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noira-l · 6 months ago

Text

𝐒𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐭-𝐮𝐩

⋆ ★ '𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞' - 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

chapter summary: your first major argument that really shakes the foundations of everything, including your arrangement and its soul.

pairing: gojo satoru x f!sorcerer reader

warnings: is that angst?, hurt/comfort?, swearing, argument, adult life is kinda hard, mature themes, satoru is trying to say something, utahime is the best, spoilers (manga, anime, movie).

author's note: well, I had a rough day. Also, question. Should I open a tag list? Someone ask about this (I remeber you, love ~) So what do you think about the chapter and the idea? Let me know :3

"Listen to me, I've had enough. Screw it." You threw a kitchen cloth over the countertop.

"I'm here to help YOU. Not to do everything for you! You've dumped everything on me and you don't give a shit about anything," you shout, feeling like throwing it all away. He frowned. "You think I'm going to look after the kids by myself and you're going to have free evenings to go off on your own no matter where? Oh no no no. I'm not your fucking housekeeper for you to treat me like that." You pointed your finger at him, your tone rising even more. You felt like starting to laugh at the anger. "Fuck you. I'm not going to put up with this kind of treatment for a second longer." Your step left the sound of a loud thud. He started to follow you.

"You agreed to this yourself, you knew it would be difficult!" you felt like punching him. You picked up your backpack from the wardrobe. You were silent.

"I need time to myself, these missions are exhausting! Still! Taking over the clan, doesn't make it any easier for me at all, you know!" you didn't listen to him at this point, you were on the verge of exploding and you didn't want to do it.

"Don't act like a brat and listen to me!!!" he grabbed you firmly by the arm, you pushed him forcibly away from you, putting your shirts in your backpack. You packed the first necessary things that came your way. Your face was boiling with anger, you felt like shouting everything in his face, but you knew it wouldn't change anything. You clenched your teeth tightly and bit your tongue repeating to yourself - pack, don't think, leave. You passed him on your way out of the room. You were already at the door, started putting on your jacket, when he added:

"FINE! Go away, I never needed you anyway, you stupid idiot!"

The sound of the door slamming was everywhere.

★ --

calling…calling…calling…

"Hello?"

"Hi Utahime…" your voice gave away too much at that moment, as always "Could I stay with you for a while? I can't go back to the flat or to the facility" you grabbed your head, trying to contain your emotions. You were met with silence on the other side "Sorry to impose…. I won't… sorry… I'll go now- I…"

"N-no! It's all right! I'm just worried, what's wrong?" you could hear her worrying about you, you were on the verge of crying, all the anger was slowly draining out of you.

"U-Utahime…" your voice was shaking.

"Never mind, wait for me, please, I'll pick you up myself, I'll be there soon. Wait for me where you usually do, can you do it?"

"Mhm." tears began to run down your cheeks.

A long sigh "What did that idiot do to you this time?"

★ --

You spent the evening glued to a box of ice cream and a comfortable couch in Utahime's flat. You sat in her borrowed clothes, covered in a blanket, gesturing heavily as you expressed your emotions.

It started with an angry session in which you spouted off about what a horrible asshole Gojo is. You recounted in detail, how he forgot to pick up the kids from school, leaving them out in the cold often. How he was constantly late, whether to go shopping with you or to a parents' meeting at school. How he avoided household chores, which you later had to do after missions, and at worst his duties were filled by Tsumiki and Megumi. It wasn't that they didn't have household duties or didn't know how to take care of the house - no. You didn't know any more mature or understanding children, it was just that Gojo lived there too and should contribute as much as you did. For the last months, everything was done by you: laundry, shopping, cleaning, doing homework with Tsumiki and helping Megumi with calligraphy.

On top of that, you had missions that were also exhausting you mentally, coming home battered, in wounds because you didn't want to wake Shoko up at 3am and preferred to wait until morning. And every morning it was you, who walked the children to school. It doesn't matter if you were beating a powerful curse last night or if you slept at all. They always had breakfast ready, clothes and your smile every morning. You knew they deserved it - you wanted to give it to them.

As you came home from school on the days like this, did your shopping, went to Shoko's and came back, you thought of nothing else, but to lie down and rest. It was then that you allowed yourself moments of weakness, where you could carelessly cry all over the house, with no embarrassment that the children, or worse Satoru, would hear you. Your life has been awful for the last while. There have been better moments, but there have been far more of the worse ones.

It was then, that the crying session began.

You couldn't stop the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. You didn't say anything anymore. You just cried, hugging your pillow tighter.

Utahime only saw you cry once, that time when Geto left. And that was the only time. This one was the second.

She handed you a pack of tissues, which you took advantage of by resisting new tears. After which you immediately went back to hugging the lovely cushion.

Why did you agree to all this in the first place?

Why did you allow yourself to do something like this?

Looking after children is not an easy thing to do, especially when you are alone.

Suguru would never treat you like this.

If you thought before that you were more or less in control of your crying, so after that thought, you definitely lost all the control you had. It was no longer a cry. It was hysterical. And you are not going to snap out of it any time soon.

★ --

"What are you doing?" the white-haired sat on the steps, drinking a can of sweet drink. They had just finished their training.

"I'm going to talk to her." said the raven-haired getting up from his seat, heading towards the dormitories.

"HUH? What for? She's the one who blew up at you, after all. She should be making an effort now." He crushed the can with cursed energy. His friend sighed.

"You don't understand, do you? It is not that clear, besides I care about her. I understand her view of the situation and even though it's wrong, I'm willing to talk to her about it." Suguru put his hands in his pockets slowly moving away.

"Stupid, why bother." Satoru rolled his eyes looking at the training field.

"Because she is important to me, her opinion, thoughts and feelings are important." he turned towards him, he continued. "A joint solution to the problem is important. In moments like this, it's crucial to push away your tantrums and reach out to someone." Suguru looked ahead "There have been situations where I have made a mistake and she has come to me on her own" he smiled affectionately "I appreciate her for this approach and I love her for it."

Satoru opened his eyes, waking up from the slumber that had caught him. He rubbed his eyes, glancing at the clock; it was late at night. Instinctively, he glanced to the other side of the bed to find it empty and cold.

He clutched his head, remembering what had happened. He growled quietly. You haven't come back yet, it's past day two, he's starting to worry, the siblings keep asking about you too. And he doesn't know what to answer them. Should he say you're gone because of him? He's already punishing himself enough in his head.

He nervously turned on his bed. What should he do?

He knows perfectly well what he should do.

To go to you and apologise is difficult.

On the very first day he called all your friends, to find out where you were. Utahime only failed to answer, so he was sure you were there.

He growled rolling over onto his stomach in frustration. He hugged the pillow tightly, so that if it were alive he would have strangled it.

Why do you make everything so difficult?

It was supposed to be a simple arrangement: you help him with the kids, he provides everything you need. Like some stupid traditional marriage - he thought.

This was not how he had imagined it. In his mind, taking care of a kid was not that difficult. Oh boy, he was wrong. Originally he was only going to take Megumi in, you were the one who insisted that he couldn't separate siblings like that, and since you'd already agreed to the arrangement, you also had a say. He only agreed to it because you insisted.

He did not expect things to go this far. He never imagined that he would have to falsify the children's documents (Tsumiki was, according to the law, already unfit for adoption), look for a suitable flat that you could barely afford at first, or bother with the authorities and social services.

He himself was also too young to understand many things.

He knew that anything was better than letting the Zen'in clan get their hands on these kids.

He also knew that he would not have succeeded in many things without you.

His face clung completely to the pillow. It was your pillow, it smelled of you. He took it from your side as soon as he lay down.

Everything had been getting to him lately. Higher-ups had some doubts about him taking over the clan, which was ridiculous in general. His mother found out about his secret marriage, which meant he had to listen for hours on ‘how he had disgraced the whole clan’. He had to work twice as much, having a child and expenses were really considerable. Even if you shared expenses, Gojo did not yet have access to the clan's money, to throw his own money on left and right with ease. He also stopped feeling like a teenager at this point, by taking on these responsibilities, he has accept to a certain extent, the fate of an adult.

He didn't even notice, how much he started to run away from it, to distance himself, from his problems and worries. He was never in the habit of sharing his true feelings or emotions. Opening up to someone was blocked again when his best friend left. He knew, that he had let you look inside him once, at one memorable conversation. He was so weak in that moment, so shattered, after all that had happened. And you? You embraced him then, with a tenderness and care he could never have dreamed of. He knew that if only he opened up again now, you would do exactly the same. But he couldn't afford to do it again.

He didn't want to feel that he wasn't able to cope with something, again. It's silly, isn't it? He, the strongest, vulnerable?

But you saw him vulnerable. You didn't laugh at him, didn't mock him in that moment. You were tender, you showed him understanding, even if sometimes you didn't quite understand what he wanted to communicate to you, you tried. You hugged him close, stroked his hair, telling him that you would be there for him, whenever he needed you - you would be there for him, as long as he was there for you.

He wasn't there for you, was he?

