ough ohhhhh augh I'm not the person that I thought I was, couldn't tell you where the ache came from maybe born in a storm beneath an angry sky now it's raining in my head nearly all the time now it's raining in my head and I don't know why
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Currently rewatching S1E4: The Transplant and, while I knew that Blanche's relationship with her parents & sisters is very complicated, I'd forgotten just how bad her situation at home was until now. Bullying aside (like, seriously, Virginia electrocuted her, what even???), she says her parents essentially forgot she (and Charmaine) existed once Virginia was born.
Now, Blanche is very prone to exaggeration (and we know she's done some shady stuff to her sisters too), but still -- she remembers her father calling her the bad seed. Believing Virginia over her about the whole electrocution thing (and I mean -- wouldn't that leave some visible consequences on the victim?), sending her to her room on Christmas Eve, telling her that "Baby Jesus was mad at [her] for ruining his birthday"... even if she's playing the incident up, there's got to be a base feeling of neglect (and competition with her sisters) she's speaking from.
No wonder she's so attached to her dad and so keen on impressing him! She's had to fight for crumbs of his attention and love basically all her life!!
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reestablishing that I Do Not Listen To Lyrics and this is speaking on a purely sonic level
like sincerely I have not been paying attention at all to what ms. swift is saying. anyways. the opinion that follows is unsurprising to me as I don't like ballads and I've always been picky about my swift songs but the only track off the album that had my ears perking up was I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can). interesting instrumentation and I'm very into the percussion on that track. wish she'd throw more power into her voice (I think she was getting there on Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?) but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatcha gonna do
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