#sorry i always get carried away

[redheadlesbianfreak]

For the writer meme: 3, 7, 10, 26?

First of all, thank you for the ask and I'm sorry I'm only getting to this just now! I will answer to the best of my abilities.

3. I think all my writing rituals are very cursed. I'm still getting used to finding a good ritual for myself. Sometimes, I'll set a timer for myself and force myself to write for an hour. One of my creative writing professors said it's best to do this rather than stop because you can always fix it later (and you don't have to share what you write). Right now, I haven't posted to Ao3 for a while because I've been trying out different ideas for Futurama and new fandoms that I haven't posted. It's important to remember that's okay and you don't have to post everything you write.

I have to go to war with my brain, or at least, that's how I see it. I have a lot of ideas for several fandoms I've been a part of for years and I would say about 1% of them get written down, and even less than that will ever make it to Ao3. A lot of that is the result of a lack of skill/experience, poor time management, etc. but the biggest issue is that my brain constantly tells me "you can't." As in "you can't write this idea, you aren't good enough," or "this idea is bad and everyone will think you're an embarrassment." And yeah, I think this mindset is what holds me back the most, and proving myself wrong is the best way to get out of it. Sometimes, "just write" is the best way to get out of it rather than wasting time debating my brain.

7. My greatest joy is proving myself wrong, which is relevant to the third answer. In 2021, I convinced myself that I would never be able to write anything the length of a novel, which is something that I worked around in 2022. In 2022, I wrote a story that was 67k words to completion, that was coherent, and I was shocked. It's very short, but it's still the length of a novel. In 2023, I would like to push myself even further and try to write a story over 100,000 words. I know I can do it, as I got very close in 2022, but it's difficult.

Being able to write something to completion, and write something coherent that accomplishes what you set out to do is very difficult. But that difficulty and planning and passion make it unbelievably rewarding in the end. I'm not sure who is going to see this and read it, but you should be very proud of yourself for writing a complete and coherent story, no matter how long it is. That is a hugely difficult accomplishment in my eyes. I think we have the desire to create that pushes us forward, even in tough times, and I think that is a really beautiful fact about humanity.

10. This is an interesting one for sure. I think uncompleted WIPs are haunting, especially if you are in a stage where you aren't sure if you'll ever complete them. I mean, it feels like all that hard work is worthless unless you complete it, even if that's not necessarily the case. I think the experience is worth it because you're getting words down. You get to realize what went wrong. But it's still haunting. I think older works of writing can be haunting because you have the capability to do better now, but it's important to remember that they still hold value.

26. The best way to get into a character's head is to really understand their mindset and their goals within the story. If they are acting irrationally, the writer really needs to enforce that idea and make sure the reader understands why they are acting this way. And you should try to avoid explicitly telling the audience this, but you can give them cues through the character's self-reflection and the way other characters react to their actions. Writers need to make sure that character behavior is consistent throughout the story as well.

I do think that some people freak out over "staying in character" when it comes to fanfiction. I'm going to break something down. Every single fan and person has very different interpretations of each character in a given fandom. I've seen people who have wildly different interpretations from me. And honestly? I think they're completely wrong even if the majority of the fandom agrees with them. However, it doesn't mean my interpretation is correct or their interpretation is invalid, it just means that we interact with the fandom differently. And I would like to raise the point that shows and movies have different writers with their own interpretations of characters that they often write out of character.

Overall, I think it's most important for the writer to make sure their character writing is strong. Make sure their character writing is consistent rather than "accurate to canon" because someone is going to disagree with you no matter how many hours you spend trying to make sure your writing is "accurate to canon." But if you do want to get things accurate, my best advice is to read transcripts or TV Tropes pages for specific characters. Utilize fan wikis if you need to do so. Study how dialogue is written in canon and try to get your dialogue close to that.

My final point is that there will always be people who dislike your writing. It's a hard pill to swallow but you can't please everyone because that's impossible. So why not try to write what you want to see and please yourself? On the flip side, there will always be people who DO like your writing, so it's important to remember that. Learning how to trust yourself and your mind is the best way to grow as a writer. If you can't do that, you'll end up with a whole lot of nothing, and you can't get better if you write nothing.

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

i have a headcanon that like alastor can ACTUALLY sing and his voice sounds ACTUALLY good, how do you think vox would react to this??

