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heesdreamer · 2 years ago

Text

it will be

PAIRING ➩ sunghoon x reader x jay

SUMMARY ➩ starting your life in college filled with your mothers paranoia and lack of social skills, you befriend three boys with a long twisted history. a history that somehow leads to the handsome boy with the cold stare.

GENRE ➩ slight mystery but mainly college slice of life strangers to enemies to friends to lovers (lol) with a love triangle

WARNINGS ➩ mentions of character death and suicide (not proofread)

WC ➩ 14.6k

Your mother had always made it clear to you what type of people to stay away from.

You’d hear countless stories and lectures, paranoia fueled nostalgia about girls who smacked their gum too loud and teachers who have bushy mustaches.

She spent most of your childhood passing on her warnings to you, preparing you for the trials and many characters life would throw in your path, and you held onto every word.

It almost became a game between the two of you, you’d lean over in public and tug on her sleeve, giving a subtle nod towards a stranger while out in public. She’d either give you a soft shrug, a smile and a nod, or she’d furrow her eyebrows and wag her fingers.

The latter was the expression you saw the most, and it was her way of telling you, that person was absolutely up to no good.

It’s times like this you wish your mother was here with you and that it wouldn’t be a total social disaster if she was. You considered for a second pulling your phone from your bag and giving her a call, asking her read on the people around you in a soft hushed whisper.

And there was lots of people around you. It was the first day of college orientation and you were standing in, what was apparently, a student hotspot. You’d wish you’d known this sooner so you could’ve mapped out your route better and avoided this mess of uniforms and loud voices.

You imagined the way you were raised saved you from a lot of awkward situations, possibly helping you to avoid ever being pranked or taken advantage of throughout high school.

But now that you were a freshly turned adult and starting your new independent free life, you started to think her paranoia had rubbed off on you completely. You were a mess and no amount of keeping your head held high and shoulders back was disguising it.

You don’t think you were standing still for that long, although maybe your figure stood clutching your single book was just too hard to avoid in the rushing foot traffic around you, but you realized you must’ve been dazed out when you felt a body slam into you from behind.

Propelling forward, your hands went out in front of you and collided roughly onto the cement. A hiss of pain shot it’s way out from between your clenched teeth and you shut your eyes tight in a silent prayer you hadn’t broken any skin.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” The voice coming from your right was pitchy and frantic, guilt and panic coating the words and you sighed softly, furrowing your brows at the sidewalk below you. When you finally took a glance up at your collider, you attempted to tame your expression to a neutral one.

You were slightly taken back to see, not one, but three people around you. All of their gazes held different levels of upset and you quickly pieced together the one with the red face and jittering hands was the one who had run into you.

“I’m so sorry.” The boy was frowning deeply and tugging on the sleeve of his knitted sweater, for a moment you wondered if he was going to cry. “I’m really so sorry, they always tell me I need to watch where I’m walking.”

You scanned your eyes to the two boys next to him and one gave you a soft shrug in approval to what he was saying.

The other was suddenly kneeling down beside you, reaching over to grab your book that had been abandoned in the grass for the length of your conversation. He looked at the cover for just a moment before smiling and nudging it in your direction.

Despite the short duration they’ve been in your line of sight, you could practically see your mother next to you, giving you a warm smile and a thumbs up as she pointed at the trio of boys.

That was all you needed to give you a jump, taking your book back and standing swiftly. You didn’t bother brushing the rocks from your knees or checking if they were bleeding, you needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

“Not a big deal.” You muttered, trying to keep it as genuine as you could muster. And it truly was not a big deal, the boy was sorry and obviously meant no harm. Yet the embarrassment of both falling and your terrible social skills was getting to you.

You heard a soft squeal like groan and your eyes widened, shooting back to the boy who had hit you.

“You’re bleeding.” He practically shrieked and now you were truly convinced he was going to start crying any moment now. “Let us make it up to you, do you like chocolate?”

“How about coffee?” The second boy, the one who had shrugged, was speaking now and your eyes floated in his direction before going back to the first who was now digging through his bag, presumably for chocolate.

You were fully furrowing your eyebrows now, not bothering to mask your expression of confusion. The boy who had picked up your book was smiling still, playful amusement now gracing his features.

He felt your gaze on him and met your eyes, startling you slightly, he furthered your confusion by raising an eyebrow at you and adjusting his glasses. For a split second you mistook his expression as flirtatious and you felt sleazed out before realizing it was simple adoration for his friends antics.

“I think,” You cleared your throat and thankfully the first boy halted in his backpack rummaging, still looking flustered. “I’d prefer a free coffee over…. your backpack candy.”

The three remained frozen for a moment before the second boy started to laugh, swaying into the one with glasses. “Jake, seriously dude. Why would she eat candy from a stranger?”

The first boy, who you now knew was called Jake, looked insulted and even more taken back as the conversation went on. “I literally go here, look at my beanie. Am I going to poison her in broad daylight right in the square?“

Your eyes trailed up to his beanie and you almost laughed, now noticing your universities logo knitted onto the fold. The boy with glasses was still smiling as he watched you, seemingly gauging your reactions to the current topic.

“To be fair the coffee would be free regardless.” Your attention went back to the second boy and you were starting to feel used to the dizzying pace of conversation changes. “Our friend works there, we don’t have to pay.”

“Sounds like a friend I’d want to have.” You were proud of the way it flowed off your tongue, feigning like you weren’t dripping in awkwardness was working in your favor.

With soft smiles you watched them turn on their heels and for a moment you lagged, wondering if you were meant to follow them or if they were just joking about hanging out with you. The paranoia was quickly lost when the boy with glasses glanced behind him, waiting for you to catch up.

——

It didn’t take long for you to understand that ‘getting free coffee from our friend’ more so meant they were planning to beg and plead with the pretty boy behind the counter for drinks.

The second you had walked through the door, a chirpy whistle ringing through the speakers to announce your arrival, the boy wearing an apron had sighed and rolled his eyes in your direction.

“Guys, not today. It’s busy okay.” He was waving a hand in dismissal but he had no annoyance on his face despite the exaggerated expressions. Still despite his warnings, the trio of boys all rushed towards the counter top and you followed hesitantly behind them.

“It’s urgent this time Sunoo.” Jake rushed out and the pink haired barista, Sunoo (apparently), put a hand on the counter and gave Jake a knowing look. “No I mean it this time, our new friend is injured.”

You completely froze at his word choice and four sets of eyes looked in your direction. Sunoo’s eyes softened seeing your bloody knees and hands, getting a closer look as you awkwardly waved as an introduction.

“What’d you do Jay?” He was asking and you felt confused for a second before remembering you hadn’t even gotten the other boys names.

Your silent question was quickly answered by the boy in glasses yelling out in defense and smacking a hand on the counter top. “Why would it be me?“

“It was Jake.” The second boy, still unnamed to you, was talking again and you watched him silently. “But it was an accident and we are here requesting an apology coffee.”

Sunoo’s eyes were flickering over their shoulders and back to you now and you held his gaze, curious about his thoughts on the situation. “Did they offer a real apology first?”

The other boys turned back to look at you and you once again saw Jake’s eyes well up with guilt for hurting you. You shrugged softly and dug the toe of your shoe towards the floor.

“I like coffee.”

——

You’d been spending the last few weeks waiting for your genetic ‘bad person’ radar to go off.

At times you felt guilty for almost looking for a reason to not trust the four boys who had quickly become your first and only friends at college and quite frankly, throughout your entire school career.

During one of your many movie nights, you’d just sit and watch their faces. Waiting for a moment of fake expression, a slight glare towards the others or a glitch in their nice facade. But you were quickly understanding that you had simply hit the lottery on friends.

You were especially fond of Jungwon, the final nameless boy had swiftly infiltrated your daily routine and become your closest and most trusted friend. You knew you weren’t his bestfriend, considering he was the type of person who made friends anywhere he went, but you found yourself feeling lucky he was yours.

The other three were just as good, although slightly more extroverted than you were prepared for. Jake was loud and puppy like, and absolutely clumsy, something you should’ve realized considering your first encounter.

Jay wasn’t around as much as the other three, rarely texting back in the group chat but Jungwon assured you he was just busy studying and that he also was on the football team, which surprised you.

When he was around, he was typically quiet and silently moving around with an amused look remaining stuck on his face.

And most of your mornings throughout the week, you spent with Sunoo, sitting in the same spot in the corner of the small coffee shop and attempting to show gratitude for all the free drinks he gave to you.

It was taking you some time to catch onto their rhythm, they were obviously familiar with each other and had learned each other’s patterns and behaviors but you felt a small bud of hope and pride knowing you had managed to make friends despite how sheltered you felt on your first day.

Now however, you were regretting it.

Somehow, unbeknownst to you, Jake had not only managed to drag all 3 of you to Jay’s first football game of the year, but he had also gotten you all to coordinate supportive outfits.

“I definitely don’t like the school enough to be wearing this.” Your mouth was downturned in a slight pout and your arms were crossed tightly in front of you, resisting the urge to scratch at the paint on your cheeks.

“But we like Jay.” Jake argued, stretching his leg over the bleacher and tumbling into the spot next to you. You heard Sunoo groan from the other side of him as pieces of his popcorn spilled overtop. “And you look sort of badass.”

You turned your head to scowl at him and met his smiley face, the mock war paint across his raised cheeks was mirroring yours.

“You do a bit.” Your eyes shifted slightly to watch Jungwon’s head peek out from behind Sunoo. They looked like three meerkats all staring at you with big smiles. “The pout really adds to the intensity.”

“Oh I can be intense.” You argued and uncrossed your arms, placing them firmly down on the bleachers. You tried to hold back the shiver that wracked through you when your hands touched the dewy droplets.

Then the game was starting and Jay was following his teammates out onto the wet grass, his eyes focused and more intense than you were used to.

“Let’s go Jongsung.” Jake was springing from his seat suddenly, arms up in the air and you jumped back to avoid the rain of popcorn that he seemingly forgot he was holding.

You were stopped in your slide away from Jake and his food tornado when you smacked into somebody’s side, you quickly swung your head around to glance to your right and froze up at the icy glare being shot your way.

The boy sitting next to you was staring daggers down towards you as you leaned back onto your hands, attempting to distance yourself from his face while also not wanting to sit on the wet popcorn.

There was a beat of silence that passed between the two of you, the sounds of your friends cheering and the plays of the game being announced slightly drowned out but the rush of anxiety in your head.

You weren’t sure what you were waiting for, if you were expecting the boy to snap at you for colliding with him or maybe even pick a fight with Jake for spilling his popcorn all over the surrounding area. His eyebrows were downturned still and you imagined whatever it was, couldn’t be good.

For a second you could see your mom, frowning and wagging her finger in you in a haste to alert you that this guy was bad news, and then he spoke.

“You have popcorn in your hair.”

Your mouth parted in surprise and it took you a moment to process that he was speaking, and that it was directed towards you, and he hadn’t called you an idiot for hitting him so suddenly. Without moving you glanced up at your hair, still frozen in your seat.

“I’m sorry about my friend.” A voice was coming from behind you now and you realized Sunoo had climbed out of his seat and was now sitting on the bleacher above you, watching the interaction with a curious look. “She’s an idiot.”

This knocked you out of your trance and you scowled, turning your body to smack his leg and push him as he started to laugh and scoot back towards his seat next to Jungwon. You turned back to the boy and your scowl dropped when you met his stare again.

“I’m sorry.” You tried to keep your voice steady but your eyes failed you, bouncing all around his face and back over his shoulder to avoid looking at him. He didn’t respond to you, only watching you intensely for a moment and then turning back away from you.

Once the hold of his gaze was lifted you slowly turned your body back to face the field, locking eyes with your friend who was standing against the fence down on the greenery. He raised an eyebrow in your direction and you titled your head in confusion, but a whistle was blown and he was jogging back to the benches before you could get an explanation.

——

The boy eventually left and you were able to relax, the game went by faster than you had thought it would and you even found yourself having a lot of fun watching them play, despite not understanding exactly why you were standing and cheering as you followed Jake’s lead. You were glad to be leaving the stands now though, hands cold and stiff, your nose was most likely bright red as you sniffled and walked down the slippery steps.

Out in the parking lot, it was dark now except for the bright lights from the field causing a slight white hue onto the parked cars. You carefully avoided puddles as you listened to your friends animatedly talk and recap the plays.

“So you enjoyed it then?” A voice was calling out slightly, cutting off Jungwon mid sentence and causing the three of them to stop their pace and glance behind you. You followed their actions, turning around slowly to see who had spoke.

There was two boys you didn’t recognize approaching you and you felt a spike of anxiety run through you at the unfamiliar situation. Their football uniforms showing your schools logo slightly calmed your nerves as you figured your friends must know them.

However you felt a hand wrap around your arm and turned your head to see Jake scowling and pulling you back towards the three of them. You hadn’t seen Jake with such a negative expression before and the fear built up again.

“What do you want Nishimura?” His voice was deeper than usual and laced with anger and annoyance. The two boys across from you kept up on their strides to approach you, stopping a few car lengths away.

One of the boys, still wearing his football gear but loosely holding his helmet down by his side, smiled and held a hand out in mock surrender. “Since when are we so hostile Jakey? Don’t be so formal.”

“Don’t ask stupid questions then.” The tone of Sunoo’s voice was one you had heard before, when he scolded Jungwon or complained about the noise of you all, but the intensity was completely new. He lacked all the affection that normally followed.

Your eyes turned to the boy who hadn’t spoken yet, he lacked the cocky smile that the Nishimura boy was sporting but he held your gaze tightly and cocked his head to the side.

“We can’t ask how your night was?” Nishimura was speaking again but you kept your gaze on the other boy, a silent staring contest. “Or who your new friend is?”

At the mention of you, you broke your gaze on the other boy and looked towards the one speaking. He was watching you with amusement and slight curiosity but there was something else behind the surface emotions and you once again heard your mothers voice.

This boy was absolutely no good.

“It’s none of your business.” You barely registered that you had spoken, the anger in your voice unfamiliar even to you but you had judged his character and your mind was made up. You felt Jake’s hand squeeze your arm but you weren’t sure if it was in support or warning.

“She speaks.” You were slightly surprised when the other silent boy spoke, head whipping to look at him. He was leaning on his side against the car near him and keeping his stare on you still.

“What are you guys doing?” A third unfamiliar voice was chiming in now and you were reminded of the first day you had met the boys next to you, although the vibe of the situations were complete opposite’s.

Nishimura turned his head to look behind him but the other boy kept his eyes on your frame, causing you to shuffle in discomfort. He seemed to know who was approaching without looking.

“Just catching up with some old friends.” Nishimura kissed his teeth and shook his head like he was disappointed in the outcome of the situation. “Shame they’re not up for conversation.”

When the third unknown boy finally caught up to you, the light from the stadium bouncing off the water to highlight his face, you were taken back slightly to see the boy you had bumped into earlier.

He seemed just as surprised, quickly masking it however. He slowed his pace as he stood in between the other two boys, analyzing the situation that was unfolding.

“Niki.” He was speaking, his voice low and almost commanding. You watched as Nishimura (Niki rather) slowly lost his amused grin and glanced at the boy next to him, waiting for his next words. “Don’t cause unnecessary issues.”

A scoff caused your attention to go back to the boy leaning against the car and you heard Jungwon sigh from behind you, obviously familiar with said boys antics somehow.

“Whats the issue? Because they’re Jay’s friends we can’t talk to them?” You didn’t miss the way he spat your friends name, like it pissed him off just to say it and you frowned.

Weren’t they on the same football team? Why did they seem so upset at your friends, and you just by association.

“Is that what we’re doing?” Sunoo was laughing behind you but it was dry and humorless. “Yeah some of us are talking.”

The sarcasm seemed to upset the third boy more and he pushed off the car, taking a few steps in your direction but stopping once the boy from the bleachers held a hand out against his chest.

He turned towards his friend and glared, shoving his hand away from him but not taking another move to approach you.

From your left, a car alarm chirped and you jumped slightly, bumping into Jake who hadn’t let go of your arm yet. All of you, including the boys you didn’t know, looked towards the noise and you felt both relieved and scared to see Jay standing by the car with the keys in his hand.

You waited for a moment to see what would happen again. If the boys would make a slick comment, if Jay would explain what was happening or laugh and say it was some prank. Maybe a fight would even break out considering all the tension.

However, in true Jay fashion, he didn’t spare a glance at the three boys in the distance. He simply nodded his head towards your group and unlocked the car. “Let’s go.”

——

“Okay are you going to keep sighing or just ask me.”

You felt bad for disturbing Sunoo on his break but you couldn’t help your overflowing curiosity about the other night. After a silent and tense ride home, nobody had spoken about the situation.

When you showed up to movie night the next day you were expecting some sort of conversation or maybe even attitude between the boys but they carried on like nothing had happened, like you hadn’t almost had a twilight style battle in the parking lot.

“Will you tell me if I ask?” You turned your head slightly and fiddled with your straw in your empty coffee cup.

He shrugged and sucked in a tight sounding breath. “Depends what you ask I guess… it’s not all my business to tell.”

You nodded and contemplated for a moment. Despite your dying need to know and understand the dynamics of what had happened, you had no interest in prying or sticking your nose where it didn’t belong. Especially since 1/3 of the boys you’d encounter had 100% failed the ‘type of person’ test.

“Can you tell me who they were at least?” Your voice was soft and you watched him intensely. Your mouth turned down slightly and you shifted in your seat. “I don’t know… they seemed mad, should I be worried.”

“They’re harmless.” His words tumbled out quickly, almost like he hadn’t meant to even say it. He seemed surprised at himself for coming to their defense so easily. “We all use to be friends… kind of. The one by the car was Heeseung, then Niki, and then Sunghoon.”

You mouthed their names and nodded along to what he was saying, pausing and waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t you felt more confused than you did before.

“Why did you talk to Sunghoon like you didn’t know him then. On the bleachers.”

He looked embarrassed slightly and you were becoming desperate to understand, but you were realizing you weren’t getting all the answers anytime soon.

“I don’t know him. He moved here right around the time we…. We stopped being friends.” He seemed like he was going in another direction but caught himself mid sentence. You felt bad seeing the dark expression on his normally cherry face.

“Just know they won’t hurt you.” He assured and you felt better hearing the genuine tone in his voice, he placed a hand overtop yours and squeezed it softly. “They normally don’t even talk to us.”

You were furrowing your eyebrows at that, opening your mouth to ask him what was different about the other night then for them to break a silent agreement, but you were cut off by the sound of the doors chime and Jake’s loud laugh.

You and Sunoo turned your heads towards the door to see your three friends pushing through it, seemingly racing for who gets to the table first. You felt guilt rise up at the awkward air between you and Sunoo and quickly tried your best to smile at the incoming trio.

Jungwon and Jake didn’t seem to notice the tense situation, clobbering into seats and urging Sunoo to go back to work. However it only took a brief glance at Jay to confirm he knew what you were talking about.

He sat in the chair closest to you and you held back a frown as he placed his arm on the back of your seat.

“I saw you talking to Sunghoon.”

The cafe suddenly seemed to fall silent and your mouth dropped open, struggling to find any words at his sudden accusation. You heard a chair creak like somebody was shifting uncomfortably.

“Jay…” Jungwon was awkwardly starting, nervously attempting to defuse the conversation that hadn’t even begun yet.

“They were already talking about it.” Jay cut him off, not sparing him a glance and keeping his eyes on yours. You were reminded of the boy from last night, Heeseung. Except Jay’s eyes lacked all anger or upset.

You felt slightly reassured at the soft look on his face, but also hurt that he would put you on the spot infront of the others considering his unwillingness to talk about it beforehand.

“He sat next to me. It was totally random I think.” You finally offered and he seemed taken back by this information.

“I didn’t even see him man.” Jake was slowly saying, approaching the situation like it was a live bomb. You were starting to think it might be.

“You don’t think that’s weird?” Jay finally removed his gaze from you and you took a deep breath, happy he was facing away now. “Has he ever come to one of the games before… ever sat on the stands like he gave a fuck what was happening on the field.”

Jungwon was sighing and sitting back in his chair. Out of all of them, he seemed the least hostile about the situation. If anything you were thinking he was more torn about what to do or what to say.

You thought back on the way Heeseung had spat the boy across from you’s name. There was no room for misinterpretation, something had happened there and he was definitely not forgiving in the slightest.

It confused you further that they were talking about the boy in the stands. Sunghoon had seemed like he was slightly agitated at his friends for approaching you the way they did. Almost having an authoritative energy towards Niki and reeling him back.

Why did his presence seem to upset Jay the most…. He had seemed nice enough on the stands and that was when he was given a perfectly good reason to cause a scene.

“What are you implying.” Jungwon voiced one of the questions you had but his tone was bitter and he let out a dry laugh. “That he purposely sought her out just to get under your skin. How would he even know we’d be there with her.”

“Let’s maybe not talk about her like she’s not right here.” You hissed and leaned back in your chair. The dismissal of your rightful curiosity and talking around you was getting to you.

Jake was frowning fully now and leaned over to pat you on the knee, keeping his hand there when he noticed your leg shaking in irritation.

“I’m sorry.” Jungwon sighed and you nodded at him, signaling it was okay. “It’s a touchy topic.”

“Really I didn’t notice.” Your tone was sarcastic and he smiled slightly. “Can you just tell me if I’m in danger or something?”

Jake nearly laughed at that and Jungwon started to shake his head quickly.

“No way dude, they’re completely harmless.” Jake assured, using the same word Sunoo had earlier. You frowned and looked at Jay who didn’t confirm or deny.

“We mean it Y/N.” Jungwon urged. “The worst thing Heeseung probably would do is steal your hoodie or something.”

You felt more confused hearing them speak so casually about the same boys they were spitting venom at the other night. The look on Jay’s face was filling in the blanks for you on who the issue had been between.

There clearly had been a moment when sides were picked and a line was drawn between them all for whatever reason. You didn’t sense any anger between the others individually, maybe secondhand in defense of Jay.

You decided that for now, you’d leave it where it was.

——

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Your foot was stinging from where you had kicked the vending machine seconds prior, after it had successfully stolen three dollars from you.

You placed your bag down on the ground, wrapping both hands around the large machine and shaking it as you rocked your frame back and forth. It rattled and buzzed, but no can fell from inside the stupid machine.

“What a thief you are.” You gave the thing a large shove and lept back when it teetered back ominously in your direction.

“I think you pissed it off.” You truly jumped now at the sudden appearance of a real voice, for a moment thinking the machine was responding to your insults. You whipped around to see Sunghoon, leaning against the brick wall.

You scanned his figure quickly, taking note of a sports jersey underneath his large leather jacket. Confusion wracked through you but you quickly looked away from him and frowned.

“I don’t think I’m supposed to talk to you.” You mumbled, squatting down and attempting to peer inside the machine. You sighed and considered sticking your hand up inside of it to retrieve the can yourself.

“Don’t do that.” Sunghoon had seemingly read your mind, you heard his jacket rustle and scrape against the rough brick. “Aren’t allowed huh?”

You felt anger surge through you at the smug tone in his voice and shook your head, not standing or facing him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“What I meant to say was that I don’t want to talk to a dickhead who upset my friends.”

He was silent behind you after your outburst and you felt fearful of his reaction for a moment, regretting not biting your tongue. Eventually he let out a hum of agreement.

“Which one are you dating by the way?” His question surprised you and you stood up quickly and turned to face him, a glare shooting from you.

“What the hell are you talking about?” You spat and tugged down your coat that had ridden up from your crouched position.

“I thought it was Jake for the way he practically turned into a feral dog in the parking lot protecting you.” As he kept talking you realized you had somehow managed to misjudge somebody’s character for potentially the first time ever. “But then I saw Sunoo holding your hand at the cafe.”

This threw you off guard. “You were spying on us?” You took a step away from him back towards the vending machine.

He watched you for a long beat of silence, an eyebrow raised like he was trying to see if you were serious. The word “harmless” was playing on a mantra in your head.

He sure didn’t look harmless, face slightly hidden behind the shadow of the machines. He was a lot bigger than you and his bleached hair made his eyebrows look ten times angrier than they possibly were. It didn’t help that he seemed slightly amused by your fearful demeanor.

“He works at the most popular cafe on campus.” He offered an explanation to you and you felt slightly dumb for not putting that together, but you were still on guard. “I just happened to pass by.”

You scoffed and bent down to pick up your stuff you had abandoned in your fight against the money stealing machine. “Well it’s none of your business, but I’m not dating any of them.”

His stoic demeanor seemed to falter for a split second before he stiffened his features again. You wondered why he seemed confused by that, if it was potentially rare for new friends to be brought into the existing group.

He took a few steps towards you and you locked up in fear, watching him intensely as he pushed off the brick wall. You kept your gaze tracked on him as he approached the vending machine, smacking it on it’s side.

You ignored the smile he shot your way as you heard the can thunk.

——

It was driving you a bit crazy, occupying your mind even when you were sat in class and meant to be listening to the important lecture your professor was giving.

