#sorry im rambling im just all over the place
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like i dont know how to express it. i started watching dsmp december 2020. i was FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. and i still had long hair and i still thought i was straight (...and cis) and i had like two friends. and when we were quarantined again in march-april 2021 that was all i watched. dsmp tiktok compilations on youtube, clip compilations, bits of streams, animatics, day in day out. and even later when i had more work and less time, i can confidently say that there has not been a SINGLE DAY since that point where i have not thought at least once, even briefly, about that server and the characters. how do you even move on from that man. not even from the fandom cause i mean i'm definitely gonna be staying in here for a WHILE but i mean move on as in accept the fact that it's fully gone and there'll be no new content. like that's it . that's dream smp it's over. curtain close and all that
#sorry im rambling im just all over the place#like this server means so much to me i'm just.#alex.rambles.txt#mcyt
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To be clear, I goddamn hated the finale on first watch. I was withering in my seat. My heart had dropped to my stomach. I had no fucking idea what I was watching in that final scene lmao
and then Adrien said "when Ladybug gave me the rings—" and I was like— wait. LADYBUG? LADYBUG STILL EXISTS?
I THOUGHT THE ENTIRE TIMELINE HAD BEEN REWRITTEN 😭😭😭😭 I THOUGHT LADYBUG AND CHATN OIR DIDNT UFCKING EXIST uNTIL ADRIEN SAID THAT I WAS SO SO SO SCARED
and then I realized, oh wait. This isn't a complete utopian timeline rewrite. This is just a timeskip of a few months and Mme Bustier is just a kickass mayor. In fact, she's only mayor BECAUSE it's still the same timeline. And then I realized, hey, wait, if they didn't rewrite the timeline, then how tf is Emilie casually there with no questions?
And then I realized she was wearing black. And Félix was there. And I remembered Amelie exists.
Basically, I went into the finale chanting to myself "it's okay, it's okay... they probably wont bring Emilie back... they probably won't rewrite the entire timeline permanently.... right? please....", even though I didn't actually expect it to happen, but just because I was terrified that it could. And apparently that fear actually got to me so much that I misinterpreted the episode as being everything I didn't want it to be... when... it actually wasn't that at all
anyway, all of this is to say, everything in the episode happens so fast that it confused and terrified me at first. And when I realized what had happened, my opinion went from "my year is ruined" to "oh. well. okay. kind of disappointing, I guess". And then I kept thinking about it, and the ending, and all that is set up and rewatching the scenes and all the loose ends still in place and.... i realized I loved it?
like, every time I think about this finale, I love it more. every time i rewatch a scene, I get a little obsessed. this episode went from my nightmare to actually really really cool to me, and I'm still kind of reeling from it
Basically, this is why I've been kind of passionately defending the finale— not because I think people who don't like it are """dumb""" or anything, I don't blame people at all for that, and I totally get the confusion. I was confused too. And I know I'm not the only one who went in preparing themselves for the worst, or went in with very specific expectation on what will happen, because this finale has been long awaited for so long. I think everyone was shocked with how it ended. I think most people probably startled at Amelie's face (it's so easy to forget she exists....)
Anyways, I started this post basically as an apology for if I seem too aggressive or defensive about the finale. Because I get it! I get hating it! I get being disappointed or frustrated or confused! Part of why I'm so defensive is because I have all the arguments so ready on the tip of my tongue because I had the very same argument with myself already 😭 So I'm sorry if any of my posts came off as too aggressive and in advance for any future posts that might. I promise promise promise I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for having bad opinions on the finale! I just think this episode is really cool and the fact I related to a lot of the nay-sayers makes it easy to feel so impassioned about it.
But this post is getting off the rails and I'm just gonna let it, because some of my regrets w my participation in fandom is that I find myself chickening out of actually talking about my thoughts on episodes a lot. I get kind of overwhelmed and overthink everything after I've posted it and I'm a shy person. But my inbox is closed and this is the season 5 finale and I want to ramble and ramble so I will allow myself this
Basically, I went in with some very specific expectations for this episode. We all know about the Hawkmoth defeat story. Many of us have read it in fics over and over again, it was teased in Chat Blanc, we all know what we expect, we all know our favorite beats from it.
And what actually happened....... met virtually none of those beats. (For me, at least).
Like, Adrien wasn't there for the final episode. At all. He was completely absent from the confrontation. He never found out his father was Hawkmoth. He got his rings, but he never found out he was a sentimonster. He is living in the dark.
