#sorry i’m not good at giving fun facts without rambling

[mewhenthhe]

can we get any fun facts about your oc mercy please 🥺

OUGH AH what do you want to know!!!!

ummm i’ll do it ian style

-he’s an only child by birth. very unused to sibling behaviors which makes him an Avery Hater at first

-but she did lowkey save his life so you know

-his left foot doesn’t work all that well, due to being mechanical and remotely powered off. he can walk but it’s stilted (nico is working on it, though!)

-he can’t talk. like physically can’t. the operation that put the screen over his face also lowkey destroyed it. there was a catastrophic uh, mishap before they connected his vocal cords, and they got kinda messed up and do not work. not that he has a mouth anymore anyhow

-he likes to play video games. used to be super into competitive shooters but avery is getting him into persona and pokémon

-on that same note, his full name is Emerson. mercy is his gamertag and the only thing nico/avery knew to call him when they first found him and they hadn’t rigged his text box.

-he’s kinda of an entitled prat lowkey…. he’s trying to work on it tho

[yangjungwonisms]

AAA- YJW

warnings: NSFW| MDNI 18+

When Jungwon talked you into taking a road trip for the day you were sure it was going to be fun. And for the most part it was, you two went shopping and he bought you lunch. It was as perfect of a day as you could’ve hoped for. Where things maybe took a turn was when on the way home Jungwon accidentally missed your exit. He apologized profusely when it happened but how could you be mad when he was so sweet, plus it was an accident after all. You thought he had finally gotten you guys back on track when the car got a flat tire. You would’ve been mad had he not looked so upset already, blaming himself for having ruined your day together. Much to Jungwon’s credit he did try to change the tire before he gave up and finally called AAA. The only issue is, it was going to take them about 2-3 hours to get to you. So in other words, you were screwed.

“Baby, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I ruined our night like this”. You’d normally think he was cute apologizing profusely but there was something about the small pout present on his face that made you want to grab him and kiss him. He’s mid ramble when he notices the strange way you’re looking at him. It’s almost dog like how he quirks his eyebrow and tilts his head in confusion. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face”? You thought to yourself that maybe sitting here with him waiting might be fun after all. “Can I kiss you? You look so good right now that it’s making me lose my mind”. Jungwon was a little shocked at your request, he was so sure he’d blown it with you but yet you were asking for a kiss. He never was able to deny your kisses. “does my baby want me to kiss her? God you’re so cute, come here baby give me a kiss”. The kiss was hot from the start, he didn’t start slow, in fact within seconds of kissing you he had his tongue in your mouth. And within minutes he had you struggling to catch your breath. When he finally pulled off of you, his lips were red and swollen from the ferocity with which he was kissing you. “Are you satisfied baby”?

The only thought in your mind currently was how beautiful his lips looked. You always admired how red his lips tended to get when you kissed. You pull out your phone and without a second thought you go to take a picture of him “smile for me baby”. He does so without hesitation. “You’re so silly baby, why did you take my picture just now”? “Just thought you looked pretty for me baby”. That seemed to make him a little shy, but that didn’t last long. “Well I always think you look pretty for me baby. What do you think about moving to the back seat with me”? You pretended to be deep in thought about it, but you couldn’t sit there and pretend you didn’t wanna go to the backseat with him. You two move at an eager pace scrambling to the backseat. The whole ordeal kind of feels like that of two teenagers who snuck out of the house to be alone together.

Once you two are finally situated next to each other he’s quick to attach himself back on your lips. His tongue finds itself in your mouth at supersonic speed. It catches you off guard just enough to have you moaning into the kiss. “mmm you sound so sexy baby. You like kissing me so much that it’s got you moaning like that? How about you come sit on my lap”. You laugh because of course he would take any opportunity to have you in his lap, he was truly insatiable. You’d no sooner situated yourself in his lap before he had his mouth back on you. These weren’t his normal kisses though, they had a kind of dirtiness to them that they didn’t normally. But what was proving to get you worked up was when he started kissing you on your neck, stopping every few seconds to suck hickeys on it. The already intense atmosphere thickened with the first roll of your hips onto his. You didn’t catch his subtle grunts at first but then the more frequent your grinding became the less he could hold back. You two were no strangers to dry humping, hell that’s actually the furthest you had gone physically. But each time you two were together you started wondering why you had waited so long in the first place. Because lately, it took every bit of restraint you had to keep from jumping his bones.

Jungwon moved his hands to your hips, urging you to continue what you were doing. “That feels good baby, keep going”. Jungwon always did love how needy you got when grinding yourself on him. Everything about you was sexy in that moment, he adored the way you looked on top of him and how your brow always furrowed in concentration. You started to speed up your movements and even though the feel of his cock pressing against you through his jeans would have normally been enough to pull you over the edge today it wasn’t enough. Jungwon could tell you wanted more but didn’t quite know how to ask for it. He tried to help you in any way he could, normally that meant moving his hips in tandem with yours. Today he opted to talk dirty to you seeing just how far he could push you before you snapped. “baby, it feels good for you yeah”? Your only response was a whimper. “Mm Won it feels so good”. You were trying to work the courage up to tell him what exactly you needed. “What is it baby? What do you need, tell me. Just wanna make my girl feel good”. You felt a shiver run through your body, you yourself had been trying to figure out what else you needed from him, then it dawned on you. “I need you, Jungwon”. He frowned at that, looking a tad confused. “Baby, you have me. What is it that you want me to do”? You truly did need him too, you decided tonight was the night you lost your virginity. “Want you to fuck me won. Pretty please. I’ll be so good for you, I promise”. His hips stuttered hearing you say that, you two have had discussions in the past about sex but you had yet to have it. Jungwon never pushed it, just wanting to give you time to decide for yourself when the right time was. “Fuck baby, I don’t know. I’d hate for your first time to be in a car. I want to take my time with you, can’t really do that here”. You heard what he was saying but you honestly couldn’t have given two shits about where you had sex for the first time as long as it was with him. “no won please, I can’t wait anymore, need to feel you inside of me”. That seemed to be the breaking point for him, resolve flying out of the window. “Okay princess, I’ll fuck you”. You threw yourself into him pressing kisses all over his neck, which earned you a laugh from him. “Thank you thank you thank you baby. I promise I’ll do whatever you tell me to”.

The first thing Jungwon did was get you out of your pants, he didn’t want to undress you fully given that you were technically still in public. He never stopped kissing you the whole time whispering all of the dirty things he wanted to do to you once you got home. “Baby, it’s gonna hurt a little, gotta make sure I prep you first. Gonna have you ride my fingers okay”? The prospect of doing something so intimate with him had you involuntarily clenching around nothing. Excited at the idea of finally getting to feel him fully inside of you. He gently moves his hand in between your legs, looking up at you every couple of seconds to make sure everything was okay. Slowly but surely he started touching your clit moving his fingers lazily in circles. He was going slower so he could gauge your reaction as to what felt the best. When he finally found the one spot on your clit that had you seeing stars he was feeling pretty proud of himself. It wasn’t long before he started easing a finger inside of you, choosing to slowly pump it in and out of your hole. When you started trying to grind down on his finger he knew you were putty in his hands. “Be patient baby girl, I know you want more but we gotta make sure you’re ready to take my cock. Don’t wanna do too much too fast baby”. You were on cloud nine at the moment, he was making you feel so good you could hardly focus on what he was saying. You were getting impatient when you felt him insert a second finger, starting to pick up the pace at which he was fucking into you. “Feels so good Jungwon”. Jungwon was very fascinated at how well your body responded to him in this moment. “Go ahead baby, ride my fingers”. Once you had the green light you started riding his fingers at a rather quick pace. You knew he wanted you to go slow and work up to it but you couldn’t take it anymore.

After a few more minutes of this you’re finishing all over his fingers while he calls you a good girl and continues playing with your clit while you orgasm. “Baby, let’s take a break for a minute before we continue, yeah”? You were thankful for him in that moment having been extremely out of breath from your orgasm. But then he started kissing you again and it took no time at all before you were begging him fuck you. “you want me to fuck you now baby? Of course I will. You’re gonna have to ride me though, there’s not enough room for me to lay you down baby”. Once you shook your head acknowledging you heard what he said he lifted you off of him for a second so he could start moving his pants down his legs. You’re too impatient and start to undress him yourself. “So impatient baby”. He thought it was sexy. He had waited so long to have you like this that he was going to make sure it was as perfect for you as it could be.

“Come here baby, gonna help you put it in”. You were a little intimidated by not only the size of him but also by the angle at which you were going to take him. He did everything in his power to make it as painless as possible but when you started to inch down on him,you soon realised this would be a little bit harder than you previously thought. You hadn’t realized you were whining until Jungwon’s hands came up and started rubbing up and down your sides trying anything to lessen the pain. “shh baby, I know it hurts but try and relax for me okay”? After a few more minutes you had finally taken all of him in. You felt bad watching him struggle not to start fucking up into you. “Baby, can you distract me for a few minutes”? You knew the only way to start getting used to the stretch of him being inside of you was for him to distract you. “what do you need from me baby”? “Kiss me please”. Tentatively he leaned in capturing your lips in a kiss. The kiss was oddly sweet considering the circumstances, but with time it deepened. Eventually you started to get used to the feeling of him. “baby, I wanna move but I don’t know how, please help me”. At that, he moved his hands to your hips, hesitantly pulling you off of him and then right when he got to the tip he slowly moved you back down onto him. You had to admit despite the slight discomfort, it was really starting to feel good. He could tell by the way your breathing got heavier and urgency of your whines that it was starting to feel good. “oh good girl, knew you’d be so good riding me like this baby. You wanna try it on your own for a second baby”?

At his encouragement, you started moving on your own. You could only move slowly at first but the longer you went at it the better it felt for you. “Feels so good won, fuck. Can’t wait for you to fuck me in your bed baby”. There’s nothing he wanted more in that moment than to flip you under him and fuck you until you can’t walk. But this sight in front of him he wouldn’t trade it for the world. “Yeah feels good baby? You’re doing so fucking good for me. Riding my cock like a pro baby, just like I knew you would”. Once he knew you were feeling good and confident in your movements he started meeting your thrusts from below. You were so lost in how it felt to be fucked by Jungwon that you missed when he moved his thumb to your clit working even harder to get you off. “Think you can come for me baby”? There were truly no words you could’ve mustered in the moment except for his name. Close to the tipping point you couldn’t help but chant his name like it was a mantra. You thought many times about how your first time would go and more importantly how it would feel. Now that you were here in the moment with him, it felt perfect. “oh fuck I’m gonna cum won, fuck I love you so much oh my god”. That was all he needed to push him over the edge, he stilled your movements with his hands and proceeded to fuck up into you at a brutal pace until he hastily pulled you off of him just in enough time for you both to finish.

It takes you both a few minutes to collect yourselves after fucking in the back seat. To your surprise it doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. Although, you have to admit that’s probably more to do with Jungwon taking the time to prep you to take him than it is anything else. The car is silent until you both look at each other and burst out laughing. You’re laughing so hard at the fact Jungwon took your virginity in the back seat of his car of all places. “Oh my god I can’t believe you let me fuck you in the backseat baby”. You answer by smacking him on the arm “Oh hush, you liked it and you know it”. He raises his hands in defeat at that, knowing you caught him. “Do you hurt at all”? You shake your head muttering out a quiet “no”. His body visibly relaxed. “I’m just glad it was with you baby”. He leaned in giving you a kiss on the forehead “yeah? Me too”.

Not long after that the AAA people showed up and changed your tire. You two were happily on your way back home. But not before Jungwon got the last word in “I hope you’re ready for a long night baby, because I plan on fucking you for the rest of it”. Famous last words.

[stygiansun-totaleclipse]

So... I just played the update demo... ... ... ...

Did I cry? Yes, of course I did.

Did I love it? YES, OF COURSE I DID.

I was bawling my eyes out and at the same time I was saying how good this is, this IF? TOP THREE IF NOT THE NUMBER ONE OF MY FAVE IFs!

You destroyed me, again, in the best way possible. You gave me so much and it's not event the first full chapter... I fear what'll become of me when you finish it and I'll play it (over and over again, bc I have to romance everyone, but my first playthrough, I decided it'll be a solo run...)

AND, the first time I saw the promo and the description of the characters and your art I was like: I will go for Kieran BUT NOW I'M GGGNGG because I love Aurynn and Samira and I have a grudge against Celestyl... because I love the siblings and after (again) crying over Parim, you then gave us Aurora and Ember and Castor AND POSSIBLY [SPOILERS FOR THE ONE WHO DIDN'T PLAY THE UPDATE] NOUR?? AAAAA

Anyway, I don't like fate, I hope Kieran didn't have a hand in killing any of our MC siblings (nor Nihm or Lilith/Lucien - I still need to see them and understand gfdgfgdf) buuut... yeah... this was a rollercoaster and, since I love myself very much, thank you, I had to chose again the heartbroken choice and see this: Seven pairs of feet. Now two. I'm... on the... ground... crying...

Anyway, before leaving you with this big ask of me rambling and ranting, fun fact: Since Castor's death, you've taken to using his sword... I couldn't finish to read this out loud without letting out a whimper and cry some more. Thank you, I give it 5 stars out of 5, I would recommend it to everyone, a 3000/1000 and you are such a good writer, your story is amazing and yes, I hope the rooms are not empty, that someone is taking care of them (and Parim's birds) and that nothing (more) happened to the tea set.

I never felt more attached to something like that, ever, but it's PARIM'S SO GNGNGNGN

Thank you, I hope you enjoyed this rambling, if not I'm sorry, didn'd mean to and thank you for making all of this.

The new UI is AMAZING, I love everything and I have to understand a little more how the stats work (it's a me thing, you did a great job! ♥) and I loved the codex.

Did it break my heart, because there was the cause of death? The million question, isn't it? (spoiler: yes)

Tlrd: Thank you, I love it. ♥♥♥♥

Thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺��️❤️💕 What a sweet ask 😭 I always get excited and nervous at the same time to post demo updates and this update was the hardest so far to write so it makes me really happy to hear how much everyone has enjoyed it! ❤️ I’m so honored you consider it one of your favorites!!?! <3

It makes me really happy to see that people like these characters so much! I literally think about them all the time lmao there’s no escape. Every song is about the blorbos. I’m excited to introduce everyone to the rest of them! Hope you’ll give them a chance to warm up to them—there are both good and bad people everywhere in every country and you can never write off an entire people :) ❤️❤️

I ended up changing the weapon choices slightly and making one the main for each of MCs siblings that have died bc I wanted to include that tidbit about MCs weapon being their sibling’s—Parim’s spear, Aurora’s axe, Castor’s sword, or Ember’s bow :3❤️ \(T-T)/

And yes 🥺😭 the sibs’ rooms should never be emptied—Lady Safina still tends to her kids rooms and makes sure they’re clean and that Aurora’s beaded curtains still clack and clatter in the breeze when she airs out the rom and that the birds won’t ever abandon Parim’s balcony. She thinks they’d have liked that.

I put a lot of work into the UI changes and implementing the codex (coding is so hard 😭) so thank you!! I’m excited to keep adding to it and I gotta figure out how to adjust the UI and interface of it. :P Problem for future me 😰

Again thank you so much for reading and for your ask!! ❤️❤️ I always love hearing from readers no matter how big or small!! 💕:D

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi! Other people have talked about this, but have you ever thought about how the destruction of Kaz's life led to the preservation of the other crows' lives? Without Kaz, none of the other five would have made it to the events of Six of Crows. Inej and Nina would've died at their respective brothels, Wylan and Jesper probably would've died in the streets of the Barrel, and Matthias would've died at Hellgate. I just think it's interesting and almost poetic how all the horrible things that happened to Kaz meant that he was in a position to protect the other crows from horrible fates themselves. Kaz was all alone with no one to help him, but he helped the other crows through his personal tradegy. Five lives were spared while one was destroyed. It's especially considering Kaz's 'destroy everything' mindset. I wonder if the crows realise this. I wonder if Kaz realises this. How would they all react? Sorry, this got really rambly, I just can't stop thinking about it. Do you have any thoughts about this? (Hope you don't mind me asking?)

