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bleulone · 4 years ago

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Can we talk about about how Colin looked in ep 1 when he first saw Marina compared to how he looked when he saw Pen in ep 8. Almost the exact same look! Of course his look to Penelope is probably more about his guilt because he brushed her off when she tried to warn him but still..progress! Lol and then when he's getting ready to leave for Greece, he glanced towards Penelope's home. I think they're having Colin's feelings for her grow gradually in the show instead of all of a sudden like in the books.

Hey! Thank you for this insightful ask of yours :) Sorry for the late answer, I took a long time to write this— without further ado, here we go!

Indeed, Polin is first and foremost a story of gazes, those gazes being of many natures. Whether they are love ones, friendly ones, admirative ones or lustful ones, looking imposes itself to be a huge parameter in Penelope and Colin’s love story.

In order to understand that on screen, film-making has at its disposal a very rich and smart langage of its own. Sometimes, comparision helps to underlines the differences between one character’s relationship with person A mirorring person B. I feel like Shondaland and Chris Van Dussen wanted to introduce the audience to the evolution of our Bridgerton men’s perception of Love. For instance, while Anthony views attachement— to Siena— as a way to escape his responsibilities before becoming his villain (...until our queen ma’am Kate Sheffield comes to the picture), Benedict doesn’t comprehend this universal concept and prefers to enjoy the many physical pleasures life can offer. In other words, the older brothers already explored their sexuality here and there, making them the infamous rakes that they are. As for Colin, it’s a complete other thing.

Colin is young. Very young. At 21, he’s just left Eton College and barely knows anything of the world nor women. Like Anthony said in 1x06, Colin hasn’t been taken to brothels which is a very important step in the building of young men’s sentimental and sexual education during that time period. Since he missed this essential step, our sweet/immature boy has no clue about how to deal sagaciously with his feelings and his “foolish” impulses, baring his naivety. At this point of the story, we can easily come to the conclusion that Colin is a virgin who can’t drive XD. He’s just a child overcame by his passions, a hopelessly romantic who rushes things without taking the time to properly court or know his significant other. And his off-screen flirtation with those supposed numerous girls in London isn’t of any help to justify his (oh so little) experience. So when he sees Marina, he’s so struck by her... mainly by her alluring appearance. And he doesn’t seem to let his eyes nor mind go beyond her exquisite beauty.

In this perspective, the whole Colin/Marina storyline can be perceived as a parallelism to the Pen/Colin’s one. In 1x01, he is immediatley smitten with a dancing Miss Thompson, which happens to be ironically the same case with a 17 year-old Pen but with him. We got to see her, a few moments ago, dreamily looking at him from the back of the dancefloor (echoeing the episode where she fell madly in love with him after he fell off his horse at Hyde Park). She’s charmed by his dashing look and his kindness, yet she doesn’t seem to know anything else about him considering the rare conversations they share. Her burning gaze fits the original story from Julia Quinn’s books because in Romancing Mister Bridgerton, the 28 year-old spinster Penelope do realize later on that Colin is more than a good looking man : he’s a human who possesses a temper and flaws.

Either way, both of our boos are portrayed as hopelessly young people in love who childishly idealize the objects of their affection.

In 1x08, it’s the other way around. It’s Colin who sees Pen first, her who appears to wear the yellow dress’ lookalike from the pilot—what an interesting call back ^^. With his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide open, we can catch sight of the timid spark of a change in his gaze : Colin Bridgerton notices Penelope Featherington. He‘s touched by the realization that she cares about him. It would be rather inappropriate of me to say that Colin is already in love with her. However, in the finale, I do believe that he’s more struck by her high level of deep care for him than her beauty.

We are thus able to spot two big differences in Colin’s relationship with women in this season : when his attraction to Marina was purely physical and rushed, his attraction with Penelope is more emotional and slow. And for now, he comes to cherish his special bond with her, especially after she tried to warn him of the dangerous trap he was about to fall into. Even if he just sees her as his younger sister’s best friend right now, Pen matters in his life. And it’s still a little yet important progress for sure.

Speaking of which, I agree with you that this look of awe as well as realization is mostly mixed up with guilt. Since he didn’t take into account her words, he felt the strong need to apologize. But bear in mind that guilt formulates a considerable part in Colin’s feelings for Pen... and it’s only the very beginning. In the future, he’ll blame himself for not seeing her as the beautiful goddess and siren that she is in the first place. He’ll blame himself for not reciprocating the feelings for her.... Though at the moment, due to his lack of experience with women, Colin is oblivious to Pen’s obvious signs of sorrow when he told her he’s leaving for Greece/Cyprus. Next time, he’ll detect her sadness and won’t let her go, I’m sure of it (if he doesn’t I’ll riot).

Furthermore, I’m so glad you brought up the scene where Colin glances at the Featherington house. I had the same thought as well. When you put this still and the one where Pen is crying while looking at her window side by side, it even seems like they’re looking at each other. In a way, it implicitly confirms Pen’s key role in his final decision... After all, she’s the one who inadvertently inspired him right ?

The act of traveling has always been seen as cathartic since leaving home to discover yourself allows you to heal your broken heart and soul. It’s natural for Colin to do this. To make his first real steps into the world. His choice is quite relatable more than it is essential for his arc in the series. I can’t wait for him to come back all changed, hot ^^ and mature. I think, like you said, they are planning on making him progressively falling in love with her. Colin’s feelings will gradually leave the platonic zone to explore and officially stay in the intimate zone throughout the seasons.

Overall, the Colin/Marina and Colin/Penelope parallel in s1 mostly helps viewers to compare the way Colin evolves from being a stubborn naive boy to a heartbroken young man who’s aware of his crutial need for Experience. His coming of age, just like Pen’s, has just begun. And they will surely lead to our boy changing himself into the true charming rake that he’s meant to be and our girl into a more confident woman. Consequently, I think their story won’t take 10 years but rather at the very least 5 years perhaps to fit the TV timeline. Once Polin will finally be able to discuss, we’ll hopefully get to see more interesting nuances and shades added to the portrait they painted of one another over the years. They’re indispensable to the slow build up of their emotions/attraction as well as the shattering of their childish idealization/perception of each other.

All in all, I’m so loving the fact that season 1 beautifully sets up the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story. This first installment is like an expository scene of a play. It leaves a trail of clues and pieces of information here and there at the reach every viewers who can pick them up and analyze what can be the main themes which will determine one character’s story arc/romance. With Polin we have : admiration, wit, love and friendship, desillusionment. (I know they are more but it’s all I can think of rn lol).

If we’re already emotional messes just with the mere power of them looking at each other, imagine when they’ll actually talk and share real conversations. It’s going to be a long way to canon but luv me some good fluffy angsty steamy slow burn :) ✨ I hope this long of mine answers your ask ahah, even if I talked about many things other than just Polin’s looks. Also, sorry if you spot some grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

#bleulone answers #anon #ask #meta and gush #polin #polin meta #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #julia quinn #romancing mister bridgerton #bridgerton #shondaland #chris van dusen

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waynewifey · 4 years ago

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Reunited —

Pairing: POA!Sirius Black x reader; young!Sirius Black x Slytherin!reader.

Summary: (request from @holdupwhat) hey there! can i request a sirius x slytherin!reader? maybe sirius and reader reunite after sirius escapes from azkaban but reader is unsure about him. angsty with a fluffy ending? thanks btw love your works!

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: angsty, mentions of death, crying, fluff?, bad writing lol

A/N: I got very excited but idrk how to write angst?? I tried my best tho, hope you like it. <3 Oh, and english isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Flashbacks in italic!

(gif not mine)

Godric’s Hollow’s streets were strangely empty for a summer afternoon. All doors and windows were closed, not a single car passing by. Complete silence in the village, if not for the tapping sound of your sandals. You walked down the sidewalk, to your neighbour’s cottage, slightly holding the skirt of your white dress. Once at their door, you knocked three times. A couple seconds later, an old lady answers, pointing her wand at your face.

“Oh, it’s just you.” She lowers her wand, getting out of behind the door. “How can I help you, Ms. (Y/L/N)?”

“Hello, Mrs. Clearwater.” You smiled. “I was baking some cookies and ran out of brown sugar, I was wondering if you could lend me some. The Seven Swans is closed, for some strange reason.”

“Of course honey! Come inside, it’s not safe to be outside at down anymore.” You walked in, smelling the known vanilla scent. She closed the door, running to the kitchen, already grabbing a small bowl with the brown sugar.

“Um, I’m sorry Mrs. Clearwater, but why you say it’s not safe anymore? Does that has something to do with the reason why the village is void?” You asked, and she gave you a scared look from the counter. She looked around, the emerald eyes searching for something. Finally, she grabbed a newspaper and handed it to you. The Daily Prophet.

BLACK STILL AT LARGE, said the article’s title. Sirius Black, possibly the most infamous prisoner ever to be held in Azkaban fortress, is still eluding capture, the Ministry of Magic confirmed today; under a picture of him screaming.

“The Ministry said he could come back here. Many murderers tend to visit where they killed their victims.” She said, replacing the paper in your hands for the bowl. You thanked her with a weak smile; no words would come out of your mouth. You walked away, with your mind still a little numb.

You whimpered, your hand in front of your mouth, holding a sob. You stared at the black lake, salty tears rolling down your chubby cheeks. You took off your green tie and threw it on the grass. It was the reason why all of that happened. Simply because you were a Slytherin, you had to hear those terrible words from James Potter. You hated it, and wished you could be sorted to Gryffindor like the rest of your family. Suddenly, you felt a warm hand on your left shoulder, which made you flinch. A boy with black curls seated beside you, his grey eyes meeting your gaze. You looked at his tie; red, of course.

“Want to bully me some more? Go ahead, I don’t care anymore.” You sobbed, your vision getting blurred from the tears.

“No, I’m here to say that I’m sorry. I should have stopped James.” He broke eye contact, staring at the lake. “I have a brother who’s a Slytherin, Regulus Black. He’s in first year, and I wouldn’t want him to go through the same as you.” You remained quiet, wiping your tears with your hands. “My whole family is Slytherin, actually. You can call me the black sheep.” He giggled, returning his gaze to you.

“Why are you saying all this? Just go away, it’s not like you care.” Your voice broke, but you hoped he hadn’t noticed.

“I- I do care. I always thought you were fun, you see. I’m truly sorry for my friend’s attitude, I can promise you it won’t happen again. And maybe we could be friends...?” He said and you giggled, nodding. He extended his hand out. “Sirius Black.”

You grabbed it, shaking a little. “(Y/N) (L/N).”

And after that evening in second year, your friendship never ended. Instead, it only grew. You started dating in fifth year, fought against Death Eaters in seventh year and were moving in together when he was arrested.

While remembering his presence and your story, you somehow ended in front of the ruins of the Potters Cottage. (Y/E/C) eyes filled with tears as you remembered the first time you visited it, when it wasn’t destroyed, in Harry’s first birthday. You remembered the broom Sirius brought as a gift, how he held your godson and him telling you that he wanted a baby of your own. The love of your life, a murderer. He betrayed James and Lily. He killed thirteen muggles. The sky was getting darker and you could barely see the end of the street, so you decided to go home. You crossed the front garden, glancing at the door. It was slightly opened, not how you left. You were sure you locked before leaving. Your right hand automatically ran to your pocket and held tightly your wand. You raised it, opening the door with your foot. “Who’s there?” You said loudly, walking through the living room. The first floor was clear, so you went up stairs. Your heartbeat accelerated at each step. You opened your room’s door, stepping in. A man sitting on your bed wearing a large t-shirt and sweatpants, his long black hair was wet and he looked down at a picture frame. “Sirius...?” You mumbled. His eyes met yours and his lips formed a wide smile. A hundred emotions busted inside of you. All the memories of the moments you spent together flashed through your mind. “Love.” His voice was hoarse and low. Black stood up and walked towards you. “You stay where you are! Not one more step. I- I’m warning you! I won’t hesitate.” Sirius stopped, his smile breaking. Your mind was racing. There was a murderer inside of your house, but he was also the man you loved. For the first ten years you tried to collect evidence that he was innocent, that he was not the monster everyone thought but there wasn’t proof enough and you gave up eventually. Your mind raised expectations that maybe you were right, maybe he was innocent, maybe if he explained everything... Deep down you trusted him, but fear spoke out first. “You- Why here?” “You know I’m innocent. You know it was Wormtail-“ “YOU KILLED HIM! James, Lily, Peter, it’s all your fault! And you have the courage to come here? You betrayed everyone, Sirius Black! You betrayed me! You’re a monster. I don’t want to see you ever again. I won’t take you to the ministry, but you better leave.” You felt the same pain and anger you felt in November 81. Your heart broke again, just by seeing him standing there, hoping you would help him. “(Y/N) I-“ He stared at you, tears falling while you held yours. “Leave.” And then he was gone.

Living without Sirius Black again was worse that you could imagine. It took you ten years to finally recover, and now the sore was open again. Every night your words tormented you, filling you with regret. You was always reading the news, would it be better if they found him or not? What if he was already dead? Was he alone, lost in the world?

It was late May when Remus Lupin, an old school friend, showed up at your front door. He looked tired and sick, with dark circles around his eyes. You invited him in.

“I came from Hogwarts.” He was anxious, almost tense.

“You’ve been teaching, right? Defense against the dark arts, if I remember it correctly. Harry writes me sometimes, usually at Christmas, when I send him presents. He likes you.” You poured some tea on his cup, smiling proudly at the thought of your godson.

“Yes, exactly. But I’m not here to talk about Harry.” He sipped the beverage. “I met with Sirius. He gave us some trouble, actually.” You stared at him, holding your breath. “You have to believe me, he is innocent. But unfortunately we can’t prove it. He told me he came here and that he misses you.”

“Where is he now?” Your voice broke a little, while you hold your tears.

“His family house. Are you willing to meet him?” You only nodded, getting up.

At 12 Grimmauld Place, Sirius and Remus explained everything to you. You were relieved to finally know the truth and to be reunited with your husband. You three spent the night chatting and telling your stories from the past few years. Around 11pm Lupin left for his room, wishing you a good night. You sat on the couch next to the fireplace resting your head on Sirius’s chest, his arm embracing you and his hand laying on your waist.

“I’m sorry for what I said before. I- I don’t know, I guess I believed for so long that you were this horrible person, and-” You tried to explain, but he cut you with a kiss on your lips. Merlin, you missed him so much.

“It’s okay, I understand. The house is a little dusty, but we can make it work.” He said, staring at the fire.

“You want me to stay?” He turned to you, a confused look on his eyes as it was so obvious. You could see your reflection on his grey orbits, given the small distance between you. You brushed your fingers through his curls, smelling his natural sweet perfume.

“Of course I want you to stay. I would like to be your handsome husband again, if you’ll have me as so.” Sirius giggled and leaned closer, kissing the top of your forehead. You entangled your fingers with a smile. It felt so good to be reunited again, this time with no worries, just the certainty that they both loved each other. He looked at you, as you were his whole world and cupped you face with his big hands. “I love you, (Y/N)(L/N).”

“I love you too, Sirius Black.”

