#sorry if it kinda sucks idfk i thought it was okay

[codexu]

LIL WANDER X COMMANDER PEEPERS COMIC I WAS RLLY CLOSE TO GIVING UP ON BUT DIDNT YEAAAAHHH MOTIVATION IS COOL‼️‼️‼️‼️

[seongminiz]

okay… well i will dump some thoughts here but ofc as usual no pressure😓😓 and i hope u feel better soon<333

i was having a LOT of thoughts but i’ll try to keep this message more concise at least.

1. i love matthew’s voice, when he sings it kinda like cracks a little sometimes? like in a cute sexy way i feel like his moans/whines would be just… the sexiest ever omg i wanna hear him so bad

2. and then also just like, jiwoong edging you at the country club but sorry like not edging but like teasing you? idk just like keeping you guessing if he has any interest or taking it a step further and like getting progressively more touchy with you the more he loses control but never gives you want you want fully, will put his hand in the small of your back when he’s showing you something, leaning in towards your shoulder, close enough you can feel his breath on ur neck (he would smell like whatever the most expensive, masculine, yet subtle fragrance would be) and maybe even when you get more bold, you’d get him alone, in his office or smth sitting on his desk while he’s in his chair, leaning towards him so your breasts begin to spill from your active tank top a bit😣 squishing your thighs together while you ask him to leave early on friday to go hang with your friends, “please jiwoong?” and your pout is so irresistible but he knows as soon as he gives you what you want, you’ll become uninterested.. you’re so spoiled after all, he knows you want him only because you can’t/shouldn’t have him. maybe he’d slide his hand along your knee to the hem of your skirt and you’d shiver immediately because you swear this is the most he’s touched you. ever. and he’d experimentally lift the edge of your skirt to push his fingertips a little further, sinking them into your soft flesh only slightly, but he can’t go any further he knows he’ll lose control, he looks up at you, moving that hand on your thigh to your chin, lightly holding your jaw, tilting your flushed cheeks to meet his eyeline “hmm,” he’d hum and tilt his head, your lips parting, so flustered, praying he’ll lean in and kiss you, your eyes are fluttering closed, but he lets go and says “yeah, you’ve been a good girl lately, you can go, that’s fine” and would push his chair back, standing up, you’d be face to face with his abdomen, watching the way his tight white dress shirt pulls against his firm body, gulping audibly. “run along.” he tsks when you don’t move, so you jump off his desk and scamper away.

yeah. i did not keep that shit concise.

- 🧁 anon

omg this is so long .... /pos i'll try to write answer without frying my brain halfway through it 🙏🏻🙏🏻

1. yesssss omg matthew whiny moans :(( n ngl i just think he would be soooo vocal in bed i feel crazy

2. i.... i genuinely have no words to express how this made me feel . U R INSANE . n like atp thats a whole fic damn‼️

[somehow switched to semi-proper grammar/writing halfway through this oops so like ,, ofc not proof read who do u take me for warnings ? pool sex , semi-public sex , dry (wet ? they r in the water idfk) humping , unprotected sex :3 kinda switch/subby leaning!matt , finger sucking]

but yeah he'd be such a tease :( at the end of the day hes just giving back the same energy u always give him , but since u r sooo used to getting whatever/whoever u want with no effort it pisses u off sooo much .. which unfortunately also just makes u want him more ,, n get even worse with ur own teasing :3 wearing shorter skirts n more revealing clothes everyday until jiwoong has to avoid u or he'll get hard on the spot just by seeing u ....

+ to bring back lifeguard!matthew in this mattwoong sandwich summer special country club insanity , the more jiwoong avoids u the more it makes u want to act out , the riskier the places u have sex with matthew become . he doesn't even mind that ur using him, as i said in the other post , getting to fuck u before his boss gives him a massive ego boost .

n im just saying , he rlly cant be blamed when he steals the keys to the pool just so u two can sneak in after closing hours .

'just to swim without all the other people around' he says , helping you out of your clothes between one kiss and the other . you both try to be quiet , not knowing if or when a security guard might come by and catch you, but it's hard when basically everything makes you giggle like two teenagers on their first date - and honestly, matthew would like to think of this as almost a date .... bless his heart , he's convinced at some point you're going to catch feelings for him like he did for you :')

matthew gets in the water as silently as he can, and before you can figure out how to do the same - half sitting on the edge of the pool, half trying to slowly push yourself into it - he grabs your waist and lifts you almost effortlessly before lowering u into the water with him (all that free time spent at the gym rlly paid off , didn't it)

you don't have much time to react before matthew kisses you, caging you with his arms against the pool wall (? is that what its called hwlp i hate the english language) and it turns into a heated makeout session pretty quickly , with only the thin fabric of your swimsuits separating u two ,, he'd get so whiny and sensitive just by grinding against your clothed cunt to the point you have to pull down his swim trunks for him or he'll just cum without even getting to fuck you properly :') he's so needy , doesn't even bother taking off your swim bottoms n just pulls them to the side , moaning so loudly as he sinks into you that you both kind of panic thinking you're going to get caught . when you're sure the coast is clear , matthew starts fucking you and he just gets so whiny and can't keep quiet , he has to bury his face into ur neck n bite all over it n your shoulders just to stop himself for moaning out loud again ,, idk , shut him up with your fingers in his mouth , that might be more efficient (n will get him to cum quicker)

n if jiwoong happens to walk by for some reason and catch you ,, just put on a show for him , he might be a little more lenient with your punishment if u do :3

[lazychickensoup]

okay here’s a second try at angst so ya, not really ship but tsukkiyama moment (idfk reblog pls I’m desperate for attention.) (kinda a kinnie moment lol)

Tadashi. poor boy, his anxiety is gonna be the death of him. he first started developing it in his fourth year of primary school. He didn’t really say anything about it to anyone because when he brought it up to his dad he told him that “everyone goes through it” like it was just puberty or something and was also told to “man up”. So he kinda went through his primary years a complete mess. The worst thing about it was his insecurities always got the better of him. To the point where he would get so self-conscious in class that he would ask to go to the bathroom to get through his anxiety attacks. It was so bad one time the school had to call his mom because he was staying with her that week and she had to come to pick him up. (yes he has divorced parents fight me) when she asked him why he never said anything about how he was feeling he told her everything that his dad said and that pissed. her. off. After an hour of her screaming into a phone to a certain someone, she sat down with him and tried to confront him. She told him that he could go see a doctor about it if he wanted to. And that’s what they did. He got diagnosed with severe anxiety and was prescribed medications. This helped him with the anxiety attacks a lot but not so much insecurities. But that just goes along with growing up. At first, he didn’t see much wrong with his face he may have had uneven eyes and a weird smile but he liked his face. What he really didn’t like was his body. In primary school he was super skinny, he ate and worked out as much as he could to build up muscle but it was really a loss for him. When he started getting bullied for his freckles that was what really dragged him down. He started covering them up with concealer in his fifth year. Everything was fine and people kinda forgot till one of the girls pointed out that he was wearing “makeup”. Boy oh, fucking boy. That what you want everyone to hear as a primary school boy right? Honestly, the girl could care less and thought that it was kinda cute that he was good with make-up even if it was to cover up his beautiful specks. The boys on the other hand...literally overflowing with that toxic masculinity. That’s when the bullying began. He’d get teased, and get called feminine names which made him very uncomfortable. But it got worse when it started to get physical. After school, the same group of guys would wait outside of school just to follow him home to tease him and push him around. This went on all the way till his last year at primary school. It never really stopped but it definitely settled down once Tuskishima came into his life. Meeting him at the volleyball club the day after he made those bullies run away was the best thing that could have happened to him. Tadashi looked up to Tsuki a lot during his younger years, and although it isn’t the best way of doing it he learned to defend himself more with bullying (yes he’s a fucking bully too he’s just not as bad as Tsuki fight me pt2). Anyway, he still had it rough through his middle school year but for the most part, he was fine. He was winning his battles against anxiety and insecurity, especially since starting volleyball he’s built up muscle, and he’s grown to love his freckles a little more. Then again it came down like a hammer on him. His first year in high school, it was a class that he didn’t know anyone in so he kinda just kept to himself. Some guys came over and started talking to him and he thought they were really nice. They were all getting along until this girl came along and introduced herself to him. She was acting super flirty and he didn’t know why. One of the guys grabbed the girl by the waist pulling her against their chest. He looked pissed. He started yelling at Tadashi for flirting with his girlfriend and threatened to hurt him. Tadashi panicked and tried to explain that she came onto him which only made the situation worse. The guy just started spewing insults at him, talking about how no one would ever date him because of this and that. What hit Yamaguchi hard though was “and don’t get me over your

pepperoni face. Come on it looks like you took a brown crayon and went to town on your face.” Everyone around him started laughing along and agreeing. Their mocking laughter only got louder and louder to him, his breath started staggering and his eyes clouded with tears. He pushed them out of the way and ran to the bathroom. He stares at himself in the mirror letting the sobs escape, he turns on the water and wets his hands. He starts violently rubbing his face then wetting his hands more, and repeating the process. He didn’t realize it himself but he started scratching at his face, turning it red and leaving marks. The door opened to the bathroom but Tadashi didn’t hear. It was Tsukki luckily. “Hey Tadashi I went into your class and they said you would be in here what going on-” his word stopped as he saw his best friend torturing himself. He walked over and grabbed his hands hardly making Tadashi face him. “What are you doing?” he questioned? Tadashi couldn’t manage to get out any words before he collapsed into Tsukki’s arms. Tsukki drags him over to a wall where he sits down. Tadashi laid in between his legs sobbing against his chest. He started running his fingers up and down Tadashi’s spine, in a couple of minutes he had calmed him down until his sobs turned into sniffles and his breathing began to go back to normal. “M’ sorry Tsukki. I didn’t mean to just collapse on you like that.” Tadshi sits up walking back over to the mirror to fix himself back up. “What happened Tadashi.” Tsukki asks getting up as well and dusting himself off. “Nothing it was just a panic attack. I haven't had one in a while so it was overwhelming.” Tsukki grabs Tadashi’s shoulder and starts to massage them gently. “Don’t lie, you suck at it. Plus, I told you to text me when that stuff happens. You usually get more embarrassing than before and do something stupid. So I’ll ask again, what happened.” Tadashi sighs gripping the sides of the sink. “Just some stupid assholes. Threatened to beat me up if I kept talking to their girlfriend even though she came on to me. Said something about my freckles. I don’t know. I’m over it, I had my episode I’m fine now.” “Tadashi, they are just idiots. You know that, I don’t know why you got so worked up about it. Your freckles look fine.” Tadashi froze and looked up at him. That's all? It’s just fine? So it just shouldn’t have any effect on him at all? Does he even remember all of the time he would vent to him about stuff like this? The offense he took from this was unreal. “Of course you would say that. Have you ever actually been bullied or were you always the one bullying? You have no idea what goes on in my head so you have no room to talk about how I deal with my problems Tsukishima. Honestly, you're such a pain in the ass sometimes, just acting all nonchalant. Whatever. See you at practice.” He grabs the paper towels out of the dispenser and walks out of the bathroom. That day at practice the tension between the two did not go unnoticed.

