#sooooo. i’m just saying. there’s a character who has been there from day 1 of courtney’s genesis

[whitmore]

i really do think they should commit to a cindy burman redemption arc btw

[iridescentttears]

idk about u guys but this feels like a riddle… sommonday, 8 days, guarded secret, december 1964, whistleblower, hyperbole.

okay so if summonday is the 8th day of the week, and the countdown began on release day july 23rd, and then 7 days later on july 30th the countdown ended and another countdown in negative time began. if “time is dead and meaning has no meaning” then everything could be malarkey and there’s not gonna be any way to predict what’s gonna happen. but also, maybe time got reset when it “died” and july 30th became day 1/ the first day of the week. we’re currently at day -5 and 19 hrs.

perhaps (based on nothing but the number 8 maybe-clue) on the -8th day of the countdown which falls on august 7th, they’re will be some form of a release/ another clue that hints closer to the answer.

that would make the time from release day to lost files release day 16 days (two weeks if we are counting summonday as the 8th day of the week)

all i’m saying is this feels very much like the brewings of a modern day cipher hunt like maybe it’ll be less about traveling to physical places like the original but instead some sort of wild goose chase treasure hunt online through hopping websites and soundtracks and books from 1925 and just like mixing the media formats. i think the mixed medias in tbob are so incredible and are really what set this book apart as its completely original entity and not just a sequel to journal 3. and with that shift feels very reflective of the era of time we live in now and in no way tries to recreate any previous era. ALSO all the metaphorical foils and parallels that alex hirsch has been begging us to see through the great gatsby are important. the literary connections between bill and gatsby’s characters AND the real life lesson of: we can’t repeat the past, we can’t get back things we lost, if we choose to live in the past it will lead to our demise but if we look to the future and accept what’s happened, we have a chance of building something amazing. (sooo no season 3 ppl like that’s not what any of this is about)

and and side note if the majority of the public believed the government release of the truth about “summonday” to be hyperbole, what about the minority that took it seriously? who are they? did they decide it together? are they in some sort of group/cult together?

the themes of cults, cult leaders, sociopaths, narcissists, and control come to my mind immediately regarding tbob, great gatsby, and now these weird cryptic messages from jason ritter…

sooooo long winded answer later,

i would love it if the countdown would end in 3 days @ -8 days and for it to lead to another link or to a code or to some sort of next step for us all to work together on tumblr and twitter and reddit and discord and all the platforms. thus ushering in the beginning of a new cipher hunt— but not like a cipher hunt 2. this is alex hirsch we’re talking about. i think the stakes will be different and i think it will be much less about physically finding things in the real world and more focused to online clues. and if it does end up being some sort of wild goose chase treasure hunt online i will be sooooo overjoyed.

cause i think that working together to solve mysteries as a collective is where this fandom shines. we make allies, we learn from each other, y’all are all so fucking funny and smart and passionate and genuine and i love hanging out in this community in the space between space and time.

i would love to go on that adventure with y’all cool internet sleuths!!

[ask-lighty-ii]

paintbrush said to put a picture of us here! but test tube hasn’t added a camera to my phone yet :( so i went for the NEXT BEST THING! OR POSSIBLY EVEN BETTER?

painty says i’m SO GOOD at art that i’ll have caught up to them in at LEAST a million years. or they said at most.WHATEVER

HIYA i’m lightbulb, former inanimate insanity contestant and CURRENT awesome gal living in the new hotel HOOT with my friends!! and acquaintances and non-friends!!!!! ask me anything LITERALLY ANHTHING I WANT TO HEAR FROM THE REAL WORLD FOR REALREALS!! ask box ALWAYS OPEN KEEP EM COMING CHEF!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BAD ANON LIST OF MEANIE PANTS ANONS!

- A1 (made EVERYBODH DISAPPEAR!!1)

- aNon (Made Lightbulb specifically disappear. Rude.) (omga painty was SOOOOO saaaaddd)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

vvv ooc, guidelines n stuffs vvv

hi! 🍥💫 here, owner and only person runnin this thang

as of 1/2/25, extreme anon magic is temporarily disabled! just for a little while, and you can still send little trinkets and treats and things :) just nothing that affects the characters!

there are generally no hard-and-fast rules for this blog and what you can send in asks! obviously i will delete any asks that are extremely inappropriate in any way, and i reserve the right to reject or ignore an ask for any reason. but personally, i do not have any triggers/squicks and i won’t flinch or judge you for what you send in.

(okay maybe ill judge you if you’re weird and stuff, but respectfully i prommy🫶)

i highlight text based on characters’ names or who is speaking. all of them are pretty self-explanatory/obvious; it’s just whatever’s closest to the “main” color of the character. (though, paintbrush is purple for some reason idk i like it.TUMBLR PLEASE ADD YELLOW BACK I HATE ORANGE LIGHTBUL

as for in-universe stuff………… (maybe spoilers for the “storyline” of this blog? iunno man)

- this takes place after ii18, where all the contestants, the ghosts, bot, and box currently stay at hotel HOOT. at the time of writing this, it has been announced that ii will continue in 2025, and when we see exactly how, i’ll judge how to incorporate it into this blog’s canon/whether or not to incorporate it at all. we’ll see!

- this blog is run from lightbulb’s phone, invented by test tube! i may start a sister blog to this one run from fan’s phone soon???? idk, will ask YOU GUYS !!!but later lol

- time passes much slower for them as it does for you in the real world!

- OTHER II RP/ASK BLOGS WELCOME TO INTERACT PLEEAAASE‼️‼️‼️

- ships!!! payjay and fantube are canon, silvercandle is tentatively canon (mostly one-sided on silver spoon’s part, im sorry ily silver), and of course, LIGHTBRUSH is… a slow burn. Suffer in real time with me as you wait for them to kiss! Loser nerd dweeb🫶

- if you’re curious about any other ships or just anything else at all, ASK AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw, posts will probably be infrequent! sometimes you’ll get a ton in a day, sometimes none for like three days straight! if that happens then . um. Sorry i’m stipid😁BYE NOW SEND IN AN ASK!!!!

-🍥💫

[deadstaticolivia]

Undead Unluck week 2024 day 2: Favorite scene/moment

Spoilers ahead for anime only’s

Oh boy this one was hard. Undead Unluck are filled with SO many amazing moments that it’s really hard to define “my favorite” I chose multiple moments when I was first reading the manga that really got me on the edge of my seat and super hyped (story wise and character wise) These are in no particular order so I’ll list this chronologically.

1. Andy fully stating his feelings to Fuuko

You know I had to start off with Anfuu. I’m so crazy about them and their development. They’ve truly made each other better in so many ways. We already knew the Andy had feeling for Fuuko since the “What if” situation in the book during the Autumn arc but this is the first time Andy had fully opened up about his feelings about her (despite her not knowing what he said). This is HUGE for Andy as a character because it’s been a long time since Andy cared for anyone this much since the crew in the 1800’s. At first Andy didn’t really care about fuuko on such a deep level yet. Yeah he wanted to use her to die at first but by spending enough time with her it literally changed his ENTIRE outlook on the world, life and death. Protecting her had just been apart of his job to help him die to seduce and protect her but now he WANTS to protect and even seduce her because he fell in love. GAHHH THEY MAKE ME CRAZYYYY

2. Fuuko coming to get Spring

Fuuko a kindheartedness has always stuck out to me. For her it was always a weakness since she was hurting the people she loved. Her ability to weaponize it is amazing. The bravery it takes to feel affectionate to the enemy, get attached, and then witness their death is beautiful and sad all in one. The affection she has for spring is real and it introduces a whole new concept of an Uma liking humans (aside from clothy) I know later on to imbue an enemy she hates like the 10 master rules and god she uses her soul but taking that first step into caring for an Uma when no other union member or past Negator (aside from past ishiin) did is a testament to her bravery and kindheartedness

3. Everyone saying Fuukos name as the timer counts down

This moment had me on the edge of my seat that it had me saying fuuko like everyone else. The love, connection and trust they all have for each other always gets me. They all put their full support into her ability. The trust that fuukos kind heart will help them in the next loop. The willingness to bet EVERYTHING on fuuko wrings my heart strings. Plus this scene of everyone still alive and moving using their abilities to save her is just so cool

4. Fuuko’s cold rage

Seeing Fuuko who is known for her kind heart, filled with such genuine hate and Greif was heart breaking but so badass. She lost EVERYTHING. All the hard work that she and everyone in the union put in was for nothing. All the deaths she witnessed were just some game. Then in a split secound she comes back full of determination. Fuuko knows she doesn’t have time to grieve so her immediate snap back to “I will plan everything out to give everyone a better and I’ll still defeat you.” As Luna states in this scene that she emulates Juiz so much also is amazing cause I’m a sucker for parallels

5. Andy is on the Sun

THIS REVEAL WAS CRAZY. I thought he was out gathering artifacts to help but clearly I was completely wrong. I already wrote me first initial thoughts on this so I’ll just copy and paste here:

Andy so desperately wants to protect fuuko down to his very SOUL that it basically becomes a primal instinct for him. Also the fact his place on the sun is always facing the earth to watch over her and everyone else

Theres sooooo many other scene I could talk about but I’m getting tired of writing

[celestie0]

hiiiiii ellieeeee! I stopped by to say thank you for kickoff! Def one of the best gojo fics I’ve read. I love the way you characterised all our boys, especially Gojo and Geto.

if you don’t mind me asking, do you have any personal headcanons/character background for kickoff geto?? He’s sooooo charming and I’d die for him 😭😭😭😭

AHHH thanks darling you’re so sweet <33 i’m so happy u enjoy kickoff :”) it is my pleasure to share my lil fic w you!!

omg yes i do have another ask in my inbox from an anon that also wanted kickoff geto headcanons and i’ve been saving it for when i can think of some 🤣 i’m planning on writing a spinoff series for him some day so i wanted to give it some serious thought aaa

i can share some notes i’ve thought of so far tho (very loose n subject to change):

1. kickoff geto n gojo have been friends since they’ve basically been in diapers, they know each others families very well n gojo’s mother dotes on him just as much as she dotes on gojo lol. he’s basically a second son to her haha

2. kickoff geto became interested in soccer when gojo’s dad took him n gojo to a pro soccer game once when they were kids (core memory bc they got to skip school to go lol). he wasn’t insanely infatuated w the sport like gojo was but he tagged along in practices n tryouts n stuff then realized he was pretty decent at it

3. lol this is kinda hyper specific to the spinoff series i had in mind, but i can imagine kickoff geto has a loooooot of younger siblings. like i’m talkin maybe he’s the eldest of like six or seven kids. it’s the reason why he’s kinda calm n collected n also pretty observant (i.e. when he told reader to be safe when he saw her going to meet kai) it’s also why he’s not all that alarmed by gojo’s idiocracy at times cuz he’s used to being around toddlers LOL ✋🏼😭 but yea all eldest siblings i know kind of have the personality i’ve given him w sorta the patience n softspoken but vigilant etc so this made sense to me. also he literally raises two kiddos in the show so i see it fitting HAHA

4. i have hc this before but he has almost exclusively dated only sorority girls, and he’s mostly only into sorority girls in general. idk he just finds he can relate to them more and their social circles, i can picture him being kinda exclusive w who he lets into his close group of friends as opposed to kickoff gojo who just wants to know everyone’s entire life history the second he meets them LMFAO but yea, i think my inspo for this hc came from the fact that canon geto only likes/respects sorcerers 💀 i don’t mean to say this as he shuns anyone that isn’t in greek life LOL i just think the ppl that he’d consider his close friends are those that he’s spent a lot of time getting to know at frat/sorority social events

5. he plays defense on the team!! and i think i did hc what his major is before but i forgot 😭…idk let’s just say he’s a psych major that makes sense to me 🤣

LOL damn i wrote a lot more than i thought i would sdfgkkhfd but hopefully this kinda gives more insight to his character!! i’ll def do some official headcanons for him some day :)

[moderndaylestat]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you my darling @riley-beautrelle for the tag 🩷

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 25

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? 509,392 but some fics are co-written so they’re not ALL my words

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently only IWTV but i used to write for Hannibal

4. Top 5 fics by kudos: my top 5 are all Hannibal fics but for IWTV the ones with most kudos are Let the flesh instruct the mind, Against all odds, Sum of our worst moments, Works like love, and New horizons

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always. If someone’s taking the time out of their day to let me know that they enjoyed my work, then the least I can do is to take the time to respond and say thank you. Comments are SO important to me, perhaps the most important metric even. Reader feedback motivates me to keep writing (so if you’ve ever commented on anything of mine, thank you so much 🥺🩵)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I pretty much only write happy endings so none of them are angsty. But if i had to pick the angstiest it would be Sum of our worst moments. It’s pretty hopeful but the circumstances Loustat are in are pretty grim sooooo

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them, but Works like love is very fluffy and happy, Loustat’s honeymoon era

8. Do you get hate on fics? Nope, thankfully. Occasionally people express their disagreement with my choices about which character tops and which bottoms but it’s hardly hate

9. Do you write smut? Of course. All my fics are Explicit rated 😏

10. Craziest crossover: I haven’t written any tbh

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that i know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, and it was the biggest honour 🥺

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, and i love it! I co-wrote a Hannibal fic series with my love @memequeen1127 and miiiiiight write something for IWTV with my other love @sightetsound. Stay tuned!!

