#sorry I just find this stuff to be really cool
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Hey, I've noticed you've been pretty quiet lately and I hope you're doing okay. I know we're not friends or even mutuals so I'm sorry if I'm overstepping by messaging! I hope the world will treat you kindly and that you can find comfort and support if you need it 💕
hi sweetheart wow this is so genuinely nice and kind of you, thank you so much for caring to the point of reaching out
i'm on the way there! i will be okay, hopefully soon. it's not serious, i just had a medium sized break down after receiving a very negative comment on something i made, in mix with a bit of unrelated loneliness and yearning on top of that, plus many many 4am drowsy what-am-i-doing-with-my-life regretful thoughts that i have had in the last months swimming up. like for my unwellness history it's really only about 6 points on the scale where the maximum is 10, so not big. i turned all social apps off but couldn't shake off the distress caused by that one stranger on the internet being unkind to my project, despite knowing they were misunderstanding and were also not in a state to understand at all, so i was kind of confused about what's up with my brain and why it can't move on
and it was a good choice! because after being only with myself without any internet distractions for the first time in years, figured out in just a day that mood swings have been back for a while, over one month at least (so anger issues weren't totally Yunho's fault actually bless him), some other parts of mental health worsened too
got a grip on myself, went to my doctor, got back on meds, now i'm sleepy every minute of waking hours while my body is getting used to them again, but it's gonna be fine. received advice on how to write a mood log, turns out very helpful as additional treatment to keep hypomania and anxiety under control. i even started working out, doing memory exercises and preparing my exam notes tentatively, which is so hard and scary, oh my god, but i must. job search is even scarier but i'm working myself up to finding a good one with little, very very very very tiny steps but they are moving
in the first day of self made quarantine i rewatched the queer korean show Love for Love's Sake that cured me from depression for a while and from any possibility of suicidality for a lifetime last year. it didn't work the trick again, because i'm really not living in the best or even just calm psychological environment to let it do its magical healing thing the way it should, but it did give me new clarity and make me intensely cry some shit out, so that was also very nice
accidentally found the best fic ever and it brought me so much very needed comfort in the past week. it's sweet, funny and stress free. like a warm blanket. or a cup of vanilla cocoa that makes your cold toes tingle in winter. or a hug from the love of your life. first atz and woosan fic to enter my hall of all time longfic favourites. very rare honor but it deserves it completely
also found a bunch of bloggers who post videos of the ocean in Thailand, some even stream the beach 24/7. it's so cool, i watch it in the evenings for short periods of time. helps making it bearable to just survive here a little bit longer until i am able leave
i sort of of really like that when i don't spend 12 hours a day on the phone doing mind-numbing scrolling or posting, there is so much free time to do cool stuff? i have kinda felt like i can be back on here for a couple of days, but i still freak out a bit for two reasons. first, that bad comment is still hanging there and it still makes me too upset to open notifications or my own blog page, which is ridiculous but that's how my dumbass unwell-brain-made feelings are. so i will see how that goes away and i get over it like an adult. second, i'm scared to be sucked back in the addiction to the colourful little hellsite app so i usually end up throwing the phone away in panic after 5 minutes of the app being open. maybe i will work up to it more gradually, don't know, let's see how that goes too
thank you again my little treasure, i will happily take that kindness and comfort you offered here as you are a part of the world. and you can message without worrying anytime, no mutualship or officially labelled friendship necessary. i'm very cool with small amount of interactions, just not big on chatting online one on one for long and don't enjoy it super much. and also with how often i see you around we are considered friends for sure. so thank you again for being so sweet i really am so grateful to you for this, one hundred friend hugs in return
#asks#now i will log off for a day again because it took me much longer than necessary to type and im freaking out again#sorry must calm the spooky gazelle that my brain is you know how it is byebye
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"This poor tgirl has the opinions she does because she's so wrapped up in self-loathing and brainwashed by transandrobros."
This is literally exactly how you people talk about transfeminist trans men. Christ you're just the biggest hypocrite alive aren't you?
lol you're wrong because I have so much less empathy for non-transfem TRFs
Like eighty percent of the transmascs have told me they believe trans men have power over trans women because they "used to be" horrific transmisogyinists who ostracized and bullied helpless trans women. They believe this shit because being empowered by the patriarchy is gender validating.
When I saw a transmasc politely explaining how good and praxis it was for him to respectfully gave up a headcanon he was really attatched to because some trans women had Superior Literary Analysise that proved the character was actually transfem, I skipped straight past pity into thinking he were a worthless sniviling creep. Like genuinely one of the most disgusting people I could imagine existing. I could feel my stomach churning with rage and I had to take like an hour off the internet just to cool down.
Like, genuinely, I want people like that to know and fully take into their hearts that they're repulsive to me and any other transfem that isn't obsessed with having doors opened and jackets thrown over mud puddles for them.
