#sorry but i was a supernatural fan first and the damage that show did is irreparable | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

allegra-writes · 4 years ago

Text

“The Devil all the time”

Hunter!Tom x Demon!Reader

Supernatural AU

NSFW

Warnings: Smut

"Break the silence, damn the dark

Damn the light..."

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac

Forget everything you thought you knew, you had every reason to be afraid of the dark when you were a kid. In this world where monsters are real, the Holland brothers hunt them so normal people can continue to live in the bliss of ignorance.

But when something goes terribly wrong, Tom will do anything to save his brother's life, including selling his soul to the devil. Well... Not exactly the devil, but close enough.

You don't need to watch Supernatural to read this AU

MY MASTERLIST

He knew it was you, even before turning. He knew it as soon as he heard your deceptively delicate footsteps break the supernatural silence that had fallen over the forest the moment he had buried the little metal box in the old crossroad. Tom didn't want to think about what it meant, having such an intimate knowledge of you to be able to recognize you by the cadence of your steps, being so in sync with you that he could tell whenever you were in the vicinity.

So he used his favorite deflection technique whenever it came to you.

"Y/n? What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? Sorry, did I say nice girl? I meant evil skank"

The insult didn't phase you. None ever did. It was hard to take them seriously when you knew how many nights he fell asleep with your name on his lips, after pathetically releasing himself into his own hand, or fucking his boring girl-next-door girlfriend, chasing orgasm over unsatisfactory orgasm that would never completely satiate him. Because it wasn't your face the one contorted in pleasure looking up at him from the mattress.

"You called. I came" You batted your lashes, sweetly. "I always come when you call…"

He gulped, the innuendo not lost to his ears. It threw him off guard, like it always did.

"I would have thought this would be… beneath you" Tom cleared his throat, looking away, trying to regain his footing, "collecting a deal, like a vulgar crossroad demon"

There was nothing vulgar about the soul of a Holland. But he didn't need to know that, so you just shrugged,

"Queen Rowena has an interest in you boys. She finds you entertaining. I'm just being a good subdit"

He scoffed,

"Funny. I would have never peg you for a sub"

You took a step closer to him.

"You don't have what it takes to make me submit, Holland" Your hot breath fanned over his skin, setting his skin on fire. Making his blood boil. You had a way of doing that, of bringing out the worst in him. Of making him lose control. And you thoroughly enjoyed it, poking at the bear until the claws came out, laughing at the carnage.

Another step, and you could physically feel it: The hate, radiating from his every pore, his mind screaming with it. He hated you. He hated your kind. He hated your beauty. He hated the pretty white dress you were wearing, so pure and innocent, glowing like a beacon in the dark. A lure, guiding uncountable men before him into perdition.

But above all else, he hated that, even then, he couldn't help but to want you. Fervently. Desperately. Irreversibly.

"I came here to make a deal" He croaked, cursing himself internally for showing weakness.

"Let's negotiate, then," you replied, stepping away, mercifully letting him breath.

"My brother-"

"I know" You interrupted, sounding bored already, "Reapers everywhere are going berserk. Who, oh who, will get to reap the soul of a Holland?"

The wind picked up, making your long dress billow around your legs. You twirled a little, admiring the way it moved. Tom's eyes were glued to you, almost hypnotized. Partly because you were too dangerous to be left unsupervised even for a second, partly because you looked beautiful like that. It had never been more obvious to him that you were an unearthly creature, you didn't belong to this world. There, surrounded by greenery, barefoot, swaying softly under the twilight light, he wondered how could anybody ever mistake you for a human.

"Of course" your apathetic voice took him out of his revery, "being reapers, watching them go wild is rather boring. I swear they are the most uninteresting beings of all creation"

That made him see red.

"Boring? Boring?!" He knew his voice was rising with every word but he just couldn't help it, "They're waiting for my little brother to die!!"

"Which could happen any minute now," You reminded him, all playfulness gone from your demeanor, "so if you wanna strike a deal, I suggest you start making me an offer worth my time"

He was taken aback by that.

"I- My soul in exchange of a wish, and you collect it in ten years" He tried and failed not to think about what that implied: vicious, invisible hounds of hell tearing apart his body and dragging his soul to hell, "Isn't that the usual deal?"

You scoffed,

"After all the things you did in your life, what makes you think your soul doesn't belong in hell already? And if your brother dies, that is one less Holland on earth to worry about. You and your brothers have managed to become a big pain in the ass for us…"

He pulled out a knife, a strange one, with runes in the blade. You arched a brow in recognition

"The Winchesters' knife. Are you threatening me, little hunter?"

Your lack of reaction was another blow. He had hoped you'd be more impressed than that. Nonetheless he turned it in his hands, offering you the handle.

"I'm throwing it into the deal"

To his surprise, you didn't immediately take it from his hands, choosing instead to pace the clearing, deep in thought.

The truth was you couldn't care less about the knife, it wasn't more dangerous to you than a toothpick. And while it was true it could certainly damage your queen, she had a far better weapon to protect herself: You.

But it did confirm your suspicions about the Hollands having access to the old Winchester arsenal, which meant they had access to something way more dangerous than that rustic weapon made of steel and bone. A book, made of ancient dark magic and human skin, written in blood. A book that was precious to queen Rowena and by extension to you: the Book of the Damned.

The Hollands were a family of extremely talented, yes, but old fashioned hunters. The stab first, ask questions later kind. They probably had no idea what they had in their hands… but you did.

"Very well then," you finally declared, "this is my offer: Your soul and that knife in exchange for sweet Harry's life and one year for you to get all your businesses in order"

Tom felt all the blood drain from his face. One year. Just 365 more days to live, before an eternity of torture in hell.

"O-one year?" He breathed.

"One year" You confirmed, "More than enough time to go see the Grand Canyon, eat the world's spiciest burger or whatever you have on your bucket list"

The disdain in your words only made him hate you harder.

"Not nearly enough to live" He replied through clenched teeth. You rolled your eyes,

"You're a hunter. You lead short, violent existences, charging head first towards what most humans run away from. Things faster, stronger, more powerful than you, surviving each encounter out of sheer luck. Killing one monster after another, until that luck runs out. Because the monsters? Unlike you who rely on it everyday, they just need. One. Single. Lucky. Strike." You punctuated every word with one step in his direction, until you were face to face again. Until, for the first time ever, you could see the fear, the desperating hopelessness he kept hidden inside, reflected on the warm coffee of his eyes. You knew a lesser man would be already crying and begging for Mercy.

Tom wasn't like other men though, that was the whole point.

"Or…" You soften your tone and your stance, letting your fingers ghost over the back of his hand, his whole skin erupting in goosebumps. That was the very first time you touched him. Ever.

And it was as if nobody had ever touched him before, the light caress enough to set every nerve ending, every single one of his cells, alight.

He was so distracted by the sensation and his body's response to it, he almost didn't hear your next words over the sound of his own pounding heart.

"Or you could keep your little pocket knife, and even have your ten years if…"

"If?" He struggled to focus.

"You let me borrow a book"

His brows furrowed in confusion,

"A book? What book?"

"Any book of my liking, for as long as I want" You shrugged it off, "Do we have a deal?"

There was a catch there, it was obvious. He knew he was going to regret it but, what choice did he have?

"Deal"

Your smile was blinding, luminous. If he didn't know any better, he would have called it angelical. Now, that was one ridiculous thought.

"What now? We seal it with a kiss?" His eyes fell to your lips, so soft looking and inviting. He wasn't eager to put his mouth on a filthy demon and doom himself. He wasn't.

You chuckled, but there was no humor behind it.

"Oh no, darling. This is big. This is special" You're special, "A simple kiss just won't cut it…"

No. You couldn't mean… could you? Was there no limits to your hatred for him? Did you really want him so defeated, so humiliated?

"What do you want?" He spat through gritted teeth.

"The same thing you want" You put your hands on his chest, rising to your tiptoes to whisper in his ear, "The same thing you have wanted ever since we first met . The thing that's obsessing you..."

"I don't know what you're talking about"

You smirked,

"You can lie to your family, you can even lie to yourself, little hunter... But you can't lie to me."

He couldn't hide, you could see every fantasy, hear every single one of his thoughts of you on repeat, like a prayer in your direction. Just like he couldn't hide the way his skin was burning now for you, the way his blood rushed south, the way all logical thought left his brain, his iron grip on his emotions finally breaking as he snapped.

Lightning fast, in just a blink, he twirled you around, your back hitting the rough bark of a tree, as he towered over you, demon blade to your throat, every inch of his body pressed against yours. His eyes were ablazed with rage, and passion, as he surged forward, striking you with his best hit.

He kissed you.

Lips vicious against yours, teeth biting and scraping only to soothe the offense seconds later with his tongue, until he was dizzy, light headed with the lack of oxygen and the taste of you. The hand not holding the knife to your neck fell to your breast, squeezing the pliant flesh with enough force to cause pain on a human woman, merely making you moan. He swallowed the sound, letting his fingers trace your waist, your hips, clawing at your dress until he finally, finally, felt skin under his fingertips.

It was better than anything his mind had conjured in his feverish fantasies in the dead of the night. The skin of your inner thighs velvety soft, as they parted under his touch, the sweetest sounds leaving your lips as his fingers found your naked core. You weren't wearing any underwear, probably never had. The realization that, in all your past encounters and fights you had been standing there, just feet away from him with nothing under that damn dress hit him like a truck, making his head swim.

He searched between your folds, and suddenly his fingers were inside you. He was inside you, a part of him was buried deep within you, within your silky heat, claiming you as his, if only for the night.

And you were so wet for him, and only getting wetter as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, scissoring them, opening you up until he was able to slip a third one in, fucking you with his hand in earnest. You were sobbing, clutching at his biceps, head thrown back in pleasure. He took advantage of that to suck bruises on your neck, only to see them fade before his eyes. Your skin tasted clean, smelled like wild flowers and rain. Ozone. Lightning. Like those coursing through his veins with every cry, every delicious gasp you made.

He found the perfect spot inside you, the one that sent sparks through your nerves with every stroke of his calloused fingers.

"This what you wanted?" To make him lose it? Lose his mind, himself, in you? "For me to make you come on just my fingers, like the little slut you are?"

The floor disappeared from under his feet as you sent him flying away from you, a searing pain exploding at the back of his head as he landed, sprawled at the feet of an old, dying oak. With blurry eyes, he saw you stalk towards him, all power and cold, controlled fury.

"Let's get one thing straight, Holland. I'm not one of your sluts" You sneered, "and I'm definitely not your basic bitch of a girlfriend. So you better start showing me a little respect, are we clear?"

He gulped, sitting up. He had to be seriously fucked up in the head, for his cock to be twitching inside his pants at your threatening tone.

"Crystal"

"Good" You declared, coming to a stop right in front of him, standing between his parted legs, "Now, let's put that mouth of yours to a better use"

He knew that image was going to be forever tattooed on his brain: You standing in front of him, holding the skirt of your dress up, waiting for him to put his mouth on you. Tom took a moment to admire you, before delving in, flattening his tongue over your slit, before drawing tight, precise circles on your clit with the tip. God, you tasted so divine it was messing with his head; something as dark and corrupted and twisted as you, feeling so exquisite, so perfect, so heavenly to his every sense.

He helped you hook your knee over his shoulder, his other arm snaking around your leg, pulling you even closer. You could feel his smirk against your cunt the moment he realized your legs were shaking, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care, not with his wicked talented mouth devouring you like a last meal, rocking your whole world, making you see stars behind your closed eyelids.

You always knew that man would make the stars fall.

Tom kept on, penetrating you with his tongue as far as it would go, his whole face moving against you. The slight burn of his scruff felt delicious against your delicate labia, as he used his fingers to open you up like a flower, separating your petals to get to the delectable nectar inside. You were close, he could feel it, the obscene sounds you were making, the waves of sweetness falling on his lips feeding his ego, filling him up with pride. By the time the night was over, you'd be unable to forget him. He would make sure of that. He would make you come, over and over, until the only thoughts left in your brain were of him, the only word your lips knew how to speak was his name. He would mark you, like a bloodstain, like you had done to him.

Almost there, he almost had you. Your muscles were locking, your walls starting to tremble, when a loud crack resonated over his head, and you stepped away on unstable legs, breathing hard. You didn't even need to breathe, it was just his effect on you. He made you feel human. And it was both exhilarating, and terrifying.

You took another step back, but he took hold of your ankle, tugging hard enough to make you fall on his lap, white skirt covering the place where his hands were fumbling with his zip, with his boxers, aligning himself with your entrance.

"Fuck!" He cursed, as you sank on his rock hard cock, not giving him any time to get used to the feeling of you around him, before starting to move.

"How does it feel" You taunted, "fucking a monster? Is it as good as you dreamed of?"

Better. You felt even better. Tom hadn't thought it was possible, but he loathed you even more for it.

"Shut up" He growled.

You leaned forwards, breath hot against his ear,

"Cause you feel amazing, Tom. Your cock feels like heaven"

His hand tangled in your hair, keeping you in place as he crashed his mouth to yours again, the other fumbling for the buttons at the back of your dress, tugging and pulling, tearing at the fabric, in his haste to feel more. More of your skin against his, more of the body that had been his hyper fixation for far too long.

You sat up, still grinding on his cock, letting the tattered dress fall to your waist, watching in satisfaction as his eyes went wide, zeroing on the way your breasts bounced in sync with your hips.

Reaching up, for a glorious second Tom could feel one perfect pebbled nipple against his palm, the roundness, the weight of your soft flesh on his fingers; before an invisible force pinned his hands to his sides.

You tsked.

"Still don't get it, do you little hunter? This?" You let yourself fall all the way down his thick cock, hard, tearing twin moans from his mouth and yours, "This isn't about you. This is about me."

Leaning back, you braced yourself on his strong thighs, changing the angle, changing your movements to a slower rocking against his pelvis. The friction against your clit was perfect, the feeling of his big, throbbing dick so deep inside you, stretching you like no one before, sending electrical pulses through your spine. It was decadent. It was ecstasy.

It was torture. Underneath you, Tom was sobbing, eyes bright with unshed tears, fighting in vain against his bonds. He needed it faster, harder, anything to help tilt him over the edge you were keeping him on, your sweet cunt too tight, too good around him to allow his cock to soften, your rhythm too leisured to let the tensed, strained coil inside him to snap. You were uncaring, using him remorselessly to get yourself off, your little moans getting higher in pitch the closer you came to your climax. Tom felt himself getting higher just by looking at your beautiful pleasure ridden face. You cried out, and suddenly it was happening, you were coming, pulsating around his cock, falling apart on top of him.

And the ground beneath him quaked. The sky above his head bled, the blue twilight torn open by lightning, and thunder, despite the fact that there wasn't a single cloud marring its diaphaneity. You fell forwards, hand braced on the tree, next to his face, ridding the aftershocks of your orgasm until the end.

"No!" Tom cried when, after a few seconds of catching your breath, you dismounted him, letting his dick slip out of you.

You arched a brow,

"Something you want, Tommy?"

He locked his mouth shut, gritting his teeth. You smiled, amused, knuckles stroking his still iron hard cock.

"Do you need more, little hunter?" You enveloped him in your hand, moving it up and down his member, watching the head disappear under his foreskin, "Do you need to come?"

He banged the back of his head against the bark.

"Yes!" He finally admitted, "So badly…"

"Then beg" You commanded, stilling your hand. He snapped open the eyes he hadn't realized he had closed. Oh, if looks could kill…

"Never" He hissed, livid.

"Very well, then" You picked up your pace, pumping him fast, your grip almost too rough. He gasped for air, feeling the telltale tightening of his balls, the coil inside just about to break under the tension. But you must have felt it too, cause your hand let go of him altogether. Too late, he understood what you were doing.

One beat. And then another, and he was coming all over his t-shirt, orgasm completely ruined.

He cursed, tears escaping through the corner of his eyes, fingers digging into the moist ground under his hands. You chuckled, cruelly, standing up and stepping out of your shredded dress. He could have ganked you with the demon blade in that moment, he really could have, except his hands were still pinned by an invisible force at his sides.

"Let me go, you bitch," Tom growled, tossing, fighting against his restraints to no avail, "aren't you done?!"

"Not quite." You smiled, mockingly sweet, "Just one more thing before I leave. Don't worry, it will only hurt for a minute…"

He renewed his efforts to escape, as you bended over, reaching for his chest, white hot pain burning through his ribs. He almost cried out, but what he saw stole the voice from his throat, turned his blood into ice inside his veins, leaving him shaking, jaw slack and mouth open in a soundless scream:

You, naked and gorgeous and terrible. Transfixed, eyes glowing with a supernatural indigo light, the shadow of two massive, bended, broken wings projected on the trees behind you.

Not a demon, he thought. You're not a demon.

You smiled, and it was terrifying.

"No. I'm the thing demons have nightmares about" You replied out loud to the words he had only said in his mind, "And now, little hunter, you belong to me. Mind, body and soul"

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x you #the devil all the time #supernatural #supernatural au #supernatural smut #demons #angels #demon!reader #hunter!tom holland

1K notes · View notes

positivityjediprince · 3 years ago

Text

Get to Know Me - A Tag Game

rules: tag a few people you want to know better; make a new post, don't reblog!

Favourite colour:

I'm a big yellow fan! I'm such a dork I love buttercups and suflowers and daisies and sunshine. I'm sorry, I know that's kinda cringe but yellow is just so :D you know?

Currently reading:

So much fanfic lmao....

But non-fanfic wise I'm on and off reading this book called "Even More Opera Annecdotes" which I live for, it's all like snippets of opera world drama and moments - like Janet Baker sassing Pavarotti. It makes me so happy because even the great professionals are dumb nerds!

Last song:

Apparently Dolly Parton "Why'd you come in here looking like that."

But I'm my dream I was singing/there was playing "He is an English Man" from Gilbert and Sullivan HMS Pinafore.

Last Movie:

Man I had to think hard about this one... Genuinely I think it was this terrible animated film called "The Seventh Dwarf" ...I put it on to traumatise my house mates cause it looked awful ..and it was.

Last Serise:

Last watched its Louis Theroux Forbidden America.

Last finished it's Supernatural Academy (which I do sort of recommend even tho it's stupid it's quite charming - with great rep - and I greatly enjoyed it! The soundscaping is wack af tho cause covid lol)

Sweet, spicy or savoury:

It's gotta be sweet! Especially baked goods! Give me Krapfen and brioche all day everyday!

