#sorry I've been away so long

[goldiejake11]

source: goldiejake11

My late (as usual) Mermay submission. Hope you like it

[link-sans-specs]

Hope everyone is having a SUPER Halloween! 🎃

[gooseontheinternet]

HEY GUYS SORRY IVE BE- (immediately gets hit by a bus)

[gonnahaveabigtalklater]

also hello followers I love y'all, hope everyone is doing okay

[gongyussy]

you think YOU had a bad day at work?

bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera

[phyriaxi]

lappy alter lappy alter lappy alter !!!

[kedracka]

I'm not dead (honestly)

[wachtelspinat]

i can't help but feel like my drawing days are kind of over. not entirely, i'll still be drawing from time to time. and deffo not because i want to. but i'm having this exact same feeling since mid 2022, since i was really struggling with my elective period, i kind of disconnected with art there and never truly found my way back. on top of everything that came after - moving, starting a job and working to be good at it which leaves such little room for other things because i can't handle my life well - there is just so much horrible shit going on. and i'm having a hard time comprehending it.

a part of me also feels very stupid for drawing one thing for almost 4 years now constantly, but another part of me knows "hey, but this makes you happy". it's a constant battle in my head because online spaces are like school grounds, and i don't actually wanna stand in the corner as that one kid that just can't shut up about that one character. but then again all i ever did was drawing fanart so... what does it. who gives a shit. be cringe and be free alright. but it kinda feels so hollow, esp. when you're at it for so long. a lot of mutuals move on. some are not even active anymore anywhere. and i wonder what happened. plus a huge chunk of the tone of the fandom has changed. also with the source material getting butchered so hard (since the release of ow2) it just kills the fun. playing this game used to be fun. playing this game was one thing that helped me getting through the last meters of university. it's like watching the downfall of the simpsons again without making the comparison too set in stone, just... this thing that used to be decent and nice and watching it getting ruined in real time (broken promises about pve, the recent gameplay changes?? the lore was fucked up from the start but they kind of tried, now it's just skins for 20+ dollars) while still having feelings for the characters is shit. anyway...

i recently went through a big folder of stuff i'd drawn at the age of 12-15 and there were so many fucked up but cool monster and cyborgs designs and just silly stupid stuff and all i could think of was that i felt so distanced from it, like i don't even know i think this is normal? because a lot of time has passed and a lot has happened and i knew i've drawn all this but i wasn't able to locate the person who did in my present me now and... it's just so normal that things move constantly forward but i feel like i missed huge chunks and passed a few stops and now i'm kind of lost.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say here anymore. i just feel sad because it feels like sth is slipping out of my grasp or sth has changed tremendously and i don't know how to make damage control.

i keep trying tho, i try to draw once a week at least. it's just like as soon as i take a step back and look at it i don't feel it at all. gonna continue tho, until it makes sense again i hope.

[bananakeiky]

Mommy bird and her girls!

instagram | carrd

[azrael08]

*Crashes through your fucking window* MIDAM HEADCANONS CAUSE I HAVE INSOMNIA!!!!🤘🤘🤘 (Warning: Some Nsfw)

Michael LOVES roughhousing as a form of showing love because it reminds him of how he used to play fight in heaven with his siblings, when he did it with Adam for the first time and knocked him onto the floor he was scared because he thought that Adam would be scared of him but Adam just smiled and laughed and he was ecstatic!

Adam’s a cuddler. My personal take is that neither of them start out cuddling, they’ll go to bed a comfortable distance away each other but still close enough to know that the other one is there (Abandonment issues) (Maybe there like facing each other?) And then by morning Adam is completely on top of Michael, borderline smothering him with his limbs octopus style. Meanwhile Michael just stays stiff as a board repeating Don’t wake him up Don’t wake him up Don’t wake him up Don’t wake him up DON'T FUCKING- Over and over again in his head as Adam just tucks and nuzzles his face into his neck

Michael never understood the concept of human pleasure. Or more specifically how it felt. He only knew how it was supposed to happen cause that’s all he had been taught and of course during his ‘high and mighty’ days he would never want to watch the earth monkeys go at it, so he just didn’t care. That is until he focused on Adam’s pleasure. I personally believe that they had their whole soul-sex thing going on for a while but at one point Adam asked Michael if they could try it the human way, obviously Michael said yes and he tends to all of Adam needs immediately. But about halfway through Michael notices an overload of hormones in Adam brain and so he’s like “Adam? are you okay?” And Adam just lifts his head with the most Lust-filled zoned-out half-lidded eyes and is like “…huh?” While panting heavily. Michael now understands human pleasure.

