#but this has been on my mind since I watched the ep earlier

[skyerocketing-anxiety]

So can the petals falling off the flower bouquet at the end of the episode be a symbol for Stolas falling out of love/fully giving up hope or am I just a pessimist

[charmedimsure]

uuuhhhhhm can i pretty pretty please with cherries on top request a Dae-ho x reader where the reader was also in the military? but its like that ep. where they revolutionized? if that makes sense? idk i think it be cool if reader eas good eith a gun

anyways HAVE A LOVELY DAY/ NIGHT love reading your stuff (i binge read it :p)

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

pairing: Kang Dae-ho x gn!reader

summary: As a former soldier, you know just what to do when all hell breaks loose.

word count: 3.7k

warnings: guns, death, blood, squid game stuff, panic attacks, ptsd

A/N: i've played so many shooting games i feel like i've been training to write this fic my entire life. i even named it after a shield from my favorite game (brownie points if you know which game). if you find any mistakes no you didn't <3 tried to make this gender neutral but if you find any slip ups lmk so i can fix it

**this can be read as romantic or platonic**

You look at the woman standing between bunks with wide eyes. You weren't sure earlier when you saw her on the screen, but seeing her standing ten feet away from you, you're absolutely positive that you know who this is.

"Sergeant?"

Cho Hyun-ju turns and gasps when she sees you, a smile lighting up her face. She quickly embraces you, you happily hugging her back. You were always her favorite soldier (she never admitted it, being the sergeant of the Brigade, but you both knew she liked you best). You were one of the only people who supported her when she came out. You tried to fight against her discharge but, as a low-ranking soldier, you had no say in the matter.

"I knew it had to be you!" you say, pulling back with a smile. "When I saw someone go back into the playing field to help a guy with only ten seconds left, I just knew it was my sergeant!"

"It's good to see you," she says. "Though, I wish it was under better circumstances."

You nod solemnly. You had just watched at least a hundred people die while screaming and begging for their lives. As a former soldier, it was hard that you couldn't do anything to help the civilians. All you could do was stand there and listen to the screams and gunshots, and then the silence.

"How are you here? Are you not part of the Brigade anymore?" Hyun-ju asks.

You shake your head. "No, I actually left not long after you were discharged. It wasn't the same without you, and I just couldn't be civil with the others after how they treated you."

She nods, understanding. "Well, if I'm going to be here with anyone, I'm glad it's you. I trust you with my life, soldier."

You smile. "And I you, Sergeant."

<>

You and Hyun-ju had made it through the next two games together, along with some allies you made along the way. Together with Young-mi, Yong-sik, and Geum-ja, you had been the first team to succeed in the six-legged pentathlon.

You had also made it though Mingle with some new allies, though not all of your old allies made it. Young-mi's death was hard on your whole group, but Hyun-ju had been taking it the worst. While you had grown closer with Yong-sik and Geum-ja, she had formed a special bond with the young girl and had to watch her die right in front of her.

While you would like to take the time to mourn Young-mi, a lot has happened in the few hours since the third game ended. The vote on whether to go home or stay ended in a 50-50 tie, meaning you're going to have to redo the vote tomorrow. Then, a huge fight apparently broke out in the men's bathroom, leaving five players dead.

Both sides group together to count their numbers, and you find that there's now one more X than O. While the players around you celebrate, a feeling of dread shoots through you.

"Attention please. Lights out in 30 minutes. All players, please return to your beds and prepare for bedtime."

Shit.

Player 047 stands in front of the group. "Listen, you cannot change your minds. We have to win the second vote and get out of here tomorrow, alright?"

As the other players around you nod and move to their beds, you stay sitting, watching the O players. They're already looking at your group. Watching. Waiting. You look at Gi-hun, the previous winner, and know that he's thinking the same thing you are.

<>

"Those bastards are acting suspicious," Dae-ho says, returning to the small circle you formed on the ground. "It looks like they're up to something."

Jung-bae breathes out a laugh. "Whatever those idiots do, once we win the vote tomorrow, it'll all be over."

"You think we'll be okay?" Dae-ho asks, concerned. "They say things were really crazy in the bathroom earlier."

"We need to be ready," you say from your place between Dae-ho and Gyeong-seok. "They've been watching us since the moment they found out the prize money goes up if we kill each other."

The group around you tenses before Gi-hun speaks up as well. "Once the lights go out, people on the other side will attack us."

"Really?" Yong-sik asks from beside his mother.

Gi-hun nods. "Because if they kill us, they'll be able to win the vote and increase the prize."

"So what do we do?" Yong-sik asks.

"Let's attack them first," Young-il suggests. "They're probably thinking we'll just wait for the second vote. We can use it to our advantage. We'll attack them first once the lights go out."

"That's right," Player 047 says. "It'd be better to attack them first. We have more women and elderly on our side. If we get attacked we'll be at a disadvantage." You send him a glare that makes him freeze for a moment before continuing. "Attacking them first would give us a better chance of winning."

"I agree," Player 145 adds.

"We can't do that," Gi-hun says.

"But we have to get out of here," Young-il argues. "You said it yourself. Staying calm won't get us anywhere now."

"That doesn't mean we should kill each other," Gi-hun says. "That's exactly what they want us to do."

Jung-bae leans forward. "'They'?"

Gi-hun looks at him. "The ones who created this game." He turns to face the rest of the circle. "The ones who watch us play. If we're going to fight someone, it should be them."

It's silent before Dae-ho speaks up. "Where are they?"

Gi-hun looks to the ceiling. "Up there."

You all follow his gaze before looking around at each other.

"On the upper levels," Gi-hun says, "are the rooms they control the games from. The man in the black mask is their leader. Once we capture him, we'll be able to win."

"How are you going to fight them?" Young-il asks. "They have guns."

"We'll fight them with guns, too," Gi-hun says.

"But we don't have any," Jung-bae says.

Gi-hun turns to him. "We'll take their guns."

You and Hyun-ju look at each other. This is what you were trained for.

"From those masked men?" Gyeong-seok asks nervously.

Gi-hun nods.

"That's too dangerous," Young-il says. "Even if we manage to take a few guns, we'll still be outnumbered."

"What then?" Gi-hun argues. "Are you going to kill each other all night and hope you survive? Is that what you want, Young-il?"

Hyun-ju breaks the silence. "Do we... stand a chance?"

"We do if we catch them off guard," Gi-hun says. "Out of everyone, they're the ones who would least expect us to attack first. This is our last chance to end these games once and for all."

"How are you going to take their guns?" Young-il asks.

"Once the fight begins tonight, we'll have our chance."

<>

"Lights out in ten seconds."

"Ten,

nine,

eight,

seven,

six,

five,

four,

three,

two,

one."

The lights dim, then turn off completely, leaving only the red and blue lights from the floor.

You roll out of bed, getting under the frame. You feel someone else trying to get under your bed, and you move a bit to make room for Dae-ho. Just as you get in position, you see bodies creeping towards your side of the room, illuminated by the bright blue O on the floor.

There's a scream, and all hell breaks loose.

The lights strobe as you hear the sounds of screaming and bottles being smashed coming from all around you. Somewhere to your right, a bunk is toppled over, sending someone to the ground. Another player runs up to them, stabbing their fork into their neck.

You feel the ex-Marine next to you tense up and put a hand over his, trying to bring him some comfort, or at the very least trying to keep him from blowing your cover.

You hear the buzzer of the door and the lights come on. One of the soldiers fires into the air to stop the fighting as about twenty masked guards come into the room, all armed.

You quickly army crawl out from under the bed, Dae-ho following you as you lay down on the ground.

You hear footsteps getting closer to you, and your ear is moved as a device scans behind it.

You open your eyes, grabbing the soldier so they can't move. "Dae-ho! Now!"

The ex-Marine smashes a bottle over the head of the guard, knocking him unconscious. You take the opportunity to grab the submachine gun off of the soldier, shooting another soldier coming toward you and Dae-ho. You're so focused on the fight that you fail to notice the quivering boy holding his hands over his ears against the bunks.

Grabbing another gun, you quickly scale one of the bunks to get a better vantage of the fight.

"Sergeant!" You yell, gaining the attention of Hyun-ju. She looks to you and you toss the SMG to her. She drops her pistol and catches the weapon, turning just in time to shoot one of the pink guards coming for her.

You use your position to fire at the guards hiding behind bunks. You pull the trigger until you hear a click, cursing as the mag runs empty. You jump down from the bunk, using the butt of the gun to knock a guard out cold. You quickly take his ammo and reload your own gun, firing at a guard trying to shoot Gi-hun.

"Retreat. Retreat."

The voice over the intercom announces and the pink soldiers make their way towards the door. You're able to shoot two more, but most of the soldiers who are still alive are able to make it out of the room. The main guard with the square on his mask is too busy firing back to realize that the door has closed behind him, sealing him in the room with you just as he runs out of ammo.

"Stop! Hold fire!" Gi-hun yells.

Jung-bae and another player run over to the square guard, making sure he won't fight.

"You goddamn bastards!" you hear someone yell on the other side of the room and turn to see Player 047 aiming his gun at a bunch of O players.

"No!" Gi-hun yells, stopping the man before he can shoot. "This is not what we took these guns for. If we do this, we'll be no different from those masked men."

Player 047 lowers his gun, hanging his head and he softly cries.

Gi-hun steps to the center of the room. "Everyone! Don't be scared. Gather round, please! We're not trying to hurt you!"

You walk to stand by Hyun-ju and Gyeong-seok.

"Get the guns and ammo from the dead," she tells the both of you.

You nod, doing as your sergeant says while she takes out the cameras in the room.

<>

Placing one of the last guns on the mattress in the center of the room, you move to stand in line between Jung-bae and Dae-ho, handing the extra SMG in your hand to Dae-ho.

Gi-hun steps forward. "Everyone. We will now head up to the masked men's headquarters. We'll capture the ones who captured us, put an end to this game, and make them pay. Anyone who knows how to use a gun and wishes to join us, please step forward."

You look at the crowd in front of you, but everyone stays where they are.

"Hey," you hear a voice next to you say and turn your head to see Jung-bae stepping forward. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too. But this may be our last chance to make it out of this place alive. Fight with us so we can go home together. All together."

One of the players in the back of the crowd steps forward. "I'll fight with you."

Gi-hun waves at him to come and take a gun. Two other players come forward as well.

You watch as Yong-sik makes a move to step forward, but he catches your gaze as you shake your head at him. It's very brave of him to think about volunteering, but he hasn't even served his mandatory military service yet, and it would kill his mother if he didn't come back. You breathe a sigh of relief when Yong-sik stays where he is.

