#sorry i kinda got derailed a Bit but whatever

[999moreyears]

for the record carre is like. godly at pvp LOL like not as good as etoiles but like. still crazy good

ohhhh. sorry i dont know much abt like. any of the other language speaking streamers ill be so honest but i kinda mean it in the "most of the people who log on that are red are absolute shit at pvp compaired to the rest of the server" way if that makes sense? but then i understand why people are so pissed off ngl.... but also were only on day 3 and theres still 11 days left... im gonna be so honest i dont rlly expect them to win LOL

[sister-lucifer]

what’s wrong with you based on your favorite batman villain

(don’t take these too seriously)

(sequel to this post)

The Riddler: Holy shit shut the fuck up for two seconds PLEASE. i know you have a touch of the tism and crave to derail every conversation to talk about your special interest but no one else is having fun. this is why you don’t have any friends. You also have a very niche and the second most expensive taste in clothing so you only have like 3 outfits to mix and match. You either dress like you’re going to the Met Gala or like a dad on vacation, no in between

The Penguin: STOP FUCKING IMPULSE BUYING!!! YOU HAVE TOO MANY TRINKETS!!! YOU DONT NEED IT JUST BECAUSE ITS PRETTY!!!! You have the most expensive taste in clothing, especially victorian undergarments, and spend an embarrassing amount of money to dress like a vampire. And stop being so hard on your body. It might not always be the perfect image of what you want, but it’s doing its best, even if you have to help it out a bit.

Harley Quinn: Sweetheart, I promise you are more than just your sex appeal. I know you grew up around misogyny and were raised to be a housewife but you’re free now!! Well…you would be if you stopped picking the shittiest men. A relationship does not define you, stop settling for assholes because you feel ashamed for being single. Have you tried dating a woman? No, seriously, try it. You deserve it

The Joker: Stop using your humor to deflect from your trauma, i bet your back hurts from carrying the weight of being the funniest person in your friend group. You’re a big time maximalist who spends an hour picking out a hundred accessories to wear and wind up being late because you couldn’t choose which kandi bracelets were best for the occasion. You’re still holding on to the last shreds of your teenage edgelord phase. Also clean your damn room and throw away those old drink cans, nasty ass

Catwoman: How does it feel to be the sexiest person in the room at any given time? Not good, I bet, since you struggle to make friends because of how often they wind up to only be after your body. Sorry you can’t catch a break. You’re probably still carrying money saving habits you got from your parents when you were a kid even though you don’t need to now. Also please try wearing a color besides black, it’s almost summer, you’re gonna die of heatstroke. Nice eyeliner though

Poison Ivy: Dude, so many people are crushing on you rn, how do you not see this?! You’re so hot but soooo emotionally unavailable, christ. A boy in middle school said something uncomfortable to you once which was then reinforced by the misogynistic micro aggressions you were subject to as a teenager and it’s kinda tainted your entire view of the male gender, which is fair but also kinda sucks.

The Scarecrow: Daddy issues, daddy issues everywhere. He was scary as fuck, wasn’t he? Your fear was valid. You really love to analyze people which wouldn’t be an issue if you could actually be subtle about it. Stop staring, you creep. Also, that flannel doesn’t look as good as you think it does, you look like a depressed lumberjack. Like please just buy a cardigan. Halloween is your favorite holiday and you get really annoying about it around mid august. And remember to brush your fuckin hair for gods sake

The Mad Hatter: You get like…reeeeaaaally weird about your crushes, man. Like whatever you’re doing it’s not normal. You can just talk to them, you know. You have the weirdest sexual interests but they’re more so hyper specific and niche than gross or unsettling. That’s better, I guess? You gotta leave your headspace and live in reality for a bit, man. I know it kinda sucks, but there are real people here! Also you’re short. Gross

[chaifootsteps]

sorry to drama dump here, but it's kinda relevant to the stuff talked about? So Hbomb made a new video about cases of plagiarism and what surprised me was that the majority of it wasn't about Illuminaughtii as the initial patreon buzz suggested, but James Somerton. If you haven't heard of Somerton, he makes (made?) videos about queer content on YT. Some of it was better than others (his Helluva Boss video was so bad I never rewatched it) but I liked some of his stuff for helping me understand LGBT history and media better.

turns out he's a massive plagiarist, liar and was looking like he was implicating his co-writer who may or may not have known about this in order to preserve his own image. tbh I feel so dumb for having watched him for so long and not picked up on it - looking back it seems so obvious that the stuff I liked in his vids likely all came from various other books & articles and the judgemental, catty bits were very likely his own invention. what's worse is he complained about a lack of support before to the extent it threatened the continuation of the channel - either losing patrons or Youtube hiding his stuff due to its LGBT content and I believed him because it sounded plausible. but now I just don't know. I feel awful knowing how close I got to becoming his patreon a couple of times because I wanted to support what he was doing and I gave him the benefit of the doubt when I'd heard passing references to plagiarism before, assuming it was a small mistake anyone could make like forgetting to add a source - and not just reading huge passages nearly unchanged for minutes on end!

the whole time he was just ripping other people off. even by youtube plagiarism standards, the scale of it just staggers me

sorry for venting in your inbox. It just struck me watching Hbomb talk that Viv and James are kinda alike - they prop themselves up like pillars of the LBGT community for the services/art they provide while actively minimizing and ignoring other people working in the field or who came before them, then they make up shit when people call them out and just lie on the people taking them to task as harrassers & etc. I would hope someday there's an article or video that lays out the timeline of everyone Viv has hurt the way Hbomb does with JS here, but I think between Hazbin dropping and probably not getting critical acclaim and NDAs expiring next year, plus all the actually talented writers leaving or pulling away from her projects, it won't be the sharp decline suffered by Illuminaughtii or JS but a slow attrition into only her most dedicated fans still supporting her (assuming she doesn't get into yet more Twitter drama that derails whatever good will remains)

I was wondering why everyone was crossing their fingers for Hbomb to make a video about Vivzie.

All I can say is that if he wants to do so and needs the proof to back it up, there's my DMs.

[fizzyfizu]

Accursed in the Lake’s Depths

Chapter 3 : Fawley? F-A-W-L-E-Y?

Harry J. Potter / reader

MASTERLIST : The Archives.. ⊲ previous ༄.˚₊ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 ₊˚.༄ next ⊳

      “Attention everyone!” It was Bagman speaking again “It has been decided that the judges will be needing more time to discuss the scores, due to uh..special circumstances”. By now it was crystal clear that Harry had indeed saved the completely wrong person, and needless to say Harry has freed you but at the cost of derailing this whole thing slightly; he also gave Karkaroff more of a reason to hate him. 

      “Everyone is free to leave the venue now, and lunch will be served at the great hall shortly after!”.  Everyone had started to make their way to the great hall after Bagman announced this, it seems that the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons champions had made their way to their respective headmasters' side.  Cedric had been joined by his friends, much like Harry, and so he made his leave.  Leaving you, Harry, Hermione, and Ron alone..well mostly alone, there were still some stranglers staying behind but whatever.  

      By now you and Harry were fully dry (Harry more so than you thanks to Hermione);  you found yourself standing awkwardly in front of the trio as they were still caught up in their own bickering.  Finally, Harry remembered your existence, and offered you an apologetic (and awkward) smile as he tried to divert the attention over to you.  “Guys–guys!” Harry’s sudden loudness elicited silence from the two of his friends.  

      “There's still another person here..” Slowly, they turned around from Harry and faced you, as they originally had their backs turned from you.  Awkward silence took over the group as Ron and Hermione had a silent fight on who was going to speak first, thankfully Harry got the message and broke the ice. “This is Y/N, Y/N Fawley.” Harry spoke, you could clearly see the gratefulness reflected in his two friends’ eyes.  “Right then, nice to meet you Y/N.  I'm Ron Weasley—blimey it feels odd to introduce myself for once..anyways, that's-” 

      “Fawley?  Like, F-A-W-L-E-Y, Fawley?  Wow..how interesting..and your name is Y/N?  That's a bit odd.” said the girl, you knew her name from when students around the lake would gossip but anyways, “Yeah..uhm sorry that it's a weird name..I guess?” despite it not being in your control, you couldn't help the apology that rolled out on instinct, people pleaser and all that.  “Oh!  No no, I don't mean it like that at all, but it's just that you disappeared from Hogwarts grounds ages ago, as in like, 50 years ago!  In fact you are thought of to be the ‘lady of the lake’, though I guess lady wouldn't be an accurate title considering your age..been debating that topic with my roommates for ages!  Anyways, is it true that you helped open the chamber of secrets?  Or is that just completely false?” 

      It was clear that she was rearing to ask more questions but took a moment to breathe.  You weren't used to being questioned like this but then again, all those assignments Slughorn used to assign that required everyone to start interviewing each other on the usefulness of anecdotes was helping..kinda.  Anywho, you heard Ron interrupt her little ramble, “Oh come off it, you can't tell me to stop ‘overwhelming’ Harry if you're just gonna go ahead and do this!” her ears went pink.  

      You tried to help her case by saying that you, truly, didn't mind one bit, but you found that she already made a rebuttal, “Hmph.  I’ll just save the questions for later then!  By the way, my name is Hermione Granger.  I hope to be great friends with you, seeing as you know the value of information gathering!  Unlike someone here..” truth be told you don't really know the value of ‘information gathering’ but right now you just needed a few friends to help you catch up on what you missed in these past..50 years was it?  

      “Y..Yeah!  I’d like to be friends too..Hermione.” You slightly smiled at her, and your cheeks were a bit pink.  ‘Dear Helga, being isolated from others really does things to you!  And Merlin’s beard, 50 years?  50 years have passed..all my friends, everyone I knew..they would be gone by now surely..’ you thought, it was depressing to think about really, the thought that all your old friends would be..well–old now.  And here you are, still physically and mentally 14.  It's as if time had stopped for you, but you must move on for now.  You will give that topic some more thought another time.

      “Great, now if that's all sorted can we go eat lunch now, I'm as hungry as one gets.” Ok well, now you felt a bit bad because of how long introductions took, but anywho he was right.  And frankly you started to miss sitting in the great hall, Helga this is making you realise just how much you took freedom for granted.  “Agreed..the quicker we get there the better.” And so the group of 4 made their journey to the great hall.  Guess you’ll just wait until after lunch to talk with Dumbledore.

