#sorry hes just. god hes such an asshole. in that ‘im 19 and better than all of you’ way that particularly pisses me off

[evandore]

woke up - slept 18 hours - went on a drive - nan dropped off her car while i was asleep - its. um. well its her Good car - we bought a van - brother is being annoying af like always i need this man to be out of here i swear to fucking god just one month of this bullshit and im literally never talking to him again

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

[lassieposting]

Any alive! Skulduggery hcs that you haven't shared? I live by your version of him tbh

Hi anon! I think I covered skug's backstory up to when he signs up to fight and then skipped ahead to when he meets his wife, so you can have the Early War Years

- so when we left skug, he'd been on the pirate adventure and essentially moved in with ghastly's family at age 16, and that's where he stays for the next three years. Ghastly's father introduces him to taking pride in his appearance, Ghastly introduces him to Hopeless, and Ghastly's mother Saoirse introduces him to three things: motherly love, household chores, and the back of her hand for swearing in the house. He settles into the family, flirts with the prettiest local girls, develops an allergy to manual labour, and starts Experimenting™ with Ghastly, who's absolutely besotted with him.

- at 19, he has his surge, and it's bad. Ghastly has his a few months earlier, and it wasn't pleasant, but Ghastly was always going to be an elemental. He was sick and achy for a few days and howling in pain for just one or two. Skug expects much the same: he hasn't used necromancy in years, and he's had the best elemental tutors his parents could find.

- But he's inherited an insanely strong necromancy gene from his biological father, and an insanely strong elemental gene from his mother, and his surge ultimately comes down to two branches of magic trying to destroy each other to be the last gene standing. His temperature skyrockets as the elemental gene tries to burn the necromancy out of him. What looks like black blood seeps from his eyes and his nose and the corner of his mouth. His veins go black as the shadows retaliate. It goes on for days. Ghastly's mother is beside herself trying to get water into him so he doesn't die of thirst.

- If he hadn't also inherited the extremely rare genetic abnormality responsible for magical ambidexterity, his surge would've killed him. But he did, so it doesn't, and eventually he comes out of it and spends the next six months or so just recovering.

- at this point, the sanctuary is pushing recruitment. Ghastly doesn't look twice at the posters, but skug does. Ghastly's whole world is his family, their farm, and his father's tailoring business. But skug's father is a diplomat, he's got extended family involved in the war, he was supposed to go to a fancy French university that ended up being burned down during an attack by some pro-Mevolent riots, he's had to field questions from smaller siblings about when - and if - their dad would be coming home. He's highly educated, politically savvy, and emotionally involved. He decides he wants to sign up to fight.

- Saoirse does her best to talk him out of it, but skug is skug, and he digs his heels in and insists this is what he wants to do. He's going to join the war effort.

- Ghastly and Hopeless think it over and decide to join up with him. Hopeless, because he's an idealistic young man looking for glory, and Ghastly because someone has to watch skulduggery's back and keep him out of trouble, or he'll get himself shot long before he gets to set foot on a battlefield.

- honestly, ghastly isn't expecting skug to last long in the army. Skug is a pampered spoiled rich brat, and he's about to be surrounded by people who will scream in his face and make him do drills and expect him to obey orders, and he thinks it will take a few weeks tops before skug wants to desert

- that is. Not what happens

- like. none of them like it very much to begin with. hopeless has never had to do this much exercise in his life, and he hates it. ghastly is lonely and homesick and just wants to go back to dublin. and their first CO decides he hates skug on like, their first day of training, because he's a smart-mouthed arrogant asshole who's never had to be afraid of anything but his own father, and he does not react well to being ridiculed during drills. skug's ego takes a good solid battering because the other enlistees don't appreciate being given extra chores as punishment for him mouthing off, ghastly has to crack some skulls to make sure he won't be bullied for his scars, hopeless doesn't quite fit in and gets some nasty ribbing over it

- but also? they've got untapped talent, all three of them. they end up black ops fighters for a reason. hopeless tops the class for intelligence and undercover operations, because he can become anyone. ghastly is strong and level-headed and does well under pressure. and skulduggery is a natural leader, a ruthless tactician, and has a tendency to pull off insane plans that would go horribly for anyone else.

- they survive basic training. they get sent into the field. and ghastly and hopeless find that they're actually pretty good at this. they earn the respect of the rest of their platoon. and skulduggery? he starts to thrive

- this is the era of wealthy aristocrats buying their way into leadership positions they don't have the experience or common sense to do well in. almost none of the lower-class soldiers have any patience for it, but as a fellow aristo Skug has the social standing to call them out on it, so he still has a habit of making enemies of his commanding officers. he resents being handed orders by men who are less than he is, less clever, less observant, less capable. he goes out of his way to prove that his way of doing things is better.

- and? it works for him, sort of. he gets promoted several times - first he's pulled out of the enlisted ranks to be trained up as an officer, then he makes lieutenant, then captain - partly because he's Challenging to deal with and partly because he's becoming incredibly competent. it's fairly common for skug to get a flogging (for disobeying orders) and a promotion (because it worked out well for him) simultaneously. he has quite a few stripes by the time he meets wifey. when he starts being given command of a squad of his own, he takes ghastly with him as his number two, and hopeless comes along for the ride.

- at some point, skug gets palmed off on then-colonel corrival deuce. it's phrased as "oh here i'll give you some of my best men", but corrival is experienced enough to recognise "god please take this one off my hands im begging you" when he sees it, and sure enough, he butts heads with skug almost as soon as they're introduced.

- by this point skulduggery's men have developed a reputation for being a bit wild, and they're very loyal to him, so corrival has his work cut out. but? he's got a bit of a different approach to a lot of his fellow officers, because he came up through the ranks himself. so instead of locking horns with skug and trying to flog him into compliance, he turns skug into his pet project, his prot��gé. he gives him a loose rein, defends his decisions to the higher-ups, and doesn't interfere too much with how skug runs his team, but he also doesn't tolerate backtalk, bullshit or cheek. he's the stern-but-fair mentor figure - the Captain Holt/Captain Pellew/Lord Wellington to skug's Peralta/Hornblower/Sharpe. and skug's never had a very involved father figure, because ghastly's father is massively introverted and his own was short-tempered and perpetually disappointed in him, so corrival trips his "kids want boundaries" switch and actually wins him over.

- corrival hangs onto him after that. as he gets promoted and moved around, skug goes with him, and by extension so do his team. corrival learns to use the sensible members of the group - ghastly and hopeless, then erskine - to triangulate skug and stop his temper getting the better of him. he's incredibly proud of his chosen men, and all three of them really come into their own under his guidance. skug turns down promotion a couple times because it would mean a change of CO, and he knows there aren't many people he'd take orders from anymore.

- and then skug meets wifey.

- when skug gets married, neither his mother or father attend. they don't approve of wifey or her pitiful dowry. they assume, as does kenspeckle, that he's marrying her to Do The Decent Thing because he's knocked her up, and his father reassures him that he doesn't have to marry the girl, just send her somewhere far away and send her money to support her brat, and this whole sorry indiscretion can be put behind him. skug is. furious. he was smart enough not to take wifey with him to announce the engagement, and he ends up having a screaming match with his father that ends with him a) walking out and b) getting disinherited. he marries her anyway, and despite mr and mrs pleasant senior snubbing the whole event, he's got a full complement of parents there all the same - ghastly's parents turn up, and so does corrival.

- it's a military thing - skug's in his military dress uniform, they cut the cake with his sword - the parade sword, at least, the one he's never actually used, they walk out of the venue through the sword arch and skug's team do the rifle salute. ghastly's mother drags him to one side, pulls him down by the shirtfront to fuss over his hair and try to make it lay flat, licks her thumb and wipes a smudge off his cheek, embarrasses him in front of all his friends. then corrival snags him while they're waiting for the bride, tells him off for not having perfectly shiny buttons, redoes his collar for him, and tells him, "You'll do" like he isn't about to cry a lil. he offers skug some whiskey from his flask "for courage" and without really thinking skug says he doesn't need it because he's never been so sure about anything in his life and corrival is just. he's fine. he's not choked up at all. stand up straight, boy, for god's sake.

- he also makes a speech ghastly still brings up hundreds of years later, because it's the soppiest the old man ever got with any of them. along the lines of "i never had a son, and if i had, i like to think he would've turned out absolutely nothing like you, because you are single-handedly the reason i am going grey several hundred years ahead of schedule. that being said, i couldn't be prouder of the man you've become; you are at least half as stubborn and annoying now as you were when i met you, and i think i can claim at least some of the credit." and then, to wifey, "as to you, my dear, you have freed me, this monster is yours now. to your health, and my heartiest hopes that your future children turn out like you, because one of him is plenty."

- wifey laughs until her sides hurt and she's wheezing. skug pretends he's offended. ghastly wolf-whistles noisily and gets clipped round the ear by his mama. corrival tears up a little in the middle of his speech and clears his throat to hide it. and when it's all over and they're about to leave, wifey thanks him for coming because she knows it meant a lot to skug, and he promises her he'll do his best to bring skug home safe and sound until this damnable war is over.

(he wishes he'd been able to keep that promise until the day he dies)

[twinklecheeks]

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 9

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there are any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  

Warnings! Pregnancy, PURE FILTH, KINKY AS SHIT, I SWEAR THIS MESS IS NASTY, NSFW. I’m being SERIOUS. Most of this chapter is sex. 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 , Part 5, Part 6, Part 7,  Part 8

Word Count: 1.7k

Jeff’s Birthday 12/15/19

David: *Vlogging* Everybody get in the room quietly

Zane & Toddy: *has buckets of ice water*

Everybody: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JEFF. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Jeff: *under his blanket and pillows* Guys. I’m old now. Let me sleeep.

Zane: Wakey wakey baby

Toddy & Zane: *throws the ice water on Jeff*

Jeff: WHHAT THE FUCK

*Everybody runs out of the room laughing*

Jeff: So now that I’m awake, are we all gonna snowboard today?

Y/n: I can’t, so I’m just gonna stay here.

Carly: Erin, Corinna and I will stay back with her.

Y/n: Great, people are feeling sorry for the pregnant girl.

Corinna: Not true. I also hate the cold and I don’t wanna fall down a hill.

Jeff: Okay cool. We’re gonna leave in 20 and y/n, call me if anything happens.

Night time

David: I know we already sung it this morning but-

Everybody: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JEFF. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

Jeff: I just like to say thank you so much guys. I know that I’ve been such an asshole the past couple weeks but now that I’m 30 and we’re entering  a new decade in like two or so weeks, I want to make things right and also I’m going to be a father to two little girls. Y/n I know of personally apologize to you already but I just wanna say in front of everybody here. I am so sorry for everything I have done to you. I will admit, I am scared to become a dad, I will protect you and the girls with my life. And thanks to everybody that came here. This friend group has changed my life for the better.

Zane: Can we stop with this sappy shit and eat some caaake.

David: *vlogging* VARDON THROW THE CAKE

Jeff: wait what

Vardon: *throws the cake*

Jeff: *dodges the cake*

*little cake fight happens in the kitchen*

David: hey y/n, can I talk to you?

Y/n: Sure..

David: I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday. After hearing what Jeff said and the way you looked at him, I’m guessing you’re still probably in love w/ him.

Y/n: ummm…

David: I don’t blame you. He is the father of your kids and he most likely still has feelings for you too. Can we just move on and be friends again?

Y/n: I’d like that very much.

*after Jeff gets cleaned up*

Jeff: What did David say to you?

Y/n: that he wanted to move on and be friends again. So now, I’m officially single.

Jeff: So does that mean I can win you back?

Y/n: woah woah woah, slow down there Wittek. You're still on a trial run.

Jeff: Is there anything I can do on this trial run to make me a lifetime member?

Y/n: *getting horny* Maybe… I mean, technically you’re already a lifetime member. I’m pregnant w/ your kids.

Jeff: Sooo… I’m not crossing any lines if I do this? *pushes y/n down gently on the bed and hovers over her*

Y/n: Ummmm….. no.

Jeff: I bet your tits have gotten a lot bigger since I saw them last. I’ll only continue if you’re okay with this

Y/n: *smiling shyly* Oh gosh yes. Please continue

Jeff: *takes off y/n’s shirt* Wow, no bra? Were you planning this? *smirks*

Y/n: No but this better fucking happen because I’m gonna beat you if it doesn’t. My tits have gotten so sore since I got pregnant.

