#it’s like i’m desensitized to it and want to forget about it so i can ignore the issue

[solojihyo]

man what a time it is to be a desi kpop stan

[bloomeng]

There’s so much to be said about Jason and this is a much larger conversation but I feel like when people are discussing Jason and Bruce’s relationship sometimes we forget that killing is… bad? Like Bruce isn’t angry about Jason’s politics or even his worldview, he’s disturbed because he’s willing to kill and to kill brutally. And Bruce’s philosophy is that the difference between him and the villains is that he doesn’t cross that line. Not to mention that at his core Bruce is an optimist who wants to believe anyone can change.

And like sure killing the Joker is one thing and a debate within itself but I feel like people see the violence as just fictional violence, which it is to us, but to the fictional characters it’s not. Does that make sense? Like we the audience are desensitized to onscreen/onpage violence and the death of random henchmen number 37 is just ink on a page but to a character inhabiting that world that could very well be a single father whose child is now an orphan etc.

I’m not even anti-Jason-killing because it’s interesting, it builds tension, it’s a different perspective that’s safe to explore in fiction. But it’s odd to pretend that Bruce is in the wrong for being very hurt by Jason. Doesn’t make all his actions valid but his emotions are.

[lycandrophile]

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

[islandofsages]

Hey ! I wanted to request a Ignihyde!Male!Reader that look like a little like Grim ? Like, they have the same ears and tail, the same fire (even if the reader controls his fire better than Grim) and people think they are from the same family/are connect ?

Just Grim and Reader looking at each other and asking to themselves if they have just meet their secret brother, and Ace, Deuce, Ortho, Idia and parental figure!Trein being confused to their friend (Grim for Adeuce, Reader for Ortho and Idia) having (a possible) brother.

(Ignore it if you don't want to write it)

Have a good day.

characters: ace, deuce, the shroud brothers and trein x male ignihyde reader

tags: platonic, fluff, imagines + scenario format; implication of yuu, mention of azul

warnings: nothing

author's notes: sorry this took a while! and that i strayed a bit again help. hope you like this <3

You’re one of the only beastmen in Ignihyde - and you’re okay with that. It gets a little lonely at times but that’s nothing new for an Ignihyde student. People mind their own business, you mind yours. And the only friends you have, in this case the Shroud brothers, basically forget that you’re different from the others. Days are hardly interesting, despite the college’s many atrocities - or maybe because, and now you’re desensitized.

Until one day, you spot a creature, all feline-like and sitting on someone’s shoulder. Okay, not the weirdest thing you’ve seen at NRC so far, so you’re about to shrug it off. Then you see it; a tail and a pair of ears that are eerily similar to your own. What’s next, it can manipulate fire as freely as you do?

“Hey guys, I’ve got a new trick up my sleeve. Watch this!”

One thing you didn’t expect for it to have something in common with you is that it can talk. Though maybe you should be less surprised, considering even the paintings on the walls can talk in this place. But still. You forget that you should be expecting something from the words it just spouted and are caught off guard when it starts spewing fire next. This creature is way too talented at throwing out stuff from its mouth, you think as you jump out of the way just in time to avoid being burnt to a crisp.

“Grim, you can’t just spit fire whenever you want to! We’ve been over this!”

A redheaded student in front of you starts to scold the creature whose name is Grim apparently. He looks familiar but you can’t quite put your finger on it-

“You’re just jealous, Ace.”

Oh, you feel like Idia’s talked about this Ace person before. He described him as “crafty” and seemed to think of him as some sneaky extrovert but you’ve learnt to not put much faith in Idia’s descriptions of other people. No offense to your friend but at least he’s somewhat self-aware of how anxious he gets around others.

“I definitely am not??? This is the same thing that almost got us expelled, you know!”

You feel like you may also have heard of a group of first years almost getting expelled until they somehow got their hands on a magestone the headmage told them to get, as if you can just swing by a store and buy one. You know how hopeless Headmage Crowley and dumping a lot of work on a bunch of freshmen is in character but you can't help but feel disappointed anyway.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but I agree. You really have to learn how to keep your pride in check…”

Another student, blue-haired and you assume is Ace’s friend, chimes in on the scolding. The student whose shoulder Grim has made himself at home only shook their head, most likely accustomed to his behavior. You watch them bicker as you ruminate on the resemblance of that strange creature to you.

After a few minutes of thinking (and walking so that you don't lose them), you decide that the fact that you were almost a victim of Grim’s flames is strong enough of an excuse to allow you to approach the friend group.

“Hey. You four.”

They turn around to notice you finally (though you can hardly blame them – save for Idia and his glow-in-the-dark-esque hair, Ignihyde students are not noticed as much). It takes them a second to realize that you're no ordinary student. When they do, their jaws fall open, letting out a wild “Huh?!”.

Grim himself jumps off the quiet student's shoulder and stands on his two feet. The day is getting crazier and crazier the longer you entertain this coincidence. He then points at you and begins his bullshit-spewing again.

“W-Who are you?! And why do you look like me?!”

You should be asking the same questions right now but the lack of answers for them makes any word on the tip of your tongue die before they can escape. Plus, the way he's saying his words sound more accusatory than you’d like to admit.

“Don’t look at me! I'm just like this!”

Grim doesn't seem satisfied by your answer and honestly, you can't blame him. You both are quite confused by what's happening at the moment. You two resort to unconsciously recreating the two-Spidermen-pointing-at-each-other meme. The other three students also seem to be at a loss from what they're witnessing.

Ace Trappola

He would laugh at Grim and point out how he's not special anymore but he's too stunned to even say anything (at least for now)

He looks you up and down again then pinches himself to make sure he’s not hallucinating

He feels like he should be less surprised and that the uncanny resemblance could just be passed off as a coincidence but he has to admit, seeing you two as not brothers may prove to be a little difficult for him

He gets used to you two over time and stops questioning it altogether. Sometimes he even forgets

At times, he’d poke fun at Grim and say how you two are way too different personality-wise to even be correlated in some way

But deep down, he’s happy for Grim he found someone similar to him 

He won’t say that aloud obviously.

Deuce Spade

His eyes dart from you to Grim then you again. This goes on for a minute

He almost asks you if you can also breathe fire so recklessly

He ends up interrogating you, like a parent doing a background check on the friend you just brought home

Sooner or later, he concludes that you two are “bros”, despite not having the same feline characteristics

He’s glad Grim found his long-lost brother (he gets a smack from Grim for this)

He would notice how Grim’s smiles oftentimes are wider when you’re around, probably feeling some kind of kinship with you

And he gets that - since you all are “bros” now, he’s more than willing to have your backs now

After sorting things out with the freshmen, you return to your cave like the nerd that you are, feeling more exhausted than usual. To your surprise, you also return to two nerds being in said cave. A Shroud brothers ambush is not something that happens too often.

“Hey (Y/N). We decided that your place needs trashing. Also Ortho wants to try out this new game he found but it needs at least three players.”

Sounds about right. The geeks are geeking out as usual, just at your place this time. But you need them to hear about how crazy today was. You open your mouth to say something-

“I tried to convince him to get Azul but you know how stubborn my brother is.”

Ortho cuts you off and you force a nervous chuckle as a response. You agree but you should really get this off your chest-

“Hm? Did you guys hear something~?”

Idia teases and it brings a genuine laugh out of you and Ortho. Then you take a deep breath and release it. Third time’s the charm, right? You try again.

“Listen, you two. You wouldn’t believe what happened today.”

They perk right up at the promise of gossip (specifically, gossip related to you). You jump a bit from the excitement, finally glad you got their attention. Your hands start to gesture while you tell today’s story.

“I found this… cat. His name is Grim? He has the exact same ears and tail that I do! And he can breathe fire too! Except he does it with no regards to his surroundings whatsoever. That’s kinda concerning.”

Idia Shroud

“You saw wittle Gwimmy??? Man, I’m so jealous… I’ve been in need of some cat therapy for a while now…”

By the sound of it, he already knows who he is. You gasp dramatically at this, feeling betrayed at the fact he never told you about him

He tells you to chill and simply excuse that he didn’t think it was that important or anything

Of course, at first he was shocked but then he pondered about the coincidence - concluded that weirder things have happened and can happen

You’re unamused by this but it is very Idia. You suppose if you have a curse where it burns blot in your body nothing can really be seen as weird

Still, he entertains the possibility of you having a non-human distant cousin

If he isn’t already so nerdy, it feels like he’s growing a second brain trying to theorize what your relation to Grim is…

Ortho Shroud

Also already knows who he is. This truly is a Shroud brothers ambush… of betrayal at that

Theatrics aside, you try to pry him for further information and maybe explain how you and Grim may be related

“Sorry (Y/N), I’d love to help but Grim has been avoiding both of us for a while now. Whether that’s intentional or not, I’m not sure, but I sure wish I was with you when you ran into him. I’m sure I could’ve gotten some valuable information from him!”

You have your doubts about that.

While you keep things to yourself, Ortho provides you with Grim’s surface level information - which is basically nothing

So you two vow to get closer to Grim; even with the ulterior motive, it doesn’t hurt to have more friends Idia would beg to differ

Grim-like traits aside, it’ll be eye-opening to him to see if you two are similar in any regard at all - whether it be from your healing presence to your dazzling smile.

The next morning, you walk to your first class of the day: History of Magic. A fairly interesting class regardless of your stance on the subject. Professor Trein goes on and on about something, you write things down in your notebook. Your eyes are on Lucius for half of the class too. Your mind is still stuck on the events of yesterday. You feel like you’d be reminded of Grim any time you lay your eyes on anything feline - including yourself.

At last, class is dismissed. As much as you enjoy the class and genuinely like Professor Trein, you can’t help but feel that classes are dragged out way too much in this college. You pack up your things and you leave around the same time the professor does. So when Grim comes running and tackles you to the hallway floor, he’s there to witness it all.

“Hey twin! Wanna have lunch with us later? You’ll be seating with us cool kids!”

As you try to regain your composure over being literally knocked over and the fact that Grim has already warmed up to you, Professor Trein attempts to comprehend the scene unfolding before him.

Mozus Trein

Yes, of course he needs to scold Grim over misbehaving for the umpteenth time that week, but he’s also in awe of how… similar you and Grim look.

If he’s seen either of you before, whether in vicinity of each other or not, he’s never noticed blame it on the old grandpa eyes

People (and creatures now too, accounting for Grim’s being here) of your traits and abilities are far and few between

As much as he’d like to inquire you two on your ancestries (and their possible connection), he does respect your privacy

He always liked having you in his class but now, he finds himself looking out for you more often, a way to put his energy from his curiosity about you into something else

He’d ask you about your day and jokingly ask how your relationship with your long-lost brother is doing as if he’s not acting like a dad himself

Needless to say, he’s definitely your favorite teacher now.

