#sorry for the like 2 months of inactivity lol

[dc-polls-not-the-og]

Why Raven and Zatanna: they both are powerful magic users, also I like how Raven is a crow and Zatanna a white pidgeon

Why Impulse and Booster: they both are from the future (not same time period), it would be funny to see them talking about futuristic stuff

Why Beast Boy and Animal Man: they both have relation with the Red and are activists for animal rights

Why Mad Hatter and Red Alice: they are Alice in Wonderland themed, and for what I know they've never interacted

Why Music Maister and Riddler: theater kids and drama queens

[eberine]

angy wolf pearlo >:( i think she wanna kill /silly

SINCE YOU GUYS LOVE WOLF PEARL SM…i’ve got more to feed!!! if you use this PLEASE credit me. (the tail wag isn’t the smoothest lol ill probably remake it months later) RBS VERY APPRECIATED!! thanks for the support on my last 2 hermitposts

so sorry for the slight inactivity guys i have been spending time minecrafting and i may start streaming on twitch again!! (username: eberine) if you like the stuff i do be sure to support me <3 /nf

[whalyrae]

THE OLD GUARD - CHAPTER 4

"We don’t get a say on how it ends, we never have. But we can control how we live."

Summary : You are a powerful witch, cursed and hurt through ages. Owner of your esoteric shop, you were resigned to live this lonely life when the powerful magic of soulmates and fate came to you.

Pairing : poly BTS x reader (she/her)

Genre : soulmate au, demons bts au, witch y/n au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, polyamory relationships

Status : In process

Word Count : 5k

Warnings : eventual smut, angst, mention of depression, death, suicide, past trauma, violence, blood, past (sexual) abuse, past torture, PTSD, scars, self harm, and more.

Tag list : @blackrockshooter780 @babyymeme @starrlo0ver @suckerforv @mushroom-main @m1sss1mp @prettydancingdamzel @i-have-no-life-charlie @avadakadabra93 @veronawrites @kawaiikpoplover268 @didi-9310 @ghostlyworld @carolinexkpop @gooooomz @00ihatesnaku

A/N : After months of struggling with life, health, mental health issues... I can FINALLY POST AGAIN !! This chapter was really hard to write (I cried a little at the end ngl :D), I have constant writer block, constant impostor syndrome... I have the perfectionnism trait but in a toxic way really TT.TT Don't hesitate to like and reblog !! Also don't be afraid to leave a little comment or if you have any questions, here or in anon in my inbox !! they are really really welcomed, I love reading all your impressions and thoughts !!

Also thank you so much !! I was inactive for a very long time and I still got daily alerts with people who liked/kudos the chapters and the story :(( I can't express (yeah i'm an author and i can't express through words LOL) how much i'm grateful :(( ♥♥

ps : ah and sorry if there is any mistakes or anything it's almost 2:30am when I post this and I had an really emotionnal day fgkfdhlfk LOVE YALL MUAH ♥

Playlist link : The Old Guard Playlist

Masterlist | ao3 | wattpad

Chapter 3 // Chapter 5

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

She was wondering whether it would be better to ask Handong to stay with her. She had assured her that she would handle the situation and that Handong could go home. She knew that Gahyeon would need her at their coffee shop. 

However, now that she was in the living room of the seven boys, her soulmates’, after bringing one of them in an utterly unconscious state for a reason as unknown to them as it was to her, she was starting to regret this decision.

She couldn't understand what had happened with Jin the moment their eyes met. She couldn't say anything, the words were stuck in her throat as they stared at each other without a word. He parted his lips as if he wanted to say something, but just like her, nothing came out. 

He'd known she was his soul mate, of course he could feel it. Just like her. But had he recognized her? Did he know that the two of them were the firsts of their soulmate bond to meet, long before any of the other six were born? She couldn't be sure and didn't have time to find out. 

She had seen his features contort in pain, and without a word, he had collapsed. Luckily, Handong, who had seen them, was able to catch him in time, preventing him from falling to the ground and potentially injuring himself. 

Thanks to a spell that increased her strength tenfold, she could carry him without Handong’s help and any difficulty to the place where he lived with his mates. But she couldn't stop herself from hurrying, worried sick about him.

And that's where she is now. Jungkook helped her carry Jin to the living room, laying him on the sofa. While Yoongi woke up Taehyung and Namjoon. Jimin and Hoseok hurried to get a damp cloth on Jin's forehead. 

Namjoon and Taehyung stormed into the room, not hiding their surprise at seeing her there in total panic. 

However, they didn't ask any questions. Yoongi probably had to explain to them what happened and what was going on. 

She was standing in front of the sofa where Jin was lying, staring at the unconscious demon, his features distorted by pain. The sight of him was enough to make her stomach twist with soreness. 

"Hey, Noona..." Jimin's soft voice startled her. He was standing next to her, a comforting smile on his lips, "Everything’s going to be fine, don't worry..."

She didn't even know what to say. She didn't dare to look him in the eye, or any of the other boys. The guilt she'd been carrying around with her all these centuries was only getting stronger. 

She could hear voices behind her, probably the boys talking amongst themselves, or maybe they were trying to talk to her. She didn't know. Nothing around her was clear and precise. Her vision was blurring, her heart rate had been racing for a while and she was getting worse. 

She gasped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned round abruptly, facing Namjoon. The other boys were behind him, except for Yoongi who was next to Jin. 

"Hey," he greeted her with a gentle smile, "don't worry, everything's going to be fine,” he repeated Jimin’s words, “You're having a panic attack, I'm gonna help you, okay? Look at me."

His voice was soft and reassuring, it had a calming effect on her. His presence and warmth invaded her whole being, despite the anxiety attack she was having. 

She raised her eyes to meet him. Slowly, he tells her to take long, deep breaths. The first time, she breathed in and breathed out. Then a second time. And a third. 

Finally, her breathing returned to normal and her heart rate calmed. Seeing this, Namjoon gave her another smile, his fingers caressing her shoulder to calm her down. 

She had the strange impression that Namjoon probably possessed some kind of power capable of influencing the emotions, feelings, or even bodily reactions of the people he touched. Or maybe it was just the soulmate effect. 

"Feeling better?" 

"Yes... Thank you..." She replied with a small smile, seeing Hoseok approach her with a glass of water. "Thanks… and sorry, I wish we'd met under different circumstances..."

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm enchanted to meet you." 

Hoseok gave her a big, bright smile, which he succeeded in communicating to her. 

"I guess you guys have questions... and why did I show up with Jin in this state..."

She turned her attention to Jin. A wave of emotion suddenly washed over her as she realized that yes, he was there, in the same room as her. Her soul mate, the first to cross her way, the one she'd lost so suddenly and brutally centuries ago. A mixture of joy, sadness, guilt, and apprehension. 

"Do you know what's going on with him? And why is he in this condition?" Hoseok asked curiously, taking back the glass she'd just drunk in one long sip.

She bit her lower lip nervously. She had to tell them. Jin was their soulmate, just like he was hers.

But where to start?

"Come on, settle down here."

Yoongi straightened up to install her on the sofa, right next to Jin still unconscious. He'd then sat down next to her, while the others had taken seats in front of her, Namjoon and Hoseok on the low table, the maknae on the floor, clinging to each other.

The sight made her smile gently. But quickly the smile disappeared, replaced by apprehension. The words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. She knew that the moment had come, that once she'd told them everything, they'd hate her, reject her, and she’d lose the people she'd waited for all her life. 

"Noona... I can smell your fear all the way up here..." murmured Jimin, her eyes landing on him with surprise, "I'm an empath, by the way..." he explained with a shrug. 

"You don't have to be an empath to sense the fear radiating from her." chuckled Taehyung, teasing his companion who gave him a nudge on the shoulder, "Oops, sorry sweetie." 

"I know that from the moment you will know the whole story, you'll never want to hear from me again and I... argh that's the last thing I want," she admitted with a sad smile. The events of the last few days had paralyzed and overwhelmed her in some ways when it came to making the right decisions, and she was extremely upset with herself about this.  

"But I think I need to stop being scared, and selfish like I have been."