14. All time favourite ship? Loustat at the moment but I also love Hannigram

15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? My most popular Hannigram fic. I love the AU setting and plot but i just can’t find the motivation to continue :(

16. What are your writing strengths? I think i can do a pretty good job at conveying deep emotions with my words. I like using clever figurative language and metaphors to add colour to my writing. And i’m good at foreshadowing 👀

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I think i sometimes over-explain things to readers in my writing because i want to make sure that things come across the desired way. Maybe that can be jarring and readers want to interpret things and arrive at conclusions on their own.

I don’t tend to describe the physical appearance of my characters (or things and places) unless it’s directly relevant to the story. A visually oriented reader may prefer more descriptions in order to be able to visualise things.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I always love seeing some French in IWTV fics. Im learning French currently so it’s a nice way to practice. But i think that sometimes too much foreign dialogue can distract from the story if the reader isn’t familiar with the language and has to go find translations.

19. First fandom you wrote in? First ever was Harry Potter but first on ao3 was Hannibal

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? This is a very hard question! Currently the college fic (Against all odds) is my baby, i think about it every day.

As for tags - all my fav authors have already been tagged so this is an open invitation for anyone and everyone who wants to answer these questions ☺️

[monsterhunting]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @atlantablack for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

51

2. What’s your total word count?

875,350 😵‍💫😵‍💫

3. What fandoms do you write for?

In the past I’ve written mainly for Check please and IT, now I mainly write Stranger Things and sometimes the MCU

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

of the things you said (that you can’t take back now) (sambucky)

just let me adore you (sambucky)

secrets i have held in my heart (stoncy)

all these people think love’s for show (but i would die for you in secret) (sambucky)

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this) (sambucky)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Most of the time, yes!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i just scrolled thru all my fics and I genuinely do not think I’ve ever written an ending that was even remotely angsty. I’ve written FICS that are angsty but I always wrap up the angst with a nice happy ending lmao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

tbh probably give you my sunshine, give you my best given I ended it with stoncy having a happy lil family with two kids

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn’t call it hate per se, but there is one particular fic I’ve had to enable comment moderation on because I’ve gotten a few rude comments on it

9. Do you write smut?

Lol sometimes

10. Do you write crossovers?

I did back in my FF.Net days

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don’t think so. I feel like if I did I’d remember lol so I’ll say no

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Ugh I don’t know… I feel like generally it would be katniss and peeta, but out of ships I’ve actually written for, either nurseydex or stoncy

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

sooooo sometime in 2021 or something i came up with this idea for a stoncy royalty au where Steve is heir to the king, Nancy is royalty from a neighboring kingdom in an arranged marriage to Steve, and Jonathan is their knight. but like Nancy and Jonathan have known each other since they were kids and have feelings for each other but can’t be together bc Nancy was always supposed to marry Steve, so there’s a lot of resentment and tension between the three of them that leads into…something else. and then there’s this monster in the woods outside the kingdom that has been killing villagers and Steve Nancy and Jonathan have to figure out what’s going on but also present a strong front and a specific image to the kingdom and… yeah. It’s basically a halfhearted outline and it’s the only pre s4 stranger things fic I never actually wrote bc i knew it was gonna be too plotty and I didn’t have the energy. I sometimes fantasize about reworking it into an original novel idea but let’s be honest, I’ll probably never do that either lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Why would you ask me this

Jk uhhhh I don’t know. Dialogue? I like making characters argue with each other. And I also enjoy writing funny scenes. I would say I’m good at both of those

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably writing descriptions

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I don’t think I have thoughts on this??? I mean go for it I guess. I only speak English so that’s all I write in but

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was narnia all the way back in like, 2008. on quizilla no less. only the real ones remember

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

This is sooooo hard but I think I’m gonna say who you gonna call? because it has a special place in my lil heart

I’m going to tag @fabesrutter @lavenderstobins and @marypsue (but no pressure if you don’t want to do it)

[vacantgodling]

for ovw:

1, 9, 10

thank u for indulging me also i hope you’ve been well *tiny hand on face in a caring gesture*

1. the character everyone gets wrong

like most of them imo i’m not even gl 💀 however i think the one that annoys me the most (aside from hanzo dear god) is honestly zenyatta lowkey. like the number of times i see people make zenyatta to be the most kindest happiest boy that blushes easily whenever his partner (usually ram or genji) teases him makes me so ?? tired. like he’s shown to be playful. he’s teasing. he’s witty. he admits in a voice line that he may be a monk but he’s not a pacifist so they idea that he would balk at someone doing violence is silly. and like the infantilization of him is just so odd to me. he’s got more depth than i feel like many people want to give him credit for???

also this may be my own personal vibe but i feel like people dumb down lucio AND dva like extremely heavily. sure they’re young but lucio literally led a revolution? dva is for all intents and purposes a child soldier? yes the other characters look down on dva bc of her gaming but she’s still a very serious and devoted person to her cause she just likes to have fun as well? i feel like a lot of people just focus on the fun omg waifu energy she has and nothing else about her which is like. annoying. lmao.

9. worst part of canon

LIKE. THE LACK THEREOF— jk. there is a canon but it’s so threadbare and stupid. i think top contenders is the fact that the deadlock gang was est in 1976 before ashe was introduced to the lore, and then they retconned this information (kinda) to say that when ashe, cole and [redacted-we don’t know who the third person is] made the gang, they thought it being est in 76 would look cooler and get them more cred basically. that’s what they said and i fucking remember that shit.

also insert my entire rant about how the genji hanzo and kiriko storyline is ASININE for SO MANY REASONS. also the fact that all the japanese characters are old timey samurai and ninjas basically and have essentially canon allowed magic when like no one else (except zen Kinda?) and it’s just. it’s only them. for no reason. Lmao.

also this is super small but the fact that dva a korean has a mech when like. again japan is right there lmao. dva being an idol sure i get but like if we’re gonna do mechs then like bro 💀💀 it’s a small personal nitpick tho lmao.

also just the way there feels like there’s no plan which is why they stopped story modes production entirely bc they knew there was too much conflicting bullshit to string together a cohesive story. it’s giving mess for me.

10. worst part of fanon

i don’t engage with the fandom itself as much as i used to tbh bc all of my old ovw friends aren’t into it anymore (sans valen he’s also not as into it that much. not that i blame anyone. this game makes me want to commit acts of violence). i think my biggest annoyance was the ship factions and how so many of them hated hanzo LMAO. like y’all can’t see a complex character and give a fuck huh? like we will simp for widow bc of her ass and give her a pass because she’s a GirlBoss tm when she yknow. has done some horrible shit lmao??? we Adore reaper who is also a complex character that has done some Rancid shit. but for some reason back in the day people were SOOOOO up in arms against people who cared about hanzo. it was Exhausting. like mind ur business lmao. i don’t think anyone is wrong for liking literally any of ovw’s characters but like i never understood why the vitriol for han specifically lmao.

[oracleofsecrets]

VIOLENCE AND BLOOD AND MAKING EVERYBODY MAD. 1, 19, and 25 >:)

SAE 0W-20. Oh oops. Wrote this in notes app so. Here, have my car’s motor oil flavor

Anyway I think I’ll do ace attorney bc that’s the one I’ve been Most aware of its fandom

1 — character everyone gets wrong

There are several,,, but the ones that peeve me the most are Maya and Franziska

Maya’s often flattened into memester burger queen comedic relief who dispenses Romantic advice to make nrmt happen. It’s such a waste when she’s got So much happening and is pretty damn smart

Similarly, Franziska is sidelined even More and is reduced to Angry Meanie and also a prop to encourage nrmt. I find that the average franziska portrayal is really one-note and is just like “Haha she says fool and whips people” which sucks bc again she has So much unexplored complexity in the games And in fandom that people wouldn’t hesitate to explore if she were a male character instead

And also these tend to combine into really boring franmaya just to make sunshine/grump happen. Or again, they’re off to the side or used only as a vehicle for nrmt development.

Or like… I’ve seen ppl think Maya was head over heels for Franziska from Day One like. No??? Wtf? I think Maya had More Important Things on her mind than like. “Ooh that person prosecuting me is kinda hot👀”

I can’t even elaborate Too much bc I’d be here all day but. Also criminally misportrayed is Phoenix. He is not uwu sunshine bleeding heart heart on his sleeve. And neither is Ryuunosuke.

Ok one more salt. Temenos OctopathTraveler2 wasn’t Madly In Love with Crick. Also he is Not as horny/flirty as many are portraying him as…. He outright said staves don’t need sheaths smh my head

19 — smth I’m mad/ashamed I actually kinda like

My lawyer says I don’t have to answer this question

(jk)

Idk if Shame/anger is the word for it. But I want to study kristoph under a microscope and also purposefully zoom in too far so that he gets crushed when the long magnifier breaks the slide glass

It’s more like… I don’t want to be associated w people who like genuinely think he was just misunderstood 🥺 uwuuu he was in WUV, he had a bad childhood. or the opposite, with ppl who go a lot darker in their interpretation bc that’s just not smth I want to think about

Cuz like. Obviously this guy fucking sucks and I hate him but also he’s sooooo pathetic that it’s funny

And also I think it’s interesting to think about like, what being friends (or “friends”) with someone like that for Seven Years does to Phoenix. Bc I lov putting that man through the wringer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

25 — common fandom complaint sick of hearing

Any apologism and vehement defense of shitty male characters lol

Godot’s shitty condescending misogynistic remark at franziska wasn’t a mistranslation. He calls her a shrew/unruly woman, basically says “that’s enough princess, it’s adult time” (notably using “-Chan”, where Phoenix calls her Von Karma Kenji [“prosecutor von karma”]). This line was translated to “But you can go now, princess. It's time for the big boys to take the reins.” So like…. Where’s the misinterpretation 🤨

And also he says “I don’t like talkative women”. There might be more nuance there that google translate can’t capture but like. That’s Still a sexist thing to say.

Just admit ur horny for godot and don’t care about women

Mvk doesn’t have lead poisoning; he’s an emotionally abusive parent and shitty person. Like u don’t even have to squint at the games to come to that conclusion. Kin memories and brainless analysis won’t disprove that. Sometimes abusers can even do nice things or genuinely love someone, but that doesn’t mean they’re not abusive

Barok van Zieks doesn’t have a Redemption arc from his Constant Indefensible Racism. You clowns are just horny and have bad taste.

