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a-tiny-atiny · 4 years ago

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Coming of Age (Seonghwa x Reader)

Request: Hello! I would like to request a seonghwa bestfriends to lovers au and make it kinda angsty kshdh thank you very much💕

A/N: thank you so much for my first request! i hope i do it justice! feel free to request anything else~

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.9k

“Hwa? ...Hello? Earth to Seonghwa?”

Seonghwa is snapped out of his trance-like daydream when a hand waves in front of his face. He stares with wide eyes at the offender who is none other than Hongjoong, looking at him with a disapproving gaze. “Sorry,” he says immediately, trying to come back to the present. “What were you saying?”

Hongjoong rolls his eyes. This has been pretty par for the course recently, Seonghwa surmises, judging from his friend’s reaction. “I was talking about what we might want to do over winter break,” Hongjoong explains. “I was thinking maybe you, me, and (y/n) could go to the city for a week or two. She already agreed so I’m just waiting on you.”

Oh, that’s what this is about. No wonder Seonghwa completely checked out.

Seonghwa likes to think that he’s good at hiding his feelings for you. After all, none of his friends, including Hongjoong, know the way he feels about you. And he’s felt this way ever since you were kids, so it’s easily his best-kept secret.

Things started taking a turn for the worse, however, when Hongjoong started expressing that he might have feelings for you. It was a few months ago now and nothing much has come from it other than a lot of worrying and overthinking on Seonghwa’s part. He knows that Hongjoong would let it go if he knew how he felt about you, but there is some part of him that can’t bring himself to tell him. What if it messes things up? What if it ruins the friendship between the three of you? What if things are never the same again?

Seonghwa can handle you not having feelings for him. It’s been this way for years, after all. What he can’t handle is you never being friends with him again. And he knows that is a very real risk if he decides to tell you about his feelings for you.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa says, responding to Hongjoong’s suggestion with a forced smile. “That sounds fun.” It sounds like he’s going to be the third wheel again, but he doesn’t mind. At least he’ll still be able to spend some time with his best friend and his crush.

It’s not like Hongjoong has made a move on you yet. He’s still thinking about what to do, he told Seonghwa before. Some part of him is grateful for that and another part just wants to get it over with. “Just break my heart already,” he wants to say. But he can’t, because that might ruin things. And ruining the friendship he has with you is worse than seeing you and Hongjoong together.

And if that means he has to hide his feelings forever, so be it.

A week passes, and winter break can’t seem to come soon enough. As much as you love your university major, you are in desperate need of a break. Spending some time away in the city with your two best friends sounds like a dream come true right now.

As soon as you finish packing the last of your clothes into a suitcase, you hear a knock at the door. “Come in!” you say loudly enough for the person to hear it, though you have a feeling you already know who it is.

Unsurprisingly, a familiar face peeks through the doorway with a smile. “Hey, (y/n)!” Seonghwa says, looking as excited for this trip as you are. “Hongjoong and I are waiting for you in the car whenever you’re ready. I already called shotgun.”

You groan and pout playfully. “But I wanted shotgun! Sitting in the back like a little kid is no fun.” Before Seonghwa has a chance to confirm the fact that you’re basically a little kid anyway, you say, “You’re so mean, Hwa.”

He just laughs as you get your belongings together and head to the car. “You know you love me,” he says, teasing you. It’s been like this ever since you were kids, and you doubt that’s going to chance anytime soon.

“Duh,” you say. “You’re my best friend.”

You walk out the front door and head to the car where Hongjoong is waiting in the driver’s seat before you notice Seonghwa’s smile quickly fall. But as soon as you turn back around to ask if he’s coming, he plasters the smile back on his face and nods, going to sit in the passenger’s seat.

“Road trip time!” Hongjoong says in an attempt to get the two of you excited, though there isn’t much work that needs to be done. It’s been such a long few months and this vacation is just what you need. It couldn’t come sooner. “Everyone ready? Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

You giggle at this which makes Seonghwa feel...something. He isn’t sure what. Jealousy? No, that can’t be it. Why would he get jealous of his two best friends just joking around with each other? It can’t be that...can it? “Let’s get going,” Seonghwa says in a tone that he hopes is playful rather than demanding.

Most of the trip is fun but relatively uneventful. The three of you play games, listen to music and sing along, and periodically spend time on your phones (minus Hongjoong). You’re all having a good time and Seonghwa can see that.

Something of importance does happen, however, when the three of you make your first stop at a gas station. After Hongjoong finishes getting gas, you offer to go into the convenience store to get some snacks. “I’ll get us some chips,” you say. “Anyone want anything else?” When both Hongjoong and Seonghwa shake their heads respectfully, you smile with a short nod and head into the store.

It’s quiet in the car with just Hongjoong and Seonghwa. It’s like there is some kind of tension between them, and Seonghwa supposes there is. Neither of them want to speak first, but Hongjoong evidently decides to break the uncomfortable silence and get it out with. “You like her,” he says.

This catches Seonghwa off-guard. He knew they were both probably thinking about it, but he never thought Hongjoong would actually blurt it out like that. Still, it’s not like he can lie to his best friend. “...Yeah,” he says after a moment, exhaling deeply. “I do.”

Hongjoong nods, his expression unreadable. Seonghwa can’t tell if he’s angry or hurt or...anything. He just stares ahead blankly. For a minute, he almost thinks Hongjoong isn’t going to say anything at all. But then, yet again, he surprises Seonghwa by saying, “Then you should tell her.”

Before Seonghwa can even protest, Hongjoong holds up a hand to prevent him from saying anything else. “It’s okay. You don’t have to lie, Hwa, you won’t be hurting my feelings. But I see the way you look at her. You’ve looked at her like that for as long as I can remember and I’ve only just realized that...you love her, don’t you?”

Seonghwa freezes. What should he even say to that? Hongjoong has feeling for you too, right? So why is he saying this? “I-I do,” he says, the confusion evident on his face. “But why are you encouraging me? I thought you liked her too.”

“I do,” Hongjoong admits a bit shyly. “But...it’s not the same way you do. I just recently started to see her as something more. I realize now that you’ve seen her that way for, well...forever.” He looks at Seonghwa, but there isn’t any hint of sadness in his eyes, only happiness. It’s like he already supports you and Seonghwa wholeheartedly. “I’ve been in love before, and this isn’t love. It’s just a crush. But I can tell that you love her, so why would I stop you from going after the person you love?”

Seonghwa sits in silence for a moment, thinking about everything that’s just happened. He knows you’ll be back from the convenience store in just a few minutes, so he has to make this quick. “Thank you,” he says. “Truly.” He gives Hongjoong an appreciative smile, which Hongjoong reciprocates with a friendly punch on the arm.

“No more of that sappy stuff, okay?” he says, trying to lighten the mood. “And if you don’t tell her how you feel while we’re on this trip, I’m going to punch you for real.”

“Oh no,” Seonghwa says in mock fear, “not the wrath of Hongjoong! Anything but that!” The two of them dissolve into a fit of laughter just as you arrive back in the car with a few snacks.

“What’s so funny you guys?” you ask, completely oblivious to the situation. Hongjoong just shakes his head and says “nothing,” so you shrug it off.

“Home sweet home!” Hongjoong says as soon as the three of you walk into the condo you rented for a few days. “Let’s get all of our stuff unpacked and then we’ll get something to eat, okay?”

He always steps into leadership positions, you think. Hongjoong is the type of person who is a natural leader, but Seonghwa is more like an older brother. He’s kind and caring and attentive, but he still knows how to have fun without being too high-strung. You couldn’t ask for a better pair of best friends.

It takes a while for everyone to unpack, but you get the job done. Hongjoong immediately heads into the room he claimed as his own and takes a nap after the long drive here. You and Seonghwa, however, decide to relax on the balcony.

“It’s really nice out here,” you say with a smile on your face that Seonghwa thinks is absolutely gorgeous. “Wanna sit and watch the sunset for a bit?” He nods and the two of you sit next to each other. You tentatively reach out to hold his hand, so he takes it.

“It’s so cool that we get to have a proper vacation together,” Seonghwa says, “just the three of us. I feel like we haven’t been able to spend that kind of quality time that we used to when we were kids.”

You nod and look out at the city. “Yeah,” you say. “But there are things that we can do now that we weren’t able to when we were kids.”

“Really?” Seonghwa asks, not really believing you. He misses the freedom of childhood and adolescence where you had endless time to spend playing with each other and his main worry was homework. “Like what?”

You think for a moment if you are ready to do what you are thinking you’re about to do. It might change everything between you and Seonghwa forever, and not necessarily in a good way. What if your friendship with him is ruined? Well...that’s a risk that you’re willing to take.

Instead of answering his question, you lean over and take him by surprise by kissing him passionately before he even has a chance to react. You feel the sparks instantly and you hope he does too. Evidently he does, because he leans into the motion and begins to kiss you back. You rake your hands through his hair as you lean even further into the kiss, teasing at his lips with your tongue.

After what feels like a lifetime, you finally pull away and he stares at you with something akin to shock. “(y-y/n), I don’t...” he begins with a stutter, trying to wrap his head around what just happened between you and him, “what was that?”

You shrug shyly and look away from his questioning gaze. “Well, you asked what we could do now that we weren’t able to do when we were kids. We definitely weren’t able to do that, now were we?”

Seonghwa chuckles lightly, reminded of why he loves you so much. “No,” he says, smiling, “we definitely weren’t.”

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luci-cunt · 5 years ago

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An incomprehensive guide to why you should read T.J Klune’s book Wolfsong

Mostly for my very best friend in the whole wide world: @moonsandstarsaregay <33 and with 100% too many AFtG references i’m sorry

*AHEM*

A plot summary: Ox has been told his whole life he’s slow and gonna get shit for it. He lives in a sleepy little nowhere town in Oregon and is perfectly content never leaving and working in the garage for the rest of his life. His dad sucks, his mom’s a gem, and one day the house that’s (almost) always been empty at the end of the street gets filled by a family that’s just a little on the wrong side of weird–the Bennetts. They all immediately fall in love with Ox because he’s literally the most perfect mc you’ll ever meet, and he learns that not everyone actually sucks he’s just been looking at the wrong people.

And so what if they’re also a very powerful and well known werewolf pack–I mean WHATTTTTT

There’s monster fighting, drama, adventure, romance(*), adventure, angst (Oh GOD is there angst), badassary, and just so much good shit.

The Main Character:

I could talk just about how Ox is portrayed until the day I DIE. He doesn’t have an arc where he magically becomes ‘normal’ or anything, instead he just surrounds himself with people that treat him better and finds that he doesn’t need to change. He has a heart of gold and does kind things just because he is kind. He’s the definition of a soft giant, and again, the book starts and he’s roughly 10ish (with flashbacks to younger) and it ends with him in his late 20s early 30s so he definitely grows and matures but he doesn’t change because he doesn’t NEED to.

[More reasons to read + warnings/ disclaimers + a snippet below cut so I don’t bother y’all with a hella long post XD

You should probs read the warnings before you read the book just FYI]

Writing Style: If the style of the Knife of Never Letting Go intrigued you but you couldn’t get past the first chapter then this is the book for you. Ox is a bit simple–In the best way possible–and the book is from his perspective. His thoughts are stated outright and he takes most things people say very literally. This doesn’t change and that’s the best part. I LOVE this about it and I was TERRIFIED that Klune was going to write Ox in this style for only the first couple chapters and then suddenly switch to him being some snarky genius, but he doesn’t!!! Honestly idk how to describe it, you’ve just got to read it.

If that doesn’t convince you:

- First of all, werewolves, who doesn’t love em?

- Second of all gays, like, everyone, no one is straight. That one side character who shows up once? Yeah, no, she shows up twice and the second time she has a girlfriend. The main characters? All gay, and if they aren’t gay in this book they will be in the next one.

- FOUND FAMILY

- It’s basically AFtG but gayer and softer? but not??

- Very realistic characters, they make stupid mistakes and people react accordingly

- Kelly and Carter and literally the best things in the world I would fucking murder for both of them and I’m pretty sure Kelly is confirmed by the author to be ace (btw they aren’t twins so you can’t even accuse me of being in love with every blond and kinda tragic set of twins I come across fuck off XD)

- OX STATES VERY BLATANTLY THAT HE IS BISEXUAL

- Very endearing coming out scenes

- Gordo Livingstone is perfect in just about every way and he’s also like if Neil and Seth were combined and grew up to be Wymack. ajsdf;lk just a dumbass gay trying really hard to be a good dad while also vehemently denying it. (Oh and yeah he literally had a boyfriend who he’s currently pissed at so)

- MC is not a genius and that’s not treated like a bad thing

- Please just read it I need more people to scream about it with me

Some warnings:

- it’s werewolves, there’s gore, obsessive use of the word “alpha” and lots of wolf-ish tendencies. Most of it comes across as fucking adorable, but ngl, sometimes it’s just a tad weird.

- people have v tragic backstories. None of it is worse than AFtG but it’s still very intense, more on the side of gore/ violence/ some torture than heavy non/con but there’s some mentions of that. (More vague allusions/ threats rather than graphic scenes don’t worry)

- *the only thing that really wigged me out about these books is the fact that the main couple have a 6 year age difference. Any way you spin that it’s weird, but I think it was handled as well as you can??? (idk man I’m still wigged out about that even tho they don’t actually DO anything until both of them are in their twenties but STILL)

- it is VERY angsty. I mean, the soft moments are SICKENINGLY soft and there’s some of the best comedy/ cute shit I’ve ever seen but–god the ouch stuff HURTS. If you don’t want to cry over a book I wouldn’t recommend reading this.

In conclusion:

If you wanted LGBT adventure content here it is!!! I mean, if it’s the sex scenes you’re about (or against XD) there’s only really two, one is the epilogue and one is about 2/3rds through the book but from what other people who actually understand sex say it’s NICE XDD also just a very nice character moment? I didn’t read all of it but from what I read it was v nice, they’re wholesome and stupid, I love them.

I actually really liked the romance? It’s v realistic and got the vibe of “neither of us have good self-confidence but I will DIE proving to you that you’re worth the entire world.” There’s very, very sappy and drawn out declarations of love, it’s adorable, sometimes a little weird (looking at you Joe), but altogether wholesome. There’s also a wee bit of possessiveness but it’s mostly(?) treated as the “uuuuhhhh, that’s not gonna go over well you need to chill” trait it should be.

It’s intense, and the last time I physically could not stop reading and stayed up all night just to finish a book was AFtG so...

It is quite a bit longer than AFtG tho, like, it took me the same amount of time to read just Wolfsong that I read all three of the AFtG books in. Sometimes it drags a little, especially in the middle, but it’s all worth it. Also if you don’t like drawn out “you will apologize on my terms because you fucked up on yours” kinda things I don’t think this is for you.

I loved it, the characters are to die for and the villains make my blood boil. I cried, and laughed and sobbed and screamed. 12/10

Here’s a lil bit to give you a taste:

Here’s a link to the Goodreads page if you want more details

And here’s a link to where you can buy the book ;)

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sintupperware · 5 years ago

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Found your blog from another Newsies blog and i’m pretty new with Bandstand and Newsies and was wondering if you had headcanons for either •_•

bandstand has been my main interest for the past week so i’ll gladly share some of my bandstand ones!!

- ok hi grady is 9 and was born in 1936 and emily is 3 and was born in 1939 because “faced with rasing kids who did not recognize their dad” (9 and and 6 during the current events of bandstand so 1945)

- julia and johnny? yeah besties. she never gets annoyed when he retells a story (even the jeep one) because she just doesn’t wanna make him feel like he’s annoying or a burden, but the others kinda just roll their eyes and julia gives the glare that’s like don’t say anything 😒😡.

- jimmy has a cat because i said so sorry not much else on that one.

- we’re gonna get a little angsty here but occasionally at band rehearsal donny will realize that it’s johnny and not michael playing the drums and get real angry and sappy for a minute.

- ok yeah this is kinda canon but not really because it wasn’t in the broadway version but jimmy had a boyfriend and he was on the ship that exploded and he just had to live with that, that he made it out but his boyfriend didn’t. (yeah it was 1945 and being gay wasn’t acceptable yet but it was on the down low)

- his boyfriends name was andrew.