Jeff: *sucks of the right nipple and massages the left* Mmm, they taste sweeter from what I remember.

Y/n: *moans* Mmmm.. fuuuck. Daddy you can suck on my tits all you want.

Jeff: *laughs* Daddy? Someone’s got a daddy kink now?

Y/n: Oh shut up. Let’s be honest, you had a breeding kink before because you always loved cumming inside me before I got pregnant.

Jeff: touché… and I still will cum inside you at the end. I like to finish what I started babe *winks*

Y/n: You kinky whore.

*pulls Jeff in for a needy kiss*

Jeff: *takes off your leggings* Damn babe no underwear too? You were definitely planning this.

Y/n: *getting impatient* Jeff please eat me out.

Jeff: No problem. *kisses his way down to your pussy and his warm tongue licks from your entrance up to your clit.*

Y/n: Oh my god pleease don’t tease me Jeff.

Jeff: Anything for my queen *slowly circles his tongue around your clit* I love how you were always wet for me. *eats you out*

Y/n: *cries out in pleasure* I’m trying so hard not to cum so early.

Jeff: Cum anytime you want baby.

Y/n: Oh GOD I’M CUMMING.

Jeff: *fingers her and sucks on clit*

Y/n: *trembling* mmm I feel like I’m still cumming.

Jeff: You ready?

Y/n: *smirks* I’m always ready for you.

Jeff: You’re making it hard to be gentle w/ you cause I wanna fuck you so damn rough, but I don’t want to hurt you. And you also won’t be able to walk normally..

Y/n: And who says I want it gentle? *winks*

Jeff: You’re gonna be the death of me doll.    

Y/n: *gets on her knees & unzips his pants* I’ve missed your cock so much daddy. *You suck the pre-cum* It’s bigger than I remember.

Jeff: You’re daddy’s little pregnant whore aren’t you?

Y/n: I’ll always be your whore, cum slut, doll, you name it. *licks from the base of his cock to the tip* No one can suck like I can. *You hollow your cheeks so you can suck off as much as you can. His cock hits the back out your throat; you start to deepthroat Jeff*

Jeff: *grabs y/n’s hair & bucks his hips* Only daddy can fuck your mouth, cum inside you and get you pregnant, you got that?

Y/n: Of course. I’ll always take your cum.

Jeff: Get on the bed. On all fours.

Y/n: *Gets on the bed* Just fuck me rough daddy.

Jeff: *slams cock into y/n, gives her a bit to adjust* What’d say doll? *slams it into her again*

Y/n: Jesus fuck. I’ve missed you so much. No one can fuck me like you can.

Jeff: I remember you liked it when daddy fucked your ass doll. Remember?

Y/n: *trembling* Please fuck my ass and then my pussy*

Jeff: *slowly pushes cock into her* FUCK. Shit I almost feel like cumming rn.

Y/n: Fuuuuck me- too. SHIT oh MY UGH. I haven’t done anal in so long.

Jeff: *goes faster* oh fuckk… Your ass feels so amazing.

Y/n: *being a moaning mess* Cum inside my ass Jeff!

Jeff: Don’t worry doll. I’ll cum in both. *goes faster* Fucking SHIT. Sss-o ttight *cums inside y/n*

Y/n: *screams into pillow* SHIT SHIT SHIT IM CUMMING.

Jeff: *Quickly pulls out of ass and fucks her pussy* I’m still rock hard for you baby

Y/n: *Has 3rd orgasm right after the 2nd* Jefff!

Jeff: *cums inside her* Jesus.

*both are sweaty messes wrapped in the blanket*

Y/n: *cuddles with Jeff* Well that was-

Jeff: Kinky-er than usual. I didn’t think I liked to be called daddy.

Y/n: *laughing* Oh god don’t remind me.

Jeff: I’m gonna take a shower, wanna join?

Y/n: What, so you can make me cum for a 4th time tonight?

Jeff: No you little nasty. We’re sweaty and gross. We gotta wash off our sins.

Y/n: *gets out of bed and tries to stand up*

Jeff: I told you you won’t be able to walk.

Y/n: Oh shut up and help me.

The next morning

Y/n & Jeff: *wakes up at y/n’s phone ringing*

Y/n: It’s my doctor. *picks up the phone and puts it on speaker*

Doctor: Good morning y/n, how are you feeling?

Y/n: I’m feeling great.

Doctor: Well that’s good. Is there time for you and Jeff to come by my office today?

Y/n: *confused* Umm no. We’re out of town and won’t be home for another 2-3 days. Is there something wrong? You can just tell it to us over the phone.

Doctor: Well… Okay. The only thing that came up in both of your test results was that you and Jeff are carriers of a mutation of the GJB2 gene. Normally, that gene has a protein that plays an important role in the development of the cochlea, which is in our ears.

Jeff: Can you please get to the point.

Doctor: So because you both are carriers of the mutation of the gene, there’s a chance that one or both of your girls will be born partially or completely deaf.

Y/n: Wh-what?

Jeff: Is there no way in knowing if they are beforehand?

Doctor: The only way in knowing is doing a hearing test on both girls when they’re born. If one or both are born deaf, there’s options like the cochlear implant. I’ve seen this used on babies as young as 5-6 months old but that’s in the UK. Here in the states, babies would have to be at least a year old. Just remember that I’m saying there’s a CHANCE. I’m not saying that they will be born deaf.

Y/n: Ooo-kay. Th-thanks for calling. *Hangs up the phone* D-deaf? Our girls are gonna be born deaf?

Jeff: *holds y/n* Hey hey hey, she said there’s a chance. Since there’s a chance, we gotta be prepared. We gotta do our research and see what the best options are. We might also have to learn sign language and also teach them. Y/n I know you’re terrified and I am too but we have to look at the bright side.

Y/n: And that is?

Jeff: That we’re gonna have 2 beautiful baby girls.

Y/n: *smiles weakly* Should we tell the rest of them?

Jeff: Let’s wait a bit until we tell them.

Y/n: Okay.

Ummm… Yeah so that happened… Don’t say I didn’t warn y’all in the last chapter. Jeff is really stepping up after only a few days. What do y’all think of my little plot twist at the end? Also, Jeff still hasn’t told his parents! How do you think they’ll react. 

Comment if you want to be on the taglist!

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[amoosewritesfanfic]

19: spanking

[+18]

[Bakugou Katsuki x female reader]

[Warnings: spanking, skin tight suit, arousal, teasing, swearing.]

[I do not own any of the characters or art posted, all credit rightfully goes to their original creators]

-

-

He was a step behind her checking out her ass as he usually did, gods the things he was gonna do to her ass later.

They were in a... special kind of relationship, they weren't dating but they fucked on occasion, sometimes they fucked other people.

They were content with that...

No actually he wasn't, he hated sharing her with other assholes who couldn't touch her the way he could...

It was criminal for her to be dressed in such a skin tight suit, the way it hugged her curves made Katsuki growl almost.

But when she bent over, oh dear merciful creator... he almost choked.

She was talking to a young girl who was very enthusiastic about becoming a hero like her.

"You can become the best hero! Even better than me I'm sure!" Y/HN said, flexing her arm while resting her hand upon the muscle, she was standing up straight now.

"Really!?"

"Yeah! Do you want a autograph from me and Ground Zero?" She asked pushing a stray hair behind her ear the young girl of course nodded holding out a doll of Y/HN.

Both heroes signed it, Katsuki did it on her back.

Which gave him an idea for later.

Once the doll was signed the two said goodbye and walked off.

"Hey Y/HN, lockers after this." Katsuki said and Y/N turned slightly facing him.

"Okay, whatever you say Ground Zero." She said smiling.

--

When the two were done with patrols usually they had an hour before another team walked into the locker room, so they took full advantage of it, of course Y/N wanted to take a shower but she was stopped.

Katsuki lifting her over his shoulder and carrying her to the men's locker room.

"W-what the hell do you think you're doin'!?" Y/N asked, now usually Y/N was a calm and collected person but when Katsuki did things like picking her up or groping her ass she couldn't help but react like this.

But almost always they ended up having sex, either in an alleyway, the showers or in the back of his car before they left work.

"Punishment." Katsuki grunted.

"Punishment for what you asshole...!?" She whisper screamed, he was like this all the time.

"That hero suit... the way it clings to you deserves punishment." He answered as he sat down bending her over his lap, his hand slowly stroking her ass, basically warming it up for what he was planning on doing.

"Kat-... ah!" She yelped as he brought his hand down with a firm smack, making her asscheeks ripple. She knew this was definitely gonna leave a mark.

It was a new hero suit, she wanted something that would help her move with ease and this was what was recommended to her by multiple heroines, but it was actually the first time Katsuki had seen it like this.

He could already tell that Y/N was becoming aroused, he was sure if she sat up her nipples would be erect.

Oh she was definitely not wearing a bra in something so tight and revealing...

"Also it's daddy~ you know this brat~" he teased as he did the same to the other cheek, this time slightly harder.

"N-not so hard..." she whimpered, her hips pressing slightly into his lap but lifted up as she squeezed her thighs together.

"My oh my~ what a lewd little brat and the disrespect to her daddy is even worse~ I might have to deny you pleasure for the next three days..." He growled giving another firm spank making her yelp out.

"N-no... daddy I'm sorry..." she whimpered.

"Repeat it." He ordered, bring his hand down for another firm smack and she whined holding onto the bench.

"I-im sorry daddy! I'll.. behave!" She cried out.

"That's a good girl~ I might just have to reward you later... for now..." he gave her ass another spank.

"For now go shower." He ordered helping her get up before he stood up himself.

He was right about her nipples peaking through the suit, she would have to talk to her designer to fix that if Katsuki was planning on doing things like this a lot...

She hated it when he teased her like that, she felt the heat between her legs and gods knew how horny she was.

She nodded and walked off.

"And you better not touch yourself princess! I'll know!" He called out before heading off to the showers himself.

-

-

[Keeping it short so I cant get started on my other stuff, I need to catch up with my prompts TT_TT

Also you may have noticed I posted prompt 20 first that's because I had no clue what to write for prompt 19 so RIP.

also please if you want, you can slide into my dms if you wanna talk or if you wanna send some asks I'll answer them! Don't be afraid to!]

[snickiebear]

hello hello, nadia, let's get salty shall we :))) starting with no 1 ofc, 3, 4, 5, 13 (choose any character u want), 19, 20, 22, 23, 25 (again whatever ships/characters u want - tho i'm curious ab the "canon" ships o.o), 27 (feel free to choose any fandom u want too) I am DYING to know ur answers omg <33

Unpopular opinion about XXX character?HI ELE!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

SasuSaku and NaruHina. SasuSaku is just.... i dont like it. I don’t like Sasuke in canon and it feels so fucking forced. Same with NaruHina. I don’t read NaruHina unless its like a background relationship. like i could do a whole post about how both relationships are basically the damn fucking thing; badass man and girl who’s crushed/obsessed over the man their entire lives. it is... i dont like it.  

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

yes. yes i have. i dont even remember what fandom or what they said but if i dont like something, i unfollow. i dont want that stuff in my life and i have the choice to get it out so yeahhh (i think it either had to do with sakura/lucy heartfillia or maybe even a percy jackson thing,,,,)

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

SasuSaku. I hate it, really. unless its a total rewrite where Sasuke isn’t an asshole and Sakura isn’t obsessed with him and focuses on her development and then they get together later on and have been friends. i really don’t like it. i also don’t like canon NaruHina, it feels forced in my opinion, so same deal with SasuSaku, unless its an AU and the romance is actually developed, i dont like it. 

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

i dont think so.... the only fandoms ive ever really been in are fairy tail, naruto, soul eater, and pjo and all of my fav pairings were usually fandom popular or widely accepted so not yet!

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

-i dont like canon sakura. oops! i watched the OG naruto and i would hold those small moments that i did like her so close to my chest and i was so so disappointed on how kishi handled her character. it just makes me upset but not surprised tbh so now ive made it my mission to write her with all the potential she had 

-sasuke deserves to be angry and go out and do his thing. but also, he should be held accountable for his actions. Yes. the uchiha were treated like shit and murdered for basically no fucking reason but still. he’s OP and just like your basic “lone wolf bitchass”. 

