#sorry for making this a million words long lmao. hes just such a guy

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

[wip!] the art & science of parenting || jay park

a/n: hellaur everyoneeee here's a lil summary & drabble into another wip i'm working on rn,,,i had this idea in the back of my head for SO incredibly long (im talking since 2021 pls) and decided to finally go for it :') so here's a lil peek for the time being to prove i'm still alive heh. i hope you guys like this concept,,,idk why but i really envisioned jay in this trope maybe because i plan on making it very fun & lighthearted but mixed in with some serious & angsty tones...we shall seeeee....you know i love my college!aus and e2l!aus heheh anyways saur sorry im yapping now! lmk what you think & if you want to be tagged !!

genre: jay x female!reader, fluff, comedy, college!au, enemies to lovers!au, parenting!au (parenting a robot baby LMAO), sum angst maybe, both reader & jay are smartasses who don't know how to communicate and confront their feelings , also a bit of photographer!jay :')

summary: The Art & Science of Parenting 101 (PSY1009) – In this interactive course, students will explore the psychological, social, and biological foundations of parenthood. Through a mix of theory and hands-on practice, you'll master the art of raising a simulated baby—aka the 'robot child.' Late-night feedings, tantrum taming, and crisis control are all part of the deal. What you didn’t expect to be part of the deal? Getting paired with Jay Park—the last person you’d trust to raise, well, anything. You’re pretty sure he couldn’t even take care of a pet rock. Now, you’re stuck co-parenting this robot baby together for 40% of your final grade.  Warning: Sleep deprivation is guaranteed. And maybe, just maybe, some unexpected feelings for your disaster of a partner. Good luck!

longer drabble under cut! <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

"Y/N and Jay."  

Wait. What?  

Your head snaps up so fast it's a miracle it didn't pop off your neck and roll away.  

You blink. You must have misheard.  

"Y/N and Jay," Professor Kim repeats as if she could read your confused expression, voice too nonchalant for the life-wrecking news she's about to deliver: "You two are partners."  

The words hit you like a bus. No, not even. The words hit you like a bus driven by a T-Rex that flips over, crashes into a building, and explodes into a million ashy pieces. And there you are—standing right in the middle of the wreckage, somehow still alive to suffer through every second of it—while Jay, smug as ever, whips around in his seat to face you.  

And of course, there it is: that look of his that screams 'This is going to be so much fun for me, and so much pain for you.' 

"Guess we're parents now, Y/N!" Jay chimes, his voice dripping with so much sarcastic enthusiasm you swear he just got handed an Oscar for Most Annoying Human. If that tone were a substance, you'd bottle it up and use it as insect repellent. On him. Repeatedly.  

You blink at him, you're sure—you're praying—this has to be some elaborate prank. Maybe Jay bribed Professor Kim with his rare attempt at turning in an assignment on time just to mess with you. Or maybe the universe just hates you and this is your karma for stealing your roommate's last ramen packet that one time a year ago.  

But no, Professor Kim keeps rattling off other pairs like it's business as usual, as if your entire academic career and sanity isn't currently being flushed down a metaphorical toilet, while you sit there, paralyzed, your brain rapidly melting into a useless puddle from the sheer thought of being paired with him.  

"What's wrong, Y/N?" Jay teases as he leans over the back of his chair towards you. "You don't want to play house with me?"  

You narrow your eyes at him, mentally wielding your imaginary bug spray like it's a holy weapon. "I don’t," you reply flatly. "In fact, I’d rather perform open-heart surgery on myself with a plastic spoon than co-parent with you." 

Jay’s eyes light up as his hand goes to his heart. "Aw, you really know how to make a guy feel special. This is why I like our little relationship, you know?" 

"Relationship?" You scoff loud enough to make the people sitting three rows behind you to glance in your direction. "The only thing we have in common is a shared oxygen supply." 

"See, that’s the spirit," he says, turning back to face the front like he didn't just ruin your life. And somehow, that pisses you off even more. Is it his voice? His stupidly perfect hair? The fact that he breathes in your general direction? At this point, he could literally sneeze, and it would still feel like a personal attack.

Is it too late to switch majors? Or schools? Maybe even countries? Surely, restarting your entire college career as a super senior would be better than spending the next six weeks parenting with Jay. Jay Park, who has probably never held anything more fragile than a Red Solo Cup.  

Jay Park, who is just sitting there, all calm and collected, clearly loving every second of your misery.  

While you're frozen in pure, unadulterated horror.  

Your grade? Plummeting as we speak.  Your robot baby? Probably going to need therapy by day two.  And you?  

You're screwed. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

decided to go for a longer sneak peek than usual bc im very excited about this one heh :) i also changed up my title image formatting..trying out smth new !!!

lmk if you want to be tagged!

<3, addie

[hotwritergf]

eddie or steve with alternative!reader, like face piercings, black makeup, allat stuff

and nsfw or not but they would just be so smitten and follow them around and nod dumbly to whatever reader says bcus theyre so pretty and scary looking

<33

- 🦴

Belly button piercings. Steddie x female reader. Smut. Blurb.

I’m so sorry this is basically not what you asked for but I tried!! Hope this is okay! I really got in ‘the zone’ and wrote this all in one lmao!

You first noticed them when you were working, it was a Thursday afternoon, and you were waiting for your next appointment to arrive. Your client wanted a belly button piercing, something you’d done a million times in your job as a body piercer, it was second nature to you now. Especially since you have so many metal adjustments to yourself too, several facial piercings that happen to catch people’s eyes. You get complimented on your vertical labret often, but your favourite was the piercing that only you were allowed to see at the moment, single life really was keeping you from excitement.

They stood shyly in the doorway, the dark haired boy seemingly more confident than the brunette. He stood a little taller, had some ear piercings himself and as he took off his jacket, handing it to the other guy, you noticed his tattoos. You had a few of your own, some of which you’d actually given yourself. The long haired guy fiddled with his rings, he basically had one on each finger, the skull one catching your eye the most. It was cool, you make a mental note to see if you can find one of those for yourself.

The more metal looking of the men spoke, “Hi. I’m Eddie. I’m here for my piercing?” He had a great voice, he definitely was confident like you had expected. You offer him a friendly smile and show him out back to your studio after taking his payment, giving him his consent form and running him through the aftercare. “Can my boyfriend come too?” He questioned shyly, holding the brunette man’s hand behind his back. You nod and laugh, assuming he can’t be afraid of needles if he’s got so many tattoos. “Follow me, both of you are welcome, there’s always room for an emotional support person. Even if you are a pretty metal head or a…” You stood still and looked him up and down. “Frat boy?” You laugh, hoping to get the same reaction from them, it always helped to make jokes to ease your clients nerves.

In the kindest possible way they looked stupid, like they’d seen a ghost. Eddie’s jaw had dropped, he’s practically drooling at the compliment and his boyfriend? His cheeks are bright red. He nods dumbly, like every single thought in his pretty head had been knocked out by your comment.

“I don’t need!- whatever. This is Steve.” Eddie shakes his head and chuckles at your joke. “Thank you for letting me watch, I kinda wanted to see how you do this whole piercing thing, I’m tempted to get one myself.” Steve spoke finally, his voice a lot softer than Eddie’s. His face was flushed, embarrassed by his own words.

You mark up Eddie’s belly button, making sure the lining you drew was straight and offer him a look in the mirror. As he stands upright, staring at the pen marks on his midriff you notice them for the second time that day. But it wasn’t just them, it was how they looked at you. Their eyes followed you, ever since they stood hunched over in the doorway of the waiting room. Their eyes never left you, dancing around your face and more recently, your pants.

You’d been ogled over before, sort of part and parcel of the job. Men had come into your studio just to ask you if you had any “naughty” piercings or assume you must be freaky in bed because you’re tatted and pierced. But you didn’t mind the way they were looking at you. Almost like you were an enigma, a paradox.

“Stevie here’s acting scared but don’t let him fool you, he likes a bit of pain.” Eddie giggles over his own words whilst Steve shoots him a look, giving him daggers. You noticed the way Steve blushed again, it’s adorable really. His cheeks flushed at everything. “Is that so? Well the belly button piercing is just a little pinch really, the clamp is the worst part. Just breathe through it and it’s over. I promise, I’ll be gentle. To you that is, might have to be a little more rough with this one huh? He seems insistent on embarrassing you doesn’t he, sweetheart?” You motion to Eddie, wiggling the capped needle around in your fingers. Steve threw his head back in laughter, squeezing Eddie’s hand in his own, “t-thanks.” He stutters through his words, you could definitely see this guy being a submissive. His entire nature is submissive. Your mind escapes you as you imagine what he’d look like tied to your bed. Would Eddie join you in dominating Steve or would you have them both at your mercy?

That was a hell of a way to break the ice, finding out your client’s boyfriend is a pain slut definitely was a new one. Fantasising about your clients even more so, but they are so endearing.

“Okay you ready?” You glance up at Eddie, he nods and you position your needle. “And 3, 2, 1, aaaand done.” You feed the needle through his belly button, you remove the needle and leave the plastic tube inside the freshly pierced hole. “And here’s the stingy part.” You mutter as you thread his chosen jewellery through the plastic tube of the needle and twists the ball on top, wiping and sterilising his belly button. “How was it?” Steve questioned, still looking at Eddie through his fingers across his eyes. “Completely fine babe, princess here has magic fingers.” He shoots you a smirk in an attempt to fluster you back for earlier.

“Sure do. Are you up next Steve? I have time to slot you in now, I’ve got a free hour.” Inquiring as clean up your work space once more. “N-no. Maybe next time.” He responds with the weakest smile you’ve ever seen. He’s scared, if any of the goosebumps on his skin suggest, that’s understandable. Poor thing, he’s a completely blank canvas and a piercing is a pretty big commitment to make. Eddie smiles, whispering something in-audible to Steve which of course left him with a flushed face again.

You squat down to your drawers to reach a form, and as you bend over you hear a groan. Well more of a grunt, you smirk whilst your back is turned. These boys were too cute. Wondering which of them you could make yours first, maybe take the easy frightened little lamb and watch his protector follow. What sounds would they make? You could break down the act that Eddie puts up and make him melt in your hands? Was the act he puts up all a ploy, was Steve the top? So many questions run through your mind, but you knew something for certain. This was precious. These boys were precious. Behind you, you hear some giggling. Still searching for the feedback form you have to leave it up to your imagination, but it ate at you. What were they giggling about? You hadn’t imagined the handcuffs attached to Eddie’s belt, maybe he was teasing him by showing Steve what he’d be tied with that night? Maybe they’d pointed at you pretty ass bend over so nicely on display for them and daydreamed about having you in those cuffs?

You twist your face over your shoulder to face them as you pick up the form, your elbows squeezing together ‘accidentally’. Steve shys away from looking but you can tell he wants to, it was obvious. His eyes darted around the room, from the mirror across from you, and back to your chest. Whereas Eddie? His jaw was on the floor, his vision transfixed on your chest.

“Okay, well in that case when you’re ready I need you, Eddie to fill in this form about how your experience was here today. We give them to all our clients.”

You commanded, handing him the form and a pen, watching as he filled it out pretty quickly. It was cute, through the whole time you’d spent together, Steve hadn’t let go of Eddie’s hand. Following him around like a lost dog, but he still couldn’t stop his eyes from moving over you. Eddie squeezes Steve’s hand again and he looks down at his lap. Oh. Was it the pain of the piercing or your body that made that tent in his pants appear? Steve bites his lip and reaches out to palm his hand over Eddie’s bulge. He squirms and swats at his boyfriend’s hands. Oh god could they get any cuter, flustered and bratty? The things you could do.

He shuffles his jacket across his waist, hoping you hadn’t seen it. Handing you the form back, you walk them both back into the waiting room. You sign the form to prove you had administered the piercing, handing it back to Eddie to take his copy home for safe keeping. Chewing on your pen lid, you giggle as the leave your studio. You wonder how long it will be until they read the note you left them on the paper.

“Let me know if you want that piercing Stevie, I think you’d both suit little matching belly bars. The cutest boys. If I’ve read this wrong ignore me and I apologise but if I haven’t? Call me. *phone number*.”

Well you’ve had worse days at work.

[ithinkabouttzu]

Hilo! Can you do the easy boys with an extra ticklish reader?????

Easy co. dating an extra ticklish s/o!

a/n: Hi! Thank you so much for your request! I hope you enjoy lovely! 💗

genre: romance; fluff

warnings: sorry guys i used the word tickle like a 100 times in this, there’s a little suggestion!

description: The men of easy co. reacting to you (their s/o) being extra ticklish!

Taglist: @executethyself35 @linhkhanhcps @1waveshortofashipwreck @grumpy-liebgott @barbeygirl @samwinchesterslostshoe @ronsenthal @sweetxvanixlla @mstiemountainhop (If you want to be on this list, let me know!! :))

BoB masterlist

Dick Winters: He thinks it’s adorable. The first time he tickled you he probably wouldn’t even have meant to do it on purpose, like maybe his finger brushed beside your arm and you immediately started to laugh hysterically. He would think something was wrong with you until you told him lmao. He’ll keep it in mind though next time you try to tickle him.

Lewis Nixon: “Oh come on! You can’t run away now!” He’d figure out how ticklish you were when he decided it would be nice to give you a sweet kiss on your neck. Then he would completely take advantage of the fact that you are extremely ticklish there and start kissing the same spot over and over again.

Carwood Lipton: He would discover all of this when he was trying to be a gentleman to you and give you a nice foot massage after a long day on your feet. The moment he puts his hands on the back of your sole you would be in a giggling fit. He would sit there and look confused, waiting for some sort of joke. Once you told him, he would find it cute and laugh it off with you.

Joe Toye: When you tell him that you get ticklish very easily, he isn’t quite sure what to think of it at first. When he wraps his arms around your waist and sees you break into immediate laughter, he gets it then, and he finds it to be the cutest thing ever. He’ll tickle you over and over again just to hear that pretty laugh of yours.

Joe Liebgott: “Oh come on honey, you’re really that ticklish, huh? I guess I’ll have to keep that in mind for later then.” He honestly doesn’t believe you when you tell him how ticklish you were at first, but like nix, he’d try to be smooth and kiss your neck, and have you in a giggling fit in return. “Oh doll, it can’t be too bad, i’m just tryin’ to give ya’ some lovin’ that’s all.”

Bill Guarnere: I feel like this fucker here is going to make it into somethins sexual when it’s really not lmao. Like once he knows that you’re super ticklish, he's going to purposefully tickle you until you're begging for him to stop, and once you’re doing that he’s already in the mood to do something else iykyk. Better to just not tell him at all LOLL.

George Luz: When you tell him you can be extra ticklish at times he is taking that to his advantage 100%. If you guys are in the middle of some play fight and he knows you’re winning, he's gonna start tickling you, same for anything else you could be beating him at. Whenever he just wants to hear your laugh his immediate thought is to tickle you and it makes him feel SO happy

Eugene Roe: Now he wants to get into a million tickle battles with you. The sweetest thing about it is if he was hugging you or touching somewhere where you were ticklish he would ask if you were okay and if he needed to move his hand to make you comfortable. ( because he knows how frustrating that must get at times and he’d hate to accidentally hurt you.)

Bull Randleman: He doesn’t have much of a reaction when you tell him other than thinking that it’s a cute niche trait of yours. I think he wouldn’t really tickle you unless he was having a horrible day and just really needed to hear you laugh. Kinda like Bull, he'd be wary of touching one of your tickle spots and accidentally irritate that spot since you’re sensitive there.

Floyd Talbert: He’s similar to luz when you tell him that, he’s going to take it to his advantage and use it against you anytime he needs the upper hand (in a very playful way of course.) He’s also kinda like Bill too in the same way that he likes hearing you beg lol. Whenever you’re feeling sad, be ready to be tickled by him until you feel better haha.

Skip Muck: Oh gosh, once you tell him that you’re very ticklish he’s now going to tickle you every time you get some exciting news, need some cheering up, want some physical touch from him, literally anything possible, he just needs a reason to tickle you. He loves making sure your and his relationship is very lightweight and happy, and that's the best way to do it.

Don Malarkey: Honestly tickling you is his way of flirting with you before you guys ever got into an established romantic relationship. Once you guys are in that relationship he’ll still do it in a flirty way loll. He also really finds it as a form of intimacy, it's his way of being close to you, and seeing you smile always feels nice too.

Babe Heffron: “No way! Me too!” This is completely fanon but I have this idea in my head that he would also be extremely ticklish too. Like you and him would be trying to cuddle and both end up fighting for y’all’s lives because you guys are accidentally tickling each other. It’s also his biggest weapon against you so beware lol.

Shifty Powers: He would be the perfect partner for a very ticklish person because he knows when it's appropriate and not appropriate to do it. He knows that being tickled after a while can hurt, so if and when he is tickling you he won’t do it for too long. As long as you are laughing and having a good time then he’s good with it.

Frank Perconte: He’s the type of guy that likes to sneak up on you and tickle that spot on your neck when you’re focusing on something. He loves fucking with you like that. He knows that tickling you is your biggest weakness so he will use it against you anytime he needs the upper hand (Like floyd lmao.)

Ronald Speirs: You would tell him that you’re ticklish, but the horrible thing is, this man couldn’t be able to tickle someone correctly even if his life depended on it. The thing is, whenever he tries to tickle you he ends up digging his fingertips into you which just makes you hurt in the end. He gets an A for effort though.

Johnny Martin: He probably won’t tickle you a whole lot, mostly because he’s not always the most playful, but if you had started tickling him first he would definitely be there to finish it and win at the unspoken tickle war lol. He would be the guy to swear he’s just not ticklish but once you get to that one spot on his side, it’s game over for him.

Skinny Sisk: He’s just like Luz, he’s going to take full advantage of the fact that you’re super ticklish, he loves loves LOVES being playful with you so tickling is always a go-to for him. He also does it when he just really wants to be close to you but doesn’t know how to express that to you. His favorite spot to tickle you is gotta be that spot under your armpit.

Chuck Grant: He thinks it’s super adorable that you get so ticklish so easily. The only thing is, like Speirs, he isn’t very good at tickling at all LOL. He does this one thing that is so cute and it's called, “Hand tickling” which is just caressing your hand in a very fast way lmao. Not a very good tickler but he gets an A+ for creativity and effort.

David Webster: He doesn’t like tickling you a whole lot for a number of reasons, one because too much of it can stimulate seizures, brain aneurysm, and eventually death. (He’s just a tad bit dramatic lol.) And if he does tickle you it’s probably because you started it first. I could definitely see him doing it a lot by accident though.

Buck Compton: He’s like Skip in this scenario. Now just because you told him that you get ticklish very easily, he is going to go out of his way to try and tickle you almost 24/7. Like almost every other night before you and him go to bed, he’s giving himself some corny ass name like “The Tickle Monster” lmao.

Thank you for your cute request!! If you enjoyed, please make sure to like or reblog!! I love you all! <333

[plutoccult]

ALWAYS THE ARTIST, NEVER THE MUSE

pairing: eren yeager x gender neutral reader

description: you know you shouldn’t have let yourself fall for eren, but you did anyway, and it only left you with nothing but hurt when you knew his heart belonged to another. after months of torture, you finally have the strength to let go, granting you the happiness you so desperately needed back in your life.

word count: 1.7k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: happy december? no, angsty december. this particular one shot is a little personal for me because it’s based off a final conversation i had with someone who i essentially let have hold of my heart for far too long and finally had the strength to let go of them a few months ago. he’s like jake gyllenhaal minus the age gap. i say this because he gave me the ability to relate to the moment i knew aka not being there for my 21st birthday! insane! i did however make it less personal by giving it some how i met your mother vibes, but there’s still inklings of my personal life in it. writing helps me heal and express my feelings in a way that i’m comfortable with, so i feel good writing this as part of my healing journey? corny to use fanfiction for healing, but to each their own. sorry if this is too angsty, but imagine how my life has been LMAO. anyway, big shoutout to my friend @toorubobatea for beta reading this. i really wanted her to read it before i posted it, so thank you queen!! and now i hope you guys can enjoy it just like she did! mwah! and i’m tagging @jeanboyjean since she so kindly asked me to <3

you knew that the day you met eren yeager, your life would never be the same, but my god, did it your life turn upside down. pulled in so many different directions you couldn’t tell what was left or right anymore. you felt like you were losing yourself in the process, but you wanted more of him like you wanted to breathe air.

it was always a mistake. one beautiful, soul-crushing mistake. he’d lead you on with mixed signals and uncertainty, but you lived for the thrill because it was the only interesting thing going on in your life. it’s “for the plot”, as you’d always say. even if your friends told you a million times he was bad news and you would only get hurt in the end, you didn’t care.

he was just your friend, that’s what you two always claimed; just friends, but you always sensed a hint of a lie in those words. you couldn’t be just friends. not when he remembered everything you said down to what you had for lunch last week or that time your mother fainted as she watched you get stitches for the first time as a kid. not when he spoke to you everyday like clockwork, a routine that seemed to come easy. how could you ever be just friends? how could it not be more?

you were inevitably in love with eren yeager, and it crushed you when you realized he never once had those feelings for you. not only that, but he was in love with someone else; mikasa ackerman, his best friend since childhood. it all made perfect sense, and you wished you never met him in the first place. but even then, you couldn’t keep yourself away from him. as long as he didn’t know of your feelings, everything would be fine, right? oh, how you were so, so wrong.

you tortured yourself every time you spoke to him. you listened to him as he pined for mikasa, too scared to admit his feelings to her. of course you knew what it was like to be in that position, the one you wanted was sitting right in front of you and he didn’t seem to have a clue. it frustrated you so much, but even so, you’d rather have something instead of nothing with him. such a sad way to feel, such a sad way to live when you think about it now. always the artist, never the muse. constantly crafting for others, nothing ever created just for you.

you’d push those feelings deep down into the darkest pit of your heart, but no matter how hard you tried, it would all come back every time you saw his face or even thought of him. those thoughts of maybe if you were prettier, funnier, and just overall better plagued your mind, but you had to shake them away. one day, you knew, you’d ultimately become fed up and blow up about it. it was the only way you knew how, the only way you could be free.

so now here you were, sitting at your usual booth in your favorite bar—assuming it may no longer be yours after tonight—waiting for eren to arrive so you could talk. you assumed he could sense your seriousness and urgency when you texted him, but you figured so be it. one way or another, you’d do this.

he arrived like you expected. you refused to let him make you second guess yourself, so you kept your cool and acted as normal before you dropped the bomb on him. besides, the shot you took before he showed up was quite the help, plus the drink you swirled around in its glass now.

eren walked over to the bar to grab a drink before heading over to the booth, expecting you to stand up and greet him with a hug like always, but you remained in your seat, clutching your drink in your hands.

“hey, i got your text.” he said as he sat down across from you.

“i see that.” you reply. he noticed you were acting different, not like the y/n he knew. it was obvious you had something on your mind, and since he knew you so well, eren could sense you were going to spill your guts about something.

“what’s up? is something wrong?” eren asked. this was it.

“i just.” you pause. oh god, you were really doing this. “i just wanted to say that i’m done with whatever this is.”

he’s silent, he doesn’t know what to say. you feel like the words are all coming out like vomit. you almost wish you were spewing real vomit right now, but you weren’t quite drunk enough for that. you had to get through this hellish conversation first, at least.

“i’m done. i’m not going to make a fool out of myself anymore. i’m done trying. i’m giving up.” you say, tears threatening to stream down your face, but you fight them away. “i’m done exhausting myself of trying to be something i’ll never be because deep down i know i’ll never be yours.”

eren should’ve seen this coming. all those times you fell silent when he ranted to you about his love problems. you always wanted to scream in his face about how the one person in this world that actually wanted him was always right there, that it was you. even so, he could never give you what you wanted, and he felt like the worst person in the world because of it.

you wait for him to speak, but he doesn’t say anything. if this was going to be your final conversation, he might as well say something. “well, speak now or forever hold your peace because i’m clearly not holding mine.”

“i mean, it’s just not what i was expecting to hear.” eren finally spoke. “i’m just shocked.”