You accept Grim’s offer for whatever reason and have lunch with the “cool kids”. You feel a little out of place at first, hanging out with people who aren’t the Shrouds, but then you start having lunch with them every other day. Then you start visiting Ramshackle Dorm where Grim is staying and spend time with the others there. At some point, you brought the Shrouds along and they would bring their games.

Suddenly, you know a lot of people. You think to yourself how crazy friendships start. You go from not knowing their name to knowing what they named their pet rock when they were a child. And in Grim’s case, you went from pointing at each other confusingly to pointing at each other for stealing each other’s food.

For the record, he definitely stole your pudding first.

[syndxlla]

best friends don’t look at each other the way we do

A low stakes, high rewards and self-indulgent Zelink fanfic. Canon-compliant, takes place between BOTW and TOTK

chapter three: She is beautiful, I am a mess

Read chapter two here

My masterlist

Song: Lights are On by Tom Rosenthal

Summary: Link processes his destiny while Zelda slowly recovers. Link meets with an old friend, and realizes how much he wants to Zelda in his life.

Warnings: PTSD, implied self-harm, illness, trauma

Word Count: 3.3k words

Authors note: The last line of this? Scrumptious. I ate that up. Also I’m going to start doing different pieces of art/gifs at the start of each chapter mostly so I can see the differences in the notifications! Thanks for all the support! Everyone has been so kind this is easily the most supportive fan base I’ve ever written for.

Link doesn’t leave her side the entire night, yet again. He sits on a stool pushed against the bed, and watches as she breathes in the sleep. He refuses to sleep, which means he’s gone about four days now with very little actual rest. This normally wouldn’t be a problem, but fighting Ganon on the second day of that no sleep schedule has really taken a toll on his physical health.

In his quiet contemplation as Zelda rested, the weight of what just happened set in. His heart rate rose as he remembered the sight of the Calamity, its spider-like body dripping with malice and disgust as it sneered at him. The stench is still pungent in his memory, his bad ear still beats with the blood that filled his body as he faced his destiny for a second time. He’s supposed to be courageous, unafraid and rarely daunted by his fate, but in reality he’s terrified.

Link doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the feeling in his bones as witnessed by the beast. How he felt paralyzed, how the night before he prayed to the Goddess that he wouldn’t wake up. Make someone else do it, please.

He could never admit this to anyone, and even struggles to admit it to himself. If he’s supposed to be the closest thing to the God of Bravery, why does he feel like such a pathetic coward most of the time? Maybe it was his reckless abandon that caused his status, or the fact that he’s so desensitized to the horrors of his knighthood. But those things do not equate to courage.

What even was courage, he asks himself.

He looks at Zelda. “She is beautiful”, he thinks “I am a mess”.

Link places a nervous thumb to her jaw with trepidation. He gently holds her face, soft enough that it wouldn’t wake her. Her skin is so soft, her eyelashes so gentle, her breathing even. Does she have any idea how beautiful she is when she sleeps?

When day finally breaks, Link realizes how cold it’s gotten in the house, and he takes the brave step of leaving the sleeping princess to build a fire in the hearth. He does so quickly, using a fire arrow. He pulls on a warm shirt, and quickly returns upstairs to Zelda.

She was awake, looking up at him.

“You should keep sleeping.” He whispers.

She groans, “Why did you leave?” She was aware enough to tell?

“I built a fire.” Link explains, "It's cold.”

“Oh.” Zelda whispers, “I am cold.”

Link crosses to his dresser and pulls out a woven blanket from the bottom drawer, draping it over her and the blanket she already had. She whispers thank you. ”Did you dream?” Link asks.

Zelda nods.

“It was me and my mom, we were eating and laughing together.” She describes and Link smiles. He places his hand against her forehead, and feels that she’s burning up. Of course she has a fever, that would cause her body to have the chills, that on top of a cold house wasn’t a good fit.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, vocalizing from a whisper for the first time.

Zelda thinks about it for a moment, she’s so snuggled up in the blankets all he can see is her face. “I’m not sick.” She states. Link is skeptical, but he nods.

“Go back to sleep.”

“Are you going to leave me again?” She asks.

“I might. I think I’ll go into town and get some things from the market, and I should probably send a message to Impa that we’re alive.” Link explains. Zelda frowns.

“I’m scared to be alone again.”

Link frowns, “You’ll be okay. But you need to sleep, your body is trying to recover from-“ He stops himself, he doesn't need to explain any further.

“You need sleep, too.” Zelda replies. She was right.

“I’ll be fine.” He shrugs it off. “But you need to promise me that you’ll be okay if I leave for a few hours, alright?”

Zelda groans, “You’ll come back, right?”

“Of course.”

It’s a few more hours before he leaves, he waits until Zelda falls back asleep, and it’s mid-morning when he finally does. He makes his way into Hateno Village, which is as lively as ever. He first stops in at the general store, buying a few essential items, and telling the store keeper about where he was last.

“You’re telling me you got rid of that thing at Hyrule Castle?” He asks, skeptical. Link just nods and shrugs as he examines a swift carrot. Like it was no big deal. The man laughs behind the counter, “And you lived to tell the tale? I don’t believe it.” He scoffs.

Link sets his items on the table between them, digging out a handful of rupees. “Well, I lived to tell the tale of Naydra last year, you all witnessed that, didn’t you?”

“I suppose… but that thing at the castle is a legend, I never even saw it. Just got told ghost stories of it as a boy.” His voice was gruff.

Link smiles, “whatever you want to believe, you don’t have to believe me.” Link sets to rupees down.

“That’s more than the cost.” The man states.

“Keep it.” Link pushes it towards him before putting his items in his pouch. “Use it to fix your roof, I saw it was leaking.”

The man smiles, “you’re always so good to us, Link. This village owes you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, except maybe your trust. The story will spread and rumors will, too.” Link turns to leave, but stops just outside of the door, speaking over his shoulder. “It wasn’t a ghost either, it was a spider-like thing that hatched out of a cocoon with giant axes and swords.” Link opens his arms up to show the size, “Probably at least the size of three oxen!” The shopkeeper's face goes pale, “But that wasn’t even the hard part!” Link starts to smile mischievously, “Then we took the battle onto Hyrule Field, and he turned into a massive pig. As big as a house, or bigger.”

The owner was dumbfounded, unable to reply at first, but then he shook his head, “You have quite the imagination, Link!” He chuckles and waves him off. Link just grins as he exits the shop.

He makes his way up the mountain to Purah and Symin’s, making a stop at the farm to pet the cows and help the owner with a broken fence post in trade for some milk. It was about noon now, and he wasn’t expecting to take as long to get to the Tech Lab, but the fence was absolutely destroyed. The farmer didn’t know what caused it, but it certainly wasn’t a cow…

The light on the Hateno valley is warm and inviting. It will be the harvest soon. Link had missed his days here. Early on after he woke up, he spent weeks at a time in this little village. Mostly because he was still too poor to afford sleeping anywhere other than his home. It was a safe home base for him when he was freeing the divine beasts. It wasn’t until he had laid his friends' spirits to rest that he became the wild child of the forest he was now. The last year or so he stopped spending more than a few days anywhere, it was the anxiety of the upcoming battle he kept avoiding that caused him to become such a nomad. He learned that it was always free to sleep in trees.

He gets to the lab, and before he can even open the door, Purah is swinging the door open. “Linky! You’re alive!” She cheers, looking up at him.

”I am,” Link replies with a smile, “and Zelda is, too.”

Purah smiles wide, her eyes becoming fiery, “Incredible. Is she okay!” She opens the door for Link, he enters the messy-as-usual lab, setting his sack of goodies down on the table.

“I don’t know…” Link shakes his head, “She’s very tired all the time, and she passed out quite unexpectedly last night.” He sighs. “I’m actually rather worried about her.” He admits. “It took me a long time to wake her up after she passed out, too. Longer than it should have.” Purah walks over to the table before climbing on top of it to Link’s eye-level.

“But she’s alive! And I’m assuming her body has been preserved, no?”

“It has, she doesn’t look a day over seventeen. But her spirit and her mind has changed, she’s tired.”

“Aren’t we all…” Purah shakes her head, “But no one as much as her.” She shrugs, “I would love to run some tests on you two, it might help me figure out my age issue.”

“More tests? I thought you said you were done with me?” Link groans.

“Nope, now that Zelda is here I want to take a sample of her DNA, too, and see if I can reverse-engineer it to cross with my DNA and get me back to my preferred physical age. I’m sick of this.” She gestures to her child-like state.

“When she’s feeling better I’ll ask her. I’m sure she’ll say yes, considering her love of science and all.”

“Alright Linky, what are you here for, I know you didn’t come to just talk, you always need something from me.” She teases.

“Alright Purah… don’t be mad.” He says as he reaches into his pouch to pull out a smashed and destroyed sheikah slate: the same one that got him through his quest.

Purah’s face goes white. “You did not just do that to an ancient piece of indestructible tech.” She reaches for it, taking the device in her hand and cringing.

“Well it wasn’t that indestructible, now was it?” Link asks with an awkward laugh.

“How?” Purah asks, traumatized.

“It happened while I fought Ganon, it kind of… exploded, and then he trampled it as a giant hog in Hyrule field.”

“That is…” She chooses her words carefully, “Epic, Linky.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No! But you’re gonna be when you can warp to sheikah hotspots. You’ll just have to go on foot like the rest of us. Speaking of, did you see what happened to the shrine in the ocean?”

“What?” He obviously didn’t.

“It sunk back into the ground, completely gone! Symin watched it happen! I’m curious about that happening to the other sheikah tech…” She gets lost in thought, and Link realizes that they all might disappear just as fast as they were found. “No one is gonna be more heartbroken about this than the Princess.” Purah finishes her thoughts.

“I’m hiding it from her. She can’t take a heart break in this state.” Link groans, sitting down in one of the chairs by the table. “Purah… I need you to send a message to Impa. I would go myself in person and be back by dinner but I can’t because the slate is gone. I know you sheikah have weird ways of communicating through distance, especially you sisters.” Link sighs.

“Oh she’ll beat you if you don’t go in person. You know how she is.”

“Yes. Which is why I am absolutely sick over this. But I can’t leave Zelda, she’s not okay, and I don’t know how long it’s going to be until she is.” He explains. “Impa can be mad at me all she wants, but she deserves to know that we are both alive and safe, and Ganon is not.”

Purah squints, “Fine. But you owe me.”

“As if saving the world wasn’t enough.” Link scoffs playfully.

