#sonneillonv

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I'm not really a lawyer or lawyer adjacent so I don't always get what's going on when things happen in court with famous idiots, but I really enjoy reading your breakdowns of them. So please feel free to gush about your IRL Blorbo as much as you want! It's entertaining and (for me) educational. 🍿

Bruh he's just such a good lawyer, though, oh my God.

Also his wife is an environmental law attorney (basically a prosecutor against companies that flout environmental regulations), he has a garden intentionally designed to feel like Skyrim (including dragon skulls and a Viking shield just lying around), and owns two geckos and a "big chungus of a lizard."

But seriously, the dude is so good at what he does. And I don't think he's even 40 yet? But like, holy Jesus, the guy has such a fantastic understanding of the rules of evidence, he's got a fucking mental rolodex of citations to the rules of professional conduct that he can just pull out on the fly, apparently, and he does it all while also, like, subtly trolling?

Like, okay, the bit in the Perry Mason Moment where he asks Jones if he knows what perjury is? And he says it in this tone of voice that makes it seem like he's concerned about Jones possibly perjuring himself and is just trying to make sure Jones is aware of his options before lying on the stand?

I am 100% certain that that's actually a reference to when Dan Bidondi, Jone's "field reporter" who participated in the harassment of the families and is also incredibly racist, harassed one of the town officials by repeatedly yelling "do you know what perjury is?" and that he was "going to jail, criminal."

And the reason I think that is because he did something similar on the first day of trial:

That bit where he's like "will you talk to me?" The one part of the trial that wasn't filmed was jury selection, and apparently Reynal asked every single potential juror "will you talk to me?" before he asked any other questions. (I think it was supposed to build rapport? But apparently it came off as very odd) He's not actually asking Reynal "will you talk to me?" as a legitimate question, he's just making a reference to what had happened the day before, which is why Reynal flips him off.

Also his written motions are always hilarious to read. Even before I knew who he was, one of my coworkers at my old job (who got me in to Knowledge Fight) would show me his filings and they were always so wonderfully sarcastic. Seriously, look at this:

BECAUSE. HE DOES NOT. POSSESS. THE POWERS. OF PROPHECY. I AM CRYING.

anyway yeah i'm totally normal about him shhhhhh

[incognito-lionbeast]

I'm now imagining this conversation between Shang Qinghua and Liu Qingge where SQH sits him down and he's like "I know you normally give formal events a miss but I really need you to come to my wedding because, you see, there's this demon tradition where both sides of the family try to assassinate their relative's prospective spouse, but since all the demons there will be on Mobei-Jun's side..." And Liu Qingge is like "I understand. Obviously Mobei-Jun will feel insulted if no one attempts to assassinate him, so you need me to come and spend the entirety of the feast attempting to kill your future husband. If I succeed, one of the Peak Lords of Cang Qiong won't marry a literal demon. If I fail, at least my martial brother is happy and his husband's family is not slighted. Say no more, I understand my responsibility." And SQH is just like "..... Um. Actually."

asDFGHGS You know, I hadn't actually considered that, but you do raise a very good point. 🤣

In my version of the conversation-- or at least the one in my head (since I don't have it written out anywhere lmfao), I don't think SQH actually tells Liu Qingge about the assassination part at all? Partly because he assumes that Liu Qingge wouldn't actually be helpful and/or want to help.

Partly because it's much more fun (for Shang Qinghua) if Liu Qingge shows up unaware, because if LQG's already expecting folks to be violent... then where's the surprise when they start flirting with him? The permission to maim is worded more as an afterthought, ostensibly to entice and/or placate LQG into attending-- though SQH knows better~ :3

.......though, yeah, if it weren't for Liu Qingge's many suitors, he might've picked a fight with Mobei-Jun, too. Possibly. Yue Qingyuan warned him against it. Something-something about technically being allies, because MBJ's boss is Luo Binghe--who's still a Qing Jing disciple... while also being Shen Qingqiu's husband... and the Huan Hua Sect Leader... and, yes, a Demon Lord....

(their hierarchy is in shambles)

Anyway, Yue Qingyuan doesn't want trouble.

[imsodishy]

Regarding wandering tumblr looking for RP, man I understand the drought but like... If that person came and asked me I'd be like "Yes I RP Billy. No, not with you." Because I don't KNOW them. I came up through the wild west of Yahell RP chat so it's not like I've never played where there were no rules, but after I found forums I never went back. Having rules, moderators, common expectations, and the opportunity to observe someone's RP and even VET them through applications before you get into cooperative storytelling was seriously just the best.