Gay panic

But serious answer, it's popular fanon to think that Vox listens to Alastor's broadcasts, whether its occasional, often, or if he records them for later use. It's probably something he found out that way, working with the small radio he has sitting on his desk. Alastor almost always talks throughout his broadcasts, and when he plays music rarely it's like any other station and comes through clear as day; Vox still isn't sure how he does that, maybe Alastor just has the ability to pull music out of thin air or something. But this time Alastor is going off on a tangent and Vox isn't really paying attention much, something about his childhood or whatever. The words Alastor said processed shortly after, that he was explaining a song his mother used to sing to him in times of comfort. Of course, there's no proper recording for Alastor to play, so he sings the song from memory instead. And Vox is left staring at the small radio, work forgotten completely, a little bit stunned, because since when does the radio demon actually sing? I mean, it makes sense, but it's never happened before, so why now, and why does his voice sound as good as it does?

Anyway Vox did record that broadcast and plays it on loop for himself when he needs it as well because he's entranced by the sound and thinks about it way too often for his own good

[foursaints]

hi <3

first of all, i wanted to tell you i'm always stalking your blog (in a non creepy way) because i love everything about it. mostly i love how you use your big brain™️ to share some insanely detailed headcanons about some silly dead gay wizards (i mean that in the nicest way possible. i'm a little bit in love with you actually . anyway i'm digressing)

second of all, i wanted to know if you could share some of your thoughts about bartylily🤲🏻 because i'm fairly sure you're the main reason i'm hooked on them

much love <333

ANYTHING for bartylily... lately i've been attached to the idea of a college au where they're Rival Campus Radio Station Hosts.

barty is a spectacularly unmotivated senior who dropped out of a prestigious engineering degree to study practical SFX for horror movies instead. everyone has vague, peripheral knowledge of him after an incident where he was found passed out naked in the campus fountain. his apartment with the slytherins isn't technically a frat house but there's a structure in the kitchen affectionately referred to as the "Leaning Tower of Miller Lite" & barty has a nearly imperceptible crescent-shaped chip in his front tooth from a keg-standing mishap. he wears a lot of chains and has several john carpenter themed tattoos and he REEKS like cigarettes. so many pairs of mystery panties turn up in his laundry hamper that his housemates have started calling it the Lost And Found.

he has a deeply beloved & charmingly unpolished radio show in the primetime spot which mostly consists of him having his friends on, spotlighting terrible underground bands, and making drily ironical, beautifully mean jabs.

lily is an overzealous sophomore who's triple-majoring in three equally unmarketable degrees (it's, like, polisci & international affairs & communications) who's blessed with the gift of taking every single thing that happens on campus WAY too serious. she runs their Model UN like it's the navy. she's the RA who is always marching around her floor in a spaghetti-strap tanktop & bunny slippers with a scrunchie on her wrist, shaking her fist at people. there was a period following her breakup with james where she was literally reading Machiavelli for inspiration. she's right on the precipice of the cool-girl academic meltdown that will lead to Serious Character Growth, but she isn't quite there yet.

her well-made and well-researched radio show is relegated to the midnight timeslot, and even though all her friends listen to it she probably got into a spat with them for saying something along the lines of "obviously i dont care if its just YOU listening to it, remus!!!". she hate-listens to barty's show which she considers (lily voice) An Affront To Collegiate Journalism

they trade barbs at every function and absolutely nobody but the two of them takes their insane imaginary Radio Beef even remotely serious whatsoever. but it's dead serious TO THEM!!! lily is probably camping out in actual bushes with actual binoculars to sabotage his show, and the worst part is that it's actually working. she ISN'T obsessed with him (shut up!!!!!), and barty is mostly just aggravated on principle that the Uptight Lowerclassman Ruining His Life has such nice legs.

and they absolutely bone like crazy about it

[total-drama-brainrot]

Total Drama Psycho Noah AU, during the TDWT London Episode... What if Noah doesn't call the hidden Alejandro an eel, instead Alejandro and the other hidden Contestants saw Noah briefly showed his true insane colors to defeat the 'Ripper', with a big psychotic grin?... How would Alejandro feel about trying to bring up Noah's insane side, but Noah keeps denying it (and so does Owen, because Noah asked him to)? 😏

Psycho!Noah, under the assumption that he's alone with only Owen and the camera as his witnesses, going Full On Mania Mode on the Ripper? That's a fun thought.