#harry potter imagines #sirius black x yn #sirius black #sirius x y/n #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #request #remus lupin x y/n #remus mention #sirius angst #fluff imagine #angst imagine #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders fanfiction #sirius orion black

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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LMAO YOU ACTUALLY PUT THE TW VIOLENCE HAHAGDSHS

so the better university is in germany.. you already live in germany.. but germans aren't good as good at english lol and lemme get this straight- UNIVERSITY IN GERMANY IS- wait shit Imaooo i read that wrong, I THOUGHT IT WAS 75¢ HDJSHS like 3 quarters😭 but that's still less expensive compared to the US, 75€ is about 90$ here... i just googled it and (apparently) college is typically around $27,000 in my state (22,588€ i think lol) but wowee gee whiz. i think waiting till you’re physically there is the best decision though, just really seeing how it is, how you like it and stuff. BUT WAIT Imao i'm rereading what you said as i'm responding, but the university sounds good!! hopefully your professor isn't the one writing the english on the website Imaoo. your english is fine hdhsjsh & why are you up at 3am😭

i'm literally jumping around udhsj but no that did absolutely make sense hahah i just really enjoy talking to you & wanted to tell you what's up lol but yay we're around the same age hdhagajs

+ yes i have !!! thank you LMAO I BET YOURE NOT THAT BAD JHDJS that whole paragraph actually made me laugh. dude i could neverrr write a script where people have to act it out? lmao it would not be pretty (though i need to work on that) well if you’re not good at acting, you’re hella good at writing (I FINISHED THE ENTIRETY OF UR PETER MASTERLIST AND I AM EMPTY & I AM SCREAMING- i’ll send in another ask on my favorites and all my replies bc WAH they had such an affect on me.......... it’s not ok. like affectttt)

HAHHAA “trash garbage” yea... she was helpful in helping me get my first lead on stage but yea that school as a whole was pretty 💩 but honestly thank youuu <3 my new favorite thing? “thump them in the eye with a sharp metal rod” i think i have one in the basement LMAO

that was a joke...... i think this will also need a tw..... but all my asks are messy lmaoo- not me missing the heritage thing in the tags: that’s so cool!! i’m guessing you’ve been the england since your mom is british? knowing two languages sounds so cool😔 and you speak really good english btw (is that rude-) OOHH so you’re german bc you were born in germany but none of your blood family is german & ur mom is british? bRO that’s so cool like literally 😎 i wanna travel so bad and the UK is first on the list (probably in two years.. i do really wanna study abroad or be a foreign exchange student or something) then Jamaica (bc that’s where my mom is from and i’ve never been) and then all the pretty countries lol

have a good day/night idk lol it took me really long to write this + idk why jdhsjshsj

- lovely anon 🥰

OKAY HI OMG (I was about to say giiirrrl but i never asked for your pronouns or anything so let me know if it’s okay if i say giiiiirl in the future lol)

I saw this at 3 am and got so excited lol but my sleeping schedule has been so awful lately that I forced myself to sleep instead of replying to this 😔

Okay so... if you put it like THAT then yes, the university in germany sounds a lot better lol. But yeah like you said I won’t fully decide until I’ve actually been to university (well, it’s online but ykwim) and that starts in april and honestly i can’t wait sksjshh but yeah i’m like 90% sure that i’ll be staying here already. And yes let’s pray that it’s not one of my professors who writes the shit on the website sishshg😭

also what you said about wanting to be a foreign exchange student or studying abroad... i felt that. but even if i end up studying in germany, with my degree, you have to either do an 8week programme (program? idk) where you go to an english speaking country,,, or you do a whole semester studying abroad so i’ll probably go to england one way or another lol and i can always do my masters in the uk (if i do a masters degree i haven’t even figured out what i’m doing this year let alone in three years loll)

Also I really have to stop saying lol so often lol

Also I have to stop saying also at the beginning of every sentence lol

Also (😔) i enjoy talking to you too 👉🏼👈🏼 you don’t know how happy i get whenever i see that you sent me an askd sjsjhshshs

And yupp i used to go to england like three times a year but because of cov*d i haven’t seen any of my english relatives since 2019🥺🥲 BUT the uk is so so so nice i love London but I also love the country side and esp the north of england 🥰🥰🥰 (that’s where most of my relatives are) and yes you deffffff need to visit one day!!!!!!!

Also (also is such a good word tho sksjsh) likeee i definitely don’t think it’s rude when people say my english is good dkdhsg so thank you 😌 but if you heard me speak english irl, i don’t have a german accent or anything and i’m 100% fluent but writing like this is different because it’s like... it’s not an essay so obviously not every sentence has to be 100% grammatically correct but i always worry that, because people know english isn’t my first language (only because i’ve told them), people think my english is bad and that i’m making mistakes when really it’s normal to just.. not use 100% grammatically correct word constructions all the time if that makes sense...? (I don’t think it does 👁👄👁 this was the worst paragraph i’ve written in my life i’m SORRY ksjshs, usually i’d delete this but i feel comfortable talking to you so even if it doesn’t make sense i’m not deleting my rantssjshsh)

And yup, speaking multiple languages is (in my opinion) one of the coolest things ever, i’m fluent in english and german, i had latin from year 7-12 so even though it’s not a language that people speak anymore, learning latin was one of the coolest experiences of my life (which sounds so lame dkshshs) because obviously in all the roman languages soo many words come from latin, so sometimes when i hear/read words in languages that i don’t even speak i can tell what it means thanks to latin. I can also kindaaaaaaaa speak/understand italian (where like 90% of words are the same as in latin or even some english and german words so i never had to study the vocabulary in school skshsh) and a liiiiiiittle tiny bit of french and serbian. I know quite a few people who speak 3+ languages because a lot of my friends are the same as me and have parents who aren’t german so they speak their dad’s language, their mum’s language AND german and it’s like the most fascinating thing in the world for me

I HAVE TO STOP TALKING NOW I’M SO SORRY WHATDKSKSJSNSMHDS

And ooohhhh my mum’s best friend is from Jamaica and my mum has allllll these beautiful pictures from when they went to jamaica together when they were younger (goals)🥺🥺🥺 so i really hope you can visit one day✨✨✨ (i wanna go to jamaica too one day sksjs but i think it’s even cooler if you’re like actually jamaican obviously and it’s linked to your heritage)

OKAY THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS I AM SO SO SO SORRY SKSHSBAKSKSHSJAHAHABA but i enjoy talking to you so i shouldn’t really apologise but still like what was the point of all my rambling? Nothing basically dksjsh also I feel like i keep talking about myself but idk what to say and likeee i don’t even know, so how has your life been since covid? (That’s My attempt to ask about YOU lmao tell me whatever you want about yourself sksjsh)

Okay byeee 💖💖💖💖💖

Edit: i realised i haven’t said anything about you finishing/reading everything on my peter masterlist AHSJSKKSBSBSSBSB thank you thank you thank you, sooo i can’t promise anything but i will most likely post a new fic this weekend... but idk if it’s going to be good? I randomly started writing it last night and i definitely like the plot but i’m always so insecure about my actual writing and wording but yeah... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#lovely anon #<3 #tw violence #who even needs to put a tw for violence on a last like this 😭😭#*post #lmaodnsjshsh i love us #okay it felt so weird when i kept writing ‘mum’ bc obv i’m british and have a british accent and everything but i don’t actually call my mum #mum #i call her mama bc it’s german (and probably sounds so weird if you’re english/american)#so i’m tempted to say mom #but really i would say neither mom nor mum so... sksjsjsjhshs #oh god i’m so sorry that you have to put up with me ahahaha ily #why am i nervous ab posting this dkdksmshs #sorry there are probably 16 sentences in this post that dont even make sense

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cafeinthemoon · 4 years ago

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I know that I’m kinda late to say this (I was shy/procrastinating) but I just wanted to say how amazing, sweet and beautiful was your Tobirama’s fic series “It’s take courage”, “That wasn’t a genjutsu”. I was so addicted to them, I remember being really excited evertime you posted a chapter, I was going through hard times at that time and reading it was what cheered me up❤️ and I gotta say your writing is just PERFECT; the plot, the characters (soft Tobi was just awwn >_< ♡), the details description, everything! You deserve all the recognition girl, you’re my favorite writer!

Currently I’m reading your Madara fic and the feelings are the same❤️ I’m already so in love with it!! (Sorry if I commit any mistake, english isn’t my first language. Btw I’m from Brazil too)

WAIT WHAT A BRAZILIAN FELLA ?? 💕💕 Girl don't worry, everyone makes mistakes and your English is really good!

This series with Tobirama is very special to me, bc it started as something unpretentious (and I haven't watched Tobi's parts in the anime when I wrote It Takes Courage lol), so comments like yours mean a lot to me. I am genuinely happy to know that my writing helped you through a hard time. As a I writer, it's a privilege to be able to help you through my stories and I'm glad for it!

Btw this Tobi series has a new and last part, Let Them Go, but it's only available on ao3 for now. And this Madara fic is just my obsession atm 😁 There are sm I want to bring to it that I can't tell rn lol

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lauwrite1225 · 5 years ago

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Broken Crown || Finan x OC || Chapter 3.

Summary : Since the day he has been enslaved, Finan never thought that he would have to face his origins. But when an old friend made his arrival to Wessex, the Irishman his forced to deal with his past.

(Flashbacks are in italic.)

English isn’t my first language, if you see any mistakes, tell me :)

Warning : None. (I assure you, there will be warnings one day lol)

03 || GHOST

“Ailis!” The Irishwoman stopped when she heard her name. She sighed. The meeting had been a disaster and she didn’t want to deal with it for the moment. She turned around to face the man who called her. He was still walking to reach her. His raven hair was a real mess and his beard must have been cut not long ago. As he approached, her eyes slowly opened wide, as she just seen a ghost.

“Finan…” She murmured. He stopped a few steps away from her. For a moment she hesitated. But she could easily recognize his brown pupils, the shape of his nose and his small smile. God, this smile that she thought she will never see again. She ran to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Tears streamed down her face when she felt him tighten her waist.

After a moment, she moved away from his embrace. She took his face between her hands to stare at him closer. His eyes were also wet, but she knew it was of joy. There were new scars on his face, the one on his forehead was the only one she knew. He looked older too, but it was still him.

“I thought you would be dead.” She said softly, still uncertain of whether she should trust her vision. It’s been so long since he was gone. After years, she had accepted the truth. He would never come back. But there he was. Safe and sound.

“I am pretty alive.” He answered, smirking, ear to ear.

“Oh, God.” She hugged him once more. She had so many questions. So much to understand. But for the moment she wanted to enjoy their reunion. She held him tight, almost scared that he’ll disappeared if she didn’t.

“Finan.” Raised a strong voice further in the corridor. Her friend withdrew his arms from her waist and turned to the man who called him. He looked like a Dane with his long hair and the sides of his head shaved. “You know her?”

“I do. She’s an old friend.” He explained, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Ailis, this is Lord Uhtred. A great man.”

“You made a big impression with the Witan.” He said, almost amused. She rolled her eyes, wanting to avoid the discussion.

“Have you known each other for a long time?” She asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks. She was curious to know how Finan ended up here, in Winchester. For the little hope she kept of finding him, this was certainly not a place where she expected to see him nor in such good health.

“Too long to count.” Uhtred laughed.

“Then where did you meet?” The two men faces became dismal. Finan’s eyes met hers and she shivered. There meet wasn’t a nice story.

“On a slave ship.” Finan answered. She bit her lower lip. She felt her heart squeezing at the idea of what he has been through. The guilt made its way in her mind. But Finan spoke again, on a lighter tone and made it disappear for a moment. “We were rescued by Uhtred’s brother. Since then, I am pledge to Uhtred.”

“And now he is one of the three bastards who fight with me.” Uhtred smirked as he wrapped an arm around Finan’s shoulder.

“Bastards?” She frowned, not knowing if he was joking.

“Yes, all my men are bastard’s son. Like that, I am sure they won’t come back with an army if I don’t pay them.” He laughed.

“Yes, of course.” She glared at Finan, a smile hiding his embarrassment.

“Well. Maybe we could talk outside.” The Irishman declared. Ailis nodded and the three of them walked out of the palace.

The woman didn’t have the time to enjoy the city. She had arrived late at night and had slept only few hours before the Witan, in a chamber that was loan to her in the palace. Her journey to Winchester had not been easy either. The two guards accompanying her died, killed by brigand on the royal road. Since, Ailis was alone and always on her guard. Now that she was at Winchester, she hoped that she could have some rest.

While they were walking, Ailis tried to learn more about Uhtred. The man was intriguing and she wasn’t disappointed when he explained her who he was: Uhtred fo Bebbanburg. This name had crossed the sea more than once. His prowess were shouted and sang in Ireland just like in all England.

After half an hour of talking, Uhtred excused himself for having to leave. Ailis and Finan were now alone in the loud streets of Winchester. An awkward silent grew between them. Ailis wanted to ask him so many questions about how he survived and what happened to him during all these years. But she couldn’t help but only think of his lie.

“Why haven’t you told him the truth?” She finally asked.

“About what?” Finan looked up to her. She huffed, knowing perfectly that he knew what truth she mentioned.

“Who you are!”

“Would that change anything? I’ve been banished from Ireland and I’ve been made a slave. I don’t have any title anymore. I’m not worthier than a bastard.”

“But that’s not who you are!” She understood that she had spoken to loud when she felt some gazes on her. Finan clenched his jaw and took her arm to lead her somewhere else.

After few minutes of walks, they entered an alehouse. There was already a lot of people but Finan did not take a table. Instead, he walked up stairs and opened the door of a chamber. It was really simple, just a bed, a chair and a table. Finan let go his grip on her arm and he sat on the bed.

“Listen, Ailis. I thought this life was behind me. I thought I would never see you again, nor Conall, nor anyone else.” She couldn’t tell if it was sadness in his eyes. She used to know him like the back of her hand when they were younger. But now? He has changed. He’s been through a lot because of what he did. Wasn’t it understandable that he wanted to move on? To Ailis, it was, but not upon a lie.

“Fine.” She nodded. She didn’t want to argue with him. Not just after finding him. She sat next to him and put a hand on his knee. She looked up at him, a smile on her face. It could never have been more sincere. Finan was her greatest friend when they were kid. His loss was one the hardest thing she had to deal with in her life. Seeing him safe and sound warmed her heart in such a strange way. “You can’t imagine how happy I am to see you.”

“And I am too.” He said squeezing her hand. They remained silent a moment, just staring at each other. Finan finally removed his hand and ran it through his hair. “So, how is your life? Are you married?” He asked as his own curiosity took advantage.

“No, not yet.” She answered, looking away.

“No man has succeeded to take your heart?” He said in a mischievous tone.

“There was one.” She admitted. “But we did not have the time to marry.” Finan frowned as she started to play with the bottom of her shirt.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized while his smile disappeared.

“He was a simple man with a simple life. All I always wanted.” She stopped, feeling her throat tighten. He died a long time ago, but still, it hurt her to speak of it. She slowly shook her head, trying to estrange the memories from her mind. “But I guess it wasn’t God’s will for me.” She looked back to Finan’s brown eyes. “I have a duty to fulfill.”

“Serving Conall?”

“Serving any man who would have taken the crown.” She corrected him. “That’s what my father wanted.” Finan slowly nodded.

“How Conall did become… King?”

“Well, King Lugaid died not long after you were gone. Irial succeed him but he died one year after, in battle against the Danes. After that they established a settlement in the South of Ulaid. Conall get the support of my father and some Lords to be the new King. Since, he had only one thing in mind, getting rid of them. Two years ago, we defeated them.”

“Sigtryggr’s settlement?”

“One of. After we had heard of his loss of Dyflin, Conall thought it was the right time to attack. But now they want revenge.” She sighed as she lied her back on the bed. “I need to speak to the King.”

“You sure he will talk to you again after the Witan?” He laughed. She rolled her eyes and got up.

“I should go back to the palace, get some sleep. But I still have a lot of question for you.” She gently smiled at him and he gave it back to her.

“I’ll wait for you on the palace’s stairs, tonight.”

“Tonight then.”

…

The room was filled with the strong laughs of the King and Ailis’ father. The red hair girl was sat at the large table, just in front of Conall. He was back in Navan Fort after travelling during months in all Ireland. As he promised to Finan, years earlier, he left the city after their father’s death.

“Nephew, maybe you could present us the woman you have guested to my table.” Said the King pointing to the young woman sat next to Conall. She hadn’t spoken since the beginning of the dinner, only thanks to the maid. She wasn’t comfortable here and it was easy to see that. Her eyes never travelled away from her plate.

“Well actually, she’s not a guest.” Said Conall. He put down his cutleries and gently took the woman’s hand, grabbing her attention. “Moira is my wife.” He kissed the back of her hand and she gave him a shy but lovely smile.

“How much did you pay her, brother?” Finan teased him, making the King laugh once more. Ailis kicked her friend’s arm with her elbow while trying to hold her smirk. As children, the two brothers always annoyed each other and even as men, their habit did not disappear.

“You have a beautiful wife Conall. Even if it’s too late, you have my blessing.” Announced Lugaid, raising his cup.

“Thank you, uncle.” Smiled Conall before drinking some wine.

“Where do you come from?” Asked Ailis to Moira.

“Ó Domhnaill, Lady.” She answered on a soft voice, her cheeks turning red.

“Call me Ailis. Please.” Ailis may not know the woman yet, she already liked her. Her timidity made her endearing. But she hoped Moira would grow more at ease with time. Being shy in a royal court wasn’t always a good thing.

“What were you there?” Demanded Dealla. The Uì Néill princess was sitting next to Finan, one of her fingers making circles on her swelling belly. She was expecting her second child. Almost a year earlier, she gave birth to healthy boy, Rohan. Dealla was a thoughtful mother, always wanting to take care of her son by herself. Finan was more distant. Being a father was a thing he find hard to admit. But he loved his son, Ailis was sure of that.

“A simple maid, Lady.” She said, almost ashamed. Dealla raised her eyebrows, but she said nothing.

The dinner proceeded well. Conall related stories from his travel. The young man was a good story teller. When they were kids, he spent hours narrating adventures of old Irish heroes to Ailis. But not everyone was attentive to his words. As Ailis turned to Finan, she observed his gaze was on Moira. Once the young Prince noticed his friend was watching him, he looked away, biting his lower lip. Ailis frowned but she quickly turned her attention to Conall again.

How could she know that this simple gaze would be the beginning of a terrible thing?

