#sooooo many thoughts truly wtf is happening

[trans-xianxian]

hey onmyoji mewtchuals are you out there. have you done the latest cut scene. do you know about the insanity. is anybody out there can anybody hear me

[spurgie-cousin]

Do you remember the big bates / Duggar baby boom a few years back, when it seemed like (even more than usual) everybody was announcing the name for their baby like as SOON as they found out the gender? I remember personally thinking at the time that was kind of an annoying thing to do, or if nothing else kind of a shame because by the time the baby got here there wasn’t really any fun new news to share/learn. Also all the times we have ever been annoyed by names that feel too close to an existing name (Evy/Evie being the most notable).

I do still think it’s nice to save the name for birth (fundie or otherwise)…..BUT I just want to issue a personal mea culpa to the fundieverse—as a first time pregnant person expecting at the same time as both of my older sisters (both of them have 1-2 kids already and both are due before me)—I really do get why that happened.

We are due end of September, are having a boy, and settled on our name (first and middle) several weeks ago. We are waiting to announce the name til birth, but I had shared the first name as one on our short list with my mom and oldest sister when we were still deciding. And when I tell you I am SO paranoid that my middle sister (due with her first boy, second child, in August) is going to use our name before we get a chance to—i mean I am pretty chill overall but the fear she will steal our name is maybe my most intrusive thought.

It would be VERY on brand for this sister to do that (either intentionally or because she heard it thrown around as a brainstorm suggestion in conversation with my mom or something and got incepted into stealing it kind of unintentionally). And the thing is, if that happens what can you do?? Are you going to hold it against the baby? Respond with “wtf” and try to get the fam on your side against your sibling minutes after they birthed this innocent life into the world? No way. You’ve got no recourse.

Anyway. Just want to say as someone who never considered announcing a name before birth, I am now considering announcing internally to the family just to be sure my sister due before me doesn’t steal our baby name. And I only have 2 sisters pregnant at the same time as me, not like 7 or however many it has been at once in these families. I also formally forgive all parties the Evy/Evie ordeal. Those kids will have a million cousins and they live across the damn country from each other. Once you’ve settled on a name and feel a little bit bonded with that baby in your belly, it’s hard to let it go and just pick something else.

Not really an ask I guess just…another example of *these are real people with very bad and harmful beliefs and occasionally very cringy behaviors, but also—sometimes they’re just human and we are perhaps a bit quick to be harsh*? Idk felt like it belonged on fundie tumblr but I don’t really have a blog so sent it to you feel free to just skip or delete!!

Yea I agree lol, I remember being sooooo annoyed with all the speculated name drama for that exact reason, like truly. There's a portion of the fundie snark community that desperately needs these women to be having some kind of secret Real Housewives-level of drama going on between them at all times because they view it all as entertainment, and the women as characters. And that's not to say I don't believe any of those people ever have conflict with each other, but to assume things like someone giving their child a name they'll have forever just to spite someone or with no evidence like.......come on lol.

And like you mentioned with the name announcement thing, I think people forget that these women are also a part of communities with similar values, so in addition to their humongous families, they're also probably getting birth announcements from friends/acquaintances every other heartbeat. So who knows why any of them chose to announce things like names when they did, maybe it was to steal spotlight from a sister like so many snarkers thought, or maybe it was just for the 100000 other reasons people decide when to do that stuff. I just don't relate to their need to immediately find a negative explanation for these kinds of things.

Idk I have so much to say about this subject that I just can't articulate right now because I have a million things to do atm, but there's a whole other conversation we could have about how much misogyny pops up in the snarking community, even though it is supposedly a very feminist place. I don't know how else to describe it right now except that it's often the same vibe as when people say rancid shit about fat folks online and then justify it with "i JuSt WaNt YoU tO bE hEaLtHy" y'know

[rondoel]

Also yeah, some of my thoughts about second chapter of Deltarune because why not :D under the cut to not take too much space

It was SOOOOO FUN! So much better than the first one: so much more charming, funny, immersive. Also It felt definitely much longer, dunno how true that is but I’m not complaining.

These three robo dudes were so fun, and the dance fight was so adorable! Kinda bummer they got a bit overshadowed by the ton of stuff that was still happening after but I felt need to point it out because I was literally awwing and just nodding to the beat of music, so fun!

ugh so many adorable scenes I don’t think I can mention them all

but

The MUSIC! Omg. Like the rest of the game - just so fun and charming. And a lot of bangers too

Characters and their relationships were so much better this time too!

Speaking of which, I’m kinda questioning Toby’s decission to make the first chapter the less fun one. That a lot characters are not likeable from the start, they just get some redemption along the way or at the ending. Like, total opposite of chapter 2: there wasn’t a single character I didn’t like and a lot of them were so unbelievably entertaining - just like in Undertale.

So that understandably bummed me out in chapter 1 where like I said - I hated Susie, I didn’t like Ralsei very much. Now in chapter 2 it went complete 180 and felt more like like the vibe I know from this creator

So I don’t understand why he didn’t go with this also for the first chapter - and It definitely feels more like a choice than a slip up? I just know he’s good enough writer to be aware of what he’s doing. So I don’t understand this decission.

Noelle? Man, Noelle was so adorbs at the beginning but by the ending she was so damn annoying with acknowleding only Susie like, ever. Like, girl, I don’t care If you’re crushing, just straight up rude so it got a wtf and then constant eyerolls from me. Shame.

Also wanted to point out that whole Noelle/Queen plot felt a bit like The Snow Queen? :D I wonder If anyone else got these vibes. And Berdly was such a nice addition to it hahah! I liked his arc too.

The Queen was such a perfect villain. Hands down. Such an entertaining persona. The final battle was so fun tho it took me a few times hahah!

Oh yeah, and the Spamton. Oh, Spamton. Spamton NEO battle was the MOST fun I’ve had in both Undertale and Deltarune! The combat gameplay design got to truly shine there. Hats off! Will definitely want to do that again just for funsies.

[heartfragment]

Okay sorry for the long asks I'm gonna send! I wanna give you my thoughts on the routes after playing and getting the good endings of all four of them (I haven't touched the bad ends yet because I'm not ready to destroy my soul 😔) and I figured it'd be easier to have one ask per route for simplicity. Also I will be as spoiler free as possible with my thoughts for the sake of anyone who hasn't played yet. These may not be the best written reviews though, my thoughts kinda go all over lol. So first off, Kay my beloved darling!

He was the one who caught my attention first and I gotta say while I adore everyone so far he's still my favorite! Man that Act 1 plot twist about who Kay really is? I'm still mind blown over it like I never ever EVER expected that to be the case! So when that was thrown at me I was basically like "?????? wtf??? WTF????" Honestly Kay's route was sooo heartbreaking in many respects, from Kay's struggles to Xani dealing with the consequences. And my gosh as someone who is the biggest baby alive when it comes to horror and anything related to it, the unsettling moments were *chef's kiss* I saw another anon bring this up and I wanna agree that Kay's VA? Outstanding, simply incredible. Every emotion, every line that came from Kay was believable and hit me in all the right ways. My fave moments being a certain breakdown in a shack and basically everything from the Branch 2 ending. And I really enjoyed how you wrote the mental health issues in this route, especially the issue regarding dependency. Kay himself was so enjoyable as a character as well, both pre and post that part of Act 1. I loved his teasing moments and kindness, I loved his more solemn moments, I loved the moments when he was struggling because of you know what. This route also had me asking a lot of questions which works that it's paired with Clive's route that contains some answers. For Kay my favorite end was the Branch 2 ending, I think it was the best way to wrap up everything that happened.

Hi anon!! This is ... one of the most sweet and most lovely asks I've ever gotten. Thank you so, so much for taking the time to write all of this. I'm sorry it took me so long to actually reply. I was away on vacation and while I saw these soon after they were sent, I didn't want to reply until I had access to a computer so that I could compile all the asks into one post.

I hope you know that this message literally lit up my entire day when I first saw it and it continues to do so as I reply to it now <3 Things like this help to encourage me to keep going even when things get tough. I'm glad you got so much enjoyment out of books one & two! If you haven't already, please consider leaving a review on the game as well. It isn't necessary of course, but it helps a LOT to have detailed comments like this... or even simple ones like "it was good"!

Wishing you a super lovely day!

Here's a compilation of this anon's other asks:

Next up, Clive you little weirdo (affectionate)!

Starting Clive's route was already breaking me because, as I said, Kay's my fave so there I was making sure not to bond with him too much so that I could get Clive's route. That coupled with The Plot Twist™ of Act 1 and basically I was already grieving with the start of this route. I say all this but truly I was already fond of Clive. He's just so incredibly, adorably, painfully earnest in all he does. It's hard not to love him even when he acting so obviously suspicious. And that sincerity in his interactions with Xani over the course of the route does help to lessen the sting of certain reveals. This route did answer some questions I had about Kay's route but it also raised so many more??? Like seriously as this route went on I was half ready to do a conspiracy board to try and piece things together. I enjoyed how this route dealt with identity and how you choose to see both yourself and others. And it was sooooo much fun interacting with Clive over the course of this route and seeing his funny and adorable reactions to Xani mixed in with how achingly sweet he was at times. And it all made the drama of the latter part of the route all the more better! Once again, shout out for the VA work because Clive's VA did a great job selling how awkward and sweet this guy truly is. Great first impression with the hiding behind the tree scene and the adorableness of the scene at the end of Branch 1. So while for Kay I preferred his Branch 2 ending (I did say that it was the Branch 2 ending I loved more for him right? The one with the party? bleh my memory is bad sometimes but yeah that's my fave of the two for Kay) in Clive's case my preferred ending for him in the Branch 1 ending. Mainly for the heart melting sweetness and partially because I couldn't bear having poor Xani deal with a certain consequence of Branch 2's ending.

Now we got my precious baby Shannon!

This book wasn't big in terms of spooks but it dealt with other kinds of fears that still chilled me to the bone. I adored how this route handled paranoia and how much do you truly understand/try to understand the people in your life. I was already attached to Shannon in the common route so finally getting to play her route was great (plus I'm a sucker for childhood friend romances)! Shannon's bubbly energy and A+ friendship was so adorable (everyone deserves to have an incredible friend like Shannon) and precious but my truly favorite scenes were the ones where she tried to open up more about what she was going through. I felt her frustration and loneliness whenever Xani wouldn't let her in (completely understandable why Xani would but I also totally felt why it hurt Shannon so much). Shannon's VA completely sold me on her adorable bubbly self and also completely sold me during the scenes where she let out emotions other than "I'm happy bubbly Shannon". A certain yelling scene after a certain other character's role in everything was revealed comes to mind most. Can I just say that gigantic WTF moment (the "memory" one for the sake of being as spoiler free as possible) nearly fried my brain? Like I was right there with Xani wondering what the hell was going on here and how that happened. Didn't get a conspiracy board but I did actually start taking a shit ton of notes in a spare notebook I have trying to piece together everything going on and all the questions I have! Also screw Dustin, all my homies hate Dustin >:( But it was fun to meet Charlie and Choi (will we see more of them later on? they were so fun it'd be a shame if we didn't). For Shannon it was actually a really close call between Branch 1 and Branch 2 for my favorite ending because each branch had something I loved so much in terms of romance, friendship and pure drama. But the Branch 2 ending just managed to win between the two because I liked that drama more and also that dance scene was too precious for words! Also the after credits scene of Branch 2 killed me with cuteness!

And last but note least, my actual mom Lana!

When I looked at the walkthrough for Lana's route and saw there seemed to be fewer choices than for the other routes I was worried that would mean her route would just be shorter. But nope, you put my fears to rest when I saw what you did with Act 3! I'm really glad you made that choice for Act 3, because it answered so many questions about the precious acts in her route but also gave a great insight into Lana's mindset! May be sounding like a broken record here but Lana's VA also did a wonderful job here, giving Lana such a caring and soothing voice. Like that finale scene between her and Xani was beautiful and made me melt into a puddle from how much love I could feel in Lana's words! I enjoyed this route's take on trust and the past, how much of it do we hold onto and how much do we need to let go of in order to move forward and heal. This route also revealed a couple somethings that I had been guessing early on and was so excited to have confirmed (namely the identity of a certain someone Lana knows and what said someone's name is). The dream sequences in this route were sooo cool and trippy and makes me want more and more because I need answers! I need all the answers!!! I adored seeing Xani and Lana interact with each other, seeing them reignite that closeness from their past while Xani also has to battle between sincere love for Lana and the mess of emotions coming from all the shit that happens over the route. Lana only has the one good end though I loved how you had variations in there via having the other three be potential love interests and also a certain other variation. It really was fun to try them all out (especially since I super curious how you were gonna pull of one particular variation considering said character's unique position at this point in the game)! Also can I say Lana was incredible in both how hard she tries and truly is a wonderful guardian for Xani and also in how she deals with the grief and despair of past tragedies and also the nonsense of general adult life. Personally I'm closer to Lana's age than the rest of the cast's ages so I ended up really connecting with many of her struggles since they mirror so many of my own.

Last one, I promise!!!

