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mashkaroom · 4 years ago

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This isn’t related to anything, but frozen 2 was actually...pretty good of a movie, and you can literally see the disney profit model holding it back. firstly, the music was really good -- i was really impressed with the writing team and with the vocal performances, especially by idina menzel. the songs that didn’t make it in because the plot was rearranged were also excellent. wrt to the visuals, i’m not the biggest fan of this specific animation style, but it’s clear it’s very well done -- i’ve no choice but to be impressed. the plot was whatever (also they fully put a couple of trolls in charge of the kindom for a bit -- is there no fucking line of succession in this goddamn kingdom?? maybe the plot of the movie should have been establishing a functional bureaucracy) and they really yada-yada-ed the magic system, which was basically of the central conceit of the movie so...why did they not put more effort into it? the explanation, such as it was, of the magic system was both confusing and ultimately pretty meaningless -- it added next to nothing of value to the lore or theme or worldbuilding. the themes were clearly meant for a more mature audience (which is i guess what you get for waiting 7 years to make a sequel [which btw just wrenched out a memory out of me that frozen 1 came up literally constantly in my 7th grade latin class -- i cannot emphasize enough how bizarre of an experience learning a dead language throughout the entirety of your teenage years along with 400 more of your cohort is]) -- but anyway, they establish all these themes and then don’t commit to them. Like, the central plot conflict of the movie is literally colonialism lmao. it’s such a strange place to discuss it. My suspicion is that they decided right away to go with a “connecting with mother” storyline, since the “women in the same family connecting with each other” bit worked so well in the first movie; then they were like “is this too basic?” and decided that they should wrap that into a “reckoning with ancestry” thread to cash into that “young leftist with white guilt” market. Then they had somebody on the writing staff who was like “what if we made this about colonialism?” So re: those elements, first of all the mother plotline is boring as shit. Like it doesn’t ring true even to losing a loved one early, but it especially rings soooo hollow wrt the actual relationship that is portrayed in the first movie between elsa and her parents. like we see the parents be so misguided it borders on abusive. and that’s a really interesting dynamic, story-wise, bc the parents are dead and can’t redeem themselves but the baggage they left behind is still there, so the burden of processing that falls exclusively on the daughters. i dare say this is something probably relatable to many of us, bc it’s my sense that most people grow up with pretty misguided parents! (lowkey i feel like the best parenting i’ve seen in my circle are parents who basically went off of vibes rather than idk a philosophy or whatever) i actually would have loved to see a children’s movie address dealing with parents in a nuanced way that isn’t just “one of us is right and the other is wrong” but rather addresses what responsibilities parents and children have to each other, how to navigate intent versus effect, what the value (or lack thereof) of forgiveness is, how to uncover your identity when your entire life was shaped by societal and parental expectations, etc. And the Frozen premise is ideally suited for this! Moreover, a lot of these beats actually DO happen in the movie! Into the unknown is basically elsa trying and failing to convince herself that she wants the life she has and any thoughts to the contrary should be dismissed (and it’s gay as hell, but we’ll get to that later). The climax of show yourself literally says that it was the truth about herself rather than her mother that will bring her peace. But all of these beats are facilitated supernaturally rather than by the very fitting preexisting character background, which makes it lack the satisfaction you’d expect in such a resolution. it never features any reckoning with what made her feel the way she did in the first place -- a projection of the mother’s face singing the climactic realization literally undercuts the entire plotline. like here you can see how basically being propaganda for the american lifestyle (in this case the nuclear family e.g.) undercuts their message. this predictably only gets more egregious when they attempt to tackle colonialism. so quick summary of this plotline: anna and elsa’s grandfather basically genocided an indigenous people -- the northuldra -- after tricking them into building a dam that stifles the power of the forest or something. also their mother was actually northuldra. also magic comes from the northuldra forest? it would probably be pretty problematic re: the magical native stereotype if it was clearer what was going on lmao. at the end, anna breaks the dam even though it’ll flood Arendelle; however, elsa (who was literally frozen because of the sins of the past) swoops in at the last moment and freezes the wave so it causes no damage. However, in an earlier version of the story, the wave actually DOES destroy Arendelle and then they rebuild it with a mix of Arendellian and Northuldran architectural styles. this version actually proposed a genuine vision for how to deal with the impacts of colonialism instead of the final movie where sisterly love absolves everyone of consequences.

ok, so about the gay: i know people read a coming out into let it go, and maybe this is just cause i watched frozen 1 when i was still straight, but i didn’t really see it. but the lyrics in frozen 2 elsa’s songs match up so well with the coming out experience, i have difficulty imagining the song-writers weren’t aware of it, especially since people were already calling for elsa to be gay. Like let’s take a look at these songs -- into the unknown first. She sings

“Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you”

This idea of having being afraid of ruining relationships even (and especially) with the people you love most by coming out is something that a lot of queer people can relate to. Then she sings:

“Are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake? Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel your power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go”

How much do i need to explain this? (like all my 7 followers are some form of queer anyway lol) But again this battle of trying to hide but knowing deep down that you can’t, longing for “someone a little bit like me” -- it’s classic queer. Then she sings a bridge-type thing:

“Are you out there? Do you know me? Can you feel me? Can you show me?”

I mean, again, what is this but longing for community. Then in the climactic song “show yourself”, she sings this:

“Something is familiar Like a dream, I can reach but not quite hold I can sense you there Like a friend I've always known”

this is literally just about reading stone butch blues.

The climactic lyric is “You are the one you've been waiting for all your life” (sung to her rather than by her) and i mean again, this is about finally giving yourself permission to live as your true self. And not gonna lie, i dug that shit. it felt quite authentic. obviously they didn’t actually make her gay, bc of course, but she is gay in my heart!

Ok, so what would have made the movie live up to its full potential?

1) fixing that stuff i already said about the parents; it felt like such bs that anna and elsa were dealing with ancestral sins but also their parents were saints whose love fixed everything? how much more interesting would it have been if reckoning with their parents’ impacts on them led them to reckoning with the impacts of their entire ancestry and in turn their society? if reckoning with their personal responsibilities to each other led them to consider their society’s responsibility to fix the past wrongs that allowed it to flourish? this wouldn’t even be counter to disney’s individualism, but it allows for a slight reconceptualization of it that i think would feel fresh.

2) having actual consequences for the colonialism and genocide

3) either cutting all the new magic system stuff or developing it in a way that in turn helps develop the themes. frankly, the “sometimes people are born with magic” that was implied in movie one was enough.

4) making elsa gay, and i say this not just because i want gay characters but because that genuinely makes sense within the story

5) basically, the central theme should have been “i have all this baggage and i can’t resolve it by looking for answers only within my society; in order to be fully at peace with myself, i must work to right the wrongs of my society that obscured the different ways of knowledge that could help people like me; sometimes you must go into the unknown in order to understand the known” which is a message i think very well suited for the united states!

#In general Disney has created this really cowardly mold for children’s media #where the messages rarely go beyond the individual and are universally basic as shit #and that comes from a fundamental lack of respect for the audience #people keep telling me that pixar has deep multidimensional messages #and i’m sorry to say that your standards are just low #like people keep citing inside out to me and the message of that was literally “it’s okay to be sad sometimes”#cheburashka had a more complex message than that.#i know nobody asked for this long-ass analysis #and i myself watched frozen 2 in like may so idek why i started thinking about it again now #but it's just such a weird yet revealing movie #frozen 2 should have been abolishing prisons #but like seriously idk where they pulled colonialism from #but if they wanted to address a serious issue #prisons would have been perfect #because elsa basically spent half her life in a form of incarceration for being a perceived societal menace #i guess that's more difficult to weave into a story arc #oh holy fuck this reminds me that when i was 16 i was paid (very little might i say but nevertheless)#to 'ghostwrite' a witch cozy #whatever the fuck that is #but literally 'witch cozy' was the entirety of the prompt #no plot or characters or anything #there were 3 novellas #in the first one they made me changed the gay love story to a het one lmaoooo #in book 2 she busts a crime ring or sth and then realizes that social determinants made them commit crimes #and then in book 3 she becomes a prison abolitionist lmaooo #she starts running a rehabilitation program in the local prison using theater #this character was so self-insert it was ridiculous #no offense at whoever's writing the flash but 16-yo disaster child me had 15x more social consciousness than yall #sorry to analyze a different piece of media in the tags for another long-ass media analysis #but in s1 of the flash the local prison can't handle the new metahumans

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough.

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls.

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated.

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences. especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks.

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well.

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;)

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

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demonicowgirl · 4 years ago

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okay finished rule of wolves and i have THOUGHTS..... of which i have gathered..... like sheep i have herded them together. so no it's not coherent. spoilers under cut so abandon hope all ye who enter here

okay….. deadass…… i think my favorite point of view was from the darkling LIKE?!?!?! me before starting this book: HAHA THE DARKLING IS GOING TO DIE FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!! GET REKT!!!!! me after: His first soldiers were dead now. Lovers, allies, countless kings and queens. Only he continued on. Eternity took practice, and he’d had plenty of it. The world had changed. War had changed. But he had not. but seriously he’s so dramatic and the shit is he says is like. unhinged. i had a blast

zoya deserves so much love and peace and i knew she’d end up queen but this was…. not how i expected it would be. but more thoughts on that down the list

how is jesper going to show up for approximately 14 pages and manage to be the funniest character in the entire book. like he’s got probably 50 lines and each one fucking hits HOW DOES HE DO IT

mayu’s chapters felt very unnecessary and i would’ve preferred to just not know how tamar’s mission in shu han is going until the khergud show up for their ride of rohirrim/knights of the vale moment. maybe leigh wrote it that originally and it just didn’t work? because i can definitely see how insane it would read like all we know about khergud is that they hunt grisha and then all of sudden they’re…. helping ravka?!?!? like it would be really hard to pull off but idk i think all of mayu’s chapters were just. kind of sloggy and the surprise would’ve been fun during the battle

sorry but i still don’t know what the fuck an airship looks like. or what the fjerdan naval base was supposed to look like. the tech in this universe is truly mind boggling

kaz brekker is so in love with inej ghafa. god they make me SICK

okay nina’s storyline…… this is my biggie……………… sigh. okay. nina’s storyline was my favorite part of king of scars and so i was really looking forward to seeing what would happen here. and for the most part i was having a great time!! i love her and hanne (more than i ever got into her and matthias) and i was so excited for jarl brum to finally fucking die. but then the last few chapters. i’m so……….. okay talking about hanne being a trans character (i’ll be using they/them pronouns because it doesn’t feel like a settled issue especially since they talk about not wanting to *be* rasmus, just his body). it makes so much sense for their character and i had HUUUUGE vibes all the way back in kos and i could see it coming here in row. but the way leigh handled their “transition” (???) is not good. like hanne had to kill a cis man and take on his identity to transition and that is such a bad handling i think??? who approved this. but also from a narrative standpoint it GETS WORSE?!?! like how the fuck is hanne gonna pretend to be a PRINCE… what will they do about the king and queen?? and nina remaining mila…… it honestly makes me really angry. that nina would turn her back on her country and friends and family for a LOVE INTEREST…… like her storyline has centered SO MUCH about how much she misses ravka, and in this duology even ketterdam!! like we all realize that when nina focuses on missing waffles or blini *those are symbolic stand-ins for her friends and it’s easier for her to talk about missing food than missing her friends*. like we all know that. and then in the end she says you know what i can PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE????? and not just a random fjerdan woman literally someone who will be QUEEN OF FJERDA ONE DAY. like an incredibly public position that will put mila under a ton of scrutiny… more than her identity was created for! and nina literally acknowledges that if they got the real mila jandersdat’s friends and neighbors to look at nina they’d know she was an impostor. so what is mila’s village gonna do when they hear mila jandersdat is apparently back from noyvi zem and now engaged to the prince???? i think leigh chose an ending that just doesn’t hold up narratively and logically. like i want nina to be happy and find love but why does it have to be…. not as nina.

my other big gripe is the politics and international implications of everything that’s going on like…… ravka is engaging in some CIA-backed-coups-in-latin-america levels of diplomacy. like fjerda is not just going to have a secret grisha impersonating their prince and eventual king one day, but their queen will ALSO be a secret grisha and RAVKAN SPY???? if nina was ever caught do you know the level of international scandal that would cause??? how the fuck could zoya even let her go off and do this??? it would absolutely be grounds for war and i thought zoya and everybody were TIRED of war. speaking of ravka’s government. guys we LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A MONARCHY. like i was actually hoping zoya would become queen but like…. because she married nikolai. not because nikolai stepped down and she was appointed. like i was fine with the monarchy sticking around if they never even had a chance to contemplate alternatives but they literally say no………. we choose monarchy. besides the fact that the world is advancing and monarchies don’t last long in technologically advanced societies, zoya is going to have the most unstable reign because of the threat from the lantsovs. like nikolai’s parents are gonna go back to the southern colonies and just be like “our son ended our dynasty and put a grisha on our throne but that’s fine! we shouldn’t try to reinstate ourselves or anything.” demidov is fine with this??? he had a problem with nikolai being a lantsov pretender but zoya just starting her own monarchial dynasty gets no pushback??? like i know nobody wants to end the book/series on such a depressing note but like. a revolution and/or coup is staring zoya in the face. and yeah she’s the motherfucking dragon but um…… so was daenerys targaryen. and ultimately it really feels like the ending of game of thrones where a bunch of noblemen are gathered in one room and they’re like “we have the chance to change the course of our country forever so we will…….. START A NEW DYNASTY!” ….. HUH?!?!!? like when nikolai was like ravka will choose its leader! and the only people from ravka in the room are the landed gentry and peerage. like yeah ravka really got a say in this…. so no nikolai i actually don’t think the nazyalensky dynasty will last that long because with all the threats of being overthrown on LITERALLY ALL SIDES zoya may just decide to say fuck it and give the people democracy so it’s no longer her problem! or she just gets killed. so. anyways if the only known countries in this world are ruled by either 1. monarchies (fjerda, ravka, shu han) or 2. plutocracy (kerch) i can see why literally fucking everybody is moving to noyvi zem. like jesus i would too!

genya deserves so much better she has suffered so much and i know leigh needed to make the war have personal consequences BUT DOES SHE HAVE TO HURT GENYA IN THE PROCESS???? like she just doesn’t get a break. anyways i hope she retires from the triurmvirate and goes to live with alina and mal in keramzin because you know what. they were right. they were right to turn their back on literally everything to do with ravkan politics. genya go join them pls

zoya’s expression of grief and mourning… yeah. yeah that one hurt.

i know everybody’s talking about the potential of soc3 but actually i don’t want that! let the crows be in peace in ketterdam!!!! their biggest threats should be like. getting shanked in the barrel not whatever the fuck zoya will put them through. i hope kaz just ignores her letters and when the Queen of Ravka personally comes to his doorstep he reiterates that he’s RETIRED. and when zoya tries to pull the inej card she pops out from behind kaz and says “i’m on vacation with my boyfriend. we’re good!” LET THEM REST!!!!!!!

so yes these are my thoughts not all of them but many of them. i still really enjoyed it and think it was waaaay better than king of scars (not as good as soc & ck though <3). the problem is that the ending definitely colors your view of everything that's happened and if you don't like the ending... well. it's not even that i didn't like the entirety of the ending i mostly just hated nina's and the implications of zoya's. do not mistake me for a darkling fangirl!!!! anyways the writing in this was really good too and there were more moments that just HIT ME than in kos, which i think i just sort.... breezed through without getting hit in the face by a brick of a line. but this one has so many moments especially in zoya and the darkling's chapters that i'm just like OH!!!!! so that is why i leave you with this:

"Zoya, do you know why the Darkling lost the civil war? How Alina stopped him?" Zoya pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. I wish I did." "Because he always fought alone. He let his power isolate him. Alina had us. You have us. You push us away, keep us at arm's distance so that you won't mourn us. But you'll mourn us anyway. That's the way love works."

