anxioussweasley

[anxioussweasley]

fucking joseph quinn and his pretty fucking doe eyes and his cute little fucking smile and precious little laugh and fucking cute accent like what the fuck

[anxioussweasley]

Adam : I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think that i do

Ronan : I never said that when have i ever said that

Adam : Every day since i met you

Gansey : This morning at breakfast

Blue : Yesterday when he beat you at cards

Ronan :

[anxioussweasley]

Don't Forget It | Eddie Munson

Summary: When Eddie's head starts to fill with that self-conscious storm, he doesn't know what else to do but hide. But tonight, you're not letting him hide anymore, and you're certainly not letting him forget how much you love him, even if he thinks it's not true.

Warnings: Self-conscious Eddie, crying, swearing, angst!

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: This is a very angsty fic, and surprisingly it was very cathartic to write. It's not something I'd usually do, but for some reason, this idea really fits well.

PLEASE REBLOG FOR MORE EDDIE MUNSON FICS!

Eddie was one of the most open people you knew, and you could often read him like a book, his emotions so evident on his face. But sometimes, as easily as the wind would shift, he’d pull away, turning into himself and hiding away from you. This didn’t happen often, normally he’d be okay and tell you what was on his mind, no matter how awful or self-deprecating it was, but sometimes the storm in his head got too much, and he always wanted to protect you from the messy thoughts in his brain. 

You hadn’t seen him in a couple of weeks, the both of you busy with exams at different schools, conflicting work schedules and an overload of homework and extracurricular activities. But it was Saturday, and the first Saturday night of each month was date night, and so far, Eddie hadn’t called to cancel. 

It was early when you got to his trailer, the sun still beaming down on you, and there were kids playing on the trailer park playground, parents calling them in for their dinner. Wayne was the one who answered the door, cigarette pinched between his lips and work uniform on, signalling he had the night shift. 

Like always, Wayne greeted you with a wide smile, a quick shoulder squeeze and offered a soda from the fridge, which you’d never refuse when you knew how much he liked having visitors like you come around. Eddie wasn’t in the lounge room or kitchen, and you couldn’t hear the shower going when you moved around the small space. It was like Wayne could tell what you were wondering as he watched you, and with a gentle sigh, he leaned against the small kitchen counter.

“Eddie’s in his room, kid. To be honest, I didn’t expect you to come by tonight, I thought Eddie would have cancelled.” Wayne takes a sip of his drink and shakes his head as you give him a questioning look. “Look, it’s not been a great week for him. The record shop let him go, since they’re closing at the end of the month, his English teacher has been hard on him about some dumb essay, and you know how Eddie can be, he’d rather blow out his eardrums with music instead of talking through his issues.” 

You let a sad smile slip through, knowing Wayne was correct, that Eddie wasn’t great at sharing negative emotions, no matter how much they were affecting him. 

“I knew I should have called before I came over, I’ve got nothing but radio silence from Eddie these last couple of weeks, he’s probably not really wanting to go on a date tonight.” You weren’t upset. Sure, you were disappointed that you wouldn’t be able to spend time with your boyfriend, but you knew he probably needed space more than he needed a night out on the town. 

“You could say hello if you wanted to. If I know anything about my nephew, it’s that his day always gets better when he sees his favourite person. Eddie’s in his bedroom working on the next D&D campaign.” Wayne crunches up his soda can then, and tosses it into the trash, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before picking up his wallet and keys. “Anyway, hang around if you want to, I’ve gotta go to work. There’s money on the bench for pizza if that takes your fancy, and really, kid, check in on Eddie, I know he’s missed having you around.” With that, Wayne’s squeezing your shoulder again, saying a gentle good night, then heading out the door and to his truck. 

The trailer is silent then, and you’re all alone in the small living space. One half of you wanted to walk right out of there, get back in your car and drive home, leaving Eddie in the peace he obviously wanted, but your other half, the half that selfishly missed his company and his smile and his voice, was pulling you towards his closed bedroom door. And before you knew it, you were knocking tentatively, not wanting to wake the beast that could be lying dormant inside. 

“Hey, uh, Eds. It’s me. Wayne just left for work…and I know you probably don’t feel up to going on our date tonight, and that’s absolutely fine, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay?” The only response you get is utter silence, and you sigh softly, frowning and hoping Eddie would just answer the door, give you some sort of sign of life. But still nothing, so you push on. “Look, I’m sorry I haven’t been around much these last couple of weeks, but I’m always here to talk if you want to…if you need to. You don’t have to lock yourself away, Eddie. It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me everything, or if you just want to sit in silence together, but please understand that you’re not alone…please baby.” You pour your heart out to the closed door, but you still get nothing in response.

Giving up, and deciding that Eddie really did just want space and silence, you let your hand drop from the door and start walking away, planning to leave the small trailer and head home, trying to entertain yourself with the idea of a rented movie and maybe a takeaway. You couldn’t force Eddie to open up when he didn’t want to, or wasn’t ready, and you also knew you didn’t want to make the situation worse, but as you grabbed the handle of the front door and opened it, you heard a creaking behind you.

