#sorry I say we but maybe this is just my persona experience

[lollyyon]

Do y’all remember a few months ago when Phil would mention dans name and we would be like 🤩 OMG. JOINT CONTENT HA 😔 we were literally on the floor clinging onto any scrap of content we could get. Now here we are with GAMINGMAS in full fucking swing. Hallelujah

[jae-bummer]

GG

Request: can i get wonwoo and #20 please? (fluffy haired online gamer boy)

Prompt:

20) You and your bias have become online friends who have never seen each other...until the day you decide to meet.

Pairing: Seventeen Wonwoo x Reader

Genre: Fluff

.

"WannaWoo," you sang into your mic. "What inspired your gamer tag?"

"It's because my name is Wonwoo," his deep voice said matter-of-factly. "You know that."

"No shit," you laughed. "But why not something else?"

"Why is yours KillerQuiche?" he mused.

"Because it was an autogenerated recommendation and I was thirteen," you grinned. "And at the time, I may or may not have misunderstood what a quiche was."

"And you've just stuck with it? All of this time?"

"Brand continuity. And it gives me ample opportunity to say, "Unleash the KillerQuiche,"" you laughed. "You have to admit, it gets our opponents pretty nervous."

"Or excited because they think they're about to win against a pair of thirteen-year-olds," he hummed.

"And then we devastate them," you chimed. "Because we make a great team!"

"More like give them a false sense of security," he chuckled. "But I suppose we make a pretty alright team."

"Be careful," you grinned. "That sounded dangerously close to a compliment."

"I compliment you all the time!" he gasped.

"Saying "good game" when we win hardly counts as a compliment," you argued.

""Good" is a positive descriptor," he muttered. "It totally counts."

"Fine," you sighed. "I'll allow it."

This wasn't the first time you had gone fishing for actual praise. Something like "Gosh, Y/N! You're so smart" or "Y/N, I know I'm Facetiming you at 2AM, but you look ravishing." Hell, you'd even settle for some variation of "Congratulations, you don't look like a rat today." To say you were thirsty for your friend's attention was an understatement. There had been a drought since the moment you had "met".

You had been long distance friends with Wonwoo for years and he hadn't realized that you were completely in love with him, despite your best efforts. Any attempts at flirting were just that, attempts. The one time you thought he was coming on to you, he was actually sweet talking a locked chest he was trying to open in a game.

At one point, you had considered that maybe he realized how you felt and was keeping you at arm's length to avoid an awkward let down. After you got to really know him though, you quickly understood that he was just reserved and in his head about things that did not concern you. Understanding emotions was not his strong suit, so picking up on them was nearly impossible. That's why he thrived in his digital persona. The worlds the two of you created and navigated were logical and safe. Things were risky when he became friends with you outside of the internet.

"Hey, Y/N?" Wonwoo's voice rumbled over the line. You had just entered the lobby of a game you often enjoyed playing together, so you assumed he was ready to strategize.

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to meet up?"

Furrowing your brow, you adjusted your headset to make sure you were hearing him clearly. "Like...have a designated time we do a video call or something?"

"No," he continued earnestly. "Like meet up."

"I'm sorry, I must be lagging," you said quietly. "We do not live in the same area, Wonwoo."

"Astute observation," he hummed, the tone giving away that he was clearly amused. "I've heard of this incredible invention. You see, it's this giant metal contraption that people actually get inside! And the technology it uses-"

"While I have no earthly idea how an airplane actually works, I don't need you to explain it to me," you rushed out. "Are you saying you want to meet in person?"

"No, I'm saying we should designate a time we do a video call or something."

"Wonwoo!" you whined. You felt like you were having an out of body experience. This was a request you never saw coming.

The man across the line erupted in laughter. You stared blankly at the screen, completely disregarding the cue to jump from the virtual plane and onto the map.

"Is this a joke? If this is a joke, I'm going to be really upset with you."

"It's not a joke!" he sighed. "I've wanted to meet you in person for a while. I hope you feel the same way about me."

"Of course I do!" you gasped. You hoped the "I've probably wanted this longer and more fervently than you" was implied by your tone.

"I was thinking I could come to you," he proposed. "I don't feel comfortable with making you travel so far by yourself."

"I'm more than capable-"

"I did not say you weren't," he cut in. "It's other people I'm worried about."

You felt your heart do a little spin. You weren't used to hearing him be protective. "Okay," you conceded. "But I won't have you pay for a hotel. You can stay in my guest room."

There was a short pause before Wonwoo cleared his throat. "I appreciate that."

Well, that was odd.

"Unless I"m totally overstepping," you added. "If you don't feel comfortable-"

"It sounds great, Y/N," he said much more confidently this time. "Now let's talk logistics."

After refusing to coordinate a plan while he continued to play video games (even when he argued how excellent he was at multitasking), the two of you finally worked out a schedule. In a month's time, he would get on a plane and end up in the same city as you. You'd pick him up, he'd sleep at your apartment, and hijinks would ensue.

As you told him goodnight and logged off for the evening, it felt like you were floating on air. In your wildest dreams, you would have never imagined that Wonwoo would be the one to propose meeting in person. You had thought about it dozens of times, but never wanted him to feel pressured. Plopping onto your bed, you stared up at the ceiling and tried to imagine what it would be like. Attempting to picture his tall, broad frame navigating life beside you, sent your heart tumbling to your toes. The simple intricacies of life seemed to be so much more important when you factored him into the equation. This would either be the best week of your life or the most awkward.

Knowing Wonwoo, it would probably be a happy mixture of both.

..

You shifted nervously from foot to foot, your stomach tying and untying itself into knots. You weren't sure if you were going to pass out, or spontaneously combust. When Wonwoo had insisted that he fly hours to see you, you had welcomed the idea. Now you were lightheaded and questioning every decision you had ever made to get to this point.

"It'll be fine," you muttered to yourself as you readjusted the balloons you held from one hand to the other. "It's just Wonwoo."

It being "just" Wonwoo was exactly your problem. Wonwoo wasn't "just" anything. He was multitudes. In all of the years that you had known him, he had made you feel the gamut of emotions. He was the truest friend you could ever hope for and the most clueless crush to stumble into your heart.

Keeping a watchful eye on the door marked "Arrivals," you nearly stopped breathing as you saw a face you recognized. Easily a head taller than the people walking around him, he was wearing a bright yellow beanie (so you'd know it was him - as if you wouldn't be able to identify him in any universe). It took mere seconds of him looking around for his eyes to lock on yours, a close-lipped grin on his lips.

From there, it felt like your mind had entered an intensely realistic daydream. Hurrying his steps, Wonwoo strode over until he was standing only inches away. The open expression on his face definitely signaled that he was waiting for you to make the first move. Lifting his arms slightly he breathed. "I'm here."

"You're here!" you all but screeched as you launched toward him. Wrapping yourself around his torso, you were amazed with how he could smell so good after being in the air for multiple hours. You nuzzled your face into his oversized t-shirt and let out a contented sigh.

Smacking at the balloons you still held, he navigated around them to snake his long arms around you. Shimmying in closer, he rested his chin on the top of your head. "A moment that's been years in the making."

You were surprised as you felt a soft kiss on your scalp. Leaning away from him, you looked up with wide eyes. "Wonwoo?"

"I didn't realize I could actually miss someone I had never met," he chuckled, shaking his head. Pushing up his glasses, he stared down fondly at you. "Is it...is it okay if I kiss you?"

You couldn't stop your mouth from popping open in surprise. Would it look bad if you pinched yourself to make sure this wasn't in fact a stress-induced mental break?

Wonwoo furrowed his brow as he searched your face. "I just...I just thought...Did I read the moment wrong? Oh god, I did, didn't I?"

The reality of the situation crashed into you with surprising force. Stepping forward to wrap him in your arms again, you cautiously glanced up. The last thing you wanted him to think was that he had crossed a boundary and made you uncomfortable. "Sorry, no, you didn't read the moment wrong. I was just...surprised?"

"Surprised?" he asked, still clearly confused.

"Well, uh," you said quietly. "You've never really given me any indication that you were romantically interested?"

"What?" he asked, shaking his head in disbelief. "What do you mean? Y/N, we've known each other since we were teenagers at this point. You're impossible not to fall in love with."

"...in, in love?" you croaked. This was all terribly new information.

"I had just assumed..." he said, growing smaller the more he talked. "I assumed we were...kind of...a couple?"

You continued to stare at him.

"You flirt with me all the time!" he offered. "And I flirt back!"

"In what world do you flirt back?" you laughed. Maybe you really were going through a mental break. Had he really known you had been flirting with him this entire time?

"I tease you," he muttered. "And I try to say sweet things, but every time I think I've come up with something good, it comes out wrong."

"I had no idea," you whispered. "But Wonwoo, I feel exactly the same."

"Oh," he huffed, now trying to process the whirlwind of information that had been exchanged. "Well, excellent!"

"Just...can you try to be a little more obvious with your attempts to romance me?" you laughed. Apparently, you had been the clueless one all along.

"I'm more than happy to try," he said, a cautious smile finding its way back to his lips. "I have your favorite compliment geared up and ready."

"Oh? And what's that?"

He prodded your cheek with his nose, closing his eyes as his forehead came to rest on your temple. "Good game, KillerQuiche."

[thou-babbling-brook]

Maria Thorpe Character Analysis

Well, I simply can’t disappoint the people – aka, the five of you that will read this, lmfao. I’m so serious about this that I’m actually drafting this on a Google doc before I post this rather than just typing random thoughts on my phone. This is going to be a HUGE ramble that probably won’t make a ton of sense, but I hope it’s entertaining regardless. 

Maria Thorpe – a character that Ubisoft probably spent MAYBE thirty minutes thinking about, but that I have not stopped thinking about for like, five years. What a gal. So glad I was not in this fandom in 2012 to witness how HEINOUS people were about her for simply being a woman “in the way” of a M|M relationship. I hope by the end of this ramble, you, too, will see her for the baddie she truly is. 

In this essay, I will delve into Maria’s character to explore why she is so fascinating to me, the implications of her story, and why Ubisoft can actually catch these hands for dumbing her down in AC Revelations. (I'm putting a cut here because it's so fucking long I'm sorry gang)

First off, to understand Maria Thorpe as a character, you have to understand her background. I’m not going to copy and paste her Wiki or anything, but I am going to outline her life (stated and implied) before we meet her.