Ladybug confronted Monarch... alone. Which is sad, when so much of the series is dedicated to the partnership of her and Chat Noir. Them against the world....... and Monarch was "defeated" with nary a Chat Noir in sight.
The whole entire "Gabriel is known as a hero" thing. I don't think anybody was expecting that. Absolutely shocking.
The fact Marinette would lie to Adrien like that. The fact she's keeping so much from him. The fact everyone is. SO MANY people in Adrien's life (Marinette, Plagg, Nathalie, Felix, Amelie, Kagami, probably Alya, maybe more I'm not thinking of....) are just... lying to him, now. He is so in the dark. He knows nothing.
But.........
I kind of like that I didn't predict nearly any of this. I like that it caught me off guard. I love how this show just completely baffles me at every turn, how it will present concepts and ideas to me that I've never read a fic about.
In retrospect, Chat Noir being absent from the final battle... makes sense. It actually makes a lot of sense, if I think about it, because... there is only one possible way that could've gone, right? Chat Noir would not be allowed to have the emotional implosion that he would have to have. This is devastating. This is SO devastating. This is the entire shattering of Adrien's entire world we're talking about, and Chat Blanc is the only real way for that to end. Adrien has an emotional implosion in front of Monarch, he gets akumatized, it turns into an emotion explosion, extinction event. The end. We've already seen it.
And........ even if it didn't end that way, even if he managed to avoid akumatization...... how could the finale satisfyingly end on that note? How could it end in any semblance of a "wrapped up" way, at the very start of Adrien's emotional breakdown? It couldn't. I wouldn't WANT it to. In retrospect, Adrien finding out his dad is Monarch and then.... what? The season ends on a close-up of him crying? The season ends with a time-skip to the new school year where they skipped his entire grieving period!? I would HATE that, actually. I would hate that. I thought I wanted it, but I would hate it. I would hate it so so so much.
What's kind of amazing is that the finale ended with Monarch being defeated.... but Adrien still has those realizations to make. He still has those betrayals to come to terms with. There is time for him to make these realizations, for him to come to these conclusions, perhaps one at a time, perhaps in a more controlled environment.... and that gets me far, far more excited for the seasons to come than an episode that tried to wrap it all up in the last 5 minutes.
Also, the reason Adrien didn't go to the final battle was because he feared becoming Chat Blanc. He didn't know the truth to it, didn't understand that literally, yes, that's what would have happened if he was there, even if he hadn't been under a nightmare curse. But he still knew. He still expected it. He willingly chose to sit it out, no matter how much he hated it, because he knew. And there's something kind of powerful to that, I think, of Adrien making a choice that is so unequivocally the Correct choice, even more than he realized. And the strength it took for him to make that decision...... damn.
As for the lies and the Gabriel statue? I... it's upsetting, but it's supposed to be. And I believe it. I absolutely believe it. I 10000% believe Marinette would keep the secret of Monarch's identity to herself to try to save Adrien the pain. I 10000% believe that the population could easily be led to believe a famous billionaire is a hero. I 10000% believe that Adrien would WANT to believe it. I 10000% believe Tomoe would take advantage of it.
And I can't wait to see that illusion crumble.
Also.... this is the beginning of The Lila arc.
And the Lila arc begins on........ Marinette telling the biggest, boldest face lie she ever told. The Lila arc begins on the most extreme city-wide illusion we've ever seen. It begins on such a huge fabrication and....
..... it's Marinette's lie.
............ and Lila knows that it's a lie.
I'm
!!?!?!?!
This is so fucking cool???? The irony here??? the deceit???? All these loose ends, all the possible confrontations, all the ways this could GO. I don't know where the show is taking this, obviously, because nobody ever can predict where this show is going apparently (and I love it for that), but oh my god. I'm imagining all the fics I could read about this. all the fics I could write. all the thoughts and scenarios that this finale has provided me with to daydream about as I go to sleep.
Adrien, going through the motions of life. Looking up to his father as a hero, despite the fact the last time he saw him, Adrien was sobbing, in tears, and cursing his name. Adrien, after all the abuse he was subject to, having to look up at a statue of his father and...... be forced to think that maybe he was wrong about his father. But he's not wrong. He WASN'T wrong. He just THINKS that he is. His father is going to continue to loom over his life in ways I never expected post-hawkmoth. Adrien's relationship with Gabriel has not ended, a new and terrifying and horrible new chapter of it has simply begun, and Adrien is still as manipulated by his father's ghost as he was by his father himself.
