#soooo why would anyone ever choose our position?

[goinggoats]

I went to my union meeting for the first time. They refer to everyone as Brother or Sister [name] and start the meeting with the pledge of allegiance. They approved motions to donate about $300, gave away hundreds of dollars in gift cards as door prizes, and said that they had over $5000 in credit card processing fees to pay. Is this how unions usually operate

[milktyama]

— ☕︎ MISTLETOE

synopsis: getting kissed under the mistletoe that was totally setted up

pairing: oikawa tooru x female reader

genre: fluffyyy~~, a lot of backstory?? lol i kinda got carried away oops

wc: 1.6k

❥︎ not proof read! i quickly wrote this and queued it before I went to sleep soooo don’t mind the small errors teehee. 

The bells at the door jingled as it opened while you and Oikawa entered the small cafe. The place was relatively small and it held a simplistic yet warm atmosphere. The neutral toned interior harmonized with the low steady beats of the music that quietly played in the background. The ambiance of this cafe was just like out of a movie; simple yet very eye catching. You made your way to the closest seat your eyes laid on when Oikawa suddenly yanked your arm as you were about to take a seat. You looked at him in question, slightly angered at his sudden move.

“Princess we are not sitting here today. Let’s seat by the window since less people would walk over there.” he said as he pulled you towards his desired sitting area. You complied, not like you have a specific preference like your perfectionist boyfriend. Oikawa Tooru was many things, and most of the time you trusted and went along with whatever he wanted.

Finally taking a seat down, you looked over the menu excitedly. You were known to have a sweet tooth, and it was not a surprise to anyone. It went well along with your personality; bubbly yet cheeky, the exact traits that were able to bring you and Oikawa together. The two have been together for a couple of months, with you confessing to him after the summer break, which to your surprise he accepted. But what you didn’t know was the way he looked at you before that, making this pairing as if it was made in heaven.

“Hey Tooru, they have new varieties of milk bread today! Oh but they also released a special Christmas log cake… but I also have been craving the usual crepe cake... “ you pouted at the vast amount of options. Oikawa could only just chuckle at your cuteness. He looked closely at every small thing you did. How the way you would look stumped when choosing a dessert, or when you would start twirling your pencil between your delicate fingers, making it look like some magic illusion under your fingers, or even the times when you are just so indulged in the music that played through the shared earbuds you two had on. 

He truly loves the little silly things that made you up. Then when the time calls, you would roll your sleeves up as you held the brown clipboard to your chest, leading numbers of students with the power of your booming voice that echoed through the school gym. Everyone always sees the two sides of you, the righteous student council president, and clumsy third year classmate or senior. Oikawa had the luxury of seeing beyond that, and the same went for you. His prideful captain and popular boy from Aoba Johsai persona, you saw beyond that, and that is what truly brought the two of you together. 

And you also watched him closely, taking notice of Oikawa’s habits. Like the way he checked himself out at anything that could possibly even give off the slightest reflection, or how when he laughed wholly, his eyes would appear almost closed as his smile spread wide throughout his face, or even when he over exaggerated his reactions with large arm motions along with a whiny remark. You loved Oikawa Tooru with your whole heart, every inch of you wanting to unconditionally love him for the rest of time.

As you waited for your orders, you looked out the window, staring at the icicles that formed at the edge of the roof and the ground that was covered in fluffy white snow tracing the footprints both of you left when making your way to the cafe. With your gaze still fixed on what is happening outside the window, you call out to your boyfriend.

“Say Tooru, it’s December now,” you finally looked at him to meet his hazel eyes, “it’s almost Christmas. Do you have any plans?”

“hUH- uh n-no I don’t have anything planned, what are you saying Y/n-chan haha…” now it was his turn to look outside the window, but his eyes weren’t focused on anything, more like he was trying to find something to say to recover from his blatantly obvious mess up to such a simple question. You knew Oikawa well, and he was never the best at hiding things even if he wanted to so badly. But you decided to play along, if it concerned you, he would tell you without hesitation anyways.

“Hm okay then babe. Anyways before our actual date starts I wanted to discuss with you about…” you tried to redirect the conversation with school related topics and you could see that Oikawa actually appreciated the gesture. After your orders arrived, you put aside your school demeanor and put your lovey dovey side on. As serious as the two of you can get, you are both still high school teenagers in love.

As the date neared its end, Oikawa excused himself to the bathroom. You took this chance to quickly check over your phone, responding to some emails to teachers and students. There was a big school event coming up in a few weeks and you have yet to choose a topic. Still stumped on what to decide, you noticed that Oikawa was taking an abnormally long time to the bathroom. Was the food today weird? But you felt fine. Maybe he developed an intolerance to milk so now when he just drank his latte his digestive system reacted in way asー

“Hey Y/n-chan sorry I took so long! Let’s go pay the bill shall we?” your thoughts were interrupted by his sudden return. His face slightly flushed and and his nose tinted red as if he just came from outside. Wait, did he go out and come back?? You followed him to the cashier and paid for your food, with him insisting to pay this time. Making your way out, the bells attached to the door jingle once again, but this time Oikawa stops you right in front of the door. He stares deeply into your eyes and you also can’t seem to move your gaze away from his previous gentle eyes to now piercing ones. Standing there in silence, you managed to open your mouth as you questioned yet another one of his gestures.

“Uh Tooru… are you okay…?” your tone was laced with worry. Oikawa Tooru was many things, including slightly weird, but today was a little  more than the norm, even for him. Staying still in the position for a little longer, Oikawa finally changed his awkward grip on you, and his left hand pointed above the two of you, his eyes never leaving your. You tilted your head up a little further up, noticing the vivid green leaves with the bright red berries that laid in the middle of the bundle of them. Connecting the pieces together, something finally clicked in your brain. At this point, you couldn’t contain your laugh anymore. You started to burst out laughing, leaving a confused and shocked Oikawa.

“WH- BABE WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SUPER CUTE-!!” he said as he tried to get you to stop. You just continued to laugh, your stomach starting to hurt from all of the laughing. When you were finally able to calm down your loud laughter into soft giggles, you spoke up.

“Tooru baby, it is cute, but you failed-” well crap you started to laugh again. Oikawa pouted at your reaction, he really tried to do something to surprise you as your first holiday as a couple together. He wanted to make your heart flutter and kiss you. Well there is one way I can stop the laughter… Oikawa thought. He gripped onto your shoulder and leaned onto your figure, slowly connecting your lips together.

At first your eyes were wide open in shock, but soon after they closed, in attempts to enjoy the euphoric feeling that sparked inside of you that came with that kiss. His lips were soft, with a little bit of bitterness that lingered from his latte mixed with the sweetness of the moment and the milk bread he had earlier. The kiss finally broke with a person clearly their throats, appearing to wanting to enter the cafe. Flustered, you hid your face onto Oikawa’s figure and the two of you stepped aside. You looked back onto your boyfriend who now had a cheeky smile plastered on his face.

“Hehe, how was that princess? I did mess up a little but seemed to really enjoy it! You probably didn’t even see it coming!” he chimed. Well yeah, you gotta admit, even though his plan has seemingly failed, you were still swiped off from the floor by this man named Oikawa Tooru. 

“Babe, I did see it coming. You literally came back with a red nose as if you stood outside for a while. Did setting up that mistletoe take you ~that~ long?”

“WH- okay I didn’t realize how high up I needed it to set it up and the sTINKy owner’s son would not let me borrow their stepping stool!” his face crunched into a petty pout. You just can’t stop loving this man ever. You gave a small chuckle at him and leaned in for one more deep kiss as the bells from the door jingled once more, along with the mistletoe that fell right in between your feet.

[dudeandduchess]

How about a really angsty screaming fight that makes the reader question about her marriage and future with modern kyo pls? Thanks soooo much 🙏 I’m ready to cry this week. I got my tissues (T_T)

Oooh, hey bby. I do apologize bc there isn’t much screaming here. But I did cry while writing this bc I felt so sorry for Kyō... so there’s that. Hope you like it tho. 💜✨

***

Kyōjurō x F!S/O: Regrets (Modern AU, SFW Scenario):

Warnings: Angst, Financial Problems, Screaming, Marital Problems, Language

A frustrated sigh passed (Y/n)’s lips, as she tossed the whole sheaf of bills in her hand onto the table. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, while a frown marred her usually cheerful face.

She couldn’t even begin to describe how she felt— just looking at the small stack of papers in front of her made her head spin. Not because she didn’t understand them, but more because of the fact that she didn’t know where she was going to get the money to pay for them.

Having grown up in a privileged home— with parents who paid for everything for her— she wasn’t used to not having them to fall back on. And, even though it had been three years since she’d run away to get married to Kyōjurō, she still still had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that she couldn’t rely on anyone but herself anymore.

Not even her husband could help her out; what with him already holding a full time job at Kimetsu Academy.

Hell, she was already juggling two part-time jobs, on top of having to attend nursing school— in an effort to make something of herself. She didn’t want to give her parents the satisfaction of knowing that they had been right all along.

That choosing Kyōjurō had been wrong all along.

Because, even she knew, that things would have been drastically different if she’d chosen to stay with her parents all those years ago. She would have gone off to ToDai as a medical student— like she’d always dreamed of.

She wouldn’t have had to settle for working from six in the morning to twelve in the afternoon at a coffee shop near her school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays— while having to work from five in the evening to ten at night on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On top of that, she had to attend her classes during her free time.

(Y/n) only ever got Sundays off but, even then, her Sundays were spent doing homework and studying. Her schedule was stretched so thin that she barely even had time to eat or sleep, let alone clean their apartment and run the errands that needed to be done.

Before she knew it, her tears had already begun to fall down her face in hot rivulets. And she could do nothing but to bury her head in her hands, as well as press the heels of her palms against her eyes; all in an effort to keep her tears at bay.

Because she knew that her tears would solve nothing. They wouldn’t pay for the huge difference that they still needed to pay their rent and all of their utilities on time.

Still, her tears never ceased. In fact, they only gained more traction as the minutes ticked by; dulling her senses and wreaking havoc on her ability to breathe.

Her lungs felt like hell, and her eyes were so red and puffy by the time that her tears had dried out.

But, even then, she couldn’t pull herself up from her hunched position against the dining table.

In the end, she had to admit that her parents were right.

Marrying Kyōjurō was a mistake.

“I’m home!” The aforementioned man called out tiredly from the front door. He made quick work of taking his shoes off, then moved to loosen his tie— right before he padded down the dark hallway, right to where the only room in their tiny apartment where the light was on. “Why is it so dark in here? (Y/n)?”

She didn’t want to blame him— she really didn’t— but part of her knew that it was also because of him that they were in their current predicament.

Kyōjurō had blown off all of their savings to pay for his father’s debts and, while that was noble of him to do, it was also extremely stupid— because the old bastard had never even thanked them for their help.

“(Y/n)? Baby, what’s wrong?” The young man asked quietly, his eyes immediately landing on the small stack of bills on the table— before flitting up to his crying wife, and immediately putting the pieces together.

Slowly, he set his bag down on the floor and moved to pat her shoulder.

Only, the moment his hand made contact with her body, she slapped it away and turned to cast him the most hateful look he’d ever seen on her face.

“You know very well what the fuck’s wrong!” (Y/n) snarled angrily, not caring if the neighbors heard her. Because she had been keeping things in for a long time, and had been trying to be optimistic about things— but enough was enough.

She was done trying to fool herself into thinking that she was going to be fine; that they were going to be fine.

Because, frankly, they weren’t.

Abruptly, she stood up from the rickety, old chair that she’d been sitting on, and gritted her teeth in an effort to muffle the sobs that threatened to bubble free from her lips.

It hurt her throat to keep forcing them down, making it feel so tight and strained that all her effort became wasted when the first sob managed to break free. “Our life is shit, Kyōjurō! We don’t have enough money to pay our bills, to pay our rent, hell— we don’t even have enough money for food! On top of that, you’re rarely even home early; always preferring to go out with your co-teachers after class!

“Well, they can afford to go out; you can’t. We can’t. And you’re not even trying to help me out here— I’m tired, Kyō,” (Y/n) uttered brokenly through sobs and breathless gasps, her glare never wavering in its intensity. “I’m so fucking tired.”

Her voice had tapered down to a quieter tone towards the end of her spiel, but it made her sound even more ominous than anything.

“It’s not like I’m not trying to find another job, (Y/n),” Kyōjurō shot back at his wife, his own expression filled with irritation and frustration at her previous words to him.

Because she wasn’t the only one who was tired. He also had to take his job home, as making lesson plans had to be done over the weekend for a multitude of classes. And, on top of that, he was also looking for a part time job that would allow him to work from home.

But, so far, he hadn’t had any luck.

“I’m trying here. I really am!” The last sentence came out as a shout, as the young man threw his hands up in the air. “Fuck!”

It wasn’t like him to curse, but he didn’t know what else to say. His own tears pricked the backs of his eyes, yet no matter how hard he tried to push them back, they still escaped and began to mar his cheeks.

A long and very uncomfortable silence stretched between the couple after that; with both of them simply staring at the other as they cried. No one dared to make a move— not that they could have deigned to even lift a finger, as all of their limbs felt heavy.

All weighed down with hopelessness and grief.

And, as if their situation wasn’t worse enough, (Y/n) finally opened her mouth to put more fuel to the fire.

“Getting married was a mistake. Look at how we turned out; this wasn’t what I saw in our future,” The young woman whispered through her tears. Her vision was blurry, and her voice was scratchy at best, yet she never looked away from her husband. “Look at us, Kyō. I can’t do this anymore. I want a divorce.”

“No, (Y/n)... please...” Kyōjurō pleaded, shaking his head and moving to hold his wife by her biceps. “Please, don’t do this to me. I need you. I love you. Please, (Y/n), I’m begging you...”

His hands were shaking, and he felt as if he were having an out of body experience— what with how lightheaded he suddenly felt.

However, despite his tear-filled pleas, the young woman still shook her head sadly. “Ask yourself, Kyōjurō: is this marriage still worth fighting for? Because I don’t think it is anymore.”

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 : Whitey Winn

1. What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had about a total stranger?

Uuuhhh I don't really think about stranger's.

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW?

Now is good. All times are good none better then the other. But I do like mornin's before y/ns properly awake shes so much louder when she's sleepy.

3. What's your favourite way to be seduced?

I like when y/n starts hintin' it's so cute because she starts blushin' and gettin' all embarrassed for askin'

4. What's the dirtiest fantasy you've had at work?

Ummmm... well did Imagine handcuffin' my little darlin'to the bars and stripping her naked leavin' her there all day so I could come back and fuck her whenever I wanted

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance?

Noooo... I do not want to do that!

6. What do you do when you get horny in public?

Go jerk off. Or hide in the office till it goes down, or call y/n over.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom?

No that's disgustin'. My house or the river that's it... or outside y/ns window before we where married.

8. What's the weirdest thing you've thought about while touching yourself?

I don't really think of odd thin's I kinda just imaginin' y/n,

9. What's the strangest prop you've used to get yourself off?

A Sponge... I was in the tub and I maybe have uhh tried to see what it felt like, it didn't feel that good but I got off so I was happy.

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused?

Not really I remember the first time I kinda felt with being horny but it happened so often I just kinda ignored it until I jerked off for the first time.

11. Who gave you your first orgasm?

I did I was curious so I did and I've been a dirty little pervy boy ever since.

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like?

Ohh I remember it like it was yesterday, it felt so good so amazin' I can't describe it and that was with my own hand I can't even begin to explain the amazin' waves of pleasure from her hand, her mouth, her pussy the first times I ever got those.

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew?

Nope that seems like a werid thing to do.

14. What's your favourite thing about a quickie?

The gratification. And if course gettin' to secretly ruin my darlin'

15. What the most sexually daring thing you've ever done?

Lettin' y/n lock me up. And lettin' her do whatever she wanted to me. I was a little worried but my God it was fun.

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers?

Noooo the teacher in la belle before his dunn was.... Not good.

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks?

Not strangers just y/n.

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them?

Of course I do, I can't help thinkin' of fuckin' her every time I see her.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

No. And as the options in la belle are the drygoods man, the funeral director, the bar keep, or bill... I do not want to.

20. What inspires you to make the first move?

Hormones mostly. But y/n made the first move with us just sittin' down the river and she nuzzled into my neck and gave my cheek a little kiss so I kinda have her lips a little kiss back and now she's my wife.

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed?

To make your partner happy.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn't help yourself?

No! Anyone who has I will personally shot your dick off ya don't deserve a beautiful woman if ya can't 'help yourself'. I have the most beautiful, intelligent, sexy woman in the world that I love very dearly why would I ever want anyone else much less betray her trust and cheat on her she's my wife why would I do that?

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush?

What! No? Who has? That's a dickhole thin' to do to someone especially someone ya love? Why would ya do that?

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

Just imaginin' my sexy little darlin' strippin' for me and rubbin' soapy bubbles all over her sluttyy body.

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

Lookin' at y/n. That's all that make me hard

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

Not on purpose sometimes they shut when I feel good?

