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#sorry I lost motivation to make it cleaner
eiswolfzero · 14 hours
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Diana: Isn't Batman going to fly the Javelin?
Clark: Uh no, he's briefing Flash in the back
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gaberfaber · 8 months
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Artwork I’m not gonna finish. It was inspired by My Chemical Romance’s Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge album cover (that was drawn by Gerard Way). ALSO IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
If any of you have read my fic The Life of a Horrid Boy, you were probably wondering about the next update. The thing is.
I’ve lost all motivation to keep working on it.
Good thing to remember is that I’m not abandoning it. At least I’m going to try not to. The problem I have with it is that I no longer like the story that the fic is about. I have a completely new writing style then what I did 2-3 years ago. The story is old, and yes it’s almost completed, just a few chapters left, but I fell out of love with the story. I have other fics I would love to act on, but I feel like I can’t because of TLoaHB is unfinished. There’s also so many writing issues in it, that I just can’t fix unless I rewrite the entire thing. I have other Horrid Henry, and other fandom fics I would love to write for, so I think I’m just going to continue on those, before I find motivation to keep working on TLoaHB. I felt so overwhelmed with amount of popularity it had, I’m glad people like it, it’s honestly what I want, but since it’s so old, I just don’t want to finish it. I might will, but idk. My next Horrid Henry fic idea is called ‘Mamma Mia’ I don’t want to spoil it, but it is pretty different from TLoaHB, but also still High School Romance. I just want to branch out into these characters issues more than what I did in TLoaHB. In TLoaHB is pretty messy, I want something cleaner. Something easy to understand. There was so much for the romance in TLoaHB, and I still want that, but I really want to dig into these characters issues. Sorry for making you guys wait until now to know this. I might make an update explaining what I did here but on Wattpad, but I also don’t want to make a new chapter just to explain that I’m not discontinuing but I’m having a break. So I want to let myself be free and do what I want to do. Thank you for reading TLoaHB if you did. It might get updated. The next chapter is unifinished, might or might not post it. Thank you, your comments meant the world to me. Best 2-3 years of writing I’ve ever lived. ❤️❤️❤️
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wellitsjustmeagain · 10 months
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Sappy sleepy moment here now that I've just crawled into bed and have to return to work tomorrow
Sorry, using tumblr as a journal again, but it's a nice way to work through things. 💕
Often I think about the philosophy teacher who taught the ethics course I had to take in college. He was the type of teacher who stood in front of the classroom without notes, could talk for the two hour period in a way that was almost leisurely and easy to understand, and answered any and all questions with barely hesitation off the cuff.
You could tell he liked what he did. He enjoyed the subject matter, and knew the course in a way that looked effortless. I love teachers who can talk about complicated subjects in easy ways. Knowing the content so familiarly that you can meet people at every level. It makes it accessible. I feel like being able to accurately turn jargon into common language is such a testament to a deep understanding and the work that goes into really knowing something. Often when I learn things my biggest goal is getting to a point where I could explain it to someone else.
ANYWAY, I don't agree with a lot of Aristotle, and to be honest I don't remember as much from the course as I'd like to in general. So earnestly, I can't speak much to moral ethics in a way that's backed by any of the greats, and in sorry if I butcher this entirely haha. But I enjoyed the concept of intention in habits. That to do things well, meant to do things intentionally and exceptionally over and over again. That within the bell curve of being good at something can mean you become carelessly confident in the act of doing what you had once put quality effort into. No longer mindfully doing the tasks you've done a million times.
I've spent a lot of time on vacation dreading going back, and dreading what I have or have not done productively. Of feeling like I should be fixing my life with this time and creating new and interesting things. To have a great deal to show for it. But the truth is, that I just needed rest! And needed to be aimless. And I needed to not have anyone need anything from me for periods of time. That hanging out with family, sometimes friends, and rearranging and cleaning and going through things in my apartment is good! That the times I took notes were good! That it was okay that I slept a lot and spent majority of my time getting lost in the sisyphean tasks of dishes and laundry and tidy ups while twitch streams and vods played in the background!
I put in a lot of work over the last few years in regard to shame not being a good motivator for me. That I constantly feel shameful. Shameful of doing too much or not enough. Shame over not knowing what to do or what the right thing to do is. Or even what order to do things in, and then not doing anything in a decision paralysis stupor. Nothing constructive comes from this shame, so it had to be reworked.
And I got really good at it! But I was good at it because I was mindful of it. Because I made sure to steer thoughts that weren't productive into kinder, and more understanding alternatives. But in that confidence of getting better, it's easy to think I no longer needed that effort. That I've fixed it, and am cured! But throughout this entire vacation I was so harsh with myself, and I'm realizing now that that's kind of silly, and unnecessary. So we're rephrasing!
I'm proud of myself for crawling into bed earlier (though it's now well past 1am, it was bound to happen)
I'm proud of myself for getting things cozy and cleaner before the week started. For sneaking in dishes before quiet hours. And I'm proud of myself for doing some sort of bed time routine before crawling under the covers. I'm proud of myself for remembering my alarm!
I'm proud of the progress I made to change my living space. And I'm proud of the doodles I did here and there.
I'm proud of the amount of time I slept. I'm proud of asking for help when I've needed it. And I'm proud of myself for being kind and thoughtful to myself right now, despite feeling so much dread about returning to work.
I'm proud of myself for knowing that it feels really good when someone else sings these praises to me instead, but it's just as good and important (if not more so) that I do it for myself.
It's all going to be ok. It'll take practice, always, but I'll be ok!!
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sablegear0 · 1 year
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i saw your post about the final ep of technoroid and i have really really long ask incoming, i'm sorry, I had to bc i have too much to say for the reply feature LMAO
I have answers to some of those questions as someone who's read the game story. first, I have to agree that it should've been two episodes. I feel like episodes 11 and 12 should've been 3 episodes, it would've been a much better pace. second, i also think the epilogue doesn't answer any questions. The game starts with KNOCC in sleep mode in some random storage room in Babel with no memories, and Stand Alone are all robots now, so I was REALLY dying to find out what happened. Stand Alone I could guess what happened, but the ending of the anime almost contradicts how KNOCC ends up. also, in the game, it seems like KNOCC's victory at the end of the anime was suppressed? because no one remembers who they are. Hell, even Bora doesn't (though he may just be withholding). The only ones who seem to remember who they are are Esora and Nobel. So I REALLY wanna know how it came to that. third, about Bora. i was also really looking forward to Bora's emotional awakening scene. in the game, he is a detective who has a lot of hatred for both the police and the WG (and also Babel). the latter makes sense, but the former?? he's full on ACAB in the game which is really fucking hilarious in my opinion. he's a high level climber in Babel too, but he doesn't partake much and only did it for the privileges of being "inside" the tower. (i also think he looks better with his headphones btw. i miss them. but he also looks completely different in game.) fourth, i was actually expecting something darker to have happened to kite (i think a lot of people who read the game story feel the same) and i had theories and shit in my head, so kite donating his organs by his free will was a bit anticlimactic for me? and as a kite fan myself i also felt like i really don't know enough about human him
fifth, about nobel. Yeah, no i'm lost too. in the game it's revealed that he's a "Dark Master" which is what illegal android builders are called. he says he does research on robotics but what it is specifically i have no idea. i'm pretty sure he built the two robots that are currently working as bora's partners in his detective agency, but it's a wild guess. sixth, there's a lot of in game story things I can't possibly cover in one single ask so feel free to hit me up i need someone to go insane about this franchise with
Thanks for reaching out! It's exciting to find other people getting into something I'm super new to. Between this ask and your big long awesome summary post, I'm beginning to suspect something about Technoroid the game vs Technoroid the anime... (This is one got long, oh boy)
I'm wondering if they may be slightly divergent timelines. You mention the anime is meant to be a sort of prequel/set-up to the events of the game, but the differences that arise between them lead me to suspect either a) some drastic changes happen over the time-skip (not unheard of but maybe unlikely? There are a lot of contradictions arising), or b) that they're not directly related. From what I gather, the game seems to be a much "darker" timeline to what the anime suggests may come to pass.
We can't rule out the possibility that things were changed on the anime side for the sake of telling a more coherent story, however. You can cram a lot more content into a game (esp a platform like a mobile/gatcha) than about 4.5 hrs of a single season of anime. Making changes to characters' motivations or backgrounds to simplify their arc just makes for cleaner presentation. Thinking specifically about Kite/Kaito here; there's absolutely a disconnect between his apparent fate in the game and his choices in the anime. We only had 12 episodes to introduce, characterize, and face-turn the mean rival character. It's a clear arc within that span, but doesn't connect cleanly to the events of Unison Heart because it was likely trimmed down for time and clarity. Plus a happy(ish) ending with only a mild amount of ambiguity is a nice way to wrap up a single-season run. (However it did just occur to me that the object Esola drops in the anime's timeskip ending is an apple... oh the symbolism, the foreshadowing!)
Still, the differences do offer some intrigue and a fair amount of room for theorizing and creating. This is exactly the kind of undefined space bloggers and fanfic writers thrive in, after all. There is apparently a manga currently in serialization so it's also possible it may tie things together, or even offer another "timeline" to the story. Who knows. I'll have to track it down and take a look. And I might have to play the damn gatcha game too...gr...
Regarding the apparent "suppression" of KNOCC's victory; on the one hand, that really sucks. They worked hard and literally braved death to get that win. On the other, from a real-world standpoint, I can kind of understand how they themselves end up kind of obscure. Consider how fast today's media cycle is, then amplify that into the near-ish future. A short-lived, "flash-in-the-pan" Climber group is liable to be forgotten pretty quickly, even if their success did mark a huge civil rights win for robot-kind. However we can't rule out the likely explanation that there may be some canon media suppression. We know the Exclusionists have those strings to pull and it would make perfect sense to do so. (As an aside, I wonder how "sleep-mode" interacts with the limited lifespan clause. Maybe it just puts their timer on "pause" for a while, like cryo-stasis would for a human...?)
Good to hear my boy Bora is making his way in the world and has some friends to help. It's kind of awesome that he went independent after downloading a conscience. What's that saying? There are no "good" cops because "good" cops quit? Blows my mind a bit to try to think of him as a Climber but I guess a) that's the game's main framing so he needs a reason to be there and b) Babel's performers do have a lot of social clout, it's prudent to get into that circle if you're, say, possibly investigating some political corruption. He also has that handsome voice, I bet he does just fine.
It tickles me that Nobel remains a weird, morally-dubious cryptid across both halves of this. I would expect nothing less, if I'm being honest. While I was mulling over this ask, I had a deep think about him illegally building androids and I realized something. Assuming little else changes about androids besides having personhood under the law (as in, no longer being able to be purchased or owned as property) and having limited lifespans... They're going to "die out." Presumably personhood complicates the process of "buying" (hiring from scratch?) an android, and if Exclusionist sympathies still persist, nobody's going to buy or build more androids. Society is still explicitly capitalist; there's little profit to be made from buying or selling a worker-entity that may decide to up and leave one day. All you'd be doing is essentially sponsoring a person into existence. Which is cool from a social standpoint but not a great business move. Nobel might just be taking it upon himself to perpetuate his "species" since he's realized it's not likely anyone else will. (And if that isn't the case, I'm damn well going to write about it because that shit is compelling to me.)
Well met, @ordinaryxtreme, I look forward to geeking out with you in the future 🤝
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secretbangtnn · 3 years
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Love Lies | kth I
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➤ summary : You never had it easy. From the first day of your life it seemed like fate was a big joke, making every effort to make you feel miserable. Shortly after taking the first step into adulthood, you are convinced that childhood doom follows you like a shadow. On the verge of being broke without any help, you take your friends advice and try your hand in industry you have no idea about.
➤ genre : CEO! au, prostitution but not really au, strangers to enemies to lovers, Smut, fluff, angst
➤ pairing : Taehyung x reader ft. Jimin (This chapter Jimin x reader)
➤ ratings : 18+ NSFW
➤words : 10k
➤ warnings : swearing, prostitution, sex for money, mentions of mental health, toxic household, mentions of violence, explicit sexual content, mxm, fxm, family problems, dishearitance, toxic relationship, Taehyung is bad at feelings, reader is lost, soft boy jimin, sexy hot taehyung (couse that will need a warning) - more to be added
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notes ~
I finally did it! I'm so sorry for the wait and how the chapter came out - it's a little more messy than I predicted but i wanted to give you something before the big story. I promise the next chapter is going to start with the big action and main plot and finally with Taehyung. I really hope for some feedback, I worked hard for it to be done before the next week and even though it may seem boring i really hope it’s okay.
taglist:
@jinssexytoe @danyxthirstae01 @alwaysasadaesthetic @luvmingyu @chimincubus @minshookie29
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Underneath the sunrise
Show me where your love lies
Relationships that are based on lies never last long and everyone who found themselves in artificial feelings, knows of the truth of those words. Although that sweet sinful lie sometimes replaces that thing we could have never got.
You never thought about yourself as someone low, at least not that low to kneel to beg of something so materialistic like money.
You respected yourself at the same time being sure that you would fight everything alone. Just like a good fighter - you didn't need a good sword in a big war. Even once in your whole life you wouldn't have thought of stepping that low to actually work as a cleaner in old school or supermarket lady, that couldn't even use the calculator right.
How ironic, we love when inevitable doom falls on people that did not deserve it.
You were taught from the beginning, how to live, what to do, how to look, and the most important who to listen to. It's so weird when we find a character that's not extremely bad or good, not the shy mouse of the school, also not the hot rebellious cool girl with too big ego, and mouth so unbelievable that you actually start to think if you have ever met someone without such basic manners.
Fact is that you are bland, your life never yours to live, as someone recorded it with a script in their hands, and a plan for an ending and second part. It was frustrating knowing how many people never cared about you, however you could not say that you indeed did too.
Lessons were taught, those made you somehow resistant to disappointments in life. First happening in early stage, not even first year of your high school, people started to know - know about this and that, about family of yours and how privileged they would be if they had you on their side.
But you did not have a problem with it, mindset so set that you liked to think about money as a guarantee of friendship. And with this thought you let the first people use you, not minding their motive of only getting part of your prosperity.
So you believed to those days that your childhood indeed was normal.
You never tried to run from your life, you never saw yourself as a hormonal teenager in need of attention.
In the end only those who were born in respecting families, where work and pride is placed higher than blood ties, knows how upringbing really looks in such a household. Your standart always high, doing that to not need to put it higher again.
Parents instilling you dreams that were not yours, making you believe in something they always wanted. Like it was written, your whole life does not belong to you, and realization over it came in the moment when it was a little too late. Happy smiles never real, friends you swore would not leave you, disappeared within a night.
However let’s not impose that your parents were monsters, killing you on the inside with their cold demeanor or making your life miserable.
The first problem began when you had enough, when a virus in your mind told you about your own desires.
You remember this day like it was yesterday. Invisible mark on your check is still pulsating, with a wound much deeper inside screaming at you that it is still not healed.
“I want to study medicine.” Those were the exact words you first told your mother, freezing her in place and scarring inside with the power and destruction they held. She did not hold back with ignoring you, acting like the sentence was a mere passing wind, just fluffing hair in a not nice type of way. You expected that, nothing new from a shell of a person your mother has become, money and power empowering her mind, probably killing the young woman you are now, in her.
So the first step of actually making a point of how you processed to cut your family ties, were with your mother, kind of preparing you for what has to come.
Dark room, with marble accents and a woody smell that came straight to your nostrils. Mahogany desk, big enough to contain tons of papers scattered over it like some kind of nto important rubbish. You however knew better, and those innocent stock of inked pages held more value than maybe you yourself.
It was so hard to breathe in this tiny space, now feeling ever more closed up, dark and not welcoming. You tried to believe that the reason for it was not really a man sitting just before you, not minding your presence in a slighlets, but a stress and emotions on your back, you were trying to bear by yourself.
“I’m busy.” Short answer, not even directed to you - not that the man ever looked at you with those dark eyes. Predictable, exactly like you guessed. Cold feeling with a hot flush over your cheek, not knowing where the previous patience had gone.
Maybe you finally had enough. You were too tired to try to understand.
“Dad, please listen to me.” Ice cold bucket over your head, a void eyes now on you, not really expecting them to stay on you for so long, or even look up. Pupils a little blow out, stirring the dark color pallet of his eyes, similar to the tone of the bags under them. What a wrack of a man he really was, lanky hands under the suit, scribbling over something not even a minute ago, now lying lifelessly on a brownish desk.
“You really couldn't find better time for your whining? Go on, I still have a lot of work to do before I need to actually go.” Unconcern, you could even feel the unitresment oozing from him, hitting you with those eyes. They were looking at you, but at the same time it felt like they never were there. Black holes, no feelings found, gaze scary for those who never met someone so indifferent.
“I dropped out.”
“What?” Words came after some silence, piercing straight your beating heart. Hands in fist, just beside your thighs, so white that it could even be a little concerning for those looking from the side. You were nervous, even after you told yourself that this conversation was not going to be easy. Smooth information that it should be, your own life choices never discussed so openly.
“I dropped out of college”
Not a breath was heard, a heavy hand landed on the desk with a smack, knocking in the process some of the scattered pens.
“You did what?” Too calm, his voice was too calm for such information. Nerve wracking feeling once again welcomed you inside, making you take one step back. Soft material of the shirt creased under your hard grip. “It’s not the time for such a jokes Y/n”
“I’m not joking dad, I took the papers yesterday. I'm tired of wasting my time on something I never wanted.”
“Oh? But are you really? What are you going to do then? I'm getting really curious” Tone momocking you in every kind of way. You clench your teeth, an annoyed expression came over your face, just to disappear within one glance of the man.
Questions were rhetorical, laughing at your whole being in the cruelest manner. He knew about your every vulnerability, molding your persona from the beginning. So it must have been funny for him, seeing a little girl, someone he treated not entirely equally, however putting some kind of hope and dreams he himself could not reach, standing before him like a scared puppy asking for a treat.
“You yourself know the best how important those studies are for you. You prepared your whole life to go there and take my place one time, so don’t joke about it like it’s some kind of dish you are bored of eating.”
“You forced me to do it! I never wanted to take your place, study the stupid law.”
“And you decided that this is the time to suddenly realize that? Y/n from the beginning, we always gave you what you wanted, fulfilling your every wish, buying everything you wanted, and even after that you can’t be grateful. We only asked you for one thing, one thing Y/n, there is not such a thing like your dreams, there is only our family.” You wanted to laugh, those stupid exucess, only making you annoyed and wroked up. Manipulating you into believing you were selfish, that you are the problem, and you owe them right to living.
“Don’t be ridiculous father, you are not in the place to talk about family or do I need to remind you of Na-”
You heard it before you felt it. Burning feeling right in your left cheek, head on the side from the harash contact it made with the ringed hand. It was not the first time you saw or experienced such an act. Father being the man that loved to lose his temper rather fastly, hiding on the outside behind the calm demeanor and innocent smile.
Blood on your tongue, the metallic taste in your mouth like a forbidden flower you just tasted.
“You really want me to get mad today hm? “ You really wanted to nod, looking straight at him from your hair that fell after the slap. Hand on the cheek, trying to stop the pulsating ache to echo so much, however you know the best that the hot feeling is only building up and it's the only matter of time till the beautiful tones of purple show on your soft skin.
His own hands now begin viped over the handkerchief, a little blood over the white fabric, likely from the little scratches the rings were able to make.
His back to you as he went back behind the dark desk, sitting on his chair like nothing happened. And you knew, secretly that it was the end, that the conversation was done and nothing else could be said.
You closed your eyes, not even noticing you did it, realizing it after the first salty tear fell to your mouth, giving you a taste of sorrow. Head down, not in shame but in anger, with a pulsating cheek not letting you forget about the consequences your every word bears, you turned around going to the door that before somehow gave you so much hope.
“Oh and Y/n, there is no you without this family, but there is family without you. It won’t be the first time when I lose a child.”
Those exact words hunted you till this day. Rather heavy feeling, three years not long enough to make you forget, or let you accept a new life.
Loud noise of passing cars just outside the dirty window with a pounding of heart echoing in your ears. It was one of those bad days - you liked to say, those however started happening a lot of more. Breaking was never something you wanted to do, working so many jobs you could not count on your fingers, living in shitty apartments for no longer than two months just to end up on someone's couch.
That is the life you chose, the life you barely lived, everyday wishing for a miracle.
Harsh paper under your fingers, weighting your hand weirdly down - maybe it was the words that made the letter so heavy, maybe the truth you needed to face. Fact is that you do not know what to do, trying for the last months to make a living for yourself, get better pay and settle down for a longer time.
Words of your father echoing once again, making your eyes squish with the feeling. It was so hard to accept a defeat, something that you worked so hard for and for so long. You could not beg, you could not go on your knees again, and even if it was an option, imagines and memories of life in such a household keep you in the place you are now.
Head resting under your arms, shielding bright rays of sun from your eyes, long locks falling down in waves just over your pale face. You pulled them with a strength you did not know you possessed at the moment, as if it was because of them you needed to deal with all of this.
“Think Y/n, think” Mutters fell from your mouth like a mantra, supposed to make you cheer up a little. Void in your head, not ending emptiness that scares you as much as the strings of unpaid numbers on this goddamn paper.
An late hour struck on the side clock, hanging on one of the grey walls of the run down apartment you lived in. Sight itself is depressing, leaving you in wonder if maybe it is not one of the reasons for your current mood.
Who you wanted to trick.
A little knock once again echoed in the quietness of your home, reminding you of the late hour. Looking from your thick locks of hair, you sighed seeing how little time you actually got to get there. With one move, you left the scrap of paper on the side, and stood up from the ugly green couch, taking in the process bag of the crookedly hanged hook.
Fast footstep as you nearly run over one of the olders ladies living in the same flat, trying to messily wrap an apron over your waist, which is not as easy as it seemed to be earlier. Bluish fabric holding on to you with all the power, hanging a little on the too long strings, that untied themselves with each step.
