#also what are guests. who are they. are they out there?

[jessicalprice]

This is a fairly well-trodden theory (although obviously controversial among Christians) in studies of early Christianity (see, for example, the Vatican conference on Jesus and the Pharisees).

The question is less “Would Jesus (if he existed as portrayed in the NT) have considered himself a Pharisee?” (impossible to know) than “Would your average first-century Jew have considered him a Pharisee?”

As for that, here’s what we know about the Pharisees:

- Were attempting to create flexible, livable interpretations of Jewish law to adapt to the changing circumstances of the Jewish people

- Were decentering Jewish practice from the Temple into the home or community centers (synagogues)

- Usually had circles of students

- Didn’t have an infrastructure for getting paid for teaching, so they generally either had a second profession or were supported by patrons, which often involved traveling

- Taught and learned through debate—agreeing with other Pharisees on most issues wasn’t necessary to be one, and they disagreed with each other on all kinds of stuff while still having a fairly unified general ethos on the need to adapt

- Taught through stories

- Weren’t Roman collaborators (Sadducees) or calling for immediate revolution (Zealots) but were anti-Roman

- Weren’t isolationist like the Essenes/Therapeutae—remained closely involved with their communities

- Engaged with gentile “God-fearers” who believed in the God of Israel and some of the tenets of Judaism without converting to Judaism

Sound familiar?

The NT frames exchanges that would be well within the norms for Pharisaic debate as inexplicably hostile. Jesus disagreed with them on divorce, therefore they plotted to kill him!!!

Weird, because they disagreed with each other on L I T E R A L L Y E V E R Y T H I N G and weren’t trying to kill each other over it.

The Pharisees approaching Jesus to debate with him, if you look at the substance of their encounters and ignore the narrative insisting that they had Nefarious Intentions!!!!, is how they engaged with each other. They didn’t spend their time debating Sadducees. Debate was an intracommunity activity, not something they wasted effort on doing with their enemies.

Jesus has dinner with Shimon the Pharisee, which was fairly normal practice for traveling rabbis who guest-preached at a synagogue. They’d stay with a prominent community member while they were in town.

The Pharisees also warn Jesus that Herod is looking for him (also a normal thing to do for someone you see as a member of your community, even if you disagree with him on some things).

Early Christianity was at pains to prove it wasn’t just another Jewish movement, which meant attacking the Jewish movement it arose out of and was closest to.

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

[blorbohunter]

couldn’t sleep last night thinking about how caleb would react to hearing about your N109 excursions.

the shock and horror that his accident led you to put yourself at such risk just to find answers. into the territory of such a dark and evil man. how much time had you spent there? what did you have to do for information? to stay alive?

then he learns about your actual dynamic with sylus. whether that’s by him putting together that the luxurious gifts left at your doorstep only signed with “-S” aren’t from a fruit vendor

or maybe it clicks when sylus drops by your place unannounced, feigning ignorance about your guest’s presence but clearly there to make sure caleb knows just how familiar he is with your apartment and casual touches.

like holy shit what is your relationship with him if you’re willing to overlook everything he’s done?? to go against your association’s orders to report anything you hear about him and arrest him on sight? not only are you not trying to turn him in, you’re welcoming him into your home. sending him articles and memes that remind you of him. wearing clothes he picks for you. staying up late to talk to him at night. are you really willing to put your career on the line to have him in your life? the career that made you decide not to follow caleb to skyhaven for college?

was he manipulating you? using some kind of brainwashing? if Ever had toring chips, who’s to say Onychinus hasn’t figured it out, too? or at least stolen the tech?

maybe this was some kind of mission? to get in close with the big bad leader for information? to assassinate him? the thought of you being thrown out to the wolves for the hunter’s association made his stomach lurch.

were you a gold digger? maybe you liked the expensive gifts and lavish dinners. you didn’t grow up with a father figure; maybe you were looking for respite in the arms of some rich daddy type and you seized the opportunity. it hurt to think about you needing the comfort of another man, to even possibly use your body for a comfortable life. caleb should be the one to provide for you without you lifting a finger.

he’ll bounce around different conspiracies, choosing whichever one keeps him from spiraling any further. but it’s hard to ignore the blush and smile that a simple text from sylus brings out of you. and the way sylus looks at you: with reverence, patience, gentleness, and… love. he looks at you like he loves you. and nothing makes caleb feel sicker than that.

for some reason, you don’t care about the kind of man sylus is. and as much as that scares caleb, it also gives him hope. that one day maybe he could tell you everything he did, finally share some of the burden of his actions, and you could know him as completely as he knew you. that a day will come where he could show you his bloodied hands and you’d love him anyway. but he had to get that cocky asshole out of your life first. you only had room for one monster in your heart, and caleb would make sure it’s him.

—

i have so many more thoughts about this but i just needed to let some of it out. i apologize for my stream of consciousness style, i was furiously typing in the waiting room of my dentist office 😬

[markleessodalite]

They Can Hear Us...: n.jm

content: bf!jaemin drags you to an event you don't really want to attend, so you try to devise an escape plan... but he's not one to be fooled.

warnings: fem!reader, lots and lots of kisses, maybe a tiny bit suggestive(?) but mostly just fluff, nothing else to warn about afaik

word count: 0.5k

a/n: i had a mini hoard of drabbles that i was saving to post later, but i've read over them so much to the point where now i hate every single one :/ but n e waiz i got some extra days off work this upcoming week and i'm hoping to do NOTHING but write the whole time :3 (also if you're one of the anons who sent in requests i promise i'm gonna get to those asap!!!)

“Jaemin! Stop. I mean it!” you half-heartedly scold your boyfriend, although your soft tone and light giggles clearly indicate a message that’s opposite to the words leaving your lips.

Jaemin plants another teasing kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Hmm, are you sure?” He kisses the tip of your nose, then your cheek, making his way down your jaw and to your exposed shoulder as he laces his fingers with yours. “Seems like you kinda like it, huh? Love this dress, by the way.” His free hand rubs gentle lines along your back, with only just enough restraint to not mess up the delicate fabric of your one-shoulder gown.

You knew he loved this dress, particularly how you look in this dress, which is exactly why you wore it to this gala. You weren’t especially excited to be here, but Jaemin was over the moon eager to take you, show you off to everyone else there, his girlfriend who looks like an absolute princess under ballroom lights with her arm linked in his. Of course, you knew that after about 5 minutes of you in this dress, he wouldn’t be able to focus on whatever charity event is going on around you two– which is how you’ve found yourself hidden in an offshoot hallway, Jaemin cornering you against the wall, planting light and playful (but very obviously needy) kisses anywhere his lips can reach.

Hey, it got you out of sitting at that boring table with those boring people listening to that boring speaker, right? All part of your coy little plan.

The only sound filling your ears now is your own soft giggles against Jaemin’s low chuckles and whispers, with him now developing a game to entertain himself with: trying to find that one particular spot that will drive you crazy.

“Here?” He plants a kiss behind your ear.

“Nope.” You bite down on your lip to stifle any noise that could possibly slip through. You may be vaguely hidden, but you’re definitely still within earshot of the rest of the gala.

“Mmm. Then… here?” He hovers around the middle of your neck before leaving another kiss.

“No…” You can’t help the giggle that slips through your teeth.

“Okay… what about… here?” He leaves a kiss in the nook between the bottom of your neck and your collarbone, before biting down teasingly, drawing a squeal from you before you can catch it.

“Jaemin!” You can’t help but laugh, amused at Jaemin’s quick victory in his own game.

“Shh! Y/n, you know they can hear us…” Jaemin buries his face further in your neck, and you look over him to see the silhouettes of the other guests, turning their attention from the monotone speaker to figure out what direction the hushed giggles are coming from.

Here it is. Exactly the opportunity you need to convince him to go home.

“Then why don’t we go somewhere they can’t hear us, Jaem?”

He lifts his head from your shoulder to look in your eyes, and you know right away he sees through your little escape plan. And he’s not falling for it.

“No. I kinda like this little game. Round two? Let’s see if you can keep quiet, babe.” He smirks proudly at your shocked face before his lips crash into your neck again, and you realize he’ll play this game he’s made up for as long as this gala lasts. Can you handle Jaemin teasing you for several more hours without making a sound?

[dcxdpdabbles]

Holy hell Author. Holy hell.

Like, after I reread the Adopted son 48+ times, I still haven't processed even though I've processed fully what happened....

Like looking you need to distract myself but I can't leave your page. So I ask of you to throw us a bone of anything happier.... please

Like, IDK Royal Consort or something I don't know

That was like the first thing I could see after I like processed the episode of adopted son I just watched with my eyes that was like happy and not about food cuz I don't think I could stomach it without wanting to like viciously Chomp on a salad imagining it being Richard Grayson destroyed.