For those that don’t know, Maria was born an English noblewoman in 1161 – four years before Altaïr was born (okay cougar). Because she was a tomboy and defied many of the social norms for women in the 12th century, she was ostracized by both her parents and her peers. She mentions in The Secret Crusade that her parents tried to force her to conform, which culminated in her first marriage at the age of 18 to Lord Peter Hallaton. She mentions that he was a decent husband, but he didn’t exactly appreciate her more boisterous nature. After all, in 12th century England (especially among nobility), women were to be seen, not heard. She also failed his expectations as a chatelaine and a wife, as she bore him no children. The Bishop of Leicester granted them an annulment to avoid embarrassment to both Peter and Maria’s family. When she returned, she was “persona non grata” to her family and the whole of Leicestershire, especially when her father had already spent her dowry. With no other options, Maria ran away to join the Third Crusade, where she eventually met Robert de Salbé.

You may notice that we don’t actually know a lot about Maria and her life before AC1, which is probably intentional. To me, though, that’s what makes her backstory fascinating – the implications of her environment and what we can reasonably deduce she went through based on historical context. I think anyone who’s taken a seventh-grade social studies class could tell you women had, like, zero rights in 12th-century England – even more so, noblewomen. Maria was raised to be a glorified broodmare – say nothing, have children (two boys and a girl, as she jokes), and run her husband’s household. Clearly, she was the exact opposite of all of these things. Something interesting about Maria’s first marriage is the fact that while it was an annulment, she specifically mentions in The Secret Crusade it was an annulment to save her family further embarrassment – which implies that the marriage was consummated, but all parties wanted it done with. I don’t think I need to elaborate on how common and horrific an experience like that could be, but I think it fuels Maria’s relationship later on with motherhood, especially since she mentions that she was completely uninterested in childrearing and birth (this is a key point I’ll touch on later).

So what? Why does her background matter? It matters because of how historical and cultural context tie in to help form who she is by the time she leaves for the Third Crusade – a desperate, twenty-two-year-old woman, divorced, ostracized from the only family and society she has ever known, having no other choice than to ditch England and head for the Holy Land unless she wants to become a nun. For many men and women alike in the 12th century, this was their only opportunity to become something more than what they were born as, whether it be a serf, a blacksmith, or a noblewoman. Many who left for the Third Crusade left to “take back the Holy Land,” but also to escape or improve their current standings. To me, Maria falls in the second category, and it is this desperation to escape her life that forms her most notable (and later, tragic) characteristic: her undying loyalty.

As a side note, it is also interesting to me that Maria chose to be a soldier rather than a nurse. This is more so my characterization of her, but I think that’s because a) she’s too damn proud and loud to be a nurse, and b) because if she was a nurse, she would more than likely live and be treated the same way she was at home. Truly, if she wants to escape the patriarchy, the only way a woman like Maria could at the time was to join it by blending in. Girly get some therapy.

We’re now at AC1 in the timeline. Hooray! We don’t know when exactly Maria joined the Templars or when she first met Robert, but we can probably assume it was not long after she joined the crusade. As we know from AC1, AC Bloodlines, and The Secret Crusade, Maria disguised herself as a man (more than likely a young boy since she’s got a voice that would fit right into Alvin and the Chipmunks) and was able to keep up the rouse long enough to rise in the ranks and show promise to people like Robert. For Maria, when Robert finds out she is a woman and yet elevates her further, it is the first time in her life that someone has appreciated her for her masculine qualities. It is why she develops an intense loyalty for Robert to the point of being willing to be his decoy, despite the fact she fully anticipated dying. For Maria, it would be her ideal end – fighting to the death for a cause she truly believed in. Not even really a cause, as we figure out later, but more so for a man she truly believed in – Robert. It would not be through the pain and subjugation of childbirth like most women of her standing, but a brutal fight like any other man.

And yet – she doesn’t. When Altaïr meets her, he’s undergone a whole development arc, whereas Maria (at this point 30, which is SO funny to imagine her fistfighting this 26-year-old frat boy) is at the start of hers. And it starts with Altaïr sparing her – the worst possible fate that could become her at this point in her life. Think about it: the only person who has given her an OUNCE of respect has asked her to essentially die for him by acting as his decoy. As Maria mentions in AC Bloodlines, by this point, she is also a step away from becoming a knight – and at this point, she’s also known as a woman among the Templars. And yet, she believes they have become her family, and she is willing to die for their cause and for Robert. When Altaïr spares her and kills Robert, he’s sentencing her to the life she ran away from and feared – being nothing more than a woman who is looked down upon with condescending snarls and disgust for who she is.

This is why when we meet Maria in AC Bloodlines, she is rightfully PISSED. We literally see her realize that any ounce of respect and power she had is completely gone because Altaïr spared her. She is so pissed, in fact, that she tries to kill Altaïr again. This is even funnier when you remember how much of a BITCH it was to fight her in AC1, but I digress. Altaïr has destroyed everything she has built in her life for the last eight years. He has taken her home, her mentors, her family, and her honor. And bro doesn’t have a clue in the fucking world.

It’s at this point that I’ll also analyze more about Maria’s relationship with the Templars. At first glance, yes, she was a Templar and believed in their cause. Really, though, it goes far deeper than that. It’s not necessarily that Maria believes in their cause – otherwise, it would’ve taken a lot more for Altaïr to sway her to the Assassins – but that she believes in the people. Again, from Maria’s perspective, the Templars (especially Robert) were the ONLY people in her entire life to treat her with dignity, and she is willing to die for them. She is willing to throw her honor to the ground and beg for forgiveness in front of Bouchard because, without the Templars, she is nothing. She is back to square one as a silly little girl trying to run from a life that would only subjugate her. It’s that recurring characteristic of undying loyalty to those who have given her the life she has always wanted.

And for Maria, it is immediately spat back in her face.

When Bouchard takes over in AC Bloodlines, he is a strict Templar Grandmaster. No consorting with women, periodt. And he flaunts this over Maria, taunting her. He is tearing the last ounce of respect she’d ever received and throwing it away. Every sacrifice she made for the Templars for the last eight years meant nothing, and it is crushing to her. She continues to be pissed off at Altaïr, who mentions that she’s more pissed at the Templars than at him. Once again, she is nothing more than a woman – an imprisoned one at that.

This is where one of my favorite Maria scenes (not that there’s many) comes into play. When she and Altaïr are sitting on the ship to Cyprus or wherever it doesn’t matter, Altaïr does something that no person has done for her before: he treats her with unconditional respect. As funny as his autistic ramble about Empedocles and philosophy is, there are so many assumptions that go into Altaïr’s conversation that I think help sway Maria to his side. When he talks to Maria, he speaks to her as an equal. He talks to her about philosophy because of course she would know about philosophy in his mind – to him, she is a soldier and a person first, and a woman second (shut the fuck about The Secret Crusade and him thinking about her as a lioness shut up shut up I low key hate it even though it’s funny). He is the first person in her life to speak to her as an equal and with respect with no strings attached. In fact, when Maria taunts him for leaving her cuffed even as he talks about free will, he lets her go. She may not like him at this point, but after this scene, you can certainly see that she respects him in how she speaks to him. BONUS: she’s not trying to outright kill him anymore! Hooray!

You can see the impact Altaïr and his conversation had on Maria when she confronts Shahar in her courtesan fit. There’s so many layers to Maria willingly dressing in such an exposing, vulnerable, and feminine way (keep in mind this bitch is Catholic, I know her guilt was going crazy), but what I’m going to focus on is her conversation with Shahar. When he speaks to her, he is gross and all but catcalling her, calling her a “little fox” and using a sultry tone. Maria is having NONE of it, and one can only assume this is a tone she has dealt with a thousand times over. This is also where we see the gears turning in Maria’s head. I’ve seen people criticize Maria for how quickly she flip-flopped, but I think that’s overlooking the reason that she WAS a Templar – they were the only people who provided her a home when she had none. If you’re desperate for anyone to treat you with an iota of respect, you’d do whatever they ask. After she talks to Altaïr though, and especially after realizing Robert was simply manipulating her, she is questioning the Templars’ ideologies and realizing this is not what she wants. It low key is like Alicent in House of the Dragons right now – she’s shocked that fighting against women fucked herself over. Maria is similar in that sense – she thought that by being what the Templars wanted and fighting for what they believed, it wouldn’t come back to bite her in the ass. But it did. She’s a woman before she’s a Templar, and the ideology of the Templars would see her subjugated just as she was before. It isn’t until after Altaïr’s spiel about free will and the challenges it brings that she realizes she has other options.

And that’s ultimately what brings Maria to the side of the Assassins – realizing her errors in thinking and wanting a way to redeem herself. The Assassins are her second chance, which is ironic given how many stories after hers would follow this same format of second chances. But it isn’t just the ideology change, either. It’s Altaïr. No, she does not have undying loyalty by the end of AC Bloodlines, but he’s certainly earned her trust and respect. He’s treated her like any other person without ever holding power or loyalty over her head. He does not manipulate her or exploit her – he respects her, and he earnestly tells her of the creed’s ideologies not to lure her in, but because he genuinely believes in the idea of dispelling the illusions of the world and wants to share it with her, whether she becomes an Assassin or not. That is what turns Maria into an Assassin at the end of the day: his respect for her and his understanding of the creed. And despite their issues, Maria chooses to follow him to the ends of the earth.

Now we’re at a really funny part of Maria’s story: we know basically NOTHING about what happens in between AC Bloodlines and AC Reflections. We know that sometime after traveling to Masyaf, Maria and Altaïr became a couple. We know they married in 1195 and gave birth to Darim the same year. Two years later, they would traumatize Desmond Miles by fucking on top of a castle, which is so fucking funny and only supports my characterization of Maria as a gremlin, because who the fuck else would make their husband climb up a giant ass tower for sex? We know she officially became an Assassin and would beg Altaïr to stop looking into the Apple. We know she would join Altaïr and Darim to Mongolia to kill Genghis Khan. And that is all we know for an approximately 30-YEAR PERIOD.

While there’s a lot I could talk about in that gap, like Maria’s relationship with other Assassins, I’m going to focus on her relationship with motherhood. As we established earlier, Maria had ZERO interest in being a mother or giving birth. This is a personal headcanon but I do not care because it’s MY analysis and I can do as I please, but I feel like she would’ve dreaded childbirth, especially given how English nobility acted about it (e.g., how people treated it like a scandal or disease) and how it was the leading cause of death for women until the 20th century. Yet, despite this, she had not one, but TWO children. She was like one away from the goal, and even then Sef had two daughters so really she fulfilled it. But why? What changed that she would be willing to do the very thing she left England to avoid?

I think it goes back to the reason she was disinterested in it in the first place. Like Maria says in The Secret Crusade, she didn’t want to just be a mother or a wife. Her ideal husband would treat her like any other man, taking her hunting or whatever else bullshit medieval stuff they’d do instead of scrolling through TikTok. She never said she didn’t want to be a mother. I think her hesitance stems from the fact that she didn’t want to SOLELY be defined as a mother or a wife. With Altaïr, however, that fear is pretty much gone. Since the moment she met him, Altaïr has always treated her with respect and admired the things she was once shamed for. Her strength is valuable as an Assassin. Her bluntness keeps him in check. Her ideas are admired rather than ridiculed. To Altaïr, Maria is not just a woman or even just an Assassin. She’s a person with her own experiences and ideas and fears and strengths and dreams. He loves her for every aspect of herself that was once frowned upon.