-same with naruto. i love sunshine boys. I DO. but he... doesn’t mature?? he stays naive and ignorant (from what i remember) and he’s so god damn OP. this fic summarizes the way i feel about Sasuke and Naruto. They’re great characters, sure, but im so thankful for critical thinking fic authors who give them depth and realistic lives/characteristics.  

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

-the toxicity towards woman. its pretty prominent in like all animes tbh. it makes my blood boil and like so angry that i try to steer clear from it 

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

LEESAKU. i love that ship with all my heart. i feel like they’d just be so good together. like if sakura got some actual character development and lee too, they’d be so kickass and soft together. 

22. Popular character you hate?

i don’t really HATE a character, but sasuke. he irks me. i would punch him in the face and shove him into a locked room with 10 therapists. 

23. Unpopular character you love?

kishimoto sucks. sure, he wrote one of the greatest anime/mangas around. but i feel like he bit off way more than he could chew. the character development could have been so much better, world building was great tho, and tho some of the arcs were creative as hell,, the writing could have been so much better. if given the chance, i would rewrite it. 

EDIT: IM SO SORRY LMFAO I MISREAD THE QUESTION

i do like Karin, or at least fanon's intpretation of her character. Tbh, i don't like most Canon naruto characteraztions, they bother me and i wanna go in and fix all of them

25. How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

fairy tail: LET NATSU KISS LUCY GOD DAMNIT. 

naruto: i would need to rewrite the whole series; but in short, not have sakura want to go with sasuke. let her be happy by herself. let her want to grow in the village and help with the hospital. 

27. Least shippable character?

sasuke,,, maybe neji. but sasuke. i see him as such a flat character. like, he’s angry and stupid but ambitious. thats,,, thats it. oh! and he likes snakes and has no use for loyal friends??? idk if you can tell but i dont liek him LMAO

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#36)

5x13, the series finale i have heard nothing but good things about - I made it y’all! *wipes tear* this is a show i will definitely rewatch! It definitely feels like the kind of show that’s so layered that every time you go back you’ll pick up something new. I love shows like that.

i haven’t been on tumblr on my computer in a long time but im gonna go through and add “read more”s to all of these recaps! 

(thanks to anyone who read these nonsense recaps! if you enjoyed these...in addition to my currently-on-hiatus riverdale podcast @bodysuitsforbughead, I have another teen drama-centered podcast in the works, follow @LeftyTeenDrama on Twitter and @leftistteendrama on Instagram to get updates when it launches! I’m taking a break on working on it till i move but it’s gonna be a big part of my 2021 projects. I’ve already recorded one episode with two of my favorite people in the world and it’s gonna be amazing. It will be about a variety of teen dramas, but FNL will definitely be included.)

and without further ado, my final FNL ramblings under the cut:

And we open with one last montage of shots around Dillon from a car, with a “Christmas in Texas” song playing. Amazing. 

Oh wow, I love the “FIVE DAYS TILL THE CHAMPIONSHIP” vibe. The build-up is already here. A shot of Julie in the stands watching practice! 

It’s super uncomfortable that people are talking to Vince about his “future teammates” on the Panthers before the post-season is even over.  “I don’t really wanan talk about that. I want to talk about how the East Dillon Lions are gonna win State.” “Is that a promise?” These Texas sports journalists are WILD. this is a teenage boy whose school’s funding just got cut right before the biggest game of his life! Can we have some sympathy?!

“I hear they’re taking the cream of the crop for the Superteam so I’m gonna be honest with you, what are you gonna do?” EXCUSE ME SIR? I repeat, TEENAGE BOY. Tinker’s response of “you’re an asshole” and storming away was more than appropriate!!!

“No comment”ing his way out of there like a champ.

Ah, the age-old tradition of decorating a Christmas tree while arguing about a five-year football coach contract in Dillon or a dean of admissions job offer at a prestigious Philadelphia college. Julie’s just sitting there with Gracie like ooooh boy 

“Here is where we put our tree, not Philadelphia! It’s a Texas tree.” OMG STOP IT. Lol Julie putting her hands over her ears.

YAY MATT SARACEN IS AT THE DOOOOORRRRR im so excited

Wow I did not expect this proposal to come that quickly into the episode! Like i knew it was coming in this episode but aw. They’re so soft! Just like, oh i’ve been thinking about you nonstop since our perfect Chicago tryst and oh look here’s grandma’s ring let me casually get down on one knee in the town where we fell in love. And after she was just talking about how much she misses Matt to Tyra the episode before? That “yes” she gave feels so certain because of it. Aw.

The grandma’s ring really fucks me up because you know how close Julie and Grandma Saracen have gotten over the years. My heart!

“Oh my God, your dad must’ve flipped.” “...What do you mean?” OH NO Eric Taylor is totally the type to care. “...When you asked him to marry me.” Oh I knew this proposal was too early in the episode, im dying!

“You need to go man to man.” Ugh Julie i liked Matt’s plan of just going and telling them much better. His look of fear when he repeats “man to man.” dead. 

Wow no theme song??? That’s how you know it’s gonna be a long series finale!

Andddd here we are, a bickering Riggins “I may or may not be going to Alaska.” “Is it because you raw dogged Tyra last night?” i literally gasped.

LMAO Mindy trying to say Tim and Tyra are incest now that Mindy and Billy are married and then Tim and Billy immediately being like “nope, no blood lines, that’s not how incest works.” Someone should send that memo to all those anti bughead stans about bughead and falice

“What do you think about me taking Stevie for the day?” “I’m fine with that. There’s no going back, I’m going to get the bag.” LOL Mindy spoken like a true parent also YES to Tim and Stevie spending time together.

Poor Jess not realizing that asking Eric if she can follow him to the Panthers is a much bigger question than she thinks se’s asking.

AWW Tim and Stevie at Grandma Collette’s. How cute. 

“Seven’s back in town?” “Yeah, he and Julie got engaged!” 

Tim/Tyra and Matt/Julie double date?? Aw I love that Tyra knows that Matt and Julie got engaged. I really love Tyra and Julie’s friendship. 

I’m laughing really hard at Matt’s speech to Eric trying to ask permission. This is so funny. 

Eric’s like, “is this kid serious rn?” 

Not to be that northern bitch but don’t kids get married at 18/19 all the fucking time in Texas?? I feel like it’s more common in even more rural parts of like...any state.

“The answer to your question is gonna be no today, it’s gonna be no tomorrow, and it’s gonna be no until the sun burns out.” LMAO wow i didn’t see this coming

“This was really just a courtesy, we were hoping for your blessing.” YES MATT.

OH BOY Eric did not just try to speak FOR his daughter, im not about it. “My daughter’s answer to you is ‘no.’” That’s some patriarchal shit right there.

“We’ll never know if we’re East Coast people if we don’t try it!” “We have a MUCH BIGGER problem.” Dude, it’s Matt Saracen, the softest boy who has loved your daughter for years, i actually think the fundamental decision of where you and Tami continue your future might be slightly more pressing. 

“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me! I think we agree on this!” IM SCREAMINGGGG 

Aw, Tami getting teary-eyed at Grandma Saracen’s ring. “It’s just, y’all are so young.” I know but this is a TV show universe so we let teen marriage slide for the right couples, ok. 

Tami and Eric wanna take Matt and Julie to A CONVERSATION DINNER??? This is gonna be so funny. 

Aw, Vince got his dad a ticket to state? “I want you to be there.” if this fucker doesn’t just come and shut his mouth

Oh wow Becky’s mom is finally coming back? And yay Becky’s finally over her Tim crush. “So friends?” “I say family.” AWWW MY HEART.

“You guys were our age when you got married.” ARE YOU SERIOUS? “It was a different time.” Y’all have no leg to stand on here.

“Marriage requires maturity.” Says the man who won’t let his wife take a huge job offer. What, who said that? (Okay the way Tami’s watching Eric give this speech about compromise, thinking she’s thinking the same thing.)

“You guys got married when you were my age, and how many times did you move? How many different things you’ve gone through and look how you’ve made it work. You guys are my inspiration.” AW. I wish my parents had a stable enough marriage to be able to say that LOL but nope.

OH NO poor Tami getting up from the table because she’s emotional! Because she’s clearly always thought of her marriage that way too but maybe not lately AH

Eric, babe, that’s your cue to follow. 

Oh shit, Jess’s family is moving to Dallas? Well, damn.

Eric saw Vince not take a ticket for his dad and came to his watering hole to hand deliver it? “Young man gets a chance like that maybe once in a lifetime.” and mic drop, walk away.

Luke casuaklly meeting Becky’s mom for the first time while coming by to try to win Becky back. “I love you. I’m so sorry.” AWWW. growth!

YES cheers to Matt and Julie! “Here’s to Mr. and Mrs. Saracen.”

“Always thought you’d be the first person to say that.” AW

Yes halfway through college, go Tyra!

Awwww, Matt being like “let’s dance” and pulling Julie up. So cute. Yes, Tim asking Tyra to dance. 

“I got plans.” “I don’t.” OMG is Tim saying he’ll just follow Tyra? Damn.

Why tf is Buddy calling Eric first thing in the morning to tell him about Buddy Jr.’s cast and “staying here el permanente” and GETTING HIM TO SIGN A CONTRACT BEFORE THE GAME? Y’all are shady as fuck!

I love that seeing the Braemore papers made him stop, tell Buddy off, and not make a decision in that moment. What’s gonna happen???

“I won’t be a part of your Superteam after all.” Hopefully Eric won’t be either! Aw Jess thanking him “for the greatest experience of his life.” “I think it’s been mine too.” AW.

Eric’s gonna give a coach in Dallas a good word for Jess? So beautiful. Yesss!

AW Julie and Matt decorating the Saracen Christmas tree, and Grandma trying to get Julie to wear her old wedding dress!

Emotional at this hug between Julie and Mrs. Saracen. “I love you.” “I love you too.”

Awww Vince finally being glad that Jess is part of the team...at the moment when it’s about to end.

Yess Tyra and Tim picnicking on the land? 

And YES to Tyra going into politics, I could see it! “Along the lines of Mrs. T. Except bigger.” YES GURL.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was five years old.” AWWW that is so precious. 

“I’m gonna build a house exactly where we’re sitting. I’m gonna get a job. And I’m never gonna do anything illegal for the rest of my life.” Oh, Tim. my heart!!!

“Maybe one day, our dreams can merge together.” THAT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. What more does one really want? Oh, these beautiful life-filled shots of them drinking beer on the land where Tim wants to build a house. Art!

Oh shit, Eric’s racing to get to Santa in time to be there with Tami and Gracie?! “You scared me half to death. What’s going on?” 

“I turned the contract down. It’s your turn. I want to go to Philadelphia. Will you take me to Philadelphia with you, please?” YESSSSSSSSSSSSS what they deserve! What Tami deserves!!!! My heart!!!!

Ugh, the imagery as they get to State is amazing. The boys taking in the field, the players suited up praying and getting in the zone beforehand. The screaming in the stands waiting for them.

“You may never know how proud I am of you.” “You changed my life, coach.” AW.

Eric’s pre-game prayer overlaying the image of the Lions bursting out onto the field! Yes yes yes!

The way they slowed everything down with just music, and focused in on the faces of so many characters - Vince’s dad showing up, Eric and Tami saluting one another from stand to sideline, Becky cheering in the stands excitedly for Luke, Matt and Julie holding each other, Buddy on the sidelines screaming, Vince’s mom jumping up and down - just absolute perfection. 

And we’re back in, with actual in-scene sound at 26-21 with 3 seconds left on the clock??? Jesus!

AH and every single character watching the football fly in the air, WOW the DRAMA.

Holy shit, they fast-forwarded to one of Eric’s players in Philly catching a football eight months later in Philly??? THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD. WOW.

Tami looks like such a badass strutting around campus!

YES Tinker is on the Panthers! Take that, bullying reporter! 

Aw, the East Dillon Lions sign coming down. :( feels.

Nooo Luke don’t go to the military! Noooo I hate that. Poor Becky. They’re the exact type of couple who gets caught up in that really sad cycle - too poor to really have many other options, so the whole “free college when i get out!” thing starts to look really attractive. smh.