When it's clear that no one else is stepping forward, Gi-hun turns to you all. "Please check your guns and ammo."

"Let's take one radio each," Jung-bae says. "We'll use channel 7, the lucky number."

You put the strap of your gun around you, checking the mag and putting it back in place when you're satisfied with the amount of ammo that is left. You look to your right to see Dae-ho fiddling with his own gun. Just as you're about to help him, Hyun-ju steps forward.

"Attention," she says, holding up her gun. "This is the MP5, a submachine gun." She continues on the demonstrate how to load the weapon and set it to the mode you should be using. When she's done, she looks at you all. "Are we clear?"

"Yes," you answer, falling right back into the rhythm with your sergeant.

Hyun-ju nods to you, silently telling you to stay by her when you get out there.

"How do you two know each other?" Dae-ho questions, his voice a bit shaky.

You smirk, cocking the MP5. "I was in the 13th Special Missions Brigade. Hyun-ju was my sergeant."

Dae-ho stares at you, completely stunned. "You were in the Decapitation Unit?!"

You chuckle at his disbelief, nodding.

The man can't believe it. He's been bragging about being an ex-Marine while there's been two ex-Special Forces soldiers right next to him the whole time.

Gi-hun points a pistol at the square-masked guard. "Take it off."

The guard slowly removes his mask, revealing a boy no older than 25.

"Good God," Jung-bae says. "Do your parents know what you're doing here?"

The guard just stares at him.

Gi-hun cocks the pistol. "Take us to your captain."

<>

"All players, it is bedtime now. Please return to your quarters immediately. Otherwise, you will be eliminated from the game. Let me repeat..."

Gi-hun fires at the speaker, effectively shutting up the voice. Three guards are stood over you. "Get down!"

You duck behind the wall of the stairs. Feeling a hand on your shoulder, you turn to look at Hyun-ju behind you.

"Cover me!"

You nod, shooting at the guards while she sprints to the top of the stairs. From her new vantage point, she is able to take out one of the guards, causing their body to fall over the ledge and down to the floor.

When you duck down to reload, you see Dae-ho next to you. The ex-Marine is sitting in a ball, covering his ears and flinching every time a shot rings out. You look at him with concern, but your attention is stolen by Gi-hun telling everyone to hold their fire. Dae-ho gets a grip on his weapon and you all move, following Gi-hun and the un-masked guard.

As you move down an alleyway, Gi-hun stops the guard. "How much farther? Is this the right way?"

The boy points toward the end of the hall. "The entrance to the management area is around that corner. The control room is right above it."

Gi-hun pushes him. "Move it, then!"

"Wait," the guard says, reaching toward his pocket.

"What are you doing?" Gi-hun stops him.

"I need my mask to pass security," the guard explains. Gi-hun nods and the guard takes the mask out. He looks up, but before he can say anything else, a bullet goes right through his head.

You all take cover as more shots are fired at you. Something slashes onto your face, and you turn to see Player 072's lifeless body falling to the ground.

You drop the floor and crawl over to Hyun-ju, both of you taking positions in a green square area of the stairs. You nod to each other and duck out of cover, firing at the guards. You can hear the men speaking to each other at the other end of the line, but you focus on taking out as many guards as possible.

You and Hyun-ju alternate firing and taking cover, both of you shooting with deadly precision, doing your best to not waste any of the already low supply of ammo you have.

A player next to you screams and is shot. You turn, shooting at the guard approaching from your rear, taking out a few that are behind that one as well.

"Everyone! Check your magazines!" Hyun-ju calls out.

You take the mag out of the gun, seeing that you have about half of a clip left. Everyone announces that they're around the same.

"Young-il, Dae-ho, can you hear me?" The voice of Jung-bae erupts from your radio.

"Go ahead!" Young-il says.

"I think we're right below the control room." Shots can be heard in the background. "But we need backup and more ammo."

"We're running out of ammo, too!"

"There should be spare magazines in the soldiers' pockets in our quarters. Go get them!" Gi-hun yells through the radio.

"Did you hear that?" Young-il turns to the group. "They need backup! Three of us will go, and the rest will stay! Join us once you get the magazines! Who wants to go with me?"

Players 047 and ... volunteer and they run off towards the end of the hall.

"I'll go get the magazines!" Hyun-ju yells. "I'll come back as soon as I can, so just hold on until then!"

"Hyun-ju!" A voice yells. You turn to see Dae-ho raising his hand. "I'll go!" He hurries over to where you and Hyun-ju are taking cover. "I- I'm out of ammo."

"Do you know the way?" Gyeong-seok asks. Dae-ho nods.

"We destroyed the cameras on the way, follow them," Hyun-ju says.

"I'll go with him," you say. "I still have some ammo, so I'll cover him."

Hyun-ju nods. "I'll cover you. Go!"

You and Dae-ho take off down the stairs. He stops a few times, but you pull him along, keeping your eyes up to watch for the broken cameras. As you're running down the stairs, Dae-ho stops, and you turn to see him staring at a dead guard hanging over the ledge of a window.

"Dae-ho!" Jung-bae yells. "Can you hear me? Where are those magazines?"

You lift your own radio to your mouth. "We're getting them now."

"Alright! We're counting on you!"

You put your radio back in your pocket, grabbing Dae-ho's hand and pulling him along behind you.

You burst into the quarters, letting go of Dae-ho's hand as you sprint to a guard, taking the spare mags out of their pockets. You hear someone say your name and look up to see Yong-sik.

"What happened? Why are you back by yourselves?"

"We're low on ammo," you say, not looking up from the guard you're looting. "We need to get the magazines from their pockets. Help us!"

You look up to the boy to see him nod and run over to a nearby guard. Geum-ja and Jun-hee come over to the help, as well.

Once you've looted all the ammo from the guards, you place them into a jacket you found on one of the dead players. You tie it up and give it to Dae-ho, thanking the others as you lead him out of the room.

Gunshots can be heard as soon as you step outside. You keep moving but when you check behind you, you see that Dae-ho has stopped where he is.

"Dae-ho, we need to go," you urge.

He looks at you silently, but the fear in his eyes sends the message. You've seen soldiers like this before you joined the Special Forces.

Dae-ho stands in his spot, paralyzed other than the shake of his body in fear.

You hear your name and Dae-ho's through the radio. "Where are you? Can you hear me?"

You watch as Dae-ho lifts his radio, staring at it as Hyun-ju's voice comes through.

"Did you find the magazines? Are you on your way?"

Dae-ho looks at you. "I'm sorry," he whispers, dropping the radio on the ground and running back into the quarters with the magazines.

"Shit," you say under your breath. You follow Dae-ho into the room, looking around to find where he went. Yong-sik points toward a bunk and you find Dae-ho curled up there, rocking back and forth. Running over to him, you take the jacket with the mags, ready to run out of there. You take a look at Dae-ho, the pure fear coursing through him as he whispers apologies over and over.

You sigh, remembering one of the lessons Hyun-ju taught you as your sergeant.

Never leave a man behind.

Taking out your radio, you bring it to your lips and press the button. "Charlie Foxtrot."

You put your radio down, knowing that Hyun-ju will know what to do. You had picked up the phrase from your U.S. counterparts, saying it to each other when something goes wrong.

Moving to sit on the bed, you take Dae-ho's hands into yours. "Dae-ho, I need you to breathe with me, alright."

He slowly looks at your face before launching himself into your arms, sobbing into your shoulder. You rub his back comfortingly, knowing you can't leave him alone like this.

After a few minutes, Hyun-ju runs into the room shouting you and Dae-ho's names. She comes running over to you, stopping when she sees Dae-ho in your arms.

"What happened?"

Dae-ho jumps a bit at the new voice, burying his face farther into your jacket.

You look up a Hyun-ju, shaking your head at her. She nods, understanding. You point at the magazines and she scoops them into her arms, ready to take them to the others when the buzzer for the door goes off and more pink guards enter the room, firing in the air and making everyone scream.

Hyun-ju reloads her SMG, ready to take on the entire group on guards by herself. You watch as Geum-ja puts a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

"You can't die like this."

You sigh in relief as Hyun-ju puts the gun down. From your hidden area, you try to get the guns and mags away from you, making it seem as though the three of you have been here the whole time.

As the guards come further into the room, you use your body to shield Dae-ho from them as he whimpers. You make eye contact with Hyun-ju. Whatever happens next, you'll face it as a team.

~

Dae-ho tags: @whatthefuckeryfuckityfuck @ally1uvsu @thebiggestigurosimp @come-as-you-are-111 @hiphip-horray @k1michii @tpwkcaryslizb @louissst28 @sshwaa @jennwonwoo @sunnysurvives @lalalaa2210 @tayshs @sunshinethatlooksalive @plntmxrss @lxnnrobin @mariaxman @alexx-iia @batty-barty-crouchjr @kxsm3t @takuma-talkz @peacemakersbeloved @skywalker0809 @soobinbunnie5

[bylrlve]

Warning! Spoilers for Stranger Things 5 mentioned,

Rewatching episode 2, and I’m genuinely staggered by how many times Mike peeks at Will. It’s very clear his mind is on Will, in fact. I am also staggered by just how many small byler details are in here.

His whole face drops after no. 4 too, as @starbylers observed here.

I also want to include these @chirpsythismorning gifs from the roller rink scene, as they’re brilliant:

Mike watching Will get out of the van, and seemingly offering a hand to him.

Mike openly watching Will as they take their skates.

(X) (X)

These are very deliberate acting choices from Finn Wolfhard, and he was certainly doing it on instruction.

Some other notes on 402:

The transition from Mike and El being fake -> Murray looking up looking like he’s experiencing his Seeing Clearly -> Robin talking about Vickie laughing ‘and not like a cheap, fake laugh, but a real, genuine laugh’, right after we saw Mike hiding his genuine disgust at burritos for breakfast behind a tone of fake laughter.

Mike’s whole face just drops into an unhappy, spaced-out espression when it zooms in on El - this is after Will ignored his sock joke (video here by @buckybxarnes)

As many have observed, Mike and El look genuinely miserable when viewed from Angela’s perspective, as opposed to the shot of them skating with Will miserable behind them

It’s occurred to me that in s2, 3, and 4, the byler plot really takes off in episode 2. I’m wondering if that’s also the case with s5 - I’ve reconsidered my theory that the Mike + El rooftop scene takes place after the hospital plot in ep 2, as I’ve heard that the paparazzi at the filming site were told it was in episode 1.

The door slam/open transition between Joyce going to the bank to get the 40k random for Hopper, utterly singleminded, and Mike barging into the womens’ bathroom, being kicked out, and subsequently starting an argy-bargy with Will as opposed to continuing to prioritise El… well!

