#sorry all might he's just better at explaining things that's why he's the narrator

[plusultraetc]

so I finally downloaded mhui and as predicted I am sooo confused, however I did also immediately read this as Kurogiri serving 💁‍♀️ darkness

[mewmew-dream]

uh, is it too late to make slay the princess long quiet (and narrator) designs..? the voices designs will get designed soon! ((narrator design is basically a spoiler for those who haven't seen or played to the end of the game so beware!)) theres more info for the design and the narrator's design below along with the full image!! - - - took me so long to actually start drawing out my design tbh! mostly a mix of procrastination and other things honestly!. anyways! you may notice how my design differs from what others designed the long quiet as and the official vague renderings of him! this is very much on purpose if you couldnt tell as there is an explanation for this. - (sorry in advanced for the very odd and choppy explanation, im not very good at explaining things so i'll probably draw what i mean later to compensate) - the long quiet in the first loop(s) looks like this, but with each new part to that specific loop he'll start transforming, looking more bird like (like what we have to go off of from art from the game) each time. this also happens in the void area! (i know its called the long quiet also but i call it the void.) the design was my first idea of the game before getting the game and knowing what happened but i kept the design, just not the reason on why he looks like this! basically my thought process on this before was basically " guy who was sketchy to begin with got cursed? cool! but he has to slay a princess due to him being an outcast and his curse? better!! " it doesnt hold up when you know what happened / happens in the end though but yeah.

the narrator is based off what we get from the mirror when the player obtains 5 vessels for the shifting mound, except with all seeing eyes i guess.. he stays near the long quiet to observe in each loop yet out of sight. of course his voice is in the long quiets head so distance isnt accounted for when he's talking! he of course can see the voices as well with those big ol' eyes.

aaand heres the full image! shoutout to anyone who can see the very visible but suppose to be hidden details! (they where very last minute..) also ignore the odd neck feathers, i was gonna add more to the chest but forgot up until now but i might fix it later!!

[namelessdumbass]

Rite Here Rite Now

It was amazing and funny. Copia girlies and boys fucking won!

I expected different outcome, tbh. Tobias managed to surprise me and also made me a tiny bit sad (reasons will be explained in the spoilers below).

The film consists of like 95% of concert footage and 5% of off stage/plot stuff. The quality of sound and editing is just 🤌 I expected the live of Twenties to be good and gosh Ghost delivered. And Mummy Dust...Tobias let Mary Goore out! But i honestly prefer Terzo's version (CaD) better. Sorry not sorry haha. Ghouls/Ghoulettes footage. Everyone who loves them will be very veeeery well fed!

Dance Macabre live...i was'nt wrong when i called it a satanic gay party 😁

The movie is worth watching and i do hope Ghost releases it as soon as possible for all those who were not able to go.

The spoiler free review ends here. Don't read further if you don't want to spoil it for yourself. And please, don't copy them and paste it everywhere for the sake of ruining other people's fun! Seriously, don't fucking do that!

If you accidently clicked here, don't worry! spoilers will be below and you still have a chance to avoid them :)

Alriiiiight:

Movie starts with Saltarian who tells fans to record for the first 2 minutes, to show how happy they are etc and posted a qr code for fans to upload those recordings. I guess it will be put up on RHRN website. We'll see. There were also photos of fans who attended LA ritual. I fucking loved the person who showed up in a giant Plushia suit. I LOLed! Then fans were asked to put down the phones and enjoy the movie. The beginning was narrated Star Wars kinda style (a little bit) with the small recap of the chapters and about Copia's worries that he might die. And yes, it literally began in space lol. The movie is basically is like what we saw in small snippets Ghost posted earlier. Plot mixed with a really good show.

And the plot: -Short footage of Copia and Ghouls arriving. ALmost the whole set was the same as any other concert from Re-Imperatour + a few awesome exceptions. -Dews does that annoying thing with guitar, Rain stops him, takes his pick and throws it into the crowd and Dew...he freaking showed him YouSuck sticker on the backside of his guitar. Peak Dew moment! -Copia asked the right question about the Clery. He also does not quite understand what it does, why and where it goes. I suppose Tobias decided to thicken the Ghost lore a bit and will have more clarity in the nearest future. -Remember when Copia jumped at the end of the Watcher in the Sky? He ended up in one of those stage boxes (for equipment or something) and is taken to the stage B. While he's carried to it by Kevin he has a chat with Nihil's ghost. Nihil says he recorded not 2, but 3 songs. That probably means that we'll hear a new one. (UPD: the new song we heard during the credits, "The Future is a Foreign Land" is Nihil's 3rd song! Confirmed by Tobias himself in a new interview). He also tells Copia to breath in deep and then farts. -On the Stage B Copia sings "If You Have Ghosts". 3 Ghoulettes played piano and violins and the 4th one did the haunting ghost-like opera vocals. It was beatiful. Copia kissed her hand. -He then wore boxing robe and went next to crowd. Almost the whole scene was shown in the trailer. -Btw, remember that silly moment when Nihil's eyes were crossing? Well, Kevin was also included in that staring contest. -Twenties live. The skeletons, the performance and one of those skeletons who crawled between Dew's legs...that's hot. -Nihil calls Copia "son". Copia calls Nihil "Dad". Cardi will insult him later, don't worry. -Nihil/Seestor cartoon during MOAC. Yes, that's when Sis hit him with the car. Basically it's what happens after "Kiss the Go Goat" mv. Sister leaves and Nihil runs after her. "I'll never let you go". They end up kissing in a coffin on a graveyard , later Nihil wakes up naked in a bed in a motel and we see Sister leave. -There was a moment in a movie when we see Ashley (stage crew) bring Copia a new pair of shoes and put the on on his feet. Tobias, goddammit what the hell was that? :D -Seestor was a in wheelchair all the time -She and Nihil encouraged Copia throughout the whole movie and gave him a piece of advice. -About the baloon from the poster. Copia flies on it after finishing the set...or he imagined that because a few moments later after Nihil/Seestor flashbacks he ends up on the floor and watches Seestor die. All of the Ghouls and Ghoulettes also stood right next to her. -Copia has a twin brother -Copia didn't die and became the head the Clergy (Father Imperator or something like this). He found out about his new position from a letter Seestor left for him. -New song during credits (credits show dictators, assassinations, wars and the use of nuclear war). Years 1984 and 2024 mentioned. The song is not heavy. -Ghouls/Ghoulettes real names mentioned in the credits -Funny post credit scene with Copia. He had no piant on and had a new cool drip (with black jacket and red and black cross). Seestor is also a Ghost now. Tobia's children cameo. They're also Ghosts. -Papa V is teased the same way Copia was teased in a chapter 1. They even used the same music (Pro Memoria). No face reveal. Either he will be revealed in new Chapters or at some point during the new tour???

-aaaand my biggest disappointment: no footage of Primo, Secondo and Terzo. Literally ZERO.

I mean, Nihil is a Ghost, Seestor also became a Ghost, even Tobias' children made a cameo as Ghosts, but nothing for previous Papas? Really?! The same could have been done for them, but i guess Tobias doesn't care about them anymore :( And it hurts. I know that's my fault that i had so many expectations and hopes, but holy shit :( As a newbie who never saw previous Papas, i'm so sad i'll never get a chance to see them and there won't be any new footage of them. Being Terzo widow is so hard. Guess that's why i'm a bit salty Copia lives (sorry, guys, i like him, but i also hate him haha)

And yes, as it turned out the twins theory from Square Hammer was true...but not for Terzo 😭

I enjoyed the movie nevertheless. It's fun and kinda gives you an opportunity to see the band "live" if you've never been to a ritual before. And yes, the movies was'nt just about Papa IV and his fate, i believe it was also Tobias' message for us to enjoy the life rite here rite now! As i said, Copia's girlies and boys truly fucking won. Congrats, lads, your Papa lives and will live! I bet that feels amazing. Thanks for reading! P.S. since you know the plot, don't spoil it for the others please.

[mallas28]

Why Mechanical suit makes no sense in MHA ending? I will try to explain.

Many in fandom can't get over messed up ending of MHA. I got messages from people who are upset. And i can get their feeling. In this post i will try to explain why Mechanical suit given by All Might in the end doesn't make sense at all. Lets get started.

1. Ruined message of all manga. During all manga narration show us that hero could be everybody and id doesn't matter what quirk you have or your status. All you need is ure hard and hardworking. 430 chapter totally ruined that. Telling us that unless you have strong quirk or millionare friends you will be a loser with no friends and job where you unhappy (remember how in 430 chapter Izuku still have sad face and look unhappy). More interesting is that Izuku doesn't do anything to be a hero without a quirk ( Hello spinoff with a better plot). He just walks with sad face with no friends no goal in life. Until SUDDENLY All Might appears and give him a suit out of nowhere. Do you get what i am trying to say? OFA Izuku earned and it was shown in manga. Mechanical suit Izuku doesn't earn at all. He doesn't even try to be a hero without quirk.

Also, Izuku looks like a big hypocrite to that boy Dai(i forgot his name). He just tells Dai he can be a hero with a weak quirk in order to get a millionare suit, immediately abandon his job neing teacher and join his friends....Wow. Izuku...you hate your job so much? Dai, sweetie, i am sorry for all that. You could be a hero, if Horikoshi has a better writing skills or better and strong editor.

2. Horikoshi makes all looks like his favorite comics DC and Marvel and doesn't aknowledge the writing background.

So many people see that Izuku become new Iron man of MHA. Horikoshi several times stated that he loves Marvel Spiderman and Tony Stark. He wants to make MHA just like Marvel and DC and thats the major problem. He doesn't want to analyze writing background his favorite characters has in Marvel. He just copied and added without questions.

The same thing with Mechanical suit. Horikoshi just thinks that it would be a good thing to make Izuku new Tony Stark. Now let me explain why it doesn't work. What writing background Tony Stark has

1. Tony Stark is a billionaire with high Intelligence. No Fairy GodMother appear out of nowhere and give him suit. Tony Stark literally make his first suit out of trash by his own hands!!!! He literally make himself a hero by using his brain. It works in narrative.

Izuku on the other hand as i mentioned above, just has a Fairly Godmother aka All Might who give him suit.

2. Tony Stark has a several breaking points. I saw in fandom that many people were craving for Izuku has a breakdown moment. Izuku doesn't have that. He just walks with sad face, pretending to be happy. But nothing....

Tony Stark was fighting with alcoholism!!! Because of stress being Iron Man and his inner demons!!

3. Most Important detail. Mechanical suit given by Izuku was inventing by 8 f%%$ years! One suit!!! Do you see a problem here?

Lets imagine that Izuku faces villain who can control technology. What could he do in that moment? Or lets imagine that Izuku faces villain like AFO (with strong quirk i mean) and his suit is crushed. What he is gonna do next? Walking with gloomy face again waiting for another 8 years for All Might to appear? Do you see problem? Mechanical suit doesn't make sense. Even All Might example proves that..because his Mechanical suit handle 1 fight!!! 1 fight Carl. And was total crushed!!!

Add to this Izukus self-destructive behavior and you will understand that this Mechanical suit will have a very short life. These billions dollars could be given to poor ill children instead it would be more heroic than this

Tony Stark on the other hand has 100500 suit that were crashed!!! Yes! Tony Stark has several versions of suits. Many were crushed! But as i mentioned before Tony Stark is highly intelligent character by himself he is independent and him wearing suit is a logical thing. Unlike Izuku...

To summarize, i am very disappointed by ending and by Izuku getting that damn suit. Horikoshi is a terrible writer. But smth tells me that he planned totally different ending but Jump forbidded and he was forced to make a different ending. Because 430 chapter so wrong written, whith ZERO edition, with no sense at all. That i feel it was written in one week literally or one day. But original ending was thrown out of windows. Thank to Jump.

[thelonelysoulhome]

Yashiro's hypersexuality and trauma response.

(part 1)

I wanted to write my thoughts about saezuru for so long so I'm finally gathering the time and the courage to . I will try my best to be clear but sorry if it end up to be just me rubling all my thoughts lol.

I wanted to start by saying that saezuru is my favorite manga work by far because of how real and profound the trauma is depicted in it, Yoneda sensei is not just writing a story, she write true emotions that go deeper than the surface, and how trauma in the childhood can change and chape someone's life...(I could go on and on and on but i'll stop here).

This post will be focused on the psychological point of view cause I feel like it's important to be aware of this side to better understand Yashiro behaviors and way of thinking.

(That would probably be long so I will seperated it in different part/post).

Yashiro's sa from childhood trough puberty:

The experience of child sexual abuse can change the way children and young people understand their world, the people in it and where they belong. Their understanding of themselves and the world can become distorted, and create mistrust, fear, and betrayal.

(That why Y is an unreliable narrator, that mean we can't trust what he saying about himself or the things he lived.)

Depending on the relationship and duration of the sexual harm, subsequent relational trauma could affect their ability to connect with others and themselves. Their personality and behaviours might change markedly from what they were prior to the sexual abuse.

Literaly sa in childhood affect deeply and break normal brain development, knowing that the brain fully finish It's development around 25 years old.

Yashiro been raped by his step father for approximately two years starting from the age of ten, the longer the duration of abuse is associated with a greater impact on the child’s identity and the use of force or threat of force are associated with greater harm.

We know that his step dad that raped him violently and repeatedly for this period of time brainwashed Yashiro to think that he liked feeling pain, telling a literal child that dosen't even understand what's going on, that if he feel pain than he would get pregnant and if his mom find out she gonna be mad and abandon him.

It's important to point out that he was so young and clueless that he didn't even understand that it's imposible, but in the mind of a child, if an adult say something then it has to be true.

The manipulative nature of grooming that many sexual offenders use to get close to their victims can cause ongoing thought distortions, self-identity issues, relational harm and isolation of the child.

How horifying and disturbing to hear that for a child ? How much those words shaped the way of thinking and logic of the current Y ? How much of an impact those fucked words disturbed his way of thinking and helped him shape his facade that he lived with for 40 years ?

It's also importent to point out that Y been raped constantly trough puberty, when little child are raped there bodys dosen't react and the only things that they can feel is pain and distress ( things that Y felt at first), but when the body start to change trough puberty the body start to react on his own . A lot of rape victim that had an orgasm during their assault blame themself and feel guilty thinking like " I enjoyed it so I wanted it in a way". Stimuling a grown up person's genital conduct to orgasm, even if it's non consented, it's a mecanical response from the body that never mean that your enjoying or wanting what's hapening(no one was here to explain this to our poor Y).