#rule of wolves #i need to get a tagging system together or something #but i'm lazy.....#grishaverse

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vagrantblvrd · 5 years ago

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Sky Factory Android Shenanigans is giving me so many ideas?

That super cliché sci-fi AU where Michael’s an android on the run (because reasons???) and he ends up on one backwater planet/colony somewhere. Parts on the fritz thanks to a run in with some black ops/assassination squad and he needs repairs but doesn’t know who to trust?

Broadcasts reporting him as, idk, malfunctioning and the whatnot and a danger to the public – do not approach or engage – and call the authorities if you see this unit.

(Unit, like he’s not a person anymore, had his autonomy stripped away along with his humanity and goddamn him for being stupid enough to trust whatever organization he signed up for that got him killed, turned him into this and fucked him over again with all the secrets it was keeping he hadn’t even guessed at before stumbling on them, hence the android on the run part of things? But yes.)

And then he overhears someone talking about this lunatic living on the fringes of whatever settlement he’s come to. Like something out of the true crime stories he used to follow when he was a kid – or is that just another implanted memory?

Shady as hell and rife with con-men and thieves and worse, perfect place to hide out for a while until his stupid body shuts down and he dies for real out here.

Half-blind most days because that shot to the head and it acts up at the worst times. Almost gets him killed a few times when some of those thieves and worse ambush him in an alley and it’s sheer luck he manages to get out of it without suffering more damage.

Anyway, anyway, he hears about this lunatic who’s supposed to be some kind of mechanical genius, right? Doesn’t run a real shop, lives out by the main scrapyard like a weirdo. People bring their busted machines and gadgets and the whatnots to him and he fixes them up nice and pretty-ish. (Cheaper than the officially licensed technicians near the spaceport and a hell of a lot more discreet to boot.)

So.

Michael makes his way there, half-convinced he’s walking into a trap but it’s take that risk or end up being a pile of spare parts in the guy’s scrapyard anyway, right?

And at first the asshole doesn’t even respond when Michael knocks on his door, pretends he’s not home or whatever and Michael’s just.

At the end of his rope and angry and defeated and he starts yelling at the fucker until his vocalizer glitches out, and that’s when the door snaps open, sending Michael tumbling inside where he lands on his face because his everything is fucked up and he doesn’t react fast enough.

Looks up to see someone staring down at him, implants and augments like whoa because no human has an eye that glows red unless it’s in one of those old horror holovids.

“What do you want?

Surly bastard, which lines up with the things Michael overheard before.

Loner who doesn’t really gt left alone because people need things, don’t they, and there’s not a lot of money coming into a place like this. Old mining planet/colony where the companies pulled their operations out when the mines ran dry and only the worst kind of people come by anymore.

The few decent people left behind too poor to relocate, so it’s a shitshow and as someone with the skills to he has he gets visitors more often than he’d care for. (Customers or someone hoping to take what he has any way they have to, which explains the weapon in his hand and Michael’s almost to point he’d just let the fucker shoot him to be done with it, but.)

He stands up, servos and whatever else he’s made of these days creaking and groaning and this little flash of light that may be actual sparks coming off him and he sees the guy’s grimace at how bad off he is.

Like Jesus, if he wasn’t what he was Michael knows someone would have scrapped him a few planets back, but whatever.

The guy – Ryan, of course it’s Ryan – flips the lights on and they get a good look at one another.

Michael’s headed for a full-system shutdown and Ryan?

Looks like he’s been through some shit. Enough augments and implants that the legal system would be hard-put classifying him as human anymore, leaning past cyborg and dangerously close to being an android himself like some of those soldiers Michael’s seen who got caught up in the outer worlds skirmishes a few years back.

A lot of them look cobbled together from whatever parts he could find out here, which makes sense if the guy’s here of all places. (People don’t end up somewhere like here if they have resources to call on, you know? And no one ends up somewhere like here if they’re not in some kind of trouble, so. Yeah.)

They regard each for a long, long time.

Michael knows Ryan recognizes him, but he’s too tired to bother running – been doing too much of that as it is – and he wouldn’t get far in the shape he’s in if he tried

Last resort and the way that goes and Ryan sighs, gesturing for Michael to follow him and he does because what else is he going to do?

Ryan fixes him up, this long on-going process that takes a long damn time because Michael’s so busted up. Has this little helper bot he’s built out of old construction bots or something because its still sporting that distinct yellow paint job, little black and white stripe along its side.

Beeps and chirps and boops whenever Ryan asks it to bring him this tool or that, dig through the bins along one wall for parts or whatever. Hovers along just behind him when they’re not in the workshop/lab loyal little helper and kind of cute in a weird kind of way.

Ryan calls it E.D.G.A.R. and when Michael asks what the acronym stands for Ryan shrugs because hell if he knows, he just thought it was appropriate, which what does that even mean???

Ryan and E.D.G.A.R. dig through the bits and pieces he has stashed in his workshop/lab/lab, cannibalize worker androids – makes and models who didn’t start out as humans like Michael did – for some of it. Searches through the scrapyard to find parts he can modify for the rest.

Once he gets Michael functioning to a high enough level he can lend a hand Michael’s out there too, digging through piles of appliances and machinery and trying not to look too hard at the scattered android parts and chassis tossed in there too. (Some look too human, synthetic flesh torn and weathered from being unprotected from the elements for who know how long)

They don’t really get friendly, the two of them, but Ryan forgets to play the curmudgeon the longer he works at fixing Michael up.

Doesn’t ask who Michael is or how he ended up here, doesn’t seem like he’s waiting on the authorities to come claim him either.

Kind of a confusing time for them both because it’s clear Ryan’s got his own secrets, you know?

More than just some guy who picked up what he knows ‘along the way’, no.

There’s an order to his workshop/lab/lab Michael recognizes from the days right after those fuckers turned him into a machine, the way he works.

Meticulous as hell and so precise and just. More care than any of the hacks Michael’s gone to since he’s been on the run.

And then!

And then there’s – Michael doesn’t know when the shift happens but he bitches about something and Ryan laughs, quiet little huff of air and this tell-tale quirk to his mouth, and he gives Michael this. This look.

Something thoughtful to it he doesn’t really understand, can’t fucking compute, but who cares, right? Because Ryan’s less of a bastard after that, they get along better and Michael stops worrying Ryan’s just waiting for the right moment to turn him in, thinks his luck might be changing on him – so of course that’s when things go to shit.

Someone must have seen Michael before, recognized him and figured out he went to Ryan for help because the people chasing Michael?

They find him.

Assassination squad(s) and both of them unprepared for it and Ryan gets hit, gets hit bad.

More machine than man, but there’s still enough squishy human left to him that a bullet/energy weapon shot in the right place will kill him, you know? (Besides, all those augments and implants are hooked up to his squishy human parts in amazingly delicate ways and it’s real fucking easy to use that against someone if you know how.)

Michael doesn’t get away unscathed himself, but of the two of them he’s far more functional. And even though Ryan didn’t have the right parts and components to bring him up to factory specs again, so to speak, he did a damn good job with what he had on hand, you know?

There’s also the fact that the people who made Michael what he is now didn’t expect him to turn on them, thought they had a nice loyal dog in their hands and they made a mistake giving him the teeth and claws they did. All these built-in weapons because he’s a prototype, isn’t he.

New war machine to sell to the highest bidder and better than all those soulless robots people were using before because there’s a human mind in there capable of making the kind of decisions and choices and whatever else a simple computer program or AI could ever hope to. (Real fucking close to the complex sort of AI they’d need for that, but not close enough to satisfy the corporations or military forces who would commission them.)

So.

Michael gets them out of there, follows E.D.G.A.R. to this ship Ryan’s got hidden away – looks like shit but Ryan – stubbornly hanging on – insists it’ll get them to safety, just don’t fly them into the sun or a fucking planet, for Christ’s sake.

Michael gets Ryan into the medbay which – surprise, surprise – looks like a smaller version of Ryan’s workshop/lab/ than a medbay, but who cares at this point.

Hooks him up to machines to keep him alive until he can give him proper medical care and gets them away from any pursuers.

When he goes back down to check on Ryan it’s to find the asshole directing E.D.G.A.R. to open up this pod on the wall. (Looks more like a casket.)

Human shaped and something about it unsettles Michael who demands to know what’s going on, because Ryan shouldn’t be doing what’s he’s doing.

Seriously injured and lost a lot of blood and any normal human would be dead by this point, and Ryan.

He sighs, gives Michael this look because they both know he’s not going to get better from his injuries, you know? Squishy human parts all fucked up and augments and implants malfunctioning worse than Michael had been when he went to Ryan.

Only a matter of time and Ryan knew something like this would happen one day – all the things Michael was careful not to ask Ryan the same way Ryan didn’t ask Michael because secrets. (And Plot Reasons, but c’mon, you know how this works by now.)

E.D.G.A.R. cracks the pod/casket open and oh, wow, surprise, surprise there’s an android body inside it.

Looks a hell of a lot like Michael’s, but this one is a little bigger, bulkier. Looks like an older version, one that was modeled more after the construction androids, used for heavy labor and the whatnot. No synthetic flesh cover its frame, all powered down and waiting and -

“Don’t do this,” Michael says, because Ryan thinks he knows what he’s doing but he doesn’t.

He doesn’t.

(Michael doesn’t know what else they can do, but this - there has to be another way.)

Ryan gives Michael this sad little smile and it’s horrifying because internal bleeding and everything else, and he’s just.

“Michael,” he says, and he sounds so tired. “Why do you think I knew how to repair you?”

Because Ryan didn’t end up in some backwater planet/colony by accident, you know?

Doesn’t know the things he does because he read about it somewhere or had a job working in a goddamned repair shop on one of the inner worlds.

None of those easy little lies Michael kept telling himself, no.

Ryan used to work for this corporation, big on advancing science and all that bullshit that had major funding provided by the military and so on and so forth. People real interested in cutting down on human bloodshed and what better way than to create machines to do it for them?

Things went wrong along the way, and they got desperate as project after project failed to live up to expectation. (Some key component missing and it wasn’t until someone decided morals and ethics were oh so troublesome they made any real headway.)

People like Michael and accidents here and there, soldiers offer a second chance and there’s an experimental program that hasn’t been revealed to the public. Dangerous, of course, but -

Some people got a choice in the matter, sold their souls for that second chance. Others like Michael never had that luxury.

And Ryan, oh. He was part of that, wasn’t he.

Designed the androids because the science of it all, but he never expected things would lead where they did.

Got to watch as his creations were used in the worst possible ways, saw the early days where human brains couldn’t cope with the transfer progress. Breadth and depth of what makes a human mind (soul?) shoved into a computerized/cybernetic shell of its former self, most without warning and the fallout -

Most committed suicide, some went mad. The others had to be destroyed as they decayed.

And Ryan.

He tried to expose them, did what he could and it almost, almost worked.

But one man against a vast conglomeration fueled by greed and corruption and it almost killed him. (Should have, maybe that would have been better.)

He had a handful of augments and implants before everything went to hell to help him in his work, but afterward.

Well.

Squishy human bodies are just that, aren’t they. Get injured so badly they can’t be fixed and he ended up needing more and more until he might as well have been one of those androids he created once upon a time. (Poetic justice to it, or so he thought when he bothered to think about it at all.)

And anyway, anyway, that doesn’t matter at this point because it’s either transfer his squishy human brain-stuff into the waiting android frame or die.

Before all this, before Michael, Ryan might have chosen death. Figured it’s what he deserved for his part in things, no way he can expose the people responsible when he’s failed before, but.

Michael makes him want to try.

(Ryan knew, you see, while he was fixing Michael that the idiot would go right back out once he was done and try to do the impossible. May have drawn things out longer than he should have to prevent that from happening because he likes Michael, okay? Too much, maybe.)

This isn’t the way he saw things going, but he doesn’t want to die now. Doesn’t want to leave Michael alone to fix Ryan’s mistakes. (And maybe it’s not all on Ryan to fix, but who else is going to do it?)