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

Many times I like handcuffs not so much blindfoldin'

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

Depends what's bein' said I think I like sayin' it more then listenin' to it.

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex goddess?

Humm... I'm sure my sexy little darlin', but if ya wanted to try I don't mind sittin" with ya lettin' ya try and talk dirty too me? Maybe I'll slap ya sexy ass when you've gone wrong and I'd ya get me hard enough ya can jump on my cock for a while?

30. What's the dirtiest thing someone's ever said to you during sex?

"Whitey I want you to cum so deep inside me that you get me pregnant"

I think it's sexy as hell but also kinda frightin', to be fair I did edge her for an hour so it was expected she'd go a little crazy.

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

No... why does this stuff?

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No and I don't ever want to

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their "third"?

What kinda couple? Because if it's two girls then... maybe. But I don't know Id think about it, depends who it was

34. What's the most flattering thing someone's said about your naked body?

"Uuummm it's so sexy and big I don't ever want you do not be inside me"

I am very proud of myself that she said that to me.

35. When's the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

I don't get sexy dreams that much I think about sex durin' the day like sexy say dreams but never at night.

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

I imagine very fun atleast for me just bein' able to torcher as many people as I wanted but I think I'd rather just snuggle with y/n after all she knows what I like.

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

No, why would I do that.

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

Some good forplay, some nice kinky sex and a cuddle in the mornin'.

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

Mostly it's fourty five minutes but it depends on what's bein' done for example a blowjob I'm done in like five minutes.

40. What's the weirdest thing that turns you on?

The weirdest? I guess baths? They make me hard.

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

I did about y/n before we got together. And maybe a couple times about louise but that was before y/n.

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

No, not my pillow I've woken up humpin' y/n but I can't help that.

43. When's the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

In my sleep? I don't think I've ever done that? Maybe I jerk off too much?

44. What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you while hooking up?

The incident. Okay we kinda where foolin' around in the office one night and I let her handcuff me inside the cell and then uhh... bill came in while we where naked and we couldn't find the key.

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

Not really, because why would I be doin' it in front of her surely if she's there we should just have sex? But if she wanted to watch I wouldn't tell my darlin' no.

46. What's the dirtiest text you've ever sent or received?

I hate not. I got a note that said go to her house she was waitin' does that count?

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Uuuh... I guess lookin' thought y/n's window while she's havin' a bath is kinda amateur porn?

48. What's your favourite blowjob technique?

I don't really care, it's a blowjob in happy just be receivin' one at all.

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Uhhh dominate I guess, I kinda switch but Dom if I had to choose

50. Is there anything you won't do in bed?

Nothin' that's goin' to hurt like spankin' is one thing but I'm not goin' to like slap her face or choak her

51. What's your dirtiest sexual fantasy?

Ummm comin' home from work to see my little y/n all dressed up for me in her undergarments, her runnin' me a hot bath and scrubbin' all over me with her soft hands then givin' in and climbin' in with me

52. How many people have you slept with?

Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhh... one I think. Yeah I never did anythin' with Louise so one and that's y/n.

53. Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?

On my horse.

54. What's your favourite part of Y/n's body?

Her legs or more specifically her thighs I don't know why I just think there sexy especially when I'm runnin' my hands all over them.

55. Have you ever had anal sex?

Yes, but I didn't enjoy it all that much and I know y/n didn't either.

56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose?

Oooohh well nothin'.

But if I had to choose her a beautiful outfit I would probably pick, those thick ridin' boots with her fishnet stockin' then her big brown skirt with the huge slit and her little shite shirt that has the lace all the way across and shoes off her chest and shoulders.

57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched?

Well... my cock of course I like when my darlin' decides to start touching me but also hair I like her playin' with my hair while we snuggle

58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be?

In our bed I think. Or in the river.

59. When did you first had sex?

The first time was actually in the office bent over the desk one night we got a little drunk

60. What's the best sex you've ever had?

Our weddin' night, by God I was exhausted but it was all soooo good.

61. What's your favourite position?

Bent over!! Just bend her over the nearest thin' and get goin'

62. Have you ever been caught having sex?

Yeah bill caught us in the office a few times, Maggie has many many times, some guy caught us down the river Last week but I kinda like the idea someone could see us they could watch us havin' amazin' sex watch her sexy naked body scream for me as she cums make sure the world knows shes my little darlin'

63. Do you watch porn?

I do... some would call it peepin'.

64. What kind of porn do you watch?

Window

65. How often do you masturbate?

One a week I'd say now I have my darlin' but before I was fuckin' her on the regular I was like six times a day.

66. Name a sex position you'd like to try?

I would like to try on the side even though it seems complicated

67. Do you prefer to give or receive?

I love receivin' but I gave a very good girl who gives it to me

68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

So many times, she looks so good climbin' out the water naked I'd skinny dip with y/n everyday if it weren't so dam cold in there.

69. What's the most sex you've had in a day?

I have up countin' all I know is I couldn't cum for a four days after this day but to be fair it was our weddin' after all

70. Are you loud or quiet during sex?

Loud! I want her to squeal, scream, be' for me, and I want her to force the noise of off me I don't care if la belle hears us I wanna destroy her with all of them listenin'

71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay?

We tried honey once...it didn't go well. So dam sticky.

72. What's the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone?

How much skin there showin', how much leg, how much of the breasts, luckily if I wanna see any I just rip y/ns dress off her

73. Would you say you have any fetishes?

I like restrainin' to the extent sometimes she doesn't even want it when I start but I'll just handcuff her or make it so she has no escape and fuck her till she agrees she won't deny me again and she'll bend over wherever I want her too

74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go?

I would go all the way If my little darlin' let me but so far just teasin', tiein' up Maybe a little torcher

75. What's your favourite toy?

Hummmm? Well my favorite of course is my little darlin' but to use on her? Umm I love handcuffs I love cuffin' her to our bed she she can't try and run away from me and all the things I'm gonna do to her

76. Do you ever read erotic fiction?

No... I like those post cards the miners used it get with the ladies in there underwear?

77. Have you joined the mile high club?

No but I would be thrilled to.

78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands?

I bet a hundred dollars I could, and I would enjoy every moment of tryin'

79. Would you say you're kinky?

I would say I am? Some would probably argue and say I'm just a dirty bastard?

80. Do you enjoy shower sex?

We do not have showers? We have baths? I do like bath sex just an extra excuse to get y/n naked

81. Where's the weirdest place you've ever masturbated?

Down by the river I guess... maybe the woods?

82. Do you like to be spanked?

I do not. However I'm not apposed to givin' my darlin' a spankin' if she's been a naughty girl.

83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex?

No, why would I need to fantasie when I have a sexy little darlin' bouncin' on my cock?

84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish?

I'd sit there and keep jerking while I looked at her maybe ask her to take her pretty dress off? Or maybe pull her to sit on my lap and deal with it for me either way I'd finish.

85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush?

Uuuuhhh... I don't think so.

86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex?

No, my eyes watered once... when I had just had my fourth orgasm In a row when we where playin' torcher does that count?

87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex?

I'm not that bothered I'm not I to it but I don't mind either way, I do like when my little darlin' makes eye contact when she's suckin' on me especially if she makes that innocent little gave she does...ummm it makes me wanna fuck her pretty little mouth.

88. Do you like to kiss during sex?

There is a time for kisses durrin' sex when ya gettin' heated up or when ya coolin' down but once ya inside it's no time for slow little kisses

89. Do you get tired after sex?

It depends what we did if I just spend and hour roughly havin' sex then yeah I might get a little tried but usually orgasms just make me wanna cuddle someone

90. How many positions do you think you've tried?

All of them! I think maybe we've missed like one or two but I doubt anymore then that.

91. What's the longest you've ever gone without sex?

On week. And I only did that because y/n was havin' her womanly time. It doesn't bother me I was happy to continue as normal but she said no so one week and I don't indent tryin' any longer then that.

92. How high is your sex drive?

Do I really need to answer this or does ^ and ↓ answer question?

But pretty high.

93. What's a surefire way to turn you on?

Look at me. Suggest sex. Take off ya clothes? I guess

94. Sex with lights on or lights off?

On, why would I wanna miss a moment of the sexy lady takin' her clothes off for me? And lettin' me inside her? No lights on I wanna watch my cock slippin' in and out of ya drippin' pussy darlin'

95. Do you like dirty talk?

You tell me darlin' ;)

96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners?

I actually prefer lon' term. Ya can get much more used to a person what they like what you like and that makes overall just better sex

97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom?

Depends on mood, and how lazy I feel that day if it's been a lon' day at the office maybe I'll be on the bottom, or if it's early and I can't be bothered to get up yet but other then that top so I can do whatever I want

98.Rough or romantic?

Rough, so we can have some dirty smutty times

99. Quickie or marathon session?

Quickie everyone's happy and satisfied, why go for hours when ya can rock each of for a few minutes and both be equally happy

100. What's the best thing about our sex life?  

The fact it's constant and amazing darlin' ya my pretty little wifey that I can make love to whenever I want it means so much more to me then just sex it's makin' love to ya my darlin' and maybe soon we can fool around that special way so we can plan for Jr.

[raisingsupergirl]

They Could NEVER Do That These Days…

So, I watched the movie Airplane the other day for the first time in at least a decade. And, well, it was an experience. First off, I laughed more than I have in a long time. The attention to detail, the quick wit, and the non-stop banter left me nearly breathless. But because of the sheer volume of jokes—which included plenty of physical comedy, prop comedy, puns, play on words, and jabs at contemporary issues (of that time)—I found myself frequently thinking, "They could never do that these days." In fact, I probably laughed the hardest at the scenes where the little old White lady acted as a "jive" translator for two Black men, but I knew something like that would never fly in our current culture. Which, of course, left me wondering if I'm an awful person. And I've been thinking about contemporary morality ever since then, most of which has included the "cancel culture."

You've probably heard about the death of Mr. Potato Head and Dr. Seuss recently, right? Gender norms and racial sensitivity are hot button topics right now, and the "cancel culture" seems to be wielding them like flaming swords. At least… that's what I've heard, anyway. It's entwined in conversations with my patients and plastered all over my Facebook feed. And to be honest, it's my gut reaction, too. But do you know what's great about being a grown adult living in a first-world country? I have the freedom, time, and resources to unpack those gut reactions—to dig deeper into the facts until I can form a sober-minded opinion that reflects a little more truth. And it took me all of ten minutes to stop being afraid of the leftist childhood killers.

No, I'm not a liberal. Soooo far from it, in fact. But that doesn't mean I'm sitting on the right side of the isle, either. In fact, if there IS a left and right side of the isle in whatever political building we're talking about, I'd probably be outside said building, chasing butterflies and rolling in the grass, blissfully unaware of the crazies locked inside on such a beautiful day. But anyway, now that you know just how UN-political I am, let's talk about politics. First off, Fox news is bonkers. Their stories and debates are laughably biased. I can't listen for more than a few seconds before rolling my eyes. Then again, so is EVERY other news channel! Why? Ratings! A network that vowed to only report facts without opinions would go bankrupt in a week. And what is politics without taking sides in a debate, anyway? The way I see it, it's all just Jerry Springer with a facelift.

But if that's really my stance toward politics, what business do I have talking about any of this at all? Why do I even care? Well, I care because I have kids. And those kids have to grow up in this world. Their thoughts and opinions will be impacted by this world. And because I think the way I grew up is the best way, my knee-jerk reaction is to be afraid of change that could rob my little girls of the pearls of happiness that shaped MY childhood. So who has more authority to determine the future of Mr. Potato Head—hypersensitive justice warriors or apolitical parents? My answer? Honestly? I don't really care. And let me tell you why.

It's a freaking toy! Hasbro, the owners of the Potato Head brand (one person tweeted that they should drop the "bro" and just be "Has," which I think is downright hilarious), decided that it would be a good idea to rebrand their marketing to be more inclusive to non-traditional family units. But do you know what they DIDN'T do? They didn't kill Mr. Potato Head or his lovely wife. They're still flying off the shelves. It's only the marketing that has changed. The argument could be made that outrage from outlets like Fox helped retain some of this traditional packaging, but… still… It's a hunk of plastic being sold at huge margins for mild entertainment. I wouldn't be sad if they burned the whole product line to the ground. It's lame anyway.

And what about Dr. Seuss? Decidedly NOT lame, and I don't trust anyone who thinks he is. So how in the would could "they" pull his books from all of our schools!? Lolol. Okay, thirty seconds of Googling clears up the situation. Dr. Seuss Enterprises has decided to stop printing six (6… SIX) of their books because of insensitive material. But they're still printing almost SIXTY other Seuss books. They've decided that ten percent of their material, which stretches back to before World War 2, is no longer culturally relevant. Honestly, that's amazing. Especially considering one of the earliest works was titled, "The Pocket Book of Boners.”

Book production is halted all the time. Usually it's because people lose interest. Sometimes it's because the book includes material that promotes racism in a positive way… to our kids. But it's always because the publishers want to continue making money. That's capitalism. If you don't like it, you're a communist (j/k… kind of). And besides, if you can tell me which six Seuss books are being "canceled," I'll eat my words. Every single one of them.

I guess what it all comes down to is that I've got bigger problems. I had to spank my daughter this morning because she was screaming (like, I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call 9-1-1) about the injustice of not being able to bring the "right" toys to her soccer game. The soccer game in which she would be playing soccer. Not playing with toys. Priorities. Materialism. Limited worldview. She won't miss six random Dr. Seuss books. She won't notice the rebranded Potato Heads. She will know that it's not appropriate to cry and wail and kick and flail (eat your heart out, Dr. Seuss) about toys when her teammates will be depending on her. She will know that Daddy is firm but loving, that he would do anything to keep her safe, that he only disciplines to prepare her for the best possible future. She'll know that, above all else, our purpose in life is to love God and to love others. She will know to choose people over things and to never give into misplaced fear.

Because, in the end, fear is at the root of this whole topic. We're afraid of losing control, losing our childhood, losing our freedom. But all of that melts away when we lean into something that can never be lost—our freedom to love and be loved. It's a simple fact that some will never lean into, and that makes me more sad than anything. More sad than the loss of a few toys or children's books. Even more sad than if the big, bad "cancel culture" came after some of the things that I love. Sure, the world wouldn't be the same without Airplane, but I probably wouldn't miss it. Lord knows I've got more than enough slapstick chaos in my daily life already.

[wistfulcynic]

abandon

@kmomof4 I wrote this for your birthday, but since I STRONGLY SUSPECT that you will have many birthday fics to read tomorrow I thought I’d post it early to celebrate you getting your stitches out. Congratulations on being one step closer to a fully functioning hand! Have 6k words of Neverland sex-pollen smut! 🤣🤣

Seriously, though, thank you for being such a great cheerleader for the fandom. Your real-time flails are a highlight for so many writers, and it’s been wonderful seeing you start writing yourself! I am soooo looking forward to what you have planned for CSSNS next year! And of course I personally have loved getting to know you over the past year. You are a lovely person and a great friend, and I wish you the happiest of birthdays (a few hours early) (but it’s already the 15th here, so...) ❤️❤️❤️

Summary: “Neverland sex-pollen smut” pretty much covers it. Set post-Dark Hollow, Emma and Hook get separated from Neal and encounter some unfamiliar flowers. 

(Just to be very clear there is NO dub-con here. It’s not that kind of sex pollen.) 

Words: 6k Rating: E Tags: smut, sex pollen, PWP, Neverland  

On AO3

abandon: 

“What’s that?” Emma pointed to the patch of tall, dark red flowers just to their left. Hook frowned. 

“I don’t know,” he said, the first time he’d ever not had an answer for one of her what-the-actual-fuck-is-the-deal-with-this-nightmare-place questions. 

“You don’t know?” He shrugged. “You don’t know. How many years did you spend here again?”

Hook rolled his eyes. “I’ve told you before that much has changed in Neverland since I left. I never encountered these flowers during my time here. I suggest we steer well clear of them.” 

“Agreed,” said Emma, and turned back to the path… to find more of the flowers waiting for her. “What the—” 

“That bloody demon,” snarled Hook. “He’s playing with us.” 

“What? Why?”

“Who knows why Pan does anything? Just making us dance to his piping is reason enough for him.” His expression was dark, frightening in a way it hadn’t been since before he’d turned his ship around and come back for them. 

He really doesn’t like being manipulated. The stray thought flashed into Emma’s mind and and clung there as Hook gingerly reached out with his namesake to ease the flowers aside so they could continue along the path.

She took a step forward just as the flower caught in the hook seemed to cough and a shower of dust burst forth, covering both of them in a thin, faintly glittering layer. Her eyes flew to his face to check his reaction, ready to gauge the seriousness of the situation based on how he handled it. He seemed fairly calm and not in any obvious distress, she noted with relief, noticing also the way the dust clung to his eyelashes, how it highlighted his bone structure and the scruff along his jaw, how it sparkled in the hollow of his throat and the hair on his chest. 

“God, you’re hot,” she said. 