Coffee or tea:

TEA BABY! Like not to be a stereotype but tea is life, though it has to be non-cafinated versions/herbal because my heart doesn't take caffeine well.

Three ships:

DinLuke is of course my number one and light of my life!!!

Then it's for sure Geraskier! Who I also adore with all my heart.

And third hmm it's probably quite tied it's probably between James Bond/Q (00Q) and Catadora! (embarrassingly my first thought was me and my bf ew what a sap I am)

First ever ship:

This is going to make sense to none of you but Yoyo/Crocky from this Austrian TV show called 'Simsala Grimm' - when I was small I thought they were like married I'm ngl. They're the chaotic bubbly feral himbo and sensible awkward nerdy one (who is very Done TM with the other person's shenanigans) couple - I think that was fundamental to my concept of relationships.

Currently working on:

I'm working on the last two chapter of Heaven knows I've needed someone like you for so long and a REALLY DUMB one shot - both DinLuke ofc!

And also my ever growing drabble drafts!

Favourite piece of clothing:

Probably the show hoodie from the last opera I did at university - it was the first time I got a real lead (and it was a big role) and people believed in me and I realised that I am worth something and that I can become an opera singer - which is big because if been working my butt off to recover my singing from the damage done by my ED. So yeah that means a lot to me even if I don't wear it that much.

Comfort food:

SOUP AND OR GOULASH with sexy Austrian bread.

Favourite time of the year:

Ooooooo summer but the bit of summer where it's the evening and it's still warm and you're outside with your pack and the sun is setting but you know you'll still be out here for a while being silly and having deep convos.

Fave fanfic:

Now THIS is a hard one! I'm gonna cheat a bit cause there's three from different fandoms that spring to mind.

I'm gonna say DinLuke "oh the things we left behind" because it is beyond beautiful and id say it is my number one overall.

Also close is Saoghal Tinn (00Q) which grasped me and never let me go - even if you don't know/ship them I'd recommend it if you like well written and tense zombie apocalypse stuff with gays.

And one I keep going back to for serotonin is Animal Instinct (Geraskier) I adore soft feral Geralt and when he's sad Jaskier won't eat the rats he brought him lives rent free in my head.

Thank you to @thewriterowl and @feralsunspotandtincan for tagging me you cuties!!!

And here we have the tagging dilemma of the DinLuke dorks to double tag or not to double tag!

@veradragonjedi (double tagged bestie I'm sorry!) @mandobogwitch @mando-punk @kriffinjoy @mysticmjolnir ofc no pressure guys!! ❤️❤️

#i had so much fun thinking about all my fave fics lol

12 notes · View notes

life-rewritten · 4 years ago

Text

Giants of Thai BL AKA The MOST ANTICIPATED THAI BL SHOWS FOR 2021

It's weird to think that the year 2020 has ended. This has been a journey in the past year, on the surface everywhere you looked it looked like there was no place to be happy and excited because of all the things that happened. It was suffocating at times, tiring at best, and it was just astonishing how many things could go wrong in only one year. That being said, one genre/demographic that grew even stronger this year, took some time to impress and improve on its tropes, its ideas and concepts and that's BL. Which also took some of us by surprise, for the ones who've been watching BL since the first oldies, to the new people who joined and also became in love with the genre and have stayed since then. BL has been an incredible, interesting journey, and I am so happy to say that it looks like 2021 isn't letting go of that energy. So to celebrate entering 2021, a year hopefully for a release from all the worries in 2020, a year to restart, refresh and keep getting better, here are the Giants of Thai Bl making their way in 2021. We have so many insane ones, from more mafia dramas to new unique non-university storylines, to og actors, and new powerful ones, to interesting pairings and new channels producing shows for 2021 to many many more countries joining the fight to be the top of our affections and energy. Thai BL is not going anywhere, and you know what that's perfectly fine with me.

GMMTV

I already did a whole squeal about the shows upcoming from GMMTV here: But after careful consideration here is my top 3 most anticipated: Enchante, Not Me, Bad Buddy. I know Enchante beat out ATOTS, but for me, I'm obsessed with the way the writer plans secrets and meta to unveil, and I keep repeating it's by Theory of Love director and production team. I'm so excited. I just hope they put in the same energy and effort they used in theory of love for this you have so many potential incredible actors that can take over this genre if you give them a good script and hard work. Hopefully, GMMTV intends to do so for not just their royal couple shows but also for rookie actors because Book and Force in this trailer? Looks fantastic.

Studio Wabi-sabi

When I hear about Studio Wabi-Sabi, you see two juxtaposed reactions from me, one you see anticipation and excitement from seeing my most loved actors off-screen; however, you also hear a groan from me. I'm sorry I didn't use to be this way, I used to be so ready to embrace every show directed and created by New Siwaj; in 2020, New was one of the directors I kept having headaches about because of all his shows in 2020? What exactly happened? Why did they flop so hard? Why was he so slow? I'm hoping that it's because he had too many projects to handle at the same time since fair enough LBC was filmed same time as GMMTV My gear and your gown and maybe that was too much to handle? But the reason why I like News choices usually are because they're emotional, impressive with their plot lines and have good character arcs and couples we end up falling in love with. He could be an iconic director because he has so much talent in his company, so I'm hoping he uses his lessons and grows and becomes better in 2021. But Let's get to the shows announced so far for 2021 because they both have the potential to take over 2021. I said what I said.

Between Us

Genre: Friends with benefits, Romance, Comedy, PTSD, Angst,

Ahh, this is incredible. I'm so happy. Win and Team are from a great tv show already with Until We Meet Again and not going to lie, but seeing Buon as Win and Prem as Team? Perfection. Like guys I actually fell so hard for this couple despite their low screen time. Buon stole the scene each time he appeared, with his little smirks, and mischief, with flirty bad-boy energy and their relationship, was precisely what I live for passionate and full of chemistry. They're great, which is why it's so exciting to see that Between Us is getting its own show, the show based on these two love story in a parallel timeline to Until we meet again. I screamed. The book sounds interesting; we're getting some conversations about PTSD, some healing relationships, and angst and more passion. I'm so excited about this since I first saw BuonPrem. I knew they were going to get known enough to bring their own show. And they deserve it, let's hope we get an interesting script that keeps us invested, enough opportunities for these two to have softer and profound moments whilst still holding on to their passion, and let the drama not be stale but addicting. Please New, don't let this show also be slow-paced, I'll lose it if another show is ruined by directing from you.

Ratings: 4/5: BuonPrem, they leap off the screen, their chemistry is that great. From hearing about the plot I'm also excited to a more in-depth look into Team's insomnia and his past and psychological scars, and I'm hoping to see a deeper reason for why these two should be together.

Love Mechanics 2

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends with benefits, Unrequited love,

That's the thing about Wabi-Sabi; they have amazing actors that steal our hearts away. This shows cast is no different, it's YinWar and it's a collab with Channel 3. Like What? It's everything. YinWar from Love Mechanics trended with millions of people obsessed and wanting the show to be extended and actually appropriately done. In came Channel 3 and we have this gem coming on April. No words. YinWar on screen is thrilling; War is just outstanding as Mark, his nuances, his glares, his looks of pain and longing, man I was absorbed into it. Although LM's writing is toxic and really left me feeling confused and uncomfortable with the details pushed aside, it was hard to ship VeeMark when Yin's character made terrible decisions and was awful even in the book. I'm the queen of analysing damaged flawed characters, and I don't run away from toxicity as long as there is a growth and change later on, as long as there's a good reason we needed to see that. For Vee's character, his actions were unnecessary for us to know about his character; they were just messy and upsetting. That's why I think seeing more depth for his actions and seeing Mark regress and also make mistakes like him will even out their relationship and make me feel more understanding about how these two flawed characters came to be and why they should be together. Let's hope with funds from Channel 3, more effort and energy put into the show, it'll be great because with actors like War this show can be just as big as it was when it had errors. Maybe even better.

Ratings 3.5/5 Love mechanics messy storyline makes me worried about this, but I think I might have a great time watching and analysing Mark's revenge after being heartbroken. The angst and drama of it all just sound interesting.

Channel 3

2020 brought a new surprise with Channel 3 deciding to invest in BLS. BLs have always been not on mainstream channels, so seeing Channel 3 in Thailand decide to make their own shows, a collab with other companies, and bring some directors and writers and actors known in the BL world already, shows they are serious. This may be because of the success of 2gether and other breakthroughs in 2019 taking over the scene. But I can see that Channel 3 did not come here to play, they are researching, looking for ways to make a great BL with the information provided on the past BLs and they want to make it big. And you know what with shows like GEN Y showing up last year, I want to believe that Channel 3 is a competition for GMMTV and others. They invest in funds and have longer minutes for their episodes, and they also pay attention to international fans by streaming on new places like Iquiyi and others. It's exciting. Channel 3 has already dipped their toes with Love Mechanics, and in 2021 they have even more shows to give us:

Teddy Bear Miracle

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Supernatural, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Fantasy, Mystery, Lakorn

What a weird title for a show. What an odd premise. What a bizarre book. But you know what I'm so excited about this; this is meant to be a lakorn series that is BL. Like wow, it has a good cast, known faces in the Thai acting scene and a director/screenwriter who has won awards for his own script. That's even more exciting. But the best thing about this is that it's a fantasy and has supernatural themes, yep it's weird we're dealing with a magic system where teddy bears come to life, and other inanimate objects talk? But I'm so excited to see what this brings; we have a man transformed from a teddy bear with amnesia who's searching for his past and how he ended up as one and his owner who's not yet ready to let his comfort go. It's so interesting, with family history and drama and of course, a romance that will probably touch my heart. I'm excited for this zany, wacky and dramatic show. Normally, I shy away from the crazy because I don't like crack humour, and it just means a bunch of many irritating sound effects and editing choices. But I want to trust the whole team from Channel 3, from the behind the scenes the show looks great, the couple has chemistry, and I'm excited to delve into the mystery at play and see what this story is meant to become. So excited honestly.

Ratings: 4.1/5 The wacky magic system scares me not going to lie, but I have faith for some reason in Channel 3, so I think this might shock us all. I think we'll get good acting, and perhaps good directing too. The mystery might also make me want to analyse. We shall see.

Lovely Writer

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Acting/Writing Industry, Haters to Lovers,

Did you say Kao and Up and P'Tee the director of TharnType the series? Sign me up I'm there; I've been screaming a bit since I heard about this series. From the first time, it was announced that Channel 3 was turning the book into a show, I was like this sounds unique again? And it has an interesting plot, I guess, and it's also going to have drama. I'm hopeful then. When I heard about the whole team and watched the trailer, I got into it even more. Lovely Writer sounds right up my alley, to be honest, we have this introverted writer who is determined to write a masterpiece and stop his company from making him produce BLs for the hype only for his next project to be a BL show which leads him to his new sneaky, sly, wolf in sheep's clothing roommate. Kao played his roommate from Until we meet again who won my heart as Korn and made me cry buckets. So, of course, I'm excited, Nubsib (Kao) may have some tricks up his sleeve to get next to Gene, but I think things will be more complicated than he thought, I'm ready to explore the world of the film industry and dating scandals that Gene and Sib will fall into the more they fall for each other. The angst and drama. Can't wait. Also, TharnType is one of my favourite series, and one of the reasons is because of Tee so... That's even more reason to see Gene and Sip's love story develop. Will it be as angsty, passionate and filled with plot twists? From what I hear maybe.

Ratings: 4/5 I just think this is an excellent team for a BL backed by Channel 3 and also has an exciting plot filled with ups and downs. I'm excited to see what happens and from the behind the scenes they released in the new year I think it'll be right up my alley.

NADAO

It had to be mentioned that I'm still in shock that Nadao is investing more into BL's. I don't know why, it just feels too good to be true, after giving me show after show that's perfection and quality I'm starting to have high expectations and hope for more, despite my weary heart not wanting to trust that this is real. I'm dramatic, I know. Anyways Nadao has gifted me twice with two shows that have shocked me and made my jaw fall in awe. I'm just like wow, they really did that. Every single piece of work that comes from them is art. Every single script is exceptionally written. Every single show is acted beautifully, and every single director and producer makes me inspired by the way they create. This is when focusing on their BLs because Great Man Academy and I told sunset about you are masterpieces in their own way, they deserve to be praised and never forgotten. It's just incredible that with a company like Nadao, everything falls into place, even when we think it won't because of past experiences. Nadao has shown up and decided to create unique pieces each thoughtful. Deep and breathtaking. Why won't I be over the moon when 2021 announces that we're getting another part from them with I told sunset about you getting a sequel. You bet I haven't stopped screaming and looking at the time to hurry up, so we get to March 11. I'm serious.

ITSAY PART 2

Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, University, Coming of age

And that's because of what ITSAY was to us in 2020. It was something that can't be explained concisely. It was everything. To hear that we're getting the second part of the story of Oh and Teh, I feel like I am already preparing my heart and mind for another invasion, last time I was a mess because of this show, I was all over the place because of this show, and I was incredibly happy for a moment because of this show. To relive that again would be everything. It's slightly worrying that Teh and Oh finally getting together and fighting through the odds to stay together will run into more obstacles. Are you kidding me? After all, we went through to see them together?? It makes me worried, I have this real distrust for sequels of BLs, and it hasn't changed despite 2020 producing some okay follow-ups. Sequels never meet the expectation set; sequels are always reduced in quality because the focus is now on popularity and fame, sequels lose their integrity of the characters we've come to know and love and sequels hurt. They make me sometimes give up on a show that is my love, and it hurts. It's a painful realisation that I can't take away or forget the sequel events, so these characters are now ruined infinitely for me—looking at Together with me next chapter. It's scary. But Nadao hasn't failed yet, I mean it when I say their scripts are like works of art, I mean it when I say you can tell they put blood, sweat and tears to create their shows, why would ITSAY part 2 be any different? These two shows I mentioned before are coming together because the director of GMA is joining the team of ITSAY to produce whilst Boss becomes the producer. As long as he's there, I'm fine, as long as we still get hard work, energy, effort and thought put into it. I'm fine. Because it translates on screen, I'll try to lower my expectations, but I can't wait to see BilkinPP as TehOh again. I can't wait to fall in love with the show all over again. Let's hope we all end up satisfied.

Ratings: 4.5/5 The being a sequel is what's deducting the 0.5. I can't come here and be a fool; I must guard my heart against disappointment somewhat, despite failing already to do so.

Other Affiliates

We have our other shows. These were a pleasant surprise. With all the growth of new BLs, it's starting to get crowded and saturated, but as much as it's hard to see which shows stand out above all the noise, some make you see it. These shows are the ones that stand out for me out of the rest in 2021. I don't know what companies they're from, all I know is the information given to me and past experiences.

KinnPorsche

Genre: Romance, Mafia, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Bodyguard trope

AHHH. Can you hear me AHH. Okay, I'll calm down. But no really, KinnPorsche is finally preparing for filming and the cast has been set and I'm screaming. KinnPorsche was the book in 2020 that was announced as the most coveted; I remember so many fandoms wanted their actors to be chosen as the main cast. The reason? Because this is meant to be the first Mafia/Crime BL. Yes, you heard us, no more universities and engineers we're doing bodyguards and spoilt gangsters. I'm... But just knowing this, you just know that the show will also have angst, angst angstttt for days, drama, and a romance that probably involves haters to lovers, passion, and character development. We're coming in with guns blazing, with many side couples that look just as good and interesting, and many actors that look perfect for their roles. I cannot wait for KinnPorsche, especially when one of my favourite actors is going to be in it as a second lead Jeff Satur! Have you seen the posters, the character introduction, who they're casting for the rest of the show? This looks amazing, it seems well put together, and the whole team looks determined and ready to give us a great show. I'm honestly so excited, but I've also heard things about the book that I will have to wait for the show to be a judge of before saying. All I can say is quality of a show also includes the themes in the script, we're trying to evolve past the toxic plots and ideas in BL, so I'm hoping if there is any we cut it real quick and change that part. It's the producers and directors' choice to keep parts in that could be edited or removed. I haven't read the book, so I'm going to be wary about it for now, but from the whole cast, teasers, and posters I really think this show could be a favourite if appropriately handled.

Ratings: 4?/5 The question mark is for the rumours I've heard about the book. I can't lie that I want this show to be great and become one of my all-time favourites but with angst and violent personalities and passion comes leeways to toxicity and more and that's just not cute or needed.

My Engineer Season 2

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Unrequited love, University,

Okay, this is it, folks. My Engineer came in 2020 and knocked our socks off; it's the most underrated great show in 2020 (apart from why r u) in my opinion. It was brilliantly constructed with enough screen time and plot for every couple of the show. My Engineer is a great show; it didn't make it to my favourites because I had issues with the main couple, but it was my most enjoyed when it came to the side couples. Because we had KingRam, TharaFong, and MekBoss. (Sorry to BohnDuen Fans). These were some of the most exciting, heartfelt, loving couples in 2020, KingRam was just chef kiss. And to hear that we're getting a sequel based on them? Well you know what I did, I screamed. I loved both KingRam and TharaFrong they were done so well, acted so well, and they made me laugh and laugh and then squeal and blush. They were too cute. The ending of my engineer left both these couples on a cliff hanger; we had a depressing bro zone with TharaFong as Fong came to realise his feelings, we had a wait what moment with Ram telling King he wasn't drunk when the kiss happened which is essentially a 'we need to deal with this new situation' text. And it's got me so excited to see what happens next. The first part of this was excitement. The second part is sigh, sequels. I told you didn't sequels are just urgh. I couldn't stop my excitement about KingRam, and I went to read the novel, and I usually don't mind it, but I don't think if the sequel is based on their story that I'd like them in season 2. And that's ridiculous because they're finally the main couple of season 2, and TalayPerth is impressive to see on screen. Sigh. I wasn't happy when reading the book; there are specific actions and choices made that just shifts the dynamic of the first season into the opposite. And I'm not particularly excited to relive those moments. Let's just say I still have high hopes for My engineer mostly cause I don't know what's happening to the other couples; I really hope there's a change in the script, maybe more information, more reasons for the characters to act the way they do, more depth? Because I want to like this show, I want it successful, but I'm not a clown I can't pretend it will be if it's based on the books. We'll see if I'm proved wrong. I hope I am.