So.

Michael hates it, hates it so much but he does what Ryan tells him to do. Gets him hooked up to the right machines, boots up the right programs and whatever else and watches Ryan die as he turns himself into an android.

He doesn’t know why Ryan’s doing what he’s doing, thinks it’s because he doesn’t want to just fade away into nothing, but Ryan tells him later.

Tells him everything as he’s figuring out how his new android body works, the two of them following gossip and rumors surrounding this broadcast someone’s sending out about the people responsible for making Michael what he is. Things said people are trying to shut down, shut down hard, but can never catch.

He tells him and Michael listens and it’s not easy, God is it ever not, but they come to an understanding or something like that.

Ryan didn’t know, not for the longest time and when he did he tried to do something about that, and that has to count for something.

(He saved Michael’s life or whatever the hell you’d call it when he turned up on his doorstep, and that counts for something too.)

And just.

Michael’s got his own mistakes too, okay.

So.

They figure things out, and Ryan fixes up his android body so its face looks like his human one and he maybe upgrades it, Michael laughing at him when Ryan goes on and on and on about laser hands or whatever the hell. (Ridiculous and impractical as hell, but goddamn does it sound cool.)

Also, also? Ryan doesn’t have the combat training/protocols Michael does so ~training. Partly to get him used to how his new body moves, partly because they don’t have access to adequate things at first and Michael runs him through the basics, right?

And he teaches Ryan how to compensate for it when his targeting whatevers are on the fritz and Ryan proves to be a better shot than Michael? (New ways to bring old cliches and tropes into play, is what I’m getting at here.)

Those moments where Ryan comes up against the limitations of his new body, realizes what he’s lost when he chose to become an android and Michael just being there because he’s the best person to understand what he’s going through?

The two of them becoming this amazing team over time that is an actual threat to the people after them? (And E.D.G.A.R., because Ryan is too damn fond of the bucket of bolts.)

They run into assassination squads and whatever else and finally, finally find the source of the broadcasts and of course it’s Matt and all these misfits and outcasts with grudges against the assholes after Michael and Ryan and it’s just.

Shenanigans in space as this group of supposed space pirates/smugglers/criminal types take on a corrupt corporation because reasons.

Also, yes, totally FAHC AU in space, but different ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

================

More of this AU with Jerevin this time???

#myan #ragehappy #android au #(but in space)#look #i don't even know #i just #yes #��\_(ツ)_/¯#technically not a fic #vagrant fic #character death #(but they get better)

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vinylexams · 5 years ago

Photo

A very special fireside interview with XUXA SANTAMARIA

Check Insta for our thoughts on this landmark album from Oakland duo XUXA SANTAMARIA. Stay right where you are to read a really fun interview I scored with the band this week. They’ve just released Chancletas D’Oro on Ratskin Records out of Oakland and Michael blessed me with my very own copy. It was so good I knew I needed to tell you all about it and I wanted to pick their brains a little bit, too. Without further ado, please enjoy:

//INTERVIEW

You’re still breaking into indie world at large, but you’ve already got a huge following back in California and your home-base in Oakland. What has it been like to be featured in major outlets like The Fader?

SC: We are a funny project; we ebb and flow from being total hermits to having periods of relatively high visibility (relative to aforementioned hermit state). I wouldn’t say we have a huuuge following in CA but I do think that the ‘fandom’ we’ve developed here is really genuine because we don’t play shows out of an obligation to remain visible but instead do so because we feel super passionate about the work and the audience and I think people respond to that energy. I for one, and perhaps this is because of my background in performance, have a hard time performing the same stuff over and over without change which accounts for us being selective with our playing live. That’s also why videos are such an important part of what we’re about. The piece in The Fader was important to the launch of this album because it established some of the themes and, to an extent, the aesthetics of this album in a way that can be experienced outside of a live setting. None of this is to say we don’t like playing live, in fact we love it, we just like to make our sets pleasurable to ourselves and to our audience by constantly reworking it. We strike a weird balance for sure but we’ve made peace with it. If we ever ‘make it’ (lol) it’ll be on these terms.

Chancletas D'Oro is a pretty incredible record and while it reminds me of a few bands here or there, it’s got a really fresh and unique style that merges dance with all sorts of flavors. How would you describe your music to someone who is curious to listen?

MGK: Haha, we generally struggle to describe our music in a short, neat way (not because we make some kind of impossible-to-categorize music, but just because it’s the synthesis of a ton of different influences and it’s hard for US to perceive clearly). But with that caveat in mind - IDK, bilingual art-punk influenced dance/electronic music?

SC: Thank you for saying so, we’re pretty into it :) Like Matt says, we struggle to pin it down which I think is in part to what he says – our particular taste being all over the place, from Drexciya to The Kinks to Hector Lavoe- but I think this slipperiness has a relationship to our concept making and world building. As creative people we make and intake culture like sharks, always moving, never staying in one place too long. Maybe it’s because we’re both so severely ADHD (a boon in this instance tbh) that we don’t sit still in terms of what we consume and I think naturally that results in an output that is similarly traveling. Point is, the instance a set of words - ‘electronic’, ‘dance’, ‘punk’- feel right for the music is the same instance they are not sufficient. I propose something like: the sound of a rainforest on the edge of a city, breathy but bombastic, music made by machines to dance to, pleasurably, while also feeling some of the sensual pathos of late capitalism as seen from the bottom of the hill.

The internet tells me you’ve been making music as Xuxa Santamaria for a decade now. What has the evolution and development of your songwriting been like over those ten years?

MGK: Well, when we first started out as a band we were so new to making electronic music (Sofia’s background was in the art world and mine was in more guitar-based ‘indie rock’ I guess - lots of smoking weed and making 4 track tapes haha), so we legit forgot to put bass parts on like half the songs on our first album LOL. We’ve learned a lot since then! But in seriousness, we’ve definitely gotten better at bouncing ideas back and forth, at putting in a ton of different parts and then pulling stuff back, and the process is really dynamic and entertaining for both of us.

SC: This project started out somewhat unusually: I was in graduate school and beginning what would become a performance practice. I had hit a creative roadblock working with photography - the medium I was in school to develop- and after reading Frank Kogan’s Real Punks Don’t Wear Black felt this urge to make music as a document of experience following Kogan’s excellent essay on how punk and disco served as spatial receptacles for a wealth of experiences not present in the mainstream of the time. I extrapolated from this notion the idea that popular dance genres like Salsa, early Hip Hop, and Latin Freestyle among many others, had served a similar purpose for protagonists of a myriad Caribbean diasporas. These genres in turn served as sonic spaces to record, even if indirectly, the lived experiences of the coming and going from one’s native island to the mainland US wherein new colonial identities are placed upon you. From this I decided to create an alter ego (ChuCha Santamaria, where our band name originally stems from) to narrate a fantastical version of the history of Puerto Rico post 1492 via dance music. We had absolutely no idea what we were doing but I look back on that album (ChuCha Santamaria y Usted - on vinyl from Young Cubs Records) fondly. It’s rough and strange and we’ve come so far from that sound but it’s a key part of our trajectory. Though my songwriting has evolved to move beyond the subjective scope of this first album - I want to be more inclusive of other marginalized spaces- , it was key that we cut our teeth making it. We are proud to be in the grand tradition of making an album with limited resources and no experience :P

We’re a big community of vinyl enthusiasts and record collectors so first and foremost, thanks for making this available on vinyl. What does the vinyl medium mean to you as individuals and/or as a band?

MGK: I think for us, it’s the combination of the following: A. The experience of listening in a more considered way, a side at a time. B. Tons of real estate for graphics and design and details. C. The sound, duh!

SC: In addition to Matt’s list, I would just say that I approach making an album that will exist in record form as though we were honing a talisman. Its objecthood is very important. It contains a lot of possibility and energy meant to zap you the moment you see it/ hold it. I imagine the encounter with it as having a sequence: first, the graphics - given ample space unlike any other musical medium/substrate- begin to tell a story, vaguely at first. Then, the experience of the music being segmented into Side A and Side B dictate a use of time that is impervious to - at the risk of sounding like an oldie - our contemporary habit of hitting ‘shuffle’ or ‘skip’. Sequencing is thus super important to us (this album has very distinct dynamics at play between sides a/b ). We rarely work outside of a concept so while I take no issue with the current mode of music dissemination, that of prioritizing singles, it doesn’t really work for how we write music.

MGK: We definitely both remain in love with the ‘album as art object/cohesive work’ ideal, so I would say definitely - we care a lot about track sequencing, always think in terms of “Side A/Side B” (each one should be a distinct experience), and details like album art/inserts/LP labels etc matter a lot to us.

What records or albums were most important to you growing up? Which ones do you feel influenced your music the most?

SC: I know they’re canceled cus of that one guy but I listened to Ace of Base’s The Sign a lot as a kid and I think that sorta stuff has a way of sticking with you. I always point to the slippery role language plays in them being a Swedish band singing in English being consumed by a not-yet-English speaking Sofía in Puerto Rico in the mid 90s. Other influences from childhood include Garbage, Spice Girls, Brandy + Monica’s The Boy is Mine, Aaliyah, Gloria Trevi, Olga Tañon etc etc. In terms of who influences me now, that’s a moving target but I’d say for this album I thought a lot about the sound and style of Kate Bush, Technotronic, Black Box, Steely Dan, ‘Ray of Light’-era Madonna plus a million things I’m forgetting.

MGK: Idk, probably a mix of 70-80s art rock/punk/postpunk (Stooges, Roxy Music, John Cale, Eno, Kate Bush, Talking Heads, Wire, Buzzcocks, etc etc), disco/post-disco R&B and dance music (Prince, George Clinton, Chic, Kid Creole), 90s pop + R&B + hip hop (Missy & Timbaland, Outkast/Dungeon Family production-wise are obviously awe-inspiring, So So Def comps, Jock Jams comps, Garbage & Hole & Massive Attack & so on), and unloved pop trash of all eras and styles.

Do you have any “white whale” records that you’ve yet to find?

MGK: Ha - the truth is that we’re both much more of a “what weird shit that we’ve never heard of can we find in the bargain bin” type of record buyer than “I have a custom list of $50 plus records on my discogs account that I lust over”.

SC: Not really, I’m wary of collectorship. That sort of ownership might have an appeal in the hunt, once you have it do you really use it, enjoy it? Funnily, I have a massive collection of salsa records that has entries a lot of music nerds would cry over (though they’re far from good condition, the spines were destroyed by my Abuela’s cat, Misita lol, but some are first pressings in small runs). For me its value however, comes from its link to family, as documents from another time and as an amazing capsule of some of the best music out of the Caribbean. I’m glad I am their guardian (a lot of this stuff is hard to find elsewhere, even digitally) but I live with those records, they’re not hidden away in archival sleeves, in fact, I use some of that music in my other work. Other than that, the records I covet are either those of friends or copies of albums that hold significance but which are likely readily available, Kate Bush’s The Dreaming or Love’s Forever Changes, or The Byrds Sweetheart of The Rodeo as random examples

Finally, is there a piece of interesting band trivia you’ve never shared in another interview?

SC: haha, not really? Maybe that we just had a baby together?

Congrats on your new baby, and also for this wonderful new album. It was a pleasure chatting with you and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you and your music!

#xuxasantamaria #interview #oakland #music #electronic #electronicmusic #ratskin #ratskinrecords

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kaiayame · 6 years ago

Text

post s8 thoughts

the good, the bad, the mixed.

the good

the marketplace at the garrison in ep 1! i’m a sucker for a marketplace. and allura got to go shopping!!

romelle was back! her hair was cute.

i think the tone of the first episode was actually a really smart one to start the season on. i’m glad they jumped a few months (or was it a year?) since the end of last season.

pidge and allura got some good bonding time in general this season. pidge giving up her game for allura was cute. and then when they were together on that planet where the olkari had lived, that was strong.

pidge being upset about the loss of the olkari, lamenting over “how much more they had to offer us” was solid. i think they spent too much time on it, but the sentiment of mourning all the good that a people could’ve given the universe if they hadn’t been lost was solid.

omg listen. keith and lance. literally sat together. just the two of them. watching a FREAKING sunset. and keith, in my opinion, basically said the nicest things anyone has ever said about lance to his face, and it felt like a confession of feelings from keith’s end tbh. the writers did that. they know that they did that. and it happened. it was real and so, so soft. i had to stand up in front of the tv while i was watching, clutching a pillow and screaming a bit.

i think the amount shiro and coran were utilized throughout the story felt balanced. shiro especially has dominated so much of the story over the seasons, and even tho i love him, it felt nice to kind of have him become somewhat less of a focus.

i think the episode where they got trapped in the ship with the monster was fun! did you see how crazy lance went when keith got stuck in that room with it??

the carnival episode!!! I love a good carnival setting :) i like that they all wanted to get something for allura.

the day 47 episode was also cute, imo. I thought it was clever. I loved kinkade! the overall concept could’ve gone really badly but it felt creative enough to me. I wish it had focused more on just the paladins, but still.

all of the MFE pilots actually didn’t annoy me this season, yay.

veronica and axca had super gay vibes.

keith and axca didn’t happen! *throws confetti*

lance got called a genius by his fellow paladins! and they meant it!

we got to see them all in their under suits and out of their paladin armor!

that short bit where Hunk made the recovered alteans food from their home world? I think that was actually more powerful and potent than the writers even intended. I thought that was really well handled and not heavy handed and had a lot of weight to it.

the bit before the final battle with keith and lance alone at the war room table...................... prime, prime content. THEY HELD. HANDS. there was a CLOSE UP. i’m still living off of it. another “lost my shit” moment. favorite scene of the entire season.

there was some genuinely good moments of humor. keith had some especially funny moments, i laughed out loud a few times, tho i can’t name anything super specific atm.....

it was nice that they tried to really work in the idea that unity is what’s important, and the best unity is built through love, and differences shouldn’t tear us apart and we are always stronger together, etc etc.... i think that was obviously the writers referencing our society’s current climate to some extent, so i appreciated them at least trying to touch on that, however generic and vague it was.

