#sorry i just realized how long it is too lol
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rosenclaws · 21 hours ago
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arghjsw what abt prompt 45 and 76 from fluff list, drunk! au with the worst!wolverine?
“Will you stay the night?” “Kiss me like you mean it.”
warnings: drinking, reader throws up twice lol, he calls u princess once
wc: 1.3k
600 follower drabble masterlist
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"Holy fuck, what did Wade put in this?" You shout to Logan who was only standing a foot away from you. You don't even realize you're shouting. In your defense you were...pretty drunk. You had to be if you wanted to talk to Logan like this.
Sober you could barely get a few sentences out without feeling like an idiot. He's just so intimating and he's got this wall built around him that feels impossible to break.
"I don't know princess." Logan says with an amused look on his face. You were completely hammered and Logan found it very funny.
"I should go ask him." You lean on him, patting his chest and leaving your hand there for a little too long.
Sober you would be mortified. As you take a step you stumble and Logan is quick to catch you. The look on your face worries him as you grab onto his shirt.
"Hey, everything okay?" Logan asks.
You try to answer him but feel a rumbling in your stomach. Fuck. You push against Logan's chest and bolt to the bathroom. Whatever Wade put in that punch didn't sit well with your stomach. As you empty your guts into the toilet you feel a hand on your back.
"Logannnn." You whine as you sit back on the floor. Thank god you were wasted because this would be utterly mortifying.
"It's okay, I got you sweetheart." Logan chuckles as he takes a towel and wipes your mouth.
"Wanna go home." You say with a pout. "
How much did you drink?" Logan asks while shaking his head, a small smile on his face as he bends down and helps you up.
You wrap your arms around his strong neck and groan as he lifts you off the ground. He's half carrying half dragging you back to your apartment. Listening to all your drunk rambling with a smile.
"You're so handsome, like it's not fair. Fucking 200 year old hot guy." You boop his nose and he just raises an eyebrow at you.
"What?" You ask innocently.
"Nothing." He replies. He thinks you're absolutely adorable.
As you reach your door you try and get the key in the lock but struggle. Logan tries to take them from you but you end up dropping them instead. Both of you reach down for it, hands knocking against each other. The alcohol running through your veins blocks any sense of embarrassment and impulse control you have. You just look into his pretty hazel eyes and you can't help yourself.
You kiss him.
It's quick. Just a peck but you do it. He's stunned as you pull away. Silence between the two as he grabs your keys and unlocks your door. Your stomach starts to churn, not from nausea but from the lack reaction from Logan.
He's gentle as he brings you to your bedroom. Helping you brush your teeth and stepping out of the room while you change. He comes back to you snuggled up in your bed.
"Everything alright?" He asks and you nod.
"Wait!" You call as he starts to leave, your hand reaching for his wrist.
"Will you stay the night?" Logan hesitates.
"I don't think that's a good idea sweetheart," Logan sits on the edge of the bed, brushing your cheek with his hand. "
M sorry for kissing you, I just don't want to be alone." Your emotions were haywire as tears slip down your face. Logan sighs and relents.
As you bury yourself under the covers he gets on the other side, laying on top of them fully clothed. He crosses his arms as you roll over to face him.
"G'night." You mumble as sleep takes you without much fight.
Logan doesn't fall sleep as easy. His mind is too focused on the kiss. You kissed him and if he was being honest he hopes you kiss him again. A part of him worries this was just drunk you talking. That it was a mistake that you'll pretend it never happened come sunrise. He can only hope you feel the same when the alcohol is gone.
-
Waking up to a pounding head is not how you wanted to start your morning. You roll on your back and feel something strong and sturdy blocking your path. Looking over your shoulder you see Logan. Asleep. In your bed. What the fuck. You immediately roll back over. The memories of last night coming to you.
Oh fuck, you kissed Logan. You kissed. The man you've been harboring a crush on for the last few months. Your stomach rumbles and it doesn't take long for you to realize what it was.
Throwing the covers off you scramble to the bathroom. You barely notice waking Logan up in the process as you're a little preoccupied. After you're done...you know. You brush your teeth and leave your bathroom.
To your surprise Logan is gone. Maybe he left to avoid the embarrassment of what happened. Or maybe he just hates you know. As you trudge to your kitchen you find him rummaging through your drawers. Water and Advil sitting on the counter.
"Where the fuck is your bread?" Logan grumbles as he slams a cupboard door shut.
"I don't have any." You groan as you grab the medicine.
"Was gonna make you toast but..." He trails off, not sure what to say. You shrug and sip the water.
There's an awkward silence that settles over the room. Do you talk about it? Or do you pretend it never happened. It was killing you, he wouldn't say anything and you just needed to be done with it.
"Look Logan, I'm really sorry for last night. I shouldn't have kissed you like that and I, I just hope I didn't make things weird." You say, noticing how Logan almost...deflates? Like he's sad by what you had said.
"Don't worry sweetheart. I get it, it was the alcohol. If you want to forget it, consider it done." He gives you a half smile and he seems to close himself up again. Was he disappointed? The way he phrased things, if you wanted to forget.
"Do you want to forget it?" You ask shyly.
If you're reading this wrong it could implode the friendship you had built with Logan. But if you were right, oh god you really hoped you were right. He sighs and walks around the counter. You feel yourself grow nervous as he stands between your legs.
"No. I don't want to." He confesses. Your breath catches in your throat as you take in his words.
"I don't either." You whisper. Logan smiles and takes your chin in his fingers, his eyes growing softer as he admires your face.
"Good. Now that you're sober, you can kiss me like you mean it." He growls, his voice sending shivers down your spine.
You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into you, smashing your lips onto his in hot kiss. He groans as you tangle your fingers into his hair. He lets go of your chin to grab your legs and warp them around his waist.
"Fuck, this is better than I imagined." Logan says as you pull apart.
"Logan..." You pray this isn't just some dream, that you're really here in his arms.
"Yeah sweetheart?" He hums as he buries his face in your neck.
"I really like you..."
"Yeah? Couldn't tell when you drunk kissed me last night." He teases. You huff as you let go of Logan who doesn't like that one bit.
"Not funny," He grins as he picks you up with ease, damn that super strength is hot.
"I like you too, a lot." He growls.
He heads to your bedroom, hell bent on showing you just how much he really likes you.