You were blaming it on nothing but natural human curiosity. As far as you were concerned it had absolutely nothing to do with the way Sunghoon looked leaning against a brick wall or the fact you couldn’t get a read on him to save your life.

The mini version of your mom that tends to follow you around also seemed to be at a loss, offering you a shrug and half smile anytime you passed him on campus, which was an increasing amount you should mention.

At first you thought he might actually be spying on you like you had assumed a few days ago. He was turning up in classes you’d never seen him in before, he was sat lounging on tables in the square despite the cold bite to the weather, and he even had come into the cafe once or twice.

And that brought you to your current situation. You were sitting in your usual corner of the small building, but instead of your typical relaxed demeanor in your favorite place, your arms were crossed and your brows were furrowed.

Sunghoon was sat a few tables away from you, drinking from a straw and pretending like he didn’t feel your daggers in the side of his head. You didn’t miss the quirk of his lip every once in a while.

Even Sunoo placing a drink down infront of you didn’t break you from your one sided staring contest. He was invading your happiest place now and your patience for your new shadow was wearing thin.

A soft sigh from beside you made your frown deepen, you shifted your gaze up to Sunoo’s face as he watched you with exhaustion.

“Either talk to eachother or you’re both banned.”

Sunghoon seemed just as surprised as you at being directly addressed but he quickly masked it into an expression of indifference, the dip in your brows increased.

You didn’t say anything, looking down at your hands and fiddling with the coffee cups sleeve. Sunoo groaned but left you be, swiftly turning on his heel and going back to the other side of the shop.

A few moments of silence passed before your head the metal legs of the chair across from you squealing against the floor. You looked up through your eyelashes to watch Sunghoon swing his leg over the chair and sit widespread onto it.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” You hiss out, your leg starting to bounce in irritation and anxiety. He didn’t seem bothered by your tone, only lifting his shoulders in a loose shrug.

More silence passed between the two of you and you felt thrown off at the fact he hadn’t tried to start a conversation or make a smart remark back to you. Despite your threat of silence, you felt antsy at the lack of talking.

“Why are you following me?”

He let out a laugh before the final syllable even fell from your lips and quirked in an eyebrow in your direction, annoyingly calm and smug. “Why would I be following you?”

“You’re in my lectures.” You rushed out, not deterred by his fake casualness. “And why are you even here right now.”

He lifted his half empty coffee cup, shaking it around as a way to signal his reason for coming. “I’m in your class, not my choice.”

You were shaking your head now, leaning forward so your elbows rested against the cold table. He studied your expression as you got closer, not moving from his relaxed way of sitting.

“What’s the name of the teacher?”

Your lips curled into a smirk as he lost his facade again, this time it was prolonged and unmistakable. His eyes widened and his mouth formed an ‘O’, clearly not expecting you to question something that seemed simple enough.

You waited for him to get ahold of himself, snap back into his usual character and quirk back at you for noticing his presence in the first place. Instead he remained silent, watching you intensely with a weird expression.

He took one long final drink of his coffee and then stood up, leaving you in the shop with his empty cup.

——

It’d been a week since your strange encounter with Sunghoon, which meant it had also been a week since you’d seen the boy at all.

A large part of you felt extremely guilty, plagued with the thought that your questioning had caused him to disappear again, missing classes that he WAS apparently in. (You checked the attendance sheet.)

You were sat alone in the square, criss cross on a seat at one of the tables and laying your head down on your arms. You felt tired and the thought of hanging with your friends sounded draining for some reason.

The cold fall air was helping you stay grounded and you took low and deep breaths, enjoying the silence.

“Waiting for somebody?”

The universe must hate you. You froze mid breath and squeezed your eyes shut, willing all patience left inside you to come to the surface and help you appropriately deal with this situation. It would need a great amount of delicacy, considering the devil himself had spoken.

You opened your eyes slowly and titled your head to lock your gaze with a familiar pair, although the scenario you were in now was completely foreign.

Heeseung was sitting across from you, leaning forward on his elbows and watching your reaction to his presence. Unlike Sunghoon, your annoyance didn’t seem to amuse him. If anything, he seemed angry at you.

“Who would I be waiting for?“ You challenged causally back to him despite knowing exactly what he was implying.

You watched him closely, his jaw ticking as he tongued at his cheek in anger. You weren’t quite sure why he was talking to you and even less sure where this was heading.

“He told me to tell you he’d be back soon.” Frustration was coating his words as he recited them like he was being held at gunpoint. “He had shit to take care of.”

Shoulders lifting in a shrug, you uncrossed your legs and planted your feet firmly on the ground. “Why would I care?”

He gave you a look that implied he thought you were stupid but you were genuinely baffled that Sunghoon would think to tell you about his whereabouts. Did he somehow know you were overthinking his absence or was he just making sure he wasn’t leaving your mind despite being out of sight.

You and Heeseung fell into a weirdly comfortable silence, you continued to take your deep breaths and he was finally not staring you down, opting instead to look around at the changing leaves.

“Why do you not like me?” You cursed yourself and the lack of impulse control you possessed for interrupting the brief moment of peace, but he didn’t seem too angered.

“Do I seem like I like people much?” He wasn’t teasing or being accusatory, a genuine question in his guarded voice.

Shrugging softly you picked at your sleeves loose thread. “Sunoo said you’re harmless.”

He frozen slightly as the boys name fell from your lips, watching you with a curious expression. “What else did he say?”

“Jungwon implied you’re a hoodie thief.” You tried to keep your voice steady and nonchalant but when he let a small scoff escape him, your lips quirked in a half smile.

He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, you wondered if he was lost in nostalgia and thinking back on whatever memories he had made with your friends or if he just wasn’t sure how to respond to your banter.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He finally spoke again and you raised an eyebrow at him. “The other night, I mean.”

“I was more worried about your little side kick.” You tried to keep your tone light and jokey but he seemed to somehow sense the truth behind your words, guilt flashing over his features.

“He’s a good kid.” His voice was soft but urgent like he wanted you to believe what he was saying. “He took what happened really hard, he wasn’t like that at all before.”

For a second you considered playing along, baiting Heeseung into telling you details of the story that he seemed to think you already knew. This could potentially be your only chance at finding out what had occurred between the boys.

“It’s none of my business what happened.” You said instead, shaking your head and leaning on your elbows in similar fashion to him. “Is it really just something set in stone though?”

He sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. For a moment you remembered back to when you’d first met him, to the way he swatted Sunghoon’s hand off his chest.

He didn’t seem to hold the same respect for the other boy that Niki did, if anything, some of the anger in his gaze seemed directed at Sunghoon too, not just Jay. You were curious why he ended up on the side he did.

“I’ll get back to you on that.“

——

Considering how the last time you’d been in this scenery ended , you weren’t feeling the slight bit optimistic about how the night was going to play out.

You were squished in between Jake and Jungwon, a coat and scarf doing it’s best to warm you up although proving no match to the bitter cold night air. It was an understatement to say you were questioning the reasoning behind the months football was active.

Jay had actually requested you don’t attend this game, groaning and shaking off Jake as he hugged the former and plead for permission to come.

And here you were, shaking and already starting to sniffle, but you couldn’t help the adrenaline that pumped through you at the sound of the buzzing crowd and loud speakers.

The stands almost seemed blood thirsty, you felt anticipation and worry at the eerie undertone of their chants and yells. You decided you were just being paranoid, the game hadn’t even started yet.

When Jay ran out onto the field, recognizable to you despite being in a line of other boys in similar gear, you wasted no time, following Jake’s lead instinctively this time.

Your friend didn’t look in your direction but you watched him shake his head, a smile on his face beneath the slight embarrassment. You laughed as Jake flew back dramatically in his seat, yelling about his idol noticing him.

The crowd was vibrating as the game started, conversations flowing and passing by in a blur. Your cheers melted into your shrieks of laughter when Sunoo threw water in your direction, melting into groans of disappointment at a bad play for your team.

You felt drunk on social activity and everybody around you seemed just as amped up, worries about the high tension snapping escaped you and you finally leaned into the fan culture of the game.

And then a player, sporting colors unfamiliar to you, turned his shoulder completely and rammed into Jay’s chest.

The crowd took one collective breath, and then fell into complete silence. There was no mistaking the move as unintentional, the opposite player had completely changed his course of action and purposely struck your friend.

Jay was active and of course stronger than the average boy you knew, but his frame was still lean and more made for running long and fast rather than taking full frontal blows.

It seemed like hours passed in the seconds it took for him to hit the ground, shooting backwards a good few feet before smacking onto his back against the wet grass.

Before you even gave it a second thought, you were standing. Suddenly the cold and sticky air was nonexistent and you briefly registered the sounds of your friends stampeding behind you, down the bleachers and onto the asphalt.

You were stopped by the fence separating viewers and the field but now that you were closer, you could see firsthand the way Jay took staggered breaths and clutched where his chest would be beneath the gear.

It was a mess of refs and the standby emts, the coaches shouting at each other and pointing fingers close enough to touch the others face. You frantically looked around in an attempt to access the disorienting situation, looking for the guy who had hit Jay.

However, someone else had found him before you did.

The second you locked your eyes on the guys squared frame, he was hitting the ground with a shout and the crowd once again hit the play button on their screams and cheers.

This time their cheers were directed towards the boy who had tackled your school’s opponent, straddling his chest and shaking him aggressively. You watched in horror and shock as he ripped off the guys helmet and threw it carelessly away.

You barely registered a hand gripping your shoulder as you watched the boy on tops arm pull fully back before slamming forward into the others face, over and over again he put his full weight and muscle into assaulting his target.

Your body shook from the force of the hand on your shoulder and you glanced over to see Jungwon, his eyes wide in fear and shock. His gaze was also locked on the scene despite his attempt to get your attention away from it.

Before you could even begin to wonder why he seemed so fearful, a second player from your team was sprinting towards the fight and throwing off his helmet.

“No, no.” His voice was booming and desperate and you watched as Heeseung wrapped his arms under the boys armpits and attempted to rip him off of the other schools player, who had stopped moving at some point.

Heeseung was thrashing his body against the force of the others attempts to throw him off and when he finally managed to toss the boy backwards, you caught sight of who it was.

Niki was panting intensely, entire body shaking as he took a few steps back and forth, almost like a wild animal backed into a corner. His knuckles were bloodied and you weren’t sure if it was his or the other guys blood.

Heeseung was saying something to him that you couldn’t make out, freezing up when Niki’s glare turned towards you and the boys around you. The older boys hands were raised in an attempt to soothe his rage but Niki glared at him, sparing one last look towards Jay on the ground before storming off the field.

——

You’d practically gone numb from the cold by now, your thighs had lost feeling about an hour ago and the shaking of your hands felt natural.

You were sat on a lone bench outside of the schools medical office, only a few stragglers from the game remained and a couple of staff who were cleaning up spilled popcorn and discarded cups.

Jay had been rushed off the field and into the small building just a bit in the distance. It’s main use was for sports injuries apparently, you hadn’t even noticed it before tonight.

Luckily, the boy who had struck Jay wasn’t inside with him. He had been loaded up onto a gurney and rushed somewhere past the field where you presumed, more intense medical help awaited.

The scene was replaying in your mind on a loop and your stomach was tight with nausea at seeing such an intense display of violence.

Not to mention the glare that Niki had sent in your direction, almost like he faulted you for being the reason he had to hurt the boy. You weren’t sure if that was true because you didn’t understand the reasoning yourself.

You didn’t understand why the other player had struck Jay, if some game typical shit talk got out of hand or if they had a history. It only confused you further that Niki had been the one to come to your friends defense, possibly ending up in a lot of trouble.

No one chased after him when he stormed off and you weren’t sure if punishment would come later for him or if this was something both sides wanted to get ahead of.

Heeseung had looked around in a panic, eyes flickering to the stands like he was expecting to see somebody up there who could help, and then landing on where you stood by the fence. The desperation and upset in his eyes made you feel for him but they had quickly hardened and then he was off, similarly to his younger friend.

“You waited?” The sudden voice coming from infront of you caused you to jump in your seat and you trailed your gaze up to see a tired looking Jay standing and looking down at you.

His shoulders were low and you didn’t fail to notice the puffiness around his eye, or the slight shutters he took as he breathed in and out.

“Of course I waited.” You kept your voice calm and cautious, not sure if he was happy to see you or frustrated at the company. “Everybody did, but Sunoo made the others go home so they didn’t overwhelm you.”

He nodded along with you as you talked, an arm going up to push his hair back out of his forehead. It was a wasted effort considering his bangs fell back down on his face. He was staying close to where you sat, only a tilt away from your knees touching his shins.

“Are you okay?” You whispered when he didn’t reply to your rambles, you leaned your upper body forward slightly to try to look him in the eye. He nodded again, looking behind him out onto the field.

“Did you see where he went?” His voice was firm and you quickly understood that his vague question was referring to Niki and not the boy who had rammed into him.

You were standing now, slightly embarrassed by how close it put the two of you, nearly toe to toe. His breath was visible from the cold night air and you were worried if he turned his head back to look at you, your noses would touch. Despite your awkwardness, you reached down to grab his sleeve.

“Heeseung went with him.” You offered, instinctively giving him reassurance regarding the boy.

The unanswered questions you had still weren’t necessary for you to be able to tell that, at some point, Jay had cared deeply about the estranged boys. And clearly the feeling had been mutual.

Niki hadn’t hesitated in throwing his all into protecting Jay, risking everything in a moments notice. Whilst you were scared and slightly judgmental of the exact way he had handled it, you admired his loyalty.

Jay’s head turned back towards you and he looked down at where your red fingers were clutching his sleeve. You took a step back from him, still standing a little closer than you were used to, and he cleared his throat.

Before he could open his mouth to speak, somebody else was beating him to it and causing both of your heads to spin in it’s direction. This time you took a few steps away from Jay, completely giving yourself distance.

Sunghoon was standing slightly near the medical building and watching the two of you with a raised eyebrow. The sight of him after radio silence was intimidating enough and it didn’t help that he was stood with crossed arms and dark eyes. “Interrupting?”

Your eyebrows turned down in confusion before glancing towards your friend and piecing together what he was implying. You glared back at Sunghoon, not faltering when he held your gaze with his own annoyed one.

If you weren’t mistaken, he almost mirrored the expression of betrayal.

He quickly neutralized it however and uncrossed his arms, looking over towards Jay who had his shoulders squared now, awaiting whatever quick remarked was going to come his way.

“Are we going to go and find him, or what?”

—

The car had been quiet for the entirety of the ride so far, you were barely breathing to avoid adding any noise to the delicate air.

When Sunghoon had spoke back at the field you had expected Jay to dismiss him, to question why on earth he’d go with him anywhere. But he was always surprising you, only giving a firm nod and sending you a look that implied he wanted you to come with.

You were wondering if your sole purpose was to sit in the passenger seat of Sunghoon’s car so Jay didn’t have to. It was starting to feel like the worlds worst Uber and your head was hurting from the tension.

Still, it didn’t seem right to speak. As much as you wanted to ask Sunghoon about where he had been or ask Jay if he knew where you were heading right now, you figured you’d get answers shortly regardless.

Eventually you were pulling into a long driveway somewhere outside the city. When Sunghoon put the car into park, still no one spoke. Your body rocked with the car shifting and you leaned forward against your seatbelt to try and gauge your surroundings.

It was nearing 3am now and you were worried the bright lights pulsing into the windows would disturb the house owners, whoever they could be. Your worries were quickly silenced when a face appeared in the window, pulling back the half open curtain to glare outside in the cars direction.

It only surprised you slightly when you realized it was Heeseung, his eyes hardening when he saw Sunghoon’s car but his shoulders relaxed at the familiarity. Once again you questioned the tone of their friendship.

You felt eyes on the side of your head and slowly turned to look at Sunghoon who was watching you with a guarded expression. He raised an eyebrow and for once he seemed to lack his normal mocking look, a genuine question on his face.

Giving him a nod, you unbuckled your seatbelt and only faintly heard Jay do the same in the seats behind you. You waited until both of them were outside, doors shut, before following quickly on their heels.

Heeseung only looked taken back by Jay’s being there for a second and then he offered him a sharp nod and looked away. His gaze landed on you, standing hesitantly in the door way, and his tense glare softened slightly in confusion.

It was beginning to make you feel sick that nobody had spoke, the silence making your skin tingle and your head spin.

“Are you okay?” Your own voice surprised you, not even realizing you were starting to speak when you did, and by the way Sunghoon whipped around to look at you, you weren’t the only one.

The question was directed towards Heeseung, who was watching you intensely. His eyes were shooting down to your shaking hands and you hoped they weren’t still red from the cold. Although Heeseung had been the least physically impacted, you couldn’t shake the desperate look in his eye as he ripped Niki from the body.

“Are you?” You nearly bumped into Jay at the sudden appearance of the formerly mentioned boy and you clutched onto his arm instinctively.

Niki was rounding the corner, peering down at you from the kitchens doorway and you held his gaze for a moment before looking down at his hands and then back to him. He seemed upset at your fearful reaction to his voice and then a wave of understanding passed by and he offered you a small nod.

You felt bad for not answering him verbally but your gaze once again fell to his hands, eyeing the bloodied wrap around his knuckles. They were puffy and swollen and panic passed through you that he might need to go to the hospital.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” He seemed to read your mind and your eyes snapped back up to his. He was being uncharacteristically neutral but you had to imagine the nights events had drained the fight out of him. “You should see the other guy.”

The silence broke at his poorly timed joke. Heeseung let out a humorless scoff and walked off into the living room, aggressively flopping back against the couch chair. Sunghoon laughed for only a second before shaking his head and sighing.

Jay’s immediately took a step towards the boy and tilted his head, a dangerous anger radiating off him. “You think this is fucking funny Riki?“

The younger boy seemed to deflate for a moment, once again giving you a glimpse of that natural obedience he had shown Sunghoon in the parking lot. He quickly recalled who was speaking to him and his gaze turned into a glare, also taking a step forward.

“They could expel you.” Jay was spitting, close to the boys face. Your eyes shot over to Sunghoon who was watching the situation closely with crossed arms. “What if they charged you with assault?”

“He hit you first.” Niki was shaking his head in anger, seemingly genuinely distraught by Jay’s anger. You wondered if his loyalty made him so blind that he thought he was immune to consequences.

“It was too far.” Sunghoon was speaking now but his tone was far gentler than Jay’s. You started to feel bad for Niki considering the way all three of you were standing on one side and going against him. “You took it too far.”

Niki pushed off the wall he was near and paced a few feet in a circle around the living room area. You followed his figure with tightly locked eyes, not yet being able to predict the outcome of this talk.

“He was on the ground.” He turned back towards the three of you, frantically trying to justify what he did. The disappointment from the older boys seemed to hurt him deeply. “You didn’t even look like you were moving.”

The last sentence was directed towards Jay solely and you watched as his back deflated, locking eyes with the panicked boy infront of him. He took a few steps towards Niki at the same time Sunghoon took a large one back, closer to you.

You looked up at him in confusion to find him already staring down at you, an unreadable expression on his face. Your eyes floated back towards Jay and Niki but you were distracted again when you felt a hand trailing down your arm and eventually locking onto yours. This time you really kept your gaze on Sunghoon.

He started to drag you away from the scene despite your tug for release, it was no use and you couldn’t fight against your feet that started to follow him out of the room and down a hallway. For a moment you were confused where he was heading, watching as he opened the door furtherest away from the living room.

He stood in the doorway, waiting for you to enter the room first and you glared at him as you did, taking in the area. The door closed behind you and you turned your head to make sure he hadn’t locked you in alone.

Sunghoon was standing against the closed door, feet away from you and looking down at you with clouded amusement. Despite the tense and emotional night, he still seemed to find humor in your reactions.

“Why are we in here?” Your tone was low and annoyed, just above a whisper like you were worried about disturbing the moment down the hall.

“If you don’t already know what happened,” He started, titling his head while he looked from your feet back to your eyes. “This isn’t how he’d want you finding out.”

It aggravated you that his reasoning was so simple and so logical, and that he seemingly read your mind again about your knowledge on the situation. Also confusing you further that he’d protect Jay and offer him such privacy.

“Is he safe?” Your voice was shaking slightly and you felt embarrassed to show such vulnerability. You were simply exhausted both mentally from the laps it took to understand the smallest thing and from the late hours this night was bleeding into.

Sunghoon hardened and took a step towards you. You didn’t feel scared of him or his reaction towards you, letting him approach you and place a hand on your shoulder. He turned your body slowly and led you towards the bed in the room, letting you sit down.

“Niki would never hurt Jay.” He said firmly, assuring you as you sat and took a deep inhale. He stayed standing, looking down at you. His serious expression was overtaken by a look of amusement as he started to laugh.

You looked up at him with a deep frown, playing anxiously with your fingers and waiting for him to explain what he found so funny in this serious situation.

“It’s weird seeing you in my room.” He offered and looked behind you like he was accessing the picture. Your eyebrows shot up in confusion.

“You live here?” You weren’t sure why you had figured this was Heeseung’s house just because he seemed comfortable and had answered the door. “I thought this… that Heeseung did.”

“He does.” He explained and your confusion grew further. Why would they both live so far away from campus and considering how hostile all their interactions seemed, why would they be living together.

“Can I be honest?“ He raised an eyebrow at your tone and sat next to you on the bed, keeping a good distance between the two of you. “I thought he didn’t really like you.”

He let out a bark of a laugh which caught you off guard, never hearing such a genuine noise come from the boy.

“Heeseung doesn’t really like anybody.” He offered, shrugging and looking at you with a half smile. You thought back to the conversation you had with Heeseung in the square, the way he seemed filled with childlike curiosity regarding what Jungwon and Sunoo said about him.

“I know it’s not my business,” You started slowly, not quite sure how to word what you wanted to get across to him.

“It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it?” He filled in the blanks for you and you glanced over at him with a half smile, you imagined your eyes were heavy and tired as you nodded.

He looked especially handsome right now, you couldn’t help but note. You were so used to seeing him in passing, normally adorning a cocky grin or a tight demeanor. Yet he looked the best now, here in his own room, casually sitting on his bed with tired eyes.

Neither of you spoke as you studied his features and expression, him doing the same towards you. You were wondering what he was thinking and if he was coming to any sort of conclusions about you when a knock sounded on the door. It opened before Sunghoon had a chance to invite them in.

You watched as Jay’s head peered around the door and your cheeks flushed at the surprised look on his face upon seeing you and Sunghoon sitting near each other on his bed. Standing up swiftly, you played with your fingers in front of you and awkwardly watched your friend.

“I called Sunoo to come and take you home.” He explained his reasoning for coming to fetch you and you furrowed your brows slightly. You felt a weird heaviness settle in your stomach at the thought of leaving him here.

He seemed to sense your apprehension and took a step into the room. “Everything’s fine.” He offered but you weren’t sure if ‘fine’ meant for this specific situation or if they had patched things up in general. You doubted it was the latter considering how deep it seemed to run.

You glanced back at Sunghoon to find him uncharacteristically looking down at his lap, avoiding your gaze or maybe avoiding Jay. You thought about taking a step back towards him but opted instead for muttering a soft goodbye and following Jay out his door.

Jay’s hand fell onto your back as he guided you down the long hallway comfortably, obviously familiar with your current environment. When you passed back into the living you were surprised to see the other two boys still there.

Niki perked up when he saw you, looking like he had something planned to say to you, but he didn’t get a chance when sharp knocks echoed throughout the house.

Jay took a step forward to open the door, and you felt a wave of relief and comfort upon it revealing Sunoo. He looks mildly irritated and his hair was messy like he’d just left his apartment in a hurry but seeing him was enough to calm you down.

“We have an issue.” He sighed and whilst his tone lacked any real seriousness you still felt nervous at the thought of more conflict arising tonight. You quickly pieced together what he was saying however when you heard Jake’s loud yell from outside.

You stretched on your feet to look around Sunoo’s frame and smiled softly when you saw Jungwon and Jake clambering out of the car and quickly making their way over to the house.

They also seemed completely familiar with it, making their way down the path and up to the porch despite the darkness of the night concealing the steps. You glanced behind you into the living room to see Heeseung perking up at the loud voices.

He was still sitting but now his hands were tightly gripped on the arms of the furniture, sitting straight up and rigid. He was forcing down an intense swallow and you looked back at Sunoo and tilted your head.

Your pink hair friend simply sighed before taking a reluctant step into the house, successfully avoiding Jake by only a second before he barreled through the door. He had tripped over the mat that was sat outside the door and Jungwon was standing behind him, watching with an amused expression.

Sunoo, however, didn’t look pleased at all by the situation. If anything you’d think he was being forced at gun point to be inside of the house. You felt guilty at the exhausted look on all of their faces.

“They insisted.” He started to offer a casual explanation and you had no doubt in what he was saying. You briefly noted the sound of Sunghoon’s door closing as he approached the now crowded room.

Jake was pushing past you to smack into Jay, wrapping him in a tight hug and lifting him off the ground for a second before seemingly remembering the events that caused your current situation. “Oh my god, oh my god.”