“I don’t deserve you.” Eddie’s in the doorway of his room, dressed in a raggedy Hellfire shirt and an old pair of sweats, hair a mess and hands marked with pen ink. He looked like he always did on a Saturday when you came over to hang out, but his eyes were red and his bottom lip was bitten and chapped. He could barely look at you when he spoke, but when you turned and looked at him, he knew you heard him.

“Hey, Eds.” You greet him softly, not wanting to startle too much when he already looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights, eyes wide and everything. Eddie sniffs, and it’s clear to you then that he’s been crying, that the red eyes aren’t from smoking a blunt, but from letting tears fall while he’s alone in his room. You fight every urge to take him into your arms then, and instead fight back the sudden lump in your throat. “How are you?” You don’t know what else to say, but you do nearly mentally face palm once that question spills from your mouth. 

“Oh, you know, totally normal, loving these summer days and so enjoying all the exams.” Eddie tries to joke, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Instead, it falls flat between the two of you, a big, ugly, bitter joke that is hard to swallow and a complete lie, and Eddie looks away again, scuffing his socked feet against the worn carpet. “I’m…I’m sorry for hiding from you. I just, my head got messy and you know…nothing like a bit of peace and quiet to think through your thoughts.”

“Did the time help?” Your question is soft, and though Eddie tries to smile, a crooked thing that isn’t all that honest, you know the answer. He’s shaking his head, twisting his hands together in the way he always does when he’s nervous or can’t form the right words in his head, and then he’s looking away, and crying out.

“No…it didn’t help.” You’re crashing into him then, wrapping him tightly in your arms as he breaks down, and he doesn’t expect it, nearly fights your embrace. But then he’s sobbing, and melting into you, clinging to your hold and crying into your neck. 

The two of you are on the carpet, wrapped around and providing a lifeline that you didn’t know the other one needed so bad, and all you can hear are Eddie’s gentle cries and your sniffs, trying desperately to dry your eyes. 

“Why…why do you love me? How can you even stand to be anywhere near me?” Hearing those words spill from your lover's mouth has your heart breaking, and it takes everything in you not to cry in response. Eddie’s still got his face smooshed into your chest, avoiding your gaze, and the material of your shirt is damp from his tears. 

“Oh, Eddie.” You don’t know how to answer him, of course, you want to spill your heart out to him, but you also know that he’s delicate right now, and you don’t want to worry him anymore. But you trudge on, and run your fingers up his back, soothing the wreck of a metal head. “I love you because you’re the strongest man I know. You’re always kind to those who deserve it, always trying to make someone’s day better when they need it, you’re funny and sweet and talented and smart and perfect for me in every way.” Eddie’s smiling slightly at your words, but you can tell it’s not the real answer he’s looking for. “Baby, why do you think I love you?”

You hoped you’d get an answer, but Eddie just shrugs, hair falling in front of his face and eyes downcast once again. 

“Honestly? Half the time I don’t believe you when you say you love me. I mean, no one else has ever loved me, my uncle tolerates me, I know if I left town forever no one would miss me…” His words drifted off as you cupped his cheeks, urging the man to look up at you, thumbs moving to catch the tears that are about to fall, and you have to try with all your might not to sob when he utters his next sentence. "It's not that I'm saying I'm unlovable, just... some people have to be easier to love than others, right?" 

“Is this what you’ve been worrying about these last couple of weeks? If I love you, if you deserve to be with me?” Eddie shrugs once again, and for a moment you want to shake some sense into him, scream to the world that you love him and adore him, but you know that’s the last thing that’ll work.

“You could be with someone like Steve, someone who can give you everything in every moment. Someone who’s not an emotionally constipated high school failure that the world already gave up on, some who’s not into playing games for kids or music that makes your ears want to–.” You stop him then, a hand over his mouth, and you shake your head, hurt and sadness etched on your face.

“Sweetheart, I want you to listen real close, okay? Because for once and for all I’m going to tell you something, and you need to listen, right? You hear me, Eddie?” He only nods, and you remove your hand, letting it sit against his chest, right over his heart. You take a deep breath then lean your head against his, and speak softly so that only he can hear as if it’s a little secret between the two of you. And you would scream it to the world if he needs you to, to tell it to fuck off and stop trying to destroy a man who’s just trying his best, but you’ll leave that to another time. “I love you. I love you, and not any unrealistic or nonexistent version of you. I love you for you, and all of your flaws too. Sure, sometimes you can be a total butthead, a ridiculous pain in the ass and sometimes I want to yell and scream at you, but I will always take the good and the bad days, Eddie Munson. You deserve every ounce of love I give you, and you have all my love, and will always have it. I don’t want Steve, I don’t want someone else even if you think I do or that I deserve someone else, because I will always only want you. You’re my goofy, metal head who’s the sweetest man imaginable, always knows how to make people laugh, and always, always, makes sure I know that I’m safe, I’m okay, and that you love me. And I don’t want to hear any more of you doubting yourself about it, Eddie. If you think like this again, then come to me, and I’ll tell you that I love you as many times as I need to, in fact, I won’t stop telling you until I die.” 

Eddie’s smiling then, and it’s finally reaching his big brown eyes, a sight that has you falling in love all over again, and his hands are holding your waist, keeping you close to him in hopes that you’ll stay with him forever. 