“Hey! Don’t get cocky, no one likes a cocky hero. Besides, it’s not like you did it on your first try.” Purah jumps down from the table and Link’s entire body seizes. She freezes in her tracks when she realizes she said that out loud. She slowly turns around to see Link tense and unhappy. “Linky… I’m sorry I didn’t mean-“

He says nothing at first, “Is that what you guys say about me?”

“Link, we've always pushed each other's buttons like that.”

“It’s fine.” He sighs, it wasn’t fine. He signs, “I’m leaving. I don’t need anyone else’s shit.” He always signed when his emotions were at risk of betraying his words. He didn’t want to upset someone with his words. Purah isn’t very good at signs, but she gets the gist.

It was rare to see Link genuinely mad, especially at someone he cared about and knows is good. But that was out of line.

“Link…”

“Will you just tell Impa that we’re okay. Both of us. The calamity is gone and we’ll come visit as soon as we get our strength back.” He grabs his belongings and heads out.

“Wait-“ Purah tries to stop him but he leaves too fast. He takes a deep breath when he gets outside, looking out towards the sea. He walks towards the edge of the cliff, staring out at the horizon, letting the salty sea air blow on his skin. He looks where the shrine that lived in the water once was, and nothing was there but the original mound of island sand it sat on.

Back at home, Zelda is still in bed, and Link frowns when he sees her. He sits on his stool next to her, placing his hand against her forehead again. Her fever hasn’t broken.

“I’m home.” He whispers, and she stirs awake, her green eyes looking up at him. She smiles.

“I had the most wonderful dream.” She sighs. “We were at the beach, you and I, and Impa and Urbosa… and my mother.” Link worries that she dreams about those who have passed, he brushes some of her golden hair out of her face. “We looked at the water and listened to the seagulls. My mother was so beautiful and healthy, not like how she was when I remembered her.”

Zelda was very young when her mother died, and she was quite ill for the years leading up to her passing. Link remembered that, he remembered many of the things Zelda opened up to him about in their final days before The Calamity. “Do you want some water?” Link asks, she nods. He stands up, making his way to the well outside and scooping a bucket of it before coming back in. He finds her sitting up in bed.

“Did you get up all by yourself?” He asks with a smile. She nods, her face still pale and expression lost. She was much worse today. Link scoops some water out with a cup, and hands it to her. She shakily holds it in both hands, bringing the wooden mug up to her lips and sipping lightly. Link sits beside her this time, but he feels petrified.

In the last two days they've already crossed so many boundaries. He feels as though he has to be the stoic Knight from before, never looking at her for too long, not speaking unless spoken to, and especially not touching without explicit permission. That was a whole lifetime ago, however, and he’s barely the same person he was when those were the rules.

But even so, he can’t help but follow those roles that he keeps breaking. He shouldn’t see her in such a state: shirt too loose, eyes droopy, sighs so gentle and alluring it could tame a lynel.

He knows no one is watching them, no one is there to judge them, but he cannot bring himself to hold her hand as she shakes, even though he desperately wants to. Placing his hand on her head to check for temperature and burns in her hair from her face was already a serious breach of protocol, and yet when he did it, he felt so comfortable, so safe. He felt more like himself.

Maybe what’s holding him back is the knowledge that she didn’t lose her memories. To her, he is supposed to be that obedient servant.

He knows they got very close towards the end. Based on the memories he’s recollected, he knows they broke those rules far more than they should have. But it was always by Zelda’s instigation. She wanted him to place his hand on the small of her back as they walked, she asked him to lace up her goddess dress, she initiated the gentle touches and hugs of despair.

Now, he’s terrified of taking advantage of her in her sickly state, but he wants so badly to lie with her. To finally get some rest of his own, in his own bed, holding the girl he worked so tirelessly to rescue.

He wishes he could rest as a reward.

He reminds himself that her presence, safety and life is reward enough.

And goddess, is that a wonderful reward. Her weight sinking down the bed, her intoxicating smell, their shoulders just barely brushing. She was incredible, completing a feat that no one had ever come close to accomplishing, and here she was, in his home, in his bed, wearing his clothes.

Link's stomach flips, and he immediately forces himself to relax. Realizing how immature his though process was. This was a princess, not a girl in the Gerduo Brothel. He was confused.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks him, pulling him out of his rampant thoughts. He snaps back to reality.

“What?” He turns to see her looking up at him with her shiny eyes. “Oh…” He desperately wants to tell her, tell her that he’s thinking of her and only her. For three years he spent sleepless nights staring at the heavens and thinking about her. How he hungrily searched for every memory just to hear her voice, and how he took her diary out of the castle to read every page, even the ones that were scribbled with doodles and blacked-out poetry. He wanted to tell her that he fell for her the moment she told him to open-his-eyes, and when he finally remembered what she looked like, she was even prettier than what he imagined.

“…Horses.” He says, dumbfounded and foolish. She smiles.

“I’ve always admired how you loved them. You were the best rider in all of the guard, I fully believe it’s because of how gentle you were with them. They trusted you, which made them listen to you.”

The way she spoke was so thoughtful, so intelligent. Link catches himself accidentally looking at her lips, but yanks his eyes away.

“W-What were you thinking about?” He asks.

She looks off, swallowing thickly. Zelda then lifts her hand, holding it palm up, staring at it. Nothing happens.

“My gift isn’t working anymore.” She states. “I tried while you were getting the water, and look, nothing.” Zelda explains. Link looks at her hand, not knowing what he’s supposed to see.

Her hand is so soft, her fingers long and slender, her nails clean and rounded to perfection.

Her wrists are littered with old scars.

Link wants to take her hand. She sets it down in her lap, “I suppose that’s alright. I don’t need them anymore.”

“What was it like?” Link asks. “In that castle.” Zelda shudders. “You don’t have to say.” Link states.

Zelda carefully constructs her words, “Cold. All the time I was cold. I wasn’t conscious usually, but I wasn’t… unconscious either. I know it makes no sense. I was in a sort of trance. Time seemed to move at a rapid pace while also simultaneously standing still.” She looks at him, rotating her body to face him, he mirrors her.

“Did he ever… say anything?” Link asked.

Zelda nodded, “In the beginning he would whisper constantly, but it was an ancient language I didn’t understand. The longer time went on, the more tired he got, but the wiser I became. He spoke less, and I was able to pick up on certain words and phrases. He didn’t expect me to last as long as I did, that’s for certain.”

Link listens intently, “How did you do it, last so long?” He asks.

Zelda’s big, green eyes meet his. She takes his hand with hers.

“Because I knew one day you would wake up.”

—

Read Chapter four here

[mochinomnoms]

Kalim holds everything to keep a smile and I swear to god he is not okay.

-Multiple assassination attempts to the point he is probably desensitized. I’m surprised he is not really paranoid about it.

-A betrayal from whom he consider one of the only people in the world he felt safe. The reason he dislikes curry is because Jamil almost died.

-Being handed everything, which probably makes him feel like he really has no real talents beyond being the host and face of celebrations, that and just a wallet to people.

-Oldest brother, but who knows, he might just be the one that was the luckiest to survive till 17. He might’ve even seen some of his younger or older siblings die.

-STILL HAVING A HEART OF GOLD that everyone and their mom knows can be manipulated. And he probably knows deep down that many see him as that, just easy to manipulate.

How is this guy still HOLDING?? He is kinda like Jasmine in the sense that even with all the money in the world, he is caged and alone.

These are all very good points, but also remember:

He's inconsiderate to other's feelings/wants. He will often to things for/with other people against their wishes because he wants to do it because he thinks it will be fun or nice.

Kalim is very in the moment, he needs satisfaction then there and now. If he wants to do something, then it's being done whether you want to or not.

He's not actually a very good housewarden, and while him being instated as housewarden wasn't his own doing, he provides little to no support or leadership to his dorm members. During Book 4 we learn that Scarabia was last in both exam rankings and the Spelldrive tournament, despite the dorm being known for it's incredibly smart and cunning students. He instead distracts his dorm with nonstop parties and let's them do whatever despite that often being against their best interests.

He's so attached to Jamil that it's at both of their detriments. Jamil is so talented but is restricted by Kalim, while it's not really his fault as much as it is their parents. Kalim is also restricting himself by remaining so reliant on Jamil to the point that he probably is unable to do basic household chores.

Idk, I love him so so sooooo much he is me and I love him but I think sometimes it's very easy to assign him as the "uwu innocent soft baby boy that is just a lil dumb" that it can be easy to forget that he is also sometimes not a great person. He's not bad or mean, especially compared to the rest of the cast, but he's not a great one either. It's why I love him because he has so much potential to grow! I really think that the main core of his issues is due to his reliance on Jamil, and now that he is aware of Jamil's feelings as of Book 4, he now has the ability to acknowledge both if their faults and take on the path to become a better person.

[creelkobblelaufeyson69]

Old face/old feelings

Warnings: smut and angst

Y/n had tried moving on from the Doctor; the feelings, and just the thoughts about him. They believed it would help ease the pain, but so many things they owned reminded them about their adventures through space and time with him. Their dreams filled with the adventures as well. They just wanted to forget all of it

The last thing he told them, they wanted to forget, but failed many times to do so. “I’ll come back for you Y/n. That’s a promise” he told them all those years ago while peeking out of the Tardis. They believed that lie, and now here they were laying on the guest bed of the Noble’s place since their house mysteriously collapsed

Y/n weirdly enough had a sneaky feeling something like that would happen, so the day before they managed to pack everything up safely. It had taken them as a bit of a surprise when it happened, but once going through all the shit you go through with The Doctor, you get desensitized to bizarre shit like that

Speaking of bizarre, someone was rushing upstairs to where they were. They got up, and now stood up to take on whatever was coming up. Y/n knew it wasn’t any of the Nobles since the family knew better to just randomly pop up in the guest room. Soon a creature with big eyes had appeared, and behind it was him

“Meep meep” Beep the Meep says as it approaches them. It goes over to hug their leg as if afraid of The Doctor. “Y/n?” The Doctor starts in confusion. “What the hell are you doing here?” He asked as they stood there in shock. “Meep Meep” they looked down at the Meep as it now looks up at them

“My house exploded…” they started as they now looked back at him. “Oh, I’m so sorry” he said as the Meep lets go of their leg, and went onto their bed now. Y/n stayed silent as they had waited so long for the two to see each other again, but they felt angry

“You’re a lair by the way” they started, which makes him shocked. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for you?! Shit, I wouldn’t have cared if you hadn’t looked the same, because you’re still the person I loved all those years ago” he listens intently as the rest of the Noble family comes up

He looks at the family as Y/n felt tears leaving their eyes now. “You have no clue how much I wanted to find a way to communicate with you, but I didn’t since I thought you’d be quick… but you clearly had better plans, huh Doctor?” Beep the Meep felt bad for the human now