“Aye, the weather is oppressive here, but that is the least of our concerns—” 

“No.” She felt the oddest desire to laugh. “No, it’s slang, it means… handsome.” She stumbled a bit over the word. “Attractive. Like I want to…” She reached up and brushed her fingertips over his chest, exposed by the open buttons of his shirt. His skin was warm, the hair softer than she’d expected. He caught his breath as she flattened her palm against him and she could feel his heart begin to pound. “I don’t know why I’m doing this,” she whispered. 

“I do.” His voice was deeper than usual, rougher, and angry. “This is Pan’s game. The pollen from the flower must be making you do things you don’t want.” 

“Oh, she wants,” said a taunting voice. They turned to see Pan lounging against a tree, arms crossed over his chest. Emma felt Hook tense, felt his hand come up to curl protectively around her waist. “That’s the point. The pollen doesn’t force you to do anything, it merely amplifies your existing desires. And dulls your inhibitions. Like good rum does. You should be familiar with that, Captain.” 

Hook growled. “How long does it last?” 

“Well you both got a good faceful of it so I’d say three, four hours at least. Have fun.” And with that, he was gone. 

“Curse that wretched bloody child,” snarled Hook as his arm snaked around Emma’s waist, his hand fisting in her hair. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. 

“Why?” She began to press kisses along his jaw, loving the way he shivered at her touch. His head dropped to nestle against her neck and he breathed deeply. 

“Because I shouldn’t—I should let you go.” 

“Do you want to let me go?” she murmured, pulling back to look at him. His eyes were dark and their expression made her thighs clench. 

“No,” he whispered. “I don’t.” 

His eyes fell closed on a soft exhale then as she watched his features shifted and hardened into a leer. When his eyes opened again he was the man who’d left her in Rumplestiltskin’s cell. “Shall I tell you what I want, Swan?” he asked, his voice low and harsh. “I want to rip every scrap of clothing from your body with my hook.” She caught her breath as he snagged the front of her shirt with the appendage in question, then let it trail up her chest to her neck, the point dragging lightly across her skin. “I want to mark you with it, and with my teeth,” he continued, “Marks on your soft skin that will last for days, and every time you see them you’ll think of me and remember what I did to you. I want to push you up against a tree and wrap your legs around my shoulders and I want to bury my face in your wet cunt—” Emma gasped and he smirked, his tongue tracing a glistening path along his lower lip “—and it will be wet, won’t it darling,” he purred, his voice dropping still lower as he leaned in close to her ear. “Positively dripping with how much you want me. I want to lick you, Emma, to tease you with my tongue and my teeth, work you up and hold you just on the edge until you beg me to let you finish, and then I want to thrust my cock up deep inside you and fuck you until you can’t take any more. I want to wreck you, Emma Swan.” 

“You’re trying to shock me,” she said unsteadily, struggling to think over her pounding heart. “Trying to offend me so I’ll leave. But everything you said—” She hesitated, afraid of what this confession would reveal to him but so desperately turned on she was prepared to let him see it. She drew a shuddering breath and went for broke. “That’s what I want too, Hook. I’ve—I’ve had fantasies of you fucking me for a while now.” 

The leer melted away, leaving him looking as wrecked as she felt and he groaned, shaking his head in denial even as he pulled her closer, as his lips traced a damp trail up her neck. “No,” he rasped, his breath hot against her skin. “It’s not what you want, it’s just the pollen making you—” 

He broke off as Emma snapped open the clasps on his vest and pulled his shirt from his trousers, dragging her fingernails across his stomach as soon as it was bared. His skin was smooth and hot and he actually whimpered when she touched it, his muscles leaping beneath her hand and making her dizzy with lust. “You heard Pan, the pollen doesn’t force us to do anything,” she breathed, then leaned in and sucked hard on his collarbone. He wasn’t the only one who could leave marks. “It just takes away our reasons not to.” 

“They’re good reasons, though,” he muttered into her hair as his own hand quested beneath her shirt to close over her breast. His thumb caressed her nipple and his hooked arm was tight around her hips. “I couldn’t bear it if you had regrets… after.” 

“I won’t.” 

“How could you not?” His voice was raw now, and Emma had the fleeting thought that he might be as exposed as she. 

“Hook, please.” She tried to keep the neediness from her own voice. Without success. “I promise I won’t blame you for this, none of it is anyone’s fault but Pan’s, I just—please.” She met his gaze imploringly. “I need you to touch me.” 

He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes boring into her, dark and desperate. Finally, he nodded. “Come with me.” 

He took her hand and pulled her back in the direction of the Dark Hollow, turning just before they reached it and heading down a small hill towards a thick copse of trees. He didn’t hesitate, pushing through the dense foliage and into a clearing where a small pond lay rippling gently in the breeze. 

A breeze. Emma had almost forgotten what they felt like. She sighed and lifted her hair off her neck to let the cool air caress her sweaty skin. Hook watched her with hooded eyes, his hand clenching and unclenching into a fist. 

“Emma,” he said harshly. “Are you sure about this? If you choose to walk away I won’t follow you.” 

His shirt and vest were hanging open, and she could see the rising and falling of his chest as he fought to keep his breathing steady. She could see the effort his restraint was costing him, the sweat trickling down his temple despite the breeze, his eyes so dilated the blue was barely visible. Their kiss the day before had rocked her more than she cared to admit, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for this, ready to deal with her attraction to him or what it might mean. 

And he was giving her an out. He wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t follow her but Emma was ashamed to admit to herself that she almost wished he would. If he tried to force her she could push him away, but this—this being the gentleman he always claimed he was… this just made her want him more. 

“I want to fuck you,” she admitted, “I have since the beanstalk. I don’t like this—” she wiped some pollen off her face “—or this stupid game of Pan’s any more than you do, but I want to know what it feels like to be with you.” With sure steps she closed the distance between them, pushed his coat, shirt, and vest off his shoulders in one go then trailed her hands down his chest, letting them come to rest just above the laces of his trousers. He was rock hard beneath those laces, and his breath in her ear was ragged. “Show me what you’ve got, pirate.”

With a growl he pounced and swept her up into his arms, his mouth coming down hard on hers. They kissed frantically, all tongues and teeth and clawing hands; Emma was so caught up in pleasure that she didn’t notice they had moved until she felt rough bark against her back and gasped at the feel of it. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted you against a tree,” Hook murmured into her mouth. “Or that I’m bloody desperate to taste you. But what do you want, Swan? We have hours to fill, if the demon can be believed.” 

“I—” Emma tried to make herself think. “I—”

“Tell me, love. What shall I do to you?” 

Her head was spinning and her clit ached, and only one thing came to mind. “Just fuck me.” She ground her hips into his. “I just want your cock inside me. We’ll figure out the rest later.” 

“Always so practical, Swan,” he said, sounding almost amused as his hand and hook tore at his trouser laces. “I bloody love that about you.” 

Something fluttered in Emma at those words but she had no time to examine it; she barely had time to kick off her jeans before he was on her again, hoisting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. She threw her arms around his shoulders, gouging his skin with her nails as he buried his hook in the tree just above her head and slid inside her, groaning at the ease of the penetration. 

“I knew you’d be dripping,” he growled in her ear as he thrust into her with deep, hard strokes. “Gods, you feel so bloody good. Better even than I imagined.” 

He felt good too, thick and hard inside her, bigger than she’d imagined and oh yes, she had also imagined it. “You—oh fuck, yes, right there!—you imagined—this?” 

“Darling, I have had the—filthiest fantasies—about you,” he breathed between thrusts. “Shall I tell you—about them? Many involve handcuffs—chains, perhaps—always you spread out beneath me—begging me to let you come—then me beneath you—with the same—plea—” 

The tension was coiling tight in Emma now as his velvet voice roughened by lust wove intoxicating images in her mind. 

“Both—ah, fuck—both sides, then?” 

“I am a very—broad-minded man, love. Now come for me, darling—I know you’re close—come, Emma.” 

Oh, she loved it when he said her name, even more now with his voice so completely wrecked by lust. She clenched around him, thrilling in the way he gasped, how his fingers dug into her thigh. He thrust harder, ground his pelvis against her clit and she came, harder than she could even have imagined possible. 

She thought she may have screamed but she couldn’t be sure. The world was whirling around her, Hook was still moving inside her, still whispering filthy things in her ear—how good she felt squeezing his cock, how he was going to come deep inside her. Then he did, groaning her name into her hair, his cock pulsing as he pressed it into her one final time. 

Emma drifted down slowly from her high, still held against the tree by Hook’s body, still touching him because the influence of the pollen was strong as ever and she wanted to. It was oddly freeing, this permission to do the things she had been dreaming about for far too long, she thought as she combed her fingers through his hair.  

He seemed to feel the same way for a moment later he eased himself out of her, set her gently on her feet, then latched his mouth onto hers like he couldn’t go a second longer without kissing her. He ravished her mouth with a hard, wet kiss then dragged his lips down her neck and along her collarbone, leaving a damp trail with his tongue that caught the chill of the breeze and made her shiver. He couldn’t seem to keep his mouth off her skin, not even looking as he eased the tip of his hook beneath the straps of her shirt and bra and tugged them down to expose her breast. He trailed soft, damp kisses along the curve of it then licked her nipple roughly, and Emma felt lust begin to surge in her again. 

Hook kissed his way down her torso, licking and nipping and sucking over her navel and down to her mound, nuzzling his nose into her curls. She felt the cool curve of his hook on the back of her thigh, gently easing her leg up over his shoulder, spreading her open for him. 

“You smell bloody amazing,” he rasped, and the vibrations of his voice against her skin made her writhe. “Is this okay, love?” 

“Yes!” She pressed herself against his face, hating the desperate eagerness in her voice but damn it, she really wanted to know if he could do more with his tongue than just talk. 

He was as eager as she, growling in approval as he buried his face in her just as he’d promised, licking through her sensitive flesh in a slow, savouring caress that ended with the tip of his tongue pressed hard against her clit. Her hips bucked of their own volition and she moaned loudly. 

“You like that?” he breathed against her.  

“Yes,” she gasped, barely able to force out the word. “More.” 

“As you wish.” 

The strokes of his tongue grew rougher, licking deep through her folds and up inside her then out again to press hard circles against her clit that brought her just to the edge of bliss and held her there, held her taut and tormented as she made helpless pleading noises and clutched at his hair. His hook arm was wrapped around her leg, the sharp tip of it digging into her thigh as his fingers clutched at her ass so tightly they would surely leave bruises. He was as frantic as she, Emma realised somewhere deep in her consciousness. He loved this. 

The thought of that—of Captain Hook on his knees in front of her, barely hanging on as he pleasured her with that smartass mouth of his—sent her careening over the edge. She definitely screamed this time, as waves of pleasure rolled through her and Hook sucked her clit between his teeth to draw them out.

When the last one had faded away he stood, catching her as she swayed on wobbly legs and pinning her to the tree to kiss her, hard and frantic, his tongue deep in her mouth so she could taste herself. She hummed in enjoyment but had no energy left to do much more than let him take what he wanted. 

He broke the kiss just long enough to scoop her up in his arms and then his mouth was on her again, kissing her even as he carried her to the edge of the pond and laid her down a patch of soft, sandy ground. Stretching out beside her, he pulled off the tank top and bra that she was somehow still wearing. His touch was gentle and his movements careful but his cock was hard against her hip and his hand trembled as he eased her legs apart and sank it into her again. She angled her hips to take him in deeper and he groaned when he was fully seated, nipping at her neck as he began to move. He thrust slowly this time, long, deep strokes that kept her body humming despite how sated she felt and she sighed, relaxing into the sand and just enjoying the slick drag of him inside her until he came. 

He collapsed against her, panting breaths hot in the crook of her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and stroked his back, not stopping even when his breathing calmed and his cock softened within her. Neither of them spoke or moved for several long moments, save for her hand on his back and his curling into her hair. Deep in the depths of Emma’s mind a faint voice was screaming that this was too intimate, too tender, too much, but it also felt too damn good and she wasn’t ready to stop. 

—

The last thing Killian wanted to do was move, though he knew eventually he would have to. They couldn’t stay this way forever, however wonderful it felt to have her stretched out beneath him he was probably already crushing her with his weight, and both of them were sticky with sweat and other fluids. Reluctantly, he rolled away and risked a look at her face. She was smiling a soft smile that made his heart ache, and it didn’t fade when she met his eyes. 

“How are you feeling, love?” 

“Good.” She stretched luxuriantly. “Bit sore. Bit sticky.” 

“Aye. Perhaps, ah, you might care for a swim?” 

She glanced dubiously at the pond. “Can we?” 

“We can indeed.” He stood and offered her his hand, pulling her to her feet when she took it and leading her to the edge of the pond. 

“Are you sure this water’s okay?” She eyed it with a suspicious frown between her brows that he wanted to smooth away with his lips. 

So he did. This was the one time he could be free, after all. Free to touch her as he’d wanted to for what felt like a long time. 

She slipped her arm around him when he kissed her forehead, pressing her naked body along the length of his. He nearly groaned, nearly dragged her back down to the sand, but however strong their need to touch each other he didn’t think either of them were ready for another go-round quite yet. 

“It’s perfectly okay,” he said, answering her question. “I used to come here often. There’s something about this place that Pan doesn’t like so he tends to stay away. And the water itself has soothing and healing properties that—well,  come in and see for yourself.” He took her hand again and she let him lead her in until they were about chest deep. Emma swirled and splashed the water around herself and he did the same, enjoying as he was sure she must also be, the cool relief it offered from the heat of the day and the sweat of their earlier activities. 

“It feels great,” she said, smiling the widest smile he’d yet seen on her face, simple and happy. 

Killian felt his heart tumble perilously at that smile and reminded himself forcefully that this was merely an interlude. It was just the effects of the pollen that made her let him in like this; once they wore off her walls would be up again higher and stronger than ever. He still intended to break them down but certainly didn’t relish increased difficulty in this already challenging task. If only he’d been successful in his attempt to resist the pollen’s effects... but he was barely able to keep his hands off her when she wasn’t wrapped around him begging for his cock. He hadn’t stood a chance. 

They went deeper into the pond. When they were neck-deep Killian dunked his head beneath the surface. Emma did the same. Her hair swirled in the gentle current and he watched it, mesmerised.

“How deep is the water?” she asked. 

“Deep enough to swim properly, if you’d like,” he replied, then demonstrated by diving under the surface and swimming a few strokes to his left before coming up again. When he opened his eyes he couldn’t see her but she appeared at his side a moment later, laughing as water streamed down her face and hair. She caught his shoulders and pressed close to him. “I haven’t been swimming in forever,” she said. “I did a bit in Tallahassee, but—” she broke off and a cloud passed over her face. 

“But what?”  

She shook her head. “It’s nothing.” 

“You can tell me, Emma,” he pressed. “Anything.” 

Please, he begged in his mind. Please don’t shut me out. Not now. Later, perhaps, but not—

“Tallahassee was where Neal and I were going to go,” she said in a small, quiet voice. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders and he wrapped his arms around her, careful not to nick her with his hook. It occurred to him that he hadn’t been swimming with a woman since Milah, and he’d had both hands then. Emma allowed him to hug her though, let her own arms slide around his neck. “It was supposed to be like our happy ending, or something.” She tried to sound dismissive but Killian heard the decade-old pain, still in her voice. “After he left me”—Killian’s arms tightened on a flash of anger; he hadn’t known Bae had left her, what was the lad thinking?—“I went there myself. To wait for him. I thought—I thought he’d—but he didn’t, and so I moved again.” 

He brushed her wet hair back from where it was sticking to her cheek, tucked it behind her ear and kissed her. She responded warmly, opened her mouth for him, but he kept the kiss soft, just a gentle brush of lips and tongues. “I’m sorry, love,” he whispered. 

She tried to shrug. “It’s nothin—” 

“It’s not nothing if it hurt you,” he interrupted. “Which it clearly did.” 

She stared at him. “How do you do that?” 

“Do what, love?” 

“How do you always understand me?” 

He smiled, soft and almost shy. “As I told you on the beanstalk, Swan, you’re an open book.” 

“Mmm,” she murmured as her fingertips ruffled the hair at his nape. “And I suppose I said myself that we understand each other.” 

“Aye, so you did.” He let his hand slide down her back and over her ass, pressing her closer against him. 

She hummed and tightened her hold on his shoulders, letting her forehead rest against his—just for a heartbeat—before she leaned back again to look at him, her expression troubled. “Hook, this doesn’t—this can’t—” 

“Shh, darling I know,” he soothed. “We don’t have to speak of it. Not now, anyway. Right now I—” 

“Now you what?” 

“I want to take advantage of it,” he confessed. “This… amnesty, if you will. When the pollen’s effects have worn off we can go back to how things were, but now—” 

She cut him off with her lips on his. “Yeah,” she said softly. “Me too. Amnesty.” 