Hi, first of all of course I don’t mind you asking I live getting questions so much!!! And second of all this is such an interesting topic and it’s so true!! This probably includes a lot of the same things that you’ve already said, but I’m just going to copy and paste a text message I sent my friend about this topic about a year ago:

“I’ve thought about this before and I really think it’s a true statement of Bardugo’s writing skill; they’re lives aren’t inexplicably intertwined or connected so they met by fate for an inscrutable purpose, but their connections with each other allow them survival and to achieve their purpose, whether they believe it to be divine or otherwise, but it’s Kaz, who feels outside of or desperate to the group, that is the cause of it all. He represents so much without doing anything, he is their entire life force in so many ways, but the real tragedy of his story is that his happiness was sacrificed because his purpose is to lead them to their purposes. Nina’s purpose is to unify Fjerda and Ravka, Matthias’ purpose is to lead her there, Inej’s purpose is to protect young people like her, Wylan’s purpose is to create change in the upper classes and to make people realise the hardships faced by everyone in the city, and Jesper’s purpose is to guide Wylan to that. But Kaz? Kaz doesn’t get his own fulfilment, he had to sacrifice his childhood to give them their fulfilment instead, but he will never realise that. His loss of Jordie means that all of them can achieve their purpose and change the world, but Kaz has been left with nothing but blame that he must find someone to pin on. So he gives it to Rollins. Rollins is by no means a good person, but the undeniable fact is that Jordie still would have caught the Queen’s Lady Plague, and probably still died from it because even the richest people who could afford medicine were still being killed by the outbreak. Kaz needs someone to blame and get revenge on so he can bring his own fulfilment about, and I think that’s the most heartbreaking thing about him. Everyone he’s ever cares for found their purpose, but he has nothing beyond destroying Pekka Rollins - and he even admits it himself. He says he’ll take down Rollins, and when asked what he’ll do next he says “I don’t know. Build an empire, then burn it to the ground” ”

Fun fact: that conversation culminated in me saying that I wished there was some way of writing my essays about the Grishaverse, or basically saying that essays shouldn’t be gatekept to academia and that if I want to write and publish studies of the Grishaverse then I should be allowed to. All of you have made that possible for me, it’s amazing, and I can’t believe there are nearly 1000 of you following along thank you so much

Thanks for your question!!!

[beanghostprincess]

If you’ve seen the part where Winry gives him her earrings… you’re really close to another super emotional, gut wrenching scene that gets me every time (from Ed’s pov).

Personally I don’t ship either of them with anyone else because their scenes are just so… like it’s so obvious they’re so completely and irrevocably in love with one another that I can’t imagine them loving anyone else or even just crushing on anyone else. Like on one hand they’re two very well written characters with their own interests and passions unrelated to the other, which is great to see because I don’t like when characters only exist within a ship, but on the other hand, at the same time they love one another so much that it’s like the other is their world? In a way? Like the other is always on their mind and they’re always worrying for one another and wanting the other to be happy. I’ve always thought Ed has actually loved Winry since they were kids and that Winry fell for him as a teen, or at least that she realized she loved him when she was a teen. But the thing with Ed and Al arguing over who would get to marry Winry someday when they were kids, and Ed being the only one still thinking about it and being so flustered when he asks Winry about it, is a pretty big sign for me that he indeed fell for her back then and has kept on loving her all along (trying to hide it from others and failing miserably) while Al prob had a small crush on her as a kid, and eventually moved on and saw her just as a best friend and as a part of his family.

Idk I’m just rambling sorry hejhfkds I love seeing your FMAB posts, it’s always fun to see the first reactions of someone to a piece of media you love, especially when they’re as positive and wholesome as yours have been. So thank you for sharing that with us (and good luck for the incoming scene I mentioned… and for the finale. They might ruin you… but in a good way lol)

Yesterday I watched the scene in which a pipe (or a beam? Whatever that thing was) fucking goes through Ed's body (disgusting. Thank you. I almost died of a heart attack) and he almost dies and only gets up and fights against it because he "doesn't want to make her cry for something so dumb" and I think these two are going to be the death of me (also Winry screaming for Ed when Al doesn't respond. I am throwing up. I can't do this).

I ship Ed with Ling and Winry with Paninya because I have the magical powers of a multishipper, but I do agree on the fact that they're indubitably in love and I'm 100% sure they're together in every universe no matter what. They love each other so so much it makes me melt every time. The other day I had to pause the show to scream about them (sometimes I pity the friend that watches the show with me because he has to deal with me doing a character analysis every fucking time something happens).

And please!! Keep rambling about Fmab whenever you want in my inbox (without spoilers ofc until I finish this) because I just love talking about it. It's becoming one of my favorite animes for sure <3 I'm so so glad you like seeing my opinions on this!!

[greenerteacups]

Long ask ahead! Sorry in advance for my rambling!

I’m a huge fan of Lionheart! (Latest update got me furious btw, your Umbridge characterization is amazing; i need. Revenge. the woman is vile)

my long ask today is on the topic of writing fanfics, or beginning to; i’ve been a fan of hp for a longish (?) time (i am currently in my first year of college, so since elementary school) and i want to start dipping my toes in writing fanfics, esp dramione. problem is, i have all these grand plans and ideas but i struggle with motivation and perfectionism — especially perfectionism. this has been a long standing problem on my end, but if every line is not to “my standard, or “perfect”, i feel deeply dissatisfied and i find it impossible to move on. i’m also very flighty — i get distracted easily, and lose momentum. i have so many ideas that i want to try out that i end up having a plethora of projects, none with a resolution. do you deal with this? what are your biggest struggles with writing? how do you move past them?

i also would like to say that i know that you’ve stated that writing is all for fun, but if you were to get published, i would 100% buy! i really hope you’re doing something in the creative industry, because really, your writing is amazing.

Hey, what up! Thanks so much!

If you'll permit a bit of tough love: it sounds like you don't really like writing those projects. There are a lot of reasons someone might leave a project, but when it comes to free hobby writing, if you've abandoned something, Occam's Razor, it's because you don't want to do it anymore.

And BTW: that's fine. You're not legally obligated to finish stuff. You're not under contract. If you're a hobby writer, your sole obligation is to have fun and please yourself. I've written tons of stories without middles or endings; I've got dozens of 3 or 4-chapter would-be longfics sitting on my drive, with absolutely no intention to finish them. I'm totally fine with that. This is something I do for fun. Why would I bully myself about not being sufficiently "productive" in something I'm doing for fun?

But it sounds like maybe you want to finish a fic, and/or see finishing as a prerequisite to publishing, in which case: you need to keep writing a project after you're bored or dissatisfied with it. In fact, I'd go so far as to suggest that you should go back through your drive, find the project you like least, and force yourself to write 1-2 pages on it. Because you are never going to be as pleased with what you've written as you are with the fake perfect story in your head. Even the worst, shittiest, misspelled, poorly plotted story that exists is better than the fake perfect story, because it exists, and is real writing, rather than just being the concept of something that is well-written. Abandoning a story because it doesn't live up to the hype is like refusing to eat because what's on the plate isn't as good as the Platonic concept of a chocolate cake. Like, of course it's not, dude! You didn't imagine it as having flaws!

It seems like you know that, which suggests that you need to force yourself to write something that you don't want to. So try shorter stuff! Writing short stories is a great way to learn the tools of the trade while giving yourself less time to burn out. Make it easy on yourself. And like, remember to forgive yourself. There are some things you can bully your brain into doing. Sincere and authentic art is not one of them.

[starry-nights-garden]

Golden Child Reaction ✧ Making them blush

✧ Golden Child all members x gn!reader ✧ genre: fluff, reaction, established relationship AU ✧ warnings: none

Daeyeol:

it’s a normal evening when you’re going out on a normal date with your boyfriend Daeyeol

really, nothing is unusual about the occasion at all - you’re looking forward to seeing him and to spend the next few hours with him, just like you usually would

since you’re going out for dinner, you pick out a nice outfit, paying attention to detail, but otherwise you get dressed without any second thought

when he finally rings your doorbell to pick you up and you let him in however, he seems flustered

he can’t take his eyes off of you, and there’s a rosy blush dusted onto his cheeks before he can finally make himself speak in order to say hi to you

“Wow, I just… you look amazing." 

he causes you to get flustered too with his reaction, and after giving you a peck on the lips, he’s right back at staring at you

keeps telling you how beautiful you are to him throughout the evening and finds himself blushing at you time and time again

Y:

he’s had a long day, so when he finally comes home late at night you immediately notice how out of energy he is

he won’t forget about saying hello to you and giving you a kiss as he always does when coming home, but after that he quickly disappears in the bathroom to wash up, wanting nothing but to sleep asap

you find yourself feeling sorry for him, as it’s rare to see him so out of energy

so when he comes out of the bathroom about ten minutes later with his hair still wet, you take him by the hand and make him sit down somewhere

"Babe, I need to dry my hair…” - he tries to protest, but you can tell he’d rather just fall asleep right then and there

so you bring the blow dryer from the bathroom, telling him that you’ll do it for him, and without leaving him a choice to refuse, you get to work

he’s taken by surprise by the nice gesture, and having you running your fingers through his hair while drying it for him feels heavenly to him

warmth spreading in his chest, he eventually finds himself blushing, and when you’re done he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his lap to thank you and to share a few sleepy kisses with you

Jangjun:

he’s supposed to attend a friend’s wedding and asked you to help him pick out a suit to wear

and it wouldn’t be Jangjun if he didn’t thoroughly check himself out in the mirror after every outfit change :’)

“I look really good in this.” - shamelessly compliments himself and then turns around to let you have a proper look too

and you would’ve cringed at his attitude or made fun of him for it, if it wasn’t for the fact that you find yourself agreeing

he’s wearing a classic black suit, and you can’t help but think he looks even more handsome than usually right now

and the expression on your face as you marvel at his looks alone is enough to make him uneasy, but when you actually compliment him he immediately denies it, his ears taking on a deep shade of red

“Ah, what are you saying! I’m not that handsome… I didn’t mean that earlier, you know that!" 

very awkward and flustered about your reaction to the point he eventually just pulls you in for a kiss so at least you won’t look at the state he’s in for a few moments :’)

Tag:

you’re hanging out together in your room, when once again his mind latches onto a topic he just can’t shut up about

excitedly rambles on and on as you listen to him talking about his seemingly never ending train of thought

you think it’s cute how he gets so carried away, and you find yourself listening to him intently, even though you’re not entirely sure if you understand all that he’s telling you about 

that’s until eventually he stops himself and apologizes, forcing himself to wrap up

you tell him it’s okay, you like listening to him talk, and also you find it very cute

that’s when he’s suddenly speechless, a deep blush creeping onto his face

"I-I’m not cute!!” - stutters repeatedly as he complains about you calling him cute

really, he’s just so flustered by your words that he doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings

“What are you saying? I’m not cute - you’re cute!!”

this somehow turns into a fight over who’s cuter, until eventually you both notice how stupid the argument you’re having is, and you simply burst out laughing

Seungmin:

you’re spending a lazy afternoon together, cuddled up on the couch with a movie you’ve both been wanting to watch for a while

however, it turns out less fun than you imagined it to be, so as you find yourself getting bored, you decide to turn your attention to your boyfriend

you place a peck into his neck, causing him to pull up his shoulder and to move away from you because of the ticklish feeling

his reaction amuses you, so you continue scattering little pecks in his neck that eventually turn into lingering kisses

“W-what are you doing?” he eventually asks, stumbling over his own words

when you look up to shoot him a mischievous grin, you discover the light blush that has appeared on his face

and now you’re suddenly feeling shy too, because you don’t see your boyfriend blushing often in the first place

so eventually you just wrap your arms around him and go back to cuddling with him, as both of you are trying to calm down your fast beating hearts

Jaehyun:

you’ve been having a few stressful days lately, so when one day you come home and you find that your boyfriend must’ve cleaned your apartment for you, you feel thankful

it’s not that you couldn’t have done it on your own, but you feel relieved that you won’t have to worry about this for a few days now

you find him relaxing on the couch with his phone in his hands, and he looks up as soon as he notices you

you thank him for helping you out, your hand finding its way to the top of his head to gently ruffle his hair in a gesture of affection

“I hope I did everything right,” he says as you sit down next to your boyfriend and snuggle up to him

and now you notice the way he’s blushing at your earlier action

teasing him about it, you pat his head again, watching his blush deepen in amusement, while all he can do is whine at you and then eventually surrender to your touch

Jibeom:

originally he was trying to fluster you

but you know your boyfriend well enough by now, and it’s not the first time he attempts something like this

he sneaks up to you from behind, planning to surprise you with a few kisses scattered in your neck

however, as you can hear his footsteps approaching you, you decide to turn the situation around on him

so you quickly spin around on your heels as he’s almost there

he raises his eyebrows in surprise, about to sigh in disappointment because his plan failed

that’s when you press a sudden kiss onto his lips, and when you pull away you can see a slight blush dusted onto his cheeks

“Ah, what is this…” - Jibeom takes a step back, raising his hand to his face in a sorry attempt to hide his blush

looking at anything but you, he tries to calm his racing heart, but in the end he has to admit that it’s no use

will eventually just give up, and when you kiss him again, you can feel his lips readily melting against yours

Donghyun:

it’s your one month anniversary when you decide that you want to do something romantic for your boyfriend

you feel like so far he’s been taking care of you more than you were able to return the favour - always making sure you feel comfortable and safe with small gestures

so you feel it’s about time you properly showed him your gratitude - and what better way than to do it traditionally, with a bouquet of flowers?

so when he invites you over for dinner to celebrate the occasion, you pick out flowers you think he’ll like, and when you show up at his door with the bouquet hidden behind your back all secretively, he quickly catches onto the fact that you planned something

however, as soon as you hold the flowers out to him, his expression changes to genuine surprise

it takes him a while to register that you went out of your way to get him such pretty flowers, and as a broad smile appears on his lips he can’t help but blush

“Thank you… ah, I didn’t expect this…” - he’s not sure how to express just how happy the gesture makes him, so eventually he simply pulls you into a tight, warm hug

Joochan:

you take him completely by surprise when you suddenly burst into the room as he’s just trying to watch tv at the end of the day to unwind

he was spacing out while staring at the screen, so you startle him pretty badly, but you don’t let that bother you

instead, you burst out in a song from a musical he recently starred in

you had been joking about how you wanted to learn that specific song, and though you’re far from singing it as well as he does, you still wanted to show him your progress

and now that it’s dawning on Joochan what’s happening, he bursts out laughing

seeing him like this, you can’t keep it together for long, eventually just laughing along with him instead of singing

he gets up to take you by the hand, taking the lead as you finish the song together

and only now do you realize there’s a blush on his cheeks as he excitedly smiles at you

pats your head and praises you for learning the song all on your own

and then he’ll start singing the next song, making you dance along to the tune, turning this evening into an unplanned late night karaoke-session to have fun with you

Bomin:

this guy is somehow always on top of any situation, so in order for you to even get a chance at making him blush you need him to have his guard down first

admittedly it’s usually him who flusters you - so at some point you decide it’s time for you to turn the tables around!!

that’s why you make a plan

when one day he comes home from work late and exhausted, you take your chance and you approach him while boldly flirting with him

and well, he’s not exactly blushing now, but he sure is flustered, not knowing what to do with this new situation

lets you approach him and eventually the tiredness has him melting against you in a long, slow kiss

and when you pull away for air for a second, you almost grin to yourself as you notice that the tips of his ears have turned red

however, a moment later you feel his lips on yours again

needless to say, your plan is soon to be forgotten as you continue sharing sweet kisses

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Uh. I've never done something like this before, but I love this concept, and my POSTAL obsession is hitting my hard, so.

Can I please get a POSTAL matchup? 🥺

I'm a cis guy with currently dyed hair that's faded, and I look like a natural redhead. I'm kind of skinny and have been called a "twink" before because of it, if that helps describe, lol. I love violent single player video games, but also adore anything of the horror genre, and will often be watching a horror movie (I have several on DVD: My Bloody Valentine, Halloween, Terminator, etc). I also love classic films and am a movie nerd. I love classic rock bands like AC/DC, Styx, Kansas, you name it. I like to draw, animate, make student films, write novels, and do stop-motion. I also like to speed run pretty much any task I give myself (usually finishing a sketch within twenty minutes or less). My humor is so bad and tends to be on the really dark or really sexual side, which is funny considering I'm on the aroace spectrum, lol. I dress very extra, often wearing at least two necklaces, earrings, one ring, a watch, usuall a button-up or coat, worn jeans, and work boots. Think a mix of JD from heathers and Dean Winchester from Supernatural, but a lot more graphic T-shirts. I actually have an outfit in my wardrobe that's very similar to P2 Dude, lmao. Aside from that, mental illness wise, I have autism, dyslexia, anxiety, and I'm kind of guessing I have depression, but who doesn't these days?