tags: @hangesextra @tetsurou-sgirl

[bubblyqueer000]

😩(2021 APRIL FOOLS JOKE POST (OLD)) Mondo Owada x Me uwu🍆

This was an April fools day post from last year and I'm posting it the day before April fools day 2022 because I'm going to make a part 2 tomorrow so I hope you like it ૮ ˙ ﻌ˙ ა

PS If your pronouns are what’s in your pants mine are Mon/Do/Owada ( )っ✂╰⋃╯

My name is Bubz Abazure. I’m the ultimate fan fic writer at Hope’s Peak highschool (This is the japanese version so Hifumi is a doujin artist and not a fan fic writer bet you didn’t know that you fake fan haha now me and all of the other real fans are going to make fun of you >:C ) I got into Hope’s Peak cause some bear bitch saw that I had like 57 kudos on AO3 and went ‘OOOH YO LET’S GET THIS GIRL SHE’S REVOLUTIONARY’. I was excited to go because I’ve always wanted to go to Japan but when I got there it sucked because there were no subtitles when everyone talked so I didn’t know what anyone was saying! I only speak American! Anyways I get to this fuckin school and fuckin faint and fuckin wake up in a fuckin classroom and see a fuckin note that tells me to go into the fuckin gym at 8 fuckin o clock. FUCK! It’s 3:00 AM I’m eight hours late. I go to the gym and the other students are there already and they’re exhausted from waiting for me for eight hours.

“Sorry y’all I needed my sleepys! Wait I know you! Y’alls are those characters that I write about fucking random probably teenage readers on the internet!”

“What the fuck” Said everyone collectively excpet for Mondo because he was too busy blushing over how hot I am.

“Anyways have fun killing eachother >_<” Said Monokuma before he dipped. We all left because we were sleepy. But not really I just slept for thirty seven hours and then another eight. I was sitting in my room crying because I was depressed that I would never see my family again or whatever until I heard a knock on my door and wiped my tears away, not wanting them to think I’m a little sensitive poopy baby BECAUSE I AM NOT >:c I was surprised that the person at the door was Mondo Owada (The guy whose dick I was talking about on the rules page). I was gasped when I saw him because I thought that he was just going kill me but then I didn’t care because I’m emo so life is meaningless to me but then he saw my scared expression.

“Don’t be scared you’re so segsy.” He said with a himbo smile. I blush and look away but then my beautiful shit-brown eyes hits the light of the room making my face more visible to him “Have you been crying? Like a little sensitive poopy baby?” OH NO MY WORST FEAR! I start crying more out of pure embarrassment and rub my eyes, totally ruining my eyeliner so I looked like a hot topic employee. “It’s okay! Girls cry or whatever I think it’s hot cause it reminds me that you have a coochie c:”

“Wow that is pretty hot,”

“Speaking of which I have arrived to recieve your consent to gaze upon your tiddies, milady.”

“Oh shit that’s hot i guess want to do the nasty?”

“Yee” Without warning Mondo pushed me onto the bed and ripped off my shirt and I was all like ‘wtf I wore that on the first day for a reason it’s my favorite shirt you asshole’ but I didn’t say that cause I wanted that big biker butter boy baby maker. After that he ripped off my skirt and left me lying there as nakey as the day that I was born cause I guess I wasn’t wearing underwear? Idk.  “God you’re fuckin hot. Now time to rip my clothes from existence.” He said and then suddenly wasn’t wearing any clothes revealing his meter long king kong dong and shoving it into my thirty two flavors of bootylicious bubble gum ass

So like that was hot or whatever but then we just kinda laid there and talked.

“When I was a kid I had a crush on Adam Sandler (True story) so how the fuck have my standards gone down?” I asked as him, snuggling close to Adam- I MEAN MONDO.

“Idfk I mean I don’t have high standards the last ten girls I asked out rejected me.”

“Wow you must be really lonely aha sucks to be you.”

“Heh… Not anymore Bubz chan… I love you.”

“I love you too… Non existent character that I use so I can forget how lonely I am.”

[tslasvegas]

Episode 13: “What a depressing trip to Las Vegas” - Jaiden

I just have one thing to say.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! It worked! I didn't expect Joey to vote with us. I feel bad about that, but hey, we couldn't see him being sincere. If he told us who the others were voting for, then maybe we would have changed votes. Jaiden was open to it already. Kailyn is probably the one who voted with John for Liv. Maybe she thought he would play and idol or maybe jury management. Anyway, she should have told us. 

Joey got voted out. Which was not supposed to happen this round. Pat and Jeff are just so naive and easily to manipulate. I’m sure they could be convinced to self vote without any real effort. I don’t even want to bother working with them moving forward because of it. But I might have to. I can’t let grudges get in the way of getting to the end game. Honestly at this point I’d be happy going to F3 with Liv and Kailyn. Xavier is too nice. Jaiden is too... out there? Love him, but I don’t want to sit next to him at the end. And Pat and Jeff i just don’t think they deserve to make it that far

I still can’t believe tribal tonight was real. It’s been like six hours and I’m still in shock that Joey finally went home. Like... what??? I’ve been dealing with that dude for three weeks and I’ve held his little secret in until it finally came of use to me, and... now I’m in the final seven. The game has NOT been won yet and while I feel like cheering and celebrating, I need to maintain my focus and center myself as the game is nowhere close to being over yet. We’ve still got at least four tribals to go, but after tonight I might be able to say that I’m exactly halfway through the merge (assuming it’s a final three... dear god please be a final three). Top eight was a really hard mountain to climb and once I lost immunity I felt a little out of touch with what was gonna happen next. I really felt like my time was going to come, and I’m so thankful that it wasn’t. Tbh Kailyn might’ve gone home today had Jeff not told me about a Palazzo chat still being alive and well. I don’t know how I’m gonna turn this bad situation around again but I need to convince Keegan and Livingston to work with me, Kailyn, and Xavier. It is critical now that Jeff or Pat go home because one of them is going to win. Before Joey left, he told me that there is a rumor that Jeff or Pat have an idol nullifier. While a nullifier won’t affect me right now, it’s not something that I want to see in the game going forward period and I want to use that little piece of information to my benefit and finally get rid of Pat. I’ve been saying for SO LONG that we need to get rid of Pat and now the time is ticking down. He has to go as soon as possible, fuck whatever Jeff says. Tbh I want to fly into the final six with no votes cast against me, still. I wonder if I can get Jeff and Pat to target like Keegan or Livingston and I really just need Xavier or Kaitlyn to bring up Pat’s name first before Jeff.. I doubt they have the smarts to recognize the danger that they pose, but we will see... Keegan is DEFINITELY pissed off at me now too. I made the mistake of telling him that I was “a little annoyed” about how tribal went, which was such a dumb thing to say bc tribal went exactly how I wanted it to. I’m playing off the fact that Kailyn must’ve known abt Joey voting for Livingston because her name was on the chopping block too so that’s why it went 4-2-2 rather than 5-2-1 like it was supposed to. I don’t want anybody to know that I was playing for Joey’s advantage which I’m sure people think I have right now lmfao... Anyways really I need to just make Keegan NOT hate me because he’s still part of my plan long term (I think)... he’s really smart tho and I’m not counting him out to win the whole thing but he hasn’t really done much of anything whereas people like Jeff and Pat and Xavier have kinda done a lot... If Keegan isn’t prepared to be fully loyal to me til the end then there’s nothing I can say to him except adios. All I really need right now is an immunity run til the end. I hope that the next challenge is something that doesn’t require a lot of skill because I am INCREDIBLY anxious just thinking about a competition, live. I need final seven immunity because then I’m guaranteed top five... the furthest I’ve ever been in Tumblr Survivor by a mile. I’ll break so many of my own personal records with that one single immunity win. In fact, if I make it to final five, that will be the best I’ve literally ever done in a Skype survivor org. I haven’t done that good since April and it’s just really affirming to me that this was the right decision for me to come back to Tumblr. Aside from winning challenges and making more moves, I also have gotta start fixing my bad relationships. Like I mentioned earlier, Keegan seems REALLY pissed off at me for how things went down with him being left out of the vote again. I can only apologize so many times before I am simply unforgivable. Maybe say sorry less and work to do better??? Idfk. But if Jeff or Pat can just say Keegan’s name, I’ll do what I can to prove to him that I’m loyal to HIM and not them. I hope that the Palazzos are falling to pieces now and realize that the only way to the end is to stick by us and nobody else. Jeff was also pretty mad at me for pushing his buttons a lot today. But honestly he was feeding me utter bullshit. I don’t buy that he was my savior and guardian Angel today, protecting me from having my name come up. I should honestly tell Livingston that Jeff sold him out to me not too long after Livingston said my name in their little chat. That would be hilarious. Kailyn and I are pretty close, but it could be better. I think I tend to revert all game-conversations with Xavier, so I don’t consider Kailyn my main ally unfortunately. If I want to go to the final three with her and Xavier, I need to really work on building that GAME relationship up because as a person I think we vibe well but it’s gonna come down to a couple factors and if she *has* to be sacrificed for me to get further, I can’t do anything but let it happen unfortunately.. As I just said, Xavier is kind of my main strategic ally right now which is super weird to say. He has definitely stepped it up A LOT in the strategic department and I have a lot of respect for him just as a person and I want to try and pick his brain a little bit more. The only thing with Xavier is that he seems to be playing really “safe” right now - I think had the opportunity presented itself to vote for Jeff with Joey, Xavier wouldn’t have gone for it and would’ve wanted to stick strong with voting Livingston instead. Which I totally get, but this game right now kinda requires we make bolder decisions than just what kinda didn’t work last time, you know? Okay now for Pat - god our relationship is just so weird. I have virtually not ties to Pat except the one alliance with Jeff and I feel like Jeff wants to control Pat rather than let Pat be his own player. It’s weird. I wonder if Pat would be down to vote out Jeff but fuck it’s gonna be hard to pull that off. I don’t want to hold off on Pat BECAUSE if I can’t get him out next, I will need him at final six and hopefully final five to serve as a sacrificial lamb or something. I’m wondering now if maybe Livingston needs to go because people are gonna always view Pat as a huge threat to win, even though he might not necessarily do so if he gets there. Livingston... yeah I really don’t like Livingston lmfao. I think it’s because of his super close connection to Rachael but it might also be because he is like, cool and nerdy and a bit of a try hard “around camp” so to speak. What REALLY gets on my nerves about Livingston is that he possesses zero of the charisma to convince me that he sucks at this game but enough social finesse to make me think that he’s actually gonna win if he gets to the end. He’s like, that cool dork everybody was friends with in high school. Even though parts of his game have been lackluster as fuck, he’s still a massive threat to win and I might just need to kick him off to the jury as soon as possible. :) And finally... me! I’m gonna try hard to be unbiased and self-aware but it’s so difficult to do that bc I genuinely don’t know how ppl are perceiving me this time.. I THINK it’s mostly positive but tonight was definitely one of my most negative episodes bc of how stressful I was being before tribal. Just ask Jeff. I think I’m definitely succeeding in getting votes to go my way and I have had a LOT of things go right for me since the merge. From Stephanie leaving right when I needed her to, to the double removal, to the super idol coming out and getting rid of Joey... It’s been so good so far. BUT I’m not being subtle about it. Subtlety is not a strength of mine that’s for sure.. I think I succeeded in being “subtle” about the Steph thing bc I was not making it overly obvious I wanted her out but otherwise I’ve been very clearly controlling other decisions and how certain votes went. Leaving two people I don’t trust in the game (Pat/Jeff) is tough but at least I worked with them on something, right? Joey was telling me so much that he was gonna lose to me and I think he was right. Now Jeff is saying that he’s probably going to lose if we’re in the end, but he doesn’t want to vote me out. Do I trust that? Not really... But fuck, I don’t even know anymore!!! I think if the game was over right now, I’m going to be grilled to DEATH for being fake as hell to Joey. I think that’s gonna come back to bite me so I need to start talking POSITIVELY about Joey to EVERYBODY. Read him for game, not for personal reasons. And maybe I’ll even talk his game up going forward just so that the person who goes into jury at least relays that I made a “good move” voting for Joey to leave (even tho I didn’t vote for Joey hehe). I wonder if people think I’m just playing tjem as pawns and not as real people.. bc these are definitely real people we are playing with here and I recognize that, but honestly in my mind nobody here wants this as badly as me. If that makes me the villain, I’m fine being the villain. But I’m not a human being that will ever play this game with a passion to play humanely. I want to win so badly. I’m going crazy in my own head, the wheels turning in hyperspeed. I’ve never been hungrier for something like I am for this win... I can hold out another year in this environment if I have to. I can and I will 🤠