You stumbled from his push, catching your footing to watch him repeat the familiar lines and check Jay for any sign of discomfort or pain. Jungwon approached from behind now and swiftly smacked the back of Jake’s head for his mistake.

A throat cleared from behind you, directly behind you, and you looked over your shoulder to meet the sight of Sunghoon’s chest. You must’ve stumbled in his direction in your haste away from tornado Jake. He was watching the trio from over your shoulder.

The creaking of the weight changing on the couch caught all of your attentions and seven pairs of eyes turned to look in Niki’s direction as he stood. The air was heavy and silent and you waited to see what he was going to say.

“Dude.” Jake’s voice from behind you was ringing out instead but you kept your eyes on Niki who looked surprised at being addressed so directly. “If I knew you could hit like that I would’ve stopped calling you short like 2 years ago.”

The silence rang out again as the joke landed, you winced slightly, not sure it would be reciprocated well.

However, loud laughter sounded from behind you and now you finally turned around, eyes wide as you watched Jay bend over slightly and squeeze his eyes shut as he laughed at Jake’s words.

You were baffled, wondering what conversation could’ve possibly happened in the few minutes you were gone that could drastically change his mood towards the situation.

Clearly you weren’t the only one judging by the way Heeseung was shooting up off the chair he was sat on and pushing past all of you, swiftly making his way out the front door and into the cold night without a word. You frowned deeply and watched as he went, not quite sure he’d want somebody following him.

A hand was pushing against your back softly and you looked back at Sunghoon for clarification. He was watching you with a soft expression and gave you another nudge towards the direction Heeseung had went, signaling for you to follow the boy.

You looked towards Sunoo who had come to pick you up but upon seeing him in low voiced conversation with Niki, you figured they wouldn’t mind waiting here for a bit.

Sucking in a deep breath, you followed Heeseung out the door.

——

Apparently you didn’t take into account the length of Heeseung’s leg, or his haste to get far away from the situation, because by the time you’d gotten outside he was nowhere to be seen.

Still you had a general direction to follow and the further you walked along the dark foggy street, the clearer his final destination was to you. A park was coming up in the distance and you faintly could make out a figure sitting still on one of the swings.

You weren’t exactly sure how to approach him, but eventually you took a deep breath and decided to just offer him silent company. If he found it in himself to want to talk, you’d be an open ear.

He didn’t say anything when you approached, and still when you sat in the swing next to him and rocked just a bit so you could sway.

You both sat and listened to the sounds of the chain creaking.

“I had a sister.” Eventually he spoke and you slowed you swing to a stop, looking over towards him and watching the side of his face as he talked. “Same age as me. As us, I guess.”

The tense in which he talked about his sister didn’t pass by you and your stomach felt heavy at the countless scenarios that could’ve happened. You took a baited breath and waited for him to continue.

“Growing up I never really liked having her around much I guess.“ His voice was deep and sad but there was a small amused smile on his face. “She was loud and talkative and I was worried my friends would like her better than me or something stupid like that.”

“Jay did I think.” You furrowed your brows as he talked and he spared a quick glance at you before starting to talk again. “Sophomore year he came to me and told me he was inlove with her. He’d said he didn’t know how it happened and he was sorry, but he was and he didn’t know what to do about it.”

It hadn’t dawned on you to ask any of the boys how long they’d known each other and you were slightly taken back by the fact Jay and Heeseung had so much history. Then you were further in your confusion at his second revelation.

“I was pissed, I mean who wouldn’t be right.” His voice was tighter now but he was shrugging to himself, like he was still trying to convince himself he did the right thing. “So I told her what he’d say. I just wanted her opinion on it, you know? Then she tells me she was in love with Sunghoon.”

Your heart fell deep in your stomach and you looked away from Heeseung once his face twisted in a grimace. Things were starting to make sense to you, atleast why Jay and Sunghoon didn’t get along but you felt like it was something deeper than just liking the same girl.

“We went off to college, Sunghoon didn’t go here with us at first. I guess he still couldn’t bring himself to face Jay even though it wasn’t really his fault. We still hung out sometimes, with Niki.”

It suddenly made sense why Sunoo and the other boys didn’t seem as familiar with Sunghoon as everybody else.

Without thinking you reached out a hand towards where Heeseung sat on his swing and watched as his eyes shot down to it and then back up to your face. He offered a sad tired smile but eventually took your hand in his and squeezed it as he continued.

“One night,” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Sunghoon comes banging on my door, Jay answers it and they both just look at eachother. Hoon is breathing all hard and can’t seem to get a word out and now I’m standing and we’re both trying to calm him down and it was just a mess.”

“He tells me….. well he says.. that he’d just seen my sister and she had told him that she was still inlove with him and had practically begged him to accept her after all these years.” He was pushing the story out now and you used your free hand to wipe your wet cheeks.

“And he didn’t.” He says it softly and drops his shoulders. You aren’t quite sure what the meaning of his words are but he delivers them like it’s the answer to all your questions. “And she couldn’t handle that I guess.”

You both fell silent for a few minutes and you squeezed his hand tightly so he would look in your direction. When you locked eyes with him you felt sick at the despair and guilt he seemed to hold.

“Heeseung.” You started and he squeezed his eyes shut tight like you’d hurt him. “That wasn’t your fault.”

He shook his head again and scoffed, taking his hand from yours and looking to his left out into the dark.

“Wasn’t it? Maybe if I let her hang out more, or given Jay the chance to confess without being so angry and protective, she could’ve fallen for him too.”

“She loved Sunghoon.” You spoke softly, not quite sure you were allowed to give your opinion on such a delicate subject.

He looked back at you and held your gaze. Eventually he gave you one single nod and chewed on his lip, eyes heavy and wet.

When he stood from his swing and pulled you up into a hug, you final took a deep breath and wrapped tightly around him. Neither of you spoke once you broke apart and started the walk back to the house but your mind was racing.

It was suddenly making sense to you for the most part. Why Sunghoon and Jay both seemed torn and betrayed at you being with either, the look Niki had given you almost like you’d brought up past emotions, even the fact all boys seemed shocked at your appearance in the friend group . It still confused you why Heeseung had chosen Sunghoon over Jay but you figured you could ask him at another time.

You looked over at Heeseung when you rounded the street back towards his house and you were remembering his unsupported anger towards you when you first met.

Maybe you had reminded him of his sister, down to the similarities of age and your friend circle. You no longer felt angry at him for the way he scared you or tried to intimidate you.

——

Days were passing by quickly after that long cold night and you were focusing back in on your studies and daily life. It was getting colder and colder each day and you felt the world around you preparing to slow down for the winter.

You’d still been seeing the boys on occasion, even meeting in new pairs and groups with familiar faces in different settings. It was interesting to watch things settle back into an old rhythm you hadn’t been around to witness the first time.

Niki and Jungwon arguing over video games and who’s turn is when, Heeseung sitting at the counter while Sunoo completes orders and sometimes Jay would be with him too although they’d keep one seat empty between them.

It was an early morning now and you were sat watching one of the boys final practices before the football season ended. You weren’t sure when it was added to your routine or when you started to find comfort in it but watching them play off of each other was something you enjoyed a lot lately.

Today you were accompanied by Jake who was uncharacteristically silent as he watched them throw the ball back and forth.

You were studying the side of his face for a bit, watching the way he chewed on his lip and fidgeted slightly in his seat. He seemed to be locked in thought and far away.

He must’ve felt your gaze on him because he nervously glanced at you and then away again, scratching his neck when you didn’t look away at first. “Sorry.” He murmured and you cocked your head.

“I’m just thinking about how weird it is we all are friends again.” He shrugged and you sighed softly.

“A good weird though, right?” He nodded in confirmation at your words but he still looked a bit saddened. You figured he must be worried it wouldn’t last long, another problem arising and hurting everybody for the second time.

You scooted closer to him on the bleachers and wrapped your arms around one of his, hugging it towards you and sitting flush against his side. “Don’t think about it too much. It’s good right now and that’s what matters.”

He glanced down at you glued to his side and offered a half smile, not quite reaching his eyes like it normally did. But you were slightly relieved to see him nod in understanding and pat your head with his free hand.

You both sat like that for a while, watching the practice continue on, until another person was stepping onto the bleachers and glancing up at you and Jake, clearly looking for you.

Peering down at Sunghoon you took a deep breath and you felt Jake laugh slightly against you at your obvious nerves. He squeezed your arm and gave you a slight nudge.

Reluctantly you stood from your spot and started to walk down the metal steps, meeting Sunghoon at the bottom of the stands and following him when he turned on his heel and headed towards the exit gate.

“I haven’t seen you much.” You were speaking to the back of his head, and it was true. You hadn’t seen him practically at all since everything happened, going back to only interacting in passings full of heavy stares and glances.

“I needed to figure some things out.” He turned to look at you and you studied his red nose and shifty eyes.

“Did you?”

He shrugged and looked at his foot that was twisting anxiously into the cement, his fidgeting was causing you to shift in your own place.

“Do you think I’m a monster.” He eventually asked with a curl of his lip and furrowed eyebrows, almost like he was afraid of your answer. Your features softened as you looked at him and shook your head. “You should.”

“Why would you say something like that?” You questioned and took a step towards him, a hand coming to rest on his arm. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He was looking down at you with a pained expression, glancing at your hand on him for just a moment before going back to your eyes. You hoped they showed how genuinely you meant what you were saying to him.

“Don’t disappear again.” You added earnestly, squeezing his arm to further prove your desperation. “I was just starting to not find you annoying.”

Thankfully your joke made him laugh, although it was a small chuckle you felt better at the slight smile on his face reappearing. Taking a deep breath, you decided to stomach your nerves and move towards him.

You pulled him into a tight hug, wrapping your arms around his middle and stuffing your face into his chest. It was silent for a few seconds as he froze up, but then you felt yourself similarly embraced by him.

“Is this a bad time to ask you to go to the final game with me.”

——

The final game had gone completely different than the previous ones and you felt like things were finally starting to settle down, both in real life and in your thoughts.

As you all sat decked out in school colors and merchandise, rocking into eachother and singing the team anthem and nearly filling up a whole row of bleachers with your friends, you could see your mom one last time. She was giving you a big thumbs up and those soft teary eyes she’d get whenever you made her proud.

The same eyes you had as you all ran down to the field upon a victory goal, pushing past the gates and tackling Jay, Niki and Heeseung in hugs and back pats that sent them flying in multiple directions with a smile on their flushed faces.

A smile that stayed on everyone’s face through Christmas, a day you all spent crammed in Sunoo’s living room as you watched Niki open gifts from the rest of you.

When you had heard that his family was in Japan and that’s why he was so close to the older boys, you and the others immediately called home and explained why you needed to stay behind for the holidays.

And the smiles stayed even when Sunghoon found you crying on New Years, outside on the fire escape with red cheeks from the cold and a sniffly nose.

“What happened?” He rushed out as he swung his leg through the open window and joined you outside on the icy metal. “You disappeared.”

The more time you spent with your friends, the more you saw the boy infront of you as far more than that. You’d gone out dozens of times, just the two of you, but it hadn’t advanced further than soft glances and touching hands on accident.

“I was so worried for the holidays.” You sobbed out, embarrassment escaping you due to the few drinks you’d had at the New Years gathering. Vaguely you could hear Jake announcing the minutes left. “I wasn’t sure what to do after my mom passed.”

Sunghoon watched you with a gentle gaze but didn’t say anything. You hadn’t told them about your family much, always changing the subject or giving vague answers. Truthfully you had been dreading the cold air, knowing eventually the day would come where you wouldn’t get to fly home for Christmas.

You constantly were paying extra attention to the weather, feeling sadder every time your nose started to run or you needed to put on an extra layer.

Sunghoon crouched down next to you, falling back onto his butt and hissing at the feeling of the wet and cold steps. Still he pulled you closer to his side and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“I know we aren’t her.” He started and you looked at him, comforted by how close your faces were. “But you don’t need to go anywhere to be with family anymore.”

You didn’t need to ask him to clarify, knowing exactly what he meant when the cheers of the countdown started from inside. You glanced back through the window to see all your friends huddled together and starting to count.

Jungwon was looking around the room, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry and you realized he must be looking for you, not wanting you to miss the ball drop.

Sunghoon squeezed your shoulders and helped pull you up from the ground, steadying you as you stood and guiding you back inside through the window.

He kept close to you as you approached your friends and you smiled despite your grief and teary eyes when your friends cheered at the sight of you, swiftly pulling you into the huddle and jumping slightly together.

It was messy and loud, knees knocking and multiple near accidents but you laughed freely as you all hit one, a chorus of happy New Years and well wishes following.

You registered Sunghoon standing behind you, pushed flush against your back in his attempt to join the huddle and you spun around in your spot so you were back to facing him. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He laughed as he spoke at your sudden greeting, smiling down at you with fondness. “Happy new year.”

You nodded at him in agreement, watching his face for a moment. He raised an eyebrow as you studied his features and leaned towards you a bit almost instinctively.

“Yeah.. it will be.” Before he could ask you what you meant — and before you could lose the small amount of courage the look in his eyes gave you, you pulled him down to you and into a kiss. Sunghoon hesitates for a moment before kissing you back, and you smile against his lips as you feel his arms slowly make their way around your waist.

Pulling away after a couple moments, Sunghoon looks down at you, the fondness in his eyes replaced with a look of love. Hearing the whoops and hollers from the boys around you, your courage crumbles as you bury your face in his chest.

Laughter erupts through the group as Jake mutters “It's about time...” Pulling away slightly from your embrace with Sunghoon, you look at your friend group to see them all looking at you both with bright smiles, and you laugh as Jake playfully rolls his eyes.

"You're just jealous since you’re still single, Sim." Jay nudges Jake with his shoulder as more laughter erupts through the group. Sunghoon rests his head against yours, his arms still loosely wrapped around you as you watch the antics return, and you swear you can feel your mom pat you on the shoulder, her voice ringing out in your head with an “I’m so proud of you.”

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ashthemadwriter-archived · 2 years ago

Note

Hellooo can I request Dazai, Fyodor and Ranpo with a platonic, female reader that's younger and they giver her a headpat? Like she comes back from a mission and they're proud of her and they headpat her. And she goes 0-0? Ty, and bonne journee!

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairings: Dazai, Fyodor, Ranpo X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Humour

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.8 K in total

A/n: Im more into romantic stuff but hears for you :D

Part 2 with Chuuya and Akutagawa

↬Dazai

◆Ok I love this guy (not in a platonic way lmao)

◆I think that he would be a sweet person toward you.

◆I mean, you look so innocent that he just cant bring himself to tease you T^T

◆And since he has Atsushi, he wont ask you to do his work lol

◆Anyway… you got paired up with Atsushi to do a really hard mission. Since you were a rookie at the agency and didn't really expect this much danger, you were a bit careless and although you accomplished the mission, Atsushi got shot while protecting you.

◆You immediately took him back to the infirmary room and waited outside.

"Hes gonna be ok, you know?" Dazai smiled while witnessing how upset and worried you were. "Hes been through worse, and when I say worse, I definitely mean it" "I know, but…" you mumbled, trying to fight the guilty feeling that was taking over you, but failed to do so. "I was just holding him back. He was better off without me. Im sure he could manage to do the mission all by himself and not get a single scratch. I was just a burden to him" He simply chuckled and let out a small sigh. "Stop overthinking it. Youre not a burden" "Yes I- " your words were immediately cut off when you felt his hand on your head, gently caressing your hair. The guilt you were feeling was immediately replaced with a warm, sweet sense, which made your head turn to your coworker and look at him with your mouth widened. The shock and surprise in your eyes made him chuckle one more time. "What?" "Are you flirting with me?" "Wha- Oh my god!" You turned your head at the opposite direction, just to hid your heated cheeks, as you heard him laughing even harder.

↬Fyodor

◆This guy gets his way out of manipulation all the time.

◆But the case is a bit different with you.

◆Youre actually nice to him without having other intentions, so hes interested in you (in his own way, cuz I cant see him in love tbh)

◆The only thing you want from him is to treat you the same as you treat him.

◆He somehow feels like youre a trustworthy person, and he doesn't how to even predict your actions since youre loyalty has no boundries. You were like a underling or a partner; you were more like… a friend.

◆I don't think youre ever gonna hear him say that though.

"So? How was the mission?" He asked, while standing near the chair you were sitting on, looking at the soda you were drinking. "Meh. I did everything you told me to" "And? " "And It all went exactly the way you planned, and don't act like youre not already aware of that" You took a big sip of your soda to wash awat the exhaust you were going through. This mission was a tricky one, and it needed a lot of effort and energy. Fyodor put a small smile on his face, As he slightly patted your head. "Good job, y/n" And that was when the drops of soda got shot out of your mouth.

↬Ranpo

◆This is literally my first time writing about him so sorry if its not good enough.

◆Ok so hes not one to be proud of others or at least to show it, so were not expecting him to do much here.

◆Hes always minding his own business, and by that I mean mostly his sweets, and sometimes the cases he to solves.

◆But he watches you trying t get close to him to be friends, even bring him homemade cookies in addition to that, hes a tiny, tiny bit touched.

◆You really liked and admired the detective, and he knew that. (I mean bruh! this is Adogawa Ranpo were talking about)

◆So he lets his guard down a bit. Maybe youre not that dull after all :)

"Phew! Finally I can have a rest" You sighed out of relief, sitting in front of Ranpo who was decorating his desk with his sweets. He gave you a small look before grabbing the pocky Packet. "Don't get your hopes up. Kunikida will make you fill another report in a few minutes" "What? But I just came back from a mission! I worked really hard! Don't I deserve a rest?" Your whiney tune made him look back at you, and examine the bruises on your arm that were the result of your hard work on the mission. He knew that working could be really exhausting, and he knew that you were serious about your occupation. Yeah, you did deserve a rest. You placed your head on the desk in front of you and closed your eyes to have a quick rest before starting to work again, when you sensed a hand, slowly patting your head. Your eyes immediately got wide open , and were pointed at the detective, who was looking at his candies while patting you. Ranpo. Adogawa. Was. Patting. You. "You did work hard. Well done" All of the exhaustness inside you faded away as you got excited and smiled at him. "Really?" "yeah" "So… Can I have a cookie?" "Know your place, y/n" "Tch, youre so mean"

Reblogs are appreciated :)

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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years ago

Text

Love Again | PJM (Twelve)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 15.6k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (????!!!!!????!!!!), soft, soft sex, mention of pot brownie, dirty talk, jimin says ‘little slut’ lol, lots of kissing, ew intimacy, creampie, mention of cum eating, implied oral (male rec.) everyone’s having sex dude, lots of drama, lots of unsaid feelings and everyone being an idiot!

Notes: sorry I took longer than usual! I hope you guys like this chapter:] thanks for being patient with me! I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Love hearing from you guys<3 Send an ask if you want to be added to a tag list or just want to chat:)

Previously on…in chapter 11 of Love again, Namjoon has offered you a relationship! You meet with Jin and Justine to learn more about Lucy’s past. Tension (not the bad kind) keeps rising with Jimin. You and Naomi meet with Lucy and learn the truth. Everyone’s busy for the weekend: Jeremy with dates, Naomi with friends, Hobi fake dating Dae for a work party but you and Jimin decide to eat a ‘special’ brownie and uh oh, you had sex.

Previous---Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This might be one of the more awkward outings you have been a part of in a while—or ever. The atmosphere feels a little bit tense, so many pairs of eyes roaming around, never meeting one another. Something is obviously going on between like, everyone. But the only person who seems to be free, lively and so freaking oblivious is Taehyung. Bless Taehyung and his inability to read the room right now as he drunkenly declares you should all take shots. Again.

“Taehyung, you’re already shit faced, dude.” You reach for your water, “You realize if you take another shot you are absolutely going to throw up?”

“Eh, let him.” Dae shrugs from beside you, “He stole my chips the trip here and ate them all so this is kind of his karma, I’d like to believe.”

“You want your brother to puke because he…ate your chips?” Hoseok raises a brow, “You truly are something.”

“That feels valid actually” You begin to agree, finally gulping back some of the water.

“Of course you would be the first to agree with that.” Hoseok shakes his head, “The women I surround myself with…”

“Oh?” Dae looks a bit blank as she glances at Hoseok. “Am I woman you surround yourself—"

“Oh come on!” Taehyung drags out his words with an adorable slur, “Jeremy? I know you won’t let me drink alone right?”

“I’ll take a shot if my brothers take a shot too.” Jeremy grins at Hoseok and Jimin. “Forget the girls we don’t need them to have a good time.”

“We’re literally right here?” Naomi grumbles on the other side of Dae. “We should have gotten our own table at this point.”

“Ever since their weird ass boys thing—”

“Weird?!” Taehyung scoffs, but his own grin starts to show itself. “You’re all just jealous.”

“Totally. That’s what it is.” You comment with a straight face, “Anyway—”

“Are you…Taehyung, by chance?” A feminine voice cuts in, you all look in Taehyung’s direction when you see a girl standing next to him with her hand on his shoulder. “You probably don’t remember me but I’m pretty sure we went to college together.”

“Aeri?” Taehyung tilts his head, “Like, the girl who hooked up with Jungkook one time in my apartment bathroom?”

“Oh!” The girl lights up, “So you do remember me!”

Well, that’s one way to remember someone, you think.

“Yeah!” Taehyung’s grin widens, “You look kind of different though?”

“I think my hair was dark and short when you last saw me.” Aeri returns his smile with her own, her hand finally leaving his shoulder. “Which was so many years ago.” She giggles, stumbling a little bit in her spot. She looks drunk too.

“No, that’s not it.” Taehyung waves her off, shaking his head slightly as he tries to think. “Oh! Last time I saw you was literally in the bathroom when you and Jungkook were…you know,” He winks now. “The thing that’s different is…clothes.” He says with a blank face while gesturing towards her and she widens her eyes before she laughs loudly.

“Oh yeah! You did walk in on us!”

“Does Taehyung just walk in on everyone having sex?” Hoseok laughs, shooting you a look when you glare at him. “I wonder if this chick stopped though unlike…” He trails off with a smirk, his hands motioning between you and Jimin. You want to kill him.

“So how have you been?” Aeri slurs a little as she chats with Taehyung, “Are you still living here?”

“Nah, nah, nah.” Taehyung glances at the rest of you, “Just visiting my friends!”

“Oh!” Aeri looks at you all now, smiling at everyone as she offers a greeting. “I know, I saw you from across the bar. You are like me!” She starts giggling cutely, hand back on his shoulder. “Fifth wheeling as the only single one in the group. That’s why I wanted to come say hi.”

“Only…single?” Taehyung asks, confusion growing as he eyes you all. “Oh.” He sings out, “No, no! We’re all single actually. Trust me, no one in this group is gettin’ any.” He starts chuckling to himself.

Aeri looks like the one who is confused now. “Really? Oh. I was so sure…” Her eyes find yours, “These two.” She points at you and at Jimin who sits across from you. “They’re a couple. And those two,” She points at Dae and Hoseok who sits across from her now. “They’re definitely a couple.” Now she points at Naomi and Jeremy, “And these two as well.”

“HA!” Naomi rolls her eyes, “Never in a fucking million years.”

“Yeah, that’s got to be the joke of the fucking century. Right, Naomi?” Jeremy spits back with a smile.

“I still don’t get what is up with them.” You say towards Hoseok and he nods. “But you’re wrong.” You say to Aeri before your eyes try to find Jimin’s but he avoids your gaze. Instead he reaches for his drink and takes a few sips, not even flinching as the alcohol runs down his throat, no doubt leaving a burn along the way.

“No, I’m not.” Aeri drunkenly laughs, “I’m never wrong about these things.”

“Trust me, no one is gettin’ any.” Taehyung snorts. “y/n over here basically has a whole ass boyfriend and isn’t even gettin’ any.”

Your insides start to twist at this mention but you try not to show it on your face.

Taehyung and Aeri are giggling when Taehyung lifts his drink and says, “Watch this! Hey everyone,” He looks at all of you with a confident smile. “Take a drink if you haven’t gotten laid in a while.” He wiggles his brows, even giving Aeri a cocky wink as he waits for you all to drink. But when Taehyung doesn’t see any hands reaching for drinks his cocky grin begins to falter. Aeri shrugs, her own cockiness showing now as she looks at him like it’s obvious.

“Uh…” Taehyung begins lowering his drink. “Okay….” He mumbles unsure, “Take a drink if you…have…? Like, have gotten laid recently…?”

Well, you and Jimin agreed you wouldn’t lie to anyone if the question was asked. And Taehyung kind of sort of has the exact question hanging in the air, waiting for an answer. You are the first to wrap your fingers around the glass that holds your mixed drink. You don’t look at anyone else as you bring it to your lips and take a sip. When you finally lift your eyes, they find Jimin who sits across from you and you see he is taking a sip of his drink as well. And then the dramatic ass gasp that leaves Taehyung’s lips can be heard and you glance around the table to see Hoseok and Dae have lifted their glasses as well as they drink back some of their alcohol…well, you knew about that already. But what surprises you is that Jeremy and Naomi are also sipping from their glasses.