I hope that's enough info, and I'm sorry if some of this is just me rambling, ehe. Again, I've never done this before, so I hope that's alright. <:]

Thank you so much. :]

No problem! After all, I too am enslaved to the Postal obsession myself.

I match you with:

Postal 2 Dude

Ok so I admit I almost did Postal 3 Dude from your from your appearance alone so I could call your ship name “Paradise Lost”. But then I realized there is no other Dude more perfect for you than the classic himself. Also, based on your personalities, I think you’d want to fucking deck the 3rd Dude after 5 minutes.

Double twink duo. He’s a bit bonier with his hair a little scruffy. Has a little pudge of tummy due to alcohol consumption and a few scars on his chest.

You don’t have to worry about being aroace. The Bitch was right about Dude being bad in bed for the fact that: 1. He has erectile dysfunction 2. Can’t perform shit because he lasts 3 mins tops and most importantly 3. He has little drive anyways. He can shut up his hormones alone when he has to. Nevertheless, he too loves dirty jokes just for fun.

Dark humor is his forte. He pushes the boundaries often. He prefers making fun of the occurrences of ignoramuses around him. And of course, anything about that good ol’ fashioned ultra-violence! If it ever sounds too offensive, it’s never out of genuine bigotry. It’s only because he loves fucking with people to get a reaction. He hates everyone equally. Except you, pumpkin😘

The Dude and you both endure the turmoil of mental illness hand in hand. His own issues are schizophrenia, neurological brain trauma (the suicide attempt was not the first head-wound he got), ASPD and possibly Asperger’s.

His take on it all is to ride it out and conquer it when it happens. He will be very supportive when the going gets tough for you. If he trusts you, then you’re in it for the long haul together. “Hey. I get it. It really sucks. But I promise I’m not going anywhere without you. You make life worth it.”

He doesn’t play video games. He will likely make fun of you for playing them… and then ever so slowly start denying that he was on your computer enjoying the game he watched you play. “What the- No! I’m not a fucking nerd.” Yes, Dude. Yes you are. Just like the rest of us. Don’t

He will likely buy you cool necklaces, chains and pins for you to wear. Also, he is a simple man in terms of attempting romance. He will surprise you coming home with a gorgeous flower bouquet.

Fuck yeah! Another fan of horror! He’s tough enough to handle it. Dude usually likes psychological thrillers, abstract arthouse horror, and cheesy dark comedies the most. Not a fan of horror games. It’s really funny to see him clearly a bit stirred up from them. He tries too hard to brush it off like it doesn’t bother him. Be a dear and try to soothe his nerves. Maybe curl up next to him watching a classic film of your choice.

I think he would love your artworks. Between stop-motion, writing and visual art, you sound like an incredible visionary! Dude is always asking what you’re working on and wants to support you. (Writer’s Note: I adore stop-motion and salute you!! It’s so underrated as an art form)

He likes nu-metal, grunge and classic rock. Sometimes, he just listens to random muzak since it has a semi-calming effect on him. He’d love to put on something like The Doors or Cars while spending time with you. Talk about being his soulmate

[ace-of-hearts-and-spades]

Top 5 albums (based on cover art) and top 5 albums (based on the music in them).

Sorry it took me a minute to get to this, I had to go to class and I wanted to give it a good think. But this ask is fucking amazing thank you

Top 5 albums based on the actual music:

See You On the Other Side, by Korn. I know it’s not the usual pick for favorite Korn album, but it’s the first one I listened to all the way through and I’m very attached to it. The art for this one is also pretty sick. Plus it has the best fuckin bonus tracks of all the Korn albums.

Slipknot, by Slipknot. My favorite Slipknot album swings between this one and The Subliminal Verses, but right now it’s this one. Just pure nu metal rage and hatred.

Fallen, by Evanescence. My mom bought this album by chance when I was a toddler and I grew up listening to it. It was my introduction to metal, particularly nu metal. Extremely formative. I have a lot of fondness for it.

Welcome to Horrorwood: The Silver Scream 2, by Ice Nine Kills. It’s a metal album about horror movies, of course my dumbass is gonna love it. And I definitely prefer it to the first Silver Scream. I think it shows the band's skills and versatility better.

Black Labyrinth, by Jonathan Davis. What do I even say about this one. It’s fucking amazing. The different world instruments really make this album feel special, and of course I fucking love JD’s voice.

Top 5 albums based on cover art:

Putting this under the cut because I’m including pics and I’m gonna ramble about art shit. And I just know I'm gonna remember a bunch of cool cover art I've forgotten once I hit post

The Nothing, by Korn. Conveys the entire mood of the album so, so fucking well. The fact that the human figure is both made of wires and tangled in them creates this sense of being inescapably, innately trapped. It creates this sense of escape being impossible, that it’s pointless to even try. It feels dark and bleak and twisted. And that’s perfect for the songs on this album. It’s understated, but I think it’s just so damn effective.

The Bitter Truth, by Evanescence. Okay, this is another one I like because it’s simple but effective. Is it maybe a bit on the nose? Sure. But it works. It very much demonstrates the concept of the bitter truth being a nasty little pill you have to swallow. That’s the whole point of the album’s title, themes, and hell even its release date. The little X_X face on the pill feels a bit tongue in cheek too, which I like.

Mother, by In This Moment. I’ve only listened to couple songs on this album but I really like the cover art. I’m a sucker for religious imagery and themes, but I love that the cover conveys the album's undertones without overtly displaying traditional religious symbols like crosses or what have you. Instead, we get a halo-like crown and figures in pristine white. Figures that look a lot like ghosts – and that ghostliness, along with the dark tangled roots reaching up to the central figure, also suggest death and decay. Idk man I like the vibe.

Steal This Album!, by System of a Down. I don’t have anything deep to say here. This cover’s just cool and fun as hell.

Bleed the Sky, by Reveille. Have I ever listened to Reveille? No (though I intend to eventually, they’re on my list). But I don’t care. This album cover is sexy as hell. The colors are delicious, that orange is delicious, it feels kind of sexual, and I want to eat it. That is all.

[lqfiles]

🐣🐣🐣 anon hereeeee. ok??? why’s haechan so cocky i hate him 🙄🙄😒😒 who does he think he is… (he’s hot) i liked the chapter a lot btw i love all your smaus (two i think) ☹️☹️ sometimes i search for a smau and js find really ugly ones (no offense i truly mean no offense with this) while yours are js so… accurate to the real app? like for imessages and twitter they look EXACTLY like the app itself

ok enough, yesterday i was about to fall asleep and i asked myself whether or not, after how popular stg got, did u choose the title to ptp thinking of what “abbreviation” (idk if thats the right word in english) people would use with it? like whether it would sound good or not?

i hope you’re doing great again and having a fun or light week. if you find yourself in a position of struggle, a break is always a good idea. be mindful of your own worth and make sure to not let people make you feel less than what you deserve 😠 take care and be healthy, goza de salud y amor!

about my ppt and test… i can say that thursday and friday were the worst ones. on thursday i have 5 classes, from which i did 4 “tests” (idk how to say it in english but i mean 4 different ways to give me a grade), PE saved me that day. at friday i was supposed to have 3 classes and 3 “tests”, but my personal bff (art teacher) gave us one more week to deliver the project so yay, i did ok in my spanish test and the history ppt was ass.

ok i got a little mad here sorry for the rambling

i had to speak on the URSS’ economy during and after WW2 but my other classmates took 3/4 of the whole class for their own fun presentations so i had to keep my part going after bell rang :( ugh i was so stressed and i messed up and made a weird noise like “eek” and the whole class laughed… that was embarrassing. also we use canva for presentations like these and my friend (A) kept telling me that my completely normal slide was ugly and that she would change it, i told her not to and she kept insulting me… my other friend (M) defended me tho. then the next morning my other friend (R) changed the ENTIRE presentation —not just my slides— and my best friend (J) got mad at her and protested (which is something i cant do cause im a little shy or ashamed to stand out for myself), but R yelled at her and insulted the way her slides looked, J changed her tone but wasn’t screaming, at this point i didn’t gaf anymore but i got mad at the fact that R was disrespecting J, so i screamed a little too hard at R scolding her for not being able to defend herself without screaming… i think i made her feel bad bc all of my friends stayed quiet after that :( im struggling cause at some point she kinda deserved it for being so rude, but at the same time maybe i got too carried away ☹️

but i did well on most of my “tests” this week! i like to think it was all thanks to you and your good wishes :)

do you ever get strokes reading my messages? im sorry if u do… i get nervous when sending u asks :( i swear im better at english than u may think… also i think i talked way too much im sorry if it bothers u, dont feel obligated to answer 💗💗💗🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

- love, 🐣 anon ! <3

ps: i think this is my longest ask yet… maybe longer than the first one i sent u about how much i loved stg? the long ass one……… idk! i hope u have fun reading my beef ig…….. love ya!

you might think i’m lying but truly, that’s not what crossed my mind while coming up with the title loll. i knew that i wanted a witty title that related to the story and the genre of the story just like stg was, and the whole concept of ptp is that y/n moves to a cheaper apartment where she can pay the rent while also having to deal with haechan. pay the price = LITERALLY pay the price of her apartment but ALSO paying the price that is having haechan disturb her peace, pretty witty right? it was honestly just a coincidence that it ended up being three words as well as having a nice abbreviation lmao

he’s hot and i he will be hotter in the future too unfortunately. thank you for liking it so far tho as well as my other smaus (literally only stg) ALSO I FEEL YOU ON THAT PART tbh i’m so accustomed to the social maker twitter lay out and messages that whenever i see another format it catches me off guard lmao, but people are just using what they can, and it’s the story that counts in the end i guess.

you’re always so cute i can’t help but smile :)) i’m doing good and i have a two week holiday soon so i’m even more happy, i would never let anyone make me feel less than i am, but if i ever do i’ll remember your words!!!

THAT SOUNDS LIKE ACTUAL HELL omg exam season is so stressful, i hope you don’t feel too much under pressure 😭 i’m happy your art teacher gave you guys extra time for your work, MAKE SURE TO USE YOUR TIME WISELY IM SERIOUSSS you don’t wanna give your worst and face the consequences!! and i’ll even personally pray for you ^^ YOU GOT THIS LOVELYYY and im glad you did well on your others :)

what the fuckkk :(( first off all, that’s such an unfortunate situation to be put in, your classmates are immature as hell for that but i wouldn’t believe that they were laughing at you, perhaps it was just the awkwardness but i’m sure it wasn’t meant to belittle you, still, that’s mean and immature as hell. your supposed friends need to learn how to respect you because if you told them that you didn’t want your slides changed, there really shouldn’t be an issue with that like wtf why would she insult you as a response.. weird. i personally don’t think you’re in the wrong, clearly friend R thought they could boss you guys around and was seeking issues for no reason, all that WHILE being mad for some reason like no need to raise your voice. i hope you’re okay :( don’t think about it too much you’re amazing and i’m sure you’re slide was fine ^^ i have used canva before too and it’s not like you can make the most outstanding slides on there anyways so WHO CARESSSS

whenever i see your asks i just smile because your words are always so sincere and it’s the fact that you go out of your way to type it all even if english isn’t technically your first language, NO STROKES DONT WORRY! i would feel shitty if i didn’t respond to you, i would always respond don’t worry ^^ this was long but i don’t mind, again it’s really cute YOURE SO CUTE ANON

[2-curious-cups]

29th of October, 2023

Hey av,

I’ll just start calling you like that since you „signed“ your last text here like that. I wondered already for a longer time if you actually want me to call you with a nick name, but somehow im uneasy with applying nicknames when i hear them from friends (like ale from zoi) bc then I always feel like im stealing something, life if it were somehow awkward to use it as well. Now I got an invitation to use it which makes it feel right.

When you sended me this blog the other day I was feeling quite overwhelmed. I couldn’t really tell what I think about it and what it means. So I decided to sit with it until I feel like I’ve made my mind up. Day by day that passed I felt like saying sorry for not being able to respond yet, and day by day I told myself, that this reaction would play into the tennis match that you want to avoid. So I’m not saying sorry. But thank you for that super cool medium!!! I actually love the idea of having somehow an online diary that we share with each other. Where can just narrate on our own, remember on our own, associate on our own, but also can of course respond to each other. I think it’s fun, it’s a new experience, it’s playful and a vivid archiv to look back on you and me and the world. On the other hand, I’m also afraid of what this shared medium that I don’t have with anybody else could create as meaning for our bonding. 

These days feel somehow pale. Uni started again and as always I’m a bit too absorbed by my feelings of not belonging. Not belonging to that sphere of academia but also to that group of people. I’m dreaming again about people from uni letting me now that im stupid and pathetic (the other day it was the german guy stefan, if you remember him lel). Some days like today, I feel the fear very intensely in my body. I’m longing to run away from social interactions, my body and my mind freezes. Yet, generally on most days I feel like I’m better than usual to convince myself of the fact that it’s just a matter of time, until I’ll feel like I’ve arrived here again after the summer pause and that we all know and share feelings like that. 

And then there is the war. As u can imagine the intensity of the discourse about it is also represented in uni. People with palestinian and arabic background position themselves quite openly and clear. Words like genozid are being dropped in combination of german responsibility. It has not been taking much time quantity wise, but If it comes up it’s quite intense. Of course. I feel like we are laking a space where we can together discuss about it as the main topic and not relating to it and then dropping very emotionalized comments. But of course it’s emotionalized how could it not. I’m rambling and I feel lost with my emotions of being overwhelmed and immensely sad, not sad enough and not helping, not knowing if I want to go to a demonstration for the palestinians, how much that would hurt my israelian friends, how much information my opinion is lacking, to what extend we all need to get rid of the dimensions good and bad, right and wrong, how my mind should be able to explain happenings by history but not justifying at the same time (I feel like thats a rethorical figure that is almost impossible: how can you try to understand in what circumstances people think and feel and desire without inherently being a justicifation?). What does it mean for my active behavior to not stand finally with one or the other side, but stand for peace and not answering violence with violence? I feel lost and i feel I’m lacking ability rn to talk about it in a way that gives me comfort. But on the other hand, we all need to sit in discomfort with it. 

The last week I was hosting Mira which was very nice. I started a pole dance class. I love the idea of jumping and flying around the pole, even though I look like a clumsy monkey still. It will eventually get better - looking forward to the day when my body learned the new movements and it actually feels like dancing. The other day Lotti folded her hand into my hand when I left her and I felt very moved by that, I really wonder how that relationship will develop. I need to leave now for uni. And then the weekend is calling and I’ll be occupied by a party here a party there and uni in between. I’m already looking forward to be a bit tipsy and having fun while smoking :p

Kisses, Aline

[totaldramafan-lauri]

It’s hard to believe that.....i-it’s coming up on one year since I met you.....

And.....it hurts to think of how.....at the time, I had thought that....we clicked right away....I-I really believed that I’d found a new, strong bond that would last a long time.....I’d found people that were on the same page as me, that I could talk to, have long conversations with, and simp together with....

In such a short time, I got attached.....I looked up to you guys....You inspired me to keep writing.....More than one of my fics wouldn’t exist without you.....You all helped me....feel....c-confident....in my writing.....so much that I kept doing it.....And I can’t thank you enough, for being the reason that I can go back and read the fics I wrote, that I.....feel.....g-genuinely proud of......

We had so many fun times, simping, trading ideas, rambling about our OCs and OC x Canon ships without being embarrassed.....m-making things together.....even just hanging out.....

To think that I’d be here a year later, by myself again.....

With so much to say, yet....not being able to.....

I felt so comfy around you......I felt accepted.....and that was wrong of me.....

I didn’t know what I was and wasn’t allowed to do, and....I-I really have no excuse for that.....I-I did things that other friend groups let me get away with, and....got too negative.....I-I got too into venting about fandom stuff I didn’t like.....I can’t even be mad that my words were misinterpreted as attacks, cuz I shouldn’t have said them in the first place....I could go on and on about things I should’ve known, or should’ve done, yadda yadda, but.....n-no matter what, it’s all over. It’s done. And.....lessons were learned.