Darn third world slow internet connection! Anyway, it made others look like challenge threats more than me, so hopefully that gets me through more rounds if they think other people can win more :) 

That was a very stressful and very tense immunity challenge. Jeff was the clear front runner for the first five rounds, being the first person to advance in all of them. He’s a quick typer which made me very worried I wouldn’t be able to pull off a win. However, the last round was “Name That Song” and with the help of Siri, I snagged the immunity necklace! Final 6 here I come! This round presents me with an interesting dilemma. Since I have immunity I can be a little more ballsy. So I could throw Jeff or Pat under the bus, try to sway Jaiden, Kailyn and Xavier to vote one of them out. Or I can stick with the OG Palazzo group that is saying (for the fifth time I might add) that they want to stick together. That hasn’t worked out at all yet this merge and we’ve voted 4 people out. Pat and Jeff seem pretty interested in targeting Xavier for being a social threat which I don’t disagree with. But Jaiden is a very strong player. This is one of those rounds where I’m insanely grateful to have immunity because there’s also a bunch of advantages out there. I know Livingston has a regular idol now. But there’s vote steals and extra votes and idol nullifiers out there somewhere and that’s so nerve-wracking. Also, Jaiden mentioned to me that this is the last round for a lot of those advantages and I just don’t think I buy that. Final 7 is a weird place for that. Regardless, I’m fully expecting this to be a wild and crazy tribal tomorrow. Can’t wait to see what happens because I get to sit there looking pretty with my new bling. Xoxo Gossip Girl

I am terrified of tribal today and I have a bunch of different ideas in my head but I just want to survive. Kind of where I am at is I feel like I am getting 7th no matter what because I have never tasted top 6 in an ORG. I could play an idol here at 7, waste it, and then just get fucked at 6. One thing I thought about was "finding" the idol part of the way through tomorrow and then letting OG Palazzo know to build trust. The only issue with this is that the idol nullifier is in play. It could still be on the board. It was on the board when I got my auction advantage. But if it isn't, and Pat and Jeff turn on me, I could be fucked idol or no idol if the nullifier is played. I suppose that Pat and Jeff have both never voted me as far as I can tell, unless I have miscalculated one of the vote counts for the past 2 tribals. Maybe it'd be safer to hold onto the idol quietly and just hope I don't leave with it in my pocket. This is so stressful because if I leave with it in my pocket, I look like an idiot that had the luck to get two advantages but couldn't traverse the game much past that. 

Okay so, Jeff is my closest ally at this point. Voting out Joey was our move and I am very happy we did. I don’t express the anger that I’m feeling and I think that helps keep my relationships good with people. I think I’m good with Livingston and Keegan and also Jaiden and Kailyn. I was Xavier out this round but I feel like something is going to happen. No one knows I have an idol which is amazing and I hope I don’t have to use it til final 5 and I have immunity and can play it on someone else for the fun of it. I can’t believe I made final 7 and am actually kicking up playing the game by voting correctly on Joey. I think so far I have 2 of the 4 votes at final tribal council, Andrew and Steph. I think I have a road there, I just hope I make the right decision because I’m still in I a weird phase of the game and anything can happen. 

This tribal feels very weird. Jaiden is insisting he hasn’t heard anything at all about the vote. Which I find very strange considering he’s basically been running things most of this merge. Why would suddenly no one tell him anything? Especially Kailyn and Xavier. Seems like those three are fairly open with each other. I could not be more happy to have immunity this round. No matter what happens, I am safe and have not a thing to worry about. I really really hope that Pat and Jeff are being honest and actually voting for Xavier like they say they are. If they’re flipping and voting for Livingston.... I don’t even want to imagine that. But I’m getting some sketchy vibes. Fingers crossed it’s just me being paranoid, though any time I say that something unexpected happens.

Ok I'm calling it, I'm going home tonight ! Literally nobody is telling me anything and it's really quite pathetic to see Keegan, who says we're super cool and good friends and will be friends once this is all over, win immunity and then not make a single attempt to pick me up and flip me to his side. Unless he's so confident that the Palazzo four will stick loyal to the very end... which they probably will, but Jeff is gonna beat all of them in the end and I think they see me as a big threat or something LOL I guess it's good gameplay for them but I hate it either way. I don't really have a lot to say bc now I just feel dumb. I wish I had an idol, but of course, I do not. Anyways, I'm going to have to stick with the fact that people are voting for Xavier tonight and hope my name doesn't come up at all. I'm going to lie and tell Xavier that I'm certain its me or Kailyn tonight and hope he holds an idol if he has it... or plays it on me heh. We'll see though... What a depressing trip to Las Vegas if it ends like this. 

The last Confessional :( 

[lenientravesty]

fuckin uh,,gay wrath shit

gay month is carrying over bitches because i said so

so uh here’s some random stories about being queer because why the fuck not

1. so basically i first realized i. Was Not Straight when I was about 11ish, and i thought i mightve had a crush on a really good friend of mine who was moving away, but i kinda brushed it off. then the next year i met this. Cute Girl at school and kinda just,,,started hanging around with her until we became really good friends, and turns out,,,we both had crushes on each other,,,,,,so my first Full Gay Crush™ was Also Gay For Me (we dated for just over 2 years before breaking up but we’re still good friends hehe)

2. started questioning what the fUCK a gender was when i was about 11-12 too, and tbh i still dont know? idfk man im just trying to exist

3. when i was younger i thought you had to have a crush on guys?? so every year at school id pick a dude and be like ‘okay i like you this year’ and never once did i realize that normal people didnt do that aslkdjfaslkdfjlksd after a while my parents coughmomcough started saying that they’d ‘always love me no matter what’ and i did Not understand what she meant until i realized. people could like girls and i-yeah so technically i came out at like,,,12? when i mentioned to my parents i might like girls (i used bi at the time bc that was the only other term i knew of outside of gay and straight) but didn’t fully come out until about 3 years later--turns out they knew my friend and i were dating but didnt want to make it awkward by asking me about it alksjdlkzsflksadhgkldjghkladfjghalkdendme

4. ended up discovering. God I Love Women like so fucking much they just,,,preddie

5. (currently!) i use the term pan to define myself if anyone asks but technically i always sway towards girls so i could also use lesbian but what the fuck is language and labels let me like people

okay, now on an actually serious note for people who might still be in the closet/struggling with accepting themself or others/in a dangerous place right now: it would be a lie to say that everything went smoothly. i was on the brink of breaking down entirely when i told my parents that i wasn’t sure i was straight because i knew the connotations of it--i grew up in the early-mid 2000′s, gay was and still is used as a negative term, so i always knew it as this ‘bad thing’ to be. it also didn’t help that they weren’t supportive at first, so i was basically thrown back into the closet. i was also in a seriously dark place mentally at the time with no one to talk to about it (i’ve always been horrible at making friends, so even now i really dont have people to talk to about things going on in my life, which might be why im writing this now? i really dont know anymore). i have family that would disown me immediately if they found out about this--hell, they flipped their shit when they found out i wasnt catholic (not my parents tho, they’re chill now)! and yeah. it sucks having to hide a major part of yourself from the people who mean the most to you. the person i was closest to in the world died last year without knowing who i was. so, no, i’m not entirely out, because that would be dangerous for me. i know that ive had it easier than so many people who have stories similar to mine, but it shouldn’t be something thats difficult in the first place. (also sorry mom, i know you’ve said you expect me to bring a girl home at this point and that you. really want me to bring ANYONE home but hehe romance hard)

to end this on a light-hearted note, i just got a giant 1x2m pride flag to hang in my room and i was able to proudly show it off to my parents who supported me wholeheartedly. i know it’s cliche to say, but it does get better. and im still really young--there’s so much more time for it to get even better than this.