Now imagine going trough violent and painfull rape while your body is changing and transforming, before you felt pain but now you feel pain but also a kind of "pleasure", imagine how disturbing and confusing it would be in the brain of a young teenager, without mentioning the very plausible conditioning forced by his step dad presumed words "you see you like it" the very famous "but your body says otherwise" that ensure Y in this fucked up way of thinking.

All of this play a huge place to how Y finish by thinking (in his brain that stopped functioning properly) that he enjoy the pain. If he enjoy the pain he would not get pregnant, his mom would not be mad and if he accept the pain than what's happening to him is not that bad anymore, if he make it part of his identity than it's not a trauma anymore it's not that big of a deal and that how he survived.

Yashiro spiraling in self destruction:

Adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse may experience sexual disturbance or dysfunction, depression and anxiety. Anxiety, fear and suicidal ideas and behaviour are more likely in instances where the perpetrator used force and threat of force. The age of onset of the abuse, duration and outcome is characteristic of higher trauma symptom levels. The longer the duration of abuse is associated with a greater impact on the child’s identity, and increased survival mechanisms and the use of force or threat of force are associated with greater harm.

Let's list some potential long-term effects of child sexual abuse:

Suicidal ideation: Y ✔ (Y is a passive suicidal he's not attached to death like he's not attached to life)

Post-traumatic stress: Y ✔

Sexual difficulties: Y ✔

Alcohol and substance misuse: Y ✔(cigarette for Y)

Inability to form healthy lasting relationships: Y ✔(this one is very important)

The development of violent behaviour: Y ✔

The development of criminal behaviour: Y ✔

Around the time where Y meet kage he did not see his step dad for 3 years and his mom for 1 (he's around 15 at the time) he is already depressed and fucked up, his all alone and his suffering severe self identity issues, spiraling in self loathing and self destruction by seeking very violent sex as a way to cope with the trauma that never been adressed.

I'll cut here cause it's getting to long see you in part 2.

[afeastfortuna]

5 Things the Book Did Better

With the end of Percy Jackson and the Olympians, here are five things I think the book did better than the show (To go with my 5 Things the Show Did Better)

1. Smelly Gabe

Most specifically the 'Smelly' part. In the book, Sally marries Gabe to hide Percy's scent. In the show, she marries Gabe because... reasons? It is a huge part of her character to kill her abuser ("I knew I was leaving her in safe hands; her own"), and end the cycle of abuse that she started out of love and a desire to stay close to her son. In the show, she protected her son from monsters by... sending him to boarding school? (even the logic the show has mostly been improving doesn't work as well on that one) It just leaves a lot of plot hole of why Gabe? And then in the final episode, it makes sense Sally isn't the one who kills him, because he hasn't been set up as the archetype abusive step-parent he was in the books, and maybe it was a little dark for a kids show, but it is a huge plot point in PJO of breaking the cycle of abuse, and actively making decisions to prevent that which Gabe accidentally killing himself just gets lost.

2. Charon

WHERE'S HIS ITALIAN SUITS? WHERE'S HIS BRIBABILITY? WHERE'S THE INOPPORTUNE MOMENT PERCY BLURTS "CHARON WANTS A PAY RISE" TO HADES?

I have feelings, okay, and those feelings want to see Charon in his full glory.

(But really, such a big part of what drew me to Percy Jackson as a kid was the fun, new interpretations of mythology adapting to the modern world, and characters like Charon were such a prime example of that I'm really sorry the show cut out on)

3. Humour (specifically past ep. 3)

Something about having narrator!Percy of the books was the constant lighthearted and funny (and confused) comments about everything. The show seemed to discard almost all the humour and jokes for plot halfway through episode 3, setting a much less lighthearted tone for the rest of the series.

4. The Show's Constant Explanations

I get it, it makes sense Sally might think it's a good idea to teach Percy some myths. That doesn't mean every little myth needs to be explained in excruciating detail. Just let the scenes play out, without spending ages talking about exactly what they are going to do and where exactly everything and everyone they meet fits into Greek Mythology first! There's simply no suspense for the audience when they spend five minutes talking through every little thing they do before they do it.

5. Cerberus

Whose a good doggo? Book Cerberus! He's just lonely, and wants someone to play with him! He doesn't need to chase and almost kill the trio in some big dramatic scene, he just wants to play with his ball.

[katyspersonal]

Top 5 Elden Ring's demigods

Argh... Could you've given me any HARDER top to make? :') No matter who I put below 5th place, I will feel like a huge prick @_@ Because they all deserve some praise, and some love. It is just incredibly good writing. Well, fine then, let's try.

Five - Morgott!

I talked about him already. The absolute tear-jerker character, a member of oppressed minority, that is defending the very corrupt system that deems people like HIM worthless.... He made me cry (/srs ) more than once upon just this sentiment. He is very realistic, and very easy to sympathise with and feel bad for. He certainly radiates a giant soft spot, though (and not JUST because he has dad bod that is completely naked under his robes, hahaha). In a weird way, he reminds me of Asg0re, a character from my other fandom - a big "monster" King who did a lot of bad things on his way, and because of his mental wound, but in the end might melt upon a simple hug or be easily convinced. It is just not what a Soulsborne game would've let us experience, but... honestly, he has not only huge muscles, but also a huge HEART. I love this combination a LOT, it pulls the richest spectrum of emotions.

Four - Malenia!

She is such a beautiful and impressive boss.... ...that I never talk about her. x) I can't quite explain how my focus works, sorry </3 She scares me a little - and it is not even her fault, but the thing that casually claimed her body, because superior deities have nothing better to do I guess :/ She is holding up very well for someone who has to live in a constant struggle with the horror plaguing her very being. And for someone having to hold up as a warrior of her dear brother's interests despite her body rotting as she goes. And having to repeat 'I am Malenia, blade of Miquella' like a mantra, since Rot is infamous to destroy the memories, and she must not forget what and who she is fighting for.

"She deserved better" is an understatement, I'd say. Her personality shines through the 'influence' that has been ruining her quite well, I'd say. She is a strong warrior, very determined, but very full of honor and love at the same time. I say this in every other post about strong Soulsborne characters, yeah. True bravery is not lack of fear but going despite fear, true power is not being callous unbreakable wall but to still hold your weapon firm through struggle and pain, true personality is what you ARE and not what you are 'not', etc etc. It is always about the feelings.

Three - Godwyn!

I could not explain why he made it to this place very well, honestly. First, he stroke my weird spider-sense intuition. I was going into Elden Ring mostly in blind, and still keep whatever I can to be revealed as I go! Thus, I did not know anything about Godwyn besides the fact that he was the golden child (metaphorically and literally) that went down as sacrifice during Night of the Black Knives as one having his soul killed. And that he used to be a lovely person. But one day, as I was playing Elden Ring and progressing casually, from nowhere, for no reason, I started to think of this character. Again, for no reason, I was thinking of the 'Deep Sea' and imagining him becoming a mermaid (?), and healing/truly dying/letting new soul grow/whatever by returning to the sea. I even started crying, and I swear, those emotions felt like they were not even mine.

It felt very random, but you can't even imagine my surprise when that same day, I just coincidentally travelled to THAT location, and found him. And, coincidentally, he was posed like this with a mermaid tail. I take weird 'intuition moments' (dreams or waking) very personally as I have many of them (and funny enough, they always have to do with the 'sea' theme). No matter how I feel about this character in the future, but the weird "foretelling", "intuition" bond fixed my attention, so yeah.

He seems like a very loveable person, though... From narration standpoint, it does make the most sense that he of all people had to suffer this way. It just would not have had the same effect if someone less likeable/innocent had to go down. It is... sad, how much of this character is his tragedy alone. But, he befriended a dragon and bridged the gap between conflicting forces, and from what I gathered losing him specifically was what broke Marika, and Mohg named his new dynasty after himself AND Godwyn. Clearly, the guy was the best thing to ever have been associated with the Golden Order, and manifesting everything good about it within his personality alone. Whenever I bash the Golden Order as inherently corrupt thing, I just always think back on Godwyn as a confirmed exception from the judgement. And, of course, he would have enough "kindness" to spread death as new form of existence... despite the fact that his 'true' self would've probably dreaded to manifest living in death of all things.

Two - Rykard

I talked about this guy since the day ONE I've picked even remote interest in Elden Ring, isn't it so? @_@ Well, I still stand by what I was talking about. Tanith is absolutely justified for being obsessed with this guy. He is like uh... Aldr1ch but executed much better, or rather, in more sympathetic light? I for one honor the narrative of a character who has the GUTS, the S P I N E to sacrifice a lot, their morals included, to just get OUT of the corrupt (!) way their world works. And I have a feeling that so does Miyazaki. x) I think it is a twisted sort of bravery that we are lucky to never experience and only perceive through fiction. But, unlike Aldr1ch, who revels in his corruption and the horrible things he has to do, Rykard, 1) has a loving family and 2) hinted to have or have had sympathetic traits and simply lost his way from.... heheh.... biting more than he could chew... xd heheh... :drum emoji because I am a comedy genius:

But, in either case, ya'll are lucky that the guy is happily married. Ya'll would not survive the intensity of my thirst otherwise. It is just my rule to not touch married characters. I still admire the guy though. Not to mention the fucking UNREAL AWESOME FUCKING DESIGN, one of the best I've seen ANYWHERE, and him having my favorite theme in entire Elden Ring. Like, it was legitimately hard to live down the crisis of him being "taken", because this guy is really loveable, both as a man and as a monster.

One - Ranni!

Honestly, I always liked the mysterious aura, the clairvoyance and the uhhh... I guess, machiavellianism of this character? "Ends justify the means" character who does some unforgivable things but believes there is no other choice, and the grander purpose is more important. But, she has so many layers. She stepped away from her mother's teachings yet still created a badass illusions to protect her and clearly loves her forever, she has trust issues but in the end needs true friends and true kindness (something even an idiot like Seluvis can see!).

You could see it hurt her to do all that, but whatever freedom could be was worth it. She is just a very complicated character, that goes above and beyond. Letting her own body be killed is badass but understandable, since her body was inextricably tied to the Golden Order, as an Empyrean. Letting her somewhat-brother who was a genuinely good and radiant and loveable person be killed? That's a bit... more drastic... And so on. Indeed, she IS like Rykard in how far she had to go, and how much she had to sacrifice, but nonetheless I uh... would not say she lost clarity of her mind like him? It is interesting how by Dante's Divine Comedy though, Herecy is associated with fire but only on 6th level, yet it is treachery that is considered to be THE sin of sins, and it is the lowest level, and associated with ice, like her element. I am thinking about this very often @_@"

-------------------------------------------

Honorable mention - Radahn!

Sorry, but I love the guy, despite lack of deep discussion (and becoming a mascot of the most toxic fans). This is ADORABLE that he learned Gravity Magic just so he could still ride Leonard. He appears to be such a goofy dumbass, wholesome person in the "wrong" way, opposing a character that is actually likeable and loyal to the things and people that arguably never deserved it?

But you know I am a huge fan of Rom Bloodb0rne, right? He gives off the exact same 'person that seizes and conceals the horrors of the cosmos from humanity, although their personality and intellect are gone' vibe. It is just... that same vibe of a "silly" character, the comic relief, that turns out to either face a tragic fate or reveals a much deeper personality. He is simple and complicated at the same time! And, well, him having been such a legendary and impressive warrior that so many people gathered just to give him honorable death. This is somewhat impressive. He was actually a very close tie with Malenia.

[ponds-of-ink]

A Nightmare Before Christmas (But FNAF) AU Poem: The Prologue

i have no idea why I forgot to post this much earlier, but here it is. Sorry about the.. *checks notes*… roughly four-or-five-month wait.

It is a bit rough now that I’m re-reading it, but I think this’ll still help explain what in the world went down before the main events of this AU.. Even though I might need to clarify that this is a tragedy involving this AU’s Springtrap that happened, like, years before then.

So, enjoy this little interpretation of Nightmare’s overture.

-

‘Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas

(At least two months or so away)

All the creatures were stirring

On Halloween Town’s important day

-

King Rattle-Trap led

With growls and with sneers—

His actions and words all said:

“This night must be the worst of all years!”

-

“Let the children shudder in their sleep!

Let their parents feel that looming dread!”

Then, after a quick glance ‘round, and a sigh most deep:

“Just make sure your nightmares don’t fill her head”

-

For, as his subjects went to and fro,

A little ghost followed behind

King Rattle-Trap’s daughter (around eight or so)

Offered to help her fellow monster-kind

-

As the danger was high while the night drew near,

All ignored her and moved on

Only her father told her, soft yet clear:

“No need to see you hurt right before dawn”

-

The daughter took this as a sign

To enter back into the house

She waited until all seemed fine

Then crept out in a special skirt and blouse

-

All the while, scares abounded

Both in town and all abroad

Every new ghoul was astounded

Every old beast did applaud

-

Then, what shock! Ah, what horror

Befell the town that night!

When Rattle-Trap, rapt in proud fervor,

Thought he could survive being set alight!

-

All fell to chaos mere seconds after

I dare not go into much detail

It may cause tears instead of dark laughter

(Though Rattle-Trap would derail if he ever could regale)

-

Many things were turned to ash

And the king and princess gone away

A few months after came Queen Flash

While Dr. Violet-Stein and his creation began their stay

-

The town of old is lost to time

New monsters take the old ones’ place

But that is for another rhyme

Not involving Rattle-Trap’s void-filled face

-

But wait. Perhaps I should explain

Where these creatures do reside

Allow me—if my rambles do not make you complain—

To start again and be more like a guide

-

This next story is better

—and simpler, I’m sure—

It starts with that same “‘Twas”

But what follows is more like a tour…

-

…And then cue the opening from the film. I’m not sure who narrates both this and the opening, but I do have ideas..

[juju-on-that-yeet]

At My Worst (Chapter 4)

Work Summary: Thanks to his enduring popularity in the fandom, The Author pops back into existence and the egos must suddenly contend with someone they thought was gone forever coming back from the dead. No one is more shocked than Dr. Iplier, who can’t help but remember how things used to be - and slowly fall back into bad habits, despite his better judgement.

Chapter Summary: The Host is still angry that The Author’s back, and The Author still wants to dissect the past. Dr. Iplier is set adrift between two hard places, and things are about to get much harder.

Read on AO3

Enjoy!

~

Dr. Iplier is more or less used to The Author’s presence in Ego Inc., he thinks. He’s still put on edge by every conversation between them, still afraid that Author might try bringing up the past and dredging through everything in their past, but it’s at least a familiar feeling by now. It no longer puts him so off balance, it’s no longer so difficult to brush off (though it still isn’t easy). The rest of the egos seem well used to him as well; he’s fully integrated into the friend groups of some egos, and the ones who don’t care for him as much have learned to live with him.