"We could never hate you," Hoseok said firmly, the others all giving signs of approval, "no matter what you've done." 

"Tell us all the horrible things you ever did, and let us love you anyway."

She recognized Namjoon's words. And she wasn’t surprised that he could quote Edgard Allan Poe, considering the circumstances of their first meeting. 

She couldn't deny that his words made her feel a tinge of comfort, because he was sincere, and every one of the other boys thought so. 

But they didn't know the whole story yet, so the chances of them thinking differently once they knew the whole truth were pretty high. 

"Where to start..." she took a long breath, "Jin... I met him before I even knew I was immortal. That was... uh... it seems like an eternity now, at the beginning of the 15th century."

She expected the exclamations of surprise that followed. 

"Wait... you mean you and Jin hyung..." Jungkook fell silent to think. 

"Why didn't he ever tell us about you then? And why have we never met you before ?” asked Yoongi skeptically, "You're our soulmate, his soulmate, how could he..."

"It's more complicated than it sounds..." she sighed, scratching the back of her head nervously. "I always knew I was a witch, my mother was a witch herself. I lived in a village in France during the period when the witch hunts began. It was also during this period that the Malleus Maleficarum was written." 

"I know this book," Hoseok sighed loudly as he shook his head, visibly annoyed, "this pile of garbage written in the late 15th century, which supposedly explains what a witch is, how to recognize one, interrogate them, and kill them."

"A load of bullshit yeah," Namjoon added with a chuckle, "I rarely waste my time reading books, but this one..."

"Tell me more !" Jimin exclaimed, "I read it too, well, not all of it, it's so... misogynistic and sexist!" 

"I... was one of the witches who had to go through all the torture and experimentation to write this... book or whatever it is. And most of the women who suffered all that crap were just ordinary mortals," she admitted with a little restraint. 

Horrified exclamations were heard from the maknaes and Hoseok. Yoongi and Namjoon closed their eyes for a few seconds, repressing the anger rising within them. 

Talking about these events did not leave her indifferent; these memories were among the worst she had ever known, and she still sometimes had nightmares about them. 

She remained silent for a few moments, before finally speaking up.

"That's not the point. Jin is the point. When I met him, he was a merchant passing through the village." A small smile appeared mechanically as she recalled this memory, "It was love at first sight. Of course, it was. He knew I was his soul mate, but I... I didn't even know what a soulmate was. He taught me. He taught me so many things..."

She turned her head towards Jin, still unconscious beside her. Oh, how she'd missed him. He hadn't changed a bit. 

"I immediately sensed that he wasn't human, just as he'd guessed that I was a witch. So much better in a way, it made things easier."

Delicately, she let her fingers stroke his forehead, brushing aside a few strands of hair, a tender smile on her face.

"He stayed in the village after that. I had taken over the bakery from my parents who had passed away from an illness a few months before I met him. We weren't the richest, but we were happy.”

The other boys couldn't contain the grins on their faces. Of course, this story was beautiful and worthy of a fairy tale. But they all knew that fairy tales were only fantasy stories. The reality was not nearly as lovely. 

"We lived... two years like that before everything went to hell."

She felt her hands tremble as she recalled what she was about to say.

Jimin sensed her nervousness, fear, and sadness. He left Taehyung and Jungkook's embrace to kneel before her, gently taking her hands in his for comfort.

Her gaze met his, and he offered her a gentle, reassuring smile. But she couldn't relax.

"The witch-hunt had begun and was becoming increasingly virulent and violent. The villagers had always thought it was strange that I hadn't suffered the same illness as my parents. I knew the rumors about Jin and I. But until now, we'd managed to keep a discreet, almost unnoticed presence. Until she came along."

Jimin squeezed her hands a little tighter as he felt her anger rising. 

"That demoness... came to our village, supposedly a cloth merchant. She fell for Jin. Was it love, or just a physical attraction? I don’t know. She succumbed to his devastating charm, like so many others before her." She chuckled, imitated by Yoongi. 

"As you would expect, Jin did nothing but ignore her and rebuff her advances. She didn't appreciate it at all… I learned later that this half-succubus demoness was renowned for finding prey and not letting go until she got what she wanted."

"A real nasty leech..." muttered Jungkook.

She noticed, however, that Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok expressions had changed. They had exchanged glances, seeming to pass a message to each other that she didn't understand. She decided to ignore it for the moment.

"Things got worse after she arrived, after Jin's rejection." She took a long breath. "She's the one who delivered me to the villagers, who exposed me. When we realized her plan, that she was planning to take Jin with her by force, by any means necessary, we wanted to run away. We'd go to Asia, or America, or wherever, to another continent, away from her, away from all of this. But that demoness had planned everything… We were young, unaware, and inexperienced, unlike her. I was barely 25, and he was 23... we just wanted to..."

She paused to calm herself, her heartbeat quickening again. Fortunately, Jimin was able to calm her, just by being here, his soft hands on hers, and she was grateful for that. She thanked him with a small smile, which he returned by stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. How could a demon be so angelic? 

"She specialized in memory magic..."

"Oh, I'm getting the hang of it..." muttered Namjoon, clenching his jaw.

"That bitch…" added Yoongi, making her huff.

"The villagers arrived in the middle of the night. We didn't see it coming. The demoness took advantage of this moment to attack Jin and cast a spell to erase me from his memory. The last time I saw Jin was before they put a bag over my head when he was unconscious in her arms." 

She lowered her head, and it was only when she felt Jimin's soft hand on her cheek that she noticed a tear had rolled down. 

She knew what the demoness had done, she knew that she'd erased Jin's memory, simply because she'd come to see her a few days later in the cell where she was being held captive. She explained everything, adding that she had offered to give her over to the Catholic order of Dominicans who wrote the Malleus Maleficarum. Which happened, the day after she came.

"When I finally escaped... After several months," she continued anyway, her voice trembling, "I looked for him, I... crossed France from top to bottom, and Europe... I looked for him everywhere, for many years... I never found him... until now..." 

Jimin's hands gripped hers a little tighter. She looked up at him, then at Yoongi, who had moved a little closer to her. Their shoulders were touching, his way of showing her some comfort. 

"So that's what happened..." muttered Namjoon, who had straightened up, his eyebrows furrowed, looking thoughtful.

"I hate humans..." blurted Jungkook as he hugged Taehyung tightly, his companion nodding in agreement. 

"And so, you thought we'd hate you, or I don't know what other nonsense might go through your little head when we know the truth?" Yoongi asked, holding back a laugh. “I don’t see why. I mean. It’s genuine, really.”

She arched her eyebrows in confusion. She thought that it seemed logical. She hadn't been able to protect Jin, she’d left him in the clutches of this demoness who'd probably done a thousand and one things to him that she didn't even want to think about. She hated herself for it.

"Hyung." Hoseok sighed, shaking his head, "stop."

"I failed to protect him, he's my soulmate and... I abandoned him and..."

"You didn't do any of that, Y/N."

Namjoon approached her. He took Jimin’s place and knelt down facing her, placing his hands on hers. 

"You're both the victims. You've met someone stronger, older, more experienced than you and she took advantage of it. You did everything you could. You did your best. You could never be blamed for that. We could never blame you for that. ."

"And Jin hyung won't blame you either, I'm sure," Hoseok added with a small smile. "When he will regain his memory, when we will give him back what that demoness stole from him, he'll be the happiest man in the world to have you back with him, with us. Believe me."

She pressed her lips together, not wanting to cry, not yet. 

Yoongi wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer.

"It's over now," he whispered against her hair, "you're not alone anymore, you won't be. We've found you, you've found us." 

She couldn't hold back the few tears that had started to fall. How could she not break down, after all those centuries spent alone, thinking that her soulmates didn't want her, living with the guilt of having abandoned the only soulmate she’d ever known. 

They said the same things as her friends when she told them everything a few days ago.

None of them thought for a second that what happened to Jin and her was her fault. 

That feeling of being understood, of not being judged, of being accepted despite her past mistakes and scars.

That feeling of being in the presence of her soul-mates. 

She hadn't felt so at peace in what seemed like an eternity. Ever since Jin and her were separated.