But i love how they used the championship ring he gave Becky as a way to signal that the East Dillon Lions did, indeed, win the state championship eight months earlier...and that Jess is wearing the ring on the sidelines of a new field where she’s working with the coaches! amazing!

Yay Matt and Julie live in Matt’s beautiful Chicago apartment? Perfection. They really look so good in that city together. 

New beginnings in a new city together for both Tami and Eric AND Matt and Julie? I’m living! It’s what they deserve!

Tim and Billy building Tim’s house and drinking beers! “Texas forever.” “Texas forever.” MY HEART.

“Clear eyes, full hearts.” SILENCE. “Ah, we’ll deal with that later.” LOL

Yesss Tami coming out to meet Eric on the field!!!

“Ready to go home?” “Yeah, let’s go.”

And the lights go off on the field. End show. AMAZING. Truly, an epic series finale! An epic show! I will definitely rewatch and i am so glad i finally did! Thanks to anyone who gave a shit about my ramblings.

[moistmailman]

Gods and Godesses AU

*A fatigued Pyrrha is on the battle field, bleeding out and wheezing as she kneels out from exhaustion while a man with an axe is approaching her*

Bandit, raising his axe: So this is what the famous Knight Nikos is capable of? I must say, Im disappointed.

Pyrrha, internally: Damn it, is this how going to die? Being out sword by a group of bandits? I can't even see straight right now. My body is so weak, I can't move an inch. I can't believe I'm going to die here.

Bandit: *Starts to bring his axe down on Pyrrha*

Pyrrha: *Raises her sword and closes her eyes in anticipation, praying to God that she will be able to block this*

*5 seconds passes*

Pyrrha, slowly opening her eyes:......huh? What the?

Bandit: *Not moving a muscle*

Pyrrha: What the? What the heck is going on—

*Pyrrha looks around to notice that the entire bandit army wasnt moving a muscle, as if they were frozen*

Pyrrha, baffled: What the heck is goi—

*Suddenly a bright light appears before her, causing her to shield her eyes*

???: Knight Nikos! It is not your time to die today!

Pyrrha, opening her eyes: Whose there—.........o-oh my God.

*Standing before Pyrrha is a tall blonde man with blue eyes and blue armor, holding a battle flag in hand*

Pyrrha, stuttering: Y-youre....you're....oh my gods, you're the god of rejuvenation!

Jaune, smiling: That is correct. I've been watching you for a while, my brave Knight.

Pyrrha, still weak: You have?

Jaune, nodding: I have. But before we get into that, allow me to do something real quick.

*Jaune waves his hand at Pyrrha, causing her wounds to heal*

Pyrrha, gasping: Oh my gods. They're gone. I'm healed! You really are the god of rejuvenation!

Jaune: Yes I am. But this is nothing special. Any god can do that to a human, but they can't do anything close to what I can do. You haven't even seen my full potential yet. Now, I have a question to ask yo—

*Suddenly another bright light appears, causing Pyrrha to shield her eyes once more before seeing a short woman dressed in red with silver eyes appear before her*

Pyrrha, in shock: Oh my god.

???: Knight Nikos! It is not your time to die to— wait a minute! What are you doing here!?

Pyrrha:......what?

Jaune, annoyed at the short woman: What am I doing here!? What are YOU doing here!? Go away Ruby! This is my champion!

Pyrrha, choking: Ruby!? As in the goddess of speed Ruby! That Ruby!?

Ruby, smiling: Yes, that is me. And with my help you will be abl—

Jaune: NO! Stop it right now! I was here first, now butt out!

Pyrrha:....w-what's going on?

Ruby, cutely stomping her foot: No! That's not fair! You knew I had my eyes on Pyrrha for a while! She's going to be my champion, not yours!

Pyrrha, choking: Champion!? You two want me to be your—

Jaune: No she's not, Ruby!

Ruby: Is too!

Pyrrha, awkwardly: G-guys, can yo-

Jaune: IS NOT!

Ruby, sticking out her tongue: IS TOO!

Jaune: OH REAL MATURE! HOW OLD ARE YOU!?

Ruby: 2168!

Jaune: REALLY?! CAUSE YOU LOOK 10!

Ruby, blushing: S-SHUT UP! NO I DONT! I HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I LOOK LIKE A BEAUTIFUL 19 YEAR OLD WOMAN!

Jaune: Your height says 10.

Ruby, puffing out her cheeks: WHY OUGHTA! *Starts trying to hit Jaune, just for him to keep her at bay with his hand*

Pyrrha:....what......what is going on? Am I slowly dying and having a weird dream from my blood loss?

Jaune, chuckling: You can’t get to me because you’re so short! Ha!

Ruby, trying to. Real through: SHUT UP YOU BIG JER—

*Suddenly ANOTHER white light appears, this time a bulk blonde woman with purple eyes and revealing clothing to show off her muscles appears*

Jaune, groaning: OH WHAT NOW!?

???: Knight Nikos! It is not—

Ruby: OH NOT YOU TOO! GO AWAY YANG!

Yang: Wait, Ruby!? Is that you!?

Ruby: Yes, it is! And you are too late to make Pyrrha your champion, because she's mine!

Jaune: No she's not! She's my champion!

Pyrrha, wide eyed:......h-hold up, i-is this the goddess of strength!?

Yang, winking: It sure is. And I have had my eyes on you for a while now.

Pyrrha: Oh my gods. Is this a fever dream!? Is this really happening?! Am I really in the presence of two goddesses and a god?

Yang: You sure are, sweetheart. And let me tell you something. Your fighting skills are awesome. I'm really impressed. And don't even get me started on your muscles. Mwah. They are a beauty.

Pyrrha, blushing: O-oh uh...thank you.

Yang: Youre welcome, gorgeous. Now anyway, I have a question for yo—

Jaune: FOR GODS SAKE! THIS IS MY CHAMPION!

Yang: Oh blow it out your ass, Jaune!

Ruby: Yeah! Blow it out of your butt!

Jaune: I WAS HERE FIRST!

Yang: Nobody cares!

Pyrrha, awkwardly: H-hey guys, y-you really shouldn’t argu—

*Suddenly another bright light appears, before a short white hair woman appears in front of them*

???: Knight Nikos! It is not your time to—

Yang, groaning: Oh great. Miss no fun is here too. This is about to become unbearable!

???, repulsed: What the!? What are you guys doing here?!

Yang: Same thing as you, Weissy!

Weiss, angrily: Do not call me Weissy!

Pyrrha, head spinning: T-that’s the goddess of i-ice! That’s the goddess of ice! The goddess of ice is standing right in front of me!

Yang, rolling her eyes: Yeah, she sure is. And she’s a cold hearted bit—

Ruby: Language!

Yang, rolling her eyes: She’s a piece of work. There, happy Ruby?

Ruby: Yep.

Weiss, sternly: Look, I don’t know who you guys think you are, but Pyrrha is going to be my champion! Got that!? I have had my—

Jaune: “Eyes on her for awhile.” Yeah, we all have! But I was the first God here, so all of you go away!

Weiss, grimacing: I don’t even consider you as a god, Jaune. So I don't even know why you are here.

Yang: Ooooooooh, damn.

Jaune: GODS DAMN IT! EVERYONE GET OUT OF HE—

*Yet ANOTHER bright light appears again*

Pyrrha: Oh my gods! How many are going to show up!?

???: Knight Nikos! It—

Yang, waving: Oh, hi Blakey!

Blake: Yang!? What in the world are yo— wait, Weiss, Ruby, Jaune!? What are you doing here!?

Ruby: Same thing as you! We all want Pyrrha to be our champion as well.

Blake: Are you kidding me!?

Jaune: Nope. We all want to bestow our powers on her.

Yang: And Honestly, why are you here anyway? You're the goddess of sneaking. What the hell can you do for her in this situation?

Pyrrha: *In the background trying to wrap her head around the fact that 4 goddesses and a god are with her* Uhhhhhhhhh

Blake, offended: What is that supposed to mean!? I can help her so much in this battle! I can help her sneak away from everyone unharmed.

Yang: So you will make her a coward, is what you're implying?

Blake, angrily: No! I will make her fight another day! That is what I can do! Fight smart, not stupid!

Yang, nodding: Hmm hmm, that's cool and all, but I will be able to make her kill every single one of these assholes with her barehands. So I'm pretty sure I'm the best choice for her here!

Ruby, crossing her arms: Nuh uh! I will be able make her zoom around everyone and take them all out under a second! So I'm obviously the best choice for her!

Weiss: That is prosperous! I will be able to make her freeze everyone here solid! And she will be able survive even the coldest depths of hell with my powers! I'm the best choice!

Pyrrha: Guys seriously, please stop—

Yang: Its summer, dipshit! It's like 80 degrees out!

Weiss: Why you littl—

Jaune: I can literally make her unkillable! She will not be able to die with my powers bestowed upon her!

Yang, sarcastically: Wow, that sounds so amazing! You hear that, Pyrrha. With Jauney's help you will be able to get tortured none stop without the relief of death. Doesn't that just sound amazing?

Weiss: Its honestly better than being a damn brute like you.

Jaune: Ha! Thanks Weiss.

Weiss: Shut up, I still don't respect you.

Jaune: OH COME ON! I WAS HERE FIRST!

Ruby: LOOK, SHES GOING TO BE MY CHAMPION AND THATS FINAL!

Yang: NO SHES NOT! SHES MINE!

Jaune: I WAS HERE FIRST! SO SHE'S MINE!

Weiss: NOBODY CARES, JAUNE! BESIDES, SHE WOULD MUCH RATHER HAVE ME INSTEAD! IM THE BEST CHOICE!

Blake: NO! I WOULD BE THE BEST CHOICE FOR HER!

Pyrrha, mumbling: Are they actually fighting over me. This reminds me of all the boys when I was a teenager.....*starts blushing from the thought*

RWBYJ: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE*

Pyrrha: G-guys.....

RWBYJ: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE*

Pyrrha: Guys.

RWBYJ: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE*

Pyrrha: GUYS!

RWBYJ: What!?

Pyrrha, awkwardly: Uh...well uhm.....do all of you guys really want me to be your champion? Like me?

RWBYJ: *nods*

Pyrrha, blushing: Oh my gods. I h-honestly can’t even.....comprehend any of this. This is all happening so fast. I don’t even know what to do.

Weiss: You can start by picking one of us.

Yang: Which obviously going to be me.

Ruby: Nuh uh! It’s going to be me!

Jaune: Are you guys forgetting that I’m the first one here?

Yang: I wAs ThE fIrSt OnE HeRe.

Jaune: My gods! You’re as mature as your sister!

Yang: YoU aRe As MaTuR—

Jaune: WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!?

RWBYJ: *RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE*

Pyrrha: GUYS STOP ARGUING!

RWBYJ: Sorry....

Pyrrha, awkwardly: Okay look, I don’t really know how to choose. I-I mean, this is a lot to take in all of a sudden. I thought I was about to die not even 5 minutes ago....or at least, it would be five minutes ago if Jaune didn’t stop the time suddenly.

Jaune, smiling: I saved her by the way. Just saying.

Weiss: Shut up.

Pyrrha: So my mind is all....wacky right now, and I can’t decide. So could we maybe....I don’t know.....could I just be all of your guys’ champion? O-or is that against the rule of something?

RWBYJ:.........

Pyrrha, blushing: I-I sorry, I just really don't like arguments is all. Nobody usually wins with them, and they always leave people in a bad mood. A-and I will feel bad if I choose one and leave the others depressed and all. B-because you did come all the way out of your way to help me. S-so how about I just be all of your champion? S-so everyone will be happy?

RWBYJ:..........

Pyrrha: I-I just want to make everyone happy, and that’s it. I-I promise. I-I’m sorry if my suggestion offends any of you, because that’s not my intentions at all.

RWBYJ:........

Yang: Do we even have a rule book?

Weiss: No, we don’t.

Yang: Really? Hmm.........

*two minutes later time unfreezes and the bandit swings his axe down, just for it to hit the dirt*

Bandit: What the hell!? Where did she go!? It's like she just disappeared in a shado— GARK!