I remember a while ago seeing a Tumblr post from ye olden days (like 2012) talking about how because menstrual cycles were extremely irregular back in the day due to medieval diets and exercise, Maria would have to purposefully chill out to regulate her cycle to become pregnant. What that implies is that she trusted Altaïr so much that she was willing to settle down and have children because she knew it would not influence how he treated or loved her. Personally, I think this is true of Darim, but that Sef was an accident because it’s funnier that way, but regardless, the point still stands. Maria getting pregnant and becoming a mother is the opposite of what she thought she would ever want, but because she loved and trusted Altaïr so much, she was willing to have a family with him because she knew it would not come to define her. I think that is unbelievably sweet.

We also don’t really see Maria interact with her children very often, which I think is a fucking shame. When she does interact with Darim (we never see her with Sef, though we do see her reaction to his death), Maria is always supportive and encouraging. Again, this is more my headcanon territory but I really don’t care because I can do what I fucking please, but Maria low key feels like a boy mom to me, but not in the weird Freud way, lmfao. Like we established earlier, Maria’s key trait is her loyalty. I think this loyalty would be extended to her children. We know she’s loyal to Altaïr (it ends up killing her), but I feel like it would go insane with her children. When she learns of Sef’s death in The Secret Crusade, this woman breaks down in tears instantly. WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE MOTHERLY RAGE WITH ABBAS, UBISOFT. WHERE WAS IT. Anyways.

Masyaf is a pretty cutthroat environment to raise a child, especially when you consider that Abbas is apparently lurking in the background scheming during Altaïr’s reign. Something I wish we learned more about (and something I just find fascinating in general) is the political environment of Masyaf. Altaïr implemented a lot of changes to the Brotherhood that faced backlash, one of the key ones being allowing women in the order again (ahem, Maria). I know Maria said she was uninterested in the politics of running a house, but I do think she’d kind of have to play her hand in politics in Masyaf, kind of how Altaïr realizes he’s not exempt from politics since he’s literally shaping them. If Maria wants her kids to be safe, especially as sons of the Master of the Assassins, she’s gotta play her cards well. This is why I think it does make sense for Maria to calm down after having children to be more similar to the Maria we see in AC Reflections and AC Revelations. She can’t just fight everyone like she did when she was relying solely on herself. Now, she has people relying on her, and I think it makes sense for her character to chill out more (though without losing her spunk) to ensure her family is safe.

For those that have ever watched Magnificent Century, basically think about how Hurrem went from fighting everyone to playing her cards wisely so her kids wouldn’t die or do stupid shit. That’s how I feel like Maria would be.

Something else that’s interesting about Maria to me is her relationship with Altaïr. Duh, you’re probably saying, but hear me out. We know that while she and Altaïr were inseparable during their marriage, there was one thing that strained it: the Apple. It makes sense why Maria would be so pissed off at it. She’s seen Altaïr control men’s minds with it. She’s seen how it takes him away for days at a time with its secrets, to the point she is begging him to throw it away. Back to the point about loyalty to her family, whereas Altaïr seeks knowledge, Maria just wants her family protected and safe because she loves them – including her dumbass husband. It’s ironic that the very thing she fought about with Altaïr is the thing that killed her.

So we’re finally at AC Revelations, and I am truly shocked that you’re still here. Kudos to you. At that final confrontation scene with Abbas, that loyalty for those she loves comes to a head. When Altaïr whips out the Apple, Maria begs and pleads him to stop, because she knows if he uses the Apple to control someone, he will only be proving Abbas’s point, which will only fuck them over. In The Secret Crusade, we also have Malik’s head on top of this scene to make it worse. Maria’s position is again one of desperation. Her son is dead, one of her best friends is now just a head, and her husband is about to go sicko mode. She is screwed and she knows it. What she doesn’t know is that she’s about to be stabbed by Swami (I’m going with the revelations version shut up) in a last ditch effort to stop Altaïr from using the Apple. Altaïr doesn’t listen to Maria, and it kills her. He kills her.

… SO I HAVE THOUGHTS.

I think Maria dying from the Apple makes sense, I do. That’s not my problem. My problem is how AC Revelations basically dumbed her down to this motherly, homely figure which is the like, ANTITHESIS of what Maria is. Where was the feminine rage??? You’re telling me this woman would not be about to SLAUGHTER someone after learning that Sef died?? You’re telling me she would just pull an AltaïR thiS iSn’T yOu???????? Are you so fucking for real right now??? It pisses me off because it nukes her character. While yes, it makes sense for her to be a much calmer woman and 67 compared to 30, this is still Maria. Don’t act like she and Altaïr don’t have fucking anger issues and be so fucking for real.

Here’s my ideal scenario for what should’ve gone down. I think once they pulled Malik’s head out, there should’ve been all-out chaos rather than this bullshit “We killed everyone loyal to Altaïr before he arrived.” Maria should’ve been right there with them with a sword out. Altaïr, in a desperate attempt to calm everyone down, would take out the Apple and try to control everyone. If you’ve seen the long ass discussion about how Revelations fucked up Altaïr’s character arc, this also helps remedy that because Altaïr is pulling out because of his arrogance in believing he can control the Apple. News flash: he can’t. Maria, while fighting for Altaïr, would somehow be killed either by the Apple or like similar to how Swami accidentally killed her. Something along those lines where it is Altaïr’s fault. That’s how she should’ve gone out, not some weird pick me bullshit.

Anyways. RIP Maria Thorpe you would’ve loved Crusader Kings 3.

I definitely missed some points about her character but this is already 7 pages long on Google docs so I am NOT writing anymore. God bless.

TLDR she's a baddie and I need her so so so bad

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man: Epilogue

Fic Summary: Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

Chapter Summary: Corroded Coffin takes flight, and you're on air.

1.4k Words

(Master List 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15)

“Oh, is it on? Sorry about that everyone! You’d think after a year on air I’d get this cue right, but apparently we’re still working out some of the technical bugs for getting that timing right. Anyway, welcome back to LTRD, The Right Road to Good Music.” 

That was a lie, you hadn’t missed the cue. You had only ever missed the cue once on your first week on air, and the few listeners had found it so funny that you had been instructed to keep it as a bit. The radio persona you put on was a bit more air-headed than you might have picked out for yourself, but you had fun with it. 

In all the time you had tried to be on stage, who knew that you’d do better when no one could see you? The sound mixers not-withstanding, of course. 

“In studio today we actually have Eddie Munson of Corroded Coffin fame here to tell us about their new studio album.” You smiled across the table at your boyfriend, who was leaning back casually in his chair, as if he’d done this a hundred times.

And he might as well have with how many times you two went over everything the past week to get ready for this interview. 

“It was going to be a garage album, but it turns out the studio doesn’t want everything recorded on a tape recorder.” He gave you a winning smile that still gave you butterflies, even now a little over a year later.

“With the way your popularity has taken off in the area, I’m sure more than a few people would be willing to shell out for that.” 

“Maybe, but we aren’t shell outs.” Eddie looked at you with the biggest grin and you had to take a deep breath. That had NOT been in your practice, and you were so mad that stupid joke almost made you laugh. 

“Welp, this has been a good interview, but we’re gonna have to cut it short- I’m joking, Merv.” You said to the station director who was shooting you a look. “So, tell us about the new album.”

“Thanks for having me on to talk about this.” Eddie said, fiddling with one of his rings. His hair had grown even longer in the past year, falling down just passed his chest now. His arms had a few more tattoos, and you knew from up close and personal experience that his thighs now had a few very nice pieces. You tried not to think about that while you were on air. “The new album is coming out this October, and it’s called Fire Shroud. The whole album is heavily inspired by a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that we all played together a few years ago.”

“Dungeons and Dragons?” you asked, pretending to know less than you did for the sake of the interview. “Pretty brave to say that on air. I think we had a few people storm the phone lines a few weeks ago for dating to mention the game.” 

Eddie grabbed the mic and pulled it closer to him. “I want people to know that enjoying fantasy, using your imagination, and learning basic math isn’t even close to the Satanic bullshit people say it is- wait, can I say that on air?” 

You looked at the clock, it was just passed 1 am. “Fuck no.” you smiled at him.

“Good.” he continued. “Listen, whatever freaky sacrificial rituals I do, happen in my off time when I’m not playing music or running a game.”

“I take it that the blood just gets all over the game board?”

“I spend so long painting my game pieces, so I don’t like getting blood on my hard work.” 

The interview went on like this for a while, and you and Eddie effortlessly went through the basic points that you two needed to hit. The albums release, how excited Corroded Coffin was to be working on this, and how excited they were to hopefully put the game that meant so much to them in a better light. 

“So, if anyone wants to come see Corroded Coffin live, where can they go to see you?” 

“We’re actually playing a few venues and theaters in the Indianapolis area next month, we’ll be sharing the stage with a few other bands. We are also going to be helping out with one of the shows at the latest Rocky Horror Picture Show revival soon.” 

Columbia (you were sure Robin told you her real name at some point, but she would always be Columbia in your mind), had staged a coup after the theater had been handed over to Left Turn. She had taken the remaining members and had gone to another theater. When news about Corroded Coffin’s graduation take-over hit, she had Robin reach out to you and you had talked to Eddie and everything came together pretty easily from there. It would only be for one night, but you found yourself really looking forward to seeing the show again. 

Merve signaled at you to wrap it up, and when the light went off you sighed and sagged in your seat. Eddie got up to get you some coffee, and you were thankful for that. Being a late night radio host had made your sleep schedule a bit weird, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

“Are we still on for breakfast when you get off?” He asked. “Still doing a double date with Steve and his latest girlfriend?” 

You snorted. “As far as I know. He might sleep in again and miss it.”

“Well, if he does then we’ll just get breakfast to go and I can keep you to myself then.” Eddie said. “I’ll need a nap after this.”

“You know, you don’t have to stick around. You can go home and get some sleep.” you suggested. “Just because I’m here all night, it doesn’t mean that you have to be. You already spend most of your time down the hall with the rest of the boys.” 

“I gotta make sure no creeps call in and try and flirt with you.” he said. “Not while I’m here.” 

“Eddie, I do this five nights a week, and I’ve only had, what, maybe 3 creeps call in and most times Merv is able to catch them before they make it on air.” You reached up and scratched at his scalp. “I appreciate the concern, though.” 

Eddie yawned and closed his eyes. “I’m not leaving.” he mumbled, his eyes closing. “If I go home, I know I’ll miss picking you up.” 

“We drove here separately.” you laughed. “Go take a nap on the couch in the break room. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.” 

