#sorry for posting 3 versions of this but i drew the first two on my lunch so

[doublydaring]

branching off from film criticism into ghost hunting

[beepboopkek]

— Practice makes perfect (F!Reader)

Including: Dr.Ratio x AFAB!Reader amab version has been posted! cw: !! NSFW !!, afab!reader, established relationship, pwp but barely, you call him veritas, cl1t slapp1ng, 0rga$m d3n1al, c0ckwarm1ng, dr is kinda mean, light degradation , kind of left at a cliffhanger?? idk, a little short, reader is doing math w/c: 1.2k a/n: HELLO IM BACK WITH ANOTHER DRABBLE first time writing for someone other than Jing Yuan so sorry if its not that good ue ue ue im still learning </3 anywyas i somehow got to a 100 followers which is both exciting and concerning but yeag hope u guys like this :3 &lt;3 NSFW BELOW THE CUT

“This simply won't do.”

Your boyfriend huffed in annoyance as your shaking hands continued to—(or well, at least tried to)— do the calculations for the question that shined brightly on the tablet resting on the table.

You couldn't decide whether to be mad at him or yourself for the predicament you were in currently.

— Sat prettily on his lap, your feet barely touching the ground and his cock snugly kept to the hilt within the confines of your pussy.

You exhaled shakily, your body shuddering as his fingers that were previously stimulating your clit were now simply resting atop it.

“Another mistake. How disappointing, I excused the last one but, you really are testing my limits now.”

His head was over your shoulder as he tutted and eyed the screen, watching every move you made and deducing what was correct and what was not.

“Maybe, if you'd let me focus I could—” 

– and suddenly, he raised his hand and landed a quick slap right on your clit.

Your body jerked in response as your words got cut off with a gasp.

The doctor's hand came back to rest on your clit, tapping it gently to soothe the pain from the slap. His other hand that was wrapped around your waist gripped you tightly as he leaned forward, pushing his cock at a deeper angle.

“If I hear another one of your remarks, things won't end well for you. Now, focus.”

You exhaled loudly in frustration as you forced your attention back onto the question, lifting the pen and continuing your calculations.

The both of you had been together for several years now, graduating from The University of Veritas Prime together— Your intellect was almost on par with his.

However, what you were doing now, though, was quite… questionable.

See, unlike him, you preferred the simpler life of teaching at a university. Getting into a guild or something of that sort had never really interested you. But, your boyfriend being… Well, The Veritas Ratio— he had his ways of convincing you to at least work on your mathematical skills to improve further the chances of you getting invited to the Intelligentsia Guild from the IPC.

So, he offered a simple solution.

Tutoring. One-on-one, of course.

… Which snapped you back to the current situation- you were dripping onto the chair on which the two of you were seated. The hard planes of his torso snug against your back.

“Another mistake.” His voice was low in your ear and you could almost feel the annoyance dripping from those words alone.

Fuck. You hadn't even registered what you were writing, your brain growing increasingly fuzzy with the way his cock pressed into all your sensitive spots.

He placed another slap on your clit, your body jerking in response as your pussy clenched around his cock.

“Start counting, Let's see how long you can keep up, hm?” 

“V—Veritas, do I really have to do t—”

Your body jerked as he landed another slap to your already tender clit.

“Address me properly.”

“Fuck— I'm sorry–”

You swallowed down your complaints, knowing it would result in only more punishment if you continued.

“That— that was three.”

Veritas smiled against your shoulder before pressing your hips into his and moving you just a little bit… but nowhere near enough. He kissed the shell of your heated ear,

“That's my girl, I knew you could do it.”

You moaned lightly as he drew circles on your frayed clit before giving it a gentle pinch and then taking away the stimulation altogether— Your heated body simmering down into a somewhat uncomfortable yet pleasurable state.

“Come on now, let's continue. You still have the whole test left.” 

You nodded shakily as you lifted the long-forgotten pen and started writing on the tablet.

This was the fourteenth question, sixteen more to go.

You managed to distract yourself enough to finish the question, The only sounds in the room were the quick taps from your pen and the occasional embarrassingly loud squelching noise from you that came as a result of Veritas moving to get more comfortable. As you finished, you waited with bated breath in hopes that he would say something.

“Is it—is it correct?”

Your boyfriend smiled before uttering a yes and leaning his head forward to kiss your cheek gently.

“Not bad… five points. So, you can be good for me, hm?”

Before you could respond, he spoke up again, “Complete the fifteenth question correctly and I'll consider letting you have an orgasm. How does that sound?”

“Please—”

A small pinch to your clit.

“It was a rhetorical question. Continue.”

You nodded numbly as you willed every fiber in your brain to focus on the question. 

Just as you were about to finish the last bit of the question you felt your boyfriend slowly beginning to massage your clit again, his lips attaching to your shoulder and neck— biting, kissing and licking as he pleased.

“Veritas— Aeons– Let me finish this, please.”

You realised your mistake a second too late, though.

Another slap, accompanied by a loud gasp escaped your mouth as you dropped the pen onto the table, your feet flexing as you processed the sudden mix of sensations that went through you.

“Count.”

Yep, you've just about crossed his limit.

“Four.” 

You steadied your breathing again.

A few beats of silence pass by and you finally finish the fifteenth question. Your breathing picked up again as you awaited Veritas’ next move.

“Half an hour. That's how long you took to finish fifteen simple arithmetic questions.”

He did not sound happy.

Before you could defend yourself, He grabbed you by the waist and stood up, setting your upper body on the table as the digital tablet dissipated.

Your feet were off the ground at this angle, meaning that his strength was the only thing keeping you steady on the table.

Veritas pushed himself deeper inside you as you arched your back, draping his larger frame over yours as he leaned down to talk right next to your ear.

“What would people think, hm? An esteemed professor with seven doctoral degrees reduced to a slobbering mess because of me?”

You only whined in response, your brain had long turned into mush— unable to comprehend anything but him. 

Neither you nor Veritas knew how you held on that long.

“Please— Sir– I did what you asked me to do.”

“I asked you to do 30 questions within half an hour. You managed only half of that.”

His voice was neither stern nor soft— just somewhere in between that you could only describe as– Veritas.

“I suppose, though, I did promise you that I'd consider granting you relief.”

Your face lit up at the thought of finally, finally getting your orgasm— The one that you had been denied for the past thirty minutes.

“Oh, such an adorable expression,”

He gathered both your hands and pinned them on your lower back, gripping them with one of his own. Veritas drew his hips back and thrust back in, moving you and the table ahead.

You moaned at the burst of pleasure, finally— “Tell me the answer to number sixteen.” Shallow thrusts that were just shy of where you were most sensitive. Asshole.You took deep breaths. “I don’t— fuck- know the question—” The digital tablet reappeared in front of you, the question glaring back at you as you whined pathetically. You felt the hand on your hip moving down to squeeze the swell of your ass. It was a warning.

Veritas planted his free hand into your hair and tugs, pulling your head back in a firm grip. “Answer me.”… Maybe accepting his offer wasn’t a good idea.

[nebulousbrainsoup]

Silk & Spice [Teaser]

SUMMARY: You're here to forget your worries, and who better to help you than not just one but two beautiful men? Here's hoping you haven't bit off more than you can chew. PAIRING: incubi!jihan x fem!reader GENRE: smut (none this teaser), suggestive AU/TROPE: demon au WORD COUNT: 548 this teaser WARNINGS: party setting, evil twins evil twinning RATING: mature A/N: happy birthday to shua! i'd love to be posting the full version of this today, but my winter collabs have taken over my life. so here's a little teaser from the standalone prequel to the rest of the demonteen universe featured in my halloween mini collab with @justhere4kpop. huge shout out to @hobeemin for the banner and dividers <3 i am in love with them masterlist | join my taglist | buy me a coffee?

Your overly carefree attitude was what drew Joshua toward you in the first place, a hint of something sour lacing your otherwise pleasant scent. It was a front, clearly; one he fully intended to break through. He flashed a smirk over his shoulder as he dropped Jeonghan’s hand and carefully sidled up next to you, his brother following suit on your other side. Your eyes blinked open as your arm brushed against the elder, startling and stumbling back into Joshua’s chest. He reached a careful hand out to steady you, meeting your wide, doe-eyed stare with a soft smile.

“I’m so sorry, we didn’t mean to startle you,” he called over the music, holding his hands up in a peaceful gesture once you were steady. “You just looked like you were having so much fun, we were hoping we could join you.”

Your eyes narrowed warily, and Jeonghan flashed a smirk from over your shoulder, cocking an eyebrow at him in challenge. The look was gone quickly as you turned, letting your eyes drag over him before you returned it to Joshua, giving him the same treatment. On any normal night, you’d scoff and turn them away without a second thought. With your recent rejection fresh in your mind, though, the prospect of a night spent with one or both of the gorgeous men beside you was a very appealing one. Their presence was intoxicating already, and you felt yourself leaning subconsciously into them. Slowly, the tension in your body eased, a smirk spreading over your features.

“I don’t see why not.”

Joshua grinned, taking half a step closer to you as he finally let his gaze rake over your body. “Fantastic,” he practically purred, a glint of something mischievous in his eyes. “I’m Joshua, by the way.”

Before you could return his greeting, you were cut off, his friend’s arms settling loosely on your hips as he settled behind you. “Jeonghan,” he muttered, his breath sending a shudder down your spine. 

“Y/N,” you breathed, leaning back into him. “I’m Y/N. I take it you two are a package deal?”

They both chuckled to themselves as Joshua slotted himself in front of you, taking your hands and settling them on his shoulders. “You don’t seem too bothered by that.”

You hummed, shaking your head as you let yourself melt between the pair, the warmth of their bodies wrapping around you to dull the noise of the party. “Bothered? No. Curious, yes,” you hummed, reaching up to card a hand into Joshua’s hair. “Why do you need little ol’ me when you’ve got each other?” 

To your surprise, the quieter man behind you barked a laugh, his grip tightening on your hips. “You misunderstand, lovely. We’re not interested in one another. We just happen to have similar tastes.” You grinned, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. The darkness in his gaze sent a shudder down your spine. “And a penchant for competition.”

Breath catching in your throat, you turned your startled gaze back to the man in front of you. He wore a similar expression to his friend as he pressed further into your space, sandwiching you between them. “What do you say, darling? Care to find out who can please you better?”

© December 2023 nebulousbrainsoup | all rights reserved. reposting and translating of author’s work is prohibited.

[bloobydabloob]

Any tips on getting better at realism? I've been drawing very cartoony works forever but I really want to branch out and draw more realistically and hone that style but Everytime I try it never feels human 😔

Suuuure. Sorry it’s fairly long, answer under the split thing.

I’d say mainly just practice drawing from reference first. Before I started doing any sort of more abstractive or non referential realism, I spent time practicing with maybe 20 or 30 paintings from reference.

Here are just some that I made during that time. I think they really really helped me to learn the principles of painting appealing realism, different kinds of people, color, skin, lighting, and anatomy.