Anyways yeah those are my scrambled thoughts after playing the routes. I'm over here basically vibrating intensely because I cannot wait for Book 3 and the final book to be released. I'm getting closer and closer to upgrading my notebook to a full blown conspiracy board 😂 But seriously, I have so many questions and all the hints and teases you put throughout these routes has my brain going into overdrive trying to figure it all out. Because I noticed certain things and was glad the game was like "yeah isn't this off?" but there was other stuff pointed out to me that I didn't even realize (the dates…THE DATES). Also Xani is such a wonderful MC, my love and light. Both female Xani and male Xani have such adorable designs and their VAs did great when it came to bringing them to life in both sweet moments and in the harsher moments (also loved seeing the different reactions the other characters would have based on Xani's gender it was so cool you added those variations in dialogue). Anyways you have done such a good job on the writing on this game and please pass along my admiration and love to the artists who made the incredible images, the composers and singers and all the music folks who made some absolutely amazing tracks that were perfect for the scenes, and also to all the fantastic VAs who brought these characters to life! Love the game and am eagerly awaiting the next part!!!

[androjello]

so many thoughts about hosab

1. the hind/lidia is now in the top 3 of my favorite characters (#1 is jesiba for being a hot magic lady who does whatever she wants #2 is ruhn). like we don't get much of her really but she's so interesting and I need an entire book of just her life story

2. danika was a shit best friend. like the stuff from hoeab i could excuse because it was dangerous to bryce and wasn't like "these secrets would shatter our whole society" level. and I could get not telling bryce about her research and the asteri stuff, because again dangerous. but not telling bryce about her dad? when bryce trusted her with the secret of who her dad is? and for....no real reason? like it wasn't politically shocking like with bryce so wtf. and not telling her about baxian like sure yeah bryce thought/thinks he's a monster but I feel like she would have been fine with it eventually bc bryce loved danika so much. not even touching on the whole danika said she only ever told bryce i love you thing. and then also not telling her she was a bloodhound like bryce trusted danika with knowing she was starborn and danika doesn't even mention her special gift that other people already know about, ok cool. it's really her dad and bloodhound gift that gets me because why were those such huge secrets for danika.

3. can sjm please just tell us what fury's deal is. the whole "fury is super scary to everybody but nobody knows why and knows all these things but nobody knows how" is getting really old. I like fury's character because I like the whole super badass assassin thing but we're beating a dead horse here. either explain or stop hinting at some big reveal.

4. I don't like what happened with tharion. I get why but I don't see what his plot line can do now. I'm sure it'll make a lot more sense in the next book but I just didn't connect with his character enough to like...really care. his whole interaction with the viper queen was way too rushed to really be impactful, in my opinion

5. celestina is interesting and I like her a lot (and love her and hypaxia's tragic love <3). I'm curious about her motives. I don't think she's bad for selling out hunt because what if she really had no choice? all we get is rigelus telling them what she did but I feel like we don't truly know the relationship between the asteri and archangels to judge her accurately. I feel like she had a good reason and genuinely is against the asteri and is just in a hard place. I also like her being somewhat of an antagonist because she has layers and isn't just like a complete and utter asshole like micah and the asteri. complex villians/antagonists are the best ones. I'm excited to see how her character develops and see more of her (and hypaxia <3)

6. what was the point of juniper's plot and bryce messing up? just to have that voicemail for rigelus to hear? just to show bryce using her title? bc if it was for those it was totally unnecessary. bryce could have called her mom and left a similar voicemail and she used her title to meet celestina sooooo...I thought that would resolve and show why it was important at some point so I hope next book it does?? and I hope it isn't another "you did something really shitty but I love you so I'm gonna forgive you and act like it never happened without actually talking about it and working through it" like with fury abandoning bryce and her and June dating and not telling her (still mad bryce didn't like. have any issues with those things past being initially mad. also why does nobody tell bryce anything???)

7. I'm so curious to see how this is all gonna be fixed bc seems to me hunt and ruhn are totally fucked but I'm sure it'll make sense once we get there. though I'm more interested to see how much of book 3 is hunt & ruhn being captured, like how early in the book (or how late) that whole situation gets resolved. very excited for lidia & ruhn's relationship to develop and the angst I'm sure will come with him being captured.

8. I haven't read acotar so I need to now bc I was like who are these people, but I'm curious about how the whole merge will play out in that series. like will the next acotar book be after or before bryce showing up?

[deuce-duce]

Am I...?? (Inwardly GASPS)!! Which Part...??

Today is March 2nd 2021 and I got my puter back and went to look at what I had last written on December 16th 2020. When I opened the file, it had been changed… dates had been obscured and certain things had been reworded… So… I have decided to go back through all of my previous posts to ensure the integrity of what I am writing stays that way! During this process I will be putting together a collection of my favorite quotes and post fragments. Which I will dub Rock and Roll’s Greatest Hits, if you live near me go buy airhorns Ill tell you why, When the greatest hits album comes out. What your about to read is primarily from Dec. 16th with a few changes or should I say… restorations?? Probably a little of both to be honest. Everything is still as it happened, I just add better descriptive words and fine tune the analogies so that they are easier to digest… My English teacher always told me that was what I was good at! Along with many others… who have said the same… not only do I understand it… I’m able to explain it in a way that others understand as well. ENJOY

On the seventh of December I woke up not too sure if something had occurred that night or not… as I have mentioned before they use a numbing agent that basically masks the pain until it wears off approximately 12 hours later… When I a woke on this day I was having moments of clarity and for some reason just couldn’t keep them to myself. talking to one of the staff members of the homeless shelter I expressed my destiny that I actually had one, that was going to bring me to greatness… then out of nowhere I just blurted out there is going to be a power shift!!!! And at that very moment I couldn’t believe what it was that had just come out of my mouth. I didn’t even believe it at first because the guy at the desk was like IDK… about… that… but when I went back into my room, the look on my roommate’s face said it all!! It seems as though those who pull strings and orchestrate a lot of this… put all of their eggs into one basket. I don’t know exactly what the terms of thee bet were but I’m assuming it had/has something to do with me not being able to control my compulsivity associated with my dissociation. Unfortunately for them I made a deal with God. It was while I was on quarantine and even though I was in a basement all by myself people kept F$%^&*!> with me. This is when I prayed stating that I would not falter, for my body his temple his craft and his glory. that I need to take care of myself and my destiny, for it is in his hands and I won’t let my selfishness or imperfections stop him from fulfilling his plan. Over and over again I have cried and cried about how fundamental and powerful this is all going to be. EFFIN CRAZY!! And now that I know without anyone telling me and it literally being given to me somehow is what is freaking everybody out. How do I know or how the hell did I figure it out!! I really couldn’t tell you and the only thing that is possible is that our Creator endowed me with such responsibility. Crazy!! (this was before I considered the probability of God being a woman, A mother, A Lover)

Low and behold one of my favorite artists Mr. Kid, Maniac, Rager, Wizard, Pursuer of Happiness Cudi dropped a new album entitled Man on the MOON Three. Ill have to say it’s a wonderfully made album! The album delves deep into who Scott is… I know the Fans are going to love it.

Rewind a little bit sorry for my hiatus just needed to stay focused and well as your aware have been led here not by accident and had some things that I needed to take care of before I started writing again. Not to mention I have been dealing with a lot only to know that I am who I am for a reason Rockstar Knights off MOTM3 has a lot to say concerning who I am and what I have realized as a result to my struggle. The Song is a collab with Trippie Redd and really encapsulates so much, that its hard to describe in words.

I had a very interesting conversation with my mother the other day and came to a pretty profound thought. 1st I was telling her how I was being told that I am too….!!! Smart!! Like WTF!! REALLY!! Is that even a thing?? But I didn’t let it get to me too much as it probably is the reason I face so much adversity, No matter the community I enter into. This is how I have explained it to her and a couple other people in the community as well as the Rasta Man in the PNW. The best analogy I could present is if a plant with a fire burning so big and so hot on one side of the plant, a fire so big and hot that it probably would kill most other plants, but not this plant. This plant had sooooo much drive and will to live that instead of giving up it grew in the opposite direction of the blaze. While the roots could withstand the blazing inferno becoming one with the heat and pain Upon the journey away from the fire (society) the plant developed different characteristics colors and attributes that no other plant had. Essentially that journey completely changed that plants physiology Psychology and possible its genetic makeup altogether. Now that the plant has grown so far from the fire (Society) that its all alone. Now theres a different kind of fire where he once thought was safe. But as he grows back towards the fire to escape the new blaze (tyranny) he realizes he will never be able to be the same as the fire he grew so far away from. Now the only option the plant has with death being imminent is to grow as big and bright as quickly as possible before it is engulfed on all sides.

All this taken into account along with factoring in the two major belief structures in the world one Being Creation or Evolution (The Big BANG) this plant which has defied all odds still shines brightly displaying its colors and unique characteristics no matter how dark the room may be it still continues to bloom! Is this a Divine will and plan or are we experiencing the next step of Evolution??? My honest opinion is its both! For the mere ability to adapt and change and prevail in situations others couldn’t dream of or even have nightmares about is truly remarkable and in my eyes is an act of GOD! Just as any evolutionary step would be. The crazier part is… he has no handle!! Nothing to grab on to leaving no way for anyone to grab hold and control! AYE….

I thought this all might just be me being stubborn or simply an idiot until for some reason I opened up my meme App. Something I never open or even look at and the first thing that popped up was a picture and quote saying that many told Marilyn Monroe that she was only beautiful because of the clothes and dresses she wore. It then concluded Marilyn Monroe did a photoshoot in nothing but a burlap potato sack. The photos and the message she sent were completely opposite of that which was being said by spectators. Now!! As scrolled to the second meme I was expecting something funny!! That wasn’t the case what I saw next was the upcoming alignment of the two largest planets in the solar system Jupiter and Saturn. Not only does their alignment happen only every 20 years but the proximity of this occurrence to the earth as well as the proximity to each other hasn’t been the same for close to 800 years… What does it all mean… IDK but The Christmas Star is what their calling the alignment and if your familiar with the bible is the star that the kings, from other lands followed  to bring gifts to baby JESUS! Who knows what this alignment could usher in.?

So profound thought comes to me on a daily basis now it’s so strange the way that it comes it will just be momentary thoughts that will pass through my conscience and as they go by I latch on to it delve a little deeper and experience an overwhelming amount of… IDK what to call it but it feels very powerful so much so that it brings me to tears… I don’t know exactly what the future holds but I think that is what makes this so great! I just keep my mind open Like apple IOS Systems letting everything come and go as it pleases when something goes by that strikes me, I latch on and don’t let go. Its weird how it all happens.

Steve Jobs once said that if he had never had an acid trip that he would have never of come up with the operating system for Apple and after explaining to you what I do as a spiritual and destiny seeking process I believe was his thought process as well. This in of itself is what I think they mean when they say to keep an open mind. Just so you know I didn’t come up with that little bit about the late Mr. Jobs by plan it just came to me when thinking about how to have, use and keep an open mind.

The reason I explained this to you was because this is how I Pray! After I pray I sit still with an open mind allowing multiple ideas thoughts and perspectives to pass through my brain… until like an IOS operating system, something speaks to me… when I latch on to it, focus on what it means and what it will mean… “I Get Those Goosebumps Everytime” (Goosebumps, Travis Scott, feat. Kendrick Lamar, Birds in the Trap Sing Mcknight, 2016). This is how you know! A little extra for ya, when I went to look up the info for my first Hip Hop citation it was 11:11 lol there they go again… its really a cool feeling!

Can someone tell me if that APA or MLA…?? Ya know what!! Eff IT!! None of my writing is orthodox, besides I kinda like the way I did it haha

Kid Cudi’s new video just dropped and I couldn’t be more amazed with all of the hidden messages that are in there. He is officially the man on the moon. Passion pain and demon slaying like a maniac on the pursuit of happiness. Love that DUDE!!

That’s all I got for 12-16-2020 Five More Days…

LOVE & PEACE

Songs

Heaven On Earth – Kid Cudi

Goosebumps – Travis Scott, feat. Kendrick Lamar

Dirty Heads – Sound Of Change

 Just so you know the only thing I added this time other the cleaning up what I had already written was the praying part. Although I originally remember that being the purpose as to why I wrote what I did looking at it today March 2nd 2021 it wasn’t there… have a great day everyone. Ill post this on 3/3/2021

I've added parts to the story on my business cards and will leave then random places, what you do with them is up to you but I think It would be cool for those who want to stop me to have to work extra hard just like they make me!!  

LOVE

[asherlockstudy]

Well, the Valonqar prophecy was fulfilled though

Poor me trying to explain all the fuckery that was Jaime’s scenes

Hear me out. But before you do, disclaimer! everything I will say here is 99% the result of shitty writing that incidentally can be read as something “more”. Believe me, I have no faith in the next episode. In fact, I am kind of...jolly because the treatment of most characters was so bad I ended up finding it entertaining. However, there are some things regarding Jaime’s scenes that I couldn’t avoid considering so I’m going to write them down even if it’s for nothing. Which it almost certainly is. 

Sooooo...the worst case scenario was the real one as it usually happens in this shitty world. Jaime Lannister bids his farewell to his character arc of 7,5 seasons and rides back to King’s Landing to die with Cersei. 

There are some curious nuances to that general assumption here, one of them being that the way Jaime essentially breaks up with Brienne in the previous episode was so ambiguous that half the viewers, even some who didn’t care for the relationship of these two, were convinced Jaime was planning to kill Cersei and didn’t want Brienne to follow.Then again, this ambiguity might have been intentional by our brilliant writers - who will Jaime choose in the end?

So let’s talk about the last encounter of the Lannister brothers. Let me tell you, A LOT of weird things happen in that scene. 

First: According to the Unsullied, Daenerys was not the one who commanded them to guard Jaime. Someone else that we never got to know gave the order and Tyrion makes the mistake to not ask their identity. When Tyrion asks “was it the Queen”, the soldier laconically answers “No” and I wonder if there’s some certain weight hiding in that withdrawn piece of information. The Unsullied could have simply said “Greyworm’s orders” or something like that. Hmmm. Then again, it could be that D&D felt they were giving Tyrion a clever line about outranking there (lol). Or, if we are very, very, very hopeful, someone that outranks Tyrion in ways we don’t yet know wanted Jaime guarded out of Tyrion’s reach. And that someone wasn’t Daenerys. 