A/N: ill have to move the meeting to the fourth chapter😔

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi! i asked for matchup as anon before, but now i'll to this with my ✨account✨

if it's not a problem of course (⁠Ӧ⁠ｖ⁠Ӧ⁠｡⁠)

soo could i get matchup for howl's moving castle, bungou stray dogs and one punch man? (⁠｡⁠・⁠/⁠/⁠ε⁠/⁠/⁠・⁠｡⁠)

my pronouns are she/her

i'm demisexual panromantic

i'm enfp 7w8, leo

i'm 6'0 and have amber eyes, long gold blond curly hair and hourglass figure

i'm positive and upbeat person, i try to see the bright side in most situations

i'm friendly, energetic, confident, sarcastic, responsible, maybe a bit chaotic, cheerful and bubbly

i care about my friends and family a lot, and go out of my way to show it

i enjoy having fun and living life to the fullest

i'm very competitive and passionate person

i really like puzzles, riddles and crosswords

i love making people smile

i have morbid, dark sense of humor

sometimes i randomly say a weird obscure fact in the middle of conversation

i can play on violin, cello, piano, guitar, saxophone, harp and drums, i'm currently learning how to play on trumpet

i like poetry and sometimes i write a poem or two, also i'm writing my book

i'm ballet dancer since i was a kid and i love performing

i'm working on my own cartoon

i never quite grew out of the fantasy phase, and i'm still enamored with tales of changelings and witches

i work as illustrator for fantasy books and books for kids

i'm kinda struggling with taking rest, doing nothing, because there is always something to do, something new to learn, etc.

i'm afraid of stagnation

i overuse this kind of emojis→(⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

my style is something between whimsigothic and cryptidcore

i love: collecting things, astronomy, tea, making and watching movies, forests, making jewelry, cooking, baking, d&d, horrors, animals, plants, gardening, traveling, art, history, world mythologies, learning new things, psychology, handicraft

also i want to thank you for my previous matchup, i loved it ( ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥

i hope it's not a problem that i asked again (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠)

if it is, feel free to ignore my ask!

have a wonderful and fantastic day!

(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Hi! Absolutely you can get another matchup! I'm glad you liked the last one. Sorry this one took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Howl's Moving Castle, I match you with...

Sophie loves both your positivity and your sarcasm. You’re very similar to her in that way and she likes that you can bond over things like tormenting Howl.

Loves listening to you play music. I see Sophie as someone who is too shy to dance but is actually surprisingly good at it.

There’s no stagnation to be found in this relationship! Between getting on the wrong side of witches, travelling around in the moving castle, and getting caught up in Howls’ shenanigans, you and Sophie both have your hands full.

Sophie would enjoy cooking and baking with you. She’s glad there’s someone else around who is responsible enough to help out around the castle. Plus, it’s nice being able to spend time with you.

She would also love gardening with you. She finds it relaxing and you both get to contribute to the layout of the garden. If you have any interest in the meaning behind flowers, Sophie will read up on them and put messages into her flower arrangements while gardening.

Very good at helping you take rests. She’s got a magic touch when it comes to those sorts of things and knows exactly when you need to take a break. She’ll lure you away from whatever you were doing with the promise of freshly cooked food and cuddles.

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Stagnation? With Dazai around? I don’t think so. This guy will find a way to turn even the most boring routine into a chaotic mess.

Hope you like your plans getting derailed every few minutes because that’s what’s going to happen when you’re in a relationship with Dazai.

He loves your sense of humour so much. He’s got some issues and covers them up with dark humour so he’s glad you have the same style. He feels better making those sorts of jokes knowing they won’t make you uncomfortable.

Dazai would love to read anything you write. In his eyes whatever you’ve written is wonderful but he will always try to give you balanced feedback; some things he liked, some things you could improve on.

Dazai also struggles with taking care of himself and having breaks. Set alarms to go off through your day and every time they rouse you from your work, you both have to have a snack, drink some water, and have a quick walk around the house/office/wherever you are.

It’s good for both your mental and physical health. Plus, it keeps fights to a minimum in your relationship since neither of you are pushing yourselves past the breaking point.

In One Punch Man, I match you with...

Okay, hear me out! I think you and Saitama would get along really well. You both dislike stagnation, it’s just that Saitama has found himself in a situation where that’s the one constant in his life.

With all your hobbies, Saitama will dedicate himself to learning everything he can about all of them. That way, no matter what you’re doing or talking about, he knows enough to provide constructive comments.

He is also better able to appreciate the work that goes into all of your hobbies this way.

Please get him into D&D. Having a weak character is a nice change for him and I think he would enjoy the escapism of the game. Just be careful he doesn’t level up too fast…

Your positivity is a nice change of pace for Saitama. He’s surrounded by angsty and serious people all the time so you’re a nice break away from all that.

But at the same time, he loves your sarcasm. It might take a while for him to start showing emotions around you since he’s not a super expressive person to begin with, but whenever you make a sarcastic comment, you’ll catch a small smile on his face.

[anthroparis]

“and as alejandro has aged and gotten slightly better due to gwens influence (will elaborate if asked)”

hello! i am asking ^-^

starting this bit by reminding everyone that I like aleheather a LOT. like even back when it was not as popular on tdblr (the crime of having a woman get in the way of a yaoi ship is very dire in this fandom) and I'm sooo excited to see people being normal about them again.

anyway, one of the reasons I think alejandro originally fell for heather is because she could understand him. alejandro is a very lonely character. he's always putting on different personas to get by, he has a poor relationship with most of his family, and he's been outcasted by many of the people in his life. so, when he saw everyone hating heather, along with her obvious intelligence and skill, he saw an opportunity for a normal relationship. they are very precious to me

but, in my vision, they wouldn't really last long term. ultimately, I think it'd be heather who needs something different and alejandro would at some point figure out that there was just this gap between them that they couldn't bridge, no matter what angle he looked at it from

okay now gwen. I shouldn't even have to explain why she and alejandro would be a really good pair, they literally called her new heather for multiple seasons. she was loved, admired even, and then became wildly hated for doing something that was actually really alejandro-core when you think about it.

in all-stars, you can see that she's kind of a wreck. I actually don't hate her character derailment here because if I got called a bad person by everyone around me multiple times on international television, I'd be begging for forgiveness too. I really relate to gwen as a character. also sorry gwourtney stans but I really don't think gwen cared about courtney as much as courtney did about gwen. gothy was just acting impulsively and pretty pathetically to undo the damage she caused, again out of her internal fear of being bad. courtney was gay for her for sure but I don't think gwen ever reciprocated that. gwen likes women I just don't think she'd like courtney

anyway. alejandro is someone who embraces being shitty. I think if they did team up during all-stars, he would convince gwen to let go of her guilt and her past mistakes and embrace the present. if she can't beat them, join them. so she has a little villain arc and gets to come to terms with her morality in a much less sad way.

but likewise, I think her fear of being bad and her genuine attitude would do something in alejandro's head. cause gwen right now, and even in the past, has always been an outcast. but unlike heather, she embraces it. she doesn't need to be worshipped, she actually wants to be left alone. this is a funny mentality to alejandro, who's been making up for the abuse he's suffered by getting extra attention from others for his whole life. he's been putting up this facade of perfection and charm and it makes him kinda miserable, and it drives him to want to be understood.

and then gwen is just. you know. she's kinda gross. she uses paint for her lips and does her hair with spit. she doesn't fear being mean when she has to. and when she wants something, she gets it through a straightforward route, and not through deception. this is really interesting to him.

and I think as he continued to coach her through all-stars, they'd learn more about each other and realize they're very similar. they both probably like weird foreign arthouse movies, art history, weird literature, like they'd have a lot to talk about. and as time goes on he kinda realizes that what was missing with heather, and what gwen has, is the ability to see him for exactly how he is. not the charming, cunning villain, but a kinda lame guy who's just really pretentious. I think gwen can do that with people. just look at them and see through whatever front they're putting up. that's why she hated cody from the start, and liked duncan- didn't matter than one was externally nice, she knew he had bad intentions. didn't matter that one sucked on the outside, she knew he was alright and just acting out for attention deep down. like she knows things that other characters don't always pick up on, so I don't doubt she could do that to alejandro. probably why in canon she never fell for any of his manipulation (I don't count the eyes scene, that was just her having a moment)

anyway, I think this would eventually lead to alejandro feeling safe enough to open up a little more, and she would do the same in return. I think being able to just talk to each other as people would be mutually beneficial and they'd end up a little better because of each other

[seyaryminamoto]

Happy Birthday ! :) Go Capricorns <3 Hope you had a wonderful holiday season. Thank you for giving us this beautiful story. If I may ask, as a writer, how do you keep yourself going? How do you stay motivated and inspired for so long? It’s amazing! And the story you deliver is absolutely breathtaking. I admire you so much <3 P.S Thoughts on the new comics/ movies that avatar studios is coming up with ??

Sorry for taking so long to answer! Happy birthday to you too, Anon! I'm assuming it already passed, with Capricorn season wrapping up and all x'D

So, how do I stay motivated...? To be honest, it's a bit tricky to answer that X'D

I've told this story a few times in the past, I think, but the truth is, I actually wound up writing ATLA fics because I was stuck, absolutely stuck, with an original story over some worldbuilding elements I couldn't figure out. I was infuriated and frustrated by it, so I decided to clear my head and go watch this TV show people kept telling me was soooo good, so I settled on doing that and no longer stressing out about my story...!

... Poor story's been fridged for ten years :') so very cruel of me to do that, I know. And I think that, on top of the fridging, I'm actually bound to have to rewrite the whole thing from scratch one day, so... yeah :'D

The point of sharing this is explaining that, as much as I write up a storm sometimes, I don't ALWAYS do it, it doesn't work with everything, writer's block is no stranger for me, if anything I got waaaay too acquainted with it as a teenage writer who was writing whatever came to mind with zero pressure because it was for her eyes only.

My time writing original fiction as a teenager taught me many lessons, though, and among them, the discipline to write on a regular, constant basis. This isn't something EVERYONE can do, every writer works differently, and I can't pretend I'm permanently, constantly ready to write. But just waiting for inspiration to strike is a dangerous game to play, because... often inspiration arrives for the wrong things, or at the wrong time. I don't write anything out of order if I can help it (though my god, Part 3 is sooo trying to mess with that, organizing this chaotic chunk of the story has NOT been easy x'D), precisely because if I don't push myself through the transition scenes, through the lead-up, and I just jump right into the big moments I REALLY want to write? I'll never write the build-up to it because I'll never feel like it :'D

So, for starters, discipline. The discipline I developed is mostly about being ready to power through when things aren't super engaging. And then, if things didn't feel right because you forced them, you scrap and redo it, specifically by pinpointing the problems that caused things to feel forced. I've had to scrap soooo many ideas that just weren't flowing correctly, and I've had to go around that and figure out other ways to write something, both to make it more engaging and to make it actually work better than whatever I had in mind at first...

