#sorry censoring just to stop it showing up in the tags

[bi-chimneyy]

not an rpf shipper but as far as rpf goes... r*liver is just mid tier, no fandom history even

[sateurn]

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

These sobs really limited my tags?????

I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike

[peggycatrerr]

I hate to tell you this but both your asks about ofmd are in fact in the ofmd tag cause tumblr is wack and puts posts that even mention something in the tags in the main tag. so that’s probably how people are seeing it (I don’t usually engage with stuff like this but I saw you asking why that person found it so I thought I’d let you know, I often see stuff in main tags that I know was meant to just be a personal rant and I always wonder if people making those posts know that the fandom can see them) ok ramble over sorry that was long

you see the solution to this is to make sure you actually go to the tag instead of just searching for the word as a search

[lightseoul]

CHAPTER 4 | ALL OUT OF LUCK

w.c. 5.0k (can you see the trend)

tags. fem!reader, pro-hero!katsuki, aged-up (26), still a lot of cussing, some mature themes (no smut, sorry), we're finally in the headquarters!, the story moves significantly along here (i think)

a/n. this one took a second to get out, but i hope the wait was worth it! we're going knee-deep into the storyline, so brace yourselves for the nitty gritty. the dialogue here was too fun to write tho lol

links. masterlist, ao3 (coming soon)

Neither of you says anything about what happened.

After you used your quirk on Masaki and the rest of his crew, eventually convincing them to let you take off the bugs and censor the cameras in the evenings, you and Bakugou were briefed about a few more details before you went your separate ways, returning home to pack up your things and spend your last night alone for the foreseeable future.

The trek back to the subway station was quiet, with Bakugou leading the way and you trailing a few feet behind. The silence that enveloped the both of you bordered on tense more than awkward, and you itched to confront him about unceremoniously jumping you, but restrained yourself at the looming thought of the trackers planted firmly against your chest.

As much as it pained you to think about it, from this point on, you have to work double time on biting your tongue and watching your words. Just your words and location—if you’re lucky—but your facial expressions and movements, too, when there are cameras around.

Fortunately, there weren’t any when Bakugou didn’t step out of the carriage just as the automated voice announced his stop, nor when he wordlessly got out of the train beside you at yours. Your face contorted in evident confusion in those two instances, to which he only tossed you silencing looks. It didn’t take long for you to realize it’d be suspicious if Bakugou didn’t see you home—his alleged girlfriend—this late into the night.

And so you rolled with it.

You even went ahead and thanked him with the sweetest possible voice you can muster when you reached your front door, as well as wished him a safe trip back home. You think you caught him off guard, but he was able to quickly gather himself and mutter back a few words of gratitude before telling you to get a good night’s rest.

You couldn’t.

Aside from the paranoia that came with knowing someone or some people were listening to your very breathing, the anxiety about this whole mess that you’ve walked into was too palpable for you just to ignore. You tossed and turned for what felt like hours—brain buzzing with a hundred what-ifs and hypothetical scenarios—before you eventually knocked out at around 3 AM.

You promptly woke up at 7 AM a few hours later, albeit begrudgingly and all thanks to your bothersome alarm tone. You had to show up at work, despite it being a Saturday, to file an indefinite leave as soon as possible. Annoyance shot through you as you remembered Kouki’s dismissive remark about your job in contrast to Bakugou’s.

You shook it off.

There were more important things to deal with, such as the guilt that bloomed in your gut as you turned in the paperwork to Yuzuki, your school’s HR personnel, who, at the sight of them, visibly deflated.

“You’re going on a leave?” she asked that cool morning, incredulous and tone somewhat begging you to say no.

“Yeah…” you replied, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly.

“But why?” she pressed, sitting up behind her desk that’s riddled with knickknacks and picture frames of her and her toddler. “You never take off from work. And,” she enunciated, “…the kids need you, Y/N.”

Your polite smile faltered at the mention of the kids.

“Yeah, well…” you started, unsure of what to say next. “I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding a temp, what with the recent licensure exam results. The kids won’t even notice I’m gone, I promise.”

She cocked her head to the side, frowning. “I highly doubt that.”

It didn’t matter if she had her doubts, though, because this was happening. You braced yourself to tell Yuzuki just that, but to your relief, she didn’t push further after that exchange, opting to half-heartedly process your request instead.

By the time lunchtime rolled around, you were already cleared by her department and now officially on a short indefinite leave without pay.

In an attempt to take your mind off of potentially losing your job, you stopped by the grocery store on your way home and picked up a few items, such as toiletries and other things you may need for your stay in the headquarters. There was no telling when you’d get to shop for your necessities again, so you went full ham and spent the money you usually budgeted meticulously to the nearest cent. Besides, if you succeeded in this mission, you wouldn’t have to worry about finances for the next year, at the very least.

You were about to head to the check-out counter when your eyes caught the display of…house slippers in the back aisle.

You paused at the sight of them.

If you were going to be under house arrest, you might as well be cozy while doing so.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you grabbed a beige pair for yourself, and a black pair for Bakugou. You had no idea what his feet size was, but those were the largest they carried, and so that’d have to do. Plus, you doubted quirk supremacists were mindful enough to provide their hostages with comfortable footwear.

It was already around 4 PM when you arrived home with your arm-numbing groceries and takeout dinner in tow. Setting them aside by your kitchen counter, you quickly got started on gathering your necessities. You blasted your favorite album as you packed your suitcase partly to make the arduous process more bearable, but mostly to drown out the voices that fought to take the reins in your head. You were nervous—very much so—but there was no going back from this.

And so with a heavy heart and a churning stomach, you swiftly got to work, and by dinner time, you were already packed up and ready to go. After going through your checklist one more time and confirming that everything was accounted for, you got changed into fresh, more appealing clothes and scarfed down the meal you purchased to-go after shopping.

You sat in your living room with all your things stacked beside you on the couch, waiting, though it didn’t take long for Kouki to materialize by the kitchen with that irritatingly haughty expression on his face.

You tried to ignore the disgust that sprung as you watched him step on your freshly washed rug with his booted feet, choosing to shift your attention upwards instead. You observed him as he eyed your belongings with mild disinterest, before shifting to regard you.

“Ready?” he asked, holding up one hand for you to take, while the other moved to touch the pile of stuff.

You didn’t bother to verbalize your consent, resorting to just nodding as you gingerly took his hand. Your surroundings instantly morphed the moment that you did, and you found yourself going through the now-familiar motions, emerging smack dab in the middle of your floor’s hallway a few seconds later.

Kouki was gone just as quickly as he arrived, apparently way above helping you move your things to the space at the end of the hall. The same goes for the twins, who only watched you as you lugged your baggage into the room.

You locked eyes with the female guard, and for a second, you debated engaging her in conversation.

You already knew what to say. You’d ask her if they were sure about you staying in, when Kouki can just teleport you to your respective apartments at the end of each day if they’re so worried about you getting spotted.

Besides, you thought as she glared at you with seemingly unfounded hate, that means we’ll be out of your hair.

But as tempting as it was to bring up that alternative at the moment, you ultimately thought better against it.

You already used your luck to convince them to turn off the trackers at night—something they probably wouldn’t do if you and Bakugou lived outside due to the lack of backup surveillance. It simply wouldn’t be smart and cautious of them if they did. You also didn’t want to undo that already tall order of a bargain when what you needed the most was the privacy in which you could discuss the mission and steps moving forward.

Besides, you bet your money it’s not just that. The teleportation quirk of that old geezer has to have a limitation somehow…

You let all these simmer in your head as you settled in for the night. To your chagrin—you wanted at least one night where you get to sleep on the decent-looking bed—Bakugou showed up not an hour later with his own luggage.

You didn’t say anything to each other aside from brief ‘Hey’s’ as he entered the room and unpacked his belongings, as well as when he disappeared into the small comfort room and showered.

You decided then and there that you both had to work on your conversing skills if you wanted a shot at making this ruse believable for the sake of the mission.

By the time he stepped out of the bathroom, decked out in lounge clothes and haphazardly drying his ash-blonde hair with a towel, it was already 8 PM sharp—your agreed-upon time to retreat for the night and consequently, remove your trackers.

And so you wordlessly filed out of your room, only to see the twins already at your front door, waiting. You doubted they ever left their post ever since you arrived.

You eyed the male twin as he sashayed into your room before his sister called you to attention. Other than that, the exchange was nothing but silent and perhaps a little bit hostile as the woman roughly stuck her hand up Bakugou’s shirt then yours, similar to last time, and removed the devices. You fought back a wince just as she ripped it from your skin, leaving a stinging feeling in its wake.

You could tell she was resisting the urge to shove you back to your room when the deed was done. You didn’t want to risk being her punching bag, so with a curt nod, you promptly turned back and once again entered the room, with Bakugou following you just as the other twin exited and closed the door behind him. Looking up, you immediately registered how the cameras were now facing down—covered—and the red, flickering lights were nowhere to be seen.

