#sorry i was thinking about this a lot and WHY i immediately just. distrust anyone with a DNI. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

0nlythrowharrybeaux · 1 year ago

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Young American Finale ^**

AHHHH THE FINALE IS HERE. I had such a hard time finishing this because I think I wasn't ready for it to end, but thus it had to. I hope you guys love this part. A lot happens and of course, the happiest ending for our lovely couple and their little angel of a baby boy 👼🏻

Series Masterlist

Warnings: descriptions of abusive relationships (verbal/emotional). Descriptions of personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder specifically). Descriptions of pregnancy. Fingering and oral sex (fem receiving), use of sex toys, sex (p in v, unprotected), breeding kink, multiple/forced orgasms. Descriptions of labor and delivery process.

WC: 23K

A little recap....

Y/N finds out that Harry has been hanging out with and talking to his ex-girlfriend Chloe for a few weeks. He has been acting very sketchy about it. So at the Sunday roast they are hosting, she borrows his phone and decides to give Chloe a call. Harry gets suspicious and decides to follow her in and finds out she's contacted Chloe...

“Baby, can I use your phone?” Y/N asked as she came up to him and he suddenly felt concern come over him.

“Ummm why? For what?” He asked right away and immediately regretted it because it sounded suspicious. Or maybe he was just being super paranoid.

“I can’t seem to find mine and I was supposed to call G, he wanted to run through his anniversary dinner plans with his man.” She explained. “I just want to find it, I’m gonna call from mine, don’t worry.” She assured and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Ummm sure. Yeah, of course.” He replied and handed it over. She grabbed it and typed in his password but it was wrong and she glanced up to him in confusion, “Oh, sorry forgot to mention I changed it. Archie knew it and downloaded a shitload of games on it and-”

“It’s fine, Harry.” She smiled, “You don’t need to justify it to me. I trust you.” She said looking deep in his eyes, but there was something in them that made him distrust her words and he frowned a bit.

“Right.” He chuckled and he took it and typed in the password and handed it over.

“Thanks. I’m gonna go look for my phone.” She said and headed inside.

Harry felt so unsettled that Y/N had his phone. He knew Y/N had seen the text Chloe had sent him after the first time they hung out after the cycling class. But she didn’t seem upset or even bring it up again, he hadn’t meant to hide it, but if she didn’t read into it then he was just not going to bring it up. And he really did intend on just closing the door with Chloe, but she was going through a lot and well he had been looking for something to do with his time, so he figured being a friend to her wouldn’t be a bad thing. So they kept hanging out and doing stuff around town. It was completely platonic. He hadn’t given Y/N any reason not to trust him in the past, and well he just…didn’t want to relive the horrors of that relationship with Y/N. Once Chloe got through her rough patch he’d just tell her that they couldn’t be friends. That was genuinely his plan, but he had been so wrapped up in her that he hadn’t realized that just being around her was changing him, the effects were so quick that he was oblivious to them.

He had been lost in the chatter until he realized that Y/N hadn’t brought his phone back for a while. It made him feel on edge, so much so that he quite literally chugged the beer before him and stood up abruptly, startling Skye.

“Alright, mate?” He asked and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, just gonna grab another beer. Anyone else want one?” He asked and his uncle, Julie, and Skye all said yes.

“So you’re drinking again? What happened to solidarity?” Gemma asked and he frowned a bit. He had been drinking again…he didn’t know why that hadn’t really clicked until someone mentioned it to him.

“S’only been two.” He said.

“Try 3.” Gemma said and he looked at her incredulously until he glanced down at the spot before him and saw that he had in fact polished of his 3rd beer already.

“Those are not all mine. We’ve all been drinking.” He said and immediately Gemma and Alyssa exchanged a look of concern.

“No mate, those are yours.” Skye confirmed and everyone laughed a bit and Harry frowned, suddenly feeling really defensive that everyone was laughing at him, “Well, fine. No more for me then. Should I still bring you lot another?” He asked and they nodded. “Coming right up. M’also gonna check on Y/N, she’s been gone too long.” He said and headed inside.

Now he was feeling conflicted and attacked and anxious. He beelined for their current bedroom and the door was closed. And when he tried to open it he found it was locked. He exhaled, jaw taut as he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he tried to listen for any sounds and could hear her muffled speaking.

“Open the door, Y/N.” He said through the wood. It took a few moments before the door opened. It worried him that he couldn’t really decipher the look in her eyes, but all he needed to know was that it wasn’t good. “Who were you talking to?” He asked and she looked at him for a second.

“Does it matter?”

“It does. You said you were going to talk to G and if you weren’t then why did you lie about it?” He questioned her. Just then his phone started ringing and she glanced down to it. She turned the phone towards him and his expression went blank and he swore that all of the blood in his body rushed down to his feet making him feel dizzy and out of sorts.

“Do you want to answer her or should I?” Y/N asked and he didn’t say anything, “I should warn you that I think she’s still calling for me so she might get a bit rude with you.” She said calmly and when he just stood there she shook her head and sighed as she handed the phone over and started to get around him to exit the room.

“What did she say to you?” He asked and she sighed.

“It doesn’t matter, I didn’t believe half the things she accused you of, she’s clearly psychologically unwell-”

“That’s rude of you to say, she’s just going through a hard time.” He said with a frown and Y/N sighed.

“I think she’s fine. She’s just a liar, Harry.”

“Why would she lie about anything that she’s been through?!” He asked in frustration.

“Because she knows that’s how she’ll reel you back in.” Y/N said simply and Harry frowned.

“She doesn’t affect me like that any more. It’s not like she was going to trick me into leaving you or something! I’m not an idiot!” He snapped and she frowned.

“I didn’t say you were-”

“I was just lending an ear. It was nothing bad!” His voice was raised now in defense when she hadn’t even said one accusatory thing to him.

“If it’s nothing bad why did you go out of your way to hide this from me?” She asked and his forehead creased even deeper in frustration and he sighed and it looked like he would say something but after about a minute of standing there in silence he didn’t say anything more. “OK, well I’m just going to head back outside.” She said quietly and before she could make it out he grabbed her arm.

“I know you saw the first text she sent me. You were looking through my phone. Why were you even looking through my phone?!” He questioned her as he stood in front of the door now.

“I was trying to see if Eddie had good news! After the morning we’d had I just wanted to share some good news with you. And we always look at each other’s phones! It had never been a problem before so I just assumed it was fine to look at your phone.”

“So you saw it, meaning that you’ve known about Chloe since then and you never brought it up. Why didn’t you bring it up if it bugged you? Were you trying to collect evidence against me so you can hold it over my head or leave me?” He asked and she looked at him like he was absolutely mad.

“Where is this about me leaving you even coming from?” She asked him, “I didn’t say anything because up until I saw that message I believed that you had lost track of time and somehow walked all the way to SOHO! I was confused about how I felt and when I started to doubt you I decide to trust you instead and hoped that you would do the right thing. The mature thing and take ownership of your actions and tell me yourself! And when you didn’t bring it up the next day I wanted to show you the message and ask you for clarification but you had deleted it!” She said and his eyes softened a bit.

“There was nothing for me to bring up anymore and I thought that…maybe it was just a quick run in…worst case scenario, a spontaneous and regretful hook up!” She explained and Harry looked hurt that she even thought that, “But then you kept hiding things and lying and I knew you would keep lying about it. I’m really sorry if you feel like I invaded your privacy today, but you’ve been deliberately lying to me for weeks and I’ve been going fucking crazy between deciding if I wanted to know what was going on or not! But then I realized that I couldn’t bear to hear something bad from you, so I decided to hear it from her if something was going on.” She said with tearful eyes but she wasn’t going to let a singe tear fall, “And I don’t know why you decided to lie to me, Harry. But if she still means something to you and you wanted her back in your life I would’ve tried to understand. But after all the sneaking around and now that I’ve spoken to her and have heard the way she’s talked about you and the things she’s said about you. Your supposed friend by the way, I don’t want her near you, me, or our baby, ever.” She said firmly and Harry swallowed thickly. “Can I go now?” She asked and he let her go and moved to the side.

“Are you angry at me?” He asked softly and she sighed as she stopped at the door.

“Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it.” She responded

“You have every right to be, but I swear I was just listening to her problems, it was absolutely nothing other than that and-”

“I know. We’re not done talking about this though. We should deal with this when everyone goes.” She said.

“I love you so much and I’m really sorry for all of this.” He apologized.

“Thank you for apologizing.” She said quietly and he nodded.

“Not gonna forgive me though?” He asked as he took her hands and the fact that she let him was a good sign.

“Obviously I will, but I’m still angry at you and I…don’t want to forgive you without clearing things up.” She said sincerely and he chuckled a bit, “I’m being serious.” She pouted and he nodded.

“I know, my love.” He assured, “I’m not laughing at you, s’just a nervous thing.” He said and she shook her head.

“I think I just want to understand why you…went through all these lengths for her before I can move on from this.” She explained her reasoning and he frowned.

“Baby, I can clarify how this even happened but I ummm…I don’t want to talk about why this happened.” He said to her.

“OK, but you need to so that we can clear this up.” She said and he shook his head.

“I can’t. I won’t.” He said to her with certainty and out of every emotion under the sun, the one radiating the strongest off of him was fear. He was afraid to talk about this with her.

“I get that it might be painful and hard to explain it but…whether you’re ready to hear this or not, she was in your head, Harry. She’d gotten in your head and a few more weeks of this and who knows where you’d be!” She explained anxiously.

“How can you even say that?” He asked, fully offended. “I wouldn’t betray you ever! Or just leave you!” He scoffed.

“Maybe not the you that I’ve shared all of this with, but that’s what you were doing though…” she said and he tore his hands from hers, “You were pulling away and you’ve been really weird and cold and dry…like how you were before and…well you’ve been drinking a lot more than your normal, and-”

“STOP IT!” He shouted out of nowhere and she just shut her mouth and he exhaled shakily and licked over his lips as he calmed down for a second, “I understand that I owe you an apology, but you’re not getting an explanation.” He said voice soft but his tone was decisive, his eyes locked intensely on hers. “Do you understand?” He asked and she felt patronized at his question and she shook her head.

“I can’t accept that, Harry.” Y/N responded. “In order to rebuild the trust that’s been broken we need to talk-”

“Well trust me now when I tell you that discussing Chloe and I is not something that will help anything. I won’t talk to her again. It’s all in the past and it’s not going to make a difference now so get it out of your head. Please.” He implored.

“It’ll make a difference to me. Because I need to be sure that this is not going to happen again. And I can hope all I want, but if there is something, some part of you that is still…vulnerable to her-”

“We’re done having this conversation.” He interrupted and walked around her to leave the bedroom. She followed after him as best as she could, but he was walking fast. She frowned when she saw him getting out of his house shoes and opening the door to the entryway.

“Harry, where are you going?” She asked in a panic.

“Maybe to go fuck Chloe and file for divorce while I’m at it!” He snapped sarcastically and she felt her tears start to fall.

“You’re being really shitty, Harry.” She sniffled, but he was so overwhelmed and he felt like she was pushing him and pressuring him to talk about something that he never intended to open up about with anyone.

“Well that’s what you probably think I’m going to do anyway, isn’t it?” He asked her with a scowl on his face and she shook her head.

“No, Harry! But running off is not going to resolve this issue!”

“Well I don’t want to be here right now with all these people while you accuse me of shit I haven’t even done!”

“I’m not accusing you of anything!” She sighed in frustration as he opened the front door, “Harry, if you leave right now I don’t want you to come back until you’re ready to face this.” She admonished and as she looked into his eyes she searched for any indication that he would soften up but he looked away.

“That’s not going to happen, so you can call me when you decide to just let this one go.” He said lowly and he heard a sob break through her throat before she just stormed off. In his stubbornness he decided to just leave. He groaned and wasn’t discrete in his exit, he slammed the door hard enough that the windows rattled a bit.

*********

Alyssa was coming inside to go to the bathroom when she heard the door slam and she rushed over to the exit and then looked out the window to see Harry stomping over to his car and getting in roughly. So she headed down the hall to the guest room only to hear Y/N sobbing loudly on the other side of the closed door. She bit on her lip nervously and decided to head out and grab Gemma. More than anyone else, she and Gemma had picked up on the recent changes to Harry’s attitude. It was all reminiscent of his time with his ex, Chloe. They had been the ones who were constantly appealing for him to just let the relationship go, to move on, to come back home…but Chloe was so deep in his head, almost thinking for him! She could manipulate him in ways that were so sinister. And god, she really hoped that Harry hadn’t been stupid enough to have seen her or sleep with her, but whatever this was, it was bad.

“Gem, can you come here for a minute?”

“Where the hell is Harry with our beers?” Her dad asked and she groaned.

“I’ll get ‘em…” Alyssa said and headed off to the kitchen to grab the beers while Gemma made her way inside.

“Do you need help with something?”

“Harry stormed out and Y/N is sobbing in the bedroom.” She said and Gemma frowned. “Can you check on her. I’ll be right there.” She said and Gemma hurried off. Alyssa then made an excuse to get everyone to go home or go hang out at the pub, which is what they all agreed on. Gemma then came back out and shared a look with Aly that told her that whatever this was needed their immediate attention, so she asked Skye to leave the car and she’d just get him from the pub before they went home and he agreed and so they all headed off and that left Aly and Gemma and Y/N in the house.

“Did you talk to her?” Aly asked as she served Y/N a glass of water.

“No, she said to give her a minute to calm down before she wanted to talk about it.” Gemma said and Aly nodded before heading back to her bedroom.

*********

“Hey guys.” Y/N sniffled as she let them in. Alyssa offered the water glass and she took it and drank some down before setting it down on the bedside table and then just sitting on the bed.

“Where did my brother go?” Gemma asked.

“I really don’t know…” she sighed as she rubbed at her eyes, “And I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” She confessed and the two women before her nodded, encouraging her to tell them what was going on. “Ummm, so like about three weeks ago we had a little argument over Harry saying he was feeling trapped at home. He was like bored out of his mind and was like trying to get me to do more stuff with him and he basically just wanted to have some fun together before the baby came. But like, I’m just achey and tired all the time and won’t be able to keep up, you know how he is.” She explained and they both chuckled and nodded, “But he had gone off to the gym to just get the need to be active out of his system and like…he was gone for hours.” She explained, “Later that night he was expecting a text from Eddie, but then when I went to go see the message another came in at the same time and I accidentally opened that text and it was from his ex-girlfriend, Chloe and it was…sketchy.” She said and both Gemma and Alyssa sighed in disappointment.

“So he’s been…seeing her?” Gemma asked and Y/N nodded firmly once.

“For the past three weeks.” Y/N confirmed. “Like…I wanted to bring up that text to him because they way she wrote it, it was like insinuating that they had…ummm-”

“HE DID NOT.” Gemma stated with a frown.

“I don’t think he did, but she just wanted to make it seem that way.” Y/N explained.

“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s a fucking lunatic! Like completely mad.” Alyssa said and Y/N sighed.

“Yeah, she’s not well…” she agreed, “Well, anyway he deleted the text message before I could ask him about it. He never saved the number so I assumed that if anything had happened it was a one time thing and I decided that I could make peace with that. But there were more texts through the weeks and then he just started deleting them I assume because they suddenly stopped, but he’d always be gone and like he’s just not been himself.” She explained.

“Yeah, I called him out on the drinking earlier and he got so defensive.” Gemma said and Y/N sighed.

“Right, well I misplaced my phone and I asked him for his to call myself and he got really weird about me having his phone. And when he finally gave it over he had changed the password, which is strange because we’ve never been secretive with that, you know? And he…he said Archie had downloaded too many games on it so he decided to change it.” Gemma scoffed when Y/N shared that and she shrugged. “I really was just going to look for my phone but then that happened and I got suspicious so I…I called her to ask her if anything was going on because I’d rather hear it from someone I don’t know than him, you know?”

“What did she say?” Aly asked.

“Well she first pretended that she had no idea he was married and then confirmed that they’d been sleeping together. But she was being a bit inconsistent so I know she’s lying about that, but he’s been spending a lot of time with her. Harry was at the door and overheard I think, but when he came in he told me he was just being nice and trying to listen to her problems. Which I genuinely believe he was trying to be nice, but the woman is obsessed with him and clearly has ulterior motives! And he like started to defend her or whatever and I was just trying to tell him that like…if nothing bad was going on then he didn’t have to hide it and lie about it, you know? It’s just the ease at which he was willing to lie for her that’s really bothering me.” She explained with concern.

“Well of course he lied about it. There’s an unspoken rule that we don’t talk about her. Ever. She’s the reason he was a fucking mess! But he literally worshipped the ground she shat on and nothing could ever make him see what it was that she was doing to him.” Aly explained and Gemma snorted on a laugh and Y/N giggled as well at Aly’s chosen expression. “He knew that if any of us found out that he was seeing her again that we would interfere and give him hell for it. That’s why he lied.” Alyssa said with certainty and Gemma nodded.

“OK, so obviously this is…a lot more of a sensitive situation than I thought. Like I knew his previous relationships weren’t great, he’d shared that much, but this is…more than just bad I think? I mean, he tried to apologize but I told him that we needed to talk about what exactly happened that made him feel like he needed to lie before I could properly forgive him and move on from it. Like I don’t want to forgive him and next time he’s struggling he falls into her lap again, you know? Like clearly she knows how to get to him and he’s still susceptible to her! And that’s when he got angry. He said that I wasn’t going to get an explanation and to just take the apology and like…I don’t know, maybe I pushed him too far?” She sniffled.

“Bull!” Gemma cut in, “He needs to explain himself!”

“I agree.” Aly said and Y/N sighed.

“Well Harry doesn’t feel like he needs to. He just said he doesn’t want to revisit it and to just trust that he won’t talk to her again. But like…I saw how she got in his head and just the difference over the last few weeks, I mean, it’s not normal or healthy and that’s when he really got pissed and started to leave and I asked him where he was going and he said-” she stopped as her tears started to blur her vision again and Gemma and Aly frowned, “H-he said that m-maybe he would go and fuck Chloe or ummm…file for divorce s-since that’s what I was assuming he was doing anyway…” she cried and the girls literally gasped upon hearing this. “And I got angry and said if he walked out that I didn’t want him home until he was ready to talk about it and then he said that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he’d wait for me to call him when I’ve decided to let it go.” She started to cry again and Gemma just hugged her and glanced over at Aly with apprehension.

“I’m really sorry.” She hummed and Y/N just sighed through her tears.

“Like I want to work through this, but I don’t know what I’m truly up against, you know? And like, I didn’t know she was his ex until I called her today and just…the things she said about him were so hurtful and like…I just can’t for the life of me understand why he would choose to interact with someone like that and then defend them like that!?” She said in frustration.

“Well, I know I’m his sister and I love him to death, but this is just the tip of the iceberg of his ugly side if Chloe is involved.” She said and Y/N pulled back and frowned, “Harry was with her for four years. I don’t know what went on in the relationship because he was so far removed from us then, but I know that it wasn’t anything good. That relationship destroyed him. He was already going through so much but that just made it worse and like…as much as he avoided us, we also started to avoid him because he was…awful and mean to everyone when we would even try to understand what was going on with them. We hadn’t spoken for almost a year when I reached out to him again.” She confessed and Y/N sighed.

“I told him he needed to see a therapist after that was over.” Aly said and Gemma nodded.

“I don’t think he ever did.” Y/N said and they sighed, “Like…he’s done a lot of the work himself and like…not that it hasn’t worked, he’s a completely different person even than the version of him I first met. But obviously he works on just what he sees he needs to work on. But like, she knows how to work him and he’s so convinced that she doesn’t affect him.”

“That’s not new…he’s always been in denial about that.” Alyssa said and Y/N wiped her tears away.

“What if he really does what he said and stays away until I change my mind about this? The baby’s coming soon and I can’t do this without him. But I also feel like, if I cave on this…it’s a mistake and I feel like he’s still vulnerable to her and that he will go back the next time something gets difficult. And if something this small had him like this I’m sure that with something bigger she’d somehow manage to turn him against me. I can’t live everyday on edge wondering when is the day that she’s completely won him over and he leaves me!” She expressed sadly with so much frustration bubbling inside of her.

“I know it’s not nearly the same thing as having Harry backing you, but we’re here for you and we’ve got your back on this.” Alyssa said kindly.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Gemma agreed as she gave her a little squeeze.

“Thank you guys. Everyone else didn’t hear the commotion right?”

“No.” Gemma assured.

“Good. The last thing I need is your mom, gran, and Julie ganging up on him when he’s already in a fragile state…” she sighed, “Thank you guys for listening. I felt like maybe I had been really unreasonable with my request to just understand what happened.”

“Not at all unreasonable, it’s just the Chloe-effect.” Alyssa said before making an icky face and Y/N giggled. “Now, I have a serious question for you, Y/N. Are you in need of a pedicure? Because I think we just need to get out of the house for the rest of the afternoon. Help you calm down a bit? Maybe Harry has an epiphany while we’re out.” Alyssa said.

“And if he doesn’t?” She asked.

“Well then at least your feet will be soft and your toenails a cute color.” Gemma said and Y/N smiled.

“Let’s do it then.” She agreed.

***********

Harry had taken a long drive to just think and ended up in Brighton, he had a lot of fond memories there. He didn’t want to talk about Chloe ever again and he could admit that he made a mistake in entertaining her again but he didn’t want to delve into it. He literally hadn’t realized how far down the rabbit hole he’d gone until everything piled up on him today. He was afraid to talk to Y/N about that part of his life because he felt that it would maybe change her view or opinion of him and taint their marriage, if they even had one anymore. Because sure, he was a grouch when he’d met her, but that was tame compared to the person he’d been when he was with Chloe. A part of that came out earlier when he’d said all those awful things to her when she was trying to stop him from leaving. And well, the moment he uttered all of those hurtful things to her he felt so ashamed of himself that he just had to go. She deserved more than a man who had so easily strayed away. She deserved more than someone who deceived her and said hurtful things to her just to get her to lay off.

He was terrified to go back home because he was afraid to prove Chloe right…that he wasn’t capable of loving and nurturing a marriage and much less a child. But whether he and Y/N had anything anymore after this stunt he pulled one thing was certain, he needed to sever all ties with Chloe because even he could recognize that everything started going to shit the second she was back in his life. Once again, he had been seeking her validation. He had intended to just be nice to her, he wasn’t sure at what point the tables turned but they had. He had somehow started out being the one in control and suddenly he wasn’t anymore and it terrified him that he hadn’t even realized it. He needed to just let that go for good, so he dialed her number and she picked up after a few rings.

“Harry, what happened?” She asked him right away.

“Just a huge fucking fight with Y/N…I fucked up and left instead of…giving her that explanation she asked for.” He explained sadly.

“Well, I get why you’re feeling so down all the time now! Your wife’s a real fucking piece of work.” she chuckled.

“Chloe, why would you lie to her about what was going on with us?” He asked and she sighed.

“Because I can see how miserable you are with her, Harry! And I also know you’re too much of a coward to end it. But you have to admit to yourself that this was all a mistake! Because that’s what this whole thing with her is, a mistake. I know you think that you’re cut out for this kind of thing, but you’re not!”

“And why is that?” He asked with a frown.

“Because you’re so… damaged, Harry! How can you be a father when you’re like this?” She questioned. “And I mean this with all the care in my heart, H. I know you think you’re doing better but look at how easily you came back to me! You asked me out, Harry and I accepted. Obviously, deep down you’re not over me and you’re unhappy with your life choices.”

“What? I wanted to catch up and hopefully get some closure, just the one time! But then you started showing up at the gym every day and texting me and asking to see me and talk to me about your problems and your life and I…I felt for you! I just wanted to be a decent person and help you, Chloe. But I…I won’t lose myself in you again.” He stated firmly.

“And do you really think you have anything with her after doing something like this?” She asked him, “Huh? While she’s off somewhere pissed at you, I’m here on the phone with you, because I need you as much as you need me, otherwise you would’ve grown a pair and stayed with her to fix things.” She said.

“This call isn’t for me to vent about the argument I had with my wife. I’m only phoning you to tell you that we’re done. All you ever did was tear me down and make me believe that because I was hurting and not being a great person then that I wasn’t worthy of all of the good things life has to offer. If you loved me as much as you said you did, why would you do that? Why would you make me feel like I wasn’t worthy of love when I desperately needed it the most?” He questioned and she didn’t respond, “Y/N loves me despite my mistakes, which I can assure you are many, and she loved me despite my hurt. She loved me when I was a miserable and broken shell of myself. She helped bring me back and I will love her eternally and be grateful to her for that forever. And I have everything I want and everything I need with Y/N. I really do wish you the best but-”

“How dare you?” She questioned angrily, “You’re just a good for nothing piece of shit, you’d be so lucky t-” he just hung up the phone and took a deep breath before just blocking her number and it was liberating. He was relishing in his small victory when a text from his mum came in.

Upon reading it he immediately forgot all about what he was thinking and called Y/N. He sighed when her phone rang out and then he tried again and no answer. He didn’t even think twice before he ran off to his car. He needed to make sure she was OK. It was nearly a two hour drive and he had tried her again and Alyssa and then Gemma and Skye and no one was picking up. He was about to call his mum back and ask, but then he’d have to explain that he had actually left and that would open up even more issues.

He got home in record time and the house appeared dark. He rushed inside and looked around and well, her phone was on the bedside table…maybe they had to take her to the hospital and they left in a rush. But they would’ve called him…he groaned and just as he was about to head out again he heard laughing at the door and he rushed to the entry way and saw and heard her, with Gemma and Alyssa. He sighed in relief as they opened the entry way and their smiles slowly fell when they saw him.

“Oh thank god, you’re alright.” He said and she looked at him with confusion, “Mum texted something about a panic attack.” He explained.

“Oh, that was probably from what I told them to get them to leave.” Aly cut in and he nodded.

“Right, well are you alright for now?” Gemma asked her quietly, but he still heard her.

“Yeah. Thank you for all the pampering this afternoon and for taking me to the Barbie movie.” She said with a smile to her and Aly who both hugged her tight. They didn’t fail to glare at him while they hugged her and were soon being escorted to the door. Harry just sat at the staircase as they said goodbye and soon Y/N was coming back in and slipping out of her sandals.

“I’m glad you’re alright. I was worried.” He said as he stood.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She assured and just walked past him and to the bedroom. He waited a bit before he decided to just follow after her, but as soon as he made it into the hallway he saw the last bit of the door close and then heard the lock click. He swore that it absolutely broke his heart to have her reject him this way, but he deserved it. Just seeing the disappointment in her eyes made him want to fix this. He walked up to the door and heard her shuffling around the room a bit.

“Ummm, I’m gonna go sleep up stairs then.” He informed and hesitated a bit before speaking up again, “I know I was…a total fucking asshole today. I’m so sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have reacted or left like that. I just…get defensive when it comes to this situation… And I just want you to know that I only love you.” He spoke through the door and just a second later she spoke up, her voice muffled by the door between them as well.

“And I love you too.” She responded softly before he saw the room go dark from the crack under the door. It wasn’t all that late but he’s sure that she was emotionally drained and possibly physically exhausted as well. He went up the stairs and got showered and then into bed.

Harry was so ashamed of himself and everything that came with those horrible four years of his life with Chloe. And he did want to be good enough for Y/N, but evidently there was still a small part of him that believed that he wasn’t and never would be. It’s not like all of the horrible shit he did when he was with Chloe just went away! He felt bad about it every time a memory resurfaced. And the one thing that should’ve made him feel better, but actually made him feel even more like shit was that Y/N still loved him. After everything he’d put her through today, not to mention the last few weeks of deception and even betrayal to some extent, she still made a point to tell him that she loved him. It was crazy to him…he would never withhold his love from her either, but he felt that she provided the good and all he did was hurt her and disappoint her. Even when their paths first crossed she had extended respect and kindness to him when he was awful to her. Maybe if he just explained to her why he was so worried about talking about this she would give him more time to figure out how to share this stuff about his past and how that led to what happened over the last couple weeks. As much as he wanted to avoid talking about it, fixing things with Y/N was far more important than his shame over his past.

With that new priority at the front of his mind Harry sat up from the bed and got into his slippers, he headed to the stair case and when he reached it he stopped at the top of it when he saw Y/N was on her third step up. They both just looked at each other for a moment before she spoke up.

“Are you really gonna make me go all the way up there after the day I’ve had?” She inquired and his lips split in a small smile and he proceeded to hurry down the steps. With each step he took down his eyes flooded with his tears and as soon as she was within arm’s reach he pulled her close as he sniffled.

“I love you so much, baby.” He sighed in relief at the feeling of her being in his arms again and more than that, she hugged him back.

“I know you do. And I love you too.” She assured him and he pulled back to look at her.

“I don’t think I deserve it sometimes.” He confessed through a sniffle and she frowned.

“We all make mistakes-”

“Well I’m the only one fucking up here and you deserve more than that-”

“I’m not perfect by any means. I lied about…the hot Cheetos and the Jaffa cakes.” She said and he chuckled despite his tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Yeah, that’s actually far worse than what I lied about.” He said sarcastically and she smiled up at him. She was hopeful that he was ready to share what had happened. She just wanted to understand him. “Ummm, can we sit to talk?”

“Please.” she said and he chuckled and helped her down and to the couch just in the next room over. He flicked on the lamp they had in there to give the space a nice warm glow and she got comfortable on the couch, her back to the armrest as she brought up her legs up over his and hugged a pillow to her body. Harry sat beside her, his hands on her legs and stroked over them softly as he collected his thoughts for a moment.

“Ummm…first off, again, I am so sorry for lying and hiding things from you. For continuing to see Chloe. For the way I’ve been acting the last few weeks, but more importantly for all of the awful things I’ve done today.” He apologized with a small frown, “I will never let myself forget what happened here, like…” he swallowed thickly, “Obviously it’s not the person I want to be.” He finished, “But in order to explain why I am so…vulnerable to Chloe’s shit…I ummm, I have to talk about my relationship with her and ummm…” He exhaled nervously and when his eyes met hers she could see the anxiety and fear and sadness in them, his hands even started trembling a bit and it absolutely broke her heart, “Baby, I mean this with my whole heart! I want to be able t-to talk about it but I can’t talk about this with you yet. And it’s not a you thing, I honestly have never talked about it properly with anyone.” He explained to her and her frown deepened upon hearing this. He’d been carrying this around all by himself for all of these years? He was certainly stronger than she had given him credit for.

“Being with her, those were the worst years of my life and I’ve learned to just accept what it was, you know? Like I can’t change the past and as much as it is what it is ummm…it still…it still hurts a lot if I think about it too much. And like… I wasn’t the best person when I was with her and like…” he sighed as he just worked up the courage to speak. He started anxiously picking at the sides of his fingers and she reached out and grabbed his hands, forcing him to look up at her, “Baby, I guess I’m afraid that if you hear how awful I was maybe you won’t feel the same about me or even look at me in the same way. I’m so ashamed about that whole part of my life and that’s why it’s hard to explain to you how this happened. But what I can tell you is that…I think a part of her is still like… she’s still in my head.” He frowned and she did as well, nodding in understanding. “And I have tried everything to just stop hearing her voice in there. Like, I’m already hard on myself but like…this is different. It’s like on a whole different level and it really makes me doubt myself. One thing she’d always tell me was that I wasn’t good enough for a family of my own. That because of my intense grief I wasn’t strong enough of a person to have…well, to have what we have together.” He said and Y/N shook her head in disbelief with a pout.

“She really said that to you?” She asked and he couldn’t bear to look at her as he nodded.

“Yeah. All the time. And I would see the way I’d treat my friends and my family and how…shitty I was and so I…believed it. I believed what she told me and I had made peace with it.” He chuckled sadly, “It was the reason why she “couldn’t be faithful” to me,” he said with air quotes, “Because I wasn’t good enough for a real committed relationship and I think that…when I do something wrong or I…hurt your feelings, like when I told you I felt trapped,” he said and she nodded, “I think ummm…it’s like a confirmation bias, you know? Like everything she said about me was right. Like I wasn’t built for this. Like I don’t…deserve it.” he explained and Y/N’s heart was breaking for him, “I hope this is enough o-of an explanation for you, but that’s all I can talk about right now without feeling like…basically like she’s won. Again.” He explained softly. Just the idea of him feeling like Chloe had won made Y/N’s blood boil in a way she had never felt before. She would equate it to the wrath of god. She couldn’t believe someone would be so cruel on purpose.

“Look at me, H.” She said quietly, his eyes met hers again with some uncertainty. But Harry was relieved that she wasn’t looking at him with pity, like he was broken. There was just love and compassion as she looked at him, “Look at what we have together and how far you’ve come from that! She didn’t win then and she hasn’t won now. You have.” She said to him and Harry just felt the lump in his throat bob violently before he started to sob.

“And yes, what you’ve shared is enough for now and you’re enough for me. More than! Always.” She offered a soft and encouraging smile, “And I do forgive you, baby. And your family forgives you too. And look, that’s all good and well, but I think you might still be so affected by all of this because…you haven’t forgiven yourself.” She explained and his eyes softened as he choked on another sob, “What you said earlier about not forgetting about what happened, I agree that we need to sometimes remind ourselves of past instances where we went about things the wrong way. Like we can’t erase mistakes, they help us learn and do better, right? But it shouldn’t be this thing where you’re holding your mistakes over your head all the time, baby. I love you so much and so does your family, none of us are ever going to hold your shortcomings over your head. So why should you?” She asked him and he shrugged as he gasped for air. “Oh, come here, my love.” She tutted and he just surged forward and nestled into her side as best as he could. “I love you so much.” She said softly.

Sure, he had made things right with everyone else he had hurt and it was enough for a while but he had never gotten around to making things right with himself. And ultimately the forgiveness and acceptance that he needed the most to be able to heal fully was his own, but he wouldn’t be able to do that alone.

“I love you.” He hiccuped, “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You mean everything to me. You’re my whole life. You have to know that. I’m sorry.” He whispered over and over as she just held him for several minutes until his crying calmed down enough that he could properly breathe again.

“Baby, when I say this to you it’s just a suggestion and like…I want you to seriously consider it.” She said and he hummed, “H-have you ever thought of meeting with a therapist to like…work through all of this?” She asked and he pulled back and nodded as he sniffled.