All, that is, but The Host.

Yes, Host has a reason not to like Author. Yes, Host is justified in being worried about Author’s presence in the building. Yes, Host is allowed to be annoyed and angry and frustrated that he has to share a living space with a walking reminder of all his worst traits and most terrible decisions.

However.

He does not have to make it the subject of so many of his conversations with Dr. Iplier.

Every time Dr. Iplier treats Author in the clinic or runs into him in the hall, Host seems to know about it, and always has to say something about it. Dr. Iplier is sure that some of that comes from his own behavior; spending time around Author does get him a bit rattled, and no doubt Host can sense that. But that can’t be all of it, Dr. Iplier isn’t convinced that Host isn’t doing some spying via narration. Honestly, Dr. Iplier wouldn’t even mind it if Host just kept it to himself. But he never seems able to, never seems willing to take Dr. Iplier at his oft-repeated word that Host has nothing to fear. Dr. Iplier loves Host, and he understands that Host loves him back, and that the root of his behavior truly is his love for Dr. Iplier. But The Author’s arrival has turned Host into a paranoid, territorial, angry person that Dr. Iplier hardly recognizes, and Dr. Iplier’s patience is starting to wear thin.

He goes to the library one day after treating Author at the clinic, hoping to see Host, hoping to enjoy his company while he has a free moment. He finds Host standing between bookshelves with a sour expression on his face, though, as has become typical.

“Before you say anything,” sighs Dr. Iplier as he walks up to him, “Yes, I just saw Author at the clinic. He got in a fight and needed some stitches. I gave him stitches, we chit-chatted, then he left. That’s all. Oh, come on,” he groans when Host only frowns deeper, “Don’t give me that face. Host…”

“I’m sorry,” Host sighs, shaking his head. “I just…you know how I feel.”

“I do. And I sympathize, but you don’t have to keep reminding me.”

Host is quiet for a moment. Dr. Iplier comes closer, close enough to reach out and hug him if he wanted. Host lifts his head to Dr. Iplier, as though he were looking him in the face.

“I’m still worried,” Host admits, “I can’t explain why, he’s been here a while already and nothing’s happened, so logically I shouldn’t, but I still am.” He reaches out a hand, cups Dr. Iplier’s cheek. “It’s Author I don’t trust, not you.”

“You keep saying that, and yet…” Dr. Iplier grumbles, but he doesn’t pull away from Host’s hand.

Host frowns at that, but not in the same way he did earlier, not so petulant and accusatory.

“I’m sorry, love,” he says, “I’ve said it already, but I am.”

“I know,” Dr. Iplier replies, lifting his own hand to cover Host’s. “But it gets exhausting.”

“I don’t like how unsettled I’ve been,” Host admits, “But I’m not sure how to stop feeling that way.”

“Maybe if you talked to Author once or twice, you’d realize you don’t have so much to fear.”

Host’s face scrunches up in displeasure, as though Dr. Iplier’s words were a lemon he’d just bitten into.

“I’d really rather not.”

Dr. Iplier chuckles, he can’t help it.

“I figured you’d say that,” he says, “But you can’t just feel like this forever. Author’s not going anywhere; he lives here now, he’s always going to be here, and I’m always going to interact with him when he’s hurt or sick. You’re gonna have to get used to him eventually.”

“I know,” Host sighs, “I’ll try my best to, truly.” He winds an arm around Dr. Iplier’s waist, pulls him closer. “And I ask for your continued patience while I do so.”

“Weeeeeeeell,” Dr. Iplier drawls, though he can’t suppress a smirk as he puts an arm around Host in turn. “I guess, if it’s for you, then I’ll keep being patient.”

“You’re a saint, truly,” Host snarks, grinning back.

Host moves his hand from Dr. Iplier’s cheek around to the back of his head, fingers curling into his hair, and pulls him in for a kiss. Dr. Iplier lets him, kissing back with a slight smile still on his lips.

It’s not the first time Dr. Iplier has had this conversation with The Host, not the first time Host has promised to change, and it turns out to not the last time, either. Dr. Iplier tries to be patient, tries to brush past it and ignore it when it happens. It continues to be a low-level annoyance that impacts every moment he spends with Host, continues to be another effect that The Author has on the building.

So far, it’s the only real negative one. Dark also doesn’t like Author, probably for similar reasons to the Host; Author’s a reminder of the one time Dark went too far, and he’s still better at wearing down Dark’s patience than any other ego has been. Google finds him annoying and probably wishes Chrome wasn’t friends with him. His powers and devil-may-care attitude make Eric nervous, but then, so much does. Other than these things and The Host’s persistent anger at Author’s presence, the building has been much the same with Author in it.

There’s also, however, the turbulent thoughts that go through Dr. Iplier’s mind whenever Author is around. Equal parts pleasant memories and terrible traumas, past history and present conflict. Maybe Host’s reaction to Author is making it worse, keeping those thoughts always at the front of Dr. Iplier’s mind. He doesn’t know for sure. But he can’t help but feel that things might come to a head sometime soon. In what way, he isn’t sure, but he turns out to be right, and thus finds out before long.

He goes to the library one day, for once not to see Host – though that would be a welcome side effect. Instead, he’s aiming to find a good book or two to occupy him after work for the next week. He knows the shelves well by now, and knows that the books he enjoys always tend to be in the shelves in the center of the room. The center of the library also holds Host’s writing desk and typewriter, and an armchair perfect for someone to sit nearby him as he writes. Dr. Iplier manages to find a couple good books on the way there, but decides to keep going to the center anyway. For all that Host has been cranky lately, Dr. Iplier still likes to see him, and there’s a decent chance he’ll be there.

Instead, however, Dr. Iplier finds The Author at the center of the library, sitting in the armchair, legs crossed and up on the desk nearby, writing something in his notebook. Author looks up at the sound of Dr. Iplier’s footsteps, and smiles when their eyes meet. Dr. Iplier, however, can’t help but feel trepidation.

“Hey, Doc,” Author says, “Fancy meeting you here.”

“What are you doing back here?” Dr. Iplier asks.

“Chilling,” Author replies, “Writing a bit. No peeking, though, it’s not finished yet.”

“Host wouldn’t like you being here,” Dr. Iplier says, “He especially wouldn’t like you putting your feet on his desk.”

“Aw, come on, Doc,” Author sighs, “Some of the books in here are mine, at the very least I should be able to hang out here.” He does remove his feet from the desk, but he stays sitting in the armchair.

“Author–” Dr. Iplier says, coming closer, half-looking around to make sure Host isn’t near.

“Doc, relax,” Author soothes, chuckling a little, “If Host was gonna chase me out he would’ve done it already. Either he’s not here or he doesn’t care.”

“He must not be here, then,” Dr. Iplier grumbles, “Host would absolutely care.”

“He’s still bent out of shape about me, huh?” Author sighs. “I try to avoid him, but I guess “out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t really work on him.”

“You’re trying to avoid him, yet you’re in his library sitting in his armchair?” Dr. Iplier asks. He’d normally say something like this with snark, but it comes out full of nerves instead.

“I can’t not come here, Doc,” Author says, a more serious note to his voice than he’s had so far. He sighs yet again, and closes his notebook to fully focus on Dr. Iplier. “You know me, words are in my blood. This place is everything I could’ve hoped for. This is…” His expression sours just a little. “This is what Dark promised me, if I cooperated. And now it belongs to someone else. Wilford got his studio, you got your clinic, I was supposed to get this.” He gestures around himself, towards all the shelves and countless books. “I can’t just stay away, no matter what Host thinks.”

Dr. Iplier can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. What Author said is true; back before Ego Inc. existed, Dark had to persuade all the egos to join him there, to gather everyone in one place where they could be hidden and safe – and under Dark’s supervision. It was a hard sell for everyone, so he promised to fulfill each person’s desires if they came willingly. Author was the last stubborn holdout, and by the time he finally acquiesced, Dark’s patience had already run dry…and then The Author was dead, and only The Host was left to inherit Author’s dream of a library. Ego Inc. has a magic to it that makes every one of Mark’s figments feel at home, and that magic is strongest in each ego’s favorite place. Author can likely still feel inside himself how this room was made for him, as his own safe space.

But it’s not his own safe space anymore, not while Host is here. Dr. Iplier is still worried that he could show up at any second, and Author can clearly tell.

“Geez, you’re still so worried about Host,” Author says, “Has he really been that angry about me?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?” Dr. Iplier says, “You just…you remind him of a lot of things he’d rather forget.”

Author wants to probe further, just like he always does, Dr. Iplier can see it in his face. He wants to dig into their shared history and lay everything out in the open. Usually, though, these moments happen in the clinic, and Dr. Iplier can brush past them by refocusing on Author’s treatment or ushering him out if his treatment is completed. Here, though, there’s no easy distraction. Dr. Iplier only just got here, so he can’t get away with pretending to have to leave. Author already doubts that Host will come by, so that’s not a good deterrent, either.

“What kinds of things?” Author asks, pointed. His eyes are piercing. “Like how Dark killed him, or like how we used to be together, or both?”

“Author…” Dr. Iplier begins, voice lowered in warning.

“Just asking,” Author mutters, looking away. “Just…feels like you complain about him a lot, lately.”

Dr. Iplier feels his cheeks heat up just a little. It’s the truth, but he didn’t notice until it was pointed out.

“I guess so,” he admits. Author seems unable to stifle a chuckle.

“Sorry,” he says in response to the look Dr. Iplier gives him, “Not trying to make fun of you. Things are going okay, though, right?”

“More or less,” Dr. Iplier sighs. He takes a step closer to the armchair Author’s sitting in. “He’s sorry for being so crabby, but that doesn’t seem to stop it…”

He trails off partly for lack of anything else to say, but partly because it occurs to him that it’s bad form as a boyfriend to complain about Host like this, especially to Author. But Author has a way of making Dr. Iplier into an open book, has a way of reading him just as well and getting every word he desires out of him. Even now, Dr. Iplier can’t seem to resist it.

“Sounds rough,” Author says, “And annoying. Is he like that all the time? Kinda sounds like it.”

“No,” Dr. Iplier mumbles, trying not to backpedal too obviously.

“Hm.” Author chews his lip for a moment. “Guess he still has a bit of me in him after all.”

“W-What?” Dr. Iplier sputters.

“Doing something that upsets you, apologizing, and then doing it again anyway.” He grins ruefully, but there’s regret in his tone. “I used to be real good at that. Not too surprising that Host still has that skill, I guess, but…you think he would’ve learned that by now, huh?”

“You’re one to talk,” Dr. Iplier snaps, a burst of anger going through him to hear Host be insulted.

“Yeah, but at least I figured it out,” Author counters, voice all-too-casual. “I remembered the lesson I learned from that, and I know that about myself. You think Host does? Or do you think he’d just get pissed at the thought of being anything like me?”

“Author, enough,” Dr. Iplier mutters, “I may not like hearing Host complain about you, but I like hearing you complain about Host even less.” Even if Author’s words are probably true.

“Sorry, sorry,” Author sighs. To his credit, he sounds genuinely remorseful. He thinks for a moment. “Guess we really are alike still. Even after everything I went through, everything he’s been through since…we’re still so similar.”

“Author, stop,” Dr. Iplier says, trying for a warning tone again but not quite managing it. There’s nothing to hide behind, now.

“Stop what? Remembering?” Author asks, challenging, voice taking on the slightest growl.

“Stop bringing it up,” Dr. Iplier says, unable to help taking the bait, unable to stop himself from saying the quiet part out loud. “What do you expect me to do when you say things like that? You can’t keep trying to rehash everything!”

Come on, Doc!” He stands up from his chair in his frustration. “We can’t keep dancing around this. It’s been a long time but it happened. We happened. We have to talk about it at some point!”

“How can we??” Dr. Iplier asks in return, just as volatile, “What is there to say? We did happen, but now we’re here.” Dr. Iplier looks away. The words he’s saying are unfamiliar, but the sound they make coming out of him reminds him of arguments with Author long past. He takes a breath, calms himself a little. “It’s over, Author.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Author says, words in a rush. He steps closer to Dr. Iplier, eyes glinting. “You loved me, and you love Host, and we’re the same. I’m still me.”

“Author…”

“You broke up with me, but you still cared, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended up with Host. We can still have something. We can still be something.”

Author reaches out, puts a hand on Dr. Iplier’s shoulder, warmer and stronger than Host’s hands. Maybe Dr. Iplier should shrug it away, but his head is still swimming with Author’s words.

“Edward,” Author says, quietly, urgently. “I’m in love with you. You know I still love you. Some part of you loves me too, it has to.”

“Author, I…”

“And Host has been such a pain in the ass lately, hasn’t he? You were just complaining about it. He can’t even appreciate you enough to be secure in the two of you.”

“You’re asking me to betray him?”

“But we’re the same!” Author grins, a little manic, a little sad. “He and I are two sides of the same coin. Do you want the angry one that keeps frustrating you, or the kind one you’ve had so many nice moments with, not just recently but years ago?”

“Author, this is insane,” Dr. Iplier gasps. He knew deep down Author still cared, but how could he have expected this? His hands are white-knuckle tight around his books. The part of his heart that remembers the good times doesn’t want to hurt Author, but the part of his brain that understands the reality of things wants to end this now.

“Say my name, at least,” Author murmurs, almost begs. “If you’re going to say no, use my real name.”

Dr. Iplier swallows. Author is so close. His eyes are still so piercing.

“I’m – I –”

Author waits, but Dr. Iplier can’t say a word. Once he realizes nothing is coming, Author sighs, the deepest one he’s made yet, and smiles sadly.

“That’s okay,” he says, voice quiet.

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Iplier whispers. Part of him wants to apologize further, part of him doesn’t think he should be apologizing at all. No one’s ever been as good as putting him at odds with himself as Author.

For his part, Author takes a moment to fully calm. His hand is still on Dr. Iplier’s shoulder, he’s still so terribly close, but Dr. Iplier still can’t bring himself to pull away.

“No, I’m sorry,” Author murmurs. “That was…a lot. I shouldn’t have put all that on you. I don’t…I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He sounds so raw and his words are so honest that Dr. Iplier is taken aback. The Author in his memory would never admit fault so fully.

“It’s okay,” he finds himself saying. “But you already know what my answer is. And we can’t talk about this again.”

“You’re right,” Author says, “And we won’t, I promise. Whatever happens, just…” He takes in a breath. “Remember that I do care about you, alright?”