I may be an old fart, but I don't understand how people do it now. My current group of RP friends has mostly been my RP friends for 10+ years. So this whole scenario is kind of making my head hurt 😅

Yeah, i haven't rp-ed in like... over a decade 😅 so the landscape I'm sure has changed.

I feel like step one should be making an rp account (on whichever platform) because approaching people on anon makes it pretty much impossible to establish trust and rapport (very important in RP). If you don't want to associate it with you main blog (which i guess i get) making one to-purpose is a good way to go.

The consensus seems to be that Discord is the place to RP (if you're seeing this anon, see I could @ you if you had an account) but I know pretty much nothing about Discord so 🤷‍♀️

[cat-identifier]

This is my beautiful little tabbico, Sweet Ivy! She is Will-o-Wisp's younger house-sibling by a month. The smartest of the trio BY FAR, she has been known to employ tool use and possibly arcane geometry in pursuit of chicken. She has stolen food from my plate while I was holding it without me noticing. She's extremely shy about people and seems to be very responsive and obedient, but actually she just waits for me to turn my back before doing whatever the heck she wants. I love this about her, and I think she should continue never letting anyone dissuade her from her nefarious kleptomaniac goals. Even if it means I have to empty the trash RIGHT AWAY if I put any chicken in it.

- @sonneillonv

—

Sweet Ivy appears to be a red and black mackerel tabby tortoiseshell with low-medium white!

I support her villainous endeavors.

[campaign-spotlight]

Beginning Idol with Wolfgang [S2E6]

In this week's episode, we chat with Wolfgang about the struggle of making it in showbusiness, the importance of embracing a system's genre conventions, and the deployment of feminine appeal. Spoiler warning for Jaws in this one? And, to a lesser extent, The Young and the Restless. Disclaimers that we're not actually sponsored by Adobe Acrobat and Jake is not actually 5'6. 

Here's the Beginning Idol system that Wolfgang is sharing with us. Here's Wolfgang's own Itch page. And, because we mention Eric a few times, here's Eric's actual real-life band.

We talk about the Dallas TTRPG a little bit, so here's the Flashlight where we try to play Dallas.

This week's PC intro comes from Sonne (Tumblr's very own @sonneillonv), who builds travel guides to the best (and worst) places in the multiverse. Thanks Sonne!

If you like the music on the show, go check out more of Reilly's music.

Follow us wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. You can also get episodes right from the source at our RSS feed. If you enjoy Campaign Spotlight, consider subscribing to our Patreon. For more on the show, including links to all our social media, visit our website.  

[sonneillonv]

@reucrion and @sonneillonv are proud to launch our Patreon! We are working on the first of our Tourist's Guide projects, which will be supplements exploring different realms in the gaming multiverse. Join to get project updates, free content, assets, and merch reviews, as well as access to a brand new serial by Sonneillon V!

Descent Into Avernus Do you enjoy Lets Plays? Would you like to explore the story behind game modules without actually having to play through them? Or maybe you don't have a consistent D&D group, but you still want a chance to experience the twists and turns of established in-universe stories. As a special bonus, even the lowest subscription tier can enjoy a serialized fic based on the popular D&D 5e Module "Descent Into Avernus", updated 2x monthly. Read a sample below!

(Refuge, Undersigil)

The deep, bass pounding of the drums shook the walls and floor. Ceiling too, if the intermittent rain of mortar was any indication. It rattled Hyx's organs, demanded his heart take on the beat, which was exactly how he liked it. The orcs in The Well were doing something really interesting with carefully pitched industrial grinding noises they made with rusted machine parts, chanting in dissonant harmony with the groaning cry of the war horn their tattooed tanarukk lead was blowing.

 The other patrons seemed to like it as much as he did, crashing their bodies together on the cracked, silt-stained dance floor and crowding around the bar, a collection of salvage lashed together with hemp cord and nails, propped against a stack of re-used barrels. The drinks were swill, clouded with sediment, but they flowed fast and free, and they were strong enough to ignore the taste most of the time. Hyx was good with the trade - no one in The Refuge would expect better - but he wasn't a noob. He was alternating. The thirst that propelled him from the crowd, weaving between bodies in the wild strobe of colored magical light, demanded water.

Fiends were immune or resistant to a lot of things that hurt mortals, but suffering for one's excesses was half the purpose of hell, so hangovers weren't on the list.

The water was warm and the dented tin mug made it taste metallic, but it was clean enough. He guzzled it and considered stepping outside for a piss, extracting himself from the bar crowd and shifting toward the entrance so he could puff his feathers and get some air on his skin. As a result, he was standing in easy view when a three-tailed celestial fox demon with long, white hair pushed past the crowd at the door. Hyx ground his teeth on a sigh and made a token effort to look for an escape route, but he wasn't fast enough.

