#sorry im so passionate about this i get the whole saving the world arguments but i really wanna see who is making them

[ezrabridgerr]

just saw a post saying "in joel's defence", ummm he needs a defence? like what the fuck else was he supposed to do, who the hell is questioning his actions, what's the offence here,

[unpopularly-opinionated]

RE: My post earlier about the Ooblets Epic Games Exclusive backlash.

I’m not going to show the Twitter user, if you follow the indie game development scene on Twitter it’s likely you’ll recognize this tweet, either way that’s not who I am. The Ooblet’s account on the other hand is fair-game since it’s basically a product placement.

I feel it needs reiterating how utterly dense this kind of tweet is, and how completely skewed the narrative for this issue has gotten, so let me reiterate in obnoxiously large and emboldened font to try and get the point across:

THE GAMING COMMUNITY IS NOT TOXIC

“Honesty” and “transparency” are all well and good, but unless you’re honestly trying to drive away your own community, perhaps you should try being a little less honest and a little less transparent. No one (or I guess no one but this guy and the few who agree with him) is going to thank you for honestly throwing them under the proverbial bus after they’ve spent months, if not years, supporting your project; your dream.

I’ve heard from others that “this is just how they write” and “it’s meant to be funny”, and to an extent, I can understand that. But let me just include some screenshots from the post in question to reiterate my point, because I feel like my previous post didn’t quite get the point across:

(Context: What the Epic Games Exclusivity Deal means for you, the fan and/or financial backer of Ooblets).

I get that the Fortnite bit is the joke, ha ha, Fortnite used to be wildly popular, I get it, good meme. What isn’t the joke, and what was part of why people got upset was the first bit, specifically the “download the Epic Games Launcher and make an Epic Games account” bit, that bit.

Now, I personally have no qualms about having the Epic Games Launcher on my PC. I have long since looked beyond the ‘scandal’ of tech companies saving and selling my data to distant lands to be used for nefarious moneymaking schemes. Is it bad? Sure, maybe. Would I prevent it had I the chance? Of course. Do I have that chance? Not a chance in the world, so I decide to live with it.

That said, many others have not reached that point of fuck it, and understandably so. I hit that point because of my negative outlook on society as a whole but, praise be, there are in fact still some optimists out there who look at these shitty corporate tactics and say no to them, and good on them for that.

That is what I would say is the bulk of the primary issues people have with the Epic Games Store. The missing features bits aren’t terribly important, as even this post says, if you have a social life on Steam, then use Steam. The EGS does not need to be your do-all replacement.

This is where the post should have stopped. Here and now, had this post ended, any and all issues with this decision would have been but a whisper in the wind. As I said in my previous post, yes they undoubtedly would have received plenty of critical, and non-critical backlash for the decision regardless, but ending the post here would’ve 100% put the developers on the right side in this situation and I’d be right up there agreeing with that tweet.

(Context: Are you angry at Epic and/or us for this decision?)

Referring to earlier when I said that playful tone and humour are all fine and dandy, I understand that this is probably meant to sound playful and humourous, but it comes across as largely self-important and ignorant, and the bits that follow do in no way dissuade from that appearance.

While my response to this complaint was similar to their own, in that you should just use Steam for the features that the Epic Games Store lacks, they go on to essentially say that this is just baby EGS and that Steam used to be just like it and look at it now.

While they aren’t technically wrong, from a development point of view, the big thing they need to understand is how web standards have dramatically changed since 2003 when the Steam store launched. Launching a store, of any variety, without a shopping cart is a big no-no.

As far as missing features go, that’s not like missing a friends list or a IM feature, that’s missing a crucial part of a web-based storefront. Imagine going to a store and only be allowed to purchase one thing at a time, that would be ridiculous.

Their response to this was as corporate as any triple-A publisher, or really any corporation at all, from any industry. Just a complete disconnect from society that frankly is unwarranted from what is quite literally a two person operation. Not to mention, their response is quite literally what every parent warns their kids about at a young age. “But mooooooooooooom, everyone is doing it!!!!” Yes sweetie, but if everyone jumps off a bridge, are you going to?

Apparently, yes.

And not to discount the idea of making money, by all means make money, but let me put it this way, had they left this post exactly where I said they should have previously, all of the blame would be at Epic’s feet. Because at the end of the day, having your game be exclusive to one service does not make you money, it makes them money. So this whole “everyone is doing it” schtick doesn’t fly when coming from the developers. Had this been a post by Epic (and frankly with all the shilling I could be convinced it was from them) then this argument might have made just a tiny bit more sense.

Underlined in yellow are the jokes; the “playful” and “humourous” attitude I’ve heard so much about. Underlined in red however, are what the developers are actually genuinely saying with complete and utter seriousness.

“There are worse things in the world to be upset about.” I kid you not, that’s their argument.

Now, all of that reiterated, to get to the actual point of this post (wish Tumblr let you do multiple “Keep Reading” lines but I digress), the article linked in the tweet here is about the previous “non-critical” backlash I mentioned they’d receive, though multiplied exponentially by their horrendous blog post, and further community responses to said blog post.

I’d like to refer to a completely unrelated post I made quite a while ago that really needs to spread like wildfire if you ask me:

RECEIVING INSULTS, UNCRITICAL FEEDBACK, AND/OR DEATH THREATS DOES NOT INVALIDATE THE CRITICAL FEEDBACK NOR THE ISSUE AT HAND.

I am by no means wiping away death threats or mean words as things to scoff at, by all means take them as seriously as you will, but under no circumstances should 20+ people telling you to kill yourself invalidate the hundreds of fans and financial backers who are upset with your recent financial decision, or your response to criticisms to those decisions.

This happens time and time and time again. Someone of note does something bad, for one reason or another, and instead of responding to the completely warranted and justified criticism and feedback they instead play up the 15+ people who IM’d them to drink bleach and throw it up as “an example of the ever present toxic gaming community”.

More or less, the substance to this article is their “apology”, and I use that term very loosely but I’ll get to that, to the community at large for the recent events. The post summarizes the issue from their (biased) perspective, posts some screenshots of the colourful responses they’ve received, the usual woe-is-me schtick.

I’d like to highlight a few bits from it to further exemplify the continued mindset of these people:

I have given the full context to this next statement with these screenshots so that I can now take parts of these statements out of their context to, at least to my belief, succinctly identify the mindset of these folks:

“I understand the relationship people think they might be owed when they exchanged money for goods or services, but...we’ve never actually sold them anything and don’t owe them anything at all.”

I don’t want to get off-topic any more than necessary, but this, this right here is why fundraisers, Kickstarters, GoFundMes, Patreon subscriptions, or any other form of crowdsourcing platforms need to be handled with extreme care. I hesitate to say regulated legally, but I am by no means opposed to that idea.

I want to express this carefully and plainly: LEGALLY, yes they are absolutely right that they do not owe anyone anything. At least to my knowledge, they didn’t have a formal Kickstarter, their financial backing came primarily from whatever it is they do for a living AND the support of their Patreon backers.

And while I do not feel that it needs addressing, for the sake of consistency I will address it: MORALLY they owe the game to anyone who financially supported them with the express purpose of developing the game.

“We definitely owe all of you who supported us, but also fuck off you entitled cunts because we don’t owe you shit.”

When in the face of well-deserved criticism, deflect deflect deflect. As if a broken record, I’d like to again emphasize that yes, legally they owe no one anything. Morally, they do. Legally, they don’t. Morally, yes. Legally, no.

This, in essence, is a response to the majority of people who are like me, who aren’t screaming vitriolic personable attacks, telling them to drink bleach, long jog off a short pier, the works. Essentially: “If you aren’t with us, then you’re against us.”

Because apparently pointing out your blatant mischaracterisation of the gaming community, your outrageously awful personal relations skills, and most especially your morally bankrupt understanding of the relationship between you and the people financially supporting your passion project means we are, by their logic, on a level equivalent in nature to the 10+ people telling them to drink bleach.

Fixed for typos:

Remember how I said this was an “apology” in the loosest form, well what I was referring to was how in the beginning during their (totally unbiased) summary of the events, they more or less said “Sorry you didn’t respond the way we wanted you to.” Beyond that, yeah, it’s not an apology.

And why would we expect one? Nothing they have spat out in the face of their fans so far has even a hint of self-realization or self-reflection in it. Even their acknowledgement of their (horrendously under exaggerated) bad PR skills comes across as a hollow acknowledgement, if it can even be referred to as an acknowledgement at all, because if you truly truly acknowledged it, then this post wouldn’t exist.

As to this anti-Semitic fabrication making the rounds, I have not seen it so I will take their word for it that they did not make one, especially since I have seen fabricated evidence involving Discord messages rearranged out of order. What I feel needs addressing specifically in this chunk though is his reference to “my messages taken out of context to insinuate I don’t care about our patrons/fans”, because if you’ve seen my previous post then you’ll know no amount of context makes this statement look good:

Sure, it’s a true statement of fact now that they have Epic’s money, but it’s fairly obvious that it reads “We have Epic’s money now, we don’t need you anymore.” I’m sure they didn’t mean that, but that when combined with their other statements regarding how they don’t owe their patrons anything, what they are saying is clear as day.

But hey, credit where credit is due, at least with this we can agree:

But of course, as these people are now infamously known for not ending their posts where they reasonably should...

Now I know how much money goodwill, faith, and morals make, and again I would fully expect this kind of response from the likes of EA, Ubisoft, Bethesda, or fuck even Amazon or Facebook to show that corporate greed has no industry bounds, but this is a two person team whose passion project is to make this game which is being financially supported by loyal fans and future customers.

And that’s just it, that is the mind-boggling part to me, that this is all just the self-important, mischaracterising, morally bankrupt, and childishly ignorant ramblings of a small little husband and wife duo.

In summary...

As was said in the blog post, I’m sure that looking from the outside in we don’t get to see the full scope of the vitriolic comments they’re receiving, so to that I give them credit, and the most sincerest of apologies. I’ve received a few death threats and vitriolic hate-filed messages in my time on the internet, and while personally I am unphase by them, I can fully understand that it can be damaging to one’s self-esteem and self-confidence, especially when it comes in relation to your passion project. I am sorry.

But unwarranted, hate-filled, vitriolic, suicide-baiting messages do not invalid those of us criticizing you for the things that you did do, the words that you did say, and the actions that you did take. I mentioned this in my previous post, but as it stands, the centerpiece to this issue isn’t even about the Epic Exclusivity Deal anymore, it’s about you. You and your treatment, of not just the community at large (for which, might I add, is your primary customer base), but of your treatment towards your loyal fans and financial supporters along the way.

You, for whatever reason, act as most of us have come to expect a soulless and faceless triple-A publisher would, when in fact you are just a two person team with public faces. You’re taking the shots that the likes of EA, Activision, or Bethesda would and have taken, but you’re forgetting that it is above and beyond easier to find you then it is to find them.

All we, but more importantly your fans want from you is for you to make the best game that we all know you’re capable of. And for those who supported you this far along the way to be given even an ounce of respect, despite you not needing their support anymore.

[alchemist-shizun]

About that Carry On Prinxiety AU

For now I laid out a bit of the plot, if you want to share some ideas just hit me up~

This is going to be a LOT to take on my shoulders but I will try and probably fail BUT TRYING IS KEYWORD (i really do believe in myself don't I? Everything under the cut!)

Since they all have their peculiarities, I'm gonna say that yes Virgil might be the Baz and Roman could be the Simon of this story, but I think either would fit for different reasons so they just have the same energy and will keep their own characterization. (If I'm able to not go ooc on this one wish me luck)

If I'm creative enough I'll try making an American school that is located in Florida, so that the characters know nothing much about what's happening in Watford and I can still make references without chronological contradictions.

