#mali answers stuff

[oceandiagonale]

Actually, Guzman is his spanish name.

OH YEAH some other folks pointed that out too, makes sense since it's an irl Spanish name (probably why I see it around a lot!) 😳

(normally it's a surname, I've only seen it used as a first name once in a blue moon -- but also in the pokemon world it's pretty clear that naming conventions aren't the same lol)

[ausrache]

the man can’t play video games to save his life, he would have no idea what to do when shown a real rabbit, he will play lego though it’s between making something a child could make or being far too pedantic with it and he doesn’t wear alt fashion but damn does he love looking at mali in her alt fashion clothes 😌

𝘽𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙊 𝙎𝙃𝙀𝙀𝙏𝙎 / 𝘈𝘊𝘊𝘌𝘗𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 ➥ @starpoacher

"only two spots left? it's quite perfect." a dark brow was cocked, gaze narrowing at the filled out bingo sheet as a smile softened upon crimson lips. to say that she was content . . . it was perhaps an understatement. "hm, perhaps i shall introduce to moon? then we'll see . . . he's a very easy to handle bunny, also mostly consisting of pure fluff." lips parted for a light chuckle, already pondering about which lego set they could put together as a team. together . . . it sounded so nice. "would you want me to model some of the clothes i got? i think i have some new dresses & skirts —"

[ardenssolis]

@metrictita said (inbox):

❝ is there good and evil within us all? ❞ (from mali, maybe when she was still an eldritch god? or her fantasy verse!)

❝ONE HAS TO ASK the question of what is the meaning of good? And what is the meaning of evil? Is such a concept universal to all, or does it shift and change based on location and people? A good person could still harbor darker intentions beneath their pleasant façade just as one who harbors the opposite on the surface, could do good. And if one gives into their darker thoughts or one who is ‘evil’ does good, does that change whether they are good or evil? Such philosophical debates could go on forever with each individual you speaking to, holding their own thoughts and opinions on the topic.❞

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi there!

I had some questions (or statements I wanted to discuss I’m not sure what to call them) because I genuinely don’t know much about the subject. I’m on anon right now but I may comment on my own account later. Also don’t feel obligated to answer if this makes you uncomfortable.

So I was wondering if you could articulate any thoughts on proshipping in the kotlc fandom? I wanted to know your thoughts as from my understanding (and please correct me if I’m wrong) you see it pretty positively, and I wanted to better understand the ‘issue’ (idk what to call it)

Anyways I thought I should include what I already know.

So I understand that when people participate in proshipping it does not reflect their actual worldview.

I understand that it is fictional and really doesn’t affect real life.

I think my issue with proshipping has to do specifically with it happening in the kotlc fandom, and this has to do with Keeper of the Lost Cities being a kids series. My problem isn’t specifically with that, but mostly with the amount of “kids” participating in our fandom space (not actual kids like ten year olds but from my understanding we have an array of people from ages 13-16 who I would consider pretty young)

I just worry about when people make posts about, for example, one of the main cast and an adult in the series, because the Keeper casts ages may closely reflect the actual ages of people in the fandom, we’re creating an unsafe environment and these posts may affect what these ‘kids’ think is okay in real life or for themselves.

Anyways, I wanted to share my thoughts but I really mean it when I say I want to hear your thoughts, I don’t think I know enough about the ‘issue’, especially from the other perspective.

(Also, this isn’t really about your call out post about call out posts, I’ve just seen you liking some pro shipper stuff so I thought you might be interested in that sort of thing)

Hi! Thank you for being respectful about this. First, I avoid labels like "anti" or "proship," as they tend to create an unhelpful us vs. them dichotomy. Especially when, like these terms, they have strong associations and generate strong reactions upfront. It's not, in my opinion, conducive to productive conversation

I believe that all fiction, including disgusting, depraved, uncomfortable fiction, should be allowed to exist without restriction. Whether that's incestuous, predatory, or otherwise.

We don't have to read/watch it. We don't have to like it. Or be comfortable with it. But it needs to be allowed to exist.

It's existence does not harm us (the most that happens is we realize, we are uncomfortable, and then we stop watching/reading/etc. and move on), and there is no way to reliably moderate fiction. It will always be arbitrary, and those arbitrary distinctions will always be enforced by the privileged with power, who will use it to create their narrative and silence others.

The issue many people get stuck on, like you, is about children. Now I'm not saying this is what you're doing, but I'd like to bring up the Think Of The Children logical fallacy. It's a more recent one, so it's less known, and I'm just linking the wikipedia.

What it does is switch to emotional thinking, creating this idea of these helpless little things in danger we need to protect. It creates moral panic, because what are you gonna do? Argue against the children? You monster! It can shut things down.

And while children are young and still learning and need guidance, they're also people. They have their own thoughts, reactions, and choices. They use their childhood to practice that, which is aided by fiction. Fiction is a practice run for the real thing; it can be that learning and guidance

Children take what they see in fiction, where no real people are hurt or in these scary situations, and react. They form opinions, determine what they think is right or wrong, and they have more room for error. For example, it is safer for them to misjudge an actually malicious adult in a story, learn what the warning signs were, and be more cautious going forward with no real life consequence than to make that mistake for the first time with a real person.

This is just a general overview. To specifically address this fandom and its ships, I'm going to start with this: when you were 14, did you think it was okay to date an adult? Did you ever see incestuous art/fic and start wondering if it was okay to date your sister?

Yes, consistent, repeated exposure of concepts from influential places can normalize them. Is that a genuine risk here, or what is happening? Have you seen it happen before on a wide enough scale to be generally applicable? I, of course, cannot speak for everyone, but I already knew those weren't okay by the time I joined the fandom at 13. Yes, 13 is young, but 13 year olds are capable of complex thought and reasoning. Their minds aren't going to be changed that easily, and a lot of them would probably resent the implication (even if unintentional, this is nothing against you) they couldn't figure it out for themselves. At least I would've

And more specific to keeper again: we have maybe a handful of these "weird" and "gross" ships/aus/etc. Posted by a number of people I could likely count on one hand, incredibly infrequently. This is a genuine invitation to think it through: what is that going to do?

Is that from enough places with enough power to normalize these ideas? Who is seeing it? How impressionable are they? Have they already formed ideas of right and wrong? Will this change that?

The conclusion I've come to is: 13 years old is young in the grand scheme of things, but at 13 years old you are capable of complex thought. I don't think the limited number of these "objectionable" topics and posters, which/who can be easily avoided, is going to normalize or make people think it's okay irl. It didn't happen with us, did it?

And I think, to some extent, limiting exposure or controlling media access takes away agency and choice, and that young people being able to experience difficult concepts in fiction before seeing them in real life is beneficial. This often then leads to "but what if they read something really icky they hate!" to which I say, kids aren't going to do things they don't want to. They won't watch movies, shows, or read books about things they're uncomfortable with or disinterested in. I simply put the book down and read something else.

And if they're being forced to, that's a different problem, and the solution is not to make sure the media doesn't exist or they can't access it.

This has been long, broad, sometimes specific, and more all in the attempt to be thorough. What it boils down to is: I don't think what you're worried about is going to happen, or is even slightly likely enough to genuinely plan for or worry about (not that you're unreasonable for worrying, though), and I don't think there's any trustworthy course of action that would separate the "good" from the "bad" and reliably, fairly decide who can see it and when.

I hope this helps answer your questions :). I'm happy to talk about it more, though I don't want to devolve into arguing, so if that starts to happen (with you or anyone else), I will likely end the conversation.

[clazberryk]

HALP.