Siblings were another form of suffering fiends were allowed, nay, encouraged to experience.

Xien strode in his direction, eyes burning white in the darkness between strobes. His expression was anger, exasperation, concern... different colors highlighted different emotions. It would have been fascinating if Hyx hadn't been busy bracing for impact.

He opened with, "It's 2am," and Hyx scoffed because he never understood why normies bothered pointing that out to people like him. If he was out partying until 2am, it was clearly because he didn't give two shits.

"I know," he shouted over the music, favoring his brother with a toothy smile. "You're just in time -  party just hit its stride!"

Exasperation took center stage. Xien knew when he was being annoying on purpose. "We have an early check-out."

"I'll sleep on the trip."

"You'll be hungover and puking on the trip," Xien shot back. "Come back to the inn and get it out of your system so I don't have to smell it all day."

Hyx grinned. "You're not going to fix it? Disrespectful. Am I not your favorite anymore?" He hooked an arm around Xien-di's neck and bonked their horns together clumsily, swaying a little. "Didi, breaking my heart. Respect your elders."

"Gege," Xien said as patiently as he could while shouting to be heard, "Don't just assume I'll restore you if you get excessively fucked up. That kind of spell takes effort, actually. Magic isn’t free."

"Of course it's not." He rolled his eyes and walked Xien over to a wall near the exit where it was a little easier to hear. "So what do you want?"

"You've had fun, you've gotten drunk, probably high. It's a good night, right?” Xien was clearly doing his best to sound reasonable. “So wrap it up, come back to the inn now, and when you start feeling like shit I'll restore you... as long as you go to bed, STAY in bed, and let ME sleep until you actually need help."

"You bargain like a fucking devil," Hyx sighed, but he couldn't help a lopsided smile.

"I bargain like I have two older brothers," Xien tossed back. "Agreed?"

He snorted and tugged one of A-Xien’s fluffy ears. "The little princess of Seven Springs Mountain doesn't get to talk. You should have grown up at Broken Stone, THEN you could bitch about siblings." But he extended his hand with an air of great affront, prepared to trade a few more hours of fun for a get-out-of-hangover-free card.

Then the floor dropped out from under them.

x-x-x

You see, once upon a time, there was a cistern.

In the beginning, there wasn't anything very remarkable about it. It was built of stone and rusting metal, a reservoir for rainwater and run-off from the streets above. It was dark and quiet and alone, except for the ever-growing collection of trash it accumulated as the water ebbed and flowed through it. A peaceful, forgotten place that caused no problems and earned no accolades. Well-behaved cisterns seldom make history.

One day, a creature came to dwell in its collected waters. Slimy and seditious, with grasping tentacles and rings of saw-like teeth, it nestled into the darkness under the streets and made its home there. It attracted no attention and bothered no one, because its focus was elsewhere - an entirely different world, far from the floating city that contained it, a true planet with mountains and seas and a molten core that spun it around its sun. In that world, the creature had enemies and it lusted for their destruction, plotting daily, weaving spells and wearing down the barriers between itself and its prize. After many years of effort, it made a tunnel that would allow it to prey on the people it hungered for and retreat back to its nest from any resistance, escaping across the worlds, across the planes, where no one would reach it. It thought itself very clever for this.

Unfortunately, monstrous behavior indicates the presence of a monster, and the presence of a monster attracts adventurers. The greatest plague in all the realms, relentlessly nosey do-gooders, incapable of minding their own business... the whole phenomenon of adventuring parties is roundly condemned by would-be tyrants everywhere. And sometimes they are versed in magic, though the creature would have considered them clumsy as children compared to itself, limited in their minds, incapable of even rudimentary telepathy and limited to communicating via disgusting sounds they made with their actual MOUTHS. They hammered at the Weave like a child hammers at a toy lute, but they hit the right notes and the creature found itself cut off from its retreat.

All its plans collapsed quickly after that.

But even as its cartilaginous mouth with its rings of serrated teeth was mounted, hung in the halls of its killers as a trophy, the tunnel remained. With no living creature to maintain it, it anchored itself to those teeth, yawning wide enough to swallow a man whole. Then it went to sleep.

Time passed.

The forgotten cistern was truly forgotten. The waterworks of the floating city changed: new cisterns were dug and old, crumbling ones closed off. All paths leading to our subject were closed, and over time the water drained away and left only the refuse.

