#How To Get My Stubborn Ex Boyfriend B

[hanahaki-disease]

Beyond the Farthest Reaches

Hell or High Water - Percy Jackson/DC Crossover

“Robin? Yes, but also No”

Summary:

Being Robin was big shoes to fill, it’s a good thing he has his own pair and that its temporary.

Set after “And You Wonder What I Believe”

**********************************

Tim is sick. Point blank. No sugar coating it. Tim was sick with the flu and pneumonia and looked like Thanatos himself farted on him.

Percy grimaced when another round of coughs racked through Tim’s weak body, trying to keep his lunch from running back up. Honestly he wanted to help Tim get better. He wanted to play nurse like he was used to and make sure he got the fluids he needed, but he kind of forgot that with the flu came nausea and vomiting. Percy can handle a lot of gross things, he kinda has to if he wanted to be Alfred’s medical assistant. But removing bullets from bodies and resetting limbs and snapping broken feet back into place was a whole different ball park.

“Perce,” Tim croaked. His voice rough and scratchy from the abuse his bile did against his vocal chords. If he could heal illnesses with his power, Percy would have done it yesterday, but it seems even his powers have limits. “You haf’ta be—” he paused, gaged, and steadied his breathing. “be Robin for patrol.”

“B can go without Robin for a few nights, ducky,” Percy adjusted the tightness of his mask around his face. He was not getting sick. No thank you. Demigods and sickness do not mesh well together. “He’s a big boy, he can play pretend by himself.”

He didn’t know if it was because of Tim’s stubbornness or the delirium, but the kid shook his head. “Plan needs Bobin…haf’ta go.” His hazy eyes fluttered shut. “Use…use my suit.” Aaand he was out. Mouth open, drool already beginning to build up and his nose wheezing with each congested breath.

Yeeahh, no. Percy not going to use the sick-kids suit when he already has a suit himself. But as Percy closed the door behind him, discarding the mask and gloves in the disposal bin by the door, he wondered if Bruce actually needed a Robin for patrol tonight. Did he need the extra set of hands by his side and fighting along side him? Did he need another set of eyes to analyze and decipher whatever mystery that he and Tim had been working on?

A part of him was excited to be Robin, if only for a night. Yes, he’s told himself that he didn’t want to be Robin. That it was only for Jason and Dick and Tim, he found his excitement in the life of a demigod and was content to play the role of backup and medic. So then why had he designed his own suit? Better yet, why did Bruce agree to make it for him?

“B!” Percy jumped off the side of the stairs, skipping five steps, and scanning the cave for his dad. They were getting better, he liked to think. Some days were easier than others and some were like how it had been before Jason’s death. Percy felt like today was a good day (except for the fact that Tim was upstairs inches from deaths’ door.)

“Yes, pearl?” Bruce answered and he had to hold back a sigh. Diana had called him that when he was little, claiming Percy was too precious and that he should be protected like a pearl. It didn’t take long for Bruce to agree and soon both of them had called him by the nickname, though Diana had stopped shortly after he turned twelve and he didn’t quite know why.

“Ducky said you needed a Robin for patrol tonight,” he said, walking over to the garage where his dad was.

“I do,” Bruce wiped away his sweat. “I needed him to crawl through an air vent to try and get the plans Dent has against Sionis.”

“Dent? As in, your ex-boyfriend Dent? The one from high sch—” Bruce tossed his dirty rag and hit Percy in the face, cutting him off. “Ew! That’s gross, dad! Yuck!”

“But, yes, that Dent,” Bruce chuckled. “Tim was supposed to get it while I created a diversion. I’d do it another time, but Harvey leaves town tomorrow with those plans.”

Percy kicked his feet from where he sat on the tool table beside Bruce. “What if…” he scratched at his neck, “What if I was Robin for tonight? Since Tim is sick and everything.”

Bruce turned to look at him, concern laced his features because he, too, knew that Percy never had an interest being Robin before. His dad seemed to think about it for a bit before answering. Percy knew that if he put on the suit, any variation of it, he’d look a little too much like Jason. The mask would sit over his eyes the same way and the cape would hang over his shoulders just like Jason’s suit had done for him.

And maybe Bruce thought he was ready to see Percy in the suit, if only for a night. He had gotten over the drinking (which Percy didn’t even know he had done) and allowed Tim to be Robin, to bear the same name as Jason. But was he ready for Percy? For his youngest?

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to, son,” Bruce said setting down his tools. Percy only nodded his head. No turning back now. “Alright. Suit up. We leave in thirty.”

Percy didn’t need to be told twice. He leapt off the table, making a few tools crash to the floor, a made a beeline for his locker. Did he need a locker? Not really, he didn’t have a suit nor did he go out on patrol—at least that’s what Bruce knew.

There were a few times since his return that first summer that his restlessness had gotten worse. He couldn’t sit still in the cave anymore, and no amount of going through Dick’s high bars or going against the hologram training was going to settle his bones. He needed to run. To sprint and dodge and maybe stop a mugging or two while Bruce and Tim were out doing Bruce and Tim things. So with Alfred’s help, Percy had his own “uniform” to wear while he went out. Armored, camouflaged, and with at least three trackers sewn into it to make sure he was safe, Percy was ready to go out and kick ass.

He didn’t have to wear that suit tonight, thankfully, it was getting a little tight. But the Robin version of that suit fit perfectly, and Percy couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his lips when he saw it. Compared to the three previous Robins, his suit was different. He stole the idea of green pants from Tim, as well as the two sided cape so he’ll have to thank him for that when he’s not actively dying.

He slipped on the green gauntlets as he ran to catch up with Bruce, mask being the first thing he had put on. Percy smiled as he skirted to a stop, “Ready.”

After living with Bruce for most of his life, he’s gotten pretty good at noticing the small twitches and silent body language the man shows off. A tightened jaw mean he was angry or frustrated, a slight movement of his jaw was him trying not to smile or laugh. A twitch of the eyebrow was him trying to not let his frown, be that of grief or of disappointment, show. Percy had money that it was the former, but he knew why he had that reaction because Percy had the same one in the mirror.

Bruce didn’t let the frown show, he simply slipped on the cowl, letting the Batman take over, and nodded. “Let’s go.”

**********************************

I am a firm believer that Bruce and Harvey dated their junior year, broke up, but were a little too close for comfort with each other after wards that it was hard to tell if they were or weren’t together

Also—I may or may not have my own Robin!Percy design floating around some note books and sticky notes on my desk. Let me know if you’re interested at all in those, but I’ll warn you now that I am Not The Best™

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

[alchemistc]

Please be aware I am two screening this bitch, I haven't pulled out my second screen since I quit my desk job.

"He's like a one-man Suicide Squad."

When I tell you I've never heard a more accurate description of Evan Buckley IN MY LIFE.

they watch as Vincent Gerrard uses the distraction of B Shift heading home to duck behind one of the engines a grinning demon rounds the corner and makes a bee-line for him

This is what I'm picturing in this moment:

"So, which one of you said 'spreadsheet' three times in a mirror?"

WHY IS RAVI THE FUNNIEST PERSON ALIVE

"He's everywhere, always, just waiting for you to slip up."

Eddie your latent Catholicism is showing

It's the only clipboard that has ever fucked.

Yeah actually YOU are the funniest person who has ever existed I cannot describe the wheeze I wheezed but both of my tiny dogs and my very large boyfriend were legitimately concerned I was going to stop breathing when I read this.

Tommy had pulled it out of a bag and presented it on one knee like he was proposing, or bestowing a sword to a king. The entire brewery was then given front-row seats to an intense game of tonsil hockey that nearly went into overtime until Eddie threatened to call Athena because Bobby looked like he was seriously reconsidering sobriety

The freak4freak agenda is real

T.K. 07:27am: I'm offering 3 nights of free babysitting to the first person who delivers

Not Tommy offering up free babysitting KNOWING that what Clipboard Buck does for him, "Uncle Tommy" does for Buck, OH YOU NASTY THOMAS KINARD

Tommy's typing indicator appears, then disappears. Then appears and disappears again. Then appears—

Me: Oh they're perfect for each other. Chim, .5 seconds later:

"Those two were made in a lab for each other, I swear to god."

And now I'm emotional and also losing my shit with laughter.

"Don't worry, Melanie! This is something to bring up during Thursday's workplace conflict seminar."

Evan Buckley no one is doing it like you.

"[...]Just need you to sign off on everything. Sir."

Yeah Tommy isn't the only one getting something out of this. Hot damn Buckley.

If he sees his shadow on the firehouse wall, it's 6 more hours of bullshit.

STFU I'm so obsessed with your turns of phrase and the complete irreverence of your humor, I want to shove you into a wall and gently forehead kiss you. Consensually.

"Three nights of free babysitting? I'm not proud."

Lies, Hen, you know this is gonna get Buck laid, and then Tommy laid, this is mutually beneficial for ALL THREE OF YOU.

Buck looks up, flashes a grin, and the second he clocks the phone he salutes it with the clipboard.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall the day Buck realizes his completely uncontrollable Control Freak double identity is a turn on for his boyfriend and he realizes he can weaponize it for good AND evil.

"I'm not a probie anymore," Ravi whines. "You can't haze me like this."

Baby boy you signed on to work with the biggest team of gentle bullies this side of the Rockies, you'd better get used to this shit.

"You do this and I'll make sure you're not sitting anywhere near Buck and Tommy when Taylor drops the bomb about Gerrard and Ortiz."

Absolutely fucking obsessed with how every single one of them has come to accept that their two weirdo friends are just so DOWN BAD for each other that they will inevitably horn it up in public for increasingly batshit reasons.

'Oh, Buck's ex who they enlisted in secret and who probably spent a month in Buck's kitchen red-stringing tentative leads while they eye-fucked each other is about to get their hateful boss fired? Yeah they're gonna make out about it shamelessly in the middle of Hen's kitchen.'

(Karen has a spray bottle labelled "Improbable Kink Stopper" literally just for Buck and Tommy)

I swear to fucking god I want to make out with your brain.

I'm also gonna blame you for my cough acting up again but it's possible I laughed so hard I actually dislodged some stubborn mucus so thank you, maybe?

Return of the Mack

For @alchemistc. Hope you feel better soon!

At the fire academy, three things are beaten out of every trainee: fear, a normal sleep schedule, and the social influences that prevent one from intervening in the event of an emergency. Some have jokingly called the third one the Anti-Bystander Effect, because if someone needs assistance—whether it's to stop an assault, run into a burning building, or help a little old lady find a quarter she dropped—a firefighter will immediately rush in to save the day. It's a special brand of classical conditioning that instills an elevated sense of responsibility in every trainee, and it's paid in full by the state of California.

Which is why it's so odd for there to be three capable firefighters standing around doing nothing while there's an old man clearly in need of dire assistance. If the LAFD higher-ups knew they were actively choosing to watch the carnage unfold instead of lifting a finger to help, they'd all be shitcanned. 

Luckily, there's a fourth firefighter on the scene doing the absolute most. 

"I thought we made a pact to keep him from using his powers for evil," Eddie says, taking a dispassionate sip of his coffee. 

"Is it evil if he's actually using them in service of a greater good?" Hen's attention is half on what's going down and half on the Notes app on her phone, where she's typing out the week's grocery list. "You know, the enemy of my enemy is my friend?"

Draped over the railing like his bones have melted, Chimney gives a sage nod. "He's like a one-man Suicide Squad." 

In the apparatus bay, they watch as Vincent Gerrard uses the distraction of B Shift heading home to duck behind one of the engines, most likely to regroup after being thoroughly ambushed the second he stepped into the station five minutes ago. He slumps back and breathes. The moment of weakness costs him: a grinning demon rounds the corner and makes a bee-line for him as though he can taste blood in the air.

"So, which one of you said 'spreadsheet' three times in a mirror?" Ravi sidles up next to Chimney and unwraps a breakfast burrito from Delia's. 

Chimney gives him the stink-eye. "I hope you brought enough for the whole class."

"Nope," Ravi says, taking a cheerful bite.

"None of us summoned him," Eddie says. He leans down to try and catch the conversation being had, but he's too high up. For a second, he thinks he hears the words 'crack whore' but it's probably a trick of the bay's acoustics. "He's everywhere, always, just waiting for you to slip up."

"Like the Devil," Hen says in agreement.

"Or Santa," Chimney adds.

Ravi chews thoughtfully. "I thought we threw out all the clipboards. Who gave him that one?"

"Tommy," Eddie, Hen, and Chimney say through a simultaneous, long-suffering sigh. 

It's not just any clipboard. It's the king of clipboards. It's the only clipboard that has ever fucked. The thing is a navy blue polycarbonate beast with "Buckley 118" embossed in fire engine red on the back, and the clip looks like it was forged in the fires of Staples HQ. 

At the bi-weekly Beer and Bitch Night last Friday at Golden Road Pub, Tommy had pulled it out of a bag and presented it on one knee like he was proposing, or bestowing a sword to a king. The entire brewery was then given front-row seats to an intense game of tonsil hockey that nearly went into overtime until Eddie threatened to call Athena because Bobby looked like he was seriously reconsidering sobriety.

"Does he know what he's unleashed?" Ravi sounds genuinely curious. 

As if on cue, Chimney's, Eddie's, and Hen's phones chime with three incoming messages. 

T.K. 07:26am: Has it started? T.K. 07:26am: Remember: you promised one of you would film it T.K. 07:27am: I'm offering 3 nights of free babysitting to the first person who delivers

That last one is followed by a gif of J. Jonah Jameson shouting "Bring me Spiderman!"

Hen frowns down at her phone. "Who the hell is that?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Chimney mutters.

H.W. 07:28am: Why are you so desperate for video?  E.D. 07:28am: What 40-something year old still uses pinky swears? H.H. 07:28am: Clipboard Buck better not be a weird sex thing for you, Kinard

Tommy's typing indicator appears, then disappears. Then appears and disappears again. Then appears—

"Yeah, no." Chimney hastily pockets his phone. "Those two were made in a lab for each other, I swear to god."

Down in the bay, Gerrard has moved to stand almost directly underneath them. While they can't hear what Gerrard says to Melanie Wu, an electrician so talented she could probably take down the entire grid with her eyes closed, that puts such a dour expression on her face, they can hear it when Buck, popping up behind Gerrard like an insane Jack-in-the-box, and says, "Don't worry, Melanie! This is something to bring up during Thursday's workplace conflict seminar."

"What seminar?!"

Buck isn't cowed. He taps his clipboard and says, "The one I scheduled with Chief Alonso. You know, the mandatory one we all need to do in order to keep our certification—well, we'll keep it as long as nothing comes up during the seminar that might call into question our ability to do the job."

There's a charged moment where it almost looks like Gerrard might take a swing at Buck, but then he notices the audience hanging above him like a Greek chorus and shouts, "Someone'd better top off the fuel and DEF or—"

"Already done, Cap." Buck makes a show of turning to the second page on his clipboard and lists off, "All fuel, DEF, oil, and coolant are set. Tires have been aired up. Hoses have been drained and cleaned, and re-rolled. Engines were all waxed yesterday, all medical supplies have been inventoried and stocked, and I've made a list of the harnesses and cutting torches that need replacing. Just need you to sign off on everything. Sir."

The ingratiating smile on Buck's face would fool even the wiliest of senior officers, and Gerrard himself looks like even he's not sure if what just happened was disrespectful, but they know better. 

"Diabolical," Ravi whispers, awed. 

Hissing through his teeth, Gerrard spins on his heel and storms away in the direction of the little office in the administrative section of the firehouse where he's taken to holing up like a miserable groundhog until they get a call that forces him back out. If he sees his shadow on the firehouse wall, it's 6 more hours of bullshit.

As soon as he's gone, all the firefighters that had stopped to watch the show burst into laughter and applause, and Buck cracks up, taking sweeping bows and blowing kisses to his adoring fans. 

Chimney rolls his eyes and looks to see what Hen's expression is doing, because no one gives good face like she does, but she's holding her phone in a way that clearly means—

"You're filming this?" Chimney demands, betrayed.

She gives an unrepentant shrug. "Three nights of free babysitting? I'm not proud."

Buck looks up, flashes a grin, and the second he clocks the phone he salutes it with the clipboard. Then he struts after Gerrard, calling almost lazily, "Cap, wait up! I wanted to talk about setting up a mock exam for everyone who's planning on taking the TCFP D/O!"

They all watch him go. Silently, Hen sends off the video with the air of someone about to make a drug drop. 

"So, when does Taylor Kelly's exposé come out again?" Eddie makes a dubious face in the direction of the administrative offices. "Because I don't know that Gerrard won't off himself before it does."

"We win either way," Chimney points out. 

"It comes out next Monday," Hen says, slipping her phone into her pocket and elbowing Chimney in the arm on her way to the stairs. "Karen and I are hosting a watch party that night and you're all invited."

Ravi beams. "Thanks, Hen. I'll definitely be there."

"And you'll be bringing dinner from Taco Azteca—for everybody. Make sure you get enough carne," Chimney calls over his shoulder as he follows Hen. 

"I'm not a probie anymore," Ravi whines. "You can't haze me like this."

Snickering, Eddie pats him on the shoulder and says, "You do this and I'll make sure you're not sitting anywhere near Buck and Tommy when Taylor drops the bomb about Gerrard and Ortiz."

"Extra al pastor and buche it is!"

[ttodorokiii]

How would yanderes TodoBakuDeku (poly or separate, your wish) react to the reader yelling at someone on the phone? Or being really pissed after she got a letter from someone? You can decide what it can be about

reactions | BNHA

note. hey anon!!! sorry for my VERY LATE RESPONSE, but I just wanted to apologise!!! I hope you don’t mind that I did them separately cuz I don’t have much experience on writing poly!!! 💔💕

warnings: YANDERE, OBSESSION, possess*ve themes, strong language, obsessive themes, verbal fighting.

Shouto:

Shouto tries to be rational with you, he knows what he’s done is so wrong in many many levels but he can’t bring himself to regret it. Though when he first saw your anger filled reaction,..

Shouto knew he had to make it up to you. He had kidnapped you for Gods sake. It was a slow process, but he tried his best.

And the first instinct that came to him was to provide you with your phone back. It was the LEAST he was doing after all.

He had ALOT to make up for….

But now, he was starting to strongly regret it.

“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME, KARINA?!? I-I TRUSTED YOU!”

You were angry, that made Shouto concerned for you… you were a very headstrong person, and that made him so obsessed with you in the first place.

But your anger could be fatal.

He needed to handle this ‘Karina’ on his own… you sounded so heartbroken too…

That made him so unbelievably angry. He will ruin them.

Bakugou:

You were such a stubborn person it infuriated him. Katsuki didn’t want you to go to the door and answer it, he was there, he could do it himself.

Maybe you were just looking for an excuse to get away from him, Katsuki bit the inside of his cheek as he watched you close the door, and turn back to him, looking at a letter of some sort.

Oh.

He watched carefully as your grip on the paper tightened, he could see the way your body tensed as you managed to sit down beside him on the couch.

Your stare never left the paper sheet, “what’s wrong?” Bakugou asked in his gruff tone, staring at you a carefully.

Your tone wavered as you responded, breaking his heart. “I-I’m fired Katsuki…. T-They fired me!” You cried.

Katsuki quirked a brow at that,, a small smile on his lips mirrored one of satisfaction. “I CANNOT B-BELIEVE THIS…” anger laced your tone as he quickly masked his satisfaction, with the mask of anger.

“These stupid fucking people!! I-I was doing my job good! H-How can they! I-I will RUIN THEM!”

He barely stuffed his laugh in. “I told you, princess.”

“FUCK OFF KATSUKI I WILL KILL YOU.”

He laughed so loud at that.

“Don’t take out your frustrations on me, now. You had it coming pfttt.”

Izuku:

He was scared.

“I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT PIECE OF SHIT… AGH YOU WERE RIGHT… I-I can’t believe I trusted him!” You were screaming so loud it made his ears vibrate.

You were crying angrily as the words escaped your mouth, izuku could hear the trembling of your lips as he hid under your bed.

Which was stupid, you could catch him anytime. It wasn’t his fault though, he didn’t know you were coming home early.

“I-I WILL CHOP OFF HIS DICK I SWEAR TO DEAR GOD… fucking son of a bitch!” You kept on cussing your cheating (now) ex boyfriend as you sniffled.

A part of him felt so happy but your saddened him to no end. You didn’t deserved that, no one did… but especially you.

Izuku felt his heart churn with pain. “I-I am so angry, Natasha!” Izuku clenched his fist tightly as he felt a rush of rage flow in his vines.

Someone was going to die tonight.

[mizutori-heiko]

Mizutori’s bakudeku fanfiction master list [complete works]

Really really good writing by these incredible authors. In no particular order! These are all Top!Bakugou and Bottom!Deku. If A/B/O dynamics then it’s Alpha!Bakugou and Omega!Deku. Yes, I have preferences.

Canon World – until 15k

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? by reading_raindrop | 8,303 | Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would.

Oh right, you were a little sh*t by SaysiWrites | 5,653 | When Midoriya Izuku gets hit by an age-reversion Quirk, the last thing anyone expected to find out is that Toddler-Izuku is a little shit. Except for one Bakugou Katsuki, who has seen this phase one too many times already. (Bonus+ the entire Little Sh*t (Kidfic) series)

Do Not Disturb by surveycorpsjean | 10,010 | Apply enough force, and something is bound to break.

And Atlas fell by supercrunch | 15,185 | They move in together, after a while. Katsuki joins Best Jeanist and Izuku trains under Gran Torino. They still take comfort in each other every day, curl up in bed and kiss and talk about how life is going. Their live are tumultuous, after all, what with villains and training and rescuing people every week. It’s nice to have something certain. At the end of a day filled with violence and adrenaline, Izuku knows he can come home to someone concrete. It’s perfect. Being a hero is scary and grueling and uncertain, but this part is just right. And then, one day, a child dies in Izuku’s arms.

be loved by bonnia | 5,403 | The kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands.

Big Protein by Mysecretfanmoments | 13,683 | Bakugou Katsuki has a thriving hero career, an agent to manage his famous attitude, and absolutely zero romantic interest in anyone. With the exception of his favourite health food joint refusing to expand to his city, his life is pretty damn perfect—so why does a viral video revealing Deku's stash of dirty mags involving him and Deku together turn everything upside-down?

Chocolate cake and resin preserved flowers by Anoksun | 11,396 | Izuku loses his memories. Katsuki struggles not to lose Izuku too.

Twin Stars by theperksofbeinglarissa | 8,435 | When Deku saves a woman's life, her quirk is accidentally activated. Her quirk? She reveals a person's soulmate. A star-shaped mark appears on Midoriya's left arm... and on Bakugou's as well. Kirishima is the only one who knows that Bakugou is Midoriya's soulmate, and Bakugou isn't taking the news very well. Can the twin stars of class 1-A work out their differences and find their happy ending?