... Therefore, secondly, gotta learn to adapt! Once you identify something's not right, or a GREAT idea comes to mind but it potentially derails your previous plans, you slow down to figure out how to adapt, if adapting is possible at all. I actually had some very strange ideas for the arc I'm currently posting in Gladiator, and upon reaching the point where I finally had to write them... I realized that concept didn't work. It might work better on a TV show, maybe, in something audiovisual, because it would have required a lot of switching, back and forth, between two situations that looked the same, at the same time? Kinda? And it just didn't feel right when I finally was supposed to write it, it was too confusing. So... I adapted to what felt right, and I think the result is infinitely better for it :D

Thirdly... which probably should be the first thing, honestly: building scenes.

It sounds weird to say it this way, but this is a key element of how I write stories. It's become such an important part of it that nowadays I've become disgustingly critical of how scenes are built in any content I consume -- I'll have to try and figure out if someone's put my feelings about this into words, maybe in academic essays or books or so, because I admit I really don't know how to explain something that feels so instinctive to me...

But anyway: scene building is the core of how I write. If I were planning on writing a car race, I'd have to think about how that race will end, probably even before I think about how it begins. If it ends with a triumph for the hero, or a defeat, or a brutal accident that causes the race to be cancelled? I have to think about how that would happen, depending on the story I'm telling. Once I settle on the outcome, that retroactively informs then, of what I need to do in order to build this conclusion: how do I develop the characters in order to take them in that direction? And once the conclusion arrives... it has to be the biggest moment of the story. It has to carry narrative weight. A lot of that can be built by setting the stage, something I've found a lot of people don't really seem to think about... but even a small room in a house can be a grand stage for a big story's conclusion if the scene is set properly to pay off there.

So... I build up scenes. When I start thinking about telling stories, the first thing my brain is wired towards is envisioning scenes. Once I come up with a scene that I REALLY want to write, or in some cases, multiple scenes, I start to thread things together. Let's take for example... my "Azula and Sokka as spies" AU from Sokkla Saturdays 2020.

First thing I came up with was the idea, of course, of Sokka and Azula having to work together to save Kuei somehow. The exact threat they were saving him from only came to mind later, what mattered was that they would be in Ba Sing Se, cooperating to put a stop to something dangerous.

Then, I thought of the idea of the two of them being stuck together in a closet or a very tight space, unable to move or do anything because the enemy was right there and would catch them snooping about in the wrong place at the wrong time :'D This specific scene, then, became the core of how I built up that story.

From that core, I started to come up with the conclusion (do they win or lose), as well as how they landed in that situation, what's the threat, why they're working together but as separate agents, what their dynamics would be like in this setting, how their mutual attraction reaches a boiling point in that very specific scene...

And at that point, I just focused on preparing everything and setting the stage in order to tell the story of... how Sokka and Azula wound up locked inside a tight space together in Ba Sing Se's Palace X'D

For me, generating those core scenes is crucial for building a story that I can flow through with the right amount of motivation. I don't really know how other people do it, some people love writing stories without planning anything beforehand, and all the power to them if they can do that. I really prefer building things up towards the outcome I'm aiming for, though. At times, new elements come up in the middle of writing anyway, and you can be surprised by unexpected twists that actually bring new life to your story. You just have to let yourself ride the waves and figure out whether you'd rather choose your destination or let your story choose it for you, in a sense. But for me, setting at least some of the course is what seriously pushes me towards creating the story I want to write.

Gladiator-wise, the key has been this same principle, but in higher frequency. Basically, pretty much every arc I've written has one or multiple core scenes that I built up at the center of it all. Sometimes those core scenes could be very small and contained things... sometimes they could be something massive and chaotic. But I basically have pushed through Gladiator without breaking (even when things did get me down at times) because I had those highlights, important moments to look forward to that motivated me (and still motivate me, we're not done yet!) to keep going and push past the build-up that's necessary for everything that comes next.

... Alright, I hope that made sense X'D

As for Avatar Studios and its upcoming projects, as well as Hicks's next comic... I don't really have a lot to say on that front. I'm on a strict "live-and-let-die" policy with canon since North and South Part 1, pretty much, the last comic I ever read in full... because unless canon actually catches my attention and does things in a way I can respect/enjoy, I'm better off not engaging with it. As I mentioned in another ask not long ago, what really bothers me about the latest direction of this franchise is the lack of purpose in the stories they've been telling. Aang's story doesn't feel that way... but pretty much everything else does. Until I get the sense that they do have a direction and a purpose, I don't think I'm going to be overly concerned with whatever canon does. If I'm told Azula's comic is great, I'll definitely give it a read, but I don't hold out a ton of hope for my peace of mind, too. Better not to get excited only to be disappointed later on, as The Search taught me :'D I'd love it if Hicks can do a good job with the comic, of course, but I'm not passing judgment for or against it until it's out... and after it's out, I'll only pass judgment if I actually decide it sounds like something I want to read. Canon is free to do what it wishes to... I live very happily in my AUs and I have no need for canon validation to do what I do. So... that's my stance on that :'D

[hollow-keys]

For the Doctor Who Asks: 2.0 game- All of the questions! (Or all of the ones that you feel like answering.)

Okay, alright!

1. Why do you love Doctor Who so much?

I'm a big fan of sci-fi in general honestly and always have been, especially if it has a lot of media to pick and choose from and lore to sink my teeth into. Doctor Who is specifically very interesting as a time travel show with a rotating cast and media in several different formats which lends itself to perpetual change and creativity and you can revisit prior eras without derailing the current one.

2. Which Doctor would you most want to travel with?

Two or Three. It's no secret that I love Two, Jamie and Zoe so it is ofc a dream to hang out with my faves. Three is kind and considerate of his companions but he's also the realest when people cross him so I think he'd be nice without being Too Nice yk. I made a joke post about this, but he wouldn't beg the Master to regenerate after tormenting his friends and the entire planet for a year (looking at you, Ten).

3. Which Doctor and Companions would be your perfect Tardis team?

My fave canon team is Two, Jamie and Zoe (Though Five, Tegan and Turlough is also great) but a non canon team? Uhhh. Two, Jamie and Tegan could be fun because she's a strong personality like Zoe but also a layperson like Jamie. I've already said Jamie and Leela in another post (sensing a pattern but he is my guy), Bill could be great on pretty much any team as a true everyperson because she truly is just Normal. Like, the other TARDIS team members are arguing and she just says something that seems obvious in retrospect but nobody else thought of. She can just cut through bullshit frfr.

4. Would you rather hang out with Jamie Mccrimmon or Sarah Jane Smith?

Jamie. Sorry Sarah Jane but he's my guy.

5. Classic Who or New Who?

Classic. NuWho takes itself so seriously sometimes like it's trying too hard to be Mature™ and distance itself from the "silly show for nerds" reputation the Classic series got. I appreciate the budget and the added emphasis on emotional arcs but watching the Doctor go through the same character arc again and again and make a speech about how much murder they've done and how ~morally ambiguous~ they are at least once per season is tiring. This is why later One era, Two, Three and Early Four is peak Doctor Who to me. They're just a bit of a tetchy guy travelling the universe and helping people.

6. Would you rather be a Dalek or a Cyberman?

Would I rather be shot or shot? Hmm. If I choose Cybermen can I be one of the good ones like Bill?

7. What's your favourite story from each Doctor 1-15

Okay, That's tough so I'll give a maximum of 3 per Doctor.

One: Planet of the Giants, The Celestial Toymaker and The War Machines

Two: The Evil of the Daleks, The Mind Robber and The War Games

Three: The Mind of Evil, Day of the Daleks and The Three Doctors

Four: The Arc in Space, The Sun Makers, and State of Decay

Five: Castrovalva, Earthshock and Frontios.

Currently on Six's era and not familiar with Seven or Eight.

I don't remember most of NuWho well enough to comment rn (planning on a rewatch once I'm done with Classic) but for Tenteen (who shouldn't be a separate Doctor to Ten but whatever) it's obviously Wild Blue Yonder and 15 only has two stories which are both kinda mid.

8. Do you think any creatures have been overused? If so, which ones?

Yes. Daleks, Cybermen and to a lesser extent, the Master. The Daleks are a one trick pony, and their one trick can be done better by other villains. The Cybermen are interesting but aren't always utilised effectively/are overused. The Master is more versatile as a three dimensional character and a Time Lord who can regenerate and therefore, change personality but is still sometimes overrelied on where re/introducing other three dimensional villains would have more variety.

9. Who is your favourite Doctor Who writer?

Umm, I don't really have favourite writers? I have stories I enjoy but I don't really have a specific writer where I'm like "This guy gets it!"

10. What is your favourite piece of music from Doctor Who?

And if I say the theme tune is that a cop out? It's just so good.

11-15. Are about Torchwood and Sarah Jane Adventures and I've never watched Torchwood and can't remember enough about SJA.

Thanks for asking!

[kwon-eunbi]

No, that sounds so interesting! How many languages do you speak then? I graduated a while back, but I also got a degree in language and social sciences, it’s so much harder than people think. Like yeah there’s the speaking part of it, but it was around my third weekend in the departmental library getting ready for an oral project in a language not spoken since 900 that I really wondered what I was doing there. How did you get into informational sciences? What’s your favorite class you’re taking (or have taken if this term’s dull)?

I don’t know if you know A.C.E at all, but Jun covered “12:45” about a year ago and I annoyed everyone with my insistence that this is IT this song has PEAKED no one else even BOTHER trying to cover it, but then Wooyoung dropped his and I was like OKAY they can SHARE IT. (The fact that they’re both short kings makes it even better) He’s really got the vocals and is so underappreciated for it.

“Inception” was so good! I know they were teasing “Guerilla” era at the end of the “Answer” video, but in the end I’m glad that was delayed (San’s vocal growth especially over those two years), and that we got something as good as “Inception” as their first derailed-by-covid-comeback. Hongjoong with his blue hair and little half skirts was truly exceptional. And “Say My Name” was also truly Such An Era omg Wooyoung in his little cropped fur jacket go baby go.

It sounds like you like their more melodic songs, what did you think of the tonal shift into “Guerilla”?

I started watching Lucifer, but fell off when I didn’t have time, if it’s good I’ll check it out again! Recently I’ve just been rereading books I loved when I was about fourteen and getting entirely different experiences out of them now. Mostly Discworld, but also quite a bit of Salinger and Rilke, and right now I’m rereading Water for Elephants on the bus every morning.

