#sorry but i need peepaw BAD

[stellamarielu]

handsy

joel miller x female reader

summary: joel is hopelessly touch starved and you just can't seem to keep your hands to yourself.

content: nsfw, 18+, age gap, cursing, mutual pining, mentions of male masturbation, hand job, fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk, good girl, breeding kink [if you squint]

author's note: guys i’m sorry I know this isn't my usual aidan turner brainrot, but i’m rewatching tlou and i needed to write some joel miller smut. i mean, aren't we all horny for that old man?

—

To put it quite plainly, Joel was touch starved. 

It had been a long time since he’d felt the hands of a woman on his body. Of course, given the current state of the world, he didn’t have much time to think about it.

But then he was all settled down in Jackson and his days were filled with mundane jobs, casual conversations, cozy living conditions, and you. 

You lived in the little house across the street from him and although your relationship began with awkward smiles and shy waves, Joel found himself getting closer to you over time. 

Now he was lingering on your front porch after you offered him coffee in the mornings and walking you into town when he had absolutely no business there, all to spend a little extra time with you.

From the beginning Joel somehow found himself not entirely annoyed by your persistence in breaking down his walls, and instead indulged in your constant questions and continuous attempts at bad jokes. Maybe it was because he felt bad ignoring your endless efforts to strike up friendly conversation; or perhaps he enjoyed your company because he was lonely, and you were an undeniably gorgeous young woman seeking out his attention. Even he was confused as to why someone like you would be putting so much energy into getting to know him. You were probably lonely too, Joel convinced himself that your friendly advances must’ve come from a place of hunger for basic human interaction. 

He would’ve had no issue fulfilling your need for friendship and community if it weren’t for how handsy you were. Of course, Joel knew your touch was never sexual. It always came from a place of innocence, just a welcoming nudge on the shoulder or a casual hand grazing his bicep. You were just someone who showed your appreciation through simple acts of physical touch, but to Joel those little gestures might as well have been you dropping to your knees in front of him. 

In fact, those thoughtless touches frequently made their way into Joel’s mind late at night when he couldn’t sleep.

He would think about the way your hands felt on his body; how soft and gentle they were. He would think about the way they brushed against his arms or his back, imagining what they’d feel like on his bare skin. He would fight against his own morality as his hand slipped into his pants touching himself at the thought of you. His fingers wrapping around his dick, holding back moans as he pictured it was your tender grip on him instead. 

He was disgusting

That’s what he told himself now, standing in your kitchen with your delicate little hand caressing his forearm as you laughed about something he said that most certainly wasn’t that funny.

You had convinced him to come over for dinner, and who was he to deny a warm meal? But now you were inches away from him at the kitchen sink after you had argued over who would do the dishes. Both of you working together to wash up, and Joel couldn’t keep himself from thinking about the warmth of your body and how soft it felt against his. 

It was all so domestic. You washing the plates then handing them over to him so he could dry and put them away. You were talking and laughing with full bellies and smiles on your faces. It was impossible not to soak in the simplicities of moments like this. And it was definitely impossible to ignore the way his skin was burning under your touch.

You knew you had a way of getting in other people’s personal space; touching others as you spoke to them. It was something you had always done, extending a hand in an effort to show you were listening or engaged. It was just a way of showing your appreciation and attention. Only, it was more than that when it came to Joel. Your relationship with him was strictly platonic, which was a real shame because you desperately wanted to touch him in more inappropriate ways.

You knew it was bad to think about him like that. He was a friend, yet you were constantly picturing what it would feel like to kiss him– to have your hands on him.

In an effort to fulfill these little fantasies, you were always finding ways to touch Joel. Obviously, it was only ever friendly, just softly grabbing his arm when you needed his attention or leaning your body into his when you walked side by side; such small moments of feeling the weight of his body beneath your hands, but it only ever made your secret obsession with him more intense. 

Like right now, your fingers were curling into his forearm as you laughed and you knew you needed to pull your hand away before you trailed it all the way up his arm tracing every inch of muscle as you went. Joel was just so big, and strong, and rough– it drove you fucking insane. You had never felt like this before, so pent up with sexual frustration for someone. It was almost embarrassing how badly you wanted Joel to bend you over the kitchen counter and have his way with you. 

You were ready to loosen your grip on his arm and pull away when you felt something coarse underneath your fingertips.

A scar. One of the many that littered his body.

You had noticed them before, but you had never felt them. Joel was wearing a short-sleeve shirt tonight, something he rarely did. He was always clad in long sleeves or jackets, which made you realize this was the first time you had ever touched the bare skin of his arm. 

Your hand lingered on his forearm and your eyes were fixed on the scar underneath your fingers, and Joel just watched. He watched the way you stared as you felt his skin. And then you were moving your fingertips against him, tracing the mark there, and he had to keep himself from shuddering under your touch.

“There are so many.” Your voice was hushed as you studied him, looking at the scars painted all over his skin.

“Yeah well…” He was trailing off with each stroke of your finger against him, losing his train of thought.

“I’m sorry.” 

The simple apology was all you said, but when your eyes met his, he could see the sympathy swimming in your gaze. You understood. That was one thing Joel appreciated about you more than anything– you understood each other. You respected his boundaries, never pushing him on the things he wasn’t willing to talk about.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.” 

His smile was back, so gentle and kind as he looked down at you.

“Can I have my arm back now?” His voice was playful, and you realized you were still holding onto his forearm.

“Oh god, sorry.”

You let go abruptly.

“Sorry, I’m not the best at keeping my hands to myself.” You were joking about your bad habit of touching others too much. 

“I’ve noticed.”

Joel was going back to work, drying a dish and putting it away in an overhead cabinet, avoiding your stare. 

“Oh shit Joel. Sorry does it bother you? I’ll be more mindful from now on.” 

Oh, you were humiliated. All this time Joel was annoyed by your friendly affection and you were just constantly touching him.

“No. no, doesn’t bother me. Just-“ He was speaking as he continued doing dishes, still avoiding eye contact with you.

“Just what?” You were prying, but you didn’t care. That’s how things often went with you and Joel– you asking too many questions and him putting up with it. 

“Nothin’. Just doesn’t bother me that’s all. Don’t worry about it.” 

He was sidestepping the conversation entirely now. But if it didn’t bother him, then what? 

“Joel c’mon what were you gonna say?” 

You were reaching for him again, this time grabbing his bicep. The feeling of his thick, muscular arm in your grasp nearly had your breath hitching in your throat. 

He stopped what he was doing, giving in to your touch and turning to face you completely. His eyes were peering down on you, his expression unreadable. 

“Just distracting. That’s what I was gonna say. Distracting.” He was just staring as he spoke, his voice stoic.

Distracting? Joel was distracted by your touch? 

“But not… in a bad way?” You had to clarify before your mind started going down a rabbit trail.

“No. Not in a bad way.” 

You felt a fluttering sensation fill your chest at his confession.

Was Joel saying he liked when you touched him? That he liked it so much it made him lose focus? There was sudden surge of confidence bursting through you as you ran your hand further up his arm. You found the hem of his sleeve, toying with it between your fingertips.