You tried not to think about all those stares, looking at you as you run past them, not minding where your feets go, or if you accidentally push someone on the side. Let people think what they want, it's not like your opinion matters, and being a disgrace to your whole family disappears.
Familiar neon letters came to your sight forming the greenish title of caffe you soon found yourself in. A little bell rang as the door opened informing everyone about your presence. Calm atmosphere, everyone was busy in their own word, you loved this, a quiet place which you often found yourself admiring.
You wished that working there was not such an obligation, the only thing that let you stay in your current apartament. Rosy cheeks, and cheeky smiles as people got their morning coffee, thanking you quietly for the drink with such a pure impression, that you could not hold back the smile you gave each one of them.
“I’m so sorry for being late, I hope you didn’t need to run too much.” You said between heavy breaths, still trying to catch remaining puffs of air, head tilted to the side, hands on knees as you looked at the little blonde behind the counter.
Said boy only laughed a little, shaking his head from the embarrassment after the statement. Ringed hands cleaning some cups, quiet melody living his plump lips.
“Am I suppose to feel offended? I’m not an old man you know.” He asks, knowing that the answer will never be given. Voice on the lighter side, something you would expect from such a soft looking boy, warm and sweet to listen, and you indeed do, always keeping quiet when the boy talked about his own day to fill the quietness of your workplace.
You knew the boy was one of the things that made you feel normal, with his bright persona and angelic personality, you liked to believe he was one. He did not ask, knowing some things should stay in the dark, and you repaid him the same, being fully aware of the boy's secrets.
“Not at all. Beside we all know that it's not about you, but about who will get in trouble from your whining - and yes, it would be me. “ You say, patting his back on the way to the other side. Confused gaze now on you, as you smirk at the questioning boy waiting for some kind of elaboration, only getting from you another cup to wipe.
“Should i remind you of a certain person, which came to me with a complaint of how his favorite boy was tired - what was his name? Oh yeah Yo-”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
You laughed at the squeaky voice that came in a form of fast spoken answer, a little too fast to understand every word completely. Pretty blush came over his round cheek, soon appearing on tips of his lears, hidden by mop of blonde hair.
Not a piece of judgment in your gaze, but rather sweet caring look over the embarrassed boy next to you, trying so hard not to look bothered by your everyday teasing, that he was slowly getting accustomed to, liking how your voice gets a little lighter, your eyes light up and a pure giggle leaves your mouth.
Yeah he definitely could live with it if it means he can see the sparkle pops out in the dark of your pupils.
Cup in his hands a little heavy with the next thought that came over him. Melody coming with the pleasant wind of the early monday morning, his eyes however discreetly gazing over your figure. He knew when the times were worse, when your collarbones stood out more, welcoming i'm from the collar of an old shirt, you probably needed to wash by hands, and he hated that even if he tried to explain it, not care so much, he simply could not stop the worry seeking of him.
You were a sweetheart, never judging him, understanding his reason even after he told you about the second job he needed to take. You simply smiled, wishing him all good, and getting excited about dreams that were not your own, laughing with him and talking about his future plans as if you had place in them.
Thanks were never enough to pay off all the hardship you helped with. He respected you, admired so many things about you, how you don’t need a reason to give an arm to cry on, always taking a piece of burden on your own shoulders, whispering promises and talking about a better future that comes with hardships.
“Don’t be so embarrassed~ “ You sing to his ear when you pass him, going over to the coffee machine, big bag of beans in your hands. “I dare to say I got a little jealous when I saw him for the first time.”
“Gosh I hate you sometimes.” He whines, throwing his head back, closing his eyes to remain calm. Smile now on your lips, little giggles leaving your busy persona, trying not to be too loud in such an early hour.
An enjoyable silence came over once again, only sounds of working machines and knocks of cups, that were cleaned and wiped, mind automatically getting fuzzy from the fresh brew of coffees and autumn wind. Not a person in a shop, being still a little too early to welcome customers or get a morning drink, subtle music playing a little louder at those times filling little breaks of silence.
So how surprising it was, when those little giggles tickled your own ears suddenly and strong arms, clothed in white shirt, sneaked around your waist, making you lose the focus on filling the cup with beans. Blonde hair over your cheek, stroking the soft skin with a funny feeling, only pushing you to squirt more.
“You know if you liked him so much, you could have just said. I would think of something.” He whispers mockingly, smacking his lips in the end. Shiver comes with his next move, hands on your hips, keeping them from stirring so much, hot and on the smaller side however still noticeably bigger than your own. “Sadly I do not share my clients.”
With those words, he quickly detaches himself, hitting your bum with a cheeky smile that you soon could see right before you as the boy grabs one of the fresh croissants, putting the whole thing into his mouth.
“It must be big for you to say that.” You laugh, looking at the choking boy with the same expression he was giving you not even a minute ago.
“That was totally inappropriate.” Says blonde, chugging a glass of water you gave him out of pity.
“Now, don’t play an innocent Jimin, I see how you look at that one girl that comes here every friday. Didn’t you even memorize her order - gosh i heard you repeating it so many times that I know it myself.”
“Okay, okay maybe you are right, but it doesn’t mean you can judge me.”
“Would I ever?” A dramatic sight from the boy's accusations leaves your lips, you touch your heart looking at him with the most hurt eyes you could manage to do, a little tear spins in your eye. Mouth full of baked goodie, he laughs showing a little of non eaten food, with a proud expression to it. Your own smile now noticeable on face, happy feeling over your whole being, loving how this short amount of time with the bubbly boy let you forget about some problems. You take one of the left rags of the counter and throw it at his face, hoping to get him to work. “Stop eating! We are opening soon and I don't want to listen to how the coffee machines should be ready before the first client, because someone didn’t want to move his ass.”
“Just say you don’t want to deal with that old raisin.”
Nobody did, but Jimin had some superpower you sadly did not possess, and could at least shut the old businessman that somehow always comes first. Coming back to an earlier job, you pour black beans in the measuring cup, trying not to let the weight of the bag swoop you.
Place once again in a nice atmosphere, Jimin singing somewhere in the back, probably preparing syrups and goodies, sorting eveyrything on the displae plate. You two fell in a pleasant rhythm, doing your jobs like robots, knowing where things should go, and how not to disturb each other in the middle of action.
And it was something you really enjoyed, that piece and order, making you feel secure at least in such a place. Like you had power over your own life, your hands did what you wanted, your mind clear with tasks to be done.
Peace.
You both knew that this place was a mere act in the theatre of lies, you played in. Cafe such like that one, a happy place for two broke students, that tried everything in their power to make a living, pursue dreams so far away, still hoping that they are not going to disappear with all the hardships.
You could just drown in this lie of beauty picture you painted yourself, pretending your lifes do not look as bad, and even though you did not know the boy so well, you could tell from his eyes that he indeed is a player in the same game as you.
The truth being you did not know each other, you were not close. You knew about his job, about his own problems - some of them left unsaid, but who could you judge when you acted exactly the same.
Understanding from each other was enough.
However the boy tried to help you, offering sum of money or better paid jobs in times when you were too tired to hide it, those although - he learned after some time, never were an option for you.
And so with the next passing wind, the first client came welcoming you with kind of a grumpy smile, wishing for you to just make him the coffee. It was as always, a busy morning on the first day of the week, that always seems a little more crowded than any other, with business men and middle aged women trying to get over their morning sickness as fast as possible.
You saw the girl you talked about some minutes ago, looking from her covering eyes bangs, squashed from pink beanie on her head, nevertheless still laid perfectly. A little wave, hand hid under the panda mittens she liked to wear every other day the temperature goes down.
You smiled at the interaction, the excited smile on Jimin's face he tried so hard to hide, not doing a good job with his nearly nonexistent eyes that disappeared just because of it. She was pretty, a student in a university you both go to, however you were not sure what exactly she was majoring in.
Her funky style makes you take a shot at something related to fashion, but that might be completely wrong and the girl could just like wearing such bright clothes.
“Love the mittens, they look nearly as cute as you.” You heard, looking back from your busy hands, to gaze at the flustered pair. Adorable giggle soon leaves her mouth, covering lips with the said gloves as her own eyes disappear from weirdly similar eyesmile.
Jimin was a sweetheart, someone who deserved a happy future. And so you did everything to make that happen, wishing him the best and trying to help him even if it means your own happiness goes on a second plan.
“I'm sorry but could I order.” Coming back to your own job, you look up immediately, catching the gaze of one of the clients you did not recognize.
“Oh yes of course, I'm sorry for the wait. What can I get you?”
----
A loud noise of a closing locker echoes in a quiet room in the back of the coffee shops. Night air chilling from the open window you opened some minutes ago, to get rid of a smell so many people.
The calm of the room soothing your buzzing nerves and shaking hands, that always seems to do it after a hard day of work. Your attention now somewhere else as you try to take off the blue apron, laying it somewhere on the lonely bench next to you.
It was a busy day, helping you forget about what waits for you at home, and what person will probably visit you in the meantime. You didn’t like those times, the quiet after such hard working hours, leaving you with anxious thoughts rotating around the same problems you tried so hard to run away from.
So you tried once again, silence your mind with your hands, taking every job you could, now wiping lockers that never needed to be wiped before. The same rug from before in your hands, sliding over an uneven surface.
“Y/n?” You jumped from the sudden voice, swearing that Jimin was in the other room just a second ago. Turning around, you try to look unbothered, clenching the old rug in your hands with such interest. A little noise comes from your mouth, hum to let him know you are aware of his presence.
“Everything alright?” He asks a little unsure of the question, looking at you from the other side of the room, close to the door connected to the main room.
“Yeah, why would there not be?
“You were cleaning the lockers like not even a minute ago.” He says without thinking. Voice somehow suspicious, full of hidden concern as his suspicions from before seem to be true. You were not alright, and Jimin knows exactly what it may be. “If you need hel-”
“I'm alright! I'm really alright there is no need to worry, I'm just stressed because med major is harder than I thought.” The sigh is enough to let you know that he is not buying it.
Hard steps as he comes closer, opening his own locker situated right next to you, eyes glazing back at you from his clothes is started to put back. Tight lipped smiles is the only thing you are capable of answering with, catching his dark stare for a second.
“Im worried, and I know what you want to say, but I can’t help it. You are always the one that takes my burden so why can I not do the same?” He closes the locker with too much strength, making you jump again from the loud noise.
“It’s different.”
“How is it different? You help me with everything, you let me cry, you let me crash at your apartment when my parents try to make a mess again, so what’s the problem with me?! You don’t even want to tell me what's wrong dammit.” His eyes glassy from all the emotions, hands in a fist as if he tried to hold himself back. He turned completely to you, cornering you to the lockers behind, not letting you leave this time.
“Is it because of my work? Are you ashamed to take dirty money from someone who can’t earn normally and needs to sell themself. Is it this?! Tell me Y/n, I’m tired of seeing you in such a state, you are my friend.”
“You know it’s not that.” You tried to argue catching his watery eyes.
“So tell me, tell what is going on.”
Your own mouth in agape, words lost somewhere in the back of your head. So many years going alone, keeping everything to yourself shows itself with such a hestation of saying easy words that could let you breathe easier at night.
But would they really?
Giving someone your own burden was something you were taught as a shame. Problems should stay in family, and even there your father always told you to fight them alone.
“I - “ Eyes hopeful, looking at you with new found desperation. Big and different from the ones he was giving the sweet girl with panda mittens, and that alone made you sick knowing that the sparkle left because of you. “I’m sorry Jimin I just can’t.”
And you broke. With the remaining energy you mustered, you fell onto Jimin, him nearly not catching you on time. First tears fell, with such a power, rolling down your cheeks, wetting the soft fabric of Jimin’s shirt. You did not know why, why now you decided to just let go, sobbing so much, hoping the boy will understand that you only need someone to hold you.
And he did, wrapping his arms so securely around, letting you hide the red face in a crock of his neck. Fresh smell of flowers and perfume he always wore with a noticeable hint of coffee, you probably possesed yourself. Quiet whispers of comfort, tickling your scalp a little, hands patting your hair with care, brushing them with such a delicacy, like he secretly knew how breakable you are now.
“It’s going to be okay.” Void promise, his lips close to you kissing your forehead, with shaky hands trying so hard to gather every tear that fell down. With a little move he sat on a bench, an apron which you earlier left there dropped on the floor, a quiet thud ran in the small room, you on his lap, trying so hard to become smaller nearly molding in the bigger body of Jimin’s.
Sorry’s fly through your mouth, realizing it after Jimin's starts to rock your body. He peels your face from the safe space of his neck, wiping your running tears with both of his thumbs and trying to smile a little.
“I know it’s hard, but sometimes we need to let someone in, let them help put broken pieces together.” Eyes shining in the dim light of the room, your mouth ready to disagree quickly however quieten by his own speech. ”I know what you want to say Y/n” He starts again taking a big breath. “Being helpless doesn’t mean being weak, asking for help is not something to be ashamed of. Being strong however - is letting someone in, taking they hand and standing up with them - you have to have courage to do it, and I know you do to - but whoever put such a toxic mindset in you, keeps you from it and you need to realize that there is no longer people who will judge you for falling down a litte.”
Eyes falling down, sore from all the crying that has no plans to stop. You wipe the snot with your sleeve as well as wet cheeks, laughing a little after it, sniffles in the room as you try to calm yourself a little.
Jimins gaze still at you, now softer still brushing your hair in a calming manner with the second hand drawing circles on the side of your waist. It was shameful, hearing such words, knowing deep down they were true, but too prideful to agree with them.
“Gosh If I knew you cry like that, I would take a bucket with me. I wouldn’t need to pay water bills for like two months with it. “ He laughs as you smack him with your hand. Smile on your face, you tilt your head leaning on his arm with all the weight, a small sigh leaves your mouth. Smell of coffee now is more prominent with his own perfume, which he wears everyday, pushing your mind into own fuzzy feeling. “You know that I will always be there for you, right?”
A silent nod is enough, not too much to say after such an outbreak from your side still buzzing inside you. You know it was true, with how much you both came through together, it would be stupid to leave someone who become somehow a safe heaven.
“What are you going to do now? You won’t take any money, I guess you either are not going to be too willing to crash in my apartment.” Your head immediately shots up, eyes searching those of Jimin. A look of confusion cross your face for a second, with the words repeating in your mind once again. His face however is still serious, not leaving your surprised gaze.
“W-what how do you kno -”
“Your landlord called, I didn’t want to disturb you on your break - by the way I saw you sleeping you are not as sneaky as you think.” He interrupts you in the middle of talking, brushing his hair.
You frown, looking in disbelief at the boy, a little upset from the news. Touching your phone was okay, but taking a call and not saying anything, it just fell wrong.
“So why were you trying so hard to force me to talk?” The questions came a little more aggressive than intended, but who could you blame when your private life was exposed so easily. Truth being that you felt not as angry as embarrassed, never sharing such information before leaving them in the dark.
“I know you would be angry when I tell you about the phone - which I was right about.” He pouts looking somewhere in shame, like a child that was caught with sneaking sweets.
“But it doesn’t matter, what are you going to do without help? It’s not like our boss will gave you a rise from nothing, and do not even think about starting another job - we have studies, it would be plain stupid unless you ask your family for help, you never mentioned them but they would understand right?.”
“They sure would.” You sneer, standing up from the comfort of his lap. Your smile turned down on the mention of those people, it's not like you want to have something going on with them, it would be asking satan for help and that always comes with a price. “Thanks for everything Jimin, but I will be alright.” You add walking back to the hatstand where your hoodie hangs, grabbing it with your free hand, second one carrying the bag. Jimin's eyes follow you, surprised by the sudden movement and innocently big, like he waited for some better explanations - which he won’t get.
“B-but wait! Where are you going, don’t leave me like that!” You heard the shouts, desperate movements in the previous room meaning the boy tried to catch up, however you were long ago outside the cute coffee shop, starting the journey to your quiet apartment. Maybe it was mean, and maybe Jimin was too good to be treated like this, but your own mood was now too fragile to stay in the same room as the insistent boy.
Autumn wind welcoming you once again, cold weather sneaking inside your clothes, the light hoodie not doing any justice with such temperature - still it was the only thing you owned with better quality. Head full of thoughts a little overcrowded with a starting headache, not letting you walk in a peace you somehow needed just now.
Walk to your house - at least the recent one, was not one of the long one, rather passing as a nice stroll. And even though your shifts ended in night hours, the quiet and calm way never made you feel scared of any sudden dangers awaiting you on Seoul's streets. It was a nice neighborhood, one where families that were a little lower than middle class tried to make a living, keeping their kids in a safe environment. Happy smiles and laughs welcoming you sometimes in the morning, kids rushing to their own school, greeting you even after those months you stayed there, only making you nostalgic at the thought of leaving such a safe haven.
So it was more than surprising when a quick footstep rang in your ears, soon nearing you even faster. Your beating heart now rapidly knocks in your chest, as your eyes try to search for the reason for those sounds.
You didn’t need to search for loong, soon hearing the screech of a voice not so far from you. “Y/n! Wait for me!” It was even worse when the little man started to dramatically draw his hands to touch, however your concern only lay in the thought of waking up the whole neighborhood. Eyes slitted, an annoyed expression crossing your face at the sight of the panting boy, soon stopping before you, not without tripping and nearly taking you with him. “You… really want to kill me.”
Heavy breath hitting your face, his voice strained and tired from the miles he needed to run to catch up to you. You however were more than a little shocked - yes Jimin is stubborn, and yes he is the person to run after someone just because the said person lost a penny, but his appearance here was different. It was crossing the invisible line you both draw, accepting each other's bubble of comfort.
So the question still stayed, your face hard with a thundering gaze waiting for the boy to calm a bit.
“Why did you suddenly leave?” Seriousness leaked out from his tone, however the way his eyes scrunched only meant that he indeed felt a little hurt from your previous action. And you don’t even wonder why, knowing how your choices could wound the innocent boy. “Is it about your family? If its a soft topic we can never talk about it ag-”
“You want me to walk away again?” His eyes got bigger at your cold tone, his foot taking a step back. Your family, the topic you did not want to bring up today, explaining the harsh demeanor you suddenly took. Eyes however softened as fast as they met the boy’s hurted ones, a gulp of remorse sliding down your throat. “Look - I appreciate your help but I don’t need a person to be helpless with.” You took a step forward placing your hands on the boy's arm, squeezing it in reassurement. Looking him straight into eyes a sight left your mouth soon forming in a little awkward smile - the only one you could force yourself into. “You helped me enough, there is nothing else you can do, It’s not your battle to fight you have your own problems and asking you to take mine would be cruel.”
And how awful it was to turn back leaving him again, you did just that, giving him the last pat with a smile. His own mouth opening and closing, agape from the schock you probably left him. And you were sure that this time he will let it go, your words full of coldness not leaving room for arguments.
“But what if I do?” His voice stopped you in the middle of the step, freezing your form with a new squeeze in stomach. You did want to hope for nothing, feeling how your eyes got bigger in surprise, being so close to turning back to face the blonde boy. “What if I can do something?”
“Jimin we are over it - I won’t take any of your mo-”
“I didn’t mean that. I’m not that stupid to not understand first hundret times you made it clear.”” You turn at his clear voice, full of seriousness and unsaid promises. New thoughts fell over your messy mind, Jimin’s voice still ringing in your ears as well as the hot gaze he kept on you, fixated on your weirdly sluggish posture. You were more than confused, his help however not new for you, the sudden change of demeanor was like a bucket of cold water maybe pushing you into admitting that the boy indeed had some kind of solution. “Please try to listen to me first and please try to be open minded.” He adds taking a big breath making him close his eyes for a second, only to stare at you even more firmly, nearly hiding his shaky hands. A silent nod from you lighted once again the enduring fire of his eyes.
Now you were even more curious.
“What if I get you a client?” Innocent question, firstly confusing you even more with the weird words, the realization came with your mouth opening a look of disbelief crossing your eyes for a second even if you tried to remind yourself that you situation it's not the one to be judgy.
“You do-”
“Let me finish, please?” And you could not find the power in yourself to not give in. Looking straight into his gaze you closed your mouth, still hanging from the previous schock you experienced. “I was in the same place as you some years ago, a broke student without any help or hope - and I know what you want to say, but it's not as bad as it seems. You don’t even know how much I wish that at that time I had better option, but there was none and probably won’t be if I still want to chase my dreams The job is really not that bad, people don’t know, they do not need to know - even if they wanted the community of them would not allow it cause they want only that - discretion.”
You winced, the cold brushing your cheeks even more from the chill night, moon being your only source of light shining at boy’s figure like in some kind of movie. And to be completely honest, you indeed feel like in some kind of drama, emotions oozing from both of you in waves crashing in the middle with a tension to it. You didn’t want to seem rude, your face trying to stay some kind of neutral, however you knew that Jimin saw the first pull you unconsciously did, decided to let it slip instead looking at you with even more solemnity.
Yeah you knew about his past, history he one time told you in the middle of breakdown, then seemingly crazy and full of hardship, now you started to see yourself in the boy, his place now taken by you in the most awful way.
“It’s really not that bad Y/n” He whispers, voice full of softness you were thankful about. You felt breakable, the thought of actually doing it scaring you with how probable it really is. “I’m so sorry I can't do more, but it’s the only way I can help.”
You didn’t even realize when he came so close, touching your arm with his little bigger hands clenching it. Your eyes squeezed as your hands fell to your sides lifelessly, emotions now once again leaving you a little too suddenly, the grip you always had on your life slipping from your grasp with a gasp. It was hard, facing something you worked so long for only to ruin it because of such a thing as money. It was so funny, your own younger self laughing at you probably, telling you how your choices led you to that state.