In terms of actually drawing realism (whether from reference or not) I think the most important tip I can give, as well as the most overlooked ironally, is stylisation. Most realism that I see doesn’t connect at all with me which I think is maybe what you’re talking about when you say your portraiture doesn’t “feel human”.

Learning to draw realism in my eyes is largely about learning how to shortcut every single thing you can. So instead of drawing everything exactly how it is using an image, learn how to stylise realism in your own way. I find that if you don’t find a way to simplify the process, it can end up being A : Busy and B : hard for you to create more realistic images from imagination or from real life instead of photographs.

Here is a 40 minute drawing I just drew from a random photo I pulled off Pinterest + small explanation on what helps me to break down an image. I simplify realistic portraiture by adopting somewhat of an angular style, but the best realism / semi realism artists I know of draw realism using their own stylisation methods.

I also personally find that it helps to start by blocking in instead of sketching with lines, but I understand that this is a personal preference and might not work for you.

I also say this for everything but there is no “cheating” in art and anyone who tells you there is fundamentally doesn’t know anything about drawing, especially in the learning process. Cheat if you want. Use grids to plot where things will be, colorpick, trace, liquify, transform, whatever. Although I do also recommend that you only use this as a way to learn and don’t rely on it as a crutch, it helps a lot to be able to draw independently of all of these factors. But I learned to draw partially *by* being a kid who traced and colorpicked and fucked around. Who cares

This applies to everything too but just practice a lot. I’m too embarrassed to show but when I first starting drawing semi realistic art without reference it fucking sucked. Like *really* fucking sucked because I am extremely extremely faceblind and I mean that. It takes me 3 seasons of a show to recognise an actor’s face. But because I’ve drawn hundreds of faces now I know what I’m doing kind of. I also never post any realism art immediately because oftentimes if I don’t look at it for a day or two, I’ll come back to it and notice that something doesn’t look quite right. I would say that definitely helps.

ALSO very important but look at it from far away or a little version. I always look at my drawing in the digital navigator on FA and it helps me to notice when something looks dumb.

Anyways hope this helped at all… lalala. I don’t know man. Don’t take my words as bible I’m just some guy and I am also not a professional and realism is definitely not my strong suit. Tutorials are bullshit and if you think any of this advice sucks for you then don’t take it and forge your own path. Bless

[fantasy-drawings-ra]

Miscellaneous Sketches: Sorry if theses are still a bit messy I was rushing whilst taking a picture of some of the sketches I’ve made in July. And I forgot to erase the smudges on the side.

Image Descriptions:

First image is of is a front view from a head to shoulders style shot or Baizhu. With a slight tilt upward where he’s looking down at viewer and a gentle smile.

Second image is of Herlock Sholmes from head to waist. He is turned in a side profile to the left with his face in a 3/4 angle to the viewer. He has his right arm in a pointing up pose and his expression is a wink from his right eye whilst smiling at viewer.

Third image is of the new Zelda in Echoes of Wisdom. Where she’s carefully walking to our left with her head facing over her shoulder to the right. It’s another 3/4 angle. Where she’s clutching the tri-rod up with both hands and her little friend tri to our right. Her cape and hair are flowing to the right and she has a slightly guarded expression on her face. Full image of her walking. Fourth image is of Princess Zelda based on The Four Swords manga version of her. She is looking slightly down to our right with her hands clasped together to the front. Her eyes are tilted slightly down and she has a calm expression to her face. It’s a 3/4 angle and shot.

Fifth image is of my Oc Dante looking to our right with a slightly miffed/agitated look. His eyes and nose are a bit scrunched and he has a little pout on his lip. He has his head looking over his shoulder with his shoulders face to our left. 3/4 angle from head to shoulders.

Sixth image is of Vio also based on the Four Swords manga version. He is looking to the viewer with a guarded expression facing to the left. Head to shoulders 3/4 angled shot. He has his long hat flowing to the right.

Seventh image is of Professor Layton and Descole based on the famous Lagos and Kabru meme that I hope to redraw in digital after I finish the Herlock Sholmes piece that I’m working on at the moment. The first part of the image has Layton on the right facing the left with a neutral expression. It’s a side profile shot. Descole is on the left facing left but his eyes looking back to Layton. The way that he’s drawn is in a goofy funny sort of exaggerated style and big eyes with three big long eyelashes. The second half of the picture is of Descole in a normal style looking up with tears streaming down his face and eyes closed. To what Layton is supposed to say in the joke (along the lines of “I’m not going to call you a good brother. What you put me through was terrible!” He’s still facing to the left.

Eighth and final image is of Miles Morales Spider-man practice. Looking forward to our right in a 3/4 angle. With a gentle neutral expression and is shot from head to shoulders.

End image description.

Extra fun notes:

The Herlock drawing gave me a bit of trouble this was my third attempt in the month and my fourth attempt ever. I’m still not really satisfied with how it came out but I’m hoping I can fix it in digital.

I’m really excited about the new Zelda game Echoes of Wisdom. So much so that I remember drawing this the same day the first trailer came out. I was really happy with how it turned out. And I’m hoping to get to drawing it in digital hopefully before the game comes out in September. Funnily enough as I was writing the image descriptions the second trailer came out. ☺️

I drew the two four swords characters (Zelda and Vio) after reading through the manga again. Which the last time I did was back in 2013. It was really fun and really brought back memories. So I had to draw something for it. Maybe in the future I’ll hopefully find the time to sketch the rest of the cast.

For the Laios meme of Descole and Professor Layton. As I mentioned I’m hoping to fix it up in digital after the Herlock piece and if I can do another version of this joke with Descole at Bronev at the encouragement from my sibling.

End of Post.

[serenaoffaerun]

Tenacity - Chapter 3 of the "Consequences" series

It's finally here!! Thank you all for your patience. Because of the physical letter writing I drew for Tav and Gale's back-and-forth, this took much longer than I anticipated. Plus, the story just kind of...ran away with itself... This chapter comes in at a word count over 8,000 and I don't know how that happened LOL.

Big thanks again to @alpydk who started off this series with what was supposed to be a one-off angst story, and allowed me to write my own sequel chapters to finish the story my own way. (Alphydk's chapter 2 can be found here.) As my first long-form writing in over a decade, it's been a fun challenge to take two characters I love so much and get them out of a position I wouldn't have put them in in the first place. 💜

Without making you all endure any more of my "propensity towards verbosity," I present chapter 3: Tenacity (complete with hand-written letters!)

Summary: After agreeing to try to re-establish their friendship/relationship by writing letters back and forth, Tav and Gale set out on their journey of communicating, listening, and healing. You better believe they're both going to hold on for dear life.

Word Count: 8,289 (I'm not sorry.)

CW: References to depression, alcoholism

Tags: GalexTav, angst/fluff, pre-established (albeit rocky) relationship, future smut? (no spoilers...), brief mention of infertility (in a positive way??), depresso espresso, communication, healing, Tara's getting ALL the tuna.

[I'm sure I left some out, I'll come back and add to it once I get this on AO3 - coming soon!!]

Screenshot: Taken from my own gameplay. Please do not re-post as your own.

NOTE: For those who don't want to read Tav's mediocre (but improving) handwriting or Gale's flowy cursive, the text version is printed below each letter (including doodle descriptions!)

9/2 4:45PM Pacific - EDIT FOR MORE NOTES:

My underlines went away when I copy/pasta'd from GoogleDocs, and now I realize that you can't underline because of links, so they're bolded and italicized instead.

REGARDING BHAALSPAWN INFERTILITY - this is NOT canon to BG3/DnD/Forgotten Realms. I totally made this up to fit my literary needs. 😉

Alpydk's chapter 1: Consequences

Chapter 2: Acquiescence

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav assessed herself before she even opened her eyes. Between the wine and the crying, she was probably the most dehydrated person in all of Faerûn. The pounding headache she was used to. She'd made blackout curtains for a reason, after all. But the soul-wrenching nausea, that was new.

Being blissfully infertile, she knew there was no risk of pregnancy. One of her permanent "gifts" as Bhaal's former Chosen was the ability to be as promiscuous as she pleased without fear of pregnancy in order to weasel her way into the hearts, minds, and pants of any of her previous victims. Not that she'd needed that ability since the Nautiloid, or especially her subsequent severing from said god. But this was no ordinary nausea anyway. It was coming from somewhere much more complex.

Among the growing list of sensations Tav noticed from her downward-facing zombie position on the couch, she found two long-lost friends: the physical feeling of being simultaneously sated but also achingly empty in her core, and...hope. Surprisingly enough, she realized it was the latter that brought on the nausea.

Crippling anxiety, overwhelming depression, stabbing guilt, these are feelings she was familiar with and knew how to handle: with denial and alcohol. Just ball it up and shove it in the "future ulcer" pocket by the stomach and cover it up with a bottle of wine or two.

Hope, on the other hand, is a fickle bitch. It introduces the possibility of a better future. The idea that things could get better. Then comes the uncertainty.

‘Desirable things in life are never guaranteed,’ she told herself. ‘You can always lose them. Don't get TOO comfortable! You might still have to live the rest of your life without the man you truly believe is your soulmate.’

Tav had NEVER believed in the idea of a ‘soulmate’ before. That was even more laughable than ‘love at first sight.’ But she’d come to believe it now.

‘And you fucked it up, didn't you? You let yourself have the worst lapse in judgment, then you doubled down on it by screaming and being a hurtful wretch. You did this. You did this and you don’t deserve forgiveness, you don’t deserve mercy. No one else will ever fill the hole in your heart, so you’re going to die alone and unloved. That’s what you deserve.’  

The words from the voice in her head kept playing on a loop for the last six months and they wouldn’t shut up. Drowning them out with wine and sleep had become her modus operandi. There’d been nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. It was the way things were going to be, she’d accepted it. Especially in the last few months after Waterdeep. She couldn’t have her heart broken again if she didn’t expect anything.

But now, new words were taking up space in her brain. His words.

‘…there was a time that we’d also brought out the best in each other, once. I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again.’

‘Fuck.’ Those words had stolen her breath. Given her reason to think that there was a chance. That maybe he would give her the mercy she knew she didn’t deserve. Gale was just that kind of man.

If that were truly the case, though, why did he shut her out so quickly in the first place without getting to even talk about things. Why did he go straight to the biting comments and yelling instead of showing any kind of signs of forgiveness being a possibility.

‘Because you ripped out his heart that was already broken and threw it on the ground with all the remains of any self-confidence he had left after Mystra, you inconsiderate, unfaithful monster. It’s a wonder he’s still alive.’

These were the new conversations Tav now had running back and forth in her head and that’s where the source of the nausea was seated. In the unknown future where happiness still existed. Along the path that could go to life-long depression and loneliness or a blissful existence with the man who completed her, and she wouldn’t know which way she’d end up traveling until she got there. It was terrifying.

‘I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again.’

Face still mashed in the couch pillow, she balled up her fist and slammed it down into the cushion. Depression wasn’t going to win today. Or any other day, for that matter, at least not like it had been. She would not allow herself to be swept up in the waves of self-loathing and doubt to the point of being non-functional. Not anymore.