And I'm feeling bold but I'm also a coward I'm also a coward so I will not make this anonymous out of pure Hope that you who will throw a bone of any anything at us

And not just drink our tears while cackling madly cuz I feel like you do that like an ancient duchess or something IDK

Danny is floating in incredible darkness, disrupted by small shining stardust, where nothing but peace can reach him. It's been a long time since he felt so at ease that he allowed himself to flout higher and higher as if flying away into an endless cosmos.

He is about to pass a point where he knows that if he goes beyond it, there will be no return. He will know nothing but the tremendous abyss.

Accepting the joy it brings him, Danny floats towards the gateway, chest first, arms spread, and a blissful smile stretching across his face. Then, a burning sensation begins on his back, like someone had thrown a hook onto it. He has a second to scream before he's yanked away from the stardust and the gleaming gateway, hand stretched out desperately towards it as he falls, falls, falls-!

Danny slams into his body like a flight train, going off the rails and making him bounce slightly on the bed he was lying on. While trying to catch his breath, a roar of whispers starts up around him, resonating inside his skull and banging his brain like a gong.

He blinks and opens his eyes, trying to get his ears to stop ringing, but he has to shut them down due to the bright light that burns his pupils. He tries lifting his hand to rub at his eyes to soothe them but finds his limbs uncooperating.

Mentally sending the command to move doesn't seem to be received, as all he can do is make his fingers twitch slightly. His legs also won't move, not even to flex his toes. Panicked, Danny rips open his eyes again, wanting desperately to move his head but finding his neck is only able to rock in place but not actually turn.

Then, he notices a breathing mask is attached to his face. He seems to be underneath four bright lights similar to the ones he's seen on TV for medical shows. His clothes had been switched out from the fancy tux that the Waynes got him to what feels like paper-thin cloth, and he swears that there is a cap or something similar on his head.

Danny's heart starts hammering in his chest as his panic increases. He doesn't know where he is, what happened, or why he seemed to have woken in what seemed like a hospital setting. Distantly, he hears a loud double beat, rising in volume and increasing in tempo.

He can't tell where they are coming from as he struggles with all his might to get his body to move. A face appears on his right, causing Danny to flinch from the sudden appearance and the closeness. It took a moment for his eyes to focus as the person had left only breath space between their noses.

Phantom.

A bright eye, grinning Phantom with glowing cracks alongside the left of his neck. The cracks- they don't appear like scars, but honest to Ancients, they remember broken marks on porcelain dolls- went up to his left ear, curling around his jaw, and disappeared into the cloth near his left shoulder.

"What happened to you?" he means to ask, but the mask and his weakened state have the words come out more like "Wa heped to yu?"

Phantom smiles anyway, clearly not understanding what he's saying but able to make a guest, "Good morning, sleeping beauty. I've been waiting a whole week for you."

"a wek?"

"That's right, it's been a week. Frostbite was able to save you through a hazardous surgery involving half of my core and the blood of a human virgin." Phantom brushes some loose bangs out of Danny's face, somehow making his face soften even if his eyes still have that hard, tired glint. It was one of the big differences he had noticed at the gala.

Phantom had the eyes of someone who had seen the end of the world and had hearted his heart to survive it. He blinked slowly, trying to understand the information his future ghost self was saying, but his vision wavered as a new wave of fatigue overcame him.

Phantom sighs, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "Rest, my love. When you wake the next time, things should be much clearer."

Danny fights against his slumber as much as he can but is only able to hear a voice whisper, "How is the Consort?"

"He's doing better, thank you, Ambassador Drake."

Ambassador?

The next time Danny wakes up, he's no longer in the healing chambers. Instead, he finds himself underneath the silk comforter of his King Chambers inside of his castle that he purchased from the WebSpinners in the Ghost Zone. He blinks his eyes slowly, trying to push away the fog clinging to his mind, as he carefully leaves himself into a sitting position.

He's wearing his royal pajamas, which feel like a soft, warm cloud is touching his skin. He sits in the sensation while taking one slow, deep breath. The King Chambers used to be Pariah Dark's old bedroom in his haunt, covered wall to wall with mounted body parts of his enemies.

It took Danny two whole years before he could make himself go in and clear everything out. He then had Poindexter hire a team of interior designers who brought to life Danny's human perspective of what he thought a castle should look like.

Granted, Danny's idea of a castle was a little clouded by all the movies he had seen with Kings and Queens, and it took some trial and error before the team figured out he considered French Chateaus as his ideal mental castle image. Now they informed that the Haunt would react to his will, and after spending hours and hours meditating to create a connection with his inherited haunt, Danny had shifted its shape from a gothic black stone medieval castle to a bright white break chateau.

He had even turned the environment from a ranging dark storm into an eternal winter wonderland. He glances at the two large windows of his room, taking in the gentle folds of white blankets across the ground as soft snow continues to fall.

His breath hitches at the beautiful sight, suddenly overcome with love for his gentle winter morning. Even though he had shifted the grounds into more welcoming walk gardens with undisrupted snow and pine trees, nothing was as beautiful as his Haunt's ice statues of his family and other beloved memories that decorated the pathways of his gardens.

Danny takes a few minutes to admire

A fire cracks within the room's fireplace, pulling him from his thoughts. He briefly considers it, memorizing the soft purple of its flames when the door is violently flung open. Standing in the doorway is a hurried-looking Poindexter whose arms are filled with various parchment, scrolls, and stacks of papers.

"Danno! You're awake!" He greets, rushing towards him with various items falling out of his arms. "Thank the Ancients. Can you please review these purchase orders?"

"What? No!" Danny groans, leaning away from the desperate-looking nerd who practically crawls across the bed while shoving scrolls at him. "I've been unconscious for a week! Why would your first instinct be to make me sign purchase orders? "

"I know, but ever since you acknowledged yourself as the Consort, that made your human side head of Hunt operation and management. You only gave me Manager rights as the King, but the spouse authority, which in this case is the Consort, goes over my clearance level, and I need to get these paid before the ghosts lose their patience and come ransack the castle!" Pointdexter snapped. "Why did you go around telling people you married yourself!? I thought wearing the Consort symbol was a weird metaphor for self-love and a declaration of staying unmarried, not that you actually married yourself! This is weird!"

Danny blinks, caught off guard by the usually calm ghost sneering in his face. "How....did you hear about all of this?"

Pointdexter sighs, falling back and, thankfully, out of Danny's personal bubble. "Everyone's heard about it since King Phantom popped up with you in his arms, which is a problem because only a select few from your early years knew you're a halfa - a secret we had spent years protecting, which is now much harder to do. Rumors are spreading that you even brought back a concubine! A concubine!"

"I'm sorry?"

"You should be! Do you know how many ghost territories have attempted to send a concubine as a gift and an effort to control the King's Court?! Nine hundred and fifty-three! I had to turn away each one with the flimsy excuse that the King wasn't present to turn them away himself."

"We have a Court?"

"We do now! Thanks to the existence of Consort Daniel Fenton!" Poindexter rubs the space between his eyes after taking off his glasses. "The worst part is that King Phantom returned to the human world to calm things down from his fit and left that human in the castle. The jerk has been snooping around and then had the audacity of acting like he's some idiot who isn't snooping. As if I haven't been the head of the Hunt security for four years!"

Danny raises a hand, feeling like that was too much information to process. Seeing the ghost go silent and wait as he tries to think is gratifying. Eventually, he hears himself ask, "What human?"

"Timothy Drake. He was the reason you and the King survived a core transfer."

"How?"

"He donated fractions of his soul in self-sacrifice to turn into pure ectoplasm that was used to piece together King Phantom from falling apart." Pointdexter sighs. "The only problem was the man did it in a pathetic attempt to keep the King from "raging war" against the humans, and now he can't leave the Hunt as a side effect of the ritual. The humans think we purposely stole him, and now everyone is scared that King Phantom has a taste for human flesh., and not in the cannibal way! And I have Purchase orders that are weeks overdue!"

There was a loud sound of horns from the outside before a man shouted, "Announcing the arrival of Sir John the Pure, a tribute to King Phantom to be used as a concubine. A gift from the Cosmos tribe."

Pointdexer throws his arms into the air, leaping off the bed and rushing out of the room. It's always hard to remember ghosts could not go through walls like the mortal world, but that at least means the large carriage, followed by marching men in knight suits, was forced to go slowly so as not to hit all his ice statues.

That did not mean the weird marching band was made entirely of fanfare; trumpets stopped blaring their song as they grew closer to the front door.