An instantaneous wave of relief flooded through you.

Bakugou must’ve noticed, because he whipped to face you, and the disturbed expression on his face was enough to shut you up.

He tilted his head, perhaps gesturing to the rest of the room, and it took you a second, but you eventually managed to make out what he was trying to say.

Shut your trap, his icy stare told you. Check the room for bugs.

And so with a nod of understanding, you tossed him a look right back before quite literally turning the room upside down. It probably took you at least 10 minutes to uncover and check every surface, nook, and cranny, but by the time you both were pretty sure you were safe, you were already stifling a yawn.

And having a hawk eye must come with the job description, because that didn’t go unmissed by the pro-hero, who wordlessly took one of the two pillows from the bed, as well as the throw blanket on top of the actual duvet cover, before tossing both on the brown couch.

You were just about to thank him for preparing your ‘bed’ for you, but you didn’t get to, because you were very much robbed of all words when he plopped himself down on the couch, wrapping himself with the quilt.

“What are you—”

“Don’t argue,” he cut you off, his commanding tone comically juxtaposing how snug he looked with his head barely peeking out of the cloth. You’d laugh at the way his large feet were poking out at the end of it if you weren’t in a contentious mood.

You frowned. “You’re the guest of honor. I should be the one sleeping on the couch.”

“If it bothers you that much—” Bakugou piped from where he laid comfortably on the (p)leather furniture, “—we can take turns. Tomorrow, I get to sleep on the bed, and so on.”

“But—”

“Conversation’s over. ‘Night.”

With that, Bakugou flipped on his side, turning his back against you, effectively shooting the conversation down in its entirety.

You stood there for what felt like a couple more minutes, keen on shaking him awake, maybe even yanking him off the couch and planting yourself on it before he could wrap his head around what was happening, but you ultimately decided to let it go, at least for now.

You wished him a good night as you turned off the lights and snuck into the queen-sized bed a few moments later, although you bet he was already fast asleep based on the lack of a reply.

Which was good for him, because he needed the rest for what was about to crash into you the next day.

Apparently, Masaki wasn’t kidding when he said groups like theirs needed the space to conduct their activities, because they sure handle a lot.

At 8 AM, you were roused awake by a violent knocking on your door, and you could tell Bakugou was awoken by the very same thing, because he shot up in alarm just as you did. You quickly got up and padded to the entryway, trying to ignore the silly embarrassment of being seen in your threadbare pajamas in broad daylight, before whipping to look at the man. You didn’t have to say it, though—Bakugou was already grabbing his pillow and blanket and plopped into the bed, lying down as if he was there the entire night. Only when he was fully settled did you turn the knob open, only to see the female twin scowling at you. Her hand was held up, on top of which were two trackers.

“It’s breakfast time,” she spat out—literally, some of her saliva landing on you. She looked over your shoulder to glare at Bakugou. “Hurry up and get ready. You’ve got a full day ahead of you.”

Behind you, a distinct grumble sounded out across the room, and you glanced back to see Bakugou getting up from the mattress and folding his blanket, a deep frown etched on his sharp features.

Looks like someone’s a morning person, you thought to yourself.

Not wanting to aggravate her even further, you wasted no time in getting dressed and presentable enough. You debated on whether or not to spend five minutes putting on makeup, ultimately deciding to do so, with you ending up patting on just enough product to look eye-catching before you and Bakugou went down to the mess hall to eat breakfast.

Immediately upon entering the space, you found yourself thankful for that extra five minutes because all eyes were on you. Well, maybe more on Bakugou, but they inevitably drifted to you, the person who walked next to him side by side. You could hear the people whisper to themselves as you moved to sit at the table near the back, before it hit you and you froze.

“What?” asked Bakugou from across you, who followed suit and paused, butt hanging mid-air.

“Come and sit next to me,” you blurted out, and before he could react in a way that would incriminate you both: “I want to sit beside you, babe.”

Bakugou’s eyes widened ever so minutely at the pet name, his face then sobering up as if he just realized what you were trying to do.

You wished you could spell it out for him, that couples tend to sit next to each other rather than across, and…you needed to seem like one who is head over heels for each other around these people as well. Thankfully, you didn’t have to, because Bakugou merely nodded without question, before rounding the table and seating himself right next to you.

You did your best to tune out the looks and murmuring throughout the entire meal, after which you got swept to one of the halls for an introductory talk for the new members. There were eleven of you in total, including you and Bakugou, the rest of whom you didn’t recognize. They didn’t even hide their surprise and awe when the two of you walked in and sat yourselves at the farthest row beside each other. You tried to radiate an aura of friendliness, smiling at the others when they looked at you, and then beaming at Bakugou whenever you caught him looking your way.

You could tell he was having a hard time playing the part, his smile strained whenever he attempted to return the motion. It was probably after the third time of trying to get a reaction from him when you mustered the courage to bring a hand to his shoulder, kneading the muscle as a form of an affectionate gesture, but mainly to get him to relax. He initially tensed at the contact, but eventually loosened up as you continued the action.

Soon enough, the talk commenced, with someone you didn’t know presenting himself as Kazuma, one of the officers of the organization. He went on to formally introduce the association, named The Quirk Coalition, as a group of like-minded individuals who aim for a future where quirks are nurtured and fostered to their fullest potential in a democratic society that puts a primacy on said powers. You noted how they conveniently left out the part where they detest the weak and the quirkless, although you did not comment on it. You only glanced at Bakugou one time, who looked onto the stage with tight lips.

Kazuma also went through the hierarchy of the organization, starting with Masaki at the top just as you suspected, then Sayaka and Kouki, followed by Hiroto and Omiru—the two who you recognized as the twins, looking like they just got their mugshot taken in the photos. Kazuma sat there at the lower tier alongside several other officers, under which were the regular members, totaling about 70—some of whom live in the headquarters and most going in and out, having normal jobs during the day and families to tend to.

You don’t know how they got it, but at the bottom row of the chart was a picture of you, right beside Bakugou dressed in his full hero gear.

You let the reality sink in as Kazuma droned on about the group’s beliefs, how they equally valued their ideals and the people who carried out these ideals. You made a mental note of this piece of information, before accidentally zoning out for the rest of the lecture.

The next seven days went on roughly the same way, with either of the twins serving as your unfriendly alarm to demonstrating PDA in the mess hall during breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with talks, history classes, support group sessions, and even quirk training nestled in between mealtimes.

You and Bakugou went through every single thing together, from sitting out the ‘classes’ where the teachers essentially waxed poetic about rewritten history with a strong bias against the quirkless, to attending what felt like group therapy where you each took turns sharing your ambitions and goals as members of the organization. Bakugou even partook in one of the quirk training sessions, wherein he practiced shooting precise targets while propelling himself in the air.

You couldn’t decide if he was trying to act all serious for the mission or was just showing off—could’ve been both, really, but regardless, his efforts were enough to catch the eyes of the fellow members working on their respective quirks. You, on the other hand, sat to the side and watched the pro-hero do his thing, not being able to ‘practice’ anything without a partner to ‘boost’—or really, manipulate.

Needless to say, you’ve both been busting your ass pretending to be eager, dedicated members, but aside from the information readily provided in the forums, you haven’t had much luck extracting details that could prove to be useful for the mission, a fact that you’re now planning to bring up with Bakugou, a full week into moving into the headquarters…

…After you finish checking the bedroom for bugs.

It’s become some sort of an unspoken nightly routine for the both of you. The second the door shuts behind you after the trackers have been taken off and you’ve checked that the cameras are pointed downwards, capped, and are not blinking anymore, you go to your respective halves of the room and thoroughly check each inch for a wiretap. Neither of you dare to say anything compromising until you’ve completed the survey, and even then you’ve telepathically agreed to watch your choice of words.

Still, you can’t deny the familiar sense of reprieve whenever this time of the day comes along, and you’ve since associated these moments with Bakugou with comfort.

Which is probably why you have the audacity to joke around.

“Are they comfy?” you ask just as you plaster your butt down into the couch. You’ve had your fun yesterday, sleeping easily in the soft bed. You watch Bakugou as he eyes you warily, sitting on the edge of the mattress, facing you.

He huffs, crossing his legs. “Are what comfy?”

You point to his feet with your lips. “The slippers. They were buy one take one, you know.”

At that, he smirks. You can’t help but feel your own smile growing.

“I don’t think that’s something you should be bragging about, princess.”

Flying right past the tail end of that sentence for your sanity, you force a frown on your face. “Why not? It was a great deal. And, I’m sure yours are comfy. Mine are.”

He leans back on his hands that are firmly planted at his sides. He’s still smirking. “So why bother asking me in the first place if you already knew the answer to the question?”