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girlscomehome · 1 day ago
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the babysitter: revised
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pairing: babysitter!abby x fem!reader cw: NSFW & MDNI
 kinda
 college!reader, Y/N use imsry, reader is a big family guy lol, not proofread. wc: 1.7k a/n: hiiiiii i was on hiatus for sooo long
 so here’s a revised vers of the babysitter bc it makes me cringe and lowk this vers does too and it's a series
 :p
“I-I know, Mom! I know! I’ll be home next break, I promise,” you shift the phone from your left cheek to your right, pinching it between your shoulder and ear to keep it steady. “I’m kind of busy right now
 I’ll call you later, okay? Sorry!” You hang up quickly, stifling a giggle at her persistence.
She has no idea, you think to yourself, biting back a grin.
You stuff your phone into your back pocket and hurriedly shove an armful of clothes into an old, worn duffel bag. Grabbing a sticky note, you scribble, At parents’ house. Don’t eat my snacks. Love, the best roommate ever, Y/N. Slapping it onto your desk, you speed-walk out of the dorm, already pulling your phone back out to punch in your childhood home address on Google Maps.
Finally. After months, you’re home. You’ll get to see your brother’s chubby little face, and feel the warmth of Mom and Dad’s hugs. You missed this—being small, being here. Even your brother, who still wears those ridiculous Star Wars onesies, feels like a comfort you’ve been craving.
You relax your shoulders as your grip on the steering wheel loosens, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. In quick motions, you grab the spare house keys from the glove compartment, sling your duffel bag over your shoulder, and step out of the car.
As you approach the house, your eyes scan it with a mix of nostalgia and surprise. The pale blue paint has faded, the window sills are cracked, and the roof shingles look
 tired. It’s only been a year, you think, your chest tightening. How do Mom and Dad look?
You twist the key in the lock as quietly as possible, ease the door open, and shut it with a soft click.
“Surprise!” you yell, dropping your bag with a thud and throwing your arms wide, expecting Mom and Dad to leap out in shock and joy.
Except
 that’s not what happens.
Instead, you’re greeted by a tall, muscular blonde woman who looks like she could bench-press you. Her eyebrows shoot up, her blue eyes narrowing as she stands from the couch with a startlingly intimidating presence.
“Who the fuck are you?” she demands, her tone sharp, her stance defensive. She looks ready to throw hands.
“W-Wait! I’m Y/N!” you stammer, stepping back. Her expression hardens. “Y/N Y/L/N!” you repeat, this time emphasizing your last name like it’s supposed to mean something to her.
Her posture softens just a little. “Oh. Shit. Sorry,” she mutters, brushing a hand through her blonde braid. “I’m Abby. The babysitter. I forgot the Y/L/Ns had another kid.”
You laugh nervously, picking your bag up. “Yeah, I’m the older one. Where’s my brother?”
“Upstairs. Asleep,” she says flatly, gesturing toward the staircase. “I’m just waiting for your parents to get home.”
She turns away, plopping back down on the couch with a casual ease that screams confidence. Her cargo pants cling to her muscular thighs as she spreads her legs, leaning back. You can feel her eyes on you, sharp and assessing.
“What are you staring at?” she smirks, her voice low and amused.
You blink, snapping out of it. “Uh, nothing!” you laugh awkwardly, feeling heat creep up your neck. Without thinking, you sink onto the couch beside her, unable to stop yourself from stealing glances at her. Up close, her skin looks impossibly smooth, her features striking in a way that makes your chest tighten.
“Why’ve I never met you before?” you ask, your curiosity slipping out.
“Just moved here,” she replies, her voice husky. Her lips curve into a smirk. “You waiting for me to offer you a drink? From your own house?”
You laugh, relaxing into the cushions. The tension between you is almost tangible, and you’re desperate to break it. But instead of saying something, your body moves on its own.
You lean forward, closing the space between you, and kiss her. It’s clumsy and impulsive, but her hands immediately find your hips, grounding you. She pulls back just enough to laugh softly, her breath brushing against your lips.
“You’re bold,” she murmurs before kissing you again, this time deeper, hungrier.
Abby’s hands trail up your back, her fingers pressing into you just hard enough to make you shiver. She smirks against your lips when she feels you react, her grip shifting to your hips to pull you closer. The kiss deepens, heat pooling in your core as her confidence and control take over.
You shouldn’t be doing this. You know that. But it doesn’t stop you. Her lips are addictive, her scent intoxicating.
When Abby finally pulls away, you’re breathless, your lips tingling. Her gaze locks with yours, her eyes darker now, filled with something that sends a thrill down your spine.
“You’re something else,” she murmurs, her voice low and husky. Her hand brushes a stray strand of hair from your face, lingering against your cheek.
“I could say the same about you,” you reply, your voice softer than you expected.
She laughs lightly, leaning back into the couch, her fingers still resting against your hip. For a moment, the tension between you shifts, softening into something almost comfortable. You study her, the sharp lines of her jaw, the faint freckles across her nose, the way her braid hangs over her shoulder.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Abby asks, tilting her head slightly.
“Like what?” you ask, feeling your face heat up.
“Like you’re trying to figure me out.”
“Maybe I am,” you admit.
Her lips twitch into a smile. “Good luck with that.”
The sound of a car pulling into the driveway breaks the moment. Abby sits up straight, her head turning toward the window. “Shit,” she mutters under her breath.
“Is that my parents?” you ask, panic bubbling up in your chest.
“Yeah, that’s them.” Abby stands quickly, pulling you up with her. “You need to—uh—go upstairs or something. I don’t think they need to walk in on this.”
You grab your bag and rush toward the stairs, your heart pounding in your chest. Just as you reach the top, you glance back at Abby. She’s standing in the living room, adjusting her braid and smoothing out her cargo pants like nothing happened.
“Hey,” she says, her voice just loud enough for you to hear.
“Yeah?”
“This
 isn’t over.” Her smirk returns, and it sends a spark of excitement through you.
You nod, turning away before she can see the blush spreading across your cheeks.
Once upstairs, you tiptoe toward your old room, pushing the door open as quietly as you can. The familiar scent of the space hits you immediately—laundry detergent and the faintest hint of lavender from an old candle on your dresser. You set your bag down, your mind still spinning from everything that just happened.
What were you thinking? What was she thinking? You press your fingers to your lips, still swollen and sensitive from her kisses, and flop onto your bed. Your heart is still racing, and the faint hum of adrenaline lingers in your veins.
Sleep doesn’t come easily, and every time you close your eyes, you see her—her sharp blue eyes, her confident smirk, the way her hands felt on your body. You toss and turn, trying to will yourself into calm, but it’s no use.