“What?” Taehyung searches everyone’s eyes for answers. “You all…? Huh? Okay, okay.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes as he thinks for a moment. “How recent?” He looks at everyone again. No one says anything. “Okay…take a drink if it was like, a day ago.”

No one drinks and Taehyung sighs in relief but he notices everyone looks weird as hell so he continues. “Okay…take a drink if it was one week…?”

And then he dramatically gasps again as everyone awkwardly lifts their glasses, all eyes everywhere but each other. But then everyone does get a look at the other when too many pairs of eyes start widening. Taehyung points at his sister first, you are pointing at Naomi and Jeremy is pointing at Hoseok. Everyone’s looking real confused.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!!!” Taehyung stands from his bar stool now, “What the fuck does that mean?”

Yes, Taehyung, you think. What the fuck does it mean?

One week ago

The way Jimin’s lips rub against yours as his hips roll into you makes you feel the sort of intimacy that terrifies you but in this moment there is nothing scary…just you and Jimin and this dreamy connection that makes your body feel like it’s floating.

You want to blame the brownie for this feeling but that high has already began to fade…only Jimin in your system at this point. And he didn’t lie. He is fucking you exactly how he said he would…he is fucking you the way you agreed, the way you chanted ‘yes’ over and over before you two even left for your bedroom. His words to you, his horrible, tragic, beautiful, dangerous and exceptional words that he whispered towards you on your couch.

“You want to get fucked y/n? You want me to fuck you? Me, right? You want me to fuck you like you’re my little slut? Fucked like you never been fucked before? Maybe you need me to fuck you like I’ve always fucked you, huh? You need to get fucked like someone is so, so in love with you? That the kind of fucking you need, babe? Need me to fuck you as if I was so, so in love with you? You want to get fucked like that?”

You never said yes a million times as fast as that. And he didn’t lie…he is fucking you exactly like that. He said ‘as if I was’ but if you are honest…the way he is fucking you, you might believe it if he told you he was still in love with you.

That is a ridiculous thought, you know. But every time his length slides in and out of you, hips rolling and eyes staying on yours…you feel that euphoria of being fucked in a way that feels like it is love. He’s just that good, you think.

You’re both panting, lips connecting every few moments to kiss—kisses that are so slow and deep, tongues taking their time and your bottom lip getting pulled lightly between his teeth. Your fingers caress his cheeks and he leans his forehead against yours, soaking in every light touch your fingers give his skin—eyes closing in satisfaction because your touch is just pure magic.

“I’m…” Jimin pauses, groaning in your mouth as he speeds up, thrusting just a little harder. “I’m going to come soon, babe.”

“Yeah?” You moan when his thumb makes contact with your clit, he puts just the right amount of pressure, circling it expertly.

“Mhm.” He nips at your lip, “Where do…” He releases a long breath, hips slamming into you just a bit harder. “Where should I…fuck, y/n, where should I—”

“We both know.” You whine. His thumb circles your clit faster, you feel your body start to tense, back arching as you prepare for what is to come.

Jimin’s eyes roll to the back of his head at what you are insinuating, satisfied with your response but he still prolongs his orgasm to ask you again. “Where baby?”

“Jimin…” You mewl, your orgasm already on the brink of arrival…”Please.”

Before you and Jimin started to have sex again, he discarded the first condom…it was full of his cum already and was uncomfortable but you were quick to guide his member back to your hole that needed to be filled. He didn’t object at the idea of fucking you raw…

“You want me to fill you with my cum, hm?” He starts picking up his pace again, his face right over yours, noses brushing and lips rubbing against each other so messily. “You need that?”

“Jimin.” Your mouth hangs open, body tensing intensely as you feel this build up start to overwhelm you. “I’m going to…” You can’t even finish that sentence when his thumb works harder and his cock hits a certain spot inside you that feels almost heavenly.

“Come for me babe.” He groans again. “Come for me, come for me like you always have.”

His words and everything else are enough to make you feel the kind of warmth that a long, intense, drawn out orgasm could give. You walls start squeezing around him so tightly and he is losing his mind over you. You, how you feel, how you look, everything.

“I’m going to…” His strokes don’t stop, regardless that he is about to come…his lips part when short, rapid breaths escape him. The moans he starts letting out as his cum shoots from the head of his cock and into the deepest parts of your core are so sinful. He doesn’t still his hips, he keeps fucking you but much more slowly, he pushes through to keep your orgasms intense and long. You might even come again when he whimpers—yes, whimpers at the feeling of fucking his cum into you.

You’re both feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated but his hips rolls into you a few more times, his cries of pleasure keeping you from stopping him. One more pump, then another before Jimin is finally stilling himself. Quick breaths hitting your lips as your own chest heaves. Jimin’s thumb leaves you when he raises it to his lips and sucks on it before taking your face with his hand, cupping it gently and leaning in for more slow kisses.

You kiss him back, lips moving over his as your hand reaches between your bodies and you carefully help him pull his cock out of you. Moaning into each other’s mouths when he’s finally no longer inside you and with his lips still connected to yours, he rolls over so you are laying side by side, still making out.

The room is hot, bodies sweaty, your skin sticking to his so easily. You can’t even process how you definitely need to replace these sheets before bed because his lips are still on yours and they are so addicting. You’ve never felt more obsessed with a pair of lips than this moment. It’s almost as if neither of you are prepared for this moment to end—for this night to end. Almost like if you two never stop then you don’t have to ever face the reality…maybe tomorrow will never arrive.

The kisses are slow and lazy and it sucks when you two finally pull away, foreheads resting against each other, soft breaths mingling. Jimin eyes you carefully, tenderly and you gaze back, both of you trying to communicate without saying words.

But words need to be said.

“Wow.” Jimin sighs out, “That was…” His voice gets a little quieter before a small smile pulls at his lips. “You’re very amazing.”

You crack a smile, “How amazing?”

“Most amazing.” Jimin quietly chuckles, leans in again to peck your lips. “What we just did…what we shared with one another just now…that’s rare.” He tells you, voice soft and almost careful.

“Rare?” You ask and he only hums in response. You don’t pry for an explanation and he doesn’t give one. Because you both know what he means. What you two just shared…the closeness, the connection, the intimacy…that is rare.

You and Jimin clean up, change the sheets and put on some clothes to sleep. Even though you are both more sober now and you two have officially pulled away to do other things, the atmosphere in the room has not changed. The night is still this night. Tomorrow is not here yet and no thought comforts either of you more.

You settle into your bed, blanket pulled up to your nose when Jimin slides in the sheets to lay next to you. It’s almost automatic how you scoot closer to him and he’s already welcoming you to lay your head on his chest. His arm wraps over you, stroking your arm softly. It is automatic when you nuzzle your face into his bare chest, inhaling his scent and listening closely for his heartbeat.

There is no feeling quite like this. There might not even be a feeling that can top this. This is a feeling you want to drown in. This is a feeling you want to kill you. You’d be fine, dying in this feeling because it means it’s the last thing you ever felt and you will leave this life and enter the next one with this feeling. This fucking feeling.

Even still, you are careful. Even with this feeling… you are careful. Careful because you have to be. Careful because you won’t be dying in this feeling…you will wake up tomorrow and this feeling is not allowed. So many words that could be said…between you and Jimin, there are millions of words that could stroke this feeling into something even more. But that is dangerous. So, you are careful. And so is he.

Nothing is said for a long while…you think over an hour has passed by and you believe Jimin must be fast asleep. You on the other hand…you are witnessing the night end and tomorrow arriving. And because of a fact so simple as that…the thoughts of reality are starting to settle in your messy little mind.

You aren’t even sure what to make of this entire night. What could it even mean? If it even means anything at all. Exes fall into each other’s beds all the time! This is not some rare instance…this is not some crazy thing that never happens. You know that, you get that. Feeling familiar with someone can be so, so dangerous. You are learning that. But that doesn’t always mean something deep. You know that too, you get that too. This is probably—

“Can’t sleep?” Jimin’s raspy voice slightly startles you, “Sorry.” He chuckles quietly. “I can tell you’re still awake.” He tells you, taking a pause before continuing. “Are you overthinking everything like me?”

You let silence linger for a moment before snuggling closer to him, “You know,” You whisper out, trying to gather your thoughts. “I’m supposed to give Namjoon an answer about me and him…I should be thinking about that. I should be having a lot of thoughts about that. But I’m here having no thoughts about it because I think you fucked those thoughts out of my head.” You scoff quietly at yourself. “Instead I am thinking about how tonight you gave me the best orgasms I have ever had in my life.”

“In your life?” Jimin asks, trying to stop his lips from curving into some sort of satisfied smile.

“Yeah.” You hum, “I mean, don’t get me wrong…in the past you also gave me great orgasms but this was…I don’t know. I’m sure the last time we had sex I came hard too but this—”

“The last time…? The last time we had sex…?” Jimin’s soft voice is hushed. “y/n…do you not remember?”

“Remember what?”

“We didn’t come last time. The morning of my flight. We had sex but neither of us came.” He tells you, “We uh, we never got that far.”

“Oh.” You blink, “That sounds like it sucks, sorry. No wonder you cried.” You can’t help but chuckle and he shakes his head.

“No. It was amazing.” He tells you quickly, “It was emotional, yeah…but even though I didn’t finish…I had never felt more satisfied at that time in my life. I just wanted to be close to you, y/n. As close as physically and emotionally as possible.” He nuzzles his face into the top of your head. “I felt so connected to you…that even in those moments of pleasure, even without climaxing, I felt so fucking good. And maybe it was just me…”

“What?”

“I didn’t even feel like I needed to finish…just having that connection with you…I felt like I was at the edge already, the edge of the Earth. And I jumped. I jumped and I drowned in you. You drowned me, y/n. Drowned me in every bit of love your body and soul could give me. It was one of the most powerful things I’ve experienced and yeah, I cried.” He chuckles, “I cried because I knew I would never have that again.”

“Oh.”

“And when we decided to stop…and I left your body I don’t think I had ever felt more empty.”

You’re quiet. His words finding a spot in your mind, making themselves at home as you decide they are allowed to live there forever. You release a breath before finally deciding to respond. “Well,” You lift your head to look at him, the room just light enough from the almost rising sun that you two can lock eyes. He gazes at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something. “…I mean, technically wouldn’t it have been me who felt empty? You know,” you gesture towards your lady bits, “Since—”

Jimin snorts, laughing at your smart ass mouth and squeezing you to his body. “Yeah, yeah.”

Your face breaks into a small grin, “But uh, that was um, pretty.”

“Pretty?” Jimin quirks a brow. “What was?”

“Your words. Like poetry. Your words are pretty. Just like you.”

Jimin can’t help but lean more into the pillow and smile up at the ceiling now. “Pretty like the moon?”

“Like the moon.” You tell him, “But Jimin.” You glance over at the window, “The moon is no longer in the sky…and the sun is starting to take its place. A new day is arriving and…”

Jimin squeezes you even tighter towards him when he sighs out. “I know.” He whispers. “A new day means this day is over. And…”

“And the day that is over can’t bleed into tomorrow.” You finish for him. “You know?”

“I know.” Jimin sighs again, “But…can we pretend the sun doesn’t control our day? Just for now. Can we live in this night until we wake up and it is actually tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” You lay your head back down on his chest, “We can do that.”

It’s after 1pm when you and Jimin finally wake up. It’s not necessarily awkward but there is an understanding between you both…and understanding that last night’s events were exactly that—last night’s events—and nothing more. You have reasons and he has reasons and neither of you really speak on those reasons but you both know they’re there and you both have them and that has to be enough.

“Okay, I’ll get going.” Jimin starts gathering his things and makes his way towards your door to slide on his shoes. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” He smiles at you and his smile is making this weird, dangerous warmth start heating up your body. But you can’t show any sign that this heat is creeping up your neck, onto your cheeks and so on.

“Yeah. Get home safe.” You return his smile, a smile so calm and careful.

“I will.” Jimin nods at you, “See you.”

And he is opening the door, turning his head to steal one last glance at you before walking through and closing the door behind him.

Your eyes stay on your white wood door for a few seconds, your calm and careful smile still on your face when you finally release a long, long breath that you had been holding and your smile drops completely. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. That’s the only real words in your mind right now.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” And the only real words you’re even able to mutter at the moment. You blink repeatedly, eyes still on your door as the reality hits you hard. Oh fucking shit, you think. You finally turn towards the inside of your home and your legs are moving on their own as you start searching for your phone. You finally find the device stuck between the couch cushions and you are scrambling to unlock it and call the person you need to freaking call. Your one and only, your best friend.

You wait on the line as it rings and rings and finally Hoseok answers.

“Hello?”

“Hoseok!” You screech into the phone.

“Hi.” He sings, “Wait, hold on.” He tells you and you try to wait as patiently as possible. “Hey…Taehyung just got here. Me, him and Dae are going to grab some lunch before we get ready for Dae’s work party tonight. Can I call you later?”

“Oh my god.” You groan, “You being busy is ruining my life!”

“Dramatic as always. What’s up? What happened?”

“Nothing. Just call me later, okay? When do you get home?”

“Tomorrow afternoon!”

“Oh my god, just…” You groan again. “Whatever. Tell them I say hi. Have fun tonight, love you.”

“Will do. Love you with all my heart. See ya!” And then he’s quickly hanging up and leaving you to think about this all by yourself.

It’s almost noon on Sunday now and you aren’t sure if Hoseok is home yet but you need to talk to him. Even if he’s still driving and it’s just over the phone. You’re desperate at this point. You’re sitting at your kitchen island, phone in your hands as you click on the screen to call him. This dude answers on the first ring.

“Hoseok!—”

“—y/n!”

You both yell at the same time, and neither of you waste another second or even wait for the other to just respond before you’re both yelling again.

“Code Red!” You shout in unison.

“What?” You ask, puzzled. “You’re Code Red?”

“You’re Code Red?” He asks on the other line. “Why are you Code Red?”

“No, why are you Code Red?”

“Holy fuck, why are we both—”

“Come over dude. I just got home, this is an emergency!” Hoseok shouts, “Fucking Code Red bro.”

“Trust me, I know it’s a fucking emergency dude!”

“Hurry up.”

You and Hoseok sit at his dining room table, looking and feeling antsy as hell. Legs shaking up and down, throats feeling dry, eyes boring into the other.

“You go first.” You look at Hoseok anxiously and he shakes his head quickly and motions for you to go first. “Okay.” You nod, “Let’s just go at the same time. Let’s just say whatever it is.” Hoseok nods now too, agreeing right away with the plan. “Okay, count of three. One…two…THREE!”

“I had sex with—”

“I had sex with—” You both shout but stop as soon as you both realize what you guys are saying.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Your eyes go wide. “Who the hell did you have sex with?”

Hoseok gives you an unimpressed look, “Oh come on, y/n. Who the hell do you think it was?!”

“Fair. But what?! How!? How did that…? You guys fucked for real?! You and…Dae?!”

Hoseok shudders just at the mention of her name, “I don’t know how it happened!” He groans into his hands, “We just…I don’t know!” He yells out.

“Were you guys like, really drunk at the party?!”

“Holy fuck this just keeps getting worse.” Hoseok’s lips set into a line. “We were fucking sober.”

“Oh my god…” You can’t help but snort. “Come on Hobi…is this really such a surprise?”

“YES?” He looks at you incredulously. “She is my frenemy!”

“But you guys have fucked before!” “Because…because we had to!”

“…Had to?” You look at him with a straight face.

“Trust me, y/n. We had so much tension back then! After she beat me at the competition it only made sense that I fuck her?!?????”

“Oh my god…” You start laughing, “You’re so ridiculous. So what? She humiliated you again?? You had to what? Punish—” You can’t even finish that because you’re laughing harder now.

“Ha-Ha!” Hoseok rolls his eyes and once you stop laughing Hoseok continues, voice a little quieter. “I was pretending to be her boyfriend, remember? Well, I don’t know, it felt nice…all the small things.” He mumbles with a pout. “And then she mentioned she felt like no one really believed us so I kissed her—”

“Of course you did.” You giggle, “Classic. What movie is this?”

“Shut up.” Hoseok deadpans. “Anyway, we left and then yeah, we had sex.”

“And that’s Code Red?”

“It’s Code Red because I woke up early and bolted.” He says with a straight face and your jaw drops.

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“You are dumb as hell.” You say with an equally straight face.

“She texted me and I tried explaining it was a mistake and you know, whatever, whatever.”

“Do you think it was a mistake?”

“I don’t know!” He throws his hands up, “I’m so…I really don’t know!”

“Damn…”

“But anyway, I had sex with Dae but who the hell did you have sex with? That’s the real fucking question.”

Suddenly you’re quiet. Hoseok narrows his eyes at you and he tries studying your expression, doing his best to figure it out. “Okay…it can’t be Namjoon. No, because that wouldn’t be Code Red…you have been expecting to have sex with him so who…” Then his eyes are widening and his mouth opens and a dumb ass smile starts forming. “Oh my god.” He points at you. Fucking accusing you…”You fucked Jimin.” He says matter of fact.

Your eyes get just as wide as he assumes correctly. You still don’t say anything and he’s losing it.

“You totally…oh my god, you fucked Jimin!” He’s still pointing at you, stupid ass grin on his face because he knows he is right. You continue to look shocked before you drop your head to the dining table before groaning and dramatically crying out.

“Oh my god…” You whine, “I totally fucked Jimin.”

“Holy shit!” Hoseok still hasn’t closed his mouth, he’s…surprised but not surprised but like super surprised but also not. “Oh my god. You fucked Jimin, dude.”

“I fucked Jimin, dude.” You start banging your head on the table. “I’m a Jimin fucker.”

Finally, Hoseok closes his mouth and scrunches his brows together. “For some reason I don’t like the way that sounds so let’s not say it that way again.” Then he breathes out, “But still…you fucked Jimin. This is crazy.”

You finally lift your head, eyes beginning to pool with worry. “It is crazy.”

Hoseok notices you look a little off now as you stare at him and he softens, “Is it?”

“Yes.” You tell him simply, voice unsure. “It’s crazy for multiple reasons. And I feel like I don’t even have to tell you all the reasons because you can probably guess. And realistically you could probably come up with even more reasons than me.”

“Should I start listing some?” He lightly teases but you frown at him. “Oh come on, you fucked your ex who you are like, really close with. Are you surprised?”

“Yes?” You slump your shoulders, “But like, no?”

“Yeah.” Hoseok offers a half smile. “You guys are…well, you’re really close. Anyone can see that and sure, it could be totally platonic. I think you two might really be capable of that. But I also understand there is a long history there. And there’s probably so many things between you both no one else would even begin to understand—”

“Maybe Taehyung.” You blink at Hoseok and he snorts.

“Okay, maybe Taehyung.” He laughs, his head shaking before he continues. “If I’m being honest with you, y/n. I know he broke your heart and I know I don’t know the full story. I don’t know everything and I don’t know his side. And he’s my friend…and even if he wasn’t…it’s probably not fair to judge an entire situation without knowing all the sides, right?”

“You hated him before.” You deadpan.

“That was a few months ago…I’ve…” He starts nodding, eyes glancing up as he thinks. “…Matured?” He decides to go with that. “Anyway, regardless of what happened…you’re both in each other’s lives now, right? You’re close. You enjoy one another. Yada, Yada. Look, it’s not that big of a deal that you two had sex—”

“It was the intimate kind.” You let the words slip out quickly.

“Oh?” Hoseok raises a brow, “Like…how intimate?”

“Like, it felt like love, intimate.” You blurt but then try to recover, “I mean…I know it wasn’t that but I’m just saying that what it felt like.”

Hoseok lips part slightly as he realizes what you are saying. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” You swallow, “I’m not saying we…it’s just…that’s the kind of sex we had.”

“Well,” Hoseok glances around trying to think of what to say next to try his best to comfort you, you’re sure but when his eyes start to expand you realize he is finally putting together some other important pieces here. “Wait.”

“Yup.” You blurt blandly.

“What about Namjoon?” He asks, eyes still wide.

“Exactly.” You frown, “That’s exactly what I’m thinking. What about Namjoon…”

Hoseok stands from his chair abruptly, your eyes following him as he gives you a nod and he heads towards his kitchen, pulls out a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“We’re drinking?”

“When we’re both in a Code Red situation, drinking seems completely appropriate.”

“That…yeah, that checks out.” You stand as well and meet him in the kitchen, watching him open the wine bottle and fill both of your glasses to the absolute brim.

“So,” He hands you your glass. “What are you going to do about Namjoon? I mean, did you have sex with Jimin because you guys are in love or like, did you two fuck because well, fucking your ex is easy?”

“Holy shit.” You murmur, bringing the glass to your lips as you suck up some of the wine that is close to spilling over.

“Yeah, holy shit is right, sister.”

“We…we aren’t in love. But I think it would also be the easy way out to say we just had sex because it was an easy option.”

“How do you know you aren’t in love?” Hoseok softens even more, his tone careful with you.

“Trust me, if we were in love…wouldn’t we be together right now? Wouldn’t the sex maybe would have set off the type of chain of events where we aren’t pretending it didn’t happen?”

“Is…” Hoseok nibbles on his lip. “Don’t tell me you two are pretending…oh, that doesn’t seem like you two.”

“I know what you’re thinking. It’s not necessarily like pretending like totally avoiding and shit, but more like…it happened but it won’t happen again. We both get that.”

“But why?”

“Be-because? First, I owe Namjoon a fucking answer and probably the truth. And second…I don’t know.”

“You said the sex would have maybe set off a chain events where you two would want to be together again, right? But it didn’t? Did you ever think it’s because it just isn’t that simple, y/n? If it was that simple…then I feel like your actual relationship and dynamic has no depth. But because it’s more complex,” Hoseok picks up his own wine glass, stares at the liquid and sighs out heavily before continuing. “Well, I think it just proves how real it is.”

You stare at your best friend, mind beginning to race with thoughts you don’t even want to think about but maybe saying them out loud is a good way to ease your own mind.

“You’re right.” Your eyes fall to the counter top, “It is complex. He broke my heart, sure. But I’m not the only one who needs to work through things. He has stuff too.” A small smile creeps on your lips, “I could shove down my own problems and new insecurities to start new—whoever that may be with—but I could never expect him…especially at this point in time, to just get over his own trauma.”

“Trauma?” Hoseok pulls his brows together. “What do you mean?”

“Right.” You gulp. Eyes lifting back to meet his, “I can’t share it because I don’t know how comfortable Jimin would be with it but yeah, he just…he has things and anyway, it is complex.”

“I’m not sure my situation is even complex.” Hoseok chuckles. “I’m just a chicken.”

“I’ll drink to that.” You wink, taking a sip of your wine and Hoseok flips you off.

“I’m just…I’m wanting the right one, you know? But it’s come to my attention I don’t know who that is and maybe I do. But how do I really know? And I don’t know. I’m stupid.”

“You aren’t stupid. You’re like every other human being on this planet. Scared.”

“But what am I scared of?”

“Love?” You shrug.

“No, love is this amazing thing!”

“Love is an amazing thing but when there’s good there’s bad!” You throw back at him. “And no one prepares their heart for the bad. Trust me.”

“Or” Hoseok sets his wine down, his eyes finding yours and you can see how the dark browns swirling around also swirl with sincerity. “We do prepare for the bad but we don’t like how it feels to imagine that and that’s why we’re scared. Because maybe we’ve gotten a taste and decided you know what? Is the good worth all this bad again?”