Before Dr. Iplier can respond, Author leans forward, kisses his cheek, and walks away, disappearing through the library shelves.

Dr. Iplier is left frozen.

He knows he shouldn’t be. He should be incensed, he should be marching after Author to chew him out, or at least storming off in anger. He shouldn’t be stunned still at how much like memory that kiss was. He shouldn’t have the feeling of Author’s lips on his cheek still, warm and smooth, not chapped like Host’s. Just a little more forceful than a typical peck, the way Author’s kisses always were when given in a hurry. He shouldn’t have a hand halfway to his cheek to touch the place where Author’s lips were. He shouldn’t be running the moment through his mind over and over again if he’s not going to imagine shoving Author away right after. He shouldn’t have bright red cheeks.

He shouldn’t, but he does.

He shouldn’t, but he is.

He has no idea what to do.

Logic says he can’t keep this to himself. It doesn’t rise to the level of getting Dark to intervene, but someone has to know that Author did this. That he professed his love for and kissed Dr. Iplier. But the only person it makes sense to tell, the only person who would truly care to know, is Host. And Dr. Iplier should tell Host, he knows he should. But he already knows what would happen: Host would throw a fit, go into a rage, maybe even go after Author or do something else unwise. Dr. Iplier would never hear the end of it. And that’s just the start, that’s just if he could retell the event without letting on how it’s making him feel, without acknowledging the memories getting caught in his chest from not just the kiss, but the whole conversation before it. How the hell could Dr. Iplier ever play it off? He could never explain this to Host in a way that would satisfy him.

So Dr. Iplier ultimately decides not to tell him at all.

Choice made, he finally manages to uproot himself and hurry out of the library, books still clutched to his chest. He tries to read one when he reaches his room, but the words swim away when he tries to focus on them. He can think of nothing but Author and of that kiss and of the sinking feeling deep in his gut.

[rise-my-angel]

You're actually spot on with bow criticism is supposed to work. It's the bare minimum rule for critiquing art and all too many people forget it: judge the work you're consuming on it's own terms.

You can't show up to a kids cartoon and complain that it's not mature enough. You can't be a woman, consume a media targetted at males, and then complain when said media doesn't cater to you. And you can't show up to a TV show and judge it for not being entirely book accurate, because what works for books, isn't going to entirely work for the TV screen.

Not to bring up fandom trauma's but it's exactly why the TLOU TV show worked so well in comparison to other video game adaptations. Because the writers understood that what worked for a video game wasn't going to work for TV audiences.

Then there is the very basic fact that one isn't going to get an exact copy of the character from the material you're adapting from. Because they're fictional. Again, TLOU comparison, Bella Ramsey may not look ecactly like Ellie, but she certainly gets the acting right, and that's what the show writers needed to focus on.

The same for Jon Snow. Kit may not look exactly like book Jon, but he fits the criteria they needed for him. IE: they needed an older actor (because ain't no fucking way are they pushing child actors to do some of the things listed in the books), and they needed someone who could convey enough of the characters inner thoughts and feelings without exposition. Kit does that. Like his expressions are amazing.

Sorry for going off in your inbox, but this is something about media literacy that's been driving me up the wall lately. This idea that someone gets so upset about not getting exactly what they want and going "i don't like it" expecting the CREATORS to read their minds and know exactly how to change it, bending themselves and their media backwards to do so. Like I'm sorry, this isn't a made to order service. If you don't like it, watch something else or deal with it. Cuz it's not feedback. They've had their feedback in the creative process, and this is the end product. If they can't cater to you, you're not their audience and you're gonna have to find your niche somewhere else. Like in this case: read the books again.

I am a firm believer in giving an adaptation a chance to be it's own thing. Adaptations have never been replicas of the book and they never will, because it is a poor translation. Especially with the characters.

Show characters have to be different, because we cannot see inside their heads. There is no semi omniscient third party narrator telling us what they think, the actor has to convey that alone, often without words. Meaning a characters journey might be different in the show, because without that internal dialogue, following the books development might not translate well.

Also, characters take on a life of their own in adaptations. An actor brings a uniqueness to that character that didn't exist before, and sometimes going in a different direction works because their version no longer suits the strict book version. And when the characters become different, sometimes certain events will play out differently too, and their development will go on a seperate path.

Adaptation should never be one for one. It should be it's own unique thing. Why should I get invested watching exactly what I already imagined in my head reading the books? Give me more to chew on thats not just copy and pasting verbaitum. And judging those changes should never be on the basis of "not in the books". That is such a poor criticism that does not stand up to scrutiny.

Explain to me why the books version is better, and why the show version is bad without using your feelings to describe how much you hated it. Your feelings do not make a piece of media bad, but explaining the issues the story had will help me understand why you feel the way you feel. I don't care if you're mad. I care what about the show's changes made you mad and why.

Your example of The Last of Us is a perfect example. It isn't the same as the game. It's different, and you can tell where it's different and why. But, it puts in the work to justify those changes so that you can be immersed in the world separate of the game. Not all of them work, but they don't have too. Most changes work and that outweighs it's flaws.

Because at the end of the day, it felt like the game. You could watch the show and get the same feeling from it by the end that the game had and all of the complaining about little details didn't contribute to the overall story being told. Hell, they changed the entire story with Bill so much it's quite literally an original plot line and it's universally seen as the show's best episode. Those changes aren't faithful to the game, but in the story it's telling, they justify those changes and writes the plotline to fit in this story seamlessly.

Book purists complain a LOT that Jon Snow's internal feelings about Robb are different then in the books, but really, it doesn't matter. All that matters, is a small part of Jons overall arc is not the same. Jon is a different character in the show then the books, but when I read the books, I don't feel like book Jon is a stranger to show Jon. They are two different interpretations of this character, and those changes made to him in the show justify themselves by writing Jon to be who he is.

Jons also older in the show, meaning he starts his journey at a much more mature age. Book Jon is fourteen, impulsive, quick to anger, and still has some emotional maturity to do in regards to how he sees himself compared to Robb. Jon in the books tells Benjen how much better at things he is then Robb. Show Jon tells Sam how much better Robb was at everything then him.

But they aren't comparable. The first is book Jon at the very start of the story before anything bad has happened. Show Jon's scene happens years into the story after learning Robb was murdered. How he sees Robb is not comparable here. These scenarios are so drastically different that by complaining how the shows version is bad because its not the same, you're just upset you didn't get what you wanted.

Engage with the media you are watching. Let it stand on it's own two feet, and if it doesn't, then we get to go in, ask why, and compare it to the books to see why that worked and what the show could've done instead of the path they took. But it is not a failing in the show, if you don't like that it's different then the books.

Honestly, anyone feeling that way? You genuinely have to just get over it. That is such a poor way to look at media, and you are unwilling to let an adaptation be it's own story. Adaptations already live in the shadow of it's source material, it does not need purists who prefer the original poisoning the well by complaining that the changes are bad because it changed things you liked.

I can think of many reasons why a show's version of a character is worse then the books, but none of those reasons are "Well in the books she's this, this and this." No. I critique them based off of what is in front of me without just being mad they aren't identical. Then use the book as an example of how this character could've worked, and thus the changes weren't justified in this case. But my first stop is not, "the book says".

You can have a preference, but you are not doing media analysis or criticism any favours by complaining that the adaptation changed things and you personally don't like it therefore it's bad. A lot of book pursists say that Game of Thrones was always bad. But it wasn't. The first four and a halfish seasons of that show were some of the best in any recent television. You personally not liking it over the books is not the shows problem, or mine. It's yours.

Those posts get very popular, stating why the show ruined something from the book. But, it didn't. The book still exists, nothing was ruined. The show failed it's own characters in the end, but that has nothing to do with the books at that point. Thats a writing issue for the show runners, not the adaptation itself.

The show and it's characters get a lot of shit to this day, but really, get over it. It's over, everyone memed on it for years, and now you're just kicking it while it's still down by complaining about your own personal gripes as if those are objective criticisms worth being taken seriously.

Have and say your opnions, but your opinons are not objective and I'm tried of adaptations being given no chance to stand on it's own, because its constantly being yelled at for being different. If I want to read the story the book is telling, I'll read the book. If I want to see the story the show is telling, I'll watch the show.

I use the books to elaborate on the show and to explain why certain things didn't work, but I've never stood on my high horse and bitched that it sucks because this wasn't in the books.

It's just a childish way to pretend you're engaging in fair media criticism.

[faunastanza]

Circlet of the Sun pt. 3

(part 2) (part 4)

Sila and Papaya go back and forth about the script some more, with Papaya repeatedly saying how much she loathes Sila but never says it to her face. They does have a funny line about how she makes an expression that doesn't make sense though.

there's an emoticon for this somewhere

The impression throughout all this ranting is that Sila likes dramatic anime-like fight scenes for her Mary Sue. Doesn't seem like a crime to me but I guess I wasn't there. She is mocked for it. More direct parallels are drawn between Glip's abusive real life dad and the real life gun he threatened his family with and this person on the internet who wrote bad stories and hurt people's feelings.

After a bunch of that, we cut back to Papaya and a new character, Jaxi, at the shop. Jaxi is a stand-in for one of Glip's real life partners Axi, I'm pretty sure. Anyway, Jaxi says that Sila came to them the next day and told them about what happened, and that Papaya really scared her when she yelled at her. They say that, knowing Glip, scaring her would have been intentional. They say Glip shouldn't be so mean to someone who's doing their best and trying to help. Glip doesn't remember yelling or why. Hey, guess what train of logic shows up again! Guess! GO ON! GUESS!!!

sure have trouble remembering when i yell at people for some reason

Papaya says she feels ashamed and starts to explain (crossed out) BLAME herself. She says she should have known better and shouldn't have yelled and just explained it calmly for the tenth time but instead she yelled. "I'm so tired of everyone being scared of me," she says. Gee, I wonder why that would be? Maybe this whole VN is a reason. Jaxi says that Sila is really scared of her and they can't think of a reason now to tell her why she shouldn't be.

We cut back to Tox and her two minions. Inkcat is called Vacuumania which makes me think of a fetish site more than a character name but hey. Toxinuate throws a pity party about how her two friends, Obverse and Vacuumania, tell her everything she does wrong and that makes her get better at things, which is a theme that came up when Tox was first introduced. This whole scene has very weird vibes since it seems like Glip is aiming this at Jaxi, their real life partner, who was talking to them completely reasonably a second ago. I don't know man. It's weird, that's what I'm saying.

i'm not talking about you, jaxi! (or am i)

Tox keeps rambling her big irritating pity party to herself about how she can't have boundaries and does everything wrong and everyone hates her yada yada we've all heard this before. It's also implied at one point that Tox should accept every kind of story/medicine people want to inflict on her, so I guess we're back to kinkshaming lol.

It goes on to touch on being cancelled again and how people blame Tox for things it totally didn't do. I'd remind you that Tox is another self-insert of Glip's but at this point you might as well assume that's a given.

step on me more plz (just kidding) (or am i)

Scissors and Inkcat, sorry, Obverse and Vacuumania actually tell her to shut up at one point which is pretty funny though.

thank you

There's some more of Selfish-Harm being a strawman villain then out of nowhere this hilarious thing.

lol what

There's a whole bunch more yelling and Selfish-Harm being evil and Selfish-Harm stabs Papaya repeatedly with very deliberate rape imagery, which is weird. She tries to explain but Selfish-Harm never listens, so she thinks of a way to make them listen.

Papaya shifts into Lily! Hey, Lily! One of the actual characters! I'm shocked. There's a bunch of rambling in the corners about Lily panicking about how she's put into a role that doesn't fit and she can't remember who she was because she keeps getting killed in someone's mind so she can never grow, because they don't know her. She'd never like someone as pathetic as you! The narration says. "You're Sylvan! You kill her in your mind! You're the one who restarts the universe everytime!"

What does it mean? It means Sila likes Lily the wrong way and writes stories about her dying, basically.

Anyway, Lily holds a baby Jupet in her hand. She says that Jupet is small, but they're a nekopossum, so that'd be why. That'd explain the fairy circle in their room as well! It does imply that maybe Lily had other children in other frequencies but who cares at this point.

hachacha

TAL's been using a laser to collect data and heal. Lily is scared of it, but it helps her. It takes away her pain and creates the wall out of the inability to feel pain. This is the quarantine line, it says. The quarantine line for paranoia! What does it mean. Someone says that you've lost the Heaven's Keys, and that Clear Watching is an underground prison on one of the Keys.

Glip and Lily go into the Keys. Glip says they found an anomaly, and we get a shot of Jupet with an X over their head. No one remembered them, they became a child of the story, never to have been, it says (what). There's then an odd panel with someone rambling, Glip I think, saying you're a terrifying person and that writing about their own character in their own story fills them with dread, so they're going to kill her off for good. I assume this is about Sila. Glip throws Lily into Clear Watching, WHERE ANGELS GO TO DIE.

Anyway, we have a frequency shift from Andre to Sample, because great, whatever that means, and cut to Amdusias pony, now named Sinpony. Beleth is talking to her, but they have a new form now with a diamond over their eye. Another AU form of Beleth. Sigh.

Beleth thinks about how they're so cool and that they can beat anyone up with their three favorite toys. They call them and Tox, Obverse, and Vacuumania show up, baffled. Sila is there again, saying Sinpony belongs to her, and Beleth squares off to fight.

We then get a card saying it's the end of part one and Papaya never wrote the second part because Sila attacked her. It's a poor workman that blames their tools, you know.

:3c

We go to Callclout writhing in pain from Bugsy's rule, yada yada. They try to figure out a way to get out from under it. There's another childish "this is you!" moment with Glip introducing another new dumb angel, Socketpuppet.

wait i'm missing a thumb

As you might guess, Socketpuppet puts on puppets of other characters and pretends to be them. Socketpuppet pretends to be Papaya for a while and I'm not really sure who's talking. Of note though is that Glip again gets defensive about people hating on Call-Clout and says they'll kill off Lily and Neon if it continues. okay.

how to respond to criticism

The voice, Glip I assume, declares Rule Zero, that you (Sila I assume) can never talk to them or their friends again. I don't know why they think Sila would at this point, it sounds like it'd be the last thing on her mind. But hey.

They then explicitly blackmail Sila, saying that if Sila talks about Glip to anyone or has any bad feelings about anything in this VN, they'll kill off Lily and Neon (maybe Jupet too). They get really defensive about Call-Clout again which is hilarious to me. Call-Clout, of all characters. Imagine being defensive of a character called Call-Clout IN a call-out you wrote!! it's kind of amazing.

i'm the hero!! glip says, like all the villains say, but it's different when they do it

It then says Hostage Taker, Selfish Hurt, so maybe Selfish-Hurt is threatening this to... who? Themselves? Someone else by pretending to be Glip? I don't know. Maybe they're blaming Selfish-Hurt for making them take hostages? This is a mess.