Unhealthy Fixations by Thesis | 12,522 | Izuku is an adult who knows better than to crush on his childhood bully. AND YET.

Like the Moon by osakakitty | 14,781 | Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.

Worth a Second Shot by cinnabee | 13,080 | Katsuki and Izuku celebrate registering as a Hero Duo together with a big party. What could go wrong?

Like Something Out of A Shoujo Manga by Merrywetherweather | 2,971 | Deku ends up in a rather interesting quirk accident, one that triggers flag events as if he were the protagonist of an otome game.

Canon World – 15k++

Blood Moon by lalazee | 94,860 | The Thank-Fuck-We-Aren’t-Dead Sex had started then, and had never really stopped. Then came the feelings and the fights. The ego, the pride, the jealousy. And then there was Us.

The Way You Used To Do by edema_ruh | 669,463 | During a battle, Midoriya gets hit by a villain whose quirk detaches his soul from his body. Stuck in a ghost-like state, the boy enters a race against time in order to save himself from permanently dying. Much to his luck - or lack of it -, the only person who can see and talk to him in this state is no one other than Kacchan.

Just Like Breathing by MD_Daydreamer | 35,423 | Izuku got engaged. He didn't mind. If that made Uraraka happy, he could do it. He thought his life wouldn't change much.But then, Kacchan went to live in the USA.

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) by vannral | 15,951 | In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

"what's your type?" by sapphicflower | 20,192 | In order to increase their popularity rankings as up and coming pro heroes, Izuku and Katsuki participate in the most popular late night talk show for hero duos - ‘Heroes Rising!’. They’re killing it, obviously, because they know each other from inside and out. Until one question stumps the two of them: “What is your hero partner’s type?”

and it was Just Right by cinnabee | 23,759 | Katsuki spends two years post-graduation in a furious one-sided competition with his childhood friend and rival's promotional photos - until they finally run into each other, and, well. You shouldn't believe everything you see in magazines. A love story about size differences.

Notice Me, Nerd by useless_donut | 40,000 | Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out. A love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A.

in your dreams, nerd! by sapphicflower | 37,639 | In a strange and unexpected set of circumstances, Izuku and Katsuki find themselves sharing their dreams together whenever they happen to fall asleep at the same time. Being hopelessly in love with each other, they don’t mind it all that much. What better way to spend time with your crush than in a stupidly vivid dream?

Hear Me by my_name_is_Levi | 22,419 | It wasn’t as if nightmares were uncommon for the freshman class of Yuuei. They’d seen plenty of things, heard and felt and witnessed enough travesty in their lives to last them a lifetime. But Midoriya Izuku was screaming, and no one, not even Bakugo Katsuki could ignore it.

Bridges by supercrunch | 18,018 | Bakugou is signed up for a Calvin Klein modeling gig. The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart. So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.

objective truth by mamalade | 15,390 | Izuku gets hit with a truth quirk, as one does. He seems to be handling it well—until Katsuki shows up.

catharsis by dollcewrites | 15,071 | It's been six years since Izuku graduated.It's been six years since he confessed to his childhood friend; his classmate and his inspiration. It's been six years since he deleted Bakugou's number, asked his friends not to mention the name, spent every last effort of his heart turning off the TV and averting his eyes from the newspapers. It's been six, long, long years since he gave up on Katsuki Bakugou ever loving him back.

Here here, my friends and me (You are my familia) by Jeka | 128,832 | Bakugou Katsuki has made a great job of ignoring the fact that he is tragically in love with Deku, someone who could never love him like that and let's face it, he doesn't deserve. Now that he can't ignore it anymore, he has to find a way to keep his childhood friend and move on for his own sake. Or so he had thought, maybe he can have Deku, after all. Izuku has everything he always wanted in life. But suddenly he has to navigate the most important relationship in his life through different eyes.

Canon World – Jealous! 

Hands Off by SaysiWrites | 7,140 | When a new girl at school starts flirting with Bakugou, his friends quickly become invested in the idea of their friend experiencing love - even if he doesn't seem at all interested in her. What they don't see is Midoriya fuming in the background. But how can he get rid of her when they've spent so long keeping their relationship a secret?

Surfaces by surveycorpsjean | 25,225 | Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right. As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.

Green-Eyed Beast by SecretKiwi | 4,721 | Everyone wants a piece of Katsuki Bakugou, but they should beware of the Green-eyed beast always lurking close behind him.

Green with Envy by Sol_Morales707 | 2,611 | Izuku Midoriya is not as innocent and pure as everyone thinks he is. The truth was he was very jealous and willing to do anything for a certain blonde.

Happy Camper by Arysa | 7,074 | Wanting a break from the stress of dealing with the rookie Pro Hero grind, a handful of students from Class A decide to go on a camping trip. Izuku's excited to relax and catch up with everyone, especially Kacchan. But, well, Kacchan's... Kacchan. And dating Kirishima.

How to stop time: kiss by Teddingtons | 31,693 | Deku finally asks Uraraka out. Everyone's supportive except Bakugou who can't even look him in the eye. Deku seeks him out after and is hit with truth.

What I Deserve by s_the_queen | 16,671 | When Izuku starts dating a student in General Studies, everyone is happy for him. She's super sweet and really caring. But something doesn't sit right with Katsuki.

Deku's Already Fucking Taken by asdfjkl129 | 20,704 | 5 times people don't realize that Deku is already in a very happy relationship and try their hand at asking him out, and then in Bakugou's unique and special style, get very firmly corrected, +1 time where no correction is needed.

His by sister_elric | 6,206 | Izuku would like to consider himself a pretty level headed individual. Sure, he had the occasional tunnel vision, especially when it came to training. And hero work. And Kacchan. But, overall, Midoriya felt as though he typically kept his cool. Well, maybe that was a stretch. But, at the very least he could understand his own emotions. So, it surprised even him when an unfamiliar emotion coursed through him as a first year approached his boyfriend, Katsuki.

Down the Red Line by MinervaHope | 7,804 | Izuku has been able to see the red strings of fate since birth. It's no surprise that his is connected to Katsuki.

Canon World – Fake Relationship Goes Wrong

how he should’ve known (and how it turned out) by vannral | 43,918 | In which Katsuki and Izuku pretend to be a couple to avoid journalists, the plan backfires magnificently because of course it does, and the act goes on. Includes feelings, pining, domestic fluff and jealousy.

Vicious by feelslikefire | 105,173 | Midoriya and Bakugou wind up in the very last position either of them thought they'd be in: Hero Partners. It's not fun, but they learn to cope. Their first big assignment together takes them undercover to infiltrate a cult, but the situation turns out far more sinister than they first thought.

What I can never tell you by Mikacrispy | 27,067 | After living in the US for 5 years, Izuku returns to take care of a concussed Bakugou who believes they're engaged. Now, Izuku has to pretend he's in a relationship with the man he's loved for most of his life, knowing that it's just a matter of time until Katsuki gets better and realizes it's all a lie.

Not-Dating by MiraChaDoodles | 14,290 | Katsuki takes Deku on a not-date to save his career, only to find himself wishing it were real.

we'll do the things that lovers do by ethereals | 29,544 | Izuku gets an invitation to Shouto's wedding and Katsuki is PISSED that he asks Kirishima to be his date (also he wasn't even fucking invited

Canon World – Friends With Benefits (?) 

Four Times Bakugou Katsuki Doesn't Intend to Sleep With Midoriya Izuku (And the One Time that He Does) by fallingraine85 | 17,601 | He hadn’t planned for any of this. He isn’t about to go delving into the ball of yarn that is Midoriya Izuku’s heart; he isn’t equipped to try and untangle and make sense of it all. He isn’t about to try to analyze how he’s feeling about all of this, either.... How many times can you repeat the same mistake?

We Wear Chains on the Weekend by surveycorpsjean | 35,086 | Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare."Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways. Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.

Just for Now by Shiro_Kabocha | 48,135 | Katsuki's parents are out of town over a school break and to keep him from getting up to any shenanigans, they ask Izuku to house sit with him. What are two teenaged boys to do when left alone to their own devices? (Bonus+ the entire Just for Love series)

safe in the darkness by yoonskisses | 20,855 | Izuku and Katsuki had been meeting up secretly for months, with absolutely no feelings involved. Or so Katsuki thought at least. The dorm gossip about Ochaco and Izuku's new relationship seemed to set a spanner in the works for their arrangement.

Alternative Universe – No Quirks

Bluebird by EtherealBeing | 53,108 | Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact. However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.

Someone Borrowed by mynameis152 | 138,996 | It felt like hours that he stared at Izuku, coming to terms with the fact that a man, his childhood best friend, whom he hadn’t seen since their senior year of high school, was there in front of his very eyes. Then his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched before he uttered through gritted teeth the very name Izuku had longed to hear for years. “Deku.”

Dark Side of the Sun by Synnie | 51,598 | Staying up too late playing video games, Kirishima wasn't expecting to get an urgent call begging for help. Next thing he knew, he was letting his classmate Izuku Midoriya take refuge in his apartment - without consulting his always angry roommate.

Manage Me by Justaperson1718 | 10,756 | Izuku becomes Katsuki’s model agent.

Don't Set Your Drink Down by Crandberrycrush | 88,424 | With sudden clarity Izuku realized he had broken the first rule of going out. Never leave your drink unattended.

Livewire by pretty_rekless | 18,160 | Per Ochako's request, Izuku downloads a gay dating app in hopes to finally find a partner. Except every single one of his leads keep ghosting him or standing him up... That is until one hot, fiery blond enters the chat. Grindr/Tinder AU fic.

Drinking Watermelon by warschach | 8,906 | Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Precious Pet by Mikacrispy | 6,379 | When broke college student Midoriya Izuku found a job that offered lodging, food, and good pay for four hours of work each day, he thought it was too good to be true. But he called anyway. Turns out all he has to do is to be the spoiled little puppy of a rich businessman.

Our Eleven Summers by Dark_Mage_Ayumu | 34,472 | The first time Katsuki met Izuku was when he was eight. For the next eleven years, Izuku changed his life, and no one even knew. Their relationship was something they shared in secret.

sticky note crushes by ladyofsnails | 3,239 | Katsuki hates his roommate. The green-haired, freckled, artsy son of a bitch with his dumb pun t-shirts and paint-stained hands he can’t fucking keep to himself. Katsuki can’t leave a single assignment or paper out in his room because that idiot will just grab anything to draw on it. He’s like a shark that can’t stop swimming else it’ll die – he can’t stop drawing. Ever.

Don't Play Pretend by SweetSide | 10,103 | Actor AU: Deku and Bakugou get the leading roles for an upcoming TV Drama. They weren’t aware that they would be working with each other for who knows how long. It would’ve been completely fine if they weren’t exes.

97.6 FM by jamjars | 32,249 | Izuku can’t stop listening to the radio host with the deep voice who sounds like he’s stuck in 2010. It’s a harmless crush. That is until he starts calling into the show under the pseudonym Deku.

Read {between} Your Lines by greatcloudninja | 52,252 | Midoriya Izuku, up-and-coming actor, has finally hit his big break (...), Bakugou Katsuki, who has been acting for over twenty years.However, Bakugou seems to have it out for Izuku, leading to tension both on and off set. When some incriminating photos surface, the studio suggests (...): having Bakugou and Midoriya fake a relationship to get ahead of the rumors. 

I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts by PassingShadow | 5,522 | Izuku is a professional cuddler and Katsuki is his new client that’s just a little rough around the edges, and needs a natural healing touch.

Alternative Universe – Quirkless Deku

A Good Old-Fashioned Tattoo AU by lalazee | 14,437 | After their paths had split, Bakugou & Deku meet again as adults. While Bakugou begins to repent for the kid he used to be, he also starts to prove himself as he the man he is now.

Call Me a Safe Bet (I'm Betting I'm Not) by WTTTD | 10,803 | He wished he had some sort of heads up before seeing Deku again for the first time after nearly two years, looking like the essence of a lazy Sunday, smiling and surrounded with brand new, adoring friends. It was a little fitting that Katsuki burned for him so badly. (Support Department Deku)

In Which Kacchan Has a Ruff Time by OneshotPrincess | 14,511 | Bakugou Katsuki gets quirked into a dog, gets adopted by an unknowing Izuku and generally has a very rough few days full of realizations

While You Were Sleeping by Belkacaramelka (annabelleg) | 71,197 | The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Let Me Assist You Personally by Seeress | 32,806 | Izuku is long-suffering Personal Assistant to #1 Pro Hero Dynamight.Dynamight can't keep a PA to save his career. They all quit crying after a few days weeks. Enter, Izuku—with enough money problems to brave the jaws of the cranky beast. Childhood friend turned glorified paid slave. Somehow it all works out. ‘Kill them with kindness’, his mom had told him once. If that were true, Bakugou Katsuki would be stone-cold dead by now.

Smile For The Camera by kurokonekokilled | 19,179 | Midnight has a cam site, home to millions of users, but one catches Katsuki's eye when he goes scrolled through it in search for something to help him release a little stress. A live stream and the best orgasm of his life later, his wallet is lighter, and he might be almost as obsessed with this Deku guy as the cam boy is with him.

Just Like The Comics by brichibi | 24,935 | Where Izuku works at a comic book shop because that’s as close to a hero as he’s gonna get, and Katsuki plays the part of heroic ex-boyfriend who is good at everything except winning Izuku back... maybe

Alternative Universe – Quirks

Get on my Level by Mikacrispy | 92,273 | Bakugou Katsuki is a Pro Hero whose boss demands him to take an intern. Midoriya Izuku is a UA student who needs an internship. When the two of them are put together, they learn about what it truly means to be a Hero and what it means to be in love.

A/B/O – Secret! Baby

Home by Emerald2402 | 87,214 | Midoriya Izuku left Japan in a rush, moving to America without a word to anyone else. But then almost 11 years later he arrives back Home and Bakugou Katsuki's Alpha is furious. Fuck that, Bakugou is furious, because Midoriya Izuku, an omega he tasted one time, has been keeping a very big, very blonde haired, green eyed secret.

Those Under the Same Stars by PerpetuallyPerturbed | 325,553 | When Katsuki Bakugo left Izuku Midoriya five years ago, he thought it was for forever. He put aside dreams and wishes of the omega to focus on his career. He was going to be the best hero, after all. He couldn't have an omega getting in his way. So when he's stopped on the streets one day by a pup begging for help for his mom, he isn't prepared to face what he gave up, and what the consequences of his actions were. (Quirkless Deku)

A/B/O – Quirks

Mark Me. Make Me Yours. by decadentbynature | 10,062 | Midoriya is the only Omega at UA and he's been hiding it well but there's one issue that threatens to expose him: his attraction to an Alpha, Bakugo. After being told to give some paperwork to Bakugo, Midoriya lets him into his dorm room and is immediately overwhelmed by his scent. Unable to help himself, he gives in to his urges, only to be discovered by Bakugo but instead of becoming enraged, Bakugo decides to give Midoriya exactly what he wants

Claim Me by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) | 114,449 | Being an Alpha has nothing to do with Katsuki's success as a Pro-Hero, the same way Deku's Omega status hasn't kept him from becoming Number Two. Secondary gender doesn't mean anything nowadays and “mating” is an antiquated practice. So when Izuku, his rival, asks Katsuki to Claim him in the middle of the night, there is only one logical thing to say. “What the fuck?”

Change of Plans by Mikacrispy | 185,965 | Alpha Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki never planned to get married to some random omega but what he wants isn't an option anymore. One for All wielder Midoriya Izuku has suffered injustice too many times and doesn't plan in allowing his secondary gender to dictate how he must live his life. Falling in love was never in the plans.

Going Feral For You by ANGIE_fic | 17,977 | Bakugou has an aggression problem that might have to do with his Alpha. His job is on the line because of it. So what do you do with a pent up Alpha? Yes.Rut. (Quirkless Izuku)

i live for you, i long for you by jeonjeonggukkkkkie | 19,165 | The five times Izuku hinted he wants Katsuki to spend his next heat with him, and the one time Katsuki took the hint.

Baby's First Bloom by ContraryBee | 44,945 | Izuku blooms for Katsuki one warm day in their third year of middle school. What follows is both boys learning about themselves, their bond, and the society they live in.

As Fate Would Have It by ScientificallySinful (VampireGaaraCheesepuffs) | 88,737 | Katsuki Bakugo had plenty of reasons why he wasn't mated yet, not that he was going to explain why to just anyone. But now, Ground Zero was running out of time. If he didn't find someone soon, he'd lose his position as a Pro-Hero and he'd never get to be #1. So, when he finds out there's a male Omega recently arrested for prostitution that's headed to prison if he too doesn't get a mate…well it must be fate. (Quirkless Izuku)

A/B/O – No Quirks

Gravity by warschach | 71,477 | Izuku is back in his hometown and plenty hasn't changed much from the 8 years he was gone. Except, Katsuki Bakugou, the alpha king of their small town. He's hotter- because that's fair, right, God? -, stronger, a now-famous pro fighter, and noticeably nicer this round.Not that he cares, pfft. (Fine, he cares.)

Nine Months by greatcloudninja | 23,303 | Omega Midoriya Izuku connects with Alpha Bakugou Katsuki through an online singles ad. Izuku pays Katsuki to help him with his heat, ending up pregnant in the process. What follows is a pregnancy filled with ups and downs, but whatever hurdles come their way, they can make it through together.

The long dark by Ominous-Anonymous (Ominonymous) | 13,289 | He could have been really dangerous. He could be a fucking murderer for all he knew. But Izuku Midoriya, ever the reckless daredevil, was not thinking of that when he got into a car with a complete stranger. Completely ignoring the part where his mother always taught him to never gets into cars with alphas he didn't know...

[fcrafcrtnight]

"WON'T I? i did last time. i walked away, while you were left in that room, with only your boyfriend's dead body to keep you company? i only regret that i didn't remember to lock the door back then. the world would have been much better off without you." this was laughable. did she not remember how things had ended up last time? how he had already bested her? twice, at that? he has won and he would continue to win, until she was gone for good. and honestly, what a world that would end up being.. right? "the fact that you didn't deny it just shows me it's true. and you could ask. doesn't particularly mean that i would say yes, though? the only help that i will ever be giving the likes of you would be a shove towards your grave. honestly, do you not see that you'd be doing everyone a favour if you just stopped being stubborn and died? honestly. it's time to stop fighting it, no?" the way he saw it, she had come too close to dying every single time and somehow, some way, managed to escape it. how was that fair, when he knew that she didn't deseerve that chance at all? "oh, i'm very much not stupid. i know which side is the winning one and.. which side is willing to do what it takes. you? you're weak now. soft. you wouldn't hurt a fly, even to save your loved ones." was that how he saw it? very much so, because look at all that elaine had done and put her through and she was still here, attempting to have a chat instead of moving to action. pathetic? yes. to him, it absolutely was and would continue to be. right? "you're underestimating how much she hates you. how much she wants you dead. and right now? she has this town under her thumb and.. your so not husband would most likely take her side over the crazy ex that once did murder him. is that really what you want to put to the test? trust me, you don't want to test your aunt. not when she can destroy you with a single phone call. not to mention.. the only way you'll defeat elaine is by killing her and.. if you do kill her, how would he react to that? hm? killing the mother of his daughter? oof. are you truly willing to risk losing your beloved parker forever? hm?" he only smiled, bringing his wine glass to his lips again. "it would, if you knew you didn't have anything to run back. how would you like to be truly and completely alone? hm? i think you and i both know that's what you fear, isn't it? to go back to feeling that lost, unloved little girl that had to beg for daddy's affection, to get none?" she didn't have to tell him that was the case. he already knew that and.. well, maybe he was able to see right past her mask. right? he stopped talking out of a sudden, freezing. blood trickling down his leg? what the fuck? he caught her hand beneath the table, not letting go of her wrist. what he hadn't expexted was to feel anything other than anger when his hand touched hers. "a) you should know by now i prefer my revenge served stone cold and hopefully, when people do not expect it," still not letting go of her hand and knowing that she could easily press the knife lower and then.. what? "and b, that's ridiculous. you don't know the first thing about me and all i feel towards you? it's rage. maybe a little pity, too." flinching. he hated how so not true that was. @xtinyslip

"I'LL PASS. THINK I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN TO PLAY THE GAMES OF A CRAZY LITTLE BITCH, THAT EVERYONE IN TOWN KNOW NOWS FOR THE MENTALLY UNSTABLE FREAK SH IS." oh, she wasn't the only one that knew what she was doing and given what he knew from what elaine had done to her, was he hoping that he had just aimed somewhere that it was actually going to hurt? well.. yes, he was. how dare she come here? "because you don't have anyone else, hm? no, you're alone. your fathers couldn't care less about you - yes, plural, both of them - your husband has no idea that he was ever your husband and that he ever saw you as anything more than a murderer and you're too afraid of saying anything bad around him and you won't drag your little friends - the doctor, the ex-mayor and the killer for hire - into your little schemes because you're too afraid that we'd kill them too and then, you'd be alone for good. did i get it right? oh, wait. you don't need to tell me. i know i did. and besides, you're a little too late. i already picked my side. your aunt's. the WINNING side." bringing his glass of wine to his lips, titling his head to the side, as if to say.. your move? yes, that was precisely it. not that he thought she could beat that. what could he say? it was far too easy for him to read her. like reading a bad book. "good. keep that in mind. happy to do it again and give you a refresher?" he only smiled. "oh, it should. see... elaine found the perfect punishment. truly, it's genius. throwing you in a dark, dark room, losing the key and letting you stay there, in the cold and the dark, knowing everyone thinks you're crazy and that the whole world is moving on without you. sounds familiar? only this time.. no escape. ever. i'll be sure to design an escape free door myself. just for you. SCARED YET?" he froze, hand curling so tightly around the wine glass that he didn't know how it hadn't snapped there and then. what the fuck? "put that down. you.. you wouldn't. not here. not where he could see you. you--" he grimaced, looking down. had she cut him? what the fuck? bitch. this little bitch. "a) you'll pay for that. and b)... i don't need to convince myself of anything. i know that i hate you." did he? @xtinyslip

[panlight]

The thing that always bothered me about the NM breakup was Edward stealing Bella's things as if that would make her forget him. She isn't going to forget a year romance just because you pilfered her stuff, dude! ESPECIALLY not a romance that also included a near-death experience!

The whole thing just never really worked for me in general. Like, I get what SM was going for, and if I had read it a few years earlier when I was in my Romeo & Juliet phase, it probably WOULD have worked for me. But I was already on the older side of YA when I read it so I just kept being like "all this for a high school romance?" even though like, I understand that in-universe this was a much bigger romance than that, that it was meant to be True Love and all that. But I kept being like "you dated for like six months idk."