I think, given the fact that he's on a Reality TV Show in the first place, this Noah would be upfront to the audience that he's... a little unhinged. Maybe he cracks a few jokes in the confessional (either during Island or World Tour) about his eccentricities, or maybe he really plays up the 'crazy' to paint himself as a wolf in sheep's clothing for the audience?

The second option there would probably work more in his favour, since him Just Being There would be a source of dramatic irony for the audience- something to keep people watching in anticipation, waiting for Noah's mask of mundanity to slip. He'd be 'good for ratings'.

I've decided that's the characterisation I'll go with. Psycho!Noah hides his true self from the contestants but, knowing that he'll be recorded 24/7, doesn't bother disguising himself for the audience- his nature will inevitably be exposed to them anyway, so why not cut out the middle man? At least this way, he gets the added pleasure of toying with the viewer's expectations.

-

So, given the fact that the only people he thinks are seeing him are people already in the know, what's stopping Noah from letting loose a little?

Nothing. Nothing's stopping him.

He and Owen step onto the double decker bus, the larger teen tiptoeing almost timidly onto the vehicle in his trepidation, whilst Noah follows casually behind him. He's a little disappointed, truly; horror themed challenges would be so much more interesting if they were, y'know, scary.

Luckily for him, things soon get interesting.

The shadowed figure of the Ripper drops from the ceiling with a thud behind Noah, assumedly crouched down on all fours like some sort of beast though it's hard to tell behind the inky, billowing cloak they're wearing. The motion would've been too fast for someone less capable to properly react to. Thankfully, Noah is very capable.

He pivots in place, catching the surprisingly fast arms of the Ripper before their taller frame can grapple him in his own deceptively strong grip, then forcibly bends the figure's arms until a sickening crack resounds through the bus's interior. The Ripper cries out a raspy animalistic shriek of pain, their forearms hanging uselessly limp out in front of them at awkward angles, and the clattering of something hitting the floor draws Noah's attention downwards. A knife, the Ripper's weapon of choice, gleams threateningly on the ground under the weak moonlight, having slipped from their incapacitated hand.

Well. That's certainly interesting.

Easing up his iron grip on the figure's disfigured arms, the cynic gingerly bends down to swipe the knife from the floor, then straightens back up triumphantly as he brandishes his new found weapon.

"Noah?" Owen's meek voice echoes from behind him. The bookworm tilts his head towards the other, who's fear-blown gaze is fixated on the sharp object in his unstable friend's unpredictable clutches.

The Ripper, momentarily subdued, continues to whine and groan in pain beside him.

"What's up, bud?" He responds, voice conversationally light and airy- a stark contrast to the Ripper's agonised gargles.

"Is- is that a knife?" The larger asks in a wavering tone. Noah isn't sure if it's the fear of himself with a sharp object, or the frankly pathetic display from the figure beside him, that's causing his best friend's hesitance. But he knows Owen- the big lug is a hardy sort, he won't stay scared for long.

"Hmm," Noah hums playfully, toying with the weapon in his grip. Feeble beams of moonlight shine and shimmer from it's blade, illuminating their surroundings in spectres of milk light, "Yeah, I think it is. Good eye, big guy."

A moment of tense silence passes between the two (somewhat ruined by the Ripper's incessant snivelling), before Owen's face splits into a shaky smile.

"Do you want to, uh, maybe, put the knife down?" He suggests.

Noah shifts his focus back onto the tool in his grip, theatrically ruminating over his friend's suggestion as he raises his free hand to his chin in a pondering motion, whilst his piercing gaze subtly flickers around the bus to locate the nearest hidden camera. He spins the knife in his hand thoughtlessly as he searches, deftly twirling and weaving the blade between clever fingers, sending spirals of light dancing through the darkness of their enclosure.

Once he's spotted the tell-tale red blinking light of a recording camera, he careens his whole body to face it. His features soften into a serene smile, highlighted by trickles of pale moonlight, as he addresses the camera.

"No. Not really. It's quite pretty. Don't you think?"

Noah waits a heartbeat, keenly listening for a response that'll never come from the recording device, before his smile splits into something wider. Something that splinters around the edges of his face and crumbles through his mask of tranquillity, revealing glimpses of wild delirium through its cracks. Similarly, his amusement-crinkled eyes widen with mania, irises contracting into pinpricks of molasses against the white of his sclera.

"And wouldn't it look a lot prettier... in a different colour?" The pessimist halts the spinning of the knife with a flick of his wrist, letting the question simmer in the stale air of the bus.