The disparity in time is so interesting. El counts off 185 days since she last saw Mike - which is roughly six months, as is canon within the show (Sept-Oct 1985-March 1986). And here Mike is, saying ‘you knew she was having trouble for, like, a year’ and Will saying ‘it’s been a year, Mike’ and, in 404, Mike saying ‘the last year has been weird.’ It’s pretty obvious the last one is Mike referring to their fight nine months earlier, plus the time prior that Mike had spent pulling away from the rest of the Party to focus on El. The second one is Will potentially referencing the time that elapsed since their fight - even if it’s moreso subtext from the writers. What, then, to make of Mike saying Will knew El was having trouble for, like, a year? What subtext could be meant by this? I’d love to hear your guys’ thoughts because u can’t quite deduce this.

Mike listing off everything Will did is so hilarious given the surveillance he carried out all day on the boy, and given the fact that poor El being humiliated publicly and assaulted with liquid before she skated off bawling did not, apparently, ruin the day. On second thoughts, I understand what Will meant… she’s in trouble having Mike’s gay ass for a boyfriend.

What’s striking me now is that this fight + El’s iconic roller skate moment, are the real emotional climaxes of this episode’s M/E/W plot. It could have been Mike finding El and comforting her before she lashed out at Angela. It could have been him talking to her afterwards. It could have been at the house - him following her up to her room and silently comforting her until she fell asleep. No, no. Mike and Will airing out their grievances (and Mike betraying which of the two truly emotionally affects him more) + El handling her own shit, while Mike thoroughly disapproves.

The way that Will just wants to be Mike’s friend, but it’s Mike making it so deeply weird.

The way, also, that they stick together at the rink even after the fight, and Mike openly is more preoccupied by Will in the van. I’ve seen it observed before: the parallel between El and Will staring out the same window in the van crying: Mike looks at Will in the shot. He does not look at El in the shot.

I think it’s hilarious that Mike ends the fight by feigning concern for El - he offered her no comfort whatsoever, actively stood away from her when she was waiting for Jonathan and Argyle to arrive, ignored her crying in the van, and of course:

She didn’t look fine.

Mike and Will are blocked together, not Mike and El

The sincerity of Mike’s concern over El juxtaposed with the rank falseness of ‘no, that’s…that’s not true, maybe I was a little upset in the moment’ etc really sticks out - the defensiveness is reminiscent of the tone he took with Will during the fight, but even then he was more sincere-sounding because he was more emotionally affected.

Bylers don��t talk enough about the insanity of ‘who… who said that I didn’t?’ In context, thinking logically, Mike is very likely referring to Will here (the bullies were shouting at her, he could hear what they were saying)- and why would his mind immediately go to ‘Will thinks I don’t love El, and has told her his suspicions?’ Why would he take a defensive tone?

Seriously, 402-403 M/W/E may well be the plot that (potentially) spells out byler endgame the most.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Finished Last Twilight, and I'm not adding to the ableism discourse, because most things have already been said and with a lot of beautiful nuance that I agree with. But I do want to talk about how that ending arrived because of Aof Noppharnach's consistent symbolic commentary on the experience of living with HIV in much of his work, with an approach that's unique among all queer content. Imma skip Gay OK Bangkok since its not even a metaphor there, but I'll explain my rationale for the others, and we can just appreciate the foundation Gay OK Bangkok lays for us to think about the rest of his stuff.

The motif of life-saving medical intervention comes up in all but one of the works he takes screenwriting credit on. He's Coming To Me: P'Med dies originally because of a lack of medical intervention. 1000 Stars: Tian gets a heart transplant. Moonlight Chicken: this one's more subtle, but the whole series is explicitly established in the context of reopening following the COVID pandemic, and Wen will later say to Jim, "we are survivors." It was this line upon rewatch that made me start considering how thorough this theme is. Survivors of what? The meaning is three-fold: hard lessons in love, COVID, and, for gay men of their age, the HIV epidemic. The hope of medical intervention for Day's condition takes on a secondary meaning, with this trend in mind, even if the mixed disability politics between visual impairment and being HIV positive really fails.

His comparisons are more intricate though. Pills and daily regimens are a consistent motif. Day has his daily eye-drops, Tian his pills (which are presumably immune-suppressants to help accept the transplant but I'm not going to Viki right now and watching every ep to find out so someone feel free to correct me). 'But people take medicine for lots of things,' you say. 'Just because its gay doesn't mean its an HIV metaphor!' You have a fair point! But here's where Aof gets real fun and sneaky. P'Med dies from lack of pills the same year Torfun, whose heart will save Tian's life, is born, 1997. I'm mentioned once before 1997 as important for the class-conscious Aof because of the Asian financial crisis that Thailand set off that year. However, 1997 is also important because its the year HAART, or Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy was first used in Thailand (it had hit the market only one year earlier). HAART, a multi-drug regimen, boosted someone's life-expectancy with HIV up by 15 years, and its side-effects were significantly milder than previous approaches. The medical conditions of P'Med and Torfun's heart point us directly to HAART, and what it could offer.

Now we're moving out of the medical and into the experiential connections because, while Dark Blue Kiss is the only work Aof chose to take credit for screen-writing without incorporating medical references, it is by far the most dense with references to the issue of concealment. Its in the narrative as people closet identities and hide relationships, yes, but its in SO much of the visuals, too, most obviously the Pete & Kao mug hidden inside its coozie. It's easy to see the surface story about gay visibility and the closet, but there's a more specific subtext here about the associated condition that intensified the stigma of being gay and how that impacts your sense of self. Bad Buddy explores this issue less, but even in the BL Bubble, its haunted by the stigma of homophobia--it just shuffles it over onto rivalry so the audience can experience it without reproducing it.

However, the grief and shame of surviving when others haven't haunts Aof's other works much more intensely. Jim and Tian both are hung up on guilt for someone's death that they did not actually cause, continuing to pursue the goals for those that passed rather than their own. Then, there's Thun and P'Med, which is the best allegory for living and dating with HIV, bar none. It goes into the feelings of stigma and the limits of physical intimacy with partners that living with HIV caused, especially prior to Truvada's introduction in 2004. Even then, the show depicts how a HIV negative partner maintains the choice to participate in their own regimens, as Thun's desires for physical intimacy with P'Med manage their relationship and never the other way around.

This sense of required separation and gay identities that are less sex-focused also play into oft-maligned motifs in Aof's work. He's talked explicitly about people's criticisms of the limited physical intimacy in his earlier works that led to the more prominent stuff in Bad Buddy, but I hope given the above context, we can appreciate why physical intimacy is less of a priority than other kinds (and I'd add that 1000 Stars, which got the most sh*t about it, is actually one of the most erotically-charged BLs out there because of it's restraint). Then, you have the finales where characters separate for periods of time, and while I don't see this as explicitly tied to HIV experiences (Aof is literally following the book of romcom beats there, even if everyone whines about it), I can't help but appreciate a tangential connection to loving beyond time and distance that was required for those who lived with or lost loved ones to HIV.

I would've loved to see a version of Last Twilight that didn't absolutely bungle its metaphor, because it had every element to be something great (except, I'm sorry to the fans, lead actors with the necessary queer romantic chemistry). Watching the last episode, when the show seemed to finally rediscover plot and pacing, all the other pieces that had been drowned out by the disability conversation peeked their heads out, and I saw what the show wanted to be. The topics related to living with HIV of stigma, survivor's guilt, and assistive technologies: they were all right there, not just for Day but for everyone, if only they had been given the proper time to marinate to develop more complexity. It's the rare instance of a show where I'll choose to spend time imagining what could have been rather than obsessing over what was or just moving on. Even a misstep from Aof, like this, is overflowing with so many more layers than most series. The failures of Last Twilight, in relationship to his other works, even let you see how much food for thought he's providing.

[bl-bracket]

Since you are taking questions what would be your top 5 QLs? Or even just five you’d personally recommend?

oooo gosh I always get so indecisive with top lists and am always influenced by the things I have most recently watched but I'll try my best

Unfortunately, I still haven't seen a lot of gls yet. I've watched my fair share of gl mini series and started a few full length series, but unfortunately it seems like the gls I am most interested in like to air during the times I don't have time to watch dramas (I actually only just recently got to watch a couple dramas after a couple months of being too busy). There's a lot I need to catch up on still! So apologies in advance but this list is just going to be bls. Catch me in the summer and I'll hopefully have found the time to watch some gls that I really enjoy!

anyways

Word of Honor

This shouldn't be so much of a surprise if you have read the tags of any poll I've reblogged with any character from this show (especially Zhou Zishu). I binged the whole show in a matter of days (mind you, that 36 50min episodes). Even though the show is censored, I'd make the argument that it's still queer. Even if you took the show on absolute face value, Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing are committed to each other for life and their only wish is to spend the rest of their days together. Like it's still queer, even if they don't kiss.

Anyways, I have been obsessed with this show since day 1. I've since fallen in love with the wuxia genre. I also love characters who are objectively horrible people. And I love the dynamic between Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing. There's a reason I've read like the majority of the fics about them on ao3. This show has a grip on me that will not let go.

2. The Sign

This show also captivated me body and soul. I loved every minute of it. It's like they made a show that appeals specifically to me. Phaya and Tharn are two of my favorite characters of all time. Phaya especially in the earlier eps won my heart with just how down bad and horny he was for Tharn. The special episodes made me realize that my ideal tv show would be a like 50 episode detective drama about their crew where they do case of the week stuff interspersed with fantasy and magic powers and whatnot and with a bunch of phaya and tharn making out and having sex thrown in. Like I would eat that shit up. I need more of them badly.

3. See Your Love

This is a recent one that I just watched! I hopped on a little late, right before the finale, and I had so much fun! I loved how they handled Jiang Shaopeng's disability and they managed to stick the landing so well! I know some people had problems with other bits of the plot and how they were resolved, but honestly they got the most important part right, which is what matters (and I enjoy some messy plot points that don't make sense mixed into my dramas). I LOVED the side couple. Wang Xinjia my beloved kitten <3. Anyways I really hope we'll get a special episode (maybe of Yang Zixiang and Jiang Shoapeng's wedding?)

4. Love for Love's Sake

I watched this drama last spring in one sitting while incredibly sick and it broke me. My process with this drama went "oh it looks like there's a new high school kbl out! hmm those usually aren't my preference but I'll guess I'll check out it's mdl page" to "oh shit? it's an isekai story? now those I love. I guess I'll watch it while I'm sick at home!" to "I am emotionally devasted." Don't know what else to say other than this is probably my favorite kbl of all time.

