#sorry for venting but i need to 😔
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i want to quit my job bc of mental health reasons but then my mental health will get worse if i don't have a job
#also the fact that i get back to work tomorrow after truly having the worst week of my life!#this sucks about being an adult like you can be dying and you're expected to work the next day dvajehajshhe#also i wish they'd just fire me so i wouldn't have to make the decision myself but i know they won't#bc they just offered me a new position but i truly can't keep up i really can't#i just feel like a need a fresh start#sorry for venting but i need to 😔#airam talks
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You know what really sucks?? When you’re really excited for something and then someone goes and makes unnecessary comments about it which taints your fun.
I’m so excited for this coming update and then someone has to say something that just…leaves a bad taste in my mouth??
I get having favorites and all that, me too. I am not any different.
But why ruin it for others??
Why be a sourpuss about it??
Just because you don’t like certain things or how the update went?? Because it didn’t meet your expectations??
Literally this update means so much to me and others and you have to what??
Be a jerk about it??? Because you can?? And ruin the fun??
It’s so dumb.
And unfortunately for them, I’m not one to back down.
Commentary like that just makes me more determined and makes me want to hype it up even more.
#Hana rambles#sorry for the negativity on your timelines I just needed to vent after reading what I did#the fact this happened to me twice now with two different people#once was after part 6 update last year in jp and now before the update in en#it’s like part 6 personally hurt them or something becuase it didn’t meet their expectations and now they have to ruin it for others#I hate when people try to bring others down#there’s a difference between being critical and being downer#I get complaining and wanting things and all that#as a dia fan i *know*#but I also don’t put it in the tags 🤦♀️🤦♀️#what’s worse is I follow this person and I know I should block…maybe I will#for now I’m going to filter them#then decide later#I just feel bad about it that’s why argh#considering who their favorite character is#he would be so disappointed#ironically they both like the same character and he would not be happy let me tell you that#I already blocked one person and debating on the second#sighs i hate this 😭😔#Hana delete later tag
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Andrew being called "Drew" makes my eye twitch... and I don't know why.
#especially when i read it in fics#i'll never tell someone not to have a fan theory#but this one is just... idk why i'm annoyed by it#there are bigger fan theories that should (and do) annoy me more#but i am so hyper focused on this one for some reason#i won't tag this#i just needed to vent#i'm sorry 😔#and i know i've shared my displeasure with this fan theory before#but i read the tweet about the author saying she saw it#so... yeah
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life has been insane i just cried infront of my violin teacher 😔
#⠀౨ৎ⠀𝓶arie's 𝓻ambles⠀.#please let me quit violin#i keep on playing wrong notes out of tune 😭#THERES A RECITAL BUT I DONT HAVE TIMETO PRACTICE#like how??? my school ends at 4:30 and sometimes I have tuition afterwards#plus a shitton of work 😔#violin is fun but I just feel like I don't have the time for hobbies anymore#I do admit that it's also my fault though bc I should have practiced ☠️#sorry for venting I just need to let this out somewhere :(
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TERFS DO NOT EVER INTERACT WITH ME LIKE OR REBLOG MY POSTS!!! BLOCK ME!!! THIS IS NOT A SAFE PLACE AND I WISH EACH ONE OF YOU WOULD FALL DOWN A STEEP FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND BREAK YOUR NECK!!!
#KYS#sorry i just saw something horrible 😔 need to make sure everyone knows how badly i wish terfs would spontaneously combust#like the industrial grade garbage they are#vent
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mentally i am doing the family guy death pose rn
#why am i always in pain whyyyyy why can't i get a break 😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's too intense to let me sleep properly either 😭 dude if i need to heal from smth i need sleep!!!! let me sleeppppppp#i think i took too many painkillers lately (bc it was really constantly unbearable) bc they don't really help atp 💔💔💔💔 rip#idek which part of me is causing this rn. it keeps moving around too. always my lower stomach tho rip#and no other symptom either 💔 so it's nothing serious enough to justify calling a doctor in a holiday or smth.#vent#sorry 😔 it's just. nonstop
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sharks are fish. i can draw sharks.