She took a deep breath and sat up, eyes still closed. There was a warmth on her face that she knew would be the late-morning sun coming in through the living room window. As she cracked her eyes open, she winced as the light seared into her brain and fired off pain signals. Slowly, she stood up, walked across the room, and felt around for the blackout curtains.

Medicine. Shower. Food. In that order.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Looking around the room later that day, Tav felt pretty proud of herself. Once she got herself cleaned, fed, and a bit more clear-headed, she opened the curtains again and opened all the windows. Her little depression hole needed a good airing out.

Starting with all the trash, she got rid of the wine bottles, the old food, even the bin filled with dirt and burned clothing. After washing off surfaces and sweeping floors, she put all the books back on the shelf, keeping a box full of scrolls and a quill pulled out on her desk. One sandwich and two sinks full of dishes later, it was nearing night time, but she had one more task ahead of her: the letter.

She’d been chewing over words in her head all day, but she still had no idea where to start. How do you even begin a letter like this? ‘Hi, Gale’? ‘Dear Gale,’? ‘Esteemed Professor Dekarios,’? If the greeting was this difficult, how would she even move on to the rest of the letter? She knew for damn sure that she wasn’t quite ready to be fully emotionally vulnerable, especially with him (even though he’s the only one she should ideally be emotionally vulnerable with…).

‘Welp, might as well just start,’ she said to herself as she sighed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hi Gale,  [in the top right hand corner was a little swirly doodle with some flowers and leaves. Next to it was written ‘I don’t have fancy paper, so I tried to do something cute?]

I’m having trouble starting this letter, so I figured maybe just admitting that is as good of a place as any. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what you want to hear, I don’t know what will help or what will just hurt… Here’s what I do know:

-          I’m sorry. [there are tear stains on the paper here]

-          There’s no excuse for what I did.

-          I don’t even know if I know the reason for what I did.

-          I don’t feel like I deserve your patience, your forgiveness, your mercy, anything, really. Your anger is totally justifiable.

-          I don’t know who I was that night or in the months following.

Except, I do. I’d reverted back to the person abomination I walked away from. The hateful, murderous, evil, wretched thing I said I’d never be again. Yet, I can’t claim that I wasn’t in my right mind at the time either. I never lost consciousness. I was aware of the decisions I was making. I just don’t understand why I made them in the first place, other than I’d lost hope. I’d stopped trusting you. I’d assumed you were going to leave me and go back to Mystra or pursue godhood where you’d no longer be…you. [Next to this is a small sketch of a broken heart.]

Here's what else I know:

-          You didn’t deserve that.

-          I don’t deserve you.

[Below this was another item that was heavily crossed out, but you can make out the words ‘I still’.]

(this letter is a mess, I’m sorry. I’m just…flustered)

[On the right side of the paper, there was a list of four items outlined in a rectangle, above which was written ‘Good things’ – a question mark had followed this, but it was crossed out with an X. The four items are:]

-          I took a shower today.

-          I cleaned my house for the first time in weeks today.

-          I’m going to stop drinking for a while.

-          I’m exhausted and I’m going to bed.

It’s not ‘the letter of a lifetime,’ but it’s a start. I hope you’re well and that your students aren’t giving you too much of a hassle. Can’t be as bad as slaying a whole camp of goblins, right? [Here there was a small doodle of a goblin head, X’s for eyes and tongue sticking out, laying in a pool of blood next to a sword.]

I look forward to hearing from you. Take care of yourself, please.

-Tav

P.S. I’m working on my handwriting. I’m sorry if any of this is illegible. Not really a subject that was covered in “Bhaalspawn University.”

[At the bottom of the letter was drawn a curvy vine with leaves, flowers, and flower buds.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gale swallowed thickly as he held the letter in his trembling hands.

‘She did it. She actually wrote, and it wasn’t full of anger and insults. It was a real, honest-to-the-gods attempt at talking.’

His eyes shimmered as he re-read two lines over and over again:

-          You didn’t deserve that.

-          I don’t deserve you.

His heart ached as he pondered the fact that she thought so little of herself. It made him remember his inner monologue after the debacle with Mystra and the orb. All Gale told himself for a year was that he’d made mistakes so huge that no one should have to ever bear the burden of his presence again. Anyone who showed any affection towards him, platonic or otherwise, was a fool who was wasting their time. They’d just end up being let down by this depressed shadow of a former Archmage. Knowing that Tav was the one now who truly felt she wasn’t deserving of forgiveness or mercy brought tears to his eyes.

He felt a bit lighter, however, at the implication that she even cared whether or not she was worthy of him. Not only cared, but was taking bolder steps forward. She’d apologized, she’d wished him well, she’s taking care of herself… Then it dawned on him that she’d gotten so low that a task as mundane as taking a shower was to be celebrated on a list of positive things.

Oh, did he remember that pit of despair well. He’d spent a year down at the bottom of it. Cut off from all outside contact, forgetting (or refusing) to eat, going days, even a week or more without bathing because he didn’t have anyone to see anyway. No point in expending the energy.

Now, however, Gale was at least teaching. That had kept him going. Even if he didn’t interact with many people outside of Blackstaff Academy, he was still getting dressed, going to a place with other people, and teaching Faerûn’s youth to harness and control the Weave.

But what of Tav? How often was she seeing others? It seems she had relocated after all. The return address is listed in Daggerford, a town not far south of Waterdeep full of retired adventurers, artisans, craftsmen, and farmers. A relatively quiet place compared to Baldur’s Gate, but still a city with plenty of opportunities. (And only a three-, maybe four-day travel from Gale. That would explain how easily she ended up in Waterdeep in the marketplace on that cold, rainy day…).

He remembered her telling everyone how much of a hero she’d been at the reunion party. What happened to her adventuring? Would she even be home enough for their letter-writing to be consistent? She’d made no mention of her activities, that was something he’d want to follow up on. As much as it would have previously brought him satisfaction to see her put in her place for everything she’d said, cut off from others and alone, now it just caused an ache in his chest.

The threads of his bitterness and rage had already begun unraveling. He’d been letting the truth sink in since the reunion: Tav had acted reckless and lashed out because she was scared. Scared of losing him. The thought of him abandoning her for Mystra or for godhood drove her to seek pleasure in someone else. Yet he hadn’t bothered to get to the root of the problem at the time. All he knew was that he had his heart broken. He had been betrayed. He had been ‘abandoned.’

He sighed heavily as the pangs of grief and remorse started to take hold. What a fool he’d been. A self-centered, arrogant, quick-tempered fool. But he shook those thoughts out of his head. This wasn’t the time to keep dwelling on what he had or hadn’t done in the past. Where the ball of anger had resided in his chest, just as roiling and hungry as the Netherese orb had been, he felt the tension had begun to break apart. There was still much healing to do, but now there was a little room for the patience and understanding he’d wished he’d displayed before.

He re-read the letter again, chuckling lightly at her doodles and scratches. Her handwriting had much improved, she gave herself too little credit. It was good to see she still had her silly sense of humor as well. She hadn’t been completely robbed of her beautiful qualities.

Draining the last sip of wine in his cup, he arose from his spot on the balcony and walked inside to sit at his desk. One thing nagged at him before he could start writing his response, though. Underneath the bottom list where she said she didn’t deserve him, she’d written something and then furiously scratched it out. He thought he might know what it said, but didn’t want to get carried away if he was wrong. Holding the letter carefully in front of the lit candle on his desk, he stared at the scratches, trying to piece together the words underneath. His breath caught when his eyes brought them together:

‘I still’

I still… Still what? I still hear the voice of the Dark Urge? I still won’t forgive you?

No. Given the context of what was said and the direction they were going, it had to mean only one thing. He would only allow himself to think it was one thing.

‘I still love you.’

Hoping with everything he had that it was true, he took another deep breath and pulled out a scroll from his desk drawer. It was his turn now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Tav, [In small writing to the right of the greeting, it says (my ‘fancy paper’ is at the academy) with a winking face doodle.]

Sometimes I think I’d prefer a good goblin massacre to a room full of hormonal teenage wizards learning to control a firebolt spell, but each day is a new adventure, after all! [After this sentence, Gale had doodled a flame, his head/hair with wisps of smoke, and in small writing with an arrow pointing to the drawings, (I tried).]

Thank you for your thoughts, and especially for your apology. I can’t in good conscience say that everything is forgotten, but I fully believe we are on the right path forward.

I would also like to apologize, because you deserve it. You are so much more deserving than you think you are of kindness, understanding and, yes, when I am able, forgiveness. I understand, likely better than anyone else you might know, how strongly self-loathing can take hold.

Which is why I want to tell you that I’m proud of you. I don’t know what you’ve been up to in recent months. I heard you telling the others about some adventuring opportunities, but I gather from your letter that self-care had gone by the wayside. I’m proud and happy to hear that you’re starting to focus on yourself. Yes, I agree with you: showering, cleaning, limiting alcohol intake, and even being tired enough to go to bed are all good things. I hope you continue being kind to yourself.

Admittedly, I’d fallen into a similar rut. While I get plenty of social interaction at the academy, my extra-curricular life has been…non-existent. I come home to my tower, I usually remember to eat, I grade papers, stay up entirely too late researching, and then attempt to get enough sleep to repeat that schedule ad nauseum. The cleanliness of my home, and myself, had been sorely neglected. But as you are focusing on self-improvement, I shall endeavor to do likewise.

Speaking of self-improvement, that’s where the letter-writing idea came from. Rather, through Tara’s efforts to help me during my year of isolation. She’d suggested I do some journalling to write out my thoughts and emotions regarding Mystra. Not only to get them to stop rolling around in my head, but to be able to articulate them. It did help, quite immeasurably, in fact. That’s why I’m so thankful you’ve agreed to this in the first place. I feel like it will serve us well. [A filled-in purple heart was drawn here.]

Actually, I can’t tell you how many letters I started writing to you in the last six months. I really did try. It just always felt…wrong, somehow. Like it wasn’t the right time, or my words weren’t sincere, or they’d fall on deaf ears. But I’m so glad we’re ‘talking’ now. I’ve missed you, Tav… [A filled-in but broken purple heart was drawn here.]

Tell me what you’ve been up to! Tell me your thoughts. Tell me any and everything you want to. I’ll be waiting to take it all in.

Yours,

Gale

[To the left on the bottom, Gale had drawn an open book with an ink pot and a quill. In the middle on the bottom, Tara had been drawn, wings outstretched, lying down, eyes closed, with a small note: (Tara’s sleeping on my desk and she’s adorable!). On the right under his signature, Gale drew a wand with sparkling stars and a curved line of weave making a flourish.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Gale – [Here, she had drawn a wand with stars similar to the one he’d put by his name in his letter]

Thank you for saying that you’ve wanted to talk this whole time. That makes me feel so much better. I never put quill to parchment, but I started countless letters in my head. Like you said, it just never felt right. [After this, Tav drew a scroll, an ink pot, and a quill.]