[takethistoyourstardust]

Mage Ranks the JD2023E Map… Physical

Today, we continue our journey into the story mode with the third song, where we meet our fourth character, the popular fitness influencer Brezziana!

MAP: Physical - Dua Lipa DIFFICULTY: Easy EFFORT: Intense JD+ NEEDED?: No SEASON: Base game/Enter the dancerverses playlist

Who needs to go to sleep, when it’s my review you can read (under the cut, as always)?

--

I’ve never actually heard this song before! I know Dua Lipa (who’s name I keep wanting to spell as ‘Dia Lupa’) is a very popular singer, but I think I’ve only ever heard three songs from her. Nothing against her, she’s just never really on my radar. But if all her songs are as fun as Physical, then I really should be looking more into her, because WOW this is a fun track! It makes me wanna sing along to it... if the dance didn’t make me so out of breath!

Which isn’t a mark against the dance at all! It’s supposed to be a cardio workout, done by an in-universe fitness influencer! And it’s even rated as needing an intense amount of effort, with all the jumping and the spins she does! Seriously tho, everyone makes fun of Locked out of Heaven for the spins like spins aren’t a major part of this map’s chorus... Hell, the first gold move is you dropping to your knees while flexing! And there’s not much repetition in the moves. Well, you do the same sets of moves twice during the verses, but verse 1 vs. verse 2 has completely different sets. However... I don’t think this is a very ‘easy’ routine. In the beta version, this was apparently ranked as “medium”, and I gotta say that I agree with the beta version’s ranking. With how much jumping and popping you have to do, even if it’s easy to follow, it’s gonna be tough for a lot of players at a lower skill level, especially coming off of two easy ranked songs that felt justified in their ‘easy’ rank (and, well, Being The Third Song In The Playlist, it’s gonna feel a bit tougher than just going into it solo).

They may have been just ranking it off our coach, though, who makes everything look easy.

The coach here is Brezziana, who is just... so iconic. Her outfit is so fun, I love the colors, and her body type is so unique compared to the other dancers! The energy she injects into the dance is sooooo much fun!! She’s also the first coach in the story mode to partially lip synch along to her song. She doesn’t do it much on the verses, but she does lip synch basically all the chorus and the bridge. I mean this in a complimentary way, it gives the vibes that she’s making a TikTok! And the way she makes such a physical (no pun intended) routine look so fucking easy cannot be overstated. Trust me, by the time I finished this one, I was ready to make like the first gold move and fucking collapse.

And it’s really cool that she doesn’t hesitate to join Wanderlust and Sara on their quest to get the other coaches back! Her presence seems to calm them, and she gets the vibes immediately. Oh, shit’s going down and she’s gotta dance to help everyone? Hell yeah, let’s fucking go! Open up your portals and let’s get to it!!

The background of a fun little mall is also, well, fun! I’m a sucker for malls and big loud colorful aesthetics, so seeing her dance in such a place is a delight for the eyes! I’m sorry if this review seems shorter than the others, this is just a really solid map, so I feel like it really speaks for itself! And I love that this setting comes back in the extreme alt for this map (which will be ranked separately, as all alts will be)! Another thing I liked about the background is that it seemed extremely lived in! A ton of extras walking around, some reacting to Brezziana’s dancing, some just going about their day, and of course people joining in with her during the chorus. It’s just fun! This map is just pure fun!

--

GENERAL RATING: THUMBS UP!

SPECIFIC RATING: 10/10

The first 10/10 I award a map! This routine is fun personified. A fun coach, a fun background, a fun dance, and a fun song! I really couldn’t ask for anything more if I tried! If I had to give any specific criticism to it, I would say that it really should’ve kept it’s beta rating of Medium difficulty, I feel like Easy is a bit of a deceptive ranking. Sure, the moves themselves are easy, but stringing all of them together in this cardio workout, not so much. Also, the tie in to the story line is a bit clunky, but since everyone is technically a silent protagonist, I’m not too terribly pressed about it. But yes, I love this map!! Not much more to say than that!

--

Thanks for reading! Next map, we’re encountering a massive difficulty spike and non-binary swag with the map Rather Be! You’re not obligated to follow me, but I’m posting a ranking of a JD 2023 map every day at noon EST until I finish all the maps (and obviously when they add new ones, I’ll review those too!), so if that interests you, please stick around! Have a good day!

~ Mage <3

[hacked-by-jake]

Okay but Jake is like the perfect comfort character for a person with borderline, hear me out (i also have bpd)

So he praises Mc all the time! He reassures Mc a lot too and can probably relate to a lot of things that people with bpd feels/have been through, since he seems to have a lot of trauma. He logically explains stuff which at least helps me because then there will be a lot less misunderstandings. He's straightforward you know. Sure he's not the best at communicating but neither am i. He's also so mysterious and takes control over situations so i don't have to make too many choices which also helps me from feeling too insecure.

idk if it's just me who's thought about this??? but i thought i'd share it with you since you might be able to relate/explain it better. Thanks for reading my rant

also love your blog and your works! Have a good day/night, you're amazing! <3

ANON? I- AHHHHHHHH! THANK YOU SO, SOOOOO MUCH! YEES! You speak my thoughts!

Okay, before that, three quick things:

1: I went into everything in more detail and also explained some things with the knowledge I have. So for anyone who doesn’t have borderline there are some explanations. (I’m not a psychologist, just a patient)

Point 2: I’m talking about myself and my experiences, my symptoms, every borderliner is different, no borderline looks 1 to 1. There are so many different forms of bpd, please don’t generalize my borderline and relate it to everyone else. It’s different for everyone.

3: (Yes, now I behave like the grumbling mother) The word 'trigger' or 'triggering' has become very normal and almost everyone uses this word. But I would like to point out that in this case it is really about real triggers that trigger real symptoms. It’s not 'it triggered me so much that I got angry' after watching a video, like you often see it these days. Here it really means a triggering of often also serious symptoms, and it is therefore not just simply said. (I am talking about this here so precisely, because as a person with real triggers one is unfortunately often no longer taken seriously (And with that I do not want to deny that the person can be triggered! It is only about the everyday use of the word) When I say "This is one of my triggers" I often get the answer "Haha, same" and it is no longer taken as seriously as it actually is, I do not want to attack anyone, just to point out that this word contains an important medical purpose and is not just a meme from the Internet.)

Maybe nobody cares about this, that’s okay, but I still want to have it addressed.

----

First of all: I’m sorry that you have this annoying persecutor bpd, I hope your next days will be marked by a good episode. <3

But yes, I definitely know what you mean and I agree with you. Well, with me it is generally so, instead of having real people as fp’s (favorite persons; Fixating on someone and making your own life dependent on that person (among other things! Also means more!!) symptom of bpd), I actually only have that with fictional characters. Simply because I hardly have contact with people and usually do not want that. All my fictional crushes are emotional support/comfort characters with real mental health reasons and they are always characters that I assume they can handle me and my borderline.

I mean, like you say, Jake is an absolute calming influence/haven of peace (?). While I am much too emotional and my emotions are much stronger* than those of a person without bpd, it fits so well with Jake. While I can hardly think clearly because of emotions, he will probably continue to be calm and not let me 'infect' or 'stress' him (*people with borderline feel emotions 9 times stronger and more intense than people without borderline or Emotion regulation disorder)

In general, one of the biggest points I think is that Jake is almost completely free of prejudices etc, at least in connection with bpd. If you say "Hey Jake, btw I have bpd," he won’t run away like many others do. At least it’s like that in my head and the way I judge Jake, he’s really like that.

I also believe that Jake takes boundaries very seriously and does not disregard them. I think when I say to him, "please don’t touch me now" then he wouldn’t do it either. And if I threw myself around his neck 10 seconds later* (*without exaggerating because that’s bpd) and didn’t let him go for the next 20 minutes, then he probably wouldn’t react with "WTF? You told me not to touch you." But with, probably nothing. Just "Okay"

Besides, and yes, this is unfortunately my toxic bpd side now, but don’t judge me, I’m in therapy because I know it’s not good. Also a big point that makes it easier is that Jake doesn’t have much contact with other people, or actually not at all. This means that there are fewer triggers and fewer "reasons" to be jealous for no reason, for example, or to feel another person is more important, etc., although this is completely irrational.

I also think that Jake is not necessarily someone who really fights/argues. Even if my bpd side loves to argue, I don’t think he will get involved in an argument in the way it can happen with me. While I have completely lost touch with reality, he probably not. He will continue to be rational and not lose his logical thinking. So I could probably yell at him and he would just ignore it and go on normally. And even if that would trigger me as well, I don’t think he would be influenced by that, which is good.

Also, I don’t think Jake is a pretty spontaneous person who wants to do a lot without planning beforehand. So he probably doesn’t suddenly say from one second to the next: Let’s get in the car now and go to the crowded shopping center. This is positive because I do not have to go to a crowded shopping center xD. But also because I think if I would say "I’m sorry but I think I can’t do that today. It's too much" then he would not be annoyed or something else but would understand it. Without trying to persuade or force me for two hours.

(It’s so typical, I don’t think about anything other than these topics all day long, now that I can talk about, it all gone. No more symptoms there.😂)

Also, his rational thinking and behavior is really good, as I said before, but it’s very good for many things. For example, even if I say something that might be hurtful or mean, which unfortunately can happen, but I do this on no account intentionally, I think Jake would have less problems with it. I mean, I can’t be angry with anyone who feels hurt by me, we're all just human being. But I think through Jake’s rational being he would probably let it get to him less because rationally he knows that I don’t mean it seriously and especially that I don’t do it on purpose and that it's not me but the borderline.

Personally, I also think, of course, it always depends, but that it is not bad if you are in therapy to take the partner with you sometimes. I think that many difficulties that can occur in a relationship where one additionally has bpd, are easier to change when talking about it in therapy. Maybe you see it differently, that’s okay of course. The point I want to make is if I ask Jake if it would be okay to go to therapy with me because of me, then he probably wouldn’t say no. But I think many might have a problem with it.

I could list millions of more things now, but then we would be still sitting here tomorrow. With your words, Anon, I can only agree and I really know absolutely what you mean. You described it very well.

Jake is just a really good counterpart for a very emotional person like me.

I’m not happy that you can understand it, but I’m glad not to be the only person and that someone still feels it and absolutely understand it.

I thank you from the heart that you sent me this ask and shared your thoughts and experiences. And thank you for giving me a chance to talk about it, I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. I also hope that you can understand my words.

I wish you all well and a lot of strength as many positive episodes. Should you ever need something you can write me. Also you can send an ask if you want to get something going or if you want to add something or whatever. And I hope that you will have a wonderful day/evening/night. Take care of yourself and stay healthy. 💚

---

Now at the end. When I first talked about me and my borderline here on my blog, I already said that if you have questions about borderline, you are welcome to ask them. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them, I am absolutely okay with that. Borderline has a very bad reputation and there are many prejudices that are really hurtful. And yes, bpd has many negative sides, that’s true, but there are also many positive things that almost nobody knows about. So no matter what you want to know, just ask <3

My last words now are: It is never embarrassing, bad or weak to ask for help. If you’re not feeling well, in whatever form, ask for help. There is no shame. <3

:jake smiley:

[ac3id]

Plaything | 18+ | part i

plaything 1/ ?? | part 0

pairings: yandere! bully bakugou katsuki x fem! reader

warnings: [series] blackmail, bullying, dubcon/ noncon, filming w/o consent, yandere themes, no quirks au. ALL CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE 18 YEARS OF AGE.