°°°

"Noona... I have a few questions..."

"Here we go... the kid and his questions. Wait, I'll get you an aspirin and a big glass of water."

Jungkook glared at Yoongi, who had gotten up to go into the kitchen, a sneer on his lips.

Jin still hadn't woken up, but after a simple soothing spell and an herbal ointment she’d carefully placed on his temples, he was calmer, his body more relaxed.

She hadn't wanted to stay, not wanting to risk another attack if Jin woke up again. She learned through Yoongi about the migraine attacks he'd had since the day she met Namjoon. 

But the boys convinced her to stay. Namjoon and Hoseok had disappeared into their library, explaining that they were going to rummage through their books after a potential counter-spell. She wanted to go with them, but they insisted she stay with Jin and rest. 

It didn't take long to realize that Jin's seizures had a direct link with her.

As her soul mate, and despite his forced amnesia, his subconscious knew who she was. But it wasn't strong enough to bring back the memories the demoness had made disappear. Well, they hadn't disappeared, technically; she'd just hidden them very well somewhere in his psyche.

her scent on the clothes of Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook had been the trigger for his subconscious to awaken, for his memories to struggle, to resurface and make Jin realize that yes, he did know her, as his intuition suggested. Yes, the person on the hill was her, yes every memory he thought belonged to someone else was his, and that the blurry person sharing them with him was none other than her.

The migraines, the loss of consciousness... were only signs that his body, mind, and soul were fighting to bring his memories back to where they belonged, to finally give him back what that demoness had stolen from him.

Or at least, that's what she’d come to conclude on hearing Yoongi's explanations.

"Ask me anything Jungkook, don't worry," she replied with a small smile, still sitting next to Jin. 

Yoongi had returned with some drinks (no aspirin, to Junkook's great relief) which he gave to the three maknae, still sitting opposite her, and to her, then sat down on the coffee table. 

"I was wondering, how did you find out that you were... immortal? I mean, what does that actually mean?"

She'd been expecting this question. Even for demons, immortality was still a rather vague concept. Nobody is immortal. Demons and vampires aged slowly, very much more slowly than human beings. But they weren't really immortal. 

"I died for the first time after the Malleus Maleficarum experiments, they sentenced me to be hanged to death, like all the witches at that time." 

She heard the exclamations of surprise from the maknaes. Yoongi remained silent, listening to her attentively. 

"I actually died that day. Except... except a few seconds after I took my last breath, my heart started beating again, and I came back to life."

None of them could believe their ears. Yoongi couldn't hide his surprise either, and she knew that a thousand questions were forming in their heads. 

"The second time was a few days later. At a bonfire." she continued, bowing her head, "The thing is… I feel all the pain, all the way to death. But for some reason, I live again and again. No matter how people try to kill me, no matter how I die, my wounds heal themselves, my organs reform." 

"Is it due to a spell?" finally asked Yoongi with his eyebrows furrowed, "or maybe some kind of witch, a hybrid with a phoenix..."

"I think you're going a bit far, hyung..." Taehyung chuckled slightly. 

"Hey, every proposition can be plausible, gamin."

She couldn't hold back a smile. It was obvious that they'd known each other for several decades now, that they'd been through a lot together. In a way, she was relieved that at least they hadn't had to go through all that alone. 

"I've never known the reason, or why I became like that," she finally continued, scratching the back of her neck, "I just am. Several times I thought I wouldn't get up this time from certain injuries, especially during the wars, but I always got up again. And just like that, more than 600 years have gone by." 

"Maybe it's just that fate didn't want you to die before you met your soul mates, who knows." Yoongi chuckled, shrugging. 

"If you think the universe and destiny are that kind of romantic..." Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"I'm tempted to believe that theory, it's much sweeter and more romantic than a curse put on you..." added Jimin with a little pout. 

"Sometimes things just happen, and they're impossible to explain. Even for creatures like us." she let go with a sigh and an embarrassed smile, "In any case, I've stopped looking and obsessing over it, I've just accepted it."

"Still, it must be painful to die, over and over again..." Jimin cocked his head to the side, feeling a wave of sadness as he thought of all she'd had to go through in her long life. As an empath, his reaction hardly surprised her.

If they knew. She didn't want to dwell on how some humans and even other creatures had taken advantage of her immortality to put her through the many horrors she’d experienced. This wasn't the time to talk about all those things.

“Our pretty soulmate is strong and courageous.” Yoongi finally broke the silence after a few seconds, “She’ll talk about it when she feels ready.” 

She bites her lips. She wanted to tell him to not call her pretty, but she felt that it was destined to fail. Yoongi seemed to be stubborn, maybe a little too much. 

“Do you guys think Joonie and Hobi will find something ?” Asked Jungkook, looking at Jin with worry. 

“For sure they will!” exclaimed Jimin, “Namjoon has books that are centuries old and unique, Hobi and him are the most intelligent demons ever! They’ll find something, surely!”

Jimin was passionate, his trust in his partners was blind and absolute. It was probably the same for all of them, she was sure about it, but Jimin was the one who showed it the most. 

“In the worst case…”

“Taehyung don’t start…” mumbled Jungkook, as the others sighed. 

“Let me finish! In the worst case, if we don’t find anything for Jin hyung, the solution is simple, very simple. We’ll create new memories, so many new happy memories all together!”

“If something was robbed from you without your consent, I think you'd like to have it back. Don't you think so?" Yoongi asked, his voice softened as he ruffled Taehyung’s hair who nodded with a sad pout.

He was just as worried as the others. There were so many unanswered questions, so many theories without explanations, so many problems without solutions yet.

“Namjoon and Hoseok always find a way to resolve problems, you should be used to it now.” 

That voice startled all of them. All five heads turned to the sofa beside Yoongi and her. To everyone's surprise, Jin was staring at them, or rather, at her. 

“Jin you’re awake !”

While the younger hurried towards their eldest, their faces racked with worry and relief, she reflexively stepped back.

She couldn't get very far, as her back bumped into a chest. She turned to face Yoongi, who placed his hands gently on her shoulders. He could read the stress and apprehension on her face. He couldn't imagine what she must be feeling right now, coming face to face with the one she'd lost centuries ago. 

"Where are you going like this?" he asked at first in a slightly teasing tone, before he leaned towards her and whispered, his voice softening, "Relax, everything's fine."

She opened her mouth to reply, but no sound came out. She'd spent her whole life looking for Jin and his other soulmates. Now they were all here. They were all in the same house. Everything still seemed so unreal that she didn’t know how to react or what to do. 

“Y/N ?”

She froze when she heard her name coming from Jin's lips. The others in the room gave him a surprised, confused look.

"Hyung, do you..."

"Remember her? Us? Unfortunately not, I don’t. But I heard you guys talking earlier, I wasn't totally unconscious. Thanks for the herbs, by the way, they really appeased my headache."

Her eyes widened at his words. Had he heard everything? Did he know the whole story, just like his other soulmates? In a way, she didn't know if she could handle a new explanation, which was a bit of a relief. On the other, she was concerned about his reaction, since he was the one who was affected. 

Jin straightened up to sit on the sofa, helped by Jimin. Yoongi was still standing behind her and gave her a gentle nudge, so that she didn't push herself aside. 

Jin's eyes landed on her. For a moment, he said nothing, just looked at her. She could feel the stress twisting her stomach, her legs going limp as cotton. She felt weaker than she had ever felt before. 

"Can you come a little closer, please?" 

Jin's voice was soft; she perceived no anger, no resentment on his side. He had kept his comforting aura, the same one she'd known so long ago, the same one that had reassured her countless times. 

She soon faced him and lowered herself slightly to be at the same height as him. 

How was someone supposed to react to finding their soulmate and youthful amnesiac love, lost in tragic circumstances centuries ago? 

She was torn between tears of joy and relief, but the guilt that consumed her seemed to be the most dominant feeling at the moment. 

"Jin I..."

She pursed her lips. Her voice trembled. For sure her body would betray her right now. 

Jin offered him a tender smile and shook his head. 