- johnny has just a whole hat collection and that’s okay.

- davy does lighten up on the drinking because he finds the tour and the band as a distraction but he doesn’t quit.

- donny plays accordion, piano, and the bongos because i feel like michael taught him at some point and just 🥺💓💕💓💕💓.

- nick and wayne got closer (platonic guys i stg) after he moved in and they just became very good friends and learned to deal with and tolerate each other.

- they all boycott aspirin sorry.

- ALSO julia likes baking she knows what baking can do™️.

#ask sara #is my brain huge #bandstand #bandstand musical #bandstand broadway #jimmy campbell #johnny simpson #davy zlatic #donny novitski #julia trojan #wayne wright #nick radel

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archiesms · 5 years ago

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these nights (9)

word count: 7.9k 😗👉🏼👈🏼

warnings: character death (mentioned), small smut, general angsty-ness

summary: jeno didn’t think about his childhood often. on rare occasion he would reflect, he remembered why he tried to forget in the first place.

If there’s one thing Jeno remembered most from his childhood, it was the way his sister hugged him. He found it annoying once he got older, but the gap in ages led Jeno to enjoy being held by Jieun. She usually smelled like whatever she cooked that day, and once he was older and able to buy her gifts, she smelled like the perfume he bought her.

Jeno used to be afraid of the dark when he was younger, always asking his older sister to leave the light on or to stay with him until he fell asleep. Jieun would recite countless stories for hours sometimes, not realizing that she was invested in her own story until she saw Jeno drooling by her side. By that point, she was tired herself, and she would fall asleep too.

By the time Jeno was nine and his sister was 17, she had met Johnny who was a year and a half older than her. He was jealous initially, the fact that Jieun payed attention to Johnny more than him. It took months to convince Jeno to be his friend too, learning to enjoy the giant’s presence the same as his sister’s. Johnny was a lot like the older brother he never had, not to mention, Johnny was the one who taught Jeno how to shave—a ceremonious rite of passage that Jeno was afraid he would have to learn to do himself.

After their father’s death and their mother’s disappearance, Jeno moved in with his sister and his boyfriend, settling for a very cramped apartment at the time and even more cramped with the sudden pregnancy of his sister. Jeno remembers scrunching his nose at the smell of diapers and the dark bags under his eyes from being woken up by the cries of an infant, but he got used it the older Hyunwoo got and the more he was able to sleep through the night.

Jeno was sixteen when Jaemin offered to move in with him in their home, which was something he thought through very seriously before accepting. Jaemin’s dad was always nice to Jeno, not to mention, their home was more than spacious, Jaemin’s room alone could probably house the both of them comfortably.

He ended up agreeing, what with Jieun’s second pregnancy including twins this time around, Jeno know there would barely be any room from him then.

He saw Jieun less often then, always so busy with her children afterwards and Jeno with school. He’d see her during the holidays, and she would always offer to cook him something before he left, even though she knew that Jaemin’s maids would cook him something if he asked. Most of the time Jeno would stay anyway, taking home left over food to share with Jaemin and later Jisung the older he got.

It was always then, when they were eating Jieun’s food, that he realized how much he had missed living in a cramped apartment with his sister and now brother-in-law. It was simpler then, believe or not, the only thing Jeno had to worry about was whether or not Hyunwoo would sleep through the night in order for Jeno to get his own hours.

But it’s changed as they’ve grown. Jieun and Johnny no longer lived in a cramped apartment the more Johnny worked for Jaehyun and his father. They lived comfortably and Jieun would always be waiting on the couch for him whenever he texted her that he was coming over, patting the spot next to her with a smile, as she would play with either Hyunwoo, Taesoo, or Taewoo.

It was a Friday night, when all the kids were asleep, including their newest, Goeun, that Jeno came over, a bit under the weather and lonely. He sat on Jieun’s couch and watched his sister curl in her husband’s side, yawning as they aimlessly watched a movie while dinner cooked in the background. Johnny’s phone ranged and he got up to answer it, causing Jieun to pout before putting her attention to Jeno, who was staring at the floor.

“You okay?” She had asked him, poking his thigh. “Did you and Jaemin get in a fight recently?”

Jeno smiled but shook his head, “no. I just…feel weird.”

“Are you sick? Are you coming down with something?” She continued her questioning as she placed her hands all over his face to check for a fever. Jeno sighed and removed her hands.

“No, not like that,” Jeno bit his lip before he continued. “Can I ask you something, noona?”

Jieun furrowed her eyebrows but nodded nonetheless, “of course, anything.”

“You and Johnny hyung got married right after you found out you were pregnant. How did you know it was going to work?”

Jieun took her time to answer, looking around pensively before she shrugged, “I didn’t. I kind of just took the chance.”

Jeno scoffed, “you just aimlessly married someone without knowing they were the love of your life?”

“I knew that Johnny was the love of my life the second I saw him, Jeno,” she narrowed her eyes. “But that’s something you say when you’re young, when you’re a kid who found someone you want to be around all the time. If I’m around Johnny all the time I might fucking kill him.”

Jeno laughed, “then why did you marry him?”

“Because I love him. Because he makes me happy, a better person, he’s a good dad, and he makes me laugh when he’s home and makes me cry when he’s not.”

“That’s enough for you to marry someone?”

Jieun shook her head, “you don’t get it. When you meet the love of your life, I’m going to make fun of you relentlessly, Jeno. I hope you know that. I’m going to tell her that you’re afraid of the dark.”

Jeno threw a pillow at her, “I’m not a kid anymore!”

“Jaemin told me you still hold his hand when you sleep together, you fucking baby.” Jieun grinned, “I’m going to tell her that you had to have your older sister tell you stories to go to sleep.”

“Fine! Tell her! If she loves me then she won’t care!” Jeno huffed, “maybe she’ll tell me stories too, do you ever think about that?!”

Jieun laughed. Jeno watched as her eyes glinted with something, something that made him feel uneasy. Jeno furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, “what?”

“Nothing,” she said softly, pulling him in for an embrace. “I love you, Jeno.”

“You’re going to make me sick,” Jeno gagged. “Are you getting sappy on me because another girl is going to tell me bedtime stories?”

Jieun slapped the top of his head, “yes. That’s exactly why I’m sad.”

“I’ll stay over on Sunday, and you can tell me a story if that’ll make you feel better. Me, Hyunwoo, the twins, and Goeun will have a sleepover.”

“Promise?”

Jeno nodded, “you can have all your children with you.”

Jieun laughed, “you really are my child, huh?”

“I’m technically your first born, except, I’m not.”

“Don’t tell Hyunwoo, he gets jealous over that kind of thing.”

Jeno laughed, holding onto his sister until Johnny came back into the room.

Little did Jeno know, he would never have the chance to hear his sister’s stories again, as the accident happened the very next morning before Johnny went to work. Jeno remembered feeling sick when Jaemin told him, and angry at Jaehyun for not telling him first. Jaemin had to hold him back then, his curses into screams as Jaehyun only kept his head down.

Jeno doesn’t remember where he went afterwards, and especially didn’t remember reaching their old home. He sat on the front steps and sobbed, sobbed until he felt sick, sobbed until he vomited. If it weren’t for his weak knees, he would’ve been able to fight Jaemin off when he came to pick him up, but Jeno didn’t care anymore. He was placed in the car gingerly, Jaemin holding his hand tightly.

The funeral was a short ordeal, short for him at least, as he didn’t even stay the entire time. He refused to watch her pictures surrounded in wreaths of flowers, he refused to see her anywhere except on the same spot in the couch. He refused to stay anywhere in Seoul.

It was sudden. Jeno took advantage of everyone at the funeral to pack his things, the only person he happened to bump into was Jaemin’s father, who gave him a questioning look.

“Where are you going, Jeno?”

Jeno paused. Where was he going? Anywhere in Korea he would be reminded of his sister, whether it be in Seoul or Jeju, he would never find peace here.

“I don’t know.”

Jungmo nodded, reaching into his pocket and grabbing a few large bills and handing them to the younger boy. “I have a friend, in Maine. He owes me a favor. Lee Hyunshik.”

Jungmo held his shoulder and squeezed it tightly, “I’m sorry, Jeno. I’m sorry this is all I can do for you.”

Jeno hadn’t noticed tears rolling down his eyes before Jungmo patted his head. “I won’t tell anyone where you are, just promise me you’ll be safe.”

Jeno nodded, “thank you. This is more than enough.”

Jungmo offered a weak smile and let go of his shoulder, watching Jeno leave the front door of his home. What a harsh reality for Jeno, not knowing that this would be the last time he would also see Jungmo.

Jeno liked Maine. It didn’t look anything like Korea, it was different, everyone around him looked different. It took him a week to contact Lee Hyunshik, another dirty fiend who did his fair share in executing for Jungmo in the states, however, to save face Jeno was only allowed to call him Lee.

Lee lived in a large Cape Cod home close to the sea, with no one to bother him except him and his three dogs. Jeno had learned to take allergy pills due to his sensitivity to dog hair, but regardless enjoyed their attention.

Lee, very obviously, wasn’t going to let Jeno live in his house for free, so Jeno often joined on jobs with him, introducing him to the life and the work that Jungmo, Jaehyun, and Johnny did. Jeno hadn’t killed anyone, Lee decided he was too young to do so, but he trained Jeno to be a lot stronger than he presented himself, enforcing strict routines that made Jeno vomit the first few weeks.

However, after a few months, Lee found himself liking Jeno and found him useful. It was nearly impossible to hate him, Lee spent his fair share punching and slapping Jeno around, but he got up, teary-eyed and a bloodied nose that ran over his teeth.

Jeno would shake his head, lifting his arms to guard before grinning, “is that all you got, old man?”

Within the year, Lee trusted Jeno with heavier duties, such as body disposal and body retrieval depending on his mood. Jeno was in charge of getting rid and capturing people who owed him money, generally another white person who underestimated Lee because of his height and age, not knowing he had a new employee under him.

On a sunny but cold winter day, Lee sent Jeno off for money retrieval from a cook in some bent up restaurant around the corner. Jeno typically liked to ask what he was dealing with just to go prepared, but Lee was half asleep, dismissing Jeno with a wave of his hand and a “he’s tiny, just go”.

He was tiny. He stood a foot smaller than Jeno, making the latter feel guilty for picking on him.

“Lee wants his money,” Jeno said firmly after interrupting the bumbling white man. “He said today, or you won’t see tomorrow.”

The other man shook, reaching into his pockets to give him 200 dollars, “t-this is all I have, I owe him only 300 I swear, I swear. I’ll come over tomorrow, and I’ll get the money, I promise—Lee knows I’m good for it, Kid. Just ask him!”

Jeno narrowed his eyes, pulling out his phone and calling Lee instantly.

“What?”

“I have the guy you were telling me about, but he only has two hundred dollars and...”

Jeno stopped mid-sentence. He had never seen someone like her here before. Asian, at least, he could tell. Her hair was tied back, stray hairs poking out from the static from her jacket as she walked inside, ignoring the scene between Jeno and the man he had in his grasp.

“...Jeno? Jeno!”

“Ah—what? Sorry?”

“I said let him go. I’ll take care of him tomorrow, take his two hundred, “Lee sighed heavily. “Keep the two hundred. For your trouble.”

“Right. Okay, cool. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, you’re the one cleaning up that fuck tomorrow.”

Jeno grimaced but hung up the phone, taking the money before telling the man to scram. That he did, he ran towards his car and drove off, probably out of state if he knew what was good for him.

Jeno followed into the diner that he had never stepped foot in before. It reeked, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not, of bacon grease and apple pie. The girl he had been looking for was sitting alone in a booth, headphones on as she scribbled something in her notebook dutifully, enchanting Jeno even further. He sat at the breakfast bar and watched, earning a tap on his shoulder from a peeved waitress.

“You gonna order something, Ming, or am I gonna stand here like an idiot?”

Jeno was used to subtle and not so subtle racism but this at this point, he didn’t want to scare the girl off and ordered a random burger off the menu.

He ate slowly and watched her from the reflection. The waitress made her way around again, elbowing him before nodding toward hers.

“You gonna say something or what, Ming?”

Jeno narrowed his eyes, “it’s Jeno. Not Ming.”

“Same difference,” she shrugged. “She’s nice, she comes here often.”

“Not for the service, I’m guessing.”

The waitress grinned, showcasing her coffee and cigarette stained teeth, “want me to put in a good word? birds of feather flock together.”

Jeno ignored her again. He hoped he would see her somewhere else after this, because the waitress was driving him insane.

“I want to pay for her meal,” he said quickly. “But don’t tell her.”

“My lips,” the waitress made a zipping action, “are sealed.”

Jeno left the diner after he paid, his heart feeling lighter than it had been since he’s been here. He made his way home, humming to himself as even Lee gave him a strange look.

“Fuck, you’re tone-deaf.” Lee groaned.

Jeno visited the diner again, and to his pleasant surprise, the same waitress was there, wiping the table and giving him a grin.

“Somehow I knew you’d come back.”

“Not for you, I promise,” he snipped, taking a seat as he ordered what he got last time.

“Here comes your girl, Champ,” she winked, looking towards the door and watching the same girl walk inside. Jeno looked away quickly, his heart beating as he looked at her through the reflection again.

Her hair was down this time, covered in a hood as she removed her rain jacket, shivering slightly before she took out her notebook. Jeno watched the waitress give him a knowing look, desperately pleading her to not do anything stupid.

But she did. She accidentally gave Jeno her meal, forcing them to communicate as they were the only two in the diner. The waitress watched from behind the kitchen with the cook, their eyebrows raised as Jeno glared at them both. He slid from his seat and walked towards her, watching her head tilt up as she pushed her headphones off.

“Yes?”

“I— “Jeno cleared his throat. “I think they switched our meals, that burger’s mine.”

The girl looked at her burger and made a sound of surprise, taking the plate from Jeno’s hands, “oh. Thank you.”

“No problem,” Jeno was about to turn on his heel before he noticed what she was scribbling. A bunch of Korean was scribbled all over, almost in the form of note taking.

“Are you...Korean? By chance?”

The girl looked up at again and nodded, “uh, yeah. I am. I’m trying to learn, I guess.”

The girl looked at him with curious eyes, tilting her head, “are you Korean?”

Jeno nodded stupidly, “yep.”

“What’s your name?” She promoted, “I don’t know if you know this, but there aren’t a lot of Korean people here. Much less in this town.”

“Jeno. Lee Jeno.”

“Lee...” she hummed to herself. “Are you related to Lee Hyunshik?”

“You know Lee?”

“He and I are the only Koreans here, so, yeah. I know him.”

Jeno took a seat in front of her and shook his head, “we’re not really related. He works for my friend’s dad, and I’m just his apprentice, I guess.”

“He has a job?” She furrowed her eyebrows, “I don’t see him anywhere.”

“A lot of it is out of town,” he quickly fixed. “I just, help him out, y’know? He’s getting old.”

She nodded, not entirely convinced. “I’m Kang Yejin. My friends call me Angel, though. It’s easier to pronounce.”

“Yejin?” Jeno repeated, “it’s a beautiful name.”

Jeno looked up at noticed Yejin’s embarrassed face, his own cheeks flaming as he quickly tried to edit himself, “I’m so sorry I didn’t—I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable; I swear.”

“It’s just been a long time since I’ve been around someone else that was Korean.”

“Is this how you act with someone from Korea?”

“I...” Jeno gave up, laughing to himself. “No.”

Yejin joined his laugh, “good. That makes me think you’re a little normal.”

They continued to talk at the diner until the waitress kicked them out, telling them to continue whatever this was outside. Jeno paid for them both, offering his payment as an apology for being weird and rolling his eyes at the waitress who gave him a thumbs up.

They stood outside of Jeno’s car, continue to chat until he watched her shiver.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry I’m keeping you out in the cold.”

Yejin shook her head, “no it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“I’d offer you a ride, but I don’t want you to think I’m a murder or something.” Poor choice of words. He was a murderer. Just a contracted one.

“My roommate should be picking me up soon, don’t worry.” Yejin smiled, she looked at her feet before clearing her throat. “I’ll see you around though, I don’t want to keep you from going home.”