THAT'S. WILD!!!
also, Adrien now believes that MONARCH MURDERED HIS FATHER. Chat Noir now believes that his greatest nemesis KILLED HIS FATHER. CHAT NOIR, resident self-sacrificer, believes that HIS FATHER was a HERO who DIED FIGHTING MONARCH. Adrien thinks that maybe he should be more like his father— more like his father who died in battle. This is. Not Good. For Adrien.
And it's Marinette that started this. Well intentioned Marinette, who doesn't really understand the extent of the horrors. Marinette, Adrien's girlfriend, the person he trusts most. She did this.
And, I mean.... god. I totally get how this sucks for a lot of people, because it's objectively upsetting.... but I LOVE lovesquare tension. Season 4 is probably my favorite season for that reason alone (still mulling over if season 5 beat it for me). I love the relationship drama, I love that it's in character drama, I love how it fits everything we know about them sososo well, I love that it's horrible and it's terrible and it's awful and it's all because Marinette loved Adrien too much to want to hurt him.
I was worried no reveal would mean that season 6 would just be... what? adrienette fluff? not that I don't love that, but where's the drama? well. there it is. that's the drama.
I need to stop typing this. I know this is abysmally long and ranty and if you read all of this then I'm sorry. But I wanted to get some of my thoughts out.
But basically, I was expecting a lot of things for the finale.
In my best case scenario, it would somehow, miraculously tie up and address all the loose ends with Adrien's angst and character arc in two episodes.... and then end with me totally satisfied, ready to only half-heartedly watch season 6 like it was just a small dessert after the main course.
And I already described my worst case scenario (my first impression of the episode lmao)
But it wasn't that. I was expecting a series finale, but I got a season finale. And I love season finales. I love how they keep me wanting more. I love how excited I am for season 6, because in both my best and worst case scenarios, I honestly didn't expect to be. I love all the new ideas and thoughts and scenarios swirling around in my brain. And even if season 6 doesn't address some of the things I want addressed, I'm so excited to see the creative content in this fandom that DOES
#ml spoilers#ml s5 spoilers#ml s5 finale spoilers#ml re-creation#ml recreation#recreation spoilers#re-creation spoilers#I am SO SO SO SORRY that htis rant went OFF and I just rambled and rambled and I'm sure nobody will read this. however#sometimes I want to be silly. and my silly moment is rambling about my favorite show into the void on my tumblr#im not proof reading this so im so sorry if it's. um. all over the place and riddled w typos 😭 im vibing im vibing
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So like………………. what was the point of Round 6?? 🤨
#this is an honest question btw#because at this point i really don’t fucking know#if ivan sacrificed himself for till and that’s supposed to be till’s driving force for r7 but then it ends up being a detriment instead#and mizi is what ends up motivating him then pray tell what was point of the sacrifice??#they’re literally proving ivan right and i’m not a fan of that#we’ve been calling him an unreliable narrator for a while and while i still think that’s true to some extent#ivan may have a more of a point than we thought he did#but whatever#i don’t know#it feels empty? to me??#not sure how else to say it#sorry if this is all over the place#im rambling#also sorry if i sound like a hater (i’m not i promise)#idk yall i just really don’t know what ivan’s purpose was plot wise right now#might delete later#*deep sigh*#alien stage#alnst#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#alien stage round 7#alnst round 7#alien stage spoilers#alnst spoilers#ivanttakethis shut up about ivan challenge: impossible#ivanttakethis talks too much
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thinking about the Charlie's birthday stream. not the ending, no, we think about that too much. no I think about everything else:
the happiness, the joy, the warmth of it all for nearly two full hours
the lack of mob spawns that night because it’s Charlie's birthday and he has eggs with him. how intentional it is. how funny it is and how sad it makes me because its so considerate
thinking about Tallulah by Charlie's side the whole time, diligently leading him from item to item as his little "guardian angel". Charlie trying to be a good tio and falling a little short sometimes, accidentally leaving Tallulah behind when she crashes but still trying cause that’s his sobrina. how she has to actually hit him to get his attention and how bad she must feel but it's so fucking funny each time
(how can anyone blame him when he never gets to hang out with the eggs enough to know he should wait for her? Charlie had Juanaflippa for what- 10 days? and was practically shunned by several others and himself from interacting with other eggs after his action, which is understandable, but only for so long. can they not see how he plays with the eggs? hear how soft his voice gets around them? don't the other islanders understand?)