“It’s really the end huh?” You didn’t need to look to know about the sad gaze he momentarily gave you. Arm sneaking around your shoulders, your posture seemingly smaller than normally, bringing you to the warm body of the blonde boy. Not a word said, only the silence being louder than aggressive shouting.
There was no need for a better explanation, your mind was already processing the idea of selling yourself to someone, and how shocking it could be that it never crossed your mind before. You can’t say the job disgusted you, you can't say it did not leave you with a sour taste on your tongue, like something is wrong with the image of you in such an environment again.
Again.
Well that was something that did not sit right with you, running away your whole life from it, now going back to the cave of a tiger - conscious suicade.
Face plastered on the surface of the brown coat, fluffy fabric brushing your face with every breath he took. The gesture leaves you with a heavy heart, not understanding why Jimin wanted to help you so much. Was it an obligation? Did he feel like he owed you something?
You just couldn't grasp the idea why, why was he so insistent, it’s only you in the end, a friend from the same coffee shop he worked in, someone who is not important in his life, someone who he will leave when the time comes. So why?
And maybe with the next gust of wind, a quiet whisper in your ear you realized deep down, that he was the first person in your life which genuinely cared for you. However the musky scent and heavy thoughts still repeated the same question, but you knew somewhere in your mind that it’s only a matter of time when the quiet suggestion will be proven.
“It’s getting late. You should go home.” A silent nod, your head still leaning on his shoulders, too tired to move. His hands petting your hair, a quiet hum leaving his mouth while he did it, melody not familiar, dancing in the silence of the night. You sighted taking one step back, immediately feeling a cold breeze hitting you, the source of heat now gone, making you shiver in the lighter clothes. Little smile screeching on your lips after you saw his worried gaze, sitting on your figure not planning to move.
“You too.” Sticking your hands into the big pocket of your hoodie, you turned your head in the way he came nodding. None of you moved, gaze met in the middle as you tried to not show how cold you really wera, body shaking in unnatural ways wanting to move for some kind of warm up.
He did not smile, even after your own stretched into a larger one, you decided not to pry and just turn around with a silent wave, head ahead of you eyes looking in the dark depths of the street where you lived. He knew you were not alright, gaze piercing you through every layer you tried to put in a situation like this, a copy mechanism you were not that proud of. And so with the head lowered you took the first step away not minding the still lingering stare on your shoulders.
The main worry now being the cold weather and little clothes that shielded you from it, the idea of the whole conversation put somewhere on the side.
However, he and you were pretty well aware of what is going to happen the next day.
In the end it's you who soon is not even going to possess own body.
----
Sleepless nights were not new, the feeling of tiredness you could not just wipe with the piece of the fabric a familiar one, the eyes trying to stay focused on things even though they were so hard to close themself for some sweet time, just to be forcefully open. Two words were enough for you to not hide the utter ache, you so perfectly masked in the middle of the coldest night.
And so maybe it was the cold keeping you awake in the dark, the blanket not enough to warm up your lifeless limbs, or maybe the lingering touches of the blonde boy that stayed even after so many afters after the whole conversation.
You felt weak, blinking in the grey room watching the wall like it would show something incredible, the scratches on it similar to the one you did when the stress was too much, decorating pieces of your skin like an art. The night was a big blur, hours now looking at the nonexisting stuff passed with a blink of an eye only to put you in another of the memories.
Blonde hair somewhere there scrolled in the side of your mind. Oh yeah, the said boy came the next day, look on his face too hard to forget as the next wall you built was just ruined.
He looked at you from behind his eyelashes with eyes dimmed with a sort of fog. Silence being the only comfort in the moment - early morning helping with it. He knew that this time the situation did not have many options, not any without any loss.
However he came, with a mind to let you help with thinking of any other ideas to help you, the conversation from the other night forgotten after he stepped in the gloomy apartament. And it doesn’t surprise you, the look you probably carried spoke for himself.
In his hands soon layed inconspicuously looking scrap of paper, tempting with his appearance like the most loucioust sin. He read it with squinted eyes, not needing a lot of time to find out what exactly the letter applied to.
What surprised him after such information is, how really the girl hid behind such an innocent facade, the new wave of respect crashed on him with the thought how strong you really are to not ask for help. The human thing was to linger, searching for attention so long to have someone finally do everything for us.
He had money, he had it so much that he could easily help her for next month, but he knew how every proposition like that would end up.
In the end they were really similar.
“Maybe there is another way.” He cut the silence, after a while regretting the action. Eyes met somewhere in the middle and both of their gaze was meaningful enough to answer his void of hope. “Have you tried to talk with the flat owner?”
Grimace on your face once again was enough, you shook your head remembering not the best meeting with the older man. “Many times. The guy is purely business oriented, he doesn’t care about your private life but if you pay everything - which as you can see I have a problem with.”
“I know that it’s a hard topic, but what about your family. There needs to be at least one person.” You looked down, carpet under your feets still fluffy and soft under your feet, the silence embracing you both. Jimin awkwardly scratched his arm, biting his lips in the process, the topic one again making your mood even worse. “Im sorr-”
“There is no need, it doesn’t matter anyway. My family is off limits when it comes to those types of things.” You cut him off, looking from the side at the little embarrassed boy. A sigh leaves your mouth as you lean on to your old couch, ruffling your hair after. “Jimin there is really no other way. Your option is the only thing I can do, even if the idea scares me.”
He looked at you with a small smile, the memories from his past coming back to him, when it was him who was sitting at your place, maybe with a different situation, but the fear in the eyes remained the same. He sat next to you, hand catching yours latching fingers with yours, as if that small gesture was supposed to pass everything.
And maybe it was like that, however how sweet and calming the motion wouldn’t be, nothing has been solved, and your decision it's going to change your life completely.
“You start to accept it with time.” He whispers tightening the grip on your head, the sentence seemingly had a bit more to the story. You guessed he tried not only to convince you both himself too.
Idea still fresh in your mind, hard to process it actually is going to happen, eyes meeting once again with the dark ones of the boy, millions of heistations flowing in the circle of your pupils.
“What If I don’t want to accept it? Jimin, I'm going to sell myself like some kind of animal.” You started, soon seeing how every word pierced the boy, a hurt crossing his face for a while. However he himself knew how his job was not something to brag about, something that should be kept to yourself.
“First - you are not going to be a prostitute, it’s their job. Second - you are not selling yourself, your body maybe, your time - yes. This whole messed up business, which no one truly understands, it's not only based on pleasure and successful bargain. The people you are going to provide services will require more, however you too will be able to demand - and that’s the difference.” He instinctively stood up, turning his back to you to hide his face for you.
You decided not to question that, the topic probably being equally hard for him. Following his figure, you listened to every word which could calm your buzzing nerves.
“Mone-” You started trying to guess about the demand he was talking about. The cash suggests itself in your mind. The boy quickly turned back, dark eyes catching your breath in the middle.
“Respect.” He finished, taking an earlier abandoned cup of tea to his hand. You were confused, your gaze spoke for himself, the utter questions building with every quiet minute he left you with. “Do you know why so few people are able to survive in such a business, or why so few people know about it?” He asked knowing fully he won't get any answer from you. He sighted brushing his blonde hair back, a little oliy from the last day of work, he came to the other side of the room sitting on one of the smaller tables just before you.
“You will need to play a role, you will become an actress in real life without the power to question your own character. People that are directors in fact are going to be your clients, giving you the script you will need to act on. In the beginning it’s going to be hard, but with time you will understand that you can either love it or you are someone who is not suitable for such a job.”
So many questions, which only bundled up with the said words. A weird twinge in your heart, forcing you to stop thinking about it like a sweet temptation, however the beautiful words he wrapped everything with stronger. The idea seems so easy, so free and so good, too good to be true.
You looked at him, the tiredness hitting you suddenly but so many not arranged issues kept you on your toes, so with the remaining power you sighed rubbing your eyes. You decided, your last way out.
“How i'm even going to start?” The question filled him with a relife, not understanding exactly why, the thought of having someone close in the same job loaded him with unanswered happiness. He gazed back, the look making you sit more comfortable forcing your attention directly at him.
“The clients are mostly the people you least expect to. Although they are not people which can afford a whore - lame millionaires or self-proclaimed gangsters. Don’t get me wrong but if they were them they could have just bought the random first person that is willing to do everything they want, for them however the most important is discretion and loyalty.” He started, stopping for a while to take out his phone and quickly search something on it.
With one move he showed you a picture of a man, you strangely knew. Black hair, similar to the blackness of the sky so different from the boy sitting just before you and a beautiful porcelain looking skin. He looked proud, even as a imagine the frozen photo oozing of confidence and power.
You knew those people pretty well, a little too well. Too proud for their own good and too proud to admit their wrongs, making money in such a way to not get attention if they are dirty or not. Familiar contempt towards others. You tried so hard to run away just from people like that, you hoped the clients Jimin was talking about are just the little CEO’s, not that important or dangerous.
And how ironic it was that you yourself are going to willingly put yourself in such a toxic environment again, people that are more influential than politicians and authorities. Next question popping on the side, how the blonde boy survived there without any knowledge.
“I see you can guess about who i’m talking about, and It’s not your first contact with them, right?” He started, brushing his hair once again, a habit you noticed. He needed to admit that your expression put him in uneasiness, look on your face nearly scared like a child that watched horror for the first time. He didn’t want to annoy the topic, leaving it in the air with the restless tension, instead he closed his phone hiding it back into his pocket.
His eyes still on you, your mind somewhere else as the quietness of the room started to spin around. The unanswered question lingered on your tongue, kept in the end of your mouth like some kind of secret. And as you thought it’s the end, the little ping came from the pocket he put his phone into.
“Well, I don’t know If you are interested but there is someone who is willing meet.”
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asimpforarmin · 3 years
Text
AoT Characters When You ask them to Deal With a Bug 💛
Character(s): Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman, Bertholdt Hoover, Connie Springer, Sasha Braus, Jean Kirstein
Genre: Light-hearted, silly, modern!au
Warnings: Bugs, spiders, cursing
A/n: Sorry I’ve taken so long to update, idrk but I’ve just lost some motivation. Sorry to anyone who might have followed me because of the one headcanon I wrote with Eren but it just seems impossible for me to write him 😭
💛 Armin
Very scared, not too much that he can’t deal with it but would much prefer it if you did.
He’s smart about it though. He’ll make a jar with an acetone or rubbing alcohol soaked rag at the bottom and place it up to the bug so it inhales the fumes and dies.
When it’s on the ceiling or high up he will NOT get it. He’s kinda short so he’d have to climb on something to reach it and that would mean if something went wrong, he wouldn’t be able to retreat quickly. He’ll just hit it or leave it to you.
Another reason is because if it’s high up it could fall and get stuck in his hair.
One time he was outside and a June bug stuck to his hair and he didn’t realize it until Eren pointed it out and he freaked out.
By the end of it, even if you are the one who brought it to his attention you’ll probably be comforting him because he’ll be a shaking mess, please hug him.
💛 Mikasa:
If you ask her to deal with a bug, she gladly will.
If it’s something small, she’ll grab a tissue, squish it, and throw it in the trash. If it’s something big, she’ll get a cup and paper and trap it to take it outside.
She’s really good at catching bugs that fly all over the place, like flies or moths. She just uses a cup and something solid and flat like a book and is able to catch it mid-air.
If it’s a spider, she’s not afraid of it. She’ll get a chair or stepstool and a plastic dish and go right up there to grab it.
If it’s venomous she’ll take precautions but will still get it. She’ll get a rolled up newspaper or book and just whack it. If that doesn’t work she’ll just vacuum it up or trap it and take it outside. She wears thick gloves when doing this though so the spider can’t get to her.
If you’re freaked out by the bug she’ll deal with it first then comfort you.
💛 Bertholdt:
As soon as you ask, he’s already got a cup and paper ready to dispose of it.
His height makes it easier to get bugs high up on the wall or ceiling.
Unless it’s something small like a tiny fly or mosquito, he’ll take it outside, he doesn’t like killing bugs for the most part.
One night you two were getting ready for bed when he heard a cricket in the next room. He found it and tried to get it in a cup but it kept jumping away. He was tired and it was in a prime position so he just stomped on it. He cringed at the sound it made then vowed not to kill any big bugs unless he has to.
Spider’s don’t phase him, it’s just any old insect, so he’ll get rid of it like he usually does.
That is, unless it’s venomous. If it is, he won’t be mad if you burn the house down.
In all seriousness, he’ll either vacuum it up or throw stuff at it until he doesn’t miss.
💛 Connie:
This man comes up with very creative ways of killing bugs.
He never just kills them or takes them outside without additional tools. He can’t just walk up to it and kill it.
He’s more scared than he’d like to admit, but not terrified.
Likes to use nerf guns for long range combat.
He learned how to make slime when it was really popular so now always has some in a room close by. When there’s a bug, he goes to grab it and throws it at the wall. Most of the time, he misses or it doesn’t stick, but when it does, he punches the slime with his fist, killing the bug, then throws the whole thing away.
If it’s venomous, he nopes tf out of there. He’d call someone else to take care of it or make you do it.
💛 Sasha:
Terrified™
Will only deal with it if you have a severe fear or phobia.
When she’s forced to, she hits it with something long and broad, like a broom.
She’s utterly horrified at the thought of missing and it crawling up the broom into her shirt, but she knows that’s completely irrational.
Don’t even get her started if it’s venomous, she will flip. She’ll still try to get it over with but will use a vacuum cleaner or spray it with acetone or something that will kill it.
One time she was trying to kill a spider and it landed in the blender she was using so she just put the top on and pressed the button, then cleaned it out afterwards.
💛 Jean
When you ask him to deal with a bug, he agrees and goes into the room but realizes it’s bigger than he expected and starts internally panicking.
He walks up to it with a container and paper to trap it but it falls before he catches it, causing him to drop his tools.
He steps back and takes a deep breath before picking his stuff back up and trying again.
From here, it can go one of two ways. One, being he catches it, and the other being that the bug is too fast so he grabs a bottle of febreeze and continuously sprays it until its dead or incapacitated enough to remove it from the premises.
With venomous bugs, he’ll try to guide them through an open window or trap them. The last thing he wants to do is smash a huge spider’s guts on the counter or get bit, so he uses traps to lure them out and either kills them or moves them far away outside.
He’s definitely gotten better at catching bugs over the years, not being so scared to do it anymore.
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lance-space-mommy · 3 years
Text
The Fatherless Pianist
Pianist! Deku (Contains MonoDeku and Hisashi Midoriya is dead)
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Midoriya knew his dream was unrealistic. He knew that his brains alone wouldn’t assure a spot in UA. Still, it wasn’t impossible. He easily could have it all with a support system and a mentor. Yet, he was absolutely alone. He’d train his mind, pushing his mental and emotional awareness to it’s peak. He understood how the world worked and why people acted the way they do.
He found a peace in violence. He found a feeing of what it was like to be a hero through being bullied. He understood the fight or flight response, the adrenaline rush, the fear, and the impulse of immediately knowing what to do. He understood pain and remaining calm despite his depression, anxiety, and possible ADD issues.
Midoriya found contentment in a random store he saw on his way home through the quiet part of town. The doors were wide open as the sound of a grand piano rang through the bright streets. Midoriya found himself walking right into a beautiful music shop. A lovely woman, soft features with a look of passion, poured her whole body and soul into the chords and notes the piano possessed if touched just right.
Mesmerized, Midoriya stood in the doorway with his fists tightly gripping his book-bag straps. The woman felt his stare and quickly finished her piece and welcomed him.
“Hello! Welcome! How my I help you today?”
Midoriya immediately flushed red, waving his hands urgently. “Sorry! I just heard your playing and I came over here! I’m so sorry if I disrupted you or interrupted your peace! I just thought it was amazing and—!”
The woman let out a airy laugh, motioning for him to sit down. “Nonsense! I barely get any people to enter simply from my music. I’m more than happy to have someone who has a taste for piano.”
Midoriya wilted slightly, looking for the sheet music only to see there was none. “How’d you do that? Play without music?”
“My quirk! I call it Natural Touch! Basically, I’m a natural piano player. I can make a whole piece simply by moving my fingers to however I’m feeling!”
“Wow! Incredible!”
“Indeed it is. I have a feeling the fate brought you here. Now, sit. Let’s find your calling.”
———————————————————————
Two years passed and Midoriya was finally in his third year of junior high. Unfortunately the school year had just started and Midoriya was no where close to having his interaction with the sludge villain and All Might.
Midoriya was quick to clean his desk, wiping off the marker-written graffiti that was nothing more than unoriginal and overused insults with the new cleaner he purchased online. Tossing his bag over his shoulder, Midoriya rushed out of the school in a hurry. He had told the woman who he now called Sae-san he had finished his newest piece.
He had based the entire piece off of the overwhelming intoxication of needing to be perfect. It was like chasing after your dreams and seeing how far away it was but still rushing forward, wonderfully out of breath as you panted. It was almost as if you were running in a endless open field of beautiful flowers and lively green grass as the wind twirled and tugged at your hair. It was the struggle, the fight and pride bubbling in your stomach as you find a motivation inside your gut. It was a long and beautifully painfully journey. Short and swift moments that switched to tedious and serious clashes, the anxiety, and then the run. It was the home stretch where you admire the world around as you make it to the end.
Midoriya saw the beauty. He saw it all. Now he has put it into a beautiful piece to tell the story, to covey the emotions.
Running out the school doors, he failed to see his bullies waiting for him outside. For the group to see Midoriya run, it brought a smirk among their faces as they assumed he was trying to escape a beating. Midoriya was swift on his feet, somewhat similar to a beautiful fox. The group was surprised at his speed and agility. At some points they lost him and could only spot him when he was rushing through a long open area.
About three corners away from his destination, the bullies lost Midoriya. Frustrated, they settled on beating him up first thing the next time they saw him. Deciding that they could just hang out since they were all together, the group wandered around the area seeing all the small shops.
Soon, they arrived on the same block as the music shop, Midoriya’s location. Unaware of Midoriya’s presence, they mindlessly bought some snacks at a small convince store. As soon as they left the store, they sat down on a bench right outside the music store.
The bully with hideous long grey hair almost spat out his drink when he looked into the window only to see Midoriya. This, of course, caught the attention of Bakugo and the black haired douchebag. The other two looked just as surprised to see Midoriya.
Bakugo smirked as he went to get up. “Found you, worthless fucker!”
Holding Bakugo back by his arm, the black haired bully didn’t even spare a glance to the blond. “Hold up. Deku is fucking going to play the piano?”
“No fucking way,” snorted the grey haired idiot.
Bakugo lowered himself back onto the bench, a psychotic smile worn on his face. “Oh, this is gonna be pathetic!”
The two nodded in agreement watching. Suddenly a beautiful woman rushed over with a chair. Midoriya seemed surprised by her excitement, letting out a squeaking noise. The woman let out an airy laugh as he clapped.
Just like on the fateful day Midoriya met her, the windows were wide open along with the front door. The sun was shining bright as the sky was a beautiful shade of blue. Fluffy, lively clouds offered periodic moments of shade that came and went as they pleased.
Midoriya seemed to realize something as he shot up from where he was sitting and rushed behind the counter. The woman watched with a patient smile, unbothered. Midoriya returned holding a stack of papers.
The woman looked up at him in amazement. “Is... is this the sheet music?”
Midoriya eagerly nodded, handing the sheets to her. The woman was quickly to pull the pages apart and lay them out. He paused when she was dividing post-it notes. She gasped harshly as she stared at the nervous boy standing over her.
“Are these overlapping one another?”
Midoriya shyly nodded, motioning to the post-its. “Yes. Using a layering device, each of these chords will be overlapping and progressively being played over one another. After so many counts, the new layer will be able to be taken.”
The woman gasped, scooping up all the papers and cheering out in pure joy. “Genius! You’re amazing! Adding and removing layers to create a passionate and climaxing piece! The “building-up” style will be a moving one!”
Midoriya shook his head, waving his hands. “Well— yes! That was the whole goal but I wouldn’t call it genius! Besides, I wouldn’t ever be as amazing as you!”
“Having a quirk has absolutely nothing to do with talent and skill. You are a wonderful person and I’m grateful to have you be a part of my life. Now... play,” the woman nudged, resting a hand on Midoriya’s shoulder.
Midoriya nodded sitting down onto the bench. The woman looked at the papers before extending them out. “Do you need these?”
Midoriya offered a warm smile. “Nope. I actually printed them off just for you.”
The lady chuckled, holding them close. “Of course, I shouldn’t have expected any less of you than to memorize the piece by heart.”
Midoriya connected his device to piano and made sure it was working. After quickly changing a setting, Midoriya finally nodded and started the countdown. Nodding his head to the tempo he prepared his hands.
Taking a quick breath he started to play.
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Simply tapping one note before randomly throwing in another for a while almost brought the bystanders to laughter. Midoriya picked up his hands as the notes continued the play while he quickly moved his fingers to add a layer. The process repeated, and repeated, and repeated.
The woman seemed just as stunned as his bullies. Their jaws hung low as Midoriya passionately played, eyes occasionally opening as he smiled. The wind picked up as the sun almost magically came out from the clouds, blinding everyone with Midoriya’s beauty and power.
The woman closed her eyes, body swaying to the music as he allowed herself to feel. She felt the struggles, the fear, the flight, and the childish excitement of his existence.
Midoriya suddenly cut off multiple layers with the single tap of his foot on an electronic pedal and was beginning to relayer all over again. It was a beautiful mess of emotion invoking chords and jumbles of notes.
The group of bullies hadn’t moved an inch, too entranced to do much of anything. They felt his music, his mind, his passion. It was oddly uplifting yet leaving them in a drowning feeling. The way Midoriya’s messy curly hair was picked up and tossed in the wind as his eyes were gently closed as his body pushed and occasionally ground forward with power. His head bowed and rolled to the music as every ounce of himself was the piece.