Ratings: 3.5- Why did I read the book why?? I should have come into it blind I would have given it a 5/5 just for KingRam. Sigh

Love Stage

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Gender Bender, Friends to Lovers, Childhood friends,

This was a shock. Thailand has started to remake mangas from Japan, and it's all the most loved ones. In 2021 we already have Antique Bakery being remade by GMMTV (Read my GMMTV Giants of 2021) and now we have Love Stage which is also getting a Japanese Movie remake out in 2021. It's a great manga, anime and it's going to be a fun show. I enjoyed the characters, and I liked the storyline. But what I'm the most excited about when it comes to this is Kaownah and Turbo finally, after years of waiting have a new series. YES. Kaownah plays Long in TharnType our villain, and he was incredible in that. I heard he and Turbo were meant to be in the show My Umbrella, but it was cancelled and forgotten which was disappointing. These two are so cute, they're known for their fanservice and their chemistry and friendship. And I like them a lot. I can't wait to see Love Stage. I think they'll kill it. Can't wait to hear more about it let's hope this time it sticks and comes through on our screens.

Ratings: 4/5 It's a fun storyline, and it has an excellent acting couple. I'm excited.

If 2021 already sounded brilliant because of GMMTV 2021, 2021 sounds even more exciting with these new shows; there's so many coming out, so many breaking stereotypes, so many unique plotlines, and so many great actors showing up. It's going to be a great year. I'm just glad BLs are growing, things are changing slowly, things are starting to have meaning and improve, international fans are being listened to, LGBT voices is also being listened to, we are getting there, not yet there but closer, every single time someone makes a choice to create a great plot and story that is more than just two guys making out, a show filled with heart, messages and essential representation with the good actors that also want the shows to mean something or are willing to put their all in it, every time someone chooses to make a good BL, you're paving the way for change and for the meaning of BL to change as well, for it just to be seen as something more in media. And that's needed for so many people who want shows like this to be respected and created for voices that need to be heard and displayed. Let’s see more with excellent quality in 2021.

#thai bl #bl series #bl drama #gmmtv 2021 #between us #love mechanics #itsay #i told sunset about you #my engineer #lovely writer #wrpup #2021

117 notes · View notes

caramelcal · 4 years ago

Text

The Truth Hurts...{part nine}

Every time your soulmate lies, a mark presents itself on your body. In a world like this, people normally told the truth so that their soulmate didn��t have to deal with the consequences. But your soulmate? They seemed persistent to make your life hell, and mark your body until there was no skin left.

Word Count: 1.8k

a/n: i just finished this but im not gonna keep you guys waiting...i aint saying no more...

Taglist: (comment if you want to be added, or you can message me) @itsjustmeiguessallrightthen @moonbeams-stuff @cece-lives-here @aprilfire18 @adrianaprox @slytherinrising @deadric

Warnings: Mentions of death, blood, betrayal, and swearing.

disclaimer: i do not condone plagiarism on my work at all, this has not been posted on any other platforms, or on tumblr anywhere else but my account (rosemoonmist) if you see anyone plagiarizing mine (or anyone else’s account) please inform the rightful author ! thank you lovelies x

Previous Masterlist Next

Corey was dead and now that you stood in the Sinema, seeing the needle go in and Hayden’s eyes fill with mercury, you couldn’t help the shout that came out of your mouth. The Dread Doctors hadn’t been seen in five days, no new chimeras and no deaths but every sense of security that you had felt in Beacon Hills over the past few days was hopelessly ripped away from you at that moment. Not caring about the foe there, you ran towards Hayden who fell to the floor.

Hayden was holding her neck when you and Liam had rushed over to her, her eyes no longer filled with mercury.

“Her eyes,” You spoke, your voice wavering as Scott and Theo came running in, body drowning in worry for the younger girl as you spoke, “they filled with mercury. I saw it, a-and now she looks fine but her eyes-”

“It’s okay, she looks fine, maybe she’ll heal,” Theo replied reassuringly, making you turn towards him. He immediately picked up on your worry, pulling you closer to his side whilst you looked up at him.

“None of the others did, Theo. I can’t deal with another body,” You whispered back, peering up at his blue eyes, making him form a small frown. He knew what you had been through, he knew the pain and suffrage between dead bodies and new threats. He hadn’t seen the pain these troubles inflicted upon you when you first met, but now it was clear as day. The more he got to know you, the more he seen what a toll the bodies took on you, the way the supernatural secret depleted your mental health.

Maybe he should’ve stopped. Seeing the broken look in your eyes, the way your eyes were silently begging him to stop without your knowledge, the way that he felt a small bubbling feeling of guilt as he looked down at you, his soulmate. To be with you he knew he had to stop. But he didn’t.

. . .

“Lydia?” You called out in confusion, your phone up to your ear as you answered the unsuspected phone call.

All you were met with was silence. An impending doom seemed to filter over your head, you knew that the Dread Doctors were attacking, that’s why you found yourself at the school. Yet, it was stupid to be alone but you knew that. Everyone was all over the place and you had hardly heard from anyone all night, which certainly didn’t do anything to calm your nerves.

You just hoped that Lydia would answer, give you some sort of useful information, or just at least let you know that she was alright. That she was safe and well. Alas, you didn’t get that, and instead, you made yet another attempt to get the girl to talk.

“Lydia is everything alright?” You called out, voice loud as you tried to get some sort of reply from your caller, “Lydia?”

No voice came from the other side and nerves and worry etched at your stomach. What if something was wrong? What if Lydia was hurt, or the Dread Doctors had taken her? Yet, your mind didn’t stay on her long as a large and pained howl sounded throughout the air.

The howl was one you had heard before, pain etched through the noise in a way only you could unpick. Eyes wide, you whispered in horror, “Scott.”

. . .

Seeing your unofficial boyfriend’s nails embedded deep into your best friend’s chest caused a scream to come out of you that was unlike anything that they had ever heard. Lydia’s screams, no matter how daunting and loud they were, would never match the utter pain and betrayal in yours. Your legs felt weak, you felt sick and your eyes filled with tears as Theo got up, chest heaving in power.

Before you even had time to be rational, you ran and you punched him in the face. Your other fist came up to strike him again as he caught both of your hands, and you chose to flail your leg out to kick him, one without much power that done zero damage; a lot less than you hoped to cause. You wanted to make Theo feel pain, to equal his physical pain to the emotional pain he had caused you, and for the killing of your best friend.

His eyes still glowed yellow, and your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him, his claws which were covered in your best friend’s blood gripping tightly onto your wrists with no plans to let go. You were elevated above the ground, and legs flailed with the best attempt to escape but it was futile. Eyes staying focused on him you spoke, tears building up thickly, “You bastard.”

“I’m sorry this is how it had to be, y/n,” Theo replies coolly, with no guilt in his voice. He didn’t care, he had consciously killed Scott for no reason and you would never forgive him for this. Ever.

“It never had to be like this, nothing ever justifies this,” You spat back, tears clouding your vision and blocking your throat whilst you stared down at the corpse of one of your best friends.

“You’ll understand, y/n/n, you’ll understand one day,” Theo said before dropping his grip on you, going to walk away from you and out of the library, completely unbothered by the destruction he had caused.

“That’s my best friend, you dickhead!” You ran up behind him, shouting at the top of your lungs making him stop in his tracks, “You, you were supposed to be our friend, I’ve known you since we were kids...How could you do this?”

Theo looked over his shoulder at you before slowly turning around looking down at you with a dangerous look in his eyes. He stalked towards you, his stance wide, almost intimidating, “He was your best friend. Not anymore. There was no room for him in my pack.”

You maintained eye contact with him, e/c eyes trying to look into the blue eyes despite the darkness in the room. It was several moments before you spoke again, your voice bitter as you asked, “Your pack?”

“Yes, y/n, my pack,” Theo replied with a slight nod of his head, walking even closer to you until your bodies were leaning against one another; barely leaving any room for breathing as you stared up at him. He peered down at you, before flashing his eyes at you, his voice stony like he was trying to enforce power, “I’m your alpha now.”

He ducked his head down so that it was closer to yours, his eyes no longer glowing whilst you guys stood in silence. The tension was thick as you looked back up at Theo, feeling his breath fan across your face, almost as if he was going to kiss you. Then, he started to lean in, your lips slowly reaching each other before his face was flung to the side.

You took a step back, your hand still held up after the action you had just indulged in as you stared at Theo with wide eyes, for a human you surely put a lot of force into that slap.

“Let’s get one thing clear, Theodore. You are and will never be my alpha.”

His hand hesitated but he lifted it to his face, touching the area that was already starting to mark red of where you slapped, before an annoyed smirk made its way onto his face, making him laugh. The laugh was chilling but you didn’t care at that moment, you would not back down no matter what. Not after what he did to Scott. Theo could kill you right here, right now, if it meant that you didn’t have to join his pack.

He looked back at you, his face now annoyed as he pointed at you. You weren’t sure if he was annoyed that you slapped him, or if you had slapped him and in the process rejected his kiss, but that didn’t matter either. He bared his teeth slightly as he talked, taking one step forward but still maintaining a distance between the two of you, “You act like this right now, Princess, but in the end, you’ll be by my side.”

“In your fucking dreams, Raeken,” You spat out, anger filling every atom of your being. You had been expecting Theo to argue again with you, but he just smirked and walked out without another word, leaving you to drown in the betrayal and grief he had left behind.

The silence that filled the room was deafening, and a sick feeling rose to your throat as you turned around, now facing the steps. Taking steady steps forward, trying to support yourself before you fell to the ground from weak legs, you reached him, bending down and taking one of his hands in yours.

“Scott?” You said, shaking his body as tears came to your eyes. Your heart sunk when you didn’t get a response from the boy, and you shook him again, but with this time you shook him wildly, trying to scare him out of whatever haze he was in, “Scott!”

“Please Scott you gotta answer, wake up, please,”

Cradling your best friend’s body was not something that you ever wanted to do. Your arms were wrapped around Scott’s body, your head against his as you let out the tears, and despite the sobbing now over with, the tears never stopped. You were all alone, the warmth from Scott’s chest gone and leaving behind only a coldness that could never be filled by anyone else.

Ten minutes. That’s how long that you were cradling Scott’s body before Melissa showed up, and when you saw her, you couldn’t even speak. Your throat closed up as she saw the boy in your arms, eyes sheathed with tears that would be let out until the late hours of the night, heart too heavy to support itself.

She ran over, positioning him on the ground and pushing her hands onto his chest in rapid and quick motions. Opening your mouth to talk, you hesitated as you watched the mother try to grab some tiny piece of life out of her son, to pull it back out so he could hug her one last time, and your eyes got even glassier, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to bring my son back.”

“His heart stopped beating fifteen minutes ago. You can’t bring back someone who’s already dead.” You shook your head, eyes falling to your lap which was covered in your best friend’s blood.

“He isn’t dead. He’s my son. He’s an alpha!”

But was he really?

#teen wolf theo #theo raeken #theo raeken x reader #theo raekan imagine #teen wolf theo x reader #teen wolf #teen wolf x reader #cody christian #cody christian x reader #cody christian x you

72 notes · View notes

writingtoforgetreality · 4 years ago

Text

“Who is she?” (Alexander Calvert x Reader)

Request: I would like to ask for something where Alex and the reader are dating and the two are part of the Supernatural cast, and they fake a fight in front of Jensen, Jared and Misha, but it ends in a cute moment. That's it lol. (by anonymous), [Actors-Masterlist]

Summary: You could not find the script you needed for an important upcoming audition. Still, you had to start practicing or you would not perform well. Luckily, Alex was always there to help you with your lines. But what would happen if things got out of hand?

Words: 1,937

Warnings: language, mentions of cheating, argument, protective!Jensen, fluff, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

“Alex?” you were currently in your shared apartment in Vancouver. Searching for a very important script, you slowly started to go insane. You could have sworn you put it right on top of the coffee table. Why was it not there anymore? Maybe Alex had seen it.

“Yeah?” his scruffy voice made you look up. He came straight out of the shower, only a towel hanging low on his waist. On every other day, this sight would have been an invitation for you but you had to find this damn script.

“Have you seen my script? I put it right there.” you pointed to the place where you last saw it.

“Um, I don´t know...Are you sure you left it there?” Alex got closer to you and started helping you. First the living room, then the kitchen. Soon after, it felt like you searched through your entire apartment, without luck.

“(Y/N), it´s time to head out. We´ll be late.” he disappeared in the bedroom and came out seconds later in a black hoodie and gray sweatpants. Why bother wearing anything else when you had to change as soon as you were on set?

“Ugh, okay. I´m coming.” it did not make sense to you. You needed that script. There was a very important audition coming up. A big movie with TOM CRUISE. Yes, you heard that right. An action film where you would portray his love interest. This would be your chance to really start at Hollywood. Your role in Supernatural was the first start and the fans loved you a lot. Just like Alex, you came around for the 13th season. At first, you were only meant to stick around for a few episodes. Just some girl who was saved by Jack and brought back to the bunker. The fans seemed to like you and they almost immediately caught up on the chemistry Alex and you shared. When you started dating, the writers decided to make your character Jack´s love interest. Now, the last few episodes were about to air and you still had not found your next job.

Of course you worked on it to change that. Supernatural was your first acting job, you were not the most famous in this industry. Jared had already found his next role: Texas Ranger. Jensen will be a part of the third season of The Boys. You were incredibly happy for them but it also scared the shit out of you. If it took them this long to be cast in another project, how long would it take you? That was something you should not be thinking about during your ride to the set of Supernatural. You should start preparing for the upcoming scenes.

The first half of the day was very productive. Ever since the thought of shooting the LAST episodes has sunken in, the crew really wanted to bring the best out of every scene. Still, Jensen, Jared and Misha loved to mess with Alex and you. There had to be enough scenes for the gag reel, right?

As the director called for lunch break, all of you made your way over to the catering area. You were not hungry, thoughts still with your lost script. Maybe you should just give them a call to let them know that you needed another script. No, that would not leave a good impression.

“When do we continue filming today?” Jensen asked.

“Uhhh, around 3 pm, I think?” Jared´s answer was not really helpful. Most days he had no idea about your schedule. One of the reasons that made you love him even more.

“For once you´re right.” Misha threw in.

Everyone headed back to their trailers, wanting to prepare for the next few scenes and relax a bit.

“Can you practice with me?” you asked Alex as you were walking towards your trailers. You did not share those because they were very small to begin with.

“Practice what? We rehearsed our shared scenes, like, a hundred times last night.” he chuckled, amused by your uncertainty. He knew how you barely ever forgot your lines or broke character yet you still wanted to keep on running through your lines.

“Nooo, I mean for the audition. It´s next week and if I don´t start going through it now I´ll be even more nervous.” you came to a halt, waiting for his reaction.

“I thought you lost the script?” Alex turned around to look at you.

“Misplaced. Anyway, I know the story more or less. We could just improvise. Please?” your big (Y/E/C) looked at him in a way you knew he could never resist.

“In my trailer or-”

“Actually, I think right here, outside, would be perfectly fine.” your smile grew. You loved acting alongside Alex. This role was not meant to be his but he was always happy to help you with auditions. You did the same for him. Recalling what was written on the script, you tried your best to explain the story to him. It was easy, really, your character found emails from another woman, arranging meetings that go way back, like seven months. The scene you had to prepare for the audition was you confronting “Tom Cruise” which ended in a big fight.

“Got it?” you watched Alex´ face closely, looking for any misunderstandings. A nod from his head made you get into character.

“Hey, honey, I´m home.” your back faced Alex, your body language seemingly tense. He moved closer to you as you did not answer him. A hand was held out to touch your shoulder but as soon as it came in contact with you, you brushed it off angrily. Turning around with tears in your eyes, Alex was impressed by how fast you could make this role alive, without even saying a word. You truly were magnificent.

“DO NOT call me honey!” you managed to keep the tears at bay, thinking it would be better to let them spill a bit later.

“What´s wrong?” Alex gave you space, getting the sign of you not wanting to be touched by him.

“Oh, so you don´t have anything to tell me?” your arms crossed in front of your chest, your eyebrows raising, waiting for him to answer you.

“Um, I´m not su-”

“BULLSHIT! Bullshit.” the second part was barely above a whisper, showing that, despite everything you saw, you still cared for him. Loved him, even. Alex just stood there, knowing what your next words would be like.

“How long has this been going on?” your gaze was focused on the floor, not wanting him to see your tears that now started spilling.

“She doesn´t mean anything to me. You are the on-” but once again, Alex was cut off by your screaming.

“Did you fuck her?” your voice was small, not wanting to ask this question but desperate for the answer.

“Sweetheart, I-”

“DID YOU FUCK HER?” this time you screamed at his face. Your emotions were all over the place.

What neither Alex nor you noticed was Jensen, Jared and Misha storming out of their trailers due to hearing screams. When they saw the scene in front of them, they came to a fast stop. Did they just hear that Alex had cheated on their (Y/N)? Someone who was like a little sister to them? Jensen made himself ready to storm to you, wanting nothing more than to punch Alex. Jared and Misha, though, held him back.

“Yes.” Alex sighed. “But it´s not like she means anything to me.” he once again came closer to you. This time you did not protest. You were too exhausted to react to it.

“Who is she?” scared of what the answer would be, you took a step back but looked straight into his eyes.

“Cassie.” you read Alex´ face as regret but as soon as you heard him say the name you could have thrown up.

“CASSIE?! MY BEST FRIEND CASSIE?!” you lunged towards him and started punching his chest, too weak to do any damage, but you were angry and did not know what else to do.

That was too much for Jensen. He ripped himself free and ran towards you, Jared and Misha following close behind. A shove from the side made Alex and you separate. Suddenly you were pulled back by two strong arms. As you looked behind, you saw Jared holding you close to him. As you focused your gaze back to Alex, you were shocked to see him in Jensen´s grasp. You did not quite understand what Jensen was saying but it did not sound good at all.

“Jensen, stop!” you wiggled yourself out of Jared´s arms and ran to save Alex. You tried pulling Jensen away but he was too strong. Even Alex could not free himself.

“IT WAS JUST ACTING!” your scream erupted which made Jensen stop in his tracks. Slowly, he let go of Alex who coughed a few times.

“What?!” the confusion was written all over Jensen´s face.