this is maybe the longest he's gotten to hang out with tallulah since he got his backpack. Wilbur is his best friend and this was the egg he left behind. He's still learning and Tallulah still loves him despite it. Two people missing someone dearly, yet they have each other even if it's hard to realize
thinking about "Maybe Tallulah, you were the gift. I think you're the gift, Tallulah."
thinking about Richas, his nephew because Charlie has Mike, an actual brother that is equally excited to see him time and time again. A nephew coming around with the slime head and slime balls, like a mini Charlie, who is decked out in a full ghillie suit. Charlie who plays with the egg, pretending to be a spooky monster and richas playing along and getting scared
thinking about Charlie not knowing how to use the ghillie suit properly so he's still clearly visible to the eggs, yet they act like he isn't for his sake. shepherding him around from place to place because charlie is a little clueless yeah (he's in exile, go easy on him), but they are patient and happy to "tag along" and let him lead
thinking about them all taking a picture with him in the school, charlie wanting one with both of them, something to remember the day by.
thinking about how charlie is clearly loved by the eggs, his huevos, and how he clearly loves them back and is trying to be better for them even if he struggles so much
thinking about Charlie Slimecicle on his birthday, for once happy after everything he's been through, Tallulah and Richarlyson by his side
just him, his sobrina, and his nephew on a little scavenger hunt under the stars while the rest of the server remains quiet and calm. asleep while they remain lively
just them
happy
#slimecicle#qsmp#qsmp tallulah#qsmp richarlyson#qsmp slimecicle#i am soooooooooooo normal about charlie and the eggs#let him be HAPPY PLEASE#it kills me time and time again how#the eggs clearly love him#but charlie doesn't love himself#i'm chewing on drywall over this#why did it have to end like it did#we were so close to having all the focus on Charlie and tallulah and richas for a couple of days#of charlie beginning to HEAL#even if just a little#all of his time with lullah and richas gets overshadowed by codeflippa and i hate it truly im sorry but i do#sorry this just bugs me to no end and it's why i started writing again in the first place#mad ramblings#ALSO THINKING ABOUT BAD LETTING HIM 'BABYSIT' WHILE HE STEPPED AWAY#GOD I MISS HIM INTERACTING WITH THE EGGS#LET HIM HAVE A FUN NO STAKES LITTLE MISSION WITH ALL OF THEM PLEASE NO ANGST#TALLULAH#THE ONLY PERSON TO GO OUT OF HER WAY TO GIVE CHARLIE A BIRTHDAY GIFT OF HER OWN VOLITION#THAT MAY HAVE DISAPPEARED WHEN THEY REMODELED HIS HOME FOR CHARLIES REAL 'GIFT' I HATE YOUUUUUUUU
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turns out a brief moment of feeling ok doesnt mean im done grieving
anywho, heres a vent doodle with a pose i saw online, might not reblog the road trip thread posts for a bit (i feel bad for not being able to participate in my own trend but as long as people enjoyed it then i dont mind all too much)
i dont wanna call it a break bc i cant help but be on tumblr, but things might go quiet in terms of art or me talking.
hope yall are doin well today/tonight/timezone n ill see yall when i see you :3
#oz rambles#aaaaaaa sorry for the venting#i try to not do so much on the sideblog bc i wanna make this a place to chill#but i dont want anyone to think im ignoring in reblogging their posts#i see every road trip post n i love it when yall tag me in stuff#i just dont have the spoons for the next while to respond in a way i can properly express my gushing towards them#i love how i say its just a silly little event but i also get beaten up by the fact i cant properly do the prompts atm /lh#anywho impromptu ramble in the tags over#also if anyone who has reblogged my earlier post abt my situation sees this. tysm for your messages. /gen#i cant properly find the words to express it. but they mean a lot and i thank you for taking the time to write em#gonna go and rest mentally now#love you all#cw death#vent#artswin#kinda#tis just a doodle#naroz#ozrator#digitalmuse#selfship#qpr selfship#self ship
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I don’t Care about the ships WHERE IS JINX
#I’m so sad#I’m so sorry cai/tvi nation#I do not like that cop#I care about the siblings and the siblings alone#and ekko OBVIOUSly#Yk actually the ending was rlly good except the part where cait is still an enforcer b#and vi??? I don’t actually know if she is#ig she never quit#but she’s not wearing the blue so#idk#anyway I have a lot of thoughts#I’m really sad I was yelling in my room alone like a crazy person#AND MEL MY GOD HOW COULD I FOEGOR HER#I was blinded by the siblings im not gonna lie#but her arc was SO good#ok this got so rambly this was not meant to get like this#I wish we’d gotten like#1 more episode#to let the story breath a little bit#I think caits descent was brushed over tbh#I really fucked w the way they were going w it and then it just ended w a time skip#AND we don’t get Any resolution for it#I really hate the cop angle a lot#sorry I will never fuck w it#cait said and did terrible things and it’s really not… addressed#I would’ve loved to have seen her resign#I Wish vi could have dealt w how she betrayed her entire ideals and Became the very thing that tore her family apart in the first place#1-2 more episodes and more balls to go all in on the anti cop thing and I would have fucked w it meet#arcane spoilers
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hello i am once again thinking about grim, and by extension the heartslabyul duo because if there’s anything else that lives in my head rent-free it’s how the main four are as close as friends as they are throughout the entire game so far.