Finally he came to a stop before taking a deep breath and opening his eyes. Suddenly a present voice caught everyone off guard.
“Can I please take you out on a date?” a voice desperately asked.
Midoriya jumped, his whole body turning to see who had said such a thing to him even he already knew who. An average looking guy with short blond hair and blue eyes stood in the doorway with a smirk. He was wearing a stylish polo with some black ripped jeans. In his hand was a plastic bag.
Midoriya sighed, excusing himself from the shop owner. “Neito, why bother? I already told you—!”
“That I can’t like you because you’re quirkless. Unfortunately you can’t tell me who I can like. So I’m here to forcefully take you out on a date. First, I have some offerings.”
Midoriya couldn’t help but smile as he made his way over to Monoma. “What is it now?”
Monoma opened the bag and first pulled out a small object. “Hold out your hands.”
Midoriya raised a brow, hesitantly holding out his hands. Monoma quickly put the object in Midoriya’s hands only to reveal a beautiful crystal. Looking at it, Midoriya suddenly made the connection.
“Are you trying to woo me like penguins do?”
“Yes. Next.”
Midoriya waited patiently as Monoma carefully reached a hand into the plastic bag. Midoriya found himself growing nervous when Monoma started pulling his hand up, out of the bag. Holding a box he quickly got down on one knee and revealed a ring.
“Marry me!”
Midoriya stared at the boy blankly, watching the eager look in Monoma’s eyes as he looked as if he was about to shatter the box in his hand. Midoriya’s moment of shock passed and genuine embarrassment and joy rushed through him.
“Neito! We are 14! We can’t get married!”
Neito stood up, still holding the ring. “I don’t care! You’re a goddess and I’d be damned if I didn’t claim you!”
Midoriya couldn’t help but roll his head back as he was gasping for air. “Oh my god! You’re like a possessive puppy, that’s so cute!”
“Hey! It’s romantic and I won you over with the crystal!” Monoma declared as he took the ring out of the box.
The shop owner walked over with a large smile. “Consider it a promise ring if engagement ring doesn’t suit your fancy. Monoma, tell him the ring is a symbol of your love for him and your plans to marry him."
Midoriya gasped in betrayal, looking at the woman. “Nagisa! How could you!”
The woman, now known as Nagisa, laughed, “You need a boyfriend, girlfriend, anyone. Besides, I like this one, he’s a bit of a brat but isn’t scared to show his affection. You need someone like that.”
Midoriya crossed his arms, looking at Monoma stubbornly. “Well, I don’t know why you keep coming back. I’ve turned you down every time for the about the past half year. Why would you waste so much time on trying to win someone like me over?”
Bakugo was officially broken, his eyes wide as he was about to explode the soda tightly gripped in his hands. His lackeys on the other hand were trying to hide their guilt due to seeing the effect their actions have had on Midoriya. By hiding their guilt, it was more like stuffing their face with chips while watching the scene before them as if this was the best entertainment they’ve ever seen in years.
Honestly, it was unsettling for them all to see Midoriya be the one rejecting advances. They were especially surprised to see him openly say he was quirkless and Monoma ignore Midoriya’s explanations.
Monoma dramatically took Midoriya’s wrist and held the ring close to Midoriya’s face. “This ring is a symbol of my love for you and my plans to marry you. Whether or not you accept it, I want you to know that you are a dream. God, I couldn’t even imagine someone as perfect as you. Pretty, yet talented and dedicated. Shameless per say.”
Midoriya was breathless as the ring was slipped onto his finger. The words gently but sternly spoken to him seemed to sink deep. Midoriya felt relief wash over him as tears just started falling down his face. The two watching him sudden burst into tears freaked out, worried they upset him or went too far.
Midoriya laughed as he cried, ignoring the fact Monoma hadn’t been able to fully slip on the ring. “You idiot! Don’t talk like that.”
Monoma realized it was tears of... not a negative emotion and smirked. “Oh? But it’s true. I will marry you!”
Midoriya rolled his eyes, wiping his tears. “Alright. Then you’re willing to meet my parents then?”
Nagisa, who was now cackling, lowered herself to the ground. “Oh my god! This is why I love you Izuku!”
Monoma took a deep breath before standing in a “power pose”.
“Yes! I will do it! I will get their blessing.”
Midoriya nodded, walking to his book bag and digging inside it. Walking back over he held up a necklace with an odd shaped charm on it.
“Neito, meet my dad. Dad, meet Neito.”
Nagisa must have seen it coming as she started blasting disco music. Neito looked horrified while Midoriya smugly held up a necklace containing his fathers ashes.
Bakugo and the bullies felt their hearts stop as they’ve bullied someone who’s lost their father. To make it worse, they probably bullied him the day he found out his father died and throughout the course of him trying to cope with it.
Neito immediately panicked. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that—!”
Midoriya waved his hand, ignoring the apology. “Lighten up. It was last year and I never met the asshole. We just got permission to have him buried over here after being cremated so me and mom just took some ashes to keep.”
Nagisa walked back over, holding a water bottle. “Yeah, I remember you coming in one day with a disappointed face. All you ever said was “my dad died before I even got to meet him. He just died. I’m literally thirteen.”
Neito seemed to chipper up, a genuine smile on his face as he looked as the necklace Midoriya was holding. “Just wondering... why don’t you wear it? You have it on a necklace.”
Midoriya shrugged, putting it into his bookbag. “Well, my bullies would probably take it from me and destroy it. They don’t really consider what I posses, they just want to ruin it.”
“How? Why? You’re amazing! What is wrong with those assholes?” Neito gasped harshly, his hands gesturing to sculpt Midoriya’s body.
Midoriya shrugged, finally admiring the ring. “I don’t know. They’ve all just treated me that way after I came out quirkless. I just don’t carry anything important on with me anymore.”
“So you won’t be wearing my ring?” Neito frowned, looking at the ring.
Midoriya smiled, taking his necklace and adding ring to the chain. Clasping the back of the necklace, Midoriya cheerfully held it up to show Monoma.
“See! I’ll always have it. Although, I will probably wear it all the time outside of school,” Midoriya suggested his plan.
Monoma smugly put his hands on his hips, pleased. Midoriya got nervous at that look, preparing himself. Monoma lunged at Midoriya, swooping the boy up and hauling him up bridal style.
“Bye, Nagisa! Im taking my fiancé out on a date.”
Midoriya shouted, reaching out for Nagisa. “We aren’t engaged!”
“You didn’t refuse my date proposal,” Monoma proudly pointed out.
Midoriya deflated, allowing himself to be carried out the store by Monoma. Nagisa happily escorted the two out before quickly telling Midoriya to play the piece for her again later. Midoriya rolled his eyes, agreeing to it as he was taken out of the store.
Midoriya sighed, looking up at Monoma. “Could you set me down?”
Monoma stopped walking, looking at Midoriya, “As long as you let me hold your hand.”
Midoriya couldn’t help but smile, looking up at Monoma. “Deal.”
Once Midoriya was back on his feet, he took off his uniform shirt to reveal a slim-fit solid red bishop long-sleeve tee. It was tucked into his pants and matched his res shoes. Throwing the uniform top into his bag, he turned to smile at Monoma.
“I just had to get off that uniform top. I wish I had planned on going out, otherwise I would’ve brought a full change of clothes. Anyway, lead the way!” Midoriya turned to flash a warm smile at the boy he was now dating.
Monoma couldn’t help but stare at Midoriya momentarily, grateful for the boy he finally achieved winning over. Taking the boys hand, Monoma smirked.
“Alright, you better get prepared. I’m about to take you out on the best first date ever.”
Midoriya smugly raised a brow, slightly squeezing back Monoma’s hand before walking forward to signal it was time to move. “Well, I’m waiting.”
Midoriya officially had caught each of his bullies by surprised. In more ways than one. All three felt anger. The problem about that was that they weren’t sure who it was directed at. Either way, Midoriya scored a sexy boyfriend and the envy of his stubborn bullies that refused to accept his success.
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catsandconfusion · 3 years
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hi I have adhd and sometimes I get hyperfixated on things and needlessly write essays about them and HERE’S THIS ONE don’t worry it’s about adhd
Ok I'm very tired and also PMSing and miserable so expect this to be super coherent. It addresses how adhd brains are different than NT brains and touches on the role of estrogen in adhd.
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It is a myth that serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine are just for happy feelings. (Also, they are not receptors, they are neurotransmitters.)
Definitions: "Serotonin is the primary neurotransmitter in the sympathetic nervous system where it works on the activity of various organs in the body to control blood pressure, heart rate, liver function and many other functions." "Dopamine is involved in many functions, including motor control, reward and reinforcement, and motivation." "Norepinephrine is the primary neurotransmitter in the sympathetic nervous system where it works on the activity of various organs in the body to control blood pressure, heart rate, liver function and many other functions." *
Sooooo, the brain. You'd think the pathways in it (neurons, which are the cells that make up the brain tissue) would be connected. NOPE. That would be TOO EASY. Instead, when a neuron wants to talk to another neuron it has to send an electric message (action potential, but I’m going to call them emails) across a gap and hope it gets there.
Here goes our email traveling through our brain, whee! It gets to a gap in between neurons. There are little chemical creators (synaptic vesicles) on neuron 1 who get ready to send the email across to the receptors on the neuron 2 - they do it by releasing the neurotransmitters. "Fly, my pretties, fly the email across the giant gap!" the chemical creators cry. And thusly the email makes it safely to neuron 2 and travels onward. And then the vaccum cleaners on neuron 1 suck up all the neurotransmitters so they’re ready to do it again.
ok buuuuuuut now you have adhd. The chemical creators say fly my pretties and release the neurotransmitters........AND THEN THE VACUUM CLEANERS SUCK THEM RIGHT UP AGAIN BEFORE THEY GET THE EMAIL ACROSS. BAD. NAUGHTY. NO THANK YOU. (Also, I think sometimes the receptors on neuron 2 also just don’t work right. like imagine throwing a ball to someone and they just watch it bounce off of them. and you’re like “are you gonna pick that up?” and they’re like “it’s too late.” AND THEY’RE RIGHT.) Oh, AND there’s a RIDICULOUS number of neurons (more than you’re thinking. no. more than that. way more.) so the email has to make it across ALL THE GAPS BETWEEN START AND FINISH OR IT’S LOST. SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES FOR FAILURE.
So how do we BEST these evil vaccums (ok not evil just VERY proud of their jobs and TOO efficient). Meds is one of the ways! Some are called “stimulants” because they “stimulate” the chemical creators to produce more neurotransmitters. Now the vaccums can’t clean it all up before the email gets across!! Boom! Vaccums defeated! Different kinds of meds boost different kinds of neurotransmitters, which is why they have different effects. Here are some examples: Methylphenidate and dextroamphetamine both boost dopamine. Strattera, not a stimulant, boosts norepinephrine.
https://youtu.be/ouZrZa5pLXk?t=1324 here is Dr. Thomas E. Brown explaining this in a more scientific way (it's not boring!) (also I really like this video, it's definitely worth it, AND it has subtitles!!)
Ok here’s where I’m a little cloudy, I’m not finding any super recent info on this. It seems like estrogen can ~transform?!~ (but i’m not joking) into a neurotransmitter!!! omg yes another way to thwart the vaccums! But then throughout our menstural cycles (and our lives) the amount of estrogen ebbs and flows, and thusly our adhd brains freak out (fine, I mean get worse adhd symptoms) as their amount of neurotransmitters varies. (And then our bodies also freak out and give us all our highly upsetting pms symptoms because estrogen contributes to sooooo many things.) Hooray bodies.
Dear science ppl, if I fcked this up i’m sorry i’m a theatre teacher lol. k byeeeeee!
Go forth, and speak out against the myth that is dopamine and serotonin are just happy feelings (Because it contributes to people hating us for taking meds yay.)
P.S. I’m having a really weird feeling because the part of me I use to think is like hey she’s reading about us! What a weird loop, haha.
*Source: Australian Brain Institute https://qbi.uq.edu.au/brain/brain-physiology/what-are-neurotransmitters **I got too tired to cite the rest of my sources sorry
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wondernimbus · 4 years
Text
forgive and forget — harry potter
pairing: harry potter x female!reader
prompt: “kill everything dear to you and then you will know how it feels.”
t/w: mentions of death
a/n: this is set a year after the battle of hogwarts! wrote this at 1am n havent proofread it so chances are it sucks but i’m posting it anyway bc you only live once am i right folks
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In the darkness and silence of a winter's night, the water is eerily calm—too calm, almost, with a foreboding feeling hanging over it. At the edge of the lake stands a girl whose heart has long since grown much too cold to feel anything but the wide, gaping void inside of her chest. She doesn't shiver; just stands there, holding her wand at her side, gaze fixed on the reflection of the moonshine against the shapeless water, waiting.
And waiting.
And when the figure appears from behind her—a loud, almost deafening snap in the complete and utter silence of the woods, she doesn't turn around right away.
Instead, she twirls her wand in her hand, frowning down at the lake as though expecting something to break through the calm surface and swallow her whole, carry her down into its depths and leave her somewhere deep, deep down, away from the rest of the world.
Thinking about it now, it doesn't sound that bad.
"Did you miss me?" are the first words that leave her mouth since having arrived there. Her voice is as dangerously calm as the lake. Just as foreboding—and it sounds like a warning.
But Harry doesn't heed it. Instead, he stands there, a mere five feet away, watching as she turns around, slowly, to face him.
The last thing he expects is for her to look at him the way she used to. He doesn't expect her to run toward him, take him in her arms, and hug him the way she used to, long ago.
Harry should be prepared for this. But when her gaze meets his and he makes out her eyes in the darkness, cold and unforgiving and void of any emotion, he can't help the way he sucks in a breath, how his heart clenches inside of his chest.
A strange chill settles over him. Sickness; something horrible swelling up in the pit of his stomach as he stares at the girl in front of him. It's not just the look in her eyes that is different. Her hair is cleaner. Shorter. More mature, tucked behind her ears and down her back. Without it framing her face, Harry's eyes are free to roam over the rest of her face, which is gaunt and sunken; there are bags under her eyes so deep he starts to debate whether or not he's looking at a corpse.
It's like seeing a memory that has haunted Harry for decades, when in reality it has only been a year. He knows that face like the back of his hand: her eyes, dark and barely crinkled at the corners. that nose, those careful lips. She is older, but so is Harry. She is a stranger in so many ways, but Harry would know her anywhere.
"[Y/N]," he breathes out, throat tight. His fingers grip even tighter around the wand inside his coat pocket. There's an undeniable sense of fear—dread—coiling around his heart. She stares at him, eyes still hard as ever.
And then her lips tug up at the edges. Her smile is bitter. It's the first real trace of emotion she has let slip, and Harry wonders if he should feel relieved that [Y/N] is still human and capable of feeling. Even if she is angry.
The worst part is that Harry can't blame her.
"I'm sorry," he says, voice barely a whisper.
The smile grows. Suddenly she's laughing—cold, harsh bursts of laughter with no real humor to it. Harry clenches his jaw, watching her. His heart is pounding erratically in his chest; he doesn't know if it's because he senses she's near and yearns for her, the person who it used to beat for, or if it's because it's scared of her.
Oh, how things have changed.
"Sorry?" she repeats, her laughter fading away into the night, replaced by a deadly sort of tension that now hangs above them. "Sorry?"
Harry feels sweat trickle down the side of his temple.
"You're sorry." Her voice is laced thick with equal parts mockery, disbelief, and anger. But even then her eyes are cold and blank as ever.
Since when had she gotten so good at hiding what she truly felt?
"I don't know what else you want me to say," says Harry through gritted teeth, hand tightening around his wand.
Her lips curl. She stares at him for a few moments, unspeaking, and then she nods. "You're right," she says curtly, turning once more to look at the lake behind her. "You know what, Harry? You're right. You killed my parents and walked away from it like it was nothing. There really isn't much else to say other than you're sorry."
He swallows. He can't feel guilty. He can't. "I'm sorry," he says again, unable to hide the way his voice trembles from frustration. Or is it fear? He can't quite tell anymore. "But I did what I had to do. They worked for Voldemort—"
"So you killed them," [Y/N] says, tone ominously void of emotion. "With no regard for their real motive. Without bothering to listen—"
"I had no choi—"
"And realize that they did it to protect their children." When she whips around, Harry sees that her facade of calm has slipped away completely—instead there is pure, unadulterated anger flaring in her eyes. "You say you had no choice but neither did they."
"They were Death Eaters," says Harry, taking a deep breath through his nose, sounding like he's trying to convince himself more than her. "It hardly mattered why they went to Voldemort's side. What mattered was that they did."
She scowls and takes a step forward. Angry eyes boring into his, she hisses, "Did it matter to you that I loved them?"
Harry's fingers feel cold, his neck too hot, the air pressing into him from all sides. He can't feel guilty.
He can't.
"It had to be done," he says flatly, fighting to maintain her gaze. He wonders if he's imagining the way her eyes seem to be glistening with tears. "I'm sorry. I know you loved them but it had to be done."
Harry is right; when she blinks and turns away, he doesn't miss the bead of liquid that rolls down the side of her cheek. All of a sudden he finds himself wanting to leave—to apparate away before he can hear any more. Because this is something that has haunted him for a long, long time, and even then, it is only now that he realizes he isn't quite ready to face it yet.
But here he is now, anyway, standing in front of the girl who once loved him and who he once loved—and maybe part of him still does, even after everything. But Harry knows better than to fool himself into thinking he can have her again.
Not after what he did.
Harry inhales. With difficulty, he keeps his eyes on hers despite the need to tear them away. To turn away and never once look back. But he has to do this now—it's his only chance to finally put an end to all the conflict that has been bothering him ever since he last saw her.
"I know it feels like you'd be turning your back on them if you moved on," Harry begins. This time his voice doesn't shake. "But they're gone. I'm sorry, [Y/N]—"
"Don't call me that."
"Your parents are gone," he repeats. He sees her trying to harden her gaze again—trying to build her walls back up—but she fails, lips pinching. Harry knows it means she's trying to hold her tears back. "They made the wrong choices and they suffered for it. I know what it feels like to lose people you love, but—"
"Do you know what the difference is between you and me?" she cuts him off. Her lips are trembling, angry tears spilling onto her cheeks. "It's that you picked yourself back up, even after you lost people. But I didn't. I haven't. And I don't think I ever will."
Harry feels his heart squeeze into itself inside of his chest.
He's fighting a losing battle. She isn't listening; she's too far gone.
"Do it again." Miraculously, despite the tears on her cheeks and the anguish in her voice, she still sounds ruthlessly angry. "Lose the people you love again. Kill everything dear to you again and then you will know how it feels."
Harry watches as she heaves in a deep, shuddering breath. He doesn't try to say anything anymore—knows that nothing he will say can ever truly heal her.
And with one last pained, scathing look, [Y/N] apparates away.
He never sees her again.
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nade2308 · 4 years
Note
Whump drabbles — Separated for Mac & Jack ☺️
Hope this one is good ;) 
Alina Chernyshevsky was a Russian scientist working at a lab in LA, on a scholarship who was kidnapped by a rogue crime group almost a week ago. The Phoenix was tasked with recovering her and capturing any of the members of the group they could find. It turned out that the son of a banker, the daughter of a businessman and the brother and sister, the kids of one of the most powerful Romanian crime groups had one thing in common. They wanted to get out from under the shadow that their parents put them in. So they formed their own union, and thanks to the ties Andrei Bogdan, their leader, had from his father's world, they quickly made their way up in the underground dark world. Climbing up the ladders, they did the odd jobs here and there, hits on important people for hire, and it was based on their combined knowledge of the finances, the system and the law, that they stayed undetected and under the radar for so long. Until Alina discovered some sample or another in the lab that was brought for testing and she made herself a target and was kidnapped in broad daylight. 
When the search for her didn't yield results, the team stepped in to try and find her. And if their intel and the search that Riley did on the dark web was correct, they were on their way to rescue her. 
Mac and Jack split up to cover more ground while Riley provided tech support from the van as a TAC team was securing the place. 
It happened all of a sudden. Mac found Alina. She was locked in a room with a see-through door and there was someone inside the room with her. It looked a lot like Andrei and Mac had a split of the second to decide what to do before someone put a gun to his neck and punched the digits to the lock. The door opened with a whoosh, sliding to the left and Andrei approached Mac and whoever was pointing a gun at him. 
“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. Who are you and what are you doing on my premises?” 
Mac stared at Andrei. At 6'2'' he was taller than Mac and bulkier, so he towered easily over him. But Mac held his ground and the guy's look. He wasn't going to give in to the fear. 
“You must be here for our beautiful friend here, no? I doubt you got lost out here by yourself… Tell me, pretty boy, is there someone else with you here?” 
Mac tried not to flinch at the pretty boy comment, but was unsuccessful. 
Andrei noticed. 
“Aww, don't tell me no one has called you pretty before… because you are. Now, where were we. Ah, our friend. I assume you are here for her?” 
Mac still didn't say a word and watched with a bored look. At least he hoped it looked bored. 
“I've been into business since before you were born, boy, so I suggest you start talking. Or I'll make you talk.”
The suggestive once over Andrei gave him made Mac feel nauseated. The indication of how exactly Andrei planned to make him talk… 
“If you won't talk, I will continue talking with my friend Alina here. Sonja, take him to another holding cell.” 
Those last words were spoken on Romanian and thanks to Mac learning a brief and short course in Romanian he was able to understand. 
"Wait. Wait. I… I'm here to trade myself for her. Our government wants her. And they are willing to make the exchange. Me for her."
Mac could see Alina's surprise. It wasn't like she knew that he was bluffing, but if he could get her out… then maybe Jack was right behind him to help. Mac could do that. He could stall. 
Andrei seemed to consider the trade and then he nodded and motioned for the guy… or rather the woman who was holding him at gunpoint, to grab Alina. 