This does feel like the right path at the right time, but to be honest, Gale…I’m scared. I’m scared to put everything on the table again. With how much I got we got hurt last time we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable with each other, I can’t go through that again. Nor do I want you to go through it again. [Tav had drawn two filled in broken hearts after this paragraph.]

It humbles me to think you feel I’m deserving of good things. Truly. I don’t feel like I am, so I suppose it’s good that someone in this world does. Your encouragement in taking care of myself is unexpected, but ultimately not surprising. That’s just who you are. I’m thankful to hear that you’re taking it upon yourself to improve as well. [Here, Tav had drawn some grapes and cheese on a plate, and to the right of it, a broom and dust pan.]

I fully understand, however, that you can’t forgive me, at least not yet. (I wouldn’t forgive me either.) Hopefully I can begin to earn it over time. I’m not going to sit here and defend my actions with trying to find solace in Mizora’s…experience. It wasn’t even fulfilling, if it makes you feel any better. (It won’t, I know you). It was just tricks of the mind and a devil’s words of promises for things I didn’t even desire. (Perhaps the ‘old me’ would have.) I regretted it immediately, yet it has marked me forever.

But I know that how it left me afterwards is not the point. The point is why I let myself go along with it in the first place. I’ve done a lot of thinking in the last months, especially since the reunion. Let me preface this by saying that I am not shifting the blame. I still made the decision to give in. However, after days and weeks of your near-obsession with the Crown of Karsus, I could see that look in your eyes. You couldn’t stop thinking about the power it could offer. Power that we know all too well would only corrupt you and change you. Then, your meeting with Mystra, introducing her back into your life with her deal to get rid of the orb for the crown… I could feel you slipping away from me.

[On the left side by the words Crown of Karsus, Tav had drawn the crown with a big ‘X’ through it. Near where Mystra is mentioned, she drew a scared ‘Mystra,’ identified as ‘witch bitch,’ being threatened by Tav with a dagger.’]

What I should have done was keep talking to you, seeking reassurance. I should have spat in Mizora’s face and told her to get the fuck out. [In this area, Tav drew herself spitting in Mizora’s face.] I should have sought solace in your embrace, in your words, in your love… But one thing I need you to understand: I was brought up my whole life to be let down. Every success came with a defeat. Every win came with a loss. Every gift came with a sacrifice. You were the most important gift I will ever have in this world or the next. I was positive I was going to lose it, so…I don’t know. I think maybe I wanted to push it from myself first before it was taken outside of my control? Mizora approaching me with her “offer”… She knew exactly what she was doing: giving me an “out” that she knew I would take because I was at my most vulnerable.

For all my accolades being a “Hero of Baldur’s Gate” and savior to many, I clearly didn’t have the strength to stand up to her temptations. I let her use the fact that I have major trust issues to weasel her way into my deepest fears and exploit them. I didn’t have a chance. It doesn’t excuse my actions, but I hope it at least explains them.

I’m running out of parchment. You asked what I’ve been up to. If it’s of any comfort, things are going well enough. I’m eating mostly regularly, I’m keeping up with the chores, and I’m even starting to finally organize some garden space in the yard. I’m trying to spend some time outside every day, and I’ve replaced the wine with various teas. They’re small steps, but they’re steps.

I don’t know if I’ve gotten us closer to any kind of resolution, but hopefully my words can fill in some of the gaps. I look forward to hearing your response.

Thank you, by the way, for giving me something to look forward to again.

I’ve missed you too. Very much so.

Humbly yours,

Tav

[At the bottom left of the page, she drew a cup of tea]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dearest Tav, [to the right of the greeting, it says in smaller writing (I apologize for the condition of this letter. It was rather difficult to write.) The letter is littered with smudges where tears had fallen and letter had been re-written over them.]

As I wrote my last letter and have been pondering your response, it weighs on me just how grave a mistake I also made. The blame for our downfall does not fully rest with you. (Let me finish…)

Feeling like you’re not worthy, like you made too big of a mistake to recover from; you know how familiar I am with those thoughts. Looking back, this means I should have been the one who was there for you the most. Yet I wasn’t. I was the furthest one away.

I agree with you that my anger was justified. I’d felt like I’d been told I wasn’t enough for you, which is exactly what I feared from the beginning. In my mind, you had openly told the entire world that Gale Dekarios, fallen Archmage of Waterdeep, scorned by Mystra herself, could not, in fact, make you or anyone else happy. You had to go find your pleasure elsewhere.

Where my mistake lies is in never stopping to think how much you had to have been hurting in order to find solace in Mizora in the first place. I don’t think I even gave you the chance to confirm you hadn’t been possessed, quite frankly. It’s no wonder your defenses went up immediately. My reaction, while potentially understandable, was absolutely awful.

I am so sorry that I never gave you a chance to talk things through before letting my hurt and rage take over. What I should have done was walk away and screamed into the void instead of at you before hearing any kind of explanation. I suppose I figured there would never be one good enough. Never did I think until recently that I could have possibly had something to do with you feeling pushed in that direction. I should have been more reassuring. I should have given you no reason to doubt my love for you and my dedication to you.

The possibilities that came with the crown had taken over my waking thoughts, and even infiltrated my dreams. Providing an eternal life without conflicts for both you and I sounded like the perfect solution, and I became hyper-focused. You had tried telling me that you were scared, that you didn’t want me to lose my humanity. I just still thought I was smarter and had this whole grand plan all figured out and you would realize it eventually.

[Before the next paragraph is drawn an infinity symbol, a heart nestled into the loops on either side.]

But I didn’t do enough to put your mind at ease. I didn’t help you understand that I wouldn’t have actually left had it come down to choosing between you and the crown. I never, never would have left you, Tav. As I shouted rather rudely before, I only ever truly wanted you. I assumed you knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, so I didn’t spend any time reinforcing it. I let my focus drift too far. Then, I left you scared and alone afterwards with no chance to explain. I, the ex-Chosen and ex-lover of a goddess, from whom he should have learned humility after his hubris, the man to whom you showed so much kindness and understanding and support when anyone else would have run in the other direction, I couldn’t even show a fraction of that back to you.

Taviela, my heart, I am so, so incredibly sorry that I wasn’t there for you. When you pulled me from that portal and later heard my harrowing tale of foolishness and desperation, you stood by me. You took care of me and encouraged me, and I threw that back in your face at the first opportunity. It will be a long time before I can forgive myself for that. But I humbly, honestly, and hopefully ask if you could ever forgive me. I understand if you cannot, but know that I will spend the rest of my life proving myself to you.

Please keep telling me your thoughts, Tav. I want to hear them. I need to hear them.

Repentantly yours,

Gale

P.S. I’m far too emotional at the moment to do many little doodles, but yours warm my heart. Please keep doing them. [A filled in heart was drawn here. He had also drawn a simple version of the wand and stars under his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Dearest Gale, [Across the top of the page was a wand, a wavy line of weave, and small stars.]

I’ve been staring at this parchment for at least an hour, but I haven’t been able to write anything until now. I’m sobbing at your words. Your insight about everything I put you through, the weight of what happened after all your hurts and insecurities from Mystra and the orb, the fear of being inadequate to me… That weight is almost too much to bear. I’ve berated myself for months now for hurting you, but the full impact never hit me until I read it in your words. I want to fall on my knees and cry at your feet and beg for mercy. But how could you possibly ever forgive me? I’m sorrier than you will ever know for allowing you causing you to feel that way again.

Also, to think that you are taking any of this upon yourself so strongly, I really don’t know what to say about that either. I still feel like this is all due to my deficiencies. My weaknesses. My fuck-ups. But I can understand where you’re coming from, wanting to take some responsibility. All I’ll say is that there is nothing to forgive anymore. I hold no more ill will towards you. We both acted like children throwing tantrums, but we were each already pushed to our limits and didn’t stop to think about, well, anything, really.  [Tav had drawn 5 filled in hearts here, along with writing (I don’t know what else to doodle here because I’m also emotional).]

It feels cheap to keep coming back to my upbringing, but it’s an unfortunate reality where I’m concerned. Everything was always a bitter fight of either words or daggers. There was no real “communication” to speak of. There were no “feelings” shared. It was all cruel lessons with harsh punishments. ‘Be a bitch, or get walked over’ was something I told myself a lot. I never truly learned to stop and step back and give things time to breathe. Putting myself in another person’s shoes is something I’ve forced myself to learn, especially during our adventures.

I have a confession to make. When I (literally) ran into you in Waterdeep a few months ago, it wasn’t just happenstance. I’d come there with a purpose. The downward spiral had begun weeks prior and I was nearing rock bottom. I came to look for you. To see if you were possibly even half as miserable as I was without you. I was certain you would be, and that it would give me a reason to approach you. We would be on common ground and might actually be able to talk. [On the right side of the page, Tav had drawn an open book sitting in a puddle of water in the rain. On the pages of the book it said ‘I’m sorry about the books.’]

But then I saw you. You were in the marketplace, smiling, making small talk with the merchants, even laughing with them. You looked full of life. You looked like you were doing just fine – without me. My heart dropped into my shoes and I’d considered just walking away, never letting you see I was even there. But something in me snapped. I apparently just had to get in a couple more digs before I walked away forever. That was childish and unacceptable and I’m sorry I put you in that position. (I don’t blame you one bit for the Hold Person spell, for the record. I deserved it.) [Tav had drawn the symbol for the Hold Person spell here, along with Tav approves.]

Please forgive me, but I’m emotionally spent. I think I’ll wrap this up to send in the morning, go sit on the back porch with a cup of tea, and just think for a while.

Still yours,

Tav

[Along the left side of the bottom of the page, Tav drew a small flower garden. On the right side, a cup of tea.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Darling Taviela, [On the right side of the top of the page was carefully drawn an eternity symbol. Inside each side was a heart – a G written in the one on the left, a T written in the one on the right. Next to it, Gale wrote:] (I’ve been doodling this a lot lately.)

My heart aches for you, for us both. You’re right. There’s nothing to forgive anymore. We were both stretched so far beyond our limits, no wonder we broke down. We both have acted out of turn, we both have put ourselves through the wringer, and we both built impossibly high walls around ourselves. I’m happy to say that I believe we can push those walls down now. I want to move forward in whatever way we can, even if that ends up being as friends (though judging by your comments, it doesn’t sound like that will be the case, but please correct me if I’m reading the situation incorrectly).

I have a confession for you, in light of your revelations regarding our “run-in” in the marketplace. It was all an act to save face out in public. The laughter, the ‘life’ you say you saw in me, the light-hearted interactions – they were all a façade. I was miserable without you, however angry I was. After that interaction, it got even worse. I felt awful immediately, leaving you standing there shivering in the rain. [Gale had drawn a hand getting smacked by a ruler with words in a bubble outlined in sharp angles: BAD WIZARD!] I couldn’t believe that, even though there was some provocation, that I’d still reverted to such a childish response. I sank further into my depressive state. I almost didn’t come to the reunion with our companions either, actually. It felt like more of an effort to get myself put together than I was capable of. Fortunately, Tara snapped me out of it.