“I love you, Eddie Munson, and don’t you forget it.” You’re kissing him then, gentle at first until he responds, and then firm enough to make it clear that this isn’t just another dream like he’s been having these last couple of weeks. You love him, you need him and you want him, and you’re not letting him disappear without a fight. 

Eddie’s breathless from the kiss by the time you’re pulling away, and he leans into your touch when your fingers card through his hair in that delicious way he loves, and finally, after his tears are dry and he’s smiling down at you, wide and bright, he’s uttering words you’ve longed to hear.

“I don’t think I could ever forget after that speech, sweetheart. And just so you know, I love you too, and I always will.” He’s kissing you now, all over your face and your neck and any skin he can reach, and you’re laughing into the space around you, a sound that’s so warm and lovely it makes his skin tingle. He’s relieved, finally out of that dark place he was for ages before, and though you both know that you’re not out of danger yet, it’s a good start. 

It’s during pizza on the couch in front of some dumb movie neither of you are paying attention to, that you repeat that you love him, that you take him in your arms once again and shower him with affection. It’s not the typical Saturday night date, but you don’t care, because he’s yours, and you’re his, and you’re not going to let him forget that any time soon.

PLEASE REBLOG FOR MORE EDDIE MUNSON FICS!

Tagging: @gold-onthe-inside @sadgirlml @gay-prentiss @writingquillsandpainpills @prettyboyeddiemunson @liltimmyst @thelaststraw3 and tagging some others that might be interested: @ariesl0ves3ddiemuns0n @boldlyvoid @lil-stark @ellesgreenaway @reidsbookclub

[anxioussweasley]

not in the mood for this (everything)

[anxioussweasley]

someone: whats your favorite [insert literally anything here]

me: *forgets everything i’ve ever enjoyed* uhhhh

[anxioussweasley]

a medically induced coma would really hit the spot right now

[anxioussweasley]

is that my shirt?

prompts: “every time i see you, i fall in love with you all over again” & “i can’t believe you remembered that�� “i remember everything about you” & “i could just stare at you forever” “creep” & “i was doing fine, really, and then you waltz back in my life like you didn’t break my heart” & “is that my shirt?”

summary: you and eddie broke up months ago, but when you hear someone was found dead in his trailer, you had to go with the group to find eddie and make sure he’s ok <3

warnings: some bad language

*takes place in season four*

——

It had been five months since you and Eddie broke up, and it still hurt you every day. You two were perfect together. The only reason you called it quits was because Eddie was tired of you being bullied just for dating him. It took a toll on both of you, and Eddie didn’t want you to go through that anymore.

You thought you’d never have to see him again until Dustin and Max came busting into the Family Video store that you, Robin, and Steve worked at, saying that Chrissy Cunningham was found brutally murdered in Eddie’s trailer. There was no way that he did this. You’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff, but there was no way Eddie did this.

“I know this is awkward for you, Y/N, but do you know where he could be hiding? We need to find him before the cops do. We all know Eddie didn’t do this.” Dustin said to you.

“There’s a lake house that his friend owns. He used to take me there a lot. I remember him saying he felt safe there.” You told the group.

“Fantastic. Where is it?”

The five of you jumped in Steve’s car and headed for the lake house. When you discovered no one was at the house, you noticed the boat house in the back.

“Hello? Is anyone home?” Robin said.

“What a dump,” Steve added. He then grabbed an oar and started hitting the boat filled with tarps.

“What are you doing?! What are you doing?” Dustin asked twice.

“He might be in here,” Steve responded.

“So take the tarp off!” Dustin told him.

“If you’re so brave, you take the tarp off!” Steve sassed back.

“You two are complete idiots.” You told them.

Suddenly, Eddie jumped from the boat, hearing your voice, lunging at Steve, a broken bottle against Steve’s neck.

“Eddie!” You all shouted at him.

“Eddie stop! It’s us! Dustin and Y/N!” Dustin told him. As soon as he heard your name, he turned around to face you.

“It’s ok Eddie, we’re here to help. Let him go.” You told him, walking slowly up to him. He let Steve go and then slowly slide down the wall, trauma all over his face. You squatted down next to him, putting a hand on his. “We need to know what happened.” You told him. He looked at you.

“You won’t believe me.”

“Try us,” Max said.

After sitting in silence for a few moments, hesitating on telling the group what he saw, he looked at you, head tilted. “Is that my shirt?” Eddie questioned. You were taken back, looking down at your shirt. Shit. Today had to be the day you accidentally put this on.

“Not important.” You stated. “Please tell us what happened, Eddie.”

While Eddie explained everything he saw, the group was trying to wrap their minds around Vecna and why this was happening. As the night grew on, Eddie was clearly starving. Steve, Robin, Max, and Dustin went into town to get Eddie his favorite foods, but you didn’t want to leave him alone. The two of you sat in silence for a while, until Eddie finally broke it.

“I could just stare at you forever,” Eddie told you. You looked at him and rolled your eyes.

“Creep.” You replied.

“I can’t believe you’ve been through something like this before and didn’t tell me,” Eddie said.

“I try to forget about all of the shit we’ve gone through. It’s traumatic, as you know now. I’m so sorry you had to go through that too, Eddie.” You got up and sat next to him against one of the walls.