5. My School President

I haven't rewatched this series in a bit, but it holds a very dear part in my heart. I usually don't vibe with the typical high school fluff shows, but this one was different. I don't know why lol. I think all of the plot stuff surrounding Chinchillaz really reminded me of some of my better experiences in high school, which made me come to appreciate the characters in a different light, cause I really felt like my teenage self would have had so much in common with them. Then the romances were also good. Soundwin is still up there in my favorite ql ships. Idk man this show just hit the right boxes for me. It feels very different to gmmtv's other school fluff shows and I love it very much.

[imsailorpluto]

So I've finally finished Bloodhounds (+ ahjussi collection)

...and I have no idea where to start and what to say and how to feel.

No, wait, please hear me out.

It was b l o o d y and at parts a very difficult watch, as it has lots of explicit fighting scenes, which look extremely realistic and cruel. So cruel that I had to close my eyes and not watch, I even skipped many & i'm not sorry. However, there are also parts so heartwarming that it makes you forget about all the crimes and gore for a moment. So, it's up to you to decide if it's worth the struggle. Since the violence could be a bit too much for many, let's just say I do and don't recommend this one at the same time. Personally, one of things I greatly enjoyed is the subtle comic tone of Gun-woo's and Woo-jin's interactions with each other and their characters which represent people doing sports professionally so well, the purity of their hearts and lack of malice in everything they do, since they truly do live for the sports. Then there are two absolutely powerful and skillful young women, Hyeong-ju and Da-min, playing such important roles in the entire series, each of them individually contributing so much to the entire plan of bringing the bad guys down and saving what could still be saved. And also, one of the most enjoyable parts were definitely the bonds that came out of these newly formed friendships. Younger acting crew did an amazing job. In comparison to the older and experienced ahjussi crew (I'll get to them in a bit), they've got some serious talent. It must have been a huge undertake for both Woo Do-hwan and Lee Sang-yi to live up to the expectations of the entire team behind this drama. And they did it. They absolutelly slayed.

If you still haven't watched this drama, trust me when I say these two cinnamon rolls will instantly win your heart right at the beginning of the first episode. They're like the most perfect two besties you'd want to be besties with too. And yeah, you'll suffer thru all the horrors just to see them win the biggest battle of their lives. Gosh, every time I tried typing something coherent about them it just ended up being lots of crying shaking throwing up. They're the best, ok? And this is best I can do. ╥﹏╥

And while our marine boys scratched so many itches around this platform, I have to mention the absolute gentlemen that starred in this series and swept me off my feet *deepest sigh ever*

So many great actors took part in Bloodhounds, it's hard to believe my own eyes at times. Whoever was in charge of the casting did a killer job. I couldn't even take the bad guys seriously because they're freakishly handsome. Well, at least not until Kim Myung-gil brutally ended my favourite ahjussi trio damn you ep 6

What started as an obsession over two young marine guys and their bromance ended up as a hole in my heart over downfall of three middle aged criminals men and a will to trade all the money and gold bars for their lives. And more importantly, a huge appreciation for Korean actors over the age of 40.

No, let's be real. They're handsome and talented and great at their job and deserve all the love and support. With that in mind... here's a tiny screenshot dump because it would be a shame not to post it:

And I want to be normal about them and move on in peace but *internal screams* I've already mentioned Lee Hae-young in one of my earlier posts, addressing my obsession with the character he portrays, the sushi restaurant owner Hwang Yang-jung. And I know many people are obsessed with him too. But no one is speaking up. Which is silly. And tbh I really thought there would be more gifs of him and other men but...there's close to none? Can we talk about how fine this man is? How fine this whole ahjussi crew is? Can we... can we just acknowledge they sliced us all in tiniest pieces possible and burned us all till we turned into charcoal? Can we make a mess of kdrama side of tumblr by excessively posting about them? Pretty please?

It's true, I came for the boys, but stayed for these men. I'm not even joking when I say kdrama has me in a chokehold again, but this time for a whole new reason. Dropping everything just to watch series and movies these guys took part in sounds like the best idea at the moment. I even forgot about the new releases I started watching, which makes me laugh at myself, but... it is what it is. At some point, a girl just has to obsess over her favourite ahjussi, and that's okay.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday lovely Fandom. Zero Chenford in this one but it is very good ep overall regardless. They’ve got good separate moments. Still a good ep for them as characters. This will probably be way way shorter than usual ha. We haven’t had this small of content since the Fed eps in S4 which were meh af ha Let us get started.

5x15 The Con

We start out with Lucy and Aaron doing some leg work for Angela's OP on Elijah. This entire ep centers around it and everyone's part in it. I do love how Aaron fits in with both Lucy and Tim. Fun to see them work this OP together to take down Elijah. Lucy moving like a skilled bad ass planting the bug on his car. Aaron being the decoy pretending to be a clueless bystander. I adore her ‘Tell your dog I said Hi’ Feels like a Melissa shirt and I love that. I recall her wearing it in 4x03 as well. Always enjoy seeing pieces of Melissa appear on the show. Anyways fun to see her being a BAMF in the field. They work well together.

19 minutes into an episode to see my boy isn’t acceptable LOL Mmm but what a shot it is though my god. Metro Tim in his tight shirt, can see his badge near his hip, and his gun also hanging out on display. Mmm yummy. That duty belt is doing thing to me clearly haha *ahem* Back to the SL though... They’ve captured Elijah’s top lieutenants. Trying to give the illusion Abril has captured them. Trying to get Elijah to spook for their OP tonight.

I do love the crossed arms. One of my favs Tim positions. Those sexy biceps will be the death of me. But then so will this entire ensemble of his. Then we get a nice shot of him staring into interrogation as Garza leaves. ‘Metro Police’ Stretched deliciously across his back. Man is fine af. Oozes sex just standing there.

Aaron and Lucy are still following Elijah around. Listening into his phone calls. Seeing if their spooking is working. It would appear that it is. He is in a panic since his Lieutenants have been snatched and now his lawyer. It is fun to watch Lucy in her element in the field. Her and Aaron make a solid pairing to watch. We needed this since her and Tim can’t always be together on job now for most part.

Elijah calls for Angela. Earlier in the cold open she offered him a deal. To help him take out Abril’s heavy hitters in exchange for her family’s safety. He scoffed at her offer and passed. Now he’s in a panic and wants the deal. Angela telling Elijah her hitters are at a house in North Hollywood. That he can take them out tonight. It’s a smart trap to set for him and he’s taking the bait.

Celina is involved in this OP as well. Nice to see all hands on deck for this. She is being used as decoy for Elijah’s guys to see. Make them look like they’re distracted and weak before they move in. Mmmm love Tim leaning against that door frame. Sexy beast of a man. Just waiting with his team to spring into action. I love watching Tim in the field. See how his mind works. Always have because he's just so damn good at what he does. Watching him in full tactical gear doing same thing? *fans self* I'll take Metro Tim in the field all damn day.

I also love watching Lucy in field as well. They’re both in their element in this OP. It’s really fun to watch them do what they do best. They're both so good at their jobs and this episode is a good reflection of that. I'm just so proud watching Lucy in these scenes with Aaron. Getting to see Lucy command her portion of the OP. Directing Aaron on what to do. Making calls for them on the fly like above. I know Tim would be so very impressed just watching her handle herself like this. I know I am.

The tension leading up to Elijah getting up to the house is immense. They can’t arrest him unless he is physically on the premises. Not only that but has break into the house with their illegals firearms. If they do anything before then it won't stick. It'll look like more retaliation from Angela and nothing more. Tim and his team waiting inside for him to enter guns at the ready. Yum.

Lucy and Aaron coming in as backup. They’re entering the perimeter when Aaron kicks a bottle…loudly ….It ruins the entire OP. Elijah bails on the attack. They head back to their cars. They spent the entire day setting this up and it's ruined in an instant because Aaron wasn't looking where he was going. Oof.

The angry glare Lucy gives Aaron. Phew Lord. Man if looks could kill.... This is my favorite part of the episode. She learned that disapproving glare from her man. Aaron is feeling the weight of it as he follows her. Deflated and knowing he is the one who blew this OP. It's a rough night to be Aaron.

Also i’m just continuously proud of the bad ass Lucy's become. Running her own side of this OP like a boss. Aaron following her without question. It’s why he’s feeling crushed she is disappointed in him. That look said more than she could ever yell at him in this moment. LOVING her hair in a pony tail for this OP too BTW. Fantastic.

That’s all she wrote for this one. Zero content but still good field moments. Watching them both in their element always fun to watch IMO.

No side notes since this was basically all non Chenford ha

Thank you thank you to all who like, comment and reblog these reviews. Insane we're barreling towards the end of this season. You all have made this so much fun. I shall see you in 5x16 :)

[tasty-littl-snack]

same anon as before; thank you for your thoughtful answer and analysis, i hope you don't mind if i give some additional thoughts

for background, i was one of the fans that was soured by the announcement of the streamer. i didn't go and spam hate, though, it just felt like a kind of blow which slowed down my support from them. it never wavered though, and i still watch their things on youtube from time to time (i can't afford a subsription or any subscription, for that matter, i only have a spotify student discount). i guess what upset me so much is knowing how many people were in the same situation as me.

obviously the discourse was blown out of proportion (if you can even call it discourse, at times it was pure venom) and things changed for the worse (in my personal opinion). they were enclosed in a decision which was supposed to be freeing from them and backtracking to youtube meant increased dependency on performance-analysis when making content-based decisions (as their overall audience on youtube became smaller and people left, so did other fans like you and me, who prefer non-spooky shows - ultimately leaving the large percentage of horror fans to "dictate" the performance of their content). I think this aligns with what you said in your reply; that GF, MF and AYS are the best performing; but they are also the most "conventional" shows that Watcher makes, appealing to the widest audience. It doesn't leave a big space for fans who prefer niche topics (i'm sorry, but i don't see ghosthunting or telling ghost stories as niche at all, even when they do it in their special ways :/)

i agree with what you said about making different channels for different types of content. i will admit that i am one of those rare (?) fans who doesn't care for horror OR food content. i recognize that this isn't their fault, because it's my personal preference, but again we come back to the fact that OTHER shows will get pushed back, which again, upsets me. this is obviously largely on me, though.

i kind of disagree with your point about the podcast. i certainly feel as if watcherpod started as something different than being about the goings-on and current things in watcher ent. just look at their earlier episodes, something like from ep. 1 to ep. 15 (?), when they all had to come up with a one-word topic and chat shit the whole podcast about random stuff. i loved those episodes as they provided us with a different view of all three of them and gave us some great anecdotes and running jokes. the podcast has become worse, in my opinion, because now it feels like an (unnecessary?) extention of content they already have put out (the ghost files debrief s3 episodes were an hour long? and more? basically a podcast ep). sure they provide some good insight, but how much more can they talk about ghosts? i have also noticed the influx of new fans who send them questions on the pod, which is great, but i find myself listening to stories and answers which i, and many other long time fans, have heard thousands of times over, and are well-known in the fandom space. i'll admit here too that this one is more of a personal grievance and relates back to the fact that i dislike horror content.

sorry for the word vomit but i am looking forward to your reply :)

Thank you for your thoughts. I didn't consider that there are actually fans who came back after having been soured by them, I admit in the last half year I became more of in a bubble of being on the streamer since it is something I am fortunate enough to afford. But as you mentioned many fans couldn't, and thus watcher needed to focus on youtube again and make adjustements.