He was so focused on himself that he forgot about you. You've had a tough time too, particularly with him. You were alone with it all. No. He left you alone with it all. That's not what your agreement was about, that's not how he promised to behave, that's not how he really was.

He acted like an asshole. He dumped all his responsibilities on you and yet had the audacity to complain, that you had not fulfilled one little thing, which was picking up his ceremonial outfit from the laundry, what he should do, but he was sent on mission.

A small tear appeared in the corner of his crystal eyes. It disappeared very quickly absorbed by the pillow. He shouldn't treat you like that. He sighed breathlessly, banging his head against the soft pillow.

Tomorrow he will go to apologize to you. Witnter snow was slowly falling outside the window.

He won't last another day without you.

★ --

"Utahime~~ Nice to see-" she closed the door in front of his nose, sighing with irritation, regretting that her apartment door did not have a peephole.

You just had breakfast, looking like a total crap. You just got up, even though it was late in the morning, according to your routine you should have taken the siblings to school long ago.

Hearing his voice immediately lifted your gaze from your plate. How did he find you? Why did he come here?

Ah, well, yes, he probably came to ask you to fulfill your part of the bargain and stop dabbling. You sighed. You couldn't stay at Utahime's for that long anyway, you didn't want to bother her, besides, you hadn't packed enough clothes and necessities.

You didn't want to see him at this point, but you had no choice. You spent the last two days crying, you were fed up with it yourself.

You moved away from the kitchen table, put your plate in the sink and headed for the door.

"Go away! Don't you understand that she doesn't want to see you!" Utahime shouted at the door, angrly.

"Ee~ Come on, open the door. I want to talk to her, she won't answer my calls and texts, what a man can do?" his tone did not at all betray how concerned he was about the situation. His mask was perfect enough, that he was even able to smile a little in this situation. Although he was quite cold, despite really warm winter jacket, in his kinda shakey hands he held a small bouquet of flowers behind him.

"Go to hell you moron, I also, don't want to see you too, go away or I'm calling authorities!"

"Don't be like that! Five minutes and I'll be gone! Do a friend a favour~"

"I'm not your friend!"

"Like hell you are! I saved you many times, that counts right? Like that time when I excorcise that curse that took you hostage for two days. Or that time when I-"

Utahime was about to hurl another insult in his direction when you placed your hand on her shoulder. “It's okey, give me a moment,” you whispered it so quietly that you wondered if you really said it. Her gaze expressed concern and yours expressed certainty. He had found you anyway, so why drag this out any longer? You knew he won't leave until you talk to him. “Call me as if you need something, or as if he doesn't give you a break." the violet-haired fell silent, moving away from the door and walking deeper into the apartment.

He didn't stop talking when you stood in front of the closed door. His yapping was unbearable, happily listing or coloring situations that happened to him with Utahime.

"Or when I-" he shut up when you open the door. He looked at you.

"You look like shit" he said.

"Thanks for noticing, something else to say?"

You had bags under your eyes, your voice was raspy and you looked paler than usual. When you looked in his direction, he could see how red your eyes were. He really messed up. He took a deep breath.

"If you came here to remind me of my duties, or to tell me that I'm going on a mission soon, or just to make fun of me, then go away and save us the time." you were so exhausted, however, seeing his face, which was smiling just a moment ago, gave you a new drive.

"I-"

"Ughh.. I am so done with this." you growled "You come here after two days and the first thing you find is that I look like shit? Thanks, I didn't notice!"

"Listen.." his voice is kinda...soft?

"NO! You listen!"

"O-okey..."

"Why are you acting like a brat? I've been doing practically everything for you for the past year! You disappeared for a few days, you didn't say anything, it's cool, I understand, you need space, yadda, yadda.." your voice has started to rise again "But damn it, that's not what we agreed on, I didn't sign up for doing all the work for this part of your life!" you clenched your hands into fists.

"Besides, I also have my own life, right? I'm not entitled to have a free time? Do you know how many times I came home after a mission completely tired? I wasn't at Shoko's more than once, I just went straight to make breakfast, because I knew YOU wouldn't do it!" he see how your expression is changing, now tears appear in your angry eyes.

"I-" he tried again, only to see that his voice stattered.

"Why do you do this to me?! Why can't you treat me like a normal human being?! What did I do to you?!" An avalanche of questions flowed from your mouth, again and again, just as tears covered your cheeks "Am I just a plaything to you?" you started to shake.

"N-no!" he tightened his grip on the bouquet.

"I fell so fucking used!" you started sobbing "You used me and my kindness to make life easier for yourself-" you sniffle "-you never cared about anyone or anything at all!" you looked at his winter boots, although your vision blurred completely.

"Stop! No-I-"

"I can understand, really, you may not feel anything towards these children, but me? I thought you really cared then! I thought you were sincere and open then, when…. we had… this conversation" you were slowly running out of words, the pace of this conversation was slowing down. You almost feel panic in your vains.

"Stop!" he grabbed you by the shoulder with one hand, and put the other to your lips, letting go of the bouquet of flowers, which fell to the floor. You didn't say anything anymore, you couldn't, he's hands were trembling.

"Please.. j-just..listen.." you wanted to turn away, he stopped you. The sight of you crying internally caused him pain, somehow.

"I-.. I am sorry..you're right." his voice was almost silent, despite the fact that he was close to you. Your eyes met his and despite the layer of glass, you knew he was looking at you.

"I-I am an idiot" his breathing was deep, as if saying these words made it difficult for him, or a great struggle, took his hand from your mouth, placed it on your cheek, his head went down "I've had.. I.. well.. the thing is.." he swallowed the massive lump that had gathered in his throat

"N-no.. ple-" you tried to say something.

"This.. this is hard..!! Just.." now his voice is trembling, you don't know what is happening.

"You.. don't know how hard are thing for me now.. I've.." long pause filled with nervous breath "Listen.. I know.. I've been awful to you.. y-you didn't deserve it of course.. I hurt you.. and I-I am sorry, so so sorry.."

"If this is some kind of trick to get me back-"

"No!" he imidietly put his sight to you, he look terriefied, you could see throught the glasses "I mean it.. " you looked away. He signed nervously.

"I left you with all of this.. I let you down.. I'm sorry.." he swiped away any tear that come close to falling down your red cheeks "I don't expect this to fix.. I m-mean my apology.. to fix anything.. but please" his hand was so cold, yet the sensation from this was so calming.

"Let me get this right.. I-I-I will never, ever let you down again.. one chance.. If you want to!" Do you want to? "If no.. I-I promise to back off! I leave you alone! I-I'll never hurt you again! and I'll do anything you say!" his words were speeding up "I will provide..I will make everything right.. I will try to.." his words were rapid, so fast, he almost couldn't keep up with saying every one of it. You started sobbing again. To much emotions cought you off guard.

"n-no don't cry.. please" he wispered, his second hand also landed on your cheek, you closed your eyes unable to even look at him.

He drew himself to you, embracing you whole. You could then feel how much his chest was rising in stress, and how wet his jacket was from the melted snow. His hair was also slightly wet, the glasses at his nose irritated your skin, they were so cold. But this embrace was warm, he held you like something important, precious even. Large hands stroked your back, his breath started to calm down, just like yours. You didn't know how long he held you like this.

"Please.." he started again "Try to forgive me. I.." at this moment you hugged him too, he pressed himself more to you.

"I don't want to lose you." You almost missed it, it was soft and silenty brethless, but it was full of emotions.

You waited, a long moment. A long moment when you thought about everything. You were thinking about him, your life, Tsumiki and Megumi. You didn't want to lose him too. In some way. He was the only thing that held you together. Also you don't know what you should do with your life, and he gave you a purpouse. A purpouse you were desperatly lacking. The kids gave you hope, and even thought you'll need to listen to his annoying voice every day, this is the price you could accept.

"Fine.." you said, gathering your voice to even be able to speak. You are far too soft for him. Oh, for fuck sake. "I.. forgive you.. for now." he froze.

You slowly left his embrace. Then grabbed him tightly by the collar of his jacket, pulling his face toward you "But if you do that again, I'm leaving. And don't even try to look for me. Understood?" you wanted to sound menacing, but your voice was so hoarse and the height difference between you was large enough, that it didn't work out well.

"Of course" smile appeared on his face again "You look cute y'know.." he mumbled, you let him go, growling, you looked down and see something behind his foot.

"What's that?" you asked, he quickly kicked something behind him, you heard something hit the ground on the bottom of the staircase.

"What?" he turned around to look behind and back, playfully "I don't see antything." his smile was so bright.

"Never mind." you signed.

"Let me take you home." this offer suprised you, Satoru could tell by the look "The kids miss you.. and I took your favourite take out." you looked at him suspiciously "I also cleaned the house and took kids to school."

"Now I don't belive you." you crossed your arms, he laught.

"You'll see when we get home." he corrected his glasses still smiling. "I did pretty amazing job, maybe even better than you."