Second: Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised by now but in the very first seconds we have another proof that Jaime is stupid™. He just decided to walk around or through Dany’s camp flashing the gold hand left and right. When Tyrion asks him why on earth he didn’t hide it, Jaime, also somewhat laconically, says it was because he was stupid. In the last season, we saw that Jaime had the common sense to hide his hand before heading for the North. So, is Jaime’s low IQ dropped even more here, reaching abysmal depths, or did he think he shouldn’t have anything to fear if he walked through Dany and Jon’s lines as Jaime Lannister? 

Third: Well, watch the scene. Jaime is actually not only fed up with the whole chaos but he’s also reluctant to help Cersei, at least in the way Tyrion instructs him to. Look at their dialogue: 

Tyrion: You’re going to her. To die with her.

Jaime: You’ve underestimated her before.  (Soooo he was going there to live with her? In the middle of that utter destruction? It seems Jaime believed Sansa’s words about Cersei’s victory more than Tyrion’s. Jaime deflects Tyrion’s observation here.)

Tyrion: She’s going to die. Unless you can convince her to change her course of action. 

 Jaime: Difficult to do from here. (Excuse)

Tyrion shows the key to his chains.

Jaime: Ooooh, when have I ever been able to convince Cersei of anything? (Is it me or is he actually fighting it?!)

Tyrion: Try. If not for yourself, if not for her, then for everyone of the million people in that city, innocent or otherwise. (Tyrion knows all the things that motivated Jaime once.)

Jaime: To be honest, I never really cared much for them. Innocent or otherwise. (There, fellows, you heard it. Jaime Lannister just said he doesn’t care for the innocents. Whom he decided to protect from a mad king 20 years ago and from 100000 zombies a few days ago. I promised to fight for the living, he said. With. one. hand. Either D&D are fucking delusional or Jaime is really fighting against his brother’s proposition to help their sister. To the point of “fuck everything”.) 

Tyrion (a little taken aback): You do care for an innocent. I know you do. So does Cersei. She has a reason now. 

Jaime (after a little consideration): The child is the reason she’ll never give an inch. All the worst things she’s ever done, she’s done for her children...... It’s not impossible that she’ll win. (LOL “fuck everything including my kids... shit I overdid it here...let’s go back to the first argument because I have nothing else to say”)

Tyrion: She won’t. 

Jaime: Her enemies’ forces have been depleted as she said they would be. Two of the three dragons are dead. She’s evened the odds - 

Tyrion: The city will fall tomorrow - 

Jaime: ...she has the Lannister army, she has the gold- (”pls let me recite all the reasons why I should not help her”)

Tyrion: I defended the city the last time it was attacked, I know it better than anyone, it will fall tomorrow!

Jaime: Then I suppose I’ll die tomorrow, if not before! (”CAN YOU JUST LET ME DIE HERE IN PEACE?”) 

Tyrion: Why?! (”WTF ‘S WRONG WITH YOU?”) Escape. The two of you together. Remember where we met, where they keep the dragon skulls beneath the Red Keep (let’s not start with the dragons out of stone again), take her down there, keep following the stairway down down as far as they’ll go, you’ll come out onto a beach at the foot of the Keep but a dinghy will be waiting for you. Sail out of the bay, if the winds are kind, you’ll make it to Pentos. Start a new life. 

Jaime (weakly but sarcastically): Sail right past the Iron Fleet and into a new life...sounds a lot less likely than Cersei winning this - (Hey, you got to give it to this man, he’s still trying)

Tyrion: There won’t be an Iron Fleet for much longer! Do it! If you don’t, you’ll never see Cersei again!

Tyrion: Swear to me!

Jaime: YOU HAVE MY WORD!!!!

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Jaime just needs to give his word to someone. 

I won’t try to sugarcoat it and claim Jaime gave zero shit for Cersei but I think the reason he eventually complied was because he saw how much Tyrion wanted it. He decided to do it for Tyrion, first and foremost. Jaime only starts considering Tyrion’s proposal when his brother suggests that if he takes his pregnant sister far away from the capital, he might have a chance at a new life with a child and a hopefully mellower Cersei. Still, he tries to refuse but then it’s honestly Tyrion who forces him to care again for Cersei and also technically demands him to remember his duty as a Knight. In a way, Tyrion creates a dreamy image of Jaime making a healthy family with a sane Cersei and Jaime uneagerly succumbs to it. Again, in a way, Tyrion takes the role of the small devil in Jaime’s mind, even though he has good intentions for his sibling. 

I have many questions here. I don’t understand why Jaime decided to return (or, rather, teleport) there. He didn’t seem to have a plan or to be seriously determined to get back to Cersei. I wonder if what some fans said is true - Jaime returned because he felt he deserved to die as much as the rest of the Lannisters, without intending to help them. Why is Jaime so reluctant to follow Tyrion’s helpful plan and save Cersei and their child, if this was supposedly the reason he left Brienne? So many things don’t add up here. We have many scenes lately where Jaime looks like he has an inner fight that none of us or the other characters can truly decipher.  However, it might be something we’ve seen before - Jaime gives up easily. The moment he was captured, he thought everything was pointless and embraced the possibility of death. Like when his hand was cut and was starving himself, willing to die until Brienne talked him out of it. The other possibility is that he didn’t trust Tyrion and thought he was probably testing his allegiances but first, if he said Cersei was going to win, Dany would be mad anyway and second, Jaime is too naive to consider that his brother might set a trap for him, which is right actually. Tyrion wouldn’t do this to Jaime. The last possibility is that Jaime had a bad premonition for this and he didn’t want to do it. Whatever the reason was, Jaime originally felt he shouldn’t do it but was essentially forced to do it out of honour, duty, love for his brother and a teensy glimpse of planted hope that he and Cersei might actually have had a chance to leave the past behind. 

But I do think he’s conflicted. 

That’s the last we see of Jaime before he truly descends into his character assassination. To me, this shot shows that he is really conflicted. He doesn’t want to do what Tyrion asked him to do. But he is going to do it all the same. I don’t know why he is so negative towards it? Is it him having different plans? Different beliefs on what his and Cersei’s fate should be? Or is it instict? Instict isn’t a satisfactory answer either because he was already prepared to die and I’m quite confident that deep inside Jaime knew Tyrion was right about Cersei losing that war and dying. 

The stupidity starts when Jaime meets Euron. Euron’s like hey let’s fight for no reason and Jaime’s like got a job to do but then Euron tells him come on kill another king or if I kill you, I’ll give your head to Cersei and you can kiss her one last time so that’s the last straw for Jaime and he engages in a one handed fight he should have lost. I think this simply is terrible ridiculous writing. The screenwriters felt they were massacring Jaime’s character which is why they had Tyrion exclaim how important Jaime was for him (I can accept that) and have him take out a bad guy before he goes for the lame suicide. Of course the last one was simply a piece of crap and felt forced and unnecessary. Cripple Jaime takes a sword in the kidneys like twice, then kills Euron and then probably ascends a staircase of like 1000 steps to reach the Red Keep and then also descends them and dies from rocks instead. LMAO at that. Was it the power of love? Was the Gold Lion that Jaime always was? Was it the shittiest writing in history of a TV show? Well. I find suspicious that Euron keeps repeating Jaime managed to kill a second king though. Here’s a guess - Jaime is supposed to take another king or queen down in the books but the screenwriters had to adjust the writing for the surprise!!!! So we got that caricature of Euron, self- proclaimed a king, to die by Jaime. They could use a little kid instead with a label reading KING on his forehead. Another weird thing: “I killed Jaime Lannister!”. I wonder if this has any meaning at all because eventually Jaime commits suicide with a rock and THAT’S what happened. A sword in the kidneys? Twice? Such superficial scratches don’t get to the mighty Jaime Lannister. And I wish this was the only fuckery in this scene:

Jaime does not have Window’s Wail. He carries a plain sword. 

Definitely not this one. The plot thickens, wouldn’t you agree? I don’t know how much I can hypothesize here but if this is Jaime Jaime (honestly, I start doubting it for real) then JAIME DID NOT TAKE HIS TWIN SWORD HE HAD WITH BRIENNE IN HIS MISSION TO SAVE CERSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something is seriously weird here. We have a pointless scene between Jaime and Euron. In this pointless scene Jaime doesn’t use his own sword (which is also connected to Brienne) and Euron says “I am the man who killed Jaime Lannister” and yet Jaime is capable of walking thousands of steps up and down and then he dies because of a completely different cause. How long would he stay alive if he didn’t die from the Red Keep’s collapse? Why was this scene needed? Is it just THAT bad writing and the need to atone for what is about to follow? Did D&D feel he needed to atone for what he was about to do?

Here’s an unpopular opinion. I don’t think Jaime needs to atone for anything. Do I like the choice he made in the end? No. Do I like the way he chose to die in the end? No. However, bear with me, D&D and Nik are right when they say that ending felt real to the character, even if he didn’t deserve it. We all expected Jaime to kill Cersei for all the abuse she did to him and all the evil she was responsible for but this ending had me thinking; since when does Jaime kill people out of spite or to take revenge or to punish? Has Jaime ever shown signs of violent fury, even if it’s justified? If I remember correctly, Jaime explicitly said he wasn’t interested in taking revenge from Locke for maiming him, although even Brienne thought this would be an understandable desire. Jaime kept protecting the people, innocent or otherwise, even though they ‘ve been loathing him for decades for saving them from the Mad King. Most of the crimes he has committed were for love (healthy or not) or protectivity or by mistake. I don’t want to include the murder of his cousin here because THIS was the most out of character thing Jaime has done and I’m willing to bet D&D wanted to make his redemption arc that started shortly after more SurPriSiNg.

So it doesn’t weird me out that as he was dying he couldn’t hold anything against his toxic sister anymore. Neither does it annoy me that Cersei was terrified and most of her arrogance had left her at that Day of Reckoning. Why did this make people so mad? It’s delusional to think that Cersei was the Big Villain. She never had anything on Joffrey or Ramsey or (book) Euron or Aerys or his nice daughter. She was a horrible woman who deserved to die, that’s for sure, but this doesn’t mean she wouldn’t want a close person back to her as they were about to die or that she wouldn’t realise before the end that some things should have mattered to her more than power. 

When Jaime meets her again, there’s no fight left inside him. He’s the old Jaime again, the one who loves her unconditionally, unlike the one we saw with Tyrion. I wonder if this has an emotional or a symbolic meaning or perhaps I am thinking too deep into this. It could be explained emotionally because Jaime knows they are both going to die and it’s pointless to oppose to her at this point. She dies, the child dies, he dies. What would be the point of choking her to death when they can die as lovers or as siblings (awkward) embracing each other. Fans forget that they had found themselves in a position where previous fights and hate did not matter anymore since they would definitely die anyway. It’s a parallel with the fight between the Hound and the Mountain who pointlessly decided to kill each other although they would 99% die anyway. The Hound and Jaime follow parallel paths in this case - they could have never returned. They could have left hate and desire for vengence or the toxic love behind and they would have lived. They both get punished for being unable to leave the past behind even in an hour like that - Hound is punished by having the death he dreaded and Jaime is punished by having all his prospects buried along with himself and the love he supposedly couldn’t shake off. There is a huge difference though - the Hound is consistent throughout his whole life about wanting revenge from his brother whereas Jaime falters and fumbles, tries to resist and it is ultimately Tyrion who convinces him to return back to Cersei irreversibly. Jaime holds Cersei tenderly, delays and then leads her beneath the Red Keep. 

Why was Arya there? What was the point of having her reach King’s Landing and enter the Red Keep only to live and survive? Maybe the point was that Cersei, who always desired to survive, if not for herself then for the elephant baby she was apparently gestating for like 2 years, might have had a chance to escape. Sure, she ‘s portrayed to be lost and helpless and as the Red Keep collapses around her, she has lost her quick thinking unlike Arya. However, there was still a chance like there was a chance for the Hound and the Mountain if they hadn’t chosen to kill each other instead. There was a small possibility for Cersei to survive. Tyrion and Jaime took that chance from her. Tyrion had the idea and Jaime executed it. Both her little brothers sealed her death. 

The prophecy was fulfilled and I am sure it was going to follow a similar path in the books. GRRM has said that prophecies are not to be trusted but I think it’s obvious he wouldn’t spend so much time in them if none of it was going to be proven right. The thing is, the prophecies will come true in ways we don’t expect. We were searching for the valonqar but there were two people in Cersei’s life who could fit that role and both had a part in the fulfillment of the prophecy, a part that felt very real for each character. Tyrion, as the clever -er Lannister, is the “mastermind” behind the plan. He tries to compensate for his stupidity upon realising that he tried to fight the evil in King’s Landing by bringing an even bigger one. Filled with guilt, he tries to atone by helping the family he had turned against, even if the family was problematic. He sends Jaime to her rescue, thinking that he helps his loving brother and his innocent child and that he asks forgiveness from his sister for destroying the entire city because of their personal vendetta. (Because whatever was wrong between the two siblings, it should not fall on the people’s heads.) On the other hand, Jaime “the soldier” is the executioner who second-guesses what he’s about to do but he does it as a Knight, out of duty for his family. He outdoes himself in order to find her and lead her to the dungeons of the Red Keep, where there’s no way out.

And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you.