A/N : I am so happy to publish this chapter! Mostly to expose you my theory about the fact that Finan didn’t talk about his true identity to Uhtred and the others hehe. I thought that for the first time when Osferth said to Eadith that he was an Irish bastard. It can also be just an insult to joke. But I remembered than in season 3, when Finan mentionned his father funeral, Uhtred seemed surprised that he knew his father. And as we can see in the show, bastard children do not have a lot of relations with their fathers.

Sooo I kept the theory for the story heheh.

Thank you for your likes, reglogs and comments, those are precious to me <3

Tagged : @astral-finan @geekandbooknerd @pokeasleepingsmaug @queen-manning @kelly-fasel @naihqh @ucancallmechlo <3

#broken crown #finan #finanxoc #finan the agile #the last kingdom #finan fanfiction #fanfiction

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blakescoven · 5 years ago

Text

Undress Rehearsal (Duncan Shepherd x fem!Reader)

Summary: You got a fashion degree and moved to DC to work as stylist assistant. Unexpectedly you meet a familiar face during a meeting and it seems there’s a spark between you two...but things may take a wrong turn.

A/N: Hey lovelies!! This is my first fic EVER, so be nice! Also, forgive any grammar mistake (English isn’t my first language). Since the ending is kinda open, I guess I could write a PART 2. I’m so happy to finally be able to post this one-shot, even though it sucks! I’d appreciate every comment/reblog/DM about it and about how I could actually improve my writing. This is a sort of experiment! I’m still trying to figure out “my style”. Oh and this is important: bold type means flashback, italics are Y/N’s thoughts and // means a few days passed! ENJOY and thank you for reading! I love you.

Warnings: mean!Duncan (just a little), making out and veeery light NSFW, plot!twist, lol I think that’s enough(?)

Word count: 6.1K

moodboard by the talented @hecohansen31

You were late again. It happened twice this week. But how could that happen? You had always been a punctual and reliable person, at night you ensured that the alarm was correctly set and you never went to bed too late, afraid to not being able to wake up the morning after. So how could it be possible? Maybe because of your jetlag, but after almost a month, well, this had become a really bad excuse. Then perhaps, the frenetic pace was already affecting you that much, making you too tired to hurry up and get ready. This couldn’t happen again; you were jeopardizing your new dream job because of this straggler behavior. While you were running along the streets of Washington DC, those were your recurring thoughts. Your wheezing and the speeded-up heartbeats, pounding in your hears, were drowning out any deafening noise coming from cars and traffic, which always filled the city driveways.

From the early hours of the day, the avenues were swarming with people going to their office, each of them withdrawn into oneself, busy minding their own business with their smartphones, bringing takeaway breakfast on the other hand. You were way too anxious and distracted from running breathlessly; you had already bumped into three stupid human beings, slowly strolling down the sidewalk like damn sloths. Every single step was followed by a quick glance at your cellphone screen, checking the time and ensuring there was no missed call of your boss.

If you knew anything in this world, it was that you had to take this job seriously, dealing with the fact that your exhausting dues would have allowed your eager ass to work your way up and finally become a fashion designer. So, you didn’t expect any great satisfaction to come very soon. And starting from the bottom was really tough. After years of studying and a well-deserved university degree, you were prepared for whatever the future might have brought. Despite that, you didn’t expect at all to end up in DC, working as a stylist assistant. Sure, this would have opened the door to your real dream job, be part of the style department, designing collections for a luxury brand. You had tried your luck moving to New York, but you ended up broke, with no savings left and no available job opening. For this reason, you decided to take that chance here. You hadn’t made any progress till now though. You were new, yes, but your tasks and assignments were hardly restricted to bring coffee or running around the Capital with tons of garment bags for upcoming fittings.

Finally, after that insane 3km rush, without even stopping for a second - no, you couldn’t afford an Uber ride every time -, you arrived. Your feet hurt like hell, your cheeks covered with scarlet shades like the worst of sunburns and your breath coming in short gasps…and your hair, oh dear Lord, it was a mess. You were sure you were also sweating. Luckily, Richard, your boss, was quite nice to you and somewhat tolerant; he was sincerely impressed by all your efforts, skills and abilities, so much that he wasn’t utterly certain what you were doing there.

Five minutes past the established hour and, thank God, the client hadn’t arrived yet. You didn’t have much information or details about that meeting. You only knew that you had to help during a fitting for a client, extremely influential on the political scene. He needed a few new looks and outfits for public appearances, interviews, and fundraising events. Of course, you assumed he would have been an old middle-aged white man, with too much money to count and eager for power.

Mr moneybags is getting late tho. Too busy making grands? you thought.

Meanwhile, you were trying to look more presentable, also to not risk damaging the brand reputation.

“Y/N?”

Your calves burned and, in that moment, you thought that bringing extra sneakers would have been a good idea.

“Y/N?!”

Since the client hadn’t arrived yet, maybe you could sit down and rest for a minute on that super comfy booth near the mirror…

“Y/N!!!! HELLOO!!!” Your train of thoughts was abruptly interrupted by your boss’ yells, which suddenly caught your attention.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry, I zoned out! Forgive me, what can I do for you?”

The man, a healthy and elegant 40ish brunette, looked at you concerned “Y/N I know it’s hard to settle down, but I need you to be 100% focused today. The man who’s coming is a big deal for us, he’s a powerful figure in Washington politics! He has recently taken her mother’s place as CEO of the family company. So, I want us to make a good impression!” after saying that, he looked at you from head to toe, a bit baffled.

“So…” he continued “…I need you to – in that moment you really hoped you were about to receive a major task, finally a turning point – ..to run to the bar across the street and buy some coffee, and come back quickly!” All your expectations fell apart in a sea of disappointment. “Hurry up!”

You put on a forced smile and went straight to the exit.

After having waited in line for centuries, you figured that probably the client had to have arrived, and therefore, just as you had started your day, you came back running as fast as you could, to save time.

You were holding the coffee cups in your left hand, while you were struggling to turn off your phone, which had started ringing. Opening the glass door with your hip, you were still trying to silence the ringtone, this, without even minding where put your feet up. Ugh, mom, stop calling me...always the worst timing! you screamed in your own mind, frowning. Before you could slow down your steps, one of your heels didn’t grip well the lacquered floor, making you stumble and trip. A sudden change in your balance and you couldn’t avoid slipping forward, causing the not-so-angelic flying of coffee directly on the special guest of the situation.

Damn it.

And to make matters worse, you fell to the ground, cursing the day you were born. Hell no, it can’t have really happened to me. You had just made a complete ass of yourself. You would have rather sink below the waves into the oblivion.

“OH SHIT SHIT SHIT I-I’m so sorry! I-I don’t know h-how it happened!” you were apologizing, still keeping your eyes fixed on the once-full cups rolling down the parquet, next to your badly chipped mobile touchscreen.

“The floor must be slippery…please let me make it up to you, I ca- ” you stopped all of a sudden when you lifted your gaze, for the first time since you had stepped in. Standing in front of you there was the most attractive man you’d ever seen. His piercing blue eyes were fixed on you, like two burning flames almost forming deep holes in your soul.

It’s hot in here or it’s just me?

He was tall and his toned arms were easily visible through the once-white shirt. Now that expensive fashion piece was all covered by a huge stain of hot coffee. And it was your fault. You were speechless. Your attention all focused on the man’s features. Your gaze was busy running down those perfect shaped cheekbones and the sharp jawline. Oh boy, gods’ gift indeed.

Oddly familiar to you though.

You clearly remained to stare for too long to not be noticed, because the man himself broke the silence.

“Uhm, don’t worry” he seemed taken aback for a second “I’ll send it to the cleaners or I’ll throw it away, I don’t care” he said, immediately composing himself, while carefully unbuttoning the ruined shirt, with those long fingers... You were blushing. His low soothing voice sent shivers down your spine. But his tone was plain, no apparent emotion, he seemed almost indifferent, maybe even a little annoyed. Ah, pompous ass.

Your attention was caught by your boss, who, with a worried voice, while pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed, proposed him to choose another shirt among the others and take it as an apology gift. The man accepted, nodding with a crooked smile and with smug remarks about the needlessness of gifts for a man as rich as him.

Cocky asshole! You mused, with a roll of her eyes.

Anxious to change the subject, Richard, started the introductions. “Mr Shepherd, she is my smart – but clearly clumsy – assistant, Y/N” at that very moment that name awoke the memories in your mind.

No. It can’t be true.

“Well, nice to meet you” he remarked “Y/N”, repeating your name like he was tasting it on his own tongue “..or so.” he added, with a stupid smug grin on his breathtaking face. When they shook hands, you felt a sort of jolt and realized you had been holding your breath all this time. You remained silent.

That was the same man you met 6 months ago on the flight you took to go to New York, when you moved for the first time. It was him the influential man of the meeting.

Duncan-fucking-Shepherd.

Duncan. This name was the only thing in your mind right now, while you were lying on the couch, in your little apartment, with a glass of wine loosely resting on your lower lip. Oh my God, did he recognize me? Did he figure out it was me? How had he called me that day? Oh, his angel, right. Fuck.

Your head hurt, but you couldn’t help but keep on repeat your two first meetings again and again in your mind. The Duncan Shepherd from today was completely different, compared to the man you had encountered on that plane.

He hadn’t talked about himself very much, just spilled that he was a businessman traveling for work. You had immediately noticed how mature he was to be in his late 20ish. And incredibly handsome. And charming. And seductive.

Ok, stop.

You still couldn’t understand why you. Among all the attractive available women he could easily have, during all the time of the flight, he had been flirting with you. You. He made you feel sexy, desirable and safe, after a very long time.

It was the first class. You were there because of a lucky misunderstanding. While the plane was taking off, you two had a moment, since he saw you panicking. You had started talking for real only two hours after having left Milan. The conversation started casually, then developed into a flirty game. Little did you knew that a few hours later, you would eventually find yourselves making out so much intensely, whilst the rest of the passengers was sleeping with lights off. This wasn’t like you; you were strangers after all. Damn, you only knew his first name. But you couldn’t help your crazy attraction towards him. A sort of electricity, a particular connection that you had never felt with anybody else in your life.

You were staring off into space, completely lost in your inner thoughts, while biting hard your lip and fidgeting with the hem of your oversize t-shirt. You nervously swallowed and closed your eyes. Your hand began to move from the fabric and wander over your bare legs, brushing them with your fingertips. Throwing back your head and swallowing again, you frowned and sighed. You couldn’t make those thoughts disappear. He got under your skin and no matter what you did, you couldn’t shake him.

His soft lips on yours, hot and peachy, the trailing of his wet open-mouthed kisses along your throat and the series of marks he was leaving on your skin, on the way down your collarbone. Feeling the smile of the other against your lips as you two kissed. The best feeling in the world. His small moans when you had pulled his lower lips between your teeth, while his hands were touching and roaming all over your body, as if he wanted to memorize each spot, each curve, each part of you. “Baby I wish it was just the two of us right now, damn, I want you so badly” he whispered. God, if they had been alone, you’d have gone further for sure. You were both turned on, you could tell, especially from the prominent bulge on his designer pants. All you wanted was to climb on top of him, straddling his hips, panting in his hear and feel his hot breath all over you. Intense was the craving to undress him, feel his skin against yours. Shit, it was like a living a dream.

The meeting had been canceled and rescheduled for tomorrow. The situation was quite unpleasant. What you were supposed to do now?

Judgment Day had come. You hadn’t slept at all, all night spent tossing and turning between the sheets and looking at the ceiling. How were you supposed to act now? Should you have mentioned anything? What was really killing you, was the feeling that ‘your moment’ had meant nothing for him. Yes, after 6 months, you had gone over it, also because you had no idea how to contact him. But after seeing him again, all the buried thrills came rushing back. You absolutely needed to test the waters today. What did you have to lose? Well, your dignity maybe. If he wanted to, Duncan could have easily said something. And of course, a man of his status could have anything, or anybody, he wanted. Maybe you were overthinking, maybe not.

Since it was almost dawn, and the sun was peeking through the blinds, creating a delicate play of lights and shadows on the curtains, you decided you could actually distract yourself choosing what to wear for the meeting. You shouldn’t have done it. Your bedroom had become a battlefield, all your clothes scattered all over it, like some lifeless leftovers of the closet, now empty. Almost like a little bomb went off. You kept trying combinations on combinations, each time taking off the pieces and throwing them away anywhere around you, as if you were on the verge of a breakdown. It was still a business meeting; you couldn’t dress up too revealing or doll up too much. But at the same time, you’d never give up on being yourself and express your personality through what you wore. Respecting yourself was the most important thing. Self-love. However, this didn’t solve the problem at all. You wanted to appear at your best, challenge him, in a subtle way.

On your way to the office, an unexpected call tuned you away from your own thoughts.

“Richard! Good morning! Are you calling me for coffee? Because I’ve already stopped off at the bar, now tell me who is the best assistant in the whole world?! And I’m not even late!” your smile vanished as soon as your boss answered.

“WHAT?! What does it mean you won’t be there today?” Your heart skipped a beat and started pumping so much blood through your veins, that you felt as a heatwave was rushing inside of you. “W-well if you have family issues, we agree that it’s necessary to postpone the gathering..I-” your eyes widened at the realization that you’d be alone. With Duncan.

You almost fainted on the spot.

“I’m sure you can handle it on your own! You can still reach me with a phone call, if you ever need me. Plus, don’t you think this would be the right chance to prove yourself and finally level up, get noticed and considered for that vacant position in the style & design dep.? My money’s on you, girl!”

How could you blame him, though? He was always so encouraging.

You sighed through the phone, so he added “Look, it won’t be hard. Remember that Mr Shepherd is in your hands. We have to turn him into one of the brand advocates; he’s young, a self-made man, the best choice to promote the brand awareness. It’s up to you now.”

Wow, that’s very reassuring you figured, shaking your head.

“Ok, you can do this, I have to go now, let me know how it goes. Bye!” Fuck.

“W-wait! I can’t do that withou-” he has already hung up. Looking up to the sky and letting out a frustrating grunt, you allowed yourself a childish whine and mumbled a ‘why me’.

Now you were standing outside the building, trying to collect yourself before entering. You were wearing an oversized see-through blouse, tucked in a black knee-length skirt, and an *accent color* blazer with rolled-up sleeves, to complete the look. You were ready to fight. No more clumsy bullshit.

Breathe, remember to breathe you reminded yourself, looking at the elevator door.

You strode next to the receptionist’s desk, Tiffany, or, as you liked to call her, ‘Crazypants’; since her eyes were always so disturbingly wide open – Does she ever blink? – and her hair painfully pinned back, so tight that must have hurt her. She seemed a cross between a barbie and a psycho killer. As soon as you walked by her desk, Crazypants greeted you overly excited, calling you with her earsplitting high-pitched voice. You put on your fakest smile and replied,

“Morning Tiff, uhm, I wish I could stay and chat, but I have work to-”

“The client is already here. He’s waiting for you in the fitting room” she winked. Hell, you hoped your blushing wasn’t so obvious, you couldn’t even have a few minutes to be psychologically prepared. Well, maybe better pull off the band-aid.

“Thank you for warning me! I’ll be right there” you answered. Not even before your exams you felt all this pressure.

Why is it always so hot?!

Walking along the hallway as if you were going to your own execution, you found yourself in front of the door of the rehearsal room. You gently opened it and entered. Do you know when, at some point in movies, there’s a slow-motion moment with background music?! There it was. Precisely. He had his back turned, gazing the skyline through the glass wall. And the second he heard the clicking of a pair of heels, he turned his head, smiling at you and looking intensely at your figure. You were about to die for real now.

How could someone be so beautiful?

His hair perfectly styled, his hot stubble,... Oh, that stubble was your weakness. You could already feel it between your legs and…

“Hey hey, easy with that” he teased with his deep honeyed voice, pointing the take-out coffee cups you were holding. You winced and giggled

“I’ll never stop apologizing about that, ehm, incident…but if you want one, go ahead!”

You looked at each other smiling for a while, until you had to break the silence and eventually get down to business. “So, I guess it’s better if we start…Mr Shepherd, so then you’ll be free to go back to work”, he exhaled and nodded

“Oh please, just call me Duncan.”

You saw a sort of shift in his features. His face went blank. He adopted a bossier and intimidating position, like last time. Ok, maybe he just wants to keep it professional, I understand.

“When is Richard coming?” he questioned while taking his trench coat off. “To be honest, it’ll just be me today, but it’s all right, you’re in good hands” you slightly smiled. He sighed again and you rose your eyebrow, taking it as an unspoken insult.

“Is there a problem?”

“Well, yes, I didn’t come here to waste my time with a newbie assistant.” Your jaw dropped.

“Excuse me?”

“No need to get upset darling, this is what you are, after all” he stated shrugging. You were speechless; yes, you were an assistant, but the way he said that, as if you were a dumb zero…What an asshole.

“Oookay, since I’m here..let’s continue” he glanced at you, waiting for her next move. “I agree, you can change in the wa-” you paused; he was literally undressing in front of you.