September through the first half of December last year were the most miserable I’d ever been in years. Not only due to the guilt, and emotional trauma, but also.....being scared of myself. Of saying anything.....literally anything that could be negative at all....

But, again, lessons were learned. Misery builds character, and.....And now, I feel like I’m a better person after having gone through that. I know more about what not to do, and I’ve been avoiding it all since then.

Everything’s fine now, but.....

I-it still hurts.....it still feels like a part of me hasn’t moved on.

Cuz.....I know, that the talk I was promised, will probably never happen. I....w-was probably lied to. And that’s fine, cuz you never owed me anything.....I-I’ll never truly know just how hurt you were......I would never try to initiate that kinda thing with you. It’s your choice whether or not to contact me.

I-I just....REALLY wanted to talk.....an actual talk....a calm, rational talk......for us all to explain ourselves.....and for me to give an actual level-headed apology straight to you all. And....e-even if I wasn’t forgiven, at least I would’ve tried to lay out the facts.....That I never wanted to hurt anyone. I wanted to be believed, that’s all.....

What if I’d been given that chance? What if we’d tried to talk things out....? I’ll never know....

I can’t contact the two of you I looked up to the most, and that stings....Knowing I’ll never be able to make nice with you.....but, I hope wherever you are, that good things come your way, because you’re both such nice people and such talented writers.....

To the one who recently gave me kudos: You cannot imagine how happy that made me! Like, seriously! To see that, even if you don’t wanna talk, that you’re still around......and you don’t hate me enough to not let me know that.....Ugh, I was so happy that day....

I-I’m sorry I’m rambling, but.....y’know, that’s nothing new with me...My point is....

Thank you. Thank you all....I-I know we didn’t know each other for that long, but you really made me happy while I was there.....thank you for inspiring me, and thank you for the lessons you taught me. And, while I wish I could talk to you still, the memories we shared and the gifts you gave to me are still enough. I’m so, so, so sorry about everything I did that annoyed you....and I hope your lives are better without me. ^^

[remusslove]

Hii I live ur blurbs I was wondering if u could do one where cg reader and her little mattheo find out that Theo is a little and when reader starts caring for him Mattheo just  jealous thinking she’s replacing him

New little~ little!theo x little!mattheo x cg!reader

“Hey Theo! Look what mommy got me” mattheo said as you both took a seat at breakfast. Luckily there was no one there except for a few ravenclaws on the other side of the room due to it being so early.

“Remember it’s just y/n now mkay?” You said softly to him making Theodore grin. “Sorry mama” he said in a whisper before continuing to play with the hot wheels car you gave him. Mattheo tends to get a bit confused with a y/n and mommy thing but you didn’t mind.

It’s what the other kids thought that made you a bit nervous. The day that mattheo came to your dorm in tears because a boy had heard him call you mommy and made fun of him.

Theodore looked at the two of you with desperation and adoration. Oh how he longed for a caregiver that would help him regress just how you did for mattheo. Especially now since he was slipping.

“You ok theo?” You asked him gently making him want to crawl out of his lonely feeling and cuddle into your lap as you kept reminding him it was all okay.

He nodded blushing softly and returning his gaze to Mattheo who just did a trick shot with the toy car.

You raised an eyebrow at his behavior. You’ve been suspicious of him every since last week, when he would act a bit like Mattheo once he was regressed.

Later that day once mattheo was done for a nap you walked to Theodore’s last period. You asked the teacher did you could borrow him for the rest of the period. The teacher said yes thankfully due to the fact there was only fifteen minutes of class left.

“Do you need something?” He asked you with the same softness he had in his voice this morning. “Are you a little?” You asked him.

His eyes widen at your question before filling up with tears. “Please don’t tell anyone. I didn’t mean for-” he rambled before you cut him off.

“It’s alright darling just wondering, do you have a caregiver?” You reassured him. He looked down at your reply and shook his head.

“Would you like me to be yours?” You asked him no anger laced in your tone at all. Which made him blush and nod. You smiled “good. Mattheos gonna be thrilled when he finds out.”

And he was. For a week.

When you would give Theodore some cuddles he felt a strong urge or jealously rumble in his tummy. But also a urge of worry. He didn’t want you to pick Theodore over him. He wanted you to be his mama forever!

“Love you mama” Theodore mumbled in your neck. Mattheo wasn’t regressed so he fully heard what he said. He looked up to you with wide eyes and betrayal as you just chuckled and pulled him closer to you.

“Love you too” you answered back making the little giggle and close his eyes.

Your reply made him gasp before storming off.

You reassured Theodore everything was fine, not wanting him to become stressed while he was still little.

You stomped into the room mattheo just slammed the door in and walked in without invitation.

“Excuse me little boy. You can’t just go wherever you want, especially with that attitude!” You said sternly crossing your arms.

That’s all it took for mattheo to start sobbing immediately. You cooed guiltily picking up the crying boy and rocking him.

You rocked him until his sobs gently stopped.“I’m so sorry for yelling at you baby, mommy didn’t mean it m’swear” you apologized wiping his tears away.

“You don’t wub me anymowe, only Theo” he mumbled moving closer to you yearning for your comfort even though your the one that’s causing his distress.

“Of course I love you bubba! How could I not with your chubby little cheeks?” You said before attacking him with kisses. He giggled trying to squirm away from your lips. “Promise?” “Promise.”

[lucillele]

𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 | 𝟐

Shuri x Black!fem!reader

Summary: Going to a party with your “friends” seemed like it going in the wrong turn but luckily you met someone special.

Warning: angst, insecurities/anxiety, fake friends, long paragraph at the end, cursing, possibly ooc shuri idk

A/N: Si La Quieres was playing when I was writing this and I was like aww then I got to the angst. Also, I actually proofread it this time which means I am never not proofreading and posting stuff again. Good news is I actually enjoyed writing and reading it. Credit to @vargskelegore for the hbcu shuri idea

It had been about a week since you and Shuri met at that party. You still cringed at the thought of the things that you said from the car to the way through the dorms but Shuri assured you it was fine and actually quite funny to experience. She had definitely made life more enjoyable while you went through the emotionally tiring transition of weeding out those “friends” out of your life.

She had even gotten you out of your comfort zone a bit. This bond between you two had brought up questions but luckily you were used to ignoring the things you didn’t want to hear. It was quite amusing when you did listen though. It did bring out a feeling of jealousy you didn’t know you had. The relationship didn’t start off with pure platonic feelings or attraction on your part but you thought it would eventually fade out as you got closer. Oh were you wrong.

Shuri had been calling you for a few seconds now but you were too focused on getting this paper done at the last minute. She had resorted to leaning forward out of her chair and flicking a finger under your chin to get your attention causing you to furrow your brows in confusion. It wasn’t unusual for her to touch you in some way as she had gotten more comfortable and started always having her hands on you in some way which did not help your feelings at all. “You didn’t hear the previous 5 times I was calling you?” She said, laughing a bit. You thought about it before facepalming. “I’m so sorry. I waited until the last minute to do this paper and..” you stopped to hopefully not reveal anything.

“And? You usually pass these classes without even trying. What’s really wrong?” She said, looking at you attentively. The fact that she had noticed these things prior to your meeting had made your breath hitch a bit.

“I guess I’m just tired between this and the girls.” You said, hoping she would buy it especially since it was technically the truth just not all of it. She nodded, giving you a sympathetic smile before grabbing your computer. She clicked the touchpad a few times, probably making sure whatever you wrote was saved, and then closed your laptop. You just sat there watching her get up from the chair beside your bed and walk to the door until she turned around and looked at you like you were crazy. “Come on! We’re going to take a break.” You hesitantly got up and walked to the door which she held out for you. “Where are we going?” You asked. “It’s a surprise.” Shuri said with a smile that made you almost forget about all of your problems.

The “break” had ended up being longer than you expected with Shuri claiming she wanted to give everything a chance. You were grateful though, she was able to get your mind off of everything and became a good person to confide in considering she had heard the worst of it when you first met. Now she had you rambling, most likely off of the pure sugar you were running off of at the moment, about anything that came to mind. “I was so damn focused on pleasing them that I neglected everything. I haven’t even done anything besides attend classes. That is not what I came here for.” You said, the last part making Shuri’s eyebrows furrow.

You let out a few giggles before trying to explain yourself. “I mean that’s like 50% of what I came here for but you know college is supposed to be fun. You’re supposed to be able to grow here and I’ve been doing the opposite.” You said before stuffing your mouth with ice cream.

As you talked, Shuri nodded and smiled taking in everything before responding. “On a good note, you can afford to focus on something other than classes. On another good note, you have me.” She said giving you that same smile that made everything else not matter.

You looked at her for a second smiling before averting your eyes to try to make yourself not obvious. Despite your feelings for her developing minute after minute when you were around her or thinking about her, you were getting more comfortable with being close to her. Your first instinct was to avoid possible rejection and avoid her but this was different. “I have one question. How long it’s going to take for you to forget about you know what?” You said, leaning forward a bit to whisper the last part.

“I hope never.” She said, smiling from across the table. “No! I was probably weird! Why would you want to remember that?”

“It was the most interesting thing that happened that day.” She said. “You are pretty weird though. I like it.” You stared at her for a minute with a sort of “done” look making her bust out laughing. “See and now I get to see things like that.” She said in between laughs. “Are you happy?” You said in a deadpan tone but trying not to smile. “Yes, very much.” She said with a wide smile.

Two weeks went by with you and Shuri hanging out randomly and you had become pretty good friends by now. You’d started to get more comfortable around her but that only made your feelings harder to hide. It had become a whole thing between ‘Should I tell her?’ and ‘No! I’ve only known her for almost a month now.’ And you thought it was hard to hide it two weeks ago.

You and Shuri were now in her dorm room “studying.” You both had abandoned everything early on in the session, deciding to watch tv instead which had become routine by now. Sure, it wasn’t helping your workload but you had learned not to care about anything else around Shuri which became something she lightly scolded you about.

You were both snuggled under the fluffy blanket you came wrapped in when you knocked on her door to pull an all nighter. Shuri just laughed at you and let you in, saying you would be the first one to fall asleep and wouldn’t last even half the night. You were determined to prove her wrong and spend more time with her but she didn’t need to know that last part.

It wasn’t looking good for you about 2 hours in as all the little comments and context you were giving Shuri had ceased. She noticed this of course along with how your head gravitated to leaning back onto her shoulder but you kept trying to keep yourself awake and your head straight. She smiled and said nothing about it for a while even when your head actually fell onto her for a few seconds. However, you quickly woke up and sat up. “Are you sleepy?” Shuri said in a teasing tone, looking down at you.

“No.” You mumbled and heard her laugh at how you were being as stubborn as a child. “It’s ok if you are.” She said, giving you a soft look. If only you would look back at her and see how she was looking at you right now. Then, there would be no doubt in your mind about how she felt about you but you kept your eyes on the TV, too distracted with trying to prove you were awake. “No.” You repeated even as your eyes were shutting on their own. Shuri cupped your cheek and guided your head towards her shoulder. You immediately gave in and cuddled closer to her causing Shuri to tense up a bit before relaxing again, but you were too asleep to notice that and how her heart was suddenly beating faster.

You woke up with a gentle light shining in the room. You sat up and stretched before realizing that it wasn’t your room or your bed and you were alone. You turned to find the source of the light snores you heard and found Shuri slightly cuddled up to you. Your first instinct was to run to the bathroom and freak out there but not wanting to wake her up, you tried to freak out in your head instead.

Of course, the first explanation you thought off wasn’t the most positive because of past *experiences* but eventually you figured out what happened which at least helped you feel better. Sort of. That combined with her being beside you didn’t help your shocked state right now. You had taken a few peeks at Shuri, the seemingly peaceful state she was in making you calm as well. You had taken too many peeks though, causing you to be blessed with her beautiful morning voice. “How do I look?” She asked before opening her eyes and smiling at you.

Your eyes widened a bit before you got the courage to respond. “You’ve gotten a little bit of slobber right here. Oh, and lines all over your face.” You said, turning to her and using your elbow you prop yourself up. She was actually convinced for a bit until she saw your mischievous smile. “You think you’re funny?” She said, giving you a look that would’ve melted you if you weren’t feeling so bold right now. “I do, yes.” Shuri shook her head smiling at you before checking the time, making her smile disappear. “Shit!” she said, jumping out of bed.

“What’s wrong?” You said, sitting up. She stopped for a second and turned around to look at you. “Nothing! I just have to take care of something.” She said, walking to the bathroom. You started to get up and gather your things when Shuri walked out of the bathroom out of her pajamas and in a new tracksuit. You couldn’t help but do a double take and tried to cover it up with pretending that you were looking for something. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.” She said smiling at you as she hurried and got everything he needed.

You gave her a small nod and smiled at her. There was a bit of silence for a moment so you resorted to cleaning up to be a good “guest” when you felt Shuri come closer to you. “Make sure to eat something okay? And actually study.” She said in a caring tone, taking your hand in hers. She’d started doing gestures like these more often since you’d opened up to her more. While your jokes and quirks were funny, she worried about your wellbeing when you had way too much on your mind.

“No promises.” You said only to be met with silence and a look from Shuri as she had her hand on the doorknob. “Kidding.” You said sheepishly and watched as she left, the eye contact making your ears burn.

You took up on her offer to stay for a little bit and took in every detail of her dorm. It was much better decorated then yours for sure. While your room still felt like a dorm room, Shuri’s felt like an actual home. There were beautiful art pieces to fill the dull walls and big desk with a whole set up and other things you would be sure to ask about later. Not to mention how big and comfortable her bed was and how it was making it hard for you to leave. Or maybe it was the smell or the way you both had been in it just a few minutes ago.

You forced yourself to get up and get ready at your own dorm to be productive today. Shuri was right, most of your classes were easy to pass but you had fallen behind because of some distractions but with no classes today and some free time hopefully you could catch up on what you neglected. You walked to the library, sighing contently when you reached the exact spot your life changed in a few weeks ago.

Your study session went pretty well and you were almost done with everything. Of course, you couldn’t just have a peaceful work session and just had to be interrupted. “Oh, there she is.” You heard a familiar voice saying, making you look up to see Jada, one of your “friends.” “Hey girl, I haven’t seen you in a while.” She said in a fake nice tone, pulling out the chair in front of you.

“Hi Jada.” You said, shutting your laptop and giving her a small smile. “You’ve been busy I see.” She said. “Oh, no I’m just catching up on classes.” You said, trying your best to not seem annoyed. “No, girl, I mean with you and Shuri.” She said, leaning closer to you and whispering.

“What do you mean?” You asked. “What do you mean what do I mean? Aliyah saw you coming out of her room. You two have been sneaking around for weeks.” She said, like it was the latest celebrity gossip. You just watched as she pulled up multiple pictures of you and Shuri on campus laughing and smiling.

“We’re friends.” You said for like the nineteenth time or at least that’s what it felt like. You had started packing your things and getting ready to walk away from this situation. “Friends my ass.” She said, clearly having a laugh out of this. “I’m serious.” You said, stopping yourself from rolling your eyes. “Well if you guys aren’t dating, I know some who would date her.” She said, causing you to practically snap your neck to look at her. “Well, if I date her, you two are gonna need to set some boundaries.” She said, leaning back into the chair she was sitting in and smiling.

That was the last straw for you. You dropped your backpack up on the table and got up quickly causing the chair to screech on the floor and making other people look. “Okay. I’m going to leave now to stop myself from saying what I really want to say. Leave me and Shuri alone.” You said, unintentionally making the last part louder which you’re sure everyone heard.

You walked off as quickly as you could. You heard a chair screech like yours did before and Jada yelling at you. “Fine! I don’t want to deal with your uppity ass anyway!” You just continued to walk out of the library despite your sporadic heartbeat and desperate need for air. At some point, you ended up running all the way to your dorm and ended up staying there the rest of the day.

You had never told Shuri what happened and since it somehow never made its way to her, so you decided to act like nothing happened. Yeah she could tell something was wrong but she could tell you didn’t want to talk about it so she left it alone in hopes that you would come to talk to her out of your own will. You wanted to so badly but you saw how busy she was and how she still made time for you and thought ‘I can’t add another thing to her plate.’