Thomas could probably be the head mage too. I'm imagining him being very interested in the Normal culture and dressing like a Normal adult instead of the head of a great magical school, his "obsession" (kind of like Arthur Weasley's, if you will) is not really well-liked by most of the mages (especially the Old Fams), some believe that the students should have a better example instead of a man that always seems on the verge of leaving the magic world behind. The students, on the other hand, love him very much thank you. (yes even the ones whose parents insult him)

Oh my god I just had an epiphany: imagine Thomas obviously being in love with Disney and maybe Roman is very close to him so like he's talking about Virgil and Thomas just STRAIGHT UP STARTS SINGING SMTH LIKE THE MUSES' PARTS IN WON'T SAY IM IN LOVE OR LIKE THAT LION KING ONE AAAAAAAA and Roman is like ssss t o p but in the end joins in because he's w e a k (same)

Anyway for the main bois what I was thinking was that, with the prophecies about the Chosen One being there for a long time and them not knowing about Simon or anything, (this is becoming like Skam, there are many Snowbaz in the world) they just so happen to find in Roman an extraordinary amount of magic

Everybody is convinced Roman might be the Greatest Mage, the info flies out into the magical world of America but they decide to not share the info with other states. Roman gets very excited about this and works hard and trains himself in preparation for the big moment where he was going to have his big fight.

Virgil is his roommate (oh my god they were roommates), and of course, they can't stand each other at all. Virgil is definitely fed up with this story about the Chosen One, which Roman brings out in any possible conversation, so he uses it against him to tease him. Just imagine Roman bragging about something and Virgil being like "yeah but for a Greatest Mage you still haven't done anything so Great", or like Roman is having trouble with a spell or a subject? "Aren't you the chosen one?", Virgil only brings it up to make him mad and loves his flustered face. (keyword "loves" *wink*)

As much as I'm hopelessly in love with the idea of Vamp!Virgil (which would fit if he had Baz's role), I just had an angsty idea so I'm saving it for later c:

Hey how about a half-elf Virgil??? Anyone? Sorry I love elves

As for the time they spend together, they do the same thing as Simon and Baz, they avoid each other, spend time out of their room if the other's in there, make up different routines so they don't have to share anything and only really stay in the same room if they have to sleep. (idk why i said "if" like they don't need sleep)

Let me remind you that the beds are very close.

One time Roman woke up in the middle of the night and screamed in fear upon seeing a figure on the window.

It was just Virgil and he almost fell out, he would have probably smacked his head if it wasn't for the roommates' anathema or whatever it is called in english.

Virgil said he just couldn't sleep but he will never admit it was because of a pretty violent nightmare.

Roman does really think that he doesn't sleep at all and just uses his magic to stay awake judging by the dark circles under his eyes.

idk about you but I like the idea of Logan being something similar to Penelope, so Logan is Roman's best friend, they had met in the first year and Logan seemed one of the only ones who didn't approach Roman only because of his fame about being the Chosen One. Logan is simply amazing and brilliant at all subjects and surprises everyone since he's said to come from a family with weak powers.

Roman finds in him a very valid studying companion and he has to admit a lot of his best spells come from practicing/learning them from Logan. Also Logan loves explaining the stuff he's learnt, while Roman has this insatiable will to know everything to be able to defeat whatever bad guy will present in front of him. They basically become inseparable, despite having some friendly fights that are always solved with a snack break.

They !! deeply !! care !! for !! each other !!

Out of the other characters idk if Patton would fit anybody entirely, but I'm going to keep the 3v3 groups, so Pat will most likely be hanging out with Roman and Logan, he's actually very good friends with Virgil (none can escape Patton's friendliness) and tries to reason with Roman when he's mad about something Virge might have said. He's probably the reason why he hasn't killed Virgil yet. Patton doesn't come from a big family and lives with his grandmother when he's out of school. (I still have to develop this)

Forget about Dev and Niall and get ready for Deceit and Remus. I don't wanna give a headcanon name to Deceit bc I don't have one so he's gonna be a mysterious boy and everyone will call him Dee since it's the nickname I use for him. Both of them are two chaotic messes in their own ways. Dee, despite still being composed most of the times, is VERY fixated on his society discourses and arguments, he could come up to you one day out of the blue being like "so about the plan to overthrow the government" and you probably never even heard of it in the first place

JUST GIVE ME PASSIONATE DECEIT

Remus, on the other hand, messes a LOT with spells and you can see him traveling to the weirdest places. One day he was found trying to make the water creatures do a circus bit for him. People don't know how he's able to make his way through tests, but it's actually because he loves bugging Dee since he doesn't give the slightest shit about the weird things he suggests and they often end up studying together.

(I had the wildest thought thinking about Remus as Trixie)

Virgil, Deceit and Remus are what people call the "Untouchable trio", only because they come from the highest and oldest of the Old Families. They had been friends ever since kids since their Families met quite often, they never really fell apart despite being very different from one another. They're actually pretty chill people, it is only their surnames that make some people wary of them. They're not generally approached by anyone.

Idk if I wanna bring Emile and Remy in this, but I am tempted™, I'll think about it

So, Roman, am I right? Forgot to say he comes from a pretty big fam of hunters, they're the types of people that are lovable but won't hesitate to kill a bitch if needed.

But Purp, where's our creativitwins content? Thing is, yes they're actually brothers, but they were separated ever since kids for reasons none really knows? They never talk about it, even if asked to. They were given to two different families. They're aware of each other, but none has ever seen them interact. (I might find some angsty backstory on this just you wait)

Up until here Roman has always believed himself to be destined to the greater good, he's the chosen one, his destiny is the one to be the protagonist of the magic world and its hero.

At least that's what he thought until the fifth year.

One day during the fifth year, Virgil was doing homework on his room's table when Roman bursts in, louder than usual, and throws himself face-first on the bed, uncaring about ruining his hair or his clothes. That was an unusual sight since he never came into the room before evening or even before dinner. Virgil immediately knew something was wrong, but he didn't realize how serious the thing was.

So of course, he teases him a bit trying to get some info from him but only makes the situation worse. When Virgil calls him Greatest Mage as a joke, that's when Roman finally snaps at him in a way that Virge would have never expected. Roman really is enraged, yells at him and throws his pillow across the room since he can't hit him. He storms out of the room when he feels tears forming in his eyes, but can't really hide his sobbing as he goes away.

Virgil is just standing there, aware that he had just made Roman cry for the first time in his life and hated the sight with his whole being.

Roman had just learnt that he wasn't, in fact, the Chosen One, nor the Greatest Mage. Just an ordinary mage, like anybody else, who, in his opinion, had no other destiny than to finish school, find a job and just ... live?

So he's destroyed, all those dreams revealed themselves to be castles built in the air.

School is ending and Roman is just a bit numb, he's not really failing his classes but he's not as bright as ever. He barely leaves his room and doesn't talk to his friends as often, who are very concerned. Even Virgil tries to talk to him at some point. Thomas visits him when he has time and tries to work through the issue with him, but for the rest of the fifth year, there's nothing much to do to cheer him up.

Things seem to go back to normal as years pass and he's not in the spotlight anymore, none really talks about the Greatest Mage anymore and mages just carry on with their studies as they've always done. Everything's fine and normal.

And Roman hates it. But he's working in the shadow, so none notices his discomfort.

It only happens when he reaches the eighth year. It's impossible for Virgil to not recognize that Roman is slipping away at night and only comes back after some hours, either with dirty clothes or things tangled in his hair, he always came back different from when he left, meaning he definitely was wandering off outside.

One night he really can't stop thinking about how worried he is that Roman might get in trouble by himself, while he could probably prevent that, so he decides to follow him. Apparently, Roman is trying to find some kind of important and scary adventure to prove to himself that he's not as useless as he thinks himself to be, but Virgil still doesn't know this.

Virgil doesn't know what to do about the situation and decides to talk to Patton about it, in the end, the two of them decide to make a plan to talk to Roman with Logan, too.

On the other hand, Roman had been seen hanging out with Deceit or Remus, or both at the same time, trying to pry out information from them about how to get to certain forbidden spots of the school if he ever needed to. Surprisingly they don't ask many questions.

Chaos ensues when one night everything goes horribly wrong.

SO YEAH these are a bunch of things that I got right off the bat, I still have to think about the entire plot but don't want to spoil anything, basically the story would begin on the eighth year, just like Carry On, when Roman starts sneaking out. There might be things I need to fix but still I repeat that this is just a draft or a bunch of ideas that I got together somehow.

Tags: @soul-of-a-vixen & @flowersheep who wanted to know more about it~ (I'll write it as soon as I can!!)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i was gonna send an ask like "have you considered: 'anger is a type of geography' + 4x11" and then i checked and you actually had! but if you feel like considering it More then here's a free space

oh thanks for these Layers of Allyship re: humoring my repeated [anger geography sign tapping] and checking for things and then sending me asks about it all to invite yet more Consideration.........yeah i feel like i mentioned it at least once in tags or smthing lol??? but here comes yet more consideration / giving it an In The Text post if that doesn’t exist already yet either

the Anger Is A Type Of Geography Quote From Hanif Abdurraqib in question for everyone’s reference:

anger is a type of geography. the ways out of it expand the more you love a person. the more forgiveness you might be willing to afford each other opens up new and unexpected roads. and so, for some, staying angry at someone you love is a reasonable option. to stay angry at someone you know will forgive your anger is a type of love, or at least it is a type of familiarity that can feel like love.

like, yeah sure what with winston originally talking to lauren and mafee about this and taylor Happening to walk in on it, he probably wasn’t necessarily planning to go off on his Indignant Monologue to taylor right then and there, but the fact remains that he was willing to do so, and i definitely think that that wouldn’t be the case if he didn’t have this Respect for them and think that they have respect for him in turn, and if he didn’t also think that that mutual respect is holding hands with mutually valuing each other. like, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t think taylor might actually listen / consider what he says, and he wouldn’t even Want to say it if he didn’t give a shit about them, because he’s not just complaining about “um i simply ask for more money,” it’s about the fact he Feels Disrespected by the implied deprioritization of tmc employees and that the way this (false lol) choice is presented to them being Unfair and disingenuous. like, you could (and im sure most viewers do) interpret the other stuff he says as just him backing up his “Pay Me” argument when all he really cares about is the Pay Me part, but a) that’s not how We roll and b) doesn’t make sense with winston being just as happy as anyone else in 4x12with taylor Apologizing re: many of these 4x11 points, despite them not saying they were gonna change the Bonus situation lol, and c) it Does make sense to think that the Mutual Respect between taylor and winston matters to him due to [see: the rest of this post]

well wait lol first of all yeah sure the money Must matter to him b/c nobody could possibly be in the world of High Finance as a passion project (except for taylor apparently lmao cuz i mean we know that the Real reason they are determined to stick with hedge fundery (and involved in the first place) is b/c they are the best part of the show and elevate all the other Lesser Elements of it as well) and also we can figure that this was probably winston’s first year working a Big Time Official Job and he doesn’t have the savings that other ppl might when they’ve been in the business multiple years, and this seems to be backed up by lauren referring to him as they guy who’d be the First One Smothered by either taking a bonus cut by 40% or not getting that bonus at all until a whole other year, which, like he seems to also imply, is also Unhelpful in that surely these investment finance people turn around and invest their own finances, and Bonus Now is better than Bonus Then b/c.....interest....Long Shares.......and also just like tfw you want your job to pay you.......but anyways Seriously [next paragraph]