Speaking of Tara, I’ve been working on getting her to be more understanding. I’m sure you have noticed that her protectiveness of me overrides any kind of empathetic nature towards anyone who has caused me even a lick of hurt. But she’s come a long way in understanding both sides of our…predicament. I’ll keep at it, for both of our sakes. [A trail of small paw prints was drawn after this.]

I’m pleased to say that I’ve been keeping up with the cleaning, [on the right side of the page, Gale doodled a robed hand holding a sparking wand next to two balls of dust that look like rabbits. Underneath was written, (dust bunnies).] I feel like I finally have a handle on my students and my lesson-planning, and I’ve found joy in cooking meals again. Too much time is being spent grading sub-par assignments in the evenings, I’ll admit, but it comes with the territory. My heart has been all the lighter in the last couple of weeks, and it’s all thanks to you: your words, your patience, and willingness to work on…well, us.

What have you been up to lately? Any more adventuring opportunities coming your way? Are you doing any traveling? I wonder if there’s any chance our paths might cross in the near future.

I’ll admit, my mind has been wandering to thoughts of seeing you again. I miss the warmth of your embrace, the sparkle in your smile, the feeling of home when I look into your eyes – I feel like a part of me has been missing since our falling out.

I was actually thinking… What would you say to coming back to Waterdeep for a proper visit?

Take care of yourself, my darling [a filled-in heart was drawn here]

Gale (no fancy drawing in my name this time. Just me, missing you.) [above this, Gale had drawn a side profile of himself from the chest up, looking down, eyes closed, a tear falling from his eye.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The letters had been going back and forth at a regular, weekly pace. It was about six weeks after the reunion, which already seemed like forever ago. They had come so far, and his words made her realize that she missed him more than she knew was possible.

However, when Tav saw the last question in Gale’s letter, she froze. Her chest tightened and her breath quickened. She got dizzy, her hands shook, and her mind raced, tears threatening to overflow onto her cheeks. She was having a panic attack.

She threw the letter in her top desk drawer, slammed it shut, ran down the hall, and pulled the lever for her shower without bothering to warm the water first. Fully clothed, she stood underneath the cold deluge until her breathing slowed and she could process her thoughts.

The nausea was back. She sat on the floor on a towel and just let the water drip off her. Tucking her knees up to her chin, she stared at the wall and focused on her breathing. She wanted nothing more than for Gale to walk in the room right now, pick her up, and hold her in his lap, caressing her hair and whispering comforting words to her until she felt better. But as much as she wanted to feel his arms around her, to smell his scent, to run her fingers through his hair and more, she was absolutely terrified.

All she could think of as she started rocking back and forth was that she was going to end up hurting him again. She cried and cried until she resigned herself to lying down on the floor and crying herself to sleep, shivering in her damp clothes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week went by and there was no response from Tav. Gale tried to brush it off, attempting to convince himself that perhaps she had gotten a chance to do some traveling, and was running behind sending her letter.

Nine days went by and his resolve started to falter. He replayed every word in his head that he’d written in his last letter. Was he moving ahead too fast? Did he assume too much? Did he push her too far? He ached to see her, to hear her voice, and to comfort her. But he could NOT let himself fuck things up again…

On the tenth day, he sent just a short message in hurried writing, requested for the utmost urgent delivery.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav,

I’m truly, deeply sorry if I’m pushing you too far. You don’t have to answer the last question. We can continue just writing if that’s what makes you comfortable. I’ll do whatever you need, but I cannot, I will not lose you again.

Please, talk to me, my love.

Gale [A filled in heart was drawn after his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sleep never found him that night. He let his brain run through every worst-case scenario it could come up with. Tears were still crawling down his face every so often as he saw the faintest colors of the dawn coming to greet the eleventh day. Thank the gods he had the next couple of days off for Midsummer…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On the afternoon of the twelfth day, Tav’s response arrived. Gale didn’t even go back inside or shut the door. He ripped open the envelope and tried to steady his breathing as his shaky hands held her letter. He let himself take a deep breath and fall back against his door frame as he read:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My precious Gale,

I am so very sorry for the delayed response and for making you worry. I don’t know what came over me, but when I saw you asking to see each other again…I panicked. I had a full-on panic attack, after which, I slept for days. I lost all track of what day it was or how much time had gone by. I kept picking up my quill and the words just wouldn’t come. I’m so sorry. Your words in the message I received today snapped me back out of it. Thank you for checking on me. [A filled-in heart was drawn here.]

Gale, I can’t bear the thought of hurting you again. I’m not saying that I don’t want to see you. Believe me, nothing would make me happier. My dreams of getting to be near you, to hold you again, to be held by you, they are my greatest source of comfort. But we haven’t spent any time together in person since the reunion, and we spent months before that acting like completely different people.

What if we can’t change, Gale? What if seeing each other brings out all the anger and spite again? I can’t forgive myself, even if you have. I don’t know what to say – I can’t lose you again either, I won’t survive it. And I fear that I will become upset by something and fall back into my old ways of dealing with arguments: with juvenile pettiness and venomous words. I’m so scared…

In fact, I’m going to deflect now so I don’t dissolve into another panic attack.

To answer your other questions – honestly, adventuring hasn’t happened in a while. I was being truthful at the reunion when I said I’d been adventuring and helping people. But coming back from Waterdeep is when I started to shut everyone out. My house descended into chaotic messes that I didn’t have the energy to clean, I stopped eating regularly, I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a day, and I slept all the time. I have enough money set aside that I can get away with not working for quite a while, but that won’t last forever.

The gardening is going well now though! I haven’t killed so much as a tomato plant! I’m growing flowers and selling bundles here and there. I’m also growing my own vegetables and some fruits, though I haven’t begun selling those yet. I’m getting the itch to start baking, however… I’ve found a great deal of fulfillment in creating (growing) some kind of life now instead of dwelling on the memories of taking it. [Along the left side of the page, she drew a tomato plant crawling up the side. Along the right, she drew a plate of danishes and a cup of tea.]

I’m so sorry again for worrying you. I just froze because I don’t want you to get hurt. I’ll get this sent to you as quickly as I can, but please tell me your thoughts. I’m hoping your insight can be of some comfort.

With all my heart,

Your Tav

[At the bottom of the letter, Tav drew the same symbol Gale had been doodling on everything he could: the eternity symbol with the hearts in the middle, one with a G, one with a T. Next to it, she wrote:] (I tried… Yours looks much nicer.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My sweet Taviela, [Their infinity symbol with hearts and their initials was on the top right.]

Thank you for explaining the reason for the delay. I completely understand, and I’m sorry to have caused you to panic. If I may offer some encouragement, however, perhaps I can help quiet your heart.

Neither of us are under anywhere near the amount of pressure and stress that we were at the time back in Baldur’s Gate. We are taking care of ourselves now as individuals, fully independent of others, and neither is a crutch for the other. This bodes well for quelling any fears of being too dependent on each other for our own good.

We’ve seen what damage can be done by careless words and actions, and we’ve walked back from that ledge – together. Now we’ll be more aware of the warning signs should we become frustrated with each other again. We’ve talked about what we can do to avoid arguments in the future, like walking away for a breather, should we need to. Lest you have any unrealistic expectations, please remember that we will become frustrated with each other and we will likely have some arguments. That’s only natural for any two beings that have a close relationship. But we have some experience now and wisdom gained. I truly believe that we can be better for each other. We can change. Together. [A filled in heart is drawn here along the left side of the page.]

If you are comfortable thinking about the possibility of visiting, I have a proposition for you. Some simple guidelines that will help keep us in check as we try spending time together again, under completely different circumstances.

-          I will get you set up in a lovely room at The Yawning Portal for one week. The bartender owes me a favor for clearing out some riffraff a few weeks ago. Then you can have a place you feel comfortable retreating to without feeling trapped in my tower, should you wish to get some space.

-          So as to not put too much pressure on either of us too quickly, we can have a date each day, but we don’t spend the entire day together (at least not every day). It may be midsummer, but I still have regular responsibilities with the academy that I need to see to. Besides, that will give us time to individually reflect on our time together and how we’re feeling.

-          At the end of the week, we can talk about how things have gone and what direction we should go at that point. We won’t pressure each other, and we’ll agree that we won’t be disappointed if one person needs more time than the other. Above all, we need to make sure our friendship stays in tact.

So, what do you say? Look! I even got Tara’s stamp of approval! [On the side of the page is an ink pawprint.] (Do you have any idea how much convincing it took to get her to put her paw in ink? I owe her tuna for weeks…)

I won’t pressure you, but if you’re amenable to this plan, we can do this as soon as you’d like – even next week. Having said all that, if you still want to take things slower and keep writing letters for now, I will fully support that decision and be delighted to keep doing so.

If you will allow me, however, I would like to make one last plea: I want to see you, Taviela. I need to see you. My heart aches for you and my arms feel so painfully empty without you in them. I long to curl my fingers into your hair, to hear your contended sighs, to be lit up inside by your laughter, and, when you’re ready, to make love to you and cover you in affectionate, healing kisses until every hurtful word we’ve ever exchanged is erased from memory itself.

I know you’re scared, my darling. But I believe in us. I believe things will be different this time around. I hope and pray to every god and goddess who will listen that you can find it in your heart to take the risk.

Come here to me, my love, and we can keep walking our way forward - together. [A filled in heart is drawn here.]

I eagerly await your reply, whatever it may be.

Yours always,

Gale [A doodle of a wand surrounded by stars is by his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav’s hands trembled. Gods, she missed him so much it physically hurt. Especially now that she knew how much he was missing her as well. Sitting at her desk, she re-read his last full paragraph with tears flooding her vision and heart filling her chest, not to mention a familiar heat between her thighs. She knew at that moment that her desire and her renewed trust in Gale Dekarios FINALLY outweighed her fears. She didn’t even need to think about her response. It was short and sweet:   

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gale, my love, [Their eternity/hearts/initials symbol was drawn on the top right.]

I’ll set out tomorrow by horse from Daggerford and will arrive at the Yawning Portal on Sunday evening around dinner time. I sincerely hope your arms will be waiting for me, because I’ll be rushing into them the moment I see you. [A filled-in heart was drawn in.]

Just don’t be holding a stack of books this time… [ Tav had drawn a doodle of a winking face here.]

Yours always,

Tav

P.S. I doubt we’ll be waiting long for those healing kisses… I know we’re going to space out our time together, but stay with me the first night? Help me “settle in” to Waterdeep? [Tav sketched a set of lip prints in the bottom right.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tears fell from Gale’s eyes, but happy ones this time. He could tell his cheeks were flushed too from her “P.S.”… He laughed at her jab about the books, then folded up the letter and brought it to his lips, kissing the edge she would have folded with her soft hands.

He had planning to do. 

[ryuichirou]

Reply

Time to write replies! A lot of them are about Vil today, but also one about Jadidi…

Anonymous asked:

The recent Vil art took me a minute, but I was kinda horrified as soon as I realized what it meant.

But I also like the yandere implications of it, so I'm torn between fear and semi-amazement.

Hehe, the original fairytale is quite brutal! Disney’s version isn’t even the most brutal, but the idea of heart in a box is still there. I think this beautiful cruelty looks good on Vil.

