ach1ll3sh33l

[ach1ll3sh33l]

sleepy...

[ach1ll3sh33l]

i feel like Tim's the kind of person to say random cryptic bullshit just to fuck with people psychologically. especially post-timestream, with his new Red Robin reputation.

Tim, sitting silently at the Batcomputer, working a case:

Dick, fifteen feet away training:

Tim, suddenly slowly turns to look at Dick: "They know." *walks out of the Cave*

Dick, terrified and trying to follow him: "Tim? What? Tim, what do you- Tim, Timmy, what do you mEAN-"

Jason and Tim on patrol:

Tim: "Do you see them, too?"

Jason: "Who?"

Tim: "Them, of course. They see all, but few see them." *points behind Jason, then slips into the shadows when he looks away*

Jason, seeing nothing, turning to find himself alone: "Tim, what the fuck-"

Batfam at movie night:

Tim halfway through: "They're watching." *again, leaves (for more popcorn, but the others don't know that)*

Everyone, thoroughly disturbed: "Tim, what the fuck does that mean get back here TIM EXPLAIN-"

[ach1ll3sh33l]

and while i’m on a self indulgent thing? i think that any of the kids calling Bruce “dad” changes his whole demeanor. it helps him know that whatever they’re talking about is serious.

hearing his name shouted across the house does nothing for him. a hundred people say his name all day, including his kids. whatever the situation is can be fixed.

but hearing “Dad!”, cried out in battle or screamed from the other room, has him rushing to their side. what is it love and i’m here you’re alright and shh i’ve got you

“Bruce, I need help” = can’t open this large jar, have a question about math homework, need someone to look at this case file for me

“Dad, I need help” = I am hurt. I am scared. I am in danger. I need you to make things better. I need you to protect me.

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Tim: Oh, Damian's tried to kill me lots of times.

Tim: There was one time when we were younger, he disguised himself as a case file, because he knows I love case files.

Tim: So I went to pick it up to work on it and he took off the disguise and went 'MBLEGH it's me!' and stabbed me.

Damian: *smiles fondly at the memory*

Dick: Damian, no stabbing your brothers.

Jason: There's a more important issue here. How the fuck was he disguised as a case file -

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Here are my favorite ladies!!! This is a continuation of the other batboys dressed for a gala inspired by @fallen-jpg

Part 1

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Some Wayne gala fits for the boys! I saw something similar by @fallen-jpg and wanted to do some of my own lol

Ps… I’m not good with backgrounds lol and I made Damian much older cause I didn’t want to draw a kid …

Part 2 !!!

[ach1ll3sh33l]

don't destroy his self-esteem 🐦😆

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Dorcas: Hey Potter! Wait up!! James: Oh hi Meadowes! What are you— Dorcas: *pins James against the wall with her forearm on his throat* What the fuck are your intentions, Potter? James: Wha—intentions—what? Dorcas: *pressing further* You know what I mean. James: N-no I don’t! I don’t!! Dorcas: I mean Regulus. James: Regulus? What about him— Dorcas: Don’t try and play smart, Potter. Spill. What are you trying to do with him? James: N-nothing I-I promise I— Dorcas: TELL ME THE TRUTH!! James: I LOVE HIM OKAY?!! Dorcas:  Dorcas: Well, alright that’s all I needed bye.

[ach1ll3sh33l]

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Regulus surviving the cave and showing up to Dorcas' door bloodied and barely alive, he shoves the locket into her hands and says the word horcrux before slowly losing his grip on the doorframe and passing out. He never wakes up but she has the secret now.

And it's the last piece of the puzzle that she needs in order to defeat Voldemort for good, because she'd been wondering how she kept getting so close and then failing. She destroys it, finds the rest, and wins the war herself.

[ach1ll3sh33l]

I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.

[ach1ll3sh33l]

I'm sorry, we as a society do not talk about the fact that in order to maintain his playboy billionaire status Bruce Wayne had to sleep with a lot of people,, a lot, of people in order to maintain that.

And I'm not shaming him for that, get your hot girl summer brucie hell yea, but what I will say is can you imagine,,,

How hilarious it would be that when eventually Batman's identity gets revealed- it's not the reaction he was expecting.

‘‘Oh my god. Oh my god, Bruce Wayne Bruce Wayne the the bimbo Sexy billionaire boy. He is the stoic hard-ass Batman. There's no way-”that's not the reaction. The reaction is

“holy fucking shit I've slept with Batman”

Three quarters of that city and beyond is sat in front of their TVs, their radios, their phones,, I don't care. They're sitting there, agape going ‘I have slept with the Dark Knight. I have seen Gotham's Bat naked on his knees-‘

bruce wouldn’t be able to look the justice league nor his kids in the eyes for weeks after the reveal, solely due to the gossip channels or smth

[ach1ll3sh33l]

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Bruce is so important to me

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Jason and Damian meet in the LoA AU where Damian vehemently insists that Jason is his only real brother since they have the same mother and father. The others try to tell him that Jason is also adopted, but Damian will just stare at them like they are stupid and go "is Father not his Father in the eyes of the law?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Does Mother not call him as her son?"

"I mean she does-"

"Are they not my Mother and Father as well?"

"Yes?"

"The matter has been concluded, then, Richard."

"What about me? Bruce is also my dad on paper?"

"You get half of the acknownledgement, of course, as you have been getting so far."

"What about Tim, then?"

"I don't see how he is relevant to this conversation."

"I'm just curious where he lands on the brother percentage scale."

"Nowhere. Timothy is a neighbour. Though I shall offer him hospitality while he is under our roof."

"You tripped him on the patrol last night."

"Does the alleyway look like our house to you?"

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Tim: what's the meanest thing you've ever done?

Jason: i know you expect me to say trying to beat you to death that one time, but in the league i once told Damian that Talia was lying about his heritage to manipulate Batman and his actual father was Lex Luthor. so that.

Tim: ?!

Jason: yeah i faked a DNA test to prove it and he believed me for like 4 months.

Tim: holy shit

Jason: to be honest the meanest part was probably putting hair removal cream in his shampoo and convincing him he was going bald due to genetics. he was nine.

Tim: you are my hero. hear me say these words. I. Love. You.

Jason: i know buddy. i know.

[ach1ll3sh33l]

Pov: You're a Gotham criminal in December