(help this ramble became longer than i intended)
-> i know it's a pattern that the previous dorms help out in the next book which means once book 7 ends, we’re assuming book 8 would be about ramshackle(?). which means it’s diasomnia’s turn to have a big role in the following dorm. -> but it got me thinking. throughout the books, heartslabyul (specifically adeuce) is always present somehow. no matter how much screen time they actually have and how relevant they are to the conflict at that time. (actually i think something similar could be said with diasomnia but i want to focus mainly on adeuce) -> throughout the books, we're just set up with how good of friends the four are. the prologue, books 1 and 2 start to develop the four's chemistry together, and by book 3 we get one of the first signs that yuu cares about these three to the point they're willing to risk it because their dumbasses decided to sign a deal with azul. -> in book 4, while adeuce didn't have much involvement, i believe twst JUST hammers home that all four of them are friends friends. we are shown how ace and deuce went through all the trouble of transportation DURING THE HOLIDAYS because they thought yuu and grim were in trouble. like they could've easily just went "hey it must have been nothing" but they were worried enough to go check on them, not even thinking that someone else could've had handled it already.
-> since the pattern was that the previous dorm helps the next dorm, why does it seem like in book 5 it seems that heartslabyul, or at least, adeuce has as much of a big role as scarabia? the scarabia duo was there to notice the signs with vil but it was deuce who dealt the last blow to him. (honestly i don't remember much but i don't know how much help scarabia even helped pomefiore other than being in vdc hhh) -> so then it made me think, huh. it's like twst is setting up that these two will be more important than we think and will definitely not be going away soon. -> and then THE END OF BOOK 6. ouughh the end of book 6. their reunion just solidified for me how much they all care about each other. adeuce were not prompted by a direct "we're in trouble, help us" text this time. they just found out yuu and grim were somewhere in danger and it agonized them that they could do nothing about it but wait and hope they're safe. -> book 7 finally we're back to finding out ways to help yuu get home. and since they're all admittedly close friends (dare i say found family) at this point without explicitly stating it, i get the vibes of "we'll help you get home because we care about you but we're not going to think about the depressing possibility we might never see each other ever again".
-> so very abrupt transition;;; this led me to thinking about the overall “alice in wonderland” theme throughout twst. -> is that why adeuce has been with us this entire time? to remind us of that theme? we are in twisted wonderland after all. (I'm not really sure about the thought of yuu being alice but it's an interesting one to consider too) -> to tie in more with the alice in wonderland theme, i'm briefly going to go back to diasomnia. in book 7, there's like a theme of dreams. in fact, throughout the game it was all about dreams and visions and stuff. and in book 7 we're just diving into it. -> and in the story of alice in wonderland, there seems to be the implication that everything that happened in wonderland was just based on a crazy dream that alice had. like we don't know if anything was ever real. (i'm not really a fan of the "it's all a dream" twist but the connections got the gears in my brain turning) (also mickey must be relevant too but i have no thoughts about the implications of his existence at the moment 💀) -> i know we're not done with diasomnia's book but it seems to be set up as a catalyst for something bigger along the line (thinking about the possibility that there is even something bigger than a malleus overblot is very wild to say the least)
-> SO ANOTHER abrupt transition but still related, i thought about the parallel between the "overblot grim" in the beginning of the game and the "jabberwock(y)" in alice in wonderland. they're both chimera-like creatures that are like the final bosses or something. -> and what if a way for yuu to "go home" is to "slay" the jabberwocky (or in this case the overblot grim) just like in the story of alice in wonderland / through the looking glass. -> there's theories i believe that ace is set up to be some kind of "trump card" based on his name and the fact his unique magic isn't revealed yet. but also i want to add deuce in there too remembering how he held a big role in stopping vil in book 4 like some kind of foreshadowing. -> maybe the main role diasomnia will have is only about all these dream shenanigans. and i'd like to think instead that at the end of the day, this conflict with an overblotted grim is ultimately between our main four. some representations based off alice in wonderland. -> going full circle, is this why we have been shown so much of the friendship between all four of them? to establish this possible eventual conflict? and to make it harder for us to choose about "going home"? do we even get the choice?