The Ripper, having finally regained their bearings, stumbles to flee from the bus.

Well. That's not very interesting, is it?

In the blink of an eye, Noah is suddenly nose-to-mask with them, holding the blade millimetres from the figure's neck almost tauntingly as he traps them against the fogged over glass of the bus driver's window, "Red would look really pretty."

"Noah," Owen whines petulantly, "we're supposed to capture the Ripper, not kill him!" As if to punctuate his point, the blonde tugs at the edges of the burlap sack he's carrying, shooting an imploring look towards his little buddy.

"Oh, I forgot. Silly me!" Noah exclaims jovially, smacking at his sizable forehead with his free hand. The Ripper beneath him whimpers at the motion.

-

In the First Class cabin, the majority of the Total Drama contestants stand gobsmacked at the display they just witnessed. Varying expressions of disturbance and fright are dotted across the crowd, and the more sensitive of the group have turned varying shades of nauseated green or horrified white.

"What the fuck?"

[not-the-living-ghost]

So Monty kisses a boy and gets rejected. He gets a sad ending, and the show doesn't get renewed. Right right... Alexa play The Story by Conan Gray

[crazysnakey]

Something something about the Third Doctor and the fate of Tantalus. You're trapped in one place. Everything you want, that you once took for granted is right there in front of you, you can see it you can reach for it but you can never have it. You will never attain it on your own. Your fate is dependent on the mercy or cruelty of others and you hate it and you rage against it but you can’t do anything, your defiance is treated like nothing but a childish tantrum but you refuse to beg, you won’t get that desperate no matter how long you’re trapped here, no matter how low you’re brought down. You stand among humans and you look human but you’re not, you’re an animal in a cage with them and you’re the only one who can see the bars. Gnawing and hacking at them to no avail. And yet all you can do is wait and hope and try and fail in an endless loop until an outside force interferes to free you from your prison. The carrot and the stick. How does it feel to be on the receiving end?

[linkito]

I feel so much for Scar in those pre-sleepover rambles T-T He's out here trying to balance his protectiveness with the hermits being like that. And the hermits seemingly not caring that they're hurting him too. Really only Impulse seems to be looking at Scar. It just all feels bad...

-🎀

It is bad!

And honestly, it's a tricky thing to write, because even though we typically focus on the perspective of Grian and Scar, we don't want to write the other Hermits as mean. In fact, they're not even necessarily in the wrong. Because things really aren't black and white.

They mean well. They're concerned about Grian, and in a way, it is helpful. It's making Grian look inward and think about what he likes and for what reasons. It is a good concern to have, just... executed poorly.

Because they don't know any better.

It's reactionary! They see bruises and a flinching avian and fangs and an angry vex. It's not an unreasonable conclusion to come to. And they're still not necessarily buying into this idea of Scar being an abuser of some sort, no they know Scar, but... They can't just discard their concerns because of their feelings.

They know Scar, but... this version of him almost seems like a stranger.

...On the bright side, there are more Hermits on Scar's side than just Impulse! (not Mumbo though /sob)

Impulse and Gem were there during the rescue, specifically they were the two that saw how Grian let Scar near when he wouldn't allow that from anyone else. The way Scar's vex form faded as he embraced him. The way they held each other so intimately, the way Scar shushed and soothed him.

They know. And they saw that awful world. They understand more than most.

And Gem regularly spars with Scar! She's probably one of the few who is genuinely intrigued by this "new Scar." She likes him. She likes him just as much as she liked "old Scar."

Skizz comes around. He's a bit nosy and can be very critical, but he's also a pair with Impulse, let's be real. If Impulse sees the good in Scar, so will Skizz. Skizz is just gonna be a bit more of a pain in the butt sometimes, but Scar doesn't mind being held accountable and being kept in check. (Grian minds that people think they have to do that.)

Cleo is also a huge support. Imagine Scar asking them if he scares her. And Cleo just snorts like, "Scar, you could never scare me." She's literally undead! A vex doesn't startle them. Cleo is also the one to help dress Scar for the sleepover and cut his hair. Mama Cleo energy <3

And surprisingly, someone who is just undeniably on Scar's side and goes as far to say the other Hermits are completely out of line?

Doc.

Doc, who had Scar practically destroy his bionic arm on the ship during the rescue. (It's fine, it gave him an excuse to make upgrades.) Doc who is taking care of [redacted] and understands more than anyone what those two had to go through.