“I don’t really mind either, I’d like to stay until your ride comes, if that’s okay?” Jeno looked at the car, “we can sit inside if you want. I promise I won’t do anything.”

Yejin laughed, “you’re pretty jumpy.”

Jeno smiled and opened the passenger door for her, watching as she stepped inside before he walked over to the driver side, shivering and turning in the heat.

“Do you like Maine?”

Jeno shrugged, “I don’t mind it. It’s nice here. I like the ocean.”

“Do you miss Seoul?”

Jeno paused. He hadn’t thought much about Seoul since he’s been here. A whole year and he’s managed to shove his family down into the deepest pit of his heart, Jieun, Jaemin, Johnny, his niece and nephews. Yejin must’ve noticed the hesitance, which led her to apologize.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring something up.”

Jeno shook his head, “no. It’s nothing like that. I do miss Seoul sometimes, I’ve just been so busy that I never noticed it, I guess.”

“Are you going back?”

Jeno shrugged, “maybe. When I’m done helping out Lee.”

They both jump at the sound a horn honking, causing Yejin to curse.

“That’s my roommate,” she sighed. “It was really nice talking to you, Jeno. Maybe this is kind of forward but,”

She handed him a piece of paper with her phone number scribbled onto it. Jeno stared at it before blinking up at her blushing face.

“It’s not often you meet someone who’s Korean and your age here. I’d hate for you to leave without saying bye.”

Jeno smiled, shaking his head. “I won’t.”

“Cool,” Yejin smiled. “I’ll see you around?”

“Definitely.”

Jeno waved and watched Yejin get into her friend’s car, waiting to back up from the parking lot until they’ve left. He sighed to himself and smiled widely, driving the familiar way to Lee’s house and parking outside. He kicked a rock out of his way and opened the front door, Lee sitting on the couch with a dog on his lap and a beer in hand, looking at Jeno with a disapproving look.

“Yah! I sent you out for snacks four hours ago!”

“Huh?” Jeno stared at his empty hands, “oh. Fuck, hyung, I forgot I’m sorry.”

Lee scoffed, shaking his head, “it’s whatever. I’m out of beer anyway.”

Jeno went up to his room and fell on top of his bed, looking at the scribbled number with a goofy grin before turning in his bed.

to: Yejin

hey. It’s Jeno. Did you get home okay?

The response was immediate, making his heart skip.

from: Yejin

I did. My friend ran over a squirrel, but we survived :)

Jeno laughed, quickly typing a response.

to: Yejin

thank god. Goodnight Angel

from: Yejin

goodnight jeno :)

“Is this what you were talking about?” Jeno suddenly asked the ceiling, “is this what being in love is?”

Jeno smiled as he imagined Jieun’s responses. They would be along the lines of nagging, Jieun reminding him that just because she fell for Johnny quickly doesn’t mean he should do the same.

That night, Jeno fell asleep with his lamp on, so Jieun could find him in his dreams.

At four am he woke up to a loud explosion in the living room, causing Jeno to spring out of bed and run down the stairs. There’s a gun in his hand suddenly, thrown by Lee as he’s being strangled by a man in a mask, sending signals to the other boy.

Jeno’s hands shook. Yes, he was a murderer but by association not by method. He took a deep breath and steadied his hands, aiming for the chest but somehow miraculously hitting the head, spraying Lee in all kinds of brain juices. He cursed loudly and pushed the body off of him, taking the gun from Jeno’s hands and patting him on the back.

“You’re better at that than I thought,” he said breathlessly. “Fucking asshole.”

“Who is it?”

“Guess we should find out, huh?” Lee sighed, pulling the mask and revealing another police officer that owed him money. “Fuck, when will these fuckers learn!”

“Hyung? That’s... a cop.”

“So?” He scoffed, “what do you think you’ve been chopping up this whole time? Doctors?”

Lee shook his head, taking the bodies arms and motioning Jeno over, “help me get this pig down to the basement.”

Jeno grimaced and did as he was told, taking the legs as they threw the body down to be disposed. He sat at the foot of the steps as he watched Lee break bones like an expert, surprisingly nauseating Jeno as he went back upstairs.

He stared at his phone and noticed a new notification, surprisingly from Yejin and a smile on his face.

from: Yejin

sorry if I’m being annoying

are you awake?

to: Yejin

surprisingly, yes

from: Yejin

Do you want to meet up for lunch tomorrow?

well, today, technically

you don’t have to. I know we just met.

to: Yejin

I’d like that :)

Dates were plentiful after that. After their first date Jeno realized he didn’t have a lot of clothing, the majority of his good pants falling due to the weight he lost here. Even Lee had words to say about it, suspiciously eyeing Jeno every time he looked down at his phone.

“Is your dick that hilarious?”

Jeno snorted, “no. I’m looking at my phone.”

“Talking to that Yejin girl?”

Jeno smiled, “yeah.”

“Out of all the white women here in this bunk town, you chose the only Korean girl?” Lee tsked, “boy, do you know how to pick’em.”

Maybe Lee was right. Yejin was perfect in his eyes. She was funny, she was incredibly smart and witty, not to mention jaw dropping gorgeous. If Jeno picked anyone, it would be her. Dates turned into days together, days turned into weeks, and weeks into months.

Jeno and Yejin were officially together for six months now, they would be inseparable had it not been for Yejin’s classes. She often spent the night with him in Lee’s home, to which he would grumble a greeting before watching tv.

She felt so nice in his arms, she smelled like coconut shampoo and rose perfume and Jeno felt dizzy every time she kissed him. He was stupidly in love with her and he didn’t know what to do.

On a night much like any other, Yejin was over, yawning every so often in his arms as they mindlessly watched a movie on Jeno’s phone. They had a big meal prior to this, the food settling heavy in Yejin’s stomach and making her sleepy. Jeno took notice in her lack of attention and turned off his phone, watching with a laugh at her eyes opening.

“I was watching that.”

“I don’t think you were,” he smiled. “I’ll turn it back on if you tell me what happened.”

“No,” she said simply, Jeno’s laugh causing her to smile and wrap her arms around his neck.

They shared another kiss. Jeno wished he could stay like this forever, their limbs tangled together and the sound of the ocean outside his window, waves crashing against the sand. Their kiss deepened, Jeno’s grip tightening around her as Yejin made soft noises under him, her leg hooking over his waist.

They hadn’t done anything yet, not because he didn’t want to but because he didn’t know how to. He’s watched porn, so he knows the basics of a condom slinging fuck, but he wanted more than that. He wanted to make Yejin feel good too.

His dick was already hard in his pants and he knew Yejin noticed, rubbing against him as Jeno groaned into her mouth. He pulled away slightly, looking at Yejin’s dilated pupils.

“Do...you want to?” He asked gently.

“Uh, well,” Yejin cleared her throat, her cheeks growing warm. “I do, but I’ve never done this before.”

Jeno laughed breathlessly, shaking his head, “me neither.”

Yejin smiled and reattached their lips for a quick peck, “I want to have sex. With you.”

“Now?”

“Do you have a condom?”

Jeno racked in his brain. He should have one, by Man law he should always have one hidden somewhere. Lee had given him one once before when he first starting Yejin, and if he remembered carefully, he could locate it in his drawer. He reached over and grabbed it in his hands, his hands shaking slightly.

“Uh, yeah. Here it is.”

Yejin laughed, pulling him closer, “kiss me, Jeno.”

That, at least he thinks, he knew how to do. Clothes came off naturally at that point, slowly and gently as Jeno gave her time to prepare before he removed another article of clothing, looking at her in wonder once they were both finally naked, his hand resting on her neck before it ran down between her breast and rested against her stomach.

“Beautiful,” he sighed, kissing her again. “You’re so beautiful.”

Yejin inched away shyly, looking at Jeno with mirth in her eyes as his hand reached up.

“Can I...?”

She nodded, watching as Jeno’s hands moved to her breast, his thumb swiping over nipple and listening to her small breaths. Jeno bit his lip before boldly deciding to take one into his mouth, his dick twitching at her mewl.

“Is that okay?” He asked quickly, watching Yejin nod before she pulled him back up.

“Let me help you,” she breathed against his lip, taking his hand and moving it towards her center, shadowing Jeno’s hand as he cupped her heat, dipping his fingers in her wet lips, smiling at Jeno’s groan.

“This is what they meant when they said girls get wet, huh?” Jeno hadn’t meant to sound like a bumbling virgin, but it endeared Yejin as she nodded.

His fingers lingered around what he assumed was her clit, rubbing small circles and basking in her soft moans, not too loud in order to not wake up Lee down the hall. Slowly did she start pushing Jeno’s fingers inside of her, another groan falling from his lips. He couldn’t help it, if this is how she felt around his finger he couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like on his cock.

Jeno easily stuck another finger inside, her whimper just a bit louder than her others, making Jeno smile. His tongue reached for her nipple again, her fingers threading through his hair before he pressed a kiss to her chest.

“You’re so perfect,” he whispered. “So perfect, I love you.”

He could hear her heart pound through her chest, Yejin pressing kisses on his head before she pulled his fingers out, staring at Jeno expectantly. He bit his lip again, reaching for the condom and ripping the foil packaging open, rolling it down his length as Yejin stared at his cock.

Jeno’s ears turned red, “what?”

“Nothing, it’s just...” Yejin cleared her throat, “big.”

Definitely the ego boost he needed. He grinned, laughing at the way Yejin rolled her eyes before she kicked him.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he hummed, kissing her stomach. He swallowed harshly, leading the tip of his cock to her entrance, pushing it in slightly and watching Yejin’s face contort in discomfort. Jeno quickly stopped, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

She shook her head, “no. No, keep going.”

It didn’t seem fair to him, to be in such overwhelming pleasure by having her squeeze around him as he sunk deeper. He sighed, rubbing circles with his thumbs on her thighs.

“Relax, Yejin. I don’t want to hurt you.”

She took a deep breath, once again shaking her head as she pulled him close. “Kiss me? Please?”

Who was Jeno to deny? He pressed his lips on hers ever so gently, soft pecks around her face as he bottomed out, looking down at her connected ends. He stared in disbelief at the bulge at the end of her stomach, running his hand over it and believing that this was something that only happened in porn.

“Holy shit,” he breathed.

“You can move now, Jeno. Please?”

He wasn’t sure if he wasn’t going to be able to keep it together long enough to move for very long, but he did anyway. He pulled away gently and watched Yejin under him sigh, her fingers at her clit and moving in circles. He thrusted up into her shallowly, his breathing heavy as he tried his best to keep a rhythm, but it didn’t work as easy as it did in porn, not when someone as hot as Yejin under him.

“Fuck, Yejin, I’m—” he huffed, gripping her hips as his rhythm turned sloppier than before.

Yejin sat up, taking Jeno’s lips and smiling into their kiss, “cum, Jeno.”

He groaned almost embarrassingly loud, his ears turning red as Yejin kissed him through his orgasm, filling the condom up inside her. He took a deep breath, pulling out quickly and apologizing when Yejin whimpered. He threw the condom in the trash somewhere, not entirely sure that he made it in or not. It was obvious that Yejin hadn’t cum yet, and he felt guilt despite her comforting him through it.

“I’m okay, Jeno it doesn’t matter—”

Jeno shook his head adamantly, “let me help. Please?”

His fingers prodded at her clit, his fingers meeting Yejin’s as she used his fingers to touch herself with. Jeno kissed her anywhere he could, trying his best to muffle her moans as she shook terribly under him, chanting his name as she came.

Sweaty and basking in afterglow, Jeno held Yejin close, listening to her breathing before she lifted herself on her elbow.

“I love you too.”

Jeno smiled, pinching her cheek, “you heard that?”

“I have a special ear for people telling me they love me.” Yejin smiled, “but I do. I really, really love you, Jen.”

“Thank God, this would’ve been awkward if you didn’t.”

Yejin laughed, pressing a sloppy kiss to his neck before falling asleep.

Everything after that felt like a dream. He had more than enough money to buy Yejin whatever she wanted whenever she wanted, and he couldn’t be more in love if he tried. Lee was used to it by this point, knocking on doors to ask if Yejin was staying over in order to know how much rice he should make. The best part of it all was that Yejin was in love with him too, giving her all into the stranger she had met in a diner.

On a summer day, Jeno and Yejin came back to Lee’s house, their hands swinging in between them as they walked into the cool home. Lee was nowhere to be found in the living room where he usually would be propped up with a beer in hands. No, this time he was at the dining room table, phone sat in front of him with his hands on his chin.

Jeno watched Lee rub his face before he asked Yejin to go upstairs. She nodded, leaving Jeno to sit in front of him.

“Hyung? What’s wrong?”

Lee sighed, his hand running over his scruff, “you’re being reassigned.”

Jeno blinked, “what? What do you mean I’m being reassigned? I don’t work for Jungmo. Hyung, I only work for you.”

“You started working for Jungmo ever since you shot the cop in the head last winter,” Lee grimaced. “But even then, that doesn’t matter. New management.”

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows, “what do you mean?”

“Jungmo died this morning. Jinho retired. Jaehyun is in charge.”

Jeno stared blankly at Lee, his head spinning as he tried to think of excuses, any excuse to stay here. “I’m not leaving.”

“You can’t stay here expecting Jaehyun won’t come and drag you by the scruff, Jeno.” Lee looked up at the stairs, “it’s best to say your goodbyes now.”

“So what? That’s it then? You’re going to let them take me?”

“What do you want from me, Kid? Hm?” Lee sat up from his chair, “if I say no, I’m dead. If I hide you, I’m dead. This doesn’t work well for any of us. All outcomes end with you in Korea, period.”

Jeno got up from his chair violently, shaking to himself before he got to his room, fuming and almost forgetting Yejin was there.

“Jen?”

No response. He took a deep breath and walked towards the window, a cool breeze fanning over his face before he felt Yejin’s arms around his waist.

“Jeno? What’s going on?”

Jeno turned around and took her face his hands, his thumbs caressing her cheeks with her face colored in concern. “I have to go.”

“Where?”

“Seoul,” he said gently. He could see her heart fall at the word, and even then, she still held a bit of hope.

“For how long?”

“I’m not coming back, Yejin,” Jeno wanted to kill himself for making her cry. The mix of sadness, confusion, and the delusional hint of hope was swirling in her eye, enough to make Jeno feel sick with guilt.

“Then I’ll come with you.”

“No, Yejin.”

“Why not?” She defended, “my Korean got better, you said so yourself, right? It’s not like I have parents to consult or family to leave behind.”

Yejin held his hand close, “you’re all I have here. Please don’t leave me.”

Jeno’s heart broke into thousands of millions of pieces. He never wanted to leave her, and it wasn’t in his plan to do so ever, “what about school, baby? You love school.”

“I love you,” she corrected. “I can go to school anywhere else in the world, but I love you.”

This must’ve been what Jieun felt all those years ago. A leap of faith, a dive into unknown waters just for the sheer fact that you are utterly devoted to someone.

“You’d leave everything for me?”

Yejin shook her head, “you are my everything, Jeno.”

Maybe this was a sign then, a sign of better days.

It took Yejin all but two days to pack everything she needed, exchanging swift goodbyes with her roommates before she sat in Jeno’s car. He glanced over at her, giving her one more chance, but she was clear in her decision even without say a word.

They left to retrieve Jeno’s luggage before Lee gave him a last goodbye. He had a learned a lot of from Lee the last two years, and Lee from him. He hugged him tightly and gave him a smile.

“I packed you a lunch in your luggage,” he winked. “Don’t take it out until you’re back.”

Jeno smiled and nodded, exchanging one last goodbye before they headed towards the airport. The truth was, both Jeno and Yejin were nervous, their hands clasped together as if they were glued together, refusing to lose the other in the airport.

The flight to Korea was nightmarish, with turbulence and storms all throughout, almost to remind Jeno of the hell he left. Despite the nightmare, Yejin held his hand through it all, counting the lines in his hands while he slept.

Jeno felt like a fish in an ocean, surrounded by everyone who looked just like him with someone who had wide eyes next to him. Jeno wondered if she began to regret it yet, but it didn’t seem like it, despite the fear in her eyes.

They took a cab back to an apartment, the one Lee was renting out should he ever go back to Korea—but judging the sizes between the house here and his home in Maine, Jeno found it hard to believe that he would be coming back anytime soon.