My lovely Baldurs gate peeps. I need you to answer me something.

So in my recent replays of the game I never seem to trigger stations simple plan speech. It is always the you are a complication I never saw. Speech. The one where he says thank you after telling that drow he is his own person.

Now I think it’s down to 2 things. When I do the shadow cursed lands I always go to the house of healing first (for the lute) and I kill malis. Then I do the bar and then the roll collector. After that I go to the mausoleum to prompt Raphael’s cut scene regarding the orthon. Then o do not go in.

I infiltrate moonrise. Do everything in them. Saving the prisoners the very last thing before I leave. Then I take the boat to last light with them and then long rest. Which prompts the thank you scene with our favourite vampire.

I will then speak to gallon and do the shadow not cursed thingy then finally move into general thos tomb and do all the lady shad stuffs Orthon Included.

Now my question is. Should I kill the orthon first when I originally prompt Raphael’s cut scene. Then leave the mausoleum once Yurgir is dead and then do everything else?

Or has that simple plan cut scene just been written over because my approval rating with Astarion is always exceptional by this point?

Please can someone clarify this. Because o do like that nice simple plan/can we talk scene.

@roguishcat @shewhowas39 @slothquisitor @loquaciousquark @asweetlovesong

Any help would be grateful.

[purplerakath]

Descendants 4 - Purpose vs Plot

Going to go into Spoilers for Rise of Red as I unpack what this movie was. I'm going to cover a lot, but the biggest one is 'what this film is doing' vs 'how this film does it.' As my teaser earlier suggested, the concept is good, the execution is... not so much.

First though...

Descendants is Kind of Weird

Descendants works far more than it has any right to. It is a quick merch cash grab on the part of Disney that through cast, costumes, and director is a much better film. It still doesn't fully work, but it just shouldn't work at all. But more than that each film has a handful of ideas that are just amazing. Never explored further, but amazing.

Audrey's explanation for why she thinks magic is bad is a very good temperature test of Auradonian self-importance and refusal to let others become nobility through pure hearted goodness. Forcing everyone not already in the uppercrust to stay out, and that's horrifying as a concept. Which we don't really explore later.

So that said, what's the good stuff here?

Relationships

So I don't feel the plot of Rise of Red was ever the priority, the priority was Red and Chloe, Chloe and Ella, and Red and Bridgette. The whole thing exists to do a look at our new leads learning how their mothers became the women they love.

These are where the film shines, when any two of those four are interacting we're good. Chloe's rules vs. Red's actions. Chloe realizing Red isn't a villain, so she can tell Red that. So Red might believe it. Ella's pragmatism vs. Chloe's idealism, when compared to Chloe's mother being the bastion of lawfulness that is Queen Cinderella. And then Red's skepticism with Bridgette's earnest nature. Which in turn is mirrored by the Queen of Hearts being a calloused tyranny.

That's what this film is about, and when it's doing this, it's pretty great. I have very few notes about this.

Fun aside: Red and Chloe are doing sort of a mix between Mal/Ben and Mal&Evie. Which means I don't think the plan is romance for them... but they feel pretty romantic as they do a lot of the Ben and Mal plot beats.

The Other Characters

Outside of those four, the rest of the cast is fine. Nothing sticks out as 'bad.' (Maly feels underused but the past VKs are there to serve looks and that's all. Which they do, very well.) Uma is very on the ball for her characterization prior. I expected to see more of Past Fay given how hesitant present Fairy Godmother was about Red, but nothing here is wrong.

They feel hollow because they aren't truly the point.

The Plot AKA Cowardice and Anti-Subversion

So the main comment I've seen is 'this film feels unfinished' which I can fully see. But I think it comes down to two significant issues. The first of which I've summarized up there as Cowardice.

The first Descendants the things that almost ended Auradon were almost always systemic issues in Auradon pointed at the VKs (making things worse). Jane's insecurity wasn't made by Mal, Mal exploited what was already there (because she's an 'ordinary' girl when she isn't allowed to learn magic). Jane wanted her mother's wand because of the ideals espoused by Audrey. And what saved Auradon was that Ben and Lonnie treated the VKs like people, and they choose to stand against their parents over that.

The second one toes a line between 'Uma is the villain' and 'Uma is right.' You can't extend this to Gil (a moron) or Harry (chaos incarnate), but when Uma and Ben talk, Ben realizes he is wrong and that's a pretty subversive take. Uma's methods are bad, of course, but her motives are great.

The third one, in spite of it's problems, has the final messages of 'fear is not the answer' and 'you don't sacrifice the future of nine people just because the tenth might be dangerous.' So it's still a message of breaking systems that are, by nature, cruel for cruelty's sake. Another pretty subversive answer.

...and here our villain is the villain, her act was meant to be cruel, and there's nothing further to it. It lacks the moral greyness of the other three films. That room between black and white they each need. That message is there, it's what Chloe learns from Ella about Red. But it isn't the plot.

Which is the first problem.

The Plot and Narrative Flow

So in the climax of the first film we see someone grab the wand and break the barrier. We assume it's Mal, because we're expecting Mal. Mal is struggling between her mother and Ben all film.

And it was Jane, who just wanted to be pretty and special.

The second film's twist come from Uma spelling Ben, shifting the dramatic weight away from 'Uma is right about Auradon' to 'Uma did that thing Mal did but she doesn't feel bad about it.' It switches gears and takes the momentum out of things.

The third film doesn't have any zig-zag like this, being the most narratively weak, but it also has like six plots going on vying for attention so it does shift gears every so often.

Having your first suspect for the big bad of your film be the correct suspect without any change in momentum feels wrong. So a lot of people picked that up, even if the girls did beat the bad guy, it feels too easy (because it was).

Equally, the ending feels like it's missing the... chaos, that comes with changing time. At the End of Teen Beach 2 there's a huge shift in everything after the timeline resets. Which poses a lot of questions the film can't answer, but it does make those questions obvious and visible.

This film? Not so much. Fundamentally changing the Empress of a walled off kingdom is a drastic change to the world and the final scene didn't suggest anything came of it. That's a pretty glaring omission on the plot.

Which paired with the lack of the plot shifting gears, and the lack of subversive message, all comes down to a hollow feeling at the end. Even if a lot of the film was good.

The End...?

And I want to be clear, I enjoyed this. Every practical set, prop, and costume felt good. The songs were great. It felt more musical-y than the previous three. It's a good ride except for that huge problem it has.

The special effects also felt really good, especially compared to the previous three. The lack of the previous characters (other than Godmother and Uma) didn't feel like a hole, it felt like just the story. A lot of this worked, and worked pretty well.

Just... wish they could do the stuff that worked, and give the plot a better ending.

Aside 2: Rotten to the Core is a better song. Red is a better character intro. It firmly sets up who Red is and her conflict far better than Rotten to the Core does for Mal. It also allowed Red to do far more crime and make her feel more proactive as a hero.

[victoryriders969789blog]

Urgent help is needed for my family🚨

✅ Verified campaign – please check the end of the story 🔍📌

Hello dears! I am Alaa and thank you for looking at us with compassion and I ask you to support my campaign to help me achieve my goal. I am in a dire need of your support now to help my family survive and be safe. Gaza is a very dangerous place to live in. I need your financial support to enable me to get the basic needs for my family until the Rafah crossing is reopened to transport my family to safety and peace. Please help my family survive through your small donations and sharing with others. Thank you so much for standing by those who in need😭🇵🇸

https://gofund.me/12523597

Vetted by @Gaza-evacuation-funds, my number verified on the list ( #4 ) and posted on my profile.