"You're starting again?"

bonus:

You left Utahime's apartment thanking her for all she had done for you, saying that if she needed help, you were always available to her. She hugged you goodbye, measuring Satoru with a menacing gaze, and he waved her off, smiling goofily.

Walking down the staircase, Satoru took your backpack from you and gave you your gloves. The snow was still falling outside and it was quite cold.

When you were at the exit you noticed out of the corner of your eye a colorful bouquet of flowers, it was really pretty and quite small. You are sure you have seen these colors somewhere.

“Look.” you pointed your finger at the bouquet “Someone left it here, I wonder who it was for?” he scoffed.

“Quite ugly for me.” He didn't even look at it, just opened the door in front of him.

tl: @kalopsia-flaneur

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sqquidzz · 5 months ago

Text

If the Hashira Adopted a Child with You

Hashiras x fem!y/n

Summary: How would the Hashira feel about adopting a child and the process of raising them together and living life. Includes Rengoku, Sanemi, Gyomei, and Obanai.

Tags: Fluff, Insecurities, Brief Mentions of Past Trauma, Married!Y/n, Some Angst, Crying, Arguments, Major Character Death, Grieving, Sadness and Fluff with Bittersweet Endings, Mentions of Blood and Gore, Injury, !Spoilers for Demon Slayer Manga!, etc.

A/N: Hello lovelies!!! I'm so sorry I haven't been posting content. I was dealing with a few family issues and wasn't able to get to writing. Thankfully, the issues have been resolved, however, I never got back to writing because I almost forgot about this account! I hope you guys will enjoy this fic! This fic idea was courtesy of @rupkatha-banerjee!

Rengoku:

When you first mention the idea of adopting a child, Rengoku immediately agrees that it is a great idea with his signature smile

You have been hesitant to ask him if adopting a child is okay because you are aware of his family's traditions of how as the woman holds the child in her womb, she must stare at a fire to bring the bright colour of flames to the child's hair

The nest day, Remgoku insists to take you to an orphanage that he had come across during patrol the night before

You both take a wagon into the city, and soon you come across the orphanage that Rengoku mentioned

You walk in and are immediately greeted by the sight of children running around everywhere, and the owner comes over to greet you

You spend some time talking and playing with the children, but you notice a small boy sitting in the corner of the main room alone

You come over to him and greet him, but he says nothing, staring at you behind his blonde bangs with dead orange eyes

You realize that the boy's eyes and hair distinctly remind you of Rengoku, and feeling empathy for the boy who seems to be unable to get over the fact that his family was gone, you decide to adopt him

At first, it was very hard

The boy would not say one word to you or Rengoku, sitting in the corner of the bedroom, simply staring into nothingness

But that didn't stop you, and you say by him every day talking to him about your life and Rengoku and all the other Hashira

You would especially tell him about Tanjiro's adventures with Zenitsu and Inosuke, laughing to yourself as you recount the hilarious events (you got to know these things thanks to Rengoku)

Soon enough, the boy, who you decided to name Yuki, warmed up to both you and Rengoku, and was talking non stop with both of you, playing outside and helping around the house

You spent as much time with him as you could, teaching him basic skills and educating him

He got to meet all the Hashira and met the infamous trio as well as Nezuko, who he surprisingly warmed up to the most

However, when you got the news that Rengoku had passed on during a mission, you and Yuki we're devastated

Yuki shut down completely, not speaking to anyone, leaving you back at step one

Seeing the state of your son, you cried and cried tears that were bottled up ever since your childhood

Through your sobs and wails, you could see your son moving towards you

You realize he was embracing you, and from that day, you both promised to save each other and never leave each other, no matter the cost

You continued to raise Yuki, watching him as he followed his father's footsteps to become the new Flame Hashira

You were concerned that he would one day not come back, but you had faith in him

One fateful day, your time had come to an end

You had successfully lived to old age and passed on peacefully with your son by your side, as he kept his promise to never leave you, ever

Sanemi:

When you first proposed to adopt a child, Sanemi was afraid

He was scared that he was not cut out to be a parent due to his severe anger issues and aggressive nature, especially after thinking about what happened with Genya

Obviously, Sanemi being Sanemi, he lashed out at you, asking: "Why the fuck would we need to adopt a kid!? Stop being fucking stupid!"

Instead of bursting into tears and running away like he thought you would, you hugged him from behind and said with a smile: "You'll be an amazing father, trust me."

By the time Sanemi turns around, there are tears in his eyes, and he silently cried into your shoulder with you rubbing comforting circles into his back

The next day, you two both go to the orphanage in the city in hopes of adopting a child

As you enter, you immediately get along with the kids, playing and talking with them as Sanemi sticks to one corner

However, a little boy about 7 years old comes up to Sanemi and asks in a harsh tone "What do you think you're doing oldie?!"

Sanemi being Sanemi again, he retorts back yo the kid, and before you can stop them, they are both having a screaming match

You realize in that moment that this not is the right one for your Sanemi

He was able to match Sanemi's temper, and he seemed to be enjoying himself just as much as you could see that Sanemi was

You decide to take him home, and while the owner tried to warn you, you simply tell her that he's the right one

However, the nest few days in the house were chaos, to say the least

The house was never quiet, with yelling and screaming bouncing off the walls so often that you were temped to get earplugs, but you wouldn't trade it for the world

The boy you adopted, who you named Sake, seemed harsh on the outside, but was a real sweetheart on the inside, just like your Sanemi

However, it took just one sentence to ruin this to what seemed like beyond repair

The normal arguments were going on between Sanemi and Sake, but it seemed to be more serious this time

Before you could intervene, Sanemi, out of a fit of rage, yelled, "Just because we adopted you from that orphanage doesn't mean that we won't dump you back there!"

The silence hung like a blanket that was too heavy, suffocating everyone under the weight

Tears rolled down Sale's face as he looked to Sanemi in shock, betrayal and hurt shining in his eyes

You watched as Sake's eyes dulled so much that his eyes almost looked black, void of emotion, and his tears dry up instantly

You recognise the look on his face

That was the look you had on your face when you were abandoned by your family, a defense reflex for when you knew that if you were to cry, things would just become even worse

"Sake....?" You called to him, but he doesn't seem to see you

Before you or Sanemi can do anything, you hear something come from his mouth, too quiet to be heard the first time, but then you realize what he is saying

"I'm sorry.... I'm sorry...."

You feel like bursting into tears upon hearing this, and you go to hug your son

You got a glimpse of Sanemi's face, who was equally as shocked, not only by his words, but the reaction that he got due to them

Sanemi managed to snap out of it, and immediately came to join your hug, apologising for what he said, trying to reassure him that they wouldn't abandon him and telling Sake to not apologize for what Sanemi had done

At these words, Sake broke, sobbing into you and Sanemi, wailing so loudly that your's and Sanemi's hearts broke

After what seemed like forever, Sake had fallen asleep, exhausted by all the crying

As you tucked him in, Sanemi sat in the kitchen, a look of hopelessness on his face

"I told you I'm not cut out to be a father," Sanemi's voice echoed in the startlingly quiet house

"Mistakes happen, but it is up to us to fix them," you simply reply as you both watch the sunset, too filled with sorrow to say any more words than those

The next day, you wake to find Sake not in bed

This frightens you, and you rush out of your room in search of him, only to find him sitting outside, plucking the grass

You remember one memory where Sake and Sanemi were fighting about pulling the grass, and they both ended up pulling grass from the ground and throwing it at each other

They both got an earful from you, but you could see them grinning at each other like idiots

That memory made you smile, but your smile faded when you saw the dull look in your son's eyes

You don't even realize it, but Sanemi walks towards Sake from behind you and kneels infront of him, looking him straight in the eye

"No matter what I or you say or do, I will never abandon you like I was abandoned, never," Sanemi whispered as he looks at Sake for any sign of acknowledgement

After a few agonizing minutes, Sake's head slowly rises, and you can see tears glinting in his eyes

"You mean it?" he asks, and you know he's trying to stop his tears

"Yes, both of us do," Sanemi promises, and you give Sake a smile when he looks to you

Another minute passes by, and your concern slowly grows, before the tears in Sake's eyes overflow and he's jumping into Sanemi's arms, wailing loudly again, but this time in relief

You join their hug and tears of your own are shed, and you all sit there together on the grass, sobing and comforting each other, knowing that this quite promise to be together always was made

After that day, everything goes back to normal, and you witness as your son grows up to become a Demon Slayer alongside his father, creating a new breathing technique based on Wind Breathing and rising the ranks

As the final battle comes and goes, you find yourself at Sanemi's side as he quickly approaches his demise due to the Demon Slayer Mark

You and Sake hold both his hands as he takes his last breath, never leaving his side until the very end

Despite your Sanemi being gone, you try your best to live and enjoy life

You visit the Kamados and Zenitsu, Insokue, Kanao, and Genya with Sake, and you help take care of them with the occasional visits from Urokodaki and Tengen Uzui

As the days go by, you soon find yourself lying on your bed, drawing your final breaths with Sake at your side