Hilariously, Glip then says that Sila made them realize that callouts are a useful tool, but they didn't want to do one. :( They just wanted to write a story about what it felt like for Sila to be a horrible creep! Look what you've made them do! This is your fault!! They say they're recovering just fine without Sila, as the VN clearly shows. No issues here.

We get a bit more clarity now with a goop like sort of Glip being confirming that they are the ones holding Lily and Neon hostage, and that if they die everyone will know it was Sila's fault and know she's a pervert who gets off on killing loving mothers. If they keep quiet then maybe Glip will keep them alive, or maybe not.

conflict resolution, by glip

Glip yells at Sila some more, then gets mad at them for driving them to do this. Sila cares more about jerking the characters around than how it hurts Glip so much when she does that! :( Glip says that this actually made them stop caring about Lily and Neon, because caring about them turned into endless suffering for Glip. I wonder if this could have been avoided if they just banned Sila when they suggested a script that creeped them out in the first place. Just spitballing though. "Who cares, it's just a comic" they say. Who cares indeed.

Glip says Sila radiates violent and murderous feelings and thinks that Sila would physically attack them if they met in real life. You're a dangerous person, Glip says, sorry you had to hear it from me. :( So they say they'll just kill Lily and Neon off right now. I mean, I guess it's not like Glip was even doing anything with them at this point, is it so much of a loss?

Just in case you were wondering, Glip then takes an opportunity to tell you how much they enjoyed writing this callout and screaming at this rando for hours. Callouts are great and cathartic! I guess people get their kicks in all sorts of ways.

call outs are great! not when they're about me though

Papaya laughs, saying that it's just a story. "Stories with no basis in reality don't matter", it says, although then it crosses "don't matter" out and replaces it with "creates that reality".

As threatened, we return to Lily and Neon. Neon says that something's been bothering her. Lily asks her what it is, while narration says THIS IS THE SCHOOLYARD DISEASE, THIS IS WHAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR. Spite, apparently. Actually that adds up.

Neon says that she's really scared of Lily, that entering this chamber with her and trying to teach her about what's going on is terrifying because she knows she looks like a traitor. Lily breaks, again, finally, whatever that means. Everyone in this comic is breaking constantly. Anyway, she doesn't know why Neon would talk about being a traitor, like she's forgotten that Neon told her exactly why. To be fair that was a pretty long time ago.

Lily wonders if Neon really feels bad about it or if it's just paranoia. Not sure how those two things are different. Why was she joking about something so serious? she wonders. Neon is a stranger, right? It gets crossed out and replaced with danger.

Neon says that this is what she's talking about, when she says again and again that she doesn't want Lily to kill her and Lily doesn't respond. Neon says she's had nightmares for years about Lily killing her (with beholding sirens involved somehow presumably) and that Lily acts like that never happened and just makes jokes and makes Neon feel good, and it doesn't add up to Neon. Neon can't tell if she's paranoid or if Lily is hiding how much she wants to kill her.

looks a bit like a rabbit

"I can feel it again, the way you hide your violent thoughts," Neon says. "You can't get mad or you'll snap and kill me, because Jupet's gone and I caused it." Not sure if this is due to the Jupet going into Beleth thing or Lily getting stuck on the wrong frequency. Neon says she can finally feel Lily's malice. She doesn't know what to do other than try to fix it, and says she'd try to fix it even if Lily wasn't here and Jupet wasn't gone, and she apologizes.

The Schoolyard Disease starts trying to take root in Lily's heart, where it would bring them full circle and begin them anew. But something about Neon said sticks with her. Had she said something new?

Lily feels ashamed of herself. She didn't think Neon would notice all of her violent negative feelings, but she did because she was scared and quiet and loving. I'll just have to take Lily's word for it. Neon noticed Lily leaking violence and hostility and somehow managed to apologize for it. That phrasing is a bit weird I think.

look into my eyes

Lily connects to the feelings she'd been lying to herself about. She'd almost scared Neon to death! This should be in its own separate VN, why it's tacked onto this rant is beyond me. No wait, it's because this scene is written out of spite, that's right.

Lily says that she's tried to kill Sylvan a hundred thousand times, but he can't die. He always comes back to life because he's a necropossum. This explains that mention of coming back to life so long ago with Jupet. Lily then says she can also never die, he can never kill her and she can never kill him. She describes it like she dies, then decides she just didn't die and ends up back here, and then takes it out on Neon. Neon also always comes back. "Are we monsters?" Lily wonders. I have to say, finding out that Lily and Neon are trapped in an endless cycle of death, murder, and rebirth with each other has made their relationship way more interesting. Oh no I'm part of the problem!!

Abruptly, they're back in the Amdusias pony form. Lily wants to say she'd never murder Neon, but she's not entirely sure that's true. She misses Jupet terribly. Lily says that she's not scared of not recognizing Jupet when she sees them again, but of them not recognizing her. She says she knows she wasn't a good mother sometimes, and wonders if that's what factored into them leaving.

She wasn't trying to blame Neon for her feelings about what Sylvan did to Jupet (will we ever find out?), and tells Neon that it's not her fault that all this happened. She's ashamed she hurt her and isn't sure what possessed her to do that.

Anyway, Sinpony collapses on the ground next to white Beleth, we're back at the end of... Schoolyard Disease? Is that the VN I'm thinking of? Anyway, Sinpony feels three other consciousnesses leave it or be forgotten. There's an odd bit about wishing for the universe to take her identity and leaving her with a life of malice for her and her child.

lily?

Not sure what to make of that. Sinpony talks to Beleth like they're her child but doesn't know why. This freaks Beleth out a bit. They say Beleth's memory isn't all there and they shouldn't play dumb, asking why they're playing the same tricks as their father ("may i remind you what a horrible monster he is?"). They weren't always a doll and they can't keep this charade up, Sinpony says.

Beleth breaks (everyone breaks!) and realizes that they don't have a childhood or a past and that maybe something's controlling them. They realize their body is indestructible and that's boring and wonder what death is like, then flip out at Sinpony and threaten to kill them for "touching her memory." Sinpony is terrified and has no idea what they're talking about. Unable to tell Beleth that they just want to see their child again, they pass out.

Anyway we cut back to CC. Sadly they seem to have escaped Bugsy's rule thanks to their "forcesight" to do a bunch of redacted things. They say that the paranoia on Neon had incubated and turned into Socketpuppet because of Beleth. Or Bugsy. Fine, whatever.

i'm the good guy

It does say that CC tried to protect Lily/Neon/Chip from getting their identities eaten, which doesn't really match what we were shown in that VN at all. CC then says she has to deliver a mask to its recipient because they've solved an instance of Schoolyard Disease by predicting what hurt to do in advance! Oh man, remember that?? I actually had to go back and reread it because it was already barely explained to begin with. I think solving an instance of Schoolyard Disease has now told them who they need to deliver the mask to.

Call-Clout remembers that this is where Median isn't saved, because Beleth is busy arguing with Sinpony over there. Beating a dead horse, am I right! Anyway Andre said a long time ago that without Median the plague spreads out of control and everyone dies. Oops! Srinivasa says they hate this world as much as they love it, and that they don't even feel real anymore, just a thing being manipulated by their mask. Stardrop warned you about this.

Call-Clout wants to take off the mask and just exist, but it'll look like the Unmasked Sun (Glip) and no one will help them then. So unfair. :( CC says the shift is inevitable and that they've lost this round and three identities. CC has a big hole in their chest and Socketpuppet shows up and eyes it. CC bleeding out summons an ENCORE (but wasn't Encore already here...?)

Encore shows up and says they can take the hole away from CC's chest, although CC is too weak to say anything with Socketpuppet nearby. It has a thorny ring looped into it like a keyring.

i guess you can call for multiple encores

CC says they're not good and are tired of playing the villain. Encore says they'll do it instead and they'll give them what they deserve, a fair trial. CC laughs at the idea, asking Encore where they were when they got blamed for the plague and exiled back in the Masked Sun VN. Socketpuppet lols in the background and again sizes up the hole in CC's chest.

CC calls them an idiot, resonating with "the entire cycle Socketpuppet had completed", and the hole in their chest congeals and becomes a Circlet of the Sun. Title drop! After all this time what is it?? What's the circlet of the sun??? What is it???

It's just the receipts of what Sila did.

the secret of this callout is... that it's a callout

Anyway CC rambles on disjointedly about exaggerating feelings and some talk of suicide and Sila assaulting her brother or mom or something, I can't keep track of this since it's not explained and I don't care. This is already so long and we're so close to the end...! CC goes on to describe malice and I thought maybe Glip was describing themselves but I think it's supposed to be directed at Sila. Not sure how I could've mixed that up!

got a face made of taffy

There's also a "diagram" that looks a lot like a uterus.

and some fallopian tubes i suppose

Anyway out of nowhere, Ms. Warmheart appears again. CC asks her to help them by yelling at CC as if she's yelling at Socketpuppet. Warmheart is peeved and says that CC already has a "little doll" in back to play with, and says that this is why CC got into this mess in the first place, their little experiments. Anyway CC and Warmheart and Socketpuppet argue and it's boring and doesn't make a lot of sense. Malice gets brought up again. Warmheart does say that CC is some kind of abomination that holds multiple souls and identities within themselves though.

She also mentions razing the land again! I remember that getting mentioned before. It's not explained any more here than it was back then.

burn it all to the ground

CC pulls out the mask they were supposed to deliver, saying it's time to eat it. Socketpuppet demands it but CC gives it to Warmheart instead, although she seems pretty hesitant about the whole thing. Encore meanwhile makes a big circlet portal and goes through it, figuring everyone else can handle it on their own. They wonder what they'll do when this frequency is completely drained of magic. They shrug and say it's just the natural consequence of trying to solve a problem by lying to yourself.

Mr. 5 meanwhile is covered with worthworms while everyone else is doing other things. What'll he do now, the narration wonders? Die, hopefully. Encore keeps going down a hole and Glip brings up being cancelled again out of nowhere.

this red circle is about to charge

Encore, looking sillier and sillier as they go, yells at Sila again. I thought at first they were yelling at themselves sarcastically but now I think it's genuine yelling at Sila? It's weird how the same accusations seem to fit between the two of them. Probably a coincidence.

/srs or /j? /srs or /j?????

There's more yelling at Sila, along with accusations of trying to kill herself to make Glip feel bad. It goes on and on for a while and then Glip's like "let me make it a violent cartoon, you like those!" and Bugsy shows up again. Bugsy likes punching things but sometimes feels bad about it and doesn't know why. What could it mean? At one point Bugsy holds up a list of all the people Glip's ever hurt and says they'll hold Glip accountable for it if Glip hurts them like they've ever hurt anyone ever. Just in case it's too subtle, Glip's name is scribbled out.

Bugsy wearing a fetching bra

There's more yelling at Sila. Glip/Encore says that when Bugsy acts like their bad feelings are reality, it erases theirs. They then say that that's fine, let's talk more about Bugsy's feelings. Let's make sure the rest of the story is agreeing with Bugsy! Let's see what happens, Glip says.

We go back to Clear Watching, WHERE ANGELS GO TO DIE. There are two new inmates in the cell of the prison (the channel on the discord, remember), Lily and Neon. No one ever escapes Clear Watching, where angels are held against their will for as long as the judge deems appropriate.

Glip appears and mocks them for being stupid enough to have their identities stolen/raped, especially by Bugsy of all people. Lily and Neon look on and while we saw Glip in a disguise, they see Encore as Encore. They say they've seen this creature in their dreams, overlooking every instance of Schoolyard Disease. Let's do it all again, let's see the tragedy from the top! Encore says. That does fit with what we know about Schoolyard Disease, to be fair.

The narration scolds Lily for not being a good mom, saying that Jupet is off hurting people all the time, with no idea how their mere presence brings plagues into existence. Jupet's getting hurt because they were never told that hurting others was bad, since Lily herself is good at hurting others. Lily feels bad and decides to swear off violence.

Since Lily can't die, there were never any consequences for killing others, so she just got used to it. Lily is upset, telling herself that killing shouldn't be normal, but it's become normal to her. Lily can't tell Jupet that what they're doing is wrong because she can't connect with Jupet's feelings without infecting them with an unnatural bloodlust, and leaves the feelings that Jupet picks up on anyway unexplained. While this is going on Lily is turning into a worm for some reason.

a furry slinky

Lily tries to understand what's happening to her as a constellation (Stardrops rule about reading stars?) appears on her. She must have stolen someone else's identity, she wonders, because why else would someone be stealing hers? It must be her fault and she deserves this, she reasons. She becomes a full furry slinky called Salivent, the cyclic solvent, swearing that she'll solve this problem if it's the last thing she does. Don't know why the saliva theme with her.

Some scribbles yell about victim blaming. I have no idea who they're supposed to be. Glip I assume.

odd equivalence i think

On closer inspection I THINK it's supposed to be Lily talking about being raped and Encore talking over her, but again I'm not sure. Encore goes on with more victim blaming and then says this is boring. Lily screams how this can be boring, and Encore says she's seen this hundreds of times. Lily swears off violence and then kills Neon again. Lily insists that she's changed and isn't like that anymore, and Encore says oh, like all those other times you said you wouldn't kill her? And Lily stays quiet.

Lilyworm writhes in her cell about how no one believes she's changed even though she says she has and how unfair that is. It's disgusting that Lilyworm thinks its intentions matter, someone says, no one cares. The "acid" escapes Lilyworm's throat and she says "why don't you like me" which isn't what she meant to say, and it gets rewritten to "why don't you believe me".

Neon has now merged with Obverse for whatever reason, asking why Lily would think she doesn't like them. Maybe it's because she doesn't like her. I'm not making a joke, that's what it says. It's implied by font though that it might be Obverse saying it and not her.

simple enough

Lilyworm screams "why won't you believe me" while Obverseneon says she does... believe she likes hurting her! Oh! Got you good!! It actually might be Obverse saying that though. They go on to say that they believe they don't like Lily, while what I think is Neon says that she does believe her. There's a bunch of rambling about Obverseneon believing Lily hates her and such and she's scared.

Obverseneon, with the subtitle Obnoxiously Oblivious, gets to a chalkboard to explain how she's wrong. There are more faux mathematics as we AGAIN go to the same theme, where Obverseneon thinks that she must not have been expressing her love for Lily correctly if Lily had to ask in the first place, so the blame is on her. She reasons that Lily is asking because she hasn't actually changed, otherwise she wouldn't ask. Whatever.