“trust me, i never expected to say it either, but if i’ve learned anything, it’s that i care too much.” you tearfully admit. “too much about you when i know where your heart belongs and it’s not with me.”

“i’m sorry, y/n. i never meant for things to get like this.” he said with sincerity, although you wondered if it was all a lie. “and you must know that there was never any hostile intentions behind any of my actions.”

“that’s funny. it always seemed like there was.” you looked down at your drink, quickly moving your gaze back to him as he spoke once more.

“no, you…” eren paused, trying to put the words together in the best way he could. even if he didn’t seem like it, he did care someway, somehow. “you’ve been there for me when i needed someone most and i’m really, really grateful for that, but i can’t give you what you want, and i’ve been unfair to you as a result. i’m sorry.”

huh. this really wasn’t what you were expecting. where’s the insults? where’s the twisting of your words? why is he actually being apologetic and taking accountability? you wanted to say this was crazy, but this is eren you’re talking about. you always knew he was too good. too good to ever be yours, even.

“you know, this is usually the part where you flip out and make it all my fault instead by calling me delusional and crazy.” you force a laugh. might as well laugh through the pain, right?

“i’m not gonna flip out.” eren said.

“why?” you question him.

“because i know i’ve done wrong by you.” he replied.

“well, that’s a shock.” you take a sip of your drink, tempted to chug it, but eren’s words shocked you into stopping the liquid from going past your lips.

“it shouldn’t have to be, y/n.” he frowned. “you deserve someone who won’t weigh you down. you deserve to move on, even if it’s not flattering for me.”

you set down your drink as you let out a sigh and briefly cover your face, rubbing your eyes before showing yourself once more. “i hate that you’re being so nice about this. i was expecting to yell at you or something.”

“do you want to?” eren asked you.

as much as past you would have loved to, you didn’t have the energy to be bitter anymore. “no… i’m okay. this is better.”

“you sure?”

“yeah, positive.” you say, followed by silence. there wasn’t much for you to say anymore, and you couldn’t beat on this dead horse any longer. it was time to finally say goodbye, no matter how much it pained you to do so. “um, i guess we should just end this here, huh?”

“yeah, guess so.” he looked away. this hurt eren too, but you both knew this was for the best. you’ll be thankful later down the road.

“would it be totally wrong to sneak in a taylor swift quote right now?” you ask, almost immediately regretting the question.

“no, go for it.”

“eh, maybe not. too corny.” you thought it would be best to keep those words to yourself. besides, it was too hard to pin it down to just one thing. he was worth a hundred songs, ones you may never listen to the same way, but that’s okay.

“she’s a wise, wise woman, you know.” eren said, a grin slowly creeping up on his face, despite the circumstances.

“yeah, she is.” you softly smile. at least you could end this on a little good note.

“goodbye, y/n. i wish you the best in everything.”

“goodbye, eren. i really hope you get her someday.”

and with that, you placed a twenty dollar bill on the table and left the bar, no longer claiming it as your favorite and leaving it to eren, along with your favorite place to sit. like with everything else in life, nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same, and that’s okay. you knew that now.

it was such a strange feeling, having this weight lifted off your shoulders. you had been burdened with this boulder for so long you forgot what it felt like to be weightless. you were finally clean of eren yeager, light as a feather, but most importantly, happy, and freeing yourself of such delusions was the greatest gift you could ever receive.

© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3

[augustghosts]

The Best Thank you

Tommy Miller x fem!reader

On that night in 2003, Tommy calls his girlfriend instead of Joel. 

(let's pretend the literal apocalypse doesn’t happen for this one, ok?) 

 I started writing this like a week ago before ep 6 and after seeing ep 6 I haven't been able to stop thinking about tommy fucking miller. Anyways, this ends kind of abruptly because i’m bad at endings lol. And this is the worst title ever, I couldn't think of one. Hope you enjoy <3

Warnings: 18+ so minors dni pls, not proofread so lmk if u spot any mistakes lmao. Lots of pet names. Established relationship, ppl in love n all that. Oral (f receiving), unprotected sex. Tommy defo whimpers btw.

Word count: 3.1k

“Shit!” She almost rolled her eyes at herself as she did the classic scramble around the bed in the dark for her phone. After a few seconds she grasps it, her eyes squinting as she looks over a number she doesn’t recognise. She considers not answering, it is midnight. But calls this late are usually important, right? Fuck it. 

“Hello?” She’s hesitant, but the sigh she lets out makes it sound like she’s annoyed. Tommy is nervous, he’s actually fucking nervous. After no answer from Joel, he didn’t know what else to do. He was well and truly fucked. He's leaning against a cold wall, the payphone is heavy in his hand - not as heavy as the stare the officer who’s watching him is giving him. He looks down at his boots instead and squeezes his eyes shut before replying. The sound of her voice immediately helped his situation. 

“Hey, honey!” He sounds a little too cheery, he honestly cringes at himself. He can’t tell if its the pure fucking anxiety he’s feeling because of this phone call or the alcohol. 

“Tommy? What’s wrong?” She sussed him out immediately, the sounds of his voice initially putting her at ease before she sensed the edge in it. God, he thinks, she’s so damn smart. And she knows him so well. He catches himself smiling at the just the thought of her, until he remembers where the fuck he is. 

“Yeah. I’m, uh - I'm okay.” Did he just stutter? This is one of those times he wished she didn’t have this kind of effect on him. 

“Okay?” She beckons him to continue, leaning over to her nightstand to flick the light on. Her room is illuminated revealing a pair of Tommy’s shoes by her door and some clothes he’d left there still thrown over the back of her chair. 

“Look, I'm - um.” Fuck, Tommy. Just say it. “I’m in jail.”

There’s a pause on the other end, a pause that’s a little too long and makes him think she’d hung up. He takes the phone away from his ear to glance at it, as if that would help.  Her voice is small when it finally comes through. “What?” 

“Did you actually not hear me or do you just want me to say it again?” He tries to joke. 

“Say it again.” Her voice is stern, it immediately shuts him down. 

“I’m in jail.” He sighs. 

There’s another pause before she asks: “Are you okay?”

His heart squeezes in his chest. He had expected a million sighs, a telling off or maybe even a dial tone ringing in his ear telling him she’d hung up on him. But no, of course she’s not like that. He knows that - she’s better than anyone he’d ever met. Of course his beautiful girl with her beautiful heart, who had just been woken up at midnight, was going to ask him if he was okay. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” His voice is uncharacteristically small. 

“What happened?” 

“I don’t know. It's- you know I was at the bar and one of my buddies got into a fight and I was just helping him out. I think maybe I knocked the guy out, I don't know.” He does know. He did knock the guy out and honestly, he was pretty proud of it. But he doesn’t want to tell her that. 

“Oh, okay.” Honestly, she’s confused. Not sure why he was calling her, didn’t he have a brother? 

“Anyway, look baby, I'm sorry but I need you to help me out.” 

“How?” She asks. She’s sitting up now, and suddenly she doesn’t feel tired anymore. 

He sighs again, he really doesn’t want to be doing this. “Darlin’, I really am sorry but I need you to bail me out.” 

She’s silent again for a second, “Now?” 

“Yeah, it’s friday. If I don't get out tonight I'll be here all weekend.” He’s speaking faster now, he sounds like he’s panicking. Shit, is she really gonna do this? Of course she is. She sighs as she stands up. Tommy hears it and it makes his chest squeeze again, guilt flooding him as he speaks. “Please. I’m sorry.” 

“Which jail?” She asks - he tells her. A feeling of relief almost overtakes the guilt as he hears her shuffling around on the other end. 

“Okay.” She says, slipping her shoes on. “I’ll be there soon.” 

“Shit, thank you sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you.” He promises. She doesn’t respond - the line goes dead. Honestly, he feels like he’s getting mixed signals. Was she mad? Was she upset? He couldn’t tell. Fuck Joel for not answering.

Half an hour later she’s pulling up in front of the station. Her heart is beating faster than ever, maybe she should have left him here over the weekend. Taught him a damn lesson. She knows she doesn’t mean that, but she seriously considers it as she gets out of her car. The place is weirdly empty for a Friday night, a few people sitting on chairs in front of the desk. Only two people sitting behind said desk, she had expected it to be a lot crazier. Maybe the crazy is happening where Tommy is, somewhere in the back. In just a few minutes after a conversation at the desk Tommy is walking towards her. He looks more nervous than she’s ever seen him. His usual cocky and confident demeanor, which she loves so much, has been replaced by guilt and embarrassment. She stands with her arms crossed as she waits, watching as he’s handed back his phone and wallet. 

“Hey.” He says as he turns to her, he almost wishes he could go back inside. 

“Hi.” She replies, she turns and leaves. He follows, already going through an apology speech in his head. When they get outside she stops by her car, turning to face him. 

“Baby, look, I'm sorry. I-” He starts his speech but is cut off by her soft hands grasping his face. Her hands are warm on his cheeks and he brings his own hand up to rest on top of hers. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks. He nods, his gorgeous brown eyes wide as he anticipates what she’s going to do next. She surprises him by leaning up to kiss him, pulling his head down to meet her lips. He sighs as she kisses him softly, his hands wrap around her middle - he pulls her as close as he can. He had been contemplating tonight being the end of this, all his worries that he had disappointed her melting away as he felt her smile against his lips. 

“You’re an idiot.” She mumbled against his skin as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. He mirrored the grin on her face as he pulled away from her, she was still holding his face lovingly. 

“I know.” He smirked. Shit, even after all this - a night of drinking, an apparent bar fight and a few hours in jail, he still looked gorgeous. 

“So, am I taking you home or?” She trailed off, stepping away from him and rounding her car to the drivers side. 

“Only if you’re coming with me.” 

“We’ll go to mine then. I have work in the morning.” She says, and that guilty feeling almost returns, but when he sees the smirk on her face, he mirrors it with the same amount of enthusiasm. 

When they enter her apartment, Tommy suddenly isn’t as nervous anymore. Alcohol still running through his veins and excited over the thought of getting to spend the night with his girl instead of in a fucking cell. She’s slipping her shoes off and placing her keys down on the shelf beside the door when he approaches her from behind, wrapping his arms around her - chin on her shoulder. 

“You’re my goddamn hero.” He jokes, mumbling the words against her skin as he nuzzled into her neck.

“Sounds like you were the hero tonight.” She whispers back, placing her hands over his and leaning back into him. He’s pressing kisses along her neck as he responds. 

“Yeah, and i got fuckin’ arrested for it.” 

She laughs loudly, turning in his arms to kiss him again. More passionately and messily than in front of the police station. His hands grip her hips tighter, one traveling down to knead at her ass. Her own hands push his button up off of his shoulders, leaving him in just his white shirt. God, he looked good today. She can feel his cock through the front of his jeans as his hand on her ass pulls her forwards into him.

“I gotta admit,” She pulls away from him, his mouth tries to follow hers but she grasps his hand, leading him to her room. “It is kinda sexy, Thinking about you winning a fight.” 

She decides that maybe he deserves a bit of a show after the night he’s had. He’s standing in the doorway watching her, his trademark smirk plastered onto his face as she slowly takes her shirt off - Tommy’s shirt, actually. Already braless from being woken up at midnight, the jacket she had thrown on top of his shirt has already been abandoned at the door. He couldn’t lie about noticing her nipples through her shirt as she’d taken the coat off earlier. He makes a show of crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame, the smirk now turned into a grin. One that she's mirroring as she unbuttons her jeans and slowly slides them down her legs. His eyes follow, once they trail over her hips and legs he decides he can’t take it anymore. Having her standing in front of him in nothing but panties is not how he thought this night was going to end. 

“Fuck, baby.” His voice is noticeably deeper now as he comes to her, gripping her hips so she's against him. Her bare chest pressed against his clothed one. “I’m gonna give you the best thank you you’ve ever had.” 

And with that, he crouches down to haul her up into his arms - her legs wrapping around his waist as she laughs above him. He presses a quick kiss to her lips before dropping her down onto the bed. It’s his turn to put on a show now as he rids himself of his own shirt. He kneels in front of her and presses a kiss to her ankle before grabbing them both and using them to haul her towards the end of the bed. His mouth is inches from her pussy and she sighs as she feels him pressing kisses up her legs. He’s always been a tease, he lives for the sounds she makes. He loves to see her squirm. And squirm she does as he begins to slowly suck and bite the skin on her thighs. 

“Tommy.” She sighs his name and tugs on his hair and he swears his cock twitches in his jeans. “Please touch me.” Fuck, the effect she has on him is insane. He wants nothing more than to rip the denim off of his legs and fuck her into the matress, but he knows what she needs. And he will always give it to her. He presses one last kiss to her stomach before sliding her panties down her legs and throwing them behind him. 

“You’re so pretty, baby.” He whispers, just inches away from where she needs him. He used his thumbs to part her lips, a groan leaving his lips as he leaned in and dragged his warm tongue down the length of her. She sighed above him, her hands still holding onto his hair. He focuses on her clit, his tongue drawing tight circles over the nub. After a couple of strokes he closed his mouth around it, sucking gently. 

“Shit, Tommy.” One of her legs lifted around his shoulder, her heel pushing him further towards her. He smiled against her, he loved pleasing her. She always thought about how lucky she had gotten with Tommy.  A man who knows what he’s doing, and loves to do it. After playing with her clit for as long as she could take he pulled away. A beautiful smile on his face as he watched her squirm, her hands grasping his shoulders trying to push him back down. 

“You wanna come for me, gorgeous?” He asked, breathless. 

“Please.” She nods enthusiastically, just as breathless as him. “Please make me come!”

“Whatever you want princess.” He smirks, bringing his mouth back down to her pussy. His lips closed around her clit once more. He brings a hand up underneath his mouth, a single finger tracing her entrance before pushing inside. He moans against her when he feels how wet she is, adding another finger. She’s whining above him, moaning his name and pulling on his hair and he thinks about how he could definitely come like this. Shit, he has before. He fucks her with his fingers exactly the way he knows she likes, his tongue continuing to dance on her clit until she closes her thighs around his head. 

“Oh fuck, Tommy!” She moans loudly, neither of them have time to think about her neighbors right now. “I’m gonna come.” 

He continues what he’s doing as she grips harder on his hair, her legs closing tightly around his shoulders as she arches her back as she comes. He watches her face, she always looks so gorgeous like this. He fucking loves it. He fucking loves her. He keeps going until she's giggling breathlessly and pushing him away. He sits up, kneeling at the bottom of the bed between her legs, pressing one last kiss to her thigh before standing up and ridding himself of his jeans. She whimpers when she sees just how hard he is. He looks gorgeous as he stands above her, his cock flushed and leaking. He climbs on top of her to kiss her messily, her wetness still around his mouth as he pushes his tongue inside of hers. 

“How do you want me?” She whispers against his lips. 

“Fuck, turn around sweetheart.” He’s grinning at her as she follows his instructions. Turning around onto her stomach and leaning on her elbows. He takes a hold of her hips, pulling her ass up so he can get a view of her dripping pussy. “God I can't wait to fill you up, you ready for me?” 

“I’m always ready for you.” She smiles at him over her shoulder. He groans at her words, realizing he cant wait any longer, he takes a hold of his throbbing cock and lines himself up to her glistening hole. They both moan as he pushes in, her warm walls welcoming him as they squeeze him in. 

“So fuckin’ tight.” He whimpers as he begins to set a pace. “God, i fuckin’ love your pussy.” 

She feels like his words make her more wet, if that's even possible. 

“I love your cock, Tommy.” She moans as he fucks her slowly, holding himself back. He wants to enjoy her, but her heavenly cunt makes it so difficult. “Please, make me feel good.” 

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I'm gonna.” He says through gritted teeth. He always does, but she loves to tease him. And she knows how much he loves to hear her beg for him. He continues to fuck her like this, picking up his pace eventually when she begins to whine for him to go faster. She breathes his name as his cock begins hitting just the right spot, her hands tightening around the bedsheets - needing something to hold on to. Her chest pressed up against the bedsheets, her body being thrust forward as Tommy fucks into her, adds deliciously to the stimulation. He knows her so well, he can feel when she's getting close. Her silky walls tighten around him, her hands clenching and unclenching as her back arches more. Her whines of his name becoming higher in pitch. He’s close too, so with a smack to her ass that makes her yelp he pulls out. She doesn’t have time to process as he turns her over climbing over her again to kiss her. She moans against his mouth, his soft lips and tongue mixing with her own. Her legs wrap around his body as he pushes into her again. Immediately setting a bruising pace, both of them too close to care. 

“You gonna come for me baby? Yeah?” He eggs her on as she nods, desperately. “Come on baby come around my cock. Let me feel it.” 

The sight of her reaching down to play with her clit as she comes undone beneath him is enough to do it for him. 

“Where do you want it?” He hisses. He knows the answer, but he always asks anyway. 

“Come inside me Tommy. I wanna feel you.” He practically whimpers her name as he empties inside of her. She pulls his face down towards her again, wanting to hold him close. He bites into her shoulder as she whimpers in his ear, still coming down from her own high. Both of them enjoying the feeling of him filling her pussy up. 

“Holy shit.” She murmurs. A drowsy smile on her face as she plays with his hair until he eventually lifts his head from her shoulder. He laughs before pressing a kiss to her cheek. He sits up, pulling out of her and biting the inside of his cheek as he watches his come drip out of her. 

“I love you.” She says, reaching for him again. 

“I love you more.” He smiles as she pulls him down for a kiss. “You gotta sleep, not long until you need to get up for work.” 

“Yeah,” She agrees, still trying out her breath. She stands up to make her way to the bathroom and stops at the door to say: “A long night of being a hero.” She hears him laugh from the bed as she shuts the bathroom door, her legs still slightly wobbly and tingling. He definitely kept his promise, the best damn thank you she’d ever had. 

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Maybe I’m Not Scared of What You’re Thinking Of - Simon Lynch/Reader

Prompt: Don't you know what you mean to me?

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, friends to lovers, slow burn, growing friendship, angst, hurt/comfort, brief canon-related mention of violence, kissing, fully clothed grinding, kindness and praise makes Simon cry ;w;

Wordcount: 14270

Summary: It's a complete coincidence that you meet him, and even though he's a little weird and there's an anger in him fueled by pain, you know that you might be all he needs to be defused.

Notes: It's Simon's turn! I have a lot of feelings about Simon!! As soon as I saw his episode my heart went out to him a lot, he's so me-coded (aside from y'know the homicide lmao) and he really only needed someone to believe in him, so here's a whole ton of words about you doing just that QwQ I've also decided that this will be his own continued world like I did with Joshua, so any future stuff will take place during or after this~

You really regret accepting this blind date after the 30th straight minute comes and goes, your date still talking about himself on his side of the table.

He came highly recommended from your mother, the son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker, and it’s clear she did no actual research on him since you have nothing in common. You just keep smiling and sipping at your drink of choice, his words falling on deathly bored ears as he keeps trying to pitch his business to you, something about a private server for paying customers to get his advice or some dumb shit you haven’t seen a million times before. Sometimes you wished you’d been born in the past when things were simpler, because any idiot with a podcast and access to the internet always came to the same conclusion that they could be the Next Great Thing, and this guy definitely does not have what it takes.

He’s about to write down his contact info so you can check out his server right now, right in the middle of your date, his food cold in front of him as he just keeps choosing to talk instead of eat, and you just stare at him tearing off the paper to hand to you as you pray your souring expression isn’t giving you away too much. ‘Uh, sorry, I don’t have Facsimile,’ you lie as he holds it out to you, but it doesn’t dissuade him as he then says it’s super easy to sign up, he’ll help you. ‘No, I mean I’m not one for all these chatting apps, I prefer some good, old fashioned talking,’ you continue, another lie although not quite as much, for while you do prefer talking face to face, hence the date, you had so many chat apps on your phone to keep in contact with everyone that they had their own page on your home screen.

‘It’ll be worth it, trust me, I already have a bunch of guys giving their own presentations on my server, I’ll even give you a free week’s trial to check everything out, whattaya say?’ he asks, clearly more interested in expanding his brand than making any sort of actual connection with you, and this time you let your face scrunch up in pained awkwardness.

‘Yeah, it’s gunna have to be a no, sorry,’ you cringe, and his smile slowly falls as he crumples up the paper and stuffs it inside his expensive name brand jacket, obviously bought to show off to everyone how ‘successful’ he was.

‘Fine, no it’s fine, I just thought you were smarter than that,’ he grumbles just on the border of passive aggressively, your eyebrows rising as your opinion of him somehow manages to drop even lower. ‘You figure you give someone a chance to get in on the ground floor of something because you think you’re vibing, but I guess it was just me.’

‘Uh…’

‘How is everything?’ The small voice draws your attention from him as you look up to your savior, your eyes just going higher as the person towers over you, even when he’s hunched over a bit to take up as little space as possible as his co-workers pass by him to get to the other tables. Your mouth falls open a little bit as your eyes meet, long bangs just barely swept to the side to reveal dark brown irises that almost appear black focusing only on you as he ignores your date, and you forget to answer as the man across from you answers for you.

‘We’re doing great, just fantastic, thanks buddy,’ he growls, now eating his food as quickly as he can so he can get away from you. ‘If you could hurry up and grab the checks though that would be even better.’

‘Is there anything else you’d like? More water, or a refill?’ He completely ignores the other man as he focuses on you, which pisses him off even more, and you join in on that as you smile politely up at him.

‘Everything’s perfect, although I could go for a refill, thank you,’ you tell him, and he gives you a nod without once acknowledging your date, who’s already gotten out his wallet and is looking up the prices of the bar on his phone; he pulls out enough to cover the meal but passes over his beer and the tax, because that’s too much work to calculate it even with his phone in hand, and he gets up and sarcastically wishes you a nice life as he bails, the silence a nice change as you continue eating alone. Your server returns a short while later with a new glass and the checks, and when he sees the money left behind he puts two and two together.

‘I take it I’m not getting a tip from him,’ he figures, and you laugh into your glass, almost spilling the liquid all over the table as you try not to choke.

‘I doubt you would’ve anyway, he was a prick,’ you admit, which makes him smile, and you decide his smile is actually quite nice as he starts clearing the other half of the table. ‘Hey, uh, would you wanna sit with me? Just for a little, it’s kinda embarrassing to eat alone after that disaster.’

He glances at the freshly vacant seat before looking around, and he leans over to lower his voice, his eyes on the table as he speaks. ‘I should really get back to work,’ he whispers, but you gesture in front of you in a welcoming manner, and he follows your hands before sitting and hiding his apron behind his arms, the nametag of Simon just barely peeking out before it’s covered up.

You flash him another smile before getting back to your lunch, it’s amazing how listening to someone that incredibly annoying can really kill the appetite in the moment, and he tries not to watch you as he makes sure he’s not about to get in trouble. You finish off your first glass and start on the second since you did ask him for it, even if it was an excuse to ignore your date initially, and you catch the way his eyes watch your exposed throat as you tilt your head back; unlike the other person sitting there previously you don’t feel objectified, or like you were a piece of meat to devour after the sell was over. It’s refreshing, and you offer him your plate in case he might want something to eat before his break, but he refuses, of course he would.

He keeps his eye on his watch but never gets up, and as you pop a fry into your mouth you can’t help but want to talk to him as he meets your eye and looks away immediately after for the third time in a row. ‘You work here long?’ you ask to start, and it’s a lame start, but just the fact that you wanna hear about him has him leaning forward in his seat before he controls himself, sits back again.

‘Just a few years, this is actually my second job, I mainly work with Data Waste,’ he tells you, his voice getting away from him for a moment before he lowers it again; it’s obvious that no one asks about him often, just this small amount of attention enough to make his face light up in a way you don't see often anymore, at least not when you talk about work related things.

‘So, you waste all the data?’ you joke, and he leans in again, the plate pushed aside as he fights to keep his voice under control.

‘No, it’s really interesting actually, I get access to all the trashed data in the city, sift through it to find anything incriminating or important, things that were lost or gotten rid of, delete anything useless; my co-workers think it’s pretty boring, but you can’t imagine the things I’ve seen on some people.’ He stops, realizing he’s about to violate his NDA, and you chuckle as he looks around again like he expects his boss from his other job to suddenly appear and fire him.