↪ for chapter 1: dubcon, blackmail, humiliation, masturbation, filming w/o consent, boot grinding, a little bit of bakusquad + reader....this is filthy :D 

summary: by luck you get enrolled into u.a high the best school in your town. the only catch is that the school is filled with rich, spoilt and powerful brats who just seem to hate you and among them, a certain red eyed blonde dreads you the most

↪ for chapter 1: you bump into bakugou by accident, dropping your vanilla ice cream all over him, you try to apologize and run away but wants more...oh wait why are his friends standing there recording everything too? 

wordcount. 4k+

a/n: sooooo, it’s finally out! huge thanks to @sawamooora for proof reading this! helped me out a lot <3 sorry for making u sit through that mess x[

 this scene was inspired by that one episode of boys over flowers where the mc’s best friend drops ice cream on the main guy’s shoe and he asks the mc to lick it off...obviously that didn’t happen in the show but it really got me thinking...... 

alsO the netflix show elite,,, i just saw it and knew,,,,

taglist: @mocha-focha​, @erenyeagersbasement​ , @haribo-pop, @sunshine-fangs​, @kuremis​, @amazing-fandoms​,

dm/ inbox/ comment to be added/ removed. 

—navigation

It was a great opportunity. Never in your life would you have thought you’d manage to land a scholarship at the prestigious U.A Private Academy. 

The school was a dream, the best in your city, and only affordable for the rich. Graduating from such a school could have helped you with life in so many different ways. Not only would it open doors you could never touch before, but it would help you to form connections which would make your life undoubtedly easier.

Graduating from U.A. was a blessing, but obviously, it did not come easy. It was rather unfortunate. After your previous school building had collapsed, due to some accident, the board announced its year-long closure.

At the time, you were beyond lost and understandably frustrated - it was your last year before college and you simply couldn't risk waiting the year out. The whole situation was nerve-wracking, looking for decent schools which would allow you in. 

Honestly, you had no idea what you would’ve done if U.A. hadn’t called you that night. 

It was the last day of the summer holidays, a week after your school building had collapsed. Luckily, no one was hurt - but the damage on the campus was severe. 

You had been talking to your friends when your mother rushed into your room with exciting news. Apparently, the chairman of U.A was feeling generous. He had decided to offer four excellent students from your school a scholarship to U.A. 

You were overjoyed being one of the students along with your two other friends; Shinso Hitoshi and Izuku Midoriya. 

At first, the thought was a little scary - going into a completely different world than you were accustomed to. The kids there would be much different than you, you didn't want to be the   laughing stock, you didn’t want to be their silly little entertainment... The thought made you nervous, but when your best friend, Izuku, called you the next night explaining how he also won the scholarship; followed by Shinso, you were relieved. 

Yes, you were stepping into a whole different world but you at least had your two friends with you. 

And that brought you to the first day of school. 

You stood outside the huge gates of the even enormous academy all alone shaking in your little, expensive skirt they forced you to wear as the uniform waiting for your friends. You promised the two boys you’d wait for them, and besides, you weren’t planning on entering the building all alone. 

Your friends, Shinso and Midoriya, lived close to each other. They were supposed to meet you at the gates of the school that morning, but they were running late. Your anxiety grew the longer you stayed there, with students filling the place- arriving in their fancy cars with their expensive bags and accessories. It easily made you feel out of place.

“Hey,” you heard someone before someone tapped on your shoulder. You quickly turned around to greet the voice. Staring back at you was Uraraka Ochaco.

You remembered she was in your school too, Midoriya has a huge crush on her. 

“Yes, Uraraka? Right?” You weren’t close to her, nothing but mere acquaintances. But seeing her face - right here, right now - it made your day. 

Uraraka was dressed in the same uniform as you, there was no doubt that she was one of the four kids who won the scholarship. Both of you talked while you implored her to wait for Midoriya and Shinso. You didn’t fail to notice the way her cheeks turned pink when you mentioned Midoriya. The two of them were so obvious. 

Your friends arrived, they were late, but they came. 

Apparently, there was an accident that forced them to stay back a little longer, but they managed to make it before the first bell. 

“I actually have an old friend who goes there now,” Midoriya confesses out of the blue as the four of you enter the gates. You look at him in awe. 

During the three years in high school that both of you had spent together, he had never mentioned any friend of his going to the U.A. academy ever. 

“Why did you never tell us?” Uraraka asks. 

“well, we’re not on good terms. He used to live in the same neighborhood before his parent’s business took off. He left after middle school.” Midoriya says, a slight frown forming on his face.

“Who is he?” Shinso asks. 

Midoriya pauses briefly before explaining his entire history with a temperamental and rude blonde. Bakugou Katsuki, he calls him. His childhood friend. But from what you managed to gather, Bakugou was anything but a friend to Midoriya. 

Bakugo was once just a simple boy, living a simple life, destined to do great things - but once his parent’s clothing line ‘Dynamite’ blew up and became mainstream, he started drowning in wealth. Bakugo moved out of his old neighborhood at the starting of high school before enrolling in U.A., just like all his rich friends.

“Maybe you should say hi,” Uraraka suggests. Midoriya’s expressions turned sheepish.

“About that…” he started. “I called him yesterday, got his number from mom, and-” he stopped. 

“What did he say?” Shinso asked.

“He told me to get lost and die,” Midoriya said with a slight frown on his face, looking down. 

That was your first impression of Katsuki Bakugou. For a man you had not even met, you sure loathed him. 

School went smoothly for a week, everything was going great. The four of you kept your profile low, didn’t talk until spoken to, kept your distance, and everything was okay. 

People often starred and whispered amongst each other when they saw you in the hallways, but that was about it. Everyone seemed to be decent but… there’s always a but. 

Everything took a turn for the worse when you managed to piss off the wrong person, Bakugo Katsuki himself. 

It was an honest mistake, not even that big of a deal - especially for his standards Yet, for some reason, Bakugo wanted to get under your skin. 

It happened after your lunch break, you were on your way back to your classroom with an ice-cream cone fasted tightly in your hands. You mindlessly dashed through the hallways, trying your best to get back to class as fast as possible - you don’t want to be late. It’d earn you a bad reputation. You don’t need that- you don't want anything which could jeopardize your scholarship. 

You walked straight and took a turn. Just by fate, you bumped into a stiff, hard chest making you wobble on your feet and sending your ice cream from your hand flying straight to the ground.

“Shit,” you cursed, looking down seeing what you had to work with. 

The ice-cream cone splattered on the floor, the white creamy liquid flushed all over the floor along with staining an expensive-looking, black leather boot. A snarl comes from above you along with a group of chuckles. More expensive shoes come into your line of view as you realize you’re not alone. 

You slowly bring your gaze up, ogling at who you just pissed off. 

Staring back at you is a furious blonde, glaring at you with such intensity that it makes your stomach drop. It’s the infamous Bakugou Katsuki, you don’t want to deal with him. 

-

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” you don’t give him a chance to complain as you take your flight. Quickly, you try running away but a large hand grabs your forearm, stopping you dead in your tracks. 

You look to the side, deep red eyes stare right back at you. 

“Where are you running off to? Don’t you think you owe my friend here a proper apology?” Kirishima says, his grip on your arm growing tighter. He towers over you, his huge body trapping you with intimidation.

Going to U.A for over a week there’s a thing or two that you’ve learned about the rich, snobby brats who own the school. Not everyone is bad, a few of them are actually but the rest are just bad. 

Bakugou was the worst. From how Midoriya described him, you knew for a fact he’d be a horrible person. But hell, he managed to prove himself even worse. 

He was crude, mean, downright arrogant, and ignorant. Always screaming unasked opinions on top of his lungs, and gets mad whenever someone disagrees. He acts like the world revolves around him.

 Bakugo had a bunch of friends who he called his “followers” and they weren’t any better.

They just watched while Bakugou ruined everything, they were there to support him. 

Kirishima Eijirou the redhead, he was captain of the football team. He was a jock, brawns over brains kind of person. Girls cooed over him and his overly attractive, hot body. It looked as if he was sculpted by God himself. 

Next was Kaminari Denki. He was in the school band, dating the lead singer. And yet, he managed to find time to flirt with other girls. He was the goofball of the group, dumb and stupid But he always knew what he was doing. Even though it was barely noticeable, you could always see a devious glint in those amber eyes of his. 

Sero Hanta was famous for a lot of reasons. Most notably for having brought illegal drugs on the campus and skipping classes to go down to his junkie hangout spot to smoke weed. The man had no shame. Sometimes, he’d walk into the classrooms high as fuck. The teachers couldn’t do anything even if they tried, his parents practically owned the school; he owned the school. There was no going against the tall, lanky man who looked like he couldn’t even smash a bug. He held the most power and his friends sure knew how to abuse it. 

Last but not least was Mina Ashido. The one and only girl member of the self-proclaimed ‘bakusquad’. Sometimes, Jirou Kyouka, the lead singer of the school, would hang out with the boys and her boyfriend, but she wasn’t a permanent member. Mina was. 

In your opinion, Mina was a nightmare dressed like a daydream. With her short, pink hair and bright smile, she seemed like an angel. But she was the devil. Worse than even Bakugou, perhaps. 

She knew everything about everyone, she had leverage galore: screenshots ready to leak, videos ready to ruin lives. She had them all, and frankly- she scared you the most. 

Kirishima pushed you back, and Bakugo caught you by your shoulders. 

“That was fucking rude,” he growled, biting his fingers into your shoulder blades tight and hard making you squeal. “Are you fucking blind or something? Fucking extra.” 

“I said I’m sorry, let me go will you?” Even in such a terrifying situation, you try to remain calm.

“What do you think, Sero?” Kaminari began. Your heart sank, including Sero into anything was never a good sign. 

“She ruined Bakugou’s new shoes,” he continued. Bakugou’s hold on you tightened and you winced, turning back to him and returning his glare. 

“Okay, what do you want?” you give in, finally. A mischievous spark lights up in his crimson eyes as flashes a cocky smirk to his friends before turning back to you with a frown. He pushes you towards Mina and she catches you with an arm around your shoulder. 

“Those were expensive, right?” she looks at you and then back at Bakugou. He grunts, nodding. 

“Fuck yes, I’m pissed as hell. Some fucking extra managed to ruin it.” 

You look back down to steal a glance at his heavy, leather boot. The small, white stain melted away. 

“What will you do to make up for it?” Mina whispers your name and you cringe. They were teasing you. For their fun, they were making fun of you. 

“What can I do?” you say, sarcastically. Prying yourself away from her hold. The crowd goes dead silent before speaking. Sero is the first one to talk. 

“Lick it off.”

There’s a pause, no one speaks. Your stomach drops and your face pales at the look the five of them are giving you- it’s serious. Dead serious. 

Kaminari bursts out laughing followed by Sero and the others. The four of them get a great laugh but Bakugou stares at you head-on with his grave expressions burning through your soul. 

“Whatcha looking at? Do it,” he commands. 

The laughing dies down and Kaminari speaks, “are you serious? You want her to lick your shoe,” he can’t control his laughter, a chuckle breaks with every word. 

“Yes, I’m fucking serious. Besides, Sero recommended it,” he smirks. “Do you really want to say no to him? I don’t know so much about this but-“ he leans down close to your face, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, “it might complicate your scholarship.” 

There’s a twisted rhythm in his voice. He’s enjoying tormenting you. You still want to believe that they’re just messing around. That they’ll have their laughs and let you go, but the way Sero stares at you says otherwise. 

“You don’t wanna do it?” Bakugou asks. 

“Of course she doesn’t! That’s gross, oh my god.” Mina exclaims, earning a chuckle from the rest of the boys. 

“Hey, let’s hear it from Sero himself.” Kirishima pats Sero’s back, pushing him forward. The five of them have circled around you, coiling you inside their venomous nest with you in the center. You turn to Sero with pleading eyes, looking up at his huge form, begging. 