do we "slay" the jabberwocky or will we decide to stay in this seemingly dreamlike fantasy wonderland instead?
#if there’s anything else i am very normal about is the friendship between adeuce yuu and grim#the power of friendship strikes again#this braindump is all over the place idk what is cooking in there#anyways i'd love to hear other thoughts or feel free to add on;;;#this has brain go brrrr#i might also be forgetting a lot of things this is just what i remember off the top of my head#[—✦-#-✧ twst rambles#twst#twisted wonderland#twst yuu#heartslabyul#diasomnia#ace trappola#deuce spade#twst grim#twst ramshackle#-✦—]#im sorry for this whiplash of a blog#i just go from random takes to heehee funny snake man
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Genuine question!
Are there any plans to revisit the reverse kid leo universe? Like with teen leo and little brothers? I really like that idea so I'm just wondering
Nope. I do have a collab planned far far far faaaaar in the future, but I personally do not enjoy drawing the spinoff and I don't have ANY ideas for it like ever, so I have no plans of continuing it myself/in an official capacity. It tends to confuse people about what's canon/what's not, too, and I'd like to avoid that :/
I usually do try and keep up with what everyone else wants to see ( and for some reason a lot of people like the spinoff?) But its so far out of my interest zone that I just really can't draw it smh
Writing the script for the collabs has already been so so difficult cause there's just like...no ideas.
And also a funny plot hole is that Leo in the spinoff could literally go back to his time whenever he wanted. There's like 0 stakes. Idk I'm rambling but the TLDR is no lmao
#asks#i do have a thing about this on my faq#also yes collab in the future#in the far far future when i have time to organize it#spinoff fr isnt canon cause it would solve too many of the kid leo problems#by problems i mean their problens not like me problems#and also its not how it works. kid leo and med leo didnt switch places at all#medium leo currently does not exist anywehrre#hes just gone rn#so the spinff tends to confuse people#anyway ramble over lmao#sorry if tone is off i tried to keep it light cause sometime i sound mad about this particular topic#but im not#queue
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E/riel’s really like to use the line in ACOWAR “Elain stepped out of a shadow” before she kills the king. I’ve seen some use that line to prove how Elain will make a good spy.
elain wants to be seen, why would she ever want to be a spy? they don't listen to their fave at all. in that same book, she said that no one ever looks at her, not really. meaning, she's been overlooked her entire life. reduced to nothing more than a beautiful woman with, seemingly, no other redeeming qualities. why would you want her to hide and diminish herself for an occupation that she has, so far anyway, shown zero interest in?
her "fans" only reinforce the negative things antis say about her, especially when they go around shouting about how "pretty women get men to buy them things and real women don't work". they claim to be all about feminism but by saying this, they're basically saying that she's boring and useless and only good for being pretty for a man, that she can't possibly offer anything of value beyond that
we may not know much about elain but what we do know is that she is often kinder than others, she's softer too and has shown she doesn't care for violence in any capacity outside of defending those she loves. she also likes to garden and bake, both of which are not just leisurely hobbies. they take hard work and determination. clearly elain likes hard work and getting dirty when needed, it's just that nobody has ever told her to, or let her do it beyond her feminine activities. stop stifling this woman and shoving her into one box to make her more acceptable for the man of your choosing. if you truly liked her character, you would accept her as in and any choice she may decide to make
#sorry i kinda rambled with this one lol my thoughts are all over the place#i have a lot of feelings about elain and im just tired of e/riels as always#acotar#elain archeron#antielriel#anti e/riel#asks#anonymous
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Hey wait. Do the phones/instructors/human side characters have a discord? Asking for a friend.
