peaceisadirtyword

[peaceisadirtyword]

Pull the Trigger IX (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello! A bit late, sorry! I just got home🥲 I’ll try to post the next chapter as soon as I can🫶🏼

Warnings: mild smut👀 mentions of past abuse, mentions of alcohol, anxiety... 

Words: 4412

Read on AO3

Fic masterlist 

Alfred had cancelled on you. Apparently, he had missed an important date with Elsewith and he had gotten a last minute reservation on a very expensive place to apologise. You understood, but couldn’t help but sigh in disappointment when you saw his text. Thora was out with Hvitserk again. Since they had formalised their relationship it was almost like they spent even more time together than before. She had insisted on staying with you, but you practically forced her to go, feeling too guilty for having ruined her big night some days ago.

Almost a week had passed, and you had hoped you could talk to Alfred about what Ivar had said to you. You hadn’t had the chance to do it earlier, as the last time you saw him you had spent hours crying because of Erik. You had never seen Alfred so angry at someone, and while it was comforting, you still were overthinking Ivar’s words.

But then again, he didn’t contact you anymore. He wasn’t in class that week, and he was nowhere to be found on campus. You had his number and could have easily texted him, but then again you didn’t know what to say.

Because you weren’t sure of what he had said.

He was at Valhalla. You knew it because Ingrid had texted you, telling you she had seen him inside when she had entered, and you had tried to convince yourself you didn’t care, but a part of you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You had gone through Ubbe’s posts on social media until you found him at the background of one of his videos. Sigurd had also posted things but as the brothers couldn’t stand each other you didn’t bother to look for Ivar in his videos. Thora had told you they’d head to Valhalla around midnight, so you kept glancing at the clock, knowing that Hvitserk was the one that would post the pictures of Ivar, given they were the closest ones. 

You just wanted to see him, to see he was okay, because even if you had tried your best not to acknowledge it, you missed him. You would be forever mad for not remembering most part of that night, when you had slept in his bed and he had taken care of you. The simple thought made you feel something strange that was both worrying and comforting at the same time.

Taking a deep breath, you got up from the couch and entered the bathroom for a quick shower. The horrible movie you were watching was forgotten as you entered your room, immediately opening your wardrobe to try and find something to wear. After almost crying a few times, you decided on a black velvet dress. It was short and had cleavage, not quite what you’d usually wear for a night out, but Valhalla wasn’t a normal club and it was very far from your usual trusted bar, so you put on some thighs and your favourite tall boots that Thora had gifted you last Christmas because of how many times you’d ask her for hers. 

After frowning at your own reflection for a good ten minutes before moving back to the bathroom to wash your face and put some makeup on. Half an hour later you were ready, picking up your phone, wallet and keys and quickly turned off the TV and the lights, leaving your flat before you could change your mind.

Calling an Uber was way more than your bank account could afford, so you took the bus and walked towards the club, hoping Ivar would still be there when you managed to get in. It was cold, and the slow queue didn’t help. You checked your phone a few times until you realised the battery was very low. Thora had messaged you, asking if everything was okay, you replied quickly, telling her you were fine and debating whether you should tell her you were at the club or not.

But just when you were going to do so, the doorman called you. The rest of the queue looked at you up and down, some of them with annoyance and even hatred, but you didn’t say a word as the doorman lifted the rope, letting you in.

Flashbacks of the first time you stepped into that club made you take a deep breath as you left your coat on the wardrobe next to the door and thanked the girl that took it with a tense smile. You didn't even know what you were doing there, you didn’t know what you would say to Ivar if you could talk to him. You made your way to the VIP zone, your heart racing when you saw Whitehair. Wherever he was, Ivar was never too far away.

Your eyes finally found him. He was standing, leaning on his crutch and with a drink on his other hand. But you stopped walking towards him when you saw who he was talking to.

It was a woman, a tall, beautiful woman with brown hair. You could only see her back, but your mouth dried when you saw her curves, hugged by a beautiful red dress. You were sure she was stunning, and Ivar was so close to her, talking to her…

You felt like throwing up, suddenly you were the idiot that had come all the way to Valhalla to talk to him after not hearing from him in days. Thinking he liked you.

Looking around, feeling the tears fill your eyes, you took a deep breath. Should you get a drink or just go home?.

When you looked back towards Ivar, you found his eyes. He looked surprised to see you there, and you could see his lips saying your name, but you turned around and left for the toilets, unable to face him at that moment. Then you heard him calling you a bit louder, but you were already entering the women’s toilet and ignored him. Great, now he knew you were there. That was even more humiliating.

There were two girls inside the bathroom, talking cheerfully as they retouched their makeup, who looked at you as soon as you barged in, clearing your throat. They looked at you up and down, frowning, but you didn’t even look at them, running your hand through your hair and taking another deep breath.

Your relief didn’t last, as someone else entered the bathroom and startled the girls.

“You” Ivar pointed at them “Out”

They didn’t say a word. Instead, they grabbed their things and left quickly, barely glancing at you as they closed the door behind them.

“This is the girls’ bathroom” you said, looking anywhere but at him.

“I don’t care, toilets don’t have a gender” he replied, annoyed.

“Someone could enter…”

“Whitehair is outside” he interrupted you, shrugging “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t even know” you muttered, turning back to the mirror to try and fix your makeup “I guess I wanted to talk to you”

“Did anything happen?�� he frowned in confusion “Did Erik…?”

“No, don’t say his name” you sighed “No, not everything is about him, I just wanted to talk to you because you said things the last time I saw you that I… Have been thinking about it, but I don’t know what to think and it’s killing me, but then I come here and I see you with someone else and I realise I’m an idiot and you probably didn’t mean what I thought you meant and now I really want to be alone…”

“Wait, wait, slow down” he frowned, interrupting you “Someone else?”

“Yes, the girl you were talking to, I just… I misunderstood what you told me the other day, it’s my fault, now if you excuse me…”

“Wait, let me talk” he grabbed your arm as soon as you tried to walk towards the door “That girl you saw me talk to is my sister”

You felt as if someone just threw a bucket with ice and water all over you.

“Your… Sister?”

“Yes, well, my half sister, Gyda” he shrugged “She’s my dad’s daughter but her mother is Lagertha, she’s Björn’s sister, she lives in Hedeby with her mother but she came to Kattegat to visit us”

“I…” you groaned again, closing your eyes. If you thought nothing could be more humiliating than thinking Ivar was with someone else when you came to see him, you were wrong “Sorry, I… Never saw your sister before”

“Were you jealous?”

Flustered, you looked away again. Ivar had a smirk on his lips and his cocky expression only made you want to hit him really hard.

“No” you scoffed “I’m just… I didn’t want to interrupt you”

“Well, you did interrupt me with your dramatic escape and making me chase you” he chuckled “I’m not complaining, though”

Rolling your eyes, you finally looked at him, realising you couldn’t escape now and had to tell him exactly what you had come to tell him.

“The other day…” you sighed “You said you cared about me”

He hummed, nodding his head and almost pouting. His eyes were widened and you had to force yourself to stop looking into them.

“I’m not sure I understand what you meant by that”

Ivar sighed, rubbing his face with his free hand.

“You are dense sometimes, did you know that?”

You gasped, offended.

“And you are rude” you replied, scoffing.

“I was going to kiss you” he ignored you “And you still don't understand what I meant?”

You were left speechless. It was true that you had thought about it, but there was a part of you that insisted that it couldn’t be true. That you weren’t the kind of girl Ivar Lothbrok would like.

“I didn’t know if I had imagined it or not, I just…”

“Can I kiss you?” he interrupted you again, and you blinked a couple of times “Now, so you stop talking”

“Okay, you are very rude, and if this is your way of flirting let me tell you it won’t…”

You didn’t get to finish that sentence, because Ivar leant in to press his lips against yours. You gasped in surprise, but closed your eyes as soon as he deepened the kiss, his free hand landed on your waist, and you let yourself relax between his body and the sink behind you. His lips were warm, and tasted a bit like alcohol and cigarettes, but they were sweet and softer than you had imagined. Because you had imagined it. Even though no one of your daydreams was nearly as good as the actual kiss. You almost felt like you had never been kissed before, and his scent felt almost intoxicating when you breathed into it.

Ivar hummed against your lips, making you sigh at the sound. You weren’t sure of when exactly you started to like Ivar that much but you felt unable to kiss anyone else after that kiss, especially when he broke it, moving away just a few centimetres just to chuckle and give you a small peck before you could even open your eyes.

His blue eyes were the first thing you saw when you finally opened yours, and you could feel the heat underneath your skin and hear your accelerated heartbeat. You wondered, embarrassed, if he could also notice.

“Sorry, I just have wanted to do that for a long time” he said, tilting his head with his smirk back on his lips. You cleared your throat.

“That was also very rude of you”

“It was also very rude of you to interrupt my conversation with my sister” he shrugged “We’re even”

“I didn’t interrupt it, I…”

“You did, by running away after getting my attention, jealous” he leant in again to whisper against your ear. You didn’t know if he put that with many other girls, but it was definitely working because you almost moaned “And wearing this”

His free hand, which he had leant on the sink to support his weight, tugged at your dress, making you look down.

“I had to wear it because otherwise I wouldn’t have entered your elitist, corrupted club”

He laughed then, shaking his head.

“The doorman knows who you are, you would get in even if you were wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants”

“Well, I decided not to risk it” you shrugged, trying not to overthink his words -because if you did you would probably start hyperventilating.

Ivar smiled again. Obviously he had drunk, being way more relaxed than you had ever seen him. Was that the real Ivar?

“I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me” you bit your lip “I thought you hated me”

“I beat up a guy that drugged you, Y/N”

“Yes, but that’s just your mob boss complex”

“I’m going to ignore that”

“But you called me a bitch” you crossed your arms, forcing him to move slightly backwards “And you said my life was worthless”

Ivar sighed, nodding and closing his eyes.

“You really got on my last nerve, but you’re lucky, others ended up dead for less”

You rolled your eyes, an amused smile on your lips.

“Stop doing that, I don’t believe you, you act like you’re all dangerous, cruel and heartless but there you were taking care of me when I couldn’t even walk, you’re just a normal guy”

Ivar shrugged, but he didn’t look bothered by your comment. In some way, you could see why so many people were afraid of him, he could be intimidating. But he had just asked for permission to kiss you and then had interrupted you with a kiss… He couldn’t be that bad.

“That’s the point” he licked his lips, shrugging again “I’m not meant to be dangerous to you”

“I’m serious”

“About what?”

“You act like that but then you come to my house to bring me my clothes and see if I’m okay, and then you start yelling and almost kiss me but then don’t talk to me for days…”

“Isn’t it obvious, Y/N?”

You knew it was obvious, but at the same time it was too obvious to be real. Everything seemed more of a fantasy you had built inside your head in which Ivar Lothbrok liked you even before you talked to each other for the first time. And for some reason that thought didn’t bother you, quite the contrary, it made you fluster and smile like an idiot.

“No, I want you to say it” you took a deep breath “Loud and clear, no indirects”

Ivar looked taken aback, almost like no one had ever asked him to talk about his feelings before. Looking around, he stepped back, suddenly nervous. He felt his mouth drying and a strange feeling in his stomach. He was nervous. Him, who had killed people in cold blood, who dealt with terrifying people that doubled his age and experience, who had had guns pointed at him and his brothers and that was used to deal with people that wanted him dead was a nervous wreck in front of a girl that asked him to talk about his feelings for her.

Well, it wasn’t just a girl, it was you.

Ivar still remembered the first time he had seen you. Sitting next to Alfred, you were frowning down at your notes and comparing them with his while he laughed. Then he had seen you many times around campus, you were all the time with Thora or Alfred, but whenever you were alone he never dared to approach you. Until one day Hvitserk saw him looking at you, and Ivar had made him look at your friend. She’s cute, Hvitserk had said, but his smirk had told him he had liked her.

And then he only had to wait. Ivar hoped you’d never heard about the fifty kroner he gave to that girl that sat next to him to go up and seat next to Alfred. Just to have you close, as he knew it was the only time you’d be close to him.

He was glad to see he had been wrong for the first time in his life.

“I…” he cleared his throat, his heart was beating so hard against his chest that he was afraid of you hearing it, and also of having a heart attack “I care for you”

You raised your eyebrow.

“Is that all I’m getting? After you barging into my house to yell how you tricked your brother into dating my best friend because you couldn’t talk to me”

Ivar couldn’t believe you had memorised his exact words.

“I didn’t barge, you invited me in”

“That’s not the point”

Ivar took a deep breath, and when his blue eyes looked right into yours again you almost groaned out loud.

“I like you, Y/N” he said. It was the first time you saw him being somewhat vulnerable. His cheeks were reddened, he kept biting his lower lip softly, looking everywhere but at you, his head down. Almost like a teenager waiting for a scolding.

You couldn’t help your lips curving softly with a smile. You also felt flustered. Hell, your heart was beating so fast you could barely hear anything over it. Ivar gulped, suddenly watching you carefully. Please, don’t laugh, don’t make fun of me.

He didn’t like to feel vulnerable or open, he didn’t want anyone knowing he liked you, not even you, because it was the only effective weapon that could really hurt him.