And the other part that just didn't work for me is when Bella was like "I lost the whole family, the whole future I'd chosen" because like:

a) very few people get the future they planned when they were 17. I don't doubt that having your plans and dreams upended was hard, but the tone of like "this is the worst thing that has literally happened to anyone" sort of rubbed me the wrong way. That quote about time passing is actually beautifully written, IMO, but the "time passes . . . even for me" part made me groan.

b) the Cullens . . . had not offered her a future at this point? Edward hadn't proposed, no one had offered to turn her. When people are like "the Cullens abandoned her!" I'm always like . . . did they? IMO no one owed her any closure except Edward and Alice. When you break up with someone (or someone breaks up with you), you . . . usually stop hanging out with their family? IDK it just didn't strike me as "abandonment" that her ex-boyfriend's family 'left' her.

c) I just didn't buy that she actually cared about any of them anyway. Like I think she liked the idea of being an immortal vampire with a big family, but as of New Moon she canonically doesn't know ANYTHING about Rosalie and Jasper (because she learns that in Eclipse), and her convo with Carlisle with the stitches feels like the first meaningful conversation she's had with him. She never seems to find out Esme's full story. If the Cullens had left but Edward had stayed, do we honestly think Bella would have cared?

And then there was just the fact that she couldn't figure out he left to protect her when it was SO OBVIOUS. And in-universe this is supposed to be about her self-esteem, how she never thought of herself as worthy of him so of course he would leave her but . . . IDK. It was just so blatantly obvious that he left to protect he from a future of either danger or blood-sucking soullessness. He left after Jasper tried to eat her; it wasn't subtle. Like yes I get her self-esteem issues but she's also supposed to be stubborn and perceptive so the fact that she couldn't figure out what was really going on until like he came back and literally explained it to her repeatedly felt weird. But that could just be me.

And then the major, major problem with all this is that Edward leaving to protect her is supposed to be this noble sacrifice he made because a human life would be so much better and more fulfilling for anyone and he wants that for her because he loves her. BUT THEN BREAKING DAWN HAPPENS and being a vampire is just rainbows and sunshine and awesomeness for Bella. Which makes you go like "why did he bother leaving in New Moon?" and "why did they bother sucking the venom out in Twilight?" It creates this conflict of like "Did Edward et al lie about how bad being a vampire is?" or "Is Bella in denial?"

Stealing the stuff is very gaslight-y, yeah. It makes her question if he was real, if any of it was real, it hurt instead of helped. But in universe it's supposed to be him wanting her to have that clean break and chance at a human life but then the over-the-top happy ending of BD makes you go, "huh?" all over again.

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Our little love part 2 - mafia/yandere au Drabble {angst + fluff}

As always please let me know what you think, I am actually going to go to bed now my brain is angry with me for not sleeping.

It seemed the cycle was never ending, you fucking up and pissing them off, them punishing you by drowning you in their love, only letting you come up to breathe so you could swim in your own guilt and submit to them.

You wince as the victim to your latest fuck up gets another blow to his chest. Taehyung and Hobi held onto his arms as Jungkook and Jimin kick and punch the poor individual. You know not to speak, it’ll only make things worse. Temperament was a fickle thing in their lives, trust was everything, and you still had to build yours up again.

“Y/n help please,” Kai whimpers as you stood with your arms crossed looking away.

“Don’t fucking say her name,” Jungkook growled before punching your ex colleague in the face. You’re frowning, the need to beg them to stop was fighting for exit on the top of your tongue, but you bite it down and pray Kai doesn’t say another word. You know if you do as he asks they’d kill him. Your punishment was to watch silently.

Yoongi strolls up behind you, hands in his pockets before he rests his head on your shoulder, watching the display in front of you both.

“Nothing to say little love?” He whispers as your friend groans out in pain.

Please don’t kill him, you want to say, but you just shake your head in defeat. You want to believe they’re better than this, but the evidence of the contrary was never hidden from you. They showed you every side of them whether proud of it or not with bold eyes daring you to stop loving them, pushing your boundaries and morals waiting for you to snap. But the breaking point never came, you loved them, you shouldn’t and you knew it, but you did. You were completely and utterly theirs, yet still they treated you like you hadn’t seen the worst of them. Like you would run away the second you realised they were monsters, not that they would let you run far, only far enough to let you take a single breath before making you drown in them once again.

Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist, keeping an eye on your reactions. The asshole deserved it, not that they cared either way, he tried to take you away from them, that was enough.

Kai was your old partner before you took a very early retirement, what you didn’t know was that he continued the case you were working on before you left; the case of the seven men you now loved and the reason you quit said job. He had called you to meet up for old times sake and you, very naively in Yoongi’s mind, decided it was harmless. But if it was harmless why didn’t you say anything to the boys? You thought Kai didn’t know the reason you handed in your resignation, but he had been keeping an eye on you all before he realised you were the key to their downfall. He knew you harboured some feeling for him in the past and thought you’d reciprocate when he tried to flirt his way into getting his hands on the evidence you collected, he didnt know you burned it all. You lied to him and said you lost it, same difference anyway. This prompted plan b from him.

“Y/n they’re criminals,” he had said to you. “You’re a cop at heart you can’t love them.”

You floundered at his words when you realised he knew, and yet he still asked you to betray them.

“Kai I think I need to go...”

It was a mistake, you knew it then, but he followed you out onto the street and you hoped tonight the men you loved weren’t keeping an eye on you. Maybe naive was an understatement.

“Are they coercing you Y/n! Do they have something on you or are they threatening you?” He calls after you. “Because the Y/n I know would never love killers, what have they done to you?”

It was when he reached his hand out to grab your arm that your boyfriends decided to show themselves from the shadows. Which lead to the situation now, Kai beat up and bruised beyond recognition, and you forced to watch. He falls unconscious and they let him drop to the floor, you hate this side of them, it was cruel and cold but you’d never leave. They turn to face you now, their anger still present despite the last hour of releasing it onto your old partner. They don’t miss the way you’re shaking, the shallow breaths as you try and keep your tears to yourself. As much as you hate their violence, you hate their disappointment in you more.

——————————————————————————

You’re sitting in Joonie’s lap for what you call the debriefing of your punishment, this happened way too often in your opinion. You look down but he wasn’t having it today, tilting your head to look at him by your chin.

“Why did you get punished today little love?” He starts the same way as usual.

“I went out without telling you guys where I was going or who with,” you say while fiddling with your fingers out of nervous habit.

“And?” Hobi sits across from you in a chair, legs straddling the back and an elbow rested on top with his fist holding up his face. Hobi was hardest to pacify, he was ruthless and unforgiving and while that didn’t extend to you, you still had a hard time with his stubborn anger.

“I met up with Kai, and I let him touch me,” you’ve done this too many times before to not know how it worked. Kai’s ‘touch’ obviously meant nothing to you but for them it was the worst crime anyone could commit against their little love.

You remember the time you nearly tripped in the park and a guy steadied you politely, but you still had to hold Jungkook back from throwing hands.

“Kookie would you rather I fell and hurt myself?” No he hadn’t wanted that so he grumbled in agreement still seething but you cooled it down. “Instead of hitting him maybe you should thank him,” it was a joke but it made the youngest scoff.

“Baby girl why can’t you just be good?” Namjoon’s sigh brings you back to the present. “Why do you always have to test us like this?”

You didn’t mean to, you want to say it but the words are stuck below the sob in your throat. You actually whimper as his tone, bottom lip wobbling pathetically. He hadn’t even told you off properly, but you already felt like a mess as he bathed you in his disappointment. That was the common consequence of your actions and you hated it, you couldn’t do anything right.

——————————————————————————

“Jin do you need help with the food?” You ask your eldest boyfriend politely, he was frowning and you thought it was because today’s meal was too much for him to handle alone, his tone of voice made you realise it was because of you.

“No, I’m alright,” he doesn’t look at you as he speaks and you’re left gaping at him like a fish. Jin loved it when you cooked with him, it was your bonding time without the others, although Yoongi would join you from time to time. The others also tried but Jin wouldn’t let them anywhere near the kitchen, they hogged you enough anyway.

You feel your soul deflate, still standing there as he ignored you.

“Are you mad at me too?”

The way you said it made his heart twinge with guilt, but the others were right you wouldn’t learn and your first betrayal was still fresh on their minds. He sighs and you turn away, refusing to crying in front of them for the tenth time that day. What was wrong with you? Ever since that day where they found out who you really were you felt like you werent enough anymore, you tried so hard to make up for it all but you kept messing up. You weren’t like this before, but after seeing the hurt you put them through you were constantly on edge and second guessing yourself. You wish you could go back and stop them from ever finding out.

Jin hears the sniffle as you walk away and he can’t go through with it.

“Wait little love,” he calls for you. “I forgot to cut the onions, would you mind?”

You shake your head, you didn’t mind, but you didn’t trust your voice to answer for you. Youre grateful to Jin for giving you this task, it hides the fact you’re crying, but you know he doesn’t miss it.

——————————————————————————

Jimin and Taehyung were giving you narrowed stern gazes through dinner, it put you off your food which resulted in getting told off by Jin just after he branched out to you in the kitchen.

You felt alone, like the seven men you loved were against you and there was no one to blame but yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly before getting up and removing yourself from the dinner table and dining room, ignoring all of their stares. You decide maybe an early night is best, you could start again fresh tomorrow. You don’t get too far up the stairs before a hand pulls you back, you turn to see Jimin with Tae a few steps behind him.

You’re so used to seeing them laugh and play around that it feels like you’re looking at different people. Even during missions or gun fights, the youngest three were always joking their way through the bloodshed, keeping scores of who got the most headshots and other grotesque games. You remember the time Jimin and Tae called you during he middle of a shoot out, arguing with you and each other over who you loved more out of the two while you begged them to not get shot or killed.

“Why did you go see him Y/n?” Jimin asked, he wore the demeanour he used for enemies and it takes you back to that night.

“I... h-he said he wanted to see me to catch up,” you explain but you know it’ll fall on deaf ears.

“And you thought that was a good idea, to see your old cop buddy?” His tone makes you feel stupid, you weren’t stupid.

“He was my friend Jimin,” you say in disbelief, you know in the end it was a mistake but at the time it didn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.

“You’re ours,” Taehyung moved forward, towering over you even though he’s a step below you. His face is close to your own, eyes burning into yours as he looks disgusted at the words that left your mouth as if they’re still attached to you. “How do you think we felt when you went to see another detective? Do you have any idea what was going through our heads?”

“Tae I love you,” you lean away from him, searching his face for a hint of softness and love in his gaze, but there was only fire. “You know I wouldn’t, you all know I wouldn’t, I left that life for you why would I turn back to it?”

He stalks away from you without a word, Jimin close behind, giving you a final cold glance before leaving you alone. You thought your love could make them better but if anything you made their darkness worse.

——————————————————————————

Jungkook needed to vent, the only way he knew how was physically. Obviously it wasn’t the cleverest thing he’s done, taking rounds with the punching bag only to open up the cuts on his hand from beating the bastard earlier. He mutters a few curse words under his breath, why did you make matters worse? Maybe they were being harsh on you before today, finding any excuse to punish you a little, test your boundaries and see if you would run, but today they honestly feared that was what happened. They thought you chose to leave them and go back to the life you had before them, but they’d never let you go, they couldn’t let you go. Despite everything you loved them and they worshipped the ground you walked on. You were everything for them now, there’s be no point to any of them without you. Why didn’t you understand that?

He throws another punch to the bag, spreading his blood across them, it hurt like hell, but the thought of you running back to your old partner still played on all of their minds. He wanted to cry, he wanted to find you and beg you to never leave them, they’d be nothing without you.

There’s a knock on the door and he finds you on the other side, waiting for permission to come in. You never waited for permission, it makes him frown, maybe they were too harsh on you today. He could see you shuffling your weight, insecurity screaming through your eyes, you feared his rejection more than his anger.

He notices the first aid kit in your hand, you must’ve heard him. He doesn’t let the fluttering in his chest reach his face as he sits on the bench, waiting for you to come to him.

His gaze is expectant, daring you to cross the threshold and face him, you were no coward, you didn’t fear them the way others did, why were you behaving so meekly now? You force yourself to move and sit beside him, setting the kit down and pushing your hair back behind your ears. He doesn’t move his gaze away from you, even with the sweat and hair hanging in front of his face.

You carefully take a his hand into yours, sucking air between your teeth at how injured it was.

“I’m sorry you hurt yourself because of me,” you say, eyes on his bloodied knuckle as you press the ointment against the open wounds. “Are you sure you want me to stay, I keep hurting you...”

You try to sound like you’re joking, that you’re okay and the hurt isn’t weighing you down with your doubts. He frowns, they really did take it too far. He sets down the cotton wool from your grasp, taking both of hands into his before kissing each finger delicately without letting you look away.

“You’re perfect little love,” Jungkook says, reassuring you with no question in his voice. “We’re the ones who don’t deserve you, we’re mean and cruel but we’re never letting you go.”

You remember how loving they were before that night, maybe while they accepted the truth at face value they could never really forgive you in their hearts. Maybe that’s why they were being like this, they didn’t love you the same way anymore.

“Do you love me?” You had to know, the doubt was eating you alive.

He looks at you as if you’re insane, maybe you are, you don’t know anymore.

“Little love, don’t you see how much we love you?” He asks sincerely. “We would do anything for that love even if it made you hate us, you belong with us, and no one is going to take you away.”

You could see the crazed look in his face grow as he spoke, you believed him, the honestly worn like a heart on a sleeve. But his answer bought a wave clarity to your hazed vision, you made them like this, you made them worse, you had to leave.

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Mess is Mine

(This is a non-snz fic despite the title!)

Based on a request from @iseeagirlwithbrightredhair. The prompt: "This ideas been going round in my head for a few days and I had to share! A & B have broken up and A had to go back to their place to pick up a few things, only when they get there they find Bs really sick. Now they’ve got to deal with that on top of old feelings and Bs stubbornness." Thank you for the prompt! I loved it, and I’m so sorry it took so long to finish this!

I originally introduced forty-year-old Thad Tenbusch and his partner JB in this story. The fic you're currently reading is set 20 years in the past, around approximately 2001 when the guys are in their early twenties and full of all the college emotions. 

Buckle up for some angst with a happy ending and of course illness, which always adds a further delicious level to the angst. 

The only reason he was driving all this way was to grab his albums–Thad reminded himself of that over and over again during the course of the two hour trip. Well, his albums and the last of his clothes. Things he needed for the summer. Things he would miss if he didn't grab them soon. It was simply an errand to grab his items, and said errand certainly had nothing whatsoever to do with the person currently possessing said items.

He and JB weren't right for each other. That's all there was to it. It didn't matter that JB was the smartest, kindest, most loyal person he'd ever met, or that he was happier with JB than he could ever remember being before. What did matter was that whenever they were together, they found themselves in an endless cycle of disagreement and misunderstanding. Nothing was ever simple between them, and nothing proved that more clearly than the fact that Thad wasn't even completely sure they had broken up. They had simply parted ways in high tempers after an argument over three weeks ago, and hadn't spoken since.

 In truth, it was due to this state of limbo that Thad had decided to make this trip to JB's house, though he would never admit that to anyone but himself. If they were breaking up, he wanted to know it for a fact, and if they were breaking up he also wanted to reclaim custody of his precious music before JB assumed custody of it by default. For the sake of his music collection, and the sake of his sanity, this drive was a necessity.

As his journey neared its completion, Thad began to grow nervous, though. He hadn't warned his (ex?) boyfriend he was coming. His initial reasoning had been that he didn't want JB to leave or pretend he wasn't home when he arrived. However, such immaturity wasn't in JB's character, and Thad knew it was a weak argument at best. Yet he couldn't bring himself to pick up the phone and call before he left. He refused to be the one to break the silence between them, so he would be arriving unannounced, and while Thad knew it was unfair to blindside JB with this visit, he found he couldn't bring himself to care. 

In due time, Thad arrived at the Dodge summer home where JB had been living for the last few semesters due to its proximity to the university. The house and yard were as pristine and borderline sterile as ever. Thad suppressed a little shiver as stepped out of the car and slammed the door behind him. There was no turning back now. 

Steeling himself with a deep breath, he strode to the front door. It took another moment of standing on the porch before he could bring himself to knock, though. His mind was whirling with too many thoughts, many of them contradictions to each other, and he still had no clue what he was going to say, or how he was going to explain his presence. He reminded himself once more that he was just here for his albums… and hopefully an explanation for the past three weeks of silence. Plastering on what he hoped was a pleasant smile, Thad finally raised a hand and knocked firmly.

JB didn't answer the first series of knocks. Or the second. This caused Thad to glance at the garage in concern, but he could see JB's car within. So then he couldn't have gone far… unless he rode with someone else. Panic began to build in Thad's chest as he knocked a third time. Had he driven out here for nothing? Should he wait around for JB to return? How long would it be acceptable to wait?

Thankfully his worries were unnecessary. Just as Thad was about to knock for a fourth and final time, he heard the sound of movement inside. Finally the front door opened, and there stood his (ex?) boyfriend, looking dignified and handsome as ever. However, clearly all was not well with JB. He was dressed in a robe and pajama pants, and his hair was a disheveled mess which it appeared he had tried to hastily fix with his hands. He was pale and clammy-looking, aside from the deep bruising under his eyes, and the light breeze that blew in through the doorway made him shiver miserably. 

"Thad? What are you doing here?" the taller man croaked, pulling his robe closer around himself as he muffled a cough into his sleeve.

"JB, hey… I was just in the neighborhood, and remembered I had left a few of my albums here, so I decided to see if I could grab them from you."

"Ah. Your albums. I should've known." It seemed JB was going to say more, but a chesty coughing fit snuck up on him, preventing him from speaking.

Thad frowned. "If you don't mind me asking… are you sick?"

"Very observant," JB said wryly, rubbing his chest with a wince. "Yes, I'm definitely sick. I've had a cold all week. Ever since the semester ended. Turned into a chest cold a few days ago."

"Oh I'm… sorry to hear that. Obviously I wouldn't have barged in on you… if I had known, you know."

"Maybe you should've called before you came over, then," JB said flatly. 

"Right, yeah… like I said, I was just in the neighborhood, so I didn't have much of a chance," Thad replied lamely.

"Right," JB repeated, unimpressed. "Well since you're here, go ahead and grab what you came for. I won't stop you."

He stepped to the side, allowing Thad to enter. As Thad crossed the threshold though, JB was forced to turn aside to cough harshly into his elbow yet again. 

"That's quite the cough," Thad tried again, this time with some concern. 

"Don't, Thad. Just grab your stuff and go so I can go back to bed," JB said. 

Had anyone else said that to him, Thad would have immediately gotten angry. But it wasn't just anyone, it was JB. And JB didn't sound angry or resentful or spiteful… he just sounded tired. And sick. 

The words still stung though, and Thad scowled, shoving clenched fists into his pockets. "Fine. Are the records still in your room? And my clothes?"

"Yes," JB grunted, rubbing an eye with the heel of his hand. 

"Good. Then I guess I'll be right back." Thad turned on his heel with a huff, striding back to JB's room, and JB didn't follow. It was only a matter of minutes to find his things; they hadn't been touched since he was last here. He was returning to the living room in minutes, cradling the records in his arms. 

JB was lying on the couch with an arm flung over his eyes. The area surrounding him was littered with books, used dishes, and medicine. Thad approached hesitantly. 

"Thought you wanted to be in bed. Why are you laying out here? We both know that couch sucks," Thad attempted once more.

JB uncovered his eyes and leveled a long, scrutinizing stare at the other man. For a moment, Thad wondered if he was going to reply at all. Then JB lay back down, covering his eyes again. "It's warmer out here. And darker," he said grudgingly. 

"Ah. I thought your room looked too neat to be a sick person's room."

"My room is always neat. Being messy is your thing."

"It is not my thing. And no one's room is neat when they're sick. Not even you, O King of the Used Mugs," Thad said, gesturing to the cluttered coffee table. "But I like seeing you be a little messy. Makes you seem almost human," he gently teased, trying to coax out a smile from the other man.

Instead JB's scowl deepened below his arm. "Glad to know you think I'm not human, Thad," he said sharply.

Thad clenched his fists again, thankful JB couldn't see this time. JB knew all of his tics and how to interpret them. Thad took a deep breath to calm himself. "You're certainly crabby. Must mean you're running a fever."

JB shifted, finally moving his arm to meet Thad's eyes, still frowning. "There's no correlation between those two things."

"My ass there isn't. How many stress fevers have I seen you get during exams every semester? And with every cold you've ever gotten? And you're the biggest crab-ass every single time."

Thad's last few words were drowned out by a deep, rattling coughing fit from JB. Before he realized what he was doing, Thad was kneeling at JB’s side, stroking the other man’s hair soothingly. He didn't move until JB's breathing had steadied and most of the hectic color had faded from his face. Only then did Thad slowly stand once more.

"You've definitely got more than a cold this time, though," he said slowly. "This fever is the highest I've ever felt on you."

JB could only shrug, rubbing his chest. "I've been taking medicine for it," he rasped, barely above a whisper. 

"You poor thing," Thad tutted. "Can't your family come stay with you until you're better? Or bring you home?"

"They're out of state on vacation for the rest of the month," JB mumbled. "I didn't want them to have to come home early." He met Thad's eyes, his own eyes hardening. "But I don't need anyone to stay with me. I'm twenty-one. I can take care of myself."

Thad rolled his eyes. "You're so stubborn. I'm twenty-one too, and I still like having other people around for company when I'm sick."

JB didn't reply, but an angry, bitter look crossed his face.

 Thad sighed wearily, taking a step toward the kitchen. "Let me get a cool rag for your face. You're burning up."

"Don't bother, Thad. You've got your stuff. Just go!" JB snapped. He paid for raising his voice though as he quickly succumbed to a barking coughing fit. 

Thad patiently waited for him to finish. "Why are you pushing me away?" he asked quietly. 

"Because I don't need your pity, and you don't need to do this."

"I'm not pitying you! I *want* to do it!"

"Why?" JB challenged, his stare unwavering even as he trembled with fever chills. 

"Because I care about you! Very very much! That hasn't changed!"

Silence fell for a handful of breaths. 

"Then why did you leave that night?" JB asked, so quietly he was hardly audible. 

Thad exhaled slowly, pushing aside dishes and tissues to sit down on the coffee table, facing the other man. "Because that's… what I thought you wanted."

"Why would you–" JB was forced to interrupt himself to stifle a cough into his fist– "Why would you think that?"

Thad shrugged. "We were arguing. You said I was, and I quote, 'being ridiculous and completely impossible to talk to.' "

"Then you asked if that meant I thought we shouldn't be together," JB said carefully.

Thad nodded. "And you didn't reply. You just looked at me. So I left. And you didn't follow me. Or call. Or send a letter. Hell, you could've sent a carrier pigeon. But you didn't."