“Fine, but I’m taking your blanket.” He said, grabbing the fleece that was draped over your chair. Eddie leaned in and gave you a kiss. “Knock ‘em dead, baby.” 

“Only if you bury them.” you smiled back at him. 

The night went on with music, call-ins, news, and weather. When the first rays of morning light peaked through the windows of Left Turn Studios, you signed off, got your notes from Merv, and went to the break room where your boyfriend was already nursing a room temperature cup of coffee.

“Let’s get you some real coffee.” you took the flimsy cup away from him and tossed it in the trash. 

Eddie stood up and leaned in and kissed you, his hand cupping your jaw. You hummed against his lips and wrapped your arms around his waist. 

“What was that for?” you asked as he pulled back. 

“It’s a better wake up than shitty coffee.” He said, kissing your forehead. “But now I want mediocre coffee.” 

It was a surprisingly cool morning as the two of you stepped out of the studio. You said your hellos to the morning shift as they filed in, and Eddie walked you to your car. “See you at the diner. If Harrington doesn’t show up within fifteen minutes, we’re taking our food to go.” 

“Can’t argue with that.” You agreed. 

Within an hour, you were dozing off on Eddie’s chest in bed together. Your leftover breakfast pushed to the side as MTV played some song that you were glad you didn’t have to put on your show. Eddie’s arm was around your shoulders and tracing patterns absently against your skin. 

There had once been a time where you felt like a fish out of water, and then later you could breathe. Now, so long after making the dumb little deal with Steve you realized you weren’t meant for the land or sea. 

From now on, you could fly.

a/n: The End

Dividers by: @strangergraphics

Tag List @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n

@mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea

@vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirly93

@perpetualmessmachine @thebook-hobbit @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh

@siriuslysmoking @huffledor-able541 @pookiesnatcher @eddiesguitarskills @browneyes-8288

@sheneedsrocknroll92 @kores-mun-son-n-more @eddiebuttcheeks @kirsteng42 @dreamerjj

@moonisu @em022O @cosmorant @kurdtbean

[mari-the-bimbo]

Hi hi! How are you doing?

Can I request dorm mate Getou comforting a stressed reader? (I'm in serious need of comfort right now 😅)

Also I wanted to say that I love all your series (especially the dorm mates)❤️

Dorm mate Geto: comforting you when stressed out

A/N: I’m in serious need of comfort too bae let’s do this 🫶🏽💗

If it hasn’t been mentioned hundreds of times already, dorm mate Geto is very observant and smart compared to the chill, uninterested persona he exudes.

So when he sees the slight scrunch of your nose or the subtle huff, Geto picks up on your sour mood.

Of course he does, he knows you too well, he’d write a textbook about you if he had enough time.

He waits patiently until all of yours and his friends leave the dorm, Gojo following them like an excited puppy the second he heard the mention of dessert. Leaving the spacious, neutral coloured dorm to yourself and Geto alone. He loves having you all to himself, it was like a new bad habit.

He silently takes a sip of his coffee as he watches you let out a repressed sigh, but then he couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. “How long was you holding that for?” He teases, but he’s met with no reply from you.

He tries to place his large hand on your head for comfort, but you whack it away. Now there was no malice behind your actions, you just didn’t feel like being teased right now.

But Geto remains unfazed, “Oh don’t be like that doll, you’re breaking my heart” he teases

You sigh before mumbling a sorry, ready to get up and leave, but you’re stopped in your tracks as your dorm mate grabbed your hand, his strength pulling you back down.

He towers over your deflated figure sprawled across the sofa, and leans in. “What’s going on? Why are you so grumpy hun?” He asks so casually in your ear.

“M’not grumpy, just stressed” you mumble, as your fingers fumbled with his shirt.

“Yeah? Tell me more” he says, as his big body unintentionally engulfs you through his muscular arm resting above your head, his black hair that fell out of his bun tickling your face and his body pressing against yours.

“I’m stressed about the interview” you add when he continues to look at you expectantly.

“Oh y/n, don’t stress yourself over that hun. You’re such a pretty, intelligent girl, you’ll do great, even if you don’t, it counts as experience, which is still a win” he coos in your ear as he inches closer to you, stroking your cheek, which burnt under his touch in embarrassment.

“Thanks Geto, I can’t help but feel stressed though” you admit as you look up at him only to find his dark eyes already looking at you.

“I know hun, maybe some chamomile tea will help, yeah?”

“Yeah” you reply with a smile, making him smile back even more sweetly, as he brushes your hair out of your face with his long fingers.

“C’mon” he says, which makes you move towards getting up, but instead you let out a yelp as you feel his muscular arms wrap around you and pick you up bridal style.

“G-Geto?!”

“Hm? Oh c’mon doll, just wanna be close while we got some time alone” he whispers in your ear.

[prince-liest]

Omg, I just wanted to say I ADORE your characterization of Al and Vox! I don't even have the words to express how much I love reading your stuff, especially the Anon responses you post on here. The behind the scenes thoughts are literally my food, lifesource, its so good when people not only write characters IN CHARACTER, but also include stuff about their analysis/understanding of the character too.. I'm literally obsessed with breaking down characters and yk, cracking their chrome domes open to see how they work (which admittedly, I am not the best at <_< but I love reading them). Just wanted to say how much I love your writing. I had maybe 2 questions, please don't feel pressured to answer them :>

What in your mind (in reference to the 66.6 fics) would motivate Alastor to let Val get close to him in the first place? Or was that more you picking these two characters up by the scruff of their necks and plopping them into a hypothetical scenario to explore their character and write some fun intimate thingsTM?

What do you think of the dynamic of Vox and Al vs something like Lucifer and Al? Personally I've noticed that something Alastor craves, behind the mask of his static smiling persona, is attention. He's (at least how I saw it) usually peeved when people don't care about his absence, and seems especially bothered by the King of Hell refusing to really acknowledge him, so he goes out of his way to push Lucifers buttons (like calling himself a father figure to Charlie, IN FRONT OF HER ACTUAL FATHER LOL) whereas with Vox, Vox is literally CONSTANTLY thinking about Alastor. Man literally interrupted his regular TV program to do a segment about how much he totally didn't at ALL care about Alastors dissapearance or the fact that he returned (suree buddy). So Alastor can have more fun with him and annoy him by ignoring and messing with him on purpose.

ty if you do respond to this, sorry if it was hard to understand, sometimes I forget how to put the thoughts in my brain into coherent words!

Ahhhh, thank you very much, anon! I'm especially happy that you're enjoying my commentary on Tumblr, haha - I spent a while on Twitter because that's where all the fandom zines I was in were being hosted, but nothing beats Tumblr for giving me a nigh-unlimited word count and a captive audience for my rambling! >:D <3 I'm back to cocooning myself on the OG hell site.

Thank you for this ask, it really brightened my day! :D

As for your questions:

1. I'm assuming that was a typo and that you mean Vox (but in case you did mean Val: that was just a funny accident of him walking by the room! Alastor wasn't paying enough attention until it was too late), and to that I say:

I think Alastor allows Vox to take a go at him in canon because he finds Vox's obsession with him to be entertaining, but also because Alastor is kind of a narcissist and that same obsession massively feeds his ego, especially in a political climate that otherwise forgot about Alastor. Vox's whole "Who gives a shit about Alastor coming back?! Haha, now let me have a public meltdown and short out power to the whole city about it! Oh, fuck, why is he back, though?? Can we send a spy in to find out??" is exactly the reaction that Alastor wants every time he mentions his mysterious absence and gets brushed off.

At the same time, Alastor doesn't seem to register Vox as a sincere and genuine threat. He's a big enough fish in the Pride Ring pond that his obsession with Alastor is gratifying, but Alastor's self-absorption also doesn't really allow him to treat Vox as a threat tier above "annoying in a funny way, and also television is stupid." (Perhaps this will change in season 2... :eyes: (or perhaps Alastor will get Even Worse) (please god let him get even worse))

So those two things in combination make Vox the perfect candidate for Alastor to experiment with while maintaining his ego and not feeling particularly threatened. Despite Vox's Safeword 101 talk, Alastor would never put stock into that system with Vox unless he was certain that he himself would be able to back up a 'no' with overwhelming force. Him even considering safewords in the Live On Air! series is less for his own sake and more a politesse he offers on Vox's request to warn Vox to slow the fuck down before Alastor tries to put his insides on the outside.

2. And in direct contrast, we have Lucifer...

... Who Alastor obviously actually cares quite a bit about, because he's a whole nother power tier from both Vox and Alastor, and furthermore and possibly even more importantly, a credible threat to Alastor's relationships and standing in the hotel. I think a lot of discussion I see about Alastor prodding Lucifer seems to talk about how quickly he got annoyed about Lucifer's comments, but that misses the fact that he was pissed off before Lucifer even showed up. He got pissy the moment he saw the welcome sign, actually! And I wager that he was narratively absent for the scene where Charlie actually calls Lucifer because he would have done his best to manipulate her out of doing so had be been there.

And given that the two clearly haven't met before (though obviously Alastor knows of Lucifer - and hates that the inverse isn't true, hah), it's not 100% clear exactly why he's immediately so annoyed, but in my personal view of things and barring something like "he's projecting onto Lucifer because his contract is with Lilith," I think that what we know of Alastor's personality points most strongly to "he liked being the hotel's benefactor and sees it as His Project, and doesn't like the idea that Charlie called daddy for something that she thought mysterious, powerful Alastor couldn't handle." He distracts a lot with obviously-goading comments about practically being Charlie's dad in his duet with Lucifer, but underneath that he puts a lot of emphasis on the work he's done for the hotel and the fact that he's been supporting Charlie and the hotel from the start, so why the fuck is this deadbeat asshole suddenly turning up?!

Tl;dr: Charlie missed her insight roll on Alastor's personal investments and he's sooooo offended - and taking it out on Lucifer!

I think one of my favorite things about both Lucifer and Alastor is that they both sooo obviously belong in the Pride Ring, hahaha.

[the-alarm-system]

Anti Endos and Projection of Decisions and Hurt

I'd like to start this off with my story and how it relates to the experiences of many hurt anti-endos.

I don't remember a big chunk of my original trauma, most of it feels like a dream that has chunks guarded by Red our protector. I do have bits and pieces, and I know for a fact that I went through RAMCOA.

Growing up I got hurt by a lot of women, and one of those woman's personas got introjected into my system and would retraumatize me consistently for a few years. This was before I realized I was plural.

What Im trying to say is I have survived a lot of horrible shit, and I know it's why I'm plural, and I have had horribly abusive headmates before.

Anti Endos bring these forms of exo and internal abuse up whenever attacking the slogan "The future is plural". I saw an anti endo say

---

----

And I got angry enough to make this. Maybe it was rage bait, but I'm convinced most of them genuinely believe this.