Have I made that clear? I don't feel sorry for those transmascs. I feel sorry for the ones who passively absorb this stuff and I have in fact been told by several anons that my blog helped break them out of hating themselves for not being women, but anyone actively involved in the discourse? They're just as bad as transfem TRFs.
I might even dislike them more, becasue I find their patriarcal power LARP and desperation to throw themselves and their brothers under the bus so a radfem will praise them for being big strong allies taking care of helpless women more obnoxious than the much simpler motivation of selfish egocentricism.
Staring at my screen trying to think if there's any way I could further express how much revulsion transmasc TRFs instil in me. It might go beyond what the English language is capable of expressing.
And by the way, anon, transfeminism isn't just for radfems! Check out Antigonism.
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Turn OC Week 2025– Day 1: Not-So Short Bio
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Character: Aileen Darcie O’Connor (Feat. One of the shittiest collages I’ve ever made so let’s ignore that! 🤪)
Ahh first and foremost, sorry this post is so late in the day! It’s been a busy one lol. Anyways, when this week was announced I was honestly rather nervous, because Turn fandom events have been SO fun for me every time I’ve done them so far, and I knew I’d love to contribute, but, despite all of the writing I do in this era and the amount of 18th century characters I have, I had never actually made a Turn OC! But, it reminded me that I’ve recently been thinking, as unfamiliar with this sort of shipping as I am, that I could DABBLE in some Ben Tallmadge/OC stuff, and to make a long story short, I decided I’d use this as an excuse to actually develop the OC I’ve had a vague idea of for too long now, so I introduce you all to Aileen O’Connor!
And because I physically cannot be concise apparently, more under the cut!
SO. For the longest time, my vision for Aileen did not go beyond “loud mouthed Irish woman”, but as decidedly accurate as that description is, having an excuse to flesh her out has given me something of an actual sorry I could pursue one day about her, falling pretty in line with that one Turnsgiving post about “what I’d do in Turn” (even though she’s not supposed to be a COMPLETE self-insert, but still)! 😂 Hence why I will try to condense this character to bullet points:
- Aileen O’Connor, like many Irish Americans of the time, never favored the British government. So, her eventual stance as a patriot is no surprise.
- She grew up in Long Island, where her family ended up establishing themselves in Montauk. Her aunt, Rylee O’Connor, ended up marrying a Woodhull related to the rest of the Woodhull family we all know and love(? Maybe not Richard though lmfao), and this is where her connection to the story comes in.
- When she suggests Aileen go on a family trip to Setauket to meet this new, extended family of Rylee’s, Aileen accompanies her because the two have a pretty nice relationship, and who doesn’t love hanging with their Cool Aunt, after all?
- Upon meeting Abraham Woodhull, she figures out (by chance or perhaps by investigation, I haven’t gotten into the intricacies of this part of her arc yet ahahah) his position as a rebel, sees her in to help the cause, and she fucking takes it.
- When she proclaims “Hi hello yes I’d like to offer my services as a spy, please!!” the majority of the ring is just like??? “No???” But Anna of course, who barely knows her, can appreciate a woman wanting to help the cause (despite how few options they would’ve had at the time), and is likely the force that pushed for Aileen to get an opportunity to help, however briefly.
- And what starts as her just being aware of the ring and wanting to shove her nose in everyone’s business (you all Aileen has NO regard for propriety 😭🤡) eventually escalates to her heading off to York City (not side by side with Abe per se but he was probably her way in), and eventually, finds herself— incidentally— at a business called Rivington’s.
- Honestly feel like she and Robert Townsend are like “platonic soulmates” lol, they have a surprising amount in common, and definitely some gay/bi solidarity there.
- To be completely honest with you, I don’t think she’d really change the plot that much, other than being a partner for Ben lmao. 🤡
- Anyhow, personality-wise, she most definitely is a bold, outspoken woman who isn’t skilled at keeping her opinions to herself. As fun as the classic “girlboss” personality trope is, though, unfortunately Aileen’s inability to stop talking is kind of a genuine character flaw of hers but we’ll save that for another day. ;)
Anyways this was definitely NOT short, so my deepest thanks if you actually read this UNIMAGINABLY cliche, cornball yapping! I’m trying to get better at being comfortable being “cringe”, because let’s be totally honest, I think we all have more fun when we spend less time worrying about how we’re perceived, right? ;D
Can’t wait to work out some details of Aileen’s character even further, and share with you other parts of her story that I DO already have a grasp of later on this week! 👀 Thank you SO much for reading once again! 💕
#Turn OC week 2025#turn OC week#Holy fucking SHIT I need to learn how to be concise#but hopefully this is sort of fun to picture or at least made you laugh at how hilariously vague parts of it are lmao#turn amc#turn washington's spies#amc turn#turn washington’s spies#turn: washington's spies#turn: washingtons spies#turn washingtons spies#my stuff
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Yay! Someone else falling into this rabbit hole! Just started on my own journey lol. Genuinely, I think if we could get answers on the clones, on the stuff like this where they just leave nuggets like this and dip, we'd end up with 10+ years of Star Wars content.