"Because you LEFT. YOU left. Not me. You chose to go, so I wasn't about to chase after you," JB shot back.

A series of emotions flitted across Thad's face. "Well I'm back now, aren't I?" he said at last. 

"For your albums."

"For answers," Thad corrected. "Or an answer, anyway." He shifted, fidgeting. "Clearly I left too soon that night. I didn't really give you the chance to answer the question I asked. I'd really like to hear what you have to say." He stood, shoving his hands into his pockets. "But I'll tell you right now, no matter what you answer, I'm staying here to take care of you, at least until your fever is down. You shouldn't be alone like this, regardless of our relationship status. I'm organizing a coup of the messy living room and putting myself in charge until further notice."

Without further ado, he strode into the kitchen with a handful of dirty dishes, leaving JB to think on all that was said. When Thad returned, he immediately went to the sick man's side, pressing a cold, wet rag to either side of JB's neck before letting it rest on his forehead. JB, sighed in relief at the coolness, though the sigh caught in his throat and turned into a weak cough.

"Here, drink," Thad encouraged, pressing a straw to JB's lips. He complied willingly enough, sucking down most of the glass of water Thad held. 

"Thank you," JB croaked tiredly.

"It's the least I could do. You look so completely miserable," Thad murmured sympathetically.

"I feel miserable," JB agreed. 

"Do you need anything else right now?"

JB shook his head.

"That's fine. I'll make dinner for us soon. Something that'll be easy on your throat. Maybe some Tikka Masala. Extra mild."

"You really are planning to stay?" JB asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Absolutely. For as long as you need me to."

"You came back. And you're staying," JB repeated, as if trying to process the information.

"I did and I am," Thad confirmed. 

"In that case… I have the answer to your question."

"You don't have to–"

"I want to," JB interjected, which of course caused him to cough in a sharp, protracted burst. Thad was at his side in a moment, rubbing his back until he quieted. 

"I'm keeping you talking too much, poor guy," Thad said, sitting back down on the coffee table.

"This is important." JB adjusted himself so he was sitting up straighter. "That night you essentially asked me, 'Do you think we shouldn't be together,' correct?"

Thad hesitated, then nodded. 

JB also nodded. "At the time I didn't reply right away because I wanted to answer as truthfully as possible. I wanted to be sure." He cleared his throat roughly with an annoyed shake of his head and rubbed his chest with a grimace before continuing. "We disagree a lot, and I don't foresee that changing. Things are never going to be 'easy' between us, because neither of us do 'easy'. But I do know that when we're together, I can truly say I’m content. With you, I actually want to think about the future for the first time in my life, as long as you're in it. So I don't think we should be together–I KNOW we should be."

There were tears in Thad's eyes as he half-stood, wrapping JB in a bone-crushing embrace, which the sick man fervently returned. 

"You're gonna catch my cold doing this," JB mumbled into Thad's shoulder, yet not loosening his grip.

"Like I give a f*ck," Thad replied. After a final, hard squeeze, he finally pulled away, but maintained eye contact as he grasped JB’s forearms. "The only reason I'm letting go right now is because you can hardly breathe as it is."

"Thanks for that," JB grinned. "So I take it you want to be with me also?"

"That's a definite yes. What, you actually thought I drove all the way here just for my albums?"

"Yes. That wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. You love your music more than anything."

"Maybe. But not more than any *one*." Thad corrected. 

"No, I suppose not," JB said with a tiny smile, lying back against the pillows once more, clearly lacking the strength to sit up any longer. 

"But hey, you've talked enough for today. Your voice is totally gone," Thad soothed. He pressed the back of his hand to JB's forehead, then cheek, then neck. "We need to get that fever under control. I'll get another rag." He turned to go, but JB caught him by the hand, their eyes meeting.

"Hey Thad? Thank you. For coming back," JB croaked, barely discernible.

"Always, Thad grinned, squeezing his hand. "You're stuck with me now. Mess and all."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

[punemy-spotted]

The Price You Pay Chapter 4: Breach

Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader, Senator!Andy Barber x Reader

Warnings: Rape/Non-Con elements, Dub-Con, Dark!Fic, Abuse of Legal System, Murder, Character Death (minor, possibly major), Love Triangle, Political AU, Mafia AU, Workplace Sexual Harassment, Abuse Mentions, Possessive/Obsessive Characters, Other Chapter-Specific Warnings May Apply, Possible Dead Dove: Would Not Eat

Chapter Warnings: Angst; Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse; Betrayal; Lies; F!Reader’s Age Kind of Finalized; Specific Reference to Age; Blackmail; Crying; Slight Panic Attack; Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Chapter Summary: Even the truth can’t set you free.

Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3

Notes: And we’re back to pain. My outline got derailed for this chapter so bear with me, sometimes revelations need to be hammered in. No smut here for now but I also needed to get this arc finished so I can start on the next.

Also I know I keep jumping forward — I swear I will write about their relationship growing.

Thank you all for reading and commenting! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, even if you’re yelling at me.

Not beta-read, these sins belong to me and me alone.

All of my work is 18+ Only, Minors DO NOT INTERACT. I do not consent to my work being posted anywhere besides Tumblr or Ao3 and I post my work there myself. Do not copy, translate, or repost any of my content.

The air is…

Shifted.

Shifted enough that the whole office notices, avoids yours, avoids the glare Steve Rogers fires at them the moment they approach the door, avoids your eye. Shifted enough that you miss the before, the pressure of his presence demanding your attention, the smugness in his endless eyes you denied looking at.

Shifted.

Counsel.

What?

We need to talk.

Is that not what you’ve been avoiding doing all morning, Captain?

You swear you can hear his molar crack in the dead silence, but your eyes never flit upwards from the contract you’re poring through, red pen in hand.

Focus.

It’s a job, this life, and this is a part of it, the presence of him, the pressure of him. It’s a job, and he calls on you to do your duty and you do but no one has ever asked you to be kind and no one has ever asked you to smile as you bear it so you don’t.

It’s a job, this life, and this is a part of it.

You. Are a part of it.

Counsel.

It’s a bark, an order, an annoyance and you shouldn’t let his stubborn fury be the thing that derails you. This is your domain. Your palace of glass and steel, remember? New York buzzes behind you and you surge forward on the tightrope of his affections, teetering dangerously close to his temper and always, always daring him to pull you down.

Try it again.

Fine, with a sigh and a setting down of your papers, You’re closer to the door.

And in your defense, he is, seated on your couch as stiff as a board, scrolling through his phone on occasion and — previously, at least — deftly ignoring your inquiries about the status of his office and why he needs to spend his morning in yours.

He fixes you with a look you do not name and proceeds to stand anyways. The door clicks shut and stays that way — both of you have learned.

Do you still talk to him?

Excuse me?

The Senator. Are. You. Still. In. Contact.

He spreads out every word like an accusation and every word turns you a little colder. You’ve been avoiding this. Avoiding him, distracted by work, the both of you but now you are back in each other’s orbits and this…

This cannot be avoided.

I haven’t spoken to him beyond to tell him I returned home safe that night.

Not. For lack of wanting.

If he’s hurt you, just say the words.

There’s nothing you can say.

It’s been a week. Almost two.

He’s been kind, stayed away, kept his distance but that… that will not last. Only as long as whatever conference has his office busy and then you know what comes next and then you know what comes after.

The bruising may have faded but the memories remain, after all.

They always do.

Steve Rogers is not Andy Barber, is not warm-eyed concern or a soft-voiced invitation, is not trying to save you from the horrors you cannot name, is not to be trusted but Andy Barber is also not Steve Rogers, is not exactly the man you expect, is not the answer to your dilemma, is not the devil you know and you…

Are still testing your wings.

Get up.

Get up and walk away from the prison of your desk, see how far you can get before you shackle yourself to your own ambition. Get. Up.

Blue eyes watch you like he’s calculating the next angle of his attack and technically you know that’s exactly the case but let’s pretend a moment he doesn’t have his claws out and you aren’t trapped in a cage for him to batter.

Delude yourself into the power you think you have, and keep him there, across the room where he cannot show you how effortlessly he strips you of it and how deeply you enjoy it.

Don’t.

You may be in bed with the mob but you are not asleep to his crimes and this is just an interim, a plan, a moment.

You stood me up, Counsel. After we made our deal.

It was a week ago and you ever-so-kindly taught me my lesson — don’t wince as you speak, don’t let him know you remember, don’t let him think you actually learned from his hand, hard against your body.

He hasn’t since, after all.

He says your name.

He says your name and your blood runs cold and you freeze by the coffee machine you keep in your office and you turn. Senator Barber is a friend.

A dangerous friend. I won’t even ask if you know his stance on —

On the Syndicate? Oh I know. I know who he shakes hands with.

Then you know why I’m asking.

Are you loyal?

Are you?

Is it loyalty that keeps you here?

Don’t let your hands shake when you look at him. Don’t let him see the slide of your eyes, the glance outside, the wondering how long before your window would be a portal and that tightrope would snap.

You are not a fool.

This. Is not loyalty.

I keep to my ethical duties, Captain.

You’re sleeping with your boss.

Oh that one makes you laugh, sharp and cruel and you do look at him then, fix your eyes onto him and raise an eyebrow and watch. All that power, all that smugness, wrapped up in one body and how does he contain it, do you know?

I believe the actual term is serving at your pleasure.

It’s back to the game, the dance, the ruse, the steps you take around each other, the blades he digs into your chest the reminders he gives you you are a whore you are a whore you are a whore and you lift your chin up, dare him to look at the bruises his lips leave on your skin and ask him in the silence and what will you do about it.

You could hate him. You do, technically. You hate that you could love him in the early hours of the morning, when his eyes seek you out and soften at the reminder you’re still here. You hate that his invasive presence in your office is a shield as much as it is a virus, a comfort in the silence and you hate most of all that the way he looks at you with that open desire women might normally have just dreamed was possible makes you want to return it.

You hate that he is dangerous. That he has bound you to him like this, chained you to the idea of his warmth and that there is a sick sort of safety in the binding.

You hate that he looks at you now with something like hope, with something like obsession, with something like vulnerability and you hate that it strips you of that cold armor as effortlessly as his hands strip you of your resistance.

And he could hate you too, in the whispers he leaves on your shoulders when he thinks you’re asleep. He could hate that you are soft, that you are sweet on his tongue that you…

Are his.

Could hate that he has thought of nothing else but the very theory of your betrayal and you know none of these things but his eyes are not so inscrutable as he thinks and so—

He twists the knife.

I talked to your Judge, by the way.

You did what?

You heard me. Interesting conversation.

Excuse me?

You really sold yourself to me for a lover’s spat, Counsel? I thought you were better than that — woman of the law and all.

A lover’s spat? That’s what he told you?

Just what would you call it, if not that?

He’s daring you, back to somewhere between smug and angry, as if disappointed you made him waste his time and all you can do is feel your heart sinking, feel yourself back in that place again, the decade-long sting of control over your body, the painful reminder of the girl you once were.

Where is he?

Did you think I’d clean up your dirty laundry for you? I’m not a breakup counselor, and you nee—

You left him alive!? The panic in your voice is so palpable it stops him in his tracks all over again, suspicious and surprised and you step back to reach for something — steady yourself steady yourself steady yourself you are not safe you are not safe you are not safe.

I’m not killing your ex-boyfriend without a good reas—

I was nineteen!

The world tilts, shifts, your knees are buckling, that’s tears in your eyes and you.

Are that girl again.

Too small, too scared, too naive to know better, too easy to mold and break and manipulate and you promised you’d never be her again, you promised you’d get her justice and you promised it wouldn’t be like this over and over again, promised he wouldn’t sink his fangs into you a third time.

What? He sounds smaller. Or is it faraway? You are too busy trying to stand, trying to still the shaking of your hands, the cold chill in your veins, too busy feeling your knees surrendering, too busy sliding to the floor and staring blankly into your memory.

Counsel. What. Did. You. Say. He repeats himself, and then he’s crouching before you, holding your chin in his hand and when did you start having tears on your cheeks for him to wipe away?

I was nineteen, you repeat, blank and broken, not seeing his brow furrow, not seeing the regret flash over his expression, I didn’t want it. I never wanted it.

What are you saying, sweetness? How dare he sound so soft? How dare he sound like he actually cares, when he’s the reason you’re here, on this floor, barely resisting your breakdown yet again?

You know better.

I was nineteen, a third time, I needed a job, something to give me experience, and he — he used me. That was my experience.

He’s starting to understand, but it doesn’t matter to you, not when you’re staring too far into the past, into a sneering face and cruel hands.

(I can ruin you or I can help you, Intern, so you make your choice. You need me.)

It never stops. Not after the first time — but you know that.

But you know that. That’s your knife, the one you twist into his chest and the realization sinks in heavy as an anchor, the thing he’s done.

The thing he’s done to you.

So why wait until now?

I would have waited forever.

You hid the letter. Hid it well enough even he wouldn’t have found it rifling through your things. Hid the threat in those typewritten words and the casual signature swept across the stationary, unaffected.

Men like him never face consequences. Only you, only the women they make use of, the ones they turn into commodities for their enjoyment. Who would care if you’d made it public, if you showed the world the kind of man he was — he was appointed for life, he was friends with the Governor, he was powerful and you were never going to be strong enough.

(You wouldn’t want anyone in the District Attorney’s office knowing just the sorts of things you’re willing to do to get your way. I can still help you be an exceptional lawyer, Intern.)

What are you? Ambition and drive and skill but what does it all mean when it can be reduced to plaything and pet project and whore.

I helped him get appointed. He helped me get into law school. Introduced me to… To Andy Barber, who calls you Sunshine and watches out for you and comes to New York despite having no power in the state just to see you again because he worries, because he cares.

You pay.

And sometimes that payment bounces back.

You pay and you pay and you pay and you struggle but what is the culmination of your strife is it the sight of you finally broken on the floor, is it the moment he’s been waiting for, dragged off your pedestal why couldn’t he have left well enough alone didn’t he know the horse was for your protection and not his pride?

No.

They never do.

They never do, do they, always so wrapped up in themselves and even now he kneels in front of you and wipes your tears but he has no words to say to atone for what he’s done and you know he can never.

I need you to leave.

The words come out without your control.

You know what you are. You are fury made flesh and you will not be manipulated again, not by the pressure of his hands on your face, not by the way he almost hugs you, he lied he lied he lied he lied.

Sweetness…

No. You don’t get to call me that. Not anymore.

You could have tolerated it. You could have accepted it you could have let yourself become the prize he took, owned his defeat by defeating you, you might even have enjoyed it but no.

No.

I held up my end of the bargain.

[calpalirwin]

Mosaic Broken Hearts

Summary: More secrets spill out the more your relationship with Bucky grows

Word Count: 4.4k

And away, and away we go!

__

Bright flashes of light, explosions, blood spattered everywhere, pain, indescribable pain. You screamed for it to stop.

“Hey,” a voice was calling out, a hand nudging at you. “Hey! Y/N! C’mon!”

You screamed louder as your eyes snapped open, scrambling to get out of bed, and promptly face planting on the floor in the process. “You have exactly five seconds to explain who the hell you are, and what the fuck you’re doing in my room before I kill you. One!” You made your voice as threatening impossible, as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position. Where the fuck was a prosthetic when you needed it? Could you kill this guy from the floor? Well… It’d be messy, but you sure as hell would try.

With your mind racing, it took a minute to register that your intruder was laughing. Why the fuck were they laughing?

“Two!”

“It’s me! It’s Bucky. You had a nightmare.”

Different flashes went through your head. Screaming in the lab for a knife. Bucky offering to carry you to your room. You asking him to stay. “Oh…”

“C’mon,” he said softly as he appeared in front of you. One of his arms went around your back, the other hooking under your left knee as he picked you up and set you back in bed. “Do you wanna talk about it, or just leave it?”

“I- Gimme a minute,” you told him, taking a series of long, slow deep breaths as the adrenaline pounding through your veins slowed. “Fuck… You’re just seeing every ounce of vulnerability I have, aren’t you?”

“Could have just as easily been me having the nightmare.”

“Only you wouldn’t have face-planted out of bed in the process. Or at least you would have been able to get up by yourself if you had,” you replied bitterly.

“Can you not play that tough guy role who has it all together all the time?”

“I dunno, let’s ask my pride.”

“I’m not going to judge you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Or think less of you, or whatever else your head is telling you I’m gonna do. You can’t scare me off, Y/N. The only thing you’re fighting here is your own pride.”

“Yes, I’m well aw-” you started, then sighed. “Thank you. I’m, uh… not used to this. So I’m probably gonna be bad at it for a while. But thank you. For staying and stuff. Now… if you wanna go ahead and be the vulnerable one for a bit, that would be fantastic.”

Bucky chuckled, his arm snaking across your shoulders to hold you loosely at his side. “I’m sure it’ll happen eventually. I’m pretty broken myself. And rumor has it you have a soft spot for broken things.”

“Aw, he pays attention, how sweet,” you teased, squishing his cheeks in your hand.

He chuckled again, and you admired the throaty sound of it. “So, the nightmare?”

You let out a sigh. “It’s always the same one. Two car accidents. Two explosions. Lots of blood. Lots of screaming. Which is ridiculous to me because one of the car accidents I wasn’t even there for. It was my parents, and I was just told about it. But I still dream about it like I was there.”

Bucky stiffened, and you assumed it was in sympathy to having nightmares about memories that weren’t your own. “And then the other accident is yours and Tony’s?”

You nodded. “Yep. My family should just stay away from cars. We don’t exactly have the best track record with them.”

“How old were you when it happened?”

“When what happened? My parents, or my leg getting blown off?”

“Both? If you feel comfortable. It’s fine if you want me to shut up.”

“No, it’s fine. I was… Let’s see… I was 11 when my parents died. And I was 28 when I lost my leg.”

“You said after your parents died you went straight into the Army. How could you do that if you were 11?”

“Okay, so I left out some steps. My parents died. I finished school. Went to Westpoint, became an officer, then got shipped overseas. All the while Tony did whatever the hell it is Tony does.”

“And you were 28 when you had your accident, which means…”

“That I’m 36, yeah. Still younger than you, even though all that time spent frozen and whatever magic in that serum slows the aging process makes you look about 32.”

“I was going to say it means we were the same age when we had our incidents. But thanks for reminding me that I’m technically 99.”

You snorted. “God, my boyfriend’s old.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Shit… Jumped to conclusions… Fuck, sorry.”

“No, don’t be. I, uh, it’s fine. It’s more than fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I happen to like you quite a bit, Y/N. In case I haven’t made that obvious.”

“Good. Cuz I happen to like you quite a bit as well.”

~~~

Waking up in the morning with Bucky’s arm thrown around you was nice in a way you didn’t expect. While your friendship with him up until this point had already made you feel better than you had in longer than you could remember, the dating part was already adding to that feeling, even though it’d only been a handful of hours since you made the change from friends to boyfriends, most of which had been spent sleeping through the night. Bucky made you feel seen in a way you weren’t used to, and while it scared you, it also thrilled you. And it was more than just being able to see you. He understood you. He understood your pain. And it didn’t scare him. It was a relief to not feel so fucking alone, or have to put up a front.

Your problem now was not wanting to wake him up. He looked so peaceful, the long locks of brown hair acting as a curtain in front of his face. You knew if those fluttering eyelids flashed open, you’d find the most stunning pair of blue eyes, which was quite the statement considering you’ve known Steve for five years. Was it an unspoken requirement that you had to be god-level hot to be a super soldier? Or did the serum do that? Either way, it was grossly unfair.

You were awake, and your stomach was growling, and now you were in a predicament. One, despite your hunger, you didn’t want to leave your bed. There was a hot man in it with his arm flung around you. Two, getting out of bed when your prosthetic limb was still in the lab wasn’t going to be an easy task, unless you woke up said hot man sleeping in your bed. Which you didn’t want to do, because A.) he looked so peaceful and B.) you knew how hard peaceful sleep was to come by, so you didn’t want to be the one to ruin it for him. But god damn, you needed food. And to get to the lab to build a new leg.

It was fine. You could do this. You could get across the room to your closet where you had a pair of crutches without waking Bucky in the process. You were the king of stealth.

Through some small miracle, you managed to make it out of your room without waking Bucky, leaving behind a small note as to where he could find you.

As you made your way to the giant kitchen area, you remembered why you usually either hid in the lab until you made a new leg, or used an office chair to scoot about the place. These crutches were a pain in the ass, beads of sweat forming on your face by the time you got to the kitchen, where you came face to face with what could possibly be your worst fucking nightmare: the full team of half awake Avengers staring at you in shock.

“Morning,” you greeted, making it the rest of the way to a countertop, and leaning on it.

Mumbles of “hey”s and “morning”s chorused back at you, with the exception of Tony who went “Kid, get a chair. With wheels.”

Peter looked up from his bowl of cereal. “Got it, Mr. Stark,” he replied before dashing off.

“Tony, that’s not really necessary,” you started. “I’m just gonna grab something and head to the lab.”

“Don’t play the stubborn hero act. It’s annoying,” was all he replied with as Peter reappeared with an office chair. “Thanks, kid. Sit, Y/N. Toast?”

“Thanks, Peter,” you smiled gratefully, easing into the chair, leaving the crutches leaning against the counter. “And yeah, toast or whatever’s fine, Tony. Thank you.”

“So cordial, are you sure you’re a Stark?” Steve teased.

“Ha-ha,” you deadpanned, scooting your way over to the table.

“Your leg okay?” he followed up with genuine concern.

“Which one?” you asked sardonically.

“Yep, definitely a Stark.”

“So hanging around the Manchurian Candidate helping you embrace amputee life finally?” Tony asked, setting a plate of toast before you.

“Actually it was an explosion that made me embrace amputee life. You were there, remember?”

“My brother, the comedian,” he said with an eye roll. “You know what I meant.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I mean I guess. It’s still not something I’m gonna go around mentioning for the hell of it. Kinda like how you don’t go around mentioning certain things.”

“Mentioning your business isn’t my business, Y/N, it’s yours.”

“I appreciate the discretion.”

“I’m sorry,” a man spoke up. “Is anyone else lost, or just me?”

“Scott, this is,” Tony started, but thought better of it. “Fuck it, it’s your business, you tell it.”

“Y/N Stark. Tony’s younger brother. Ex-military. Not an Avenger, I just live here,” you rattled off the basics. “Oh, and my right leg below the knee is fake thanks to yours truly,” you pointed at Tony. “Well, right now it’s non existent because I had to stab the prosthetic I did have. Different story, different time.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Tony interjected as people stared at him with their mouths open in shock. “I did not blow off your leg. Stark weapons did.”

“Same difference. And it wasn’t meant maliciously. Just a fact. Anyway, I’m pretty easy to find if you need me because I’m usually in the lab. Speaking of, do you need me today, Tony?”

“No, we’re fine.”

“Cool. Cuz I gotta make a new leg.”

“Aw,” Bucky’s voice pouted from behind you, “and I was starting to like carrying you around.” He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. “You could’ve woken me up,” he murmured.

“Um… what is this?” Tony asked, waving a finger between you and Bucky.

“None of your concern,” you replied bluntly.

“Bullshit it’s not. Hanging out with him is one thing, Y/N. But whatever that is, shut it down, and shut it down now.”

“I’m going to say this as respectfully as possible 1.) because we’re family and 2.) because I don’t want my morning to become more of a spectacle than it already has been. But you don’t get a say in how I live my life. You had your chance to be involved after Mom and Dad died, and you ran away from that chance. And I try really hard not to hold a grudge against you for that. And I appreciate everything you’ve done for me since our accident. But I’m a grown ass man, Tony. Who I chose to involve myself with is none of your concern.”

“Oh, so you’re fine with your new boyfriend being a mass murderer?”

You laughed. You laughed so hard you doubled over in your chair, your sides aching and tears forming in your eyes. “That’s the best fuckin’ joke I’ve ever heard!” you kept howling with laughter. “Mass murderer boyfriend, do you hear this shit? Cuz the rest of us in this room are so innocent, right? Cuz our hands aren’t covered in the blood of someone else? Oh, God! Yeah, you’re gonna have to try a lot harder than that, Tony.” You snorted. “Mass murderer. Yep. That’s a good one.”

Your brother’s eyes flashed darkly. “So, you’re aware that part of his mass murder history includes our parents? Or did Sergeant Barnes conveniently leave that out?”

You stopped laughing as you glanced upwards at Bucky. His hands were gripped tightly on the back of your chair, the knuckles on his right hand white from the force of the grip. His body was rigid, eyes screwed shut. “What?” you croaked out in a barely audible whisper.

“Yeah. The reason you got robbed of a childhood with Mom?” Tony clicked his tongue, pointing at Bucky. “Right there.”

You continued to look up at Bucky who stayed in his frozen state. “Tell me he’s lying,” you pleaded quietly. When Bucky still didn’t move, you shoved a hand into his chest. “Tell me he’s lying, Bucky!”

Slowly Bucky opened his eyes, his face, his gorgeous face, a painting of pain and sorrow. “I’m sorry…”

You hated this. You hated Tony for blowing up your life a second time. You hated Bucky for not telling you this himself. And you hated yourself for daring to believe that for once you could be happy. But you’d be damned if you’d let them see you break. You took a slow breath, sealing yourself off, the walls building around you. “I have work to do,” you said, starting to push away in your chair, but Bucky’s grip still held you in place.

“Y/N,” he said in a cracked voice. “Y/N, please.”

“You have exactly five seconds to let go of my chair, Sergeant Barnes, before I break your hands. One,”

“Y/N.”

“Two.”

“Please, let me explain.”

“Three. I swear I’ll break those hands. Metal or not.”

“Love, please don’t do this…”

“Four,” you continued to count, feeling your voice start to shake at the way he called you “love.”

He let go, and you pushed yourself quickly out of the room, not daring to look back.