She kissed him again and this time he let it deepen, let it grow hot and aching until she was clinging to him as the water swirled around them and he was hard again, pressed insistently against her stomach. He lifted her with his hook arm and swam them both to the side of the pond where he knew there was a large, smooth rock tilted at just the right angle to support a resting body. He had lain on it himself on many an occasion to enjoy the peace of this place. He lifted Emma onto it then stretched out beside her and couldn't help smiling when she immediately snuggled up against him, as though she couldn’t get enough of the feel of his skin against hers. 

He understood the impulse. 

He wrapped his hook arm around her shoulders so she could rest her head on it then let his hand explore her body, tracing feather-light touches over her hip and the dip of her waist, up to her breast to tease her nipple, down her belly to the soft curls between her legs, slipping into her folds as she bit her lip and moaned. 

“How do you like to be touched, Emma?” he asked as his fingers stroked her, gathering her moisture and rubbing it over her most tender spot. 

She gave a strained laugh. “I’m surprised you have to ask,” she said breathily. “Everything you do is—fuck—it’s just right.” 

He felt a ridiculous surge of pride at that, but while he’d always made it a point of principle not to leave a woman unsatisfied with Emma he wanted far, far more. “I’m glad to hear that, love, but you could give me a little more to go on?” he insisted. “For example—” he slid a finger into her whilst keeping his thumb on that sensitive pearl. “How does that feel?” 

“Good. Not as… satisfying as your cock, but I like it.” 

“Could you come from this?” He slid a second finger in. “What about this?” 

“Maybe?” she gasped. “If you touched my nipple too—ooh,” she cried as his mouth closed over her breast and he licked her nipple with the flat of his tongue then nipped at it. “Yeah, I could come from that. But—” 

“But what?” 

“I don’t want to,” she confessed, meeting his eyes. “Not until I’ve had my turn.” 

“Your turn?” 

“To taste you.” 

With a quick, lithe twist of her body she flipped him onto his back and straddled his hips, clutching at his shoulders as she leaned in to kiss him. He reached for her but she shimmied away and down his body, trailing kisses as she went. Killian sighed at the feel of her mouth on his skin, absently licking his fingers—she really did taste amazing, he thought—then nearly choked on them when he felt her lips closing around his cock. 

“Sweet bloody fuck, Emma,” he groaned. 

“Hmm?” she hummed, and he hissed out a more vicious curse as the vibrations of her voice made his balls tighten. He sank his hand into his hair and clutched it hard, tugging at it to distract himself from the soft, wet warmth of her mouth as she began to suck on him... from the gentle friction as she moved her head up and down... from her tongue swirling around his tip.   

Pleas and curses fell heedlessly from his lips as gradually she eased him deeper and deeper into her mouth, until he was hitting the back of her throat and his scalp was aching from his fist pulling on his hair. Until he couldn’t hold off any longer. 

“Emma,” he gasped. “I’m going to—” 

“Mmm,” she hummed again and took his balls in her hand, squeezing them gently as she sucked his cock hard. Killian interpreted this as consent, and with a strangled noise he barely recognised as his he came in her mouth, his hips bucking helplessly. She swallowed around him until he was spent, then licked the last drops away with the tip of her tongue. He gave a garbled moan. 

She slid back up his body and lay against his chest, her chin resting on her hands and a smug little smile on her lips. 

“So I'm guessing you liked that, huh?” 

“You are… a bloody goddess, Swan,” he panted.  

“I just like having the fabled Captain Hook at my mercy,” she teased. 

She had no idea how true that was, he thought. He was beginning to suspect that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for this woman. 

And so much he longed for from her. 

“Would you do something for me?” he heard himself ask. 

“Didn’t I just—” she broke off when she caught his solemn expression and the teasing smile fell from her own. “What is it?”

“Would you—” he took a deep breath “—would you call me Killian? Just until…” 

He could see in her eyes she understood everything he meant by the question. 

“Killian,” she said softly. “It’s a good name.” 

He pulled her up into his arms and kissed her, deep and soft and far too tenderly, but between the pollen and their bare bodies pressed together and the fact that she’d just sucked him to oblivion and the fact that he was falling in love with her—may have already fallen, if he was honest—he couldn’t hold the tenderness back. Her arms curling tight around him, her lips and tongue pressing and sliding softly against his were the best things he’d felt in three hundred years—and far too soon they would be gone. The pollen’s effects were already fading; before long he and Emma would be back to how they had always been, if not worse. She would pull away from him, retreat back behind walls rebuilt high and strong, and Killian wasn’t sure his battered heart could take it. Now that he’d had Emma soft and open in his arms he wasn’t sure he could live without at least a scrap of hope that he might have her like that again. 

Emma began to make that humming noise at the back of her throat that he now recognised as a sound of pure pleasure, her arms tightening around him, her hand sinking into his hair and combing the drying strands with her fingers. Killian’s heart clenched and his chest tightened with the anguish of impending loss. He rolled them over so she was on her back on the warm stone and gazed down at her, fixing the image of her face—of that look on her face—firmly in his mind. Water from the pond lapped against their feet as her hands roamed his body and he began to trail soft kisses down her neck, savouring her sighs of pleasure and the salty-sweet taste of her skin. He found a sensitive spot just at the curve where her neck met her shoulder and he nuzzled it, sucked and nipped at it until she was gasping and quivering.

"Killian," she breathed, "Killian."

He groaned helplessly at the sound of his name and the press of his fingers on her skin grew more insistent. Every inch of her body he explored with impassioned strokes of fingers and tongue; every spot that made her moan he worshipped. He’d give her something to remember him by, he thought almost viciously—something to warm her on those cold nights alone behind her walls. Memories that would last far longer than the marks left by his mouth on her skin.

Memories that might weaken her fortifications, just enough to give him hope. 

—

Emma couldn’t think and she was glad of it. If she could think she’d be thinking about how right this felt, with Ho—with Killian worshipping her... there was no other word for it... with his mouth and his fingers and even his hook, trailing the cool metal along her heated skin as she sighed and shivered and fought not to beg. And if she thought about how right it all felt she’d be terrified and she’d run. And if she ran... she would miss all of this. 

They didn’t speak and she was glad she couldn’t think about how that was because no words were necessary. Her body was so responsive to his touch and he was so intensely focused on her—noting every sigh and charting every moan and working her up higher and higher until she felt ready to shatter. She felt like he was mapping her as he must have mapped many undiscovered lands in his time, and she knew that if they ever found themselves like this again he would remember everything about her body and how she liked to be touched. 

It was unnerving and exciting and terrifying and wonderful and if she let herself she could get addicted to this, this dedicated attentiveness and single-minded focus on her pleasure. She wouldn’t, of course. Emma knew herself well enough to know this, to know that once the already-fading effects of the pollen were gone she would push him away as she always did, too afraid to let him in—to let him see all the broken parts of her despite how she knew that he was broken too in exactly the same ways. 

But for now she had an excuse to let herself be open, to have him like this, to give herself over to him and let him pleasure her, and she wished fiercely for enough time to take full advantage of it.

But the pollen’s effects were fading fast and her fears creeping back in to take their place. There was desperation in her fingers now as they gripped his shoulders and pulled him up to kiss him and press herself tightly against him. She wanted to feel him inside her once more before this was over, just once more, but she couldn’t find the words to tell him…

“Please, Killian…” she implored him, “please…” 

He understood—because of course he did—and she saw the flare of emotion in his eyes as she moaned his name, just before he kissed her again. His hand curled around her thigh, lifting and positioning it over his hip as she reached down to grip his cock and stroke the head of it through her slick folds before slipping its tip inside her. Their eyes met and held as he pushed in the rest of the way and god it was too intimate and too raw and she couldn’t deal with what she saw in his eyes but also couldn’t look away. She dug her heel into his ass and her fingers into his shoulders as he found their rhythm, as he filled her again and again with smooth, hard, deep thrusts and helpless moans fell from both their lips. 

Far, far too soon she felt her orgasm coiling in her belly and she wished, just for a moment, that she could hold it off and keep him here with her for longer. Just a bit longer... But everything just felt too damn good, he felt too good, and she couldn’t stop it, couldn't hold on to what she wasn't ready to let go. She cried out his name as she came—something she had never done before in all her life, but she wanted Killian to know that she knew it was him and not Hook that she was with. The sound he made in response was almost agonised; his fingers gouged painfully into her thigh as he drove himself into her with bone-shaking force then came moments later with a heartfelt groan, deep within her body. Emma lay trembling and gasping beneath him; she felt sore and roughly used and she welcomed it, welcomed the gouging fingers and the hard fucking and the bruises both would leave behind. She knew it meant he understood, and that was all that she could give him. 

They lay entwined for as long as they could, until the strengthening breeze made goosebumps rise on their skin and they pulled apart, not looking at each other. Killian cleared his throat. “You should make use of the pond to bathe,” he said. “It’s the best place on the island to do so. The water is soothing and cleansing even without soap.” 

She nodded and slipped into the water, into its welcome softness on her over-sensitised skin and though her sweaty hair. Killian followed her with a smooth dive. He surfaced in the middle of the pond to rub himself down before heading towards the sandy shore where they had left their clothes. Emma followed his lead, rubbing her hands vigorously over her skin and thoroughly rinsing her hair. Killian was right about this pond, she thought. She felt cleaner than she had in days, refreshed and invigorated. 

Even if the water easing away the soreness between her legs made her want to cry. 

—

He watched her warily as they dressed, waiting for her to pull away as she had after their first kiss. Waiting for recriminations and blame. 

“I’m not angry,” she said, not looking at him. “And I don’t regret this. But I think—there’s still Henry to save, and I can’t—” She sighed and squeezed water from her hair with a sharp twist of her arm. “Look, don’t misunderstand, but can we just pretend this never happened?” 

He echoed her sigh, but his was in relief. This, at least, was no worse than he'd expected. “Aye, love. It never happened.” 

She nodded, glanced just briefly at his face then spun away, heading for the edge of the clearing. Before she could reach it he darted forward and snagged her elbow with his hook. She didn’t turn around. 

“I still intend to win your heart, Emma,” he murmured, low in her ear, and just enough of the pollen’s effects remained to make her smile at the earnestness in his voice. 

“Good.” 

Hope lit his eyes as she curled her fingers around his hook and held it tightly as they left the clearing together. 

—

“You see?” gloated Pan. 

Neal didn’t reply. His fists and jaw were clenched so tightly they hurt, his eyes fixed on the image of the pirate and the saviour as it shimmered and faded from the still surface of the pool at his feet.

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to shake the images from his brain. Images of Emma falling apart in Hook’s arms, screaming his name as she came... he doubted he’d ever be able to scrub them from his brain. What was it about that damned pirate that made women ready to throw everything away just to fuck him? Sure, Emma said she wanted to forget about it but then she held the bastard’s hook…

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “It was just those flowers. Emma and I have a history, we have a kid. She’ll see. He doesn’t mean anything to her.” 

“Sure. You keep telling yourself that,” smirked Pan. 

[deanie1987]

Mostly positive thoughts about Shameless 10x11 Location, Location, Location

This wasn’t my favorite episode of the season, but I really enjoyed it. As always, I wish we could have gotten a little bit more in the way of emotional scenes/real in depth dialogue, but clearly this is not the show for that anymore. But I’m going to be positive and there was a lot to like in this episode:

The general nonchalance and irritation with which both Ian and Mickey registered the fact that Terry was outside of the house screaming his head off. Then the fact that Mickey told him that he was irritating everyone LOL.

This episode was full of great line readings and one of my favorites was the way that Mickey said “I DEFINITELY love one.”

I thought Terry’s line “it does if it falls on a dick” was kind of funny. I’m not proud of myself.

I loved how Ian was trying to get Lip to talk about the move to Milwaukee and then trying to get Lip to talk to Tami about it as well. He mentioned it a couple of times and was trying to be supportive of the move. Either the self-help books he read in prison really helped or that boy has been in therapy and didn’t tell anyone about it.

Along those lines, I appreciated that Ian seemed a bit concerned about Lip and the move. He was clearly thinking about it and distractedly playing with his ring right after Lip left. It reminded me of when he was in prison and worried about Lip, Tami and the baby and the way he looked last week when Lip made his announcement. I don’t know if Cam does this on purpose, but it seems like he has different mannerisms or facial expressions for different characters. The way he smiles at Mickey or the softness of tone he uses for Mickey, for example, was different than the softness he used for Monica.

I loved seeing Mickey at home in the Gallagher kitchen and interacting with the various Gallaghers. It has been one of the things that I’ve wanted most this season and I’m trying hard (and pretty much failing) not to be bitter that it took until the second to the last episode of the season. The promo for next week and the thought of season 11 helps though.

Another great line reading with Ian’s “what is happening?” and literally every single facial expression that he had during all of the wedding vendor scenes. From the eye-rolls to the stunned expression to the warning glances to various shop clerks and finally trying to limp after Mickey on the way to the caterers and his increasingly exasperated YESes as Mickey barked out questions about the infamous chairs.

I liked Sandy in this episode. I liked her being on Mickey’s side and I like her offense at Ian’s seeming indifference and incompetence. She and Noel play off each other well. I loved the line readings of “I can see why you called me” and Mickey’s sincere “thank you.” My favorite thing, however, is the disdain that she and Ian seem to have for one another. When Mickey asked about Ian’s ring, the way that Ian kept glancing guiltily at Sandy as he answered made me laugh. He’s like, “not only do I have to deal with Mickey but now this judgmental bitch too.”  LMAO!

As much as the groomzilla stuff was played for laughs, I loved that Mickey took all of it extremely seriously. He has opinions about stuff, he’s clearly done his research and he wants the best for his big day. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he has thought about his wedding day with Ian before. He knows what song he wants, he can envision how it looks and I love that he is focusing on the “atmospheric” stuff like candles, music, flowers, etc., rather than the more practical stuff like food and drinks. Mickey is an artist after all.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about Mickey as Groomzilla when we first saw the preview but I totally get it now, and as per usual, Noel played every between the lines note perfectly. Mickey seemed unbothered by Terry after their altercation but his increasing stress level and emotion was palpable. After everything it took to get himself and Ian to this point, obstacles keep getting thrown in his way and by the time they’re sitting at the Alibi he is overwhelmed and anxious. Noel conveyed both the humor of the situation (I cracked up everytime Mickey threw down his pen in annoyance and every time that he shot Ian an exasperated look). But he also conveyed the anguish that Mickey must have felt as he tried to do something meaningful and joyous and NORMAL. People in love plan wedding everyday, why can’t Mickey? Why does everything have to suck?

And I appreciate the patience that Ian had with him and the way that it slowly dawned on him that Mickey really did care about all of the wedding stuff AND that he was more affected by his dad than he was willing to admit. And I liked that he was willing to indulge Mickey on his plans but also gently remind him of why they were there. Because they’re Mickey and Ian.

I will admit that I am not a Bon Jovi fan and I often run my car off the road trying to turn the radio station should Living on a Prayer or Dead or Alive come on. I also don’t reeealllly believe that of all of the hair band power ballads that Mickey could choose from he would pick a Bon Jovi song. BUT I will admit that the lyrics do fit and the scene itself was sweet. The singer was terrible but that somehow made it better. As cute as Ian’s gesture was, I was still a little underwhelmed. Maybe it’s just that seeing Ian so much more expressive toward Mickey is still new to me and I notice it more, but I sort of felt that Noel underplayed this scene just like the proposal. Or at least the version that made it air. I wanted to feel more from this scene than I did. Is it just me? I think it might just be me. And it makes me a little nervous for next week because I really want tears and heartfelt vows and not misdirected emotion and 100% shenanigans.

As for everyone else, Liam was better this week. I’m so glad that the show remembered that he is only a ten year old kid, who misses his siblings and his father. I don’t know if the actors who played Debbie and Carl were better at that age or if it was the writing or a combination of both, but I still don’t feel for Liam the way that I felt for them for whatever reason and I wish I did.

I didn’t mind that Lip, Ian and Mickey let him ride the L to find Frank on his own because Debbie was running a daycare at that age, Ian was 4 years away from having sex with his boss and god knows the kind of stuff that Lip and Fiona were dealing with at that age. They shield him and encourage him where they can but he’s one of Frank Gallagher’s kids and in their view, he should be able to ride the L by himself to the nice side of Chicago without holding anybody’s hand. The fact that Lip told him to check in once he got there is probably more than any of the other kids got at that age.

Lip getting cold feet makes perfect sense to me as did all of the reasons he gave Tami. Lip doesn’t ever want to leave the Southside of Chicago. That has been hammered into our brains since season 1. He says he does and I think a part of him WANTS to want to leave, but he doesn’t really. He has always liked being a big fish in a little pond and he has always liked succeeding without having to make an effort. That’s who he is and his story with Tami could really be interesting, because for the first time, he has a real reason to try to work things out with a woman who is “forcing” him to better himself. And he has a reason beyond himself to want to do it. It is an organic and interesting dynamic and I hope it goes into season 11. I also see Tami’s side as well. I like her and I like her with Lip and I think that the actress is good enough to go toe to toe with JAW. All of this makes me very happy.

Frank’s screen time continues to be ridiculous. How many times did we need to see Frank walking nervously down the hallway looking for a ghost. I didn’t even hate his scenes this episode but there were soooo many of them in a time when that time could be spent elsewhere.