Danny could see them from his window, and he also saw the moment Drake faded through the second-floor wall, looking shocked- likely unaware he was the ghost in the ghost zone- before he face-planted on the ground below. A beautiful man leaps out of the carriage, rushing towards him, and were it not for his blue skin and stardust in his hair, Danny would have thought him human.

Pointdexer appears at the door, shouting something while the horns continue to play their stupid song.

Danny opens and closes his mouth before he grabs a pillow and screams into it.

This is the worst way to wake up.

[strawberryhoney11]

ONLY ANGEL ౨ৎ

Drew Starkey x Reader

You are just making your way into the industry, interviewing on red carpets and your podcast. When your interview with Drew Starkey goes viral, suddenly everything changes.

You run your hands through your hair, nervous beyond belief to be on the red carpet. You had been working towards this goal for a while now, slowly building up your confidence on your podcast, bringing guests on of high status. When you were asked to attend the Outer Banks Season Three Event, you were shocked but also excited. You had talked about your celebrity crush, Drew Starkey, on your podcast. He was becoming very popular now but you had taken an interest in him since Season One, when you had just started getting recognition on Youtube. This was a dream come true. I mean, how many people got to talk to their celebrity crush?

Thinking these thoughts in your head was only heightening your anxiety and building a pool of nervousness in your stomach. You held onto the microphone like it was a lifeline as the crowd began to grow louder, signaling the arrival of the cast and other guests.

You felt small compared to the other big interviewees who had been building their portfolio for years. You were just getting into this business and wondered if everyone could tell. Transitioning from posting Youtube videos entailing your life to interviewing big stars on a red carpet felt like the biggest jump of your life. But it felt right, being here and doing this. After all, it was what you had always worked towards. This was your chance to make it count.

When flashes erupted as Chase Stokes took the center of the carpet it all began to feel real. This is it. You can do this.

Drew was next in line, behind Chase, as soon as he stepped up the cameras were blinding. He was becoming a hot topic on TikTok and you definitely understood why. He was so talented at what he does that you couldn’t even bring yourself to hate his character, one of the antagonists on the show.

As Chase started his interviews all you could think about was Drew Starkey standing in front of you, you blow out a breath to steady yourself and focus. Except Drew was wearing a dark navy blue suit that hugged his figure, highlighting his large shoulders and long legs. He was so tall, only adding to the appeal.

You pretty much blacked out in your interview with Chase Stokes, asking all the prepared questions in your head. He was nice and helped you feel more comfortable, shaking off the nerves that had been building all day. As soon as he stepped by you to go to the next interview, you snuck a glimpse of Drew just a few feet away now.

You didn’t show any outward signs of stress, trying to reel yourself in. But who wouldn’t be nervous to interview Drew Starkey?

You looked to your media assistant, Luke, and he gave you an encouraging thumbs up. Taking in a deep breath, you prepared yourself.

Drew was shaking hands with the interviewer beside you, saying his goodbyes and looking in your direction. He strides forwards, hands in his pockets, with a welcoming smile on his face towards you.

“Hi, good evening.” You tried not to sound too excited, acting normal.

He smiled in response, “Nice to meet you. Feels very good to be here.”

“Drew, you’re deservedly on the rise currently. What do you think draws people towards your character in the show? He’s a fan favorite.” You start off with a simple question, testing the waters. He nods as you speak, paying attention like you are the only one in the room. It almost makes you catch your breath.

“Thank you. I think what makes people so enamored with him is because of how layered he appears. He’s not the typical ‘villain,’ you know? There’s a lot more to him than that.” You smile as he talks to you, unable to stop yourself. His encouraging smiles make you nervous, but you continue.

“What should we look forward to in this upcoming season with Rafe?” He leans forward as the crowd becomes louder, entrapping you with his presence.

“There’s definitely some growth, he’s looking to bigger things this season I think.” He scratches his jaw, drawing your attention to his hand. One signet ring is on his finger, much like his characters.

He is smiling in anticipation, looking down at you from his towering height. You start your next question when he interrupts you, “I’m sorry, I - I think I recognize you from somewhere.”

You didn’t prepare for this, causing your cheeks to erupt with color.

“Oh-?” He’s smiling knowingly now, in a teasing manner, leaning closer as the crowd pushes in around you.

“Maddie Cline watches your videos. She loves you.” He says, taking a preview of you now that he fully recognizes you. Drawing his eyes from your face to your feet.

“Oh, my- I had no idea. I’m excited to talk to her tonight, I’m a big fan.” You can’t stop yourself from rambling, forgetting your prepared questions. “You said she watches my stuff?”

“Yeah, I was trying to remember where I saw you.” He scratches his jawline again, narrowing his blue eyes at you.

“I’m pretty forgettable.” You joke, shrugging your shoulders.

“No, not all.” He’s quick to respond, taking your breath away. You laugh, nervous beyond belief.

What were your questions?

“You’re doing great by the way. It’s intimidating walking into this.” He nods, encouraging you that you aren’t doing something wrong. You loosen your grip around the mic, becoming more comfortable now.

“Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.” He laughs at your snide comment, filling your stomach with butterflies. Is this actually happening?

“You should have me on your podcast, yeah?” His teasing remark sparks some confidence underneath you.

“Well, I don’t know if you’re ready for that kind of thing yet.” He raises his eyebrows in surprise, as you shrug.

“Oh, really?”

“Mhm.”

The two of you smile at each other as he plays along. You completely forget about the line of questioning, the fact that he has to keep moving down the carpet.

“Maybe, then?” He asks, leaning forward. The fact that he even knew about your podcast was enough to make your hands shake.

“I’ll give you a call when I think you’re up for it.” You remark, as a man in a suit comes up behind Drew, telling him to keep going down the line.

He still smiles at you as you part ways, stepping forward at the last second to add in another comment. He takes hold of your microphone, placing his hand on top of yours as he brings it towards himself.

“I’ll be waiting.” Drew smirks, looking directly into your eyes.

Your stomach flips at his words, your cheeks feel like they are on fire. He waves as he walks away and you aren’t sure what to do besides wave back. You look at Luke, who has a smile on his face, shaking his head.

Hopefully that didn’t look weird, you think to yourself.

You can’t deny the jumble of feelings in your stomach, paired with your erratic heart beat. He touched your hands. What just happened?

Would that even constitute as an interview? You have to quickly recover instead of analyzing your interaction.

Madelyn Cline is smiling from ear to ear as she approaches you, it slipped your mind to even consider who was in line after Drew, but you had to brush it off.

“Hi! I love you!” You both say at the same time, bringing each other in for a hug.

You couldn’t believe how this night was going.

[strwbrychffoncke]

"so go and tell everyone you know that you're all mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,, 2.7k words ⸺ event masterlist synopsis: when your pretty hunter boyfriend receives too much attention ,you decide to take a page from his book contains: nsfw! lnds xavier x afab!reader ,miminal plot tbh ,reader wears a dress ,feelings of jealousy (reader) ,hugging ,kissing ,marking ,you push xav onto the bed ,teasing ,switch!reader ,fellatio ,cum eating ,unprotected sex ,riding ,reader kinda possessive but just kinda ,switch!xav kinda ,creampie ,brief overstimulation ,fluff afterglow ,reassurance ,mention of aftercare ,i think thats it note: (mostly edited!) loosely based on this one twt ab his nightly rendezvous card w an ss ab mc saying she also has a temper & the tweet saying how excited he was at the thought of her getting jealous/doing the same to him that he did in his card.... i hope it came out well...? (og had top!xav in mind but wanted to try smth i dont usually lean into... maybe ill write him another time i <3 when he gets freaky lol)

-

xavier was the jealous type.

that much you knew.

you'd seen the more subtle moves of his possession over you, namely telling others off in a roundabout way or making it know that he was your partner.

other times, his temper escalated, and the night was filled with passion and the reassurance that you were his.

though, you had a temper as well.

and you had just about reached your limit today.

-

xavier sensed that you were... off today, to say the least.

honestly, he could guess why, but he was curious about this side of you, and wanted to see how you got during this time since you were usually the one quelling his feelings.

you're not as chatty on the way back to the apartment, and when you both slip inside of his, door clicking shut behind you, you immediately lean your weight against your partner before you, ear pressed against his chest, cheek squished against the hardness, arms snaking around his middle and holding him tightly in place.

he laughs at the sudden affection, wrapping his own arms around you. at his reaction, he feels you pout against him.

"what's wrong, love?"

you don't respond right away, squeezing him a little bit tighter.