#yes I AM planning on making on if the answer is a resounding 'no' btw.#but also if I do make it#it'd probably include human characters from fangames. since I doubt people are clamoring over Fritz Smith or whatever#(idk. I still have to get the specifics down)#Im doing this because I fucking love these types of characters in fnaf-related media btw can you tell?#ehhh... who knows. who knows.#It just kinda hit me that most fnaf servers are probably NOT gonna be about these lil goobers#ahhh.... I love you fnaf human characters who have NO influence on the plot and are just kinda there <3#phone guy#phone dude#also technically all the other nightguards? Im only gonna tag Jeremy since majority opinion is that Fritz and Schmidt are Mike Afton#who DOES NOT COUNT as he is a Major Plot Guy#jeremy fitzgerald#whoops I might've rambled on. oh well!#sorry pal but this is MY niche and it's a niche I feel Very Extremely about.#Im trying to get all the 'Underrated Fnaf/Fangame Characters' enjoyers in one place#so I can burn us all down Whaaat who said that-#tagless behavior#<- looks at my tags: sure....
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[ sorry about lack of activity / ic content as of late. i've been battling a writer's block that is creeping in from my work stress. my health hasn't been the best either due to stress and lack of sleep as well so writing & wording had been difficult for me. i've been catching up on g.enshin & h.sr quests during the weekend, but i'm going to try to attempt some drafts / writing this week. ( hopefully i'm not jinxing myself with that ! ) thank you everyone for being so patient & understanding with me ! ]
#.ooc#.mobile#[ i've been ... a bit all over the places lately#majority of it comes from work so if i sound quieter ooc that's why#i just had been under constant pressure esp for the past month or two#that's why i haven't been very talkative in IMs or discord so i apologize for that#i'm never the social type to begin with so when i'm super stressed i'm even quieter bc i don't want to bring the mood down#& i suck at keeping up convo by default hjhkl so that doesn't help#i don't mean to ramble in the tags hjlkhjlk sorry about that#hope you guys are having a great day / night on your end tho ! ]
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I love talon w the whale tail, makes me think abt what he'd look like in a thong w his jpeg flat ass out
he"s meant to have SOME ass i just dont know how to draw it yet 💔 no ready refs for me to utilize....he wears the fuck out of them regardless of cheek anount rhough
#anonymous#skunk mail#ykwim. ill find one pic of guy with some ass asn then its like okay how do i see this in all angles. smile#also this just keeps making me remember im torn between two versions of talon one where he's still just got a somewhat#toned but really aged body that's sagging regardless (bc thats jst how skin elasticity goes)#vs just. completely Old old man. standard old man. jpeg flat ass#okay sorry actually im being incoherent i have to go to sleep im squinting to answer this rn my eyes are so tired#ive been wantinf to draw him in more crazy gay underwear regardles. 🫶 we can make it happen#my art skills are all over the place rn its so weird#ok nonrelated rambling now goodnight
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Feel free to skip on past this, I’ve just gotta ramble for a minute bc i cant stop thinking about this kid from work last week. They were so much like me at that age (5-6th grade) that I didn’t know how to interact with them? I didn’t know what to say to them bc I don’t know what I needed to hear back then, what I would’ve WANTED to hear? What would I have even listened to? They were almost entirely silent and looked out at the world with a hesitant curiosity, but would pull back so fast as soon as you tried to interact w them. Little to no eye contact, face hidden in hair, always looking down, following others until they could strike off on their own and just quietly explore. Intently focusing on drawing any chance they got. We did an art project and they hunched over their piece the entire time and wouldn’t let any of us see it in progress, refusing to look up or acknowledge us if we asked to see it or to know what it was. Idk. I barely interacted w them while they were with us for those few days bc I didn’t know how? It almost hurt to try? It was like looking back into a time machine and i didn’t know how to tell them that it does get better,,, I still don’t even know if where I am is better, some days feel so unsure that I don’t think I’ve made any progress at all. But seeing that kid, idk. I’ve come pretty far. And it DOES get better. Maybe it’s not the best now, or even that great at all, but it’s better. I wish I could’ve told them but I don’t think they’d have wanted to hear it anyway
#im a rambling sam#I’m in a weird place again since getting here for this season of work#idk maybe I’ve been in a weird place all year probably#I don’t think I’m that far from where I was at that age but I know I am there’s just still so much further to go#one day I think it’ll feel easier but maybe not today#I do love working w kids but I’m considering going into horticulture instead of outdoor education bc I don’t know if I can handle this#I can#but god I don’t know#in my heart I’m still that exact kid and she’s still in there so damn anxious and unsure and needing to observe the world and everyone in it#just to get some sense of understanding of just what the fuck is going on around here#but by the time I’ve gotten a good handle on what is going on everything is already so set in place and my place is outside the system and I#I don’t know how to step into it#sorry sorry I’m still rambling I’m having a weird day I probably just haven’t eaten nearly enough in the last few days and I’m about to#start teaching on my own this week which is terrifying and I can’t stop thinking abt that damn kid I wish they stayed longer I think#we probably would’ve gotten along#but groups only come here for a couple days and then go home which is v weird after having the