He smirks looking down at you, you look so tiny beneath bim. He wants to mess with you, even more, you look like a nice toy to him. He wants to play with it until he can’t. 

“I guess, I did say that-” your blood runs cold, heartbeat picking up in nervousness. “-but you don’t need to do it.” He finishes. Your face lights up while the others groan in disappointment. Bakugou looks livid. 

“Just know that, you’re the one who dropped the ice cream on Bakugou’s shoe and now you’re not even helping him out. That’s not very noble, is it? I don’t know if I even by mistake slipped that info back home- my parents might reconsider whether you truly deserve to be here or not. They don’t really like disrespectful kids who comprise the school’s name.” 

Sero ends his speech with a wide, ear-to-ear grin, followed by a pat to your head. 

“The choice is yours.”  

You pause for a moment and think. Where they were really going to make you do it, where they were really going to humiliate you like this. They were. But were you willing to do it? 

From Sero’s threat, you could tell he was serious, this was legit. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time the school expelled someone who had beef with Sero, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. They don’t care about anyone but their loving son. They wouldn’t even think once before expelling you.

“What’s your answer, princess?” Kirishima teases.

 Mina and Kaminari once again break into fits of laughter.

“What do you mean? She doesn’t have a choice here, kneel you extra.” Your heart hammers in your chest as Bakugou gestures you to kneel. You stop for a second, breathing unevenly- thinking. After a long, thoughtful sigh, you answer. 

“No, I am not going to do it.” Your voice is meek yet clear. Even though you’re trembling under the heavy gazes of five snakes, you choose to stand your ground. 

Bakugou glaring at you while the others boo. 

“Aw, c’mon you don’t mean that.” 

“Don’t be a little brat.” 

Bakugou stays silent while the others continue to throw insults at you -  calling you names and trying to make you regret your decision. You look straight forward into Bakugou’s cold, red eyes, searching for his next move. Your heart beats even harder in your chest with increased anxiety. After watching your torment for more than a few minutes, Bakugo decides he’s had enough of this game.

“Hey, shitty hair,” Bakugo starts. “Punch me.” 

“What?” Kirishima asks, vividly shaken. “Why do you want me to hit you, Bakubro?” 

“Punch me real hard, give me a black eye.” The confusion grows greater on everyone’s faces. You stare at him in awe, wondering what angle was trying to play. 

Kirishima raises his hands in defense. “Woah, dude slow down there. I’m not just going to punch you.” 

Bakugou clicks the roof of his tongue, letting out a sound of irritation. “You all are just dumb,” he starts.

“Imagine if this punny, little,” he leans down closer to you till his lips touch your ears and whispers your name with a crude chuckle. “Were to drop all her food over me, not apologize, punch and me then run away, that’d bring her into a whole world of trouble. Wouldn’t it?” 

Bakugo’s words are calculated and sly, he knows exactly what he’s getting at when he starts. His voice fills you up with dread as he makes his accusations public.

“She would be expelled on spot and Kacchan could also raise charges,” Kaminari adds. 

Your eyes widen in fear. 

“Yeah, I’ll fucking do that.” Mina giggles. “That would succck,” she cheers. Your lower lip quivers as you stare at them in disbelief, your eyes open wide only to be covered with fear. 

“Hey, c’mon, why are you doing this to me?” You feel them inch closer to you, their warmth leeching onto you the longer you stay surrounded by them. 

“Because you have no fucking manners.” Bakugou snarls. 

“Kiri, punch him. What are you waiting for? If you don’t wanna do it I will!” Kaminari cries, growing impatient. 

Kirishima laughs before he charges Bakugou. Your heart hammers in your chest. 

You think about your family, your future, and how disappointed everyone would be with you. Your dreams and aspirations, all were rooted in this school. 

It was honestly sad, pathetic even. Your entire future was just a joke to these spoiled kids. These kids who could control you, and everyone else,  with just a flick of their fingers. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the price to pay for a piece of the beautiful cake known as U.A... You resign yourself to your fate.

A piece of your mind. 

“N-no, don’t do that. I-I’ll do it,” you murmured, your voice timid and weak. The five paused looking at each other with an ominous glint in their eyes. Bakugou was the first to speak. 

“Well, then fucking get on with it. On your knees.” Obediently like a trained puppy, you got down onto your knees, not letting your eyes fall from Bakugou’s face. His red, fierce eyes barked at you with an unknown look, keeping you lost. 

“Holy shit, she’s actually doing this,” Mina squealed watching you lean forward, bringing your face next to Bakugou’s expensive boots.

“Kaminari, record this.” Sero taps at the energetic blonde, forcing him to take his phone out and hit ‘record’. As you lean further to the ground, your short skirt rides up behind you, giving the audience a clear view of your round ass and pastel panties. The sight brings a smile to Bakugou’s face as he scoffs. 

“Cute panties,” he remarks. 

You jerk, trying desperately to sit back, but Bakugo stops you. Smashing his other foot on top of your shoulder, he holds you there facing the ground.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” he growls.

You squirm, almost falling under his weight and as much you hate to admit it, a tingle of excitement runs down your spine. This was turning you on.

 A row of whistles flood in, the boys start teasing you and praising Bakugou. 

“Lick it off,”  he commands. 

You look down at his leather boot, the ice cream almost melted. There’s still a bright white spot of the sweet now liquid splayed out. Even though it’s not a lot, it still makes you cringe. You peek your shy, little tongue out timidly, forcing yourself to do the heinous deed. 

Bakugou watches you hesitate and pushes on your shoulder harder making you reach towards him. 

You give in after a final attempt, diving into his wishes. Your wet tongue touches the rough, cold leather. You cringe after a single touch, closing your eyes and scrunching your nose at the salty taste. “Clean it all off,” he commands.

You dive back in, this time letting your tongue glide across a larger portion. The humiliation burns through your body. It makes you uncomfortably hot, mostly from anger and but a little bit of arousal.

“Nice ass.” 

There it is. The excitement comes back the moment they start making suggestive comments, the attention riles you up and it’s horrible. 

“Kaminari are you even supposed to be here? Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Mina asks at the blonde pervert who was currently zooming on your ass. 

“Oh? We’re cool as long as I don’t stick my dick her,” he points to you. “That’s hella fucking tempting but I’m in love, dude.” He chuckles to himself, thinking about his girlfriend. 

They treat you like an object, talking about you like you were some sort of a toy. 

“Bet her pussy is tight,” Sero says. 

Kirishima turns to Bakugou, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Yo, Bakubro, can we touch her?” 

Bakugou looks on from watching you lick his boot and turns to Kirishima. A dark, unsettling gaze falls across his eyes as he speaks, “No. This one is mine.” he stares down at you. 

You stop lapping on his shoe and stand back on your knees, buckling your knees you try to get up but Bakugou harshly kicks your shoulder, throwing you back and making you cry. 

“Why did you do that?” you squeal, holding onto your bruised shoulder, glaring at him intently. 

The rest of the group goes quiet at the display of Bakugou’s sudden violence. 

He stands between your thighs, lazily resting his foot atop of your soft thighs. 

“You’re fucking pathetic, you know that?” the angle you were spread out in had your skirt flipped over hips, displaying your pretty, pastel panties to everyone in the room. 

Even though it’s subtle, masked by everyone’s fear of what Bakugou was planning, you still feel everyone’s gaze focused right on you and more specifically at your clothed cunt. Bakugou presses hard on your thigh making you cry. 

“Useless Deku’s friends are just like him. The fucking second you walked in here, I knew you were just another useless insect for me to stomp on.” He pauses, smirking, pressing his foot onto you even harder, twisting his ankle to increase the burning sting surging across your right thigh. “And I’m doing just that.” 

He steps off you for a moment, letting you catch your breath and recover from the burn. His eyesight travels lower down to your panties. He admires the cute pair you had on. Normally when he’d see girls naked, they’d dress themselves up the most luxurious to match his standards. But that’s not you, that could never be you. 

He rejoices at the thought of seeing your flushed, tear-stained face breaking down under him. You’ll never be like those girls, always a step behind. He can build you up and break you however he likes, you’d have no say in it. 

The power trip drives him crazy. 

He presses the tip of his boot over your clothed clothed cunt, pushing the hard material right over your sensitive clit. 

You gasp at the feeling, looking up at him with terrified eyes. He smirks down at you, moving his foot in a steady rhythm, rubbing the fabric of your cotton panties against your little pearl. 

“This turning you on? What a freak.” The rest of his group basks in shock. They watch intently as the scene spiraled out for them, too captivated to make any comments. They just keep quiet and stare. 

The way you squirm under Bakugou as he plays with your cute clit so unforgivingly makes them hot with excitement. Kaminari feels a little guilty but he blames it on his nature as a man.

Sero feels a little bad for you, they all do. But then again they wouldn’t waste the opportunity to be in Bakugou’s footsteps- literally. 

“You’re a little slut, you know that?” Bakugou sneers. 

Your gasps turn into whimpers as his simulation becomes harder. You clench your fists, desperately wishing it to be over. Tears brim in your eyes at the sheer humiliation of your corrupted form. This was just too much, too much for you to handle. 

“Please, stop,” you beg, knowing he wouldn't listen. “I’ll report you,” you cry.  A roar of laughter starts, shutting you up. 

“Go for it, you do that.” Mina comments. Kaminari walks closer to you, bringing the camera down to your face recording your horrified expressions. 

“We’ll just go ahead and post this online.” he threatens. 

A drop of tear falls down your waterline following a waterfall. You cry, leave all of your dignity behind and cry. You beg them to stop but as your pleas mix with your moans, it’s hard for anyone to understand what you’re saying. It’s not like they don’t know what you’re asking them for, they just turn deaf, simply because they can. 

Bakugou stops, he takes a step back, leaving you alone. You let out the tiniest cry when he leaves, ditching you just when you need his touch the most. 

“Feels like I’m doing too much of the work, if you want it so bad, do this yourself.” He says. Your body still burns with desire, your clit still hard and cunt salivating, you are nowhere close to being done... 

It’s as if something takes over and you are possessed by the dire need to cum, you do exactly as he says. 

You snake your fingers down your panties, deliberately rubbing on your swollen little clit before pushing your finger into your drenched cunt. You cry out as you clench around your finger, the pleasure becoming unbearable. Your legs shake and you close your eyes shut. 

You stay there on the floor, fingering yourself in the corridor, without any shame, while Kaminari records all of it. 

“She’s gonna give me a hard-on,” Kirishima says and you moan.

“She really is a slut, huh?” Sero comments. 

“She’s cute,” Mina adds with a smile. 

Bakugou scoffs, “does Deku know how much of a whore you are?” He asks. 

You don’t pay any attention to what he says, too busy bringing yourself to your climax.

“You’re getting all this right?” Mina looks over Kaminari’s shoulder and onto the phone screen which captures you beautifully losing yourself for everyone to see. 

“You close?” Bakugou asks as you feel yourself clench around fingers tightly, he bends down on his and pulls your panties down your hips, admiring your precious cunt. 

“Cute pussy,” he remarks before flicking your sensitive, hardened clit.

A rush of pleasure washes down your body as you cry while cumming. Bakugou pushes you right over the edge, a nasty grin screaming atop his face as he watches you. You curse at yourself for letting him see you like this, but there’s not much you can do but cry while you feel your juices gush around you before sliding down your thighs and onto the dirty floor. 

It takes a second for you to calm down and when you do come to your senses, dread fills you up. Tears shamelessly fall down your face as you realize what you just did. The others laugh at you, without feeling any remorse. 

Bakugou continues to stare at you with an unsettling look, while the others discuss the heinous crime you’ve just committed. 

Sero looks down at you and you catch his dark eyes staring at you. A toothy grin scavenges his face as he speaks. 