"mine," you mumble against his shirt.

a giggle escapes him again.

ah, so it really did get to you.

on your date earlier, xavier had been approached by some lady when you had left to buy some snacks at a nearby stall. she was chatting him up very enthusiastically, and you couldn't help the feelings stirring within you.

when she asked for his number and he politely declined was when you finally closed the distance, bright smile as you latched onto your boyfriends arm, politely asking who the guest was.

xavier casually began explaining while the girl in question scurried away at the sight of your closeness. you were satisfied at that, at least, dragging him away elsewhere.

though, there were still brief instances of your boyfriend being marveled at by strangers and passerby's alike— much to your chagrin.

you begin sliding your hands up xavier's larger ones, up his arms and across his chest as you kiss at his neck, reveling in the surprised, airy noises he releases into the room, hands reaching forward to grip onto your waist.

in the midst of your kissing and sucking of the pretty skin of his neck, you push at him lightly, signaling him towards his bedroom. xavier follows your lead, excitement growing at your lead.

by the time you get there, you're growing impatient, need steadily growing as you push him back onto the bed, quickly moving to straddle his lap. you don't give him time to question, kissing his lips fervently, hands trailing down and pulling at the hem of his sweatshirt, breaking the kiss to tug it over his head before you're back on him, hands now slipping beneath his shirt to feel up his toned torso.

he moans into the kiss at your touches, wandering hands sending sparks through his sensitive skin, growing harder and harder as you grind against his crotch. he lets you finally tug his shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere before you're leaning up again, kissing him hard and leading him to lay completely on his back, soft fabric of your pretty dress an annoying barrier against his bare chest wanting nothing more than to feel your warm boobs instead, completely at your mercy as you continue grinding your clothed heat against him.

you break the kiss and pull back, looking down at him, satisfied at the state you brought him to, relishing in the way that no one else would have the privilege of doing the same.

"you're so pretty, xav...." you mumble, eyes clouded in need.

xavier's breath hitches as you slide your hands tantalizingly slow down his torso, past his waist until you reach his hips and go a little lower, stopping right before the confined bulge.

your deft hands quickly unbutton and unzip them, pushing them down past his hips, mouth watering at the hard-on pressing through the thin fabric of his grey boxers, small wet patch forming from the leaking head— a show of how much he liked you like this.

he's panting now, anticipating your next move, nerves aflame at your initiative and more than happy to let you do as you please to him— maybe, he thought, he should be a little embarrassed at how turned on he was from this but honestly, he couldn't bring himself to be, not when all he felt was pride that you loved him so much to feel so strongly about him this way.

the same way he felt about you.

he watches as you make brief eye contact with him, head lowering toward his covered cock, watching your tongue dip out and lap at the wet spot of the cloth.

he can't help but moan at the sight, body on fire as he watches you tease him through his boxers for a little longer before he can't take it anymore.

"please, love," he almost begs, wanting nothing more than for you to seat yourself on him and take exactly what you want.

a little grin creeps up your lips and you sit back up, grabbing the hem of his boxers and tugging them down, taking your time and watching as his cock spring to life.

once those are discarded and he's laid bare for you, one hand reaches out to stroke his pretty length, leaning forward and kissing him deeply as you do so.

both of your eyes are fluttered shut and he's humming into the kiss, letting you set the pace, more and more precum leaking from the tip as your speed increases, swallowing his sounds all the while.

you break the kiss suddenly, saliva connecting your lips when you break the string, moving back down and taking the head of his cock between your lips instead, swirling your tongue around the head a few times before slowly fitting more and more of him into your mouth. you gag slightly when you reach your limit, one hand continuing to stroke what you can't fit while the other gives attention to his swollen balls, all while the man below you can't help the moans that are released into the quiet of his apartment.

the wet sounds of his shaft, your sucking, and his moans fill the space, feeling yourself getting wetter by the second. you speed up your ministrations while subconsciously grinding your damp panties against his thigh, knowing he's close and wanting nothing more than to swallow his seed before finally riding his cock.

"love, love, ah- so cl-ose, ah!"

you peek up at xavier's pleasure-filled expression, eyes shut and head thrown back into the pillows, one hand splaying over your head to grip your hair and the other clenched as he tosses it across his mouth, trying his best to muffle the growing volume of his moans at his approaching orgasm.

and with a few more quick strokes and precise sucking he reaches that peak, groaning loud with your name on his lips as his flavor fills your mouth, hips needily bucking against his thigh in need. you continue stroking and squeezing at him, trying your best to swallow all that he gives to you, some inevitably dribbling past your lips as you release the head with a pop, letting the remaining ropes decorate your chin and the lacy fabric of the dress covering your chest.

"always so much," you smile to yourself, always pleased to be marked in his essence.

you're both panting into the air, catching your breath for awhile after. when xavier manages to crack his eyes open, the sight is enough to make him hard again.

you, panting softly, eyes glazed over, sitting on top of him with his cum staining the neckline of your dress and chest, dripping past your wet lips.

god, were you ethereal.

he watches you sit on your knees, reaching under the short skirt of your dress, slowly tugging down your soaked panties, and he can't help the rumble in his chest at the sight of the pretty pearlescent-colored pair practically soaked through— a sign that you were enjoying this just as much as him.

he can't tear his gaze away from you as you position yourself right above him, hand reaching down to stroke at his sensitive cock a couple times, aligning him with your slick entrance.

you look up at his face, giving him a chance to stop or tell you to keep going.

"take what's yours, love."

and with that, you sink yourself down onto his length.

you can never get used to his length no matter how many times you've taken him or had him bully himself into you, a moan ripping from your throat at the first intrusion. you steady yourself, hands flat on his torso and more sounds escaping you as you impale yourself on his cock, bit by bit.

xavier is always aroused by the sight. he can feel himself leaking more, your shared slick dripping down his cock as you continue making your descent.

once you finally take him to the hilt, sitting flat against him, you breathe a sigh of relief, rolling your hips and feeling how full he is within your snug walls. xavier groans at the movement.

"so full, always so full," you mumble almost incoherently, xavier humming in pleasure at the comment.

"it's all for you, love, all for you," and only for you; the underlying message in the sentiment.

satisfied, you begin lifting your hips up enough to keep his head sheathed before slamming back down, a shared sound of pleasure between you both reverberating through the bedroom. in no time, you begin setting a steady pace, hips rising and falling rhythmically, panting out into the air at the pleasure that fills you.

"xavier, hah, feels good," you pant.

"only.. i get to do this... you're mine, ah—"

while your words held promise, xavier couldn't help but think how cute it was of you, saying that while using him like this.

his heart thrums in his chest, hands gripping your waist and pulling you closer towards him.

"all for you, only you, angel," he reassures, relishing in your moans as he makes you grind on his cock before letting you continue bouncing on him.

you arch your back as you bounce, his hands slipping to your thighs and moaning with you, watching as your breasts bounce behind the fabric of your dress.

thats... not right.

lost in the pleasure, you don't fully register the quick motion xavier makes as he grips the hem of your dress, resting at the tops of your thighs, before quickly tugging it over your head and unclipping your bra, tossing them somewhere on the floor as his hands reach up to knead at your bare tits.

you moan is response, hands firmer on his abs at the new stimulation fueling your arousal. you feel your movements ceasing, legs slowly growing tired, but you're determined, wanting nothing more than to feel his warmth invade your insides.

"need some help?"

you let out a surprised moan at the sudden thrust from below— xavier's doing.

"let me help you, angel."

he's gazing at you in that way that leaves no room for argument, his voice darker, a little hushed but with underlying need, and you can't help but to accept his offer.

"please, xavier."

he grips your hips again, planting himself firmly into the mattress before he immediately begins relentlessly thrusting into you from below.

you grip onto his abs tighter, anything to stabilize yourself against his brutal thrusts (how he was able to give such perfect, punctuated thrusts from this position, you had no idea, but no complaints either), moving your hips just enough to meet them, pleased sounds intermingling at the full feeling where you needed him the most.

you throw your head back at one particular thrust, mewling and moaning in response and moving your hips in tandem with xavier's, feeling yourself approaching your high.

"there, xavier! close, hah, im-"

"yeah? feel good, angel? ah-a—"

his thrusts grow sharper somehow, more calculated, one hand moving from your waist down to your clit, playing with the button to increase your pleasure tenfold. you're beginning to see stars, gripping onto him tighter.

"xavi— ah!"

you make me feel so good, angel— only one, hah, who makes me feel this way—"

his words, his thrusts, the stimulation on your clit, the overwhelming sensation of pleasure courses through you, and you lean down to capture his lips with yours in a needy, loving kiss. with a couple more weak plaps against his lap and upwards thrusts from him, you're gushing all over his cock.

"cumming! xavier—"

"m' close, angel, m' close—"

you're laying on top of him as he continues slamming his hips into yours from below, your pretty moans right next to his ear sending even more pleasure through his body.