“Yeah, I’ve made so many appointments but ummm…I always flake out because I think that…that they’ll get a look at me and be like how does some scary looking guy let another person fuck him up so badly? Like why couldn’t I have just left sooner or like…seen through her shit, you know?”

“Well, first off it’s no one’s place to judge you, specially a therapist. But also, when I said Chloe is not sane, I mean that, like medically.” She said and Harry chuckled and bit through his tears and she smiled, “It really wasn’t an insult to her, like just from the ten minutes I spoke with her it was clear that she has issues of her own to resolve. I’m sure she has the capacity to be a great person, like all people do! And I’m sure that the version of her you first met and interacted with and even…fell in love with wasn’t this.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, not really.” He confirmed.

“I mean, maybe she has her own mental illness that she never talked to you about or something in her past that’s made her this way. But like…if it’s something serious and chronic, like a personality disorder, for example…if you’re not emotionally equipped to handle that, which most people who aren’t trained professionals aren’t, it can be extremely traumatic to have people like that in your life, H. And I will acknowledge that you’ve done a fantastic job of healing on your own and regaining your light and your nurturing and loving nature! Trust me, I see it every single day, baby, and I’m so proud of you for it.” She reassured him, “We all love how hard you love us and value us all, but I think it’s time to do that for yourself too. I mean, just in light of being parents now it’s something to…to consider.” She said and he nodded, “Like…I’ll probably need some therapy too after the fallout with my family. Like, I think about it and I feel so angry at them and I feel…betrayed by them and I want to get back at them somehow.” She explained, “But I don’t want our baby to grow up and see that unresolved anger and spite towards them. Like, obviously what they’ve done has hurt me unimaginably and who knows how long this beef’ll last with them…” she sighed, “But like, it’s OK to feel hurt, but I don’t want to walk around for years being angry and bitter at them. It’s just not healthy, you know?”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He said softly.

“You deserve to heal from this, baby.” She said and he nodded. They were quiet for a few seconds as she let him process all of this.

“Baby? D-do you think if I do…therapy that they’d let you stay with me until I feel comfortable doing it alone?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I think that shouldn’t be an issue.” She assured. “Though with the baby coming soon it might be a little tough.”

“We’ll just do it online for a bit then.” He said and she smiled and nodded, “Can I kiss you?” He asked and she nodded.

“Of course.” She said and he was careful and he kind of straddled her and leaned in to kiss her lips gently before pulling her into his side and getting comfortable beside her as best as they could with their limited space not he couch.

“You know, you’re the complete opposite of Chloe.” He said softly, “I think that’s why at first I hated you.”

“Hated?!” She gasped playfully and he smiled and shrugged a bit.

“If not hate, it was pretty close to it.” He confessed and she sniggered a bit.

“If I was the opposite, why would you hate me?” She questioned in some confusion.

“Because ummm…you weren’t her. Like I wasn’t in love with her anymore but I did miss the good bits.” He said softly, “I think that first day, after we had that little tiff and then you came back in and apologized? That just threw me off my orbit.” He said through a chuckle, “And I felt like a fucking child…like I didn’t know anything about human interactions. No one had been accountable for their shit and apologized to me in…fuck I couldn’t even remember. It made me angry that you felt I needed an apology because I felt like… I didn’t deserve it so I was a dick to you. Like…almost as if I needed to prove to you why I didn’t deserve your niceties or an apology. And down the line, it’s like, I wanted to see your ugly side but your reactions to my antagonizations were always the opposite of what I expected and…wanted to some extent. But that really shone a light on how badly I was being treated before and seeing you growing and flourishing and everyone liking you from the get-go…for me it was like…everything I’d ever wanted and wished for was being given to someone else. All that support and affection and friendship. Even I liked you, but I was jealous. And then you were so nice to me when I got stood up and it…gave me hope again.” He explained to her and she hummed in acknowledgment, letting him get it all out there.

“That’s when I decided to stop dwelling on what I had endured and just let something good happen to me because I really needed it. I mean, I had no idea what would come of me letting you into my life. Maybe it was just going to be another lesson and loss…” he chuckled, “But letting you in was the best decision of my life, whether it was short-lived or long-haul, I just knew that I would never be the same after you, in a good way.” He smiled and she did as well. “I love you in ways I never knew were possible, even more so now that you’re carrying our little boy, I mean…” he inhaled sharply to prevent himself from crying again but he couldn’t help it and whimpered on a sob before speaking again, “I’m sorry for taking what we have for granted.” He sniffled, “This is really the most special thing two people can do together. And it’s not lost on me that…that I have to prove myself to you now and earn back the trust that I broke. But I promise you that I will work hard every single day to show you two that I’m the person you’ll need me to be.”

“You already do, baby.” She assured him, “And we all get in our heads or make mistakes sometimes. And I want you to know that I don’t expect perfection from you. I just want you to try your best and I’ll try my best.” She said with a smile, “Saw this thing from Brené Brown once about how she and her husband check on each other when they reconvene after their days.” She said and he hummed. “They have a rule that between the both of them they need to make 100% and they have like a limit for what’s passing. So say 80%. Like if one of us had a super shitty day, we focus on taking care of that person and our family. Like maybe we get takeout instead, or do the laundry the next day…whatever it be that we need to put aside, we put it aside and prioritize caring for the partner who is struggling the most.” She explained. “And if both of our scores are less than 80 combined s’the same concept, we just do what we need to do to look after ourselves and put everything else aside.”

“I really like that.” He said and she nodded.

“Me too. And like…I feel like maybe I’m a bit too emotionally attached to your grandma because of what happened with mine, you know?” She said and he nodded, “And I mean, I’m also starting to just think a lot about delivering the baby and sometimes I feel like…what did I get myself into…” she said through a little chuckle.

“Oh, as do I.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah…I’m terrified.” She admitted, “I also feel like maybe I might not be cut out for this sometimes and it’s not like I regret it, but sometimes I wonder if we moved into this too soon or…I don’t know, I just get in my head.” She explained and he frowned upon hearing this, “So I think, we’ve both been…struggling on our own for a while and not really communicating that to not worry the other. When in reality we’re supposed to be in this together and share the load and the worries and the joys. So I’m more than willing to just…have this last month just be us working this out together and preparing for our baby together.” She said and he smiled.

“Really?” He asked and she hummed, “And this has nothing to do with the fact that gran’s cleaned you out at gin every day last week?” He asked teasingly and she laughed.

“Well, just a bit.” She admitted and he chuckled, “But mostly because I’ve missed you the last few weeks.” She confessed, “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“I’ve missed you too. I have one condition though.”

“OK. Name it.”

“No more knitting. Please.” Harry pleaded with a small laugh.

“Fine…was planning on making you some slippers but-”

“I’m not an OAP! I don’t need knitted slippers. Also, they have no traction, so unless you want me to die tumbling down the stairs or something, no thanks.” He laughed and she giggled as well.

“Yeah, definitely not. So no knitting. I also have a condition.”

“Alright, name it and it’s done.”

“Brilliant! You’re going to tell your grandma about it just being us from here on out.” She said and he scoffed through a humorless laugh.

“Absolutely not. I can’t hurt her feelings like that…no way.”

“Well I can’t either! We’re besties!”

“We’ll draw straws.” He suggested.

“Baby, I’m pregnant. In such a delicate state, you can’t put such a stressful task on me. Besides, I already have to do the most grueling and difficult task bestowed upon a human being in just five weeks…so, I think you should take one for team Styles.” She said and he sighed loudly.

“You’re pulling that card are you?” He asked and she hummed smugly as she nodded and he chuckled, “That’s so mean.”

“I will while I can. Every. Single. Time. And you can take that to the bank.” She smirked.

“Fine…I’ll break up with my gran for you but you owe me big time for this…A favor of my choosing at the time of my choosing.”

“OK.” She agreed and he smiled and sighed happily as he relished in the feeling of her beside him once again. She literally was the best person he knew. They had fallen silent for a bit before his voice put an end to the quiet.

“My new passcode is your due date, 1707.” He said softly, “I changed it 2 weeks ago actually, before all of this because Archie really did download like 10 games and also managed to purchase like fifty pounds worth of something on one of them.” He clarified and she smiled. “And…Chloe’s first text actually has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Which is that we biked to SOHO, on those electric bikes? After we’d grabbed a coffee.” He said and she started to giggle, “Also we both happened to attend the same indoor cycling class…that’s how we saw each other again. So after an hour of that and then randomly biking to SOHO and back-”

“Pelvic floor and leg pain guaranteed…” Y/N cut in and he nodded, “God, cycling is just the worst.”

“It’s just not for everyone.” He said and she smiled.

“Just for sadomasochists.” She joked and he laughed.

“Should we go to bed?”

“Yeah, baby.” She hummed.

He was so happy they had been able to talk before the day was out. After this experience and conversation with Y/N, Harry mentally decided that he wouldn’t be so scared to communicate with her ever again. It never really went how he imagined it would. He was a classic self-saboteur and over-thinker, so he would picture the worst case scenarios more often than not. But Y/N always put all of her effort to listen and understand him and she was always patient and loving in her responses. She had proven it to him time and time again. She really was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he felt so lucky to be loved by her.

**********

The next day Harry had a conversation with his grandmother when he drove her back to his mum’s house. He came clean about everything and the reason why they needed this time alone together. She was understanding, of course, but did give him a bit of a talking to though. However, she too told him that she loved him when they said goodbye.

In lieu of her being over all day though, they decided to just ask her, his mum, and Julie over for dinner a couple times a week and that had actually been really pleasant. It gave Harry a chance to really brush up on his cooking skills, because Y/N and Julie had him spoiled back in LA. But soon enough he’d have to look after Y/N while she recovered from the baby. And tonight they were having dinner alone, but he decided he’d make her shepherd’s pie with cheesy top. It had been a childhood favorite of his and well, he hadn’t eaten it in nearly 8 years since he had chosen to be a friend and ally to the animals. But as he smelled it coming together he decided to cancel making one with meat substitute for himself and just indulging this time with her.

“Smells fantastic.” She hummed her compliment as she came into the kitchen slowly.

“Thank you, baby. I think you’re really gonna like this one.” He said as he continued washing the things he had used to prepare the dish. She walked behind him and lightly scratched at his back a few times before she passed him and went to the fridge. “What’re you looking for in there? Food’s about to be ready.”

“You had brought some cheese yesterday and I wanted a bit.” She said with a little smile and he chuckled.

“Sorry baby, s’in the food.” He explained and she pouted.

“Alright then…no snack for me.” She mumbled before turning back and walking back over to him.

Harry smiled when she hugged her body around his, her cheek smushed into his back before she kissed it a few times and then smiled, being just a bit of a bother as he tried to finish cleaning up, but he didn’t mind her clinginess.

They had been working really hard to patch up everything form before. Not just him, but her too. Sometime’s he’d find her crying over a new stretch mark or her achey boobs, or just from feeling so physically drained, or nervous about delivering the baby. He had no idea that she had been struggling on her own like this. The first few times she got embarrassed for it, but she still let him be there for her through it. And with him it was more of that fear he had about his ability to be a good father. He’d share his concern and doubts and they’d work through it together like a proper team, and just like that things were on the mend. Truly, being there at every moment, experiencing the way life was just coming into their little baby boy was tethering them to each other in ways that he never knew were possible. It was extraordinary to witness and even on the hard days they never failed to take a moment before bed to just be grateful for the life they had together.

… JULY …

Y/N’s due date was in two weeks and she and Harry had once again taken a drive to the hospital she was supposed to give birth at to really nail down the fastest route possible. She couldn’t really move so much now so they just went to the class to bounce on the yoga balls and socialize with the other people and to do the meditations and affirmations portion of it all. Harry could see the way it improved her confidence so he made a point to not miss the class. Being there he’d also started to make friends with some of the other non-birthing partners in the class. He’d even met up for lunch with a few of them once already and planned to continue nurturing those friendships. And well, he knew he could also count on Skye and Nathan to talk about these things if he ever had doubts. He loved how supportive Y/N was of him also needing to build his connections with other young and new fathers.

“I think the route we took yesterday was better.” Harry said as they pulled into their street.

“This one seemed shorter, no?”

“Technically yes, but I’ve noticed that they do construction at night and it gets backed up. So if the baby comes in the night it would be best to go the other way. We’d be taking more main streets, so the traffic lights will be in our favor.” He pointed out and she hummed.

“Good, strategic thinking, Mr. Styles.”

“Thank you, I try.” He smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him, baby.” He said with a wide grin.

“Neither can I! I just…I want to hold his little hand. He’s been a good baby so far, not throwing any crazy ragers in here.” She said and Harry nodded through a chuckle.

“Right. Mum said I was pretty even tempered until I was a toddler. Do you know if you were?” He asked her, glancing over to her quickly.

“Not too sure.” She responded. “I’ve been thinking about my parents a lot.” She said and he reached for her hand and she offered a tight lipped smile. Harry knew this was a very difficult and painful subject for her to broach.

“Yeah? With the baby?”

“Yeah.” She confirmed, “I wish they were happy for us. For me…” she said glancing up at him quickly and he nodded. “Ughh, I don’t even know why it bothers me anymore!” She groaned in frustration, “It’s not like they’ve been present for the last 6 years of my life.” She mumbled.

“It’s your parents, baby. Of course it’s going to bother you.” Harry reasoned. “I know you don’t want contact but maybe if you’re up for it we can send a Christmas card for the holidays you know? That way they can see you’re doing good and also see Charlie.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I don’t want them to ever tell me I never tried, you know?”

“Exactly. I think it’s important that we do things like that. To show them that they’re still on our minds but that also, we’re doing really well. Just the right balance of considerate and petty.” He said with a little grin.

“Yeah, that’s so true.” She giggled. “I’m curious, what do you think will be your greatest strength as a dad?” She asked him and this made Harry smile as he thought about it.

“Hmmm…I don’t know…” he wondered aloud, “I haven’t thought of it.” He said honestly, “Maybe…ummm…” he said again and when she glanced over at him he was slightly frowning now. “Dunno, can’t think of anything.” He finally said lowly, as if disappointed in himself for not knowing and she was quick to scoff at his self doubt.

“Well I’ve thought about it a lot.” She said with a smile as they turned onto their street. “You’re really great when things get challenging, which I’m sure they will at some point, so I think you’d be the one who remains calm more than me. You’re also very patient, which I know will come in handy for…well the rest of our lives.” She said and he smiled, “You’re also really good at admitting your mistakes and doing what needs to be done to correct them, which is huge! I think responsibility and accountability are excellent traits to model for kids. You’re also the one with self-discipline and have far more structure than I ever will, and kids thrive on structure; you’re definitely going to be the parent that makes rules fun. You’re also very intelligent and a fast learner, and so open to change, so I think you will adjust a lot faster than I will to a baby. You can be fun and silly, which I think is one of my favorite things about you, you know when to be and when not to be.” She pointed out.

“I also think that the way you show your love is also very admirable and wholistic. Like you’re very adaptable with it based on the person’s needs. So if that means doing something for someone, carving out some time in your day for something, or just giving a cuddle when needed you’d do it. Literally, you’re so supportive, you do whatever it takes to show someone you love that you care about them.” She said, “Ughhh, you’re gonna be the best dad, H.” She said with a big smile as he parked the car in front of their garage and turned to her with a big smile as well.

“Wow, thank you. I got a little scared for a moment there…” he confessed, “Maybe I am very cut out for this.”

“Oh certainly.” She nodded.

“And you? What do you think you’d be best at?”

“I think I’m very patient as well, maybe not as much as you, but it’s up there.”

“I mean, you deal with me so I’d say you’re excellent at patience.” He said and she giggled.

“OK, well that…I also think I’m very good at empowering others and encouraging independence. So I think I’d be able to teach Charlie how to be capable and self-sufficient. I think I’m a great listener and very supportive. And I think that I’m good at communicating, so teaching Charlie right from wrong, boundaries, expectations…and of course, I think I would be able to love him wholeheartedly and unconditionally, which in the end is really the most important thing we could do for him, I think. I’ll definitely have to learn how to be a bit more firm from you, but other than that I think we’ve got mostly all the bases covered!” She said gleefully.

“I love you so fucking much.” Harry said with a loving smile.

“I love you too.” She hummed back happily and then her smile dropped a bit, “I’ve also been thinking about…like, if…” she exhaled shakily, “Like god forbid something goes…wrong-” She said and Harry’s good mood immediately melted away as he shook his head.

“Don’t even say that, Y/N…Please, Jesus…” He frowned with a disapproving shake of his head. Quite literally rejecting the idea verbally and physically.

“Like…I know it’s awful to think about but you just never know what the future holds and I just…I want you to know that if for any reason you’re faced with a difficult decision I want you to know that I fully trust you to do what you think is best.” Y/N stated as she reached for his hand and he glanced over to her, already feeling anxious at the prospect of anything going wrong. “I just…need you to promise me that you’ll trust your gut and know that I trust you too, with my life, babe. Always.” She said emphatically and he swallowed down that anxiety and nodded.

“OK. I promise.” He agreed solemnly and she offered a tight-lipped smile to him.

“I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. It’s going to be fine, everything looks great, you’ve heard the doctor say it as well. But just…just in case, you know?”

“OK.” He said before bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it before expelling all of the negative thoughts now with a deep exhale.

“I’ve ruined the appetite for lunch, haven’t I?” She said monotonously and Harry’s lips quirked up in the biggest grin ever, “What?” She asked at his sudden shift in mood.

“That was maybe the most British-sounding thing you’ve ever said! It’s exciting!” He chuckled and she groaned.

“Oh god, please stop me before I become one of those people with a fake accent…” she mumbled and he laughed.

“I think you might develop one over time…I mean, if this is your home now a couple things are bound to rub off.” he shrugged with a satisfied little smirk.

“I know that, but just as long as I don’t sound like an idiot…”

“Oh you will for a bit, but we’ll love you just the same.” He assured with a grin and leaned over to kiss her lips despite the little pout on them, “OK, my excellent comedic timing and humor have helped me regain appetite. C’mon, my love.” He said as he unbuckled her seatbelt before undoing his own and hurrying over to help her down from the car.

Their afternoon was pretty quiet and now Y/N was having a nice cool bath before bed. Sure, it wasn’t LA hot, but try carrying around all of the extra weight and tell someone that 77 degrees isn’t scorching hot. Not to mention, their house wasn’t a new build so they didn’t have AC, much to Y/N’s chagrin. If there was anything she missed about LA it was that, even Julie was struggling because she preferred sleeping in the cold. So the next best thing was to just sit in a cool bubble bath for a bit so that she could be refreshed before getting into bed. She was smiling with her eyes closed and her tossed back, relaxing against her bath pillow as Harry’s shower playlist and his singing along filled the bathroom with a joyous sound. Wings’ “She’s My Baby” faded out as he switched off the water and there was a second of silence before the unmistakeable chords of Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” came through the speakers.

“Woo!” Harry exclaimed in excitement and it made Y/N’s eyes flutter open as she laughed at his very enthusiastic reaction to the song. “I believe in miracles…where you frooo-om, you sexy thing? You sexy thing you.” He sang as he sashayed out of the shower and into her line of sight. She glanced over to him, shaking her head and fighting to hold in her laughter because he was stark naked, dancing in the bathroom as he serenaded her, “I believe in miracles since you came alo-o-ong, you sexy thing!” he sang now while pointing straight at her as he approached her; his toned body rolling smoothly as he danced his way over.

“Please be careful, you’re gonna slip!” She warned through her giggling as he came over to the tub.

“Where did you come from, baby?” He sang with a theatrical, inquisitive expression over his face as he tilted her chin up, “How did you know, I needed you? How did you know I needed you so badly? How did you know I’d give my heart-Oh shit!” He gasped, his eyes wide with fear as he slipped in his own puddle of water just as he was trying to step into the tub.

“I’m telling you to be careful!” She laughed as she shook her head and scooted up, hugging her knees to her body as much as she possibly could to let him slide into the bubble bath with her. When she felt his warmth behind her she stretched her legs again and fell back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head against hers.

“Now you’re lying close to me giving it to meee-eee!” He continued singing against her as if he hadn’t almost eaten shit, “I believe in miracles…” he hummed as his hands left her bump and grabbed her thighs, “Where you from, you sexy thing?” He whispered now against the shell of her ear with a grin as his fingers inched towards her inner thighs.

They hadn’t actually done anything physically intimate for her in maybe three months, if not very close to that. And it wasn’t for lack of need, just the mechanics of it were getting weird for Y/N. She was eager to do anything for Harry, who didn’t want to accept unless she would allow him to reciprocate. But she’d always end up convincing him one way or another to at least accept a blowie or even just a hand job because lately his pleasure was enough for her. She just had this like…mental block when it came to her pleasure right now. She couldn’t concentrate enough to come for a lot of reasons. Like one time, they had tried to have sex and he was spooning her and she was starting to get close when the baby started to kick and it just got weird for her.

She obviously knew that physically Harry’s dick and their baby were nowhere near each other, but having both of those things happen simultaneously just killed the mood for her. She felt like they weren’t alone and it just made having an orgasm hard. Like did the baby feel what was going on? Or did all the chemicals her brain released from the pleasure make the baby more active? She had no idea, so she googled it…apparently they did feel something and after learning that it just got harder and harder for her. But did she want it, yes, and badly!

Harry was in a bit of a frisky mood himself. Over the last few weeks that they'd been spending alone, preparing for the baby, he had been experiencing these emotions he wasn't all that familiar with. He felt so possessive and protective of her right now, but in a way that made him lust after her. He knew that she didn’t feel gorgeous and radiant most of the time now, like she had at first, but to him she was the pinnacle of beauty, especially now. He loved how strong and powerful she was in every capacity. He appreciated the new things he learned her body could do and how it adapted and changed as she literally nurtured their son to life. He felt so proud of her, but also of himself. Lately it made him all hot and bothered to know that she was carrying his baby, that he had done this with her, to her. That everyone knew this when they’d go to yoga or out on walks or to run errands together. Y/N was beautiful, anyone with the ability to see it could see that, so when anyone would steal a glance of her and then see her bump while he protectively loomed over her they’d know that she was all his and that just made him feel feral and so fucking cocky.

He’d never given much thought to how real the theory of evolution was, but this innate and almost animalistic need to protect what was his, to show off what he’d done with her, to take care of her and their son, it was instinctual. It came from some unearthed primal part of himself that he didn’t know he had until now. And Harry loved this new side of himself and knowing that his precious and sexy little wife had a breeding kink basically had him simmering all the time. Sure, she was having a hard time orgasming as of late, but as he nipped at her earlobe while his fingers felt the slimy texture of her around as he dipped his fingertip at her opening, he knew that she wanted it badly and he was going to give that to her. He was happy to revisit some of their kinkier preferences to help her surrender to her pleasure.

“Baby…” she whispered as he guided his slicked up finger to her clit and swirled it around it, teasing her just a bit before she wriggled a bit and he took the hint to rub over her sensitive and surely needy little bud. Harry was relishing in the satisfied exhale that had her melting against his body.

“I know it’s been hard, but you’re going to come for me.” He mumbled lowly and she moaned, “Remember before? I’d just keep going until you couldn’t help but come for me? That’s how we’re gonna do this. Fuck, I need to taste you, my love. Need it so bad.” He groaned as his cock started to stiffen up at the idea of getting to lick and lap at all her sensitive spots until she was writhing in pleasure beneath him.

“Fuck, please H.” She sighed breathily and he smiled as he brought his left hand up to her breast.

He was gentle as he squeezed it in his palm and rubbed his thumb over her nipple, back and forth, feeling it growing harder and harder with each rub over it. She was already so sensitive there as her body got closer and closer to her due date. She was just so tender that his touches soon started to overstimulate her sensitive nipple until she was gasping. She could feel her clit throbbing and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to just focus on the pleasure, to not lose that spark that was flickering inside of her.

“Rub your clit f’me.” He instructed as his other hand came to her right breast. Her nipple already peaked from the pleasure she was experiencing, but when he started teasing that one as well she started to spark up. “That’s it, baby. Feel how good it is?” She nodded as she whined out lowly at just how overwhelming it was starting to feel. Her nipples ached and her back was slightly arching into his touch and out of nowhere he pinched them between his thumbs and index fingers. She choked on a groan before he let go and she was panting in relief as her body relaxed against his, “Did it hurt?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, but in a good way.” She responded lowly as two of her fingers swirled and brushed over her clit.

“‘In a good way?’” He teased her haughtily, repeating her own filth back to her, “Made you a wife and a mum, a nice respectable woman, but nothing’s gonna change the fact that you’re a filthy little slut for me, will it?” He teased and she whimpered as he pinched at her nipples again, “I know she’s still in there, my favorite little freak. That perfect little cum slut that took every fucking load, like a good girl.”

“Harry-” she swallowed thickly as she felt her body starting to burn from the inside out. Wincing at the pressure being applied to her sore nipples once again.

“And look at you now, pregnant with my baby for being such a desperate and needy little thing…” he mused, “And you’re as beautiful as the day I first saw you and then some.” He smiled, “Fuck, it drives me insane knowing that I did this to you. You’re all mine, aren’t you?” He asked and she nodded, “Say it. Tell daddy, you’re his.”

“Yes, I’m all yours, daddy.” She whimpered as her legs started to tense up as her pleasure increased.

“Yes, you are. Always gonna take such good care of you, my love.” he promised. “I’m gonna need you to get out of your pretty, little head and let me do just that.” He purred.

Before she knew it, he was helping her onto their bed so that she was reclining against the headboard and he kissed her sloppily before dropping down to his tummy and kissing in between her legs. His tongue was flicking at her clit over and over and over again. He was aiming to get her from sharp inhales to animalistic moans. How she had missed his mouth…she obviously hadn’t been in the mood to maintain herself as religiously as before and she knew Harry didn’t mind, but she was a bit embarrassed about it too. But feeling his mouth and tongue zealously working to get her off she threw out all the shame she felt. He really didn’t seem to care one bit.

“Please use your fingers.” She mumbled and she moaned in relief when he fit two of his long, thick digits into her entrance. He expertly massaged her walls with them, finding and stimulating her internal pleasure points before curling his fingers up and settling at her g-spot. It had been so long that she almost immediately started to lose it. She was so sensitive and eager for an orgasm. She wished she could properly see him, but the bulge of her belly was mostly in the way, she couldn’t even comfortably grab his hair or head, this caused for her legs to kick and writhe as she had no other way to express her pleasure. “Oh my god, baby! I’m so close!” She gasped and he moaned against her pussy before gently sucking at her clit until her legs were trembling and she was coming undone with a scream of his name. “Fuck Harry!” She wailed as he kept going despite her sensitivity. Her head was thrown back and she was whimpering at the overstimulation as he refused to come to a stop. Soon the torture morphed back into pleasure as she surrendered herself to the idea that Harry was set on making up for lost time right now.

“Oh my god, don’t stop…please, don’t stop!” She whispered breathlessly as her fingers dug into the bed covers until her knuckles were white. Harry’s moans seemed to be reverberating through her entire body as his fingers plunged deep into her and fucked her sweet spot until once again, she was crying out as her orgasm crashed over her. Rolling her in beautiful currents of pleasure. His continuous movements were drawing out the delicious, ticklish feeling that was bursting from her tummy through her body. “Mmm, that’s so good.” She hummed as he started to just lap over her clit, gradually coming to a slow to ease her out of it. Her breathing was ragged as the aftershocks of her orgasm caused her legs to twitch and tingle.

“You alright there?” He asked smugly as he kissed her inner thigh.

“More than. Wow, thank you.” She giggled breathily and he smiled before pressing himself up and leaning over her to kiss her lips quickly.

“Can I reciprocate?” She mumbled against his lips.

“Fuck no.” he hummed and she chuckled.

“Baby, please…” she begged.

“We either have sex or the blowie. And I’d much rather do the things that will get the both of us off. Unless you’re done.” he mumbled against her lips.

“Not done, just don’t know if I could even come from penetration.” She explained, “So I’d rather you get to come properly than to keep trying to make me finish that way when I don’t even think I will.” She reasoned.

“Well good thing I got you a little something to help.” He said and she furrowed her eyebrows as he drew back. “Wait here.” He hummed before pecking her lips once more.

“Not a problem.” She assured him as he hurried off of the bed, “Don’t even think I could move from this position.” She said to herself. She was so over being pregnant that she wasn’t even too concerned about the birthing part, she just wanted her body back for herself. She wanted to be able to move how she wanted, to walk around without feeling like every step she took created a small scale seismic event, she wanted to stop feeling swollen and tired. She wanted to sleep on her back, even if she never really had before, but she just missed having the option! She was about fucking ready.

“OK, so I got you this.” He said coming out with a pink silicone vibrating ring. It had little bunny ears though, which she deduced were for her clit. Harry had always been the one to bring toys into their sexual life and each time she’d been blown away, so she knew this time would be no different. “S’got 5 speeds.” He said as he climbed back on the bed, kneeling before her. “You can wear it so you can control it.” He said and she nodded, reaching out for it to inspect it.

“Well, thank you.” She giggled in amusement and he chuckled.

“Course, baby.” He responded with a smile.

Shifting from their typically intense and fiery preferences when they had sex, Harry was gentle and slow paced. He’d never been one to rush into things, but right now he was doing everything he possibly could to help her relax so that she could be in a headspace where she was enjoying every bit of this instead of worrying about everything. Harry’s lips kissed up her arm, making her smirk at the tickle from his scruffy facial hair. As he trailed up her neck she let her head roll to the side to give him space to suck and smooch at her neck to his heart’s content. His hands had made their way to her breasts, gently massaging them, easing the soreness that she’d been feeling more intensely over the last weeks. She was about to have his baby, she should allow herself to spoiled by him. She sighed as he licked over her nipple before sucking gently, letting his tongue flit about.

“Just not too hard.” She whimpered when he got lost in it and bit down on her a bit.

“Sorry, baby.” He mumbled before moving to the other, “You can start using your ring by the way.” He said and she giggled breathily before fiddling with it to get it on. In the meantime, Harry started suckling at her other nipple, making her impatient to get the fucking thing on. When it switched on she immediately got the chills as she watched the little “ears” buzzing vigorously.

“Help me, yeah? I can’t actually see down there.” She said and he popped off of her with a chuckle and pulled back to help her position it over her clit perfectly. He smirked when she gasped as the ear vibrated the whole of her clit. She was already sensitive from the orgasms he’d given her with his mouth. Even on the low setting, it was intense and he glanced up to see her eyebrows pinched together as her clit was basically embraced by the vibrator. “I’m coming!” She mewled and he couldn’t help but laugh in delight as she started to pull it away, but he held her hand there until her legs were trembling and she was screaming, convulsing and out of control. “Baby!” She gasped.

“You can do it. Give yourself another one.” He said with wild eyes and she shook her head. Of course she wanted another one, but she was getting pummeled by these orgasms, she’d been without them for so long that they felt monumental to her. “Or should I turn it up and make you?” He asked and she moaned and just tossed her head back as she waited for it to build up again. When she felt him sinking his fingers back into her sopping entrance she knew she was done for.

“Fuck me!” She gasped when he curled them into that spot only he seemed to have found. He was diligent as he prodded into it without pulling his fingers out too far. She exhaled shakily as she felt her orgasm building again. And he smiled before going just a bit harder, “Fuck baby, just like that! Fuck, don’t stop!” She pleaded.

“Yeah? Gonna come for me?”

“Yes! Yes…fuck you’re gonna make me come!” She panted and moments later her muscles were contracting around his fingers. Squeezing and retracting harshly as she grew sticky with her come. The wet sounds of his fingers inside of her growing louder as her orgasm started peaking. He could feel her hips following his movements until she started to come down from it. The pulsing of her inner walls becoming more and more sporadic. When she finally opened her eyes he let go of her hand and she pulled the vibrator away as she swallowed thickly to catch her breath.

“Good?”

“So good.” She sighed with a smile as with drew his fingers from her. He glanced down to see them absolutely coated in her arousal and come. He reached down to his cock, already dribbling with precum and smeared her sticky, milky mess along his shaft.

“Fuck.” He cursed lowly. He was way too hard, he felt the ache shooting down to his swollen balls. He was back to not getting himself off, only would come when she’d do something for him, so he was overdue for his own orgasm and his excitement was evident of it.

She couldn’t necessarily see between her legs to get a view of him stroking his cock, but she bit her lip hard and watched as his muscular arm shifted back and forth with his strokes. It was like the perfect tease. She had seen his cock so many times that she could just imagine how he was stroking it, how he’d thumb over the tip to smear his precum down and lubricate his cock for a better glide. His eyes were honed in on her pussy. She imagined it was pobably, pulsing and glistening with the evidence of her orgasms. When his eyes raked up her body he smiled.

“Damn, look at you.” He groaned, there was a hunger in his eyes that she’d never seen before. “Look so fucking perfect.” He said and she smiled, “It just makes me…so fucking crazy that you’re pregnant with my baby.” He said and she realized what was going on.

“Yeah?” She asked quietly and he nodded. “It gets you off that you knocked me up?” She asked, playing along and he nodded. “S’what you wanted, isn’t it?” She asked.

“Fuck yeah, thought about it so many times.” He hummed as he started stroking faster. “Thank fuck I did. You’re exquisite.” He said. “Can’t wait to do it again.” He smirked friskily and she chuckled.

“Please fuck me.” She said and he nodded. He helped her onto her side and laid behind her and helped her get a bit more comfortable.

Y/N’s heart was pounding with excitement just from feeling his big cock smushed against her backside. He help position her hand with the vibrator back over her clit. She whimpered and struggled with keeping it there, already clutching to the bedcover to not get too carried away yet.

Harry was taking his time, thrusting between her legs, wetting his cock with all of her slick. The squelching sounds of it all were enough to make her dizzy. She lived for the feeling of his tip catching against the dip of her entrance over and over with increasing speed until his arm wrapped around her body to pulled her flush to his body and then he just plunged inside all the way and she gasped at the sudden, but most welcomed intrusion. He moaned lowly and buried his face in the back of her neck, biting down gently as he started to thrust slow and deep. She forgot how thick he was as he split her walls apart with his methodical thrusts. She could hardly make any sounds as her body vibrated with pleasure. The bulbous head of his cock was colliding into that spot where his fingers had been and she was literally seeing stars. Harry could tell he was getting her off as her walls started to squeezing him, attempting to keep him in place.