they had some good new outfits this season?? it was nice to see the paladins in so many different clothes. and a lot of the garments were really cute!!

i like how often keith urged them to not give up. I think that’s another strong theme that’s existed throughout the series. it just strikes a personal note with me. i like how far keith has come as a character in general.

pidge’s mom making that flower for allura?? very sweet.

i liked all of lance’s reactions to anyone mentioning someone having an interest in keith, haha. Obviously, i’m projecting, but still.

i think the concept of ALL realities being threatened was actually great, because otherwise idk why they would’ve brought up there being other realities in the first place. the significant level of what was at stake with that being what the paladins were dealing with was a good choice.

keith turning down becoming the new head of the galra. phew, thank you @god.

as always, studio mir is the lord’s animation studio and so much of the visuals were so excellent. can’t wait to see their future projects.

and honestly, it’s been fun. it’s been a fun show. it’s had a ton of problems but i cannot deny that i have seriously enjoyed watching a lot of it as a whole.

i guess technically they did end the show on a gay kiss.

the bad

i’m not even that personally upset but it just goes to show how important an ending is. how a story leaves you makes such a significant impression. it’s probably the most important part of a narrative and OMG THESE WRITERS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRAP THINGS UP AT ALL, IT’S SO FUNNYYYYY.

so anyway, yeah........ episode 13.......................... what.

like wtf was ep 13.

what.

what even WAS THAT. PEOPLE got PAID to write THAT.

lance became... altean? can that.... happen? also........... why???

and a farmer?? a simple life?? where did that even come from??? like sure, lance was homesick and missed rain one time. that doesn’t.... it just..... that doesn’t mean he should just be a random farmer?????? whose gf died, i guess??

speaking of that, OMG they fucking KILLED ALLURA. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. WHAT A DUMB CHOICE. I’M STILL LAUGHING. I HAD NO EXPECTATION THAT THAT WOULD HAPPEN. WOULD NEVER HAVE EXPECTED THAT. AND YET IT DID. WTF. HOW CAN YOU MAKE SUCH A DUMB WRITING CHOICE. HOW???

and the fact that they didn’t even EXPLAIN why honerva & allura had to do whatever it is they did????? criminal. ridiculous.

and all that aside, allura and coran’s relationship was so important and so special and the fact the she and him didn’t get a goodbye? garbage. unbelievable.

and to add to that, all of her goodbyes were underwhelming. shiro being like “you don’t have to thank me for anything” umm, what. yes she does. you did a lot. wtf, what was with that?

like i love allura, but also, why was the ending SO FOCUSED on just her?? And by that, i mean including the choice to kill her off. VLD has always been about the group. It just was a weird vibe to end on for many, many reasons. The ending should’ve been about her and the rest of them recognizing how they were more than just friends or paladins. They were family... like ALL THE WRITERS HAD TO DO was have them all together at the end?? I’m not even joking. That needed to be the ending, point blank...... AND THEY COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT. WHYYYY

ok moving on but still related, I HATE slideshow endings like that, in pretty much anything that isn’t a documentary or historical drama. I feel like it’s such a cop out. Writers should find confidence and end their story on a specific note. Not a series of slides.

as i was watching ep 13, tbh, the title got me excited. “the end is the beginning” made me feel like they were somehow going to get thrust back in time for a brief second to the moment they all met at the garrison, or met allura and coran, and somehow that was going to get pulled into the finale as a way they could re-establish all the destroyed realities.... so i guess this is my own fault for just hoping for something that wasn’t there, but whatever.

i think lotor and zarkon also got some really undeserved positive recognition. like, they both killed a LOT of people... some things are just too little too late.

lotor coming “back” was also like, half assed. it was weird. it would’ve made more sense for honerva to start jumping through different realities earlier in the season “looking” for a version of her son and husband that she could be with.

too many big robots. like..... so many different kinds of big robots. i couldn’t care less.

as always, a lot of the fight scenes were repetitive as hell. I wish they’d been more creative and written them taking on different approaches rather than just charging at the bad guys.

WHERE IS MY FORMAL WEAR EPISODE

sorry to hate on allurance, but like, neither lance or allura felt like their actual selves whenever they were together or trying to be a couple... it was weird and sad. Lance barely ever acted like himself this season.

I thought they threw krolia around a bit too casually. Like she barely pops up and when she did it almost felt like the writers were like “oh yeah, i guess we should include her every now and then”

i thought allura being like “i don’t have a family” to lance was bullshit. like, hello, coran and romelle are right freaking there. more alteans are showing up every day. girl, what tf do you mean???

allura was also kind of excessively mean on multiple occasions?? she was cutting people off, being unreasonable, reckless, and kind of dark..... i didn’t really understand the sudden downfall of her character when she’d started out as this sort of insecure victim, but season after season became stronger and stronger and an awesome member of voltron. idk, it just felt out of place to make her a part of the problem for the final act.

i wish i had......... cried. i wish they’d written at least one moment well enough that i actually got to experience at least a little bit of a tear.

adam didn’t magically come back from the dead.

OMG and the kiss between shiro and random dude???? IT WAS SO SLOPPY, I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. it was obviously thrown in at the very last possible moment because they were trying to cover their own asses about the adam thing. like, what was with that bad animation....

epilogues in general are just........ so bad. no one should do them. stop.

omg they never explained the altean colonies...

honestly, as we kept getting closer and closer to the last episode, i was like....... they do know this is the LAST season, right??? they’re kind of running out of time??

that black entity thing should’ve been fleshed out more and had more of an actual purpose, especially because they touched on it before with the paladins of old.

i feel like the writers just threw so many things out there over 8 seasons and didn’t actually.... resolve most of them. like, they needed to edit down sooooo much of what they were trying to do. it would’ve been such a stronger series overall if they’d just FOCUSED on the actual compelling parts of this story and its characters.

i feel zero closure tbh, lol. whatever.

the mixed

overall, i was pretty engaged for the most part from episode to episode, but i did get pretty damn bored a few times.

oh god, the leaks were real. it’s good and bad.

lance and allura still felt SOOOO forced and awkward but at least they tried to give them some actual substance.

like I said before, yay romelle was back! but boo, she wasn’t as quirky or funny anymore :(

Slav bothering everyone was still quite enjoyable to me. i wish shiro had gotten roped into that more, tho. Missed opportunity.

Atlas didn’t feel quite as dumb... but it was still kind of dumb.

i thought honerva honestly held up as a villain. Maybe not a FINAL season villain, but meh. her motivation seemed legit enough and the lengths she was willing to go after 10k years of pain seemed real. I just..... ugh, i wish they’d stuck to her just being evil. Or revengeful. Lok tried to do the same thing with kuvira right at the end. there just... wasn’t enough time to actually do that right, in either case. Or if they were going to do it, Honerva should’ve sacrificed just herself and allura should’ve left with all the other paladins, and that could’ve redeemed her character if that’s what they were going for.

the 2nd episode that focused just on honerva was... fine i guess, but i thought they didn’t define the mixing of timelines very well. it would jump from one clip to another and i didn’t realize fully that we’d gone back in time, or returned to the present, or were seeing this important thing before moving on to another. idk, the order just didn’t work for me.

i’m glad allura got so much more focus but i feel like keith had so many important story points throughout every season and it felt weird that he was kind of just in the background for the most part of every episode.... like if vld had a “main” character, i always kind of felt that it was slightly keith.... so i’m sad that he didn’t really get much of an ending.

and that being said, i guess this is just a negative, but i feel like keith and shiro’s relationship just didn’t matter anymore??? that was so weird to me?? it was such a focus for SO LONG, it didn’t feel good to just never address them ever.

there was this really awesome momentum going in the first half of season 8 for this theme of “not holding on to the past / letting the old give way to the new” and they just….. totally lost it. Like, it just never came up again by the end, lol. But i liked it a lot while it was initially there. Just.... wish these writers knew how to stick a landing, jesus.

like, that older olkari woman that pidge was trying to call out to? she probably had one of the best speeches of the season when she was telling that little olkari girl to go on and be a part of the future. that’s what i’m saying. it had good momentum. they just didn’t fully realize it :/

i think where they started to lose the narrative was in the two part episode, the knights of light ones. going into honerva’s mind seemed cool and i appreciated them trying to do a few interesting things with it, but bringing back the old paladins didn’t feel right. For some reason, I didn’t enjoy allura reconnecting with like, the spirit of her father. I felt like it was a loss that should’ve remained a loss. and yeah, just in general, having them bring up the idea of the benefits and power behind “the old making way for the new” just wasn’t supported by bringing the old paladins BACK... it felt counterproductive. i didn’t like it.

Anyway. I feel like i’m still forgetting stuff and I’ll probably go back and edit this post but yeah. Enjoyed a decent chunk of the final season. Cannot..... even believe how dumb some of the writing choices were. Will forever be slightly confused. Canon is whatever. I’ve still enjoyed this show and its characters and a lot of the amazing content fans have created for it, and it is what it is and at least it’s over and done with :]

#spoilers #so many spoilers #vld spoilers #voltron s8 #voltron #my thoughts

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sugar--pie · 6 years ago

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Okay so um.. meta time?

Idk I suck at these.

And like, this is- I could be sooooo off about this, like, TAKE THIS WITH A MAJOR GRAIN OF SALT YALL. I could be super wrong and probably make literally no sense...

But anyways.

I was reading some older metas by @klance-meta/on their blog ; this one more specifically

And basically it talks about Lance and Keith’s connections to Blue and Red; Blue having some sort of connection to Keith in the first episode of Season 1 though Lance becomes the Paladin, and Lance having a few foreshadowed hints to flying Red (which at this point of the post being created was before Season 4, and they weren’t sure if Lance flying red would be permanent or temporary ) either way, the two had some form of a connection between eachothers lions.

This has literally nothing to do with what I’m going to talk about, except for them bringing up Keith during his Blade of Marmora trials, and demonstrating these scenes:

When Keith is experiencing a dreamscape “demonstrating his greatest hopes and fears” it shows him being rejected by Red, probably cause at the time he thought being Galra would be considered a bad thing, and the team would reject him. Damn, really pulling through on his worst fear - that’s Keith’s arc for you.

The post mentioned that A lot of this could be foreshadow - the craziest thing I find is when Keith is shown in his fathers old shack asking him if he wanted to know the truth about his mother (and Keith declines because that’s not important in that moment and decided to do what’s right) Keith before is shown looking out his window seeing what appears to be Earth, being attacked by the Galra.

Now... after watching season 7, we all know the paladins made it to Earth, Keith is very much NOT IN RED, and perfectly confident flying Black and leading the team now. So, the craziest thing about this scene, is that it felt like it should be foreshadowing something... or other.. SOMEONE.

Remember Lance flies Red now. He’s getting his arc, and I know it’s meant to be a Romantic one, but I feel like another huge part of his arc will be getting so insecure to the point he feels like he’s incapable of being part of or useful to the team....

This where it gets interesting.

AGAIN TAKE THIS WITH THE TINIEST GRAIN OF SALT OKAY.

I know there’s all this theorizing that Keith might get “brainwashed” or “compromised” by Haggar - the obvious Final villain. But... what if it’s actually Lance.

I mean seriously, think about it, I wouldn’t write Lance off cause he’s not Galra, but because he could be so emotionally and mentally compromised already because his team makes him believe he has no part of it.

Keith only being Galra can’t really be a reason for him being brainwashed as ... there were so many Galra who were good, and even the the bad Galra’s were following Zarkon willingly, not because they were brainwashed.

EDIT: (it has come to my attention that the reason people theorize Keith would be compromised by Haggar is because he has a crazy kind of quintessence which would make sense- lol to be fair i haven’t read much of the theories about a Lance/Keith fight so... yeah. I assumed it was because Keith was Galra... But most of this still stands!)

I literally stared at this for awhile as it could very well be foreshadowing Lance being compromised and turning bad for a bit. I don’t even think in this scene Keith tells his dad he needs to get to his lion, I believe he said he needs to help, but overall he never stated he needed to help USING the Red Lion. Especially on what appears to be earth.

Let’s point out the facts:

- the paladins made it to earth, obviously the red lion didn’t reject Keith as Keith wasn’t it’s Paladin.

- Lance is in the red lion.

(But do you remember there was a moment in S7 where Red wasn’t connecting to Lance???? Moving on)

- this is clearly about/happening on Earth.

- and this dreamscape does foreshadow in some way because Keith’s dad tells him he can learn who he is by finding out what his blade means. Keith discovers his mom later and where his blade came from. It’s also the first episode where he unlocks the blade for knowing who he is/accepting who he is.

Keith to me getting “compromised” by Haggar just cause he’s Galra seems like the least likely if any of them do turn evil unwillingly. He’s also the most sure of himself compared to any team member, and the only way to get compromised is insecurity, or some sort of personal weakness, which... Keith kind of doesn’t have anymore. The only thing that could cause him weakness is being rejected by the team... but the most likely to get rejected at this point isn’t Keith but... someone else.

So... aka: Lance might possibly be the one to actually turn bad, as he has some kind of personal weakness within that could cause him to be compromised.

Now I know I know... someone’s gonna say it—- “the Earth arc is done, it’s gonna be all about the Alteans now!” I actually disagree, I personally feel like it’ll be back and forth between earth and the Altean colony... so earth being out of the question for this final battle could still very much happen.

Zarkon and Alfor ... had their final battle on Altea (I believe?) when Alfor lost, Zarkon destroyed Altea.

If there’s a fight between Lance and Keith, it’d be more fitting to be on the place they ... or one of them specifically came from — since they’re both kind of from Earth, Earth seems more fitting for their (possible) fight.

This scene in general makes it look like The Red lion is watching the Galra attack. The eyes are lit so it’s not like anyone isn’t in the pilot’s seat already. And consider this - if Lance is compromised or bad... Voltron would be useless without him. Keith telling his dad he needs to go do something - go to the red lion, could be foreshadowing Keith needing to step up and go to Lance directly. Again... if this fight happens and if this is foreshadowing Lance being bad... this is what I envision all this going down would look like.