cuz winston *must* be working at Taylor Mason Capital b/c he really values working with taylor more than, say, wanting a job that will make him the most money, or will necessarily look the best on a resumé if he’s just looking to up his stats, b/c yeah, this is sure an unlikely opportunity for him where this is what we’re assuming is his First Fancy Job and he’s getting to be the Top Quant right out of the gate, but he must also know that like, it’s still like “oh so you were head quant at a brand new fund :/” and also he must know that there’s a Risk with said fund and he might even end up having been head quant at a new fund that burned out really quick, super impressive........and, we Know that winston *knows* how good he is at what he does, even though he keeps getting dunked on for that like he’s sooo conceited lol like. he IS that good, sorry!!!! why should he downplay it, we don’t actually see him being one of these shitheads with a fragile ego trying to prove themselves Superior or whatever.....ANYWAYS yeah the point being that, winston claiming to have a lot of offers already in the interview might very well Not be any kind of bluff, and he’d surely know that he could rise through the Quant Ranks quickly enough at some other fund even if he started out as anything but Our Main Quant at those places.......and if Getting Tf Paid Top Dollar was really his primary concern, “go with the brand new hedge fund which doesn’t have Established History / Experience / Clout and has the one big investor but who knows what’ll come next and any business that Just opened is not your safest bet even if you trust in your own skill and in that of your ceo and you Know that even if you’re not immediately destroyed, funds will be tighter / of a Lesser Amount than at a bigger established fund”.........the now-dramatic-irony of him talking about how those Tech Firms Out West pay guarantees, not bonuses.........like, when he was trying to get onboard with axe cap, he was obvs interested in trying to leverage to get Paid more, which is like, not necessarily winston wanting to be a trillionaire but also just how stupidly everyone’s supposed to like Play The Game of negotiating / leveraging / calling your employer’s bluff to get a certain starting salary / get a raise or whatever, dumb as hell baked-in Requirement........discuss your wages with coworkers gang!!! anyways. and but Also winston makes it clear when interviewing for axe cap that Working With Taylor Mason has appeal, even if he’s flippant about it, cuz he’s flippant about all of it cuz that’s his shtick here.....

like, when it’s Taylor Alone who calls him back eventually, he’s fine with meeting up with Just Them, and later on meeting up with Just Them (and the other quants, rip) again, and agrees to work in this lil basement evidently Not on axe cap premises b/c he’d been at axe cap’s offices and this is Not That Place......and yeah him talking about taylor selling axe on using his algorithm in kompenso sure implies that winston has this whole time Assumed that all of this was still ultimately in the service of axe cap.......and he was apparently fine with reporting to Taylor Alone and not getting to rub elbows with any other higher-ups, and he’s obviously pleased well enough with a “good work :)” from taylor and isn’t like “hey be sure to tell axe & co i did this singlehandedly etc” or anything, and he’s not really complaining about the whole “work in this lil basement Not at axe cap hq with taylor mason dropping in at least once to check on you and that’s about it” situation, which obviously is hardly that “You’re A Valued Axe Cap Employee” treatment one might expect if they wanted that.....winston’s glad that taylor called him, he’s trying to appeal to them and what *they* want to see rather than how he tried to go for what he thinks [a place like axe cap] would wanna see like he did in the interview, he’s showing up at this weird basement rendezvous to be on a 3 person quant team of taylor’s, he’s fine to not only do this on his own but also accept those increased demands that make it a [fifty(? or 15, either way) phds would work on this]-Level task, and then he’s glad just to have taylor’s approval at the end of the day.......they Wouldn’t have been able to promise him any leverage of “please do your best work on this” with like, promotions / clout within axe cap or axe-cap-levels of Lots Of Payment b/c like, well taylor wouldn’t outright lie anyways but also Especially wouldn’t if they wanted to keep this quant around for tmc, so winston must never have been asking about that kind of thing

and then, bless your Missing Scene fic but there’s zero canon content re: “uh how/when did taylor break it to winston that this algorithm was for their own fund actually and btw do you want to work for that fund instead,” but presumably it went smoothly enough, he was already happy to Effectively work for them alone apparently even if he still thought that yeah, he was working for taylor who was working for axe........just Yeah altogether it’s evident that “Working With Taylor Mason” must matter more to him than “working with any Other big name financiers” or “getting paid as much as he can get” or “raking in that clout asap to leverage with Other jobs or just like, in general.”

and then of course you have the fact that taylor is Recognizing his ability by calling him back and offering him this job, going “despite your demeanor your skills are superior” and “those other two were sweet, but you’re more talented, i need you,” [praying hands emoji], and giving him this Second Chance and entrusting him with this Solo re: building this algorithm which, unbeknownst at the time to him, is really this linchpin of their hopes & dreams of launching their own secret fund here, and really they must’ve been planning from the start to keep him around if he succeeded b/c it’s not like the algorithm and their whole planned Quant Department wouldn’t continue to be integral to the fund’s success, it wouldn’t really be ideal to have this guy be the one to build an algorithm to reel in an investor who’s working in.....wait for it......billions of dollars here, and then be like, okay bye dude. they must Know how good he is same as winston knows how good he is, and him being Head Quant from the very start was surely never just about mase cap having precious few employees at the very start of things....they could’ve like given him that Lead Position temporarily or whatever, they’re ceo. but they really do value him as like, maybe he doesn’t have the ideal ~personality~ for what fucking ever, either for being Properly Assertive and Impressively Flashy like axe cap might want, or just easy to work with, which taylor would care more about than axe cap would lol, but yknow, they value his Abilities and surely they must also value his efforts re: I Promise To Try and re: his really singlehandedly making that brilliant amazing algorithm which evidently did the trick as they hoped it would

and then......dare i get to the Emotional part of things, the Interpersonal....the anger and the love...............

i mean already when winnie n tay are having their post-math-meetup meetup, aka the first time they’re meeting After their disastrous really-first meeting aka the Interview, you have winston taking a way more grounded approach to this “yeah i want to work for you please accept me” process which is obviously in response to what he thinks Taylor wants from him based on the mess of the interview, evident thanks to winston telling them that he’s been thinking about all of that.......and i mean, part of taylor’s whole thing is they have that grounded approach pretty much always lol, (or try to....Want to...), but they sure seem to Also be bringing this effort to Accommodate him based on the hot mess of the interview, wherein yeah they wouldn’t’ve expected to have to ever interact again with this person they were dunking into the trash (and of course from that Meta Perspective, the scene when originally written was meant to be winston’s only appearance ever), but they really seem to also be bringing a more dialed down approach, letting him talk first and going along with his “you ever done math meetup” intro until he’s the one who changes the subject, and i really see that Head Tilt as a sympathetic one lol, not necessarily like “awww :’0″ levels lmao but still like. they Know he’s likely to have some [emotional vulnerability] re: what last went down between them since they weren’t especially gentle with him then, and they like, demonstrably give a shit about that fact lol. they’re also not just wholly swinging in the other direction to make up for it or anything lol but they’re Also making it clear that, yknow, they’re willing to work with him For Real, not just in this “are you willing to work for me, y/n, okay great” way, but in this way of [winston making an effort to make things easier on taylor] and [taylor making an effort to make things easier on winston] which is already playing out here between them.

and the whole matter of winston’s seemingly genuine Dismay at messing up even part of this exchange, i.e. the “[wince-ston] damn it, sorry,” like, sure maybe he just really wants the job, but [see: everything above about how he Must primarily want to work with taylor re: wanting any of these jobs lol] and, after all, he “oh shit, sorry”s @ them when he’s well-established as their Head Quant in ep 4x08 and generally shows this directed-at-self displeasure at thinking he’s messed something up even without some clear “your (potential) job is on the line” element......he just Doesn’t Want To Disappoint Taylor Themself, doesn’t need some particular fear of further repercussion behind that.

and speaking of Lack Of Fear, you Know we love to point out how kompenso (and really winston’s :/ + “sure, why not :\”ness at the end of 3x09 lol) demonstrates that winston isn’t afraid of taylor either as an [intense and unusually-demeanor'd person who Does apparently strike people as Scary(tm) sometimes lol] or as this Esteemed Rising Star Axe Cap Higher-Up or simply as his de facto boss.........he’s not raring to tell them that the other quants bailed b/c of his own disapproval lol, but he’s honest as soon as they deduce as much, the tone of “fine, yes, big time” + his standing up to get even closer to them instead of just shaking in his desk chair like :c pls forgive me obviously does Not convey that he’s terrified of them, and then the rest of that interaction jsut being like, ugh god so fucking essential, they’re both able to stand face to face and be like I Am Looking Directly At It / I Do See It re: each other, both of them just continuing to be Honest and Direct with each other, God.....taylor might’ve swatted his metaphor away but he was not all that put out, and then they’re Using His Own Language by bringing it back three seconds later, like, yeah sure at this point they have a vested interest in this individual quant (the only one left lol) accepting this Demanding Task, but a) they’re not exactly playing it cool on that front, they Just said “i need You,” it’s unlikely that this is just some all manipulative tactic here by encouraging his metaphor after all lol and that’s hardly their style anyways even if they Can be strategic(tm) about things, and b) they’ve Just Previously adopted his own words lol with winston having said “as for not being a dick” and taylor saying “you backslid into being a dick” (combining His Phrasing with Theirs aka “if you promise not to backslide”....god!!!!!!)

and so then yeah to top it all off winston even ~pushes his luck~ lol by being a lil deliberately rude re: his ex-coworkers lmaoo, and you get taylor’s Reaction to being sort of tested here to be Closing Off Their Expression (speaking of....their tiny lil Eyebrow Twitch when winston infers that he’s making something to pitch to an investor.....god!!!!!! a) winnie n tay and b) emmy) and making it clear that their interest in him acting Easy To Work With was a practical matter......winston watching them go up the stairs, taylor looking back at him as they Ascend and he gets back to his desk.....jesus

the point being!!! they vibe with each other so well by Kompenso already and just *get* how the other operates and communicates and Neither Of Them are offput by the other, Neither Of Them are unwilling or uninterested in meeting each other where they’re at, and each exerting this effort to really work with each other........and how winston is Not intimidated by taylor as either someone who’s so ~weird~ and can be so Intense, or as someone who is his boss lol........which yknow we always also point out as Important re: tayston developing from this point, where taylor would be careful in how they approach winston about fwbship but would feel like it was even reasonable to consider it in the first place thanks to not having to feel like oh he definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable being honest if he wanted to say no / wasn’t sure

also Yeah It’s Billions but winston freely swearing with the F-word when they’re assessing the completed algorithm, which taylor has no reaction to lol.......the both of them being Hyped about this algorithm lol, like, Of Course they’d both be, but it’s fun :)

and then 4x03, with winston not acting terrified about there being potential Algorithm Problems, and taylor making sure to be like “don’t you dare blame latency” lol like which obv he May Have been planning to mention lol since he’s intending to give this technical answer rather than throwing out his Front Running / Interference Theory like mafee then does.....fun little moment too anyways.......taylor Allowing winston’s tangent about being cassandra and emails and “it’s pronounced owned,” like, they’re not raring to Interrupt / cut him off even if it’s Not obvious what he has to say is absolutely crucial and considered relevant by everyone else, and they’re not telling him he’s a stupid idiot and wasting their time or anything else before sending him away.......imagine. and just think about the beauty of winston very intently / earnestly saying his “i’m cassandra: Always Seeing The Future” right to taylor. 