Using your own trauma and hurt to invalidate the existence of others is one of the most vile horrible things you can do. Not every traumagenic system is formed from programming, not every system existing is formed from programming. Trust me I know the pain of being hurt that way, but are you serious? Don't use your trauma to hurt others. No endo wants to fucking program a child and abuse them, this is just a false analogy used to bring fear to others and towards the movement. We are not the enemy.

-----

---

I have experienced strong negatives, I've felt strong dissociation, memory loss, and Scald has gotten lost before and we do struggle a lot in disordered experiences. But this is expecting that every system puts the negatives above the positives. This is expecting that your experience and perspective of your own system lines up with everyone elses. I don't care that I have so much to deal with, being a system makes me extremely happy and I would love to share that with others. Obvious negatives? Yes, but "few" positives? In my experience with DID, psychosis, and even BPD I do my best to see the lighter side of them because I wouldn't be me without them. I have so many more pros than cons that comes with being a system because I actively changed my perspective in order to accept ourselves. I had to see the joy of it because I was abusing Scald by not accepting him and giving him individuality. I understand a system seeing their DID as more negative than positive, but this is projection to others which is simply narrow minded.

Before going deeper, I want to affirm that I have no hatred towards those who go towards final fusion or uses parts language. This is an argument about those who project their end goals and hurt and suffering onto other systems in order to invalidate them.

While I may not experience this towards my own system, I can understand why others may despise being many and/or desire to end as a singlet. However in the argument against endos; being broken, wanting fusion, using parts language, and hating yourself as a system is bought up multiple times. Here are some examples:

----

---

Their views on their systemhood, while valid, is narrowed to the expectation that every other system should see it that way and if they don't they are put into the pile of fakes and subject to harassment. Anti endos have called me disgusting simply for expressing how happy being a system makes me. It reminds me of when I was a transmedicalist(essay for later) to be honest.

If you don't want to fuse, if you don't see your systems existence as an abomination, and you desire better acceptance from the world

You are a fucked up groomer who is anti recovery, never wants to heal, and wants to abuse children.

I'm sorry I love my system

I'm sorry I found so much joy in my system that I would love for there to be more of us and better acceptance of us

I'm sorry that I'm not all pessimistic on my system

To be honest, I can't change the past I went through, I can't delete my system,

But maybe to me it's ok to see the good that came out of it even if its hard then and hard now

Projecting your perspective of your systemhood onto others though, projecting false analogies based on your own trauma, and expecting every experience to be the same as yours is vile and just self victimizing in order to hurt vulnerable systems looking for community.

Giving your sob story, ranting about how you hate your pieces/headmates, and then tying it up with "and thats why endos want to hurt children" is a different level of fucked up

small personal note: if I had to endure everything again just to be with Scald, I would Over and over and over Piss yourself mad about it antis, I love my system and we aren't faking because of it

[smytherines]

Hey, I saw that you were bored, and I am also bored, so have an ask! Your Owen headcanons are great, so I was wondering if you have any about Owen's interest in acting/theatre?

It's one of the things that's really interesting to me about his character, even though it only gets a brief mention in canon.

Sorry if you've answered something like this already!

Ooooooooo this is such a good ask

It's weird, because despite being a hardcore theatre kid myself (I spent ages 8-18 in a community theatre program doing 2 plays and a musical every year), I always tend to see Owen's interest in acting in relation to my autistic Owen headcanon, as allegorical instead of literal acting/theatre.

Although in my experience, masked autistic people make excellent actors because it's what we do all the time anyways- every social interaction is a performance. We finesse ways to deliver lines, body language, tone of voice. I have to physically stop myself from rocking or swaying. I say combinations of words I've memorized from TV, delivered in the style of whatever actor's delivery is most appealing to me. Before I was diagnosed I used to joke that I built my public personality around Lauren Graham's line deliveries in Gilmore Girls. (I also routinely quote that show in social interactions)

It's exhausting, but I can more or less be at a social event for a few hours and seem ~normal~ and then come home and fall apart. The only time I feel like I can really unmask is when I'm totally alone, and the more time I spend with others (even people I love and adore!) The more irritated I get, the more quickly I melt down, the less I'm able to keep up the "I'm totally normal" facade I've constructed.

Obviously I'm 1000% projecting onto this character, but that's kinda how I see Owen and how I write him. I mean he literally is masked for most of the show, the acting, the way he speaks and his body language changing based on who he's around and what he's doing, him putting on personas and playing characters, the specific way he speaks with his hands, the way he seems to fixate on certain interests and ideas and ideological positions, the way they emphasize his interest in details, just so much of that feels familiar to me.

I do think he probably would've enjoyed acting. It saved my life. I wouldn't have survived without learning how to be someone else, someone other people don't immediately reject. For a second I thought maybe he could've been involved in vaudeville as a teenager, like Cary Grant, but vaudeville was on its way out by the early 30s so that doesn't seem likely. He'd be too young for it.

But I imagine he really liked to read plays, even if he didn't necessarily have a way to act or to see theatre as a kid/young adult. I think in the chwm epilogue I wrote about him buying a used copy of Pygmalion (unless I deleted that in editing, I can't remember). I think he probably read a lot and listened to radio plays and listened to BBC News to perfect his respectable posh accent.

I've had a headcanon for awhile now that Curt and Owen used to have sneaky little late night movie dates, because they just both love movies so much. Curt loves the action and the fantasy, the heroics of 1950s cinema, probably westerns, war films, musicals. Owen likes noir, and sci-fi, and british kitchen sink social dramas (those might be a *bit* late for him but the precursors for that), and is fascinated with the mechanics of acting, picking things apart, like he almost sees it as research for their jobs.

That's mostly just because I love classic films from the 30s-60s and now any time I watch something that came out during their time period I find myself wondering how those characters would react to it.

To me, in my little headcanon, Owen Carvour meticulously built this image of the perfect dashing confident charming British spy. And eventually he meets Curt and he trusts Curt, he sees that they have these similar rough edges that they hide with arrogance and vanity, that they are both playing a role. Curt is the first person who more or less experiences the world the way Owen does- filtering out the unacceptable parts of themselves to get by.

Curt is the only person he ever feels safe even partially letting the act drop with. Not all the way, they could never be 100% vulnerable with each other like that. But enough that Owen feels... safe with Curt. Not just about their secret (although yes also that), but Curt is the only person Owen allows to see any vulnerability, any trace of who he really is. It's part of why what Curt does feels like such a betrayal, why Owen can't move past it. Because he had a relative safe harbor, one person on earth he trusted, and it nearly got him killed.

[wyrdle]

I'm totally with you on the pre-P3 timeline. I love love love having exact dates for everything, so the lack of information is sooooo frustrating. Even worse being a Sho fan as there's barely anything, best I've got is that the experiments on him took place in 1999 (mentioned by Labrys in the P3 side as she's heading to the top of the tower), and according to the manga he was 8 when he nearly died during "combat training", so if you take the info we get in the manga as canon then he'd be the about same age as the P3 3rd year trio. Idk if it's helpful in any way, I'm just a bit insane about the guy. Sorry for coming in here and rambling.

Oooh! Interesting!!! And don't worry about being insane about the characters lol I am the same with tomato boy's horrible dad. Honestly, the bit I focus on is whether it's before or after the explosion from 10 years ago for sequence of events.

Here are some of my footnotes: Spoilers and excessive yapping ahead

Child experimentation and pursuit of inducing personas + evokers were only conceived post-Mitsuru's awakening within Tartarus. Which is post-explosion. (Source: In-game notes, Persona 3 Club Book)

This makes a lot of sense what with the creation of Theurgy/new equipment for SEES. Not saying child experimentation didn't happen pre-explosion era, but it certainly didn't stop. These all had to be Kirijo group-sanctioned activities, Ikutsuki did not work alone and without support.

The above implies that Sho + Strega + other child victims were only worked on post-explosion too, as the only reason they did so was to gather as many Persona users to explore Tartarus. So maybe? Late 1999, immediately after explosion? Once Tartarus exploration trapped a bunch of kids and failed though, the experiments were dropped. Strega escaped before this. Sho got into a coma before this.

The issue with timeline starts when Sho's plume of dusk scenario seems to be the key to the creation of Anti-Shadow Weapons. The existence of Minazuki inspired the researchers to trial Aigis, Labrys and their brethren needing a plume of dusk to develop their sentience. (I need a source for this though, lol.) And Aigis needs to be around pre-explosion to be able to trap Death.

Soooooo. The timeline/sequence of events is shot to hell haha. I might've mixed up "Discovering a plume of dusk contains a soul in robots so they can use personas too >>> Let's try putting this in a child so he can get a persona" reasoning timeline... but it makes less sense in this direction.

Now for my personal thoughts: I believe the game wants to frame it as being "pre-explosion" and during Koetsu Kirijo era to idk. Bundle all the evil to that time, place all possible evil on Ikutsuki, and suggest they've turned a new leaf, but are maybe burdened by the ethical issues in pursuit of it. At least, that's how I've conceived Takeharu Kirijo. "The ends justify the means, unfortunately" type beat. It matches up with how he wants to distance himself from Mitsuru, too. Still, it is his Kirijo Group covering up the incident that killed Ken's mom, his Kirijo Group that decides Eiichirou Takeba should remain slandered in public eye and for Yukari + her mom to experience the fallout. Wtf.

Forewarning for Ikutsuki yapping ahead lol.

Unfortunately, they decided Ikutsuki (as the last representative of "old-world" Kirijo group) became the easiest scapegoat for all of this heinous shit. I have opinions about their use of him as a character like this, because it's so cheap. In P3 game's story alone, his (+Strega's) role in the story is meant to be an antithesis to Protag + SEES. So what does that mean exactly? Throwing away bonds/not forming them, seeing no meaning in living after pain, finding meaning/will to live in the pursuit of death etc.

These are all extremely sympathetic points for Strega, for Sho, for literally any character that "experiences the doomerisms". But in the case of Ikutsuki, suddenly it is of no consequence. The writers hate him/don't care for him as a character, when he could be so intriguing. Why does he believe the world needs to be remade? He's the last mouthpiece for the dead Kirijo group cultists too, so!!!!

All persona games have always explored how people are complex and how causing suffering is often the result of suffering- yet Shuji, the guy who actually kills himself / seeks death so doggedly / deludes himself into a prophecy that would make living just a bit longer more bearable is. Just crazy I guess. Guy who spent 10 years like this, taking solace in the fact that Nyx is coming...

Sho's actions mirror Ikutsuki's, Strega believe in Nyx, that implies something for Ikutsuki too lol. That's lost to everyone because he's never given more reason to exist on screen besides to torment people with his puns.