That happened. Cersei is desperate, truly drowned in her tears, begging Jaime to save her, supposedly for the child. Jaime looks around a bit and easily embraces their fate. He holds her there in place while she cries she wants the child to live. Jaime wraps his fingers around her neck tenderly and essentially bares her from that last reason for her to survive and tells her that nothing matters but them (who supposedly have no reason or worth to stay alive but should leave this world together instead). This is confusing -  does Jaime truly throws everything else that meant something to him in the dumpster or does he want to make Cersei’s death as sweet as possible? Trying to convince her that she shouldn’t worry about all the reasons why she should live but instead think that she dies like they always said they would - with him, together. I know many people didn’t like how good Cersei’s death was but it wasn’t a good death in my opinion - better than fire but still scary and tragic as hell. Cersei keeps lamenting “Not like this, not like this, not like this” which means she hated the way she was about to die. True enough, she dies from the castle that was the symbol of the power she yearned for so much, while a young and beautiful queen takes everything she loved from her: her crown, the child, herself and, well, her brother who she did not love healthily or selflessly but, still, loved more than anyone else besides her children, I guess. Furthermore, Cersei always wanted to die on her own terms, an opportunity that was also taken from her. She’s pregnant, so she doesn’t want to die by drinking poison and leaving this world with her pride intact. Furthermore, she is not the one who handles the situation. She becomes the follower for once in her life, trusting in Jaime who would always protect her, only to be led by him to her certain and unavoidable death. Jaime himself is the one who demands of her to accept the truth and face death. 

Of couse he dies too. I guess. This ending leaves me baffled in the sense that the Lannister brothers’ fate is now too interwined. Cersei’s death reminds me of Tywin’s - Tyrion kills Tywin because Jaime allowed it to happen in a way and now Jaime kills Cersei because Tyrion convinced him to lead her down there. At this point, both the brothers have fulfilled all the criteria for the prophecies of Azor Ahai and the Valonqar, but the one is dead and the other doesn’t strike me as a fighter sent from a god. Of course, like people and leaks say 1385 times per day, the prophecies don’t matter much, especially in the show but I just...can’t unsee it. The Valonqar was definitely fulfilled. I suspect the Three Headed Dragon one rings true too in some ways, regarding Dany, Jon and the dragons. And if somehow Jaime survives this collapse, or doesn’t, it doesn’t matter, he could be resurrected by the Lord of Light like Jon was after around 30 swords in his guts, then he won’t just survive just to be a humble worn dude living peacefully (with Brienne). If Jaime survives, that makes him Azor Ahai or makes him the King of Westeros or both. So either we’ll get nothing or everything. 

Long story short, while Jaime’s storyline has unbelievably many loose threads and I don’t hate it. I’ve decided I won’t hate him even if that was the last we saw of him. Jaime didn’t reunite with Cersei as a lover either, they reunited as twin siblings. This is my very subjective perception of it but I like to think that the baby doesn’t matter to Jaime anymore because that nature of his relationship with Cersei doesn’t matter to him anymore. But she’s still family and he still had dedicated 40 years of his life to her. He was never very clever and he has always been self-destructive and, worse, he always needed someone to urge him towards a certain direction. I want to emphasize this, which is also why I always expected certain big things from Jaime; although Jaime has a good understanding of the world and what’s right, he rarely, if ever, takes the initiative to do something on his own. He’s usually pushed by others, Cersei, Brienne, Tyrion towards a direction. This is why I always thought Jaime was guided by his destiny like there’s an invisible hand pushing him without him realising it. I’ve noticed a pretty consistent pattern about Jaime - he does not respond in critical questions that start with “Why”. 

Jaime eventually tells Catelyn he pushed Bran out of the window. She asks him why and he never responds. However, he later tells her he sleeps with Cersei so this wasn’t the reason he didn’t respond. 

Brienne asks him why he saved her from Bolton’s men. He never responds. You could argue that he starts developing feelings and can’t process them yet but this actually was the equivalent of his book “I dreamt of you” explanation after the Bear Pit. So, it was like destiny was showing him the way without him realising it. 

As we saw, Tyrion asks Jaime why he finds so many excuses against following his plan to save Cersei and himself. Jaime never responds. It’s as if this goes against his destiny and he tries to avoid it but then destiny meets him anyway beneath the Red Keep. Jaime embraces his and Cersei’s death far too easily.

And since I spoke of “unbelievably many loose threads” let me make a summary of Jaime in the 8th season for the end. 

Bran sees Jaime is heading for Winterfell and waits for him throughout the cold winter night. He doesn’t seem to have a precise picture of when exactly Jaime will arrive and he prefers to stay out there than be the one to tell the truth to Jon about his heritage. In short, Bran waits for Jaime and has an assistant to do what very soon will unleash hell in the entirety of Westeros. Jaime is vindicated in his trial or, at least, tolerated. Bran watches the trial intently and then he also watches intently Jaime looking at Brienne. Jaime apologizes to Bran which Bran almost dismisses as something he did to protect his family. Jaime however says he’s not that man anymore. He asks Bran why he didn’t blame him in the trial and Bran insinuates Jaime will prove very helpful soon (supposedly in the Long Night). Jaime asks what will happen afterwards and Bran looks (for like the first time ever) intrigued and entertained at Jaime’s certainity that he will survive. Jaime spends the rest of the days fanboying over Brienne, expressing his gratitude, knighting her and asking to fight under her command. In the battle of Winterfell, both care to save each other more than to save themselves. Sam has an inexplicable moment of pause during the battle, where he sees through the fire Jaime fighting like crazy with something that looks suspiciously like a functioning right hand. Jaime and Brienne survive the battle and Tyrion coarsely helps Jaime find the moment to get closer with her. After an awkward as hell conversation on heat, fire and wood and things growing on them, they sleep together. Meanwhile, Tyrion and Davos wonder what’s become of the Lord of Light. Jaime is later seen having an inner fight. Jaime then asks from Sansa to not take part in the war (!!!) because he prefers to stay in the ugly North with Brienne. As he’s drinking with Tyrion, Bronn somehow barges in demanding a negotiation to not kill them. As Tyrion is the cleverer and most manipulative of the two, Bronn makes clear that Jaime is the best candidate for his next murder. He agrees to let them live if Daenerys wins. Bronn then literally vanishes. Soon after, Jaime is seen roaming around a little aimlessly and Brienne and Sansa inform him Cersei is winning. The same night, after he sleeps with Brienne one last time, we see Jaime stare into the fire and eventually making the decision to leave. When Brienne wakes up, he tells her he shouldn’t be there when everyone else fights. Brienne is the one who jumps immediately to the conclusion that he’ll die trying to save Cersei. Then Jaime strokes her hand and proceeds to recite all the bad things he has done for Cersei (one being a downright lie) and leaves her heartbroken by saying he’s a hateful man. Then we see Jaime suddenly a prisoner of Daenerys. It seems Jaime was walking freely through her camp without doing much to hide his identity. He’s captured and guarded according to the commands of someone we don’t know. Jaime finds numerous excuses to avoid what Tyrion asks him to do and seems to believe Cersei is going to win instead of Daenerys. Tyrion has trouble finding arguments to persuade him and Jaime says some things that don’t make sense based on his character. Tyrion begs him to swear he will do it and Jaime finally complies. They say goodbye. Jaime’s left alone in a way that shows he still doesn’t want to do it. Next thing we see Jaime’s dumbass methods to be allowed in the Red Keep, which of course all fail. He then tries to go through the beach where Euron meets him and forces him into a fight. Jaime does not carry Window’s Wail. He kills Euron and is mortally wounded, leaving Euron happy that he killed Jaime Lannister. Despite that, Jaime ‘kinda’ forgets he’s mortally wounded and walks up and down who knows how many hundreds of steps. He finds Cersei and he’s suddenly full of love and affection all over again. He leads her down to the dragon skulls where there’s no exit anymore. He tells her nothing else ever mattered but them and holds her in place as the Red Keep collapses on their heads. The end.

Make of this what you will. Is it a mix of beautiful and terrible writing? Is it only terrible writing? Is there something we’re missing? Is there going to be a fantastic plot twist that will blow our minds? What would make sense to you at this point, after everything that happens to him in S8?

[photosyntheticfox]

My stupid thought process

Nadia’s route from a political standpoint

It’s the last update was wft for me (because I really don’t like vore and cannibalism. Ugh, I could really live without that in my happy ending.) I was NOT expecting that in the upright ending. And reverse very WTF Nadia!

Then I started thinking about the reasons why Nadia kill (or banish) Lucio….

Lucio still has a legitimate claim to be the Count.

He was named by the previous count as Heir. (Though that may or may not have involved a demon deal, he has made more than one.) He could declare that Nadia tried to have him killed and he has gravely wounded had to go into hiding but now he’s here to free Vesuvia from her” tyrannical reign.” Lucio is charismatic, dramatic and he has no shame, Lucio if given enough time would try to take back Vesuvia. (Weirder things have happened with rulers in history. I can only think of this Honorius and  Some king that was assassinated on the shitter are the only ones that spring to mind)

She was already on trial for his death once. (Sure the mob found her not guilty but mobs tend to be fickle. England killed their king banned holidays decided that wasn’t fun and they wanted a king again brought the dead king’s son back starting the English Restoration.)  

Why would anyone side with a presumed dead count that suddenly reappeared?

Valerius was afraid of what a foreign ruler who didn’t know or care about  Vesuvian would do.  I think many Vesuvians have that fear. Lucio might now have been born in Vesuvia either but everyone knows him. Better the evil you know than the evil you don’t.(It’s a saying don’t kill me.)

A large portion severe actions of Valerius were the influence, but even then The Devil brings out the worst in people. Volta despite being a starving demon did feel remorse for what she did in her full demon form.

Valerius showed remorse to but he wasn’t a fully fledged demon.  In my opinion, he does have those small seeds of doubt and fear already, the devil just amplified them tenfold.

Nadia’s Reversed mindset

In the real world is sooooo many royals killed their family, friends, advisers and anyone else who they saw as a threat to their rule. It makes sense why the devs had Nadia act that way in the reversed route.

Nadia thinks she’s alone, she has to protect herself, her rule, her kingdom all on her own. Her court is filled with literal demons.  She believed her family undermined her and mocked her if you didn’t convince her otherwise she will see foes at every turn. Lucio had to be killed because he was as much of a threat to her as he was useless to her.

Even fearing the apprentice could turn against her. She needs power to survive, because she can’t see any other way to go through life. Nadia won’t rely on anyone, she believes they will let her down, mock her, turn on her. She sees treachery at every turn. She is paranoid and willing to do whatever it takes to survive.

Why banish Lucio in the upright route?

Partly to spite him? I think a small part of her hasn’t truly moved on from their toxic (They were not good for each other) marriage, she still holds him accountable for many of the misfortunes that have befallen the city. Which is why she gave him such a scathing banishment. She sees him as a nuisance, but not a threat. Nadia had made allies while he made enemies, he can his a scream that he is the rightful ruler but she knows she will win the hearts of the people by the time he even thought about amassing an army. 

In the real world, foreign born spouses often were not allowed to take the throne unless there was no other viable candidate.(Unless they were beloved by the nobility and the Country.)  I am well aware that gender roles are equal but the thing is Nadia is a from Prakra. She was asleep, Vesuvia was going to shit. Lucio was not a good leader he was cruel, fickle, selfish, and had no idea what he was doing, even when he wanted to fix things. (Which was why he married Nadia he wanted to be a power couple who fixed everything together.) Nadia and Lucio fought like cats and dogs during their joint reign. It stands to reason they didn’t do much for Vesuvia. Why would Vesuvia care about a leader they don’t know who? Who was born there? Someone who hasn’t done anything for them?   Nadia can fix Vesuvia, but she has to get rid of Lucio before he gets it in his head to start a civil war.

[australian-desi]

Qurbaan Hua ~ Episode 2: Of Flowers, Doctors and Evil Family Members

Helloooo, I totally didn’t abandon liveblogging this show because of my lack of ability to balance my life and also because I really could not make myself do it, but now I’ve finished 1 year of uni and I feel like I should be able to do this now, but I also have a habit of starting things and not following through with them so we shall see how this adds up. Now that this self depreciating rant is over, welcome back to Qurbaan Hua a show I am watching just for Karan Jotwani, his face, body, mind and spirit. Also because it’s been a while since I’ve watched an extremely toxic man and wonder how this one’s gonna outdo the rest???? I need a better hobby. 

Also I will be liveblogging this episode, and the last week, coz otherwise, it will take too long, but I will make posts here and there if something aggravates me enough. 

So anyway lets get this show on the road 

Just a quick recap for me and the rest, we left off at the girl (whose name we do not know as yet), sitting in a bus next to Neil, who prayed to god that he would never see her again coz she’s a ‘teekhi as shezwan sauce’, to his utter disbelief his seat is next to hers, they have a spat over the window seat, and coz he’s assigned that seat, she gives in. After that some goons appear in the bus to kill her as she saved some kids from their boss, and Neil, in typical tellywood style, claimed her as his wife

Also Neil is a the token family disappointment coz he decided to become a professional chef rather than the head pandit, he has a sister that could give Anjali competition and she is also preggers and has a shady husband. 

Now we can truly get this show on the road:

I have truly forgotten how our girl got sindoor on her forehead but it is working towards this whole “husband saves wife” ting 

OMG I CANNOT THE GOONS DO NOT LOOK SCARY IN THE SLIGHTEST

Also she warned Neil that they are ‘very dangerous’ and he’s reassured her by telling her to play along

“Sorry madam humein bola tha ke uss ladki ne peela suit pehna tha aur kunwari thi, lekin aap ki toh shaadi ho chuki hai” LOLLLL SO THEY KNOW WHAT SHE’S WEARING AND HER MARITAL STATUS BUT DO NOT KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE, TF?????