While Yejin napped on the couch, Jeno went through his luggage, looking for his “packed lunch” and finding a large metal case smashed and taped with magnets, enough to send sensors into a fury.

He quickly undid the tape and undid the clasps, revealing a small magnum pistol inside and a note that read: you’ll need this more than me. Not to mention, you were always eyeing it when I used it. Good luck, Kid. Don’t forget to write.

Jeno scoffed, don’t forget to write? what an old man thing to say.

Yejin woke up from her nap then, shuffling towards the bedroom and wrapping her arms around his waist, kissing his shoulder, “is this your lunch?”

“Apparently,” he hummed. “A lot of work to make sure it wasn’t detected.”

“It’s pretty,” she yawned, falling on the bed and pulling a throw blanket she brought with her over her.

“Are you going to take another nap?”

Yejin nodded, “I think so. Are you going out?”

Jeno nodded, “I have to go see someone. But I’ll be back, I promise.”

“You better be,” she mumbled. “This is a shitty way to break up with someone.”

Jeno laughed and kissed her, “never.”

Driving to the old Jung home wasn’t something he thought he would be doing, especially not so close after his sister’s death. He parked the car outside and sat there for a minute, looking at Jaemin, Jaehyun, and Jisung through the window. They all looked to be distraught, Jisung especially. He got out of the rental car and moved towards the door, a voice calling out to him before he froze.

“Jeno?” Jihyun called behind him, “oh my god, Jeno!”

Jeno returned her hug tightly, smiling and remembering how much he had missed Jihyun as well.

“You’re so tall!” She smiled, “and so cute! You’re so handsome and built!”

Jeno laughed and pulled her at arm’s length, “thanks. I guess.”

Jihyun looked at the door, “are you coming inside?”

“I, uh, I don’t know yet.” He admitted, “what if they aren’t happy to see me?”

“I can tell you for a fact that Jaemin would be happy to see you,” she admitted. “At least, more than me.”

Jeno tilted his head in confusion, leading Jihyun to laugh sheepishly.

“Me and Jaehyun...aren’t together. I’m only here to offer moral support, I guess. As friends.”

“Why?”

Jihyun shrugged, “because I care, I suppose. Anyway, go, go inside. I’ll meet you in there.”

Jeno wished that Jihyun would at least walk inside with him, but she had other plans as he knocked on the door, looking at his feet as he heard footsteps walk toward him.

Jisung opened the door, his eyes sad and downcast until he recognized the person in front of his, a wide smile on his face, “Jeno hyung!”

Jeno returned his smile and hugged him tightly, “when did you get so tall?”

“Two years ago,” Jisung beamed, holding him tightly.

Jaemin entered the foyer after Jisung. Jeno stood awkwardly at the doorway, watching as Jaemin calculated several different emotions until the latter crashed into him, Jeno sighing in relief as he hugged his best friend.

“If you ever leave me like that again, I’ll fucking find you and kill you myself.” Jaemin seethed, hot tears falling in Jeno’s neck.

“I know, I’m sorry, Jaem.” Jeno’s hold on Jaemin was tight, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, asshole. Just promise to never do it again.”

Jeno smiled and nodded, “I promise.”

Lastly, Jaehyun entered, looking the most tired of them all. It looked like Jaehyun had aged 5 years the two he was gone, the sudden transition to boss not going well for him.

Regardless, he was happy to see Jeno and breathed a quick breath of relief at the sight of him. He joined his hug and patted his back before looking over him, “you look...well.”

“I’ve been pretty good, thankfully.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

Jeno cleared his throat, looking around awkwardly before continuing, “Hyung, I’m sorry. For making you worry, for your dad, for everything.”

Jaehyun dismissed him, “don’t be. I’m glad you’re better.”

Jihyun made her entrance then, hugging Jisung close to her as Jaemin left the room quickly. Jaehyun pulled away to look at her and if Jeno could recognize someone that was still in love with their ex, it was Jaehyun.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Uh, hey,” Jaehyun cleared his throat. “Jeno is here.”

Jihyun nodded, “I saw him outside. Right, Jen?”

“Yeah, yeah we did.” Jeno nodded. If there’s one thing he didn’t come for was awkward tense atmosphere between two idiots who clearly broke up for no reason. Jeno’s name was called from the living room and he eagerly followed the sound, excusing himself to follow Jaemin next to the couch.

“You don’t want to be around for that,” he said. “It’s going to be messy.”

“Should we call Jisung?”

“No, he likes staying there. He makes sure they don’t kill each other.” Jaemin looked at his friend and held his hand, just like before. “Where’ve you been, Jeno?”

“A tiny town in Maine, I was with some guy name Lee Hyunshik, do you know him?”

Jaemin shook his head, “I’ve never heard of him.”

“He trained me, I guess. I did work for him, and then he told me I was transferred back here.”

Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows, “what do you mean?”

Jeno blinked, “what do you mean what do I mean? he told me that Jaehyun hyung asked me to be here.”

Jaemin shook his head, “Jaehyun hyung just got out of bed today, he’s been sick with grief and heartbreak. I thought he was going to die next.”

Jeno stared blankly at his friend. It seemed so real then, the emotion and the disappointment from Lee, unless someone else called for his return, but he doubts it. The only person who knew of his location was Jungmo, and he promised to keep it away.

“Anyway, I’m glad you’re here, whatever the reason.” Jaemin looked at his expectantly, “are you going to stay the night?”

Jeno shook his head, remembering Yejin at the apartment, “not today. I have something to do.”

“Like what? You just got here.”

“Just some things,” Jeno deflected. “I’ll tell you later, I promise.”

Jaemin gave Jeno a suspicious look before nodding his head, “okay. You aren’t going to leave now that I told you you weren’t called, right?”

“No, I’m not. Not after you threatened to kill me.” He smiled. Jaemin returned his smile and hugged him once more.

“My number is still the same. I’m sure Jaehyun hyung will call you for a meeting sometime soon after the funeral, though. Since you’re his employee now.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.” Jeno reassured, passing by Jisung who was left behind in the foyer with a sad look to his face.

“Are you leaving? Already?”

“I’ll be back later, don’t worry,” Jeno smiled. “Where’s your brother?”

“They went to his room,” Jisung grimaced. “It doesn’t sound good.”

“They’ll figure it out, ‘sung. They’re adults.”

“Bad ones.”

“No one is good at being an adult,” Jeno sighed. “Believe me.”

With another goodbye, Jeno left the house and drove off in direction to the apartment, his head bobbing to the music before he made it back to the apartment.

After kicking his shoes off at the door, he walked into the silent apartment, noticing Yejin was still asleep. He laid down next to her and smiled when she instinctively curled to his side, humming as she took a deep breath.

He laughed at himself. Not ten years ago he would be sleeping with a nite lite on, listening to video game soundtracks to help him fall asleep if his sister happened to sleep before him. Now here he was, 20 years old and curled up next to someone who would probably laugh at him if she knew.

“Yejin?”

“Hm?” She mumbled, more asleep than awake.

“What would you do if I told you I was afraid of the dark?”

She was silent for a moment, her hand resting on his stomach as she rubbed his tummy. “Read you a bedtime story, maybe. Why? Are you afraid of the dark?”

Jeno felt like he could run a mile. He held her tighter, causing the latter to groan and push him off, “ow, Jeno.”

“Sorry,” he laughed, kissing her forehead as an extra apology. “No, I’m not afraid of the dark. Not anymore, at least.”

“Good.” She chuckled, kissing his chest. “Turn them off then, you promised you’d wake up early to take me out to breakfast.”

That he did. He had no problem waking up if it was with her. He had no problem setting an alarm to watch her snore, to watch her drool unattractively on his pillow.

He’d wake up early everyday if he wanted to. He’d wake up, just for her.

Jeno groaned at the light in his eye.

He’d wake up from anything.

His head still felt like it was pounding, and he couldn’t completely feel his toes.

“Jeno? Baby?”

Why was waking up so...hard?

“Can you hear me, Jen?”

Yes, he wanted to say, but his throat felt dry.

“Take your time, baby.“ Jeno could feel a hand on his forehead.

He didn’t want to. He wanted to be awake. Now.

masterlist

#I dont think im going to tag this one hehe #too much effort: in the end these r for me and if anyone reads them then nice :] if not oh well hehe #jaemin #jeno #jaehyun #mafia au #these nights au

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jimlingss · 5 years ago

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DUDE... jungle park iz DA BOMB... the plot twists ugh-- i love how hoseok still fell in love with yn even though years passed and actually has amnesia(god that was stressful) but im happy that they still found each other, like the universe is telling them that they really are meant for each other(i know i know it's a fic but dont burst my bubble AJAAAJAAJJA) AND SKSKKSK I'M TOTALLY BINGING ON YOUR SERIES ASKDSKS 2 stories left for the slice of life series then next are your other stories AKKjaaj

nochujeonjk said: and i realized that every single one of the series just makes me tear up with slight sadness, or made me smile from ear to ear without even realizing it, or makes me think and feel things as i finished reading the last sentence or word. like there's this sudden spark of delight. (woah im like so deep into this im releasing my inner, inner, deeper DEEP DEEP~ expressiveness)

nochujeonjk said: OMG I JUST FINISHED THE SLICE OF LIFE SERIES AND IM SO PUMPED I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY-- but im sad, it's over for me.... though i know that the series are something that i'll probably seek out and read again in the future. it taught me a lot of things ngl. made me realize things about life. that not everything are rainbows and fields of flowers, BUT! you can aim it if you will not give up!! AND I LOVE ALL OF THEIR CHARACTERS AND PERSONALITIES AND I'LL PROBABLY MISS THEM

and thank you, again, for releasing such stories. the president's son taehyung actually relates to me a little, how lonely he was growing up. but im happy that yn came back and they changed each other for the better. instead of pushing each other down, they helped each other and lifted their spirits up, changing the way they perceive things and people around them. it is also lighthearted and soft for me AND IM NOT COMPLAINING. while for the colour of our voices shows the hardships of life that

- some of us take for granted. yet some hardships also push us to strive and work harder. wait-- TF SOUNDS LIKE IM WRITING AN ESSAY FOR MY ENGLISH CLASS IM SORRY DONT MIND THIS ASKDSK -- but im really happy bc jimin and yn realized their mistakes and tried to understand each other(even if they're duMB SHH) but im glad they reached their dreams(i hope me too). OKAY THATS SAPPY BUT IM REALLY HAPPY ON HOW EVERYTHING TURNED OUT. and also,'the ultimate drabble' gave me a warm feeling that i cant

explain, that even though they are all different characters from different stories, they are all somehow connected to each other. AND ALSO I WONT FORGET THOSE LITTLE CAMEOS OF THEY CHARACTERS FROM DIFFERENT STORIES AKFLKDF THAT SOMEHOW SHOWS THAT THEYRE NOT ALONE. AND NOW IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THIS UNIVERSE (ASKFKS) BUT IT WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN-- i need to rest ive been reading to much but its TIME TO READ OTHER STORIES OF YOURS THANK YOU ILY(btw my fav character is min yoonji I LOVE HER BYE)

Oh my goodness! I’m so glad you enjoyed it and thank you for giving such extensive feedback. Jungle Park still remains one of my blog’s classics so I’m happy you liked it haha and I’m happy to hear you enjoyed the others as well. It’s definitely a series that I wrote so that anyone could re-read whenever they want at whatever point they want - which is definitely different to a lot of my other stories, namely the angsty ones which I find is hard to re-read.

Anyway, my main intentions with the SOL series is not to deliver a particular message lol - I’m not inclined to preach and show that life isn’t that hard or anything like that bc who am I to tell people what their mottos should be for life. With that being said, while it’s not in my intentions, messages inadvertently come as a side effect with the storylines. So, I’m happy you were able to draw such positive conclusions for yourself and that it can inspire you in such a way!! There’s definitely a lot that all my characters learn in each one and different struggles that they face, and how each couple grows to develop and understand one another.

I digress, thank you for taking the time out of your day to not only read my series but to leave so much loving feedback :]

#Jimlings #nochujeonjk

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doctorgerth · 6 years ago

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Important Follower Event Info!

I’m terribly sorry for spamming your dashboards today, but my box is officially 100% empty!!! I want to just do a lil happy dance with you all! This might seem like a small feat but goodness, I am just so relieved to be finished!

**IMPORTANT NOTE: My regular ask box will not open until the follower events are over! I’m sorry if that upsets you, but I do not want to overwhelm myself with follower event requests and regular requests. I will make an official post when my ask box is open for regular requests!

To thank all 366 of you lovely followers, I have three special events lined up! I wouldn’t be here without your support and encouragement, so please take these events as a major thank you! No amount of thanks will ever be enough, but I hope this will suffice for now! I love you all from the bottom of my heart, thank you for supporting my crazy ideas and work about our fav OP characters! It’s a silly blog, but thanks to you guys, it really means so much to me!

Ok, ok I’ll stop being sappy, let’s get to the events. As I mentioned, I have divided this up into three events!

Follower Event #1:

I will pick three (3) winners for this event. In order to be placed for the drawing you have to like this post and follow this blog. If you like this post but are not following, I feel as if it is unfair to give you a shot at winning!

First Place winner will win first choice of prize.

Second Place winner will win second choice of prize.

Third place winner will win third choice of prize.

Here are the prizes I have lined up for you:

Personal one shot with prompt and character of your choosing

this can be as angsty, fluffy, and/or sinful as you wish; please be specific and refer to my rules when giving details

only one (1) character allowed

Headcanons with character(s) of your choosing

angst, fluff, nsfw accepted; please refer to my rules when giving details

up to two (2) characters

Personal letter from any character of your choosing

can be romantic, angsty, fluffy, friendship, etc; please refer to my rules when giving details

only one (1) character allowed

Romantic/Relationship scenario based off of matchup

if you have not received a matchup from me before, you can send in matchup info in order for me to do this

this scenario can apply to any of your four matchups (main matchup + 3 other potential suitors), but it must only be one (1) character

Character Compatibility

you will send me info about yourself (likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. - kinda like a matchup) and you send one (1) character and I write out how compatible I think you are

this will include romantic compatibility and friendship compatibility + what they think of you; I will include sexual compatibility if you request it

Full SFW or NSFW Alphabet for character of your choosing

you can only choose one alphabet for a character, I will not write for both

only one (1) character allowed

Winners cannot choose the same prize! Thus why I have first-third place winners. Again, first place gets first choice, second place gets second choice, and third place gets third choice! The only exception to this is I will allow one winner to choose SFW alphabet and one winner to choose NSFW alphabet if they desire!

This post will be open for a little over 26 hours, I get off work at around 2:00 PM US Central Time tomorrow, so I will probably choose winners around 3:00 PM US Central Time tomorrow! Winners will be chosen through a random generator online and will be announced through an official post. If you would like to comment below or reblog what prize you want if you win, that might could help me? But it’s not necessary!

Follower Event #2:

This is not the official post for this event, the post for this event will probably go up tomorrow after winners are chosen and announced. This is just the important information!

For this event, I’m going to do a prompt event! I’ll share a couple of prompt lists on my blog for you guys to send in my box.

To save me energy and extra work, this event is not open to everyone. I will only choose seven (7) winners to receive prompt requests from. You must like this post and follow this blog in order to be chosen for this! Winners for this will be chosen through a random generator online and will be announced in the same winner post as follower event #1. Rules, extra details, and the prompt lists will be in the official post for this tomorrow, so look forward to that!

If you end up as a winner for this event, but you don’t want it as you only liked this post for follower event #1, that’s totally okay! I will choose another winner. I just didn’t want to make two separate posts for everyone to like and keep up with!

Also, to make this fair for everyone, you cannot be a winner for both events, I’m sorry! I will work out the details on that.

Follower Event #3:

This is not the official post for this event. The official post for this event will go up either this Thursday or Friday. This event is NOT open right now. This is just the important information!

This event will be open to every single one of you! I’ll post the SFW Alphabet, NSFW Alphabet, headcanon memes, send me a character, “so you like those anime pirates”, and other fun things that you can flood my inbox with! My limit to this will only be once my box is just way too full, but since these are easier requests to get through, I’ll probably take a lot of them! Rules and extra details will be in the official post for this, just like follower event #2!