“How do I distract you?”

Doing your best to make your voice sound innocent you stared at the material of his shirt in your hands, too nervous to actually look him in the eyes. 

“Just don’t know how you’re always so kind and sweet. Your hands are so gentle.” He was speaking quietly.

You allowed your eyes to find his after he complimented you, but you wished you hadn’t.

His gaze was fixed on you, searching your face in a desperate attempt to read the situation. You were inches away from each other, your bodies nearly pressed against one another with your hand still on his arm. 

“Do you think about me in a way friends shouldn’t think about each other?”

The question was trickling from your lips and into the silent room. You were testing the waters, dipping a toe in the potential pool of shared desire. 

“Because I do. I think about you all of the time.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you looked up at Joel. 

“What it’d be like to kiss you, to feel your hands all over my body.”

You let your touch travel up to his shoulder and over to explore the broad expanse of his clothed chest underneath your fingertips. 

“We shouldn’t.” His words were hesitant but his body didn’t move in the slightest.  

“Why not?”

Joel could think of a million reasons why not. Starting with you being half his age and ending with the fact that sex could ruin the perfectly good relationship that had taken months to form between you.

But as he looked down at you, your lips all pouted and your eyes full of hope, he threw all caution to the wind.

Fuck it.

He placed both of his hands on either side of your face, bringing his head down and crashing his lips into yours.

His kiss was hungry and rushed but still somehow tender. Your mind was reeling at the taste of his mouth against yours. Your hands found solace at the nape of his neck, arms slinging up to rest on his shoulders as the kiss deepened.

Your kitchen suddenly felt so hot as the sweltering tension between you and Joel had finally reached it’s peak. 

“Fuck sweetheart if you only knew half the things I thought about you.” His voice was breathless as he broke your kiss.

Joel’s mouth trailed down your jaw placing impatient kisses on your skin. 

“Tell me.” You were practically begging as you moaned at the feeling of his warm lips on your neck.

“Think about those sweet little hands of yours on me.” 

He was nipping and sucking behind your ear. You weren’t sure if it was the way his mouth was caressing your skin or the words he was speaking between kisses, but it had a whine slipping from your lips. 

“Where Joel?” The words were a whimper coming deep within your throat as he continued his assault on your neck. 

“Jesus Christ sweetheart you’re gonna kill me.” He was muttering into the curve of your shoulder and the hum of his words against you had you losing your mind. 

“Do you think about them here?” Gaining just an ounce of composure, your voice was calm and collected as you slid your hands down his torso. 

You were careful to feel every little detail of his body as you let your touch wander lower. The tense muscles of his abdomen were hard to ignore as your hands found the button of his jeans. 

“All the time sweetheart.” He was admitting to his dirty thoughts. Bringing his hands to thread through your hair and pulling your gaze to meet his so you could see the seriousness in his eyes as he spoke. 

“Think about how soft they’d feel wrapped around me.”

Oh. It was prevalent now more than ever that Joel had entered an entirely new headspace. The way he was talking to you, the way he was looking at you; It was all fueled by complete and utter sexual desire, and you couldn’t get enough. You wanted to hear more filthy words come out of his mouth, you needed it. 

“Joel..” You were all but moaning out as you unzipped his pants, eager to get your hands on him.

He was pulling you in for another hungry kiss as you shoved his jeans down just enough to get your hands into the waistband of his underwear. Here you were in the middle of your kitchen with your hands down Joel’s pants– something you didn’t foresee happening when you invited him over earlier that day. But the two of you were so fucking pathetic and needy, having finally given into your feelings for one another. There was no time to waste, you needed to feel every single inch of him right here next to your kitchen sink.

The groan that left his lips when you finally had his cock enveloped in your gentle touch was enough to send a rush through your entire body. You pumped him up and down making sure to maintain a slow pace to purposefully draw another sinful noise from his mouth.

Just as you thought, your mild movements had the man in front of you sighing out in pleasure. It was a sigh of true relief; you wondered about the last time Joel had been with someone like this. The thought spurred you on, making your hand move faster from the excitement of being the first person in a long time to make him feel this way.

Joel’s jaw tensed and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head when your eyes flickered down to his dick. You were watching your own hand as it worked to bring him closer to completion. He wasn’t accustomed to this– having a pretty young thing handling him like this. There was no way he was gonna last long, not with your delicate hands sliding on his cock and your innocent gaze peering down between your bodies. 

In seconds his hand was on your wrist halting your movements. 

“Joel-“

You were ready to protest but your words were caught in your throat as he lifted you onto the kitchen counter. His lips were back on yours in a messy kiss while his hands fumbled with your jeans, practically ripping them from your body. 

“Need to feel ya darlin’.” He was panting out against you when his hand came in contact with your core, the thin material of your panties stopping him from touching your bare center. 

You didn’t have to feel them to know how wet your panties were. They were drenched the second your hand was on Joel’s arm earlier. All you had to do was think about the man and a pool of arousal would appear between your legs.

“Fuck you’re soaked.”

The words were laced with pride as he felt the ruined cloth with his fingertips. You wanted to moan at the feeling of his hand putting even the tiniest bit of pressure against that needy spot between your legs. You wanted some sort of relief– needed to feel him touch you.

As if he could read your mind, Joel was pushing your panties to the side and gliding a finger over the wetness pooling at your opening.

“If I knew you were this needy for me, would have done this a long time ago.”

As the words left his lips he was slipping a single finger into you at an agonizing pace. Slowly moving it in and out while you gripped at his arms for some sort of stability.

Fuck– even just the one finger moving in and out of you insanely slow was enough to have you seeing stars. So when he added a second you nearly dug your nails into Joel’s arm hard enough to leave marks.

His fingers were working into you, each stroke more mind numbing than the last. He was pushing and curling them and the little noises leaving your mouth were absolutely pathetic.

“Your little whimpers are so pretty baby.” 

Baby. All these endearing pet names he was calling you had you falling apart. You were preening underneath Joel’s touch and every time he called you sweetheart, or darlin, or baby, you were further subdued into a state of surrender for him. 

“So pretty’n sweet just for me.” He was mumbling with his fingers knuckles deep inside you.

You could feel the pressure building in your core with each deliberate movement of his fingers. Your gaze found his and the look of need consuming him pushed you closer to the edge. Your eyes were locked on one another, your forehead pressed against his as you gripped his arms tighter. 

“C’mon sweet girl, let me hear it.” Joel’s words were a low growl as he coaxed your orgasm from you.

“Wanna hear the pretty little sounds you make when you come undone.” 

His whisper was the final blow that had you spiraling toward release. You were chanting his name as you clenched around his fingers.

Your chest was heaving, and you could hardly think straight but you didn’t hesitate to pull Joel closer to you.

He was standing between your legs as you sat on your kitchen counter, your chests almost touching and his hard cock inches away from meeting your entrance. 

“Joel please.” You were out of breath and nearly speechless, still shaking from your climax, but you needed the satisfaction of Joel filling you. You wanted more than his fingers.