“Would the human like to sit next to the meep?” Beep the meep asked them. They looked at the Meep, and nodded their head. They go over to sit next to the Meep as everyone was watching this. “Oh great, there’s a party to seem in this fucking mess…” they begin to sob as they held onto the Meep. “There, there” the Meep comforts them as The Doctor walks towards them

“Y/n I didn’t want to lose you. You meant too much to me to let that happen to you. I also thought about you endlessly as I traveled, but I’m here now, and I promise you I won’t leave you behind” They looked at him once he sat down next to them. “You broke the last promise Doctor, how am I supposed to know you won’t break this one?” They asked him

“You know that ring you wear…?” He asked them. They nodded their head as they stopped hugging onto the Meep to look at the ring. It was a Gallifrey ring he gave them on the last trip the two shared. “Did you perhaps know that your house was gonna explode the day before it had actually happened?” He asked them, and they quickly nodded their head as they kept staring at the ring

“That ring can help you easily avoid danger” they looked at The Meep. “It can also make an enemy be friendly if close by” he adds as they stood up now. He does the same as they find themselves backing away from the Meep. The Meep looks confused now. “Y/n, why are you going away from the Meep? I don’t bite” they found themselves quickly greeted by the wall behind them

“Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on?!” Donna asked as The Doctor stood next to them now. “I kinda never left your side” he says as he looks at them. They looked at him now as he takes out the sonic screwdriver. They admired the new look of the sonic. “Isn’t it stunning?” He asked them as he makes a cage for the Meep

“Yeah” they said as they hadn’t stopped looking at him. The Meep’s true colors were able to show now, and it was pissed off now. “Is someone coming to get the Meep?” He asked them, which makes them nod their head. “That’s excellent!” He kisses them on their lips now

“Come on Donna, let’s leave these two alone” Donna’s mother says as the two start walking downstairs again. Rose and her dad left as well. Once they pulled apart, they smiled. “What is it?” He asked with a matching smile. “She’s gonna be fine- Donna. She’ll remember everything, but she’ll live” they said as tears started to leave his eyes

“So you give out spoilers too?” He jokes, which makes them smile wider. “It’s happening downstairs. You’re just not present for it” they pointed out as two armed aliens show up. The Doctor was about to look, but they made him look back at them. “It’s okay. They know we mean no harm” their lips go onto his neck as they begin to leave hickeys

“Erm… Y/n, there’s people here” he points out as his face goes red. “Don’t worry sir, we’re quickly leaving now” one of the aliens said. Once the two were completely alone, they stopped leaving hickeys on his neck. “You have no clue how much I like you Doctor…” they start as they begin to strip

“I think I have an idea” he says as they discarded their graphic t shirt. He starts to discard his clothes now once realizing this was definitely happening. Once they were naked, they go over towards their bed, and find themselves lying near the edge of their bed. They begin to touch themselves as they waited for him to get completely naked

Once he was, he approaches the bed. “I’ve waited too long to do this…” he starts once he was close to the edge of the bed. He looks at their wet pussy, and just went ahead and lifted up their legs: spreading their legs open now, and soon his cock was in them

Their head arches back now as a moan escapes their mouth now. He had let out a moan as well as he starts to thrust now. “Oh, Doctor” they moaned out as their eyes go to the back of their head. His hands were grasped firmly on the edge of the bed. His head throws back now as moans continued to leave him

“Oi! Keep it quiet up there!” Donna shouts, which makes the two both smile. He stops, since he didn’t want to upset Donna who was clearly back to being herself. He had pulled out, and placed their legs back down. “Sorry about that darling, but we’re gonna have to continue in the Tardis” he says as he starts to get his clothes back on

“That’s fine” they said as they got up to get their clothes back on as well. Once the two were clothed again, the two find each other cuddling on the bed. “So where to first?” He asked them. “Anywhere” they answered as they find themselves fallen asleep. He notices, and smiles. He kisses their forehead, and then stares at the ceiling wondering why this face had come back

[filevenswhore]

pre-canon timeline after dark | pt. 2

uhm. . . i did a thing.

after seeing the sweet way u reacted to yesterday’s pre-canon tl after dark chap, i thought it’d be right to give u the continuation of that since i had it in my drafts also 💌

this is the second part of yesterday’s chap

it’s entirely written in mike’s pov

the chap is over 3k words long. a lil chunky.

there’s some explicit stuff at the end but v tame for my usual standards !

have fun reading. hope u’ll enjoy. lmk what u think ! 💋

“oh, shit,” lucas muttered, slowing for a second before resuming his stride.

“what? what’s wrong?” mike asked, glancing at him. lucas locked his phone and shoved it into his back pocket.

the boys were on their way to a frat party a few blocks away, for once entirely ditching a car to walk there.

“el broke up with ethan,” lucas said with raised eyebrows.

mike almost faltered mid-step, a grin threatening to spread on his face.

el broke up with ethan.

he hadn’t attended a single pizza friday since the evening she brought ethan, the evening she managed to really get under his skin. it had been unbearable—a catalyst for everything that came after. he’d told himself staying away was for the best. less time around her meant fewer chances for her to irritate him, to make him angry just by existing in the same space.

but it wasn’t just anger. it was something worse.

since then, his nights had taken on a heavier routine; find someone, anyone, and sink in a haze of sex and sweat. the faces all blurred together, the names even more so. he’d never had this many hook-ups in a single month, never so repeatedly. each day was a new attempt to smother the gnawing ache in his chest, to bury it under layers of meaningless sex until he could finally forget completely—until he could forget himself.

but the more nights he spent with girls he can barely even remember, the emptier he felt.

every fleeting moment of pleasure left him more detached, more desensitized. he wasn’t sure he even felt anything anymore.

but that was the point, wasn’t it?

he wanted to stain his soul with these futile nights until there was nothing left of who he used to be. nothing left of the boy who once—

he almost shook his to shove the thoughts away, but he didn’t, he simply snapped back into the present moment.

the present in which she isn’t dating that fucker anymore.

he felt the grin on his lips now and instantly masked it with a sharp scowl.

what the hell?

there was nothing to grin about, he didn’t care whether she’s dating him or not. fuck that, he didn’t care about her.

what he cared about was not letting any more intruders and unwelcome people, like her and even worse, her boyfriend, be a part of his environment.

“shit, did she tell you?” dustin asked, his voice pulling mike back.

“no, max told me,” lucas replied. “we were supposed to go on a double date tomorrow, but guess that’s cancelled.”

mike’s stomach churned at that. a sneer tugged at the corner of his mouth, but he fought to keep his expression neutral. the idea of her weaving him into their group like he belonged made him angry. if she hadn’t broken up with him, would they have just… let him stay? would they have accepted him, even liked him?

“well, i’m gonna sound like a horrible friend,” dustin said, his tone unapologetic, “but i’m glad el broke up with him. she’s way too good for that boring guy.”

the others murmured their agreement, except for mike, who stayed silent.

“you think el’s okay?” will asked, concern written all over his face.

lucas shrugged. “i don’t know. it seemed like she liked him well enough, but she’ll be fine. it’s el we’re talking about.”

will chuckled softly. “you’re right.”

the frat house loomed ahead, its windows glowing with lights. music spilled onto the street, a bass-heavy rhythm that seemed to vibrate through the ground. dustin started to ramble about which drinking games he planned to win, lucas laughed as they passed through the doors and will shook his head affectionately.

mike trailed slightly behind—planning his night. he’ll find some girl whose name he probably won’t even know and add another meaningless fuck to his list.

over the past month, even tangled deeply with strangers, she had a way of creeping into his mind uninvited.

her image would momentarily flash behind his eyes, their latest argument ringing in his head, his chest still burning with the nail that poked it, and he’d spent the rest of the night trying to tear her out of his thoughts entirely.

she messed him up and he fucking hated her for it.

they stepped inside, the heat and noise quickly greeting them. the place was already packed, bodies swaying and grinding out-of-sync with the music. the air was thick with perfume, sweat, and the faint scent of spilled alcohol.

they walked further inside and just as mike was about to part ways with them to go on with his usual routine, he heard dustin.

“holy shit,” dustin said, stopping short. “guess we have our answer about whether she’s okay or not.”

mike turned instinctively, his eyes scanning the crowd—until they landed on her.

there she was, softly swaying in time with the music, her hips moving in a way that seemed effortless. max was at her side, both of them holding plastic cups that sloshed slightly with their movements. el threw her head back, laughing at something max said.

and then there was her outfit.

the shortest fucking skirt he’d ever seen.

his jaw tensed, his teeth grinding slightly as his gaze fell, completely unsolicited, tracing the length of her legs. the skirt hugged her hips, leaving almost fucking nothing to the imagination, paired with a low-cut top that revealed her cleavage.

he internally barked at himself to look away.

but it was like he was stuck, his eyes dragging back to her like a damn gravitational pull.

“yep, she’s fine,” lucas said, chuckling, but mike barely registered the words.

his chest felt tight as if his body was working against him. and then, it really did—a hot rush of blood surged downward, his body reacting before his brain could intervene.

he hissed under his breath, shifting uncomfortably, anger flaring like a shot of adrenaline through his veins. he clenched his fists at his sides, furious with himself, with her, with all of it.

for the first time in his life, he was turned on by her.

by her.

the thought alone made his stomach churn.

without saying a word, he turned and left, shoving past people without a second glance, his entire body taut. he didn’t care where he went—he just needed to be anywhere else, anywhere she wasn’t.

he grabbed the first beer he could find, holding it with far more force than necessary, and dropped into an empty chair in the corner of the room. his head fell back against the wall as he exhaled sharply, trying to will the heat out of his body.

the beer was cold in his hand, condensation dripping onto his fingers. he barely even noticed. he took a swing of the drink; trying to unentangle his thoughts from circling back to her to get rid of the annoying reaction of his body.

“hey, mind if i join you?”

a sweet and unfamiliar hit his ears. he looked up, only half-surprised to see a girl standing in front of him already, one hand on her hip and the other clutching a cup.

she was blonde, her long hair cascading in loose waves over her shoulders with a playful smile on her lips.

“sure.” he said after a beat, gesturing vaguely to the seat beside him.

instead of taking the chair, she perched on the armrest, leaning just slightly toward him. “i’m not even going to pretend like i don’t know you. you’re mike, right?”

his eyebrows raised in surprise, “depends on who’s asking.”

she laughed, “cass,” she said, offering her hand. “that was a little creepy of me, sorry. but i’ve heard from you through marie.”

he had no idea who marie was. someone he went to class with? someone he hooked up with before?

he didn’t let it show on his face through, he took her hand in his and shook it briefly. “nice to meet you, cass.”

she didn’t pull away immediately, her fingers lingering against his. “i’ve seen you at a few parties before,” she said, tilting her head. “you always seem… busy.”

he raised an eyebrow. “busy, huh?”

she shrugged, her smile widening. “busy enough that i couldn’t approach you before.”

there it was. just what he came here for in the first place, exactly the distraction he needed.