TLDR: I'm so so so salty about Shuji haha. Sorry, he's my fave because he's essentially "What if unhealable mental illness in man" which is horrifyingly sad. The concept of him is so delightfully doomed. Rounding back to topic (OOPS), the timeline messiness was likely to just set up some nebulous evil to contrast next to SEES as well as give them hurdles to overcome. I just think they should've fleshed out parallels in the human condition to experience hurt and contrast of how to live with it though, haha.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: trophic level ²

He's a former idol, one of the people sheltered and saved from the inevitable collapse of humanity- probably thinking that his eye was some huge sacrifice he'd made to survive. Well, welcome to reality; where you can count yourself lucky if you only loose your eye, and nothing else.

Tags/Warnings: Zombie apocalypse, Violence, blood and descriptive gore, enemies to lovers, former idol!Jungkook, jungkook is half blind in this, near death experiences

Additional Chapter Warnings: tsundere af reader, jungkook being jungkook, if you use some glasses you can spot some fluff, dirt ew, blood and wounds ew², mild Angst

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You're not feeling too good.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed this or not, but right now, you're at least happy he doesn't complain or bug you about it. You don't like staying in one place for too long, so you keep on walking behind him through abandoned cars and buildings around. He's not stupid- he doesn't enter the town itself, keeps himself and you in the background to avoid potential dead people trying to gain some dinner.

It's not long, though, when your dizziness gets the best of you, sending you straight into the bushes below, unable to get up for a good moment. "Wha- fuck!" He curses under his breath, instantly pulling you out the branches and into a sitting position. "What's wrong? What happened?" He wants to know, his brown eye roaming your features for any hint.

"Oh, thought I'd take a quick nap, you know." You tell him, wiping your cheek where there's a little cut now from the sharp branches you'd fallen into. "Give me a second. I'll be up in a few.." you mumble to yourself, while he simply refuses to listen it seems, trying to guess your temperature with the back of his hand.

"You're sweating." He tells mostly himself as his hand dips into your sweater and jacket, making your cheeks burn for a second from the bold action. "You got injured yesterday, right?" He asks, brows furrowed and face serious.

"Just a scrape. But yeah." You say, moving your leg that he instantly inspects by pulling on your pants. "Ow, hey! Thought you idols were such gentlemen." You curse, while he clicks his tongue, tilting his head a bit irritated.

"I'll just ignore that comment." He murmurs, before lifting the pant leg a bit more carefully.

"Well, awesome." You throw your hands up, seeing the angry red and splotchy skin around your cut.

"Its infected. Why didn't you say anything?" He scolds, and for the first time, you actually shrink in on yourself a bit at his harsh tone. Maybe you should put the whole idol-persona you've had in mind for him aside for now.

At least until you make sure he won't have to cut your leg off.

"I didn't want you to stop walking." You say quietly. "We can't stay in one place for long."

"Yeah and you can't walk with just one leg." He sighs. "I'm not a doctor, I've got honestly no idea what to do, other than.. things I've read on Google a few years back."

"Well, then use that world-wide-web knowledge! It's better than nothing?" You encourage, and he pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he looks around.

There's not many options, and even less are even slightly safe. He can't stay here with you, not with the potential amount of dead walking around in the more inner parts of the city. He has to move into a different direction for now, find some remote shelter that hopefully has some things left he can use, and then let you rest until you can keep up again.

"Alright." He says, dropping his backpack. "Get on." He tells you.

"And your backpack?" You wonder quietly.

"I'll carry it in my hand. Come on now." He urges. "We don't have time forever."

You quietly crawl onto his back like that, surprised at how easily he seems to lift and carry you, as he begins to walk. "I'm sorry." You mumble.

"For what?" He scoffs.

"Being a burden? This is horribly cliche." You complain. He shrugs as best as he can with you on his back.

"Just don't sacrifice yourself or something. Being lonely sucks." He complains quietly, and you're unsure if he meant that as a joke, or in all seriousness.

Maybe both.

In the small shed you find in the middle of the woods a few minutes away from town, there's no one there- not much supplies either, but enough to at least comfort you both for a day or two. Jungkook carefully places you down next to a cold and dirty stove, before he searches through the cabinets for anything.

"Yes! Fuck, yes, I'm so good, kissed by the gods, I swear!" He calls out but keeps his voice low, fist-bumping the air.

"Did you find alcohol?" You wonder.

"Even better!" He grins, before shaking a plastic bottle. "Penicillin!" He presents as if he's shooting a commercial.

Go figure. Some things never change.

"Alright, I'll clean that and while you're busy being a good girl and not scream at me while I'm doing that-" he looks at you from his halfway-kneeling position, old shirt in hand as well as a water bottle. You're a bit flustered at his choice of words. "-you can chug some of these bad boys so they'll kick in soon." He instructs, while you just nod dumbly.

He's surprisingly effective yet gentpe- though he has to keep a good grip on your ankle because you can't help but pull away every now and then. He's constantly making sure to whisper out praise whenever he can, concentrated on doing a good job wrapping gauze he'd found still packaged around your cut, not too tight and not too loose before he leaves you be.

"Hey I found some-" he calls out after securing some snacks they'd stored- only to find you asleep, halfway leaning against the stove and his backpack.

Quietly, Jungkook just sits down next to you, watching you, listening to any noises that might come from outside. The shed is safe, he'd secured all entrances and windows, but still, he keeps watch over you for as long as he can stay awake.

Because being lonely sucks, yeah-

But he's also really starting to like you.

[jsuh]

Ohmygod this whole taeil situation is such an eye opener. I just joined this fandom just a few months ago and I am disgusted cuz wtf??!? Even though he was barely active since I became a fan he still managed to create this innocent image in my head. This just goes to show how you truly don't know these people. I mean I knew that kpop is designed to feed into people's parasocialism but I thought I was safe from it. This news has changed my entire perspective. I wonder if the other members knew about this, I mean they were actually close right??! So did they just let it slide and acted as if everything is okay or was this mf just pretending to be good in front of EVERYBODY??? There was truly no way we could've known this. The persona that he had created was so pure that noone saw this coming.

My prayers go out to the victim. Hopefully justice will be served!!!

i'm sorry this is your experience so early into stanning the group! what i can say is that i hope they're no all bad and that we still have some genuine artists left in nct that really love their job and are good people. what's more, the fandom is full of great fans, i've made some great friends here.

regarding the rest of the boys i honestly don't know. i have no idea what to think, especially because there's so much going on that we don't have access to. taeil's friend of 17 years unfollowed him only today, so who knows, maybe he was hiding everything from the world the whole time. he wasn't a part of most schedules lately, but we don't really know if all that was the reason behind it (it probably was partially but you get it). in the end kpop is a horrible industry so maybe they were waiting for the statement to just officially unfollow. I REALLY DON'T KNOW i don't want to assume anything, but it's all just very disappointing.

i hope you're okay!

[f1-stuff]

Hello <3 This is not exactly going to be a question, but more of a rant, so bear with me.

To say that I'm loving your Charlos escort fic is an understatement, and I've been wanting to send this message before but I was procastinating and, also gathering the courage to re-read the last chapter, because it is so good it almost pains me (in a good way) to read, because I already know the turmoil of feelings I'm going to experience.

Basically, I think I understand why I'm liking this story so much. Of course the tension and the spicy bits that are *chefs kiss* help (a lot) but the way you're portraying Carlos and Charles is what's flooring me. The fact that you're creating an alternative universe, that has zero to do with the reality we know them in, but I can relate every action to (what we think) is their personality is amazing. Especially Carlos, the way you're making him this professional persona, that does his job exceptionally well and only shows his true side a little but, in the end, we know there's more to him, more passion, more dedication, more everything, but he tries to cover it for his own sake, it's just like Carlos and racing in real life: he has this side to him that shows he's strong, tries to be a bit cold and calculating but, in the end, he lets us see how deeply in love he is with racing, how he sold his soul to this sport and just wants to excel at it... but all of it in such an effortless and natural way, that comes so naturally to him, I just can't explain.

And, on the other hand, we have Charles and his chaotic intensity and I don't think I need to say much more: it's him to a T. I'm not implying that he is less complex than Carlos, but he has this pureness to him where he just seems to lay his emotions on a platter for anyone to see. Maybe I'm being a bit naive about him, but i think It's truly beautiful. And the way you're conveying it all in this piece of fiction leaves me a little breathless every chapter.

So sorry for this much complex and probably confusing analysis but, in case you missed it, it's just a huge huge compliment wrapped up in complicated feelings and words ahaha Thank you so much <3

Ahh thank you for such an in depth message 🥹 sorry it took me a minute to respond to this but know that I read it and it gave me so much encouragement to work on the next chapter ❤️

I’m so glad you’re enjoying the characterizations - what I will say about Charles is that we also have the benefit of being in his head to understand how he’s thinking and feeling. But I think that if we stepped into Carlos’ head, we might find…that he isn’t so sure how Charles is really feeling 👀😆

The situation’s definitely a complicated one, what with both of them having signed a contract. Charles is obviously smitten, but from Carlos’ POV, that doesn’t mean he necessarily wants anything beyond this contract…

(I’m over here rubbing my hands together like an evil mastermind bc I have this whole concept of what Carlos is thinking throughout this fic that no one else knows 🤭 But maybe once the whole thing’s posted, if there’s still questions, I could share my thoughts on his POV)

[fairycosmos]

girl hey how are you?? any tips when you get rejected from a job you really wanted?? 🤡🤡 please send me your wisdom also hope ur doing well hows georgie give her a kiss from me xx

godddddd i'm so sorry to hear this!! the job-hunting landscape is fucking awful at the minute and i know it's extremely difficult to hold out any sort of hope when stuff like this keeps happening. i feel like whenever this has happened to me that i was always told to just kind of move on and pick myself up and while that's true to an extent it's also like ok but i'm losing my mind this is the fucking worst so i think you should allow yourself room to feel like shit over it. don't judge it or try to push it away but don't internalise it or drown in it either (e.g don't fall into the trap of thinking in absolutes such as "this is always going to keep happening" or "i've got no chance of finding a good role because that was my only shot" - it just leads to pointless despair that often isn't based on anything factual.) it's ok to cry or vent or write or scream about it, it's ok that you feel bad because something bad happened. and no it won't always be like this and yes you will have ample opportunity in the future to find another version of your dream job but recognising that right now you're in pain can be healthy and good, too. whenever i'm job-hunting i always try to get to a place where rejection just feels like a dull hit and then i move on to the next, like truly i just force myself to go in with no expectations, fuck it nothings real, trying out whatever persona i think they'll like best and then leaving it all behind me when i get the rejection email LOL. but when it's a position you deeply want, understandably, you'd need some time and space to process not getting it. i rmr what sometimes made me feel a tiny bit better was going over what i learned from the experience, even if it was just getting more comfortable in an interview setting or answering a question well, and building a plan to optimise my approach and basically give myself a better shot at the next interview based on the one i'd lost out on. i could console myself by saying at least i'm growing and at least i'm building up my interview skills and how i present myself every time i do this crap. i can say it wasn't a waste of time even if i didn't get it. if they offer feedback ask for some so you can work on whatever so-called "weak" spots they perceived if any (at the same time though seriously! do not internalise anything job people say to you as like a severe moral flaw like these people would reject an applicant for not smiling enough it's truly meaningless. but for the sake of job-hunting it's just something to keep in mind.) anyway i've noticed sometimes we feel a bit better about this sort of thing if we're able to exert some control over it, if there's some actionable steps we can take like working on our speaking skills or upgrading your CV or whatever. ultimately i think it's good to remember that there are so many different ways for your life to turn out well. the illusion of one path being the absolute key to everything you've ever wanted or dreamed of is just that, an illusion. there's endless versions of the future spanning out in front of you and you have happiness in so many of them - when it comes to friendships, jobs, dating, whatever - there's no singular right way to "be." sending you a massive hug. i know words ring hollow then you feel terrible so maybe come back to this another day if you want to. will give georgie the biggest forehead kiss from you <3 mwah xx

[erabu-san]

So, about your found family head canon, I absolutely LOVE it and I wanted to give you my own take on it!!