"Shht, it's all right." he murmured his words as he gently grasped her hand, "come here."

Without waiting for a response from her, he pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. 

At first, her eyes widened in surprise. Quickly, she couldn't hold back any longer. Her arms followed and she hugged his waist as if her life depended on it. 

"I know what you're thinking," he began, his hand running gently through her hair, "I'm not angry or anything, how could I be? It was never your fault, nor mine." He paused before letting out a small sigh, she could hear all the pain, the sadness in his voice, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry you've had to carry this burden all alone all this time…"

Her whole body was shaking. His voice was shaking, as if he were holding back his own tears. She was fighting inside. She was fighting herself not to break down. But her traitorous body still betrayed her, and she couldn't even control her tears, which had started to flow uncontrollably. 

But his words. His words resonated not only in her heart but in her entire soul. She didn't know how much she needed to hear those words from him until now. 

"We'll find a way, and everything will go back to normal, it will be even better, I promise."

After all these years, these centuries of living with the weight of guilt, the weight of regret, the feeling that she'd never be able to meet her soul mates... she felt all this weight recede, making way for a quietude and lightness like she'd never known before. 

An eternity of torment, torture, and pain was finally over. 

It was as if she'd been deprived of oxygen all her life, until now, as if her breathing had been cut off, and now she was finally getting it back. 

And even though she was currently crying her heart out in Jin's arms, she could also feel Taehyung's warm, reassuring hand on her back, Jimin's, Jungkook's, and Yoongi's presence in the room, Namjoon's and Hoseok's, even if they weren't in the same room with them. 

Her cries were no longer cries of sadness. There was only relief, and it was becoming more of an evacuation from all that time of pain and isolation. 

All those smells, all that warmth that invaded her body at that moment, brought her calm and relief she'd never be able to explain, not even in a day, a year, ten years, or even a hundred years.

The reunion with Jin that day, feeling him against her again, as well as having the presence of her soul mates around them, those who were destined for her. After all this time where her heart and soul had been crying out for help, she had finally been heard. 

The darkness was finally disappearing, as the clouds and obscurity finally allowed the sun a chance to shine.

And despite her tears, she couldn't help smiling, because at last, she knew that happiness really was within her grasp.

[siyzuii]

  ✦    ⤹    점점 더 난 네게 빠져가    ⊹    ❍

    ⟢    ₊    ↷ 𝒴ou attack my heart!

⠀   ͡ ׅ ۟  kassiadreams/siyzuii  ָ֢  ֹ  ֹ ۪ 𝟥 new layout? do we fw it?

✦   ⁔⁔ ۪   my first moodboard ever idek what they're used for but i love making them (not dr related like i said it would be.. but oh well i'm obsessed with chuu in the underwater mv anyway) i hope it looks decent?? might put one for every post if i feel like it heheheh ⊹  ֗  

☆⠀⠀𓈒⠀⠀ׁ⠀⠀this song is truly the cutest thing ever and a literal masterpiece at that, dare i say my fav kpop song!! ok now back to the actual post sorry LOL⠀ ׅ⠀⠀ ͡

── NEW INTRO POST 🔔

◌⠀ׁ₊   ˚  hiii!!! this is my shifting blog (and also my main blog)!! my username used to be siyzuii and i used to go by xylia or léa so u might know me from there but i go by kassia now! (close friends can still call me stella ofc)

i shift.. obviously anyway i've shifted to my dr 3 times now and shifted to parallel realities (on accident too) like a whole lot of times i can't even count

i have discord, tiktok, and instagram but i pretty much only use discord & tiktok, i exclusively use insta if there's someone i'm friends with that genuinely doesn't have any other socials.

note that i also only post shifting content on here. but i'm also 10x more active on discord & tiktok (mostly discord) than i am on tumblr, so feel free to add me (pls ask for my user first bc i have anti shifter friends and i don't want them finding this lol)

i also write and make edits (like every 2 months) yay!!!!

── INTERACT NEOW!!!

other shifters (specifically kpop shifters i need my spotify premium back. hi yes lets yap about our drs together pls) (honestly i'll yap with anyone about each others drs) (this is a silent invitation)

i don't care if you don't believe in shifting, if you respect people who do believe in it (and aren’t gonna force your beliefs on them) feel free to interact! i don't know why you would but whatever

cool people!!!

── GO!!!!

anti shifters (bye)

basic dni criteria

people who actively hate on everything (do you have a life?)

── WHAT TO EXPECT FROM MY PAGE

shifting content (mostly storytimes & yapping and whatever with the occasional sprinkle of memes)

shitty & messy blog layouts because idk how this app works

rants

yapping

probably me going inactive for either 2 days or 2 weeks straight (school keeps me busy and i already skipped my homework for this)

i might call u slurs if we get close!! (THAT I CAN RECLAIM)

me NOT talking about my favs (i cant openly talk about them idk why it's so embarrassing bye)

potentially horrid english because english is not my first language (i pull this excuse every time)

slow replies on here bc i forget about this app 24/7

── MY CARRD

kassiadreams.carrd.co

literally this whole thing summarized

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ♡ ͟ ׂ 𓂂 THANKS FOR 400+ FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU GUYS MWAH !! should i do anything special?? if u have any ideas lmk and i'll see what i can do LOL

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⊹ ׂ ok i know a while ago i said to drop some stuff in my ask box bc i'm bored but i havent answered any of them yet BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO FIND THEM UNTIL I GOT ON MY PC AGAIN so i'm gonna restart this time i SWEAR ill actually go over them from now on everything you ask i WILL see. thx guys!!!!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⋆ ۫ ໒ give me post suggestions i beg..

[ellouchi]

Interesting bits I found from my Mouthwashing playthrough pt 1

When you watch someone play, you can't really interact with the game in a way you want. I really really really wanted to look at nooks and crannies of MW, and I finally got to it!!!

Disclaimer: what I'm talking about isn't something groundbreaking and may seem obvious to you and maybe you've already seen some of the things I'll mention. Sorry if there are typos I'm writing this almost at 3 pm. Be kind please or I'll mentally explode you.

Starting strong with "Why Curly didn't do anything about Jimmy". Curly has been working for Pony Express for 10 years, and if the demo is cannon, Curly knows the protocols and policies of the company like the back on his hand. Given this and what Jimmy said about staying "model capitan", Curly's inaction can be partially attributed to him simply not wanting to put himself and/or others under company's scrutiny.

Crew beds! Daisuke having his personal belongings close, Jim having ... a mug, and Anya being the only one to make her bed. A bit odd that her bed is this close to Jimmy's, but she did say she had troubles with sleep and is probably busy with Curly so she doesn't sleep there often/long. It's kinda funny how Swansea's bed is the furthest away because "he snores" lol.

Next: books in infirmary. Very poor assortment: Intro to medicine, First year nurse, First aid on the frontline (?), Human anatomy 101, Epidemiology (??).... Pony Express sure does know how to cut corners. It makes Anya's endeavours even more impressive: if those are the only medical books she has at her disposal, it's a miracle she managed to keep 4 degree burns victim alive for around 5 months with barebones knowledge.

Jimmy beating the "stinky" allegations!!!!! (well sort of) Rat loves to shower!!!!

"Up or down? Illusion of choice"

"Clown mania! Learn what it means to be clown meat!" The way I "Umm??"-ed when I read the clown meat bit. Devs are freaky af...

I didn't include their whole dialogue but 1) Jimmy working with Swansea longer than Daisuke yet not making any effort to understand the people he works with... 2) Jimmy says THIS to Daisuke and then turns around and BULLIES Anya FOR NO REASON??? Pissed me off so damn much when it clicked.

Continued in part two because there is an image limit I think!!!

[chaoticnandovibes]

My Apology to the Community:

I want to be transparent on the reason why I haven't been able to update any of my fics for such a long time.

I passed out twice at the beginning of the year. They were both logged as ‘unexplained transient loss of consciousness’. Because I had two they had to investigate me.

Convinced it was just PoTS at first (struggle to regulate heart rate, causing extreme increases when standing). Did some tests, diagnosed with Epilepsy AND PoTS.