Your relationship had developed even more now that it had been around a month and a half since you two had met. Everything was great but you felt your feelings for her and insecurities about what other people thought eating up at you and your happiness. Still, you pushed it down and tried to enjoy the moments you had with her.

Now you were getting ready to go to a football game with Shuri. You two had randomly come up with the idea on another one of your“study sessions”, planning to go out to eat after and end the night with a movie. The whole thing sounded like a date which pretty much describes a lot of the things you and Shuri did lately.

“I’m serious. Is this too much or not?” You said, observing yourself in the mirror. You were wearing a black skirt with a black oversized graphic tee tucked in and long boots that would shorten the gap between you and Shuri. Not to mention a headband holding back your hair from your face and medium sized hoops. “Honey, if you change your outfit one time I will slap you and I will not apologize this time.” Your roommate and best friend, Ari said, giving your face a little pat and falling back onto her bed. She had slapped you to snap you out a whole freakout about a similar thing about a week ago but immediately felt bad about it and apologized.

“I’m just trying to make sure it’s not too much or too little or both.” You said, fluffing your hair out a bit more. “I think you’re fine. I still can’t believe you met her while you were drunk. I told you not to go especially with those b-” “Ari.” “Whatever you want to call them. I just wanted to see my folks for one weekend and you get a whole ass girlfriend.” She said, getting up to help you with your hair. “She’s not my girlfriend.” You said, rolling your eyes. She just raised her eyebrows at you. “You’re so cute.” She said before patting your head and walking into the bathroom.

You were going to add to the conversation until you heard a knock. “Y/N, you ready!” You heard Shuri’s voice say. “So when are you going to tell her you love her?” Ari said casually leaning against the door frame with her toothbrush in her mouth. Your eyes widened and you threw a pillow at her. “Shut up!” You whispered, grabbing your purse and opening the door. “Hi.” You said, smiling at Shuri and closing the door behind you.

“Hey. You look amazing.” Shuri said, grabbing your hand. “Thank you.” You said, trying to seem casual when you felt a vibration in your pocket. You grabbed your phone and saw a text from Ari with a hand, ring, and kissing emoji, making you quickly shove your phone back into your pocket. “You’re acting weird tonight.” Shuri said, chuckling. You acted offended and walked off knowing that she would chase after you. Predictably, she grabbed your hand and pulled you back, seeing your smile. “Nevermind. This is normal for you.” She said, walking off and leaving you to chase after her now.

The game was exactly what you needed. It was the moment where you could just let go after all of the feelings and thoughts you had pent up. Shuri had made you go crazy multiple times during the whole thing but you weren’t complaining. This was one of the times you weren’t worried about what people thought and it was like a breath of fresh air.

The restaurant you guys had chosen was packed but luckily you were able to get in early enough. It seemed like someone in the universe was out for you because your three favorite girls Jada, Aliyah, and Elle were about two tables away. You had noticed earlier and just tried to ignore it which was pretty easy with Shuri in front of you. Halfway through your conversation, one of the players Miles came up to you. He was asking simple questions at first and introduced himself until he started to get outright bold. You could tell Shuri was pissed off. “It’s been nice talking to you but we have somewhere to be.” Shuri said, standing up. “Come on, let's go, love.” Love? That was new. She intertwined her fingers with yours and lightly dragged you out. You followed her turning to give a small wave to Miles and seeing your ex-friends smile knowingly.

You took your hand out of Shuri making her turn back to look at you worriedly. “The hell was that?” You said, pointing back to the restaurant. “He was flirting with you. What do you mean?” She said, walking closer to you. “I don’t care about him. It wasn’t a big deal and you escalated it.” You said, crossing your arms. “He needed to leave you alone.” She said as if it was a fact. “You confuse me, you know that?” You said, staring at the floor. “You do all these things and it doesn’t feel like we’re friends but we’re friends. That’s it.” You said. “Everyone is sure of what we are but me.” You continued, making Shuri realize what this was about. You couldn’t even control what came out, at this point it was a mix of insecurities and uncertainty. You felt bad about how it all seemed projected at Shuri but still you wanted an answer about what you two were. She cared for you a lot but was it out of pity or love? You felt so stupid so you avoided her eyes and backed up when she walked closer to you, trying to console you. No. She was supposed to get mad at you and leave. She wasn’t supposed to care for you even when you took everything out on her. “I..I need to get home. I promised Ari I would help her study.” You said, still looking at the ground. You walked away despite the urge to stop when she called your name. ‘This was not how this was supposed to go’ You thought.

[tonberry-yoda]

Omg how didn’t I see those??? Gonna binge them right away 🤩

So sorry for not seeing those! 😭😭

Ok hereby i request a Full fluff alphabet for sweet Toge 💜

I’ll wait until you finish everything until further requests haha

Aww your writing makes MY day my dear!! 🌻

Srsly I’ve been having a hard time lately because I fell I’ll and I’m still recovering and reading your sweet stories gets me through my boring days

i made those two alphabets towards the beginning of me writing on tumblr here, so i really hope you enjoyed those if you ended up reading them! and i love that you said you'd wait for everything else to be done for this request, but here i am doing it lmaoooo. these are actually easy for me, even if time consuming! so i really hope you enjoy!! love you 🌻anon and im really glad i can help you through a hard time that means a lot and you are such a sweetheart, thank you for all of the support.

now let's stop rambling and get onto the alphabet!

Fluff Alphabet with Toge

Pairing - Toge x reader

Warnings - none!

Notes - (post inspired by this) thank you love! i had a lot of fun doing this and toge is such a cutie! thank for the request and please enjoy! i hope you have a good day today and stay hydrated!!!

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

just spending time outside is a must

whether it be enjoying the afternoon air or the stars above, you two always find yourselves outside when spending time together

picnics are your thing for sure

you make a super cute picnic with cake and drinks and just a ton of snacks and then you and him walk over to somewhere cute and eat together in silence

just because he's quiet though doesnt mean hanging out is awkward

its actually nice

peaceful

especially in the winter time

you still go outside and do stuff like watch the snow, but you're in each other's arms while doing so

what a cutie omg

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

he loves your voice

the fact that he cant really use his makes him love yours more

he's a fantastic listener and overall just loves hearing you talk

could listen to you all day if you were willing to talk for that long

he thinks everything about you is beautiful, but again, he just cant get over your voice

especially if your a singer, you would kill that poor man

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

he would just listen

he's not a panicky guy, so if you're in the middle of something like a panic attack, he brings you what you need calmly and then just sit next to you, ready to hear what you have going on

and if you need space, he'll give it to you

cuddles? heck yeah, bring it in

he just wants to be there for you, he would never leave you when you're sad or down in anyway

would rub your back always

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

he cant see a life without you

whether it be marriage or just there to support you, toge wants you in his life forever

he knows your strong, so he always sees the two of you becoming professional sorcerers

but overall, he just cannot think to live without you

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

let's be honest here, since you're the one doing all the talking, you're definitely the dominant one

you literally have to order food for this man

you work really hard to do your best as a sorcerer and toge literally hold you up like you are a god/goddess/deity

he prefers you being dominant because he gets all nervous in situations without you lol

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

he doesnt like to fight with you, so he will try to avoid that at all costs

but in the situation that you two end up fighting, you just go silent around each other

you let your thoughts simmer before you actually end up communicating

it ends up being an easily forgiven situation and you just end up laughing it off later

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

this man is so grateful to have you in his life

he would do anything for you and knows that you would do the same for him

you two are like two halves of a whole and without each other, the world would honestly be empty

he is more grateful to you than anyone else (which says a lot because he holds his friends pretty highly)

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

its hard to share everything when you cant really talk lol

there's a lot about himself that you dont know

you dont really know about his family or how he grew up, but that's because you never asked

he doesnt share everything, but he's not trying to intentionally hide anything from you

he respects and loves communication in a relationship, but that's hard when you dont really have a voice to speak it

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

i feel like you both really didnt change

you fell in love with who he was and it was the same for him

nothing about either of you really changed

he's still more reserved, even if you try to get him out of his shell

i feel like the real change or lesson you would learn is how to work better together

whether that be in real fighting situations, arguments with each other, or even just class work

you're just finding better ways to work together

so personal problems are just another bump for you to try to get over together

it leaves you on your toes, so it's actually quite fun sometimes

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

I feel like he doesnt have a huge jealousy problem

EXCEPT

when you are talking to a guy and your adorable laugh slips out

your voice is reserved for toge and toge only lol

hearing that gorgeous little laugh or hearing you sing for others just sparks a new feeling in his chest that he doesnt like

to deal with it, he just rushes over to you and stands as close as possible so he can hear it first hand while looking the other person dead in the eye

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

OMG YES

this man has the cutest smallest softest lips ever

its like kissing a soft little cloud or a stuffed animal or something

and he slides his hand behind your ear, moving you hair out of the way

*dies*

it would always be one little kiss and then he'd just press more and more onto your lips

you know the little kiss sesh is over when he places a big kiss on your cheek and smiles at you

the first kiss happened so suddenly

y'all were just hangin out, watchin the moon, and he pressed a kiss onto your cheek, which then became your lips, and then you ended up kissing for a few minutes under the stars

wish that was me omg

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

HE WOULD WRITE YOU A LITTLE NOTE

y'all were just studying in the library when he slipped over a note that said:

will you go out with me? :)

how could you say no?

you two ended up passing notes the whole time instead of studying lol

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

as long as that means he can be in your life forever, then yes

he would pass you a note again just cuz it's so flippin cute

he would pass you the note and then the box

then you'd throw your arms around him crying and he'd let a few tears fall himself

the wedding would be super small

maybe you would just get eloped, idk

it would be a very quiet wedding too

you would just hand each other your vows and read them with misty eyes before you two kiss

i think he would say "i do" in order to really keep you guys married

omg that would be so cute

would shock everyone there lol

even you

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

at first you didnt think he called you any nicknames since he cant talk

but then you noticed him saying sushi a lot around you which was a new one

so you just assume that he calls you sushi lol

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

GOO GOO EYES

he cant help but stare at you

with loving eyes ofc

he always passes you little notes telling you how much he loves you

he cant help it

its actually only obvious to you

a lot of people dont know since he's so to himself

you, on the other hand, can notice it from a mile away lol

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

HECC NO

its not that he doesnt love you

he would just prefer it if... you didnt touch him in front of a bunch of people lol

he'll gladly hold your hand, but he wont like cuddle you or makeout with you in front of a bunch of people

he just gets too flustered

what a cutie

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

GREAT KISSER

and really good and comforting you

and just like really good at being there

also great cuddles lol

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

i feel like he would do anything to make you happy, but he's not the super romantic type

like no flowers or romantic dinners

just outdoor dates with the moon and stars chillin with ya

just being close to you is enough for the both of you

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

oh absolutely

he is your #1 supporter

you guys support each other and that is super important to the both of you

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

he doesnt need anything but you with a smile on your face to make the relationship work

he doesnt need a thrill

so in that sense, you are very more routine

you are free together in the relationship, so you dont need to see each other 24/7, but having you there makes him happy

just seeing you once or more in a day is good enough for him

but when you start living together and are a part of each other, you two just do your own thing, but with the other right by your side

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

he knows you super well

he knows what you need when you're sad and knows what you need when you're happy

if you're in a position where you just dont want to talk to or see anyone, he will leave you be, he is super empathetic of your feelings

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

this relationship is super important to him

even if he doesnt see you 24/7, just having you in his life means the world to him

this relationship is worth a lot and he never wants it to end

he really thinks he has found the one in you and wouldnt want to give that up for anything

you support him and he does the same, so without that, he would feel empty somewhere in his soul

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

every night before bed, the two of you cuddle up and watch a movie and then just end up falling asleep together

he just loves sleeping in a bed with you

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

YES

but not in front of people ofc

he just loves you hug and hold you while no one else is there

i think he would be really cold, so he would warm himself by your warmth under the blanket while laying little kisses all over your face before falling asleep

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

he would feel like something is missing

he gets in a really sad spot and kind of just... waits for you to get back

expect a lot of loving texts from him

he'll just curl up and watch a movie, wishing you were next to him :(

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

oh absolutely

man would take a bullet for you

he cares about you so much he will do anything, but only if you think the same way about him

he will fight for you and with you

he couldnt imagine a life without you

[anxioussweasley]

Christmas Is Our Season|| J.P

James Potter x Reader

Summary: You’re n love with James. He’s in love with Lily. The whole friend group is confused about their feelings. And December is quickly becoming everyone’s least favorite month. Lightly based on heather by Conan Grey, that one scene from Friends, and incredibly self indulgent. Featuring: (slight) Jily and very heavily insinuates Wolfstar 😊

Warnings: cursing, angst, hurt comfort? jealousy, brief mentions of abuse, pinning, James being an oblivious idiot.

Word count: 11.4k (I got carried away 😩😭)

A/n: PLEASE READ!!!! omg this took forever. I am so sorry this is late but I figured I would wait and let this be my Christmas gift to all of you! Hope you enjoy! Also so much of this is unnecessary but I wanted to do it all!!!!!!!

Lily evens was a good person. She was your best friend. She was kind and smart and beautiful. It wasn’t her fault. Of course he loved her. Lily Evans was a good person, she wasn’t trying to hurt you. That’s what you had to keep repeating to yourself. Because it was hard not to be angry with her. You were in love with James and he was in love with her and she didn’t even care. So here you were suffering through slughorns double potions sitting next to your best friend and trying not to hate her.

“Hey, are you okay? You look unwell, do you want me to ask the professor to excuse you?”

Scratch that it was impossible to hate her.

“I’m okay Lil’s. Just kind of knackered.” You gave her a small smile and the girl sent back a small nod before turning back to her notes.

It use to be easy to ignore the fact that the guy you like was in love with your best friend. But that was back when Lily wouldn’t even give James the time of day. Now the whole group had become friends and even though James had dialed back on asking her out incessantly, he still made his affection obvious.

“Hey!” The quiet voice came from behind lily and you already knew exactly who it was. “Hey, Lily.”

The redhead glanced at you rolling her eyes playfully before turning around to look at James. “What, Potter?”

“Me and the guys were going to Hogsmeade later. Do you want to come?” Lily let out a small chuckle.

Scratch that you kinda wished she were dead.

“And why should I go anywhere with you, Potter?”

“Because it will be fun, c’mon Sirius and Remus are coming.” James tries to convince. “Y/n are you coming?” he added, glancing toward you. Lily just replied with a short we’ll think about it before turning back to Slughorns lecture.

Peter, who was sitting behind you, let out a small laugh at James' disappointment.

“Oh, shove off Wormtail,” James mumbled.

Classes dragged on with lily contemplating James' offer. You wanted to go, after all, you were invited, and you loved hanging out with the boys. But lily was new to the group and she figured James was just trying to get a date out of her. It was now your final class of the day and one of the few you had without Lily, so here you were sat next to Remus lupin listening to the professor drag on and on.

“So James said he invited you and lily to Hogsmede,” Remus whispered as the professor started on another irrelevant tangent.

“I don’t know if invited is the word I would use. I know he only asked me because he thought that lily would come if I did.”

Remus sighed. “Y’know that’s not true.”

“It is. I'm trying not to let it get to me.”

Remus took in a deep breath. He was smart enough to know the truth.“Y/n what happens if Lily ever says yes to him.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“C’mon Y/n. It’s me. That might work with Padfoot or Wormtail or Lily but I know everything.”

Of course, he knew, you weren’t exactly subtle. “I know. I don’t know what to do. She’s my best friend and I can’t blame her, especially since she doesn’t know I have feelings for him. And he-” You and Remus's attention snapped to the front as the professor coughed before he continued to ramble on. “Well, he’s James. I don’t know what I was thinking falling for him. He’s been in love with Lily since first year… Sometimes I hate him.”

“If it makes you feel better, I know what it’s like.”

You looked at him confused. “Moony, what do you mean?”

“I know what it’s like to love someone you can never have.” Remus fiddled with his hands, turning the thin leather bracelet on his wrist. A bracelet you recognized Sirius gave him. “And I know what it's like to hate them too.” You gave him a sympathetic smile. He smiled back. Remus really was your other best friend. The only person you could talk to about your feelings for James.

You and Remus shared a quiet laugh before you rested your head on his shoulder.

“We are quite the pair Mr. Moony.” You joked.