“So. Fucking. Tight like this…” he strained out in pleasure. She was so wet and hot, and with her legs squished together her walls felt so pillowy and mushy around his cock. He swore he was losing brain cells from how incredible she felt around him. Harry was fighting every instinct in his body that was screaming for him to just pound into her mercilessly. But that very self-control was getting him off. God, he’d missed having her like this…he missed her body. He knew that she missed this too. Especially as she begged for him to go just a bit harder and when he obliged she moaned loudly and he smiled.

“Yes H, just like that…just like that, baby.” She mewled.

“Oh, I’m so fucking close. Please baby. Please come for me.” He panted.

Y/N was so close to coming undone. Her body was teetering over the edge, her toes curling as she clung to that sharp strike of pleasure she’d get every time Harry’s cock collided into her spot.

“Fuck…fuck, honey.” He rushed out and started grinding into her and that’s when she lost it.

Her vision was growing blurry and her jaw was falling slack as her orgasm hit. Y/N tossed her head back against his shoulder as a wave of ecstasy just washed over her. She saw white and her ears started ringing and her legs trembling in response. Her breathing was caught as her orgasm coursed through her like fire in her veins. She pulled the vibrator away as it was starting to be too much, but it didn’t do much since Harry was now about to come.

Harry stilled deep inside of her and she could feel the intense twitches of his cock inside of her as heavy spurts of his sperm shot out of him, filling her up. She let out a scream of pleasure that she hadn’t heard before as just feeling that inside of her made her come again, a g-spot orgasm…it had her already frazzled mind fracturing. Harry started thrusting erratically as he filled her up, milking out every drop he could inside of her. His praises and curses were spurring her on further and how she wished that she could’ve watched his face as his brain melted with that orgasm. She could feel him leaking out of her with each thrust now, wetting her thighs and surely making a mess of the bed beneath them until he slowly came to a halt.

“Had so much for me, didn’t you?” She whispered breathlessly and he nodded, swallowing thickly as he caught his breath.

“If you weren’t already pregnant with my baby, you sure would be now.” He panted as he held her close and then kissed the back of her neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you. So much.” He hummed before kissing down her shoulder. His hand found hers and intertwined their fingers.

“I love you too, baby.” She smiled happily, “Thank you so much for all of the effort you put into this. I needed it.” She confessed and he chuckled.

“Course. Anything for my girl.”

***********

The last week had been hard. Y/N swore she’d been going into labor a couple times only for her to make it through the days without anything more happening. She was physically exhausted and mentally drained, she just needed to get their baby out of her body as soon as possible. She was starting to get contractions, little ones, that really had no effect on her yet but then on the 14th, the mucus plug started to fall out. She did freak out when she first found traces of it in her underwear and after extensive googling she realized what it was and started to mentally prepare for the baby coming soon. And then on the 16th it’d been nearly the entire day of small contractions. But they weren’t necessarily getting any worse, they were bothersome, but not advancing or coming at a faster pace, but regardless she was vigilant and Harry was obsessively timing them. But when nightfall came and they remained consistent to how they had been they decided to just go to sleep.

Y/N woke up a bit after midnight because she was having this dream where she was giving birth. And as she started to wake up she felt a growing pain and then lots of pressure in her pelvis. She was passing it off as the baby moving or maybe her contractions were getting stronger. But then her eyes opened wide when she suddenly felt her pants growing warm as she soaked them through and the bed beneath her as well. She was wide awake now upon realizing that her water had just broken.

“Shit….” She grumbled as she threw the covers off and tried to hoist herself up but was struggling. “Harry.” She said, reaching for him and patting at his arm.

“Hmmm?” He grumbled tiredly.

“You need to help me up, my water broke!” She said to him and he just grumbled.

“That’s ok. You’re ok.” He mumbled groggily and then she chuckled and reached to her bedside table to turn on her lamp.

“Baby, please wake up. It’s almost time. Our son is coming soon!” She said with more volume and that seemed to get his attention as he sat up in a panic. “Hey, hey, relax.” She said as he looked discombobulated as can be.

“You said the baby is coming. Or was it a dream?” He asked looking completely out of sorts. Hair wild and eyes heavy with sleep.

“Yeah, he’s coming. My water broke just now.” She informed and his eyes widened as he looked down at her lap.

“Oh my god. Oh my god…OK.” He said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got out of bed. “D’you wanna head straight there or have a quick shower so you’re nice and refreshed, or what do you want to do?” He asked her in slight panic.

“This is the first big one, I don’t think we can even be admitted yet. Let’s just have a shower and get ready to go for when they come quicker.” She suggested and he nodded.

“Yeah, OK.” Harry nodded.

“Knew I should’ve done it before bed.” She mumbled and he smiled as he hurried over to her side to help her out of bed. He was moving fast and she grabbed his hands while he reached for her body to help her and he looked to her with confusion.“Come here.” She giggled and he knelt before her and she grabbed his face gently.

“What is it?” He insisted with worry and she sighed and shook her head.

“Nothing, I just need you to please calm down or I’ll start to freak out with you.” She said and he chuckled.

“I don’t…think I can. I mean…a baby, our baby is ready t-to be born…” he chuckled nervously. “Like…he’s coming out of you!” He said with wild eyes, “I mean…oh my god, I thought about the cervix thing again…” he shook his head and she groaned.

“Don’t think about that!” She laugh nervously.

“I’m sorry.” He chuckled and she sighed as she shook her head in disapproval, before cracking a smile at him.

“I love you, but please just…I’m scared enough as it is and I’m trying my best to just think positive. Let’s just have a nice and relaxing shower, you’re gonna have to help me shave though, for visibility purposes.” She said and he nodded.

“Right, a clearer view is probably best for them, right?”

“I’d imagine so.” She giggled.

“I just want him to be here already.” He said earnestly and she smiled.

“Me too.” She hummed and then leaned forward to kiss his lips quickly. “I can do this.”

“You can.” He reassured and then she took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, “I love you.”

“I love you. Let’s do it.” She said decidedly.

With that they hurried into the shower. She’d be in hospital for a day or so and he knew how relaxing showers were for her, so he was extra considerate of her routine. He wanted to skip some of her steps, but for her sake he stuck to them. Shaving her proved to be quite challenging, but they were laughing about it, reminiscing about that time he decided to lick at her sugar scrub only to learn it was in fact soap. And the shower was certainly helping her release all of the scary and anxious thoughts. He’d been doing perineal massages on her for the last month because she was so afraid to tear, so he did a bit of that as he helped clean her up a bit, even if it was just to reassure her.

“Just wait here, let me get your robe.” Harry said hurrying out of the shower. He was just about to help her step out when she suddenly squeezed his hands hard, her nails dug into his wrist making him wince until he glanced up at her and saw her face twisted in pain. So he sucked it up, waited for the contraction to pass.

“Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to hurt you.” She whispered lowly, brows still pinched and eyes squeezed shut as she calmed.

“S’alright. Is it bad?”

“I can manage, it was just sharper than I anticipated.” She said and he nodded.

“C’mon, lets get you dried.” He said.

Once he had helped her get dried up he helped her get moisturized while she got her skincare on. Then he helped her get into the clothes they had left out already and started helping her pack up her final things to take to the hospital. Y/N was lightly primping herself umm she knew she didn’t need to do it, but she was treating this like any other day. She was sticking to her routine to stay calm. Meanwhile, Harry was getting everything into the car, they had agreed not to call and wake Anne and Julie yet since her contractions were still about 20 minutes apart, so they still had some time to go.

“OK, everything’s in the car.” Harry said as he came back into the bathroom to clean himself up a bit as well.

“Perfect, thank you baby.” She hummed. He nodded and then reached into the drawer with his razor. “Don’t shave.” She said and he glanced up at her.

“What if it’s scratchy on the baby’s face?” He asked and she pouted a bit.

“But you look so hot like this.” She whined quietly and he chuckled and turned and grabbed her face and kissed her deeply before rubbing his nose against hers.

“Guess I’ll just have to be extra cautious with the baby.” He said and she smiled in satisfaction.

“Do you think we should try getting a bit more sleep?” She asked.

“What if you don’t wake up in time?”

“I don’t see how that would be possible.” She smiled.

“Right… alright, let me change the sheets.” He said and she nodded and went to grab clean ones while he stripped the bed. Once he had stripped them she went to put them in the washer as he redressed the bed. And then they were laying down again, Y/N on her side as Harry rubbed her back gently.

It was nearing 5am now and Y/N kept waking up with each contraction that came, now they were less than 10 minutes apart from what she was noticing. So once again, she woke Harry and now they were on their way to the hospital. They checked in with ease and when they checked her out she was 5 centimeters dilated. She was breathing through the pain like she’d been told, but this was on another level. She kept squeezing Harry’s hand hard, they were waiting for them to come give her the epidural. She just needed the quiet and he was so respectful of it. Anne, Hillary, and Julie showed up a bit after 6am, but were not allowed in yet since they were still waiting for the epidural to kick in and when it finally did and the pain had subsided enough Harry just encouraged Y/N to get a bit more sleep while he went out and shared her progress with their family.

Harry came back in after about half an hour to find Y/N fast asleep and he kissed her forehead lightly before taking a seat beside her and sighing contently. He felt overwhelmed with hope, happiness, excitement, nerves…this was huge. Harry felt so lucky to have found her. And more lucky that she had not given up on him and melted away his cold exterior with her empathy and kindness. He felt lucky that she had fallen in love with him and chosen to share a life with him. And now here they were, waiting for her to give him the perfect gift. A lovely little boy that would complete their little family. He glanced up when a nurse came in quietly.

“Hi, just going to check on her progress.” She said quietly. Harry nodded and squeezed Y/N’s hand a bit and she stirred awake.

“Baby, the nurse needs to check on you.” He said softly and she nodded groggily and just bent her legs up to give the woman space to see how she was doing. It was closing in 7:30am now and the nurse smiled as she reared back.

“You’re moving along quite well, quite quickly he’s an eager one. You’re at 6 centimeters.” She said with a smile.

“Oh good.” She hummed.

“Not too much pain?”

“No, this is good.” She assured the woman.

“Excellent. It tends to speed up from here, you’re getting close.” She said with a smile.

“Thank you.” Y/N smiled.

“You’re very calm, this is good energy you two are maintaining. Keep it up.” She encouraged them and with that she headed off.

“Hear that, my love?” He asked her sweetly before pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. “Almost.” Harry hummed and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.” She assured him, her expression falling a bit and he looked at her a bit skeptically.

“What’s the matter? Are you in more pain than you’re letting on?” He asked her.

“I mean there’s pain but it’s very tolerable. This epidural thing is where it’s at.” She giggled and he chuckled a bit.

“I’m glad it’s working.” He said with relief. He knew this was probably the hardest thing a person ever had to do and he was more than glad that so far the experience was going well for her. As much as he wanted to meet and hold his baby boy, he wanted for her to have the best and smoothest delivery possible.

“Are you gonna look?” She questioned with a knowing smirk.

“I don’t know yet.” He confessed with a smile and she giggled.

“As long as you don’t pass out on me.” She warned and he sniggered.

“I’ll try my best not to.” He assured her. “You’re so calm. It’s making me feel bad for being so anxious.” He explained.

“Don’t feel bad. You’re not showing it. I think if I were feeling more pain I would definitely be more anxious. But also, if I freak out I’m just gonna have a harder time doing this and it’s gonna take me longer and I just want to meet him so bad!” She confessed, “I don’t want to take longer than necessary to finally get to hold our baby.” She said and he hummed.

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” He hummed as he tucked her hair behind her ear tenderly, “I love you so much, baby. More than I ever thought I could. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I promise that I will try my best for you and for Charlie, always.” He said with conviction and she smiled.

“I know you will, H. You already do.” She hummed as she grabbed his hand and kissed it and he smiled down at her.

Y/N wished she could have Julie, Anne, and Hillary in there with her as well. She was only allowed to have her partner in the delivery room. She also felt an underlying sadness because anyone would want their family’s support in this moment.

“H?”

“Yes, my love?” He asked her softly.

“What do you think he’ll look like? And be like?” She asked and he started to tell her how he envisioned their little boy. It was keeping her calm and giving her so much to look forward to and to push away the slight disappointment she was feeling. Their hushed conversation was so wholesome and well, his voice always helped soothe her, but especially now.

“Baby, I don’t want to mess anything up, but something’s off.” he said and she sighed.

“I was just…thinking of my family. It’s fine, but you know, just…sucks.” She said quietly.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, “Maybe they’ll come around when they see the baby.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, maybe. My mom does love babies.” She said with a smile.

“Fuck, I can’t wait.” He said with a broad smile and she reached for his face and kissed his lips quickly. “Wanna try and rest a bit more?”

“No, I’m alright.” She said, “Maybe we can FaceTime the ladies now. Just have a nice chat with them.”

“Yeah. Let me get my phone.” He said before going over to the go bag with their things. They talked to Julie, Anne, and Hillary for quite a while. They were sweet and encouraging, wishing her the very best. Then they made a call to Alyssa and Gemma. Gemma had given her some tips. Reminding her to listen to her body through this entire process. During the conversation with Gemma, Y/N’s contractions started to get far worse towards the end, leaving her wincing and inhaling sharply.

“Best to get the nurse now, H.” Gemma said and he nodded.

“Love you, babe. You’ll be amazing, alright!” Gemma said to Y/N who nodded and then they hung up.

She was beginning to feel a bit more nervous, scared, excited, happy… there were so many emotions! But she wanted to be as calm as possible for this. She was doing a lot of meditating; when the emotions would get too big she would close her eyes, acknowledge them, take a few deep breaths and let them go, like she learned in yoga class.

“Can you bring me some more ice while you grab the nurse??”

“Yeah, of course.” He said and hurried out.

Y/N was so proud of Harry, he was doing a remarkable job of regulating himself to ensure that he continued perpetuating the vibe that she wanted to have in the delivery room. He was such a respectful and supportive partner. She really couldn’t have asked for anyone better than him to be beside her for this. Sure, she was doing the heavy lifting, but his support was an essential part of this delivery. They were a team and relied on each other to succeed. Now more than ever.

Harry returned with the nurse and her ice chips and when she checked she was bordering on 8 centimeters. This was excellent news. The nurse informed her that she would start prepping everything and that in about 20-30 minutes she would be good to start pushing. After a few minutes they started setting everything up and Y/N was starting to get nervous, so Harry was quick to grab her earphones and put on the playlist of her happy music. Encouraging her to close her eyes and just sing along quietly as he combed his fingers through her hair, handing her the cup of ice chips when she’d ask for some as the staff did their thing. And this is how they killed some time as they waited for the time to come.

They were currently singing along to “American Girl” quietly while she was free of contractions, she had about one song in between her contractions now, so things were moving along quickly. She was in the middle of crushing through some ice chips when her head fell back as she winced. She writhed around a bit as the pain peaked. She started to feel so much pressure between her legs it was unreal.

“Baby. Baby breathe.” He coached her and she tried to exhale smoothly, but it was coming out shakily.

“Oh my god…” she hissed with a scowl on her face when the worst of it passed. “I-it feels different than before. I think this is happening right now.” She whimpered, “Ow! Fuck!” She whined as her eyes started to fill with tears and he immediately reached for the call button on the bed.

“I’ve called the nurse, OK?” He assured she nodded. Moments later the nurse hurried into the room.

“Is everything alright?” She asked them.

“I feel a lot of pressure and I just…feel like I want to push.” She explained before wincing again.

“Alright, let’s check you out.” She said and then took another peek before sticking her gloved hand in between her legs to feel for any changes and her eyes widened. “He’s an eager little guy! I think you’re just about ready, love. I’ll go get the doctor.” She assured with a smile as she removed the gloves and rushed out of the room.

“You hear her, he’s coming.” Harry said to her with excitement and she nodded with a smile despite the pain she felt.

Moments later another contraction hit and she squeezed her legs together to fight the urge to push. She rolled her lips together and vocalized the pain through the harsh contraction. She moaned in pain and reached for his hand. Harry grabbed it immediately and let her squeeze as she exhaled shakily. Yes, it hurt how hard she was squeezing, he had no idea she even had that much strength in her! But this was as much as he could do for her right now so he would say nothing and take it, just as she was taking this feat on right now.

“You’re so fucking strong.” He said to her with a smile and she giggled despite the pain.

“I assume I’d have to be for this.” She said softly and he nodded and kissed her forehead with a smile. Just then the doctor came in with a few other nurses.

“Y/N, hi! I hear you’re ready to have this baby.” The doctor smiled at her.

“Yes. Beyond ready.” She let out a strained chuckle that the doctor reciprocated as she got geared up. One one of the nurses started to put a little monitor on her to gauge the contractions.

“Good. I think this will be a fast one.” She smiled at her. “Dad, are you planning on skin to skin with the baby?” She asked and Harry nodded right away. “Perfect, we’ll just clean him up and let him stick around with you for a bit.” The doctor said to them and they nodded. Harry then turned to her and grabbed Y/N’s hand, he was nearly trembling with excitement. His wide smile caused her to smile back despite the contraction that assailed her just then.

“We’re gonna meet him so soon!” He said as his eyes started to tear up and she nodded. She was already getting all misty-eyed as well just from all of the emotions. They were setting her up to get ready to push. Harry leaned down a bit and kissed her lips once more a few times, “You’re going to be amazing, yeah? So fucking amazing.” He whispered against her lips, “I love you the most.”

“I love you.” She hummed, “And remember what we talked about before.” She said and he shook his head.

“Yeah, but everything’s going to be great. OK? You’ve been in good spirits this whole time, been so calm, doing your breathing and mediations. You’ve got this.” He assured her and she nodded.

“I do. I’ve got this.” She repeated.

“Alright lovely, ready when you are.” The doctor said as she perched herself at the end of the bed, down between Y/N’s legs. Y/N nodded as one of the other nurses came to her other side and gave her a reassuring smile. “When you feel the pressure and the contraction bear your hips down and push, OK? Hold it as much as you can.” The doctor instructed and Y/N nodded. Her forehead beading with sweat as it suddenly started to feel a lot warmer than before. She glanced to Harry who just smiled at her reassuringly.

“Alright, get ready, Y/N.” The nurse beside her said and she just took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly.

“Here it is and push!” The doctor instructed and she put her entire strength into it. Clutching tight to the linens with one hand and the other in Harry’s, “Excellent job. Just hold it a bit more and good.” She said and she relaxed as the contraction passed and she caught her breath. She had about a minute break before she was instructed to push again and this happened a few more times. For the most part she was quiet, her screaming was all internal and she was taking in all of Harry’s affirmations as well, letting his words settle in and encourage her to keep going.

“Alright, great job. Give it one more go…” the doctor encouraged her. With this one she couldn’t help but groan in pain as the pressure just increased even further. It definitely was painful, more than anything she’d ever felt, but she could mentally cope with it, “Okay lovely, his head is down in the canal. You’ll be crowning soon, just take your time with this bit, OK?” She said and Y/N nodded as her tears started to stream down her face.

Harry was squeezing her hand just as hard as she started to push again. He was in awe of her determination. Of how calm she was, of how gorgeous she was and how strong she was. He bit his lip nervously as she groaned once again, pushing hard to help their baby descend.

“Alright, that’s good, Y/N. Relax a bit for me, OK?” The doctor said and she nodded and just tossed her head back on the bed as she panted a few times and Harry kissed her sweaty forehead and she smiled at him with tired eyes. It had been a long process to get her to this point. “Ready to push?”

“Not yet.” She said softly.

“Alright, just let it pass, let your body do its thing.” The nurse at her side said and she nodded.

“Can I sit up a bit more? I need a bit more leverage.” She said and she nodded and adjusted the top half of the bed to get it into a position that made her feel more comfortable.

“Better?”

“Yes. Much better.” She said with a gentle smile.

“OK, here comes another.” The doctor spoke up again and she bore her hips down, getting ready for further instructions, “Alright, lets focus on getting his head through with these next couple contractions alright?”

“OK.” She sighed.

“Here we go…a nice long push.” And she did as she was told, “Oh, very good, Y/N! He’s right there.” The doctor said, “And rest.” She exhaled shakily. The pressure was increasing even more and she was most scared of this part, but the position change had definitely helped her feel more in control of her pushing. “Alright, here comes another. Use the contraction, Y/N. Lean into it.” The doctor coached and again she grunted as she gave yet another push. The nurses were praising her as she gave it her all.

“Good girl, he’s just about to come out. His head is right there.” The nurse said with a smile.

“Really?” She sniffled and the nurse nodded.

“Yes. Do you want to feel?”

“Can I?” She asked and the nurse nodded and she felt the doctor guide her hand and she gasped as she felt the little bulge of his head at her opening. “Oh my god…” she suddenly started crying, she was so happy. It was a joy she had never felt before. It was emanating from her.

“You’re so close, darling.” The other nurse assured her and she nodded and pulled her hand away.

“Here, clean your hand on this towel.” The nurse beside her spoke softly and she did so.

“Is there blood?” Harry asked her softly and Y/N nodded at him.

“Do you want to see?” The doctor asked Harry.

“Yes, but no. If there’s blood I will faint.” He explained through a nervous chuckle and they all laughed along with him for a bit before they instructed her to push again.

She could feel as the baby was almost pushing itself down into her canal with her next pushes and the stretch of it slightly stung despite the epidural, but she could do it. She could brave this.

“His head will be out with this next one, alright?”

“Already?!” Harry asked excitedly. He just wanted to hold his son.

“Yeah, he’s ready to meet you two.” The doctor smiled, “He’s a tiny, little fellow.” She said to Y/N, “So one big push and the rest is the easy part, alright?”

“Ok.” She exhaled shakily as the pain started to increase as the pressure of the baby’s head at her entrance started to increase with the oncoming contraction. “OK…OK…I can do it.” She whispered to herself.

“You can. You are doing it, my love.” Harry hummed from beside her, “Gonna get to hold him soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She sniffled.

“A big push!” The doctor coached, “Perfect. Push!”

“Push, baby! Push.” Harry said softly and excitedly. “You’re doing it!” He chuckled as his own tears slid down his cheeks.

Y/N strained through gritted teeth as she gave it her all. The nurse at her side helped pull her leg back a bit for more leverage and the sharp pain followed by the release of pressure and the delighted smile on the doctor’s face told her she had done it. At this point her tears started to fall freely, she was just so relieved and tired and excited and over this and eager to see their baby. Her heart was thumping loudly.

“There’s his head! Good job!” The doctor informed happily and Y/N just sighed in relief.

“Alright, she’s turning him now…Oh, he’s a cute one.” The nurse beside her said with a smile, “Push when you feel the need to, we have to get his shoulders through.” She informed and Y/N nodded. She winced and gasped in pain through the next few.

“Fuck…fuck!” She mewled as they tried to fit the rest of him through.

“S’alright lovely, just keep pushing. He’s nearly out.”

“I can’t anymore.” She whined quietly as she felt like she had nothing left to give.

“You can, baby. You can, you’re right there.” Harry encouraged, “You’re so strong, my love. Done so well. You’ve got it. Just a few more pushes, for me.” He encouraged her softly. “Let’s meet our baby, angel.” He said through his tearful smile and she nodded.

“One more time, Y/N!” The doctor encouraged happily, “You’re doing great!…Excellent!” She smiled, “And last one…” Y/N strained, giving it all her might until finally she heard their son’s cry and after that she tuned everything else out. She suddenly felt overheated and lightheaded and so fucking weak as they pulled the rest of his little body from her.

Harry started sobbing the moment he saw them bring him up and then hurry to clean him. He turned to Y/N to see her head just thrown back as she caught her breath and he kissed all over her face, over and over. He was speaking to her but she wasn’t responding, she was just mentally clearing her head from this feat she’d just managed to get through. He was thanking her and telling her how perfect he was and how she’d done so well and how much he loved her as he struggled to catch his breath. He felt his heart explode as the nurse turned to him with Charlie in her hands and she asked him to help her with Y/N’s gown.

She glanced down to see Harry pulling down her nightgown and then seconds later Charlie was being handed over to her, the nurse wearing a bright smile as she got to hold her baby for the first time. She just let out a laugh of joy and hugged him carefully to her chest. He was a tiny little guy. She pressed him against her nipple and she glanced up at Harry with wide eyes at how he just latched on without hesitation. It was amazing that he just knew what to do.

“Fuck.” Harry sniffled as he looked down with so much pride pumping through his veins. Seeing Y/N with Charlie, that was his entire world just there. He was gentle as he reached out and and touched his little fingers. “He’s perfect.” He chuckled through his tears, “So small. He’s cute.” He mused as he just watched him feeding eagerly.

“Right. So happy he doesn’t look too much like an alien.” She whispered and he chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“Like 20% alien.” He said and she giggled and nodded in agreement before looking down at him.

“Hi Charlie, I’m your mom.” She hummed as she let her fingers gently trace along his profile. “Love you so much. You’re so perfect.” She whispered with pride.

“When he’s done nursing you can take him. Here’s a chair.” The nurse said and he nodded before turning his attention back to Y/N and Charlie.

“You’re an easy one.” The doctor said to Y/N and she glanced over to her, “Just push a little bit to get the placenta out.” She instructed, she didn’t even notice when it happened, but assumed it had when the doctor was gone from between her legs. They were in their own little world as they cleaned up the area and Y/N as well.

“Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Styles.” The doctor said to them with a smile, “One of the nurses will be back a bit later to conduct some standard tests. Just to ensure the baby’s vitals are normal and then some quick reflect tests. Then we can worry about the paperwork for the birth certificate and to explain a bit of the process for your aftercare, alright?” She smiled and they both nodded.

“Thank you so much, doctor.” Harry said with a smile and she nodded before excusing herself. The nurses were around for a bit more before they assured her that they’d be back to check on them in a little while. They thanked them as well before focusing back on the baby. He was now just nuzzled into Y/N’s chest and he stretched just a bit which made them coo.

“Take a picture, yeah?” She asked and Harry was quick to grab his phone and snap a few pictures and a video as well.

“Look.” He hummed as he showed her, “You look perfect with him.” He whispered as he showed her the video and she smiled, “Can I send this one in the group chat?” He asked and she nodded.

“What were his weight and height? I missed it.” She said and he smiled.

“45.4 centimeters and 2.7 kilos.” He said softly.

“I don’t know what that means.” She giggled and he chuckled.

“Fucking metric system…hold on.” He said before converting it on his phone. “17 inches and just shy of 6 pounds.” He said and she nodded. He quickly sent off the video before setting his phone down on the bed and leaning back down to kiss her forehead. She turned and puckered her lips out and he smiled and kissed his lips.

“Thank you so much for reaming calm and for all of the lovely things you said to help me. Helped a lot.” She hummed and he chuckled and shook his head.

“Thank you for our baby! I mean look at him…God.” He hummed, completely awestruck.

“Want to hold him now?” Y/N asked Harry quietly. He was a bit hesitant, but nodded nonetheless. “Get you shirt off.” she said and he was quick to pull it off and he just set it down beside her.

He knew how to hold babies, but he still hesitated just a bit before taking him from her hands. He was so tiny and defenseless. He couldn’t help but suddenly recall everything that he’d been told by Chloe, how he didn’t deserve this, how he wasn’t cut out for this. But suddenly Charlie blinked his eyes open and just looked at him before letting out a tiny hiccup and Harry chuckled and grabbed him right away before pressing him to his chest and he sighed in relief as he felt his warm and soft skin against his chest. He couldn’t help but get all teary-eyed again as he wriggled a bit until Harry sat down in the chair they had given him. He rubbed over his back and patted it gently to help him burp out any air bubbles from his feeding. He was completely enamored to feel Charlie’s little puffs of air against his chest. They were so subtle, but he held perfectly still to ensure that he could feel them.

“Baby.” He heard Y/N and he glanced up at her with a smile and it widened when he saw her taking a photo or a video of him. “He’s falling asleep again. You’re a natural.” She smiled.

“Think so?” He whispered as he tried to glance down at Charlie and she nodded.

“Yeah.” She hummed, smiling at him with pride. “Gonna send this one in the chat as well.” She said and he nodded excitedly.

She was smiling so wide as Harry spoke to Charlie quietly. Telling him how he would love him and protect him and support him for his whole life. Telling him how happy he was to have him in his arms. She could see his apprehension melt away second by second as their baby got comfortable over his chest. He was going to be a phenomenal dad.

“Get some rest, baby.” Harry said to her.

“OK, but come here with him. We can share.” She said and he nodded.

Once Harry had enough space to sit with her, he settled in and she leaned her head on his shoulder as she watched Charlie breathing easily, just watching his little body rise and fall felt like the most perfect miracle. There were only good thoughts and excitement for what this new chapter of life would bring for them and their little family.

“Baby, how about we leave my tattoo as one angel and it’ll be Charlie? He’s our little angel, you know?” She whispered with a smile and he nodded.

“Yeah. I love that. Can maybe add some fillers with his birth flowers? What do you think of that?” He asked.

“Yeah, we can work on it together?”

“And you can give me a matching one?” He asked, “When you’re up for it, of course.”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” She whispered excitedly and he chuckled before leaning down and kissing her head and then Charlie’s very gently.

“Oh sweetheart, we’re gonna take such good care of you.” She hummed as she reached out to his little hand and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around hers.

“Thank you, baby. Thank you so much. You’ve made me the happiest person alive. Thank you.” Harry said to her with a big smile and she kissed his bicep before leaning on him and exhaling tiredly.

They had no idea what else life would throw at them, but with so much love in their hearts, they felt more than ready to brace through life together. To do anything to look after their little family. Nothing else mattered anymore, nothing else even felt close to this. It was somehow possible to feel more than joy. More than love. It’s like a whole new part of their hearts had suddenly been unlocked. This was the best day of their lives.

“Welcome to the world, Charlie. You’re gonna love it.” Harry whispered happily.

... THE END ...

Found this today. Not sure if the tagged blog is the creator, but the account is linked in the image:)

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noellashes · 1 year ago

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hiiiiiiii! feel free to ignore this ask but what do you like about noelashe? :0 I really like them too but I don't exactly know why myself... the parallels perhaps? the care? the potential? either way, I'm asking you how you feel about them! And I hope you have a wonderful day! :)

so so sorry for the late response but

anon you don't understand how long ive been waiting for someone to ask me this exact question

this may be extremely long depending on how much i feel like talking about so i apologize

spoilers inbound after this point!!

there are many, many reasons ive fallen in love with them and their dynamic, but ill try to condense them into a more readable format

the sections will be as follows:

their parallels and how they compliment each other

their kindness and affection towards each other

how they treat the other differently to the others in the mansion

more surface level dynamic things i like

the things that got me attached to them in the first place

parallels!

i feel like every noelashe fan understands their parallels somewhat but im insane so im gonna go in depth

they match and contrast each other in so so many different ways, down to even design (i actually made a post about that before it shouldnt be too hard to find)

their personalities are one thing, energetic and tired, extroverted and introverted, loud and shy, cruel and kind, fake and genuine, manipulative and naïve, i could go on but thatd be WAY too long so i'll just mention these

but thats just on the surface, they actually match each other a LOT more than you think

how ashe is more introverted than what meets the eye, not liking people out of distrust, and noel being tons more talkative and social, adoring people and barely being able to hate anyone

noel being smarter than he appears, willing to lie and manipulate for what he wants, and ashe being really easy to fool sometimes, immediately believing anything he thinks can bring back his family

and of course the obvious, their wishes

the same wish, the same pain, they go through such similar trauma with different ways of dealing with it

or so you think, their coping is very similar and this is acknowledged in sirius's conclusion, the only real difference being if theyre violent or not. noel, has sworn off harming people but he's still not above using backhanded methods for his goals. ashe, despite doing awful things for his wants, still has noble(ish) reasons for why he does these things

neither are entirely innocent, but neither are completely guilty

they both just want the people they care for to live peacefully, alive

but both do some pretty fucked up things for this wish, noel lies to sirius and uses dorothy as a ploy, ashe well- i think we all know. ashe commits multiple varied crimes that range from theft to murder and noel's own negligence can be considered a crime in some cases.

they have an understanding no one else does and it creates a lot of interest towards them and develops them as individuals too

kindness

they care so much for each other its insane

noel has trouble seeing ashe as anything but kind and ashe cant help but feel attached to noel even if he doesnt want to, which makes them get close each time and it makes them feel for each other a LOT more than they need to

the times where noel is sick and ashe takes care of him, ashe saying he lied so noel wont feel bad, noel letting ashe confide in him and ashe even trusting him enough to say his worries in the first place, the list goes on

they just have an instant bond bc they want someone to care and help them (even if both have trouble admitting it) and they want to help each other, which just makes them care more

it always ends in kindness between the two and it's one of the ways we get a happy ending

special treatment

i could put this in the kindness section but i think it deserves its own section bc its so damn cute

it does have a little less to go over tho as it doesn't happen much

im also gonna start adding screenshots and such

noel seems to really admire ashe and his abilities so much more than anyone else its adorable

hes so amazed by him literally just cooking and he doesnt comment on anything to do with precise stuff that isnt smth ashe does, i may be wrong but i dont think ive ever seen him comment on smth like sirius drawing talismans which is highly specific but will ALWAYS think about how impressed he is with ashe

he also just

treats ashe in a similar way to claire, like he just casually says ashe saved him which is such a strong word to him with no thought and he LITERALLY SAYS HE TRUSTS HIM UNCONSCIOUSLY BC HE REMINDS HIM OF CLAIRE if that doesnt say smth i dont know what does

and ashe always opens up to noel so much more than anyone else like noel has gotten ashe to talk about himself unlike anyone else, the only other character he talked to about things was claire (technically sirius too but he was drunk off his ass so im not counting it) and that was like once he doesnt even say anything that isnt surface level

ashe also just refuses to harm noel and i dont think anyone has noticed this before

it makes sense if his killings are during the day bc noel literally just isnt there but some other times he has no excuse

HE MOVES TO THE SIDE HERE EVEN IF WHERE HE WAS STANDING GAVE HIM A CLEARER SHOT TO CLAIRE YOU CANT TELL ME IT WASNT SO HE DELIBERATELY MISSES NOEL

ALSO HE COULDVE TRIED AGAIN OR GONE AFTER HIM BUT NO HE JUST GOES "missed one!" AND CALLS IT A DAY IF THATS NOT PROOF HE DOESNT WANNA HURT NOEL I DONT KNOW WHAT IS

surface level things

as much as i love the incredible lengths of their relationship, i also like more simple things that im just gonna put into a little list

theyre so sun and moon guys

BLACK CAT AND GOLDEN RETRIEVER BFS

their color palettes look nice together

babygirl and wet cat

loves to cook and fucking awful at cooking

smartass x dumbass

mutual healing

their symbols being hearts and stars those look so cute together

"i care about you!!" "why??", mutually

little bitch and sweetheart

both are affectionate but neither can handle it

emotionally repressed x the one who wants them to grow again

bfs who rant about their interests

same trauma

very strange guy x doesnt care

"im a disgusting monster" "HOW?"

the black and white good evil thing is very aesthetically pleasing for them

angel and devil (kinda)

why i fell in love with them

theres a lot of reasons why i love them but theres a few very specific things that got me attached

most obvious is that theyre both my favorites, im extremely attached to ashe and i loved him from the start, i didnt start liking noel until a tiny bit later but he very quickly gained my love

i also relate to them both heavily so seeing them care so much for each other gave me comfort

its a huge pattern that most of my ships are of the character i got immediately attached to and relate to and other character i relate to who cares about the first character

the fate line. its just so gay i was like "thats kinda gay" and while i didnt always think of it like it was super important it always stuck in my head like "yeah i could ship them"

but the real thing that started this all was the wine scene

its when i realized how much they cared for each other and then the floodgates opened, and here we are now!!

its still by far my favorite scene of the two it just makes me so happy its so adorable

conclusion

i have an extreme love for noelashe and just seeing them can make my entire mood better

i dont think many people have analyzed them as much as me so its sad to see how much stuff with them goes unnoticed

theyre genuinely so great for each other, platonic, romantic or anything in between, they deserve to be happy with each other

im so sorry for this being so long and maybe really hard to understand but i adore them so much

if you read this all thank you so much!! have a great day

#uso rambles #witchs heart #ashe bradley #noel levine #noelashe #im so insane for them #noelashe the world

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acid--inside · 10 months ago

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I AM GOING SO VERY WILD AND FERAL. Thank you for the good food

If its alright I would like to hear more about. Any vre takes yuo got (on literally anyone you want). Giggle

ok so fun thing abt me is i cant do fatal or else i have an episode (hallucinate people coming into my house to kill me) so. soft stuff only. :3c

i... thiunk the c/ o/g/s should be stupidly hugelarge in general so they all theoretically CAN. its more of if they WOULD. (all could be pred to a to/on, but if they're small enough could be prey to another c/ o/g)

uh. undercut bc long.!!! (re/gi/on/al ma/na/ge/rs)

i think 🧠 would try to. idk if he's any good at that stuff bc he's one of the smaller ones. and also has no canon mouth. for funny purposes i think it would end with him just getting really pissed off and then going "I CAN BUT NOW IM NOT GONNA!"