"too.. much, xavier, too much—"

you're whining in overstimulation against him, tears pricking at your eyes from not being given a chance to come down from your first high before he begins beckoning you into another. one of his hands spreads flat against your back as the other still holds your hip, sinking his teeth into the flesh of your neck as he reaches the peak.

you cry out at the feel of his teeth, arms wrapping around his head and fingers digging into his hair, mewling both at the feeling of his mouth leaving his mark and the warmth that slowly fills you up, the excess remnants of your mixed essence dripping down his spent cock.

you're breathing hard against his ear, hugging him close to your chest for awhile, only letting out pleased hums and small sounds as xavier continues to litter your exposed neck and collarbones in bites and kisses. he can feel your rapidly beating heart like this, smiling against your chest before leaving kisses on the bare mounds.

you pull back after you finally manage to come down, looking into his bright eyes, offering a small smile and leaning forward to kiss him again, this time slow and sweet, full of gratitude and appreciation.

you're the one to break the kiss, cupping his face in your hands and peppering it with kisses all over, prompting the man below to giggle at the sensation.

"so," his hands rub up and down the expanse of your back. "do you feel better, now?"

you tap the corner of your lips with an index finger, feigning a thoughtful expression as you look elsewhere in the room.

"hmmm..."

"because i'm always ready to give you all the reassurance you need, lovely."

his words are sweet, but there's a teasing, almost dark look in his eyes when he shifts his hips just slightly underneath you, causing your body to jolt immediately.

"i'm fine, i'm fine, all better!"

he laughs at your hasty response, arms circling your waist.

"good. if you ever feel that way again, you can do the same thing," his eyes hold mischief before he grows a little serious.

"i'm yours. i always have been."

your heart flutters, and you can't help the urge to kiss him again.

"and i'm yours, always."

"always," he smiles at you.

despite the occasional feelings of jealousy, you both knew that you belonged to the other, forever.

-

epilogue:

"you were so rough with me today," xavier jests, teasing smile playing on his lips.

embarrassed, you can't help to stumble over your words.

"sorry, it was— i just—"

xavier silences you with a peck to your lips.

"its not a bad thing," he reassures, leaning forward so his nose touches yours. "i like when you get that way."

you hum, relaxing against him again.

"though, i'll need a long rest after that," he says, shutting his eyes.

you lightly hit at his chest.

"xavier, we can't just sleep like this!"

"of course we can."

"come on, let's get cleaned up."

when he pretends to doze off under you, you try slowly pulling back to at least clean yourself up, only to be held down by the strong hunter's arms.

"xavier!"

"don't leave me."

"then come with me," you laugh.

he sighs.

eventually, you manage to get him up to take a shower, washing each other off before slipping into some cozy clothes. then, and only then, do you allow him to succumb to sleep, using your chest as a pillow.

you brush your fingers through his hair, planting a fleeting kiss on his forehead.

"all mine," you smile, shutting your own eyes and allowing yourself to drift off.

-

a/n: came out a little differently than i imagined but hope its still ok? havent written for xavier since december so pls be kind.... ill write more for him in the future i promise....

-

[breelandwalker]

I'm starting to question how much the "old" pagan costumes and festivities were indeed about fertility, sex, etc.

Ronald Hutton claims that there is no evidence in history that the maypole was saw as a phallic symbol, for example. And there are other possible meanings. But you usually just read in books as a matter of fact that it was a phalic representation and the dance around was about fertility etc

I recently read the witche's bible because I was curious about traditional wicca rituals and there is suuch a high focus on how every single costume or holiday was about fertility and sex that honestly it makes me wonder, how much it was indeed about those things and how much is just the interpretation of modern people like Gardner making it about those things

You're hitting the nail on the head without even realizing it, Anon.

SO much of what we think we know about "old pagan customs" comes from books written by Victorian-era occultists. And if there is one thing to be said about Victorian-era occultists, it was that they were horny as FUCK. (And the Edwardians weren't any better.)

These people went around rubber-stamping FERTILITY in big red letters on anything to do with goddesses or springtime or even the most passing reference to pregnancy, childbirth, midwifery, or babies. Literally any excuse for ritual nudity or a sacred orgy. And no, that is not satire. Or a euphemism.

The other thing that can be said about Victorian-era occultists is that quite a lot of them were history buffs and very prolific writers. (If you look at the roster of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and their regular guests, it reads like a Who's Who of the writers of fantastical fiction and poetry at the time.) So the result of that is a whole lot of literature about folklore and "ancient pagan customs" written by people who were filtering what little historical information they had at the time through the lens of their own opinions and those of their colleagues.

(It's worth noting that that "lens" often consisted quite heavily of free-associated ideas not supported by history or things they completely pulled out of their own asses. Leland's "Aradia" is a good example of the "Ancient Sacred Text Given To Me By A Real Witch Who Totally Exists And I Definitely Didn't Write This Myself And Make Up This Claim For Clout" genre.)

Quite unsurprisingly, a lot of these beliefs got absorbed into the roots of the modern witchcraft movement a few decades later, since those were the popular resources available at the time and the same generally-prevailing opinions and biases were still present. So this started WELL before Gardner and his coven were on the scene. They just picked up the thread.

And as we all know, once there's a generation or so of removal from the founding beliefs of a movement, people tend to take the older texts as gospel, regardless of how flawed they might be.

See Also: We Still Have To Talk About The Witch-Cult Hypothesis Because Margaret Murray Wrote The Encyclopedia Britannica Entry On Witchcraft And It Wasn't Updated Until The 1960s.

See Also: We Still Have To Explain The Difference Between Historical Fiction And The Historical Record Because Of The White Goddess And The Mists Of Avalon.

See Also: We Still Have To Talk About The Burning Times Myth Because Raymond Buckland Made That Stupid Fucking Documentary.

See Also: Why The Hell Is Anyone Still Recommending Silver Ravenwolf.

Anyway, the short answer is that yes, your impression is correct, and I'm glad you're reading Hutton and forming that practical context for the witchcraft/pagan literature and media that you encounter.

Keep honing that bullshit detector and best of luck!

[uselessmoonlight]

Stranger part 19

Reader is Telemachus' friend, and when he leaves for his "diplomatic mission" he asks her to watch over his mother. Later, once the king has returned, she stumbles upon an injured Poseidon.

Previous / series masterlist / character sheet / next

Content specs: she/her pronouns used, afab reader, Platonic! Telemachus x reader, Epic!Poseidon x reader, possible OOC!Poseidon, Polites’ daughter! Reader, unrequited love, blood, fighting, nudity, illusion, possibly more?, trying to avoid using y/n, slowburn, suggestive themes.

Please check out the poll at the end of the chapter!

Two young adults were sat in silence in one of the rooms of the palace, an owl sat in the windowsill, ready to both intervene, and relay information to her mentee and friend, and his wife. For an hour neither spoke, not knowing what to say, but time was ticking as guests of the palace trickled in, coming from far and wide for the celebration.

Awkwardly, Ónoma started the conversation. “So, you like me.”

“You don’t have to sound so disappointed about it.” Telemachus answered, somewhat angrily.

“I am disappointed though.” She stopped him from interrupting her. “It’s not because you are not good enough or anything, I just thought that, for once, I wasn’t just a woman, a potential partner to someone. I thought it was just friendship, true friendship, but now I don’t know.” She trailed off, not knowing how to continue.

“We are friends, you are more than just some girl, that’s why I like you.” Telemachus started, but Ónoma cut him off.

“I don’t know if I can trust your intentions. You are the greatest, sweetest, most thoughtful friend I’ve ever had, but I can no longer tell if that’s because of who you are, or if it is because you wanted something more from me.” She explained. “And it sucks, because I don’t want to paint you as some manipulative mastermind, but my mind can’t help but wonder. It’s not far-fetched either, because your father is a known wordsmith and you’ve been taken under Lady Athena’s wings as well.” She paused. “I don’t want to hurt you by suggesting that you could’ve done that, but you must understand why I might think that.”

The prince was silent, speechless even. Matters of the heart are truly the greatest challenge one can face. After a long pause he came to a conclusion. “Perhaps it’s best if I keep my distance for a while, to get over it, you know.”

“Or we could find you a nice princess tonight.” She offered hopefully. Both of them knew Telemachus’ solution was the best one, but neither wanted to go without the other. Through the years they’d developed an almost co-dependency.

“It’s worth a try.” He replied, taking her hand and holding it to his chest for a moment. It only broke his heart to hear her suggest considering other women, but for now, with her hand near his heart, it ached a little less.

When the two friends got to the main hall, the party was already in full swing. Ónoma felt entirely out of place amongst the royals and nobles in attendance. She spotted Odysseus talking animatedly with a man she assumed to be Diomedes of Argos, king Nestor was also easily recognizable, his age a dead giveaway, but aside from that she could not conclude who any of these people were.