same kids for 3 weeks for summer camp#idk life gets better and it gets worse and sometimes u grow into the world a little more but there’s still a mute child in your ribcage#little hands pressed up against ur ribs like laying a palm against a bus window#I put my hand over my sternum as if we could press our hands together thru time#when I was that age I used to pretend to have someone around me like an imaginary friend but usually it was a book character that I liked#and I’d talk to myself in my head like having a conversation and giving myself motivation and assurances from someone else to me#and now I’m here and I still talk to myself like that but without the imagined friend as a buffer I just talk to myself in my head#now I’m the imaginary friend for the little Sam that lives in my chest#when I talk to myself I’m talking to her#I’m giving her the assurance she needed back then#the assurance I still need now#I am here for her so I am here for myself#this is getting poetically nonsensical maybe it’s time for bed
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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OH EM GEE TELL ME ALL YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT ATSV :3
OF COURSE, atsv spoilers obviously
well first off, i really loved the scenes with the spiderpeople (gwen and miles really) and their parents, you were clearly able to see the love, but also the stress that is present in the relationships because of the kids not being able to tell who they are
that being said, rio's and miles' scene on the rooftop was so sweet and idk i really loved everything about it. i believe that in the next movie that he'll tell them about being spiderman, and i don't think it'll go as horribly as he may think
also miles is literally my favorite protagonist ever, he's the sweetest ever and so kind and he's so friendly (the nervous dance before meeting miguel and also calling him 'Tío') and he's so caring and he desperately wants to help whoever he can. if he is even sad for one second i will somehow beam myself into whatever universe and fight idc.
also for the family scenes, those were very relatable, i literally had my handss across my mouth when miles said whatever, i was like "no wayyyy" and also i cringed every time gwen said their first names, im sorry
i also adored the spiderpeople we met in the last movie and i adored the spiderpeople we met in this movie. i ofc loved seeing gwen and peter b (who reminds me a lot of my uni freshman math prof, especially with his child who was soooo cute) but it hurt when miles asked them about them visiting and during peter b's and miles' talk and the location thingy went off.
i also loved seeing peni, peter porker, and spidernoir in the end too, i missed them so much.
as for the new spiderpeople, ahhh they were the best!!! hobie's literally my bff idc (i can overlook the british for 1. ONE man). i also adored pavitr (i could sort of understand the hindi so win for me!!!) and margo was literally sooo cool.
jess and miguel were really cool and i really liked them as characters. as for miguel, i can sort of see where he's coming from (not that i like it but...), i liked his story and im really interested to see what's going to happen in the next movie for him, lowkey reminds me of a wet cat but whateverrr
i want to see jess moreee i really loved her!!!
i really liked how the spidersociety as a whole was designed, it was just a nice nod to everyone's abilities and what we know as the spiderverse as a whole.
im glad that gwen's dad is not a cop anymore. very glad.
i am also very stressed for jeff, i don't want him to die.
i am excited for the family scenes in the next movie, they will make me cry im sure.
the twist that he wasn't in his universe was so well done, i was literally shocked, but it made sense seeing the trains falling and all when he was going to his house.
also the ending!!! i'm really excited for what's going to happen in the next movie (also very stressed but i digress) it's really interesting to me to see the hero of the story face off against a different version of himself who is not so much that.
overall, i loved the plot, i am so excited for the next movie, and the animation was literally gorgeous, i loved all the styles and the different techniques and literally everything.
this movie was amazing!!!
#this is all over the place im so sorry#BUT i really loved this movie#sruthi answers#atsv spoilers#also this doesn't even begin to cover everything im literally just rambling
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#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more#this self conscious catgirl is so tired#sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok#i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment#genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me#and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media#in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end#YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!!#i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months#which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me#it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us#i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place#like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances?#anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically#idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i#personal#sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually#me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl#bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow#im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit#i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy#the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob#which i am feeling like right now!#vent#emy rambles#ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM#k really am#sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon#and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them#but yknow one can yearn
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