What about the people of Syria, Yemen, Lebannon OR WHAT ABOUT THE WOMANS BEING PERSECUTED IN IRAN?? WHAT ABOUT UKRAINE?? WHAT ABOUT TAIWAN THAT IS BEING PERSECUTED BY XI JINPING AND THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY??!! WHAT ABOUT HAITI AND THE CANNIBAL BARBEQUE???!! WHAT ABOUT VENEZUELA AND THE DICTATOR MADURO??!! WHAT ABOUT THE CUBAN PEOPLE BEING SLAUGHTERED BY DIAZ CANEL AND THE COMMUNISM??!! WHAT ABOUT THE BELARRUSIANS BEING VICTIMIZED BY LUKASHENKO??!! WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE OF LYBIA?? WHAT ABOUT THE TUAREG IN MALI?!! WHAT ABOUT THE CHRISTIANS BEING SLAUGHTERED AND PERSECUTED IN ALL AFRICA??!! WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE OF SUDAN?? WHAT ABOUT ROJAVA AND THE KURDS IN SYRIA?!! WHAT ABOUT NORTH KOREA THREATING JAPAN, SOUTH KOREA AND NOW INVADING UKRAINE ALONG WITH RUSSIA??!!

WHEN WOULD YOU TALK ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF??! OR MAYBE JUST YOUR COUNTRY HAS WAR, FAMINE, A DICTATORSHIP OR AN INVATION TO DEAL WITH?? JUST THE PEOPLE AND SOULS OF GAZA NEEDS ATTENTION?? SYRIA HAS BEEN IN A CIVIL WAR, BEEN THROUGH A DICTATORSHIP OF THE TYRANT BASHAR AL ASSAD AND EVEN THE SYRIAN PEOPLE HAS TO DEAL AGAINST THE ISLAMIC STATE!!! WHEN YOU WILL HELP THEM?! AND I ONLY HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR ONLY SUFFERING!!?? YOU ARE JUST LIKE ISRAEL!!! BOTH ISRAEL AND PALESTINE LOSTED THE GRACE OF GOD CAUSE YOU BOTH FORGET ABOUT JESUS!! JESUS SACRIFICE HERSELF!!! WOULD THE JEWS OR THE PALESTINIANS SACRIFICE THEMSELVES TO SAVE SYRIA OR THE WOMANS OF IRAN JUST LIKE JESUS CHRIST SACRIFICE HIMSELF ON THE CROSS???!!

ANSWER ME THAT!!

😡😠

[seenwip]

Below is some writing on addressing the fears of someone reading my journal, schadenfreude, malicious laughter, an exploration of ignorance, and a few words of encouragement.

Sometimes while I am writing in my journal I think about someone reading my journal. Maybe it's a family member or a curious neighbor as they're cleaning my stuff out. Maybe it's the person at goodwill that somehow got a hold of it when my stuff was donated, maybe it's a scientist in the future and they're holding it up and laughing with their colleagues. Best case scenario (or is it?) - my journal is trashed.

I know I'm not the only one that fears having my journal read (and sometimes this is from trauma and I am not talking about that in this instance because an invasion of privacy is a different matter). More specifically, I have this idea - or fear? That they'll know what's wrong with me. Not in a way like I was hiding secrets in my writing or whatever; but like they'll see what I don't see. They'll read between the lines where I am unable to. This fear stems from the idea that I think (feel) there's something wrong with me and I can't quite place what it is and trying to get help for it doesn't work because I can't explain it if I haven't figured it out and especially not enough to put into words.

As I type that, it sounds like paranoia. Let me give you an example. When I was young, I didn't know I was lactose intolerant. I just knew that eating every morning made me sick. At the time, I didn't have the understanding that something could make you sick besides a sickness. So I did not have the words to describe what was happening and was often dismissed to the point that I stopped eating breakfast in the morning. After several years (approx. 5 years?) I was in middle school and one of my friends told me she was lactose intolerant. I'd never heard of it & at the time I couldn't Google what was happening to me because I didn't have access. But there it was - the words and answer to what I was suffering from. Regardless of having neglectful parents in that situation (like seriously why the hell not take me to a doctor?) I could then tolerate breakfast. By tolerance, I mean at 27 I also found out I was gluten intolerant too (ha, yay - but that's another story).

I often think that maybe I don't have the right words to describe what is happening / what is wrong because I can't understand what is normal / not normal. It's like an awareness that there is more to the story but it's inaccessible. Do those details matter or could they make all the difference? So I keep exploring and journaling. Maybe I will stumble on the solution that psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors didn't. Maybe I'll finally come up with the right words to take to my care team and get things sorted!

OR.... Maybe I'll be laughed at by someone who reads my journal when I'm hopefully not here anymore. Specifically I imagine being judged or that they'll perceive my problems as stupid, irrational, lazy, or ignorant. Worse though, the laughter is what i'm afraid of - I don't want to be the source of someone else's pleasure based on my own pain or unintentional ignorance.

The thing is, I've judged others and laughed at others like this too. Now, my father was a sadistic butthole and sometimes I wonder if he's the one that taught me that. I don't laugh AT others nearly as much as I used to being away from him because I've learned others are struggling just as much as I am. The other side of this though, is that maybe it's human nature? Perhaps we laugh because it makes us feel better about our situation. I'm not saying it's right - it's wild to me that laughter may be morally wrong.

I'm still growing and learning - now with internet access - so it's faster.

I researched Socrates a bit and a passage where he was explaining the pleasure of malicious laughter to Protarchus.

"But this pleasure in the face of the bad things belonging to neighbors – did we not say that it was the product of malice? [P: Necessarily.] Our argument leads to the conclusion that if we laugh at what is laughable about our neighbors, by mixing pleasure with malice, we thereby mix pleasure with pain. For we had agreed earlier that malice is a pain in the soul, that laughing is a pleasure, and that both occur together on those occasions (49d-50a)."

It reminded me of a word I learned from Bren�� Brown's book "Atlas of the Heart." The word is Schadenfreude, pronounced sha-din-froy-da. It's combo of German words that mean "harm" and "joy."

What I'm getting at is if someone laughs at my journals or takes pleasure/joy in my suffering through life at times & doing my best to learn and grow - that's taking pleasure in my pain. I am not doing wrong by trying to live a better life and process my own life.

Ultimately, it should not deter me from writing in my journal thinking or knowing that someone could potentially judge me or laugh at me. It's a reflection of themselves rather than me, I guess I could also say it's a projection. I'd have to research those two words to see which one fits, but since the topic is ignorance. Heck, I'll leave it. Yes, I am ignorant. As we all are. That's okay & that's human nature. We grow and learn as much as we can - or at least some of us do. The rest seem to just laugh at those of us trying.

To myself and you - keep writing. Keep learning. Damn those that laugh at us for trying because that means they're not and that's a them problem, not a me or you problem.