The next morning, you wake to the sound of voices downstairs. You blink groggily, rubbing the sleep from your eyes before realizing one of those voices is Abby’s.
You slip out of bed and creep toward the top of the stairs, peeking down into the kitchen. Abby is standing by the counter, talking with your mom. She looks relaxed, a mug of coffee in her hands, her braid draped over one shoulder.
Your mom laughs at something Abby says, and you feel a strange twist in your stomach. Jealousy? Embarrassment? You’re not sure. But when Abby glances up and catches your eye, her lips curve into a slow, knowing smile, and your cheeks heat up instantly.
Your mom is mid-conversation with Abby, her back to you. Abby’s standing by the counter, a mug of coffee in her hands, her posture casual and confident as always.
You pause, suddenly nervous. Would they even be happy to see you? It had been so long since your last visit.
Before you can second-guess yourself, your mom turns around, and her jaw drops.
“Y/N?!” she exclaims, her voice a mix of shock and delight. She freezes for a moment, as if she can’t believe her eyes, before rushing toward you and pulling you into a tight hug. “What are you doing here? When did you get in?”
Your dad, who was flipping pancakes at the stove, turns around with an equally surprised expression. “Is that—Y/N?! Oh my God, kiddo, it’s really you!” He drops the spatula onto the counter and strides over, joining your mom in the embrace.
“I missed you guys,” you say, your voice muffled against your mom’s shoulder.
“We missed you too!” your mom says, pulling back to look at you, tears glistening in her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? We could’ve picked you up!”
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” you explain, smiling sheepishly.
“Well, you succeeded!” your dad laughs, ruffling your hair. “This is the best surprise we’ve had in ages.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Abby watching the scene unfold. She’s leaning against the counter, her arms crossed and a bemused smile on her face.
“Oh, wait, Abby!” your mom says suddenly, turning toward her. “You haven’t met Y/N yet, have you?”
Abby shakes her head, her smirk widening slightly. “Nope.”
Your mom doesn’t seem to pick up on the undercurrent in Abby’s tone. “Well, Y/N, this is Abby. She’s been staying with us for the past few weeks, helping out with everything while your dad and I juggle work. She’s amazing.”
“Yeah, she’s been a lifesaver,” your dad adds, smiling at Abby. “We couldn’t have asked for a better helper.”
Abby shrugs modestly. “Just doing my job,” she says, though the glint in her eyes as she looks at you suggests otherwise.
“Well, Abby, you’ve officially met the whole family now,” your mom says, beaming. “And Y/N, you’re just in time for breakfast. Sit down, we’ll make you a plate!”
You glance at Abby as you take a seat at the table, your cheeks heating up under her gaze. She doesn’t say anything, but the way she looks at you feels like a secret—one your parents are blissfully unaware of.
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bunni-v1 · 2 days ago
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sunday x m reader who wont shut up while hes working so he makes reader cockwarm him to shut him up
Cockwarming With Sunday
🍓Dom Sunday makes my skin crawl. Anyway, I went for a softer take than what you wanted, sorry lol. Even when Sunday tops I can't see him as all that mean, at least, not in the way this was worded lol. Anyway, I'm very well Sunday's biggest hater (I love him more than life itself), so I hope you enjoy this. I want him dead.
Tw: NSFW; Implied power dynamics; Mean(?) Sunday; Grammar Errors; ts kinda ass
Info: Dom!Sunday x M!Reader (it's hard to tell lol); Cockwarming; pre ae sunday; Nsfw
Word Count: 1.5k
Sunday was always considered to be a patient man, especially with those he considered important to him. He had put up with plenty of Robin's silly plans and humored her with delight -- he loved her after all, and any plan she had wasn't truly all that silly so long as it came from her. He even enjoyed her endless conversations when he was meant to be finishing up paperwork. His time with her was sparse, he could afford extra time away from his duties for her. She never kept him for long anyway, understanding his position better than anyone else.
You, however, did not have the excuse of being his darling sister. You spent a significant amount of time with him, both in and out of work, and he had all the time in the world to spend with you. Which meant you knew better than most others how much he needed to fill out this report today. Yet... you kept running those stupidly pretty lips of yours.
He wasn't even sure what you were talking about, he'd tuned you out about ten minutes into your talking. Nearly an hour had passed, and you were still going on and on about something or another -- he catches that it's about an up-and-coming artist you'd seen, not that he cares for any musician that isn't his sister. It wouldn't be so bad if you were just talking, he'd mastered the technique of ignoring things that seemed to get under his skin, but you needed assurance that he was listening.
He would occasionally have to pause and answer questions without much context, or hum in acknowledgement of your words. Your incessant rambling is normally incredibly endearing to him, but with the deadline looming over his head, and the ache stinging between his brows it was enough to make it vexing.
He lets out a sigh, hands pressing the pen to the desk just a bit too harshly. You silence yourself, flinching back a little in surprise. He nearly coos, he hadn't meant to scare you, but you were very cute when frightened. (Perhaps he shouldn't be thinking such things...)
"My love," He hums, meeting your gaze with a calm smile, "you know I love having you around, don't you?"
You nod, nervousness shining in your eyes, giving you away despite the brave front you put on. You were always too easy for him to read, a bit concerning considering the enemies he has, but he'd prefer you pliant than hardened -- at least, in that way.
He gestures to the papers on his desk, "You also know how important it is that I get this done today, yes?"
"Of course," You answer immediately, and he can see the realization of why he was scolding you across your face. So very cute. "Was I talking too much?"
He hums an affectionate smile on his face, and gestures for you to come to his side. You do so with no arguments, as expected. He turns in his chair, grabbing you by your hips to situate you between his legs. You flush a bit at the contact, predictable as always, but he chooses not to comment on it.
"I need to get this done, angel," He asserts again, and you frown shamefully.
"Would you like me to leave?" You offer, but the idea sours something in his chest.
He shakes his head adamantly, "Of course not. I love having you here, but you'll have to behave for me."
There is a spark behind your eyes at his words that makes him ache a bit, his member coming to life much too fast for his liking. The effect seems to be mutual, as far as he can tell from his position near your crotch. His placid smile morphs into a slight smirk, and his eyes meet yours again, "You can behave for me, can't you?"
You nod adamantly, "Of course, s-sir." The title is stuttered, somehow unsure despite your knowing very well what he wanted from you now. It was so adorable how concerned you were with overstepping with him. You truly could do no wrong in his eyes, even when you were getting in the way of his work.
"Then," he pushes you to step back, leaning back in his chair, "Take your pants and underwear off for me. Quickly, I'd like to get this done as soon as possible."