“Alex and I were just practicing for my audition next week. You know, the one with Tom Cruise? I told you about that.” your heart was racing, your breathing too fast. Jared and Misha were already at Alex´ side, making sure he was not hurt.

“Shit, I´m sorry. Alex, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, all good.” he waved it off as if it was nothing. Typical Alex, you thought.

Suddenly you started laughing, replaying the scene in your head. Everyone looked at you weirdly but copied your actions soon after.

“Alex, he almost killed you.” by now tears were streaming down your face because you were laughing so hard.

“Hey, I didn´t even touch him.” Jensen complained.

“Oh yeah? Tell that my throat.” Alex stated sarcastically.

“That was acting?” Jared asked to which Alex and you only nodded.

“If you don´t get the job I´ll make sure to sue them, just so you know.” this time it was Misha who spoke up. This only made all of you laugh even more.

“Everyone back on set, please!” you could hear the director yell. Jared, Misha and you walked over, chatting and laughing about everything that just happened. Alex and Jensen, though, were a bit behind.

“Sorry again, kid. I really thought y´all were fighting. It sounded so real. You sure you´re okay?” he finished his sentence with a light chuckle, still somewhat ashamed of throwing himself at Alex like that.

“I´m fine, Jensen, really.” Alex laughed lightly. “Besides, now I know what happens if I ever hurt (Y/N) in any way.”

“You better take care of her and treat her like a princess. I´m serious.” Jensen had a stern look on his face but smiled anyway. You meant a lot to him and he could not bare the thought of anyone hurting you.

“I will. I promise.”

“Y´all coming or what?” you screamed at them from the other end of the set, waiting for the two of them so you could finally continue filming.

“On our way.” Alex said back, beginning to walk towards where you were standing. As he kept walking he thought about you again. How it was so easy for you to act out such a hard scene. Your talent amazed him. He really hoped you would land that role. From what he had seen so far, you were perfect for it. God, he loved you. It still had not sunken in that you were his. What did he ever do to deserve you? He knew he could not live without you and he would keep on reminding you of his love for you every single day.

Published (09/10/2020) by Cathy

Tags: @kalasyrtiaan, @blairrrose (thanks for your support <3)

257 notes · View notes

shotgun--rider · 4 years ago

Text

Rumor

A Jensen x Reader oneshot

Y/N’s never considered how many suspiciously snuggly photos there are of her and her best friend. Then they all come out in a Buzzfeed article, published just in time for everyone to grill her during her solo panel. Now what?

Word Count: 4000

Warnings: Really dumb fluff, everyone’s anxious, Jared and Briana are sick of everyone’s shit

A/N: This is dumb and fluffy and dangerously song-fic territory but it showed up and demanded to be written so here you go. I have no idea if this is actually any good. Enjoy?

---------* ---------

You were the epitome of normal, growing up. You had decent grades, run-of-the-mill hobbies, and an average high school cashier job. You could hop on your bike (and later, borrow your parents’ car) and take yourself to the coffee shop, or to a friend’s, and the only people that would look twice at you were drivers checking to make sure the kid on the bike didn’t steer into traffic.

You didn’t win any “most likely to” awards in the yearbook, your college major was undecided for an embarrassing length of time, and your 300-odd Instagram followers were comprised of friends and some polite acquaintances from welcome week. And you didn’t mind. You were perfectly happy to go through your day-to-day without turning heads and making waves.

That was all before you’d answered an open casting call on a whim, strapped for cash and mostly there because a sparkly website proclaiming “50 Easy Side Hustles!” had suggested spending your weekends as an extra if you lived in a big filming city. Before your three-episode contract in a show you’d never bothered to watch turned into a series regular.

Now, you’re pretty much guaranteed to have your face splashed across the internet every time you stick a toe off the end of your L.A. property line. Even if the paparazzi aren’t there to get you in Page Six with some wildly exaggerated nonsense, a fan somewhere will snap a blurry photo and upload it somewhere for people to shout about you in the comments section. You’ve never gotten used to being tagged in edits of your own face, or watching your follower count creep steadily upwards. You’re just… you. You’ve always been just the normal, average girl from a nothing-special hometown.

Even after your third year running on Supernatural, you still forget. You still make it all the way to the end of the block before you remember that the person shouting your name is the bodyguard you accidentally abandoned two errands ago. You still get confused when the restaurant wait staff stares at you, still get annoyed calls from your publicist begging you to at least try to appear in fewer coffee shop paparazzi pictures looking like a disgruntled zombie who’s never seen a hairbrush. (Sue you, you can’t be expected to be functional before a cup of coffee.)

You’re a brilliant actress, an unexpected fan-favorite, relatable to everyone in your autograph line...and you’re kind of a terrible celebrity. Unlike certain child models turned actors straight at 18 you may know, this isn’t a world you were trained in. Which is probably why it doesn’t even occur to you that being caught frequently in the company of your best friend might look like something until you’re staring at your own name in a headline on your phone screen, in line at Starbucks before your first panel of the con weekend.

Y/N L/N’s Secret Relationship With Co-Star Jensen Ackles, howls the bold-printed headline, and you blink stupidly at the letters, uncomprehending, until you realize that someone’s trying to get your attention. “Sorry, what?”

The barista looks impatient, suppressing an eyeroll and starting her spiel before cutting off halfway with a squeak. “Oh, my god, you’re her! I’m sorry, I’m just… you’re literally my favorite!” She’s blushing and stuttering and has a near-death grip on the empty coffee cup she was preparing to write your name on.

“Oh,” you reply, forcing the fog of confusion from your brain and slapping on a smile. “Hi, you caught me.”

“Can I...um…” the girl reaches into her back pocket and sheepishly produces her cell phone, complete with a flaming pentagram case. “Um, selfie?”

You smile indulgently, leaning over the counter. The fans are one of the best parts, really, and it’s never a hardship to make someone smile. (That is, when they’re not selling rumors and lies to the tabloids, you think grumpily.)

The barista girl pulls back with a wide smile and a full-face blush, and keeps glancing shyly up at you while she punches in your usual order, plus the second coffee Jensen texted you this morning to beg for. “So I guess Jensen’s around here too, then, right?” she asks perkily, taking your card.

“Uh...sorry, what?”

She shrugs like it’s obvious. “Since you flew in together,”

You blink rapidly, feeling stupid. You’re obviously missing the punchline somewhere. “We, uh...didn’t. I mean...I flew out of L.A.,” you say cautiously. Your home city is already public knowledge, as is the fact that Jensen lives in Austin, and you can’t imagine she doesn’t know this.

Her eyes pop wide with curiosity. “Wait, so you’re not staying with him?”

This conversation is too much for your poor, jetlagged, coffeeless brain. “No?” you try weakly, so far past confused at this point that you might actually be getting a headache. “Why would I…”

Not that Jensen’s Austin house isn’t lovely, and not that you’d object to staying there, and not that you haven’t stayed there plenty of times before, but you’re pretty sure you’re still missing the point.

The barista lunges forward over the counter, leaning in to ask in a hushed voice, “Did you guys break up?”

An emphatic “No!” leaves your mouth so loudly that the old man in line behind you starts grumbling. “No, you don’t--”

“Get a move on,” Old Man grouches in the background. “I don’t care who you are,”

“Oh, good,” the girl cuts you off with a relieved grin. “You guys are so cute, you know? I mean, I kinda figured you had to have something going on, but actually seeing it--it’s going to be so much cuter if Dean and Sierra ever kiss now, oh my god--”

She devolves into a squeal, and the we’re not actually dating dies on your tongue. You have better things to do this morning than correct the misinformation of one teenage barista, so you end up just shaking your head and taking the two cups of coffee wearily. “Right, well, I’ve gotta go, so--” you duck around the old man and beeline for the door before anyone can say anything else. Oh, god, your publicist is so going to kill you.

***

Jared and Jensen are both in the green room when you make it back to the convention hotel, and you groan softly as you walk into the room. Once Jared hears about your so-called relationship, you’re never going to hear the end of it. Then again, better he hear it from you than find it in the tabloids. May as well bite the bullet now before it comes up in a Q&A.

“Hey,” you slide up to Jensen’s elbow, holding out the requested coffee cup as a preemptive truce. “So, we’re apparently dating now,”

Jensen snorts, shaking his head and swapping the coffee cup into his other hand so he can wrap his arm around your shoulders in greeting. “Yeah, I saw that.”

“I think I may have given a barista the impression we’ve had a tumultuous breakup,” you say ruefully, tilting your head up to look at him in apology. “Sorry,”

Jensen’s green eyes are dancing, though, and he throws back his head and laughs, still keeping you tucked close enough that you can feel his whole body shake. “Of course you did, sweetheart,”

It’s pretty much the reaction you expected from Jensen, who’s so used to your antics at this point that he just gives you a fond smile and moves on to damage control. Jared, on the other hand, is...not commenting, and suspicion cuts short your quiet enjoyment of being hugged against Jensen. It took the boys a while to feel comfortable messing with you when you first got on set, but after they figured out you gave as good as you got, they’d never yet missed an opportunity to tease and prank you.

You squint at Jared warily. “Why aren’t you reacting?”

Jared’s lips immediately start twitching, but he makes a valiant attempt at a mock-concerned face. “Oh shit, sorry. Here, tell me again and I’ll pretend like I’m surprised this time,”

Unwilling to bother unwinding yourself from under Jensen’s arm, you extend a childish foot in the direction of Jared’s shins, scowling at him. He dodges easily, laughing, and tosses out, “Someone should really tell Buzzfeed they’re reporting really old news,”

“Shut up and drink your damn coffee, Padalecki,” you shoot back without any real venom.

“Oh, you mean my hotel coffee? The coffee I got stuck with because you only buy Starbucks for Jensen?”

Jensen straightens up proudly, no doubt making a face at Jared over the top of your head. “Y/N just likes me better. That’s why she’s my best friend.”

You roll your eyes, ducking under Jensen’s arm and a few steps away. “You both suck,” you deadpan, resisting an internal wince at the friendzone. “Now shut up and let me drink my coffee, I have to be on stage in fifteen minutes,”

And God, but your head is way too scrambled for a panel right now. Fifteen minutes is nowhere close to enough time to get your shit together, and you’re going to have to somehow walk out there and not let everyone know.

You take a seat halfway across the room, watching Jared and Jensen still standing there, heads bowed together, arguing quietly about something. Jensen’s starting to wear an annoyed expression and he still manages to look beautiful and goddamnit this is how you got in trouble in the first place.

You scroll listlessly through your phone, a headache beginning behind your eyes, and freeze when you realize that you left the damn article open. The headline photo is a picture of you and Jensen on a sidewalk in L.A., caught mid-conversation with Jensen’s hand on your back and a stupid, dopey look on your face while you stare up at him like he hung the moon. Fuck, you’re an idiot.

A hasty scroll through the rest of the article reveals more of the same, and you could kick yourself for making your dumb crush so obvious. The photo captions are practically mocking you, labelled with things like “an intimate evening for Ackles and L/N” and, under a picture of the two of you at a beach, “We might be a little mad that the two most attractive people are together”.

Well, at least now you know what every single question at your panel is going to be about. And somehow you have to figure out how to play this off like it’s nothing. Of course I don’t have a crush the size of a mid-sized whale on Jensen, hahaha, that’s such a hilarious idea!

Your only saving grace is that clearly, Jensen doesn’t think anything of it. It’s nothing more than a brief joke to him and Jared, and as much as that should bring you relief, it still stings to know that he’s obviously never bothered to think of you that way. And why would he? For all Buzzfeed’s nonsense about you making an attractive couple, Jensen Ackles miles above your league.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by Misha sitting down next to you, an easy smile on his face as he nudges your shoulder with his own. “So, welcome to the club,”

Typically, you and Misha are pretty close friends, but your patience is too short this morning for any of his shit. “What club?” you shoot back grumpily.

“People who the internet have declared in love with Jensen Ackles,” Misha returns, grinning like it’s obvious.

“Ha, ha. See, except when that happens to you, people think it’s funny,”

“It is funny,”

“Not for me!” you explode, belatedly wincing at your harsh tone. “You and Jensen fuck around on stage and that works for you. If I don’t get my shit together in the next five minutes, I’m getting my name dragged through stupid tabloids and laughed straight off the show because I couldn’t keep my goddamn stupid pathetic crush under control!”

“Hey,” Misha waits until you meet his blue eyes. “That’s not going to happen. Okay? It’s not,”

“Misha--”

“Y/N,” Misha returns firmly. “It’s going to be okay. Jensen would never let anything happen to you. And you don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to.”

You sigh softly, nodding. Rationally, you know he’s right. But mostly, as much as you’re worked up about the panel, your fear is that Jensen is going to be the one laughing at you, and you don’t know how to explain that. “Yeah,” you say dully, just as a convention worker comes forward to collect you.

“If it’s really going to shit, I’ll come distract everyone,”

“Somehow, I think that would be worse,” you shoot back over your shoulder as you start walking to the stage. Breathe, Y/N. You’re fine.

You wait for the introductions to finish and take your place on the stage, a slightly breathy laugh escaping into the mic as you look out at the crowd. That is a lot of eyes watching your every move. And they’re on your side, you remind yourself. It’s the fans who’ve been tireless supporters of you and your character, this whole time.

“Hey, guys,” you clear your throat. “What’s up?”

You chatter for a while about whatever you can think of, telling an edited version of the grumpy Starbucks man this morning and rambling a little about Jared’s latest on-set antics. All too quickly, though, you run out of things to say, leaving you with no choice but to ask for questions.

At first, to your great relief, they’re pretty tame. You spend a solid few minutes breaking down Sierra’s latest character arc, and the time she’s spending hunting on her own. You do get a few questions about whether she and Dean could get together when she gets back with the brothers, but as long as it stays firmly in the realm of your characters, you’re not worried.

“And what’s your name?” You ask gently, trying to reassure the nervous young woman at the microphone.

“Uh, Y/N…”

“I love that name!” you wink at her, rearranging yourself in the chair to be more comfortable. “What do you want to know, Y/N?”

“Uh,” she stutters, her face blushing pink. “You’re my favorite actress, and, I, um,”

“That’s very sweet,” you interject, nodding to encourage her.

“I just, uh, really want good things for you, and I just wanted to ask if, um, areyoureallydatingJensen?” she spits out all in one breath. “Cause you deserve him,”

You blink, shifting in your seat. You’d arrived at the elephant in the room. Damn.

“Uh,” escapes your mouth as you frantically try to construct a diplomatic sentence. “No, actually, no, we’re not.” I wish. “The, um, the article was a surprise to us too!” You added a little shrug in as punctuation, trying to play it off.

“But you guys look so cute together!” Other Y/N exclaims. “He looks at you like--” she cuts off, biting her lip so hard you can see the white from the stage. “Nevermind. Sorry.”

“No worries,” you assure her casually, like you’re not dying to know what she was going to say. “Next question?”

The next one up is another young woman, this time much bolder in her question. “But if you were given the opportunity, would you date Jensen Ackles?”

God, Chuck, literally anyone please kill me. “I don’t know how to answer this without getting in trouble,” you finally laugh nervously. “This is a dangerous question,”

The audience all laughs loudly, some of them throwing out comments and suggestions. “In the interests of not getting killed in my bed tonight,” you say lightly when they’ve quieted. “I’m going to skip that question,”

There’s really no saving you, though. After that first question, it’s like a dam has broken and everyone wants to know about your relationship with Jensen. What do you think of his house in Austin and does he cook for you and what do you do between takes and where’s your favorite place to go together. Someone even asks if you’re hooking up even if you’re not dating, which you’re positive turns your face completely purple before you get through redirecting that fan.

An hour later, you stagger off the stage mentally exhausted and thoroughly grumpy.

“Ouch,” Briana sympathizes, sliding up beside you as you grab a water bottle in the green room.

“Can’t wait for my dumb red face to trend on Tumblr,” you mutter, wondering darkly if you could just jump out one of the windows.

Briana laughs like she knows something you don’t, and rubs a hand over your back soothingly. “Come on, let’s get you out of your head before your photos,”

The two of you end up on a walk a few blocks from the convention hotel, fresh coffees in hand and Briana chattering away while you nod along. It’s not that you’re tuning her out, exactly, you’re just...overwhelmed. You do, however, notice when she stops talking.

“Are you listening to me?” she looks at you sharply.

“Sorry, B,” you mumble. “Got distracted. What?”

Briana shakes her head with loving exasperation. “I asked what you’re wearing to karaoke tonight,”

“I’m probably not going to--” you start.

“Oh, no you don’t. You can’t leave me there alone,” Briana interrupts, folding her arms across her chest.

“What do you mean, alone? Kim and Rich and literally everyone will be there,”

“You are not allowed to skip karaoke.” Briana says firmly, and you suddenly know how her daughter must feel when she’s misbehaved. “Besides, Jensen’s singing with Louden Swain beforehand. Don’t you want to see it?”

“Fine. But I’m wearing this,” you gesture to your plain black top and jeans. To be honest, you’re not sure if you actually do want to see Jensen perform, or bother with the rest of karaoke night. Mostly you just want to crawl into bed and put the covers over your head and pretend that you haven’t been making a fool of yourself all morning, but Briana is a force of nature when she wants something.

She smiles excitedly at your acquiescence, pulling out her phone for a moment to type something before you start heading back.

You nudge her teasingly with your elbow. “Your phone more exciting than me?”

Briana just slides it away hastily before you can read more than Jared’s name over her shoulder. “Just taking care of something.”

There’s something she’s not telling you, but you don’t feel like digging right now. You’re just focusing on getting to the end of this convention without spilling all your secrets and looking like an idiot.

By the time you’re sitting down in the seats for Louden Swain’s set, your face is indeed all over Tumblr. (You always deny having the stupid app, but sometimes a girl’s gotta know what people are saying about her and her hot costars.) There’s comments full of stupid speculation that you’re hiding your relationship, including a whole thread about how you’re clearly hiding your secret threesome with Jensen and Misha. Great.

“Uh, okay,” a familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts. Jensen’s on stage in front of the microphone, holding his guitar. “This was not part of my original plan, so...if this goes badly, it’s all Jared and Briana’s fault.”

The crowd laughs good-naturedly as your gaze snaps immediately to Briana. Infuriatingly, your friend just shrugs.