“Well,” You set your glass down as well. “Then I guess all I can say is…being human sucks.”

~~~~~

Monday morning and you are at the office much earlier than usual. Hoseok walks in some time after you and eyes you strangely as he sets up his desk.

“If you tell me you have not even slept…I swear—”

“Does 40 minutes count?” You cut him off, eyes on your screen. “Because if it does then I totally slept.”

“For your sake I’ll just agree that it counts.” Hoseok shakes his head before sitting down.

“And for your sake I doubled the amount.” You mumble to yourself, eyes still on your screen as you try to convert this document. “So,” You click the mouse repeatedly, and…annoyingly. “Namjoon is out of town this week so I will have to live with my sins a little longer.”

Hoseok glances over at you, pity smile on his lips. “Maybe that’s good? Gives you more time to think.”

“Thinking is literally the last thing I want to—”

“Sup guys.” Jeremy comes towards you both, stopping at his desk to set his coffee down. “Is uh, is Naomi here yet?”

You just continue to look at your screen, clicking your mouse as you shake your head.

Jeremy releases a long breath before adjusting his jacket, “Okay. Cool, cool.” He finally takes his seat.

“Why?” Hoseok turns in his chair to face Jeremy, “Need her for some—”

“Nope. No. No. Nah.” Jeremy shakes his head with his hands waving in front of him. “Just wondering. Yup, just having uh, wonders. It was…I was just…wonder—anyway, uh, have you guys umm, talked to her? Like over the weekend?”

You continue to stare at your screen, mouse clicking and you shake your head…again.

“Yeah, that’s cool. Okay, cool, cool.” Jeremy nods along, hands still adjusting his jacket.

“O…kay.” Hoseok gives Jeremy a confused look before turning in his chair to face you again. “Jeremy is being weird, y/n.”

“Jeremy is always weird, Hoseok.” You say, eyes probably straining thanks to the screen.

“No. Just look at him.” Hoseok whispers and you finally tear your eyes away, glancing in their direction when you snort.

“What…what are you wearing?” You raise a brow at Jeremy.

“What?” Jeremy starts to feel antsy. “Is it weird? It’s weird right. The jacket? Is it too much?”

“Uh, it’s not that. Just…why?” You look at Hoseok and he shrugs, holding in his own laugh.

“I can’t look nice?” Jeremy decides to act sassy. “You’re a slob half the time but I don’t try to make you feel weird when you wear a skirt!” “Jeez.” You raise your hands in surrender, stifling your own laughter as well. “Fair point.”

“Hello friends!” Naomi’s voice can be heard, your turn your head to get a look at her when she walks towards you guys, her curls bouncing cutely above her shoulders. “Morning.” She says…only to you and Hoseok. “Love seeing my friends here.”

“Yeah, hi.” You eye her over…she usually does look decently nice for work but this is…”You look pretty…is there an occasion? Are you and Jeremy going somewhere after working or something?”

“HA!” Naomi giggles, almost forced when she grins wide before spinning on her heels to face Jeremy. “Well, hello, Jeremiah.”

“Naomi-iah.” He stands from his chair, hands still freaking adjusting the jacket.

“That’s like…neither of their names, right?” Hoseok whispers towards you and you shake your head before continuing to watch this weird ass interaction.

“Love coming to work to see my friends! Even you! Wow, especially you! Right? My friend?” Naomi flutters her lashes as she always does, smile still wide while Jeremy nods enthusiastically.

“Of course! Because I’m your friend. And uh, well, you’re my friend.” Then his head bobs around as he looks at you and Hoseok too. “We are all friends! Love being friends. I love having friends. Friends are so cool—”

“Exactly. You just love your friends so much!” Naomi starts laughing, “You are like, friend of the year.”

“I sure am. But uh, y/n is right! You look nice!” He forces a grin.

“Wow, thank you!” Naomi continues to smile, lashes still fluttering. “And you look…” She eyes him up and down, smile still in place when she blinks awkwardly. “…weird.”

“I-I-I-“

“Well,” Naomi smiles even wider, “Got to get to work, am I right, friends?” And then she walks off to her desk as Jeremy mumbles to himself, eyeing over his outfit.

“Weird.” You mouth at Hoseok and he shrugs.

Tuesday evening when you hear from Jimin for the first time since you saw him last. The texts are pretty awkward but at least he’s texting you.

Jimin 7:03pm

So have u eaten

y/n 7:10pm

yeah I have

Jimin 7:10pm

Oh ok

y/n 7:12pm

have you

Jimin 7:12pm

Uhhhhh not yet but I guess I should lol

y/n 7:12pm

I have leftovers if you want them

Jimin 7:13pm

Youre invited me over?

y/n 7:13pm

seems like it right

Jimin 7:15pm

Right

y/n 7:18pm

come on jimin just come over

Jimin 7:20pm

Its to talk about things isn’t it lol

y/n 7:22pm

you don’t think we should?

Jimin 7:23pm

No I definitely think we should

y/n 7:23pm

alright then come

Jimin 7:38pm

On my way

“This is pretty good.” Jimin says with his mouth full, the last bite finally conquered as he finishes the left overs you offered him.

“I know, right?” You smile, “It’s new. Opened up like less than two years ago.”

Jimin stands from the island and throws away his container and goes to the sink to wash his hands. “Didn’t you have a rule about trying to eat home cooked meals on week days?”

“Well,” You laugh, “Things change!”

“Yeah.” Jimin dries his hands on the towelette before turning to you. “I guess they do…so, should we go into the living room?” He gestures towards the area of your sofa and you nod, standing from your chair and heading in that direction. Jimin follows, deciding not to sit too far from you so it doesn’t seem like he is being awkward and purposely staying away…but maybe he is sitting too close. Not even a foot of space between you both but nothing is said about it.

“So.” Jimin stares ahead, eyes on your black TV screen.

“So.” You decide to follow his gaze, the black TV screen looking so entertaining. “Um.”

“Um.” He copies.

You release a breath before laughing to yourself, eyes falling to your lap now. “We are usually so good at talking and being open…why are we being so awkward?” “So awkward, right?” Jimin laughs too, his head titling in your direction. “Let’s just say it. We had sex. And we want to discuss it. But are we discussing it like how it went?” He cracks a smile, “Or discussing what it meant? Why did we do that? What we should do now?”

“All of the above?” You lean back into the sofa cushion, small smile as well. “First, I think we can both admit sex between us has always been great so no surprise there.”

“That’s true.” Jimin hums. “It felt natural being with you but there was also something about it that felt so…thrilling. It felt brand new while also feeling like ho—well, I don’t know.” Jimin finishes timidly.

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” You gulp, both knowing. “So…why did we do that?”

“You’re skipping over ‘what it meant’ already?” Jimin teases, “But uh, it would be bad to blame the brownie, right?” He chuckles, relaxing his shoulders some as he leans back on the couch as well. “Because even I know that even if the brownie was not a part of the equation…” “What?”

“It was going to happen regardless.” Jimin tells you simply. “At least I would have wanted it to.”

You sigh out, eyes going to the ceiling. Yeah, you believe that actually. “Are you saying it was a matter of time?” You turn your head towards Jimin, crooked smile on your face. “That because everything is so familiar with me that we were bound to hook up?”

“Familiar? You think I only wanted to fuck you because it was familiar, y/n?” Jimin turns his head to face you as well. “I fucked you because I am very attracted to you and we have great chemistry.” He shrugs his shoulders, head facing forward again. “I fucked you because you’re you.”

“Oh.”

“Did you only have sex with me because I’m your ex and it seemed familiar?” Jimin asks you, voice quieter.

“It makes things easier.” You respond. Jimin turns his head towards you again, eyes finding yours before he narrows them, not really believing your answer.

“But no,” You sigh out, “I guess not. Your reasons seem relatable.”

“Hmm.” Jimin continues to gaze at you, “You can be honest y/n. If you only wanted me that night because you were just…in the mood for something like that…and I was an easy option—”

“No!” You lift your head and lean towards him, “That’s not what I—I didn’t mean to come across that way.”

Jimin’s lips lift into a smile, “I know.”

“You know?” You ask and he hums.

“Yeah. The way we fucked babe, you really think I would think you would only want something like that just because you were horny? Yeah, no.”

“Jimin—”

“If you were just looking to get fucked don’t you think you would have just done it with Namjoon by now? But Namjoon isn’t what you wanted,” His voice goes lower, eyes boring into yours. “Now was it?”

He makes it sound so simple—and maybe it is. But you think you might refuse the idea of it being that easy. “W-What do we do now?”

“Still avoiding what it meant?” Jimin decides to tease you again, lips curved into one of his addicting smiles. “That’s okay.”

“It meant…” You start chewing on your lips, realizing you are avoiding that one because you haven’t even really thought about what it could mean. “I don’t know.”

“Me either.” Jimin’s smile continues to charm you. “And I think it’s okay that we don’t know right now. But what to do…”

“Yeah.”

“You’re very important to me, y/n.” Jimin breathes out, “So important.”

“I know.” You smoosh your cheek into the couch cushion, “You’re important to me too.”

“You’re in this thing with Namjoon…I don’t mean like,” His eyes widen a bit as he stares at you, “It’s not like thing, thing—an official thing—right? But it’s a situation? I mean, he’s…are you going to tell him?”

“Yeah,” you close your eyes briefly, hating that you have to tell Namjoon about this. “I am. I feel like I owe him that much. Not sure how he will react. If he will be angry or just disappointed.”

“I don’t know either.” Jimin admits. “But say things go okay…he still wants to be in a relationship with you…what are you going to do?”

“What…” You pause. You can’t believe you are on the verge of asking Jimin what you should do…you are really on the verge of asking Jimin to tell you what it is you think you should do because apparently it matters to you—his thoughts and opinions.

“Hm?”

“What do you think I should do?” You blurt.

“You…” Jimin raises his brows at you, “You want me to tell you what I think?”

“Yeah.”

“I think you know already, y/n. Not just what I think but what you think. But you are fighting it and I cannot figure out why.”

“Fighting it?”

“Mhm.” Jimin looks at you with a softness, a softness that seems to be bleeding into another look. Maybe one of guilt. “If I had to guess it would be because you’re just wanting something or someone and you know he’s good, maybe even safe. You’re afraid to ever feel something again like you had with me.”

“Okay.” You stare at him, slowly nodding your head. “Maybe.”

“And that’s one reason why what we did cannot happen again. Right?” Jimin tilts his head just slightly, a smile that is barely there on his lips.

You feel your chest tighten as the words leave his mouth, “Right.” You whisper. “And another reason is because of you. Right?”

Jimin’s lips curve just a little higher, his eyes shining with his understanding—and your understanding. “Right.”

“We’ve moved on.” You state simply. “So, of course we wouldn’t fall into what we did again.”

“Oh?” Jimin’s lips start tugging into something sly. “So, you are telling me you won’t even think about it then?”

“The sex we had?” You question and he grins.

“Yeah. You won’t think about it? Won’t let your mind wander?”

“Even if it did…doesn’t mean—Listen, I’ve been successful. You think I haven’t thought about you like that? Nothing happened!”

“But…something did happen?” Jimin chuckles, “You weren’t successful.”

“Did you…did you ever think about—“

“I told you when I was fucking you that I had.”

“Yeah but—”

“I wasn’t just saying things to turn you on. Everything I said was the truth. I have been desperate to kiss you for some time.”

You can’t help but snort, “Desperate is a pretty serious word, Jimin.”

“It’s been pretty serious.” He laughs back. “Even with knowing it’s not a good idea or something I should do…even right now I am thinking about kissing you.”

Your mouth falls open, surprise gracing your features before you lean more forward to hit his arm. “You are not!”

“I definitely am.” He smirks. “Maybe I’ll be thinking about that forever. Who knows.”

“You really have no shame.” You roll your eyes, covering your mouth with your hand, doing your best to hide your growing smile. “You can’t just say that.”

“At least let me say it since I can’t do it.” Jimin jokes. “But anyway, y/n.” He grows a little more serious, “We’re okay?”

“Yeah, we are.” You smile towards him. “Want to watch a show?”

“Might as well.” Jimin returns your smile before standing from the sofa, walking to the other side to grab your designated blanket. He comes back to his spot but instead of a foot of distance between you both, he sits right next to you, thighs glued together. “Cold.” He mumbles as he lays the blanket over both of your laps.

You reach for the TV remote, turning it on to Netflix. “A movie?”

“Sounds good to me,” Jimin says, head leaning on your shoulder, “Pick whatever you want.”

You aren’t really sure Jimin is paying too much attention to the movie you chose…every time you steal a glance at him, you see how his eyes are on your lap. His fingers play with yours and so much warmth starts radiating off of your body. You don’t know what he is thinking or how he is feeling in the moment.

“Are you bored?” You whisper at him, “You look bored.”

“Not at all.” Jimin murmurs, “I am having a nice time actually.”

“You aren’t even watching the movie.” You laugh, pointing out the obvious. “Your eyes have only been on our hands.”

“Your hands are nice.”

“So you would rather watch them than this movie? Yeah, you’re bored.”

“Not bored.” Jimin chuckles, his eyes finally lifting to look at you. And then he speaks slowly, “Touching you isn’t boring for me.”

His touch relaxes you but his words send a strange feeling throughout your body. Tingles maybe.

“You’re saying you could touch me forever and have fun then?” You quirk a brow, “You’d never get bored?”

“Is there a world where you let me touch you forever?” Jimin’s lips curve up, “Sounds like my ideal world.”

“Shut up.” You shake your head, “Don’t tell me something like that.”

“Like what?”

“That you have an ideal world and I’m in it.”

“You aren’t just in it. In the ideal world I get to touch you.” He whispers.

“Then are you in your ideal world then? You’re touching me right now.”

“In my ideal world I am touching you a whole lot more than this.” Jimin’s tone falls lower, his eyes on yours and you want to shudder…because the tingles are here again and they are starting to feel dangerous to your health.

“How much more?” Your breaths are soft but one leaves your mouth shaky and Jimin knows he’s got your mind wandering.

“Don’t ask a question that you aren’t prepared to hear the answer.” Jimin’s fingers start threading through yours. “The only hint I can give you is that it’s so much touching that you would be aching to touch me back.”

“Would I?” You tease, smirk on your lips while Jimin rolls his eyes at you, scoffing at how much of a tease you are.

“Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“I know because I know you.”

“Do you though?” You continue to tease him, your own fingers playing with his. “It’s been five years, Jimin. People change.”

Jimin starts chuckling, his hand leaving yours. He raises his head and turns it towards you, just a few inches from your face when he gazes into your eyes, a specific glint inside them. “That doesn’t work anymore, y/n.” He tells you softly, “I know you now. I know you all over again. I know this y/n. I know you.”

Your breath gets stuck inside your throat somewhere. As much as you would love to breathe—you can’t. Not when Jimin stares at you like this…stares at you like he really does know you. Stares at you with eyes full of some unreadable emotion. You look at him, trying your best to read his expression. You finally release a long breath, still staring when it finally hits you. You can read him—you can read him well. You know exactly what he wants.

“You want to kiss me.” The worlds tumble out of your mouth quickly and quietly and Jimin’s smile drops and his eyes expand but before he can save himself and maybe even lie to you…you lean in and plant your lips on top of his.

You weren’t thinking…not exactly. You just followed whatever your body wanted. And it seems Jimin is doing the same. The moment your lips touched his, he already had his hands traveling across your waist until they are now cupping the back of your neck, his own lips working over yours.

You don’t know how long you two have been kissing but it feels good, there isn’t even tongue yet but it’s still messy and hot. The low groaning coming from Jimin is making every nerve in your body react, your fingers tugging his hair and pulling him closer to you, leading his body over yours as you start to lay back.

Jimin is quick to slot himself between your legs, getting as close as possible to you while his lips never leave yours. When he lightly bites down on your bottom lip, tugging it back and making you buck your hips into his crotch, he finally slides his tongue in your mouth. Warm, wet and sloppy and so fucking hypnotizing. Especially the way he starts grinding into you.

Jimin pulls away from your lips so he can start exploring other parts of you with his mouth. His tongue glides across your jaw, your head leaning further back, a soft moan leaving you while Jimin continues to grind. He sucks a spot on your neck while his hands get busy—he wastes no time—his fingers already at your pants, trying his best to unbutton them quickly while he kisses your skin.

“Wait, wait.” You whine, eyes slamming shut. “I’m on my period.” Your own hands go to his to stop him from taking your pants off. Jimin leans away from you before he smirks.

“You know I don’t care.” He whispers, his lips finding yours again. He pecks your lips over and over, his fingers still trying to mess with the button. Your eyes roll back, wanting nothing more than for him to do whatever it is he wants with you. But you stop him again, smile on your lips as you cup his face.

“It’s not light.” You inform him, “It’s okay, seriously.”

Jimin breathes out roughly, his forehead coming down to yours as he calms himself down. “Okay, okay.” He tells you, “That’s okay—”

“You’re hard?”

Jimin disconnects his forehead from yours just barely, only for his eyes to meet your eyes. “y/n.” He moans your name and you feel yourself grow warmer and warmer. Jimin licks his lips before continuing, “You know I’m so hard right now. I’m so fucking hard for you.”

“Let me take care of you.” You begin rising from the couch, your hands on his chest as you push him back. “Let me make you feel good.”

“I feel good already babe.” Jimin gazes at you, his eyes softening but the lust is still very much alive in them.

“You like looking at my hands right?” You push Jimin even more, his back hitting the couch cushion. “Don’t you want to see them wrapped around your cock?”

Jimin freezes for only a second, his chest beginning to heave more and more as he lets the image of you playing with his cock linger in his mind.

“You were right, Jimin.”

“About what?” He struggles to speak coherently, his dick so painfully erect now.

“You do touch me in a way that I ache to touch you back.” Your fingers go to his jeans, already unbuttoning them and sliding down the zipper. “My ideal world…fuck,” You help him get his jeans off, your hand dipping inside his briefs. “I touch you too.” Your fingers barely brush against his member but you can feel it react instantly. It twitches and Jimin’s eyes become half lidded as he stares at you. “This is my ideal world, Jimin.”

“Then touch me…fuck,” He whines, struggling to keep his eyes open and on you. Your fingers wrap around the shaft, barely stroking him when he breathes harder and harder. “Fucking touch me more baby.”

“More? Maybe my hands aren’t enough for you Jimin.” You finally pull his member out as Jimin’s own hands scramble to tug his underwear down to his thick thighs. “You don’t want to come all over my hands right? You’d rather come down my throat, huh? You’d rather have me swallow your cum, taste you and crave you later when you aren’t here.”

“You would crave me, wouldn’t you?” Jimin’s raspy voice makes your head spin. This entire scene in front of you makes your head spin actually. The way he looks at you, eyes barely open, his lips extra plump and swollen from kissing and his chest rising and falling quickly. “Because you’re so addicted to me.”

He nailed it, you think. You are addicted…the way he kisses, the way he touches, the way he fucks, the way he just exists in front of you.

“I am.” You tell him, eyes on his while you lower your face to his cock, wasting no time in wrapping your lips around the head.

“y/n…” Jimin whimpers your name, his eyes closing for a moment. “I love this…love this…”

You know he does. You know this addiction has you doing things you both agreed you wouldn’t do because you couldn’t—because you shouldn’t. Yet here you are, pleasing Jimin until he tenses beneath you and spilling all of his warm cum into your mouth. And here he is drowning in you all over again.

~~~~~

“What is up with them?” You whisper to Hoseok, both of you staring at Naomi and Jeremy from across the table as they blatantly ignore one another.

“By the way, y/n…” Jeremy gets your attention but stops midway to take a bite of his lunch, “It’s Wednesday, don’t forget to help me print out my report.”

“Uh huh.” You nod, eyes going between him and Naomi. “Are you guys like…okay?”

“Us?” Naomi gestures between her and Jeremy. “Obviously. What great friends like us wouldn’t be okay?”

“Exactly.” Jeremy mumbles with his mouth full. “We’re amazing.”

“Oh dude, how was your date on Friday? What’s this one’s name again?” Hoseok asks, dipping pineapple into some sauce. “It was date two, right?”

Jeremy swallows his food before glancing at Naomi awkwardly, “Yeah, it was good. Her name is Mimi. I’m supposed to see her again sometime this weekend, maybe Saturday but I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Naomi stares ahead, eating her own lunch. “Right, you seem to not know a lot of things, huh?”

Jeremy rolls his eyes at this, “Anyway, she’s a nice girl—”

“Well, if you like her so much you should definitely go out with her again!” Naomi turns her head towards Jeremy and smiles. “But you know, don’t tell her you like her if you aren’t even sure though. That would be pretty fucked up.” She tells him, smile still on her face before she turns to look at you and Hoseok. “Right, guys? Imagine?”

“Yeah…” You blink at them, still so confused what is going on.

The four of you get back to your office and continue working for the day. It’s around 4 when your boss, Mr. Lincoln calls for a meeting. You groan, not wanting to get lectured again on whatever it is he wants improved. You and Hoseok share a look with one another as you take your seats in the meeting room, waiting for whatever it is Mr. Lincoln wants to scold your office for.

“Alright!” Mr. Lincoln claps his hands together, “I know most of you have already heard by now but I will be taking a leave for a few months! Some other business I have to attend to but no worries, my wife’s very capable nephew will be coming to fill in for a bit.”

“Great.” Hoseok leans in to whisper, his voice annoyed. “I bet this person doesn’t know shit.”

“Same.” You mutter back.

Mr. Lincoln glances at the two of you before he continues, “If you think I can be hard on you all then you will finally realize how easy it is here with me.” He starts to chuckle, shaking his head lightly. “My nephew takes his roles very seriously. Please keep that in mind when you try to goof off. You, especially.” He points at Hoseok, “I know how much you and your friends love to chat.”

“It’s y/n who always starts the conversations!” Hoseok tries to put the blame on you, “She’s the culprit!”

“Nonsense.” Mr. Lincoln looks at you now, “I know y/n is a very hard worker.”

Naomi and Jeremy start laughing at this and you just shrug, Hoseok glares at you while mouthing ‘he wants to fuck you’ when Mr. Lincoln isn’t looking. You just swat his arm and carry on.

“Friday will be my last day but no worries, I will be back everyone. Let’s work hard.”

You and Hoseok sit on his couches, finishing take out that you both decide wasn’t very good and probably too expensive. It’s only Wednesday and that thought alone sucks since you are so ready for this week to be over.

“I can’t believe you guys did it again.” Your best friends says, rubbing his belly from how full he is despite the food only being a like 5 out of 10. “Is this going to become a thing?”

“First,” You slide your food container away from you, “We didn’t do it again. Just…you know,”

“I love you but shut up.” Hoseok laughs. “It counts.”

“I’m so stupid, Hobi. We came to a whole ass conclusion that we shouldn’t yet we—”

“The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“Or my vagina.” You deadpan.

“Normally I would agree but your secret garden didn’t even get any action so…”

“I guess that’s true.” You frown. “He’s so…he makes me…I don’t even know.”

“I think you do know.” Hoseok tells you bluntly, “You do know…but you won’t say it and I have no idea why. I’m your best friend. Just say exactly what you’re thinking.”

You stare at him before you scoff to yourself, “Hoseok, trust me. I’m not even thinking things in my brain with my brain voice the thoughts that my brain is even having. If I can’t even make my brain voice say those things how the hell do you think I’m going to get my mouth voice to do it?”

“Too many voices.” Hoseok shakes his head, “Anyway, I get it. I guess. But okay, let’s start there—have the thoughts in your head and like, hear them.”

“No thanks.” You tell him right away, “I’m good.”

“You’re being so—” Hoseok’s head shoots up when he hears his door bell ring. “Who is here?” He wonders, glancing at you but you shrug. Hoseok stands from his sofa and walks through his home to answer the front door. You can hear him open the door, whatever, whatever but your ears really perk up when you hear a voice that is all too familiar.

“Jimin?” You turn to see Hoseok and Jimin walk through, Jimin’s eyes expanding when he spots you.

“y/n?” He questions you in return. “You’re here?”

“…Yes. You’re here?”

“Yes…”

“And I’m here too!” Hoseok grins. “Ah, but maybe you guys wish I wasn’t,” He starts smirking. “You know, so you two could…” He wiggles his brows at both of you when Jimin’s eyes go wide.

“You told him?!” Jimin blurts out, his finger pointing at you.

“Of course I told him?!” You look at him incredulously, “Why wouldn’t I have? He’s my best friend!”

“True.” Hoseok nods in approval.

“Why are you shocked!” You shout, “Didn’t you tell anyone?!”

“Who am I going to tell?!” Jimin looks at you just as incredulously.

“Uh, Taehyung??”

“Taehyung?!” Jimin looks at you like you are insane. “Seriously? If I told Taehyung right now he would just…he would be so happy! He would literally start planning a wedding! You know…again.”

“Shit,” You tear your eyes away from his for a moment, “That’s totally understandable. So then why are you here?”

Jimin shifts awkwardly from one foot to another, his eyes going from you to Hoseok before he’s lifting a finger to point at your best friend. “Uh…” Jimin stares at you blankly. “To tell…him.”

“Of course.” You deadpan.

“Wait, really?” Hoseok lights up, grin growing. “You came here to talk to me about this stuff?”

“Yes?” Jimin looks a bit unsure. “If that’s cool?”

Hoseok lights up even more, “Of course that’s cool!” Then he looks at you, “y/n, hurry, go home.”

“What?” “Go home!” Hoseok whines. “I want to hear everything from Jimin’s perspective.” Then he glances at Jimin, “Because I, you know, care.”

“He’s just nosey as fuck.” You tell Jimin with a straight face as you stand from the couch, “But fine, you’re lucky, I was wanting to go home anyway.”

You are curious, of course. So curious actually. So curious in fact that you’ve texted Hoseok like 8 times but he still hasn’t answered and it’s already almost midnight. You are wondering what Jimin told Hoseok, what his thoughts are—his feelings. You want to know. But don’t you already know? Didn’t he already tell you everything? You’re wondering if you should give up on Hoseok texting you back and just wait until tomorrow at work to get answers. But right when you think you’re giving up, your phone goes off.

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

I shoulda known I was gonna come find my phone with a bunch of texts from you and YOU call ME nosey!!!!

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

But ok wow. Tonight was a lot

Hobi:)) 11:56pm

Like a lot

y/n 11:56pm

what happened??? What did he tell you?