Michael is obviously very protective of Adam. I mean he offers to smite anyone that bumps into Adam too harshly on the street. But he's especially protective around other beings that aren't human and could potentially do serious harm to Adam (Demons, other angels, etc.) This all comes to a head when Adam tags along for one of Michael's meetings in heaven. They decided that Adam would look around while Michael did his work and when his meeting was over he'd come find Adam and take them both home. Michael hadn't given a second thought because its Heaven, its his Home, of course Adam would be safe. But when Michael was finished and went searching for Adam he saw a group of younger angels - who had never visited earth and rarely seen humans - holding Adam upside down and prodding him with their wings and limbs while Adam looked visibly uncomfortable but obviously wasn't able to stop the giant angels. Michael R A G E D and seized Adam back as he basically screamed at the group of angels leaving them shaking and cowering behind their primary feathers, all that stopped him from smiting them was the fact that Adam pulled on his feathers and asked to go home, and of course Michael supplied. So, its a pretty well known fact amongst all angels that when the prince of heaven returns with his human that you - under absolutely no circumstances - go anywhere near Adam, not that Michael would ever let you considering he now holds Adam tightly to himself with a minimum of 17 eyes watching him at all times.

They binge watch terrible medical shows with vastly different opinions, Adam finds it fun to point out the medical inaccuracies and laugh at the stupid drama while Michael finds it horrifying as he learns about how many terrifying diseases humans can develop, his grace hold onto Adam a little tighter than usual when they watch, the only reason he keeps watching is because Adam enjoys it and he can't say no to those eyes.

Michael gets lost in pleasure when he and Adam are intimate and he sometimes snarls and growls deep and all angel like. He trys not to because it might freak out Adam. It does freak out Adam, but in a good way :)

[spookygibberish]

Dogstock are typical of what are often deemed the ‘evil’ races in many other fantasy works. They were created by some higher force to be slaves, they are carnivorous by nature, they resemble animals other than human in dentition and build. They growl and bite and walk behind.

The Uhasr (a dogstock culture) are descendants of such slave-infantry that was abandoned when the empire that used them to capture the steppes decided the land wasn’t so profitable after all, and more pressing matters drew their attention elsewhere. Like tools left spent on the ground, the unneeded, excess dogstock were left to survive on their own in Hochkiskuph. The native peoples, of course, did not welcome them any more, or see them any less as oppressors when the hand released the lead. To the Hochkiskuph peoples, the Uhasr are a predatory ghost, an echo that consumes them even in absentia. To the Uhasr, one human is much like another, differing in number and equipment, but never in essence. Uhasr are a species of wild animal with a human face. Humans are prey on two legs. Humans smoke and poison uncovered dens on principle, Uhasr abduct and consume men and women and children all the same.

A common trend I have noticed in media which aims to humanize monsters, is that it often relies on passivity. Humanity is contingent upon kindness. The monster that is A Person only so long as they are a harmless thing at heart, something which can be understood and befriended. Their violence is reluctant, their hearts noble. Grace is a concession to the dominated. Only the toothless beast, declawed and pinioned and caged, is one which has earned its personhood. The ontological enemy supersedes the ontological man.

[fidgetspringer]

This is going to interest exactly no one except myself, but still.

We've all seen the chaos that is the Flight Radar right?

That's a lot of planes.

But are you ready for the insanity that is the Ship Radar?

Because it's nuts.

(Red are tankers, green are cargo.)

And if you watch for long enough you'll start to realise some vessels do some weird things. Like this tiny tug boat that has been doing exactly this for going on three days straight.

You good??

[aroonescape]

wip of iii

[prolix-yuy]

Hello friends! It's been way way way way WAY too long since we chatted, and to be honest I've been taking an embarrassingly long time to write this update post because godDAMN life just gets you sometimes and you go on an impromptu hiatus that gets super messy. So let's get into what's been going on and what to look forward to!

Pedro Tax for this long-ass post.

(We're gonna get into some personal stuff, but if you're just here for what's coming up skip down to WHAT'S NEXT for the tl;dr version)

So beyond work getting hectic from January to March, which was the catalyst for everything getting wacky, I experienced a weird emotional turn that I wasn't expecting. It made me get a little introspective, which I blame some of my productivity slump on.