In an instant, he was lining himself up with you and pushing his tip in just enough to make you groan in pleasure. Hearing you beg for him like that– his name dripping from your sweet lips, Jesus he’d do anything you asked. 

You were moaning out satisfied little hums with each inch of him that filled you. He was pushing into you slowly savoring every pulse of your walls around his cock.

“So tight sweetheart.” His voice was low as he watched between your bodies. His eyes were staring at your sweet little cunt as you sucked him in deeper and deeper, so needy to be filled– so greedy for him.

You could only moan in response. The feeling of him stretching you out had the coil in your abdomen already tightening again.

He was pushing into you to the hilt and you instinctively grabbed at his shoulders, gripping and pulling at him in pleasure. You just needed to feel more of him– all of him. Your hands ached to feel every square inch of his body.

With your fingers splayed out on his back, Joel pulled out only to thrust back into you fully. Doing this over and over again until you were nearly screaming out underneath him. He could feel your fingertips digging into his shoulder blades which only made him drive into you deeper.

He was thrusting and you were a moaning, writhing mess against him, your bodies meshing together on the tile of your kitchen counter. The lewd sounds of whimpers and skin slapping filled the room and all you could think about is how close you were to coming apart again. Your legs clenched around Joel’s waist as your core strained.

Without warning, he brought his hand between you, letting his thumb fall to your clit. He was rubbing lazy circles into your bundle of nerves while his dick repeatedly hit the perfect spot inside you and your body nearly went limp.

“Got another one for me?” His words were broken by grunts.

“Wanna feel you squeeze around me while you cum sweet girl.”

His dirty words were going to shove you right over the edge. With each word he spoke, you pushed yourself closer to the finish line wanting nothing more than to please him.

You felt your body begin to shudder and your second orgasm of the night set in.

“Atta girl. There she is. Good girl.”

That was it. The words of encouragement you needed to completely let go. You were whimpering and gripping onto Joel as your release rushed over you.

The way you were clenching and squeezing around his cock made Joel’s head spin. You were nearly pushing him out, it was so tight and warm and Fuck- he was losing it.

You were barely tethered to earth as he continued sliding in and out of you. His pace was ruthless as he chased his own high. He was fucking you straight through your orgasm, the feeling of it too much for the both of you.

His hands were pawing at your waist, holding onto you as he thrusted relentlessly. The breathy moans and inaudible profanities coming from his mouth signaled his impending release.

You were pulling him in closer with your hands on his back, pushing him into you deeper.

“I want you to cum inside.” You were whining out.

You weren’t sure how you were even forming coherent sentences at this point but the only thing more important than regaining your sanity was the idea of Joel spilling into you when he finished.

“Please Joel, wanna feel it.”

There you were begging for him again. He had absolutely no self control when you spoke to him like that. And when he pulled back to get a good look at you, he almost lost himself entirely. Your gaze was glossed over and your eyelids heavy, you were completely fucked-out on his cock. It was enough to finish him off.

The look in your eyes and the feeling of your walls so tight and inviting around him, had Joel coming undone. He was leaning forward and burying his face in the crook of your neck as he let out a long drawn out moan.

His load was shooting into you all wet and warm. It was coating your insides and making you hold on tighter to the man doubled over on top of you.

You sat there, your bodies molding together, breath catching and hearts beating. Both of you in shock over how you ended up in this position after a harmless meal shared at your kitchen table.

“So…” You were still breathless as you spoke, trying to gage how Joel was feeling about your current situation.

“Should probably finish those dishes huh?”

He was picking his head up from the comfort of your shoulder and tilting his neck to motion over to the sink next to you.

He was wearing the goofiest smile all sex drunk and proud.

If Joel’s expression told you anything; that wouldn’t be the last time the two of you end up fucking on your kitchen counter.

my masterlist

[intotheelliwoods]

They are on a mission :) Should note: this takes place about 3ish days after the invasion! They have just gone far enough out to reach places that were not effected by the Kraang!

Also no Leo does not have the prosthetic on- he just stuffed the sleeve there with shirts

This is part 1! Part 2 can be found here~

Context, and more comics can be found on my blog!

[the-acid-pear]

Fucking peepaw Crown but shaking my head the whole time so people know I don't agree with the United States of America presidency and the influence of it on the rest of the globe

[volfoss]

personally the renfri ciri (late in the books) parallels are gonna make me insane

[sonicfanthenightfury5099]

Hello hello!

If it’s not too much to ask, may I please request some fluff/comfort reactions with Thomas, RZ Michael, bubba and whoever else you wanna add?

It would be about the reader going Into their room and ask the boys if they can spend the night with them because they experience real bad panic attacks at night. It sometimes get so bad that the reader fears that they will lose oxygen as they panic. (As someone who experience those regularly, it’s terrifying, so having our favourite big boy’s comfort would be great)

That’s pretty much it! :) hope this is okay❤️ thank you so much if you do get to this request, I love your writing so much!

As someone who also had panic attacks in High School I can see some of the boys spending the night with Reader.

Sorry this took so long to write this, I tried to figure out what write. I juggle alot in my head example I'm currently working on a rough draft of my future Webcomic

Enjoy this

Slashers Spending the night with You

Summary: You ask your boyfriend to send the night so they don't go through a really bad panic attack during the night.

Characters: Michael Myers (OG, RZ, and Peepaw), Jason Voorhees, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Saywer, Brahms Heelshire, and The Sinclairs Brothers

CW: Cuteness from the boys

Michael Myers RZ

When you ask him if he can stay home for the night, he gave you one his head tilts

He would usually go out and you stay home, but trying to sleep is hard

You tell him you get really bad Panic attacks at night, which have you scared of not be able to breathe

Alright I'll stay for the night

He seeing people having Panic attacks at Smith's Grove, especially one passing out from a attack

Wrapped in blanket and something warm to drink

A old monster movie playing on the TV as he puts his arm around your waist

Thomas Hewitt

Automatic Mama bear mode when you tell him you get really bad Panic attacks at night and have a fear of losing Oxygen as they panic

You can hold on to him like a teddy bear

Back rubs

You'll be falling asleep with him holding you close

Vincent Sinclair

Like Thomas, Mama Bear mode active

Warm blankets wrapped around the both of you in his bedroom

Candles lit to make it comfortable for you

Bo better not cause you to have an Attack

Brahms Heelshire

Before he showed himself has seen you have attacks at night (Brahms being Brahms) holding on to the doll

He eventually showed himself when you have a really bad episode

One extremely confused about a guy just came into your room, and Two who is he? Is it Brahms? You where told he died a long time ago

"Brahms?" You asked, he nodding as his reply

"Could you stay with me tonight? I need some comfort." You ask. "Yes." He replied in his child voice

He's holding on till the sun comes up

Michael Myers OG

Much like RZ Michael, your going to get one of his famous head tilts

Michael would just leave you home and when he gets back your still awake waiting for him

So that's why you stay up waiting for me, when you explain him about your Panic attacks at night

Guess he'll wait another night to hunt

He has became your weighted plushie in bed

He fell asleep afterwards

Bo Sinclair

Don't we sleep in the Same bed darlin?