They diagnosed the falls as seizures as they couldn't be 100% sure of which it was so they went with the worst of the two, but I wasn't very convinced.

Lost my license for a year. Still waiting for the day I can get behind a wheel again and praying nothing happens to delay that.

I started Lamotrigine (anti-epileptic). First regular med I've taken.

Felt OK to begin with- I'm on a small dosage, thr tablets were chewable and tasted fine. Actually kinda looked forward to having them.

Increased it by 25mg and everything fell apart.

Had a followup appointment with a different doctor, he's convinced the falls were PoTS, not seizures. We continue the Lamotrigine as a preventive (despite no history of seizures in childhood or my family). Made more sense, even though I don't understand how they can measure how effective medication if I've never even had a seizure. But for the career path I'm on, it's better for me to stay on it anyway even if I'm not actively having fits.

Took about a month to get even remotely used to this medication. Then they tried to increase it again and same thing, just declined, onslaught of symptoms.

Went back to previous dosage until things settled. Felt alright enough to write my first Landoscar fic and make some additions to Gardener AU, as a sort of comeback, to see if I could still write okay. I can lol. Thanks again Ruby.

Then tried to increase it again. The goal is 4 tablets a day, I'm on 2. Halfway there.

Managed to get the flu right as this happened and it was the shittiest I've ever felt in my life.

Recovered, and now I'm here, and I am genuinely so fucking sorry that I haven't been able to update any of my fics for so long.

It feels as though when I'm finally on track, when everything's in order and I feel like I'm finally making progress in my life and heading towards better days, something comes along and fucks it all up like it's nothing. It all just makes you wonder if it's even worth flying if you'll fall anyway. I'm trying and I don't know, I just don't fucking know.

But I am sorry, even if sorry isn't enough to cover the months I've been inactive for. I want to write, but I can't, and I can't describe the feeling but it hurts that, right now, it's so difficult to work on my fics like I did before, the fics I love and wrote with so many wonderful people - you all know who you are.

I'm not asking for forgiveness or pity or attention, I'm just asking for understanding. They will be written and chapters will be added again one day, but today will not be that day.

Thank you for reading this, I hope it sheds enough light on everything.

– Love, Mimi ❤️

[ladychota]

Come Home (part 2)

Pairing - Loki x Reader

Warnings - Angst, Y/n going missing/running away, crying, violence, minor injuries (let me know if there's anything you want added)

Summary - Y/n left Loki to keep him safe and prevent him from getting hurt, but her actions had the opposite effect

Word Count - 1k

Come Home - Part 1

A/N - Hello :D I'm sorry for my recent inactivity! Life has just got in the way and I've had literally no free time. I've done a part 2 for this because I just really wanted to do a happy ending lol. I'm hoping it's alright - I'm not sure if I like it but I think it's a good thing for me to get back into writing. Anyway, I'm hoping to be posting more frequently now! Thank you for reading :)

Masterlist

Loki stares at the letter in his shaking hands, the ink slightly smudged in places from his tears - and what looks to be dried tears from someone else. You.

It makes sense now; why you disappeared, why you cut all contact with him. And yet, simultaneously, it makes no sense at all.

There are too many blank spaces in the story, each word sounding too devoid of emotion in his head. Whether that's because of his feelings intertwining with the message or because you're not yourself, he's unsure.

He wants to scream; let every emotion out. But his body won't let him. It feels as if he's caged; trapped behind bars of broken love.

It's then that Loki finally snaps, anger and determination flooding his veins. He's been looking for you for months, but now he's going to find you. He couldn't care less about being 'safe'; he just wishes to be with you. Hel, he would happily walk through the middle of a battlefield if it meant you'd be on the other side. Arrows would pierce through his skin, blades would slice open wounds, blood would run down his body in waterfalls; but he'd get to you. 

All he wants is you. The one person who lifted him out of the dark and showed him the light.

Now it seems he must return the favour.

He runs from the house, your slightly crumpled letter shoved in his pocket. His emotions cause his magic to be stronger than ever - it's easy to cast out an unnoticeable green wave to search for his love.

And it seems to work.

Before, he'd been so out of it he could hardly use his magic to keep the dust away from the surfaces. But just seeing a glimpse of you has made him so frustrated, yet so hopelessly love sick.

He pushes past people, his eyes on a little green shape in the distance. It glows slightly, drawing his attention to his one speckle of hope.

His pace quickens, rushing until the green blur becomes a faint outline, the outline becoming a clear, moving shape. Shouts, scuffles, yelps of pain and the sound of bodies hitting something solid fills the air. Loki's heart fills with dread as he rounds the corner and looks into a wide alleyway.

~★~

They've found you.

You stayed in one place for too long and now your paying for it. It's a four against one fight; one lies in semiconsciousness on the floor, one is attempting to regain their senses after a nasty blow to the head and the other two are pinning you against the wall, a knife against your neck as a metallic tang spreads through your mouth.

They decide to slam you against the wall once more for good measure, causing your head to loll as a wave of dizziness momentarily hits your senses. You feel something warm trickle from your mouth.

"You've been running for too long, Y/n," One of them spits, glaring you down with narrowed eyes. "But we've got you now. Boss'll be happy."

"Oh yeah? And what makes you so sure I won't run again?" You're pushing the limits, grappling for more time as your mind works overtime to find an escape route. You find nothing.

The men laugh. "With what the boss has planned for you, I don't think you'd stand a chance at running away again," A single note of fear strikes your heart. "Now, let's get this over with, shall we?"

A malicious grin seeps onto his face as he raises a large fist, intending to bring it down onto your head to knock you out. You brace yourself for the blow, sucking in a breath and watching as...

He's knocked to the floor. Green sparks of magic fly around the alleyway, your heart somehow simultaneously sinking and swelling at the same time. You'd know that colour anywhere. The men end up bound outside the alleyway, your knight in shining armour stood nearby, black locks flowing gently in the breeze.

You take a moment to catch your breath, processing what just happened as crimson droplets splatter onto the floor.

"What are you doing here?" You say, fear etching into your tone. "You can't be here! How did you even find me?"

"Y/n-" Your name slips from his tongue like honey, tempting you closer - somehow, you resist.

"No, no, no. Get away from here! You still have a chance to escape before they-"

"Y/n, stop," Loki interrupts, his voice harsh yet somewhat broken. You stop, eyes beginning to burn with tears as he timidly approaches you. "I don't care," He laughs as a single droplet slips down his cheek. "I don't care about being safe. I really don't."

He takes a few more steps until he's a mere breath away, his eyes scanning your face. In the dim lighting of the bedroom, he wouldn't of seen the slowly fading bruises, the new scars from healed cuts; but now he takes note of every single one, including the new gashes.

"I just want to be with you," He murmurs. "I just want to be with you..."

You feel your lip quivering. Loki's hand moves slowly to cup your face, his thumb rubbing gently over a yellowing bruise. You allow it, relaxing into his touch and feeling a weight lift from your shoulders.

Loki leans down and presses his forehead gently to yours, being careful not to hurt your injuries.

"Let me come with you. Please,"

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut as the tears begin to cascade. "But you just got your freedom back... I can't take it away from you. And what if you get hurt? I can't... I-"

Loki hushes you. "I don't feel free without you. And where's the fun if we don't get a little injured?" His lips curve up into a smile; something you've been longing to see since you left. "Let me come with you, my love."

The corners of your mouth quirk up slightly as you shrug, finally giving in to your heart. "Fine. You can come,"

"Thank you," He wipes off the blood that has settled below your mouth and on your chin. Then, releasing a sigh, he wraps you into his arms, squeezing you tightly.

"I'm sorry," You mumble into his chest.

"Don't be. We're together now,"

"I love you,"

"I love you too, my darling."