I like to also include Candace, Razor, and Wanderer (I know that one might not make sense but hear me out lmao)

I think Cyno would Candace as a big sister! She gives off that vibe to everyone but I feel like she would be more close with Cyno considering they're both from. Or maybe they knew each other while Cyno lived in the desert. (We NEED more more Cyno lore *sob*)

As for Razor, I think during their visit to Mondstadt Razor would become intrigued with Cyno because of the ears on his helmet (hat?). Also....those two are suspiciously alike🤨 white hair, red eyes... (Cyno has lighter eyes but they're similar) I wouldn't be surprised if genshin pulled a long lost brother thing on us🧍 Anyway, I think they would become close, and Razor would look up to him a lot!! He would start to see Cyno as his "lupical" and I think Cyno would enjoy spending time with Razor, teaching him fighting tactics and so on

And Wanderer (or Scaramouche). I think his bratty mean persona would make him really...hard to be close to. But I think he and Collei would actually be somewhat "friends". I think the traveler would be talking about Collei to Wanderer and bring up her relationship with Dottore which would immediately peak his interest. And maybe he would go to see her to ask her about it, and then they would be able to bond over being victims of Dottore. I think he would gain the role of the "overprotective big brother" and glare at anyone who dare LOOK at her the wrong way. I'm not saying this relationship would be likely, it's just fun to think about!

I also think about how awkward it would be bringing up the time when Tighnari got struck by lightning....

"Master Tighnari actually got struck by lightning once! Now he has a scar on his back!"

"*Nervous sweating* Yeah......about that-"

I also hc that Kaveh and Tighnari are childhood friends!

Sorry I know I typed a lot😭

Have a nice day!

WAAAAH Cyno and Candace are so BESTIE CODED !!! Yes candace give a big sister vibe ! I love to imagine that Cyno likes visiting Candace, when he has time... And also I imagine he participate to girls party once, with Candace Dehya Nilou Dunyarzad and Setaria. Idk. I just feel like he wants to be included. Dehya and Setaria would be a bit against at first but Candace Nilou Dunyarzad thought the idea funny, so he joined. In the end, they all spend great time ! For Razor and Cyno, yes !!! I agree with your idea. I also enjoy a lot the potential friendship between Collei and Razor !! They are both studying language, they could study together. Since Razor has more difficulty about language, Collei would help him (and I am sure she will feel accomplishment,, like,,, she is helping someone!!! in studying!!)

Razor would definitively talk about Varka to Cyno ahahaha (i love varka plz when is he playable, at least i need to know how does he look like) And for Wanderer... I saw a lot of fanart of Collei and him, trashtalking about dottore. It would be super cool if Wanderer first friend (after his redemption arc, if we don't count Nahida nor Traveler) is Collei ! I have another scenario for them starting to talk Wanderer is just chilling in Avidya Forest (missing school). Then he heard a voice in a tree... like wtf. It was a girl voice, ranting about her life. He wouldn't care a lot but then he heard the mention of Dottore. The curiosity gain him. Trash talk about dottore ?? It is not often he can hear it. Bro is eardropping (bad thing to do) but Collei notice him (someone find her hidden place, she could die of embarrassment) but Wanderer couldn't help himself to trashtalk to dottore- and they keep talking But I wonder... if Scaramouche participate in those same experiment, and saw Collei ? He was about to end the conversation, feeling guilty, and never talk to Collei again, but Collei thank him for the talk. Maybe it wouldn't bad to see her again, one day ? OOOH YOUKNOW I AM SURE KAVEH AND TIGHNARI MET WHEN THEY WERE KID. I MEAN !!!! Their parents knows each other when they were young. Maybe they met, but they wasn't that close. After Kaveh asked some advice for his project, they started to talk more, and then their friendship come more naturally Have a nice day too!!!

[thefirstknife]

Was looking through some older posts of yours and you had answered in an ask about Guardians changing classes and Rezzyl Azir/Dredgen Yor that:

“So while they may be naturally attune more towards some aspect of Light wielding, they still have to train to actually become their class in full.”

Can you elaborate a little more on that. Like how long would that take and how extensive of the training? Has there been any lore going more into detail about that?

Sorry if that’s a lot. Thank you for everything you do for this community it’s Greatly appreciated!!

It's okay!

Unfortunately, we don't really know how that took place. With Rezyl Azzir/Dredgen Yor it's super hard to say because he's very much a mythologised figure. His transformation into Yor was so mysterious and complete that most people never knew it used to be Rezyl and that was by his own design.

So how long it took him to get into the persona of Dredgen Yor and start behaving more like a Hunter? We have no clue. It might have been a gradual transformation as the Thorn corruption was spreading. Also, since we have no information on Dredgen Yor ever using any Light abilities, we don't even know if he only dressed as Hunter or if he started using what we would typically associate with Hunter abilities. So ultimately we don't even know if he actually trained in any Hunter disciplines.

This is especially a problem for Dredgen Yor in particular because he was such a reviled figure that I don't think he would've had the option to actually have a Hunter or Hunters teaching him. He might've learned through observation only and learned what he could. It was also fairly imperfect for him, as you can see on his cloak that the Hunter symbol isn't quite made properly. This maybe hints that without a proper teacher and enough time, one can't really learn these things easily. But that's purely speculative.

Felwinter also doesn't specify how long it took him to learn cross-class abilities (he learned shoulder charge from Titans). He of course didn't switch his class entirely, but learning other abilities surely takes time. However, we don't know how much time.

Outside of simply gameplay reasons, that's a really interesting question. Perhaps Ghosts have something to do with, as well as maybe some intrinsic attunement to the Light. Maybe the way the Light manifests in someone newly rezed is innately more geared towards a specific type of ability. But then in order to truly perfect this ability, one has to train for it. It's very unclear how it works and we have no idea what are all the elements that affect someone becoming a class or choosing a subclass.

There's some information on newly rezed Guardians in lore. For example, this one from Ghost Stories which is a Ghost recounting his experience with rezing his Guardian for the first time and that Guardian being forced to fight the moment she was rezed:

Problem was… my Guardian—the one I'd spent a very long time looking for—was lying dormant in their path: a lifeless husk in need of a wake-up call before her remains were atomized and I was left, for eternity, without my chosen. That I'd found her seconds before the Red Legion's survey team arrived was… unfortunate. But I had to do what I had to do. Some risks, after all, are worth taking. It was now or never. And besides, there's no timing like bad timing. I opened myself up to the Traveler's gift and enveloped her in Light just as the mining rig settled. My new Guardian gasped and sat up, crying out as if waking from a nightmare.

Basically, the Ghost had to rez her before the remain would be permanently destroyed, becoming unrecoverable. After the initial shock, the Guardian immediately started fighting. With her bare hands. No Light was used and there's no real indication of her class or subclass. There's a mention of her charging, but it's not clear if this is a Titan-type charge. Dodging is also mentioned. Nothing about Light is shown. I'm thinking that it's far more likely that new Guardians don't pick any specific class/subclass until a bit later and that us being rezed with a class is just a gameplay feature. Basically, all Guardians have the potential to use Light and to attune to certain abilities, but at the end of the day they still have to be taught and learned.

Osiris also recounts his experience of seeing Aunor being rezed for the first time.

"I remember the day you were raised," Osiris says with hushed strength. "Curled up beneath a ruined bus, screaming for help. Too terrified to listen to your Ghost, too frightened to hold the gun it had nudged under the wreck for you."

It seems getting to a weapon was more important than Light, possibly because newly rezed Guardians aren't really capable of doing anything specific with it. Which means they have to learn it later, possibly through exploring it on their own or with a teacher (or both). There has to be something innate about it, I think; that everyone's spark is inherenty leaning more into some specific way to use the Light, which then turns into a class through training and learning. Osiris himself is shown, very early in the Dark Age, as wielding Dawnblade. We don't know how long it's been since he was rezed here, but Dawnblade is very much defined almost exactly as we know it even that early in the Dark Age. Very curious.

Already mentioned Felwinter, but if you look at his lore book, he is never shown using the Light here. When he's rezed, he's just confused and in danger, mostly shown running away and using weapons. When he fights a Warlord over what would later become Felwinter's Peak, it is only said that Felwinter shot the Warlord's Ghost. On page 4 of the lore book, Felwinter meets another Exo Guardian and they get into a fight against the frames and only the other Exo is shown using the Light, much to his own surprise:

It was Gryphon who saved them in the end, with three bolts of Arc Light that erupted out of his hands. As the frames closest to them disintegrated in a shower of blue light, Gryphon whooped and said, breathlessly, "I've never done that before."

This is super vague as far as Light abilities go. No clue what class Gryphon-11 would be here. He was capable of using the Light, though clearly has not done so before, and his Light isn't defined into any specific class or ability.

Felwinter later became known for being a void user, but it seems that only came to prominence after he joined with the Iron Lords. He probably ended up favouring the Warlock class for a variety of reasons, but he wasn't really rezed as one in the same sense that it happens to us in the game.

This has also been shown with Zavala in his story trailer. He is never shown using his Light in his early fights; the first time we see him wielding it in the trailer is later in the City.

It's a really interesting thing to think about and so far, we've seen a lot of different things, both in lore and gameplay itself. Lore seems to imply that when a Guardian is rezed, they don't immediately know their class and they don't use their Light right away. But then again, in gameplay we get the Light really quickly. Could also be to indicate that the Young Wolf is special! But either way, there's still a lot that's not super well defined and now with Lucent Hive, the'es even more questions. Seems like the reason they mimic our classes and subclasses is probably because that's what Savathun learned while exploring the Light, as well as possibly something tied to Ghosts and how they've learned that Guardians work. I'm hoping for more on the Lucent Hive over this topic, as their experience would be unique and allow us to study the process in a way that we couldn't do back in the Dark Age.