He was going to check the gas station for a bit

"Is that why you have trouble sleeping?"

How about this, you can wear one of my shirts, I'll go down to the station and we can do anything you want

He comesback and your making popcorn while wearing his grey tee on

Watching a Documentary on the TV on Penguins

You fell asleep after that and he carry you to bed

Bubba Saywer

Relatable

Blanket Fort in the bedroom with some snacks

Watching a rerun on the TV in the bedroom

I recently watched the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the anniversary day

Lester Sinclair

"Oh my they get that bad?" He said when you told him about your really bad night Panic attacks

He normally doesn't go out at night but sometimes his brother ask him to come to the gas station to help out it

But tonight he can say in and listen to the radio

Snacking on jerky till you fell asleep

Jason Voorhees

Oh you poor bean

Much like Thomas and Vincent, Mama Bear Mode active

Warm blankets and warm drinks while having a Fire lit in the cabin

Eventually falling asleep next to the fire

Peepaw Michael Myers

Old man Head tilt

"Please stay in tonight Michael, I dont want to be alone tonight." You said to him

Putting on a old cheese romance movie to ease your nerves

He gags at some of the parts which makes you giggle

His turn, an old monster movie The Fly from 1958

He rubs your back while started to fall asleep

He carried you to the shared bedroom to sleep cause he started to get sleeply too

[the--rebel--fae]

HELLO!!!

do u think I could ask for some angst->fluff for nightmares for the Diasomnia boys?

(twisted wonderland)

A/N: Hiya, my dear! First off, I'd like to say I'm so so sorry for the late response to your request. Life's been...hectic, to say the least, and I'm still getting the hang of trying to do proper time management. Anyhoot! Thanks so much for the request! I really enjoyed writing this one. Tbh, I love these boys so much and have been getting back into the Twist fandom again, so yea 💜 Well my friend, I hope the wait was worth it! Enjoy!

Pairing: Diasomnia boys x Reader

Tw: None! Just pure fluff!

Word Count: 607

Chase The Nightmares Away - Bad Dream Comfort Headcanons

Lilia

First up, we have our lovely bat dad. We all know he’d probably be the perfect person to go to for nightmares.

He’s bat dad for a reason y’all.

When you walk in he’s probably still up, probably playing video games. 

So when you mumble you couldn’t sleep because of nightmares, he’s pulling up a chair, getting you a blanket, and snacks. Everything you need, peepaw has it. 

Wanna talk about what happened? No worries, he’s helped Silver, Sebek, and Malleus many times with their nightmares.

“Little bat? Are you alright? Ah, a nightmare. There’s no need to worry, why don’t you come sit by me and we can play this new video game together? And if you want, you can tell me about what happened.”

Sebek

Sebek, yea..good luck on getting some comfort from him. But he’ll try his best!

He’ll probably be like: Human what are you doing in here? Oh, you had a nightmare? Uhm, why are you here then?

Poor boy would be so confused.

He’ll definitely point out how weak humans are, but then I think when he sees you truly upset, he’d feel it as his duty as a knight to protect “those weaker than him”. At least that’s the excuse he’s playing when we both know the crocodile boy cares in his own tsun-tsun way.

“Human? Why are you here so late? A nightmare? I do suppose a human would be bugged by something like that. Fae are much stronger. O-oh I didn’t mean to make you more upset. Ahem, well, as my duty as a knight in training I’ll do you the service of protecting you. You should be honored. Here, you can borrow my Malleus-Sama plush. I made it myself! It looks just like the young lord, doesn’t it?”

Silver

Ah yes, our sleepy little prince Silver. If this boy is actually awake for once I think he’d do a pretty good job at comforting you.

I can see him as the type to have a lot of blankets so he’d probably give you one to snuggle with as comfort.

I could also see him get some of his little animal friends to comfort you too if you wanted that. 

And if you wanted to talk about your nightmare, he’d be all ears, at least until he’d fall back asleep. But, I bet he’d do his best to fight back the sleepiness as long as possible for you.

“Oh, Prefect. You’re up late. What’s that? You had a nightmare? I’m sorry, not sleeping well is never a good thing. Here, I have some extra blankets, and we can even get some of my animal friends here if you’d like. Don’t worry, it was just a dream, you’re ok now.”

Malleus

Ah, our Housewarden of Diasomnia, the future ruler of Briar Valley. Malleus Draconia. Our sweet draconic prince.

I think he’d care the most but not know whatever the loving hell what to do.

Does this man even get nightmares?

Walks around the Night Raven campus is definitely going to happen the second you tell him what’s wrong. Nothing solves problems better than a nice walk in some fresh air.

He’ll probably even tell you stories about his time in Briar Valley to distract you or even let you play with Gao Gao Dragon-kun!

10/10 best person to go to for comfort aside from Lilia.

“Child of Man? What’s the matter? You seem upset. Oh, a nightmare? Yes, those can be troubling. How about we take a walk outside and if you feel up to it, you can talk about it. It's better than being alone. I'll even let you play with Gao-Gao Dragon-kun.”

Well, that's it for these headcanons! I hope you enjoyed them! It was a lot of fun to write! And again, so sorry for the delay! Feel free to request again!

And if you guys want even more stories--like maybe your own personalized several-page long one-shots or even a multi-chap fic take a look at my Etsy Shop! I do commissions! I even have listings for Twisted wonderland!

[v-i-r-i-d-i-a-n]

After watching the Crystmas one shot I’ve been sucked back into riptide by my throat, so I did watch episode 92 without doing any quotes because it was early and I was tired BUT

Episode 93 “Legend Lore” quotes and moments!!

Also if Alphonse dies I’m gonna (remembers suicide jokes only harm myself and those around me) sob into my pillow

THE CONDI INTRO IS KILLING MEEEE

“But with gun you can BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. And all your problems are solved!! :DD”

Magical sword;”you can’t be serious.”

Gillion;”OH SO NOW YOUVE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?”

Brb gonna go sob in my pillow

Earl being fucking FROZEN is so funny

Ollie; “what if- what if instead of making Alphonse the canon, we made Alphonse the ship!”

Jay;”that is an INSANE idea IM IN.”

Jay;”Damn I need to try weed sometime”

Gillion;”THATS YOUR TAKE AWAY FROM TODAY?? Weed kills people 😭😭”

Jay;”I just need to rework the blueprints a bit but…they’re made for this ship so-“

Gillion;”If it doesn’t work…can I be the ship?”

Jay;”Gillion…yeah, yeah you can. You are the ship.”

Gillion;”You’re right you’re right I am the ship I am the ship- I’ve been awake for 48 hours.”

Jay;”Thank you for the kind words that means a lot.”

Griffin;”Like I said, soft and cuddly on the inside.”

Chip;”would it still be the Millennium Chipper…or would it be the Millennium Alphonse?”