“This is a cover of a song neither of us wrote,” Jensen continues, gesturing between himself and Louden Swain behind him. “But I thought it could be fitting,”

He’s nervous, you realize, watching the way he’s fiddling with his guitar strap while he talks. But you have no idea what he’s doing. And you have no idea why he didn’t tell you. The two of you always know what stupid thing the other person is planning, especially stunts in front of the fans. But clearly not this time. With a sinking sense of dread, you wonder if maybe he does hate you a little bit after today, and that article. Maybe that’s why he’s not talking to you. You swallow hard against the sting in your throat, and Jensen starts playing.

The opening chords are definitely from a country song you vaguely recognize from the radio, and you wonder why this is Jensen’s choice over one of his own songs.

“Girl, you know I've known you forever / How many nights we hung out together,”

Across the room, Briana has an enormous smile on her face.

“My boys are laughing and tap me on the shoulder / Making a motion like, ‘Could y'all get any closer?’” He punctuates the words with a little scowl in Jared’s direction.

“There's a rumor going 'round about me and you / Stirring up our little town the last week or two / So tell me why we even trying to deny this feeling / I feel it, don't you feel it too? / There's a rumor going 'round, and 'round, and 'round / What d'you say we make it true?”

There are a lot of people suddenly making noise around you as they come to the same realization that you are, but you’re frozen in your seat. The rumor is you. He’s talking about you. Jensen’s singing for you. And you should be elated but your mind is stuck on a loop of what the fuck there’s no way this is real.

You don’t even realize that the song is over until everyone is clapping and you’re still stuck staring with embarrassingly wide eyes, Jensen up on stage with an embarrassed dusting of red across his face and a slowly deflating expression.

“Hey,” Jared’s elbow digs hard into your ribs suddenly. “Please do something. I can’t take any more of him like this,”

“What--oh--shit!” spills out of your mouth as you stand hastily, your phone tumbling off your lap. “I’m just gonna--”

By some miracle, you make it through the crush of people and around to the backstage area, your heart racing unevenly in your chest. You have no idea what you’re supposed to say, or if Jensen will be there, or if you’re even interpreting this right. Maybe it’s all just wishful thinking. No, Jared wouldn’t have encouraged you if that were true. Would he?

You’re so lost in your thoughts that you end up plowing straight into Jensen’s chest, his arm sliding automatically around your waist as you wobble off balance. “Shit, I’m sorry!”

He steadies you, green eyes searching your face with a flicker of vulnerability. “Hey,”

“Hey,” you whisper back. You have no idea what happens now.

With his free hand, Jensen rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Look, if that was too much--”

“No!” you shake your head quickly. “I’m sorry, I was just...processing. I...it was really sweet, Jen,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you confirm. “I just… me? Are you sure?”

“Why not you?” Jensen’s face wrinkles in confusion. He moves both hands to your waist, the warmth of his skin bleeding through your thin shirt as he tugs you closer. “Y/N,”

There’s something in you screaming that you might not get to do this again, that he’s going to come to his senses, that the whole thing is a dream, and before you can second guess yourself you launch yourself up onto your tiptoes and kiss him.

Your arms go around his neck while Jensen wraps you up tighter against his chest and it’s not fireworks, or earth shattering, or anything so dramatic. His mouth moving against yours just feels like home and love and of course. Of course you were going to get here, of course it was going to be like this.

Jensen lifts you off your feet for a moment before breaking the kiss, and he looks just breathless and flushed enough that you’re equal parts proud and turned on.

“Of course it’s you,” he murmurs, one hand under your chin to tilt your head up to him. “Of course I love you. You’re my best friend.”

------

Something ate my taglist! If you want to be tagged, please message me!

#supernatural #jensen ackles #supernatural rpf #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #spn #rpf #x reader #reader insert #oneshot

91 notes · View notes

yuta-nakamots · 4 years ago

Text

Candle Light - l.hc ; Part 2 of 2 (End)

Pairing - College!Haechan x Ghost!Reader

Genre - Fluff but mostly angst at the end

Warnings - Character death, supernatural activity (you are literally a ghost)

Summary - As the resident ghost that haunts your old apartment, you take pride in scaring away those who dare move in, not wanting them to ruin your memories. Though your mission changes after a group of boys arrive. These are the four boys you allow into your space and your heart. One of them is the candle that supports you, and you are the fire that burns atop it, his beacon of light.

Word Count - 6.2k

A/N - as always, credit goes to @soleilhyuck for coming up with the idea for this fic. thank you for patiently waiting and giving lots of love to this series and please look forward to frat boy!yuta next month as well <3

Tag List - @sunflowerhae @eunsangelical @soleilhyuck @neoyoungho @carefreebubble @sly-merlin @jisungismymom @jimelonji @lyraaacle @peachy-yabbay @yomanitsgonnabehee

January 2020

News about the new virus was quickly spreading, as was the disease itself, unironically. You sat next to Renjun as he watched the news on TV and played a game on his phone while Jeno was lying on the floor in front of the coffee table as he typed out an essay on his laptop.

You watched as the newscaster stood in front of a graph showing the number of cases spiking up as he said “all local colleges will be migrating to an online schooling system for the second half of this year” to which Jeno let out a loud groan at.

“How the fuck am I supposed to do all my labs then?” he muttered under his breath, angrily hitting the carpeted floor. You laughed at his childish action, Jeno’s head whipping around as he looked in your general direction with his pupils shaking as he tried to find a face to match the voice he had just heard.

“Hey y/n, I think Jeno can hear you,” Renjun said nonchalantly as he continued watching the news station on TV, “okay, Jeno wait I think you should pay attention to the screen.”

He informed the other boy just in time as the anchor said “certain schools have disclosed that some students may still be required to return to campus for activities such as labs or other assessment events.”

Jeno rolled onto his back, letting out another groan that was almost actually a growl. “I don’t know which is worse. Having to go to school during a pandemic, or having to learn from my computer 24/7.”

February 2020

As more plans for the second semester were announced, Jeno did end up having to still visit the campus for his labs so he was occasionally out along with Jaemin who was volunteering at a hospital nearby, the same one your body was taken to after the incident, not that you’d ever tell them that though.

Jaemin had convinced Renjun to come along saying “we need extra help and it’s not like you’re doing anything anyways now that class is online” as he quite literally dragged Renjun out the front door.

This left you with Haechan, who was only able to see you in certain instances because he was still not totally sure if you really existed or not. He still used the scented candles in his room, much to your distaste, since you found yourself having to put out the flame nearly every night due to his forgetfulness.

He’d spend almost every waking moment on his computer playing Overwatch and whatever other games he was into, only stopping when we had to attend his mandatory online lectures. Even then, he’d still have the game up on his screen, barely even caring about the lecture.

Eventually, this irritated you enough, having been quite a good student yourself, to the point where you just lost it when you saw him pull up his school account and you peered over his shoulder and realizing how bad his grades really were.

“You shouldn’t do that, you know.” You spoke to him, hovering behind him as you read through the contents of his student profile.

Haechan froze for a second, surprised by your voice though he didn’t make an effort to turn around. “Well, you shouldn’t just scare people like that.” He retorted at you.

“Then don’t take your college life for granted,” you remark, not missing the high amount of absences he had even though all his courses were online, “I would’ve loved to have completed mine, but that just didn’t seem to be in my life plan now, was it?” You asked rhetorically, your voice laced with sarcasm to match his.

“What are you gonna do about it, huh?” He spat out at you. “You can’t force me to study.”

You rolled your eyes at him even if he couldn’t see you as you scoffed, “yes I can.” Quite literally, you moved through his desk and unplugged his computer from its power socket. A satisfactory grin fell upon your face as you heard his monitor die out and you look at him. His mouth was slightly agape as he finally saw you up close, your previously translucent figure becoming clearer and clearer to him with every second that passed.

From then on, Haechan consciously made an effort to cut back on his gaming and dedicate more time to his schoolwork, as he hated not knowing when you’d decide to pop into his room again and he didn’t want to risk more damage to his precious computer.

Sometimes he’d spend so much time studying that he’d even fall asleep at his desk, to which you could only sigh at as you fanned out the flames of his stupid scented candles that he continued to use before grabbing his blanket from his bed and placing it atop his shoulders.

March 2020

You found that you actually quite enjoyed spending time with Haechan as he was more entertaining and witty than Renjun. Though on a particularly slow afternoon, you watched Haechan as he went about making a sandwich in the kitchen, making yourself known to him by a light tug on his shirt before he asked “so why exactly do you haunt this apartment?”

You were leaning against the kitchen island behind him, not even having bothered to materialize in your semi-human form since you let him pick and choose when he wanted to see you or not. “If I’m being honest, I really don’t know. All I’m sure about is that this unit is my unit. It always has been and it always will be.”

“Well, what are your ties to this place? What does it mean to you?” He pressed on as he grabbed a slice of bologna from the refrigerator.

After pausing for a second as you recall your past, you told him “this is where I grew up, my parents moved here when I started elementary school and I’ve lived here for almost twenty years until I died and ever since then, I’ve just been here.”

“I’m sorry,” he interjected, looking at you and making eye contact to let you know he was being sincere, “I really am. You had so much to live for, your whole life ahead of you.” He shook his head in pity as he unwrapped a piece of cheese.

“Things don’t always go according to your plan, as you can see,” you stated before continuing on with your story, “anyways, my family moved out shortly after my incident because my sister would always cry whenever she had to pass the spot I was last alive at and eventually my parents couldn’t take it anymore so they just up and left.”

Haechan was unscrewing the lid of the jar of mayonnaise when he asked “why didn’t you stop them? Or did you try but they just weren’t able to see you?”

“They couldn’t see or hear me. I tried calling out to them, telling them I was still here, I was still alive, but nothing worked...and so they left me behind.” Your voice trailing off at the end as you felt a familiar pain in your chest at the memory of your family.

Haechan hummed in acknowledgment, spreading pieces of lettuce over the top of his sandwich, going silent before speaking again. “I think you need closure. Do you know where your family went to? I’m pretty sure we could--”

“No, I’d rather not talk to them.” You interrupted, not wanting to witness your family in pain again after having to watch them mourn your death in this very apartment. To them, you were a thing of the past and you wished to stay that way.

“You can’t just be cursed to wander around this unit for the rest of your life, or lack thereof. That’s a bit…” he paused as he wracked his brain for a word, turning up blank, “sad, for lack of a better word.”

You watched as he placed a slice of bread on top and pressed it down before biting into his creation. “It’s not like it was my choice in the first place, you know,” you strongly articulated, “if you really wanted to help me then you’d leave this place and let me wander in peace now that you know my story.”

“We both know damn well that you’re not gonna be happy if we leave you on your own.” And the most surprising part of his statement was that he was right.

April 2020

After your previous conversation with Haechan, the two of you started avoiding each other and you ended up spending more time with Jeno when he eventually came around to being able to see you. He was more of an easygoing presence and he didn’t mind it when you stayed in his room, he just asked that you “don’t mess with my stuff like when you stacked all my books up and turned my clothes inside out” the memory of it still makes you laugh to yourself.

You felt bad for Jeno, seeing him come home already exhausted from his labs and lectures, letting out a loud sigh whenever he entered through the front door as he was finally able to take off his face mask and allow himself to take a deep breath of air.

You’d often find him dozing off at his desk, his face resting either on his arm or on whatever page he had been going over. Sometimes, if you knew the assignment was important or if the deadline was near, you’d try to keep him awake by doing this like clicking his book or dropping a book on the floor. But if he was really knocked out, all you could do was just plug in his electronics to let them charge before bookmarking his page and clearing his desk for him.

On the night of his 20th birthday, the boys decided to have their own mini-party, which you excused yourself from. You didn’t want to get in the way of their celebration since you didn’t know for sure where you stood with Haechan and that’s on top of the fact that Jaemin still didn’t believe in your existence.

You stayed in Jeno’s room, softly plucking at the strings of his guitar which he had kindly left out for you. He had previously voiced his worries about you getting bored from always staying in the unit, which you found quite cute of him.

He came back to his room around midnight and you watched as he drunkenly made his way to the bathroom, stumbling in and nearly tripping over his own feet. You heard him throwing up into the toilet but you stayed put, knowing that you wouldn’t be of much help anyway. You recognized the sound of Haechan’s voice as he entered from his own side and tried to clean Jeno up.

Moments later, Haechan came into the room carrying a near unconscious Jeno to the bed you were currently sitting on. All Haechan had to do was merely glance at you before you were already materializing in human form to put Jeno’s guitar back on its stand and help Haechan get the birthday boy into bed.

Once Jeno was tucked in and snoring, you looked up at Haechan and he nodded his head in the direction of his room, inviting you to come over with him, which you did without much hesitation. You sat on the edge of his bed as he started up his computer as he asked you “don’t you ever get tired of just staying in the apartment all the time?”

You watched as he typed in his login information as you responded, “kind of, I guess. It’s all I know so it’s not like I really have anywhere else to go.”

“Have you ever tried leaving the building, or this unit at all?” He inquired while pulling up a page on google.

You thought for a moment before answering him. “No, I’ve never really wanted to leave because I’m comfortable here.”

Haechan simply nodded and stated “fair enough” as he switched tabs before turning to you. “I found this article the other day and I think this is relevant to you.” He informed, beckoning you over to him. You moved closer and read it from over his shoulder.

Certain spirits roam the earth as ghosts due to their souls holding onto the regret they had while they were still living. It is common for these types of ghosts to stay in a place that they have special emotional ties to. They often try to scare away people who enter their sacred place as they are trying to preserve it as it is in their memory, resisting change. There have been successful cases of exorcism for these types of ghosts, though oftentimes, it serves to only anger them further, which is why exorcism is not recommended. Edit: It has been found that the spirits often pass on to the true afterlife once they let go of the regrets they are holding and free themselves from the baggage that is tying them to their sacred place.

“Haechan, I already told you, I’m not leaving.”

“But think about it, you can’t just continue existing with one foot in the afterlife, one foot in the during-life,” causing you to laugh at his wording, “aren’t there other dead people you’d like to meet? You know, like Michael Jackson or something?”

“Of course, but how would you know if there really is an afterlife where I could meet them?”

“I don’t, but aren’t you getting tired of just watching people come and go? Aren’t you curious about the existence of an afterlife? You’ve been here for what, two years?”

“Three years.” You corrected, though he was correct about your boredom and curiosity even if it really was just in the slightest form.

You weren’t looking forward to when the boys moved out as it meant you’d be left on your own again. You had grown used to the four of them since you had at least one of them home at nearly all times. You didn’t want them to leave and you had even though about asking them to stay, but you knew it would be unfair to them as they had previously talked about their future educational plans.

Renjun already was in the process of transferring to a school or arts to further hone his skills as he was nearing the completion of his traditional core credits. Jeno wanted to study abroad and experience different cultures while Jaemin simply would follow along, having promised both of their parents that he would look out for Jeno and make sure he didn’t overwork himself though oftentimes it was the other way around.

As finals came around again, you witnessed the boys and their ways of dealing with the stress of their exams. Renjun simply painted aggressively while Jeno started stretching and working out more often and Jaemin, who still wasn’t able to hear or see you, resorted to cooking. You couldn’t believe Haechan broke out those godforsaken candles yet again, even after you had voiced your hatred for them, having to put out their flames and clean up the dripping wax as to not cause a fire hazard.

One day, Jaemin was finally able to see a faint outline of your silhouette when you managed to catch the knife he had accidentally pushed off the counter while preparing dinner for the guys. He really didn’t believe them when they spoke of your existence, he simply thought it was some kind of odd prank they were all in on, but when he saw his knife floating mere centimeters above his foot, he realized they weren’t lying at all.

Ever since then, you’ve enjoyed hanging around with all four of the boys. They each introduced you to their hobbies and did their best at including you in as many activities as possible. Renjun was overjoyed when he saw you lift a brush from his case and when you asked if you could join him. He was painting a simple sunset and was more than happy to have your company. Renju let you paint any way you wished, only helping here and there to blend in your strokes and fix some of the color gradients.

After it dried, you stood back as he hung the canvas up in the living room with a broad smile on his face. He turned around and you watched as his expression morphed into one of confusion when he didn’t see you behind him and he called out your name. You felt a sense of anxiety creep up on you, reminiscent of the feeling of when your own family were not about to see you.

You knew Renjun had it easiest when it came to seeing and hearing you so why was he having a hard time now? “Oh, there you are.” He said, when you came into his view again, seemingly lightheartedly but it was hard for both of you to feel at ease after what just occurred.

It happened again when you were with Jeno as he was teaching you how to play a few chords on his guitar, something you had always wanted to do in your active lifetime. The two of you had been going at it for about an hour now and things were going pretty smoothly aside from Jeno having to help press the strings down when your own fingers weren’t enough.

You were able to learn a few simple chords separately but right before you were able to string them all together, the guitar suddenly fell through your hold into Jeno’s hands that were helping you apply pressure to the strings. He let out a noise of surprise as he too could no longer see your form.

He blinked rapidly, thinking it was his own eyes playing tricks on him until you saw him relax as both of you witnessed your own body flicker back into existence. This time, there was definitely no denying what just happened.

Later that night you went to Haechan and told him both accounts of what was going on and you broke down in tears, telling him how you didn’t want to leave them just yet. He rubbed your back as you clung on to his shirt, your tears would’ve been soaking it if you weren’t a ghost.

As much as you wanted to stay in his embrace, he told you that he had to study for an upcoming final so you instead settled for lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling as you let your mind wander through all the what-ifs going through your head.

You’re not sure how much time passed before Haechan finally climbed into his bed, throwing an arm over your waist. No sooner than before he lifted his head to speak to you, his arm dropped through your body and fell onto his bed. The shock was evident on his face as he watched you fade out from his view.

Haechan frantically reached out, trying to grasp onto something, anything to tell him that you were still there as he called out your name. You did the same to him, but your cries fell on deaf ears until one of your hands managed to grab ahold of his and he found your eyes, the fear in his mirroring your own.

You laid with Haechan as he slept that night, scared that you’d cease to exist if he weren’t by your side to validate your presence every so often.

May 2, 2020

One night, as all of you were in the living room watching a show on Netflix, as per Renjun’s recommendation, you mentioned these repeated occurrences to them causing a thick silence to fall over everyone as they processed what this possibly meant for you.

Again, you sought out Haechan’s comfort that night and stayed by his side as he slept because being with him made you feel the slightest bit more real, even when his arm dropped from your waist again.