“i don’t know what you mean.” he joked.

her laughter came easily, her confidence filling the space between them. it wasn’t long before she slid into his lap, her hand resting on his shoulder as if she’d done it a hundred times before.

“hmm, i might show you as the night progresses," she said, her tone triumphant.

“you’re trying to keep me busy for the whole night then?” he smirked, his hand settling instinctively on her waist.

they fell into easy conversation, her asking questions about him—where he was from, what he was studying—and throwing in flirty comments every chance she got. he played along, deflecting with dry humor, some flirty comments and half-truths, giving just enough to keep her interested.

when their drinks ran out, she pouted, shaking her empty cup. “now what? the conversation was just getting good.”

mike stood, easing her off his lap with care. “i’ll grab us some more.”

“such a gentleman,” she teased, watching him with a pleased smile. “don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

he winked at her before making his way through the crowd and headed toward the kitchen. the noise dimmed slightly as he entered the space, the counters were cluttered with bottles, cups, and spilled liquor. he ignored the mess, grabbing two cups from the stack and scanning the scattered bottles of half-empty liquor.

he’d just reached for a bottle of rum when someone collided into him from behind, nearly sending him into the counter.

“watch where the hell—” he started, turning sharply.

his words died down when he saw her.

her hair was slightly tousled, cheeks flushed, and her eyes gleamed drunkenly. she was holding a cup that sloshed dangerously close to spilling over, but her grip was steady enough.

“oh, it’s you,” she drawled, her lips curling into a smirk. “and here i was about to thank the heavens, thinking you’d finally vanished.”

mike clenched his jaw, every nerve in his body flaring like she’d flipped a switch. “get the fuck out of my eyesight.”

she raised an eyebrow, taking a deliberate sip from her drink. “damn, directly biting today, huh? what’d i do to piss you off this time, do tell.”

“i’m not in the mood to even look at you today.” he snapped, his voice low but sharp. “i mean it, hopper, why aren’t you leaving already?”

she stepped closer, just enough for him to catch the faint scent of her perfume and sweat. “because the drinks are here, asshat. and i can stay wherever i want, whenever i want. what makes you think i care about your wishes?”

his hands flexed, he quickly turned back to the bottles, pouring a generous amount of rum into one of the cups. “jesus christ, you really are fucking annoying. bother someone else.”

her laugh was mocking. “bother you? please, you give yourself too much importance. personally, i had the time of my life without you around these past pizza fridays. but the guys miss you.” she took a sip, twisting her lips into comical disbelief. “for whatever reason.”

“what the hell are you talking about?”

“you know exactly what i’m talking about.” she leaned against the counter beside him, her smirk widening. “you don’t have to avoid pizza fridays anymore. ethan won’t be there anymore. you won’t bump into him again.”

his hand tightened on the cup as he glanced at her, a mocking laughter spilling out of him. “shit, that’s what you think? i wasn’t concerned about bumping into your little boyfriend, i couldn’t give a fuck less.”

“oh?” she tilted her head, her eyes narrowing slightly. “then it was about bumping into me?” she tsked. “oh, wheeler. it’s so cute that you still think you’ll be able to get rid of me that easily. i’ll always be around, i don’t care how much you wish i weren’t.”

he glared at her, taking a step forward like a string pulling him towards her. his blood was running hot in his body, this girl—everything about her was so fucking infuriating. “you think everything’s about you, don’t you?”

she shrugged, feigning innocence. “only when it is.”

he slammed the cup down on the counter with more force than necessary, the sound cutting through the tension like a knife. “and you had the nerve telling me i’m egotistical? someone has to hold a fucking mirror in front of you.”

“we’re talking about having a nerve now?” her tone dripped with venom and mockery. “rich coming from someone who told me i’d never get another chance at love if i didn’t lock ethan down but sure, yes, i had the nerve and i’d say it again.”

she took another step closer, her fingers rising again to land on his chest to get the words through his skull. “you are fucking egotistical.”

as her finger jabbed against his chest, he could feel the blood rushing to his head and, shit, towards his cock like a damn masochist. heat was building beneath his skin that had nothing to do with the alcohol he’d consumed. she was relentless, her words hitting with the precision of a dagger.

she smiled sweetly then, tapping his chest with her palm twice before retreating. his body felt on fire, his reaction to her utterly nonsensical.

“but since i don’t seem to have another shot at a relationship,” she sarcastically said, her eyes gleaming with something pointy. “maybe i’ll just take a page out of your book and find someone to fuck. rebound sex kind of sounds good, doesn’t it?”

the bluntness of her words caught him off guard, hitting him like a punch to the chest. his jaw tightened, and he opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, a pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

“you’re taking too long!” the girl’s—fuck, what was her name again?—voice vibrated between his shoulder blades. her tone was dripping with flirtation as she leaned into him, craning her head to brush her chin over his shoulder.

el’s expression shifted, her lips parting slightly in surprise before curving into a loose grin.

“how unsurprising.” she said, her voice airy. “guess i need to hurry before you beat me to it then.”

his heart was pounding loudly in his chest, a snarl stuck in his throat.

she pushed off the counter, slowly walking away but not before sparing him a last glance, her lips curved into an ironic pout. “what a shame, if you weren’t such an ass, i might’ve actually wanted to see what all the fuss is all about.”

mike stared at her, his chest tight with frustration and anger. before he could say anything back, she disappeared back into the crowd, leaving him with the girl’s arms around him and a knot of anger coiled in his chest.

he was about to fucking explode.

his chest was tight, his breathing shallow, and every nerve in his body was on edge. the blonde—carrie? cassie?—pressed against him, her lips grazing his neck, but it felt distant, like he was outside of his body.

none of it worked.

and it wouldn’t.

not when she was still in his head, pounding at his temples like a goddamn headache that wouldn’t go away.

he clenched his jaw, exhaling sharply as he pulled away. “sorry.”

the girl blinked up at him, confusion flickering in her eyes. he scratched the back of his neck, guilt prickling at him, but he didn’t have the patience to deal with it right now. “i’m not feeling well. i think i need to head out.”

her brows furrowed as she tilted her head. “you look flushed,” she said, her tone laced with concern.

“yeah, maybe the flu.” he muttered.

or maybe it was the goddamn virus in the shape of her.

she hesitated, clearly waiting for him to say something more. instead, he gave her a tight smile. “i’ll find you at another party, okay?”

the words felt hollow, and the moment he said them, he knew she saw right through him. she nodded stiffly, stepping back, but he didn’t bother asking for her number or for another way for them to reconnect. he just turned and pushed through the crowd, barely registering the music or sweaty bodies as he stormed out.

the cool night air quickly wrapped around him as soon as he was outside, but it wasn’t enough to clear the heat inside his body.

his steps quickened, each one pounding against the pavement as though he could leave this entire night behind him if he just moved fast enough.

by the time he reached his dorm, his breathing was ragged, his pulse thrumming in his ears. he slammed the door shut behind him, leaning against it as he let his head fall back with a frustrated groan.

it felt like his body itched beneath the surface he couldn’t scratch, no amount of air he inhaled was enough, every breath felt useless.

he was suffocating and he’d had fucking enough.

with a sharp exhale, he ripped off his shirt, tossing it aside as he made his way into the bathroom. his hands fumbled with his belt, yanking his jeans down and kicking them down in one swift motion.

he stepped into the shower, turning the knob until icy water fell down his overheated skin.

the cold refreshed him, sending a shiver down his spine and he groaned. he braced one hand against the tiled wall, willing to let the water do what nothing else could—cool him down, body and mind.

but it wasn’t enough.

because every time he shut his eyes, he saw her behind his closed eyelids.

that damn skirt. that damn body.

in utter frustration his palm collided with the tiled walls, the sound echoing in the shower box.

he fucking hated her. he hated everything about her.

but he hated the fact that he couldn’t deny the obvious the most.

she was attractive.

it grated against him, that particular truth, scratching at the edges of his pride. she was fucking annoying, an absolute headache and fucking gorgeous at the same time.

admitting it—even in the secrecy of his own mind—felt like a betrayal to himself.

grunting something between defeat and anger, he simply closed his eyes and wrapped a hand around his erection.

the visions of her came back flooding, as if his body had been waiting for him to revel into the thought of her this whole time.

he didn’t waste a moment, his movements were frantic and angry, almost as if he was hate-fucking her instead of his fist.

fuck her for being inside his head.

fuck her for being so annoying.

fuck her for getting under his skin so easily.

he tugged and pulled, his brain conjuring the most twisted images of her that it could—of her in that skirt, of her without that skirt, of her on her knees, of finally shutting her up with his fingers or with his dick.

his breathing turned ragged, one hand splayed on the tiled walls as his muscles went taut, moaning with the image of her legs spread wide open for him.

that was it.

his entire body shuddered, his breaths coming out as short pants when pleasure rippled through his body.

he finally managed to throw her out of his system.

well, for a moment.

because he still felt her crawling somewhere underneath, her annoying voice ringing inside his head.

he sneered, his eyes turning hard as he shook his head to himself.

no, she was out of his system and he wouldn’t allow for her to occupy his thoughts anymore, not even for a fucking moment.

tomorrow, he’ll be back to his old ways.

maybe he’ll even find the blonde again.

[graysparrowao3]

The 'Why You Suck' Speech

Saw a post about tropes and one was the 'why you suck speech'. When I wrote this I read it so many times I have it memorized lol.

Rugan's 'why you suck' speech to Aradin:

You’re a half-rate fighter and piss-poor leader. An arrogant shitstain that brings the average intelligence of this city down and the reason adventuring gets a bad rep. Everything you touch gets worse. Your people only follow you because they’ve no better option, then you get them killed. You’re a foul-mouthed, incompetent, violent waste of breath and they’ll bury you next to your worthless, vile old man because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You think you've made something of yourself because you're too stupid to see everyone laughing at your pathetic legacy.

Aradin's monologue response:

“Do you think you said anything I didn’t already know? I’m a colossal bellend, a fuck up beyond all measure? No one likes me and you used me to get off? Do you think that’s news to me? Do you think it’s gonna hurt my precious feelings any more than you already have?