*Abruptly all of the bandits were quickly killed off by a red blur, some of them being frozen solid, some of them being thrown 30 feet in the air*

Pyrrha, appearing out of nowhere covered in blood: *Panting*

RWBYJ: *Appear out of nowhere*

Yang:......well, we just made an unstoppable killing machine.

Jaune: Yeah, we did.

Pyrrha: *passes out from exhaustion*

Yang: Dibs at carrying her~

RWBJ: Dib on— dang it!

Yang, picking Pyrrha up: Haha! Too slow!

[godblessthecactusess]

hola - welcome to another reaction post

Agents of SHIELD - s7ep11: Brand New Day (WARNING – SPOILERS (obviously))

-          So straight off the bat, reading the tagline, looks fun - “(in order to win against Sibyl/Nathaniel) they’ll have to get creative, and maybe even a little out of this world.” Intriguing. Looks like we could be in for some fun stuff this episode, but I’m really wondering how we’re going to turn this all around in just three episodes (counting the finale as two), so I’m guessing there’s gonna be a big thing to happen that’s gonna end it all. Like, someone’s gonna die, I’m just gonna say it, it’s gotta happen?

-          Also, because I can’t restrain myself, I have been on Tumblr and Twitter today, and I haven’t actively stopped to read what I’ve seen, but because I am rubbish at avoiding it, I have figured out that we’ve got some flashbacks this episode, which appear to have Fitz in them??? I bloody hope so gosh.

-          Right, I’m gonna start it. Deep breaths.

-          Recap, okay.

-          RIP Jiaying.

-          Deke is so oblivious but I still love him and wish that Daisy and Deke had been a thing.

-          Daisy’s been crying nooo

-          So they lost the Zephyr. (And what’s left of the Fitzsimmons fam)

-          They went to space??

-          Daisy’s gonna fight this bitch. (I know I’ve seen it already in clips but still).

-          I’m discovering it’s really hard  to type and pay attention.

-          “I wanna be an agent of SHIELD” 1. I mean, that’s the show but 2. She says with the face of “but like actually don’t trust me look at my evil grin mwhahahaha”

-          Space woowww

-          How do all these randos know how to fly the Zephyr??

-          Did Deke just make a Die Hard reference? (rhetorical, yes he did); I mean I haven’t seen the entirety of Die Hard, but I watched bits last Christmas and I’ve also watched enough B99.

-          …Motherfucker. (again actually something I learned from B99, not Die Hard)

-          Aw Mackelena babysitting

-          Proof?

-          Oh so the team’s finally learning what we learned about time in Endgame.

-          “A Brand New Day” got it

-          Bro I was gonna say that (about it’s basically Project Insight) but he said it better cos he’s Coulson and he’s cooler.

-          “My sister” look at these two

-          Ha lies I bet she’s fucking lying

-          “Sibyl said” the new version of Simon Says

-          Hold up did she just give her the keys?

-          DON’T MAKE ME WATCH THIS AGAIN

-          IT’S A FITZSIMMONS BEST BITS

-          And I’m going to cry

-          DON’T hit my BABY

-          Elizabeth’s eyebrows are to die for

-          WHAT DID THEY DO TO DEKE NO

-          Where’s she going huh

-          Look Sousa put suspenders on

-          Are they his battle suspenders

-          Cos that’s the cutest thing ever

-          I love him

-          “I ALREADY HAVE A SISTER TO SAVE HER NAME IS JEMMA SIMMONS” OMG

-          Science Daisy

-          So she’s really never flown a quinjet huh

-          “It’s your last chance to stay behind” *assertively puts on seatbelt”

-          That moment when you don’t know if it’s a cut to the next scene or Mack’s caught them

-          No wait he’s got his shotgun axe. Bitch ready to go yes.

-          Oh wait he’s telling her off.

-          No he’s agreeing.

-          Omg yes Mack

-          Where does all that water go – I’m assuming there’s a drainage system?

-          So they left Mum and Dad behind rip

-          Is Kora just in the background reading a book.

-          Protective Nana Jemma

-          Nate you never cared about ‘your old man’.

-          Sousa just leaves his seat

       It’s a nice parallel to Goose in Captain Marvel

-          They have an auto-grav setting? But like, the quinjet isn’t made for space.

-          Daisy, ever the optimistic.

-          Mmmmmmspace

-          Oooof pulling the Bahrain card.

-          If May hadn’t done it, she wouldn’t have had a cool backstory, so put that in your pipe and smoke it Kora

-          Mmmmmcreepy messages through a virus in 1980s aesthetic. What a…. well… aesthetic.

-          Sassy Coulson back at it again.

-          I mean you are a fucking robot can’t you just plug yourself in or some shit; I’M NOT VERY SCIENCY OKAY

-          Oh great another “last mission” convo

-          Sounds like you will.

-          Thanks I’m crying

-          Oh wait he doesn’t remember the kiss I forgot that, shit.

-          Can’t just break a fucking window Nate, you’re gonna have to pay for that. Like literally with your own money, please and thanks, I don’t think the team brought any money with them.

-          Ooh love a good Coulson talk.

-          Honestly where would the team be without May? Dead, I think.

-          Burnt toast.

-          Did she just say Grant Ward.

-          Yes she did.

-          Ward would have been worse without Garrett? Uh I think not, not if someone had just called Child Services, and gotten him some fucking therapy.

-          “What are your intentions with Daisy?” Dad Mack coming through, “no funny business” and all that.

-          “I don’t have any intentions.” WHAT A LIE DANIEL HAHAHAHAHA YOU CRADLED HER HEAD ON YOUR LAP WHEN SHE WAS INJURED, YOU CARRIED HER BRIDAL STYLE OUT OF THAT BARN, YOU WERE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE THIS WHOLE MESS, BUT LOOKED RIGHT AT A SLEEPING, RECOVERING DAISY AND SAID “IM RIGHT WHERE I NEED TO BE”, YOU SAT AND NAPPED IN A CHAIR BY HER BEDSIDE THE ENTIRE TIME, YOU DIDN’T SAY NO WHEN SHE KISSED YOU, SO EXCUSE ME MISTER “NO INTENTIONS” BUT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE WRONG

-          “Well then you better get some” omg we stan mack even though his voice is so deep I often miss what he says

-          “omg shes like so into you gurl” is basically what I just heard. (picture 2000s american teenage girl, phone pressed to ear, chewing gum really loudly etc.)

-          “sir” HES SO POLITE

-          I’m loving this chat and its so true, every single one of them would massacre Sousa if he hurt Daisy.

-          “just like a damn comic book” ahaha haha…. ha. yep.

-          But I do love a good comic book joke in the show.

-          Wasn’t it in like s4, and Coulson said something about Daisy being Director and she was like “ha yeah maybe in the comic book version”? idk man im rewatching SHIELD because I have the worst memory but that was funny too

-          These two’s eyebrows in this scene god.

-          Honestly if you get the chance to rewatch this scene just watch Mack and Sousa’s eyebrows as they turn to look at each other it’s adorable.

-          Alright Sousa no need to be so mean I think it’s a great name.

-          These two giggling together omg the one things I didn’t know I needed.

-          19th century definitely was.

-          FINALLY SOME NEW FITZ AT LAST

-          “can you give us a moment” “yes” “…..oh”

-          What are you suggesting fitz my darling

-          …sooooooooooo….

-          Some time to have a kid maybe.. idk… grow old together…

-          What bloodwork? Did I miss a thing?

-          Snuggling Fitzsimmons ahhhhh

-          I didn’t think Kora would be so sad omg. Now I feel bad for her shit it wasn’t meant to be this way, I-

-          Fitz looks so different omg

-          Omg Fitz grabbing onto her and hugging im soft omg what a beautiful trope

-          WHO’S FITZ WTF OMG NO FUCK SHIT CRAP AHHHHHHHH

-          A kickass fight scene nice

-          Uh oh

-          Nice one May

-          “Sunshine” what an asshole

-          They’re gonna decimate everything wtf

-          Wasn’t there all those ships in the trailer

-          “quake”

-          Look at these cuties

-          Thanos could turn you to dust too.

-          SORRY too soon

-          Uhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck is happening

-          They’re just wiping out shield

-          Rip the Triskelion

-          DON’T YOU TOUCH HER LIKE THAT oh look now I’m being protective wtf is happening to me

-          Urgh absolutely disgusting

-          Well shit

  Uhhhhhhh so this is problematic. I mean, by all accounts, they could just leave this timeline and go back to the OG one. I mean, there’s a canon timeline where Steve learns early that Bucky is alive, Loki has the Tesseract and Steve just told a elevator full of Hydra agents “Hail Hydra” (so a highly chaotic timeline, that the avengers just left) so they could just leave but like, that’s unethical, i guess???? Oh well.

  Let’s go have a look at the new trailer for the FINALE!! ARGH omg its all ending and I’m sad

  WELL im going to cry aren’t I? ffs

Daisy’s accepting that this is their last mission.

“This is what we were fighting for.” Which issss….? 

It really is the end, huh.

The finale will make me cry. There’s not many SHIELD episodes that have made me do that. I think the one that made me cry the most was the spy’s goodbye. And I seem to remember crying when Fitzsimmons were at the bottom of the ocean,  and then laughing through my sobs bc the shot of Fury coming down from the helicopter, arm outstretched like Jesus was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen; but other than that? Not many. 

I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. HELP.

[ghost-in-the-hella]

19 with Victoria Chase and Chloe?

For whatever reason, I can’t seem to keep chaseprice stories short! Sorry this took so long, but I hope it’s worth it. I also immediately thought chaseprice when I saw that prompt (“According to this survey, most people agree you are, in fact, a gigantic asshole.”), so thanks for being on the same page with me there :) Unbeta’d and virtually unrevised despite how long it took me to write it, so please take it with a grain of salt.

Content warnings for misogynistic insults, underage drinking and drug use, and implied attempted sexual assault. Because teens in Arcadia Bay are awful to each other.

---

Chloe hasn’t seen Rachel since the first hour of the party. She stopped even getting texts from her about twenty minutes ago. She can already feel the familiar shapes of the argument they’re going to have tomorrow morning. Chloe will accuse Rachel of ditching her and ignoring her texts. Depending on how pissed she is, she might trot out the old dead horse about being abandoned by Max and flog that for a bit while Rachel fails to keep from rolling her eyes. Then Rachel will remind her about their agreement, that they’re both free agents and maybe if Chloe acted more like a free agent and less like a cuckolded wife she wouldn’t be so pissy all the time.

It’ll go back and forth for hours with Chloe whining about her abandonment issues and Rachel claiming that Chloe’s suffocating her, and at the end of it nothing will have changed. They’ll kiss and make up like they always do, but as soon as the next Vortex Club event comes around Rachel will insist on dragging Chloe and then she’ll ditch her in a crowd of people she hates and the whole cycle will start over again.

The whole thing is fucking exhausting, and Chloe’s sick of it. 

Not as sick as Victoria Chase is, though; damn. It’s a hell of a sight: the Queen Bitch of Blackwell teetering drunkenly on ill-advised high heels - possibly only still on her feet because of the bodies of people dancing around her - and looking like she’s contemplating puking in her purse. She looks awful. 

It would be more amusing if Rachel were there to make fun of her with Chloe. It would also be more amusing if it weren’t so painfully pathetic. Chloe’s way too sober to enjoy the sordid spectacle. Being the designated driver sucks ass, especially when the literal whole point of these parties is to get wasted. 

Chloe almost jumps out of her skin when her phone suddenly - finally - buzzes in her pocket.

Rachel: U still at the party?

Chloe scowls at her phone.

Chloe: of fucking course i am

Chloe: where else would i be??

Chloe: im ur fucking dd

Rachel: o right! Srry I already caught a ride

“Are you fucking kidding me!?”

Rachel: c u 2morro tho

Rachel: 2 whales date? Not 2 early tho

Rachel: this hangover’s gona be a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch

Rachel: luv u <3 <3 <3 xoxoxo

Rachel: xxx 

Rachel: ;P

Chloe buries her phone in her pocket, fuming. She can actually feel the anger rising off of her skin like steam. Obviously there’s no reason for her to continue being a designated driver if Rachel’s already fucked off with whatever Blackwell jock or cheerleader she’s decided to rail tonight. Chloe’s free to crash on the couch tonight with the rest of the drunk losers. Pass out in the bathtub maybe. There’s tons of booze in the kitchen; she should start there. Stoners are usually in the basement; they shouldn’t be hard to sniff out. Maybe if she’s lucky she’ll find the folks who’re always doing coke in some random bedroom or office and score a noseful. It’s not like she’s got classes in the morning. She can afford to live a little, as long as she’s not actually paying for it.