Most of this is gonna be personal musings on what I've tried to connect so far.
Firstly, definitely agree with anomalous-fox on the "why" being to make them more nationalistic and loyal by isolating them, similar to a degree to what Palps was doing with Anakin, as well as just looking at historical groups who indoctrinated Youths for their regimes. (I think the trainers would've seen it as more confirmation on the corruption of the Republic/Jedi. And who amongst the clones is going to question the Jedi knowing about their army if elite troopers are being trained on their doorstep?)
Personally, I'd wager Palps even curated the 501st specifically for Anakin to lead. Stick him in the middle of some of the most brainwashed troopers - sorry, sorry the most loyal and elitely trained - and slowly erode his boundaries on the slave army he's helping lead along with all the other horrors (because his boys are different. Slaves aren't made guards, unless you're waiting for them to shoot you in the back. And Anakin trusts his boys not to shoot him so are they really slaves? maybe palpatine is right).
As for where, no dice. I saw something about one of Coruscant's moons on one of the wikis (can't find it again tho in any of the CG entries or entries about the moons) and in the notes here; I haven't seen concrete references yet to back that. Nothing to disprove it either though. The two resources I found (Insider magazine, which I don't have, and the complete visual dictionary, which I do) don't list a specific place, or say much other than that they were "brought in secret to Coruscant." Which is so vague. I'm assuming either an older Republic facility was quietly repurposed/given new life (could be a cool idea if any Old Republic barracks were still around), or some of that Lower Levels or Outter Rim aid money conveniently was redirected into Coruscant's underworld for an unspecified "aid" project around the start of Palpatine's Chancellorship, building a facility that's deep enough it's not safe to question its presence if there are even enough people to see it. Palps could have even used the accounts left by Plagueis to fund an inconspicuous construction, if direct Senate funding seems too risky.
And Kaminoans don't appear to need too much adjustment environmentally, if at all. Maybe some humidifier rooms? I'm not sure what would convince them to leave Kamino. If not money, maybe research specimens/etc to quirk their scientific interests enough to put up with it. And the facility being in the polluted lower levels gives an extra excuse for no one to be outside to be seen.
Getting them all there seems like a basic smuggling question. If Dooku can sneak onto Coruscant in the middle of a war, when security should be on steroids, I feel like pre-war would be no different than average Coruscanti smuggling difficulty. Palpatine would have been Cancellor by the time any troopers would be getting transfered to Coruscant. (Maybe even visited to oversee progress. We know his cloak is as powerful as Clark Kent's glasses lol.) Combine that with whatever corrupt officials, black market/underground networks Palps already had, however much extra Chancellor-y powers he's weasled for himself by the time any clones are moved (if they're trained initially on Kamino and only moved for desired skills being displayed, since he was gathering more power even before the emergency powers/military creation act), and Coruscant's already healthy slave/trafficker network, there's probably a million ways for a few hundred shuttles with official codes/paid off air traffic security to steadily be bringing cadets into Coruscanti space without notice.
Overall, I think kaminoans wouldn't emphasize it because why would the location of their perfect soldiers and perfect training plans matter? It's all perfect. And the Jedi, who knows what they know or would be able to find in the training facility? If they even know it exists. It would have gone from 0 clones to 100,000 and counting within the span of a week. Would they really notice a few thousand that didn't show up with the rest, with all the death and chaos of one mission? Especially when the Guard don't seem to interact much with Jedi in their duties and the 501st could have been presented as just an elite group being incorporated into Kenobi's troops under Anakin, then they're assigned permanently once he's Knighted. Maybe eventually they take notice, while the Council has Shadows searching for leads on how the clone army was commissioned. Even if they did notice early on, I don't think they'd be able to question it initially.
Idk I think this is a really cool opportunity to fill in the blanks in a way that makes sense to you. And then share with the rest of us so we can all brainstorm. XD Hope this helped or at least gave you a few ideas!
Really hope they give us more clone-centric content tho. They're so cool, yet we know so little about them.
I have a genuine question about the 501st and the Coruscant guard. In Legends, The 501st and Corries were raised on Coruscant. Is there a specific facility they were kept? Did the Kaminonans just buy a building and put them there? Did Tyranus set up the amenities for the Kaminonans? Why is this mentioned off handedly? Why is Coruscant instead of Kamino? Why?