            “Unlucky for you mate, I seem to be all desensitized to your rubbish. The world’s most unscrupulous knob wasn’t very nice? Shall I go and get the press? Next Baldur’s Mouth headline: Local Bastard Acts Like A Bastard. You talk like you’ve never purposely tried to wreck me before. I might not be the sharpest blade on the block but this is not my first time dealing with your particular brand of horseshite.

            “Let’s get some perspective, shall we? When we met, you wanted me to know my place so hard you wouldn’t even kiss me. Then you straight up held me down so you could feel like you owned me or some shite. Then there was the time you bloody railed me after… that time’s kind of fuzzy to be honest. Next you - and let’s not forget this - almost fecking killed me. Not to mention that one time you got me off like a damn megalomaniac, whatever the fuck that was supposed to be.

            “And I still gave you the coin you needed when you needed it. Because clearly you’ve done damage to my head, which probably wasn’t right to begin with. And off you went without so much as a word because that’s just who you are. And then look who shows up out of nowhere to take advantage of my time and bed because you know I ain’t gonna turn you down.”

            “And that’s the upstanding bloke who finally says it like it is. Who can rip me apart because you know every sore spot to really twist the knife. Tells me I’m so pissin’ unlikeable no one could ever want me, that always goes and ruins it every time it feels like it might not be so bad because we couldn’t possibly have that and Gods know I don’t deserve it.”

            “So yeah. Every last word you said is true. I am exactly what you said I am. Might be the first real thing out your damn mouth. But I’m still here after all you’ve put me through, you stupid fecking cunt. Do you think dressing me down is the worst you’ve done? Tell myself that crap everyday, mate.”

            “You must’ve forgotten: I know you talk shite out your bloody arse instead of saying what you damn well mean. So the real question here is, given all that, given that I’m all you said - hells, maybe worse even - if that’s what you actually think and you’re not just full of it you Gods damn lying, miserable bastard…”

            “Why the feck are you still here?”

From part 8 of the series.

[ierofrnkk]

Forget to Remember

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT!!!

William Tell & Reader

Summary: You wake up in William’s hotel room. You don’t make it out of there alive.

Warnings: 18+, gore (cutting, blood, removal of organs, death), restraints, knives, language. Reader’s gender and physical appearance aren’t specified

a/n: this is gross and bloody and weird. participating in @romana-after-dark DD December event !! title is from ‘forget to remember’ by mudvayne

You went out last night; celebrating something that seems so unimportant now. It all feels so far away.

You met someone you shouldn’t have.

He was mysterious, charming. He bought you a drink. That was your first mistake.

You wake up in a bed that isn’t your own. A motel room. Every piece of furniture is wrapped in a white sheet. It feels sterile, clinical—at the same time, it feels filthy, grimy. You feel a weight like stones in the pit of your stomach.

The weight sinks deeper when you realize that you’re restrained—arms and legs—strapped down to the bed.

You try to scream—you can’t. You’re gagged, a piece of fabric tied around your head and settled snugly in between your jaws.

He’s there, sitting in a chair across from the bed, watching you. You can’t take your eyes off of his face, trying to memorize every feature of him in case you make it out of here alive.

Tall—no, average height. Brown eyes. Grey hair, slicked back. He’s wearing the same clothes you saw him in last night—dress shirt, slacks. This time, though, he’s got latex gloves. Medical ones.

You feel sick to your stomach.

He watches as you wake up, struggle. There’s no emotion on his face. As sick as it is, you would’ve at least wanted to see him smile. Then, you could have the justification in your mind that he found this enjoyable.

But…nothing.

He stands from his chair, walking over to you. You’re afraid, panicking. He’s so calm. Why is he so calm?

The thought that he does this enough to be desensitized scares you even more.

Maybe this is just a weird sex thing, you think to yourself. Maybe I’m misunderstanding.

You’re still dressed, which offers you the tiniest bit of comfort. For now.

He’s at your side now, and you’re terrified. He reaches out, putting a hand on your sternum, right at the base of your throat.

“Quiet.” Is all he tells you.

You swallow roughly, nodding hurriedly in an effort to obey his every word. Maybe if you do everything he says, he’ll let you go; that’s all that you can think about, that this is some kind of power thing.

On the bedside table, there’s a pair of scissors, clearly brand new, and a knife. The sight alone makes your head fuzzy with anxiety, panic settling into that space behind your teeth and in the back of your throat.

He picks up the scissors. You struggle against the restraints, trying to break free, to get a hold of something to defend yourself, anything.

But you can’t.

“I used to do this for a living, did you know that?” He starts, his tone calm and low, like he’s talking to you about the weather.

The scissors cut through the hem of your shirt like a hot knife through butter. He continues to cut as he talks, acting as if this is the most normal thing in the world.

“Every fucking day, I saw so many guys who would come in, and just…never come out.” He shakes his head as he talks, clearly reminiscing about this all.

You have no fucking idea what he’s talking about, but you listen anyway, like his word is gospel.

It doesn’t take him very long to get your shirt cut open, the fabric pooling lamely on either side of your chest—you’re starting to understand that this probably isn’t some weird sex thing, and now have to come to terms with the fact that he is very likely going to kill you.

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat straight out of your chest; if you didn’t know any better, you’d think that he can hear it.

“So many young guys—soldiers—they didn’t know any better. Just following orders.”

He pauses, clears his throat. Sets down the scissors.

“They’re all dead now, so it doesn’t really matter what they were doing.”

For the briefest of moments, you swear you can see a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes as he talks, like the memory itself is fighting to keep some sense of morality in him.

It’s gone before you can even realize that it was there in the first place.

He picks up the knife, and that anxiety settles in your chest once again, flooding through your veins.

In any other circumstance, you’d say that it's a beautiful knife—polished wooden handle, slightly curved, razor-sharp steel blade. He likes this one, clearly a favorite of his.

You don’t know whether to feel honored or terrified.

He moves so sure, like every motion is practiced and certain.

There’s no hesitation when he presses the cold steel to your chest, right against your sternum; it slices through your skin with no resistance.

You scream, but your voice is so muffled by the gag, that it ultimately doesn’t matter. You struggle against the restraints, but it feels like they only get tighter.

The blade trails from the point between your collarbones, down your chest, and stops just past your navel. Your adrenaline is pumping, and you can feel the way your blood pools on your skin.

“It was going on for so long, I got numb to it,” he continues, seeming to just talk mindlessly as he takes you apart, piece by piece.

“Stopped caring about what I was doing; I got sloppy.”

Two more cuts, parallel to your collarbones and meeting with the cut he’s already made.

He’s opening you up, like a cadaver to be autopsied.

Your adrenaline is pumping so hard that you can barely even feel it anymore; your eyes are wide, tears spilling out and down your face as you watch this man—if you can even call him that—cut you open in such a way.

You’ve resigned yourself to the fact that you’re going to die, right here, in a shitty motel room.

The blade cuts through your body so easily, the metal clearly so razor sharp that it meets no resistance when it meets your muscle tissue.

Gloved fingers tuck beneath the layer of skin and muscle that protects your organs, pulling them away like he’s unwrapping a gift. Your head is spinning—dizzy and trembling from the adrenaline and the fear. The pain.

“Spent a long time trying to forget a lot of the things I did when I was there.”

You can barely even hear him anymore; it all sounds so distant, your brain going into overdrive trying to protect you from this.

His hand skims across your internals—your stomach, your intestines, your liver. His touch is almost reverent. In some sick, grotesque way you feel flattered.

Like you were good enough for him.

You can’t see where he brings the knife, but you know it’s somewhere inside; you’ve gone numb from the adrenaline, so you’re just a helpless bystander now in your own murder.

You feel the pressure of the cut; he pulls away with your large intestine in hand, and sets it down on the sheet beside you, staining the white fabric red.

It feels clinical, like a biologist taking apart an animal for research.

“I spent so long trying to push all that away, that—“ he pauses, chuckling to himself.

“—that I almost forgot how good I am at this.”

You watch him as he continues to work, eyes glassy with tears, the adrenaline flooding your veins and making this feel more and more like a terrible nightmare than your horrifying reality.

Your small intestine is next, cut away from all the connective tissues and set out on the sheet as well. A small part of you feels bad for the poor housekeeper that will probably come across your eviscerated corpse.

Your liver. Your stomach. All cut away and set down beside you.

Somehow, he hasn’t managed to get any blood on himself besides the blue latex gloves, which have been stained thoroughly with your own blood.

This is transactional to him, he’s treating it like any other day.

You watch him dumbly as he works, filled with too much shock and adrenaline to do much else anymore. You know you’re going to die.

He seems to appreciate that.

“Thank you,” he tells you, and it’s bittersweet.

He brings a hand up, resting it on your cheek; a bloodied thumb wipes away some of your tears.

The moment of tenderness lingers, and a small part of you is grateful for that.

He moves, knife in hand, and presses the blade to the untouched skin of your arm, slitting your wrist. He does the same to your other wrist. Blood pours from the cuts, seeping into the fabric of the once-pristine white sheets.

He’s mercy-killing you, if you can even call it that.

You can feel the blade press against your throat, and your heart flutters weakly in your opened chest. You’re already faint from the adrenaline and the removal of your organs, but this helps.

Putting you out of your misery.

He presses down, and the blade cuts through easily, severing the artery in your throat. Thick, dark blood pours from your neck and soaks the sheets, the mattress.

You swear that you see him smile, just barely, before your vision blacks out.

—

Not going to do my usual taglist.

[bahllinsqrews]

It’s me, 🪽anon 👋 I wanted to tag @inkysocker in this too so I hope they see this. (If not I’ll send it to them too.)

I agree with you and @inkysocker’s posts on the Ni-ki situation exactly. People have the right to disagree with writing smut about Ni-ki-that’s their opinion and they 100% have the right to feel that way-but if they don’t like it, they should block it and move on. Jungwon is only a year older than Ni-ki and people have been writing smut about him for a long time, and no one bats an eye. Why is there such a double standard? People argue saying “Ni-ki just turned 18”. So, I’m curious to ask them-what exactly is the right time to start writing it by -your- standard? If people wait 3/4/5 months, it would be fine? I don’t get it. And why do people have to abide by -your- standard? It comes off as one of the biggest instances of virtue signaling I’ve ever seen

Look, I watched i-land too. Ni-ki quickly became my favorite because of his talent, sense of humor, humility and kindness-believe me, I’m protective of him too. I get it if some people can’t see him as an adult now because they’re having a hard time separating who he is now from who he was then. But the reality is, he’s growing up and he’s not a little kid anymore. Of course he’s still young and still has his innocent side but he’s certainly not as innocent as some people think he is-because they don’t think about him as a real person, they only see the perfect image that he chooses to show us. And I can understand why. I know kpop companies warp and mold idols’ images into what they want them to be seen as and it’s easy to forget that, once you become a fan and you’re deep in it. I feel like I get lost in it too sometimes. I’ll be honest, I lost my virginity at 17 and was thinking about sex long before that. If people think Ni-ki doesn’t have sexual thoughts like a normal 18 year old, they seriously need to be realistic. In addition, if people think he isn’t trying to shed his “cute”/“baby” image, they really need to get a grip too. Of course he’s still the youngest member-but this year (and esp lately) if you just look at the pictures he himself chooses to post and the tik-toks/dances he himself chooses to do you can tell he’s trying to be more serious and mature.