[solanger]

tuesday, 18th june - 08:46

people! i have been gone for too long. let me summarise.

i am now back home, wales to england, aberystwyth to wokingham. it was a very hectic couple of days. i had to pack EVERYTHING and i definitely underestimated how much stuff i had. regardless, everything has now gone to a storage service, while i had to carry 6/7 bags back home. on a 6 and ¾ hour journey. by train. let's just say it wasn't easy (ha).

i left and arrived on friday last week, in time to surprise my dad before fathers' day! it was a great weekend. we first went to the cinemas on saturday to watch 'bad boys: ride or die'. incredibly funny film, and i'm glad will smith has been able to bounce back after the Oscars incident. that's another conversation since i have a-many opinions about it. then, on sunday, we went to church in the morning (i felt bad for yawning the whole way but i don't go to church). after that we headed to london, soho specifically. there was a chicken restaurant my mum booked us in for, and the food was amazing! this was also my first time in soho so i was quite excited. we also saw leigh francis, which was such a surprise. after food, we walked around central, from chinatown to trafalgar square. my sister and i even got our caricatures drawn! i didn't want one, but the guy did me justice. unfortunately, he scammed us when we repeatedly asked for a black & white but gave us a colour drawing. b&w = £20, colour = £40. so... yeah.

now, i lay in my bed telling myself i do need to get up soon. i really need a job and some managers are ghosting me (i think) so i will knock on their door to give me an answer.

not much to say, other than i hate hayfever.

talk soon!

mali

[lightichor]

hi! this is my blog for my oc universe which as of now ill dub the blacklightverse, however this will mostly focus on my rhythm adventure game concept that is currently going by the name of ‘Misitu Mash’ (this may change in the future) . its a vacuum world where my characters live that can interact with the human world as well as having characters from different time periods as well. it is mostly what one describes as a vacation spot.

what youll see here is probably goofy stuff that ive grabbed from my friends and i, but also lore sprinkled in as well. ill try to keep it tagged consistently but im pretty bad at it

not all characters have designs yet, and the story is still being tweaked and developed as i go. its a long passion project for me about generational trauma and defiance of destiny thats mostly centered around latinos and other people of color.

please feel free to ask questions ! i develop my world often by thinking of ways to answer stuff

want to get a feel for some characters? check out their playlists ! (wip!);

tekua , mango , tripl3 , mali , kina , clef , yu , vicente , oleander , niza , ajay

[saturrnss]

Young, dumb, and rich (chapter 2)

shuri x poc!fem!princess

(please reblog!)

They leave, saying their last goodbyes and you're left alone in your room, heart still beating fast from the last couple of minutes you just went through. Your open window lets you hear a slight commotion that's happening at the front of the castle, gradually growing louder and louder. You look through your window to see what's going on.

People crowd around a figure that you could barely see because people's bodies were blocking your view. Your mother comes to see what all the noise is all about, people clear the way for her and she freezes. She hugs the figure for a long time and starts to- kiss them? .

you walk out of your room to the front door of the castle to see who she could be kissing, you walk closer and closer to see that the person was your father, laughing as he kisses your mother back. "BABA!" you run to jump into his arms and he gets into a position ready to catch you. you almost clash into him.

when you lift your head up you see he's grown a beard, and is wearing a vibrant pattern of clothing. "baba where have you been?!" "you'll see. Soon" he puts you down and goes into the castle to see your other siblings, everyone following him bombarding him with questions and important stuff.

You do your stuff as usual for the next day and a half but something was, different. Everyone was hiding something from you, it was like it was this really big inside joke but everybody in the world gets it but you. Even staff you considered your friends would run away or change the topic whenever you even as so as to hinted a question about it.

Mali knew about it too, the only person who seemed just as confused as you was was power. It started to really get you down so you just spent more time in your room, The guilt slowly started to eat at your parents so, they called you to their room and had a talk with you.

"as your parents, we think you are responsible enough to make the right decision," your mother says while looking at your father for guidance. "and we fully understand if you get mad at us." your father says.

"About what??'' you say dumbfounded. "...we're going on a trip" your mother blurts out. "...oh,ok?" that's what it was all about, a trip? "well you should probably get going now!" your mother says taking your hand and speed walking you out of the room and closing the door

Still a little bit suspicious but overall okay with the answer given, you go back to your room, doing whatever random shit you were doing before because it's the 1600s and you can barely do anything

You servants help you get into you, take off your clothes, take a bath, put on your night clothes and get into bed, they exit your room and turn off the lights but you still can't sleep, tossing and turning- unsure of what tomorrow is going to bring, you don't know why but you can't shake off the feeling that somethings gonna happen, something different

but exciting.

A/N: I know this is very short but i promise that shuri will get introduced in the next chapter

(wattpad is saturnshaze)

[sinisterlutist]

Hehe late night Demands [gun emote here] 3, 15, 16, 23, 25, 29, 31, 33, 35, 37, 39, 41, 43, 45, 47, 49, 51, 53, 57, 59, 61, 63, 69. Also u can't say Joltik is ur fave electric AND bug type u gotta pick it for only oNE

(✨w✨ ) ouhohohouuu,,, (also >:0 rude!!! Mah poor spood! … wait hold on that works out well for one of my other faves…)

…. You (accidentally-ish) picked these numbers like a teacher giving math homework.

3. Favorite dual type

Is this like, favorite type combination? Or favorite pokemon that IS a dual-type? What does this question mean? Most of my faves are dual-types. For a little whimsy I’ll answer… like this.

I think, conceptually, we need a water/ghost type that’s a terrifying deep sea legendary. For that matter, Gamefreak, give me Dive back! I want more underwater stuff!

That said, I think the most OP combination on a pokemon I’ve ever had is either Marshadow’s Ghost/Fighting or Hisuian Zoroark’s Ghost/Normal. Type immunities that are also ghost-types my beloved.

15. Favorite shiny

Favorite shiny legendary HAS to be shiny Dawn Wings Necrozma. The deep blue and soft pink go so well together, and I am fortunate to have one made out of a shiny Necrozma I got from a trade and a shiny Lunala I caught myself (named Merlot!)

Favorite regular shiny… well, I have a lot, honestly, but I’m going to go with shiny Lampent. It’s one of my most favorite shinies of one of my most favorite pokemon. I LOVE its palette, and I wish those colors had stayed into Chandelure. There’s sooo many I want to put here but I told myself this was getting restricted before it turned into the song list question. (I did these out of order.)

Special mention to Wo-Chien, for doing with its palette that Leafeon did not: FALL COLORS! I… I really need that cryptid grass snail.

16. Least favorite shiny

Alright this is one I had to check the dex for, because it’s something I tend to forget until I see it. There’s also a lot of these I’ve never really seen.

Shiny Kantonian Moltres is a really good contender, that thing looks like a plucked chicken on fire. Those are really unfortunate colors.

Mismagius is also unfortunate. Great pokemon, great normal colors, but that yellow is pretty hideous.

Swoobat, why? Scrafty… I don’t like Scrafty anyway but the shiny is worse.

OOH ALOLAN GRAVELER! That’s a moldy orange. It even has hair. And poor Pyukumuku, why green and yellow??

23. Favorite music track from a pokemon game

This is an awful, terrible question. I have SO MANY and this is likely going to be longer than it should bc I can’t discount any of them. There WILL be some I forget and it’s going to kill me later but here we go. These are in no particular order.

• Midnight Theme (Hisui)— it’s a shame the midnight theme is so short, because it genuinely makes me happy to be running around in the night, looking at the stars, watching the moon move through the sky… I know a lot of people rag on the graphics of PLA, but, I think it was really beautiful.

• Ancient Retreat— something about the ancient retreat music sounding like it’s made of clocks, as a little nook lost to time. And it’s truly so relaxing. Not just as a track, but as an experience, the first time we’re brought there, led by Volo after everything that’s happened that day… I associate this track with just… some peace. It’s relaxing to think about sitting next to the river, crafting pokeballs or carving clefairy dolls while Volo’s sleeping against his backpack and Cogita making tea… it’s the theme of a safe place. I miss that time.