Sorry to write a whole essay, but I hope you have a wonderfully restful weekend~

--🎅

i mean it is interesting, but i'm just tired of the constant assignments and studying lmaoo. well i do speak two fluently (croatian, my native language, and english), but i do know swedish and german well. i also do know some korean but i definitely need to work on it more haha.

ohhhh wait did you study latin? tbh i loved latin, i had it for two years in high school. but social sciences sounds really interesting, and i definitely agree, it really isn't as easy as people think, especially when you're majoring in certain language you also need to learn everything about the language and the country and culture, not just the language. and well information sciences... actually i thought i'd have some programming subjects but i was wrong about that lmaoo but i can go to become a librarian from it (which i really hope i'll get in) since that is one of the careers i did always want. honestly all subjects this term are boring af.... but i think the ones i liked the most were swedish in the first two semsters and web design basics (which was kinda easy for me since i learned the basics of coding on my own lmao). what about you tho? how many languages can you speak?

ohh yes i do know a.c.e but i didn't know he covered it omg, i'll have to check it out! and sooo true.

yes yes i couldn't agree more! and yes hongjoong in say my name era was def sth else. honestly that era is so iconic! and to think it was only a few months after their debut...KINGS!! and ikrr wooyoungs jacket and the hair and that specific line he has in the chorus oooof forever obsessed with it

yeahh i do like more melodic songs but i did love guerilla! honestly i'm a fan of everything they release. whatever they put out i will devour hahah. but i do like their songs that are more like answer and treasure and inception. wbu tho? what songs of theirs do you like?

ohhh i definitely recommend continuing lucifer. s5 fell off of a bit but it was still good nonetheless. ohhhh i hope you enjoyed rereading them! honestly i was thinking of rereading some of my favorites too (it's not like i don't have a huge tbr list lmaoo) that's not just heartstopper which i reread idek how many times already in the past 3 years lmao

and dw, i love when people talk to me <3 even tho idek who you are yet hahah but i do apologize for even a longer essay in response hahah and i hope you have a good and restful weekend too <333

[elftwink]

no thoughts only taakitz superhero/villain coffeeshop au. taako’s power is shapeshifting but he has a cool gun from lup. kravitz’s power is Big Fuckin Scythe With Unspecified Abilities. also there was no time to get into it but fantasy starbucks isn’t a real starbucks it’s a borderline illegal unaffiliated bootleg starbucks that taako and lup own. like dumb starbucks was.

By all rights, it should have been a fairly routine night for the Reaper. Go out, stop some crimes, arrive just in time to prevent whatever scheme the Mongoose had cooked up this week, exchange some one liners, make some threats that essentially amounted to ‘same time next week?’, the works. A regular Tuesday as a superhero in Neverwinter.

But Kravitz is tired, and more than a little distracted, so he’s not doing so hot on the one liners, and the Mongoose’s attacks are a little closer than they would normally be. He doesn’t even have a good excuse, it’s not like he’s injured, or that he has anything pressing to think of.

It was just— this morning his barista (who he may or may not have been harbouring a small crush on) had mentioned offhand that he thought the Reaper was ‘probably hot under the stupid all-black getup’, and Kravitz didn’t really know what the protocol was for someone complimenting your alter-ego was.

“I think if you were gonna go for the strong silent type, you had to start doing it months ago. Now it’s just acting like an asshole. Are you mad at me?” the Mongoose cuts into his thoughts, firing off another few missiles from his stupid umbrella gun (Umbrastaff, he called it, although it was a gun and not a staff so Kravitz had no idea why he insisted on calling it that).

“We are literally fighting as we speak,” says Kravitz, playing up the cockney accent, spinning his scythe to deflect the missiles off the blade, sending them ricocheting around the room. He’d said something like ‘how can you tell’ to Taako— the barista (well, they’d been on a first name basis for a few weeks, so, Taako), and he’d said ‘I can just tell’ which was not at all helpful in getting Kravitz through the conversation without saying or doing something to give himself away.

He’d almost given Taako his number, but how was he going to justify that? Hey, it’s me under the all black getup. Do you want to go out sometime? As if.

“You can have fights without being fuckin’ rude,” says the Mongoose, firing off another few rounds, which Kravitz deflects again, advancing on him.

“You’re right, sorry. I’m a bit scattered. Not exactly my A game.” As if to prove his point, the Mongoose easily dodges his next couple swings with the scythe, not even bothering to leave his range.

“Clearly. I mean, normally you’re at least close enough that I can feel the breeze from your sword.”

“It’s not a sword, and you know that.” Kravitz brings down the scythe in the space where the Mongoose was only seconds before, having already backflipped out of the way and landed a few metres back. Show off. Not that Kravitz had room to complain about that. The Mongoose spins to face him again, at least this time seemingly aware of what a close call that was. He’s tense, and his hair, which Kravitz supposes has thus far been hidden underneath his costume, has come somewhat unravelled, black braid falling to the middle of his back.

It seems... familiar?

He doesn’t have time for that right now. Kravitz draws back the scythe, feeling the hum of energy under his fingers, swinging again, and—

“Wait! Time out!” the Mongoose puts up a hand and Kravitz, for who knows what reason, stops his scythe mid-swing. The familiarity sticks, so it’s not just a trick of the light. It takes him a second to place, but the hairstyle... it looks a lot like a certain barista he’d been spending all night thinking about.

He shakes his head, trying to clear it. It’s because he has Taako on the brain, is all. Besides, he has other things to worry about besides seeing his crush in his enemy. Namely the fight currently happening with said enemy. “What? You can’t call a time out.”

“I just did,” says the Mongoose, fishing through his pockets and pulling out several bobby pins, sticking them in his mouth so he can use both hands to fix his hair. Kravitz blinks, still trying to shake off the sense of deja vu, but it won’t quit nagging him. “It’s a whole safety issue to leave long hair down.”

“It’s still in a braid,” retorts Kravitz.

“Somebody never took Foodsafe.” the Mongoose gives him a lopsided grin that Kravitz fucking knows he’s seen before, and suddenly it’s more than just passing familiarity, and how could he possibly have not noticed before, and— the Mongoose finishes putting up his hair, raising an eyebrow at Kravitz and his private crisis. “Alright. Ready—”

“You work at Fantasy Starbucks,” blurts Kravitz, without even thinking about it. The Mongoose stops dead in his tracks, and Kravitz can see his eyes widen even behind the mask. He splutters for a moment, and then seems to find his footing, already ready with a snarky remark.

“Yeah, well— your accent is fake.”

Shit. He’d forgotten. At the only time so far that having it would have been useful too. Still, he pushes it out of his mind; the Mongoose hadn’t denied it. And, well, he’s already solidly derailed this fight, so he might as well get some real confirmation out of it.

“...Taako? It is you, isn’t it?”

“Just who the fuck are y—” The Mongoose— Taako— levels the Umbrastaff at him, and then stops again. “...Kravitz?”

Well. Shit. Again. Kravitz doesn’t bother to affirm that; his silence is more than enough confirmation. One of them has to say or do something, but the seconds stretch on.

“You’re telling me I said all that shit to your face this morning?” says Taako.

“That’s what you’re worried about right now?”

“Uh, yeah—” Taako is backing up now, and they’ve fought enough times that Kravitz knows when the Mongoose is looking for an escape route; Kravitz’s feet still feel glued to the floor, even when Taako reaches the window, fingers already turning to talons around the Umbrastaff. Taako breaks the glass (because of course he does, even though the windows aren’t even fucking locked), breaking eye contact with Kravitz in order to swing his legs through the window before his form changes too much. “Look, this is like, a lot right now, and I— I’m getting the fuck out of here,” he says, and then drops. Whatever had been keeping Kravitz in place, slack jawed, ends as soon as Taako leaves his sight, and he’s moving before he has time to think about it.

“Wait—!” Kravitz runs for the window, but by the time he gets there, the bird clutching the Umbrastaff is nearly out of sight.

Well. That could have gone better.

***

Kravitz doesn’t go for his coffee the next day. Or the next day, either, although the day after that he’s sick of making his own coffee. And frankly, he misses chatting with Taako. Even if the guy was trying to kill him like once a week. He couldn’t just avoid this forever.

Still, the fact that Taako is working cash when he comes in makes him want to turn tail and run back home. He conjures up the memory of yesterday’s shitty coffee and pushes onward. The shop is mostly empty still, so there’s no line.

“The usual?” says Taako, like nothing abnormal has happened.

“Please,” says Kravitz, and then, before he can chicken out entirely, adds, “Uhm, do you have a few minutes?”

“My shift isn’t over until—”

“I’ll cover you,” comes Lup’s voice from the back room; she pokes her head out and gives Taako a look that is clearly significant, but that Kravitz can’t quite puzzle out. “Take five minutes after you’re done making his coffee.”

Taako scowls at her, and she smiles brightly before heading to the back again.

“Okay. I guess I have five minutes. Talk to you after I make your coffee.”

Kravitz nods, and goes to hover around the pickup counter, pretending to be interested in things on his phone. Taako makes his coffee in a ceramic mug, which at least means he doesn’t want Kravitz to get the fuck out as soon as possible, so that’s... something.

Taako slides the finished coffee across the counter, circling around to join Kravitz on the customer side as Kravitz grabs the mug.

“Lup!” he hollers, and then starts walking towards one of the corner booths without checking to see if his sister is headed to cash or if Kravitz is following. Kravitz does, though, sliding himself into the seat opposite Taako, hands wrapped tightly around the mug.

Taako speaks first. “To be honest, I kinda thought you would rat me out.”

“That would be shitty of me, to just sic authorities on your place of work without so much as a warning.”

“So is this the warning?”

“No,” says Kravitz, taking a sip of his coffee, “I... can’t really make coffee without burning it. And this is the only place for miles with tolerable muffins.”

Taako cracks a grin, like Kravitz knew he would. “Flattery will get you nowhere.” His smile falls, and he crosses his arms and leans back. “So. Reaper. Why didn’t you rat me out?”

Why indeed. Kravitz takes another sip of his coffee and thinks for a second, not even sure himself what his explanation will be once he starts talking.

“It didn’t seem... fair. You’re less of a villain and more of a pain in my ass—” Kravitz ignores Taako’s indignant noise and keeps talking, “—and while we always have cause to fight when on the clock, you’re not doing anything that I feel needs to leave the bounds of those... work hours, I guess.”

Taako is trying to pick him apart with his gaze; it’s something he’s been subjected to several times, although normally in costume, and in retrospect it’s difficult to imagine how he spent so long not noticing the Mongoose in Taako.

Whatever Taako is looking for, he must find it, because he relaxes a bit, and shoots him a lazy grin. “Plus, Mongoose related insurance just got rolling and it would be fuckin’ rude to take me out of commission before anyone got to use theirs.”

Kravitz laughs. “Sure.” He’s silent for a second, before adding, “You aren’t planning on revealing my secret identity, are you? Awfully rude of you to double cross me like that.”

“Wha— You didn’t even give me a chance to respond! Maybe I wasn’t!”

“Were you?”