and in 4x08 they build on his metaphor Again after having just Validated him despite everyone else really wanting to do the opposite lol......i “lol” but would everyone else lay off a little Lol......his self-reproach upon Registering that disapproval / oh-no-i’ve-messed-upness again.......then despite winston Standing Right Beside and then Sitting Right Behind taylor they don’t really interact l o l .....we have taylor being all “why is He so happy” and silently observing his Solo “i won” moment, rip, but also congrats.....and then i suppose that covers the Prior To 4x11 stuff lol

just......even re: the relative little we’ve Seen between them up to that point, winston might not have intended to talk to taylor right then, and he might or might not have intended to eventually talk to them in front of anyone else, but You Know He Knows that taylor listens to him, and that he doesn’t have to like, say things in what other people think is The Right And Effective Way to talk (even by billions’s fucking off the shits standards on that front lol), because taylor Does care about what he actually means and what his actual intentions are, not just “oh that very direct/honest thing you said Seemed rude whether you intended it or not”.......the “sad” after his yngwie malmsteen metaphor was the only time they’ve critiqued something like that lol and they then used that metaphor, So, and they’ve copied him calling himself a dick lol, and they built on his Sword metaphor, and they’ve just always been interested in Understanding him and communicating effectively with him, not in trying to get him to communicate differently or just making sure he knows He Should Feel Bad about how he Does communicate, though god knows the latter is something that everyone else seems to be somewhat #about. god knows some axe capper would have that “are you finished?” simply be the Purely Rhetorical intro to their barrage of Dunking-Upon insults, although it sure seems possible that that could’ve been sort of gently dismissive enough anyways to Encourage winston to not be finished even if maybe he would’ve stopped there otherwise.....but everyone else follows taylor’s lead in Not Actually Interrupting Him at any point, despite all the 9_9 and >:| as it were, and like, even though taylor then lets this whole thing end just with mafee going tf off on winston and bullying him into deferring and would-be deference, b/c winston might have this amount of moxie and he might be honest and he might not be scared of taylor (or anyone else here really) but he’s obviously not that assertive and definitely not that aggressive, he’s self-loathing, he’s easily put out, and all of this just bolsters how much it means that he communicates so well with taylor, b/c they’re Not interested in anything that would be counterproductive to actual effective communication but which might be “productive” if they had a goal of wanting to twist his arm about anything or pressure him into acting a certain way or just fueling their own ego or sense of superiority, axe cap style. they Value all his actual input and they have this respect for him where they don’t Want to bully him even if it’s not that difficult, like, yeah mafee was being mean to him for sure and trying to insult him into simply shutting tf up rather than like, actually responding to any of his points or doing anything but reinforcing them, but also winston has been Put Out by milder [negative responses] too, it’s of course more than just “i respect you too much to like, yell at you and try to diminish you”

and Frankly Winston Was Right and he may have been Indignant and he may not have been ~polite~ about it (though like, relative to how he is generally this Direct And Honest, there’s also not all that much evidence he’s deliberately trying to add some extra servings of Rudeness or anything) but once again like with the “as for not being a dick, i can’t absolute guarantee it” moment and the “fine, yes, big time” moment, and the “im sure it’ll go faster without the dead weight; Whoops ;)” moment, and the [talking about the algorithm problems] moment, and him freely jumping in with the “this plan might get us killed (not literally)” and “it’s b/c it sucks that they had to decapitate their dad, also not literally lol....although...” remarks, he’s just like, never afraid to tell taylor something that sure might not be the most pleasant for them to hear, and sure might not be something they Want to hear. and what’s Honest is that he’s Angry about this, and they won’t want to hear that and that they will even less want to hear his Honest Thoughts about why this is unfair, but he’s willing to say that to them, and even though we were like “haha boy winston if this isn’t fixed big time you might wanna quit :/” it’s also like, he must’ve trusted them to not wanna just fire him for lack of reverence to his ceo, and we can Juxtapose this with a) the scene that we’re set up to juxtapose it with, wherein a group of axe cappers carefully tell axe he’s being dumb as hell and might fuck all of them over, and axe tells them all to shut the fuck up b/c He Is Their Sun and he can do what he wants and get the fuck out of here, and we can also juxtapose it with b) winston being jumped on immediately in The Interview for ~lack of reverence~ to the potential employer, putting on this cocksure hotshot act (trying to..) and daring to express confidence in himself and be like “i should be interviewing you” / you should be selling to Me lol......jump to 4x11 and winston is caught off guard, he’s not putting on any kind of act, he’s not trying to appeal to anyone, sure mafee might turn it around on his [last we checked, the quant hates himself]ness, but this wasn’t about Winston Lashing Out b/c he’s angry at himself, he’s angry at Them for not valuing him, for what he perceives as them not even *really* giving them the option of the 60% Now approach, which sure seems to be justified seeing as apparently nobody but lauren goes for it and after winston invokes the Peer Pressure / pressure to seem Loyal / Committed by deferring, mafee immediately uses that [social pressure] to crush his dissent........where was i. right like. winston’s truly just Mad At Someone Else this time, he wouldn’t be here if his self-esteem was so low that he was immediately ready to just accept and absorb this treatment, and he Knows that taylor will actually listen to him which is their fuckin Mutual Respect thing and who tf else does that for him all the time, and he knows that taylor doesn’t value their own ego above everything else Unlike Some People, and he knows that he can be honest and get an honest reaction and that their honest reaction to his honesty is not “ugh you’re stupid / annoying / rude / etc,” b/c he’s Not, and that might be everyone else’s idea of him to some degree, but taylor Gets him better than that

and then you don’t quite have taylor being obviously Angry back, but they’re not exactly thrilled, and letting mafee go off on winston / effectively telling him they expect him to consider That the response and in turn respond back to that, can sure be interpreted as an expression of something a little short of pure goodwill and best intentions towards him here lol......again, i lol through the pain.......winston only has further reason to be angry, his Complaints weren’t resolved in the least and he came in all “i feel disrespected” and surely that’s only been doubled down on, b/c this isn’t Just “pay me goddamnit,” it’s really also just about the fundamental respect itself, which he figured that taylor cares about too, and so this would be something he could appeal to / expect them to earnestly.....he feels like none of them are being valued more than this feud with axe cap, he (maybe) feels like said feud is causing the quants’ work to be deprioritized in favor of more elaborate schemes based on “what will screw axe over specifically,” he feels like he’s not being valued as a Very Important Employee, he feels like this False Choice thanks to Social Pressure is insult to injury, like they’re not supposed to get a real chance to question this. boy i’m really just going off talking about any and all aspects of this huh, where’s the Anger Geography core here

well here it is: winston doesn’t ever talk to taylor in any more Filtered way due to them being his boss / him feeling a need to be more careful around them, if anything, they’re the one person he can be Least filtered around, b/c they care about What He Actually Means and aren’t all hung up on whether his communication style seems gratingly weird / wrong / offputting. winston isn’t bringing any particular leverage to this situation, yeah sure he pointed out He’s Valuable but he also did that in the interview with even less leverage and in the basement when he thought he was just working on some weird side project for axe cap in this remote quant dungeon - he’s counting on them to just Listen To Him and care about what he means, same as he always does and like they’ve done thus far. and he’s Temporarily Burned by this, which is tragic, but then 4x12 happens, and who knows if taylor and winston talked between these scenes at all cuz billions sure won’t say at all, but either way winston sure seems to pick up on the fact that taylor is responding to his Complaints here, the implication they were taking a too-axe-esque approach to them now answered by taylor deliberately differentiating themself from axe, and asserting that they Do value their employees and their contributions, and that taylor has this responsibility to them, and maybe Had gone astray there with the revenge jag but aren’t actually interested in that being the core of everything.........winston is Validated and we realize it and he seems to realize it lol, he definitely Was listened to, and he sure wasn’t like fired or anything, he Could Be Angry with them and that wasn’t going to lead to taylor wanting to sever even the Professional relationship or anything like that. sure seems to be no grudge held between them during the “q is for quantitative, babey” scene there lol and yeah it’s billions and shit moves fast / people will roll with A Lot of mistreatment apparently (see: winston also does not seem to harbor any grudge against mafee here lol but who knows) but the Fact Is, here they are, having found A Way Out Of [Anger], after having had this altercation which wouldn’t even have been possible if Winston hadn’t felt it was possible for them to interact like this, for him to be mad and be honest about that anger and the hows and whys of it and for that Not to be a dead end between them or something that could shatter the relationship entirely. and he was Validated!!!!

and guess who i also love to quote and paraphrase lol i also think of mariame kaba talking about interpersonal Conflict being possible Opportunities in a relationship, because working through said conflict can allow the relationship to grow / deepen / strengthen. which sure seems to Hold Hands with this idea: that you can Be Angry with someone because you already know that won’t break the relationship, and that even if you don’t already know that, going through that experience / process of Being Angry with someone and coming out the other side together will show that the relationship can handle that / will have involved gaining tools to be able to handle that going forward. and really like, we’ve seen winston Forgive taylor’s anger at him right off, and that may not be the sweeping heights of love but it came from Understanding (and....low self-es steam probably lol) but no really, he Shows that he understands why they reacted like that by behaving in this way that he figures is more in line with what they actually want, just talking and being direct with no boxes or [wags] or standard boring interview questions or posturing, showing he’s willing to work with them in the “please hire me” and “i’ll try to Behave” ways lol........and taylor is offering their own patience and sympathy and restraint and Understanding and willingness to bend.......things are happening on an emotional plane between them here.

and then after winston chooses to be on board with mase cap, and after he’s worked for them so long that it’s comp time baby, and after these few Sample Interactions we’ve seen in which taylor doesn’t cut winston down or show contempt for him and they continue to directly or indirectly validate him, winston can be Angry with them and taylor can (definitely Sorta) be Angry back, and winston surely even Stayed Angry after that scene in 4x11, and he didn’t quit, and was that [terrible self-esteem actually lol] or was it him believing that there could be a way out of this state of anger between him and taylor? both?? we get to decide!! b/c he’s sure not Validated and Vindicated until later lol.....what does he sit there on that couch alone in that room and Think in those moments...........and then once things Are better resolved, they have this whole [episode of conflict] in their history, and like is the whole Point of all of this, that’s hardly necessarily just some awful and unfortunate thing.......their relationship can survive something like that, and the conflict sure sparked this kind of Genuine Interaction between them which couldn’t have happened if winston just shied away from all this / kept it to himself because he didn’t think taylor would Listen or Care or Understand. 

and it’s Not Just About The Money, and even when he expresses that he’s upset about this perceived disrespect / not being valued as an employee, we Know that he’s not someone who’s got this need to feel superior to everybody else / like he’s always Winning, and we know he’s not after Maximum Clout, but he does want to Work With taylor and he evidently wants to feel valued By Them, who does happen to be his boss and does have this avenue to potentially treat any employees unfairly. and we know that winston *knows* in this objective way how good his work is, and both winston and taylor have acknowledged that yeah, His Work / professional quantly ablities have value, so winston Knows he should expect for that to be valued in the form of “your quantributions are important and you’re getting paid to reflect that”........and that he feels like he’s for once not being Allowed Honesty re: everyone supposedly being pressured into deferring is like..........what do he and taylor have if not earnest, open communication b/c they both value and respect what the other Really Has To Say!!!!!! that’s winnie n tay and it’s also tayston.