[httpxcastiel-blog]

idfk how tumblr works so heres a thing

pairing: destiel

(idk wth im thinking, its three in the morning as im writing this, give me a break)

Summary: Basically, Cas bothers Dean with a few questions about love and how to make his crush notice him in the way he wants to be noticed. Totally original plot twist: Dean is Cas’ crush and Cas makes his move.

And uh.. the story:

As Dean makes his way to the table in the bunker, he hears the pitter-patter of shoes following just behind him. Prepared for pretty much anything, Dean turns around, knife in hand, and is stopped by Cas’ own hand. 

Dean sighs. “Sorry, Cas. I’m just not used to you walking up to me like this.” He puts the knife away and relaxes himself.

“Dean, can I ask you something?” Cas speaks in a firm tone, ignoring Dean’s words.

“Yeah?”

Castiel gulps and loosens his tie, sweat moistening his skin.

“Cas, what is it?” He stares more concentrated into the angel’s eyes, almost sapphire, he thought to himself, before rushing to push the thought to the back of his head.

“Have you ever had a crush...?”

His vibrant, green eyes jerked away from his friend, and Dean found his seat and sat. “Make yourself comfy.”

Cas approaches the table, following him, and decides on a seat decently distant, and still reasonably close to Dean. Nervously, he sits and his eyes begin to wander, seemingly hitting everything in the room except Dean.

“Yeah, sure, I’ve had plenty of crushes. You can’t really pass high school without having at least one crush.” Chuckling almost silently at himself, the freckled boy leans forward in his chair, stares down at the open book in front of him that he was meant to be reading, and continues skimming through the pages where he left off.

“I have another question.” The angel stares directly at Dean now. His eyes pierce the younger boy’s, and as soon as Dean notices how focused Castiel’s stare was, he blushes a little and looks back down at the lore.

“Shoot.” Dean felt a little uncomfortable now, as an angel was staring at the top of his head and asking him questions about love. 

“What happens when you’re in love?”

“What do you mean? Like how are babies made?”

The corners of the angel’s mouth turned up and he chuckled. “No, I know that all too well. I mean...” He gets more stern. “...what do you do when you think you’re in love?”

“Oh...” Dean blushes a few shades short of ‘tomato red’ and thoughts chase each other in his mind. Angels can fall in love? Is Cas in love? With who? He jokes the thoughts away, knowing they’d only bother him until he got answers. “I guess I know a few people who would say they’d have sex and see if it lasts.”

“What do you do?”

He has to stop and think about it. Has he ever even been in love? I mean, he’s liked someone, but was it love? 

“I don’t know. I don’t think I know what love is anymore, romantically at least. I don't think I ever have. I love Sam, I loved Lisa and Ben like family, I love you...”

Cas clears his throat, now beginning to feel uncomfortable. “I think I love someone. Someone I shouldn’t.”

“Woah there, who is it?” Maybe angels can love?

“He... He’s like family to me.”

Dean stops flipping through the pages and looks over as the angel. A grin appears on his face and he’s confused as to why the way Cas worded that made him so happy.

“You like dudes or something?”

“Dean, humans are all the same to me, considering gender. And by angel standards, I don’t have a gender either. My vessel is only male.” He grows a confused look on his face, wondering why it meant anything to Dean whether or not he liked males.

“He’s human? I thought angels couldn’t like humans.”

“It’s not necessarily approved of back in heaven...”

“Oh, you rebel.” Dean leans forward to playfully punch Cas in the arm. 

“How do I show him I like him?” 

“Dude, I don’t know. Just be upfront with him.” Dean’s focus travels back to the pages

“O-Okay,,,” Cas stands up and walks toward his chair, waiting to gather all of Dean’s attention.

As Dean turns, just after their eyes meet, Cas pulls him in for a kiss, tilting his head up by the chin. 

As fast as he pulled Dean in, Cas pulls away, and stares into Dean’s emerald eyes for just a few seconds more. He’d treasure these moments, and he’d stow them away so that he could look over them later. They always comforted him.

“Cas?”

“Y-Yes Dean?” The angel, now red, turns his head towards the exit, expecting to be yelled at or kicked out.

“Do that again and this time, don’t you dare stop.”

--I KNOW THIS KINDA SUCKS BUT PLEASE FORGIVE ME IM BAD AT THIS OKAY? JUST TAKE IT AND LEAVE PLEASE LMAO--

[7pastmidnight]

Past Curfew- Chapter 1

author: 7pastmidnight 

summary: senior in hs moving into a new town

genre: horror, thriller, mystery, romance, 18+

warning: smut in later chapters

note: this is my first long fic, so please don’t be too harsh in judgement! i will try to release one chapter a week~ all members will be present along with other JYP artists for added characters. there will be lots of texting dialog throughout the story so I used italics to symbolize it~  I tried to type this quickly so i apologize in advance for any grammatical errors.  I hope you all enjoy it^^

key:

italics = texting

y/a/n your aunts name, 

y/a/l/n your aunts last name

y/u/n your uncles name

    Things have taken a turn for the worst. Everything happened so quickly. It’s been less than a month since your dad divorced your mom and kicked her out along with you. Despite feeling bad for your mom, knowing him, it’s not surprising that he would pull such a stunt. He gave both of you a week to pack everything and find a new place. Your mom decided to move in with her sister in Calistoga, a tiny place about 80 miles north out of your hometown, San Francisco. You have a lot of mixed emotions, you feel a small sense of relief for your mom, but you don’t want to leave your childhood friend Jeongyeon. You lived your whole life with her… you couldn’t imagine her out of the picture like that, especially since you both just started senior year. You send her a text. Everything is packed up, we’re about to drive up there now ☹  You are standing outside the house near your moms car. You look back and take in the thought that, this will probably be the last time you will ever be there. Your mom walks out of the front door with one large box in her hands. She crams the box in the back of her white hatchback without even taking one look back at the house. She says, “Come on honey get in the car.”

  You take one last good look at the house before you turn around and get in the passenger seat. Your mom turns on the ignition and starts driving down the long gravel driveway. You pull out your phone to look at Jeongyeons reply. Take me with you ☹

  My mom said she would take me to visit you sometime since its not that far away. Maybe when I visit I’ll hide in your house lol

  We could totally get away with it too! My mom would let you live here. What is even in Calistoga anyway? Sounds lame

Idk literally nothing. It’s way more rural than San Francisco that’s for sure

  Hey I gotta go I have to get ready for school. Good luck! Text me when you get to your aunts!!

   You look outside at the scenery passing by. You suddenly feel a rush of nostalgia, taking everything in like you’re seeing it for the last time. You can hear your mom softly crying to herself over the music coming from the radio. You know it’s hard on her but you’re not sure how to help so you just leave her be. It was only a little after 7 am, the sun is barely starting to rise. You end up falling asleep on the car ride over to your aunts.

    You wake up about an hour later as your mom pulls up to the front driveway of your aunts. You forgot how huge her rustic estate was. You can see your aunt sitting on a chair on her front patio with her yorkie sitting on her lap. Your mom parks right in front of the stairs leading up to the front porch and your aunt walks down to greet you.

   “Glad you guys made it away from that asshole.” She then turns to you and says, “Sorry you had to hear that hon.” You give a slight shrug and walk over to give her a hug. She hugs you tight and lets you go. Then she looks over to your mom and says, “come here you too.”

   As she lets her go and asks, “Have you all eaten yet? I made some breakfast for you and waffles. “Ooh I love waffles.”

   “Oh no sweetie I meant for us and the dog, waffles, that’s his name.” You look down at the little puffball sniffing at your feet. You let out a small chuckle, “that’s cute.” You look up at your mom and she’s hardly smiling. She looks so exhausted. You walk towards the trunk to start unpacking. “Hold on eat breakfast first while it’s still hot. Come on inside.”  Your mom takes the lead and walks in front of you up the stairs. You look around at the scenery and it’s just what you expected… there is absolutely nothing around you except for the two neighboring houses. You must admit though; the autumn scenery is refreshing compared to the city you were used to. You take out your phone to send pictures to Jeongyeon. As you are taking photos you see from a far a guy leaving one of the neighboring houses wearing a black baseball cap, carrying a backpack. You don’t really think much of it at the time and walk inside.

   You take a step inside and walk down the hallway that leads to the living room. She has some family photos on the wall including picture of her with your uncle. You walk into a wide-open living room with high ceilings. Everything looks so clean and untouched it almost makes you uncomfortable. You find your way to the kitchen where your mom and aunt are sitting down at the table drinking some coffee. You take a seat and help yourself to some eggs and turkey bacon on the table. Your aunt looks to you and says, “Once you’re done eating I’ll take you to the high school to get enrolled, let’s give your mom some time to rest.”

               “Okay, that sounds fine.”

“Are you excited to go to a new school?” Your aunt asked.

“Not really… I hope the school year will go by quickly.”

“Maybe you’ll see some cute boys at school… some better than your dad…”

“y/a/n…” your mom quietly snaps.

“Sorry, I’m just trying to give y/n something to look forward to.”

“How have you been holding up since…?” My mom quietly asked.

  “Since y/u/n died?” she chuckles a bit and says, “I’ll admit it’s been a little lonely, but I’ve been having fun spending his money!” What a typical thing for your aunt to say you think to yourself.

   “That’s how I got little waffles here! I named her after your uncle’s favorite food.” She pauses and says, “I’m actually really glad you’re here. It’s a big house, we need some people besides me waffles and Carol to fill it up.”