I have been so absolutely disgusted with the hate and vitriol I’ve seen towards people who have written anything nsfw for Ni-ki or who have talked about doing it. They literally have people telling them to k¡ll themselves, s1it, jump etc. it’s so, so sickening, not to mention triggering. It’s not funny/edgy and cute to tell someone to harm themselves or k¡ll themselves when someone posts something you don’t like-and people just say it like it means nothing. If you can’t properly articulate your stance and express your feelings about something without telling someone to k¡ll themselves, it makes you seem ignorant, immature, and honestly too lazy and vacuous to do so. It certainly does not make you seem like the better person. I know the people saying these things are young and callow but it is so hard to see. They don’t understand the weight their words hold. They have no idea what others are going through and how the recipients of their hate will react to being told to k¡ll/harm themselves. I think about how they would feel if someone actually killed themselves because of the hate they gave them and I would hope that they would actually feel sorry and ashamed but it seems like they’re so far in their narcissistic bubble with their moral grandstanding and so grossly desensitized to saying it in normal conversation that they’d be like “whatever” or “good, they deserved it”. These people are seriously not as edgy and cool as they think they are. They’re immature, twisted, and toxic. Seriously, they give me sociopath vibes. They really think they *hold the torch of wisdom and morals* meanwhile they’re telling someone to s1it their wrists and k¡ll themselves. Make it make sense. In reality, they seem like worse people than the ones they send hate too. And they’re also calling people fat and ugly and fatherless (😀?) when all else fails lmao. What is this, the 4th grade? I’d laugh if I wasn’t so disgusted. Like pls….you’re not funny 💀 Definitely exposes their elementary school/middle school selves, you can really tell how young they are when they respond in that way. Like if you don’t like it, block it. Yet instead they choose to go out of their way to send kys messages…. I can’t fathom how telling someone to k¡ll themselves makes you a better person than them.

It just makes me sick and sad honestly. I’m glad you’re strong because ik you’re probably getting a lot of hate for what you’re doing, but you always respond to it in a mature way, when you do choose to respond to it. Yeah, always feel free to delete as many hate messages as you want, don’t even give them attention. I hope it doesn’t get to you too much and I hope you’re doing well and continue to do well. Just know you’re definitely not alone and have a lot of people who feel the same way. 🩷 And I already talked about the people who send hate to you and others and the kind of people they really are.

(Sorry it was so long-I have a lot of thoughts about this)

This exactly sums up what everyone needs to hear. And a lot of people would agree without hesitation, I have screen shots of people insulting me in my Dms and comment sections and this just embodies what I am trying to get across. STAY IN YOUR CORNER OF TUMBLR!!

[chaoticxbeast]

Highway to the friendzone. Leo has a broken heart but it´s movie night.

Content: Heartache and some comfort

Leo made his way home, after his talk with April. It was so odd to him how this morning he had woken up with her in his mind, feeling so bright and hopeful, and happy to begin his day. But now, the thought of April made him feel like a complete loser.

The sting of rejection was perhaps the most painful part right now. But another of his worries was also how he was going to keep his promise and continue hanging out with her together with the guys. Would that even be possible without things getting weird?

He was nearly back home, and he felt his phone buzzing in the pocket on his belt. He stopped to look, and as he had assumed, it was April, asking if he was okay.

Leo didn’t feel like answering, but there was something in his core that drove him to. His sense of obligation to others was sometimes so annoying. "Hi. :) Yes, I´m fine! Going home! Movie-night with the guys. Wish you could come!"

He paused, about to hit send, but erased half the sentence, and hit send, and the pain of not including her, as well as not wanting to see her, felt like it was tearing his heart apart.

Back home, the guys were already watching a movie. Leo walked past them quietly his shoulders slumped.

Mikey lit up at the sight of Leo, but when Leo looked over, Mikey’s smile faltered, replaced by a worried frown. "Leo..?" He said softly.

Donnie looked up next, spotting the concern in Mikey, and also picking up on the weight in Leos demeanor. "It’s..movie night. Remember?"

"Leo’s hanging out with April instead of us." Raph said, missing the mood completely.

"No...I..wanna watch a movie with you guys." Leo said, and made his way over to sit with them.

Mikey kept his eyes fixed on Leo’s face, and suddenly got an awful feeling something was wrong. "Why do you look like someone..died."

Now everyone was looking at Leo, seated in the middle of the group

"What? No I’m just.." Leo sighed. "What are you watching?"

"Some boring romantic movie Don picked." Raph said.

"It’s not boring." Don retorted. It’s better than your pick!"

"Battle royale is a classic."

"All that senseless violence is desensitizing your brain, Raph. It’s triggering mirror neurons, you know what that does?" Donnie said.

"Yeah, I don’t care."

Leo wanted to say something. Something fair, something to solve the conflict. But he didn’t. His phone buzzed and he didn’t do anything about that either, and Mikey thought that was pretty odd.

"Can we please just finish the movie? There’s like... ten minutes left," Don said, his tone pleading.

Raph waved him off dismissively, clearly uninterested.

"Good so," Don continued, trying to explain it to Leo in a simple way. "it’s about this girl who has memory loss. She forgets him every day, which is kinda funny! And this guy, who’s in love with her, decides to just be her friend so he can see her every day."

"He does that... every day?" Leo asked, his voice quiet, a note of disbelief in it. The striking similarity between the movie’s plot and his own heart-wrenching evening hit him like a wave.

"Yeah uh he.. hangs out with her, because he’s in love with her. But she doesn’t love him back, blah blah blah." Raph continued.

"Oh." Leo felt his eyes well up, but tried to keep cool. "That must feel..so..awful." He said, and bit his lip, bowing his head. And then, tears began flowing freely down his face, and a loud embarrassing heart-wrenching sob tore through his throat.

"Well, now you know the ending and...." Raph lost his train of thought at the strange sound and just stared in disbelief at Leo and his grimace that contorted his face to the point where he almost couldn’t recognize him.

"What’s wrong bro?" Mikey said, and put an arm around Leo. "The story’s not that sad.."

"It’s April." Leo said, and pulled his knees up, hugging himself. "She doesn’t..like me back." His voice broke, fading into a weak trembling whisper.

"OH noooo broooo.." Mikey said softly, and patted Leo’s trembling back, grimacing at Raph and Donnie, as if not knowing what to do. Raphael and Don looked just as clueless, but they surrounded their brokenhearted brother, looking equally concerned.

"But you are so cool...and everything.." Mikey began, looking to his brothers for help.

Don agreed. "Yea...the coolest.."

Raph hesitated for a beat. "Yeah um..maybe you used to be kind of a dork. But you´re getting a lot cooler." he said casually.

Donnie gave him a look like he’d lost his mind, and Mikey’s jaw dropped in exaggerated shock.

"But you are cool now!" Raph added quickly, a bit too loudly. "And... getting cooler every day." He nodded, satisfied with his save.

"Thanks.." Leo peeked up at them, before he buried his face in his knees again.

They all paused for a moment, and Leo gave a loud frustrated sigh. "What was I thinking!!...I feel so DUMB !"

The three others all disagreed the same time, shaking their heads. "Nooo..You’re smart. "So smart.." "Yeah just look at your grades man..You get all A’s.." "Yeah. Sooo smart."

There was another pause, before Mikey said, carefully. "So..uh Did you tell her you liked her?"

"Kinda..I guess." Leo said, voice muffled, face buried against his knees.

At that point, all of them wondered if April was going to hang out with them again. She was such a great friend, she was their first human friend, and they all loved her, and they’d become like family by now. It felt like they had known each other for years already. It was kind of weird, to get so close with a human, this fast, but they really had a great connection. None of them wanted their friendship to go up into smoke.

"So..Are you still friends?" Mikey asked, carefully, as if he was asking for everyone.

Leo finally straightened up in his seat, dragging his sleeve across his face to wipe away the remnants of tears and snot.

"Gross..the hoodie.." Donnie mumbled.

Leo managed a brave smile. "Yeah. Actually, she really wants to hang out with us. She said she likes you guys a lot."

His brothers exchanged a glance, their hearts aching at the sight of Leo’s smile—a smile that held so much resilience despite everything. In that moment, all they could think about was how strong he seemed.

"She likes you too, Leo. " Donnie said softly. "She’s like..part of the family."

"She doesn’t deserve you, man," Raph added.

"Yeah you’re awesome Leo." They all agreed in unison, again.

Leo smiled faintly. "I don’t feel awesome, but... thanks." He glanced around at his brothers, their unwavering kindness and support already making him feel so much better. "Actually, I think she’s worried we’re not gonna hang out anymore. Do you guys still feel like it’s okay to hang out with her? I mean, I do."

Raph shrugged casually. "Well, as long as you feel okay about it."

Don and Mikey nodded in agreement.

"I do," Leo said, the confidence in his voice growing. "She sent me a text, and I haven’t answered yet, so… let’s send her a selfie."

It didn’t take much convincing. They crowded together, Leo settling in the middle, his puffy, red eyes softened by a small, genuine smile. Mikey threw an arm around Leo and posed dramatically as if bawling his eyes out, while Don struck a goofy face. Raph grinned wide, flashing a peace sign and sneaking bunny ears behind Don’s head.

Leo hit send, and felt relieved when April hearted the picture almost instantly. "She says hi." Before he could relish the moment, however, the guys took it as an excuse to dogpile him.

"Nooo!" Leo yelped, coughing as he was buried under a tangle of arms and legs. "Get off me!"

Their laughter echoed through the lair. and then, they all knew then that no matter the sadness they were to face out there, as brothers they would always be there for each other.

