#sorry i don’t post as often these days
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new character that’s been taking up my brain lately!! thinking about mave a lot…
— my dnd oc, maverick “mave” (they/she/xe)
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#i refrain from talking abt them more but i give u guys an art crumb here :>#dungeons and dragons#dnd#d&d#dungeons & dragons#original art#dnd oc#dnd character#dnd art#sorry i don’t post as often these days#getting used to drawing ocs / original art and just sharing them amongst my friends and dnd group#i got like 3 other dnd characters i’ve drawn up in the past few months but haven’t rlly shared them publicly#aughjskdh#casu art#casu ocs#maverick#my shtuff
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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Ok so I’ve combed through the CIA documents like twice already and like… Guys, the gateway tapes *can* help u shift BUT they don’t *shift* you *for you*. This is why they’re called gateways - the focus levels are states you can enter and then shift from via your own efforts
#sorry my posts on this aren’t aesthetic I rly don’t care#robert monroe#gateway tapes#reality shifting#law of assumption#astral projection#if the gateway tapes aren’t your cup of 🍵 then move along#hell they barely did it for me until I realized this#once u learn to enter the focus levels independent of the tapes then u can freestyle/go with your own flow#the most important focus levels are F10 - F12 - F15 - F18 - F21#focus 15 from my personal experience is perfect for yeeting yourself into the void state#also if the thought of the tapes intimidates you just listen casually while you’re doing something else#these are actually much shorter and much simpler than most of the guided meditations like Alunir for example#unsurprisingly all the focus level numbers are also some of my Angel numbers#like every single day for nearly a year now I usually catch the clock on like#10:10 or 11:10 or 12:12 or 2:15 or 3:10 and 6:21 and#I don’t think it’s a coincidence it happens too often and too ‘perfectly’???#oh well I hope this post helped *someone* I’m out ✌️
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vent below. it’s mostly just feeling stuff. I’ll delete it later.
it’s kind of funny how depressed I get when I can’t make something perfect.
and even if I make it to the best of my ability, I don’t really think it matters much. this is what I get for burning myself out. I keep trying to do things and not being able to do them because they’re outside my skill level.
it’s a loop. I want to be good -> I practice -> I think I’m ready to try something bigger -> I get burned out -> I think I won’t ever be able to be good -> I feel forgotten -> I think that nobody really cares about my arts -> I know people care about my art but I want to be better -> repeat.
I don’t understand what im doing wrong. i feel like ill end up hated. I’ve been told im very forgettable, and it’s true. one thing i do is forgotten in the long run. everything. I don’t really leave any impact.
that’s all. I hope you didn’t read this, I don’t need anyone concerned about me.
#vent#i don’t know if this can be interpreted as suicidal ideation but if it is then understand that’s not what’s happening#I just don’t feel like myself#I don’t feel right#I don’t feel useful#I often wonder what I should do with myself if im useless#so I try to be as kind as I can#and give as many gifts as I can to brighten peoples days#I just wish people would give me a chance#I wish people would stop replacing me and understand me better#lmao I sound like a pick me#Sorry for the rant in the tags#im sorry for everyone who follows me and has to deal with these random mood swings#post later#I don’t know#sorry
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Having Oliver Queen be the one to comfort other characters when in situations because he hardly ever got any in his five years and he wants to make sure no one else has to feel that way
#this was very poorly worded#sorry#I’ve done this from day 1#maybe this is wildly out of character but it’s ingrained in my writing DNA at this point#also he generally just has the most experience out of everyone so he knows how to help#really need to rewatch Arrow though#feels like his characterization is slipping through my fingers rn#luckily I don’t write him very often so a full binge can wait#my posts#side fics#oliver queen#am I perhaps projecting my ‘older sibling-ness’ onto him? perhaps#but he is also an older sibling#so it’s valid#free therapy#arrowverse#arrowverse fanfiction#also unrelated but I need to challenge myself to write a whump fic without Barry as the one getting hurt
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it’s weird how much lighter my life feels now. not that i don’t have any issues (because there are many in my life, as i am sure there are in yours), but they’re just so much more manageable than they were a year ago.