I find it interesting that you said that both of us left in a way, and that might skew the amount of views they get on non-spooky content. I didn't think of it that way, but indeed putting things on the streamer diminishes the youtube views, this is even true for the podcast which went up yesterday. And I did the thing they expect me to and didn't give a view to the youtube version because I could already watch it earlier. I think the same is for the shows. Fans of spooky content will always come back for it, while fans who might have watched and enjoyed www didn't because they still had feelings about not wanting to support them. (I'm not saying it's you but I've seen some opinions that skew that way).

This is also an insteresting year because Puppet History didn't premiere so we don't know how that would have preformed. Maybe if they did premiere it, some fans would come back earlier and they'd see that they don't need to change into spooky content in everything they do. But we'll never know at this point. I hope the new season preforms well enough that they'll keep it on the main channel, because while not performing as well as ghost files I feel like it has many dedicated fans and is one of the staple watcher shows, wether they planned for that or not.

Yes ghost hunting content might not seem like a niche one but I meant it in comparison to other youtube channels, or if you were to explain watcher to a new person who hadn't heard of ghost hunting before. If youtubers read stories then they just pull them from reddit and not think about it, ays is more of a unique way to do it than just people reading a story and laughing about it.

That's the tricky thing about having a production company as a business but doing personality driven content. It all hinges on people wanting to watch and trust that the shows will be good and the content will not change. Therefore implementing changes is always a risk.

It seems that the main criticisms that they took to heart was that they don't listen to their fans. This is why they made a way for them to contact them, and I didn't get the impression that they answer the same questions all the time - only when people call in live, which happened twice or maybe three times at this point. This puts them on the spot and they have to answer a question that would be usually filtered out by Matt, the producer of the podcast.

When you mentioned that the first fifteen eps seemed different I went back and saw that they didn't have Matt Real in them yet (In a speaking role or otherwise as a producer, the camera angles and lights are different). Therefore the shows are less structured than in the later eps, and they go on a tangent a lot in a way they don't later because mr Real heards them like a pack of sheep to topics and segments that he comes up with. It might be a personal preference wether that's good or bad, personally I love him and I like the vibe that they all get along. But that might lead to the impression that these are friends hanging out and they have topics between themselves that a listener is not a part of. You can always tell them that, if you plan on listening later. I know that when they started taking in the viewer questions many people said that they prefer the off the cuff topics they come up with and they seem to have one or two questions per ep now. (They take last 15 minutes of a one hour podcast and they sometimes also go on tangents from them.)

That change happened in June I think and that's when they let go of their patreon and another show that was basically answering questions my absolute beloved wife, watcher weekly +. (rip sweet prince I miss you every day). Of course these shows were shorter (up to 30 mins every week), but they did go into the behind the scenes content of watcher in a way it is now continued in pod watcher and I really appreciate. But yeah if you started to listen to the podcast for them I get how it might be dissatisfying. (WW+ also went under major overhaul somewhere in the middle of 2023 and became more of a structured show, for the ease of them batch shooting the episodes, and I think that's one of the things - if they shoot say two podcast eps per day, then they can't really have current topics, or talk about what happened last week because it's still the same day and they are people at the end of the day. It is more convenient for them to shoot the eps this way and ultimately they have to produce content in a sustainable way for them.).

About the debriefs, well I think that since they plan on probably keeping the alternating week schedule, they need to justify the content by length. It also probably has to do with youtube algorythm because as I said earlier - uploading content similar in nature around one hour, or 40 minutes is good for it, even if it might make less sense for the structure of the episode (and in the last one they answered the same question twice, and that also has to do with catering to the youtube audience. One part of questions is from the streamer people, the other is from youtube viewers, which sometimes makes for interesting corrections they wouldn't have made, but sometimes they answer questions they already did weeks ago. My personal theory is that they didn't plan on having them that long but then realized that not answering questions from youtube might once again bring the haters in and people saying that they don't care about their audience. So debriefs are a way to compromise and satisfy both audiences. (This is pure speculation on my part though).

So yeah in the end they need to carter to many people and they're at least trying to give the people what they want. I'm very interested to see how they will respond to the comments that people gave them. It's great that most of them are positive and people aren't afraid to tell them what they think. I hope it can only get better from here :D

[taikk0]

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO ASK THIS EARLIER but, who would the other characters be? Spike? Cadence? Trixie? Sunset Shimmer? Starlight Glimmer? OH MY GOD THE POWERPONIES EPISODE AS THEIR SUPERHERO/VILLAIN PERSONAS?! I have so may ideas and you're a fucking GOLDMINE of Ideas so THANK YOU

A few canon answers and a few non-canon answers :] (well.. it's an AU, so technically all of it is non-canon......BUT answers nonetheless!!!!)

I always thought Spike to be Sparky, this is a personal headcanon, and haven't really gotten any confirmation on it (since I never asked LOL :P) but here's an unfinished piece of mine of My Little Park Sparky and little Stan. Sorta make's sense too since Equestria Girls Spike is also a dog

As of now, I don't think anyone has thought up who Cadence would be, but of course, whoever Cadence is would be in a relationship with Shelley; who takes the role of Shining Armor.

Clyde takes the role of Trixie Lulamoon as the great and powerful Clyde Donovan!!

For Sunset Shimmer, there is this fan design by kyoplleeee on Twitter who assigned Heidi as Sunset. (along with Red as Glida and Wendy as Moondancer)

@cookieluvr5268 (the creator) mentioned that Thomas would take the role of Starlight Glimmer

(I found the original tweet suggesting Thomas' role too)

But there is also this post by @alenrainyartsblog that assigned Starlight as Jimmy

I'm cool with either. to be honest, I think it might be because I'm not that invested in Thomas or Jimmy as characters that much because I play favorites and I don't pay that much attention to them. Sorry Thomas and Jimmy fans, I still care about them but just not that much 😭

THE POWER PONIES X TFBW IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA I DON'T KNOW HOW I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE. Though if I'm being honest, I would love to have two separate designs for their version of the episode just for the funsies. I think translating their superhero personas into My Little Park is cool, but I kind of like entertaining the idea of redesigning the Power Ponies to fit My Little Park as well :3 (It's been a while since I watched the EP though... I don't hate it but it's just one of those episodes that I don't mind skipping lol) Also, Thank YOU for planning on making My Little Park stuff when I can't at the moment. The AU must LIVE ON even when I'm busy with other junk, and even if the creator of the AU has gone on break and the My Little Park hashtag on twitter has become so BARREN. Everyone on there has probably moved on but I SURE AS HELL HAVEN'T. I'm so hungry.............. Anyways, If you want more information and content about the AU check out @going-down-2-my-little-park!! It's a fan blog I made to archive everything about the AU, and soon this post is gonna be on there too! Also, follow the AU's creator @cookieluvr5268. They're usually more active on Twitter though, and even then, they're on a break at the moment, but please follow them and support them. BECAUSE I DIDN'T MAKE THE AU AND PEOPLE KEEP THINKING I DID DESPITE TAGGING THE CREATOR IN EVERY FANART OF THE AU 😭😭

[darling-wendy]

episode 10 had to happen

(i.e. Kazuki and Rei had to lose Miri so they could properly choose her)

In my last meta post I said this: [I could write a whole screed about how ep 10 was a necessary--at least a highly valuable--story beat, but this post is already very long. Some other time, perhaps. ]

It's time!

Misaki coming back for Miri in episode 10 is a plot point that I've seen get a lot of dislike—and even hate—from fans of the series. Emotionally, I get it. The sweet, chaotic order of the family we'd come to know and love ends up abruptly upended and all for a character that was already disliked. But I've always maintained that it was necessary, for multiple reasons. The obvious one is the in-universe rationale: the organisation—Suwa Shigeki specifically—has taken note of Miri and the fact that she's apparently been adopted by Rei.

(One thing that took me a couple watches to realise was that Shigeki had to have pre-arranged for someone to go tail Kazuki and Miri at the supermarket before he messaged for Rei to return. After Ogino splits off from Rei near the end of episode 8, we see him go to Yadogiri and give Kyu the above photo. That was from earlier in the episode.)

This is an active, looming threat to her life. In order to get ahead of it, Kyu contacts Misaki so she can take Miri away. The fact that Shigeki was already interested enough to have a dossier created is precisely why it doesn't work—it's too paltry an offering for such a ruthless and single-minded individual. We already saw him have the romantic partner of one of his men, Kaji Satoru, be brutally killed as collateral damage. But something had to be attempted and it wasn't a terrible idea.

The other reason is displayed at the very end of episode 11. Narratively, for the Kurusuwa family to be real, they have to choose each other and fight to keep each other.

In episode 1, the three of them cross paths of the first time in the form of Miri running into the special lift and getting herself right in the middle of their hit, making it chaotic and messy and nearly getting killed in the process. Kazuki uses her as an excuse to get out of the building before the police arrive, and he takes her back tot heir place because there's no other choice for them in the moment. At home, they find out that their mark was her bio dad.

In episode 2, they find out that Miri's mother sent her away because she doesn't want to raise her anymore. They try to get info out of Miri about her mother so they can send her back, but she's too little to be of help. They then resort to "slyly" asking Kyu (drawing his suspicions in the process lol). While they're there, they end up accepting a job that they ultimately end up taking Miri along with. It's a terrible decision and a whole shit show. The job implodes, Miri and Kazuki are almost killed, Kyu is pissed at them. But they get the info they need about Misaki's whereabouts.

In episode 3, they set out to send Miri back to her mother they way they have been scheming to do since she stumbled into their path. Despite their previous stance on Miri, Rei surprisingly (?) shows reluctance to send her back and Kazuki clearly isn't ecstatic to be doing it either. But it's the "right" thing to do, so off they go. While Rei is embracing the idea of being a parental figure to Miri for the first time, Misaki is— quite predictably—rejecting Miri when Kazuki shows up. So, Miri is effectively abandoned and orphaned by her two legal parents, leaving her in the care of the two guys who killed her father. And, like a lot of things, Rei and Kazuki don't really talk about it.