‘Sounds exciting, you ever see anything on me?’ you can’t help but ask as you lean in as well, and there’s a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks as he sits back again.

‘I dunno, I’d need to look up your name,’ he answers honestly, and you smirk at his reply.

‘Pretty smooth way to ask for it,’ you tell him, and when he stutters out that he wasn’t you just laugh and grab the check so you can see your total. You pull out your card so you can pay, and you’re in the middle of reaching for your ex-date’s check as well so you can cover the rest when he stops you.

‘I’ve got it, you don’t have to deal with trash like him, that’s my job,’ he jokes back, and when he hands you his card reader you make sure to leave a large tip from the both of you. You hand it back and his eyes go wide, he can’t accept this, but you just flash him your most charming smile and hand him one of your business cards from your wallet, something you printed up years ago but rarely got to hand out since most people used electronic cards nowadays.

‘It’s for making me laugh, today would’ve been pretty shitty otherwise,’ you admit as you stand, and when he stands with you you can see that he really is tall. 

‘Okay, well… if I find anything I’ll give you a call, then? Just so you know what people are deleting about you on the internet,’ he offers, and you hold out your hand to shake his as your expressions softens.

‘I’d like that.’

It’s been a week and a half since your lunch date gone wrong but also surprisingly gone right again, and you’re at home working on a project when an unknown number lights up your phone. You frown at it before clicking into the chat and seeing a bunch of strange messages before the stranger clears things up.

ur sqky clean no trash on u sry it took so long was busy this is simon sry from the bar from last week sry

You smile fondly as you type in a quick reply, your phone lighting up again as he answers fast, he must’ve been waiting with baited breath on the other side. You add his number to your phone and answer back, another quick reply getting you to decide to take a snack break as you bring your phone to the kitchen. The more you chat the more he sees that he doesn’t have to use shorthand, his words lengthening and becoming more proper until you’re wondering if maybe he’s trying to find the perfect mix that won’t annoy you. Eventually he settles on a mix like you do, and you get comfy on the couch with your snack as you turn on the TV and find something to watch.

It’s hard to find things sometimes, you’ve had this older model for years and it isn’t compatible with every streaming platform’s updates anymore, which you think is dumb, but the thing works and you don’t wanna shell out money just to be able to watch whatever new reality show everyone’s talking about as it airs. You stick to your playlist of favourite movies and shows again, settling on one you’ve already seen a million times so you can chat without needing to pay attention.

After a half hour you add each other to Facsimile so you can chat more openly without wasting data, his username of 4LM0ST-HUM4N making you snicker as you check out his profile, but it’s bare apart from his age, which is around yours, and his full name, his last name being Lynch. You can’t help but look him up since you already knew he’d done the same to you, and all you can find is a dating profile on a site you’d heard about but never used.

‘“Shy and looking,”’ you say out loud to yourself as you read his info, and you sink a little further into the cushions as his unfortunately off-putting but also undeniable cute profile picture stares you directly in the eye; you can tell he took it alone, he’s all washed out in the glow of his computer instead of from the room’s overhead or any natural light, and you almost want to call him out on it and help him try again, maybe he might get some matches that way.

You don’t mention the profile as you keep chatting, and before you know it the next movie is autoplaying, your battery low with how long you’ve been on your phone. You figure it’s about time you get back to work as you tell him about the situation, and he agrees, he’s also been putting off work, and you wish him a good night, adding in, ‘That data’s not gunna waste itself.’ He sends you a bunch of laughing emojis before changing his mind and editing the message so there’s only one, to which you give him one back, and he starts typing something else but stops. You wait but he never starts up again so you leave it be, your phone charging out of reach as you get back to work.

Now that you’ve been reminded that he exists and you find his company quite pleasant, you take a ride to the bar on your lunch break the next day, keeping your eye out as casually as you can until you see him clearing a table nearby. You wait until he’s done before waving at him to get his attention, and his smile is so big that it makes him self-conscious as a group of people pass him by, it faltering as he gets out of their way. He takes his dishes to the kitchen and quickly returns to take your order, and even though you’re sitting at a table and a menu is in your hands, you surprise him when you ask him when his break is instead of telling him what you want to eat.

‘My break?’ he repeats back to you, like he doesn’t understand the question.

‘I just figured you might want to eat somewhere you don’t work,’ you simply say, and he glances at his watch to check the time.

‘I get off in 15, but we can eat here, I don’t wanna take up your break by traveling,’ he offers, but you just shake your head and set the menu down.

‘I work from home, I can take as long as I want,’ you tell him, and it’s not exactly a lie since you do have some things to for sure finish today, but losing an extra hour to hang out with your new friend seems like a pretty good tradeoff honestly. He accepts your answer and goes back to work with a shy grin, and you patiently wait at your table until he returns, a brown hoodie slung over his arm and his apron left behind. 

You get up and follow him out to the street where he gets ready to hail a cab, and thanks to your convo from last night you already knew he didn’t drive, but you don’t want him to waste any money when your car was in the parking lot. You direct him to it, and in your head you can hear your mother warning you about letting strangers into your vehicle, but apart from being a little weird he has yet to give you any red flags or warning signs, so you unlock the door and hop in.

‘There’s this place downtown that’s pretty good,’ he says as soon as he sits down, and you try not to giggle when you see how his long legs don’t really fit in the space as he tries to find the seat adjust nonchalantly. ‘They mostly do burgers, but their menu is loaded with stuff, you just need to know what to ask for.’

‘I take it you know?’

He glances at you, his hand stilling momentarily as it's wedged between the door and his seat, and when he does find the button he lets out a noise of surprise as his chair suddenly shifts backwards. ‘Yeah, yeah I go there a bunch, I think I’ve tried almost everything so far.’

‘Why not get a job there instead of here if you like it so much?’ you ask as you start the engine, and he looks down at his lap in response.

‘Cause I- I actually didn’t apply to be a waiter,’ he mumbles, your head turning towards him as you pull out onto the road.

‘Did you wanna work in the kitchen or something?’

‘I wanted to be a bartender, actually, but they needed a server, so that’s what I landed on,’ he explains, and when you go to ask for the name of the place he just directs you down the street, ignoring the GPS entirely. ‘It’s actually been a little dream of mine to open my own place, but starting a business is expensive, and saving up is a little hard even with two jobs, city living isn’t cheap.’

‘You could try for a loan?’ you suggest, but he just shakes his head.

‘I dunno… going that far would make it real, y’know? I don’t think I’m ready for it yet.’ He points to the left as he speaks so you hit your blinker and turn, this is a part of town you’ve never been to before.

‘You could always try, and if it doesn’t work out then I’ll keep cheering you on until it does.’ He’s looking at you like your words are about to make him cry, and he’s so preoccupied with you that he nearly misses the restaurant, your brakes screeching down the thankfully empty road as you back up and turn into the parking lot. You’ve never even heard of this place but the lot is almost full, and you manage to find a spot before he’s getting out and waiting for you, the chill of the fresh, spring air making you both shiver and hurry inside.

The place is warm and cozy, the smell of food instantly making you hungry even though you were feeling pretty okay just moments ago, and he smiles at you before you seat yourself and wait to be served. A large menu is placed in front of you and he was right, it is mostly burgers first and foremost, but as you turn the pages and see everything else available you feel your mouth water. You look up to ask what he recommends just in time to see his eyes disappear over the top of his own menu, and you grin and decide you can’t beat the house special, which is a double bacon burger with everything on it. He orders the same as soon as you tell the waitress, a big plate of loaded fries to split as well as onion rings added as well, and when you’re left alone again you rest your elbows on the table and get his attention.

‘How long have you been coming here? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about it before,’ you admit, and again his eyes shine when you ask about him.

‘Most of my life, I used to live around here when I was younger so this was our go-to place when we wanted to eat out,’ he explains lively, and he looks around and gestures towards the decor. ‘It was different back then, they did a rebranding back in the early 2030s, changed the name and everything, but I still call it by its old name whenever I recommend it.’

‘What was the old name?’

‘The Hotel.’

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth as you try to keep it down. ‘I bet that might’ve caused some confusion,’ you chuckle, and he nods.

‘Oh yeah, I always have to correct myself,’ he agrees with his own laugh, the two of you still going even as your drinks are dropped off. You sip at yours, taking in everything and wondering what the place looked like back then when he stretches out and accidentally bumps your knee with his own; he quickly says sorry as he tries to retreat back to his side of the table, but you tell him it’s okay, and your reassurance makes him balk, like he’s been told off too many times for similar occurrences.

‘So, tell me, why do you wanna open your own bar?’ you quickly ask before he can shut himself off from you, his shyness returning and looking more like anxiety as he clearly gets in his own head about something so small.

‘Well, it’s just something I’ve always wanted to do, like I love the atmosphere, everyone coming together for a little while to share the space and a few drinks, it’s a good place to forget about your troubles for a bit.’ His eyes are on the table as he fiddles with the brown paper covering, your glasses creating dark rings where they’re set down on it.

‘You can say that about a lot of places,’ you add, and he agrees, but his eyes meet yours as he tries to get you to understand.

‘I know but there’s just something special about it, if your customers come there enough it can become familial, you can make bonds with people, offer them an ear when they’re sad, share in their laughter when they’re happy… I guess I’ve just always wanted to be a part of something like that.’ He looks back down again, the paper tearing and making him stop, now picking at his nails instead.

‘It sounds like you wanna connect with people, you don’t need a bar to do that,’ you say softly, carefully in case he might take offense to it, but he doesn’t, just shrugs.

‘I know, but… I still think it would be fun.’ His eyes meet yours again, and there’s something behind them as you look between them, something lonely that you haven’t seen in them before. You wonder then how long it’s been since he’s been here with someone, if his family still met up with him here, but based on his eyes you think you know the answer.

‘Well, if you do ever open that bar, then I expect free drinks for life as your first customer,’ you tease as you hold up your glass for a promising toast, and your faith in him makes his eyes look a little less lonely as he raises his own and taps the rims together. You drink as your waitress comes back with your food then, and it looks even better than the picture as you grab on tight and take a big bite. It’s the biggest burger you’ve ever eaten but it might also be the tastiest, the toppings sliding against your palms as you try to hold it all together, and you can see him having just as much trouble with his own. You laugh again and take another bite, your conversation moving onto more cheerful things as you eat, from family stories to complaints about work, bad dates to how your week was going, your overbearing but well-meaning mother to his absent father, but he isn’t as upset about it as he used to be as you sit with him and listen, he confesses. 

You douse your half of the fries in ketchup as he dips his own in ranch, and he has more onion rings than you do before you realize it, and when your plates are empty and your glasses hold nothing but melting ice you finally look at your phone and realize you’ve been there for over an hour. ‘Shit, I need to get back,’ he panics as he stands, and you wave over your waitress as you both get out your wallets.

‘Hey, I got you covered, can you go start my car?’ you tell him as he searches for the card he wants to use, but he can’t accept that, even more so than the tip from last week. ‘I insist, this was a much better date than my last one,’ you say with a wink, and he fumbles his next words as you toss him your keys. He rushes out with flushed cheeks, and you instantly let your emotions show on your face as you mentally ask yourself why the hell you actually said that as you pay.

You run out as soon as you’re done and speed off back to the bar, the car quiet until you say your goodbyes, and you watch him go until he disappears through the double doors with a small wave.

It becomes a bit of a thing for you two as you meet up for lunch every Friday after that, with you trying something new at his recommendation each time, and after around 7 weeks of this he flashes you the biggest smile as you sit down at your usual table, Simon already seated and waiting. ‘What?’ you ask, his smile spreading to you, and he holds out his phone to show that he had an appointment with the bank on Monday. ‘Oh my god, are you-?’

‘I’m doing it.’ He’s practically bouncing in his seat, only stopping when he bangs his knee off the metal support and makes the table shake, his excitement so strong that you could probably start bouncing as well if you were to be completely honest with yourself.

‘That’s amazing! Do you need a ride? We can go together, it’s after your shift is done, right? Or should I pick you up at your place?’

‘I-’ His smile falters a bit but he pushes it aside, and it feels a little forced as it returns. ‘I’ve got a ride covered, but thank you. Maybe we can meet up at the bank when it’s over? I can text you, if you’d like.’

‘I’d love that, I’ll be sure to work extra hard so we can celebrate the night away.’

Everything goes quiet as you realize what you’ve said, since while you have been texting almost daily you still have yet to hang out outside of your lunch dates; you’re not even really sure if they could even be called that seeing as, apart from you calling the first time that as a joke, neither of you actually confirmed there was anything more than friendship going on between you. Still, you both take it seriously as your usual waitress approaches to take your orders, and neither of you bring it back up again after she leaves.

‘I’m really proud of you, Simon, this is a big step you’re taking,’ you do say to break the silence, and when he looks at you you can swear he’s about to cry again; it actually hurts in a physical way whenever you see that, and you curse whoever beat him down enough to have this be his default reaction whenever you give him any kind of compliment or praise.

‘I don’t think I could’ve done it if you hadn’t cheered me on, might’ve found more excuses to put it off.’ He looks so vulnerable in this moment, his hands clasped on the table in front of him, and you glance down at them and nearly reach out to grab one when he continues. ‘Actually, because of you, I kinda started paying attention to my old LoveMatch account, turns out I got some messages when I was offline.’

Your smile freezes on your face as you unexpectedly go cold, your reaction to his words catching you off guard as talking becomes hard. ‘That’s… that’s wonderful news, anyone catch your eye?’ you finally ask, and he goes pink as he shakes his head.

‘Not yet, I didn’t get many but I still wanna check them all out, see if maybe my soulmate is one of them. Wait, that’s kinda desperate, isn’t it? I don’t actually think my soulmate is on some random dating site but… it’s nice to imagine, right? It’s like you said, I- I just wanna connect with someone.’ He’s looking only at his phone as he talks, scrolling through the unopened messages still waiting for him, and it feels like you’re watching the conversation from afar as your ears start ringing, your hands shaking as you try to figure out why you’re feeling this way.

He’s cute, you can’t deny that, and you enjoy his company a lot, but you haven’t thought about an actual relationship with him until this moment, when it was made apparent to you that that wasn’t what he wanted. And now that he was considering someone else, picturing a life with someone else, you know that you wanted to be with him, not in a casual, Friday lunch date and daily chats kind of way, but in the way where you’d visit him on his off hours or you’d bring him to your place, where you could have a nice dinner, watch movies together, no more table between you as you curl up against him or have him lean against you. You could hold his hand, and he could tell you about how his day at the bar, his bar, went and about all the new people he met, and when he was done you could cup that enticingly strong jaw of his and angle his face up to yours.

‘Are you okay?’

You blink and your vision blurs, and you quickly sniff and search your pockets for your travel-sized bottle of emergency ibuprofen. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m good, allergies are just acting up again, gunna go blow my nose and take my meds real quick before this gets gross,’ you lie with a fake smile, making sure he can’t see the label before you run off, and he buys it completely before going back to his messages. You don’t let your facade crack until you’re safe in the bathroom, the weight of how much you had fallen for him without realizing making your knees buckle, and you lock yourself in one of the stalls as you desperately try to push down the fact that he would never feel the same.

You’d managed to keep it together as you finished your lunch get together - not date, never date - but you spend the rest of the weekend moping around your apartment after that, your eyes on your phone as you lay on the couch and watch some old favourites to cheer yourself up, but each time he leaves you a message you feel your heart ache and it always takes a while before you can answer back. You give him the excuse of being a bit behind on work so you can’t chat much, and he was fine with that because he was gathering up the courage to message a couple people back, see if there were any sparks, and you have to ignore your phone entirely as you bury your head in the couch pillow and yell.

Before you know it you’re waking up where you’d fallen asleep, the TV going through the night and the sunlight streaming through the wall of windows to the right of your couch, the brightness rousing you from your restless dreams. You reach limply for your phone but the battery died during the night, and you groan and stumble over to your desk so you can charge it. As soon as it comes back to life you see that it’s much later than you thought thanks to your alarm never going off, and you find a bunch of messages waiting for you.

‘Shit! Shitshitshit!’ you swear when you see that Simon had asked you to wish him luck before his meeting, and you’re already a half hour late to reply but you do anyway as you fully push aside all your feelings to wish him all the luck you possibly can. He doesn’t answer back, because he’s obviously in the meeting, and you end up too nervous about it to eat as you let your phone charge. Instead you skip straight to getting ready for the day, having a quick but much needed shower after your weekend-long mope session. As you dry your hair you then find something nice to wear that you secretly hope he might like, some part of you overcoming the misery to hope that if he’s ready enough for a relationship to use LoveMatch again then maybe you could have a chance, and that hope fuels you as you race back to your phone to see if he’s done yet.

you dont need to pick me up taking a cab home see you friday

Your hand reaches up to cover your mouth as dread fills you then, and you quickly call him, unplugging your phone so you can sit down. ‘Simon, where are you?’ you ask the moment he picks up, and all you hear is the sound of traffic before a small sniff is picked up by his phone’s mic.

‘Don’t come, I just wanna get home right now,’ he tries to tell you, but your body is moving when you hear his small voice, how broken he sounds, your keys in your hand and a pair of flipflops that definitely aren’t weather appropriate yet on your feet so you can be out the door faster.

‘Are you still at the bank? Which one is it, I’m heading out right now.’

‘Please…’

‘I’m already in my car, where am I going?’

The resulting silence to your insistence stretches on for so long that you’re about to just try every bank in town until you find him when he gives you the address, and you know the one exactly as you speed off towards it. You arrive about ten minutes later, and you’re scanning the area when you see him huddling from the wind in the alley, his hood up and people giving him cautious glances as they pass. You roll down your window and call out to him, and when he finds you through the gap you can’t help but let out a noise of pain when you see his face; he’s been crying, you hadn’t been able to see because of his hood, but now you can see that his cheeks are damp and his eyes are red, and you hurriedly unlock the passenger door and motion for him to come over.

He hesitates a moment before wiping his cheeks and jogging over, people bumping into him with how busy the street is, but he doesn’t do or say anything even as he gets a couple insults along the way. He opens the door, sits down, and as soon as you ask where he wants to go he hides his face in his hand and starts crying again. You reach out to touch his shoulder but he pulls away, he needs space, and you don’t try again as you drive back to your place.

‘I don’t know why I thought I could do this…’ he mutters to himself as you drive, and the lump in your own throat is so thick that it hurts as you try to swallow it down. You pull back into your parking lot and he finally notices that he doesn’t know this place, and you don’t shut off the engine as you turn back towards him.

‘You don’t have to tell me about it, but I’d like it if you came up with me, please,’ is all you say, and another tear rolls down his cheek before he’s nodding, following you to the front doors. Your place is pretty high up but the elevator ride isn’t awkward as he stuffs himself into the corner opposite of you, where you can’t see him as easily. You reach your floor before you know it so you lead the way to your apartment, and when the door opens and you set your keys back down on the small shelf nearby he takes everything in with an even sadder expression, which isn’t the way you were hoping it would go at all.

‘You- you have a nice home,’ he just says, and before you can thank him he’s already turning back for the door. ‘I shouldn’t have come up, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t talk to me anymore, I’ll leave you alone now-’

‘Whoa, wait, where did this come from?’ you need to know as you stand in front of the door, and he goes to move you aside before pulling back, he doesn’t even want to touch you. ‘Simon, I know I said you didn’t have to talk about it but- what happened in there? Why can’t I talk to you anymore?’

‘Because I’m-’ He flinches away from you as his voice rises, frustration apparent among the sadness, and he leans against the wall with a dull thud. ‘I was accepted into the police academy a few years back, before I got my job at the bar; I was training to be on the bomb squad, I thought my knack for technology could help save lives, and I practiced really hard, learned to disarm nonlethal devices I built myself to show them I could do it, that I could be useful to them.

‘But when they learned I’d been building things they thought I was doing it for the wrong reasons even though there was no danger to them, like I was going to learn how to build actual bombs next using the training I received; I was just learning how to cut the power without setting anything off, I was using fucking coloured lights to do it, there were no explosives on my devices at all! But it was enough to make them think I was a danger to everyone, and they forced me to take a psych exam which I then failed by their standards. I was kicked out of the academy, lost my job when the psych eval was sent to them the following week, even lost my apartment when my landlord got word of everything, this one mistake got me evicted in the middle of winter-!

‘And the guy I talked to today heard about it too, read about all of it when they researched me to see if I was deserving of it, do you know what I heard him say to his supervisor when he thought I was out of earshot? He- he called me “unstable,” and fucking “unqualified” when I told him how much I make a year, like he didn’t trust me to pay it back, like I was a failure before the bar even opened, and maybe he’s right, maybe I am a failure, I shouldn’t have tried, I shouldn’t have fucking tried-!’

He spins and punches the wall he was just leaning against and you tense up, your eyes shutting on instinct at the crash of his knuckles through the drywall; it’s the first time you’ve seen him angry like this and it scares you, but as he pulls his hand back and looks at his bloodied knuckles you feel no fear, just sadness.

‘I’m sorry, shit, I’m so sorry,’ he apologizes under his breath, hissing as he flexes his fingers, his hand shaking from the pain, and it would be so easy to end it all right there, kick him out too and never see him again after what he’s just told you, just done, but you can’t as you take him gently by the arm and lead him to your couch. You sit him down and go off to find your first aid kit, some big and overly full thing your mother made you buy when you first moved to the city, and you’re thankful for it now as you pull out the unsealed bottle of healing spray and spritz it against his torn skin a couple times.

For once you love the future as he heals, and while he’s fine now you can’t help but take out the gauze and wrap the area next just to make sure, your fingers resting over the fabric and the back of his hand as you hold him in place. ‘You’re not a failure,’ you murmur, and he tries to pull away again but you don’t let him. ‘What happened to you… it really, really fucking sucks, and none of it was fair, but… it doesn’t make you a failure, we can just try again until we find someone who can help you get that loan.’

‘I don’t even want it, not after today.’ There’s not a single trace of a lie in his words, he’s giving up, and you want so badly to hold him but you can’t. ‘It’ll just happen again, this black mark on my life will just keep following me, why even try?’

‘Because it’s your dream, remember? You told me you wanted to connect with people, no one should be able to take that from you.’ You’re moving closer to him, slotting yourself between his legs as your knees hit the bottom of the couch, he can’t run from you like this, but it’s like you’re invisible to him in his misery.

‘But they already did.’

You let go of his hand and get up, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug, and he lets out a sound somewhere between surprise and relief as he’s pressed into the couch; you’re practically in his lap like this, and you try to shift until you’re beside him instead, but your arms never leave him as you back up, your frown so deep it’s starting to make your head hurt. ‘They only will when you stop fighting for it, you haven’t lost it yet,’ you tell him in a hushed whisper, and something in him breaks as he crumbles into your hug, his head on your shoulder as he grips the back of your shirt as hard as he can, like he’s drowning at sea and you’re the only thing keeping him afloat.

You pet his hair comfortingly as he keeps talking into your shoulder about how it went, how he felt so worthless when he was rejected, how he tried to explain himself but it was all shut down, the man hadn’t even wanted to hear it because he’d heard enough, how he was so upset and hurt and angry that he was afraid of himself and what he’d do, and you just comfort him as he lets it all out. It takes a while but you never rush him, or interrupt him as he vents, you just keep holding him until he’s ready to let you go. You separate, and his eyes are so red as they avoid looking at you, but you just brush his bangs to the side before getting up and grabbing the tissues.

You hand him the box, and the smile he gives you isn’t as sad as he grabs a few, the lump in your throat easing up a bit at the sight. ‘I know you probably aren’t in the mood to celebrate, but if you just wanna grab some food and watch a movie anyway I could order something, or make something here? I think the Hotel might deliver this far, lemme see if it’s on Dumbwaiter.’ You’re already on your phone to check but he’s standing, his used tissues bunched in his hand as he looks for your garbage bin, his eyes on the ground again.