~~~

In the lab, you tried to distract your brain, but it still raced. There were so many swirling parts, and you were so angry that you couldn’t pinpoint what was actually making you angry.

Footsteps and a throat clearing had you snapping up your head, body tense, not ready to face either Bucky or Tony. So when you saw it was Steve, your defenses fell. “Hey, Steve,” you greeted half-heartedly.

“Hey. How you feeling?” he asked, testing the waters as he slowly made his way to you.

“I’m not gonna bite your head off if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Don’t think I could blame you if you did. What happened back there was… intense. Tony was out of line.”

“When isn’t Tony out of line?”

“Fair point. But hey, I’m here if you want someone to scream at. Someone to help answer any of the thousand of questions running through your head.”

“I don’t want to scream at anyone. Kill Tony, maybe. But I’m kinda used to that feeling. I just… Fuck, I dunno, Steve. I don’t know what to be mad at, or about. I just know that I’m mad. Hurt. I’m hurt.”

“So start at the beginning. Work through it.”

“It’s true, right? What Tony said about Bucky?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“How long did everyone know?”

“It came out when we brought Bucky in. So a few months now. Obviously Bucky knew longer.”

“Obviously,” you snorted, then sighed. “Well, that explains Tony’s feelings towards Bucky.”

“But it’s still not an excuse for how it came out. There was a way to handle that situation and that wasn’t it. So if you want to be angry with Tony for that, you’re well within your right.”

“Oh, I’m livid. Like don’t trust myself alone in a room with him, livid. And I hate the position it puts me in. Being mad at him for telling me the truth. Sounding like an ungrateful, spoiled brat.”

“You can appreciate what Tony’s done for you while hating the circumstances that led to it. It doesn’t have to be black and white.”

“I deal in absolutes, Steve. It’s what makes the most sense to me. Facts. Fact: my parents died. Fact: Bucky caused their accident. Fact: their death shaped the way I lived my life, and the way Tony lived his. Fact: Tony’s actions ruined my life, not once, but twice now.”

“And where does that leave you with Bucky?”

You sighed. “That’s where things get convoluted. Fact: he was brainwashed as the Winter Soldier. So I can’t hold that against him. And I don’t. Me knowing Bucky caused their accident doesn’t make them less dead. So as stupid as it seems, I’m not mad about that. I’m mad he didn’t tell me himself. But even then? Part of me can still understand why he didn’t. I mean, there were things about my past I kept from him. And at what point do you drop a bomb like that?”

“So where does all of that leave you?”

“I don’t know. That’s the problem. Part of me wants to clock Tony for running his mouth. Part of me is screaming that this is exactly why I don’t let people in. And part of me is still stupidly head over heels in love with Bucky, even though I feel like my trust in him got betrayed.”

“In love with him? Does Bucky know?”

You shook your head. “We barely started dating. And I mean barely. Like it happened last night barely.”

“And now it’s already potentially over.”

“Yup…”

“Well. And you can do whatever you want with this advice. But, it sounds like the real issue is with Tony, not Bucky. So try not to confuse the two.”

“But how do I trust him, Steve? I laid everything out on the line, and he couldn’t do the same for me.”

“Sounds like you trust him just fine if you’re able to do all that. So is your real hurt, with Bucky at least, in the fact that you feel he doesn’t trust you back? I mean, and correct me if I’m wrong, but this is just my observations. You don’t let that vulnerable side of you show often, if ever. I mean, everyone back there expected you to rip Tony’s head from his shoulders and you barely raised your voice. You have a very tight control on your feelings. You have a very tight control on what you let others around you in on. So if you allowed yourself to be vulnerable to Bucky, I can understand how that powershift makes you feel out of control. I can see how any indication of him not trusting you back is a huge act of betrayal in your mind. It’s like you loaded the gun, and handed it to him yourself.”

“Have I ever told you how much you scare me with how observant you are?”

Steve chuckled. “I knew Bucky a long time before he was the Winter Soldier. He’s not gonna be the guy to let you down. But me telling you that, and you believing it are two totally different things.”

“So what do I do, Steve?”

“You gotta figure that out for yourself. But talking might be a good place to start.”

“Thanks. Seriously. This helped me a lot.”

“Anytime, Y/N.”

~~~

Your next visitor was Tony. “So…” he started, peering over your shoulder at the leg you were halfway finished with. “Break up with him yet?”

“So… find a new way to blow up my life yet?” you fired back.

His jaw clenched. “Blew up your life by telling you the truth?”

“Blew up my life by fucking ruining everything, actually. I was happy, Tony. Actually fucking happy. And you let me have that for all of what? 30 seconds?”

“So you’d rather your happiness be fake? Be a lie then?”

“It wasn’t fake, that’s the thing! Look, I get that you hate him. I get that you and Steve were at odds with each other because of Bucky. And I get that hearing the news that he’s the reason for our parents’ death doesn’t make you exactly keen on being his friend, or having him around here. But, God, Tony! There were a million different ways you, or Bucky could have clued me in on things. And of course, you went with the one that would hurt him the most, not even hesitating long enough to think about how it would hurt me in the process. I knew you were a spiteful bastard, but this is a new low, even for you. Whatever happened to ‘it’s not my business to tell’?”

“That’s why I’m here to apologize.”

“That was an apology?”

“It would be if you let me get there.”

“Well, go on then.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I let my issues with Dad get in the way of me being there for you after they died. Not that at the age I was in any way ready or capable of taking on the responsibility of looking after a kid. And I’m sorry that it led you down a path of eventually getting caught in the crossfire of my mistakes with the company. And I’m sorry for how I handled the news of you and Barnes and the subsequent fallout.”

“Wow,” was all you could come up with to say. Tony wasn’t exactly the apologetic or remorseful type. He was the “throw money at the situation in hopes it went away” type, a classic Howard Stark trait Tony had been unfortunate enough to inherit, alongside the arrogance. And yet, here he was, apologizing to you for everything. And all you could say was, “Wow.”

“Yeah, great talk. If you connect those two wires, you should be good,” he said, nodding his chin at your leg.

You looked at it, “Oh. Thanks.”

“Yep.”

“I mean it,” you said as he started to walk out. “The apology? Thanks.”

“Yeah, if we could not mention it, that’d be great.”

You let out a small laugh. “Works for me.”

~~~

Your final visitor was Bucky. “Been wondering when you’d show,” you said, as you walked around the lab, testing the newest prosthetic.

“Yeah, I, uh… would’ve been by sooner but I got caught up in a few things.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, I might have gone off on Tony after you left. And then Steve might have banned me from seeing you until I calmed down. And by the time I did that, he had already talked to you, and Tony was in here. So I talked to Steve. And… yeah.”

“You mean I missed out on another fight between you and Tony? Damn.”

“Heh, yeah… And look, I’m not here to act like an apology is going to magically make this all okay-”

“Good,” you cut him off. 

He sighed. “But I am sorry.”

“I don’t want your apology. I don’t need it.”

“Then… Could you yell at me, or something? This eerily calm thing is really freaking me out. Yell at me, Y/N. Tell me you hate me. Tell me I’m the reason you’re broken. Something. Anything.”

You paused in your small laps around the lab, looking at him in confusion. “Why would I do that? I’m not the starry-eyed prince who cries when his knight in shining armor isn’t real.”

“I- What?”

You winced at your words. “Bad analogy. I meant that I’m not the type who’s going to cry and scream every time my feelings get hurt. So if you’re waiting for that to happen, it’s not going to.”

“Y/N, please… I don’t know what to do here. I want to make this right. Tell me how.”

“There’s nothing to make right. I’m not mad at you, Bucky.”

“You’re not?”

“No! You were fucking mind-controlled for half of a god damn century. And Howard wasn’t exactly winning Dad of the Year Awards. Fuck, I can’t even find it in myself to be mad that you didn’t tell me. I’m hurt, Bucky, but I’m not mad.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you, that’s the thing. And I know. I know I had so many chances to tell you, and I didn’t. But how do you tell someone that without hurting them?”

“God damn it!” you snapped, your temper flashing before you could reel it back in. “That’s not why I’m hurt, Bucky. I’m hurt that I trust you, and you feel that you can’t trust me back. I’ve trusted you with parts of me I don't let anyone even get near. Hell, I’ve known the original crew of Avengers for five years, and today’s the first time they figured out I’m an amputee. That’s how hard it is for me to let my walls down. And I let you break them like they were nothing. And as great as it is to feel chosen for once, I cannot fuckin’ stand that it’s one-sided. Trust me back, Bucky. Let me choose you back!”

He took a step towards you. “Love, I-”

There it was again. “Love.” God, did he know what he was doing to you when he called you that? “Can’t do it? Think you’re too broken, and you’re gonna scare me off?” you asked.

“No, that’s not what I was going to say.”

“Then what were you going to say?”

“I...don’t know actually.” He took a few more steps until he was mere inches from you.

“Well, you know where to find me when you figure it out.”

You turned to leave, but his hand wrapped around your wrist, twisting you back around the strength and suddenness of the movement causing a splintering sound in your newest prosthetic while you collided into his chest, both of your eyes wide. “Shit!” Bucky swore. “Okay, that was not supposed to happen.”

“Bucky…” you growled, both in agitation that your new leg was already broken, and in slight desperation of if he didn’t hold you steady soon, you were going to face-plant into the floor.

Thankfully, he understood the hint, and more. His arms snaked around you, holding you upright while his head tilted down, his lips crushing into yours. “Please choose me back?” he whispered desperately against your mouth.

“Not choosing you back was never an option, Bucky,” you assured, your arms wrapping around his neck and deepening the kiss.

__

Tag List

@cxddlyash​ @stanofalotofthings​ @philthepegacorn​ @youngblood199456​ @binxiboo​ @creator-appreciator​ @felixtok​ @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof​ @jessalyn-jpeg​ @lilyoflower​ @mychemicalimagines​  @milea​ @partiesandblurrypolaroids​ @summerdaughter​

[outerbankswriting]

Could it be? (JJ x Reader)

Description: She has a crush on JJ, but he has always seen her as another one of the “dudes”, or  at least that’s what she thinks so she just doesn’t even try anymore, until things start to shift between the two of them. (A/N: I’M NOT GOOD AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT THESE IS JUST WHAT I WOULD LOVE TO HAPPEN IN OUTER BANKS WITH JJ)

Warnings: swearing, angst???

CHAPTER ONE

You considered yourself a lucky person. You were a Kook, you had a loving family and an amazing group of friends who you could also consider your family.

However, your parents were never approving of the extremely close bond you had with your friends since they were Pogues and you were one of the richest families compared to the rest of the Kooks.

You constantly got into heated arguments with your parents defending your friends but at the end of the day you did whatever you want, which usually meant spending every afternoon with your Pogue friends.

The sun was setting and you were spending an amazing time with your friends. Pope and JJ were pretending to fight to “practice” in case any criminals decided to get in the way. Sarah was comfortably staring at the act while being wrapped around John B’s arms and Kiara was also staring at the guys with a disapproving yet a supportive look on her face while you were just smiling at their foolishness.

“Alright so I think Sarah and I are heading back home since it’s getting pretty dark.” John B stood up from his place, helping Sarah get up and holding her hand.

“Just say you’re getting laid instead of coming up with the night bullshit man.” JJ winked at his friend and John B just shook his head, hiding the smile behind his face.

“Oh please JJ.” Sarah sighed but as you made eye contact with her, she grinned at you.

“Leave them alone JJ, it is getting dark and I think I’m leaving too.” You gulped down what was left of your beer and picked up your beach bag.

“I agree with Y/N,” Kie stood up and walked towards Pope, “walk me home?”

“You don’t have to ask.” Pope replied and interlaced his arms with Kie.

“Great, another couple getting some action tonight.” JJ sighed and Kie just gave him a look.

“Sorry dude.” Pope rubbed JJ’s shoulder and Kie immediately punched Pope’s shoulder.

“Stop crying JJ,” you went up to him, “just pick some tourist up like you always do.”

JJ mocked you and you just stuck your tongue out at him.

“She’s not lying bro.” John B added.

“Well maybe I will.” JJ shrug his shoulders and grabbed another beer.

You cleared your throat and waved goodbye at your friends before agreeing on meeting tomorrow morning for breakfast by the beach.

As you walked home you couldn’t get out of your head the thought of JJ getting it on with a stupid tourist girl. 

You knew you had given him the idea but it’s not like he wouldn’t have done it either way. JJ had always been like that. You couldn’t blame him though, he was good looking and funny, any girl would easily fall for his charms and end up on his bed.

What he didn’t know was that you sometimes wished that girl would be you.

Of course no one knew about that, not even Kiara your best friend.

JJ and you have been friends for years and you know what the two of you have is too good and special for it to be ruined by a stupid crush you have on him. You also knew it would never be possible for JJ to think of you in that way. He has always seen you as one of the dudes, or at least that’s what you’ve always thought. He always told you about the girls he slept with and even about his old (but now gone) little crush on Kiara.

You didn’t mind that much though, because at least that had brought you closer to him. JJ’s friendship with you was something he didn’t have with neither John B nor Pope. He trusted you more than the guys and you were always the first person he would run to or tell things to no matter what.

After getting home and taking a long refreshing shower, you sat down on your bed reading your book to distract your thoughts from the fact that all of your friends (especially JJ), but you were getting laid.

You were about to finish a chapter of your book until you heard something hit your window, but you quickly ignored it blaming it on the wind. You got back to reading until multiple knocks on your window made you put down the book and take a look.

As you turned on the flashlight from your phone to see better outside, you saw your blonde friend waving at your window.

You quickly made your way downstairs to let JJ in. You were a little worried since you had no idea what would make him come to your place almost at midnight when he was supposed to be banging some girl.

“I don’t have any condoms.” You joked once you opened the door but the smile on your face faded away as soon as you saw JJ’s face covered in blood and his hand covering his stomach.

“JJ what ev-“

“Shhh!” JJ shushed you. “I don’t want your parents to know I’m here.”

“They’re not even here,” you replied and grabbed his hand to lead him upstairs, “they’ll be gone for the week for some business thing.”

“Oh so you’re home alone?” He managed to wink even with a black eye.

“Oh shut it and tell me what happened.”

“I’m alright,” he smiled, “I just wanted to know if you could let me borrow your phone to call John B and tell him I’m staying with him so I don’t have the unfortunate luck of running into him banging Sarah.”

“What happened to yours?” You asked, not believing he was alright at all.

“It died.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“God Y/N, why are you always so stubborn?” JJ sighed, “My phone died.”

“I don’t care about your phone.”

“Of course you don’t.”

“I care about the blood covering your face.”

JJ looked down on the floor and just shook his head.

“Did you run into Rafe again?” You bit your lips. 

Rafe Cameron was your ex boyfriend and also the worst kind of Kook you could meet. 

He’s always getting into fights with your friends, especially because of the fact that you spend all your time with them while he’s still into you.

“No, not really.”

You looked at JJ as he was trying to speak but then went silent. You grabbed your first aid kit and wiped the blood off his face.

“JJ,” you paused as you gently grabbed his cheek to clean it up, “who did this?”

He stared into your eyes, his were filled with tears which made your heart shrink. You had never seen him look so hurt, so vulnerable.

“My father.” He whispered almost as if he did not want you to hear.

You felt the blood rush to your head. You knew JJ’s father was impulsive and hot-headed since JJ constantly talked about his disagreements with him, but you would’ve never thought the one person who was supposed to protect and take care of him, would beat him up this way.

“JJ-“

“Please don’t tell anyone.” His voice trembled and he avoided eye contact with you.

“I won’t.” You replied and finished aiding his face.

You noticed his hand kept pressing over his stomach.

“Take off your shirt.” You demanded.

“Never thought I would hear you say that.” He managed to smirk even with tears in his eyes.

“JJ I’m not playing.” You said seriously and he bit his lip, slowly taking off his shirt as he whimpered in pain.

You saw the multiple purple and red bruises on his stomach and felt sick. Your own eyes filled with tears but you quickly wiped them away to not let JJ know.

“This can’t keep happening.” You were angry.

“I’ll be alright.” He just shrugged.

“No JJ,” you shook your head, “I won’t allow it.”

“Oh yeah?” He chuckled, “What are you going to do? Fight him?”

“Maybe.” You said with a straight face but he just laughed. 

He secretly loved that about you. 

How you were also quick tempered and never afraid to speak your mind and stand your ground, but even though he knew how much you cared about him, he would never allow you to get near his father.

“Can I call John B now?” He sighed.

“No.”

“Uh? I kinda need a place to sleep that’s not my house.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why you’re staying here with me.”

------------------------------------

CH.2

A/N: would absolutely love to hear your opinions about this!!! let me know if you’re liking it so I can post the second chapter.

[nicka-nell]

How you celebrate your New Year

Pairing: Ushijima x reader Tendou x reader Warning: a bit of toxic relationship with parents?

The cool air of the air conditioner tickles your skin, while the seat heater warms your back and makes you relax. The radio can only be heard quietly, as a newscaster talks about the New Year, which is soon to come.

“My father’s in town for work, so he’ll probably be here for dinner this year.” Although his words are addressed to you, he does not turn his gaze from the road, does not take his hands off the wheel for a second.

Somewhat surprised you look at his, as always quite monotonous look, ask yourself why he has not told you something about it before and not only now, when you are already on the way to his mother.

He hadn’t seen his father in a long time. Now that you’re thinking about it, you’ve never seen his mother and his father together until now. Do they make up? How does Ushijima feel about seeing his parents reunited?

“Are you happy to see your father again, Toshi?” Attentively you check his gaze, try to elicit a reaction from him, but he still looks the same as before. 

“He’s my father. It’s too much to say I’m happy to see him again, but it’s not bad.” Ushijima is accustomed to not seeing his father often, but since he no longer lives with his parents, but with you, he also rarely sees his mother. Because through his career, he travels a lot, doesn’t have the time. Most of the time you are alone with his mother when there are celebrations or she needs help.

Completely immersed in your thoughts, you do not notice that the car is already slowing down; you drive into a small avenue full of snow-covered trees.

Like small diamonds, the snow glistens on the branches, while the road under the white snow is barely visible. His mother’s house can already be seen when Ushijima parks the car and comes to your side to open the door and grab your hand.

He’s wearing his black suit, a purple tie that matches your dress. “Let’s go, my love.” His voice is so deep, quiet in your ears, while his large hand lies on your small back.

The snow crunches under your shoes as you arrive at his mother’s doorstep and the ringing of the bell is heard. A few seconds later, you hear footsteps, and a woman opens the door with a strict bun.

“Wakatoshi, Y/n, good to see you. Come in, my child.” She greets you both with a narrow smile before the door opens wide and invites you in. 

You take off your shoes, hang up your jackets before Ushijima’s father welcomes you and is happy to see his son, and especially his son’s girlfriend again.

You have little time to talk, because you are asked by Ushijima’s mother directly to the table, should start eating before it gets cold. “Y/n my child, please sit on the other side. Otherwise, Wakatoshi always pushes his hand against your arm. You know, he always eats with his left hand. Just like his father taught him...” 

Her voice is almost reproachful as her gaze wanders to the side of her former husband, who has just sat down at the table. He breathes deeply before he crosses his hands and looks at her as calm as possible.

“I didn’t raise him like that, I kept his talent.”, “His talent… So he can start a volleyball career like you? Just look at him. He may be famous, but he’s never there for his girlfriend. He’s never with his mother. He never has time! He won’t stay young forever. What does he do when he’s old? What money should he live on? This volleyball career is not right for him! How can he be there for his family? They still don’t have kids, just look how long they’ve been together!” Her voice gets louder with every word.  