“You hide it really well. I should’ve known all of those nightmares meant something.” The nightmares. The ones that stopped a few months into dating Eddie. The ones that continued the second he left your life. “How are you doing, though? Since us…” Eddie dragged on.

“I was doing fine, really, and then you waltz back in my life like you didn’t break my heart.”

“It kinda wasn’t my fault that I came into your life again, but I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. You’re right. I didn’t even have to come with them to find you, but classic Y/N; the second anyone mentions your name, I’m there.” Eddie smiled at you, sadly. “Do you have any idea how exhausting it is being friends with Dustin? You are all he ever talks about.” You complained to Eddie.

“Excuse me, you realize I’m friends with him too? If we aren’t talking about D&D, we are talking about how badass Y/N Y/L/N is and why I shouldn’t have broken up with you.” Eddie confessed to you. You just looked down, forgetting they were friends for a second too. “You’re not the only one who hurts, Y/N. Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again. I see you walk in the hallways, the cafeteria, and after school in the parking lot. I even come into Family Video when I know you’re doing inventory and won’t see me. It hurts like hell not being able to be with you.”

“Then why did you leave?”

“Because I know how much the hatred from others was starting to bother you. I couldn’t let you go through that anymore.” Eddie put his head down, ashamed.

“It was all worth it to be with you. Every single second. I have literally been to hell, A.K.A. the upside down, and I have fought some screwed-up monsters. Jason and the other’s mean words didn’t faze me. As long as you loved me, that’s all that mattered.” You were now looking at Eddie, your eyes on each other. You played with the bracelet on your wrist. The one Eddie gave you years ago before you were even dating. Eddie smiled and put his forehead on yours.

“I still can’t believe you didn’t have enough beads so you put ‘EDE’ instead of your full name.” You said, referring to your bracelet.

“I can’t believe you remembered that,” Eddie said.

“I remember everything about you.” You replied, realizing what you said after it left your mouth. Eddie turned his body towards you more and held your face with his hands.

“If we get out of this screwed-up mess, will you please go out with me? My buddy Dustin told me about you and I think we’d be good together.” Eddie joked, kissing your forehead.

“Oh, so you’re the crazy long-haired guy Dustin was telling me about who has the same bat tattoos as me? What a coincidence!” You smiled and looked at yours and Eddie’s arms. You both got matching tattoos on your birthday last year. Eddie pulled you close and wrapped his arms around you, keeping you safe.

“So, you really know a girl with superpowers?” Eddie asked, clearly wanting to hear about everything that has happened in the past. You laughed and jumped right into the crazy Hawkins history, Eddie’s arms wrapped around you the whole time.

——

ok soo cute i love how this turned out. 

the matching tattoos were definitely inspired by the fact that i soooooo badly want the demo bat tattoo on my arm in the same place but it would be super visible lol. my other tattoos are on my back and forearm and small-ish haha.

make sure to like and reblog!

[anxioussweasley]

sometimes a family can be a himbo jumping into a lake bc his one brain cell misfired and he has something to prove, his ex-girlfriend jumping in after him because she’s unfamiliar with the concept of fear, his lesbian best friend jumping in after the ex-gf because she’s secretly in love with her, and the guy who jumps in last because he’s too scared to be alone in the boat.

[anxioussweasley]

just my personal opinion here but i think joe quinn should get a redo on the buzzfeed puppy interview

[anxioussweasley]

hello august you piece of shit

[anxioussweasley]

“eddie should be back in s5!” i say into the mic. the crowd boos. i begin to walk off the stage in shame. “no, she’s right!” i hear a voice in the back say. the lights come on. it’s metallica.

[anxioussweasley]

C CBcas

S sz

Sadd as s

XD SCz

Szsss

It is

Sa/

[anxioussweasley]

They're only noodles, Steve. 🦇

[anxioussweasley]

JOE QUINN rehearsing Metallicas “Master of Puppets” for ST4

[anxioussweasley]

Guys I’m looking for an Eddie fic I started but got distracted and lost it:(. I’m pretty sure the title was Letters and it was about the reader dying and Eddie, Nancy, robin and Steve cleaning out their room. I wasn’t to finish it so bad cause I’m in a sad move but I can’t find it anywhere 😭

[anxioussweasley]

At this point being in love with Eddie Munson is my whole and only personality trait -

[anxioussweasley]

strange love- e.m

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Summary: eddie has a date, with someone who isn’t you. you’re less than thrilled about it

Warnings: ANGST, jealousy, unrequited love, eddie being clueless, cursing, mentions of vomiting, me knowing nothing about D&D (i’m sorry but it deserves a warning), eventual best friends!-to-lovers!

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: alright y’all this is the imagine i had talked about a few days ago and as someone who loves these kinds of fics, i’m quite proud of myself. also i apologize for my lack of knowledge about D&D, eddie would definitely be disappointed, but i had a friend read it over and he thinks it makes sense so we’re going with it! i hope you all enjoy :)- sava

“Well hello everybody!” Eddie exclaims, scaring half the Hellfire lunch table with his presence. You hear groans and curses fill the table as Eddie laughs at the reactions he pulled from his friends. You just sit in the seat that’s located on the left of his, laughing at his usual antics, but curiosity begins to strike when you take a look at Eddie.