“So you’re not heartless after all”

It was a mere whisper, but he heard you perfectly fine, even if he didn’t reply. What was he supposed to say? That you couldn’t tell anyone? That it was fine if you didn’t feel the same?. He skipped all of that during his teenage years and had no idea of how he was supposed to react.

But he didn’t need to. Suddenly you approached him, making him freeze and grab his crutch tighter than ever. He’d swear he heard it crack, but he didn’t really care because you grabbed his neck and pulled him down as you got on your tiptoes, kissing him.

It was almost like your warm lips melted him. Literally. Ivar couldn’t recall a moment in which he had felt so hot. He leant against the closest wall he had, letting the crutch fall to the floor just to touch you with both hands. You glanced at the thrown crutch quickly, but his lips against your jaw and travelling down your neck distracted you. He was intoxicating, warm, his scent made you dizzy and the way he was kissing you… His lips captured your upper lip, and he kissed you with urgency, passion and need, almost like he’d die if he stopped.

You weren’t complaining, though. His hands had found their way to your ass, but they kept touching you everywhere, leaving a warm, tickly path behind. You jumped and gasped when his fingers brushed against the bare skin of your legs, and Ivar seemed to find that amusing. His hand was warm when he finally touched your thigh, and you felt a familiar wave travel down your lower belly and sex. You only broke the kiss to catch air for a couple of seconds before kissing him again. This time your hands travelled down his neck and shoulders, letting yourself touch his chest, hard and muscular from carrying his own weight for his whole life. Just when your hand reached his belt and his was already under your dress getting closer and closer, someone knocked on the door, startling you.

Then you realised you were about to have sex with Ivar Lothbrok in a public bathroom. Your last week self would have been very scandalised.

Stepping away, you turned to look at yourself in the mirror. Your lips were reddened and swollen and you were thankful for not having worn lipstick. Your eyes were teary and your makeup was a bit ruined, but you only smudged it a bit with your fingers and hoped everyone would be too drunk and it would be too dark to notice.

Ivar reached for his crutch, raising his voice to let Whitehair know he was fine. You wondered whether you should help and reach his crutch for him, but he managed just fine, knowing exactly which movements he needed to do. When he was standing again, he looked at you. His expression was softer. You couldn’t remember the expression he had when he had taken care of you, but you liked to think it was the same one.

“Ubbe is probably freaking out because I left” he shrugged “Do you want a drink?”

“I… Think I should go home” you cleared your throat “It’s late”

Ivar raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll take you home later”

You didn’t even try to argue, because you knew you’d stay. For some reason, you wanted to spend a bit more time with that new Ivar you were discovering. The one that didn’t act like a pretentious asshole.

His soft expression disappeared as soon as he opened the door. Whitehair looked at him and then at you, frowning and clenching his jaw. You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at him, making Ivar clear his throat and grab your arm quickly. The people queuing at the door didn’t say anything, but looked at you up and down and you instantly knew all of Kattegat would know you had been locked in a toilet with Ivar Lothbrok by morning.

You did smirk at Whitehair when you finally stepped in the VIP zone as he stayed at the entrance with a frown in his already harsh face. You could feel some people staring and just when you were thinking about texting both Thora and Ingrid to let them know you were there, someone practically tackled you, making you yelp and almost fall to the floor. Thora squealed in excitement and you could tell she had already had a few drinks when she looked at you, her cheeks reddened and a stupidly wide smile on her lips.

“You’re here!” she jumped next to you. Ivar glared at her, rolling his eyes, but Hvitserk asked him something and his attention diverted soon enough “Where were you? Ubbe told us you were here but that you disappeared suddenly… I was worried! Do you want a drink? Ingrid is here too!”

“Wow” you chuckled, grabbing her shoulders to keep her in place “Sorry, I had to go to the toilet… I found him on my way back and he told me you were here”

“Him being Ivar” she giggled, almost like it was a joke you didn’t get “Okay, a drink?”

You nodded, if you had to deal with the entire Lothbrok clan and drunk Thora you might as well get even.

You didn’t get a second to breathe, as soon as Thora left to grab you a drink, someone else approached.

She was even more stunning up close. Gyda had a beautiful, long hair that seemed to be brown but was darkened by the lowlights of the club. She wore a beautiful and probably very expensive red dress that you’d swear you had seen on some runway on YouTube. When the lights illuminated her face you could distinguish greenish eyes, more similar to Hvitserk than to Ivar’s, but you couldn’t tell the exact colour.

She shot you a big smile. She was older, older than you and Ivar, maybe in her thirties already, but she could have been twenty-five and you wouldn’t have been surprised. You only realised you were staring with your mouth agape until she spoke.

“Hello, you must be Y/N” she grabbed your hand enthusiastically “I’m Gyda, I’m Ivar’s sister… Half-sister” she chuckled “It’s great to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you these days! Mostly from the boys teasing Ivar, but they were only good things, don’t worry”

You wondered what good things the Lothbrok brothers had to say about you, but decided to ignore it and smiled back at her shyly.

“Hi” you nodded “Yes, I’m Y/N, it’s great to meet you too”

“Wow, you’re really pretty” she looked almost excited, her eyes scanning you up and down, then she giggled “Ivar already said it, but I don’t trust his taste very often so I’m surprised, but you’re beautiful, I love your dress!”

“Why, thank you” you chuckled nervously, feeling mortified as her smile widened even more.

“Hvitserk told me you’re giving my littlest brother a hard time… Whatever you’re doing, he probably deserves it so you have my full support!”

“Okay, Gyda, that’s enough, thank you so much” an annoyed Ivar appeared beside you, glaring at his sister. She winked at you, amused, before turning around and leaving. You turned to Ivar with a frown.

“What are you telling your family about me?” you narrowed your eyes, Ivar rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Only your terrible taste in men and your inability to pay attention in class”

You scoffed, but your lips curved in a smile.

“Someone is calling you” he pointed at the bar, where Thora tried to grab your attention to point at the drink on her hand. Hvitserk looked more in love than ever next to her.

“I better go before she drinks it” you grimaced.

“Okay”

A moment of silence. Ivar looked at you with his soft expression that had disappeared as soon as you had left the toilet, but before you could act on your instincts and kiss him again, he turned around, going back to the couch where Ubbe was sitting talking to some people you didn’t know.

“Ivar” you reached to grab his hand before he could get too far, and the both of you froze almost instantly, realising what you had done. When he turned to look at you he had a surprised look on his face, which you were sure mirrored your own “Um… Thank you”

You didn’t specify why but he already knew. He nodded slowly as you let his hand go, hurrying to the bar where Thora waited for you. Ivar let himself fall on the couch next to his brother, looking around to make sure no one had seen that. Then he looked down, hoping the darkness would hide the stupid smile he had on his face.

Because it had been the first time you had called him by his name.

___________________________________

Tags:  @istorkyou  @barnes-lothbrok  @naaladareia  @youbloodymadgenius @southernbe  @yummycastiel @nothingtolosebutweight @noway4u @cdauni @heavenly1927 @ivarhoegh @biancathecool @helleiaiwritting @marvelsangels @ironynoticony @kenyadakblalock @mymindfuckery @alexa4040​ @tessakate @ivarlover​ @vannabanana1995​ @darksoulgemx @mynameisiliana​

I hope I didn’t forget anyone💔 thank you so much for reading🫶🏼

Ps. I will try and reply to all the comments this time!

[peaceisadirtyword]

Hey, you said you would do a hiatus when pull the trigger reached chapter X, did you decide to do it earlier? Hope everything is okay 🥰 Missing you and Ivar a lot 😘

Hello love!❤️ I made a post explaining why I disappeared🥺 I still intend to take the hiatus to finish the second part of the fic because this month I haven't done anything😭 but I'll tell you guys when I do it!

For now, tomorrow you guys have a new chapter!🫶🏼

I missed you two too!💖

[peaceisadirtyword]

please give a sign that you're alive🙏

I am!♥️ I'm sorry love😭

[peaceisadirtyword]

are you okay? I waited for pull the trigger new part but I realized It's been a long time since you shared anything. I just worrying about you now. I hope you are fine🙏🙏🙏

hello my love!😭🫶🏼 I'm so sorry! Just made a post explaining it! Thank you so much for asking and sorry I made you worry🥺 I'm fine! no worries honey♥️ new chapter tomorrow!

[peaceisadirtyword]

I’m alive!

HELLO MY LOVES omg I’m so sorry I feel like the worst person ever. I had a post ready almost a month ago, explaining why this month I might disappear. You can’t even imagine my face when a few days ago I logged in just to see that same post sitting on my drafts because I could SWEAR I had posted it. 

Anyway, I’m stupid and I didn’t 😭

The first week of March, my boyfriend came to see me. I hadn’t seen him since last August, and I missed him terribly. He’s Danish and lives in Copenhagen, I live in Spain and we hadn’t been able to see each other because ✨distance✨ and money/medical issues. He stayed for a couple of weeks and I wanted to spend every possible minute with him because I won't see him again for another 6/7 months. I guess all of you that have had long distance relationships (or relationships in general) will understand this🥺. 

He left a week and a half ago and I miss him, but also the whole surgery, treatment and medical thing got postponed because the healthcare in my country is completely saturated. It’s something complicated, a treatment that I started almost two years ago and I was more than ready to be finished with that even though the surgery will be the worst part. Being finished with it would mean I’m free to finally move abroad and start working on international journalism, which is my study field and what I want to do. It’s very frustrating💔I’m very lucky because I have free healthcare that covers it and it’s something that can be cured/fixed, but the process is long, hard and exhausting😅 especially when most of my friendships and my relationship are long distance and I can’t see my people so often🥲

So, to be 100% honest with you guys, these past couple of weeks I didn’t feel like writing🥺 I’m having hard days, but I’m trying my best to keep working on Pull the trigger🫶🏼 Tomorrow you’ll have the next chapter! And I will explain a bit more about the future chapters!

Once again sorry🤍I hope you guys understand and not hate me! 

Thank you for all the messages and comments!💜

my boy I miss you!!♥️

[peaceisadirtyword]

Pull the Trigger VIII (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello! This is the next chapter🫶🏼 when I reach chapter 10 I will do a small hiatus of a couple of weeks so I can finish some requests and finish writing the rest of the chapters! But we still have a couple of weeks to go so 👀 enjoy for now! 

I told you it was slowburn but we’re already getting to the burn part!

Warnings: talks about SA, mentions of anxiety and PTSD, violence, mentions of drugs and alcohol.

Words: 3642

Read on AO3

Fic masterlist

Your head was pounding and your entire body ached when you finally opened your eyes. The light slipped through the curtains, but it took you a good two minutes to realise where you were.

Ivar’s room wasn’t like you expected. He has a couple of posters on the walls, some pictures and books. Many books. He didn’t have much furniture, only the king sized bed in which you were, a desk with some university books and notebooks and his laptop. There was a small couch next to the window and two giant shelves, and there were some cushions and blankets on the floor, where he had slept.

But Ivar wasn’t there.

The bathroom door was closed, but you couldn’t hear anything inside, so you thought he might be downstairs.

Covering your eyes to block the light that felt like fire and took a deep breath. You could barely remember anything that had happened the night before. Erik giving you a drink, Erik locking you in a room, Erik touching you…

Closing your eyes tightly, you made an effort to remember. Had he gone all the way? You remembered being with Ingrid, and maybe Thora, before passing out and waking up at the Lothbroks’ house. Taking a deep breath, you tried to sit on the bed, frowning, groaning and rubbing your eyes, immediately embarrassed. Ivar had seen you in your most vulnerable state, completely gone and out of your mind, he probably thought you were stupid as fuck and the worst part was that he was right.

You needed to get out of that house.

Looking around for your clothes you realised you were wearing Ivar’s. Maybe it was because you had grown used to his scent during the night, but now you realised you could smell him everywhere. It was overwhelming and for some reason only made you more sleepy. Giving up and thinking you would just ask Thora to pick your clothes up you grabbed your shoes and walked towards the door as fast as your incipient headache and nausea allowed you to, making an effort not to look bad. A part of you wanted to at least change the sheets and make the bed, feeling guilty, but that would lead to you having to talk to someone else, which wasn’t in your plans.

You almost got lost. Luckily, no one seemed to be awake as every single door you walked by was closed. You could see the main door at the end of the living room, you just had to get through the kitchen…

“You must be Y/N”

Fuck.

Turning to your right to look at the kitchen, you saw two women standing next to the kitchen island. You recognized one of them instantly. Long, blonde hair that fell loose down her back in waves, pale skin and skinny, with blue eyes and very tall. Aslaug Lothbrok. She had a soft expression on her face, her lips curved on a small smile. The woman next to her was way shorter and had brown eyes, but her hair was also blonde, you didn’t recognize her from anywhere but there was something about her that felt familiar.

“I… I’m sorry, I…”

“How are you feeling?” the other woman asked, and immediately approached you, examining you up and down “Did you sleep well?”

You nodded slowly, wondering if they could see the panic you felt at that exact moment.

Aslaug’s chuckle made you look at her again. She maintained quite a low profile compared to Ragnar’s previous wife, only attending to and organising charity events, barely linked to the business and seen as a cold, distant, rich woman that devoted her entire life to enjoy the money her husband made and birth sons.