‘I’m not very hungry, thank you but I think I just wanna head home,’ he says after throwing them away, and your hand lowers as you take a step towards him, standing between him and the door again.

‘Please.’ You don’t mean for it to come out but it does, this is about him, not you, you have no right to ask him to stay when he needs space, but you can’t leave him like this, not now. Finally he meets your eye, and you can see that he wants to stay as badly as you want him to, and he opens his mouth to say something before he closes the gap, stands next to you and looks down at your phone. He taps your screen back to life and scrolls before he finds the Hotel’s real name in the list of places on Dumbwaiter’s delivery partnership, and he gives the name another tap before giving you the smallest smile, and it’s genuine and even less sad as his shoulder presses into yours.

‘Order the pasta today, all of their sauces are rich and they always serve too much, and get us the goat cheese spinach dip, it’s to die for,’ he says, his voice still wavering a bit after all his crying, and you just nod before adding it all to your cart, Simon taking off his shoes so he can get comfy on your couch properly this time. You pay for the meal and join him, offering him the remote but he has nothing he wants to watch, so you go to your favourites and pick the stupidest, funniest comedy you can find, needing something silly to lift the mood, and as the food is delivered and you both laugh with full mouths that almost get you to choke you end up wishing you could have this forever, that you could move to his side and hold him again.

You don’t, your phones on the coffee table along with your plates, the space between you feeling so much wider than it actually was as he stays with you until the sun sets.

Now that he’s been to your place your friendship only grows, your meetups changing from Friday lunches to properly hanging out, and it isn’t often he gets free time between his two jobs, but most nights of his are free and you’re always ready to drop whatever you can to see him when he asks. Because of your eagerness you’re slowly becoming a pro at keeping up with your own work, the need to procrastinate fading away like never before since being caught up meant you could go to him wherever he waited. You met him at both jobs, at the Hotel - which he got you to start saying as well since he never called it by its real name - and at the park, sometimes at the mall if there was something he needed to get and he wanted some company, but you’ve still never seen his place, and you’re starting to wonder where he lived.

You know it’s in town, since he got to and from work via Brougham and being outside of town would be hell on his paychecks, but you have no idea which part other than the fact that he used to live near the Hotel when he was a kid. You’ve tried asking before, but each time you do he just brushes it off, makes some excuse to why you couldn’t pick him up or drop him off there, and you’re starting to get a bit suspicious if you were entirely honest. You know he’s not homeless, he’s told you before how it took him a bit but he did manage to find someplace permanent and all his after his eviction, but this is getting ridiculous you think when he comes up with yet another excuse as to why you can drop him off on this random street you’re driving down, he lives nearby, he can walk the rest of the way.

‘Simon, you’ve got six bags of groceries in the back seat, it is literally impossible for you to walk home with them all,’ you say firmly as he just keeps looking out the window, and his lips purse as he tries something else.

‘It isn’t far and they’re not that heavy, I can do three per hand,’ he insists, and you step on the brakes in the middle of the road, no one coming or going as he jerks forwards in his seat at the inertia.

‘Why don’t you want me to see your place?’ you ask bluntly, no longer holding back, and he gets defensive, he’s more open with his anger around you now, but he hasn’t gotten as upset since that day, and you know it’s because he doesn’t want to lose control again, doesn’t want to scare you or himself like that again.

‘I never said I didn’t.’

‘You don’t need to; is it bad neighbours, or a bad neighbourhood? I don’t care where you live, or what your place looks like, I swear I don’t, so you don’t have to keep me away,’ you tell him honestly, and for a moment you think he might tell you when he unlocks his door and heads to the back. You just sigh as he gathers everything up in both hands and thanks you for the ride, but it really is close, you don’t have to waste gas going the rest of the day, he’ll see you Friday.

‘And… you don’t wanna know where I live,’ he mutters mostly to himself before the door closes, and he’s clearly weighed down by everything but he sticks with it, and you watch him just keep going further and further down the street until you have no choice but to take a U-turn and head home, and he’s still in your rearview as you hit a right and he’s forced to disappear around the corner behind you.

It’s a little awkward for you both after that, so you don’t bring it up again to make sure things even out, and it seems to help as you keep meeting up everywhere but his place, wherever the hell it is. He’s been to yours enough times now that you almost consider giving him a spare key so he can invite himself over, but it feels too personal for friends, and when you joke about it to test the waters he nearly spits out his drink in surprise. You clarify that it’s a joke as he sputters out that he’s never had someone’s spare key before, he’s never known anyone long enough for that.

‘You’ve known me for quite a few months now, maybe it might come in handle to have a spare out there in case of emergencies,’ you say next, instantly backtracking on the joke aspect of it with a little hope, and despite you initially calling it so he also looks a little hopeful at the possibility before his phone pings loudly. The moment is ruined as he stops your post-lunch walk through the park to see who’s messaging him, and his eyes widen as his smile grows and his face flushes. ‘LoveMatch, I assume?’ you ask, your teeth clenching in jealousy behind your smile.

‘Yeah, I’ve been messaging this one girl, Jeannie, a few days now,’ he tells you as he clicks in to see what she said, and his smile is so bright at her reply that you feel your stomach drop, your jealousy transforming into something that feels so much worse. ‘I think I’m gunna ask her on a date soon, when I can get an afternoon off so we don’t meet up too late, what do you think? Or should we talk a bit more first?’

The urge to tell him he should definitely talk more first arises because it’s true, you know what meeting too soon can do to a relationship before you can get a better feel for someone, but you also want them to meet before they’re ready; you want her to go in blind because you already know how to talk to him, know that there’s no way she’ll be able to get him out of his shell enough to consider a second date. You know he’ll be nervous, so he might say something weird like he did that first time you chatted over Facsimile, and if he does then there’s a good chance she might leave the date not wanting more.

You can’t do that though, you don’t want to see him rejected like that ever again after the loan, so you ball up your fist and give him a playful tap to the shoulder as he waits for your response. ‘Give it a little more time, get to know each other better, the perfect time for a date will show itself eventually, and if it doesn’t then maybe it’s just not meant to be,’ you suggest, and he nods before one-handedly typing out a reply back to her and putting his phone away. 

‘You’re so good with this kinda stuff, I haven’t been on a real date before, it’s why I signed up for LoveMatch to begin with, so I never know where to start whenever I get a match,’ he confesses as you go back to walking, your fist still balled painfully as you hide it in your jacket pocket. 

‘I’ve been on way too many bad dates by now, I’d like to think I’m a bit of an expert on it.’ Your laugh is strained but he doesn’t seem to notice as he looks straight ahead, his cheeks still pink now that she’s on his mind.

‘I can’t wait to meet her, she works at a flower shop nearby but I haven’t been in yet, I don’t wanna creep her out or anything,’ he says as his shyness crops up again, his expression cute until you remember this isn’t for you, it’s for her.

‘Just keep talking to her and it’ll happen, and who knows? Maybe she’ll like you as mu-’ You stop yourself from saying, ‘as much as I do,’ the words unable to come out as he turns to face you with a curious expression. ‘As much as I know she will,’ you finish, and he grins at the ground before taking another drink, your shoulders bumping for just a moment before he steps to the left to give you a bit more space, and you have to grip the inside of your pocket to keep from pulling him back to you.

About a week later he messages you as you’re working, your phone lighting up and buzzing energetically near your hand, and when you open the chat he tells you that she asked him on a date. Your face falls as you force a smile he can’t see, your thumbs typing him a congrats you don’t mean, not entirely, and when he says that he’s going to take her to the park you feel almost betrayed; you know it’s not your park, it’s just someplace you visit sometimes, it wasn’t like he was bringing her to the Hotel for lunch, that would hurt so much worse.

He then says he’s been thinking about packing a picnic since it felt more romantic, and that he was going to bring roses in her favourite colours since she told him she couldn’t decide between red or orange when they were talking about it, and you almost put down your phone as your chest aches. You want it to be you, you want him to ask you to the park for a picnic, you want to be able to pack your own favourites to share with him there now that the weather is nice again, you want him to bring you roses in your favourite colours even though you’re not even that much of a flower person just because they’re from him and he’s thinking of you.

You want to be her.

You tell him that that sounds like a great idea, she’ll love it, he should tell you how it goes afterwards if he wants to, which he does, since you’re his friend.

You’re his friend.

You send him a bunch of fingers crossed emojis and get back to work so he can start planning, the date is this weekend after all and he has things he has to do now, and when you go to bed that night your thumb hovers over the Sign Up button on LoveMatch’s mobile app until you fall asleep.

Three days later you find yourself lurking outside of the park even though you fought all morning not to, not knowing the exact time they were going to meet up and spending every second continuing that fight as you tell yourself to leave before you got hurt even more. You parked a block away so he wouldn’t recognize your car, and you’re wearing one of your thicker hoodies that you prefer to save for colder weather even though it’s making you sweat like crazy, the hood up as you walk around and see if you can find him. You’ve been there for hours now when you finally decide to go, this was stupid and petty and way too jealous to be acceptable no matter how you felt for him, and just as you’re about to leave you hear his voice echo faintly across the open area.

You look over and see him approach an unfamiliar woman, Jeannie, a big bouquet of roses in his hand and his Brougham waiting for him with an open door by the curb where he was dropped off at. He waves nervously at her, and she flashes him a big smile as he hands her the roses, she seems happy about them, and they chat for a little bit as you get a good vantage point behind a nearby tree. There’s people looking at you as they pass but you don’t care, you can’t leave now, and your jealousy turns to shocked offense as you watch her expression slowly fall.

She’s uncomfortable, he’s said something that she didn’t like just like you’d feared, and he picks up on it and motions for her to wait before he jogs back to the car, he’s still going to try and fix it with the picnic. The moment he’s away from her she puts the roses down on the bench they’re standing by and bails, her footsteps fast as she puts as much distance between them before his return, and your body moves on its own as you want to chase her down, demand to know why she did that. You lose her as you hear him come back to the bench, his voice calling out to her again but she’s long gone, and you freeze with your back to him as you hear him set down the basket, his car already driving off and stranding him there.

The lump is already forming in your throat again when you hear your phone go off, and when you pick up and turn to face him he’s already looking at you, having heard the ringtone you’d assigned to him from your short distance away. He looks hurt at your presence at first, then upset, then angry, and he leaves both the roses and the basket behind as he starts to walk away.

‘Simon, wait,’ you call out to him as you race after him, his long legs carrying him farther and faster as you quickly catch up, but you being there is just insult to injury and he does not want you to be there for him today.

‘You saw it all, didn’t you?’ he demands as he just keeps walking with no destination, needing to get away from you and his heartbreak as fast as he can, and you try to walk backwards in front of him but you can’t keep the pace, not when he keeps changing directions every time you catch up.

‘I’m sorry, I wanted to make sure it went okay,’ you confess before you can come up with yet another lie, and he scoffs at it bitterly.

‘Wanted to make sure I didn’t fuck it up like the loan, right? Well, sorry to break it to you, but I fucked it up again, I’m just one big fuckup!’ He takes another sharp turn to try and lose you in a dense crowd but you grab onto him, use him like an anchor as he tries to jerk away enough to make you let go, but your grip is strong and true as not even that works. 

‘You aren’t a fuckup!’ you insist desperately in a too loud voice for being in public, a group of mothers with strollers giving you the dirtiest look at your language, but you just give them a ‘give me a break’ look back before turning your attention back to him. ‘She just doesn’t know you yet, what did you say? Maybe you can still fix it? Or you could try one of your other matches? She isn’t the only one out there, you don’t need her!’

‘I told her that I wanted to meet her at work,’ he says, and that’s not so bad until he explains why it upset her. ‘I told her that I saw her place of work in the trashed data and I wanted to surprise her by ordering the roses from her, and she didn’t like it.’

Yeah, that’ll do it.

‘She- she didn’t get that you weren’t looking her up to doxx her or stalk her or anything?’ you hurriedly ask, and he just shakes his head, his pace slowing as you exit the main road and head down a less busy street, somewhere more private, probably unintentionally on his part.

‘No, I tried to explain that but her expression said it all, and when I got back…’ He slows even more, you both know how it ended and his lip is quivering. ‘She didn’t even have to guts to say goodbye, she just wanted to leave me there like I could be thrown out like the roses, like trash, that fucking bitch!’ He kicks the trashcan you’re about to pass and it crashes hard to the ground, the contents spilling all over the sidewalk as he loses control of his anger again. ‘I’m a person, goddamnit, why does this keep…’

You step around the trash as the wind blows it into your path, creating a river between the two of you that you cross to get to him, and this time when you try to hug him he steps back, puts a hand up to keep you away.

‘Don’t, just- don’t, I can’t be touched by you right now,’ he says softly, and he isn’t crying but he looks about to as you obediently back up, the trash spreading around you and making the river swell. ‘I’m going home, I’m sorry you keep having to deal with me.’

You try to tell him otherwise but he isn’t listening as he pulls up his hood and heads back to the main road, a cab hailed before he gets in and drives away, leaves you there alone. You lower your own hood and unzip your hoodie so your body can cool a little as you walk back to your car, and when you reach the bench you see that there’s a small group of concerned people gathering around the basket, all of them clearly thinking that it might be something dangerous.

‘That’s mine, sorry, it’s just a picnic,’ you say as you approach it, and everyone can’t help but peer inside as you prove it to them. In that quick glimpse you can see that he worked hard on the contents within, he made a whole bunch and even grabbed a few different drinks as well as a bottle of wine to split, and you swallow as you relatch the lid and grab the handle. The roses are still there too and you pick them up, they’re the synthetic kind you can tell as their scent is muted compared to the real thing, he wanted her to keep them for a while without them dying, and you hold them close to your chest as you finish the trek to your car.

You don’t look at the items in your passenger seat until you get home, and when you reach your apartment you put the flowers in a waterless vase and spread out the picnic on your coffee table. You choose your favourite drink, of course he would’ve brought it out of all the possible options, and open up the wine as well as you enjoy the picnic by yourself, not wanting to let it go to waste as you try not to notice how large your couch was without him there to enjoy it with you.

He ignores your messages for a while after that, so you stop texting him to give him some space, but that doesn’t stop you from at least typing everything out and deleting it before the temptation to press send overtakes you. You look him up on LoveMatch and see that he’s offline, and after looking up Jeannie’s name you discover a recent post she made in the site’s forums section; you click in and see that she completely tried to ruin his reputation on the site, warning others to stay away from him, calling him creepy and a stalker and claiming that he would doxx any matches. Your heart races as the comments join in, insulting his picture and saying he looked like a creep, how some said they had messaged him but now they were going to block, thanking her for the warning and telling her how sorry they were for having to deal with that.

You nearly come to his rescue but there’s no point, they’ve already made up their minds, and you instead flag the post as harassment and pray that it got taken down before he saw it.

He’s seen it.

He sends you the link without another word, your request to remove it denied, and when you look for his profile you find it gone.

He misses your next Friday lunch, and you figure enough is enough as you decide that if he wasn’t going to talk to you then you were going to talk to him. You wait until he gets off work before parking across from the bar, and you keep your distance as he hails a ride and heads home for the night. Your hands are gripping the wheel way too hard the entire way there, and when the car turns into a large, mostly empty lot sans a bunch of trailers parked inside as well as a few storage containers and miscellaneous vehicles and construction things for the building across the street you just keep going and pretend like you weren’t just following him. You wait until his ride leaves as you park nearby, and you casually walk up to the one you saw him heading for and hope that he won’t kick you out immediately as you knock on the door.

There’s the sound of stumbling from inside until the door opens and you step out of its way, Simon just looking at you before a cacophony of emotions plays across his face. ‘Hey,’ you say when he doesn’t shut the door right away, ‘you stopped answering my messages, I wanted to make sure you were okay.’

‘So you followed me?’ He’s more surprised than angry, which is good, but you don’t know how long it’ll last so you talk fast, needing to get it out while you have the chance.

‘You never told me where you lived, I improvised, I’m not the one with access to trashed data here,’ you try to joke, but neither of you laugh as you just stand there on his makeshift porch, which is just big enough to hold a single lawn chair and nothing else, another sign of his isolation.

‘I never wanted you to come here,’ he mutters just quietly enough that you almost miss it, and when you lean in to listen his expression hardens. ‘Your place is so nice, you’ve got a nice view, everything is so open, you do so well for yourself. But me, even with two jobs this is all I can afford, I can’t save up for my bar when I have bills to pay, can’t get a loan because I can’t pay it off if it fails, you’ve got everything so put together and I’m-’ He stops, he’s been looking at the ground the entire time but when he falls silent he makes a point to purposefully not look at you, and you can see the shine in his eyes as he shifts from foot to foot, resists slamming the door in your face. ‘I’m a fucking loser.’

‘You’re not-’

‘I got kicked out of the academy, I got evicted, I got denied for my loan, I got dumped before my date even started and now every other match I made has me blocked, I live in a fucking trailer because I can’t afford rent in the city anymore and it’s cheap to live out this far, how am I not a loser?’ He quiets down when he starts yelling out all the reasons why he was worthless, his voice echoing over the lot, and he tries to shut the door when your hand shoots out and holds it open the second you see it move. ‘I just- I don’t understand why you keep talking to me after all that, why do you keep coming back? Why haven’t you left like everyone else? Why won’t you just- leave me alone…?’

You swallow and walk up the two-step stairs, Simon backing up until you let yourself in, the door shutting behind you and trapping your voices inside so they can’t carry anymore. ‘Because none of that defines you, it happened to you but that isn’t who you are,’ you tell him, and he’s hunched over now that he’s inside, the ceiling not high enough to accommodate him in his own home.

‘And who am I?’ he asked pathetically, but you don’t see him as pathetic, not even now as you see his home and how bare it is, the nicest thing he owns his computer over by the far window, the setup grand and expensive looking, and you fondly think to yourself that he probably built it all himself.

‘You’re smart, you’re so fucking smart, and you’re easy to talk to, and you’re a bit weird sometimes, and you word things kinda badly at the worst of times but you’re not a creep, and you’re passionate about what you want and it’s so unfair that no one’s given you a proper chance, or gotten to know the real you, not just what they’ve heard and assumed about you. You’re not a bad guy, you’re more than your black marks, you’re Simon.’

He blinks and a tear falls from his eye to the floor thanks to the angle his neck is forced to be, but he never sits even though it must be hurting him, and you wonder if maybe you’ve gotten through to him when he catches you completely off guard with what he says next: ‘Would you still think that if you knew the real me?’

‘What do you mean?’ You’ve known him for half a year now, there wasn’t any side of him you hadn’t seen yet, but apparently there was as another tear falls.

‘I killed someone, about five years ago now.’

You stagger back into the door, the wind knocked out of you at this revelation, and he shuts his eyes and looks away from your expression as one of pain takes over his own face. ‘What are you talking about?’ you ask quietly, your voice failing you the first time you try, and he flinches at your words like you’d just screamed them in his face.

‘Back when I was evicted I was looking for people to room with, just temporarily until I could get back on my feet, and this guy had answered my ad, invited me over to check out his place. I should’ve been more cautious but it was so cold I couldn’t wait, and when I got there he tried to mug me, take whatever I had left. I fought back in self-defense, but when I almost got away he started attacking me, wanted to keep me there until his actual roommate got home so he had help, and I-’ He sits down then, his hands shaking as he goes back to that time, and your back leaves the door as he looks up at you with such sadness that your chest feels hollow. ‘He tried to kill me, I was only trying to defend myself, I didn’t mean to hurt him so bad, I just wanted to find somewhere to stay, it was so cold outside…’

‘What happened after that?’ You think you might’ve just mouthed the words with how much your voice breaks, but he understands you anyways.

‘The roommate came home while I- while it was happening, called the cops, and when they saw me standing there covered in blood, holding the knife still, they instantly ruled it as a homicide and arrested me. I was able to plead not guilty but they took one look at my bad psych eval and thought I’d snapped, killed him outta malice or something, it was only by a miracle that the evidence was in my favour.’

‘And the roommate?’

‘They searched the place and found evidence of all the others before me that’d fallen for the con, he was charged and arrested and I made bail, but after that my mother never talked to me again, even though I was acquitted.’ It looks like a weight’s been lifted now that he’s said it, but he also looks so fucking tired, most of him taking up his small loveseat couch. You want to go to him but you can’t move, your body refusing to shift even an inch in case he didn’t want you to, and he looks you over before something in his eyes begs you please; you let out a small noise as you fall to the ground between his knees, your hand holding his just like you had when you’d wrapped him up.

‘Why are you still here? Why haven’t you thrown me out yet?’ he weakly asks you, and you can’t lie to him any longer as you hold his hand up to your cheek.

‘Don’t you know what you mean to me?’ you need to know, your voice so small that again you’re not even sure if any of it even comes out, and he lets out a breath that sounds so desperate and broken it makes you wonder just how long he’s been holding it: days, weeks, months, since the moment you met?

‘I didn’t want to hope- you… you’re my only friend, I didn’t want to ruin everything and lose you too,’ he whispers as he properly holds you, his palm so warm against your skin, and you lean into his touch as you let out the breath you were holding in return.

‘You almost broke my heart when you said you went back to LoveMatch, I wanted to tell you so badly,’ you’re finally able to confess, and when you do his other hand finds your arm, holds you with just enough pressure that you know he wants you there.

‘Why didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t want to ruin everything either.’

He leans forward until his forehead rests against yours, and when you open your eyes and look into his you can see everything you ever wanted again, all of it feeling so real and within reach as you brush his bangs aside, rest your hand on the back of his neck. His other hand comes up to cup your other cheek, and he’s shaking slightly like he’s afraid to touch you even though he already is because this time it’d be his decision to, his lips parting as he stares down at your own, and when he touches you you lean up and close the space between you.

He sighs against your mouth as you kiss him, it so full of relief and contentment and joy, and you wrap your arms around his neck again as you successfully sit in his lap this time. His lack of experience is apparent but you have no complaints as you deepen the kiss, needing more now that you could have it, and he lets you have everything you ever wanted as he leans back against the cushions until his head hits the metal wall behind him. He mutters an ow as he lets go of you to rub his head, and you laugh before catching his mouth again, which he eagerly allows you to do; he eats up all your attention, starving for it as he gets more into it, needing whatever you can give after so many rejections, and you’re happy to give it all back as you kiss his neck.

‘I was so proud of you when you told me you were trying for the loan, I really wanted to celebrate with you,’ you whisper into his skin, and you can feel him shiver as he lets out a soft moan and tilts his head to the side so you have easier access. ‘You’ve been trying so hard, please let me reward you, I want to be the first to…’

He moans your name as his hips start to move, try to find friction against you, and you shift until he does, his jaw going slack as he holds you by your thighs, perfects the angle even more.

‘When I saw you with her I wanted it to be me, I hated myself for wanting her to go, but she didn’t deserve you, I’ll never leave, and I want the next time we meet to be a real date, whether it’s at the Hotel or the park or my place or here, I want to be with you.’

He makes a noise of pure want, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tries to swallow back the sob that follows, he was always weak to your compliments but you need him to know how worth it he is to you, how much he deserves this after everything he’s been through.

‘You’re wonderful, I love spending time with you, you’re everything I want.’

A tear escapes between his tightly shut eyelids and you kiss it away before going to his jaw, pressing your lips along it before you find his mouth again.

‘I really like you, Simon, you mean so much to me, I’m so glad I got to meet you.’

He’s practically whimpering in your lap as he cries harder, his hips never stopping, he needs this so much but so do you, and you let him use you as the growing pressure wrenches a moan from your lips.

‘I love-’

You don’t get to finish as he comes apart underneath you, his body shuddering as he grips you tight and gasps out a series of choked out moans, your eyes fluttering shut as you feel it all travel from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. You feel the heat between your thighs as he slowly catches his breath, his cheeks turning red under streams of tears in embarrassment for coming from just this much, but you just kiss the tip of his nose and rest your chest against his, let him feel how hard your heart was beating.

‘I love you,’ you whisper now that you can, and he looks at you like you’ve just given him the sun and the moon on a golden platter.