His face is bright and shiny, his smile stretching from ear to ear as he sits down with his lunch, pulling out some pretzels to munch on. You take in the other details about him, how his hair looks actually kept up and how he doesn’t reek of his usual pot smell, but of…cologne? You had no idea who it was that was sitting next to you, but it sure as hell wasn’t Eddie Munson.

“What’s got you so happy today, Eds?” You ask, nudging him with your elbow. He flashes you a big smile, pretzel bits showing along with his pearly whites. He looks adorable as ever.

“Well I’m glad you asked, sweetheart. I, Eddie Munson, have a date tonight,” he announces. Your heart does a summersault at the nickname, his nickname he always uses on you, before you fully process the second part of his statement, making your breathing stop for a moment. What the fuck?

You didn’t make this fact known, but you were crushing on Eddie…hard. The two of you have been close since your middle school days, having really connected with his band Corroded Coffin playing at the school talent show and approached them afterwards to share your appreciation. It’s been history ever since.

But it wasn’t until your freshman year of high school when you started crushing on Eddie. You had been having a hard time at home due to your parents divorce, and your father winning full custody meant you moved into the same trailer park Eddie and his Uncle Wayne lived in, the two of you growing closer than before now that you only lived a few doors down. You and Eddie would spend most of your nights together anyway, and one particular night your freshman year, you felt these butterflies flutter around in your stomach as your head rested against Eddie’s shoulder watching Sleepaway Camp, your and his favorite movie that you’d watch at least once a month together. Since that day you had kept your feelings hidden from him, not wanting to ruin things between you and your best friend. You thought the pain of not having him in your life at all outweighed the pain of being stuck in love with him, and that was a fight you’d be willing to battle.

“W-what? W-with who?” You ask, trying to cover up your slight stutter with a cough.

“Okay so you remember our latest show at the Hideout? Well with more and more people starting to show up as of recently, we’ve been getting some fans. And this girl, her name is Shirley, gave me her number and I thought ‘What the hell?’ and rang her up yesterday,” he explains to you and everyone at the table, the freshman not being able to help their curious little selves. 

“That’s cool Eds,” you reply back, trying with all your willpower to remain neutral and shove the emotions you were actually feeling down deep inside.

“Yeah. We’re actually hanging out after Hellfire. She even said she might swing by, she’s been curious about the game a little. At least, that’s what she told me,” he tells you, causing you to drop your fork and look at him. He shoots you a weird expression at your reaction.

“Oops, sorry. But uh, I thought you weren’t allowing non-members into the meetings anymore?” You ask, your eyebrow raised.

“That’s true, but, as Dungeon Master, I’ll make an exception this one time. Who knows, maybe she could become an honorary member. She’s really cool, Y/N. You’d get along with her great,” he tells you as he clasps his hand on your shoulder. 

“I seriously doubt it,” you mutter lowly, hoping your close proximity to Eddie didn’t allow him to hear. As if a saving grace occurred, the lunch bell rang and you jolted up from your seat, collecting your trash. You could see Eddie eyeing you from your peripheral. One thing there is about Eddie, he’s observant as hell. You’d usually applaud and commend it, but in cases where you were trying best to hide your feelings, you absolutely hated it. Sometimes you wondered how you were able to get away with him not knowing how you truly felt, but all the more relieved that he didn’t.

“Hey sweetheart? Is everything okay?” He asks you. You quickly turn to him with a slight smile and nod, before rushing towards the trash can that sat behind him.

“Yep, all good. Just gotta go tend to some newspaper stuff. I’ll see you at Hellfire!” Your words moving as fast as your legs as you bid the table goodbye until your meeting tonight, practically sprinting towards the newspaper room, where you’d spill your feelings to one Nancy Wheeler in your secluded gossip corner.

Nancy was one of the only people who knew about your crush on Eddie. The two of you have been super close since you started high school, and even more so with all the shit that’s happened with the Upside Down that started when the two of you were sophomores. Plus, with her brother now joining the Hellfire Club, she asked you to keep an eye on him, especially with everything that’s already happened in Hawkins, but you really didn’t blame her for that.

Stumbling down the hall with your backpack sliding off your shoulders, you open the doors to the newspaper room and see Nancy’s head pop up from her collaborating with Fred. You walk down the stairs calmly while giving her a pleading look, nodding your head towards the corner the two of you have your major discussions at. She gives you a small nod before returning to her conversation with Fred.

You unpack your bag and begin working a bit on the paper while you wait for Nancy. You were trying your best to remain calm, focussing on your breathing so you didn’t get worked up more than you were when you started talking with Nancy. Your mind had a habit of working against you, running a hundred miles a minute coming up with the absolute worst scenario of every situation you encountered. You didn’t need to be thinking doubtfully about your friendship with Eddie, but you physically couldn’t help it.

How could Eddie have a date with someone and not tell you sooner?

The two of you were best friends, he always told you when something great happens to him immediately after, and you do the same with him. Living just a few doors down, you had that luxury of always being near the person when you celebrate your wins, or comfort one another in your losses. So him keeping this from you until the next day? It definitely hurt, in more ways then one, and you didn’t quite understand it. Would you still be upset about it? Absolutely, so that bit didn’t matter much. You just wanted to know why. Why he’s choosing to date someone now, after being single for so long. Why he-

“Hey, I’m here. Sorry, I was working with Fred on the basketball story,” Nancy tells you, pulling you out of your zoned-out state.