🔔can. and he will. he's my snake friend (i see him like a big boa constrictor) and i do have like. genuine lore about the snake instinctss. he was raised like a snake el/sa. so he like. would/could never until he gives in and/or is convinced to give it a shot.

📺no. he dgaf actually. no thank you. he could but he doesnt feel like it/doesnt see any appeal. thanks for considering him tho.

🛻(yes this is the stupid speedy boy's emoji) also can. he does i think. but only ever to 🔥. (and 🔥is just prey not a pred, at least not to him. look i see 🛻 as an actual truck in my mind)

🦆he'd try to do it as a joke but he can't so he just kinda. slobbers on you. also would get distracted and end up kissing you a lot.

🌲yah. he can + will. tee bee aych i think non-romantic safe/soft w/ him and ⛓️could be sweet. protect your brother :) (NOT ROMANTIC!!!! THEYRE BASICALLY HUGGING)

🌑sorry hes too little. also probably would not. i dont see him being too big of a fan of either orientation either. (a mix of no interest + would be like. prey exclusively and doesnt want that)

🛰️i. thiunk they could go either way. i habe my own bag of worms abt these freaks. all would have their own preferences tho. i think its funny if N didnt gaf. keep that shit away from me and let me cook.

⛈️ya. mean lawyer who keeps trying to eat the competition/anyone who wins against her. she'd be more mean abt it but also has to spit them out. tiny enough to be prey to other employees tho.

📜(its that stupid old man there wanst an emoji for him) eh. he's. he also dgaf. no interest. thinks its also stupid to do regardless.

⚔️UH HUH. another big mean lady who eats people she doesnt like. would absolutely throw a fit if anyone else ate her though. (literally only 🔔 is big enough to reliably eat other coworkers. and she hates him. idk why.

☎️sure. i think she's done it before. no longer has interest. that was something she looks back on like it was an embarrassing teenage phase (it totally was)

🔥also yes, he has fun w/ it. pred to most to/ons and cool abt it. prey to his BF. also cool abt it. also i think he'd be stupid chill about it, just kinda. on his phone in there.

🦉SO EEPY. probably would do either orientation (pred/prey) but sleeps the whole fucking time. if you like hyper prey do not engage they will lie to you. you like preds who tease? good fucking luck he immediately takes a nap

🎹ABSOLUTELY A PRED. more than happy to chow down on any randos who ask politely. but only if you ask politely. kinda the epitome of "yum im so full of quarters yum" so he like. isnt some people's first choice bc of that.

⛓️yuh. i will break the mold and say. while i think he COULD be a pred, he prefers to be prey. its like a full body hug, and a warm weighted blanket. he finds it soothing to have the warmth + pressure and also have no responsibility until he's back in his office. so. he would like to take a nap in there. would pair best w/ 🦉for that reason but he's too big/distrusting of himself around others bc of the ov/er/ri/de.

#not so t00ny #corporate cream #GUH #this is a lot im so eepy.#can u see my vision btw.

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adonis-koo · 4 years ago

Text

Star Struck

| 2 |

↳ Summary: You’re a creature of habit, you plan everything from each hour to each day, so you can imagine the chaos which ensues after you discover a random guy leaking black goo in a ditch- who just so happens to be an alien.

↳ Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: lowkey strangers to lovers, alien!jungkook, fluff, smut,

Word Count: 13k

Tags: tentacle sex im sorry, foreplay, oral (f) but not?? jungkook is technically a virgin by human standards ayyy, penetration, nipple play, over stimulation, double penetration, squirting, sub!jungkook, breath play, spit kink, jungkook can make his own lube??, anal im so sorry, praise kink, they become soul mates on accident oops,

Previous | Next

You didn’t see nor understand what JK was talking about at first, he just fumbled along between alleyways and roads and nobody, or what little people were on the streets didn’t look at you twice given your friend was as tall and broad as he was. Perks of being with a man you guessed. You still didn’t know what he was actually talking about except for the assumption that he had found his...friends…?

Eventually JK had dragged you through a lot of fields which had made you increasingly anxious, what if a kidnapper was out here? True you wouldn’t mind him using his talon like tentacles then but still...You also didn’t want to go to jail for assisting a homicide...Standing in an empty field, at the dead of night, was not what you intended on doing on a friday night.

JK seemed excited though as he bounced, grabbing a hold of you, he pressed his thumb to your forehead, your eyes fluttering shut on instinct from being so close to him suddenly but your brows pinched and an uncomfortable ache throbbed in your head before he released you. Rubbing your head you whined before you looked up again, only jumping with a screech at the...ship...in front of you...which was NOT there a moment ago.

“Home!” JK announced proudly as he grabbed your hand, tugging you along against your will, was this really...his ship? Oh god what if he was abducting you...You didn’t have time to think as he ushered you inside. It looked small on the outside admittedly but on the inside it was all glossy and clean, a sleek futuristic look dawning the interior.

Futuristic, he was an alien, you weren’t shocked at the assessment but still. This must’ve been the hanger or...living area… or...hell if you knew ship terms, it looked like the dining room but you didn’t expect two others to appear. All of them speaking in that same throaty tongue as he ran to them, embracing them with pure excitement on his face before he pointed to you, a look of pride on his face as he cleared his voice, “Y/n.” He spoke clearly as if introducing you.

You gave an awkward stiff wave before immediately dropping your arm, you were going to be extremely pissed if this was the LSD trip you thought you were having yesterday. You watched them all speak to one another before the one on the right nodded, saying something before gesturing JK off, who hurriedly ran off leaving you alone....with two aliens…

They both looked at you expectantly as you looked around, “Hi…” You offered an awkward smile, “You guys are terrifying…” Watching the one on the right grab a watering can to pour over a small...purple colored...tree? “You less so…” You turned to the other one, his eyes dark and piercing and wow…if you thought JK was hot you hadn’t even thought about what it would look like to seem someone attractive from his species, “You the most…” You wrapped your arms around yourself uncomfortably.

“He’s just assessing you, Taehyung’s like that with anyone associated with our Jungkookie.” You nearly wheezed at the sound of the one on the right speaking full...English…he offered a dimpled smile as if anticipating that reaction, “Apologies. I’m Namjoon, I’m sure you’re extremely confused and scared with everything going on.”

“...You could say that…” Your twisted somewhat painfully as you nodded rapidly, it was midnight and you were in a fucking spaceship, “Ummm, where did JK go…?”

Namjoon as he called himself suddenly snorted, shaking his head as he sighed, “Told him he should’ve paid more attention in the academy,” He rolled his eyes, “Jungkook,” He emphasised the name, “That’s his full Earth name. He just forgot it because he never pays attention,” He offered a weak smile, “And he’s in the memoir chamber rememorizing English so he can actually speak to you. It’s handy for us Orionian’s in case a situation like this happens and we don’t know archaic languages like English.”

You didn’t understand a word of what he just said, “I’m sorry...I think I’m too dumb to talk to you, honestly…” You felt extremely stupid but much to your surprise Namjoon laughed in delight, as if endured by your words.

“You humans are pretty humble huh,” He hummed as he continued watering the rest of his plants, “Anyways, our ship crashed here on Earth on our way to the andromeda galaxy and Jungkook ended up falling out, it was an...extremely rocky crash…” His smile still weak as if a vague memory entered his mind, “You have our utmost thanks for taking him in when he was injured and housing him.”

“It’s no problem, I would’ve done it for anyone.” You shifted a little, smiling a tiny bit despite still not feeling as comfortable as you wish you could be, it was just difficult to take in everything that was rapidly changing but your words still stood, you would have. Especially for...Jungkook...you lingered on the same, it sounded more fitting for the tall puppy like boy.

“So what are your intentions with Jungkook?” You jumped at how deep the second voice was...Taehyung if you remembered correctly and he only looked about as hot as he was intimidating, “Why did you take him in if you knew his identity.”

You flailed a little, intending to speak yet no words came out...you...you hadn’t really thought about it...at all honestly…”I...I ummm...well…”

“Are you working for them?” Taehyung stepped towards you, his expression becoming cold as you feebly took a step back looking towards the ground and unsure of how to answer or if you’d even given him a satisfying answer.

“Stop.” The new voice was raspy and low, not too terribly deep, but just enough to sound charming and rather rugged, Jungkook had appeared again only this time, immediately standing defensively in front of you, “She found me and even after finding out about me being an Orionian she didn’t report me to any Earth officials. I trust her, and you should too.”

He...he could speak...perfect English now...What!?

Taehyung’s eyes narrowed onto you, still distrustful but he laid off, “Right...and what is this about you bonding with her? I don’t think she’d be a good vessel.”

Jungkook’s jaw twitched and you could see the glow of the crescents on his hand burning in red, “Well I’m not asking for your permission to bond with her.” He spat back, his brows furrowed and his lip twitching in anger, suddenly he didn’t look so cute and puppy like anymore, “And it’s not like we’re getting off Earth anytime soon with the ship in this state, so it’s best if we just resume the plan as originally intended.”

“You think I’d choose a vessel as inferior as humans to have my offspring?” Taehyung’s face curled as if that was the biggest insult he had ever heard and yet you nearly choked at his words, vessel? Offspring? Uh what?

“Stop fighting,” Namjoon sighed and much to your surprise both of the two boys quieted down, Jungkook still stood in front of you, shuffling a little closer as Namjoon sighed, “Jungkook is right…” He made a noise of victory as Taehyung’s mouth twitched in anger, the marks along his body burning a deep red that was just a little scary to watch from afar, “With the technology at hand here on Earth and with Arbitrators searching for us, it’s in our best interest to make the most of what we have here. Besides, Earth is unsuspecting and was one of our forerunner’s best creations. It’s not too far off irony to let them be the vessel of our offspring.”

You stared up at Jungkook’s broad back in disbelief...this man was trying to impregnate you after a half a day of knowing you!? You weren’t sure plan B was prepared for this shit. Jungkook looked deeply satisfied at Taehyung’s reaction though before he turned to you, his expression soft and puppy-like as he smiled somewhat timidly before speaking as if he was a little giddy, “Hi…”

You could’ve said anything in this moment, in which Jungkook looked like he had been excitedly waiting for, and yet your choice of words had been admittedly poor.

“You’re gonna have to bag another bitch, I don’t do kids! I...I did NOT sign up for this!” You immediately backed away from him like he was poison and you didn’t know how these fuckers procreated and at this point you weren’t sure you wanted to learn!

Jungkook’s lips parted and he looked a little hurt before he quickly approached you again, “I don’t expect you to want to carry my children yet….”

“Yet!?” You shouted out making all three of them flinch a little, “I...I just let you stay at my place because you looked like you were dying in a ditch, and now! I’m in a spaceship, I can’t find the exit and you can suddenly speak English and you’re talking about kids!? This...nu-uh this is going way too fast. I...I really need to get home.”

Jungkook’s lips trembled a little as he reached out for you, “I’ll take you back! Or-! Or you could stay here until the morning, you shouldn’t be out alone, Earth has proved to be unsafe at night.” He tenderly held your forearms as your expression awkwardly twisted.

“Nothing worse could happen to me than what happened earlier tonight,” You shook your head rapidly as you sighed, “Just show me the exit, I’ll be fine, really. I’m happy for you! Seriously! I mean it looks like you’re reunited with your kin so there’s no reason for us to stay in contact and it’s been fun and out of this world- literally.” You laughed a little as you rambled, all three staring at you wide eyed, “But like, seriously I’ll keep this to myself and just hope it’s a really shitty drug trip like I originally thought it was…”

Jungkook sighed, lowering his head in defeat and his lips trembled a little in that sulky way it had been this morning as he went to the hatch where you both had come in, dialing a few buttons he waited a moment as he mumbled, “I just want to explain everything to you, I owe you that, at least…”

You said nothing waiting for the door to open as he dialed a few other buttons, and a few more, and again...and again…”Um,” He cleared his throat a little, “Namjoon…? The door?” He asked, his eyes doe like as he stared at his companion who sighed, squeezing between you both as he also dialed a few numbers into the glowing pad.

They both waited before Namjoon’s lips twisted into a sigh as if somehow expecting this to happen before he spoke, “Doors’ jammed...again…”

“This is fucking perfect.” Taehyung swore with a sigh, gritting his teeth as his eyes glared into you briefly, causing you to sheepishly back a little towards Jungkook, “I’m going back to my pod, I can’t deal with this.” He brooded before leaving as you looked between both aliens.

“...Jammed? The door? As in…?”

Jungkook’s lips twisted into a nervous smile, his marks glowing a light purple as he coughed, “Looks like we’ll have plenty of time to talk now…” Fuck! Why did things have to be this complicated, it could have been worse, but it was the same annoyance you had when Youtube played an unskippable ad, or when the lead in your pencil broke, a cookie falling onto the floor, that type of inconvenience.

Unshockingly Jungkook didn’t hold the same feeling as he spoke gently, “I can show you to my pod, it’ll be awhile before the door gets fixed…” He gave you an endearing apologetic smile.

“...As long as you aren’t gonna try to knock me up then sure.” You stared at him in disdain, making him weakly smile as he stepped back up the metal stairs and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve assumed he was actually happy you were stuck with no other choice but to stay.

“Once you see her to your pod, a word please Jungkook...” Namjoon’s gaze was fixed on the door quizzically as if already trying to deduce what had made it jammed, he made no effort to look back at you both but you could tell it was probably important.

Jungkook only nodded eagerly and kept your hand in his as he lead you down the small the hallway, lights flickering and while you were anything but an engineer or mechanic, it wasn’t hard to tell they had crash landed, Jungkook ignored the mess against the walls as he typed in something before a door slid open revealing what you assumed was his room, the door slid shut behind you making you jump a little as you investigated the space. It was a minimalistic room, a few trinkets laid around and a messy bed was against the wall.

“You can sleep if you want...I know you were tired when I woke you up…” Jungkook’s marks glowed a soft pink as he bashfully looked at the ground, scratching his cheek as if he didn’t know what to say, “I um...I should go speak to my brother.”

Before you could even say anything Jungkook had already left looking somewhat sheepish, leaving you to curiously look around the room, it was spacious and in tones of deep brown and black, a few gadgets laying around on his nightstand as you tilted your head.

His pod...so basically...a bedroom. You assumed as much as you couldn’t really make a distinct difference between the two. True you could’ve slept like he had suggested, you were exhausted but too wired to even think about sleeping at the moment due to how bizarre of circumstances you were in. You were in an alien’s bedroom, on a space ship...

You had took your time browsing around the room, curiously holding a few trinkets in an attempt to figure out what they were, time passed slowly and for a while, you began to wonder if this was just a set up for them to butt probe you like Jimin had original thought they would. Not that you would mind as much as him but- besides the point, the longer you were left with your thoughts, the more that piled up.

When the door abruptly opened you nearly jumped out of your skin, hurriedly setting down what looked like a portable flame thrower before whirling around, Jungkook looked a little timid as he smiled, “I’m sorry that took so long...Um...” He closed the door gently before he gestured, “Please, go ahead and rest, from my understanding...um...humans have a standard sleep cycle yes?”

You didn’t fully understand what he was asking besides if you slept at night, rubbing your neck you did as he gestured, taking a seat on the bed before you jumped a little as it did not feel like a normal bed, “Uh I guess...? Why...why didn’t you just leave? You...didn’t have to wake me.” You mumbled, scooping your feet up as you laid down, shifting a little as you tried to get comfortable.

The bed felt almost like a marshmallow, something in between water and memory foam as the bed moved in slow, lapping waves as you attempted to get comfortable again with a pout tugging on your lips.

Jungkook watched you with endearment before he laid on the bed next to you, “You have to stop moving, coranium matches the pattern of your body to keep everything aligned and slowly adjusts to the movement of your body throughout your sleep duration.”

You rolled onto your side to look at him as you curled up a little, his marks still a light pink and his smile a little shy as he spoke, “To answer your question I mean...I feel like it should be obvious, I want to make my bond with you so it was natural I wanted to take you with me. I don’t know Earth well enough to confidently navigate it on my own without getting lost. I couldn’t risk leaving you and then being unable to find my way back. As well as I knew I’d be able to learn English fast in the memoir chamber, so then we’d be able to talk…” he smiled a bit timidly, his eyes fondly washing over your face as you awkwardly scooted a little away from him.

His eyes downcasting a little at the gesture as he frowned, and once again, even despite speaking english now it didn’t help his case in looking like a kicked puppy, “Well...am I supposed to know what a memoir chamber is? And….bonding and...literally everything you guys have said thus far?”

Jungkook rested his chin on his hands as he hummed, thinking about your words carefully before he spoke, “The memoir chamber is in most Orionian ships, it helps us adapt to the planet around us and depending on what region we’re in, the language. Our kind carry human DNA- or...moreso the other way around, so inherently we know all Earth languages as they descended from Orionian dialect, but…” He scratched his cheek, marks glowing pink once more, “I had a difficult time studying earth languages in the academy. It’s unrealistic for us to know them all, so the Memoir serves as a rebrief to put in the language back into our minds.”

God what were you in now? A shitty sy-fy film? You rolled onto your back as you said no more, thinking about his answer for a good long minute before you parted your lips only to shut them...Hold on one damn minute- did he just insinuate his kind created humans? Knowing all languages? What!? “I don’t even know how to unpack that sentence…” You muttered, staring up at the ceiling which twinkled in a galaxy of constellations and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve assumed it was an open glass ceiling to outer space.

It aligned with nebula’s and stars, planets for what looked like miles and miles. You could stare at it for hours in awe, how did you not notice that until now.

“I could only imagine being human, it’s a lot to take in,” Jungkook offered a gentle smile, “As for bonding…” He was pink all over as he scratched his cheek again, eyes fluttering away from yours almost shyly, “It’s what it sounds like, when we Orionian’s find a person who we like and want to share our life with, we begin a bond, and it takes awhile for the bond to grow but once it’s finished, we’d complete it with a mating cycle, and then...We’re celestially bond together.” He mumbled a little shyly, his eyes looked like stars twinkling as he talked about it, almost in a dreamy fashion.

“....” You couldn’t even find the words to say anything before you muttered, “You’ve known me for a day…” True Jungkook was cute, but all of this stuff about bonding and space really made it difficult to grasp the concept in a way which wasn’t him basically proposing to you.

Jungkook looked as if he had been abruptly pulled from his little fantasy world as he frowned, propping himself on his forearm as he spoke, “Time is only a concept for Orionian’s, when we know who our bond is meant for, we just know. It doesn’t matter if I’ve known you a day or your whole life, my feelings won’t change. I want us to bond.” His voice lowered a little, his eyes doe-like and filled with a sugary sweetness as he closed the gap between you both.

You were speechless. Many times in your life you had felt this way, but genuinely, you had no words. An alien just professed his love to you within twenty four hours of knowing him all because...what…? You fed him twice? Let him sleep in your bed once? What had you possibly done for him to think you could be his...his wife!?

“I’m not getting married, I- I mean I’m flattered! I am.” You sat up, once again, pulling away from him as he mirrored you, his lips jutting into an almost frustrated pout, “But like...I just turned twenty one this year....I’m hardly a person let alone wife material.”

“Bonding is hardly even close to the equivalent of human marriage,” Jungkook wrinkled his nose, almost a little endeared, he knew little of human marriage from the media he had watched when you weren’t present, and while humans had similar ideas of romance, it was hardly comparable, he spoke gently, “It’s far more special and permanent. Being bonded is…” He closed his eyes, a half dimpled smile on his lips as he hummed, “It’s like feeling like the universe has completely aligned on your behalf, and that the planets and stardust gifted you a celestial mate who would never turn their back on you, who would always dry your tears and heal you when you’re hurt. The bond extends past this lifetime and into the next and so forth.”

“...You lost me at ‘more’ permanent…” For a woman with a whole baggage load of commitment issues Jungkook was really not selling this idea to you well, “Sorry but I think you got the wrong girl.” You could appreciate the bizarreness of this situation and admittedly you felt like you’d always have a superior ‘main character’ moment story to one up somebody with but this whole business about being stuck with someone for multiple lifetimes and having alien babies was really not something you could follow up with.

Jungkook looked severely hurt which made you do a double take, not quite anticipating such a pitiful reaction as his lips quivering and his eyes even looking somewhat glassy as he spoke, “O-oh...I see…”

wow way to make you feel like an asshole. He had shuffled a little curling up against himself as if trying to make himself appear small as he looked away from you. Sighing you ran a hand through your hair, well fuck, what did you have to lose at this point in your life?

“...Jesus christ, okay...what...what does...you know…” you coughed a little, rubbing your neck as Jungkook’s doe eyes looked at you timidly before darting away when you met his gaze, “What does this bonding shit entail anyway?”

Jungkook was incredibly attractive, there was no denying it and the worst that could happen would be things didn’t work and you just went back to normal non-tentacle men. Jungkook perked a little at your question, still seeming a bit reserved as he mumbled, “Well...bonding is a long process...it’s not something out of human fiction that just immediately happens. When a bond is first created it’s incredibly delicate, you have to be careful and make sure both partners dedicate time to strengthening the bond.”

Laying your head against your arms that were folded in front of you while listening intently you hummed, “And let’s say hypothetically, could the bond be broken?”

Jungkook’s expression crumpled a little as he mumbled, “It can be severed, but the more strengthened the bond is, the more painful it’ll be for both partners. But yes, it is possible. I should also mention a bond is only possible unless both partners are in agreement and want it just as much as the other.”

You hummed, thinking about his words, so technically it wasn’t really possible given both of you had different alignments right now, “Alright well, here on Earth we call it dating, which is a lot less intensive than that, so if you want me to do that then you’re gonna have to go by human standards first.” It was reasonable enough and a happy compromise.

You wouldn’t deny you felt a pull towards Jungkook, ever since he had arrived yesterday morning your life had been anything but normal and yet you embraced every twist and turn so far and...there was admittedly a secret giddy part of you that revelled in old childhood nostalgia that someone had actually fallen from the sky and would now show you a world of many possibilities outside of earth.

The only thing holding you back was the logic and reason that your family held and pushed onto you at a young age, long gone were the days of staring up at the stars in hopes of seeing something supernatural and daydreaming during recess about being whisked off earth. You didn’t know how to connect with that childlike side of yourself anymore, it had been so long since you bothered with those thoughts that now that the opportunity was presented to you, you genuinely didn’t know how to react.

Jungkook had immediately perked up his brows raised and immediate interest in his expression, “I’ll do it! If it means winning your affection,” his smile was a little toothy and innocent as he spoke, “How do humans date? What do they do?” He tilted his head in curiosity while waiting excitedly for your reply.

You couldn’t help but smile a little at how enthusiastic he was, “Well…” you drew a breath in thought, “It’s not too different then it is from now, we’ll go out to eat together, get to know each other, stuff like that.”

Jungkook deflated a little, confusion in his eyes as he frowned, “But that’s stuff we do now...as...friends…” his frown furthered on his lips, “What sets friends and dating apart if we do the same thing…?”

You rubbed your neck, beginning to get a little flustered at his question as you shifted a little, mumbling, “Well the difference is friends are strictly platonic, dating someone means you’re interested in them romantically and...you know...we hold hands...or cuddle or...I don’t know romantic shit…Stuff friends don’t do.”

When did Jungkook get closer to you? His head tilted in curiosity as he spoke, “...And? Is that it? I’m sorry,” he apologized a bit bashfully, looking rather pink, “I’m trying to discern possible differences in boundaries set between a regular human relationship compared to Orionian’s…I don’t want to do anything that might make you...uncomfortable…”

You stared at him for a good moment, as if trying to discern whatever he was trying to say without actually saying it, “Well...I’m not sure how different it can be…” Jungkook said nothing, fidgeting a little as you looked at him for a long moment, “...I’d tell you if you made me uncomfortable.” Was this...going where you thought it was going?

Jungkook shuffled a little closer, his nose nearly brushing yours and his lips that looked so soft jutted into a slight pout, his eyes could hardly meet yours as he timidly asked, “...How...intimate are humans in their relationships?”

Your face felt like it was on fire though as you muttered with raised brows, “Uh pretty hands on...if you wanna fuck me you can just ask.” You looked up at him, feeling a bit bold given he was a little more on the shy side, you could tell just him asking that had obviously taken a lot of courage on his part.

Jungkook’s marks had suddenly filtered from baby pink to a deep maroon, his face looked nothing except shy and a bit hazy as he mumbled, “Would you let me…? I don’t...exactly share the same anatomy as your male counterpart...Orionian’s...intimacy looks a bit different.”

You felt intrigued and horny at the same time, it was tentacles wasn’t it? Please god let it be the tentacles, “You can’t threaten me with a good time,” you laughed a little, trying to take a little bit of the nervous edge off Jungkook as you offered a small smile, “Just show me, I’m...what other humans would consider pretty kinky. Doubt it’ll scare me off.” You couldn’t admit that his tentacles were immediately making your panties soaked because god did you want to be filled up like a scared hentai girl right now.

You squeaked at Jungkook suddenly climbing on top of you, his eyes hazy and he pulled the sweatshirt over his head, revealing the strip of glowing maroon that led up the center of his arms and wrapped over his shoulders, his tentacles suddenly emerging from his back much to your horny excitement, “Our tendons are both are strongest and weakest point of our body.” Jungkook mumbled against your neck, the feeling of something extremely foreign wrapping around your thigh, almost something between like a soft silicon and jello substance.

Not sticky like you had anticipated, but soft enough that it could be almost considered wet, “They protect us but they’re also what we use to procreate with, if they’re cut off or majorly damaged, we become sterilized. My eggs…” He suddenly became a bit timid as he mumbled, “They aren’t fertile yet...But regardless I wouldn’t fill you unless we were bonded, so you won’t have to worry about impregnation. Intimacy is still an act of strengthening a bond though, so it’s utilized a lot at the beginning of an Orionian relationship.”

You weren’t fully paying attention at this point, too busy nearly drooling at the feeling of his tendon slithering along your clothes, “I can understand if you’d prefer to not do this though.” Jungkook seemed somewhat embarrassed and timid, his tendons slithering around your pajama band but doing nothing further.

“No!” He nearly jumped at how you almost yelled it, your eyes frantic and you were nearly dripping at how horny you were, your voice needy as you whined, “I’m literally a slut Jungkook, I’m more than happy to experiment.”

Jungkook didn’t need anymore confirmation then just that, his tentacle that had been playing with the band of your pajamas immediately pushing underneath it as you whined, your legs immediately parting for it as it ran up your panties, the soft wetness that ebbed from it soaking whatever was dry of your panties, was this arousal of his own? He moaned softly as he pressed his face into your neck, “I know you feel this is fast, but Orionian’s tend to not like to waste time.” His tentacles slid along your panties before pushing inside the band.

Your lips parted at the soft wet sensation of it gently prodding along your clit in exploration making a yelp escape you.

Jungkook jolted a little in concern as he looked down at you, somewhat shyly and his cheeks were a deep maroon much like his marks, “Keep…! Fuck!” You whined at the way his tentacles as if testingly flicked along your clit, another tentacle which had been floating behind him absently had suddenly emerged forward, making quick work of your pajamas and panties as the other continued working along your clit making you whimper as your back arched a little.

The second tendon slowly brushed along your soaked cunt, embarrassingly wet sounds could be heard throughout the room as Jungkook moaned in contentment, “This feels so nice,” he mumbled with a whine, the second tentacle which had been stroking you slowly wiggled against your entrance making you squeak. Your horniness couldn’t be put into words at how bad you wanted this man to shove all tentacles inside you.

Your lips immediately parting at the tip of the tentacle pushing inside you, it was too soft to be considered that of a toy or dildo but too firm to be anything foreign, you couldn’t resist propping yourself up onto your elbows, your legs spread as you looked down, your face twisting and cheeks throbbing at the lewd sight of two tentacles hard at work on your cunt, one continuously flicking your clit and rubbing along it while the other began to testingly thrust inside you.

Your lips dropped open as you moaned feeling Jungkook push it further and further inside you before giving it a testing wiggle, a scream nearly ripped from your throat at how it hit all the right spots.

Unable to even support yourself as you dropped back down with a whine as Jungkook quickly began to pick up the pace even more, “Fuck,” he moaned softly, the tentacle pulsed and throbbed as it squished and wiggled while being thrusted back and forth in short motions, your cunt was so tight and your walls kept trapping him further and further inside you as you whined, “Mm, females of my kind don’t have anything like this,” he moaned two more tentacles had suddenly appeared from his back, one pinning your wrists above your head and the other wandering to your flimsy shirt before pushing underneath it, and much to his delight Jungkook found nothing underneath except your soft breasts, “Nothing this- mmm, fuck,” it came out more of a whine this time as you felt his tentacles wiggling in delight at the way your cunt clenched around him, “small, and warm...Fuck,” Jungkook dipped his head, running a hand through his hair, the third tendon wrapped around your nipple making you whimper, jolting as your cunt squeezed around the tentacle that was beginning to roughly split apart your walls as it discovered your g-spot, your mouth parting as whined spilled from your lips at the insane feeling of the tip of his tentacles flicking up against it rapidly.

“Ah! Fuck fuck fuck, Jungkook!” You whined as your back arched, your eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head at how many sensations were going on, between him finding the sweet spot of your clit, the tip of his tentacle flicking up into your g-spot the other one squeezing with just the right amount of pressure on your nipple.

Jungkook’s lips parted and his eyes were hazy but in awe at the way your body contorted, your small little walls nearly entrapping his tentacle as you came harshly, whined and whimpers escaping you as he forcefully kept flicking up into your g-spot, his other rubbing gently against your clit as your body frantically moved, yet your hips kept thrusting up to try and take more of his tendon as you whined, “Fuck…! Jungkook! Ah..!” Jungkook moaned softly as he gave you just what you wanted, pushing himself further inside you until he was dangerously close to your cervix.

His tentacle was soft enough that no pain was even involved as he kept wiggling it into you, soundless moans escaped you as your cunt began wrapping convulsing around him, your clit burning in pleasure due to sensitivity as he kept letting the soft tendon rub against the tender bud.

“Fuck!” You whined, liquid suddenly spewing from your cunt much to Jungkook’s surprise, his tentacle had immediately restricted at the feeling leaving your cunt feeling empty and tears nearly escaping yours eyes in frustration due to it despite his second tendon continually abusing your clits sweet spot, within the second the first tentacle entered your once more pushing with no hesitation right back to its original position as Jungkook began wiggling once again with short thrusts.

Your walls kept squeezing around him causing him to moan as he whined, “You- you need to stop doing that...feels too good.” He mumbled shyly against your skin as you nearly convulsed in pleasure at the way his third tendon was wrapped around your nipple, giving the bit of pressure that had your cunt squeezing around his tentacle, too busy in your own pleasure to care about what he wanted, your hand wrapped around his throat making his eyes widen and his lips part submissively, “I’m gonna keep doing what I want baby- fuck...I think you like it when my little cunt squeezes around it.” You purposely clenched around his tentacle and you could physically feel it throb inside you.

Jungkook’s lips trembled a little a moan escaped him at your hand squeezing lightly around his throat his tentacle immediately fucking you even faster in comply as your lips parted in glee, your hips rolling a little to slide along the slick thick tendon, “Thats right baby boy, I bet you’ve never felt a cunt like this before huh?” You let out a shaky cackle as your hand sadistically squeezed harder around his neck.