In fact, she intimidated you way more than Ivar.

“Please, join us for breakfast” she pointed at one of the stalls next to the counter “Helga makes the most delicious breakfasts”

“I wouldn’t want to bother you more than I already have” you said quickly “I should go…”

“Please, I insist” she almost pouted “Helga can examine you afterwards and if you don’t feel well we can take you to the hospital, I just wouldn’t be comfortable kicking you out of my house without eating and after what’s happened”

Helga’s eyes almost begged you, so you sighed and nodded, swearing your hand trembled when you grabbed the chair. In fact, you were hungry and dizzy, almost like you hadn’t eaten in a whole day even though you recalled having dinner before going to Erik’s.

“You know what’s happened” you muttered, lowering your head in embarrassment. You wondered how many people knew at that point, probably half the party had seen you, and they would have told everyone…

“I examined you when Ivar brought you, last night” Helga smiled kindly at you “I’m a doctor” she explained.

“The best doctor in town, and in the country I’d dare say” Aslaug smiled too “Coffee or tea?”

“Tea, please” you muttered “I’m truly sorry for bothering you”

“You didn’t bother” Aslaug’s smile faded “I would have been very disappointed at my sons if they hadn’t brought you here immediately, there’s fewer places in this city safer than this house”

You had to agree with that. You hadn’t seen any house as protected as that one, even if you had only been there twice and one that you remembered.

“Yes but I… Should have been more careful, it won’t happen again, but thank you for helping me and letting me stay”

Her expression changed, immediately her face was serious when she left the cup of tea in front of you and grabbed your hand softly, making you almost flinch in surprise.

“You don’t need to apologise for that, Y/N” said Aslaug “Never apologise for something that you can’t control and that is not your fault, and this wasn’t your fault, please never think that” she sighed “What that… Boy did is terrible, and I understand you have too many emotions inside you right now, but please don’t even think for a second that it was your fault, you were just a young woman having fun in a party, and no one has the right to do anything without you consent in any case”

Your eyes filled with tears, and you gulped to try and ignore the knot you felt inside your throat. Muttering a thank you, you grabbed the cup and took a sip from the warm tea. It kind of comforted you, as the warmth spread inside your body, but you weren’t sure if it was the tea or her words.

“Is Ivar around?” you asked when you felt stable enough to talk again “I would like to thank him too…”

Aslaug’s smile came back, and you widened your eyes at how pretty she was.

“Unfortunately there were some things that required his attention today and he left early in the morning with Floki and Ubbe” she explained, and then you wondered how much sleep he had gotten “I don’t think he’ll be back until after lunch, usually these meetings take a long time” she had an apologetic smile on her face.

“It’s okay” you shrugged “I’ll just… Thank him when I see him in class”

“Your clothes are in the washing machine” Helga turned to you with a sweet smile, offering you freshly made cookies and cinnamon buns “Maybe we can have someone take them to you when they’re dry and ready”

You almost sighed in relief. You had been dreading the thought of washing those clothes by yourself, the clothes he had touched.

“Thanks” you nodded, finally breaking a smile while accepting one of the cinnamon buns. They were soft and warm, and you almost moaned in delight tasting them.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked you, her tone of voice and mannerisms made you think of a mother. She definitely behaved like that, you liked her.

“Yes, I am” you nodded “Just a bit tired, but I have the entire weekend to recover”

“I’m glad to hear that” she smiled sadly at you again “Please if you don’t feel well at any point call Ivar, he will call me”

You almost said that you didn’t have Ivar’s phone number, but closed your mouth almost immediately, because that would probably unleash more questions and you didn’t have answers.

“And have you thought about reporting this to the police?” Aslaug asked “Helga has a medical report”

“I… Haven’t thought about that, I kind of just want to forget about it” you shrugged.

“I understand” she nodded, a warm smile on her lips “But please, if you ever do remember you have our lawyers at your disposition, we’ve never lost a trial”

You nodded, thanking her with another small smile.

She opened her mouth, almost like she wanted to say something else, but a voice interrupted her. Hvitserk bursted into the kitchen almost like he hadn’t eaten in two years. He barely said a ‘good morning’ before picking up one of Helga’s cinnamon rolls. When he had eaten almost half of it in two bites, he noticed you, and you raised an eyebrow, amused. It was the first time you found Hvitserk Lothbrok funny.

“I really didn’t educate you with these manners, Hvitserk” Aslaug sighed, shaking her head before turning to you with a small smile “Forgive him, he spent way too much time with his father when he was a child”

Hvitserk rolled his eyes, turning around to kiss his mother’s cheek with his mouth still full, Aslaug frowned and slapped his arm softly, but her lips curved in a small smile.

“I didn’t know you were here, Thora and I knocked on Ivar’s door but as no one replied we thought you’d be sleeping, or that you had left”

“I was about to leave” you explained “But…”

“Hvitserk will drive you home” Aslaug interrupted you “It’s safer and quicker than a cab”

“Yes, of course, but let me eat something first, I’m starving” he winked at you “How are you?”

You smiled at him. You barely remembered anything from the night before, but you were pretty sure Hvitserk had been there at some point.

“I’m better, thank you”

“I’m glad, then, Thora will be happy to hear that, she’s been worried the entire night”

“How is she?” you nearly pouted. Even though you had been the paranoid friend lately, that position was usually Thora’s.

“She’s okay” he smiled softly “I kind of had to stop her from going back to that place to, and I’m quoting her, ‘cut off his dick and put it down his throat’, but other than that she’s fine”

To your surprise, Aslaug laughed, and Helga smiled fondly at Hvitserk. You smiled, too, it was something Thora would say when she was angry.

When she finally arrived she looked more than relieved to see you. She hugged you so tightly you almost fell off the stool, but hugged her back until she almost sobbed.

“I’m sorry” she sighed.

“Why are you sorry?” you chuckled, shaking your head.

“Because it was me the one that told you to hook up with him from the beginning” she pouted “I’m an idiot”

“You didn’t force me though” you caressed her arm softly, trying to comfort her “And you tried to warn me, as did Ivar” you bit your lip “And I didn’t listen”

“I can’t blame you for that” Aslaug smiled sadly, offering a cup of coffee to Thora, who took it with a smile “I love my son, but he has a very… Blunt way of saying things”

Hvitserk chuckled, shaking his head.

“That’s the nice way of saying he’s an asshole for the most part of the day”

“Hvitserk! Watch that mouth!” Aslaug scolded him, and it actually made you smile again.

When reunited, that family wasn’t as bad as you thought.

_______________________________

Hvitserk drove both Thora and you home after Aslaug and Helga made you promise you’d call them if you needed anything. The ride back was awkward, and sitting at the back of the car you could see Hvitserk’s hand over your friend’s thigh, the looks they gave to each other… And the small kiss they shared when he parked in front of your building that made you look away.

“Y/N, if you need anything, Thora has my phone number” Hvitserk turned to look at you with a sympathetic smile “Let us know”

You nodded slowly, whispering a thank you before stepping out of the car, waiting a couple of minutes for them to say goodbye.

You let out a sigh when you finally entered your flat, feeling immensely tired once again, and made your way to the kitchen to pour some water on a glass and drink. Thora hugged you from behind, making you tear up again.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your night” you muttered “It was important for you”

She shook his head.

“That doesn’t matter, your wellbeing is more important than a date” she smiled “Besides, Hvitserk and I talked after everything”

“And?” you raised an eyebrow, turning to look at her.

“I think we’re a couple now” she bit her lip, holding back a smile “Or… Something like it, he called me his girl”

You cleared your throat, shaking your head and rubbing your eyes at the same time, making Thora chuckle.

“I can’t deal with this right now” you groaned “I’m going to sleep for a bit”

She nodded, pushing you towards the couch and giving you a blanket before kissing your head softly.

“In any case, if you’re happy I’m happy for you” you muttered before she left “At the end of the day, they don’t seem to be that bad”

__________________________________________

The TV was on. You looked at the screen without really paying attention to the documentary about bears but needed some background noise to distract you from your own thoughts. Now you regretted not asking Hvitserk for Ivar’s number so you could ask him all of the questions that had been flooding your head since you woke up. But you doubted you’d be brave enough to actually ask them.

Ingrid had been with you for a while, half of the time crying and the other half hugging you. You hadn’t minded that, and appreciated her company, but the pity in her eyes was the last thing you wanted to see, and you escaped to the shower as soon as you could.

Now she had left, Astrid was with her girlfriend and Thora had announced she’d have a long and relaxing bath because Hvitserk was supposed to pick her up and take her to a very fancy restaurant. You finally had some peace to cry and just lay there trying to gain some energy again.

Until the doorbell rang.

Frowning, you raised your head, glaring at the closed door hoping the person at the other side would take the hint and leave you alone, but they insisted, and you scoffed before throwing the blanket to the floor and walking towards the door, hoping it wouldn’t be your neighbour complaining about noise again because you weren’t in the mood to deal with it.

But instead you found the pair of blue eyes you had been thinking about at the other side of the door.

Ivar didn’t smile, even though the corners of his lips curved slightly. He probably found your appearance funny, as you had changed into your pyjamas and your hair was still damp from the shower. You noticed a cut on his cheek, a fresh one, smaller than the scar he already had on his face, but it made you wonder what kind of meeting he had had that morning.

“Hi” he raised an eyebrow when you didn’t respond and stood frozen on the doorway “I came to bring you these”

He had a bag in his hand. When you took it, you saw it was your clothes, freshly washed, dried and ironed. You opened your mouth but the protest died in your throat when you saw his expression again. It was the first time since you had met him that he had such a soft expression on his face.

“I… Was going to ask Thora to pick them up for me”

“I also wanted to know how you were feeling”

You felt a strange tug inside your chest. Clearing your throat, you shrugged. You still couldn’t talk about it without tearing up and you didn’t want to tear up in front of Ivar.

“I’m… Better, thanks”

He frowned. His eyes scanned your face until you looked away.

“You don’t look better”

His honesty almost made you crack a smile.

“Come in” you moved so he could enter the flat, closing the door after him “Do you want anything to drink?” you offered, biting your lip. He looked amused at that “I don’t have much… But I can offer a glass of water…”

“Yes, water would be great”

Nodding and happy to get an excuse to escape his intense stare, you went to the kitchen and filled a glass of water, immediately feeling ashamed after you had seen the luxurious life he had.

Ivar didn’t seem to care. He drank from the glass and left it on the small table next to the couch, and he actually looked thirsty.

“Where were you?” you asked before you could stop yourself “This morning”

He looked like he didn’t expect that question, but shrugged and replied anyway.

“I had an important meeting… I just left early so I could visit someone before going back to work”

You frowned in confusion, and your eyes went back to the small scar on his cheek. Almost like he could feel it, his fingers touched it.

“If it comforts you, he ended up way worse than this”

“Erik?” you almost spat his name, gasping in realisation “Did you go to see Erik?”

“He deserved it”

You felt dizzy, immediately realising who you were talking to. The people of Kattegat respected his family for a reason.

“What? Do you feel sorry for him?” he scoffed, and every single trace of softness and worry disappeared from his mind.

“No, but…” you took a deep breath “Why did you do that?”

“Because he drugged you to… Do the Gods know what with you, Y/N” he raised his voice and you winced “And he has done that before and…” he clenched his jaw “Look, you might not remember, but I saw you, you weren’t yourself, you were…”

“I know, I lived it” you scoffed, shaking your head “What I don’t get is why you care so much!”

Ivar clenched his jaw again, his grip around the crutch tightened and he took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

“You know? A simple thank you would be enough”

“I’m not going to thank you for beating Erik up!” you rubbed your face “Oh my god, I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved in whatever relationship Thora has with your family, you can’t just go around beating people up!”

“If they’re people like Erik then yes, we fucking can” he almost spat, glaring at you “I did what I did because of you, because he hurt you!”

You sighed again, taking a deep breath and fighting the tears that threatened to fall down your cheeks. It wasn't until the knot on your throat softened when you spoke again.

“But why do you care about me? We’ve met how many times? Four? Five? I just feel like you had all that rage against Erik and needed an excuse to let it out”

Ivar’s expression changed. It was almost sad, when you finally looked at him again. He almost pouted before replying.

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“The fact that we hadn’t talked before doesn’t mean I didn’t know who you were” he continued, shaking his head “I knew, because I went every single fucking day to that class just to see you” Ivar’s voice trembled, and you tilted your head in confusion “Because I told my brother your friend looked nice, I told him he should invite her and her friends to our fucking club because I couldn’t talk to you, Y/N, but even then you preferred to be with Erik and I tried to warn you and warn everyone because I knew he’d try to hurt you but I didn’t want to be right!” he yelled, and your lips parted in realisation “It was the first time in my life that I prayed to be wrong because it was you, so yes, I can beat him up, and I didn’t kill him because my family wouldn’t let me, but trust me, if it was for me he would be in a fucking coffin right now, and I wouldn’t regret a thing”

His last words were a mere whisper, and you realised just how close he was until he stopped talking. Your eyes were fixed on his, and you instinctively leant in, you could already feel his breathing against your lips…

“Y/N? I heard yelling, are you…?” Thora entered the living room, interrupting you and making Ivar step back, looking down at his own feet as she froze. She had only a bathrobe on and was drying her hair with a towel “Okay?”