You can tell he is trying to hold back his tears, but they flow anyway, and you brush them away with your boney, frail hands

You lips barely mouth the words I love you before your last breath falls from your lips and you pass on peacefully of old age with Sake at your side, and you know he will stay at your side, always

Gyomei:

When you tell Gyomei that you would like to adopt a child, tears stream down Gyomei's cheeks

You were afraid you made him cry out of sadness, but he reassures you that he cries tears of joy

Out of excitement, you drag Gyomei with you to the city is hopes of finding a child in the main orphanage of the city

However, before you arrived, you caught a glimpse of a little girl in an alley dressed in rags, desperately feeding a ghastly thin cat a small piece of meat

You approach her from behind and tap her arm

She immediately flinches away from the touch, looking up at you with frightened eyes

Gyomei slowly follows, and seeing his holding form, the girl crawls back helplessly, tears starting to stream down her dirt ridden cheeks

Gyomei simply sits down infront of the girl and holds out his large but surprisingly welcoming hand

The girl takes his hand hesitantly, and finds that ur is warm, though hard to the touch, is pleasantly comforting

It seems that exhaustion took her over as she slumps into his hand, her head resting on the hand that lays on Gyomei's warm palm

The cat she was feeding also goes to brush up against his hand and curls next to it contently

You knew from the moment you must take her and the cat in as your children

The first few days was filled with a lot of cleaning

The girl, who you decided to name her Sayo at Gyomei's request, was frightened at first by the unfamiliar environment, but soon warmed up to getting in the bath as Gyomei guided her

To give her privacy, he stepped out as you washed her, and you got to know how she ended up on the streets

You reassure her that you and Gyomei will take care of her, and that her cat is also safe, as Gyomei was washing him outside in the garden

She told you the cat's name was Cookie, because she loved cookies but could never have them often because they were too expensive

As you walk out of the shower with her, you find Gyomei on the porch feeding Cookie some meat from your and his kitchen

Sayo walked over to Gyomei and sat next to him with no fear, touching him lightly as if she didn't want to scare him since he was blind

Gyomei smiled slightly, and both Sayo and Gyomei sat together petting Cookie, as you watched them bond silently with only the setting sun as their witness

As the years went by, Sayo got more used to you and Gyomei

She met all the Hashira, the Kamados and Tanjiro's crew, as well as Master Kagaya and those at the butterfly estate

She especially got along with Kanao, with both of them being soft spoken and their similar pasts

As Sayo grew, she helped out at the butterfly estate, especially as the Demon Slayers prepared for the final battle, helping develop the Anti-Kibutsuji drug

Once the battle was over, news had reached both you and Sayo that Gyomei had passed on fighting valiantly against Muzan Kibutsuji and the Uppermoons

You and Sayo were devastated, but despite that, you both decided to live on to keep Gyomei's memory alive in your hearts, knowing that he was not really gone, but he was resting in both your hearts, eternally

Obanai:

When you finally brought up the suggestion to adopt a child, Obanai almost spit out his tea

Obanai couldn't help but think of all the things that could go wrong if he were to become a father

The one thing he couldn't get over was the fact that any kid would probably be too scared to even look at him because of his scar

Obanai obviously didn't say anything to you, but you could see the inner turmoil he was going through on his face

"Relax, Obanai! I know you'll do great as a father!" you gave him your signature smile and Obanai knew that he couldn't say otherwise

It took a few days to convince Obanai to actually come with you to the orphanage, for Obanai was afraid that, with so many kids around, the bandages around his scar would be pulled down accidentally, leaving the monstrous thing out in the open for prying eyes

Instead of shutting Obanai down, you let him voice all his concerns at once, knowing that Obanai would like to be able to voice his concerns before you look for a solution

"It's not possible to say that those things won't happen, but you just have to trust me," you smile as you run your fingers through Obanai's straight, jet-black hair

Obanai had said nothing after, simply watching the moon shine it's pale light over the both of you, the only witness to this affectionate moment

The nest day, Obanai wakes you early and says, "Come, Y/n. If we want to go to the orphanage, we better leave before traffic picks up."

At Obanai's words, you immediately brighten up, reading Obanai about how he was the one waking you up to go to the orphanage

After you hassle around the house trying to get ready, you and Obanai share breakfast that he made for both of you and you head out to the city soon enough

As you enter the orphanage, you experience a sense if nostalgia, for you remember the time you spent in the orphanage as a child before being thrown out because of shortages in supplies

Obanai sulks behind you, giving a nasty glare to whoever tries to come up and talk to him

However, one child comes and tugs on Obanai's haori lightly

Before Obanai can turn and tell the kid to "fuck off", he notices the bandages around one of her eyes

Quietly, he could hear her say, "You have bandages just like me."

Obanai's eyes widen slightly, and he brushes his bandages unconsciously with his hand

The girl simply stares at him, not saying anything more as the awkward silence continues

Unknowingly to Obanai, you have been watching this interaction, and you tell the owner of the orphanage that you'll take her in

As you, Obanai, and the little girl all take a cart back to your home, you see from the corner of your eye that the little girl is leaning against Obanai, probably sleeping, and Obanai is simply sitting there, watching the sunset

You knew you had a feeling that this child was right for you and your Obanai

It was the middle of the night when you realized the little girl you adopted was not in bed

You immidiately started to panic, startling Obanai awake as you run around the house trying to find her

You end up finding her outside, staring at the moon, her bandaged eye now uncovered, revealing the gruesome scar that hid beneath

You were unsure of how to approach the little girl, who seemed so lost as she simply stared at the moon, however, Obanai walked over from where he was standing behind you, taking a seat next to the girl

You realized that his mouth was not covered with bandages as it usually was, displaying his equally large scar that ran from the corners of his mouth

The girl looked over to Obanai, eyes wandering over his face curiously, before stopping at his scar

She reached out, tracing the scarred over tissue around his mouth, her mouth agape in what you thought was surprise or awe

After exploring Obanai's face, tears pooled in her eyes and ran down her pale cheeks, and she whispered, "You look like me."

You smile as Obanai agrees with the little girl, taking her hands in his and holding them against his scar

"No matter who tells you you're ugly because of your scar, or if you think your own scar is ugly, remember that you are not the only one suffering. You can always come to me," Obanai said sweetly as he lets go of her hands, though her hands stay on his face

The night grows deep as the little girl continued to shed tears hidden behind a wrapped face, the moon as witness to this moment as feelings are shared for the first time

As years go by, yours and Obanai's daughter, who you named Rin, became a Demon Slayer alongside you and her father

She made many friends on the way, meeting Tanjiro and Nezuko, as well as the rest of their friends and the Hashira and those who worked at the Butterfly Estate

She got along very well with Genya, though he was too shy to speak to her at first, and they shared everything with each other and bonded due to the face that they both have a scar running across their faces

You couldn't help but smile as you saw your daughter laughing along with Kanao as Tanjiro and Zenitsu were chased by Inosuke

Everything felt perfect... until the final battle

As a Demon Slayer yourself, you were present during the fight against Muzan Kibutsuji, trying to defend your comrades as best you could while keeping an eye on Obanai

However, you must have been engrossed in the battle, for by the time Muzan was ended, Obanai was lying on the ground, almost lifeless, with lacerations running across is face and multiple wounds that were bleeding profously

You hold him in his finaly moments, pressing a slight kiss to his forehead as Rin joins you, holding his hand and shedding tears that streamed endlessly down her blood-stained cheeks

Obanai simply whispers the words, "I love you" before the grip on Rin's hand grows slack

Your own tears fall as you and Rin silently grieve the loss of a father and a husband

But the battle wasn't over yet

Muzan has passed down his blood to Tanjiro, causing him to become the Demon King, and drawing out the battle further as the sun still rose, not fazing the new Demon King in the least

You and Rin struggled to fight due to the injuries you both sustained, but you both managed to buy enought time for Kanao to bring Tanjiro back

As everyone embraced in joy as Tanjiro became human again, you and Rin cried silently to the side, still grieving the hole that your family now has

After the final battle, you try to enjoy the days that you have left

You were one of the rare Demon Slayers to have unlocked your Demon Slayer Mark, causing your demise to come rapidly as you reached the age of 25

Your daughter sits at your bedside as you struggle to keep breathing

You know Rin is struggling to hold in her tears, and you caress her scar, giving her a loving look before the light dulled from your eyes and your arm dropped lifelessly

As you reach the light, you can see a faint silhouette of a man, holding his hand out to you

You know it is Obanai as you reach out to take his hand and wrap him in your embrace, both reunited once again

Back down on Earth, Rin's tears fall from her eyes, but she is smiling, knowing that you were finally reunited with your one true love

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riitah · 2 years ago

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[lover's quarrel] - gojo satoru x fem!reader

*sorry, i forgot to tag this: spoilers for jjk 0, but it's only mentioned in like one sentence and it's a very small detail SYNOPSIS: you and gojo got into your first argument as a couple, but you didn't expect him to come forward to apologize first. WORD COUNT: 1.3k HONORABLE MENTION: special thanks to my beta reader “henry rumpelstiltskin III of the nuclear sock kingdom”! :DD AUTHOR'S NOTE: egocentric fictional men who apologize first>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> - (he'd apologize first because I said so) - (he'd also be so embarrassed about it because i said so) - (because y'know. he probably never apologizes first. except this time.) - (holy crap i hope this isn't too ooc like i've never seen him get into an argument with anyone before 😭😭😭)

You. The couch. And the deafening silence.