“What? There’s nothing you’ve never seen...I guess” You were confused…was he teasing you or something? “You should be more professional, I’m saying it for you”, your rage slowly increasing and flowing throughout your entire body. He was a completely different man, with all those unnecessary mean remarks. He gave you mixed feelings. You would have punched him, but at the same time, contemplating his perfectly-shaped heavenly body, his toned muscles, his thighs..you wanted to jump on him, kiss him and be his, in every way possible.

“You’re staring.”

“W-what?! No. I’m waiting for you to finish undressing, so I can give you the first change to wear..”

“Sure.”

You’d already had enough of his attitude. “I suggest starting with this evening suit, since Richard told me you’ll attend a charity gala in a few days.”

“Hush, please, save it. I don’t need all your pointless suggestions. I can handle it by myself.” he seemed almost..angry? You didn’t know how to hit back anymore. Why was he acting like that, all of a sudden? He tried on a few different outfits while you were staying there, silent, shifting your weight from a leg to another, your eyes wandering through the room, your lips pressed into a thin line and your mind trying to figure out what was happening. Duncan, noticing the tapping of your fingers on your thigh, rolled his eyes and gave you an annoyed look.

Then he huffed “Impatient, uh?”

You were hovering on the brink of an outburst.

“Why don’t you do your job and bring me some water, or take notes, or whatever you get paid for?”

“My job is helping you find a set of appropriate clothes for various occasions, trying to create the right mix & match that suits your taste and personality...” you retorted in a plain tone.

“Oh, thanks for the not required explanation, Wikipedia..”

“..but I’m not stupid, I know what a fucking stylist does” he was pushing your buttons.

“If you’d allow me to do my job, instead of questioning me, I could recommend something..”

“No need to whine, baby girl…So do it, instead of staying there like a scared little girl.”

“If relying on someone to select your wardrobe really bothers you..why don’t you choose them by yourself?” you sassed, struggling to remain polite.

“Well, I’ve demanded the help of a professional, not that of a ‘coffee-bringer’…and I’m wasting my time here”.

Ok, that’s enough.

He was still a client, but for you being treated like that wasn’t acceptable anymore. “You know what? I don’t fucking care if I get fired after saying these words. But I’m done with your dumbass comments. You’re a douchebag. I’m trying to do my job and, just because you’re rich and influential, you think you can treat me like that. Like I’m trash?” you were finally giving in to an outburst “The saddest thing is that I really hoped you would remember me. About that moment we shared 6 months ago, on that flight to New York. But obviously, I’ve given it much thought. Turns out that I’m just one of many, aren’t I? I’ve been thinking about you for weeks and when I saw you again, it all came flooding back. I’m so stupid. It’s not your fault, I was wrong to think that day could have really meant something.”

While talking, you were struggling to hold back the tears, you weren’t supposed to look pathetic, but your eyes were already watering. “So, do me a favor: end this meeting now. I’ll call Richard and tell him to take care of you, since you do not believe I’m capable enough to fulfill your needs..”

“..oh and don’t worry about seeing me again, I don’t want anything to do with you! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got work to do.” you spat, entering the small wardrobe room, without bothering to switch on the light, hoping that your angry tears would have remained unnoticed in the darkness and that Duncan would have gone for good. So you started moving crutches on the clothes stand, to make room for those outfits to restock over.

Unexpectedly you felt an arm around your waist, holding you tightly. It was Duncan. He hadn’t left.

His body pressed against yours, you were paralyzed, his arms keeping a firm grip on you. What’s happening? You knew you should have pushed him back and kick him out, but something inside you decided against it. It was like a part of your dumb heart wanted to stay still in that position forever. You two remained silent, until he whispered in your hear, with his hot breath and his cologne filling your nostrils - a mixture of cinnamon, sandalwood and tobacco.

“I’m sorry..” he sighed. He sounded sincere.

“..I went too far.”

Now your own hands were resting upon his arms. You could feel the heat his body was radiating right now. With a honeyed soft tone, he murmured “Please forgive me, I don’t know what came over me. It’s just that having you standing here again, in front of me, stunned me. I didn’t know what to do and I misunderstood your demeanor. I thought you were pretending nothing had happened, or that you didn’t recall that day, or that you simply didn’t care.”

His hold slowly loosened, allowing you to turn around and look at him with narrowed eyes and a puzzled expression, without a word.

“Uhm, I’m not very good at communicating my emotions, but you’re right. I’ve been a dick. You didn’t deserve it, but I was overwhelmed by the attempt to suppress my own feelings. Since I saw you again,”

he paused,

“you are all I can think about.” he admitted, stroking your tear-stained cheek with his thumb, but you tried to resist him,

“I hope you’re not trying to play me, because otherwise I’ll smash that stupid hot smirk to the ground.”

“So do you think I’m hot, uh?!”

“You dumbass.”

“God, you’re so damn sexy when you’re mad.” he teased, coming closer.

“What?” you giggled. He stared at your lips “I just can’t stop thinking about kissing you right now…” and unexpectedly, his hand drifted to your hip, pulling you even closer. You inhaled deeply. You were against his warm chest, sculpted to perfection. Why must he be so perfect? You placed your hand against it, intending to push him away, but instead you left it there. You froze, from both fear and excitement.

You two stared into each other’s eyes and his breathing quickened as did yours. He slowly leaned in, so his forehead rested against yours. You closed your eyes. Your faces were inches apart now, and he lightly traced your lips with one finger. His other hand placed behind your neck, shortening the distance even more.

Your noses bumped and your mouths matched up slightly-opened, breathing each other’s air directly. He brushed his lips against yours and you freaking loved it. You loved the way your body melted into his. The way your lips perfectly fitted like two puzzle pieces. The way Duncan held you tighter and tighter. It sent shivers down your back. His only desire was to touch you, to move his hands under your layers and feel your smooth skin.

You two broke the kiss for a second to catch your breath. Then he pulled you in, claiming your mouth again, hungry and intense. Duncan lowered his hands down your hips, cupping your ass and dragging you impossibly close. You deepened the kiss swallowing his groan of pleasure as you lost into each other, no space between you two. His hands were exploring your body, while you grabbed his hair tightly to restrain your own moans.

Slowly, you started exploring each other’s mouths with your tongues. Sometimes sucking his lower lip and biting it a little bit. He started kissing your jaw and leaving hickeys on your neck. He didn’t want to let you go, so he pulled you again and kissed you so hard, with much more intensity. He squeezed you, suggesting that he wasn’t going to stop. You didn’t mind at all and continued making out.

He slowly put his hands under your blouse, trying to reach and unhook your bra, eager to run his fingers along your breasts and rub it. You began unbuttoning his button-down, seductively leaving wet kisses and love bites on his chest. He moaned. Then Duncan raised your blouse and took it off completely, so he could see you.

“You’re beautiful” he purred, and started massaging your chest and kissing it hardly, licking and biting gently your nipple. While Duncan was playing with your body, you could only keep on tugging his hair, making his moans vibrate against your body. Then he kneeled down kissing your stomach.

Both of you couldn’t silent your groans anymore, the entire room was filled by sexual noises. But you didn’t care at all. You knew where it was going. Duncan pushed you against a wall, grinding on you and you could clearly feel his hardness pressed against your body. You needed more friction.

“Jump.” he suddenly hinted, and used his veiny arms to hold you up by your thighs lifting you off the ground. You wrapped your legs around his waist. Your core was throbbing at that very moment.

But you were brought back to planet Earth right after; that divine feeling was ruined by a pesky thought that clouded your mind.

What if he’s just interested in sex?

He sensed your sudden slowing down. “If you want me to stop, tell me now,” he whispered. When you remained silent, he brushed his mouth against your temple,

“Or now.”

he followed the line of your cheekbone,

“Or now.”

now he was kissing your chin,

“Or—”

then your lips were against his, again. You kept undressing slowly, savoring the moment.

But that damn thought came back, stuck in your mind. And eventually it hit you. “Wait…wait” you said, trying to steady your breathing.

“What’s wrong angel? I did something wrong or..” he questioned worriedly. “No, not at all, it was perfect..but I don’t think this is right.”

“Wait what?! Why?” Duncan replied in disbelief.

“I’m not a yes girl, Duncan. I’m not looking for casual hookups, I really want to know you better and see where this leads us.” you smiled reassuringly, caressing his cheek. You were scared as fuck. Maybe he wasn’t interested in any kind of relationship, just random booty calls. But you had to take the risk. You wanted to.

“Uhm..yeah. I guess that sounds fair enough.” he chuckled and you released the breath you didn’t know you were holding. “How about a coffee date? I know a place, it’s quite secluded, to not attract the attention of press and journalists” you tilted your head and frowned,

“What do you mean?”

“Angel, I don’t want you to be targeted by newspapers, they aim to find some dirt on me and make every aspect of my private life public. I prefer keeping a low profile, and put you in an uncomfortable position is the last thing I would want.” “Oh, ok. I got it.” you were a little thoughtful, to be honest. But in that moment, you would have agreed with everything he was saying. You used every inch of strength you had, to stop and not go further. Not that there was anything wrong with that. You just wished to learn more about that handsome man in front of you; his desires, his passions, his values and aspirations.

“I’d better get back to work, they’ll wonder what happened to me.” he smirked. “Yeah, you better hurry up, then” you laughed, while putting your blouse on. “I’m gonna put aside the chosen clothes” you informed, but before you could leave the cramped room, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back in his arms, giving a last soft peck on your lips.

“How can I focus now, with the thought of you against me?!”

“You’ll have to make do with the memory..” you shot back “..for now.” you cooed, whispering in his hear.

The rest of the day went off without a hitch. You had exchanged numbers and with all those texts you were sending to each other, you felt like a schoolgirl again. Nothing could have ruined that sensation. Before going back home, Richard called you, questioning you about the meeting, not noticing your struggle to not make disconnected sentences or beat around the bush, to hide your embarrassment. Then, to thank you for having his back, he gave you another assignment: a high-society lady had requested a selection of gowns to choose, to attend a few fundraising events. Another important add-on for your CV. A few more efforts and they would have finally offered you the long-awaited position in the creative team.

The consultation had been set up two days later, you had to go to the customer’s penthouse this time. Ugh, lazy rich people. You rang the doorbell and right after you were greeted by a thin blonde girl, all fake boobs and tinted tips, wearing a dress that seemed closer to a long top, rather than an actual dress.

“Hey, you must be Y/N! Come in! I’ll be right back” she yelled. You came in holding the garment bag; you were shocked when you found out how actually big the apartment was: super modern, black & white themed and with some art hanging on the walls.

Uhm, de gustibus you muttered to yourself.

“Here I am, sorry for the waiting. I am Madison!” Why rich people seem so reluctant to share their last name with me? you mused, smiling to yourself.

“Let’s start, shall we?”

And then Madison took you to what has to be her large bedroom. Odd. That seemed more like a bachelor to you, but judging wasn’t your thing.

The fitting went smooth as silk. This Madison was a bombshell, every single dress fitted her body as it was sewn on her. For the upcoming event she chose a nude silk dress, that perfectly matched her skin tone. She looked pretty excited for the pick, so much that she started screaming and calling out loud, making you aware that there was someone else around.

“Muffin come here!!! I chose the dress!! It’s perfect oh my God! You must see it before I take it off!”

MUFFIN.

Seriously? Do not laugh, please, do not laugh.

You were biting her lip a little too hard. While Madison kept calling her…muffin, you decided to do something and began packing all the stuff back up into the bag.

“Oh finally, you walk so slow, babe��now, look! What do you think?” Before the man could answer she continued “Oh wait, how rude I am. Y/N, this is my fiancé...”

As soon as you turned around and lifted your gaze, your heart stopped beating.

“…Duncan!”

His smile soon disappeared too, replaced by a shocked and guilty expression, like a deer caught in the headlights. You froze in place.

You were trying to hold back the impending flood of tears, washing it away with your anger. A million different feelings rushed through you, but at the same time you couldn’t feel anything, just your own heart, literally breaking down in pieces.

“Do you already know each other?” Madison asked, noting Duncan’s surprise. You gathered all the strength left within you and stated

“Just one of the many customers.”

Then, lowering your broken voice, you sputtered a “Now I really have to go.”

Without saying anything more, you took the garment bag and run straight to the door, shutting it down behind your back. Right after, a teardrop rolled over your cheek, and your eyes started watering. Once that the first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. Before turning into a sobbing mess, you walked fast down the hallway, reaching the elevator and waiting for the doors to open up.

Before you could take another step, a large hand took you by the wrist, keeping you in place. You turned around and instantly pushed him back, trying to free yourself from his grip.

“Please,” he begged,

“Let me explain. Please, I don’t want to lose you! We have something..w-we can talk about it, please, wait!”

“Go to Hell” you snapped;

and then you shoved his hand away, entering the elevator. Stupid. I am so fucking stupid. You two looked at each other one last time, shedding tears. The eyes of both soaking blatantly. And then the doors shut.

That heartbreak felt like concrete drying in your chest.

________________________________________________________________

Tagging: (I hope you don’t mind BUT tell me if you want to be removed, I was just curious to know your opinion about it, if you'd like to read it) MUCH LOVE @ladynuwanda @hecohansen31 @michael-langdon-appreciation @sojournmichael @so-langdon @stupidocupido @sammythankyou @emmyrosee

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badwolfwrites-sometimes · 5 years ago

Text

Drawn Together: Chapter 12

Feliciano might be overreacting a bit over this.

He was currently sitting on his phone, waiting for Elizabeta to respond to his slightly angry messages over not even giving him a hint of what to expect. Poor Ludwig was left on read.

Feliciano was excited, he truly was, but for some reason he was scared. Ludwig Beilschmidt was extremely close to being his new favorite author and then he messages him and Feliciano is freaking out because he does not know what in the world is he supposed to do. Responding is a good way to start, but what should he say in order to not sound like a weirdo? Now he knew how fanfiction readers felt like commenting on their favorite stories.

Maybe he should rule out 'have my babies' as a possible answer...

While he was having his meltdown, he failed to notice that it was suddenly night and Elizabeta responded.

Lizzie: Well... Lizzie: In my defense I did tell him not to say that Lizzie: Keep his identity hidden

Okay, Feliciano was furious now.

♡~Feli~♡: You could ve at least warned me ♡~Feli~♡: Like idk hes not what he seems feli ♡~Feli~♡: Or something like that

Lizzie: Sorry *sad face emoji* Lizzie: Lud has no experience talking to people online Lizzie: So I didn't want to burden him with being too careful about being a writer Lizzie: But he really wanted to talk to you so please don't feel weird around him Lizzie: Pretty please Feli ♡

And now he felt bad. He was acting like an asshole to his friend who was just trying to help her own friend. And Ludwig was still waiting for a response.

Artisloveandlife: Hi Ludwig! Artisloveandlife: Tbh when Lizzie said she had someone who wants to talk to me I was kinda expecting a fellow fan Artisloveandlife: Talking to the author themself is a big deal so I'm sorry if I'm awkward.

Feliciano didn't even get a chance to rest his phone.

Lutzie71: You are not awkward. Lutzie71: But I have a question. Lutzie71: Who is Lizzie?

Artisloveandlife: Elizabeta. Artisloveandlife: Does she go by a different name now?

Lutzie71: I am sorry. Lutzie71: I am just used to calling her Betty.

Artisloveandlife: Don't apologize *big smile emoji* Artisloveandlife: She used to go by a lot of nicknames in middle school so... Artisloveandlife: Did you know that her real name isn't even Elizabeta? Artisloveandlife: It's something like Erzebet??

Lutzie71: Erszebet. Lutzie71: I asked her.

Artisloveandlife: Elegant, are we? *laughing and crying emoji* Artisloveandlife: But you call her Betty like Otto and Alice. That's so cute!

Lutzie71: Yeah... Lutzie71: The character Elizabeta was made after her. Lutzie71: She was pestering me too much about it.

Well, that's kind of cute.

Artisloveandlife: That sounds like Lizzie. Artisloveandlife: But why did you want to talk to me? Artisloveandlife: I don't think authors normally do that.

Lutzie71: Well, you painted that beautiful piece of art and I have been looking for someone to do a cover for it and the second book. Lutzie71: So I thought I might ask.

Feliciano almost flipped another table at that. There is going to be another book?! For real?! He was only stopped from flipping things by Lovino calling him angrily. Right as he was texting Ludwig at that.

Lutzie71: I apologize for asking such a private question, but you never told me your name?

Well, of course Feliciano would forget something like that.

Artisloveandlife: Feliciano. Artisloveandlife: Sorry, I forgot. Artisloveandlife: Call me Feli.

Feliciano made his way downstairs as quick as he possibly could, just to see what his brother wanted from him now. He noticed two brown heads instead of one.

"Hey Toni!" Feliciano said.