Now that finals week was over, the boys were home more often, though Jaemin still continued to work and volunteer at the hospital with Renjun, leaving you with Jeno and Haechan. Not much changed as you still continued to stick to Haechan like glue.

May 14, 2020

About two weeks after you had first brought up the topic of your frequency disappearances, you were lying next to Haechan in his bed as you both watched videos on his phone. He abruptly turned it off and turned to face you. “Have you ever been in a relationship before?”

You shook your head, “no, I was always too bust for one.”

“Did you want to be in one? Do you want to be in one?” You froze as you looked at him, not sure if he meant what you’re thinking he means. “On a scale from one to ten, how mad would you be right now if I told you I might have feelings for you?”

You thought for a moment before responding. “Depends on if you’re being serious or not.”

“I’m dead serious. Okay, maybe not dead, but you know what I mean.” He said, poking fun at his word choice.

“Do you really like me?” You asked, unsure if you were thinking clearly.

“Yes,” he paused, “but only if you like me back.”

“Is this just a spur of the moment thing or have you actually had feelings for me before this?” You could feel your cheeks heating up and you were suddenly grateful that he couldn’t see you as if you were a normal human.

“For a while now.” He stated, shrugging his shoulders as if it were nothing.

Your eyes grew wide in shock. “I...Haechan, as much as I’m flattered, we both know it’s not going to work out,” your voice getting caught in your throat, “you’re human, you’re still alive. There’s someone out there for you--”

“Okay and?”

“There’s someone who you can hold, someone you can kiss and make love to, someone you can have a family with--”

“And what if that someone is you?” He interrupted again. “What if you’re the someone I want to hold, to kiss, to spend time with?”

“Haechan...I don’t know…” Your voice coming out as more of a whisper.

His eyes searched yours as he spoke. “Just let me kiss you...please.”

You let out a small “okay” as your eyes fluttered shut and you felt his lips meet yours. He showed you the warmth you didn’t know you could even feel as you allowed yourself to melt into his kiss. Had it not been for your body disintegrating again and causing Haechan to fall forward, you probably would’ve stayed kissing him until he was begging for air.

“I guess that’s the universe telling me to give you a break for a bit.” He chuckled while he grabbed his phone and unpaused the video he was playing earlier as he waited for you to appear again. You didn’t have to look at him to know there was a smile plastered on his face as you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your face into his chest the very second you could.

If you were considered to be clingy with Haechan, now you were practically inseparable.

May 17, 2020

It was a rare occurrence for all four of them to be home together during the day so Jaemin took it as an opportunity to gather everyone for lunch. He didn’t even knock as he opened the door to Haechan’s room, sticking his head in to say “lunch is ready. I made kimchi stew. Oh, hey y/n, haven’t seen you in a while.”

You whined in embarrassment due to the fact that you were currently seated in Haechan’s lap as he practically held you like a baby, cooing at you and littering kisses across your face.

Once Jaemin was gone, Haechan pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed. You know that?” He said, ruffling your hair out of affection.

May 19, 2020

You watch with great interest as Haechan lugs a box into his bedroom and cuts it open, revealing an electronic keyboard. He had told you previously that he wanted to get back into playing piano, having played it when he was younger. You didn’t think he was actually serious enough about it to buy a whole keyboard which, from the looks of it, seemed pretty expensive.

You sat in his gaming chair as you watched him assemble the stand, handing him scissors when he asked and holding things in place when his own two hands weren’t enough. You didn’t trust yourself to do much else in case you randomly disappeared again. Your lips curved upwards as he plugged the keyboard into the socket on the wall and played a few chords, his own smile matching yours.

May 20, 2020

Sighing, you floating your way into Haechan’s room as you notice his sleeping figure hunched over his desk, a little string of drool landing on the lined paper he was writing on. Given that school was already over, you figured it was song lyrics that he was writing.

Haechan, along with getting back into playing piano, had also picked up song composition and lyric writing as well though he refused to show you any of the lyrics he wrote and claimed he’d be embarrassed if you saw them to which you rolled your eyes at. Haechan? Embarrassed? Now that was a rarity given that he was one of the most confident people you’ve ever met, not even bothering to cover himself up the few times you accidentally came in while he was changing his clothes.

But as confident as he was, he had yet to channel that into his lyric writing as he kept falling asleep after hours of trying to get them perfect. You fan out the candle he had been using and run your finger across his lip, gathering his drool, in order to prevent his from further wetting his paper.

You tried to slowly pull the paper out from under his head, doing your best to not wake him up, though your efforts were in vain as his eyes shot open the second you tugged a little too hard. It took Haechan only a second or two to figure out what you were doing before he snatched the paper from you while whining “I told you not to read them” as he puts it in a folder filled with other papers which you assume are also lyrics.

“I was only moving it so you wouldn’t drool on it like a baby.” You scoffed at him.

Haechan imitated your scoff back at you, “don’t lie,” he quipped, “I know you were going to read it as soon as you got your hands on it.”

“You know, you better quit it or else you’re sleeping alone tonight.” You threatened, knowing that your boyfriend of sorts has gotten used to your presence in his bed while he slept.

“No!” He exclaimed, his eyes growing wide in panic before he dove for his bed and gave you puppy eyes, begging you not to leave him.

May 25, 2020

At this point, your disappearances had become more frequent and lasted for longer durations, leaving the boys constantly guessing as to where you were. You could barely muster up the force to show yourself in your human form and physically move objects so you were glad when you realized they could all see you in your regular blue-tinted ghost state.

You considered yourself lucky when they told you they could still feel the gusts of wind you created while moving around, even when you became invisible. It may look stupid to you when you were rapidly moving your arms back in forth to let them know where you are, but it’s not like you cared when you knew they couldn’t see you anyways.

On this day, you were watching a show on TV with Renjun, though he could only vaguely sense your presence. When you heard the sink in the kitchen turn on, you left your seat and floated through the wall to see if it was Jaemin cooking again. Much to your surprise, it was Haechan who was actually doing the dishes for once.

You moved around behind him, alerting him of your presence. “Hey babe, came to do the dishes with me?” You rolled your eyes and rapidly fanned his neck, something you knew he hated because he was ticklish in that area. “Okay, okay, I get it.” He giggled while scrunching his neck.

“Is y/n with you in the kitchen?” Renjun called out from the living room. Haechan shouted back a short ‘yes’ to which you heard Renjun respond back with a slight laugh in his voice, “I thought she was still with me so I was talking about the show but I guess I was just talking to myself this whole time.”

May 29, 2020

No matter how much energy you concentrated, you just couldn’t seem to show yourself in your human form at all. You weren’t completely invisible to the boys yet, just fading in and out of your normal ghost forme every so often, though if you really tried hard enough, you could force yourself to become visible again, even if it were only for a few seconds. You saved your energy for more important moments like when Haechan shot up from his place next to you in bed, sweating from the nightmare he was having.

For the past half hour or so, you watched him as he writhed in his sleep and you felt your heart wrench knowing there was nothing you could do to rouse him from his sleep, unable to do your normal actions of slamming windows or dropping books so you felt a sense of relief when he jolted awake and looked over to where he knew you’d be, his eyes searching for the outline of your body to give him some comfort.

You forced yourself to show up, glowing faintly in the darkened room as Haechan was able to catch your silhouette before it disappeared again. His eyes bore straight into yours, even if you knew that to him, he was simply staring at a wall so you didn’t move, not wanting to leave his gaze as he spoke to you.

“Y/n, I hope you know that every moment I spend with you is precious to you. Whether I can see you or not, I know when you’re with me.” He confessed, his eyes starting to tear up. “I can only hope that I am making your last moments precious for you as well.”

You hoped so desperately to have enough strength to show yourself again to let him know that you heard him and felt the same way, but you were unable to. Your own wet eyes mirrored his as you reached out a hand to cup his face, a tear slipping out of your eyes as you watch your hand merely fall through his cheek.

June 2, 2020

You’ve come to terms with the fact that your time on earth is running out when you can only seem to manage to materialize once or twice a day, lasting for only about a second each time. You were upset that you didn’t get to say a true goodbye to the other three boys, wanting to thank them for taking such good care of you. Maybe you just so hoped that this regret would keep you with them longer, if only for a few more days.

June 4, 2020

When Haechan returns to his room after eating breakfast with the rest of the guys, you watch as he sits down in front of his keyboard before turning around to face his bed, where he’s guessing you were as he spoke. “Y/n, I wrote this song for you. I don’t know how much longer I have left with you so I rushed the ending of it, but I wanted to show you now before it’s too late.”

With that, he turned back around and began playing a melody you had heard from him before though it was different this time around now that he was singing the lyrics he wrote for you.

Like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Moments with you are always special. I’m thankful for all the days we spend together, At times like this I get shy, but it means I love you. When I see you brightly smiling and dazzling, My wish of us being together forever seems like it’ll come true. I know the future isn’t clear and the past might be sad, But don’t worry anymore. Just keep adding days like this. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I only have plans filled with you, I think it’s perfect. In my heart, my dreams were possible through you, I want to fulfill them all with you. I’m not alone, I’m with you, When I needed someone, you came to me. Even in the ordinary, I celebrate your preciousness, Please always stay by my side.

I want to give you gift-like days, you and me, me and you baby. Without leaving behind a single day, it’s only us. Like candlelight that never goes out, My wish of us being together forever seems like it’ll come true.

June 5, 2020

If you’re being completely honest with yourself, you’ve practically given up trying to make your whereabouts known to the boys, though they continued to speak to you as they estimated your location and if you were even present in the same room or not.

You wanted to tell Haechan how much you loved the song he wrote, but you were unable to. You wanted to do something for his birthday but you barely had enough strength to walk yourself from the balcony back into his room.

For the first time within the last four years of your existence, you felt tired. You had forgotten this feeling, what it was like to be tired and suddenly you remembered when all you wanted to do was lie down and sleep.

It was late already, the digital clock on Haechan’s desk reading 11:48pm as he stepped out from the bathroom, freshly showered. You eyed him, wanting to get up and kiss him all over, to give him the same love he gave to you, and you felt so helpless when you knew you wouldn’t be able to.

He lay down in his bed with his hair still slightly wet. “Can you believe it’s already been a whole year since we first moved in?” He turned his head, guessing at where your face was but returning his gaze to the ceiling to not make you feel bad before continuing on. “I never would’ve believed in ghosts if I hadn’t met you but now I’m always gonna think all ghosts are as sweet as you and that’s not good,” he said as he let out a laugh at the end, “I’m going to get myself killed if I try talking to a ghost that isn’t as kind and loving as you.”

Haechan went silent for a bit before continuing on. “But you would never let that happen right? You’ll be my angel watching down on me from above,” he paused as a sly smile appeared on his face, “or you’ll be my little demon waiting for me in hell.” He snicked to himself at his joke. “Ah, you’re probably trying to hit me right now. Don’t worry, I’ll do it myself.” And with that, he slapped his own cheek before telling you “I really love you and I hope you know that.”

June 6, 2020

As soon as the clock’s display changed to 12:00am, Haechan’s door burst open, revealing the other three boys with party hats atop their heads as they carried in a small cake with two candles on it, showing his new age of twenty. They began singing happy birthday and you even sang along with them, clapping your hands to the beat, even if they couldn’t hear you.

“Make a wish!” Renjun exclaimed once the song was over.

Haechan clasped his hands together as he closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Y/n, I know you’re still here. Before you go, please do this one last time for me.” He reopened his eyes and looked over at where he assumed you were and gestured towards the cake. You felt your heart swell with love as you took a final glance at him before using all your remaining energy to blow out the candle.

When the flame of the candle went out, so did your view of the world. Everything faded to black as your fire was extinguished, letting you rest in peace as Haechan’s candlelight.

122 notes · View notes

angelofthequeers · 4 years ago

Note

What brought you into salting for ML, and what led you away from it? You’ve written some things that were very salty in the past, and more recently written that you were ashamed of those things, and now work to combat salt and write positive things. What brought about the change? And I’m sorry if I sound accusatory, I’m genuinely curious.

No, you don’t sound accusatory at all! I’ve been trying to avoid talking about it because I’d have to name specific people but honestly? I don’t even care anymore. I’m done not calling people out just because I was afraid of them sending their groupies after me. (I wish I could put this under a read more but my laptop charger is fried and idk how to do it on mobile 😭).

So when I was new to the fandom, I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what opinion I should have about things. All I knew was tha I was coming from Supernatural, where I’d started to criticise a LOT of things about it, which was my mindset coming into ML. And the biggest and most popular bloggers were the Big Four, as I took to calling them: zoe-oneesama, lenoreofraven, gale-of-the-nomads and nobodyfamousposts. There were others, like miraculouscontent and jacquesthepigeon, and these were the dominant voices in the fandom from where I was. And if they’re the dominant voices and they’re being what I see as critical, of course I’m going to assume that they’re in the right. Not to mention that I’ve always had a problem with idolising people I see as cooler than me, so that definitely didn’t help. Plus they seemed to be Enlightened, claiming x and y were racist and problematic, and I was so desperate to be unproblematic that I didn’t stop and realise that they were the ones being problematic in the first place and just projecting the blame onto others to deflect from themselves. The racism in Zoe’s Scarlet Lady comic in particular is particularly disgusting and I’ve vented about it in private more than once, but it’s okay because it’s improving the show.

(Never mind that you can be critical of something and still enjoy it. Critical doesn’t equal salty as fuck. That’s something I’ve finally learned and I’m happy loving and gushing over the show while still pointing out where it needs to improve)

I eventually ended up joining a salty Discord and that’s what actually ended up pushing me away from salt, because it was so...bad. Everyone was egging each other on and encouraging each other to be salty and toxic about the show and I was starting to resent the show, and why should I waste my energy on something I hate? Salt legitimately very nearly killed my love for not only this show but children’s media in general, which was also why I left SPN because I was done with the constant gritty darkness. I wanted to love Adrien, I wanted to love Alya, I wanted to love the show, but I was being bombarded with Perfect Princess Saltinette and Perfect Boyfriend Loocah and Kickass Queen Chloé/Kagami (whichever one the author liked) and it just...all got internalised and reinforced. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to love Adrien and Alya and the show or I’d be doing something wrong, because clearly these fans knew better than I did.

And then we come to Défenseure. At the time of writing it, I legitimately didn’t mean for it to be overly salty. I intended for it to be like ‘Little Devil’, where the characters were fucking up but they stopped and learned lessons, albeit through the salter lens of what those lessons should be. Adrien was never going to lose his ring. He was just going to get a stern talking-to and end up apologising to Ladybug (despite that itself being exaggerated bc of how salters see him). But the Discord kept going and going and egging me on and providing “support” when I got negative feedback, and I let them push me to the point of full salt. And that’s when I stepped back and realised that I hated it. I hated being here, I hated interacting with the fandom, I hated writing. So I bowed out and never looked back.

But it’s not that simple. I was invited to another Discord by someone who, I will give a smidge of credit, did help pull me out of that dark place. But I didn’t realise that GalahadWilder was predatory and just outright yuck and literally manipulating me, especially with how he used his own autism to connect with me and empathise in a way that non-autistics couldn’t. Again, I couldn’t read people and I didn’t realise that I was being played until I ended up embroiled in another fandom drama. The less said about that, the better, but anyone who’s been around for any length of time knows what Drama I’m talking about.

And somehow, that ended up being even more toxic than the salt. We were actively attacking the showrunners (doxxing and then deleting to save face aka “do damage control over an impulsive mistake”), jabbing at other fans who I won’t name, constantly screenshotting one specific person (who legitimately is disgusting and hated by most of the fandom) and laughing at how pathetic they were, even going to one side of the drama and sending anons to try and pin the blame on the other side. And granted, I didn’t actively participate in most of this, but I still sat there and watched and laughed and believed the manipulations. It wasn’t until I got sick of this drama and someone informed me of the true nature of it (because I definitely wouldn’t have gotten involved and supported who I did if I’d been told the whole truth) that I left, but even then I still had people from both sides of the internal drama in that Discord messaging me and trying desperately to get me to believe them, and it was just. Too much.

Fandom’s supposed to be fun. Fandom’s supposed to be an escape. And yet I was ending up in more drama than a reality TV show because people were playing me like a puppet and I was sick of it.

But I’m in a healthier place now in the fandom. I’ve found the balance between roasting and being outright cruel; between criticising the show and spewing salt over it. And while I do hate what I’ve written and the drama I got messed up in, I’m grateful in a way. Without my salty writing, I wouldn’t have found that I hate doing it. Without that drama, I wouldn’t have found the true natures of certain people and I wouldn’t have made the friends I have now, like ladybuginettes, emsylcatac, amimons, bugabisous and yeet-noir. We jokingly call me a babie egg because I’ve been reborn as sugar and sweetness 😌 Especially since joining APS, which has let me actually love Adrien and even other characters like Alya and shower them in the positivity that I wanted to in the first place.

So, uh...yeah. That’s how I went from being a salty bitch to wanting to be more positive and sugary. And at least now I’m disillusioned enough that I just. Don’t idolise anyone anymore 🤷🏽‍♀️

#ask #aotq answers #miraculous ladybug #ml fandom salt #yeah I named names here #i’m just #done with everything

47 notes · View notes

eatsleepandsupernatural · 4 years ago

Text

15x18 Despair (SPOILERS!!)

There’s something I need to get off my chest about the most recent episode and how people are reacting to it. Now in my opinion the divide between Destiel shippers and those who prefer that the relationship between Castiel and Dean is and stay completely platonic can be likened to the divide between US republicans and democrats supporters. The arguments seem to be never ending, and if I didn’t have requests to fill and a Series to fix, I would probably stay off tumblr for a year. I honestly would have been happy with either ending, and I’m sitting here watching WW3 start all because of a declaration of love.

1. For those who are disappointed in Dean’s reaction/Jensen's performance, did you really expect Dean to say “OMG I love you so much Cas, you’re the light of my life”? He’s never even said a direct “I love you” to Sam, the only time he’s allowed himself to be that vulnerable was when he said he loved Sam for trying to save him in 14x11 (Damaged Goods) or of course when he talked about hell (but that’s a little different). He keeps his emotions close to the chest and lashes out (or drinks himself to oblivion) when things get too overwhelming. Now as for the whole Cas dying part of the episode, this certainly isn’t the first time in a TV show or movie that someone has declared their love for another person and then sacrificed themselves to save them. The fact that people are trying to pick at the scene and label it as homophobic is really pissing me off. We have seen, over and over again, Cas jump in front of Sam and Dean to save their lives, so this sacrifice is not out of character and we knew he was going to die the moment he made that deal with the empty.