• Malie City (night)— This was such a relaxing theme, and I was glad I played Moon and Ultra Moon because of the time swap, so that I got to hear this theme more often :)

• Po Town— more of an ambient track, really, with the constant rain in the background. I liked this one so much I made it the little online area’s theme in Ultra Moon.

• Unwavering Emotions— I don’t know exactly WHY, because I don’t think it ever plays when he’s onscreen, but my mind ALWAYS associated this song with N and it makes me want to scream. (Though they did use a beautiful acoustic guitar remix of it for him in PokeMas, and it just felt right.)

• Farewell— this one IS played with N, right at the very end of BW, and, similarly, makes me want to scream. I can’t go into full detail bc I’m so bad at explaining it but. hhhhhh. (I have this statement that I make of yes, we play the role of “protagonist” in BW, but I maintain that the main character of the story is really N, and we’re just seeing it from a different point of view. The credits roll when he leaves.)

• Rt 10 (Unova)— I don’t even know how to describe this one. In general the Unova soundtrack is SO GOOD, but you can really feel something here. It’s got a mellowness to it that just hits so well for being right before victory road. There is. So much here, and I don’t understand many songs with lyrics as much as I understand the route 10 music.

• Driftveil City— you know this one. you know it’s a jam.

• Team Plasma battle theme— a lot of times, the team battle themes get kinda repetitive to me, but Plasma was an utter exception. What an ABSOLUTE MONSTER of a track. I always looked forward to battling the Plasma Grunts.

• Seafolk Village (night)— another town in Alola that I liked to kind of just park the game at for a while to just enjoy the night and the music. Very relaxing.

• Undella Town (spring, autumn, winter)— this one is just so peaceful. The waves crashing worked in and everything… it feels like sunset.

• N’s Room— I love N’s theme in general, it’s so fitting for him (& despite being one of my favorites it’s close enough to this that I am TRYING to pare it down), a little mysterious and odd and wonderful— so entering his room in the Plasma castle to hear a sort of eerie broken music box version of his theme, in this room meant for a much younger person, the room where he’s been stuck, and lied to basically all his life… it gets the point across.

• Burgh’s Gym (BW2)— Burgh’s remodeled gym was SO cool and SO bug. The music that played fit the atmosphere perfectly, in an eerily calming way. I parked BW2 here a lot.

• Obsidian Fieldlands theme 1— first of all, one of the reasons I loved this one so much was I was IMMEDIATELY reminded of Burgh’s Gym theme in the first part. I think I remember the first time this particular theme played was when I was wandering the Fieldlands after the night theme had ended, and I got to a new area on the map. Then the cello (or bass?) kicked in, and everything aligned for this brilliant sense of wonder that really got me into the world. It’s really pretty, and really relaxing.

• Volo’s battle theme— where do I even begin? I know a lot of people chalk this up as a mere Cynthia piano redux, but… I think there’s so much of Volo in this song. It’s a serious fight, but one that was so much fun— and that’s reflected in the song. After the imposing start, you hear the playful woodwinds poking in, dueling with violins, and by the time the bells hit, I was just completely enraptured by it— and the whimsy continues into an ending-theme-sounding part that… well, it doesn’t sound like a hardcore antagonist theme to me. Nor does Volo feel like a hardcore, truly evil antagonist. Most importantly, those whimsical, light-hearted, fun parts of the song are entirely his. There’s no such lightness that plays in the piano track before Cynthia’s champion battle. This is Volo’s theme, there’s much more to him, and I think this reflects that SO very well.

• Rt 15 (Kalos)— ah yes, the theme of eternal fall. This isn’t just a nice track, but it really serves well to remind me of how the route looked. It’s also very fitting for the later Mamoswine trail, as several different parts in the song sound like you’re pushing forward through the snow, or making your way through the ruins in rt 15. It’s a song that sounds like it ought to be in a high fantasy series. With adventure, there is tribulation.

• Slumbering Weald— a fitting track for the spooky woods Right Next To Your House. It’s like a light-hearted mystery- until the voices of the legendary wolves can be heard. There is something IN the woods, and it is not just a myth.

• Crown Shrine— I think, in my opinion, the best song in SwSh. It’s ancient and majestic, but supremely relaxing. You respect it, and it will take care of you.

• Coronet Highlands (Summit)— this one is leaking atmosphere EVERYWHERE. You can hear the iciness, you can tell something is different. The air has changed, and you are getting closer to something. There’s a bit of danger to it, like the song itself is a warning. The vocal parts are a nice addition too.

• Relic Castle— another one I can’t quite explain outside of the sense of wanting to keep going, looking deeper, and finding out what’s in here. Well-crafted for a castle buried in the sands.

• Mt Lanakila (League)— another beautiful mountain theme. You can hear the snow crystals falling. It’s different from the victory road theme- you’ve made it all the way here. But you’re not done yet. It’s a little beautiful, and a little imposing.

Special mention to Verdanturf Town (RSE) for being one of my original favorites back when Emerald was the only one I’d played, and Glimwood Tangle for its wonderful use of pizzicato and woodwinds to make a spooky little atmosphere :) Also to the music that plays in the cutscene right before you battle the frenzied Lord Arcanine in PLA for genuinely running a shiver down my spine. That was straight out music from a horror scene and it was AWESOME. And also to the Battle Giratina theme (Hisui) for the section of it that sounds like a heartbeat monitor slowing and flatlining. AMAZING.

25. Favorite design of a pokemon

*tap tap taptaptaps table in front of me* I actually can answer this with purely no actual in-game connection bc it’s JUST THE LOOK!

Wo-Chien! It’s a cryptid-looking grass snail! It’s got VINES and LEAVES all over it and it has been one of the things I’ve been looking for in a pokemon design for a while now! Get a little cryptid with it! Get a little spooky with it! I can’t think of any fault with the look of this funky leaf pile snail guy. And its shiny is fall colors?? Perfect.

29. Favorite normal type

Hisuian Zoroark. I was thrilled to see that one of my favorites was given a variant, and it ended up being such a strong typing combo as well! I got very attached to my boy Pollix, and he did an excellent job. Before PLA, I think Hoennian Linoone.

31. Favorite fire type

Hisuian Typhlosion. My favorite fire type starter gets a ghost-type upgrade and beautiful flames and colors? There was no question what starter I was picking in PLA. I made the right choice, as Kastor was both good company and an invaluable team member.

33. Favorite fighting type

Marshadow!! I didn’t really like any fighting types enough to have a favorite before the marshmallow lad. Nice shape, cool effects.

35. Favorite water type

Pyukumuku, founding member of the Bean Committee (Pyukumuku, Snom, & Pincurchin). That’s just a little creature. Why is he made to fight? He’s just a guy. What a shape.

(Once again though, special mention to Tatsugiri bc I haven’t played SV and thus don’t know if I can properly count them here, but I gotta get me one of those curly lads)

37. Favorite flying type

Some years ago, this would’ve been Rayquaza. And while I do still have a soft spot for the big ol snake, in recent times I’ve acquired quite an appreciation for Togekiss, the peace and love owl. Volo and his Togekiss influenced me similarly to how N and Zoroark did, and aside from what raising a Togekiss from a Togepi says about Volo, I love Togekiss’ cry and pillowy marshmallow shape. Where it appears in the Ranger game Shadows of Almia speaks a lot to it too. I would like to hug a fluffball of a bird :) (Noivern was a close contender though, I love its design and movement)

39. Favorite grass type

Had I played SV, this would almost certainly be Wo-Chien. I’m not kidding, I love that grass snail’s look. As I’m answering this differently though, this title is instead shared by Lurantis and Alolan Decidueye. Before I even played Moon, I’d drawn a little Lurantis with a necktie and called him Peppermantis. Decidueye was such a nice design, with its little archer cloak and hoodie strings, feather arrows… and the ghost typing was a lovely surprise! Twos, my boy, you are excellent.