You open your mouth to retort a witty comment, but come up short. Bakugou’s smirk morphs into a grin when you do. You wrinkle your nose in disdain, “I was just trying to make small talk. You’re welcome, by the way.”

The pro-hero only chuckles at that, before sitting up and bringing his hands forward, one holding and wringing the other arm’s wrist.

You study him for a beat, and then the cameras, which are still turned down and capped with a lens cover.

And when he only continues the rotating motion, you finally speak up.

“…What are we gonna do now?”

Bakugou’s eyes shift upward from his wrist to look at you, the softness that was just in his gaze a second ago now replaced by his trademark caution. You try not to focus on the disappointment of having caused that, as well as the misplaced longing for what was once there.

It takes him a while to reply, his features contorted into a look of deep thought. But when he does so, he straightens his back. “We—”

A barrage of heavy knocks resounds from the door, startling both of you and cutting Bakugou off. It’s immediately followed by a gruff voice, which you can now easily recognize as Hiroto’s.

“You’re not making any noise,” comes his bite, although it’s slightly muffled. “You better think twice about planning something behind our backs, you two.”

You roll your eyes. You understand any hostility coming from the members, as you and Bakugou come with risks that can potentially harm the organization that they hold dearly. But even you can say that the twins are taking it a bit too far with the harsh treatment.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think their being extra hard on you has something to do with Masaki agreeing with the off-surveillance.

“Fucking relax,” Bakugou seethes in their direction. “Just because we’re not audibly having sex doesn’t mean we’re talking shit.”

You snort. Bakugou whips to look at you, the corners of his lips upturned.

That seems to put a plug on Hiroto, because the man doesn’t say anything after that. Once again, you’re met with silence, with you and Bakugou sitting on your respective furniture, looking at anything but each other.

It’s him, though, who finally breaks it a few minutes later with a clear of his throat.

“We keep at it—” Bakugou starts carefully, “—is what I was trying to say earlier. They’re gonna discuss the plans with us sooner than later.”

…Patience, huh?

You can do that.

Nodding, you adjust your position on your seat. You don’t dare to ask him to expound or add your own thoughts on the matter. Better to be safe than sorry, even though you’re pretty sure your room is free of bugs.

So instead, you finally give in and steer the conversation to something that’s been plaguing your mind ever since the commission kidnapped you a little over a week ago.

“Bakugou,” you begin, and he looks at you expectantly. You gulp. “Can I ask you something?”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “Depends on the question.”

“…So might as well shoot your shot,” he finishes when you don’t say anything.

Well, then.

You blurt it out before you can talk yourself out of it.

“Don’t get me wrong, alright? I know you’re strong and all that. But…” you trail off, fixing your eyes on him, “Why did they specifically want you of all heroes?”

Almost instantly, Bakugou’s smug expression is wiped off his face just as it falls.

You scramble to backtrack.

“Sorry if that’s too invas—”

“Are you sure we were batchmates?” he cuts you off, a brow raised in question. “Back in UA?”

You stare at him. Where is he going with this?

“Yeah?” you reply, not at all willing to try and jog his memory with the only prominent exchange between the two of you. So instead, you toss the query back at him: “Why?”

“Because if we were, you would’ve heard about the rumors about me, unless they weren’t as widespread as I thought.”

You feel your brows furrow. “Rumors?”

He peers at you for what feels like an eternity, before shaking his head in what you think is resignation. His body language has changed drastically, you note—the distinct confidence from earlier now long gone, having been replaced with…shame?

He heaves a deep breath.

“I was a bully,” he finally declares, meeting your gaze. “I bullied someone for being quirkless. I guess you could say I had a…” he hesitates, as if he’s trying to filter his words,” …certain mindset up until late into our first year.”

He shakes his head again, which is now bowed down toward the floor. “I did some pretty…awful stuff, to say the least.”

And before you can say anything, he beats you to it. “And don’t ask me about what I did.”

“I wasn’t going to,” comes your speedy response. That causes him to look up again and at you, a surprised look written on his face.

“Well, that’s a first.”

“I don’t have to know,” you reason, schooling your features into a neutral, even sincere expression. “Besides, I can clearly see there’s remorse. There’s no need to reopen that can of worms, especially if you’ve tried to make amends.”

You pause, eyeing him. “Have you?”

He tosses you a look of offense, as if you just accused him of being a serial killer. “Of course. And he’s forgiven me. What do you take me for?”

“Someone who feels remorse—” you chuckle, “—just like I said.”

He shoots you a glare, although it’s playful and has no bite to it. “Smartass.”

You grin at him. “I am smart, aren’t I?”

Bakugou doesn’t verbalize his agreement, but he doesn’t deny it either. Instead, he turns the table on you.

“You’re a guidance counselor, aren’t you? You use your quirk on your clients?”

You gasp, insulted. That grants you a smirk from him. “No! Of course, not. What do you take me for?”

He shrugs, “What? It makes sense to me.”

“So should this thing called ethics, which I follow and is very important, especially for people like me who work in the mental health field.”

That doesn’t seem to convince him. “Why’re you in this field, then? If not for its compatibility with your quirk?”

You think about it for a beat.

“I guess you can say my quirk did play a part in all of this, but not as my crutch,” you eventually explain. “Using it made me realize how much I like making people feel and do better, which is something that I now do with evidence-based techniques as a counselor. Plus, my job trains me in identifying emotions, which, you know…”

—helps with maximizing your quirk.

But you don’t say it out loud for fear of getting exposed, and it seems like that’d be unnecessary, because understanding flashes across Bakugou’s eyes. He nods, and that’s all you need to know he gets what you’re leaving unsaid.

“That’s a pretty noble cause,” he offers, although it comes out a bit awkward.

Still, you flash him a genuine smile. He looks away.

…Right at the wall clock, which now reads a little too late o’clock.

“You should get some sleep,” says Bakugou just as you are about to tell him the very same thing.

And when you don’t respond: “Are you sure you wanna sleep on the couch?”

‘What, are you proposing we share the bed?’

…Is what you would say if you were a fucking lunatic, which you’re glad you aren’t, because you don’t know how you’d survive this hell of a mission if you were.

Instead, you nod, shooting him a grateful look as you move to lay back and drape the blanket over your body. “Bask in the luxury of a proper mattress, your highness.”

You don’t get to see his reaction anymore in your new position, but you bet your cheap but surprisingly ergonomic slippers that he’s grinning with the way he snorts loudly.

“Stupid.”

˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 feel free to drop an ask, too—i'd love to chat with you. have a nice day!

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[meguchi512]

assigning behaviors I've noticed in people to pjsk characters:

tsukasa: writes his name EVERYWHERE. his desk at school has "tsukasa" "tsukasa" "tsukasa" "tsukasa" written all over it, his notebooks too and even his classmates' notebooks (from a classmate)

shizuku: says "oh, madonna!" instead of "oh god" (from my italian grandpa)

saki: tsukasa rides a bike and saki sits on the handlebar & every time they have to stop they fall off but they just get up and go on like nothing's happened (from an old friend)

mizuki: accidentally sends "penis shaped messages" and immediately points it out (me)

ena: is so fucking done with mizuki's penis messages (my friends)

kanade: "uhh i think I'm forgetting something? oh well it probably wasn't important" hasn't drank water since yesterday (me again)

rui: extremely verbose, to the point where everyone around him thinks he's some sort of philosophical genius but in reality he's just saying dumb shit and articulating it intelligently (my italian grandpa again so sorry)

an: sends her friends "hot milfs in your area" messages pretending to be a bot because silly and immediately gets banned ( @robinoullea literally)

airi: wants to be supportive but types way too quickly ( @robinoullea trying to say "10/10")

emu: says the most deranged things in roblox chats and manages to not get censored while her friend (nene) can't even go one sentence without "########" ( @harukaisu )

nene, trying to tell tsukasa to reset his roblox avatar because he got stuck: uhhh kill yourself (me) (I'M SO SORRY)

minori: tries to download a pin and accidentally sends it to a random person and dies of embarrassment (everyone. no one is safe from Pinterest's AWFUL interface)

ichika: goes into a store. gets an ingredient. goes back home. goes back. gets an ingredient. goes back home. repeat until she's got everything to make dinner when it's already 11pm (my forgetful mom)

mafuyu: has the most DERANGED dreams I'm not even kidding ( @robinoullea when he had that one dream where he sent me a tiktok meme of Richard Watterson saying the names of popular pornstars with them flashing on screen for a second each. I've cried real tears about this btw)

kohane: has a chicken farm in minecraft but she's so attached to them that she can't kill any of them for food so they just keep reproducing and in turn the server keeps getting laggier. eventually a creeper explodes right next to it and she throws herself off a mountain (me)

haruka: uses the default pfp which is also the pfp that shows when you get blocked by someone. she also turns her phone off often (which causes messages to not get sent until it's on) so minori always panics and sends her messages to make sure she's not blocked (classmate)

akito: makes gagging noises on purpose because it makes ena gag too and get VERY annoyed and he finds it funny (classmate)

toya: unintentionally causes a lot of fights in vbs regarding what the best way to make coffee is (my whole friend group) (except me i do it on purpose)

honami: whenever someone tags her in l/n's group chat she heroically says "who calls for my help?" ( @robinoullea )

shiho: doesn't have the heart to tell honami how funny it is when she does that (not me i always make sure to mention it)

[ratasum]

Ugh okay. Some thoughts. I have specifically tagged this as soto critical so that if you enjoyed it, you know what you're getting into. These are my opinions. If you enjoyed it I genuinely am thrilled for you, no sarcasm at all, but my usual disclaimer remains that I did not. I'm not gonna come at you or attack you for enjoying it, I promise; we all have different opinions and that is good and valid.