"Very well, you will get what you want. You in exchange for her. Now that she is out of our way… what are you offering in return?"
Mac gulped. This wasn't part of the plan. He was supposed to get her out and then… then what? 
Think, genius, think! 
Where was Jack? 
As if on cue there were sounds outside in the hall of flesh hitting flesh and Mac sighed in relief. But it was short lived because before he knew what was happening, Andrei was shoving a butterfly knife to his side. 
"As much as I like to have fun with you, I'm sure you'll prove yourself quite useful…" Andrei let his gaze linger on Mac's body, driving the knife deeper, "I must go. La revedere, dragul meu." 
In a flash, Andrei was gone and the door closed behind him. Mac realized what was going to happen when he saw Andrei use the same knife he stabbed him with, to jam the key code panel and thus effectively locking him inside. 
He looked at the wound in his side, it was deep and already soaked the side of his shirt and jeans. Wearing white shirt didn't work well with the blood, and Mac knew Jack would panic when he saw it. 
Mac pressed against the wound with both hands, as hard as he could. It stung and it hurt, making him yelp and twist in pain. 
He heard footsteps and could see that Riley and Jack were coming to him. 
Riley was the one who saw him first and she couldn't hold the gasp that escaped her lips. That in turn alerted Jack who was staring at the ruined panel. And then Jack saw him. 
There were so many times Jack got scared for his life early into getting in the Army and then the CIA. But as time went by and he saw close combat, came in touch with death and cheated it, he became sort of immune to all the talk about mortality and death and most of all fear. He made peace with himself that at one point he'd die, sooner rather than later. But that didn't make it any easier when he acquired the kids. He was in a desperate need to stay alive. He wanted to be there for them, and dying would defy that purpose. 
Right now the bone deep fear he felt was not for himself, but for Mac, who was bleeding from somewhere in the general direction of his left side. If Jack had to guess, it was from a stab wound. 
Currently he stared daggers at the little knife standing out of the ruined panel. Mac was locked in. And Jack didn't know how to get in. 
"Jack…" Mac gasped then and Jack's attention got diverted to Mac. 
"Hey, Mac." 
"I'm sorry…" 
"What are you sorry for?"
"For getting stabbed." 
Jack felt a stab of fear go through his heart at those words. 
"Oh kiddo, it's okay. Not your fault. We'll get you out." 
Jack could see that Mac wasn't convinced of it, but Jack had to make sure Mac didn't lose hope. They would find a way out. 
Jack already checked the door and while it looked like it was made of glass, Jack had seen enough to know it was reinforced, and he didn't want to risk putting a hole in Mac while trying to shoot at the glass. 
The panel was jammed, and even if Jack pulled the knife out, the circuit board was shot to hell. At least, Jack thought so. 
Riley was typing on her laptop furiously fast and Jack could see that she was just as worried for Mac as Jack was. With the corner of his eye, Jack noticed that Mac was now sitting on the floor, head leaned against the glass door. The shirt was soaked now and Jack wanted to scream. 
"Hey, Mac, talk to me buddy? How is it looking?" 
"I'll live. I hope." 
Jack cringed at the sound of those words, but Mac wasn't far off how it looked, so for him to say that… Jack figured that it must feel even worse than it looked. 
"It's going to be okay. We're working on getting you out. Ri?" 
"I can't hack this Jack. I am trying to access it remotely, but the knife must have hit the main motherboard. Sorry." 
Riley sounded dejected, but Jack refused to give up.
"How long till we get a team to get those guys into custody?" 
"Thirty minutes." 
"Get me the closest hospital and tell Matty to clear things with them. We need them to have someone on standby for when we get Mac out." 
"Jack…" 
"Yes, buddy." 
"It hurts…" 
Jack hated to see how Mac looked even paler than he was. What he hated even more was that greyish tint his skin was getting. They really had to get him out of there. 
"Look at me, bud. Mac?" 
Mac took a few seconds too long to look at Jack and Jack did the first thing his heart told him to. He put his palm up against the glass, and waited until Mac got his palm mimicking Jack's. 
"I know I'm not there with you, but I'm here, boss. I'm here. I ain't goin' anywhere until you get out of there, okay?" 
Mac nodded, getting weaker. 
Jack took a look around the room and except for two chairs and some ropes that were lying haphazardly Mac was the only thing or person inside. He was out of commission for the time being. Until something came to Jack. 
"Hey, Mac?" 
"Mhm?"
"Remember when Patty locked you in the interrogation room for your own safety. When Murdoc was hired to take you out?" 
"I do." 
"You think we can try and do the same thing here? With the code and the wires?"
Jack could see Mac lifting his head slowly. He had both his hands pressed against the wound now and Jack was left staring at the bloody imprint where Mac's hand was before. But Mac seemed to perk up at the mention of a possible plan. Nevermind how far-fetched it sounded or how it may not even work… Jack was desperate enough to try. 
"I… I don't know if there's enough circuit connected to the wires…  To the wires." 
Mac sounded winded, and that last part was whispered before he said it louder, and that was all the motivation Jack needed to go through with this plan.
"It's worth a try. Did you see the combination on your way in?" 
Mac nodded and as Jack worked around in trying to locate the wires and pry the cables off of the secured posts, Mac did that on his end as well. Thankfully they didn't take his SAK or paperclips, so with a little bit of a push, they both started working on the wires. 
When five minutes later the door opened with a whoosh and Jack rushed to get to Mac, it was all the relief he could feel before he had an armful of his kid, unconscious. 
Jack looked up and pleaded for one more miracle. 
Mac slowly came to the beeping of monitors and the standard hospital smell of disinfectant, meds and industrial bleach cleaner. Not to mention the scratchy gown and the crinkle of the pillow under his head. 
He slowly raised his hand that wasn't connected to an IV to touch his face and found he had a nasal cannula attached. There was something warm around his other hand and with a little bit of effort he turned his head and found Jack holding his hand, and sleeping with his head propped on his forearm. 
Mac was too tired to keep his eyes open so he gently squeezed Jack's hand and went back to sleep.
The next few times he woke up were a mix of doctors and nurses asking him questions, his vitals being taken, and after the third time he actually managed to stay awake for longer, they decided to transfer him to a regular room. 
Jack was there every step of the way, fussing over him, adjusting the pillows just as Mac wanted them, pulling the blanket higher, and generally just being a fussy parent. 
Mac took it because he knew how worried Jack was and Mac secretly loved when Jack fussed over him. 
Once the doctor left the room, Jack took his usual place at Mac's bedside and Mac relaxed more in the fluffed up pillows. 
"Hey, it's good to have you back, sleepy head." 
"It's good to be back." Mac grinned. 
"Oh, they've got you on the good drugs, huh? You are grinning." 
"Maybe I'm just a little bit high." 
"Only maybe a little?"
Mac burst in a fit of giggles and it took him a while to get himself under control. 
"You scared me, kid. Don't do this to me again, okay?" 
Mac solemnly nodded, fully knowing he'd do it again. But it was all he could offer to Jack now. And it was enough for them both. 
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imaginesnkdorks · 4 years
Text
Our Dream [Armin x Reader]
Pairing: Armin Arlert/Reader
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: None
Summary: Armin has always been motivated by his dream to see the Ocean - to see the world beyond the walls. Clearly, meeting someone with the same goal; the same dream is one of the best feelings in the world. Armin is truly thankful to have that.
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         After the fall of Shiganshina – of the whole wall Maria at that – Eren decided to enlist. It’s something anyone would expect of Eren, anyway. Besides, it’s something he has always wanted. Armin, on the other hand, surprised both Eren and Mikasa when he declared he was going to enlist as well. After all, he’s tired of his friends fighting his fights for him. He wants to be able to finally do something. And maybe someday achieve his dream of seeing the ocean.
         His plans are already set, and Armin is nothing but focused in fulfilling them, so why was he letting himself get sidetracked and distracted? He can’t help but pay his undivided attention to Y/N. He can’t even explain it, but Y/N just stood out to him. She’s soft-spoken but headstrong, smart but not overly serious, and is absolutely beautiful.
         “You’re staring again.” Eren said for what is probably the fourth time that day. The contrast between Armin’s blonde hair and his red face is outstanding. “I’m not.” He murmured. He knows it’s in vain, yet he still felt compelled to lie. “I think you should talk to her.” Mikasa told him in between bites.
“I don’t even know what to say to her.” And that is where Armin’s dilemma lies. Among the three of them, he’s probably the most likable, but his meek nature doesn’t really push him into initiating conversations – let alone try to flirt with someone.
         “Just tell her you like her. What was it you said the other day? She’s the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen?” Eren teased, a very naughty smile on his face. “Wha - ! Eren! I didn’t say anything like that.” Frankly, Armin isn’t really sure. He might have said something like that… it sounds like something he’d say, after all.
��        “Eren’s right. Just be honest. Y/N likes you too, you know.” Mikasa told him before she focused back on her soup. She seems so indifferent, but her words seemed to shift Armin’s world. “She likes me, too?” He feels like he could jump for joy at the news. Seriously run through the streets and yell in celebration. Still, doubt clouded his mind.
         “How would you know that, Mikasa?”
         “Because, Armin, Y/N is as obvious as you are.” Really, Mikasa seemed scandalized at that – as if Armin should have known this all along! And to think Mikasa of all people would notice something like that.
         Armin felt ice course through his veins, not out of fear or disappointment but due to sudden and uncontainable excitement. His heart seems to be jumping around his chest. Now, what to do with that information? Should he listen to Eren and just walk up to Y/N and tell her how he feels?
         That thought stayed with Armin for the next days, and he obviously seem distracted during training that even Ymir who couldn’t possibly give a damn about him noticed.
         “Are you gonna eat that?” Sasha asked, pointing towards Armin’s untouched bread. Well, she asked but she didn’t wait for an answer. It was already half inside her mouth before Armin got to react at all.
         “Hey!” Armin whined – fully aware that it’s too late to save his bread.
         “That’s what you get for daydreaming about Y/N instead of eating.” Ymir commented, her ever smug grin present on her face. It was like a needle dropped in the whole mess hall, because of course Ymir is just that loud! And against his will, Armin looked at Y/N’s direction – finding her blushing and looking straight back at him. In a rare surge of boldness Armin spoke, “Ymir, don’t go exposing my secrets now.”
         Cringe. Armin can almost feel everyone cringe at that. He regrets it the moment those words left his mouth. To make matters worse, Connie led everyone in laughing at him. Armin did the honorable thing to do – he ran outside.
         Before he can fully marinade in his tears and drown himself in his embarrassment, Armin heard footsteps approach him. Assuming it’s either Mikasa or Eren, he reassured them right away. “I’m okay.” The voice that answered him took him by surprise.
         “Good to know. Also, I saw Sasha take your food. I bet you’re still hungry so here.”
         “Y/N?” You’d think a million different thoughts would rush around in his head at that moment, but there was actually nothing. His mind was completely blank, especially when he felt Y/N’s warmth as she took a seat beside him. Y/N is starting to double think her approaching Armin since he’s just looking at her.
         “Uhmm…” Y/N tried to hand her bread to Armin once more, the action finally taking Armin out of the trance he seemed to be in. “Thank you.” Silence took over them once more. What was he supposed to do or say now? Armin wished he read something about this… talking to girls. He talks to Mikasa all the time, so why is he having such a hard time?
         “Y/N, about what Ymir said…” Armin’s at a lost. Was he supposed to brush it aside and lie to her about his feelings? Is he supposed to confess now?
         “I’m sorry Ymir put you on the spot like that. That wasn’t very nice of her.” Armin can’t help but smile at that. “Yeah, but I’m used to it. Ymir and I don’t really get along.”
         “I think Krista is the only one she likes!” Y/N commented with surprising cheerfulness. The two of them ended up talking about their fellow trainees that night, Armin totally stopping from overthinking and actually getting comfortable with Y/N.
 ----
         “No! I can imagine Eren doing that, but Mikasa?” Y/N said, plucking another flower from the little cluster they’re sitting by. “Yes, well Mikasa can get pretty violent when it comes to protecting us – especially Eren.”
         “I think I understand. You two are her precious friends after all. Here.” Y/N then handed a flower crown that she’s been making to Armin. “Wow, this is beautiful.” Armin said, proudly wearing Y/N’s gift. “It is. Looks like Persephone blessed us really well this spring.” “Persephone?” At Armin’s question Y/N tensed up. “Ah, nothing! We’d better go to the dining hall before Sasha inhale every bread in the room!” Y/N went on to do just that, leaving Armin behind.
         Armin found it odd, but not really unusual. Y/N seems to be having a hard time totally opening up to him. It’s like there’s something she wants to tell him but would change her mind at the last minute. A clear example was their interaction earlier. Armin made it his goal to make Y/N comfortable around him.
---
         Out of breath, Armin stood just outside the little cottage he and his team would be staying at during this exercise. Reiner helped him out again but he still feels as though he carried the world on his shoulders. “Armin! There you are. Here, I bet you’re thirsty.” Before, Armin would have been embarrassed at the thought of Y/N seeing him breathless and sweaty. Now he’s just happy to see her.
         “Thank you!” He said, taking the offered canister. “You’re welcome. The instructor said we’re free for the rest of the night, by the way.” After finally catching his breath, Armin decided to take a chance. “Do you want to take a walk? With me?” Surprisingly, Armin wasn’t nervous. It’s not that he’s so confident Y/N would say yes. But there’s a lower chance of her turning him down, as proven by the eager nod that she gave him.
          Honestly, the terrain was horrible, the view was ugly and the weather was humid but the two of them don’t seem to mind it one bit. They talked about the most mundane things – their breakfast that morning, Bertholdt’s weird sleeping positions, Sasha’s fascination with the mushrooms they saw earlier and Jean’s horse-like face – and yet it’s like it’s the most important thing in the world. Armin hang onto her ever word and she seemed to be doing the same to her.
         “Eek!”
         Armin’s reflexes worked so fast he didn’t have time to think. One moment Y/N was about to fall down due to tripping on an exposed tree root, the next she was in Armin’s arms. “Are you okay?” He asked, face the closest they’ve ever been to her. “Yes.” They stayed like that… close. Close enough to feel each other’s breath on their skin; to count each other’s eyelashes.
         “I really like you, Y/N!” It just felt like the perfect moment to lay his feelings bare. Armin didn’t have time to doubt himself as Y/N’s reply came right away. “I like you, too.” Mikasa was right, after all.
---
         To say they were a hundred percent comfortable with each other isn’t exactly factual. I mean, of course they are comfortable to some extent, but being intimate is just something they aren’t tackling very well. Armin would love to hold Y/N hand as they walk around the training academy, but he’d wonder if he’s being too forward or improper. The teasing from the rest of the guys isn’t helping either.
         What’s more is that there is still that lingering hesitation from Y/N – it’s like she has a secret she so wanted to share with him but just can’t find the courage to do so. In fear of judgement, perhaps.
         Most of the 104th class are doing their laundry, and Y/N and Armin are doing theirs together in silent companionship when Jean, Connie and Sasha decided to break the mundane atmosphere by hitting each other with their laundry – getting even those innocently doing their chores wet.
         “Hey!”
         “Blugh!” Armin exclaimed as he was hit straight on the face. It didn’t damper anyone’s spirits though, as they went on and more joined in. Armin and Y/N actually ended up teaming up on Connie. Soon enough, everyone at the riverbank are soaking wet and red from all the hitting that they were doing – the clothes they were washing definitely not getting any cleaner.
         It took Keith Shadis himself to stop the trainees’ shenanigans and for them to calm down.
         “That was fun.” Y/N said as she tried to fix her hair that’s been sticking to her face. “Oh! Your eyes are so red.”
         Armin could definitely feel a slight stinging sensation. “I think the water irritated my eyes. Heh, I guess I’m lucky this isn’t the ocean, because then – ah!” The ocean. Armin is aware that knowledge of this is dangerous – deadly! It’s not that he doesn’t trust Y/N, but he needs to be careful.
         Y/N then looked around, as if trying to make sure no one is close enough to hear them. “That would have been painful. It is salty water after all.” She said, followed by a deep sigh. “How did you… uhm, you know of the ocean?” She said in a whisper.
         Now, this might be extremely stupid and generous but Armin can’t help but feel like this is the final hurdle they have to get over. “Books.” He answered simply. Y/N then grabbed Armin’s hand – leaving their laundry behind – and went to the dorms. Making sure the rooms she shares with the other trainees is empty, Y/N pulled Armin inside. “I have something to show you and I think you know that it’s between just us two.”
         They soon find themselves standing at the bunk bed assigned to Y/N, facing the small nightstand with at least a dozen books. Honestly, nothing really stands out to Armin. Nothing looks like the books his family owned – those about the outside world. “These are history books? Those you can find anywhere.”
         “Well yes, but no.” Y/N said before grabbing one in the middle entitled Fritz: The Royal Family. It’s probably the most famous book within the walls – only because it was required to be read by everyone. Y/N pulling that one out served only to confuse Armin. “They say the best place to hide a leaf in is in a forest, so…” Y/N then opened the book, showing Armin that the pages inside are nothing about the Fritz family. “I replaced the cover.”
         “The ocean! I know this. It’s talking about how the world has more water than land – there’s also things about the tundra and deserts!” The two of them began talking about the things they haven’t seen but read about. Armin found out that Y/N is fascinated with mythology. He’s surprised to find out that there is a god for everything!
         They mostly lingered on the book called World Atlas. It’s full of nothing but colorful maps and of places they couldn’t even pronounce. “Maybe, beyond the walls, these places are still out there. I’m mostly interested about seeing this rain forest.” Y/N said. It was at that moment when realization hit Armin that they truly are perfect for each other. “Of course, before getting there we’d have to cross the ocean. I wonder if it’s truly as beautiful as it is in these drawings. That’s my dream.”
         Before he can stop himself, Armin leaned over and captured her lips in a sweet peck. “What?” Surprise was etched in Y/N’s face, but Armin won’t miss the cute flush of her cheeks. “That just felt… right. Don’t you think so?” Armin said, flashing a confident smile. “Let’s try that again.”
Copyright © 2020 by imaginesnkdorks. All rights reserved
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theowriteswhatever · 4 years
Text
Zuko Story With No Title Part 7
This is probably my least favorite part of the story, because I am incredibly bad at writing action. Regardless, I hope you enjoy and the next part should be out tonight. Thanks for all your support!
-Your pal, Bubbles
Everything was so peaceful. Toph was in her earthbent prism, Aang was curled up on Appa’s back, Sokka was in his tent, and Katara was warmly wrapped in her sleeping bag. And best of all, they were all asleep. It was the best time for me to do something I needed to do for a while. 
I made my way away from the camp and kept my eyes wide open for any sign of Sparky Sparky Boom Man. Yeah, everyone else agreed Combustion Man was more appropriate, but I truly believed that Sparky Sparky Boom Man had more of a ring to it. 
I stopped just outside of the Fire Lord’s palace and looked around for any servant or guard that could help me. I spotted a young lady in a raggedy red dress with a messy blue apron over it. Her hair was up in a ponytail and had a matching blue bandana wrapped around it. 
I stood up from my hiding spot in the bushes and brushed off the stray leaves and dirt from my red fire nation dress. I ran my hands through my hair and marched over to her in pretend rage.
“What are you doing out here?” I demanded as I finally reached her.
“Wh-what do you mean?” She asked meekly. She actually looked scared. Which was the goal, but I still felt bad. I had no power over her and she was still afraid. How badly did Azula and Zuko treat these people?
“We’re supposed to be inside preparing for the prince and princess’s return from their beach trip. We don’t have time to dawdle!” 
“I’m so sorry miss. Of course miss.” She responded as she looked down in shame. “It’s quite alright. But I will need a favor in return for sparing you.” She looked up and nodded quickly.
“Anything!” She pleaded. I gulped from the guilt of treating her so poorly. But I knew I needed to do it.
“I seem to have misplaced my maid uniform. I’ll need to borrow yours. You can wear my outfit while you go find a new uniform.” I said firmly, “And perhaps you can find a cleaner one than that old thing.”
“Yes miss. I can do that.”
“Thank you. We must go change in the bushes over there before anyone sees us.” She nodded and practically ran over to the bushes I had just been hiding in. 
She quickly climbed out of her dress and gave it to me as I slipped her mine. She crawled out of the bushes in my stolen outfit and bowed to me.
“Thank you so much for sparing me miss. Have a good evening.” She then quickly scampered inside. I felt bad for her. Azula is already horrible so I can’t imagine what she would do if anyone that served her did a single thing wrong. 
I climbed out of the itchy bushes and once again wiped my outfit off. But instead of making my way into the palace, I turned around and went the opposite direction.
I eventually made it to a tall heavily guarded building and was met by a buff angry man that was quick to question my motives.
“What are you doing away from the temple? You should be preparing for the princess's return.” 
“I was ordered to check on the inmates to make sure they are appropriately suffering.” I said as seriously as I possibly could. He raised an eyebrow and I was almost certain he could see right through me. But I kept a serious look on my face and stared him down as if he wasn’t scaring the heck out of me. He continued his serious glaring and it was almost as if we were having a staring contest. I continued to stare and keep my mouth in a straight line and at this point, my neck hurt from straining so hard to look up at him.
Then all of a sudden, his expression softened and he smiled. “Come right on in Miss. We’re happy to have you!” He turned around and opened the door for me. “Just tell them that Jorgog let you in. They’ll understand.” I smiled and bowed to him before he closed the door behind me. I was shocked by how easy that was, but I wasn’t complaining. 
I made my way down the hallways until I was met with the right door. But of course it was locked. I paused for a second but quickly I remembered my hair clip that I used under “my” bandana. I pulled it out and started to jiggle it in the keyhole, but it wasn’t long before I started to hear footsteps from around the corner. I moved the hair clip around faster, but nothing clicked yet. The footsteps got closer and closer and I kept trying. I didn’t have any other options. The footsteps got loud and monstrous when the lock finally clicked into place. I swung the door open, clambered into the room, and shut the door gently behind me right as the footsteps passed by. I let out a sigh of relief and finally let go of the doorknob.