#theory that Rex and 332nd were only given Order 66 because they were Kamino trained#and Rex was originally 212th under Cody#the fact that anakin wasn't constantly screaming about the clones is so alarming#rex was absolutely the one who helped padme on geonosis tho#5000 levels is a lot of space to hide several thousand child soldiers#plagueis and palpatine had their own sith-y labs/ritual chambers on coruscant right?#and the jedi were looking for some sith strucktures in the Works somewhere i remember that#imagine searching for decades or centuries for ONE building and nit finding it#coruscant is massive#i both want to see it and dread stepping foot there and looking down into endless darkness. so high up and yet no light#i have an au with all of this mostly mapped out#new disney cannon has the guard still being trained on Coruscant. idk about 501st#kind of a case of if you want to incorporate it into your understanding of cannon lore more than any solid proof it's still a thing
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So awhile ago I talked about how Sonic’s quills spike when surprised etc., but now I want to talk about the spines themselves. Hedgehog spines are actually super cool. They can be quite flexible due to how humid they are. Less humid quills are more brittle but still strong while more humid quills can have some give and bend. Quills can also freely bend and move in many directions thanks to the tipped bulbs in the hedgehog’s skin.
I took a video of Thistle to show how movable quills really are on a hedgehog.
So pictures of Sonic’s quills like this
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And even Shadow’s one idle animation is pretty accurate to real hedgehog spines.
Spines are also built to stay in a hedgehogs body unlike porcupines which can detach. A hedgehog spine is so strong you can pick up a hedgehog by single spine and it won’t detach. A single spine can also withstand and bend against up to 200 times the force that would crush it. One scientist noted that he’d never seen a hedgehog with a broken or dulled quill. (Hedgehog quills can be cut from lawn mowers or hedge trimmers so always be careful and aware if you live near wild hedgehogs.)
While spines are used against predators they are also used for shock absorption. When a hedgehog is completely curled up their spines will absorb incredible amounts for force from falls from trees or high areas.
One study showed, “quills protected from a fall at 15m/s. Despite the velocity at impact, the animal survives unscathed due to the shock absorbing capabilities of its spines, which buckle under the load.” Because of this people have been studying hedgehog spines to better make helmets to protect people from concussions and head injuries.
Sonic’s drop dash could protect Sonic from large falls. (Too bad he mostly lands on his face lol)
One scientific paper I recently read did a study on the durability of hedgehog quills against repeated high velocity impact blows. It concluded that while low humidity quills were better at absorbing shock, repeated impact blows weakened the durability and broke the brittle quills. While more humid quills absorbed less shock but remained more durable and survived the repeated impacts with less damage. They said more tests would have to be done because most people only studied the strength of one quill and not all the quills working together like theirs did. But that their test may not be entirely accurate since they could not fully replicate the hedgehog’s skin/muscles working with the spines against the blows. As the bulb tip on a hedgehog's quills protect their skin from the quills being stabbed back into them after falls or hits.
But the results concluded that, “in certain conditions, Hedgehog spines can absorb as much, if not more, than industry standard impact-absorbing foam.”
Just makes me wonder how strong Sonic’s quills are as he uses his to break robots at high speeds. But him using his quills to protect himself while also using them to attack is pretty smart.
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#hedgehog facts#long post#sonic the hedgehog#sorry I just find this stuff to be really cool#hedgehogs are fascinating creatures
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@/coma_0423’s cursed cat alastor will bring you happiness ♥️
Lulu scolds the cat
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#I could’ve sworn I posted this doodle#I took a break from drawing stuff to doodle this lol#I’m learning clip studio paint! it’s very exciting but challenging so things are moving slow#rn I’m working on the anthology comic#but then back to my bullshit#but school starts next week#hnggg#im sure I’ll find time to slack off tho and draw#also unrelated to that but related to this post#is it weird that it’s so important to me that everyone knows cursedcatalastor’s author#he really became a sensation#which is cool as hell#but idk I just like the thought that people know who designed this lil guy#ESPECIALLY WHEN PPL TRY TO MONETIZE UGH THAT MAKES ME SO UPSET#anyway lemme go make brekky sorry for rambling#tho if you’re reading this#why do u read all my tags im literally an insane person#okay gtg bye ily#hazbin hotel#my doods#hazbin hotel fanart#alastor#cursed cat alastor#liked by creator#forgot that one#lol it’s what reminded me to post this here in the first place
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fairly certain i never posted these here hi everyone look at my favorite things ever
#my art#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#funtime freddy#bonbon fnaf#digital art#bluesky really liked this and then i never posted there again LMFAO#i keep forgetting literally tumblr is the only social media i post on consistently#it’s just more fun here idk :/#it’s easier to find one random person who wants to scream at me (positively)#and that’s special to me LOL#feel free to draw these designs WITH. CREDIT. PLEASE#and also like don't use them for your own AUs n stuff sorry LOL#if you wanna just draw them that's cool but these are my designs for them and i wanna keep them mine </3
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They make love out there in the field, before David has to leave for good. It’s fast and messy, with both of their emotions running so high. Yonatan comes with the taste of David’s tears on his tongue.