His gaze dropped and he only whined, quickly crumbling to your dominant hands that only excited you further, it was one thing to cross off your bucket list getting fucked by an alien, it was two being able to dom one, “Oh am I suddenly in control now?” You mockingly pouted before a twisted smirk curled on your face at how Jungkook wouldn’t meet your eyes any longer.

Power was practically leaking in your veins, you were getting fucked by a tentacle alien and he was a shy little sub? Your squeezed harsher around his neck, a whiney moan suddenly escaping him as his tentacle harshly pulsed inside you before it frozen, his face buried into your neck, impatient and now knowing you could boss him around freely your hips lifted, squelching and slipping around the tendon with ease as his lips trembled against your neck, “Mmm! P-please! You have to slow down…” he whimpered a little at how cruel you were being with him.

You could care less in this moment though, too busy living out your dream fantasy bucking your hips against the soft subtle material, your cunt squeezing around him as you moaned softly.

Your moan twisted to a growl at the feeling of his tentacle pausing in your clit, your hand finding his hair as you harshly balled it into your hand, “I didn’t give you permission to stop.” Jungkook’s gaze lowered and his eyes a little watery despite the angry pout on his face.

“You aren’t listening to me.” He mumbled stubbornly and your lips twitched, outwardly showing displeasure but inwardly seeking the chase he was trying to give. Jungkook fumbled with you had pushed away, briefly his tendons pulled away in semi surprise, at first assuming you had taken his shy words the wrong way but he was quickly mistaken when he was shoved onto the bed, a whine escaping him as the tentacles quickly adjusted to be semi flattened. His lips were quivering at the sight of your naked body straddling him and your hand on his jaw, “Truthfully, I don’t think you want me to listen baby.” You pouted mockingly, the feeling of his stretched tentacles seekingly wrapping around your thighs, “Open.”

Jungkook’s lips parted a little, his eyes watering and looking a little confused at your words, but you had took advantage of the opportunity, spitting into his mouth as he suddenly whined, his ears bright red following along with the magenta color coursing through his body as your hand wrapped around his throat in a firm grip, “Good boy.” You smiled loosely, wiping a stray bit of saliva from his lip as he whined, a tentacle beginning to stroke against your soaked cunt once more but this time he did nothing except in hopes of an invitation.

“Such a good boy, go on, I know you want to.” You cooed out, your head hanging a little and your lips parting at the feeling of the tentacle plunging back inside your warm walls with a loud squelch, “Stay still.” You commanded sharply and with a noisy whine from Jungkook as he obediently listened, you could feel the foreign tendon inside you pulsing still as if it nearly killed him to do so. Your hips steadily began to move along the tentacle, your cunt clenching around it as you took more of him it only got fatter and thicker the more you took.

“Ahh, fuck. That’s it baby, c’mon keep filling me up. I know you want to. I can see it in your face.” You taunted, feeling his tentacle doing a test wiggle inside you as you slid along it, arousal coating him as he whined, you had a great view of his other tentacles sliding from under his back and extending upward, the second quickly made way for your clit much to your excitement, your lips parted and a whine escaping you as it kept rubbing into your sweet spot it had previously discovered.

You were too busy trembling and moaning, attempting to fight off another orgasm at the feeling of your clit almost feeling like it was being ate out at how soft the tip of his tentacle was gently lapping against it and a soft wet arousal of his own leaking from the tip, you had bounced against his tendon in short motions, craving all of him inside you as your body began to convulse, your hands balling against his chest with a whine at how difficult it was to stop yourself from cumming immediately.

Jungkook wasn’t letting go without a fight though, a third tentacle had surprised you, pushing between the cheeks of your ass making you nearly gasp a whine, “Fuck! Fuck, please.” You mumbled in a moment of weakness, giving your consent that you’d like to trust he’d be able to make this feel good. Jungkook didn’t hesitate for a second, the tentacle oozed a slippery liquid, his own arousal along your puckered rim. You were almost too fucked out to even pay attention, your body busy still riding him and trying to focus on anything but the feeling of the slippery tentacle flicking at your clit and finding nearly every pleasurable nerve physically possible.

It was difficult to miss the third one pushing slowly into your ass as your lips jumbled something nearly incomprehensible, your body collapsing semi against him, only being held up by your weak forearms, “Mmph! Fuck baby keep going, just like that. Such a good boy for me.”

Jungkook squeaked out what sounded like a pleasant noise at the praise, perhaps sensing your body beginning to crumble as his tentacles took back over, quickly thrusting inside you once more and wiggling to his heart's pleasure as drool nearly dropped from your lips. Unable to even do anything or say anything with two tentacles plunged inside you.

The tip of the tentacle was just narrow enough to slip inside your ass with a gentle sting but pleasurable enough to make your toes curl and whines escape you at the feeling of the force of his thrusts on either side of your body. His second was still lapping up around your clit, finding that perfect spot that nearly made your vision go white and you weren’t sure what escaped your throat other than possibly the best orgasm you would ever experience in your life.

And it didn’t stop after a second, it just kept going with his tentacles drilling inside you and lapping around your delicate hyper sensitive clit as you whined and cried against him. Jungkook moaned softly as you felt what potentially might have been a second tentacle greedily pushing inside your cunt, whimpers escaping you at how harshly he was thrusting up inside you and how stretched your body was.

Your mouth parting at the feeling of the forth tentacle pushing its way to meet the first as you squeaked and whined against him, a tentacle wrapping around your waist to hold up your lower body that nearly collapsed as your vision blurred with tears at how hard you were being fucked. Jungkook’s eyes were shut tightly and his hands had finally grabbed your waist as extra support as his third tentacle wiggled its way further into your ass. The pleasurable sting becoming more and more noticeable as you cried out at the feeling of one tentacle flicking up against your g-spot and the other harshly thrusting into you while your clit was hypersensitive at the feeling of being rubbed and flicked.

Your last orgasm couldn’t even compete with this one as you cried out, body convulsing and cunt tightening as you nearly scrambled almost looking possessed to the unknown eye, your body had clenched up so hard at being so filled you hadn’t even heard the sharp whine from Jungkook. Hot liquid suddenly spurted everywhere the majority of it inside you but some getting on you, over the bed, everywhere.

Jungkook whimpered and whined, digging his face into your neck and his tentacles were pulsing sharply as if literally pumping out every drop of liquid they could inside you. You were so fucked out you could hardly even ask what in the actual hell he just injected inside you. You had already been tired before but your body was burning and aching, feeling as if you had literally been ripped to pieces.

At least you finally got a piece of that tentacle action.

You were not someone that fucked and then immediately slept afterwards, typically after a one night stand, depending on your relation with the person you would either ghost them by pretending to go to the bathroom, talk and hang out afterwards, or go get something to eat together, or by yourself, you weren’t picky.

Rubbing your blurry eyes you yawned, your body aching with even the slightest movement, Jungkook was the first man who had ever fucked you so hard, you had little to no choice but to fall asleep afterwards, you probably couldn’t even stand if you wanted too. He was curled up against your chest at the moment, his head pressed into your breasts looking way too content at the moment.

Your eyes trailed down at his fluffy raven hair before down the warm tawny skin of his back, something in your chest stirring, it felt like it was almost physically tugging you closer to his body, your hand finding its way to his hair making him stir a little. Jungkook’s arms wiggled against your waist to make himself comfortable once more before relaxed with a content sigh.

The marks on his back glowed a sentient purple, you had never gotten a good look at his back before.

And while this wasn’t that great of a position to view, you were still curious with what you could see, they formed two long strips down his back widening a fair bit and they stopped just at the smallest part of his waist. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve remarked that it looked like he had wings ripped from his back.

As morbid as it sounded, and that is of course if they glowed like this. Jungkook really was the prettiest thing you had ever seen, your hand hadn’t even meant to pull from his hair down his neck, you couldn’t help the tug in your chest wanting to touch.

However the moment your fingers grazed over the mark that covered his left shoulder blade Jungkook nearly flew out of your arms making you jolt in just as much surprise as him, his lips parted and he had sat up, gaze sharp as he looked around as if for any possible intruders. Slowly as he woke up though he came to the realization it was just you and him, your smile becoming somewhat sheepish as you mumbled, “Um, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” You cleared your throat feeling bad now, was it just that sensitive? You might not know much about Orionian’s but you could take a guess and assume that was the opening to where his tentacles laid dormant, and given they were also how they procreated...It was natural Jungkook was probably a little defensive about them being touched.

Jungkook said nothing though, only staring at you for a long moment before he whined a little, suddenly crawling back up to you before collapsing on top of you as you huffed, “You can’t startle me like that, my scaling is sensitive.” He mumbled a little shy, grabbing your hand as he placed it back on top of his head obviously wanting affection.

Your fingers dug back into his scalp making a pleasant noise escape him as his body relaxed once more, “...Scaling?” Your brows furrowed at his words, complying with his silent demand to have his hair played with as he curled up against you, his lips tugged into a smile as he rested his face between your breast.

“Yeah, my scales.” Jungkook nodded as he held up his arm, pointing at the glowing marks making you frown, that...looked nothing like scales....Jungkook smiled a little as he rested back down while explaining, “There filled with hyper plasma so depending on the hormonal chemistry of my body will change colors.” You got that part, even before he could speak English, but still...when you thought of scales, you thought of stuff like fish and...scaly things. Not aliens.

Jungkook only smiled happily as he looked up at you, it looked like thousands of stars twinkling in his eyes and the dim lights reflected off his iridescent skin, little tones of purple and blue could be spotted as he lifted his hand up to cup your cheek, his fingers carefully trailing down your jawline. There was a wave in your chest, something strong like...the only thing you could describe was pure happiness, “Hey what did you blow inside?” You hadn’t even meant to ask that question but it had abruptly crossed your mind.

Jungkook’s gaze faltered a little, his scales suddenly turning bright pink and his bashfully lowered his gaze, pressing his cheek on your chest as he mumbled, “It was just plasma, it’s what helps carry eggs when they’re released but...I already told you...my eggs aren’t ready yet. You have no possible chance of getting pregnant without my prior knowledge.”

His fingers tethered against your stomach as if saddened at the idea that his future kin weren’t in your stomach, a wave of sadness fleeting inside your chest briefly as you frowned, why did you feel so odd? You weren’t even the least bit sad about not being pregnant.

“Okay...good I was just..wondering since…” You coughed a little, not finishing your sentence which you were originally going to say because he used you like an actual cum dump- not that you minded. But still. It was good to know. Jungkook said no more, only burying into your chest with a pouty whine.

Yawning you stretched out looking around before grabbing your phone which had somehow made it alive on your night stand, your notifications flooded with Jimin’s drunk texting on where you went last night and why you weren’t home...Wait, your eyes darted to the time, it was noon?! You had a lecture in half an hour!

“Fuck! I have to get to class!” You immediately jolted up making Jungkook whine as he was jostled onto the bed as you limped along in search of your clothes, your body aching and resisting with each fumble before you nearly collapsed out of fatigue while grabbing your panties.

“Can’t you just stay? Just for a little longer?” Jungkook mumbled, his lips in a large puppy like pout as he held out his hand to you, something stirring in your chest that wanted to just curl back up against him, his eyes doe like and soft, almost pleading for you to cuddle back up against him.

“I have midterms coming up Jungkook, I really can’t afford to skip class.” You offered an apologetic smile, “Besides it’s not like we can’t go get something to eat later or anything.” Pulling your pants up you wobbled to the door, frowning as you pulled your sweatshirt back over your head, where was the door handle…?

“..B-but!” Jungkook fumbled as he pulled his shirt over his head before hurrying over to you, “Just five more minutes? Or two? Please…!” There was something urgent in his voice as his lips trembled as if he would be devastated if you left.

Examining the door your lips parted as you pushed the button on the wall, jolting a little as the door slid open, “Jungkook,” You paused briefly, feeling a dull ache in your chest, a brief desire to do as pleaded as you looked up at him, “I really have to go to class okay? I’ll drop by later when I’m finished for the day I’m sure you...have stuff you need to talk about with your...um...kin…” You raised your brow a little awkwardly before you back walking down the hallway, something inside the back of your head almost tempted to stay with him.

He looked so panicked and whiny, it made you feel bad for having to go, and furthermore you secretly wished you could stay longer but you couldn’t afford to miss class with midterms so close.

If your memory was correct this should lead to…! Aha, you felt victorious at the sight of the main, living area? The circular table was towards the smaller three step ledge that went up into the control room and the purple bonsai-like plant which had just been freshly pruned sat delicately on the other side of the room.

“No! I....Can I come with you then? And then we can come back here together later?” Jungkook pleaded, his lips trembling and his eyes almost watery as you paused with a sigh, he was really tugging on your heart strings huh...It was almost easier to deny him back when he was unable to actually speak his wants to you.

“Jungkook I- I mean I guess you could…? But like, it’s just lecture, it’s boring, I have to be focused the whole time and no offense but...I feel like if you came I wouldn’t focus.” You pulled a little away from him with an awkward smile while silently hoping the door had been fixed.

“Morning you two,” You turned around at the sight of Namjoon appearing from the large opening of the control room Taehyung who still looked sour following after him only to lean against the wall with crossed arms, Namjoon stepped down the three steps as he offered a polite smile, “I hope you slept well, I’m sure it’s a lot different compared to human dorms.”

You looked away from Namjoon unable to speak at the question of having slept well, you hardly slept half the night after getting your back blown out, but he was right, it was nothing like human- in any aspect whatsoever, whether it was the bed or who you got fucked by last night.

“It was fine...um the door....Is it fixed?” You pointed your thumb behind your shoulder as you offered a weak smile.

Namjoon nodded stepping closer before he abruptly paused, his brows furrowing before he looked between you and Jungkook without so much as a word, it made you somewhat self conscious as you shuffled in your spot at nobody volunteering to get the door open, “Yeah, it’s fixed, umm…” His smile was a little tense before he looked between you and Jungkook, “Are you both going out? Already?”

Jungkook refused to look his elder in the eyes, his lips plush and pouty, hair dusting over his eyes as he shuffled in his spot refusing to answer whatever unasked question his elder had, “Uh yeah, I’m going to class, Jungkook can stay here though, I’ll be back later.” You shrugged, not understanding what their problem was.

Taehyung had not interjected into the conversation yet, his dark hair brushing over his eyes only in the opposite effect of Jungkook, making him look as if he had a death warrant with your name on it, “And leave Jungkook alone?” He gritted his teeth looking like he was ready to snarl at you, your lips quirked a little and your brow lifted in confusion, wasn’t that typically what people meant when they said they had to leave…?

“Uh yeah, and I’ll come back…?” You trailed off, making it sound more like a question then a statement before Taehyung suddenly pushed off the wall, his walk was by no means in any hurry, but his shoulders were squared and his steps were paced with determination that had you taking a step back at the sight of him not stopping until he was right in front of you.

The energy of the room had gone tense before Taehyung snarled, “You bonded with my little brother and now you’re going to leave him!?”

You shrieked at suddenly being shoved against the wall, your ribs throbbing in pain as Taehyung’s hand wrapped around your throat, crushing your windpipe as you gagged, “Humans really are pathetic selfish people.” Tentacles suddenly wrapped around Taehyung’s hand before he was ripped away from you, hot red scales were a blur as Jungkook stood in front of you protectively.

Your hands rubbing your sore throat as you leaned against the wall gasping for air, “Stay out of this!” Jungkook growled, his lips twitching and his eyes burning into his brothers, “This doesn’t involve you, let me sort it out and if you ever fucking touch my mate like that again I won’t hesitate to rip your eggs straight out of your utaria.”

You jolted at the sight of Taehyung lashing out at Jungkook, both of them slamming into the wall near the hallway as they grappled and yet you could only stare in shock at what had just happened and what you had just heard. Namjoon was immediately between them both separating the two as he growled, “Taehyung that wasn’t necessary! I doubt she even realizes what happened!” Namjoon immediately twisted towards Jungkook with a scowl, “And you! What did I tell you last night?”

Jungkook’s jaw was clenched, his scales a hot burning red that matched Taehyung’s and yet his eyes couldn’t meet Namjoon’s, his lips twitching a little as he glared into the wall, his expression slowly melting as Namjoon snapped, “What did I tell you!? Why can’t you two ever listen for once? If you had we probably wouldn’t even be stuck on Earth right now! This is your mess Jungkook, I told you it wasn’t a good idea to bond this early on in our stay on Earth.”

Jungkook’s expression had turned neutral but something in his eyes still seemed bitter as he stared at the ground now, perhaps too scared to look up at you, who had backed away from all the men in shock. You...but...Jungkook said…The silence set in and slowly each brother turned their gaze towards you before Jungkook was the last, his face filled with remorse at your expression as your lips parted, “You…! You told me-” Your lips parted variously before you finally forced out a sentence, “You lied to me!”

“I didn’t!” Jungkook immediately hurried over to you, his expression filled with guilt and desperation, “I- Y/n I wasn’t even aware we had bonded until Taehyung pointed it out! I’m sorry I had no idea I…!” All you heard was excuse after excuse though, something indescribable filled your chest and your vision blurred in anger.

“I’m going! I can’t…! I can’t even look at you right now Jungkook!” Upset felt like it had magnified tenfold in your chest as you rushed down the metal stairs, punching against the button before the door opened, your throat felt squeezed and like you were suffocating as you ran as far and fast as your legs could take you. What was happening to you?

“I’m fine…”

Jimin and Seokjin exchanged glances, light poured in from the opened door behind them of your bedroom, the blanket wrapped around your body has you held it up above your nose, “Uh don’t lie bitch,” Jimin quirked a brow, his lips twitching in anger at just the sight of you trying to tell such an obvious lie, “It’s been three days since...whatever happened with JK- “Jungkook,” “I don’t give a fuck what his name is, you’ve been a recluse ever since, what happened?”

Just the mention of Jungkook’s name made your chest physically ache as you curled further into yourself, you weren’t in physical pain, you couldn’t even fully describe it.

All of your feelings just felt so amplified, like they swirled at just the surface of your chest and ready to burst out at any given moment. It felt like a physical string around your heart that squeezed and tugged harder and harder that left you in a depressed state with no energy left to do anything except what you had been doing.

Weakly sleeping half the time or scrolling on your phone in a useless attempt to think about anything other than Jungkook. You couldn’t even understand how you felt so attached to him and how much your body ached to just be wrapped up in his arms, but you were still so upset at what had happened.

Questions swirled in your mind and to which you didn’t have the answer too and it made you even more upset that you wouldn’t get answers unless you went back, “Y/n, we’re just worried.” Seokjin raised his brows, his expression apprehensive but softened at the weak state you were in, “You haven’t been out of your room ever since the morning after the party. Midterms are just around the corner, I doubt you slack off for a shit reason.”

You only curled up further before you sighed, closing your eyes as you finally caved in and mumbled an explanation as to what had happened and what you were now suffering under. Seokjin seemed more calm but Jimin’s lips were twitching in anger as he scowled, “You’re joking! Well let’s just go and demand he cut whatever alien ties he has on you.”

You knew he was just trying to help but you only shook your head, “...Taehyung said I was the one that had apparently formed the bond, I didn’t even know that was possible.” You mumbled, you buried into your pillow, a feeling of guilt building into your chest as you tried to forget the ghost image of Jungkook’s hurt eyes in your mind.

“Well it’s obviously affecting you mentally and physically, I mean seriously, you haven’t showered in days, you aren’t eating, Y/n…” Seokjin kneeled down, a frown on his face, “You need to swallow your pride, as stubborn as you are, and go talk to Jungkook about this. We’ll come with you, you probably won’t even have the energy to get there, but he’s the only one who can help.”

You managed to roll over to your side, your back facing them both now as you pulled the blanket over your head, you didn’t want to face Jungkook again, you weren’t sure you were ready to. You had so many mixed feelings and you weren’t even sure what to begin on asking questions.

Neither said anymore before you heard Seokjin reluctantly sigh, “I’ll leave it for tonight, but tomorrow morning you’re giving us directions and we’re going to get this sorted.” They both left shortly after and closed the door sinking the room back into a depth of darkness. A heavy weight back on your chest and sudden ache filling you as you curled up, a dull sense of urgency inside you but you couldn’t distinguish what for. It felt like you needed to cry even despite not feeling sad, but maybe as a way to just release this energy.

But you didn’t do anything besides lay on your back, staring up at the ceiling as you sighed, trying to ignore the dull ache of your head, what a shit show. If you had known what your life would come to by just trying to be a good person, you would’ve left him in that ditch. ----

It felt like your body was being dragged through the mud, through the fire and hell maybe even gitting shit on at this point, “This is so stupid.” You mumbled, curled up in your hoodie as you hugged your knees into your chest in the back of Seokjin’s car.

“You’re the one that fucked an alien,” Jimin snorted, twisting in his seat as he cocked a brow, “Which, what possessed you to do that seriously? Your stupid little hentai fantasies?” He stared at you with a bizarre expression as you snorted weakly.

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Fucking knew it,” Jimin collapsed back in his seat, “We could get our assholes probed by aliens now because she couldn’t keep her panties on at the sight of a slimy tentacle.” He raised his hands dramatically and you could’ve sworn you heard Seokjin try to keep from laughing at you both.

“They’ll probe you with their tentacles too, apparently they make their own lube home made so they’ll slide it right in no problem.” If you had the energy you would’ve died laughing at the way Jimin whipped around in his seat in horror.

“No fucking way. You WILLINGLY let him do that to you?”

You couldn’t stop the weak laugh escaping you as you leaned your head against the window, “I’m a slut.” You shrugged before you lifted your head a little, “Right there! It should be in the field. I think it has some sort of cloaking shield or something.” Seokjin pulled off on the old winding back road which looked familiar enough.

He hadn’t been going fast to begin with and you had already stopped twice and the two other fields had been empty so this one had to be it, and if it wasn’t then it was safe to say you broken Jungkook’s heart right in two and he and his other space fuckboy brothers left Earth for good. Which you hoped not because you felt like you were in a weird limbo between life and death at the moment.

Stepping out of the car you paused as you heaved a breath, leaning against the car as you sighed, the energy feeling like it had been sucked straight out of your soul every passing minute. Jimin looked at you mildly concerned as you waved him off, slowly pushing yourself straight up as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

The comforts of your hoodie keep you warm as you ignore the dull ache in your chest, Seokjin and Jimin both kept close as you all looked like idiots wandering around in an empty field. The empty field however, upon stepping forward had suddenly blurred before the familiar sight of the ship came into view. Seokjin and Jimin were dumbfounded at the sight as they both stared.

You only trudged forward towards the door before you slammed your hand against the metal door, “Well? What are you both doing just standing there?” You asked with a furrowed brow.

“Well sorry I didn’t fuck an alien the first chance I got.” Jimin fumbled out with a huff as he hurried over along with Seokjin.

The door had immediately been opened to a relieved looking Namjoon, his eyes briefly landing on Jimin and Seokjin warily as he spoke, “I’m glad you came back! Come on, hurry in.” He ushered you in, “...I’m assuming these are your...friends…?”

“Best friends, roommates, the same guys that also allowed your little space fuckboy to stay with us.” Jimin growled out as he crossed his arms, standing as a big brother you never asked for as Seokjin snorted.

“Chill,” He shoved Jimin a little who only grumbled under his breath before he spoke, “I’m Seokjin and that’s Jimin, we’re Y/n’s roommates we’re already uh...aware of what you guys are we just...we don’t know what’s going on, we just want Y/n to be okay.”

Namjoon nodded slowly, still a little wary but it was to be expected, he said no more as he widened the latch for the three of you, “Y/n left right at the beginning stage of their bond when it’s imperative that the newly bonded couple stay together and establish a stable connection. If not, it becomes unstable and drains the life force out of both individuals causing a wide variety of ailments and illnesses to take over. It’s good you guys came back when you did, Jungkook is doing even worse sense he was the Si in the bond.”

“What is she doing back here?” Your lips twitched a little at the snarl from Taehyung who had shot up from his seat at the table, his eyes glaring holes into you and honestly, if he could vaperize you into dust at the moment you were sure he probably would.

“Here to break the little probe ass connection your fuckboy put on her,” Jimin snapped back unappreciative at someone talking this way to you especially in the condition you were in right now.

Taehyung’s lip twitched as he shot out of his seat, “My little brother may be naive but he had good intentions and she took advantage of his fragile state! He wasn’t in any sort of headspace to do anything!” You only curled away from Taehyung with mixed feelings, you wouldn’t necessarily describe Jungkook’s state of mind at the time, fragile as it was just horny.

Namjoon sighed as he looked at Seokjin before at you and then the two feuding men who were practically glaring into one another, “Taehyung, don’t do anything irrational, I’m going to get Jungkook.” Namjoon disappeared and it was quiet inside the ship as a tension took over the room.

You tried your best to ignore it as you slumped against the wall, listening to the whirling on the interior running. Not a minute later you heard a loud flutter of steps as you looked up, Jungkook’s hair had been ruffled and he had looked extraordinarily tired, his scales however were lit up a sky blue, his lips parted as if trying to figure out if you were real or not before he hurried to you.

His arms wrapping around you and a small whimper escaping him as his nose rubbed into your neck, your face pressed into his chest with a sigh of relief, the dull ache in your chest fading quickly as you basked in the warmth of Jungkook’s arms. You had hugged many people in your life before and sure it was nice, but you couldn’t even describe the wash of comfort and love that radiated through your entire being at being curled up in this man’s arms.

Jungkook’s nose nudged at your neck a little and buried himself into your embrace as his fingers fiddled with the thick material of your hoodie, “Jungkook,” Jungkook shuffled a little, his body practically wrapped around you as his eyes slowly looked up from his content figure to meet Namjoon’s gaze, “You both should go lay down and begin to properly set your bond together, I’m sure you’re both exhausted.”

Jungkook nodded wordlessly, perhaps not trusting himself to speak as he began to lead you towards his pod, “Woah, wait hold on.” Jimin cut in only for a snarl like growl to escape Jungkook, tentacles suddenly shooting from his back protectively pulling towards the front of his body to create a barrier between you and any threat that might take you away from him.

“Woah holy fuck!” Jimin nearly screeched, holding his hands up and freaking out a little at seeing a killer glare on such an innocent face, “We didn’t come here for this…! What, what do you mean, set a bond? I don’t want Y/n out of our sight…!”

Jungkook’s lip twitched in annoyance as he set his chin on your shoulder, his arms tightening around your waist and you could see the red glow of his scales slowly deepening further into a dark maroon, he did not look happy.

Namjoon put up a hand, offering a tense smile, “All that entails is them being together and being close, they need to stabilize their bond. Once it’s set they can figure out whether they want to...bond further or…” Namjoon didn’t finish his sentence, is eyes warily lingering on the younger’s expression which was sharp and annoyed, “...You get the idea, I would advise against stopping him, trying to separate them now when he just got her back….I can’t guarantee I’ll keep you both alive.”

Jimin and Seokjin shared a wary glance before stepping aside, Jungkook’s gaze broody as he watched them sharply as he trudged you both forward, his tentacles still out and floating behind him now as if ready to strike on contact. The tension didn’t leave until you were back into his pod once more, the room having not been changed except for a lot more clutter accumulation- much like your own room.

You hadn’t even had the chance to open your mouth before you were suddenly picking up, your legs wrapping around Jungkook as you squirmed, “Jungkook!” You squeaked out, his hands gripping your ass tightly but his face kept nudging into your neck as he whined, the killer aura he had not seconds ago immediately disappearing, “Don’t ever do that again,” You were nearly crushed when you were dropped onto the bed before Jungkook collapsed on top of you, “Please.” Guilt nearly devoured your heart at the way Jungkook held back a sob, his voice pleading and cracked, “It’s not fair! You-! You can’t just do this to me then leave. Never again.” You felt warm substance dripping onto your skin and your heart was pounding in your chest.

An innate need coursing through your veins to dry his tears as you did so, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry okay?” You whispered out, your hands cupping his cheeks, that iridescent glow on his skin and his eyes watery and big, “I’m just…! I was just scared, I didn’t know what was going on and I just thought I needed time to think. I had no idea what the effects were and what would happen if I left. I’m not going to leave okay? I won’t leave.”

Jungkook only closed his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks and you couldn’t help but watch in a melancholy awe at an almost glittery substance filling his tears, making the stains on his skin glisten and glitter under the dark lights of his room, Jungkook said no more, perhaps not trusting himself too and only curled himself further against your as your hands soothingly ran through his hair as his body melted into yours. No words were further spoken between you both as you curled against him once more, your nose burying in his hair with the innate need to comfort him.

Feelings were too intense and magnified, as if you could feel every speck of hurt and misery Jungkook had suffered without you and despite being cognitively aware you in any other case wouldn’t be like this, you still were. You didn’t understand what happened, or how it happened, but what you did know was that despite all of the uncertainty, Jungkook needed you.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, neither of you had talked for what seemed like hours, only staying close in one another's arms, and slow but surely, that unstable feeling in your chest was beginning to fade and was replaced by what you could only describe as a warm, bright thrum.

Both of you were awake, but Jungkook’s eyes looked far away, his face still laid against your chest as you tenderly stroked through his hair, “Jungkook,” He didn’t respond right away, shifting a little before those doe eyes looked up at you, his lips jutted into a soft pout that nearly broke your heart out of guilt, “What....what’s going on? I don’t understand anything.” Your fingers delicately traced his prominent cheekbones, his face immediately nuzzling into your hand as his eyes closed.

Jungkook’s lips trembled only a little as he mumbled, “...I...I’m not sure...I told you before that in order for a bond to be created it has to be wanted between both parties involved,” His nose nudged your hand as you tenderly thumbed his cheek, “Wh-which means...even if it wasn’t a surface thought you still energetically reached out and initiated the bond making you the Fi and me the Si since I accepted without realizing.”

His lips went pouty before he pressed his head back against your chest as you stared down at him mildly confused, perhaps realizing this he spoke further, “Fi and Si are considered sacred opposites, in a bond both people take on one or the other, the initiator the Fi and the receiver the Si, it makes sense you didn’t feel as much as I did, the Fi in the bond isn’t affected nearly as heavily as the Si is because you were the one who created the bond.”

You still didn’t quite understand other than this being a Yin and Yang equivalent with a dash of omegaverse on the side, but then again, if humans had descended from Orionian’s then the apple truly didn’t fall too far from the tree.

“And...the Fi is what…? The more dominant one?” You quirked a brow, a smile threatening to tug on your lips as Jungkook looked up at you, an unfair pout of his face as he set his chin on your chest, leading you to believe there was some merit to your words.

“Not exactly, it just means you were the one who established the bond, making you the one who, in more primal words, the caretaker. With newly bonded couples, it’s imperative that you be together for the first few days to stabilize the bond. Si tends to be more....” He shifted a little, his scales becoming pink as he buried into your chest, “...Clingy...and Fi tends to facilitate and care for Si while the bond stabilizes.”

Your hand made its way back to his hair as you tenderly combed through the soft silky locks as Jungkook’s relaxed back against you, practically melting into your touch as you hummed, “And...if it isn’t stabilized?”

Jungkook shifted a little against you as he mumbled, “...Well, both people become....I don’t know how to truly describe, if a bond isn’t stabilized...it becomes difficult to distinguish your own feelings from your partners, and with the bond unstable it causes an emptiness to fill both which causes sadness and pain, but because feelings can be mutually felt, it magnifies those feelings tenfold...Until eventually….” Jungkook frowned as he shrugged a little timidly, “Both go insane, or end up commiting suicide out of despair. Si feels it a lot more intensely then Fi though because of being the one who was tethered into the bond rather than creating it.”

Oh…

You said nothing, feeling even worse now knowing what had happened and what you could have possibly caused, not only this but for Jungkook to suffer through so much all because you couldn’t just hear him out for less than five minutes, “Don’t blame yourself,” Jungkook sat up a little to look at you earnestly, as if knowing exactly what you felt despite not saying anything, “You don’t know anything about Orionian’s, I...I should’ve handled everything better then I did…” His gaze lowered looking a little glassy as he sighed, “Just...please never do that again.” He collapsed back against you with a quiet mumble, “I was miserable.”

“I won’t baby.” You ushered softly, pressing your lips into his hair as he basked in your love, the silence taking over once more as you relaxed back down against him, intending on letting yourself fall asleep again before you felt a low rumble in your stomach, before you sighed...Well he did say since you were….Fi...that you were supposed to be a caretaker....?

“Hey, I’m starving...you want me to get us something to eat?” You sat up a little as Jungkook shifted beneath you with a whine, his cheeks puffing a little as he huffed, saying nothing but you had a suspicion that he was definitely hungry, “I’m getting us something to eat, what do you want babe?” You got out of bed making Jungkook scramble with another whine.

He immediately latched himself to you as you sighed, “Then we’re going together. Do you guys even have human food here?”

“We have plamatic barrettes.” Jungkook perked a little in excitement as you frowned.

“Can...Are...are they edible for humans?” You raised a brow as you opened the door, doing an awkward waddle as Jungkook back hugged you, happily nuzzling into your neck before he frowned.

“Well...um…” He rubbed his head as you tutted, it wasn’t that you weren’t willing to try it but you were really craving some fries right now and whatever it was they ate, didn’t sound even close to a potato.

“We can try it later babe, I brought my wallet so we can go get something to eat, if Jimin and Seokjin haven’t left it’ll be like a two minute drive.” You shrugged as you both entered the common space.

“You both aren’t going anywhere.” Namjoon had been running around with Taehyung while Jimin and Seokjin were working frantically on...what looked like an engine box as the man turned around with a serious expression making you and Jungkook twist into concern, “The Arbitrators are here on Earth, which means we’re leaving.”

You didn’t quite understand the gravity of the situation but...you had a feeling this wasn’t an ideal situation.

#bts #bts fanfic #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #jungkook x y/n #jungkook smut #alien!jungkook #bts imagine #jungkook scenario

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eliemo · 4 years ago

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What's Important to Me is You

Summary: Roman just wants Logan to hear him. Logan just wants Roman to listen to him. It seems all they’ve managed to do is hurt each other.

Or: Roman knows he talks a lot. He didn't realize Logan never understood he wasn't being ignored on purpose.

Notes: I have a lot of Logan angst planned but that asides killed me and I just need them to Talk To Each Other Please

Roman knew he talked a lot.