You nod again, doing as he says like a well-trained pet, pretty eyes looking to him for approval as you shove the clothes to the side. He rewards you with a smile, leaning forward to run a finger along the bottom of your hard cock. You hiss at the sensation, drawing a chuckle from his chest.
He eases himself out of his pants as he tugs on your sensitive member a few times, enjoying the little whimpers you give him. His dick springs free, hitting his stomach. He leans back again as it does, telling you what to do with his eyes alone. You follow along like in a trance -- he'd almost believed you were under the influence Harmony, if it weren’t for the fact that he wasn’t using it in the moment.
You hiss lowly as he slides into you. Going raw must've been painful for you, but it felt heavenly for him. Your ass squeezed him so well like it was meant to hold him deep within. He smiles reassuringly at you as you finally sit fully on his lap, taking your chin in his hand to settle a kiss to your lips.
"Very good," He compliments.
You bite your lip, averting your gaze, "Thank you, sir."
He tuts at you, drawing your gaze back just as quickly as it left, "You can sit still and wait like a good boy, can't you? If you can't well..."
"Of course I can!" You respond with a desperation that surprises both of you, quickly adding, "Sir."
"Good, good," he hums, pressing a warm hand against the back of your neck. Your chin rests against his shoulder on instinct, getting comfortable against him. Once he's satisfied with you behaving, he leans forward and starts back to working on the document you'd been distracting him from.
The scratching of his pen is one of the only things keeping you grounded in reality. The stretch of his thick cock in your ass is almost too much for your brain to handle. You shouldn't have been talking so much, honestly, this is no one's fault but your own. Still, the torture of not being allowed to move for fear of worse punishment is enough to make you want to cry.
You sit there pretty on his dick like a good boy, though. Always so obedient for him, if only he didn't have to tell you to behave. No one is perfect, so this was a sacrifice Sunday had to make to keep things as he liked.
His fingers climb up your spine, tingling across your body right to your achingly hard cock. You almost hear Sunday chuckle when it twitches between the two of you, but it's so quiet you believe you might've made it up in your fucked out brain. You wiggle your hips in an attempt to get some friction, but all Sunday has to do is place his hand on it and you cease all movements.
Sunday seems, on the outside, entirely unaffected by everything. For the most part, he really is. He's blasting through his work faster than before, but that was because he couldn't wait much longer to bend you over the papers and reward you for good behavior. Each squeeze around him has him swallowing down groans, determined to not give into your temptations -- no matter how wonderful that sounded.
When he signs the last dotted line and closes the stack of papers back to the front page he lets out a sigh that resembles more of a moan than anything as you clench anticipatorily around him yet again. His pen is set on the desk with a little 'click', and he finally looks at you after agonizing minutes of your squirming. Lust has clouded over his gaze, and he looks positively angelic nearly lost to his own sin.
You are no better, pleading with your eyes for him to fuck you like the sweet thing you were. Tears pricked at the corners of your lashes, a picture of absolute beauty. He smiles at you, wiping them away from your cheeks as they spill over.
"You were very good, my sweet angel," He hums, moving his hands to your hips, "you deserve a reward for behaving, don't you?"
You nod adamantly, your heart picking up in excitement. He raises an eyebrow expectantly at you, and you know what you're meant to do next without the need for words. Standing from his lap, hissing as he leaves your tight hole, and bending over his desk like the good pet you were.
"Very good..." He hums, and your spine tingles in excitement as you hear his pants and belt hit the floor around his feet.
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lightlycareless · 1 day ago
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I was thinking about your last few asks that mentioned Maki and Mai(How Naoya isn’t that close with them and how they always get Y/N to get stuff for them). I was thinking what if there was a time where Y/N was like ‘I want to go to Disneyland’ or something and Naoya Ofc is like ‘Anything for my queen’ only to realize that Y/N was setting it up as trip for Mai and Maki to attend as well(How she convinced Junko to let them go Idk 💀 the only way I could see it happening is if it was like a bday present for them and Junko was feeling a little bad for them considering most of the clan wouldn’t even acknowledge the day for them). I can imagine Naoya going along with it since he already agreed to do this for Y/N but just kinda stewing in his feelings about how his date with Y/N turned into babysitting his cousins at a theme park. I can see him maybe loosening up a little seeing how happy Y/N is to do this for them(depending on when this takes place, maybe it makes Naoya think about how Y/N would be with their own children in the future, although Y/N and the twins I believe was mentioned to have a more older sister younger sisters vibe but let me dream for a moment lol).
This also kinda gives me the idea of what it would be like if Naoya and Y/N had to babysit a kid for like a day or so and gives them a glimpse of what having a child together would be like before they’ve had kids. Idk who that random kid would be tho lol. Maybe even HS au where Y/N and Naoya get paired to take care of one of those fake babies XD
Sorry I got off on a tangent, I’m obsessed and Naoya and Y/N so I think about a lot of situations they can get into. You don’t have to write any of they don’t strike your fancy Ofc but I still wanted to share. Sorry for rambling >.<
Hello!!
How y'all manage to hit the nail on the head with certain scenarios has me baffled, and so happy hahahaha I'm so in love with this idea; just anything Disney makes me all giddy inside, I really do love imagining scenarios where Y/N is going to the park with Naoya as a couple, or when they go with their kids and such... just those little things with their family đŸ„ș ajhgajghjas ugh, it warms my heart.
The taking care of a kid together reminds me of those typical school assignments where you have to take care of an egg???? Or maybe that was just me, but I'm sure you know what I mean XD so imma write something of the topic set on a hs au :)
For now, let's enjoy Naoya's plans being foiled when he takes you to Disney... but you decide to bring along Mai and Maki lol.
warnings: fluff. it says tokyo disneyland but it's based on my experience which is the california park :') i'm sorry. naoya get's all sensitive at the thought of you.
Happy reading!!
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Naoya was all too aware of one of your biggest dreams, it’s been so for as long as he can remember, as well as the reason behind all his recent efforts: to take you to Disneyland on your birthday.
He wants to take you to all of them eventually, of course; in due time there will not be a park that you hadn’t enjoyed—however, before he takes it to the next level, he rightfully assumed Tokyo was a nice spot to start.
“Y/N, are you going to do anything for your birthday?” Naoya asks, as smoothly as he could—attempting to hide the excitement this whole ordeal brought him. It’s essentially a date!
“Hmmm, I don’t know. I’ll probably just go out to eat, why?”
“Clear up your schedule, we’re going to Disneyland.”