“Yes; It seems in misery we are equally matched.” Remus humorously replied with a small smirk on his face.

“So are you going to Hogsmeade with us?”

“I’ll have to check in with Lily but I want to.”

“Even if she doesn't, you should. We don’t hang out enough anymore.”

“I will.” You smiled in reply.

“Come on, Lily, it will be fun. You would like the boys if you got to know them. You like Remus do you really think he would be friends with bad people?”

“I don’t know what I think.”

“Well, I think you're confusing James for someone else.”

“Don’t bring up Sev.”

“You're still calling him Sev? Lily when are you going to get it through your head that he doesn’t care about you! His obsession with you isn't okay, not to mention what he did to that poor girl. What do you think he made that spell up for.”

“Okay, Y/n! I get it, Sev- Snape isn’t who I thought he was. But for merlin's sake y/n, you think I don’t know that? He called me a mudblood. I know I haven’t been fair to James, I just don’t understand why you care.”

You froze. You couldn’t tell her the truth; not like it mattered anyway. “Because they are my friends and you are my friend and I just wish you could get along.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll go.” Lily smiled.

It took all of three seconds for y/n to realize she likely just broke her own heart. One for James and Lily to make eye contact. One for the brightest smile you’ve ever seen to pass over James' face. One for Lily to smile back.

You sucked in a breath. Remus gave you a sympathetic look. James didn’t even greet you as he addressed Lily. Remus grabbed your hand and pulled you over to the entrance of the secret passage. Sirius stood there, glancing down at your intertwined hands before furrowing his brows.

“I think I made a mistake.” You whispered to Remus.

“It’s going to be okay.” He whispered back.

“What are you two on about,” Sirius mumbled. His eyebrows still furrowed as he looked between the two of you.

Remus squeezed your hand. “It’s nothing,” he answered.

“Whatever.” Sirius scoffed, crossing his arms and turning his head away from you. “Prongs! Are you coming or what?” Sirius shouted at the bespectacled boy.

“Shove off Pads,” James laughed before walking over to the entrance and stretching out his arm. “Ladies first.” He said to Lily, then noticed your presence glancing at you. Lily looked weary of the passage but you had done this before.

“It’s fine Lil’s. I’ll go first if you want?” The girl flashed her brilliant smile at you before giving a small nod.

It didn’t take long for the group to make it to honeydukes and it certainly didn’t take long for Remus to head over to the chocolate section making the whole group laugh. Lily kept close to you as the group split up in different directions to shop around the candy store. To no surprise, Remus joined you carrying a large bag of chocolate. Sirius followed him, shoving his wallet back into his pocket. You and Lily shared a knowing look. The both of you could see Remus's light blush.

Lily started up a conversation with the two leaving you to finish your shopping. You made your way to the back of the store, reaching up to grab a pack of sugar quills off the top shelf; your hand only an inch away before someone reaches up behind you and pulls them off the shelf. You whirl around to be met with James who hands you the package with a smug smile. “Careful love, don’t hurt yourself.” He chuckled.

You narrowed your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that broke across your face. “I am perfectly capable of getting my own sugar quills.”

“I know. Just wanted to be polite. I’m glad you came with us. It feels like it’s been forever since we hung out.”

You scoffed, trying to play it off as playfully. “Please, Potter. We both know you only asked me so Lily would come.”

“That’s not true.” James sounded a little offended which regrettably made you a little hopeful. “Y/n I’m serious.”

“No you're not; Sirius is over there.” You point with a nervous giggle.

James sighed. “I’m not joking y/n. I honestly thought you were avoiding us. Is it because of what happened with Snape because-“

“No James it’s not that. I mean what you did wasn’t okay, but it wasn’t unprovoked. I promise I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“I guess- I thought once Lily became friends with us we would hang out more, but it’s like you just disappeared.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I just,” he took a deep breath before giving you a small smile, “I’m glad you're here.”

Merlin, you loved him.

“Me too.” But something across the shop had caught James' attention. You followed his eyes to find Lily walking through the store with the two other boys. You looked back to James, something in you cracking as he watched her. He was in awe.

Merlin, you wanted to die.

After the group left honeydukes you made your way over to the three broomsticks for a butterbeer.

Hogsmeade was beautiful this time of year. Christmas decorations lined the streets, garland, and lights, and carolers, and snowmen wearing festive scarfs. The wind was blowing gently and snow fell softly all around you. It was beautiful but cold and you were shivering from it. The only one in the group that forgot to wear a heavy coat.

“Jeez, Y/n/n your teeth are going to fall out from all that chattering they are doing.” Sirius laughed as you shiver from the cold. Remus shot him a glare and moved to pull his coat from his shoulders, but his efforts were interrupted when James reached into his bag and pulled out a large sweater; throwing it over your head.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure our dear friend here doesn’t lose her teeth.” James announced.

The group kept moving forward as you paused to pull the sweater over your head. Hoping the heat in your cheeks wasn’t obvious. Although at this point it would be easy to blame the blush on the weather. James stood with you as your group carried on.

“Thank you.” You said as you finally pulled the garment into place.

James couldn’t help letting his eyes look you up and down. “No problem, love. I’m glad I brought an extra. Besides, it looks better on you anyway.” James mumbled the last bit and, luckily for you, turned away before you could react. You trailed behind him as he trekked to the three broomsticks. Only if he knew. Godric you wanted to tell him. You could stop him right here and confess. None of your friends would be there to witness it. No one would witness your humiliation when he ultimately told you he was in love with Lily. No one would ever-

“Do you think- that Lily really doesn’t like me?”

The question interrupted your train of thought and caught you completely off guard. “I- um, I- I don’t know.”

James didn’t look convinced. In fact, he deflated a little. “I know I’m annoying when it comes to her but I don’t know what else to do. I just get so nervous. I can’t think straight when she’s around I’m so worried about what she thinks. Sometimes I’m so nervous I feel sick. Y’know what I mean?”

You thought about it for a second. It was easy to immediately agree, but the truth is you didn’t feel that way. James had never made you that nervous. Yes, he gave you butterfly’s but he never made you so nervous you felt sick. “Not really, James. Honestly, I don’t think people you care about are supposed to make you feel that way.”

James was taken aback by your answer but he didn’t argue. He only mumbled out an “oh” before opening the door to the three broomsticks and gesturing for you to enter first.

Remus, Sirius, and Lily had all made themselves comfortable at a Large table. There were two empty chairs. One next to Remus, and one next to Lily. James sat next to Lily.

“Took you two long enough,” Sirius commented.

“Shove off,” you retorted.

“We already ordered drinks for everyone,” Lily smiled.

It didn’t take long for Lily to become completely at ease in the group. She had been friends with Remus for years and had been growing closer to Sirius and James for months. The group quickly fell into easy conversation.

James, whose natural defense to anxiety was massive overcompensation, had turned his flirting dial up to 11. He complimented her left and right, wiggling his eyebrows as he teased her.

It was painful to watch. And the more James flirted the closer you drifted toward Remus. He eventually threw his arm over your shoulder resting it on the back of your chair. He knew this had to be hard for you, and he was willing to comfort you any way he could. This however would lead to a whole new set of problems as both Sirius and James noticed. Sirius stared daggers into the side of your head when you weren’t looking.

James got up from the table, going to order more butterbeer for everyone. Lily smiled after him causing your heart to sink. “Wow, Subtlety is not his specialty is it.” She giggled.

“He’s nervous,” you replied, your voice was a little harsh despite your effort to keep a light tone. Your eyes drifted over to James. Lily stared at you.

“Right,” she mumbled, “I’m gonna go help him carry drinks.” She stood from the table and met James at the bar.

“I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick,” Remus announced, standing from the table and disappearing.

“What’s going on with you and Remus?” Sirius questioned suddenly.

You looked gobsmacked. “Nothing.”

“Don’t pull that shit with me Y/n. I saw you holding hands back at the castle, and all the whispering, and now he’s got his arm around you. So I’ll ask again: what the hell is going on with you and Moony?” Sirius’ voice was accusing. His glare could bring giants to their knees. You understood now why most people were afraid of him.

“Sirius, nothing is going on with me and Remus.” You stated quickly.

“I’m not an idiot Y/n.” Sirius was seething. “Are you two dating? Because if you're trying to keep it a secret, you're not very subtle.”

“What? Seriously, Padfoot, I’m not dating Remus! He’s my best friend. We are allowed to interact!”

“Then what the hell is going on with you? You’ve both been acting dodgy, and I don’t know what's going on-“

A loud laugh pulled both of your attention over to the bar. James had a huge smile on his face as Lily laughed. His arm was thrown over her shoulder. Nothing could stop the cold feeling from seeping into your bones. Lily laughed again, shoving James away from her playfully. She put on a playful glare, and James pouted teasingly.

Nothing was fair.

Sirius saw your face drop as you took in the scene, he saw the longing look in your eye, he noticed the pain on your face. “Oh,” he realized. Pulling your attention back to him.

“Oh, no. Y/n you can’t like-“

“I can’t like him. I know.”

There was a pause.

“But I do. And I know he’s never going to feel the same.” You sighed. “That’s why Remus and I have been so close lately. He’s the only one I can talk to about it.”

“I’m sorry about before. I guess, I um…” Sirius trailed off. Looking guilty but more so embarrassed.

“You were jealous. It’s okay. I know how you feel.” You looked back at James, who was now picking up drinks with the help of Lily to bring back to the table. Sirius followed your stare.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner. You look at him the way I look at Remus,” Sirius let out quickly as James and Lily approached the table.

“Where did Moony run off to?” James said as he noticed the empty chair between you and Sirius.

“I’m right here,” the voice came from behind James as Remus made his way around the table.

Sirius sat up straight and pulled Remus’s chair out for him; inevitably pulling the chair closer to himself. “Are you alright? You were gone for a while.” Sirius asked.

“I’m fine, just having one of my headaches,” Remus mumbled quickly, hoping not to worry his friends too badly.

“Are you out of that potion Pomfry gave you? Do you want to go back to the castle? Are you sure you're okay?” Sirius rushed out.

Remus blushed, James wore a smirk on his face, you and Lily shared knowing looks. “I’m fine Pads, I promise,” Remus reassured.

By the time the rest of the group was ready to go your heart was in pieces. James and Lily got along swimmingly during the trip and you had even noticed a light blush paint her cheeks when James complimented her. Remus noticed your sinking mood and suggested you all head back to the castle. You did your best to avoid Lily on the walk back to Hogwarts but she noticed your irritation easily.

“Are you okay?” Lily asked once you returned to your dorm room. She was verily confused about your sudden mood but she didn’t want to push you. She thought it might have something to do with the way you were acting earlier in class.

“I’m fine Lil’s,” you answered quietly, sitting on your bed to take your shoes off. You had to admit you were annoyed at her and that only made you feel worse. It wasn’t her fault that he liked her or that you liked him. Besides you had begged her to go so it wasn’t her fault.

“No, you're not. I can tell. Y/n/n cut the crap, I can tell something is up, what’s going on with you.”

“It’s nothing Lily, will you just leave it alone.”

“Is this about the boys?”

“No! Bloody hell, do you always have to be in my business!” You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth. You and Lily barely ever fought and you hated shouting at her.

“So this is about the boys?” Lily said accusingly. She was pissed. “I don’t understand what your problem is! You're the one that wanted me to be friends with them! You're the one that told me to give James a chance! I want you to be happy, but if that’s too damn difficult for you the least you could do is pretend!”

“I am pretending!” You shouted back.

“Then do it better,” Lily demanded.

“Alright, why don’t I go downstairs and tell James how glad I am that you're getting along.”

“Oh, so this is about James?” Lily interrupted.

“Yeah Lily,” you huffed, “this is about James.” Realization dawned on her.

“So why don’t I go down there and tell him how much I like him.”

“Y/n-“

“No. It’ll be good. I can tell him how much I’ve been thinking about him.” Lily looked shocked. She couldn’t believe she never noticed. “That I haven’t stopped thinking about him since the moment we met. That I’m so fantastically over the top in love with him that for every moment of every day I can’t believe my own damn bad luck that you met him first.” Tears streamed down your face as you realized what you had just confessed. Lily looked like a deer in headlights.

You couldn’t help but sob. Large tears leaving trails down your face as you cried. The sobs wracking your body felt never-ending. It wasn’t until you felt Lily’s arms wrap around you that you saw any end in sight.

“It’s okay. Shh, shhh, shh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Lily was crying now too. She couldn’t believe how blind she had been.

“I’m s-sorry, Lily. I’m so sorry, I know it’s- it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault either. You're my best friend, I should have realized.” She assured, squeezing you tighter as she started rocking you both back and forth.

“Lily, I screwed everything up.”

“No, you didn’t. I’m not mad at you, okay?” You nodded. “Okay. Now C’mon, let’s get you off the floor.” Lily finished. Pulling you from the floor. You both made your way to Lily’s bed sitting up against her headboard.

“So you and James?” Lily giggled. You glared at her half teasingly before breaking into soft giggles. “What, too soon?” She asked wearing a small smile.

“Yeah,” you smiled back.

There was a long silence as you and Lily sat there. Neither one of you knows what to say.

“Lily, I know you’ve said it a million times before, but I also know people change their minds, so I need to ask: do you like James? Because if you do, well he likes you and I want you both to be happy. I don’t want to get in the way.”

Lily laughed. Loudly. Until she saw the defeated look on your face. She stopped, caught her breath a little bit, took your hand in hers. “Y/n I promise you, the only feelings I have for James are strictly platonic. You were right when you told me to give the boys a chance. They are hilarious and James is a good person, but he’s not my type. I’m glad you convinced me to get to know them, but trust me I’m still just as annoyed at James’s flirting as ever.”

You laughed softly at Lily’s response before giving her a brilliant smile. A smile that quickly faded as a new question popped into your head. “Lil’s what in Merlin's name am I going to do?”

“I have no idea.”

But the two of you quickly figured it out. As you both had learned when it came to dealing with feelings, and dealing with James, avoidance was key. And within the next few days, you basically had a routine. Breakfast together, away from the marauders; James was clingy in the mornings. Lunch with the marauders; Lily friend-zoning James every other sentence. Dinner with the girls; gossip and corny bets on when Remus and Sirius would finally kiss to follow. It was an easy enough plan and the boys didn’t even seem to notice. It made Lily becoming friends with them easier but took away the chances of James breaking your heart all day. And James quickly stopped flirting with Lily every time she was there.

The only problem was, James did notice. And given the fact that the Christmas holiday was quickly coming up, he was determined to figure out what was wrong.

“Hey! Y/n! Wait up!” James shouted as he jogged down the hall after you. You had finished your last class of the day and couldn’t wait to retire to your dorm. Midterms were exhausting and the last thing you needed at this moment was James’ antics.

“What’s up James?” You asked quietly. Continuing towards the common room.

James quirked an eyebrow at you. “I know you think I haven’t noticed...but I have.”

Your heart rate tripled in speed. “No-noticed what?”

“You’ve been distant lately.” Your heart rate decreased mildly. “The only time we talk is at lunch and even then you and Lily sit as far away from me as possible.” But that wasn’t entirely true. You had been distant for nearly 4 months now. The only time you have hung out with the boys like you use to was that day in Hogsmeade. “Y/n- what’s going on with you? We used to hang out all the time. I thought that after Hogsmeade we would go back to the way we use to be, but we haven't had a real conversation since. Is it Lily? Because I'm trying to act normal around her, I’ve stopped nervously flirting. I-“

“It’s not that James,” you interrupted his rambling. You sighed. He was never going to let this go.

“Well then what is it?” James threw his arms up in frustration. He always was one to talk with his hands. “Because, Merlin, I can’t figure it out for the life of me.”

“It’s none of your business James.” You raised your voice slightly to match his.

“Is it Remus? Because I’ve seen you two. You’ve been holding hands, and he had his arm around you at the three broomsticks, and he was going to give you his jacket. Bloody hell Bertha Jorkins has been telling everyone she thinks you two are together. She said you guys were cuddling in class the day we went to Hogsmeade. Are you two just fooling around or are you together? Because-“

“Excuse me?” You were livid now. “As I said before: it’s none of your bloody business! And even if you were right, which you aren’t, what makes you think interrogating me about it is going to fucking help!” You and James stopped walking. Turning to face each other in the middle of the hall.