Both Lovino and Antonio turned to face Feliciano. Lovino's face was as if he just ate a whole lemon and Antonio looked slightly worried. "We need to talk." Lovino said simply.

Feliciano nodded, feeling his phone vibrate, but he couldn't respond right now. That would piss Lovino off. "What is it?" He asked.

Lovino sat on the couch, motioning for Antonio and Feliciano to sit as well. Feliciano chose to sit on the stairs, a gut feeling telling him something wasn't right. He wondered if Antonio and Lovino had a fight, but when Antonio sat down next to Lovino, wrapping him up like a blanket, he relaxed.

"You know how Nonno is coming home tomorrow?" Lovino asked, not looking at Feliciano.

"Yeah." Feliciano answered. "Will you two tell him?"

"That's why we're talking to you." Antonio responded, interrupting Lovino as he was about to open his mouth and respond. "Feli, I don't know if you know this, but coming out is a big thing. And it only becomes harder when your heart is already devoted to someone." He squeezed Lovino closer to himself. "If something goes wrong, it's not just you who gets hurt. They get hurt as well. And it takes a good amount of time to properly come out to someone, so-"

"Keep your mouth shut, Feli." Lovino interrupted.

Feliciano nodded, he wasn't planning on saying anything anyway, but now he was more scared than ever of what his brother would do if he even let a tiny bit of it slip. "Can I go back to my room now?" He asked.

"Do the dishes first." Lovino said with a smirk.

Feliciano groaned. "But I did them yesterday!"

"Well, Midget isn't here right now."

"You can do them once in a lifetime!"

"Can't. I have a guest and important business to attend to."

"Making out isn't a business!"

"Neither is art."

Feliciano gave up before it escalated into a fight. He checked Ludwig's message before turning up music to do his work.

Lutzie71: Feliciano has a nice tone to it. It means 'happy one', doesn't it?

It was nice to see that Feliciano wasn't the only person in the world obsessed with name meanings. At least now, he isn't alone.

Once Feliciano was finished with the dishes, he sneaked up to his room before Lovino could give him another task to accomplish. He really just wanted to text with Ludwig right now, a thought of a great friendship growing in his mind. He sat on his bed and responded.

Artisloveandlife: Yess! Artisloveandlife: You know your onomastics, I like you already!! Artisloveandlife: I look forward to working with you on the book!

Lutzie71: So you accept my offer?

Feliciano giggled. Cute.

Artisloveandlife: Yup! Artisloveandlife: On a condition that I get to read it before anyone else.

Lutzie71: You would have to fight my brother for that.

Artisloveandlife: Ahh I don't like to fight... *sad face emoji* Artisloveandlife: I'll read it after him.

Lutzie71: I just asked him and he said you can read it first if you paint him a portrait of himself. Lutzie71: In a Prussian uniform from 1770s.

Artisloveandlife: Deal! Artisloveandlife: I have no idea what he looks like but I'll do my best!

Lutzie71: He looks like an idiot. Lutzie71: And he's passed out on the floor now.

Artisloveandlife: Is he alright?

Lutzie71: Yes, he just had too much alcohol. Lutzie71: He looks rather comfortable next to our dogs.

Feliciano gasped.

Artisloveandlife: You have dogs?!?!?! Artisloveandlife: Can I see them? Can I please see them? I love dogs!

Lutzie71: I suppose you can. Lutzie71: Let me just figure out how to send you a picture.

Feliciano waited, smiling to himself. It's been a while since he talked to someone online, he almost forgot how exciting it would feel. Moments later, he got his response.

It was a lovely picture of three dogs perfectly nested with a white haired man. They were all ranging in size and colour. Feliciano didn't know much about dog species so he chose not to assume what they were. Them being super cute was what won Feliciano over, as he was on the floor with his legs high in the air, smiling and making strange noises whales would probably understand.

Artisloveandlife: THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!! Artisloveandlife: THEY MUST BE SO FLUFFY!! LUCKY!! Artisloveandlife: Also is that your brother?

Lutzie71: Unfortunately yes. Lutzie71: They aren't really fluffy, but they are rather cuddly.

Artisloveandlife: If this was anime world youre brother would be dead. *dead face emoji* Artisloveandlife: SO CUTEE!!

Lutzie71: Oddly enough, you are not the first person who made that comment. Lutzie71: Also, I apologize but I am not sorry for this. Lutzie71: Your*

Artisloveandlife: Ah, thanks. Artisloveandlife: English isn't my first language so I make mistakes. Artisloveandlife: Whats the difference anyway??

Lutzie71: Your is for showing possession. For example your brother, your sister, your car, ect. You're is a short form for you are like I'm is for I am. Examples are you're driving, you're cooking and so on.

Artisloveandlife: You explained that like a teacher. *smile emoji*

Lutzie71: A lot of people get it wrong. It is a common mistake.

Artisloveandlife: Is that why you type them out every time instead of shortening them?

Lutzie71: You could say that. Lutzie71: In any case I must go, my brother would just continue sleeping on the floor if someone wasn't there to carry him. Lutzie71: Good night, Feliciano.

Artisloveandlife: Lol Artisloveandlife: Good night Ludwig. Artisloveandlife: Remind me to send you a picture of my lovely babies *yellow heart emoji*

Lutzie71: I will.

For the first time that night, Feliciano looked at the time. It was almost 2 a.m. He had been so engrossed into his conversation with Ludwig, he hadn't even thought about how late it was. There was no way he could even fall asleep after all that.

Before he knew it, morning came and he hadn't slept for a second. Instead, he spent the entire night rereading his texts with Ludwig, still in utter disbelief that he's talking to an actual author he admires. Most of his favourite authors have been dead for the past 800 years. Serves you right for liking Dante so much, Feliciano.

He decided to make something to eat and relax nicely. Their grandfather was coming home today so that means there's tons of cleaning to do and no time to rest. He turned on the TV and decided to watch some cartoons.

"Feli." A voice called for him.

"Feli, it's noon. Wake up." Someone was calling.

"Wakey, wakey, little Feli~" A melodic voice was calling, demanding that he wakes up. Strange, he wasn't even-

Feliciano opened his eyes to messy brown hair and a smile. He fell asleep? When? It didn't matter right now anyway, since he was awake.

"Morning, Toni." He smiled.

Antonio messed up Feliciano's hair. "Good afternoon, Feli."

"Those jokes suck. Stop it." Feliciano joked, adjusting himself in a different position on the couch.

"Never!" Antonio sat next to him. "Lovi is asleep too and Meo escaped somewhere again. I guess it's up to us to fix this place for your grandpa."

Feliciano looked around. Sure, there was dust everywhere and probably a good amount of spiderwebs, but overall, the place was actually less of a mess than it could be. "It's fine like this. He'll only stay for a few days so it doesn't matter."

Antonio pinched his cheek. "It does matter. He's your grandpa. Now, are you going to help me clean or are you going to wake Lovi up, soldier?"

Feliciano didn't even give it a thought. "I'll help you clean!"

"Good!" Antonio smiled.

"But first, let me check my phone." Feliciano said, already reaching for it on the table in front of them. He had a notification from Tumblr.

Lutzie71: Good morning, Feliciano.

This was sent at 9 a.m. Feliciano admired Ludwig's skill to wake up so early after talking to each other till so late.

Artisloveandlife: And a late good morning to you too *smile emoji*

Ludwig's response was almost instant.

Lutzie71: You are just like my brother, only you actually woke up.

Feliciano giggled, catching Antonio's attention. "Who is it? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?" He asked, a huge smirk stuck on his face.

Feliciano's ears grew red, his smile shaking. "Just a friend." He answered.

"That's how it always starts." Antonio commented before getting up to make himself some coffee.

Lutzie71: You told me to remind you to show me your babies. Lutzie71: I am very curious to see if they are comparable to my dogs. Which I doubt.

Artisloveandlife: Meanie Artisloveandlife: Let me find them first.

Feliciano got up and searched around the house for his "babies." They were actually two cats, a grey one and a white with brown spots one. Both were Feliciano's. He got them for his 20th birthday after 20 years of begging. He found them asleep in the 1st floor bathroom and, without much thinking, snapped a picture which he sent to Ludwig.

Lutzie71: I must admit their adorableness. Lutzie71: However, they aren't nowhere near my dogs.

Artisloveandlife: Big meanie. Artisloveandlife: Pookie and Gino are worthy of being the greatest cats in the universe Artisloveandlife: Even witches' cats are afraid of their power.

Lutzie71: They still can't compare to my dogs and their wisdom.

Artisloveandlife: Im beginning to suspect that your dogs wrote your book for you

Lutzie71: I will not reveal such secrets.

Artisloveandlife: So they did *smiling and crying face emoji*

Lutzie71: Okay, jokes aside. We know Aster, Berlitz and Blackie are superior, but Lutzie71: I am curious about what you thought on the book. Lutzie71: My brother complained that it was too cringy.

Artisloveandlife: We never agreed to that tho Artisloveandlife: It was a bit cringy at some parts like those romance bits Artisloveandlife: Even tho I fangirled like there was no tomorrow because they were meant to be with each other Artisloveandlife: But overall it was a really good book Artisloveandlife: You were a bit immature in that field so it made me laugh a lot

Lutzie71: I guess it helped in getting my point across.

Artisloveandlife: Point?

Lutzie71: The innocent suffer in wars. Lutzie71: I wanted to write about the soldiers who have their families and lives which they had to leave behind in order to die for a cause irrelevant to them. Lutzie71: Because what we remember from them is always just a number. Not their lives or their deeds, just whether or not they make the number of deaths increase. Lutzie71: I wanted to point out that they are so much more than than. More than a number.

Artisloveandlife: That Artisloveandlife: That is really meaningful Artisloveandlife: But why did you choose The Thirty Years War? Artisloveandlife: Wouldnt it be easier to just use World War 1 or 2??

Lutzie71: Because, unlike them, The 30 Years War was a long time ago and people have mostly forgotten about it. Lutzie71: That's not the case for the World Wars. Lutzie71: They are still far too fresh in the world's memories. Lutzie71: There's also the fact that I am German which is why I felt wrong writing about the wars my country mostly started. The 30 Years War was a result of an unstable situation in Europe. Lutzie71: You could say that I was afraid of writing about the World Wars.

Artisloveandlife: This converstation took a turn for something really depressive

Lutzie71: Conversation*

Artisloveandlife: Sorry Artisloveandlife: My fingers slipped *smile emoji*

"Feli! Are you helping me or not?" Antonio called for Feliciano, startling him a bit. He was still in the bathroom, on the floor and petting his two kitties as he read Ludwig's messages.

Artisloveandlife: Im gonna have to go now Artisloveandlife: My grandpa is coming home after a long trip and we have to clean the whole house Artisloveandlife: Which is a lot Artisloveandlife: Ttyl Ludwig *winky face emoji*

Lutzie71: I have no idea what that means. Lutzie71: Good bye, Feliciano.

Feliciano raced to meet with Antonio for a spring clean up, not even noticing new messages from Ludwig. He was reluctant to clean the house now, eager to return to texting his friend, but he had to put some of his excitement into a good use. His Nonno was coming home and for the first time in a while, Feliciano had made a new friend. One that he intended to keep.

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cassandras-nest · 5 years ago

Text

.Invisible man.

So here we are, the first chapter is here (and i’m terrified..)

disclaimer 1: english isn’t my first language, so i apologize for any mistake

disclaimer 2: this fic uses references to the very first internet service, chatrooms & all, i was 20 back then and there were no smartphones yet.

disclaimer 3: Deakster:John CoolCat:Cassandra

pairing: 00s John Deacon x OC Cassandra

warnings: brief mention of divorce and paranoia. Age-gap (20/50), extremely slow burn, very angst, probably sweet at very end (multichapter)

thanks @binkyisonline for everything, without her i wouldn’t be here, writing silly things

summary: Newly divorced John Deacon joins the Queen forum’s chatroom with a fake account and start talking with someone who completely understand him and make him feel alive again. He finds himself obsessed with her pretty soon....

"Yeah, I think that laughing makes me feel better. I try to think about good things and smile, even if I had a bad day. It’s better than worrying too much." - John Deacon 1979

*CoolCat is online*

……………………..

CoolCat - Hey D., you’re already here :’D

Deakster -…today was quite boring, so yeah…how was school ?

CoolCat - a really big NOPE day…but I’ll tell you in a bit.

Deakster - oh ok…still busy?

Cool Cat - oh no, not so much, I just came back it’s all..

________

This was her new normal from one month and a half, almost since the day she joined the official Queen forum and the chat room as well.

She was in London from less than a year attending the London Fashion College and apart from people from her classes she didn’t know anyone in particular; she wasn’t much an outgoing person anyway, but it was ok. In her perspective, now her studies were more important.

One day, too much free time on her hands leaded to, finally, join the official Queen chatroom. She was already registered onto the forum but she didn't have time to actually talk to people or post something but that day she was bored, more than usual, and while the school was closed for winter holidays, she found herself with nothing more to do..

Now thanks to an impulsive decision, she found so many people to talk to with the same love and passion for a band that changed her life forever.

Luckily she found some new “friends” too. One in particular who she talked to almost every time she was there, between school, her new part time job and a almost non-existent private life.

She didn’t know much about him, he was nice and very well behaved so she assumed he was a bit older than her. She even didn’t know his real name, not that it wasn’t important but it was ok, for now. She only knew that he lived in London, like her, but she never asked where exactly and he didn’t tell her too. It was just a really nice and easy chat to pass the time and probably she will never see his face so... why bother about all this anyway?

________

CoolCat - so?Why a boring day? Tell me..while I finish up my dinner : )

Deakster - I’m no that interesting y’ know?i don't know why you still talk to me anyway

CoolCat - don't start, i talk to you ‘cause i want it to ...so go on then, wanna know..why boring?

Deakster - I was at home all day, cleaning up…listening to old music, I wasn’t much in the mood for tv or reading today.

CoolCat - sounds interesting ;D

Deakster - i told you it was boring, no need to mock me ):

CoolCat - I will never ;D

Deakster - as much as I want to believe you, I don’t. Are you laughing at me right now, aren’t you?

CoolCat - I assure you I’m not, ok maybe a little bit.. picturing you doing all things housewife-y is fun..and cute, maybe.

Deakster - am I cute now? Now you totally making fun of me, you little devil :’(.

CoolCat - oh, you realizing it now? That i am indeed evil? I thought you said that you were smart once… :).

Deakster - that i am, i didn't know i was going to meet a tempting devil on my way ;)

CoolCat - eh, life's full of surprises …

CoolCat - back on topic, do you still want to hear how bad my day was instead? It's funny...in its own way

Deakster - and probably much more interesting, go on tell me then…

CoolCat - alright …..in short, they didn’t like my patterns at all..not even one….

________

He didn’t even know why he was still there.

It was supposed to be a one time only...twice at least, just to ease up his boring life a little.

But now?

At first the idea of joining the official band forum was absurd - its own band, what the hell he was supposed to do or say?

Hence the idea of creating a fake account, he really missed the people, the noise, the attentions that once were given to him. In short, he missed the fame and he was bored out of his mind..

Newly divorced, although he and his ex wife were still on speaking terms, she was one of the few people to know him well after all, but still, life had put him through a lot and his life had changed so much in few years

Now he find himself in up-north London, all alone in a small fancy apartment, and 50 years old already.

He didn’t want anyone to know it was him, he wanted to be free, just be himself and not the worldwide famous rockstar. So the idea he had seemed the best way to do it

- and quite silly- his ex wife commented once with a laugh..

It was basically hiding in plain sight, if people knew better, his nickname gave it away a lot, but in a Queen forum not really, not so much…

________

Deakster - so you have to do them all over again? Like you did last week ?

CoolCat - basically yes, but better and it’s so frustrating…I know it’s for my own good, I know it but..fuck….. uh, sorry, it slipped :/

Deakster - hahahahaha don’t worry about it, I used to be worst than that :D

CoolCat - really? You didn’t say one single bad word since I’ve known you..

Deakster - that’s because I can behave in front of a young lady ;)

CoolCat - LOL omg! you know, you talk like a really old man.

Deakster - I am an old man !

CoolCat - you’re not, you’re funny! ;D

Deakster - I can be funny and old at the same time y’ know?

CoolCat - haha yeah right xD …

Deakster - ..and you’re mocking me again.. :/

CoolCat - am not, I told you you’re funny..thank you btw, you really cheered me up, sorry about the rambling...

Deakster - my pleasure and..don’t worry about it :D

________

She didn’t know why it was so easy talking to him, but it was indeed, even if they had a limited time whenever they chatted, every time it was worthy it. She felt safe with him, from the first moment they spoke, relaxed even and she really didn't know why..

It was the first time that a man didn’t ask her for special pictures or talk to her in a creepy way and, honestly, it was quite a relief.

Each day that passed she, slowly, became the curious one but and didn’t know how to tell him just after two months but she really wanted to know more about him.