what’s more; i love myself now. i may not be perfect. but i am trying my best, and i can tell that i am! i see myself in the mirror, and sometimes i just examine myself, and my features, and i smile. i feel so much more authentic when talking to people, not worrying about how they view me, because i don’t have to anymore. i wish i could’ve told 15-year old me just how good it’s gotten so far, i know that he would’ve loved hearing about the shitty sideburns we’re growing out right now :’)
#it gets better :)#i used to think that transitioning medically wouldn’t lessen the sadness and depression i felt#and to some degree it is still there since t isn’t a cure all#but by the gods it is so much fucking easier to deal with everything#when a major reason for my mental health being the way it was has been abated#it’s like the fog cleared enough for me to actually see the road i’m driving on#instead of assuming blindly that i won’t crash#once i get top surgery.#idk. i wonder if things will be even easier?#i’m almost a year in and already my life feels so much brighter. yeah there’s problems with keeping the house. and yeah#i don’t have an income yet and i don’t know if the internship will even be in the cards for me#but. i just feel that everything will work out. enough for me to enjoy the time i have here :)#sorry i am being sappy but god! i love and i love! so much now!! i feel so much and i enjoy nearly every day despite the Issues#the world is getting worse but still i find reasons to love and live#so maybe one day it will get better? maybe one day my love will have helped even#if you’re reading. i love you. even if you’re just a follower#even if we’re mutuals that haven’t talked before#i think about you often. i wonder where my oldest mutual went after they stopped posting years ago#i don’t think i can forget. and i love you. and i wish i. could give you a hug. we all need one from time to time#i love the friends i’ve made and the friends i’ve had. i love. and this past year has opened up my floodgates of emotion
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🙄🙄🙄
#bro idk what else to do lmao#sorry for not posting 1749 gifsets a day sorry for not having energy sorry for having a job that’s incredibly demanding and taxing#like i went from one gif series that was 8 months long to this current gif series that’s 18 months long#and it’s just fruitless lmao i’m never part of any community ever#i’m sorry i don’t reach out as much i’m so so so tired all the time#i have 2 days off a week and they’re spent sleeping#idk what to do i don’t Owe anyone my time that’s such a huge thing for me#but also like how the fuck am i This invisible#it’s always look at all these amazing people. and emmeline is here too i guess idk i forgot#i work so hard to make content of people i love and enjoy#esp for a member that often doesn’t Get the same amount of content made#and it’s just feels like Shit to get constantly overlooked#bc of idk i’m#sorry if i did something to make anyone upset i just try to stay in my lane#but it hurts so badly to always be excluded#like So fucking badly#when i work so hard and have been working so hard#idk i’ll just never fit in i guess#tbd
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it always sends a little shock thru me when i find fic writers who write for fem readers but say they won’t write for fem reader x fem character for one reason or another i cant tell if it bothers me or makes me giggle
#nora??? ramble posting??? IN THIS ECONOMY???#this doesn’t actually happen nowadays but i remmeber in my 2015 quotev days this was so common#and it confused me back then BEFORE I WAS EVEN OUT AS QUEER#baby me didn’t know i was a lesbian but i KNEW i was a lesbian u get what i mean#i feel like people who say this often are like ‘i just don’t know how to represent that kind of relationship’#which IRKS ME IM SO SORRY it bothers me because it’s like#we’re … not that different! this is fanfiction!#nobody is expecting you to represent the woes and whims of a sapphic relationship#we read fics for fun most of the time#you do not need to have personal experiences in homophobia to write a fem reader x fem character drabble on tumblr#i don’t thjnk that like…ANYONE expects that out of a fic writer…#okay guys ramble OVER#all i do on this blog is write fics and talk about being queer#two best pastimes i fear#also omg i’ve gotten requests in my inbox and i swear i’m getting to them they’re so good im so excited to start working on them#i’ve been busy with so so much work but i SWEAR I WILL GET TO EVERYTHING SOON#nora speaks
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MY LOVE STORY BUT GONKI
MY LOVE STORY BUT GONKI
MY LOVE STORY BUT GONKI
😤
#personal#I HAVE MENTIONED IT BEFORE AHHHH#I NEED TO FIND THAT POST I AM SUCH A GENUIS HEHEHE#BUT IT LIVES RENT FREEEEE IN MY MINDDDDDDD#JUST BIG AF GON BUT HES NICE AND KIND AND GENTLE TO SMOL LITTLE KI AHHHHHHHHH#AND YOU ALREADY KNOW I LOVE KI BAKING WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#THE NUMBER ONE ANIME TO LIVE RENT FREE IN MY HEAD AND BE LIKE GONKI#IS MY GONKI#Second is a/ot#I don’t watch animeeeee that often but sometimes a girl#does#SEEE I NEED PEOPLE TO LOOOOOK AT A/OT#and see HOW GONKI IT IS#and I need kg people to look at it with their eyes too#THAT YES Mi/kasa is stronger but at the end of the day she just wants to live in a cabin and be a cute wife#GONKI CODED#ESP SINCE DIRECTOR SAID KI IS WIFE#I WILL FIND SOME WAY TO PUT THIS ON TWITTER CUZ IT BEEN LIVING RENT FREEE IN MY HEAD#THE PARALLELS ALL THERE#It does not matter Mi/kasa is stronger she is cute wife at end of day and just supports E/ren just like Ki DOES PERIOD GONKI CANON#OFC IT ENDED IN TRADEGY BUT THE IDEA IS THERE#someone being physically stronger does not mean they have to fuffil the role kg’s want Ki to fill sorry not sorry E/RENMIKA IS PROOF AND#GONKI CANON
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Grandma update
Oh boy there’s a lot.