James shrunk back a little. He had never seen you this angry. Well, scratch that, he had never seen you this angry at him. But he was angry too and James Potter had one large fault. His pride. “It is my business. He’s not right for you. You do realize he has feelings for Padfoot right? You are just going to hurt each other. You're my friend, but you are messing with his head!” By now everyone in the hall had turned to watch the show go down.

“Blimey, James! The only person messing with people’s heads here is you! Remus and I are friends! End of story! I’m so sorry that he happens to be a better friend than you! That he actually gives a shit about me!”

“I care about you!”

“If you cared about me at all you wouldn’t go flaunting how much you love my best friend! If you cared about me at all you wouldn’t be standing here yelling at me! If you cared at all, you would have noticed that the reason I’m avoiding you is that it hurts too fucking much watching you fall in love with my best friend!” You gasped as you realized what you had just confessed. Tears were forming in your eyes, a few had already escaped. James looked confused, and hurt, and shocked. You were both frozen in place. That’s when you heard the whispering. Everyone in the hall gossiping back and forth. Nothing felt real. The world was moving in slow motion. There was a ringing in your ear. You turned your head to look around, Lily and Remus were shoving through the crowd as Peter pointed out your location.

Lily got to you in a fraction of a second. Throwing a look at James, who still couldn’t find the words. There were tears in his eyes too. “C’mon let’s get you out of here,” Lily whispered, putting her arm around you and pulling you down the hall. Suddenly everything was real again. You could hear the people gossiping, could feel the stone floor under your feet. could hear James call after you.

“Wait! Y/n-“ but Remus grabbed his arm to stop him from following you and when that didn’t work he moved in front of James putting both hands on his shoulders to keep him in place.

“Stop, James. Stop.” Remus sighed, “let her go.”

“I- I don’t know what happened. I…” James trailed off. His cheeks were unbelievably flushed, tears streamed down his face. He couldn’t tell exactly what he was feeling. He knew he was frustrated, tired, hurt, but there was so much swirling around his head he couldn’t understand.

Remus looked around at the unmoving crowd. A glare took over his face as everyone watched. “Wormtail, get these people out of here.” He said over his shoulder to Peter.

Peter nodded quickly. “Oi. Clear out of here! This was awkward enough without you all poking your noses in!” The crowd quickly dispersed.

“Remus?” James asked, voice cracking. “What- what just happened?”

“Remus? James? What’s going on? Everyone’s been talking about a fight all up and down the halls.” Sirius said, rushing up behind the boys. He caught sight of James' face. “Bloody hell, what happened?”

“We’ll fill you in later, now let’s get out of here.” Remus brushed him off.

It didn’t take long for the boys to make it to their dorm; everyone whispering as they passed by.

“So what happened, James?” Remus asked. Peter had only filled him and Lily in on the major details when he rushed to retrieve them.

“I- I wanted to ask her why she had been so distant. Things didn’t exactly go as planned. I got annoyed and then she got defensive and then I accused her of sneaking around with you and then she got mad-“

“You did what?” Remus interrupted.

James stood from his bed running his hands through his hair for the umpteenth time since he arrived at the dorm.

“I don’t know Remus! I was angry and I noticed you two have been so close lately and there are all these rumors, and she’s been avoiding me and I said some things I didn’t mean.”

“Yeah, okay, that’s understandable, I did the same thing in Hogsmeade. Get to the point!” Sirius stated.

“I’m sorry, you what!” Remus directed at Sirius.

“Oh my Merlin, Remus, get over it! What happened next Prongs?” Peter sighed exasperatedly.

“She got really mad and told me it was none of my business. I - I guess, I kind of accused her of messing with your head.” James winced at his stupidity. “She said that the only person messing with people's heads was me, and then she said that I didn’t care about her, and I said I did, and she said if I cared about her I wouldn’t flaunt my feelings for Lily— she said she was avoiding me because it hurt too much for her to watch me be in love with her best friend.”

“Bloody hell,” Sirius mumbled. “James, mate, you're my best friend, my brother, but you’re fucking daft.”

“Don’t you think I know that!” James threw his arms up… again. His frustration with everything was only growing. He was mostly angry at himself. His stupid pride. His stupid ego. His stupid feelings. His stupid head. His stupid heart. His stupid oblivious self.

“Mate, what the hell are you going to do?” Peter inquired.

“I don’t know… I mean, what am I meant to do? I don’t even understand what just happened,” James sighed defeatedly. Once again making his way to his bed and threw himself back in it as he spoke.

Remus facepalmed.

“Oh, for fucks sake Prongs!” Sirius stood from his bed, nearly knocking Remus over with the momentum of it. “She’s in love with you! She has been for years! But you’ve been so focused on Evans you’ve never even seen it! You’re always ‘Lily that, and Lily this. And oh, Padfoot do you think she likes me? What does she think about me? No Padfoot, I don’t want to go prank Minnie, Lily thinks I’m an annoying stuck-up prat.” Sirius mocked. “Who cares! Who cares what she thinks of you? People you love aren’t supposed to make you feel that bad about yourself! Believe me, I know.”

Remus watched as Sirius’ eyes flicked over to his bedside table. Sitting there on top was a letter Sirius had received from his mother concerning the Christmas holiday. He hadn’t discussed any of its contents, but Remus knew it must have been bad. Sirius hated going home for Christmas, but this year he was downright dreading it.

James had rolled over to face Sirius as he ranted. He looked guilty, but also as if he had realized something. Remus wanted to ask what he was thinking; he didn’t.

“You need to apologize,” Peter added.

“Apologize? I didn’t do anything wrong! Okay, yeah, I shouldn’t have yelled at her. But it’s not my fault that she has feelings for me!” There was his blasted pride again. James hated himself.

Remus stood up abruptly. Making his way to the door.

James sat up. “Where are you going?”

“Honestly Prongs, I have no idea. Anywhere but here, because if I have to sit here and listen to you bitch, I am going to kill you. Y/n is a good person. She cares about you. She convinced Lily to hang out with us because even though she has feelings for you, she wants you to be happy. Even if that means you're with someone else. So I’m not going to sit here and listen to you complain about it. You’re a good person James. You’re trusting and kind and you love your friends unconditionally, but right now you're being an arse.” Remus slammed the door on his way out.

The three boys sat in silence for a while. James laid back on his bed fiddling with the snitch that he had stolen from the Quidditch gear his first year. Sirius seethed quietly. Peter pulled out a potions book and started working on his next assignment.

After about 10 minutes Sirius stood from his bed again. “ I'm going to check on Moony,” he grumbled quietly, exiting the room before James could get a word out.

“I’m going to the library,” Peter stated, before picking up his bag and heading toward the door.

“Wormtail, wait. How badly have I just screwed everything up?”

Peter, who was never one for brutal honesty, uncharacteristically decided not to sugarcoat it. “On a scale from one to ten, I’d give you a twelve.”

James groaned. Damn his stupid pride.

He needed to fix this, and with only 3 days till Christmas break, he didn’t have a lot of time.

“Remus?” Lily's voice startled the boy. Remus had made his way to the library, surprised when Sirius and eventually peter had joined him, but the two boys had quickly gotten bored and had decided to go raid the kitchens for snacks. Remus wasn’t sure exactly how long he had been there.

“How is she?” He asked.

“About how you’d expect. She’s heartbroken and this whole kerfuffle has turned her into a nervous wreck. That’s why I’m here actually, she wanted me to ask you for something.”

“What is it?”

“Well she doesn’t want to see him, and honestly neither do I. She said you guys have this map that can show you where everyone in Hogwarts is at any time. Which I’ll lecture you all about later; right now I just need to know who has it?”

“Yeah, honestly I debate on whether or not that map was a good idea anyway. You would like it though it's got a cheeky personality.” Lily raised a brow but the smile on her face betrayed her. “James has it.” Remus finally answered.

“Of course he does,” Lily rolled her eyes. “I need you to get it from him.”

Remus gave Lily a skeptical look.

“She doesn’t want to see him, Remus. You and I both know that he’s going to pull something to try and make this better but he can’t.”

“I’m not going to pick sides, Lily,” Remus responded. James had given him too much for him to choose Y/n, but Y/n was one of his best friends. She stood up for him when no one else could. They understood each other like no one else did.

“Please Remus, you don’t have to give it to us, just keep it away from James,” Lily begged.

Remus contemplated his choices. He could take the map from James, help out his best friend, and be accused of betraying James, or he could leave it be, and watch James break Y/n’s heart all over again. There wasn’t much of a choice. “Fine. But if anyone asks, this conversation never happened.”

“Has anyone seen the map?” James asked as he rummaged through his trunk. He had been looking all over for you before deciding that the marauders map was the quickest way to go. That is until he realized that the map too had gone missing. “Guys, seriously, where is the map? I can’t find it, and I need it to find Y/n.”

The room filled with dismissive grumbles as none of the boys had seen it. Remus had decided to compromise. Instead of taking the map from James he just happened to hide it in a place he knew James would never look but would be easily excusable once found.

“Maybe you should leave her alone James. Wait until after the holidays; give her some space,” Remus mumbled, turning the page of his book without looking up.

“I can’t Moony. I have to make this right.”

“James. You’re not going to fix this in an afternoon. You need to get your head on straight. You don’t have a plan, you don’t even know how you feel, you need to take a break from all of this.”

Whether James liked it or not he was forced to take Remus’s advice. The Christmas holiday came faster than expected and the next thing he knew he was at home thinking of how he could make things better.

It didn’t take long for Euphemia and Fleamont Potter to realize something wasn’t quite right with their son. James sulked around the house, spending hours in his room or out in the backyard practicing quidditch. He picked at his plate during dinner, he dodged his mother’s questions about his love life and his father's questions about his friends. Euphemia was growing increasingly worried.

“We have to do something Monty,” Euphemia insisted.

“What do you suppose we do dear?” Fleamont inquired.

“Well, I don’t know. He’s never acted like this before, I’m worried.”

“Come here, love.” Euphemia took a seat next to her husband, who put an arm around her. “I know you're worried. I am too. But this is James. He’s always told us everything, he’s a good kid. Maybe we should give him a little space. He‘ll come to us when he’s ready.”

“Maybe you're right,” the women sighed. “I’m going to talk to him tomorrow though. If he tells me what’s wrong, great, if he needs some time then he can have it, but I’m not going to sit here and act as if nothing is wrong.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” the man smiled at his wife, who leaned up to press a small kiss to her husband's lips.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

James sighed. “Come in.”

Euphemia wasted no time in swinging the door open. She found James laying on his bed. The boy fiddling with his stolen snitch. Thinking. “Got some time to talk with your mother?” The woman questioned as she took a seat on the foot of James' bed.

“Of course, Mum.” James sat up. “What’s up?”

“Your father and I have noticed you haven’t quite been yourself. And I know you're a teenager and you don’t want to discuss everything to death, but I want to know what’s wrong.” Euphemia watches as her son's shoulders slump forward. “If you need some time that’s fine. But your father and I can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s going on.”

“It’s not anything bad, I promise,” James answered anxiously. “I-I just screwed everything up with my friends. Honestly, Mum, I don’t want to talk about it yet.”

“Okay, my love. Just let me know when you’re ready,” Euphemia stood from the bed. She brushed some of the curls out of James' face before placing a kiss on his forehead.

“I just— don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You never could.”

James took a couple of days to gather his thoughts. He didn’t know why he was nervous to tell his parents. They were unbelievably forgiving and had always made sure he knew just how loved he was. Their love was unconditional. That might be exactly why he was so nervous though, they had taught him to love the same way, and he felt he had failed miserably.

Euphemia and Fleamont Potter taught their son to take care of his own. They taught him to love extravagantly. It wasn’t a surprise James was a sucker for grand gestures, he loved big, and he wanted to make sure his friends knew it. But he had let them all down. He had broken your heart. Had disrespected you and your feelings. Had enraged Lily. Had turned Remus against him in the process. Had created massive tension in the group.

And now, after it all, he was even more confused about his feelings. He loved Lily, didn’t he? But maybe you and Sirius were right, people you love aren’t supposed to make you feel bad about yourself. He didn’t think Lily made him feel bad, she just made him… unsure. He questioned his worth with her. He cared so much about what she thought that one sentence could crush all the confidence he had.

You never made him feel like that. He was comfortable with you. Yet his many feelings involving you were starting to become overwhelming. He never felt anxious. He could be himself with you. But there was that flutter in his stomach every time you complimented him. That increase in his heart rate when you smiled at him too long. Not to mention that burning rage he felt when he saw Remus’s arm around you. The way his heart sank when he realized you were avoiding him. The heat in his cheeks when he saw you in his sweater. Godric, he needed to get his head on straight. He needed to take a break from thinking about it all.

James had made his way outside to practice quidditch though he didn’t feel much like dragging out his broom or any of his quidditch gear. This resulted in him tossing his quaffle through a short goal post with little effort. He charmed the ball to always come back to him which took even more effort out of the sport. It didn’t help that it was freezing outside. Not to mention the sun now went down at six o'clock leaving the yard dark and foggy. There was just enough light, shining from his parents' Christmas decoration, for him to see as he threw the ball.

“Well, I sure hope you didn’t become the greatest chaser in Hogwarts history practicing like that.” James turned to see his father looming by the doorway. James knew he didn’t mean to loom. Fleamont potter was a man who knew very little about how intimidating he could appear, a man who was so good-natured it didn’t occur to him that he might scare strangers. He started walking to his son.

“Not usually, but I don’t feel like trying today dad,” the boy responded. Just as the words left his mouth he realized the quaffle he sent flying moments ago was now barreling towards him. He quickly realized he couldn’t catch it and resigned to his fate of getting knocked down; it wouldn’t be the worst thing that had happened to him this month.

Luckily enough for James, his father had quick reflexes and caught the ball before it could hit him. “Maybe you should try a little harder.” Fleamonts voice was teasing as he smirked at his son. He undid the charm on the ball before throwing it toward the small storage shed where James kept most of his quidditch gear. “But not right now. Effie says dinner is ready,” the man informed as he turned to make his way back into the house.

“Dad wait!” Fleamont turned toward his son. “Can I talk to you about what happened back at school? I’m sure mum told you what I’ve already said about it, I just,- I want to know what I should do about my friends. I hurt one of them and now Remus is pissed at me and Sirius is on his side because, well it's Remus, and Peter is avoiding all of us because he doesn’t pick sides, and It's all my fault and I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you talked to them?”

“Yes. It’s not like we’re fighting but there is all of this tension and things are just weird. I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay. Which friend did you hurt?”

“I- well- Y/n. Apparently, she has feelings for me, but I've always had this thing for Lily and anyway, Y/n has been avoiding me and I thought her and Remus were secretly dating and I got pissed and things got out of hand. I really just wanted to talk to mum about that part but you’re going to find out anyway I guess.”

“Why were you upset when you thought she might be dating Remus?” Fleamont inquired.

“Because Remus has this thing with… that doesn’t matter. They just aren’t right together.”

“You know what? I think you would be right to leave this one to your mother.” James nodded solemnly. “I have one piece of advice about your friends though. The only way to fix this is to fix things with this girl. They are your brothers James. Don’t let your pride get in the way of that. Trust me, it's not worth it. Now let's get inside before Effie takes off our heads for being late to dinner on Christmas eve,” Fleamont smiled at his son, throwing his arm over his shoulder and leading him inside.

For just a few short hours James allowed himself to forget about everything else. He basked in the warmth of Christmas with his family.

“Okay. Okay, you can open one present.” Euphemia chuckles at her son and her husband's pouting faces. The two men jump up in victory. James rushes to the home’s large living area where their large Christmas tree sat. “But not the big one James that's a surprise.”

James scoffed playfully at his mother. He quickly reconsidered his options on that's of his presents to open.

“Well while James picks out a new gift,” the other man in the room started, “I have a gift you can open, Love.” Fleamont beamed at his wife.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Euphemia smiled at her husband as he handed her a small box.

“Just open it,” the man chuckled.

James watched as his mother pulled the box open, pulling out a beautiful locket. “I didn’t pick any pictures for it. I thought we could have some made tomorrow for it.” Fleamont informed.

“It's beautiful, love. Thank you.”