Her eyes widened seeing Ivar standing in the living room. He shook his head, barely looking at any of you and pointing at the bag with the clothes you had left on the couch.

“I just came by to bring these” he shrugged “I’m leaving now”

He walked towards the door, looking back at you almost like he was expecting for you to say something, but you couldn’t physically produce any kind of sound.

When the door closed behind him, you finally let the tears roll down your cheeks.

____________________________

Tags:  @istorkyou @barnes-lothbrok @naaladareia @youbloodymadgenius @southernbe @yummycastiel @nothingtolosebutweight @noway4u @cdauni @heavenly1927 @ivarhoegh @biancathecool @helleiaiwritting @marvelsangels @ironynoticony​ @kenyadakblalock​ @mymindfuckery​ @alexa4040

[peaceisadirtyword]

the comments in this made me tear up ♥️ thank you

me @ you guys🫶🏼

Pull the Trigger VI (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello! This was one of the hardest chapters I’ve ever written because of a personal experience that still haunts me until today. It has conditioned my way of socialising and it has prevented me from doing many things, and it’s something I’ll carry for the rest of my life. Unfortunately this is way more common than we’d ever think, and sometimes it’s very obvious but it can also go unnoticed. It’s not my intention by any means to romanticise this kind of situations, as it’s a nightmare I wish no one had to live. Most of the times we don’t have someone to protect us like they do in this fic, it’s a shame but it’s also a reality and I think we as a society don’t do enough to stop these kind of situations from happening. We need to let the victims speak, empathise with them and punish the perpetrators. And learn that no means no, and that when there’s not a yes it’s also no, and when the other person tries to escape it’s also no, and that it’s also a no when they’re under the influence of alcohol, drugs or under compulsion. In one word: consent. 

This said, even if it’s just a very small part of what I have to say, I hope you like this chapter. Thank you so much for reading and for all of the nice comments♥️ You guys rock. 

Warnings: +18! this chapter contains a scene that includes sexual assault, alcohol consumption, drugging and non-consent, please do not read if this is a triggering subject for you, I tried to make it as short and undetailed as possible, but it’s still a very sensitive topic. As a victim of SA myself I completely understand if it’s too much. Please take care and be safe. In case you suffer an attack like this please  go to the hospital as soon as possible, I won’t tell you whether you should talk about it or not because that’s very personal and no one should tell you what to do when you’re a victim. You are not alone and it’s not your fault♥️ please be safe and take care of your loved ones🫶🏼

Words: 3639

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[peaceisadirtyword]

Pull the Trigger VII (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hi!!🥰 I will be in Dublin when you guys read this so I truly hope Tumblr queues it correctly😭 Thank you so so much for the sweet comments on the last chapter, you guys are great♥️ This one is also a bit dark but no more SA triggers, no worries🫶🏼 Thank you for reading, I hope you like it!

Warnings: mentions of drugs (involuntary consume), alcohol, possible PTSD, violence, threats, Ivar gets (very) angry, but also a bit of fluff and softness. 

Words: 2972

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Your head was pounding almost like you had drunk an entire bottle of alcohol by yourself. The music coming from the party now sounded far away, and some parts of your body still ached from Erik's forceful grip. They also felt dirty.

In any case, you couldn't think straight. You had thrown up on the street when Ingrid had taken you out of that house. Now you'd swear she was sitting next to you, but couldn't be certain as you didn't dare to raise your head from between your legs.

“Y/N!"

You recognized that voice, but weren't sure of who it was. It wasn't until Thora kneeled in front of you and raised your head to take a look at you when you realised.

“Thora" your voice sounded like a whine and talking only made you feel worse.

“Oh my god" your friend sighed “Okay, you're okay, I've brought help, Y/N"

Hvitserk kneeled next to her, he cupped your head to try and make you open your eyes and look at him.

“She's conscious, that's a good sign" he said “Hey, Y/N, do you feel like throwing up?"

“She did when we came outside" Ingrid bit her lip “Then she kind of passed out and I freaked out, that's when I called you" she sounded nervous, and you just wanted to turn to her and tell her you were fine, but for some reason you couldn't “I woke her up with some water and I tried to make her eat something but she refuses"

“Y/N"

This voice you recognized almost instantly, forcing yourself to open your eyes and looking up to see a very angry Ivar standing next to you. You felt like crying then. That voice had been inside your head for days, unwilling to leave, why was he here now? Were you dying or something worse?

“Let's take her home" Hvitserk said, and Thora nodded before grabbing your other arm, helping Hvitserk to get you up. Ivar stepped forward and you grabbed his jacket unconsciously, sniffing and almost searching for comfort in his smell and warmth. For some reason, now you only wanted to cuddle him and sleep, touch him and hear his voice, in real life and saying nicer things than the last ones he had said.

“Look at me" he almost ordered, and you made the effort to look at him again. His face was more hypnotising than ever... Were his eyes so bright before? They almost looked like gemstones... “Who did this to you?"

You let out a sigh, almost sobbing and shaking your head. You couldn't think, you couldn't talk. You just wanted to get home.

“Was it Erik? Did Erik hurt you?" he asked again, lowering his voice “Answer me, tell me the name of the person who did this to you and I swear they won't see daylight again, princess"

You just nodded, not finding the words to tell him that you didn't care about Erik, only that he was there and you wanted him to take you home. For some reason.

Ivar looked at the entrance. You felt his entire body tense up but no matter how tightly you grabbed him, he still walked away too easily.

Hvitserk took you to the car, and you almost sighed in delight when you finally were able to sit on a comfortable seat. Ingrid and Thora climbed inside after you, and Hvitserk whispered something you couldn't hear.

“Ivar?" you muttered again, feeling nervous and lost now that he had disappeared again.

“I'll go get him" Hvitserk said to Thora, who nodded “I'll be right back"

He didn't have to look for him for too long. Erik stood next to the door. His lip was split and the annoying smirk had disappeared from his face. People had moved away from Ivar, who looked more than ready to murder someone.

“Next time you get even close to her I will put a fucking bullet inside your empty head" Ivar threatened, but Hvitserk grabbed his arm to hold him. He was trembling in rage, and Hvitserk feared he'd lose control once again.

“Ivar" he hissed “Let's go, there's too many people here"

“Do you hear me?!" he roared, and Hvitserk swore Erik shuddered.

“Ivar" his brother tried to pull him away, but he kept ignoring him “She's in the car, we need to leave, also she asked for you"

That seemed to calm him down. After spitting in Erik's direction, he turned around. Hvitserk almost groaned in desperation when Erik decided to talk.

“That fucking little bitch isn't even hot" he spat some blood, and Ivar stopped again “Good luck trying to fuck her, Boneless, you'll need it"

Hvitserk had to practically push Ivar outside the house and prayed that he didn't remember the gun he carried with him in his pocket. He could hear Erik laughing, but ignored him. They would take care of him soon.

_________________________________________

Helga was already there when Ubbe brought you inside the room. Ivar walked with his crutch as fast as he could behind his brother, cursing his legs for making him go so slow and also preventing him from carrying you there himself. The room Aslaug had always named "the infirmary" was a small living room that was used to treat Ivar outside the hospitals. He had forgotten how much time he had spent there, but it had everything one would need; a bed, monitors, and medical stuff that his father had purchased as soon as the doctors had said that he would be able to live a pretty normal life if he had constant medical care. Hospitals were okay for a few days, but also not as safe and too public sometimes, so they had installed a TV and bought shelves for books and it became the Lothbroks' play room, where his brothers would spend their evenings after school to keep him company.

Helga smiled warmly at him when he approached the bed in which Ubbe just left you. You were conscious, but could barely keep your eyes open and the light bothered you. She leant into you to examine you and you frowned.

“Was she feeling sick on your way here?" Helga asked, and Ivar shook his head.

“Her friend said she threw up when they were still at the party, and then passed out, but she was able to wake her up again"

“Good, she looks pretty conscious so she probably didn't drink much... Do you know what type of drug they gave her?"

Ivar shook his head again. The one familiar with drugs was Hvitserk, and he was on his way to take Ingrid home with Thora.

“Looks like ecstasy or GHB" he said “Probably, but I can't know for sure"

“Yes" her lips pressed together as she turned to you again, smiling softly “Hello, Y/N, my name is Helga, I'm a nurse but you're now at the Lothbrok's house" she continued talking softly, Ivar remembered that tone from when he was little “I'm going to place an IV on your arm now, okay? If you feel pain or you feel sick tell me"

You tried to nod, but barely could move your head. Ivar sat next to you.

“Hey" he said softly “Can you hear me?"

Again, his voice made you open your eyes, and instantly narrowed them to avoid the intense light.

“I'm..." you tried to speak again, turning your head only to widen your eyes when you saw the needle Helga had on her hands.

“Look at me" Ivar made you turn your head again, distracting you “Are you afraid of needles?" he chuckled “Needles scare you but I don't?"

You barely felt it when Helga placed the IV in your arm, but almost smiled at his words. It was frustrating how your body kept refusing to react the way you wanted.

“Relax" Ivar said again “You're safe here"

And just like that it was almost like they had taken an immense weight off your shoulders. Finally, you closed your eyes and relaxed, falling asleep almost instantly.

____________________________________

It was too quiet when you opened your eyes. The ceiling was spinning around and you had to shut your eyes again to avoid feeling sick, but groaned and rubbed your eyes. There was a dull pain on your arm and your head felt lighter and almost like you had drunk way too much.

It took you a few seconds to realise you weren't in your room. Or any room you were familiar with. And when you looked around after sitting up with some difficulties you were even more shocked when you saw Ivar Lothbrok looking right at you.

He had a book on his hands, the small lamp on a bedside table was on even though the rest of the room was dark. And he looked amused when you opened and closed your mouth a couple of times.

“Hello, sleeping beauty" he smirked.

“Where am I?" you groaned “God, I can't remember a thing... I was at Erik's party, he... I don't remember, I just remember..." the images of him pushing you inside a room and touching you flooded your mind, and you shook your head to make them go away “What are you doing here?"

“You're at my house" he explained softly, his tone was patient and comforting, definitely not a tone he had used with you before “Your drink was spiked, Erik drugged you" he sighed “We brought you here, and Helga gave you something to make you feel better" he pointed at your arm and you looked down to find a gauze on your inner bow “Then you fell asleep, it's four in the morning now, so you can go back to sleep"

You looked around again, still confused.

“You have a hospital in your house?"

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“A long story, now sleep"

“I... Would like to wash my face... Remove my makeup and change clothes" you muttered rubbing your face again. Just remembering Erik had touched you made you want to get into a shower and rub your skin until every single trace of his touch had faded. Then burn your clothes “Can I?"

Ivar nodded, and left the book on the table before reaching for his crutch and standing up. You stared at him while he moved to turn on the lights and turn off the small lamp.

“You can use my bathroom" he said “And my bed is more comfortable than this one, can you walk?"

You weren't very sure, but you nodded anyway, and put the blankets back to get out of the bed. You felt dizzy for a moment and Ivar had to hold you.

“I can't carry you" he whispered “But I can call one of my brothers and..."

“No, don't bother anyone" you shook your head “I'm fine"

The way to his bedroom was agonisingly slow. Ivar walked next to you, his arm behind your back in case he'd have to catch you if you fell, but luckily his bedroom was on the ground floor, not too far from the room you just left.

He turned on the lights. You would have liked to look around and see what he had, but you didn't dare to raise your head as you entered the bathroom as quickly as you could. You could barely make your way to the toilet and open it when you fell to your knees and threw up again. Luckily, the bathroom was adapted and quite large.

Coughing and sniffing, you felt the tears fall down your cheeks and startled when Ivar's hand pulled your hair away. His other hand remained on your back, caressing it slowly. You wanted to start sobbing, but you felt humiliated enough to hold it back and dry your tears with your hand.

Ivar didn't say anything. Instead, he took a clean towel to clean your mouth and your cheeks, and when you finally felt good enough to stand up again and looked in the mirror, you gasped.

It was like the blood had left your face. Your makeup was ruined, smudged around your eyes, your hair was also a mess, and the image only made you feel even worse.

“Sorry" you muttered, your lower lip trembling, when Ivar approached you after throwing the towel inside the laundry basket and reaching for a clean one.

“Don't be" he simply replied, and patted the marble counter just under the mirror  “Come on, I'll remove your makeup"

You didn't have the strength to argue, so you sat on the counter so you could be more or less at his height while he wetted the towel.

His touch was soft and gentle, which you would've never imagined. He looked focused, his hand placed right next to you supported his weight.  

“You were right"

His eyes fixed on yours, and his expression softened as he stopped. Finally, you got an excuse to stare at his face, that beautiful face you loved to hate.

“I always am" he replied, and his jaw clenched “But I swear to the Gods, I was hoping I would be wrong this time"

You sniffed again, looking down at your lap and smiling softly.

“Aren't you going to smirk and say: I told you so?"