Someone made a post about Fire and how it could reference aspects in a Lance and Keith battle... there’s literally implied fire burning behind the red lion.

So... once again take this as a major Grain of salt. Since this is in a “Keiths greatest hopes and Fears” I’m not trying to imply he’s thinking Lance will turn bad as again, Keith was flying the Red lion at the time... it could also have just been demonstrating Keith’s fear that if he’s Galra he could turn on the team — which I guess is also slight foreshadowing of him becoming bad... but again it’s on earth, and Keith isn’t flying Red.

But wouldn’t it be a twist if Lance ended up bad instead? Lance has been compared to King Alfor, by Allura and by getting an Altean Broadsword, and Keith, being in the Black Liok could very well be referenced as Zarkon...

But I remember a theory someone made where they suggested maybe ALTEANS ARENT ALL THAT PERFECT EITHER. The Alteans could show their true colours too since S8 will most likely be all about the Alteans. So having Lance(Alfor) be the bad one, and Keith(Zarkon) be the good one... could be a huge parallel twist.

Hopefully this made sense...

Again I suck at writing these, so this probably made no sense... maybe someone who is actually good at writing and made sense of this can summarize it better. Maybe @klance-meta if they want to xD

Anyways idk, take this as what you will. A klance thing, a Season 8 theory... either way it exists now.

#klance #laith #season 8

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unityghost · 6 years ago

Text

Scratches

I’ve come to supply the internet with more angst. One can never have too much angst. It’s kind of like parmesan cheese.

This fic, part 6 of my ultra-emo series Post-Asmodeus Sabriel Feels, is based on a prompt I got from @t-rexhighfives, who proposed the following: “later down the line (like probably a yearor two in the future), sam having a particularly bad day (bc lord knows sam hasnt been allowed to work through his own traumas, both bc of everything that happens and bc he wont let himself work through it) and then gabe is having a moderately bad day (not awful, not the worst, but not great either) and sam is trying to help gabe and its just. not working. and gabe is like '... sam, you okay?' and sams just like ‘fine, im fine’ and they both know its a lie and so gabe decides that since sam has helped him so much, hes gonna return the favor (idk if this is even interesting or good, i just think it would be interesting to have the tables turned on sam lol)”

It was good, and it was interesting! So thanks.

WARNING: This story contains brief references to torture and sexual assault.

... The spirit had been slaughtered by a local priest, and was exercising his revenge upon the clergy at the church across from where he was buried. Every seventy years or so, the parishioners were given the news that their pastor - or, occasionally, the assistant priest - had been burned alive. The general consensus was that it was suicide, and that the latest victims had picked up the idea from the unfortunate history of the parish. Sure, there were rumors of curses, of witchcraft and phantoms - but it was all fare for a small town whose self-image was all eighteenth-century colonial New England serenity.

The whole thing should have been a simple affair - gathering the sources, visiting the church, identifying the grave. And all of that had indeed been pretty straightforward; what they hadn’t anticipated was how swift and vicious the spirit proved to be.

He caught them in the dead of night just as they were preparing to incinerate the remains. Dean was armed with a lit match, per protocol, and the spirit seized it from his hand before throwing himself at Sam, forcing him into the dewey grass. He began to scratch at Sam’s face with ragged fingernails, and he screamed about the priest who had counseled him, the priest who had believed that some people deserved an early damnation. The spirit howled about how he himself had been among the casualties of the rector’s delusion.

But the spirit gave a spidery smile as he spoke about burning any priest that dared to warn the congregants about the dangers of taking a fellow man or woman to bed, lest they find themselves punished by the devil - just as he had been punished by the Reverend Casper Lockwood.

Only as the spirit attacked his brother did Dean find himself grateful that Sam allowed Gabriel to accompany them. Wickford Village in North Kingstown, Rhode Island was one of the few places Gabriel had never been in his millennia of existence.

“It’s not like there’s any real reason to go to Rhode Island at all,” he’d insisted. “Who cares about clams and potholes? But,” he conceded, “I could use a trip to overpriced new-age tourist shops as much as the next guy. You ever get ahold of those A-to-Z angel encyclopedias? I’m gonna sneak in and draw Shrek all over them.”

But in the cemetery, Gabriel - whose grace had returned in full force over the year since his rescue from Asmodeus - wrenched the spirit off of Sam, whose face was streaked with blood from the wounds inflicted by jagged fingernails, and pinned him down. But the spirit was strong; it seized Gabriel’s legs and threw him into the ground, reversing their positions so that Gabriel was crushed.

But there is no taking away an archangel’s ability to start a fire once he’s made up his mind and has his hands free.

Gabriel snapped his fingers, and the remains ignited.

Sam lay on the ground, listening to the growl of the flames.

By the time it was all over, the sky had inched from blue to gray, and Dean could barely stand up. Neither he nor Sam had slept in over twenty-four hours. He stumbled on his way back to the car, parked on the quiet village road strewn with the first shriveled leaves of late September.

“Dude,” said Sam, watching his brother collapse against the car. “You’re not driving like that.”

“I’m just tired; Father Pyro barely even noticed me.” Dean straightened up, pulled the door open, and hit himself himself in an inopportune area. “Son of a - !” He bent double and groaned. “You win this round, jerk. Get in the car.”

“No thanks, bitch. You think Cas could drive? I was thinking of hanging around, getting some breakfast at the café we saw on our way over.”

Dean raised his head to stare at Sam. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean, I can’t go to sleep now that it’s almost daylight.”

“I don’t even know where Cas - ”

“I’m here, Dean.” Cas shuffled over to them, face littered with fine bloody streaks just as Sam’s was. “Sam - ” He placed his middle and index fingers on Sam’s forehead and the pain of the scratch marks faded.

Sam touched his face. Only five o’ clock shadow. “Thanks. Now heal yourself.”

Castiel shook his head. “I don’t have enough grace at the moment. Fighting back was a little more than I’d - ”

“Let me, brother.” Gabriel touched him just as Castiel had touched Sam, and the wounds melted away.

“Sam, you’re gonna have to drive,” Dean instructed. His forehead was wrinkled in discomfort but he seemed otherwise recovered. That clumsy accident was, Sam realized gratefully, the worst that had happened to his brother tonight. “Cas is exhausted.”

Castiel looked more closely at Sam. “Sam, are you all right?”

“Yeah, Cas, you patched me up. Should have saved some of that juice for your - ”

“No. I mean you look distressed.”

Gabriel shot Sam a sharp glance. “He’s right, kiddo. What’s the matter?”

“I’m okay.” Sam was embarrassed. “Just thought I’d stick around for a little bit. I can always sleep later. You guys can head on back to the motel.”

“Sammy, you should come too.” Dean’s tone was gentler this time. “You need to get some rest. Come on.”

Sam shook his head. “I’m fine. Really. I promise. Later, okay?”

“I could use a cup of coffee myself,” Gabriel chimed in.

“You don’t need caffeine,” Sam pointed out. “It doesn’t do anything for you.”

Gabriel inclined his head in acknowledgement. “Technically you’re right. But in a much more important sense, you’re wrong. And besides, I just got a nice little bone-fire going for you guys, didn’t I?”

“You do realize how that sounds, don’t you?” Dean groaned.

Gabriel ignored him. “Coffee can only lead to more grace, am I right, little bro?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Castiel replied.

“Oh, you’ve had one too many herbal teas. This guy” - he jerked a thumb at Sam - “is a bad influence.

“Gabe,” Sam interrupted, “I kind of want to be by myself.”

“Archangel vote counts as two; it’s the rules.”

Sam scoffed. “Whose rules?”

“Humans aren’t allowed access to that kind of information. Know your place, Sam. Now let’s go; these two want to get on the road.”

Sam struggled for a moment before admitting defeat. “Whatever, yeah, fine. I’ll see you guys later, okay?”

Dean hesitated. “Call if anything comes up. We’ll be around.”

Castiel’s gaze met Sam’s. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

Sam crossed his arms, shuddering against a chilly breeze. The sting of the wounds echoed in his skin like the remnants of a bad smell. “Yeah. Fine.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Gabriel promised.

With some reluctance, Dean and Cas climbed into the Impala, then drove away until they turned left on Main Street and disappeared.

Sam started walking in that same direction, saying nothing and refusing to acknowledge Gabriel keeping pace alongside him.

Sam kept touching his face, inspecting it for damage, and tried to ignore the twist of his stomach and the pounding of his heart.

But the silvery morning was too quiet, quiet enough to usher in a new voice: the voice that had playfully told him to hold still, that he wasn’t allowed to writhe in agony, that the more he screamed the deeper the knife would dig into him.

To Gabriel’s credit, he didn't try to initiate conversation. But it was hard for Sam to ignore the feeling of being examined from eight inches below.

The café opened its doors at 6:00, so they had fifteen minutes to lean against the bulky wood fence blocking off pedestrians from the water underneath. Off in the distance they could see a harbor and a few ducks and geese paddling their way into the daylight.

Finally, Gabriel spoke. “What was that?”

Sam shoved his hands into his pockets. “What was what?”

“The way you looked like you were gonna be sick the second that undadly freak of creation went back to where it belonged. What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

Gabriel’s expression darkened. “No, Sam. Nooooooo, no no no no no. I am not about to play the same game with you that you play with me.

"Sam creased his brow. “What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” When Sam continued to look puzzled, Gabriel sighed. “That stupid back-and-forth where I freak out, and you become some kind of saintly masochist, and I try to get you to go away, and you say things like ‘Let me help you, Gabe’ and ‘I’m not gonna hurt you, Gabe’ and ‘I don’t want you to keep this inside, Gabe.’ That game.”

Sam looked away.

“Spill it, Winchester. What’s going on with you?”

Still averting his eyes, Sam muttered, “Bad memories. That's all.”

“That’s all.”

“Yes, Gabriel. That’s all.”

“Okay, well, what was that thing you said to me about trying to open up when someone offers to help make things feel a little less, I don’t know, soul-crushing? Oh, that’s right: you said to open up when someone offers to help make things feel a little less soul-crushing.”

Sam shook his head, thought about crossing his arms again, and realized he felt safer if he tried not to move at all. “You’re not going to want to hear it. It’s … it’s Hell stuff. It’d remind you of what happened with Asmodeus.”

“You mean like my stuff made you remember your time in the Cage?” He felt almost satisfied at the guilt that crossed Sam’s face. “Sam. Come on. It’s me. I owe you one anyway.”

“We’re not trading stocks,” Sam protested. “You’re not ready to deal with my shit, Gabriel.”

“Well if this stubbornness is anything to go by, you weren’t ready to deal with mine either.”

There were several moments of silence, in which Gabriel realized the weight of what he had said.

“You’ve helped so much,” he told Sam, hugging himself in a protective stance; and Sam could see that he was suddenly afraid someone would hurt him for his mistake. “I didn’t mean you haven’t. You’ve done a good job. You’re too patient, Sam. I don’t deserve what you’ve given me. Shut up,” he added as Sam opened his mouth to object. “My point is that I want to return the favor, not that I have to.”

Sam sighed. Gabriel let him have a few moments to think before Sam finally spoke. “That guy … the spirit … you saw the way he pinned me to the ground and made cuts all over my face?”

“Uncourteous bastard,” Gabriel agreed.

“Well …” Sam rubbed his palms together, staring off somewhere into the distance. “I still get these … these dreams about how Lucifer used to do the same thing. Only … only instead of trapping me on the ground, he’d throw me into the fire and keep me there while he drew on me. Pictures, you know - graffiti, sort of. Family pictures of all his brothers and sisters - every last one. But like …” Sam swallowed. “He used knives. All kinds of knives. I, uh - yeah. Yeah, that’s …” He trailed off, lowering his gaze to the sidewalk, examining his shoes - caked with clammy soil from the cemetery.

Gabriel tilted his head. “All right. Welp. That explains it. Now was that so hard?”

“Damn it, Gabriel.” Sam looked angry. “You know it is.”

Gabriel flinched. “I just … I want to help you.”

Sam glanced at him, and his expression softened in concern. “Gabriel, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to - ”

Gabriel waved a dismissive hand. “No, no, I’m good. Really. But anyway, Sam - why are you keeping this under wraps? Or, I mean, are you? Isn’t your brother there to listen? Or my brother?”

“I don’t know; I guess they could be.”

“But you won’t say anything.”

“I …” Sam licked his lips. “Gabriel … you understand. You understand better than anyone. I can’t talk about it because … because there’s too much there. Because I want to forget. And because I - ” The words caught in his throat. Gabriel watched him closely, wondering how to handle this with Sam as well as Sam had with him.

“Because what?” he pressed.

“Because I - because the last thing we need is extra problems,” Sam blurted out. “You’ve all got enough to be dealing with. And me complaining isn’t going to change anything; you know that! Besides,” he added more calmly, “This was your first time on a hunt with us - ever since things started to get a little better. You should be worrying about yourself, Gabriel.”

“Did you forget what I told you about how archangels have the final - ”

“The way he held you down.” Sam’s voice was quiet. “I know what that must have done to you.”

Gabriel tensed and Sam almost wished he hadn’t said anything to remind Gabriel of all those nightmares, all those spasms of memories - memories of the cold stone floor against his back and the hard warm body on top of him. “I’m not denying that. But look at me: I’m okay. A little shaken up, maybe, but okay. I knew what I was getting into. And anyway, now that I don’t need food or sleep I won’t have nightmares or puke my guts up. So forget about me for a second.”

Silence fell again. And then Sam said, “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Gabriel gave an exasperated sigh. “Yes, yeah, Sam, I do. You’ve drilled that into my brain. But now that I have a clear head, I want to help you too.”

“Why?”