“I’m sorry who?”, your mom asks.

   OH I forgot to mention Carol? She’s my maid. She comes up during the weekend to clean the house. I don’t know if you can tell but it looks nice in here because of her. Although I mainly hired her so I could have someone to talk about local gossip with.”, your aunt chuckles.That explains why everything looks uncomfortably clean, you think to yourself.

  “Carol will normally stay here during the weekend. When she’s not cleaning she spends time hanging out at some of the local areas around here. She lives in the city, so I think she likes to get away from it sometimes. I let her stay in a room upstairs until she leaves on Monday mornings. Although I don’t think she’ll be happy to clean up after two more people.” Your aunt chuckles.

Your mom asks, “How long have you had a maid?”

    You quietly keep eating your breakfast as you’re ignoring your mom and aunts banter. You look at your phone to see that Jeongyeon replied. It looks like it sucks there. Miss you at school ☹  btw whos that guy in the pic? He looks kinda creepy How would you know who that guy was? You literally just got here. You assume a neighbor maybe? Still, you felt bad. You and Jeongyeon didn’t really have any other friends than each other, you feel like you practically left her there by herself. Not really knowing what to say you put your phone back in your pocket and stare down at the crumbs on the blue flower trimmed plate you just ate from. Your aunt snaps you out of your trance. “Are you ready hon?”

      “As ready as I’ll ever be.” You reply to Jeongyeon saying idfk who that guy is, he looks shady, but I think he’s my aunts neighbor. UGHHHH I’m about to go enroll into my new school. I haven’t even seen it yet but I already know I’m gonna hate it. But the truth is you are a little excited. You never really made friends at your old high school, maybe this time would be different. You say goodbye to your mom and follow your aunt down the hallway out the front door. The sun is fully out now blinding your tired eyes. You get in your aunt’s white suburban Cadillac. Your uncle must’ve had a lot saved up.

   You two drive down a long winding road before you hit the center of the town. You see a grocery store, a library, a park with a large beautiful fountain in the center. The school is far from your aunts, you’re used to school being in walking distance. At a stop light, you see a sign on a telephone pole “MISSING KIM WONPIL”. The guy looks like he’s about your age too. You sarcastically mumble to yourself, “Oh that’s a good sign. I can’t wait to live around here.”

    “Oh the kids around here can be a little crazy since there’s not a lot for them to do to keep them entertained. It’s probably just a prank since October is around the corner.”

“I can’t wait to meet them all…” you reply very sarcastically.

    You two pull up to the school, it’s kind of large considering this is a small town. You don’t see anyone wondering around the grassy and shady front courtyard. You take that as a sign of relief, that must mean class has started already… you weren’t ready to communicate with anyone just yet. Just as you were about to open the car door this loud black dodge charger quickly pulls up in the space next to you, forcing you to shut the door to avoid getting hit. “WHAT THE FUCK?” you think to yourself, you glare out your aunt’s window to give the driver a mean look, but you were taken aback. This handsome, well built, man with blonde slicked back hair and aviator shades gets out of the car and smirks at you. “UGHHH WHAT A JERK” you think to yourself, but then you hear your aunt say, “oh hi Jackson!” what the fuck?? Your aunt knows this guy?? “WHY?” you think to yourself.

   Jackson yells, “Hey Mrs. y/a/l/n I’m running late for class but I’ll talk to you later! Hope you’ve been well.” He runs into the front doors of the school. You get out of the car and look at your aunt with a puzzled look.

“How do you know that guy??? You ask.

  “Oh, when your uncle first died he helped me with lawn work before I hired help. He’s a good kid, just a little wild sometimes.”

    You couldn’t imagine a guy like that helping your aunt, but you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.  You and your aunt make way up the stairs leading to the front entrance of the school. You walk in expecting for the entrance to be a little extravagant, but you were a little disappointed. This school just looked normal.  Navy colored lockers on both sides of the hallway. No students in the hallway, but there were some missing signs of that kid you saw plastered on the walls. They’re kind of taking it far if it really is a prank. The office was up on your left. Suddenly you felt nervous. You take a deep breath and follow your aunt inside.

    There was an older lady with short red hair wearing gold rimmed reading glasses, typing away eyes glued to a computer. Next to this lady was a young man, he was probably a student aid. You blankly stared at him while he was reading some paperwork. He was wearing a black and white stripped shirt, had slightly messy black hair and big ears. He looked up at you and gave you a gentle smile. Shocked, you turn around and observe the room pretending like you weren’t just staring. There’s hallway behind her desk. You guessed that down the hall were the offices of the principals or counselors. Your aunt walks up to the counter, and says “excuse me?”

   The woman looks up from the screen, “oh my goodness I’m so sorry! I didn’t even notice you walked in! You’re here to enroll y/n right?”

“Yes ma’am we are.” You aunt replied calmly.

   “Here, take a seat.” You take a seat in one of the two chairs facing the desk. You feel super nervous now. You really don’t want to be here.

   “I’m so sorry about that! Here if you could start filling out this paperwork Mrs. y/a/l/n.”

   You start to pull your phone out of your pocket to see if Jeongyeon has replied. You’re not entirely sure why you have to be here for this part.

    “y/n, would you like a tour around the school?” the woman behind the desk asked.

    Before you could answer she says, “Jinyoung, could you show y/n around the school?”

    “Sure…”, he says shyly. He stands up and says, “come on follow me.”, he says in a calm tone.

You get up and nervously glare at your aunt before you walk out into the hall.

[nicohischier]

no i’m actually not done it’s late just ignore me and let me go off abt ateez (im sorry)

idfk when i got into ateez but it was probs the fbe vid w them bc hongjoong could not have been any more soft and gentle than he was like he had his cute ass mullet and all his ‘no no i didn’t move it was just breathe’ like boy thought he was fooling the fine brothers w that when he was literally bopping to idol and it was so gentle and then san w his excuse of losing his balance and i just wanted to cry like what the fuck how but someone they wormed their way into my heart and now they’re here and i’m like ?????? bc i don’t actually know when i learned their names and faces but now i can’t forget them because holy shit they’re all so pretty and sweet and gentle and they honestly just want to love each other and bop out to bts and that’s such a mood i can’t even explain it

but like hongjoong was deadass the first to catch my eye and that was fine cause damn boy is fine and i was very okay with that but then i like started watching more of their stuff recently and he’s actually so gentle and he loves his members so much even though they spend half of their time harassing him and he kinda always looks like he regrets joining kqe solely bc that led to mingi but then he’s always just so soft w them and he shows up in the middle of whatever and is like ‘yo i got food that you were talking about craving earlier’ like that’s so sweet bc i mention a craving and my mom/friends legit just go ‘sucks’ and that’s that but he goes the fuck out and he buys them what they were craving and that’s absolute mom move right there i love that for him also he has so much love for his dongsaengs like always even when mingi is testing his restraint it’s just so sweet watching him around them and how he takes care of them like they ain’t all that much younger but he really takes care of them and makes sure they’re happy and doing alright and that’s kinda beautiful to see bc as much as i think kqe is decent obviously the industry is so difficult and the companies aren’t going to coddle their artists even if the oldest is only 21 so it’s really sweet to know that hongjoong (and seonghwa) will be there for them whenever they need someone to reassure them and pick them up after a hard day and that’s amazing i love a leader so much he’s really just fucking perfect to be ateez’s leader i love him and they love him and he loves them and that’s the best thing ever

also like on the flip side from being gentle and caring, yeosang is a fucking smokeshow (so is hongjoong... so is all of ateez... i’m so attracted to them all it’s the most unfair) and it kind of highkey blows me away every time i see him but he’s also like really quiet and soft but he can be a lil shit sometimes and okay look if you give any shits abt what i’m saying do yourself a favour and watch ateez’s fanchant video for say my name okay yeosang is the second guy from the left in the first row and he’s doing absolutely nothing while also doing the absolute most and he’s out here dealing w mingi tryna deafen him and also he’s just really cute in the video like whoever styled him that day????? oof they need a damn raise because boy owned that look and i miss it every single day that i don’t see it also he doesn’t get all that many lines in their songs but i would actually die for his voice it’s such a damn shame kqe doesn’t jump on that because wow his voice

SPEAKING OF VOICES i fucking love mingi’s voice when he raps. like my favourite voice ever is nct mark’s rap voice but holy shit mingi’s is such a close second i love it in hala hala 10/10 would let him serenade me for twenty years. also hongjoongs rap voice ?? also beautiful. him in hala hala? yum thanks love that

ALSO JONGHO THE TINY (not tiny he tall) MAKNAE COULD ABSOLUTELY CRUSH YOUR SKULL W HIS BARE HANDS AND NOT EVEN LYING ID LET HIM LIKE WOW WATCHING A COMP OF HIM SINGING AND SPLITTING APPLES IS SO THERAPEUTIC ! the vid of ateez doing karaoke and he’s breaking fruit literally cleared my skin i’m so serious abt that

san and wooyoung and dumbasses whom i hate and also love and also you should watch their fake love dance cover cause wow stunning. their weird umbrella vlive that yunho crashed was full of dumb fuckery and i live for it they’re so stupid and wooyoung gotta chill before he concusses san w that the poor lad almost died. like fair he nearly broke mingi the other day but didn’t hongjoong ever tell him that we don’t get revenge i’m just

YUNHO RADIATES BIG AND SOFT ENERGY BTW HES SUCH A TALL BOY BUT HES SO GENTLE AND SOFT HES LIKE A FUCKING PUPPY IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY HE JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED AND THE CLIPS OF HIM JUST CALLING SAN AND WOOYOUNG DURING THEIR LIVE TO BOTHER THEM GIVES ME SO MUCH JOY AND THEY LITERALLY TURN HIM AWAY UNTIL HE GETS THEM ICE AND I LOVE HIM AND HE AND WOOYOUNG TEAM UP AGAINST SAN AND ITS GREAT I LOVE HIM

seonghwa is gentle and soft and i love him and he doesn’t deserve me gently insulting him or questioning his beauty he’s just pure and soft and not even i can mess around with that truth

anyways stan ateez ✌️

[doubt-is-the-origin-of-wisdom]

Welp. So this isn't Third. Not just anyway, but I needed to say this and... after deliberating... i figured it wouldn't be good to bring up *to* Trix. Um.