‘I’m so glad I texted you back then,’ he confesses against your cheek, his hands leaving your thighs to rest on your back, keeping you close, ‘I think I started to love you the moment you wanted to actually talk to me.’

‘Lucky for me your standards are so low,’ you joke, but it falls flat in the best of ways as he nuzzles into your neck.

‘It was all I needed, I just wanted someone to believe in me.’ He presses a single kiss to the space where your neck meets your shoulder, and your nails scrape lightly against his scalp as you let out a sigh at the feeling.

‘I told you, I’ll keep cheering you on until it works,’ you remind him, and he sits up straight so he can hold you even closer in his hug, your bodies fitting together perfectly as you hold him back and don’t let go.

The snow is falling lightly outside as you stretch in your chair, your back cracking as you raise your arms high above your head. You’re all done for the day, everything on your list checked off as you glance at the time and see that it’s almost 8PM, he’ll be there soon. You stand and bring the feeling back to your legs before grabbing the remote and turning on the TV, queuing up the next episode of the show you’re marathoning only one at a time each night. You let the recap and intro play and then press pause, it’s nearly time now, and you’re in the middle of grabbing the plates and utensils when you hear a knock at the door. You unlock it and open up to reveal Simon on the other side, all bound up in a large winter jacket, his scarf pulled up high enough to cover his nose and mouth from the cold.

‘You forget your key at work again?’ you tease as he walks in, trailing snow over to the mat where he can take his boots off.

‘Kinda hard to unlock the door with both hands full,’ he points out with a smirk as he then sets the food brought from said work on the table. ‘It’s busy tonight despite the snow, lots of people coming in to escape the chill, had to order these early to make sure they were done on time.’

‘You know I can always make something before you get back, you don’t have to keep bothering Elison over it,’ you remind him, but he won’t hear of it, he loves being able to bring you back something so you don’t have to stop working until you’re ready and you know it.

‘I convinced him to leave the Hotel to come work for me, might as well use him,’ is what he has to say to that, and you can’t argue with it as you both transfer your dinners onto the plates you set out. ‘Besides, it’s the only way I can get my favourites without having to drive across town, that’s a good enough reason to keep bothering him.’

You hum in agreement as you sit down together, the episode playing as soon as you’re settled, and when you’re done eating he curls up next to you, rests his head against your shoulder even though it hurts his neck. You take pity on him and adjust so he can lay more properly, his face still red from the winter chill, and you find yourself paying more attention to him until he feels your eyes on him.

‘You think we can do two episodes tonight before you go back? We’re so close to the season finale,’ you plead in that tone of voice that always gets him, and he looks like he really wants to say yes but he can’t, he doesn’t like leaving the place for so long as is even though his staff is more than capable of watching over things for an hour without him; outside of the weekend it’s the only time you can be together until he gets home at 2AM, when you’re already asleep most nights, and before he leaves again by 9AM, at least until the new year where he plans on hiring more staff if things keep getting better.

‘Not tonight, maybe tomorrow if it’ll calm down when the storm hits, I’ll call it early if it’s bad enough,’ he promises, and you smile and hold his hand as you rewind the episode back to before you stopped watching.

‘Should I be so jealous of a bar?’ you ask rhetorically, and he answers you yes before you playfully hit him and press play again. ‘Maybe I should start working for you part-time, I miss our Friday lunches, you’re too busy for me now.’

‘I’m never too busy for you,’ he reassures you so gently and genuinely before kissing you, the scene you just rewound to getting ignored again as you don’t let him go after just one. ‘I wouldn’t mind having you there, though, even if I think we might not get a lot done whenever you’re there.’

‘I’m just trying to make some C0NN3CT10N$,’ you say as slowly and as slyly as you can, drawing out the word as he just stares at you, ‘y’know like the bar’s na-’

He silences you with another kiss, this one a little more chaste as he laughs against your lips. ‘Yeah, yeah I know,’ he chuckles, and once again the episode is rewound so you can watch it, your arms around him for the rest of the hour he sets aside just for you each night, and in your head you make a mental note to thank your mother for recommending that son of a friend of a friend of a co-worker 10 months too late as he lovingly holds you right back.

[yaksha-lover]

Yo yo sorry if this ask is odd I have experienced hell in the past few days as per the monthly schedule and since I'm fixated upon your vampire AU I was wondering if you'd be cool with me sending in an ask about what it'd be like to deal with having a period when surrounded by vampires.

(gonna refer to the reader as 'the resident human' using they/them pronouns sorry if it gets a bit muddled idk how to word this ask haha)

Content warning: I'm gonna mention periods / shark week / the blood moon / womb blender hours / scheduled monthly hell, etc.

From 1-10 how would you rate how sucky it'd be to have a period in a house full of vampires? Like, on one hand, some of them are probably either avoiding (Riddle) or even stalking (Rook perhaps) their resident human...

But on the other hand, if the human in cramp hell - I'm under the impression that the vampire bites could potentially counteract that to some degree right? Like they'd get rid of some of the pain (rip my anemic ass tho lmao)

Also there's the fact that Lilia's been around long enough to know what's going on and, as per the vampire sense of smell and whatnot, I'd like to imagine he knows before it starts and necessary supplies just sorta show up wherever the resident human will find them when they need them. Plus he's making sure they eat plenty of spinach or similar foods they might need and whatnot.

Uhhh I can't think of anything else lol. Sorry if this was an odd ask, it's kinda been on my mind a while so I figured I might as well share my thoughts. Have a nice day and stay hydrated ( ・⁠∀⁠・⁠) 👍

Lmao you’re all good, I’ve actually answered a couple of asks about periods before: x x

tw: periods, slightly gross (??)

I would say though, because period blood isn’t the same as regular blood, it’s not going to make them act so differently like they would if you had a wound. However, it’s kinda similar so (this might be gross) but I feel like vampires might like the smell of the pheromones cause heightened sense of smell. In that sense, it’s more like a perfume than a food, yk?

Some more shy would definitely blush and avoid MC during this time (Riddle like you mentioned, Adeuce, Jack, Epel, Idia, Sebek).

The more bold vampires would probably act more clingy than usual (Leona, Floyd, Rook) - They are also volunteering their bite to help you out. Despite their unashamed behaviour, they will make sure to keep you comfortable and not take too much blood.

The rest are pretty normal I think, they can control themselves and have the decency to ignore it.

Lilia’s dad energy comes out. You ask him to buy you pads one time and suddenly there’s an entire closet full of a million different supplies, literally anything you could need. Him and the others would be pretty sympathetic to your plights and would be happy to take care of anything you need.

Also you don’t need to track your cycle, Lilia would just be like, hey btw you’re menstruating next week. He knows before you do lol.

So if 1 is hell and 10 is a normal day, I feel like it’s a solid 7/10 at least. You might have to deal with some clingy and awkward guys, but even someone like Leona would take care of you, even if he grumbled while doing it lol.

[1wishand1thought]

MY SNEAKY LITTLE FOX| PART 2

Kaz Brekker x Fem. Y/N

Here you have part 1, in case you haven't read it yet: part 1

Summary: Kaz struggles to keep y/n out of his mind, her absence making him worried about the possibility of losing his most secret investment. The uncertainty of her presence in Ketterdam forces him to get into deep waters, using his knowledge to get to where she lives, only to find himself lost in the sound of her voice.

Warnings: NSFW/ Nudity descriptions, naughty vocabulary(is that even the right word? I only see this as poetic writing lmao, OKAY SORRY. let's continue).

A/N: OH SAINTS THIS ONE WAS A WHOLE CHALLENGE GUYS. I had a clear path to write this, and then a million Kruge stepped in my way avoiding me to keep going. Seriously, I lost motivation like Jesper lost money when betting. Anyway I hope you like it, it's a bit longer than the first one, I'll put the word count later. LOVE YOU, TKYSM FOR 114 NOTES IN PART 1🫶🏻🥹

Wordcount: 3417.

A week had passed since the incident. A whole damn week where her inner struggles to not think of him just got worse.

The night washed over the city, only with the twilight and the stars flickers enlightening the dark and empty streets of the city. She was in her house now, an underground place in Ketterdam.

Y/n paced back and forth as if she was trying to solve a puzzle to finally ease her thoughts, but instead, failed every time. Her mind kept replaying his voice, as she had memorized every detail, treating it like a meticulous plan: no flaws or loose ends. All she wanted was to forget him, to comply with the words that left his mouth like a hundred bullets:

"You better keep your mouth shut and never bring this up in a conversation ever again, y/n... Or else you'll regret it for the rest of your days," he had warned her back then, as he covered his bare hands with a pair of leathery gloves.

She regretted everything about that night; the way his neck seemed so tight, as if he was a disguised thief, holding back a painful scream. She remembered how the vein on the side of his forehead pumped fiercely as if it was trying to break free from his face. Anger rose inside her.

Why did he let her watch?

Was that a sort of "taunting you because I know all your secrets" improvised joke? Because yes, she felt the heat and arousal bubbling inside her when he fidgeted with his shaft that night. She even felt as if she was the damn cock in his hands.

But did he know all her secrets? Did he know that she hadn't reached the climax in years? Perhaps he even knew where she lived. It aggravated her that he let her see him in such a vulnerable state, so intime, so... appealing.

A tattoo was carved into her frightened mind. Did he do it to taunt her, then? Does he know all about her?

She discarded every suggestion. The only personal information she had divulged to Kaz was her name and skills. She had also warned him to keep her recruitment a secret, and maybe she had even mentioned how she preferred to keep to herself rather than socialize with the people of Ketterdam. So all her personal information was deeply buried in her mind.

What she had yet to realize was that Kaz had her entire birth chart stored in a well-guarded section of his restless brain. He always found a way to know everything, as he couldn't bear not knowing it all.

He somehow, and with the help of his witty brain, managed to get her full name and the address to her place. He had also discovered details about her lineage and parents, who were long gone either to hell or with the saints. It wasn't much, but considering the time it took him to obtain such valuable information, it was certainly something.

Y/n hadn't even sneaked near the Barrel to eavesdrop from outside Kaz's office. Her eyes were glued to the stonewall in front of her now, and the cold moonlight brought back memories of Kaz's figure. His image haunted her like a nightmare, constantly invading her thoughts for the past seven days.

She needed to let go, but she was certain she couldn't do it. She hissed in frustration, her back landing on the bed behind her. The cold bedspread sent shivers through her warm body. She was only wearing her underclothes, as she was alone in her home.

The place had no walls dividing the spaces except for the bathtub and toilet in the corner, where no natural light reflected on the porcelain washbasin or bath other than the warm light of the candles she had spread there.

Her gaze drifted back to the long, narrow window that looked out onto the bustling street above. In the morning and through the murky glass, she could make out the feet of pedestrians as they hurried past. It was a small connection to the outside world that faded at night. No pedestrians were outside now, mostly because all the nearby buildings were full of early workers and showmen waiting for the early hours to head back to their workspaces.

A few candles illuminated the dining room placed a few steps away from the kitchen, the warm light spread only to the border of her bed and collided with the cold tone of the moon. Still, the kitchen was dark, as the candlelight reflected on the only tall furniture in the kitchen. The stone step separating the table from her bedroom space prevented her from having a clear view of the entrance.

Back at the club, Kaz's stress had accumulated in the last few days and had now reached its peak. He fidgeted with the crow head holder of his cane as he sat in his office, his eyes fixated on the wall, his breath coming out in short, heavy gasps. His free hand tightly gripped the edge of his desk, causing his knuckles to turn white beneath the fabric.

To his right, a half-empty bottle of brandy sat on his desk, and untouched papers and bills piled up in a messy tower before him. He couldn't focus on them, not with her image haunting his thoughts.

《Where are you?》 he wondered as his mind drifted back to her face. He could recall the subtle movements of her thighs, the panic in her blushed cheeks as she tried not to get caught. It was all too appealing.

It was for the best that he cut the emotional ties with her. He had a club to run, money to make, and he couldn't afford any distractions. But he needed her for the job. He needed her unique set of skills. The way she could vanish into the shadows of Ketterdam like Inej once did. The only difference between them being a few distinguishable features.

He considered going to check if she was there, fearing that she might have left Ketterdam after their last encounter. He needed to be certain of her presence, otherwise, he would have to find someone else to do her job, which he didn't want to do.

As time passed, his anxiety grew, and he was unable to shake the memories of her from his mind. His thoughts were in turmoil, and he knew he needed to find a way to focus before it was too late. It shouldn't have been difficult to concentrate, given that he didn't like her.

Kaz didn't even realize when he left his office, unconsciously stepping out and leaving his cane on his desk. He didn't scold Jesper for flirting with Wylan at the bar when he was supposed to be working. Of course, the couple wondered where their boss was going, but neither of them dared to ask him about it. He seemed lost in thought as his leg wobbled a bit from the imbalance. His frown was deeper than usual, and one of his gloved hands was clenched into a fist at his side.

Fortunately, her place was not too far from the club, but it was far enough that, as if by a miracle, her slightly warm body became warmer, her cheeks flushed, and eventually, after a few minutes, she found herself breathing heavily. Her hands moved in time with her thoughts, and the images of Kaz, so vivid in her mind, only served to fuel her fire. She had done this a few times in the last week to try to free her mind of the torture his image spur her to do, at the same time that she put all her efforts to release the moan fighting to come out. This time felt different, as if her body knew something she didn't.

Unbeknownst to her, Kaz was nearby, clenching his teeth so tightly that it made his jaw hurt. It made him wonder if it was due to her absence from work, or the way she made him feel that produced this sort of reactive action.

He knew a knock on the door would be odd, considering that she told him she was not a very social person, hence didn't have any friends.

So, he decided to use his brain. He made sure to see if there was any visible light reflecting into the streets from the visible lower window almost glued to the floor. No light was visible. Good.

He knew she lived unseen in Ketterdam.

Like a fox hiding from the danger, without knowing the danger it held inside. He new it though, probably why he called her that.

He would just leave an envelope with the tasks he had for her and then he would leave. If she read it, she would show up in his office. If not, then she had made her choice very clear.

His lockpicking skills gave him easy access to her place. He tried to keep his limp as light as possible so as not to make his presence obvious. He opened the door with little noise, which was surprising considering it was a wooden door. However, the floor was made of pure stone.

He noticed the dark, small kitchen and immediately took in the warm light of the candles illuminating the rest of the space.

He thought she might have left the candles on, so he didn't take a wider glimpse of the room. He left the envelope on the dark counter and right after reaching for the door handle, he heard it.

His feet locked to the floor, and his chest stopped. Kaz turned his head to the side to take in the sound more clearly. It was as if someone was having a nightmare, with uneven but barely audible breaths. The table and chairs of the tiny dining room obstructed his view, preventing him from seeing the full scene.

His feet moved as a reflex, after silently closing the door before him, he took some cautious and slow steps forward. And then, when he got a clear view, a flame that he feared had been extinguished was ignited from the ashes, burning fiercely inside him. Evaporating all his senses of destruction and vengeance, and replacing them with a gutting desire.

He took in the scene, his hands were sweaty, his mouth slightly opened, and his chest heaving.

Whimpers.

He froze, not making a sound; like a sculpture, he didn't move a muscle. He just stood there, transfixed by the sight before him, his eyes locked on it.

On her.

She was caressing herself, one hand occupied with her breasts, fidgeting with her nipples, and the other under her panties. Her eyes were closed, portraying pain and torture, but deep inside her arousal increased with every touch.

She unlocked a part of her mind that allowed her to visualize Kaz in front of her. As she seemed to have found her only inspiration that may allow her to finally cum. Something she had avoided the last week.

She tried before touching herself thinking of something else, making up someone else’s face in her mind, failing relentlessly every time.

Now, in her mind, a bulge was evident in Kaz's usual black pants, his hands bare, and his cheeks flushed. The image made her wince from pleasure. Her lower lip was tugged between her teeth. Each brush of her hand made her body quake.

A few seconds later she opened her eyes, and she swore she saw her boss's face.

There, in the darkness.

He was staring at her intently, and for a moment, she stopped, bewildered. Her red cheeks acted like fire in her body, burning her entirely with embarrassment and excitement.

《Why are you stopping? I didn't stop when you caught me jerking off》 He thought. His brain took such action as offensive, breaking the pleasant view.

"Don't," the shadow spoke, panting, desperate, and begging almost.

Kaz Brekker wasn't the type of man who begged, not even when he was staring death itself in the face. But now his mind betrayed him, his words being a reflex to his needs.

His dark figure leaned closer to the bed, finally revealing his pale temple. Y/n's heart hammered in her chest as if it was trying to escape like a frightened child. "Don't... don't stop, y/n," There it was again, his voice roaring. His thoughts now sprinting out of an opened cage that would be too hard to lock again given the view. His hoarse and needy voice echoed along her soft gasps.

It took a few seconds for her to realize it wasn't a trick, it wasn't a hologram, something impossible to touch. Kaz Brekker was in front of her, his jaw looked tight, his expression sharp like a blade cutting trough her; his gaze taking in every inch of her skin.

He was like a starved animal waiting to finally get its prey after several failed attempts. He watched every movement, enjoying what he had craved several times where only his imagination was able to put it to work. Now, being real and having her in flesh and bones before him, he didn't want her to stop, nor would he allow it.

It felt as if the candles turned into a hundred torches. The heat around them was both pleasing and hurtful. He wanted to touch her, but somehow his hands were blocked to each side of his body. Loose strands of hair fell over his eyes, but it didn't act as a distraction, his focus being only on her figure. The drip of the several candles blended with the sound of her wet pussy.

His sharp blue eyes found their way to hers, an invisible string forcing to look each other, making it impossible for any of them to break eye contact.

Kaz made his way in front of the bed and sat in the nearby wooden chair. His Adam's apple wobbled as he swallowed hard. The bulge in his pants was evident now, just as y/n had imagined minutes ago.

"What...," her voice cracked, making it impossible for her greedy self to form a full sentence as she was overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. He cut her off sharply, in a demanding tone.

"Shush," he growled, the usual gelid expression covering his face entirely. He was fighting the urge to take his glove off and replace her own hands with his.

Oh, he wanted to squeeze those tits and lick her nipples so badly.

However, his hands still wouldn't move. He felt like a prisoner in his own body, struggling to break free. The uncertainty of how his body would react when he touched her still lingered in his mind.

"Just keep doing it," he demanded, his eyes moving from her face to between her legs, as to try to send her an indirect message of what to do next.

She pushed her underwear aside, mostly due to the desperation taking over her entire body, and for the hint she caught in his eyes. Her wet cunt being visible now.

Y/n closed her eyes, enjoying how she felt when she fingered herself, just as he enjoyed watching her doing so. Her mouth gaped as the shivers she felt took her higher with every touch, the orgasm closer with every passing second.

"Open your eyes," Kaz urged, his voice growing deeper and more desperate. He felt his dick pumping, trying to break free and holding back the urge to cum right then beneath the black fabric.

An inner fight with his mind allowed him to move again a few moments later. A pair of eager hands unbuttoned his pants, showing his greedy bulge over his black boxers.

Y/n complied with his orders and opened her eyes, only to catch him with his gloved hands now full of his cock, just like the other night, adding the fact that she was also with her hands occupied doing the same to herself.

He didn't even bother in taking his gloves off; he just needed to stroke it.

It went on for a few more minutes, with him watching her thrust her fingers in and out of her pussy faster, and she watched him stroking his dick. Both of them, with their arousals and voices, provided the only sound that bounced off every wall, echoing in their ears and carving like an unforgettable memory inside their minds.

With their eyes locked onto each other, their hands fully occupied, and a layer of sweat on their faces under the warm light of the candles, they finally came. Kaz was the first one, and he was more silent this time given all he wanted to hear was her, as he'd imagined: her voice breaking, her legs squirting, her chest going up and down as if she had just run a marathon throughout all of Kerch. He wanted to hear her say his name.

Y/n came a few seconds later, her voice breaking, the sound louder than ever between the walls, she finally gave in, letting the moan out. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and the next words would carve in the deepest part of Kaz's mind, like a catchy song that only he could give himself the pleasure of repeating. "Fuck— Kaz!" She yelled, not so loud but enough to make Dirtyhands bite his lower lip.

He compared what he had imagined to the view before him, they were quite alike, except for the lack of Kaz's touch on her skin.

It took a few moments for Y/n to ease her breathing. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling. Embarrassment washed over her as she didn't dare to look at the man in front of her.

His lips twisted and contorted into a crooked grin, revealing his satisfaction with what he had just seen. His usual dark eyes betrayed little emotion, but deep down he was afraid to accept the eagerness that burned within him. He wanted her and hoped to make her his right then and there, but the option of him panicking when touching her frightened his mind. It aggravated him: to have her in his gaze and not be able to feel her skin.

Hidden inside Kaz's heart, the flame was still on. He longed for the day when he would finally take his naked hands and feel how wet she was, with no intrusive thoughts in their way.

He took his right glove—now covered in cum– off, whilst still glaring at her body on the bed.

"I need your presence for the job," he muttered, ignoring the fact she was still naked, panting slightly, and her eyes lost in her thoughts.

She wasn't mad about him changing the topic. She hadn't yet found the words to say something anyways.

His normal façade cut sharp like a knife. He knew it was for the best. He tried to convince himself that there would not be a third occasion, given that, if he stood any longer, he would not cum over his gloves but on her stomach. And his hands would not be holding his cock but her hips, keeping her still in the bed.

"If you still want to work for me, I'll be expecting you tomorrow night at the usual time," he said, tilting his head toward her direction as he turned around to leave, taking her utter silence as a reply.

On the other hand, Kaz didn't want to say what echoed in his mind. An uncontrollable pull was trying to stop him from leaving, encouraging him to just give in to her. To finally betray his mind and let something other than revenge and money in his heavy heart, allowing his hands to touch someone else's skin.

He wanted to feel hers under his fingertips, to taste her breath in his mouth. Something that through the passing of months he never accepted until now. But words failed him as they often did, forcing him to repeat the same romantic situation he had with Inej years ago.

So, with the clicking sound of the door closing behind him, they gave an end to their interaction, which would allegedly be the last one, and both let out a long sigh of relief.

Putting an end to his torture of not being brave enough to touch her, and to her torment of not being able to feel his touch.

HII!! So, as I wrote at the beginning, writing this was a love-hate relationship considering my sudden motivation loss. I was so motivated writing this and then BANG, my mind goes blank as fast as Kaz's heart when he sees Inej haha.

Anyway, I really, reaaally hope you like it and if you don't then it's okay we can pretend that this doesn't exists 🫶🏻🤣

Tag list ( the lovely users that asked for a part two):

@outlawqueen17 @bunneex

@tiana76 @freddycarterswife

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

Lovestarved (Rewrite)

Flug couldn’t believe it. Defying all of his expectations, Black Hat actually prevented him from hurting his friends. Not only that, but kept his secret from being exposed. He had been so certain that the eldritch wanted [...], but now, with every manipulative and cruel assumption Flug had made being tossed out the window, he had no idea what to think anymore. When he next spoke, his voice was but a meek stutter. “Th-Thank you, sir...” “’Thank you’?” Black Hat repeated, a ghostly twitch of annoyance betraying his smile for just a moment. “What have I told you, Flug? Your… gratitude…” That last word was uttered with notable disgust, “… is gravely misplaced. I only—“ He was stunned into silence when Flug unexpectedly clutched his hand. “You stopped me from hurting them.” The scientist spoke more firmly in spite of how his own hands trembled. Flug dared not make eye contact, instead staring directly at the floor. “Thank you.” He had almost expected to get lashed out at or shouted at for grabbing Black Hat so suddenly, and when he realized his mistake, he immediately let go… but Black Hat did neither of those things. He just stared, expression completely blank to the point of almost being comical, at where Flug had touched him. That doesn’t happen. People don’t touch him. He touches people. On his terms. After the initial confusion wore off, his cold and calculative eyes pierced right through Flug. “… Well.” He finally spoke, flat-toned, “You can thank me by getting rid of those pests outside.”