“(Y/N)?” I heard a familiar voice ask from behind me. I smiled at the gentle tone and turned around.
“Iroh!” I said joyously as I made my way to the cell bars. We reached through the bars and wrapped each other in a short-lived hug.
“What are you doing here?” He questioned with concern laced through his voice.
“I’ve come to set you free.” I admitted. I knew he would warn me that what I did was dangerous and that he wasn’t worth the trouble, but he wasn’t changing my mind. “I know it probably wasn’t the safest idea and I should be more careful, but I couldn’t let you just sit and rot here.” I pulled up my hair clip and began to use it on the lock.
“You didn’t have to do this. I was planning to break out soon anyways.” 
“Of course I had to do this. You cared so much for me in Ba Sing Se, I had to return the favor.” I said as I continued to jiggle the lock, “Plus, when you learned who I really was, you weren’t angry. And for that, I owe you the world,” 
“It takes a lot to make me angry, Miss (Y/N).” He said calmly.
“I bet you’re not even angry with Zuko, are you?” I chuckled as I knew exactly what his answer would be.
“He’s a lost and scared soul. He just needs someone to guide him back to the right path.” Iroh stated sagely. He always found a reason to forgive and I could only hope to have that ability some time in the future as well. “I understand that you must be incredibly angry with my nephew. And I don’t blame you at all. All I ask is that you don’t kill him when you see him again. Anything else is tolerated.” I laughed at how well Iroh knew me and how understanding he would be when I kicked his butt sometime in the future.
The lock finally came undone and I opened the door for him. He gracefully stepped out and wrapped me in another hug. I hugged him back and couldn’t help the few tears that fell from my eyes. “I wish I could’ve come sooner or done more to make it up to you.”
“You did just fine, Miss (Y/N).” I finally let go and stepped back to wipe the tears from my eyes. He smiled at me and I could tell he had shed a few tears too.
“We have to get out of here now. Before they lock us both up.” He nodded and I made my way into the cell. I looked up and saw a metal square gate as a roof with a window on the other side. “We’ll go through that window.”
Iroh followed me into the cell and lifted me up to slide through one of the squares. I barely fit and it wasn’t comfortable, but I made it work. I looked around at the top of the gate, but saw no way to open it. I was about to warn Iroh, but he jumped up and ripped apart one of the squares to slide through. 
My jaw fell to the ground and eyes went wide. I had never seen him do something like that before. “You really were ready to break out, weren’t you?”
“Never underestimate old people.” I laughed and then made my way to the window that was also locked. 
“Make sure no one comes in. I’ll get the window unlocked.” He nodded as I started to work on what was hopefully my last keyhole of the night. I worked for what felt like forever and my arm was getting tired, but I couldn’t give up.
Suddenly the door opened and a man came in. He looked around in confusion for a few seconds before spotting us. Right as he laid eyes on us, the lock clicked and I was able to get the window open. I climbed out almost all the way only to realize that we were up 3 stories and there was nothing to hang onto. “What is it, (Y/N)?” I could hear the guy trying to climb up the cell inside so I had to think fast. 
I spotted a nearby well and pulled water from it to form a large swirl of water. But it could only reach a few feet from the window. I looked back in to see the man coming closer to catching Iroh and I knew there was no other way out. I closed my eyes in fear and pushed off the wall into it. 
I landed hard on the swirl of water and began to sink, but I pulled my way up to the top. The man had reached Iroh but I knew it couldn’t be the end.
“Iroh!” I finally caught his attention and he smiled in relief and pride. He wrestled the guy off of him and made his way out of the window. I reached my arm out for him to take and his hand could barely reach mine. The man approached from behind him and was close to yanking him back down to the cell. 
Iroh let go of the window and fell backwards. His hand fell out from mine and he began to fly towards the stone ground. I panicked knowing I was about to be the reason Former Fire Nation General Iroh died and I would never be heard from again.
But I couldn’t let that happen.
I swung a platform of water out and it caught him right before he crashed to the ground. The platform tilted to gently set him on his feet. I let out a sigh of relief as I gradually let myself through the swirl and onto the stone beside him. We took a few deep breaths of disbelief, but it wasn’t long before our moment of relief was ended. Guards surrounded us and conjured their fire in a fighting stance.
Iroh conjured his too, but I slowly lowered his arm.
“Haven’t you ever heard you can’t fight fire with fire?” I asked the guards. They were confused and let their guards down for only a second. But that was all I needed. 
I broke my spiral and made a wave out of it. I splashed the guards into the wall and froze them there. Iroh seemed impressed, which was a good feeling, but we didn’t have time. I grabbed his arm and made a sheet of ice a few feet in front of us. 
I looked at Iroh to make sure he understood what I was doing and he nodded to confirm. We ran and jumped to slide on the ice. “Go!” I yelled at Iroh as I continued to make more ice for him to slide on. He slid his feet back and forth and was quickly gone.
 I shot icicles at some of the guards’ clothes so that they were stuck to the wall and froze the others. I slid around the building to make sure no one else came and then followed Iroh’s route to the nearby forest. 
I finally caught up with him and melted all the ice behind us so they couldn’t track us. We were deep in the forest near me and my friends’ campsite and I knew this was when I had to split with him.
“This is where I leave you.” I said dramatically. He laughed a little bit and wrapped me in another hug.
“Thank you Miss (Y/N). Not only did you free me, you made it fun.” I laughed a little and then let go of him.
“That’s what I live for.” We smiled at each other and then I bowed. “I hope to see you again soon Iroh.”
“Same to you.” He said as he bowed back. He then walked off into the forest and into the shadows. 
Once he was gone, I made my way back to the campsite and curled up into my sleeping bag without anyone knowing a thing. 
@vintageroses1014516 @leslieanahid @aphrodites-perfume @rintheemolion @shephard17895 @akariblue
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loyally-unfaithful · 4 years
Text
—; i’m bad behaviour but i do it in the best way
word count: 6320
pairing: connor | rk800/gender-neutral!reader
genre: fluff; kinda crack treated seriously
summary: « as a wise man once said: “you haven’t lived until you’ve committed at least one blue collar crime” – wh-i… literally no one said that! he sputtered in bewilderment. – i just did… you said as you stomped on your cigarette. or are you calling me unwise? – yes! that’s exactly what i’m calling you! he exclaimed. you chuckled. – oh come on… live a little. it’s not even that bad. you consoled. »
the android before you was conflicted. you could tell from his yellow led, which kept flickering and spinning. the guy was seriously debating this. he’s intrigued. he wants to try it out, you just have to egg him on.
« i won’t tell if you don’t? you offered. »
you’re sure you had a harder time persuading others compared to this detective model android...
a/n: the time has come. i have inspiration. i have motivation. i managed to unblock myself. i think it’s because of stress? i couldn’t write because of stress lmfao or maybe it’s cuz of that oc x canon snippet i did idk.
both.
and uh, the story went out of hand and evolved by itself.
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ping. a small popup in the top right corner of his hud caught his attention as he rearranged his folders, neatly putting them in his bag.
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[ 1 ᴺᴱᵂ ᴹᴱˢˢᴬᴳᴱ: Love ]
> hey im outside waiting for u xx Noted. <
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he quickly replied and picked up the pace, securing his beanie and wrapping his scarf. grabbing his bag, he excused himself: « see you tomorrow, lieutenant. – wait! connor! the younger man stopped in his tracks, and turned to face the lieutenant. – just… you know how i feel about [ y/n ]... the android patiently waited for him to elaborate. – if you don’t feel comfortable doing what they want you to do, just... know that you don’t have to. he instructed. and if they force you, or hu— – hank. he gently interrupted. the older man stopped his tirade, a mix of emotions on his face: surprise. concern. annoyance. mostly concern. – hank, he restarted. i’ll be fine. he reassured him. i know you don’t trust them, and i can’t force you to, but have a little faith. “in me” in that last sentence unspoken. – i… fuck, i know… but- he grumbled. just, if you don’t feel safe, call me. ok? – of course. he answered. »
before stepping out of the building, the android looked back at his father figure, « take care, see you in the morning. », he did a small wave and threw his best pacifying smile. acute scans heard the older man’s resigned sigh and the twinkle of lingering concern in his features.
once out of the building, his sensors noted the drastic drop in temperature, the warmth and ambient brightness of within was replaced by the cold and windy dullness. it was a rather chilly night, clocking in at 14 degrees celsius, wind blowing rather harshly. wrapping his coat tighter around himself, he heads for where you normally park: take a right from the precinct, a few blocks away. when he reached you, you were leaning on your motorbike, preoccupied with something on your phone, and only noticing the android through his footsteps. looking up, you smirked, and stuffed your mobile into your pocket: « glad to see that they freed you, you said, flicking a cigarette butt away. – yes… i hope i didn’t make you wait too long? he greeted back. – nah, it’s fine. »
you chucked the spare helmet you brought towards him—which he caught effortlessly—« come on, i wanna show you something. »
the ride to the destination was uneventful: it was the usual fare. you sped through the traffic, weaving through the different vehicles at a speed connor was sure was much over the speed limit (he has since given up on informing you as you seemed to ignore him, not keen on slowing down anytime soon).
this location seemed to be some distance outside of the city, as the street grew narrower and darker. the sounds of other vehicles no longer accompanying them. all he could hear was the air that you were blazing through and the humming of the motorcycle underneath you. the cold wind blew from the direction you were heading, and he could feel the rush of air against his body, a sensation that, he figured, would feel chilly and unpleasant if he could “feel” cold. still, he instinctively clung tighter to your body to preserve body heat. he watched the scenery change, sights buzzing by; the dark sky grew clearer and clearer, until a few bright stars were visible unlike back in the heart of the city.
the motorcycle slowed down to a halt, and he dismounted the vehicle. « here we are, you struck out a hand to dramatically gesture at the building. my usual haunt. »—the android squinted as he scrutinised the place, but before he could get a good look, his sight abruptly turned to black, his eyes not yet caught up with the sudden change in lighting. it was as if someone turned off the light switch, the world suddenly plunged into darkness. and apparently somebody did: you finally joined him after turning off the bike, killing the only light source. nudging him to alert him of your presence, you pulled out a flashlight from your bag and flicked it on, illuminating the area once more. you headed towards the building, and twirled to face him. « tada! my happy place, where i usually come to relax after weeks of finals. you announced pridefully. »
[ ᴬᴺᴬᴸᵞˢᴵᴺᴳ ]
he regarded the place apprehensively. to say that it was what he expected it to be would be lie: what he expected to be a warm and rustic cottage, one that exudes cosiness, turned out to be the old remains of an unfinished construction, merely the skeleton of what would be commonhold. it was dark and dreary, shadows covering the empty spaces and the walls. some of the surface were left unfinished, making the “building” perforated, cold and unfriendly. brutal, even. It was clearly dirty, not taken care of, with rubble littering the floors. he analysed the building and was concerned over its structural integrity. it didn’t seem that stable… surely you wouldn’t…?
you noticed your boyfriend’s souring impression and quickly tried to redeem the monument in his eyes: « that look on you face… you hate this... don’t you? you winced. your question caught him off guard, causing him to fumble for a recovery. – i-uh… no! it… has a unique charm. – you’re allowed to be honest, you know? you sighed. – it’s … certainly not what i had in mind, he winced. you bit your lip in a nervous smile. it’s far from prim and proper for straight laced connor, but you hope that this doesn’t end in a disastrous date. – give it a chance, let me show you up there… you’ll love it! you grinned, trying to lighten the mood. »
entering the structure almost felt like entering a different reality: the white noises of the outside world, the hooting of owls, the chirping and buzzing of insects and the howl of the wind were dampened as soon as he followed you in. it was a different realm, where shade crawled about and reigned, the silence deafening and oppressive. « mind the step. you alerted him. » the murk did not deter you one bit, and, knowing the layout of the structure by heart, you led him through different twist and turns, avoiding what he deduced would be multiple deadends. only the light of the flashlight illuminating the way. he followed you obediently, not straying too far away from you, at the risk of becoming lost in this labyrinth. he observed the environment, perturbed. the area contained so many potential hazards, and the thought that you frequented this place often distressed him slightly: though he did not doubt your ability to take care of yourself, he didn’t like the idea that you could’ve potentially hurt yourself every time you went here. he snapped out of his musing millimetres away from colliding with you and directed his attention to what you were currently preoccupied by: a ledge that led to the second floor. « hey babe… how much do you weigh? he took a few moments to answer, but you quickly rephrased. – sorry, you chuckled, that turned out more personal that i thought. can you give me a leg up? you nodded at the protruding wall. the stairs that lead to the upper floors are blocked by rubble so i’m afraid this is our only way up. »
he simply nodded, you securing your light on your belt as he put himself in position against the wall to boost you up. the climb went through easily, and you quickly turned around to pull him up after his running jump. you both quickly stood up, the android dusting himself, ridding his clothes of soot and dust, before you start your trek once more.
« i was wondering—assuming you usually frequent this place on your own—how do you get over that wall by yourself? he asked. – with great difficulty, you answered truthfully. the android rolled his eyes. – obviously, he says, in that lilt that never fails to make you chuckle. – yeah? well i hope you’re not too tired today, ‘cause we have a bit more scaling to do. don’t want you slowing me down, you teased. – as if. he scoffed. »
once on the highest floor, you led him towards an open chamber whose floor was largely intact but had a large gaping hole on one side—one that helped ventilate the room who, compared to the rest of the building, was properly aerated, the air much cleaner and safer to breathe than the musty and stale odor down below. the opening allowed the moonlight to bathe the room in a soft glow, illuminating the occupants with an ethereal white. a second source of light caught his attention: a small fire that you ignited inside a metal drum, a flame whose heat was a pleasant contrast to the cold, an ember that highlighted the place with a stark, warm, orange glow against the satellite’s smooth, cold, bluish-white light.
you sat down unceremoniously on a worn out and unfinished windowsill—resembling more like a vaguely rectangular opening—the android joining you on the opposite side. lighting a cigarette, you took a deep breath and sighed, leaning back and gazing into the sable sky decorated by a plethora of stars. the man facing you mimicked your movements and gazed at the celestial bodies, little lights twinkling in the dark, innocent and brilliant. able to take his time to view the heavens, he noted that it resembles an elysian painting, tinted an aegean blue. accompanying the sight was the rumbles of a rock song he wasn’t familiar with, probably from a rock concert a few kilometres away—making a note to find out and identify the venue. he could feel the deep thrumming of the bass and vaguely hear the melody, and though the dampened music made it slightly harder for him to pin it down, he managed to identify it: a hit song from a local indie band. he turned to face you, your form peacefully resting against the wall behind you, eyes closed; features relaxed. breathing deeply, you blew puffs of smoke with a lazy, yet content, smile.
« so? what d’you think? your eyes were directly on him now. i know you had your reservations about this place...  »
there was a small twitch in your smile, a tell he caught that told him of your nervousness. despite his previous opinion of this place, he could see why you liked it, and considered it your happy place: it was a distance away from the big city, the air pollution and the noise. it was quieter and calmer here, without any of the loud colours and chatter that never seemed to cease. the location also provided a good view of the woods around it and the elegant skies above, along with ambient music. one that certainly fit your tastes, but at a distance that didn’t make the atmosphere overbearing. it was a good place to recharge; to rest and to think, away from the cumbersome responsibilities, if only for a little while.
« i like it... it has a unique charm. he found himself repeating himself. it’s a good place to escape. – do you? as if a switch was flicked, your uncertain demeanour was replaced with a cheeky grin. i’m glad this place grew on you! you stood up and placed yourself closer to the android, sinking back on him. – i... like places like these and exploring them… just glad i didn’t bore you away. »
you sighed as you settled comfortably against his chest, his arms quickly wrapping around your waist to cradle your form in a tight embrace. he replied with a hum of approval. placing a hand on yours, he brings it up and presses a kiss on your palm. you gently caressed his cheek as he did. « i’m never bored when i get to spend time with you, my love. he says softly, earnestly. – you’re not half bad yourself, babe. you replied. »
he smacked your arm in faux disdain as you placed a kiss on his jaw, and the conversation ended after that. It was quiet, but it wasn’t an awkward silence; no, it was a comfortable one. no other words uttered. just the two of you, the crackle of the flame, your thoughts and the heavens. connor is tracing soothing circles on the back of your hand, resting his head on the top of yours—his focus switching from the galaxy above and you—while you simply relish on the warmth of his presence and hum along to the song playing in the background. though you knew he meant what he said, you notice him start to fidget and become restless. you’re never sure if it was due to the fact that he was a tireless android or if it was simply a tic of his, but he’s unable to simply sit and be. he’s already analysed all that could be analysed in this place, and you know it’s something he can’t help but do. he had a constant need to be up and about, doing something or preoccupying his mind with something.
« beautiful night, tonight, isn’t it? you started, catching his attention. there was a few moments of silence before he answered. – but certainly not as charming as you. – ha. smooth one, anderson. » the flame in the drum is dying, the heat it brought fading away: an attestation of the time that has passed. it’s been that long huh? the band has changed to a different song, though it shows no signs of finishing anytime soon. you decided it was time to put connor out of his misery and do something else.
snapping up unto your feet—startling the android slightly—you offer a hand and pulled him up: « i got an idea. and it’s probably going to sound like a terrible, inane idea… – how foolish are we talking? he asked, unfazed after going through with multiple of your “dates”; including, but not limited to, urban exploration, base jumping, and graffiti (he still doesn’t know why he agreed… he remembers you saying « rebel against the humans! ») – i mean… it’s pretty tame considering the stuff i proposed before. you shrugged. he raised a brow in suspicion. – you... might be charged with criminal trespass… you admit and he looks horrified. but! but! you continued. that’s only if you get caught! which you wouldn’t be if you’re with me! you reassured him. – what are you planning to do, exactly? – i was thinking about sneaking in the concert and just bask in the energy. head for the moshpit or something. you’re bouncing off your ideas, hoping it might interest him. have fun, enjoy the music. – i’ve researched that venue, it’s a private property! do you know the charges that’ll be pressed against you? he asked, perplexed. – duh! it’s a misdemeanour trespass, as is stated in the michigan penal code: county jail for 30 days and/or a fine. section 750.552.. you answered nonchalantly. it don’t really matter! as i said: we won’t get caught. – how are so calm about breaking these laws? he questioned, perplexed. for a law student, you seem so adamant to break them… – look, con. i’m not gonna force you to do this. i love you, and i understand that you have a reputation to uphold, being a detective and all. you assured him. i don’t want you to feel that i’m peer pressuring you into this. – i… i don’t.. you notice how his eyes shift, looking to the far left, unable to make  eye contact. you notice that he’s conflicted, that he wants to do this, but doesn’t. you sigh. – look, we can walk back to the bike while you think about it, and you can tell me your decision once we’re there. alright? »
he doesn’t answer, but you know he heard you, so you start to make your way back down, the android following you wordlessly. once down by your bike, you lean on it—rather similarly to how he met you earlier today—and nod at him: « so? what’s you’re decision? – this sounds like a bad idea… still disagreeing, but not outright denying it. you meant what you said: you don’t want to make him do what he doesn’t want to do, but a partner in crime doesn’t sound half bad. you huff. – connor anderson. the connor anderson himself, who snuck into jericho. the same one who infiltrated cyberlife tower in what seemed to be a suicide mission. is scared of a little trespassing? you teased. live a little! – i don’t see how me committing a crime would contributes to my satisfaction with life. – haven’t you heard? as a wise man once said: “you haven’t lived until you’ve committed at least one blue collar crime” – wh-i… literally no one said that! he sputtered in bewilderment. – i just did… you said as you stomped on your cigarette. or are you calling me unwise? – yes! that’s exactly what i’m calling you! he exclaimed. you chuckled. – oh come on… live a little. it’s not even that bad. you consoled. »
the android before you was conflicted. you could tell from his yellow led, which kept flickering and spinning. the guy was seriously debating this. he’s intrigued. he wants to try it out, you just have to say the right things. problem with the rk800 models: they were much too curious for their own good.
« i won’t tell if you don’t? you offered. »
you seat yourself on your bike and turn back to face him: « so, are you in? a moment of silence. the android seemed to have a renewed confidence. – as a law enforcement officer, what’s stopping me from arresting you right now? his eyes held a newfound determination. you smirked lazily. – absolutely nothing. »
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he swears to god, or ra9, or whatever higher power there is, that you will be the death of him.
« get off. your ordered. he followed the command without a word. – we’re gonna walk the rest of the way. you added. »
the concert venue was now at a reasonable distance away, and it was within eyeshot. however, that also meant that everything was much louder. he could now feel the boom of the loud music, and make out the lyrics.