Bc they've made their choice and I don't wanna make it harder for them to move on (idfk if its even hard for them or not but either way, i don't know that any good would come of talking about this *to* them. And harm v well might come if i did.)

Uh, I didn't block them. Hhhhh. But on the off chance they are reading this one day? Um, it has to do w the breakup convo and may be better if u dont? For moving ons sake or whatever. I feel dumb, i doubt they'll see this anyway.

But I do need to get this out. Its one of the biggest What Ifs that I have about all of this. Obviously i cant change the past. But I want to... hopefully by getting this out, I'll maybe be less... I wont agonize over it so much ya know?

"You would stay the fuck away from Luna thays for sure. Yku would let me make sure u were being truthful even if in a normal relationship thatd be too invasive bc i cant trust you

You wouldnt fucking lie.

You would spend time w me and you would work on improving our relationship not letting it get even worse"

When they asked what they'd have to do to stay with me, this is what I said.

Most of it i meant. I wouldn't be okay with them keeping a relationship with Luna after what they did. Obviously I wouldn't be okay with them lying. Obviously they'd have to spend time with me and help me fix our issues.

Everything except the first would be expected in *any* relationship. And the first one is circumstantial, and could have been avoided but wasn't. And that wasn't my decision. I don't think I could trust them if they kept hanging around Luna even if they started treating me decently.

But the thing I've been agonizing over is the "too invasive for a normal relationship" line. I didn't mean that. What I meant was if they canceled on me, they'd have to give me good reason to believe them. And not some throwaway Mom Needs Help line.

I was never gonna try to be some hovering shitbag who didn't let them have their own life.

But by the time i was calm enough to realize what i had really said, they'd already made it clear that they didn't think it was worth it to try w me. I dont know why. But the only thing I can assume is that I wasn't worth it to them to effect their irl life at all.

Sucks.

I get that some people don't wanna do long distance relationships. But they never said that. They just... broke my heart while pretending like they Would Never do that.

But anyway, yeah. I needed to get out that. I have no interest in over monitoring a partner ever. That isnt trust. And I need trust in a relationship.

Ig what i was tryna say was that i wouldn't automatically trust them if they chose me. That they'd have to build it back up. But i worded that horribly.

Heh, i actually almost sent this *to* them yesterday. I think it's probably best I didn't. They weren't really ever very willing to have serious discussions with me, much less honest ones. So I don't think they'd want to at all now that we aren't even together.

I do kinda wish i knew what they thought of me... but asking wouldn't rlly help. Like I said before i wont be able to trust them unless they rebuild that trust. It doesn't look like they intend to...

Honestly it... kinda feels like they are angry or hate me or smn. Idk. Maybe not but. They seemed p short.

I... I get that being friends is awkward but... idk... they said they wanted it. So... I'm not gonna stop yet ig.

Thanks, btw, Third. I couldn't put this on my main blog. I appreciate u sayin i could use yours.

And you're right. I'm done fighting the fact that they are important to me. Sometimes people care for people who do shitty things bc we are dumb animals and cant help it.

But also. No matter how much I care about them and no matter how much i can't control that. I can control my actions, and I will.

Um. Hhh

Re: Chain n Fox, I understand. I'll work on it. And I'm sorry, Chain.

[golbrocklovely]

the chosen daughter // colby brock - chapter thirteen

A/N: this is probs one of the longest chapters i’ve ever written, which is also why it took me a while to write. anything with a lot of dialogue takes a bit for me to write out, so i want to say sorry about the wait. however, hopefully the length makes up for it. thank you to everyone that has sent me such positive reviews about my writing and this story. it means a lot to me. have a good one yall, and enjoy this next chapter :)

story description

taglist: @far-to-many-bands , @idfk-tbh-oops , @muted-mayham , @ughwhyislifesohard , @justtanerd , @ashyoungxblood ,  @cmburgos

trigger warning: cursing, angst

word count: 2848

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wiped the bar down, trying to busy myself. There hadn't been a new customer in over an hour, and Vampiro was closing soon, so most likely there wouldn't be anyone else.

"Why is it so slow tonight?" I noted, turning my head to Ronnie.

"Bloody is having ‘Blood Fest’: all drinks are half priced.” She responded.

I hummed. “See, why don't we do something like that?”

“Would you rather deal with tourists or our regulars?” Ronnie deadpanned.

I sighed. “Good point.”

I glanced down at the end of the bar. A man had been sitting there for hours, staring at his barely sipped drink. His dark haired covered his striking blue eyes. His leather jacket rested next to him on the bar. He breathed deeply, his eyes never leaving the stirring of his straw.

He looked sad, almost defeated.

I slowly made my way over, cleaning up things along the way. When I stood in front of him finally, his eyes stayed down.

"Excuse me, sir? Are you okay?" I asked softly.

He lifted his head, noticing me. I felt a chill run up my spine, his eyes piercing mine.

I cleared my throat. “You... look sad. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Do I not look okay?” His voice was deep, matching his dark expression.

“Well, you ordered that a couple hours ago and haven't drank any of it. You also haven't left your seat since you got here. Most people don't do that.” I explained, my hands resting on the bar.

“I could just be a loner.” He mentioned.

I shrugged. “That's true. But you just don't look... okay, with being alone. If that makes any sense.”

“I've been a loner for a long time. Longer than you have been alive.” His fangs glinted in the bar’s lighting.

He's a vampire... great.

I huffed, turning to leave. “Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you.”

“No, miss. It's... alright.” He stuck his hand out, trying to stop me. “I didn't mean to be so snippy with you. I haven't been in a good mood all day.”

I questioned, facing him again. “Why's that?”

“Do you really want to know?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I have nothing better to do. Lay it on me.” I admitted, half-smiling.

“I don't really know how to explain it. It's a complicated situation I'm in. But... have you ever wanted something so badly?” He confessed.

I agreed. “Yeah, of course.”

“And I'm not talking about something that's insanely hard to get, but something that's in front of you. You already feel like you have it, but you just need the confirmation that it's yours.” He confided, his hand wrapping around his drink.

I nodded my head, my thoughts drifting to Colby for a moment.

He continued. “You just want it. There's nothing else you have ever wanted more than this, but...”

“It's just out of reach. And every time you get closer to it, it gets farther away.” I finished, exhaling wistfully.

“Yeah...” He trailed off, looking down.

I chuckled. “It sucks.”

He smirked. “That it does.”

The man removed his straw, finally taking a swig of his drink. His shoulders relaxed for a moment, his gaze landing on me once more.

“You know... your eyes, they look so familiar to me.” He stared deeply.

“Oh really? Does that line work often for you? Is that how you get all the humans?” I joked, cleaning a glass.

“No. I don't need a pick-up line. If I wanted you, I'd already have you.” He remarked, sucking his teeth, “My powers can be very... persuasive.”

Suddenly, I felt the air shift around me, another shiver running up my back. I swallowed, my eyes falling away from his for the first time.

I hadn't even realized someone new came into the bar until I heard a voice next to us. "Brother, are you done antagonizing the bartender?"

I whipped my head to the stranger's voice. The man stood in the shadows of the bar light, making it hard to pick out his features. He stared at the man I was talking to.

The man stood up, rolling his eyes. "What makes you think I'm antagonizing her?"

"Because that's who you are." The stranger replied.

The man shook his head, downing the rest of his drink. He slid his jacket on, pulling out his wallet.

“Y-you already paid.” I stuttered.

“I know. This is for you, princess.” He placed a $100 bill down, “Thanks for the talk.”

He nodded his head at me and left quickly with the stranger.

I grabbed his glass, dumping it into the sink nearby. I slowly picked up his tip, staring at the purple line running through the bill.

Ronnie rushed up to me, gasping quietly. “Holy shit! You are splitting that with me.”

“70/30.” I offered.

“Good enough for me.” She snickered.

~ \/ \/ ~

"...And that's how I almost got arrested at a Queen concert." Tara concluded, smirking mischievously.

“Wow, that is so crazy that you got to see them live.” I commented.

Tara disclosed. “Every big band that has existed... I've been to their concerts.”

“Holy shit, that's awesome.” I marveled.

“You should have seen me at a One Direction concert a couple years ago.” Tara patted my shoulder.

Kat teased. “I'm surprised Harry doesn't have a restraining order against you.”

We burst into laughter, calming down a minute later. After the weird night I had yesterday, hanging out with Tara and Kat was a nice change of pace. I never really had girl friends like this.

Or really any friends for that matter.

“Oooh, Kat. Weren't you telling me you were working on a new spell the other day?” Tara pointed, changing the subject.

Kat nodded, looking down at the floor. “Yeah I was. It's nothing major, but it's kinda cool.”

“Show us then. Besides, any form of magic in general is so dope.” I spoke.

“Okay. I need to grab my plant from the kitchen.” Kat turned to me. “Jade, could you run into my room and grab my spell book. It's gonna be on my bed.”

“Sure thing.” I jumped up and walked over to Kat's room, stepping inside quickly.

I glanced at her bed, seeing an aged leather-bound book. I grabbed it softly by the tie holding it closed, turning to leave. The book suddenly dropped to the floor, the tie coming undone in my hand. I bent down, grasping the book. My eyes drifted to the bookcase that was in front of me. I gasped suddenly, dropping the book once more.

On a shelf was another leather-bound book. It’s title: Xiomara.

What the fuck…?

“Jade! Did you find it?” Kat called.

“Uh-uh yeah! Coming.” I stammered, grabbing the spell book hastily and running out of her room.

She knew about Xiomara before my dreams...

“What took you so long?” Kat inquired, looking up at me.

I sat down, handing the spell book to Kat. “Umm, nothing. I was just noticing all the books you have Kat. There's a lot.”

“Yeah, I got my own little library going on in my room.” Kat smiled.

“I can tell.” I retorted, biting my tongue.

Tara squinted her eyes at me, then turning to Kat. “Okay... so what's the spell you've been working on?”

“Let me show you.”

Kat placed the plant in front of her. It's brown color and wilted posture made it look even smaller in the large pot. Kat flipped opened her spell book to a bookmarked page. She glanced over it quickly, turning to the plant. Tara and I peeked at each other before staring back at Kat. She slowly raised her hand over the plant, mumbling a spell quietly to herself. A blueish light manifested from her hand, raining down on the plant. The brown melted away into a healthy green, the petals undecayed, a beautiful pink flower sprouted from the stem. More flowers began to blossom from the soil, growing as tall as the original plant.