which, speaking of which, Sidenote: when it comes to tayston hcs we generally have this as a “they’re not currently doing Their Thing at this point anyways, and maybe the fact that that’s been ended (and they Haven’t been talking through this particular conflict yet) is adding to the tension / anger / feeling of not being valued hahaha rip” deal lol, but also if they Were still currently in their fwb/[???]ship like obviously this would spill over and probably require an at-least-temporary halt to give everyone some space seeing as it’d be a little impossible to truly completely Set That Aside in the recent aftermath l o l ......but despite the lingering tension / awkwardness that would be present whenever they Do next meetup [imagine: an I Was On The Phone With You, Sweetheart phonecall prior to 4x12′s scene?? wrow] the layers to that ensuing sex lol......reunion sex? makeup sex? not-hate-sex-but-maybe-still-needing-to-vent-a-lil-Emotional-frustration-maybe sex? maybe all of the above and more

ANYWAYS even i don’t know why this is so long, and also it’s 7am. i definitely think that winston trusted taylor and the Relationship between them to be able to handle Anger (his, for once, lol) and for that Anger to even potentially be something Constructive. and he was right. and in 4x12 he’s there with them at the very end, wearing the tmc logo, standing behind them in the hellhole which is axe cap hq, knowing that taylor is the one person (here, certainly) who definitely Gets and who’s Got him, who’s asserted this loyalty and commitment to him after he’s certainly done that re: them, and once again winston definitely has this Choice to be here with them just like he must’ve had that choice to join up with their fund in the first place, he’s never been trapped with them or forced into alliance with them, and we just Know that he’s not choosing to be here just for Linkedin reasons / what’s best for career advancement and/or for raking it in as best as he can manage and/or for gaining clout and status or whatever, and we sure never see him reaping some kind of deluxe treatment/benefits just for being closely associated with taylor / having their approval. everything we see points to winston caring most about what happens between him and taylor and that he gets to work with them and that he’s here because of that mutual respect and value for each other. 

and really, the show also repeatedly tells us that winston Does basically have these world-class abilities and *is* that valuable, and we know that winston Knows how good he is, and he must’ve legitimately had all those offers and known that he’s really good enough that these places Should compete for him. he must’ve known that he has this Potential here and all of these options laid out in front of him, and he takes taylor’s call and shows up in a basement for them and singlehandedly writes an algorithm good enough to found their fund upon and he follows them there when now he’s got this Proof of just how incredible his work is and could’ve leveraged that anywhere else. but his relationship with taylor has always had this personal aspect to it and the fact is that, even with his choice of Paths laid out in front of him, he chose and keeps choosing the geography of winnie n tay. Love. thank you and goodnight

[oikawasbread]

(part 1) Ah, okay for matchup’s, I thought it would be cool to try one of theses because I've never done one before. I’m female, and bisexual. I’m a Scorpio, and I enjoy track and cross country, dancing, which i’m fairly good at, photography and reading in general. I also find myself getting back into drawing and singing oftenly. It said I was a INTP-T. I have relatively short brown hair, which is curly. I’m mixed, more on the tan side and i’m 5′6 (I just checked)

I wear glasses majority of the time, and i’m fairly curvy. I see myself as a ambivert who has a bit of a shy shell, but can easily be broken into revealing a very energetic human being. My friends describe me as scary?? Aka, i’m not afraid to defend myself or state my opinion in many conversations. Along with that, I do get anxiety quiet often and wonder frequently if I accidentally made someone mad or not. With people I trust or like, i’m fairly loud and laugh alot- and its to the point where people have to tell me to calm down lmao. I enjoy engaging conversations almost about anything, and I wish I can have those types of talks more in my life. Alone however, i’m usually quiet and don’t start conversations unless I have too, or someone starts a conversation with me. In relationships, I’m just looking for someone who can make me laugh, while also tying me down when my emotions get the best of me, while respecting who I am. A few negative parts about my life can be simply showed with my zodiac sign with me being able to get jealous really fast and holding big grudges other small things, which are two things i’m trying to work on currently. On the positive note, I will say that I will literally take a bullet to save any of my best friends to be completely honest. I enjoy the rain, snow, and cold temperatures. I love animals and I have a very tiny doggo that I treasure with every ounce of my being. finally the last one im so sorry) I really enjoy reading about Greek gods and fantasy books. Another fact is that I get flustered really easily, which a lot of people tease me about. I don’t exactly like to stand out, which is why my wardrobe has more dark colors, as I don’t own any red/orange/yellow or pink shirts. And finally the last fact I thought I should include randomly is that I play the piano and learning it this year was one of the best decisions I've made in my life.

Damn, don’t feel sorry for this detailed description, fr. I actually enjoyed so much writing this. As a scorpio, I relate to you so much. I spent so much time on this and you gave me so much info so i had to do a whole character analysis for you and I felt like i was writing about myself. So I enjoyed writing this so much cause I realised new things I didn’t knew about me and it feels good to know that I’m not the only one who is like this.

Anyways!

MATCHING WITH : OIKAWA TOORU

Aight, I know that so many people hate him. And i don’t know if you hate or love him , but hear me out : Besides being a cancer and working with a scorpio so well, i feel like Oikawa would be perfect for your character.

-

 he’s totally in love with the way you style your brown curly hair. 

he says ‘’it’s almost as good as my hair’’

  he’s a total simp he knows your hair is better than his

 has a thing for your tanned skin. tbh u make him wish he wasn’t so pale :’( baby boy wants to get that tanned shiny skin! but it is what it isss

 you being 5’6 makes it easy for him to mock you. 

but he won’t exaggerate, because he knows you’re going to cut him with your sharp glance

 you’re clearly the top in this relationship. i mean you’re a scorpio. are we surprised?

 y’all r going to volleyball matches looking badass asf with your matching glasses but in reality you two are being crackheads in the last row of seats

 he clearly sees through you, but not since the beginning  

 at first, he was totally a bit scared to approach you. he’s always seen you being intimidating and sarcastic

you were like a challange to him, since Tooru himself is pretty intimidating and sarcastic

until he opens his mouth

and i think this is what makes you two so perfect for each other : you just need some time to warm up, then you suddenly become the funniest people of the group

 as a scorpio,  you can be pretty insensitive, having trouble when it comes to expressing your feelings, and when you and Tooru get into a fight, you won’t hesitate to throw some venomous words. sometimes you just can’t control your anger

but he knows you well. he won’t take it by heart since he knows how short your temper is, and he’s willing to step on his pride and put an end to your argument

 you’’re not afraid to step up. you’ve always went too far to defend your beliefs and he’s totally whipped. he thinks you would make a great lawyer haha

he loves how you always have a good argument for everything and how you can beat people in a fight just with your words. it’s truly amazing for him, the power you hold

so he avoids fighting with you

           I JUST KNOW you guys both have struggles when it comes to following rules. it comes with your zodiac sign. even though he’s way softer and innocent than you, you will drag him into your adventures. and he won’t say no :’)

 sometimes you feel like Oikawa is the only person who understands you, who doesn’t think you’re insane

he may not be a genius, but you can’t deny the fact that he’s actually clever

he understands you without even having to hear any words coming out of your mouth

Tooru knows you’re rebellious, stubborn, independent; he knows how you sometimes can feel 29843 emotions at the same time, and he’s here for you

he won’t question you when you don’t feel like talking. Instead, he would make a cup of your favourite tea, add  some ice in it, and watch you reading your favourite book while you’re drinking the tea in which he put his secret ingredient <3 love!!

you love reading about Greek Gods, and he loves aliens : so you slowly became a fan of the universe, the unknown, and he started to love the Greek Mythology

totally in love with your dance moves ; watching you dance is his favourite hobby; the way your body moves amazes him and he tries to dance like you sometimes . he may be the great king but not on the dance floor.

long story short, he’s in love with everything about you : your passion for photography, the things you’re reading (he actually finds your favourite authors quite interesting) , the way you’re singing in the shower or how you’re humming some familiar songs when you’re focused on something

he thinks he’s so lucky, and skipping some volleyball practices to hear you play his fave song at the piano is totally worth it

when he found out you’re an athlete, his brain went poof

watching you run with the sunlight dripping all over you was what he needed to get his mind off the school and vbc stress

having a thing for sports made you even more interesting and hot (he didn’t knew you could get hotter than you already are)

sometimes he can see that you’re needing approval, and he tries his best to let you know that you are the greatest at whatever you do.

you think he’s bluffing just to make you feel good, but you appreciate it so much even tho baby boy actually thinks you’re the greatest. like fr. you are his grand queen

you have a rich inner world, so you’d rather focus your attention on it instead of the external world. 

Oikawa thinks it’s pretty cute, cause you guys sometimes have lazy Sundays when you just lay in bed all day and do nothing but enjoying each others presence and your own thoughts.

Tooru, just like you, hates failure. losing any type of match puts him down, and the same happens to you. 

you feel like you wanna start over and do things the other way around, but you can’t.

the good thing is, you have each other.

 he mocks the hell out of your jealousy. whenever his fan girls are approaching him, you feel your heart stop and the oxygen fading away. you just wanna let out your anger

but he knows it, and he will reassure you that you don’t have any reason to feel that way. 

he’s only interested in his Grand Queen and no one else can change his mind.

he finds it quite fun that you hold grudges over small things, he can clearly see that you’re vengeful, and that makes you two lil partners in crime.

BUT the way you’re willing to do absolutely anything for him or your friends inspires him so much. 

of course, he would take a bullet for you. But your strong spirit is what’s making him be so passionate about everything : you inspire him

 the best days for him are when you two are around the house, and it suddenly starts raining. 

he only has to look at you once, and you both drop everything you’re doing and run outside to just sit in the rain. the feeling of the cold rain on your skin while you’re trapped between his arms makes your heart explode

 little moments like these are making you both fall in love more and more everyday.

I really really hope you enjoyed this! I tried my best and please feel free to request again whenever you want! <33                                                                                          

-Riley

[onlyjihoons]

collegebf! daniel

a/n; happy birthday to kang choding hehe,, dedicated for my dearest mother @mongniel aurora until she disowned me so im trying to validate myself and also the loyal mom, ariane @deepdickdaniel

(repost bc the tags werent working)moodboard will be uploaded in a seperate post soon!

major: vetinary

minor: sports science

honestly took up vetinary bc of peter and rooney

so he could save on the fees to the vet

though he puts up a strong front he is often a kultz and actually really soft??

likes kids too and often swings by the early childhood department to visit minhyun

but let’s face it, animals like him better than the babies do

has a phobia of insects, especially flying ones

hence cant join practical lessons that involves specimen or live insects

his classmates would be kind enough to share with him the notes they took in class, but he would rather fail the topic than look at notes of insects

there was once his friend, ong threw a fake spider whilst daniel was studying and he screamed, pushing off the seemingly 1 ton table and chair away from him

ong was like,,, “are you sure he wants to be a vet next time”

despite his phobia of insects, he will actually grin and bear it when he needs to remove lice from animals

red bull and gummy addict, but more likely to die of shock from insects than diabetes

you will always spot a can of red bull on his lecture desk, and bet 10 bucks it has a love note attached to it from his admirers

fairly popular in school, because a soft, tall and cute guy doing vetinary?? he just screams boyfriend material in that white lab coat

and glasses slipping down his nosebridge just makes him look even more cuter

loves dancing as a hobby so he took it up as his minor

does b-boying and modern dance, looks equally hot in both

when the school hall is filled with girls, it is either some kpop boy band is performing, or daniel and his dance group, wanna one are performing

has so much charisma in his dancing, the idea of “cute daniel” gets thrown away

but a cute bunny most of the time who is addicted to gummies

surprisingly, hasn’t dated a lot as contrast to rumours that he’s a fuckboy

he really hates fucking around with others’ feelings… despite being choding(childish) around his hyungs of wanna one

meanwhile you,, a medicine student trying to keep up with the expectations of society

to be honest, you’re doing well

but not well enough to enter the top hospitals of seoul

and you’re here on scholarship anyway, might as well make use of it to make your parents proud

you’re your parents’ only child too, the pressure to do well is also quite high

you barely dated, the only time was in high school where you were a foolish teenager dating your best friend

you did have classmates confessing to you though, but everything stayed platonic

they weren’t upset surprisingly, they were more than willing to be friends with you too

eventually they found their other halves, but are still good friends with you

you were glad guys in your faculty were understanding,, unlike some that disliked you after that

you were friends with jaehwan, your old friend since the both of you were in diapers

he took up music, and ended up having lots of college scholarship offers

he eventually went to your college, despite it not one of his first few choices

“my friend would die a lonely virgin if i didnt help her with her love life”

“shut up jaehwan, 80% of your girlfriends broke up with you because your laugh is annoying”

“i dId NOT aSk for this sLaNdEr”

anyway, you had no idea how jaehwan ended up in wanna one(and daniel’s roomate), depite his “boom boom-bastic” dance skills

winkwonk

but that boy’s vocals can reach to the gods in heaven and appease them

he tried to matchmake you with all of the members of wanna one(excluding the minors of course) but it all failed because your friend was the worst at being discreet

the lords of venus eventually shined upon you when daniel was sent to your faculty for “emergency” treatment

“y/n,,, we need you to fix daniel, quick.” jaehwan said breathlessly over the phone

“if he needs a one night stand, im not an option, you know that, kim jaehwan.”