“Oh my God, are you being serious right now?!” you gasp, his heart skipping a bit at the way your eyes twinkled, it’s just the kind of admiration that makes his ego grow bigger—more so if it comes from you. “Naoya, that is—thank you so much!”
However, his satisfaction wouldn’t last long the moment you prompted the question of being allowed to bring someone else. At first, he thought it would be one of your pestering friends, which he was okay with to some degree, it was your birthday after all and there was nothing else that he wanted more than to make you happy

But when he learned you planned to invite his cousins, all he could think was “really?”
Of all people
 his annoying 8-year-old cousins.
“Are you excited to go to Disney for the first time in your lives?!” You tried to hype Mai and Maki along as Naoya dejectedly drove towards the destination, keeping himself entertained with a much different scenario in his mind. Anything to ignore his current predicament.
“Yes!” They cried back with a wide smile on their faces, as expected.
“What is Disneyland like?” Maki asks. “What is there??”
“It’s better if I don’t spoil you, just wait and see!”
Though there isn’t much spoiling left to be done, Naoya considers, given how his date with you is effectively overridden by their presence, demanding that your attention be solely placed on him—the only consideration he seems to be given is when being asked how many were in your party, and sitting arrangements once in the rides.
It made his efforts undeniably futile, and was very near to giving up entirely whatever he had planned for the day

Until a certain sight proves him wrong.
Naoya couldn’t care less about his irritating cousins, and while not justified, they hadn’t been the easiest to get along with either —there’s not a moment they don’t take to mock him, surely at one point that ought to irritate anyone— however, to see you fret about their safety, their appearance as you thread back locks of their hair back in place, even wonder what they’d like to eat as while gently holding onto their hands as the two walked across the park

Something about it makes his heart warm up; must be the comparison to your surroundings, how it made you blend in with the other families and make it seem as if they were your kids.
His children.
He becomes a bit more willing after that just to entertain that sweet thought a bit longer, obliging to buy all the things you wanted, even if they were to end on Mai and Maki’s hands at the end. In fact, Naoya’s energy was redirected in keeping you and his cousins rightfully satisfied, when he once scowled at the faintest semblance of a request from their part, he was now suggesting experiences the three might find enjoyable.
“If we go now, we might be able to find good spots.” Naoya says in reference to the upcoming parade. “Or I can go ahead while you look around or go on another ride.”
“Are you sure, Naoya? I wouldn’t like you to feel left out
” you murmur.
“It’s fine, prin— Y/N.” he coughs, the twins raise an eyebrow. “Go have fun.”
“Why are you being so nice out of the sudden, Naoya??” Maki, unable to hide her
 confusion, points out, making Naoya fluster.
“Because it’s her birthday!” he frowns. “Which should be enough reason for the two of you to behave as well, instead of being the spoiled brats you usually are!”
“Naoya!” you gasp.
“
I mean—just—let’s just have fun.” Naoya spluttered, making you and the twin’s chuckle.
Which is how the rest of the evening proceeded, with samples of all the food both found appetizing, alongside purchases of things that were to undoubtedly preserve this moment for years to come, and of course, pictures, lots of them, with you, Mai and Maki, in every iconic landscape with those equally memorable Mickey ears that Naoya found quite adorable on you; because it represented your happiness.
A job well done on his part, just what he wanted for you on your special day.
And once everything was done, the girls tired and you satisfied, it was finally time to go back home. Naoya helped you carry the only one of the twins that was too exhausted to make the way back to the car, while you held the other by the hand—a lovely sight he didn’t know he wanted to partake in until now
 imagining them instead as both little girls that looked just like you; daughters that would take after your loving demeanor.
Your enjoyment of sweets, of places like these that he’d turn into some kind of yearly family holiday just to see them happy. Already hearing their adorable pleas, demanding their papa take them to greet their favorite character—a princess perhaps, though they were the only princesses he could discern—or try out one of the many snacks.
“Now, now darlings; don’t overwhelm your papa.” You’d caution, gently taking the hand of your youngest before heading to him, offering him a bite of the churros you just bought for them, and him gladly taking it. “Is it good? Do you like it?”
“It’s
 different.” He says. “I don’t mind the texture.”
 “I’m glad—oh! Wait.” You then proceed to wipe the leftovers in the corner of his mouth, a moment that leads the two to stare at each other for a few seconds, a smile parting both of their lips as they realize how blessed they were to be here, with your daughters. Together.
Happy.
In love.


When the time is right.
Only with you.
“Do you need anything else? Food, medicine? Are you feeling alright?”
“It’s ok, Naoya, just tired. You don’t need to do anything else
 what you’ve done is more than enough.” You say, looking back at the twins to find them soundly asleep; they were knocked out the moment they arrived at your shared hotel room—certainly, today had been a long day for everyone. “It was fun.”
“I’m glad.” He responds, feeling the tiniest sting of disappointment, perhaps expecting you’d be willing to do something else with him before the night ends, a moment of privacy between the two

But he soon learns that you weren’t far off from his desires, given how you carefully placed your hand over his chest and leaned upwards to place a kiss on his cheek, your gesture flaring Naoya’s cheeks immediately after, more so at the following.
“Maybe next time
 it could just be the two of us.” You murmur. “I’d like it to be just the two of us.”
“I can—I can arrange that.” Naoya breathes, nodding.
“It’s a date, then.” You smile. “Goodnight, Naoya. See you tomorrow for breakfast.”
“Goodnight, princess.” He smirks, the nickname he’s been holding off to say finally making its way past his lips and making you blush; quickly turning around out of embarrassment, ready to head back to bed
 before decidedly returning to him and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Now it’s his moment to turn bright red. “Y/N—”
“Just something to look forward to.” You murmur. “If
  it’s not too much.”
“No, it’s not. Actually, it’s
 perfect.” As always.
Naoya could wait a bit thinking about a family.
For now, he just wants to love you.
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It can be somewhat read like Naoya and Y/N aren't officially dating quite yet.............................................. or maybe you're just shy because Mai and Maki are there and they're like 1000000% little devils when it comes to teasing you about your BOYFRIEND with coincidentally is the dork of a cousin they have. Aw đŸ„č
Also, the whole thing did make me wonder how Junko would even allow this to happen.............. you must've sworn to do something crazy lol. "Fine, I'll marry Naoya if you let me take the girls to Disney." type of thing, when outside of the crazy canon and Naoya is a bit calmer, Junko always struck me as the type to look out for him one way or the other more than his own uncle!!! (she fears you'll hurt him lol)
Anyways, it was a treat writing this and now I want to write little Naomi going on an amusement park with her parents... which will happen but not on Disney, we all know she a puroland fan 😏
Thank you so much ❀ Now, take care and hope to see you soon!!