He figured it counted for something that he was at least self aware. He wasn’t always the most conscious of it, delving into his own thoughts and ideas without warning, and his own boisterous voice often drowned out everyone else's, but it wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose!

He had a problem with interrupting the other sides, he knew he did. He was working on it.

He wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just...hard for him to control himself, especially when he was excited. Roman talked loudly even when he was trying to be quiet, and being the embodiment of creativity meant he didn’t exactly have a lot of impulse control.

Roman’s brain was loud. His thoughts were like a flood, idea after idea piling up and begging to be shared, his voice booming to be heard over his own head. He was trying to be better, but a part of him was almost afraid to be quiet. He didn’t know what to do if he couldn’t be heard.

He needed to be heard. He needed to voice his thoughts and share his ideas. He was Creativity. He needed to do his job.

He needed to be good.

It was probably counterproductive that the person he wanted to impress the most, the Side he craved validation from most of all, was Logan, when Roman ended up interrupting Logic more than anyone else.

He liked hearing Logan talk, even if half of it was contradicting Roman’s ideas, and half of it went right over the creative side’s head.

But Thomas wasn't a very logical person. Sometimes his creativity tended to overshadow the voice of reason. Logan didn’t like Roman’s ideas, deeming them implausible and unrealistic, which only drove Roman to talk more, to try over and over again to get Logan to listen.

They bickered, Roman tended to talk over and interrupt Logan, but there was no malice behind it. They both knew Roman did his best to control his outbursts, but sometimes silencing creativity was impossible.

At least...Roman had thought that had been the understanding.

He and Logan were arguing again, butting heads over Thomas’s plans for next week. Roman was distantly aware he kept interrupting, kept using his volume to talk over the logical side, but being aware didn’t always mean he could stop it.

Besides, this was how they worked things out. They would bicker for a few minutes, Roman would keep interrupting until he was done and then Logan would inevitably work out some kind of compromise Roman could settle with.

“You’re not listening, Pencil Head,” Roman said, despite being unable to remember a single point Logan had made in the last ten minutes. “Your schedule is boring. Thomas won’t have any free time for brainstorming or relaxing or anything that will help us come up with new ideas!”

“Roman—”

“My schedule on the other hand,” Roman continued over him. “Will let Thomas actually enjoy himself! Free time will get his creative juices flowing and I can come up with a video idea.”

“Your schedule is practically nonexistent. Thomas cannot just ignore his—”

“He can get your things done some other time,” Roman kept going. That was another thing he was trying to work on- once he started talking it was hard for him to stop. “Or he won’t. Thomas is fine. Who cares if a few things don’t get checked off your checklist.”

“I—”

“Besides, my schedule will be much more—”

“Roman,” Logan snapped, almost a yell, overpowering the Prince for the first time. “I understand that you hate me but for once could you just listen?”

Well that was one way to get Roman to stop talking.

The Prince froze, the rest of his argument dying in his throat as he stared at the logical side, eyes wide, mouth still open as his voice was effectively silenced all at once.

Logan seemed to be struggling to get ahold of himself, the anger fading from his eyes as quickly as it had appeared, face falling in a way that made him look almost small, quiet and resigned.

Roman swallowed, forcing himself to quiet down as much as he could before responding. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Logan said, back to being stoic, emotionless Logic. “I just need to get my point across and then I can leave.”

Roman’s brow furrowed, hands fiddling uselessly in his lap. “I don’t hate you, Logan.”

“Alright,” Logan said. It didn’t sound like he believed him. “I apologize for snapping at you. I can leave.”

Roman’s chest felt heavy, guilt, panic, confusion waging war, and his throat tightened unbearably at the heartbreak in Logan’s voice.

“I… don’t.” Roman didn’t even have to force it this time, his voice barely a whisper. “You think I hate you?”

Logan flashed the Prince a look that made his blood run cold. “You are not exactly subtle about it.”

“I don’t—”

“I’m not angry with you,” Logan said, and he just sounded so… tired. “It’s fine, Roman. I should not have said anything about it.”

“Logan,” Roman tried, almost desperate. “I don’t hate you at all.”

Roman’s heart ached at the blatant confusion and distrust on Logan’s face, the logical side refusing to meet the Prince’s eyes.

“You… do act like it sometimes,” Logan said quietly. “I am aware you believe I do more harm than good. And… and maybe you’re correct, but—”

“I don’t,” Roman insisted. “You do so much good, Lo. Thomas wouldn’t be functional without you! I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.”

Logan shifted uncomfortably, reaching up to adjust his tie. “Well you… prefer not to have me around then. Which is fine, I understand that I—”

“No, I do,” Roman said, and he knew he was just interrupting Logan again but he needed him to understand. He needed him to see he’d gotten it all wrong. “Of course I want you around!”

“Right,” Logan muttered, fixing his glasses. “If you say so.”

“I do.” Roman didn’t know what to do. How long had this been going on? How long had he been making Logan feel this way? “I don’t know how to convince you, I… I had no idea.”

Logan slipped his hands under his glasses, rubbing at his eyes before dropping his elbows to the table, holding his face in his hands. Roman hadn’t… realized how exhausted he looked. He hadn’t been paying attention.

“You can continue with what you were saying,” Logan said, not lifting his head from his hands. “My apologies for interrupting.”

Roman couldn't even remember what he’d been saying. He barely remembered what they’d been arguing about. “Um… what were you going to say?”

“Nothing,” Logan said. “It’s not important.”

“I’d like to know.”

Logan sighed, slowly lifting his head and adjusting his glasses again. “Why?”

“Because I want to listen,” Roman said, keeping his voice soft. “And I’m… sorry I haven’t been.”

“No, it’s alright.” Logan still sounded confused and unconvinced, but...it was a start. “I’m sorry for yelling.”

“It’s okay,” Roman assured. “I’m sorry I was talking over you.”

“It’s… alright.”

Roman hesitated, wringing his hands together. “If… if you want to talk now I’ll listen.”

Logan straightened, stiff and almost completely unmoving, jaw clenched tight. “Maybe it would be better to take a break.”

“Oh,” Roman said. “Alright.”

“I... apologize if I offended you.”

“You didn’t,” Roman promised. “I really do want to hear your ideas, Lo. I didn’t mean to shut you down like that.”

Logan glanced at him, and Roman’s heart broke at the wariness in his eyes, like he wasn’t certain Roman meant anything he was saying.

But the logical side folded his hands neatly in his lap and cleared his throat, clearly fighting to compose himself again.

“I had worked out a schedule for the next few weeks,” Logan explained. If Roman hadn’t been listening so closely, he probably would have missed the barely audible tremble to Logan’s voice. “I arranged it so Thomas could… could have time to get his chores and work finished while- while still having t-time to—”

Logan’s voice broke, and he immediately slapped a hand over his mouth. He turned away from Roman, but not before the Prince caught sight of the tears quickly gathering in his eyes.

“Oh, Logan—”

“I’m sorry,” Logan said quickly, voice wobbling as he wiped furiously at his eyes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Roman was frozen, torn between wanting to reach out and give Logan his space. “I- I don’t… know how to fix this.”

Logan took a shaky breath, still turned away. “There is nothing to fix.”

“There is,” Roman argued. “I’m hurting you.”

“I’m just being ridiculous, we can step away and pretend this never happened.”

“No, Logan.” He took a risk and moved to place a hand on Logan’s arm, pulling away when the logical side jumped like he’d been electrocuted. “That’s not… we can’t do that.”

Logan hesitated, still staring down at his hands. “I’m not angry with you.”

“You can be.”

“That would be unreasonable,” Logan insisted. “I simply misunderstood your intentions. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Roman said. “You’re important, and I made you feel like you weren’t. I had no idea you felt this way.”

Logan reached up to pull at his tie again, tugging at his collar. “I don’t… need to be pitied, Roman. If I’m not important, then—”

“You are,” Roman said, and then immediately backtracked. “I’m- I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for interrupting but you are. You are so important, Lo.”

“I…” he hesitated, shoulders impossibly tense. “Am trying to be.”

“You are.” Roman lowered his hand to touch Logan’s arm again, and this time Logic didn’t flinch. “I don’t know how to help. Tell me what you need.”

Logan shrugged, taking a steadying breath. “I would… like to be your friend. I know that is unrealistic, but… perhaps someday. If you’re open to it.”

And Roman… Roman was dangerously close to bursting into tears himself. He swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat, tightening his gentle hold on Logan’s arm.

“Logan,” he said, voice still nothing but a pained whisper. “You are my friend. We… we’re friends, Logan.”

Logan’s head snapped up, and the surprise on his face was what finally made Roman’s eyes fill with tears. “I am?”

“Yes, Logan.”

“Oh.” Logan’s gaze dropped back to his lap. “Then I’m… sorry for assuming we were not.”

“No, it’s alright. I’m sorry I… I didn’t make it more clear.”

Logan nodded, more to himself than to Roman. “I will… attempt to do better from now on.”

“You don’t need to be better,” Roman said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I should have known you didn’t hate me.” Logan finally met his eyes, red and watery. “I’m sorry, Roman.”

“I…” Roman hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “I must have done something to make you think that.”

Logan was still fiddling incessantly with his tie, either a nervous tick or a desperate attempt to ground himself, looking away once again.

“You… tend to talk over and ignore me,” Logan said, clearly uncomfortable. “I’m aware you get excited but it is a constant with me. I assumed you found me irrelevant. I understood that you’d prefer it if I was gone.”

“No, that’s… no, Logan.” Roman was definitely crying now, brushing away his tears and scooting closer. “That’s not it at all. Of course I want you here.”

“I… know.” Logan still didn’t sound completely convinced. “I appreciate you saying that.”

“I mean it,” Roman said. “I know I… talk over you guys sometimes. I’m working on it, I promise I just… I want you to like my ideas so bad, Teach.”

Roman laughed, bitter and humorless, guilt clawing at his throat. “I get so determined to get you to listen, and I get so excited when you do so I… forget. I forgot to listen and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s not fair to you but I… I had no idea. I didn’t know I was making you feel like this.”

“Oh.” Logan’s hands finally dropped from his tie back down to his lap. “I… do enjoy hearing your thoughts. I always have.”

Roman swallowed, his breathing still shaky. “That’s… thank you.”

“I suppose I… also owe you an apology,” Logan said, continuing before Roman could object. “I could have made more of an effort to show my admiration for your work.”

“I… Logan, you don’t need to—”

“Your ideas may not always be realistic,” Logan added, making Roman crack a smile. “But you’re passionate and intelligent and I enjoy working through them with you. Thomas wouldn’t be where he is without you, Roman.”

Roman felt light, his chest loosening, like a weight on his shoulders he hadn’t even known was there was just lifted.

Maybe it was just Logan, looking at him so earnestly, acknowledging Roman’s importance. The knowledge that Logan really did see him, listened to him was…

Oh.

They should have had this conversation a long time ago.

“Thank you,” Roman said. “And… and you too, Logan. Really. I think you’re incredible and I just… I know I’m not great at listening. I’m working on it but it’s just… you’re important too, Lo. None of us would be here if it wasn’t for you.”

Logan cleared his throat, quickly blinking away and stray tears. “I- I really do appreciate that. Thank you.”

His voice sounded much less strained, and Roman’s shoulders dropped in relief. “Of course. I’m… gonna try harder to listen. I promise.”

“Thank you.” Logan met Roman’s eyes again, sending the Prince a small but genuine smile. Roman’s heart practically soared. “And I will make more of an effort to not completely brush aside your ideas. I know I can be a bit harsh.”

Roman just shrugged. “You’re just doing your job.”

“As are you,” Logan said. “And you deserve to be listened to.”

roman reached across the table to take Logan’s hand, grinning when the other side didn’t pull away, letting the Prince lace their fingers together and gently squeeze.

“We’ll work on listening to each other, then,” Roman said. “For now, how about we take a break and get something to eat?”

“That would be acceptable.”

Roman’s smile widened, tightening his hold as he guided them both to their feet and led them away from the table littered with discarded papers.

They didn’t let go of each other’s hands the whole way to the kitchen.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #roman sanders #ts roman #logince #platonic logince #can be romantic #romantic logince #so how about that asides huh #hurt/comfort #crying tw #yelling tw #writing #fanfiction

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the--sad--hatter · 4 years ago

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Steam - Chapter 1 (Loki x Reader)

Warnings - Loki, Smut, Violence & Gore, Swearing, Death, Angst, Dark Humour, Crack Humour, Shenanigan’s, Mutual Pining

Pairing - Loki X Reader (Slow Burn Romance), Enemies to Frenemies to Idiots in Love

Reader Description - Female, No physical descriptions, Only referred to by nicknames & Petnames (No use of Y/N)

Description/Blurb -

“So how’d you get the firepower? What’s your origin story?” Stark asked, peering at you curiously.

“Uh, this is my origin story…” You winced, sighing when he motioned for you to elaborate, “I got these powers about three days ago.”

It’s a tale as old as time, boy meets girl, boy tries to invade girls mind, girl sets boy on fire, boy turns into angry blue boy, they become sworn enemies.

When you suddenly become imbued with a power you have no idea how to control, Nick Fury picks you up and dumps you on The Avengers doorstep, deciding that they are best people to turn you from a wacky novice into a force to be reckoned with.

The power burning inside you has the potential to make you a hero, or destroy you completely, but your new fire based abilities are more than they appear, and in a stroke of spectacularly bad luck, The God of Mischief is the most qualified teacher to mentor you. With Loki guiding you, will you ever learn to control your power? Will you ever make it as an Avenger? Or will you crash and burn?

Only one thing is absolutely certain, when fire and ice collide, things are bound to get… steamy!

Chapter One - Ice Breaker

It was every bit as imposing as you’d imagined it would be, not that you’d ever imagined seeing it under these circumstances.

“Are you coming?” Fury barked at you, breaking you out of your slack-jawed awe.

You snapped your mouth closed and tore your eyes away from the legendary tower, looking at the doors where Fury was impatiently waiting for you.

“Coming!” You squeaked, scurrying over to him, “It’s just when you said you were taking me somewhere where I could safely learn to control my powers, I was sort of picturing an underground bunker in the desert, not the freaking Avengers Tower!”

“I utilise the assets I have, why would I send you away when I have a team of perfectly capable super-powered individuals?” He asked wryly, leading you across the lobby and straight past the security teams who did nothing to stop you both as you made your way into an elevator.

“I’m just saying, a heads up would have been nice.” You muttered petulantly, crossing your arms over your chest and tucking your hands out of sight.

You felt him look at you and studiously refused to meet his eye, staring instead at the numbers above the door as you were carried all the way to the top of the Tower.

“Heads up, you’re meeting The Avengers.” He shot back.

You could say what you liked about the former director of Shield, he was true to his word, because the elevator doors wooshed open to reveal a waiting crowd of Avengers, all of them staring at the man next to you with varying levels of annoyance and/or distrust. You diligently pattered after Fury as he stepped forward to greet them, looking around the room reverently.

The first person you laid eyes on was Tony Stark, Iron Man; the billionaire who had kicked off the modern age of hero’s, and next to him, Captain America, the first of the first, the OG Superhero. Stood behind the Captain was Sam Wilson, the Falcon and a personal favourite of yours, side by side with Bucky Barnes, the former Winter Soldier and poster-child for taking back control of your own fate. Clint Barton aka Hawkeye and the deadliest marksman in the world stood to the side with the Black Widow, deadliest person in the world full stop. In the back of the room two other figures were hanging back, emitting two very different aura’s. Doctor Bruce Banner eyed Fury with trepadition, and well-placed mistrust.

It was the last person in the room that the majority of your attention was reserved for, the tall, imposing god who skulked in the shadows. Contempt and boredom radiated from him, and you couldn’t safely say it was directed purely at Fury. He was also the only one who spared you more than a cursory glance, and you slowed to a stop as you found yourself trapped in his curious gaze. You stared back, trying to reconcile the villain who once tried to subjugate the planet with the one you were locking eyes with. It had been months since he had joined the Avengers, but it never stopped being strange to see him standing with them whenever you watched footage of them taking on whatever bad guy of the week they were battling. However, he had been fully cleared of any wrongdoing in the battle of New York, apparently he had been mind-controlled. As to why he was helping the Avengers, nobody really knew.

Someone cleared their throat loudly and you forced yourself to look away from the stupendously tall god, glancing around the room to see that you now had all eyes watching you expectantly. Apparently you’d zoned out for the introductions.

“’Sup?” You offered, waving in Tony Starks general direction.

“So you’re Fury’s fiery friend, what has that got to do with us?” Stark sighed.

“What, you think he bothered to explain his reasoning to me before dragging my ass up here?” You scoffed.

“She’s here because she has abilities, abilities that she is more likely to learn to handle among similarly gifted people.” Fury explained in a tone that brokered no argument.

Naturally, The Avengers argued.

“We don’t have anybody with fire abilities.” You heard Natasha Romanoff point out, just before you took the opportunity to zone out again.

You were absolutely certain that nobody cared very much what your opinion on the matter was, thankfully. You weren’t sure you had an opinion on the matter. It wasn’t like you had a lot of experience with these kinds of issues, and as far as you were away there wasn’t some superhero academy that you could enrol yourself in. Besides, you were much more interested in re-instating your staring competition with the god of Mischief.

In the brief time you’d been distracted, he’d stepped away from the shadows and moved closer to you, staring at you with his arms crossed.

You resisted the urge to inhale deeply, who knew ex-murderous gods would smell so nice? You looked up, and then up again.

“How tall are you?” You asked incredulously.

His gaze flickered down at you impassively, while you stared back and tried to mentally calculate his height.

“I’m a Frost Giant.” He stated coldly.

“Oh in that case, you’re kinda short.” You scoffed.

You were flooded with immediate remorse but it was drowned out by amusement.

“I beg your pardon?” He demanded, uncrossing his arms and stepping into your personal space.

“Down boy.” Iron Man sniggered, stepping between you. “So how’d you get the firepower? What’s your origin story?” Stark asked, peering at you curiously.

“Uh, this is my origin story…” You winced, sighing when he motioned for you to elaborate, “I got these powers about three days ago.”

“So you’re a baby.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“If I say yes does that mean I can just sit on the floor and cry until someone picks me up and holds me?” You asked, fully willing to give it a go.

It had been three days since your life had literally gone up in flames, three days of pinning your arms at your sides, afraid to close your eyes, afraid to let your guard down for even a split second, afraid to allow yourself to feel even an iota of emotion.

“So how did it happen?” The Captain asked firmly, getting the conversation back on track before you could find out if anyone would volunteer a hug.

“I, well, I kind of…” You trailed off and looked at Fury for help, but he just stared back at you, the bastard.

All eyes were on you as they waited for you to explain, nobody offering any kind of help. You exhaled forcefully and slumped your shoulders, tucking your chin so you didn’t have to look at them anymore.

“I ate a bomb.” You whispered.

There was a very long beat of silence before it was broken by several voices all at once.

“I’m sorry, what?” Stark demanded.

“What did it taste like?” The archer wondered, looking at you almost giddily.

“She didn’t eat a bomb.” Fury finally stepped in to clarify, “She absorbed the blast, after failing to defuse it.”

“Why was a civilian defusing a bomb in the first place?” Captain Rogers asked sharply, glancing at you in concern before turning back to Fury with a hard expression.

“I’m not a civilian, I’m actually an Agent.” You reasoned.

“She’s an Agent-In-Training.” Fury rebutted. “It was her first mission in the field.”

“Baby.” Stark reiterated, faking a cough and smirking at you when you scowled at him.

That was true, and you still didn’t think it was entirely your fault that the bomb had gone off. Yes you’d failed to diffuse it, but you were supposed to be watching the perimeter when you’d stumbled across the explosive device. It had less than thirty seconds on the clock, and you’d stupidly chosen to spend those seconds trying to stop it detonating instead of running away.

“And you put her on bomb duty? Were you trying to get her blown up?” The Black Widow demanded, and you almost laughed until you saw the serious expression on her face.

“There wasn’t supposed to be a bomb there, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Fury shrugged, like it was inconsequential.

To him it probably was.

“She is still in the room, and I was exactly where you told me to be, when you told me to be there. If your intel was bad, that’s on you Mr Superspy.” You snapped.

“Oh I see it now!” Stark briskly announced, “You’re trying to pawn her off on us because she’s too sassy for you.”

“Precisely.” Fury admitted, surprisingly.

“In the words of shortstack over there,” You hissed, gesturing at Loki “I beg your pardon?”

“You don’t have the temperance to be an Agent.” Fury told you blankly, not bothering to soften the blow by at least telling you this in private instead of in front of the world greatest heroes.

“I’d take that as a compliment.” Stark assured you.

“You’re telling me I’m fired? Literally. Because I got blown up, through no fault of my own?” You huffed, clenching your firsts in an effort to keep your emotions from manifesting in a fiery inferno of rage.

“Because you choose to try and handle a bomb you had no training to handle, instead of pursuing the target.” Fury amended, unphased by your distress.

You bit back your retort because you knew it wouldn’t matter to him in the slightest. You couldn’t reason with him, couldn’t explain that you had made the choice not to pursue the target who’d planted the bomb, because you had to try and stop it exploding in a building filled with innocent people. Maybe Fury was right after all. Maybe you weren’t suited to being an Agent, because an Agent would have known that they couldn’t stop the bomb but they could stop the bomber. They would have let a hundred innocent people die and stopped the killer from killing a thousand more the next time. You weren’t an Agent because you’d chosen to die trying to save the hundred, and trusted in Fury and Hill to take down the Bomber.

Of course, that wasn’t what had happened, and in the end nobody had died.

“None of this explains how you ‘ate’ the bomb.” Clint Barton pointed out, and it was a good observation.

“That’s because we don’t have an explanation. She went through the standard medical tests in her training, and all her bloodwork and scans indicated she was fully human. She walked into that building as a human being, and walked back out after absorbing a bomb, as who the hell knows what.”

“So you’ve never done anything like this before?” Dr Banner asked you, speaking directly to you for the first time.

“Not even remotely. I mean my eyes water when I eat chilli.” You shrugged.

“Fascinating.” Banner muttered. “Inhuman?” He asked, turning to Stark.

“Unlikely, she would have probably noticed going through Terragenesis.” Stark responded. “Mutant?” He shot back.

“No, the mutant gene would have shown up in testing.” Dr Banner sighed, looking you over with a scientifically calculating eye. “Can you explain what happened in more detail?”

“Sure, bomb went boom, I went AHHHHHH, and then it was all bright and hot and then the boom went away.” You told them.

“So how do we know that it was you? What if something else contained the blast?” Someone asked, and you looked around before you finally realised it was Sam Wilson who had spoken.

“No, it was… it definitely me.” You sighed.

“How do you know?” Bucky Barnes interjected, backing up the Falcons line of questioning.

That was the million dollar question. How could you be sure that you had anything to do with the bomb, that you had been imbued with fire power?

“During the post-mission de-brief, there was an incident.” You alluded, side-eying Fury and taking a not-so-subtle step away from him.

“Please tell me you tried to set him on fire?” Barton asked giddily, looking between you and your former boss.

When Fury levelled you with a glare and you developed a sudden vested in the ceiling, the Archer sniggered joyfully. You chanced a look around the room and saw that Barton wasn’t the only one exhibiting mirth at the idea of Fury being set ablaze by your.. well, your fury.

“He was yelling at me!” You defended, taking yet another step back when his glare intensified.

“You’re lucky you had no aim and only managed to set fire to the table.” He snapped.

“I think you were the lucky one.” Stark sniggered at Fury.

“Do you want her or not?” Fury sighed.

“Do I get a say in this?” You objected.

“No.” Fury, Stark, Romanoff, and Loki said in unison.

“I can run some tests to figure out what happened to you, if it’s reversible.” Banner offered comfortingly. “With your permission of course.”

“I’m gonna go stand over there with him.” You huffed, making a beeline for the doctor and awkwardly hiding behind him.

“Yeah, we’ll take her, should be an interesting riddle to solve.” Stark shrugged.

Captain Rogers and his buddies glanced at you before appearing to have a silent conversation.

“She can stay here while Stark and Banner figure out what happened, and we can go from there.” The Captain finally decided.

“We’ll take good care of her.” Loki added with a charming smile.

His eyes said something completely different, and you had a sick feeling that you were going to be made to pay for your short jokes.

“Glad I meet your approval; I was worried I was going to fall short.” You sarked, immediately resisting the urge to punch yourself in the face.

“Approval has nothing to do with it. Of all The Avengers, who do you think will be responsible for testing your abilities? You would do well to remember that I am more than mischief and lies, I am the god of chaos and fire.” He warned you cockily, visibly delighting in the way your grin faltered.

You shot a pleading look around the room, but nobody was refuting Loki’s claim. In fact, they were nodding thoughtfully, or in Stark’s case; shrugging apologetically at you. You turned back to Loki, ignoring the deep sense of foreboding in your stomach.

“Well Fe-Fi-Fo-Fuck.”

I have been trying to get back into writing for so long, and this is my last attempt. If this doesn’t work then I am out of ideas.

I know this is a boring start but I have been re-working and rewriting it for days and I can’t improve it. If you enjoyed any part of this, please do tell me! If you didn’t, then tell me that as well. Just give me any feedback at all, I’d appreciate it so so so so so much.

For those of you unaware (especially on AO3), I haven’t been writing for a while because my estranged mother passed away and it brought up issues that needed to be dealt with, but all that is over with now. Thank you to everyone who sent supportive messages and was patient with me ❤

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#Loki #Loki x Reader #The Avengers #Avengers x Reader #Deadpool

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whythinktoomuch · 4 years ago

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attempt #37

This was the 52nd formula that Lena had come up with, the 45th solution that she had to wait several hours to synthesize, but only the 37th time she was injecting her shoulder with the resulting concoction.

It was bright green this time, which only made it seem all the more promising.

There’s a rush and some mild nausea that Lena had come to expect with the experiments, but everything else felt the same. For now. Setting the syringe aside, Lena called out, “Hope, think of a number between one and a million.”

Then, for the 37th time, Lena tried. She cleared her own mind, practiced the meditative mantras, stared intently into Eve’s eyes, bright blue yet blank with Hope’s quiet disinterest, and... nothing. Not a single digit came to mind.

No matter how hard Lena tried, the only thoughts in her head were her own.

With an exasperated sigh, Lena rolled her sleeve back down and directed Hope to log their latest attempt as yet another failure before storming off to start her day.

Lena emerged from the laboratory with wrinkled clothes and dark circles sunken around her eyes, which was probably why the first thing she heard as she stepped out of the elevator was her personal assistant’s hushed commentary of, Oh sweet Jesus, she looks tired.

“Oh, I’m well aware, Hector,” Lena said, lofty and without much malice. “Nothing a little coffee can’t fix though.”

Hector stared at her blankly. “I’m sorry, Miss Luthor?”

“Never mind,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. She took the outstretched coffee in question as she walked by the assistant’s desk. “Just hold all my calls until the afternoon, please.”

This time, when Hector grumbled under his breath about wow, she must be grumpy too, Lena ignored it. There were better things for the CEO to tackle, after all; as for example, some fitful sleep on her couch, perhaps?

Hours later, Lena was relatively well-rested, so she pored over her notes again, trying to pinpoint the exact variable she must have overlooked in her carelessness. Because by all accounts, the formula should have worked—Lena had been certain of it. But then again, she’d admittedly thought that of almost every attempt thus far.

When Hector walked into her office at some point in the late afternoon with a handful of contracts to be signed, Lena felt no closer to the solution and a slight headache coming on.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Another coffee would be great,” Lena said, as she sifted through the documents.

“Oh my God, if she takes in any more caffeine, her heart’s going to literally explode...” Hector muttered to himself. “Well, maybe she won’t notice if I get her decaf instead...?”

Lena dropped the papers onto her desk with a scoff. “You know I can hear you, right?”

Hector appeared startled, which seemed rather appropriate until he slowly said, “So... was that a yes on the espresso?”

“What?”

Hector maintained his slow cadence, carefully enunciating every syllable as if he were repeating himself, “Did you want to stick with your usual order... or maybe go with an espresso... because it’s a little stronger?”

But in a normal cadence, also in Hector’s voice and somehow clear as a bell in Lena’s head came, “If this woman doesn’t get another nap in pronto, she is going to drop dead, and everyone’s going to think I poisoned her coffee, because she’s always in—”

Absolutely stunned, Lena continued to stare up at Hector in silence, eyes narrowing as the assistant’s slightly panicked voice droned on and on in her head. Until a louder remark broke through the reverie.

“Whoa, did she just fall asleep with her eyes open?”

Lena blinked quite obviously, and her mild shock was accompanied with a loud and clear, yet unspoken Oh, thank God! from Hector.

But the Hector standing before her hadn’t moved his lips once, only watching the bewilderment play out on Lena’s face with some polite concern.

“The usual’s fine,” Lena interjected before her assistant could press again. “Or the espresso, or whatever. I don’t care, as long as it’s still hot and caffeinated.”

“You got it,” Hector said.

“Definitely getting her decaf,” Hector thought as he turned to leave, but Lena hardly minded. She was too busy restructuring the rest of her day around this most exciting realization.

After some quick bit of arithmetic in her head, Lena set a timer on her watch for five hours, which was presumably the amount of time it would take for her body to break down the serum and render it useless. Then she logged on to her private interface and happily directed Hope to re-record attempt #37 as a success.

The ability to read minds was, quite simply, quite the advantage.

Though it wasn’t so much “mind-reading,” as mind-receiving. The serum seemed to have granted Lena access to the loud and active thought processes of everyone around her—their inner monologue, if you will, everything put into words but left unsaid.

Lena had been hoping for more, to be able to break into other people’s minds so as to hack secrets, determine why supposed close friends would ever betray her, and the like. Maybe that would come with time and practice.

But as it turned out, there was rather plenty to be gleaned from the forefront of someone’s mind, as people often thought about the things they weren’t supposed to say before choosing more palatable means of expression. Which made the rest of Lena’s workday somewhat informative, if not a little fun.

For one thing, Lena found out that a lot more of her employees enjoyed working for her than she had thought. All of them respected her, several feared her, and quite a fair few entertained invasive thoughts about her décolletage before swiftly directing their attention elsewhere.

She also found out there was one board member in particular who liked to fudge the numbers during meetings, and that his face took on a very unappealing shade of off-white when Lena could inexplicably confront him with the actual results of his findings.

But most importantly of all, what Lena found out was that... she actually enjoyed this heretofore inaccessible sense of control this ability afforded her. She had taken on the experiments for a very specific purpose, but now, it was difficult to even imagine going back to how things were, even after the fact.

Lena walked into the DEO, and for the first time, the outpouring of distrust attached to the Luthor name was all but imagined. The disparaging thoughts followed her, even as the people who had them smiled or averted their eyes as she passed.

Nothing she wasn’t used to though.

Alex’s voice slid into Lena’s head in a whisper—... the hell?—one whole minute before she actually greeted her, “Lena, hey... Well, can’t say that I was expecting you.”

“Yes, that’s what it sounds like,” Lena mused, and Alex gave her a slight frown.

“So, did you need something?”

“Where’s Kara? I want to talk to her.”

Alex’s carefully composed face betrayed no emotion, but her thoughts sighed heavily, “Of course...” before ebbing away into something entirely indistinct and indecipherable.

Lena blinked. She hadn’t encountered anyone whose thoughts weren’t immediately accessible to her before. But here Alex was, giving directions to Kara’s current whereabouts, all the while muttering some underlying commentary in tones so hushed that Lena couldn’t quite make out any of it.

“... Is there something on my face?” Alex swiped her sleeve across her forehead. “What are you looking at?”

“What? No, nothing,” Lena said brusquely. “Thank you for telling me where Kara is. Bye.” She turned on her heel, headed for the hallway that would eventually lead to the training room.

“Well, that was weird...” Alex’s voice drifted after her, a literal afterthought. “But I mean, I guess she has a nice ass, so—”

Lena shot a dirty look over her shoulder, but Alex was already back on her computer, mind rattling off coordinates and running through tactical drills like a well-oiled machine.

Kara was wearing short shorts and a sports bra, panting, and absolutely drenched in sweat when Lena stepped foot into the training room. She looked over at Lena, her skin glistening against the dimmed green of the kryptonite-lined walls, and smiled wide.

“Oh, hey! What are you doing here?” Kara asked, giving the punching bag one last jab before tugging her gloves off. "Did something happen or...? I mean, not that I’m not happy to see you, of course.” She flashed Lena another bright grin before pressing a towel to her face and neck and chest.

It was enough to stop Lena in her tracks, and almost enough to put a damper on her plans. Almost.

“I need to talk to you,” Lena said evenly, eyes glued firmly to Kara’s forehead.

“Yeah, sure! Jeez... I’d give you a hug, but I’m like sweating in places I didn’t even know existed. Alex says that this is the only way to learn proper form and all, but wow. I can’t believe there are humans who actually do this for fun—”

“Kara,” Lena cut in, lips pursing in exasperation. “I’m serious. We need to talk right now.”

Kara blinked, then slowly nodded. “Okay, yeah, let’s talk... You wanna sit down?”

“I prefer to be standing.”

“Okay.” Kara remained standing as well, towel now crumpled in her hands. “So, what’s going on?”

Lena took a deep breath, quickly running through the meditative techniques meant to keep her mind clear and open, then asked, “Why did it take you so long to tell me that you’re Supergirl?”

Kara’s shoulders slumped. “Lena, I...”

“No, why did it take three years? Why didn’t you trust me?” Lena continued, her pace steady and firm just like she had practiced. “I trusted you. I trusted you with every part of me, which is extremely difficult for me to do, and you just... didn’t care, I guess.”

“Of course, I care. Lena... I never meant to hurt you,” Kara said insistently. Her voice was loud, emphatic, and at the moment, the only thing Lena could hear.

“Don’t!” Lena snapped when Kara started to approach her. “Don’t come any closer. And stop talking! Just listen.”

Kara exhaled sharply through her nose and raised her hands in tentative surrender in absolute, utter silence. Lena even paused for a beat or two, just to see if any of Kara’s thoughts would breach the surface, but none did.

“Why couldn’t you just trust me, Kara?” Lena asked, and regrettably her voice trembled on the last syllable. “Why did I have to hear it from Lex?”

Kara’s eyes widened. “Lex? Lex told you before I did?”