He stays lying on his back in the grass until the sound of crunching footsteps finally fades away, and only realizes later that, in their utter desperation for each other, he’d forgotten to take any of the usual precautions. But by then, it’s far too late.
***
Four months later, he goes to see David at Horesh. Even in the dim light of the hideout, David looks at him oddly.
“Something’s different about you,” he muses, and Yonatan has to stop himself from reflexively clutching his belly. He’s not showing yet, not really, but he can feel the life growing inside him.
He expects David to approach him then, to explore the planes of his body as he’s done countless times before. He readies himself to tell David the truth, to finally feel the weight of this secret lift off his shoulders. But David comes no closer. He eyes him for another moment and then turns away, pulling out a large map of the Judean territories as he updates Yonatan on his group’s movements over the last few months.
It’s better this way, Yonatan decides. David has enough to worry about at the moment without concerning himself with Yonatan’s health, and there’s no guarantee that the baby will make it to term anyways: it’s not as if Yonatan is willing – or able – to confine himself to bedrest for nine months. When David returns to Giveah, Yonatan can reevaluate the situation. Most likely Yonatan will never need to reveal his mistake; best case scenario, David will have an heir to secure his lineage as he ascends to the throne.
***
Years later, as Yonatan lies bleeding out under the stars, his last thought is to wish he’d gotten the chance to tell David about their son.
#david x jonathan#jonathan x david#david/jonathan#bible fanfiction#king david#david and jonathan#bible fandom#cw mpreg#I don’t know!!! I don’t know#I told yall it was gonna be angsty#ok so I have a second chapter that’s also really angsty but with like… a bit of a happy ending ig? if you know the canon you can probs guess#but I wrote this bit and just wanted to post it cuz I think it stands on its own merits tbh lol haha tehehe#also I wrote this at work today cuz I’m cool like that#(can I tell yall a secret… if I hadn’t been writing at work I probably would’ve left it as ‘fuck’ instead of ‘make love’ in the first line#(not because anyone can actually see what I’m doing but I’m just too embarrassed to write really dirty stuff on my work computer 😭😭)#also JUST FOR THE RECORD. IN CASE ANYONE GETS THE WRONG IDEA. THIS IS TRANS!YONATAN NOT OMEGAVERSE#sorry that I keep talking about pregnancy in a totally non sexy way. hot take but I just don’t find pregnancy stuff sexy literally at all 😫😫
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I seriously forget I have a tumblr when I’m really active on twitter most of the time! Sorry guys ..!
I did do a bunch of Trolls art over there so if you wanna see that you can go to my twitter @ nouna_arts . Note tho, I rambled bout Trolls. A LOT
But I will show some of my recents here! (I did a lot more)
JUST A BUNCH OF MY ART ⬇️⬇️
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BUT THE BRAINROT HAS UNFORTUNATELY ROTTED AND NOW MY MIND IS ALL SONIC AGAIN. curse you sonic prime,…
Anyways here’s my sonic doodles :3
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I couldn’t put anymore images. Damn .but you get it😭
#I’ve been neglecting you tumblr folks. I’m sorry…#tumblr is such a cool platform too I’m just really bad at multitasking#like how do y’all manage to remember to post the same stuff on 2 or more different social media accounts#I ALWAYS forget#I’m just an idiot#I will be drawing more sonic tho rn cuz that#that’s all I’m thinking bout rn#for the past few days I’ve been lurking the internet to find really good sonic fan comics#I’m FEEDING off those rn#they’re all so good#I have also been thinking of perhaps taking commissions cuz I’m jobless rn and it’s so hard to get a new one so I need the money#I’ll have to make a com sheet first tho..#trolls#trolls band together#sonic the hedgehog#sonic prime#doodle#sketch#art#nounaarts
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the training montage in crossroads re-ignited a headcanon i had of geralt waking up and doing gymnastics, performing kickflips and mid-air spins around on a fencepost outside an hour before sunrise to ‘limber up,’ and bleary-eyed dandelion wrapping himself up in a blanket to be like "heyyy... what the hell are you doing 💖"
#if you're wondering what kind of moves he's doing he's standing on a fencepost and doing your typical flexibility stretches#but alternating between reps of stretches with kickflips from one post to the other#like ciri training in kaer morhen#i'm not going to lie witchers are cool but fandom ruined them a bit for me and now crossroads has given me that childlike wonder back#because fandom heard 'physical ability and stamina' and did you know what with it#but the agility and precision of witchers remain so underrated. as part of the deconstruction of the superhuman trope#geralt doesnt really show off as much in the books and does cool stuff only when needed but#like when (mentioned) he hit the rat in the darkness with his thrown fork... as a party trick#and killing renfri's men in the market at blaviken... and killing the scoia'tael on thanedd#and RUNNING ALONG THE BRIDGE on the battle of the bridge#and the nilfgaardians were amazed and they WERE AMAZED AS THEY DIED!!!!!!!!