“Haan humein shaadi ko 6 mahine ho gaye hai” “LEKIN BHAI-JI PICHLE 6 MAHINO SE ISSNE MERA JEENA HARAM KARDIYA HAI” loving this overacting ki dukaan and the whole ins and outs of their “marriage” that the bus now knows

The goon is even like “bitch I’m out”

omfg she’s trying to thank him, and he’s all up on his high horse. Just takes the thanks and move on, why you gotta be all up with the ego (also I’m not gonna post anymore photos or we’ll literally be here all day, screencaps will be back once I’m upto date)

And he’s calling her shezwan sauce again coz she’s always getting him into musibats and “shezwan sauce ka kaam hi yeh hota hai... seene mein aag lagana” ALSO FYI THIS IS THEIR SECOND MEETING SO TRULY WTF, (but I’m also here for this) 

ohhh sifaljiya means sar dard without ilaaj (aww they’ve given each other nicknames how cute)

HAHAHAH HE SAID SAME TO YOU AND SMIRKED

I like his sass 

So she’s come home after 3 months, to see her baba, who is overweight? and she’s his dietician because looking after your parents is directly correlated with sanskaar 

Also coz she’s smart she’s realised that she’s gonna meet him again so this would be enjoyable and she wants to get rid of all ehsaan he has on her so they never meet again 

basically I spoke too soon coz she genuinely thinks a simple thankyou will stop them from meeting again

And he’s gone

OMG I THOUGH THEY WONT SEE EACH OTHER BUT THEY DID SO OMLLLLL

Nice touch with the masjid and the mandir in opposing directions, and her turning away from him to pray and now they’re facing in opposite directions towards their faiths, I’m gonna guess that’s their major conflict 

ALSO WHAT DID I TELL Y’ALL IN THE LAST LB, THIS FLOWER WILL BLOOM BECAUSE OF THESE TWO, SO SUCK ON THAT NEIL’S DAD

Also welcome to the beginning of another toxic yet addictive ‘love story’

So her dad is a carpenter of sorts

Also he looks quite skinny so what was the fat shaming for?????

WE FINALLY HAVE A NAME - CHAHAT BAIG? 

No, he’s a gynaec and carpentry is a ‘shaunk’ 

Oh no, I see where this is going, god fucking dammit dave (yes I talk in tiktok now)

So she’s become his ‘doctor’ when he’s an actual doctor, also he’s asking her questions that a fkn year 7 kid would know the answers to 

And now they’ve ‘earned’ each other’s hugs how normal and sweet

She has come first in MBBS - I’m actually really proud

Also, I would like to give this show a shoutout for actually giving me a female lead who is more educated than the male lead. Like all the other shows I’ve watched, except for Kaisi Yeh Yaariaan (which I don’t consider mainstream ITV) and EDKV (but even in that Shravan was more educated than Suman), the female leads weren’t even college graduates and finally there’s one who has a MBBS. 

And we have someone named ‘Ghazala’ who makes it seem she is a sore spot for Chahat

And ofcourse we are back to the dramatic poojas and saying manhoos things to poison the dad’s brain against his own son

HOW MANY GODDAMN MANDIRS DOES THIS HOUSE HAVE 

What is this random relative, who sometimes cosplays to be blind, sometimes ties his feet together

Also why is this family so dramatic about him being a little late

What if mans had an accident, or he got hurt, or he died? But nah, mans is just disrespectful and hates his family and god 

There is not one family member maybe except for Anjali2.0 who I care for and she’s gonna die 

omg not again with this idiot calling her Sarasti and he’s been declared as the rightful next head priest

And ofcourse Shyam1.5 (coz he’s not as badass as the original), is going to be all fake and be like “noooo, Neil is the rightful owner of this position” etc. etc.

The dad is predictably blinded by his whole act and asking him how can he be so selfless 

Now we have cut back to Ghazala???? who has all these women getting her ready like its the 1600s (one of them is called Shabnam, which is my mum’s name so this is awks) 

It’s the heavy urdu and obsession of beauty for me 

She’s the evil stepmother.tm 

Why are these tv dads either sooooo dumb, soooo cunning or soooo dead, like can’t there be a normal tv dad who is alive and smart and loving 

like this whamen is playing him, and he’s a bloody doctor and he’s letting it happen

Also I ain’t seen itv female leads with alive parents, always one or both of them gotta be dead

LOLLL IN TRUE SNOW WHITE FASHION, THE MIRROR ON THE WALL (I.E. MAIDS) HAVE SAID CHAHAT IS 10X PRETTIER THAN HER STEP MUM 

It’s the mirror breaking and the Mrs. Baig, for me 

HAHAHHA SHE THOUGHT THAT CHAHAT WAS GOING IN FOR THE HUG, BUT SHE’S ACTUALLY GONE TO SEE THE NAME PLAQUE THINGY HER DAD HAS MADE FOR HER 

And the Kedarnath soundtrack is back 

Our mans has finally come, and picked up his sister, scaring her in the process

Awww I’m actually devastated that their killing Anjali2.0 off, I like her bond with Neil (no matter how co-dependent/toxic it may be)

Why is Ghazala, a grown adult woman, jealous of her husband’s kid, that is weird and creepy

I love the whole my name is Chahat Rahil Baig because without my dad, I have no identity etc. but does she not realise, that Baig is also given to her from her dad????

LOLLLL THE DRAMATICS OF SEEING SINDOOR IN HER HAIR (umm surely this isn’t that serious of a situation, she could literally just say idk) 

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this, I will be liveblogging here and there, but proper liveblogs will happen when I’ve caught up. I hope all of you are happy, safe and well!

[mydarlingfelix]

Get to know me tag(s)!

Tagged by: @hyunjinh  @felox-the-great @jaeffreyy @squishywoojin @welcometochanskitchen @dabkingfelix @mosquitofelix

Hi! I’m Summer btw (Ik it’s not in my bio), but I just go by Sum or other nicknames lol *I also just put multiple “get to know me” tags in 1 lol THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST IM SORRY However thank you for tagging me!! I Love you all soOoOo much!

Bold Thingy Tag

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I think everyone done this already fkjdjgb

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair (idk it’s growing) - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month (Lucy wanted to be drawn for her bday and I did a watercolor portrait thing ig? for her) - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol- I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event- I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling (I have like 5)- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity (?) - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship (not a healthy one at least)- I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily (It’s disgusting, wtf is wrong with me. I don’t need feels) - I have had a crush for over a year (Umm kinda he’s just really really cute. I talked to Dain about this before) - I have been in a relationship for over a year (but not currently) - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

Alphabet Soup Tag

A: Age - “I’m 19, you fight me?” B: Birthplace - Cali C: Current time - As I’m during this 1:26pm D: Drink you had last - Water, but also Thai Tea Boba E: Easiest person to talk to - F: Favorite song - None G: Grossest memory - My cousin’s and I were doing a auntie and niece day and went theMall and I saw this girl throw up on the second floor in Forever 21. I felt sorry for the workers...  H: Hogwarts house - G I: in love? - nah, never gonna happen J: Jealous of people? - It’s only a human aspect, you’re only truly horrible if you do something nasty to others because of that feeling K: Killed someone? - Not yet lmfao L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? - No thank you M: Middle name - Summer N: Number of siblings - 5 O: One wish - None P: Person you called last - My mom Q: Question you are always asked - Idk tbvh R: Reason to smile - Idk things make me happy S: Song you sang last - The Unit No way (I dont remember the unit colors)  T: Time you woke up - 6:43am  U: Underwear color - White  V: Vacation destination - South Korea, Japan, & idk the other one, but honestly my goal is to visit all my mutuals before I died lmfaooo W: Worst habit - Not caring, sleeping in, getting distracted easily, being anixious all the time.  X: X-rays - Teeth Y: Your favorite food - I have a lot... Z: Zodiac sign - Gemini

🥛 Colour(s) I’m currently wearing: Black... Just a lot of black (I need to stop wearing sm black omg)  🍥 Last band t-shirt I bought: I don’t ever buy clothes for myself, idk when was last time? Maybe during the Got7 concert?  🥛 Last band I saw live: Got7 (Fly In LA: Day 1) and Paradise (A Hmong Band)  🍥 Last song I listened to: Rn I’m listening to The Unit’s Cherry on Top  🥛 Lipstick or chapstick: Idk... I wear lip tints.  🍥 Last movie I watched: Ever Wonder? (idk it’s a true story about the creation of wonder women)  🥛 Last 3 TV shows I watched: Wanna One Go, Wanna One x Aimgo TV, and The Unit 🍥 Last 3 characters I identified with: Kora, Steven Universe, & Ken Kaneki (idk for this part, I never thought about this fkdfdkgd)  🥛 Book I’m currently reading: Books for my classes njfdkjd 

What’s my name? (Imma just put my initials) 

M. S. L.

What’s my nickname?

Sum, SumSum, SumShine, Summahh Girl, Tsumdere, Chee, 

How old am I?

“I’m 19, you fight me?”

What got me into Kpop?

SJ- Sorry Sorry, but Got7 made me offically stay and learning everything about the kpop fandom

What’s my favourite Kpop group?

Rn W1 (the most)

Who’s my ultimate bias?

Park Jihoon

What groups/artists do I stan?

Too many to count, you all can ask my personally if you want lol

What groups/artists do I casually listen to?

A lot, I try to be diverse, but what’s good music is good music to me. Feel free to suggest me some :D

What artists do I listen to that aren’t Kpop?

Ahh I’m lazy, but just good sounding music. Calvin Harris just popped up in my head. fknfkjskfnj 

Who’s my bias and bias wrecker from my ultimate group(s)?

Omfg

Wanna One: Park Jihoon & Kang Daniel

JBJ: Kim Donghan & ??? (They’re all messing me up rn)

SK: Felix & I think Hyunjin? Idk

What’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

It’s recently been Chungha’s roller coaster lol and The Unit songs  

What are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)?

I really love plants and flowers in general, however Peonies are one of my many faves!! 

Favourite colour(s)?

Pink, blue, purple, black, white, and gray

What do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Umm yeah I always doodling, but I try not to because I want to be able to focus in class haha. 

How do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

It probably like 20% coffee and 80% french vanilla cream nfksjfgsbjg sometimes I add a lil milk too 

Favourite candle scent?

Anything flowery, but i really like sweet pea smell lol. I don’t any candles yet, so I don’t quite know which I like more yet. Soorrryy

Sunrise or Sunset?

Sunset! The colors are soo pretty and like it doesn’t require me to wake up from my sleep lmfao. The transitions of day and night it just so beautiful! and the stars that start peeking through the dark sky! 

What perfume do you wear if any?

I don’t wear perfume? I have them at home but in my opinion I feel like if you’ve showered and smell nice why try to mix more scents onto you?? and I don’t really need it? DONT WORRY I AM CLEAN NFJSNJF idk if I make any sense

What’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

-

Favourite quote?

“The moon is friend for the lonesome to talk to.” ― Carl Sandburg 

&  “We ran as if to meet the moon.” ― Robert Frost  

& also 

“The moon and stars just for you my love” - Me lol 

Favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Umm... Drawing. Showering and putting a face mask afterwards. Painting my nails. It’s more like small things, especially like painting my nails and drawings are things I can’t do often because I try to focus on school, because ik I’m bad at focusing. Sleeping and reminding to just eat, when I get too busy and focused I tend to skip meals. njfkdsnfj s

Fuzzy socks or House slippers?

OMFG BOTH THAT’S LIKE THE BEST COMBO! I have these pinky and purple house slippers I got aND IT’S FUZZY KSFJ SK IT’S SOOO CUTE OMG!! I love. nfjdnfd 

What colour are your eyes? 

Dark Brown

What’s your favourite eye colour on others?

Hazel, black, and gray

Favourite season? why?

Autumn and Winter (Ik contradicts with my name) but I love the rain! and cloudy weather! The sound of rain is calming and being inside while hearing the rain is nice. I really love Spring too when the flowers begin to bloom and like it’s a fresh type of feeling when spring hits lol.

Cheek, neck or nose kisses?

SJFNKFS Honestly depends on my mood  (´•/// ω \\\•`) but I like cheek kisses because softtt

What does your happy place look like?

My room on a rainy day with my fairy lights flickering

Favourite breed of dog?

YO OKAY SO I SAW THIS FB POST ABOUT THIS DOG BEAR AND I WANT A DOG BEAR IDK WHAT THEY’RE CALLED JKFDFHKSF. My dad is a dog breeder as a side business, so I grew up with pitbulls, pocket pits, american bull dogs, frenches, and now ‘exotics’ are the trend atm. 

Do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

Umm yes and no? I’m not sure. If I have an American wedding I like to stick to a traditional white with maybe a peach and light pink here and there, but for sure I would love to do a traditional Hmong wedding. 

Silk or Lace?

Silk feels nice, but I like lace too :)

Favorite weather?

SF type of weather 

[vrenaewrites]

CRAVE by Tracy Wolff thoughts: Ch 22 - ch 48

Full video here.

CH 22: Baby, it’s hot in here

Like, baby it’s cold outside?