(Not that I hated it entirely; I actually love a lot about it. I just was not thrilled with everything in the end.)

I've also specifically censored names so they don't show up in those characters tags to the best of my ability.

First I'd like to go over what I actually really did enjoy:

The new maps are visually stunning. I'm on the fence about the heavy reliance on Skyscales, but they're creative and interesting to look at and fun to explore.

Love P*itha (though not like that I just think she's Neat I need to clarify that) and the Krypt*s. Really wish we could've spent a lot more time digging into the power structure there but I like that they think WE'RE the ugly ones.

I've been gnawing on the shadiness and cult-like nature of the Astr*l Ward since the jump and am really hopeful their behavior gets treated with the gravity it genuinely deserves.

It was nice to see Z*jja again, even if my opinion of how she was handled is... well. We'll get to that below.

The W*zard Vault is a HUGE improvement over the daily system, don't @ me. Love being able to spend my fun bucks on whatever I want whenever I want without being bogged down in "ugh it's x days until I can get clovers or a tome."

I'm keeping R'tch*kk, Glade, and Z*zel. Fr*de too. And L*hr. No one can stop me.

All that being said...

Glad they admitted they bit off FAR too much. SotO felt too big for its britches after the first drop, and what could've been really interesting things got shoved into closets and out windows to make way to hurry along to the next beat. Everything was equal parts rushed and a slog, lore buried in journal and hidden text over and over and over. The pacing was absurd.

To say nothing about how miserably they flubbed Z*jja's story. What could've been a really interesting dive into what she went through as she maybe journeyed into and through Nay*s with us, her going through a will she won't she until deciding in the end that maybe ascension was the best option? Nothing. Hurriedly mind wiped off screen before the second drop even hit and shoved completely out of the narrative with barely any relevance to the story as it stood, despite how loudly anet banged the pots and pans of how super big and important her arc was.

You literally could replace her with a lamp and it would change practically nothing about the story. She wasn't even relevant to the greater story at all. Why was she even there?

To say nothing about those really juicy drops of how shady the Astral Ward was, between the bits in the fractals, G*lrath's threat, the "something has gone wrong" status effect at the end of the third drop, and none of that was followed through on.

And I say this as someone who loved the first drop immensely, liked what we were seeing, was genuinely intrigued... and then nothing.

I really wish we could've either stuck with the ward, or had the ward be barely introduced before being tossed into Nay*s and spending most of our time there so that we didn't have all this setup that felt like it dangled.

I'm glad to see they took the criticisms on the pacing and story content to heart, though, and maybe it'll improve. Still feeling a bit stung, and there's a LOT I'm still planning on rewriting (gonna tweak some stuff with the knowledge we'll be addressing the ward again... hopefully. Z*jja's still not there though sorry not sorry anet).

I'll remain cautiously optimistic in the meantime.

[kinnbig]

worst part of fanon

edit: censored to (hopefully) stop this showing up in the tag 😵‍💫

10 - worst part of fanon

CH*NBIG 🫣

no okay. so the thing that makes me saddest is that Ch*nBig has soooo much potential!!! but fanon Ch*nBig just misses for me because there’s this insistence on making it romantic! imo it will never be well-characterised because (unless it’s set super post-canon in an “everyone lives” AU), to make Ch*nBig a romantic relationship you have to strip Big of one of his core traits and the motivation for most of his actions in the show - the fact that he’s in love with Kinn. it just doesn’t work for me to just take that away and pair him up with someone else, because it’s so so central to who Big is as a character.

that’s not to say that Big being in love with Kinn would mean he could never have any kind of sex life with anyone else - I write KenBig friends-with-benefits and messy feelings! I’ve rambled about VegasBig! I think there’s soooo much potential for messy, toxic Ch*nBig - Big fucking Chan because he knows it’s the closest he’ll ever get to Kinn… Chan taking advantage of his position of power and Big's unwavering loyalty, because he knows Big would never refuse an order… Chan knowing as Big drops to his knees that he's wishing it was Kinn who had ordered it… 👀 hell yeah! I love that concept!!

but I get frustrated with fanon Ch*nBig being all romance and daddy kink (oh god don’t get me started on the daddy kink) lmao 🫣

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

EDIT: sorry omg I did not mean for this to show up in the tag!!! I deliberately didn’t tag it because obviously I didn’t want this in the ship tag so idk why it has anyway!! :/ I’m gonna censor and hopefully that’ll fix it rip sorry

[foreststranger]

READ FIRST -͟͟͞☆

MASTERLIST HERE ☆

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟABOUT ME -͟͟͞☆

hi! my name is amy/cheng wei (成唯), i go by she/her/hers, i’m 13 (my birthday is in june), and i’m a silly little fanfic writer. it doesn’t matter to me which name you use. if 成唯，阿唯，小唯，唯唯， etc. is easier for you to use, idm. if amy is easier for you, idm either.

i mostly write for honkai: star rail though i might write a few genshin related things here and there.

please request me to write something! i love writing (despite me abandoning projects all the time). now doing commissions as well if you wanna pay for my genshin and hsr funds…

i usually don’t proofread my work bc i’m too scared to read it, so forgive me for spelling/grammar errors and nonsensical lines.

“I'm Lynx, a Snow Plains Development Consultant. Though... I prefer exploring the vastness of the Snow Plains rather than solving problems in the city. The brisk weather can always stimulate your vim and vigor... Ah, sorry, I get distracted when thinking of all the possibilities hidden in the snow.”

↳ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛʟʏ, ɪ ᴀᴍ:

⛰︎ thinking abt lynx

⛰︎ working on an il dan heng & child reader request

(ɪɴ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ᴘʀɪᴏʀɪᴛʏ)

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟDO NOT INTERACT -͟͟͞☆

↳ ᴅɴɪ (ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ)

⛰︎ basic DNI list

(homophobia, transphobia, racism, etc.)

⛰︎ accs with NSFW names (you can still read my stuff but don’t like, reblog, follow, etc.)

you’re fine if you have a nsfw pfp bc tumblr auto censors 👍👍

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ TAGS -͟͟͞☆

#.forestfics​​​ ☆

↳ fanfics

​#.forestreqs​​ ☆

↳ requests

#.forestthings​​​ ☆

↳ other

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ REQUESTS -͟͟͞☆

↳ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴜɴᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ:

𑁍 character x character ships (unfortunately i only write x readers lol)

𑁍 pedophilic relationships

𑁍 anything with content I deem problematic/am not comfortable with

(kidnapping/yandere themes, the promotion of homophobia, transphobia, racism, and general bigotry, etc.)

𑁍 excessive gore

𑁍 NSFW (of the smutty kind, though there might be some ‘suggestive’ content)

if you send a request that i’m not comfortable fulfilling, I’ll let you know.

↳ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ:

𑁍 genshin and hsr stuff

𑁍 romantic and platonic x readers

𑁍 canon x oc

𑁍 angst, trauma, character death, etc.

(excluding SA and anything incredibly graphic)

𑁍 and more!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ COMMISSIONS -͟͟͞☆

↳ ʙᴀꜱɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛꜱ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ?

𑁍 i get paid via in game currencies

𑁍 you get a proofread fanfic with a lot more effort than a typical request

𑁍 more words/content (i.e, texts and such)

𑁍 your commission takes priority over all of my other projects (AKA I’M NOT GIVING UP ON YOUR FIC. EVEN IF BURNOUT GETS TO ME)

𑁍 that’s it lol

contact me via dms for commissions, rates, etc. however, as a standard, my rate is around $6.79-6.99 CAD/$5-5.16 USD (300 genesis crystals/300 oneiric shards) for every 700~ words. if you need help with how to pay, i can show you. ofc you don’t have to commission me but i’m getting desperate bc i need dan heng and then i need lynx and then there’s topaz and her little dog thing and jingliu and argenti and huohuo and then genshin’s hitting me with neuvillette AND wriothesley IN THE SAME PATCH pls i’ve never been more desperate for pixels. #commercializingyourhobbies. don’t feel pressured to commission me btw, little pixel people in my screen are luxuries, not necessities. i jst rlly want them.

my hsr uid for payment: 601912597 america server

my genshin uid for payment: 629711011 america server

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟMISC. -͟͟͞☆

↳ Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀꜱ:

Q: how long will it take for you to complete a request?