“No" Ivar's fingers on your chin made you raise your head again as he continued to remove your makeup “I did punch him in the face, though, and I would have done way more if Hvitserk had let me" he pressed his lips together “I swear, the only thing I wanted was to make him suffer for as long as I could before putting a bullet between his eyes"

“Please don't..." you gulped, shaking your head “Put a bullet between anyone's eyes, it's... Violent"

Ivar smiled then, and your stomach fluttered, almost like you were on a rollercoaster ride.

“Violent doesn't even come close to describe what I will do to him" he whispered “You don't need to know the details, though, close your eyes"

You did as you were told, and the soft, warm towel started removing the makeup from your eyelids. He was so close to you that you could feel his breath hitting your lips, and you'd swear that made you even dizzier. You wanted nothing more than to lean in and press your lips against yours, but you stayed as still as you could, enjoying the closeness, the silence and the nice feeling of his touch.

_________________________

“I will give you some clothes” he muttered, and you nodded slowly as he left the bathroom, only to come back a couple of minutes later with a t-shirt and some sweatpants “They’re mine, but the only woman clothes in this house are upstairs and I…” he touched his leg, and you smiled softly at him.

“It’s okay, thank you”

He closed the door behind himself. You sighed again and turned to the mirror to wet your face.

When you were finished in the bathroom, you stepped into the bedroom again. Ivar had extended a few cushions and blankets on the floor and stood now shirtless in the middle of the room. You froze and widened your eyes.

Just before he turned around, you were able to admire his back. He had tattoos that started at his back, and tensed over his muscles when he moved, the ink lines travelled over his shoulders and arms and continued on his chest. You cleared your throat, your head felt even lighter now and you had to hold onto the door for a moment.

“I um… I can sleep on the floor if you prefer”

Ivar rolled his eyes as he slipped a grey t-shirt over his head. You almost pouted in protest when his masterpiece of a body got covered up.

“Shut up and get into bed, I’ll be right back”

You obeyed him. Maybe in any other circumstances you would have argued, told him he was no one to decide for you and that he couldn’t just tell you what to do, but the softness of the covers, the comfort of the bed and the unmistakable scent of Ivar that lingered on the pillows were more than enough to make you sigh in delight.

That was probably the best bed you had ever been in.

When Ivar left the bathroom, you heard how he threw the crutches away, before he spoke:

“I need to sit down on the bed to take off the braces, do you mind?”

You raised your head and stared at him, shaking your head slowly. The fact that Ivar Lothbrok had asked for your permission to sit on his own bed in case it bothered you blowed your mind. And also melted your heart a bit.

He groaned slightly when he started taking them off. The vast, iron braces fell to the floor, but Ivar kept touching his legs softly, taking deep breaths until he finally sat on the floor, crawling to the improvised bed he had built.

“Do they hurt?” you asked, your head back down onto the pillows. Now that he was on the floor you could see him while laying down.

He looked taken aback by your question, and his reply took a few seconds.

“Yes” he finally said “They hurt every day, but some days are better that others”

“What is it called?” you asked, biting your lip “Your disease”

“Osteogenesis Imperfecta” he replied, looking up at his own ceiling “Type IV”

You nodded slowly before reaching to turn off the lights. You felt sleepy now and your entire body felt heavy and numb.

“I’m sorry you’re in pain” you muttered “It sucks”

Ivar stayed silent. You could hear his breathing and how he moved between the blankets he had on the floor.

“Yeah” he said “It sucks”

______________________________________

Tags:  @istorkyou​ @barnes-lothbrok​ @naaladareia​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @southernbe​ @yummycastiel​ @nothingtolosebutweight​ @noway4u​ @cdauni @heavenly1927​ @ivarhoegh​ @biancathecool​ @helleiaiwritting​ @marvelsangels​ @ironynoticony​​ @kenyadakblalock​​ @mymindfuckery​​ @alexa4040

[peaceisadirtyword]

Hi, how are you? I’m in love with pull the trigger, it’s what keeps me motivated to get through my week. I just want to ask if you are working on any requests you have as well? I sent one in and i love it if you’d chose to write that concept. But don’t worry I understand you have a a lot of other stuff to do and I totally get that your series is nr 1, trust me I’m not complaining. It’s just I like your content! If you end up not writing it don’t worry, I totally get it. This is not meant to sterss ypu out or put pressure on you! Just curious! So yeah, sending good vibes and lots of love your way

Hello love!♥️ Thank you so so much! I truly hope you like what's next🫶🏼 About the requests! Yes! I truly should work on those more because I have three of them and I really want to finish them! I really have no excuse other than procrastinating too much😭 I'm also finishing a pre-surgery treatment and as it's a major surgery and will need some time to recover I'm trying to get everything done before that, but doing too many things at once makes me end up doing nothing but stress over the many things I need to do😂 so yes! I'm taking way more time than I expected but I'll work on the requests too🥰 so sorry for the delay!

Thank you❤️

he's so funny

[peaceisadirtyword]

Actually, I think this time Tumblr didn't mess up, I'm just anxious when I'm into something hahaha but I loved the chapter. Your writing just keeps us wanting more

This week it was entirely my fault!😭 but it's up already🫶🏼 thank you so so much, I really hope you like it♥️

[peaceisadirtyword]

I can't help open tumblr million times like my broke ass phone gonna break down. I'm so excited to see chapter vi🙏🙏🙏

Hi love! So sorry for the delay♥️ it's already up! I would love to blame Tumblr again but this time it was my fault because I forgot to queue the chapter😭 I just finished my last exam like an hour ago and suddenly I remembered, it was a bit chaotic😂

so I hope you like it❤️ thank you!

[peaceisadirtyword]

Pull the Trigger VI (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello! This was one of the hardest chapters I’ve ever written because of a personal experience that still haunts me until today. It has conditioned my way of socialising and it has prevented me from doing many things, and it’s something I’ll carry for the rest of my life. Unfortunately this is way more common than we’d ever think, and sometimes it’s very obvious but it can also go unnoticed. It’s not my intention by any means to romanticise this kind of situations, as it’s a nightmare I wish no one had to live. Most of the times we don’t have someone to protect us like they do in this fic, it’s a shame but it’s also a reality and I think we as a society don’t do enough to stop these kind of situations from happening. We need to let the victims speak, empathise with them and punish the perpetrators. And learn that no means no, and that when there’s not a yes it’s also no, and when the other person tries to escape it’s also no, and that it’s also a no when they’re under the influence of alcohol, drugs or under compulsion. In one word: consent. 

This said, even if it’s just a very small part of what I have to say, I hope you like this chapter. Thank you so much for reading and for all of the nice comments♥️ You guys rock. 

Warnings: +18! this chapter contains a scene that includes sexual assault, alcohol consumption, drugging and non-consent, please do not read if this is a triggering subject for you, I tried to make it as short and undetailed as possible, but it’s still a very sensitive topic. As a victim of SA myself I completely understand if it’s too much. Please take care and be safe. In case you suffer an attack like this please  go to the hospital as soon as possible, I won’t tell you whether you should talk about it or not because that’s very personal and no one should tell you what to do when you’re a victim. You are not alone and it’s not your fault♥️ please be safe and take care of your loved ones🫶🏼

Words: 3639

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“I can’t believe you are leaving me alone for a man again” you pouted while stepping out of the shower, Thora smiled softly at you through the bathroom mirror. She had a pair of tweezers on her hands and scrutinised her own reflection, looking for the little hairs under her eyebrow that had escaped.

“You’ll be fine, Ingrid is going with you” she chuckled “Do you want to borrow my silver purse? It goes very well with the blue dress”

Your eyes lightened up at that. You loved that purse.

“You’re trying to bribe me with a purse?”

“I’m not trying, I’m bribing you with a purse” she smirked “Besides, I’m in a very good mood today”

You started drying your hair with the towel, glancing at her curiously.

“How so?“

Thora’s face lightened up with a smile when she looked at you, almost like she had been waiting to tell you for days.

“Hvitserk is cooking dinner for me”

You rolled your eyes.

“So he’s doing the bare minimum, good for him, what does he want in exchange?”

“I’m going to ignore that because I’m in a very good mood” she repeated “He’s cooking for me at his house, he says we need to talk”

You widened your eyes.

“I think he might want to be exclusive” Thora continued, giggling.

“What? He probably does that with every single girl he meets, Thora!“ you groaned, and her smile faltered “Look, I want you to be happy, but do you think you can be happy with someone that is always on the magazine covers because he fucks every single person he can?”

Thora sighed, grabbing her makeup and turning to the mirror again.

“I know what you think of him, Y/N, but you don’t know him like I do” she pressed her lips together “And if Hvitserk asks me to be his girlfriend tonight I will say yes, because I really like him, and if he turns up to be a fucking idiot that is only playing with me, then I will come to you so you can tell me ‘I told you’ with a condescending tone and I will let you take care of me, because I know you will because you’re my best friend”

You bit your lip, suddenly feeling guilty for having yelled at her. You had tried your best to try and like the Lothbroks, for her sake, but the mere thought of those privileged, cocky, handsome bastards, especially the one with those piercing blue eyes that wouldn’t leave your mind, made your blood boil. You hated that every single person just succumbed to their charms, ignoring the obvious red flags of their family.

“Okay” you sighed, making Thora smile a bit “But if he breaks your heart I will follow him until the end of the world, I will kill him and I will feed him to stray dogs”

Thora laughed then, shaking her head as she moved to hug you tightly.

“And I will join you in your anti-Lothbrok campaign” she promised with a giggle.

“Anyway” you finally stepped back “I better get dressed or I’ll be late”

Thora watched you grab your makeup bag and open the door to leave the bathroom.

“Hey” she said just when you were stepping out, making you look back with a small smile “If anything happens when you’re at Erik’s place… Please call me, okay? I know Ingrid will be there but please if you need something call me”

“Don’t tell me you believe the rumours, Thora” you groaned “Why do you listen to them more than to me?”

“No, just… Just call me, okay?”

You sighed, nodding.

“Fine, I will”

________________________________

Erik's place was not far from your own, a two-storey house he shared with another guy. It was already full of people when you arrived with an excited Ingrid following you, talking about how nice it was that both of her best friends had nice boyfriends that always invited her to places. You recognized some people from university, but most of the guys that were there you had no idea of who they were. Some of them had a weird vibe around them that immediately threw you off. The worst part was finding Erik with a bunch of them, drinking and laughing loudly while they played pool.

“It's nice to see you, beautiful" Erik leant in again to kiss you but you put your cheek instead with a forced smile. You had been a bit uneasy about this party since you got invited, and for some reason seeing the company he had there only made you turn around and leave.

Besides, Thora's news about Hvitserk maybe wanting to make it official only put a weird weight on your stomach.

“Hi" you greeted him, trying to move away from him as Erik kept his arms around you, finding your rejection amusing. Ingrid bit her lip and looked around, visibly uncomfortable, and grabbed your arm as soon as you were free from his grip.

“I thought you'd never come, would you like some drinks, ladies?" he smirked at the both of you and you nodded slowly, knowing you needed alcohol to deal with all of that. Ingrid looked around trying to find a familiar face, and sighed in relief when she spotted two girls she knew.

“I'll be right back" Erik winked at you, and Ingrid quickly reassured him that she didn't need a drink, for she had found two friends and would go say hello on her way to grab a less strong drink. Her last phrase was said with her eyes fixed on the glass Erik had on his hand, which was pure alcohol.

As soon as the two of them left, you looked around again, feeling more and more uneasy with every single look people casted your way. The group of guys Erik was talking to looked older. One of them, the tallest one, was blonde and had a weird tattoo on his cheek, his hair was long and greasy and his beard was badly maintained, with it having bald patches. His clothes were in a better shape, though you hoped he washed it more than he did himself. Around him, his gang was no better- all of them had ugly tattoos and looked as mean and cruel as him. It nearly made you shiver when he looked you up and down, and you almost groaned in relief when Erik came back with a full glass of alcohol for you.

“Don't mind them" he chuckled, shaking his head “They're old friends of my dad, they're like family to me but they were leaving already" he shook his head. Almost like they had heard him, the blonde man stood up and walked towards the exit, not before casting a last look at Erik. Waving them goodbye, he let his arm fall on your shoulders as soon as you had grabbed your own glass.

“They don't exactly look like someone people would like to party with" you muttered. Erik laughed.

“You're right, I guess!" he was maybe too cheerful, and that made you raise an eyebrow before thinking it could be the alcohol “Aren't you going to try your drink? It's one of my father's best whiskeys... But don't tell anyone, I'm afraid I don't have enough whiskey for all of them"

You sniffed the liquid before wrinkling your nose.

“A bit strong, isn't it?"

“Yeah, that's what makes it good" he chuckled again.

Finally gaining enough courage to take a sip, you started coughing almost immediately. Maybe you didn't know how to appreciate a good glass of whiskey, but that was probably the worst drink you had ever tried.

“Come on, I thought you were a girl that could handle her alcohol!" Erik seemed very amused by your struggling, and you had to try your best to avoid glaring at him or emptying the cup on his face.

But, on second thoughts, strong alcohol was exactly what you needed if you were to stand his repulsive behaviour for the entire night.

Taking a bigger sip, you ignored Erik's laughs and looked around the room for Ingrid, who was nowhere to be found, and cursed when you realised you didn't know anyone close to you that could give you a break from Erik's insistence.