It was a beautiful scene. And James realized it was oddly familiar. The one Christmas he had ever stayed at Hogwarts over the break. He thought he was going to be all alone, that is until he found out you were staying as well. You didn’t know each other very well back then but you were friendly enough, and it was calming for him to know he wouldn’t be all by himself. And even though Sirius had decided last minute to stay at Hogwarts as well, you still spent time together. The three of you ate every meal together laughing and getting to know each other, you went on trips to Hogsmeade together, super excited to explore the village since it was the first year you were allowed to go, you even pulled some harmless pranks on Professor McGonagall. It was one of his favorite memories. When Christmas day rolled around you awoke to find your new friend had a gift for you.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Jamie,” you smiled brightly at him.

“Of course I did. We’re friends now and I wanted to thank you for making sure I didn’t end up here all alone on Christmas.” The boy brushed you off. “Now go on; open it.”

You pulled the box open to reveal a gorgeous necklace. You gasped as you took in the circular pendant, it was beautifully crafted, silver, and hanging from a long chain.

“It's amazing James!” You squealed as you pulled it from the box.

“That's not all,” James commented. He gently took the necklace in his hand, sliding his fingernail between the edge to unclasp it. He showed you as he opened the locket, revealing a hilarious photo of you, him, and Sirius you had taken in Hogsmeade. The three of you were all laughing, the brightest smiles on your faces. It was a perfect picture. James realized now that you had been blushing in it.

“I love it!” you exclaimed again. You stood from the floor next to the Christmas tree and rushed over to a mirror. James followed as you tried to clasp the Jewlrey around your neck.

“Here let me help,” he mumbled as he took the ends away from you. He felt butterflies in his stomach as your fingers brushed. He quickly clasped the necklace together, watching as you took in its beauty.

“Thank you so much, Jamie. It's perfect. I love it.” Y/n beamed as she stared at the locket. “Merlin it's beautiful.”

“Yeah, beautiful,” James murmured in agreement, though his eyes never left you.

“James, which one do you want to open?” His mother's voice brought the boy back from reality.

“Oh, umm, how about this one?” James quickly grabbed a random box that had his name on it.

“That's a good one,” his parents answered.

The boy sat down on the carpet in front of the tree as he always did when opening gifts. His inner child refused to let him sit on the couch as he opened his gifts. He quickly pulled the wrapping off of the box turning it around to be met with a picture of a record player on the front.

“We know you and all of your friends like that muggle music so we thought this would be good for you.” His father commented.

James smiled widely. “It’s brilliant! Thank you.”

“We got you some records too, but you will have to wait for those till tomorrow,” Euphemia informed.

“This is amazing. I wish Y/n were here, she loves these. There's one in a shop in Hogsmeade, she loves It, she picks a record to play nearly every time we are there. I can’t wait to see her face when I show her--” The reality of his relationship with you suddenly hit him as the words left his mouth. He didn’t know if he would ever get the chance to show you. He didn’t know if he would ever get the chance to even speak to you again.

The boy's parents shared a knowing look.

“I’m going to start a pot of tea,” Fleamont said suddenly, “why don’t you two talk,” he suggested softly before leaving the room.

Euphemia smiled at her son, patting the spot next to her on the sofa. James got off of the floor and took the seat next to his mother.

“I’m guessing dad already told you what I said before dinner?”

“You would be right.”

“I hurt her mum. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I know I need to fix it but I don’t know-how. It doesn’t help that I'm so bloody confused. I don’t know how I feel. I thought I loved Lily, I always have but maybe I was wrong. Because everyone around me is telling me that love isn’t supposed to feel that way and I can’t stop thinking about Y/n.”

“How does Lily make you feel?”

“I don’t know. Like that stupid butterflies in your stomach thing… except they feel like wasps and they don’t want to be there. I want her to like me but honestly, I don’t know why anymore. And Y/n? She makes me feel like I can do anything y’know. And I thought that I had only ever seen her as a friend but that's not true. She gives me butterflies too, but these feel more like fireworks. I think I really fancy her…” James had a realization, “I think I always have. But I thought I loved Lily and I met her first. I’m just- really confused.”

“You know, my mother once gave me some advice I think fits your situation very well. ‘Don’t fall for the person who gives you butterflies, because that means your nervous, your anxious. Desperate for their approval. You fall for the person that you’re comfortable with. The person you know you can be completely yourself with. The person that makes you feel like home.’ James, I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t tell you who to choose. I’m your mother, it’s my job to support you. Your father and I taught you what love is, didn’t we?” James nodded. “Remember that. You already know what to do James. I believe in you.”

“I love you Mu-”

A loud banging on the front door interrupted James' words. Both of them stood from the sofa and made their way closer to the front door.

“Fleamont!” Euphemia shouted down the hallway.

When the banging came again James took a step forward, “I’ll open it.”

“James-”

But the boy had already unlocked the door and turned the handle. Nothing could have prepared him for what he was met with on the other side. Leaning against the doorway, James found Sirius Black. The boy's hair was disheveled and falling in his face, blood had made a trail down his face, he was clutching his side.

“Oh my god.”

“I did-didn’t know where else to go,” Sirius looked up at James who noted the tears in his eyes.

“Dad! Dad, come help me!” James raised his voice, pulling Sirius inside and placing his arm over his shoulder so that he could help him walk. “Mum go get some bandages, and your wand.”

“Merlin's beard! What happened?” Fleamont exclaimed as he finally made it into the room, quickly helping his son with his injured friend.

As soon as they got Sirius onto the couch, Euphemia was back wand in hand, bandages in another. “Sirius? Sirius, it’s okay, you’re safe. What happened?”

Sirius didn’t answer. He shook his head rapidly before hissing at the pain.

Fleamont pulled James from the room as Euphemia began patching Sirius up. “Do you have any idea who could have done this?” James didn’t take his eyes away from the door. He didn’t know when he had started crying but there were tear tracks along his face. “James?”

“His mum.” James shuttered. He had never been more sure, and he hated it. But he knew that Sirius's mother had hurt him before, and despite James’ pleas with Sirius, the boy always returned home.

Euphemia quickly finished patching Sirius up and made her way into the kitchen where James and her husband were waiting.

“Is he okay?”

“He’s going to be fine. Looked a lot worse than it is. Fleamont? I think we need to have a word.”

James made his way to Sirius's side as his parents conversed. And while Sirius told him his story, Euphemia and Fleamont decided that Sirius was never to return to Grimauwald Place again.

“So did you figure out what you're going to do about Y/n?” Sirius asked as he lounged on James' bed.

“I think I have an idea,” the bespeckled boy answered. It had been a few days since Sirius had arrived at the potter's house and the boys had been plotting.

“You just gonna confess your undying love for her?”Sirius asked sarcastically.

“No! Not like that would do any good, not to mention that never really worked out for me before,” James laughed.

“You should. It will be funny to watch her slap you.”

“Okay, ill do it, but only if you do the same with Remus.” James' smirk was unmatched. Sirius chocked.

“I- what- I don’t- what are you talking about?” Sirius was bright red as he feigned confusion. James nodded along, amused.

“Sirius, I may be a blithering idiot, but I’m not that blind.”

“Shove off.”

“C’mon pads, it's not a big deal.”

“How long have you known?”

“Y/n pointed it out to me last year,” James answered.

“Christ. Does everyone know?”

“The girls have a bet on when you are going to do it,”

Sirius choked again. James laughed.

“You're taking the piss aren’t you?”

“Only a little bit,” the boy smiled widely. Sirius threw a pillow at him.

“Lily! Lily wait! Please!” James shouted down the halls, running as lily tried to get away from him. James was faster than the girl though and once he caught up with her he quickly pulled her into an empty classroom. It was the first day back to school from Christmas break and James had come up with a plan. But he needed to talk to lily first, he needed closure, and he needed her help.

“What the hell do you want?” Lily barked.

“Lily, listen-”

“Why the hell should I listen to you! Honestly James there is not a single sentence you could say that would make me not want to punch you in the face!”

“Lily please listen to me. I know I messed up. I’m a complete tosser and if you never want to speak to me again after this fine. But I need to fix things with Y/n and I need your help.”

The redhead scowled at him. “Have you gone mental?” she fumed. “I’m not helping you with anything!” the girl yanked open the door ready to make her escape.

“I fancy her lily!” She shut the door, but James kept going. “I think I always have. That’s why I acted the way I did. I thought she and Remus were sneaking around and I was jealous. I made an arse out of myself but I want to make it right. I don’t need her to forgive me because she shouldn’t, I just need her to know that I’m sorry.” James took in a shaky breath. “Please Lily, I just need to make this better.”

Lily sighed. “You really are an arse… I’ll help you.” James smiled relieved. “But I need to make sure you actually care here. I need to know your not just saying this because she has feelings for you.”

“You really think I would do that?”

Lily didn’t answer.

“You know, you were the person to introduce me to Y/n. our first year. We had met on the Train. A couple weeks after school started Sirius and I sat next to you at dinner, and Y/n was there. I told some corny joke trying to impress you and she smiled at me. That one where her eyes light up and she scrunches her nose. You know the one?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I thought I was going to pass out. Because you had just rolled your eyes at me but Y/n had lit up.” James continued.

“I remember,” lily grinned.

“I never want that smile to leave her face. She looked so happy, like nothing in the world could ever go wrong. Merlin, I wish I had gotten to know her back then. I wish it hadn’t taken us till the third year to become friends. I wish I had realized sooner that I can’t live without her. I wish I had done everything differently. I am sorry for everything Lily. Not just with Y/n but with you too. I shouldn’t have pursued you for so long. I knew you weren’t interested and I should have accepted that. I’m sorry, and I promise to be better.”

“You really do fancy her don’t you?” James was taken aback by Lily’s question but answered anyway.

“I do.”

“So what’s the plan?” Lily wondered, a large smile on her face.

James didn’t have a real plan. Well, he had a plan for what he was going to say when he finally got the chance but he didn’t have a plan on getting you alone. Remus had forgiven James as quickly as Lily had and now the whole group was working together to help James get you alone. Plus Peter and Lily had provided James with a perfect gift. But you were smart enough to know what was going on and all of their attempts over the next few days ended up being futile.

“All I’m asking is that you hear him out,” Lily specified as you threw yourself down on your four-poster.

“Lil’s you of all people don't get to tell me to listen to James.”

“Y/n, I know your mad at him, and you have every right to be, but this needs to stop.” Remus groans. He was sitting on the floor back against your bed frame, an old book in his lap. “Seriously I’m getting knackered.”

“You two are not helping.”

“No, we are… You’re just too stubborn to see it.” Lily explained.

You stood from your bed and gabbed your bag throwing a book in there as well.

“Where are you going?” Remus quired.

“Not telling you. You'll both send James after me and then I’ll have to kick both of your arses,” you retorted.

“It’s nearly curfew though!” lily protested, but her statement fell on deaf ears.

“I thought you might be up here.” The voice startled you before filling you with dread. You had made your way to the astronomy tower, you weren’t sure how long you had been up here but you knew it must be past curfew.

“Use your special little map to figure that out?”

“No. I just know you,” the boy answered as he walked across the tower and sat next to you. You had your knees pulled up to your chest, and you refused to look at him.

“What do you want James?”

The boy frowned. “Look at me? Please?” Reluctantly you turned your head to look at him. His hair was that curly mess you always loved, his glasses were sitting crooked on his face and the urge to reach out and fix them was almost too strong for you. He wore a small sad smile. A smile begging you to forgive him. His eyes were soft and caring. Damn it, he hadn’t even said anything yet and your resolve was crumbling.

“Don’t do that,” you demanded.

“Do what?”

“Look at me like that. It’s not fair. You hurt me. You embarrassed me. You don’t just get to come up here and make it better with one look. It’s not fair. So stop. Stop looking at me like that.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

You looked away from him. You hated that he had this much power over you with just a look. You could still feel his eyes on you; though you've realized he probably couldn’t help it. James was one of the few who wore every emotion on his face.

“I have something for you,” the bespeckled boy offered. You looked back at him as he handed you a small box.

“What’s this for?”

“Christmas. And to say I’m sorry, well mostly to say I’m sorry.”

“You can’t just fix this with a gift.”

“I know. I don’t plan to. But I wanted to get this for you anyway.” James assured. He didn’t know how you were going to react. He could only hope you were just as cheesy as he was.

You pulled open the box, and much to your amazement found a beautiful locket. A locket you already owned. A locket James had given you. You looked at James confused.

“Open it.”

You did. Inside was the picture of you, James, and Sirius, where it had always been on the left. To the right sat a new picture. One you had never seen before. One you never knew had been taken. The picture was of you and James standing outside in Hogsmeade, you were wearing his sweater, a blush adorning your face, an unrecognizable look on James. Snow was falling all around you. The picture was beautiful.

“Wormtail gave me this when we got back to school. He took it that day we all went to Hogsmeade. I didn’t even know he was there I swear but the photo gave me an idea.” When you didn’t say anything James continued. “There is one more thing to.”

You looked back down at the box the locket came out of, sitting there was a folded piece of paper. You pulled it out and opened it.

Maybe Christmas can be our season?

You looked at James again. He smiled at you, before taking the gift out of your hand and sitting it down next to you. He grabbed both of your hands. “I am so, so sorry for what I did to you. I was angry and jealous, and I let my ego get the best of me. I never should have yelled at you. I know you're not just going to forgive me overnight, but I would like a chance to prove to you how much I care about you. I was so caught up with lily that I never realized it, but the truth is it's always been you. But I always told myself that you were my friend, that you didn’t feel that way about me, and that I had feelings for lily, but that’s not true. I was an oblivious idiot, and I swear if you give me a chance I will make it up to you every day. You don’t have to forgive me. But I never want to not be a part of your life.” His speech brought tears to your eyes though it was taking you a second to process everything.

“Yo- You were jealous?” You inquired. James had to fight the urge to smile, of course after everything he just said that's what caught your attention.

James blushed a little, nodding sheepishly. “Yeah. I was being an idiot.”

“I’m still confused.”

James laughed softly, “Jesus, Y/n I’m in love with you!”

You sucked in a sharp breath. This couldn’t be real could it? James was in love with you. You had to be dreaming right?

“Really? Me? You’re in love with me?”

“Yes, Y/n. I already told you, It’s always been you.” You smiled brightly at James’ words. Launching to wrap your arms around his neck. He let out a chuckle as he wrapped his arms around you. “I’m so so sorry, love. For everything.”

“I forgive you.”

“I love you,” He whispered in response.

“I love you too, Jamie.” You pulled back slightly. “Can I have one more thing for Christmas?”

“You can have anything you want ever,” James promised.

“Kiss me?”

“Well I would consider that more of a requirement than a gift considering we are sitting under mistletoe,” James smirked.

You looked up to see a small sprout of mistletoe blooming in midair over you. “You’re a cheeky bloke,” you giggled.

“You’ll have to get used to that because it only gets worse.”

Before you could respond his lips were on yours. You smiled into the kiss, causing him to do the same. It was messy, all wide smiles and clashing teeth and soft giggles between breaths but it was perfect.

“Maybe Christmas really is our season.”

Bonus:

“So you two finally got together?” Sirius laughed as you and James walked into the common room holding hands.

“Yep kissed and everything,” James laughed, causing you to elbow him in the side. He just put his arm around you and smiled.

“Look at that Remus I win!”

“Win what?” You asked glaring at them playfully.

“We had a bet on when you two would kiss. Unfortunately for me, I forgot how absolutely hopeless you were,” Remus conceded.

“And that means I win! So give it up Moony, I won fair and square!” Remus pulled a bag of chocolates out of his bag and threw them at Sirius. Hitting him in the face.

Sirius was unfazed even though the bag came dangerously close to the healing gash that ran across his forehead and threw his eye brow.

“How does it feel to be a loser moons?” Sirius badgered. His taunting was unrelenting and Remus quickly became annoyed. It didn’t help that Sirius was getting so close to his face as he teased.

“Shut up-“

“Hey don’t be a sore loser, Moony. It’s not your fault I’m so brill-“

You, James, and Lily (who had been sitting quietly in an armchair with a large smile) all gasped as Remus shut Sirius up with a kiss. When they pulled apart every ones eyes were wide. Including a very shocked and seemingly very dazed Sirius.

“Rem-“

“I said shut up.”

“Ah ha!” You jumped up, Lily groaned. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on you.

“What you think you guys were the only ones with a bet?” You laughed when you noticed the attention. “Thanks to Remus here, Lily owes me 5 galleons!”