2. Furthermore, no one on Supernatural has EVER BEEN HAPPY, so why would that change now!? From season 1 it was clear the supernatural was not a happy ending sort of show, yet you’re all causing a fuss because Cas dies once he experiences a true moment of happiness in sharing his feelings with Dean? Aren’t you happy when you share your feelings with someone you love?

3. This is not homophobic writing, it’s simply the depressing pattern of supernatural. It happens every time the boys find happiness or settle down with someone; Lisa, Amelia, Jessica. So calm your farm. The writers thought that they were giving you what you wanted, they gave you a beautiful heartfelt confession and very supernatural-like ending. Nothing homophobic too it. As someone who sits on the fence, who appreciates the Destiel ship but wouldn’t have minded either way, I can say with confidence that I loved the way the episode ended, as much as I hated the fact the Cas died (we all knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it any easier).

Sorry about this, everything I was reading was getting on my nerves and I felt that I had to say something. The actors and the writers did this for us, for the fans, and for the diehard Destiel shippers and all they are getting in return is a lot of hate.

To make up for my rant, a very angsty, very emotional Demon!Dean x Reader, Dean x Reader fic is coming very soon.

#supernatural #15x18 #supernatural spoilers #destiel

30 notes · View notes

pnf-lover98 · 4 years ago

Text

ML - The Greatest Discovery

(a.k.a. my headcanons about the whole “how did Gabriel, Emilie and Nathalie meet” topic)

Teenage Nathalie Sancoeur is a big fan of myths and the supernatural, and she even has a few theories herself about the existence of some mysterious, magical pieces of jewelry. As she progresses with her research for data, pretty much like Alya does with her own theories about the past Miraculous holders, she becomes more and more convinced with her theory.

During the last year of high school, she attempts to found a “Paranormal Club” at school, hoping to attract some fellow paranormal lovers; she’s never been lucky when it comes to friendship, and it can be a chance to meet people of her own kind who she will finally be able to make friends with. However, only two people show up at the meeting she organized and advertised through her flyers; Emilie and her twin sister Amelie. Emilie states that she’s only there to accompany her sister, but tags along with the two girls anyway.

The twins seem to get along well with Nathalie, and they let her into their group of friends. After a few Club meetings, Emilie brings with her her boyfriend Gabriel, explaining that he too enjoys discussing about paranormal creatures and findings. Bonding over theories and monster sightings, Gabriel and Nathalie make friends rather quickly. Way too quickly in Amelie’s mind, who warns her sister saying that she should keep an eye on the other girl.

Emilie, jealous of her ‘friend’, starts to keep Nathalie as far as possible from her boyfriend, eventually estranging her from their clique. But she can’t just force her boyfriend to stop seeing his new friend; it would make her look too suspicious. So, for the time being, she has to endure Nathalie’s presence.

But her patience doesn’t last long, and one day Emilie and her sister intercept Nathalie as she’s about to leave school, blocking her way. “You’re nobody, starlight,” Emilie tells Nath, pushing her against the lockers. “You’re just a nerd who rambles about weird stuff. I am the one who had mercy on you and let you in my group! So, show me some respect and stay away from my boyfriend!”

Nathalie, not at all afraid of Emilie, grabs the girl by her arms and pushes her back, freeing herself from her grip.

She’s accusing her unfairly, the girl replies; she’s not trying to steal Gabriel from her. At all.

Then, she tells the two sisters that she’s not scared of them, and that now that she sees their true colors, is more than happy to never see them again. Nathalie picks up her things and walks away, with Emilie still shouting threats at her from the distance.

- - - - -

The Paranormal Club disbands, and its members take different roads; Emilie begins her career as a model, Gabriel slowly starts to get famous as a fashion designer, and the twins get closer and closer as friends to the notorious bully of the high school they used to attend, Audrey.

Nathalie goes on to study Economy in college, and there she meets Tomoe, an exchange student from Japan.

A few years pass, but Emilie never truly forgot about that absurd “magical jewels” theory that Nathalie seemed to believe in. In fact, she finds herself thinking more and more often about it; if it were to be true, who knows what power getting her hands on one of those jewels could grant her!

When Gabriel, now her husband, states that he is starting to need some help with managing his growing fashion business, Emilie - reminding him about her dear old high school friend’s great sharp mind and sense of responsibility - suggests him to hire Nathalie as his assistant.

Her old rival is now back in their lives, spending even more time with Gabriel than she used to, but that is a price she can pay if it means that the three of them can resume their researches on the Tibetan magical secrets. To Emilie’s delight, it seems that Nathalie’s research has by now progressed enough as to individuate a narrow possible area where the magical artifacts could be.

Still jealous of her friend, however, Emilie has to find away to keep her in her place; as early as on her first day of work, she tells her that (even if they almost grew to become close friends in school) she has to calls her and her husband ‘Mrs. and Mr. Agreste’, because she now works for them and she has to respect them as her employers.

- - - - -

Being promised a good reward once they’ll be back in Paris, Audrey takes part in the mission by financing the expedition but refuses to actually travel to Tibet, while Tomoe (thanks to her family’s friends’ business) provides the technical equipment needed (radars, metal detectors etc.) and embarks on the journey with Nathalie and the two Agreste spouses.

Once they arrive in Tibet, the four of them discover that the Miraculous jewels indeed exist; Gabriel and Emilie, on their excursion, find two of said jewels and a mysterious book about superheroes.

Emilie wears the Peacock brooch, eager to test its powers, and creates a sentimonster, but there’s already an activated amok out there (Feast, albeit dormant) and the excessive magical strain caused by the two amoks damages the Miraculous. Terrified by their own creation, Emilie and Gabriel run away, dropping the amokatized object, back to the base camp. There, the four travelers try to fight the monster together, but even if eventually they manage to defeat the creature and free the amok, Tomoe gets badly wounded.

Back in Paris, Emilie wants to keep the loot only for her and her husband. So, she tells Tomoe, who was unconscious at the time the monster was defeated, that the jewels they found got lost during the fight.

[However, down the line, Tomoe will find out that she was lied to, and, feeling betrayed, will cut bridges with the Agrestes]

To get rid of Audrey, who has never even met Tomoe and Nathalie in person, Emilie tells her that the mission was unsuccessful, and that it brought out no new information about those ‘alleged magical artifacts’.

Hungry for power and motivated by a personal secret project that involved sentimonsters, Emilie keeps using the Peacock brooch even if it’s causing her to feel more and more ill.

Nathalie, watching as the woman’s health slowly deteriorates, can’t help but to feel more and more sorry for her; Emilie is blinded by her search for power and fame, unable to see how much her stubbornness and carelessness is affecting the people around her. The people Nathalie grew so fond of over the years.

#miraculous ladybug #the tales of ladybug and cat noir #my ficts #headcanon #gabriel agreste #nathalie sancoeur #emilie agreste

26 notes · View notes

virginbutstillahoe · 4 years ago

Text

supernatural: an essay

hello fellow clowns.

i need to get some things off my chest, so here we are. read it, don’t read it, it’s up to you buttercup. love you.

i’ve been watching since i was 11. since 2009. this show raised me.

my father was a really bad guy. i’ve alluded to it a few times on here but, he was a really abusive and horrible man. so, i leaned on this show. it taught me, that even with an abusive father and a difficult hand dealt to me, that i could keep fighting and find the family that i could call my own.

it taught me that family didn’t end in blood. you control your destiny. love is stronger than your crap life. don’t give up, baby.

i am angry about the finale. enraged even. but i still love this show and the actors and crew members that made it possible. that will never change. this show is what pulled me from the ledge more times than i can count. made me laugh when i thought i never could again. did more for me than words can describe to be perfectly honest.

you may say, molly, it’s a stupid show with bad special effects and sometimes bad acting, there’s no way it’s that special to you. and to you i say, i am so sorry for you that you don’t know what it’s like to love and enjoy something with your whole heart.

----

now, dean winchester is my favorite character of anything ever. yes, castiel is a CLOSE fucking second, but dean is just god tier for me. he is so human and so much like me. he is the main thing that made me realize, hey, it’s okay to take your time in growing and to be damaged. it’s okay to be flawed. he is everything castiel said in his final moments and more. a true lover. a man who would put his family (blood relatives and non blood relatives) before anyone or anything.

destiel aside. it is OUT OF CHARACTER for dean winchester to not immediately ask for jack to bring cas back as soon as he had all of god’s power. completely. jesus christ he even asked GOD to bring him back.

to continue, dean not asking to see cas as soon as he finds out that he’s not in the empty? you have got to be kidding.

i am a destiheller. i won’t even try to lie here, i am. but seriously, let’s just say for the sake of the argument, that dean isn’t in love with cas. still, dean winchester would have wanted to see his best friend. cas died. dean would have wanted to find him and hug him immediately if he knew he was around.

jesus, didn’t you see him when he found cas in purgatory?

there is literally NO reason that castiel wasn’t present in the finale. zero.

----

i am okay with dean dying for the ending. i actually really am. i liked the idea of dean dying to save two children, and doing what he loved. but immediately after they defeat chuck? why? couldn’t he have had a few years of joy? of freedom? why, after everything they’ve been through, did they continue to punish this amazing man, who was nothing but heroic and selfless for the world until the end? i just don’t understand.

----

on a more positive side, my sammy. he finally got a long and happy life. albeit without dean but, he still had the chance to enjoy his freedom, and get the apple pie life he always dreamed of.

and dean, oh my dean. his ending? i am angry about how it came about, but a heaven filled with the people he loves? thank you for that. thank you for bobby being there to greet him, for being at harvelle’s and kicking back. thank you.

----

sorry to tell you, but i’m back to anger.

misha. goddamn. collins.

this man has done so much good for this show, for its fans, and for honestly the world in general. he came on as as two second plot episode character that they planned to throw away after they used him to connect a couple dots, and his performance was so incredible, they ended up having to throw all their plans away and readjusting.

he made this show good again, he gave it some life. i would watch the show so intensely, hoping to see his face when episodes would air. just his sheer presence in an episode made it more enjoyable.

how did he do that?

what do they give him for his service?

- a death with almost no reaction from the other characters on the show

- a two second mention in the finale without any appearance

- his final words on the show being a prank call from fucking lucifer a long time hated character (and actor) on the show

- and the showrunners using his pull with the fans to trick us into watching an ending where he was nowhere in sight.

you might be saying, wait. what do you mean by that last bullet. well my little cherry blossom, let me explain.

the writers and showrunners KNOW that we love misha and castiel. they know it. as i mentioned before, it was our love of the two of them that kept him on the show in the first place. they know that his presence is what kept the show afloat.

so, they decided to use that to their advantage. they became super mysterious and shifty about his whereabouts during the filming of the finale. why? why would they do that unless they were worried that we would lose interest and find somewhere else to be when the finale aired because our favorite part of the show was gone?

they toyed with us just to ensure that we would maintain the ratings on their last hurrah. and you know what? that really feels like an enormous slap to the face.

because guess what? i would have fucking watched anyway. would i have been upset and a little hurt that cas wasn’t in it? absolutely, for all the reasons i described. but i wouldn’t have been holding my breath in hopes of seeing him the entire time, and then have my heart ripped out of my chest like that in disappointment.

i would have been able to appreciate the ending for what it was, and accept it wasn’t going to be exactly what i wanted ahead of time. i wouldn’t be so angry now.

and i resent them for making me feel that way. this show did so much for me and is so much of the reason why i’m still here today, and they ruined it for me. i am so angry that they took something so precious to me, and crushed it, just to get those extra bucks in from keeping the ratings in a good spot. fuck you.

----

during that whole montage of sam growing old and having a family (which i literally honestly loved, alright?) instead of having dean drive the car, which we’ve seen him do 384729387423 times, we could have seen dean reuniting with his mom, with charlie, fuck WITH CAS, and giving jack a nougie. things that actually made sense, and made the most of the finite time we had left.

i didn’t even need a love confession. even just a hug, or an appearance from cas would have been enough for me. because i know, romantic love or not (even though we all fucking know it’s romantic but since so many homophobic people watch the show we have to keep it dubious ugh), cas would be a part of dean’s heaven because cas is part of dean’s family, which is what gets dean out of bed every morning.

----

listen, i am happy that the final minutes of the show were just sam and dean, hugging, and loving each other. after all, that’s what started it all, right? i’m just saying, they screwed us, the characters, and the legacy of the show for what seems to be no apparent reason. it was just laziness, homophobia, or something else that doesn’t make any sense to me.

what was the point of the deancas relationship arc for there to be no resolution? what was the point of brining eileen into sam’s life for them not to be together?

i truly, just don’t understand. i don’t.

they really could have made this something amazing, and jaw dropping, but they chose not to. and i will never forgive them.

----

all that being said though, thank you supernatural. thank you for making me who i am today. thank you for making me laugh, cry, and survive so long. there are memories, people, and messages that you sent to me that will stay with me forever, and that i will never forget.

to the actors, i hope you know, that any anger you might see from me, or from most of us (don’t want to speak for everyone), are at the writers, not you. i see all of your hard work and your devotion. you are everything that makes this show great. you are what made this show. thank you for everything.

and to jensen specifically, i am truly sorry. i really thought you were being an ass and that you didn’t like the ending bc of stupid reasons, but it turns out you were right. i’m sorry they didn’t listen to you, and i’m sorry that i doubted you. you’ve done nothing but love this character and give it your all, and you and misha really got shot in the foot.

your hard work did not go unnoticed.

thank you for listening if you did.

i love you all and it has truly been a pleasure.

i’m gonna tag a few people under the bar in case they’re curious about my thoughts. i might not really talk to a lot of you but i really respect your opinions and like you guys. so yeah (:

tag list @prayedtoyou @destiel-is-canon-i-guess @starrynightdeancas @green-eyes-and-classic-rock @thetiredstuff

#spn #supernatural #my post #my thoughts #destiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #misha collins #castiel #spn finale #spn spoilers #plz feel free to leave comments bc i like hearing others' opinions but plz stay civil if you do #it's been one hell of a ride

15 notes · View notes

tohruhondaismydaughter · 4 years ago

Text

I've just discovered there's people who hate Kakeru. Not dislike or don't get the hype about him but genuinely seem to hate him. Now obviously personal preferences are a thing but I seriously don't get where this hate could be coming from because with

1. Akito- phyically assaults people (including kids), held a teenager hostage for daiting & trying to take a box of her's that Akito already knew was empty & also stabbed someone after they tried to help her & left them to potentially die

2. Shigure- regularly makes perverted "jokes" about people who are underage (including the 16 year old girl who lives with him & cleans/cooks for him + he's family) & admits to manipulating everyone around him for he's own selfish goal regardless of how it could hurt others & that he dosn't really care about being kind even to the people he supposedly loves + he likes messing with people he knows are already terribly anxious & he also won in the end while never having to actually sacrifice anything important to him or really learn anything of value

3. Ayame- abounded he's brother to abuse till he was almost 30 & says various inappropriate things in front of & towards High Schoolers

4. Kagura- pretended to love someone 3 years younger then her who she saw as beneath her in a violent (though it was obviously in out-dated slap stick) way until she was like 18 & then slaps Tohru so hard she becomes uncounsious

5. Kureno- enabler of Akito despite no longer being supernaturally bound to her & knowingly fell for a High Schooler

6. Hatori- enabler of Akito & erasers people's memories when told to regardless of how he knows it'll hurt others

7. Katsuya- knowingly married (& later impregnated) isolated & homeless 15 year old Kyoko when he was in he's 20's after meeting her as a teacher in her middle school

8. Ren- everything about her

9. Kyo's sperm donor- everything about him

10. Momiji's parents- how they handled the situation

11. Machi's mum- raised her daughter like a robot, replaced her, insulted her entire personality, acussed her of attempted murder with bassically zero evidence, kicked her out of her home, cut her off from her sibling & only ocasnially calls to insult her leading to her developing a rather unhealthy coping mechanism to deal with her damaged mental health

12. Machi & Kakeru's dad- cheated on his wife, made he's kids fight over thier inheritance before getting another child & then treating the first two like they no longer exsisted

13. Kakeru's mum- took years to realise that she shouldn't use her child to get money/power from an affair

14. Haru- got a little too insistent about phyical affection from someone who he knows is super emotinally scarred (I still love him though just don't think certain scenes with Rin were handeld as delicately as they probably should have been) & can get rather harsh to random people when he goes dark (the worse case of this being when he grabbed Tohru's arm)

15. Rin's parents- belong in hell

16. The Sohma maids (especially the old one)- are part of the reason Akito became as messed up as she did + just straight up seem to not view kids or the zodiac as human beings with thier own feelings or rights

17. Uo's mum- straight up abounded her young daughter after getting into a new relationship

18. Yuki & Ayame's mum- narsastic, dismissive, controlling, litrually sold one of her kids to thier abuser in exchange for wealth/status, never apologised or even acknowledged what she had done

19. Akira- pursued a relationship pretty much out of pure lonleyness, went along with the suppression of Akito's biological gender, didn't do enough to protect Akito from he's wife's abuse (though in he's defense he was incredible sickly), last few things he told he's child before dying was that he was glad he had her as proof of he's relationship with Ren (AKA the person that had made it clear to Akito that she hated her guts) & that she was special due to being god & her bond with the zodiac was her birth right & would always be there (leading Akito to obviously feeling possessive & intilted over the zodiac & base her entire identity on her position as their god)

20. Kyoko- neglected infant Tohru for months due to her depression after Katuya's death & was even planning on killing herself to be with him again before finally coming to her senses (I love her & I tottally get why she did what she did but if it weren't for gramps little Tohru would have been in one hell of bad situation)

21. The Yuki Fan Club- just thier entire attitude towards Yuki & any girl that interacts with him (I get that it's obviously a delibretly over the top anime gag but irl the way they behave would be seriously disturbing & I'm pretty sure might even be illegal now what with all the photos taken of Yuki without he's knowledge)

22. The former school president- he's creepy fravriotisim towards Yuki (& later he's son) & he's flat out harrasing of anyone wearing the school uniform in a none tradishinal way or anyone with an unusual hair colour (despite him bassically admitting that the school officials had already said that Momiji, Haru & Kyo's appearances were ok)