“Awesome,” he says as if he just finished some mediocre movie. 

Finally, you find the courage to get up and run. 

This was totally not awesome. 

[hintofelation99]

Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.

[morporkian-cryptid]

Today in "Elliott's Niche AF AUs": one (1) person asked me about this, sooooo...

Lupin III Discworld AU crossover headcanon pile thingy!!!

For those who don't know: Discworld is a flat world held on the back of four giant elephants on top of a giant turtle, floating through space. That world has magic, as well as trolls, dwarves, goblins etc... but in a way that's meant to subvert typical fantasy tropes.

Ankh-Morpork, the biggest city on the Disc, is a hotbed of crime, innovations, and innovations in crime. It is run by a council of guilds, and by a Patrician (a lifelong tyrant; he's elected by the guilds but he has the final say in everything). Notorious for having an Assassins', Thieves', Beggars', and Seamstresses' (sex workers) Guilds. Also notorious for its Watch (the police), which is actually surprisingly good at solving crimes. It's also the biggest immigration destination on the Disc.

Character backstories/situations:

Lupin : half-quirmian-half-agatean (Quirm being the DW equivalent of France), grew up in the Agatean Empire (DW equivalent of China/East Asia). He moved to Ankh-Morpork to follow Fujiko, and/or to escape Zenigata. He’s an illegal thief (meaning he's not registered with the Thieves' Guild), and his favourite hobby (besides just stealing in general) is screwing with the Guild. Commander Vimes, the head of the Watch, is supposed to catch him (or at least help Zenigata catch him), but he's secretly rooting for him because he dislikes the Guild slightly more than he dislikes Lupin.

Jigen : son of a couple of Agatean immigrants in Ankh-Morpork, grew up as a street urchin in the Shades (the most crime-ridden neighborhood of the notoriously crime-ridden Ankh-Morpork). He joined the Assassins’ Guild later in his life as a (mostly self-taught) sharpshooter, with a talent that outshone that of the Guild's best students. He later quit the Guild after he met Lupin (possibly had a contract to kill Lupin, and decided “screw this I’m going with him”). He can use any kind of shooting weapons, but favors crossbows. He’s tried stealing and using the gonne (DW's first and only firearm); it didn't go well. He somehow managed to learn one single spell from the wizards, the fireball, by becoming pals with Arcchancelor Ridcully (wizard, head of the Unseen University, and famous for his unfortunate passion for crossbow shooting).

Goemon : agatean immigrant/fugitive, master swordsman. He left Agatea because Fujiko stole his Zantetsuken and fled to Ankh-Morpork, so Goemon had to follow her to retrieve his sword. He then met Lupin and Jigen and decided to stick around. The Zantetsuken is a talking sword, and its personality is basically the embodiment of Bushido. It's extremely annoying (like all talking swords), but Goemon loves it. (it was probably his only friend back in Agatea)

Fujiko : agatean immigrant/fugitive. Ran away from the Agatean Empire chased by Goemon. She joined the Thieves’ Guild, but everyone confuses her for a seamstress because her technique usually involves seduction. She tried it on Vetinari once. It failed spectacularly.

Zenigata : agatean immigrant, part of the Empire’s police force, who came to Ankh-Morpork chasing Lupin. He only brought his assistant Yata with him, and has to cooperate with the Watch to have resources to catch Lupin. Vimes doesn’t particularly like him, but he’s good at his work so he can’t say anything (they're both too stubborn to get along).

Bonus:

Yata: Zenigata’s assistant, came to Ankh-Morpork with him, rapidly became great friends with Rufus Drumknott (the Head Secretary of the Patrician, Lord Vetinari). He has a bad influence on Drumknott. He also befriended Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson, but then again Carrot befriends everyone.

Ami: She's a clacks operator. Clacks are basically the DW equivalent of telegraph. There's a group of clacks hackers called the GNU, so she might have joined them.

Albert: He's part of the Patrician's Dark Clerks (they're the secret services of Ankh-Morpork)

Rebecca: She's from Quirm. That’s all I have about her for now. (Quirm's the equivalent of France, but in the french translation it was made into an equivalent of Italy)

Random-Ass Headcanons

Lupin gets along like a house on fire with Moist von Lipwig (former conman and current postmaster, notorious adrenaline junkie), both figuratively and literally. Lupin and Lipwig sometimes team up on heists and rely on each other’s help, when they’re not busy competing against each other because Lupin keeps daring Lipwig to thieving competitions.

One of the contests’ goal is to steal Vetinari’s manuscript, The Servant. Fujiko wins. She wasn’t even in the race.

///

Fujiko quickly became friends with Adora-Belle Dearheart (Moist von Lipwig's rather explosive girlfriend), they get together every now and then to trash-talk their respective boyfriends.

///

For some reason everyone thinks Lupin is a werewolf. (it’s actually Jigen)

(maybe. I haven't yet decided whether or not he is. That would be a very good source of angst, considering what most werewolves are like, and also a very good source of domestic fluff if the whole gang has to adapt to the moon cycle and Jigen's transformations. Idk. Might be fun.)

///

Fujiko owns a horse golem (a gift from Adora-Belle or something she stole, we may never know). The Gang also owns a carriage, modified with a spell so it will drive faster, and they drive it completely carelessly. It has been destroyed and rebuilt countless times. (actually a bunch of spells, Lupin probably found a way to blackmail Ridcully so he could mod the shit out of his carriage. Or they rely on Jigen’s friendship with Ridcully)

///

Lupin uses swamp dragons as firearms (dialogue courtesy of @marquise-de-clarabas: Jigen: You stole a dragon??? Lupin: I didn’t steal him! He’s his own person and can make decisions himself! Dragon: I wanna steal). He has an alias and disguise entirely dedicated to visiting the Sunshine Sanctuary For Sick Dragons, and somehow became friends with Lady Sybil Ramkin-Vimes (Commander Vimes' wife, and the greatest expert on swamp dragons in the city, probably on the Disc). Vimes doesn't know about it, and Lupin finds the whole situation hilarious. He constantly makes jokes about how he’s playing with fire.

///

The Thieves’ Guild and the Watch are competing to catch the Gang, but secretly Vimes is rooting for the Gang (the Guild just hates them). That said, Vimes also hates Lupin (only slightly less than he dislikes the Guild), because he's always a little shit whenever he gets put in jail, and then he immediately breaks out.

///

Rincewind (famously bad wizard with a shit luck and a tendency to run from problems) once got arrested by Zenigata, because he got startled by him yelling LUPAAAAAAAAAN! and started running for the hills, making Zenigata believe he was Lupin in disguise. Rincewind is terrified of Zenigata.

///

Zenigata is actively trying to stop the Thieves' Guild from catching Lupin and Co, both because he wants to catch them himself, and because he knows what the Guild does to illegal thieves and he doesn’t want it to happen to Lupin.

///

Lupin stole Ridcully’s hat (custom wizard hat with a bunch of pockets, drawers, a crossbow, and a tiny flask of alcohol) as a gift for Jigen’s birthday. He also stole Lipwig’s hat (golden cap with dove wings), after which Adora claimed she didn’t recognize Moist (dialogue courtesy of @marquise-de-clarabas: Moist: C’mon babe, it’s me, your boyfriend! Adora, knowing full well who he is: I have never met this man in my entire life). He also raided the Assassins' Guild's armory/museum to get a birthday gift for Goemon.

///

About Jigen and the gonne (spoilers for Men at Arms) : basically, the gonne being such a dangerous and destructive weapon compared to crossbows, it has a nigh-magical attraction on people, and awakens and strengthens whatever lust for power, vengeance, blood etc they have. It basically controls its user and feeds on their convictions, addictions, wants, etc. The only person known to have resisted it is Vimes (because he's a stubborn mofo with a sense of morals you could bend iron on), and even he came damn near to losing his mind. (And Carrot, because... he's Carrot.)

Assuming the gonne didn't get destroyed in this AU: after they steal it, Lupin tries to use it, gets completely possessed/cursed (again) and accidentally tries to murder his friends (again), prompting Jigen to take it from him. Jigen then gets possessed as well, and they start fighting for the gonne, until Goemon just walks in, takes it out of their hands and takes it away. Goemon's completely unaffected by the gonne because 1) of his ascetic training and 2) "it is a filthy morporkian artifact and cannot compare to the noble art of the sword."

///

Zenigata often teams up with Angua (resident werewolf of the Watch), they get along very well. The Gang is very easy to track, they smell like a tobacco factory that has caught on fire.

///

Yata and Drumknott (Patrician's head secretary, and confidante, sort of) get together after office hours, and argue about whose boss is the best (because as we all know they both have a crush on respective bosses). One day Drumknott accidentally calls Vetinari “Sempai” after he heard Yata call Zenigata that all the time.

///

Lupin follows Lipwig’s example and steals all of Yata’s pencils every time he visits the Pseudopolis Yard (the Watch's HQ). Drumknott is fuming when Yata tells him about it.

///

Leonardo Da Quirm is butt-naked, because Part 4.

///

Something with vampires, probably.

///

tagging @carriagelamp and @mad-whoman-with-a-book00 because I know you may be potentially interested in this AU ^^

[kylorengarbagedump]

Defy Your Authority: Chapter 2

Read on AO3. Part 1 here. Part 3 here.

Summary: So, like, what's the big deal, buddy?

Words: 3800

Warnings: None. Yet.

Characters: Kylo Ren x Reader

A/N: Hello!! Firstly, thank you so much to @bastila-ren​ and @elmidol​ for listening to me talk so much about this fic, for reading the first two chapters, and helping me with their generous feedback.

Secondly, I want to thank all of you for your EXTREMELY generous response to this fic. I admit I was very nervous to post this, and still am very nervous to write it, but I can't explain how helpful it is to know that people still enjoy the story and want to read more. It's definitely a story I want to write!

Y’all have truly been too kind to me. I don't have a posting schedule, just yet--I'm hoping every week or every other week. :) Love y'all SOOOOO MUCH.

Like the smarmy bastard he was, Hux fought off a smirk. But Allegiant General Pryde gazed at you with what some might refer to as sheer, indignant horror.

Kylo Ren stopped feet from the throne, his gaze wandering your grungy hair, dirtied uniform, the cell filth on your face.

“Hm,” he said. “That’s one way to greet your Supreme Leader.”

Embers tickled your cheeks. Your Supreme Leader.

You looked at the two other men. What was on your tongue: Would you prefer I get on my knees instead?

What you ended up saying: “Uh, sorry. Sir.”

“I believe the Supreme Leader requires an apology a little more comprehensive than uh, sorry.”  Pryde stepped forward, as if to explain. “Sir, this woman was brought aboard by General Hux without prior approval.”

Kylo glanced between the older men, stare drifting to you, the darkness in his eyes reviving an animal within you that had been placed on life support. 

“Yes,” he replied. “I don’t recall providing authorization for this.”

“Supreme Leader,” Hux said, “we both know your TIE has been out of commission for several cycles. I thought it prudent to--”

“You thought it prudent to ask a manager of a remote outpost to come aboard the flagship of the First Order. I assume that’s what you’re about to say.” Pryde paused, waiting for Hux’s contrition--but none came. He turned to Kylo. “Sir, again, please forgive me. Had I known he’d be bringing aboard a rim-dweller who would defy your authority, I would’ve denied his request, entirely.”

“Defiance.” Kylo’s gaze drilled you. Much like you had dreamt of something else of his drilling you. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Pryde balked. “Well, I hardly find it appropriate to address the Supreme Leader of the First Order as dude, for starters.” He spat the word onto the floor like poison. “Really, General, you and her both should be begging for his pardon.”

You swallowed, attention on Kylo, trying to hide your glee. “Please, please forgive me,” you murmured. “Supreme Leader.”

Hux cleared his throat. “My apologies as well, sir.”