It wasn't like you and Satoru haven't gotten into arguments before; back in high school, he loved to bother the crap out of you when you were busy doing something that required your full attention, and many of these button-pushing sessions led to full-blown arguments where the two of you hurled insult after insult at each other (though they were more of a one-sided thing, because he just laughed at you and your reddening face, asking if that was all you got). And Shoko and Suguru would watch all the while, one enjoying the entertainment she was getting and the other patiently waiting for a moment where he could calm the both of you down.

But this argument was different. It wasn't some small fight between teenagers that the two of you would forget in a few days. Heck, it might even last a few days instead, now that Suguru wasn't here.

Suguru.

You sighed, remembering that you fought with him, too. Figuratively and literally.

You sunk into the soft seat and leaned your head against the back cushion, letting out a loud groan.

Should I just apologize and get this over with?

After all, knowing your boyfriend, he'd be way too prideful to say sorry first.

Right. Boyfriend. Maybe even soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.

You tightly clutched the hem of your shirt at the thought, your heart feeling heavy. The remnants of the feud buried themselves deep into your chest, pulling and clawing at it as if it was trying to rip something out of there. It hurt knowing that the relationship you were once so happy to establish might not last as long as you thought it would.

Your best friend and your boyfriend; two heartbreaks, two people lost.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back tears. The room gradually grew darker and darker as the sun set in the distance, a painful reminder to you that Satoru had been gone for hours. Pulling your knees to your chest, you rocked back and forth, wondering where he could be this late.

Certainly not at some club, right...?

Your stomach twisted in a way you couldn't explain, and you let out a choked sob.

He can't be. He's not like that.

But Satoru had never been romantically involved with anyone before you. So how did you know what to expect?

You felt your fingernails digging into your skin, hard enough to make it bleed. You hated the way the scenarios were running through your head, the way none of them were him coming home to you without smelling of sickly sweet perfume and without having lipstick stains all over his neck. It was truly a different kind of pain knowing that someone who had declared his love for you merely six hours before could take it all back in an instant.

This is all so, so stupid. Maybe this was a mistake from the start.

Grabbing your coat that was lying right next to you, you stood up to leave.

Maybe a break would serve the both of us some good.

You put it on, not bothering to zip up the front.

I never should've said yes.

You walked towards the door, your footsteps soft, hesitant, and gradually slowing down to a stop when you arrived. You reached for the doorknob, still unsure of your decision. Your hand hovered in midair as you looked down at your feet, warm tears still streaking down your cheeks.

Is this really the right thing to do?

You couldn't think straight, or pinpoint what exactly you felt. Anger? Worry? Dread? The different emotions were all mixed into one, forced down your throat and into the pit of your stomach, with the sole purpose of breaking you from inside out.

You didn't want to think about anything anymore.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath before wrapping your hand around the doorknob, and--

The door flew backwards, striking against your palm. Your eyes opened in surprise, darting from the doorknob to the tall man that stood in front of you.

Neither of you said a word.

You were rooted to the spot, your legs frozen. Beads of sweat rolled down your back, tickling you, futilely trying to distract you from the situation at hand. Your hands felt clammy, your breath was stuck uncomfortably in your throat, and a single tear awkwardly slid its way down the side of your face, seemingly not getting the memo.

Satoru stared back at you, his sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose, slightly crooked. His blue eyes blinked at you, with a hint of confusion behind them. He was also slightly panting, you realized as you saw his shoulders slightly heave up and down from the corner of your eye.

"...(Y/N)?" His voice was gentle, void of any anger, unlike the tone he had used with you just hours before.

You didn't reply in fear of breaking down in front of him, in fear of coming off as some kind of victim when the fault was yours as much as it was his.

"What are you... Were you leaving? Were you crying?"

He sounded so confused, so worried. He touched your wet cheek, brushing against it with his calloused hand.

"Toru, where were you?" Your voice was barely audible.

One second passed. And then two.

Please tell me that you didn't give up on us.

And then three. And four.

The silence dragged on. And your hope dwindled along with it.

"Toru, I..." you said hoarsely.

Your heart dropped when you finally smelled the faint trace of perfume. The very same sickly-sweet smell you had been afraid of.

It can't be.

Can it?

"Were you...kissing some other girl?" Your voice cracked a little.

"What?! No!" His eyes widened as he frantically shook his head, and then he exhaled and furrowed his brows. "Was that why you were crying?"

You nodded meekly, feeling as though you were about to cry all over again. "I thought you'd want to break up with me."

"I'd never." You felt his lips press against your forehead, the warmth still lingering even after he pulled away. "And..." He dropped his hand to his side and glanced away, preoccupied with something on the floor, his voice quiet, sincere. "I'm...sorry."

Now it was your turn to widen your eyes. Did he just...apologize?

He peeked at you, and then grinned when he saw your expression. "Dumbfounded, aren't you? You should be honored to be the first and only person I've ever apologized t--mmph!"

All of the sadness seemed to have evaporated from your body as you grabbed his face with one hand, bringing it close. "Do that again."

He squinted at you. "I got you flowers," he suggested, squirming in your grasp. "And perfume too, so if you smell that on me, that's probably from the shop." A pause, waiting for you to let go. "And chocolate." Another pause, a smirk forming on his face. "Sexy lingeri--?"

You gave him a deadpan stare before he could finish.

"Kidding, kidding! Obviously." He laughed, the sound filling your stomach with butterflies. "So does that mean you forgive me?"

You sighed, nodding, letting go of him. "I'm really sorry, too. It was a stupid thing to argue over."

"Well, that marks the end of our first lover's quarrel!" He readjusted his glasses and smiled at you before bringing his left hand out from behind his back. "Good thing, because my arm was about to start cramping--"

You didn't register the rest of his words as he showed off the items he bought for you, your mind still trying to process what had just happened.

Toru knows how to apologize...

Surprised? Happy? Maybe giddy? Or all three?

You let a giggle slip, and he turned to you, the bouquet of flowers in his hands raised like a trophy.

"What're you laughing at?"

"Nothing."

You pulled in by the collar for a taste of his soft lips, whispering against them a quiet "I love you."

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #gojo x female reader #gojo satoru x female reader #gojo x reader #gojo #gojo satoru #jjk imagines #gojo satoru x you #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #oneshot #this was so anticlimatic holy crap #but i hope you enjoyed

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bugrry · 2 years ago

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you're the thing that's crystal clear

hbo!joel miller x fem!reader

hello lovebugs!!

a/n: after thirteen months of no new writing, the inspiration bug finally bit me again! please please please let me know what you think! hopefully i'll have more works coming out in the next few months, fingers crossed! :EDIT: at first i'd had it written that it was a gn reader, forgetting that i'd used she/her pronouns for the reader. so sorry!

in this fic there are spoilers for episode six of the last of us AND i have not played the game, so if there are any inaccuracies, sorry!

tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, reader and joel reuniting (let me know if i missed/forgot about anything!)

word count: 3,105

part two

Joel and Ellie had been at the commune for three whole hours before Joel can bring himself to ask about you.

“Where is she?” Joel finally asks as the four of them sit together and enjoy their meal. Tommy sighs, as though he’d been waiting for Joel to ask the question. He probably had been.

“I don’t know, Joel,” Tommy grunted, piercing the last morsel on his plate with his fork.

“You said she came here with you,” Joel grumbles, his voice just above a whisper.

“I also said she didn’t want to talk to you,” Tommy responds, swallowing and standing. He grabs his and Maria’s plate once she indicates that she’s done eating. Tommy moves to go to the kitchen, and Joel is following close behind him.

“So she’s here.” He tries to hide the desperation in his voice, but he doesn’t think he was all that convincing. He also doesn’t think he really cares.

Tommy turns to him, almost snatching Joel’s plate out of his hands. “I’ll tell her you’re here. Let her decide what to do about it. Don’t you dare go lookin’ for her.”

Joel sighs as he watches Tommy walk away from him, and he decides that he’s going to explore the rest of the commune. He eventually finds himself alone, sitting at a bar in an empty restaurant, thinking about the last time he saw you.

Three Years Ago

“Joel please!” You begged from where you stood with your half-packed backpack.

“No. I’m not joinin’ those Firefly fucks.” He stood tall and intimidating in front of you, almost like he was going to physically stop you from leaving.

“Even if I have to go?” You said sharply, turning to grab another essential from your small cabinet.

“You don’t have to go.” Joel almost scoffed.

“I’ll die if I stay here.”

“I’ll protect you!” Joel’s hands flew out from where they’d been at his sides. You flinched at the movement and the sudden change in his tone.