Most of the man’s comrades from the Trojan war were no longer amongst the living, so she wondered if he himself even knew these people, or if this party was more strategic than she’d first thought. An opportunity of diplomacy, under the guise of celebration. The man had relied on Xenia a lot during his journey.

The last people to arrive were easy to recognize, Helen’s beauty was easily recognizable, and Menelaus was, well, Menelaus. He was not unpleasant, but there was something off about him. At least he wasn’t his brother, Ónoma would not be surprised if Agamemnon had a spot in Tartarus. All that she’d heard about the man was rather unpleasant.

The celebration had gone by surprisingly well; Ónoma had had a discussion with king Nestor, the man truly had learned a lot in his long life and had some meaningful insight in certain things. Diomedes had approached her, asking about her role in fighting off the suitors commended her bravery. She’d let the sexist undertones slide, not wanting to get in trouble with him, but she’d appreciated the praise none the less.

Menelaus had mistaken her for a palace slave, and she’d awkwardly redirected him to the servants. She did not receive an apology from him, but his wife had been pleasant enough. Their daughter had been even nicer, Hermione had been able to marry the man she wanted to after the passing of Neoptolemus and had been thriving ever since. After speaking about her with Telemachus, however, she learned that she was not a fan of the girl, with what she’d tried to do to Andromache.

Polycaste had been incredibly pleasant company. She’d ended up talking of her troubles with the daughter of Nestor, leaving out some details, but the girl had had interesting views. Her father’s wisdom had clearly rubbed off on her. Perhaps she’d be a good match for Telemachus, the two of them seemed to get along quite well.

Even more surprising had been the actions of the Ithacan king, he’d apologized to her and had proceeded to boast about her to the other attendants; how she’d defended his wife, gaining the aid of a God in doing so, how she was vital to the workflow of the island and of her duties in the temple. Perhaps this was his attempt at making things right after his previous actions, but Ónoma did not appreciate all the attention, even if she recognized that he had good intentions.

Telemachus did not appreciate the attention his friend was getting either, sure he’d promised not to act on his feelings, but that didn’t mean they no longer existed. Competing with a God was bad enough, now there were other princes, even kings vying for her attention. not that she showed interest.

At the end of the night Ónoma had danced more than she ever had before, being unable to refuse any of the men who’d asked because of their status. She all but ran home the second she was able to do so. she was dizzy and exhausted and promptly passed out the second her head hit the pillow, still wearing the fancy clothes and jewellery.

A/n: If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know. I might mess up, but you can always check out the tag "epic the stranger saga" as all works related are tagged with this.

I might make a spin-off/ alternate ending series, since this series is nearing the end. let me know if you'd be interested in the following:

Taglist:

@apollos-dodgeball-target

@barrythestrawberry041

@darling-eos

@doodle-with-rhy

@glaciuswduo

@hardbarbarianfox

@h0ne4bee

@isla-finke-blog

@keikeiluvyou

@missam

@suckerforblondies

@trashcannotbealive

@visha1965

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

I hope it never updates!

What can I say? Inspiration suddenly struck. I hope it continues to, but I can't make any promises.

Warning(s): the formatting of this story will be a bit different compared to my other fics (exactly how will be immediately obvious), implied self aware character, yandere first person pov, gender neutral first person pov/reader, holding someone captive technically

Hi guys!!!!!!! Sooooooooo............ this is going to be a little bit of a... different post.

So Twisted Wonderland got an update recently. It's for Cay-Cay's birthday! I was so exciteddddd (frequent readers will know how much I LOVE Cay-Cay~✩) you know me, I was r e a d y to use the keys he gave me at log-in to pull on his latest birthday banner~

Aaaaaaaand that was when my game crashed ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ 💔 it's not like it was that big of a deal, but it's still annoying!!!!

But for some reason, my game is acting strangely now...

It's not something that messes with the gameplay or anything, and it's not corrupted or broken (that I know of??? I'm so bad with tech stuff sorry >.<) I still had all my cards, so I really couldn't care less about whatever caused the crash or if it messed with anything tbh, in my mind: all's good!~✩

I logged back on and it looked like everything had saved before the crash, the game skipped the log-in bonus screen and the birthday message from Cay-Cay, and when I went back to the gacha tab I still had the tenfold key set, so everything looked okay, for now. So I pulled on Cay-Cay's platinum jacket birthday card! you've all seen how much I suffered getting the bloom birthday card last February, so I was hoping to everything that he'd come home easily this year (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)........... AND GUESS WHAT??? HE DID!! Aaaaaa guys he loves me soooo much it's unreallll♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ :D

But........... that's when the weird stuff really started. You know I've always looked for spoilers the moment a new event that includes Cater comes out, scary monsters, firelit sky, tsumsted, playful land, beans day, his club card, his birthdays... hell, even his chef and new years cards!!! I'm a fiend for Cay-Cay, I love him so much!! Honestly I don't even care if I like how the outfit looks anymore, I just loooove Cater Diamond!!!!

That's getting a bit outside the point, oopsies- The point is, I already know ALL of platinum Cay-Cay's voice lines, summon line, vignettes, home screen lines, and obviously all his battle and levelup and guest room etc lines, since those stay the same. I have everything memorized atp! So, of course I noticed when there was a completely different line than expected once he successfully came home. You know, the part of the summon that has a teeny tiny story dialogue segment?

Platinum jacket Cater is supposed to say something about how the museum he's visiting is more than a century old, then goes on about tagging a selfie. But for some reason, the line was slightly....... off??????????? It was worded differently than it should have been, and Cay-Cay didn't even say "hashtag" before saying his post tags! Can you believe that?!

Obviously I assumed it was just a translation mixup. I know twst en has that sometimes; changing a line that implies Cay-Cay is bi, getting rid of the word "master" in relation to Jamil's hypnotism, forgetting that Floyd calls Vil "betta chan senpai" (tho that mistake might also be on jp server, tbh I can't remember lol sorry Floyd but I only have eyes for Cay-Cay~♡) shit man they even called Kalim "Kamil" at one point in the endless halloween night event! With all those issues, and how the game is translated in general, I really really didn't think anything of it that Cay-Cay's summon line was a bit different than I thought it would be.

But then the weird things just....... kept happening??????? Cay-Cay's home lines were different than they should be, and some of them actually looked like they changed every single time?? But I just thought I was misreading, who wouldn't assume that?! Especially since I've been awake for two days straight---

So I just went to sleep for the night (day?) and assumed the game would be back to normal when I was back to normal!

I woke up at liiiiiike 7pm?? It's a bit hard for me to tell, I'm always in such a haze when I wake up! I'm completely conscious and safe, I just don't really know what's going on for a good hour or so after I first wake up, just how I am and how I've always been ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭ sadly this means this part won't be very coherent, but it's so vivid in my mind even despite the wakeup fog bc like..... I could NEVER have expected what I experienced.

I still needed to level up platinum Cay-Cay since I was too sleepy to earlier, so I immediately went to do that! I gave him all the honey he could ever want (I felt soooo bad since he doesn't like sweets 💔) and thanks to the birthday levelup rate bonus, I got excellent and was actually able to entirely level him to max immediately! I obviously did the same with his vignette lvl and spell lvls and buddy lvls (THANK YOU TWST EN 3RD ANNIVERSARY UPDATE 😭) and used my ssr perfumes to fully uncap him♡♡♡♡

I was sooooo happy to just have alone time with him, it feels like the game never allows that in the stories ughhhh why must Ace of all things be this game's favouriteee....... Cay-Cay deserves it so much more and I will argue that until I die ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

Sorry, sorry, back to it again! I went back to the card lvl tab, since I fully uncapped him and had to do more levelling since I forgot to uncap beforehand (silly me!) and that's when I noticed the strangest thing of all.......

The level line was....... different? And like, way too different for it to just be me not remembering the line properly. It looked like the way he speaks when he drops the act, but not trying to hide it? The text wasn't shown to be just his thoughts, it was written like he was actually speaking. The line wasn't voice acted or anything either. A voice line still plays, but it was clearly his second default levelup line, not whatever this was???

You know me. Even if it's unrealistic, I immediately assumed the worst lol, I thought someone hacked and modded my account or something!!!!! AGAIN, I know this is unrealistic so there's no need to make fun of me, I was outtttt of it :( Then, you know, panic started happening. I thought I'd get banned or something (emotions have already been really bad lately, and I did not need this stress!!)