Chloe starts to push her way through the crowd to the kitchen.

“Watschh where yrr fffuckin goin…” slurs a messy but recognizable voice as a hand grips Chloe’s upper arm.

Jesus Christ, Victoria’s even more wasted than Chloe thought at first glance. Her hand on Chloe’s arm might be the only thing keeping her upright at the moment, which is the only reason why Chloe doesn’t immediately tear herself away. 

“Careful, Vicky; poverty might be contagious.” Chloe attempts to pry Victoria’s fingers from around her arm to no avail.

The idiot jock standing behind Victoria laughs at that, but Victoria just looks confused. And drunk. So very, very drunk.

“Ffffug you, Chhhloe,” Victoria slurs out.

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “Wow, you must be shitfaced. That was practically my real name!” She carefully shoves Victoria back off of her arm as the jock moves to steady Victoria by holding onto her waist.

“C’mon, babe,” he says, leaning close to her ear. He grins at Chloe and winks like he thinks she’s in on some kind of conspiracy with him, which immediately pisses Chloe off. “I’ve got it from here,” he informs her.

Victoria groans something inarticulate and tries to push the jock away, but she ends up just stumbling back into his stupidly broad chest. She really shouldn’t get so drunk and wear such high heels at the same time; clearly, it’s a dangerous combination.

“Dude, I don’t think she wants to go with you,” Chloe says as calmly as she can. She really doesn’t want to get involved. She wants to get drunk and stoned and so blitzed out of her mind that she forgets all about being pissed at Rachel. She doesn’t want to get sucked into whatever drama Victoria’s got brewing tonight. But she also really doesn’t want to watch a drunk girl get mauled by some entitled meathead, even if said drunk girl is a royal pain in her ass. 

“Nah, she’s good. Just needs some fresh air. C’mon, Tori, let’s go for a walk.”

“Don’ ffffuggin call me Tori,” Victoria growls, tugging her arm out of his too-firm grip and nearly falling right off her ridiculous and undoubtedly overpriced heels. “Iss Victoria.”

The creep ignores her and tugs on her arm again, toppling her into his body once more. “It’s cool,” he attempts to assure Chloe. “We’re friends. I’ll get her home safe.”

“She definitely doesn’t want to go with you. Let her go.”

“Dude, be cool! She’s just being a bitch. You know what Tori’s like.” He holds Victoria’s wrists to curtail her squirming.

“Fuggoff!”

Chloe cracks her knuckles loudly enough to get the jock’s attention. “I’ve got better things to do with my left hand tonight than break it on your nose, but if you don’t unhand her in the next five seconds I’ll do it anyway.”

That gives the jock pause, but he doesn’t look like he quite believes her. “You wouldn’t.”

Chloe shrugs. “If you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask Logan why his nose slants to the right? Although he’ll probably lie. Ask his ex-girlfriend; she’ll tell you the truth.”

---

As Chloe guides a stumbling and incessantly bitching Victoria through the dark toward her truck, she silently curses every decision in her life that led her to this moment. It’s actually not that different from drunk-walking Rachel home after a party, except that when Victoria keeps touching her boob it’s probably accidental. Probably.

“Where’ss Nathan?” Victoria whines, head lolling onto Chloe’s shoulder and smearing a healthy quantity of expensive makeup into her favorite Firewalk shirt. Which is fine. Not like Chloe can’t just steal another one next time they have a 2010 tour. Time travel’s a thing, right?

“I have no idea where Prescock is. Surprised he’s not doing shots out of your cleavage.”

Victoria’s trying to text, but she keeps almost dropping her phone. “Where are theese bisches?” Victoria grumbles as her manicured fingers jab and swipe at the screen of her phone with the dexterity of a toddler with two handfuls of butter. “Sposdt to be my frens…” 

Victoria’s entire focus is on her phone when it should really be on walking. Chloe tugs her upright and tries to steer her for the umpteenth time. “Can it wait til we’re in the truck at least?”

Victoria grinds to a halt and finally tears her eyes from her phone. “M’not gedding into that… that…” Victoria flails at Chloe’s truck and nearly falls over. “Deathtrap.”

“You had to get a tetanus shot to live in the dorms, right? You’ll be fine.” Chloe grips Victoria’s elbow with one hand to keep her upright and wrangles the passenger door open with the other. “Go on, get in.”

Victoria glares at Chloe foggily. “Are you khhidnappng me, Price?”

“...That’s a joke, right?”

Victoria whacks Chloe solidly in the sternum with her phone. “B’cause I’ll haf you know, my frens will put your assss in jail like that.” Victoria tries and fails to snap her fingers, then stares at them as if she cannot comprehend why they are not obeying her.

Chloe rubs at her sore sternum in annoyance. “Yeah, well, maybe your ‘frens’ should be the ones getting your drunk ass safely back to the dorms instead of abandoning you and letting random creepers paw at you. Then maybe I could get my drunk on in peace instead of wasting my weekend cleaning your puke out of my truck.”

Chloe’s expecting some pushback. Victoria hasn’t even touched her truck, much less puked in it. What she isn’t expecting is for Victoria to shove her phone in Chloe’s face. “You texx thm.” Victoria reaches for the door handle, yanks the door open, and unsteadily clambers into Chloe’s truck.

“Ow, what the fuck! You want me to text your friends?”

“Tell’m yer kidnappin me.”

“Uh, okay, no, I’m not doing that. But I can text your friends if there’s someone you’d rather get a ride with.”

Chloe carefully shuts Victoria’s door and walks around her truck to the driver’s side, thumbing through Victoria’s message history. She tries Nathan first, even though she can see that Victoria’s last ten messages to him have gone unanswered.

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Nathan: whothFUCKisthis

Victoria: a good samaritan. seriously tho your friend is halfway to passed out, can you help?

Nathan: fuckoffBITCH

Victoria: god why does victoria even like you?

She tries Courtney next.

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Courtney: I don’t know, can Victoria not call my boyfriend a MAN WHORE?

“We’re 0 for 2, Victoria. What’s the name of that blonde girl you’re always hanging around with?”

“Sweetie…”

“Um, what?”

“Goddddd you’re fuckn incomph-- incump-- incompetant. Sweet. T.”

“I have no idea what you’re-- Oh.” Jesus, the girl is literally in Victoria’s phone as Sweet-T. Gaaaaaaayyyy. 

Victoria: hey victoria needs a safe ride back to the dorms. can you come get her?

Sweet-T: Victoria? Victoria Chase?

Sweet-T: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sweet-T: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sweet-T: Tell that bitch good luck. 

Sweet-T: Actually wait don’t.

Sweet-T: Tell her to choke.

Sweet-T: Btw Taylor lost her phone.

“Uhh, looks like ‘Sweet-T’ lost her phone. And it’s fallen into the hands of someone who completely hates your pretentious ass; no big surprise there.”

Chloe starts texting Victoria’s contacts at random as Victoria sulks. Most people don’t even respond. The responses she does get are… not encouraging.

Zach: sup biiiiiiiiiiitttcccccccchhhhhh yeah i’ll give vicky a ride ON MY DICK

Hayden: new fone who dis

Brooke: Who is this and how did you get my number? Don’t ever text me again.

Dana: I gott a ride w Jules srry

Juliet: Already back at the dorms. Good luck I guess. 

Logan: fukk that bisch wut

“Well, Victoria, looks like none of your friends are coming to help. So you can either let me give you a ride back to campus, or you can pass out on a couch inside and hope for the best.”

“What th hell djou say to them??”

“Just that you needed a safe ride to the dorms. That’s all.”

“Bullsshhhitt. You pissed them off.”

Chloe laughs out loud at that. “I pissed them off?? You pissed them off by being a gigantic asshole!”

“M’ noddan asshole.”

“Oh, no? Well…” Chloe holds up Victoria’s phone and waves it in front of her face. “According to this survey, most people agree you are, in fact, a gigantic asshole.”

Which is how Chloe ends up comforting a sobbing Victoria Chase in a stranger’s driveway and wishing she’d never been born.

---

Chloe: dude. Srsly. Fuck u for abandoning me at that fucking vc party.

Rachel: chloe?

Rachel: wat timesit?

Rachel: w happnd?

Chloe: its 3am

Chloe: and victoria FUCKING chase is passed out on me

Rachel: ur joking

Rachel: omg

Rachel: pls take a pic

Chloe: this isnt funny rach

Rachel: it’s fucking hilarious!

Chloe: its SAD.

Rachel: Wait so

Rachel: did you fuck her?

Chloe: WHAT????

Chloe: NO!!!!!

Rachel: Oh good bc I don’t think there’s enough bleach in the world to clean your soul after fucking victoria chase

Chloe: she’s drunk AF

Chloe: her friends ditched her 

Chloe: and i kinda called her an asshole

Chloe: so she cried on my shoulder until she passed out

Chloe: and now i’m trapped

Rachel: Poor baby.

Rachel: Chew your arm off?

Chloe: not funny.

Rachel: Again, totally funny.

Chloe: Srsly tho, what should i do???

Rachel: idk

Rachel: sneak out?

Chloe: we’re in my truck

Rachel: hahahahahahahaha

Rachel: of course you are

Rachel: so wake her bitch ass up!

---

Victoria Chase snores. Nothing in the world could have prepared Chloe for that knowledge. She also drools, which is unfortunate for the state of Chloe’s jacket. Not that it’s the cleanest thing in the world anyway, but still. It’s the principle of the thing.

Victoria’s normally immaculate hair is in a state of total chaotic disarray. At least half of her makeup is gone, and what remains is smeared artlessly all over her face. She smells like a brewery. Chloe’s arm has fallen asleep under the weight of her head. Chloe envies it. The sweet release of sleep would be infinitely preferable to the intense awkwardness of being conscious right now.

The moonlight paints Victoria’s face in delicate shades of pale, highlighting the refined angles of her cheekbone, her jawline, her nose. She’s snoring and drooling and messy and the most utterly awful person; it shouldn’t be possible for her to be beautiful in this moment.

And yet. And yet.

Chloe should shove her awake. She should push Victoria off her shoulder, buckle up both of their seatbelts, and deposit her safely back at the dorms (because even though Victoria’s an objectively horrible person, that doesn’t mean that Chloe is). Chloe should abandon ship, let Victoria sleep it off in the front of her truck while Chloe returns to the party and drinks until she can’t remember what Victoria looks like in the moonlight. Maybe if she drinks enough, by the time she’s sober enough to drive Victoria will have sobered up and found her own way home.

Victoria makes a sleepy sort of grumbling sound and shifts against Chloe’s shoulder, draping an arm over Chloe’s middle and snuggling close. Her hair tickles Chloe’s neck and jaw as it sticks out at peculiar angles, and Chloe wants to laugh or possibly die. There’s really nowhere else for Chloe’s arm to go, so it ends up wrapped around Victoria. Victoria lets out a sound that’s disturbingly close to a contented sigh.

“Hey... Vic?”

“Mphgmhm?”

“Um… Are you aware that you’re cuddling me like I’m your long-lost childhood teddy bear?”

“Grhmphgm.”

“Uh. ‘Kay. Long as you know.”

“Mphkm.” Victoria nuzzles into Chloe’s shoulder, squeezing her tighter. Chloe awkwardly pats her side and Victoria sighs again.

“Hey, uh… I’m sorry about what I said before. I mean, not about you being an asshole, ‘cause I’m not gonna lie. But about your friends. I’m… sure your friends do like you, really.”

Victoria shrugs a little, frowning delicately. “Dsnmttr. Sleeb.”

Sleep. Okay. That’s theoretically possible. Chloe’s slept in more uncomfortable positions in this very truck, after all. So she closes her eyes and rests her head against the back of her seat, and she listens to the steady rhythm of Victoria’s breathing until the world begins to fade into a comforting void.

Shit’s going to be awkward in the morning. But, well. That can wait until the morning.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

h

She chose not to dwell on it.

h

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

 We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in. 

[...] 

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are. 