Sooooo much internal monologuing about her first boyfriend and how no one has made her feel like Jaxon does…

“The big picture is that the most popular boys in school are obsessed with you”

“He looks at you like it physically hurts him not to be touching you. Baby, if he wanted you anymore he’d spontaneously combust”

Macy wants the tea about her and Jaxon

She says flint and him had a “massive pissing contest over her” lmao

“Are you trying to be reassuring or scare me?” “yes”

She tells heather ttyf? Am i stupid??? What does that mean?

TALK TO YOU FOREVER?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

“It sounds like every cliche in the book, but he’s different around you. Somehow less intense, but more intense.”

“You can trust me, we’re family” and grace almost starts crying :(

CH 23: never bring an ice cream scoop to a gunfight

Macy FINALLY comes clean re: flint and jaxon are mortal enemies

“What is this the breakfast club? Even they figured out they could all get along” grace just be quiet and let the girl who actually knows wtf is up at this school tell you wtf is up. You been wanting her to talk for so long, be quiet.

Ooh something big happened a year ago that made them all break up into factions

It’s about hudson jaxon’s brother!

Or is his name spelled Hyudsin because stupid spellings

Ooh macy warned grace not to become the chew toy between flint and jaxon

CH 24: waffles are the way to a girl’s everything

I want to hate this but i fucking love waffles so like…

Someone’s texting her about her ankle...i thought it was jaxon...AND IT IS!

“I don’t know the punchline to whatever knock knock joke you’re setting up” I BURST OUT LAUGHING BECAUSE “he’s funny over text” ma’am...this isn’t funny? Maybe a lil snarky, but funny?

Now she’s telling jokes over text and we’re having a whole long stupid text fucking exchange….i hate this so much

Then he tries, “what do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite” and my soul leaves my body because what in the 8th grade twilight fanfiction is happening…

She texts him brb instead of just responding when when she was done peeing and then he stops answering her, this used to happen to me with the toxic dudes i talked to in high school...am i reading too much into this? Idk yet

And then she’s spiraling about why he stopped texting and UGH I REMEMBER THIS FEELING!!!!!!!!!

Jaxon has food sent up to her room from the...cafeteria? Wtf…

He says he doesn’t like the food and she says “So what do you like to eat” and then is like “wow that sounded suggestive” lmao

And he says “i don’t think we’re there yet but let me know when we are” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

CH 25: truly madly deeply bitten

And we’re really just gonna keep texting 21 questions

She loves tatbilb...i mean same lana condor is the loml, but

Jaxon loves rogue one………

I don’t care AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT DO I CARE, TRACY WOLFF.

“I wish i could ask the real jaxon vega to please stand up” i rolled my eyes but i also giggled

“You suck” “you have no idea how much” i threw up in my mouth.

Niall horan reference, hozier reference, rhianna reference

JAXON’S. FAVORITE. SONG. IS. TRULY. MADLY. DEEPLY.

INSERT SNAPCHAT OF ME CRYING LAUGHING HERE

Gambino reference, beethoven reference???, and then brown-eyed girl which personally offends me because my mom used to sing that to me

This makes her hands shake

She plays brown eyed girl a bunch of times

Then another woman comes to deliver a package to grace...from jaxon...it’s a library book

It’s twilight

Insert snap of me screaming stfu here

Macy is laughing her ass off about this because she isn’t stupid, she knows what jaxon is

And grace says she never read it when it was popular all those years ago…

Baby you said you liked reading. No way did you survive middle school without reading it.

And then he shows up!!!!!

She makes a shitty joke to lighten to the mood

He’s massaging her hurt ankle...oh shiiii

They ALMOST kiss

He gives her a little note wrapped in a ribbon

“I wonder how i’m going to keep this beautiful, broken boy from cracking my already battered heart wide open”

Hades voice: we were so CLOSE!

CH 26: the uniform doesn’t make the woman, but it sure brings out the insecurities

He ripped a page out of anais nin’s journals that says some shit like “i dreamed you, i wished for you”

So cute sentiment but you ripped a book my dude? Cardinal sin

Grace is finally going to class

The cafeteria is goth as fuuuuck

The music is “creepy af”

Jaxon sits next to her in front of everyone

CH 27: 10 degree weather gives a whole new meaning to “the cool kid’s table”

He sits in the super ornate chair backwards and it makes her horny

The order is kind of ragging on jaxon about being cute to grace which is funny

We get all the dude’s names at one - raphael luca liam mickey?? I think

“A dark and devastating desperation” in his eyes

And then we got byron who’s more angsty than jaxon - “mad bad and dangerous to know” just like his namesake

CH 28: “to be or not to be is a question, not a pick-up line”

Jaxon walks her to class

Wanting him feels like opening a vein

“I love the way your hair smells”

“My heart is beating like a heavy metal drummer”

We were so close!!!!!!!!!

We’re doing hamlet in class ofc

The teacher says “although you look like the shy type despite your association with katmere’s most notorious student”

Instead of just saying the halls are like playing frogger she describes the old video game where you try to get the frog across the road...is it just people in the south that say playing frogger when describing crossing traffic? Or is this a well known phrase??

Apparently there’s hidden tunnels so flint takes her to them

Her intuition is like BITCH DON’T GO IN THE TUNNELS but she ignores it AGAIN

CH 29: with friends like these, everyone needs hard hats

There are beds with shackles?!?!?!?!

Leah shows up and turns out they’re going to the same class? But flint insists on walking her to class…

Leah and flint are NOT friendly

Damn she offends flint with a buffalo bill joke

There’s bones in the tunnels and a giant chandelier in the rotunda that’s also made of bones…

There’s an earthquake!

CH 30: you make the earth shake under my feet, and everywhere else too

And it stops as soon as they get out of the tunnel

Jaxon is there and being a dick to flint and grace has HAD it

CH 31: big girls don’t cry, unless they want to

Grace gets hit with a basketball in gym

All the order has been walking her to class because jaxon knew she was mad at him

Does jaxon cause the earthquakes somehow?

She finally reads the texts jaxon had sent and feels bad for being mad at him when he was just worried - no he acted like a dick. Be mad.

She’s making sooooo many excuses for his anger: the earthquake, the fact that he’s already rescued her before so of course he’s worried…

Aww a student is playing autumn leaves which was her dad’s favorite song :(

She starts to boo-hoo “grief is a wild thing within me”

Civil twilight AGAIN

Jaxon is standing there when she finally stops

CH 32: it’s not a coincidence that denali and denial use all the same letters

He opens the door in the alcove and it’s like a clubhouse? Oh it’s his dorm room???? Confusion

So it’s like the living room and NOW he’s leading her into his bedroom

She says she’s terrified of him touching her because of the intensity but then says she has no trepidations about doing or being anywhere with him...ya just said...nvm

They go out to the roof

CH 33: Madonna’s not the only one with a lucky star

Please decide if grace is a silly teen who doesn’t know what frogger is or an old soul who loves madonna pls

She asks if he’s an alien…

And she tells him he’s the hottest person ever and that his scar makes him sexy as hell and he's all like “me?!” which is a nice role reversal

This is his favorite place

And there's a meteor shower!!

CH 34: all’s fair in love and earthquakes

Thanks i hate this

When she touches him she realizes how cold he is and thinks it’s from being outside which makes him act all weird

Someone please just tell this girl what’s going on!!!!!!!!! I HATE when the reader is 8,000 steps ahead of the MC

“A craving in his eyes” WE’VE SAID THE TITLE FOLKS!

She makes the move to close the space and says she’s dazzled, GUYS

She’s making the MOVE! “Did you ever want something but you were scared of taking it?” “yes” “what did you do” “i took it anyway” and then he kisses her!!!!!!

The kiss is as soft as a snowflake, as delicate as the permafrost

Then “his mouth goes crazy on mine lips tongue teeth, it’s a cacophony of sensations, a riot of pleasure”

“My knees go weak at his tongue on mine, just like one of those heroines in a novel”

His hands are vices on my biceps...his hands were around her back at first which seems way more romantic than manhandling her arms??

There’s an earthquake...and jaxon is like you have to go

A window breaks and cuts her and then she blacks out????

CH 35: baked alaska is more than just a yummy dessert

Intimidating af is the nurse

The glass nicked her artery!!!!!! The FUCK. or did jaxon bite her?????

Her mom died like that… yikes on bikes

He fucking bit her...this is a lie...i’m calling it…

FINN ABOUT TO COME CLEAN!!!...but the nurse stops him.

Macy is an OG bff she is the best

Or is grace the one making shit happen??

Grace notices the sheets are fixed but that macy never went to the bed

Macy asked what they were doing when the earthquake hit...WHY

CH 36: no harm, all foul

Grace goes after Jaxon and he’s like “our kiss didn’t matter”

He says he put her in a lot of danger by being around her, a “target on her back” and wants her to stay away from him but he can’t pull himself away

But then he does

CH 37: don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer

Leah drops the bomb that she and Jaxon are expected to carry on like a family dynasty sitch since Hudson died

CH 38: nothing says “i like you” like a fang to the throat

She’s freaking out of course

Mickey says jaxon def didn’t bit her and she’s even more confused and me too

Jaxon is in the mountains...he wants her to wait but she’s pissed

“I take a deep breath and hold onto it with both hands” ….?????

Because i have to hear it out loud, “what did make these marks?”

Say it, out loud

CH 39: there’s never a hallucinogen around when you need one

She’s furious and she should be! I’m glad she’s not replying to Jaxon

We finally get to the bottom of it all!!!!!!

Macy admits Jaxon is a vampire

Leah is one too!!!!

Flint is a dragon!!!!! CALLED IT

He’s got fire? With a name like flint how could he not PUKE

“Who needs LSD when you go to monster high?” Shut UP

Macy is a witch DUH

“You should have been one too”

CH 40: be careful what you witch for

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH THIS TITLE

Grace’s dad was a warlock but he lost his power when he fell for grace’s mom...oh no was their accident like a magical mafia hit??

“What kind of witch are you if you can’t do something an 11 year old can?” “the kind that doesn’t come from JK Rowling’s brilliant imagination”...THAT aged poorly…

“This is a less bloody version of game of thrones” shut UP

The school nurse bit her because jaxon used his vampire venom to heal her cut, and it worked too well so she needed to cut through the healed skin with her vampire teeth

Because this is twilight satire so of course they have venom…

“So vampires can just override each other’s venom?”

Most of the vamps would have had a hard time not draining you dry, but not jaxon

I absolutely called it: witches, vampires, dragons, and werewolves confirmed.

CH 41: Vampires dragon and werewolves, oh my

This physically hurts

She’s kind of categorizing the students now that she knows which is totally something i would do

God almighty is flint just a jacob clone…

CH 42: good thing pancakes aren’t on today’s menu

The chandelier is falling onto her and someone pushes her out of the way - it’s jaxon!

His eyes smolder at her

She dresses his cut on his head and his arm

“I wouldn’t have had to save you if you were in your room where i told you to be” he grinds the last part out through clenched teeth

He finally lays it out that someone has been getting her hurt on purpose

CH 43: what doesn’t kill you still scares the hell out of you

Her uncle wants to talk to her before she sees jaxon again and i smell an info dump coming

Dangerous af

“Macy told me she spilled all the tea” said her UNCLE with no hint of like “is that what you kids say these days”. GTFO

“I wait for the other shoe to drop even though 100 have already fallen” that’s not how that idiom works

She’s like “how could he think i wouldn’t figure it out i knew something was wrong” no ma’am! No you didn’t!! You kept shrugging it off until chapter 24 at the EARLIEST when you settled on aliens

Getting the tea on the turf war between dragons and vampires - so it’s not like twilight because it’s not the werewolves. Whatever.

Uncle says it was probably some witch who got too loose with her powers and grace is like yeah no absolutely no one is trying to kill me it was yet ANOTHER freak accident

Uncle wants to sent her back to cali

CH 44: Sweet home alaska

So she doesn’t wanna go because of jaxon, not because her only family in the world is in Alaska….

It’s only been a WEEK

“I know jaxon can be...seductive” says her UNCLE

the guys in the order are born vampires, not made, it’s a v big deal

Info dump city re how vampirism is a genetic mutation…

There are 6 ancient families of vampires...this all sounds like the first draft of my new wip where I was trying to figure out how the secret society worked…

Then he says he’s not in the habit of talking students with other students….we just did...this whole chapter…

Another earthquake???

Ch 45: I always knew there was fire between us, I just didn’t know it was your breath

Dude shut up

She goes to the library and wonders if the books about vampires etc would be under non fiction or biology lmao

The librarian is a native Alaskan with elemental magic….yikes

She does a weird eye swirling “you’re more than you think you are” thing to grace

Flints in the library and she asks him about dragons and I swear to god if we get a chapter devoted to learning about each species via info dump I will burn this place to the ground

He singes the marshmallow with his fire breath, loves it

And he can breathe ice? He cools the water down

He can bloom flowers in his hand????

“They’re beautiful” “you’re beautiful” “but I’m not hitting on you??”

Because when I hit on you, it’ll be because you want me to!!!!! We Stan flint!!!

Ch 46: I’ll get you and your little dog too

Enough

Dry throat around flint now, oh shiiiiiii

Oh shit the order is on the move!! There’s trouble

She chases them into a classroom and sees jaxon making shit fly everywhere with just his mind...is he a vampire and a witch??

There’s a werewolf vampire brawl

Damn jaxon can freeze everyone with his mind!

She tries to stop him but he’s put up a barrier

She breaks through!!!!

And jaxon bites cole!!!!!!! ALMOST KILLS COLE!!!!!!!!!!!

“This is your only warning”

CH 47: the first bite is the deepest

Jaxon pulls grace away, this whole time grace’s inner monologue is her feeling responsible for the carnage

“I won’t hurt you” “I know” “you know? do you have a death wish?”