And there you have it! Here are my special events for you all. I hope they sound fun? It’s the best I could come up with for now lol Don’t fret if you don’t make it in for these events! I’m pretty close to 400 followers, so I think there might be another event lined up for us within the next few weeks!

If you have any questions about anything, please message me! For right now, all you really need to do is hit the follow button and like this post! Good luck to you all, and thank you so much again for everything you do! x

- Doc

#doctorgerth #doctalks #cooptalks #follower event #100 follower event #200 follower event #300 follower event #event special #follower event special #i luv my followers #good luck!

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sadsmonk · 5 years ago

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HEY I love my friends a lot so I’m calling them out: pipis edition

it’s loving my friends hour so like, i’m taking a break from reblogging relatable memes in favor of being a sappy motherfucker

@transgraywing - yo seb i love you a lot. even tho we talk on a daily basis, it still doesn’t feel like we talk as much as we should and that makes me :( but!!! im SO happy i can call you my friend because you have honestly been such an understanding and fun individual!!! i ALWAYS look forward to comin into pipis and hangin with u and the others and i wish i had more reasons to privately message u tbqh dfhdfbajdjfdjadfsjkbadh

@angsty-rhys - whats poppin homie- honestly kaz??? ur probs one of my most like, relatable friends? youve been through a lot of what im going through now and youre always willing to reach out and help me through it. plus!!! ur always SO excited abt ur fandoms and stuff and it really makes me happy hearing abt ur interests bc ur happiness is SO contagious??? like what the hell??? i LOVE hangin around u and talking to u every day, even if it doesnt seem that way

@trans-jeremy-heere - dez!!!!!!!!!!! i love u so much dez!!!!!! i love hearing u ramble abt ur stuff and bmc and all that!!!!!! also??? ur soft as hell??? and super cute like, not to be gay on main but ur totally adorable when ur flustered ???? we really need to hang out more im sorry strep is a bitch :( its just so wild thinking we used to dislike each other so strongly and now we’re like??? best friends??? holy shit???

@atlas-of-galaxies - im gonna eat u whole but like, i love u a lot. ive known you for a long ass time and ya we had our rocky hills and our smooth roads, but like, it feels good to call u a friend at the end of the day. youve always been there for me, even on ur own vacation (im still SO sorry) and im SO glad i got to meet you like, damn. thanks for humoring me with my interests and all or just like, in general???? like??? youre one of the funniest people i know and its so fucking nice to hang with u bc i know i can always get a good laugh out of it and feel better if im in a bad mood. also thanks for rping with me and dealing with my annoying impatient ass lol i know im the worst rp partner ever

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ilovechristopheralexandershaw · 6 years ago

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What would your ideal drarry fic be? Like, how would they get together, what tropes would be involved, what would be your ideal story line? Any squicks or triggers or things you aren't interested in? Any HC's with the two of them? :D

THIS IS THREE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY SEVEN WORDS OR SOMETHING HELP ME

Whoo boi, honey, lemme tell you, this answer gave me some s t r e s s. Tumblr, can you just...idk, have a save drafts option for asks? No?

Anyways, back to the point. Snuggle down into your blankets y’all, ‘cause this is gonna be one long post.

What would my ideal drarry fic be? Okay, siriusly, legit anything with angst. Copious amounts of angst. Drown me in the angst. I’m always willing to read an angsty fic, almost always as willing to read a fluffy fic and occasionally have an urge for smut but that’s like…every three months or so lmao. I prefer a story that isn’t based on the size of one’s cock. (Sorry if that’s a little crude). I’m fine with any length of fic, as long as it has a good story behind it and if it hopefully has some heart-wrenching moments that make me feel like I might have a soul after all. I love fics that keep their character – not too much, though – and have them arguing with each other all the time – its more real to me, and makes me laugh. I love drarry because of that, because it’s that ship that will keep their relationship, unlike idk shrek and Fiona who fall for each other and lose their old self completely. Drarry is that ship that stays intact and old and new at the same time, and that’s why I love it.

How would they get together? I have this vision of the two getting together slowly. First it’s banter, insults, hexing, all the while having miscommunication and some serious pining because I’m an absolute sucker for that shit. As I said, angst. Hate turns to like and death threats to exasperated, witty little replies, private jokes between the two of them – a Malfoy Stinks embroidered on his robes in place of Healer Malfoy.

I love fics where there’s just that one, final leap of – I have to do it, otherwise I’ll never get another chance, I don’t care about the consequences. If it’s a kiss that gets them together, in that ‘final chance’ way, I love it when the other is too shocked, and the first person just loses all hope (I mean until like two seconds later when they’re snogging the life out of each other lmao). Basically just a slow build and all the sass 😊

Tropes? Okay, I’m gonna admit that even though I’ve been in the fandom for a few months, I still can’t define so much, but I hope most of what I write here is legible.

I love coffeeshop Aus, I find them really cute and sweet, and a blushing Malfoy is always a bonus. Eighth year is my absolute jam, unless it’s a drinking fic in which case no thanks. I love friends to lovers or enemies to lovers – the slow build, especially if the author has timed it perfectly, is just argh, I love it. Pining has been mentioned like a hundred times already but I’m going to say it again just because. Roommates are okay, I guess, but not exactly my go-to. I do like muggle Aus, and even though I think Potter should be a teacher, I enjoy the action in an Auror Partners fic, too. Also uh..oops? This was supposed to be tropes that were involved not the tropes you like you dumb butt. That’s not what Nonny asked.

My ideal storyline for a drarry fic? Not sure if this is what you’re asking but I’m gonna go with it and if I’m wrong then I’m wrong y’know?

As I said, I like fics with pining. I love a number of storylines, but I’m just gonna choose one for this thing since it’s already almost if not over two thousand words (is anyone even reading this? Who cares, I’m having fun) okay I checked its like over 2600 help me. Also this turned out into a fic not an ideal storyline hhhhhhhh

I guess I like fics with slow-building pining, going from meeting together at work or having to work together for some reason in eighth year, or just seeing each other in eighth year. PTSD gets them together, but so does the (admittedly weaker) banter, since nobody understands either of them – the Saviour and the Ex Death Eater. The press is still going off about the war, and everyone has their own ways of coping. Soon enough, they’re friends – (ok let’s pretend this is eight year) and helping each other through the bad days. And soon enough, the insults that hit closer to home for others but not them, the inside jokes, the love of Quidditch, the homework assistance – all this time around each other turns to pining. Malf-Draco, with his white-blond hair and black turtlenecks that he kept even though that was what he wore as a Death Eater. With his now self-deprecating jokes instead of hurtful insults. With his smile, that shows his sneer lines of the past. With his blue-gray eyes. With his knowing smirk when they’ve done one of their own eighth year pranks. Even with his wonky Charms and obsession with stroking the Dark Mark and the way he stops in front of the Room of Requirement every time they pass. And Harry, with his mop of untidy hair and glasses that have had Reparo used on them who knows how many times by now? With his bright green eyes, with his surprisingly pale skin, with the way he disappears into the forest every now and then, staring at the clearing where Voldemort once thought him dead. They pine, they’re oblivious, and finally, Pansy spills it to draco, an exasperated ‘will you kiss him or not’ just as Harry rounds the corner in his invisibility cloak. ‘are you stupid. Pans? We’re just friends.’ (wow ideal storyline this is a mini fic by now what am I doing with life my math sheet is like right in front of me I should be doing that). The questions, that night, in their respective beds. And the finale, with Harry rethinking ‘we’re just friends’ in his head in the final Seeker-to-seeker game, Draco leaning in.

Finally.

Okay, squicks. Here we go. First of all, I don’t really like fics where they speak really…I don’t know, childishly? To each other eg. too many cheesy pet names (‘Hi hun,’ he giggled, taking the offered plate), since my idea of drarry is a couple that banters all the time, not one that sits around squealing at each other. That’s the main reason I ship them, after all.

Another squick, although this just annoys me more than makes me uncomfortable, is when there’s a fic involving children where the author makes their speech like that of a baby. Five year olds and younger can make legible sentences, so it’s sometimes irritating when eight-year-old Scorpius is saying ‘dada give h-h-hoog’ if you get my drift.

Daddy kink is another thing. If you like it, good for you but personally, I- *shudders* no thanks. It’s just – okay, my dad’s like over fifty, and that’s what I imagine if I think of that. Sex with my dad? I’ll pass. Calling your boyfriend your ‘daddy’? I- no no no just no I’m sorry but no.

Okay, I’ll rephrase. Most, if not all kinks make me uncomfortable – I’ve said daddy already, Parseltongue (just any other language) is just weird to me (it’s not disgusting, I just find it kind of dubious I guess.), any sort of pet play is similar if not worse than daddy kink, choking or breath play sounds more like rape (I’m crude, handle it), lingerie is just hella weird and I don’t even want to know what tentacles are, thank you very much. I’ll stick to my vanilla sex.

Any sort of sex toy/tool use is also a squick (including painful BDSM stuff), but I’m not sure if that’s kink so I’ll just add it here.

I don’t mind OOC fics, but, again, if they’re too soft (unless it’s some sort of caring angsty oneshot e.g. most of @rose-grangerweasleyisbae ‘s ones) then they most likely don’t work with me either.

Triggers? No, I haven’t read any fics that have triggered me in any way and I’m not sure if I have any. Most are squicks.

Fics, or tropes, I guess, that I’m not interested in would include either one being some sort of Magical Creature (although there are some exceptions – some writers make really good fics with these tropes), and by that I mean any humanoid creature such as a werewolf, vampire etc. Veela especially. Also, anything with mates. (Fun fact, in my first answer that got deleted, I wrote a headcanon fic thing with draco as a bowtruckle since I said I don’t know if that’s a squick bc I’ve never read it and decided to do it for fun)

Dunno what this is, but I’m gonna include it as well – I also don’t like fics where their entire supposedly ‘loving’ relationship is completely based on sex. I’m okay with it if they’re supposed to be fuckbuddies at that point in the relationship, but if this is what the author is calling their ‘established relationship’, I don’t really like it.

Any fic that loses the banter after their getting together, where their world and source of happiness is completely revolving around the other – that is also one of my disinterests. As I said, I ship drarry for the sass and banter (and angst). Not the sappy love.

I don’t really like unhealthy relationships – I read a fic where the whole reason Draco allowed Potter to date him was because he complimented his flying skills, not because he liked him. That’s a really minor example, but basically any fic without actually liking each other or as I said, an unhealthy relationship, doesn’t take my fancy. Unless, of course, they’re fixing it.

A fic that starts somewhere in the books, eg. third year or something, don’t normally take my fancy, but, again, there is the occasional exception that I turn out to love.

Not exactly Drarry but any poly relationships with the two of them are also a disinterest – I feel like they’re the ones for each other. Dunno if this sounds polyphobic or whatever it’s called, and it probably does, but that’s not it. I just personally don’t think Drarry need another person. Other ships, maybe. Drarry? Not for me.

Eighth year fics that are based on drinking and drinking games also aren’t my thing (omg there’s like eight million alsos here what am i doing don’t shoot me please (ok i fixed it)). I just don’t like them.

And fics with any sort of bonding lose my interest pretty quickly, especially sexual magic bonds. Mpreg, as well, again, I’ll read the occasional fic but most of the time I don’t really like it.

Age difference, again, are something I find strange, and I can go on for hours but this is now around three thousand words and I should stop so y’all can go read your fics lmao.

And um I’ll give you two headcanons as my way of apologising for the unbelievably late reply

Harry, lying on the ground, blood dripping from a massive slash in his stomach, chest barely moving, lips slightly parted, tinged red with drying blood

Malfoy, now just a colleague, they’ve lost the schoolboy animosity, hovering over him, wand casting diagnostic spells even though he knows they’re no use – he knows the curse but he doesn’t know the exact variation – and the wrong healing spell will kill the Saviour – he can’t take that chance.

‘Scared, Malfoy?’

His head jerks up, pale eyes widening at the old question thrown back at him. Shoulders slump, his lungs heaving from all he spells he’s cast

‘Yes’

Idk just the idea of that final admittance – yes. Idk, just, my heart, man.

Okay headcanon 2 which is more of a fic by this point (someone help me im so bad at headcanons. Like this is all fleshed out in my head but ugh)

Eighth year holidays, Draco is sitting alone at the blazing fire in the common-room, strangely enough knitting, as he talks, friendly but quiet to a surprisingly happy Moaning Myrtle (the common room is where the old bathroom was)

Hermione Jean Granger sits down next to him and he flinches, almost expecting a slap like third year – he’s had hexes from Muggleborns who had nothing to do with the war, and here’s the Saviour’s friend – of course she’s gonna –

She pulls out a massive textbook, quill, inkpot, blotting paper and three rolls of parchmment from her bag, tucks her bushy hair behind one ear, and starts scratching away

He’s surprised, but still too nervous to ask why

It becomes a habit, her sitting there there, him as well, talking to Myrtle, doing Potions work, knitting as well

They start talking to each other, he finds out she Obliviated her parents and doesn’t want to come back just yet, even though she knows the Dark Lord’s gone

She finds out he’s too scared to go home, with all the memories

They become friends of sorts, helping each other when they can

When the holidays end, there are a few double takes, but nobody really questions it. After all, it’s Hermione, she never was too against Malfoy (nobody really saw that slap) and she’s always been a rule-follower. They assume its part of Mcgonagall’s asking for peace between Slytherins and Gryffindors

I mean, Ron does complain about her hanging about the ferret nowadays and not around her boyfriend, but he gets it. Besides, their ‘sessions’, if you will, are always when there’s Quidditch practice for Harry and Ron (they help train the younger years)

So yeah, it’s not too bad (and this isn’t Dramione I promise although I do ship it occasionally)

One day, though, she brings out a bundle of knitting herself. To his surprise, she knits a single sock and puts it in a box

He asks her why

‘For Dobby’

And he remembers. He remembers the strange little house elf, the one he loved as a kid but had no way of showing it. He remembers his father’s hatred of that elf in particular He remembers scowling at the poor thing, ranting to it – it was a way of venting, but in true Malfoy-raised fashion, he’d been so cruel to it as well, laughing as it jammed its fingers in doors, encouraging its pain.

He leaves the common room early that night

Next day, the Golden Trio isn’t there. Hermione (no longer Granger) isn’t there

He knitted a single sock that morning himself. He’d heard the story from their talks. He wanted to contribute. A way of apology, if you will. If it even counted. Today’s the day the elf passed away, and Hermione had said she put a sock in there for everyone

It’s pretty obvious where they’ve gone. He Apparates there after class, and finds the grave easily. It’s got a bundle of Conjured flowers, stems wrapped around the rock that serves as a headstone, and the box of socks is right there too. (what am I doing this is meant to be a short drarry hc and I haven’t even brought potter in yet help)

He starts crying

He spent last night remembering. Remembering how even through all the pain he caused that elf, a single smile, a single ‘thanks for listening, Dobby’ would make the elf bow and weep at his feet. He remembers how cruel he was, how the elf just…took it in his stride. He remembers losing the house elf, realising Potter had stolen something else of his. He remembers

And he lets it go. He spills all of it to a gravestone, apologies and ‘I know it won’t mean anything’ and ‘I didn’t know but that’s no excuse’ and ‘you always listened, how did you always listen?’ and ‘thank you’ and most of all ‘I’m so so sorry’ stumbling over each other as he tries to explain, to finally let it out

He’s crying and sniffling and that’s making it even harder to speak but he needs to say this, even though Dobby is dead, even though he’s apologised to so many people – this is one of the few that listened to him, and he’s treated the elf like garbage.

Tears drip onto the single sock in his hands

It’s hours later when he finishes. Well, not exactly finished, but he’s said enough that he thinks he’s explained himself and said sorry – even though it’ll never be enough. He’s cast a Light Charm (not a lumos ok it’s bigger don’t correct me) and he leans over to put the now-damp sock into the box too. A final ‘I’m so sorry’ and he stands up, turns around

And comes face to face with the Golden Trio

Hermione stares at him, then grabs him in a massive hug

Ron looks at him, slightly awkwardly but at her glare, he offers a tight smile

And Harry? (wow how long has it taken for me to get here god) is just staring. Openmouthed. Who knew Malfoy had felt this much about a house elf?