#and killing rience's mercenaries who didn't know who they were fighting so they were like hey what the fuck... what the fuck#i'm literally back to witcher 101 basics here. nothing interesting to contribute but like a little boy i am just smiling and saying#'dude geralt of rivia is soooo cool he can like fight a bunch of guys with his sword'#half of me wants to seek deeper themes and half of me is just like YOOO GERALT SO COOL !!#listen... there is a time to plant a time to reap#a time to analyze and a time to geek#i should probably just watch a bunch of ballet or best of gymnastics comps and i'll find what i'm looking for#also sorry CROSSROADS OF RAVENS SPOILERS artamon dying was a hilarious moment i know it was like oooh this will have consequences#but it was nice to have the evil antagonist get merked in the sme chapter as he's fucking introduced#and not even by mature experienced geralt but by some literal eighteen year-old who he tried pulling a fast one on#1) i was happy that sapkowski didn't drag it out terribly. this was humorous and refreshing after in season of storms#2) geralt almost riding off but having a feeling to go back... listen i know it's so cliche and it's giving lady of the lake chapter 4#where he eavesdrops in the caves under castle zubarran and just happens to hear stefan skellen reveal that vilgefortz was in castle stygga#but it also was satisfying to me because after reading the hussite trilogy#where reynevan (stupid and young man; like geralt here) DOES NOT LEARN after several. SEVERAL lessons#i was honestly worried for a second that we were going to get a reynevan moment. but no. because this is geralt and not reynevan#and seeing geralt develop critical thinking skills in real time was not only satisfying but a bit funny#and yes nostalgiabaiting me#like omggggg yesss his detective skills yesss that's so geralt of him
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I keep accidently rizzing up dads at work when they're just trying to buy pokemon cards for their kids 😔
#as if its my fault i have impeccable taste in video games#its so sad though every time they say something like 'my friends / wife / family dont like when i talk about my nerd stuff.#sorry if im bothering you with it' sir i could listen to you talk about technology that came out a decade before i was born any day#a lot of them are pretty cool once i find common ground with them. usually said common ground is just be knowing what a commodore 64 is#or having played skyrim. sometimes i gotta drop the neverwinter nights 2 knowledge on them or else explain in great detail my commander deck#i really do need to settle down but i like to think its the highlight of most of their weeks#also shout out to the moms who call me sweetheart or angel and give me those great big genuine mom smiles when i help them out#also im not trying to break things down into a weird binary but a lot of times unfortunately in my line of work thats how the status quo#is already set up :/
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Fuuta x Kotoko?
Waah I hope the fact that this ran a little long makes up for the lateness -- I really love the idea and was so excited to get the request!! They'd be so interesting and affect each other so much...... it makes me crazy...... It becomes canon divergent at the end because I genuinely think being in each others' company more would influence them both
Kotoko was nothing if not observant. Over the years, she’d found herself in – and gotten herself out of – enough situations to get a good read on the people she interacted with. No matter what this world threw her way, she could always rely on those abilities. And from the moment she met Milgram’s third prisoner, those abilities told her he was nothing but trouble.
“Oi,” he’d called across the dining table during the first meal they all had shared. “What did you do to get here?”
From the moment she woke up in this strange place, Kotoko had kept to herself. It’s dangerous to charge forward and introduce oneself to a group of mysterious murderers when there are no locks on the doors. She hadn’t spoken a word to anyone, the others smart enough to heed her intense look and stay away.
Fuuta, on the other hand, was the first to speak directly to her. He stared impatiently.
“Well?”
She noted his directness. His volume. The brashness and vulgarity she’d heard earlier in the day. His motivations and values he’d let slip in his early defenses. His anger and his fear. The suspicion in his gaze, as well as the need for reassurance in his voice. In that moment, the information clicked together in her mind, and Kotoko realized two things:
Kajiyama Fuuta was a lot like her, in the obvious ways.
Kajiyama Fuuta was nothing like her, in the ways that really mattered.
“The same reason as everyone else, I suppose,” she said carefully. He may have revealed his whole hand, but from experience she knew better than to do the same.
A lot of her experiences returned to her as the trial went on. She went through the motions of coaxing secrets out of quiet men, or playing along with cheery girls’ games to uncover what she was looking for. She remembered how it felt on stakeouts as she kept her eye on the warden’s door, and recalled the thrill of negotiation when she had a moment alone with them. And unfortunately, she recognized the immediate sensation of being tailed. She was used to shaking an unwanted follower out on the streets, but it was difficult to do the same when the only places to go consisted of three rooms and a corridor.