So first off she was hospitalized again because she couldn’t walk and it looked like she was having a stroke, then it seemed she had some type of mental break, she was cleared for their original concerns but got diagnosed with mersa so they had to put her on different stronger antibiotics.
Now we’ve found out while she does have dementia, she was miss diagnosed with Parkinson’s and actually had Lewy body dementia. Now she in a care home that will hopefully be short term until she has enough mobility to get around the house, but if not then they’re capable of keeping her long term.
#I’m sorry I post about her so often but I don’t have any one who isn’t family to talk about this with#sometimes it’s easier to tell strangers than keep it in#she helped raise us it isn’t easy watching her grow less and less lucid and mobile day by day
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my unpopular opinion is the whole ron weasley and weasley family bashing in the fandom is so wild to me??? with the same old argument about molly/ron/ginny stealing money from harry is so gross. i literally cannot stand that!! just because the weasleys are not rich and affluent does not mean they only care about harry for their money???! it all seems so classist and bigoted to me tbh. ron is my most favorite character and it personally offends me whenever someone bashes him unnecessarily, he's literally THE most nuanced and well rounded character in the entire hp series, more than snape, more than dumbledore, more than harry himself
ooooh this one is interesting!!
so, in the interest of fairness, i'm going with neutral on this bc ive def enjoyed my share of fics with all these tropes in it. it's pretty big in the indy!harry circles and i used to gobble those up like nobody's business.
but like, i do see where ur coming from too. from a canon perspective, yeah, i don’t think it has any basis, at all. i won’t ever argue that the weasleys were gold diggers or dumbledore was an evil overlord in disguise or wtv. and the way the weasleys are talked about in those specific circles are. well. let’s just say it’s not a space for people who like them lol
that being said, is it possible to take their actions and twist it that way? sure. u can do that with anyone for anything, really. and then it becomes a matter of how well it was written to convince me. purely headcanon territory and i’m ngl, it’s kind of fun to see how outlandish a theory can be lol
but honestly, end of the day, i sympathise with u friend! i can never ever touch a fic where james and sirius are demonised, and i absolutely hate how they’re conceptualised by most people so. i get it.
#as always--super sorry for being so late friend!#internet is hard#everything is hard these days lol#im also melodramatic#don’t know how much i agree w ron being the most nuanced character#bc i feel like his characterisation went a bit downhill post poa#and i think dumbledore had a lot of depth#but on the whole yeah—he’s often overlooked as the jealous good#goof*#i read this fic once- about ron’s feelings towards his parents and how he felt excluded and neglected#it was post war and he went to therapy and all#it was very very good#romione + almost qpp golden trio with a dash of rose#(and the rose-harry relationship omg. it was so precious)#lol sorry that was a tangent#pen’s asks
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waiting “patiently” ^^
#Welcome home#welcome home website update#so sorry I’ve only been posting sketches lately!#I do need to get back into drawing more often#shoot I even have some artfight attacks to submit!#I promise to come back soon and good as new!#but back to welcome home…#Todays the day!#It’s almost 8:00 now#But I will wait for as long as I have to!#I have the utmost respect for Clown! Working hard on this lovely project#i hope they don’t feel like they’re under too much pressure#And I hope they a good night’s sleep after all this chaos#Sorry for rambling! It might be my new thing#what’s a good name for a rambling tag?#Bel rambles?#Rambles in the cabin?#Anyway#i hope everyone has a lovely night/day!