Tag list - @mischief2sarawr

[transgenderastarion]

hello baldurs gate 3 community again: This time im talking about modding!

hello adventurers and shifty-eyed people, I bring to you some important stuff. Mod compilations! Below the cut, if you are interested, I have compiled a few things for what I think the bg3 tumblr modding community wants (based on me being in the tag for a month straight). Things I have compiled include: - Super basic install of baldur's gate 3 mod manager (and a bit of vortex) (9 Easy Steps!) - My OWN special "Computer helper" mod bundle with super easy installations (helps it run on my piece of crap laptop who hates me so much but I love her <3) - Companion and player mods (visuals only, and like de-ab-ing and stuff, I'm not going around adding all the extra eye colour mods) INCLUDING TRANS TOP SCARS AND DADBOD MODS + MORE - Some personal favourite mods that really helped enhance my experience. Enjoy! (if you enjoy bg3 modding, please consider reblogging because I think posts with links are still shadowbanned in the tag lol)

HOW TO GET THE MOD LOADER FOR BG3 IN 3 EASY STEPS

go to the github download page and scroll down until you see the first downloadable file that reads "BG3ModManager_Lastest.zip"

extract the file into an accessible area (your downloads folder should work fine, I just put it on my desktop) (just anything that won't require you to give admin permissions to download it. I would also keep this off Local Disc (C:) for convenience) You can use any free extractor program, 7zip works, i used to use Peazip and now I use Breezip and that works well.

Tada! You should have an open folder in your extracted location. 2 things may happen here: You will get the extracted folder with the other documents inside. Congrats, you're done! If you have an extracted folder with ONLY the .exe file in it, go back into the zip file and drag the other files into the folder. This should fix the problem, all files from the zip need to be there to work.

(OPTIONAL) you CAN use Vortex mod manager to manage your bg3 mods on there, in which case any nexusmods mod will have a direct download button for you. Personally I have my subnautica mods loaded from there so bg3 is unavailable.

HOW TO MOD BALDURS GATE 6 IN EASY STEPS + SCRIPT EXTENDER

Make sure you have Baldur's Gate 3 Installed. I have it on steam, I don't know how to help with EA, sorry.

open your file explorer/documents. Go to Admin -> AppData -> Local -> Larian Studios* -> Baldur's Gate 3 (leave launcher alone). Create a mods folder if you don't already have one, but one should have been created on your first bootup. DO NOT CLOSE THIS TAB. THIS TAB STAYS OPEN UNTIL YOU ARE DONE MODDING. * I also just search Larian Studios in Local Disc (C:) but that does take some time to load

Congrats, you're ready to mod! Now, most good mods will need something called the Baldur's Gate 3 Script Extender. You can find the download page here, and this time you're going to hit the green "code" button. Ignore everything else. Hit download zip

Extract the file again, but this time into Local Disc (C:) -> Program Files (86x) -> Steam -> Steamapps -> common -> Baldur's Gate 3 -> bin* ** * MAKE SURE to extract it to the bin folder. Some other mesh and texture mods use the data bin, so confusing them is bad. ** you CAN directly extract the folder to the bin, but I personally find it easier to extract the zip back into downloads, then open my other file explorer and click and drag the whole extracted file into the bin folder

The fun part begins! Go find some mods you like (nexusmods mostly, gamebanana MAY have some). Extract folder to your mods folder in larian studios -> baldur's gate 3 -> mods. ONLY DRAG THE .PCK FILE. YOU DO NOT NEED ANY OTHER FILES UNLESS THE MOD MAKER SAYS SO.

USING THE MOD LOADER: you are done with file explorers! Go ahead and boot up the bg3modmanager.exe file from earlier. Any INACTIVE MODS must be CLICKED AND DRAGGED over to the ACTIVE MODS side. If you don't see any mods, hit the blue circle refresh button. After that, hit the "export order to game" button right beside "export". If you see a green popup at the bottom, you are good to go!

All done! You are now on your modding journey! (if you have any outlying problems, my dms are open and there is a whole host of modders out there with answers!)

NOW TO THE FUN PART: MOD PACKS!

My own Game Optimizer Pack (basic): includes General Fixes (general bug fixes), Improved UI & Improved UI Assets (necessary for customization mods), and Mod Fixer (necessary for mods to work) *you CAN download all of these files individually from https://www.nexusmods.com but this is basically. a short version of that.

My own Game Optimizer Pack (deluxe): includes all previous mods as well as 5e Spells (spell fixer), Additional Backgrounds, Customizer Compendium, Show approval ratings in dialogue, Purchase camp clothes from merchants, Tav's hairpack

COMPANION MODS:

No Abs for companions/pcs

"oops all futas" (all female companions have penises, if you want like an all transfem run or something)

Customizable Origins (lets you customize if you play as an origin character)

Astarion:

Astarion Moles and blemishes mod

Vampire Ascendant (ability fixer mod)

TAV MODS:

Freckles and Moles as Tattoo replacers

Trip's Accessory Collection (has glasses & monacles)

Ophelia's Body Shop (top heavy/bottom heavy/chubby body alternatives)

Stronger Tav - Muscular Upper Body Mod

Top Surgery Scars

Alternate Top Surgery Scars mod for bodys 1 and 3

Strongfat body - humans and half orcs

Tav's Dadbod Mod

Softie Body - Tiefling 2

New Eye Colours and Blindess for all eyes

Transmasc Clothing options

Actually feminine and lore friendly dragonborn legs

Femme obese dragonborn body (no clothing options developed yet)

Chubby/thick/bbw body mods and clothes

Big gut dragonborn (male)

Female muscle mod

Less defined abs for male bodies

Game Enhancing Mods that I recommend! (if I have one marked starting spoiler! just. just download it and ad it just trust me dont look to far into it I promise it will be good. If I have one marked late spoiler! you can look at it and decide if you want it or later)

Faithful & Faithless - no mandatory choice of god

Mundane Blindfold (one eye cover)

No Romance Limit (polyamory mod)

highlight everything tooltip

Party Limit begone

No more spiders (all spider models replaced with dogs)

Ritual spells for rp fun

Colourblind friendly spell slots

Camp event notifications

Autosaver/Save timer (GET THIS IT SAVED MY LIFE SO MUCH)

Histories & Occupations - new backgrounds

Scratch colour variety (late spoiler!/not spoiler heavy)

Just Story (for those who just want the story. every enemy has 1 hp)

Wyll's Devil Form (starting spoiler!)

Eyes of the beholder (eye alts + scleras)

[mariejordans]

i honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, so i guess i’ll start with hi! sorry, i’ve been gone so long, though probably most of you didn’t even notice i was gone lol. sorry for not giving any warning to my absence, and i am especially sorry to the mutuals who have reached out to me that i haven’t responded to. i was and still am struggling with anxiety and depression and towards the new year it was getting to be a bit much for me, so i decided to take a mental health break from social media.

i’d honestly been contemplating coming back, but today i received a dm from someone with a link to a post that was accusing me of bullying and creating fake accounts to bully other people in this fandom. first of all, i would like to emphasize that this is not true. attached below is a screenshot of all the blogs that i own (EDIT 2/9/24: i have since deleted the screenshot for my own privacy and i believe that since i made this post, there has been more than enough evidence to clear my name.) milfsociety is my main account, which i have linked before on this blog and many of my mutuals also follow me on my main, and the rest of them are just me saving my old usernames or other sideblogs that i rarely use, but all of them have been inactive for two months at least.

i do NOT condone bullying ever, and to be continually accused of it by this person is very disheartening. it started with this post (seen below) that i made back in november after seeing a post discrediting marie as the main character of gen v. i admit that my language was probably a bit harsher than was necessary, but honestly my intention was not to send hate to op (which is why i never tagged it with any gen v related tags) but to defend marie. it also wasn’t meant to be solely specific to this one person but as a general post because at the time, there were lots of accounts discrediting marie and to be honest, i was just kinda venting bc of how sick of it i was. (also, just to mention, i have intentionally left out their username because the last thing i want is to send hate to this person.) this was the only post i made on the topic and later i heard that apparently op blocked me afterward (which does not offend me in the slightest since i have since done the same thing) so this honestly should have been the end of it.

i honestly hadn’t given this post a second thought until a little under a month later i received this ask out of nowhere, accusing me of ableism and bullying. i replied to this ask, which i will link here. honestly this ask came as a complete shock to me, because i had honestly forgotten all about my previous post.