As I was finishing up the Bangathon entries, I noticed a sharp decline in interaction. I'm a fairly young fic writer on Tumblr, but I was a little baffled as to why stories I'd posted only a week before got a nice bit of interaction yet the newer ones were only getting half to a quarter of what I expected. For a minute I thought I had been shadowbanned (I was not) or I hadn't tagged the posts (I had) or my taglists weren't working (they were). People were already talking about interaction being lower, so I sat back and tried to go with the flow and not let it bother me. I posted Decoherence, which has a more niche audience, but I was definitely missing and wishing for some of the comments and reblogs I thought I might get.

All this led up to one of the least favorite voices in my head saying something that stuck around:

"Well, you were right not to become a writer if your motivation is this closely tied to feedback."

If you're new here or I haven't talked about it much recently, I initially was planning to be a writer. Went to school for it and everything. While I was there I felt like I hadn't found the stories I wanted to tell yet. My colleagues were developing in their niches and writing "the great American novel" and I didn't feel like I fit in. My stories had a lukewarm reception, and I never felt like anyone was excited about anything I was trying to say. So I wrote myself into burnout by the time I graduated with not much to show for it. I ended up doing a career switch, which I love to this day, but I stopped writing for almost 10 years.

Coming to Tumblr, I felt that spark of excitement writing again, and some of that was definitely due to people commenting and being excited or interested in the stories I was sharing. That truly revived something in me I thought was long gone, and reflecting back on the last two years that I've been sharing stories with this community makes me wildly emotional. I didn't know how much I missed of the life I left behind, and how much joy it brought me to share stories again.

Which is why it was SUPREMELY FRUSTRATING to have that shitty little voice pulverize my productivity and excitement over something as silly as interaction. But I'm sure most of you know how hard it is to get that voice out of your head. I worked to write things I found fun and less stressful than the series I already felt bad for not updating. And while I still love those stories, it felt like I was pulling them from an inauthentic place and finishing them wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Thus the hiatus! I stopped writing and turned my attentions to consuming and creating in other ways. I watched some shows I'd been meaning to catch up on, started planning to buy a house, worked my butt off at the day job. And I was starting to feel like inspiration was coming back. I didn't want to spook it so I took my time and promised myself I was going to start small and not stress about getting stories out for a bit.

Top that off with some medical surprises, an upcoming surgery, and a little re-evaluation of life moving forward and things have been wild. But I've been missing the daily joy I get from being part of this fandom, and I'm getting back into being here more because I miss you guys! AND! I have stories I want to share and fun to be had. So let's shake off all the heavy shit and get to the fun stuff!

WHAT'S NEXT!

The big thing I'm getting ready to post (after teasing it for so long) is the 2024 Bangathon! This one is different from last year's because instead of requesting stories from me, the Bangathon is open to anyone who wants to participate! There will be a randomizer to play with, and some fun bonuses for those who participate. The announcement will be coming out soon, stay tuned!

As for fics, here are some updates on what's in my WIPs:

Series:

I Think of You: I spent some time rewatching Mando for the newest installment, and I've finally gotten the thread of where to go next thought out. It's been a long time coming so this one's gonna be BEEFY to make up for it.

SW!Frankie: I am crushed to realize it's been over a year since I posted any SW!Frankie! I've got a new story about him and Ms J moving in together I need to finish, then some more asks that are getting into new story arcs I'm excited to share!

Best Laid Plans: Dieter and Murch's first date is bouncing around in my head and I NEED to get it on paper. There's much fun to be had, and I've been binge listening to my playlist for them to get into the headspace.

Midnight Alley: I got all up in my own head about continuing the story with these two and lost a little steam, so I'm going to ease off my "big plans" and start smaller with some oneshots instead. I think it'll help me find out where I want this story to go.

One Shots in Progress:

Decoherence Follow-Up

Incubus!Dieter Ask

You know, laying it out like that makes it feel much more manageable than my brain was telling me! I'm also planning to prioritize more fic reading while I'm getting these updates in ship-shape. Reading your stories always helps get my creative juices flowing, and there are so many good ones lingering in my TBR list that I need to devour.

This has been a rollercoaster of emotions, so thank you for coming on the ride with me. I'm excited to bring more of myself back to Tumblr and have fun with all of you again! To many more stories!

[bring-cringe-back]

Okay I might just be reading too much into this. But while I was watching the episode *cough cough* procrastinating *cough cough I realised that they don't show how the Doctor and Ruby got there.