I’m glad Carl is trying to do good, but I don’t care. Debbie looks good in that tux, but again, I don’t care. Kev’s line reading of “do you even lift, bro” was funny. Vee looked incredible doing her plank on the keg. But...you guessed it...I don’t care.

The promo for next week looks INCREDIBLE. I have a tiny bit of hope that outside of Lip, the majority of the storyline will be the Gallaghers trying to white trash the shit out of this wedding and I hope that everyone will be involved. There is a lot of plot to move on that score and there are some things that I really, really want to see happen in the next episode (which I will probably post about later), so I’m trying to keep my expectations low.

[janetbrown711]

“Does it get lonely?” Eva and Lena?

Eva and Louie teleported to the familiar part of the underworld, right in front of a gate where Cerberus waited, wagging his tale when he saw them. Eva smiled and ran right toward him and started petting him.

"I almost didn't believe her when she said Cerberus liked you. Guess i see that now," Louie said.

"Well who could resist such a handsome and good boy," Eva said as Cerberus barked happily.

"Usually everyone. C'mon. Do you want to see your girlfriend or not?" Louie asked, opening the gate.

"Right... right... can Cerberus come along?" Eva asked. Louie looked at them to ponder a moment.

"Plleeeeaaaaasssseeeee?" She begged.

"No, no. He has a job to do. He needs to guard the gates," he decided.

"Awwww," Eva lowered her head as Cerberus whined.

"Oh you'll get over it," Louie rolled his eyes and summoned a bone for all three of Cerberus' heads, which kept him happy enough for Eva and Louie to leave.

"Sooooo... we're just gonna walk dorectly to Lena and say 'surprise I snuck away from my mother so she's gonna be pissed as heck, but hey at least I'm here now'?" Eva asked.

"If that's what your plan is," Louie said.

"Right... that sounds good. I don't need to stall," Eva nodded.

"Right. Here we are," in the blink of an eye it seemed they appeared at a giant black door. It looked as if it were made of obsidian and at least 10 feet tall.

"Do we knock or...?" Eva asked, but Louie had already put his hand on the door and they slid open slowly.

"Louie, aren't you supposed to be killing people?" Lena called from the other room, "and you can teleport. When have you ever used the door?"

Louie didnt respond, letting himself in and Eva follow. He took her to the room where Lena sat on her throne looking over papers, but the moment Eva entered the room Lena shot up and looked at her.

"I thought I smelt life. Eva, what on tartarus are you doing here?" Lena got up and went to her.

"I ran away again, but this time to stay much, much longer. Maybe forever. I'm really mad at my mom. I just cannot stand those stupid gardens. I want to be here, with you," Eva grabbed Lena's hands, looking her in the eyes. Lena blushed.

"Mariella will be begging for Webby to strike me down or to drown me in the river Styx," Lena said.

"She doesn't know where I am. Trust me," Eva reassured her, "besides, it's not like she can stomp her way in here. She'll need to get past Cerberus, who i am one hundred percent sure is on our side," she smiled.

"Well when you put it that way... Llewellyn, I'm going out for the day. That doesn't mean you can slack off, now I'm requiring you do your job plus at least half of the paperwork," Lena commanded, to which Louie nodded and disappeared in his familiar smoke.

"So shall we?" Lena offered her arm in escort.

"Oh of course!" Eva gladly accepted, but frowned when she discovered she was just too short to make it really work. Lena laughed.

"We don't have to walk like this if you don't want to," she suggested.

"No, no. I got this," Eva said. She thought hard for a very long time when suddenly vines burst through the ground, lifting her up to be the proper height.

"How on earth did you do that? This is the underworld. Plants don't grow here. Except for that one garden, but still," Lena baffled.

"I'm a plant goddess. I want plants to make me taller, i get plants to make me taller," Eva lifted her head up proud.

"You're so adorable," Lena laughed.

"Why thank you," Eva nodded, and they started walking together.

"So how long do you think you can stay here without your mother finding out and making her way down here?" Lena asked as they strolled.

"Forever hopefully. I'm tired of her treating me like a possession. I just want to be here. With you," Eva smiled. Lena couldn't help but smile too, but a though occured to her that made it waver.

"Does it get lonely?" She asked.

"Yeah... it does. The flower nymphs are great and all but they're just... so... annoying," she laughed.

"Oh you're telling me? Deal with them when they're dead," Lena chuckled.

"Oh i can believe that," Eva agreed.

"But to answer yeah. It does. Dewey stops by every now amd then with a letter but mother doesn't leave me alone with anyone for more than ten minutes," Eva said.

"Geez, you should see her on the council. And the way she runs spring ugh, she is so uptight," Lena said.

"I know right?! It's psychotic, how organized it is. I'm so glad she's given me the reigns in recent years. Only for a bit though, but hey, its nice," Eva shrugged.

"Sounds like it," Lena agreed.

"Gah, you know in some ways i envy your family," Eva said.

"I'm sorry- what?! My family?" Lena cackled.

"What? What's so funny about that? At least you have sibilings," Eva put her hands on her hips.

"Well yeah, but have you met my parents? They're crazy. My dad literally ate me and my siblings. The titans are absolutely bonkers," Lena said.

"Well true... but they're gone now. So, isn't everything good now?" Eva asked.

"Depends on your opinion on good. I mean we tolerate each other but the pantheon never agrees on anything. Heck, the only reason i got this underworld gig is because the only way we could decide was pulling straws. Webby won, Violet sorta won, and I lost. But hey, fair is fair. We barely talk about that anyway. If you consider that good, then hey, that's good," Lena said.

"So you never wanted to be queen of the underworld?" Eva asked.

"Well... i never was too fond of all the other gods. They were always so loud and obnoxious. I always liked to imagine myself on the sea, all alone on a boat of my choosing. It'd be nice is all I'm saying," Lena sighed as she shook the idea away.

"So why don't you leave?" Eva asked.

"I can't just shirk all my duties. The underworld would be in chaos without me and ghost would probably leak into the overworld and it'd be a mess. Trust me when I say its better this way. I find some joy in my work anyhow. If i wasn't queen of the underworld i wouldn't have Cerberus, and he's my best friend," Lena said.

"Well what about Louie?" Eva asked.

"Llewellyn? Well he works for me. I don't know if i can exactly call him a friend. Him being a friend would just... distract me. And him," Lena stated.

"Well then I guess I see why Louie wanted me to be his friend so bad, since the only person who can would think it a distraction. I bet you two are friends but don't consider yourselves friends because you aren't buddy buddy," Eva crossed her arms.

"Maybe you're right... c'mon. I know a place where we can go," Lena gestured for Eva to follow and they started walking again.

They walked a bit in silence, turning corners here and there in the dark hallways that were lit by blue torches along the wall. Despite the underworld usually being really, really hot the temple was surprisingly chilly. Eva wished she brought a coat.

"We're here," Lena said when they arrive to a dark blue door with a warning sign written in a language Eva didn't speak.

"What's it say?" Eva asked.

"'Warning: hot lava. No living souls entry' in Fury," Lena stated.

"Uh... are you sure i should be here then?" Eva questioned.

"Don't worry, I say that to keep the furies away. You'll be fine," Lena winked as she opened the door to reveal a garden unlike any Eva had ever seen, even the one she had visited earlier.

The trees were grey and twisted about, but they had beautiful orange blossoms springing out of it, indicating it was still alive. Looking closely at the bark she could see lava running through it. The grass was grey and felt soft under her bare feet. There were plenty other plants and trees growing about, and not to far off was a stunning waterfall but made of lava. A lavafall if you will.

"This is so pretty! How did you make it grow?" Eva asked.

"This garden is my own secret project. It isn't like the garden of souls where the dead are put into the plants, but rather I used the seeds your mother gives me in the cornucopia and mutate them with the lava so they can grow into the fruit of the underworld. I never was too fond of the way above world food tasted. This is where it's at," Lena said.

"Can I have some then?" Eva asked.

"Eva... if you ate one of these then you become part of the underworld and can never leave. Are you truly ready to make that kind of commitment to never leave this place and never see the overworld or most of your friends, even your mother, thereof?" Lena asked. Eva sat on a marble bench.

"Well when you put it that way, it doesn't sound so easy, heh..." Eva tried to laugh, but it fell flat.

"Well... doesn't hermes stop by and every now and then?" Eva asked.

"He sometimes helps lost souls find there way to the underworld and has a small room in here, yeah," Lena said.

"Well... then yeah. Im okay," Eva nodded.

"What about your mother? Are you positive you never want to see her again?" Lena questioned. Eva had to pause to think.

"I think she needs to learn that i don't belong to her the hard way. I'm ready," Eva made up her mind. Lena nodded.

"Which do you want to try?" Lena asked.

"Oooh they all look soooo good! Hmmmm," Eva wandered through the garden a bit before picking a pomegranate from a silver tree.

"You and your pomegranates," Lena rolled her eyes.

When Eva took a bite out of the juicy purple fruit, Louie teleported into the room with a message.

"Lena, Mariella is here, and she wants her daughter."

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

[alitoowell]

One year—365 days—and still I cannot find the words to do justice to the magnitude of gratitude that I feel, and will forever feel, for the magic that was October 22, 2017.  It’s funny because meeting Taylor was always in my mind as a possibility.  In that people DO meet her, so it’s possible.  But I always viewed it as possible, yet unachievable.  People would meet her, but they wouldn’t be ME.  Simply because the odds were too great of being noticed or picked from a crowd.  So I never planned out how it would go, or where, or what I would say, which left me even more absolutely floored when it happened.  Even a year later my brain cannot quite wrap around the fact that the woman who I’ve looked up to since I was 15, who’s music has been the soundtrack to my life for an entire decade, had me over at her house?  I got to hug her?  Dance with her?  And listen to her entire unreleased album and the stories behind it?  That seems unbelievable.  And it will always seem unbelievable because people. don’t. do. that.  But Taylor does.  My friends have been encouraging me for a whole year straight to type everything out, and I never quite got there.  The task seemed too great, I didn’t know where to start, or what words to choose to capture those memories adequately.  In one of those moments of frustration I realized I actually already had written nearly everything—in the no less than 63 messages I sent to my best friend Shaina less than 24 hours later on October 23, 2017.  Though it’s jumbled and not perfect in any way and contains the misspellings and keyboard smashes and all, here’s my Taylor story, a year later, as told the day after it happened—in message form.

~

I MET TAYLOR SWIFT SHDJEKJDKROF

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LIFE

I HAVEN’T CRIED YET BUT ITS 4 AM AND I THINK ITS FINALLY HITTINGME

photo of wristband

SHE FUCKING DANCED WITH ME DURING LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO LIKE GRABBED MY HAND AND JAMMED WITH ME AS I WAS SHOUTING THE LYRICS GOODBYEEEEEEE

photo of merch

GOODBYEEEEEEEEE

Shaina: You’re lying

IM NOY IM NOT OH MY FOD OH MY FREAKINF GOD

PARKER THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK OF SOMETHING CUZ I WAS SHOUTING VIA TEXT ASKING IF HE WAS UP HOLT SHIT

Shaina: Ok. Spill. I’m shook.

Okay okay so I’m literally about ready to pass out I haven’t slept well since finding out last week and legit got two hours of afterwards last night, well this morning ahhh

And about to board my flight but I’ll try to type quick

So basically her team DMed me last Tuesday saying they’ve noticed what an amazing fan I am and asked for my information

And people have been making fake TN accounts and sending fake messages to be awful, and I thought it was fake because I never expected to ever be contacted

So I’m like in the gym parking lot thank god I didn’t see it while I was still at work

And I realize it has a blue verified check and that it’s legitimate and the last questions was have you ever met Taylor and I LOSE MY SHIT IM IN HYSTERICS IN THE CAR AND CALL MY MOM AND SHE THINKS I GOT IN AN ACCIDENT

So basically I’m a freaking ass mess because I’m 99% it’s for a secret session since at that point one had happened and we all assumed that there would be more cities, and I was almost positive they would NOT send that message to someone and not follow through and call and tell them SOMETHING

So I can’t sleep I leave my phone on cuz I don’t want to miss a call

It of course doesn’t come til the next day while I’m AT WORK

And they freaking ass knew my twitter and tumblr and asked for all my socials and I now know the people I talked to weren’t asked that so that’s weirddddd

Anyway so sure as hell it’s a ‘very special event’ and it’s all too secret and I can’t tell anyone except a parent for safety

And once I confirm I can get myself to LA she gives some instructions and said final details will be emailed  

And so that was Wednesday and I’m crying at work and their dinner was late lol

And I called my mom and was like this weekend Sunday book flights nowwwww

And then the quick version is for the next two days I was practically puking every day so nervous and the email wasn’t coming and I was like shitttttt

So finally on Friday I straight up call Taylor Nation back and get straight through and say my name and she’s like what’s up?! And she says they’re coming out later that day

And so I flew down Saturday and I rented my very first car and took my first legit solo trip in the name of Taylor freaking swift honestly I’m not surprised

And bless Briana’s fam’s heart they were out of town but let me stay in their guest apartment while they were away with no explanation so that was very nice and less stress for me

And then I had to sit from 3:30 Saturday until 5:15 Sunday in LA by myself unable to tell anyone and it was wilddddddd

Like I was like sweeeeeet I can get caught up in my journal!!!  Noooo I deadass sat there and felt like I was dying and about threw up hourly like how the freaking hell do you just casually chill when you know your damn outlandish never thought it would occur dream is about to happen and not only that but like on a times 100 scale?!?!

So basically I went to her damn house and we hung out by the pool and ate food and the weirdest part is I’ve been unable to eat and have been panicking all week but the second I got to the first check point and to her house even more I was just like chillllll like ayeeeee this is gonna be fun omg I’m so hungry and let’s eat all this food

And so basically it’s a listening session for the new album and we obviously can’t say anything about it or what she said about it besides like probs that it’s AWESOME OUTSTANDING IS GONNA SLAY THE WORLD AND SHES SO LROUD OF IT AND MY BABY DID THAT AND IM REAL PROUD

Okay okay but she like explained each song in-depth and was the cutest cupcake singing along fully jamming to everything and like looking at everyone the entire time and locking eyes as she’s singing ya feel

My flight is about to leave but I will continue later!!!!!

Shaina: This is insane I can’t believe it I’m beyond stoked for you safe travels and talk soon

Okay we not leaving quite yet sooooo I’m missing parts. So we are told we’re gonna go inside and sit down and I book it fast to get a spot on the ground like only two people sitting in front of me and there’s a red plush chair not even 10 feet away that she’ll obviously be sitting in and we’re all like sjedjekkdir

And I was wondering who all I would know there right!?? And was bummed there’s one girl I talk to frequently who loves Shawn Mendes and we know each other cuz she saw my Shawn poster on twitter and she’s from LA but I hadn’t seen her

And then someone pokes me and is like ALIIIIIIII AND ITS HER AND WE FLIP AND SXREAM SO LOUD THE WHOLE ROOM THOUGHT IT WAS TAY AND WAS PISSSSSSED AND SHUSHING US AND SOMEONES LIKE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER!!!!! HAHAHAHA

Shaina: This just keeps getting better and better. How did you keep this a secret?!?!?!?

Shaina: How many people were there

AND SO ANYWAY WE ALL THOUGHT TAYLOR WAS GONNA COME IN FROM THE FRONT AND SIT RIGHT DOWN??? AND ON THE BUS SOMEONE WAS LIKE YOOOOO WHAT IF SINCE TONIGHT IT’S IN LA SHE BRINGS FRIENDS????? AND SO SHE OF COURSE INSTEAD COMES FROM THE BACL AND THE DAMN ROOM EXPLODES AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A DAMN GODWESS AND SHE’S LIKE HIIIIIIIII AND GRINNING AND ALSO COMES IN JACK ANTANOF (SPELLING IDK IM CURRENTLY OFFLINE SO I CANT CHECK), TWO OF THE HAIM GIRLS, AND RUBY ROSE AND THE ROOM IS LIKE SHATTERING

AND SO SINCE SHE IN THE BACK SHE STARTS MAKING HER WAY THROUGHHHHHH US AND IS GRABBING PEOPLE AND PEOPLE ARE STANDING UP AND HUGGING HER AND HOLY CRAP

Okay lololol shoot I just woke up and didn’t realize the rest of this story was notttt in constant caps like I’ve been using all day my bad my bad

And so she’s playing the songs in order off the album and I think it’s okay to say that her and jack are losing their minds because they’ve never gotten to experience our reaction to new stuff they’ve worked on when they’re together, and definitely not together and in person, so she kept being like this is so cool for us you have no idea and he’s in the back confirming lololol

And so anyway she gets to Look What You Made me Do and she’s like soooo how do we want to do this??? Do we want to keep sitting do we want to dance…??? And we’re all like DANCEEEEEE SHDHIEOKRKR and shes like okayyyy we’re dancing and Shaina this is deadass like straight out of a dream.  Actually wait no I couldn’t have imagined this, but she starts and I was anticipating part of this but not the whole thing…

So she obviously doesn’t just have us bopping along and staying and dancing on her own up front… she starts making her way into our basically tiny crowd and we’re so packed together that she’s grabbing people’s hands so she doesn’t fall as she goes. And she’s stopping and dancing with people and stops and stays dancing like staring at one guy and he’s going for it and not afraid and singing the lyrics dramatically right back to her….