Almost an hour and a few more sips later, your head started feeling a bit more light. Closing your eyes and rubbing them carefully not to ruin your makeup, you realised Erik had stopped laughing, and his hands were now roaming down your body.

“Hey" you slapped his hand away when he was approaching your ass, pressing your lips together “Who said you have permission to touch?"

He giggled, not really impressed by what you thought was a scolding tone.

“Where's your friend?" he kissed your cheek “The one so close to the Lothbroks? I thought you'd bring her, did she ditch you to go and fuck Hvitserk again?"

“Thora?" you frowned, a bit confused because it was the first time Erik had shown any interest in her “I don't know" you lied “She just said she couldn't come, I didn't really ask, she's old enough to do so... Hey, can you stop that? We're in the middle of a room with other people here, it's not polite to just start... Touching people in public like that"

Again, he looked amused, but you were about to reach the point of slapping him across his face.

“We can go somewhere more private, if you'd prefer..."

“No, I just need some air" you said softly, feeling a bit more light-headed every minute that passed.

“Sure" he smiled softly at you “I know somewhere we can get some air, come on"

Before you could react, he pushed you towards the stairs, grabbing your hand to pull you upstairs, away from the noise, the heat and the people. A bit confused, you followed him not really knowing where he intended to go. Something inside you was screaming to run back downstairs, find Ingrid and leave that house that made you so uneasy, but you were feeling a bit more tired than you would usually be having drank only half a glass of alcohol, and you thought a bit of air would do you good.

“Wouldn’t it be better if we went outside?” you muttered, looking back down the stairs. Your mouth felt weird, almost like you couldn’t pronounce the words properly “To get air”

“No, there will be too many people at the door” he chuckled “Come on, don’t you trust me?”

You didn’t reply, frowning when your head started feeling lighter. You definitely hadn’t drank enough to feel like that.

Erik opened a door and pushed you in. A bit confused, you looked around, but before you could say anything you heard him closing the door.

It was a bedroom. At that moment, you couldn’t really tell whether it was Erik’s bedroom or not nor you noticed any detail that could give you a clue of why he had brought you there.

“This is not a balcony” you managed to mumble before trying to open the door again. Erik laughed again, stopping you and pushing you back almost making you lose your balance.

“Come on” he grabbed your wrists, making sure you were completely still before kissing you. Shocked, you couldn’t register what was happening as your brain seemed to be way slower. It was almost like you had a fog on your eyes, but you could feel his lips against yours and his hands roaming up and down your body. You didn’t like it. You didn’t want him touching you. You didn’t give him permission to touch you like that.

He took advantage of your hesitation to push you towards the bed. You made a couple of weak attempts to free yourself from his grip, but every time you tried to move any part of your body it felt like you had a cement block attached to it. You remembered one of your first university parties, when you got so wasted you and Ingrid slept in the campus turf because you couldn’t even walk.

But that time you had drunk for hours straight.

“Wait” you managed to say, closing your eyes tightly. The light of the room hurt your eyes “Stop”

Erik didn’t reply, or if he did you didn’t hear it. He kept kissing down your neck, grabbing your dress to put it up. The moment his cold hand touched your leg under the dress you whimpered in discomfort, and wiggled your body to make him stop touching you.

“Stop” you repeated. Erik only tightened his grip around your wrists when you tried to push him away again “No” you almost begged when his hand reached between your legs.

You stayed still, trying to clear your mind from that stupid fog that clouded everything, but only when he let one of your arms go to unbuckle his trousers did you push him aside. Erik lost his balance and fell, cursing out loud. You stood up as quickly as you could, barely escaping his arms when he tried to catch you. You found the door, opening it with the last bit of strength you had. And ran down the hallway towards the stairs.

________________________

Thora looked around, amazed. The entire Lothbrok’s living room had changed, only one corner of the table was set, but there were candles, flowers and the smell of food and wine made her mouth water. Hvitserk looked very sexy in an apron, much more than she had ever thought. The only downside? Hvitserk’s brothers hanging out in the kitchen and eating part of the dinner.

Her smile didn’t falter, though, Hvitserk looked pretty nervous and their presence calmed him down, even though he acted like he was very annoyed.

Her phone vibrated, and she looked away from Ubbe, who was telling a story from the office, to check her screen. Her frown was what grabbed the boy’s attention.

“Everything okay?” Hvitserk’s hand on her lower back made her smile again instantly.

“Yes, I think so” after glancing back at the screen again, she locked the phone and left it on the counter, picking up her wine glass again “It’s just Ingrid, apparently Y/N doesn’t reply to her messages and she just sent one on the group chat. She does that sometimes, reads the messages and forgets to reply so we have to send her multiple messages so she sees the notifications and replies” she explained quickly “They’re at a party together, but she’s probably talking to someone and didn’t check her phone”

“Talking? Probably spreading hate towards us” Ivar opened his mouth for the first time since he arrived. Thora pressed her lips together. She felt the need to defend her friend, but Ivar still intimidated her.

“Not us, brother, probably just you” Hvitserk giggled.

“Alfred told me you made her upset the other day in class” Ubbe glanced at his youngest brother with a stern face.  

“Yes, well, she insulted me” he scoffed “He insulted Hvitserk and our family, she’s been doing that for a while now and someone had to make her stop”

Thora opened her mouth. Ivar’s eyes fixed on her, almost defying her to say something.

“I like her, to be honest” Hvitserk shrugged, refilling his wine glass “She’s not afraid of you, she’s not lining up to lick our ass like half of this damned city, she has some courage”.

“Y/N is very… Passionate, she has strong principles” Thora smiled at him “She doesn’t actually hate any of you, she’s just taking care of me, she’s very protective and loyal, she’s an amazing friend and if you give her a chance you’ll see it”.

“If she gives us a chance, you mean” Ivar rolled his eyes “She thinks she knows us after reading four articles in magazines, she’s done nothing but judge us”

Sigurd chuckled then, shaking his head.

“She might not be so wrong about you, brother”

Ivar hummed, and the glare he threw his brother's way made Thora shiver.

“I guess we’ll see in the future, brother”

Hvitserk rolled his eyes and put his arm around her shoulders.

“In any case, I’d love to start again with her, why don’t you tell her to drop by for a couple of drinks after dinner? Tell Ingrid to come too, if she wants”

“Oh, I’d love to” Thora smiled “But they’re at Erik’s place, he was throwing a party and invited Y/N… After practically assaulting her in public, but in any case…”

“Wait, she went to that asshole’s party?” Ivar clenched his jaw, and Thora was startled when he left his glass on the counter very abruptly “Wow, she is stupid”

“Ivar…” Ubbe scolded him again “Leave her alone”

“Maybe Erik actually likes her” Hvitserk raised an eyebrow “He didn’t hurt her yet, did he?”

“Yet?” Thora widened her eyes.

“He doesn’t like her, he just wants to fuck her and she’s stupid enough to fall into his trap…”

“Enough, Ivar” Hvitserk interrupted him, sighing “If they are bored at that lame party tell them to come here, I’m sure Ivar would love it if he could have someone to argue with tonight”.

Ivar rolled his eyes again, and Thora smiled softly, just before her phone vibrated again.

Ingrid was calling. Immediately, her heart started beating faster. She would never call her knowing she was on a date, not unless something had happened.

She excused herself quickly, walking a few steps away from the brothers before picking up.

“Ingrid?”

“Thora” her friend gasped, almost like she just did a great effort “I need help”

“What?” she raised her voice softly, which made the boys look at her “What’s happening?”

“It’s Y/N… Look, I went upstairs looking for her because I couldn’t find her. and I didn’t see Erik either, so I went there to look for them because I had a bad feeling and… I think someone put something in her drink, she’s… Dizzy and when I found her she was leaving Erik’s bedroom, he was inside but he’s perfectly fine… I don’t know what to do, should I take her to the hospital?”

Thora froze. She left the glass on the counter as softly as she could and rubbed her eyes, probably ruining her makeup. She turned to look at Hvitserk and the panic in her eyes made him approach her with a worried frown, if she had looked at Ivar she would have seen him sitting up and looking at her with a frown.

“Y/N… She’s been drinking… Probably a spiked drink, she’s not okay I need to go there with Ingrid and take her to the hospital”

“Fuck” Hvitserk groaned “That fucking son of a bitch”

“Ingrid, I’ll be there as soon as I can, don’t leave her alone” Thora quickly locked her phone again and reached for her purse, still not knowing what to do.

“I knew it” Ivar looked furious, and then punched the wood under the counter that crackled under his fist “I’m gonna kill that fucking clown, I’m gonna…”

“Ivar” Ubbe grabbed his arm before he put whatever he had inside the pocket of his jacket out “Don’t fool around, go with Thora and Hvitserk if you want, I’ll wait here for you and I’ll call Helga, just bring her here, don’t start anything with Erik in his own house and with more people around, is that clear?”

Thora wasn’t sure Ivar had even heard him, as he was busy grabbing his crutch and taking his phone out to make a call.

“I… I can go alone, you guys don’t have to…”

“Are you kidding?” Hvitserk smiled softly at her “I wouldn’t leave my girl alone in a moment like this, now let’s go, we’ll go in my car”

Thora froze again, her face blushed and she bit her lip to hold back a smile.

“Did you just call me…?”

“Are you coming or what?” Ivar roared from the door, which startled her but also reminded her of the seriousness of the situation.

Ivar was already entering the car when they made their way outside. Hvitserk kissed Thora's temple before she climbed into one of the backseats as he made his way to the driver's seat. She could only hear Ivar's growls and heavy breathing for a few seconds, and she stared at him in shock. It was true that she always suspected Ivar having a crush on you, maybe being a bit jealous of Erik and enjoying his banter with you because you were the only one willing to throw some insults his way, but the way he had spoken to you during class -and how upset you were after it, according to Alfred- had made her think his crush wasn't that serious and that you had really gotten on his nerves. But his reaction in the kitchen when she had said what happened to you wasn't the reaction of someone who couldn't care less about what happened to you.

“Do... Do you know where Erik lives?" she asked, realising she hadn't even asked Ingrid when she had called.

“Yes, don't worry gorgeous" Hvitserk smiled at her through the rearview mirror “We've been there a couple of times"

“Okay" she took a deep breath, letting her head rest against the headrest.

It wasn't that far from the Lothbrok's house. They had been only ten minutes in the car when Hvitserk finally stopped the car in front of a house full of people, with multiple windows opened and music coming from the inside. The front door was opened and some people stood on the entrance smoking and drinking. It was only when she stepped out of the car when she spotted Ingrid.

_______________________________________

Tags: @istorkyou @barnes-lothbrok @naaladareia @youbloodymadgenius @southernbe @yummycastiel @nothingtolosebutweight @noway4u @cdauni @heavenly1927 @ivarhoegh @biancathecool @helleiaiwritting @marvelsangels @ironynoticony​ @kenyadakblalock​ @mymindfuckery​ @alexa4040

[peaceisadirtyword]

Pull the Trigger V (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello! Once again I’m so sorry because I did leave this chapter scheduled and once again it wasn’t posted :( but it’s okay, I got it! This week and the next one I have exams so that’s why this has been so chaotic, I’m truly sorry, I should dedicate more time to this! I also just finished my treatment for the surgery and I’m waiting for the call from the hospital to start the preparations for it! so it’s a bit stressing and makes me nervous, but it’ll be fine♥️ thank you so much for reading and for sticking around, I really appreciate it🥰

Warnings: mentions of SA, sexism, dark themes, insults, Ivar gets angry :( also mentions of anxiety and depression.

Words: 3525

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The way you were constantly aware of his presence was annoying, overwhelming and  maddening. No matter how many people were in class, it was almost like he was the centre of attention constantly. Or maybe it was you, that had to fight the urge of looking at him every couple of minutes. Sitting next to you after you arrived late again, his blue eyes were fixed on the Power Point the professor was explaining about the vikings' raids in Ireland. This time he hadn't said a word to you, and even though you wanted to feel relieved about that, you couldn't help but wonder if he ever realised you had sat next to him.

Looking at your empty notes again, you sighed a bit more loudly than you intended, and finally his eyes turned to you. Ivar looked amused when you looked at him again, raising an eyebrow almost like you hadn't been trying to catch his attention for the past half an hour.

“Bored?" he whispered, tilting his head in a way that made you wonder if he actually knew how attractive he was “I can't keep giving you my notes, love, I need them too"

“I  didn't ask you to" you rolled your eyes.

“As lovely as always" he rolled his eyes too and you clenched your jaw in annoyance “Are you looking forward to seeing your boyfriend?"

“I don't have a boyfriend" you replied, even though you knew he was just trying to get a reaction out of you.

“Of course you don’t, Erik is not boyfriend material" he shrugged “Has he drugged you to get you in bed already? Or did you go voluntarily?"

You widened your eyes. You knew Ivar and Erik didn't get along, Thora had told you the names of the people Ivar couldn't stand under your request, so you could be friends with them. But accusing him of that...

“Erik would never..." you took a deep breath, unwilling to appear even slightly bothered by his taunt as you knew that was his intention “What you're saying it's very serious, you shouldn't go around saying that" you narrowed your eyes at him. Ivar rolled his, shaking his head almost like he was disappointed by your reaction.