[miloucomehome]

VIVANT EPISODE 7 THOUGHTS

(protip: never read the official episode titles from TB/S on T/Ver. Episode 7's could be considered a spoiler)

Wow. And wowowwow...

Pictured: Me finding yet more details I missed during the first two watchthroughs

Pictured 2: My reaction when I notice something brought up in this week's episode actually makes a statement/profile we saw a number of episodes ago look really suspicious.

First: Holy shit what the hell?! WHAT THE HELL NOGI?!

Second:

Kohinata, you're not off the hook! I don't remember which episode Kohinata's Nagano gets interrogated, but if I recall...didn't we learn that he was former JSDF? Isn't that what made him a prime suspect to Nozaki and Public Security? I kind of remember him saying how he left the forces...but wasn't he active in the 80s? We learned this week that Balka fell into civil war in 1983 and that Nogi Suguru (Nogi's dad) is reported dead in 1984 when he ends up dragged into the factional conflict. He did have a reaction when Nogi name-dropped Zayir/Zahir and Nogi F did go right up to his face and sniff him, stating he literally smelled "off"/suspicious.

(Kohinata always plays sus characters. I don't mind if in the end, it turns out he's just an old dude who wanted to hang out with a younger woman because his marriage is on the rocks, but MIU404, MOZU and even S1 of Emergency Interrogation Room set me up for years of doubt XDDD.)

Shinjo (gone from sus to maybe sus idk) brought up good points: why didn't Suguru communicate with Public Security in the 80s to tell them he was alive. I wonder if a flashback episode is around the corner...the late 70s to 80s seem like they might be really important. If Nozaki is in his 50s, then any older character we've seen could potentially be important a future flashback episode. If there's one planned.

Nozaki Mamoru = Canon gay lead? IN PRIMETIME JP SUNDAY NIGHT TV?!

(I'll take it. Even if they forget about it or reverse course)

One of the only pieces of good news in this episode--writers confirming, as much as jdrama will allow them to outside of a BL drama, that Nozaki is gay. Not only that but he had loved another man: Liu Mingxuan. (And that it seems like Liu liked him first before he noticed or wanted to commit but did? Maybe he was closeted back then and worried it could be used against him?)

Nozaki: Well, in your position, it's not like you can have a normal love life, can you? (pause) Nogi: Nozaki-san...? Nozaki: Yeah? Nogi: Could it be that you... Nozaki: (laughs) I'm sorry. I can't help but look [at you]. Nozaki: You look just like him. Nogi: I do? Nozaki: It's like I'm looking at the junior who I lovedーLiu Mingxuen. He was a colleague of mine when I worked as a liaison at the embassy in Beijing. Nogi: And I look like him? Nozaki: Yeah. But he's not in this world anymore...

I did find this part oddly curious? worrying?:

Nozaki: He worked so hard for me. He was serious and tried so hard to get me to like him. But because of that... (smile fades) I ended up going over the line during the interrogation <-- this part Nogi: So then...that's when...? Nozaki: If I had actually paid a little bit more attention to him, he wouldn't be dead. That, for me, is my one failure.

The part I "highlighted", the "I ended up going over the line during the interrogation" (other TLs welcome!) part, has me wondering...what happened. And when. He's jovial and charismatic, but Nozaki still is a state intelligence officer. What could've happened?

I'll also headcanon that Nozaki sharing his story about his last lover and how Nogi resembles him, is a roundabout way of confirming Nogi's question was maybe "Could it be that...you like me?".😇🙏

I don't watch BL dramas (because I simply don't know which ones are?), but I've seen the odd drama or two with vaguely-gay-but-we-won't-say characters (with some exceptions: Nigehaji, for example has three). The fact that so far Nozaki is older, has been in love, exudes life experience, and has a different personality and energy from the usual gay characters I've seen in jdrama, is something. He also cares. He's competent at his job. He comes off as really cool, too.

Also his wink is dangerous. I take 500,000+ pts in damage each time (thank you.).

I'm very inclined to believe that despite the increased frostiness and visible gradual distancing in their friendship (see: the last two episodes T_T)), Nozaki was being honest. I also would like to believe that Nogi's line to him later was somewhat reciprocal?

(I know we love to see Nozaki be all close to Nogi, but I'm actually also really enjoying the frostiness of their relationship and how they're both trying to maintain façades more than ever with each other--Nogi as he tries to deceive Nozaki more and Nozaki as he tries to act as he always has despite the very significant information he's been learning about Nogi's true identity)

But as much as I'm inclined to believe his story, jdramas have the ability to betray and I'm steeling myself ahaha.

Nogi's cryptic message to Nozaki on the plane

I totally misread this scene at first as an "end of relationship" moment...but I later felt it was a compliment...then a potential coded message? Jdrama detectives on twitter think it may have been purposefully cryptic/metaphorical as a message to Nozaki, even planting a kind of signal to him--"if something goes wrong, watch for my signals" or something. (Among so many other possibilities)

But it also felt...affectionate? Nogi gently placing his hand on top of Nozaki's and gently clasping(?) it before talking to him felt genuinely kind. The slow letting go of his hand felt, sad almost?

The first idiom used is apparently quite old (1800s) and together with the second half reads:

あなたは鶏群の一鶴、眼光紙背に徹す

(For the sake of keeping it cryptic and rare-sounding, following the proposed definitions in the dictionary):

"You are a great figure among men; one who is able to read between the lines"

Literally (extra deep?):

You are a singular crane among a flock of ducklings chickens, able to read between the lines

Given how later the tracker Nogi removed and placed in some kind of signal blocking pouch, is reactivated and leads Nozaki, Chenggis and his officers to the site with the unconscious/dead Vostania members...Nozaki notices the "calling card" left by Nogi too before he receives a message that really catches his attention. I wonder if in that moment Nozaki's ability to "read between the lines" and grasp at the deeper meaning behind the evidence he finds kicks in.

I also feel like Nogi F realizes that he can trust Nozaki? Or at least that he believes he's exceptional and intelligent?

(I also believe that Nogi F was the one talking to Nozaki during that scene. Sorry Yuusuke! XD)

Now...my most recent "AFHDSKJHFSD AAAH" and "HMM 🤔🤔🤔🤔" discovery--

6 BEPPAN BODYCAMS BUT ONLY 5 ARE NAMED ON THE SCREEN IN THE CONTROL ROOM!!!

The most recent find--

The members of Beppan chosen for the Vostania-Tent meetup interception mission that were all gunned down by Nogi all had their bodycams named...except for Nogi's. That's such a strange thing to overlook.

Not only that, but weren't they all wearing bulletproof vests? Were the bullets in Nokor's gun for piercing bulletproof vests? I don't think the 6 willingly would go into danger without their vests...

COPIUM: Nogi and the Commander are in on it. This is their operation. Nogi didn't betray Beppan. Commander Sakurai's reaction may have been because of Nogi's methods and/or who was shot. If any of the 4 survived, it'll be interesting to find out what they think... (I think that...maybe each group in this series will have traitors of different kinds in their midst? Or maybe we learn about other members of Public Security, Beppan or Tent that neither of the revealed agents of either group are aware of?)

EDIT: THIS GUY LIVES! (credit to the fans in the VIVANT thoughts tag on Twitter) In the "Next Arc" trailer when ep 3 ended, they show Kumagai's actor, Nishiyama Jun, in hospital robes:

Now I'm extra curious. If the others are dead and only Kumagai and Kurosu live (please live), then maybe the Commander and Nogi suspected someone among them was a mole?

Sam is also in that trailer (earlier video?) maybe that wasn't him in episode 5 hahahahaha (denial)

H*rry P*tter -- Nozaki the geek

I made another post about this, but the HP reference and DVD set drop is actually likely really important, I think. I really do believe it's to find a subtle way to keep Drum by Jamine's side and keep watch over her (whether for Public Security or because his intuition is going wild and he's worried for her safety) The post is here and in summary, my realization is that his words to Drum as they leave Jamine's hospital room has me thinking he's setting Drum up to keep near-continuous watch of her later on!

Nozaki : Alright then Drum, let's go grab a bite to eat. Drum: 😄😄😄!!! Nozaki : See you, Nogi Nogi: (nods, smiling) Nozaki (as he leaves Jamine's hospital room with Drum): Oh yeah, that's right, there's no Mongolian [version]— Make sure you translate it properly for her [while she watches], alright?

Also, for real though, I'd like to believe that during happier times for everyone in that franchise's boom, Nozaki was definitely a fan and did the midnight lineups and dressed up with his buddies (or relatives?) for the movies and books. If he's not using a ruse, my headcanon is that he's been able to enjoy life in some ways and indulge in some hobbies.

(Also: If I were to romanize スネイプ社, it'd be using Mongolian Cyrillic romanization. "Snape Co." is too awkward lol and from what small research into Mongolian I've done, "sna" will not produce the same sound as it does in English. Maybe Snép? Snaype? Snaïp?? Snêip??? Snayipp??)

Is this is a hint that he's going to act as a double spy...?

I'm excited and scared to see how Nokor and Nogi will face off. Nino's delivery of the line "Hey there, brother of mine" was menacing in the episode 8 preview. (I'm only familiar with Matsumoto Jun's acting in 99,0%)

I wonder what Nozaki received on his phone. And poor Kurosu...he's living up to the kanji associated to him in the early promo cast announcement teaser of 信頼 (shinrai - trust, faith), but it's getting thrown back in his face in the worst way by this apparent(??) betrayal by Nogi?? I feel awful for Kurosu--he put a lot of faith in Nogi believing this betrayal, the capture, and the injuries, were all part of his plan...when apparently they're not. I want to go back in time to this moment:

I wonder if each character's kanji words will mean they'll each come face to face with that crashing down on them. Kurosu is sure to trust Nogi less, if at all, if it turns out this was all part of some bigger plan....maybe? A bit of a "One must fall before they can come back stronger" type of theme? (I wonder how Kurosu ended up partnered up with Nogi?) I'm still so sad over his "This is all part of the operation, right?" and "You did this because it's part of the plan, right?"....Kurosu really trusted Nogi.

To end (Because I could go on for a while I think)---

Nozaki and his "Oh wow oh no this sucks. It would've been great if someone had stuck another tracking device on Nogi somehow without him noticing, eh?" pose (Chenggis, meanwhile: $@%#!$#!%):

Chenggis being cute. CHENGGIS BEING CUTE??

Wink = 5,000,000pt damage

Thanks for reading to the end. Sorry if my thoughts were all over the place--I made a draft of this on Monday and meant to post it but was out in the evening and came home and was too tired XD;;.