She liked their unusual friendship and really didn’t want to ruin it, so maybe it wasn’t the right time anyway..

CoolCat - as nice as it was, now I have to go..i’m so sorry D. : (

Deakster - oh, it’s ok… :’(

CoolCat - oh don’t cry, I’ll see you another day isn’t it? :D

Deakster - yes! This old man could use some nice company, every now and then..

CoolCat - I’m flattered :* ..i’m a nice company after all…

Deakster - less when you, clearly, make fun of me :P

CoolCat - ouch! You hurt me ;) …. Now for real, I have to go or I’ll have to pay way too much for my internet.

Deakster - allright..allright, listen…

He stopped for a second, torn between his rational mind and his instinct...a question in his mind for days.

Deakster - Can I ask you something?

CoolCat - maybe next time D. but if it’s important…i can stay a little more..i think

Deakster - no, not all…next time it is :D

CoolCat - ok, bye :*

……………..

*CoolCat is offline*

It wasn’t an important matter, but he really wanted to ask...he had that question in his mind for two weeks or so already…

It was stupid? Probably.

It was too soon? Absolutely.

But he felt different, he felt at peace, he felt alive again, all thanks to her..and that’s what he needed these days.

Almost everyday he was there waiting to talk even if for few minutes and he didn't know why. Infact, he knew little about her, but he didn’t wanted to seem too pushy even if he wanted to know more every time.

In almost two month they talked about almost everything: he knows she was a Queen fan and it was a “family thing” like she said; her mother was a long time fan so it was natural for her to knew about the band. She didn’t have a favorite one, she was more into their music and, to his delight, she liked almost every song he wrote, making him feel really proud. He knows she was attending the London College of Fashion and he smiled to himself at the silly coincidence.

She was a big time fan of fantasy literature, especially Tolkien.

What he didn’t know was her real name, it wasn’t important per se but the more they talked, the more he wanted to know.

Was it the same for her? ..

Next time, maybe...?

________

What they didn't know was that the following days soon took an unexpected turn…

Her life was already messy, but this week seemed much more chaotic than usual.

At school they had a bunch of unexpected tests, mostly pointless and boring and at work they changed her shifts without asking and now she was on the afternoon one; It wouldn't be a problem if only she could still study too, but every night she came back from work too tired to do anything more than sleep or eat. So every morning she woke up an hour or two before her actual alarm so she could did something, even if it meant to probably fell asleep in class...

Every night was a struggle to sleep. Her mind wandered to all the things waiting for her the next day and to a specific person, the one who had soon become a pleasant habit in her life and on how much she missed their small late talks.

She sighs, hoping to come back online soon.

The truth was that she really missed him..

________

He was a mess.

He logged in more than usual that week, just to check if she was there, ignoring anyone else, but nothing showed up.

Many times a little voice inside his head told him that this was pathetic, caring for a young girl like that, a girl that didn't know who he was, a girl that had a very busy life, full of interests, a girl that, surely, was not thinking about him like he was with her.

But he did, he can't help it.

She was somehow special to him, someone who listened to him for once, that talked to him not because of his fame but because she wanted to, someone that made him laugh. She was nice to him, that's all.

However deep down he knew it was all a lie.

What will happen when she would discover who he really was?

That thought scared him the most, but still, he was still there looking for her.(missing her)

________

A week passed with no news whatsoever.

She was always tired and impossibly busy, sleeping on her day off..

He was stressed with family issues with no one to talk to

He still hoped that she would showed up one day or another.

Meanwhile his paranoia started to tricked him in the worst way ever...

________

opinions?advices?constructive criticism?..please tell me what you think..

and if you like it, comment and..maybe reblog? thank you

taglist: @bluewillowmom @iwanttoridemybri @deakysgurl @deakys-chesthair @deacytits @spacedust1124719 @stormtrprinstilettos @dontstopmemeow @mydeakydoesme @culturefiendtrashqueen @babyzellodeacon @sitonmyhot-seatoflove @myguardianmailman @raven974 @chasingthespiders @bismillahnah @acdeaky @sohoneyspreadyourwings @supersonicfreddie

sorry two tags didn’t worked properly

#My writing #queen fanfiction #john deacon fanfiction #john deacon x oc #invisible man #John Deacon #oc cassandra #2000s internet #2000 #chatrooms #silly writing #fanfic writing #Queen

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darkreys · 4 years ago

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Do you think 22 is ‘too late’ to have fully realised what I want to do and decide to go back to university to study it? I’ve done many different things that ended up being wrong but I think I’ve always known I had a passion, but was just scared I wasn’t good enough to go for it 🙈

absolutely NOT too late!!! life is not a race you compete against those around you and whoever gets high school, college, a job done first "wins". all that time you spent on "wrong things" aren't a waste and in fact were extremely important steps for you to find out that's what you really want! always remember that there's no such thing as wasted knowledge, everything you've learned before is what made you get to the place you are right now. honestly i think it's cruel that they make us decide what we wanna do by the age of 17/18, we were way too young for it! and i understand you a lot about thinking i'm not good enough to be and do what i want. i chose psychology to study in college and on my first day the first class i had was "human anatomy and physiology". i got on the 4th call of the selection system my country have for students to get on universities, so my classmates were already on their 3rd or 4th encounter by the time i started and they apparently were really good in biology and i am 100% not good in biology. so i sat there the whole class and the only thought i had in my mind was "what the hell am i doing here? i'm not smart enough to be here!" conclusion: i almost flunked in my first test and in the other two i wasn't that great either. then i realized that even though biology wasn't my thing, i had to give my best and try to learn, cause grades are just a reflection of what you have learned. so when i started "neuroscience" i studied the best i could and got a B+ by the end of it. it definitely wasn't the best grade between my classmates, but it was MY best and that was enough, because i knew i did my best in a subject i struggle with. so don't ever think you're not good enough because there's people better than you, just try to do the best you can and that's enough. period.

sorry for the long answer! i wish you all the best of luck in this "adventure" lol college can be a pain in the ass but i hope you find true happiness studying what you really love. i know you're gonna be amazing! and don't ever forget that each one of us have a different journey and it's not because someone your age is graduating now that you're somehow late. there's no such thing as this. 💛

(english isn't my first language, so don't mind telling me if you find any mistake 😆)

#my dear anon i love talking to you #anon #💌

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luciousmafloy · 6 years ago

Text

First Love [pt. 1]

Luka Couffaine x Reader

my first story! yay! i hope it doesn't suck!

Soo, a few things you need to know:

1. English is not my native language so i'll probably do some mistakes lmao

2. your character is a German who moved to paris

3. french is written in english and when your character speaks german i will write it in german with the translation after it

4. i will 'use' the villains for my story not in chronological order- i hope you don't mind and understand what i just wrote lol

5. yeet

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

your pov

i stood in my new room. it wasn't fully decorated but it already looked comfy and cozy. i sat down on my grey couch and picked up my phone to text my friend f/n.

we were in Paris now for only three days and i already miss her like hell. on of my fears is that i won't make any friends here. That would suck.

"the food is ready!", i hear my mom shouting for me and my little sister.

even though we are germans my parents speak french with us, so we can improve our french. i think i'm good at the language but i'm not perfect. my sisters french isn't that good so my parents sent her to a special school, where she'll learn the language. she dumb lol. no, my sister is actually really smart. She once won a math competition in 5th grade. I could never. my math is horrible.

anyway , i walked down the stairs and sat down on a chair. It's weird that the house where we live now is our new home. it feels a bit strange, but i will get used to it by time.

"s/n, your bus will drive at 7:35 please get up tomorrow timely"

my sister gave my mom a no-shit-sherlock look and i started laughing.

"fine", she said.

"when you want to improve your french, you have to speak more than one word", i told s/n.

"i can speak french when i want to", my sister said.

"it doesn't matter. Stop it please", your mother interrupted us. she hates when we argue like that, but i can't help it.

after dinner i went to my room and turned on the tv. I found nothing interesting to watch so i decided to watch the news. I need to know at least a bit about my new home town.

the friendly red-haired news lady told something about akumas and ladybug and chat noir.

i already knew the heroes of paris, they looked pretty cool in their animal-like costumes but doesn't the spandex feel weird on their skin? when i meet them, i could ask them this. but no, probably not, that would be weird.

they showed an interview with the akuma victim. the victim was a sweet man who sells ice cream. friendly and genuine persons like him get akumatised too? okay, that is scary... i hope i won't get akumatised, i don't wanna hurt people.

after watching the news, and texting my friend f/n about this strange akuma stuff, i found a funny show to watch for the rest of the evening.

~ the next day ~

my alarm clock played my favorite song at exactly 7:15 am. my sister had to get up earlier than me, because she has to take the bus to get to school when i can easily walk to school.

i stayed a few minutes in my warm bed but after my mom yelled at me i got up and ate breakfast.

"and? excited for school? hell, even i am excited, for both of you!", my mom says to me while she drank her tea.

"yeah, but i'm scared. what when they all think i'm weird and avoid me?"

i'm definitely not the person who just wanders to people and strikes up a conversation with them. nope.

i'm the kind of person who stands alone and watches other people having fun, and then feels bad about themselfes.

"then you have to come ouf of your comfort zone and talk to people"

"ja, weils auch so einfach ist", i mumbled. (yeah, because it's so easy)

"oh, don't be a sissy. now get up and change your clothes and brush your teeth. you have to go in 20 minutes!"

"yes, mother", i said while saluting and pretending her to be my boss.

i walked upstairs to my room and picked out my favorite clothes. i feel a bit confident when i wear them, maybe it'll help me.

after brushing me teeth and doing my skin care routine i grabbed my backpack from the floor and walked downstairs to my mom.

my dad has already left for work, he always leaves early and comes back late.

"mama, ich hab wirklich angst", i said to her. (mom, i'm really scared)

"das schaffst du schon. wenn du heute keine freunde findest, dann eben morgen. versuch einfach ganz normal zu sein, dann kann nichts schiefgehen"

(you got this. if you make no friends today, you will make some tomorrow. just try to be normal then nothing bad can happen)

i smiled at my mother. she is good at cheering me up, that's one of the many reasons why i love her so much. even though she can get pretty strict sometimes.

"thanks, mom. i needed that"

my mom gave me a hug, i felt good. i love hugging people, but i'm often too shy to do it.

"oh my- i have to go now if you want to be on time!", my mom said nervously.

i think she is more anxious than me. anyway, i said goodbye to her and left our house.

i think i know the way to my new school. my parents walked the whole way with me yesterday and even if i don't have it memorized, then why does google maps exist?

on my way i put on my earplugs and listened to my favorite music. music really helps me calming myself down. i was so nervous. the students in my home town didn't really liked me. i had some 'friends' yeah, but without f/n i wouldn't have survived all my school years. i really miss her and i hope i find a f/n in paris.

when i walked into school i looked around. there were many students chattering and having fun, even though its the first day after school holidays.

i checked the time, 10 minutes until the class starts. i better search for the classroom.

with my schedule in my hands i walked up the stairs, looking for my room. i felt a bit lost, there were many students and it scared me.

"hey, do you need help?", i heard a sweet voice saying behind me.

i turned around and saw a small girl, with blond short hair and the biggest blue eyes i've ever seen.

"ähm- ah, yeah. i-i can't find my classroom"

great. why can't i form a single sentence to a stranger without stuttering?

"well, can i see your schedule?", the girl asked smiling. she is really nice.

i handed her the schedule i just got yesterday and bite my lips.

"ah! we're in the same class! juleka come here, it's the new girl!"

a girl with dark clothes came up to us. she looked like the complete opposite of the girl before me, but the fact that they are friends or maybe a couple (who knows?) is super cute.

"hi", said juleka and stood beside the sweet girl.

"that's great! we're gonna get along just fine, i know it! i'm rose, that's juleka and your name is?"

rose and juleka started walking and i followed them.

"i'm y/n. it's nice to meet you guys"

i really hope they will stick with me today. and tomorrow, i hope they are going to be my friends, because they seem really nice and i don't think i will meet other people so easily and fast like that.

"madame bustier told us that you are german! but your french is so good, i didn't even notice a accent. do you already like it here?"

rose talkes a lot. it's cute.

"thank you and yeah.. it feels weird to live here now, but i like it"

rose smiles. "that's nice to hear. look, we're here, our classroom!"

rose opened the door and i walked in behind juleka. there were a few students already here.

i noticed a girl with blue hair who was talking to another girl with brown hair. in front of these two sat a boy who listened to music.

"you can sit behind juleka and me, if thats okay?", rose asked me.

juleka already sat down on her place and looked calmly out of the window.

"yeah, yeah. that's good"

i walked up, but a girl with blond hair stopped me.

"look sabrina, the new german girl is here. they clearly don't have clothing stores in germany, when i see what you are wearing", she said and her friend faked a laugh.

"why do you care about my clothes?", i asked her.

"they look horrible, just like marinette's", the girl shrugged.

"chloé, just because no one except you can afford designer clothes doesn't mean you can pick on us!", the blue-haired girl shouted angry. i think she was about to slap chloé or something because her friend held her back.

chloé simply turned away and started to whisper with her friend.

"i'm sorry about that, but- that's chloé", marinette said to me in a sad tone.

"oh, it's fine. it's not your fault", i told her.

marinette smiled and the girl behind her leaned forward. "hi, i'm alya"

"and i'm marinette, it's nice to meet you. madame bustier has told us about you"

honestly, why are they all so nice? is this some kind of fanfiction or what-

"name's y/n", i smiled.

then a boy entered the class, causing marinette to stare at him. ah, someone has a crush. alya sent me a knowing smile, while she rolled her eyes. i just giggled and walked up to my place behind juleka and rose.

"i heard what chloé said, i'm sorry. she is like that with everyone", rose sighed.

"it's okay. i'm just glad not everyone here is like her"

"me too", agreed juleka.

"i hope she will drop that mean attitude", rose said.

a woman walked into the room and was instantly greeted by every student. it was madame bustier, she looked friendly. i hope she is as friendly as she looks like. "ah, y/n i see you've found a place to sit. but you are alone, how about you take a seat with rose and juleka?". everyone turned to me and i felt uncomfortable.

"ähm- yes, madame?", i said while grabbing my backpack and standing up to sit next to rose.

the class laughed, even madame bustier giggled. "you don't have to call me madam, y/n"

i nooded and said a quiet 'okay'.

what a start.

#miraculous #miraculousladybug #luka couffaine x reader #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #juleka couffaine #ml juleka #ml rose #miraculous x reader #ml x reader #miraculous imagine #miraculous imagines #fanfiction #x reader

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actuallyschizoid · 6 years ago

Text

Do any of you guys experience concerningly low empathy? How about limited emotional range, like a spectrum? What about sensory process meltdowns, similar to autists? Do you feel almost no emotion until hit with intensity? How about falling inlove and a best friend? Any previous ddx of anxiety or depression or adhd? Ever made stock friends for the sake of benefits? Rather One night stand than relationships or is it all to disinteresting? Any comorbid SzPD and APD out there? How did you get diagnosed? Views on religion? Im sorry for asking alot, recent ddx and idk what this means for me, never met the average schizoid to paint the picture. Some of these questions have to do with relatability to my symptoms, I guess.

Thanks for submission! Interesting questions. For me personally:

Empathy. In fact, it gets better over time. At least cognitive empathy - which is pretty much psychoanalysis on the go, i.e. taking into account what you know about each person and trying to extrapolate what would they feel, how would they react based on those feels, etc. It isn’t really connected to being able to understand their feelings on your own experience, and way more dependent on one’s knowledge of human psychology, experience observing people and just general live experience. It can be trained for anyone with some effort, but for those who lacks natural emotional empathy it generally gets better just due to having a constant reason to practice it.

As for emotional and other kinds of empathy... eh, mine’s pretty much limited to laughing along when someone’s laughing their ass off. Yeah, tiny bit of mirroring is all I get, it’s pretty useless. Though, I must say, I do get easier time to relate to feels of other schizoids, autistic people and pretty much anyone who struggles relating to average kind of people.

Emotions. Now that I’m 32, it’s probably not as limited as when I was in my 15-to-25 years, but less of a mess than it was before 15. Still those are pretty... uh, alternative emotions. I still don’t often get the “correct” one triggered on same triggers as most people. My natural tendency is to rationalize stuff, analyze it from system POV instead of getting sad and emotional.

Like, yesterday there was a plain crush, the whole local internet was buzzing about how terrible it was. I can’t say that was exactly what felt, but instead we were casually discussing the technical nuances of it with a fellow schizoid. Like what effects this kind of event might have had on this or that system, how it might have been made better, what mistakes happened there and what were the means to prevent some of those deaths. I.e more from a system design point of view, where people are just numbers in statistic rather than dead kids who won’t have live, sad parents, etc etc.