“I was,” admits Taako, not even pretending to look sheepish. Kravitz raises his eyebrows, and Taako shrugs. “Oh, like you didn’t think about revealing my secret identity? And could you imagine the hype if I unmasked the Reaper? I was tempted.” He sighs. “But I figured then you’d have no reason to keep my identity a secret. No way am I risking a backfire like that.”

It sounds callous, but Kravitz has been talking to Taako almost daily for months; at this point, he can pretty reliably pick up on when Taako isn’t being entirely truthful about something.

“Hmm. Then I suppose it’d be in my best interest not to tell you that I wouldn’t reveal your identity even if you revealed mine?”

Taako narrows his eyes. “Why not?”

Kravitz makes a face. “It’s just in poor taste. I just think we all go through all the trouble to hide who we are and use these powers for good— or whatever it is you do— that it’s always going to be such a low blow to reveal who we are. There might be times where it’s necessary, but petty revenge is not one of them.”

Taako’s expression hasn’t changed; if anything, he’s narrowed his eyes more. “God, you are like— fuckin’ irritatingly nice. Fine. I wasn’t going to reveal your identity. That would be fuckin’ annoying to deal with. Plus I’m having fun.”

“Fun?”

“Oh don’t— don’t fucking lie to me. I know you’re having fun out there too. With your stupid accent and one liners and shit.”

“Alright, alright,” says Kravitz, rolling his eyes. “But I’m not supposed to be having fun, so keep it quiet.”

“See, that’s why I market myself as a villain. No dumb rules.” He puts an elbow on the table and leans on his hand. “Why do you have a fake accent anyway?”

Heat rises to Kravitz’s face, and he’s hoping he looks less embarrassed than he feels. “It’s my— I do it so people don’t recognize my voice.”

Taako laughs. “Well, it doesn’t really do that if you immediately stop using it when you realize you might know someone.”

“I was caught off guard!” defends Kravitz. “It’s not every day you find out your nemesis is your barista.”

“Nemesis, huh?” Taako grins. “Didn’t realize it was that serious to you. You know I have other heroes to fight.”

Kravitz rolls his eyes again. “I don’t see how you have the time, considering how often you’re causing trouble for me.”

Taako laughs, and it’s so contagious and the whole conversation is so surreal Kravitz can’t help but laugh too, before they both lapse into a comfortable, if drawn out, silence.

“So, uh,” says Taako eventually, “what now?”

“Well,” says Kravitz, “I want to keep coming in for coffee in the mornings. And I assume the Mongoose will continue with... whatever chaos it is you currently have planned.”

“It’s not chaos,” insists Taako, “I have plans. But yeah. And I assume the Reaper is gonna show up and throw a wrench in those plans?”

“Yes, probably. So we’ll just be enemies by night...” Kravitz trails off, not entirely sure how to refer to their by day relationship. Friends? Potential love interests? Acquaintances? There’s a few seconds of awkward silence before Kravitz gives up entirely.

Taako pulls and pen and a napkin out of his pocket, jotting something down and pushing it towards Kravitz.

“Here’s, uh, here’s my number. If you give me a heads up five minutes before you get here, we can have your coffee ready by the time you walk in. If you’re nice to me out there.”

“I don’t take bribes,” says Kravitz, grabbing the napkin and pulling out his phone to type in the number.

“That wasn’t a bribe, it was a threat. You don’t even wanna know what I’ll do to your coffee if you fuck me up.”

Kravitz doesn’t bother to point out that neither of them have ever caused any extreme bodily harm to one another and instead says, “So you’re asking me to go easy on you? I thought you were having fun.” He sends Taako a ‘hey it’s kravitz’ text before he has time to second guess himself.

“Could you stop poking holes in my threats? You’re harshing my fuckin’ vibe, Krav.” He sounds irritated, but Kravitz can see the smile tugging at his lips as he texts Kravitz a couple of skull emojis. “I should get back to work before my sister kicks my ass,” he says, standing back up. “I’ll see you tonight, nemesis.” Then he turns on his heels and heads back to the counter, saying something to Lup as he walks by. Kravitz watches him disappear into the back room.

Tonight.

Kravitz had better make sure he had hung his cloak up to dry.

[biisexualemma]

unrequited pt.2. peter parker

word count: 3.6k

warnings: anxiety, panic attack? i guess kind of

requested: yea a few people asked for this lol

plot: you haven’t seen peter for weeks and start to worry about him

a/n: i finished re-writing this late last night and i’ll be honest with you i haven’t checked it over so sorry if there are any mistakes but i’m tired sis goodnight! lmk if you like this! pls comment / share!

pt.1 / marvel masterlist / multi-fandom masterlist

"ned... you're so wrong for so many reasons," m.j.'s expression was flat, her eyes rolling before she continued to fight ned on who was really the strongest avenger. you were supposed to be working on a group project for your history class but somehow the topic of the avengers came up and the conversation derailed. ned was making a, somewhat, compelling case for the hulk but m.j. was clearly winning with her argument for wanda.

"nobody even knows the full extent of her powers... and the hulk? what? he's gonna smash some more?"

you sat quietly, chin in the palm of your hand, listening in and out of the conversation. you didn't really feel much like contributing. you would occasionally chime in to support m.j. but mostly you just heard the noise of their bickering and let it happen.

you didn't want to be that person, but your mind was (much to your frustration) completely consumed with thoughts of peter. and at the worst time, you had so many tests coming up, and essay deadlines were also creeping up on you. usually you were on top of this stuff, but your mind was preoccupied almost all the time.

because of peter, who was no where to be seen. in the past few weeks he had stopped showing up to school all together. ned said it was something to do with tony stark but you had a feeling it was more than that. you didn't know how to explain it.

you hadn't spoken to him in a long time now, and you didn't exactly leave things on good terms. it was the longest you'd gone without talking since peter called you a poopy head in the third grade.

you just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. especially since you had no idea what he was getting up to, peter was known to get himself into some messes when he was left to his own devices. and you just knew ned was lying to cover for his best friend but that only made you feel even more out of the loop.

everything felt a bit off without peter around, like something was missing. that, on top of the guilt and worry you were feeling, was turning your head to mush. last time you'd spoken to peter, he was erratic and wounded and desperate. something bad had to have happened for him to be gone this long.

the bell rang, signalling the end of your last period for the day, and the rest of the week seeing as it was a friday. you snapped out of your daze, jolting as your eyes focused back on your surroundings.

"what time did you say again, y/n?" your eyes drifted to m.j. who was collecting her notes on her desk, her eyes meetings yours, waiting for your answer. a crease formed between your eyebrows, you hadn't heard a word of the conversation before right now. m.j. seemed to realise this, rolling her eyes at you with a playful smile. you did this a lot lately, she was getting used to it. "homecoming? what time did you want to meet tonight?"

"oh," you nodded, still sitting at your desk as your classmates hustled around you. "right, homecoming— i— uh—"

"tell me you're still coming," ned interrupted, his eyes wide suddenly, clearly desperate that your answer was anything but no. "c'mon we've had this planned for ages!"

"no— yeah— of course i am," you nodded quickly to reassure him. "yeah— sorry— i just spaced. is seven good for you guys?"

they hummed in response, nodding.

you packed up your books, shoving them into your bag, still in a slight haze with all these thoughts running through your head about peter. you couldn't think about homecoming, it seemed trivial now compared to the worst case scenarios running through your mind. maybe you could try to call peter again? you thought to yourself as you quickly left the classroom, forgetting about m.j. and ned and homecoming, your muscle memory alone leading you to your locker.

you swapped out your books from your bag with the ones you needed to study from for your biology test next week. after slamming the locker door shut, a familiar face was met with yours.

"jesus," you muttered as he stood inches away from your face, your heart racing from the shock. clutching your books to your chest, after nearly having a heart attack, you let out a loud sigh and furrowed your eyebrows. "peter? where the hell have you been?" you regained some of your composure, enough to find some anger in you towards him. he was the last person you were expecting to see today.

"you're ok?" his usual soft brown eyes looked sunken and tired, his hair was scruffier than usual and his lips chapped as they hung open, his eyes scanning over you.

your mouth hung open to speak but he just shook his head as if answering his own question. he gripped your forearm, urging you to walk with him. you dug in your heels, yanking your arm back, wanting him to slow down and explain before you went anywhere with him. "will you just walk," he muttered sharply when you tried to resist him. "please," he softened quickly, his eyes meeting yours.

you frowned, uncomfortably shifting the stack of books in your arms as peter pulled you along behind him hastily. you watched his eyes shifting about the hallway as students weaved around the two of you, his grip not loosening for a second. he was definitely up to something stupid and dangerous that he absolutely should not be involved in.

he'd dragged you all the way out into the parking lot, pulling you aside and away from the crowd of people.

"what's going on? why do you look like— i mean no offence but— you look like crap," you couldn't help but show some level of concern. no matter how complicated your feelings were for him at the moment, he was still your best friend, and he looked like hell. you couldn't stop yourself from staring at him.

"i need you to just— stop talking and listen to me," the look in his eyes made your heart beat a bit faster, your eyes darting between his trying to understand his urgency. "you're not safe—"

"no— i'm fine—" you were never very good at doing what you were told. you glanced down at yourself, perfectly safe and standing in front of him. "see?—"

"no— no you're not," he gulped, his eyes darting away from yours for a split second. "i'm taking you home and you have to stay there. ok? please."

his voice was horse, cracking when he spoke. you didn't understand any of it. peter was the friendly neighbourhood spider-man, what the hell had he gotten himself into that had him this worked up?

you tilted your head slightly, he couldn't think you'd blindly do whatever he said. you needed some answers. "pete," you mumbled, shaking your head with a faint frown. "can't you just tell me what's going on? you're kinda' scaring me."

"i screwed up," his face contorted, his eyes screwing shut for a second and his nose scrunching. you were glued to him, following his mixed expressions trying to understand what was going through his head. he took a deep, shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. "and i know you— you hate me and the last thing you wanna' do is listen to me but i need you to do this for me."

"alright," you said after a moments hesitation. you just wanted him to relax. all your pent up anger and hurt that you'd felt over peter had dissipated quite quickly. you were too occupied with trying to ease some of his stress, and if that meant becoming a homebody for a few days, you would do it. "alright— don't worry. i've been putting off my english essay for a week now anyway, it's about time i cracked down on it."

you tried to ease the tension, act like he wasn't asking much of you. he let out a heavy sigh, looking over at you with those brown eyes. "it's homecoming tonight, i know w—"

"is it?" you feigned forgetfulness, not wanting to make him feel any worse than he already did. you shrugged. "i was never one for socialising anyway."

peter knew you better than that. he knew what he was asking you to give up. "i'm sorry," he took a step closer to you, his hands hovering in front of you, unsure that you wanted him to touch you. "i'm sorry you got dragged into this."

your eyes lingered on his hands before you pulled back up to his stare. you pursed your lips and shrugged. "i'd feel better about it if i knew what i was getting dragged into," you pulled away from your conversation for a second to slip your books into your bag. "walk me home and you can explain everything."

and he did. he told you all about the vulture, the weapons, what really happened during the decathlon trip. all of it. right up to when the vulture figured out his identity— which lead to him finding out about aunt may, about his friends, and about you. he told you about how he'd spent the past few weeks figuring out where the vulture's next major deal was being held, how he'd messed up so bad and how mr stark had taken his suit.

by the time he'd finished, your mouth hung open slightly. you didn't know how he'd been dealing with all of this by himself. spider-man helped old ladies cross the street and returned stolen bicycles, he didn't fight men in bird costumes to stop illegal sales of dangerous advanced weapon tech.