[hesitantvampirealien]

if i may explain a bit of the psychology behind the backlash, i think it’s because people have gotten paranoid about media they enjoy

i think that because of the critical re-evaluation of so many pieces of media, people- and mcr fans in particular- have become worried their favorite pieces of media or favorite bands are “problematic” in some way. they don’t want to let their guard down because what if the media they like IS problematic and they’ve been liking something bigoted all this time? no one wants to seem like someone who willfully pretends that everything problematic in a piece of media doesn’t exist because “it’s good”.

so mcr fans criticize the band any way they can. they try to find parts that are problematic so they can be critical, and not seem like a “crazy obsessed fan who thinks the band can do no wrong”. the whole ticketmaster thing was just fuel to the fire.

and i will say that yeah, mcr DID (and sometimes still does) do some weird and sometimes problematic shit, but that shouldn’t damper your enjoyment of the band. as an mcr fan, i’ve learned to take the good with the bad and enjoy the band for what it is. i’m not defending all of their behavior, but i still enjoy their music and their activism against homophobia and transphobia.

anyway yeah. that was my rant. if this was cringe, let me know and i’ll apologize lol

no i see what you mean, it's not cringe.

In addition to that, the thing is that, well - I was gonna say "i hope it doesn't sound like I'm trying to be an apologist" but fuck it I don't really give a shit what they're gonna think i am, not when i know that what I'm gonna say isn't wrong - when you're a human being producing art which is basically content based on the things that make you human, it's very unlikely, if not impossible, that everything you'll produce is always gonna be flawless, or always reflecting something good about you. People forget that art needs humans to exist and vice versa, and our brains are poisoned with things we shouldn't think about each other and ourselves. Sometimes that just happens to be visible, specially when you're a well known artist. Truth be told, if those anti-fans knew how awful of a person i was in my early teen years, they would be making an insane effort to make sure I'd end up killing myself. They would never recognize my humanity, they'd never see a person who grew up in an environment that lead me to repeating that awful behavior that i was forced to endure and ended up accepting as a norm. They would never do that, to them I'd be nothing but a really massive inconvenience wasting the oxygen that i would be unworthy of breathing.

I met amazing people in this fandom, and those are the same people those anti fans (I'll call them anti fans because it's just easier and, cmon, it just makes sense) absolutely despose because they, well.. we would be falling into crazy hardcore fan territory. Tell ya what, i prefer being in the hardcore fan territory who's too forgiving than being in the same territory of people who say they would never want to meet gerard because they'd want to hurt them and who make me feel like I'd never be welcome. Specially with my disorder that makes it really hard for me to have a good relationship with people and just the act of socialization in general. It's already hard for me, and my disorder along with my past make it harder because I'm still growing and learning and unlearning things, and I'm incredibly desensitized to a lot of shit. To give you an idea of how far it goes, i thought of tattooing Gerard's knife speech because it genuinely felt exactly like what i feel all the time. Who do you think will be more welcoming? people who are a little too forgiving or people who are actively hunting a reason to treat you like shit?

[animeyanderetalker]

Not including Chrollo or Hisoka, which six Phantom Troupe members do you headcanon as most likely to be yandere (ranked from least likely to most likely)?

I’m not including Bonolenov or Kortopi in here and instead included Illumi.

6.

I was debating between putting him or Pakunoda in last place but went with him because I think he is more social and friendly to people outside of the Phantom Troupe in comparison to Pakunoda and Machi who didn’t make the list. He’s last place though because despite being desensitized towards violence he would be a pretty conscious and cautious about falling in love with someone because he is aware of the implications and possible consequences that this might have on his darling.

5. Feitan

Feitan is above all an unapologetic sadist who is absolutely gruesome as the interrogator of the Phantom Troupe and he would be strictly in denial about his own feelings. I think it’s this phase of denial that would give him and you equally much trouble because you’re stuck with him whilst he is going to be livid about the fact that he can’t make up his mind about you. Once he has begrudgingly acknowledged his own feelings though, he’ll just do whatever he wants.

4. Uvogin

There are few things in life that are more thrilling for Uvogin than the joy and rush he feels whilst fighting people. He’s literally someone who isn’t thinking stuff much through and is just going with his instincts. Because fighting is one of the few joys he has been able to experience in life so far together with the bond he has with the other members, I do think that it would take someone that really catches his interest plus additional time for him to realize that he’s in love. As soon as that realization has hit though, there’s a new rush pumping through his veins and just like with most things, he isn’t going to think stuff through very much.

3. Shizuku

I don’t have much to say about her besides with what I have already said about her the last time. As forgetful as she is, her darling is going to be pretty much screwed once they actually manage to stay on her mind. That is such an achievement and since they are going to be one of the few people she can actually recall all of the time, she’s bound to think about them a lot which quickly goes down the wrong road. The biggest threat I see here is the fact that Shizuku might have a thing for even making up memories that aren’t even real yet she believes they are.

2. Shalnark

He is undoubtedly one of the most apathetic members but just like I’ve already mentioned before, if he is ever going to catch feelings for someone he will go quickly very obsessive. He is fully aware of the atrocities he’s committing all the time and he has never felt anything for others before so if there is ever going to be a person that manages to make him feel, he will grow very obsessive with the need to know everything so he can know why it is that specific person.

1. Illumi Zoldyck

Illumi is already pretty much a very obsessed individual, especially towards his younger brother Killua. Whatever he has going on with his darling though is going to be so much more intense because Illumi is going to act the moment he has realized the spark his darling ignites in his chest. Twisted fascination and the constant control will be very unpleasant as Illumi basically wants surveillance on his lover every single minute and feels entitled to own them and by extension to also know everything about them.

[dream-critical]

haiii :) okay so this is a bit off-topic for the present discourse but i just discovered this account and wanted to anon air some thoughts ive been having about This Fuckin Guy. its all probably been said before in some capacity, but yeah (tws for grooming, SA allusion) 

the way dream has taken advantage of his fame is genuinely so fascinating. re: dnf, rpf of internet creators is obviously not a new thing online (also wrt lack of boundaries between a fan community and creator) but i’ve never seen a creator encourage their own sexualization the way he has. i used to think it was hysterical the way he publicly liked fanart of himself which clearly played into his conceit of being hyper-masculinized beside a hyper-feminized george. but again, after the grooming allegations dropped, it was hard not to see this behaviour in an even more sinister light than just that he’s an egotist who’s making money off of marketing his own fetishization. like it reminded me that behind all that fanart and fanfic were mostly young girls (a fact which is very Focal in the discourse), so what are the chances that played into his “enjoyment” of it. 

desensitizing a victim to sexual contact is a major grooming tactic. putting it this way, he was basically cultivating a massive following of young (most underage) girls, “mass-groomed” to view him sexually and thereby predicate inappropriate sexual exchanges on an individual level as we saw him do on snapchat. with the way he’s infantilized by fans (but also by antis who, reasonably, call him out as a juvenile idiot) its easy to miss how this man’s career seems engineered to be a tremendous abuse of power against vulnerable young people. and its crazy because I feel like its on a level and in a medium which is heretofore unexplored; unbreached by law or comprehensive understandings of what “violence” and “abuse” can entail when it takes place in online communities such as this.  

needless to say, as an ex-dsmp fan, im still transfixed by the goings-on of the community. i wish outsiders didn’t so often discredit the situation as “mcyt cringe” or trivial discourse among teenage stans who “deserve it” for falling in with this shitty guy. i feel like we’re watching a massive group be Actively Victimized, but its getting caught up in vitriolic alliances on the discourse front. like gen q, is it more constructive to indict dnf fangirls as individual perverts, or to indict the man at the centre of the cult of personality which enabled this behaviour to set the stage for his abuse/manipulation/etc.? 

anyway. hope this qsmp situation finally fuckin shoots his career in the foot cause i’m getting tired of praying on his downfall. 

(and thanks for running this blog. it must be draining, hope you’re taking care of yourself :) )

im a veteran follower of dream discourse and i can honestly say every single time something big happens everyone think this will be the end of his career. surely this has got to be the breaking point.

but it never is. and maybe it never will be. for the exact reasons he is famous, his fanbase. like you said, though i wouldn’t say groom is necessarily the word, dream built his fanbase to be the way it is, loyal and unquestioning of him. as long as he has a substantial fanbase who will defend and follow him no matter what, it doesn’t matter what he does, there will never be a downfall because he’d repeatedly shot himself in the foot and then have his army of professional dick riders to heal it.

at this point, it would be more likely that dream eventually fade out. his fanbase will grow up, get older, more responsibilities, and eventually they’ll forget about him. and there won’t be a generation to follow them because dream’s content would start to become irrelevant to the soon-to-be teenagers who are his main demographics. in 1 to 2 years time, he’ll be a used to be big-shot mcytber who now averages 200k views per video and his content would have become so generalised that you wouldn’t be able to recognise him and neiltheminecraftgamer or some other mediocre typical gaming channel specifically targeting kids.

[m0tel6mxzzy]

home room (2002): a review [9.5/10]

film content warnings: gun violence, mentions of suicidal ideation, brief mention of self harm

so i was watching the movie home room (2002), it’s free on both youtube and prime video but also i think it’s a good movie about female friendship and collective trauma. i’m not spoiling to much abt the movie, but i will take what i admired from it.

the movie brings up gun violence and alicia (busy phillips) is surveilled by the cops bc of the stereotype goth = violent, and also deanna (erika christensen) is incredibly traumatized by the event and deals with survivors guilt and ptsd, and while finding a friend in alicia finds it hard to trust her because of how the cops are trying to get into her head. there are several scenes where an event that makes alicia laugh makes deanna cry or scream, because alicia is desensitized to her trauma while deanna is harboring intense physical reactions she expresses “will not stop,” so she has very little hope the doctors will ever let her leave the hospital.

there’s a very huge center on relationships between women and their shared experiences even when life is throwing opposition toward each other at them. and i also think that’s really the most beautiful thing a movie can do that’s focused on the women in it, the women do not have to agree with each other or like each other but at the very least value each other as human beings. and then alicia and deanna end up loving and having a deep bond despite how hard the trauma was for them both.

but also morality, fear of life and death, etc,. alicia and deanna are often butting heads due to their different approaches to handling shared trauma, but out of love come together and let down their walls.

i will say though the film brings up a very nuanced but brutal take on the repercussions of trauma, losing connection, and hopelessness. i have never seen a movie portray ptsd and depression, especially in women, so well. i think the way many women are socialized, that feeling of “why am i not feeling anything except for when it physically hurts” is very real.

i also think the approach is very human. at the end, survivors of the shooting are no longer “forced” into group therapy, but finally given agency, come willingly. they are able to talk about the knowledge that people will try to forget the event and make them act as if all is normal, their guilt, and having their feelings validated. and that sort of critiques the very narrow view in gun violence that there’s a sole cause to it such a video games or the way one dresses.

i do not believe this movie is something you would want to watch if such topics are sensitive for you, but i do think it tackles a very important and complex message with incredible dedication, nuance, and tact without treating the women in it as these romanticized objects of their trauma—even delving into why they portray themselves in this blockaded and hollow manner to cover up their true feelings. and that is a very hard thing to do. brilliant movie.