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palajae · 6 months ago
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hi :3! not sure if you've ever gotten this type of ask before but, how do you make your long fics well ... long? i've been trying to get myself to write more full length fics but i can never seem to make good enough scenes that aren't too short if that makes sense 😭 if you could give me some tips on how to make scenes longer and make fics more interesting i would greatly appreciate it! :))
aaaa i never get this type of ask so im excited- ofc i’m super happy to answer!!
hmmm for me specifically, i like to think of the purpose behind each scene (i.e. characters meeting for the first time, establishing a conflict of the mc) because that’s how a story is made and how the plot moves along right?
then i use the setting and characters in the scene to incorporate the plot leading up to the true “purpose” of the scene + after the purpose is fulfilled AKA—transitions. that way, the scene is not super short and straight to the point (if that makes sense?)
here’s an example bc idk if i made any sense at all lol: let’s say the purpose of your first scene is to get the mcs to meet at a cafe. well, based off what i’ve watched and read, i could write ab how the characters get ready to go there/why they wanted to go to the cafe in the first place/even just their thoughts going to the desired location. that adds more lines or dialogue immediately. then after the two mcs meet, you can lengthen more by adding their reactions or thoughts after their meeting!
and for making things interesting, as long as you stay true to the story and characters actions/personalities while keeping the plot flowing smoothly—you don’t have to worry about it being interesting—it naturally will be! i feel readers mainly stop reading if the story doesn’t make sense anymore (the actions of the characters suddenly don’t align with their original values and the plot is just moving on with no purpose).? honestly it’s hard for me too to know what people find interesting these days lol.
another thing that can help make scenes longer is maybe reading other people’s works/watching movies or dramas to get inspiration ykwim? especially like kdramas that are made up of many parts, i think they’re good examples of longer scenes that fulfill their duty to the plot while still keeping it entertaining for the reader!
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hotdogmchiggin · 4 days ago
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Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏
Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)
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Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍
The REAL reason this is late
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sporeclan · 6 months ago
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< Previous | First | Next >
Oh yay a new queen with kits let me just check out her informatioFOURTEEN MOONS?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
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ciderjacks · 3 months ago
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The JD vs Amber Heard stuff was actually insane. I didn't keep up with it because I disagreed with the sheer principle of publicizing something like *that* but the misogyny was MASK OFF...
NO LIKE FRL IT WAS SO INSANE
#ask tag#Tbh like#The thing is i’d already known and been misinformed about the case for a long time prior so I started off thinking depp was innocent#And then I remember when I realized he was very much not partially Bc of the hate I was seeing towards Amber Heard#Like the exposed texts of him saying extremely sexist violent stuff about her and everyone just dismissing that#It became clear that I was wrong from the get-go like that he actually was horrible and I assumed everyone else would realize that too#but then the more ppl dismissed or mocked the real indisputable evidence she brought up#The more I saw that ppl didn’t actually care#They were just excited to be evil and dismissive towards a woman#Lmao sometime after that I stopped giving a fuck about “male mental health” bc clearly they’re not being as shunned as they pretend they r#Sorry is that controversial#I’m just saying if u reversed the genders that trial would’ve played out way differently#The concept of male victims and men with poor mental needing extra attention and care bc theyre sooo marginalized bc they’re men#And they dont get respect and support like those selfish abused women#Should’ve died after this case#Bc whenever there are male victims they get all the support and attention from everyone#Female victims get This#Like dont get me wrong there’s stigma#But the stigma for male victims is “lol you’re like a woman now that’s funny” “lol so r u gay”#The stigma for female victims is “you evil bitch how could you ruin his life you deserved worse you bitch”
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daz4i · 1 year ago
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society đŸ€Ą and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them#if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person#you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect#and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops#i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck#seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate#if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted#if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use#'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way#a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels#so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process#you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them#but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you#anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol#(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah đŸ–€)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really#i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.
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ilkkawhat · 4 months ago
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I don't know about you, but it is really hard picturing myself getting into a romantic relationship at the moment when it is not considered normal to talk for 9 hours straight about a horror game 😞. Also, how am I supposed to explain the fact that 95 % of the 500 + pictures on my phone are of some Finnish man
exactly! sometimes i have the legit fear that my SO would like see one of my fav obsessions and be like "yah that's trash" but lol they better be ready for those long ass dissertations about horror games and a certain finnish man if they wanna date me for the foreseeable future 😂
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago
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I don't care when people don't include me in stuff, I'm used to it but-----
my own family going on a trip w/o even asking me kinda felt
shit đŸ« 
#like i understand cuz they gave up on trying to talk to me butttttttt#why the fuck am i the villain in the story even like this 😭#its okay if u dont give a fuck abt me. but at least dont make me feel like i deserve it lol#like yes sorry but i have a reason for lowkey disliking all of you#and i know damn well all of you know why#yet they always say that it makes no sense i behave this way#behave this way means keeping my healthy distance and trying to move out asap#i dont spread hate and im not an asshole with them???#but me not acting all lovey dovey is a problem too#yes idk i always think i should cherish that they are still alive and i could better my relationship with them but#What to do when you can see your own dad literally hating you#like when he talks to me he always does so in a cynical and angry way#man im sorry i was born and shit its kind of your fault for not using a condom :/#lol okay i think imma delete this later but yes#yes i hate it that the only people i feel loved by are de*d ffsssssssssssssss#like all is well lately but i wish! love wouldn't only exist in my head man! im happy this way but when i realize the situation its kind of#pathetic and idk until how long#can i keep on staying sane like this lol#im kind of already insane if we think abt it but how long will it take me to lose my marbles completely 😭#yes this crisis was spiraled by just me not being included in a trip i wouldnt have gone to regardless if they asked me#but yes like. Idk they could have just told me at least😭 i called my sis in the morning and she responded like 10 hours later that they are#w dad and a womannn doing some funsies eating pancakes n shit đŸ‘»đŸ‘»#i hate pancakes and i hate myself but đŸ‘»#im jealous of you guys frrrrr🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ for being so normal n happy 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛
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orcelito · 6 months ago
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Having a Saturday like "most people I've dated have only really liked me for my body and/or a fake personality I've presented, so when they know the true me it's not enough to keep them around. Anyways let's have some ramen for my 2 pm breakfast."