I mean, all that’s sad and all, I get it, but there’s nothing I can do to be sad about it. To me it’s no different from knowing the fact that every day on roads in my country horribly dies about the same amount of people and no one gives a single flying fuck about it. But then same people die in a plain crush and it’s a nation-wide tragedy for some reason. To be honest, if I try to dig into actual emotions I feel about stuff like that, I can find out this kind of feels look rather... wrong to me. I know people can’t help but to feel whatever way they do, and there’s no such thing as “wrong emotions”, I definitely won’t be the one to judge them. But from my POV, it’s really hard to understand this negative hype around it.

Meltdowns. Not sure I ever had an actual meltdown, perhaps as a kid. But I might not even get the idea of what it is well enough. Heavy sensory stimulation actually causes me lots of discomfort. Like, neighbors drilling their walls almost on daily basis is an utter nightmare for me. I still stick my fingers into ears like a kid, yeah. And then try to poke at my macbook’s touchpad with whatever I get left - elbows, tongue, toes... To find at least some distraction from the noise. Eh. Not sure what’d happen if I wasn’t protecting myself from this kind of stuff, tbh, I never neglected this kind of safety measures to find out if I’d be able to handle it.

About no emotions until being hit. Hmm, maybe, not sure. To me it’s more often just no emotions from one specific trigger until.. well, until the trigger is gone lol. It just never occurs if it’s not there, yet when it’s there - it’s there.

Being in love and having best friends. Never was in love. Seriously, I doubt I’m capable of it. And not sure the best friend thing relates to me either. I had some friends, but never the kind of friends whom I could entrust much about myself. Like, the schizoid person I still consider best friend doesn’t even know I have this blog lol. Or that I write a book, for example. I feel uncomfortable with the fact that people who knows me would also know... well, me. Knowing some part of my life is ok, but no way someone would have access to everything. And the better I know people, the less I feel like sharing. Yet I have absolute no issue with writing this kind of personal stuff anonymously and hundreds of people potentionally reading it.

Previous diagnosis. At early childhood I was suspected to have autism, actually. Or, well, it was long time ago so it was more of a “some development malfunction” diagnosis. I started speaking way too late, but by the time I was able to hack into this speech thing, I already was rather fluent at it, could understand more than my peers, etc. Same happened with reading. And from then on any language, be it human or programming, I can pretty much grab and use, if I want. I can turn in some youtube video on whatever language I’ve no idea about, turn in automatically generated subtitles translated to English and understand most of it, and after few hours getting the basic structure and matching a few common words with their meaning by ear. It might be related to that “could’ve had autism”, but not sure, it’s still not something I explored much with professionals as adult. And yeah, ADHD in some of its (subtile and inactive) forms could be the case too.

Stock friends. Eh, probably? I mean, some kids used to stuck on me now and then in school or college. I didn’t care much, but I tolerated them as long as they weren’t too annoying at least for the sake of dragging at least tiny bit less attention to my own weirdness. It felt like a safer option, yet most time I still have spent alone.

Relationships and one night stands. Well, I’m aro ace agender, so... Actual romantic relationships were always out of question for me, tbh. Never tried, never feel like trying in the future. Had somewhat of an experimental semi-relationship with a friend, but it wasn’t romantic much and never was intended as long-lasting (at least, not on my part). We’re still friends, by the way, there was no “break-up” (coz there wasn’t much to break in first place).

As for one-night-stands thing - yeah, that’s pretty useless for me either. Not that I’d had anything against it, were I in need to have sex. Perhaps, if I had that need, it would be the way to go for me. But since nothing really drives me for this shit, I’m fine without it.

Religion. Atheist down to the bone marrow. There was never really a dilemma for me, I knew it’s all utter BS the moment I’ve heard what the fuck is the fuss about this “God” thing people are talking about. Mind you, my mother is kinda religious (not in actual practice way, but she sees no logical issue with the idea of religion, that’s for sure). But she never dared to bring me to church for that orthodox christian initiation practice, what’s it called? Probably was afraid I’d yap about what idiots they are to believe it right in the middle of being shoved in a bucket of “holy” water lol.

Ok, that’s about it. :) And what about y’all? Feel free to add, I’ll reblog.

#actually schizoid #actuallyschizoid #schizoid #schizoid PD #schizoid traits #schizotypal #schizophrenia #depression #social anxiety #ADHD #autism #self-diagnosed #officially diagnosed #submission

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peaceisadirtyword · 6 years ago

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Secrets (Modern! Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hi! I should have posted this on Tuesday, but I didn't like what I had written, so I’ve been rewriting it since then (like three times) and, well... The result is this. I’m sorry if it’s too boring or anything, I just wanted this one to be an introduction to the story, idk... I’m really excited with this one, even if it’s not my best work, but I really hope you like it because I'd love to do this series. It’s my first time doing modern Ivar so please, don’t be too harsh on me lol. Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoy it!

English it’s not my first language so please, forgive any mistakes I may have had. Also, I didn’t have time to edit this one, sorry!

Inspiration: This work was inspired by Griffenholm Confessionals a series written by @akamaiden @ivarswickedqueen @laketaj24 and @ivarsshieldmadien (please, check it out because it’s amazing).

Warnings: Ivar, a dysfunctional family, my bad writing and the fact I named the school Valhalla Academy because my almost non-existent creativity decided to disappear when I was writing this. Also we’re talking about the Lothbroks here so probably there will be violence and smut on the next chapters.

Words: 2476 (I tried to do it shorter so it wouldn’t be that boring, I’m sorry)

Part 2

gif isn’t mine

Great, you just arrived and you already hated Denmark's weather.

It hadn't stopped raining since the plane landed, and it got worse when you got stuck in a car with your mother and her new husband.

Maybe it was because they were leaving without you.

Since your mother met John, everything had fell down. They started dating and, at first, you were happy for your mother, even though you didn't like John, but she seemed to be so in love with him you couldn't say anything.

But a year later they got married, and when they came back from their honeymoon at the Bahamas, your mother told you they were moving out to California... Without you.

You still had to finish school, and John had contacts in Denmark who could get you in one of the most prestigious schools in Europe, the Valhalla Academy.

Your mother agreed, and a few weeks after, there you where, at the back of a rented car in the danish countryside on your way to hell.

"Oh, and please say hello to Mrs. Fischer, she works at the cafeteria, if you tell her you know me she will invite you to coffee sometimes" John hadn't stop talking since you left your home, and it was starting to be very annoying.

You rolled your eyes, John had been in that school when he was younger, and he seemed to know everyone...

"I will say hello to everyone if you shut up" you said, putting on your headphones to stop listening to him.

Your mother glared at you.

"They will teach you some manners too" John scoffed, but you hummed and closed your eyes, ignoring him.

Valhalla Academy was bigger than you imagined. The entry had a big fence and a lovely path surrounded by trees, and the main building looked like a mansion. You tried not to look very impressed by it, but you couldn't help cursing when you saw how big it was.

There was an old man and a woman waiting for you there, and John greeted them with that fake, big smile he always had when he spoke to important people.

You learnt that they were the principal and one of the teachers, who would be your tutor. You didn't even paid attention to their names.

They talked for at least one hour, while you stood near the car, looking around to find some way to run away.

"So Y/N" the principal smiled at you, but you were too angry to smile at someone in that moment "Welcome to Valhalla Academy, we hope you have an amazing experience with us".

You raised your eyebrows, faking a smile when your mother glared at you again.

"I'm sure I will"

"Well, my dear, I'm sure Y/N will be well taken care of in here" John smiled to your mother "We should get going, we have to get up early tomorrow if you want to visit Copenhagen before leaving for California"

They had come with you because, according to your mother, they wanted to say goodbye properly, but you knew it was because they thought you would have ran away if you were alone. And they were right.

"I will miss you" your mother hugged you, and for a moment you hugged her back. Those past moths your relationship with her had been inexistent, but she was still your mother, and you would miss her anyway "Behave, okay? I will call you twice a week"

"Okay mom" you sighed "Have fun fucking your husband in LA"

"Y/N" she pressed her lips together, a thing she did when se was angry "Please, John is doing this for you, because he loves you and wants you to have the same opportunities he had"

"Of course he does" you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

He wasn't your father, even if he wanted to pretend he was. Your real father lived in Paris, and he now had a new family; two daughters, a newborn son and a wife... And he hadn't talked to you for months.

You could say you had a dysfunctional family.

"I will send some postcards to you" your mother kissed your cheek "I love you, sweetie"

"Bye" you got away from her. If she would miss you so much and loved you, why did she left you in that place while she was moving out with her husband?

John tried to approach and hug you, but you turned around to take your luggage out of the car, avoiding him.

A few minutes later, you were walking next to your tutor, carrying your things towards your new room.

The rooms for the students were in another building, which was almost as big as the main one.

"It's dinner time" your tutor, whose name was Mrs. Lauridsen, said "So that's why there's no students around here now, but you can meet you roommate later" she said, stopping in front of a door and giving you a key "This is your room, you can leave your things and go to the canteen if you're hungry, don't lose your key" she said with a serious expression "And tomorrow you have to be at the hall at eight o'clock, I will be there to show you around and give you your schedule, don't be late"

You nodded, with no intention of going to the canteen.

She left and you opened the door, praying to all the gods that your roommate was having dinner and not in the room.

She wasn't.

The room was big, it had two single beds, a large desk and two chairs and two bedside tables. There was one big shelve on one side of the room with some books on it.

The curtains were dark, and the window at the other side of the room was big. There was a small balcony with amazing views to the forest and a big closet in one of the corners of the room.

One of the beds was unmade, so you supposed it was your roommate's. You left your things next to the other bed and lied onto it, exhausted.

You only could hope your roommate was nice, and luckily the other students would be too busy to notice you, or they wouldn't even care.

You didn't know how much time you spent lying down on the bed, but suddenly the door opened and a girl dressed in the school's uniform came in, stopping when she saw you.

"Oh, you must be... I can't remember your name, actually" she said, offering you a smile.

"Y/N" you said, trying to smile back at her.

"Yeah, I'm Elise, nice to meet you"

You sat on the bed, looking at her.

"Same"

"Are you hungry? Dinner is not over, you still have time to grab something"

"No, thank you, but I'm fine"

"You don't seem to be very happy about being here" she walked over her bed and took her jacket off, leaving her phone on the table "Why is that? All the newbies who get accepted here are so fucking happy it's annoying" she rolled her eyes.

"Well, my mother's husband knows everyone here, so I got in because of that, but I didn't want to come to this brainwashing place, no offense"

"None taken, but this is not so bad when you get used to it, and there's parties almost every day so"

She stood up and took a cigarette, walking to the window and opening it.

You raised your brow.

"I thought we were not allowed to have parties here"

"Well, you can if your last name is Lothbrok" she laughed.

"What?" You blinked, confused.

"The Lothbroks are the most important family here in Denmark, forget the royal family" she shrugged "Ragnar Lothbrok rules the country, and half of Scandinavia actually, and four of his five sons are in this school, they can do whatever they please, no one is gonna punish them" she turned around to look at you "Most of them are nice, I had a crush on the oldest one, Ubbe, but he has a girlfriend now, he's the nicest... Hvitserk is nice, too, but he's a player, don't trust him or accept any drink he gives to you, probably he just wants to fuck, Sigurd it's not that bad, but he can be a bit rude sometimes, he doesn't like people... And Ivar, well" she bit her lip "He's the worst, you'll recognize him because he carries crutches and because he's the hottest guy in the school, but he's... Well, stay away from him if you don't want trouble"

"So" you stood up and walked over to the window "Those guys can do whatever they want to?"

"Yes" Elise seemed used to it, but it looked a bit unfair for you.

"Even kill a person?"

She laughed.

"I'm almost sure they have already done that" she whispered, shaking her head "But don't worry, probably Ubbe and Hvitserk will welcome you and if you don't mess with them you're safe"

"I had no intention of doing that" you sat down on her bed, near the window "But... I am not the only new person here am I?"

Elise smiled.

"I'm afraid you are, love, I'm sorry but you'll be the center of attention for a few days".

You felt everyone's eyes on you. Elise was right, you were the centre of attention... And you didn't like it.

You only wanted to have lunch in peace, after an awful morning walking around the school and following your grumpy tutor, signing papers and pretending to be excited for being in such a exclusive academy. It was exhausting.

Elise had told you to sit with her and her friends, but you couldn't find them anywhere, and you really needed to sit down and eat.

Finally you spotted an empty table, and practically ran to it, too relieved... When you bumped into someone.

Of course, just when you thought you could relax for a bit, you ran over some boy and ruin everything.

Honestly, the boy almost didn't notice you bumping into him... On the other hand, you almost fell down.

He was tall, with his long, blonde hair tied back into a man bun. His playful eyes were green and he was so handsome you had to blink a few times before realizing you were staring.

"Sorry" you managed to say, blushing and hoping that he wouldn't be too harsh on you "I wasn't paying attention..."

"Oh, don't worry about that" he was definitely danish, and his voice matched his eyes' playfulness "Are you alright?"

You nodded, still embarrassed.

"Then it's totally fine, I'm Hvitserk, by the way" he smirked at you while looking at you up and down "You must be the new girl..."

You froze. He was Hvitserk Lothbrok, the one Elise warned you about a few hours before. Great, the day was getting better and better.

"Yeah, I'm Y/N" you tried not to sound impressed, looking at him straight in the eyes.

He chuckled, amused by your pretended boldness.

"Well, Y/N" he shrugged "You should come tonight to the party, so we all can give you a proper welcome... And watch where you're going".

He winked at you before turning around and leaving, and you stood there, confused.

Elise had spent half of the night talking about those boys, Hvitserk and his brothers, about how dangerous they were, and how no one dared to mess with them. But he seemed like a normal guy... A really hot, normal guy.

You sat down, and your eyes followed Hvitserk as he walked over to another table, not far away from yours.

Another guy, maybe a bit older than Hvitserk, with brown hair and blue eyes, was sat next to the table, with a blonde girl sitting on his lap, her uniform's skirt was too short, and the way his hand caressed the girl's thigh didn't actually help.

That must be Ubbe, you thought, remembering how Elise described him and his girlfriend, Margrethe.

Next to him, there was a blonde guy, with long and wavy hair, he had a guitar leaned against the backrest of his chair, so he could be Sigurd. Elise told you he was a musician, and he played several instruments. He was alone, looking at his phone with a bored expression on his face.

And then someone else caught your attention.

He entered the canteen as fast as his crutch allowed him. Everyone looked at him, some of the students with fear on their eyes, his deep blue eyes scanned the room, maybe looking for his brothers.

Soon, everyone stopped looking at him, maybe it was because Ubbe cleared his throat and made the rest of the students resume their eating and their conversations.

Well, everyone but you.

You couldn't stop looking at him, as if he was a freaking god. Although he was walking on one crutch, his movements were elegant. He had long hair tied back, like his brothers, but much darker, contrasting with his clear eyes.

He sat next to Hvitserk, who was nibbling an apple with an amused expression.

Ivar.

Unlike his brothers, everything about him screamed danger. Maybe it was the way he looked at everyone, as if he was a king looking down at his subjects, or maybe it was how he walked, without a hint of shame, making you forget he couldn't really walk without help.

You were too busy staring at Ivar that you didn't notice Hvitserk looking at you and smirking... Not until he leaned towards his brother and whispered something on his ear.

Then Ivar's blue eyes found yours, and you looked away quickly, with your cheeks burning. Your food, still untouched, was now cold and you didn't think you could take a bite in that moment.

You felt the Lothbrok's eyes on you, probably because you were staring at his little brother for like five minutes.

But, thank the gods, Elise came and saved you.

"Hello, new girl, how was your first day?" She smiled, sitting down in front of you and leaving her backpack on the table.

"Too long" you shrugged, still nervous "But Hvitserk Lothbrok invited me to a party tonight, so..."

Elise seemed impressed, and her wide eyes glanced at the Lothbrok's table with curiosity. They had stopped looking at you; Ubbe was now making out with his girlfriend, Sigurd still looking at his phone and Hvitserk and Ivar were talking to each other, not paying any attention to any of the students who looked at them warily.

"You already met them" she shrugged "Well, it's a good sign if Hvitserk was nice to you, just listen to me and don't get too involved with them, it's a bit dangerous... Now, tell me about your classes, are you taking Old Norse Mythology?"

Tags: @mblaqgi @alicedopey @lol-haha-joke @hallowed-heathen @ivarslittlebadgirl @naaladareia @tephi101 @captstefanbrandt @love-hate-love @titty-teetee @thisisparadisemylove @sallylebecks

I think I tagged everyone! If not, please tell me. I hope you liked it, and thank you for reading, I wanted to make this a series, maybe posting one chapter per week or something like that...

Also, I’m sorry if I don’t answer your comments! I read them all and appreciate them, I swear, but I’m a forgetful person and I probably forgot, sorry!