Gillion;”Hear me out…the Alphatross”

Gillion;”And then I can be the ship!”

Chip;”Gillion- do you understand what “being the ship” would be?”

Gillion;”Oh yeah,”

Chip;”No arms- no legs? Just-“

Gillion;”Speed. Power. Buoyancy.”

Chip;”BUT YOU WOULDNT HAVE ARMS??”

Ollie;”I have no idea what’s going on :((“

Gillion;”You’d be a good boat”

Ollie;”what. 😟”

Gillion;”I am the boat, the boat is me, I am the boat, the boat is me, to be the boat is to be free”



Chip getting splashed by Queen twirling a mop

Chip;”You widdle or… think about bein’ a boat- goddamnit.”

Chip;”I think Gillion just thought up a new color.”

Gillion;”Gurple. 😇”

Jay;”I mean, it makes sense he’s your grandpa”

Gillion *looks down at Finn’s essentially porn novel*;”I know….thats what I’m worried about 😟”

Chip;”I mean he’s taking a bath with his grandpa I don’t wanna be here for this-“

OMG FINN FINNNNN FINN HES FINALLY HERE

“PEEPAW BE GETTING DOWN” IM SOBBING HELP ME LMAO

Gillion;”I’m sorry I’m not very good with my words, and I don’t know where we are- I just need you to be out there again!” The way I’m gonna start sobbing

NVM APPARENTLY GILLION IS SUPLEXING FINNS SUBCONSCIOUS NO LONGER ON THE VERGE OF TEARS

Drey and Finn Drey and Finn Drey and Finn I love them they’re getting reunited

Gillion;”Does- does that say garble bodarble?”

Gillion;”Sometimes I forget that I can read.”

Gillion;”I call upon the spell that is boss to give us that hot goss”

GODDD THE LORE IS SO LORING ITS SO LORE AGHHHHH

Gillion;”well…that is the most threatening thing I have ever read”

I love how Goobleck just…exists. And Grizzly just lets it happen ITS SO FUNNY

Gillion;”So not…good stuff”

Goobleck;”No very bad!”

Gillion;”…what.”

Gillion;”they all sound fucking COOL AS SHIT but I don’t know who they are :((“

Drey;”I honestly never believed in em’”

Gillion;”That’s my mom you’re talking about. Be nice.”

Gillion and Chip, fish n chips my absolute beloved <33

Ughh I missed these stupid pirates

[skyeslittlecorner]

can you post some photos on chapter five? ive been struggling to get to it and im impatient if ykwim 😭😭

Don't worry anon, I got you covered! Let's break this chapter for three parts - one for story and for one for both H-scenes. There are a lot of things to look forward to~

Warning: HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT. In fact, I'll try to shorten the whole thing and focus on plot-relevant facts, so for those who want to go through chapter 5 on their own, come back when you're done! (Or just skip to h-scene, they are marked.)

Ch5 - STORY

First, I would like to warn that my opinion about it may be unpopular. As someone who hadn't paid much attention to Hades before, I fell in love with it after this episode. I adore ch5. A lot of people hate these boys to the core for what they did, and I understand and respect their opinion, but I'm with Hades here. I would love to analyze their behavior in more detail, but we don't have time for that today.

Summarizing this chapter is going to be hard because a lot of things happened. Let's go!

We start by going down a slide sponsored by Leviathan and his Lovecraftian friends (TM). But worry not! It seems we have friends even in the realm of death. Say hello to grandpa!

We talk a little, being in a questionable mood. Well, who wouldn't be? But we have the opportunity to know Solomon better, and I'm getting to understand why all devils love him. By the way, it turns out that we are his last descendant.

Sorry Solomon, you're still a peepaw.

He also advises us not to be afraid of Leviathan and not to be submissive to him, and then in a brilliant way he sends us back to the world of the living. Of course, our beautiful king is delighted.

We take Grandpa's advice to heart and finally stand up to Levi. He's surprised, but he doesn't try to kill us again (for now). We witness him hanging one of his subjects, who dared to ask about an accident from 311 years ago.

Fun fact. Devils must have much stronger spines. Do you know how people used to die by hanging? The first methods involved cutting off oxygen, but later they involved into breaking the cervical spine and this was considered a standard hanging execution. Leviathan must be gentle (how bad it sounds in this context), he could kill instantly with a loop like that.

Back to the point. We find out that we also have a noose around our neck, and Leviathan makes use of it. We're hanging, but we finally begin to meet Leviathan's nobles one by one.

Glasyal plots (and ends up hanging for it), Foras argues with him, along the way we learn that Leviathan needs us in his plan, and, you know, maybe killing us isn't the smartest thing he can do. Only Barbatos realizes that maybe it's a good idea to stop hanging us like wet laundry. He's the only one so openly nice to us.

Remember that.

Another fun fact, our MC is of medium height (~160 cm I guess). Leviathan is 187cm, Foras should be similar. I only noticed this because I myself am 180 cm so they are not so strappingly tall for me.

Foras wants to take us away from Levi and explain everything calmly, but the king does not agree. We learn that the guys know where the seed from the Tree of Knowledge is. We're supposed to go with them, and we have about a 50/50 chance of survival. Also, we have the opportunity to see a very rare phenomenon, a joking Leviathan.

Sweetie.

Colossally shortening the rest, the cavalry arrives! You didn't have to. I haven't had time to fuck them yet.

And this cavalry is very much at odds with the nobles of Hades. Most of the time is them arguing. Fortunately, they didn't kill each other…

...because Barbie decided to kill us.

Barbatos is poisoning us to force Bimet and Valefor to join the plan. While we are unconscious, we have flashes of Leviathan's past, which is too sad to analyze considering that we are about to jump to hot scenes now. Besides, most of us already know what this is about. Experience it for yourself. Really. We also learn that not only angels experimented on children, and a little about Mammon's childhood.

In the end, we learn that in Ch6 we must visit the abandoned laboratory in Tartaros, where the seed from the tree of knowledge should be, because as Solomon's descendants, we may be the only ones who will not be killed by it.

Ch5 - VALEFOR H-SCENE

(I really wanted to post CG from Valefor's scene here, but I don't know if Tumblr will block it.)

TIME FOR DESSERT!

Bimet is the first to realize that we lack devil energy. He wants to take care of it, but Valefor brushes him off, sends him to scout, and overall Bimet is our wingman, what a bro lol

Since we are away from Satan and Gehenna, we cannot summon Minhyeok's room. MC thinks she's outgrown it anyway. So we can count on the next scenes to be more and more creative.

It all starts with us telling Valefor that he reminds us of Mammon. And what a beast it brings out of him.

And he loves it.

...aaand then, someone wants to interrupt. Bimet informs us about this and goes to chase them out. Valefor stands with us at the door to see if anyone else is coming. Yes. Naked. With us. In us.

Fortunately, no one catches us and after the entire session we fall asleep in our knight's arms.

I really would like to do more screenshots, but tumblr is blocked… and there's one more part to come.

Ch5 - LEVIATHAN H-SCENE

At least you look beautiful and the platform won't block you.