“It's even more serious doing it" he clenched his jaw, his intense eyes fixed on every single movement the professor did “But here you are, judging me because my brother is dating your friend and hooking up with the sexist son of a bitch that assaults women"

“I judge you for way more than that" you scoffed “And they're not dating"

“So you went to bed with him willingly" he muttered “You disappoint me, I thought you'd have some self respect"

“Who I go to bed with is none of your business" you replied, trying to keep your voice low so the professor wouldn't kick you out “But given that you're accused of killing people and being a fucking gangster, it’s quite bold to accuse someone else of doing disgusting things"

Ivar chuckled quietly, shaking his head, his eyes went down to his own notes and he stood silent for a few minutes. You couldn't stop thinking about what he just said, mostly because it wasn't the first time you heard it. Surely Erik was an idiot sometimes, and could have questionable behaviour around women in clubs, but he would never abuse a woman, right? He would have tried something with you if that was the case, and he had been very respectful every time you had met, never going past what you were comfortable with.

Besides, why were you even giving any credit to anything Ivar would say? He was cruel, a bully, like everyone in his family he believed himself to be better than anyone else, always justifying his own actions just because no one had called him out in his entire life... He was accused of killing people, even if they were just as bad as he was, and he was a rich asshole that had everything he ever wanted in life. Just like Hvitserk, the one that had been sleeping in your house for at least a week now and the one eating half of your fridge every morning.

Deciding you would just ask Erik the next time you saw him, you glanced at the Power Point again, almost moaning in desperation when you realised you had zoned out for way more slides you had thought and now were on a completely different topic and, again, you had no idea of what the professor just said.

Looking at Ivar hoping he was just as lost as you were, you found him smirking at you, almost like he knew exactly what you were thinking.

“What?" he raised an eyebrow “Are you too worried that your boyfriend might be a sex offender to pay attention in class?"

“Erik is not my fucking boyfriend" you groaned, rubbing your eyes “And he's not a sex offender either, you, on the contrary" you turned your head to look at him in the eye, and Ivar tilted his head in amusement “Are a manipulative son of a bitch that likes to scare people to feel important, just like your brother that likes to use people for his own pleasure and throw them away afterwards not caring about them or their fucking feelings"

Ivar’s face changed.

“Please, leave my mother out of this" he replied, his expression was way colder then “You can insult me as much as you want if that makes you feel better for fucking that bastard, but you leave my family alone"

For the first time, you found Ivar Lothbrok intimidating, and you were sure that if you hadn't been in a classroom surrounded by people he would have done more than glaring at you like that.

“And that includes my brother" he continued, hissing in a lower voice that almost made you tremble “Hvitserk is an asshole, but no one is allowed to point that out as many times as you did, princess, so by all means, hate me as much as you want, cry because your best friend is fucking one of us, despise my family, but never and I mean never insult us again in my presence or you will regret it" he whispered, and for the first time you were speechless “It's not my fault that your life is so worthless and boring that you have to follow Erik around begging for some attention, I only tried to warn you, so stop being a bitch and fuck off"

When he finished you had tears in your eyes. Ivar just turned around, looking at the professor just as he announced the end of the class and people started standing up. Looking down at your empty notes you felt him stand and leave the classroom with the rest of your classmates, and just when the first tears fell down your cheeks you felt a hand on your shoulder.

Alfred's eyes widened in surprise when he saw you crying, and immediately occupied the seat Ivar just left.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?" he glanced at the door “Did Ivar do anything?"

You gulped, covering your face in both shame and anger, not believing you were crying because of that idiot.

“Am I... Am I a bitch?" your lip trembled as you raised your head to look at him.

Alfred looked even more surprised then, and started frowning at the door.

“What?"

“I swear I'm not trying to be a bitch I just want to make sure Thora doesn't suffer because of a stupid boy" you sniffed “Hvitserk has a terrible reputation, and Ivar even worse... I don't mean to be a bitch to anyone, I...  My life sucks and I don't know what to do, I just wanted to make sure my friend was happy, that's all, I..."

Alfred shushed you with a small smile on his lips, leaning in to hug you tightly with a chuckle.

“You're clearly in need of a relaxing night of therapy" he muttered against your hair “Come to my place for dinner, Elsewith is cooking".

You nodded slowly, finally wiping your tears and taking a deep breath. You couldn't believe you were so affected by his words, the words of someone you despised so much... But it was the way he had said them, with that stern glare and disappointed tone, almost like you had let him down. Was everyone just as aware as him of how unhappy you were?

Leaving the classroom with Alfred, part of the sadness you felt turned into anger. Who was he to talk to you like that? The frustration made you close the door maybe a bit too harshly, and some of the people standing on the hallway turned to look at you, including Ivar, who still looked pissed as he talked to a very amused Hvitserk.

“Wow, someone is not having a good day" Erik's voice next to you made you jump, even though your expression softened and you even smiled a bit, even when you didn't feel like it.

“I need to go to work" Alfred looked at Erik up and down with clear displeasure for his presence, but smiled at you “I'll pick you up when I'm out"

“Okay, see you" you hugged him one last time before he left, not even glancing back at Erik once.

“I just wanted to check on you, I haven't seen you in days" Erik tilted his head with a flirtatious smile, and the tilt of the head was something you had associated with Ivar so much that it infuriated you when you surprised yourself thinking he looked much better than Erik doing it.

“Yes, I've been busy" you cleared your throat, trying to regain some composure. It was the truth, you had been very busy the past few days giving your cv to every single person that would take it and doing job interviews that ended very often with a ‘it's not what we're looking for, but we'll keep your cv and will call you if any other position becomes available’, which was a more polite way of saying ‘you're not getting this job, now get the fuck out of my office’.

“Are you busy tomorrow? I'm throwing a party with my roommate at my place" Erik kept smiling, this time reaching to grab your waist in a flirtatious way “I would love it if you could come, we can have some time to catch up" he winked, and you cleared your throat.

“Um... Sure, I'll be there... Can I bring a friend?"

“Of course" he smiled widely "See you, then"

Before you could react, Erik leaned in to kiss you softly. His lips were a bit dry and forceful, and you almost pushed him away, ashamed that he'd do that in public without asking you first. He looked damn proud of himself when he walked away, and you took a couple of minutes to take a deep breath and wipe your mouth before leaving the campus, not before glaring at Ivar, who glared right back at you. You had another class, but at that moment you couldn't care less.

________________________________________

Ivar stormed out of the classroom, scaring a group of girls that talked cheerfully just outside. He had to bite his tongue before he'd yell at them to move, but instead he just glared at them and that was enough to make them step aside and let him walk outside. Hvitserk was waiting for him in the hallway, looking bored as hell and scrolling down his phone.

“Took you long enough" he scoffed when Ivar finally reached him “How was your day? Not very good from what I see" Hvitserk chuckled, already too used to his brother's bad mood to let them affect him.

“I can't stand her anymore, Hvitserk" Ivar gripped his crutch so tightly he could hear his fingers crackle “She thinks she's so much better than us, I can't deal with her anymore, so please just break up with her friend because I can't keep having her around"

“Wait, who are we talking about?" his older brother glanced at the door while the rest of the students walked away “I'm lost"

“Your girlfriend's little friend, look, you can fuck whoever you want to but don't leave me to deal with their annoying friends"

“Y/N?" Hvitserk laughed “You go to class with Y/N?"

“It's not fucking funny" Ivar clenched his jaw “No matter when or where I am, she's always there and finds a way to get on my nerves"

“And here I thought you'd end up being fond of each other" Hvitserk sighed “Well, brother, sorry to break it to you but you'll have to put up with her for a little longer, I'm gonna invite Thora for dinner tomorrow"

Ivar raised his head, alarmed.

“What does that mean?"

“I need you to leave the house for a couple of hours tomorrow, or lock yourself up in your bedroom, I don't care, but I'm cooking for Thora and I'm going to have a serious conversation with her about our future and..."

His little brother's scoff interrupted him, which seemed to offend Hvitserk personally as he narrowed his eyes at him.

“That sounds too emotionally responsible for you, brother, I don't believe you"

“Mother keeps pestering me into getting in a relationship" Hvitserk rolled his eyes “She says it's time to stop... What did she call it? Yes, 'fooling around' and settle down, at least for a while, she used the fact that both Ubbe and Sigurd are already in a committed relationship"

“But if you do it I'm next" Ivar seemed to panic “She will start pestering me"

“Well, that's your problem, not mine" Hvitserk patted his back “Anyway, I like Thora, so I don't really mind... For now"

Ivar opened his mouth again, probably to throw an insult, but Erik's voice interrupted him. Hvitserk was more than familiar with the hate his brother had for Erik, so he grabbed his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down even before Ivar tensed up.

He stood silent as you talked to him, looking rather uncomfortable when he leant in to kiss you in front of everyone. Finally, you left, and Ivar started to breathe again.

“I tried to warn her" he told his brother, who hummed in amusement “But she clearly doesn't care"

“Sure, brother" he chuckled “Let's go, we have work to do"

__________________________________________

“Alfred told me Ivar made you cry today"

You raised your head to look at Elsewith, who looked focused on preparing the dinner Alfred had promised you, but you looked down again quickly, at the vegetables you were cutting.

“He didn't make me cry" you muttered, refusing to admit that his words and the tone he used with you had stung to the point of make you tear up. You wouldn't give him that kind of power “He was just plain rude and unpleasant to me, and I've been having bad days so..."

“Ivar is like that" she sighed “I don't know him very well, but from what I've heard... He's just cruel and enjoys hurting other people"

“I know, but..." you bit your lip. For a while, you truly had believed you had the power to criticise him, to be open and vocal about how unpleasant you found his and his family's existence. He clearly thought he was much better than you and wouldn't be bothered to care about an insignificant person's opinion about him. Maybe he found amusing the courage you had to tell him exactly what you thought.

“Don't think too much about it" she smiled softly at you “Forget about him, he probably already has forgotten about you" she rolled her eyes and shook her head “Anyway, did you say you've been having bad days? What's wrong?"

You looked at the kitchen door. Alfred was still in the bathroom having a nice shower after work, and you hoped he'd stay there for a bit longer, because you didn't want to talk about this in front of him. For some reason it was easier to talk about what you were feeling to people that wasn't that close to you.

“I can't find a stable job" you blurted out “I'm living off of the savings I had for when I finished university, to travel and maybe move abroad, no one wants me no matter how many jobs I apply for" you sighed “I don't know what to do, my friends are all finding partners and spending most of their time with them, I'm alone most of the day, I just sit around, glance at my notes and watch shitty movies all day, I can't do anything because I have no motivation to do anything, and I feel like I'm failing in life and stuck in the same place while everyone moves on with their lives" you took a deep breath, rubbing your eyes and trying to convince yourself that you were crying because of the onions you had just cut "So yeah, I'm having a few bad days"

Elsewith looked surprised. She left the wooden spoon on the kitchen counter and approached you slowly, trying to put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“I'm sorry, Y/N" she muttered “God, why didn't you say anything? I'm home most of the day, I could go and keep you company" she smiled at you and you sighed in defeat. You appreciated her effort, you truly did, but you wanted to be in the company of someone that actually wanted to be there with you, not because they pitied or felt sorry for you.

“I'll be fine, I just..." you took a deep breath “I see everyone falling in love and having a great life, with successful jobs, good grades, looking all nice and confident... And I'm glad for them! I truly am, but at the same time I can't stop wondering when it'll be my turn" you pouted “Does that make me a bitch and a horrible person?"

Elsewith chuckled, shaking her head as she hugged you tightly. There was something in her that resembled an older sister giving advice, and it was comforting.

“Not at all, honey" she muttered, caressing your back “It's normal to feel the pressure and to try and transform your life into the one you always wanted" she moved to look at you in the eye “You're currently in the process to get to the life you dream of, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the process"

You nodded slowly. It wasn't your intention to bother her with your problems, but you felt like you had just taken a load off your mind.

“You know? When I met Alfred it wasn't love at first sight" she moved to take a look at the dinner cooking silently inside the oven “But with time, I started noticing I would look for him every time I entered a room, I would be aware of his presence even though I couldn't see him and I would keep thinking about him when he wasn't around, it was very weird at first" she giggled “Sometimes I'd get annoyed by his mere existence because he had a power over me that I didn't like, but those feelings I had during the first days of our relationship were magical, Y/N, and I know I won't feel the same with anyone else even if we break up. You haven't experienced that just yet, and I'm actually envious of you because of that" she smiled fondly again, and all the warmth and love you could see in her eyes made you look away “So one day you'll feel that, or you'll wake up one morning in your own home and look out of the window and realise you got the life you wanted, and then you'll feel like all of this struggling was worth it" she reached to take your hand “So trust the process... And enjoy it"

You nodded slowly, and barely had time to mutter a 'thank you' before Alfred entered the kitchen, still drying his hair with a towel and dressed in more comfortable clothes than the formal attire he used to go to the office.

“Hello" he looked a bit taken aback by your teary eyes, but one glance from his girlfriend was enough to make him drop it “It smells awfully good, what are we having?"