So I’m glad you feel both fear and semi-amazement! I am very happy to hear that.

Anonymous asked:

...Who's heart do you have in there Vil?

Neige’s, of course <3 And definitely not some wild boar’s because his beloved hunter couldn’t kill Neige <3

Anonymous asked:

any thoughts about vil and his dad (shippy and/or platonic)?

Vil is his daddy’s precious most beautiful most talented most beloved boy in the world <3 !!!!!!!!!

But in all seriousness, for now I’m just delighted by their relationship. Every piece of info we get about them makes me smile, and I love how Vil gets very obviously soft every time he talks about Eric. Twst is once again very good with how it writes different kinds of parents, and I feel like we don’t get a lot of Erics in shows and games. Somehow it feels very refreshing.

In terms of shipping, you know we’re not the ones to shy away from this kind of ships wink wink And Vil gets so cute when he talks about it, and when he was angry that the paparazzi wouldn’t leave them alone was adorable… So everything is possible! But we need to actually sit down and watch them interact first just to see what Vil’s dad is all about not just based on his stories. Yes, it’s the “is he a top or a bottom” thing 😭

thestarlightfae asked:

I sort of did it? Would you mind giving a bit more description as to Vil's positioning when he puts the leg up? Thank you!

I want you to know that in my head you spent all this time in that pose waiting for me to reply, so now I feel extra bad for making you wait… sorry.

To be honest, the pose I was imagining is kind of vague?? I think at first I drew it with intention of Vil lying down under Trey and putting his leg up on his shoulder. But he could also be sitting in front of him while doing so, making it a bit more difficult.

Anonymous asked:

Ryu, words cannot describe how much I love your blog. Every time you post something, regardless if it’s art or if you're answering your asks, it brightens up my day a little bit. You’re feeding us so well with your content that everyone else is too afraid to post about. (What a bunch of pussies, I pity them)

Especially, I adore your Jadidi content cuz I love these two together! I know you haven't posted much about them for quite a while, but I have such a brainrot thanks to your delicious art!

I can't help but imagine Jade luring (somehow) Idia out of his room to the Montro lounge. It’s only the two of them there with the lights low and dimmed, and then before Idia saw it coming; Jade’s bending Idia over Azul's desk in the VIP room and fucking him from behind. I feel like that's how Jade would get back at Azul just to piss him off and on purpose doing it on HIS desk. Maybe he even drugged Idia beforehand? Who knows.

It would be a shame if Azul had forgotten something and had to return to the VIP room only to walk on Jade taking Idia on his desk. I bet even if that were the case, Jade would definitely make eye contact with Azul without stopping and continuing fucking Idia from behind.

That would be so Hooooot 🔥 🤤

Anon! Sorry for replying so late, your message made me very happy, and I kept rereading it every time I sat down to write replies. But today is finally your day lol I am very grateful and happy to hear that you like our stuff so much, despite and because of how weird it is. I’ll never get tired of saying it: it’s all of you who make us keep posting this self-indulgent stuff lol

You are so right about us not posting Jadidi lately. I know we posted a drawing with Idia and all of the mermen recently (which happened after you sent your ask of course), but Jade and Idia deserve more content about just them. I’ll sketch them soon…

The scenario you described really sounds like something Jade would do lol Two birds with one stone: he’ll have fun with Idia AND piss Azul off! Drugging Idia beforehand sounds like a plan at least to make him less nervous and more horny… and maybe more messy as well.

Poor Azul. I don’t know who I envy less, him or Idia. Definitely not Jade though, he’s having fun…

[askfallenroyalty]

Here's some more deleted scene panels that never made it in

sorry there's no captions, there's just too many panels to describe and i'm tired. hopefully i'll have the energy/rememebr to do so tomorrow ):

IM REALLY SAD THIS ONE DIDN'T GET IN. I even drew asriel shutting flowey in a box for this joke to work. There was going to be a visual gag of it being a "soap" box. Haha.

Asgore was originally going to tell Asriel to think of something nice to get his mind off of his panic attack.

Which, while funny, took away the feeling of intense panic the audience and asriel should have been feeling at the time. It just didn't fit the pacing/mood. It also showed that -well, i don't know if this is a legitimate grounding technique or if it'd be read as "its ok just think happy thoughts <3 then ur panic attack would end" which... is not.... how that works. Even if it was only to give Asriel a moment of respite, it's shown as effective until Asgore brings up a bad memory. So. bad comic sequence.

more stuff under the cut

I had a really, really hard time balancing the tone of the scene that is currently happening in the redraw. it's why i'm so behind in my drawings, so i'm only now sketching the next couple month's updates.

This chapter has gone through SO MANY changes. I feel that comes with it being the first chapter to completely diverge from the original tumblr version.

Asriel was originally going to have a very on-the-nose nightmare about Flowey feeling excluded from the family and fearing drowning. Now, the whole darkness/water metaphor for suicidal depression will be introduced when that stuff starts to come into play in chapter 4...

i mean, just to really hammer home how much i had to delete for this: i actually did sketch out the original tumblr version here. I had it all ready before chapter 2 began posting. But as I was finishing the color for the warship section I realized, shoot, I don't wanna repeat it.

When I first made the tumblr version, i was getting burnt out and the characters just became so much... meaner? rude? to each other. some bickering or annoyance is fine but I have a bad habit of going overboard. That's something I hope to correct in the rewrite -and focus more on less drama and more wholesome/loving moments.

(note the above scene is shown not in full. its jumping around a bit)

Even tho I was mostly keeping chapter the same the first time I sketched it for the redraw, I added this scene. The idea was that when the house was on fire, Frisk would of ran off to the right of the house to where you can see Old Home.

There, even tho Frisk can't verbally talk, the two have a nice heart-to-heart. Chara remember Frisk has [spoilers] issues. Chara was going to own up to their bad behavior.

Now well, hm. Chara's got a lot of shit going on. Frisk of course has forgiven them (like they do for everyone in the underground -_- oh frisk...) and it's going to be something that's addressed down the road. for now, they've held hands, and shown solidarity for each other. As kids, they're going to goof around and be buddies and not let the cruddy stuff chara did earlier matter. things are so much less of a big deal when you're a kid.

[lamuliz]

Hello, I wrote an image description for the comic you drew on the global strike. I wanted to message you to ask if there's any details left out or you would like to edit something, and if you could add it to the alt text of the original post so it's more accessible. Thank you for your time.

[id: digital comic of a person laying flat on their back amongst rubble, their eyes lifeless and glasses broken. the text says, "I'm dying."

"Cute cat": a fluffy cat stares up, residing inside scratchy, rough walls and floors.

"Barbed wire.": two people look up a wall with barbed wires, a ball caught neatly in between.

"Is my life flashing before my eyes?" is written out in white text against a black background.

"Severed hand": the person looks down, their white shoes peeking at the bottom. in front of them, a severed hand lies on the ground, blood splattered from beneath the rubble.

"Crying baby": a parent smiles to comfort their crying child, behind them, a doctor walks past.

"Smug soldier": a soldier stands calmly, their eyes blocked out by black scribbles.

The remaining panels are in plain text, reading: "I'm sorry, body. I'm sorry arms, legs, eyes and heart. I couldn't give you enough. They didn't let me give you enough."

In red text: #strikeforgaza

Grey text: #freepalestine

/end id]

In my opininon, you could:

Mention that the person in the first panel is a child

Maybe change the word "inside" for the second panel, the cat is outside of the building on a sidewalk

Mention that the people in the third panel are children

On the fifth panel, the shoes aren't white, its just that everything is b&w so they might appear white. You could keep this one in but the color isn't really important. You could mention that the severed hand belongs to a toddler/child.

On the sixth panel, you could mention that they're sitting on the hospital floor

For the seventh one, the soldier in this case refers to people who serve the cruel Zionist regime, so maybe "calm" wouldn't be the best adjective to use. You could mention that the soldier has their hand resting on the butt of their rifle, looking down.

I appreciate your efforts to make my comic more accessible, thank you. I hope this helps <3

Also If I can add the final version of this alt text to my post please tell me how to, I haven't done that before on tumblr 🙏

[ukusreticence]

Hi <3 just wanted know is there any difference between Side A and side B's eldritch forms? and how do you draw those form(s)? I also just wanted to clarify:

Side A is the sparkly cosmos one, mainly introverted, did not go kaiju in heaven (?)

Side B is more shy than introverted, kinda more social, went kaiju in heaven (?)

Also, what's your artfight account? Thank you!

holy flip a legitimate ask about my characters aaa

artfight account is serinuku

the rest of the character stuff under the cut

-

Side A doesn't actually have any "Eldritch" form because they're not eldritch! They're actually more robotic/mechanical than eldritch ahah. I have played around with the thought of them having a more biblically accurate angel looking form but none of the concepts I made appeal to me so I kinda just put it on hold.

The main difference between Dyrkethiel Side A and Side B is that while they're both different from typical angels in their own way, One is mostly robotic and closer to an android while the other is a literal eldritch abomination.

Also yes Side A is the sparkly cosmos one who wishes he can snap your neck for bothering him (all bark no bite he's just easily agitated) and he didn't go kaiju but he did do a thing. If i get over my embarrassment of my own concepts/ideas I may share what thing he did. All I will say is that BOTH versions aren't particularly liked by God for different reasons. All I will say is that this reason is one of the reasons i ended up coming with Estorciel's existence ahaha

colored coded details/extra bits below and the color correct and clothed version as well from the first Dyrkethiel post. (Ignore the proportions please i am sobbing over them but already wrote all the text ack) This is technically just their non humanoid form but eh close enough to eldritch. The mechanical pattern might not stick and sorta came up with it on the fly

Side B, i'm still experimenting with their personality but yeah sounds about right. The whole kaiju in heaven/turning into their true form thing was mostly self indulgent but it depends on the universe you plop them into and the events. Altho in theory if they did actually go into their true form, chances of many lesser angels having their minds break so there's only husks is actually incredibly high which is why I only play around with the idea for self indulgent purposes.

So, guess the answer to that is whatever you feel like doing since I made both of these to put into other universes, I'm bad at coming up with my own completely unique ones ahaha.

Drawing their comprehensible form is kinda hard to explain since its just... doodling. doodling mostly. But their true form is actually a lot easier than it looks.

i usually then just absolutely flood the picture with squiggles or lines depending on how complex i wanna be. For certain things I just do the first two tendril layers.

I will say that i like, don't have a consistent design for the tendril placements and such, it's just a bunch of lines and squiggles. Just kinda a lot of branching too. Same with the gradients and stuff. Reason this one is not as detailed as this one is because i used a really massive canvas and brush for that picture and a LOT of repeating step two.

im so sorry if this is not what you meant when you asked how i drew them pfff. didnt quite get the question but at the same time my head is very very empty right now.

[thatonecrookedsmile]

*kicks the front door with all the strength I have*

WAKE UP, CHILDREN. I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH.