“No worries,” you say, your voice residing somewhere distant. You feel a slight kick come from under the desk, prompting you to look down for a second, before bringing your eyes up to see Nancy, who shoots you a look of concern. Nancy too, was very observant, from what you’ve seen over your friendship the past three, nearly four, years. The people you surrounded yourself with the most were some of the most observant people in Hawkins, which was both a blessing and a curse. You sigh, turning slightly closer to her, ready to confess.

“Eddie has a date tonight,” you whisper softly. You watch her jaw open, as shocked as you were. At least, hoping in the same sense that you were, and not in a negative way. You never really knew about Nancy’s stance on Eddie, whether she liked him or not. The way you talk about him all the time you would think she’d be sick of it all, but never stopped you from spilling your secrets out to her.

“No way! With who?” She whisper-yells, scooting closer to you. You watch over her shoulder at Fred and some others looking your way, so you fake working on a spread, signaling Nancy to do the same.

“Some girl that came to their gig at the Hideout on Tuesday. I didn’t see it so it must’ve been when I went to the bathroom,” you continue to tell her while fake focusing on the piece of paper in front of you. Your entire demeanor suddenly became deflated, saying it aloud and hearing it from yourself. All becoming so real.

“That’s crazy. Are you okay, Y/N?”

“No, but what can I do about it? He and I aren’t dating, so I have no room to say who he can or can’t date,” you answer. You peak over at her and see her looking you dead in the eye, to which you couldn’t blame her. Even you didn’t believe what you were saying.

“Yeah, I know. He said she might stop by Hellfire, and, Nance, I have no idea how I’m supposed to get through the meeting tonight if she’s there,” you tell her. She reaches out and squeezes your hand and you give her a tight-lipped smile. 

“Hey, if you think it’ll help, I can pick you up from Hellfire tonight and we can chill at my house for a sleepover. Junk food, distractions…I can even invite Robin and see if she’ll pick up some tapes after her shift at Family Video tonight,” Nancy suggests. You eyes widen in excitement and nod, truly needed a night where you don’t talk or think about Eddie. Just a night with your girls.

“That would honestly be the best, thank you Nance,” you tell her. She flashes a warm smile your way and scoots a bit away from you.

“Perfect. I’ll pick you and Mike up at 9 after I get Robin from her shift, if she’s free. It’ll be fun,” you tells you. You agree and continue working on your spread, excitement flowing through your body at the thought of a fun night ahead, even with the dread buried in the pit of your stomach at the thought seeing Eddie tonight at Hellfire with a woman at his side. A woman that wasn’t you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Running down the halls and towards the room behind the theater, you look at your watch and try to pick up the pace. You had lost track of time in your efforts in avoiding Eddie by doodling some drawings in the sketchbook that you kept on you at all times, which in turn made you late to Hellfire, something you never did. But in your defense, you usually had Eddie giving you a ride to and from the meetings. Today was not like the rest. Walking through the threshold of the meeting room, you give yourself a few moments to catch your breath.

“Sorry I’m late, I-“ you began to say, but were interrupted by giggling coming from Eddie’s throne. You see a girl with strappy heels and a short, short dress leaning against it playing with Eddie’s brunette fringey curls. That must be Shirley.

“Oh good, you’re here. We almost started without you,” Dustin exclaims, his goofy smile appearing on his face.

“Yeah, I doubt it,” you tell him, throwing your bag in the seat closest to him and ruffling his hair, him protesting and swatting at you in return. You notice out of the corner of your eye Eddie giving you a confused look, then looking towards your usual seat, which remained empty. It was no secret that you had your own seat in Hellfire, right next to the Dungeon Master himself, but today, you knew it was best to keep your distance. Didn’t want to interfere with his date and all. 

“Alright, now that everyone’s here,” Eddie pauses, giving you a look. You chose to just look at the table in front you to avoid eye contact. “Lets start.”

Dustin is the first to roll the dice, and everyone around watches as the campaign for the week begins. You try your best to pay attention to the game in front of you, but keep getting distracted by the amount of giggling coming from Eddie’s throne, due to himself and Shirley. They were acting like those couples you and Eddie would make fun of in the halls that were practically fucking in the halls of Hawkins High, and you’d always make fake sick sounds as you passed by them. Now that he’s acting those same people right in front of you and the rest of the club, you felt yourself growing sick, for real this time. 

You stood to the side as you watched Shirley climb in Eddie’s lap, draping herself all over him and her lips ghosting over his ears as she whispers little things in his ears, and the reactions he gives to her words make you want to punch a wall. Not in anger, but in jealous. The green eyed monster had awoken inside you, and you felt yourself getting riled up at the thought of them continuing this act throughout the rest of the meeting. The worst part of it all? You knew this isn’t where the night ended for them, and you could only imagine what other kinds of plans they had up their sleeves.

“Y/N, you’re up,” Mike whispers to you, snapping you out of your small jealousy-induced trance. You take the dice from Gareth and shake the dice in your cold hands a few times, before tossing them on the table.

6.