Gabriel stared at him in disbelief. “I don’t know, maybe something to do with the fact that you've held my head over the toilet in the middle of the night so many times I lost count? Or the way you made sure nobody ever touched me without my permission? Or how, after months of me clinging to you, you didn’t give up?”

Sam grimaced. “Well, that was because you were …” He tried to find a diplomatic adjective. “… troubled.”

Gabriel tutted. “If by ‘troubled’ you mean ‘an undignified disaster,’ then I agree. But how is this any different, really? Come on. I’m not gonna take a single thing you say seriously if you don’t prove to me that you can practice what you preach.”

“Gabriel.” Sam was frustrated now. “What happened to me happened a long time ago. You’re just getting back on your feet. You need to focus on - ”

“You’re right.” Gabriel touched his shoulder as delicately as possible, knowing what it was like to be afraid of touch. “It was a long time ago. But that means it’s been sitting with you for years. What have you done with it? What I’d really like is for you to let me know when something freaks you out - don’t just hold that in. But it doesn’t have to be me; it can be anyone.”

Seagulls squawked overhead. The twin aromas of coffee and pastries drifted through the crisp morning air; 6:00 A.M. had come and gone, and the café doors were open. But neither of them made a move to go in.

“I think I’d want it to be you.” The confession surprised Gabriel, and he blinked. “Because … I think you’d genuinely want to hear it. Not Dean; he’s worse than I am. He’s not even tempted to say anything and he doesn’t need me throwing out all these reminders of what he went through.” His features hardened. “But neither do you. I know you’re more interested, and it’s not that I don’t appreciate it - I do. But it’s gonna make things worse for you. Bring up all kinds of stuff.”

“That’s okay.”

Sam tried to quell his anger so that he wouldn’t frighten Gabriel. “No, it’s not. Not after all your hard work.”

Gabriel snorted. “I think you mean your hard work.”

“Give yourself some credit, Gabe.”

“You give yourself some credit! Man, are you difficult to work with! Look, you told me about the knife thing Lucifer did, and do I seem upset to you? Do I seem like I’m freaked out?”

Sam studied him. Then he said, “No. You don’t. I’m glad.”

“Great. Okay, your turn. Ask me if I think you seem upset.”

Sam gripped the bar of the fence until his knuckles turned white. “Okay - fine. I’m not gonna disagree with you.” A pause. “Look, I know what I went through. I understand what you’re trying to tell me, all right? But I’ll get over it. I’ve been dealing with this for long enough that I know what to do when things get bad. I don��t want to bring anyone else into it.”

“I hear what you’re saying about me and your brother,” Gabriel admitted, “But why won’t you talk to Cas? He’ll be fine.”

“He doesn’t know how to address this kind of thing. Can you imagine how that would go down?”

“What are you - ” Gabriel stared at him. “Do you even know him at all? Of course he’d know what to say! You’ve been the Three Musketeers for how many years now? And you think he’s not tuned in enough to help?”

Sam remembered how Castiel had looked at him back in the cemetery, brow furrowed in concern, and felt a twinge of guilt for misjudging him. “No, you’re right. That was a dumb thing to say.” 

“Sam.” Gabriel somehow managed to sound simultaneously gentle and stern. “You don’t look okay. You really don’t.”

“Well I’m covered in graveyard dirt, so I’d have to agree with you there.”

“You’re pale. Sick. Shaky. Here, look - ” He picked up one of Sam’s hands to demonstrate that it was trembling.

Humiliated, Sam pulled away. “Don’t do that.”

But Gabriel seized his hand again and glared, no longer desperate but suddenly determined. “Listen up, you obdurate son of a bitch. I really, really don’t want to see you hurting. You always talked about how hard it was for you to watch me, remember? That’s what this is like! We’ve spent too much time together for me to play along and pretend you’re okay. I want to help. So please. Just let me.”

Sam paused, meeting his eyes.

Gabriel looked so much more like himself these days.

Sam took a deep breath. “I just don’t - ” He looked around, examining every part of the unfamiliar setting, hoping to distract himself from the tightness in his throat. “I - ”

Gabriel waited, still gripping his hand. When Sam didn’t continue, his voice softened. “There’s no one around, Sam. Just me.”

Sam looked at him, face flushed and eyes bright.

“It’s okay,” Gabriel went on. “Stop it. You’re hurting yourself.”

Sam turned his face away and squeezed his eyes shut. Now the prickling of the cuts was gone, replaced by the brininess of tears.

Damn it. After everything he’d been through with Gabriel - trying to bring him back to life, to coax him into something like what he had once been, to make the present feel stronger than the past - it was cruel of him to make Gabriel watch this.

Sam managed to compose himself enough to speak. “You know that feeling? The feeling that … that you can’t get out? That it’s happening right now and no one can help?”

Gabriel clutched his hand tighter. “Of course I do. But it’ll go away.”

Sam used his free hand to cover his mouth as the pressure against his chest became too solid to choke down.

“It will,” Gabriel insisted. “I’ll ride it out with you.”

Sam shook his head, clenching his eyes shut again, horribly ashamed. He lowered his hand. “It doesn't go away. It just - just gets worse before going down to where it usually is.”

Reminding himself that it wouldn’t get better - that it wouldn’t leave him alone - wrenched his control away.

He leaned up against the fence, trying to hide his face, trying to breathe.

“All right.” Gabriel put a hand on his back. “Just let it go back down to normal. Just wait for a few minutes. It’s gonna be okay.”

“No, it’s - that’s not what it feels like. Oh god - ” Sam shuddered, although there was no breeze this time. “You remember, don’t you? You know how bad it is. But you - you always talked about how you could tell the difference, how you knew your mind was playing tricks on you. Sometimes I just ... I don’t know where I really am, or who’s really with me. It’s - ” He released another harsh, desperate sob. “It’s too real.”

“Yeah, I knew how to separate one from the other. But only because I know how tricks work. They’re meant to feel real. And hey, so what if you can’t figure out what’s there and what’s not? Huh? Doesn’t change the fact that you’re gonna be fine.”

Nearly gagging from the effort of trying to maintain some semblance of dignity, Sam rasped, “Why did you make me do this? Why’d you want to make it stronger?”

“I didn’t!” Abruptly, Gabriel let go of his hand and took a step back. “I meant to make it easier!”

“I know - but -” He lowered his head, watching the sidewalk swim in a rough gray blur underneath him. “I told you not to.”

“Didn’t I always tell you the same thing?”

“No!” Sam jerked his head up despite feeling disgusted with himself. “I mean, yes, sometimes. But once in a while you … you looked for me. And you should have; I told you you could. But this is different, I ... I just wanted to be left alone.”

Gabriel looked helpless again. “You’re always alone. Because you don’t care about yourself enough to ask for what you need.” He hesitated.” You’re not scared of being touched, right? Not the way that I was?”

Am, Sam corrected silently. Aloud, he said, “Not usually. Not anymore. I - ”

Delicately, in case Sam wasn’t telling the full truth, Gabriel leaned forward and embraced him. Not the way Sam had done for him in moments of terror - Gabriel was so small that there couldn’t have been the same warmth and protection he got when Sam hugged him.

But Sam could tell he tried.

“I don’t care if you can’t tell what’s real,” Gabriel muttered. “You hold yourself together too well.”

“I really don’t.” Tentatively, Sam wrapped either arm around Gabriel’s shoulders.

“Come on. Your standards can’t be that high after a year of putting up with me.” Gabriel squeezed more tightly.

Sam was surprised - not so much by Gabriel’s outburst of affection but by his own reaction to it. He relaxed slightly, began to shiver a little less forcefully.

“That’s it,” Gabriel murmured. “You’re gonna be okay.”

They stood like that for several minutes, until Dean called to make sure everything was okay.

It wasn’t.

But gradually the wail of seagulls grew louder than the roar of hellfire.

...

Please do come say hi on Archive of Our Own. Thanks for reading!

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blueskyheadleft010 · 6 years ago

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A few stray thoughts [Wrapping up watching Voltron S7]

But okay, first off I want to say this is obviously spoilery so don’t like, don’t read.

Also, my opinion will probs be a bit contradictory to most of the tumblr voltron fans, but bare with me here, I just wanted to point out some interesting things...

Okay so first, I just wanted to say the the ‘Family Feud’ rip off ep made me want to gag, and the only thing I liked about it was Pidge being smart enough to fool ‘Bob the host’ into letting his guard down so she could attack him.

Also, why? was it even needed? at all???? Honestly, the whole ep was like an animated bad work of fiction, and I seriously cannot believe the writers would pull this kinda crap so late in the series.

Moving on, there were points in the show that had me excited but there was also low points were I just wanted the story to move on and I felt like they were trying too hard to connect crucial moments and ended up adding in random junk because they had no idea what to fill in.

For example, the druid fight and finding Kolivan could’ve been shortened way down and honestly nothing would’ve changed.

Also, can we just talk about how Kolivan was being held? And (possibly) waterboarded?!? When I first saw that I was like, ‘woah, holy shit guys. That’s not okay. That’s not an okay thing to do/show’. That was fucking terrifying to watch, and even if he wasn’t being treated that way, the fact alone that he was being held in the air by rope in a very painful position is very scary and if Kolivan was real I would’ve been seriously concerned how tf he lasted so long without losing circulation to at least his extremities.

‘The Last Stand’ was where I began regaining my interest in the story as finally we got to see Sam back on Earth, and hot damn did he ever deliver the justice that the Garrison deserved.

I also liked Iverson not ending up being a jerk, and was honestly just trying to keep the peace and do the right thing. It was a huge improvement, and whether or not he deserved this change in character, he reminded the audience that people can change and become better, which is something I can get behind 100%. :)

(Lol, tho I totally predicted the lady commander being evil. She had her head too far up her butt to see the light of day. Doesn’t mean I agree with her dying tho :U)

Anyways, I love how Sam just ends up taking the reigns, being an overall wonderful/kind man, and laying down the law just flat out instead of trying to play nice and let Earth be mowed over by the Galra. (Would’ve liked to have heard from other global powers about what their thoughts were on this whole plan, but meh I guess that would’ve been too crazy to write with everything else going on.)

What I didn’t expect was how long they were going to focus on the Garrison arc, and like, all the people inside. Like, that’s fine I guess? but it made me worry that we were going to be seeing something like Go!Lion or have another voltron team or something, and really the only 2 people on the fighter team we knew were Keith’s rival? and Lance’s sister, but the other people might as well have just been random civilians because idk what their background was other than they were good pilots.

(also was the blond chick autistic or something? idk she just seemed a little less socially adept and more like a calculating computer, and god would I have loved it if they said she was and showed more about her and the other people because I can just sense a story behind them...)

It was cool seeing Earth tech and Altean tech work to make the Atlas, but seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!? You just HAD to make another voltron toy to sell didn’t you Dreamworks? V_V

Why did you make Shiro be the pilot? Why did the Atlas have to become the new Castle of the Lions? How come Coran couldn’t help with anything aboard it? HOW COME THE SHIP DIDN’T FREAKING BLOW UP AFTER THAT FIRST SPACE SHOT?!?

All of this felt weird and odd, and like now that it is the new CotL, idk what to think. It’s just odd to have a bunch of military/space cadets running about on a ship and listening to young adults/teenaged voltron pilots tell them what to do to help in a war.

Also, how come we didn’t see anything about the humans as slaves in Galra encampments? Like, is humanity screwed now? The galara did blow up their satellites, how will Earth work the same?

This was literally 9/11-WWIV to them. Which is so bizarre.

The paladins literally came back to an Earth that, for all they knew, was completely obliterated, and they were just walking over corpses. (There had to be some. There was no way every human on that planet evacuated in time.) That thought alone is weird to think about in a Y7 kids production.

Not to mention the fact that this even happened at all?? Like, I get the fear of Earth being destroyed is a terrifying thing, but the writers just kept dangling it over our heads so much that for a bit I genuinely believed that the amount of bs going on against the heroes would just pile up and the Earth was just going to be fucking obliterated by how many holes were in their plans. The only thing keeping me from that was the fact that there would be no show if they did that, but that’s not a very comforting thought, nor does it make me want to root for everyone. What’s the point when you know how it’s going to end?

Idk, it was so out of place I felt like I was watching an entirely different show. Since when did the paladins ever fight like military pilots? Why and how were there random pockets of human resistance that could somehow communicate to each other? How tf did the Garrison come up with tech to stop the drones from sending out signals to each other? Why didn’t they use that to stop Sendak’s ships???

Granted, there was some solid planning (mostly from Sam) that was genuinely smart (like the mini satellites they used that were too tiny and so many that the Galra couldn’t shoot at them); but most of everything after ‘The Last Stand’ episodes became a giant martyr after giant martyr of the team defying the odds but not having time to catch their breath. And that last robeast? I get why they needed to show off where the Altean colony went to, but the fight was lackluster compared to fighting Sendak’s whole fucking army and winning. (Even Allura complains about this, showing how self aware this show actually is when they put their thinking hats on).

The fact that the robeast was even that fucking powerful in the first place was insanity and why would you even have an impossible to beat villain take down the most hard to kill heroic team anyways? Aren’t we trying to show how friendship saves the day? Why give Shiro that credit? What the hell does he have that the paladins don't?

Apparently a big fucking ship named Atlas. That’s what.

And now we move onto my biggest grievance: The deaths and near-deaths of characters.

Why. Just why?

It was so poorly done, and kinda random. Adam didn’t get the screen time the writers were building up for him. All of Shiro’s problems, his degenerative disease, his near death again after the clone body tried to reject him (which ‘thank you Shiro’ we ‘totally’ need to be reminded how much shit you went through when you were talking with Lance about it. Not cool), and then his new arm trying to kill him? Dealt with in like 5 seconds. False alarm! Shiro’s totally not gonna die this time! ( ͡ಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠ)

But I think the worst one was at the end when Shiro is giving that speech to the humans with the lions standing behind him not online after we’d just seen them crash land on Earth in a fiery blaze, and honestly??? I thought they were dead.