i responded to anon and in the reply i apologized to their friend for my hurtful comments and expressed that it was never my intention to attack anyone, especially anyone with a disability, which i did not know about when i initially made the first post. i also explained my side, stating why i made the post in the first place, which i still stand by. originally, i had linked their post in my reply, which in hindsight was a mistake that i regret and i should’ve known better. again, my last intention ever is to spread hate and negativity or to bully anyone, so i deleted the link when i was asked by a third party. this person has also since deleted that post about marie entirely.

shortly after i posted the reply, i guess i can only assume that whoever anon was told them about the reply. i’m honestly not sure if they’ve ever actually read this reply or not, but they made a response to my reply, accusing me of harassment and bullying. honestly, it really confused me at the time, since i’d only made two posts in reference to them, and one was a reply to an ask, but we ended up having a third party account who was mutuals with both of us acting as a mediator to settle things and i genuinely wanted to move on from the situation. we both had each other blocked and it seemed to me that anon was just trying to instigate more drama between us, so i thought it best to just leave it at that. i was also going through some mental health issues at the time (unrelated to this situation even though it didn’t help) and had been considering taking a break from tumblr, and so i thought it would be best to just go inactive for a while.

this is honestly the first time i’ve used tumblr in the two months since i’ve been gone, so i have no idea what else has been happening regarding any other blogs and this person, but apparently i am being named as the sole instigator here and i just wanted to once and for all clear up this issue and my name. i’m honestly not sure if this person will see this post or if they’ll even accept it as truth. i can’t force them or anyone to believe me as i really don’t know what else i’d have to do to prove that i don’t have any other secret accounts other than making this post.

i will probably continue to be inactive on this account as i think it is in everyone’s best interest. i never wanted to contribute or start any drama in this fandom, but i feel like i am partially responsible in how this situation has turned out, so i would also like to apologize to you all as well. i’ve never had an account of mine get as big as this one has (thank you to everyone who liked and supported my silly little ramblings!) and i can honestly say i have had the best time interacting and fangirling with you all about this show and these characters that i love so much and i will continue to enjoy and love gen v and marie from afar!

goodbye for now,

rose (aka mariejordans)

[western-magical-girl-confessions]

*Sigh…*

Hello everyone. I apologize for disappearing for a while. I know I promised to finish all the confessions and close them indefinitely, but with everything that has been going on in the past few months, I have just been reflecting a lot. After much consideration, I have made a decision:

On January 2, 2024, I am considering deleting this blog.

So with this said, I guess you might be wondering why, Well, I'll list the reasons. Been doing so for this long right?

I had been hesitant to admit it, but after some contemplation, I have come to the realization that this blog is becoming a negative experience for me. I've had to make confessions that I don't agree with and deal with anonymous hate for sharing confessions that I didn't even write. Trying to please everyone has also affected my own beliefs. Additionally, the lack of western magical girl shows has resulted in repetitive confessions. It's unfortunate, but my feelings about this blog may continue to fluctuate.

From then till now, I always said that not all the confessions made were by me, but I do admit that some of them were my own. I just want to be honest with all of you. I'm not proud of some of the confessions I made. Some aged like milk. Even though I know that I may still come across certain confessions that leave a bad taste in my mouth to this day, I just want to leave this part of my life behind me.

I have been a fan of several TV series, such as Miraculous Ladybug, She-Ra, Equestria Girls, My Little Pony, many others. However, some of the fans of these shows have given me negative experiences that I don't want to remember. Sometimes, reading these confessions reminds me of those bad experiences. Hence, I want to move on and forget about them. Nevertheless, I will cherish the good memories that these shows and their fandom have given me.

I need assurance that I won't be able to access this blog again, in case I give in to the temptation of making confessions once more. My desire is to move on and channel my energy towards other productive activities that will benefit me in my life. This has been a long-term aspiration for me, which I didn't do entirely.

I know I've said this countless times in the past, but I'll say this for the final time. I'm dealing with personal things that are just a real ongoing struggle, and I want to focus all my time and energy on them. Running this blog has started to feel like a chore, and I believe I've gotten all the satisfaction from it that I wanted.

Also, I've thought about moving on to focus on more original projects. I don't want to completely share these ideas publicly yet, but I've been having some ideas in mind.

Lastly, I'm just tired of constantly having to explain myself. I know that I don't owe anyone an explanation and I am not obligated to keep this blog active, but I did. I did it because I genuinely cared about you all and wanted to create something fun for fans of the magical girl genre. I wanted to provide a platform for others to express their feelings and thoughts without fear of being canceled. Unfortunately, I no longer want to do this…

Sorry guys for the redundant posts lol Let's just hope that this will be the last one until this blog closes (or goes inactive indefinitely). There’s no guarantee that I will delete this blog, but I’m just saying prepare for the possibility in the future. So if there’s anything that you would like to save or archive, then now’s the time to do so. I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to finish the remaining confessions in the box or not, because there's a strong possibility that I'll delete this blog anyway.

So if anyone has any thoughts or ideas or anything, feel free to say so. I have to admit, I'm going to miss this blog, but this is probably for the best.

Thanks again guys, and as always, stay magical.

If you wish to reach me (the mod), my main account is @misssakurapetal27

[f1nalboys]

hi guys; i feel like i owe a little bit of an explanation as to where i’ve disappeared off to!

things have been not all that great recently with both my mental and physical health as well as stuff happening around me. i’ve been extremely stressed and it’s been hard to focus on anything long enough to try and write. my anxiety has gotten super super super worse over the last two months to the point where i haven’t left my house except for 2 times, both because i had to. on top of that, my dads wedding is in a few days (and i’m extremely anxious about it,) my mom and step mom need surgery, and my grandma was recently diagnosed with cancer, so, all in all, i’ve just been so completely drained lol. i check in every once in a while but i realized that i haven’t had the energy to respond to anyone and i should at least let you guys know why i’m currently inactive

i love this website (mostly hehe) and i love you all sooooo much, so i really am sorry for fuckikg off like that :( i don’t want to rush myself into coming back, but i just wanted to give u guys an update on where i am so no one thinks i’m ignoring them; it’s just super hard for me to answer people and asks and stuff rn

anyways, i love you guys a lot and i hope you all stick around bc i will come back eventually and write some more disgusting porn about these freaks 🙏🙏 i lvoe u guys sm ❤️

[thegayneapigs]

Hi again! I was wondering if you could help me another time 😂 I've had my two guinea pigs for about 6 months now, and I watched this video on YouTube of the LA Guinea Pig Rescue where they said to bathe your guinea pigs at least every 4 months. I'm a little afraid that they might get sick or have a heart attack. The bigger of them, Abel, is a tad dramatic and Cain is a bit smaller in size. I have the materials to bathe them, it's just now the time to decide if I should. I've heard mixed opinions, and I was wondering what yours is.

Thank you!!!

We've been inactive for a bit on tumblr so this is probably a suuuuuuper late reply. So sorry! Hopefully it can help other piggie parents.

Bathing is such a controversial thing in the guinea pig-verse. At the end of the day, I would trust your instinct and talk with an exotic vet about your specific piggies. That being said, here's what we do.

We only bathe our piggies if we have a reason to. We don't personally feel like any more is necessary; they generally keep themselves fairly well-groomed. In the past when we have bathed them, it's come down to these reasons:

1) They stink. We have one boy (Leo) who is extremely greasy. It builds up in his fur and he starts to smell bad, and honestly it's just gross to pet him. I bathe him about once or twice a year, whenever I feel like he needs it. I mostly just wash his underside and butt area, where the grease and grime tend to accumulate. We use very gentle scent-free baby soap.

2) Moral support. When Leo's brother was alive we used to give him a mini bath too with Leo. We always found Leo was calmer and more well-behaved with a friend. Lynx didn't need it, but Leo appreciated the company.

3) Diarrhea. Kind of self-explanatory. We've had a couple sick pigs who have made a HUGE mess, and in that case we would just give them a butt bath and clean wherever was dirty.

4) Ringworm. We have a boy (Io) who had it a lot when he was young. We found that in addition to the anti-fungal cream, a bath with miconazole shampoo was very effective.