“You can’t. Not from this.” You mumbled, just barely loud enough for him to hear.

“From what?!” He continued to speak harshly, and you had to push through the instinct to just shut down.

You dropped what you’d been holding, pressing the palms of your hands into the edge of the counter.

“From myself!” You took a deep breath and finally turned to face him. “I am rotting here, Joel. I need to get out. For good.”

You had tried so hard to find a purpose here, with him, but every passing day only convinced you further that staying in Boston would kill you. One way or another, you knew that staying here would lead to you being just another one of the bodies that Joel had to toss in the pit. You shuddered at the thought.

“You’ll rot there too! You can’t pick and choose your life anymore, Y/N! It’s like this everywhere!”

You shook your head, feeling heat rush into your face. “It doesn’t have to be! What if there’s something else out there? Something better?”

“You want to risk your life to find out?”

“Yes, Joel! I have to!” You heard your voice crack, and it was evident that the desperation in your body language had finally seeped its way into your words.

“Fine!” He barked, turning towards his liquor cabinet as you finished shoving your things into your bag.

“Fine!” You pushed the whimper out of your voice as you zipped your bag shut and made your way out of your shared apartment.

Once you’d slammed the door shut behind you, you pressed your back against the weakened wood. You shut your eyes as tight as you could, trying to will the tears away as you left down the stairs to where Tommy was waiting for you outside.

Present Day, 2023

“Joel?” A soft voice comes from behind where Joel had parked himself at the bar. Joel’s head snaps up at your near-silent entrance. “Is that you?”

“...Y/N?” He curses himself for letting someone sneak up on him yet again. But once he sees your face, sees that you’re okay and alive he feels himself deflate. He hadn’t heard from you since you left, only getting bits and pieces from his brother, though Tommy had refused to give Joel much more than that. Joel was sure that had been at your request. After a while, Joel had stopped hearing from Tommy altogether, and thus lost access to whatever minuscule amounts of information he’d been getting about you.

“They said that Tommy’s brother had come through. Guess they weren’t lyin’.”

“Guess they weren’t.” He mumbles, turning back to where he’d been picking at the chipping wood of the bar.

“You’re really gonna leave her?” You say softly, coming around to the other side of the bar. You pull two glasses from under the counter and turn to grab a bottle of whiskey off the shelf behind you.

“Shit. How fast does word spread around here?” Joel says, watching your every move, trying to memorize the way you fit into this place so naturally, trying to convince himself that you’re happier here. Without him.

“Fast enough.” You sigh, placing a half-full glass in front of him. “Dammit.” He doesn’t grab the glass right away, staring at the sloshing liquid until it stills.

“You can’t leave her.” You say, resting your now empty hand against your hip.

“Like you left me?”

You sigh, moving to pull a stool from under the counter. You can’t bring yourself to sit directly next to him, not yet. You needed the foot of space that the bar provided to keep you from completely drowning yourself in his presence. “I didn’t have a choice, you know that. You meant the world to me. You still do."

“Do I?” “Joel.” You hesitate. “Do I?” He barks, and there’s a harshness to his words that hadn’t been there when he’d first asked the question. You appear to flinch, but he chooses not to comment on your obvious apprehension. You take a minute to compose yourself before beginning to speak.

“Of course you do. There hasn’t been anyone since you. I don’t know if there ever will be.” You look down at the bar in front of you, daring only once to sneak a peek at Joel’s hands that had finally clasped around the glass. “You don’t have to lie for me. I’m a big boy.” He takes a swig of his drink, grimacing at the pleasant burn it left as it traveled down his throat. “I’m not lyin’. You were it for me.” You continue to avoid his eyes as you busied yourself with wiping down the counter.

Joel grumbled, wanting to drop his head onto the old wood in front of him. “You’re too young for me to have been it for you.” “Maybe so, but I loved you.” “Loved?” “What does it matter to you?” You snap, finally looking up at him and meeting his eyes. It was then that you noticed just how tired he was. Sure, he’d been grizzled and tired when you’d last seen him, but it seemed that the last three years had aged him faster than the previous seventeen had.

“Never mind.” He says, breaking eye contact and looking back down at where his fingers traced the carvings in the glass.

You soften, realizing just how much you’d truly missed him, how much you still miss him. You miss the way he’d hold you after a supply run went wrong – or right, for that matter. Joel had loved holding you whenever he got the chance. You miss the way he’d laugh at one of your shitty jokes, playfully pushing you away from him as you tried to get him to admit he’d found it funny. You blush when the thought pops into your head, but you also miss the way he’d put his whole body into kissing you, always made you lose yourself in the feel of his lips, his hands, and his thighs pressed against your body. You didn’t want to dig yourself any deeper of a hole, so you decide to bring the topic back to something you could think about without wanting to scream.

“Please don’t leave her, Joel.”

Joel groans, looking back up at you and frowning, “We’re back on this?”

“It’s important. I can tell how much she means to you.” “It’s none of your business,” he says, taking a final swig of his drink.

“Isn’t it?”

He shakes his head, looking down at the empty glass in front of him, “Nope.”

“I suppose it’s not,” you relent, moving to pour him another few ounces. He lets you.

“I’m glad we finally agree on something.”

You nod, looking down at the bottle in your hands. You place the bottle back on the shelf, turning back to take a drink out of your own glass. You decide to push it further.

“Ellie’s not going to let you leave her.”

Joel sighs as if he’s annoyed that the conversation has continued, but he doesn’t leave. For that, you are thankful.

“What do you know about her?” He demands quietly, still refusing to look back up at you.

“I know enough.”

“I’m not gonna leave her,” he concedes, “I’m gonna give her a choice. Let her stay here or come with me.”

“She’s gonna choose you.”

“How do you know? You didn’t.”

“That was different.” “Was it?” He grunts.

“Yes. Because I regret it.” At this, his eyes snap up to meet yours. You’re looking at him sadly, as if it was obvious, as if he should have known that you regretted leaving him. Maybe he should have. He doesn’t say anything for a long while, just staring at you and watching the tears pool in your eyes.

“Oh,” is all he comes up with, and you frown.

“Is that what you wanted to hear? That I regret leaving you? That I’ve been miserable this whole time without you?”

“No, of course not,” he says sincerely.

You scoff, rolling your eyes and taking another drink from your glass, “Yeah right.”

“You think I wanted you to be miserable?” Joel says, finally standing from his seat at the bar, “I’ve thought about you every day since you left. I didn’t want to let you leave, but I also knew I had no power to stop you. I knew you were miserable in Boston. I knew I couldn’t convince you to stay.” “Even with how miserable leaving you made me feel, I think it was the right choice.” Joel frowns again, and the wrinkles around his eyes become only more prominent. You yearn to press the obvious hurt out of his face. You don’t let him speak, holding up your hand as you continue talking.

“I think I had to leave you. I don’t think I realized how important you were to me until I didn’t have you anymore.” At your words, Joel's frown only hardens. “You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t you tell me what I mean, Joel Miller,” you snap, your back straightening from where you’d been leaning against the shelf.

“If I was so important to you, why didn’t you come back?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me back.”

Joel’s face softens. He looks at you like you’ve just told him the most heartbreaking news he’d ever heard. “What?” He says it so quietly you almost miss it, “You thought…” he trails off, not allowing himself to finish the thought.

“I thought you hated me.” You blurt. You curse yourself, you’d meant to say it softer than that, to maybe sugarcoat it a little bit.

“You thought I hated you?” You don’t answer him this time, merely shrugging and looking down and tracing the grain pattern of the bar. “I could never hate you.”

He says it so harshly you feel as though you’re being scolded, and it only makes you shrink further in on yourself. He notices your shift and softens. He comes around your side of the bar, needing to be close to you, to feel your warmth again. You allow him to approach you, and when you don’t shy away from him, he feels a part of him that has been asleep for three years reawaken. He is filled with a sort of warmth that he never thought he’d feel again as he reaches up to cup your face, speaking softly, “Sweetheart, I could never hate you. Never in a million years could I hate you.” He brushes his thumb over your cheek, and he may be imagining it, but he thinks he feels you press your face into his hand. You close your eyes, but he has more to say.

“Y/N, listen to me. We’ve been through too much for me to ever hate you. I’ve seen you at your absolute worst and I still wanted you so bad it hurt.”

You pull away from his touch, and he feels cold again.

“That was before I left,” You say, almost as if you’re ashamed of yourself.

“That’s true. Even after that, though. I never hated you. Not for a second.” “Don’t lie to me Joel,” you almost whimper, and you shut your eyes in embarrassment at letting your voice crack.

“I’m not lying to you. Sure, I was pissed. Heartbroken, even. I thought you and Tommy were idiots for leaving, but there’s no way in hell I ever hated you for it.”

You give a non-commital shrug, still avoiding eye contact with him, “sure,” you eventually mumble.

“I’m telling you the truth. I have to reason to lie to you.”

“To spare my feelings, maybe.” You say softly, now fidgeting with your fingers.

“When have I ever done that?”