And yeah that’s the point where he realises Malfoy isn’t that bad and then they go back to Bill and Fleur’s (Hermione explains along the way that they went back to the grave bc they saw the Charm and were in shock – was Dobby back?)

‘did you hear all of it?’

‘we heard enough, Draco’

And when they get back to Hogwarts, well, it’s slow building at first. Potions help when Hermione’s out on a date with Ron, a butterbeer in the school kitchens on a Hogsmeade weekend when they want to hide from the public but enjoy the drink

But over time, the pining and the miscommunication and Draco getting back to his (albeit weak) banter with Potter leads to one thing. You know what it is.

Drarry

You know what I’m having fun writing trashy hcs so here’s a third (although it ain’t drarry. It ain’t any ship)

Alright so there is no hairdresser at Hogwarts or Hogsmeade or anywhere near the castle (I mean it was never mentioned in the books was it so this is possibly canon)

Therefore, most kids have to use spells

But we all know that each of us probably has a haircut that is somehow slightly different to one another, and there aren’t that many hair care spells in the world let alone known by a few teachers in Hogwarts

While some kids know exact spells, others, for example, Muggleborns, just use Diffindio

I mean, it gets their hair cut, yeah? That’s pretty much all they need

Of course, Hermione knows each and every spell but let’s not get to that

And Malfoy uses his own spell and a litre of Sleekeazy every morning

But since everyone else cuts their own hair, it looks as bad as each other

And that’s why Harry wasn’t teased too much about his hair (yes, also bc he’s the Saviour bUT STILL)

That’s why Sirius had long hair and etc.

Basically none of the kids at Hogwarts really had good hair and they all looked like Halt from Ranger’s apprentice (also this one is long as heck I could’ve just said everyone uses diffindio and there’s no hairdresser why am I like this)

#oof yay i got an ask #what am i doing look at the length of this thing #nonny i am so sorry for doing this

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crowned-ladybug · 6 years ago

Note

Marvin from the rivals au for that character thing or just in general bc I love him so much and I want to know more about him

This got so long, I’m so sorry. This is like 2k words bc if allowed to talk about this boy then i could talk Forever. Oops

(With the meme it’s here btw)

Occasional sleeptalker. Usually just incoherent babbling, andJackie finds it hilarious to listen to if he's awake for it

Can braid his own hair perfectly without any trouble. Fear him

Shows his love of certain ppl by buying them lil gifts but hatesthe confrontation and awkwardness of giving them to them so heusually just leaves them in places he knows they'll find them,usually with no indication that they're from him either

Colour codes Everything

Has his own way of organising things that makes sense to Him okaybut he can't really explain it to anyone else. It annoys poor Jamesonto no end bc he organises shit to help with his anxiety and MarvinKeeps Ruining It

His reaction to Chase and Jackie wanting to get up to impulsivefun shit is "sure, go ahead, just don't hinder whatever I'mdoing" (or sometimes he joins them) and Schneep is sodisappointed in him for not helping him keep them in check instead

Has a fuckin perfectly figured out skincare routine and he'sdragging all the others up with him

Generally v good at lazy/spa day kinda self-care

Has ADD (tho all the egos have ADD/ADHD tbh)

Chase has absolutely compared him to Mettaton X at some point andMarvin doesn't know how to react to that

Gets cold super easily and Hates It. Is an absolute lil bitchabout it and won't stop whining until he can get warm again(favourite way to do that is to cuddle Jackie, and he just goes allhappy and melty from it, but I still wouldn't try to talk to him if Iwere you. And Jackie is a good bf who puts up with Marvin's stupidcold hands and face)

Has two modes when cuddling btw, he either just lies peacefullywith someone (mostly Jackie) while having an arm draped over them orholding their hand or pressed up against them, or he turns into afuckin octopus. Good luck trying to get up, you won't succeed

Which has led to multiple instances of someone needing Jackie forsomething, only to find him unavailable bc he's completely trapped bya sleeping Marvin even if he himself is wide awake. But he enjoys ita lot too bc Hell Yes Affection and would never have the heart tomove him and wake him up

He's also p damn pointy so he's not really the most comfy personto cuddle but Oh Well

Also wakes up slow and says a lot of bullshit in the process (orstuff he'd normally filter out and not get to say, like sappy shit)

A flirty lil bitch

Knows Jackie blushes super easily and enjoys the fuck out of it.Constantly trying to figure out how little it'll take for him to beall red in the face (And he knows Jackie doesn't mind and he backsoff when he's told to. Don't worry. Consent is still there)

He on the other hand doesn't blush often so when he does it meanshe's Super Flustered

Ik i said this last night too but he knows how to dance and doesit p well tbh?? He used to dance a lot when he was a kid/teen butdropped it when he realised he was trans bc then he tried to be AsMasculine As Possible bc he felt like if he didn't he'd be "fakingit"

(Grew out of that eventually. He's so glad he did)

Insecure about more stuff than he would ever let you believe

Once he starts really caring about the other egos he tries So Hardto be good to them and secretly beats himself up sometimes for stillbeing an Asshole when he messes it up. Yeah it's angsty. He'd takehimself apart just to make it up to his friends for having been anasshole to them before

Not a morning person but he can still function if woken up early,he'll just make sure you know that he's Not happy about it

Very rarely gets dysphoric, really only if continously referred towith the wrong pronouns/gendered terms or if called his deadname

At some point he started shooting Jackie flirty looks while sayingbullshit in French (Jackie doesn't speak French) to fluster him butit got to the point where Marvin realised that if he wanted to keepdoing it he'd need to Actually Learn French instead of just spoutingthe same limited amount of bullshit all the time. And that's thestory of why he started studying a Whole Other Language

Likes flowers but knows fuck all about them

I don't think I'll ever properly type down how he got his scar sohere: before Marvin pledged alliance to the other egos, Anti alreadyassumed he would, and so he captured him and threatened to torturehim to get information out of him/possibly force him on his sideinstead. Marvin called his bluff and told him to fuck himself. Antigot angry, waved his knife a lil too close to Marvin's face duringone of his threats and ended up actually cutting him. Anti was superhappy bc holy shit I Did Something, and Marvin decided that he's hadenough and since he'd been saving his energy all this time, blew up acharge of electricity in Anti's face. He then proceeded to teleporthome (with the chair he was tied to still attached but uhh. That partof the story is a lil less dignified so shh)

Anti has had a special place in Hell for him ever since (and withthis I'm realising that Anti is actually p fuckin bad at his job??Wow)

Says he doesn't like his hair messed with. He's lying.

But you gotta be Special and Important To Him to have permissionto touch his hair (or a hairdresser I guess). But Jackie is one ofthose ppl so he can mess with Marvin's hair all he wants (he evenlearned how to braid hair just to surprise him and lemme tell you,Marvin was Absolutely v surprised) Stroke and pet his hair longenough and he'll go all melty

His teeth are a lil bit pointier than average (and Jackie is sofucking gay for that and I'm shaming him)

Used to write poetry as a teen. Don't bring it up, he'sembarrassed.

Shoves all his feelings and problems in a box and hides them inthe attic bc He Doesn't Want Them

Can sing okay but doesn't do it often bc it's not Perfect so it'sBad. Hums more often tho

He's scared of a bunch of stuff in horror movies (and triggered bysome) but No One is allowed to know that. He's glad most of theothers don't much like them either and thus they don't watch themtogether anyway. He really doesn't want others to see him scared bche thinks it'd make him look weak and ridiculous

(Yes, he double-standards himself vs other ppl a Lot. Being scaredor having bad mental health or messing up is only bad if he does it.But you didn't hear that from me.)

Pokemon is one of his biggest and longest-lasting hyperfixations

Holy shit I've never drawn him in a suit but my dudes he looks SoPretty in a well-fitted suit, Holy Fuck. Give him a lapel flower andit'll be Perfect. No one can resist that amount of charm

Knows how to walk (and even run and dance) in high heels but can'tfucking stand them (no pun intended, he just finds them reallyuncomfortable)

Will be stunned silent if anyone assumes he doesn't absolutelyAdore Jackie, both bc How Dare You and bc he's trying So Hard to be agood bf is he really That Bad at it?

Pressure is not his main stim but it's the best way to bring himout of a panic/anxiety attack and just ground him in general, espwhen he can't use his magic or doesn't think to use it. (He doesn'thave any weighted stuff so in others words: lie on him.) Once hecalms down enough he'll hopefully start doing his vital-readingmagic, which should help calm him more

(Also yeah, the whole vital-reading that I've probably talk aboutjust Way Too Much already but jic I'll mention it again anyway: hecan use his magic to read other ppl's vitals. It calms and comfortshim. He mainly does it to Jackie, who has given him blanketpermission for it)

Favourite stim is fondling with squishy things (like those foamanimal keychains??) and scraping stuff like candle wax or soap (itwould probably be chewing if he actually realised that that is aValid Stim but he Doesn't)

Has his own apartment for a while still after moving in with theother egos bc he doesn't expect it to last. He sells it about a yearlater

His job is being a magician too and doing his shows that bring inAbsolutely enough money for him to not have to get another job or doshows like every other night. Ppl don't know he has Actual MagicPowers which makes a lot of things easier for him

His masks are all self-made bc he didn't wanna chance lettinganyone else do it, and he's had many less fabulous ones before bc healways wants Better. The gold patterns on the one I've drawn him withbefore are covered in glitter. He has a couple other ones he usestho, all different styles and shapes and colours for the sake ofvariety. He always wears matching make-up (mainly eye make-up andlipstick) for his shows

The scoreboard on the fridge (a piece of paper where they trackevery time him and Jackie defeat each other in Anything At All) washis idea, but it was Jackie who drew the stick figure renditions ofthe two of them on it (so it was a joint effort, really. Yeah,ironic. Or typical)

Has no shame when it comes to PDA as long as it isn't suggestive,but Jackie is a lot less sure about it (esp when out in public) soofc he respects that

That also means that if Jackie decides to hold his hand in publiche gets So Fucking Giddy you have No Idea and also you wouldn'tbelieve it even if you saw

Speaking of giddy. If you manage to get him to start talking aboutJackie (not a hard thing to achieve tbh) he will get so happy andgiddy and excited and Will Not Shut Up okay. Or at least it'll takehim a While to realise that he's rambling and has completely shed hiscool exterior. He just really loves his bf okay and he kinda justwants everyone to know how great he is

Can remember names and face p well but numbers and dates? Nah son.You better believe he has to make memos and calendar entries on hisphone for Everything. He's glad he can remember his own birthday,almost everything else he just kinda remembers (so only as specificas season or month). He feels bad about it tho, esp when he has tocheck like twice a day coming up to an important date that yes, it'sstill two days away, he didn't miss it

Has the kinda handwriting that's v pretty to look at but is anabsolute Pain to try to read

#marvin the magnificent #marvelsepticeye #bc theres a bunch of that in there too #some other egos too but eh not gonna tag them #rivals au #headcanon #thank you btw!!!!#im v flattered that you love my asshole son so much #theenbywitch

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sporecollection · 6 years ago

Text

part two of my angsty sanders sides thing

TW: SELF HARM MENTION

After a moment of careful consideration, he nodded. “Oh, Virge, I'm so proud of you!” Patton grinned at him, opening his arms for a hug. Virgil leaned into the hug, accepting it for a moment before pulling back again.

“Okay, I'm gonna shower now.”

“Alrighty, kiddo. If you wanna talk after, I'll be in my room,” he smiled at Virgil, before patting his shoulder, standing, and leaving the side by himself again. Virgil sat lifeless for a moment, before standing and grabbing the mini speaker off his desk, his phone, and a change of clothes. He trudged quietly to the main bathroom, the first time he had in three days. Up until then, he had just been using the bathroom connected to his room, and he had taken down his mirror due to angrily punching, and breaking it right after the break up. He knocked on the closed door, and after no reply he pushed it open, stepped inside, and locked it. He set his speaker on the sink ledge, glancing in the mirror and wincing at the sight of himself.

He, to put it simply, looked bad. Matted hair in some places, smudged eyeshadow on his face, and tear tracks running through it. He just looked worse than he ever had. Even during the previous month's shut down he took better care of himself than this. After breaking his own gaze, he stripped and placed his dirty clothes into the hamper. The fresher scars on his wrists stung being open to air, but a quick wash and bandage would help immensely. As the water warmed, he started some playlist on the speaker and listened to it at an unusually quiet volume. He looked himself over again, checking out his bruised knuckles from his pointless punches from the other day. Once steam wafted from the shower, he stepped inside and let himself relax for the next half hour.

Away from Virgil was Roman and Patton, who was telling the other about their dinner plans for the night. The two were seated at the breakfast nook, talking quietly while Logan worked alone on dinner. Roman, unknown to Virgil, was hurting too. He hadn't meant to hurt Virgil the way he did. He didn't mean to hurt him at all. His heart still yearned for early mornings and late evenings spent between just the two of them. He couldn't reason with his ex, though. Virgil just went straight to shutting him out. He couldn't blame him, though. He would have done the same if it were his choice.

“So, Virgil's up showering now, so he should be down in an hour or so.” Patton explained to both his boyfriend and the other side sitting with him. “Make sure you're both on your best behaviors, and no bringing up what happened. Remember the five second rule. If they can't-”

“Fix it in five seconds, don't point it out at all. We know, Patton.” Roman finished for him, slumping onto the counter top. He gave a sigh, sitting back up quickly and combing his fingers through his purple locks. They were all out of costume, Roman in a simple crop top and jeans, Logan dressed in a button up and jeans, and Patton in a sweater and leggings. “What if he never forgives me for what I did?”

“He has the right not to, Roman. To put it simply, you fucked up. Any nasty looks or mournful expressions aimed at you were brought upon yourself. You weren't there in his time of need, and then you lashed out at him. It's not his fault, it's yours,” Logan spoke plainly, setting down the final chicken breast he would need to prepare. As he moved to the sink, he made direct eye contact with Roman. “You need to own up to your actions. He will be out of the bathroom in,” a pause as he checked his watch. “- seventeen minutes and eight seconds. If you don't have yourself pulled together by then, you won't eat dinner with the rest of us. I have full right to kick you out.”

“Log, isn't that going too far?” Patton stood from his chair, walking to his boyfriend and kissing his cheek. At Logan's sigh, Roman stood to sit in the living room. He couldn't watch them being sappy right now. His own heart ached too much. He heard Patton continuing softly in the background as he turned on the television. “I mean, he still has a while to sit in his room before we eat.”

“Yes, but Virgil's mental health is critical to keep Thomas's mental health in the right place,” Logan spoke hushed, voice almost upset. Roman tuned them out, sitting down and turning on whatever show was on. He glanced toward the stairs, sighing. That was one of Virgil's favorite spots to be. He always sat there when everyone else sat on the couch or in the side chair while. Eventually, Roman got him to join them on the couch, cuddled all up together as a group. Roman let his mind wander aimlessly as the television played whatever show it had turned onto.

Virgil let the water continue running in the shower as he grabbed his gauze and wrap bandages from under the cabinet. He pressed it up against his skin and flinched when someone knocked.

“Virge? It's Patton. You still in the shower?” Virgil hated that Patton knew when he was pulling a fake shower. He sighed as he turned off the water.

“No,” he mumbled, going back to the process of wrapping up his arms.

“Can I come in?”

“... okay.” Virgil couldn't help but give in. He moved to the door, unlocking it quietly as he pulled down his sleeves. Patton didn't need to see his scars. No one did. Roman never did, Patton still hadn't, Logan wouldn't ever. They didn't need to worry about him. Patton stepped inside gently, closing the door and blinking in surprise as his glasses fogged. “Sorry.” Virgil adjusted his sleeve, making sure it was pulled down enough.