Hobi:)) 11:58pm

He told me maybe everything? He told me about emma dude…that shit hurted. Anyway so much stuff makes sense now…he also told me why he broke your heart and stuff and like I said…so much stuff makes sense

y/n 12:01am

Hobi:)) 12:02am

Yeeeeaah…but umm he did also tell me about you guys hooking up and also what you guys talked about

y/n 12:03am

okay and

Hobi:))12:08am

And I feel like he didn’t tell you everything

y/n 12:08am

???

y/n 12:08am

what are you talking about

Hobi:)) 12:09am

Im just saying I don’t think he told you everything

Hobi:)) 12:09am

Like based on what you told me he said, I don’t think he told you everything and also he said even more stuff tonight and idk kinda feels like you two need to talk again

y/n 12:12am

genuinely so confused

y/n 12:12am

just tell me?

Hobi:)) 12:13am

No no no this is something that needs to come from him…im not saying he intentionally didn’t tell you something but I think he might have something to say or idk. Idk how to explain it but look regardless figure your shit out with joon cuz this is gonna get messy fast

y/n 12:20am

wtf hobi

Hobi:)) 12:22am

Im team jimin btw. Hes a good guy y/n and you know this already and I know things sucked for a while but he does care about you and I care about you and I want to see you happy and isn’t that jimin?

Hobi:)) 12:40am

You aren’t replying so I know im right. But I also know something else…because jimin is the one that makes you happy that’s why you wont choose him right? Because the happier a person can make you also means this person can also make you the saddest and youre terrified of that I get it y/n but that thought breaks my heart and I hope I am wrong

y/n 12:43am

goodnight hobi

~~~~~

It’s Thursday evening when Jimin calls you, asking if he can come over and talk to you about something—obviously you say yes but not even a minute after you hang up with him, your phone is ringing again. Namjoon.

“Hello?” you answer pretty quickly. You haven’t really heard from him all week since he’s been out of town.

“Hey.” He sounds tired, exhausted even. “You busy?”

“Not currently, why?”

“Well, first,” Namjoon pauses, his voice still sounding tired but you can tell he’s smiling. “How was your day?”

“It was good.” You respond, “Tiring.”

“Tell me about it. I’m actually back in town, just got home and I thought I’d see if you wanted to come over for a little while? I have an early morning but I would love to see you even if it’s just for a little bit.”

“Oh.” You stare at nothing, thinking about how Jimin is probably already on his way. “I—”

“I really need to see you.” Namjoon chuckles, “It has not been a very good week.”

“Oh.” You say much softer. “Okay…Um, I can leave in a few minutes then.”

“Perfect, be safe on your way here.”

You and Namjoon hang up and you feel a bit of dread as you dial Jimin’s number and to call him and let him know he can no longer come hang out with you. He answers on the second ring.

“Hey.” He sounds nice on the other line, his voice something so soothing to you.

“Hey…”

“What’s up? You okay?”

“Actually,” You pause, wondering how it will feel for him. “Namjoon just called and he’s home and wants to see me but I was going to tell him no but—”

“It’s okay.” Jimin cuts in, “If you need to cancel, I get it.”

“It’s not that I just want to cancel on you, Jimin. He just sounds like he had a bad week and—”

“It’s okay. I get it.” Jimin tells you, voice soft. “Are you staying there?”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s just a for a little while.”

“Okay…want to come by my place after you see him? I still want to talk to you.”

“Yeah.” You breathe out, “I can do that.”

You’re barely even finishing knocking on Namjoon’s door when he’s already swinging it open and pulling you inside.

“Hi.” He brings you close to him, his arms wrapping around your body as he embraces you tightly. “I missed you.”

“Hi.” You say back, the word getting lost into his t shirt as he squeezes you to his chest.

You’re nervous to be here to be honest. You plan on telling Namjoon about what you’ve done with Jimin but you’re waiting for the right timing.

“I had the shittiest week.” He tells you, “I just need you around to feel better.”

And you are realizing maybe this isn’t the right timing. Namjoon finally peels himself off of you, holding you at arm’s length and smiling the kind of smile that makes you feel weaker.

But even this smile lacks in joy. He’s tired. He’s looking beat from the week. He’s looking like he only needs to hear good things.

Namjoon takes a deep breath before hugging you again.

“What happened?” You finally ask. “Is everything okay?”

Namjoon leads you to his cream sofa, taking a seat next to you and starts telling you about his week.

“Honestly, my writing is just…I’m in a funk, maybe? But everything has been garbage…at least to me. Emiko has been trying to cheer me up but she’s going through her own stuff and she’s just…she’s probably had a worse week than me.” Namjoon sighs, “She just doesn’t realize she deserves so much better—anyway. Two, yes two, of the meetings I had this week to set up for the tour this summer got canceled because they’re pulling out! Like, pulling out altogether so that’s great news.” He frowns now, his fingers rubbing his temple. “It just feels like things with my career aren’t progressing the way I want them to but also, Emiko is my agent and she works so hard but…”

“But what?”

“I know she’s going through a really tough time. And I can’t really help her and that bugs me. Sorry, I’m just…I hate when I can’t be there for someone I care about.”

You smile at Namjoon because that sounds just like him. “I’m sure she knows you are here for her, Joon.”

“She doesn’t want me to be. That’s the thing.” His frown deepens. “She made a huge deal about us needing to be more professional…that at the end of the day she’s just my agent. That hurt, you know?”

“Oh.” You feel your heart hurt for him, “That would hurt. For sure. But she’s probably just saying that because she’s dealing with whatever is going on with her. Maybe she’s trying to push you away but even if you have to just stay by her side silently…she will appreciate it.”

Namjoon’s lips finally lift into a smile, “You’re right.” He tells you, “I’m just…I’ve known her almost my whole life. I hate seeing her in a bad mood, I guess.”

“You’re very sweet.”

And he is…he is very sweet.

“Thank you, y/n. I knew talking to you and seeing you would be something that would make me feel better.”

You only nod at him, guilt starting to bubble over but you try to push that away as you come to your decision. Namjoon is a good man, a very good man and you would be stupid as hell to lose this.

“Hey, I’m leaving Namjoon’s. I know it’s late but did you still want me to come over?” You ask Jimin over the phone, “I can be there in 20.”

“Actually,” Jimin’s voice sounds a little muffled, “I’m kind of already at your place.”

“Huh?”

“I was feeling bored so I just came here. I’m just outside, chillin.”

“Oh.” You turn, driving through a neighborhood as you start making your way to your place instead. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

“Okay, be safe. See you soon.” And then he is hanging up.

You arrive to your place not too much later, walking up to your apartment when you see Jimin sitting outside your door, dark hair looking longer, blowing in the breeze.

You greet him casually as you unlock your front door and you both make your way inside.

Jimin slips his shoes off and is already making his way to your living room, plopping down on the couch. You eye him over as you take off your own shoes, “You okay?” You ask.

Jimin looks a little odd—maybe nervous or anxious, his leg shaking up and down. He just nods his head but you can see how he swallows hard.

“Okay…” You walk towards him, taking a seat next to him.

“How was Namjoon’s?” Jimin asks, “Did you tell him?”

“Did I—oh, no. He uh, he was having a hard time and I didn’t want to potentially make it harder so I haven’t…”

Jimin stops shaking his leg as he nods slowly, “Oh. I see.” “But I made my decision.” You look Jimin in the eye but he grows a little confused.

“About?”

“Namjoon.”

Jimin eyes’ go wide before he’s gesturing for you to continue.

“If Namjoon still wants a relationship with me even after I tell him what we did…I’m going to agree. I’m going—”

“Wait.” Jimin’s eyes search yours, “Wait, wait. What?”

“Yeah. I’m going to, you know, be his girlf—” “That’s…” Jimin’s gaze falls to your lap. “That’s what you want?”

“Yes.” You tell him. “It is.”

“It’s what you want because you like him. Right?” His eyes find yours again, but they have hardened.

“Y-Yeah.”

Jimin stares at you for moments too long, his gaze making you feel nervous but he finally tears his eyes from you, licks his drying lips and stands from the couch. “Okay. I really wish you good luck, y/n. I hope this works out.”

“Thanks…” You mumble, your eyes on his back. “What—what did you want to talk about though?”

He turns to face you, a small smile on his lips. “It’s nothing now. Don’t worry. I’m going to head home but we’ll talk soon, yeah?”

~~~~~

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck—”

“What?!” You shout at Hoseok, who sits at his desk beside you, “Why are you freaking out?”

“Dae just texted me.” He tells you, “And it’s…”

“It’s? It’s what?”

“Holy shit. What am I going to do?” He drags his hands down his face, “We have barely spoken since you know what, but now this???”

“What?”

“Apparently, Taehyung and Dae are going to get here this evening. She said Taehyung planned it and is wanting her to come so he doesn’t fall asleep on the drive…plus in his eyes—well, in his eyes I didn’t,” He lowers his voice into a whisper, “you know, fuck his sister and leave her the next morning!”

“Oh, damn.” You can’t help but smirk. “This should be entertaining.”

“He wants all of us to go out tonight for drinks,” Hoseok groans, “Jeremy and Jimin already confirmed they’d go but they don’t have to see Dae!”

“They will see Dae?”

“Yeah but they don’t have to see her after they’ve,” He lowers his voice again, “Fucked her!”

“True. But uh, Jimin said he would go?” You try to act nonchalant, eyes going back to your screen. “Cool.”

“Why are you being weird?” Hoseok accuses you right away. “Did something happen?”

“I wish I knew.” You tell him, “He’s barely talking to me today.”

“For real? He’s been blowing my phone up.” Hoseok shrugs, “Wait, once again, did something happen?”

“He came over to talk last night, uh, I told him I was going to give things with Namjoon a shot and he got weird and left. I texted him asking is he got home safe, blah, blah but anyway, he’s been so dry with me.”

“He came to talk but you told him…are you serious?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me you aren’t serious.”

“But I am serious.”

“I know you aren’t that dumb, y/n.” Hoseok tells you with a straight face. “You really—”

“I made my decision, Hoseok.” You glance at your phone when you see a text from Dae. “Anyway, I’ll tell Naomi. I guess we are all hanging out tonight.”

Present

“No, no, no.” Taehyung looks at everyone with shocked eyes. “Dae?! Even you?!”

“Yes, even me, brother.” She looks unimpressed, taking another sip of her drink just for fun now.

“Hold on. Jimin?! But also…y/n?! Wait,” He slurs, a grin starting to form. “I will be the happiest man alive if you guys both had sex at the same time.” Then he looks a little puzzled, “I mean because it was you know,” He starts thrusting his pointing finger inside a hole he made with his other hand’s fingers. “Together.”

“Jeez, Taehyung.” You grumble, “Yeah, whatever. We did.” You look across the table to see Jimin who just sits here, eyes on his drink only.

“What?!” Taehyung shouts, “How?! How did that happen?! Oh my god, I have so many questions but I need to continue down this list. Okay, skipping Dae…Hoseok?! Who did you have sex with in the last week???”

Hoseok gulps, his eyes accidentally going straight to Dae and Taehyung is pretty quick to pick up what Hoseok is putting down.

“Wait, wait.” Taehyung points between Hoseok and Dae. “My…my sister?! Ah, come on, man! Not my sister! I know I wanted you to find someone! But not my sister!!!!”

“Why? You don’t think I’m good enough for your friend, Taehyung?” Dae rolls her eyes, “Don’t worry, he doesn’t seem to think so either.”

“Hey, I never said that.” Hoseok says, voice only directed at Dae. “I—seriously I don’t think that, Dae. I’m sor—”

“Moving the fuck on,” Taehyung looks at Jeremy now. “Jeremy?! Oh my god, was it the girl you went out with last week? She is pretty hot, bro. Surprised you didn’t tell us in the group chat though!”

Jeremy glances around the table before reaching for his glass and chugging the remainder of his drink.

“I’m curious too actually.” You look over at Jeremy, “You didn’t say anything. And Naomi, who the hell did you sleep with? I’m so confused…have you been seeing someone? Wait!” You look at her shocked, “Did you meet someone and had a one night stand?!”

Naomi reaches for her glass as well and starts chugging.

“Is this…” Dae glances around the table, “Is this not obvious to everyone?”

“They aren’t the brightest here.” Jimin finally says something, mumbling at he sips his drink again.

“Jeremy, you slept with Mimi?” Hoseok pats his back, “You didn’t even tell us!”

“Mimi this, Mimi that.” Naomi mocks, “Hate to break it to you guys,” She lifts her head and looks at everyone, “But I just don’t think Jeremy is that into her.”

“Naomi, stop.” Jeremy warns, “We already—”

“We already what?” She rolls her eyes.

“You don’t even like the way I talk to girls! You think the ‘weird’ poetry shit I do is cringey!” Jeremy suddenly shouts, “You hate it!”

“I do think it is cringey!” Naomi shouts back, you all look at these two confused as hell. “But I don’t hate it, you dumbass.”

“You do hate it! You think it’s cringe??!?!”

“Yes, it’s literally the cringiest shit but I don’t hate it!”

“What the hell is happening?” You ask, looking at Hoseok and he’s just as confused as you.

“That doesn’t even make sense?!” Jeremy tells Naomi, “You’re driving me crazy!”

“It does make sense!” Naomi looks frustrated, “You know…okay, you know that weird ass shoulder dance y/n does?”

“Why are you bringing me into this?” You ask with a straight face.

“Yeah,” Jeremy nods, eyeing Naomi wondering where she is going with this. “It’s literally the worst thing I have ever seen.”

“Exactly! It’s so horrible and disgusting and so fucking—”

“Yeah, it’s absolutely cringe.” Hoseok adds his two cents.

“What the hell is happening?” You ask, “How did this become about me??”

“We always tell y/n we hate it and it’s so cringey but we laugh our asses off every time she does it and we know she’s always going to do it, right? We think it’s the worst thing we’ve ever seen but we love it, don’t we?” Naomi looks at Jeremy, “It’s the worst but we love it. We never want her to stop the stupid thing she does with her shoulders.”

Jeremy’s mouth falls open a little as he realizes what Naomi is saying, “Wait. Are you…”

“Your poetry is cringe Jeremy but I love it because it’s yours and it’s you and god, you’re so stupid.” Naomi stands from her chair, “I’m going to get another drink.”

“I’m coming with you.” Dae stands as well, “Suddenly I want to get black out drunk.”

“Wait, wait.” You stop the girls from leaving. “But who did you have sex with, Naomi??”

“Are you serious…” Dae shakes her head at you, “It’s so obvious girl, come on.”

“It’s really not?” You question, eyes going to Hoseok who is just as lost as you.

“Yeah, I don’t get it either.” Hoseok tells you guys, “Jimin and y/n, Me and …Dae…and uh, Jeremy with Mimi but who’s your person?”

“Ha!” Naomi rolls her eyes harder than ever, “Mimi! Yeah fucking right. He didn’t go home with Mimi last Friday. Did you Jeremy? He came to my place after their little date and I’m sure you guys can figure out the rest.”

“I’m literally…figure what out?” You look at Hoseok and he shrugs.

“Oh my god…” Jimin huffs out, “Jeremy went to Naomi’s place after his date and somehow ended up fucking Naomi.”

“What?” You blink at Jimin before you snort, Hoseok joining you immediately, “Yeah, there is no way.”

“You guys are so dense.” Dae deadpans. “It was in front of you guys this whole time.”

You and Hoseok are still laughing but when Jeremy and Naomi don’t say anything you guys start quieting down, confusion growing more and more.

“Wow.” Taehyung glances at Aeri, “You are never wrong about these things!”

Aeri starts laughing drunkenly, “I told you!”

“This is…I’m just going to go home and get drunk now.” Naomi groans, “Dae, you in?”

“Hell yeah, I will never say no to something like that.”

“y/n?” Naomi asks you as well but you’re still looking between here and Jeremy and wondering how you missed this.

“Uh,” You blink at her before your eyes find Jimin. “Actually, I’m going to stay for a bit.”

“Suit yourself.” Dae says, spinning in her spot to leave.

“Wait, Dae—” Hoseok stands from his chair but her and Naomi wave everyone off before they head out.

“This is crazy.” Jeremy mumbles, “Naomi…oh god.”

“So you fucked Naomi but then what?” Taehyung slurs.

“I uh, told her I didn’t mean to do that because we’re friends…good friends.” Jeremy looks down at the table, “Then she went on about how we are for sure just friends…so she obviously regretted it, right? Anyway, It’s been hell since.”

“Well,” Hoseok lips set into a straight line. “This week is suddenly making so much sense.”

“Okay, now to the pairing I am most curious about.” Taehyung shows you all a mischievous grin, “Jimin, care to explain how you sexed up our wonderful y/n?” He winks at you both, making Aeri giggle more.

Jimin sighs out, his hand sweeping through his hair as he stands. “It doesn’t matter. Doesn’t feel appropriate to talk about when she basically has a boyfriend.”

“But they aren’t tech—”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Jimin smiles at Taehyung. “She’s into him and going to take that next step!” And then he’s walking off towards the bar.

“Next st—”

“Jimin.” You stand too, walking after him.

“Oh.” Aeri sways into Taehyung’s side, “It’s just us now! Well, us and the guy who had sex with your sis—”

“LALALALA!”

“Jimin!” You call for the man, trying your best to catch up with him. He gets to the bar and you finally make it by his side, leaning against the bar top as you stare at his side profile. “Can you just tell me what is wrong?”

“Nothing.” He stares ahead but you aren’t buying it—obviously.

“Can you just…can you look at me?” Your hand goes to his shoulder and he tenses beneath your touch. “Jimin?”

He sighs out heavily before turning to face you, his eyes locking with yours when you decide you can easily read him but you don’t want to. You don’t want to read everything he is saying but he tells you anyway.

“This is a mistake, y/n.” He tells it to you straight.

“What is?”

“Namjoon.”

Yeah, you scoff at this because to be frank—it annoys you. It irks you that he isn’t supporting your decision about Namjoon. And you cannot figure out why 100%.

“Okay.” You brows pull up quickly before you relax them. “That’s cool.”

“It’s all for the wrong reasons and you know it.” The tone of his voice chooses to annoy you more than anything. “You aren’t in love with him.”

“I don’t need to be in love with him, I just need to like him. God, it does not have to be that deep.”

“You like him the same way you liked the pet fish you had your freshmen year.”

“Just stop,”

“No.”

“You’ve been cold to me because you don’t think I should date Namjoon? That seems immature.”

“It’s not…” Jimin’s eyes soften, “Maybe I am immature. But I am only telling you this because I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later…”

“So none of your reasons are selfish ones?” You snap, Jimin’s brows pulling together before he breaks his eye contact with you to stare at the floor. “I need this Jimin.”

“Need what?”

Yeah, need what? That’s a great question. You’re letting something take over you, something close to a frustration but you aren’t sure what. This feels like something is coming to the surface—something not even the voice in your head has spoken yet.

“How is it…” Your voice is cold towards him, “That you got to move on and experience love again but I never got to? How come you got to but I never did? What? You think me trying my hardest to have something new for myself is bad? Is a fucking mistake? Rich coming from someone who already got this chance.”

Jimin’s eyes rise to meet yours and it feels like a punch to the gut. His eyes are full of something close to pain yet he tries to smile.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He tells you quietly, softly even. “I shouldn’t be trying to…” He pauses, swallowing hard to calm himself. “You’ve made your decision. I don’t know if I don’t want you to be with Namjoon for selfish reasons or because I really do think you aren’t doing the right thing. Maybe it’s both.” He tries to smile a little more. “Yeah, it’s both.”

“W-What are your selfish reasons?” You find yourself asking but Jimin just scoffs to himself, smile still in place.

“You already know them.” He tells you simply. “The night we talked about what we did—the sex. We said the things we were going to discuss were, how it went, what it meant, why did we do it and what do we do now.”

“I remember.” You tilt your head, “What about it?”

“We knew how it went. We talked about why we did it and what we do now but neither of us had an answer for ‘what it meant’ and I didn’t tell you the truth. You said you didn’t know and I agreed. But I lied, y/n.” His smile is still in place and it makes you feel anxious. Especially because his eyes are void of any positive emotion.

“You lied?”

“Yeah,” He hums. “I know what it meant to me.”

“What…what did it mean to you, Jimin?”

“Why would I even need to tell you that when you’ve already made your decision, y/n?” His smile starts dropping. “I told you that you’re afraid of having a love again like what you had with me and you said ‘maybe’ but I think the thing you’re afraid of is me.” Jimin’s eyes bore into yours, his gaze so intense as they gloss over. “And,” He gulps. “I fucking get it. Because I,” He pauses, gaze still set on you as he tries to push down his emotions. “I am also so fucking afraid of you.”

#bts #park jimin #bts smut #jimin smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin angst #Kim namjoon #love again chapter 12

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absolutepokemontrash · 4 years ago

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The Brothers and Side Characters Go on a Road Trip!

So, Diavolo, Lord of the Devildom, wants to go on a road trip for reasons unknown. You know what? Screw it, the reason is because Dia wants to do a fun human thing because MC brought it up during tea time. No one can defy the king, so TIME FOR A ROAD TRIP!

Shut Up! HE DOESN’T NEED DIRECTIONS! (Lucifer)

He was going to turn that car around. That’s it, he was going to leave. Someone else drive.

I hope your MC likes staticky traffic updates because that’s what Lucifer constantly had on the radio.

Obviously, some of the brothers complained, so Lucifer put on Beethoven’s Symphony no. 9. HELL YEAH TURN IT UP DJ!

Lol JK no one can car-dance to classical music. Just go back to the staticky traffic updates…

Lucifer would have preferred it if MC or Barbatos were riding shotgun next to him, but Diavolo ended up getting it. Dia is constantly asking Lucifer to stop so he can take pictures of the most mundane shit.

Lucifer stopped stopping after the first fifteen requests.

“I’m not stopping at McDonalds- hang on. Hi McDonald’s employee, one black coffee please.”

In true father fashion, Lucifer got lost and REFUSED to ask for directions. They were lost for five hours before Diavolo finally asked:

“Lucifer, you can turn on the GPS right?”

“Yes, but I don’t trust it.”

Everyone screamed in frustration and were all fully prepared to abandon Lucifer at the side of the road.

Please… can someone else drive? Anyone else…

Are We There Yeeeet..? (Mammon)

Okay, so, Mammon was one of two ways on that road trip. One: complete ADHD daydream zoned out. Or type Two: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEE WEEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEERRRRRREEEE YEEEEEEET???!

He wanted to stop and go to all the tourist traps, by the end of the road trip Mammon wanted to open his own.

The Avatar of Greed loves driving, problem is, he’s used to driving off into the sunset as a lone bachelor, not with his friends and brothers in the car as well.

He only got to drive once, and it was awful. 0/10 would not recommend. Luke thought MC was driving and called shotgun…

Mammon just turns on the radio for music and hopes something good is on at least ONE channel.

STOP WEAVING BETWEEN LANES YOU MORON-

Not all of Mammon’s time driving was bad, the combined powers of Luke and Mammon meant that everyone stopped at a petting zoo at the side of the road. Everyone had a good time, even though when they got back into the car they all smelled like a farm.

Did anyone else hear that oinking in the car-

*Vibes to Music in the Backseat* (Levi)

After being cruelly dragged from his room and placed in this stupid van… he just climbed into the backseat and put on his headphones.

Maybe anime openings could drown out this problem…

Levi only drove for fifteen minutes, it was the most terrifying fifteen minutes of everyone’s lives.

Mario Kart is not a substitute for proper driving school!

Listen- Levi actually saved the entire trip, after stopping at a gas station everyone noticed that Levi never complained about what was on the radio because he was wearing headphones, so everyone bought their own pair and the car trip was so much more pleasant…

No matter how many times Lucifer told Levi to get his feet off the seat, he wouldn’t listen, he was GAMING and they took him away from his gaming chair! HE NEEDED TO SCRUNCH HIMSELF UP LIKE A GOBLIN TO FOCUS DAMMIT!

Whenever the car would stop so everyone could get out and take a picture or look at something, Levi had to be practically dragged out of the car and manually posed for the pictures.

“Is this one of those vans with TVs in them? I brought the first five volumes of TSL on DVD!”

While Satan was driving they stopped at a lake, and Levi burst out of the car and made friends with all the lake fish.

He was still soaking wet when they had to leave.

I’m a Responsible Driver- IS THAT AN OLD BOOKSTORE?! (Satan)

Satan, we believed in you…

Our favourite nerd wanted to stop at any and all historical spots or cool looking bookstores he saw.

When everyone went to buy headphones, he got a pair with cat-ears on them! Because obviously!

Satan’s a responsible driver, and he’s not as prone to road rage as one might think. He has patience, remember in the Jobs event when he worked in customer service? Those kinds of jobs take a godlike amount of self control to do.

Asmo called shotgun and Satan got to have the wonderful experience of having his ear chatted off by his dear brother.

Satan was not about to have fast food for the eighth time in four days, if everyone wanted food, he’d stop at a restaurant.