"peter, this sounds pretty dangerous," you spoke up after he told you about his plan to intercept the vulture's airplane heist. "don't you think you should just call happy? or tony? this sounds like iron man territory."

"i can't do that," he sighed. "besides, i already tried happy— he's not taking my calls right now. something about a time out."

you let out a heavy sigh, having taken everything in that he'd told you. you had reached your door, peter standing behind you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. you motioned for him to come in but he hesitated, opening his mouth to decline. "c'mon," you grabbed his arm and tugged gently. "this heist isn't happening 'til late tonight. you can keep me company 'til then."

"maybe, get some rest, too, you really do look like hell," he let you pull him inside, following behind you. he ignored the second dig you had now made about his appearance.

"may must've been pretty mad when she found out you'd been skipping school?" you collapsed onto your bed, crossing your legs over and watching peter perch himself on the edge of your bed. he leaned forward, his hand running over his face with sheer exhaustion.

"you have no idea," he groaned, holding his head up with the palm of his hand now. "i'm pretty much grounded for the rest of the year. and i have to send her a pic' of me sitting in every one of my classes from now on," you nodded, pursing your lips because that sounded about right. "but mainly she was worried."

"well, she wasn't the only one," he glanced at you over his shoulder, his eyes lingering there for a while. you breathed through your nose, looking away from him and down to your hands to give yourself a moment. you'd forgotten how difficult it was to have him look at you like that. "you just took off with no word, peter."

he turned his gaze away from you, focusing on the wall in front of him, his eyes glossy. for weeks that last conversation with you had been sitting at the back of his mind. he knew he'd handled everything in the worse possible way. he tried to protect you, hurt you by doing so, and then had everything he tried to protect you from blow up in his face anyway.

"i haven't been able to think clearly for weeks," you gulped, scared to meet his gaze again, in fear that you might lose your confidence. "i missed you. and i was worried out of my mind about you."

"y/n—" his voice was quiet.

"and i know i was the one who told you to leave. but i was hurt and sad. i'd convinced myself that you felt the same way, and when you—" you closed your eyes for a second, feeling him watching you. you hadn't been able to say any of this out loud for weeks and now it was just spilling out of you. "anyway— i shouldn't've punished you for that. they are my feelings i need to get over. it wasn't your fault and i'm sorry i made it seem like it was."

he shook his head faintly, sniffling slightly, catching your attention. "i screwed up," he shook his head a little harder, pushing himself up off your bed, his back turned to you. "i screwed up so bad," he ran his hand over his face, his thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose. your eyebrows knitted. "it wasn't supposed to turn out like this."

"don't," you shook your head, willing him to stop. "it's not your fault. i shouldn't have—"

he cut you off, turning to face you as he did. "i'm in love with you," his mouth hung open slightly, his eyes now stinging red. "i was in love with you then, and i'm in love with you now. i think i always will be."

your eyebrows unknitted, your mouth opening to speak but nothing came out. you watched his hand tug on the ends of his curls, his eyes locked onto you the entire time, trying to read your expression.

"i was trying to protect you and it went completely wrong—" his breathing was erratic. "i thought you'd be safer if i distanced myself—" the look on his face was breaking your heart. he knew how stupid it all sounded now he explained it out loud. "i screwed everything up— and now you're in more danger than ever— because of me."

"you— you—" your brain was trying to keep up. you shook your head. you had spent the past month telling yourself that everything you thought he'd felt for you wasn't real, that you'd over thought everything he'd ever done for you. you'd been telling yourself for a month to move on. "you didn't screw up, pete. i know you. whatever you did, you did for the right reasons."

the lump in your throat was growing as you tried to keep some kind of composure. it wouldn't do either of you any good to get upset with him when he was worked up like this. he didn't need to be told he'd made a mistake, he was already painfully aware.

"you don't— you—but— i—" he was hyperventilating, completely vulnerable as he fell apart in front of you.

"pete," you mumbled carefully, climbing over to where he was stood, hand in his hair and he pulled on the loose curls, his eyes wide with anxiety and stress. you moved your hands to his, pulling them down to his side and giving them a small squeeze. "calm down," you cooed. "everything will be ok."

you trailed your hands up to his shoulders, giving them a soft squeeze before pulling him into a tight hug. you wrapped your arms 'round his shoulders, one hand moving to the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair. his head ducked, burying into your neck, his arms wrapping around your waist in a desperate grip. his breathing was heavy at first, uneven and jagged as he clung onto you. your heart was beating out of your chest, you were sure he could hear it, but you held onto him as tight as you could, pressing your whole body against his trying to offer him as much comfort as you could.

after a while of standing around, holding each other, peter's breathing began to grow softer and slower. he began to notice the sweet scent lingering on your skin. his lips innocently hovering over the curve of your neck, breath fanning against your skin. you could feel goosebumps growing on your skin, the hair of your arms standing on end.

"better?" you mumbled softly. he gave you a faint nod in response, his lips leaving your skin as he pulled himself back from you. your hand slipped from in between his curls and down to the neck, your thumb brushing over his skin as he looked straight into your eyes. you gulped, eyelids fluttering.

he was a state to behold. his nose was pink, under eyes wet, your eyes trailed down to where his lips parted. he hiccuped a breath. you tried to push away the impulse to kiss him because he was clearly vulnerable. you didn't want him to later regret anything. "thanks," he mumbled breathlessly. "i don't know what happened there."

you pouted your lips, about to reply when peters eyes fluttered down your face, catching you off guard. his eyes lingered and you noticed his head tilting down and nearer, his lips catching onto yours before you could register what was happening. it was soft, gentle and didn't last longer than a couple seconds before you had to force yourself to pull away.

"peter— you're overwhelmed right now so maybe we shouldn—"

your whispers against his lips where cut short, he pressed his lips to yours again. unable to resist now he'd had a taste. his arms tightened around your waist, pulling you back flush against his chest. you swallowed a gasp, feeling his full weight behind the second kiss. his lips pushed against yours a little more desperately this time, you fell back a step, peter's arms where the only thing keeping you upright at this point.

both your hands where either side of his neck, trailing up into his hair where you pulled softly at the roots of his messy curls. he let out a soft moan against your lips, and you stumbled back once more, your thighs hitting your bed.

your hands quickly slipped down to his chest as you gently pried him off you. your head was spinning a little, his lips were plump and pink and the way he looked at you, with pure love and obsession, made you want to kiss him again and again.

"did you mean it?" you muttered breathlessly.

his eyes trailed back up from your lips, his gaze locking with yours again. he noticed the vulnerability and fear in your eyes now that he was paying you his full attention. he felt a wave of guilt hit him, knowing he was the one that put that look there.

"yeah," he hummed. "i did," he said with his chest. "i do. always will," he was breathless.

"you're not just saying it 'cause you've missed me?"

he shook his head quickly, shutting down any traces of doubt in your mind. "i have been in love with you since that summer we took that trip to coney island when you threw up after you ate too much cotton candy."

your scrunched up your nose at the memory. "gross."

he shrugged. "i don't know what to tell you. that's just when i knew."

your lips twitched into a small smile. "you should probably get some rest," you diverted the topic, trying hard not to kiss him again. he looked so tired. he had poured out months worth of anxiety and stress all in the past ten minutes. "you can't chase bad guys if you're half asleep."

he wore a half-hearted smile, his mind clearly flickering back to the task he had to take on later tonight.

"you can crash here if you want," you motioned to your bed.

"y'sure? i don't wanna get you in trouble."

"mom's working late, so you're good. plus she loves you, pete," your hands slipped down to his, giving them a quick squeeze of reassurance.

"sure she'll still love me when she finds out about us?" he quirked an eyebrow, the small smile on his lips was sloped and tired.

"m'sure," you hummed, biting back your growing smile at the word us. you moved him to sit on your bed again, his hands lazily holding yours. his eyelids fluttered as he looked up at you, a small crease forming between his eyebrows again. you could tell his mind was wandering again. "lie down, you need to rest or you're no good to anyone."

he nodded hesitantly and followed your instruction. "i'll sleep better with you next to me."

his voice was soft after you'd turned your back on him to leave him to rest. you rolled your eyes faintly, smile tugging your lips again. "is that right?"

he hummed, his arms outstretched, waiting for you to fall into them. you dragged your feet back over to him, biting the inside of your cheek, the corner of your lip twitching upwards. "there's a scientific reason behind it but my brain's too sleepy to think right now, so you'll have to take my word for it."

his words slurred together, his eyes rolling slightly the longer he forced them open. you just nodded. "alright, spidey, just this once."

"hm," he hummed as you climbed in next to him, his arms wrapping around you and immediately pulling you against his chest. "thanks," he muttered, his lips pressed against the top of your head. "don't know what i'd do without you."

[bookofmirth]

Fandom! Just curious...like wouldn't SJM be aware of the fandom chaos? Even in some form? Maybe I'm just a bit anal and obsessive but when/if I publish a book I'd look into what my fans are thinking and if things got this bad release a statement or something. Am I just not that intune with what the publishing/author things are like? Or am I just more anti sjm than I originally thought I was. Because this is not okay and no one is holding these people, whatever ship they are, responsible.

No, I really doubt she knows. And personally, I don't think it's her responsibility. We built this mess, we are the ones behaving and reacting this way. It's ours to clean up.

Sorry, I get on my soapbox a bit here re: the acotar fandom.

From what I know, sjm intentionally keeps herself out of any sort of internet discussion. In one of her most recent events, she said that she doesn't even have any social media apps on her phone, and just uses it to play solitaire or something like that. And I think that Steph said she doesn't tell Sarah about any of it because of her mental health. There is 0 reason for her to need to know that people were joking about kidnapping her kid or her husband choking. The fandom is such a clusterfuck right now, that how would she be able to see through the noise to the actual, useful information, not to mention how could she engage with it?