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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usually i feel okay about my writing but then i remember that almost nobody reads it, including almost all of my friends and my partner. and then i have to remind myself that im not writing for anyone but me, so it doesn't matter if it's not read. but man does it hurt to see people gush about each other's art and im just over here like. my "art" isn't in a visual medium that's easily digestible (it takes longer to read than to take in a drawing), and therefore it will never receive the kind of engagement that other art does. and it just really really really hurts sometimes. AUGH.
#usually im fine with this but sometimes.....sometimes it gets to me 😔#especially when people (friends/partner) *do* read fics but just specifically not mine.#it makes me feel like im lacking that inherent spark that interests people. or that my fics are too shallow.#but then again#i *have* written an in-deph fic before that had darker topics and actual plot#but that recieved very little attention from said people too#so i think its just Me. and My Writing.#idk where im going with this um.#i just needed somewhere to vent for a sec ig#anyways to the 1 friend who almost always reads my fics. tysm; seriously 🫂#i dont think id still be writing without you there to encourage me#okay vent over sorry 💕
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maybe my fav coping mechanism is rewatching my favorite Stan angst edits 10,000 times
#i've spent the whole summer like this#that one with the song Stressed Out repeats too much in my head 😔#sorry for the weird vent guys I just needed it#today was a shitty day and I haven't even processed it yet#sometimes feeling emotions is hard#maybe i should draw or write a one-shot for this but i'm too lazy rn#yk it's bad when my brain is fixated on Stan more than in Craig#deleting this later#or not idk#stan marsh#me core
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everytime someone calls diluc boring an angel loses their wings
#hyv please bring diluc back and make him do stuff again but dont force kaeya lore in it this time please.#its so hard to be a diluc stan this day and age who still thinks hes cool. 😔#second story quest. a three part event wheres hes the main character. anything. even just a cameo in fontaine#its so difficult when people havent read his character stories in 3+ years.#sorry. i had a bad time with an assignment and need to vent via my blorbo.#step right up! || 🪄.txt
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today worst day ever 🥹🥹 so glad to be home
#god forbid. a person ik owes me money and im lowkey getting annoyed bc i feel she has it but wont give it to me 😞 i paid for sm of her food#and i felt like she kept interrupting my convos w ppl!! i need her to get off my back#like i dont understand why she asks me to go outside to get food?? if she doesnt order??? like ik i have a complicated money process and its#annoying af IM SORRYYY IM INCONVENIENT!!!! but also man. the app was down at an inconvenient time for two days#and i couldnt pay thru gcash 😞😞#so i 1) went out for NOTHING and 2) just felt so sad idk like ;((#when i came back i was just sad. like idk i felt ashamed to ask for money bc im so annoying or smth#some of my other band mates asked if i str and i just started to PISS MY EYES LIKE IM SORRY!!!!!#idk i feel like i just release stress out in bursts like that like why cant i express these things normally#like i have a past gripe bc i used to be so sensitive as a kid i wojld cry and ppl would just give me things#and like. idk. i dont want to come off as that like im not crying for attention you asked me How are uou Doing and the doing came out thru#pissing my eyes out. idk what else to say fellas#i got issues 😞 but im so grateful there were ppl looking out for me when i was feeling annoying and was broody#i feel like a lot of ppl ive met havent been able to handle that v well and its like oh man that explains why i try#not to cry in the first place!! hahaha okay!!!#but like yeah man. idk i am miffed w this girl bc like. it just always feels like she tries to ctrl what or who i talk to#i cant wait to not be classmates w her 😔#caw.txt#vent
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i go FERAL ABOUT THIS BC I DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER I WOULD HAVE TO CHECK THAT THE ANDROID PHONE I GOT WOULD HAVE A PLUG FOR WIRED EARBUDS BUT I DIDNT CHECK AND IT DOESNT HAVE ONE ANd honestly i am devastated
i have wireless earbuds i use with my phone now bc that is the only option but Big agree im great at losing small items and forgetting to charge stuff and even when i do remember to charge them i cant like,,, use them while theyre charging lmao and this makes me Especially So Fucking Mad bcccc it is hell to hear certain noises my brain Hates it and it's very distressing and wired earbuds are the One Thing that help the most bc otherwise im plugging my ears so hard i get blisters and/or bleed and earplugs help to muffle but dont Block All Sound so sometimes i just Really Need, For My Health, to listen to white noise or rain or a random song that is ok to listen to bc i need to be able to cope with auditory sensory shit to function in society lmao
im soooo sad that i cant use wired earbuds with my phone 😔 i guess i could get an adapter wire thing for the usbc plug but that is another thing to risk losing And i wouldnt be able to charge my phone at the same time then
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wireless are just Worse to me specifically in every way And more expensive and now i Cant use the other option like fjajfjsjrje why would any smartphone not have a plug for earbuds whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Why do you need your earbuds to have a wire so badly?