“It's okay, kiddo. No problemo.” He laughed, taking off his glasses and smiling blindly at the other as he cleaned them off on his sweater. Virgil gave him a little smile back, sitting on the edge of the tub quietly. Patton leaned against the sink once he could see again, face still turned up in a smile. “You still on for dinner?” “Yeah. No point in saying no now, right?” Virgil shrugged a bit, rubbing at his eyes for a moment. With all the time he had spent in his room, one would’ve thought he slept, but of course he couldn’t. If he tried sleeping during the day it’d be too bright through his curtains, or at night it would be too dark, and he had gotten rid of his nightlight quite a while ago. There just wasn’t a happy medium. To make things worse, on the rare occasions where he did fall asleep, he woke either by nightmare or on his own within an hour. “Have you slept at all yet today?” Patton looked worried now, and wore the expression calmly. “No. Haven’t been able to.” Virgil watched Patton think something up, before the other replied. “You could always come sleep in my room if you want, you know. I don’t mind having a little sleepover.” His smile was genuine, the anxious side could tell. He nodded, before Patton gave a breath. “Alright. I’m gonna go downstairs and let you finish gettin’ ready. I’ll call you down if dinner’s ready before you are,” he said, before turning to leave. Virgil let him, waiting a long moment before wrapping up his other wrist. It had started to bleed in the time it was left unattended, but luckily it never peeked out from his sleeve. After a brief moment to psych himself up, he left the bathroom and began downstairs. The soft sound of The Office drifted up the staircase, becoming louder the further down Virgil walked. He paused once he could see the living room, eyes locked onto the figures on the couch. Patton and Roman, only one of the two actually watching the show. Roman looked out of it, just as out of it as Virgil felt. Patton looked nervous, anxiety ridden (probably Virgil’s own fault, he couldn’t help that his stomach was tying into knots), as he spoke absently to his boyfriend. He stood after a moment, moving to set the table. Virgil sat quietly on a stair, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his arms. He couldn’t help but watch Roman silently, his heart still burning with love for the other. He hated seeing him look like this. Like he didn’t belong. That was Virgil’s job. He was the one who deserved to be casted away from the group after not loving his boyfriend the way he was supposed to. But, no. He just got the lucky end of the deal as the sad, pitiful side, who had just gotten broken up with. Once he heard Patton moving toward the stairs, he stood, acting like he had just started to come down. The side’s face quickly changed from worry to a smile at the sight of Virgil. “Hey, kiddo! Perfect timing, I was just about to call you down.” “Ah, got lucky with my guess.” He tried for a little smile, eyes flitting to Roman who was looking at him now. It stung when Roman looked down, but he knew he couldn’t expect the world from him. They had just broken up after all. Patton led the other to the table, like he had never been in the house before. Virgil couldn’t complain, though, it was nice being treated this gently. He heard the shuffling of Roman pausing the show and getting up, and he immediately paused. The sitting situation would be awkward for sure, considering that, in order to not split up Logan and Patton, he’d have to sit between one of those two and Roman, like he used to. It didn’t used to be awkward. He gave a little, grounding breath, letting Patton push him gently into a chair. “Alrighty, what’s everyone want to drink?” Patton asked, smiling a bit. “I can get mine, dear,” Logan spoke from the kitchen, making Patton turn toward the two remaining sides. “Okay, what about you two?” “I’ll just have water, Padre.” Virgil almost flinched at Roman’s voice, but not because he was expecting anything negative. The creative side even sounded out of it, which was very uncharacteristic. “Gotcha! Virge?” “Uh, whatever’s fine.” He couldn’t help but shy away, knowing he had more than one set of eyes on him. Patton nodded, patting his shoulder as he left to the kitchen to get drinks. Virgil didn’t turn, keeping his eyes focused on the table. He could feel Roman’s presence behind him. It was clear the creative side wasn’t going to be sitting until told to. When Patton returned, he smiled. “Okay, who do you wanna sit by Virge?” “Oh. Um, it doesn’t really matter. It’s just supper,” he couldn’t help but mumble, something Roman would normally ask him not to do. He didn’t this time, and that only made his heart ache more. “You sure kiddo?” “Yeah, I’m sure.” The certainness in his voice surprised him. Patton looked to Roman for a second, before nodding. “Alrighty. I’ll sit next to you. Roman, you can pick where you sit.” He handed Roman his drink, before setting down his own and heading back into the kitchen to help Logan bring everything in. Virgil gave a breath, lifting his gaze from the table to look around. His heart was pounding, in silent hope that Roman would sit next to him. Silent hope that he could apologize for sucking too much. As an idea popped into his head, he slipped out his phone quietly. He never went anywhere without it. It held his vents and all kinds of bad things, but it held the good things too. Things he wanted to keep close. He opened up his messages, typing out and sending a quick one. He felt satisfaction in his heart at the tell-tale buzz from Roman’s pocket, and he looked toward the kitchen. The other two set down food, and Patton gestured for Roman to sit. Thankfully for Virgil, Roman gave in and took the spot next to him.

#writing tag #sanders sides #angsty #prinxiety #things are getting better

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weasleyimaginewheezes · 7 years ago

Text

George x reader / Now or never (Part 2)

Original Request: This might be really specific but I’ve just had this idea for a while and I suck at writing but can you do an imagine where reader is Sirius black’s daughter and is the same year as Fred and George and her personality is exactly like Sirius and she falls in love with George but the war is going on and death eaters are coming after them but they protect each other and can it just be really angsty and fluffy? I’m sorry I just love your writing so much you’re so good at it (From anon)

Request: NOW OR NEVER WAS SO GOOD AND I LOVE IT PLS MAKE A PART 2 (From anon)

A/n: Here you go anon! Beware this part is pretty angsty. Set in HBP and I did do the death eater scene from the movie but not the part when they burn the burrow down because that scene annoys me and is pretty pointless. Gif not mine. As always I’m a sucker for a sappy fluff ending. Anyway, enjoy 😊

Word Count: 2.3k+

Warnings: Mentions of grieving. Angst and hurt.

Part 1 | Part 2

He was gone. Well and truly gone.

When Harry had told you, you didn’t believe him. Because your father had just come back into your life less than a year ago. He couldn’t be dead. Harry tried to comfort you but he was dealing with the grief himself, you told him to just go and he abided, not wanting to upset you further. You held back your screams of anger and sadness that bubbled up inside you until you were alone. You couldn’t hold back any longer as you got tangled up in your own thoughts. You needed George, the one person who had left. Your screaming dissolved into tears as a gentle tap sounded on your window.

A small unrecognisable owl was perched with a letter tied to its leg, waiting expectantly. You wiped away some of your tears and grabbed the letter, ignoring the pestering owl looking for a treat. You tore it open and your spirits were lifted as you read the letter from George. His kind words of sorrow and comfort weren’t enough to stop the welling up of tears behind your eyes however.

You packed quickly for the end of the year and went to eat early hoping that you could avoid the sympathies from most. Unfortunately for you it was the end of term feast which meant that the food wasn’t laid out until dinner actually begun so you sat and waited. As you did so, you reread your boyfriend’s letter and thought about penning one back until you remembered that you would see him the next day on the platform where he had promised to meet you. You tried your best to smile happily at the thought but it was soon overpowered by your grief.

Students piled in for the feast and although you were sat at the Ravenclaw table, Harry and his friends still came over to say hi and check you were okay before sitting at their own table. You nodded blankly before becoming quite surprised as Luna Lovegood sat with you smiling sympathetically. Dumbledore said a few words and finally the food was set out. Luna cheered happily as she dished herself some pudding, not even looking at the main course platter. Normally you would have smiled with her, laughed with her and you other friends but today you just wanted to eat and be out of the great hall as quickly as possible.

Sleeping didn’t come easy, your mind kept you awake reliving Harry’s words or your last moment with your father. It had been at Christmas, he gave you a small present which was a picture frame of him and you when you were younger. You both looked happy. You remembered his watchful eye whenever you were sat with George and his little jokes. How you wish you could hear one of those again.

*****

The train ride back was long. Your friends tried their best to talk to you and distract you but it didn’t work. You missed the twins so much, they always had a magical way of cheering you up which never seemed to fail. Your heart felt heavy as you listened to the laughter and cheer of the compartment you sat in, it almost seemed impossible to feel that way right now. The only thing that made you feel hopeful was the thought of George’s arms being tightly wrapped around you and his lips on yours. So, when the train stopped you were the first one out of the door. Your eyes scanned the platform for George’s ginger locks and as soon as you spotted his towering figure behind Molly, you ran without a care towards him.

He grinned as you leapt into his open arms. Your head nuzzled into his shoulder as you breathed in his scent. His arms snaked around your waist and lifted you up before pulling back and smiling down at you, it became more saddened as he watched tears fall down your cheeks.

“Hey, it’s alright, love.” George kissed away the tears before he gently met your lips with a swift kiss. “I’m here.” And that was all you needed in that moment. George kissed your hands as he held them tightly, following his family as they led the way out of the train station.

The burrow seemed a good distraction, with all of its inhabitants there was never nothing going on. As soon as you got there, you realised someone was missing and turned towards George. “Where’s Fred?” At your question George began to look sheepish and avoided your gaze.

“Oh well – you see,” George stammered and your eyes narrowed in on his own.

“You haven’t told her?” Molly who was already making preparations for dinner, scolded her son with a stern look. George shook his head lowly.

“Told me what?” You looked between Molly and George with a frown.

“Me and Fred aren’t technically living her anymore.” Your brows furrowed together in confusion as you questioned him. “With the business and everything we’re living above the shop. It will be easier.” He shrugged with a worried look that you might be mad at him for not saying anything.

“Oh.” Your voice was quiet as you realised you wouldn’t be able to sneak into George’s room to cuddle with him.

“But hey, why don’t you stay with us for the summer?” George smiled hopefully and your hopes picked up with his suggestion. “It will be a bit of a tight squeeze but-“ He shrugged again and his smile grew wider. “Anything for you, my love.”

“Really? Fred won’t mind?” Your lips raised higher into a more defined smile as George laughed.

“He’s gonna have to deal with it because I’m not spending any more time apart from you.” He pulled you closer and your arms automatically swung around his neck, your hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He smiled widely as he kissed you tenderly.

“Okay, not in the kitchen come on.” Molly ushered you both out of the room with a kind laugh. George was happy to oblige as he pulled you upstairs to his and Fred’s old room. He pulled you onto his bed to cuddle and you laughed happily, forgetting everything that had been troubling you. George spooned you on his small single bed as he whispered excitedly about the shop. But before you knew it, your brain was blocking out his words as you thought back to the previous summer, seeing your father for the first time in 14 years and knowing now that you’d never see him again.

There was silence as George asked a question but you didn’t hear him. He became confused until he looked over to see you crying quietly. He immediately turned you around and held you closer, you cried onto his shoulder as he whispered words of comfort to you softly.

“It’s gonna be okay, you know when my dad-“ George’s voice was quiet as he held you but you soon pulled away to look at him with a tense expression.

“What? That’s not the same thing George.” You said, a quiet anger filling your voice. George hurried to backtrack on his words with a shake of his head.

“That’s not what I was saying, I just meant that it was hard for me too but-“

“But he came back.” You cut him off again, untangling yourself from his arms fully. He looked confused as you got up. He went to protest that that wasn’t what he meant before you beat him. “At least you’ve had your dad all your life George! Mine was in prison for half of mine and then when I finally got him back- he- he…” Your chest heaved with a loud sob as you broke down onto the adjacent bed. George hurriedly went over to you but you shoved him away. “Just leave please.” Your voice was full of hurt and constricted by the overwhelming emotion you felt. George didn’t try to argue and instead left with a promise of seeing you at dinner.

You calmed yourself down enough to move to sit on the small window sill. You observed the bright blue summer sky with the occasional cloud passing by with a sense of sadness. The outside atmosphere was serene and it would have made anybody happy but not you and not today. Your mind replayed the brash argument with your boyfriend and you had the overwhelming sense that everything was falling to pieces right in front of you.

Downstairs a forlorn George sat with his head in his hands as his mother gave him some words of advice. “Georgie, she’s just lost her father.”

“I know that Mum! I feel like she’s pushing me away and I don’t know what to do.” George sighed sadly as he looked towards the stairs, wishing that (y/n) was wrapped up his arms, protected from this cruel world.

“All you can do is be there for her. She needs you, she might not realise it now but she does.” Molly rubbed her son’s shoulder comfortingly with a sad smile before she went to serve up dinner. “Would you let (y/n) know dinner’s ready?” George nodded, happy for the excuse to see if his girlfriend was okay.

Your head rested against the window as you thought more about everything. George peered in through the door with a small knock and you had never been more grateful to see his face. You didn’t like fighting with George even if it was a small argument and more one sided. He smiled unsurely as he entered the room, gaining confidence as your smile lifted. You both went to apologise at the same time before giggling at each other.

“I am truly sorry, love.” George sat down on his bed still tentative towards you. You bit your lip as you hopped down from your spot and crossed the room to him, sitting in his lap with an apology of your own. He stroked your hair sweetly and kissed your temple as you snuggled up further into his warmth. “I was supposed to come and get you for dinner.” He laughed as you defiantly curled more into him.

“You know, I’m not actually that hungry.” You smiled up at George from where your head was rested on his chest and he laughed again, leaning down to kiss your lips passionately without objection.

*****

The summer that followed was brilliant. You stayed with Fred and George above their shop and helped them with the business. It was amazing as you witnessed their dream brought to life and all through their own hard work. You also took up some shifts at St mungo’s to start your own dream of becoming a healer and George was so proud. The pain of your loss tended to cloud most of your days but with George there to cheer you up it was hard to stay sad for long and if you didn’t feel like being cheered up, George was happy to let you cry on his shoulder and fall asleep in his arms.

Soon enough Christmas came and you agreed to spend it at the burrow. It was cosy and warm, the smell of mince pies greeted you as soon as you entered the home and everything was perfect. Most nights you spent in George’s arms laughing about the budding romance between the younger teens of the family and a good amount of time not talking as well which caused some protests from other members of the house especially when Fred was eating.

And then one night as you were beating George at a rematch of wizards’ chess a loud bang sounded outside and you jumped up terrified. “Georgie?” You turned around to meet his eyes and saw the fear behind them, that must have mirrored your own. He walked to you and held your hand tightly, walking with you to the front door. You watched as harry ran out to chase after Bellatrix and then Ginny followed. George became tense as he watched his sister run through the surrounding fire. Your anger burned fiercely, the woman who killed him was within your grasp.

You went to run but George’s strong grip pulled you back. You resisted, hitting him in your anger but he only held you closer. You screamed into his chest and Molly insisted that George take you back inside. You resisted more, tears falling heavily as you were taken upstairs and sat on George’s bed, your chest rose with panic and fear. George sat beside you and pulled you into his side with peppered kisses all over your face to calm you. His calming efforts began to settle you down as the commotion outside continued.

George kept his promise of protection as he held you tightly until he knew it was safe and everything outside had been handled. He moved to let you go but before he could he realised you were asleep, cutely snuggled in his arms. He relaxed himself as Molly came to check that you were both okay, George nodded surely before falling into a calm sleep himself.

It was a while as you both slept before you disrupted the peace, sitting up in a panic. You had a vivid flashback of everything that had happened and you screamed. George panicked himself before attempting to calm you again and holding you closer.

“Georgie, I- I- Can’t-“ You panted through your unsteady breathing as he held you close to his chest.

“Shhh, love it’s okay, I’m here and I always will be.” You nodded with the inkling of a smile and George just kissed your tears away before kissing your lips and cupping your face. And however, ridden with doubt and grief you were, you knew his words were true.

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#Harry Potter #george weasley #george weasley x reader #george x reader #angst #fluff #George imagine #fred and george #weasley twins #reader insert #my fic #part 2 #Sirius black #hbp #hp imagine

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thisgirlhastales · 7 years ago

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after that last anon you answered, i'm now curious about how you pace your stories! i'm usually a little too excited for all the things i want to happen, so i do a lot of skipping ahead and getting to the meat for a fast-paced story. but!! your space cowboy stories are SO GOOD and i know they wouldn't be the same with my kind of pacing, so yeah. i'm curious ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hi there, honey! :D *hugs*

Okay, this was another question I had to think about for a long time … I often conflate pacing and overall story structure, so fair warning, that is probably gonna happen here.

I’m going to start off with a fairly obvious fact, which is that different stories require different pacing, and that the rules in fanfiction, I find, are a little looser.