"For three?" Rei asks.

"For three," Kazuki confirms.

"Got it."

And that's it. This child falls into their laps, they make a single failed attempt to give her to a relative, and then for the next six episodes, we watch them try to shape themselves into becoming her parents. It's easy to get sucked into the story and forget (or at least not actively think about) the fact that they didn't deliberately adopt this child (or birth her, the way Kazuki's mind has gone the extra mile to implant lol) and that they ostensibly didn't want her at the start. Then episode 10 happens and the reality check comes.

By this point, they want to keep Miri and they initially argue with Misaki about her motives and her timing. But there really is nothing else to be done except capitulate and give Miri up. They have to let her go. It hurts, but it also gives weight and meaning to when they ultimately resolve to be a family for good. The second time around, it involves actually getting out of hitman work, which was something they hadn't felt moved to do when Miri simply ended up with them the first time.

I know another part of the reason some people don't like this plot point is the pacing, that they get her back one episode after giving her up, but that's never bothered me 🤷🏽‍♀️ Shigeki was always going to escalate the situation into triple homicide and I personally think that a whole episode of 'Miri hangs out with Misaki, oblivious to her change in living arrangements, while Rei and Kazuki sulk and pine' would be dragging the separation out for the sake of it. Their depression and misery and regression, down to Rei finally giving up and deciding to head back to Shigeki, is more than enough for me.

I'm aware that some people also don't like it because it bring Misaki back just to kill her off in the next episode and, controversially (??) I'm fine with that too. Not in a vindictive 'I hate Misaki' kind of way, just purely in a 'it raises the stakes and also permanently ties up a loose end' kind of way.

[sparring-spirals]

hi! sorry to bother you with this but I don’t really know how to search for it online and I don’t know anyone else that follows cr/has seen C2, so… when they brought devexian back online I know he was very broken and couldn’t remember much, but he was… somewhat functional, right? like, his core was intact etc?

I’m asking because I’ve been having this feeling lately that they’ll get to the repair terminal in the genesis ward in the next ep or so, and for the live show they’ll somehow fix fcg through the same means the mighty nein used for D (and that’s how sam would make his appearance at the show), since they kept the pieces after the explosion…

I guess my question is… would it work? can they fix fcg there? or would the core need to be intact for that? was devexian’s? could the repair terminal give them another core or is their core intrinsically linked to their soul? (I guess the last question is more of a meta question since there’s no way we can know that😂 but I’d love to know your opinion on it)

thank you and sorry again for the ramblings🫶🏻

hello anon. I'm deeply flattered you asked me and I am also SO sorry i did not see this until way late. I'm not even sure this answer is still any use given the liveshow has already gappened. but uhm. im here now! Never apologize for asking clarifying questions to me, i dont mind, just know that I sometimes (often) won't know. Or might go AWOL! apparently. This goes quadruple-fold for when I am some million hours behind on the campaign.

Also you sent this in BEFORE the live show and since then the live show has happened and Sam has returned with a hot flirty hunk of a character so I guess that answers that part of your question? I Am. So Sorry. But imo your broader question about if they could bring back F.C.G at all remains.

so that said, knowing that I havent been properly caught up for some 30-40 episodes, I'm going to give my very handwavey opinion, then turn you over to the hands of my followers who are probably more well informed and also probably caught up on the campaign.

I think its important to consider any kind of F.C.G revival on both an out of game perspective and in game perspective, bc I think with revival the latter influences the former a LOT. I think if Sam were really interested in bringing back F.C.G the repair terminals and them keeping parts of F.C.G could factor into it. There's definitely the question of "what makes F.C.G F.C.G" that would have to factor in, which gets philosophical very quick- I think there would have to be some equivalent of a standard revival ritual where they call something back from the beyond, because IMO, putting a "new" core in wouldnt bring back FCG.

Before we even get into the nitty gritty of the philosophy, though I don't know that Sam would want to bring F.C.G back? I mean the live show ended and there's now a hot minotaur in the party so its easy for me to say that. But Sam has also always been someone to commit to the big swings for characters- including losses- and his treatment of F.C.G's death felt like he thought it was meaningful and impactful and said what he wanted it to say. So in that vein- maybe it isnt possible to bring F.C.G back, largely because I think Matt would respect if Sam wouldn't want to leave that on the table.

TL;DR: Its not that I think there's no way to viably justify an F.C.G revival using the repair terminals, but it would be tricky and I don't see them doing that, from what I know. Is there an opportunity for something similar to Molly -> Kingsley towards the end of the campaign? Shore. Maybe. but i dont count that in the bucket youre describing.

anyway. im so sorry for the delay on this anon. i hope you had a good time watching the live show and are enjoying Sam's new character and im sorry i was not present enough to see this and respond earlier 😅

[tinamaetales]

You’re not sorry

“So you’re apologizing…..Ok, I don’t forgive you……No, I’m not gonna give you closure. You don’t get that. You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life. You have to know that it’s never, ever going to be okay……I’m not gonna feel better and I’m not gonna be your prop so you can feel better” - Herb Kazaz, BoJack Horseman Ep. 8 Season 1 “The Telescope”

It has been five years since the last time I stepped foot inside my Psychiatrist's office and now looking back there's a part of me that screams I should have continued my therapy....but the thing is I really cannot afford it. And now, I have become messier than ever. My depression got worse and I'm just trying to survive each day. That's the keyword, trying. I used a lot of distractions though, good and bad. Good distractions are the music of my fave, iKON, and watching Miami Heat games. Bad distractions are spending an awful amount of time watching tiktoks of those who are as mentally ill as I am because instead of going to therapy we just rely on the internet to have some sense of belongingness especially when you feel like no one is really on your side. And I do feel that most of the time......I feel like no one truly understands and no one actually believes that I am struggling badly. I'm mentally unstable despite the fact that I do not have a proper diagnosis about my condition. I just know. Why? Because it's my mind and my body. I can feel it. For fuck's sake, I live with it.

What I noticed in our society is that it is easier to doubt someone who is vocal about their struggles instead of believing them and supporting them. It is easier for our society to gaslight someone into thinking that they are just allowing themselves to be weak instead of understanding them. And when someone decides to end their life, it's either people would finally get it and feel remorseful that they should have seen the signs or they would still say that the generation of today is just not mentally strong enough to handle life. And then there's another scenario, someone will be badly mentally fckd up that they end up being a horrible person then they will treat others horribly too. Hurt people will hurt people and so the cycle never ends.

As I mentioned earlier, I used a lot of distractions as I try to live each day. For someone like me who hates going outside and prefers to be alone, binge watching shows on streaming apps is a form of distraction. I’m not really picky when it comes to movies or series that I watch though, I just want the plot to make sense and not be over the top with so many plot twists and unnecessary “different” endings. One of the series I ended up loving is BoJack Horseman. 

BoJack Horseman is not an easy to watch show. Yes it started as a quirky show about a former lead star of a successful 90s sitcom but as it progressed, it showed the harsh reality of the entertainment industry and how not being held accountable for your fuckery can make you a monster. It's crazy because BoJack as the main character of this show is not likable at all (at least for me). Throughout the show you kinda cheer for him to get better and grow up but then he always ends up disappointing you. However, knowing his history, especially with the kind of family he has, you can't help but feel some empathy for him. I guess that's the thing about main characters, despite the flaws you still want them to become triumphant in the end because somehow you can see a version of yourself with them. But how long can a person tolerate one's behavior? I do not want to label myself as a good person because I know that I am far from that but there is a certain part of me that knows how to forgive especially if they are deserving. However, when someone refuses to be held accountable for their mistakes and refuses to see how toxic they are does it really make me the bad one here if I chose not to forgive?

The show has six seasons and 77 episodes but I did not feel that it was long because the execution of the episodes are great. There are a lot of episodes which make me feel uneasy about how close they hit home. But for this blog post I will be discussing two scenes from two different episodes because these two scenes are about the topics of accountability and forgiveness: The Telescopes from ep 8 of season 1 and It’s You from ep 10 of season 3. 

Have you ever met someone who is too full of himself? A person who obviously has issues in life but does not exert efforts in making himself become better and instead use their difficult past as an excuse for being a shitty person? A person who does not want to be held accountable for their mistakes and people around him tolerated him so he never learns? Well that’s my father. Also, that is who BoJack Horseman is. But if we are going to make this a competition about who is worse then my father is definitely winning this contest, unanimously. While watching the show, I cannot help but see parts of my father in BoJack Horseman especially in episodes “The Telescope” and “It’s You” Both of those episodes have confrontation scenes with a friend of BoJack (Herb in episode 8 season 1 and Todd in episode 10 season 3) who refused to accept his apology and want him to be held accountable for his actions. And I both agree with them.

For context, in the “The Telescopes” episode, Bojack apologized to his friend Herb for betraying him years ago. He chose to protect his career instead of standing with Herb. And he even further that betrayal when he did not contact him for so many years. Now that he learned that Herb has cancer, he decided to visit him and apologized and I like that Herb refused to accept such a self serving apology. The quote above was what Herb told BoJack after he apologized. I like the way he emphasized how BoJack is only apologizing now so he can have closure and to make himself feel better. Because horrible people do that. They will only apologize so that their guilt will not eat them up especially when their apology gets accepted. But the damage has been done, right? Just like what the famous saying states, the ax forgets but the tree remembers. What’s the point of accepting an apology if it does not make you feel better but will only make the jerk feel better coz “yey, finally!” their shitty actions were forgiven. Those kinds of apologies are self-serving. They ended up fighting and then Herb said this line (I really like this one, thank you writers!) “You know what your problem is? You wanna think of yourself as the good guy. Well I know you better than anyone and I can tell you that you’re not. In fact, you’d probably sleep a lot better at night if you just admitted to yourself that you’re a selfish goddamn coward who takes whatever he wants and doesn’t give a shit about who he hurts. That’s you. That’s BoJack Horseman” Now, that’s the kind of wake up call that someone like BoJack deserves to hear. He deserved those words because they are true, he’s a coward. He always blames others or the circumstances to make himself feel better instead of owning up to his mistakes. 