You didn’t have enough health to pull any big moves. No luck to play the hero tonight. You sigh and slump your shoulders as the rest of the group lets out an annoyed groan. You were completely off your game for the night and you knew with how observant the club was, they could tell. But luckily for you, they didn’t press you about any issues you may be having. 

“What’s your move, Lady Y/N?” Eddie asks you, his smug look making your skin crawl. Usually his dramatics during the game always wowed you and you’d join in, but it was hard to take in anything he was saying or doing with the leech that was attached to his hip.

“I…retreat,” you say, taking a step back from the table and Mike is quick to take the dice and roll for himself in order to save the campaign. You walk over to the seat you set your stuff in and take the sketchbook out you’d been busy with before the meeting and begin to draw.

“Do you know where the closest bathroom is, rockstar?” you hear Shirley ask. You mentally groan.

“Sure thing. Y/N, can you show her where it is?” Eddie asks, turning to you. You place your sketchbook back in your bag and stand from your chair. Flashing Eddie a fake smile, you nod and begin to walk towards the door, the sound of Shirley’s heels clicking behind you filling your ears.

The halls are quiet as you make your way to the bathroom around the corner. 

“So you and Eddie, you’re best friends right?” Shirley asks you as you continue your journey to the bathroom.

“Yep, since middle school,” you answer.

“Oh that’s cool! I’m gonna be honest, I was a little worried when Eddie told me he had a girl best friend. I always think guy girl friendships are weird and don’t last. They usually always end up dating in the end or ending the friendship because one likes the other, and the other doesn’t feel the same way. At least, that’s how I see them,” she rambles. You slowly nod and point out the bathroom, her thanking you and doing a fake little run inside.

Pressing your back against the wall outside the bathroom, you can’t help but think on the words she said, the thoughts of you and Eddie ending your friendship lingering and seeping into every fiber of your body. It’s the exact reason you kept your feelings deep down and hidden, but would that work out in the end? Are you putting yourself through the pain and heartache for nothing?

The bathroom doors opens once more and she comes out.

“Thanks for waiting for me. I’m really excited to hangout with Eddie after your club ends,” she tells you. 

“What exactly do you two have planned?” You ask, your curiosity getting the best of you. Part of you didn’t want to know, but your brain was screaming at you to find out.

“Nothing special. We’re gonna go back to his place and hangout, maybe smoke some. He also mentioned something about watching a movie…Sleepaway Camp? Have you heard of it?”

You froze.

Did she really just say that?

She stops and turns to you, giving you a look of concern. You felt the world around you starting to spin, the feelings from everything starting to come up.

“I-um, I’m sorry, but I-I’m not feeling too great right now. The theater’s in there, but I’m gonna go outside and get some air. C-Can you tell someone to bring my stuff out to me when everything ends?” You ask, your voice shaking as you lean against the wall for support. She gives you a nod and scurries inside the theater, leaving you to bolt out the doors of the school and towards the parking lot. 

You bent over and held onto the railing by the stairs that spilled out into the parking lot, convincing yourself you needed to wretch. The feelings clouding your brain were mixed, swirling together in a nasty mixture that you weren’t sure how you’d describe to Nancy and Robin. The feels of hate and sadness blurring the lines and becoming one as you stood outside, wishing you had your jacket to protect your from the harmful feelings and the cool March temperature. 

Sitting on the stairs with no luck on spewing your guts out, you let out a sigh and hug yourself in a pathetic attempt to warm up a bit. Your body grew cold rather easily, something that was always an issue, but the solution, or rather the two, were inside. You kept your jacket on you at all times, even despite the temperature being hot, because you never know when you might need it. In the event you forgot your jacket, Eddie would either lend you one of his, or just wrap himself around you, rubbing your arms with his big ring-clad hands to get you in a good place. You always welcomed that comfort. It felt nice being so close to him, even if he may not feel the same.

Your pity party is interrupted by a car pulling into the lot and parking right by the stairs. As the window rolls down, you see Robin pop her head out in a cheerful manner, but soon her features soften when she takes in your sour expression and sad body language. 

“What happened?” Nancy asks from the driver seat. You rise to your feet with a sigh and walk over to the car, leaning inside through the window.

“More like what didn’t happen,” you respond, shaking your head and shrugging. 

“Did that girl show up? Nancy filled me in on everything when she picked me up, so I have a ton of movie choices for tonight,” Robin rambles.

“Yeah she showed up. And they were being gross and lovey-dovey all night. Made me want to puke,” you explain. You feel Robin’s hand touch yours in an attempt to comfort you, to which you place your other hand on top of hers and give it a pat.

“And what prompted you to be out here instead of inside?” Nancy asks. 

“Well first off-“ you begin, but hear laughter coming from behind you as the school doors open. You turn and see everyone laughing and walking together, the meeting drawing to an end for the week and you let out a soft sigh. Everyone goes in different directions, with Jeff, Gareth, and Dustin going off in one direction, Eddie and Shirley going towards their van, and Lucas and Mike coming towards you guys. Mike nor Lucas had your bag in their hands, which made you worried that you’d have to go all weekend without your supplies and homework.

“Wait, Y/N, where’s your stuff?” Robin asks. You shrug your shoulders and turn to the side, Eddie standing by Nancy’s car. You see his unreadable demeanor comes closer to you, his eyes fixed on yours as he holds out your bag to you. Taking it, you sling it over your shoulder and slide over as he kept walking closer to the window you once hung out of.