The weird lines just kept happening after that. My panicking went away eventually, and I started realizing, none of these strange lines had proper voicing or model work, they always borrowed the voicing and model work from other normal lines. So, I could definitely tell these were completely outside the regular pool of voice lines. That made the panicking worse, sadly, since I thought more than ever that these were added by an outside force... of course I was also still worried about getting banned, but also that would mean someone was messing with my lovely precious Cay-Cay!! >:(

After the panic 2.0 -now featuring slight rage- settled, I started truly reading these weird lines. They never repeated, each one was unique. He started talking about someone "outside"???

Ahhhh, but that's when the best thing happened~♡! I said something out loud, and Cay-Cay actually directly responded with the next line!! It referenced what I said perfectly... like it couldn't have been randomly generated, or even ai (but then again, I said I don't know much about tech), it felt like someone I have conversations with regularly responding to me....

And after that, I was just so............

..happy.

That's it, I was happy.

I was happy that he was actually talking to me.

I didn't care what he was really talking about, I just knew he was.... there. And he could understand me.

Cay-Cay was speaking directly to me.

He said he was trapped in there, somehow... and he wasn't Cay-Cay, just some guy stuck using him to communicate... ehhh, he explained it all in so much detail, but if I'm being honest, I really didn't give less of a shit about what he was actually saying!

I didn't care, because he was trapped.

Cay-Cay was trapped.

He was trapped with me.

And you know what? I was happy. I was so, so happy that he was trapped.

All of you know how much I love Cay-Cay, and hey, I'll even be the first to admit that it's a liiiiiittle bit of an obsession with him. I just love him so, so much. Cay-Cay is just so important to me... he's such a perfect character..... everything about him. Everything.

I love him.

I love him so much that I'll even accept someone who just resembles him in looks alone. I can make them act like how they're supposed to.

That's why this was such a wonderful situation! I had a sentient Cay-Cay just......... literally in the palm of my hand, and I couldn't be happier.

I love him... I love him so purely, so wholely, anyone reading this will know...

It doesn't matter if Cay-Cay doesn't act like how he should yet, I can help him. That's why I don't care about his problems, he's just solved all of mine. My game is perfect now, I hope it never updates! I love him!!

Dearest readers, I'm living my fangirl dream!! I'll talk to you all later, Cay-Cay and I have a date set up tonight, and I gotta get ready~!✩

[sgiandubh]

FIRST and RIGHT

Miss Marple's Righteous Page told you very clearly a couple of days ago:

That is plain bullshit and the reason I am even mentioning it is that people do keep on asking me in DMs. This happens because some readers do not have the time/will to properly check the obvious. Tickets (or 'passes' , as the organizers call them) for the Landcon 7 (and the Landcon Scotland, this fall) have been sold out for ages:

BIF had even cackled and predicted I wouldn't even get one, as I failed to secure it when the first batch was released, back in June 2024.

Yet, I did - along with many fine shippers, back in September. Perhaps because wallets are created equal, in this case, after all?

Evidence she has no clue of what she is talking about is some more bullshit she posts with confidence:

In Landcon jargon, these are called 'extras'. They have been progressively released (so absolutely not all at once, like she implies) and some of them have -understandably - been sold out for ages, too.

A fine example:

... as compared to....

Best of it all?

They are nowhere nearly done with the guest announcements. Usually, the organizers keep the best for the last couple of weeks before the scheduled date and they always clearly and formally state when the guest list has been completed.

Nothing of the sort during the last announcement, for Lauren Lyle:

Just use your logic: why would they already announce every single guest in attendance, when they never did that and when it is clearly counterproductive to do so? Keeping the nail-biting speculation alive until the very end is their sales strategy and frankly, my dear: can you blame them?

I also predict with confidence we will have a new guest announcement, possibly even this very Friday. In fact, I have it on good authority (merci, bb, toujours 😘😘😘), this is going to be the case.

So please, Mevrouw, stop spreading lies all over the place, just because this is a particularly dry spell of Droughtlander and you seem to need the shits, clicks & giggles more than oxygen, 'mmkay?

Before being disappointed for literally nothing, kindly plan your trip with an open mind, ladies. There will be more surprises - who, I am perfectly unable to tell, as we're not privy to it, at the moment. Dare we hope for David Berry?

[lake-cosay]

this is super nitpick-y but it kills me when in fics the cosays give lake a guest room. idk if the writers are just from a very different culture or what but middle class americans don't just have an empty guest room (unless like, a family member died and they converted it or something). sure they might have an air mattress or a pull out couch but a whole ass guest room??? who can afford a house with a guest room???

not to mention the cosay's house is pretty small. i would guess 3 bedrooms max in that house and even then jesse and nate would both have pretty small rooms.

also, basements aren't common in arizona, so that's even less space for a potential guest room.

just. please. i feel like the cosays are so clearly middle class it's okay to write them as middle class. we see their house in the show and it is a small, middle class family home in a middle class suburb. technically if the lake by the house is an actual lake that would hike up the price making a house with a guest room even harder to afford!!! (though personally i think it looks more like a pond which would only have a small price increase)

tldr the cosays do not have a guest room y'all are crazy /lh

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi @cosmicluci thanks so much for this comment; I have thoughts, so I decided it would be easier to reply to this in a reblog so I’m not breaking it into loads of individual replies :)

I'm actually so glad someone asked more about this bc I wanna talk about it lol

Okay so we're all on the same page, this is the quote from the scene: The grave of the Countess Mircalla was opened; and the General and my father recognized each his perfidious and beautiful guest, in the face now disclosed to view. The features, though a hundred and fifty years had passed since her funeral, were tinted with the warmth of life. Her eyes were open; no cadaverous smell exhaled from the coffin. The two medical men, one officially present, the other on the part of the promoter of the inquiry, attested the marvelous fact that there was a faint but appreciable respiration, and a corresponding action of the heart. The limbs were perfectly flexible, the flesh elastic; and the leaden coffin floated with blood, in which to a depth of seven inches, the body lay immersed.

(Sourced from Project Gutenberg bc I read it on audiobook)

And a quick note in case anyone is unfamiliar: the lore in Carmilla is that vampires can be bound by strange, differing stipulations, and in this vampire's case she's bound by only ever being able to use her real name or an anagram of her real name. Her og human name was Mircalla and she went by the name Carmilla when we saw her during the novel.

What particularly caught me about this passage was that I just found it almost funny in how jarring this description is, having so much detail about Carmilla's body and then being like 'oh, also she was lying in SEVENTEEN AND A HALF CENTIMETRES OF BLOOD' it really caught me off guard lol.

There's nothing in this description that discounts the possibility of a little pillow specifically, but unless they scooped her out of the coffin to check her heartbeat and respiration then this probably isn't possible - oooo unless maybe they took a pulse from her throat and tracked breathing from her nose and/or mouth?

The potential buoyancy is intriguing me so I'm going to do some research into that rn -

Blood is denser than water, but minimally. According to Drology, which was the first site that came up when I searched for this, blood is approximately 1.06 g/ml, whilst water is approximately 1 g/ml.

I have found a buoyancy calculator online and am about to do some maths (why am I this invested in this? no-one knows)

According to purecremation.co.uk, the average coffin size is 60cm wide and 200 to 210cm long; let's call that 60 cm x 205 cm, which is 24 inches x 82 inches or thereabouts. So the volume of blood in the coffin was 60 x 205 x 17.5 = 215,210 cubic cm, or 0.215250 cubic metres.

Carmilla was written in 1872. We can assume Carmilla is originally from Austria (when alive) based on the context added late on in the novel about how she became a vampire, and she is also described as appearing approximately similar in age to Laura, who is 19. I have been researching this for a while now and I cannot find anything definitive on the average mass of twenty year old women in Austria in the 1870s, but I've probably already overestimated the size of her coffin because people used to be on average shorter than they are now so let's jsut assume there will be small discrepancies in this research. I found the current average mass of an Austrian woman between 18-25 was reported to be 68.1 kg, which means that she would displace 0.0681 cubic metres of volume when she lay in that volume of water or 0.0667 cubic metres of blood if she lay in blood.

The buoyancy calculator asks for the following details: the fluid type from a drop down list, the volume of displaced liquid, the mass of displaced fluid, and the gravitational acceleration (pre-set at 9.81 m/s-1). It doesn't have a blood setting, weirdly enough, but starting with if she were in water ->

A displaced mass of 68.1 kg means a buoyant force of 667.8 Newtons.

There may not be a blood setting, but you CAN manually enter a fluid density so if we change that to our 1.06 g/ml ->

the buoyant force is still equal to 667.8 N.

I have to assume there would be some differences if the number weren't rounded, but I don't think a large enough difference to account for Carmilla floating.