A: requests are my favourite things to do so usually i’ll stop working on whatever i’m doing to focus on it. depending on how long it is, it may take me a from a day to a week or more. however, i often lose interest and motivation if a fic takes too long for me so apologies in advance if i give up on your request. 𑁍

Q: does anyone help you run this account?

A: it’s just me. though sometimes, with gruelling tasks such as reworking the texting parts of my old fics, my sister (8 yrs old) will help me out. she’s a very nice kid. 𑁍

Q: do you have an upload schedule?

A: i post whenever i have a completed fic and want to post it. usually, I’ll post 1-2 times every week. though, this is not always consistent. usually i’ll post twice back to back and then leave for a while. and especially since the school year is starting soon, this upload schedule may be even more inconsistent. i struggle a lot with burn out and have abandoned many projects. 𑁍

Q: what are your hobbies?

A: i like doing creative things. drawing, writing, etc. i also like to read and i’m learning to play the flute! i’m hoping to apply for a local school art program for singing and visual arts when i reach high school. 𑁍

Q: what languages do you read and speak?

A: i’m most fluent in english as i was born in canada. i can speak vietnamese pretty well but i have difficulty understanding dialects and accents. i’m also not very good at reading it either. (hong kong) cantonese i can hold a conversation in (mostly) but i have a lot of difficulty with it and can’t read most characters, since i only speak it with my dad. 𑁍

ask before translating, taking inspo from (not copy), reposting, etc. my work. remember to credit me and if you’re taking inspo from it, please @ me as I’d like to see what you do with my ideas!

[masonscig]

can i ask why people in the fandom seem to really dislike mishka? (censoring her name and such) this is not meant in an offensive way to you or to anyone else, i’m just new here and kind of confused. like did she do something legitimately wrong or are people just irked by the writing of the new book? hope you have a great day <3

OH yeah sorry i can definitely see how that's confusing to new people LMAO

so, it's a bit of both imo – i've been here since 2020, shortly after book 2 dropped, so my perspective is a lot different than newer fans

so, one of the reasons i censor her name, is because tumblr changed the search functions – used to be, when you looked up something, it was only things that were in that exact word order in a tag – so if you spelled t/w/c wrong in some way, it'd only show up results that were misspelled, if that makes sense

but now, it's like if you look up any word, random posts that mention it anywhere in the post will show up too – and i would rather not open myself up to the m*shka bootlickers bc i just do not have time for that LMFAO

i rarely maintag things these days because i just don't want to be perceived by so much of this fandom, but that's just a me thing

also, in terms of what she did "wrong"... on top of problematic stuff in text, there's a few things i can think of off the top of my head:

encouraging white/washed art by reblogging on to her dev blog while knowingly having the official skintone palette locked behind a paywall (patreon)

when called out for the above, they did vet their pieces i guess – by only reblogging black and white pieces, and art of detectives. then they stopped reblogging art completely

posting a white hand for a morgan instagram edit – and taking hours to delete the harassment in the replies, some of which being actually racist comments with slurs pointed at black people

in a q&a video, referred to m as an "attack dog", which was super insensitive, considering the consistent comparison of m to an animal across all platforms (text, tumblr posts, patreon content)

her treatment of f over the years, both in text and outside of it. her asks were a huge reason that the fandom has an infantilized view of f and they don't even consider them to be a love interest (much less one that gets physically intimate). they see them as a child. this bullet point is a massive one that would take too long to explain. i could probably write an essay on how problematic it is to immediately "other" your singular black character by literally making them an otherworldly alien, but i do not have the time

how she writes nb/trans characters. from what my friends have said who code dive, they get the same dialogue and variants that women do. obviously if you don't code dive or play with nb characters you probably wouldn't notice, but there are a good chunk of people in the fandom who play with nb oc's so... this is something that should be better, but it's not

to add to the above, she said she was getting sensitivity readers but... did they do anything? look at book 3 and tell me if they actually did anything (i have a feeling maybe those sensitivity readers were white queer people)

overall, it's very hard to explain and condense the fuckery my mutuals and i have seen both m*shka do over the years, and what her fans have let slide/incidents they've coddled her up during.

sadly, she doesn't take hard stances on things. she just lets things happen and that just. doesn't bode well if your argument for all these mistakes is "ignorance". if she's getting 10k a month on patreon plus sales (not to mention the fact she's a grown ass woman), then... it's the bare minimum to ask for her to be mindful of her audience and to do better.

and also book 3 sucks xoxo

[gagfadget]

i'm going on anon for this but that other anon talking about how there's real csem on ao3 is RIGHT. the first time i was on ao3 years and years ago exploring and reading fanfics for a really shitty show (its a long story) i was into. there was a fanfic i saw that that made me stop. the writer did some kind of crosstagging with the show and 'rpf' which left me befuddled. it was tagged for 'e' and was full of tags related to sex and stuff. there were names too (actor's names specifically), and there was one that stood out to me that felt familiar. it was a child actor in the show that i watched, i googled his name to make sure it was who i was thinking of. i can say years ago when i first found his picture i remember being horrified...that this poor REAL LIFE CHILD was written into this 'fanfiction'. this poor kid wasn't even 13-he was barely even 10 YEARS OLD. i remember so much details literally because of how much i was just disturbed that ao3 let a sexually explicit story up about a real life incredibly small child up. i had problems with rpf at the time and thought it was weird (think like L*rry shippers), but this was my tip over the age into the 'unforgivable territory'. this is the first and only time i've talked about this for so so many long ass years. ao3 users and especially proshippers cannot convince me in any way that this is 'fiction', that this is ok and allowed for 'fannish experiences'. because how in any way is this stuff created and acceptable for the 'artistic freedom'. i have seen so many terrible things on that website of real life minors. i've seen proshippers in a specific 'fandom' make sexual headcanons about how they would groom and rape a real living breathing teenaged boy for their fanfictions on that website. i'm tired of pretending this kind of thing is for 'funsies' and that's it's 'fiction' and all of these arguments about 'artistic merit' and 'sticking it to the man'. this is really long and i'm so sorry for doing your inbox dirty like this, but i'm saying this to say i understand how you feel with the pain and frustration. your opinion and traumatizing experiences with ao3 or proshippers and whatelse is valid and real. i think everyone makes mistakes and we realize the things we involve ourselves in including coping mechanisms can be bad and unhealthy and we have to take a step back and breath. don't let proshippers step over you and tell you that you are a liar when you are expressing your honest opinions.

Yeah like….I’m very big on Ao3 needing moderation for this shit. And there is moderation technically but it’s more for things like people using the wrong tags or people posting original stories and not fanfic (which is so SOOO stupid). I think Ao3 is a very important platform but it needs to get rid of the underage rpf. Call me a censorship fascist or whatever but that crosses a very BIG line for me. I don’t care if some grown up or even a teenager feels like they’re being censored for writing about a real child doing something sexual cause that could actually has ruined a person’s life.

[nongnaos]

This or That, BL edition

Tagged by @icouldhyperfixatehim thank you! And once again, I wrote this up then saved it, completed, in my drafts and forgot about ever publishing it.

crying in the shower or making out in the shower [something to know about me is I have severe health related anxiety and seeing people get steamy in a shower where they are likely to slip and fall just... 😰]

give cute boy line ID or stalk his IG [i like seeing the soft little looks that privacy grants. Also Semantic Error ending scene? Ideal. Also TMS2 pining.]

share his earbuds or share his closet [warmth and its so cute!! i go feral every time!]

manga or manwha [i read neither but so many amazing bls have been adapted from both]

long dangly silver earring or dark leather cuff [i love both but i don't think I've seen much of either in bls??]

time loop or reincarnation [the untamed, my love]

blue engineering smock or red engineering smock [i don't particularly like the colour blue (sorry) but also: pran <3]

kisses at the beach or kisses in the mountains

cactus or chili plant [what? does this mean something i don't understand?? I guess chillis???]

fairy lights or spot lighting [sparkly twinkly tiny 😍]

ghost boyfriend or vampire lover [i hyperfixated on vampires as a child. Was it a good choice? In some aspects. Do I still sleep with my shoulders bunched up around my ears for fear of a neck attack? Yes.]

hard sub or soft sub [this is about subtitles, right? Am I naive? Softsubs are surely better for gifmakers..]

stray cat or … actually that’s your only option [my current cat was a stray feral baby and I'd take so many more if I could]