Her anger is palpable, as if she regretted not having prevailed at that time. That Ushijima was not raised up to be a right-handed man, as it should be. He should have learned a sensible profession, should already be married and should already have children, instead he travels the world while leaving you alone at home. She shouldn’t have let her ex-husband get away with this.

“Now stop… He can still be a coach. Besides, it’s not an issue for the New Year’s dinner.” Unlike her voice, his is calm and collected. The situation is getting more and more unpleasant for you, actually you want to say something, but you don’t dare.

Something lost, you look over to Ushijima looking from his parents in your direction. His gaze is still emotionless, but his hand moves under the table to yours, squeezing it tightly before stroking your back with his thumb.

Every time he sees you, he feels his heart beat differently, and how his mind changes. When you laugh, give him a breathtaking smile, he can barely control himself and unconsciously returns your smile.

You’re everything to him, not seeing you happy, makes him unhappy. He knows he’s not the best boyfriend, that you’d probably be happier with another man by your side. A man who comes home every day, supports you in the household and in raising children.

But he’s too stubborn to admit that he doesn’t want to be without you, he can’t be without you. Because you’re the woman who’s different from everyone else. The woman who understands him. The woman he wants to carry in his hands, who is to carry his children.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners… That was inappropriate of me, let’s eat.” During the meal, only the chopsticks can be heard that meet the bento boxes in front of you and begin to clap. It’s so quiet that you could drop a needle. Quiet with tension.

After the meal, you thank his mother for preparing such a delicious meal before she clears the table and the plates. “As a coach, he’s just not home.” She calls to her former husband as she comes out of the kitchen back into the dining room and looks at him, frowning. “Do you want to start this topic again? I think it’s better if I go and you guys just party alone. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to come here.” 

But before Ushijima’s father can manage to get up, it is Ushijima who moves his chair backwards and gets up from the table. You feel your chair being pushed backwards, Ushijima’s hands resting on your shoulders, warming your skin beneath them.

“Mother, the food was really delicious. However, I am not feeling well today. I think it’s better if Y/n and I go home now. I’m very sorry we can’t spend the evening with you. Mother, Father, goodbye.” 

Quietly he looks into your three astonished faces, sees his father just lowering his head, sighing, as if he wanted to apologize. Ushijima helps you up before his parents can react to his sudden announcement.

Quickly you say goodbye to the two before Ushijima’s hands pull you into the hallway, hold out your jacket so you can slip in before he puts on his and you put on your shoes to leave the house with a last “Goodbye.”

Until the car you are silent, do not talk even after Ushijima has already started driving. You know he’s not feeling sick, but that he was avoiding this conversation, this unnecessary argument. 

However, it is better to leave him alone for now. To give him time until he opens up from within you. You look thoughtfully out of the window when you notice Ushijima making a wrong turn at a crossroads. “Toshi we have to go to the other-” 

“I know.” Almost chilly, his voice cuts off your words before stopping at a place you know. Again he opens the door for you, helps you out of the car before you look at him questioning.

“What are we doing here, Toshi?” You want to know, but instead of answering you, he puts his hand on your lower back and sets you in motion, looking forward.

“We haven’t been to a temple or a shrine. Haven’t wished us something for the New Year, haven’t prayed yet.” For a while you still wander through the snow, your cheeks tingle slowly, your nose is cold and you see how your breath becomes visible.

Arriving in front of a small shrine, you already see many people standing in front of it who want to pray to ask for happiness and health. You too stand at the shrine before Ushijima takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

You follow him, pray for his health that he will not get any injuries, that he will continue to enjoy volleyball and that he will continue to be so successful. That he keeps coming back healthy, has no worries, and that you can keep making him happy.

You open your eyes, look over to Ushijima, who is also about to open his, and notices in the corner of your eye you are looking at him. “What did you wish for, Toshi?” You ask with a bright smile, but don’t get an answer. 

With a sigh, he puts himself behind you, takes you firmly in his arm while he lovingly kisses your hairline. He doesn’t care if people are staring at you. He doesn’t care if they talk about you. He just wants to feel your closeness. Smell your scent, hear your laugh and enjoy the time he has with you.

He still won’t let go of you, putting his chin down on your head while his broad upper body rests against your back. “I have wished for us to be a real family, you, me, our future children… The noble family Ushijima. One who is together and not as divided and separated as my parents. I want you to stay by my side. I want you to be happy, shine next to me, and we to look to our future together.” 

Even when it’s cold outside, you’ll notice how his words warm your entire body. Your vision suddenly blurry and a fiery liquid runs down your cheeks. These words that are so unbelievably pure, serious but also loving.

You almost don’t notice the ringing of the bells in the background, which makes the New Year come true for everyone, so that the people get to wish themselves all the best for the New Year.

“Happy New Year to you, my love.” Ushijima whispers in your ear, your body still pressed against his before you turn around and look up at him. 

With the warmest smile you can give him, you face him, see how he looks down at you with a thin smile before you wrap his cheeks with your hands and give him a kiss full of love. “Happy New Year, my bear.” 

You’re nervous about getting out of Tendou’s car. Take a deep breath of the cold air before you exhale and try to calm down. This is the first time you met with his parents. And then on such an important day.

They probably don’t want you around because New Year’s Eve is a family celebration. You’ve been together with Tendou a long time, but his parents don’t know you.

“Hey, paradise, why are you looking like that? Are you nervous~?” He hums and tilts his head aside to look at you with a wide grin and narrow eyes. He seems as calm as ever, loose as if he has no worries.

“You really don’t have to be nervous. My parents are anything but a prime example of an intact family. So relax.” He giggles before he knocks on his parents’ door, his slim fingers wrapped around yours.

Almost as if someone had been waiting at the door for your knocking, the door opens at an incredible speed. A tall man comes out, thinly built, who looks first to Tendou and then down to you.

His look is not unfriendly, rather surprised and almost overwhelmed. “So you were serious when you said you were bringing your girlfriend?” Says the man in front of you, who must have been Tendou’s father by appearance.

And before Tendou can answer him, he bends forward, looks at you and frowns in confusion. “You really are a beautiful woman. How much did he pay you to play his girlfriend?” 

Speechless from his rude words, your gaze sweeps over to Tendou, who just clicks annoyed with his tongue. “As friendly as ever, eh, Father?” Tendou just laughs, and pulls you past his father to go into the house.

The house is chilly, almost as cold as outside, when you take off your jacket and grab your arms with stiff fingers. But the cold air does not bounce on your skin for a long time, because it is wrapped in just a few seconds by the soft cotton fabric of Tendou’s sweater.

With big eyes you look into his red ones, see his warm smile, and his naked arms now that he’s only standing in his T-shirt in front of you. “I don’t want you to freeze.” 

“But aren’t you cold, Satori?” You worry, but he just shakes his head and pushes you into the dining room, where some food has already been placed on the table.

The closer you get to the dining room, the more the fresh breeze disappears until the scent of food completely envelops you. Tendou’s mother is just about to put the plates on the table as she turns around to greet Tendou and looks at you both with a warm smile.

Unlike his father, she hides her surprise well at first, but can’t help but wonder if you’re really his girlfriend. More and more you understand why Tendou didn’t want you to meet his family for so long.

If you saw the two of them in a photo, you would think that they are wonderful people who would make great parents, but apparently they are not. 

Even if Tendou has no grudge against his family, it begins with every question, at every glance, to grow with you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just so unusual to see Satori with someone other than Ushijima. Especially if it’s a beautiful woman like you. What’s your name again, my child?” 

His mother apologizes to you with a warm smile and for a moment doubts arise in you whether you really were wrong and her previous words were just chosen unhappily.

Silently you mumble your name, returning her smile when it becomes even wider for your shy answer. 

She asks you both to come to the table, also calls her husband, who watched Tendou and you from the door frame with his arms crossed. But you were wrong to think that his family had expressed themselves unhappily, because at dinner they question you like in an interrogation.

“Now, be honest, if you’re really together with him, tell us why? Why our son? He’s not popular. I think he just has this one friend in his children’s sports club, and let’s be honest, Satori is a bit peculiar.” Laughs his father a little incredulous, before his gaze wanders to his son, who has not said a word yet, eating his food with a buzzing.

It hurts you to see him like this, to know that these words only hurt him, to know that he’s just pretending that they do not touch him, but you of all people know how fragile he can be sometimes.

“Yes, I would also like to know why such a lovely, intelligent and probably popular girl like you chose someone like Satori. You could have something so much better, you’re playing in a whole different league.” Now his mother also interferes, who looks at you with big eyes.

You would like to yell at them now, but instinctively you seek the gaze of Tendou, trying to calm down. But when you look at him, you see his constantly wide smirk as he gets up from the chair and stretches his arms once with a loud growl.

“I’m getting some fresh air. It’s really too warm here. Be right back.” He mumbles to himself and disappears from the room. Just now he lets you and his parents look back on the now closed dining-room door, before they look at you again.

Did he go out because he can’t hear any more of this? Because those words hurt him? His family is the one who’s weird, who’s mean and not him.

And just as his mother wants to open her mouth again, you hit your hands on the table and stand up. “Stop! Both of you! Do you hear yourselves? Don’t you love your son? Aren’t you proud of him? Satori is a wonderful man, he is so caring, attentive, lovable and funny. He gives me so much love and security, I can’t give him that much back. And his volleyball club is not a children’s club! Have you never seen one of his games? How strong his team is! How incredible Satori is?” 

You yell at them, and you don’t care what they think of you now, whether they want to throw you out and never see you again. But you won’t let these people deal with Tendou like that.

“Satori has more friends than just Wakatoshi. Nevertheless, Wakatoshi is his best friend, the person with whom he gets along best. You should be ashamed that you know so little about your own son! That you talk so bad about him, even though he’s so wonderful! You’re the weird ones, not Satori! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get some air!” 

You almost yell when you leave his parents completely amazed but also with an abashed expression and grab your jacket, put on your shoes and go to Tendou.

Through the open window, he could hear every word of you, yet self-doubt arises in him as he leans from the outside against the facade and looks into the cloud-free sky, which slowly gets dark. Of course, his parents are right about you being wonderful, and he knows that best himself.

But is it really so wrong to have you with him? Does he really keep you from finding someone better? Someone like Ushijima? Now that he’s thinking about it, he’s really not good for you. You’d always be confronted with why you’re with a weird guy like him.

“Hey, my lollipop, are you okay?” Your tender, calm voice makes him look away from above, in your direction, as you approach him and reach for his hands.

They are freezing cold, taking away the heat from your hands in just a few seconds. “Satori, your hands are so cold…” Your fragile, sad voice resounds as you press your both hands against your cheek. He was probably already cold in his parents’ house, after all, he had given you his sweater, and even now he only wears an autumn coat.

“Huh... really? I didn’t notice…” He replies, and even when he smiles at you, his voice is sad. Makes you feel bittersweet. “Satori, your parents are wrong about everything. You’re wonderful, and I can’t put it into words how much I love you. Only you! And I will always only love you…” 

You try to reach out to his inner self with your words. To touch his heart and at least warm his body from the inside if you can’t do it from the outside. You must think of Tendou’s words back when you first met. He told you he could read you like an open book.

And now he’s the one you can read, analyze, and understand. Even though you said little, it was enough to put a smile on his face to turn you around and take you in his arms.

Playfully he cuddles himself in the crook of your neck, tickles your cheek with his red hair before he closes his eyes and enjoys your closeness. However, he opens his mouth after just a few breaths and revels in old memories with you.

How you tried to explain Ushijima how to use emojis correctly. How he had saved Ushijima from giving you probably the worst birthday present, as he wanted to give you a huge pillow with the inscription “Y/n loves Satori very much”.

Instead, you got a sweet cactus from him, which had a red flower on top and somehow reminds you of Tendou, which is why you also named it Tendou.

Or also the fact that every Wednesday you watch your favorite baking program together, make fun of some dishes and others want to bake a day later directly.

And also how excited he was when you had your first actual date and he had to go to the doctor a day later because he sat down on an anthill.

With every flashback your smile gets bigger and bigger, also makes Tendou laugh sincerely, while he still braces you in his arms. Still with tears of joy in your eyes, you ask him if you want to go back in, but he just shakes his head.

“I have another idea. Come on, we can also wish my parents a happy new year on the phone.” He whispers to you as his breath forms a light mist through the cold.

Somehow you can understand that he doesn’t want to go back in, yet you ask him if you should at least say goodbye. But again he shakes his head.

Both of you sit down in his car, when you automatically turn on Tendous seat heating, so that hopefully he gets warmer again soon. “Some music~?” He hums with his usual cheerful voice as he pulls out a few CDs from his driver’s side.

Grinning, you nod, tap on a CD that Tendou, with a click of the plastic sleeve, pushes into the CD drive. Slowly it glides in as the first track begins and the loud rock music rings through your ears. 

Anything but Christmas music. But if you’re being honest, neither of you are the traditional person or couple celebrating Christmas. 

Together you sing the songs that you already know by heart up and down. Remember the concerts you were at and make the whole car shake until Tendou slows down and stops at a cliff.

His thin, long hands reach for the turning wheel to make the music quieter as he smiles at you before he looks forward. “Do you remember?” He asks quietly and contentedly with a dreamy face.

After all, your gaze drifts from Tendou’s face, to the front, to the cliff from which the entire city can be seen.

The sky is now dark as the night, while the bright lights of the houses illuminate it again. How could you ever forget this place? The place where Tendou asked you to be his girlfriend? The place the two of you kissed the first time that had gotten you so many butterflies in your stomach. Never could you forget this place or his words. 

“I can read you like an open book, and yet I’m afraid of your reaction, but do you want to be my girlfriend?” You repeat his words and look at him with a smile.

His eyes grow big, his joy huge as he nods hastily. “Exactly my words, you really are the best Y/n~!” He sings again before he bends over to you and cuddles you like a little cuddly animal.

You laugh out loud before he loosens his grip on you and looks at you in silence. You almost don’t hear the bells that open the New Year, yet they softly find their way into your ears.

“Happy New Year, my lollipop.” You whisper before you kiss him gently. And as your lips separate, Tendou turns his head to the side, back to the back seat, before his gaze lands on yours again, his fingers at your chin making you look into his eyes. 

His red eyes, full of excitement. “What do you say we start the New Year by ringing a few other bells, my paradise?” He breathes hungrily, before you both chuckle in a conspiracy, when you strip his seat belt off. 

“So… Let’s ring those other bells.”

[veliseraptor]

hi so i was Thinking about the yi city crew (as you do) and i was wondering: under slightly different circumstances in which xxc realizes xy's identity right when he finds him in the ditch (and there are many ways that could happen honestly), would things still go well for them?

because on the one hand, 1) xxc would never leave a severely wounded person to die and 2) xxc is cannonically fine with crime as long as you're cute (a-qing and the vegetable stall moment with xy), which can result in a slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers situation (good luck for everyone involved when song lan arrives and realizes his best friend and ex boyfriend slept with the guy who killed his temple)

but on the other hand, when xxc finds xy in the ditch he's just had a very, VERY nasty breakup with his boyfriend because of the hooligan currently lying in the ditch so????

AND it all relies on whether or not xy knows that xxc knows who he is, me thinks, so???????

what? are your thots? on this?

my initial thought is “this sounds like a fantastic au and I know I’m not the only one who thinks so because I have seen a couple variants of this on ao3, some of which I’ve read and others of which I haven’t.”

because yeah, this is one of those ones where Xiao Xingchen like. runs headlong into a moral dilemma. because you’re right! he can’t leave him to die, that is just...not something he can do. actively cannot make that one work with his sense of what is right and just. so his first instinct would be, I think, to keep him alive, nurse him back to health (while keeping him carefully under guard and probably restrained) and then remand him to an authority for punishment.

but also...at this point especially Xiao Xingchen’s ability to have faith in people in authority is pretty dented if not actively gone (after what he saw happen with the Jin, and in CQL verse you could even count the failure of the Nie to keep track of him), and there’s also something that doesn’t sit quite right with him, I think, about healing someone only to turn them in for probable execution, that feels - weird, and kind of bad, and hypocritical, almost? because of course that’s how things work, that’s the machinery of justice, but also...he’s seen that the “justice” of cultivation society can be a farce, and would I think be concerned about giving Xue Yang over to anyone not a cultivator, out of concern that he’d wiggle out of it. 

so maybe he should just take him directly there? but that also feels weird, and kind of bad, because if he’s going to do that is that any better than just letting him die to begin with? who does it really serve to turn his death over to someone else in an active sense when the end is the same, and he will have done nothing either to harm or to help. sometimes inaction is better than action. 

but leaving someone to die.

anyway I think ultimately because he’s having a Hard Time making a decision he’s like “okay well I can’t...do the leaving him to die thing so I guess I deal with that first and then figure it out???” and I do not think he would keep it from Xue Yang when Xue Yang comes around that he knows what’s up. at this point I don’t think he would want to, because he’s trying to make an informed decision and he feels like part of that informed decision is making sure everyone present knows what’s going on. and also he’s kind of hoping I think that Xue Yang will say or do something that will make things clearer for him.

which...Xue Yang doesn’t. obviously. Xue Yang is not here to make things easier for anyone! and he is especially not going to make it easier for Xiao Xingchen when he is in a position of vulnerability in front of an enemy, no thank you. if this is the end of the road he’s going to make it as unpleasant as possible. and even if he is probably severely limited in what he can actually do physically (between being hurt, having been thoroughly disarmed, and probably restrained as well), he can still talk! and boy can Xue Yang talk.

and I think there are two possibilities here.

(a) he goes for provocation. if he’s going down - and it’s pretty clear he’s going down, to Xue Yang’s eyes! - then Xiao Xingchen is goddamn well going to do it himself. no magistrates, no great sects, if you want him dead, Daozhang, then make it you who does it. which means digging into Xiao Xingchen’s wounds as hard as possible in order to piss him off, which he can be pretty good at since he left most of them! and there’s so many easy possibilities. he can go after Xiao Xingchen’s failure to help Song Lan, the fact that Song Lan got fucked up because of him. he can go after how Xiao Xingchen can never go home because he was stupid and naive and shouldn’t have come down to begin with. he can go after how Xiao Xingchen didn’t stop him before so really, isn’t it his fault that he got a chance to kill more people, and trust me, Xiao-daozhang, I’ve killed a lot of people-

whether this works or not is an open question. I think it could go either way, honestly - Xiao Xingchen is pretty stubborn and it’ll be pretty obvious, probably, what Xue Yang is trying to do, and he doesn’t want to be directly responsible for killing another human being (hypocrite, coward, Xue Yang says, you’ll just be indirectly responsible, is that better?). he’s had some time to think and that means he’s less likely to make impulsive or emotional decisions. 

on the other hand, Xue Yang is really good at provoking people and knows exactly where to hit to get a reaction.

the other possibility, though, is

(b) Xue Yang’s sense of self-preservation wins out. Xiao Xingchen hasn’t killed him yet. Xiao Xingchen is soft-hearted and weak and moral and doesn’t want to kill someone. 

and he can work with that. he can push the angle that he’s just going to be responsible for Xue Yang’s death anyway if he turns him over to someone else, and how is that better, how is that any different? why bother patching him up in the first place if that’s how it’s going to go? 

he can push the angle of having seen the error of his ways because look, his bad actions came to a bad end, isn’t that sad, betrayed by his own masters, etc. etc. this is not Xue Yang’s strong point - performing remorse is not something he does - but he could make an effort. connected to this, he can push Xiao Xingchen on how it’s not going to fix anything, sure, he’ll be dead but what changes, everything is still fucked, so really what’s the point. alive he can - uh, what’s the word - atone for his wickedness and, you know. help people. that shit.

he can go for time. play weak, keep stringing Xiao Xingchen along looking for an opportunity, putting off the reckoning until he figures a way out, and he’s pretty good at finding those.

lots of possible ways to go with that. all of them absolutely cynical and selfish and designed to play on Xiao Xingchen’s vulnerabilities - and later on, as he recognizes it, his loneliness and need for companionship. 

and that’s where the slow-burn enemies to lovers comes in. which would be a lot messier and harder and probably more fucked up than in canon, because at least to start with it would almost certainly be Xue Yang taking advantage of Xiao Xingchen’s loneliness and playing him accordingly, but - as evidenced in canon! - it is perilously easy for Xue Yang to slip into whoops feelings. 

Xiao Xingchen in this would be the harder one. because there is so much baggage there, and hurt, and his guard is up in a way it isn’t in canon, and he’s very much more cognizant of the danger he’s in, the danger a-Qing is in, the risk he’s taking.

but Xiao Xingchen is also lonely, and does want to believe the best of people as a general rule, and it’s very hard to be constantly vigilant, particularly when the threat comes from a sweeter direction than anticipated.

because Xiao Xingchen is expecting Xue Yang to try to escape, or try to hurt him or a-Qing, or try to hurt someone else. he’s not expecting him to try to get closer.

anyway I’ve now effectively talked myself into another longform Yi City AU and. jotting this one down I guess. fuck.

[bubblesuga]

Leave Me Lonely

A/N: I’m mad so here’s some angst that turned into smut :)

Prompt: The reader broke up with Yoongi six months ago. Just as she feels like she’s able to move on, he pops up on her doorstep with watery eyes and whiskey laced breath.

Warnings: alcohol, angsty yoongi, cussing, crying, squirting, unprotected sex (don’t do this), mentions of Plan B, oral (F receiving), riding, yoongi and the reader are a mess and don’t know what to do 

Yoongi didn’t know what he was doing here, or how he ended up here. He just knew that he drank a little too much, and his feet carried him from the bar to here. 

Your apartment. 

He could navigate his way here with his eyes closed, which he practically did because he had no idea how he got here. The alcohol running through his veins was thanks in part to the lovely members in his band, insisting on celebrating their comeback with a lot of drinks and food. Unfortunately for him, that also meant that the alcohol was breaking down a barrier that he built up months ago when the two of you broke up. 

It burned. He already had frustrated tears in his eyes just staring up at your balcony, debating whether or not it was actually worth it to walk up the stairs and knock on your door. 

Sober Yoongi would stop him. Sober him would rationalize the break up, saying that there was no reason to bother you and that you more than likely had already moved on with your life especially with how quickly you managed to cut him off. 

Drunk Yoongi is a different story though. Drunk Yoongi is mad that you left him so easily, seemingly unscathed by putting him through one of the worst things he had ever experienced. Drunk Yoongi is upset that you left when he needed you most, when you were the one thing holding him up from barreling into a whirlwind of depression and anxiety. Drunk Yoongi is sad, because sober him loves you still. 

Annoyed, Yoongi reaches up and wipes the tear that slipped from his eye. Namjoon was probably already looking for him, and he knew that he should get back before the cops were called, but with ever step backward he was taking two steps forward until he eventually found himself gripping the railing of the stairs. 

“Fuck.” He mutters to himself, taking one last glance downward before he began his ascent up the stairs. 