And here's what I love the most. It was sick. I'd love to experience it again.

I would love to make a whole post ONLY about this and just leave the screenshots.

We are in Leviathan's office, and he interrogates us when we feel like we are lacking devil energy. We want to go to Bimet, but do you think our jealous king will allow it? Oh no no no. And of course, his hands land on our chin and then our neck. He doesn't like our hickeys.

We start asking him valid questions like "why are you jealous of us if you hate us?" So he silences us with a kiss. A deep, suffocating kiss. This is also how Leviathan discovers that we gain their energy through "intercourse with the devil".

And how can I not fall in love with this idiot.

The conversation that follows gives us some light on his approach to sex and to relationships in general. Which is… sad. It fits him perfectly, but it's sad. And I would also like to analyze this someday, this character is beautiful and how he's written is even more beautiful, especially from writer's point of view. He does not want the admiration of his people or the hatred of angels. The only thing he can believe and consider to be sincere is that someone's dislike. This is something that might actually turn him on.

At first he rules, he asks questions and he hangs us. And he does everything he can to piss us off. He hands us a whip and lowers us down.

Just disliking him isn't enough, and he works diligently to make us hate him. He insults Minhyeok, us, wishes us dead, and the more he sees our anger, the more he gets excited and talks more. He knows that we are connected to Satan and we will know how to release our anger. On him.

He finally got what he wanted. We straddle him and, with the help of Satan's strength, begin to strangle him. Neither you nor he are gentle.

Also, his words (unfortunately, I already have a limit on screenshots). "Do not bite your lips. Bite mine instead." I beg, let me violate him even more.

Compliment from Leviathan, nice. In the end, we fall asleep cuddled up to him, and he has no intention of giving us up to anyone. As in the case of Sitri, he only opens up to us when we are so unconscious that we do not see his softer side.

꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂

AND THATS ALL! What a ride it was, I hope I was a good guide. One day I will go into the Hades boys in more depth, but for now, let this be a shortcut for everyone who is still struggling with ch5.

[reagi-df]

Leon is so happy to meet other versions of himself at the @tmntaucompetition, Cleo on the other hand? Not so much, he's going through stuff and it's bad enough he's having to deal with Leon and Him. But Leon thinks it might be good exposure.... Hopefully there won't be any bloodshed

--------- “Bro, can't you just chill,? Leo whines. “Your not even 26 yet and I can already see the wrinkles in your face from the resting bitch face you keep sporting” 

Leo turns his head to the side, amber eyes narrowing at him, “chill?” He echoes, turns fully to Leon now, “it’s bad enough I have to deal with you and him, but now there’s more of us?”

Leo drags his hands down his face with a groan and Leon catches the slight shake in his limbs. Brows furrowing, Leon adjusts his stance, shoulders drawing back as he fingers the scalpel that’s hidden in his wrappings, ready and waiting. 

Keeping his voice low Leon speaks slowly. “It’s not a big deal, their not going to be here for long”

Leo digs his fingers into his skin and lets off a sharp hiss as he hunches his shoulders. 

Leon curses and edges out from behind the settee and warily steps closer, “hey” he waits for a solid 5 seconds before the older slider lifts his head, and he hates the look the other is giving him.

His distorted pupils have retracted into slits, and a chill runs through Leon; he suddenly feels like he’s prey and those predators were locked onto him. He desperately tries to remember what he saw the other peepaws do when Leo gets like this, hell Leons sure Casey would have a better understanding of how to help his counterpart. 

A low growl ripples out, shattering the quietness that had filled the room. Shit, he thinks, he stares down at the predator. 

He feels a tug on his ninpo and dread fills him. He needs to defuse this situation as quickly as he can.  

Leon’s eye catches onto a cup of water sitting on the table, eyes dart back and forth between the slider and the water, he’s seen Tello do the same and it worked then, sure Tello had to hide for a few hour a until Leo calmed down and stopped hunting him but it still worked. 

He’s just hoping it’ll work now. 

He edges toward the table as casually as he could, makes sure he’s out of arm reaches and keeps his tone soft. 

“Look i'm going to be real with you, I’ve never been good on the whole “self help” stuff,” Leon air quotes, “but I know the usual process of getting people to calm down from panic attacks won’t usually work on you and I’d really like to not knock you out if I can help it”

Once he’s close, he inches his fingers closer to the cup; those irregular eyes were locked into his own, it unsettles  him but if the older wasn’t looking at what his hands are doing then that’s fine. 

Like magicians, it’s all about misleading.

Cup firmly in his hand he steps forward. 

“So it’s either you let me help you calm down. Or I go get Tello, hell even Casey ” he’s a little disappointed name dropping Casey didn’t get a reaction out of him. 

Sharp eyes peek out from his fingers, Leo’s golden eyes are a stark contrast to his black mask, making them all the more piercing as they stare into Leon’s very being.

When he’s met with no other reaction, Leon carries on, “okay that’s good, I’m probably the last person you wanna see but there’s nothing I can do.”

“And hey, I’m sorry” he grins and throws the cup of water at his counterpart's face, the slider flings back with a hiss and lands on his backside.

Leon waits with a bated breath, as Leo stares up at him,  eye blinking while the water drips from his face. It takes a few seconds for either one of them to speak.

“What. The hell” Leo growls and Leon can’t take him seriously when he looks like a grumpy wet cat.

Faking casual Leo shrugs nonchalantly and sets the cup down, “shouldn’t have hissed at me then” even as he speaks he’s still creeping away, those same amber eyes narrowed into slits, and he sees the way the eldest slider's body tenses up.

Eugh boy

“Y’know, I’m curious” Leo gets up slowly, water droplets hitting his plastron and onto the floor. “I don’t remember how fast I used to be when I was younger” Leo regrets everything up until this point when he sees a smile twist onto Leo’s face, sharp white canines glisten in the light.

“You sure you won’t pop a hip” unable to hold back a snark, Leon regards him.

“Wanna test it?”  His voice is low and menacing and Leo could see the sadistic look in his eyes.

“I just suddenly remembered Donnie wants me, so how about we test this some other time m’kay?”   Grinning Leo turns and legs it with his counterpart hot on his tail. 

“I shoulda just let you suffer!” Leo yelps just as a hand missed reaching out for him.

Please excuse my dyslexia

[loveforaninstant]

AO3 is down so I can't leave a review there right now, BUT OOHHHH MYYYY GODDD!!!!

GRAMPY TREVOR MY BELOVED!!!!!

Softer, older Trevor who knows how to be a family man and isn't afraid to show his emotions? He isn't OOC at all, this character development makes perfect sense and you've done a wonderful job with your presentation of him!!!!

His interactions with Richter were so GODDAMN SWEET AGGHHHH!!!!

That poor kid needs his peepaw!!!! -_-

I can't wait to see Trevor reunite with Alucard.