Obverseneon laughs about how funny this all is and how they could ever expect Lilyworm to change. "We're just feelings machines" she says, "none of this is real and never has been". Lilyworm also has a stupid face, kind of looks like a playground kiddy ride.

or an indie horror game villain

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Peanut butter sandwich

Word count: 1524

Genre: Fluffy angst

Pairing: Natasha x gn!reader

Warnings: None (let me know if I need to add any)

Request: natasha coming home from a hard mission to find r preparing a peanut butter sandwich for her. she breaks into tears from the nice gesture and r comforts her with food and a big hug. idk i just love soft nat things

Summary: When Natasha comes home from a bad mission you are there to comfort her.

A/n: Ngl I forgot about this request (sorry anon) but it's amazing so as soon as I saw it again I immediately wrote it bc I also love soft nat things. I hope you all are doing well and looking forward to the fact that I'm going to try to post a fic a day for the rest of winter break at least since there's not much to do anyways. I hope you all enjoy and don't forget that requests are always open!

It had been midnight when you were woken up by a call from Steve saying Natasha had returned from her mission. At first you had been confused because usually after a mission Natasha will just slip into bed beside you and you won’t find out until you morning but Steve had quickly explained that while he didn’t know full details something had gone wrong and Natasha was upset. So now you were standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night making a peanut butter sandwich and waiting for Natasha to come home.

You aren’t sure why she likes peanut butter sandwiches so much, you prefer if they have jelly or banana added in but for some reason they are Natasha’s comfort food for whenever she is feeling upset. You’re curious about what happened on the mission but you know you probably won’t find out until the morning. Your main focus when Natasha walks in the door should be making sure she is okay. Besides, even if Natasha did feel like talking about it she isn’t the most reliable narrator when she thinks something is her fault and you trust Fury to tell the story in a more neutral way.

When Natasha walks in the door at precisely 12:23 you immediately can see why Steve felt the need to call you. She doesn’t look injured and to anyone who didn’t know her as well as you did it would look as though everything is fine. But you can see the way her shoulders are slumped and how her steps aren’t as careful and silent as they usually are. And when she looks up in surprise at the light being on and your eyes meet you can see the guilt and sadness playing out in her mind.

“Y/n?”

You give her a smile. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“What are you doing up?”

“Steve called and told me it was a tough mission so I wanted to be here when you got back.”

“He shouldn’t have woken you up, I am fine.” Natasha says but her voice does not match the confidence of her words. In fact you might have even heard her voice crack a tiny bit when she said she was fine.

“Tasha…” you warn. You don’t like it when she tries to pretend she’s all strong and hides her true feelings from you. Most people would assume missions don’t affect her but you know better and you know she takes any loss harder than anyone and always blames herself.

“I’m all good. I promise.” she says. Her voice which is pitched significantly higher than normal doesn’t convince you at all and she knows it but you also know when to leave her alone. If you push her too much she’ll just close off further.

“Okay. I made you a sandwich if you want it.”

“Peanut butter?” Natasha asks curiously, stepping into the kitchen and sniffing. If the mood wasn’t so serious you would have giggled at how cute she looks sniffing the air like a bunny rapid.

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

You watch as she steps around you, swings herself up so she’s sitting on the counter and picks up half of the sandwich and takes a bite, avoiding your eyes the entire time. You don’t want to stare and make her uncomfortable but you also don’t want to leave her alone so as she eats you busy yourself with getting a glass of water, adding ice cubes and a slice of lemon just so it takes longer.

When you turn back around you are surprised and concerned to find Natasha already on the second half of the sandwich with tears slowly rolling down her face. Natasha never cries and now you don’t know what to do.

“Tasha,” you say softly, “what’s wrong?”

Your words seem to do the opposite of your intention which was to calm her down because now her tears are falling faster and the silence is broken by sobs. Her shoulders are shaking violently and she has stopped chewing with food still in her mouth, making you slightly concerned that she might choke.

Instinct takes over and you’re across the room in a second, setting your glass down on the counter and prying the rest of the sandwich from her hands and dropping it on her plate. One hand makes its way up to her face trying and failing to wipe away the tears that just keep coming and the other finds her back, rubbing up and down in what you hope is soothing motions.

“Hey, hey, I’ve got you. But I need you to try to swallow for me okay?”

She nods and swallows and now that you no longer have to worry about her choking you try to calm her.

“Have some water.” you tell her, not ask her and bring the glass that was originally supposed to be for you up to her lips. She sniffles and takes uneven breaths but manages to take a few sips before pushing it away.

“Do you need anything else?”

“Just you.” Natasha says softly and you can feel your heart breaking for her. “Please.”

“Come here.”

Natasha melts at your words, leaning forwards and wrapping her arms around you tightly. You continue to rub her back with one hand and tangle the other in her hair, helping guide her head into the crook of your neck. The positioning is a little bit awkward as she is still sitting on the counter and you are standing in front of her but you don’t care that your hips hurt from being pressed into the marble, all you care about is trying to provide some comfort to Natasha.

You aren’t sure how long you stay there as she continues crying into your shoulder but eventually the tears turn to sniffles and her breathing starts to even out. Just as you think she might be starting to calm down a new wave of tears start.

“It’s all my fault.” she sobs.

“That’s not true.”

“You weren’t there, you don’t know what happened.”

“You’re right.” you tell her. “But I do know that you are the best person I know and you always try your hardest to do what is right. And I know you have a bad habit of blaming yourself for things that are out of your control.”

“I should have been better.”

Your heart breaks a little more for her at her words. You still have no idea what happened but it’s obvious Natasha blames herself and you don’t know how to convince her otherwise. She is so focused on what ifs that she doesn’t see how much good she has done in this world.

“You already are amazing baby, I doubt it’s possible to be much better.”

“But I should have been.”

You sigh but don’t deny her words because if you do it will just lead to a back and forth argument that will get you nowhere. The more Natasha argues the more stubborn she will get about the fact that it is all her fault and the harder it will be to convince her otherwise in the morning.

“You need sleep.”

“No.”

Despite how upset she is you can’t help but laugh a little at her pouty tone. “What do you mean no? You just came back from a mission and it’s the middle of the night.”

“I wanna stay here with you.”

She really is too cute right now and you feel guilty that a small part of you likes the fact that she’s upset because it means you can hold her and comfort her like this, in a way she doesn’t allow when she is feeling her best.

“The bed is more comfortable for cuddling.”

“Fine.”

You’re expecting her to let go so you’re surprised when she only holds you tighter and scooches forward on the counter, wrapping her legs around your torso. It’s only when she begins to shift her weight off the counter and onto you that you realise that she means for you to carry her into the bedroom. It’s not far and Natasha is small but she is almost all muscle so it is much harder to carry her than you might think. But you are determined not to drop her so you manage to make it to the bed.

As soon as you plop her down she opens her eyes and reaches up with her hands and you decide that you don’t need to use the covers if it means wasting time you could be using to hold Nat so you fall into bed next to her and scoop her back up into your arms. She falls asleep almost immediately and you try to stay awake to enjoy the feeling of her in your arms but you can’t help but drift off to the sound of her deep breathing. You know tomorrow will be hard and Natasha will still be upset but you are going to do everything in your power to make her feel better and you make a mental reminder to thank Steve for doing the same.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

My thing with Shigaraki Tomura is that he is, without discussion, one of the best written characters of Horikoshi.

1. He is the main antagonist, but not the main villain; that's AFO.

In other words, Tomura's goals are directly opposite to Deku's goals, which makes Tomura the antagonist. However, the big villain is AFO because he's the one holding the threads and manipulating Tomura.

2. Try and compare AFO and Tomura in terms of narrative complexity, for example.

AFO as a character is rather simple. So far he doesn't have a backstory to explain why he wants to dominate the world, outside of the whole thing with him wanting to make fictional stories come true. He is always evil and manipulative. He doesn't truly care about anyone if they don't represent some advantage to him. He's been alive for many many years now, but he hasn't truly change or grow inside the narrative of bnha.

On the other hand (pfff sorry), Tomura is quiet complex. He's the product of the hero society and he has a whole story supporting the narrative of how much he has changed and grown in the course of the manga. His intentions aren't always clear because what he wants is not always clear either. He has shown genuine affection and hatreds, has shown real concern for the people around him in contexts where they were not giving him any advantage and his reason for doing things is big enough to be the main subject of the manga.

3. AFO is the greatest evil, OFA is the greatest good. Tomura is related to both sides.

He is in the middle of a war where he represents who would win. He is a symbol just as powerful as All Might, a symbol that lives in a reversed world where the heroes are the villains and the villains are the heroes (at some extent, not completely).

There's no easy way out of his situation. Unlike other villains, he had no support and the heroes felt no sympathy towards him until later, after AFO admitted Tomura's being Nana Shimura's grandson. I think Deku is the only hero who has shown to be interested in Tomura for who he is and what he's suffering, or at least he wants to know more about him before making his final judgment.

4. Actually, we as the readers forget how little the inside world of bnha knows about him.

Tomura is for us an open book. We have heard him narrating his story, we've been in his mind, we've seen his feelings raw and bare. Not even AFO knows him as we do, neither does Deku. All the people who really "knew" him are dead.

We can even say Deku has the privilege of knowing Tomura the most. It's true that Tomura doesn't go around talking about his family and what happened to him, but let's not forget:

He didn't remember well enough what happened to him until My Villain Academia.

Since his first apparition, he had been highly communicative with the heroes, despite them rejecting him and his words multiple times.

He was willing to tell his story to the League of Villains at the beginning of the MVA arc.

Hawks couldn't find much about Tomura, which says a lot when it comes to how little the inside world of bnha knows about what happened to the Shimuras.

We don't know if All Might knows about how exactly the Shimuras died. We don't know if Gran Torino knows either, because for their reactions they didn't know about Kotaro being dead, many years after the Tenko incident.

We only know that Deku knows about Tenko because he has the vestige connection with Nana Shimura, but we don't know how much Deku is aware of when it comes to Tomura's past. How much Nana even knows?

Tomura has always been manipulated by AFO. He raised Tomura to act like he does and is constantly there to shape Tomura's path.

AFO now went as far as to possess him, restricting his actions, words and even his mental space.

Kurogiri is the only other character who knows Tomura well enough, and right now he's out of the narrative.

Deku does know Tomura better than any other hero, but he doesn't know him at all like we do. For the heroes, there's no reason to save Tomura or consider him something more than a criminal. They probably don't even know about Tomura being Tenko, or how he relates to All Might through Nana Shimura.

Horikoshi has showed us not only the story of Tenko and Tomura, but also his thoughts and feelings, his point of view, how AFO took advantage of everything. He haves us info enough for us to know that Tomura is an unreliable narrator. In complete honesty, every villain is an unreliable narrator in bnha.

5. Wherever you hate him or love him, it's easy to get invested in his story.

If he started off as someone who you couldn't understand or tolerate (not my case <3), that could have changed through the story. From his first apparition to the current arc, Tomura went from a complete stranger who wanted to bring violence and chaos to the hero society, to a character we deeply know (better than many other characters) and who is being manipulated and abused to a level that has no comparison on the manga.

We know at least three generations related to Tomura. We know his childhood and have an idea of how his teenage years went. His team (the League of Villains) have deeper backgrounds stories than many other hero students or pro-heroes. We've been on his mind and heart, enough to see through his eyes while he was killing his family and while he was getting possessed by AFO. We know almost everything about his quirk, about his behavior, to the point we don't know more because Tomura himself doesn't know more.

And Horikoshi had extensively showed us with many parallels and explicit actions how he is a victim. He presented Tomura as a victim of the violence in the current system. A young man with a great hatred capable of harming children and harming himself if that meant teaching a lesson to society. The desire of destruction went from a the typical speech of the villain, to a very saddening cry for help from a person that has been abused all his life.

Meanwhile, he is also dangerous and terrible, a cold blooded killer and a global threat. He has the biggest body count on bnha (after AFO, of course), showed no remorse or morals while facing multiple enemies and there's no guarantee Deku would be able to help him or save him.

6. In conslusion, if you want to know how complex of a character he is, just take a look.

From his character design to his voice, including his many names and the changes in his behavior, Horikoshi must have spend a great deal of time thinking about Shigaraki Tomura.

He even made the whole motive of Tomura the hands, a symbol Horikoshi likes a lot.

It's all written in the many details surrounding the character. Horikoshi probably adores showing off by giving horror elements to Tomura. You can see how Tomura is a mixture of many subjects and inspirations, which reflects on the elements of gid narrative.

That's why Tomura is also my favorite character in the whole story. At least for me, there are just a few other bnha characters that in matter of narrative can compare to him.

[beels-burger-babe]

Hi! I saw that requests are open, if it's not a problem could i request Satan reacting to MC coming to him with new books every time they hang out because they want him to read them out loud since they have a short attention span? Like, Satan would be reading said book while MC is drawing or doing something else.

I have adhd and reading books that are not digital is a nightmare for me, so him reading out loud would be pretty relaxing.

Btw it's up to you if you wanna do headcanons or a oneshot!

ABSOLUTELY!!! So this is actually my first request and I'm super excited because as someone who also has ADHD I can totally relate! I hope you like it!

Too Still, Too Quiet

GN!MC with ADHD Summary: Satan notices that MC seems to have a hard time hanging out with him; he's determined to get to the bottom of the issue and find a solution.

After living in the House of Lamentation for nearly a year, you've grown accustomed to the many quirks that came with living with the seven Lords of the Devildom. You had gotten close to the brothers, and as they picked up on your symptoms for your ADHD, they each found their own ways of being helpful. Lucifer had always known, as it was written on your file, and made a point of sending you subtle reminders throughout the day to keep you organized and on task. He brushed it off saying that it merely prevented him from having to go after you later on if you forgot or did something incorrectly.  Mammon was no stranger to having a hard time prioritizing and staying focused and took pride in lending you some of the different tools he used to fidget with. After all, his human deserved the best, and you couldn’t get any better than using something that belonged to the great Mammon. Leviathan’s room provided a relaxing atmosphere with just enough stimulation to keep your brain satisfied enough to focus on your school work and tasks. The sounds of the aquarium provided a fantastic back ground noise, and Levi always took caution in wearing his headphones when he gamed if you were working in his room to not add to the distractions around you.  Asmodeus had a good eye for when you were growing too frustrated by the regular chaos that tended to fill the House of Lamentation and would pull you aside to his room for some self-care to help calm you down. There was nothing like a head message and face mask from Asmo as he happily gossiped about the latest drama in The Fall to help ground you.  Beelzebub, on the other hand, was great at noticing when you were starting to grow restless. In those moments, he’d not-so-subtly state that he was heading to the gym and it’d sure be nice if he had someone to join in before very obviously making eye contact with you. At first you had a hard time figuring out a good balance between a work out that satisfied Beel while also not killing you. But now the two of you easily worked with each other until you were both sweating, smiling, and happy. He also made sure to remind you to eat through out the day whenever you went to a round of hyper-fixation on something. Belphegore wasn’t particularly helpful when it came to your forgetful spells or disorganization as, being the Avatar of Sloth, he would normally encourage such behavior. Instead, he did what he did best, and helped put your wandering mind to ease whenever you were trying to sleep.  The only person, and not for a lack of trying, that you just couldn’t seem to find a flow with was Satan. 