She may have been lighter than this, but she also may have been in a small coffin so that would mean a lower volume of blood to float on. We also have to consider that maybe there was just some weird vampire shit going on

I feel like another relevant question should be how did it not smell bad if there was a 7 inch deep pool of blood in there. I also can't remember if there was any kind of explanation for why Carmilla didn't wake up and/or put up any kind of fight during this scene and her ultimate destruction, so that's potentially also a relevant discussion

ALSO - I am not a physicist, I'm a literature-obsessed biologist, so if I am completely incorrect about buoyancy someone please correct me.

Anyway, it's just a book, I know, and a fantasy book at that, but this was fun and interesting to me. There's no hate to Carmilla here btw, if anything this has made me look even more fondly on it bc I had fun :)

Welcoming more thoughts and theories on this!

Read Carmilla today and was describing to my best friend the scene where they open the coffin and find Carmilla lying in 7 inches of blood, both of us very confused how an entire 7 inches of blood was lying in this coffin

Now we’re British so we did some quick maths and determined that 7 inches is ~17.5cm and that sounds insane so I went to find my tape measure; I couldn’t find it but I found a 4 inch/10 cm ruler

My friend lay on their back on the floor of our living room whilst I measure them with this ruler and we have determined, especially since Carmilla is described as “slender”, that if she was lying in an entire 7 inches of blood that the only thing that would be visible would be the top of her nose

This was a scientific experiment

[plusultraetc]

so I finally downloaded mhui and as predicted I am sooo confused, however I did also immediately read this as Kurogiri serving 💁‍♀️ darkness

[just-null]

Yknow that pic where that drunk lady kissed lipstick marks all over her cat? All I can imagine is doing this to the clones each time I get home

POINTS AT MY PET AU

[the pic in question!]

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 301

Ellie, during one of her stints of what do I do with my life right now, decides to, with the help of her Original Dad-Person (Look he’s aging and she’s not and it gets less questions the older he gets if he says daughter instead of sister with how the Fentons are getting older too) creates a Boo-Tube channel. No, not a Youtube channel, those are stuck to a single dimension.

Bootube on the other hand? Due to being through the Realms (and wow is Tucker getting so much income from creating it) is interdimensional. Which is so cool honestly. And she doesn’t know what to do at first, and honestly there’s already so many travel blogs that she kind of just… decided to do something that she wished someone had done for her and her brothers and Danny when she was new to the world. 

So she creates the channel CAAW: Clone Awareness, Accommodations, and Welfare. They had to learn things through trial and error, but maybe she can help someone out there learn how to find their own selves, or even help someone not melt. 

[crimson-sorrow]

Even though the vampire standing before him was half naked he didn’t lack grace or elegance, quite the opposite, the muscles moving beneath the flawless skin was a spectacle in and out of itself and it made Olrox look even more attractive. Yes, he was a vampire, grace came as natural to him as breathing came to a human, but Alucard had seldom seen anyone move with such composure and dignity. This was the confidence of a man who was very aware of his own beauty.

His beauty was obvious, but to Alucard it was also interesting to hear that Olrox’ intention hadn’t been to join the war, instead he had been led here by mere curiosity. It seemed almost impossible. Usually vampires only were interested in bloodshed and Dracula used to be the one to provide the most of it with this war he had led against humanity, and yet, what did Olrox come here for? An intellectual conversation with his father? A sightseeing tour through the infamous castle? Alucard chuckled. How peculiar.

It was the question that caught him off guard though: when had he last fed? Alucard couldn’t help but feel like this question was weirdly intimate and another blush tainted his cheeks. Embarrassed he turned his head away, suddenly being very busy with the bouquet of flowers sitting in a vase on the windowsill.

“It’s been a while.”

It was true. He never had the heart to ask his former friends to be allowed to feed on them and so he had tortured himself every day with listening to their beating hearts while his hunger only grew. In a way it had also been some kind of twisted punishment. Alucard had thought that by only nurturing his human side, maybe the loathed vampire side would fall asleep or wither away and die. Which was impossible, obviously, the monster inside him would always win. For a moment he was curious. What did Olrox see in him? Especially after the way Alucard had attacked him earlier. He didn’t dare ask.

“Come. If you have possessions hidden we should take advantage of the remaining hours of the night before the sun will confine you to the insides of the castle.”

Alucard gestured for Olrox to follow him, then strolled out of the room and down the spiral staircase, knowing the other would follow. As he led his guest down to the entrance hall he was contemplating what to do with him. Yes, there were plenty of spare rooms to choose from, they wouldn’t ever lack space, but he had not missed the look on Olrox’ face when confronted with the blood bags, or how he only emptied one despite him obviously having to be hungry. There weren’t any humans around for him to feed on and if he let Olrox go hunt in the cities nearby Alucard worried it would enrage the humans and send hunters after them. He hated the thought of hunters showing up to the castle to raid it frequently. That was something he needed to think about how to solve.

“Olrox? Tell me about your journey. I haven’t seen much of the world yet, what is it like, now that there is… peace?”

When they reached the main hall Alucard held the door open for Olrox, and the fresh air was a welcoming distraction from the stench of blood clinging to the castle and Alucard himself. For a moment he was nervous. There was no way Olrox had missed the scent of the freshly spilled human blood when Alucard had been forced to kill Sumi and Taka. For a moment he hesitated. Had he not learned anything from his previous mistake? Was he so eager to repeat it? He had just killed his friends and here he was, welcoming the next perfect stranger into his house. Oh, how the fear of solitude turned Alucard into a fool.

He couldn’t help it. The dhampir reached out to grab Olrox’ wrist, not harsh, only to make him stop before they would leave the castle together.

“Olrox. I will allow you to stay, but try to trick or betray me and that will be the last mistake you’ve ever made.”

It was a hollow warning coming from him, the broken little dhampir, and the other vampire didn’t do anything to deserve mistrust, but if this went wrong, Alucard needed to know that he at least had tried not to repeat his past mistake.

Olrox wanted to dismiss the son of Dracula as nothing but a BRUTE. Weeks and weeks of time and energy wasted crossing such a depressing land and a vast ocean. That this trip was a waste of time. He couldn't do any of those things. if Olrox actually believed himself to be in a hovel surrounded by a half-wit, he would have disappeared like smoke in the wind. This child of Dracula and a half breed no less was actually polite, civilized, and shy despite his voracious attitude. It did show that even kings and queens were just animals.

Alucard was better than those animals for the moment at least. All it took was betrayal or stupidity to lose that compliment. Betrayal was more likely than stupidity. The man was taught and well spoken. He was like a prince and his father had been the King of ALL vampires. Olrox was expressionless when he took his seat and offered blood bag. He didn't drink from things unless an emergency like crossing the sea and the humans he fed upon needed rest.

He sniffed the bags and refrained from looking disgusted. He didn't eat yet. Truthfully he was embarrassed that he had arrived so dirty but he didn't expect to find anyone alive. He was clean now but now pristine. He was partially nude and his clothes were less than ideal. Olrox was a creature of sin and looking impeccable. He didn't need to see Alucard's star fallen face to know how sad it was.

Olrox remembered THAT once -- having a home and a family. His land became full of grief, sickness, and death but that was long ago. He looked like a boy and could have been for all Olrox knew. Beautiful and sad. He did not pity him or want to comfort him. If he was immortal, this was normal; he would learn.

He continued to watch with piercing green eyes even as soft and sincere gold ones met his. It was like being met with the sun and Olrox knew his life was CHANGED. Appearance and voice of an angel cast away from God's palace. Olrox eventually did offer his hand and shook it. He didn't do that often. He retreated his hand and went to the blood bag. Now looking more casual than on edge..

“ For nothing? I will be the judge of that. I find anything in life is for nothing. In truth... I was compelled here by curiosity over loyalty. It would have been interesting.... ”

To meet THE Dracula but he sounded mad by the end of it. Alucard, his son, was just as interesting if not more.

“ But I won't shed any tears. His loss means more to you than to any other vampire dead or alive. And you are here now. ”

He finally bit into the bags, scowled a little, but then finished the bag with a few sucks. He need it. The empty bag was set down and he licked his lips; fangs glimmered bright and menacing. Alucard's fangs looked almost cute. Olrox's lips pulled into an amused smirk. Imagine that, wearing some second hand clothes. Dracula or no, Olrox wore only his own clothes. He was sure other vampires would get erect at the thought.

“ I do have a trunk of possessions hidden. If I stay here for long, I need more clothes tailored. ”

He was already making himself at home. He traveled for so long and despite his alternate forms, he had no intention of leaving just yet if he couldn't help it. He didn't get to the rest of the blood bags despite his hunger. He set his elbow on the table and propped his handsome face on his palm.

“ Temper? That was hunger. When have you last fed on a human? On a vampire? ”