41. Favorite poison type

I thiiiink Dragalge? I love the leafy sea dragon look to it. I do also like Nihilego, best jellyfish pokemon, and the story with it and Lusamine

Special mention to Clodsire. I would like one. Friend shaped.

43. Favorite electric type

JOLTIK!! I love a little spider. He’s so cute, and I knew the first time I saw one in Chargestone Cave in Unova I needed to have one. I loved how jittery they were in the gen 5 sprites, which will always be my favorite representation of them. If I was in-universe, I’d have one just as a little buddy that didn’t battle. My first ever Joltik (now a Galvantula) is named Jirii and remains in my copy of Ultra Moon for the time being.

45. Favorite ground type

SANDSLASH. A cute little friend, very good for digging. I had one named Rune on my first team, back in Emerald, and she went on to be in the Hall of Fame there. Excellent shape. Cute spines.

47. Favorite rock type

For a while this probably would’ve been one of the fossil pokemon, maybe archeops or omanyte, but I never really had a proper favorite rock-type until Lycanroc (specifically midday or dusk), and then PLA came out and dropped Hisuian Arcanine in my lap, so they get to share this title. (Special mention to Naclstack, because once again, while I haven’t played SV I love that little guy? The name is so fun to say and it’s a clever name, and the dude looks like a Minecraft creature and I Want One.)

49. Favorite ice type

My beloved angry snowflake Cryogonal. The first one I got in BW, Gel, caught my attention with his immaculate geometry, crystalline cry, and fancy little face chains. Gel may be grouchy, but we are friends, and Cryogonal remains my favorite icy lad despite the introduction of Snom, who is the runner-up. (Killian the Snow Frolicker, I love you.)

51. Favorite bug type

Volcarona! It’s one of my favorites, but unfortunately, as it kept being only available later on, I’ve never really had one incorporated into a team. BUT ITS A BIG FLUFFY CECROPIA-LOOKIN MOTH AND I LOVE IT

53. Favorite dragon type

Gonna go with my old standby, the original cute little snek, Dratini! It’s just so cute and Shaped and I love it. Best quality: his wiggles.

57. Favorite dark type

Zoroark. I like it in its own right as well, of course, cause it’s ability is really neat and the design is one of the BEST and it’s so FLUFFY, but my first real encounter with Zoroark was as N’s “last friend.” Receiving his Zorua in BW2… I took it on my team, and I still have it. That was my first Zoroark, and I’ve loved the species ever since.

59. Favorite psychic type

In the interest of trying to not repeat species, I’m going to put Sigilyph here instead of Dawn Wings Necrozma. What is a Sigilyph, you ask? I don’t rightly know. But it sure is a Creature and it has a very nice ability, and to the lovely Garia in my BW game I gave a Rocky Helmet, and she did me many favors in battle. As a rule, if you give me a Funky Little Thing, I will almost certainly love them, Sigilyph being no exception. Reuniclus is the runner-up, nice cell friend.

61. Favorite steel type

Alolan Sandslash and Corviknight! You’ve seen my thing about Sandslash, a lovely shimmery spiky friend. Corviknight, though- I love me a corvid and this great big bird was lovely to have in SwSh. I named mine Somnus, and with his ribbon he is Somnus the Great Friend. :)

63. Favorite fairy type

Mimikyu!! As previously mentioned, what’s better than a funky little guy that you might die from viewing directly that wants love? Also I have a plushie Mimikyu in a scarecrow costume I got a few years ago and I love my terrible son. His name is Kyuvi.

69. Favorite pokemon card

I’ve never really been into the TCG? I’ve played a little bit of the virtual one, but that was because the pokemon newsletters kept handing out codes for it and I went “well why not” and gathered a few of them from those packs. I also have never seen most of the cards. The thing is, though, that I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try to get packs a little harder after they revealed this Volo card. (Image from tumblr user jadeazora)

I love the way it looks like there’s sunbeams falling onto him. Very pretty card, lovely art, and perhaps one day I will have one of my own that’s not virtual.

—————

*sigh* WHOOF. okay that one took a long time, but it is done!! I have a great many feelings about game osts,,, but thanks for that question, honestly.

Sorry I answered so many of these with multiples but I mean there’s over 1000 pokemon, I can’t just pick one.

「x」

[graftisms]

BEACH HUT CONFESSIONALS 12: JOSHUA VARGAS DAY THIRTY-FOUR

how are you feeling in your decision to couple up or stay single ?

“ really fucking good, actually, ”   josh laughs, unable to hide the pride from his voice.   “ things with naomi have been better than i had thought they’d be. it’s like we’re back in the first few weeks of being here, getting to know each other, but she’s no longer holding back from me. the hideaway was... wow, that place is insane. i hope you guys powerwash everything in there afterwards, ”   he smirks.   “ i had been a little afraid we got it at a shitty time, after the mali stuff, but i think it made us stronger than ever. i’m just... yeah, i’m really happy. ”   as if the big grin on his lips doesn’t show it enough.

are you happy in your couple or do you think your head could be turned ?

he’s quick to shake his head.   “ no, thank you. no more bombshells for me. naomi and i aren’t even coupled up right now, granted, but when i told her she was it for me here, i meant it. if she had left last night like rhys, i would’ve pulled a seb too. one of the few things i’ve ever respected him to do, frankly. but i’m also not in a rush to recouple with naomi, because it gives us an excuse to sleep outside, away from everyone else... ”   his voice trails off, with another smug smile.   “ let’s just say we’ve been making use of the alone time. ”   not that it’s going to stop them in the bedroom, either. 

what are your thoughts on seb & bash & rhys’ exit last night ? 

the smile on his lips wilts a bit.   “ uh, i think you can guess how i feel about that. it sucked seeing rhys go, obviously. even today, i keep expecting him to pop up wherever i go. making my coffee this morning ?   sucked. he was one of the few friends i had when i was at my lowest here, so yeah, ”   josh swallows,   “ i’m gonna miss the guy. even if he’s off getting laid with his new boyfriend in jersey or doing wherever. seb’s still on my shit list, though, even if him leaving with rhys was a good move. i don’t care what people think about naomi, but if he keeps running his mouth about her, he’s going to find me on his doorstep once i get out of here. ”   and not in the fun visit rhys way.   “ but bash was a good kid, i’ll miss him too. i told him he should’ve brought back another bombshell. this whole thing could’ve ended differently. ”

out of everyone left, who would be the hardest person to see go ?

“ you mean besides naomi ? ”   he asks, already knowing the answer to that. josh has already made it clear her leaving would be the end of the line for him, too.   “ romi and marcus, for sure. we’ve all been here since the beginning now, i’d kill me not to have them by my side, romi especially. though i don’t know what she’s doing with marcus and the italian dude over there, but hopefully she lets one of them off the hook soon. i vote mario, ”   he snorts.   “ miles, too. he’s only been here for, what, a week ?   and i can’t imagine being here without him, especially with rhys gone. frankie too, i guess. ”   spoken like an afterthought.   “ she’s grown on me. ”

who seems like the strongest couple right now and why ?

“ with marcus and romi in limbo, i don’t think there’s a clear winner, ”   he considers the question, scratching the back of his neck.   “ maybe i’m biased, but i do think once we’re actually coupled up together, naomi and i have a pretty clear advantage. everyone else is just so new. miles and frankie seem pretty strong, too, but it could be because i hang out with them so much. they’re the same brand of weird, ”   josh shrugs.   “ i still vote naomi and me. i don’t care what people say. ”

who seems like the weakest couple right now and why ?