And then she makes her way towards and wait for it

GRABS MY DAMN HAND AS SHE’S TRYING TO GET FARTHER INTO THE MIDDLE AND I’M LIKE OKAY OKAY JUST CHILL SHE JUST GRABBED MY HAND NO BIGGIE AND IM LIKE SHES GONNA KEEP WALKING LIKE THAT WAS MY MOMENT RIGBT?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOO SHE STOPS THERE ONCE SHES BY ME AND IS DANCING WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND HER BUT HER BACK IS TO ME AT THIS POINT BUT IM STILL LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS LIFE AND THEN SHE FREAKING ASS TURNS THE HELL AROUND AND IS DANCING! WITH! ME! LIKE! SHES! LOOKING! AT! ME! AND IM LIKE JAMMING OF COURSE AND SCREAMING THE LYRICS AND I LITERALLT DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

And then Vanessa (my Shawn buddy) at this point has scooted up to me cuz everyone’s shifted and the people around me are like dude holy shit SHE DANCED WITH YOUUUUU

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay okay so after the whole album was played she gave us like the lowdown on the meet and greet portion and she passed out the target exclusive magazines for us to see while we waited and talked a bit about the making of them and why and things and she’s really pumped about them and they worked really hard to have them be affordable as possible and cut down the pages and things

And meanwhile like the whole night she’s so close that people would make comments and she’d hear and respond and it was so cute and amazing

Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned her outfit yet???  She’s been looking bomb at all of the other sessions and holy helllll she looked bomb like damnnnnnnnn she had on a black crop top and these high waisted and slightly folded down camouflage pants and these black boots and her hairrrrrrr this era is like natural curls and soooo damn cute

Okay okay so anyway we thought it was a greattttt idea to wait towards the end so we could stay longer and not go first and be done and sent home… yeah well it ended up being a not great idea because we ended up waiting two hours but I’m obviously not complaining one freaking bit

And she’s doing pictures in the other room so we can’t really see much for most of it but every so often we can see people talking to her and taking photos and it’s so cute it’d melt your hearttttttt

And so those of us that have bonded together at this point are like um shoooooot what pose and what the hell do I say to her??????? Like all week to my parents I was like ummmmm soooooo I’ve imagined this happening but like never thought it’d actually happen so unlike some people I had nottttt planned like a monologue of what I’d want her to know if I ever met her???? Like with Vance I was lost too but with my posters it was easier and I’ve seen him recently and yada yada but this is TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT WHO IVE LOVED WITH MY WHOLE DAMN HEART SINCE I WAS FIFTEEN AND SHIT IM TEARING UP ON THE PLANE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SAY TO HER WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO KNOW YOU’VE GOT LIKE TWO MINUTES WITH HER GOOOOO

And so we were all really curious if she’d somehow recognize us because people have been saying that they walk in and she shouted their name! And I’m like idk if that’s gonna happen but might as well see if not just ask if she’s seen anything idk idk???

So okay buckle up for like the greatest time of my entire damn life

So I walk in and hug herrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I wish to god I can remember everything she said but I was focusing so hard on keeping it together and saying my bit that I know for sure what I said and can put together mostly something the general sentiment of what she said if not it exactly. So we’re huggingggg and I say I think hiiiii it’s so nice to finally meet you thank you for having me I’m so excited to be here or something and she’s like awww thank you for coming!! And I’m like I have to know how did we all get picked, was it by you or your team or how did it happen?? And I don’t know what the first part of her answer was but she says so the people from LA have been picked for about a year, and the people from elsewhere (I’m guessing with exceptions) have been picked more recently like within the past few months so like now I know it has nothingggg to do with whatever we’ve been doing online recently…. It’s from at least when she first came back if not before and they realized we were active while she was away….

And so I’m like okay ali say something else so I’m like so I really like making concert posters and the first ones I ever made were for you and shes like aw thank you!! And I’m like I realized other people were making posters and I’d been a RA and I was like hey I can make some really bomb posters tooooo. And so I’m like the fist ones said ‘Taylor someday we’ll meet you even if it’s just in our wildest dreams’ and she grabs me and is like AND NOW WE’RE MAKING IT HAPPEN!!! And so I say after I got the phone call I was in my car listening to Ready For It and started bawling when she sings ‘in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you’ cuz I knew it was actually happening and shes like awwwwwww or something you get the idea

And so then I straight up start talking about my dad???

I’m like so my dad loves you and she’s like omg and I’m like no he adoresss youuu and is so sad he couldn’t come and she’s like awww tell him hi!!! And I’m like he loves your Out of the Woods piano Grammy performance and I say how I’d found him listening to it repeatedly and he wanted it on his phone. And she’s like he sounds amazing! And I’m like he is he’s awesome lol and I’m like actually and so him and I went and saw you at F1 last year and of course I’m like and I made signs for there too and so I describe them IN DETAIL like what they said, I realized later I told her I was from Oregon, because I said they were the states and the dotted line and the paper airplane and I think she really liked that??? And as if that all isn’t already insane enough at some point in there I mentioned how this month has been insane and how I’d met Vance Joy and it was my birthday and now this and she said something excitedly about that like ahhh so much excitement or idk something about it. And so she’s like so what pose would you like to do? And I’m like I’ve really been going back and forth between just hugging or doing something sort of funny (low key said that hoping she’d be like girl let’s do both but lololol it’s okay) so she’s like it’s completely up to you!! And I’m like um um okay let’s just hug so she grabs me and we take the freaking photo and ahhhhhhhh

And so Vanessa and I had it planned out and she had me go first and at this point I was like would it be okay if my friend and I got a photo with you together and she’s like of course!! So V comes in and hugs her and we take one photo together and she squeezes us together tight and then I hug her one last time and thank her and say I love you so much (lol I had to throw it in other people forgot it and have been upset) and then I walk out and they hand me my merch bag and are directing me to the bus but I’m like can I wait for my friend and they’re like sure. So she comes out and she’s like SHE KNEW MY NAME SHSJEKOFN and she’s like yelling and I’m like shut up and I grab her and I’m like shhh shhhhh hahahaha and so we walk to the bus and it’s the funniest thing cuz they’re just waiting for it to be full so anytime someone new walks on everyone’s like SPILLLLLLLLL

And then once it was full we went back got our things, exchanged details with people on that bus and took photos and whatnot and turned our phones on to the madness anddddddd so well thats the story of the best damn day of my life

~

Taylor, thank you thank you thank for giving me such incredible memories that I’ve blown up the phones of every person I know, and have talked every person’s ears off that I’ve met during these past 365 days, about how special they are to me.  Thank you for making it happen, thank you for holding my gaze so intently and being so genuine every second I was talking to you, thank you for bringing me some of the best friends I’ve ever had, thank you for being so prominent in the highlights of not only this past year, but this past decade.  I love you forever, babe.  Long, long live October 22, 2017.

[blacknightmare37]

Enough - one shot

2034 words

Ship: kinda platonic Prinxiety (you’ll see)

Romans pov

——————————————————

"Why can't I get this right?!" I scold myself looking over the new sander Sides script.

It's not funny, and seems like Logan wrote it, so it basically sounds like it came out of a textbook, that's covered in a thick layer of dust that sounds so out dated it might as well be dead

I sigh as I throw my red pen across the room. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just not really feeling it, it seems like my creative spark is just gone, all motivation to do anything just whistled away, but it has to be perfect, for them.

I stand up from the chair I was sitting in as I walk out to the Mind Palace.

Everyone is working fine, Logan is still smart, Patton is still happy and Virgil is still angsty. knowing that they are all fine I walk straight back into my mess of a room, papers upon papers scattered around as red ink marked everywhere. Rough drafts crumbled up, at least 7 different scripts are lying around unstapled. Pencil shavings everywhere along with eraser markings and broken pens. I sigh as I sit on my bed that doesn't feel as comfortable as it used to. But Pull up my journal and began to Write to clear my mind

April, 12, 2018

Mind escape

I could duck out and Thomas would still run properly.

I may be a major trait in Thomas, but in reality I'm not actually needed like the other three are.

Because with our Logan, well Thomas wouldn't have any common sense, and would basically be dead, without Patton he would be emotionless, not heartless but literally monotone, he would be human, and as we've seen with out Virgil, well Thomas is too care free and doesn't actually listen to anyone.

But me, he doesn't actually need me, Sure I write the scripts, but Logan could do that, and Patton could make them funny, and even use some of Virgil's Dark humor, and the fans would enjoy.

I may help with his Romance, but Patton controls who he loves and why, and if you put a piece of everyone else in there then BAM a perfect date.

The thing is I may contribute to all things that Thomas is or does but I'm not actually needed.

Heck! Even Deceit is needed, to keep his friends closest secrets, and not spoiling videos, or birthday party's and Christmas gifts.

But me, I have nothing to do with his daily life, I make the goal up, then Logan, Patton and Virgil make him do it.

I give him a dream, and everyone else's does what they can to do it.

I'm not enough, I'm utterly worthless.

And that's when I hear a knocking at my door and I flip the book upside down to save the page.

"Come in."

The door slowly creeps open as Patton walks in. "Hey kiddo, what's up?" He asks concerned.

"Awe Nothing, What makes you ask?"

"I just got a vibe, hey how about a movie night? With all of us?"

"Uhh sure. Why not." I say giving him a smile.

"Okay, and don't forget it's your night to cook dinner!"

"K, thanks dad." I say standing up, and on my way out I pick up the script and throw it away. I'll just rewrite it. Again...

I make my way to the kitchen to see Virgil sitting on the breakfast bar on his phone drinking water.

"Hey my imchemicaly Balanced Romance." I say giving him a soft smile as he gives me a peace sign in return.

I start to pull out the ingredients as I realize that I don't have my phone

"Hey virge?"

"Hmmm."

"Can you run into my room to grab my phone on the bed."

"Uhh sure but under one condition." He says with a smirk growing upon his face."

"And what would that be, hot topic,"

"I get to choose every other song." He says as I shrug my shoulders as he begins to my room.

"Oh and ignore the mess, I'm sorting some things out right now." I call out

Virgils pov

I walk in to see Romans desk cluttered in papers most of it marked in red, I begin snooping around to find a huge script that has scribbles galore, on every page, every sentence. And big messy handwriting scribbled acrossed the front page.

"Not a good day huh." I mutter putting It back into the trash can. I walk over to his bed to find his journal facing up, and I read all of the things he's written today.

I stare at the last two words "utterly worthless."

"Awe ro..." I mutter under my breath as I start off to the kitchen.

"You can pick the first song" he smiles but I can see the stress behind his eyes.

"Okay." I say but having no idea what to choose.

"Sarah smiles." I say each syllable as I type it And I begin to to sing

"You fools me once with your eyes now honey, you fooled me twice with your eyes and I say, Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn't care." I sing as I walk over to a cooking Roman. He literally looks dead in side and that's my job. So I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what I'm gonna do

"dance with me?" I ask with a goofy smile and hands shaking in fear, but I don't let him see that

"It's not that kind of song." He claims as he adds some pesto to the chicken.

"Not that kinda dance. Just relax, listen to the music, listen to the beat focus on my breathing focus on my feet." I state getting rid of my thoughts it's going to be fine he don't judge, for fucks sakes it's Roman we're talking about. "It helps me when days are stressful." Even after that he shrugs it off.

"Fine I'll dance by my self with my slightly less emo song." I laugh as I begin to dance around stupidly in the kitchen, knowing that Logan and Patton are out for a bit.

I feel myself getting excited because my favorite part is about to play.

"And it's killing me inside, consuming all my time." Roman begins to sing and dance a little bit, as I realize that's how Roman must be thinking right now because of it killing him because we don't show how much we appreciate him, and he thinks he's got to take up all his time to make everything

"You left me blind, and when I think I'm right! You cast it all aside, but I say" he sings finnally letting lose, once again he doesn't see that he's enough

"Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn't care she lives in her world so unaware, does she know that my destiny lies with her" I sing as our eyes meet, he has no idea how much we care for him, how much I do

"Sarah" he sings ridiculously

"Oh Sarah." I say pretending to swoon over her when it's really for the royalty in front of me.

"Are you saving me?" He says as confusion washes over his face, but he replaces it with a smile

That's the plan, I think to myself

"What?" He asks looking up. Shit I said that aloud! I think as my brain start screaming at how stupid I am. That's almost as bad as telling the waiter to enjoy their food to!

"Oh i-it a... nothing, it's your turn to pick." I say.

He walks over to the phone as Michael in the bathroom starts to play, he know I love this song, I think rolling my eyes.

I can already see he's in a better mood, he's singing, the songs are slowly becoming happier, the smell of chicken pesto pasta fills the air making it that much better.

"Yelp, better call them down for dinner."

"Uhh didn't they tell you?" I ask tilting my head like a confused puppy

"Tell me what?"

"They said Thomas needed them for a video today." I state as his face goes pale. As he sets the pan on the counter and takes out two plates for the both of us.

"You okay?" I ask

"Uhh yeah, I'm just not done with the script that's all." He states and I see all the stress that went away fall back onto his shoulders.

"Get me the script." I state.

"No it's not ready and th-" he starts.

"Roman, trust me I bet it's amazing." I smile as he rolls his yes and Brings me the script that is covered in red pen.

I begin to read through it completely this time, and it is absolutely fantastic, and soon enough I can't help but to smile and even laugh in multiple places, yet the moral of the video is very clear, and everyone gets their chance to put in their ideas.

“I think this might be the best one yet!" I say handing it back to him.

"But nothings right! I didn't capture the characters nor the main point at all!!" He retorts.

"Well I love it, and I'm not even remotely close to thinking if the audience will like it or not because I'm positive they will. And I'm anxiety." I say as he gives me an understanding smile

"Thanks." He says setting it down on the counter that I'm sitting on.

"And I know I don't say it a lot" I start taking a deep breath in. "But I really love all the things you do, I mean sometimes it's a little absurd but I still find it entertaing, and it would really suck if you weren't here to help us." I say.

"Well you guys would be fine without me."He sighs obviously upset with himself

"Would we?" I ask. " I mean, you are what makes it possible for Thomas to express emotion, because Patton bottles everything up, and you help him put into a helpful activity, like music and poetry. And this place would be soooo boring with out you debating with everyone, and just to think of Logan taking over, we need you to make sure Thomas doesn't stress to much on learning. You make it possible for him to make videos, because Logan would be putting him through college or something. And then you somehow manage to make me way less anxious than anyone else here. And I really wanted to say thanks" I say

“I didn't think I helped that much." He mutters as I open up my arms for a hug still sitting on the counter, and for once I'm taller than him. He hides his face in the crook of my neck as my arms wrap around him tightly, and I don't care that my jacket is wet, all I care about is Roman right now.

After a good long hug he pulls away wiping the tears from his face and laughing a small bit.

"Thank you Virgil, you have no idea how that made me feel."

"Hey when ever you feel like that march yourself over to my room and I'll help you again." I smile

"You know that's easier said that done right." He states eyes still puffy

"Trust me I know, do you want to watch some Disney or something?" I ask.

“I kinda just want to sleep." He states voice hoarse. "I've done enough for today.

“That's fine too." I say looking at the clock that reads 7:30

“Your a good friend Virgil." He says giving me another hug before leaving without eating.

Friend... I think to myself as my head and heart starts to feel heavy.

God this hurts, I'm nothing more than a friend, a friend that will tell him how perfect he is, just how much I need him. How amazing he is in my eyes. A friend that's different than him in every way possible.

If course were polar opposites, it's not like he need to like me, but it still hurts, and I know I would never be enough, but he doesn't need to know that.

[redscullyrevival]

Vid Notes

The process behind my Star Trek: Discovery vid “Flickering”.

Get a drink, this one is a dozy. 

There is a lot (a lot, a lot, a lot) I love about Discovery’s first season as a trekkie and on many specific personal levels. But I’ll be honest, making this vid had me a little nervous because the fandom for this series and perceptions on this series’ connection to the wider franchise is a very intense place to be putting forth any fan works. Especially, I feel, a fan work such as the one I was deeply compelled to try and make; something free flowing that isn’t exactly directing any one solid opinion or thought on the series. 

It feels to me that a very vocal part of this show’s audience wanted reassuring morals explained at face value more than they wanted to wade around in the presented media. Like, some of the Discovery crowd really wanted those captain log wrap ups y’all - at least that’s the take away I got through lurking the fandom tags in real time as the season progressed. Which isn’t necessarily a criticism, but personally I find the gimmie-info-and-answers-now approach towards art limiting and as a result was left feeling very out in the cold fandom-engagement wise with this series (which is something that’s really foreign to my experiences with Star Trek).