#speculation nation#negative/#mayhaps. i am not feeling too great this morning.#this came from me thinkin about my recent ex again and how she said she never actually loved me#(im sick of thinking about it. but i think im gonna be thinking about that for a long long time.)#but i thought about how excited she'd get about my looks n body and i just thought to myself like#'maybe she didnt love me but at least That couldnt have been faked.'#n then i just paused like '...Geeze.' at how depressing a thought it was lmfao#like sorry my personality is ass and my hot bod's the only good thing about me (relationship-wise)#xoxoxo cant help bein a hot mess i guess !#... i dont know if she even realizes the blow she dealt to me by saying that.#i Told her i had trust issues and felt unlovable. i Told her this.#and yet she tells me that she never actually loved me and every time she said it was a 'mistake'. a MISTAKE.#she didnt need to say that. she literally didnt need to say that. even if it was true there are just some things that dont need said.#in the end. she's not the first person who's dealt this kind of blow to me. and she might not be the last.#i'll keep going. i'll keep trying. i know im not actually unlovable. there's gotta be Someone who likes me for more than just my body#who is also a good fit for me. they Gotta exist out there. somewhere.#and for now. i continue on with full confidence in my attractiveness but Zero confidence in my personality.#might try a nice n slow romance next. make them actually work for it b4 they get to sleep with me.#make it a reward or smth. or rather. make sure theyre not here for Just that lol.#sure would be nice if i had someone interested in me for more than just my body. we'll see if i can find that lol.
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bmpmp3 · 6 months ago
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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yume-no-miya · 4 months ago
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look i love making sae be the one who's so in love and showering hajun with so much love and affection but it's much more fun to think that HE fell harder than her
#it's the she fell first he fell harder thing. gooodd hjs have such common dynamic the frustrating and infuriating type#like look at first she have a crush on him right but as a model. that girl is literally a moth she gets attracted by those with light#though at first she admires him as a model and knew him through toma- her kamioshi. though i think... she just starts admiring him a lot?#she literally went through a 'highschool crush' phase but late since she was like. at college 😭#observed him... wow he's a lot similar to her than she thought. that guy puts up a smile in front of strangers and keep people at a distanc#he looked... strangely alone. why? even though he have friends too. she saw herself in hajun and... didnt want to be like him#will she keep putting up a face too? will she keep lying to herself? and would that make her alone in the end as well? she didnt want that.#so shes like yknow what? let's be shameless. her friends had been so loving of her unconditionally.#she thought that they'll leave after highschool and yet... and yet they stayed. they keep approaching her.#and come to think of it... they're always the ones giving effort for her right? when it comes to planning for hang outs-#they're always the one to reach out. never her. shouldnt she return the favor then? love them as much as they love her#pour all her heart out. she used to do it- she can do it again. love people unconditionally without expecting anything from them.#surely this time it'd be different. surely it wont drain her. even if there's a chance they'll leave her- it doesnt matter now.#she knows she gave her everything and that's enough for her. maybe she'll feel better if she had realized this when she was a child...#but that's okay now! so for now! lesson learned: dont be hajun#but also sae. just have a different view of hajun in her head 😭??? like she admits she didnt really know hajun before but actually meeting#him must be so complicated for her lol like this guy used to be her crush! and she got to talk to him but holy shit he's lowkey an asshole😭#not even lowkey but he really is a bitch lmfaaooo so like. damn 'i forgot i used to have a crush on this guy like i used to like him???'#'in what way??? (his looks dont even deny it sweetie)' i think her crush on him in the past made her more snappy towards him now lmfao#like 'gooooddd i used to have a crush on THIS GUY??? that's making me piiisseedd' LMAAAOOO 😭😭#i genuinely have NOOOOO idea how they started having this dynamic but it's just. them lowkey insulting each other? not really INSULT insult#but rather bickering masked by politeness? like 💱^^) (^^💱 selfish ohime-sama vs black hearted prince#but the one who's usually losing here would be sae ngl and hajun's mostly the one being playful tho tbf they CAN calmly talk to each other#sometimes they just become competitive? sae herself is a competitive one at first it would be 'oho~ let's see how long he can keep this up~#to 'give up already!!!! my social battery isn't gonna last long!!!!!!!!' and hajun's just watching her lose it every time 😭😭#ah.... my absolutely pathetic daughter im so sorry..... when it comes to him she gets unreasonably annoyed. just who does he think he is?#and yet she can't even feel arrogant around him. she knows bae are on a different league than her. that's why despite being very friendly a#expressing her admiration towards them she still puts up a barrier around them? it's not that deep she have her own close friends#yumeshipping — hajusae [prri]
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dapperrokyuu · 7 months ago
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What's your superpower?
I was tagged by @sssusuki! Thank you so much~!
When I got to the bear part, I thought I experienced my first game over in a personality quiz, lol. I think my result is pretty accurate, except Im not interested in matchmaking, lol. And that Im maybe a bit more serious and logical, but I think it spins around to being passionate about enjoying the moment. Happiness is everything and it can indeed be found in everything...! "Too-much-to-do" is a deep cut, lol, thats real.
The tagline ends with me!!! But if anyone is interested in doing this, youre free to say I tagged you as an excuse, lol. Have fun~!
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago
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re: my last post rambling about my siblings: i also realize of course that not everyone who has siblings has as good a relationship to them as i do, and that can be for any number of reasons, can have any number of resolutions, including just begrudgingly accepting that your sibling(s) are never gonna be the closest people in your life. i talked about how the bond i have with mine is akin to a commitment, because all of us prioritize each other, but i don't mean to make it sound idyllic or like it should be the universal standard. i am lucky but i am not naive. not everyone gets the siblings they would most wish to have, or some people just aren't that close to them and i don't particularly have a blanket judgment to make of that in all cases. however...
that guy i made a bunch of personal posts over the summer about because he was an emotionally abusive friend that i had to cut off, who asserted way too much control over my life, who was guilt-tripping and manipulative and sought to silence me etc etc etc he really was just never very accepting of me for who i was, never expressed interest in anything about me that didn't have to do with him, etc etc etc just that JERK guy who i still have nightmares about a few times a month. it took me a long time to accept that he wasn't just "depressed" and "anxious" but that he was actively using people; he wasn't accepting of harmony but always wanted control over others and their narratives, etc etc etc. there were certain sides of him i didn't see much because i got to know him in a rather isolated way. we had mutual contacts but i never worked with him or had a class with him or really even met him a few times before he started spilling his heart and soul to me privately and said i'm his best friend and i'm the only one who understands and supports him and basically pressured me to make him my project 24/7 and was incredibly disrespectful towards me whenever i asserted my own independence from him or just. wanted to see someone other than him or even just wanted to be by MYSELF. jesus. what a nightmare that guy was. IS, because i know he can't have changed and he probably never will.