« so i’ve stalked this place before, and i know an entry. here’s the plan: we’re gonna immediately go to the right side. the fence that side is less guarded, since there’s a ditch that leads there; we can hide in there. however there was a drone, just one, and a cctv camera—and we also need to look out for guards—alors fais gaffe1 ok? this far along and he still seemed hesitant, so you give one final push. – too late to back out now buddy. you’ll be fine though. just follow my lead and disable that camera. – wait! you glanced back at him. once inside, what do we do? – just act natural and have fun. you grinned. » and with that, you took off, making your way to the future crime scene. he sighed, still unsure on how you managed to coerce him into this, but jogged to catch up to you.
you hopped down in the ditch, connor not too far behind, and you quickly mentioned, while pointing at a sign that said “no androids allowed”: « by the way, you might want to keep that led of yours hidden. i’ve got some bobby pins if you need ‘em. you motioned to the beanie that he was currently adjusting. »
once he seemed satisfied with his changes, you asked him if he could tamper with the camera, which he swiftly disabled. you come out of your little hiding space and start climbing up the chain link fence, telling connor to keep an eye out for the security drone currently patrolling. what you forgot to tell him was the part where you were going to take it out, catching the android off guard as you throw yourself off the top part of the fence you were clinging on onto the passing drone. your swinging and flailing, combined with your weight pulling it down, caused the contraption to crash and the android—who seemed to have snapped out of his stupor—grabbed a metal pipe lying near the barrier and proceeded to smash the machine. chucking the object to the side, he went to help you up on you feet: « are you alright? – i’m fine. you looked at the metallic junk that was once a drone. we make a pretty good team, don’t you think? he looked back at the destroyed drone. – i don’t want to keep thinking about it… – destruction of property. you clicked your tongue. i’m proud of you con. you pretended to wipe a tear off your eyes. – let’s just go. he turned away , and you follow him up the fence with a chuckle. – cheer up con. you hopped over the chain. it’s okay… you’ve done worse. »
he was about to retort, when a figure seemed to head your way, and you both managed to duck out into a corner before being discovered by the flashlight. when it was clear, you snuck out of the hiding spot and proceeded to join the masses. it was different. he’s never been to a concert before. sure, he was a fan of rock, often listening to it with hank, but experiencing it live was so very different. he knew it would be loud, deafening, but he didn’t expect the surge of excitement and vivacity. it was exhilarating, a completely different world: the bright colours, the loud ambiance, the energy of the music. the android couldn’t help, but let himself get a bit excited. he was glad he decided to come though he’d never admit it to you.
you both floated around the edge of the crowd, the venue being full. it wasn’t a particularly big place, but there were quite a lot of people there, you mused out loud. must be a pretty popular band, their song being catchy enough. at some point or another, you both cheered along with the crowd (though he was much meeker in his cries), and for some reason, decided to try and wade through the people to get closer to the front—the moshpit—this time, the android seemed to play along with your plan without complaint.
he sort of wished he had now. you don’t really know when it happened, whether it was when you rummaged through the people or during a collision while moshing, lost in the intensity of the crowd—every member in state of ecstatic delirium. the beanie came off. when he realised, he quickly hid his led, which was a disturbed yellow, and notified you. you didn’t have to hear what he said to know what was happening. you quickly led him towards the “exit”, the immediate crowd—who saw the black sheep—parting like the red sea as you crossed, but as your neared the edge of the venue security finally reached and cornered you. you quickly placed yourself besides connor, sending across a relaxed body language. you discreetly grabbed his hand, and whispered « play along » which he wouldn’t have heard if he were human.
« how may we help you sir? you asked, flashing your friendliest smile. – i’m concerned about this friend of yours… his eyes glanced at your boyfriend, but you keep your eyes on him. connor was unfazed. perhaps because he trusted your ability in getting yourselves out of this mess—awww, you’re flattered—or that his model are used to high stress environment—most likely, but you certainly hope it was also because of the former. this was a darker area of the place, so it would obscure most of your features, and the band was still playing in the background—ignorant to the revelation—which would somewhat hide your voices. – what about him? curt and indignant. – androids are not allowed in this area. he pointed to the anti-android post outside the fence. the fence that led to freedom. i’m going to have to bring him in for trespass, and you for smuggling him in. androids were recognised as their own sentient species, but laws protecting them have yet to be passed: android-free zones were still legal. most places in the city removed their anti-android signs, but people from the periphery seemed more resistant to change. fuck. – oh that old thing? the led? that don’t prove nothing. you shrugged. be cool [y/n]. it’s just a temporary tattoo. motherfucker lost a bet. you thank whatever gods above that the rk800 models could somewhat control their led colour, so that his remained blue. – is that so? he turned to connor. you seemed adamant on hiding that led of yours. the asshat must have a grudge against androids, huh? You wished he’d just kick you out. make life easier for both parties. – it’s a fake tattoo. he played along. and it’s a bad one at that—i don’t want to be associated with those plastics… he grumbled. you cackled. – well, maybe you shouldn’t have lost that bet, michael. the guard in front of you grunted, displeased. he really wanted to bring in an android huh? prove something to someone? or just pure malice? you never really paid attention in psych class. – if that’s the case, since you’re both humans, i’d like to see your ticket.  »
you went rigid. clenching your jaw you planned your next course of action. you have your phone in your pocket, but there was nothing. you could surrender it, and run away as he was distracted, but he could then trace it back to you and press charges… you could fight? the both of you could easily overpower him, outrunning him wouldn’t be a problem either. but you’ll never hear the end of it if you decided to hurt someone when you had a more pacifist option, so you chose to run. it was abrupt. you were in a standoff, one party waiting for the other to make their move. and all of the sudden you make a break for it and dash off for the fence, your partner running for it too. there was a bit of a scuffle but you managed to fend him off long enough for you to scramble up the fence. the man quickly caught up and yanked your leg—alarming you—though a well placed kick from the other freed you long enough to jump off into the other side, ready to make a dash for your life as you land.
the two of you ran until you reached your bike, which was quite a distance away (thank fuck for that, at least he won’t follow you that far—unless he’s really fucking persistent), where you collapsed on the spot and panted slightly. the android himself was looking slightly weary. heavy breathing turned into wheezing laughter as the absurdity of what just transpired settled into your mind.
« i can’t believe that actually happened! you exclaimed between laughs. – we barely got out of there! he chided. we were almost arrested! – but we weren’t. told ya’ con. should’a believed me. you tsk-ed, having calmed down from the giggles. i’m insulted to be quite honest. you exploded into another fit of laughter. – i don’t know how i managed to get you to do this with me! you howled. – never again. he stated, a finality in his tone. – oh come on, you loved it. you rolled your eyes. he stared at you in silence, unimpressed. it was true, but you’ll never hear that from him. – i hate you, he frowned. – love you too babe, you responded, running a hand through your hair. »
he sighed and let himself fall beside you. taking out your backpack once more, you rummaged through and handed him an item: an inconspicuous water bottle. when asked what it was, you answered « thirium. that’s what you guys drink right? » as you opened your own water bottle, gulping down its content. he informed you that androids don’t need to constantly replenish the thirium in his body like humans did with water—only drinking them when they have lost a significant amount—but that he appreciated the gesture. “it’s the thought that counts”.
you huffed, slightly bashful, going into a tirade about how you can’t keep up with the constantly evolving technology. « you’re starting to sound like hank now. » he chuckled and you grimaced and pretended to vomit in response, though you joined him in his laughter. you both spent time sitting there. just breathing. coming down from your adrenaline rush.
« wanna crash at my place? you offered. – i’d be more than happy to, he obliged. »
that night, you both slept like a rock. well, you did. you completely conked out. connor peacefully entered stasis as he usually did. you arrived at your flat sometime in the morning and passed out. barely managing to blearily have a “shower”—dousing yourself in water—before passing out.
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come later in the morning—when the light shone softly and the white noise of the city: ambient sound of traffic, chatter, chirping of pigeons—you were sleeping peacefully when you felt someone shift beside you, rousing you slightly from your slumber. you groaned as your head gains enough coherence to remember about university and the brunt of the waking world. think you’re gonna play hooky today. maybe kenneth can take notes for you… you made a note to ask him later...
unwrapping himself from you, your partner stood up to get ready to go to work—going off to change into neater clothings that he stored in your house and getting decent—and went off to prepare a pot of coffee for you and stick bread in the toaster. feeling the sudden loss of heat as he went away, your sleep heavy mind blindly felt the portion of the bed that he usually slept on—the right—patting it, looking for the missing presence. this went on for a few minutes and your limb felt heavy as your tired body fell back asleep. you resigned to simply poke your arm from under the cover, hoping it’d catch someone. you were half asleep when the reaching hand finally found something, as it was held and gently guided to another’s cheek, yet another kiss pressed on your palm. you felt your heart melt, and hummed approvingly. « stay. you mumbled. he smiled at your naïve request. – i have to go to work. – skip work… f… ight the government… you yawned. – you know i can’t do that, my love. – i… order you... you sleep riddled mind was struggling to keep up as you slowly dozed again. to… – i’ll see you again this evening, i’ll be right back. oh yeah it’s saturday, you reminded yourself. no classes. you mentally cheered. – okk… you were going to pass out again. »
his warmth left you, and you find yourself yearning for it again. before he left, he glanced back towards you—practically buried under the duvet, only visible as a lump under the blanket and the hand poking through the right side. « i love you, [y/n] »
you were too gone to reply, but regardless, he left for work with a small smile.
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work went on as usual. filling reports was boring, but it had to be done. at least he could finish them in record time, built to be more efficient at it than your typical human officer. being a detective assigned to the anti-android crimes taskforce, it was rather quiet right now, and though he was grateful that androids weren’t being harmed, it was terribly boring. though colin, who had to start all the way back at the beginning as a beat cop, seemed to be enjoying a peaceful break. he sighed for the umpteenth time as he fidgeted and fiddled with his coin, having already abused the fun out of his multiple pens and pencils. he missed spending time with you; at least it was exciting and unpredictable (getting to be with you is an enjoyable bonus). he stared blankly at his coin and sighed again. his father figure gave him a look across the desk—“did anything happen?”. he shook his head.—“no nothing bad or dangerous happened while i was with [y/n].”. the android then asked if he fancied a cup of coffee from the coffee shop across the road. the old man simply grunted.
« you can just take a walk, you don’t need to use me as a fucking excuse. – alright. he answered placidly. »
the android thought about walking to stretch his legs. maybe go to that bakery that you fancied so much. you did like the strawberry shortcake a crazy amount. but as he would find out, the slow and easy moments shouldn’t be taken for granted: a very disgruntled man, who stormed in to file a police report, happened to run in with the android, still somewhat deep in his musings. oh boy was he in for a rude awakening.
they both promptly apologise, however, once they saw each other they instantly recognised each other—though the detective kept his face neutral. « you! you’re the fucking android that trespassed into a restricted area! he accused. straight faced, he replied calmly. – i am indeed an android, but i believe you may have accused the wrong one. there often many iterations of the same model. he cursed his stars and the fates that put him in this situation. one that meant he was, as hank would put it, in deep shit. »
he was glad most people didn’t know there were only 2 rk800 currently in circulation: him and his brother, colin, whom he was trying to contact. as connor continued trying to placate the angry man, and deny his involvement in anything, he heard his brother’s voice come through.
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[ ᵂᴴᴬᵀ'ˢ ᵁᴾ? ] > [ ᵀᴴᴱᴿᴱ ᴵˢ ᴬ ᴹᴬᴺ ᴼᵁᵀ ᴴᴱᴿᴱ, ᶜᴸᴱᴬᴿᴸᵞ ᵛᴱᴿᵞ ᶜᴿᴼˢˢᴱᴰ, ᵂᴴᴼ ᵂᴼᵁᴸᴰ ᴸᴵᴷᴱ ᵀᴼ ᶠᴵᴸᴱ ᴬ ᴾᴼᴸᴵᶜᴱ ᴿᴱᴾᴼᴿᵀ. ] he decided to give him a clear picture.
[ SENDING AUDIO-VISUAL FEED TO RK800 #313 248 317-60—COLIN ] [ LINK ESTABLISHED. WAITING PERMISSION… ] [ ACCEPTED. ]
> [ ᴬ ᵀᴿᴱˢᴾᴬˢˢ ᴼᴺ ᴾᴿᴵᵛᴬᵀᴱ ᴾᴿᴼᴾᴱᴿᵀᵞ ᴮᵞ ᴬ ᴰᴱᵛᴵᴬᴺᵀ ] there was a moment of silence before his brother replied. [ ᵂᴴᴬᵀ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴴᴱᴸᴸ ᴰᴵᴰ ᵞᴼᵁ ᵀᵂᴼ ᴳᴱᵀ ᴵᴺᵀᴼ ᴸᴬˢᵀ ᴺᴵᴳᴴᵀ? ] > [ ᴵ ᴬᴾᴾᴿᴱᶜᴵᴬᵀᴱ ᴴᴼᵂ ᵞᴼᵁ ᴵᴹᴹᴱᴰᴵᴬᵀᴱᴸᵞ ᴬˢˢᵁᴹᴱᴰ ᴵᵀ ᵂᴬˢ ᵁˢ. ] connor replied, sarcastic but devoid of humour. [ ᵂᴱᴸᴸ? ᵂᴬˢ ᴵᵀ ᴿᴱᴬᴸᴸᵞ ᵞᴼᵁ ᵀᵂᴼ? ] the android, who somehow felt a migraine develop—even though that shouldn’t be possible—sighed. > [ ᴸᴼᴺᴳ ˢᵀᴼᴿᵞ ˢᴴᴼᴿᵀ, ᵂᴱ ᵀᴿᴱˢᴾᴬˢˢᴱᴰ ᴵᴺᵀᴼ ᴬᴺ ᴬᴿᴱᴬ ᵂᵂ ˢᴴᴼᵁᴸᴰ'ᵛᴱ ᴬᵛᴼᴵᴰᴱᴰ. ] > [ˢᴱᴺᴰ ᴴᴱᴸᴾ? ] [ ᵞᴼᵁ? ᶜᴼᴹᴹᴵᵀᴱᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴿᴵᴹᴱ ᴼᴺ ᵞᴼᵁᴿ ᴼᵂᴺ ᵛᴼᴸᴵᵀᴵᴼᴺ? ]
the android could hear his brother cackle at his misery. though outside of earshot, the sound echoes in his mind as the link was not yet severed.
[ ᴺᴬᴴ, ᵞᴼᵁ'ᴿᴱ ᴼᴺ ᵞᴼᵁᴿ ᴼᵂᴺ ᴼᴺ ᵀᴴᴵˢ ᴼᴺᴱ ] [ ᴳᴼᴼᴰ ᴸᵁᶜᴷ ᵀᴴᴼᵁᴳᴴ. ] [ ᴴᴬᴺᴷ'ˢ ᴳᴼᴺᴺᴬ ᴮᴱ ᴾᴵˢˢᴱᴰ ] and with that, his brother abandoned him.
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the man was absolutely irate, convinced that he was the one who trespassed in the venue—he wasn’t wrong—be he kept accusing someone of the same profile as him, but named “michael”. you really did him a favour on that one. it seemed like salvation had come however, as hank intercept the confrontation—the man calmed down after seeing a human officer. his brother must’ve informed the lieutenant (connor wants to thank him, but not), knowing how the appearance of two rk800s would only aggravate the situation. through a stroke of luck, the man didn’t have enough evidence to successfully file a report—against an rk800 named “michael”... who didn’t exist.
but to say that hank was pissed was an understatement. thus begins the walk of shame as hank demanded to « talk in private ». at the end of a severe tongue-lashing, decorated with many “fuck”s and “shit”s, he was in a sour mood and positively fuming. forget the shortcake. he was absolutely going to get back at you for this.
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you were snoozing peacefully, off in dreamworld, when you woke up to the buzzing of your phone. groggy, you ran you hand under the pillows and felt for the object until you found it. checking it revealed that you 27 missed calls from an unknown number and a few message from them:
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unknown number [ two missed message ]
> what the fuck did you get connor into? > ???????
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bzz. bzz. a new message?
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unknown number [ 1 new message ]
> i know you saw the messages, fuckibg answer
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you also had a new message from connor, though his message didn’t bode well for you either:
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connard2 anderson <3 [ 1 missed message ]
> we need to talk. > ):<
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the use of the emoji made you chuckle, but you were scared of what the future brought for you. oh boy… you were in deep shit weren’t you…
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e͟p͟i͟l͟o͟g͟u͟e͟:
you lived to see another day. hank gave you an even more brutal scolding than what connor received, and you swore that if this were a shitty choice-that-matters game you’d see a metre for his friendship go down. not that there was much there in the first place.
connor gave an even more punishing sanction: he gave you the absolute silent treatment for a month. no talking, no hugs nor cuddles, and only the odd texts once in a blue moon. an absolutely miserable 31 days for you, spent by sulking. safe to say this was a punishment you’ll never forget, and one that will discourage you from ever trying that kind of stunt ever again.
or at least when connor’s around. it’s free game when it’s just you by yourself. connor knows this and simply sighs in resignation and just hopes you don’t get yourself in potentially future career ruining situation...
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f͟o͟o͟t͟n͟o͟t͟e͟s
1. french expression that i was too lazy to translate, essentially means “watch out/stay alert”,,, somewhere along those lines, but informal. 2. connard is a french word pronounced almost like connor, but it means shithead. reader i have a strange sense of humour.
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kvngjoong · 5 years
Text
wooyoung + nsfw a-z
did you know that wooyoung is officially my favourite sub? sorry jisung, you were replaced. wooyoung deserves it. sorry mingi also
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A: Aftercare
you’ll be doing the aftercare on him. sure, he’ll make an attempt to check you’re okay but the poor baby just wants you to stroke his hair as he smiles at you with love pouring straight from him. pull a blanket over him and cuddle him. that’s all he wants
B: Body part
wooyoung doesn’t have a favourite of yours. he’s literally into all of you. whilst he’s not a praiser or anything, he looks to you with so much admiration (you’re his queen and his face is your throne, hmm?) that he couldn’t pick just one thing of yours that he liked over the other. as for him, he likes his thighs. not sure why. they don’t really have any relevance to nsfw activities but he does like them
C: Cum
he cums within moderation.. it’s not as much as some others, but he usually is a bit messy with it and covers the sheets anyway. prefers it when he can see it on you/around you. or when it’s on your hands. somehow he likes cumming into your hand but he may never actually admit to that
D: Dirty Secret
he is very careful on keeping this a secret, but wooyoung would really, desperately like to see you with one of his hyungs. he’s not sure where it came from, he doesn’t even know if it’s legitimately a want of his or he’s just got a really vivid dream in his head, but he’d love to see you with one of the other members. he’s not sure if he wants it to be another sub, mingi perhaps, or he wants it to be someone like san so you both get to be sub. he kinda wants to see another guy fuck you senseless so you see how it feels to be sub. does that make him a sadist like you? maybe. san it is then
E: Experience
some - maybe he’s done a few things but not much, if anything. most of it is from researching out of general curiosity and a tendency to be into all things that involve him being topped by someone he loves
F: Favourite Position
when you’re taking him from behind, or when you’re on top and switching between riding his dick and riding his face. would wooyoung honestly know what to do if he was on top? hell no. he would look at you with wide eyes and need you to tell him everything to do. he’s a bottom. let him be bottom so it aligns with the natural order of things
G: Goofy
wooyoung goes into a kind of sub space when you are doing anything nsfw. he has the bratty attitude that he turns on and off like a lightswitch and it means that the last thing on your mind, as well as his, is anything funny. he takes his sub role very seriously - and he expects you to take your position seriously too
H: Hair
he keeps it tidy because he thinks it makes you happy (plus he thinks it looks better too). even if you tell him you don’t care, he’ll still keep it tidy and do a little manscaping here and there in order to make things cleaner. probably shaves every so often, too
I: Intimacy
uhh.. hes intimate but not in the way you may expect? when you guys are playing, he will usually shy away from the whole i love you thing and will instead be more in the place of holy shit suck my dick a little more pls. but when he’s about the cum the first thing he thinks of is you, and when he cuddles up to you straight after the only thing on his mind is you
J: Jack Off
when you’re not around, he’ll do it. even if you ask him not to, tell him not to even, he’ll still do it because he’s a brat and brats just can’t be told no, can they? he’ll take the punishment later, he’d rather think of you doing something nsfw to him instead of biting his lip and clenching his thighs all day
K: Kink
wooyoung’s kinks aren’t complex. he knows what he’s into. he wants to be sub, though can play dom is he needs to (to make you angry and so he can tease you). if it’s not bdsm related then wooyyoung probably isn’t that into it. he likes being tied up (who said shibari?) and he likes it when you spank him for being naughty. he also, surprisingly, likes it when you where pretty underwear and play with yourself in front of him. wouldn’t mind watching you with another guy, too, as long as you go straight back to him after. also a masochist
L: Location
whilst the bedroom is ideal for him, wooyoung understands that isn’t always practical and has decided that he can pretty much do anything, anywhere. from a car to a shower, a bathroom to the changing room, wooyoung is down for it if you are. plus there’s more places for him to get caught, which he secretly enjoys more than he lets on
M: Motivation
Usually, it’s something you’re wearing. Wooyoung is a good boy and he’ll sit with his hands in his lap, teeth pulled between his lips, as he waits for you to show him what you bought. You tell him he can look but he can’t touch, though usually he does end up touching you and you’ll punish him for it. Otherwise he’s just been needy during the day and can’t keep away from you, and he’s particularly clingy in the hopes you’ll see he’s a good boy and give him some relief
N: NO
whilst wooyoung is into a lot of things, he doesn’t like cock rings. he adamantly refuses them each time you bring them up, to the point where you no longer use them and stick to other things instead. they hurt him a bit too much for him to handle, much more than he can handle with, say, a flogger or whip
O: Oral
he really likes it when you reward him with both giving and receiving. sometimes he will be clingy with his hands on your arm the whole day, following you around like a lost puppy, as he whispers to you that he really wants you to suck him off. other times he’ll like it when you sit on his face and he has the opportunity to show you how good he can be to you too - since sometimes he feels like he barely does any giving whatsoever
P: Pace
you control the pace for him, obviously, but he likes it when you fuck him hard and fast. masochist wooyoung enjoys the ache, especially if it’s enough to leave him sore when he dances (and he’ll gush to you about how everyone asked him why he was struggling to do a particular move)
Q: Quickie
doesn’t really happy, not unless he’s adamant about it which isn’t usually. only if something has been on his mind for a while or it’s little teaser for later. that’s often the reason for quickies - if you’re trying to tease him for later and leave him with a boner that causes his problems all during the day
R: Risk
he gets pretty shy when you do anything in public, though he will admit it kinda turns him on.. he’s not sure why, but he really does like the thought of someone catching and him doing something private. he’s into the thrill of what might happen next. depending on your views, he may encourage you to do things in public too
S: Stamina
he can go for a while, but the poor boy doesn’t take long to cum. which is probably the reason he can go so many rounds. his record? he’s cum 5 times in an hour and a half. that’s impressive for him. he’s so sensitive that it’s impossible for him to resist cumming when it comes to you - even if he does get punished for it later
T: Toy
he likes them, a lot. he has his own little collection of favourites that he’ll have for your disposal, if you don’t have your own of course. his favourites are a strap on and a butt plug that vibrates, especially the latter since its one of the first things he ever bought for himself. his eyes will practically light up when you either introduce him to a new toy, or offer to use one on him
U: Unfair
tease is wooyoung’s middle name. he knows how to push your buttons and uses it in his favour - even if it just gets him punished in the end. since he’s a bit of a masochist, he will be happy to accept whatever you throw at him, even if he’s dry cumming into your hand multiple times
V: Volume
he doesn’t give a shit about someone hearing him. he’ll scream until his pretty little throat is sore. he’ll make sure you know how much he loves what you’re doing, and your neighbours know it too. rip to anyone you wanted to have a good impression of you, they now know that your boyfriend subs and he gets so into what he’s doing that he cries and he whines louder than their headphones can cover up
W: Wild Card
one day you came home to find wooyoung sitting on your bed, patiently waiting for you to come home. he has a box in his hand, and he encourages you to open it with a wide smile on his face. it’s then that you realise there’s more to it. when you see the black leather flogger, you realise that wooyoung is probably a bigger saddist than you though - not that you didn’t enjoy using it on him later. though it’s likely he enjoyed it more than you anyway
X: X-Ray
on the smaller side, but it’s enough to work with. probably helps that he’s a sub because his size suits his character
Y: Yearning
he’s needy, but in so many different ways that it’s usually safe to assume that wooyoung probably does want you to touch his dick or something. whilst he is needy, it’s not overbearing and he can deal with things if he needs to. so don’t worry, he’s not going to always be calling you because he needs you. just know that he probably is touching himself thinking of you, if you’re not doing it instead
Z: ZZZ
wooyoung has a habit of laying his head on your chest or your stomach, curling up against you and shutting his eyes and accidentally falling asleep. he’s usually worn out from so much you’ve put him through that it’s best to let him sleep. if you don’t, then you’re not gonna be able to have your fun with him the next morning and he’ll be pouty all day because he’s tired (which is cute but… he’s also kinda annoying when he’s tired)
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itsdappleagain · 4 years
Text
CS Season 3 Thoughts...