No matter how inconspicuous Fuuta thought he was being, Kotoko got a glimpse of that bright hair retreating around corners just behind her. She could feel his eyes boring into her back, always conveniently whipping away by the time she turned to look. The only thing that seemed to affect his permanently blaring volume was when she was speaking nearby – unlike a real stalker who would tactfully pretend not to be listening in, Fuuta would use the opportunity to jump into all her conversations.
Kotoko was in the middle of her morning stretches when she became aware of his presence lurking around the doorway. After several weeks of the behavior, she’d had quite enough. Kotoko knew that if you can’t shake a tail, there’s only one other option.
She stepped out of her cell, swiftly reaching for Fuuta’s collar. With a handful of his uniform, she shoved him back against the cell bars. For someone that had creeped on all her daily exercise routines, he seemed awfully shocked at how strong she was.
“Stop following me.” She kept her voice low and even. “I don’t know what you want from me, nor do I care. I will –”
“I don’t want anything from you!”
He raised his voice in an attempt to sound tough, but only succeeded in coming off desperate. He tried to weasel out of her grasp to no avail. She’d had practice intimidating guys three times her height – it was almost too easy now that she had an inch or so on Fuuta.
“Don’t give me that oblivious crap. Every day. Every single day, you –”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! You’re the one who acting fucking crazy!”
Even after knowing it was in vain, he kept squirming under her harsh look. His eyes flicked frantically around the room, only able to take in her stone cold expression for a brief moment at a time. He kept shouting his own defenses, his cheeks growing more red by the second.
This time, the information gathered took a bit longer to fall into place. One of her conclusions was something Kotoko was very used to. The other was something she’d never quite experienced before. For the first time in long career of poker faces, she visibly started upon realizing two things:
Kajiyama Fuuta was downright terrified of her.
Kajiyama Fuuta was hopelessly attracted to her.
She hurriedly released him, jerking herself away. “Just… stay out of my way.”
“I was never in your way!” He shouted after her, his voice still shaking.
She should have stuck to her own demand and kept her distance; she was already aware of how much trouble this prisoner was capable of. But she took pride in her abilities to gather information of interest. And god, was Fuuta interesting.
Between his constantly running mouth and his never running filter, he was always keeping her on her toes. She’d never met anyone who pressed her for answers like that – Fuuta was never satisfied with the explanations that could placate everyone else. He was always questioning, always pushing back. Though his talk could be as shallow as the older prisoners' melancholy musings, or the children’s gossipy chatter, it was different when he and Kotoko really went at it in a debate.
Fuuta talked shamelessly about society, about the other prisoners, and about her. The others kept their distance from someone as quietly calculating as her, but Fuuta would pour out his thoughts right to her face. He had her back when she was trying to prove a point to the others, but was too stubborn to compromise on any of own opinions when they conflicted. It was refreshing.
And that was all it was, she would remind herself. The man would be insufferable if he was ever under the impression that she so much as tolerated his company. For everyone’s sake, he should remain completely unaware.
Awareness, however, was the very thing Kotoko prided herself in. She picked up on exactly what the warden was trying to communicate by granting her innocence. She was aware of the opportunities that arose with their disappearance. She noted the best time to fulfill her duties to them. She knew the optimal order to attack each prisoner in, to guarantee success.
It was due to her beloved observation skills that she found herself in cell 003 in the middle of the night. It didn’t matter how many training sessions Fuuta had spectated, or how many she’d invited him to join – he wasn’t as perceptive as she. He couldn’t predict or counter a single one of her movements. It only took a few moments for her to have him pinned on the ground.
“Y-you were serious?” Fuuta managed, even as her weight made it difficult for him to breathe.
She’d confided in him about her deal with the warden, one late night long before verdicts were announced. She didn’t know what had driven her to do it. It had been a rare lapse in her judgment. The current situation only confirmed why she should never reveal more information than necessary. Why she should get closer to someone than necessary.
“I am always serious.”
“Kotoko…”
She knew all of Fuuta’s typical arguments and excuses, and she had a rebuttal for each. She wound her arm back, her brass knuckles reflecting in the dim panopticon light.
“...J-just… do it fast.”
Kotoko’s arm wavered.
“What?”
“I’m not a fucking idiot. Even before that brat called you innocent, I knew that y-you were the one in the right. I used to think that you and I were the same, but I know that was all a lie. You were always the real hero. M-more than anyone else in this shithole. So…” Fuuta closed his eyes, squeezing tears from them. “Make it quicker than you did for that asshole, will ya?”
Kotoko gripped her fight tighter. It was trembling.
Fuuta’s eyes remained shut in fear. In trust. His breathing was erratic as he pretended not to be crying or struggling from the pressure on his lungs. He grit his teeth, preparing himself for what was to come. Kotoko prepared herself as well.
Releasing a cry, she swung forward. The moment before her brass knuckles clashed with the floor, just to the left of Fuuta’s face, Kotoko realized one thing:
Kajiyama Fuuta was indeed nothing but trouble.
#milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#fuuta kajiyama#0310#this was already more than i planned but i would have loved to include a symbolism comparison somehow --#the wildness and destruction of fire to a wild and violent animal#but with patience and care humans have domesticated both into beautiful helpful things#im defintiely down for a toxic they-beat-each-other-up ship but i really think it wouldnt happen#i think being around kotoko would make fuuta second guess himself and slow down (just a tiiiiny bit - not a lot lol)#but enough where hed face her punishment with dignity#and being around him would make kotoko confront her own stubborn views think about how good intentions can go awry#i was torn for characterizing kotoko... i always picture her secretive and stuff but then i remember shes very upfront in canon#so i tried to find a mix of honesty with caution#which works well with fuutas honesty and recklessness lol#also IM SORRY this is from kotokos pov and you got straight up paragraphs of 'oughghh this is why fuuta is so cool!!'#but i feel like its easy to see why hed be starstruck and inspired by her#but tougher to understand why shed fall for him back 😅#anyway thank you again for the request!! i love them and think theyre so interesting!#this was super fun#drabbles
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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I still have that thought of not-dead fractured Cornelia meeting Julius and Prime Ludger squinting at how friendly she is towards him and how disturbed and entranced Julius is and Alvin is like, why does she look kind of familiar… And Ludger is off in the corner sulking because Julius is paying attention to someone else and hes normal about It.
#the reveal that cornelia is julius’ mother makes it worse actually#ludger: we’re not brothers then…#even in a genfic i want ludger to be obsessed okay. and weird.#v#x2#amb#also id be lying if i didnt find the idea of people accidentally seeing julius/cornelia to be really funny#only surpassed by cornelia/ludger where ludger is like. huh i am kind of attracted to this cool older person who knows everything and#treats me fondly. and cornelia is like. i see why julius turned out that way…#sorry im making stuff up again. i just think its funny.
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it's kind of weird to me that they didn't bother releasing sushi and tempura internationally at all but at the same time i'm kinda glad they didn't cuz like. yo-kai watch was financially failing in the west by the time 3 released. i feel like if they had released sushi and tempura the franchise would've completely tanked before we got sukiyaki which would've sucked. honestly if anything i feel like it's more surprising that we got all three versions of 2 instead of them just releasing psychic specters but tbf i think yo-kai watch was doing well in the west when 2 released. 2 is just inexplicably what killed the franchise despite being a masterpiece-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#yw2#idk. i have a lot of thoughts on this stuff#still upset i didn't find out 3 released in america until a while after it did :/ could've gotten a physical copy if i'd found out earlier#but alas. i'm just stuck with a boring digital version. i mean the digital versions of yo-kai watch games are better but like. still#i never got maginyan in blasters even though i could've. the code or whatever was on the receipt but my mom bought it for me#from the nintendo website. and i don't think she checked it and i don't think i found out that was where it was until a bit after i got it-#i did get machonyan and jibanyan t/komasan t's codes entered though so i can get them on any playthrough now#unless i put the sd card in another 3ds since apparently it's system-based instead of sd card based??? which is really stupid#but you can probably bypass that with cfw and i do plan on modding my 3ds eventually#it'll just be a process cuz i don't have an sd card slot on my computer and idk if my moms would be willing to help#so i'll probably have to get a separate sd card reader or whatever. which i do think my moms would be okay with i mean#it's my system and they're cool with piracy lfskdjfjkfsdkljfd-#my moms are so cool <3 i just wish i could get them interested in yo-kai watch but they don't seem to care lfskdjfkjsfdjlksfd-#they determined the battle system doesn't sound fun but i might've just described it badly#i mean tbf. it is very annoying sometimes. especially when my healer just will not heal the other yo-kai#''DO YOUR FUCKING JOB TATTLECAST STOP LOAFING'' -me playing 2#that being said if 1's switch port ever releases in america i am totally playing it on the tv#i WILL force my moms to watch me play funni ghost game whether they like it or not /lh#if we do ever get 1's switch port i hope they make it a collection of some kind with 2 and 3 remasters too i would buy that in a heartbeat#i mean obviously i will buy any american-released yo-kai watch stuff in a heartbeat aside from maaaaaybe y-school heroes#(i'm sorry y-school heroes fans i just cannot get into it. from concept alone it sounds like i would not enjoy it)#maybe sangokushi too if we ever get that but i feel like we probably won't#idk if the franchise it's a crossover with is popular enough in america for that#i hope we get more english yo-kai watch content once ghost craft releases. kinda feel like it's testing the waters tbh#i know it's seemingly just a spiritual successor but still#i do hope that it being a spiritual successor doesn't mean yo-kai watch is over. i doubt that it will since like#punipuni still gets semi-frequent updates
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