Hawaiian shirt or blue shorts [Pat <3]

evil ex-girlfriend or predatory fujoshi [i don't think I've come across evil exs very often yet (and not in bl but in Love and Leashes they handle the abusive ex story soo well and I still can't stop thinking about that movie) but I really dislike fujoshis]

suit jacket or leather jacket [love a leather jacket more than anything]

high school or university [idc too much either way but as I age I do appreciate slightly older stories. gimme more actual adults pls!]

kitchen drama or office drama [Old Fashion Cupcake, does it even count? Who cares... 😍😍]

forehead kisses or cheek kisses [look no one accidentally goes into a forehead kiss, they're so intentional. Also I'll never be over the atots airport kiss]

Viki or GaGaOOLaLa [I've not used gaga yet and I pay for viki but I had trouble with it so much at the beginning so i refuse to pick it]

Japanese arthouse depth or Korean high concept [i googled these to make sure i understood and honestly it confused me more but i watch a lot of korean tv so.. 🥴]

pink milk or yakult [the sheer amount of Yops and Frubes I was forced to consume as a child has made me repulsed by any kind of yogurty milky drinks]

censored Chinese BL or trashy Thai pulps [i want all of it, i want to be consumed by the love of a chinese show and also be able to laugh and relax at a pulp]

body swap or dead body [if wei wuxian was once dead does it count?? Also Wen Ning, my baby..]

sexy or story [we should be allowed both, but also I'm not too pushed either way, like Love In The Air is all steamy and virtually no story while The Untamed is allll plot and I still love both of them. Enrichment in the enclosure, to me, is having things of each and having things with both]

back hugs or lap sitting [😳]

piggybacks or cradle carry [head and ankles generally intact]

[lastoneout]

@sedewt Sorry to pull this from the replies but I figured I should clarify for everyone: Basically, people on tiktok have a habit of censoring specific "bad" words in their video captions bcs of a(possibly incorrect) belief that the site's algorithm will punish videos with those words. People will say "unalive" instead of "kill", for instance, but also they will use replacements like "seggs" for sex, l3$bi4n instead of lesbian, that sort of thing.

Regardless of the truth of the algorithm's programming, this behavior has become so ingrained that it is spreading to other websites, and here on tumblr censoring words like that means that people who have certain things blacklisted cannot reliably avoid content they find upsetting. Like as an example, body horror and gore are legit triggers for me, so I have those tags blacklisted. But, if someone decided to post some body horror art, and, to avoid upsetting the algorithm, tagged it as "b0dy h0rr0r" I would still see the post, bcs there's no possible way for me to have every single variation on "body horror" blacklisted.

In addition to that, people who enjoy body horror and gore WON'T be able to find that art, bcs they likely are following the "body horror" and "gore" tags, and posts with mangled tags won't show up in their feed or searches, and they don't have the time to search every variation on the tag to find the content they like.

As a further example, since I know people on Twitter will misspell "commissions" bcs they think the algorithm suppresses posts asking for money, if you do that here someone looking for an artist to commission by searching for "commissions" won't be able to find your info!! Or, on the tagging side, people with photosensitivities need to be able to blacklist "eyestrain" and "flashing lights", and so if you tag something "3y3str4in" they will still see it and potentially have their health conditions triggered.

So when tagging stuff, both for people who need stuff blacklisted and people who want to find your content, you should ALWAYS tag posts with the full, actual words. There's also no real algorithm here and the one that we do have, as far as I know, doesn't give a shit if you say kill or fuck or whatever. You're just making everything harder for yourself AND others for literally no benefit at all.

The only instance where you can, and are expected to, censor your tags is if you're posting salt/hate. Like if I wanted to complain about say, idk Sasuke and Naruto as a ship, I would use a tag like "sasu//naru" instead of "sasunaru" or "n4rut0" instead of "naruto" so that my post doesn't show up in the main tag, bcs it's kinda rude to flood tags with negativity like that. I would also censor the words in my post to avoid them showing up in searches in general, or use a readmore to hide the body of the post so people have to click through to read it.

That is the ONLY time it is acceptable to censor words. The rest of the time you should always just spell out words, especially "bad" ones, bcs people can't avoid upsetting content if they can't filter it reliably. If you're worried about the "algorithm" punishing you or people seeing your post who don't want to, one, stop caring about the algorithm most of us never interact with it anyway, and two, in addition to full tags being the best for blacklists, we also have community labels for several types of mature content, so use those to your heart's content, bcs people can filter stuff with those warnings too.

TL;DR: Censoring tags like people do on tiktok breaks the website and makes everything suck for everyone, if you want to warn for content just tag the post with the full word and a community warning label bcs that's the only way people can avoid content they don't want to see and/or find content they do.

friendly reminder for the new twitter refugees:

change your icon/pfp and put something coherent in your blog description or you're going to get blocked bcs people think you're a bot

this site is built around reblogs, so please actually reblog posts(especially art and fics!!)

you can set your likes and follows to private

checkmarks here are a meme and mean nothing

follower counts are private and we like it that way, so get used to not judging people by that metric

drama and discourse is boring, use your blacklist and block button liberally

DON'T CENSOR YOURSELF!! we can swear and say kill and make fun of corporations all we want, and if you tiktok-ify your tags people who have things blacklisted for whatever reason will still see them, and people who want to see that content won't be able to find it!! spell words out normally, you won't get in trouble!!

tumblr live is sketchy as hell and full of fake accounts, if you decide to use it anyway may god have mercy on your soul o7

be nice to the reddit refugees, they're our friends <3

[bezogonek]

god do yall remember bobby burns and the whole him being sh*ne d*wson’s hater „drama”

[svtskneecaps]

you ever lay awake stewing over all the shit you want to apologize for but can't because it happened so long ago that it would be awkward to bring it up in conversation and you're pretty sure the other party has either forgiven or forgotten or never viewed it as a slight in the first place but you're still like 'oh god, they must hate me'

yeah

[nothingweirdhere]

hhhhhhhhhhh i love the show so much but i really just. cannot get fully behind deckerst@r like im SORRY but i just Do Not Vibe with it

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Part 2 of this request...

THIS IS A FLUFF BOMB! And it's PART 2 to this angsty requested one. I also drew some inspo and prompt #6 from @reveriehs's prompt list:)

WC: 4.5k

Tag list: @anotherdudetteinthisworld @behindmygreyeyes @mettlefacedoom @yana4life @matildasatellite @calssunflower

Harry had slept maybe a total of an hour worrying his ass off about Y/N. She hadn’t been answering his calls or texts all night. It was around 6:30 when he decided to try her sister, they had always been close, and he was also close enough with her. He waited patiently until he heard her pick up.

“What Harry.” She sounded irritated at the sound of his voice.

“I just wanted to know if you’ve heard from your sister.” He mumbled tiredly.

“She’s on her way home, she caught a redeye.” She disclosed and Harry felt relieved upon hearing that.

“OK. Got worried since she wasn’t answering me.” He said and she hummed, “Do you think you can ask her to call me when she lands? Please?”

“No, Harry. She just needs some space right now. She’s really hurt and overwhelmed and you didn’t stick up for her.”

“It wasn’t like that-”

“It was. I saw it with my own eyes. There’s a video circulating everywhere, H.” She explained and Harry sighed, “You literally just stood there.” She pointed out.

“Fuck…” He sighed as his eyes welled up.

“And somehow you’re still the hero in the fans’ opinions…H, she’s completely worn down and I think you need to wait until she’s ready to talk to you.” Y/N’s sister advised.

“She broke up with me though, who knows when that’ll be.”

“Yeah, anyone in their right mind would after something like that! Look, I’ll tell her you called to check in but just focus on your tour and whatever else for now, OK?” He sniffled.

“Yeah. Thanks for taking my call.”

“Of course, H. Take care, be safe, OK?”

“Thanks, bye.” He mumbled in defeat and hung up. He hoped this would have helped him feel better, that wasn’t the case at all.

*************

When Y/N hadn’t shown up to breakfast the next morning it wasn’t strange for Sarah, she knew after their last chat that she was having a hard time. Maybe she needed more rest, but as the day went on she hadn’t even seen her around the hotel and Harry was very, very quiet all of a sudden. So Sarah did what she did best, reached out. After a few rings Y/N picked up her call.

“Hello?”

“Hey! The other girls and I are gonna go have some girl time before we head over to the venue. Since it’s the same venue we don’t have to be there early to soundcheck.” She shared and she heard a sigh.

“Oh God, Harry didn’t tell you guys?” She asked tiredly.

“Ummm… no? Tell us what?”

“I went back home after the last show.” She explained.

“Oh my god, really?”

“Yeah, some of the fans waiting outside of the hotel started throwing food at me and then someone threw a full on blended Frappuccino at me! It’s all over the fucking internet, it’s so embarrassing.” She got that awful pain in her chest and drop of her stomach just at the memory.