Which in turn has made for a new experience in me choosing to make this fan vid: As a form of self-assurance due to feeling dopey and jilted by strangers I wasn’t engaging with. Fuckin’ wild! I’m a mess.

“Flickering” is exactly the kind of vid I would not have shared last year, but I’m trying to push the boundaries of my comfort zone and continue on in the progress I’ve recently made. Years past I never would have wide shared “Dark Doo Wop” or “Take You There” either but here we are. 

What I’ve tried to do with my edit is string the season’s contexts, primarily in the form of emotions and repeated imagery, together (in a previous post I explained it as “sewing seemingly unrelated contexts together like a big cozy feelings quilt”). I did not try to directly answer or comment on anything Discovery was saying except in the broadest sense of “lives are connected”.

I know though that the nature of vidding, of re-arranging given footage and stories, I can’t help but comment on them. It’s all a transformative act. The music and images I choose shape a new take on a shared audience experience. Cutting up Discovery changes the media to my will and thoughts even if I try to be impartial, but I wasn’t editing impartially anyway - that was never my goal! 

My goal was to try and NOT shape a direct thesis. Which of course naturally shaped one, lol.

I have no desire to dictate my thought process for picking which scenes to use for which lyrics and why or any of that - I feel like the vid is pretty straight forward once you see it (as long as you have ~context~ of the show anyway). I will say though that this was one of the most extensive vids I’ve ever made planning wise. 

Usually I make an outline of what I want to do in my vid and usually I’m vidding from media I know well so a simple outline with key words is enough to keep me on track as I fill in scenes towards my goal. This time around though, I basically edited the entire video on paper first with episode numbers, scene times, and lyrics; once at the computer I played seek-and-find and plugged in the numbers. The entire base edit was done in under three hours! But I had been compiling those chosen scenes on paper for almost two months. It was like a taste of the old VHS days. 

As for the song, most of the time I hunt for songs for my vid projects; I tend to have an idea based on the media and then I find a song to best fit my preordained goal. That wasn’t the case this time around. I was kicking around two songs in my head when a few episodes into my rewatch I remembered a completely different song and suddenly an idea came with it, so that was kind of a new experience as well. Serpentwithfeet (Josiah Wise) is a phenomenal talent and the entire album Blisters is heavenly. If you hate my vid that’s fair but I don’t believe for a second anyone will fault the song. 

Editing to a slow song is something I’ve rarely done and don’t have a lot of practice with. It was nice to be less held hostage by rhythmic editing but the freedom was at times a bit scary. I have to dictate my own cuts?! My god.

Using stock footage of “space” (ink on water) just felt right, to zoom out of the context for a moment. I found it helped with the pacing and gives things a more reflective bent. Maybe to some seeing the vast indifference of space makes them question, does anything matter? Personally I feel like zooming out into the cosmos doesn’t put the vid’s drama into perspective of “it’s all trivial” but rather “in all this, there are things that matter”. 

Also, I just liked it. That’s the answer in tandem with the ‘artsy’ answer a lot of the time, okay?! I just liked it! Space is pretty!

I feel it’s obvious but there was no way to do this vid in narrative order. Most of my vids aren’t in strict chronological order of the media they use - but I absolutely rely on withholding narrative points until they are best exposed. Which is dumb editor talk for “I utilize narrative moments in my vids for impact.” I tried to not do that this time. Which was challenging as such a choice completely goes against my usual rhythm and tactics. I’m glad I tried it, it’s a form of experimentation I’ve thought about before but never got around to playing with until now (which factors into what makes me so nervous about sharing the final product - but I’m always nervous soooo). 

While I was actively trying to not edit towards a build up (boy did it help that there is no chorus) I did go along with the turn of tone in the song and used it to direct the vid into a more positive outlook, although absolutely keeping everything still tied up with the negative. I wanted to try and parallel character’s successes with their failures, I wanted to show that how we respond to our failures can inspire successes. These characters, and of course we the audience, all have our own personal contexts of emotion and response but we’re also all linked and connected to other’s emotions and responses for good and for bad. No man is an island and all that. 

Anyways, blahblahblah, literally none of that matters. 

What I want is for people to feel a whimper of hope and the effort of improvement radiating off my vid, and if that happens even once then I’m happy. Other than that, I hope everyone brings whatever else they want to it.   

[pinksausageduo]

bae jinyoung|best friends to lovers|part 1

member: bae jinyoung genre: fluffy summary: you were best friends with jinyoung but you wanted to be something more but in your mind that’s never gonna happen. but the wanna one boys have a plan to set you two together without either of you knowing let’s hope it won’t be end in a complete disaster requested: yes!! soccer + best friend (can have romance) part 1 | part 2 (final)

you look at the soccer field watching the boys team practice

and you can’t help but smile as jinyoung scores a goal

you cheer for him loudly trying to embarrass him

“GO JINYOUNG!!! GO JINYOUNG!!!”

he looks at you blushes and gives you a heart warming smile and a small wave

you wave back frantically with a huge grin your face

you can see seongwoo lightly nudging him and smirking him while whispering something into his ear

you roll your eyes you’re sure he’s teasing jinyoung about you two again 

and on cue jinyoung blushes bright red

seongwoo looks at you and winks while you just flip him off 

he smirks and chases after the ball once again

jinyoung gives you one last glance and smiling at you which makes your heart flutter 

even tho you’d never admit it did at least not to him

but the game continues and you keep on watching the boys practice

and your thoughts wandered

you and jinyoung were best friends

you had been since primary school 

you both loved soccer with a passion and you were both the star players in striker position of your separate teams (1 all girls, 1 all boys)

it all started when you wanted to join a game of soccer with all the boys

but they wouldn’t allow you to

cause you were a girl and girls have cooties plus they’re not as good as boys

prove them they’re so fucking wrong sister

but jinyoung convinced them to let you play and picked you for his team

he told you “i’m sorry about the other guys, you can take centre attack, prove them you’re amazing okay?”

making you blush and giving him a dazzling smile at him while nodding 

you felt sooo happy that even without jinyoung knowing about your skills at all he still convinced the guys to let you play picked you on his team and gave you the centre spot

you played excellently scoring 3 goals and your team won in the end

as you scored the final goal from half way 

all the guys jaws dropped at your skills

you rushed up and hugged jinyoung tightly whispering into his ear

“thank you for letting me play”

he automatically hugged you back tightly

“of course what are friends for? but i also need to thank you for making us win” he whispered back 

you both break apart smiling and you both knew you were gonna be best friends jinyoung still wanting to stand up for you basically shouted at all the guys

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU Y/N’S BRILLIANT!”

he grinned at you and you couldn’t help just at that moment but admit even then as a primary schooler your heart fluttered just a tiny bit

all the guys grudgingly respected you and in the end you became close friends with all of them by middle school

but you were closest to jinyoung of course 

you both became inseparable 

all classes you had together you sat with him

you became basically another daughter to his parents

and him a son to yours

son in law more like it

you both were each others best friends

he was there for you and you were there for him in every way possible

if you had a breakdown jinyoung could calm you in an instant

if he was upset you could always cheer him up

he’d bring you snacks before and after your soccer practices

and you’d attend as many of his practices cheering him on as much as possible

you both never missed a game when the other was playing

you literally were best friend goals

you guys would help each other out with school, friends, family, relationships everything

both of you had no idea where you both would be without each other

but as you got into high school you weren’t sure your feelings towards jinyoung were entirely just friendly

you just couldn’t think any guys could match up to him 

he knew you inside out back to front

all your secrets, quirks, weird things you do 

he knew all of them 

jinyoung was the sweetest guy you knew and a complete gentleman

always opening doors, trying to buy the meal and you always refused making you guys split the bill

but you didn’t know he never did this with anyone else just with you

you thought that was just him as a person

he always could make you laugh and you had the best time with him

he was also extremely handsome and so many girls liked him it was ridiculous 

but he really didn’t pay attention to them especially when you were around 

but of course you didn’t notice that

you knew he was out of your league 

and he could pick and choose and girl he wanted

which destroyed any and all hope of ever being more than best friends with him

plus he probably only saw you as a sister

mhmm sureeee he did

but all this didn’t stop from you having feelings for him 

they weren’t like constantly in your face since you guys are best friends and you spend so much time with him but they like popped up when 

things happened like 

whenever he went on a date or told you he liked a girl which was still basically never

your heart felt a weird twinge

but you always ignored it 

or whenever you hugged him or he complimented you 

you heart would flutter 

but you were happy with just being jinyoung’s best friend 

hoping your feelings will go away eventually but you were very doubtful you would get over him before high school ended 

you tried to get over him so many times but it never worked the dates the very short relationships could never even hold a candle to you and jinyoungs friendship

as you were totally lost in your thoughts you didn’t realise practice was over

you were snapped out of your thoughts with someone picking you up and putting them on your shoulder 

you automatically knew it was woojin 

he always did that when he wanted something usually money or food

“YAH WOOJIN LET ME DOWN!!!” you screamed while hitting his back

“ONLY IF YOU AGREE IN BEING A CHEERLEADER FOR OUR FINAL GAME” he shouted right back being clearly amused by your antics knowing he won’t let you down 

you groaned at him “for fucks sake woojin you know i hate being happy and perky”

the cheerleaders basically offered you a one game position for the final where you could cheer for the boys 

since you were known to be so close with them

but since then all the guys pestered you about it constantly begging you to agree

but they all had a reason for wanting you to be a cheerleader

they were the ones who even set up a special position for you with a little date bribing and they were done!

how i wish i was good looking how easy my life would be smh 

so basically after they won the game cause they were 100% sure they would

cocky dicks

they were gonna have you and jinyoung in the middle of the field and they’ll start chanting “KISS KISS KISS”

and literally everyone would join cause 

1. people were sick of you two not getting together but being more couple like then actual couples

2. hey who doesn’t like a kiss at the end of a game its cheesy and cute

then y’all kiss get together AND BOOM NEW RELATIONSHIP

THEY WERE GENIUSES

also daniel mentioned the other reason for being a cheerleader soon after woojin picked you up

“but you know jinyoung would love to see you in a uniform something short and tight” daniel cheekily butted in 

“FUCKKK OFF DANIEL” you flip him off while he just chuckles at you 

you see all the guys knew of your crush on jinyoung

but they didn’t tell him and you loved them for it

little did you know jinyoung had a crush on you and begged them not to tell you

so they decided not to tell either of you and be good friends 

AND play matchmaker happily 

“awwww y/n pwetty pleaseeee can youu be a cheerleader its only for oneeee game can’t you do that for me” daehwi said cutely with a lot of aegyo and puppy dog eyes

“stop acting cute it’s not going to work you child demon” you scoff back still slumped on woojins shoulder 

“i give up she’s so fucking stubborn” daehwi complains 

“you barely even tried??” guanlin says

“shhhhhh” daehwi shushes him

“LANGUAGE DAEHWII!!!!!” jisung scolded daehwi

“oh come on lay off it jisung he lives in the same house as us” minhyun said with an amused smile 

“he’s still young minhyun!” jisung said scolding him also for his care free attitude

“if you say so” minhyun said while shrugging

mother and father goals 

“IM STILL HERE PARENTS!!!” you say obnoxiously 

“and there goes our least favourite annoying child” jisung sighed 

“HEY! THERES NO SUCH THING AS A LEAST FAVOURITE CHILD!!!” you say 

“of course there is, its you and the favourite is me” guanlin says smirking at you

“why the hell are you the favourite??” woojin asks trying to face guanlin

which meant spinning you around and all the guys trying to dodge your head

“cause he’s the swaggy rapper. duh.” jaehwan says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world

“I SAID THAT ONE TIME LAY OFF IT HYUNG!!!” guanlin whines

“NEVERRRRR” jaehwan screams 

making everyone wince at his vocals

in the mean time jinyoung, seongwoo and jihoon come over 

“whats all this about?” jihoon asks 

“basically we’re trying to make y/n agree to be a cheerleader for the final game” woojin says again spinning you around again making you dizzy

“STOP DOING THAT!!” you shout 

everyone laughs and you just pout 

“ahhhh so cheerleader y/n, is this for her to be in something short and tight for jinyoung???” seongwoo said suggestively 

making you and jinyoung blush so hard

but neither of you deny it lol

“HEY THATS WHAT I SAID!!” daniel said grinning brightly 

“YEAH ONGNIEL IS SCIENCE YO!!!” seongwoo shouts happily back

and they do their secret handshake which takes soooo long with the weirdest details like both their butts rubbing against each other, weird faces, complicated hand motions and they finish it with a bro hug 

“i should be part of that, ongnielhwan is science sounds soooooo much better” jaehwan said disappointedly 

“but you have meeee” minhyun said cutely while hugging jaehwan 

“ew get the fuck off” jaehwan bitch glared at minhyun but he still clinged onto him

“y/nnnn please agreee so these idiots can all shut up” jihoon pleaded 

“WHO ARE YOU CALING IDIOTS???!!!” all the guys chorused 

“JINX”

“DOUBLE JINX”

“TRIPLE JINX”

“can y'all just shut the fuck up” jihoon says grumpily

“LANGUAGE!! AGAIN!!” jisung scolded jihoon this time while glaring at minhyun daring him to say anything

minhyun just put his hands up in defeat with a “i didn’t do anything wrong” face

“teenage bloody hormones” sungwoon said rolling his eyes at jihoon 

in the midst of all this mess jinyoung gently lowers you down from woojins shoulder

making you extremely close to him 

everyone’s watching intently like it was some sort of rom-com

and everyone knew you were gonna agree to being a cheerleader cause 

he’ll ask you 

and of course you’ll say yes

ITS BAE JINYOUNG

and you were also basically in love with him

and all of the guys were just smirking at each other knowing their plan will work out since the hardest bit of it was for you to agree to be a cheerleader

“guanlinah get me some popcorn” sungwoon ordered

“hell no do it yourself” guanlin replied  S.A.S.S.I.L.Y

“F-” sungwoon started to speak but he got interrupted very quickly

“SHHHHHHH” shushed the rest before sungwoon could go on a rant about how the younger generation should treat their elders with respect

and then guanlin would mention something about height

and sungwoon would go full on hulk mode

but you weren’t paying attention all you could hear was your fast beating heart 

jinyoung softly pleaded to you with his adorable chocolate brown eyes staring right into yours “y/n will you please please please be our cheerleader for the game? for us? for me?”

you knew you couldn’t say no to jinyoung especially when he was looking at you like that

“fine” you bitterly said 

which resulted in loud cheering and whooping from the guys

and the most heart warming smile from jinyoung

jinyoung tightly hugged you spinning you around

making you squeal a little and his heart warming at your cute antics 

you hug back with you eyes closed 

you love his hugs so much 

you part with everyone smirking at you two

before you could say anything daehwi comes between you two and hugs jinyoung 

“hes mine” he says cutely poking his tongue at you 

with jinyoung shyly grinning and blushing at you

you can’t help but smile at the two guys you loved them both heaps 

“BUT YOURE MINEEE DAEHWI” you say loudly while grabbing daehwi and tightly hugging/squishing him 

he squealed and laughed while saying 

“i love you too y/n”

IN A BROTHERLY SISTERLY WAY NOT ROMANTIC

everyone but you could see the glint of jealously in jinyoung’s eyes 

even daehwi so he parted with you quickly and silently mouther a sorry to jinyoung

and jinyoung visibly relaxed and mouthed back it’s okay

you were completely oblivious to all of it though

“but you guys better win and you also need to buy me pizza” you warningly say to all the guys 

“DEAL!” they agree happily 

you all prepare to leave and jinyoung wraps his arm around your shoulder while whispering in your ear 

“really thank you for agreeing”

“it’s all good” you say smiling at him 

“i’ll be your cheerleader” you chuckle a little making a cheerleading gesture 

which makes him smile widely at your adorable chuckle and cute pose

“just my cheerleader right?” jinyoung asks 

“just yours” you say sweetly back

BACK FROM MY UNOFFICIAL HIATUS W A CUTIE JINYOUNGG!!!! if y’all want info about the reasons for hiatus, fics to come and MY NEW SERIES please click here. anyways i love jinyoung and there will only be a part 2 to this scenario which will be the game and it’ll be shorter than this and ill be releasing that eventually. BUT THANK YOU FOR READING LOVE YOU ALL FOR STAYING WITH ME AND DONT BE AFRAID TO SEND ME A MESSAGE OR AN ANON!!!

[hikerlady]

5.5 Recap

This is for @seven-dragons since she did the same for me when I was in purgatory at my mom’s house out of town and did not have an Internet connection. In case the title does not make it obvious, this post is full of *SPOILERS*

The show starts off with Ethan Young, a Jehovah’s Witness knocking on doors, or ‘witnessing.’  Apparently, the hatred of having random people knock on your door in the middle of the day is universal.  He keeps getting the door slammed in his face, which lets us see he has a bit of a temper. He runs into the victim and it is obvious they had planned to meet about something, but the victim tells him to come back later (he’s angry too).  Some people, who turn out to be the victim’s niece and her husband stop by the house and find Ethan, covered in blood and kneeling over the victim’s body.