He was terribly sorry to anyone who needed to use the restroom, but they should have gone at the last rest stop.

When Satan stopped at the lake, he gave everyone a long lecture on the historical significance of the place, then noticed that Levi was being crowned king of the lake and decided he should cut his history lesson short before Levi abandoned his family to chill with the fish forever.

I wanted Satan to be the normal chill one with the radio… I really did… but deep in my subconscious I feel like Satan would put on one of those language learning DVDs so he can learn another language on the go like a total dork.

Road Rage (Asmodeus)

No one saw this coming but- Asmo gets some B A D road rage. Someone cuts him off? “Hi hello dear, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS?!” Someone doesn’t use a turn signal? “YOU BRAIN DEAD MORON! LEARN TO DRIVE!” Someone just pisses him off? “*prolonged horn sound*”

It’s just… the car trip was so taxing on the poor Avatar of Lust… he was crammed into the middle seat for the majority of the trip… he had to give his sleeping mask to Belphie… Beel was getting crumbs all over him and he couldn’t move over… just so tragic…

Solomon called shotgun and it was the greatest couple of hours of his life. He got a front row seat to Lucifer and Barbatos dragging Asmo back into the car because he tried to pick a fight with another driver.

Asmo wasn’t having a good time…

He didn’t want to stop for any gas station food or go through a drive-thru so it was another expensive restaurant trip. Rest In Peace to the gang’s wallets.

When he wasn’t driving, Asmo was loudly talking with MC or talking on the phone. It was a blessing in disguise when they went through an area with bad phone reception and Asmo finally had to shut up.

Oh well… at least he got a few nice pictures for Devilgram.

MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! (Beel)

We all know Beel is massive, right? His head is touching the ceiling and every speed-bump hurt.

He’s the one begging to stop at every gas station or fast food place they pass by.

Beel’s section in the car was covered in empty bags of Doritos by the end of the trip.

When Beel got to drive, Belphie got shotgun! Hell yeah dream team!

Poor Beel, he got distracted and ended up somehow popping a tire. He pulled over next to a farm, changed the tire, then got back in the car and kept driving.

Uh… there was an awful lack of snoring next to Beel- OH FUCK THEY LEFT BELPHIE!

Belphie was found sleeping next to the cows on the farm they had stopped at earlier.

The cows didn’t want to give their sleepy god up so easily…

After that… Beel didn’t want to drive anymore…

“Look, cows.” (Belphie)

I really need to stop with the cow jokes but I CAN’T

*snore*

Belphie’s crammed between Beel and MC for most of the trip and is probably drooling all over poor MC’s lap or shoulder.

Beware, he jolts up randomly and looks around in a panic before he realizes he’s in a car. This happens every three hours.

Belphie’s not allowed to drive, he’d fall asleep. But when Lucifer takes the wheel and puts on that fucking staticky radio, Belphie forms an idea.

“*ahem* four thousand bottles of beer on the wall, four thousand bottles of beer,”

Mission success, Lucifer wanted to tear his hair out.

Belphie ended up asking to stop when they get to a stretch of road with no streetlights, everyone got out of the and stared at the stars.

…listen, it’s a miracle no one got axe murdered but the stars were gorgeous.

Remember when I said Satan put on those language learning DVDs? Yeah uh…. Belphie woke up from his last nap of the trip almost fully fluent in Spanish. At least one person gained a new skill on this trip…

Oooo, Look at Thaaaaat! (Diavolo)

Even though the side characters were in a different car most of the time, sometimes people would switch to the other car if they met up at a gas station.

By the end of the road trip Dia looked like one of those tourist dads, Hawaiian shirt and all.

Dia can’t drive

He’s absorbing human culture… and human culture involves ordering everything at this random Wendy’s.

Diavolo’s camera roll is so unbelievably full by the end of the trip and he refuses to delete ANY of the pictures.

Most of the pictures are of really weird and boring stuff, like traffic signs and trees, but the picture he ends up printing out and putting in a picture frame is a picture of the whole group at the petting zoo having a grand old time.

He wanted to take home a baby goat but Barbatos said that wasn’t a good idea :(

Help. (Barbatos)

So, it could have been worse for Barbatos, he could have been stuck in the car with the brothers and MC.

Dia always had the seat up front, but when he left the car to go hang out with the dude-squad, Solomon got the passenger seat.

Solomon decided it would be a good idea to pester Barbatos to go faster and take weird shortcuts through (probably not legal) backroads and creepy forest paths.

Good thing Barbatos, Luke, and Simeon had functioning brain cells and knew that’s how horror movies began.

Barbatos stopped for fast food once and only once. It’s not healthy!

He’s the only driver to take suggestions for music, meaning that the side characters’ car was the best one of the two.

“SOMEONE GET THE BARF BAG!”(Simeon)

He’s just… he’s just trying his best not to vomit…

Simeon thought the car would be a good place to get some writing done while they drove down long stretches of road. Simeon was wrong in that assumption.

With his head down way too much while the car zoomed down the highway, Simeon felt himself getting *very* sick about four hours in.

He was worried he may have accidentally eaten something of Solomon’s… but nope. The angel was carsick.

Luke had the important job of patting Simeon on the back as he leaned over the barf-bag while Solomon dry heaved up front.

Hurry and open the windows before Solomon barfs too!!!!

Other than the car sickness, he had the job of making sure Luke was entertained, there was a good hour of eye-spy until they just got to a stretch of forest.

After that, Simeon realized that he could just give Luke free permission to ramble about whatever he wanted and that would keep the little guy entertained for HOURS.

What do You Mean I Can’t Legally Make This Turn?! (Solomon)

Shifty bastard can drive, problem is, he doesn’t care about the laws of the road.

He ended up getting pulled over after breaking approximately 11 traffic laws in less than ten minutes.

“License and registration.” “Yeah yeah yeah…” “…sir, this license expired in 1989.” “…shit.”

Solomon gunned it and managed to use his magic to hide the car and evade the very confused traffic cop.

Luke was completely aghast at the flagrant law breaking, but Solomon’s excuse was that the 80s were a lawless wasteland and he completely forgot he legally had to update his license.

He’s an equally obnoxious passenger as he is driver, but at least no one in the car is bored.

“You know, back in the day cars didn’t have seatbelts.” “Solomon put your seatbelt back on.”

…Can we keep it? (Luke)

He was against this from the start. A road trip? With those nasty demons? No! Never!

Okay fine… maybe he wanted to see some more of the human world… he agreed to go.

After helping Simeon through his car sickness, he misheard the other car say that MC would be driving, and Luke wanted to hang out with his third parent 🥺

That’s how he ended up riding shotgun next to Mammon. It started out rough, but when the two spotted the petting zoo it was all sunshine and rainbows.

Luke made friends with all the animals! He was like a little Disney Prince. He got especially attached to this one piglet, it was a surprise to Simeon that the goodbye wasn’t tearful.

Luke smuggled that piglet out of the petting zoo and they were all over fifty miles away before anyone noticed.

Of course, everyone was just shocked that Luke had stolen something, but he looked so cute holding the little piggy… awwww…

The bros obviously joked that Luke had gone to the dark side and was totally evil because he had taken the pig, much to the poor kid’s dismay.

Simeon tried to convince Luke that he needed to return the piglet but Luke was adamant that he could totally take good care of it.

Welp, time for Lucifer to fix this.

“Luke, you need to go put the pig back, it’s not yours.”

“No! I’ll take good care of it!”

“That doesn’t matter, you stole it. It’s not your property, do you want to end up a scummy thief like Mammon?”

“No not at all. Let’s go return the pig.”

“THAT’S ALL IT TOOK?!”

#Obey me #Obey me!#Obey me Headcanons #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date?#Obey me Lucifer #Obey me Luke #Obey me Simeon #Obey me Diavolo #Obey me Solomon #Obey me Barbatos #Obey me Mammon #Obey me Leviathan #Obey me Belphegor #Obey me Beelzebub #Obey me Asmodeus #Obey me Satan

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jenohi · 4 years ago

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stranger

PAIRING ▸ Watanabe Haruto x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ pining, high school au, lacrosse au, I’m not really sure what genre this is lol

WARNINGS ▸ traumatic events?

SUMMARY ▸ When Haruto moves halfway around the world the last person he expects to see is you. His former nemesis...or so he thinks.

PLAYLIST ▸ Still Don’t Know My Name by Labyrinth

WORD COUNT ▸ 9626

UNIVERSE ▸ YG High; Treasure Lacrosse Team

A/N ▸ I’ve decided from here on out all my stories will probably fall within the same universe. I only really have like 4 universes in mind so I’ll label them just so you know. Also, I’m looking to add some art to my stories to bring them more to life but I am useless at graphics/edits, so! If you’re really into making graphics/edits and you enjoy my work please please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I would love to work with an amazing artist! <3 <3 Plz enjoy.

A/N 2 ▸ This story is like a lot of crossover with Jeongwoo’s story but I hope I was able to bring justice to Haruto’s character and bring his story to life. :P ok now enjoy for real realz.

You were the prettiest girl Haruto had ever known in his life. But to him, you were also his rival. You always managed to score just a few points higher than him on each exam, each quiz, each assignment. To him it always felt like the teachers liked you more, so he made sure your classmates liked him more. The thing that made him really mad was that you were so unbothered. You were ambivalent to him and you didn’t even know his name. If you really were strangers and never sat in the same class he could understand. But you had been in the same classes for years. Each time you spoke to him, you politely asked for his name. As if you were strangers.

When his parents told him that his family was going to move to another city, far enough that he would have to transfer schools, he had mixed feelings. This was his last chance to confront you. To understand why you’d never bothered to remember his name, but each time he approached you he found you furiously scribbling in a notebook. Although he resented you for not knowing his name, he could never get himself to disturb you when you looked so stressed scribbling whatever it was in your notebook.

What Haruto didn’t know is that you did notice him. You noticed the handsome, tall, skinny boy that was always in the corner of your line of sight. But you had no idea what to say to him. So you never approached him. He was a stranger.

Haruto wished he could forget you. He was a bit uncomfortable transferring to a new school at first but thankfully, three other boys had transferred with him. Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoshi had become literal brothers to him. The school also had a transfer students program and he made a new friend, Hanbyul. She was a chatterbox and sometimes she could literally chat his ear off, but she was also sweet and helpful. But she wasn’t you.

But that didn’t matter because Hanbyul had another guy on her mind all the time anyway. “You know we’ve just been friends for such a long time and lately, I’ve started to...I don’t know. I feel different. Nervous. Is it normal to feel nervous around your best friend?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” Haruto responded.

“No, I suppose it isn’t. But he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I doubt he’s ever even thought about me in that way.”

Haruto felt someone nudge him, he turned to see that it was Asahi. Haruto leaned over to hear what he was going to say. “Is she talking about Jaehyuk’s brother?”

Haruto nodded.

“Jaehyuk talks about his little brother and this chick all the time. She’s so off the mark. The little brother definitely has feelings for her if Jaehyuk is anywhere near the mark.” So both parties had feelings for one another but both parties were too chicken to say anything to each other. And for no good reason.

In a way that reminded Haruto of himself and it pissed him off. He knew that spending so much time with his new friend would raise suspicions but he didn’t care. He knew that spending so much time with her pissed Jeongwoo off. It didn’t take a genius to recognize it when they went to the Big Bang Concert together.

Haruto thought he was going crazy when he spotted you a few spaces over at the concert. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to make sure it was really you. Haruto stormed over to you once he decided that it was in fact you. He had spent months thinking about what to say to you if he ever saw you again, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Haruto didn’t even think to tell his new friends where he had gone.

You saw a tall, handsome figure approaching your direction. You took a second to check him out, but then turned back to the performers and continued to enjoy yourself. Your parents were reluctant to let you go out to this concert on your own but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you wanted so badly. You smiled sadly at what might happen when you woke up tomorrow.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of Big Bang.” You heard a voice from behind speak into your ear. You jumped in surprise and turned around to see that it was the handsome stranger you saw sauntering your way earlier.

“Hi, what’s your name?” You asked with a polite smile on your face. This is probably exactly what your parents were worried about, creepy men that would try to approach you. You started to think about the best way to remove yourself from the situation safely. The now unamused expression on his face alarmed you.

“When are you gonna cut the shit. You know who I am.”

You looked at him puzzled. “I do? How? From where?”

Haruto felt something in his chest crack. “I used to go to school with you. You’re Y/N right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You furiously racked your mind trying to remember what you had read but your memory came up blank. You couldn’t help but cringe and turn away. This is why you tried your best to keep to yourself and away from people. You looked up to see Haruto staring down at you with a curious expression. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You said you used to go to school with me? You don’t go to school with me anymore? Can I get your name again? I’m really sorry. I’ll try and remember.”

“My name is Haruto. I don’t go to school with you anymore. I transferred to a new school a few months ago.”

“Oh, I see.”

Haruto wasn’t sure how to feel when he realized you actually had zero recollection of him. For some reason seeing you up close and seeing you really trying to remember him made him feel a bit sympathetic. He couldn’t understand why. It still totally irked him that you didn’t know his name. But something told him to sit down with you and get to know you.

“Well, do you like your new school?” You asked, looking up at Haruto. Your heart was beating hard and fast. You prayed that your face wasn’t flushing.

“Why don’t we just enjoy the rest of the concert for now and we can grab a late night meal after the concert?” Haruto proposed. His own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating fast.

You thought about it for a second, then nodded and smiled. Haruto felt like the world had a glittery filter for a second. He’d always acknowledged that you were attractive, but up close smiling at him, you were drop dead gorgeous.

“Awesome.”

After the concert, the two of you walked side by side as you left the crowded venue. You noticed Haruto took a second to text someone on his phone. He caught you snooping and laughed as you turned away. “It’s fine. I was just letting the friends I came with know that I was gonna head out with you.”

“Oh, if you need to get back with them it’s fine.” You said, maybe hanging out with Haruto was a bad idea after all.

“Not a chance, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m honestly curious to know how you are and how things are back home.”

Your face flushed at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you had spent time with a guy like this. Was this a date?

“Alright. Then what are you in the mood for?” You asked, pulling up a list of restaurants that were still open at this hour.

“What’s available now? What are you in the mood for right now?” Haruto looked over your shoulder at the menu as he asked.

“Um, what about McDonald’s? I’m not that picky and there’s not that much open right now.” you said.

Haruto stared at you with wide eyes, were you always this cool? So the two of you made your way to the closest McDonald’s and debated which was better, Coke or Sprite. To Haruto, Coca-Cola was non-negotiable.

“How is your new school?” You asked Haruto, munching on a few of your fries. “Do you like it?”

“What are you doing here?” Haruto interjected.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not in Japan. This is far from home. Why are you in America?”

“Oh, I’m uh- I’m visiting family. I’ve actually transferred to a school around here for the time-being as well.” You jumped in surprise when Haruto shrieked.

“You’re here now? Like for good? Like you go to school here? Where?”

You giggled at the questions he rained down on you. The way he asked you with his cheeks full and eyes wide was rather endearing. “Yes I’m here now. I’m actually, uh, home schooled for the time being.”

“Oh, interesting. Why are you homeschooled? I remember you were always really good at school.” Haruto said before he shoved another chicken nugget into his mouth. The irritating thought that you were always better than him at school, just by a little popped up in his mind but he pushed it away. That didn’t matter anymore. He had your attention now.

You felt your face flush. Even with your condition it was true that you maintained your good grades. So Haruto must have actually known you back in Japan. You eyed him again, when he caught you staring at him you turned away. Haruto smirked.

“Enough about me. Tell me about your friends. You said you came with friends from your new school right?”

“Well I’d say one of them is actually who I’d consider a friend. The other one is a mutual friend. A childhood friend that has feelings for her.”

“Her?” it slipped out of your mouth. Haruto’s smirk reappeared and his eyebrow jumped up when he looked at you. You looked away, what was this funny feeling in your chest? It was weird.

“Our school had this transfer student program and she just happened to be assigned to me. She’s really cool, I’m not into her like that and she’s not really into me like that. She likes her friend.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me.”

“Oh. That feels like something important. Like a secret.”

“Well, I told her a secret as well.”

You stared at him. He didn’t indulge in the secret. Haruto was wholly focused on sipping the last of his Coca-Cola before putting it down on the table and letting out a sigh.

“Well so what’s going on with them now?” You asked.

“Hopefully, they both pull their heads out of their asses tonight. I gave them time alone so the best case scenario is that they just talk it out. The dude, Jeongwoo, I actually met him for the first time tonight and he’s a cool dude. It would be nice to have more dude friends around here.”

“You don’t have any guy friends?”

“I do. There are 3 other transfer students from Japan and they’re all dudes and I’m friends with them. Actually, Americans like to play this sport. Lacrosse? My friend told me to try out for the team and I think I might. Mashi, Asahi, and Yoshi agreed to try-out as well so it’ll be fun.”

You nodded, you had no idea what lacrosse was and you didn’t think you would be that interested to learn either. “I should get home.”

“Right of course.” Haruto said, getting up. “Where are you headed? Let me call you an Uber.”

“No, it’s okay. I can actually walk back home from here.”

“Oh really? Well, at least let me walk you back.”

You hesitated for a second. Would it be smart to show this guy where you lived? But then you shook it off, he seemed pretty harmless throughout the night and you trusted that he knew you from school in Japan. So you agreed.

“Do you have to be home-schooled?” Haruto asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” you answered.

“Would you be interested in attending school in person again?” Haruto could feel the devil on his shoulder kicking him. What was he doing? He had already gone to school with you before and the fact that you always did just a smidge better than him drove him nuts.

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”

“You should consider transferring to my school?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”

Haruto stepped back a bit and raised his hands. “It was just a suggestion. Honestly, I struggled a bit when I first came here. I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be here and just be home-schooled so I figured it might be nice to have some sense of community.”

“Um, I’ll think about it.” You weren’t going to think about it. You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the familiar apartment complex. “This is me. You don’t have to walk in with me. I’m gonna go now.”

“Wait.” Haruto said. You turned around to look at him, a thin smile on your face. “I, uh, I had fun.”

“Yeah, this was nice.” You said truthfully.

“We should do it again sometime.” Haruto said. You stared at him, he looked perfectly composed to you. But his heart was practically beating so hard he thought it might fall out of his chest.

“Honestly, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Haruto felt a heat and anger flare up in his chest. But he did his best to tamp it down and get it under control. This was literally the first time you had acknowledged his presence. He put a smile on his face. “Well, then maybe we’ll just run into each other again sometime.”

“Maybe, it’s all up to fate now. Good night Haruto.”

“Good night Y/N.”

The second you made it back into your room you pulled out your diary. You scribbled the notes you had logged into your phone throughout the day as quickly as possible. Briefly reliving each moment as you wrote them down. By the time you had gotten to the end of the list and began to recount the concert you could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and your hands writing more and more frantically until suddenly, you crashed.

The next morning you woke up and read your notes. You squinted at the last thing you had written. Your handwriting became illegible near the end. ‘Haruto?’

The next morning Haruto woke up and smiled at the memory of you. Asahi and Mashiho eyed their roommate as he pranced around the living room and kitchen smiling and singing. But nothing could bring Haruto down. Well until he saw his friend looking depressed as hell.

“Dude what’s up?” Haruto asked. “Did you and Jeongwoo figure your shit out?”

“Uh, about that. Well, no.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“Well what about you? Did you run into her?”

“Nuh uh, this isn’t about me. You literally had the perfect opportunity to make something of it. To make a moment! Did you guys have a moment?”

“Yes, I think we did. But I got scared. I don’t want to lose Jeongwoo as a friend, but at the same time I don’t think he has any feelings for me like that. I just, I think I need space. Maybe if I just distance myself from him a bit then I can get over my feelings and…”

“No offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Well I don’t care if you think it’s stupid. This is my decision and my decision is that I don’t want to see Jeongwoo for awhile. Ok? I’m not ready for the conversation. So you better get used to seeing me more often!”

Haruto sighed as he watched his friend storm out of the room. He turned around and exchanged looks with Asahi. “Did I say something wrong?”

Asahi shrugged. “Honestly, I think you’re valid. I think her logic in avoiding Jeongwoo is pretty dumb. The dude’s in my gym class. Honestly, he’s chill. I don’t think he’d react badly to her if she confesses regardless of how he feels.”

“I should probably find her and apologize anyway.” Haruto said, exiting the room. Eventually he found his friend and they sat together in the cafeteria.

“Sorry about what I said earlier. I’ll admit it was kind of harsh. But honestly I can’t say I understand your logic at all.”

“It’s fine Haruto. You seemed extra happy when you walked in this morning. Who was the friend that you saw at the concert?”

“It was her. Y/N.”

“No way! Isn’t she in Japan?”

“That’s what I thought too. I was so shocked to see her.”

“What did you say to her? What did you guys talk about? Did she recognize you?”

“That’s the thing. The best part of it all was that I actually had her attention. You remember I told you about how she never acknowledged anybody right? She was always reading her notebook in the hallway. In the past when I spoke to her she never even knew my name! She had to ask me every single time. But this time, there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me!”

“Your relationship is weird. But I guess that’s sweet. What does she write about in her notebook?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter? She knows my name now!”

“That’s another thing. You went to school together for years and she never remembered your name? Why?”

“I don’t know.” Haruto said. Now he was grouchy. All the questions that had been brought up to him were valid, but these weren’t things he wanted to think about.

A few weeks before the lacrosse tryouts in the spring Haruto went to the hospital to get a physical done.

Once he was done he stumbled into a small cafe right next to the hospital. When he saw who was manning the cash register he rubbed his eyes and looked away and looked back a few times to make sure he wasn’t being deluded. When he was confident that he wasn’t going crazy he stood up and walked over to the register.

You saw a tall, handsome, and skinny guy walk up to the cash register. You cleared your throat and stood up straight. “Hello, what can I get you?”

“Y/N! It’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Again?” You put a smile on your face and thought of a response. “Hey, it’s so good to see you! How have you been? What’ll you have?”

“Do you...remember my name?”

You felt your heart picking up speed and your palms beginning to sweat. But you kept your composure. “Of course, let me take your order and we can chat for a second.”

Haruto beamed. “Okay, then I’ll just have an Iced Americano.”

“Okay, that’ll be $3.30. The ice machine is in the back so I’ll be right out in a second. You rushed to the back of the cafe and pulled out your diary and flipped through the pages, reading the entries as quickly as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a torn piece of paper that had slipped out of your bag. You picked it up, it matched the paper in your diary. You flipped it over to see that it had a name written on it. Haruto.

Was that this guy’s name? Who was he to you? Darn it, why hadn’t you written more?

You quickly filled the cup with ice and walked out filling the cup with cold brew. You grabbed the marker and scribbled Haruto on it. You walked back over to the cash register. This guy’s eyes were practically glittering in anticipation. Was it normal for someone to get this excited over a coffee?

“I’ve got one iced americano for Haruto?” you said.

If his eyes were glittering before, they were practically flashing light strobe lights at a nightclub now. A matching beaming grin on his face. “Yes! Y/N it’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Right. Yeah, of course. What are the odds.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Um, I’m working right now. I’d rather not get in trouble. Maybe another time?”

Haruto swiveled around, eying the cafe. “It looks pretty empty to me. I don’t think you’d get in trouble if you came out for a second just to keep me company.”

“Still…”

“Is your manager even here right now?”

“No.”

“Then come on. Just come out for a second.”

You looked around the cafe, cursing at how vacant it was. You tugged at your sleeves for a second before answering. “Fine.”

You followed Haruto out from behind the counter. He walked over to a table and pulled a seat out from underneath the table. He smiled as he waited for you to sit down. You walked over to the table and turned around. Haruto slid the chair underneath you as you moved to sit down. Once you were seated Haruto ran around to the other side of the table and sat down.

“How are you? How have you been?” Haruto asked.

You stared at the boy sitting in front of you. He was so handsome. “I’m doing well. How about you?”

“I’m good. I was in the area because I needed to go to the hospital.”

Your ears perked up. “Why were you at the hospital?”

“Why do you wanna know? Are you worried about me?”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Haruto. Haruto cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “I’m just playing with you. I went to get a physical.”

You nodded, tracing the patterns on the tablecloth.

“I needed one for lacrosse tryouts.”

“Lacrosse? What is that?” you asked. Haruto thought the way your nose scrunched in confusion was adorable.

“I told you about it last time! Remember? It’s this sport that Americans like to play. I had never heard of it in Japan either.”

You didn’t remember. “Right.”

Haruto couldn’t understand the dynamics of the conversation. He watched as you avoided eye contact with him and intensely focused on tracing the pattern of the table cloth. Then you would stare out the window of the cafe, it almost appeared as if your eyes were glazed over. “What are you always writing about in your notebook?”

Your head spun over to look at him so fast, you thought you might have gotten whiplash. “What?”

“Your notebook. I remember in school back in Japan I always saw you either writing things down in a notebook or reading the same notebook. What’s in it?”