But jaxon is so disgusted at himself that she's just like “well did he deserve to almost be killed?” She has accepted this shit with sociopathic speed

“The power you wield...it’s unfathomable” sis has turned the corner

“You don’t scare me jaxon”

They flipped the script and she breaks down his defenses and it’s kind of hot ngl

She tells him she needs him and he bites her??????

Ch 48: is that a wooden stake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

They’re getting worse

But it’s not a hurting bite it’s like a sex bite…like she describes an orgasm basically..

Then they kiss

The earthquakes are jaxon! Called it

At this point I am sooooo annoyed because just make him a witch!!!! We really wanted the twilight combo so badly we made him a telekinetic earth-shaking vampire?????????

They go to his room...and she goes to his drum kit instead of his bed, you dumb bitch

Now they’re talking in the bed

The jokes are just so fucking bad

He cuts them off by pulling her on top of him and kissing her!!! In bed!!!! We ain’t in twilight no more henny

“The kiss curls my toes but the yank curls everything else” wut

“I don’t want you anywhere near that world, and I sure as hell don’t want that world anywhere near you” - someone. Anyone. Take a second pass

~~~

[zeebalikwisha]

Broken heart venting

**my mind is all over the place. bare with me, yah**

I feel like I literally met the man that I’ve always wanted just to turn out that he was just what my heart and mind wanted to believe. From the beginning I was very hesitant wit him but I just felt like “hey, people change..why not”. NOPE! This person came in my life when I wanted out of the situation I was already in for years. He came and showed me that it was ok to be me and enjoy life. He supported me and showed me so much. It’s like he lifted me up and just dropped me down to rockbottom.

We started of as you know, just having our fun - sexually exclusive to each other to feelings getting involved. I was happy, although I was dealing with my ex who wanted me back i pushed through and stuck with my decision. I felt like I was free with him and things were falling into place. I knew I fell in love with him when I was getting jealous of girls just being around him. Let me tell you, it takes A LOT for me to be jealous. I’m very chill and whatever about things, but him! OMGOODNESS he had my blood boiling ahaha, I didn’t even know how to deal with myself when I felt that way. Anyways, I knew he wasn’t ready for commitment but I still stuck around because I believed that it was just fear from past relationships. I trusted him SO MUCH that another girl was never really a thought. I did let him know that if that was the case to let me know and let me go. Always kept it open with him and wanted him to feel comfortable to tell me these things. Our deal in this was that we stuck to each other, if there was anyone else that we let each other know, we needed to be honest and communicate with each other. Easy! For me at least.

My friends were really against this, they kept bringing up his past and how much he was a player and a fraud and all that “men are trash” talk, even my guy friends will tell me his the reason why a lot of girls don’t mess with people from their country. Of course stubborn me...”but people change, and he’s older now”.  Only to find out that he is in fact what my friends told me about him.

I had moved away because I got a job in small town. He was happy for me and i was excited cause I had my own place that he can come see me at and I can come see him when he was home. Anyways, I ended up loosing my job, I wasn’t too upset because I felt something better would come. Suddenly it felt like everything just hit a brutal STOP! I was feeling SICK to my stomach, I wasn’t sleeping, and I would be crying my eyes out every night. I felt stressed and just dealing with really bad anxiety. I had no idea why! I just felt like something is off, something is about to happen. Couple days later I’m told that he flew another girl from a whole different continent to meet his family for marriage. I literally broke into tears like someone had died. Why me, I asked. What and where did i go wrong? The feeling I felt that very moment, I wouldn’t wish on ANYONE! I was BROKEN! Why would you do this to me? After everything...why? Why keep me around for this long and not say anything? 

So much has happened from the moment of finding out. I drove back home, ran into them and to this very day he won’t admit that she’s “the one” for him. He denies that she met the family, he claims that she came here for an acting thing. I lost sooooo much weight, I was crying, my friends became distant. I moved back home, because honestly I wasn’t even looking for work anymore. I was just a mess and lost.

I had sent him a text message to tell him how much he hurt me and that it was over between us. We were still seeing each other after all that and we were still getting intimate. He just knew how to pull me back to him, he knew how to play with my head and make me believe him even after seeing it for myself. One night, while he was asleep I couldn’t sleep at all, I decided “hey, let me check his phone”. Boy oh boy did I see everything I needed and more. Seeing him talking to her the way that he did just made me feel sick and triggered my anxiety. I couldn’t feel hurt because he has hurt me so much, what more heart is there to break when it’s broken completely? He stated that he knew she was a good girl when he first saw her and when he left he couldn’t just let her go. WTF am I? Im not a hoe, I don’t sleep around, my name is not out there, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for him. 

The following day, we are running errands together and all i can think about were the messages and the pictures of them being together and HAPPY. Knowing that they facetime while he’s working and I couldn’t even get him on the phone. Mind you, we used to talk on the phone almost everyday, he always called back but that just ended out of nowhere. Makes sense now. 

I feel like I wasted so much time just waiting around for him to apologize. I have forgiven him. Stupidly I’m here helping him out with this campaign, when yet I really shouldn’t. I eventually messaged him that I couldn’t keep being intimate with him when I know about her and his plans with her. If he wants someone with while she’s where she lives..its not me. There are plenty of girls who are willing to do it but me, I am not that girl and I can not be that girl. I have way to much pride and class for this. Yes, I know, I slept him many more times knowing but I felt guilty. I was LOST in his lies. He knew exactly what to do and say to me. Not my proudest moment. 

I will honestly and truly will have a soft spot for him. I will be ready to help him if he really needs the help. I will not have a friendship with someone who can lie to me like that and not own up to their wrongs. Until that day where he owns up to it...maybe just MAYBE. I’ve been nothing but loyal to him and his biggest fan. I wish him nothing but the best and that he becomes a better man for this girl who is so oblivious to the situation even after me running in to them and I’m sure she got random messages just like I did.  I love him, I do, but I will never fight for him back ever. He can come back and fight but who’s to say I will take him back? He’s embarrassed me and me a joke in front of his friends who knew the whole time, and in front of my own friends. It is sad that because of this my friendships have shifted. To hear that some don’t really want to be around me because they are embarrassed is a blow. Now I have to learn to let go of this guy, and accept being on my own and doing my own thing without my friends.

[justanearth-boundmisfit]

½ I am starting to feel Bibros have been right all along. Misha/Cas fans are not even 1% of the fandom. Fans for whom Misha/Cas is more important than anyone else. Misha/Cas fans are mostly Jinsing/Dean fans and wants to ship him with another beautiful man. That is all Misha/Cas is to them. People who want the best for Misha/Cas are truly not even 1%. Jinsing flashed his underwear in Europe. Everything mean he does and says in USA will be excused by Misha/Cas fans because Cockles! the AU Destiel

2/2 Even if Jinsing physically hurts Misha, these Misha/Cas fans will lecture you to watch 50 shades of grey and how romantic it is. Now the same people are even singing new Mishalecki tunes. Jordash punched Misha in the balls. Cockles. Jinsing wants to get rid of Misha. Cockles. Trump tweets Covfefe. Cockles. It is getting embarassing to watch “so called” Misha/Cas blogs trip over themselves for Jinsing but remain Deaf/Blind/Mute/Dumb when it comes to supporting /standing up for Misha/Cas.

Under the cut, for rant extreme, I think this is the longest reply that I ever wrote, so so sorry anon! For the people that don’t like ship criticism, turn around now, don’t read this, I give you a fair warning…

Hello anon. Well I hope you got it wrong on the percentage but it certainly feels like it. And even more, a lot of Misha`s fans that actively defend him are not in the fandom anymore, because they are tired of the same bs. I’m tired of the same bs too. Everything is being justified through the eyes of a ship. I stated this before: maybe is because I’m old? I’m almost forty, and I don’t find abuse or bullying romantic. I don’t find Cas’s death romantic. The romeo+juliet shit doesn’t work on me anymore. Well It never worked for me tbh. And also It’s been years seeing this obsession about ships getting bigger and bigger, to the point of making trying to defend Misha or stand up for Cas, almost impossible. Surely they are still fans that see reason, but they are not in the big numbers. I got second hand embarrassment sometimes. Let me give you an example: Misha posted the picture remembering the victims of Orlando…a lot of people: “yes! now make destiel real!” Wtf?? No respect whatsoever, I have tears in my eyes rn, not kidding. This is not acceptable, what’s the difference between those destiel fans and the most extreme crazy about incest ones? Because I see none. And it’s really sad because deancas was a beautiful ship, a beautiful love story. Now it only brings me, not only pain through the show, but shame, through their shippers.

And cockles ohmygods, this ship! The people of ancient aliens, are taking tips from cockles shippers let me tell you! Everything is justified, everything is because they are sooooo in love, everything is because they are a couple. Tell me if the last sentences can’t also be applied to what bibros think about jinsing&jordash. “But we respect the wives” they say. ok, but do they respect Misha too? Or they only see Misha, again, through the eyes of a shipper? Everyone has a right to ship whatever, but when your obsession becomes so strong, that you start avoiding truths, or twisting them to your convenience, then something is very very wrong. Some people could tell me: “ok, you don’t like it, don’t read/follow/watch! Block!” I truly wish I could do that! Follow Misha and don’t see anything about cockles bs! But is everywhere! In fact It’s really hard to find a blog that is only about Misha and Cas, there must be two or three I’m not kidding. 

And mishalecki, well… Let me tell you a story, when I started getting more into the fandom, about 8 years ago or so, I thought that jordash was really cute and kind with Misha. Not as a ship, but as good friends. Real truth there, that’s what I thought at the moment. But then I started to watch some videos, I started to listen to the fucking prank stories, I watched some panels (just the parts when he was talking about Misha). And then that fucked up Phillip Seymour Hoffman tweet that jordash sent, calling the man stupid after his suicide…It was all too much, something was not right there. The last 2 or 3 years have been the worst. Or maybe I’m more aware now idk. He has this dude/fraternity bro vibe that I can’t stand. I see all the signs of a bully, and believe me I knew quite a few in my life. But his fans justify everything. Everything. The doxxing, the mistreatment, the bully attitudes… when some point out that what he is doing is wrong, is because, we, minions, are hateful!

Look, I love Misha, but the man is not perfect, I said this before, he’s human. But jordash fans see him like this being that can do no wrong, in anyway, no sir, he is perrrrrfect. When you see another human being like that, something is not right with you. Nobody is perfect, and all of us make mistakes, the thing is accepting that we were wrong. Jordash doesn’t do that, his fans are this hateful bunch that can’t see anything wrong following his example, and mishalecki shippers, as usual, only see that, a ship. “But Misha was laughing!” Is the latest comment about that photo op, when jordash is kicking his balls, yeah really mature there right? And yes, of course Misha is going to laugh and let it pass, at least in the view of the fans, do you people think that he is going to start making a fuss about that with his co-worker in the middle of a convention? I don’t think so. Another comment that I read; “But Misha rent a house and they sleep in the same room” So? Never have a friend that is a fucking bully? And you care about them, so you try to do the best? It happens, a lot. Even between full grown ups. Another justification “Misha can take care of himself” I have no doubts about that, but sometimes Misha cares too much, and he receives so much hate, that he can’t even joke about jordash career, that they are preparing the torches…imagining him complaining about jordash attitude? Although, sometimes it shows that he is not happy with some things happening on set. Shippers can find what kind of underwear jinsing was wearing, but they can’t see when Misha is really being sarcastic and doesn’t like something. *insert big sigh here*

Ufff this got so long, as usual so sorry, but well I think you know me at this point. And even with so much that I wrote there are still a lot of things left unsaid. Let me close with a few thoughts: I think that Misha is really tired of some of the situations, it showed on jibcon and a lot of people say that they saw Misha really tired on autos or photo ops. Misha does a lot, above all at this time of year with gishwhes, but I never read so many reports of him being really out of it, not even smiling. And you know when I saw that change? After that fucking gishwhes chat and all the shit they say about his family. And when he wanted to talk about his children at jibcon, jinsing kept interrupting him with bullshit. But all is ok, because cockles right?

I’m tired too, I don’t seem to find a lo of people who cares about Misha and all the great things that he does. There are some blogs out there that are all Misha, but also is one post about Misha and 5 posts full of anti destiel hate. I don’t want that either! And I’m in the fucking middle: a big, big Misha blog blocked me because I’m not a full destiel shipper, much less a cockles one. And the full on anti destiel blogs also block me because I’m not hateful enough. Lmfao! I can’t defend the guy without hating on someone, either I have to hate everything that is not Misha, or just love everything that is a ship with him. I can’t being a critic because I’m a hater. The extremes of this fandom is what is bringing it down. I’m going to keep defending Misha/Cas, until I can’t no more, because sometimes is really emotionally exhausting. I don’t know how much bs I can take.

Take care anon!

[xladymalice]

Time to answer SOME Asks! xD - Part 2

Let’s put this sweetie at the top of the ask-replies. I kind of don’t want to hide him x’D <3

Anon 18: Working on sin currently too. But it takes freaking time. So much time. Just take this random doodle that I haven’t uploaded so far:

That’s how you get Pup horny btw. That’s a critical hit for him.

Welp.. there’s a ton more asks.. let’s go on then... hahaha....

@blackroses113sin18 Don’t be jelly D: it’s never good to be jelly! (Except for food, then I’ll take you and eat you up) Oh dear.. then you’re a veteran cookie or the like. It’s always great to read that some of you started to follow me just right when I started to join the Undertale fandom. I’m filled with determination and delight to see that I actually managed to hold your interest so far. I guess I’m doing a good job then. Thanks alot sweetie! I’m always trying to improve on my art and the more I draw these skellies the better I get. Like.. my very first attemps were so much harder and they didn’t seem right to me. I had to find my own style and in the end I’m kind of okay with it now. I don’t draw super cute and fluffy stuff.. my style has never been one of these cutie ones. I always do worry that I don’t do good or that I draw skellies super weird in comparison to others (as I said: my Sanses are bigger than “the mainstream” ones... ha) Lemme smooch and love you. When I read this ask you really brighten up my day. Sometimes I feel down and this one really did good on cheering me up. Thanks alot!

@soraya-chan Hm, I need to be in the mood of drawing something else tbh. I think the most cookies and random dudes should know by now that I’m super obsessed with Swapfell and Underswap. You maybe did notice it: I did draw some Underfell too and even Fellcest in some way. I do like the Fellbros, but my love is rather focused on Fellpaps than Red here. I will have to disappoint you again, dear ^^ I’m not interested in many other characters of Undertale other than the skeles. And in general no GrillbyxSans. I do watch stuff like that and accept it, but I won’t draw it myself. (I really need a good reason for that.)

I’m trying to consider other characters but... I would waste my time and strength on things I don’t like? That doesn’t make any sense for me and four you either. Pic’s look always trashy if I don’t want to draw it. Of course I could force myself, but where’s the point? If people want to see explicit couples they can commission me to do it. Commissions have a complete other motivation for me since I want to make this crazy supporter happy who likes my stuff this much. Sure, I do look at suggestions, but I’d rather take suggesteions into consideration that aim at my favorite skellies, which are Swapfell right now. (Underswap and even Underfell will be still part of) Thanks for your understanding :)

@vixenredfox HECK YEAH. I love him too D: like wtf, I’m so thirsty for him.. I need more yandere sfpap with me. Especially my possessive, crazy asshole... fckkk Glad my art does make you happy!

Anon 14: Makes absolutely sense anon. It’s almost losing the fun how many people want to hug my Swapfell Bro’s, are too scared or act like they’re not dangerous at all. Welp, try to hug them. You’ve seen how angry both can get. So uh.. I think it’s not good to piss of any of them. If you do something they don’t like automatically both will be mad. They are deeply connected to each other and they don’t like seeing the other angry. So both woul attack the one who annoys them, y’know? No fun game there :D

Anon 15: Working on it D: please be patieeeeent

Anon 16: Hah, you should see him if Pup does make him laugh for real. Then you’ll die a thousands of happy deaths. I mean.. ok ok.. at the x-mas special we got close to his genuine smile.

He loves his brother truly after all <3

Anon 17: No shit. A pile of bones that manage to get me horny. That’s just sick. I’m thirsty for fucking skeletons. Possessive ones. Who are basically freaks and psychos. I need some therapyst... but I’m sure nothing will help me to get out of this mess... (It’s still a pain to draw them ‘naked’ ...)

@flamefiends I hope you sweet, sweet cookie did see my newest comic “Dangerous Move”. Then you can fangirl some more over that freak. Gosh, I’m a sucker for psycho Pup.

@lulumoonprincess Heh, you will see some. But it also take times... like.. it’s a nsfw comic I’m working on and sometimes I’ve got troubles with drawing stuff like that. I don’t want to present tons of shit D:

Anon 19: You wanna fite me, cookie? We can do this right in front of all. Welp, we’ll see if you get what you want or go crying in a corner ;p

Anon 20: Hmm... maybe if I’m in the freaking mood for it :D good smut doesn’t happen forced! It’s rather sudden and boom!

Anon 21: You sure, Anon?

I think he could have anyone if he’d be interested~~~

Anon 22: Uh..uh.. don’t compliment me so much.. I’m really not this good with compliments... uhh... Q///Q Thank you sooooo much, Anon! I don’t know why you’re so shy to write me, but let me smooch you and overwhelm you with lots of love. My heart was all warm and fuzzy. I am always happy to read stuff like this... There are honestly times I feel that followers don’t really look at my art and postings in general. I know that not everyone is that interested in the artist himself but the comic and shit. Hearing that you went through my galery means alot to me! I hope I can make your day a bit better with each post by me!

@babypizzawonderland Roger that! I’m alwas on duty to create some random, but complex art! Mwehehe! Thanks dear <3

@luckydazephantom Hehe~ I’m listening to a lot of stuff. But usually it’s rock. I am terribly in love with Skillet, Three Days grace, Linking park. There are so many great bands. I even like some german rock bands, altough I usually prefer the english ones. So... uh... (some of the music I listen to is from AMVs. So uh.. deal with it. xD)

This. This. This This. Maybe This. This. Uhhh.. sometimes I’m super into nightcore. Maybe this.

@marookooart The question is what kind of ghost and why does it want to smooch me? How can I even smooch a ghost? I would fall through him right? xD

Anon 23: It’s always weird to read that I am suddenly the fav tumblr of someone... gosh, stop making me blush here. You’re welcome dear! That author is freaking amazing, you should try to read her other fics too! They’re reaaaally good!

Anon 24: Interesting question you’ve got there. I was confused a little since there’s still room to mix shit up... and sometimes I’m too stupid to read the things right. So.. if Pup would see Blue crying he would probably not care at first. However... looking into that teary face would remind him of something he really cares about. So he still would go there and check on him and MAYBE even comfort him like he did in xSympathy. He might be an asshole but he has a soft, weak spot for this one skele. And Blueberry does remind him alot of that special one. After all... SWAPfell has similiar traits with the Swaps~

Anon 25: Ohh I see. But.. but... it is really that interesting to see me freak out and hype stuff? xD Aren’t you bothered by my own fangirling or something???? Hahaha. I could talk about the fic too, if people want to discuss it. Usually I’m pampering my sweet muse on her AO3 account with comments or PM her. That’s where I really freak out and flood her with thoughts and feelings. Gosh, sometimes I do worry that I annoy her...... x’D I do tend to talk lots of trash and weird things, if I’m into something hahaha. But well, I kind of feel honored that someone is this interested in my opinion. I rather thought it would be boring for others to know or stuff... since talk is not as interesting as some picture for the most? Idk...  You’ll see my excitement soon enough again XD

[xladymalice]

Time to answer some Asks! - Part 1

Gosh, cookies...

there’s so much love in my inbox and I am always to busy (or even not in the mood) of answering them... there are way too many open asks....

and I want to thank you all.. every single soul that writes me and posts me stuff there. I know that many of you are shy, but trust me... there’s no reason to be shy. I’m happy you follow me and like my stuff.

It gives me strength and motivation to do lots more!

So.. maybe this is not interesting for everyone, but if you want to, you can go and take a look there <3 (Especially ‘cause I finally looked up some of the older asks... haha...)

@stereo-cat & @sans4life7 Mwehehe! That’s all part of my master plan. I’m going to build up a gigantic cookie army! Glad you like it so much! I’m trying very hard on Sympathy <3 I’m staying super awesome! *sparkles in the moonlight* ha!

Anon 1: Hmhm, I’m not sure why you think like this. There is no real reason for him to hurt himself. He hasn’t got this self-destructive nature like Red. He would try to get his steam off in another way. Blue’s childhood is rather nice and warm, so he had no reason to hurt himself. But if something bad happened... he might not tell Pap about it....

Anon 2: Aww, thank you <3 I’m always trying hard! And if you like all of my stuff, then I can’t be any happier. After all not everyone is into my stuff that is not UT right now :3

Anon 3 & Anon 5 This is a rather old one. But I still want to react to this, since it annoyed me a little. I talked alot to cookies about this and friends and I don’t know. I hope people will not complain about it too much anymore. You have to consider that it takes honestly tons of time to decide on a constellation of panels, scenes... perspective and dialoge for a comic page like in Sympathy. (Since I do a manga-alike version). I am focusing on STORY, EMOTIONS and SCENES. I don’t bother much with the speech balloons for a reason. Usually the drawings should tell half of the story... the text is just the addition to get it right. So... I will try to make it less confusing for you guys. But srsly... I won’t put fucking numbers on the ballons and I refuse to draw arrows every time. IT makes the page look awful. I believed that the color of the ballons would help to get the order too, but I expected too much.This is still a fun project and I have no desire to bother on little shit like that. The most people should be able to find the right order after a while of reading it. So yeah. Not bothering much with this. I am happy that there are cookies like Anon 5 who respect my art and don’t complain about these stupid little matters. It did bug me at first but now I know that I will work on this just a lil’ bit more. Don’t expect too much tho.

Anon 4: Phew. Well.. this is a longer story. Let’s say I’ve got tons of theories how special characters would interact with each other. You will see some of these interactions in Sympathy alot. (e.g. Black/Red, Black/Edge, Stretch/Pup, Pup/Edge) Since Undertale is excluded there... I can only tell you what I personally think. Black and Pup can see alot in Ut!pap. They can read him liek an open book because they can interprete and see signals that others cannot see. E.g. They do know that he’s mostly putting of a nice and kind maskerade and doesn’t show you his true feelings. They are very neutral towards him since they don’t search for a fight with him. Uhm.. I’ve got other ideas too but it’s actually a topic for itself... maybe I’ll tell you more if you ask for it... haha..

@blue4thewin Welp, that’s a fucking good question. Didn’t I mention that my interpretation of SwapPap is actually a very dark and shitty one? He’s a real jerk, cookies. Don’t trust him... (I still want him to toy with me tho... fml). Glad you like my Black so much <3 He’s my favorite along with Pup at the moment. Can’t have enough Swapfell <3

Anon 6: I somehow never notice that I do it this “detailed” ... it happens... hah... as long as you take joy in looking at it, I am happy

@calley-alley-cat & @blue4thewin Thank you cuties <3 Keep practising tons, never lose hope and have fun! It’s never good to push yourself to your limits! Bit by bit you’ll improve and surely will get as good as you desire to be! I’m happy to inspirate you to draw more! Special thanks to you Blue4. I’ve read your asks and I am always happy to see them. I appreciate alot that you show so much understanding for me. As you noticed I don’t work on Sympathy regularly anymore. There’s much stuff going on in RL and I don’t feel good about forcing myself on lining the pages that I’m preparing. I do find it relaxing on doing smal doodles, artworks and short comics. Especially since I’m so eager to draw more stuff about Swapfell Dawn. So thanks alot!

@killikat Heya killikat! *bows too* Same for me! Glad you found my humble, weird blog! I’ll take a hug anytime, sweetie! But I’d be careful with the swapfell bros! Mwehehe! *huggles*

Anon 7: Current status: Blue’s sleeping. So far he seems fine. Or... uhm.. we don’t know that Pup might effect with his weird try on Soul Unification, hahaha ...

@fullm00ny Don’t.. please.. I tend to call him that and it’s no good.. xD (private reasons too, hahaha) Thank you sooooo much <3 I’m working hard on his looks, tho~~ I can only blush at the compliment. Take some smoochies! *kiss kiss chu chu*

Anon 8: I’m fucking sure that there is some shipping list for you guys... HECK NO I DON’T LIKE IT! (Yes I do.. but wtf xD Anon, you should slowly get to know me by now.)

@gootysapphire Thanks alot, sweet sweet cookie <3 I had tons of troubles with the Sanses and especially their heads. I still have troubles with their heads, but I get better bit by bit! Drawing them so much is sure helping X) I feel sooooo happy and relieved that you like my version of Sans since I do draw them different to others. My art.. make them kind of.. uh.. more human-alike? Almost realistic? I don’t like drawing them soo smol. It wouldn’t fit the topics I work with :<

@sans4life7 I do appreciate everyone who tried to save me. Currently it seems that I annoy dear, good Owl as some dirty parasite who tries to steal their Swapfells. After all their miiiiine, mwhhehehehehe >D But be careful... there’s an army of cookies who would fight u for me... hah!

Anon 9: You made me laugh a bit there, Anon. Don’t kick yourself out please, my mind is just as dirty as yours. We will see what Black will do with lil’ Blueberry. After all he did accept Papyrus’ request and took Blue for him~~~ You can dream as much as you want, tbh. Who knows what will happen <3

Anon 10: Fck, maybe I should put up some theorie stuff for Sympathy. I’d like to see and collect all of your ideas and theories, since I’m super interested in them. Something with xsympathy xtheory would be an option. So yeah. You’ve got an interesting idea there. But... I’m not sure if Black truly would accept Blue. I mean... he used to be like Blue yeeeeears ago... maybe he doesn’t like this fact? ;D

@dirty-little-franfricker Ohohoh, cookie. Come here... I’ll make sure you will fear me and beg me for more <3 You know what I’d give ya, right? *smiles* <3

Anon 11: I do but I don’t upload UT stuff there anymore. I kind of focused this blog on Undertale and welp... I think there will be rather original stuff and other fanarts on the other if I feel like it.

Anon 12: Darn right there, Anon. I’d believe in Santa myself to get that present. *coughs*

@soratayuya Damn it. I’ve wanted to answer you since I read your asks. I am so darn sorry to be always so late on replies. I’m happy you enjoyed the X-mas Special so much! I’ve put alot thought and love into it! (Even shitty, little details.. geez) I wanted to show another side of Swapfell and I did. I’m happy that you cookies like it so much.

And omfg. I love your comments on Sympathy alot. Like.. they give me strength to do more and they prove me that I do good on the little twists and hints inside the pages. I’d also be tense and pissed as Black when my fucking slave demanded more stuff from me after FORGIVING his fucking attempt on using SU (Soul Unification) on some random, shitty Sans. Oh dear, this will ‘Cause tons of problems <3

Uhh... Next part follows...