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

with my son

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

I

AM

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke. 

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.” 

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

[expression-in-its-essence]

The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

[juupajaa]

Coronaviris disease, Covid-19, SARS COV-2, Are you having issues with this virus/disease in your country? My gov. is not being honest so we are in the dark about whats going on, like actual symptoms, how paients are doing, what happens when you get infected,. We dont know alot, and its difficult to get tested. Things are becoming out of control in my state because a covid case was found a county over. Shelfs are empty and im worried. Do you know anything about this virus/disease?

Ok so here's Styx and this is his today's update (March 11th). He's an independent commentator on youtube and I've been watching him for years and I trust him as a news source 100%. Whenever he gives predictions or opinions, they too have proven to be correct most of the time, and honestly I can't remember him ever having been wrong about anything during the years I've watched him (but then again, don't watch a lot of his political commentary bc American politics just dont interest me, since I live so deep in the woods on the other side of the planet).

He posts daily videos and he's been reporting on Coronavirus since day one. He doesn't take a sensational approach to it like a lot of other media does, he mostly just reports on the spread and shortages, sometimes giving some thoughts on the handling of this whole thing and some advice and predictions. His advice for his audience from the start was to get some basic supplies in case of a panic/shortages and ta-da, we have panic and shortages.

If you want some reliable reports on Coronavirus, he's a pretty good source that I can vouch for. Just dont look at the comment section, it can get pretty dramatic, political and conspiratorial over there. Styx can come off as a smug asshole but I promise he's very nice and reliable and doesn't want anyone to die or get hurt. I've watched him a long time and he's a sweetheart✌

I'm gonna say that neither me or Styx are in anyway doctors or virology experts but from what I've understood, at this time Corona isn't dangerous to you unless you're old or immunocompromised. Whether or not your in the risk group, the current worry should be whether or not you have supplies (although it's a little late now if your shelves are empty. I feel pretty bad about not sharing this shit on my blog earlier :((( I'm sorry)

People who get sick (and aren't in the risk group) have a fever and a hard time breathing. Some have the virus asymptomatic, meaning they maybe cough a little but they don't need treatment. It looks like little kids and healthy young adults are pretty safe from this virus atm and the death percentage is not much higher than it is with influenza, meaning mostly only those who are already sick and weak are in danger.

So it's not the apocalyptic death virus but you still wanna do everything you can to avoid getting sick tho, since it's so god damn infectious and we can't have everybody in the hospital at the same time. No country has the resources to have even half the population sick at the same time, but it may happen and that is why it's good to have basic supplies in your home, in case supply lines or the infrastructure shuts down due to lack of people working or straight up quarantines.

The basics apply to corona as well, wash your hands with love and attention, don't touch stuff that other people touch (handles, buttons, phones, remotes, railings etc.), don't touch your face/mouth/eyes/nose with unwashed hands. If you go outside, stay at least one metre away from others, if you have to cough or sneeze do it into your shirt or sleeve.

As for supplies, if you still have things like flours or pasta or rice on your shelves, buy some of it for yourself. It's going to be ok even if canned goods ran out, you can eat pretty much anything if you just add water, flours and salt to it and put it in the oven. Porridge and bread has been around a lot longer than canned beans. If you can find stuff from your grocery store, buy it and put it in the back of your cupboard so you have something to work with if it gets even worse. Protein powder is a really good idea right about now and so are all sorts of packaged and long lived foods, like tomato paste. I mean who doesn't want to eat pasta and tomato sauce every single day for the rest of this international crisis, sign me the feck up 😋 Even better if you can get some basil on there. But if everything ready to eat is truly gone, you have to get scrappy. With some oil, flours and dry yeast you can make a pretty killer bread and porridge is literally just oats and water in a bowl.

It's also good to keep in mind that if things get really bad and no one is running the infrastructure, you might experience electricity shortages and even lose running water. That's not happening right now, but keep it in mind if things start getting worse. You might need water and foods that don't need to be kept cool.

Another thing to keep in mind is that viruses mutate. We don't know what kind of mutations coronavirus will go through and if it will become less or more dangerous for humans. So right now the best thing to do is to wait and be prepared. Things might get better soon, or they might get worse, but none of us can really do anything about it right now so remain calm, watch Netflix, make sure you have a few weeks worth of food and supplies in your house.

(My own situation: we have less than 50 cases in Finland but I've no doubt it'll be more eventually. Right now it's not a big issue, all travel is still allowed and people go to work and school as normal. I barely leave the house as it is and I have a ton of supplies in my home, so I'm all good for now. Me and my family live in kind of isolation and most of our village has freezers and basements full of reindeer meat and potatoes and a ton of firewood so we're going to be fine. I really recommend going to countryside if you can, things are a lot easier when you dont have a million neighbours who also want that last roll of toilet paper.)

[faejilly]

i hate how everyone felt the need to dictate what alec should or shouldn’t do to save his bf like if izzy didn't jump in front of simon risking her life to save him&jace didn’t risk everyone and everything for clary, same w clary yet when alec thinks of becoming a vampire as a way to save his fiancé that'll still keep him "alive" they flip out like hypocrites

basically what im saying is they all get to do whatever tf they want without getting alec’s thoughts on the matter and when alec does they don’t care (and the narrative glorifies them and gives them moral high grounds like always) but when it comes to alec and magnus suddenly there has to be a whole meeting for everyone to feel comfortable

Hmm. 

Well nonny. I both agree & disagree with what you’re saying here? Like, it’s a consistent problem in the show that everyone does stupid shit all the fucking time (because it’s a melodrama and also they’re mostly all 19 and I’m sorry to my younger readers but everyone is an idiot at 19, we just are, I’m including myself in this, there is no getting around it; we may all be idiots in different ways but it’s still there!) but Alec is both older & the only one who has a story/character-arc about reconciling one’s mistakes, so he’s the only one who ever has to deal with consequences and that is super shitty. It makes everyone else look like assholes even when they’re not supposed to, and it makes his storyline heavier and sadder in comparison to potential hero-moments that other people get. (He never gets to be right, not really, and that’s exhausting.)

Like, I don’t think anyone’s disagreeing that that’s a thing the show does and also that it’s crap. Alec gets judged and everyone else (mostly) gets away with shit. (Every time Clary charges out of the Institute to Do Things™ in season 1? Alec’s legitimate tactical concerns being framed as jealousy over Jace? Izzy & everything remotely related to her sub-plot in 2a? Every time Jace refused to tell anyone anything about what was wrong in 3a? SUMMONING LILITH IN 3B ANYONE? Dear lords. *sighs forever*)

The counter to this is that Alec gets AGENCY, he gets to make decisions about his life and act on them; even when they’re shitty decisions they’re his, and everyone else is mostly just sitting around and reacting to things all the time. (Especially Magnus in 3b OH GODS I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT, but sorry, different post.)

um

I will say, there’s a meeting about Magnus/Heavenly Fire/Edom because Lilith is going to try and destroy the world and so it’s not just about Alec needing to rescue his fiance. It’s not that everyone got together just to judge Alec for making emotional decisions when he’s, you know, legit emotional about things, they do have other issues to discuss.

I also think there’s a difference between most of the crew’s tendency to impulsive & stupid decisions in the field, and Alec’s ability to think tactically and make a decision and throw himself at it in .5 seconds while everyone else is still standing around going wtf? Like, it’s one of my favorite Alec traits, but it’s a little concerning to watch if you love him and don’t know he’s fiction and thus it will all work out in the end.

Like, you can see Alec, in his head, in the same amount of time it takes everyone else to think: oh shit, can we even get to Edom? What now? going: 

I can’t go to Edom as a Nephilim. 

De-Runing won’t work, still have angel blood, how to get rid of Angel blood? 

Some sort of blood curse would be dangerous and would probably take too long and I don’t even know if it would work, have to be a Downworlder. 

There’s no known way to turn into a Seelie or a Warlock, Werewolf change isn’t guaranteed and won’t go into effect until the next full moon, so that’ll REALLY take too long. Vampire will have to kill me and also might not work but the odds are better than curses or Werewolf and I’ll be ready to go tomorrow… any other way? No? 

“Simon Make me a Vampire”

THAT’S NOT NORMAL. 

It’s delightful and I love him, but that’s not how most people’s brains work, so I don’t begrudge the fact that everyone else around him went: what, NO. 

I went oh no, baby, don’t do that and I was totally with him on the thought process. (He will die and he might stay dead and not get up again. Also what’s he gonna eat in Edom? What happens if he loses control and bites Magnus? What’s he going to do in a hell dimension for FOREVER while Lilith tries to kill Magnus? That’s only the start of a plan, where’s the rest of it? And of course he has to kill himself as part of the process! That’s different on a visceral level than the rest of his family’s ability to throw themselves between someone and a sword in the heat of battle.)

Now, to Alec’s credit, I think he’s completely aware of all those follow-up questions, it’s not that he doesn’t know he only has half a plan… he just doesn’t care. His longevity is never a factor when he’s making tactical decisions. 

Which is traumatic for the people who love him, and gets them being all judgey at him when he does it. (Which may not be the best way to express concern but hey, sometimes people are really dumb even when they mean well.)

So yes, I hate that Alec is consistently held up to higher standards than the rest of the cast, I hate that they let him bear the consequences of everything that happens to everyone ever, that the show mostly framed this as reasonable because it was always busy shoving Clary & Jace into the Next Disaster™ and that no one except Magnus ever even seemed to notice that Alec carried everyone else. 

That said… I don’t think everyone being upset at Alec’s “TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE” plan was really a case of them being hypocritical so much as it was a case of them being in denial about how bad the situation they were in actually was: No, that can’t actually be the only way to do this, there’s got to be a better option, right? 

/shameless self-promotion: for further thoughts on Alec as Vampire, pls see my insomnia-fueled not!fic.

Now, part of their disbelief can be attributed to the fact that none of them (except Simon being raped & murdered by Camille, and Isabelle and her yin fen arc) have ever actually faced the consequences of their terrible decisions before, and in both those cases they kind of… never addressed the consequences again later? But I’ve always taken that as a failure in the story-telling  rather than a character trait, iykwim.

The show never deals with consequences and emotional aftermaths, it’s not that sort of show. Can you blame the characters for that, or do you assume it happens off screen and we just never got to see it, because the story never told us that part for anything? (Except notably Magnus’ flashbacks after the agony rune, and there’s a reason that arc is one of a lot of people’s favorites, and it’s mostly HSjr’s amazing performance but it’s also that it is one of the few moments of proper emotional catharsis & follow-through in the whole series.)

It is really just personal preference, I mean, you have to base the characters on what the show gives us, but sometimes, idk. You can disagree with canon. Sometimes canon is wrong, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with basing your enjoyment of media on that premise.

For me it’s important to acknowledge the limits of the media, the style of the show and the pressures of production and scenes where it seems clear that what they’re trying to say and what ended up on screen may not be the same thing, to take character inconsistencies and wonder which ones are part of the character, (because people are inconsistent) and which ones are a side-effect of production errors. *shrugs* ymmv and all that though

[shadowturtlesstuff]

again but better thoughts while reading

@polandbananas20

 so my spelling is terrible in this but you know i was more focused on the book than how to spell. 

Chapter 1) good intro and good starting tone. The lady next to her sucks. Good small establishment of shane.

chapter2)shane characterisation is still consistent. I like her two new roommates (will be best friends) . My guess is the boy in the kitchen will be pilot. Family means but not intentional. Has no confidence. I was right about the boy

Chapter 3) intro of pilot properly. He's good. I love the inner monologue of shane. Trying to keep eye contact, the surprise of having a normal conversation. It sets her character well. Intro to her blog which i would love to actually read (i hope there's at least one entry we can read) pilot is a musician but not. Business major. What crap. 

Chapter 4) i really feel like shane, she is just typical fangirl/ dork and i love it. Its weird being english and reading about the things that shock them like pasta in bags.i understand the watermelon.we do get to read ‘shanes writing’ but its her personal jornal not her blog.

Chapter 5) fun chapter. Intro to rome. Love the idea that shane is heavy handed and violent. Short, not alot happened other than small character establishment.

Chapter 6)intro to creative writing class which i want/need in my life.more beatles. Woman on plane works at starbucks, will she make more appearances? 