Good old Alucard, everyone's favorite emotionally repressed crinkled tissue.

oh my god it's you hi. sorry ive been rereading all your comments on my stuff since you started leaving them and figuring out how to ask hey do you have tumblr bc theres so much lore i want to tell you that hasnt made it in yet and i feel like youd be invested. hi! hello! pleasure to finally meet you!

im so glad revived-at-canon-age-but-has-lived-like-80-year-trevor feels in character--i figured a trevor who's raised multiple kids would be a little gentler than canon 25-smth "watched his buddy kill his dad and then went dont get all weepy about it" trevor. rip richter poor kid is convinced hes doing so bad and trevor is like. buddy you have gotta slow down. that was my favorite part tbh i love putting him through situations

[hanafubukki]

(Message may have been sent twice, I was having really bad connection issues earlier 💀)

I'm so sorry about how overwhelming everything is, Hana!! The only advice I can give (taken from Lilia himself..) please stay alive no matter what!! Even if you have to run away, everything else can be sorted out as long as you're alive! Wishing you as much luck as you can get ❤️

Thank you Anonie 💞🫂💚

Yours and everyone’s kind messages and support has really helped me. Thank you everyone for lending me your ears and for supporting me. 🫂💚🫶☺️

It’s kind of funny but I was also thinking along the same lines you were Anonie 😂

Earlier today, while packing I was thinking “how the hell did Lilia do it??” His room is full of stuff and it’s messy. And he somehow?? Managed to fit his belongings in a suitcase?? Lilia what??

I imagine with him expecting to pass away soon, he wouldn’t be so worried about possessions besides a few precious things and we don’t see all the items he takes but my point still stands. Lilia what??? 😅😂

Thank you Anonie!! I’ll do my best and survive 🙏🙏 I’m not going anywhere 🙏🙏 I have things to look forward to and am excited about and I’m going to let that keep my spirits up 🫂🫂💚💚 (got to listen to the wise old peepaw 🫡💞)

I got some much needed sleep today (slept half the day away) and that’s helped me greatly. I was able to eat and hydrate more and that helped too. The last couple days with personal life and work has been tense so it worn me down a lot mentally and physically.

I’m still worried about the palisades fire still spreading but I’m taking it as it comes and also distracting myself with stuff 🙏🙏💞💞 (expect me to ramble about lilia and mal soon lol)

Thank you again everyone for your support and advice. I really appreciate it 🫂🙏🥹

(Don’t worry about the connection issue Anonie 😭🫂 I hear a lot of people are having this issue. Me included. I keep getting error or posts not loading. Comments are not posting and my profile not loading. It’s probably tumblr messing up again 🫂🫂)

[fleshadept]

your childlike understanding of queer media becomes extremely obvious when a project that has had queer people involved in every step of the process is called "straight"

we were lucky to get what we did, amazon is still a megacorporation that answers to shareholders

is this about me saying rwrb had straight energy… regardless of how many queer people worked on it, the overall message was assimilationist. the main characters were a variety i like to call ‘straightgay’ where they’re gay only in the most surface level way while removing queerness from its radical political history and making them so inoffensive and bland as to ensure neoliberal white moms aren’t alienated. the inherent politicism of queerness is erased in favor of a fantasy queerness that celebrates power structures like the monarchy and entirely ignores how they oppressed us for centuries, aside from the weak “oh no my peepaw don’t like me :(“ conflict henry gets.

rwrb is entirely un-reflective, taking the author’s neoliberal political views at face value and presenting a version of US and UK power structures that both clearly contain homophobia but to such a limited extent that it’s clear no one working on it truly understood it. the characters’ conflicts were shallow, the guy playing alex could barely act, and the film’s attempt to get the audience to feel bad for these characters who represent the power structures that still oppress us fell extremely flat.

the “but the shareholders!” excuse might explain parts of this, but a lot of it was present to an even more extreme extent in the book (alex’s mom being besties with netanyahu, for example). that explanation also doesn’t mean it can’t or shouldn’t be criticized. amazon studios approved the show a league of their own (at least he first season), which dealt expertly with the intersection of queerness and class and race, had realistic, well-made characters, and a powerful emotional center. if you feel like you need to blame amazon for the movie being shit, i’m sorry, it might just be shit

[lavadragon365]

Which TMNT Write Fight fics were your favorite to write/read?

This was my first ever ask! It made me feel so special XD.

Sorry it took me so long to answer! But my favorite fic to write for the TMNT Write Fight event was "Casey Alone". I wanted to describe how each of ROTTMNT Casey Junior's family members interacted with him in the bad timeline. I wanted to explore the emotions that the teen from the future must feel. I loved getting to write that story and share it with others. I'm discovering that I love gifting fics to people, and I am just as much loving receiving positive feedback on what I write! It's been fun seeing people other than me enjoy the stories I write. :)

I only got to write one other story for the event because I was busy with work but I had a lot of fun writing it as well! (Link to it can be found here) It was a story about some of the aftermath of the krang invasion in ROTTMNT. I loved getting to explore Leo's trauma.

As for my favorite fic to read, it was a fic called "All Because You Had to Try" written by @morrigan-cotk95. I have a special place in my heart for the rottmnt future bad timeline turtles and it hit me in just the right spot. I also love reading things with ghost F! Leo and I feel we need more ROTTMNT fics with ghost peepaw Leo. It was also written so well, and I could feel the things that Leo did. The story gave me shivers. XD

I also really enjoyed both of the fics written for me. Haunted by @azucar-skull and lil_michelangelo posted an image by @dandylovesturtles. Both of them were phenomenal and blew any expectations I had had out of the water. They far exceeded what I'd been hoping would be done and if you get a chance, you should read them!

Anyway, this is getting long. I just wanted to delve a little into my answer. :)

[theshypinkflower]

About the peepaw fox humping thing

What would he do if the MC like.

Didnt get shy after he said “sure, go ahead”, and just played along with it even more. Like didnt back down at all

Would they die here/get badly injured or would he also go with it?

(Sorry im bad at putting what i mean into text 💔💔💔)

You might get a little scratch up and bit, but it’s not like you’d DIE or anything. You’d be having to be getting a bit too rough for him to do something (i.e. choking to rough). Other than that he’d still go along with it, he needs a dicking down too now and then!

(Although if he wakes up with his hip hurting don’t expect him to be nice on your next show)

[beefrobeefcal]

https://64.media.tumblr.com/f80dfd4d4022311baf5ba6098b37fe83/181245afbf287710-c0/s1280x1920/76405f99a7880202727dd0a350a203f25c747899.jpg

xoxo

To Nonnie, Love Beefro

Nonnie, thank you. I needed this today.

Imma take a moment and be real with you all right now. Your beef is in a funk, and not the shake your groove thing kind.

tw: mental health talk

If this isn’t your bag and you’re just here for chaos beef fat peepaw meltdowns, mad respect, baby, and I’ll see you in the next post or two! 💜🥩💜

Smuttiest regards,

Beefro 👌🥩💜

First and foremost, I am not looking for sympathy, I’m just keeping y’all in the loop. This is something I have lived with for years and it’s only in my late 30’s that I have been able to put words to it (now NO ONE CAN STOP ME!), and you also might be thinking but beef, didn’t you just go thru this?