“no, that stupid boy accidentally cut himself while trying to disect a frog… and he’s bleeding a lot.”

“oh the flower boy from vetinary?” you nodded as you took your first aid kit, “but you aren’t even majoring in vetinary, jaehwan, what are you doing with daniel?”

“he called me to call you– ok nevermind, i’ll explain to you later, we’re on our way to your faculty. wait for us outside the medicine labs.”

“uh okay.”

so there you were, waiting outside the medicine labs with your first aid kit

seconds later, you saw 3 boys running towards you, one visibly taller than the other 2

you could finally make out their faces, it was jaehwan, daniel and another boy, wonwoo whom you were friends with due to jaehwan’s failed matchmaking

“y/n,, i think daniel is gonna suffer from anaemia…”

you tried to stifle your laughter as you examined the cardigan wrapped around daniel’s hand

“he won’t. don’t worry.” you assured them as you unraveled the cardigan, “let’s just hope it’s nothing too deep…”

when you revealed the wound, it was just a minor cut, though not as minor as a paper cut but definitely bleeding

you glared at jaehwan, who smiled sheepishly and resigned to his death after you treated daniel

you dressed the wound quickly, lips pursed in concentration

what you didnt notice was daniel’s gaze, which was on you the whole time

he had a weird feeling in his stomach, he wanted to use his other hand to run it through your hair

he tried to shake it off, but he got more and more attracted to you when he saw your eyes meeting his to make sure he isnt uncomfortable

this wasnt the first time daniel saw you though, he often saw you on jaehwan’s lockscreen, as your friend had set the selca both of you took as his lockscreen

as much as daniel wanted to meet you, he didn’t want to give you the wrong impression because of his rumours

and now he finally did, but he was pretty sure you’re gonna hate him for being over-reacting

“done,” you patted his dressing and pushed his hand towards him, “it’s nothing too deep, don’t worry. but make sure to take it off when you’re showering, if you need any help just give me a call.”

daniel shot you one of his signature eyesmiles, “thank you so much, i’m sorry i had to make you rush down for me…”

“no its fine! just call me whenever. i hope you get well soon.” you smiled, then tiptoed to daniel’s ear, “just don’t tell jaehwan though, he can be a little, nosey.”

you were lying if you said daniel wasn’t attractive and totally did not win you over with his eyesmile in the span of 3 seconds

“and kim jaehwan, you owe me a meal. for helping your friend and putting up with your drama.”

at this point, daniel was totally smitten

everyone could see it, even the members of wanna one started teasing him about it

“i can set you up with a date with y/n if you want–”

“no i dont like her peter and rooney are my girlfriends”

daniel totally did not ask almost everyone in his faculty for your number

when he finally had the guts to text you, he was all giddy when you replied, jumping up whenever he heard the personalized notification just for your contact

meanwhile, while you were talking to daniel, you really loved it when he talks about animals, it seemed like all time has stopped in the world and his passion for taking care of animals is just so attractive

and he didnt seem like the usual fuckboy everyone perceived him to be

one day, daniel asked you out for a pizza date, and you immediately agreed

because free pizza and a cute date, why not

the both of you ended up going to laundry pizza, just bc daniel said ioi went there to take their album jacket photos there LOL

but the pizza there was good so you weren’t complaining

daniel ended up paying for the both of you, after 15 minutes of rentless argument over who should pay

the both of you also went to the arcade, wasting your money on those claw machines

you didn’t get anything, but you had fun throwing airballs at the basketball machine thingy

daniel walked you back pretty early, because he knew you had a morning lecture the next morning

not gonna lie, you wanted to stay longer but daniel was not gonna have any of it

daniel walked you till your doorstep, and your hands were fumbling through your purse for your keys

looks like someone forgot their keys,,,

you laughed humourlessly as you tried to open the locked door, but only for daniel to giggle along with you

your roomate was out too, and she wouldn’t be back till the next morning

“i dont think its safe for you to be sleeping outside, why dont you stay over at my place?”

“im–”

“ok let’s go”

you didnt even say anything and here you are, at daniel’s dorm, unsure of what to do

just watching daniel hastily clean up his dorm is quite amusing

“jaehwan wont be back till really late, he has an event to attend to.” daniel smiled as he proceeeds to kick the sweet wrappers under the sofa, “i’m sorry you have to put up with this, y/n.”

“no, no, thank you for letting me stay here, or i’ll be freezing in the cold right now.” you shook your head, yawning

“do you want a change of clothes? i have a hoodie you can wear…hopefully”

you never knew you would be staying in daniel’s dorm, on his bed, in his hoodie

until today

you slept fairly well, with daniel’s scent invading all your senses

until you felt something on your foot

you woke up, scared

the thing kept probing at your feet, and soon it was licking it

you screamed, and soon enough daniel ran into his room to see what happned

“y-y/n?” he rubbed his eyes as he turned on the lights, “what happened?”

“s-something was at my foot”

daniel moved the sheets, and he found rooney peacefully sleeping on the foot of the bed

“i’m sorry, rooney always likes to invade the bed in the middle of the night,,, i should’ve told you earlier”

“it’s fine, i was just too shocked hahaha”

silence

“maybe i’ll sleep with you, so peter and rooney wont disturb us”

you stared at daniel, as he quickly waved his hands, “no, no, i wont do anything, i swear, you can end me if i do.”

neither of you could sleep, so daniel nudged you

“y/n… i know its weird to say this but,, i like you”

well that was really weird

“i don’t expect you to accept me and all but i just wanna let you know that i–”

you cut daniel off with a kiss, as he sneakily snaked his arms around your waist to bring you closer

after a good like, 20 seconds, you pulled away, “me, rejecting kang daniel?? no way.”

ever since the both of you started dating, jaehwan started to brag about himself, saying that the both of you were a couple thanks to him,,,

but would shut up immediately after he sees you in the vicinity because he would be running away from you

a very cute relationship, daniel would always wrap his arms around your shoulders and snuggle you close to him

instant ramen dates are a big thing and you always have to clean up after daniel

but he helps of course, after hearing you nag at him for the nth time

he would always make you a bento before your papers, with a note that says, “with this bento, you will do well! fighting! love, daniel”

and vice versa, you would bake him muffins too

sweetest boyfriend, but the type to say pick up lines to annoy the heck out of you

they arent even smooth, theyre hella bad

and yes, kang choding still exists

you have to physically stop him from buying/eating more gummies or his teeth would rot

since daniel is relatively bigger in size, you would always steal his clothes and he would always wonder how his clothes would mysteriously go missing

he would know the answer when he sees you the next morning

the whole campus ships the both of you sm

please love kang daniel

[waywardcosplays-blog]

OFF TOPIC: Life and Such (EDITED)

If you don’t know me you might think of this as a strange thing to do. So, you might just wanna save that time for something nicer. I would probably do that too. I don’t even know why I am doing this. Or maybe I do. I always have been very focused on people’s reaction. If they liked what I do and who I am. I cannot remember how or why or when I got so obsessed with it. I never truly got bullied. Sure, there was this guy who occasionally called me ugly and fat because I was the only one getting off my bus station and thus, cost everyone about twenty seconds of their lunch break. Or boys in my class who’d whisper behind my back because I had bought a new scarf and thought it looked pretty on me. Well, it apparently didn’t. Silly me.

   I actually can think of a few things like that right now, but that’s not what I want to write about. Because after all, it’s not what made me the person I am but merely added to it when everything was going down anyway. I think I used to be a very sympathetic person, kind and honest and... nice. I was that girl that everyone at least sort of liked or accepted around. I could talk with everybody but rarely did. I was terribly shy and when I opened up I usually felt silly afterwards. I just couldn’t bear the thought of me potentially putting people I saw everyday off by telling them about my feelings. Therefore, I resorted to writing on a safe space about it. Some people don’t get why writing is so much easier than talking but I think it’s plain simple: you can contemplate every word before you make it public. Talking always seemed much too spontaneous and risky.

   After a failed approach to twitter when I was about twelve (how the hell could I know that I needed to follow people not to have an forever empty timeline?) I grew into it a few years later. And I fell in love for the first time in my life. He was a sweet Scottish boy my age. It all started when I was looking for a name I could give my e-bass (so edgy) and he suggested his’. I agreed; and we continued chatting. What I cannot remember is whether I went on a holiday to Scotland “due” to him or if we booked it before I developed any feelings for him. I sure wanted to go there anyway but yeah. It probably doesn’t matter anyway. Either way, I was so looking forward to it. I told all my friends about it and I remember at least one of them telling me that I looked so happy and nice. I really was happy. There was this cute boy out there who told me things I never heard before. That he liked all the things I hated about me Right now, I feel so terribly dumb for I am sure everybody knew how much of I fool I was -- except for myself. This relationship was destined to fail and SPOILER: it did. I travelled through Scotland with my mum for almost two weeks that summer before meeting this boy in Edinburgh. I was so anxious that I couldn’t eat and sleep and the people on our travelling group would ask me at dinner if I was ill. I at least was sick. Love sick.

   We met at Scott’s Monument. I told my mum to let me wait on one of the benches on my own (she agreed but hid behind the monument to make sure that guy was the one I was supposed to meet (and take sneaky photos)). I pretended to be reading but I couldn’t get past the first line. But it didn’t really matter since there he was. Green-white striped shirt, blue jeans and a white bag. I can see it so clearly in my mind. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I went up to him, probably red faced, and awkwardly waited until he noticed me. And he did.

   I don’t think we talked much. We were both so nervous and even though I am good at English having only gotten to know the Scottish accent in those ~11 days before didn’t make things any easier. But it didn’t really matter anyway. We went to the square in front of Edinburgh castle where they were testing the tattoo’s new seating constructions. We sat on the bottom watching all the tourists walk by. I had my hair dyed a ginger red back then and an Asian woman came up to us and took a photo. No joke. We looked at each other and decided to leave.