This makes you chuckle quietly, and he’s filled with a sort of pride that warms him from the inside out. There’s my girl, he finds himself thinking. Your laugh and your smile fades, and with it, that fuzzy feeling in Joel’s chest.

“You should hate me.” You finally say.

“I know,” he says, reaching up to touch you again. This time, he reaches for your hair, pushing a lock of it from your face, “But I can’t bring myself to.”

It's quiet for a few moments before you speak again, “I thought I hated you.” Joel’s hand drops from your face.

“What?” He tries to keep the fear out of his voice, and from your lack of reaction, he hopes that he’s succeeded.

“I thought I hated you because you let me leave so easily. I thought you’d just decided you didn’t need me anymore. That I wasn’t worth fighting for. That was stupid, I realize that now. But I wrote some pretty bitter things about you in my journal.”

Joel’s hand moves back up to your face, this time to brush away the tears that had fallen down your cheeks, “I could never not need you.”

You shake your head, moving out of his grip again. “You did just fine for more than a decade without me.”

“Maybe I just didn’t realize how alone I was.”

This makes you laugh again, but not in a way that fills Joel with warmth. It’s bitter, doubtful, and angry.

“I could show you,” he starts again, moving back into your personal space, “if you’d let me. I could show you how much you meant to me. How much you still mean to me.”

“I don’t…” you start, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“If you’d let me, I’d spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me.”

“Joel…” you start again, but this time you let yourself trail off, not knowing what you were going to say, just knowing that you should probably say something.

“Please sugar,” he starts again, placing his hands softly on your shoulders. You don’t move any closer, but you also don’t move away, so Joel keeps going, “You said it yourself. There’s still a small part of you that loves me, even if you probably shouldn’t.”

You mumble something to yourself, something Joel couldn’t make out. He reaches up to move your face towards him, to force you to look at him. You obey his silent request, looking up and into his eyes that were somehow still so soft, even after all these years.

“It’s not a small part of me, Joel,” you say again, speaking louder this time, “It was never a small fucking part. My whole being was devoted to you. It tore me apart to leave you. I was useless on the road. Once we were with the Fireflies, I threw myself into my work and my chores so that I didn’t have to think about the huge Joel-shaped piece that was missing from my heart. I hate myself for leaving, and I hate myself even more for not going back to Boston and fighting for you. I was a coward. I still am.”

By the time you’re finished talking, tears are streaming down your face. Joel is looking at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen, and it makes you want to curl into a ball and never speak to anyone again. He lets you cry for a moment before he responds.

“If you’re a coward, then I’m a coward too. I could have just as easily come looking for you.” “I never expected you to.” You squeak out, in between your sobs “And I never expected you to come back. That doesn’t mean I got over you leaving. I didn’t think I’d ever get over it. And I hadn’t, not until I saw you here.”

Once he finishes speaking, he finally pulls you into his chest and just lets you sob into him. He doesn’t know how long the two of you stand there, in that empty bar, with his arms wrapped around you, but what he does know is that he never wants to let you go. Eventually, your sobs fade to quiet sniffles and you shift in order to wrap your arms around his body. Even though the two of you are pressed against each other, the way you grab at him makes it seem as though you need him even closer. You mumble something into his chest that he can’t quite make out, so he pulls you away from him. You whine at the loss of his touch, but you quiet once you see how he looks at you.

“What was that, sweetheart?”

“I said I love you.” You sniffle, reaching up and wiping a tear from his face.

“I love you too, Y/N. God, do I love you.”

part two

#my writing #joel miller x reader #joel miller #the last of us hbo #the last of us #ellie williams #hbo #hbo!joel miller x reader #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller fanfiction

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cactus-cuddler · 6 months ago

Text

Chapter 5: 𝐈𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬

Series' masterlist | previous chapter | epilogue

Word count: 1,7 k

Summary: last chapter, no spoiler!

Warnings: no one

Tag list: @mcira @robynanthonystark @sofiaavarga13 @julvrs @fanfictionreaderfan

You hold onto your cardigan while your other hand grips your phone, with Google Maps guiding you to Bucky's house. The cold air pinches your nose, and darkness has already settled in. You hear dogs barking in the distance, crickets chirping, and your heart pounding. The navigator shows that Bucky's house is about twenty minutes away. He used to walk those twenty minutes every day just to take you home, walking by your side as you exchanged a few words. You can't help but feel grateful to him for everything he does for you, so you feel the need to reciprocate what he's done for you.

A few meters away, you spot a shop that's still open—it's ten in the evening, so it’s a bit of a surprise. You decide to go in and buy something. This time, before leaving, you remembered to grab your handbag with your wallet inside! You know that showing up at his place in pajamas, with a cardigan and a handbag on top, isn't exactly a style statement, but who do you expect to see you? You admit that you regretted your outfit choice a little, but at that moment, you didn’t feel like changing, and the desire to see Bucky was stronger.

You buy one of the sandwiches you enjoyed earlier that afternoon, along with some drinks—you can’t show up at someone’s house empty-handed! You don’t know exactly what Bucky likes, as he’s never told you, so you decide to grab some chocolate and savory snacks to increase the chances of getting something he likes. Happy with your purchases, you leave the supermarket and head towards what should be Bucky's apartment. It’s an apartment building with many small studios. You look for his name on the intercom, and as soon as you see "James Buchanan Barnes," you can't help but stifle a laugh. He had never told you his full name, and discovering it like this probably wouldn’t please him.

The first time you ring, no one answers. The second time, you start to worry. The third time, you feel tears prickling your eyes, and by the fourth time, you’re about to cry when the door finally opens. Luckily for you, there’s an elevator inside the building, so you don't have to walk up four flights of stairs to get to his apartment.

You knock carefully on his door, number 546.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, opening the door just enough to not reveal the mess behind it. He's nervous, and you smell the alcohol on him. The scent hits your nostrils with force.

“To see you,” you reply in a whisper, noticing that he can barely stand. "I brought food," you add, trying to persuade him by showing him the shopping bag you brought.

“You’re too pretty," he whispers before letting you in. The living room is full of empty bottles of alcohol, and everything is out of place. Walking without tripping is a challenge. You notice that the clothes he wore on your last date are strewn across the sofa. I forgot to mention—he’s only wearing sweatpants. And that’s it. Needless to say, you’re transfixed by his muscular chest.

“Sorry about the mess,” he mumbles, trying to clear the couch for you to sit down. You place the shopping bag on the coffee table in the middle of the living room and then take off your cardigan before sitting down. He looks at you for a moment and notices you’re in your pajamas. A small smile tugs at his lips.

"At least I'm not shirtless!" you scold, pointing at his bare chest after noticing his reaction.

"I wouldn’t have minded," he chuckles, and you blush. Little by little, he’s regaining his usual way of approaching you, making his coldness melt away. He looks at you, waiting for you to say something. He thinks you’re there to tell him something. But as always, it’s him who breaks the silence.

“Sorry for leaving,” he says, looking away from your face to focus on his hands, which he now sees as stained with the blood of innocents. "But what that man said is true. I am the Winter Soldier," he admits in a small voice. You see his hands trembling, just like his voice.

“You were never him, you’re just Bucky,” you assure him, taking his hands firmly.

He wanted to cut ties with you. He didn’t want you to hang around a monster, nor did he want to involve you in moments like the one at the festival. He wanted to see you happy, and he didn’t believe that he could be the source of that happiness. He softly strokes the back of your hand, and your eyes lock. In his now-clear eyes, you see a person suffering from the pain others have inflicted on him.

“You don’t know how hard it is for me, Y/N, but I can’t condemn you to be with me,” he tells you. His voice is hoarse, tinged with suffering.

“It’s not a condemnation,” you tell him, taking his hands and looking him straight in the eyes.

“You don’t know what a monster I am,” he whispers. You place a hand on his cheek and gently caress it.

“There’s no monster inside you, Buck,” you reassure him, your hands warm against his skin. You reach for his metal hand and squeeze it gently. “There’s a beautiful person inside you,” you add. For a moment, you almost manage to convince him, but the memories of the Winter Soldier resurface in his mind. He shakes his head.

“I wish you were right, but there are things about me that you don’t know.”

"Tell me everything," you ask him, as if Megan hadn’t already told you the same story less than an hour ago. But hearing it from his lips might help him feel better. He starts by telling you about when he joined the Army during World War II. He tells you about being captured and the experiments they conducted on his body, and how he was supposed to die but woke up as the Winter Soldier. He recounts all the heinous things HYDRA made him do, and all the while, his voice trembles. The memory of his victims is still vivid in his mind.

“After all that, do you still believe I’m not a monster?" he asks. To answer him, you kiss his soft lips, placing your hands in his hair to pull him closer to you. "Is that enough of an answer for you?" you ask, leaning your forehead against his. This time, he takes the initiative and presses his lips to yours, making you sit on top of him to feel you closer. But even if you weren’t touching, your bodies would still be united by your hearts.