He was too quiet and organized for you to be able to stand being around him for long periods of time. You had tried hanging out with him a couple of times, but after a few minutes of him silently reading or him explaining whichever text he was currently studying, you would grow restless and distracted.  Which brought you to your current situation.  Satan had invited you to come relax in his room with him, as the rest of his brothers were dealing with the aftermath of their most recent dilemma. It wasn’t so bad at first, some light conversation here, some banter there, but soon your mind started to wander off to the spines of the endless books around you as you pondered on what might be inside them.  “MC?”  Your attention snapped back onto Satan, who stood frowning at you. You blushed and scratched the back of your neck. “Oh, I’m sorry. I got a little distracted. What were you saying?”  Satan sighed as his frown deepened.  “I’ve noticed that tends to happen a lot with you. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” He quickly amended raising his hands in defense. “But it seems particularly bad when you’re with me. You get quite jittery and I don’t think you’ve ever stayed in my room longer than ten minutes,” for a second his eyes almost looked sad as he looked over at you, “Is it something I’m doing? Do I make you uncomfortable?”  “No! Satan, no, it’s not you I promise!” You quickly reassured moving closer to him. “It’s just well I have a hard time staying still and focusing on things and when it gets too quiet it bothers me because then my brain is like hyper fixating on the smallest noises in the room, even though I’m supposed to be focusing on what you’re saying or my work, and it’s like, is that a page a turning or a something scratching at the door and then I start wondering about what kind of things could be in here and-”  “MC.” Satan cut off, though he didn’t seem annoyed. In fact, his eyes now gleamed with a sense of understanding. “Do you happen to have ADHD?”  “Yeah, I thought you all knew? Lucifer told all of you when I arrived right? That’s why everyone is so-” you moved your hand in a vague gesture that even you weren’t entirely sure what it was meant to symbolize.  Satan huffed and shook his head. “Lucifer did no such thing. I imagine he would’ve told us if it came to be a big enough problem. But you know him. He takes pride in being the only one to know certain things. “  You frowned and tilted your head in confusion. “But then what about the others? They’ve all been helping me out for months now.”  Satan placed a hand under his chin in thought, “They most likely took note of individual symptoms and decided to help. Belphegore, and possibly even Leviathan and Asmodeus may have put two and two together, but the rest probably think you’re just forgetful or that you’re restless,” he smiled reassuringly at you, “but that’s besides the point. Now that I know, I can help make you feel more at ease when you’re with me. What’s the main issue that you-” “It’s too quiet!” You quickly cut off, causing Satan to raise an eyebrow. “When we’re in here relaxing and you’re just reading and I’m supposed to be reading too, it’s too quiet. I try to focus on the book, but my mind keeps jumping around to other things. And I want to read all those books you’ve recommended to me, I really do, but I start feeling bored after a little while and next thing I know I jumping sentences without noticing and then I’ve gone an entire chapter with no recollection of what I’ve just read because I wasn’t really paying attention to the words at all I was just flipping pages without realizing it, so I have to go back and re-read the whole thing all over again!” You throw your hands in the air in frustration. “Is exhausting and makes me feel dumb, so I get up and do something else instead.”  Satan nodded, taking in every word carefully. “Well first of all,” you yelped as he flicked your forehead.  “Ouch! What was that for?!”  The demon smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. “For calling yourself dumb. Just because you have more difficulty with literature than others, does not mean you’re dumb. You simply require a different reading strategy than what most consider “usual”, and I believe I have a solution that would suit both of us,” you perked up at his words. “I recommended those books to you because I greatly enjoyed them myself. How about, when you’re here, you can choose a book you want to read, and I will read it out loud for you? That should help, yes?”  A light airy warmth filled your chest at just how accommodating Satan was willing to be. “But what about the books that you were reading?”  The demon shrugged, “I can always read them in my spare time.” He moved closer to take your hands into his, silently demanding your full attention. “I want to spend more time with you and get to know you better. I want you to be comfortable and be able to be yourself when you’re around me without feeling stressed. This is honestly the least I could do for you, MC.”  Blushed rushed to your cheeks as you felt your heart flutter in your chest. You awkwardly cleared your throat and took your hands back, rubbing them on your legs as you noted how clammy they were. “I think I-I would like that a lot” The grin on Satan’s face widened as he took one of your hands and lead you deeper into the bookshelves of his room. “Splendid! Then why don’t we get try right away? Take you pick, MC, I will be your narrator for the evening and for as long as you wish.”  ***** I hope this was something along the lines of what you were looking for! It is a little short, but I hope you like it. Thank you so much for the request, I loved it! Requests are OPEN and I would definitely love to complete some more if anyone has any ideas or prompts that they’d like me to complete. Just send in an ask and, if I feel comfortable with it, I’ll do my best to make a fic for it!

[lazypeachsoul]

I wouldn't want to spend a minute lovin' anybody else.

Warnings: this fic has some sad moments and mentions of the blip. also kind of AU because I'm completely ignoring Natasha's canon end.

Word count: 4,2k (i got very carried away with this fic)

Summary: · Meeting the right person at the wrong time can be life changing when it doesn’t work out the way we desire. But if it's meant to be it will always happen, right?

A/N: This is my fic for the "Women of Marvel xReader Exchange" created by @marvelxreaderfanfictionfest . It was created for @im-holding-ontoyou and I hope you like it! gif by @natasharomanovgifs 🌼 ALSO; i haven't watched Black Widow yet so I'm sorry if something in this fic doesn't fit the new info we got about natasha.

Masterlist.

To be added to my taglist use this forms or write me an ask!

New York, 2015.

When you received the call from one of your bosses that you had a new case you would have never imagined how big that case would turn out to be.

You had been working for one of the most important law firms in New York for a year now, and you were getting kind of used to reading cases that would be narrated in the papers for months. Rich and entitled men, big divorces were they fight over who gets the yacht, one or two murder cases... if it revolved around the powerful people of New York city, your firm would get it.

When you got to the debriefing and were told that Tony Stark, one of the firm's most important clients, asked your team for assistance in the creation of some legislation with the newly created “Advanced Threat Containment Unit” you were more than surprised.

The events that the Avengers had caused (or saved us from, there were different opinions going around) in the small country of Sokovia were known all around the and it was only time before the most powerful officials asked for the regulation of ‘superhero activity’.

You weren’t important enough to actually attend the meetings that took place with the government, seeing as you had only passed your bar exam a little over a year prior, but you were deemed cheerful and nice enough to act as a nexus between the firm and the client.

For months you spent your days talking to Tony Stark and other members of The Avengers trying to explain what was being talked about. The first few meetings were a disaster, seeing as the mood was somber for the lives lost and nobody really understood your legal jargon. But slowly you started to transform your language and really tried to make the meetings as easy as possible for everyone present.

But who were you kidding, they really didn’t care about the meetings or the silly attorney being sent to explain something that was way above their paycheck. Well, at least Stark was gracious enough to set a coffee station with some pastries for the meeting. You were pouring the hot liquid into your to-go cup when your hand jerked and the hot liquid splashed your hand.

You could feel the sting of the burn but avoided further sudden movements trying not to make it worse. Before you could reach for a napkin to clean up the mess you made, a more dexterous and manicured hand reached for them and exchanged the hot cup in your hand for the bunch of papers.

“Careful, Stark always serves boiling coffee. I think it’s to mask that it’s not the best quality.”

You lifted your gaze from your hand and found a pair of deep green eyes gazing back. You would have thought that spending numerous meetings in the company of superheroes would make you less susceptible to their powerful auras, but being this close to Natasha Romanoff made your heart beat a bit faster.

“Yeah, I found out the hard way.” You joked, lifting your hand a bit. “You would guess one of the richest people in the world would actually serve good coffee...”

Seeing her crack a smile made you feel less tense. Sometimes you forget they are still normal people. Normal people who could kill you with their bare hands and had superhuman powers. She placed your cup on the food table, apparently not bothered by how hot it must have been, and pushed her hand in your direction.

“I’m Natasha Romanoff.” You wrapped your hand around hers and shook it, biting your tongue trying not to tell her of course you knew her name. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself in earlier meetings, we were all trying to come to terms with what had happened.”

“No worries, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for all of you.” You nodded and tried to show her sympathy, trying to avoid thinking about all the lives affected by the fight. “Oh sorry, I’m-”

Natasha quickly cut you off, speaking your name before you could even say it. You could feel your cheeks get warmer at the idea that they actually knew who you were, and she probably could sense your mood change because she quickly explained.

“I know who you are, you send us at least two emails a week about these meetings and FRIDAY always announces you before you arrive.”

“Who announces me?” You asked curiously at the mention of a name you recognized.

“FRIDAY. It’s the name of Stark’s AI technology. It works all around the tower and it’s there to make life easier for everyone.” She explained pointing around at the speakers strategically placed around the room.

“Oh, I get emails from Friday sometimes. Most of them are asking me to translate or explain something about the debriefing because Mr.Stark is not interested in legal terms.” Both you and Natasha laughed at the thought.

But she quickly recomposed and tried to look serious again when she heard her teammates coming in to get ready for the meeting.

“I wanted to ask you about that. Do you think we could schedule a meeting so that you could explain some things about the legislation of the A.T.C.U.?” She spoke lower than she had when the two of you were alone and you wondered why she didn’t want her colleagues to know about the meeting.

“Ye-Yeah, of course I can.” You were confused but thought it would be in your best interest, and the firm’s, to say yes to the proposal. And a meeting with a very attractive and definitely interesting woman was not something that happened constantly for you.

“Great, thank you.” She smiled warmly and squeezed your hand that you hadn’t even realized was still wrapped around hers from the introduction. “I can promise you better coffee.”

You could only hum in response, still trying to piece together what she might want from the meeting. But your thoughts were quickly cut off when Stark entered the room and you moved to start the reunion.

During the entire meeting you could feel the dull pain in your hand from the scorching coffee and the feeling of a pair of green eyes watching your every move.

Vienna, 2016.

The situation had only gone downhill from the Battle of Sokovia. The public’s opinion on the Avengers was at an all-time-low and that made terrorist groups bold. They knew that if they struck and caused enough chaos, the blame would fall on the good guys that tried to stop them.

The only thing that seemed to be a stable thing in your life was Natasha. Well, as stable as dating a superhero might be. She was busy a lot, but you understood the importance of her job and you were quite busy too gaining importance within the law firm.

And even if sometimes terrorists and criminals got in the way you still found a moment to spend together, wrapped around each other without having to think about how messed up life was.

You thought Lagos was the blow that would make everything tumble, the Sokovia accords were unveiled and it broke the Avengers, and your girlfriend. You could feel how torn she was at her decision of some of her friends to oppose the signing and go on the run, and her own decision to subordinate to the United Nations mandate. But you realized how small that had been when king T’Chaka was killed at the UN.

You had been at the UN as part of the USA legal team that participated in the writing and monitoring of the accords. Your participation in the negotiations almost broke your relationship but you were able to recover once you explained your position and Natasha actually came to an understanding of it.

Natasha was also in Vienna when everything went down, you hadn’t managed to properly see her because she was one of the signers and they sat at the assembly while other guests sat at the amphitheater watching the retransmission.

You hadn’t been able to properly see her all day, seeing as she took a detour before flying to Austria. You were only able to communicate through texts where you tried to make the situation more comfortable for her and she promised a peaceful european trip to celebrate the signing.

When the bomb went off and all hell broke loose the first thing you tried to do was look for her, she was at the epicenter of the explosion and you just wanted to see if she was okay. You saw her from afar when you were being pushed to the outside of the building while they swiped the perimeter.

She sat with T’Challa before he jumped from the bench and stomped away. Natasha looked around and your gazes crossed, immediately melting away some of the worry. You tried to push your way through the crowd to get to her, but police and security didn’t budge.

You never took your eyes off of her, scared that if you did she would disappear. But she did move her gaze to her phone and the look that crossed her face when she heard the voice at the other side told you it was a very important call.

Once the call was over and she looked at you again you knew that would probably be the last time you would see her in some time. You hadn’t known Natasha as long as some of her colleagues had, but you could proudly say you could understand what she wanted to say with just a look. And the look on her face in that moment read close to a goodbye.

New York, 2018.

It had been two years since the fall of Helmut Zemo and part of the Avengers was still on the run. And it maybe wouldn’t have had that big of an impact on you if it wasn’t because Natasha had also been on the run for that long.

You had heard about what happened at the Leipzig airport and how Natasha had changed alliances to join Captain America’s fight. You had been heartbroken at the news knowing that any resemblance of normality that you still hope for was destroyed.

You had spent months wondering what had made her change her mind. Had she thought about your conversations about the accords? Had she even remembered you, waiting for her back in New York, when she decided to go on the run?

A part of you tried to convince you of how selfish thinking about that was, why would she think about you when the future of her team and friends was at stake? But also you were her girlfriend, she should have thought about the implications that might have had for you.

In those years you had mourned your relationship and after the grieving period you tried to rebuild your life. New friends, a new position and new chances to take. And it went okay...at least until someone opened their mouth to talk about superheroes or The Avengers. Years down the line and it was still on people’s minds.

On special occasions you would receive anonymous gifts at your office or your apartment. The first birthday after the war you sobbed for fifteen minutes when you saw the bunch of flowers. There was no name or indicative of who might have sent them, that was until you looked better at the card and saw the small red hourglass painted in the corner.

The gifts continued. Every case you won, promotion, birthday or holiday a bunch of flowers would be delivered to you with the same note.

In a way it gave you a sense of peace knowing she was okay and still thought of you. But the more you thought about it the angrier you got at how she had left you.

You didn’t expect a message from your boss to run to the Avengers compound and assess some situation between Coronel Rhodes and Thaddeus Ross. Although the team had crumbled, your company was still hired to legally represent the remaining members and moderate situations that might arise with the government.