The third floor seemed to take way longer to get to than before. Maybe it was the way his feet collided with the edge of every step or his hand having to constantly catch himself from stumbling backward. Through the perseverance of his stubborn mind, he made his way up the stairs and with out thinking about it twice, he knocked on your door. 

Well, pounded. He pounded on your door. 

“(Y/N),” he whined, his voice husky, “please open up.” 

The pounding turned to gentle taps when he felt his eyes grow heavy, leaning his face against the door while his finger nails tapped against the door. 

Just as he was about to give up, to stumble his way back down the stairs and forget that this whole thing happened by morning, he felt the weight of the door shift and before he knew it, he was on the ground in the doorway of your apartment. 

“Yoongi?!” You yell, stepping backward when you heard the thud of his body hitting the ground. 

Yoongi groans loudly, picking himself up off the ground, “Your apartment is cold.” 

You roll your eyes, “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

Yoongi could already tell that this was a mistake. Okay, maybe he knew that it was a mistake before but his internalized fight with himself was much too loud for him for him to comprehend anything that was actually happening. 

“I-” he groans as he grabs his head, “I wanted to see you.” His eyes traveled up from the floor to your face. You still looked the same, but now you had lighter hair and it was longer than before. Your face was still the same though, the concerned curve of your brow still rested above your eyes whenever Yoongi did something stupid. God damn, though, you were still just as beautiful. 

“Why? Why on Earth would you think that coming here was okay, Yoongi?” 

Even your voice was the same. The way your lips pursed and the curve of your tongue while you scolded him was still the same. It hit him, the familiarity of you was the reason he was here. He spent so much of his 20s traveling the world that the concept of having a ‘home’ was indescribable. His home was you, because everywhere he went he had you to lean back on, the scent of your Strawberry conditioner in his nostrils and your laughter filling his ears. 

“Because I miss you.” Yoongi shrugged, plopping onto the couch. Your jaw dropped, throwing your hands up in the air as you kicked the door closed. It was close to midnight, you had work in the morning, and you had your ex-boyfriend sat on your couch with red-rimmed eyes. 

“We’re broken up.” You whisper, sitting opposite of him and allowing your face to fall into your hands. 

“Why?” He questions. 

“Why what?” 

“Why are we broken up?” Yoongi’s eyebrow raised in question, his hands clasped together in front of him. His mouth was dry while looking at you, the feeling of having you close yet again was somewhat overwhelming. 

“I told you,” you clench your jaw, “your life was too hectic for me. I couldn’t keep up, I just wanted a sense of normalcy.” 

“Normalcy?” Yoongi scoffs, his earlier anger returning, “You want fucking normal? You think I asked for all this shit to be thrown at me? That’s fucking laughable, that you think I wanted this.” 

“Yoongi, I-” 

“No, let me talk for once,” he stands, throwing his hands around wildly, “you walked out on me because you wanted to be normal? How fucking boring.” 

You swallowed, the sting of his words setting in while you stared at the floor.

“What happened to the woman I fell in love with when we were 20 years old? Where did she go? She was willing to go on every adventure with me, she was there for me when I spent hours upon hours recording and re-recording songs that I wrote, about her might I add, and came home exhausted. She was the one who helped me navigate fame!” Yoongi was yelling now. Although it had been six months without you, his anger was just as futile. He hadn’t allowed himself to feel anything in so long. 

“And what about me?” You spoke quietly, your eyes not leaving the floor. 

“What do you mean, what about you?” Yoongi’s fists clenched and the stench of whiskey was far stronger than you realized before. 

“Well, you sat there saying all the things I did for you. How I was your rock, and I helped you with everything. What about me, Yoongi? You were so caught up in your own feelings that you never stopped to think about how it was affecting me. To be entirely honest,” your nails dug into the palms of your hands while you were trying to prevent yourself from getting in his face, “it was exhausting to try and help you through it while never having any help myself. A relationship is a two way street, and you seem to forget that part.” 

Yoongi was quiet again, sitting back down slowly on the couch while an emotion you couldn’t read was on his face. Immediately, he brought his nails up to his teeth, gnawing anxiously at them. Fuck, he thought, I’m an idiot. 

“Well?” You gesture to him, your eyebrows raised.

He didn’t respond. 

“I don’t even now why I’m entertaining this conversation. I’ll let you crash on my couch tonight but I want you out once your sober enough to get home. I’m going to sleep.” You speak, standing up from the ottoman. You went to your closet and grabbed a pillow and blanket, taking it out to Yoongi who still sat in the same position you left him in a few moments ago. 

Placing the pillow at the edge of the couch, you couldn’t help but feel your heart hurt for the man beside you. You knew that navigating the world of the suddenly famous was difficult, you watched it happen for years, and it took a toll on you as well. You were mentally exhausted, and you never felt like you could talk to Yoongi about your problems because his seemed to be so much more. You felt foolish if anything to try and compare your co-worker yelling at you to Yoongi’s legs giving out from practicing for 12 hours straight. 

Wordlessly, you pat the pillow to soften it, giving him one last glance and turning away while you heard the crack of his teeth biting into a nail. Old habits die hard. 

~*~*~

Yoongi tried his hardest to sleep, but when six in the morning rolled around, he realized there was no use. 

Leaning over to the notebook on the table beside the couch, he flipped to an open page and began writing. If there was anything he was good at, it was putting his words to paper. 

It felt like he was writing for hours, his mind clouding over with thoughts of you as he wrote. Sober now, he had the ability to properly reflect on the words that you were saying last night. It was difficult to discern last night. He was listening, and he heard every word, but he couldn’t get passed the tone that you were using. It was so mature, like you had aged mentally in the six months more than you had in the entirety of your relationship. He feared that he was the one holding you back from your full potential. 

After what seemed like ages, he placed the pen on top of the open notebook on your coffee table, and stood. His feet took a moment to carry him out the door, but he made sure to lock it as he left, hoping you wouldn’t just throw away the note without reading it. 

It didn’t take long for you to wake up after that, stretching your limbs before remembering the events of last night. Quickly, you hopped out of bed and rushed to the living room, scanning the area of the slept in empty couch. 

You sighed, but you weren’t sure if it was in relief or disappointment. Despite everything that happened last night, you still thought it was nice to see him. You had yet to admit it to anyone but yourself, but you missed him. 

You walked towards the coffee table, grabbing the notebook curiously and beginning to read. 

I’m sorry. 

It’s probably better for me to start it off like that than with anything else. I’m an idiot, and I’m so sorry for that. I was so caught up in everything happening that I never stopped to take the time to see how it may be affecting you. Sure, I wasn’t the only one experiencing this at the time so I wasn’t alone, but I felt so alone when I wasn’t with you. 

I used you as a shoulder to cry on, and you didn’t use me. I had no idea you were so hurt, and that’s my fault. You were my partner, you are the love of my life. I should have pulled my head out of my ass long enough to see that you needed me just as much as I needed you. 

I’m in no way trying to excuse my behavior. I’m just trying to explain my side of things. I’m in a better place now, as far as coping with fame goes. I don’t find it to be such a disaster anymore, I’m more comfortable with what fate has laid out for me. Well, everything but being away from you. I’m still working on trying to handle that.  

Thank you for letting me stay here. It warms my heart a little bit to know that you still care about me in some way and didn’t just throw me out on the street.

Although I know I was in the wrong here, I do hope you can forgive me. Even if you never talk to me again, I just want me to be one less thing that had you scorned. 

I still love you Yoongi.

You dropped your head once you were done reading, pinching the bridge of your nose. The sight of his handwriting alone made you emotional. You remembered seeing his scribbles on post it notes strewn across your apartment and his studio of random topics to write songs about. You always found his handwriting endearing. 

Taking in the words on the page, you re-read his sign off more times than you’d like to admit, your chest aching more and more with each time. 

“Fucking Yoongi,” you groan out into the empty room, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, then standing abruptly to get ready for work. 

As you showered, your mind was racing with thoughts of Yoongi. Of course you still loved him as well, but after careful consideration all those months ago, you realized it was better for you to take a bit of time for yourself and your mental health. 

Last night you were angry, and you said some things that weren’t entirely true. Yes, Yoongi did help you out when you were down from time to time. It just felt like your entire existence was spent helping Yoongi that it overshadowed the times he helped you. 

Admittedly you did leave him abruptly. The break up was filled with ‘I’m sorry’s and ‘It’s not you, it’s me’s. You told yourself that you had to get out then otherwise you knew you wouldn’t be able to do it. 

Being without him was so hard for so long, now that you felt like you were in a place where he wasn’t on your mind constantly, he pops up on your doorstep. He looked so damn good, too. Black hair (a stark contrast to the reddish brown you saw him in the day you broke up), black shirt and white jeans. He looked thinner, something that you always worried about with him, but he was still the same Yoongi that you love. 

His face didn’t leave your mind the entire day. The red-rimmed dark brown irises staring up at you in shock as you spewed on about your bullshit reasoning for leaving him. The way he just sat there and took it. The way he looked so defeated when you turned off the light and left him on your couch in the dark. 

After you got off of work, you sat in your car, staring at your phone. 

The contact name was changed from “Yoongles <3″ to just “MinY” a few months ago, something that it took you far too long to do. You couldn’t bring yourself to delete the contact, just in case. 

Sighing, you opened your messaging app and began typing. 

You: are you at genius lab right now? 

MinY: Yes. Please don’t come visit out of pity. 

You rolled your eyes, gnawing at your lip.

You: just let me come see you, dumbass. 

It took him a moment to reply, but when he did you unlocked your phone faster than you ever had before. 

MinY: ok. the passcode is the same.

The drive went by a lot quicker than you had anticipated. When you pulled into the parking lot of BigHit studios, anxiety filled you to the brim. Why were you doing this? What encouraged you to suddenly come here? How was staff going to react to you prancing back in there like you had so many times before? 

Clenching your keys tightly in your hand, you stared at the doors and continued to debate whether or not this was worth it. 

You had no clue what you were going to say, but you had to see him. 

Walking inside, you made it to the elevator successfully with no questions asked. Pressing the top floor button, the elevator stopped midway through and in walked Jimin. 

He didn’t seem to notice it was you at first, walking in while staring at his phone and noticing that the button was already pushed. He glanced your direction to see who needed to go to the top floor, his eyes going wide and his jaw dropping. 

“Wh- what are you doing here?” Jimin stuttered, shock washing over him in rolls. 

“I’m here to talk to Yoongi.” You say simply, clearing your throat and trying to avoid his eyes. You couldn’t help but feel like he must be mad at you for hurting his friend. 

Jimin didn’t speak again, only allowing you to walk out of the elevator and down the hall. Your eyes stayed on the floor, your arms crossed over your stomach in the process. You knew that people recognized you, but you just couldn’t face them before you talked to Yoongi. 

Yoongi was never one to be vocal about stuff, and you knew your break up never hit the media, but you couldn’t help but feel like everyone within the company was well aware of what happened. 

Stepping up to the door, muscle memory kicked in and before you could hesitate any longer, you were punching in the pass code and listening to the door unlock. 

You had walked into this scene many times before. Yoongi was sat in front of his piano, headphones on his head, his eyes closed as his fingers played silently across the keys. He was always so focused. 

Seeing this room again had images of you bringing in take out many times and massaging his shoulders while you told him to relax playing through your head. You glanced carefully at the black leather couch in the corner, unable to count how many times you and Yoongi had made love on there.

He still didn’t notice you, opening his eyes and scratching notes across the music sheets. You walked behind his chair silently, putting a hand on his shoulder and pulling away quickly once you felt him jump. 

“Jesus fucking-” he turned and met your eyes, his facial expression softening immediately, “-sorry I thought you were Jungkook.” 

“It’s okay.” It was quiet. Both of you were just puddles of anxiety, and Yoongi’s eyes searched yours for any ounce of pity, but there was none. He couldn’t figure out why you wanted to come here, and it took every piece of him not to begin panicking when he initially saw your text. 

He knew if he looked directly into the eyes of his bandmates, he would tell them everything in a panic and they would try to talk him out of saying you could come here. 

“Still looks the same.” You say suddenly, looking around the studio. The shelves of plushies from fans made you smile, he always tried to keep everything that was given to him. You noticed that the mannequin holding the Chicago Bulls jersey now had a BT21 hat sat on top of it, with various chains dangling from it’s neck. Whether Yoongi liked to admit it or not, he took pride in the way his studio looked. 

“Yeah,” he inhales, “I like the aesthetic. Makes it feel like home.” 

Making conversation with Yoongi had always come to easily before. Now that you hadn’t seen him in half a year, it felt tense. Not necessarily awkward, you knew if the circumstances were different you two could talk for hours whether it be about songs he’s writing or projects you’re working on. He just kept looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something. 

When your eyes trailed along his desk, you saw the photographs lining along the side. They were mostly Polaroids of him and his bandmates, except for one framed picture of the two of you when you first began dating. 

The picture was taken on one of your many visits to the dorm, Yoongi’s arms wrapped tightly around you while he looked down at your sleeping figure. You knew Namjoon took the picture, and later teased Yoongi immensely for the amount of love and adoration in his eyes while you slept soundly with him so close to you. 

You haven’t slept that well since you broke up. 

Yoongi spotted where your eyes were staring, reaching over and putting the picture face down. Silently, he saw the pained look in your eyes as he did so, swallowing and slowly placing it back up. 

“W- why?” You asked softly, his expression unreadable while he stared down at the floor. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I still love you.” He didn’t look at you when he spoke, so your eyes went back to the photograph. 

Even in your sleep, your fingers clutched his arm around you, never wanting him to let go. Despite always feeling like he wasn’t there for you the way that you were there for him, you realized in that moment that his love language was different than yours. He silently supported you, loved you, cherished you. It was different from past relationships so you weren’t sure how you could see the signs. 

All this time, he was there for you in his own way, and you were too blind to see that.

You didn’t break your gaze away from the photograph until you felt a single tear slip from your eye. You moved quickly to wipe it away, but Yoongi had already seen. 

Normally he’d rush to comfort you, to pull you in his arms and allow you to cry it out on his shoulder, but he couldn’t right now. You weren’t his to comfort. 

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper softly, meeting his burning gaze. 

Again, he was unreadable. He only soaked in your words silently, before tossing his head back, “Why are you sorry?” 

“Because I didn’t see that you were there for me, just in your own way.” Another tear fell from your eyes. Yoongi had seen you cry before, but rarely. Every time, it was silent. He’d never seen sobs rack your body like you had seen him, but even this was enough to be jarring. 

“So I guess we were both a bit stuck in our own worlds, huh?” Yoongi spoke up after a moment, allowing you to silently soak in his words. 

It’s true. You were both so caught up in trying to navigate your own feelings that helping each other almost felt like a chore. Although you wanted to help each other, when your anxieties get overbearing it just makes it that much more difficult. 

“Past tense?” Your eyes were still on the picture. 

“Past tense for me. As I mentioned before, I’m in a better place than I was before, again besides the not having you around part.” He explains, suddenly feeling a little more relaxed than before. His nails weren’t being gnawed at constantly, instead his hands rested in his lap, clutched together. 

“I-” you begin, swallowing a choked sob, “I thought I was doing better without you.”

You could read Yoongi’s expression again. Sympathy crossed his brows, his eyes beginning to shine over with unshed tears while he watched you cover your mouth in an attempt to quiet your cries. It took everything in him not to reach forward and pull you into his arms. 

Then he couldn’t stop himself. 

Sliding his chair closer to yours, he hesitates for a moment before pulling you forward and into his arms. 

You fell into them so easily, your head falling onto his shoulder while your legs moved to straddle his thighs. He held you tightly, inhaling your scent while silent sobs racked your body.

“I’m so sorry,” you cry into his neck, “I’m so stupid.” 

All of your thoughts were a jumbled mess. You wanted to tell him that you didn’t properly think through leaving him, you wanted to tell him that you were so caught up in your own mind that you were being selfish. You wanted to shout it from the rooftops that you were the idiot who broke Min Yoongi’s heart, but your tongue wouldn’t form the words you so desperately wanted to say. 

“No you’re not, baby,” he strokes your back, “I did the same thing, remember? Our early 20s were a weird time for the both of us. We couldn’t expect perfection when we both had a lot of growing up to do still.” 

“You’re always so good with your words.” You pull away from his neck, noticing your tears on his shirt. Yoongi reached up and wiped away the wetness on your face with his thumbs. A sad, somber smile rested on his lips. It was the same one he had when you left him.

The memory makes more tears begin to fall. 

“P- please forgive me.” You whisper softly. 

“Oh baby,” Yoongi pulls you back in for another hug, “there’s no need to forgive each other because there’s nothing to forgive. We’re grown more as people, and we can both admit our mistakes.”

“I love you.” You breathe. 

Though it was something you said routinely when you were with him, it felt foreign on your lips to say again. 

“I love you too.” Yoongi responds, his hands stroking the back of your head. 

Then he pulls you down to him. You feel excitement rush through your body at the thought of his lips on yours again, but instead he presses a chaste kiss to your cheek. 

“What does this all mean?” You ask. 

“I don’t know yet,” Yoongi right now was such a contrast to last night. He was much more composed than before, and you no longer smelled whiskey on him, “I feel like we shouldn’t try to define what’s happening to us right now. If we hop into something too quickly, it won’t end well. I just know I want you in my life in some way.” 

You nod, wiping your nose. You took this as his way of saying that you were too close right now, so as you went to crawl off of his lap, his hands flew to your thighs and for the first time since you entered the room, his eyes seemed pleading. 

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you on me right now,” his fingers dug into your hips, “this is the first time I’ve touched you in so long. Please let me savor it.” 

Wordlessly, you move your hands to his wrists, guiding them up the sides of your body until they reached your cheeks. You embellish the feeling of his hands on your face, closing your eyes for a moment. 

His fingers were so long. You couldn’t help the images of his fingers knuckle deep in your heat flashing through your head. You opened your eyes to meet his, silently hoping he would begin to touch you again. You didn’t realize how starved for touch you were, but only his touch. 

Yoongi’s hands slipped off your face, trailing down your chest softly until he palmed both of your breasts in his large hands. You tossed your head back at the feeling, your tears long forgotten as you silently thanked yourself for wearing a thin bra today. 

“Do you want this?” He questions, his hands still kneading you. You looked down at him, unable to form words as you nodded. 

Yoongi moved his his hands underneath your shirt, slipping it over your head to expose your bra-clad chest. The minute your shirt was over your head, you couldn’t take it anymore. You gripped his face in your hands and slammed your lips onto his. 

The kiss was filled with so much need, but was also a silent apology. Yoongi was just as greedy as you were, his tongue darting out and into your mouth the moment you gasped at the feeling of him tugging at your nipples. 

The chair was too small for the two of you, so you tugged softly on the collar of his shirt to follow you to the couch. His lips didn’t leave yours as you moved, his hands unhooking your bra in the process and tossing it haphazardly. 

Yoongi fell on top of you when the back of your knees hit the couch, careful to catch his weight but unable to ignore how hard the sight of you shirtless in front of him was making him. Instinctively, he ground his hips into your spread legs, allowing you to feel him through the thick material of his jeans. 

“Please.” 

Yoongi took your plead as permission to slip your skirt and panties off of your hips. The sweet smell of your arousal immediately filled his nostrils. He thought he would burst through his zipper at the sight of you. Though your eyes were still rimmed with red from your earlier tears, the sadness was replaced with lust, need, and love. 

Yoongi slipped off the couch and pulled you towards the edge, moving your feet to each of his shoulders. 

“Fuck,” the word fell so effortlessly from his lips, “you’re so fucking wet.” 

“All for you.” You say, tutting your hips closer to his breath. 

Then Yoongi dove in. His tongue delved into your soft, pink flesh. You spread your lips for him, allowing him better access as his tongue wrapped around your swollen clit and sucked harshly. Your body convulsed at the feeling, finally feeling his fingers press into your entrance. 

Animalistic moans fell from your lips, your free hand flying to his hair and tugging harshly at the roots. This caused a groan to leave Yoongi’s throat, the vibration heating your core. 

“You’re still so loud,” he peaks up from you, his face half covered by your pelvic bone, “give me more, baby. Tell me how much you like it.” 

His fingers moved so much quicker now, his tongue lapping at you like it was his last meal. His words were enough to encourage you to scream his name as he curled fingers in just the right place, your orgasm rushing through your body in heated rolls. You didn’t even realize you were squirting until you unscrew your eyes open, glancing down to see Yoongi’s shirt and face soaked as he drank in your orgasm with blown out eyes. 

Something about the way his tongue kept finding itself on your clit as you rocked through your release made you come undone again seconds after the first. 

“Oh my god,” his hands shook at the sight in front of him, “I- I almost came in my pants. You’ve never squirt like that with me before.” 

You hid your face shyly, your chest heaving. You had never squirt before in your life, and both you and Yoongi had knew that. 

“Can you keep going?” his eyes were still wide, “are you- that was so hot.” 

“Fuck me, Yoongi.” You say as you lean forward, unbuckling his belt quickly. His hands beat you to unzipping his fly, pulling his jeans and boxers down in one go. 

You didn’t hadn’t had anyone inside of you since the last time you and Yoongi had sex, and the feeling as he pushed the head of his cock into you again was one of absolute euphoria. A harmonized moan fell between the two of you and he didn’t move for a moment, just drinking in your fucked out expression as your jaw dropped when bottomed out. 

His teeth grit together, “So tight and wet.” 

“Please move.” You ask, grinding your hips down onto him for any sort of friction. 

“I-” he couldn’t form a sentence. Yoongi was always the one in charge in the bedroom before, but having you around him again was breaking him. He didn’t know how to think, how to move. All he knew was your clenching walls milking his cock for everything that it was worth. 

You sensed his hesitation and flipped the two of you, straddling his thighs and beginning to ride him to your hearts content. His fingers dug into your hips as you did so, and all he could do was watch you. 

You leaned down to him, pressing your lips to his. He reached a new spot inside of you, his hips beginning to tut into you to meet yours. 

“I love you.” You breathe, Yoongi swallowing your gasp in the process. He didn’t respond, only allowing his hands to roam your body. 

“I’m gonna- oh fuck- where do you want me to cum?” Yoongi managed out, and you felt him twitch inside you. 

You had completely forgotten he wasn’t wearing a condom, and that your birth control ran out months ago. You just wanted to feel him cum inside you, the thought pushing your orgasm closer to the edge. 

“Baby-” Yoongi struggled to contain his moan, “If you don’t stop, I’m gonna cum inside you.” 

You nipped at his neck, “Then cum inside me, Oppa.” 

The use of the honorific was enough to send him over the edge, his hands stilling on your thighs as hot, thick strings of cum shoot inside of you. You moan his name as you come around him, milking his orgasm out of him in one of the most intense orgasms you had ever had in your entire life. 