Okay look I know the White Hat fic’s been a long time coming and I’m definitely still working on it, but oh my god the complete and utter abomination that was the original Lovestarved fic was driving me completely insane, I HAD to give it a revamp for my own peace of mind lmfao, my GOD, IT WAS SO BAD YOU GUYS IDC WHAT YOU SAY I'M SORRY SZTEFA BUT YOU'RE W R O N G LMAO

So anyway, have the not-perfect-but-still-very-much-improved fanfic of a Monster!Flug x BH slowburn in which these idiots keep idioting around each other 24/7 until things happen lol (Btw one of my mutuals recently got instabanned for merely mentioning a certain phrase, so since I’m not sure how tumblr is deciding to auto-flag posts and I don’t wanna go through the headache of having to get my account reactivated again, this post is only the first half of the fic (the safe portion lol) and then there’ll be a link to the AO3 version at the bottom of this post for when things start to get on the risqué side.)

And of course, this fic series is based on this wonderful fic right here!

Previous works in chronological order: Hired, Don’t Try to Run, Lovestarved, Trial & Trust, Deeper Than Skin, A Small Solace, In Sickness and in Health, Benefit of the Doubt, Just Another Word I Never Learned to Pronounce, Merry (Late) Christmas, Compromise

Flug had never intended for this to happen.

Never in a million years had he planned on revealing this part of him to anybody , let alone Black Hat himself. Sadly, it’s not easy to sweep the unfortunate incident of devouring a test subject right in front of him under the rug. Then again, given his boss’s nature of being able to slip into any room unnoticed, perhaps Flug should’ve prepared for such an inevitable possibility. 

Oh well. Too little, too late, as some might say. At least Black Hat hadn’t reacted as negatively as Flug thought he might. On the contrary, in fact, Black Hat seemed to find Flug’s otherworldly nature quite amusing. Yet another reaction that his scientist perhaps should’ve expected to some extent. 

What he never could’ve expected was the change in attitude, however.

Yes, ever since that day, Black Hat had been treating him differently. It was subtle enough that any bystander likely wouldn’t notice a difference in their relationship. But Flug definitely took notice, especially in how his superior spoke to him.

He was still his usual brash, hostile self, but every once in a while, sprinkled in between whatever myriad of scathing remarks and scoldings Flug would face on any given day (and even those had lessened significantly), Black Hat would sometimes praise him. The first time Flug heard the words “Good work” out of his boss’s mouth, he thought he’d been hallucinating, as that explanation seemed far more likely.

Furthermore, Black Hat continued to surprise Flug by not broadcasting his secret to the rest of the household. He’d been certain that his boss would’ve gotten a kick out of airing his dirty laundry for everyone to see, if only for the sole reason that Flug gravely didn’t want that. Yet, Black Hat held back. Didn’t speak a word about it to 5.0.5. or Demencia. Not that Flug would risk getting too comfortable in that regard, of course. Whatever Black Hat’s motivations may have been, it definitely wasn’t coming out of a place of respect for Flug’s privacy. Knowing his boss, he was probably just waiting for either of their housemates to walk in on him devouring someone so he could indulge in whatever chaos might unfold. Or perhaps there was some other reason that Flug hadn’t considered. He certainly knew better than to try and guess what Black Hat was thinking, regardless.

Not all of the changes in Black Hat’s behavior were so positive, though. For one thing, his unnerving fascination with Flug’s souleater half has led to some rather uncomfortable arrangements. On the one hand, Black Hat providing him with prey saves Flug the trouble of having to sneak around anymore to feed himself, but on the other, his boss had a peculiarly keen interest in watching him eat. That was already bad enough, having to put what Flug had tried so hard to keep hidden all his life on full display like that, but it was made even worse by how handsy Black Hat would sometimes get afterwards.

He had a particular fascination with Flug’s teeth. Whether or not that was out of some twisted sense of humor or out of a genuine curiosity of Flug’s species, the doctor couldn’t tell. All he knew is that it was uncomfortable. Every time those hands crinkled up the edges of that paper bag to expose his bloodied mouth, anxiety spiked within him at the mere thought of his mask being pulled off completely. Luckily for Flug, Black Hat never went that far, for the time being. 

“Why do you always do that…?” He had asked once, during one upon too many fang inspections to count.

There was a click of the tongue, Black Hat tilting Flug’s chin whichever way he wanted, as he gave his unconventional answer. “The soul residue intrigues me. Besides, it's the only part of your face I’ve seen thus far. I like to admire it at its bloodiest.” Then he’d flash one of his many shit-eating grins. “Given how long you’ve hidden this from me, I certainly have the right to catch up on what I’ve been missing.”

What could he possibly have been ���missing”? He knew Black Hat to enjoy displays of violence the most when they had some heart in them. Flug’s only ever been timid and reluctant in the way that he feeds, unable to understand what entertainment value Black Hat could possibly be getting out of such mediocre murders.

On one particular day, however, the situation differed.

Their domain had fallen under siege by a particularly persistent team of heroes… It would’ve been an all-out attack if Dr. Flug hadn’t activated an emergency forcefield just in time. But for now, all they could do was wait these heroes out until they came up with a proper plan of retaliation. Their anti-hero merchandise was the best there was, of course, but with the sheer amount of opponents waiting outside, the villains were put in a particularly tricky situation. 

Black Hat could easily dispose of the problem, Flug knew for a fact. These heroes were mere ants to somebody with his unimaginable power. But, in typical Black Hat fashion, he chose to instead put this job on Flug and Demencia. 

While Flug could understand to some extent that such matters were too trivial and boring for his boss to face head-on, he had hoped the demon would’ve made an exception in this case. This situation had cut Flug, Demencia, and 5.0.5. off from the outside world until they could find a way around those heroes, which wouldn’t be a problem if not for the fact that it left Flug without sustenance to keep his monstrous half in check.

Unfortunately for him, Black Hat found more interest in watching how his employees would tackle the problem instead. Because, for him, the slightly-more-interesting route would always be preferred over the easy way out. It’s not like the health of his underlings has ever held priority over his own amusement, so Flug had no right to be surprised. He’d just have to persevere, and he wouldn’t dare complain about his hunger to Black Hat himself. Knowing him, he’d expect Flug to earn his food under these circumstances. The way Black Hat was constantly hanging around the laboratory as he worked further cemented that idea into his mind. 

Instead, he threw himself into his work as if that were an adequate distraction. He did everything he could to keep his mind busy, to keep himself distracted from anything that may lead to one of his episodes, but it was so damn hard when these hunger swings can be so unpredictable. One minute, he would be completely fine, but the next…

“Whatcha workin’ on, doc?”

Hunger making him more irritable than usual, the mere sound of Demencia’s voice had been enough to grate on his nerves these past weeks of siege. It was bad enough that his cravings were already slowing him down far too much, he didn’t need Dem’s constant pestering on top of his current inability to focus. 

Shaking those concerns out of his head, he was none too kind when he answered her. “Oh, I don’t know, Demencia, maybe a solution to our little problem out there?”

Unfazed by the mockery dripping from his voice, her desire for mischief was left perfectly intact. “Oooo, is it cool? Will it blow ‘em up? Liquidize their insides? Lemme see it!” 

She jumped for the flask, and Flug had barely enough reaction time within him to dodge her. “ Stop that! Do you want to get a cloud of knockout gas to the face!?” Flug barked, scrambling to keep his work from falling out of his hands. Once stabilized, he shot her a nasty glare. “Don’t you have anything better to do than bother me?”

“You’re kidding, right?” She deadpanned in response. Dramatically flopping into a nearby chair, Demencia kept up her annoying lamenting. “We’ve been stuck with those dumb heroes outside for like a week, I’m boooored.”

“Well good for you, but since I’m the only one around here that seems willing to fix this damn mess, I need to focus.” Flug snapped at her, voice raising alongside his frustration, “What I don’t need is some brain-dead halfwit breathing stupid questions down my neck the whole time!”

Demencia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at how intensely he came off. Sure, she could get on his nerves with relative ease, but he usually took it with more grace than that, even at times when he’d sic Hatbots on her. Even Black Hat glanced up from his newspaper upon hearing such unusual hostility growing in Flug, though he reserved comment. 

“Ouch,” Demencia remarked, although not especially offended. “Well, sorry Mr. Grumpypants, didn’t realize you were in such a mood today.” She chided him. “You skip your coffee this morning or what?”

Narrowed eyes shot one last dirty look at her before Flug tried to shift his focus back to his concoction at the lab table. Key word being tried , because before he knew it, he was doubling over from pain when his cravings hit him full-force. He was barely able to catch himself against the table, almost knocking over the work he’d previously scolded Demencia for endangering. 

Serving up a confused stare, Demencia frowned at him. “Uhh, Flug?”

The ruckus also woke 5.0.5. who’d been sleeping nearby, a worried grunt coming from him as he wandered over to see what was going on.

What Flug had feared all along was now fast approaching. This sort of thing was exactly what Black Hat wanted, wasn’t it? For him to expose himself to the others in as violent a manner as possible? And if so, then where the fuck was he? Flug could’ve sworn he was in the room a second ago, and hell, maybe he was too disoriented to know for sure, but he couldn’t see the demon anywhere. 

All he could lock his starving gaze onto was Demencia and 5.0.5., the clueless pair coming foolishly closer to check on him. They’d make easy targets. They were practically offering themselves up on a silver platter. How could Flug possibly refuse the instincts that were screaming at him to eat?

“Okay, Flug, this is weird, even for you.” 

For the briefest of moments, he saw his mother, so stupidly drawing nearer in his state of delirium. She should have known better. She made herself too easy of an antidote to his suffering. The exact same mistake that Demencia was making now.

He wished he could tell her to get away. He wanted desperately to warn her of what danger she was in. But he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t stop himself from inching his starving body nearer, itching to dig his teeth into something –

“Demencia, step aside.” Black Hat’s familiar voice ordered from the doorway, yielding immediate compliance from her. With adept swiftness, he strode over to the unhinged doctor and proceeded to drag him away from his coworkers before any damage could be done, exiting the laboratory with Flug in tow, and leaving Demencia and 5.0.5. to their own confusion.

Black Hat dragged him through hallways and corridors, paying no mind to his scientist’s resistance. Flug’s thrashing wasn’t particularly troublesome for Black Hat, although he felt mild surprise to experience a jolt of pain inflicted by Flug’s fangs when they tried to find nourishment in the tendrils that restrained him. Judging from the retching and gagging that followed, Black Hat’s soulless form wasn’t exactly fine dining to him. 

They entered a darkened storage room, the only light source coming from a flickering bulb above that fought to stay lit. Within, there laid a hero, injured and bound in place by whatever impromptu restraints Black Hat could find in the moment. 

“Eat.” Black Hat ordered as he shoved Flug towards the helpless fool.

As if Flug needed any convincing. 

The second he was released from Black Hat’s grip, he lunged for the hero, tearing into him with such ruthless ferocity, ripping flesh out in bloody chunks that were strewn across the room with great fervor. The crackling and snapping of bones that’d dared get in the way of Flug’s relentless fangs was like music to Black Hat’s ears. The only way this could’ve been better was if the hero had remained alive long enough to scream.

Out of breath by the time Flug was through with him, it took almost a full minute for him to regain his composure. 

“My my, what a savage display.” Black Hat purred in amusement, drawing nearer to admire the carnage. “You’ve been holding out on me, doctor.”

“W-Wha… Wait, th-this is a hero f-from outs-side, isn’t it…?” Flug queried as he came back to his senses, casting a hesitant glance his boss’s way.

“They make for easy pickings. You looked like you needed something rather immediate.” Black Hat replied, wiping bloodied claws off on his clothes. With a disapproving quirk of the brow, he added, “You could have said something sooner , by the way. It’s not like I knew where your breaking point was.”

Flug couldn’t believe it. Defying all of his expectations, Black Hat actually prevented him from hurting his friends. Not only that, but kept his secret from being exposed. He had been so certain that the eldritch wanted the drama and chaos that would’ve come with him attacking 5.0.5. or Demencia, but now, with every manipulative and cruel assumption Flug had made being tossed out the window, he had no idea what to think anymore. When he next spoke, his voice was but a meek stutter. “Th-Thank you, sir...”

“’ Thank you ’?” Black Hat repeated, a ghostly twitch of annoyance betraying his smile for just a moment. “We have been over this, doctor. Your… gratitude …” That last word was uttered with notable disgust, “… is gravely misplaced. I only—“

He was stunned into silence when Flug unexpectedly clutched his hand. “You stopped me from hurting them.” The scientist spoke more firmly in spite of how his own hands trembled against Black’s. Flug dared not make eye contact, instead staring directly at the floor. “ Thank you. ”

He had almost expected to get lashed out at or shouted at for grabbing Black Hat so suddenly, and when he realized his mistake, he immediately let go… but Black Hat did neither of those things. He just stared, expression completely blank to the point of almost being comical, at where Flug had touched him. That doesn’t happen. People don’t touch him. He touches people. On his terms.

After the initial confusion wore off, his cold and calculative eyes pierced right through Flug. “… Well.” He finally spoke, his voice flat and rigid, “You can thank me by getting rid of those pests outside.” 

With that, the demon took his leave. Flug watched him go, blinking slowly as he tried to process what just happened…

… No. He can think about this later. For now, he had an order to carry out.

After cleaning himself up and changing out of his bloodsoaked clothes, Flug returned to the lab with newfound energy and determination. He threw himself at his experiment with ultimate focus, not allowing Demencia or even Black Hat’s presence distract him, despite how intently the latter was watching him.

Flug completed the substance within the hour, and it did not disappoint. Everything went according to plan. Firing the gas bomb at their intruders did the trick, knocking them out just long enough for Demencia to dispose of them without a single issue. 

When all was said and done, Black Hat approached the doctor from behind as he disarmed the forcefield, causing him to jump in surprise when the demon patted his shoulder. “Well done, doctor.” He said simply before walking off.

All Flug could do was stare as he left, completely befuddled. 

He had always craved Black Hat’s praise, but now that he’d been getting it, it felt beyond impossible to get used to.

The strange behavior, the way he kept lingering about the lab for no discernable reason other than to watch him, how he’d been keeping Flug’s diet in check, it was all just so… bizarre. Flug racked his brain day in and day out trying to solve this mystery, but nothing ever felt like it made sense. It couldn’t be coming from a place of respect, as he knew Black Hat was incapable of respecting him. He doubted it was coming from a place of any sort of concern, as nothing about their routine had actually changed. If anything, Flug was more healthy than usual these days due to Black Hat’s assistance in keeping him properly fed.

Perhaps it was something more akin to keeping a pet. Of course, that must be it. Black Hat likely had him lumped in the same category as Lil Jack these days, just a pet to feed and maintain.

While that dehumanizing assumption made the most sense so far, Flug still couldn’t be sure…

One day, curiosity finally got the better of him. He knew he should know better than to question Black Hat, but he just couldn’t help himself this time.

It was on another day that, as was becoming usual, Black Hat had joined him in the laboratory, overseeing his work from a distance. Flug couldn’t actually be sure how much Black Hat was actually paying attention to the invention he was building, but he worked as diligently as he could under his boss’s silent supervision all the same.

A handray of sorts laid in pieces on the table while the doctor fiddled a screwdriver inside the mechanism. Black Hat had taken to leaning against the wall by the door, not a word spoken by him this whole time.

Flug nervously glanced back at him for a moment, quickly averting his eyes back to the device when he was caught staring. Finally, he forced himself to say it. “… Y-You’ve been… a-acting strangely since you first saw me feed, sir…”

“Strangely?” Black Hat’s cold voice repeated, examining his claws without a care in the world. “What are you implying?”

That ice, that frosty and bitter manner in which his boss spoke, had always rattled Flug’s nerves. It was almost enough to discourage him entirely from completing his train of thought, but he knew that would likely annoy Black Hat even more. He put his screwdriver down, turning to face the demon. “W-w-well, it’s, u-um… er…”

“Out with it, doctor.” Black Hat snapped impatiently. He cast the other man a challenging stare, as though daring him to say something he’ll regret.

At this, Flug hesitated. A lump had started forming in his throat, preventing him from speaking. Black Hat’s glare was definitely making the doctor have second thoughts about saying anything at all. Swallowing hard, he forced himself to speak through his discomfort. “Y-You’ve been treating me differently.”

Black Hat’s visible eye slowly narrowed, but he decided to amuse his doctor. “Oh really? How so?” He said in a sort of sarcastic, dry tone, taking a step forward.

No backing down now. Straightening his back, Flug tried very hard not to flinch away at his boss’s advances. “Well…” He began, fiddling with his hands, “You’ve been, um… H-How do I put this… nicer …?”

That was a big mistake the moment he said it, Flug’s eyes going wide once he realized his mistake far too late. Rage flashed across Black Hat’s face, the demon’s familiar growl ringing through Flug’s ears as he came closer. Flinching back and shielding his face with an arm, Flug almost fell over the table behind him as he tried to back away. “W-W-Wait, I didn’t  m-mean it like tha–!” He cut himself off with a fearful yelp as Black Hat yanked him forward by the neck of his shirt, his threatening form towering over the doctor.

“How did you mean it , then?” Black Hat snarled, voice dripping with a biting venom.

“Y-You’ve been acting like you think I have more worth now!” Flug squeaked, hiding his face behind his arms with eyes squeezed shut, a clear exasperation lingering among the fear in his words. “Like because I’m half monster, that changes things!”

Expecting to get pummeled in the next few seconds, it was to Flug’s great surprise that Black Hat let him go. Risking a timid peek at his boss, his jaw almost dropped. Why was he laughing all of a sudden?

“Of course it changes things!” Blackhat grinned, as though it were ridiculous for Flug to suggest otherwise. For some reason, that prickled at Flug’s nerves. “Now that I’ve seen what you are– ”

“What I am doesn’t change anything! I’m still the same Flug I’ve always been!” 

In a moment of surprise, Black Hat’s grin faltered. He’d never heard Flug take such a tone with him before, nor had he seen that particular look of frustration, dressed with hints of defiance, within Flug’s eyes.

“Have you been basing my value on species this whole time?” The scientist went on, irritation building, “What, I’m suddenly worth more to you just because I’m less human? Is that why you haven’t been kicking me around as much? Are you seriously that shallow?” With a scoff, Flug looked away, brows furrowed in anger. “If my being a human really disgusted you that much, I don’t get why you haven’t just replaced me with someone more your style.”

There was a tense moment of silence between them, although the tension was likely only on Flug’s side. Eventually, Black Hat spoke again.

“I believe that’s the first time you’ve dared to raise your voice at me, doctor.”

… Wait… 

Shit.

“I’m sorry…!” He squeaked in fear, cringing away from Black Hat in anticipation of being struck. Realization of how badly he screwed up hit him like a semi truck, and he scrambled over his words trying to do damage control in whatever way he could. “I-I don’t know w-what c-came over me! I-I’m v- very sorry, sir…!”

No violence came his way, however. Instead, Black Hat eyed him with what Flug could only describe as intrigue. His head tilted a smidge to the side, not unlike that of a curious animal. When he next spoke, it was with a kind of guileless tone completely foreign to Flug’s ears. “I have always valued you, Flug.” 

A disbelieving snort escaped Flug before he had the chance to stop it, slapping a hand over his mouth the second such a disrespectful noise had come out. How or why Black Hat hadn’t lashed out at him yet, Flug had no idea.

“You think I would have hired some annoying, sniveling little human if you weren’t of significant value to me? I know you’re smarter than that, doctor.” He drew closer, much to Flug’s discomfort. “In spite of what a pitiful sight you made, it was your intelligence that’d far made up for that. Your intelligence, your dedication, your perseverance, I have seen it all. From the day I met you, I knew your talents were exceptional.”

Baffled by such claims, Flug could do nothing more than stare in disbelief as his boss spoke.

“You impressed me that day, Dr. Flug. I can count on one hand the number of humans that’ve accomplished such a feat.” He went on, circling Flug to admire the work he had laid out on the table. “Humans are one of the most irritating and pathetic species I’ve ever come across in all my years. To have ended up relying on one for the sake of my business has been no less than a major frustration to me. Without you, who the hell do you think would be making all of our products?”

“I-I-” Flug started to speak, but was quickly silenced by the raise of Black Hat’s hand. Clearly, he had more to say.

“In a way, you’re not wrong. It does please me knowing that you’re not entirely human. You are something better. But, you’ve always been better than other humans in my eyes.” When he next turned to face Flug, it was with a narrow-eyed stare on his face. “So, don’t you dare suggest that I haven’t valued you until now. If that were true, I’d have left you dead in that alley all those years ago.”

At that moment, Flug had been rendered speechless. This was the first time Black Hat’s ever verbalized any sort of appreciation for Flug’s work, especially in such a direct manner. He almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing, tempted to reach out and poke the eldritch to make sure it was actually him and not some sort of caffeine hallucination.

Instead, he averted his eyes. As comforting as that was to hear, it didn’t change the main problem.

“You don’t treat your valuables very well, then.” Flug’s hesitant voice spoke up.

With a boisterous laugh, Blackhat twirled his cane idly. “So what? That’s of no consequence to me.”

“You seem to forget that I’m breakable, sir. It is a consequence if I decide to leave.” If he really is as valuable as Black Hat says... Looking away, he muttered under his breath, “It’s definitely something I’ve considered.”

That came as no surprise to Black Hat. He’s seen the collection of house and apartment ads the doctor’s compiled and occasionally glanced through when his boss’s temper was especially testy. But surely he’d never actually go through with leaving. Not after all the work he put in to get here. It would be absurd.

Not paying the comment much mind, Black Hat decided he was done with this conversation and headed for the door. “Get that ray done. We start filming in two hours.”

Such dismissive behavior was what Flug was used to letting roll off his back. But, this time, it felt like it didn’t matter at all compared to the other things his boss had said.

It was beyond reassuring to know that Black Hat found him important for what really mattered. There had been many a day where Flug had wondered if all of his efforts were actually counting for anything, in that regard.

Now, he won’t have to wonder. 

Something new to wonder about, however, was why this conversation had left him feeling so flustered …

Their uncharacteristically genuine conversation didn’t mean everything was sunshine and daisies, of course. After all, This is the house of evil. Can’t expect much else. What Flug was used to was being yelled at. Though there was one recent incident in particular that had been… strange.

As usual, Black Hat was eager to advertise anti-hero merchandise to their viewers. The demon rarely ever began recording early without first informing Flug, but today was, unfortunately, one of those days. He already had Cam-bot recording before Flug was even in the room. It’s not like he needed Flug there, anyways, so he just went ahead and started without him. The product seemed simple enough, some kind of fireball launcher of sorts.

Black Hat was well into the presentation by the time Flug had gotten there. The doctor had appeared somewhat rushed, and was carrying with him a toolbox.

His eyes widened with terror when he entered the room to see his boss already wielding the product.

“… and with just the click of a button, your local hero will be enveloped in a Hellish blaze!” Black Hat took aim at a target across the room.

“Sir, no!” Flug shouted, darting towards him, “There’s a chemical imbalance that still needs to be–!”

Too late.

There was a flash, then a blast of intense heat as the weapon backfired. Cam-bot went toppling over sideways, making a series of distressed beeping noises, and Black Hat let out a startled snarl as his arm was blown clean off. That wasn’t too much of a concern, however, as a stream of inky black energy quickly formed a new one.

He wheeled around, eyes blazing with rage as he faced the now-shivering Flug. “You IDIOT!!!” He roared, storming over to the scientist and roughly gripping his arm. “Is your job to have our products ready in time or IS IT NOT!?”

“I-I-I’m sorry….!” Flug yelped, cowering. “I-I thought I h-had more time…! I just needed to make one minor adjustmen–” He cut himself off with a pained outcry as Black Hat’s grip tightened, near threatening to break his arm.

“I don’t want to hear EXCUSES, YOU BLOODY– You…” Black Hat trailed off, a whisper of that recent conversation with the doctor echoing in his head.

You don’t treat your valuables very well.

You seem to forget that I’m breakable.

Staring over the terrified doctor now, the way he immediately expected the worst, something felt… off. Black Hat was the one that decided to start early and without Flug’s knowledge… but that still shouldn’t excuse not having it ready before the deadline, so–!