23. Kimi- I like her & she's obviously iconic but honestly the way she treats Machi kind of borders on bullying sometimes for me

24. Hiro- he's a child & I like him but when we first met him you can't deny he was being a grade A shit to Tohru, Kisa & everyone else (& he fucks up again with Tohru during the beach arc)

25. Rin- love her so much but the first time she met Tohru she did try to kick her in the head while in her horse form which you know isn't great & she was rather antagonistic towards Yuki for no real vaild reason

26. Kyo- using Yuki as a scape goat he's entire life even when he knew none of the terrible things that had happened to him were actually he's fault, hurting Tohru in he's true form (I get that he wasn't in he's right mind & was suffering greatly but it still wasn't good) & rejecting Tohru after everything they had been through in the way that he did (again he wasn't in he's right mind & was suffering greatly but it's still an incredibly low blow & I think he knew that as he tragically wanted to hurt her, similar to what he did in the true form scene, badly enough that she would finally choose to give up on him)

27. The entire zodiac (outside of Kagura & maybe Momiji)- it is revealed that the zodiac are supernaturally inclined to look down on the cat & that they know about Kyo's tragic fate yet do not plan on trying to stop it from happening as he's suffering is thier one true reprieve in the curse as no matter what happens to them they will never be as "low down" as the cat yet once the curse finally breaks for everybody almost nobody even thinks to apologises to Kyo for how he was made to be an outsider since birth

28. Naohito- decides to hate Yuki out of jelousy because he has feelings for Motoko (who clearly has feelings for Yuki) despite Yuki showing no romantic feelings for Motoko & barley sharing any kind of connection with her at all which is obviously not fair as just because you happen to be liked by someone who is liked by someone else dosn't mean you should have to except being seen as a bad person (especially as in Yuki's case he never tried to encourage Motoko's obsession with him & in fact barley notices her exsistance as they aren't in any of the same social circles & she follows the ridiculous club rule of not speaking to him without another fan club member present)

29. Yuki- rather judgmental over how others choose to present themselves in regards to gender norms

30. Momiji- I love him but he did try to take advange of Tohru not knowing how old he really was to bath with her & did actually mange to use this fact to sleep along side her one night before she found out how old he actually was (now obviously Momiji is a wonderfully kind person & clearly would never actually do anything to hurt Tohru but let's be real if someone did that to you irl you'd be pretty creeped out & understandably have a hard time trusting them again)

31. Yuki & Ayame's father- has always been complety missing from he's kids lives (& even seemingly he's wive's) despite being mentioned to be still alive & well enough to work

32. Uo's dad- getting dumped for someone else must suck especially when your left with a young child & I know he did eventually clean up he's act but there's no changing the fact that he's years as an alcholic messed up Uo really bad & could have led to her death if Kyoko hadn't stepped in

33. Kazuma- I know he had good intentions & I love him but there's no denying that he did ignore Kyo's right to free will when he removed he's bracelet & though the plan ended up making he's life better if it had gone wrong in any way then Kyo had pretty much admitted (at least to himself) in S2E9 that he would have probably killed himself that night which would have clearly destroyed Tohru

34. Kyo's mum - she was obviously treated terribly by her husband & I do feel sorry for her but her way of dealing with the situation really damaged Kyo

Your really telling me that the character you have the most issues with is a boy who said a few horrible things to the MC when he was 15 in service of someone he loved who was in pain, got told by said loved one that what he'd said was wrong, felt bad about it, befriended a lonley teen that was close to the MC, quickly grew to genuinely care about them & made them come out of thier shell, wanted to help he's half sister but knew he wasn't really the right person for the job, realised that he's new friend was, encouraged the friend & he's sister's growing connection, learned how good of a person the MC has been to he's new friend, admits to he's friend that he'd been horrible to the MC in the past but just dosn't know how to go about rectifying it (especially as she dosn't seem to remember him), introduces he's friend to he's GF (further expanding the friend's positive social circle), finally bumps into MC alone & is shocked to find out that she dose now in fact remember him & even appoliges to him + thanks him for bringing her friend out of thier shell before he comes to he's senses & assures her that she has nothing to apologise for & then visits her in the hospital when she gets injured & even goes shopping for a gift to give her beforehand (even if he dosn't end up getting her something that actually fits her personality because well duh he dosn't really know anything about her).

Out of every questionably moral thing in the series this is really the hill you wanna die on?

I just honestly can't understand it. Sure he's not perfect but then no one in the series is. That's kind of the entire point of the story, that anyone can do things that hurt people but that it's what you choose to do going forward (even if it takes you a long time) that's important & Kakeru, eventually, chose to try to do the right thing. He tried to understand Yuki even though the guy didn't seem to like him at all, he chose to check up on Machi even though she seemingly hadn't made any sign of wanting to deepen thier sibling bond, he chose to finally talk to Tohru instead of continuing the ruse that he'd never spoken to her before, he chose to come clean about what happened to Yuki despite the potential of ending their friendship (& you can't tell me once he'd realised how much Yuki cared for Tohru the very real possibility that Yuki might hate him if he found out what he'd said to her wouldn't worry him at all) & he chose to visit Tohru in the hospital instead of just wishing Yuki luck or hoping Kormaki would go so he could avoid feeling uncomfortable.

You don't have to love him or even like him but I really don't think he deserves this amount of hate (especially incomparsion to some of the other characters I've listed).

9 notes · View notes

qqueenofhades · 4 years ago

Note

1/2 Hello! French anon again, thank you for the references, I'll check them out. I have to say that I am very French in my way of thinking, so I sometimes struggle with the idea of American integration and communities, often wondering what binds all the people together then. Not to say that the French one works better. There are a lot of problems and geographical segregation alone (and the many forms of everyday racism) are evidence of that. My ask this time was more lighthearted.

French anon 2/2 I have started watching Timeless (I'm at the 3rd episode, so...) after discovering it on your blog. It didn't truly click with me and it will probably stay as my ironing clothes TV show... I know it brings some degree of history awareness to the public but isn't it grossly simplified? I know the format doesn't really allow for deep exploration but still. Also, the whole "we can't change the past", well, by going there they already do, it's more like mitigating damage after that.

French anon 3/3 So I know you love it very much and I've read some of the reasons why but would you tell me if it gets better? I guess it also feel very American (not in a derogatory way!) and speaks less to me than history I've learned in school would... Anyway, I hope you're doing as well as can be, thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)

Ahaha. Timeless. Ahaha. Haha. Hah.

Hah.

(Spoilers will follow below, just so you know.)

I have, shall we say, a complicated relationship with that show. Let me be the first off to say it is not Quality Cinema; there are a lot of plot holes, the usual time-travel caveats that you kind of have to shrug and go with, and yes it is, as you say, especially American in its outlook, especially early in season 1 when it looks like the conflict is “oh no we have to save this scary Eastern European baddie from Destroying America Tee Em!!!” Believe me, I also side-eyed it a lot for exactly that reason, though it was fun enough that it kept me going. And then I fell DEEP in the trash bin for said not-actually-a-baddie at all, and... sigh.

There are still things about the show, especially in individual moments, that I thought are really well done, and I did love it (once) for a lot of reasons. You have to understand that American history is SO sanitized that for a lot of people, actually discovering the contributions of women and people of color and other unknown figures that Timeless, at its best, tried to highlight, really WAS revelatory. It inspired a ton of passion and public history examination and things that I, as a historian, obviously endorse. While still coming at everything from essentially a well-meaning white American liberal perspective (and yes, it was co-run by Eric Kripke of Supernatural infamy, hence all the fridged women in the character backstories), it did do a lot for making the average American cable-television viewer think about parts of history that they simply didn’t know about, and it inspired a devoted cult following for this and other reasons. But this fan following was a double-edged sword. It saved the show from cancellation at the end of season 1 and gave it a 10-episode season 2, which has some of my favorite episodes in the show for Reasons. But then once it was again cancelled after that, we got stuck with a two-part “Christmas Special” to wrap things up which, in the way of rushed finale so-called fanservice movies everywhere, was unspeakably ghastly on every single level, slaughtered the characters and the story, and left people (especially me) with such a bad taste in our mouths that Timeless canon (at least post-2x10) is dead to us and means we can’t revisit it without a certain amount of pain. Because yes. It was so bad. It’s generally known as the Abomination and it doesn’t actually exist.

I still love the characters, for the most part, a whole lot. Rufus, Jiya, Lucy, and Flynn are my absolute baes and I would die for every one of them. Wyatt, frankly, is the most boring, least compelling, least developed, and un-nuanced out of the lot of them, and in the way of White Fandom everywhere, he got woobified first by the fandom and then the writers, who ruined everything in the Abomination to “fix” the mistakes he had made in the course of season 2. I have rehabilitated and improved him in my fics, but I hate canon Wyatt with the burning passion of a thousand suns, not sorry, and the way everything else got dragged down by his deadweight. Basically, I enjoy the setting and the characters and the premise as inspiration for fics and fanworks more than, at this point, I enjoy anything about Timeless show canon itself. I’ve never felt the need to revisit or rewatch after the Abomination, sadly, because it was just that terrible. But I DID finish the story by writing a full-length Season 3 and 4, a major fan project that I’m very proud of, at @timeless-season-four. I did it because I was just that full of spite at how the “official” ending handled things, I knew I could do it better for every single character and story, and I did. I think that I do handle a lot more of the complexities of history in my episodes than the show ever did, but then, I’m coming at it from a different perspective.

So... there’s that. You’re obviously under no obligation to continue if it’s not your super cup of tea (and as I said, the Christmas Thing will never be forgiven by me, but hey, it’s cool). I still love parts of it (characters, lines, episodes, my beloved OTP that they did so dirty) even if not the whole, so if you still need to have something in the background while ironing clothes, it could be worse. But yes, well, there’s my relationship with it in a nutshell, and I definitely agree with everything you’ve said, especially for someone approaching it from outside the U.S. It’s definitely made from that perspective, for better and sometimes decidedly for worse, and that’s just what it is.

#timeless critical #anonymous #ask

13 notes · View notes

mashkaroom · 4 years ago

Text

This isn’t related to anything, but frozen 2 was actually...pretty good of a movie, and you can literally see the disney profit model holding it back. firstly, the music was really good -- i was really impressed with the writing team and with the vocal performances, especially by idina menzel. the songs that didn’t make it in because the plot was rearranged were also excellent. wrt to the visuals, i’m not the biggest fan of this specific animation style, but it’s clear it’s very well done -- i’ve no choice but to be impressed. the plot was whatever (also they fully put a couple of trolls in charge of the kindom for a bit -- is there no fucking line of succession in this goddamn kingdom?? maybe the plot of the movie should have been establishing a functional bureaucracy) and they really yada-yada-ed the magic system, which was basically of the central conceit of the movie so...why did they not put more effort into it? the explanation, such as it was, of the magic system was both confusing and ultimately pretty meaningless -- it added next to nothing of value to the lore or theme or worldbuilding. the themes were clearly meant for a more mature audience (which is i guess what you get for waiting 7 years to make a sequel [which btw just wrenched out a memory out of me that frozen 1 came up literally constantly in my 7th grade latin class -- i cannot emphasize enough how bizarre of an experience learning a dead language throughout the entirety of your teenage years along with 400 more of your cohort is]) -- but anyway, they establish all these themes and then don’t commit to them. Like, the central plot conflict of the movie is literally colonialism lmao. it’s such a strange place to discuss it. My suspicion is that they decided right away to go with a “connecting with mother” storyline, since the “women in the same family connecting with each other” bit worked so well in the first movie; then they were like “is this too basic?” and decided that they should wrap that into a “reckoning with ancestry” thread to cash into that “young leftist with white guilt” market. Then they had somebody on the writing staff who was like “what if we made this about colonialism?” So re: those elements, first of all the mother plotline is boring as shit. Like it doesn’t ring true even to losing a loved one early, but it especially rings soooo hollow wrt the actual relationship that is portrayed in the first movie between elsa and her parents. like we see the parents be so misguided it borders on abusive. and that’s a really interesting dynamic, story-wise, bc the parents are dead and can’t redeem themselves but the baggage they left behind is still there, so the burden of processing that falls exclusively on the daughters. i dare say this is something probably relatable to many of us, bc it’s my sense that most people grow up with pretty misguided parents! (lowkey i feel like the best parenting i’ve seen in my circle are parents who basically went off of vibes rather than idk a philosophy or whatever) i actually would have loved to see a children’s movie address dealing with parents in a nuanced way that isn’t just “one of us is right and the other is wrong” but rather addresses what responsibilities parents and children have to each other, how to navigate intent versus effect, what the value (or lack thereof) of forgiveness is, how to uncover your identity when your entire life was shaped by societal and parental expectations, etc. And the Frozen premise is ideally suited for this! Moreover, a lot of these beats actually DO happen in the movie! Into the unknown is basically elsa trying and failing to convince herself that she wants the life she has and any thoughts to the contrary should be dismissed (and it’s gay as hell, but we’ll get to that later). The climax of show yourself literally says that it was the truth about herself rather than her mother that will bring her peace. But all of these beats are facilitated supernaturally rather than by the very fitting preexisting character background, which makes it lack the satisfaction you’d expect in such a resolution. it never features any reckoning with what made her feel the way she did in the first place -- a projection of the mother’s face singing the climactic realization literally undercuts the entire plotline. like here you can see how basically being propaganda for the american lifestyle (in this case the nuclear family e.g.) undercuts their message. this predictably only gets more egregious when they attempt to tackle colonialism. so quick summary of this plotline: anna and elsa’s grandfather basically genocided an indigenous people -- the northuldra -- after tricking them into building a dam that stifles the power of the forest or something. also their mother was actually northuldra. also magic comes from the northuldra forest? it would probably be pretty problematic re: the magical native stereotype if it was clearer what was going on lmao. at the end, anna breaks the dam even though it’ll flood Arendelle; however, elsa (who was literally frozen because of the sins of the past) swoops in at the last moment and freezes the wave so it causes no damage. However, in an earlier version of the story, the wave actually DOES destroy Arendelle and then they rebuild it with a mix of Arendellian and Northuldran architectural styles. this version actually proposed a genuine vision for how to deal with the impacts of colonialism instead of the final movie where sisterly love absolves everyone of consequences.

ok, so about the gay: i know people read a coming out into let it go, and maybe this is just cause i watched frozen 1 when i was still straight, but i didn’t really see it. but the lyrics in frozen 2 elsa’s songs match up so well with the coming out experience, i have difficulty imagining the song-writers weren’t aware of it, especially since people were already calling for elsa to be gay. Like let’s take a look at these songs -- into the unknown first. She sings

“Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you”

This idea of having being afraid of ruining relationships even (and especially) with the people you love most by coming out is something that a lot of queer people can relate to. Then she sings:

“Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake? Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel your power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go”

How much do i need to explain this? (like all my 7 followers are some form of queer anyway lol) But again this battle of trying to hide but knowing deep down that you can’t, longing for “someone a little bit like me” -- it’s classic queer. Then she sings a bridge-type thing:

“Are you out there? Do you know me? Can you feel me? Can you show me?”

I mean, again, what is this but longing for community. Then in the climactic song “show yourself”, she sings this:

“Something is familiar Like a dream, I can reach but not quite hold I can sense you there Like a friend I've always known”

this is literally just about reading stone butch blues.

The climactic lyric is “You are the one you've been waiting for all your life” (sung to her rather than by her) and i mean again, this is about finally giving yourself permission to live as your true self. And not gonna lie, i dug that shit. it felt quite authentic. obviously they didn’t actually make her gay, bc of course, but she is gay in my heart!

Ok, so what would have made the movie live up to its full potential?

1) fixing that stuff i already said about the parents; it felt like such bs that anna and elsa were dealing with ancestral sins but also their parents were saints whose love fixed everything? how much more interesting would it have been if reckoning with their parents’ impacts on them led them to reckoning with the impacts of their entire ancestry and in turn their society? if reckoning with their personal responsibilities to each other led them to consider their society’s responsibility to fix the past wrongs that allowed it to flourish? this wouldn’t even be counter to disney’s individualism, but it allows for a slight reconceptualization of it that i think would feel fresh.

2) having actual consequences for the colonialism and genocide

3) either cutting all the new magic system stuff or developing it in a way that in turn helps develop the themes. frankly, the “sometimes people are born with magic” that was implied in movie one was enough.

4) making elsa gay, and i say this not just because i want gay characters but because that genuinely makes sense within the story

5) basically, the central theme should have been “i have all this baggage and i can’t resolve it by looking for answers only within my society; in order to be fully at peace with myself, i must work to right the wrongs of my society that obscured the different ways of knowledge that could help people like me; sometimes you must go into the unknown in order to understand the known” which is a message i think very well suited for the united states!

#In general Disney has created this really cowardly mold for children’s media #where the messages rarely go beyond the individual and are universally basic as shit #and that comes from a fundamental lack of respect for the audience #people keep telling me that pixar has deep multidimensional messages #and i’m sorry to say that your standards are just low #like people keep citing inside out to me and the message of that was literally “it’s okay to be sad sometimes”#cheburashka had a more complex message than that.#i know nobody asked for this long-ass analysis #and i myself watched frozen 2 in like may so idek why i started thinking about it again now #but it's just such a weird yet revealing movie #frozen 2 should have been abolishing prisons #but like seriously idk where they pulled colonialism from #but if they wanted to address a serious issue #prisons would have been perfect #because elsa basically spent half her life in a form of incarceration for being a perceived societal menace #i guess that's more difficult to weave into a story arc #oh holy fuck this reminds me that when i was 16 i was paid (very little might i say but nevertheless)#to 'ghostwrite' a witch cozy #whatever the fuck that is #but literally 'witch cozy' was the entirety of the prompt #no plot or characters or anything #there were 3 novellas #in the first one they made me changed the gay love story to a het one lmaoooo #in book 2 she busts a crime ring or sth and then realizes that social determinants made them commit crimes #and then in book 3 she becomes a prison abolitionist lmaooo #she starts running a rehabilitation program in the local prison using theater #this character was so self-insert it was ridiculous #no offense at whoever's writing the flash but 16-yo disaster child me had 15x more social consciousness than yall #sorry to analyze a different piece of media in the tags for another long-ass media analysis #but in s1 of the flash the local prison can't handle the new metahumans

4 notes · View notes