Sweat drenched the both of you, your chest shining as Yoongi took your nipple in his mouth in a last ditch effort to please you just a little more. You couldn’t move, knowing that his cum was slowly leaking out of you and covering his own cock. 

Yoongi moved you to sit beside him, most of his cum spilling out in the process and covering the couch. He was too spent to care, only being able to look over at you while you cuddled into his side. 

“We’re going to have to get Plan B.” You whispered suddenly, your thoughts unclouding in the after math of your release. 

“Fuck,” Yoongi said, his thumb stroking your thigh, “you’re not on birth control anymore?” 

You shook your head, “Didn’t need it.” 

This made Yoongi’s heart flutter, knowing that you hadn’t had sex or wanted it anytime soon if it wasn’t with him. For a moment he forgot the last six months had happened, and that you were back for good, ready to softly stroke his head to sleep again. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, moving so you laid on top of him, “Shall we take a nap?” 

“But-” 

“We’ll talk about everything when we wake up. We’ll make decisions once we aren’t recovering from mind-blowing sex. Just, hold me right now. Then whatever we decide later will move our lives in the direction that it needs to go.” Yoongi said, silently begging you not to leave him high and dry.

You only nod, laying your head on his chest. 

In your sleepy state, you try not to over think his words too much, only trying to inhale his scent and the memory of his arms around you because there’s a chance that this is the last time that this happens. Even if that’s not what you want at all. 

So you two fall asleep, the soft breathing shared between the two of you lulling you into a deep sleep, your dreams filled with thoughts of a black haired boy with a gummy smile. The love of your life. 

[mindswriters]

Family Meeting - jj maybank × reader {one shot}

Summary: for the first time you decide to take your pogue boyfriend at your family's annual meeting, and let's say that your relatives didn't have the best reactions in the world.

Pairing: jj maybank × kook!reader

Warnings: language, underage drinking, mentions of hook ups?, "drunk" driving [IF YOU DRINK DON'T DRIVE]

Word count: 3.3K (is this big? idk)

A/N: hell yeah, i'm a shitty writer. Y/f/n means "your full name" btw

not my gif, credits to the owner ;)

****

Your surname is pretty infamous at the Outer Banks, your dad owns one of the biggest parts of Tannyhill, what makes you full kook. That's why you always lived in that shitty bubble wrap, you understand that living in the Figure 8 gave you privileges that you wouldn't have if you lived on the south side, and you hate the fact that everyone around you always pretend that everything is perfect when there are people to miles from there surviving from water and bread. But, as a blessing, a while ago your friend Sarah Cameron started dating John B, a Pogue guy who worked for the Cameron's, and you also started to hang out with them, and that's where your life started. At first your parents didn't liked your "new life", but they also did nothing to stop you (probably because they knew you would find a way to sneak out). You found your real crew with the Pogues, they were very receptive with you, John B is really kind and fun (way better than Topper, Sarah's ex boyfriend); Kie became your third musketeer, she's smart and is always there for you; Pope is your favorite nerd eveeer, y'all would be screwed without him. And last but not least, JJ Maybank, at first you thought he was cute, at second that he was a stubborn dumbass, and third? Oh, third you've fallen in love with him.

That's what brings you here, getting dressed for the Y/l/n's annual meeting at the Country Club, while JJ, your actual boyfriend is sitting on your bed with a messy hair and a clumsy suit. This meeting is nothing but a bullshit that your parents "require" you to go every year, you actually don't like it a lot, but today you are especially excited, you can't wait to see all your old aunts and envious cousins staring at you, when you arrive holding hands with your Pogue boyfriend. The most handsome Pogue of this island.

"Hey, J, which one is better, this one or this one?" you asked showing him your hands, each one holding a different pair of earrings.

"Hmm, this one." he pointed to your left hand with a smirk after carefully observed both the jewels.

You whispered a "thanks" and turned back to the mirror, putting the bright jewels on your ears. You were giving a last check on your marine blue dress, when you heard a knock at your half opened door.

"We're waiting for you kids." your dad tried to disguise the complain with a smirk.

"Sorry for the delay, dad, you know how long it takes for me to get ready." you pouted leaning on the door "But you and mom can go ahead, JJ and I will go with my car in a little while." you looked at your boyfriend and smiled when he waved to your father.

"You sure?" you quickly nodded "Okay then, see you there." the gray haired man sighed and went down the stairs.

"Thank you, daddy." you murmured but he definitely didn't listened.

"Can you just don't call him daddy when I'm around? It's kinda awkward." he slyly said when stood up from your bed.

You giggled rolling your eyes and walked towards him, looking up to stare his blue eyes "I never thought I would live to see JJ Maybank wearing a suit." you joked.

He just looked away and gave a shy laugh, while you delicately straightened his tie and collar. As much as you are excited, you don't see the same in JJ's expression, let's say he is not extremely comfortable in the middle of the Lion's den, as the Pogues call places with many Kooks.

"Come on babe, spit it out, what's wrong?" you ask kindly wrapping arms around his neck.

He shook his head hesitating to speak, but only with your gaze he eventually convinced himself that you wouldn't let it go unnoticed.

"Are you sure you want me to go? I mean, it's a family thing and-" he was about to vent put you stopped him.

"You are part of my family, JJ." you smiled placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Say it to your father, at this time he must be bad-mouthing me for the rest of your family." he complained snorting.

"So what?" you intertwined each other's fingers on both hands "Look, JJ, I don't care about what my father thinks and says about you, I just want to show up there holding your hand and telling everyone that you are the guy by whom I fell in love, and fuck what those idiots will think! It'll always be you." you sighed relieved after you vent all that was in your throat.

"Wow, unexpected PDA from my little girl uh?" you felt the heat blushing your cheeks, but he immediately filled your face with plenty kisses.

"I meant it, J, I meant it!" you both laughed when you tried to escape from his lips "Let's just go there and enjoy us, eat those weird foods, drink expensive drinks and if it gets too boring we can leave, okay?"

"Fine, fine, I'll go." he rolled his eyes pretending to be angry with you.

You held the boy's cheeks joining his lips lovingly and jumped up to the chair where your purse was hanging.

"I can't wait to see the faces of my envious cousins when they see me coming with the hottest guy on the Outer Banks." you sent a wink and asked him to follow you downstairs.

You drove all the way to the Country Club and when you got there you already saw all the chic decor and the other cars that were in the parking lot. JJ seemed to be nervous again, dangling his legs and biting his nails, but holding your hand before entering the party was what helped him to be calm. As soon as you took the first step, you were surrounded by the looks of everyone, some from close relatives who looked disappointed, and others from people you didn't even know were family members. Soon in the entrance hall you met your parents, talking to one of your aunts, when you were a child you gave her a loving nickname, auntie witchie.

"Hi dad, hi mom! I didn't know that half of Outer Banks was now our family." you teased kissing your parents cheeks.

"Less, Y/n." your father whispered discretely.

"Oh, Auntie Mary! How long I haven't seen you!" you greeted your aunt with an exaggerated (and false) smile.

The lady returned the smile but soon frowned as she spotted the messy blonde hair right behind you, even in a suit JJ was still clearly a Pogue.

"Let me introduce you, this is JJ, my boyfriend!" the boy politely kissed the top of your aunt's hand "I don't think you will need to worry about my relationships anymore."

You smiled confidently exchanging looks at the boy as your aunt seemed to analyze and judge every inch of him with a disgust feature. She looked at your parents and they just sighed and shrug.

"Y/n, darling, can I talk to you for a second?" you nodded in response and your aunt pulled you 2 steps to the side, which did not help from anything if she wanted a conversation reserved.

"What happened?" you asked as if you didn't knew what was coming.

"Is this boy really your boyfriend?" you nodded again, always smiling "And is he a-"

"A Pogue? Yes, he is a Pogue." you cut her even before she could finish the question "Any problem?"

"No, dear, but I mean, don't you think you should look some more? I don't know, someone here in Figure 8, with a good surname, I always thought that you would make a beautiful couple with the Cameron's prodigal son." you sighed thinking about a polite answer for the lady.

"I'm sorry, auntie, but you are completely wrong. I don't need to look anymore, JJ is definitely my lobster." you smiled leaving her confused with your words.

You turned your back politely and pulled JJ by the hand, with the intention of literally walking with him around the room and telling as many people as possible that this handsome blonde, mop headed Pogue is your boyfriend. While walking around the space you drank a few drinks, teased some people and received many, many looks of judgment. In addition to some cousins of yours commenting things like "I heard he was that crazy guy who shouted a gun at the Boneyard". But you couldn't care less, even more after some doses of alcohol.

"I need to go to the bathroom, stay here, it'll only take a sec." you gave a kiss on JJ's cheek before leaving him near the bar counter.

You were on your way back from the bathrooms when bumped into someone. It was Amber, she is your cousin, but you two didn't always get along. One time when you were 7, she threw your plush turtle in the pool and as revenge you stuck chewing gum in her hair. There was also the time when you were in 8th grade and she told your mom that you and Sarah went to Topper's house at night to drink vodka with powdered juice. Well, after that you have distanced and now when you meet by chance you pretend to like each other.

"I'm sorry!" she said with that annoying voice "Oh my God, Y/n, is that you?"

"Yes, cousin, it's me!" you smiled pretending to be excited.

"Look at you! You mean you have boobs now?" yeah, and my boyfriend loves them! okay, that's what you thought, in fact you just smirked raising eyebrows.

"Yeah, I think so. But you remain the same! Just with a little more chemical in the hair." you teased in the same mocking tone of her.

"Y/n/n, always so funny." she let a fake laugh and looked away "Damn, since when did the waiters from the Cut get so hot?"

You turned around and soon realized that she was talking about JJ, who was still leaning against the counter. As much as you were a little jealous for hearing her call your boyfriend hot right in your face, you were also proud to be able to tell her that he is already yours.

"Oh, actually he's not a waiter, he's my boyfriend." you smiled confident biting your own lip.

"Shit, don't mock me Y/n, you and that guy?" she laughed trying to disguise the wide eyes, Amber always made a point of telling that you were too ugly to get a boyfriend.

"Yep, me and that guy." from a distance JJ realized you were staring and then waved at you, who responded with your most proud smile.

"Ugh, I can't really understand what you and Sarah see in those Pogues, they're disgusting." funny to see how she changed her mind just in a few seconds.

"Let's say they're like that song."

"Song? What song?" she asked confused moving her gaze to you.

"You know, harder, better, faster, stronger, oh and add 'bigger'." you slowly said containing your laughter by biting the inside of your cheek.

She stared at you with a shooked look, and speechless. You must admit that the situation was quite satisfactory, seeing your dear cousin unresponsive on learning that you are not the ugly duckling as she always liked to say. You couldn't help but let out a little laugh, and then you excused yourself to return to your boy's arms.

"Who was that?" he asked when you leaned beside him on the counter.

"It's my cousin Amber, I hate her." he giggled and you fake smiled looking over your shoulder to see the fake blonde girl staring at you two.

"So what were you talking about?" he fixed your hair behind your ear gazing you.

"Nothing much, I was just telling her how is to be dating a 'dirty Pogue'..." you teased bending to whisper on his ear.

"Dirty Pogue, huh? And how is it like?" he frowned with a mischievous smirk.

"Well, it can be so many things, and I would risk to say that "dirty" is one of them." you smiled biting you lower lip with your eyes fixated on his blue ones.

JJ smiled back and moved his gaze to your lips, quickly kissing them and moving his wet lips to your cheeks, until reach the sweet spot behind your ear. Fuck, this is pretty good but let's say that the middle of your family meeting isn't the right place for you guys do it.

"J, stop, not right now." you giggled raising your eyebrows and softly pushing him away.

"Why not?" he pouted with puppy eyes.

"Because all my family is seeing us?" you used an obvious tone, 'cause it was obvious.

"Maybe we could sneak out?" you narrowed your eyes thinking about his proposal.

"Soon, first we'll show that people how we move on the Cut." you answered when heard one of your favorite songs playing outside.

You dragged your boyfriend by the hand until you reach the middle of the dance floor, at first he was kinda shy, but being with you makes him feel more comfortable, and as soon you both were already moving your bodies like no one was around. Laughing, drinking and kissing, you were stealing the show, this until you feel someone tap your shoulder and when you turned, you faced a man who was probably the photographer, since he held a professional camera in his hands.

"Excuse me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?" he asked politely.

"Yes, why?" you frowned holding JJ behind you.

"Oh, they're looking for you to take the annual family picture, can you follow me, please?" he pointed to the entrance hall.

"Ah sure, come on baby." you nodded bringing JJ with you.

When you reached the hall everyone of your family was there posing and waiting for you, soon you found your parents on the left side and before joining them, you stopped to straight your hair and JJ's bow tie. When you had just finished fixing his suit, your dad stopped you by your shoulders.

"Y/n, sweetie, I know JJ is important to you, but I think it's best that he doesn't appear with you in the official photos." you frowned when your dad moved his gaze to the blonde right behind you.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" you snapped with a bit angry tone.

"It's nothing personal, honey, it's just 'cause you know, you’re still young and he’s just your boyfriend, we don’t know if it will last long." your father said making you chuckle shooking your head, that's unbelievable.

"Nothing personal, right? So why can Andrew's girlfriend appear in this stupid picture and JJ cannot?" you stormed pointing to your cousin and his girlfriend already posing to the camera.

"Y/n please, don't make a scene." you dad sighed when noticed that everyone looked at you.

"Is because he's a Pogue, isn't it?" you asked with anger burning your face.

"Y/n it's okay, it's just a photo." JJ tried to calm you down and leave it, but you didn't listen.

"You see, sweetie, it's not a big deal." and you're also sick of your dad pretending that everything is perfect.

"You know what? You guys can keep with this Kook bullshit and take this fucking picture, but I will not be part of it." you said confidently causing JJ to giggle behind you and your father give you a pissed gaze.

"What the hell you think you're doing, young lady?" your dad murmured holding your arm carefully.

"I'm throwing off my chains." you stepped back confronting him.

"Y/n, darling, stop it! You're embarrassing me and your father!" your mom shout out when she noticed that you were about to leave.

"Whatever! I'm already the family’s shame!" you shouted taking a few steps back until reaching JJ, who have a proud look in his face.

"Y/f/n! Come back here! You can't do it!" Y/m/n shouted one more time.

"Yeah, but I'm already doing." with a twist on your own feet you answered back while stealing a drink from the waiter's tray that passed by.

At this time everyone is looking at you with wide eyes, your parents flushing in anger and JJ, oh JJ is paralyzed with a huge smile on his face, he's so proud of seeing his badass girlfriend facing everyone to defend him. This was something you wanted to do a long time ago, and a family meeting seemed like the perfect time for you to throw everything up in the air. And that is what you did.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" you stopped making exaggerated expressions "Auntie Mary! You should find your own husband before give hunches on my boyfriends!" you said with a soft tone pointing to your old single aunt standing a few meters from you.

"Y/d/n, you should fix your daughter!" she yelled angry.

"And Amber!" the fake blonde jumped when she heard her name "Cousin, you should try to hook up with a Pogue anytime, they're so fucking hot!" you smiled biting your tongue and looked to JJ, who let out a big laugh and soon disguised because of your father's gaze to him.

Everyone was staring at you and your parents with jaw dropping, you always showed some personality differences compared to the rest of the family, but no one ever imagined you were that bold. Okay, the drinks helped you do that, but they say that when a person gets drunk is when she shows who she really is. And this is you for real. While hearing comments like "How absurd" or "This is a shame", you poured your entire drink in a single sip and dropped the glass on the floor, hurrying to leave that shit party.

"Come on, blondie, are you with me or what?" you raised your eyebrows calling JJ to follow you. He looked at your parents and they gave a serious look to him. But he didn't care right now.

"Sorry, Mr and Mrs Y/l/n," he laughed stepping backwards "your daughter is crazy!"

He shouted shooking his head and turning around to run towards you. You both laughed and you waited for him to embrace you at the big front door, you explicit kissed and left everyone behind, running hand in hand until you reached the parking lot. Inside of your car you two waited for the laughter to lose their strength to catch your breath.

"Oh my God this was insane!" you smiled heavy breathing and looking at the blonde on your passenger seat.

"My girl is a huge badass!" he pulled you for another kiss, this time it was longer and full of proud and desire.

"Okay, your place or the Chateau?" he said breathlessly, pulling away and looking at you.

"Definitely the Chateau. And hope John B isn't home." you gave a nasty smile and started your car.

You're gonna be dead when you see your parents again, but it's fine, still worth it.

[inthehausofholbein]

31!

31. “They think i'm talking to my mom, play along”

Francesca was hanging out with Violetta in a café after classes that day. It was just a regular afternoon, nothing much. Just two friends hanging out.

“Do you want a drink with that?”, Vilu asked.

Fran looked at the pieces of cheesecake they both ordered and just how sugary they looked. She definitely needed a drink to wash it down with. “Just the raspberry drink, please.”

“Got it! You can just go find a table while I order.”

Francesca smiled and headed over to an empty two-seat table. What a good friend, Violetta was. With how close the two girls are, Fran wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt her.

.

Buzz!

Her phone buzzed and she took a quick look at the name of the caller. “Amore mio ❤️💜💙”. It was Diego. For how much she kept their relationship a secret from her best friend, she never bothered to change his contact name on her phone. She wouldn’t want Violetta to see him calling and... end their friendship because she was dating her ex who collaborated with her arch-enemy to break her heart and make her freeze in front of a crowd of people plus the internet?! Right?!

Okay, calm down, Fran. That’s not gonna happen!

“What if it does?!”, she thought to the voice in her head.

Just answer the phone. Diego’s been waiting for a little while already.

“Ugh, okay then.” She thought again.

.

“Hi!”

“Hello, hermosa.” She couldn’t see his side of the call, but Fran knew he said that with a smirk.

“Why’d you call? I told you not to call when I’m hanging out with Vilu.”

“Woah, calm down, there. I just wanted to call to let you know that you left your dance bag in the studio.”

“Oh... I’ll be sure to get it after we’re done. Thanks.”

There was a little silence for a while before Diego replied. “You’re welcome, mi amor. But just one thing.” Oh lord, Francesca knew this was coming. “You’re still not ready to tell Violetta? She’s your best friend.”

There it was. A question Fran was hoping not to get. “W-well... No offense, but... you hurt her a lot... and you’re her ex! I don’t want to hurt my best friend like that.”

Diego let out a tiny whimper and sighed. “Mi amor, I know how close you two are– a-and I know that I shouldn’t have done what I did, but Violetta told me last time that she forgives me. Also, speaking of forgiving me, she forgave Ludmila for God’s sake—before I did, actually. You shouldn’t b—“ Diego didn’t finish his sentence as he heard his stubborn girlfriend talk very loudly and nervously to her friend who just came to their table with a tray in her hands.

.

“Yeah, yeah! Hold on for a minute longer.” She told Vilu before going back to Diego. “She thinks I’m talking to my mom, play along!”, Fran hissed at her already tired boyfriend on the other side of the call.

“I’m not ending this call until you gain the guts to tell her, I’ve decided.”

“What?!”

“I’m sorry, but Violetta is literally one of the nicest people I know and... this is getting old, babe.”

“Is everything okay, Fran?”, Vilu asked concernedly, looking at her friend standing up with her back just scrunched up.

“Yes! Things are going so well! You know how my mom and I are!”

Francesca accidentally made the volume go louder and heard Diego say out loud, “Francesca.”, before nearly dropping her phone.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”, Francesca replied nervously before hiding her phone behind her back—though, not before Vilu shot a quick glance at it suspiciously.

“Oh, you’re just talking to Diego?”, Vilu asked, trying to hold in her laughter.

Oh no, she saw it! “W-what?! No! It’s just a little—“

Violetta put a hand on Fran’s red face, giggling. “Don’t lie to me, amiga—or well... any longer.”

“Francesca, what’s happening?”, Diego asked from the other side of the call with the volume of Fran’s phone still being loud, getting a stare from a few customers near their table.

“Diego! Hi!”, Vilu replied happily, not being able to contain her laughter anymore. “Put her on speaker, Fran. And... not that loud.”

Her black-haired friend was speechless and had her mouth slightly open, but she put her boyfriend on speaker mode anyways.

“Violetta?”, Diego asked, confused.

“Hi again, Diego! Just listen, please.”

“Okay...?” The girls couldn’t see it, but they could hear him raising an eyebrow with his puzzled tone.

.

“Okay... I know you guys are dating.” Francesca was even more speechless and her mouth opened more, while Diego let out a scoff that indicated relief. “I knew since you guys kissed in the classroom last week... which– the door was open, by the way! What were you expecting, you idiots?”

Diego had a laughing fit as the two girls heard clapping on the other side of the call. Violetta joined Diego in cackling, making Francesca even more embarrassed and red.

“Y-you didn’t tell me?”

Vilu noticed Fran’s serious expression and dialed down her laughter. “Fran... Okay, I didn’t. Hear me out, though! I was a little mad at first—not because you guys are dating, but because you didn’t tell me. I mean, I thought, “Does she not trust me enough?”.

“Remember a few days ago when you joked about the incident last year?”, Diego added.

“Oh my god, yeah.”

“I sure as hell didn’t expect you to.”

Francesca finally implanted in her brain that her friend didn’t care if she was dating her ex that hurt her before and joined in the laughter, impossibly redder than she already was.

“Amiga, I just want you to be happy! But also, just think of all that as karma for not telling me the first time.”

Wow... she... didn’t care... at all. Well, she did care that she lied, but... it’s all over now: the worry, the hiding behind closed doors, and the guilt towards her best friend.

Fran nervously chuckled as she stared into her friend’s face, thinking of how much of an idiot she was for lying to her for that long about something... she didn’t even bat an eye for. “I-I guess I deserved it!”

All three shared a laugh while Vilu finally took a sip out of her fruit tea she ordered alongside the cheesecake and Fran’s drink.

“Well, I gotta go. My dad and I are about to leave and your food’s probably getting warm. Let’s talk more about this later, though, mi amor!”

“Got it! Bye! Kisses!”, Fran replied, chuckling before ending the call and putting her phone away.

.

Vilu took at bite of her piece of cheesecake before giggling again. “See? How did it feel to hear that I knew for a week without telling you?”, she teased.

“Oh, you!”, she exclaimed before ruffling her best friend’s hair, making Vilu giggle even more and receiving some more stares from people just trying to enjoy some pastries in peace. “But yeah... that didn’t feel good. I’m sorry I lied.”

“And?”, Vilu teasingly asked.

The flustered black-haired girl playfully rolled her eyes. “And didn’t trust you enough and thought you’d be mad at me for dating him instead of me lying to you.”

“You’re forgiven!”, Vilu said with a teasing smirk before hugging Fran the tightest she could—one final tease.