THAT guy has a sibling. he has a little brother four years younger than him, and that guy was about two years younger than me. so his brother turned 18 this year. he graduated from high school. his brother is YOUNG, all things considered. and as much as he would constantly pour his heart out and gripe about every person he ever came into contact with (and as much as i now distrust a lot of the information he told me because i know he'll only ever say flattering things about himself and never speak forgivingly or with any nuance towards someone he labels now as "bad", including me)... the only time that i didn't really know how to listen with as open a heart was when he would start talking about how awful his little brother is. i'd be like, ok, so you had terrible friends in high school. all the people in your classes are shitty to you. this person has done you wrong and this person is awful and your parents and your family suck and this and that and this. no one has ever been good to you in your entire life except me? ok.
the ONLY time i was like "i don't know if i can take this at face value, i think you're being too harsh..." is when he would talk about his little brother. because i was like, well, from everything you're telling me, his problems sound like something he can very well grow out of. he'd be like oh he's PRETENTIOUS. lol ok. he's a senior in high school, of course he sometimes acts like he knows everything. why do you act like he's a lost cause? i could also tell that there must've been some personal jealousy in there bc his brother was kind of the "more accomplished" sibling, did better in school, that sort of thing. i don't know what it's like to be an older sibling or to feel like you're living in the shadow of a sibling, especially a younger one, because i've always kind of been on a different path than any of my siblings/there hasn't really been a sense of competition between us. i would try to give him the benefit of the doubt and be like "well i guess i really don't know what that's like" because you CAN'T assume. i give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt and i try to take people, especially when they're being vulnerable with me, at their word, which is exactly how i got so involved with this guy and ended up being so used by him and under his thumb. horrible. he's a monster. anyway.
and whenever i'd be like "well he's just a kid" to every negative thing he'd say about his little brother, that's when he'd dismiss the subject and stop talking about it. and this isn't something that came up a couple of times but came up a LOT. he'd shit talk his brother to me at least several times a week, always unprompted, because why would i wanna hear someone badmouth a teenager? and it'd always be the pettiest shit. one time he even told me that he noticed his brother didn't come home last night and he didn't know where he was and i was like "oh my god is he ok? that's terrifying" and it's like he did that just so he could tell me "no i don't really care honestly. the two of us aren't close." it's like he wasn't just not-close with this kid but he was obsessed with hating him.
not only did his reasons never seem to satisfy me, but he never seemed to acknowledge that his little brother shared all of the traumas and adverse experiences he grew up with, the discrimination he faced and the familial trauma and the structures of abuse he would tell me about from his parents. he would mention how these are all the problems and the reasons he can't trust people and why he's so fucked up but he didn't seem to have any patience or empathy for someone younger than him brought up in the same exact environment. it's like he wanted his brother to always just fuck off and die.
none of this made any sense to me, it was if anything the BIGGEST sense of confusion i had with him for a long time because i dismissed all the ways he was cruel to *just me* until i started picking up all his patterns and realizing this all WASN'T just how he treats me. HE is the problem; HE is this entitled and controlling and nasty and manipulative towards everyone; HE has no self-awareness or regard for other people. it's not just ME not having the guts to stand up for myself when he made me feel uncomfortable or when i'd feel disrespected by something he said to/about me. he would know when he was saying something unacceptable or losing his temper; he did it with other people all the time. but he isolated and then lovebombed me so hard that i didn't see that this WAS how he treated everyone, but he made me in particular his prey because i was a trusting and trustworthy stranger, rather than someone who had seen him behave in such a way towards other people and could make the informed choice to stay away from him. it was never JUST ME but how could i have known that?? how?? i didnt know anything about his life except what he'd tell me, and he was actively sucking me away from all parts of my life he wasn't involved in, and/or forcing his way into them. there was no space between him and me; my life became his because he hijacked it and then forced me to do all his emotional labor and solve all his problems so i'd hardly have any energy to face my own.
anyway. yeah. it all made MUCH more sense when i realized HE is the problem between him and his brother. that didn't stick out as a red flag because again i'm trusting and i accept all these hypothetically broken or damaged familial relationships people have. HE really wanted me to hate this teenager for no good reason, like he wanted me to hate everyone else in his life that he'd ever decide to cast as a villain. i never understood why the teenage boy. never understood it. i'm like he's just a boy. OH but you're an awful horrible jerk who can't get along with anyone for longer than 2 minutes before you try and take control of everything about them and then lash out if they try to assert their independence. OOOHHH ok i get it now that makes sense. because that's what you've been doing to me all this time ohhh i get it.
#wow this is such a long post lol#long post#tales from diana#im not proofreading this so if this makes no sense well whatever#sorry if you... missed my... constant crises about this situation over the summer?#i do still have nightmares about him lol#i have otherwise been moving on... pretty ok#you know it's just such a relief to not talk to him anymore ever. love that#i have him blocked too đŸ–€đŸ–€đŸ–€#and he isn't a school/work acquaintance and we don't live suuuper close where i'd worry about seeing him in public randomly#i have had some friends that i explained our falling out to that have randomly ran into him. and he glared at them. lol#he really tried to involve all my friends in the messiest ways after he realized he was losing his control over me.#he was acting so entitled and imposing and overly-familiar and spilling all his 'problems' hes having with me#to ppl that i had introduced him to a couple of times and he would never be emotionally close with#but now he wants to pour his heart out about how he's been victimized by my callousness towards him (read: my individual identity/needs)#like what a fucking trainwreck that was.#in fact i encouraged him to be vulnerable with some of these friends like he was ALWAYS being vulnerable to me#making me support him 24/7 and literally never giving me time to do or think about anything else#never reciprocating interest or concern when it comes to my own life in any way. even if he KNEW about problems i had going on#just no sympathy from him whatsoever. he was just a sympathy vampire. he took and took and took and never gave back.#like i said he's the most self-centered person i've ever met.#yeah. i need to drop this now#but i do feel bad for his little brother. bc everything i ever felt sympathy for him for also applies to his brother#but his BROTHER has never shown any signs to me of being nearly as disgusting as he is.#he's brother's just a kid. but imagine having such a nightmare of a brother for the rest of your life. im sorry to him
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