Decades later, someone exploring the depths of the floating city broke through a crumbling wall and found a vast space full of gently-rotting trash. Then another wall was broken through, and another, as the desperate dwellers in the dark searched for the resources to prolong their miserable lives. The former cistern became a place where the poor and suffering gathered. They dug for valuables, traded them, and eventually dumped their own trash so the next seeker could rifle through it.

The large, round hole in the ceiling didn't concern any of them. No one had reason to explore it, and even if they had, the tunnel was sleeping.

Because it was hidden and secure, the cistern became a place to trade not only garbage, but also information. Soon there was a goblin spit-roasting rats for barter. Then an enterprising wight began rolling barrels of his hobby wine down on alternate days and making deals for a stiff drink.

They called it Refuse at first, painting the letters over the entrances in used whitewash. Then, after a raid on Undersigil, someone messily painted over the 's' with a mismatched 'g' and it became Refuge. Availability of food and alcohol expanded. Locals gathered to make music together in street-corner bands, attracting others. Regular vendors pooled resources to have magic lights installed. Foot traffic swelled. Refuge became a place, not just to find things, but to lose them - inhibitions, memories, responsibilities, cares. It was elysium. As long as you kept the peace, nobody cared who you were. Living refuse, drifting into the cistern and settling in to stay.

Still, the tunnel slept.

Worlds away, there was a catastrophe. 

As it happens, the creature that had once resided in the cistern died not far from a tavern called Two Black Antlers, and its jaw was now displayed there amidst the remains of a dozen other monsters as an adventuring trophy. That tavern and its surroundings were being pulled across planar boundaries. Spikes were driven deep into the earth, chains rattling from Faerun to Avernus, reeling and ratcheting an entire city down to Hell. Dragged with it, the tunnel awoke screaming in the language of time and space and magic. It twisted, tearing, shrieking as the delicate threads of sympathy began to snap. But in the moment before it shattered forever, the tunnel opened and a portal bloomed between that old, crumbling cistern and a tavern sinking into Avernus. The ancient mortar gave - floors, ceiling, and walls all shattered. Screaming patrons and debris spun through the hole between worlds as if the dead aboleth itself exhaled them into Avernus, a last predatory act.

Then the portal shattered. The connection between planes dissolved into the nothingness between, and the place where the cistern had been was deathly quiet.

Casualty reports would change continually over the next few weeks as investigators in Faerun tried to tally the number of missing from the once-resplendent city of Elturel. Eventually the figure would crest 15,000.

The 73 victims from Undersigil went unmarked. No one even knew to look for them.

Like the rain trickling down the culverts of Sigil, they had disappeared into the dark.

[robthegoodfellow]

thanks for tag @hephaestn 💛

tag people you want to get to know better!

relationship status: it’s complicated 😅

favourite color: greens

favourite foods: ramen, baklava, del’s lemonade

song stuck in head: thunderstruck ac/dc

last thing i googled: cleric domains

current time: 6:30 EST

dream trip: new zealand/aotearoa

something i want: more time to just write

no pressure tags: @oneshortdamnfuse @giurochedadomani @nogitsunbae @sonneillonv @ihni @keziahrain

[brookbee]

(Not demanding just observing) That K/S baseball piece needs a nice contrast piece. Like, same poses, but it's Ben Sisko and Solok 😋 Extra points if Captain "I invent complex rituals to engage in physical touch with human males and then I obsess about it for the rest of my life" Solok is looking over his shoulder at Sisko with exactly as much longing 💜

Oooh that’s such a good idea! I’ll see if I can whip something up!!

[biillyhargroves]

1 - how many pillows do you sleep with? 4 - describe your dream house 13 - do you have a signature in your style/everyday outfits?

how many pillows do you sleep with? One to three depending on the night! I've had some breathing issues post-covid (it is...delightful) so sometimes I need the extras to prop myself up and breathe a little better.

describe your dream house. I want a farmhouse and lots of land so that I can have animals and a little homestead. The only thing I really care about having inside the house is a good sized kitchen and a library. Otherwise, I'm more focused on finding someplace with enough land to open an animal sanctuary! I want to rescue farm animals and senior & disabled pets one day if/when I actually have the money for that.

do you have a signature in your style/everyday outfits? Is only ever wearing black a signature? Oh, and I do have a tendency to wear boots even when the weather is not agreeable to boots. Also, at least five rings at all times. I feel weird if I don't wear them. It's a sensory thing. And dark lipstick. And I have a specific way of painting my nails. So, more style things than I thought, lol.

some very random asks

[belovedharringrove]