"Those Hermits, man, they love to get involved in everybody's business. Some of the things they say, so stupid."

Doc isn't scared of Scar. Just look at him, he's the scary one! (No, he's fluffy and soft. Soft for Scar and soft for the pesky bird.)

And then of course, there's— /dragged away by the redacted fairies

0:-)

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i still haven’t written out my 261 metapost but i can’t stop thinking about the stsg subtext in that chapter . the parallels between geto slaughtering the village and gojo slaughtering the higher ups…. the fact that gojo does it right after declaring that he has to ���catch up” to geto

[good-beans]

YES thank you @kyanako5972 for your service 😤👏 (I was actually looping them both for a bit but I keep forgetting to run it lately ah...)

And hehe I have been ✨enabled ✨Have some Triage thoughts, and feel free to add your own!!

Starting off with my main praise of the song: “I want to be Innocent, I want to live.” I know the point of milgram is that all the characters are going to get worse, but I feel like this video is the first t2 song we’ve seen a prisoner get better. (People have talked about his savior complex being an issue but that’s coming after the inno verdict, in Triage he specifically says he never wanted this to be some kind of hostage situation where he has the power to save/kill people.) This is when we can finally see one of our verdicts go right. The others had an issue, or creeping guilt, or uncertainty, but Shidou gets over any uncertainty right then and there – he wants to live again!! In a series so full of death, in which half of the cast makes some reference to suicidal thoughts, plus two victims who did commit suicide, there’s something extremely profound about seeing one of them change their mind onscreen. We hadn’t gotten a moment of healing like that before, and I doubt we’re ever going to get one again.

The moment itself is shown very accurately and beautifully, in my opinion. His expression when he makes his statement about wanting to live is so unique. It’s not a smile, it’s not a grimace, it’s something in between. His voice is strained, but set. He’s not excited about it – when you’re in that mental place, it isn’t a cheery switch to wanting to live, it’s a grit-your-teeth and pick yourself up and make the tough choice. It’ll be so, so hard but by god you have a job to do. It made sense, given all the previous mentions of him helping Fuuta and Mahiru – he had a lot of complicated feelings about being a doctor, but he remembered that saving others really is his purpose in life.

And then the shock factor. Because of that moment and the family reveal, I think this video had the biggest twist of t2. The others had surprises, sure, but they were hinted at in the voice clips and vds, or they just exaggerated things we already knew about the characters. I was completely blindsided by Triage. Everything leading up to it paralleled Shidou with Mahiru, so I thought it was just a lover he’d lost (and maybe someone he’d just met or something). He had his moments with Amane, but I always assumed it was because of her connection to him, not vice versa. I assumed he was just overdramatic and killing people for some lady he’d fallen for, and then decided to take the easy way out and ask for death. So to find out he had a fully established family, wife and two kids??? To see his main character trait from season one was completely reversed??? (but in a way that wasn’t at all forced???)

Now, it’s much easier to make a character unlikable than it is to redeem them. We saw how quickly the fandom turned on certain characters, we felt pangs of horror for many of them. But it’s very difficult to make someone like a character they’d previously despised. Which is why I’m insanely impressed with the way those three minutes could undo months of my hatred toward Shidou, and bring me literally to tears over him. Suddenly his actions weren’t so selfish, as rash. He’s not taking the coward’s way out. He had incredibly good reason to do what he did, and now he’s taking accountability and choosing to face pain in order to atone. I’ll add more in a sec, but it’s not even that the video shows him as this perfect saint. Without holding back on everything he’d done wrong, it conveyed a real, grieving human that really moved me.

Of course the music itself was amazing – Shugo Nakamura sounds incredible. I don’t know too much about actual music structure, but the tone of both Shidou’s songs manages to be so fun and relaxing while simultaneously filling you with that profound sadness. It’s like an embodiment of his peaceful, sad smile. There’s something so human about his voicemail message, and it’s unique hearing different types of speaking parts in a song! But that moment is also foreboding. You wonder why he missed the call, and who’s calling, and you kind of already know, and you hear the three beeps as the line is dead. Then there’s the gut-wrenching return of those sounds, with the added visuals bringing to mind a dying heart?? Insane. 