“ well, i think the public made that one kind of obvious. gotta say, i was surprised to see dylan and adela below naomi and charlene, but that probably just means people like naomi more, which i get, ”   he smirks.   “ maybe adela will listen to me now when i tell her to keep her options open. no offense to dylan, but he’s starting to look like a bad luck charm in these relationships. ”   so much for friendship there.

[benefits1986]

Third Wheel, Free Will

Shattered love stories make my hidden heart and soul bleed wildly.

As an empath with a wicked mind and mouth, I still find it curious when some people come and share their stories that revolve around being cheated on and cheating. And by share, I mean too much TMI that is not only cringe, but, ego-crushing and heart-wrenching, too. There'd be times when I know that even my rare super tight empath hugs will never ease their pains, anguish and self-loathing. Ganun kalala.

While XXs are the usual suspects and prospects of being "kabit," I guess hearing XYs bare their souls about this matter is really a different ballgame. 'Di pa rin ako sanay kasi nga, it's a cheater man's world, after all naman talaga e. LOL. Must be because some XY who are part of my smaller inner circle have had serious cases in this department, too. That said, let me try sharing some answers to questions that have been asked to me by so-called victims of love: XX and XY edition. Let me disclose din na I am not part of any third party kahit kailan, kahit saan at kahit sino. It makes me cringe kasi talaga as in. It's not part of my ecosystem mula noon hanggang mamatay ako. Also, simple lang naman ang view ko sa love: 'Pag akin, akin lang pero 'wag clingy. Saktong cling wrap lang. Markahan lang namin isa't isa. Period. 'Yung alam ko at alam niya na kahit we're not home, we're each other's home. As an old soul ako kahit walang bakas ng ganun. LOL. Okay.

Masaya ako 'pag kasama siya. Ngayon ko lang 'to naramdaman pero alam ko namang mali. Mali bang maging masaya? Hindi mali maging masaya. Emotion 'yan pero ang tanong: what comes after 'yung masayang pagsasama n'yo? Paranoia? Mocking yourself? Rationalizing shit? Masaya ka sa idea na limited time kasi, limited offer. Scarcity is sexy pero 'di naman sa ganitong takada, pakiusap.

Alam kong mali pero bakit 'di niya ako pinipili? Still falls under the human nature na 'pag hindi mapasayo, may certain level ng excitement, ng challenge, ng thrill. Nasabi ko na 'to several times irl: 'Di ka talaga pipiliin kahit kailan kasi ang asawa pa rin ang only one sa mata ng Diyos at sa mata ng batas. Gusto mo kasi na piliin ka para magkaroon ka ng self-worth. Sadly, walang ganun. Gumising ka.

Karma ba 'to? I don't think this would fall under karma because all is fair and unfair in love and hate naman. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. People are both good and bad, parang Wicked lang 'yan. Lahat may Elphaba and Glinda. Are people born wicked? No. People are made of good and bad choices. Sarte pasok.

Bakit 'di ako puwedeng sumaya? Happiness is an emotion. Sadness is an emotion. Love is an action. Love is a choice. Doon ka sa pipiliin mo lagi't lagi AT pipiliin ka lagi't lagi. Be with someone who you outgive and i-outgive ka rin. Period. Doon ka sa bubuo ng 100% partners in crime araw-araw. Doon sa 100% na sa'yo at 100% ka ring kanya. Baseline 'yan. Non-negotiable 'yan.

Kaya ko pa bang makahanap ng ganitong vibe? Iba talaga e. It's a solid yes. Ano bang meron sa kabitan kagulo na vibe? Exciting, hindi boring. Challenging kasi ng limited time, limited offer. May chances of getting caught so that means may inclination ka sa something kinda feisty, baseline. Or gusto mo ng thrill. So hanapin mo 'yan. Chase is an XY thing so, gawaan mo ng paraan na ikaw ang hahabol kesa ikaw 'yung hinahabol. For XX naman, reco ko eto irl is gusto mo kasi 'yung "full attention" nasa iyo, so hanap ka naman ng XY na 'di nagpho-phone 'pag kausap ka. NOTE na super important: 'Pag magkasama kayo, nakabackside up ang phone and naka-silent lalo 'pag naguusap kayo ng mga importanteng stuff. Also, 'pag naman nagsagot ng call at work or family matters, 'wag kang mag-maarte kasi 'di naman ikaw lang ang mundo niya.

Naniniwala kasi akong vibe is just a matter of being mutually weird together and apart. 'Di ko sure kung idealistic ba ako o baka dahil ito sa very graphic-fantastic first meet-cute ko nung Prep. Hahahahaha. Parang nadala ko na siya sa flow ko be it an XX or XY get-to-know stage. 'Di 'yan about sa dami ng commonalities or differences niyo. Bonus points na lang kung pareho or similar kayo ng gusto at 'di gusto. Nasa paguusap 'yan na naguugat sa willingness ninyong maging vulnerable. LUH.

Bakit parang gusto ko siyang iligtas sa shit niya? Never been married, never been kissed. CHOZ sa kissed. Hahahahaha. Pero, based on the TMI married couples stories ay married life is not a joke. Rewarding siya rarely kasi nga people marry for fucked up reasons like convenience, not wanting to grow old alone kahit lonely sila sa kasama nila, fame, fortune, having kids because pressured ng social constructs atbp. Ayoko na i-exhaust ang list kasi we don't have time for that.

So, ang sinasabi ko: There's always two people who have faults sa bawat broken marriage vows. Nood ka ng The World of the Married and Marriage Story sa Netflix o sa kung saan mang platform mo gusto para free. I watched both with dad kasi nga bonding namin manood ng Netflix 'pag may time. Sabi ng tatay ko: Iba na talaga generation ngayon. Grabe ang sakitan. Ano 'yan? Nakakasakit ng dibdib, anak. Hahahahahaha.

Bottomline: Iligtas mo muna sarili mo because this shit of yours is a sunken ship. Period. Kung gusto mo talagang iligtas 'yung isa, tigilan mo na siya kasi 'di mo siya "mahal" kung everytime magkasama kayo e, a demerit sa legal husband or wife niya. Hintayin mo na lang mag-divorce or mag-annulment sila. Tapos. 'Di ba, willing to wait ka naman? Patunayan mo ngayon na ngayon na 'yan.

'Di ba ako worthy mahalin? Bakit 'di ako 'yung pinipili at the end of the day or night? Simple lang sagot. Lagot. 'Wag ka mag-expect na mamahalin ka ng kahit sino maliban sa magulang mo at aso mo kung mismong ikaw e hindi mo mahal sarili mo. Iba naman 'yung self-loathing sa allowing yourself in external situations na literal and figurative na sumasawata sa pagkatao mo.

Hindi ka rin pipiliin kasi nakapili na siya. Sorry. Sorry not sorry din.

I've witnessed this super up close. Maayos na XY, established as in. Matayog ang lipad. Pero, nagkaroon ng anak sa iba. Nung natrouble ng malala, umuwi sa pamilya. Bumalik sa asawa at mga anak. 'Yung kabila, never na nakita 'yung "ama" ng kabilang bahay nila up until the day he died. Hindi rin inamin nung XY ever na may iba at may anak siya sa labas hanggang sa hukay. JUSQ. Ang saklap kasi witness ako mismo ng BTS and "in front of the scenes" netong paganaps na 'to. I wept so badly and until now, I'm bearing the pain of this story. 'Di ko tatay 'yan a. Para clear and super clear. :D Kung tatay ko 'yan, 'di ganyan turn of events kasi... hahahahahahaha.