And I know that it's probably just meant to be vaguely like 'they just went for fun'.

BUT this is the third episode in a row where we haven't seen them arrive. And for 73 yards it was clearly a doctor who episode when it started but it immediately gets rid of the doctor. ( I know that for 73 yards and for dot and bubble it was because Ncuti Gatwa was filming other stuff but let me cook) In Dot and Bubble you could effectively be forgiven for assuming that it was a random Black Mirror episode or something similar until the Doctor turns up, and tbh if you were just flicking through channels and haven't been watching Doctor Who you could probably basically not know for much longer. In Rogue they are just there, except for the title screen (the same for dot and bubble) you could basically watch it as a Bridgerton episode until the Chuldur turn up.

(And there's whole other rant about how the Chuldur fits into the theory about this basically being a TV show within a TV show, I don't know the name for this theory)

But anyway these episodes are increasingly separated from the Doctor and Ruby as plot points particularly in the beginning of episodes. They are more and more like an excuse to tell the story or explore the topic that the writers want to explore. Which isn't totally different from the occasional episode of previous series, but this is a lot more in my memory at least from previous series. So it feels a lot like they are skimming over the more sci-fi doctor who elements. Which fits in in my mind to the idea that the 'One who waits' is a representation of story telling. I've seen theories that it's Ruby but she doesn't know it which makes sense, I think it would also make sense for it to be her parent(s) who left her, or alternatively just it's own thing all together. But it feels very like that bit where Amy is living a life and starts to realise it's all fake.

The narrowing down of these episodes into not showing them arriving, and at least in Rogue - I can't remember in the others - not showing them leaving the story, feels very different.

It feels more and more like story telling. They have covered fairy tales, Period pieces/Romance, Dystopia, War/SciFi, Musicals, Political Drama. They are also showing the doctor playing his role, something that we see companions doing often enough but we seldom see the doctor doing it.

In Space Babies he is scared of a new creature. In the Devil's Code he sings a song that makes little sense in the story, he doesn't question the road making noise. In Boom he's more himself but it's also the closes to his 'normal' environment. In 73 Yards they just fully remove him from the story, which I realise was done for filming requirements but would have been so interesting to see the doctor in a Political drama. In Dot and Bubble he plays the role of the outsider bringing information to those living under a Dystopia, how is he UNABLE to access the inside, sure he plays a role that's fairly similar to himself but Doctor Who is really Dystopian.

In Rogue he is becoming more and more his role, he is playing the role of a sort of Elizabeth Bennet style character, a strong romantic interest for the brooding man. Which is great, he makes fun of the genre, but he is hyper aware of the genre and still ends up in its pitfalls. He trusts a man so quickly he ends up handing over his sonic, he gets proposed to and basically immediately accepts. Now I am really hoping that Rogue gets to stay around I really liked him as a character, regardless of which theory of his identity if any are true. But the Doctors reaction to him is still a little out of character, he is feeling what he is SUPPOSED to feel and he is acting how he is SUPPOSED to act.

It just feels to me like an increasing number of these episodes are more and more story like and more and more separated from the more Doctor Who elements. And the lack of an introduction of how they get there, and the lack of them leaving in the TARDIS is so unusual to me and stands out to my brain so much.

It feels like they are removing elements that don't fit the genre. Anyway not sure if that makes any sense but I'm vibing with it.

[ask-enchantingdelights]

SUMMARY OF O.W.L ARC

🌻MOD NOTE BELOW🌱

Hello again everybody, sorry for going MIA again.

So...I left off in the middle of this (SHORT) arc, and because I was gone for so long, I felt like making a summary page was maybe in order. This way, it acts as a nice transition back to my posting, and people who follow here can catch up on what's going on in one quick bite. I myself usually feel overwhelmed when coming back to a blog because of everything I missed or don't remember, so I thought making something like this would help people like me!

While this post summarizes the stuff I deem important to know the gist of whats going on, I encourage people to look back at the posts so you don't miss out on the things in between (or dont, im not ur DAD).

My inbox will be closed for a short while so I can answer REALLY OLD ASKS (IM SORRYYY), but once everything is in order we'll be back in business baby! Things may also look a little different in the future in terms of art, so I hope the contrast isn't too much. Thank you so much for reading this far, I hope to catch up with everything I've missed, and that you enjoyed this little recap episode lmao.

Credits to @askthepaldeanpassenger for script editing and overall assistance <3