*Roll credits and awesome DBM theme song*

Lucien joins Charlie in the victim’s work shed. The victim’s name is Vern, and he is a retired carpenter who was stabbed repeatedly...as acted out by Lucien.

Back at the Police Station, Charlie and Lucien interview Ethan. Ethan tells them Vern was still breathing when he got there, and insists he tried to find something to stop the bleeding. When asked why he was looking all creepy and kneeling over Vern’s body when the niece found him, he tells them he was praying for Vern because he had not been able to convert him.  He did tell a little lie during the interview, but it’s really not that important.  I did learn more about the Jehovah’s Witnesses during this interview than I have ever learned before, so that’s something. This show is so educational. 

Funny Scene - Alice is not in the morgue when Lucien gets there, so he starts without her.  Alice is NOT happy. She actually seems wounded that he started his talking to the dead body bit and didn't wait for her. Anyway, they find a weird fragment in one of the wounds.  Lucien makes sure it is okay with Alice if he brings it home to test it, which is kind of sweet. 

*Going to pick this up a bit or this will take forever*

Charlie and Lucien go to the niece’s house, where the main takeaway is that her husband is a hot tempered jerk.  

Back at the police station, Ethan’s mother is having a meltdown. Her friend and ride to the station, a guy named Percy, tells Lawson that he worked with Vern. He also tells Lawson that Ethan is his apprentice. Ethan’s mother, who needs a serious intervention about her overuse of rollers for her bangs - is scaring the crap out of poor Ned. Important takeaway, Ethan’s mother is a bit on the high strung/pain in the ass side. She is not happy they are keeping her son locked up and insists on spending the night in the corridor.

Lucien visits Ethan in the cells to make sure he is okay. I love these scenes, where Lucien shows compassion to people who probably have not received much in their lives.  Charlie interrupts them to say that Lucien “better come quick” because he is needed at home.

HUUUUH? What happened?

Jean burned her arm because she thought she saw someone outside....a hot potato accident.  Lucien is concerned about her seeing this someone, but she just shakes her head and says she was not sure anyone was there. We get to see Lucien bandaging her arm, and Lucien apologizes and acknowledges that the divorce and the business with the church must be weighing heavily on her mind. Jean seems touched that he has noticed, but insists she's fine and he needs to go back to work.

Lucien and Charlie are back at the scene of the crime to see if the killer could have murdered Vern and escaped in three minutes. The important thing about this scene is that Lucien has rubbed off on Charlie, who is now acting out the crime scenes too. Oh, the murderer could have killed Vern and escaped in time. Also, there are some discrepancies which leads them to believe that the killer looked for something that was hidden in the work shop. They do find a bag from a bakery and over 2000 pounds hidden all over the place. 

This leads them to a secret gambling ring, which is this week’s red herring.  It seems like Vern was murdered because everyone thought he was cheating them out of money.  The big thing we learn is that gambling brings out the worst in people and the niece’s husband is still a big jerk. The most important thing we learn is that Lawson’s dad was a gambler and he was not much fun to live with as a boy.

Rose drops by the house and Jean’s spidey senses tell her that something is on Rose’s mind. Turns out Rose thinks she is pregnant with Charlie’s baby - it’s ultimately a false alarm.  Rose isn’t exactly excited about something ruining her career.  The BIG REVEAL - Jean was pregnant at 19 before she married Christopher.  She had a miscarriage and it was a girl.  She never told anyone else and felt her miscarriage was her punishment for their transgression against God. Will she tell Lucien at some point?????

Charlie gets hit with a tool box by the niece’s jerk husband, but the husband runs into Lucien who pushes him down like he is a feather lite bowling pin.  I’m skipping over a bunch of gambling stuff.  

Jean and Lucien are back in the lab and Jean is being all sciency again! I love how Lucien is teaching her all this lab stuff. They identify the fragment that was found in Vern’s neck as copper.

Uh Oh, Jean is talking to Father Emery again.  Jean tells him the whole history of the Mei Lin ordeal and Father Emery seems to sympathize with their situation, but stands firm on the position of the church. Jean tells him she needs to hear him say it. He tells her she has to choose between Lucien and the church.  When Jean says she doesn't think she can make that choice, he tells her to ask God for guidance.  Greeeaaaat. Thanks for the help Father!  Actually, he does seem sad that Jean is in this position, but he kinda works for a company that has really strict policies, so his hands are tied. 

Charlie and Lucien search Vern’s house again.  They find a lot of things that lead them nowhere, but Lucien works out that Vern was illiterate (comes into play later).  They also find a secret savings account for his niece.

Back to Ethan’s mom’s house. I was hoping they were interrupting the Rollers in the bangs intervention, but the people were just Jehovah’s Witnesses. 

She tells them Ethan is working, which leads them to find him impaled and bleeding.  Lucien has to assist in surgery, and uses saline instead of giving him a blood transfusion due to Ethan’s religious beliefs.  I was surprised and a little impressed that a man who seems to have such little respect for religion, would still respect another’s beliefs so much. That’s our Lucien though. We also get to see Lucien in scrubs as a bonus.

Cute scene where Lawson helps out the niece. They thought she was skipping town, but she was actually running away from her jerk husband. Lawson, who understands what it’s like to live with a compulsive gambler, basically tells her to leave town while her hubby is locked up.  He also gives her the bank account info so she has money for her and her kids.

Jean drinks Lucien’s whiskey again. And, Lucien kisses jean before leaving.

FINALLY! The scene we have been waiting for happens with 10 minutes left in the show. Lucien finds a patent for an electric drill that would have made Vern very rich. Percy shows up and Lucien does his big reveal about Percy being jealous. Percy thought he should be included on the patent too. Ethan told Percy he was helping Vern with he paperwork for the drill, which is why Percy tried to kill Ethan.  He needed him out of the way.  It’s just like the other episodes, where Lucien explains the mystery to the murderer. Buuuut, unlike the other times, there are no police officers waiting in the wings. Oops. Percy stabs Lucien, but Lucien bashes Percy over the head even after he was stabbed. Bravo Lucien.  Lucien has to use his own pen as a chest tube to release the pressure of a tension pneumothorax. Just before blacking out, he sees the silhouette of a man in the doorway. First Jean, now Lucien.  Munro perhaps?

Although I was really hoping we would see Jean find out about Lucien getting stabbed and see her all worried before he regained consciousness, the bedside scenes were very nice and intimate.  When Lucien wakes up, he says, “Ah, Ive missed dinner haven't I?” The best was Alice though. She was soooo excited about Lucien using his own pen as a chest draining tube and wants to ask a bunch of questions after he wakes up. The look Jean gives her is priceless.

Also, as Charlie is walking out, Lucien says goodnight. Charlie calls him boss. His reply is “Night boss.” Ha

Just when you think that Lucien is about to drop some serious bad news (music and all) after he tells Jean there is something he needs to tell her, he just says he is a throughly bad patient. They giggle and then Jean basically tells him he needs to be more careful, that she almost lost him that night. He basically says he will be more careful by replying, “Understood.”  I am a thousand percent certain that he will not change at all.

All in all, this was another wonderful episode!

The End. Thank god. 

[caseofthebelly-blog]

Better Half

I dont talk about my husband much but i do have another wonderful man in my life other then my son. Though I try my hardest to be a great mom, rarely am i an easy wife to deal with.

Our family is just that, FAMILY. We started out small, both working crazy shifts, and living hectic lives (mostly me) My Husband was probably the only stable thing in my life.

We married young and fast but fairy tales are not often easy to come by. It was just the two of us for a while and then my little mason came along. (He is a dog) but he was our first major responsibility and trial run for the next exciting chapters to come.

Every time i imagined my future self telling my future husband i was pregnant it was always so long and drawn out. Like some novela that was super dramatic, where one person was less excited then the other (usually the husband) BUT that was not real life at all.

When i was almost positive i was pregnant we had only been married a few weeks. And there i was with my $1.49 pregnancy test hesitant to pee, knowing this would be the most crucial pee of my entire life.

I think Jairo said "You 're Pregnant!" Just about 20 times in 1 minute. Never did i imagine id be the unenthusiastic one. He was soooo excited to have a family. In fact for the next 9 months that's all he ever talked about.

"Im married, and im having a kid.. " was he conversation with everyone. "Im married, and im having a kid i dont have time to waste on.." (a foolish fight, a foolish person, or a foolish dead end job) He had no intention on letting anything stop him from being the best dad he could be. And that was exactly why i married him. He didnt let anyone stop him, from being better. He WANTED better for him, his family and friends, and for me.

Without him i wouldnt be where i am today, i constantly remind myself of that when im having rather bad days, and can be tough to handle. He gave me a beautiful life, we push eachother and we choose to succeed together. We choose to soak up what life gives us, the good, the bad we take it all in and together have grown so much in such a small time.

Im forever indebted to him even if he doesnt know it. And i am forever greatful to be with him.

My husband is an amazing father. I think i fall in love even more when i see him and my son together. The moments they share and i get the privilege to be a part of are all blessings. He truly is my better half .

[iamthesanctuarian]

Tragic Labels

This isn't a normal post of mine. Of course I don't post on a normal timeline, I haven't felt like writing for quite a while. This now is just an impulse, to get this knot out of my chest. Free up my heart chakra. Get some release, some relief. I feel sad for us humans, almost all walking around with big weight in our chest, heavy hearts.

I try to stay upbeat... I desire to be a source of inspiration, or at least thought-provoking. There are so many new paradigms to consider, and I feel a deep need or desire (I'm not sure which) to help anyone I can, and thereby myself as well, to understand and delve into these paradigms. It truly is a huge paradigm shift that is affecting our planet now, with some difficult and anxiety-provoking mayhem; but behind the smokey smog and broken hearts there is emerging a new 'us'. Humanity is evolving, in a very positive direction, but the old energy is fighting hard core. It is quite literally the Light versus the Dark. The Force (Star Wars) is real, in a manner of speaking. The Life Force (call it Chi, Prana, Holy Spirit...) works very much like the movie. But that's not what I got this thing out to write about.

I was diagnosed as Bipolar at age 19. Had always been a moody, emotional child, depressed often, suicidal by the time I was in the 7th grade. Many reasons, many layers, I know many, many, MANY people relate to these feelings. WIthout my explaining them.

When I started to let myself write on this Tumblr thing, I was just barely convinced that it would have any value. But as I wrote, truly with my heart and soul, I found the value. It was in the relief I get spilling my guts, putting thoughts down, laying out dots that maybe one or two people might benefit from connecting. But like all good bipolars, I ebb and flow. Ebbs usually last longer. So this little blog is disjointed, and I don't mind. Because of what I get out of it. It's not attention. I really doubt many people, if any, will read this. But I get to say things. I get to tell my story, share the dots I have connected, put the energy out there of vulnerability and strength

I've reached a point of awkwardness that I recognize well: my beliefs are changing again. It's a good thing, a) that I know this awkwardness well and I have come to understand that it always comes before an energetic change, usually for the better, and b) this energy must change because the beliefs I currently hold don't fit the vastness of what is happening to me, and to us all. It's simply time to inlcude this 'mental illness' part of my existence as part of my journey, instead of trying to sneak around it hoping the 'Great Shift in Consciousness' will even me out. Lighting the way for others does in fact light my own path, but it really lights up what I need to face on my path in ways I was trying not to see. I'm a healer. I'm a Light Beacon. And I've aimed the healing and light at others, avoiding myself. This must change, or I can't move forward. I won't hide my darkness, my shadow, and pretend that I am simply here to serve humanity despite my own challenges. That's just BS.

My challenges need attention, and I am worthy of my own time and effort. So this blog is going to be soooo bipolar (by which I mean talking about the gooood stuff on earth, while not shying away from the bad). Why? Because AUTHENTICITY is where I'm at in my growth. On my personal path. I want to be AUTHENTIC. Everything I've ever written was real and true, from my depths. Now, I just choose not to exclude the fact that I barely make it through every day. Barely. But that is changing, and that is the change I want to share with others who were labaled at some point with a mental illness, and who just want to get through these changes like anyone else, but not in the way that the "OLD ENERGY" has told us to, has led us to, the doctors' repititions and all the pills.......... UGGGGGH the pills. The Violet Flame, LITERALLY, works so much better.

But hey, I was getting HUGELY MAJORLY F*****G PISSED OFF at the drug companies, for what I will explain later, that even got me started on a journey of self-awareness, self-healing. Everything I've written on this blog is so very true. None of it has changed... well, my understanding of some of it has expanded, but it is all very real. I simply hit a wall, which was my own denial of my personal body chemistry, and how you have to put incredible effort into it if you want to change that chemistry. I do. I will. I have already begun.

So my intention now is to have this space to spill my guts, get it out of me; share my experience of the Shift as someone who has en energetic (ENERGETIC!!!) imbalance (aka mental illness) and is aiming to redefine the definitions and protocals for mental illness. If someone needs to read it, their guides will lead them to it. If no one reads this, it's so ok, because it just feels so fucking good. Authentic doesn't use ******* what was I thinking. (:grin:)

Yeah, Spirits really don't mind if you swear. God doesn't mind. In fact, my guide Erik swears like ... a 20 year old moto-lover. Love you E. And ALLLLL my souptroupe, my roottroupe, my rainbowtroupe.... these troupes are my spirit tribe. I've spoken about some of them. I'll be including both my inner world (where the spirituality emerges, for me) and outer world, the bipolar living on a hill of Eden on a beautiful Island surrounded by Gaia. Blessed woman, Heavy heart. Finally claiming my Bipolar Tribe. We need a new name for bipolar though. cuz........ it sure as hell ain't just two poles.

[heyjudethisonesforyouxx-blog]

How I Met Jude

(Okay let me talk in 3rd person view. Para cute)

So I met this guy at Bumble, who is now boarding at my aunt's house. I often crash at his place, he feeds me, takes me to places, tells me stories about random shit about this planet, shows me his photographies, makes me try his games, sleeps with me, cuddles me until I fell asleep, helds my hand when I feel cold or scared, stares at me and tells me random sweet nonsense, kisses me and well, yeah. That 's about it.

End of story.

Or.. so I thought? Lol.

I met Jude in one of the craziest times of my life. I haven't had a boyfriend for more than 2 years, I sort of missed having someone to be with. I was never into instant gratification. I never wanted to be with someone who was never into commitments nor someone who isn't even sure of me. The moment that I get the hint that the guy I'm seeing isn't entirely commited to me, I junk the damned dude. But Jude, Jude is different. I don't know what happened. He changed everything that I wanted.

Man, he broke my walls.

So, he was one of the guys I matched with at Bumble. I've had my fair share of some interesting folks, having to exchange energetic conversations and such, but this dude, idk.....

One night, in one of my night shifts, he asked me out for coffee, which was incidentally also his lunch break. I was joking around and asking if I could borrow his jacket because I'm effin cold in our training room (which was true, okay! Wag ka tumawa jan). So, we met at Starbucks, which was right across the street of my office's building. Funny thing was, my workmate was with me because he was intrigued who I was meeting because well, I haven't been with anyone for a looongggg time, and yes my friends are chismosa 🙄.

We talked for a while, until the very last minute of my lunch break. He was in a higher position in his office so time isn't really an issue with him. Lucky bastard.

Anyways, I was soooo freaking shy at first because well, it's my first time meeting someone that I met online and I really don't know how to proceed. Well, I did my best not to look awkward because he bought me coffee and I owe him so I have to be mabait 😅.

The next few days were fine. We talked a lot, seemed like our conversations would never end and such. We laughed a lot too.

Okay shit. Pause. Break. Naiiyak ako. HAHAHAHAHA. Hoy ang sakit wait lang. hAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA.

Okay commercial lang. Looking back, parang ang saya nga. Walang pressure, walang kahit ano. It's me, I'm the problem. I already like you, you're becoming someone that I don't want to lose but I have no say on that cause you're not mine. TENEN! 😂👻

Okay, to be honest....... I had the freaking urge to write when you told me you'll be seeing someone else later for breakfast. You know what scares me? That's where we started.

We had gooood conversations. We met. We went out. We went on dates. AND IT FUCKING SCARES ME that you'd want other girls, other girls that ain't me.

But

Why do I care diba? You're not mine. This is not ownership. You do what you want to do. Maybe I iust haven't wrapped my head with the idea that I can't fully have you. I guess it's my pride? That I always get who I want but with you it's different. In the beginning you already told me that you're not someone I should fall in love with. You're not the boyfriend material. You're not the guy I should be with. But fuck, you make it so hard to not be with you.

But I don't wanna be like the other girls. I don't want to he head over heels with you and you'll eventually leave. I don't want to be just one of your girl flings in the past. I know you told me you'll never flirt with other girls, you told me you could never do that to me, and I trust you.

Just know, if I ever gave you this blog, it means that I'm already choosing to move on. I'm slowly fading from you. Slowly getting away from your embraces, your kisses, your touch, your smiles, your eyes..... and I don't even know if you'll even miss me but I swear to all the gods in all the mythologies, I'll miss you.

I will surely gad damn miss you.