Hey there IRIS fans. It's been a while. More than 3 months to be exact. I came once again to offer you my gifts. Behold…..breadcrumbs! :D

Yeah, that's all I have at the moment. I'm sorry.

I was reflecting on the idea of posting things that are more....small? Don't just post finished drawings. Maybe WIPs or, sketches, or in the case above, a doodle! Basically, I don't need to ONLY post finished drawings. Or drawings. Sometimes I can just. Post words, you know. I had the realization about this a while ago when I remembered that I'm on Tumblr. I can post (almost) anything here without limiting myself. Now, will I fulfill this? I don't know. Maybe I'll do that, or I'll just post it when I have a drawing ready to post. I don't promise anything lol.

Anyway, IRIS! I made this little doodle of Goliath while I was out of the house. I only drew his Pre-Explosion version once and it was in that Transmission 3 drawing. As a joke too. So I tried to do something a little more serious. This time…he has a face! I thought it turned out good. I think I found a good way to do his hair too. I decided to color it (and do a light digital lineart over it) to make it more pleasant. Simple, but it looks nice! (I'll leave the normal scribble unedited at the end of the post) Also, I know that in the only art we have of P.E Goliath it doesn't show him with irises and pupils in his eyes. I drew them here because I thought it would be cool.

Next stop is to practice drawing his body. I have to learn how to draw more muscular bodies. Goliath has to live up to his name (and he deserves the muscles tbh)

It goes without saying that I did this after watching the new chapters of Story of Vegala. And speaking of that: i'm gonna be honest with you: I think this is my favorite part of the IRIS story/lore drops posted so far.

It's quite intriguing to see the very story that happened before everything we've seen so far. It's also nice to receive what I've wanted for a while: Tyrant and Fate Lore. It's good to have more information about two characters that we've known (more or less) for a long time now. Especially their origins (broader origins than just *the first beings that walked the Earth* or *beings that came from distant worlds in search of the emblem*)

SOV also makes me excited for other things. Like, obviously, HOAA:R. Releasing soon! December is knocking on the door, you know. But I also really want to see Jaws of Vegala now. And whatever happens in the story that takes place after GT.

So again, SOV is currently my favorite part of the lore, I believe. The anguish of waiting for the next episodes this past week was real.

I'm talking too much once again, SHIT. Yeah, Pre-Explosion Goliath. He deserves the world (He's NOT a monster, he's just BIG and STRONG, and needs a functioning family *cries*)

I don't know when I'll do my next Big Piece related to IRIS. I had something in mind but I lost the will. But I was thinking about doing something related to Solitude for a while. Hold this thought,then. Until then, I'll sketch Tyrant next. Because I like his official design.

Also, here is the unedited scribble:

[nih-nih]

I'm really just a silly who love drawing her favorite characters...

...and their genderbent versions, and boobs too I guess... I don't bite, I swear, but I'm bad at starting conversations, so feel free to talk to me hehe (●'◡'●)

Below is some ramble about my drawing journey ~

I have to thank a friend of mine, who I met during university. She was the one who helped me to find joy in drawing, taught me how to draw anatomy more correctly (I'm still bad at it but I now can see where I do wrong, even though I cannot fix those problems yet lol). I learned a lot watching her drawing in our classes together (we really did not pay attention to class.....). Yeah, she was also the one who pulled me into Hetalia....!

I drew some commissions during this time with dirt cheap prices like $3-$10 for full colored pictures that took me at least 2-3 days to complete lol. Here is the very first commission I made in 2016, I still like it very much (I nuked my dA account so yeah, I have no idea who was the customer for this one...I'm sorry ; - ;; )

My happiest moment was when I gave customer two sketch options and they said they wanted both lol....

Here are almost all of the commission I've made

Then after Uni, I went to work and was severely burned out...I did drew some arts for HalBarry but it was 5 years ago (wow time flies...). After them, I drew very little to the point of none. It must have been at least 4 years since I was last serious about drawing.

Until the beginning of this year, I got to work from home, yay, I finally have time and pick up my pen again. At this point, I have to thank Patalliro and BanMara for making me pick up drawing again xD!!! Then I fell back into the old pit (yes it's you ZeroX), reading their doujin, seeing all the wonderful artworks and fanfics about them on Pixiv, I suddenly want to contribute too. I love them so I want to draw them out, I want to materialize my plots for them...I want to force people to look at my creations so I post them online haha-

Though my job right now is kinda unstable (good pay for single adult though) and I'm in early mid life crisis of what I really want to do with my life...I like my current situation, it's like my dream job and situation, but as I said, it's not stable, it could end anytime. And at my age (I'm not THAT old but the job market is really harsh where I live), it's really hard to find a new job, but oh well, I guess thing is as good as it gets, I hope teehee

[daemion]

Hi! :)

I'm daemion (he/it 22) literally a cat in real life unfortunately sorry

trans (T💉since 3/21/23) and bi lol

I post art sometimes and make nonsense posts.

if i tag something with a name (ex. "david") its about one of my characters, not a fandom tag or a real person.

My interests/hobbies: Writing, drawing, comics/manga, and Video games (splatoon, balatro, slay the spire, minecraft, terraria, etc.).

dni: terfs, transphobes, etc. i block people !

My projects:

+: My main project. Currently on my tenth draft of it that makes pretty significant changes to the plot, structure, and characters. It's about a group of young adults trying to find out what happened to two of their friends who went missing.

I really like + and i enjoy talking about it more than any other project. I've been working on it since late 2015 so there are a lot of different versions of it. The most important drafts (ones I talk about the most) are draft 2, 7, 8, 9 and the most current one 10. Draft 6 is also relevant because it is the worst version that has written content. Drafts 1, 3, 4, and 5 most exist as notes and art, draft 1 is entirely physical comics I drew in 2015, so I don't have much to say about them.

If you're curious about any specifics about the project, please feel free to ask questions about it! I'm currently trying to motivate myself to write out comprehensive character information and make full designs for a lot of the characters.

When talking about specific aspects of + drafts I try to tag the draft (example: draft 9 +) and any characters discussed. This is mainly for me and a lot of them are contextualized fully because they're for me, but if you wanna look you can :)

Characters: David, Chris, Valentine, Eli, Clementine, Madi, Olive, Jay, Jaxson, Evan, Vincent, Vanessa, and a few more, but the main ones you'll be hearing about on my blog are the first 5 listed.

She Saw: My comic based on an old draft of +, draft 2. A 3 and half part long story about a lesbian who finds the dead body of one of her best friend's boyfriends and gets sucked into a conflict involving that, all the while experiencing high school and seeing horrific visions. What is complete of it is posted on tumblr and DA as well as a few other comic sites? I believe. If you're interested its @shesawcomic, I haven't worked on completing it since 2019.

If your curious about the + connection, every character in She Saw has a direct analog in draft 2 + character. The main character, who's name isn't revealed until the end of the current part, is Veronica (now Madi) from +, Faith is Valentine, the unnamed boy is Daemion (now David), Terrance is Chris (arguably also Eli, they are interchangeable in draft 2), Mary is Mary, Kate is Kathy. There was an additional character who was not revealed at the time I stopped writing, and was the only character without a + analog, though her situation could be based on a number of characters I've written before. Everything I write is derivative of itself.

Characters: Her (shesaw), him (shesaw), Terrance, Faith, Mary, Kate. (All of them got finished refs this summer :D)

WWW: New project. A comic based on an old draft of +, draft 2, 3, and 4. Unlike She Saw, which sought to recreate the high school segment of draft 2 (a, if I am remembering correctly, 16 page long section) WWW seeks to replicate and add on to the main plot of draft 2, taking into consideration traits added to the characters after that draft. The comic is about Cici who lives in the middle of nowhere on a dairy farm separated from the rest of society until a woman named Juliet comes and helps him escape. Juliet, a woman obsessed with obscure religious groups, practices, and magic, convinces Cici help her work towards her goal of achieving immortality. Unfortunately, when they do achieve something, it's not a glamorous as Juliet described it to be. - WWW is an abbreviation of a test/temporary name that might not stick.

Similar to She Saw, WWW characters also has connections to + characters, but they're really obvious in my mind so i'm just choosing to have that be a funny thing that people who know + characters would notice.

Characters: Cici, Juliet, Sammy.

Seagull: Another newer project. A comic/short story about a half wolf half human man who's sent to work and live on a "lighthouse" in the middle of the ocean to keep watch for "something in the water". He quickly discovers that his lighthouse has attracted a strange angel that resembles the seagulls.

Characters: Jupiter, Seagull (haven't named him yet), Coral

For the 3 projects that are not + listed above, I'm happy to answer any questions! WWW is my main focus aside from +, She Saw is in limbo, and Seagull is kind of a side project.

[ray-the-fanatic]

seeing leosagi trend on twitter makes me so happy though at the same time i kinda avoid it cuz a majority of it is yu/ichi usagi that's with leo and i don't wanna ruin the fun of the people who enjoy the samurai rabbit show, i tried getting into the show a month ago but it just... did not catch my eye the same way rise did

maybe it's cuz the show's not technically about the og usagi or the fact that i struggle to care about cast and story itself cuz it feels... boring to me? idk, it's just hard for me to get into shipping rise leo with yu/ichi when i'm not really interested in the character or show (yu/ichi i mean), esp when i'm more attached to everyone's version of rise usagi

sorry if this seems a bit ranty ^^;;;

Okay  1. I was answering another ask when I saw this and deiced nope I need to answer this! 2.no so yes let us talk about this because i see you I feel you and get what you mean as well.3. Sorry this is gonna be a lil long.

Okay so I recalled when they originally announced doing the samurai rabbit show and I was excited cause Usagi content. Forgot about it till finally getting back into tmnt after being convinced to finally watch rise cause o didn't when it originally aired. Which sent me down a rabbit hole obsession on usagi in time for the Samurai Rabbit show coming out. And to make this easier when I say Usagi I’ll be talking about Usagi Miyamoto and Yu/ichi for Usagi Yu/ichi yes I know they have the same first name that's the point it’s just for clarification here.

Now I do not mind the show it’s fine for what it is and I think Yu/ichi is cute and interesting but I have a love hate thing for the show. I spoke to a mutual on tiktok about this and I know I made a post on my thoughts about the show. I like the concept of Usagi descendant  Yu/ichi trying to become a samurai in a future time period when Samurai aren’t around, because he idolizes Usagi. Only to find out Usagi is a bad guy so he tries to clear their name. Despite that set up its not really what we get and Yui/chi didn’t really clear their name im still annoyed about that. I do still enjoy Yu/ichi mostly the design I even drew some inspiration from it for my own rise usagi because I liked the bangs. And I do find he and rise leo could be fun buuuuuuuut He is not the Usagi I want.