I think there are some good reasons for this - I can't even imagine how I would react to seeing an entire anti community dedicated to me and my work. A lot of the criticism or discussion online is... suspect, at best. What good would it do her to read someone's headcanon? Or someone's completely subjective analysis of a scene? That's also tricky territory because authors aren't supposed to see any written fan work stuff, or they could be accused of taking ideas from people. I'd also rather she not know because I don't want fan service books. I want the organic story she wants to tell.

Also, fandom is a completely separate monster that the books, the publisher, and sjm did not create. Our behaviors are our responsibility. It's like the Wild West out here and some of us are taking full advantage to be assholes they always aspired to be. But there is no Fandom Police, which in cases like yesterday, kinda sucks.

I understand the desire to want sjm to make a statement. When Steph was getting a raft of shit for not shipping elriel anymore, I thought that surely Sarah would say something. I thought now this is personal, so she should get involved. But the thing is - and this is why I often choose not to reblog things with negative content - her response would also give that behavior a larger platform and more attention. And for someone with sjm's following? It would be 1000000% times worse.

And honestly? Even if she did say something, then people would just cry "death of the author" (inaccurately, might I add) and continue doing whatever they want to do. There is a fundamental lack of respect for other people that these behaviors indicate, and Mommy Sarah coming out and chiding everyone isn't going to make it better. People need to be held accountable, but it so quickly spirals into deflection, defensiveness, and then rerouting the conversation to insult OP, that what's the point? Sometimes I want to hold people accountable, but at the end of the day, that's not my job or responsibility, and all I can do is control my own actions.

My advice is to just be vigilant with who you do and don't follow, freely use the block button, and don't go into spaces that you know aren't safe. Right now, that's almost all of Twitter, and from what I hear, BookTok isn't that great either. I stick to tumblr, I have tags blocked, and I have about 40-50 fandom-related blogs blocked.

Unfortunately - and this is what makes all of this even worse - the fandom is proving itself to be very unsafe for people of color, and that's disgusting to me. It's disgusting and embarrassing and makes me want to peace out when people are just here trying to have fun, and a woman of color who rightfully calls out disgusting behavior is then subjected to something 1000% worse, essentially derailing the conversation away from the actual problem - racism, sexism, homophobia, and ableism in the fandom - and turning the discussion into tone policing.

And that is what happened yesterday. Instead of reflecting and saying "wow, this fandom is doing shitty, racist, ableist things", the discussion turned into "omg why is OP calling people out, OP thinks she's so smart, OP needs to say these things differently, OP should be nicer", etc. etc. But that means WE NEVER END UP ACTUALLY CRITIQUING THE ORIGINAL PROBLEM OF RACISM, SEXISM ETC. IN THE FANDOM. The entire discussion gets skewed elsewhere and we are right back where we started. With people being problematic assholes, and others being afraid to say anything about it.

(The way those phrases have been used as weapons in ship wars is a separate issue.)

I know I went way beyond your original question, but I think that as a fandom, we have way more responsibility for our own actions than Sarah does for calling them out. And I am putting this in all the tags because I think everyone needs to see it.

[dukeofonions]

Is it just me or do I feel like Thomas is shooting himself in the foot with these asides videos.

I mean when it comes to the season 2 finale how are you going to explain Roman's emotions post pof when its literally been retconed in FWSA with only a little bit of Roman angst that hes mostly happy after hes got Thomas something he wants.

To be honest FWSA felt like it should be the season 2 finale.

In my opinion the only option is to now retcon Roman to Be Janus Disgusted as Roman during FWSA or have it revealed he was only pretending.

I've actually made a whole post about this, but I'm gonna rant about it again anyway because I have a personal grudge against Asides and will take any opportunity I can to rant about it.

They're literally writing themselves into a dead end here with both Roman and Virgil, seeing as both recently had something big happen happen them. You got Roman's breakdown at the end of POF and then you have Virgil's confession at the end of DWIT.

It looks like they were setting up some scenario where it's Roman and Virgil vs everyone else (especially Thomas) but both of their big moments have been retconed by Asides.

Literally the first episode takes away any potential conflict between Virgil and Thomas over him being a former "dark side" because the two have made up in a pretty lack luster way. What was the point of building that dramatic reveal up only to brush it aside? (Haha, get it?)

Even if I have some issues with the whole "Virgil being a past dark side" I wouldn't have cared if it had a satisfying conclusion but I highly doubt that now. Especially since anything interesting that could have come from that is gone.

(Somewhat unrelated note we also don't get to see Virgil's reaction to Janus earning Thomas and Patton's trust because Thomas confirmed in a live stream that he already knows it happened so there goes any confrontation between Virgil and Thomas in the finale)

And then you got Roman in FWSA where he acts as if nothing happened in POF. I figured we wouldn't see Roman again until the finale (I had thought the same about Virgil) since he feels betrayed and hurt by Thomas and Patton and probably wouldn't want to see them but nope, there he is acting like his usual self. Cracking jokes and looking nothing like how he was at the end of POF.

How are they going to address what happened in POF if Roman is suddenly in such a good mood and happy about Thomas getting a boyfriend? In my opinion FWSA could have been the start of season three, and originally I thought the episode took place sometime after season two only for it to be confirmed that it happens right after POF which makes things even more confusing.

If you follow the episodes starting from Selfishness vs Selflessness and ignore Asides you've got a pretty solid story going and POF is clearly meant to lead right into the finale.

But instead we keep getting these Asides that keep adding on more and more to a story that already has a lot going on. There's a chance the finale will showcase all the characters, all of which have something going on with them that they somehow have to resolve with one more season (not to mention a whole new character is on the way) so why keep making things more complicated when everything was already set up for you?

Sorry to kinda derail your initial ask but the whole concept of Asides confuses me because it doesn't make any sense. The fact that it's it's a year since POF and we still don't have a conclusion to that episode and are instead focusing on whatever Asides is doing is just frustrating.

[uselessheretic]

banri day?? banri????? i dont have anything new but ill post a scene from wip that will never be finished where juza goes to camp for two  weeks and banri experiences realizashuns

Banri rolled through morning practice like a derailed train. 

“What the fuck,” he repeated for what may have been the twelfth time that day. 

“Well,” Omi said while cocking his head and squinting at the screen. “I’m glad he’s making friends!” 

“Since when did Hyodo have friends?” Banri asked.

“We’re his friends.”

“And that’s a fat fucking L on your part, but me? I’m built different.”

Omi frowned as he puzzled over Banri’s words. “I’m sorry. I do not know what most of that sentence means.” 

“God Omi,” Banri said while sucking his teeth. “You’re so old.”

“I’m three years older than you.”

Banri furrowed his perfectly tweezed eyebrows as he considered that. “Nah, that’s fake.” 

Azami, interested in the conversation for the first time, took one of his earbuds out. “I have theories,” he stated. 

“About Hyodo?”

“Why would I––Nevermind. Anyways, I think Omi is evading tax fraud.” The way Azami stated it made it sound like he had put a lot of thought into this. It was a convincing argument.

“Hm…” Banri considered it.

“I’m a student…” Omi defended himself. 

“Yeah, tell that to the government, Boomer.” 

“I have an ID!”

“And I’m from a Yakuza family. I know that shit’s easy to fake, but whatever.” Azami gestured to his eyes signalling a I’m watching you warning. 

Banri slapped Omi on the back of his freakishly broad shoulders. “Come on, you are kinda a whole ass mom. I don’t know what aged you up like that.”

Azami scratched at his head, also thinking about it. “Trauma?”

“Maybe?” 

They both looked to Omi, who just shrugged in response. 

“I mean, yeah, probably,” he agreed. 

Mystery solved, Banri was more than ready to go back to the subject at hand. 

“I wanna see!” Taichi made grabby hands towards the phone still in Omi’s hands. Omi tossed it to him, and Taichi, only fumbling a little, made a triumphant noise when he caught it. His eyes flew wide when he pulled up the screenshot of Kazunari’s post. 

“She’s cute!” Taichi announced in a shocked voice. 

“It’s insane!” The beginning of a tension headache was starting to form. Banri rubbed viciously at his temples, as if trying to drill into his skull and rip the migraine out of his head. 

Taichi wasn’t helping as he cried out in jealousy. “No fair! I want to talk to a girl who’s that cute!”  

“She’s not that cute,” Banri mumbled. 

“Yes, she is!” Taichi insisted. “Azami, what do you think?” 

Azami yelped as Banri’s phone was shoved in his face. Reluctantly, he took a quick peak. “She has nice skin. It looks smooth and healthy. I think she needs a lighter moisturizer though. Juza better be wearing sunscreen out there.” 

“See, even Azami said she was a total babe!” Taichi said, triumphantly. 

“I didn’t say that!” Azami sputtered out. 

“When did she become a babe?” Banri complained. “What happened to cute?” 

With a serious expression, Taichi placed a hand on Banri’s shoulder. “Bro, you can be cute and a babe at the same time. Girls are versatile like that.” 

He put a little too much force in slapping Taichi’s hand away. “Shut up. Anybody would look cute next to Hyodo’s busted up mug.” 

Omi hummed in thought. “Do you think you might be a bit jealous, Banri?”

“Huh?” It was a ridiculous assumption, so ridiculous that it left Banri devoid of words and with his mouth hanging open in shock. 

Jealous? Jealous of what? That Hyodo could talk to some girl that wasn’t even that cute? 

Okay, maybe she was a bit cute in a tomboy-ish way, but “babe” was still going too far! She was just some girl. One with nice skin and a pretty smile who happened to be talking to Juza. 

There was no reason for Banri to be jealous because Banri was perfectly capable of walking outside and finding a girl twice as attractive to chat up. There was nothing special about getting lucky that a chick could stand his presence for long enough to engage in what was probably a dry and awkward conversation.

“Banny? You in there?” Taichi’s voice broke through like a lighthouse through fog, snapping Banri out of his thoughts as he waved a hand in front of his face. 

“Why would I be jealous of Hyodo?” Banri finally spit out. “I can pull girls way hotter than that.”

Omi chuckled awkwardly and turned away. “Not exactly what I meant, but sure.”

“It’s just a surprise is all! Since when did Hyodo talk to girls? Forreal, when has anybody ever seen him talk to any girl?”

“He talks to The Director!” Omi said.

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t figured out that The Director’s a girl.”

And in a show of impeccable timing, that was the exact moment Izumi decided to enter the practice room with Sakyo trailing behind her. 

“Come again?” Izumi asked. 

“What the hell are any of you talking about?” Sakyo’s voice was practically a snarl. 

“No, really. Come again?” Izumi repeated herself, a smile on her face as she cocked her head in a questioning manner. 

Deciding that Sakyo was the less frightening of the two options to deal with, Banri held his phone up as he called out to him. “Furuichi! Hyodo’s being a whore on Instablam!”