“What in the-?!” She stopped, censoring herself from using foul language, “What did Harry say?”

“Absolutely nothing! Nothing at all, I was so angry I…” she trailed off, “I broke up with him.” She said and Sarah gasped.

“Like out of rage or?”

“Yes, but… I’ve been thinking about it for a while now if I’m being honest. He’s just become so cold and hollow and I feel like I just bother him. The media and the mean fans just add another layer of pressure to it and I do love him, but I don’t think he loves me anymore.” She explained, “Or he doesn’t act like it. At least not anymore.” She mumbled sadly.

“I’m sorry.” Sarah responded softly.

“It’s alright, it’s life you know?”

“Yeah, but the fact that he didn’t even say anything or try to defend you… something is definitely up, that’s not like him at all.” Sarah deduced.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Would you still give him a chance?”

“I don’t know, Sarah. I want to, trust me I do! But I don’t see how anything’s gonna change… I don’t deserve this again. I have been with people who’ve mistreated and ripped my self-esteem to shreds and who haven’t reassured me…he knows that. He knows how deep those wounds run and he didn’t do anything to protect me. I mean, a person can only handle so much!” She vented, “He would always tell me to ignore it or to not get on social media or that it was just a thing that I needed to get used to. I mean, he’s had years of media training and practice to just ignore it and even still it impacts him at times! I don’t have any of that and I don’t want to not use social media and sacrifice my likes of it because some people don’t know how to behave! Even when I’m private! They comment things on my friends’ pages and posts and ughhh, it’s disgusting!” She ranted.

“I agree with you on that. I’m sorry, Y/N. Is it OK, if I talk to Harry about this? He should at least apologize.”

“You can, but don’t feel like you need to. It should come from him without persuasion, you know?”

“Ughh, you’re right. But I will give him a talking to at least, how ridiculous.” Y/N giggled despite her eyes welling up.

“Thank you, Sarah.”

“Of course. Don’t be a stranger.”

“I won’t. I hope the rest of the tour goes well.”

“Thanks. I’ll check in later, OK?”

“Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate it.” 

***********

“You can’t just ignore me, you know?” Harry huffed to Sarah who was quite taken with her son crawling around in her and Mitch’s dressing room without a single reaction to his words. He’d been attempting to get her attention for the past 10 minutes to no avail. Harry heard Mitch sniggering over the sound of him shaking up the baby bottle they were about to feed their son. “Did I do something?” He asked her.

“I think this is more about what you failed to do, bud.” Mitch gave him a hint and Harry’s brows creased.

“I didn’t forget anyone’s birthday…did I forget to introduce you?” He asked Sarah who finally acknowledged him with a blank and dull glare, “I did, didn’t I?” She rolled her eyes and he groaned, starting to get impatient, “Are you good to perform tonight though?” He asked her and when she didn’t respond he looked to Mitch again.

“She’ll be up there.” He assured his young friend and Harry shook his head.

“Can’t I get some reassurance from you on this?” He said to her and she looked up at him and finally spoke.

“If you can’t give it, you won’t get it.” She stated flatly and then it seemed Harry realized why she was upset.

“For fu-” she glared at him, “Fun. I was going to say fun’s sake, you know, censorship.” He said to her and then Mitch, “You can’t be angry at me for something I didn’t even do to you.” He said and she groaned.

“You’re an idiot and you majorly screwed up, H! I love you like a baby brother, but that means that I get to hold you accountable when you do stupid stuff.”

“I think getting dumped was enough of a wake up call. I get it, I should’ve done more and now it’s too late! She won’t even answer my texts!”

“Serves you right!” Mitch threw in as he walked over to the baby and picking him up, Harry frowned.

“I don’t think this is the best topic of discussion before a show…”

“You’re right, so sorry to bruise your ego before a show.” Sarah said a little too casually, “Maybe I should’ve just thrown a blended drink at your head instead, would be a lot less demoralizing.” She retorted before standing up and rushing out of the room and Mitch sniggered again with his son in his lap eating calmly. Harry let out a deep breath before shaking his head.

“I’d follow her if I were you. Don’t think she’s done.”

“Jesus…” he groaned before standing up and hurrying out. He found Sarah with Pauli and Elin, “Can I chat with you a minute?” Sarah nodded and started walking down the corridor of the backstage area, “Believe me, I want to fix it. I don’t know how.”

“How about acknowledging what happened and defending the person you claim to love.”

“I do love her.” He snapped in irritation.

“Hasn’t seemed that way in a while, H. Not to us and especially not to her.” Sarah said, “What’s going on? Hmmm?”

“I just…got all in my head about it. I got scared and I just…shut down sometimes. I don��t mean to be a dick or dismissive, but maybe if she saw how awful it got she would know that she deserved better, you know?” He said sadly, the insecurity he had always had never seemed to wane and she felt so sorry for him.

“Well, I hate to say this to you, but from what she told me that’s where her mind is going, H. And you know what she’s been through before and what she’s struggled with; you built her up so high only to let her down in the worst way. In that way that has always been a soft spot for her and she’s really hurting right now.”

“I can imagine… I want to fix it, but her sister said she needs space. To just give her time to figure out whether she would like to keep trying with me or just…” he trailed off sadly, “to decide, basically.” He swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he explained and Sarah nodded.

“Maybe when we get that break before we head to America you should stop by to see her. Give her a warning, a chance to think about it, yeah?”

“OK.” He said and she offered a small smile to him.

“I love you, H. We all do. I get that sometimes it’s hard with everyone outside of us trying to pry their way in, but there are some things that should be allowed to shine through. Like you being happy with your girlfriend.”

“I know…it’s just hard to know how much is too much sometimes, you know?” She nodded in understanding. He vented a little bit more about what he was feeling and then it was time to get ready for the show.

*************

The crowd was very energetic tonight and the show was going swimmingly, but Harry still felt a little hollow inside. He was doing a little talking bit in between the songs when one particular sign caught his eye: ❤️ TREAT Y/N WITH KINDNESS ❤️

“Hello, camera operator 1, his name’s Johans, by the way, everyone say hello to Johans!” Harry announced happily, pointing to the cameraman on stage and everyone shouted a cheery and unanimous, “Hi Johans!” To which Harry chuckled happily as Johans waved as another camera pointed at him projected the man up on the big screen, “Thank you!” Harry said and walked over to Johans, “Right Johans, over on our left hand side, maybe row four or five? I see a young lady holding a sign-” Harry said as he directed Johans. Tons of people had signs near the front, “Yellow poster board.” He said pointing until Johans was pointing at the correct sign, “Yes, that’s the one! Thank you, Johans.” Harry smiled. The message was projected over the big screen and the entire stadium cheered loudly and the girl holding the sign was really excited over the fact that Harry had seen her sign, “What’s your name?”

“Liz!” She shouted and with the help of other fans around her the message was relayed to Harry.

“Well Liz, I’ve got to say out of all of the signs I’ve ever seen in all my tours and all my shows yours has got to by my favorite one.” He smiled at her and she laughed nervously, “Are you here with friends?” She nodded and the two others with her identified themselves beside her, “Well Liz, this is a one night only special that I’m about to offer you. Are you and your friends able to stay a bit after the show? I’d like to do something special for you because of your kindness.” He stated happily and the girl and her friends nodded excitedly, “Perfect! If security can find Liz and friends before the show ends that’d be great and we can get her surprise underway!” He said and the fan and her friends were freaking out as everyone cheered.

“I’d say little acts of kindness always go a long way.” He said to everyone, “Even just that sign, took my day from good to great! And in a world with so much hate and conflict and hurt I think it’s important to do our part in making it just a little bit better.” He said and everyone cheered, “Tonight, there is something that I wanted to acknowledge. My girl-” he paused, “Y/N, is not at the show tonight. She actually hasn’t been to several shows during the tour.” He explained, “She doesn’t feel like this is a safe space for her unfortunately and yesterday, I’m sure many of you have seen how she was…assaulted last night after the show. It was so disappointing and sad to see something like that happen to someone I love.” He shared with the crowed, “More so when it’s from people I also care about.” He explained and the crowd had fallen completely silent, “I want to make this a safe space for everyone. I want anyone to feel at home and free to be who they want to be for the time we have together if they don’t have that opportunity outside of these shows. I feel disappointed in myself that I have failed to do that, even if it’s just for one person. I want to try harder and I should’ve done more.” He said looking out into the crowd as he exhaled.

“Furthermore, I would hope that each of you here tonight chooses kindness. I hope that each of you chooses love. And I hope that each of remembers that it’s all of our responsibilities to make each other feel safe and like we belong. We’re all responsible for making the world a better, much kinder place. So, turn to the person on your right! Tell ‘em you love them and you’re happy they’re here tonight!” He gave a few seconds for that, “Now turn to the person on your left and give ‘em a big hug! Beautiful, now this next one’s all about kindness…” he grinned.