Like a beaver on a unicycle, these are the days of our lives and yeah - this cycle of good and bad, shit and great, highs and lows? happy and sad is my life. 🎢🥩🤯

There are factors in my non-internet life that I don’t have control over right now and they’re causing pretty severe anxiety, and it’s gotten so outside the I-can-handle-this realm that the terrible, ominous, dread-inducing brain goblin - depression - has made a cantankerous nest in my noggin. I call him Norbert.

I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m warm. I’m comforted. But I’m sad. Norbert has me seeing slights and purposeful ignorance in harmless and pleasant interactions. Norbert also tells me there’s slightly veiled hatred in a completely-obvious-it’s-not-about-me statement.

Depression is such a selfish brain bastard. It tells you every bad thing is and must be about you, and it tells you these lies over and over until you break down and believe them. I hate depression. But I don’t hate me. I love me enough to know I need kindness - not just from my inner circle and irl besties - but also from myself. I deserve to be treated gently, especially when I’m feeling fragile and breakable and fractured.

This isn’t me saying I’m taking a break - far from it! But I may not be as quick to respond or posting as frequently. I say that, and who knows… peepaw could show up to a movie festival in an outfit that gives home economics project inspired by chicken wire and I could be brought back to life and feel better. That’s the joy of harboring a Norbert - I could be fine one minute and debilitated the next.

Nonnie, I’m sorry to usurp your THOT with sad beef rambles, but i had to convey that I really did need this. I needed a small, wordless reminder that someone remembers me (again, depression lies!). Not only did you remember me, you thought of me when you saw Tim looking like he had one too many nights of take out and took the time to send this so me. 💜🥩💜 thank you.

Despite what Norbert tells me, I matter.

[babiebom]

Would I Give Them Head(dbd edition)

A/N:I did a Stardew valley version and thought that it would be cool/funny if i did it for all of the things I write for! Again this is only for the males! And it's just for fun! Both killers and survivors

Tw:sexual content,cursing

Genre:headcanons? Shitpost.

Wc: 2+ for each character!

The Mastermind/Albert Wesker

Only in a hate sex situation

I severely dislike this man

I do not care that he is blonde and British I HATE him:(

The Dredge

Absolutely not wtf

I don't wanna hear tortured screams thanks

The Blight/Talbot Grimes

No

I do not enjoy his drippy face

It's icky

The Ghostface/Danny "Jed Olsen" Johnson

Yes

I think we have already established that I'm a Ghostface girlie

Would give him the best sloppy toppy I could

Is allowed to kill me after I do not mind

The Doctor/ Herman Carter

Not unless I had to

His face scares me and I hate his laugh

I would also dislike him as a person

The Clown/ Jeffrey Hawk

No

And when I say thia I mean all the disrespect

But i hate this stupid clown

He makes me want to be violent

The Trapper/Evan Macmillan

I feel like he doesn't wash himself properly

So no

Probably is filthy

The Wraith/Phillip Ojomo

Not my favorite but due to his backstory I feel bad for him

So maybe a friendly handjob

The Hillbilly/Max Thompson Jr

I say this with NO disrespect

But he does not bathe

And while I love him I am not putting that anywhere near my mouth

Will give him a handjob tho

The Oni/Kazan Yamaoka

Yeah sure

He is large and in charge

Also has to be clean? I think he might be clean

The Nightmare/Freddy Kreuger

No

I would however like to punch the side of his head so hard it caves in

He deserves to have it cut off

The Twins/Victor Deshayes

No

This is a child

The Cenobite/Elliot Spencer

The chains are kinda kinky

So yeah

Also him tummy out and I think its cute

The Nemesis

No

Stinky dead man

His tentacle things make you sick he needs to stay away from me

The Executioner/Pyramid Head

YES

he is one that is allowed to be dirty

He is so attractive and he doesn't even have a face

He just walks around with that big ass sword knife thing and his hips amd im sold

I'm down bad

The Legion/Frank

Probably not

Isn't he like 18?

Too young for me

The Legion/Joey

Again too young for me

So no

Like im sorry but they're literally described as teens

The Cannibal/Bubba Sawyer

Like Maxie

Its not that i hate him its that he's stinky

So handjob it is

The Knight/Tarhos Kovács

For the following i think they're all stinky

BUT Tarhos is different

Simply because I do like the Knight x Princess trope and I would like to be the princess

So I guess yes

The Carnifex/Sander Rault

No

Hate him

Wanna smash a pallet on his bead

The Assassin/Durkos Malecek

No

Stupid man

Always is mean so NO

I will scream if he appears one more time

The Jailer/Alejandro Santiago

Maybe a handjob because I like his name

Its very cute

The Shape/Michael Myers

Unfortunately yes

Though I do hate the man because he literally instakills me

I cannot deny that I am attracted to him

The Deathslinger/Caleb Quinn

No

Peepaw does not get his Dick sucked by me sorry

He needs to be in a nursing home and have his shooting license revoked

The Trickster/Jiwoon Hak

Yes

Very attractive but also very annoying

The one killer I main

I would give him one the punch him immediately

The Demogorgon

This is bestiality

So no

Doggie does not get head from me

Does get head rubs tho

Maybe some belly rubs

The Singularity

I have no idea who this is where did it even come from

Is this a man or woman someone tell me

Also while I am a robot fucker I would have to say no

Jake Park

Yes

I had an immediate crush on him

He is also a loner type so yes

Absolute hawtie

Dwight Fairfield

Yes

Sweet sweet boy probably needs one

Would be so thankful that I HAVE to

Leon Kennedy

YES

is this even a question fr?

Sexy sexy man

Only cop I will get on my knees for

David Tapp

No

Reminds me of family members

William "Bill" Overbeck

Naur eema

Maybe a handjob because why not i like his get up one time free perk

David King

No

Gives off bestie vibes

Would give handjob tho

Steve Harrington

Okay don't kill me

But I have never watched the tinger strangs

Aren't they in middle or high school

Absolutely not

Carlos Oliveira

I like his name it makes him seem attractive

So yes

Ace Visconti

NO

Have a love hate relationship with this man

Will not have any part of me close to him in that way at all

Quentin Smith

An adult?

I think?

I have also never seen this movie I am so confused

Yes if adult no if younger than 21

Adam Francis

Ummmmm

Sure I guess

I think it would be okay?

Jeff Johansen

He looks stinky but idk

I would give him a handjob

He seems cool and mysterious

Ash Williams

NO

I do not find him attractive at all

I kinda dislike his face

Jonah Vasquez

No

He just seems stinky

Yoichi Asakawa

YES

I had a big crush on him when I first played the game

Will get on my KNEEES FOR HIM

WILL GET SACRIFICED FOR HIM

Felix Richter

Yuh

Gives off sugar daddy vibes

Vittorio Toscano

Yuhhhhh

Also gives off sugar daddy vibes

Why is be so attractive is it the hair?

Jonathan Byers

Again i have not watched the show

Are they not all teens?

I am so confused

No