A fascinating mixture of exhaustion, anger, regret, and even more exhaustion colored Sakyo’s expression. Knowing he didn’t want to hear an answer, but aware that there was no way to avoid it, Sakyo asked, “What?”

Omi tried to reign the conversation in as a voice of reason. “Banri’s just a bit worked up is all.” And then, in a stage-whisper that was completely useless, he said, “He’s jealous that Juza’s talking to a cute girl.”

“I’m not fucking jealous and she’s not fucking cute!” Banri yelled at a reasonable volume considering the circumstances.

“Christ on a fucking cracker,” Sakyo had reached the limits of his patience. “Everybody shut the hell up! Practice begins NOW!”

The small group of actors broke up, taking their cue to start setting up for practice, something they should’ve done fifteen minutes earlier. 

“She is cute though! Director, you should see!” Taichi said as he tried to carry too many chairs at once to clear the floor. 

“Banri’s just being mean,” Omi agreed as he took the majority of the chairs out from Taichi’s arm who had begun to tilt dangerously. 

“No, this whole thing is just bullshit is all,” Banri argued. “That has to look bad for the company, right? Isn’t he supposed to be acting, not slutting it up in the woods.”

“What?” Izumi asked. “What does any of that even mean, Banri!” 

Banri handed her his phone, pouting as he saw Sakyo take a half-interested peek over her shoulder. 

“Aw, he’s making friends!” Izumi said with not even a hint of slutshaming. 

“How is that allowed?” Banri asked. “And since when did he talk to girls? Come on, I can’t be the only one stumped by that!” 

The others in the room made some vague mumbling noises.

“I mean, did he lie though?” Azami said. 

“He’s allowed to make friends. That’s what camp is for! Do you think girls and boys can’t be friends, Banri?” Izumi’s voice was tactfully disappointed. 

“Don’t try to trap me, I took a Women's Studies course last semester,” he said while crossing his arms. “I know chicks and dudes can hang, or whatever.”

“I–Chicks? Seriously, Banri?” 

Banri blinked in confusion. “What? It’s not like I said bitc–”

Before he could finish his sentence, Sakyo smacked him in the back of the head. Hard. 

“Watch yourself,” Sakyo warned him. He sighed as he watched Banri rub at the sore spot pouting. “What would you even want me to do? Give him the birds and the bees speech?”

Banri balked at the suggestion. “Gross… I can’t even imagine what that’d be like.” 

“What?” Sakyo asked. “Do you need it explained too, Settsu?” 

“It’s awful,” Azami spoke with blank eyes that had seen horror. “Don’t do it. Save yourself.” 

“Juza and lady sitting in a tree,” Taichi sang out. “K-I-S-I-N-G!” 

“Shut up!” Azami shoved at Taichi with a bright red blush. “That’s disgusting!” 

“Agreed,” Sakyo said with an affirmative nod. 

Omi mouthed the letters while ticking them off on his fingers, “I think you may have missed a letter, Taichi. There should be two S’s,” 

“Huh? Are you sure? K-I-S-Ohhh!” The world’s smallest lightbulb sputtered on above his head. 

“No, it’s S, Taichi. S,” Omi tried to correct him. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

“Yeah, I got that!” Taichi said. “Juza and lady sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-”

“No!” Azami yelled. 

“Huh?” Omi said while furrowing his eyebrows. “It’s definitely two S’s. K-I-S-” 

“Stop talking about kissing!” Azami begged. He covered his ears, sinking to the floor in a horrified teenaged ball. 

Meanwhile, Banri stood off to the side. Tired. Defeated. “Izumi?” he called for The Director weakly.

“Yes?” she asked with concern in her voice. 

“I think I’m in hell.” He could barely speak above a hoarse whisper. 

Izumi patted him on the back, gentle and caring. “It’ll be okay, Banri. Although we will need to circle back to that ‘bitches’ thing later, kay?”

[tarantulas4davey]

HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm

HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES

i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.

also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3

here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!

also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO

here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig

OK SO

this is after his debut. duh. continuation

i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc

let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD

everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there

so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)

now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?

and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)

and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent

the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove

he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep

and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.

it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed

the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it

not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too

jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.

race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is

round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.

he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace

he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night

but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off

this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.

this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.

i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with

the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath

so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly

the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding

he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview

“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”

“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”

and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question

“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”

and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration

he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race

he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess

“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”

“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”

“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”

“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”

and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside

and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart

and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly

but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera

or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit

but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing

GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY

but Yeah. Them.

i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it

[fishmongeringstudies]

scene four: tongues

one time someone asked me to say sorry.

'huh?' the asparagus clamped between my chopsticks began to slide towards the bottom of my lunch box, forgotten. i frowned. 'did i do something wrong?'

'no,' he said, laughing. 'i just want to hear how you pronounce it.'

'so i'm saying it wrong.'

'that's not what i mean.'

'then what do you mean?'

'i mean i'm curious.'

i stared at him. 'no.' i picked up my asparagus. he poked at his biscuits with his fork. time passed, birds sang overhead, snow fell outside the window.

'you know-' he started.

the asparagus on sundays sucks. on weekdays they roast it but on sundays they boil it in a huge pot of water in that grim, white-tiled kitchen that i've only gotten a few glimpses of and then it's a straight path to the metal pans that appear behind the glass when you step into the dining hall, hoping someone will betray your well-set expectations and for once, the 'fish' will be 'salted'. i didn't know why i'd asked for it to begin with. last week i hadn't. this week i had brought what i hoped would become a friend with me, though he was, by all accounts, still a stranger.

'what.'

'the way you say sorry feels kinda canadian to me,' he said thoughtfully. 'not justin bieber-canadian, but, like, old-fashioned canadian. see? like this.' he puckered his lips. 'sooh-ree.' he nodded to himself like he'd just accomplished an incredibly impressive feat. 'the way you emphasize the 'oooh' sound. no one says it like that here.'

when i was ten i had a weird phineas and ferb phase. we didn't have cable tv so i'd look up the episodes on youtube in splintered halves and thirds, watch whatever i could find in 240p and look up the plot synopsis for the bits i couldn't. perry the platypus was my favorite character at first, because he was turquoise (turquoise was my favorite color when i was ten) and he had a cool hat and he had a knack for appearing in places that one typically didn't expect a platypus to appear in, which both resonated with and annoyed me, but eventually i lost interest because perry the platypus didn't have a voice. he was a platypus, after all.

'huh.' there were still two spears of asparagus left in my box but i didn't feel like eating them anymore.

he leaned over the table, his eyes bright and searching, like a child's.

'am i right?'

when i was ten i sounded sort-of-american for a few months. i remember even my mom picked up on it after a while, commenting mildly over dinner that i was speaking differently wasn't i, i almost sounded like i did when i went to the international school, and i remember flushing with pride, choking on my rice, having to excuse myself to the bathroom immediately afterwards to hack it all up in the sink. after all, i'd been practising. if perry the platypus had had a voice, i would've practised his lines too. but he didn't. so i practised with the others. i hit pause and play and pause and play, repeating things out loud, sounding out the vowels, trying to nail each word to the wall on the other side of my room like i was holding a pistol in a gunfight, not my heart.

the first time i went outside in america we were in washington dc and my friend took me to target. it took everything in me to say thank you to the lady behind the counter. i don't know if she heard me.

am i right?

i shrugged. 'i dunno.'

'admit it,' he said smugly, which i thought was quite bold of him seeing how all i really wanted to do right then was punch a hole through the wooden floorboards and drop into the freezer section of the cafe below like a cannonball, killing myself and everyone in a fifteen-mile radius around me instantly. 'i got it right.'

there were a lot of things i could've said to him in that moment. i could've said i was born in texas nineteen years ago to parents from fifteen other parts of the world, or i could've told him about the dream i'd had last night where i was stuck in a supermarket and someone had ripped my vocal chords out but left every other part of me intact, or i could've told him about how there are between nine and ten thousand species of birds on earth and all of them are pretty cool, what do you think of birds, dude, what do you think of this country? did you know? most americans don't think they speak with an accent. to them the american accent is the default, is the way english should be spoken, is the thing they'll stick in the dictionary that the martians will discover thousands of years from now when humanity finally wipes itself out and the trees are left to retrieve their hands from their coffins. when you're american you're always right. the rest of us are deviations from the norm. aberrations. mistakes.

the first time i saw asparagus in america i was getting dinner in the dining hall and it was monday, so the asparagus was roasted, not boiled. 'can i get the asparagus?' i asked. the lady behind the counter looked at me for a moment, expressionless, then pointed at the stalks of green vegetables in the metal tray to her right. 'you mean the asparagus?' i nodded.

in the spring i took a class called intro to linguistics, taught by a kind, square-shaped man with round glasses and minecraft stans for kids who told us on the first day of class, his green beatles background flickering awkwardly behind him, that there is no such thing as bad english. i didn't believe him at first the way i am inclined not to believe anything i'm told without being slapped in the face with it a few times in times of dire need, but eventually i came around. 'i feel like every time i open my mouth i am standing on a big empty stage with a microphone in one hand and everyone is waiting for me to speak,' i wrote in my first assignment for that class. what i meant was: i am scared to death of being heard. what i meant was: i do not feel like a person here.

did you know? as far as we're aware, humans are the only species on this planet that uses words. we built this damn thing out of sawdust and sadness, pouring centuries of sound and sight and sensation into a system that's so fucked up, your only options are either to be born in it or to force your way in with a chainsaw. every day some guy in the youtube comments section of your favorite video, you know the vine where the kid smiles into the camera like she's just shaken hands with god and then points at the field of ducks behind her and goes, 'look at all those chickens!', every day some guy goes to that exact video and replies to some stranger's comment to let them know it's 'you're' not 'your'. every day someone derails a discussion about bitcoin on reddit with a well-placed apostrophe. every day someone laughs at a friend and says they sound a little old-fashioned, a little canadian, none of the kids say it like that anymore, you know? it's weird. you're weird.

so be weird. be a public riot. be that one guy who goes into the dining hall every day and mispronounces half the words on the board, because who the fuck learns how to pronounce asparagus in history class? english literature? i don't even LIKE asparagus. i'm just trying to eat my fucking vegetables, for fuck's sake. i'm just trying to make sure that every once in a while when i open my mouth and something climbs out, someone else catches it. like maybe one day it'll be something beautiful. like maybe one day it'll be a star.

and if you're ever trying to eat your fucking vegetables and someone tells you you're speaking funny, breathing funny, shaking your left leg under the table funny, and if ever you find yourself far from home and struggling to make the words look less like monsters and more like symbols for sadness and someone laughs at that, someone thinks your pain is amusing, then you know what? eat them too. and don't you even think of saying sorry.

::

in the remastered version of this scene he asks me am i right and i say no, you're a dick, and then i leave.

05.24.21