“Shut up. Do not talk,” Lena hissed out, waiting for Kara to snap her jaw shut before continuing with a bitter laugh, “Do you, do you even trust me now...?” Kara stared, gaze hardening. “And how do you expect me to trust anything you have to say for yourself now?”

Lena’s questions—all of the above and beyond—were met with silence, strained only by the sound of Kara’s heavy breath and Lena’s own thoughts.

Scoffing, Lena threw up her hands. “Do you even care that you hurt me?”

“... Can I talk now?” Kara demanded, seething like she had any right to it. But when Lena shook her head furiously, she held her tongue and apparently everything else as well, because Lena couldn’t hear a single damn thing.

When the alarm on her watch went off, Lena left, slamming the door on her way out. She contacted Hope through their private channel and had her re-log attempt #37 as just another failure.

Back to the fucking drawing board.

(next part here)

#who's ready for attempt 38 n' 39?#and did i honestly start another ficlet series when i already have so many ongoing?#WACK!#also wtf; why is this 2k words...?#my words.

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firethekitty · 3 years ago

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thank you for asking @edalynn and i’m sorry i’m advance 😌

AUTISM MODE ACTIVATE

hunter is. extremely complicated. both as a character and how i personally think about him. i’ll put this below a cut bc it is extremely long 😭 i have so many thoughts about this dude and it’d genuinely mean a lot if anyone read it !!!!!

i didn’t like him! i fully admit that i didn’t enjoy hunter’s character when he was introduced. i thought he was boring and was just going to be another annoying antagonist like kikimora. man, i’m so glad i was wrong about him. i started warming up to him when Hunting Palismen aired, when we finally saw him without his helmet. i was fairly new to the show around this time, so it was one of the things i realized i love most about this show. he’s just some guy! every character in this show is literally just some guy. he’s got eye bags and a tooth gap and scars and messy, uneven hair.

the second his helmet is off, he becomes so. alive and vulnerable and human (in the metaphoric sense) and i immediately understood him. i realized he wasn’t going to be an ordinary villain, and he’s become such a huge comfort character for me since! i adore him!

(that episode actually has my favorite owl house scene ever (so far) which i think i’ll make a separate post for!!!)

a convo with fellow white boy enthusiast @subterra-rose helped me determine that he’s both deeper than he seems, but also really not that deep, in a way?

he’s incredibly complex and i’d actually argue one of the best-written characters in recent memory for me. he’s wildly smart and quick-witted and strong, but at the same time like. he’s just a kid!! yes he’s all of those things but he’s also extremely insecure, distrusting, closed-off, and awkward as hell

his tough guy persona is very obviously a farce, it’s the result of not having a single say in anything you do, of having every aspect of your life controlled. his golden helmet is very symbolic of this, i think. idk it just genuinely bothers me when people depict him as some kind of malicious, manipulative, evil person

and yes i unironically believe he hasn’t done anything wrong lmao. prior to Any Sport in a Storm, he hasn’t done a single thing wrong because he genuinely didn’t know that what he was doing was bad. i can say this with full confidence, pretty much exclusively in regards to hunter’s character and him alone, because he was literally created for the sole purpose of basically being belos’ puppet. he’s been manipulated since the day he was made by the only person he’s ever been allowed to be close to. it’s literally all he knows, so he’s of course going to be proud of it! he thinks it’s awesome and cool! he wants to show it to his first friends ever because he cares about them! except, of course, to everyone else that means being forced into a coven again their will. but he really, truly thinks he’s doing what’s best for everyone. he doesn’t have any ~hidden malicious intentions~ because he literally doesn’t know that what he’s doing is bad. this isn’t to say that he’s naive or anything, but it takes his new friends to spell it out for him like “uh, yeah, this is seriously fucked up. what’s wrong with you” for him to understand he isn’t helping anyone but belos. and then he realizes he doesn’t want to help him anymore. god his development is SO good bro

of course he’s done bad things, but that’s because we, the viewers, know about him through the protagonists’ perspectives. obviously we know that he’s working for the bad guy. but he doesn’t.

all of this is why hollow mind is SUCH a good fucking episode, because we get to see the exact moment everything he’s ever known comes crashing down on him all at once. it’s heart-wrenching, it’s insanely fucked up, and it’s realistic to the point where it has a genuine impact on you

and what i think is most heartbreaking about him, is that he doesn’t do these awful things because he wants to be awful. he doesn’t want to destroy magic or kill palismen, or betray people who show him kindness.

he’s literally just a kid who wants to have fun with friends and to be loved and for someone to be proud of him for once. genuinely i believe that’s all he truly wants.

#the owl house #hunter #character analysis #character bingo #i could write even more but i thought i’d spare you guys #talking

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hurting-fictional-people · 4 years ago

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Okay guys, so I think I’m getting attached to these characters and might have more ideas for them... so please let me know if you’d be interested in seeing more?

CW: (putting them here because tumblr decided to be weird about my tags tonight) a whole lot of angst and betrayal, stabbed whumpee (recovering from it... kinda), collar and chains, IV mention. Please tell me if I missed something

Continued from here

tagging @thelazywitchphotographer and @swift-perseides

“You said you’d set Whumpee free if I gave you the information,” someone hisses somewhere above them.

The timbre of that voice is a familiar caress, soothing the uneasiness that threatened to take over as soon as consciousness approached. Still, there’s a sharp edge to it that propels Whumpee’s eyes to flutter open, even as it calms the fear.

“Can you prove it?”

That’s the sound that truly awakens them. The sound they hoped never to hear again, that sends chills down their spine and makes them squint their eyes against the dim light and groggily look around.

“Can I p– you know you said it, Whumper. Stop fucking around,” Caretaker growls. “If you don’t want to let me go, then fine. Keep me here. Torture me if you will. But leave them alone.”

“Ah, to be young and in love,” Whumper sighs.

Someone towers over Whumpee, large shoulders they know better than their own stand by their bed, restraining their line of sight to the wall to their right and the one in front of their bed.

“I gave you what you wanted. Now let them go.”

Before they can think about it, before they can even truly remember where they are or why or with whom, their hand reaches out and touches the soft skin of Caretaker’s arm, making them stiffen and turn around with a furrowed brow over softening eyes.

“You’re awake.”

It’s the worry underneath the words that brings it all back. The betrayal months before, all the hurt and bitterness, and then those last hours – minutes? – with a hole in their abdomen silently draining their life away, suffocating in pain.

They pull their hand back.

“What happened?” Whumpee rasps out, only then noticing how dry their throat feels.

They know what happened. Every second of it is etched on their mind forever, but the question still slips out, the need for reassurance bigger than anything else.

“I got you fixed,” Caretaker gives them a sad smile, “just like I promised I would.”

“Actually, I got you fixed,” Whumper says, walking around Caretaker to stop in front of Whumpee’s bed. “You’re welcome.”

Whumpee’s eyes dart between the two of them, narrowing at the way Whumper’s gaze shines with something dark while Caretaker holds themself statue still.

“How are you feeling, dear?” Whumper asks.

“Like I’ve been stabbed,” they grumble, frowning when Whumper chuckles. “Why am I not dead?”

“Poor thing, you were really out of it, weren’t you?” Whumper smiles as they hold Whumpee’s ankle through the sheets and rub circles that would’ve been calming coming from anyone else. “Caretaker took the deal in the end. Almost too late, but my doctors are pretty good, so you should heal just fine. If given proper time, that is.”

“So, what now?” they ask, half wanting to just close their eyes and pretend to still be asleep. Their throat pleads for water, but they don’t want to ask either of them, so they just swallow saliva and pretend it helps.

“Well, that’s a question for Caretaker to answer,” Whumper says, turning toward the third person in the room, the one keeping disturbingly silent, arms crossed and jaw clenched. Probably regretting saving them in the first place.

But Caretaker doesn’t say anything. All they do is glare at Whumper from their spot beside Whumpee’s bed.

“What do you mean?” Whumpee asks after a few seconds, stifling a yawn, eyelids pleading to close.

“They mean that they have no word,” Caretaker snaps. “Whumper wants to make another bargain even though they never fulfilled the first one.”

“Fine. But why am I here?” Whumpee whispers, forcing their eyes to stay open long enough to hear the answer.

“Because you’re the bargaining chip, lovely,” Whumper smirks, squeezing Whumpee’s ankle until they gasp.

Whumpee’s heart drops to the floor, and then lower.

Caretaker has saved them once, which was a miracle in itself. Expecting them to do it twice is just too much.

“Can we discuss this later, since you don’t seem inclined to negotiate right now?” Caretaker nods toward the door. “Whumpee needs to rest.”

“I guess they will be needing their strength very soon if you don’t change your mind,” Whumper sighs, winking at Whumpee as they walk to the door. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone for now.”

The lock clicks behind them, but neither Caretaker nor Whumpee acknowledges it. They’re too busy staring at each other to do much else.

Deep bags mar the skin under Caretaker’s eyes, just like it always happens when they don’t get enough sleep, and Whumpee hates themself for still remembering that.

“Why did you–“ save me, Whumpee tries to say, but their voice fails when a dry cough makes their chest heave and their wound hurt.

Caretaker is immediately leaning close, one hand splayed on their back and the other on their tight, each touch raising goosebumps along their skin. “W-water,” they rasp, closing their eyes at the humiliation.

But Caretaker doesn’t seem to notice how defeated Whumpee’s eyes are, how their cheeks burn red for having to ask them for something so simple. They simply grab a plastic water bottle from the bedside table and hand it to Whumpee. They gulp down the entire thing.

“How are you feeling?” Caretaker asks once they sag back on the mattress.

“Like shit.”

It’s true, but the irritated tone is nothing but a defense mechanism, and they fear as much as they hope that Caretaker notices it.

The pain is a constant weight in Whumpee’s stomach, and the medication slowly dripping into their veins through an IV makes them nauseous and sleepy, but none of it makes Whumpee any less confused or sad whenever they look at Caretaker.

Why did Caretaker save them? A blurry memory tickles their brain, of sobs that didn’t come from their lips, of trembling hands holding theirs, warm lips kissing their forehead when they couldn’t convince their eyes to stay open anymore. It dissolves before they can grasp it, leaving only an empty feeling behind.

“You should sleep,” Caretaker says when the silence grows uncomfortable.

“Are you regretting saving me already?” Whumpee whispers, averting their gaze.

“What? No.” It sounds so real they almost believe it. They want to, so badly, but they’d already made the mistake of trusting Caretaker once before. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

There’s a hurt edge to their voice that makes Whumpee’s eyebrows rise as they look Caretaker straight in the eye. “Tell you what?”

“What Whumper did. That you were bleeding out.”

Oh.

“You could’ve died, Whumpee. You almost did. If you had just told me they had stabbed you, it would never have gotten to that point.”

“Why do you sound so angry? You’re the one who taught me not to trust anyone. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you but I’d do it again’, remember? You are the one who said those words. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think it would matter.”

Caretaker furrows their brows, opens their mouth, and turns around. Before they do, though, Whumpee catches the flash of pain and sadness crossing their eyes and pretends not to notice the glint of tears there.

The seconds tick by, and as the silence extends, pain and exertion make Whumpee’s eyes take longer and longer to open each time they blink. They are almost asleep when Caretaker’s voice sounds again.

“It’s not true, you know. It would’ve mattered. It’ll always matter when it comes to you.”

But Whumpee is already dreaming once they stop talking.

“So, have you made your choice?” Whumper asks from behind a ridiculously large desk. Caretaker folds their arms and doesn’t fight the will to bare their teeth. “We’ve talked through it already, Caretaker. It won’t even be any sort of bother, you just have to go in, pretend I let you free, and come back with the drive I gave you.”

“You and I both know it’s not that simple. You want me to infiltrate my own team, lie to their faces, and hand our biggest enemy a drive filled with classified information,” they bite back, hands curling into fists.

“Well, you can always say no,” Whumper leans back in their chair and grins. “You know I’ll even let you walk out if you do. And then I’ll have a pretty little pet to play with. The only downside is that dear Whumpee won’t last very long as my plaything with that wound of theirs.”

The words might as well be a blade sinking into their heart. And Whumper knows it, relishes the knowledge, laughing when Caretaker holds their breath.

It’s been three days since Whumpee’s woken up. Three days of poorly hiding the desperate need to be by their side, to make sure nothing would ever hurt them again. Three days of knowing that each small noise of pain Whumpee lets out, each hazy look they get whenever Caretaker says something kind or offers help, each distrustful glance, it’s all Caretaker’s fault.

Whumper doesn’t even bother hiding how much pleasure they take from locking Caretaker up until they can’t help but bang on the door and beg to see Whumpee. And when they do, it’s only to be hit by a new wave of pain breaking against their heart, flooding their veins with sorrow every time their eyes meet.

“Don’t fucking touch them,” Caretaker spits out, taking a step forward before they can stop themself.

“Is that a ‘yes Whumper, I agree with your terms’ I’m hearing, dear?”

“How can I trust you won’t hurt them while I’m gone?”

Whumper’s lips tug upwards, growing into a mocking, open smile. “You can’t. And I won’t even bother promising I won’t. So if I were you, I’d hurry up, because each second you try to stall me makes me even more excited to play with little Whumpee, and I don’t think they’ll appreciate my games as much as I will.”

It’s almost funny how a handful of words is capable of completely shattering someone’s heart, of stealing the ground from under their feet and filling them with dread all at once.

“Don’t you dare touch them,” Caretaker says, but it’s scared and quivery and both of them notice. “How the fuck do you expect me to leave with you saying you’ll hurt Whumpee?”

“Do they know how much you care about them?” Whumper muses, getting up and sauntering around the table. “Because I remember rather clearly Whumpee telling me you’d sooner offer them ruin than help.”

“What do you care?” they say through clenched teeth.

“It’s just intriguing how desperate you are to keep them safe and how oblivious they are of it. What did you do to make them so distrustful of you?”

Tore their heart apart with my bare hands. The answer comes to their mind unbidden, bringing a sharp twist of pain along with it. They can still see Whumpee’s shocked face, tears streaming down their cheeks, eyes desperately searching theirs for an excuse that wasn’t there for a treason they had no way to deny, no matter how much they wished to. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I did it for the greater good, and I’d do it again, Caretaker had said with all the pride and coldness a soldier could master.

They had kept their own tears for later, when no one could see them shatter.

“Is your life so miserable you have to feed off of someone else’s or are you just a nosy bastard?”

Whumper laughs, and they wish they could punch that laugh out of that smug face. “I’ll give you the details now and you’ll leave tomorrow. And just because of the insult you won’t get to say goodbye to Whumpee.”

Caretaker glares in response but doesn’t argue. They don’t deserve to be near Whumpee, not after everything, and are pretty sure Whumpee wouldn’t want it either. Besides, the simple thought of seeing the face they love so fiercely fill with suspicion each time Caretaker opens their mouth makes them want to weep.

Still, as long as they are alive to do so, Caretaker will gladly take the suspicion and anything else Whumpee throws at them. They deserve far worse anyway.

Each breath Whumpee takes hurts, and they are about to start crying out of frustration when the door opens. They don’t dare recognize the sharp tug of disappointment in their heart when the face that appears isn’t Caretaker’s.

“Good morning, love, how’s that wound?”, Whumper asks.

“Fine.” There’s an air of amusement around them that makes Whumpee shiver, even if they don’t know exactly why. “Where’s Caretaker?”

It leaves their lips before it hits their brain, and Whumpee has to bite their tongue to avoid slapping their forehead for it. Stupid. Caretaker shouldn’t mean anything to them anymore.

“Oh, dear. You still care about them, don’t you?”

Whumpee doesn’t even open their mouth, not when the answer they can voice would be a blatant lie and they’d both know it.

“It’s really unfortunate to have feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate them, isn’t it?” Whumper says, drinking in the slight frown between Whumpee’s brows, the way they look away to hide how much the words hurt them.

Before the wave of bitterness can crash over Whumpee, Whumper nods to someone outside the room and two guards step inside.

Their heart starts to pound, thrumming louder at each step the men take toward them.

“What, what’s going on?”

“We’re going somewhere else today, love. I assumed you needed the help to walk.”

They are shaking their head before Whumper even finishes the sentence. With a smile stretching across their face, they raise their brows, as if inviting Whumpee to do it themself.

They know what’s going to happen even before it does, and by the glee on Whumper’s face they do too, but Whumpee still kicks the thin blanket away and gets up on wobbly legs before taking two steps forward. On the third, the pain becomes unbearable. On the fourth, they can’t help but hold their injury and hunch their shoulders. Whumper watches them with mock concern as Whumpee stumbles out of the room. When they finally fall to their knees two steps later, Whumper simply tuts from their spot against the door.

“I guess you did need the help, huh?” they say, and Whumpee catches only a glance of their smile as they wave for the guards.

Two pairs of hands grab Whumpee’s arms and pull them up, and they can’t hold back a scream when it makes their entire abdomen explode in pain.

They are hauled over countless hallways, into a room made of concrete walls and nothing more, barely big enough for all of them.

“Please,” they breathe. “What are you doing? What about your deal with Caretaker?”

“Caretaker left, Whumpee.”

It’s the softness in their voice that makes Whumpee’s head turn to them, all wide eyes and parted lips.

“The bargain we told you about was for them to either betray their team and keep you safe or go away and leave you behind. They made their choice.”

Whumpee can only stare at Whumper’s sympathetic smile. The words take a while to truly sink in, and when they do, all Whumpee does is take a deep breath.

They’d been expecting this all along, they tell themself. They knew they couldn’t trust Caretaker, knew they’d never come first. They know it, they do. But then why does it hurt so much?

“And you see, Caretaker’s leaving made me kind of mad,” Whumper says as Whumpee is dumped on the cell’s cold floor, falling on all fours. “Betrayals make me bloodthirsty, I’m sure you’ll understand. And since you’re mine now, how can I resist it?”

Whumpee’s mouth dries at that. Terror shoots through their veins at the same time sadness tightens their heart.

The two men who’d carried them there take a step forward at the words and grab chains from a hook behind the door they hadn’t noticed before. As the chains are hung on metal loops attached to the wall, Whumpee realizes how wrong they’d been. The cell walls aren’t completely barren after all.

And when the guards crouch down in front of them, Whumpee can barely find strength through the panic and the pain radiating from their stomach to fight.

They do, though. Even when it burns and sends waves of dizziness down their body, Whumpee thrashes in hands that don’t budge, jerks against grips that only tighten.

But none of it matters when metal cuffs lock around both their wrists, nor when the chain is shortened until their arms are pulled straight above their head, back touching the wall. At least they are still sitting. Not that they could get up if they wanted to.

“Whumper, pl–“

But it isn’t over yet, they realize when another shiny gray circle approaches. Whumpee lets out a choked whine, but it’s all they can do before the collar closes around their throat and locks their neck to the wall as well. An uninvited sob escapes their lips, and there’s nothing they can do to stop it either.

“You look beautiful in chains, love,” Whumper says from the door, grinning with sadistic satisfaction at Whumpee’s weakness.

Humiliation tinges their cheeks red when Whumper’s gaze travels up and down their body. Chained, collared, like a dog, unable to do more than wiggle their arms and weakly kick their legs.

“Why are you doing this?” Whumpee asks, voice airy and desperate, searching for an explanation they know isn’t there.

“Because I wanted to. Because it brings me joy to see you struggle. I wouldn’t keep thrashing like that, though, you’ll wear yourself out very quickly with that unfortunate wound of yours, and we don’t want this to end too soon, do we?”

They leave the cell with a giggle and a wave of goodbye, and when the door doesn’t lock behind them, Whumpee almost chokes on a bitter laugh.

The cell is big enough for them to lie down straight if the chains weren’t keeping them tightly tied to the wall. But as time goes by, it seems to get smaller and smaller, closing in on them with each ragged breath Whumpee takes. The chains clink together as they squirm, but there’s no give. Their wound hurts through it all, burning with each movement, but stopping feels like giving up and if they do, then what?

No one knows where they are but Caretaker and they’ve already made it clear they won’t help. They’ve already given up on Whumpee, left them once again.

No one cares. There is no saving this time.

Whumpee chokes on rage and grief as tears stream down their cheeks, for a love that should never have been born, for the heart that has been broken in so many pieces they don’t know how it can still find strength enough to keep beating in their chest.

Whumpee stares at the gray walls and feels a scream building, and there’s no one there to stop it from bursting out, containing all of their anger and sadness and betrayal and spilling it over to the world. But even though it’s left their chest, the cry keeps echoing, bouncing around the walls, and none of the feelings are gone. They are all still there, still boiling inside of Whumpee.

So Whumpee sobs and pulls at the chains until their wrists are raw and bleeding, and don’t stop until both their strength and their voice are gone and there’s nothing else to do but sag on the chains.

Caretaker is in the elevator when the phone Whumper’s given them buzzes. Seven floors to go before they have to face their team. A few seconds before they have to betray the people who are nothing less than their family.

Even so, it’s not that thought that sends a shiver down their spine.

No one but Whumper has that number. The phone was given to them with specific instructions to be used solely to communicate with them. It’s Whumpee’s wide eyes that shine in their mind when Caretaker unlocks the phone, and it’s the memory of their smile that makes Caretaker’s heart race as they stare at the text and the video attached to it.

Got bored. You better hurry up.

Their hand trembles as they click on the video and Whumpee’s thin figure fills the screen, arms chained above their head, legs loose on the ground in front of them. Their eyes are closed, and for an instant, Caretaker’s heart stops in fear. But then Whumpee’s head starts to loll forward before being violently pulled back, and at the same time relief makes Caretaker suck in a sharp breath, the thing shining around Whumpee’s neck makes their heart sink through the floor.

The collar surrounds the soft skin Caretaker’s tasted more than once, marring the perfect curve of their throat. When it yanks their head back, it hits the wall behind them and their eyes snap open. Whumpee stares at the ceiling for a moment before their mouth opens in a scream Caretaker feels in their soul, even if they can’t hear it. They feel it with their whole heart, and when Whumpee starts pulling against the chains, Caretaker thinks they’ll puke.

The video ends with them panting silently through the soundless video, the glint of tears wetting their cheeks.

And then the elevator stops, and Caretaker barely has two seconds to wipe away their own tears before the doors open.

When their teammates run toward them, none of them sees the way their eyes shine for the dread it is.

As they smile and let lie after lie slip through their teeth, the only thing resounding in their mind is Whumpee’s silent screams. And as they deceive and betray, no one seems to notice the way their hands tremble or how they can’t convince their lips to smile no matter how happy they should’ve been to be back with the team. Not when the ten seconds keep playing over and over again inside their mind.

(next)

#whump #whump writing #betrayal whump #injured whumpee #emotional whump #lovers to enemies #forced to watch #angst #betrayal story

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littlemisslipbalm · 5 years ago

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“sorry to bother you”

Summary: Y/N meets Harry in a little shop in France. It was a lovely meeting between the fan and the rockstar, but when Y/N realizes she’s lost her phone, will she see Harry sooner than she had ever thought possible?

AKA Harry meets a fan and accidentally steals her phone

vibes bc they snack and she walks up to him while he’s looking at the sky lol ^

Ok so I just wanted to preface this: this was initially just going to be a short blurb about a respectful meeting between Harry and a fan because of the terrible stories I’ve been hearing lately about rude people being inconsiderate of Harry and his privacy and I wanted to showcase that you can treat Harry as a human being rather than an object when you see him irl. But then my writer brain wanted more and so it turned into more. All I have to say is if you ever meet Harry in real life, please be respectful and kind. Also there is a 0.00001 chance that this would ever actually happen as most fiction goes so please don’t expect more than a short convo and maybe a photo from him. For him to even speak with you is more than enough, he really isn’t a disneyland attraction.

Also not proofread bc apparently its long lol, I’m not super in love with this but I think it’s good-ish the end is meh - pls lemme know what yall think :)

Word Count: 10.2k (wait im actually so confused how this got so long omfg) | Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, idrk its long but it’s sweet?

She saw him long before she approached him. She was truly unsure of herself, not wanting to bother him or upset him. She had been a fan for so long and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet someone who meant so much to her.

In the small Bayeux shop, she hesitates as she risks another glance at the tall man. She whispered to her mom minutes ago about how Harry Styles was in the same shop as them. Her mom was texting her non stop telling her to go up to him or she would do it herself. Y/N shook her head, distrusting her mom and feeling self conscious. No one else was in the store and her interaction with him wouldn’t disrupt the rest of the store, but for some reason she felt a tinge of discomfort about going up to him.

Harry leafs over a tablecloth, not paying attention to the other patrons in the store or anything else for that matter. He was staying on the coast of France for the week and he hadn’t run into many fans, so he was feeling at ease. Mitch was somewhere else in the store, but Harry felt comfortable on his own. He feels a soft, small tap on his broad shoulder. He turns expecting the quiet Mitch, but is presented with a short, sweet looking woman.

“Excuse me. Um, hi...Sorry to bother you,” she starts, eyes wide as she works to maintain eye contact with Harry as she looks up at him.

His green eyes are widened, realizing this isn’t someone he knows.

“Hello,” he says simply.

“I-” she pauses, her hands fiddling, “I’m sorry to bother you, honestly. But, your music means so much to me and I’d kick myself for the rest of my life if I didn’t say something before you left.”

He smiles, his expression softening at how genuine she sounds. “It’s quite alright.”

“It’s not though. I’m sure you’d appreciate not being bothered for once.”

“No,” he cuts her off, “I love talking with fans.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure there’s days where you wish you could just go to a random store on the coast of France - so out of the way - and not be walked up to by a random person.”

“I mean, I guess, but you seem rather nice.”

“Thanks...I’ve been a fan long enough to know that there’s people who don’t always treat you with that kind of respect. I really wouldn’t have bothered you if it wouldn’t have changed my life.”

“Don’t feel like you’re a bother, please,” he pleads lightly as he grasps her hand out of instinct, dropping it immediately when he realizes what he’s done. “It’s the people who don’t actually come up to me and treat me like an animal that are upsetting. Or the people who are only after a photo and aren’t very nice to me. You… you’re treating me like a human being. Being overly courteous -- if I’m being honest.” He chuckles lightly at the end.

She blushes at his words and smiles up at him, mirroring the soft smile on his lips. “I’m only treating you how I would want to be treated if I were in your shoes.” She glances down at his feet and notices the Gucci boots and smiles to herself, laughing lightly.

“What?”

“We’ve got the same shoes on actually.”

“No way!” His voice is playful at first as he glances down at well and realizes she’s right. He laughs at the weird little coincidence.

“I’ve had these for years, my favorite shoes…” She mumbles, seeing the ways his eyes shift with a flash of concern. It’s what she fears he would think of her, why she was so hesitant to approach him in the first place. It’s why she had tried to hide her laugh from him when she noticed the similarity. She just wants to interact with him in a normal way. He again softens at her words, her sincerity, realizing it really just is one of those random things.

“They’re good shoes,” he laughs again, kicking his left heel with his right foot. The way she barely touched him to get his attention and the way she stays a safe distance from him is reassuring. She’s aware of his situation, yet she’s treating him with the utmost care and respect.

“So what brings you to Bayeux?” He asks, deciding he wants to continue the conversation with her. Y/N flits her eyes behind her shoulder and sees her mother watching their interaction out of the corner of her eye. She sighs and runs a hand through her hair, leaning against the counter her and Harry are at.

“Vacation, I guess. My family and I love to travel and ever since the pandemic settled down - finally, we’ve been jetting everywhere we’ve ever been or wanted to go. Seize the day vibes.” Her voice is serious, but she falters and laughs at the end. Her words are honest and she’s happy to actually get to talk to Harry more than just hello and a picture.

“I get that. You’re from America, yeah? It was really rough there for a long time.” He says solemnly, mirroring her figure, leaning against the counter, getting comfortable with her.

She laughs again, smiling up at him, eyes sparkling, completely in love with her idol, but desperately trying to play it cool. “The accent gives it away, huh? I’m trying to fix that, get a job out of the states and never go back.”

“Hey!” Harry interjects, throwing his hand out from his stance in her direction, like he might touch her, but this time being careful to not actually. “It’s not that bad. I like your accent...And I love LA.”

She can’t stop laughing with Harry. It feels so simple and common to just be talking with him. He doesn’t seem like he’s in a rush anywhere, but she also fears to take up too much of his time. “I’m originally from up north in California actually. Living in LA right now, though. But I don’t know, I’ve just always felt like I was meant to live somewhere else. Do you know how that is? Just feeling like you’re meant for something different?”

He watches the way she moves her hands and works through her thought process. He feels like in another world they would have been close friends. The way she talks about things is so familiar to him. It’s like she’s read his mind, even though he knows for sure she hasn’t. She’s funny and laid back, yet mature at the same time. He wonders how old she is, out of college it seems if she’s trying to get a job out of the United States. He wonders what she plans to do and who she wants to become. Her aura intrigues him to no end. He thinks he could talk to her for hours.

Realizing he hasn’t made any sort of response to her somewhat philosophical question, he nods quickly, eyes blinking rapidly, his body straightening up back to his full height. “Yeah..I mean that’s how I felt about music. Like, I always felt like I was meant for something more… Turns out I was!”

They smile together again, knowing the conversation is ending. She knows he won’t keep asking questions and she doesn’t want to keep him.

He knows he can’t completely turn himself over to this stranger, she’s obviously younger than him and even though he feels connected to her, she could surprise him still. He knows he can’t talk to her forever, the cashier glancing at the pair of them every so often since they haven’t been looking at any merchandise for a while now. He knows he shouldn’t flirt with her, ask her out for coffee or anything of the sort. He simply knows this must come to an end any moment now.

“You should definitely follow your heart,... I didn’t catch your name?” He realizes when he can’t finish his sentence by calling her name.

“Oh!” She says surprisedly, not realizing she never gave her name, “Y/N. And thank you, means a lot to hear encouragement come from someone who’s been such an inspiration to me. Honestly, thank you.”

He perks at the way she says her name, again feeling like he’s known her for much longer than these five minutes.

“It’s me who should be thanking you, Y/N. Your support is what makes my life the way it is. It means a lot to me - and you truly seem like a lovely person, genuinely.”

She throws her head back in laughter at all of the words he’s saying. The way he’s trying to convey his sincerity is earnest, but his word choice is simply funny to her. Without realizing what she’s doing, she throws out her arm and her hand lands on his bicep to steady herself while laughing - something she would do with anyone normally. He doesn’t shift from her grasp when she opens her eyes and even widens them at the sight in front of her. Her hand on Harry Styles. How is this happening? She thinks as he doesn’t disintegrate underneath her touch. He’s definitely real as she feels the coat fabric and the muscles beneath it. He smiles down at her, so sweetly that his dimples pop out. She’s in awe, but has to contain the slight sense of coolness she’d been maintaining during their conversation.

She removed her hand, gingerly, “I won’t keep you any longer, Harry.” She blushes when she says his name. “If you don’t mind, I’d love to get a picture with you, but I totally understand if you’re not okay with that. I wouldn’t post it anywhere, it’s more just for me to remember this.” She rushes the last bit, feeling nervous and shy yet again. He was so big physically, but his presence was also so strong that she felt even smaller around him.

His smile calms her immediately and this time it's his hand to touch her, his hand landing over hers that’s been resting on the counter during their conversation.

“Of course,” His lips are soft and plush as they maintain his sweet smile. “Hey Mitch!” He looks over his shoulder as he calls to Mitch who has returned from the upstairs part of the shop.

Mitch blinks at the sight of Harry with a stranger before coming over, “Yeah?”

“Do you mind taking a picture of Y/N and me?”

Y/N is still in disbelief of what is going on, completely awestruck that Harry just said her name again to Mitch Rowland. And that Mitch Rowland was even in this shop with her as well. She hadn’t realized that at first. But now she was going to be forever grateful to her father for insisting they come back to Bayeux during this trip.

Mitch nods and takes her phone once she slips it out of her pocket, fingers fidgeting to get it open quickly. Mitch smiles at her reassuringly as she lets go and moves to stand beside Harry against the counter. He pulls her into his side gently and her hand goes around his waist, feeling his warmth and substantiality for the first true time. She tries to ground herself in the moment, memorizing every detail of right now. His cologne that emanates from his neck, the way the material of his jacket feels against her bare arm, the way he puffs out a slight laugh as Mitch shifts around to get most of their bodies in the frame. Oh and the way he looks when he tilts his neck to check on her and he even risks a wink of one of his emerald eyes and she promises herself she’ll never give away any of the clothes she’s wearing right now. Her nonchalant response is to wink right back and then they both smile, turning back their attention to the phone in Mitch’s hands.

Her mom had gone up to the cashier, effectively distracting them from the photoshoot that had begun to take place. Y/N never wants Harry to let go of her, but again she knows this can’t last forever. Mitch takes a couple of photos before handing the phone back. Y/N assumes that’s it and is about to thank Harry, but he speaks over her and her words die in her throat.

“How do they look?”

“Oh?” She flips through them and Harry leans over her shoulder, respectfully. “Pretty good,” she sums up, she loves them and she’d love even more, but she’d obviously never ask Harry for that.

“Pretty good?” He echoes, unsure of her response, looking from her to the photos, “Do you want to take more?”

She thinks on his offer, already knowing the right answer, “No, no. It’s all good. Thanks.”

Then turning to face Mitch, who’s been watching the pair of them converse, “Could I actually get a photo with you, Mitch? Sorry if that’s super weird, I just think you’re really cool. I had no idea you were even here until, uh, Harry called you over.” She laughs nervously, blushing yet again.

Harry laughs under his breath at how both her and Mitch blush at her words. She’s more unsure with Mitch, which he finds interesting. She had carried their conversation easily and maintained eye contact casually, but with Mitch, it was like he was her schoolyard crush, nervous hands and fleeting glances. He wondered if she genuinely only liked Harry for his music and didn’t find him physically attractive. This nagging feeling at the back of his mind perplexed him, he twitched trying to shrug it off. Why did he care if this woman found Mitch attractive and not him?

“Yeah, of course. It’s not weird, have had plenty of people say much weirder things to me than that…” He smiles at Y/N and she mirrors his expression, but then she bites her lip. Her expression falters slightly as she processes his words. “I’m sorry if you’ve had similar experiences as Harry with so-called fans being disrespectful and inconsiderate.”