Chapter 7) the drama???or at least wht will be the drama. Pilot has a gf, called amy (wish it was me) (wait no, bc i know that plot doesnt actually like amy anymore bc he obviously likes shane. So i take it back. I want to be shane, i mean i basically am like her but oh well.)

Chapter 8) parents. Overprotective, think they know best. Urgh. guarantee one of shanes new friends fight back to her parents to support her life choices, that do not include doctor.

Chapter 9)gets an internship at travel mag company. Thats it…..

Chapter 10)rome. Looses purse. Pilot to the anxiety riddled rescue by telling his own life story about his wallet to help calm her nerves.distracts her. Basially he would do anything for shane already.re count of rome trip from her jornal again which is a good touch to further the plot. This is making me want to read dan brown (ish) all of two books i own of him

Chapter 11) the postcards are a nice touch that i hope someone reads???? Travel buddies..just saying.chad..hmmm,im like shane,well see if he is good enough for babe. Her GODDAM stupdi mean cousins being mean on her facebook, and babe seeing (best friend moment) about pilot and the whole teasing about having a boyfriend.

Chapter 12) he didnt see (but i think he did but istn sayin anything) paris i shappening. Babe is bff confirmed and i want her as my friend 

Chapter 13)angry birds addiction starts. Level three, weak, shoulder touching it romance confirmed.awwww pilot 100% waited to sleep so he could see shane safe in bed

Chapter 14) pilot with a french accent, enough  said. The flirtinggggg.  The plane woman  is back??in paris with them????

Chapter 15)pilots choices of the back in time thing are both wit shane. Its so obvious and i love it. Pilot as a fake fangirl about the eiffel tower. More flirting,kind of. Oh god chad no.he did it. Goddammit.nooo he wull run babe and shanes friendship and maybe her and pilot. ‘Assbucket’ indeed. Her an pilot are fine and i really believe her and babe will be because when she nearly gets robbed babe giver her a sympathetic smile. Not much to go on but i have hope.

Chapter 16)okay so, fav chapter, she finally spills her guts that she has anxiety basically, that she is premed with strict parents and this is scary whilst pilots lies in bed with her to relax her bc he heard her crying. He only ecoureges her slightly before going back to his bed and sleeping. My heart, i swear, soon the roles reverse and pilot will say why he is in london and all that.

Chapter 17)babe and shane bffs confired. Chad is the worst confirmed. Of course it wasnt  break up call. Of course she wants to vist. Of course pilot is to cowardly to break up and just accepts them going to paris together. Of freaking course.

Chapter 18) do not get over pilot, it wont work. Rugby guy nooooo!im team pilot how dare you kiss shane! Wow, city of glass mention. I want to make a list of every bookmentioned.

Chapter 19) pilot is not himself (obviouls) shane is worried. She is still lying to her parents an feeling bad about. Rugby guy is thankfully a no go. Pilot finds out about the kiss and guy and is clearly silently jealous. 

Chapter 20)aww shane! Im sorry pilot sucks currently. And a stupid guys trip with flat four. No. and devil chairs. 

Chapter 21)1)love the book talk.  The loneliness is kicking in, pilot man up for gods sake

Chapter 22)this red-head plain weirdo is back and going through her list like some sort of mentore. Omg!!! No. amy is here, i dont hatte her but can she not. Also, her dad…. No! (this is the stand up moment i was on about, i hope)

Chapter 23) i do not like her dad. At all. Nooo shane...no. they found out. And acted like assholes.

Chapter 24) n1!ahhhh no! Amy has her notebook. The end is nigh.im going to cry i feel like shane. 

Chapter 25) the family dinner-family outing. Niether of them manuped and shane is depressed

Chapter 26)back in america. Still hasn’t told pilot but you know it is a slow burn

Chapter 27) I, wait? Marry, some guy? Like no. I know it’s been what six years but no. I refuse.i don’t like this so called Melvin. It’s okay she doesn’t want to marry him. She goes to see pilot and finally mans up and tells him and asks if she made it and and pilot finally man’s up and tells her no she didn’t. They get stuck in an elevator

Chapter 28) the elevators doing something. Shane wants to re do London cuz she hates life

Chapter 1?) they are both back in London? Both having the same what ever is happening? 

  Chapter 2) omg. Plane lady took them back to staRt over and pilots mad about it (obv)

Chapter 3)so… they got mad but started over and I’m excited. 100%they won’t press the restart button. I’m calling it now. Cuz pilot knows he now has a chance to do the what if’s/

Chapter 4) they keep there distance but we all know it won’t last

Chapter 5) tipsy Shane? Shawarma

Chapter 6) babe thinksthere is something going on with them( again)

Chapter7)the story about fake pilot, and the kiss. Ahhhhhhg

Chapter 8)they found the button. Shane doesn’t want to go back. I do t want them to go back. They don’t go back thank god

Chapter 9) da Vinci code flirting somehow.. Shane tells him it won’t happen u less he breaks up with last Amy.

 Chapter 10) he will break up with Amy and laris is gonna happen. 

Chapter 11) so Shane is happy again, pilot broke up with amy. Shane tried to make peace with the devil chair.

Chapter 11) they are so adorable. Aswwwwewhwhehruysnwjw

 Chapter 12) Uwuwnfhueia we get more Shane and pilot flirting, 

Chapter 13) the opposite game is adorable. I like that they get to be themselves together without the awkwardness. The start of the move game. Thats my fav. 

Chapter 14) they still have the angry birds obssesion but unlike me and supercard they know when to stop.the dance ‘move’ ahh i love. The line ‘but you do.’ just shows how much they know each other and how pilot would do anything to make her smile. And the lost move (not really a move but totally a move.) once again proves their love. Also we had that plot moment where he talks about why h chose to go to london. I adore shanes rant (?) about the things she loves. And then pilot doing the same thing. Shane vs chair is my life, like i battle chairs too. 

Chapter 15) what is tfios? Ooohhh. Fault in our stars. (i googled it)i probably shouldve known by the whole always part. The dance move came back to bite pilot in the ass and now they are dancing together. Ew chad. Yes shane! That is what chad deserves. 

Chapter 16) they get intimate and gigly and happy and aaaawwwhww

Chapter 17) im glad shane still rememebers to be friends with babe and not forget her in her lovestick state currently.

Chapter 18) her postcard….the questions that haunt her so much. Sort of accepting them herself too. She finally got to do wrecking ball, they miss internship , oh no…. Start if a downall?? 

Chapter 19) shane and pilot have fallen HARD

Chapter 20) the article is off the table. Amy is there. What the hell. No. omg pilot no, you moron. THEY BROKE UP!!! Which is fair, a break is needed. They both get back on track and then try and find a balance. Hopefully. Oh her laptop….shit...the feels when all your work is just gone. Tries to reset bc she is so depressed bc she thinks she failed again. 

Chapter 21) she cant go back (thankfully) a bookstore is always a good haven to go to when your breaking down.

Chapter 22)the redemtion (?) time to try and fix everything and get back on track.the determination and the readiness to try and make everything better for herswelf, herself, and no one else is good. She makes friends with the people in her office and works harder than befire, try to get herself out of her comfort zone and experience things

Chapter 23) the confrontation with her parents. Oh god. I hope this goes well. Its going as well as it can go. Im happy shane is sticking up for her dream so she can be happy, uugh the whole dad speech of ‘i do everything for you, i know best because im older,’ i hate it. Ooohh she is making up with leo, talking ot him this time. Im happy. Leo is gay. Cool. i hate how he got broken up with becuase of his stupid family, it sucks. ‘There is no normal.’ perfect words. 

Chapter 24) her thing is in the thing!!!( also good job me with words.) her article got published (there we go)this is where she learns she can be with pilot and be successful because tracy is with a famous author and they make it work with harder schedules. Trys to talk to her parents. This time she will make there relationship work.

Chapter 25)urgh ‘you live under my roof,on my dime…’ blah blah blah. We hate controlling parents that dont see that overprotecting and controlling their childs life does more damage than good. Babe suggest self discovery trip. Babe is a grat friends. 

Chapter 26)the button thing will work…’im mad at pilot. Or am i mad at me.’ she cracked the code. She loathed herself because of her fear of failing, but because this time she worked on herself to make herself happy she no longer hates herself. Yet she still feels the same (ish) feeling that even though she worked harder and got further that she has no summer job when she gets back to the states, her parents still wont allow her choice of work.PILOTS BACK!!!!!!! She was about to press the button and he swooped in with his music.

Chapter 27) he still follows her blog and got help from babe. His speech, finished with lamppost. Where can i get a pilot?he uploaded their song. Working through the divorce thing again but it will be better because he has shane to talk to about it. Ahhh she got a job!!! Happy ending!!! My heart!!!eeeee…

epilogoue) she becomes a successful author. Her parents have accepted her and support her. Pilots a musician. He takes her to the weird plane lady and they gobe the locket back, then he makes the ultimate move. With pictures of where they fell in love he uses the beatles russain doll things to hide a ring and when she finds it she obviously says yes. And that its unfair cuz she cant top that move. 

sooo...thats it.

i really enjoyed this book. i cannot wait for her next book. this post is longwinded i apologize but oh well? again i will link my website and review as soon as its done. so far in about five hours all i have is a paragraph so it may not be as soon as i want it to be

[wlwparkner]

a love like war, by all time low

i have such a thing about writing CONCEPTS for songfics but never actually writing the songfics?? so have this mess of an idea for this song. all time low belongs to parkner every atl song sounds like i could write a parkner fic to it. this is uhhhh a bit nsfw in places tho so look out

this is such a good opportunity for soft!goodguy!harley and asshole!genius!billionaire!playboy!peter

‘make a wish on our sorry little hearts have a smoke pour a drink steal a kiss in the dark’ peter stark- tony stark’s adoptive son (i fucking hate this trope but it WORKS ok??)- is basically a young tony stark, he goes out partying one night & meets harley + they end up fucking (‘fingernails on my skin like the teeth of a shark im intoxicated by the lights’)

peter definitely knows theres something more than just basic attraction there + maybe thats why he calls the number harley left (its just for sex its just for sex its just for sex) keep telling yourself that peter

‘in the chill of your stare i am painfully lost like a deer in the lights of an oncoming bus’ harley KNOWS peter stark isnt good for him they lead totally different lives but ‘for the thrill of your touch i will shamefully lust as you tell me we’re nothing but trouble’ both of them know what they have will never work but theyre magnetic to each other

‘heart’s on fire tonight feel my bones ignite feels like war, war, feels like war, war’ eventually it gets to a point neither of them can deny its beyond the physical now but they still dont acknowledge it- theyre still having hate sex tbH

‘we go together or we dont go down at all we go together or we dont go down at all woah’ harley accidentally tells peter he loves him and he shuts the fuck down ghosts harley’s ass

‘fail safe trigger lock down call wipe the dry clean slate quick sound the alarm’ they meet again and have the MADDEST sex peter books an entire hotel suite and they bang on every piece of furniture… several times… top!harley because fuck you thats why he deserves to choke peter with his cock to shut him up

‘no escape from the truth and the weight of it all i am caught in the web of a lie’ after some particularly intense sex peter,,,,,, breaks down,,,, about his life…. because, like, he KN OWS hes got it so much better than almost everyone else and god knows he shouldnt be complaining when he doesnt even know what harley has going on in his life but sometimes its so hard!!!! because!!! everyone!!! expects!!! you!! to!! be!! and!! act! a!! certain!! way! and!!! he didnt even want this to be his life you mustve seen the shit he was doing when he was 15!!! but look at him now at 19! all the media cares about is the girls! and the parties! do you know hes never even smoked a cigarette?? and hes very openly bi! and advocates for lgbtq rights and protests against climate change and racism!! but nobody cares!!! and he just wants someone to care, fuck, harley, i just need somebody who cares

...ouch

‘and the bitch of it all is that i’m running from the desire of the people to whom i belong’ is basically what he says- he’s running from the media but,,,, thats where he comes from and he wouldnt have any of the good in his life if it werent for them and ‘at the end of the day you can tell me im wrong cause you went to all of this trouble’ would harley have even noticed him if he wasnt peter stark?? would he be putting up with his bullshit now??? because this cant just be because hes good in bed ok??

i love you, stark, you fucking idiot