“Sir…?” Flug’s voice, tiny and horrified as it may have been, managed to shake Black Hat out of his thoughts. Fearful eyes gazed up at him with a hint of confusion on top of the pain. Very slowly, Black Hat loosened his grip, then let go altogether and took a step back.

Flug stepped back as well at the first chance he got, gripping his hurt arm close to himself. He gave a puzzled frown. “S-Sir…. are you…. alright….?”

… How could he be asking that? It seemed so… backwards.

… It doesn’t matter.

“Get this mess cleaned up…” Black Hat finally said, his voice unusually low, “… and fix that infernal Cam-bot…” 

Then, he was gone before Flug could even reply.

Watching the door close behind his boss, Flug winced as he rubbed his arm. Sighing, he picked up the dropped toolbox and turned to Cam-bot. “Let’s get you cleaned up, then…”

A flood of blood trickled down the now-lifeless body and onto the floor, Flug’s shaking arm wiping away what dribbled from his chin. With a chunk of neck completely missing from the corpse on the operation table in front of him, it was leaving quite the mess. The doctor tentatively reached up to pull his paper bag back down and cover his mouth, but Black Hat’s cane pulled his arm away before he could. Flug squirmed slightly beneath his boss’s touch as he lifted his chin , discomfort setting in him, but Black Hat paid that no mind.

A gloved thumb lightly grazing across the edge of Flug’s fangs, Black Hat’s expression was oddly monotone today. “… So, tell me.” He said suddenly. “If I’m so unbearable to live with, why do you stick around?”

“S-Sir….?” Flug responded, caught off guard by the question.

“You’re not being forced to stay here.” The eldritch went on. “You said yourself that you’ve considered leaving. Many other villains would be glad to take you. So why do you stay?”

Flug was quiet for a long moment, considering what he should say. Truly, there was only one right answer. “… B-Because the other villains aren’t you.”

At that, Black Hat paused, a twitch of surprise on his features for a second. Then, his eyes narrowed slightly. “Elaborate.”

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Flug started to fiddle with the sleeves of his labcoat. “W-W-Well, um… I-I mean, you’re… successful, c-confident, accomplished…” Oh gosh, why did he have to be listing off things he admires about his boss while they were in this position? Hardly any distance between them, and Black Hat leaned in closer with every word! Swallowing again, he tried not to get too flustered as he continued, “I-It’s just… well, you’re Black Hat. You’re one of a k-kind, the best there is. I don’t– I-I refuse to settle for less than the best.” Sheepishly, he looked to the ground, voice quieting. “You’re everything I’m not.”

Silent for quite some time, Black Hat found he was only able to give Flug a dumbfounded stare. The demon’s never had a tendency for modesty, for Flug to be so upfront about both his admirations and insecurities felt strange as can be. It was a combination that Flug likely never would’ve spoken aloud if left unprompted. Then, a smile began to form on Black Hat’s face. “Well, aren’t you the little ego-booster.” He purred, chuckling. “Although…” Stepping back and rubbing his chin in thought, Black Hat tilted his head and looked Flug up and down. “For one thing, if it’s something like confidence you’re wanting improvements on, you really shouldn’t spend your time hiding underneath that paper bag.”

Flinching back, Flug subconsciously ran his fingers across the edge of the bag. “N-N-No. I-I need it.”

“… Tsk. Fine, then. But still, I am curious…” Taking a step forward again, Black Hat brushed at the paper bag with his fingers. Flug jolted back before he could get a proper grip, almost tumbling over the body table in the process. Black Hat simply reached out with his cane, hooked it around Flug’s neck, and yanked him forward. With the other hand, he reached for the bag again.

“No!” In a panic, the trembling scientist grabbed his arm with both hands in an attempt to stop him, eyes squeezed shut.

Surprisingly, Black Hat did stop.

Flug hesitantly opened one eye to evaluate the situation. Black Hat was staring at where Flug had gripped him, same dumbfounded expression on his face as from the last time Flug touched him.

Slowly letting go, hoping that he wouldn’t try to remove the bag again, Flug frowned. “… U-Um… sir… I-If you don’t mind my asking…. W-Why is it you look so… bewildered … when I do that…?”

“Hmph,” Black Hat pulled his arm back after being let go, absentmindedly rubbing the spot he had been grabbed. He tried to cover up the bewilderment with a sly smile. “Maybe because the only time people ever dare to touch me is when we’re fighting or having sex. Why else?”

…. Flug chose to ignore that second part. His frown deepened, a touch of his own bewilderment setting in. “… So you’ve… never been, like… just… casually or platonically touched…?” 

Black Hat took a moment to think about it, looking off to the side. He couldn’t recall any instances of such a thing, aside from maybe shaking hands with clients, if that were to count? But those were more like business obligations rather than anything casual or platonic. “Hmm… No, never.” He eventually concluded. His eyes narrowed just slightly when they pulled back towards Flug. “Well, unless we count you.”

Normally Flug might’ve winced away in response to the slow return of hostility in Black Hat, but he was just… too flabbergasted. The concept of going through life without that ever happening seemed so farfetched for some reason, but he supposed if you’re a guy like Black Hat, maybe it’s plausible…..?

After a long moment’s thought, he hesitantly reached out a hand, pausing near Black Hat’s right shoulder as he examined his boss’s face for permission.

Black Hat’s eyes further narrowed with skepticism at the gesture, but he made no protest. So, Flug continued. His skeptical gaze followed Flug’s hand all the way until it had made contact with his shoulder.

It was strange, how all the malice slowly drained from his boss’s face upon contact. The look in his eyes was no longer one of hostility, but rather, curiosity. Perhaps a touch of confusion, but mostly a genuine sort of curiosity that was, in a way, almost innocent-looking. It was a rather strange expression on him, Flug finding himself unable to look away until Black Hat’s questioning pupils darted to Flug’s own face, wondering why he had gone so still.

Quickly averting his eyes, Flug went back to what he was doing. Very slowly, he ran his hand down the demon’s arm, as if he were simply smoothing out the fabric of his sleeve. Gentle, yet so impactful. If he wasn’t mistaken, he could’ve sworn he felt the slightest shiver from his boss as he had done so. Another sneaking glance to Black Hat’s face confirmed that he was just as confused as Flug was about the whole thing.

Slowly still, Flug raised his other hand to meet Black Hat’s chest, just letting it rest there for a while. Then, as if snapped out of a trance, Flug realized all at once how weird this must be getting and jolted backwards, the sudden movement even startling Black Hat a tiny bit. 

“I-I… um… s-sorry, sir…”  There Flug was, getting all flustered again. Why the hell did these strange interactions with his boss keep stirring up such confusing butterflies in the pit of his stomach?

Black Hat raised an eyebrow slightly, but other than that, his expression remained vaguely passive. He ran his own fingers along where Flug had touched him, quiet for some time. Then, his familiar smile crept back along his face as he looked back towards the doctor. “Seems only fair that I’d get to look beneath that bag of yours now, doesn’t it?”

Crap. Flug was hoping he’d forgotten about that. His gaze fell to the floor, accepting defeat with a very hesitant nod. “I-I-I s-sup-ppose so, s-sir…” He stammered, anxiety quickly on the rise.

A victorious purr rumbled in Black Hat’s throat, and he closed the space between himself and his scientist. Hands once again meeting the bottom of Flug’s paper bag, he took unusual care in how he lifted both the bag and goggles off of his face. As soon as those harsh white lights from the room’s fluorescent bulbs hit Flug’s eyes, a sharp yelp left his throat, and he threw his face in his hands to hide. 

“Seriously, Flug?” Black Hat deadpanned, unimpressed.

“I-I-I’m s-sorry. It’s t-too b-bright.” He stuttered, unable to stop trembling.

There was a moment of silence before Flug heard his boss’s voice again. “Open your eyes, doctor.”

Already feeling dizzy and anxious without the comfort of his bag, the thought of being made to endure such harsh lights on top of that was too overwhelming to handle. But the thought of angering Black Hat frightened him even more. So, he fought back every instinct that screamed at him to protect his eyes, stifled whatever stressful noises tried to escape him, and lowered his hands.

To Flug’s surprise, rather than the headache-inducing brightness he was expecting, he was greeted with a well-dimmed room, black smoke swirling above them to significantly dull the lights. No doubt compliments of Black Hat.

View of his scientist no longer obstructed, the wide-grinning demon took hold of Flug’s chin, lifting his head to get a better look. He could feel the halfling swallow nervously, but was too focused on taking in his appearance to notice or comment. Honestly, Flug looked like any normal human being if you looked past the eyes and teeth. 

But Black Hat didn’t. He was especially focused on those eyes, this being the first time he’s ever actually seen them goggle-free.

Flug’s eyes were without a doubt attention-grabbing. Where a human’s eyes would normally be white, Flug’s were an abyss of pitch-black, glowing white pupils being the only contrast to exist within. 

“Captivating…” Black Hat commented under his breath. While the comment was not specifically addressed for Flug, he certainly reacted to it, feeling an intense heat rise to his cheeks. His boss definitely took notice of that, smirk widening in response.

Embarrassed and feeling like he was going to pass out, Flug quickly grasped for his bag and pulled away from Black Hat, struggling to pull it over his head again through short and shaky breaths.

Evidently, having the bag and goggles was a comfort thing as well as an eye protection thing.

Satisfied, Black Hat gave a firm nod and turned for the door, smoke dissipating with a snap of his fingers. “Clean up your mess and get back to work.” He ordered as he left.

Flug had to take a moment to regain himself, doing everything he could to calm his nerves. With the combination of deep breaths and counting numbers in his head to refocus, the doctor slowly but surely found his composure again.

That was… quite the experience… Almost surreal ….

Placing a hand on the side of his head in confusion, Flug shook it off and went to take care of the body. The entire experience didn’t stop running through his head the whole while.

There were no words Flug had that could describe how their altered relationship had continued to shift and morph since then.

Flug first noticed it with the way Black Hat’s eyes studied him, bore through him right to the bone and stripped his soul bare. There lived no mordacity or annoyance behind his constant gazes, which was unnervingly strange in and of itself. Worse was that Flug couldn’t tell what Black Hat was looking at him with. Was it condescension? It didn’t feel like something that negative... Maybe… curiosity? Interest? But interest in what? No matter what explanation his mind tried to present, Flug knew there was something he had to be missing. Something he wasn’t seeing.

The mystery was only made harder to solve by the way Black Hat would touch him. In the past, the only form of physical contact they’d ever shared was aggressive in nature, as Black Hat had a nasty habit of manhandling anybody nearby in his moments of explosive rage. As such, it was hard not to flinch when the demon would put his hands on him. But, especially after that unusual encounter they’d had, his touches have become shockingly gentle. 

What were once brief pats on the back became lingering touches, claws tracing temperate lines along his meek frame, a hand resting on his shoulder just a bit too long… He’d also just stand far closer than usual whenever they were going over work projects together. Flug thought for a moment that perhaps all this time spent around Black Hat’s eldritch presence was finally driving him insane, but there was no way that he could be imagining these things. Out of all things for his mind to try and play tricks with, why something like this?

Furthermore, as someone who’s always enjoyed his alone time, Flug simply couldn’t wrap his head around why Black Hat kept joining him in the lab for the most benign of times. Even today, all he was doing was reading a newspaper with his morning acid, something he usually did in the comfort of his own office.

Occasional glances in his boss’s direction yielded the same results, those strange stares that made Flug feel so vulnerable being aimed back at him every now and then. He tried to focus on his work, to throw himself into his invention to distract from the outside world as usual, but his rattled nerves simply refused to let him do that today.

The next time he found his boss staring, Flug put down his tools, confronting the issue with a meek question.

“A-Are you ups-set with me?”

A glimmer of curiosity passed through Black Hat’s eyes. He put his newspaper down, that unnerving gaze completely honed in on his scientist. “What makes you think I’m upset with you?”

“W-Well, it’s… uh… I-I don’t kn-know, you’ve just b-been kind of…” Flinching slightly as Black Hat rose from his seat to approach him, Flug greatly struggled to finish that thought, looking all around the lab to avoid any sort of eye contact. “Y-y-you’ve b-been s-st- staring a l-lot lately, a-a-and, um–” He backed up as his boss got closer, just barely catching himself when he knocked into the table behind him, “A-and th-the t- touching … I-I just d-don’t u-und-derstand w-what–”

Flug’s stuttering was cut short when Black Hat took the side of his face into his hand, turning the scientist’s head to make their eyes meet.

“Tell me, doctor,” Black Hat purred, “Do I look upset to you?”

“N-n-no…?” Flug squeaked in response.

“There is your answer.” His head lolled to the side, studying Flug far too closely for comfort. His hand slinked down from Flug's face, the doctor withdrawing a sharp breath as deadly claws traced along his neck before finding its new resting place on his shoulder. “Does it bother you when I touch you?”

“W-Would it m-mat-tter if it d-did…?”

The way Black Hat narrowed his eyes at him, the hints of an annoyed frown starting to tug at his lips, quickly startled Flug into correcting his behavior. He straightened his back, answering the question directly this time. “N-no sir, it’s n-no bother.”

Just like that, Black Hat seemed to relax again. “Good.” He pulled his hand away, returning to the couch to pick up his newspaper. “You look like you’re having trouble focusing, so I suppose I’ll leave you to it for now.”

And, just like that, he was gone.

That… did not answer any of Flug’s questions.

Honestly, it was likely in Flug’s better judgment to stop questioning these changes in behavior to Black Hat’s face. Confusing as their new dynamic may have been, at least it was better than getting thrown around like a ragdoll on a near-daily basis. 

That wasn’t the way Black Hat saw it, however.

The way Black Hat saw it, all of this peculiar behavior had been a simple case of testing the waters. Unfortunately, his next move would be one Flug could’ve never prepared for.

Aaaand here’s where things get a little tumblr-unsafe, so to the AO3 void you go! (Please heed the warning tags over there)

[bordysbae]

Bordy comforting you when you feel like nobody understand you and u just really feel sad because of your friends and social anxiety and need comfort. 🤍🤍

Sorry lmao, this how i feel AHAHHAAH

“the bar”

thomas bordeleau x reader

word count: 0.8k

mon chérie - my dear

also! if ANY of you ever need someone to talk to about anything i promise i don’t bite! i also struggle with bad social anxiety so i know exactly how you feel, and i’d be more than happy to talk with any of you guys! don’t be afraid to message me if you feel like you need a friend to talk to <3

if this isn’t what you wanted just lmk!

your friends had invited you earlier in the week to go out to the local bar everyone goes to on friday nights. as much as you hated bars and parties, you felt pressured into going so you said yes. as you’re standing quietly behind your friends as they order their drinks, it suddenly becomes your turn to order. “y/n, what do you want?” your roommate smiles at you. your heart begins to race, you hated ordering for yourself. “i uh, i-i’ll get whatever you got i guess” you shrug. she nods and turns around to order you a drink, which you have no idea what it even was.

as time passes slowly and your friends become more intoxicated, they slowly slip away from you into the crowd leaving you standing in a corner alone, still sipping on the drink you ordered at least an hour ago. your mind feels like it’s running at a million miles per hour, so you walk through the crowded room and head for the bathroom. as you walk farther away from the music the less loud it sounds, until you lock yourself in the one stall bathroom, causing the music to become muffled. you open up your contacts and press the first person you can think of, your boyfriend thomas. “y/n? what’s going on?” he says groggily, causing you glance up at the time in the corner of your screen, seeing it’s already 12:32. “oh no i’m so sorry, did i wake you?” you say as you frantically pace around the small bathroom. “yes but it’s alright, what’s going on mon chérie? i thought you were with your friends” “i am, sort of. they all got drunk and ran off somewhere, and m-my mind is going too fast for me to think straight. i- i think i’m having an anxiety attack” you stutter out to him. you hear the alert in his voice as he says, “let me venmo you for an uber, come back to my place love.” “o-okay. i need to find my friends, i-i’ll call you from the uber” you say, as you hang up the phone to go face your fears of the large group just outside of the bathroom door.

as you exit the bathroom you feel your phone vibrate as thomas sends you money for an uber, and that’s when you see your roommate and 1 of the other people you went out with. “y/n! where were you?” your roommate asks, nearly slurring her words. “i went to the bathroom, i um, i think im gonna head home. i’m having really bad anxiety right now.” “oh, okay? how are you getting home?” “thomas got me an uber” “alright, bye y/n! see you tomorrow, now let’s go dance c’mon!” she says as she grabs the hand of your other drunk friend and they both scurry off into the crowd. you’re kidding. my own roommate can’t even stay with me ‘till the uber comes? you think to yourself. you see that the uber is almost here, so you make your way through the crowd and outside to the cold, late night, michigan air. you get into the uber and call thomas back. you smile softly as his face fills the frame of your phone screen. “you got the uber just fine?” he asks, rubbing his eyes. “yes thank you love.” you smile, acting as if your mind isn’t still running too fast for your liking.

you didn’t even realize how fast your brain was going until suddenly you’re brought back to earth as thomas opens his front door, embracing you in his warmth. “hi mon chérie, come in” he says as he steps aside to let you in. his words cause tears to brim at your eyes, which you try not to let fall. you haven’t felt this overwhelmed in a very long time, so this is a lot for you.

you both walk into his bedroom and he gestures for you to sit on his bed, as he walks over to his closet grabbing you a pair of his sweats and a hoodie. once you slip the clothes on and do your night routine, you crawl into bed next to him as he lifts the covers for you. “cmon lets cuddle” he says softly as you curl up next to him. as he pulls you closer to him, the tears from earlier you thought had disappeared come back, falling down your cheeks. “oh y/n, what’s wrong?” he says, as he gently runs his fingers through your hair as your head rests against his bare chest. “i feel so stupid, i cant even go out on a friday night with my friends without having an anxiety attack. and when i told my friends, th-they just ran off, barely even caring. i just feel so embarrassed” you say, tears staining your cheeks.

thomas lifts you off of his chest gently and sits up, looking down at you. “stop. you are far from stupid, you’re a human. it’s normal to feel anxious at times, and anxiety is not an ‘unnormal’ thing. i love you for who you are and your friends suck if they don’t stick around to care for you. i love you more than words can even describe and i hate seeing you like this” he says, pulling you into a hug. you wrap your arms around his bare back, and he rocks you both side to side slowly. “can we go to sleep, i just want tonight to be over” “of course my love” he says, laying you both down onto his bed softly. you cuddle into his side, his warm skin being all that you feel against you. you gently trace his tattoos until you feel your eyes begin to flutter shut, and you let them. a soft kiss being pressed against your temple is the last thing you feel as you fall into a warm, deep sleep next to the one person who you love most in this world.

[quodekash]

its 7 in the morning, i have a little time, lets roll (the commentary for just this one episode is gonna be a mess lmao)

FLASHBACK TIMEEE

little baby gun wearing glasses- hes so tinyyyy

I LOVE HERRRR

THE SONGGGGG

oh my gosh its not city its a silly song about a bullfrog i love this

aw mannnn he was jokinggggg

i love how theyre speeding up some bits, but other parts theyre adding more detail because it works better for the characters

CITYYYYYY

"im sorry, bro" I LOVE HIS ENGLISH WORDS

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS UNIVERSE POR, WHY IS HE NOT FLUENT IN THAI

CAPTAIN PORRRR

and so the captaincy begins

good luck por

IMAGINARY TINN IMAGINARY TINN IMAGINARY TINN

IMAGINARY GUN SCENES ARE MY FAVOURITES

IMAGINARY GUNNNNNNN

i love forth so much hes such a good actor i love him i love him

tinn's little chants and then the ear blows like its some kind of magic spell RHJBGH

WAIT A SEC IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME

SOUNDWIN HAVE SWITCHED

DOES THAT MEAN SOUND IS THE ONE TO CONSTANTLY FALL ASLEEP IN CLASS??

pls let that be the case

i could have so many thoughts and headcanons if that's the case

GIJREKDBG I LOVE THAT BOTH SOUND AND WIN ARE HERE FOR THE EXAM PASSING STUFF

YO WITH THE DISBANDING NONSENSE

also win's expressions and mannerisms and stuff are gonna be excellent for an in depth analysis of sound later

i know ive done a million in depth analyses of sound

but you can never have too many

"i feel at ease now" "i somehow feel like we're getting a full score" i love this so much, i love them so much

CHINZHILLAAAAA

"will he have time for us?" "OF COURSE" this is so funny and amazing and perfect and all the good words

cos theyre literally in the same room. why wouldnt he hear them? and they needed to progress the plot. and gun would do that, whereas tinn wouldnt actually say anything.

I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH

"dont doubt nosy guys like us" lmao theyre not even trying to think about a cover story, just 'hey, you know we're nosy.'

I LOVE THAT SOUND IS SPEAKING UP MORE OFTEN BC HE'S THE WIN IN THIS SCENARIO HFBGHRB

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

COMFORT CHARACTER GO BRRRR

okay ive finished 2/4 and now i need to go again

IM BACK! to you guys that was no time at all, for me that was 12 painful hours

my friend went further ahead than me and sent me a few clips and hOLY HELL i have felt like im missing out ALL DAY

BUT WE'RE HERE NOW

EWVOUSDLV

THE HEART GRAPH SCENE BUT REVERSED GRBGHDB THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY

ITS LIKE EXACTLY THE SAME

BUT ITS DIFFERENT BECAUSE THEYRE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

GIUEJSBD I LOVE IT

"i didnt mean to kiss you" PFFFFT GBRSDHXGB I LOVE THIS

GHREBDFG ALL OF THE FRIENDS SITTING AT THE TABLE

1. I LOVE ALL THEIR GROUP DYNAMICS SO MUCH

2. THE WAY THEYRE ALL WHINING AND COMPLAINING AND TALKING OVER EACH OTHER LIKE LITTLE KIDS GBFDGHBH

"I DONT HAVE ANY!" you dont have any.

like. what.

you have. no food?

h- how-

"if youre hungry, go eat somewhere else" damn bro

i do like that gun has kept his temper tho

theyre the same people as the originals, just in different situations and with different contributing factors and i could think about this for so long i love this so much holy hell

"why did you invite them" "my friends are stupid" i mean, is he wrong?

THE PARALLEL OF TINN/GUN YELLING AT GUN/TINN AND POR/TIW TAKING THEM AWAY FROM THE GROUP AND SAYING "thats your baby" GEHRSBGD

HIS EYES GOT SO SUDDENLY WIDE WHAT THE HELL

I NEARLY FELL OFF MY BED

TIW IS SO SILLY IN THIS UNIVERSE

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

I LOVE SILLY TIW

omg all of them chanting 'hot pot'- its like little children begging for mcdonalds

poor gun and por have to deal with these children

i love them

GUYS WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING SO EVILLY

YOU FORGET, THE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU ARE IDIOTS

THEYRE GONNA THINK YOURE PLOTTING THEIR MURDER OR SOMETHING

either that or they just. wont notice the very loud evil laughter coming from the corner.

both options are equally plausible.

oh they got louder

i think they noticed

OHHHH, THIS IS WHERE THE MOTORBIKE SCENE IS FROMMMMM

SOUNDS MOTORBIKE- COS SOUND WOULD HAVE THE MOTORBIKE IN THIS VERSION, NOT WIN

GRJBDGJEBRD

my brain is playing the freaking soundwin motorbike scene but with the roles reversed and im-

HEARTLIMING NOW IM THINKING OF HEARTLIMING

SOUNDWINDIDITFIRST

theyre really just copying from soundwin even in different universes, damn

why does sound have little boots on his keychain

gotta love the (not at all) subtle advertisement

SOUNDWINDIDITFIRSTSOUNDWINDIDITFIRSTSOUNDWINDIDITFIRST

ITS LIKE SHOT-FOR-SHOT THE EXACT SAME SCENE

THEYRE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE ORIGINAL ANYMORE, THEY KNOW SOUNDWIN IS BETTER

no hate to tinngun, i love them

but also. soundwin.