I am assuming this is about a post I reblogged like six months ago when I went off on forced technological enshitification and the slow erosion of consumer options. But sure, I'll bite.
Why do I "need" my earbuds to have a wire? I dunno, Anon, maybe I:
Don't want to have to worry about recharging my earbuds.
Don't want my earbuds to be even easier to lose.
Don't want my earbuds to need separate accessories that are as easy to lose as the earbuds.
Prefer to have bluetooth turned off on my devices for security and safety reasons.
Like being able to seamlessly plug my earbuds into my computer, my MP3 player, or any other device with a headphone jack.
Don't want to spend 50 dollars on decent wireless earbuds when I can do all the above things with a pair of solid earbuds that cost me like $12 during the Obama administration.
Don't care about what kinds of headphones or earbuds people wear but don't like what it says about our society when other people apparently care what kind of earbuds I'm wearing so much they have send an Anonymous ask to interrogate me about it.
And I guess, more abstractly, because fuck Apple. That's why.
#sorry to vent sm on your post OP#im so mad about this like fjsndjjakdkqkes i finally started to feel Confident enough to let myself use earbuds sometimes instead of Bad#Coping Mechanisms bc i didnt want to look rude and i dont want to overshare too much but it was bad for me#and earbuds being an option is much better#so it sucks i just started to accept and use this option and when my phone broke i was excited about the new one#and now the earbud problem is a lot more difficult 😔 it also helps being in less stressful circumstances like the sensory stuff doesnt get#overwhelming as often But When It Does it is just very nice to have earbuds as a reliable option#and easier to buy like 3 cheap pairs in case they get misplaced or one breaks with bad timing#i think the orange foamy earplugs would be one of my drops if i was an enemy in an rpg#i like to keep a lot of those for when i need to hear some but at a Much Lower Volume Bls fkakdkakd idl why stuff feels So Loud sometimes
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i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,
#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better#and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really 😐#(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think)#but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day#despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time 😔#+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level#again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know#and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am#other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends 😭#and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more#(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count)#(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum)#(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use)#(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years)#this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end 👍#vent#negative //#ask to tag#sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months#(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^)#edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere#i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers#and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too#but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little#i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered 😐😐😐 and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that
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i’m tired of jobs ghosting me at the velocity of that of which tinder dates ghost me
“you’ll hear back from us by the end of the week either way”
okay? it’s the end of the week? where are you??
#like i did not take time out of my day to go to an interview for you not to get back to me AT ALL#this shit is getting so fucking annoying#that and calling places asking if they’re hiring and getting the age old ‘uhhh we’re always accepting applications’#FUCK OFFFFFF#i’m so tired#i just need some fucking routine in my life again#vent post#sorry chat 😔
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Grrr its so. Annoying getting mad at things that I KNOW have 0 logic behind them, but my brain still gets all like😡 over it,, like. It's SO dumb but I've managed to convince myself somehow that like, all my friends hate me. Why you may ask ? All because they played a game I recommend without me. It's. So dumb. Especially bc 1)I can rationalize the reasons they might have done it and 2) it DOESNT MATTER AT ALL but for some reason my brain is telling me wowwwww they all hate you :/ stop talking to them all you do is annoy them :/ sighs. And like now whenever they talk about the game/send clips of them playing it I get. Unreasonably mad its so dumb. Being mentally ill is soo fun!! (So much sarcasm.)
#sorry for more venting on main sighs. ignore me#😔😔#also not to mention like. i WANNA play the game with them but#now that my brain's mad about it. if they offer ill prob say no bc my head will be like#“errem why are they saying it NOW?? Whats the catch?!?!?!?”#god i need a lobotomy. or to start going to therapy again. either or tbh/j
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