And lastly, the visuals are gorgeous. Bringing back the flower/pomegranate symbolism in a similar but new way was perfect. The bright scenery and picturesque scenes really emphasized how happy he was. The video is so bright. His family is gorgeous, they’re happy. His neighborhood is sunny and warm. His house is comfortable and light. Which meant the dark scenes contrasted perfectly, driving home how jarring his loss was. And despite all the good things I said about him before, the video isn’t actually trying to paint him in an innocent light. There are literal graveyards behind him, showing how much blood is on his hands. The rotting food is such a disgustingly painful way to show what he was doing to people. He handed the tag directly to his son, showing full accountability: he gave his son his fate, he killed him himself. The images seem beautiful at first, especially compared to AKAA’s dark, bloody rooms, Backdraft’s grim tunnel, and INMF’s monstrous bees. But no matter how lovely it looks, it successfully  conveys a truly horrendous crime. 

In conclusion Shidou my fucking beloved. Go watch Triage again :3

[brainrotlesbian]

I’ve talked about the “used as bait” trope in whump, but about the “left behind” trope? There’s a lot that can be used with that one as well.

Maybe whumpee was taken to be used as bait, but their potential rescuer recognized the situation as a trap, and has since not gone after whumpee. Whumpee could be aware that 1. The situation was a trap and 2. They’re the bait, or maybe they don’t know. Any of these options can produce a lot of angst, like:

- the realization that no one is coming to save whumpee. This doesn’t even have to be a “this situation was a trap” type deal, it could just be a “whumpee was left behind by their group” as well. What happens then? Does whumpee break? Do they join with whumper for revenge?

- whumpee knowing it’s a trap and knowing that no one will come for them, and having to deal with those emotions. Five stages of grief, false hope, etc.

- a cruel moment in which whumpee isn’t the only person held captive, and their fellow captive is rescued (either by whumpee’s team or another team), but whumpee is left behind cause they’re a liability.

- whumper watching whumpee lose hope, are they sympathetic if it’s not personal? Or even if it is personal, do they empathize with whumpee? Or do they use it as further fuel to torment them?

- no one outside even noticing whumpee is missing, why? Were they not important or noticeable? If the fact that they’re missing is noticed but not acted upon, why? Were they annoying? Is there a doppelgänger of whumpee who’s taken their place? (There’s a LOT you could do with a doppelgänger subplot tbh)

- whumpee sitting and waiting for days, for weeks, possibly years, with no results. Do they take matters into their own hands? If/when they get out, how drastically have they changed? Would they be recognized by any of the former loved ones?

- if whumpee is able to get out, would they take revenge on those who abandoned them?

There is so much potential with this trope I feel it may not be as explored as others

[cerubean]

played cyberpunk for the very first time yesterday! and i may or may not hv played 14 hrs straight in one sitting

[nkogneatho]

hi pasiiii! i’m here for my tojisi fix please :3

have you ever met shiu? do yall get along?

hii mira <33 i adore your lil selfship questions so much :3

yes we have met shiu a couple of times. he is very close to us. he is also fucking annoying according to toji (cuz he is always teaching toji to do things right and toji doesn't like being ordered around uless it's me) but i find him to be a gentleman at times. he sometimes gets off late from work so toji just invites him for dinner and drinks. he also brings sweetes everytime he drops by.

also don't tell anyone but we three have done some things together. it started off as just a little game with a couple of drinks but then we got so drunk and toji's ass is a light drinker because he actually hates it unless it is mild. he told me a very embarrassing story about how shiu gets hard if he drinks a lot. i giggled and shiu was flustered yet throwing swears at toji. he scooted closer to me and whispered if i wanted to test it. i was like...so shocked and i told him no, but yk how nasty toji is. he wanted just to tease him a lil and toji told me it'll not be a big deal. so i got up and sat where shiu was. he gulped the air in this throat. i just took his hand and put it on my clothed tits and there it was. he got hard like immediately even his pants couldn't hide it. toji chuckled so hard and that's as far as i went. toji doesn't get jealous when it comes to shiu but he fucked me extra hard that night to make sure i don't even remember anything from that night except his cock.

[doubledyke]

I always see edd as having a severe inferiority complex, because being smart and moral is all he actually has. Outside of it, he's a scrawny wimp '' who can't lift a butterfly'', he's very socially inept and awkward, and his family seems so cold and unsupportive yet very controlling of him. He's unsure and overacts being smart and moral because he can't say anything more positive about himself.

he's basically like hermione granger in that matter.

i've never watched h*rry p*tter, so i can't speak to your last point but i can rant about edd!!!

i do think he's got an inferiority complex, for sure. not necessarily because he's actually inferior though, i think he just doesn't get any validation from his parents. so he's gotta try to squeeze it from the kids around him.