After the show Liz and her friends’ big surprise was that they got to go backstage and meet the band. Harry chatted with them for a while and got them some of the staff wear that was left over. He learned that they had been there last night at the hotel and seen what happened first hand, how they had tried to stop other supposed fans from heckling Y/N. Harry thanked them for their kindness and support. They seemed worried that Y/N wasn’t at the shows and they shared a lot of the things that they had seen online about her. Harry never preoccupied himself too much with looking these things up and when he heard what exactly people were saying to her and the frequency of it he felt awful and completely sick. He wished he would’ve known. If he had known how bad it was he wouldn’t have waited until something like this happened to address it. He needed to make this right.

***** ONE MONTH LATER *****

Harry was finally on break and he had asked to see Y/N. He had given her space, her sister told her that she had told him that it would be wise to let her have some time. So it was about two weeks after the incident when he first reached out to properly speak and apologize for being a bystander to the bullying she was enduring and she did respond to that outreach effort and assured him that she was also working on somethings to help her own insecurities. Her therapist had been seeing a lot of her over the last month.

She had also seen a video, well many videos actually, about what he had said at the show the night after she left. It was sweet, what he had done. And then when he sang Boyfriends he talked about how he hadn’t been such a great boyfriend recently. She didn’t need grand gestures like that to feel validated or important to him, but even just the reassurance that he had her back would’ve been enough at the time. Either way, the gesture was sweet and the more time she had to think the more she concluded that she didn’t want to go down without a fight. So when he asked, she agreed to meet with him when he flew back home for his break. 

That day was today. He was coming over for a brunch type of thing. She had gone out of her way to get the coffee that he liked and even travelled with. She was starting on his favorite breakfast all while double checking her appearance. She wasn’t sure why she was this nervous, it was as if she was the one who would be pleading for another chance. Maybe she just wanted him to know that she was still putting in effort for him. For them. When there were some knocks on the door she breathed in deeply and exhaled as she took her steps towards her front door. Y/N rolled her shoulders back and cracked out the little tensions in her neck before opening it up to reveal Harry, who was looking tired and a bit peaky.

“Hey.” She said softly with a smile working its way onto her lips. Just seeing him before her warmed her hear tremendously.

“Hey.” He responded just as quietly and she hurried out of the doorway to let him in.

“I made breakfast and coffee.” She said to him and he smiled as he bent down to remove his shoes.

“Yeah, smells amazing.” He said as he was back to his normal height and she guided him over to the kitchen.

“Thanks. Everything’s about ready f’you wanna grab a seat.” She indicated to the little breakfast nook at the other end of the kitchen.

“Thanks.” He said and went on over where she brought him a plate and then set down a coffee mug for him and soon she was sliding in across from him and they started to eat. 

The atmosphere was tense and a bit awkward as they made some small talk. Quite frankly, Harry just wanted to jump in and get on with his groveling. He hated how fragile everything felt right now, he felt that if he just dug his fork in wrong and made it scrape against the plate mistakenly that would be it and they would be done. He was insecure too. They did make some small talk about tour and her job and how they were doing, but as the finished up their food the mood started growing a lot heavier. It was time to get down to business and he cleared his throat for a moment before he glanced up at her. 

“Ummm,” he started nervously, a half chuckle leaving his mouth, “Obviously I want to talk about what happened. About us.” He said and she nodded, resting her chin on her palm, indicating to him that he could start off. “Again, I’m so sorry about what I did. Or didn’t do, better said.” He started out, “Honestly, I had no idea how bad things had gotten for you. You know that I don’t pay any mind to those things and just stay away from it as much as possible so I hadn’t…I don’t know, I just didn’t bother to check how things were going on that end of things. I’m sorry for feeding into the delusion people were under, unknowingly, but I was also fighting some stuff internally and it just happened to look like it aligned with what people were saying about you and about us.” He said and she nodded, “I do love you, though. If anything was reinforced during this time it’s that. You are so special to me and I would hate to lose you because of my own insecurities or because meddlesome gossipmongers have some weird vendetta towards you.” He said and she chuckled, “I hope you can forgive me for not being there for you how you needed it. For not checking in with you.. for letting you down. I can’t stop thinking about what you said. That you hated how it felt to be with me.” He felt a lump forming in his throat at the memory of it and he frowned, “I hate that I led you to feel that way. That I let you down like that, baby.” He said reaching out for her hand and she took it immediately. The relief he felt surge through his body was unreal as she touched him.

“I’m sorry too. I feel like I overreacted…” she breathed out and he shook his head.

“You didn’t.. specially when I then go and accuse you of cheating on me…” he huffed out with a shake of his head.

“Yeah, what was that about?” She asked and he shrugged.

“I just still feel like maybe I don’t deserve you. Specially when things like this happen, it just makes me feel like you deserve more. That you deserve better.” He said and she sighed.

“I’m sorry for saying that to you, H. I shouldn’t have gone there, I was just so angry with you in that moment and I just spoke without thinking.” She whispered as a few tears streaked down her face s her grip on his hand tightened, “I think in that moment it was true, what I felt. But I don’t hate how I feel when I’m with you, I promise.” She reassured, “I love how I feel with you. You make me feel happy.  You make me feel brave. And safe, and loved, and strong, and confident, and beautiful. You make me feel like the person I’ve always wanted to be.” She said and he smiled, “But I don’t want to just feel that way because of you, you know?” She said and he nodded in understanding, “I want to feel that way because it’s coming from inside of me. Because I believe it, you know?” She explained.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.” He reassured her and she smiled at him.

“I started going to therapy again, for that. Self-worth is hard to rebuild.” She huffed and he nodded in understanding once again, “I want to keep working on me because I deserve better and because you deserve better. I don’t want to be so insecure and fragile anymore, it’s so exhausting.” She said and he chuckled.

“Yeah, I know, baby.” He hummed in agreement.

“I’ve come to understand that I need to get past this hurdle if-if I want to have a future with you.” She said, “That’s why I don’t think it’s a good idea that I rejoin the tour.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, I agree.” He said and she smiled at his understanding.

“I mean, I’ll definitely come see you later down the line, but just being there every day and not doing anything busy just gets me in this weird space and well, you know that I like being on instagram and twitter…” she said and he chuckled and nodded. 

“But I mean, if things are getting bad like that you can talk to me about it, you know?” He said and she bit her lip.

“Yeah…I just know we’ve talked about that before, like when we first started dating and I don’t know, I just felt like you would be dismissive about it or just tell me that I shouldn’t be snooping around those things in the first place. Or that maybe I just shouldn’t use social media anymore.” She disclosed to him and he frowned.

“God, no!” He mumbled, “I’d never do that, baby.” He sighed, “I mean, of course, we proceed with caution when we use those platforms, but I’d never make you feel bad for wanting to be active and use them consistently. I know it’s hard not to look at those things, especially when you see one thing. Even if it’s a good thing! You just kind of go down a rabbit hole and you start to see bad things mixed in and then you just start looking for all the bad things and it’s awful…” he said and she nodded, “But it happens to all of us and I want you to know if that ever happens again that I’ll be here for you to help you come back from it. I always will be.” He assured her and she smiled.

“Thank you. I love you so, so much.” She sniffled and he smiled.

“I love you too. Now, come here.” He said letting go of her hand and she slid out of her seat and hurried over into his lap where he just hugged her tight and did the same.

“I missed you so much, baby. M’sorry I dumped you.” She sighed and they chuckled into their embrace, “I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, I think you were totally in the right. I needed a reality check.” He said and she sighed, “But I definitely think we should talk more when we’re feeling not ourselves.”

“Yeah.” She agreed pulling back to look into his eyes, “I want this to work.”

“I do too, baby.” He reassured her, “Since you’re the one who dumped me you have to ask me now.” He said with a grin.

“To be my boyfriend?” She questioned incredulously and he nodded.

“Them’s the rules, baby.” He said with a mischievous smirk.

“Fine.” She mumbled, “Will you allow me to extend to you my acceptance of giving you the privilege of being my boyfriend again?” She asked and he chuckled.

“What?!” He laughed boisterously at her confusing phrasing and she giggled.

“You know what I meant…” she rolled her eyes and he grinned.

“Such a stubborn little thing. We’re working on breaking down that ego next.” He said and she giggled, “But of course, I’ll give you the privilege of being your boyfriend again.” He said smugly and she laughed softly as she grabbed his face gently.

“I’m going to kiss you now, OK?”

“I don’t believe I extended that privilege to you.” He teased.

“Oh, shut up.” She huffed before melting her lips against his tenderly. He smiled into their kiss and tightened his hold around her waist and as they parted to catch a breath he hummed into the little space between them.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” She whispered with a smile.