You entered the compound expecting another bureaucratic complaint about their activity but you found a trickier situation. The meeting room was filled with people you thought you would never see again.

Captain Rogers was sitting on one of the chairs sporting a new look that made you almost not recognize him and a tense demeanor. Next to him was Sam Wilson, looking around at the smallest of movements and trying to assess the situation. Wanda Maximoff was standing on the furthest corner of the room playing with her rings, meanwhile Vision was apparently being checked out for a wound. What kind of wounds a synthezoid could get was beyond your understanding.

“Thank you for coming so quickly, I might have angered Secretary Ross during a meeting.” Rhodey came up to you with a nervous smile.

You had gotten closer to him thanks to your job seeing as he was the one doing the dirty superhero work.

“Yeah, I got that much from the text. Nothing new then.” You tried to joke to diffuse the tension in the room. “It would have been nice to know you had guests though.”

“We are not guests. Last time I checked this was our home too.”

That voice made your blood freeze. You should have expected her there, all her friends had returned and the chance of her being back too was almost 100%. But hearing her voice again after two years was not something you expected.

You bit your tongue before you could talk about how it’s not a home if you abandon it, but decided against it. This was a fight between them, not Natasha and you.

“I need you to work with the government to avoid this situation becoming a disaster.” Rhodey explained and you scoffed.

“Rhodey, I’m a lawyer not a politician. I have as much power in this as you might have.” You tried to lay your point across but it was difficult with all eyes on the interaction. “Hell, I have even less power than you do.”

“Then I need you to distract them enough to get them off our shoulders.” He pressed. “Something big is coming and we need all the strength we can get.”

You thought about it for a moment. If it was true that something big was coming, the Avengers were the best option to fight it.

“I’m in.” You scoffed at his smile and sat down in one of the chairs of the meeting room. “I’m not ready for the world to end yet.”

The meeting went on for a while. You called bosses, government officials and everyone that would listen to your distractions. You sent emails that would flood their inboxes for days so that they couldn’t read any news that might reach them about what the superheroes had in mind.

It was late at night when a cup of steaming liquid was placed next to you. You looked at it and saw that it was some kind of herbal tea, probably made to relax the drinker. You followed the hand that was still holding the mug until you reached Natasha’s face.

You had done your best to ignore her looming presence in the room but now there was no distraction. Looking at her you could see tiredness in her face. She was platinum blonde now, a look that weirdly suited her, but her face still looked as welcoming to you as it always did.

You tried to stop the flashbacks to the last time you saw it in person in Vienna, but they kept replaying in your head until her voice broke you out of the loop.

“I thought you might need it, I remember how nervous calls used to make you.”

She was smiling but you could tell it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yeah, I guess I got over it since I got my promotion. Now I spend a long portion of my day making calls.”

She hummed and sat down next two you, but leaving a chair in between you as a safe space.

“I read about it in an article, I sent you flowers to celebrate.”

“I got them. And the Christmas ones. On my birthday too.” You enumerated the times you had gotten the plants in the past two years. “You must have spent an awful amount of money buying me so many flowers.”

“You deserved it, you still do.” She shrugged and that’s when you noticed she had her own mug of warm tea in her other hand. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to celebrate with you.”

You laughed into your mug sarcastically. Out of everything you expected her to say this wasn’t one of them.

“Did you really? Because you didn’t seem to consider me much when you went on the run for two years.”

Natasha paled when she heard your tone. She probably wasn’t used to situations like these but you weren’t going to let her go without an apology at least.

“I was trying to do the best for-”

“-for the world. I get it, Natasha, I do.” You tried to contain your emotions but it was getting harder with every word. “Relationships are supposed to be teamwork. I know you are always too busy playing heroes and I never judged you for that, I just wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me before you disappeared.”

She was silent and knowing Natasha it’s because she was probably overwhelmed with the display of feelings. But she needed to hear how bad you had felt.

After minutes of waiting for an answer from her and getting nothing but sighs you shook your head and looked back at the computer screen.

“I guess it was a case of the right person, wrong time.” You shrugged trying to find distraction in the flurry of letters in your email inbox. “Or at least it was for me.”

She got up from her seat without a word and you grew exasperated. Why had she even approached you if then she wasn’t willing to have an adult, two sided conversation? She was almost at the door when you heard her voice again.

“Please never doubt how much I love you. I made some bad choices but dating you was not one of them.”

New York, 2024.

Time apparently flies by when you are erased from the face of the earth. One day you are in your office working late and the next you appear five years in the future with no recollection of what might have happened.

You were taken by authorities to impromptu camps and one by one examined to check your identities. The entire thing seemed to be something out of one of the dystopian novels you used to read as a teenager.

When it was your turn you gave them all the information you had on what had happened. You had given them your name and personal information and apparently had been a very searched person because the computer started beeping as soon as your name was introduced in the database.

You were moved to a secluded part of the camp and kept in an isolated room for god knows how long. Your stomach was in knots during the entire situation and you could feel the cold sweat on you. That mixed with the metallic taste on your tongue you knew this time your anxiety was justified. You were almost dizzy because of how hard you were thinking about the entire situation and trying to make sense of it.

When you heard the door of the room open you jumped up, discarding on the floor a makeshift blanket that had been placed on your shoulders when you got there. Your legs almost gave out at the movement and your heart felt like it was going to burst out.

The door opened enough for you to see who had been searching for you. Natasha stepped through the door still dressed in her tactic gear and with tiredness written all over her face. But that feeling seemed to almost disappear when she finally saw you.

With quick movements she stepped into the room and wrapped her arms around you tightly. For some reason that action was the trigger that you needed to let all your emotions consume you.

You started sobbing uncontrollably at the unknown. You didn’t understand what happened or how you are here, but feeling her embrace helped you feel safe in a way. It had been years since you last hugged her but it still felt as good as back in 2015.

You could hear Natasha’s soothing shushes in between your sobs and you moved to hold her tighter.

“You are here. I can’t believe I found you again.” She spoke softly and you didn’t know if she was speaking to you or herself. “It’s okay darling. I’m here and I’m not letting you go again. I promise.”

And with that promise a ray of hope made way between all the fear you felt.

Missouri, 2025.

Soft music could be heard all around the ground floor of the house. The soft beat was upbeat enough to get the morning started but not enough to be overwhelming if you had just woken up. You were sitting on the kitchen island looking at the news on your phone and having breakfast.

Mornings were usually very calm around the homestead and you couldn’ be more thankful for that. It allowed you to silently prepare your breakfast and coffee and get a headstart on Natasha’s breakfast too.

Since she had retired, Natasha had discovered a newfound love for sleeping in and you didn’t dare to take that away from her. She deserved it from all the work she had done in her life.

You, meanwhile, tried to get up early to scroll through the cases that you got in your new and smaller job and schedule meetings or emails.

It was a Saturday so work wasn’t a thing and you could actually enjoy your toast and coffee in peace. Or at least until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your middle and pulled you back against Natasha.

“Good morning baby, how did you sleep?”

“Like a baby.” You could feel her smile when she kissed your cheek from behind. “You weren’t there when I woke up though.”

You shrugged before moving to get a bite out of your toast. Natasha tried to do the same but you quickly moved it away from her with a smile. She tried again and you moved as fast as your reflexes allowed you.

“C’mon baby, give me a bite” “No, it’s my toast. You can make your own.” “But it tastes better when you make it.” “No it doesn’t, don’t be lazy.”

The playful fight continued for a few moments until she got close enough to get a small bit but you moved it again.

“Don’t make me bite you, darling.”

You chuckled at her threat and plopped the remaining toast on the plate in front of you. Breakfast didn’t matter much anymore. You threw yourself into her arms and pressed your lips against hers. It wasn’t a slow and sensual kiss, it was closer to how small kids smooch their parents. But you knew it would convey your love more deeply.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Nat.” You spoke against her lips and squaked when you felt her playfully nip at your bottom lip.

“Is now a good time?”

That question had become recurring in your household, a nod to the phrase you said when you found eachother again after being separated the first time.

“I couldn’t think of a more perfect time.”

And you couldn’t. The rest of your life spent in a homestead with your girlfriend and whatever life might bring? It sounded absolutely delightful.

Taglist: @tagehaya @flyforeverfree @rooskaya-yelena @evalynanne @insanitybyanothername @princessayveke @yelenabelovasgf @kyli314

[makeste]

some follow-up thoughts on BnHA 285

1. “at that moment...”

you guys. I still can’t get over this. just -- guys. this is Kacchan telling the story.

he’s not the first character to narrate, mind you. characters like Twice, Tomura, Ochako, and Kirishima have all narrated in the past. but it’s always been past-tense narration of their own flashbacks, or else present-tense narration explaining their thoughts (e.g. Twice in chapter 115). Kacchan himself has done present-tense POV narration before. but this isn’t that. this is past-tense narration of an event that’s happening now. this is the future Kacchan narrating the present day Kacchan’s story.

has any other character done that, aside from Deku himself?? am I just crazy overreacting here, lol. idk but either way it’s cool.

2. “...there were no thoughts in my head.”

there was a post yesterday talking about Kacchan’s big moment at the end of this chapter being a little disappointing because of it being an automatic “my body moved on its own” save on Kacchan’s part. the argument was basically that it made the moment less meaningful because of it being a subconscious thing rather than a conscious decision on Katsuki’s part.

but I disagree! for me the “my body moved on its own” is actually way more impactful. and rather than describing it as “subconscious”, I think the word that fits better in this case is instinct. first of all, even though he says there were no thoughts in his head, we know that’s not exactly true, as we can see for ourselves the images that were flashing through his mind. I’m just gonna list them out:

“I’ll even surpass All Might and become the best hero out there.”

“why was it me who put an end to All Might?”

“I made a pledge! I will achieve absolute victory, every time! we’re taking this 4-0, no casualties! the strong don’t settle for anything less!”

“I’m not gonna lose... I can’t afford to stay a loser!”

“you... you looked like you needed saving.”

thoughts about what it means to be a hero. what it used to mean to him, and what it means to him now. thoughts about rescuing others. about saving to win. thoughts about his failures. thoughts about him and Deku. and last but certainly not least, vivid memories of a moment when he needed someone to save him, and Deku was there.

he has these thoughts, but he’s not aware of himself having them. it happens too fast for him to be able to process. but all the same, his body isn’t just moving here of its own accord. it’s simply that in this instance, it’s not thought that’s driving him, but emotion. at the risk of sounding INCREDIBLY CORNY, it’s not his head that makes the decision, but his heart.

and that’s why it’s so meaningful to me. in this moment, it’s not conscious thought that’s driving him, but emotion, instinct, will. he sees the attack, sees that it will hit Deku, and he just reacts. something at the core of him screams that he can’t let it happen, and he just moves. and to me that’s even more powerful than him consciously doing the math and making the sacrifice play (though I’m not saying I wouldn’t have enjoyed that as well). specifically because it’s a moment where he doesn’t have a chance to think or analyze or panic or doubt. it’s a moment that shows us who he is when you strip all that away from him. he doesn’t have time to get in his own head; he doesn’t have time to feel any fear; he doesn’t have time to think about himself at all. he takes himself out of the equation. he sees that Deku needs saving. and the rest is pure instinct. it’s the most heroic he has ever been.

3. “even if One for All is a cursed power... at the same time, it’s...”

I was wondering what was up with this part, lol. Caleb’s translation makes it much clearer; to Katsuki, OFA is both a blessing and a curse right now. the “cursed” part is becoming more and more obvious with each new chapter. it’s putting Deku in danger; it’s made him a target; it’s destroying his body; and there are other, darker and more dangerous factors also at play that Katsuki doesn’t even know about but fears nonetheless. I honestly feel like he’s been anxious about all of this ever since he learned Deku and All Might’s secret. it’s been on the back of his mind for months now.

but at the same time, OFA is what brought him and Deku back together. sorry, am I getting cheesy again lol. BUT IT’S TRUE THOUGH. All Might’s quirk gave Deku the chance to compete with Katsuki on equal footing for the first time. it forced Katsuki to acknowledge him. and both he and Deku have grown so much on so many levels over the course of this past year, and all of it stems back to Deku receiving this quirk.

and just... fucking look at these flashbacks, though.

unless I’m reading this completely wrong, the gist of this scene is that Katsuki is grateful for OFA because it’s what lifted Deku up and allowed him to try and achieve his dream. the scenes of Katsuki bullying Deku and burning his notebook are contrasted with the scenes of Deku standing up to him and vowing that he won’t be his punching bag anymore. Deku before OFA, contrasted with Deku after. I get the sense that Katsuki feels a lot of gratitude for fate stepping in and working to undo his mistakes before he himself could finally get his act together and start atoning for them as well.

and then that last page is really interesting, because it’s like the “blessing” and “curse” parts of OFA all together in a single image. Deku is going all out against Tomura, giving everything he has, ready to sacrifice himself if that’s what it takes. there’s so much strength there (even though he looks completely insane lmao), but at the same time it’s literally killing him. mixed feelings, for sure.

4. “Katsuki Bakugou: Rising”

last but not least! so there’s quite a bit of discussion going on about what exactly a “rising” chapter actually consists of, lol. Momo is the only other character who’s had one before (at least if you don’t count the movies, and the movie spin-offs). so it’s hard to say for sure with such a small sample size, but if I had to guess, I’d say the “rising” chapters are about characters coming into their own as heroes. Momo’s chapter was all about her letting go of her insecurities and starting to believe in herself. and this chapter was all about Katsuki letting go of both his fear and his pride, and just getting the job done.

in the span of a single chapter, he lets go of every single thing that’s ever held him back. I felt like we really got a glimpse of the hero he can -- and hopefully will, if future!Kacchan the Narrator is anything to go by -- become. he was amazing. he took charge; he came up with a plan that absolutely would have worked if Tomura wasn’t LITERALLY FUCKING UNKILLABLE LULZ; and when that failed, he didn’t hesitate to make the sacrifice play. Bakugou fucking Katsuki, He of Zero Rescue Points, made the fucking sacrifice play. do you even know how much I love that you guys. I love it so, so much.

but of course, when you make the sacrifice play it tends to have the not-so-surprising side effect of getting you ALL FUCKED UP afterwards. so perhaps a less ideal outcome than he would have hoped. but he still did good. and he stopped Deku from getting murdered, and so now hopefully Deku and Shouto can mount some sort of aggrieved revenge counterattack to do their fallen friend justice. time for my other two sons to get to work! maybe Shouto can make Deku some new arms out of ice.