“Holy shit Kat. That's amazing.” Tara whispered in awe.

Kat beamed. “Thank you. I've been working on this for a bit. It's nothing major but-”

I cut her off, studying the light from her hand. “Hell yes, it is! This is so cool.”

“Thanks.” Kat gazed at me sweetly.

Her eyes slowly drifted down towards my necklace; she became transfixed. Her hazel eyes grew more intense, the color illuminating from her hand changing from the bright blue to a deep crimson.

���Kat? You okay?” Tara puzzled.

She didn't budge, her eyes narrowing even more at my necklace. The plant burst into flames suddenly, Kat's eyes not faltering.

Tara and I gasped. “Kat, snap out of it!”

I covered my necklace with my hand, and her gaze finally broke. She ripped her hand away, noticing the fire underneath. Tara grabbed her water and dumped it on the plant, the fire burning out immediately. The only remnant left was the smoke and the sizzling of the petals.

“What the fuck was that?” Tara exclaimed quietly.

Kat sputtered. “I-I don't know.”

“Have you ever done that before?” I queried.

She shook her head. “No.”

“Why did you get like that? What were you staring at?” Tara speculated, sitting up.

“My nec-” I began.

Kat interrupted. “Nothing. I, uh, just got lost in thought for a moment. That's… another spell I've been trying to work on. I didn't think it would work.”

“Well, maybe next time, stick to bringing plants to life, not burning them.” Tara sassed, grabbing her bag.

“Yeah, I'll remember that.” Kat fretted, her eyes falling to the plant.

“How about to lighten the mood, I do some tarot card readings?” Tara grinned, pulling her deck out.

“Sure, as long as your cards don't catch on fire.” I taunted, shrugging.

“No guarantees. So, who wants to go first?” She dared.

“I will.” Kat answered, lifting her head.

“Okay, Kat. Shuffle the deck.” Tara stated.

Kat grabbed the cards from Tara's hands, shuffling them quickly. Tara's eyes landed on the deck, her purple aura appearing around the cards.

“Wait, how are you able to do a reading on Kat? She's a vampire.” I asked, confused.

“Well... I'm an elder. Most vampires don't know that I am, minus Kat and the rest of XPLR obviously.” Tara informed, glancing at me.

“When were you turned?” I questioned.

“In 1645.” She recalled.

My eyes widened. “Fuck. So that makes you…?”

“374. Plus the 19 years I lived before being turned. So I'm-” Tara started.

I interjected. “393 years old.”

She batted her eyelashes at me jokingly. “Don't I look so youthful?”

“Wait a minute, does that mean every elder can use their powers on vampires?” I suggested.

Tara revealed. “And humans. I don't usually use my powers on vamps, mostly because I don't want them to know I'm an elder.”

“Why is that?” I doubted.

“It's a long story. Trust me.” Tara scoffed.

“Okay, I'm done shuffling.” Kat chimed in, handing the deck to Tara.

“Perfect.” Tara pulled three cards off the top of the deck.

I addressed. “Wait, two of the cards are upside down.”

“That means I read the reversal of the card.” Tara described.

I blinked. “I'm gonna pretend I know what that means.”

“Every card has an upright and a reversal. The reversal, in real simple turns, is the opposite of the what the card means when it is in the upright position.” Tara clarified.

Kat requested. “What do they mean then?”

Tara pointed to the first card. “Well, your first card is 'the lovers', which as it says is about you and your boy toy Sam. Everything seems to be going okay for you...”

“But?” Kat guessed.

“But, there seems to be some jealousy or insecurities standing in your way. Why is that?” Tara accused, cocking her head to the side.

“How do you know that's true?” Kat hissed, crossing her arms.

“Because your next card, 'the queen of wands', is reversed. So, why are you jealous?” Tara repeated.

Kat exhaled. “I saw... on his phone, when he was showing me something, a girl’s name popping up.”

“Oh shit. Who?” I urged.

“Some girl named Maddie.” Kat pouted.

Tara closed her eyes abruptly, her aura appearing around her promptly. Kat and I stared at her; eyebrows raised.

“Maddie... is... his sister.” Tara deciphered.

I mumbled. “Sam has a sister?”

“Yes. Back home, in Kansas.” Tara claimed.

“How do you know this?” Kat puzzled.

Tara opened her eyes for a second, only to roll them at Kat. “The spirits. Duh.”

“Shut up.” Kat quipped.

“They tell me he misses her a lot. They had... really strict parents growing up. Sam wasn't even able to leave his house when vampires were announced to the world. But he saved up all of his money and when he left home, his family cut him off.” Tara expounded, her aura growing stronger.

“He's hasn't talked to them…” Kat uttered, staring off.

“Besides Maddie, no. They don't want to know how he's doing because he disobeyed them.” Tara ended, her aura disappearing and her eyes opening slowly.

“So, you were jealous of his sister?” I smirked at Kat.

“How was I supposed to know?! He hasn't told me that yet.” Kat shouted, grinning.

“Well, now you can go ask him, and stop being jealous of Maddie.” I giggled, lightly smacking her arm.

“That's not the only thing she's jealous of.” Tara declared.

“What?” Kat groaned.

She pointed to the final card. “Your last card is 'the seven of swords' reversed. I think there is something on your mind that you want to confess to. Something about one of us in this room...”

“Really? Do I have to?” Kat whined, her shoulders slumping.

Tara shook her head. “No, but it would be cathartic.”

Kat sighed deeply. “Fine then. I'm jealous... of you, Jade.”

“What? Why?” I blurted out.

“Sam talks about you a lot, and I know at one point I was concerned that you and him were...” Kat’s voice fell off.

“Together?! Oh my God, no.” I laughed.

Tara reasoned. “Yeah, I highly doubt Colby would like that.”

I objected. “Me and Colby aren't together.”

Kat broke in. “Nonetheless, I was jealous of Jade at first.”

“Sam sees her like a sister. He's projecting his feelings of missing his actual sister onto Jade because he feels protective of her.” Tara divulged.

“Did the spirits tell you that?” Kat jeered amusingly.

“No. But I am very good at context clues.” Tara sassed. “Let's read you, Jade.”

I reminded. “I don't think it's gonna work. The last time you tried to ask the spirits about me, you got no answer.”

“Good point,” Tara remembered. “Why don't I ask them about Colby and you then?”

I squeaked. “Me and Colby-”

She cut me short. “Aren't a thing, I know. But maybe we can see why that is the case? Or at least ask about your possible relationship?”

“Can you even do a reading for someone that isn't here?” I doubted.

Tara glared. “I'm almost 400 years old, I would hope so.”

She began to shuffle the deck, her aura appearing around the cards through her hands as she continued her motions. She closed her eyes tightly, quietly humming to herself. Finally, she stopped, pick the three cards off the top. “Okay, so your first card, ‘the magician’, is telling you to take a chance with Colby. It's showing there will be success in your love life right now, but you have to take the first step towards it.”

“That's fun.” Kat praised.

Tara flipped over the next card. “Ohh, this is a good one. So ‘the knight of cups’, when talking about your love life, means romance and flirtation. Meaning-”

Kat cooed. “You and Colby are gonna get together! Aww!”

I blushed, covering my face. “Oh my God, stop it you two.”

“She's right though. I see the two of you getting closer, finally opening up to each other in a romantic way. But make sure to take it slow and not fall headfirst into it.” Tara warned.

“Okay... what about my last card?” I sang.

Tara smiled, grabbing it and flipping it over. She dropped the card instantaneously, a small gasp leaving her lips.

“What? What is it?” I gazed down at the card.

“That's... not good.” She muttered.

“What? What's ‘the tower’ card mean?” Kat requested, picking it up.

“It means... breakup. But...” Tara hushed.

“But what?” I gulped.

“I'm not getting that reading. Well, I mean, not fully.” She explained.

“What are you saying?” Kat asked.

Tara trembled. “I feel like, what this card is telling me, is that you and Colby aren't really gonna break up, but something is gonna come between the two of you. Something... dark.”

“What does that mean?” I murmured cautiously.

“I don't know. But something is gonna come and ruin, possibly end, what you guys have.” Tara insisted. “But it feels deeper than just a break up. It feels like...”

“Like a what, Tara?” I barked.

She whimpered. “A death.”

<< CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 14 >>

[itskindafuckedlol-blog]

Well. I’ve slept.

Friday, July 12, 2019

Okay so my week of recovery isn’t going as well as I thought it’d be, but I guess that’s okay. It is what it is.

Monday I pulled an all nighter, and well yesterday, I came home from work, used my parents bathroom, and fell promptly asleep on their bed, since it was nice and dark there. Woke up at 12 am, went to my room, and slept til 6am. Woke up, thought about going to the gym, then slept intermittently until about 11am. That’s pretty fucked.

I had a phone interview at 1:30. I think I could have done better. I was too general. I should have outlined my skills more, about idk organization, integrity, IDFK something that she could have written down and looked over after. 

I should have at least known it wasn’t an advice role oh my god. 

I don’t think I got it. tbh. But hopefully idk, maybe God you can make something happen. Lessons for next time: 

NEXT INTERVIEW: HAVE SPECIFIC SITUATIONS OUTLINED AND SKILLS

I’m tired. I’m sitting at a library currently, and still haven’t started doing any work. Fuck okay this is good I guess, writing this kinda made me see the time and be like okay fucking work.

It’s just so hard ughhhhhhhh. I just do not want to do anything. I’ve been having kind of bad thoughts about this too. About not wanting to do anything. Cuz honestly in the end, if I have options, and I’m not taking them I should kind of die, you know? If I saw myself lying on that bed, not getting up for anything, not even food, even though I could like idk, shouldn’t I just die? What’s the point? 

I have a significant other. I try to see it from his point of view, him trying to wake me up, trying to get me help, trying to motivate me. But if I just don’t move, if I don’t do anything, then isn’t it all a waste?

Well I guess it’s a moot point. I haven’t given up. I’m still here trying

...

Well. As I sat own to definitely do work, a gentleman in the library asked me if I speak French. Next thing you know, he’s telling me about his wife cheating on him. So that happened.