Goodbye my sweet precious babies, you died protecting Earth and now the fucking Garrison is gonna end up showing those knock-off paladin cadets into the lions and things are gonna be okay again~!

No joke, that’s what I thought.

But then suddenly they’re fine? In a hospital??? Why???? WHAT?!?!?!?

Cue music overture with a montage of everyone’s families and friends coming to say hello to them (instead of explaining wtf happened to all of them) and lots of hugging and oh yeah we forgot about Matt so here’s two frames of him with his weird android girlfriend? thing and long ponytailed head.

Cute, real heartwarmer with Shay suddenly having an entire fucking Balmeran transport her to Hunk. (omg think of how that’s affecting Earth’s gravity atm, the ocean tides r gonna b so screwed over).

Anyways, I did begrudgingly like the new season; but only barely, and I was nowhere near as excited watching this one as I was with previous seasons. There was too much testing my suspension of disbelief, not enough breathers during the last bit, and just overall confusion from all the devastation and chaos caused by Sendak. (Where the hell is Haggar?????)

Overall the story seemed to be trying too hard, and I’m not happy with that. I want Season 8 to smooth over some of this, but I don’t have the highest of hopes. I honestly just want to see my paladin children happy and not fighting a war, and I don’t want to focus on random secondary characters anymore. I want fulfillment, I want the paladins to come to some sense of self satisfaction and growth, regardless of the shipping.

Season 7 took two steps forwards and two steps back with the character development. They progressed Hunk and Sam, but regressed Lance and the others a bit. Coran has officially become the doorstop, with Shiro getting a whole army to command, and random secondary cadets acting like their the lead characters of the show.

I don’t want that. I want the normalcy the show has had up till now. I just want back regular Voltron.

#voltron #vld s7 spoilers #vld s7 review #review #analysis #my thoughts #not my voltron #rambling

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gonewiddershins · 5 years ago

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a bunch of ask memes

as always, thanks to @what-may-be-perceived for indulging my easily bored ass~

pick any fandom you want, i'm curious to hear your choices

8. my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship

I’m not really much of a shipper- friendships usually work just as well or better than romantic relationships. I do like the way this question is phrased, though- since it lets me actually answer the thing.

If most romantic relationships downgraded to just friendship I would just nod sagely and put up that white flag. I usually just latch on the canon ships because I really couldn’t care enough to come up with my own, or fanfic-inspired ships because same. When sexualities sunk my one active PJO ship did I hunker down and hold the fort? No. I started a crossover buddy comedy.

One exception I can think of is Gil and Tarvek from Girl Genius. I have been screeching for those boys to shut their traps and KISS ALREADY since the Si Vales Valeo arc, and I know that canonically they are both very into Agatha but it’s THEM I am romantically invested in and I will be actively disappointed if they don’t become canon.

Another exception is (sigh) Thomas and Justine from The Dresden Files. I DON’T KNOW why I’m so invested in this ship but I am despite the fact that they get BARELY ANY screentime or development and 90% of the ship is in my head. If they do not get a fairly happy ending I’ll probably be very upset.

Female Character I’d Marry; Male Character I’d Marry

None. I take the concept of marriage very seriously and I would prefer to not marry anyone till there has been an actual relationship and cohabitation. There are also no characters I would want to date, tbh. The ones I like are all very high-maintenance and I just wanna be friends with (or admirers of) all the comparatively low maintenance characters.

M: A person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you in to.

Indirectly? Tanoraqui on tumblr, whose posts made me check out girl genius. I’m choosing to assume “fandom” means “at least passively involved in the discourse” rather than “liked the media thingy.”

5. World building: What do you love most about the world the story takes place in? What does the author do to make it so appealing? Do they deal with alternate history, have a unique take on a cliched theme or story element?

Okay so I want to talk about the Temeraire books here because I have seen a lot of books with solid worldbuilding but this- it’s in a league of its’ own. It’s the most in-depth Historical fic AU that I’ve ever seen, especially once it starts to go away from the British Isles. There’s just so much speculation done on how the presence of dragons would impact colonialism and it is… SO GOOD? I started to read these books because of a naval officer and his Large Dragon Son but then the way the dragons were seen and how they influenced various cultures and Laurences’ slow but steady realization that the British Empire is Certifiably Horrible because he can’t ignore the facts in front of his eyes? Excellent!

41. Favorite fluffy tropes?

- Non-threatening sickness fics. Characters have leaking noses or toothaches or chickenpox and is miserable and they in turn irritate the heck out of other characters who love them very much BUT ALSO HONESTLY.

- Idk if this really qualifies as fluff but I LOVE outsider povs where the muggles meet he harried protagonists at the latter stages of their journey and become all like THESE CHILDREN ARE TIRED AND THEY NEED HELP SO I WILL HELP THEM without knowing that said people saved/are saving the world and whatnot.

- Two characters who don’t like each other are forced to get along in domestic setting (festive dinner? Normal dinner? Barbecue?) because their mutual Loved One wants it so. Mutual loved one is aware of the tension but they WILL FORCE THEMSELVES TO SMILE THROUGH THIS OR DIE, GODDAMMIT. Let THESE fuckers feel uncomfortable all the time for a change. Alternatively, it is one of those Important Events like a Wedding.

- Actually pretty much all Outsider PoV fics with any element of “oh that poor soul they look tired” makes me feel mushy. It’s a thing.

- Characters have passionate (but non-serious, because it’s not the fucking end of the world if you disagree on something) arguments about really dumb things. Like who was cheating at Go Fish.

There’s probably more tbh but I can’t think of them rn.

#ask meme

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atomickrakatoa · 7 years ago

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Episode 2 - "I made fake receipts and everything." - Jaiden

Nic

so we win immunity, the heroes are going to tribal and blah blah blah then ian quits and we have a new challenge and jaiden starts acting like.... himself he starts being self destructive and says he wants to go home and tells me he thinks i have the idol which i don’t all i have is a weird rock and idk what it’s for but anyway i’m fine with jaiden going but the thing is that as soon as jaiden goes.. i feel like i’m the next one gone

Nicholas

i feel unsafe with jaiden here

Chips

Bryan

Welll Ian never responded to me anyway so he can goooooo. Also I feel really confident for this challenge. I can do little random tasks probably. But honestly all these people are like “o it’s the hero tribe let’s all be happy and teamwork and good ness” and junk like that. Like no. I’m on the hero tribe cuz I’m a hero to myself. This is survivor and I’m not afraid to cut throats and neither are any of them. I see no need to be fake with this pureness junk.

Akito

Can't wait to lose this challenge like always.

Bryce

Ian going is awk because had kind of being leading on adil dfadskfhdasf but w/e hope we can win this for sure!

Akito

We aren't gonna win this challenge, because there is always gonna be that one tribe member who has the advantage with selfies that are high self-esteemed against others who cant do selfies and has to actually wait for a task that cant do with selfies or the tribe name and all that, unless you want to carry a 16 by 16 large whiteboard with erasable expo marker onto it and try to find the item. Might as well forfeit since we can't win.

Later...

Me leaving that challenge straight away makes me less threatening and I am trying to play UTR pre-merge. I wasn't that active in socializing right now, and there is no flash games so far. If I can keep up this UTR strategy while also working with a few people I can dominate this. I mean leaving the chat either has its moments. Sometimes good things can happen with people leaving, or nothing happens. Whether leaving or not gives me a clue or not at least I can say that I am not a threat at all right now. But the decision to leave was strategic and also helpful since I can't do selfies in time and I know there would be "sacrificial" points and knowing me, I would sacrifice points for advantages or clues to idols. But for me personally I think this was the right move.

Bryce

Oooh this challenge is really looking bad for us I don't think anyone tried other than akito scoring yesterday. But we still got this comeback time!

Later...

Dana and zach are enemies!! Tea drinkers (me) are shaking. I kind of wanted those points but the penalty was vague so i hesitated costing me it yikes hope we win

Jake

Immunity is going swell i love that the hosts werent total dicks and hosted during the night bless their souls but damn bryce has really slayed for heroes (also i happen to know bryce so i hope we both survive to a swap/merge!) Im really loving villians other than jaiden who's probably true to villian nature we actually are nice that said villians tend to backstav n crap as do i so its not like i fully trust these guys! I feel like if we lose that nic or jaiden would be a potential forst boot :o but who knows? Also this is my third confessional so i hafta talk canadian.... These hosers are such a pain in the moose whats that aboot?

Akito

Best Tea: Toph doesn't like our confessions that deal with other things and not game. Point, Blank, and The Period!

Bryce

Im like really tired... But afraid we will lose if I fall asleep. No one is scoring and we're only in it b/c a villain halfed their score. Ppl seem fine going to tribal which is like... scary

Akito

If we lose this challenge. https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/survivor-org/images/2/2c/Tumblr_mi7amhkwCi1qfgnjvo1_250.gif/revision/latest?cb=20140417215133 I am gonna eat this rock. Because that's how I see it now a days.

Bryan

Luke needs to leave before I mentally collapse at frustration of seeing his name. I’m still not over him getting me out from yesterday

Later...

Fuucckkkkkk. I really want to take that advantage so bad. I know that a villain has taken the two earlier advantages. I want it to even the odds if merge comes and they have 2 and we have at least 1. But if the heros find out I took it I’m dead.

Colin

not miss Colin being a messy ass bitch! I want the big advantage, and tbh?? i dont even care if my tribe loses?? like these bitches were making a big deal out of it and wanted to forfeit before the challenge even started, i was the one that insisted we actually compete. This was mostly because i wanted more time to idol search but they dont gotta know that! anyway yeah it's already been said people see me as a more heroic than others on the tribe so I shouldn't worry, I don't think people will immediately thing I took it if I do get it. This tribe is full of messy hoes. any one of them could betray us! Anyway yeah it's time I prove to myself and others i'm truly a villain and I got what it takes to win. If that means giving up a challenge, oh well!! Plus I think I'm close to an idol so there's that. GOD i am anxiety but this is so fun

Christian

Me: was lowkey thinking of taking the personal advantage Logan: [11/21/17, 8:06:05 PM] Logan Bee-Culpepper (Krakatoa Host): At this point, there is a tribe that cannot catch up. [11/21/17, 8:06:13 PM] Logan Bee-Culpepper (Krakatoa Host): Results coming soon! lol I hope no one from our tribe took it then. Because if someone did I'll be shocked, just by looking at the people from my tribe. Hopefully a villain did, so we automatically win. Oh and BTW Quillyn and I formed an alliance. We agreed to work together. And Kelsey came to me a few nights ago wanting to be the Oliver to my Connor (how to get away with murder reference; we both bonded over our love for the show).

Senja wins Immunity

Nicholas

i want to make this game fun but the fact that dana/zach migrated to a colony located in jaiden’s rectum makes that very hard im just annoyed because they told me they would vote him out but i know they are going to pull some quirky shit and keep him around and im just annoyed. it makes me not want to put any effort in just yet because being in a game with jaiden is like willingly shoving a whisk in ur eye and scrambling ur brain up

Nic

these people are UGLY where is my mutiny option

Akito

I would of taken that advantage and blame it on adil. Because he was the last target and if I get Jay on board with me we would be the best friends to make it to end. I feel sort of indirectly connected somehow.... Like you know? But I hope we make it through.

Nic

coming into this game, trixie/zach/dana/nicholas are obviously a group. however, ive been talking to nicholas and he feels on the bottom and isn't necessarily loyal to them which i LOVE. he wants jaiden gone and tbh.. so do i the problem is zach and dana dont want him out and wanna vote out liana and jake, thats stupid tho cause theyre not threats and theyre outsiders. plus if we pull in liana, we get chris. so im gonna work with nicholas and come up with a plan so that we get what we want because whover stole that damn advantage is gonna pay

Jake

that immunity completely destroyed me, like i can understand players are in it to win, but seriously taking an L for what could be something minor? yes its a tribe of villains i should have expected this, but urgh >.> im peeved, not because im unsafe but because someone is overplaying, i dont care what it takes im gonna hunt this ass down and target them till they leave

Adil

Am happy that we won the second immunity. I think it has given the tribe a small moral boost which could help us get into this game to win

Kelsey

Well hello! My name is Kelsey Mikaelson, hailing from the Koh Sai state and I didn't die; I have crystallized and now I'm a Glamazon ready for the runway~! I can not tell you, being back here means...the WORLD to me. The premise of this season of Heroes vs Villains and the judges got it right, I am a heroine. But this season for me is about redemption. In Koh Sai, I really felt like a contender, I felt like I could win. Leaving was really tragic for me and this time around, I'm considering this my redemption. I realllllly want to do well, like, I can not TELL you how badly I want to finish what I started in Koh Sai. SO when we lost the first immunity challenge, my LIFE flashed before my eyes. And when I went a whole day without logging on to Skype, #ThatPart, I remember just mentally kicking myself the rest of the day and if it had been me that was eliminated...first? ...I don't even want to go there. I know that if it had been up to us to choose who leaves, Adil's name is the only I've heard. However, I don't want to see Adil leave early in the competition as he lives across the world and I'm usually alive quite late so we can chat about life and things like that. As for the rest of the tribe, I'm happy to see most of them. I quite wish there were less people from my season around...I love them but I don't feel like they're looking out for me, you know? I think the people that I'm meeting for the first time are all more invested in getting to know me. You know what it is, I think the people from my season automatically assume I'm with them. Quill herself asked me who I wanted to vote out for the last tribal and said she'd talk to me later. It's been three days and...where she at? NOT with me, I can tell you that much. The good news is that most everyone has got a niche with me however, something we've bonded over. Jay and I both love Kelly Clarkson, Bryce, Chips and I love RPDR, Christian and I are Connor and Oliver...so I don't feel unsocial which some people say I am. WHAT-ever. I think this immunity is really handy and I definitely appreciate it. I just...I reeeealllly want to do well. In just ONE of these, I want to just do well! And I've never felt closer to snatching the crown than in Koh Sai. So you know what? I deserve to snatch it again! Whatever happens from here on in, I'll make sure to be here for it; I don't want to give it up! So look out for me kittens, I have the mark of a WINNAH! And THAT'S all there is to it! Francie, Jay, Ali Bee; cheers as well! -Kelsey V Mikaelson

Colin

I LOVE BEING A MESS. Like the advantage wasn't SUPER amazing but tbh???? it's worth it. Sure, we have to go to tribal, but tribal is fun and tbh? I already have three or four people wanting to work with me so I don't think I'm in any danger tonight. and if I survive tonight, I'm guaranteed at LEAST one more week. I don't think anyone suspects I took the advantage so I'm safe for now. We'll see how tonight plays out!