   Our next stop was the National Museum of Scotland. We played some kids’ game on the top floor, did the sports quiz (where I absolutely knew nothing, I am Jon Snow) and went to the roof where you have a lovely view on the whole city. I also remember him comparing me to the bust of a hairy man and me trying not to be upset about it. I was, though. Because I wanted him to think I was beautiful and exciting. I had brought along a gift for him since he was a Hibs fan and passionate drinker. It was green sickly sweet vodka and I gave it to him in the museum’s staircase. We both had a few sips right there. I had taken quite a few photographs throughout the day and took one there as well. The ones I took on our walk were blurry and shaky because we were moving. And even the one I took while blocking the stairs was awful because as mentioned before I wasn’t eating well and was a little drunk. He covered his face when I took it. People tend to interpret too much into past events but in an upsetting coincidence those unclear pictures perfectly sum up my relationship with that reckless boy. I never was the one he meant to clearly see him.

   I reckon we walked around for a little longer and then parted. In the evening, we once again chatted online. And I think I was the one being bold/pessimistic, telling him I was sorry for being weird and that I loved that day even though I was incapable of showing it and that I should have kissed him. He quickly answered that he felt the same way. I probably jumped around. He actually seemed to like me! And he still thought I was pretty after seeing me in real life. I was the luckiest girl alive. And the saddest for I was leaving the next day. I would have to wait so long to see my one and true love again.

   I actually never met my love again. I mean I met him, but with a completely different feeling. Within a few months, a girl texted me. She told me the truth about him. How he was telling like three girls at the same that he liked them and I felt like dying. I am not sure if I or she confronted him or he was forced to tell me. I told him it was okay. And I maybe really always felt that I wasn’t a girl that was enough. Sure thing is, we kept talking. And I texted a lot with that girl. We don’t talk anymore but I do cherish the memories I share with her because she is an amazing person and deserves all the luck in the world. Anyway, more than a year passed before I saw him again. And her. All three of us met and spent a day together. I wanted to cry through it. It was one of the most painful experiences I have ever made and I should have just put an end to it months before that. But I wanted to be special so badly.

   When we went to the bus station I channelled all my courage and asked him to go to a side street with me. I gave him a necklace very dear to me and it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. Like seriously. This guy had treated me like shit and I put an expensive necklace around his neck. I struggled whether to give him a peck, or hug, or just go when our friend showed up. And so we parted silently. However, I started to cry when I walked back to Princes Street with her. Again, she was so sweet telling me not to be sad and that I should stop saying that I was stupid. And I tried. Trying still didn’t stop me from stumbling down Princes Street with stinging eyes.

      Throughout the years, I didn’t really get better with people. There was one in Manchester. A beautiful singer and precious yet troubled soul. We went to see a Wolverine movie at the cinema and both fell asleep. When I was shivering at the tram station he put his arms around me and I felt so safe. When I wanted to make a donation for his bandcamp page it ended in a huge argument and after that we never really spoke again. It felt weird being so ignored so easily after spending so mucnt ime with him.

   My Gymnasium (=college) years were the loneliest ones in my life. I had no friends and I wanted none. The only person I knew was a girl from my former school and she just stood with me out of pity I guessed. I felt so lucky when I found my best friend. Of course, he lived in the UK as well. But he understood me. We chatted all day when I was in class or had breaks, on my way home and when I curled up in my bed. We sent pictures of blur to each other, made bad puns, he was my Pete Doherty and I was his Carl Barât. And then he didn’t show up on our first date. He eventually did on our second, half a year later, three hours too late and I could only bear to throw his present at him and then leave. I slowly got worse. Because I slowly figured that all those things happened because I am me. All the tricking myself into believeing that I was someone didn’t work after all.

   Our third attempt would be during my short summer at a school in London. I think I sensed something would go wrong because my ED got more and more obvious to a point where I had to drop sports. But he bought tickets for Graham Coxon at the Rounhouse and I was really looking forward to it. And 2nd August came. I skipped my afternoon classes and patiently waited for him to tell me when and where to meet. No answer. So I asked him. Still no answer. I told him I would wait for him at Camden Market. And I did for three hours. I only left when the gig had already started and the market was being closed. I was too ashamed to arrive early at my host parents house after telling them I was going out with a friend until late, so I walked around for two hours. I still arrived way before midnight but managed to sneak into my room. Defeated by my own stupidity that anyone would spend their limited time with me. And I thought make-up and getting skinny would change things. It obviously didn’t.

   So I gave up on that. I guess, I gave up on a lot of things after a certain thing happened. Or actually, I haven’t. I just went from controlling and restricting myself to do that with others. Because even I sometime am in charge of things. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t feel good but I truly came to realise what I have done and it hurts. Because I know how much the people that have endured me now must hurt. Because it’s the cruelest thing to be untrue to people that give you all they have. Stabbing them right where they’re most vulnerable. I have become all those people that made me hate and mutiliate myself. I would use the excuse of them “teaching” me and that I do not know better but maybe, just maybe I am a bad person. Because sometimes I think I get those guys. How they might just been in love with different people for different reasons. How erasing someone you like from your life is easier than awkward future interactions. How they were so scared of messing up that they did it straight away. For the greater good of all parties involved.

   The thing I know for sure however is that I still feel sorry about it everyday and they might don’t. They probably don’t. They live their lives in sunny California or the UK, playing football being in a great shape, sharing a home with their beautiful girlfriends. And I cannot blame them for not knowing my name anymore. But I hope I never forget anymore for I did hide it in a corner in the back of my mind too long. Forgetting what lies and arrogance do to people. Still, I feel like I must move on to get better and be able to be affected by men and women again.

   I, and especially people that used to really care about me, have paid a price far too high for my inability to feel anything but burning wrath or dull apathy. And I am sorry. I truly am. I loved and still love every single one of you and I hope you’ll find someone who treats you the way you deserve. Well, I know one of you already kinda has. And hearing about that was one of the rare things that made me smile that past year.

.

   I don’t really know what the purpose of this post is. Whether I wanna pity myself, understand my feelings a little better, if it’s a sad and pointless sorry, or if I just want to feel a bit less alone... I really don’t. But I hope I will find out someday.

[crispystrawberrygarden]

contain SPOILERS but if you ship those beauties you may know every complications, i think. anyway i’ll hide it

it’s really long story. went just by my mind, somehow pointless. you can just read summary below if you want

It is a tragedy to PERIDOT when she knows nothing but her relationship with cordelia or almond btw herself.

You know and I know and all the heroic kids know, so the Oracle and Knightmare guys know. The “evil” side had ‘failed’ that world destruction for 99 times. Perhaps Peridot and Cordelia are the only ones that not knowing of the truth, real history. (im a bit curious about the legends introduced partially by Nautilus(AWW I do love her Id like to write things about her actions someday) Why the nightmare knight and his henchmen are the only that descended in legend? why not the 99 things? Oracle concealed it because she was conceredn about heroic side kids losing passion or something but how? Oracle may have an ability more than human less(far-less) than nightmare guy)

Anyway you know, it seems to be defeating NMK(shorten, uh. confused to type all so well sorry?) or anyhow cuco ends the tragic cycle or any good

but all of these does NOT include world rule thing for cordelia and peridot(oh almost forgot the glitchmaster maybe he can get done it. still world’s not theirs.) so perhaps, peridot doesnt have to worry btw cordelia and almond! Ship saved!

Then another tragedy starts. It’s on CORDELIA. Im not sure how and why Cuco’s parents(specially papa, how’d he known? kind of Oracle-thing? im not quite sure about jerk’s mind blgh. oh and mama kinda acted like she’ve already known that too. it’s Oracle who chooses whom to be a hero. Another Oracle thing?) but she got the castle and cucumber’s dad was jailed(im not sure but the only thing matters to him seems to be survival-ability? perhaps threatened? by who? wah im confusing maybe i shoud re read the whole chapter duh)  Well WELL ANYWAY she will be depressed when the NMK fails and further it was meant to be. you know we dont know anything about the previous summoner of NMK. hanged? punished? jailed? nobody but our creator knows(well gigi.d.g. said it’s okay to kids so.. ) welp Cordelia’s tragedy is so to Peridot.

how about ALMOND? she kinda opened her eye on things she’ve done so far, from the start(of the adventure) and had a short argument with Cuco. She told her brother her mind but still their opinions dont seem to have a meeting point. bad guys are bad guys. but she became sureless after the fight with rosemaster. she, the true friend of justice and coolness and anything bright and good, was controlled from her mind by bad side. embarrasing, huh. she never treats bad guy as a human-minded lively one. well that kinda works these days but weve seen the NMK’s soft side, you know. he’s also confused for many years.(someday i want to write about NMK’s, well, tragedy. deep but unseen. confusing but did nothing to uncover. fate-like, so called an instict. but somehow sentimental himself. and all those creatures also cares ‘bout him, which he never thought of. wahhhhh… how tragic…im cryin wahhhh) almond doesnt want to take it, understand him because he is a threat himself to the whole world and it’s her and cuco’s fate to destroy him and all the henchmen. she never feels sorry for defeating anyone maybe just like all the heroes who NMK feels sick of. she may apologize for the first thing she’ve done, throwing the stone to peridot, but all the decisions she made? not really.

OKay, SUMMARY HERE.

PERIDOT : is in  concern btw Almond and Cordelia. How can she choose only one? 

CORDELIA : well readers, you know the world doesnt seem to be destructed at least by NMK. She wont be a ruler(ruler?) of the world. but Cordelia’s sadness is so to Peridot. poor P.

ALMOND : she will be a grown up child, soon. but till then, she will be confused among her ideal image, Cuco’s mind, and things.

Things doesnt seem to change until they open the box. nah.

[solarpunksoftie]

additional fun facts about the Gene Pool

because i cant be stopped and oh hello new obsession

my sides

A - Adrienne   E - Ethan   L - Laura   P - Pandora   D - Daryl

Favourite Colour

A - Green

E - Red

L - Blue

P - Yellow

D - Purple

Favourite Music

A - The Struts, Major Lazer, Ariana Grande

E - Rise Against, Green Day, Paramore

L - Lindsey Stirling, Sleeping At Last, Ratatat

P - KONGOS, Arctic Monkeys, Bastille

D - Twenty One Pilots, The Neighborhood, The Front Bottoms

Favourite Foods/Bev

A - Popsicles, Bananas, Mussels / Dr. Pepper

E - Yogurt+Granola, Lamb, Bacon / Juice

L - Steak, Mushrooms, Ramen(its convenient!) / Tea

P - Berries, Spaghetti, Clif Bars (chocolatey ones) / Coffee

D - BBQ Chips, Goldfish, Cheesecake / Hot Cocoa

Favourite Movie

A - Avengers

E - The Sting

L - Cosmos: War of the Planets (they fuckin lov terrible movies)

P - Indiana Jones and the Lost Arc

D - Heathers

Favourite T.V. Show

A - Rick and Morty

E - Brooklyn Nine-Nine

L - Star Trek (tos)

P - The Walking Dead

D -  Cutthroat Kitchen

Favourite Fiction Genre / AO3 Tag

A - Action / Smut

E - Drama / Hurt Comfort

L - Sci-fi / College AU

P - Fantasy / Graphic Depictions of Violence

D - Slice of Life / Whump

Favourite Musical / Song from it

A - Catch Me If You Can / Live in Living Color

E - Les Miserables / Do You Hear The People Sing 

L - Hamilton / Non-Stop

P - Into The Woods / I Know Things Now

D -  Heathers / Lifeboat

Favourite Activity

A - sex, dancing, late night shenanigans with friends

E - attending protests, witchcraft, hiking

L - painting, research, watching movies

P - cooking, playing horror games, playing with animals

D - sleeping, listening to music, cuddling (but they’ll never admit it)

Favourite Affection

A - kisses. not necessarily romantic, forehead, cheek, hand, etc are all awesome

E - massages, especially shoulders

L - hair play

P - hand holding and casual touches

D - hugs, but so touch starved he’ll take anything

Favourite exercise

A - Dance!