Poor guy, honestly his situation sucks. He kept saying, “Omg like I’m sorry idk why I’m even telling you.” But honestly, this isn’t the first time this has happened to me lol. Maybe I just have that face or air? I don’t really mind it, I like that people can be so open and trusting like that with me. Although, when he asked to be “friends” it was kinda weird and I kinda did that thing where I’m uncomfortable with it, but felt way too awkward and mean saying no. So. Yeah. I did explain like I’m hesitant to give it cuz I have no time, and the last person I gave it to got mad at me cuz I didn’t reply as much, so hopefully this is okay?

Why am I thinking about it so much it’s a random stranger. But like I actually do feel really bad for him, especially his kids. 

Okay. Do SOME WORK. GO. 

[elizabethschoices]

The Royal Romance, Chapter 5: My Thoughts

“Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me! Help me Oprah Winfrey!”

It’s the morning of the Derby! I am so not ready for this. Thankfully, Maxwell is giving us tips. There’s going to be a picnic and we basically can’t stuff our faces like we would normally. This is Public Eating vs At-Home Eating 101.

Stabbing Drake means that we’d have to actually see the handsome bastard, and he’s been absent for two chapters.

We’re suddenly tested on how we’re supposed to address Bertrand, which I guess is part of Maxwell going over everything with us. It’s Your Grace, and if I had to actually call someone that, I’d douse it with bitter sarcasm. So otherwise, there’d be no change in my usual demeanor.

I don’t know why it would come up, but Bertrand’s full title is Duke Bertrand Beaumont of Ramsford, also known as Duke Ramsford. Ramsford. Rams. Ford. Hell, all they need to do to make some money is create a hybrid of a Dodge Ram and a Ford F-150 and it might be comparable to a Silverado.

(Yes, I am a Chevy type of gal.)

Bertrand is at the door and asks how things are going. We’re about to learn how to enter the Derby and not flash the press while getting out of the car. Step 1.) Wear underwear. Step 2.) Don’t move your legs out one at a time, dingus. Put up both legs and swivel. 3.) Exit car. Congratulations, you have completed the simplest task possible.

Basically what MC said is what I said, just without the condescending sarcasm dripping off of it.

Apparently knowing how to get out of a car requires an Internet search, according to Bertrand. Honestly, fuck that guy. Now he wants to test us himself. Fuuuuuuck.

We pretend we’re meeting him for the first time. We go through the process and suddenly he’s all “What did I do wrong?” and I’m sitting here like I just tapped through the entire process, idfk. I figure that he would only bow to someone of a higher rank than him so I’m gonna say he used the wrong hand???

Apparently it’s an insult if he uses his right hand instead of his left, but otherwise we were right. My question is what makes it insulting and who the hell made that rule up?

Bertrand tells us he’s here because it’s time to leave. MC seems impressed by a limo, which is sad, but whatever, just push the ‘I’m a simple commoner from New York narrative’ and never mind the fact that a limo is really not impressive. They reiterate once inside the limo that the press makes or breaks us. MC asks what types of questions to expect from them, and basically we’re told to tell our story in the narrative we want spun for us. Bertrandsays to us to not be ourselves when it comes to the harder questions and advises us to be someone who loves Cordonia and also possesses grace and poise. That seems fake as hell to me, so I’ll just be myself. I don’t care if the press wants a lie; all I can offer is myself and the truth.

If they ask us about Cordonian apples, we take it seriously. Got it. This was already ridiculous from the start and I’m done questioning everything but my life. It’s the national fruit, one of the most important exports. I’m really not sure why the press would ask me about this though.

We feel great and that it’ll be fun! Of course, Bertrand has to just throw in a snobby comment because he secretly likes us. Sorry bro, your little brother has stolen my heart.

At least Maxwell believes in us. I love my honey pie. <3

We’re at the Derby! There are tons of people everywhere and the press is eating it all up. We make a light comment about a fair, Bertrand yet again is pissed, and Maxwell softens the blow with his cute face smiling at us.

‘My lady.’

Yes, I will totally be your lady.

We’re tackling the press alone, and then afterwards we meet up with the other women in pink tents. And there’s an actual red carpet for this. For a Derby. A fucking horse race has a red carpet. The walk from my bathroom to my bedroom after a shower is more deserving of a red carpet.

As soon as we’re out of the limo, the press flocks to us. I LOVE MAXWELL HE’S SO SUPPORTIVE UNLIKE HIS DICKHEAD BROTHER AND THE ASSHOLE I ALSO HAPPEN TO LIKE AKA DRAKE.

‘Lady Elizabeth Stark from House Beaumont’

I’d really love to get used to that one. Means I’d be married to Maxwell. :P

What is it with these choices? Plain Jane, Lone Wolf, or a mystery girl that no one likes? I don’t really care for any of these choices. The regular woman card doesn’t make us seem exactly royal, which is what they want, the lone wolf card means we don’t play well with others and just see this as an excursion, not something we legit care about. And the mystery option is bound to piss people off because they’re sitting here trying to uncover the damn mystery.

I’ll just go with the regular girl option. But we get story points for it, albeit clichéd story points and we probably could have gotten more from another choice. The reporter tells us there’s a rumor of us being Prince Bradley’s favorite, and then asks us what makes us think we stand out.

I pick the Statue of Liberty option because the first choice is pathetic and the second one is just dumb. More story points, plus we’re a true American girl, in his eyes. Which is what I am, you know. So not a bad thing to be labeled as, in my opinion.

He takes a photo of us, and we’ll provide an aloof pose because this is a serious event but not too serious. He says we’re photogenic! Buddy, if only you saw me in real life...

(Anyone else have that issue where you look great in the mirror but the camera just doesn’t seem to get the memo?)

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? WHAT MYSTERY IS THERE TO BE SOLVED WE LITERALLY EXPLAINED ALL WE NEEDED TO SAY WE’RE FROM AMERICA AND NOW WE’RE HERE AND ALSO BRADLEY AND I SHARE A LOVE FOR THE STATUE OF LIBERTY EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MYSTERY HERE?!

That chick from Most Wanted talks to us next. Not quite sure why our answer to her was a timed choice. We tell her Cordonia, to us, is filled with charm and wonder, I think it said. We get press points. Ana then asks us what qualities of ours makes us fit to rule Cordonia.

lolabsolutelynoneofthem

I guess I can be condescending as hell,, but we’re trying to actually look good here, even if we do want Drake. And believe me, I want him. A lot. Of course, you guys wouldn’t really know that because I hardly ever talk about him because it’s been two chapters since we’ve fucking seen him.

We are graceful and composed!

*loud snickering from the back*

Here comes the question about the apples. Do reporters legit ask these kinds of questions? But if we were ever faced with such a crisis, we’d comfort the people first, since it is an important thing for Cordonia. And then deal with the issue.

That’s the end of our questions, and the press has decided that they like us. If only they knew the real me...

Now we’re lost because we can’t find the damn tents. Great.

MC wanders into a stable, because that makes sense, in hopes of finding someone we can ask about where to go. Why couldn’t she just stick her head in, see a lone horse, and leave? Because we’re dumb, that’s why.

This horse seems upset. Poor thing.

Wind blows and shuts the door behind us. This just got very horror-movie-ey. It scares the shit out of the horse, who then comes right for us. I don’t have any experience with horses at all, so I don’t know what to do. Something tells me that running won’t do anything, but neither will calming it down because wtf are we gonna do? And I read from one person that you’re supposed to just stand still, but this ain’t no damn dinosaur. So fuck it, we’ll try and run.

It’s too fast for us. Is this how we die? Oh god we’re going to cause a scene.

DRAKE SAVED US OMFG BAAAAAAAABE!!!!!!!

He is so hot. He locks eyes with the horse; why can’t that handsome bastard lock eyes with me and maybe kiss me and also love me?

Holy shit, he actually asked if we’re okay. I kinda can’t believe that he saved me. His sarcasm is nice, I love it. I love him. <3

Aw come on, MC, don’t be mad! We ask Drake what he’s doing here, and apparently the prince told him to keep an eye on us so we don’t end up in the wrong place... Like we are right now. Looks like both of us suck at this.

Drake informs us we’re supposed to go to the white tents. Where the hell did pink come from then? He wishes us luck, and then tells us that he’s going to have fun with Bradley. And we can join for 18 diamonds and that’s actually something I want to do, but I only have 14 diamonds. :( Maybe next time.

Hopefully I’ll see you around, my love.

MC thanks him for saving us again, and Drake pushes that onto Bradley.Now we get to voice our opinion on our princey asking Drake to stalk us. It is sweet, but also why Drake? Could it b that it’s because he trusts Drake, since they’re best friends and all? I don’t know, but Drake so far hasn’t seemed to like us that much and Bradley thinks that Drake does like us. Idk. And obviously we can’t take care of ourselves. I’ll just ask why he chose Drake of all people.

Yep, it’s because they’re besties. But MC does make a good point. Why not ask Maxwell? Maybe because Drake is a commoner and Maxwell isn’t? Yep.

Call me Stark again and see what happens. (Answer: Ima jump him so fast...)

Yeah that’s right, take a second glance! You know you want me!

I need to stop.

He says he’ll see us around (hopefully I won’t ever have to go two weeks without him again) and he’s off. We find the other ladies, Olivia makes the typical snobby comment, and Hana, the sweetie, is actually nice to us.

LOOK KIARA DO YOU WANNA FUCKING GO I DON’T KNOW THIS SHIT LIKE YOU BITCHES DO

Hana again is nice to us. We’ll ask how she deals with all of the attention.  She tells us that it’s overwhelming, but she tries and acts like the person that she wants everyone to see her as. Sweets and massages help too. Yes, yes they do.

Relationship boost! She says she’ll introduce us to the pastries from her home. Bad idea, girlie. Once I start, I can’t stop.

The race starts! It’s cute that Hana knows the names of the horses. All, Twilight-Dash? Sounds like some MLP shit.

OMG MARABELLE’S DREAM IS STUNNING

She wins!

MC. Is. An. Idiot. It’s a fucking race, it’s not supposed to take forever to finish!

(Unless you’re watching NASCAR.)

According to Hana, now the real party starts! Next week we’ll get to have a lawn picnic with Bradley. I can only imagine the horrors that will bring.

Until next week!