Trixie

hi im trixie and i want to find that dang idol.

QuilLynn

So we won immunity wooo! my losing curse is over! Of course we only won, because the villains are villains and someone on that tribe gave us the win for an advantage lol. If I had to guess who took it I would say either zach or trixie lol. I'm just happy I don't have to worry about tribal again! Although I will say our last target, Adil, has been talking a lot more and being more active, which is great, because the reason he was being targeted was because people thought he was semi-inactive. My issue is that its kinda fishy that he's suddenly active, like maybe its just a coincidence, but I can't help but be paranoid and believe that someone warned him that he was the target and that his lack of vocalness was the reason why, and if that is the case then my name could have very well been thrown under the bus. I'm really sad to see that Ian quit the game too, I hope he's doing alright and I wish him the best. I also think I was on the right path to finding the idol, but now I'm curious. I placed a rock into a formation of other stones and something happened, but I don't know what I changed, or where the change took place. I'm thinking my best bet is to retry where I last searched and hopefully something is there. If not its back to square one.

Jaiden

its really not a game with me if im not causing chaos. i dont really have a lot of will to live in this game so im just doing what i have to do in order to make sure i either go home for being messy as fuck, or i get someone completely innocent voted out. so im picking colin as a perfect target. :) i just feel like colin was the most likely person to take an advantage to possibly screw our game up and if he happens to have an idol, then he can idol me out and i die a happy person. i also kinda want to see how logan reacts when i blatantly target one of his friends and see how quickly i get rigged out LOL theres a group chat i have with nicholas, trixie, dana, zach, and myself and honestly i wanna stay loyal to those people even if it means they end up taking me out because i think it was dumb to cast a friend group in the first place, so why not make it look even worse and help them all win? it'll be a funny outcome. i dont have any faith in myself as a player anymore because even when i do the best i can, it still isn't enough and i end up failing. so yeah there's that. also i cant wait for this confessional to end up in some of ur friends' pms, whoever may be reading this in the google doc. i know how much some of you like to talk mad shit about me so ya !!

Later...

so im messy and knowing that frickin,, colin gave an idol away, im going to pretend that I GOT AN IDOL but oh no not just ANY idol a SUPER idol :) [1:17:02 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): You feel a hand slip into your bag… There is a noticeable lump left in its place when the hand is retracted. [1:17:14 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): You dig inside and pull out a small package wrapped in parchment. You untie the thin rope and reveal see a small note. It reads, “Congratulations. Someone from the other tribe has elected to gift you the power of safety. You are now in possession of the SUPER IDOL.” [1:17:28 PM] jAIDEN: WHAT [1:17:31 PM] jAIDEN: THE FUCK [1:17:56 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): However, with great power comes great responsibility. You must play this super idol at tonight’s tribal council, or else it will not contain any power. You may play it on anyone on this tribe and it will cancel all of the votes cast against them. [1:18:07 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): The person who has given it to you will not be revealed, it is up to them to determine whether or not they share that information on a later date. [1:18:54 PM] jAIDEN: umm what [1:19:39 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): Submit a confessional! [1:19:41 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSesZ4zMUXURc-fZrS5ne2qdot6i6w6LIYN8CvqsQr-iiu0gvQ/viewform [1:20:23 PM] jAIDEN: THIS IS TEW MUCH LMAO FIOUHDOJ i made fake receipts and everything.

Willa

Whoever took that advantage - your mom's a hoe!

Zach

I don't know. I'm aligned with a lot of people, practically everyone except i'm really not. I'm probably going home anyway cause i'm inactive and I want to die because I hate every game I play and people are bullshit and the other game I am in stresses me out. I'm sincerely apologetic about my behaviour and actions and inactivity, i'm just dealing with a lot of bullshit and wig. If I somehow do stay, i'll be more active, I promise.

Later...

Time to be the captain, and turn this ship around and sail it right up Jaiden's asshole and send his little minion packing. ADIOS colin aka i'm leaving tonight catch me on the flipside xx

Colin

GOD so much has happened. So, first things first, I FOUND AN IDOL BITCH YAS. But it was a senja idol. so I put in all that work for someone else's idol. Smh. Anyway I'm not close to anyone on that tribe so I decided to random.org who I gave it to, so hopefully Bryan is nice and would be willing to work with me! AND moving onto tonight's vote. It seems like Jaiden is the easy vote. Cool. It's not me. It's easy. Let's move on. I'm talking to jaiden anyway just in case something happens we have a strong social connection anyway. THEN he and Nicholas tell me he has a super idol. tbh??? if it's true thats iconic as fuck. and I'm here for it. Jaiden is a huge target and I think I might be able to trust him if he stays. We'll see! Either way this tribal is gonna be way messier than what everyone is leading on. I have no idea whats gonna happen

Nicholas

if jaiden actually has a super idol i am literally going to hunt down all of the hosts and slap you across the face with my laptop

Bryan

Ok so a little update on stuff. I’m starting to really like Kelsey. She’s very nice and she cheered me up on a bad day a couple days ago so I’m grateful to her for that. Also I GOT AN IDOL FROM SOMEONE ON THE OTHER TRIBE!!! I wonder who it was? Maybe it was Zach? I mean he was getting those tasks pretty fast so if this was from the last challenge he might’ve gotten it. Anyways, I’m so happy to have an idol! It makes me feel so much safer.

Willa

So first of all I was like wow how is Jaiden actually not getting voted off strategic legend bye Colin But now appatnelty even that's too easy!! So we have to vote Jake which is sad cus he's cute n nice Also I literally think everyone in this chat (Zach Dana Nicholas n Trixie) were planning on using me as the decoy vote originally but then decided to use me as a vote against the new n improved decoy Jake. Which is fine if true and if not then I'm a paranoid mess as usual. Hopefully me and my faves survive!!!

Akito

I have no hero instinct....

Nic

so a bunch of shit is happening. jaiden makes an alliance with zach/trixie/dana/nicholas he tells zach that colin and i are voting for zach which is a lie and he tells people he has a super idol. now.. if there was a super idol twist like in survivor HHH, wouldnt it have been given away on round 1? plus if he had it, why would he be going through so much trouble and scrambling? that plus all the other lies he's been spreading around just does NOT add up. ik colin and liana are voting him and i think nicholas and i might as well. i heard jaiden, dana, trixie, and zach are splitting on colin and willa or whomevver sooo Id make this longer but my keyboard is fucking up

Zach

There is so much drama and i'm not even sure what to think... I'm so sorry about lacking confessionals, and if i stay wig

Colin

hi. this is my third confessional today if thats any indication of how FUCKED this tribe is. I'm not good at this villain thing. I'm doing my best. But it sounds like tonight's vote is between me and Jaiden. Jaiden is being a fucking snake and lying to everyone and i'm OVER it. everyone knows I have the advantage now so oh well. Jaiden says he has a super idol but do we REALLY know??? Whatever this is gonna be fun tbh

Dana

WIG so i've had a dramatique day and i'm in a terrible mood, but like everyone is lying(tm) to me. I literally thought about voting out.. everyone on my tribe except Liana, Trixie, and Zach. Umm so I still don't know who i'm voting. Maybe Jake? Who knows ladies!

Bryce

I am so happy we won immunity btw Like so glad they took the advantage and went to tribal although i did score most of the points so i think id be safe? still not in any alliances tho so scary. plus idol searching is hard. I hope there is drama with their tribe because i live for messiness!!!

Jay

I honestly have no idea whats going on in this game, quillynn is pretty much my only ally so i hope this works out

Trixie

first tribal ends in a tie? wig. jaiden causing chaos lying he has a super idol? wig. colin admitting to me he took the advantage and caused this whole mess in the first place? BALD

Chips

Alright friends, so a lot has happened. But first I have to say... Call me, beep me, if ya wanna reach me. http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hair_flip10.jpg --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alright so here's the breakdown of what I have missed telling about. First off - I was cast on the Heroes tribe because of some things heroic that I have done. Like taking the bullet for other people and giving certain people their first wins in Tumblr Survivor games. You know - instead of winning. https://media1.tenor.com/images/4db0f31d688a839a175ba7eec8441f67/tenor.gif --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joining me on my tribe are... Adil, Akito, Bryan, Bryce, Christian, Jay, Kelsey, QuilLynn, and Ian. That's a lot of people. Like... a lot for one tribe. http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11114/111144096/4096385-8940408663-tumbl.gif So, truth be told I don't know who to reach out to first so I start messaging everyone Hi and get pretty basic answers in the form of "hi" back. So you know, I'm an award-winning conversationalist. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Following this, a trend has started to form that includes me not being online when anything is posted in this game. Lowkey I feel like it puts me at a disadvantage and also working the hours that I work at night does the same - so I'm excited for that to fire back and hit me in the face. https://m.popkey.co/a00e06/X1DzG.gif We had to make buffs which is something I've done on my own time but also didn't want to make time to do because I'm super lazy and that's just a trait that I'm trying to embrace. The more slothful I can be the happier I will be. As a side note and one that I feel is important to make Logan finally listened to me about how these sort of creative challenges should be used as reward challenges. It's just the rules of feminism. http://cdn.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/lacey-chabert-as-gretchen-wieners-in-mean-girls-crying.gif There is suggestion about certain drag queens going on our buffs because why not? You know, drag queens deserve to be on buffs because they should get more attention. QuilLynn takes over making the buffs and does a fabulous rendition of Sharon Needles and Phi Phi - in my eyes it's award winning. Two thumbs (or three if you have three hands) up! https://78.media.tumblr.com/85addcf64d03f9643a9634375c59edb4/tumblr_inline_nu8f77qVTs1qkv30z_500.gif Then of course the judges don't have an eye for talent so they give the win to the boring and ugly buffs made by the other tribe. Ooo swirls! Ooo moons! Ooo so inspired. Yawn! So they get an advantage in the upcoming dealy thing (immunity challenge). --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next challenge is... SELFIE SCAVENGER HUNT!! And the crowd goes wild. Or at least I do. Honestly it's my favorite thing - I love the excuse to go out into public and freak out random strangers by posing with pictures of random fruits and vegetables, toys, their cars, etc. https://m.popkey.co/f7996f/7z9qk.gif But then of course I have to work all day Saturday and also have stuff to do all day Sunday. So.. I look at the time the thing is due (or at least at this point in time I thought I did... haha I'm dumb) and realize I have a small window to throw things together and perform, etc. I'm super pumped for this challenge because it's my favorite and then I see in the tribe chat thing that we only have less than hour left to go! I'm like... WHAT?! Did I get sucked into some weird time loop and suddenly miss out on a whole hour? Did I do something wrong? So I ask.. and it turns out I should maybe look into going to the optometrist to prescribe me some reading glasses. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/66/2e/46/662e46f6697d55a4435d9c9082983508.gif Our tribe loses the challenge and I take it pretty hard personally because I can easily become one of those self-defeatist types. I realize that it is in large part my fault because I make a habit out of filling out the list of stuffs with pictures that others can't just by being creative or crafty or whatever in my community... and I dropped the ball. Soooo of course I am aware that I will probably be getting the boot and decide to search for the idol, but I'm a #mood or however I'm going to qualify it.. perhaps #funk is better. Hm... and so I decide to not take the hosts options seriously and get myself stranded without climbing equipment ( though arguably I would try climbing and probably break my neck if this weren't in a world with preexisting and written prompts). https://s-i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/279239/slide_279239_2071948_free.gif Then I talk to some of my tribemates about the vote and apologize for being utterly and completely useless. They tell me that it's not big deal and that our tribe actually has a number of people who are existing as dead weight. This makes me feel better about myself because at least they're willing to lie to me about me having more value than others if it's not true. And so they want to target Adil? I think that's his name. Anyway, I'm cool with it because he should be first boot anyway since he chose Ryan from the current season of Survivor as his avatar and that's a huge misstep in someone that I may have or could have ended up allying with. But then, nope! No tribal council! Ian's making the most of his life and withdrew from the game because he didn't want it to take a toll on himself in a negative fashion. I am proud of his decision as this game will likely drive me insane if we have to go back to more tribals. https://media.giphy.com/media/F2WFyAfpfVfFe/giphy.gif --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Immunity two is the one that makes me go into convulsions. The one that keeps me awake at night thinking about what I could have done differently. The one that brings me to tears... it's the one where you have to complete tasks in order to earn points and the tribe with the most earned points gets freedom from tribal council. I know the trick to this challenge! I know that you just don't do anything and let the other tribe waste their time. Honestly, let them suffer. Let them be the one stupid enough to stay up super late and write thousands of words for the sole purpose of stroking the host's massive egos (genitals???). https://media.tenor.com/images/d5a01b967936e2b961e1a0130d2b4650/tenor.gif Because that last task is going to be the one that sweeps all the points off the table and ultimately screws the tribe over! And then of course that happened to those over at the villain tribe... and so they have tribal council and our tribe lives another day!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In summation, I'm still a useless lump of clay to be molded by my fellow players on the hero tribe. I have no alliances. I have no one I trust or am voting with. And I'm not even sure if I was being fed a line of bull poo in the last round about whether they were going to bump me off. I'm hoping to see nicer things (or challenges I can do better??? hahaha like that's a thing) soon! https://media.giphy.com/media/111ebonMs90YLu/200.gif

**Jaiden is voted out in a re-vote, and round 3 begins!**

#confessionals #zerotohero

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