I KNOW RIGHT??? Isn't October supposed to be Whump Month? There have been so many really heartbreaking pieces on my dash lately and some of them are pretty painful. Hopeless. I understand people want to work their stuff out in fic, I'm totally in support of 'write what you want', but like- OW.

exactly!!! and like i mentioned, i love and appreciate my mutuals and i admire everyone on my dash but, like. i’m supporting them through tears. like woohoo!!! this writing is amazing!!!! also this resonates deeply with me and i am currently sobbing alone in my room in the dark!!! good job!! amazing!!!

i know for a fact that if billy were real and he saw all the posts from the billy fandom he’d be so confused 😭 “do they love me or hate me? because they keep putting me in painful situations” djskshsj

[sarahnevra]

@sonneillonv @gunpowderandgelatine this just seems on brand for several in town 🤣

[oddthesungod]

So in the unlikely occasion that a Vulcan asks you to stay over at their house as a guest, the culturally expected thing to do is get up the next morning and make breakfast for the household.

Zenik is married to Icheb because part of the reason he exists is that I refuse to accept Icheb's super-depressing canon **cough** and Icheb's adoptive mom is, of course, Seven of Nine. So, before popping the question, Zenik wanted to introduce Icheb and Seven to HIS mom, so he invited them to the monastery in the south of Gol where he grew up for shore leave. And trying to be all respectful, they did some research and figured out the breakfast thing. So the two ex-Borg get up before dawn and sneak down to the kitchen to try to make a good impression on this Vulcan priestess, only to discover their appliance technology is AT LEAST a century out of date and they can't make ANY of it work.

A bit later, sensing a disturbance in The Force, Zenik wakes up and follows his gut instincts downstairs. Where he finds his boyfriend and his boyfriend's adoptive mother sitting on his mother's kitchen floor covered in grease and soot and surrounded by parts of her stove/oven, which they had COMPLETELY dismantled. Because once they started 'fixing' it, they realized they could make it work the bare minimum.... or they could rebuild it and increase its operating efficiency by 247%, and they're Borg, so like, is that even really a CHOICE?

Anyway now that you've stuck with me for this entire story, ahem. IMAGINE JIM AND BONES TRYING TO BE POLITE GUESTS IN THE HOUSE OF SAREK. DISCOVERING THIS CULTURAL RULE. MAKING A PLAN. SNEAKING DOWNSTAIRS BEFORE DAWN. AND THEN THE OVEN. DOESN'T. WORK.

CHAOS.

GAJHASDH Jim freaking the fuck out like "what do we do what do we do i know only how to make pancakes and waffles but i have no idea how any of this vulcan kitchen stuff WORKS, i don't even READ Vulcan"

Bones rummaging all the cupboards trying to find anything resembling like........ fruits for breakfast because he's never really seen Vulcan fruits cuz they always have the whole damn meal done instantly via the replicators. Holding a blue fruit and a bowl of green raspberry looking mfs to Jim like "jim for the love of god are these fruits???????? are they edible raw???????? should i cook these??????"

Spock wakes up at the crack of dawn, finds his bfs missing and goes down to the kitchen. Jim and Bones are sitting on the floor of the kitchen with their heads in their hands and theres a mess of open cupboards and food spread over the counter

[prokopetz]

Hey, Tumblr's search function is garbage, I wonder if you recall making a D&D shenanigans post about spiders living in someone's basement and contesting them on the deed? I really liked that and wanted to review it as a possible encounter but now I can't find it

I think you might be mixing up two separate posts there:

There’s one where a low-level quest goes off the rails when the party is hired to clear an infestation of giant rats from the basement of the village inn, only for the rats to claim to be the establishment’s true owners and present paperwork to prove it (link)

There’s one about a former evil empire turned anarcho-syndicalist federation whose human inhabitants coexist with a species of famously litigious spiders (link)

(The spiders are, of course, expies from an earlier brainstorming post that somehow transformed into a very long setup for a pun about “arachno-communism” – apparently my posts just do that even when I don’t plan it!)

[sarahnevra]

@sonneillonv

okay but what if we had cowboys but the cowboys were VAMPIRES

[threefeline]

Hey, it's Tumblr Savior, or at least it was for me. Go into the settings and make sure the boxes for 'hide source' or whatever aren't checked. You may also need to reset most of your blocked terms, I did.

THANK YOUUUUUU AAAAAAAA 

[stitch-n-time]

hjakjklklfl you're so cool, I'm geeking out over that lapel watches factoid

HISTORIANS KNOW WEIRD SHIT, OK???

... also, I watched Call the Midwife.

But thanks! I thinks you’re pretty awesome, too!