Another episode I mentioned here is the 10th episode from season 3 of the show and here is some context: Todd and BoJack had a confrontation. BoJack was mad that Todd did not want him to become a nominee for the Oscars and then Todd was mad that BoJack slept with Emily (the woman Todd dated). But honestly, I think it was really not the Emily thing that Todd was mad about but rather all the other things BoJack did, like when he sabotaged Todd’s opera, and they all piled up so Todd ended up bursting at that moment. BoJack said “I’m sorry, I screwed up” to which Todd replied with “You can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!” BoJack tried to reason out so Todd followed it up with “You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol or the drugs or any of the shitty things that happened in your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you” This is another “calling out” that BoJack deserves because he just keeps on doing shitty things and then feels bad about it for himself but does not actually do things to make things right. At some point, as a friend you will just get tired of someone like him. And while there’s an argument about what led to this confrontation with Todd is not something that Todd himself should be mad about, I saw that scene as a way of having Todd as the “representative” of all the other people that BoJack treated badly. In that scene, he was being called out for a lot of things he did not just related specifically to Todd.

So now we start the discussion about my father. Actually every time I typed the words “my father” I felt disgusted. I hate being associated with him. I hate the fact that we share the same DNA. I just hate him. And before the moral police come here and yell “But he is still your father!” please hear me out first. A child will not resent or hate their own parent if the said parent was not horrible. And that’s my main issue. My father was a horrible person to us. Actually an entire year is not enough for me to tell the entire story of how horrible he was and why he’s the reason my mother, my sister and I are all fcked in the head now. He treated us horribly but always gave the reason that he’s older so he knows better. He always used the “parent” card and always used the “I provided you food, I sent you to school….” monologue as a justification to his behavior. He’s the kind of person that should have never become a parent and a husband in the first place. He’s a hurt person and he ended up hurting others too - he hurt us. His decisions in life always end up with the rest of the family suffering the most. He had this mantra that since he had it difficult growing up, his children should also not have it easy in life. The latest shitty thing he did is getting a housing loan that he cannot afford just so he can brag to his mother. And when he experienced a difficult time getting employment, I ended up using my bonuses and even acquired a loan just so we can pay for this house because he promised to pay me back once he gets another contract again (he’s a seaman). But then he never did. He was aware of this. He was aware that employment in his career would wither as he aged but he did not care. He still continued with that loan despite objections from us; hell, that jerk was even mad that we were telling him not to buy a house. And fast forward to today, I have no savings and I have a loan too. You might be wondering where he is? Back in his hometown, chilling. He can even sleep peacefully at night while snoring while me, on the other hand, is more mentally fcked up than ever. As I mentioned earlier, he did a lot of shitty things to us but that housing loan was just the most recent. So the “calling out” scenes from BoJack Horseman were some of my favorites from the show because those are also the things I wanted to tell him. I just wish I had the courage to do so.

My relatives are very much aware of this situation but they always tell me to just forgive him; easy to say when you’re not the one directly affected by his actions. They even have the nerve to give me lectures about how important it is to forgive and it makes me a bad person for treating my father this way. But am I really the wrong one here? He’s not even sorry. For years, he will do shitty things to us. Sometimes he apologizes but sometimes he does not. But in all those scenarios, he’s not sorry. I do not feel any sincerity on his part at all. But why is it that despite the fact that I’m the one who was wronged here, he’s the one who has people on his side while I’m the one being labeled as the bad one? I am conflicted because I cannot forgive. For a long time now, I tried so hard to find it in myself to learn to forgive not just him but also all the other people who wronged me but I really cannot do it. I cannot do it because I’m a tree that remembers every hit of the ax while the ax is living comfortably. Why am I the one who cannot have peace of mind when I’m the victim? I have been struggling with the concept of forgiveness for a long time but those confrontations from BoJack Horseman episodes are somewhat validating because it shows how I’m not the only one who cannot accept apologies. He’s not even genuinely sorry, so why would I extend the olive branch here?

X,

TinaMae

PS, There are a lot of things from BoJack Horseman that I would like to discuss and hopefully I find the time to write about them. The show is good, I highly recommend it!

[xsoulxsilencex]

I was thinking for a while how I should handle my (critical) thoughts on ep 95 on tumblr. And I decided that I will use the tags and simply hide my explanation under "keep reading" so you can choose to continue reading or stop already. Maybe some will end up agreeing with me, others might disagree and think "man, you missed the point/you don't get it" - which is fine.

So what to say about ep 95? Firstly, my opinion hasn't changed after watching it with subs: I didn't cry, I wasn't even really sad which might be weird considering I do like Nishaw and the Velgearians. (and I have cried for or was at least feeling a bit emotional about other death scenes, even in ygo so it's not like I'm just not caring enough or even cold-hearted)

But Idk... them dying didn't affect me and it might be because the "wrong" people were there to see it happen. I know this sounds mean but Asaka and Tazaki over Yudias (and the twins)? Really? And before someone says "well duh, he's not supposed to know so ofc we get nothing of him in that regard" - well, I don't like. I had a feeling from the spoiler summary that they would go down the "we don't want to upset Yudias so lets keep quiet about his comrades dying, we mean well" road and I still can't vibe with that, no matter how good the intention behind it is.

So on one hand, Tazaki can understand the Velgearians' feelings but he also knows that Yudias should know what's going on. And at first he made me believe that he would go back to UTS and tell him the truth - but no, he changes his mind and asks Asaka if she can give him some of her employees to act as the Velgearians for a while which is a pretty meh plan imo.

Asaka's reaction to this is basically mine:

Ngl, for a while, I thought Asaka would stay with her opinion that keeping everything a secret is a bad idea since that's not changing reality and the grief would just be postponed - and I agree with her. But it's not like she's uncaring since you see in her change of expression that it pains her too what's happening but it is how it is.

And then I thought Tazaki might change his opinion even if he still has this dilemma of trying to respect the Velgearians' last wish and letting Yudias know.

So, did Tazaki end up siding with Asaka? Well, we get no answer yet because Nishaw randomly shows up, looking kinda frozen. Asaka goes into explanation mode and exposes herself as a hypocrite:

At least she knows herself that she's hypocritical.

But still, I'm disappointed. I had wished in her not changing her mind even though deep inside, I had this (bad) feeling she's gonna side with Tazaki eventually and say nothing. Because it was the most predictable outcome no matter if she had lost or won. (*side eye at Luge vs Zaion*)

Also: Asaka freezing Nishaw to prevent him from dying feels like coming out of nowhere imo. And if freezing was really her best idea then why didn't she ever think of asking Luge? You know, the guy who can turn people into ice blocks by letting them see his boring manga? (and he can still freeze people despite being transformed into a massage chair iirc) Did she think he would refuse to help her or immediately tell Yudias and co. about her idea? Ngl, I do wonder if Luge's ice would've been better to prevent the death of the Velgearians than whatever Asaka developed since the former is ice made by alien power so it might be stronger than what humans developed. But I guess I will never get an answer for that...

When the duel ends, Tazaki holds a dead Valvelgear close while Asaka can just look at them with sadness. I know that many people got emotional seeing this and here comes my issue that I mentioned earlier in my post: the "wrong" characters witnessed the deaths. I like Tazaki and I'm overall cool with Asaka but no way this duel didn't happen mainly for some "Asana vs Galient" nostalgia similar to Rovian vs Princess Minstrel being a reminder of Romin vs Princess G. Nobody can tell me it wouldn't have been way more devastating to see the episode ending with Yudias or Yuhi holding Valvelgear with a tear-stained face since those two are the ones with the strongest bond with them. Did Tazaki even have scenes with Valvelgear alone before this episode? I honestly can't remember if yes - which is why I feel like they did that scene of Tazaki wanting to feed Valvelgear like a baby at the beginning of the ep + him using Valvelgear as a duel disk (like Yuhi usually does) to show that they have a bond even though it was pretty stupid to use Valvegear when the Velgearians in it are dying aka are already weakened and so shouldn't have been running around and pushing things just to work as a duel disk.

Nishaw was barely there but considering how sad Yudias and co. already looked when hearing about the Dudi people dying, they would've been sad to see him die too ofc.

The episode ends in Yudias and co. being back to MIK, talking with Phaser about the Rush Robot. And the very last scene is Yuga caught on camera. We likely just got Yuga there because he's gonna be the reason for the Yuna vs Manabu rematch.

I'm probably starting to repeat myself but damn... if the episode had actually ended with Yudias knowing what happened to his comrades and Nishaw (and the next ep would go more into his feelings after hearing that) instead... I kinda doubt that ep 96 will give us much focus on him considering the duel match up we get but I really hope that Yudias and the twins getting the sad news told won't be done off screen or in a quick flashback. Come on, I need to see their shocked faces, their tears and potential screams because no way Yuhi will just silently cry. Heck, he might be so mad (and maybe even feeling useless again after he had promised Valvelgear to save them and failed) that either Yuamu or Yudias must bring him back to his senses. I can see Yuamu either "just" looking sad or crying but not in a loud way.

As for Yudias... I think there are two ways he could take the news: He either starts crying and blaming himself for not noticing that his comrades were already dying and be very down (which Asaka and Tazaki wanted to prevent) - or Yudias cries but surprises everyone by not being completely crushed by the news but is still determined to find a way to save (and now also revive) his people. After all, we just know that the Velgearians in Valvelgear are dead. What's with the Velgearians who are still on Velgear? Are they already dead too or still alive? Is anyone even caring to check on them? And there's Dinois, Myuda and Zwijo too ofc.

Speaking of Zwijo: I dislike how he's always gone and in the middle of an arc, he comes back because the plot needs him. Like why can't we get a glimpse of what he's doing in the meantime? Where is he right now? Did he check on Velgear? Did he have contact with Yuga? Did he find something relevant? Is he maybe already too weak to do anything? Why do we always have to wait for such information until he's the focus again? Is it so hard having a duel between some characters and still show on the side what Zwijo's up to? He's the main rival and a freaking Velgearian! His kind is dying and we don't have a freaking clue how he feels about it and where he even is.

So yeah, those were my thoughts on ep 95. Sorry if they sound mostly negative but I really wished the writers had done some different choices there. But let's see how ep 96 and the rest of arc 8 will be...

[mikuni14]

Bed Friend, Chains of Heart ep 6

Bed Friend Can Uea have a moment of peace? Can he catch a break?? I feel my heart being cut into very thin slices every time I think about him. What a poor boy. Every time he feels a little happiness, even a little hope, someone else feels fucking obliged to remind him that these feelings are beyond his reach. And knowing Uea's history, he may think that these good, positive things.. he may not deserve them 😥 I'm not surprised that he wants to quit, since on the one hand he feels constant pressure from his creepy boss, and on the other hand King is causing him pain. Every time I saw Uea tense up about Krit, I literally felt a flood of pure hatred and loathing. I don't really understand King with his "matching". He is not interested in it, he claims that it doen’t mean anything, that it is "his mom thing", but King never refuses and goes to these meetings. What message does this send to the Uea? That their relationship could end at any time. I'm not surprised that Uea understood it that way and immediately started building walls around himself. He knows he has to protect himself from being hurt, from opening up too much to King. Because King, despite how much I like him and for generally being the perfect type of boyfriend, he IS questionable becasue of this.