“No need to apologize, you’ve been nothing but kind and respectful,” Harry interjects

She only fidgets at his words. She’s growing slightly more nervous, being in the presence of both Mitch and Harry was starting to wear on her calm exterior. Still, Mitch trades places with Harry and Harry plucks her phone from her hands. He takes more photos than Mitch, doing close ups and full shots, causing Mitch and Y/N to laugh as they hold onto each other. He gives them little instructions on what to do in the photos and soon Y/N is rolling her eyes at Harry like she’s been best friends with him for ages. She feels like she’s just out with a couple of her friends and they decided to stop and pose for photos randomly, rather than meeting rock legends that she had only dreamt of ever seeing in real life.

When Harry is finally satisfied and comes up to the pair of them, she moves away from Mitch first, his long hair shifting as she pulls away from his side. She turns to face him immediately and starts to gush, “You’re an amazing guitarist, by the way. I forgot to say that. When I heard ‘She’ for the first time...I was blown away. The guitar on it...Feels like you’re in another universe. And it follows up ‘To Be So Lonely’ which your guitar on it is also like crazy epic. ”

Harry and Mitch laugh, but Mitch’s smile is appreciative, like he’s about to speak, but Harry speaks first, “That’s because he was in another universe. You know the story?”

She smiles and nods. Harry nods in approval. Mitch interjects, “Thank you. Also, Y/N,” he stares intently at her face and she meets his gaze this time, “You’re truly one of the kindest people - maybe the kindest - who have come up to us. And I’m not just saying that because you complimented my guitar playing.”

“He’s right,” Harry nods solemnly. Her face beams up at them both, now she really felt like this was too good to be true. Meeting her idols and having them both say very complimentary things about her, she’d cherish it forever.

“You both are amazing people and deserve to be treated as such.” Her tone is the sincerest she’s ever been, meaning every single thing she says. Then she rushes out her next few sentences, “But thank you again, seriously, you both mean a lot to me - I’ll let you get back to it...Have a nice day!”

After they say their farewells swiftly, she turns to leave and bounces over to her mother who is grinning with pride for her daughter. Before she exits completely she risks a glance over her shoulder and throws a peace sign up, Harry returns it. Then she walks out of the shop, her mother finishing up her shopping minutes ago. Mitch and Harry stay back, talking and continuing to look around the store.

Y/N tries to keep her cool until they’re out of sight of the shop. Once they round the corner and are on the next street over, she’s jumping up and down and squealing to her mom. “Can you actually believe it? What the fuck just happened? That was real right? I wasn’t hallucinating?”

Her mom laughs and reassures her it was real, “You did that, I’m so proud of you. You handled yourself very maturely”

“Well I tried! I can’t believe Mitch was there too!” She interjects, cutting off her mom, completely ecstatic from the previous experience.

“So how did the photos come out?” Her mom asks once Y/N had stopped rambling about Harry’s outfit and their matching shoes and their conversation and basically anything that had happened in the last ten minutes. They were blocks from the shop now.

“Photos?”

“Yeah, the photos you took with them. How do they look? I was ready to come over, but then that other man popped out of nowhere.”

“He’s smooth like that,” she says wistfully, her little crush on Mitch being nowhere near her love for Harry, but still present, and pats for her phone. “Oh.” She says, stopping in her tracks.

Her mother stops with her, “What?”

“I...I left my phone in the store, I guess.”

“Y/N…” Her mom drags out her name in exasperation, in awe of her daughter’s ability to be so smooth with her own idol yet how forgetful she could still be.

“Shit!” She confirms that her phone is nowhere to be found.

“Really?” Her mother sighs, hands sitting on her hips in the center of the French street.

“Sorry?” She asks sheepishly. In her starstruck stupor she had been too transfixed on Harry and Mitch and must have placed it down on the counter.

“Well, let’s go back,” her mother states, tired but also not completely mad. She lost her phone plenty of times and it was usually because of less acceptable reasons. Meeting your idols warranted a spacey head.

The door chimes as Y/N reenters the store, she walks quickly to wear she had her conversation with Harry almost twenty minutes ago and her mom goes to ask the clerk if they had grabbed it. It’s not on the counter where they had been leaning. She glances around checking to see if it had fallen on the ground or if by some grand luck Harry and Mitch were still there. Due to her luck, neither of these hopes came true. Her mom joins her in the area and shakes her head, the clerk hadn’t gotten any phones turned in since they had left the first time.

“Give me your phone,” Y/N says suddenly. “Find my iphone,” she explains when her mom looks at her questioningly. Checking the phone, she sighs in exasperation, silently cursing herself for not sharing her location with her mom when her phone icon says ‘location unavailable’. She rubs a hand over her face in disappointment.

“Don’t click the sound button!” Her mom says quickly, “If someone stole it, they’ll turn it off when they hear it.”

“But how am I supposed to find it? It could be here and I just can’t see it.” Her finger hovers over the ‘play sound’ button, hesitant, but desperate. She had met and gotten photos with Harry Styles and they were already gone - oh and she’d have to replace her phone, which would be terrible, as well.

“Maybe Harry Styles has it?”

“Mom, don’t be dumb.”

“Hey! Watch your tone. I’m serious. Did he ever hand it back to you after he took those second round of pictures?”

Y/N scratches her head nervously and hands back her mom’s phone. She places both over her face and presses her fingers harshly over her eyes trying to think. She hadn’t been paying attention to her phone at the time, too busy trying to commit everything about Harry to memory in her mind so that she’d never forget it. She was sure she’d never forget today, now, even if she ever stopped loving Harry, which she was doubtful of. Hey kids, I met a rockstar and I was so starstruck I lost my phone in France! She groaned. “Oh my fucking god!”

After a few deep breaths with her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, she composed herself, “We need to play the sound. Either it’s here and we’ll find it. Or - worst case scenario - it sounds and Harry Styles realizes he has my phone and we go from there… Well, I guess in the worst case scenario some jerk stole it and they turn it off and sell it for parts, but I just don’t think that’s what happened.” She bites her lip and stares at her mom, who hesitantly raises her finger to press the button that sets off the alarm on the lost phone. She clicks it after an overly dramatic pause. Y/N prays to anyone who’s willing to listen, she says in her mind, please sound the phone in here. Life would be so much simpler if it worked out the way we wanted. But, in place of the annoying echoing ring of the Find My iPhone tone there is only silence. At least there’s silence in the little shop in Bayeux.

In a tiny taxi cab that was headed to a small chateau outside of the town of Bayeux, the phone sounds and causes Harry to furrow his brows. He was sure he had his phone on ‘do not disturb’, but he pulls it out anyway to see why it’s making this annoying sound. What he pulls out of his coat pocket is not his phone he realizes immediately.

“Shit,” he says under his breath, still loud enough for Mitch to look over from the opposite passenger seat.

“What?”

“This isn’t my phone.”

“What?”

Harry rolls his eyes at Mitch’s repeated question and opens up his purse digging out his actual phone and holds up his and the one he had apparently stolen.

“Oh, yeah, that’s not your phone. That’s not good.”

Harry huffs as he turns the unknown phone over in his hand, the screen was a scene of a city he didn’t actually recognize - San Francisco maybe - the lavender silicone case is smooth in his hand and he notices a little sticker, it’s of Y/N and two other women. His eyes widen at it and it makes a little more sense to him. He hadn’t really stolen a phone, he just forgot to give it back. It wasn’t much better, but it was how he was going to comfort himself. Dropping his own phone in his lap, he runs his hand through his hair, rings slightly tugging at his mused curls. Then he turns the sticker to show Mitch, “It’s that girl we met, it’s her phone.”

“You stole her phone,” Mitch states. Voice deadpan and eyes boring into Harry’s.

“No!” Harry defends, but quickly slumps, “I mean, technically? Yes...But-” Mitch’s laughter cuts him off. “You’re an idiot, Harry, y’know that?��

“I feel like I’m on punk’d right now…” Y/N grumbles as it becomes clear that the phone is not in this shop. “If this is punk’d, at least my phone’s not actually gone,” she says to no one really. Her mom is pacing the store and stops to look at her daughter, “This is most definitely not punk’d for so many reasons, dear. Mainly because the show got canceled but also because we are in Bayeux, France not Malibu.”

“Fuck…”

She walks out of the shop, barely paying a glance to the shop keeper this time, her usual kind demeanor nowhere to be found under the piles of distress and anxiety plaguing her body.

Back out on the street she looks around, again hoping that with any luck Harry is still around and will come running up to her to give her back her phone. Again, no such luck.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” She looks to her mom helplessly, her arms flapping by her sides, defeated.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” Harry asks as they get out of the taxi, glancing at the purple phone in his hand.

Mitch shrugs, “Hope she has her location on?”

“Then she’s going to come here...But wouldn’t she have tried to track it first instead of playing the sound?”

“Dude, I don’t know.You can try to unlock it and find her mom’s number, get in contact with them.” Mitch sighs as they walk through the front door. “Or we can go back to town, see if they’re still there? Did you get her last name? You could find her on social media maybe?”

“I feel terrible...She was so nice.” Harry throws his bags down on the entryway couch and begins to pace, Y/N’s phone never leaving his hand. “Could go back into town tomorrow, maybe we’ll run into each other again.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mitch sits and runs a hand through his hair, “Just calm down, right now, Harry. There’s not much else you can do.”

He’s right and Harry tries to not fixate on the phone, but he fiddles with it for the rest of the day. He doesn’t let it leave his sight and sets it beside his bed when he gets ready to go to sleep. As he shifts in the bed, unable to fall asleep he takes the phone and begins trying to unlock it, guessing random numbers and failing miserably. Eventually, he decides he should go to bed and drifts off into an uncomfortable sleep.

After being unsuccessful in town, Y/N and her mom went back to the little villa they were staying at on the outskirts of Bayeux. It was located next to some vineyards that the villa co-owned with the private chateau that sat on the other side of the vines. It was beautiful and she had been so excited to be staying there. But after the events of today, she was not in the mood to join the rest of her family for dinner among the grapes. She lays on her bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how she had been so stupid to forget to ask for her phone back.

In the middle of the night, she wakes up in a cold sweat. She’s still in the clothes she had worn out and was laying on top of her covers at the end of her bed. All the windows of the room were closed and her shades weren’t drawn. Groggily, she rose from her uncomfortable position and changed. Moving to the window to let some air in she sees the lights flickering in a room of the private chateau across the way. She wondered why someone would willingly be up at this hour, even though she was unsure exactly what time it was without her phone. Her phone. That’s what had woken her up. She had dreamt that her mom had called her phone and the frog from the Frog and the Toad stories had picked it up. That was ridiculous, of course, but the idea to call her phone instead of just pinging it was solid. If Harry still had it, then he could pick up and they could figure out how to meet up. She decided she’d have to do that at a reasonable hour, however and moved on, opening her windows and closing the sheer shades, before getting under her covers to sleep.

Y/N wakes up early the next morning. Her sleep a restless one. Padding down the hall to her parent’s room, she knocks solemnly. She was far from a morning person and it was much to her mother’s surprise to see her standing in the hallway when she opened the door.

“Hey..” her voice catches in her throat, scratchy from lack of use in the night.

“Good morning, sunshine,” her mother laughs slightly, but Y/N only gives her an unamused look and walks into her room immediately searching for her mom’s phone.

“Need to use your phone, gonna call my phone,” she mutters, none of her thoughts being coherent sentences.

“Y/N, it’s 7 am. You’re going to call Harry Styles at 7 am? With your morning voice?”

Her eyes narrow and her lips form a straight line one her face, clearly not amused by her mother’s questions. Even if she knew her mom was right. She clears her throat and rolls her eyes at her mom, who is moving around the room beginning to get ready for the day as her daughter sits on the rumpled bed. Y/N’s father had already gone out to breakfast in the main area of the villa.

“Fine,” she slides off the bed when she realizes her mom isn’t offering her any more words of wisdom. “I’ll get ready for the day and then I will call my phone.”

Pattering back to her room, she slowly begins to dress and liven herself up for the day. Her hands instinctively reach out to her bedside table to pick up her phone to turn some music on, but of course she’s greeted with nothing. She groans loudly, “Of. Fucking. Course.” Shaking her head, she moves to take fresh clothes out of her suitcase.

Exiting her room again, this time far more awake, she walks down the hallway in a babydoll style top that read “Don’t play with my heart” with little girls playing racquetball with a red heart emblazoned over her chest and white jean floods. Her feet were covered in red high top converse today, matching the color of the small heart on her shirt. She liked the contrast of the white pants and the bright red of the shoes and she smiled to herself as she walked confidently into the breakfast area.

Her entire family was sitting around one of the tables, sipping coffee and eating pastries, it was now around 8:45 - a slightly more acceptable part of the day. They were all early risers, especially in comparison to her, and her older sister looks at her curiously. “What are you doing up so early, kid?” Y/N leans down to grab a slice of a peach from her brother’s place, which earns her a slight yelp of protest. She rolls her eyes at her sister and stalks off to the buffet, knowing she’s made her presence known enough.

“Can I borrow your phone now?” Y/N says after finishing a small danish and the lukewarm coffee that was at their table when she arrived. Her mother finally nods and hands it over. As Y/N grabs it, she’s already halfway out the doors that lead into the backyard of the villa.

She stands on the grass that goes for a few feet before a hedge that separates the villa ground with the vineyard. Flipping through the contacts, she settles on hers and sighs, trying to calm her nerves. Her free hand ghosts over her hair and she uses one foot to step lightly on the heel of the other shoe. Please pick up, she sends out a prayer once again. Her last twenty-four hours seemed to consist of dreams, hopes, and prayers and she was starting to realize that she didn’t particularly like any of them. Biting her lip, she raises her phone up to her ear and gets her automatic voice message. Realizing she has her phone on ‘do not disturb’, she immediately rings herself again, knowing that it will go through this time.

Harry strolls out of his bathroom and widens his eyes when he hears a buzzing hear his bed. Seeing it’s Y/N’s phone he grabs it quickly and furrows his brow at the contact. Her mother’s name, but he doesn’t know that. To him it’s just a person’s name, it could be anyone she knew. Still, he thought about the odds of it being just one of her friends or her calling from someone else’s phone and decided to risk it.

“Hello?”

“Thank fucking God!” is all he hears and he’s pretty sure it’s Y/N’s voice.

“Y/N?” He laughs and takes a seat on his bed, staring out his window that opened to the vineyard.

“Yes! Harry? Hi!” She’s ecstatic that anyone picked up at all, bouncing up and down on the other side of the phone. She mutters to herself, once again, “Thank fucking God.”

“Who’s phone are you calling from?”

“Oh, my mom’s,” she says, calming down slightly as she begins to walk around the grass, unable to contain the renewed sense of energy she has.

“You don’t keep her in your contacts as ‘mum’? I almost didn’t pick up.” He tilts his head, trying to think of anyone else he knew who kept their mother’s contact as the actual name rather than ‘mum’ or some other variant of it.

“Well, thanks for picking up,” she laughs at his words, bringing her pacing to a stop to stare at the chateau across the way. “It’s really not that weird,” she insists, her arm going to cradle the elbow of the arm that holds the phone to her ear. “I don’t think any of my siblings have her as ‘mom’ in their contacts.”

“I think it’s a little weird. I’m going to have to start asking people what they’ve got their mum down as in their phones. You’ve got me intrigued,” he muses, only slightly teasing. A smile curves onto his face as he hears her huff over the phone, obviously not liking his ribbing.

“So...you have my phone,” she changes the subject.

“Yes…” he scratches his head and she swears she could hear him awkwardly rubbing at his hair. “Sorry ‘bout that. Guess I forgot to give it back.”

“Not entirely your fault, I probably should have asked for it back. It was like twenty minutes before I even realized I didn’t have it and that was only really thanks to my mom.” She tries to not make him feel bad, because she honestly felt responsible for the mess up.

“Yeah, but I probably wouldn’t’ve realized till I got back to my place and pulled out one phone from my pocket and another one from my bag if you hadn’t tried the ‘find my iphone’ thing.”

“Oh my god, was it loud!? Did you have a hard time shutting it off?” She rushes as all the possible ways she might have annoyed Harry yesterday run through her mind.

“No, no, it was fine,” he reassures her, laughing lightly, standing up now and beginning to pace in front of his window. “Felt like a proper dick, though. Never in my life have I forgotten to give someone their phone back.” He sighs and stops in front of the window, deciding to open it for some fresh air.

Her gaze flits to a movement on the second floor of the chateau, someone opening up their window apparently. The long paned windows flip open and the little sheer curtains flutter in the slight morning breeze.

“So are you still in Bayeux?” Harry asks, hoping her answer is ‘yes’ as he takes in a deep breath of the air from outside.

“Yeah. Are you still here?” She asks timidly, moving her gaze down to her shoes bright red sticking out of the green grass. “Because that will make getting my phone back much easier,” she adds, clarifying that it’s not supposed to be a personal question, just simply a logistical one. Even if her heart skips a beat at the thought of seeing Harry again.

“Yes, I am. Well...just outside the town actually.”

“You don’t say? I’m staying just outside of town, too. At a little villa located next to a vineyard,” She looks around her surroundings again, walking the length of the garden once more. A movement from the same room that had opened their windows at the chateau catching her eye once again. A man, with his arm placed on the sill, leaning out slightly.

“You’re not wearing red shoes by any chance?” He smiles and she can hear the way it affects his words. Looking out of the window, he eyes the villa and the person who was pacing around its patio, seemingly on the phone.

Her brows raise and she stops in her tracks. “Did you just open your window?”

The only response from Harry that she hears is a soft chuckle. But, more importantly, the man in the chateau is waving to her. She grins and waves her free hand over her head, doing a slight jump to make sure he sees her. His laughter only grows, crackling slightly over the telephone line.

“What are the odds?” She breathes out after a moment. Her waving hand fell to her side and she looked at the figure in the window. It wasn’t exactly clear to her that it was Harry, but the way the man was hunched was enough to convince her. She vaguely sees him shake his head in agreement at the serendipitous nature of their current situation.

“Have you had a chance to dine in the vineyard yet?” Harry bites his lip after he asks the question, feeling a little more confident in his flirtation over the phone.

“I have - only once for dinner. Last night I was so stressed I couldn’t eat.”

“What do you think about lunch in the vineyard?” He’s smiling now, the charm dripping in every word he says. His accent is music to her ears and she thinks how could she ever say no to that offer.

“I don’t know...lunch with my phone thief?” She imitates an unsure tone. Her tease is lighthearted and Harry huffs, playfully indignant.

“As an apology for keeping your phone by mistake,” he adds, emphasizing the ‘by mistake’ part.

“As long as I can get my phone back, I’m up for anything you want,” She laughs, but then blushes at the innuendo that could be found in her words. Harry hears it and an amused look spreads across his face, the definition of anything running through his mind as well as his assured belief that Y/N did not mean what she had just implied. “I mean! Not anything, I just...Lunch in the vineyard would be lovely, Harry.” She sighs, a hand trailing down her face at her complete foolishness.

“Great. How does one o’clock sound?” He moves on from her slip, not wanting to embarrass her anymore. Especially when he was the one to cause this entire situation.

“Sounds smashing, Mr. Thief,” She breathes out, but laughs when she hears Harry groan.

“You’re something else, missy.”

“I know.” She rolls her eyes, trying to contain her giggles at their playful back and forth.

“See you at one.” He says finally.

“See you at one.” She echoes, continuing to watch him in the window. Neither of them seem to move to hang up. She’s stood in place and so is he, his head hanging out of the window now, resting himself on his arm. It’s just their breathing exchanging over the line and some gusts of wind crackling the connection every so often.

“Are you going to hang up?” She whispers, after a minute of complete silence, her voice coming out impossibly small.

“Thought you would’ve by now.”

“I don’t know why I can’t.” She admits, but she just feels weird hanging up on him even if they have plans to see each other later.

“Me neither.” His response causes her to tilt her head in confusion. Why would he have trouble hanging up on her?

“Okay.”

Then, it’s quiet again. Both of them shifting their bodies around, yet still managing to stay on the line. Y/N is the one who hangs up the phone after hearing Harry’s breath shake slightly, like he’s steeling himself to actually hang up. She realizes that while she doesn’t want to hang up on him, she’d rather do it than have him hang up on her. If that made any sense. She wasn’t sure, but the way he had invited her to lunch, it just felt like he had shifted their relationship from fan and star to something else. Something she didn’t fully grasp, but whatever it was made her stomach flip.

She informed her family that she wouldn’t be going out with them today and that she was getting her phone back, but not that she would be having lunch with Harry. She had no idea what they would think about it, but she didn’t want to give them the chance to inform her.

Walking through the vineyards, she watches the slight dust from the dirt gather on her shoes, the red converse. She had settled on what she had been wearing originally after changing her outfit upwards of twenty times. Best to be casual, she thought, like it was no big deal that she was about to dine with a musician whom she loved.

There was only one table on this side of the vineyard, it was the part owned by the chateau, a couple rows from where the villa had their tables. The simple cream tablecloth laid across the wooden table that had two matching wooden chairs with cream cushions placed around it. On top of the table was a picnic basket and a bottle of red wine, made from the grapes in the vineyard. And in one of the chairs sat Harry. Big square green glasses perched on his nose as he looked up at the sky. Y/N takes in his appearance, his cream shirt with stitched patterns on it, half unbuttoned to grant a full view of his swallows and butterfly as well as baggy light wash ripped jeans and dirty white vans. His shirt almost matches the tablecloth, but she’s not sure if he would take that as a compliment.

He hadn’t noticed her presence and he rubs his lips together, smoothing the lip balm he had applied before settling outside.

“Mr. thief?” She touches lightly on his shoulder, similar to how she had done yesterday. His head shoots up and he readjusts in his chair, to sit up slightly more upright. A smile curves onto his face and he moves his glasses up into his hair, pushing his curls back behind them.

“Y/N,” he drags out her name, toying with the sound of it. His eyes flit over her figure, taking in her outfit but quickly run back to her beautiful face. He motions for her to take a seat and she complies.

“The red shoes,” he smiles, glancing at her shoes. She laughs and does a little click of her heels.

“Can’t believe my phone was less than a mile away from me last night.”

“Oh! Your phone!” Harry’s eyes widened, “I forgot it in my room!”

Y/N laughs, her smile spreading on her face immediately, but her face falls when she sees Harry isn’t laughing. “You can’t be serious.” Harry says nothing, a blush creeping up his neck. “Harry…” she doesn’t know what else to say, scratching at the back of her head. “I guess stars really are just like us, complete space cadets.”

“I’m sorry! I was..distracted.”

She can’t keep herself from laughing and she places her hand over Harry’s on the table, trying to calm him down. “No worries, seriously, I was just teasing you. I’ve gone this long without my phone, an hour or so more won’t kill me.”

He smiles sheepishly, mentally kicking himself for how foolish he had made himself look. “Sorry ‘bout that. Seems like I’m really trying to keep your phone, doesn’t it?”

“Kind of...but I don’t think there’s anything in particular on there that you’d really be interested in having access to.”

He grabs the bottle of wine and takes the temporary cork off, he had previously uncorked it before Y/N had arrived. He pours the wine and then quirks a brow towards her. “I’m sure you’ve got some funny notes on there, you’re hilarious.”

She scoffs as his look is serious. Picking her glass up, she clinks it with Harry’s and takes a sip. She hums at the taste, judging the flavor and deeming it good. He watches her as she makes her silent decision and smirks at the way she smiles to herself. Coming back to the conversation she makes eye contact with Harry as she sets the glass down and leans back in her chair.

“You barely know me.” A coy smile flits across her features now. Harry’s heart skips a beat at her tone. He had been expecting some lighthearted quip, but this held something far more intense. It’s still teasing, but it’s far closer to flirting than friendly joking.

He begins to unpack the basket and place food onto the table, eyes constantly flickering between his task and Y/N. Her eyes are fixated on his hands, the way they flex and move and the way his rinks clink against the containers he’s moving around.

“Then tell me about yourself.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything.” He finishes placing the food on the table and removes the basket from the table so there’s nothing obstructing their view of each other.

“Very specific,” she takes a sip of her wine again, refraining from rolling her eyes. It was easy to talk to Harry, like they had been friends forever.

Harry lets out one of his loud single laughs. “See! You’re hilarious.” His compliment makes her finally roll her eyes playfully. Instead of responding, she puts some food onto the plate in front of her and takes a bite of a peach slide she had grabbed.

“You’re a flirt,” she says finally, her smile spreading across her face.

“That’s a fact ‘bout me not you, love.”

She bites her lip. For being extremely forgetful, Harry was also extremely charming. “Well, I’m not a fan of flirts.”

“I thought you said you were a massive fan yesterday?” He tilts his head to the side and looks at her with an inviting look in his eye, obviously trying to goad her.

She let out a gasp at his words and began to blush. His stare felt like a second sun boring straight into her, its heat traveling directly to her core. Trying to maintain her collected appearance that she had played so well yesterday, she takes a breath and another sip of wine. The liquid ran down her throat, soothing her. Shaking her head she says, “You know what I meant.”

Biting a piece of bread, Harry nods and shoots her a wink. Her legs instinctively shift together. Finishing his chewing, he speaks up, “Okay, but seriously, tell me more about yourself.”

They settle in, getting more serious and having an actual conversation rather than flirty comments shot back and forth. By the end of the bottle of wine, Harry and Y/N are cackling about some story she’s told about her first solo trip to Amsterdam and all the trouble she got into being a twenty year old college student with easy legal access to weed.

“I remember the first time I went to Amsterdam with the band,” Harry easily segways into his own story and she perks at the words ‘the band’. After all the fun they had been having talking and getting to know each other, the idea that Harry was a famous musician had left her mind completely. For the last forty-five minutes he had just been a really nice guy who was treating her to lunch.

She looks at him expectantly. “It was crazy cool, I think I was only seventeen then? But everyone else was over 18 so they bought us a bunch of pot and we smoked it and got high off our asses. Can barely remember what we talked about, but we definitely thought it was the smartest shit ever”

“Do you ever miss that?”

He finishes off his last bit of wine, “Being young and dumb?”

“No, the, like, relationship you had with them. I don’t mean to pry, but I feel like with any close relationship, when you stop being together all the time...it’s never the same.”

Harry sighs, thinking over what you had said, now knowing it was rather serious and not just about being young. He runs a hand through his soft curls before starting his response. “Short answer is yes. But, y’know, they were my family for so long and that bond doesn’t go away, even if we go through rough patches. Like that part of my life is such an essential part of who I am, I could never throw it away or discount it. I don’t know if I miss it all of the time though. I really like who I am right now.”

She nods, finishing her wine now too. Her body is fuzzy and warm under the soft light of the afternoon. Sharing a bottle of wine was enough to make her tipsy, but she felt sober enough to carry on their serious conversation. “That’s good. It’s important to like who you are right now. It’s how you know you’re ready to be there for others.” She says thoughtfully and then adds, “I like who I am right now, too.”

Harry smiles at her, a calm expression maintaining on his face, and twists his rings on his fingers. “That’s good,” he echoes. “Do you want to go for a walk?” His voice is soft and of course she’s going to say yes.

Her response is to stand up from the table and begin putting things back into the picnic basket. Harry watches her for a moment, taking in the way she moves with so much elegance even when doing such a mundane task. He is honestly so happy that he had gotten to see her again. She had intrigued him yesterday, but he had just expected her to be one of those fleeting thoughts in his mind. Now he wasn’t so sure. He had a feeling she would live in his memory for far longer. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll come back later and grab it all.”

“You set this all up, the least I can do is clean up a little,” She looks up at him from her crouched position as she packs up the leftover food into the basket still on the ground. Her hair is slightly falling into her face and she reaches to push it behind her ear while they continue to look at one another. Harry takes his lower lip into his mouth as he continues to look at her, trying to convince himself she’s not the most beautiful woman he’s ever met.

As they walk between the grapes, they continue to talk, further investigating Y/N’s job aspirations and what Harry was planning on for his next few weeks of vacation. He leads them down a dirt path after they cross the street, moving away from both the villa and the chateau. The path has tall grass flanking its sides that pushes around in the cool summer breeze. She mentions the beautiful sound of the birds chirping and Harry agrees. They walk until they reach the small lake that’s about a ten minute walk from their respective current residences. It’s not a lake for swimming so there’s no one around, just more tall grass, some small trees, and the animals.

“It’s really so beautiful here.”

“I love it a lot, I’ve been coming down here every evening and just sitting alone for an hour or so,” Harry motions to the little wooden bench located beneath a shady tree. She looks at him questioningly, unsure if he means for them to sit. He takes her hand in response and leads them over to it. It’s right before the edge of the pond and if their legs were just a bit longer they could touch the feet into the water.

“It’s nice,” She says, turning her attention from the scenery to stare at Harry, who she finds is already looking at her. Their eyes meet and she bites her lip. He’s so close to her. Closer than they were in the shop yesterday and now their faces are on the same level. His glasses are still pushed into his curls and she decides to pluck them from his head and place them over her eyes instead. Harry protests, but she says smugly, “I’m putting them to better use than just sitting a top that head of yours. It’s quite bright out.”

Harry leans into her, extending his arm behind her and resting it on the back of the bench. She sighs peacefully, with her gaze now hidden behind the glasses. She returns her gaze out against the water and tries to shift closer to Harry casually. They stay silent, listening to the rest of the world moving around them. Soon she’s resting nestled into his side and his arm has moved from the bench to rest around her shoulders. She exhales in contentment, but neither of them have said anything for a while. They were okay with it, being held was enough. Her right hand goes up and threads with Harry’s that is hanging limply against her.

After a few more minutes of silence, Harry decides he wants to talk. “I like being around you.”

“I like being around you too, Harry. You’re different than I had expected.”

“Really?”

“Yeah..I mean there’s that sinister quote about how you should never meet your heroes. But still, you were even kinder than I expected and even though you stole my phone,” she pauses to laugh,”it kind of turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I got to see you again.”

“Thanks…” Harry sighs and she turns her face to gaze up at him. “Well, yeah, now I’m sorta glad I did take your phone. You’re really wonderful.” She smiles and he smiles just as wide.

But then her smile falters, suddenly remembering everything. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy, she mentioned that thing about heroes and it all came crashing down around her. Yes, it was amazing to be around Harry and it was great that he had been so down to earth. But what she had just said was true too. He was her hero, he was famous and their lives didn’t connect at all. Just that one fleeting moment in the shop. If she hadn’t known him they would have never interacted. She had even been on her last legs of being in that store, she was just about to ask her mom to leave when Harry had walked through the door.

She sits up and drops her hand from his and he looks at her confused. “Did I say something wrong?” He asks, concerned. She stands up now and walks the short distance to the edge of the water, pushing his glasses on top of her head. He follows quickly, growing anxious as she stays silent. “I just..” she laughs in spite of herself, “I just feel really dumb right now.”

“What? Why?” Harry’s really confused now, she won’t meet his gaze as he faces her trying to figure out what just happened.

“I can’t believe I fooled myself into thinking for even a second this could ever be something more.” She turns to Harry finally, looking him directly in the eye, even though her eyes are prickling with tears. She’s angry with herself, not Harry. “You’re you and I’m just a fan at the end of the day. All of the flirting and touching, it can’t be anything more. At most, I’m a one night stand. And as great as that would be in the moment, I know how I feel about you and I know it would ruin me. I can’t be a fling for you, Harry. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” he grabs her arm, trying to comfort her, she shrugs him off. “You’re more than a fan to me, I thought that was obvious by now. You wouldn’t be some meaningless one night stand. When I say I like being around you, I mean I like you, Y/N.” His voice is strong yet soft. He needs to convince her that she can feel comfortable around him, but he sees the darkness in her eyes, how scared she is of being hurt.

“I don’t fit into your life, Harry.” She shakes her head, moving her hands more as she grows more anxious.

“That’s not true. You told me you want to move to England, we could see each other there and see if this was anything.”

She knows he’s right, that it was possible, but she had worked herself up so much now that she had a hard time believing it. She takes a deep breath, “Just answer me this. Would you have given me a second glance if I hadn’t come up to you in that shop yesterday? Or a second thought if there hadn’t been the phone mishap?”

Harry is taken aback. Her words had nothing to do with what he had just said. He had thought his solution was actually really great, a plan he had been meaning to tell her if the rest of the day had gone accordingly, which it didn’t seem to be doing. He pauses and if Y/N was anymore distraught that would have been her cue to leave. Thankfully, she had grounded herself enough in the situation to not let her hot head get in the way of this conversation.

“That’s a pretty unfair question, Y/N. It’s not like I’m constantly looking for someone to fancy.”

“Just answer the questions.”

“Probably not, about the first one, I hadn’t even noticed anyone in the shop before you came up to me. I was off in my own world.” She nods, taking his words into account. He continues, “But yes, about the second one, I thought about you in the car ride home before your phone even rang. Like I said, I like you.”

“Okay.” She softens.

“That’s it?”

“I mean you’re right. We could see each other in London and see if this is something. I just had to know about the other stuff, it was racing through my mind and I wouldn’t get over it unless you gave me an answer.”

“Oh, so can I kiss you?” His words broke the uncomfortable tension that had surrounded them.

“You still want to?” Her voice is small and unsure. The most nervous she had been around Harry was right now.

“I want to do so much more than that, darling, you have no idea.” He cups her cheek and wraps an arm around her waist. She giggles in nervous anticipation. Then his lips gently push onto hers and she sighs into the kiss. At the edge of the lake, the pair of them taste each other for the first time. Tongues begin licking into each other’s mouths and the kiss becomes breathless. Her hands are at the base of his neck, tugging him closer to her while he tightens his grasp around her waist. She moans slightly when Harry nips at her lower lip and he smirks, happy with the sound she makes.

“We should probably go get my phone.” Harry whimpers at her words.

“What?” Harry is once again confused by the woman before him, who had now pulled from their kiss.

“My phone is in your room…” She trails off and then eyes widen and he giggles excitedly. Eventually realizing what she’s implying.

“Yes! Yes, we should go do that. Get your phone. In my room. Sounds like a good idea. Mhmm.” He pecks her lips between each sentence.

“You’re so weird,” she laughs and brings down his shades onto her face once again. He pulls her into his side and kisses the top of her head as they begin their walk back to the chateau.

“Do you want your phone or not?”

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