“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why? It can’t be that bad. I promise I won’t laugh no matter how embarrassing it might be.” Haruto said. Leaning forward over the table so that he was in your face.

“Forget it.” You said, leaning back and looking away. You glanced over at your bag that was perched far back behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. “Look. I gotta go. I’m supposed to be working right now. I think you should go now as well.”

You stood up from the table so quickly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over. You didn’t bother to turn around and pick it up. You walked back towards the counter without looking back.

Haruto watched you as you walked away. He narrowed his eyes when he saw you grab your bag and walk to the back of the cafe. There was only one thing on his mind as he walked out of the cafe. Your notebook. What was in the notebook?

You frantically flipped to today’s page in your notebook. In all caps with your boldest, darkest black marker you wrote at the top of your notebook. ‘Beware of Haruto. Tall, Handsome. Asked about notebook.’

Then you shut the notebook and exited the back room, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed that the cafe was vacant once again. You walked over to the cafe table where you had previously sat and picked up the chair that had fallen over when you had left the conversation.

The next day at school Haruto was deep in thought. What could possibly be so important about a notebook? When Hanbyul shoved him, Haruto shrieked as he fell out of his chair. “Dude, what the hell is your problem?”

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re thinking so hard that your brain might break.”

“Do you have an important notebook? Is that like something girls do?”

“You mean like a diary?”

Haruto snapped his fingers and looked up. “Yes! Exactly like one of those. Do you have one of those?”

“I did when I was younger. I don’t keep one anymore though. Why do you ask?”

“My friend. The one from home, Y/N? I think she has one. I asked her about it yesterday and she got all dodgy and weird.”

“Ah, well. Back when I did keep a diary it held all my dirtiest secrets. I don’t think I would want to share it with anybody or for anybody to know about it. Not even now, and as an elementary schooler I really don’t think I had any secrets worth keeping.”

“It was so weird. She got so defensive over it. I didn’t realize bringing it up would be such a touchy subject.”

Hanbyul shrugged. “Different things matter to different people. Are you ready for tryouts? They’re coming up soon aren’t they?”

Haruto nodded. “Asahi, Mashiho, Yoshi, and I have started going to that gym that you recommended. Lacrosse is actually pretty fun. Mashiho is the best though. Are you coming to tryouts?”

“Of course I am. I’m practically making you go so it’s only fair that I be there to see how you do. I reserve the right to totally make fun of you if you embarrass yourself though.”

Haruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Soon enough it was the first day of lacrosse tryouts. Haruto had frequented the cafe that you worked at in hopes of getting the chance to speak to you again. Unfortunately, what he didn’t know was that you had quit the job and diligently stayed home and studied.

Haruto was agitated at the thought of not being able to speak to you again. When he tried to sit down and rationalize it himself he couldn’t make sense of it. A year ago he despised you for not knowing his name. You know his name now, right? What more did he want from you?

“Haruto? Haruto! Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Haruto turned to look at Hanbyul. “Honestly no, sorry. What’s up?”

“I feel bad for how I treated Jeongwoo. You were right, avoiding him was not the right thing to do. But why hasn’t he said anything to me?”

“Look I can’t tell you what’s going on between the two of you any better than you can. My assumption is that he’s a bit hurt and confused at the moment by how you’re acting and he doesn’t want to make things any worse than they are.”

“Can’t you say something to him?”

“Me?” Haruto looked up from his stick that he was re-taping. “What do you want me to say to him?”

“I don’t know. Just...just get him to react.”

Haruto scoffed. “If you want me to do that I can but again I feel like it’s not going to produce the results that you want. Like I think if I say anything things are gonna go really sour so I think you should think long and hard about this.”

“Haruto!”

“Look, I gotta go. Tryouts are starting.” Haruto said, turning away and walking onto the field. He didn’t miss the hard stare coming his way from Jeongwoo. Haruto ignored them and focused on his gameplay. Lacrosse had actually become really cathartic for him and he found that he really wanted to make the team.

Haruto noticed that the coaches seemed to be reacting favorably to how he was playing. He also realized that Jeongwoo was also really good but he played really aggressively, like he had something to lose. At the end of practice Haruto figured his hunches must have been correct because the coaches called him over to speak with him.

“I’m sure you know Varsity tryouts were this morning, all of your friends from Japan did great as did you and so we’re thinking about pulling you up to varsity. So tomorrow I want you to come early and try out with the varsity team, alright?”

Haruto beamed and nodded.

“Good work son.” The coach slapped Haruto on the shoulder. He did his best not to fall over. Thankfully the coach didn’t notice.

Haruto walked off the field and headed towards the school parking lot. Just as he pulled his phone out to call someone for a ride home his phone pinged, he tapped on the notification to see that it was a message from Mashiho.

Mashiho: Haruto have JV tryouts ended?

Haruto: Yes, I just finished

Mashiho: Cool. Have you found a ride home yet?

Haruto: No, do you know anyone who can come get me?

Mashiho: Ya, a lot of the guys on varsity can drive. Junkyu is over now but he offered to come pick you up.

Haruto: Junkyu?

Mashiho: He’s trying out for the varsity team. He’s cool. Kinda goofy but cool. I’ll come by with him.

Haruto: Alright, thanks dude.

Mashiho: Np.

Haruto checked the time on his phone before putting it back into his pocket. 6 P.M. Would you be at the cafe? The last few times he had gone by he hadn’t seen you. He put the thought away when a car appeared in front of him. The window rolled down and Mashiho cheered when he saw Haruto. “Get in the car! You smell!”

“Shut up and unlock the door Mashi.” The car door clicked open and Haruto hopped into the backseat. There was a large dude sitting in the driver’s seat who kept fidgeting with a bunch of random controls.

The guy turned around with a giant grin on his face. “Hello! I’m Junkyu. You must be Haruto! Nice to meet you!”

Haruto bowed. “Hello. Yes, I am Haruto. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Ruto! How were tryouts?”

“They were really good. Coach pulled me over at the end of tryouts and told me to come early tomorrow morning and try out with the varsity team.”

“Damn! You must be so good!” Junkyu said from the driver’s seat. Haruto tried not to be concerned by the way Junkyu was driving. His head kept swiveling from left to right. “Did you guys play sports back in Japan? All of you were insane at tryouts today!”

“We all played football. I think Mashi and Yoshi played basketball as well.”

“Football? Do you mean football football or soccer football?”

“Eh?”

“Do you kick a ball or do you carry a ball?”

“You kick it. Duh. Why would you carry a ball? That’s just dumb.”

“Americans call a totally different sport football. Don’t worry about it too much. But it’s awesome that you guys are so good.”

“Well to be fair, we were told about that Lacrosse Club and we had a few training sessions every week leading up to try outs.” Mashiho said.

“Ahh! How’d you hear about that? A few of us have been playing on their club teams for a while.”

“My friend told me about it. She’s the person responsible for me in the foreign exchange students program. Hanbyul?”

“Oh! I know who you’re talking about. Her brother was a legend at this school. He was a top recruit since his sophomore year here. But right before the most important game of his senior year he tested positive on a drug test and he couldn’t play. It totally turned him, his team, and the school around. He got dropped by the college that was recruiting him. But I heard he struck a deal with a pro-team and I guess he’s been training with them. The dude was in a league of his own.”

“Damn. That’s insane.”

“Yeah, our school takes lacrosse pretty seriously. The best players at our school get recruited to some of the best schools so it’s a great opportunity.”

Haruto knew there were probably more important things to be thinking about in this conversation but he couldn’t help but wonder if he could get you to come to one of his games.

The second day of tryouts Haruto was absolutely on fire. His shorts were shart, his passes were quick, and his steps were light. The varsity team was definitely of a different caliber but Haruto found the challenge fun. It was nice to be able to play with the rest of the Japanese boys as well.

At the end of varsity tryouts the coach pulled him over, “you were great out there today. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling alright coach.”

“Up for a few more hours?”

Haruto paused, but then nodded. He wasn’t in a place to argue with his coaches. “Sure.”

“Great. Then I want you to continue through JV tryouts. Grab some water and then head back out onto the field.”

“Alright coach.”

Haruto jogged out to the edge of the field. He was surprised to see Hanbyul sitting at the edge of the bleachers. “What’s up?”

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to watch your second day of tryouts.”

“Are you sure you’re here to watch me?”

“Shut up. Why are you all sweaty already?”

“Coach had me try out with the varsity team today.”

Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Dang, you must be awesome. The last two boys that made it onto the varsity team as sophomores were my brother and his best friend Bobby.”

Haruto shrugged. “The game is fun. It would be awesome to play on varsity.”

The coach blew his whistle, signalling all the players to come back out onto the field. Haruto turned around and gathered around. Every so often throughout the day Haruto ran back to the bleachers where Hanbyul sat. His bag was stowed away there as was his secret stash of Coca-Cola. It probably wasn’t smart to be drinking Coke in the middle of tryouts but every so often he needed a pick-me-up.

“You need to quash that habit.”

“Yeah yeah.”

At the end of the day the coach told Haruto to wait for him inside his office. So Haruto did just that.

“So what’d you think about tryouts today?” Coach asked.

“It was intense.”

“Yeah, what did you think of the way the varsity team played?”

“They were quicker, sharper, and more nimble.”

“Good observation. Do you think you were good enough to play on their level?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then answer me another question. If you had to pick another player from the JV tryouts today to pull up to Varsity who would you pick?”

Haruto thought about it for a second. The answer was obvious. The only other person who seemed to put up a fight with him was “Jeongwoo.”

“Good guess.” The coach laughed. “I don’t know what they feed you kids in Japan. But all four of you are good.”

There was a knock on the door. Haruto turned around to see Jeongwoo. He smirked when he saw the sour expression on Jeongwoo’s face. But it was gone once he had walked into the room and stood adjacent to Haruto.

“The two of you have demonstrated amazing capabilities and I am considering pulling one of you up to the varsity team. Take this opportunity seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of tryouts.”

The last place Haruto expected to run into you was at the hospital. The last thing you were expecting at the hospital was for a dude to come up behind you and scare you. It was horrible, you can’t remember the last time you screamed so loudly, let alone at a public place.

“What are you doing here Y/N?”

“Uh, I’m-” you hesitated, trying to craft an answer that was vague enough that you wouldn’t have to tell the whole truth but not vague enough that he wouldn’t continue to ask questions. But thankfully Haruto seemed to take it upon himself to fill the silence.

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I totally misjudged you when I first met you? In fact, I thought I hated you.”

Alarm bells went off in your head. Was it normal for a person to come to you and tell you they hated you? “Uh, thanks?”

But Haruto continued. “But I wanted to say I totally read you wrong. You’re actually really cool. And I wanted to say thank you. For remembering my name.”

That was the first time someone had ever said that to you. You stared at him blankly unsure of how to respond.

“Haruto! Haruto! Haruto! Please report to waiting room 105, the doctor is ready for you now.” The voice over the loudspeaker belted.

“Well, that’s me.” Haruto said with a soft smile on his face. He got up and waved goodbye to you before heading to the back of the office.

Once he was safely out of sight you pulled out your notebook. Your face paled once you flipped through it a few times. You thought about what to do. What did this guy want? You wrote out all these questions in your notebook. Then you came to a conclusion of what to do and wrote that down in your notebook as well.

You ripped out a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your number on it. Then got up to the receptionist desk. “Hi, I don’t know if you’re allowed to do this. But when that guy Haruto comes out. Would you mind giving him this?”

You handed the sheet of paper over to her, the receptionist gave you a look and then a wink before accepting the sheet of paper. You figured that meant she accepted, so you waved goodbye and left the hospital.

“Excuse me sir!” The receptionist lady called out to Haruto as he was about to head out of the doctor’s office. What felt and looked like a nasty possible sprain on the lacrosse field just turned out to be a measly bruise.

Haruto approached the reception desk. “There was a young lady earlier. She asked me to give this to you before you leave.”

Haruto looked at the slip of paper. His eyes widened into the size of large gumballs when he realized what was on it. He felt like his heart would explode. But then his mind pumped the brakes, he wasn’t ungrateful, but why did you give him your number?

On the way back home you second guessed your decision at least 30 times. Why did you give him your number? The only reason you could think of was that you didn’t want to not know the guy. Contrary to what your mind and your diary told you. Your heart didn’t want to give him up. Maybe it was selfish and confusing, who knew? But who cared?

Haruto’s excitement was cut short when he finished punching your number into his contacts. Before he could even send a message to you, his phone rang. Hanbyul.

“Hey Hanbyul, what’s up?”

Haruto became alarmed when he heard a sniff and a muffled sob. “Haruto, I miss him.”

Haruto sighed. “He’ll come around soon.”

“Is there nothing you can do to make him come around sooner?”

“Hanbyul. If all goes well he’s going to be my teammate. Plus, what could I possibly say to change things?”

“I don’t know. He probably thinks there’s something going on between us.”

Haruto paused. “Is that why you’re friends with me?”

“No, no I swear it’s not. You’re an amazing person and you’ve been an amazing friend.”

“Hanbyul.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like what you’re asking me to do. But you are my friend. If you’re really sure this is the way you want to go about it.”

“I’m- I’m not sure. I just need things to change.”

On the third day of tryouts Haruto was in a funk. And it showed. The events of yesterday night haunted him, he was happy to see you but he was sorry for Hanbyul. Haruto didn’t really like to fight with anybody, but he found her requests unreasonable and the questions she asked about you probing and uncomfortable.

It seemed as if Jeongwoo was the same way. Haruto gave into the niggling voice inside his head and said probably he shouldn’t have said. “You’re gonna lose your girl to me and now you’re gonna lose your spot on the team to me?”

It pushed Jeongwoo off the edge and the two of them went at it. Haruto played ferociously and aggressively. As did Jeongwoo. The game ended when Jeongwoo illegally body checked Haruto.

“Dude what the hell is your problem?”

“No, what’s your problem? Your comment back there? Absolutely uncalled for.”

Valid. But Haruto wasn’t going to admit that. “Please. Pull your head out of your ass. You’re hurting your friend. Talk to her.”

Haruto stood by as he and Jeongwoo got scolded for their behavior. Eventually, tryouts ended with neither one ending up on the varsity team. Haruto knew he probably should have been more bothered but he wasn’t. He had other things on his mind.

When Haruto exited the office he saw Hanbyul waiting outside. She turned to look away from Jeongwoo back to Haruto. Tired and hopeful that their saga would end, Haruto smiled and jutted his chin out towards Jeongwoo. Hanbyul smiled and ran after Jeongwoo.

Since the fateful day you have Haruto your number. Whenever he had a free moment he would ask to see you. After each time you saw him, you thoroughly wrote down everything that had happened in the day. You didn’t want to forget.

A few Mondays ago, you went to get ice cream together. “What’s your favorite food, Haruto?”

“Me? Anything unhealthy.”

You whacked him on the arm for that.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a stupid teenage boy. And because I’m jealous of your metabolism.”

A couple Thursdays ago, Haruto asked you if you wanted to go watch a movie with him. The Uber and the weather didn’t quite work out. “Sorry we missed the movie by 45 minutes. But on the bright side, it’s not raining anymore!”

You laughed. “I guess you’re right. What should we do instead now that we’re here?”

Haruto looked around. He pointed at the grassy meadow. “We should just lay down on the grass and look at the stars.”

“The grass is wet.”

“Look, they're selling plastic tarps over at that convenience store. Let’s just buy one.”

“Okay.”

Haruto paid for a plastic tarp and spread it down out on the grassy meadow. The two of you laid on the ground parallel to one another. Until Haruto turned to you “can I hold you?”

You felt your face flush and you looked away. You hesitated for a few moments but eventually Haruto smiled when he heard a soft “yeah.”

So he moved his arm as you lifted your head to rest on top of it. You curled into him as his arm wrapped around your upper body. Haruto’s stomach exploded in butterflies. Your face was on fire. But the two of you were happy, blissful.

Last Friday night Haruto asked you to come to one of his lacrosse games. “Y/N, this is my friend Hanbyul. Hanbyul, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Hanbyul stared at you eyes wide. Like she knew something. She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in. You wondered what it was, but decided not to think too much about it.

Hanbyul was sweet. She kept you company throughout the game. But she was an aggressive cheer-er. Most of her attention was spent yelling at the field. Her energy was contagious and by the end of the game you were standing on the bleachers cheering “Go Haruto!”

Now it was Saturday and the two of you had finally gone to see the movie that you had meant to see a couple Thursdays ago. You clasped onto the arm that Haruto had held out for you as you exited the movie theater. “That movie was so good! It was so crazy!”

Haruto laughed. “Yeah it was okay.”

“Just okay? You didn’t like it?”

“No, I liked it. It wasn’t bad. But I feel like there were better movies from this cinematic universe you know?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Which one was your favorite?” Haruto asked.

“Huh?” You looked up at Haruto to see him looking down at you. You turned away. “Um. Would you wanna come back to my place?”

“Huh?” Haruto wasn’t normally caught off guard but this time he was.

“I mean. Not like that. I just, I don’t know I’m not ready for the night to end and I figured since my place is close by we could just go back and chat.”

Haruto smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go.”

Soon after the two of you arrived at your place, Haruto got situated on the couch and after making sure he was properly settled in. You had gotten up to go fetch your drinks. Haruto spotted your notebook sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He glanced over to see that your attention was fully occupied on making your drinks. Haruto turned back to stare at the notebook. No. The notebook was staring at him. Haruto knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t peek.

But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you he either saw the notebook with you or he saw you writing the notebook and every time he even remotely looked in its direction you guarded it with your life. This could be his only chance.

And so, Haruto grabbed the notebook. He flipped through it and saw that it was very meticulously dated. Upon closer inspection he noticed that each entry was timed as well and every timed entry had extensive details about what you saw, what you talked about. Then he flipped backwards and found one page not like the others.

This page wasn’t dated. Instead, it was titled. Haruto. Haruto’s eyes widened. Every line of his designated page was filled. There were things about him on there that even he hadn’t realized he had said. Why had you written all these things down? All these details didn’t seem that important to him. They were like things that were probably easily remembered. Or things you could ask him about, he’d answer if you ever asked him about.

Just as he was about to continue flipping through the pages of the notebook. “What do you think you’re doing?”

An index card fluttered out of the notebook right at Haruto’s feet. Haruto bent down to pick it up. But in a panic you kicked his shin and as he howled and grabbed onto his leg you snatched the card. “What the hell Y/N?”

“No. I should be asking you that. I’ve made it abundantly clear that this notebook is not to be touched. It’s incredibly private to me.”

“What is it? Why is it so important? I asked Hanbyul what it might be and she just said it was probably a diary. What is so special about yours?”

“What is so special about mine?” you were so angry you felt like your head was about to pop. While your head didn’t pop. Your mouth certainly did. “What is so special about mine? This notebook? This notebook. Is my memory. I don’t have a memory.”

You tossed the card at Haruto. He picked it up and read the words on the card as you spoke.

“At age 13 you were involved in a very traumatic car accident. The accident left you in a coma for two weeks. After you recovered from your coma you were diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. From that day on, you no longer have the ability to make memories. The memories you make within a day will only last until you fall asleep wherein your memories of the previous day will be wiped. Use your notebooks to keep track of your days. Use these notebooks to help you remember.”

You could hear your voice waver as you finished reciting the contents on the index card.

“Y/N, I-” Haruto said. The world seemed grayer and grimmer. Everything made so much sense now. Why every time he spoke to you in school you had to ask for his name. Why sometimes you looked confused or blank when he mentioned something or attempted to crack a joke.

“So now you know.” You whispered. You could feel your body start to heave, your breathing became heavy. The gravity of what you had just exposed started to weigh down on you. “You need to leave. You need to leave and never come back.”

“Y/N. I wish you would have told me.”

“Why?” You snarled. “Why would I tell you that? Each day I wake up I can’t even remember who you are. Why would I have told you anything? Just so you could go around pitying me? Telling everyone else about me? Absolutely not.”

Haruto started to feel tears well up in his own eyes. He felt trapped in his own body as he watched your body fail yours. When he saw you collapse something snapped in his head and he got up and picked you up. One arm held you under your shoulder blades and the other below your knees.

“Get. Out.” you said in between wheezes.

“No. Y/N. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Let me help you.”

“Get. Out.” you said, barely conscious.

“Y/N. You’re scaring me. What do I do? How do I help you? Let me help you and I’ll leave you alone.”

Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. Honestly, you weren’t even sure what exactly was going on. Maybe it would be smart to have Haruto call your doctor before he left. “Emergency Numbers. Notebook.”

Haruto placed you down on your bed just as you had passed out. Haruto immediately ran back to the living room and grabbed your notebook that had fallen onto the ground. He flipped through it frantically. What page were the emergency numbers on? He saw them scribbled on the inside of the back cover. He grabbed his phone and dialed the first number listed at the top.

“Hello? Is this Y/N’s doctor? She’s just passed out and I don’t know what to do. I’m in her apartment right now. Someone please come help me.” Haruto hadn’t even realized that tears had been streaming down his face until he saw wet splotches appear on the notebook. He wiped them quickly and sniffed. “This is scaring me.”

“Yes, this is Y/N’s doctor. I’m on my way over. Who is this?”

“Haruto. I’m a friend of hers.”

“Haruto. You did good, son. Just wait. I’ll be there in a second.”

“Doctor. Is she gonna be okay?”

“Honestly I can’t tell you right now. I have to check up on her. Right now I’m in front of her door so you can let me in.” The call ended and Haruto opened the door.

“Is she in her room?” The stout man asked.

Haruto nodded and followed him back into your room. He tried to help the doctor but eventually the doctor turned to him and said “son, just relax. Give me some space. She should be fine. She had a panic attack, something must have worked her up. But she’ll wake up. But, it might be better if you aren’t here by the time she wakes up.

“I understand, doctor.”

The doctor took a good look at him. Then nodded grimly before turning his attention back to you. Before Haruto could leave though he saw a stack of index cards, a roll of washi tape, and a pen sitting on your desk. He was still holding your notebook from earlier. He grabbed the materials and headed back out to the living room.

Before he left he scribbled out a note. Then pulled something out of his wallet and taped it to the back of the index card. He then taped the index card to the inside of the front cover before shutting the notebook and leaving it in the middle of your coffee table. He held in a sob as he got up. How had things gone so sour so quickly?

Haruto walked back over to your room and peeked in. Your doctor was still busy doting on you. So he turned around and exited your apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Junkyu. “Hey, can you pick me up?”

“Yeah of course. Send me the address.” Junkyu said, trying not to be too alarmed by the tone of Haruto’s voice.

Eventually, you woke up. After reading the note that your doctor had taped to your hand explaining the situation you took a deep sigh. What a shit show. You needed to find the notebook your doctor had mentioned in his note.

It was sitting in the very middle of your coffee table. You flipped through the last few pages to read your entries. Your eyes started to water and you felt yourself get emotional. You could sense that you had grown close to someone. You read about yourself and how you felt about Haruto, but who was Haruto? For the most part you had made peace with your situation but for the first time in a long time, you began to feel frustrated. Angry. Cheated of a normal life that other 16 year old girls got to live.

Just as you were about to shut the notebook you noticed there were two index cards taped to the inside cover. The first one explained your situation. It was more or less what your doctor had just explained to you. But the second one was new. You lifted it up to your face and began to read it aloud.

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are the love of my life. My name is Haruto Watanabe and I am 16 years old. I met you for the first time in our freshman year of high school back then when we lived in Japan. We were only 14 years old. I used to be jealous of you, how you beat me in school every time even if just by a little bit. I also resented you because I thought you never bothered to remember my name.

By some stroke of fate, we both ended up in America. Whether by fate or not we saw each other a few more times and met up with each other and I really began to fall for you. You are the kindest, most beautiful, and genuine person I have ever met in my life.

I want you to know that even with your condition. My opinion and my feelings towards you have not changed. I want to be honest with you and tell you what I did and I hope in time you can read this and not feel angry.

Y/N, I did something bad. I invaded your privacy. You see, every time I saw you you fiercely guarded this notebook. Everytime I asked about it or possibly glimpsed at it you would react so strongly so eventually the curiosity of needing to know what was in the notebook killed me. And one day when your attention was occupied elsewhere, I read it.

It seemed like a regular diary to me but you caught me in the act and got upset with me. You explained to me your condition and I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry I behaved so insensitively. If I were a more selfless man I would have left your life for good. But I am not. I’ve attached my school I.D. to the back of this card. On it has my name, my picture, and my phone number.

If you ever find it in yourself to forgive me. Please give me a call. I will always love you.

Love,

Haruto Watanabe

You flipped the back of the card over. Sure enough there was a school I.D. taped to the back. You pulled the card off and stared at it. The boy in the picture was handsome. He was tall. His height was 6’2”. You scoffed, at least you had good taste.

You saw his phone number at the bottom. You pondered over whether or not to call him, what would you even say to him? Where would he even fit in your life?

These were the questions that ran through your mind as you pulled your phone out and dialed his number. You stared at the numbers as you recited them aloud again. Your thumb hovering above the green button.

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