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wesker please let me sniff you I'll do anything you want afterwards
#sorry if i don’t answer asks too often#i might take a mini break#i’ve been feeing horrible these past couple of days so i might not answer asks or post anything for a bit#i just need some time to myself#hopefully i feel better soon
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man what a time it is to be a desi kpop stan
#sorry this is a complete 180 from my last post 😭#idk i feel like i really should care more about the fact that idols constantly disrespect desi culture but i honestly don’t#because it’s such a reoccurring issue and it happens so often that my first instinct is to brush it off#it’s like i’m desensitized to it and want to forget about it so i can ignore the issue#like… idk i just don’t really have the thoughts to express my words right now lmao i’m so tired#i’m referring to twice and stayc here btw#like. they’re my favs and i love them but also. damn. it’s just a constant issue with kpop#like there was the youngji thing a few days ago#and i can name plenty more instances but it’s also so complicated because on the one hand i personally may not care about something#but others in my culture may so i get so conflicted#being a non korean poc kpop stan sucks sometimes#anyways i’m going to take a nap now#isai.txt
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but: wash your gaddamn bedsheets. If you only have one set and the idea of washing your bedsheets + remaking your bed in one day seems intimidating you can just set the bedsheets aside to wash another day. But above all please wash your bedsheets around every 2 weeks.
Would you wear a t-shirt 8 hours a day for 2 weeks without washing it? No! That’s gross! Well then your bed is gross if you’re not washing your sheets regularly. Your pillow case should be washed every week because your putting your head and face all over it. Take the first step and start washing your gaddamn bedsheets.
#ra speaks#personal#hygiene#bedsheets#laundry#*grisping you* I’m physically disabled I’m depressed I have autism I struggle w executive function#if you think this post is ableist I’m sorry it wasn’t meant that way. if you need help/accommodation/simply can’t wash your sheets regularl#that’s fine! that’s whatever! I’m not a fucking cop never wash your bedsheets or wash them everyday!#I just think a lot of people don’t realize how often/were never taught how to take care of their bedding#and that’s my brother ended up with a him-shaped stain on his college bedsheets bc he washed them. once a year.#just. your body is sweating and touching those sheets every single day. you’re getting oils and dead skin cells on the bedsheets#they need to be washed the same as any other linens. please. I’m happy to talk abt fitted sheets and laundry accessibility#as someone w limited mobility + poor executive function.
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I pulled up the sketchy online Old English version of Beowulf and yeah it has 3,182 lines. If you took 5 seconds per line you’d need four and a half hours to recite it (or specifically to recite the one version that got both written down and preserved for a thousand years) (only a little charred). But I mean 5 seconds per line is for chumps who don’t want to unlock the Beowulf speedrun.
Also ok for SCIENCE I timed myself and quickly reciting the first 5 lines took 16 seconds, let’s call that fifteen because I mispronounced meodosetla. At that pace (if you could keep it up consistently and I mean never cough never take a drink) you’d be looking at 2.65 hours, or 2 hours and 39 minutes (or 159 minutes). This is actually 20 minutes shorter than the theatrical run-time of Peter Jackson’s Two Towers (179 minutes).
Now, the original post was about reciting Beowulf in an hour, so 2 hours and 39 minutes is not gonna cut it, and is so far over time that even doubling your pace can’t save you. You’re gonna lose this speedrun and Æthelflæd’s new scop poet is going to laugh at you. However, there’s a cheat to exploit here. In the period when Old English (language of Beowulf) was spoken, people often just said there were 12 hours in a day and 12 hours in a night, no longer how long or short daylight actually was. This made the concept of a daylight hour stretch in summer, when daylight lasts way longer than 12 hours. There’s a good article on this I’ll find it if anyone wants it. I don’t actually expect anyone to have read this far.
ANYWAY, the longest day in Jarrow (furthest north Old English speaking town I could think of) in 2024 (sorry this data is not calibrated for the 10th century) was of course midsummer: June 20th, at 17 modern hours 22 modern minutes and 1 modern second. This means each early medieval hour that day actually lasted 1 hour and 26 minutes. Still not nearly enough lads, but this is when it becomes a skill game. Because I wasn’t going ALL that fast. We need to squeeze 159 minutes of Beowulf (aka basically Two Towers) into 86 minutes. If you could half my pace-per-five-lines from 15 seconds to 7.5 seconds, you’d be able to do it, one day of the year, in Jarrow. Iceland is cheating. Good luck.
#alas I don’t think it’s possible#10 seconds per five lines maybe#let’s pretend I did not spend 45 minutes on this
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