See as I have gotten more into Usagi’s own series I have just really come to love the character even more and love the idea of him in rise compared to a cross over with samurai rabbit. I just love the idea of the conflict in personality I just want him to be a grounded samurai who is emotionally in touch. Like especially with Leo going into his role as a leader I just love the idea of that being when he meets Usagi because of how special that friendship is in the 03 series. Besides I enjoy the Lore of Usagi Yojimbo and would love tidbits of it in rise uwu

Well I will still share and enjoy ship art of both cause i’m greedy and like Leosagi I do agree with people that the two should have different ships names. I saw seabunny mention for rise leo and yu/ichi and thats cute. But yeah well the sudden boom on twitter been nice to see and I have a friend who prefers that version simply cause yu/ichi is cannon over a rise usagi is. Thats fine though I also feel there another reason for the push on yui/chi i’m just being skeptical though so i wont say that in this. I just personally perfect Usagi myself over yui/chi. Again theres nothing wrong with him it’s just well I feel hes getting more praise than what is earned really. Based off the show am I a fan of it? eh I like it i don't know if its something i’ll re-watch I wish the writing was better I kind wanna do a fix it fic for it but that's a lot of work compared to one shots lol

TL;DR: Well I dont mind yu/ichi as a charater when it comes to the leosagi thing esp for Rise I’m in the side of Usagi Miyamoto over Usagi Yui/chi. And feel they should have different ship names also 03/2012 usagi > over any other usagi uwu

[livewireprojects]

The 12 Pains of Baconmas(I'm sorry for the mess)

So my first online friend after the ones I made on YouTube started to do their own things & I started to be active on old DA was someone that currently goes by Halotherebuddy.(Links to their carrd & BlueSky pages) They're not on DA anymore & some of their other accounts are abandoned or deleted.

I use to draw stuff based on things they were into with characters I had interacting with their's. One of the shows they liked was Monster & Robot about two characters of the same names in a world of monsters & robots were everyone likes bacon. Well they have a holiday called Baconmas that thanks to having not seen stuff in years I dunno if this replaces Christmas or if it's another holiday similar to it.

We thought it'd be funny to make a parody of the "12 Pains of Christmas" by Bob Rivers with Baconmas. Here are the images I made for the thing since I decided to post my old Sonic related ones.

I want to mention that this was back when I made crazy crossover shit. This went from only Monster and Robot characters & OCs to adding Homestuck & semi unrelated OCs.

I was originally going to give random info here & there but I realized the pictures are really confusing so I tried to describe what was going on. I'm going to repeat this but this is old, I don't remember the context of some of these nor some OCs(that belong to Halo) this is due to the fact while I'm in contact with Halo we don't talk on a daily basis & we don't talk about Monster & Robot anymore. I only saw like one or two episodes & Halo knew more than me.

I tried to scrap together context & info from my DA posts for these but they don't help much cause they seem to act like I'd still remember everything or something.(Also some laziness & tiredness was involved)

I'm sorry if this confuses anyone trying to look at this, this is just a post showing off past memories. A lot of the mess comes from younger me not fully being able to handle working on this but wanting to finish it up & the fact younger me thought it'd be funny to add in crossover stuff & my weird amalgamation things which adds to confusion.

These were all originally posted to DA in December of 2012(Apparently posted December 20th & December 21st)

For some context Mecha(the person you see at the top in the first two pics & rigging the lights) is Halo's OC, she's suppose to be married to Gart(Robot's older brother). Snow(the person holding a stick in the first pic) was my OC that for some reason I imagined being Mecha & Gart's adopted kid. The character in the third pic that has no idea where they are is a troll version(apparently named Allien) of Snow that was my one of Homestuck OCs. At some point I stopped using them & they became my OCs Kiku & Sammy.

I used semi gijinka Gart(he's at the top of the third pic) because I think I got tired of drawing him & drew him in human style. I made a comic that made context to it were an explosion while saving Snow led to Snow going blind & Gart having to be put in a new body.(This incident made him care about Snow as he only cared about Mecha in the past)

Page 1:

Mecha giving the day

Snow & some fankids looking for fireworks. According to the description it's a fankid named Izzy & her friends. Going off a later pic Izzy is likely one of Mecha & Gart's kids.

Page 2:

Troll Mecha & Mecha annoyed at rigging the lights for the factory

Still having trouble with lights, Snow is messing with a stick with a pet marf

Page 3:

Humanoid Gart listing the third thing

A drunk cop, Mecha still pissed along with a confused troll

Still looking for the firewood, Alucart(who in the middle pic below I misspelled as Al'cart) climbed a tree

The guy at the bottom of the middle pic's name is Wrent, I think he's meant to be Mecha & Gart's kid. Also I messed up the guy being mentioned's name his name is Alucart not Al'cart.

Allen is another OC that got a mix of things I was interested in at the time & is technically Snow as well. Like Snow & the HS ver he later became Kiku & Sammy. I think he might have been meant to be the "human" version of the troll OC cause there was meant to be a human ver & troll ver.

I got really tired at some point while working on all of this so things got lazy over time.

Page 1:

John(from Homestuck did the bucket prank on Gart & I'm near by

Monster & Alucart dealing with Baconmas cards, Alucart is I think messaging Snow. I dunno why but I kind of liked him & sometimes drew Snow being interested in him.

Mecha is getting even more pissed, the cop is still drunk & Izzy had to get one of her siblings(Wrent) to get Alucart out of a tree. Snow knows this won't end well.

Page 2:

Gart getting hit with a bucket, guessing I did that

For some reason light bulbs at Robot's work(a bulb factory) are exploding

Snow was asked to help & ended up drawing a certain game symbol that Alucart recognizes. Not sure how Snow managed to draw this since he can't see.

Mecha decided to call it a night, drunk cop & I dunno why Jane & Roxy from Homestuck are here

Wrent & Allen mention that the scene for searching for firewood is on standby due to Alucart breaking his leg

Page 3:

I don't know what the context for the character that has a "G" instead of "g" is about, I want to guess another fankid or chibi/kid Gart.

Halo's OC Tiki distressed about seeing her family

Normal Gart dealing with explosions in front of Robot. Robot dealing with Gart's Christmas cards, I dunno who is helping him with them I think she might be Aris but I dunno.

I gave up drawing the bar for the day

Mecha getting Snow prepared to go out into the cold instead of working on the lights

I ran out of space & decided to make a joke about it

Snow, Alucart, Wrent & some others helping with cards along within the middle at the bottom right Alucart losing at rock, paper, sissors.

Also the static is connected to Allen, I was complaining about Firework CS3 in the DA description cause it was hard to work on compared to when I use to use ImageReady CS.

Page 1:

Gart getting tired

Perry dealing with cybernetic charities

Tiki distressed, Robot & Gart(humanoid again) hiding from the exploding bulbs

Snow, Alucart, Izzy & others helping with cards. Drunk cop again

I think Gart showed up to either take Mecha home or see how she was doing & she's pissed. Meanwhile the kids decided to look elsewhere for firewood after Alucart recovered.

Page 2:

Gart wondering why he hears a radio(god teir mode Allen appearing) & then spit taking at Izzy wanting shit

Gijinka Perry & Tiki still scared, also more lights exploding

Alucart helping with cards again & I have no idea who this cop is, the DA description(which isn't helping) says he's a cop which is the only thing I know about him

Mecha is getting pissed again. Izzy, Emma(no idea who that is, haven't interacted with these characters in years) & Alucart are doing rock, paper, sissors & Alucart lost.

Page 3:

Gart having a bad feeling about something(or someone behind him he hasn't noticed yet)

Snow & Alucart trying to find a parking spot to go get firewood, for the decription on DA I apparently forgot he had a broken leg.(Also for anyone confused hot air balloons or at least air ships are common ways to travel in this show)

I apparently made a flashback scene for an excuse for the annoying kid, I also realized Izzy isn't a Gart x Mecha fankid after all.(The kid annoying him is Izzy as a kid)

I got really lazy at this point. Perry, Tiki & more lights.

Robot is helping Monster with the cards, Mecha learns Gart left her blinking lights & Alucart has no idea what aisle to go down. This was also during a time were I didn't fully understand heghts so Snow despite being Alucart's age is shorter than he should be.

I think at this point there was so much the only way to put everything in was by circle panels

Page 1:

Gart running for his life cause Allen scared him

I make a joke about Baconmas traditions, more charity stuff, Alucart got something that should come with batteries but doesn't, Snow got a new hat & more parking issues.

Younger Izzy panicking, Tiki wrapped up at home panicking, drunk needs toilet paper & more exploding lights. Also Gart gets forced to do the rest of the Christmas cards.(Apparently they're not all his they're his family's list & I guess Robot got stuck with one half & Monster helped him)

A past version of my self-insert Sonicsona & a kind of familiar running off to get Knuckles supplies for rigging the lights. For context I use to sometimes go by Izzy cause I thought it was interesting.

Karkat is here for some reason.

Page 2:(Final page)

For some reason Allen was able to disguise himself by going into an older form.(This was oddly inspired by Hana from Ojamajo Doremi, I stopped using this idea at some point)

I don't remember the context(at this point any context I use to know is long gone along with knowing who most of the OCs are), I got lazy again & for some reason John from Homestuck is here.

Monster & Mecha notice the drunk cop, this is the only reason I know he's a cop. Gart dealing with younger Izzy on a sugar rush. Perry got forced to help with donations.

Blaze worried about her in-laws, Eggman & Sonic hiding from exploding lights & Gart gives up on the cards.

Italy(from Hetalia) can't find a parking spot & Japan(also from Hetalia) wishes he hadn't been riding with Italy. Also I know this is out of order.

Anime Kirby with Lololo & Lalala needing help with rigging the lights while Mecha gave up on rigging the lights so is getting for some reason sought after firewood while telling Gart to stop bothering her.

For some reason I added Keroro into this.

Sorry for making everyone that decided to read this train wreck. As fun as it was to draw at the time & as nice as it was to go down memory lane this is a confusing mess without context/inside jokes

[destinylordoffreaks]

Batch 3 of my art of Iris

Sorry for not post yesterday it got a little hectic around here

Anyways here we have my first and second attempt to drew Iris completely digitally ultimately I decided that wasn’t really for me. I like to start with a sketch and then draw on top of it instead  do you know these pictures were ever appropriately finished as you can tell by the fact that there are color swatches and sketches in references all over the pictures still 

Then we have a headshot of Iris that I did, and two different colored and versions one that was done with markers a mixture of copic markers. I got on sale and some chameleon markers and then you have. a digital art version which turned out much better. Still kind of like the way the marker one looks though it didn’t turn out half  bad. 

Then we have this lovely picture of Iris on the beach at sunset I don’t really know how to categorize this one but it is my favorite picture of iris I’ve ever drawn. It’s literally the lock screen on my phone she just looks so pretty I don’t really know what happened with the marker sketch but it is a mess and I kind of hate it, but the digital art one perfect 👌

And then finally, we have her latest design. Unfortunately, the pose i chose doesn’t show off either of her tattoos, so oops I still really like the way it turned out anyway, I also changed up the way I color her eyes. I had been doing them ro have this sort of cloudy look to them as you can see in the other photos, but I decided I just didn’t like that look for her a lot of blind people don’t look blind, so I wanted to stick with that for Iris Instead 

As you can see, Iris has come along way since day one  maybe I’ll have to do some of those my OC has pictures to let you guys get to know them a little better

would you guys like that?