Kaya ko ba 'tong lusutan? Parang wala ng way out. Kahit naman deadend ang kabitan kagulo, isang good choice to turn around and walk away lang 'yan each and every time. 'Di naman 'yan agad-agad. Minsan pa nga, narealize mo na lang nung nagkaroon ka na ng anak na bunga ng maling pag-ibig. LOL. Pipiliin mo lang talaga 'yung sarili mo at gagawaan mo ng paraan na mawala na 'yung pagpili mo sa isang bagay na ikaw din naman ang gumusto at nag-try lumusot. Kaya nga may wedding ring, may marriage bans, and all, e para maiwasan ang ganitong shit. 'Pag may wedding ring, ekis na agad. Kung 'di naman suot, aba, magtaka ka na.

Ayun lang naman for today kasi sumasakit na naman puso ko sa mga ganitong usapan. 'Di ako product ng shitty kabitan kagulo pero dad ko way back nung college siya is dalawa girlfriend. 'Yung isa nanay ko. 'Yung isa, highschool shitheart niya. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I've seen how my super duper confident mother dragon went down in shambles at the slightest pakaliwa ng dad ko. Hahahahahaha. Sabi ni dad, pumipili pa raw siya noon. Hayup siya. Pero, kaya niya pinili si mom kasi sa kanya siya naging mas mabuti at buong tao 'di umano. LELS. So, siguro, eto rin 'yung part sa akin na sobrang cringe ako 'pag may mga paganaps na pagpapaselos or may ibang gusto ang mga nakaka-interact ko sa sphere ng love life. Matic alis ka na dito sa harap ko real quick. Naging 99.9% faithful naman tatay ko sa kanilang marriage vows lalo nung nagkasakit mom ko ng malala. Karma. CHOZ. Hahahaha. Joke lang 'yun a. Kidding aside, ayoko lang kasi nakikita mom ko na sobrang hyper vigilant sa dad ko. Isang maling kaliwa o kanan lang 'pag dating sa "girls" tepok talaga dad ko. Sabi nga niya: Takot talaga ako sa nanay mo, 'nak. Me: Awaw. Talaga ba dad? Parang hindi naman kasi 'di pa kayo kasal, pusakal ka na. Sabi naman ni dad: Nak, 'di naman masamang pumili e. Kung baga, tinitignan kung sino ba talaga sa dalawa ang pinaka okay maging nanay ng mga anak ko. Me: Tacca. 'Di lang dalawa kwento ni mommy.

Natawid ko na rin naman itong shit chapter ng parentals ko, so, all goods. Good deals na tayo. And andun na rin ako sa point na gusto ko balikan ni dad 'yung balo niyang highschool shitheart para malaman niya talaga kung tama decision niya mula noon hanggang ngayon. Actually, noon vindictive ako e. Pero ngayon, kung saan siya masaya since officially single naman siya, go lang. Excited din akong malaman ang sagot sa tanong na 'to. Pero sabi ng dad ko: Sabi ng nanay mo, kahit sino basta 'wag lang si... LOL. Aba. Defying death ba si dad or death-defying? Abangan! Buti na lang 'di chixxx 'yung HS shitheart niya. LOL. Mom ko kasi 24-36-24 nung college siya e, so 'yung pa lang, alam na this. Sanaol may ganung vital stats. LELS. Hahahaha. Hiyang-hiya ako e. Parang mga Grade 3 ko yata vital stats 'yan tapos no turning back na from there.

Anway, tapusin ko na 'tong shitpost na 'to because... marami pang labada at try kong matulog ng hindi lampas 1 AM. :) Bukas ulit!

[ralhshsstuff]

02.18.2023 02:34 pm

twh:

i was doing my acads stuff when my mom asked me, "nganong naa may hugaw aning blouse nimo?" so, i directly answered her, "wala ko kabalo ma, basin sa hanger na, nadikit maong naa" pero, wala jud ni stop ug yaw-yaw akoang mama. medyo naulit nako kay exhausted kaayo ko sa akoang academics stuff and she kept on saying na aha daw lagi to nakuha ang hugaw biskan gi tubag na nako. so, medyo ni heavy na akoang nasulti kay i feel humiliated kay naa siya sa veranda and dako kaayo siya'g tingog so I told her, "ngano dinhaa ka mag yaw-yaw ma, pwedi manka dinhia sa sulod dili dinhaa kay kusog imuhang tungod" in a way na lain kaayo daghan maka dungog in a snap suko kaayo siya. to the point grabe na niyang yawyaw and pamalikas sa akoa. "yawa ka, animal kang piniste ka... etc." na freeze nalang jud ko sa gi ingkuran nako kay nikalit siya'g ka in-adto. gi uyon-uyunan na daw ko niya sa batasan nako wala na daw koy maayo na gipa kita ug gitubag basin gusto daw ko yaw-yawan ko niya sa gawas. see? what kind of mindset is that? in the first place she's knows the answer na blind ko behind sa hugaw sa blouse nako pero she keep on insisting gihapon. yawa ra. toxic kaayo ka ma, murag gibali nimo ako pay bastos sa situation. every kasaba ipagawas nimo na mali nako na lain kog batasan na kabalo manka ikaw ga provoked sa isa ka tao ngano masuko. gikapoy ka ma sa batasan nako? parehas rata. dili ko masuko kung maminaw sab ka ug ma comprehend nimo akoang gisulti. slow lang ka ba ma or gusto gyud nimo na mali ko permi? kapoy nako ma, gikapoy nasab kos batasan nimo. nagka dugay gi proved lang nimo na mas maayo ka sa lain siblings nako kesa akoa. porket wala pakoy work and sila mas makahatag nimo maong mas maayo ang relationship ninyo na mas okay sila? ayaw ka worry ma maningkamot ko maka human. biskan kwaon pa nimo ning balay imuha nalang kay I don't think I'll spend my fucking life here sa balay na dili nako matawag ug real home.

[aaronburch]

1/1 — “Maly, Maly, Maly” by Anthony Veasna So

from Afterparties, originally published in The Paris Review

I think what will stick with me here is how much it felt like an emotional arc of a story, rather than something more plotty. By the time it gets to Maly looking at the baby and saying “I’ve changed my mind. She’s actually pretty cute.” To which the narrator adds, “And this, out of everything, is what chokes me up,” I felt a little choked up as well.

The “plot” mostly feels like it is there for So to hang a bunch of great stuff on — about being Khmer, and Californian, and gay, and sometimes how those things intersect and other times just each on their own; about growing up, and the summer before you move away to college; getting high with friends; and movies and TV shows. My favorite passage might be the characters talking about Videodrome. 

“The fuck’s a Videodrome?” ...  “It’s about this lame white guy,” I explain, “who’s obsessed with a TV station called Videodrome... The station plays, like, snuff porn. You know, people are sex-tortured.”

“Why not jack off to actual snuff porn?” Maly asks. “Why even bother with a dull artsy film?”

“It’s a metaphor,” I answer.

“And the metaphor means . . . what?”

“It’s about how we are constantly violated by the media and . . . like . . . TV commercials . . .” ... “There’s this part of the movie,” I continue, “where the white guy’s stomach turns into a vagina, you know, and then some other white guy forces a videotape into his vagina-tummy. . . .  The rape of our minds, or some shit.”

...

“That’s fucking idiotic.”