"you really think i'm a genius??" he asks ed of all people...

he is really smart and inventive. but he's also clever and witty. he's kind hearted, gentle, empathetic, magnanimous, loyal, and when the time comes he can be pretty courageous. but you'd be hard pressed to find a kid in the cul-de-sac (or anywhere) mature enough to appreciate those non-material skills and qualities. with no adults to point out those important attributes, he leans on intelligence as the thing that gives him value.

as far as his holier-than-thou schtick, he definitely gets that from his parents. i won't go into detail cuz i've posted plenty about how much i hate edd's parents. it comes from their unreasonable expectation of maturity from a 12 year old. he has to rise above puerility and act as the neighborhood fun police. otherwise what would mother and father think? we all know he rarely practices what he preaches, however.

tbh i don't even see him as that awkward in the later seasons. he's weird around girls but who isn't? he and eddy both try to be smooth talkers but edd is more successful because he's not as abrasive and uses big words to sound convincing. he's good at putting on a front, especially when he feels like he's got the moral/intellectual high ground (which is often). so even if he's faking it, he can come off as somewhat composed.

it's possible and entirely realistic for someone to have seemingly opposing values and characteristics and be contradictory. that's edd is, to a t! that's why we love him.

[dehvoursarc]

// obligatory weekly I am so sorry for being annoying and unfortunately it will probably happen again post

[anachronistic-falsehood]

oh my god dude. sorry i'm gonna have a homestuck interlude to classpect qpac and his role in the narrative because i'm thinking about him

he's. SO Page of Hope coded. he's so page of hope fr. his class being a Page makes so much sense because throughout homestuck, every single Page are all people pleasers. they're walking doormats who rarely stand up for themselves. they feel like they can't do anything right, so they sit down and shut up half the time so they don't do anything wrong. and his aspect being Hope makes so much sense because like. Hope is about optimism and doing right for right's sake and helping those who are down. he holds optimism as his greatest shield even when things are crumbling around him. it's so important to him!!!!

but also being a Page means that he lacks his aspect in a way, and his journey will be long and arduous before he can see the fruits of his labour, and when his efforts pay off, MAN it will pay off. there are so many times when he has just seemed to have completely given up hope. he's been broken down again and again and again and you can see the peak of that during the risus pills arc, when he was so out of it he was actively suicidal. but somehow he keeps bouncing back!!! he found the cure anyway, he left it for Cellbit, the guy he's terrified of, and he saved himself and Forever. he will step between something that scares him and something he wants to protect even as he cries and shakes and sniffles the whole time.

the thing about Pages is that it takes a long time for them to reach their full potential, and there will be so many bumps in the road before he even comes close. but when a Page finds that potential, they can be one of the most helpful, powerful, and dangerous members of their session. Pac is an extremely useful member of the server, he's extremely skilled, he just doesn't see it, and he can't reach his full potential as a Page until he can recognize his own accomplishments. the only problem is that when Pages reach their full potential, they have a tendency of dying right away. when Jake faces Aranea in Game Over, when Tavros stands up to Vriska, they both die almost immediately.

Pac and Jake "yes and" everything because they don't want to be a burden, and Pac and Tavros don't know how to face the people who traumatized them. the inaction of Jake and Tavros is what ultimately leads to their deaths at the hands of the Light players who hurt and manipulated them. (coincidentally, i also see Cellbit as a Light player, a Prince or Bard of Light, but that's for another post!!!) Tavros didn't stand up to Vriska sooner, Jake couldn't say no to Aranea, and Pac folds as soon as Cellbit, one of his greatest fears, is in front of him with a knife.

Tavros and Jake forgive people who hurt them no matter what they've done. Pac has faced his own Light Player and died multiple times at his hands in both Purgatories, and now after a brief interrupted apology, they're supposedly just fine. Cellbit doesn't mean to be, but he is Pac's own personal Serket.

the difference with Pac though is that he is like if Jake or Tavros got a well-rounded continuation to their character arcs. his story isn't done!! it's still going!! he's getting there!!! he's getting more confident, he has support from the people around him, and i think eventually he can break this doomed-by-the-narrative cycle that fully fledged Pages seem to have.