A few tips; just make sure the water is a good temp, you use very gentle soap, dry them off well, and don't get water in their eyes/nose/ears.

Also, we used to have a Silkie, and we would blow dry his hair on a low/cool setting.

I would also recommend to be mindful about where you bathe them - after a few years of trial and error, we use a shallow pan of water in the kitchen sink, and a cup to rinse them off with. (When Leo was very young, he jumped clear over the side of our bathtub. Sara just barely caught him midair. No more bathtubs for us lol.) Make sure the environment is calm and quiet, and use a soothing voice. The calmer you are, the better.

[skepticalarrie]

ALLIE!!!!

I used to follow you here when I was reallyyyy active in the fandom, always on top of everything. But being on twitter made me realise how much of my time and life I was wasting away on social media. Then suddenly life got busy last year and I took an impromptu break from all my socials and completely fell out of the circle. 2 days ago I decided to read y&b again on a whim and I realised just HOW MUCH I MISSED EVERYTHING!!!! It led me to watching an update video of larry on yt and I FOUND OUT HARRY HAS A NEW STUNT NOW?? LIKE CMON!!!!! I genuinely never thought I would fall so out of touch with the fandom. Ig there's still a part of me that really likes staying out of the drama and the pr and just wants to enjoy their music without delving too deep into anything, but I missed this too. So ofc I made a new tumblr account and followed you first haha!! I'm never (hopefully) going back on twitter now. I want to just be a tumblr larrie for life lol.

That being said,, this'll sound weird buttttt ummmm as a maybe big sister can you pretty please give me a few tips on how to stay updated on everything and not waste my life away on social media? 😭

You don't have to obviously, but I will absolutely kiss the ground you walk on if you did 🙈

Hi anon, welcome back! Fandom experiences are always so bittersweet, right? While you feel good and feel like you belong somewhere, it's also a very tricky and toxic environment. It's nothing like twitter or tiktok, but you also need to be careful with tumblr btw 🤧🤧 Anyways, I'm happy you were able to step away and now you're looking for a more "healthy" approach with social media.

But I don't know how I can help you, I think just following the right people around here who also match your vibe. Like people that you know that they will be posting updates without making a big drama out of it, and with a quick scroll you can take everything in. People usually don't like following "discussion blogs" like mine because of that sometimes, which is very understandable. Now I've been mostly inactive for the past 6 months, but I always talked about stunts and stuff like that on my blog, and that can be super draining and time-consuming for myself and for others reading it. So it was very good for me to step away and completely ignore stunts and any other stupidities that were happening, and I plan to stay like this for a while because for me is not worth it. I didn't exactly feel like I was "wasting my time" here or on social media in general, but I definitely felt like I was worried about stuff that simply didn't matter and I could use that time better. I hope that helps, anon, it wasn't the best answer LOL sorry!!!

[emberwood-if]

two more scenes and chapter 2 will officially be done :,)

It’s at 53k words as of now. For reference, the prologue and chapter one TOGETHER only makes 20k words, so yeah, this coming update is significant! Chapter 2 adds a lot of new info story wise and character wise and it feels like the true start of Emberwood.

In chapter two, we get things like:

the antagonist coming into the story

Noah/Nora and Eva/Everett joining the story

Lena Crown (and one of of three side characters you meet depending on your choices) joining the story

introduction to the powers and how they’re used (finally)

and more.

After a round of personal editing and fine tuning, I’ll be looking for beta testers to check it out! I said that in my last update but I never realized how much writing goes into writing the same scene six or seven times sorry lol

Hopefully sooner rather than later, there will be more content to the demo (after, like, three months yay!)

This isn’t a proper update, just a casual check in and an explanation of my inactivity on here. I haven’t been answering much questions or doing much because I’ve just been full steam ahead on chapter 2 + real life stuff.

Hopefully my next official update is an official release date for chapter 2.

thank u love u have a good day mwah

[sodalitefully]

Oh okay, I also spent a really long time away from tumblr and without being very connected to the band (gnr) and I came back recently, and the obsession came back with me lol. But I understand your point... Most of the blogs I used to interact with are now inactive too. And you say that about Slash because of his stepdaughter?

Welcome back!

For me, I think the obsession came from having people on tumblr to get excited with. On my own I'll latch onto something for maybe 2-6 months and then move on, but I was super into gnr for like 3 years. Mind blowing. I've never had that experience with anything else. But things change, people come and go, fandoms grow and shrink... so it goes. Sorry, I'm getting reflective here haha

Yes, because of his stepdaughter 🩵

[hees-mine]

i've been inactive but i just caught up on your page and wow! The patreon is def a good marketing idea lol. There will definitely be people who pay to read your works since desperate horny ppl with money buy anything😂this whole "i don't have enough money" excuse is tickling me bc it seems like these ppl have more things to worry ab than begging for part 2s😭.

but yeah it was a bit surprising bc even though writing is time-consuming and im not getting paid on here, that's not what I do for it for. I genuinely like expressing my creativity for the fun of it and over time it feels like a piece of art. its just fun idk.. it's kind of mind-boggling that you're complaining about not getting anything in return because what else would you get in return? All your supporters can do is like comment and re-blog, they can't do anything else bc it's just a social media platform lol. i'm a pretty big page but even if it were 20 people reading I would still enjoy pleasing those 20 ppl. If the hate or negativity ur referring to is getting that bad I personally would just turn off asks!

ur gonna do what you wanna do and you'll make money regardless so kudos to you! It's just that i don't think this writing field should be taken so seriously or have such an effect on you, and heeseung is a human being in real life, so it is kind of weird that you'd want financial gain from it since he can't consent to that. but hey I support everyone's hustle.

you have amazing stories on here so I took a sigh of thanks that you're not going to delete or deactivate. They get me through a lonely night girl.😂😂def just delete the app if it ever gets too much for u!

Sigh

The wording of this is horrible

A lot of back handed compliments here but it’s all over text so maybe I’m not reading it right so I’m not going to dive into it

As far as money goes people can do whatever they want with it if they have it they have it if they don’t they don’t I’m not going to get into peoples finances let alone call it an “excuse” however I do agree their are more important matters than asking for a part 2

Key word YOU don’t do it for that reason me and you are two different people I don’t do it to make money either cause this blog was free to the whole public in the beginning so money was not on my mind when I made it

By you saying “i genuinely like expressing my creativity for fun” implies that I don’t

Im sorry that your mind is boggled because when I said I don’t get something in return was not in regards to money it’s a simple request for respect thats what I’m not getting here is basic respect and thats all I’ve been asking for for the past couple months

I get how social media works lol and the thing is I don’t need numbers or reblogs simply appreciate and respect my wishes and we’re gucci over here I don’t care if I had one reader as long as you’re appreciative of what I take time out of my day to do I’m cool with that

The negativity comes in more forms than just my ask box

I’m not taking it seriously and I don’t think anyone else is either clearly at the end of the day it is by no means affecting me in my personal life

Geez

This isn’t about “financial gain” it’s an opportunity for me to try and find the people who actually care about what I do and weed out the ones who just mass consume content with zero feedback sure I’d be making a little money off it but it would never be enough to sustain anything in real life I’m not greedy for a few bucks

So basically with that logic if him not being able to consent to me writing stories about him and making said money from those stories people would have to stop making fanmade items as well cause he’s not consenting to that either

Or is this different because there’s smut involved?

Either way it’s neither here nor there

Again the financial gain part is not even what I aim to do like I said some money would be involved yes but I’m not out here asking for 200$ dollars

Don’t know if you looked far enough but I’ve stated multiple times that if anyone had questions about pricing and what content they’d like to see then shoot me a dm/ask I’m open to making this a place where my readers can be happy and I can get away from the negativity that has plagued this blog

Thank you for liking what I put out i appreciate it🩵

It’ll never be a point where it gets too much because as I stated it’s just annoying but other than that it doesn’t have an impact enough for me to delete my blog it’s only an issue on tumblr

If I do ever delete it’ll be because I’m done with writing

Thanks for the input I hope my response just gives a little more insight on what things are like from my pov