“Wheeler, you might if I borrow Y/N for a sec before you take off?” He asks. You watch Nancy nod and Eddie leads you over away from her car, out of ear shot of both Nancy and that crew, and Shirley, who’s waiting at Eddie’s van. You both just look at each other for a moment, you not really knowing what to say.

“Thanks for grabbing my-“

“What’d I do?” He asks you, his voice sounding neutral. You look towards the ground and swing back and forth on your feet for a moment, trying to think of a reasonable excuse for your behavior today.

“Nothing,” you reply, your eyes glued to the ground.

“You can’t even look at me, Y/N,” he says, looking down to try and catch your eyes. You let out a huff and look back up at him, trying to get this conversation over with, which was something you never wished with Eddie.

“There’s nothing wrong, okay? I promise,” you tell him. Now it was his turn to huff, added with a kick to the ground. You could see that you’re irritating him, and if you were him, you’d be irritated as well. But today was not your day, you just needed time away from him and try to bury the feelings you had towards him even further down. Take the weekend and recoup. Not to mention, his date was merely a hundred feet away and waiting for him to go back to your place and watch a movie together. Your guys’ movie.

“Y/N, please, I know you better than anyone. Can you please ju-“

“Eds! Are we going soon?” Shirley yelled from the van.

Ouch.

She just used your signature nickname for him.

What else did they plan on taking from you today?

“Soon sweetheart, I promise,” Eddie yelled back.

Double ouch.

Now he was using your signature nickname.

“You know what Eddie, just go, she’s waiting on you. Have fun watching Sleepaway Camp,” you tell him. Shit, why’d you just say that.

Your mind was starting to think before your mouth, the feelings that have been brewing the entire day bubbling to the surface and taking over the part of your brain that had rational thinking. That green-eyed monster was started to show her true colors. You turn on your heel and begin to take off towards Nancy’s car, when you feel Eddie grasp your wrist, stopping you.

“Wait, Y/N, how’d you know we were watching Sleepaway Camp? Did she tell you that?” He asks. You sigh and shift towards him.

“Yeah, we talked in the hall. But it’s not big deal Eddie, just go,” you say, not understanding why he was so determined to make things right between the two of you right now? Yeah, the two of you hated leaving things in a bad place, but you never pressed him about anything he was super upset about or just didn’t feel like talking about, and usually he was the same with you. Maybe today was not destined to be in the cards for you after all.

“You’re jealous,” he says matter-of-factly. You scoff and cross your arms, trying to add another layer of defense between you and your fragile heart that was about to break loose with all these feelings. You were starting to lose your resolve, and you weren’t sure how much longer you’d be able to hold yourself together.

“I am not jealous!”

“You are totally jealous! Jealous that I’m spending time with someone, a girl, who isn’t you. Don’t worry, Y/N, you aren’t being replaced, I’ll always make time for you,” he tells you, thinking he’s helped, when really, it only hurt more. Like he thought he’d have to pencil you into his life.

“It’s not that Eds-“ you begin to say, but his laugh cuts you off.

“Then what is it then? You mad you don’t have a ride? Or-or-or upset that we’re watching Sleepaway Camp?” he pesters you. You could feel yourself getting really worked up and uncomfortable, wanting to just jet off to Nancy’s car and ride far away from this conversation.

“Oh wait, do you like me or something Is that it? Do you have a big ol’ crush on me?” He asks mockingly, making you freeze. “Just tell me what’s wrong Y/N, please.”

You hesitate.

Fuck.

You. Fucking. Hesitate.

“N-no, I don’t have a crush on you,” you say, brushing it off with a weak laugh. You see Eddie himself freeze, looking at you with a deadpan expression. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Wait, Y/N…you have a crush on me?” he asks. That was definitely an understatement. You swallow down a breath that wasn’t able to escape, your body beginning to shake in fear.

You see the way his entire demeanor changed when he realized. The dramatics you so desperately loved stopped all together, replacing it with a scared look. Scared that it’s true and he had to let you down? Scared that he didn’t feel the same way? Scared it was you, of all people? That familiar feeling of wanting to throw your guts up began to boil in the pit of your stomach, your chest tightening as you continued to stare Eddie down like a dear caught in headlights, the silence booming throughout the parking lot. You couldn’t handle this, not tonight. You’ve already had the shittiest day possible, you need to escape before you lose your best friend forever.

You take off in the opposite direction, towards Nancy’s car as you hear Eddie calling after you. The tears were brimming your eyelids, desperate to fall and let every emotion you’ve been bottling up all day to come out in a flood. You open the car door and hop inside, practically shoving Mike in the middle.

“Drive Nance,” you say, shooting them a pleading look.

“Wait, Y/N, what happened?” Robin asks.

“Nancy, can you please drive away, now,” your voice raising as you plead. Nancy responds by changing the gear and stomping her foot on the gas pedal, making your escape out of the parking lot and away from Eddie Munson, who you can see still standing in the empty lot watching you leave. You let out a shaky breath as you turn and face out the window, hot tears rolling down your cheeks and sobs racking your body as you all make the journey to the Wheeler’s house.

i hope y’all enjoyed! comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! :)