SOUNDWIN STUDY SCENE YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS

this is gonna be entirely keysmashes

holy hell

the question is: am i gonna survive this

THE WAY WIN IS LOOKING AT SOUND

BOY YOURE WHIPPED AS FU-

"sounds studying mode. how cute!" HEEEEELLLPPP

and yes, i am aware, this scene is tinngun did it first. and yes. its also basically frame for frame. but soundwin did it first in most cases so i stand by this

GU4OEBSDJL

DUDE THATS A LONG FREAKING TIME

HOW DO YOU SIT FOR THAT LONG

holy hell i cant wait for my sound adhd hcs to finally be justified

sorry i have to keep pausing it so that i can just. take a sec. and process what's just happened.

and also to get out the million streams of thoughts that pop into my head

so yeah

THESE EPISODES ARE GONNA BE GREAT FOR AGGRESSIVELY ANALYSING ALL OF MY BOYS GERDJHGBF I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

FREAKING.👏 MOOD.👏

THEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDS

I NEED HELP

WIN'S LITTLE SMILE- IM DYING MY HEART IS EXPLODING MY SOUL IS IN THE ROOF HELP

SATANGS VOICE IS SO CUTE WHEN HE GOES NA NA NA NA NAAA

I LOVE HIM

guess who just squeak-squealed

me

they freaking played the freaking no one else like me track

and i know they play it over every important soundwin moment

but its like

directed at sound

rather than from sound

like. as if the song is coming from win's brain and not sounds.

like. as if. as if win sings the song in this universe.

SERIOUSLY I NEED IT SO MCUH

I KNOW IT HAPPENED IN MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT LIVE ON STAGE

BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED IN THE ACTUAL SERIES

AND IF IT HAPPENS HERE THEN THERE'S A CHANCE THAT ITLL BE ON SPOTIFY

PLEASE I NEED IT

DESPERATELY

GIMME

i think ive ascended into another plane of existence

i cannot- how do you- how does function

TIWPOR

GJERBSG

desperately hoping for more than crumbs, that they actually commit to the tiwpor in this version

(which i know they do because of the clips my friend sent me and im so excited to experience this firsthand)

omg

this part

my friend sent me this part

i think im going to explode

GOUERJHDGOIJBERNO;FDGLJKNV4OERIJDFBGNOI4ELRJDNGIO34HEIRDGOIH34ERDIOGHK34ERPOIDLKGN34EIORDGNV3EIO4RDJNGO3IE4RHNDGOI4EHRINDNG9OIH3N4ERO8DIGH340IEORHG0IO34BERDOB

PLEASE

IT DOESNT FEEL REAL

HELP

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING

AND TIW'S SWEET LITTLE INNOCENT FACE- WHAT THE HELLLLLL

I AM DYINGGGGG

tiwpor exist

they actually exist

"i like it" "you like me?" EGIRBJKS

COS TIW, BEING TIW AND NOT POR, IS NOT SUPER OBLIVIOUS AND INNOCENT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"ill teach you later." "promise me, okay?" BRO THEYRE PLANNING A DATE. THATS WHAT THIS IS. THIS IS A DATE. WHAT THE HELL.

THE PINKIES

AND COME CLOSER PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART ALREADY

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

AND THEY JUST. STAND THERE LIKE THAT.

even the camera angle is exactly the same as the original. i swear they just filmed this on the same day. surely. its so similar.

also random thought: WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOY JORN

PUT YOUR HEAD ON HIS HANDS

PLEASE PUT YOUR HEAD ON HIS HANDS

por speaking english >>>>>>

lets. lets not get into that territory.

we dont need daddy kinks, thank you very much.

i cant explain it but i love the way theyre standing

win with his arms crossed

sound with hands on hips

its very Dads of them

mood

HUGS ALL ROUND

TINNGUN HUG

TIWPOR HUG

SOUNDWIN HUG

THE FREAKING ARM OVER THE SHOULDER

THE FREAKING GRIN

THE WAY WIN IS LOOKING AT SOUND

THE FREAKING LINGERING HAND AT HIS HIP???? HEEEEEELLLPPPP

"pat, should we hug too" lmao yopat felt left out

POR SPEAKING ENGLISH >>>>>>>>>

ITS ALWAYS SO JARRING BUT I LOVE IS SO MUCH

TINNGUN SLEEPOVERRRRRRRRRR

OH COS SOUND IS SNORING

THEYRE ALL SLEEPING OVER AT GUN'S PLACE

WAIT YOU NEED TO GIVE ME MORE DETAIL

WHO IS SLEEPING IN A ROOM TOGETHER

HOW MANY ROOMS ARE THERE

all we know is gun and por shared a room, and tinn and sound shared a room. where are the rest of them? was win perhaps also in the same room as sound and tinn? now that tinn is gone, what does this mean for soundwin? PLEASE

"tinn, have you fallen asleep?" dude. you lied down like. ten seconds ago. hes not gonna be asleep yet.

the dancinggggg i love themmmmm

gay panic gun is my favourite

i love him

BRO GUN IS BOLD

WHY MUST TINN FALL ASLEEP

gun burying his face in his pillow and squealing and kicking his feet- that has been me this whole episode. I LOVE PORGUN'S FRIENDSHIP MORE THAN ANYTHING

BROOOOOOOOOO

WIN ASKING TO CHANGE PARTNERS, BROOO

HE'S JUST GOING THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING THAT GUN'S GOING THROUGH

HES GAY AND HIS HEART CANT TAKE IT

AND NEITHER CAN MINE

DANCE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, WIN

guys.

guys.

why are you switching partners.

dont do that.

you havent practiced with each other.

I NEED SOUDNWIN

also: TIWPORTIWPORTIWPORTIWPOR

COME CLOSERRRRR I LOVE THIS SONG

its slightly different somehow

i like it

its so awkward with the partners tho

YES I AM IMMEDIATELY TEARING UP

GUYS THEYRE DOING THE MSP LIVE ON STAGE CHOREO

TIWPOR ARE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER

SOUNDWIN ARE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER

IM GONNA DIE

HELP

THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

literally just had to shut my laptop for a sec there

holy hell

they mean too much to me

how do i process this

theyre dancing together

soundwin are dancing together

THIS

FREAKING

CHOREOGRAPHY

the yopat is confusing me but im digging it

THE WAY THEYRE GAZING INTO EACH OTHERS EYES, LIKE THERES NOTHING BUT THEM TWO, JUST THEM, FOR ETERNITY, DANCING TOGETHER, THEIR WHOLE WORLD IS NOTHING BUT HIS EYES AND HIS HANDS AND THEIR FEET AS THEY DANCE AROUND THE ROOM, ENTRANCED BY EACH OTHER

guys this freaking choreography. guys. look at the choreography. whoever the choreographer is. i lvoe them so much. this is amazing.

i need to play this clip on repeat for the rest of eternity

TIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIW

DANG IT I RAN OUT OF IMAGES HANG ON

[reedfulton]

(not really a ask but tumblr comments have a limit word count and I could probably post this on AO3 but 🤷‍♀️)

why is this me just now finding out that bashbabe on ao3 has tumblr? (I have no idea how to work tumblr besides looking up my favorite ships/interest and liking every post about it). I live—LIVE for your fics. I’m on the mighty ducks tag kicking my feet and twirling my hair to see if any new bashslash fics by bashbabe have been posted or if ‘tis the damn season has a new chapter (me patiently waiting for a new chapter after reading the first two chapters a million times because nobody under the might ducks tag wants to write about Adam/Fulton and like why not? They work so well? Like slightly awkward slightly boy failure tough guy hockey player who hasn’t really explored how well of a player he is outside of his codependent relationships because his character was never truly explored and his existence beyond being a defenseman/bash brother/mysterious kid who throws bullies into trash bags was never really established (Fulton) and a extremely talented hockey player who’s socially awkward as well and very reserved whose spent his entire life working under the pressure and expectations, to be great and to be the best player, who’s been dealt cards multiple times that haven’t been in his favor, when all he wants to do is just play hockey with the Ducks (Adam). I need more of them please AO3 Mighty Ducks writers! I beg to the mighty ducks gods🧎‍♀️!) sorry I definitely like rambled a bit there but I just want to thank you for doing gods work and feeding my bashslash and Adam/fulton (fultadam?) addiction because I have been deprived of them— for too long!! (Like sure I get it Adam/Charlie are great and all (I only read them because I’m deprived) but like…. ✨rairpairs✨. Like come on!! The rairpairs exist too).

—sorry for like rambling/ranting and again thank you for pulling me out of the trenches with your fics!!

~~~~

ohhhhh my goodness. oh my goodness. this ask is literally everything i've ever wanted or needed in response to my content. i'm SO glad you enjoy my fics (and really appreciate you being patient with me while i try to post more/update tis the damn season, lmao) and i'm even more flattered that you went out of your way to reach out to me to tell me. this ask means so much to me, thank you thank you thank you for reaching out!!

i also love that you brought up the lack of rarepairs in the tmd fandom! @gaffney and i were actually just talking about the lack of content for rarepairs and then the lack of engagement for existing content for rarepairs! i totally agree, charlie/adam is great but it's so nice and refreshing to see other pairings in fic!

i'm so glad you enjoy my writing, and i promise i'm working on more! this ask will definitely be a huge motivation for me going forward, so i really appreciate it :] and i hope this motivates other people to write fic for bashslash/any other rarepair too! it's definitely something people want, and i'd love to see a mighty ducks renaissance of sorts, where everyone is making content for every character and every pairing. thank you so so so much again!!!!

[beautifully-lumpy]

✨ RAMBLY POST ABOUT THE CADDICARUS SPYRO VIDEO ✨

non-spoiler thoughts:

THIS VIDEO WAS AMAZING!!! it was everything i ever wanted and more. i'm an old ancient caddicarus fan from 2014 and oh my goooooddddd i loved this video. i loved it so much. it was beautiful amazing wonderful immaculate i want to marry it. nay, i want to marry the entire goddamn 2020-present caddicarus show.

i can't think of any jokes that fell flat in this episode. like usually there are at least a few that fall flat but this episode was wonderfully written.

it's like...i've been waiting 8 years for this video. there was a point in caddicarus history where we were certain the channel would never hit a million due to the stagnation it was experiencing in the late 2010's. the spyro video was becoming less and less of a possibility...until caddy changed up his content.

this change happened just under a year after i stopped watching, though. for two and a half more years, i kept hesitating and hesitating to watch the newer videos...until he actually hit one million subs. i was sitting in the college library on my first day of junior year when that happened, and i realized at that moment i HAD to return. so i watched the newer videos and was like "holy shit they really are as amazing as they say".

so the spyro video was my first new caddicarus episode since returning to the fandom...and man...i just missed that feeling so much. that wondrous feeling of getting a notification for a caddicarus episode. it's a feeling i hadn't felt in nearly 4 years.

OK BUT LIKE i have so muuuch stuff i wanna do rn. gifs, fanart, edits, etc...like BROOOO. i've fully been transformed back into my teenage self making tons of caddicarus fan-stuff for each new video that drops lmao.

and now for the spoilery thoughts... (this will be very incoherent i'm sorry)

ok but the CAMEOS? genius. if this video was made in 2016 i GUARANTEE he would've dedicated like 2 minutes to each of them, and they would've been saying stuff like "CADDY, PLEASE do NOT play this game, i played this on MY channel and it will CURSE YOU for LIFE!!!". but nope, the cameos lasted like 2 seconds each and almost ALL of them were just them being slightly caught off guard. I LOVE THIS GODDAMN SHOW SO MUCH.

and THE CADDYS RETROSPECTIVES INTRO!! I REMEMBER THAT! I CLAPPED!!!!

and THE BEGINNING CAMEO WITH THE NORMALBOOTS GUYS AND BRUTALMOOSE......crying

it's so funny that the few side characters we saw return in this were spons, baddy, long dennis and sam widge...but we got a shitton of new side characters. AND I LOVE THEMB.......WHEREDIGO MY BELOVED. face face is my new favorite eldritch horror, the COW... and the NEW LONDON COCKNEY CHARACTER WHO PULLED UP TO BEEFY BOYS. i DEADASS thought jim was gonna bring back quick J and was kinda disappointed he didn't jiaowefjoife. but he DID bring back daddy caddy so it's a good compromise.

OH AND WALLACE BIG TOO....AND COUSIN SQUADDY had me laughing my ASS off.

but obviously andrew van is the greatest caddicarus character of all time.

i have lots of favorite bits in this one, like the one where he puts on the clown shoes and kills moneybags. i also loved the one where he greenscreened himself skateboarding, and the return of that bit where he was flying out of the window to katamari music (it was some 2016 video i forgot what it was jsjsjjsjsj), and he ALSO brought back that "just melt it. i'll soak it up. i'll eat it" bit from the spyro orange video. and the SURPRISE MEXICAN BOUNS ROUND...god i'm going to reference this every time i go to a mexican restaurant.

that PUZZLE BIT...jim is such a genius like HOW. HOW does he come up with these things.

and i'm pretty sure that "you have to collect diamonds to FAST TRAVEL???" was a reference to "NOT EVEN THE ARCADE MODE???" from rascal racers

AND I'M NOT SHUTTING UP ABOUT THIS. MATRIX JIM. I WAS CHOKING,,,,

we got some new songs, notably "pink poo bag on your keys" and "i got a million subs". i will have lots of fun learning all the words to these and annoying the hell out of my sister with them.

i hope dead bird of the week becomes a regular thing.

and HOLY SHIT HE JINXED THE REPEAT OF THE CHEESE GRATER INCIDENT. WHY JIM. WHY.

[crabbunch]

secret life thoughts (long post underneath cut)

gem:

-there's a cherry forest !!!

-impulse? can we find pearl for the soup group?

-ok gem and the two scotts is very funny as well.

-love gem just. repeatedly fulfilling the challenge. just to make sure she's got it.

-maaaan the cherry biome is just so pretty though. man.

-"lets hold hands as we jump"- joel as he lets jimmy jump without him. incredible

scar:

-joel's name is not smallishbeans last time i checked. scar. you are ove-complicating this

-oh well he's cringefailed it up beyond belief !!

-wait i wish they had just let him fail.... why are people nice i want them to fight to death for my entertainment.

-d. desert duo

-scab??? scab???

grian:

-why are you trying to tell bad jokes to mumbo, chronic giggler. dont tell bad jokes to your friends. they'll be funny anyways

-intrigued by whatever bigb is doing. gaslight i guess.

-no wait actually what is bigb doing. my guy

-of course etho would be the one not to laugh at the jokes

bigb:

-i was going to watch etho because he finally uploaded but actually i have to go find out what this guys secret was

-i understand nothing

-ok so is he. just like that?? just doing that?? i mean i. you know what. if i dont see about ten million billion people waxing poetic about the allure of a hole im going to blow this whole website up. this is the funniest thing ive ever seen and i want to write about bigb being. the absence of things now.

-THE DOOR MAZE????

etho:

-"joel you already own my heart" awwwwwwwww

-the way he just lingers around bdubs

-cletho? cletho? cletho? cletho?

-CLETHO!!!!!!!

-the way he just. never mentions the merch. keep on doing what you do king <3

joel:

-the editing. when he's promoting the merch.

-he's dying so much faster than anyone else lmao

-heavy rock timelapse music as he struggles to place a fence

-oh he's going to be the first to red again isnt he. my guy.

-just resolving not to sleep for etho... boat bois crumbs 🥰🥰🥰

-impulse my man carrying the good word of the cherry wood to everyone. thank you good sir

cleo:

-a lot of murderous music going on. and some very interesting pronunciations of fish. joe hills has had a profound influence on them

-unequal exchange <3 its ok he'll just owe her

-"it's ok it day one alliance!!! those statistically have no meaning!!!" wow that says a lot about traffic cleo. heuh.

-the shadowrot is real

-promotion of merch is an acceptable bribe <3

-just. steal moss off of the rock thing. yes good idea

-ideal roomate dynamic is throwing fish down through the hole that your roomate made as thanks??? this is so ethubs meat shower

-"dont talk about my shield hole like that"

-"we could be called the axis :D" "well maybe you shouldnt"

-the way. bdubs just knows that they're referring to etho. hello i know this has been clipped but its so bizarre to see lol

-AND pearl cleo secret alliance?? with dogs? man cleo's dynamics with everyone this season. they're all just so good

-heart foundation. ok. on love island.

-clebert

lizzie:

-cherry blossoms!!!! wahoo best wood!!!

-bdubs acting all offended about killing a horse for leather vs his season 8 horse murder stats

-every season they get a little bit better at not immediately killing all the wildlife

-every season they also get a little big better at gay marriage. this time they've even got yuri!

-lizzie: "lets take this baby down the river.. and find some sugarcane!" cleo in the distance: "hey, i've got sugarcane!"

-jimmy comes running. from nothing. average jimmy behavior

-lesbian marridge AND lesbian divorce. fantastic

overall thoughts: i think that the povs im going to keep watching in the future barring Interesting Events will be etho (i am legally obligated) cleo (daily dose of sarcasm) bigb (hole guy) and joel (his bloodthirsty swag has charmed me once again)

i think that the mechanic is interesting but also if they do a lore thing with it i WILL start killing. sorry.

i like the groups that've been established so far but i sort of think that they're a little sparcer than usual??? gem and her two scotts is a VERY fun dynamic but unfortunately i hate the way all of them edit their videos :pensive: i love the mounders and their stupid houses from what ive seen of them from other people's videos and cletho???? cletho???!?!?!? love island is also very good.

anyways. very fun. much fun. im making an effort to tag spoilers this time if you want to filter this stuff its sl spoilers 👍

[hopefullyababe]

Bro I've always liked your icon, I didn't realize it was a whole character, who is this Humphrey? What is their life story? I must know

YO YOU DONT KNOW HUMPHREY???

oh boy this is exciting now i get to explain his silly backstory in excruciating, rambling detail

ok so humphrey is a horse. he was born to a horse mother and a horse father, in a tightknit herd outside a small human town in idaho. his herd keeps to themselves, weary of humans, and only going into town occasionally for medical supplies or bedding or other such needs.

dispite this, as he grows humphrey develops a facination with human science. his parents and specifically his mom encourage his interest. she enlists the help of the library staff to teach him to read. i imagine since neither of them can talk, this was done through quite a bit of clunky pantomiming and pointing.

as a surprise for his (horse year equivalent of) 19th birthday, his mother reveals to him that she has been submitting aplications for colleges across the country that have good chemistry programs. and humphrey has been accepted into [University Across The Country]!!! who appearently saw alot of potential in him.

so his parents pack him a big bag and give him lots of goodbye nuzzles and then hes off on the next train out.

when he arrives at The Big University, the faculty is a little bit surprised to see a horse in their building. but he gives them a note he wrote in advance explaining everything, and hands over all the necessary forms.

and so begins humphreys life as a college student!

the rest of the story from here is just slice of life goofs and vibing.

humphrey has a roommate named mina who collects vintage vinyl records and plays them in their dorm. theyre buddies. mina tells him all about the asshole in her class that wont shut up, and about her newest paper, and she paints his hoofs sometimes.

a bit into the semester mina notices that humphrey is struggling alot not being able to talk to anyone, and she gets him one of those button talkers, where you program in the words. they look like keyboards? you know those? and humphrey is estatic!!! the first thing he does is thank her on it. and so begins a whole new level of their friendship!

humphrey gets a big crush on a barista at the campus starbucks one time. he goes there every day on his break to get his iced caramel macchiato with a pump of vanilla and then sit in the absolute farthest corner NOT staring at this guy as he makes drinks. he isnt staring. shut up mina. he is working on his calc homework thank you.

but then he does something embarassing like put his cup in the wrong bin, or drop his card when he tries to swipe it- in front of the cute barista and oh fuck okay he can never show his face in here again. he proceeds to avoid that side of campus altogether. which isnt going very well because he has 2 classes over there and also needs his caffine pickmeup. so he has to go to the OTHER starbucks in the basement of the rec center. and it is completely out of the way of all his classes and the coffee tastes suspiciously acidic.

but anyway he goes to comical lengths to not come into contact with that barista but then when hes walking down a sidewalk THERE HE IS WALKING TOWARD HIM OH FUCK OH SHIT HIDE and he dives into a bush. but hes 6 feet tall and is entirely poking out of this bush. so cute barista just walks up and hes like oh hi humphrey! haha so chill that youre just hanging out in this bush. mood. nice seeing you :) and then he walks away. and humphreys like. huh.... o///o

theres another plot where humphrey sees a historical photo of the college campus and!!!!! holy shit theres a horse in it!!!! there was a horse attending this university?

so he does alot of digging in the campus library and he finds out that not only was there A horse in the past, there have been FOUR other horses that attended this school. in further investigations, he collects a small treasure trove of books written by other horses who received an education. and hes like. man. im not the only one. maybe this world has a place for me.

also the campus is alive and sometimes you can feel it shifting under your feet if you pay attention but thats not important

anyway thats all i have on hummphrey thus far :) hes a silly little guy and hes going to college.

[lxmine]

hihi! If u write for xiao maybe h could do a reader who like sort or absorbs his karmic debt if that makes any sense? Idk but gn reader is fine! sorry if this doesn’t make sense lol

selfish. + xiao x gn!reader

+. Fluff (with a small small angst), short, not proofread

+. Summary ; he wants to be selfish for a little while

+. A/N Yes, of course! And thank you nonny for being my first requester! Might not be accurate and short cuz i haven’t posted for a long while cuz of school and tonight is the time I got for myself so have this! Ily sm! Happy 13 followers to me! I’m really really thankful for you all <3

You smiled as you looked at Xiao who approached you, he looked tired and restless. The moonlight being the only source of light you have but he still looked beautiful as ever in your eyes. “Didn’t I tell you to not wait for me anymore?” He asks as he stopped beside you.

You sighed as you looked at the distance between you and him. It’s been a week since declared your love for him and it’s also been a week since the two of you talked about his karmic dept.

You took a step closer to him, and he grumbled. “Mortals are so stubborn.” He muttered under his breath but you clearly heard of course. “Go to bed, I’ll guard you.” He says taking a step back distancing himself, afraid that he might hurt you with his karmic dept, though you have reassured him many times already that it doesn’t affect you, and also because he’s got blood stains all over him.

He wouldn’t want you dirty now, would he?

“Stop that, it wont hurt me, okay!” You pouted coming closer to him, grabbing his gloved hand into yours. You felt him shake a little as you took his glove off. “[name], go to bed.” He says sternly. He’s glad that it’s dark or you would’ve seen his blushing face.

Intertwining your hands together before looking at him. “Do you feel at least a little better?” You asked, but received no answer. He doesn’t know what to do. Why do you care for him? Why do you love him? Why do you insist on staying up and waiting for him every single night?

Why do you put in so much effort to cook his favorite dish even if you didn’t like cooking? Why are you so willing to understand him? Is he really worth all of it? Does he even deserve it? Does even a beast deserved to be loved?

A million more questions ran in his head, he almost wanted to cry. “Xiao. Xiao are you alright?” Your voice reached his ears and he’s quickly brought back to his senses. The warmth of your hand indeed soothed him.

“Why are you doing this?” He said, almost like a whisper. You responded with a chuckle “Because I love you and I want to help you.” You looked at him with the sweet smile you always give him. “So please.. Don’t push me away, not like I’m ever gonna stop bothering you anyway.” You jokingly said caressing the back of his hand.

He bit the inside of his cheek, urging to not say a word. “Hold me.” He says looking elsewhere, he almost wanted to vanish right after he said that. He wished Morax would appear in front of him and then kill him right there on the spot. But alas, he’ll just make sure to punish his poor little heart later.

You’re heart leaped hearing the words from him and didn’t waste a second to wrap your arms around his waist. He’s surprised of course, but soon gave in to the peace your touch gives him. Just for tonight, he wants to be selfish.

Sorry for the long wait guys T-T I was busy with school and I re wrote this at 10 pm LMAO ANYWAY IM VERY THANKFUL FOR U GUYS I REALLY APPRECIATE THE LIKES YOU GUYS GAVE ME! Stay safe and hydrated, I LOVE YOU <3

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