Jade is absolutely the most wonderful friend in the world. His unwavering support for Uea, his perceptiveness to any Uea’s discomfort, his courage when Uea needs to be defended. And him being so cute about it... I love him so much ✨🧁

"Do we have to be a good guy, so that they won't leave us?" 🥺

The show is still great, despite breaking my heart.

Chains of Heart Me watching ep 1-4 of CoH: 🤔😏😍🥳🥳🥳 Me watching ep 5-6 of CoH: 😑🤔🤔🤔🙄😑 *tired Ben Affleck meme*

I feel like the series has lost its way. It's always been exaggerated, which didn't bother me at all, but now it's comically exaggerated. Ken's absolute devotion to Din was touching, now his shrine devoted to Din in the hotel room is just funny. In earlier episodes, I liked how Ken was faithful to Din, but we could see Lue messing with his mind as well. It was very interesting, their scenes together were very exciting - and there were more and more of them with each ne ep. But from episode 5 we could see that Ken is back to being completely engrossed in Din, he doesn't pay attention to Lue who even confessed his love for him, which is a strange thing plot-wise because the show IS about Ken and Lue, they are promoted together, they are depicted as the main couple.. and suddenly, in the middle of the show, one of them completely cuts off from the other. And it's not even shown as if Ken has any lingering feelings for Lue, no! he treats Lue as "just some guy", one of many who flirted with him. I just don’t get it! Also, their scenes together are limited, there are even fewer of them now and they don’t affect their relationship at all (even the confession). In this episode, more time is given to the second couple, which is already established anyway and doesn’t add anything to the story.

Opening scene - I wonder if there were any other people like me who panicked, that the player started playing the episode somewhere from the middle or end instead of the beginning and they frantically turned it off to avoid spoilers, checked that this is actually the beginning episode, then checked if missed something, if there was a special episode or something, and then started watching again in a sense of utter bewilderment 😃😭 The dream scene was very beautiful, shock and awe on Lue's face, Ken's softness, his devotion, even their hair is not styled, they are both very natural and lovely. I'm so looking forward to their sexy scenes together.

The trailer hints that MAYBE the next episode will bring back the dynamic between Ken and Lue, the one that made me obsessively like this series 😉

After their scene on the bridge, I'm starting to think that if Lue is Din, then Lue was never going to admit it to Ken. That it's a joint operation of Din with this doctor and his wife: face change, new identity, now they've dumped someone else's body to finally close this chapter, declare Din dead, so that Din as Lue can get his revenge and get Ken back in the process. It seems to me that Ken's stubbornness in his feelings for Din will be what eventually forces Lue to admit who he is. Lue was very desperate in that scene about Din being dead and Ken giving him a chance. And devastated by Ken's stubbornness. If Lue is Din, hehe 😎

Half-naked Lue covered in scars, overwhelmed with emotion, oh my.. what a sight.. And I'll never get tired of how Lue can't take his eyes off Ken.

Visually, this series is really something else, like I really liked this shot for example:

[thequeervampiric]

Oops, almost forgot about the babies lol! I think we can say for certain Elliot wouldn't normally care for them, she literally laughed in Silas' face when he wondered if she ever wanted motherhood for herself (and yet earlier she and Bev were being sickos going on about parent 1 & parent 2!!!). The ones she saved where INSIDE Bev, though, so maybe she would view them as something more sacred, but they will also look like Genevieve/her brother. Idk, I think in Elliot's mind when she was fulfilling Bev's dreams along the way, the possible kid would always look like Beverly (thus like Elliot too), and if she were to raise any kid at least it would be alongside her sister.

In ep 5 before the surgery fiasco, things seemed all peachy easy (...the Mantle lie??) despite the disaster that unfolded during their parents visit. How long did you think it was, btw, between the two episodes? I think having Beverly near would make it more bearable for Elliot, but now? It goes back to what you just said, how much of Beverly she's actually absorbed. Realism vs a certain supernatural vibe. I like both possibilities! I bet a ob-gyno career was Bev's idea too back in college, we know Elliot was in it rather for the science and lab fun. I can see her striving to be a good Beverly (for Beverly) and thus treating the kids well on a surface level, but for how long? The show was clear all of this was strictly Beverly's dream/fantasy, and Elliot would be her ride-or-die gal but only for Bev's sake, it was never her goal. In the post credit scene she was placid in Genevieve's arms, but that's it, I can't imagine her for example loving Genevieve. I actually don't think Elliot is queer? The show wasn't clear on that, but when she wasn't ~hunting mates for her sister, she always chose men for herself.

It was either Rachel or Alice Birch that said that were it for Elliot, she would have been content to do this indefinitely, she had no qualms about getting her momentary pleasure outside, be it a random men or drugs or booze, but then just be with Beverly, for she was beyond happy with what they had. No wonder she felt so abandoned her soulmate changed what had been their normal for so long. I thought it was interesting how, despite their personalities and outward characteristics, Elliot wasn't truly the dominant twin in their dynamic. When she curled like a doggie in front of Beverly's closed bedroom door in episode 4 I had to bite my fist hahaha it was adorably pathetic. Glad I can vent about this with you hah I fear I have a smidge of an obsession now, I like open endings normally but I still have many questions regarding these two Very Normal women.

they're sooooo fucked up I love them

and yeah, I think them being Beverly's babies - possibly one of the only Real remnants of her Ellie might feel like she has - would change things

it's been a while since I've watched the series, but if I'm right about what episodes you're talking about...I'd say maybe 3 months between? god, Elliot was wrecked.

the way that they couldn't bear to be without each other, but also that it could never go on forever >>>>>

also sorry it took so long to respond, I forgot about this ask, then lost internet, then lost internet again, then forgot again, etc

[sepyana]

Jjba Stardust Crusaders Ep. 34-39 Thoughts

Under the cut

Ep. 34-35 (D'Arby)

These episodes were pretty solid! Good setup and pay-offs.

The opening scene is so funny to me, they are all synced... wow

D'Arby is entertaining, his Japanese VA really does a lot ot he work, despite the dodgy English. I'd say his stand ability is a bit too obvious, taking people's soulds by gambling. I feel like something more interesting could have been done but it's fine as is, the stand's design makes up for it.

Also, this episode implies people in JJBA have souls? I'm saying implied because it's a real possibility that those are not actual souls, just a part of stands ability.

I love how fucking pissed Advol is this episode. I can't blame him.

I initially thought this was gonna be a Joseph episode since he is a natural gambler. I did like the direction they took. It's showing us that even someone like Joseph can't out cheat D'arby, getting rid of that as an option.

It's a bit weird that Joseph doesn't use hamon to keep the drink from spilling. Hamon would make too much noise, I guess?

The confortation between D'Arby and Jotaro was the best part, I think. It's entirely non-combat but the show utilizes a lot of the tactics it uses for fight scenes. With the lines and the colors and the music.

Jotaro is secretly the funniest character in part 3 and nothing will change my mind. He has Star Platinum bring him a drink and light his cig while betting his and his friends' souls. He could have done all these thing without being so extra about it.

D'Arby fucked up by letting Jotaro bet people's souls with a contract. I sure he thought there is no way he would go for it. He doesn't even flinch when betting Kakyoin's soul which is so funny to me. If the group is going down I'm taking him with us too. He doesn't get a pass just because he is away in the hospital.

Then he bets his own mother's soul. I was sort of expecting that to happen since if he dies, Holly will die too anyway.

I think he should have bet Iggy's soul too while D'Arby was panicking just to get the point across lol

Yeah these episodes were fun. The mechanics around the contracts gets a bit confusing if you think about it but who cares.

Ep. 36-37

I did say before that I would kill to see Hol Horse and DIO interact and guess what?? It was so worth it. I liked this way more than the DIO scenes before.

Otherwise? I struggle to find anything to talk about. I feel like this was just here just because of the set up from earlier, in the Justice episode. It would be worse if they never acknowledged Hol Horse at all.

My question is that, Is the scene with DIO earlier the reason Hol Horse's watch is wrong? I already know DIO's power is stopping time cuz everyone who has heard of JoJo knows. Let's be real. It doesn't make that much sense when I think about it but I assumed that was what they intended while watching.

Ep. 38-39 (Pet Shop)

I was really mixed on it initially but I think I like it a lot now. A fight scene between a superpowered bird and a dog have no right to be this well done.

The most notable thing I don't like about it is a personal preference. I don't like when animals in a show are anthropomorphized. Because part of the fun of an animal companion is that they don't think like us. The most amount of it I don't mind is Missile from Ghost Trick, as an example. Even the way he is drawn now anthropomorphizes him.

I did love the fight scenes. I love that whenever Iggy thinks he has escaped he gets found again.

The shows stops in it's tracks sometimes to tell us how COOL and FEROCIOUS hawks are, just really hyping up Pet Shop.

Speaking of Pet Shop, I really like him. I've found the Engrish names in JJBA charming, It gives a completely different vibe to those who know English compared to Japanese people who do not. It's not intended but it is either really funny or really bold. Pet Shop's name shows that well.

His design is strangely cute. Intimidating but also cute :) It's funny to think how DIO recruited him. Did DIO gave that outfit to him??

When Iggy started having flashbacks I thought "Holy shit is he gonna actually die??" You know how jjba is, if we learn a character's backstory it means death for them. The show knows this. It waits for the last possible second to save him, to make you think he was gonna die for real.

It was really sad seeing Iggy struggle to walk. I said I don't like tiny dogs but what I dislike even more is how much jjba loves torturing dogs.

So, Kakyoin is back. With sick shades too. I don't know why he has them, maybe his eyes are sensitive to light after treatment? They are a bit extra, sure, but they also fit his character really well for some reason. I appreciate this costume change and that he has scars left from the incident.

I love that everyone rushes towards him, sort of hugging and and then Jotaro is just like 😐. I know he is emo but he could at least pretend to be a bit more excited.

The translator of the manga I was reading even left a little note on top going "MY BRO MY BRO IS BACK".

They have found DIO's hideout so... we are reaching the end. I am excited but also a little bit scared.

People wouldn't be praising this part ao much if it had a horrible ending, so I'm not really worried about it being bad, at least.

Praying for my lads to make it out alive lol

I will try to watch the last 9 episodes as soon as possible.