“Hm.” If he’d understood your tease, he didn’t acknowledge it. You frowned. Kylo looked to the cloaked mercenaries behind you. “Escort her back to Orinda.”

Disbelief smacked you across the face. “I’m sorry, what?”

Sputtering, Hux stepped forward. “Supreme Leader--”

“You don’t belong on this vessel,” Kylo said, glimpsing you, then the cloaked figures again. “Report is postponed. Prepare the Buzzard for departure.” 

Like droids, they activated and brushed past you, stalking toward the turbolift. The Supreme Dickhead gazed at you expectantly.

“They’re not patient.”

You shook your head, crossing your arms. “If you think I’m leaving--”

“Supreme Leader,” Hux said again. For once, you felt like both of you were stuck in the same flabbergasted pod. “Repairing your fighter has already wasted the time of numerous engineers, we don’t need to add--”

“Perhaps every engineer aboard deserves to have their time equally wasted, General.”

Hux’s jaw tensed. “If you wish, sir,” he replied. “But we could resolve the issue now.”

“We won’t.”

For whatever reason, Kylo Ren seemed dedicated to preventing you from working on this ship, as if he didn’t know your skill level. As if he believed other engineers deserved a shot at it over you. Ignoring the furious trembling of your fingers, you dug them into your sleeves. 

“What, you don’t think I’m capable?” you asked, frowning.

Pryde sighed. “Supreme Leader, the Council--”

Kylo pivoted to you. “No.” There was no hint of mockery or deception in his tone. “You’re capable.”

You swallowed, shrugged your shoulder. Tried not to sound hurt. “Then why won’t you let me try?”

Hazel eyes lingered, held you in silence for deafening seconds. There was something very, very tired inside of them. 

“Sir,” Pryde said, “as much as I love the rousing debate over whether or not this rimrat should be deemed worthy of working on your starfighter, the Supreme Council meeting is in minutes.” He turned to you. “I believe you’ve been directed to leave.”

You furrowed your brow, but miraculously managed to say nothing. The muscle under Kylo’s nose twitched. 

“You’ll get two hours.” He didn’t seem excited about the idea. “After that, you will return to Orinda.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” you sighed. “Sir.”

A huff escaped him. “The Supreme Council meeting.” He turned, strode to the exit. “Come.”

Pryde frowned. “Sir, shouldn’t Hux return her to the hangar?”

“No.” Kylo’s voice ricocheted in the chamber. “She’s coming.”

Something like joy sparkled in your heart. Hux jutted out his chin, smirking at Pryde, who frowned and looked to you. You resisted the urge to stick your tongue out at him. There was a puzzle in his mind regarding your identity, a puzzle he was struggling to put together without the missing pieces. You weren’t interested in offering them. 

The three of you followed Kylo into the turbolift. Out of irritation, you stood as far away from him as possible. Awkward quiet settled in the air, and you grit your teeth, ignoring the sting of humiliation at your cheeks. Sure, it was nice he was inviting you to his little meeting, but that hardly compensated for the fact that it had been four entire months since you’d seen him and he was intent on booting you without so much as a parting fuck. 

Not that you wanted to fuck him after that stunt. 

Mostly.

The lift descended. Kylo hadn’t even looked at you, despite your best attempts at petty distancing. Hundreds of words hung on your tongue, and so few of them were appropriate for the ears of Hux and Pryde. Luckily for you, you could think them, instead.

Jackass.

The blast door slid open, and Kylo exited without response, the two generals on his heels. You lagged behind them, glare boring into the broad-shouldered bastard with the flowing cape.

Can’t believe this asshole was here the entire time, knowing everything, with all of the power in the galaxy, just doing bantha-shit about it.

Stormtroopers passed in formation, nodding in deference to the men in front of you as you turned a corner. The clomping of boots was the only sound for meters.

Leaving you for four months, horny as hell, lonely as hell, all while he was here doing what? Jerking off? As if he hadn’t begged you to stay. Please.

At the end of the hall, a set of blast doors parted, and you trailed the group inside, greeted by a massive, jet-black table with a hologram projector buried in the center. The occupants of about a dozen chairs turned, their eyes stuck to you, assessing you. Kylo crossed to the head of the table, Hux and Pryde taking spaces near him. The only open seats were at the back, relegated for only the most irrelevant attendees. You slunk over to one, sinking into it.

Apparently you’re not relevant to anyone in this room, anyway.

“Who’s this?” A balding officer of high-rank stared at you. “Supreme Leader?”

Pryde leaned forward. “She’s the Chief--”

“Who she is,” Kylo drawled, “is none of your concern.” 

Blood heated your face. The room rumbled with uncertainty, but only for seconds. 

“Sir,” said an older woman with slick blonde hair, “Multiple locations on Kamino refused entry to officers seeking out junior recruits. Our entry-level ranks are suffering. Requesting additional--”

Kylo glanced at her. “Yes.”

She nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

“Supreme Leader,” said an older, white-haired man. “Surveillance indicates that a fuel depot located in the Inner Rim has received communications from Resistance starships.”

“Have they responded?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Eliminate them.”

“Yes, sir.”

Another, dark-skinned woman inched to the edge of her seat. “Supreme Leader, ground troops found no evidence of Resistance sympathizers on the most recent patrol of Aeos Prime.”

“And the infrastructure.”

“Seems salvageable, sir.”

Kylo blinked, as if the answer hadn’t even mattered. “Move to the next outpost in the system.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader.”

Yet another man cleared his throat. “Supreme Leader, if I may…”

Swallowing, you stared into the gleaming tabletop, tracing the rivets of white light bordering the projector. Voices rose, offering status updates and seeking approval of the man at the head of the room. Obviously, there was nothing attractive about how competent and powerful Kylo Ren appeared in this setting. And this definitely did not tingle pride in your belly watching every single person in this room vie for his favor, knowing that out of all of them, the one he’d fucked was you.

Then again, maybe that was the very crux of the issue. His time and attention was desired and demanded and split between thousands--he directed and delegated an entire, galaxy-wide government. He commanded armies. Strategized operations. Balanced every need, tangible and intangible, with only two hands.

You spent your days bathing in ion dust.

The Allegiant Asshole cleared his throat, breaking you from your pity party. “General Hux,” he said, “didn’t you have your pet project to present?”

All eyes turned to Hux, his face dull with irritation. Lips pursing, he straightened his spine, fingers whizzing over the data screen at his seat. One swipe, a quick field entry, and the projector hummed to life, shooting a blue hologram of a TIE fighter above the table. It flickered, rotating like a display.

“The First Order has regularly demonstrated deficient performance during naval engagements, despite our superior numbers and resources,” Hux said. “After gathering data, we discovered that during our most recent missions, the TIE fighter is regularly out-piloted by Resistance sympathizers.” He tapped the screen, and the hologram split into a cross-section. “Thorough research indicates the TIE model is obsolete.”

The room crackled with whispers, officers turning to each other and looking to Hux, their faces twisted in disbelief. Kylo Ren sat, saying nothing, trained on the display. 

Sighing, you gazed at your hands and cleaned your nails. To you, this was obvious. Of course the basic TIE models--the TIE/fo models--were obsolete. The ships were highly inflexible, carried little firepower for their unwieldy construction, and had no hyperdrive application. In comparison to the model used by the Special Forces, the TIE/fo was practically useless. 

It was less obvious why these high-ranking strangers seemed unable to handle the truth.

“General,” said a dark-skinned man. “Are you proposing we abandon the TIE corps?”

Hux pressed the screen again, and it zoomed in on an exposed ion engine. “At the very least, the most basic TIE corps is woefully unequipped in comparison to Resistance fighters.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he replied, “our pilots are extensively trained.”

Pryde sneered. “Admiral Griss is correct,” he said. “Our elite troops don’t demonstrate any issue with crushing Resistance burrows.”

“Elite troops are never the ones defending a new occupation.” Hux gestured to the engine blueprint. “We sacrifice our progress because of this antiquated construction.”

“And what’s so antiquated about it?” Pryde sneered. “The construction is based on the Imperial TIE. These ships were a well-known symbol of naval superiority.”

“Updated for modern needs,” added Griss. 

Hux’s voice rose a decibel. “Not modern enough, given how frequently a single X-wing will decimate an entire unit.”

You wanted to groan. Against your will, you had to admit Hux was right. Orinda regularly saw straggling, crippled TIEs smash into the valley outside the hangar in attempts to land for repair. Mirna had pulled more pilots than you could count out of blazing wreckage.

“Do you suggest we change the basic TIE unit, then?” Griss asked.

“Perhaps,” Hux replied, “or we move to a different construction entirely.”

The other officers chuckled, murmurs rippling through the ranks again. 

“Supreme Leader,” Pryde said, “what he’s suggesting is absurd. Sienar-Jaemus manufactures perfectly appropriate and functional fighters at an affordable price to the First Order. It’s been done this way since the Empire.”

Rolling your eyes, you sat back in your chair. For a General of a government allegedly interested in innovation and progress, Pryde seemed to love sucking the Empire’s dick. The fact that they were refusing to even entertain Hux’s idea was, well…

“Perhaps we should place a double order for the basic fighters, sir,” Pryde continued. “To demonstrate their capability.”

You snorted. “Now that’s absurd.”

Every voice in the room died. Leather squelched, and you glanced up from your nails in time to see a dozen bodies shifting in their seats to turn and look at you. Inwardly, you cursed--you hadn’t had to practice volume control in months. 

At the head of the table, Kylo Ren stared. His expression, even to you, was indiscernible. But even if he was mad, you wouldn’t have cared. Not as long as he still intended on kicking you off the Steadfast without another word.

Shrugging, you said, “General Hux is right. The original TIE model is flawed. They lose out one-on-one almost every time.” Kylo still said nothing, the rest of the room too confused to interrupt you. “I guarantee there’s more credits spent on replacement models than it would cost to invest in something more versatile.”

Griss’s nose wrinkled, and he looked between you and Kylo. “I…” When Kylo offered no response, Griss settled on you. “I’m not sure what brought you here, ah… Lieutenant, but regardless of your purpose, you’re surrounded by superiors of the First Order. Don’t speak out of turn.”

“Right,” you said, “I do apologize, sir.  But you have to admit that this all is a little absurd. I see busted up basic TIEs all the time. They’re a failure.”

“Yes,” he replied, “and you are?”

“Chief of Operations on Orinda.”

“An outpost?” The room echoed with laughter, and you bristled. Griss gestured to you. “Supreme Leader, please, why is this woman here?”

Pryde nodded. “I know you have your reasons, sir, but surely she doesn’t belong in this room.”

“Maybe this woman knows what she’s talking about,” you mumbled.

“Excuse me?” Griss whipped around, leering at you. “Mind repeating yourself, Lieutenant?”

Volume control. Really needed to get better with that. 

Gathering a breath, you swallowed your ire. You could not spend all two hours on the Steadfast immediately making enemies with the military leaders of the First Order. Given Kylo’s state, you doubted he’d encourage your attitude. 

“My apologies,” you said, bowing your head, “I’m just. Nervous. Being on this ship for the first time.”

“Perhaps you’ve spent too much time on Orinda,” said Griss. “You’ve forgotten the hierarchy.”

“She needs re-education,” said the balding man.

The dark-skinned woman huffed. “Or a demotion.”

“Some form of discipline, surely.”

“Yes,” said Pryde with a glare. “Perhaps that should be arranged.”

Your heart skipped.

“Enough.”

Every person in the room spun, attention on Kylo Ren.

He was still inscrutable. Still gazing directly at you. 

A shiver spilled over your spine. Like instinct, your thighs pressed together. 

“General Hux,” he said. “Prepare a plan for the replacement of the basic TIE model.” A pause. No one spoke a word. “Dismissed.”