Grateful for not having to talk about it anymore, you moved so he'd see the vegetables you were cutting and the recipe book just in front of you. Just when he tried to dip a finger in the pan where Elsewith was making the sauce, just to be slapped on his hand by the wooden spoon his girlfriend had just picked up.

Smiling softly at their bickering, you sighed again and tried to ignore the unsettling feeling in your stomach that made you want to throw up. You recognized the feeling Elsewith was talking about, but you didn't like the person that awakened it.

___________________________________

Tags:  @istorkyou​ @barnes-lothbrok​ @naaladareia​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @southernbe​ @yummycastiel​ @nothingtolosebutweight​ @noway4u​ @cdauni @heavenly1927​​ @ivarhoegh​​ @biancathecool​​ @helleiaiwritting​​ @marvelsangels​​ @ironynoticony​​ @kenyadakblalock​

[peaceisadirtyword]

Hi there, I love your new story Pull the trigger. Can’t wait to read the next part !🥰

Hello love! Thank you so so much♥️🥺 I hope you like the next parts too!

[peaceisadirtyword]

Girl, I was checking your page all day for the new chapter hahahaha can't wait to read it

aw sorryy😭 Tumblr really likes to bully me and even though I schedule the chapters every week it doesn't post them😭 so I have to do it again, sorry!

but I hope you liked it and I hope you like the next one 👀

me when I enter Tumblr and realise my scheduled draft was, once again, ignored.

[peaceisadirtyword]

Pull the Trigger IV (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello♥️ I’m so happy you guys are liking this, I swear! I know its very slow, but I’ll try to make it worth it! Thank you a thousand times for reading🫶🏼 This one is a bit shorter, but we’re slowly getting to the interesting part👀

Warnings: mentions of sex, another attempt of an argument, mentions of sexism.

Words: 2331

Read on AO3

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When Thora picked you up after a very stressful day at university and a job interview that was an absolute fail. You only felt like crying and snuggling inside your bed with your favourite teddy bear and listening to depressing songs, but Thora wasn't having it.

She assured you that she had two tickets to watch that new film you were so excited about and that she would drag you to the cinema and distract you. As you realised it had been a while since you had some alone time with your friend, you accepted.

But when you stopped in front of the Lothbrok's house, from where you could see all of Kattegat, you felt complete and utterly betrayed.

“I just need to pick something up" she reassured you “Something I forgot here yesterday, and then we'll be on our way"

“You could have picked me up afterwards" you muttered, crossing your arms and looking around. The house was built imitating the old Viking Halls, and even if it was very fitting and aesthetic, you always said you found it pretentious.

“It's raining, Y/N" Thora smiled softly “Come on, it will be just a couple of minutes, and Ivar shouldn't be home"

“Why do you think I care if that dick is here or not?" you scoffed “He can be in fucking Canada, for all I care"

Your friend smirked, but didn't say anything. She was probably thinking about all those times during the past few weeks in which you had seen Ivar, which usually had ended with you fuming and ranting about how much you hated him. In class you managed to keep calm and ignore him even when he was being a pain in the ass, but he had come to your flat a couple of times, and kept annoying you until you exploded.

When Hvitserk opened the door, a gentle smile on his lips and his green eyes shining playfully, you entered the Lothbroks house for the first time. Of course, it was big, full of wooden furniture that was probably more expensive than your entire flat. It had huge windows, and it smelled surprisingly nice. There was a burning fireplace in the living room, and the soft crackling of the fire, the dim lights and the cosy couch full of blankets made you bite your lip and clench your jaw in envy. It wasn't fair that they had that and didn't spend every single second of the day on that couch.

Thora and Hvitserk excused themselves and left you alone before you could react. Sighing and a bit relieved to know you were alone, you explored the house a bit more, not daring to go upstairs but walking around the living room, the kitchen and looking out the window to appreciate the big garden they had.

Back in the living room your eyes went to the big shelves full of books. You knew some of the titles, others were in different languages. Your eyes caught a framed picture of the five Lothbrok brothers then, and you raised an eyebrow when you spotted Ivar, smiling, relaxed and with his arm around Hvitserk's shoulders. All of them seemed to be laughing, happy and enjoying themselves. For a moment you felt a strange warmth spreading on your chest, and had the urge to smile while seeing Ivar smile.

After a moment of weakness, you mentally slapped yourself, immediately blinking a couple of times and shaking your head. Those boys were probably criminals. Spoiled, rich kids that acted like princes because they never had to worry about the money. And Ivar was a prick.

“Did you find anything interesting?"

His voice startled you. You had to cover your mouth to avoid letting out a shriek. Turning around, you found Ivar approaching you slowly, with only one crutch and dressed with sweatpants and a hoodie.

“What the fuck?" you scoffed, with your hand pressed against your chest “What are you doing here? How long have you been standing there watching me? You're creepy as fuck"

Ivar rolled his eyes, visibly amused as he glanced at the picture you had been looking at.

“I should ask you that question because you're at my house" he raised an eyebrow “And I don't remember inviting you even though you didn't hesitate to enter and start examining the entire place"

“Hvitserk invited me" you rolled your eyes, even if it wasn't actually true.

“I could withdraw that invitation and kick you out" he shrugged, amused “As you insist on being rude towards me... Apart from touching things that aren't yours"

“You and who else?" you scoffed, shaking your head “Are you going to call your bodyguard? Your dad?"

His smile faded softly when you mentioned his dad, but it was so quickly you weren't sure whether you had imagined it.

“I don't need anyone to kick you out, love"

“Then why don't you?"

“Because my mother didn't raise a savage, even if you believe otherwise, and I wouldn't leave a woman out in the rain"

“It's because you can't"

Ivar took a deep breath, visibly bothered by your exchange, and sat down on the couch with his eyes still fixed on you.

“I will if you keep being so annoying"

Rolling your eyes again, you turned around to keep examining the bookshelf. You could feel his gaze on you, and it didn't let you focus on the titles. His mere presence was enough to make you nervous and clumsy.

“So how many of these books have you read?" you asked with a fake smile plastered on your face. Ivar raised an eyebrow at you.

“Many" he shrugged “The ones that didn't bore me to death"

“Sure" you rolled your eyes “When you're not watching The Godfather you're probably reading The Great Gatsby"

That actually amused Ivar, who just shrugged and shook his head.

“I wish I had that much time, love"

You rolled your eyes again, turning around to keep looking at the books. He stayed silent, his eyes fixed on you until the sound of steps down the stairs made him look. Hvitserk and Thora entered the living room, Thora's apologetic smile faded when she saw Ivar sitting on the couch.

For some reason, she was always wary around Ivar, which you couldn't understand. He was exactly the same as his brother, the one she was hooking up with, a dog that barks too much but never bites.

“Ivar, we didn't know you were here" Hvitserk ruffled his baby brother's hair, who frowned bothered when he ruined his bun and braids “We would have come sooner"

“Can we leave now?" you asked with a sigh, pouting at Thora. She widened her eyes at you, like an adult scolding a child when they say something rude.

“Why such a rush? You were quite entertained with my brother here, weren't you?" Hvitserk chuckled "Don't mind him, he likes to get on the nerves of people"

“We have tickets for the cinema" you raised an eyebrow “And we're going to be late"

“You could stay and we could watch The Godfather" Ivar raised an eyebrow.

“No thank you, I've seen it quite a few times already" you shot him a fake smile before approaching Thora and grabbing her arm “We're leaving, say goodbye to your boyfriend"

On your way out, you'd swear you heard Ivar's chuckle.

______________________________________

“Just to be clear" Thora took a bite of her burger, not even looking at you “Hvitserk is not my boyfriend"

You rolled your eyes while you swallowed some of your food, resting your back against the chair of the restaurant in front of the cinema to which you always went after the movie.

“Of course he isn't, he's never been anyone's boyfriend"

“We're just... Getting to know each other and seeing how things go"

“You have a very strange way of saying he's using you for sex until he gets tired"

This time it was Thora's turn to roll her eyes.

“Y/N, if you gave him a chance..."

“I can't give any more chances to that family, they're all worse than I thought, annoying and..." you looked for another adjective while gripping your glass with frustration “I don't even understand why you hang out with them"

“They're nice, okay? They're quite relaxed and fun, Ubbe is really sweet, and Sigurd..."

“Ivar is everything but nice"

“I didn't mention Ivar" she sighed “Look, I don't fully trust Ivar either, he's... Different, but his brothers are okay if you give them a chance"

“He's everywhere, Thora" you groaned “I can't trust Hvitserk either, it's his brother! They were raised in the same household with the same people, they're the same! And you're starting to get attached, he's going to break your heart"

“Hvitserk is one of the best guys I've ever met" she scoffed, stealing one of your fries “He never promised me anything, he just... He's honest with me, he treats me well, and he's really good in bed... Like very good"

“I don't need to know the details" you scrunched your nose “I just know what I see, and those people are fucking weird, they're rich, I don't trust rich people"

“Hvitserk told me he would love to invite you to one of his parties... He also said Ivar was..."

“That would be a no for me" you said, shrugging.

“How are they worse than Erik?"

You gasped in disbelief.

“What's wrong with Erik?" you asked, raising an eyebrow “You were the one inviting him to that club so we'd hook up"

“Yes, but that was before I had a full conversation with him and I realised he's an idiot" Thora giggled “Honestly, I don't even know why you're hooking up with him"

You rolled your eyes, suddenly everyone in your life hated Erik for some reason.

“Ivar is arrogant, cruel, rude, full of himself and annoying, Erik is just immature and a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he's sweet to me"

“You don't even know Ivar that well to make those assumptions about him" Thora raised an eyebrow “And... I didn't mention Ivar, you are the one that is constantly bringing him up"

You opened your mouth but no words came out of it as your friend laughed, shaking her head again.

“I thought you didn't like Ivar either" you narrowed your eyes “Have you given up to his charms too?"

“No, I haven't, but Hvitserk has talked to me about Ivar and he's not as bad as we think"

“You just said you don't trust him!"

“I don't fully trust him, Y/N" she sighed “He has quite the reputation, but so does Erik, and I don't think it's fair that you judge the Lothbroks so harshly and not Erik"

“What reputation does Erik have?" you frowned “He's a fuckboy? Yes, but I don't want a relationship with him"

“People say Erik takes advantage of women, Y/N, and that he's not very nice to them, he's a misogynist and has really disgusting comments towards girls, at least Ivar does not have that reputation"

“He's never made any comment in front of me" you muttered, biting your lip.

“Because if he ever did you wouldn't hook up with him anymore, he knows it" Thora scoffed “Anyway, I think you're wasting your time with him because he's a fucking idiot, and you deserve someone way better"

You finished your food in silence. It was always the same thing ‘you deserve someone better’, but who was better? How would you know who was the one?.

“You're overthinking now, aren't you?"

Groaning, you rubbed your eyes.

“I really don’t want to talk about it”

She sighed, letting her fork on her plate before looking at you.

“We’re just worried about you, I feel like you’re trying to run away from something by being with Erik, and I’m scared you’ll end up hurt, that’s all”

“Who’s we?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Your friends” Thora reached to grab your hand “You know, Alfred, Ingrid, Astrid, me…”

You looked away. Yes, you appreciated their concern and support,  but they all had a partner or something similar… Except for Ingrid, but she was very happy fooling around with anyone she wanted.

“I know that, I just… Don’t understand why you guys are so worried about Erik and don’t see the Lothbroks as worse”

She groaned and threw her head back on an exaggerated, desperate sigh. It almost made you laugh.

“Just be careful, Y/N” she smiled softly, practically giving up “I am careful myself, too”

That night she rewarded you for accompanying her to the Lothbroks’ house by staying up with you until midnight, watching a couple of episodes of your favourite tv series and not bringing up any of the men that were making you lose sleep in one way or another. In fact, she turned her phone off, which helped because there was nothing more annoying than seeing Hvitserk’s name on her screen constantly. Of course Ivar wasn’t brought up at any moment, but you still thought about the pictures you had seen of him.

One of them, with the brothers as little boys in their enormous backyard enjoying the snow, had grabbed your attention. Ivar wasn’t difficult to spot. You had been surprised to see his hair was way lighter than it was now. He was in a small wheelchair, barely smiling as his brothers gathered around him, smiling widely at the camera. Their half-brother Björn had been with them, younger and not looking as serious and intimidating as he was now. And then his picture smiling with Hvitserk… He actually didn’t look as intimidating and tough as he tried to look, he almost looked like a normal guy having a picture with his brothers.

Eventually, you fell asleep. It was almost three in the morning when you finally were able to close your eyes without seeing two blue orbs staring right back at you.

________________________________

Tags:  @istorkyou @barnes-lothbrok @naaladareia @youbloodymadgenius @southernbe @yummycastiel @nothingtolosebutweight @noway4u @cdauni @heavenly1927​ @ivarhoegh​ @biancathecool​ @helleiaiwritting​ @marvelsangels​ @ironynoticony​

[peaceisadirtyword]

I AGREE he’s so annoying I can’t stand him buuuut Ivar is here so no worries♥️

Pull the trigger II (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello! This is the second chapter to the new fic♥️ thank you so much for reading and for all the nice comments you’ve sent!🫶🏼

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, a small argument, ableist comments, a bit of jealousy maybe?

Words: 2632

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read it on AO3

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