Okay, overall?? Kinda disappointed, like a lot of people. Only five episodes, its been covered. Its disappointing. But lets go over them, shall we...
The Luchadora Tango Caper
Overall thoughts? Well, this season seems so....separated? Kind of out of character and disconnected. I’ll go over why at the end.
Haha, do the Cleaners do everything?? They can cook, rig explosives, kidnap people, play bagpipes, fly a helicopter...is technology really their weakness? Oops. That’s not for another few episodes.
Poor Cleo. She seems rather out of character in this season too. All she wants is to be warm. Throughout, she seems so...almost inexperienced? Where’s the sharp-tongued, sarcastic, delicate in taste and style Cleo we know? She’s there in places.....just...
They faked us out. I thought we were going to see Carmen tangoing. Also, is it just me, or is there a lot of...leg wrapping...this season..?
Ah yes, thank you, musical cues, I was worried Shadow-san had torn Carmen to pieces since Season 3. That’s her triumph score; maybe its like a “welcome back to cs” or something. Honestly, the whole “she’s been missing all summer” seems weird and unexplained, and unnecessary.
Does Veracruz exist? Yes, it does, how did that fly under our radars?
“I have his eyes” tore me to bits. Oh my gosh what a line. She’s seeing her father for the first time.
Thank you for showing us the 10 passports and giving us some pictures, we will never hear anything about Dexter or Vera after this episode again
She was an adorable baby and Carmen acknowledging this is hilarious
“Who may I have the pleasure of declining?” is another really funny line to me
This fight between Carmen and Spinkick has no suspense and its really a bad one to be honest, but holy crap Spinkick can dent stone lol
It makes a lot of sense that Catching Carmen Sandiego 101 is a class now, lol. I really want to see it. That- those fights were horrible by the way. Does Shadowsan know how to use the bolas? Because we know Carmen sure can’t.
Coach sure does like making messes and ruining tables
Ivy is so supportive this season and I am here for it. Kinda unlike Zack who is just “Hi, I hate fish and I misunderstand names” guy.
Yeah Maelstrom, what the hell did you let her walk for? Brunt easily captured her and you want to enforce sketchy psychological doubts in her mind? What?
Don’t show your face, Maelstrom says to Brunt. You know. After kidnapping a law enforcer with apparently perfect face memory recall who now has your face plastered all over wanted posters. Oh, and that Lutedor you knocked out didn’t see your face either
There is so much indirect calling Carmen good looking this season? What? I mean she is but it is so weird
Zack saying juicy steaks is so so uncomfortable
Carmen is so disengaged this season???? *Finds a link to her mother and pictures of her father* oh its another *sad sigh* link to my past. *Wow, you look like your mother, and I knew her, and her name!* Oh. Can you tell me about her.. Family is Carmen’s main trigger and source of steam in s1 and, mostly, s2. Now we get actual parts about it and she seems like she doesn’t care.
HAHA! Julia even gets her own little entrance with music and “camera” angles. And she is SO dismissively sassy sometimes in this season, I love what little we do get of her. I mean it is REALLY out of character, she hardly ever gets sassy/angry. But everyone is out of character so what the hell might as well enjoy it
“We have a fresh Carmen sighting!” Devineaux: “Haha!” Julia: *sigggggghhh* Julia girl, whats up? Please don’t leave forever. I know you said your head was in the game but your heart wasn’t, but? What? Why? Your heart seems to have been in it in season 2! Did you have a really bad summer??
Player has a space alien and a sock on his dresser and why am I not surprised
Okay, Carmen, because sitting down against a door you’re waiting to open (and you have waited for three seconds) is a great thing to do
Hahhaha Player. “I’m sorry, did you not attend a school for thieves?” Carmen is so sad though “Hey, just broke into your house, I’m your long lost daughter” and she should be sadder about the long lost daughter thing!??! It is so out of character!?!?
And so, Uncatchable Master Super Thief Carmen Sandiego breaks into an unknown house without checking it for people or weapons, after waiting three seconds to be let in. What? What?
The casual use of “mommy” and “daddy” is so, so very strange and I hate it a lot
*Snort* Zack and Ivy are doing their best but it is sot hard to see how they got caught by VILE in TSONTS
jgkjjdf Ivy just slings Zack to the floor and he can not move her an inch
I love Lupe a lot and I hope she returns
Carmen is more wholesome in this season too, it seems, probably because of this whole disengaged character shift but its cute
Devineaux *s t r u t s*
I would be concerned if Chief hadn’t made him take the driving course but I was still terrified for Julia’s life ALSO JULIA JUST. ROLLS HER EYES SASSY QUEEN
How is it that Zack and Ivy haven’t been arrested or killed yet, they have been seen so many times with her
Ah, yes. The famed roses scene. Okay, fine, fine....ugh
Julia is looking for Carmen behind because she learned her lesson with Devineaux! yes
Julia knows what is up but Devineaux gesturing at the trophies is pretty funny
Carmen just gets yoinked off her feet by Brunt and it is the most concerned she has been all season and will be all season because getting lifted off your feet in a crowded public place with strong friends and lawmen all around is much scarier than being electrocuted, kidnapped, and gagged on a plane going to an unknown location
Coach Brunt was the Imposter
“This isn’t your fight,” Carmen says, instead of accepting help from the woman who she has seen easily lift probably 300 pounds or more to help her get rid of the lady who’s tried to murder her like twice and nearly succeeded
Oh my gosh Devineaux actually spots her peeking out and recognizes her instead of blindly following Zack/Ivy and Carmen is PEEKING OUT WHY
Carmen is handcuffed and its really funny She just drags him along like later would be a much better time for her fhdgfkhdhsf Also she is much funnier when she threatens people with a bumbling idiot cuffed to her wrist, although he is much less of a bumbling idiot this season, I must say
Of. Course. Carmen has a device which just unlocks handcuffs why wouldn’t she?!
How is Devineaux not dead
HAHA SHE JUST EXAPSERATEDLY DRAGS HIM AWAY “COME ON DEVINEAUX” that is quiet honestly hilarious to me like “My god why do I have to keep dragging you out of stupidly dangerous situations involving Brunt where you get injured”
Oh? Did they rehearse Lupe jumping off Carmen’s back? Lupe had no way to know Carmen was strong or steady enough to handle that
Saira cackling at Brunt getting beat up is the best thing I’ve ever witnessed and she is drawing a thief cat oh my god
Did Lupe still win if that wasn’t her opponent and she had help from Carmen and a debatably helpful policeman
Julia my child what happened to you? Why are you like Zari now?
Devineaux just can’t keep a car in good condition ever can he? I love how Julia just stands there covering her mouth with her hands
My god Carmen are you going to tell your story and motives to every person you meet this season? Oh? Yes? Oh, okay
No, Brunt, not a single soul saw your face. Nope. 
VILE is so, so very unsinister during most of these episodes. They went from murder and trauma to pumpkin carving and nougat
Well, anyway. I’ll do more episodes coming soon.
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tess-grey-maned · 4 years
Note
Prompt list eh? 👀 👀👀How bout some Thalyssra/Sylv with either the "I love you, but stop talking" or the marshmallow one above it
I HOPE YOU ARE PREPARED COS THIS FOOL DID BOTH
Here, have some Thalvanas, and thank you so much for your prompt @addicted-to-procrastination !! <3
   Thalyssra clatters through the door, dumps her keys in the bowl, throws her bag on the counter as usual and narrowly misses a neatly-iced cake.
 “I love you, but stop talking.”
[EDIT: taken references to police out of the fic. Author does not and will never support police brutality, especially racially motivated, in any of its forms. We're here for soft happy lesbians and that's it thank you.]
   “Fuck!” Rushing to steady it on its plastic stand, Thalyssra peers down at the delicate piping on the top. “I’m sorry? Sylvanas! Why is there an apology cake on the counter? I told you I didn’t care about the Thalassian soup incident, it was a terrible hob anyway and the dry cleaners did a great job on my… Sylv? Where are you?”
   No answer.
   “SYLVANAS WINDRUNNER! I’m being very serious now!”
   Her only answer is the gentle ticking of her grandmother’s leyline clock in the hallway.
   Sylvanas’s Doc Martens are still on the shoe rack. A sleepy bark betrays Dori as dozing in his favourite sunny spot in the living room. An elderly, tatty Eastern Kingdoms PI lanyard is dumped beside the blazer Thalyssra draped over her fiancée’s shoulders this morning.
  Why would she leave when everything is going so well-
   Why would she leave her beloved dog, why would she leave a cake of all things and not a note, Sylvanas loves being passive-aggressive with notes, come on Thalyssra get a grip-
   Is it because we argued about the wedding? About how long into the evening she works? Is she embarrassed that I earn more than her, has she- has she found someone else to go hunting in Eversong with and drink those hideous Thalassian herb cocktails with? Is it Jaina? Someone else as smart and determined as Sylvanas, someone else who talks about everything and nothing with her, like I do, until she’s four glasses of mana-wine down and she’s too tipsy to do anything other than fall on top of them and snuggle into them like she snuggles into me-
   “Thal?”
   Thalyssra looks up to a smirking Sylvanas, hair in disarray, teeth glinting in the evening sun.
   Slumps in relief until Sylvanas steps closer, and those sunbeams catch on the right eye ringed with bruising and the neatly-stitched laceration running through her lower lash line-
   “We got him. We got Menethil, Thalyssra, Lor’themar found his hard drive and a couple of phones dumped in the fireplace but the idiot forgot he’d got it backed up to his cloud and you know how smart Jaina is, she had his login details within seconds, Belore I nearly kissed her when she showed us all the files she’d found and we got him!” Thalyssra’s tugged forwards and into a frantic kiss but Sylvanas has dodged away before she can deepen it, grabbing a bulging folder off the dining table and holding it aloft like a trophy. “There’s proof of his links to Kel’thuzad, and Garrosh Hellscream, and it’s not just drugs he’s been distributing- though we found enough evidence afterwards up in his attic, Belore the smell alone, I might be a bit high- but Jaina found evidence that he’d been involved in trafficking people into Gilneas and now I have to talk to fucking Greymane of all the private investigators, and of course Daddy Menethil has been supplying him with phony bank accounts and funnelling his cut back through the Bank of Lordaeron and with him implicated too, we could be even closer to tracking Kel’thuzad’s movements through the Eastern Kingd-”
   She’s cut off by Thalyssra’s lips on hers.
   Sylvanas tastes sweet, like Thalassian tea, and Thalyssra wraps her arms around her and deepens the kiss. Hears a little murmur of appreciation as she presses in with her tongue. She smells of tulip perfume, and antiseptic, and the soft earthy warmth that has Thalyssra stealing her pillow on mornings when Sylvanas has to be in early, just for a few more breaths of her.
   She breaks the kiss to press their foreheads together, her one hand stroking down the nape of Sylvanas’s neck. Her heart is still pounding in her throat. “What is the cake for?” she murmurs.
   “The- Lor’themar said to get one. Thought that by the time I told you I ran after Menethil with no backup, you’d be too full of sugar to tear into me for it-”
   “You did what?”
   There’s a pause.
   “Shit,” Sylvanas mumbles. “I’m definitely a bit high.”
   Pushing her back, Thalyssra glares down at her. “Why would you do something so fucking stupid? And this is the result, no doubt.” She reaches up to caress Sylvanas’s bruised cheekbone with the pad of her thumb; Sylvanas flinches, unable to meet Thalyssra’s eyes. “Sylv, you’re smarter than that. You knew he was violent.”
   “Yes.” Finally, those hard eyes meet hers. “And the last time we went after him, he hurt Jaina. Nobody hurts my friend and walks away, Thalyssra. Nobody. I care nothing of how rich or entitled he is. Besides.” She bares her fangs in a smug grin, and lifts her bruised knuckles up. “I can be violent too.”
   “I know.” Thalyssra bends closer, stroking Sylvanas’s hair back to press a feather-light kiss to her eyebrow. Can’t help closing her eyes to breathe in that familiar scent. I thought I’d really lost you. “But I know you’re reckless when you’re angry. And from the looks of it… he knew that, too.”
   Sylvanas opens her mouth. Closes it. Looks away.
   Squeezing her arm, Thalyssra lets her go and walks round into the kitchen. “Go and sit on the sofa. I’ll bring you some ice for your eye. Put one of your awful Thalassian comedies on the TV and stay.”
   With me, forever and ever, she wants to say and doesn’t.
   But when she turns back round from the medical cabinet, Sylvanas is only a few steps behind her, now flanked by a lynx-hound intent on bathing her hands in kisses. “It was my hunch,” she announces, bending to scritch Dori behind the ears as he groans in delight. “I told Lor’themar he’d go to ground, and we knew that the property was a holiday home of sorts but it was me who connected it to Hellscream and do you know how I did that? By putting his friend Nazgrim under surveillance for two weeks and having Anya report directly to me every-”
   Thalyssra places a finger over that soft, full mouth. “I love you,” she murmurs against the shell of Sylvanas’s ear, and delights in the shiver that runs up and down her body. “But stop talking.” Hears Sylvanas draw in a sharp breath only for Thalyssra to swoop in and steal it with another kiss. “You don’t need to prove to me how clever you are. I’m not your minn’da. To the sofa with you.” And she gently takes hold of Sylvanas’s shoulders and guides her towards the sofa.
   “Fine,” Sylvanas mutters, and flops inelegantly onto the heaped cushions. “But I hope back to back episodes of Sunsail and Sex aren’t too mind-numbing for- ooftBelorehoundyouareheavy!”
   “Good boy, Dori!” Thalyssra sniggers as a pillow bounces off her side. “Bad girl, Sylvanas. Naughty. Naughty girl.”
   “Keep talking to me like that and I might find I’m no longer in the mood to show you just how naughty I can be.”
   “Nightwell save us from such a fate, Sylvanas.”
   The TV flashes into life, and Sylvanas laughs at Dori’s playful attempts to steal the remote control from her fingers. “Thal?”
   “Yes, dalah?”
   “Can you bring the cookies with you? I’ve got the munchies.”
 -0-0-
 Extra prompt:
 “You’re basically a marshmallow. Perfect for cuddling.”
   They lead the first dance.
   Thalyssra walks with her new wife to the dance floor and pulls her into her arms as the first few notes play. Sylvanas’s silken curls brush the back of her palm, in time with the rhythm they catch and start to sway to; her dress- Thalassian red, in spite of Lireesa’s protests- rustles like blades of grass against her legs. Her intricately embroidered sleeves prickle Thalyssra’s own unadorned arms.
   Thalyssra revels in the sight of her, so majestic and beautiful, and delights in the splay of her fingers against the warm, soft skin of Sylvanas’s exposed back.
   It is a simple Thalassian waltz. Lirath, perched on the stage beside the microphone, plays with tears in his eyes.
   “Was it what you thought it would be?” Sylvanas murmurs. Her voice is low. Her eyes never leave Thalyssra’s. “The ceremony.”
   “More or less, though you were far more gorgeous than I dared hope.” But the smile she was hoping for doesn’t come. “Was it what you thought?”
   Sylvanas does look away then. Her fingers toy with the zip of Thalyssra’s gown.
   “Later, you impatient wretch. Come on. Out with it.” Thalyssra reaches up to tickle her fingertips along that strong jawline. “Was it my gown? I know you’re none too fond of dusk purple. Or did one of my cousins make some stupid comment-”
   “I thought I was supposed to feel some rush of emotion,” Sylvanas blurts out. Her muscles stiffen beneath Thalyssra’s hands. “Some overwhelming- love, or possessiveness, or pride, or- and instead I felt… relieved. That it would soon be over, and we could slip out of the spotlight. That I could just have you to myself.”
   “You weren’t supposed to feel anything.” Thalyssra bends to press a kiss to her forehead. There are other couples venturing onto the floor now, Alleria with her girlfriend Alexstrasza, Ly’leth and Margaux swaying off-beat with their gazes fixed on one another. “There is no one way to marry me. As for some great flurry of emotion- I need no fancy declaration to know you love me.”
   “Do you not?”
   Thalyssra turns them, to shield Sylvanas’s face from the crowd. She won’t let them see her vulnerable. No-one but Thalyssra may see Sylvanas doubting herself. “You tell me you love me when you bring me coffee in the morning before you go to work. When you come racing home through the rush hour traffic because you promised to make dinner tonight. When you hide tickets to Suramar theatre plays in my nightstand and when you worship my every inch in bed. I don’t need you to break down and profess your undying devotion, you know.” She strokes her fingers down Sylvanas’s collarbone and presses them to the crimson fabric over her heart. “I know it’s there. And here.”
   And she reaches down to squeeze Sylvanas’s butt.
   “Stop molesting my poor innocent sister!” Alleria yells from within Alexstrasza’s arms. Sylvanas snorts with laughter, arching an elegant brow. “She’s so sweet and pure!”
   Lirath cackles into his pipes. “Is she Helheim!” he calls down. “About as innocent as you are!”
   Laughter rings out across the room, but it’s Sylvanas’s little chuckle that sounds the sweetest in Thalyssra’s ears, as her new wife rests her head on Thalyssra’s shoulder and closes her eyes.
   The last notes of the waltz fade away. Lirath bows quickly, blowing Rommath a kiss from across the room as he hops down amidst the scattered applause and scoots off towards the buffet.
   “You know, I didn’t feel that rush either, as we stood at the altar,” Thalyssra murmurs as Lirath’s album starts to play over the speakers. “That rush you speak of. But you know when I did? I felt it two days ago, when I cut myself on the vegetable peeler and you had a band-aid on it before I had even finished whinging.” She reaches up to stroke Sylvanas’s cheekbone with the still-tender tip of her index finger. “I looked at you, bent over my hand with your whole face scrunched up in concentration, dabbing that antiseptic as though it were a matter of life and death. And I thought, by the Nightwell, I’m marrying this woman.”
   Sylvanas doesn’t move, but Thalyssra can feel her lips curl into a smile against the tender skin of her neck.
   They stay there, arms round one another, watching in silence as Belore creeps below the horizon and bathes the sky in swathes of pink and red.
   “I would go and get some food from the buffet,” Thalyssra mumbles into Sylvanas’s hair, absent-mindedly fiddling with the hook fastening at the nape of her new wife’s neck. Her new wife. “But I can’t seem to entertain the thought of letting go of you.”
   “Mmn, so don’t.” Sylvanas’s eyes catch the red of the sunset when they open and look up into hers. “There will be food in Eversong.”
   “You’d better not go feral hunter on me. Not out of the bedroom, anyway.”
   “It’s a tent. There is only bedroom.”
   “My point still stands. Come now, my marshmallow. You haven’t eaten eith-”
   “What,” Sylvanas growls, shoving half-heartedly at Thalyssra’s chest, “did you just call me?”
   “I worry you might grow tired of cherry pie. And you are basically a marshmallow.” Thalyssra meets Sylvanas’s mock outrage with a soft, indulgent smile. “Perfect for cuddling.” And she kisses the faux scowl off her new wife’s mouth.
   My new wife.
   “We’re not cuddling,” Sylvanas mutters against her mouth the moment they break the kiss. “This is an embrace. It is not a cuddle.”
   “Whatever you say. My marshmallow.”
   “O Belore.” Sylvanas sighs, long and melodramatic, and Thalyssra swallows back the laughter building in her chest. “Would that I had brought the divorce papers with me today.”
   Chuckling, Thalyssra tips Sylvanas’s head up, and kisses her again.
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