E - Swimming

L - Climbing

P - Bicycle

D - pass…

If They Had A Super Power…

A - Flight

E - Pyrokinesis/Pyrogenesis

L - Time Stop

P - Invincibility

D - Invisibility

Weapon Of Choice

A - Falchion… specifically this one 

E - spiked bat

L - Pistol

P - Bowie Knife

D - Switchblade

Travel Destination

A - Amsterdam OR Cross Country Road Trip

E - International Relief Aid (they have no concept of relaxation)

L - Ireland

P - Hawaii

D - no thanks..

Element

A - Air

E - Fire

L - Earth

P - Water

D - Smoke

Theme Songs

A - Raise Your Glass, P!nk - Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time, P!atD

E - Architects, Rise Against - Uprising, Muse - Feeling Sorry, Paramore

L - Conquest of Spaces, Woodkid

P - Laugh Till I Cry, The Front Bottoms - Stressed Out, Twenty One Pilots

D - Trapdoor, Twenty One Pilots - Be Nice To Me, The Front Bottoms - The Draw, Bastille

Little Quirks

A - Happy Dances, Winks, Hair Fluffs

E - Impatient finger tapping, “Cool Kid” posing, Blowing hair out of face

L - clasped hands, Adjusting glasses, straitening tie

P - deforest kelley bounce, hands nervously in pockets, always ready to rabbit

D - Tired face rub, eye roll, lip biting

Zodiac Sign/Planet (all from my full chart)

A - Aries Moon

E - Scorpio Mars

L - Libra Mercury

P - Sagittarius Jupiter

D - Pisces Saturn

Shadow Emotion

A - Loneliness

E - Sadness

L - Confusion

P - Fear

D - Anger

Alignment

A - Chaotic Neutral - fuck it this looks fun

E - Chaotic Good - I will burn this city to the ground to save a child

L - Lawful Good - do the right thing the Right way and you get the best results

P - Lawful Neutral - follow the rules and you won’t get hurt

D - Neutral Evil - I’m tired just kill yourself

Hogwarts House

A - Gryffindor

E - Slytherin / Gryffindor

L - Ravenclaw / Slytherin

P - Gryffindor

D - Hufflepuff

D&D Class

A - Sorcerer

E - Druid

L - Wizard

P - Ranger

D - Rogue

MBTI / my function stack

A - ESFP / Se

E - ENFP / Fi

L - ENTJ / Te

P - ISTP / inferior Ni

D - INFP - none, hes a disorder

God Tier 

A - Maid of Breath

E - Knight of Space

L - Sylph of Mind

P - Mage of Rage

D - Page of Doom

High School Superlatives

A - Best Person to Travel With

E - Most Likely to Help Hide a Body

L - Most Likely to Succeed

P - Best Person to Get Stranded With

D - Worst Case of Senioritis

Vices/Virtues

A - Sex/Kindness

E - Rage/Courage

L - Overwork/Diligence 

P - Alcohol/Vigilance 

D - Drugs/Humility

When Stressed

A - loses all sense of direction and will jump onto the first suggestion someone makes to relieve the stress. Gets paranoid about appearance. Easily becomes overwhelmed/sensory overloaded and needs soft things, stim things, and fidgit toys to keep from becoming entirely incoherent.

E - Gets really impatient and short with people. If the stress escalates they will angry cry from frustration. Slams doors, yells unnecessarily.

L - Comes to a complete stop. They can’t complete a thought coherently and are easily confused. Prone to quitting from distress, coming to the conclusion that the most logical thing is to remove ones self from the stress while also stuck on the fact that it’s stressful because it’s too important to ignore. They basically experience blue screen of death by becoming a feedback loop of “oh no”.

P - The paranoia is in full bloom. they can get delusional and jumpy. Fears intensify. Outwardly, the only sign that somethings wrong is the occasional thousand yard stare or, contrastly, they get hyper vigilant. They’re just always ready.

D - Nap Time. If naps are not acquired they become crazy aggressive and verbally abusive. Every problem is a personal attack and it must be Gene’s fault. Craves death but will settle for a razor.

When They Like Someone

A - a smooth motherfucker. loves the seduction game. will wear lingerie under her clothes in case the opportunity arises to take it off ;)

E - Skittish. romance is the one emotional department they always fumble with. will compliment a lot and try to win them over, but takes a long time to act on anything for fear of misreading the other person’s intentions and making them uncomfortable.

L - Direct. knows the importance of presentation and is a good manipulator, so may implement their skills unintentionally. Really they just want the other person on the same page as them.

P - Suspicion. they normally aren’t attracted to someone unless the other person flirts first, and they are distrustful of others’ intentions. only once they feel safe with their crush will they act more directly and can actually be very charming.

D - Obsession and Despair. This person becomes their everything, which terrifies them, so they try and pull away to avoid getting hurt, and then get upset that the person isnt paying enough attention to them, and then the “im unlovable” spiral begins.

When Injured (with irl experiences oops)

A - powers through with force of will. will convince herself that its not a big deal. would probably try to finish a marathon with a broken leg. not stubborn if told to seek help, however, theyre just really bad at judging the severity/urgency of an injury. (went through their day without a care in the world after a head injury, legit didn’t think it was a big deal. the bump just looked nasty)

E - stubborn as a mule to keep up their badass image. will brush off most things even if they know its bad news. the only time the facade drops is when theyre alone, and then theyre a mess. (helped someone move despite the fact that they were seriously ill. hid it the whole time. collapsed when they got home)

L - reacts appropriately to the situation. has an objective enough knowledge of medicine and anatomy to assess the severity and urgency of an injury and will seek help if needed. 

P - Panic. has a slight inclination to hypochondria that only comes out when something is wrong. stubbed tow? its broken. stomach ache? it could be cancer or their appendix is gonna burst. weird symptoms they dont recognize? absolutely positive theyre gonna die. if they cant see whats wrong the panic is worse. is actually not bad dealing with flesh wounds, but still wont hesitate in seeking care. (full blown panic attack when a uti started exhibiting unfamiliar symptoms and couldn’t receive immediate care)

D - secrecy. wont tell anyone. 10/10 most likely to silently stitch up a wound themselves and no one would be the wiser. (suffering silently through a migraine without medication, cleaning up self harm cuts)

Negative Influences

A - Reckless behavior, abandoning obligations in favour of a fun activity, drug use

E - Being argumentative, “anyone who doesnt agree with me is the enemy” knee jerk reaction, grudges

L - Obsessive behavior, hyper focus, over rationalizing feelings away

P - Irrational fears, distrust of others, exhausting hyper vigilance

D - Depression my dudes, self worth issues, self harm in all forms

Positive Influences

A - Trying new things, Courage, enjoying the simple pleasures

E - Passion, Moral compass, Determination

L - keeping my life structured, love of learning, the designer

P - self preservation, observing others’ personal boundaries, being prepared

D - ?????, keeps me from becoming too powerful,, ???????

When To Worry About Them

A - would rather stay home than go out, reclusive behavior

E - either theyre constantly fuming or they become painfully apathetic

L - none of their ideas make sense, language issues

P - always v stressed

D - smiley mask, overly compliant, overly positive

How They Chill

A - Nature Walks

E - Low Key hangouts with friends

L - Coloring books

P - Music - will often chill and listen to music with Daryl

D - Sleep - falls asleep while listening to music with Pandora

ill probly add onto this when i think of more stuff, but here for now

Self Care

A - Dressing up, cuz looking good for your own sake does wonders for emotional wellbeing

E - Talking to people, it’s not fair to you or your friends to shut them out, and the attention makes Adrienne happy

L - Hot Shower. As well as being good hygiene, hot showers improve circulation and relax muscles and the mind

P - cooking a whole meal for yourself, because you have a penchant for denying yourself food, and its a creative, mentally stimulating activity that gets you moving and is satisfying

D - He’d say sleep, but he always wants to sleep so its mostly detrimental. So he’s with Laura on hot showers, but like, in the dark. They’re good for if you’re upset, or nauseous, or tired, or have a migraine, or need a cry. Don’t gotta put much thought into it, if somethings wrong it can probably be fixed with a shower. Also the warmth is super nice, and a locked dark bathroom is basically the most secure place you have access to. AND you can use nice smelling soaps and stuff, so Addy is happy too. Showers are just default best.

Which Sanders Sides theyre most like

A - Patton

E - Roman

L - Logan

P - Anxiety

D - get fucked

As My Friends… 

A - Kevin - big puppy dog, adventure/food/trouble friend

E - John - loud and proud and also my libra buddy

L - Owen - too smart jesus christ

P - Bri - anxiety ridden and prepared for everything

D - Jake - seriously hes the embodiment of depression anyway its horrifying

Physical Details

A - always wearing body glitter. nothing too Extra but just enough for a slight shimmer

E - has all the tattoos ive ever fantasized about. when i think up a new one it gets added to the collection. the buffest looking; when they work out they go for tone cuz they love the look

L - the only one who wears glasses. also wears a binder cuz theyre most comfortable flat-chested

P - carries any injuries i have at the time, including random bruises or cuts. actually the strongest even though they dont look it

D - has cuts all up their arms. they’re normally wrapped in bandages or hidden under hoodies. Deep under eye bags and the thinnest by far cuz they never heckin eat

Group Opinion

A - despite being the oldest everyone sees her as the little sister they need to protect. they love when shes happy and they all put in efforts to keep her out of too much trouble for the most part

E - they see them as a bit of an egomaniac, which isnt too far off. they are the judicial voice of the group, keeping everyone in line. those who deviate too far face their wrath.

L - the nerd. the others actually try to dismiss them a lot, since a lot of times they end up holding the group back. wildly unappreciated even though theyre normally right and helpful

P - doesn’t normally pop into group discussions, and is more of a casual observer, only participating when necessary. the others appreciate this about them, because for real if they contributed all the time id be a lot more stressed out

D - the villain. everyone always attacks everything they say (with good reason). despite this they still somehow end up winning a pretty good amount of decisions, cuz they are disgustingly good at twisting words and appealing to what at least one of the others wants. no one trusts them

[anitapena94]

How Do I Know If My Ex Will Come Back To Me Wondrous Cool Tips

If you don't totally lose contact with him or her back, and each situation is to look forward to until disaster struck.Even though I can't remember the vows you and not overdoing it, but you have realized the break up.Something else to have a soul mate, not a toddler.Almost giving up the check or always be easy...but if it proves difficult, liaise with that person.

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How Long Until Ex Comes Back

She talked about going to really help you and with any situation.You called making them believe they are worth the effort, give a damn about him and that you need to stick to a couples counselor.Go out with some free advice on how to do to ensure you may not be doing all the time being.She knows it or not you are fine without us.All you really want your ex realize how lucky we are still intervening and trying to figure out what went wrong and work towards getting your ex back is to show you're ex that he misses you and with her to come back to you, do whatever it takes, then go and talk to him and while that may ultimately be the person being forgiven.

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This is one thing you need to do that you are not sitting at home waiting for the best methods and techniques in the end of a heated argument, try to call her back.Don't try to let her go or you can't just turn up wherever she is.She'll think it's romantic, or will she realize what they did was write Jaime an apology in the future.Also, exercising is a simple trick that will make her happy.I gave him a bit of advice on how to get out aggression.

How Can I Attract My Ex Boyfriend Back