#ivar imagine #vikings imagine #ivar x reader #vikings #modern ivar #ivar fanfic #modern vikings #modern ragnarssons #valhalla #odin forgive me for this #also that gif #its the best gif ever

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iamnotbrianmay · 5 years ago

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(English is not my native language so umm sorry for any occurring mistakes? > <)

*shuffles awkwardly* Hi dear I come bearing writing prompts? *nervous laughter* I swear initially they were meant to be short descriptions BUT EVERYTHING GOT TOTALLY OUT OF HAND BY THE END. MY GOD THEY’RE SO DAMN LONG NOW. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO (you could take all of them, some of them, one of them or NONE OF THEM ok? Totally fine!) so please don’t feel pressured? :) And you’re welcome to put your own spin on the prompts, pass them onto other writers if they’re interested or to collab with someone else! :D

But seriously though you can also just treat them as littles “stories” from me (aka. your humble little anon fan) to you, intended for your amusement instead of writing requests alright? Sorry to bombard you so suddenly with all this LOL. BTW you’ll see mostly they’re Brian’s POV because that’s just how my brain is wired lol it’s been like that since day 1 I CAN’T HELP IT.

BTW the “His Majesty, KING!” series by chateauofmyheart (I think she’s most known for the Queen + Rare Words series and her Tumblr blog is chateauofmymind) is THE fic that completely changed my perspective on gender swap themes. After reading that I was fascinated by how good it can be in the hands of brilliant writers. Hence all you’re reading right now ahahahaha it’s like a floodgate been opened LOL.

Alright? Here we go with the first one - Modern day!AU, Poly!Fem!Queen(King) with supernatural elements? (I’m still gonna use male names and pronouns here to avoid confusion but at the same time it’s also because of I wanna see what female names you’d bestow upon them! Surprise me then? :D) Brian always has a connection with the “spiritual side” since he was a kid, sometimes he sees auras, energies, spirits and even on very rare occasions, deities. But it’s not as glamour as it sounds and he has learned the hard way to keep this solely to himself since no one will believe him. And to pretend to be “normal” is very important since not everything he sees is harmless, he has to find ways to avoid being haunted by evil beings, but it doesn’t always work; More often than not his health or mood is affected or he’s chased and stalked and has terrible nightmares hence the insomnia. By the time he got to college, though things still got really bad every once in a while but it felt like he has finally beginning to have situations under some semblance of control. Strangely, all these seemed to largely improved right after he became friends with Roger, Freddie and John, BUT inconveniently started pining after them real quick. His usual tactics were to keep his distance from the people around him but this time he’s drawn to them, feeling oddly alone when they’re not together; How sad is that? Falling in love for the first time in his life yet knowing there’s just no way it’s gonna end happily, but they don’t need to know that it’s fine he’s used to being the outcast. Although his first meetings with each of them does feel a little unusual? They sure are a weird bunch for example, who would own so many of candles? And why so many talismans as well? (Very beautiful though all seems to be handmade perhaps they’re just into DIY stuffs and craftsmanship?) Also the look they gave him? Gleam in their eyes akin to excitement and awe, almost predatory in a sense? Not to mention all those cryptic sentences and meaningful glances shared between the three. It sounds crazy but sometimes they gave off such strong “witchy” vibes as if they’re actual witches like the ones in the movies or something (NOT the Harry Potter kind but more like, The Craft? But in a good way?), that being said Brian does have this distinct feeling that they’re in on some kind of secret which he’s not a part of and it makes him feel a bit sad and left out, but he hides his feelings well(me: or so he thinks haha we’re all familiar with this trope yeah? MOVING ON LOL). These three are lovely together, but Brian’s afraid of screwing things up so he kept his mouth shut and just took whatever he can get. Plot twist LOL one night after a horrible near-death incident (caused by a horrendous curse aimed directly at him and much later on he learned that somehow it was powerful enough to break through the “protection ring” which Roger, Freddie and John had cast around him, WTH?!), he’s eventually saved by the other three and now he really wants some answers and perhaps the truth. It turns out that they’re all actual witches with different abilities and incredible powers including the oblivious Brian, Roger, Freddie and John had known this their entire life and all had proper training except for Brian who isn’t from a witchcraft family. Basically the other three have being protecting and guarding him ever since they’ve met (even though he doesn’t know a damn thing about his own gifts, they were very adamant that he belongs to them and their own “coven”). The four of them actually formed one of the most powerful witch coven ever and the curse was cast by another malicious one that’s jealous and afraid of how powerful they’re going to be once Brian realizes his own gifts, so they tried to get rid of him first. Cue a happy Poly!Fem!OT4 ending and a love confession + getting together yeah? :D And they all work on helping Brian to develop and harness his own powers. Love youuuu. (BTW I’m “obsessed” with Gothic aesthetics and vibes. This seems to be the perfect universe for this type of element to shine right? :D Literally everything ranging from character styles to witchcraft tools could be incorporate with it but I don’t think I did a good job in describing. Orz)

And off to the second prompt now! Shall we? :) Modern day!AU, Poly!Fem!Queen(King)? (Or no gender swap is fine too! Again I’m still using male names and pronouns here same reasons as above), It’s around 20:00 when Brian exited his plane. This past one month period of astronomy conference had been an opportunity of a life time and literally one of his biggest dreams. It’s a huge honor for him to be able to participate but after being away from his three lovers for so long, he does miss them terribly; The schedule of the conference is quite hectic and irregular with very little down time though the four of them do try to facetime or skype each other as often as they can, it still is nothing like being with each other in person, not to mention they’re all busy and more often than not had to resort to just texting in their group chat. His heart now flutters happily thinking about home and them. Just as when he’s about to call for a taxi someone’s hand came up around his waist – it’s John! And apparently John had arranged in advance for some people to come and take care of Brian’s luggage, Him however, remains firmly tucked by Brian’s side. Though they’re both not too keen on PDA Brian finds the urge to kiss him incredibly strong right now. John seems to be the same considering the heat in his eyes and if his smirk is anything to go by - “Wanna go for a ride? Our new car’s pretty neat.” “The one that Roger picked?” “Yeah.” “He agreed that you can drive it?” “Well he’s going to have to since the car keys’ being nicked.” “Oh my god John you stole Roger’s car keys?!” “It’s OUR car so technically it’s not stealing.” TBH John’s expression right now is kinda turning him on okay calm down deep breath they’re still in public god damn it. John proceed to guided Brian towards their ride and it is indeed a beautiful car. While John drove Brian asked Roger and Freddie’s whereabouts and got a mysterious smile and a vague “you’ll see” instead. It’s getting quite late and there’s not much traffic on the road so John might be speeding up a bit to enjoy the thrill. Normally Brian would fret over this but now he’s just happy, content and relaxed after coming home and reuniting with his lovers. He even let out an excited little shout and rolled down the window a bit to enjoy the night breeze when John sped up, which John beamed at him. “This isn’t our way home?” “We’re not going home yet.” “And are you gonna tell me where we’re heading?” “You’ll see.” Again with that cryptic-John-smile. They continue to drive up and deep into the mountains and eventually stoping at a lovely camping site with an elegant looking villa, John explained that they’ve booked this whole area exclusively for the next couple of days; They’ve missed him and all wanted to spend some alone time with each other. The weather is nice so it’s a clear starry night sky above and there’s a small bonfire crackling along with Roger and Freddie’s laughter, who are currently sitting beside it. Brian leaned over to John, planting a chaste kiss on his lips and whispered his thanks but apparently John had something else in mind. As soon as Brian began to pull back John shot out his hands and tugged on Brian’s hair just the way he knows how he likes it, that forced a surprised whimper out of Brian’s mouth and John took the opportunity to practically devour him with hungry kisses and tongue. Things heat up fast and Brian’s soft moans quickly became louder as John wasted no time opening up his shirt, caressing all over his chest and pinching his nipples. Brian let out a high-pitched yelp as John bit on his earlobe suddenly and at the same time dipped his hand into his underwear. Then Freddie showed up knocking disapprovingly on the car door window: “Tsk tsk starting without us already? That’s rude darling!.” Hearing this John let go of Brian’s lips, beamed at Freddie and opened the car door but didn’t retrieve his hand. Brian, now flushed and disheveled, looked up and gave Freddie a sheepish smile but abruptly let out another whimper as John started moving his fingers. He bit his lips in embarrassment, trying to contain his noise but quickly released them as John growled, demanding to hear his voice. Seeing this Freddie smirked and quickly bent down, grabbing Brian’s face and pulling him into another round of passionate and possessive kisses, full of teeth and tongue. “Oi! Stealing my car now John?! Wanker.” Roger appeared scowling but John just laughed and so does Freddie, letting go of Brian’s lips. Brian blinked a few times, willing his now distracted brain to focus on locating Roger and wordlessly held out his hands, beckoning him closer. Roger moved nearer and hummed his appreciation at the current sight on display, taking hold of both of Brian’s wrists with one hand, ran his other one over Brian’s exposed chest and suddenly pinched his nipple perfectly in time with John, who’s fingers just did something amazing inside Brian’s underwear. Brian moaned loudly and arched his back, feeling his orgasm approaching embarrassingly fast but soon let out a confused whimper when he felt John retrieving his touches. Roger laughed, nuzzled behind his ears and growled, “Only if you beg prettily enough.” Then he tugged him up and gestured towards the villa. “Let’s go and make good use of that giant bed.” Freddie nodded, agreeing with Roger, eyes drinking in the sight in front of him and licked his lips. “I’ll put out the bonfire then. Don’t start anything fun without me!” He kissed Brian once more, heatedly and full of promises of more to come, bit his lips playfully and quickly head towards the fire. “I was gonna make him come once before we go inside but your idea is quite tempting.” John smirked at Roger. “Will you do as Roger says love? Beg prettily for us? Should we allow you to come at all?” “Pleasepleaseplease.” Brian could only whimper, already feeling the familiar heavenly float that could only come from being cared for by his lovers. “Good boy. We’re gonna take such good care of you now, you can let go.” Roger began running his hand through Brian’s hair alongside with John, waiting for Freddie to return. Cue a steamy, sexy and loving Poly!Fem!(or not fem)OT4 night yeah? And there may or may not be a huge jacuzzi in the villa that they all made good use of. <3333

Okay now prompt number 3 is the standard type that one usually gets in their askbox if a writer is open for requests - Your take on in the Poly!Queen universe how would Freddie persuaded/convinced/forced?(XD) Brian to play harp for Love of My Life (and why Brian specifically? Besides all the rational reasons for him to be that person, you might be able to come up with something that’s outside the box? :D) and how the whole “Brian eventually constructed the song from piano onto acoustic guitar for live performances” business came about? Do you ever wonder why it’s not Freddie on the piano playing and singing like what he’s done with other songs? Or why not Brian on the piano while Freddie sings like the beginning of their live performances for Save Me? (AGAIN besides all the rational reasons behind it I’m still interested in your take. :P Have you read that Brian’s interview in which he says he thinks Freddie sees him as his own personal Jimi Hendrix and basically said that they’re gonna do this together? And those early year interviews regarding their album A Night at the Opera in which Freddie said he’s gonna make Brian play the harp until his hands drop off LOL and how Freddie describe the harp as the big thingy that angels play? Yeah Freddie we know that Brian’s your angel and SOUL BROTHER ahhhh I’m making myself emotional now QQ)

Ready for prompt number 4? Last one for now haha I think my brain is drying up lol. It just shows how amazing writers are! I salute you! You are wonderful. <333 Poly!Queen? Hot Space!Era (AUish)?, starting with them having a really rough time in the studio and it had been going on for quite a while (Prenter’s presence and words definitely didn’t help. It only gets worse and for some reason Brian has this feeling that he’s been singled out as target) and a particularly nasty fight broke out one day and even more unfortunate is that the fight got personal. And of course it has something to do with the infamous diss track: Back Chat (the fandom seems to think this song is aimed at Brian? though we will never know the truth ummm), Brian left the studio in the end (bitterly he denies the voices in his head calling him a coward for running away. He just wanted some fresh air, and maybe some alcohol in a bar that his bandmates do not frequent so he wouldn’t be found). Somehow, a band that’s also on the rise of fame managed to track him down while he was trying to numb himself quickly by getting plastered. They then offered a pretty sweet deal of him leaving Queen (“Since they don’t seem to love you anymore.” One of them murmured softly to him and hearing this is like been stabbed through the heart.) and joining them instead, not just as the song writer and lead guitarist but also as the lead vocalist of the band, basically saying that he could have everything; Strangely, it turns out that they actually had some “inside information” regarding of what’s been going on in Queen and had been following for a while, all of them keen on taking Brian’s side. Through the drunken fog in his brain his heart sank. Queen has already established the reputation of being a tight unit especially after their success, generally people respect their close bond with each other so there hasn’t been any “headhunting” propositions for a VERY long time; The fact of it appearing again now out of all times only brought out senses of dread, thoughts immediately heading to a dark place in which all the worst-case scenarios resides: is this actually his bandmates asking him to leave through a third party? Are they so fed up with him that they couldn’t even stand to break the news in person? Is this them breaking up with him? He’s suddenly so cold and dizzy that he started swaying unsteadily, the band then quickly offered to bring him back to their own brand-new recording studio for a tour and maybe some rest. Feeling drunk and resigned Brian just watched silently with half lidded eyes as they maneuvered him out of his seat. As they were about to usher him out of the bar suddenly all motion stopped as the band abruptly came face to face with Roger (eyes narrowed and fists balled, obviously fuming), Freddie (seemingly nonchalant with raised eyebrow but his coiled muscles as if ready for a fight totally says otherwise) and John (his face somehow even more unreadable than usual, eyes glinting ominously). Sensing the atmosphere shift, those who were around Brian all collectively took a step back and for some unknown reason, a few guilty looks appeared on some of their faces. Brian started swaying again without the support and Freddie quickly appeared besides Brian, wrapping tightly around him and helped carrying his weight. However, still feeling angry and devasted Brian tried to wriggle out of his embrace but found himself drunk and too slow and did not have the strength at to pry open Freddie’s “iron grip” at all (yeah how could he forget that Freddie is in fact a damn good athlete and a boxer, John also joined him in the gym these days these two often had great fun together). Sensing Brian’s struggle Freddie only wordlessly tightens his hold; Brian eventually gave up trying to get free after a few attempts instead just bit his lips (nervous habit kicking in now) and looked away, unwilling to face his three bandmates and lovers. “Where the hell do you think you’re taking OUR guitarist to?” Roger snarled, also coming up besides Freddie to help supporting Brian. After a quick check up on him, he frowned when he found that Brian’s skin is cold and clammy. “It’s great that you guys want to look out for OUR Brimi, but we’ll take it from here now.” There’s a storm brewing behind Freddie’s eyes, dismissal clear in his voice. Yet in the same time he’s very mindful of the drunk Brian now stiffly resides in his and Roger’s arms, careful to not cause him anymore physical discomfort. “It seems that a certain rat has been feeding you all kinds of information on us? Things that he’s not supposed to pry and definitely not supposed to blab about?” With a dark edge to his voice, John stepped forward, staring down at the few guilty faces in front of him, smiling cold and sharp. “Well he’s not around anymore, make of that what you will.” Slowly Brian blinked up at John through his drunken haze in surprise, it has to be Prenter that they’re talking about, right? But how— “Let’s get back to the hotel, Bri’s not feeling so well.” Roger grunted, tugging the other three out of the bar impatiently, his hold on Brian is steadfast and unwavering. “Come on guys, get in the car.” “Please come back with us Brimi? We know that you’re still hurting but I promise you, we’re gonna get through this together, alright?” Well now that’s just unfair, Freddie’s bringing out his nickname now in that soft tone AND looking at him like he’s something precious, really not fair at all. Brian could only nod, not trusting his voice yet but Freddie beamed brightly at him. “I’m sorry, baby. We’ll all have a long talk and fill you in on the details of Prenter after you get some rest okay?.” Now that’s just cheating. They’re in the car now and John’s petting his hair oh so gently, expertly lulling him to sleep. Cue the OT4!boys have a long hard talk about EVERYTHING and their relationship that involves lots of shouting, bitching, bickering, crying, apologizing and making up! HAPPY ENDINGS HELL YEAH and the other three explained how the whole Prenter thing came to light and with evidence, they fired him immediately. Also John may or may not have “convinced” (“I’d say threatened is more like it.” Roger snickered.) the other band’s manager to give up the location of the bar that they had sooo enthusiastically called him from, exclaiming Brian May’s about to quit Queen and join them and that they were trying to bring him back to the studio now.

I hope these brightened your day? Maybe if I’m lucky enough they could inspire you a bit? Perhaps they could be accepted as your writing prompts? :P Anyway I love you! Have a beautiful day and life hon. <333

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Gosh thank you so much for submitting this anon! I really like them and I feel like we could add a lot to them if you wanted to speak to me about your ideas, so shoot me a private dm, yeah?

Also, you have a surprise coming for you in the next few days so stay vigilant of that!

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