You remained in your seat as the other officers rose, their lips sealed as they filed out of the room. Hux scowled at you--ungrateful prick--and acknowledged Kylo’s order before leaving. Pryde scrutinized you, his focus flipping between you and his Supreme Leader as he stood from the table. 

“It’s time to leave, Lieutenant,” he said.

“I need a moment,” you replied, glancing at him. “Sir.”

Pryde turned to Kylo. “Sir?”

Kylo’s face was blank. “Dismissed, General.”

Whatever Pryde was thinking, he didn’t say. He offered deference to the Supreme Leader before strutting out, the blast door shutting behind him.

The moment it closed, the room thickened with heat, like stars vaporized the air. Sweat beaded your hairline, your tongue drying to paper. Every movement you thought to make was paused, paralyzed by confusion. Had it been four months ago, you’d be getting railed on top of the table or in his chair, you were sure of it. But Kylo seemed almost indifferent now. It neutered every response that came to mind.

Here you were, alone with Kylo Ren for the first time since you’d left. He was only meters away from you. And you had absolutely no idea what to do.

“Your time is limited, Lieutenant.”

A reminder he wanted you gone. You shook your head, chewing the inside of your lip. 

“The silencer is free to be inspected.”

Indignance tightened your chest. Your face was on fire.

“Or perhaps,” Kylo said, “you’d rather travel directly to Orinda.”

You whirled on him. “So you knew I was on Orinda the entire time?” Your frustration was unfettered. “You knew and just didn’t do anything about it? For four months?”

His stare didn’t yield. “Yes.”

“Yes?” you said. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say for yourself? How do you expect me to respond to that?” More heat gripped your neck. He was still. “Why do you want me gone so badly? You act like you don’t even want me around.”

“I don’t.”

The words were switchblades to your chest. You shook your head, gulped your pain.

“Uh. Okay. Wow.” Sighing, you continued, “But don’t you--I mean. You pleaded with me to stay.”

He said nothing.

“You... I know how you feel. You can’t hide that from me. Do you…” Your throat was tight. “Did something change?”

For four months, you had wondered what had been going on in Kylo Ren’s mind. Seeing him draped in the responsibility of the Supreme Leader of the First Order, hesitation crept into your gut. Within his gaze, perhaps only apparent to you, there was a black, terrible emptiness, like shadows reined in by his rage. Exhaustion hung in dark circles under his eyes and at his cheeks. His presence was as breathtaking as it ever had been, only haunted with the weight of the galaxy. 

For four months, you had wondered. You didn’t know, now, if you wanted the answer.

“You don’t belong here.” Kylo paused, then stood, moving toward the door. “Your presence is not warranted.”

“Warranted? That’s not what this is about.” You shot to your feet, intercepting his path. “You knew where I was, and you never once came to me! You left me there! Alone!” He side-stepped you, and you followed him, keeping your eyes chained to his. “Didn’t you miss me?” you asked. “Didn’t you think about me?”

He stalled. Exhaling through his nose, he spoke through his teeth. “Yes.”

“Then why didn’t you find me?” you said. “You promised!” 

Kylo stood, trapped in your stare, his fingers furling into fists.

“I know how you feel about me.” You advanced on him. “I know it.” 

You were so near you could feel his breath, count the individual strands of his hair, bask in the warmth of his body. A short inhale, and memory slammed you like gravity--the scent of his skin, his palms gripping your waist, his lips brushing your ear. The ache in your hands at night when they were not full of him, the bedtime yearning in your limbs when they were not wound around his. You had known him, known him, as if his blood ran in your veins.  

This was the closest you’d been to Kylo Ren in weeks upon weeks. Somehow, you only felt further away.

“Why?” you asked. “Why didn’t you find me?” After all of it, he only stared. It lit you with rage, and you bumped your chest with his. “Say something!”

The muscle in his jaw tightened. His shoulders rolled. But he was silent. 

A peal of bitter laughter escaped you. Whatever issues he had didn’t mater. You deserved more than what he was offering.

“Wow. Okay.” You shrugged, stepping back. “I don’t know who I was thinking about for these past four months, but it definitely wasn’t you.” Shaking your head, you turned toward the door. “Whatever, dude. Fuck you.”

You took a single step, and Kylo snatched your wrist, whipped you against his body. 

“You say that,” he breathed, “as if you haven’t been thinking about getting fucked since you arrived.”

Oxygen fled your lungs. Every blood cell in your body piled onto your cheeks and between your legs. In seconds, you were a throbbing, pent-up, swell of lust. 

You swallowed. “Oh, please,” you muttered. “You can’t distract me that easily. You know I need answers.”

“Hm.” Kylo scanned your figure. “So you say.”

“You’re such an asshole.” You tried to peel your wrist free. “Why didn’t you do this weeks ago, huh?”

His face darkened, his hold on you tightened. 

“You ask questions that have no answers.”

“Ugh. Get off.” Grunting, you shouldered him, body buffeting his like a flaccid wave. It would’ve been arousing, his strength, how utterly solid he was, if he wasn’t making you miserable in this moment. “You’re so full of it, man. Let me go. I’ll go repair your dumbass ship and you can send me back to Orinda, like you so clearly want.”

“You presume to understand what I want.” His voice was severe, a dull blade. “You will not stay here.” The ghost of a smirk fled his face. “But you won’t escape punishment when you’re gone.”

You shuddered, stuck out your chin. “Your punishments don’t scare me.”

Kylo growled. “Really.” A leather palm cupped the back of your neck, tugged you close. “Such confidence.”

You couldn’t help it. A tiny, excited whimper left you. Kylo shifted, his hand squeezed--

The projector in the table beeped. An incoming transmission. The both of you froze, staring at the blinking request on the interface.  You coughed, patted his chest as a signal to answer it. The knot in his throat bobbed, and he released you, crossing to the console and accepting the message.

Hux appeared in hologram form. “Supreme Leader,” he said, voice even more snivelly through the broadcast. “We received a distress signal from Orinda. Multiple Resistance fighters have been detected on radar. Requests for response from the officers stationed there have gone unanswered.”

The joints in your body locked. Your mouth opened, but nothing came out.

“Permission to dispatch TIE units, sir,” Hux said.

Kylo was still. “Dispatch.”

“Yes, sir.”

The hologram winked out. Before you could process, your feet were moving you toward the door.

“I gotta go.” Your pulse pounded in your temple. The entirety of your crew was down there. By themselves. “I gotta go there. I gotta get there. I’m sorry, I know I said I would repair your ship but--”

“Stop.” 

“--it’s probably for the best anyway, I just gotta find some way there, I--”

He spoke your name like a command. You stopped. Stared into his tired, empty eyes. 

His chest fell in a small sigh. “We’ll take the Buzzard,” he said. “Come.”

Kylo Ren tread past you, through the blast doors, into the hallway. The tatters of your bewildered heart weren’t a priority right now. You followed him--your Supreme Leader.

[ouyangzizhensdad]

(1/2) isn't it hypocritical of you to pick on cql fans for their purposeful misreading of canon (which some do, i'm not denying that at all) and then turn around and do that to someone who hasn't said anything critical of mdzs? that person was just listing the merits of each adaptation and you just tore into them as if them saying that cql has any merits at all is an insult to mdzs.

2/2 for example, you pick on the three bows thing, but that is novel canon too and cql shows multiple instances of people bowing in respect only twice, so it's not insanely far-fetched that the three bows are read as an acknowledgement of their marital status. anyway, you're perfectly free to see it as bows of respect, but there's little need to ridicule someone who says they see it differently and that they like cql because of it.

3/2 and i'm sorry if i'm taking too much of your time, i guess i'm a little upset because i've always seen you as a voice of reason in the fandom. to see you make multiple posts tearing down what is an uncontroversial statement (that canon and all adaptations have their own merits, and people shouldn't be judged for preferring one over the other) is a bit hurtful. you say you don't hate cql, but you certainly seem eager to shit on anyone who has anything nice to say about it? 

Hi anon,

I’m not sure I’d consider it hypocritical. I don’t think I’ve ever operated with the caveat that I should only be critical of the arguments of people who have been critical of the book in turn--I guess the baseline is that I am critical of all things I come across. I am not likewise sure I’ve “torn down” into that person or “ridiculed” them. I’ve quoted one part “all adaptations are equally good” and said (yes, as per usual, in a bitter and pretentious tone): “at least take the subjective route of equally enjoyable”. I don’t see how that’s being extremely mean about cql: my view was more that it irks me, for a lack of a better word, that people truly just push aside all the very real issues at a technical level (aside from anything that has to do with the writing or creative choices) that prevents cql, imo, to be considered comparable to other adaptations like the audio drama or the donghua even if it is not my particular cup of tea--but that this does not mean I said that c/ql cannot be enjoyable. I guess I have my issues with people generally being unable to distinguish with a well-made piece of fiction versus one they enjoyed. And that I am still a little bit flabbergasted that it remains a controversial statement to explain that c/ql, despite trying very hard, has many issues that directly impact it’s ability to stand as a well-made tv series.

Then, I think a few days later, I showed the arguments being leveraged by that same person to argue c/ql was just as good or what it ‘brought’ to the table that the other adaptations didn’t (partly because they were representative of many others I had encounter) and ‘responded’ to them one by one underlining how I was left unconvinced by them. I mentioned how one argument in favour (it includes more emotional scenes of wwx crying and being angry) could be read as a failure of the adaptation to stay true to the characterisation of the main character, who is textually said to rarely cry or get angry. I questioned whether it was such a “win” for c/ql to include more scenes of wq and jyl considering how we can infer why this change too place, and how it focuses on a quantitative reading--it’s less a ‘the book handled female characters sooooo much better’ argument than a a ‘we’re really going to give kudos to a tv series because we saw the female characters more often, regardless of how this impacts their characterisation, agency and impact on the story on a narrative and thematic level or why this change likely was made?’.

Then, the three bows thing. I won’t pretend to be an expert here, but my understanding which has come from discussion with Chinese or chinese-diasporic people, is that the third bow must be to one another (bow to the heaven and earth 一拜天地, to the parents 二拜高堂, then to each other 夫妻对拜). We can consider the three bows a wink-wink from the production team because that was the best they could do in the circumstances, maybe. But can we say that these can really be read as an “acknowledgement of their marital status”? It’s different from the novel because wwx talks about reserving that third bow to one another for later. This relates as well to the way fandom have sort of exaggerated aspects of CQL due to misunderstanding certain cultural or linguistic aspects of it, as we have with people being convinced zhiji must always be a grand romantic declaration. Is it a crime to choose to interpret/headcanon these things that way? Of course not. But does it make for good arguments to argue c/ql brought something special to the table that the other works didn’t? I don’t think so.

Overall, I won’t pretend I don’t have a very bitter and pretentious way of phrasing things but I do wonder if that’s where I consider it gets into ‘ridiculing’ territory--I didn’t call them names or anything, I just responded to their points. But the truth is, as you might think that I am targeting that person, whoever they are, for ‘liking c/ql,’ that’s just how I am in general, about all things: I am critical of any arguments I hear and I have no filter. I’m actually trying to be courteous by keeping my responses to my blog, not reblogging from their posts, cutting off the person’s profile picture or name, etc. because in any case more often than not they simply represent to me an illustrative example. Hell, I even get to re-read how I worded things which makes them come out way better than in real life.

You can of course consider that I was out of line! Perhaps it is the pitfall of considering a person a certain thing. Even if you think of someone a “voice of reason” you might also consider that some of the stuff they do or say is a little bit unreasonable. We all draw lines differently. Just because you generally agree with someone does not mean some of the stuff they say or do won’t make you shake your head in disapproval. And if you dislike these posts of mine but still want to stay for the rest, you can blocklist “brine corner”. Unfortunately, although many have tried to change this, I am an incurable critic who is terminally and brutally honest.