“You’re not a monster, Bucky. Okay? The Winter Soldier isn’t you, it’s HYDRA,” you console him, stroking his soft hair. He nods. Those were just the words he needed, and salty tears begin to fall from his cheeks.

"You're amazing," he says, his breath warm against your lips.

At a certain moment, Bucky gets up and makes you sit in his place. If standing, he is taller than you, now with him standing and you sitting, he feels like a giant before you.

“I want to show you that I am no longer capable of harm,” he tells you, and you smile at him.

“It’s not necessary,” you assure him, but he replies, "I have to prove it to myself too," so you let him proceed.

He caresses your face with his cold, metallic hand. You shiver at the touch on your warm cheeks. You close your eyes and surrender yourself completely to him and his hands. You feel his hand gently caress your chin, then move to your cheek where he traces small circles with his fingers, making you giggle. Then he touches the tip of your nose, making a soft "boop" sound with his lips. You open your eyes with a smile and see his eyes penetrating your soul. His clear eyes are locked on yours.

Thanks to his vibranium hand, he can’t feel your warmth; otherwise, he would sense just how much his cold touch heats you up. He smiles sweetly at you, but you’re still petrified by his touch. Your stomach instantly fills with butterflies. He then offers you his hand, which you take, and he helps you stand up. He places his hands on your hips, and you rest yours on his powerful chest. You gaze into each other’s eyes again, lost in them. You feel an irrepressible desire to kiss his perfect pink lips.

"I love you, pretty girl," he says, and then you kiss, standing there in his little living room. You kiss him with a primal desire you didn’t know you had. Your lips continue to meet, your tongues dance together, and your hands delicately explore each other’s bodies. You’re afraid of hurting one another, but the desire burning inside you is even stronger. You never thought you’d confess your feelings for Bucky in a room full of alcohol bottles—you were hoping for something more romantic, like under the moon or amidst fireworks—but this is probably even better. You met among the bottles, and having your first kiss among them makes it perfect. He is perfect.

“I love you too, Buck.” you could swear you've never seen a more beautiful smile than his right now.

“Can I ask you on another date?" he asks, breaking away from the kiss.

“Only if you don’t run away like Cinderella,” you reply, chuckling. He stares into your eyes for endless seconds, and you smile back at him. Then you remember what you had to say to get his address, and you blush with embarrassment.

'How am I going to go back to work knowing that my boss thinks I’m pregnant by his bodyguard?' you think. Bucky notices the terror in your eyes and starts looking at you with concern.

"What’s going on?" he asks softly, stroking your cheek.

“Anyway… so, to get your address, I had to tell our employer that I’m pregnant with your baby," you whisper against his lips, and he starts coughing loudly. You burst out laughing at his reaction.

Here is finally the last chapter! I hope you enjoyed the series and let me know what you think! Soon I will also publish the epilogue with the real ending.

Series' masterlist | previous chapter | epilogue

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dearestmui · 1 year ago

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Hi! It's anon, so uh this is my first time making a request so I'm sorry if it doesnt make any sense

Anyways it's gonna be muichiro x gn!reader or fem!reader(whatever you prefer) so it can be a short fic or long fic it's your choice, I haven't seen anybody request this but can you do one where muichiro and reader are in a secret relationship? But muichiro forgets no matter how many attempts reader says that the relationship should be kept a secret and at a celebration or birthday muichiro accidentally blurts out that the reader and him are dating? How would everyone react would they be shocked? Neutral? Anyways my request isn't really that interesting so I'm not expecting you to pick this! But if you do thanks<3

SECRET RELATIONSHIP

summary: how would everyone react to muichiro outing your secret relationship? cw: none just fluff and very slight angst pairing: Muichiro x reader adittional tags: manga spoiler free, muichiro before ssv. word count: 1407

When you and Muichiro started dating, you asked to keep the relationship secret. He didn't go against the idea, it's not like he was planning to tell anyone anyway. You were someone who Muichiro could never forget, however what he did forget is that your relationship was supposed to be a secret. It's not like he did care about who knew or not, it was nobody's business. But what he did care about was you, so he wanted to respect your wishes.

There were times where other people would hit on you, and in that moment Muichiro felt compelled to step in. How can people come up to you and flirt shamelessly like that? Don't they know that you're taken? Oh right.

When it was a demon slayer, he'd glare at them until they took the hint, not saying anything.

If it was a local from a village when you two are on a mission, then he'd tell them bluntly. You don't know them, so who cares. When you think he'd go too far, or risk your relationship being revealed, you'd nudge him with your elbow and glare at him. To that he replies with the softening of his features followed by a sigh.

At some point, when he was alone he started to wonder why the relationship had to be kept a secret. Should he not be able to express his love for you despite the public's opinion? He wanted demon slayers to stay away from you, and most importantly he wanted to be able to show simple gestures such as kissing your cheek. The most he could do was hold your hand in public, since you two were young no one thought much of it. For the first time(or so he thinks), he felt pure love and adoration for someone else. Is it wrong for him to want to express his innocent teenage love?

Of course, he forgot all those thoughts the next day.

There was a small celebration held by Mitsuri for her birthday, everyone she knew was invited. And god, she knew a lot of people. Muichiro would've forgot to come if it wasn't for you dragging him.

At the celebration, you wore such a cute outfit, maybe a little too cute. Muichiro felt an unknown flutter in his stomach, though he struggles to identify what he's feeling, he knows that his stomach feels tingly when he sees you. But this time it was more intense than ever. So, he subconsciously got a little too close to you — reaching to rest his hand around your waist. Which, unfortunately for him, you responded by moving away. He frowned at this.

"Muichiro, you shouldn't get too close, remember? People will find out we're dating." You whispered to him.

"....Sorry. You look pretty." He whispered back, making you blush.

Later, you and Muichiro were sitting at table with the hashira and the kamaboko squad. Everyone was having fun talking to eachother. You'd think that Muichiro would feel overwhelmed by the amount of people and loud noise, but he didn't mind it — considering the fact he finds Rengoku's loudness comforting. He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation, until Mitsuri, the Love Hashira, started to ask questions about you and Muichiro.

Of course, being the Lova pillar, Mitsuri has noticed how close you two were. She was a little dense though, not realizing you two were actually in love, she was just curious about it. The conversation snapped Muichiro back to reality.

"Say, you two are really close!! Are you dating?" Mitsuri asked excitedly. The thought of you and Muichiro dating made her heart burst! Young love, so cute!!

However, you who wanted to keep your relationship a secret, was about to decline that claim until-

"Yes, we are." Muichiro muttered on instinct.

Your eyes widened and a blush crept onto your face. While Mitsuri's smile widened.

"Muichiro!" You scream whispered at him, panicking and looking around not knowing what to do.

The others looked at you in shock, well instead of Inosuke who continued eating despite being confused on why everyone went silent.

"What? Oh, right." Muichiro looked at you confused, until he remembered the he just outed your relationship to everyone.

Needless to say, everyone was shocked that Muichiro, the Hashira who basically fuctioned like an emotionless puppet was dating someone. But his colleagues were happy for him, except for Giyuu and Obanai who didn't seem to have a reaction.

Rengoku was beyond happy, he's always been concerned about the younger pillar and took it upon himself to take care of him. He loudly congratulated you both on your relationship, which of course just outed your whole relationship to everyone at the party. Shinobu kept her soft smile and clapped, thinking it was adorable and also happy for you and the young pillar. Tengen was beyond shocked, and offered to give relationship advice to his colleague. Sanemi, also barely showed a reaction. A little shocked, sure. But he also felt a little concerned. Dating as demon slayers could be really hurtful. If one of you died during a mission, then what? He knew this from experience. He didn't say anything. He tried convincing himself he didn't care, but of course, he was too kind so subconsciously he'd start looking out for the both of you more. Someone who already knew about the relationship was Gyomei, who simply let out a smile and congratulated the two of you then let out a prayer for the safety and happiness to the future of your relationship. Mitsuri, who was showing the most reaction, was squirming and jumping the whole time, as if she had been proposed to.

Someone who didn't react so positively though was Zenitsu, his eyes were filled with scorn, almost shedding tears of jealousy towards the newly outted couple. How can someone like Muichiro score before him??? He let his jealousy be known; Tanjiro who was sitting next to him had to knock him out to not make the two of you uncomfortable. Speaking of Tanjiro, he felt relieved about Muichiro finding someone he loved. Yes, he'd definitely buy you and Muichiro a congratulation gift.

If you were to be overwhelmed by everyone's reaction, Muichiro would've taken notice of this and gladly take your hand then take you away to a quieter place. Though the people at the table would be confused seeing Muichiro drag you away.

As for the aftermath, Muichiro was so used to not showing any affection in public that he forgot that your relationship is NOT secret anymore... But, he definitely felt more comfortable to be able to be affectionate towards you.

Do not repost

#muichiro x reader #muichiro tokito #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu muichiro #demon slayer #kny #kny x reader #demon slayer muichiro #muichiro x y/n #muichiro x you #fluff #muichiro fluff #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x gender neutral reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x you

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