This is because we rarely need much exposition in fanfiction, since we’re assuming our readers already know these characters and these settings, so we don’t have to worry too much about explanations or descriptions. That being said, there is always some world-building (particularly in AUs), and that can be pretty challenging to insert without disrupting the … narrative flow, I guess?

There’s a sort of … ebb and flow, overall, to a story. There are quiet times and loud times. There’s talking and then there’s action. Now, the other reason why I say fanfiction is different is because I am perfectly happy reading a story that is literally just characters being domestic, or having emotional conversations (communication, I love it so much) or … every other fun trope in fandom.

I think the way I’ve always approached pacing is to fret about it in the planning stage. Once I start writing, I’m very character-focused, so my main concern is keeping everybody as in-character and “realistic” as possible, since I usually already have an outline with all the plot/emotional beats in place (written or up in my head). But pacing does come up at times even when I have most of the story planned, and I think the biggest indicator of a pacing issue is when you get stuck while writing.

Getting stuck isn’t always about that narrative flow — there are hundreds of reasons why I get writer’s block — but I have found that sometimes it’s because I’m writing something that’s disrupting the flow. Sometimes it’s a dialogue scene that runs too long, and characters are saying/explaining things that I could just show or summarize in a descriptive paragraph. Sometimes it’s a scene that’s totally redundant, period, and I scrap it entirely.

In other words, skipping ahead and getting to the meat is totally valid on occasion ;D

As for the space cowboys … *throws hands in the air* … Here’s a look as to how that mess got organized into a semi-coherent flow of words — massive, likely incoherent ramble under the cut!

First off: a one-story example — The Six-Gun Sound.

That story has the most basic pacing ever. Action scene at the start, exposition/dialogue scene right after that sets up the main plot/motive for the characters, followed by a steady build that goes right into that heist. The heist then slowly builds until BAM. Everything goes wrong, there are literal explosions, and then a climax of both the main plot-line and the emotional plot-line. (There is pacing set for both of those when I plan, usually. The plot informs the emotional beats and vice versa, depending on which is more important at any given time.)

In shorter words: action, calm, build-up to more action, big action, calm, and then the resolution. That kind of “ebb and flow” is basically how most stories work, I believe. If you have that going on in your tales, then I think you’re golden :D

I totally break those rules in many of my other tales, but, yeah. There it is ;)

Now, secondly: the entire Trouble’s Making Everything All Right series.

That is just … well, a giant mess, but it’s one that I find works for me? I might be confusing pacing with other parts of narrative structure, but overall, there’s a certain ebb and flow that leads to the first huge climax (which I believe is Short Change Heroes). Um, I’m going to try and explain and hope that it helps you?

Trouble Coming is essentially my expositional story (though I initially had no idea how long this series would go). If, for example, in your own writing you feel like “skipping” all that establishing information, well, I’m gonna be horrible and give you that old cliché — show and don’t tell (much).

I still had to explain some stuff in that story, but having no Team Voltron, having Lance and Keith sitting around that poker table, cheating at cards (Keith), and flirting as a distraction (Lance), while being tough as nails, pretty much establishes that something not good has happened. Especially as Keith worries about making ends meet.

Following that, the attack afterwards, which they treat as business as usual, barely blinking at the deaths they cause … Again, I don’t think I needed to tell you guys that they had been through some bad stuff. And they were continuing to go through some bad stuff. I don’t actually explain much until more than halfway through the story, when they’re back at the inn and there’s a moment of calm. (Again, I’m not great at pacing, but I tried to put a bit of ebb and flow in this series as a whole.) (Action at the beginning, sort of, and then calm.)

Six Gun Sound is pretty much all action, and it retroactively explains partially how Lance and Keith came to be the way they are (and how they got together ;D), and since you’ve already seen how jaded and broken they are in Trouble Coming, I like to think it makes for a sharper, harsher contrast to see them more … good just as they cross that line into becoming The Two McClains. (Lots of action/emotional conflict.)

Following that action-filled, emotional story, we’ve got Broken Bone World, which jumps forward to the more jaded Lance and Keith, but this time, we get to see them relax and perfectly in love with each other — and generally more settled in their new mercenary existence. (More calm.)

And then, Shuffling Madness, back in the past, is lots of action, lots of suffering — I hoped that seeing them as Paladins after three stories as space cowboys would be quite impactful in hindsight? Basically, seeing them being so optimistic about their chances makes you wince on their behalf because you, as the reader, already know how they end up. (Plenty of action/emotional turmoil.)

This is the point where the series is actually building towards the main climax. I had hinted at Keegin Dras going all the way back to the first story. But Paradise City is where the tension, um, kicks up, I guess (some of y’all may remember that cliffhanger? Er, sorry?) (Build-up to lots of action with a sudden stop and cliffhanger.)

I really like contrast, so this is my own personal opinion/writing style, but, um, yeah, there you go.

Edit: Damn, I totally forgot to mention Heaven Above You, which was probably one of my favourites to write — it prolongs the tension between Paradise City and Short Change Heroes, but also, while it isn’t too heavy on the action, I think of it is as still tension building because it shows that defining moment when Lance chose to take a life that wasn’t a direct threat to him. It’s an almost purely expositional story, but it sets up the emotional conflict of Short Change Heroes, while Paradise City sets up the main plot conflict?(Bit of action, mostly calm, but lots of emotional turmoil.)

Short Change Heroes is a damn disaster, but it’s a disaster I kinda really loved writing. There are just so many conversations. It really shouldn’t have had that many dialogue scenes. Holy crap, that war council is a story in and of itself, and I am definitely not Tolkien, holy crap, no.

But, um, here’s where I contradict myself and say — I didn’t care about pacing, I just wanted to get these people (Team Voltron + The Two McClains) actually talking because communication rocks, and they absolutely would’ve wanted to talk a ton after a year apart.

I did try and chop up some of the dialogue/exposition with a few action-type scenes (the interrogation scene, then that gang ambush, and that brief attack during the war council), but those scenes were also key to the plot-line and the emotional stuff. I was focused on pacing when I chose where to place those scenes, so that things would feel balanced and move forward smoothly.

So, if in your own writing, you feel like you want to skip ahead, but you also feel like whatever information you need to impart (or interaction these characters need to have) is important to the plot/pacing (e.g. you need a quiet moment before battle or you need to show off an action scene before you can get to that juicy emotional resolution), find a way to make it fun for you to tell! I am a sucker for gritty honesty or sappy confessions or no-holds-barred arguing, so that’s how I handle some exposition. I love creating angsty situations instead of just explaining that someone’s had a bad time.

Basically, in summation: I try to keep action and moments of stillness somewhat balanced.

— A huge burst of action demands a longer moment of quiet/reflection, or a longer emotional conversation and/or resolution afterwards.

— A massive emotional fight/discussion demands that the characters either have time apart or some kind of quiet/temporary peace after (even if the fight isn’t resolved right away or the discussion hasn’t unloaded everything in their heads).

This is my preferred rhythm to story-telling, both on small (one story) or large (series) scales. This way a story doesn’t feel too stilted, or overly long (too many quiet moments?), or like it isn’t letting up/allowing the reader to settle (too many action moments?) — an even rhythm/flow carries the reader along easily (hopefully).

I break these rules of mine often, but this is a general rant ;D

I really, really hope this has helped you, that this hasn’t bored you to death, and that I haven’t been totally nonsensical. I am honestly not even sure I answered this question at this point — it kinda just turned into a freakishly long ramble. *sweats* Sorry!

You are very kind to ask, and I am so grateful to you! Best of luck with the writing, dear! *all the hugs*

#voltron #the two mcclains #space cowboys #on writing #rants and ramblings #answering the kind folks who ask stuff :)#jilliancares

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speckledfeatherrs · 7 years ago

Photo

TODDVIOLA PLAYLIST

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Above is a link to a YouTube playlist preloaded with all the songs. They are not in any particular order, nor do I feel that they have a particular order, so putting it on shuffle should be just fine. This was put together from my own random collection of music, so I’m sure there are many other songs that fit them besides these. Below the cut, I am putting links to each individual song so you can look through and listen to only the ones you want if you wish. I’ll also put a small description on what I, personally, think of when listening to a particular song (there will be spoilers for all the books so read the descriptions at your own risk).

I hope you enjoy! And please, feel free to reblog and add more songs!

Technicolor Beat - Oh Wonder

An aesthetic song. The song that inspired me to make this playlist. The feeling the two of them have around each other, the calmness and the comfort when there is nothing but death and destruction around them.

All We Do - Oh Wonder

An aesthetic song. They both know that things won’t ever be perfect, but they have each other and that will be enough. Even during times when the routine of running and fighting and barely scraping by drives them to the edge.

Back to Earth - Steve Aoki feat. Fall Out Boy

Humanity is different now that they’re no longer on earth. ‘The brightest things fade the fastest’ - Todd and Viola afraid of losing the other.

Better - OneRepublic

(Todd) Learning about his Noise, the Mayor’s Noise, how powerful it is, how scared he is of that power, and how it’s almost addicting when he keeps growing with it.

Compass - Zella Day

Reminded to me of the end of the third book. So near the end of the struggle, where they are separated again and the feeling is almost bittersweet but they do find each other again. Like how they say they aren’t leaving each other even when they aren’t together.

DNA - Clarity

(Todd) His life in New Prentisstown living without Viola. (Viola) Her life with the Healers learning about the growing rebellion against the Mayor. They feel out of place, lost, feeling the tension around them, but remembering that the other is out there somewhere.

Do It All For Love - Take That

No explanation needed, it’s all the lyrics. Let your sappy OTP loving heart be free with this song.

Don’t Let Go - Adam Taylor

An instrumental song. It’s from a soundtrack, but give it a chance. This one is hard to put into words, but somehow it just has that heartbreaking and yet hopeful feel to it that captures them well.

The End of All Things - Panic! at the Disco

Another sappy OTP song. This song makes me cry every damn time. ‘In these coming years’ makes me think of when Todd finally wakes up, and they know they’ll be together for the rest of eternity.

Fears - MTNS

The sense of sadness they both feel when they fear that the other has betrayed them (aka when Viola sees Todd with the uniform on walking with Davy, when Todd thinks Viola voluntarily left to join the Answer/when he saw her hug the Mayor).

Feels Like The End - Shawn Alexander

Their time separated in New Prentisstown. There are parts that remind me of the desperation Todd felt when Viola was shot and they were greeted by an empty Haven and Mayor Prentiss.

Glass Heart Hymn - Paper Route

This song gave me “ Chaos Walking “ vibes. Yes, Todd and Viola are still the main focus but it feels almost like an anthem for the story as a whole. ‘One brother’s dead, a new brother’s born’ - Davey getting killed, Todd being replaced as the son in the Mayor’s mind. The chorus of Hallelujahs from female voices like the Answer cutting into the men’s chaotic world. ‘Memories as heavy as a stone’ - the horrible acts that happened in Prentisstown’s past. I could go on and on about this song.

Hurts Like Hell - Fleurie

(Viola) That horrible, horrible moment at the end of the last book when Todd died. Because he did die, and before Ben heard Todd’s Noise deep deep down, they both thought he was gone forever. And she broke.

Heart Hope - Oh Wonder

There’s a bunch of Oh Wonder on here, oops. But their aesthetic is so mesmerizing. And because Hope was a theme in their story, this song seemed fitting. Even if they both never really thought they felt it.

Home - Gabrielle Aplin

(Viola) The girl who’s never had a home outside the walls of a spaceship. Journeying the new world with Todd, keeping her parents in her heart, trying to see if she can really find a home on this new planet, and realizing that home is wherever Todd is.

Human - Daughter

(Viola) About Todd. Especially when he seems distant because his Noise is lost to her, when he seems lost from her in general, when it feels like they might lose. When she’s questioning her own humanity.

Just My Soul Responding - Amber Run

You guessed it! Another OTP song. A bit of an angsty one, when they feel like they’re divided because of the choices they are making in New Prentisstown.

Kids - Stranger Things

Because at the heart of it all, Todd and Viola are just kids. They have seen a lot but they are young, and they are resilient, and they are brave and brilliant and a bit broken.

Landslide - Oh Wonder

Wow another Oh Wonder song, is anyone shocked? This song is really adorable and sweet. It’s just about people being supportive and kind and caring to each other. Which is exactly what these two have with each other.

Livewire - Oh Wonder

Whoops, another. Not sorry. The moments before they kiss. And then they finally do.

Lost Stars - Begin Again

(Viola) The lyrics will explain it better than I can. Because even though Viola was met with death and fear from the second she landed, she still has a soft heart and won’t lose who she is.

One Last Time - Jaymes Young

Get ready to cry. From the viewpoint of either of them in the moments when they thought they were going to die in the arms of the other.

Paradise - Coldplay

(Viola) The lyrics have it all my friends.

Powerful - Major Lazer feat. Ellie Goulding

Together, Todd and Viola are invincible. Reminded me of this quote from the book: “It’s not that you should never love something so much it can control you. It’s that you need to love something that much so you can never be controlled. It’s not a weakness. It’s your best strength.”

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

(Todd) When Ben and Cillian are rushing him out of Prentisstown, and Todd finally leaves it all behind for the first time. He’s on his own.

Runaway - Grace Mitchell

Another OTP song. What can I say, I’m a sap.

Salvation - Gabrielle Aplin

Oh look another sappy OTP song.

See You Soon - Amber Run

Catching glimpses of each other in New Prentisstown. Separation. Hoping against hope that they would be together again soon. I feel this is more from Todd’s point of view than Viola’s, but both work.

Soldier - Fleurie

(Todd) As the world is watching him become a solider against his will, fighting a war he never wanted and did everything he could to stop.

Madness - Ruelle

Both Todd and Viola being held down by the Mayor’s control and unhinged mind. Watching as he plunges them into war. Watching the world start to burn all around them.

Sledgehammer - Rihanna

These kids keep getting the hell back up every damn they fall. Reminded me of this quote from the book: “Here’s what I think. I think maybe everyone falls. I think maybe we all do. And I don’t think that’s the asking. I think the asking is whether we get back up again.”

Start A Riot - BANNERS

Both Todd and Viola questioned how dangerous they can be when fighting for each other. Everyone around them knows they would burn the entire world down for each other. They fought and won that war for each other.

Start of Time - Gabrielle Aplin

This song was written about the feeling of relief and release that someone experiences when they finally find someone who shares similar ways of thinking, ways of viewing the world, similar experiences. It’s a story of feeling lost and alone but finally being understood. Because the rest of the world always thinks they understand Todd and Viola, but they don’t. They have each other for that feeling of belonging.

True Love - Once Upon A Time

Okay I will admit that this song is a bit cheesy for them, but the title grabbed my attention and I still love this song in general. For those of you who watch/watched the show like I did, you know what scene this is from. When I listened to it for this playlist, I imagined it as the end of the last book, starting with the two of them on the beach right after the Mayor finally gave in. Moving to when Todd was hit, moving to realizing he was alive, moving to past the book’s end to when he wakes up finally.

Wait - M83

Another aesthetic song, really. I’m not sure how to describe it, but it just has a certain feel to it. Some scenario where the two of them are silent next to each other, gazing up at the stars. Or the two of them being separated and staring up at the sky at the same time, wondering where the other is.

The Way - Zack Hemsey

(Todd) This song is pretty intense. It is gritty, and painful, and emotional, and brought me this sense of clash and broken-but-not-taken-down. It builds and builds and builds.

White Blood - Oh Wonder

Ah yes another Oh Wonder song that also doubles as another sappy OTP song. Enjoy.

Wondering - Jaymes Young

Flips flops perspectives between the two of them, during the time when they were separated.

Who We Want To Be - Tom Day

Another instrumental piece because I’m a sucker for instrumental pieces. This song always has the ability to make me a pile of angsty feelings. It’s bittersweet. Hopeful but sad. Light but deeply intense. And the title really seemed to fit them and their struggles, their war inside themselves as war begins and people die because of what they’re doing.

To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra

(Todd) Think about Ben. And Cillian. And Todd. And how everything was taken from them so suddenly, before any of them were ready. How their small family was broken apart and how Todd lost his home and dads all in one fateful moment.

#chaos walking #todd hewitt #viola eade #toddviola #patrick ness #playlist #music

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