#somewhat-germane

[cosmogyros]

(Reblog this version please!) Okay fuck it. I was too nervous to post this at first, but I see tons of non-Germans wanting to know what's going on right now. So here's my summary. Thanks to my buddy @keldermans and another German friend not on Tumblr for taking a glance at it to make sure I didn't get anything too horribly wrong <3 Any remaining errors are my bad!

I spent much of today writing up an outline of the current soap-opera drama going on in the German government, for my non-German-speaking friends who'd like to enjoy the tea as well.

Disclaimer: I am not technically German, but I did my best to explain this all as accurately as possible (and I did get a couple of Actual Germans to check it over for me).

For THE GERMAN DRAMA, see below...

Cast of characters:

The German government coalition (known as the “Ampel” – traffic light – due to its colors):

Olaf Scholz, Chancellor (leader) of Germany. Party: SPD (color: red). - and the other Red party members in the coalition - this includes the Minister of Health, Karl Lauterbach

Christian Lindner, Minister of Finance of Germany. Party: FDP (color: yellow). - and the other Yellow party members in the coalition (four FDP members) - this includes the Minister of Transport, Volker Wissing - and the Minister of Justice, Marco Buschmann

Robert Habeck, Vice-Chancellor of Germany. Party: Greens (color: green) - and the other Green party members in the coalition.

Other characters: Friedrich Merz, likely to become the next Chancellor. Party: CDU (color: black).

The events I can recall so far, in roughly chronological order over the past five days:

1. The government coalition argues all day Wednesday, trying to pass laws while Lindner refuses to agree to anything. In the evening, Scholz loses his patience and fires Lindner with the legendary words, “Dann, lieber Christian, möchte ich nicht mehr, dass Du meinem Kabinett angehörst. ...So. Doof.” (In that case, my dear Christian, I don’t want you in my cabinet anymore. ...Well. Sucks.)

2. Scholz then calls a press conference and gives a surprisingly impressive speech in which his rage is barely concealed. He includes some sharp jabs at Lindner and sounds very personally betrayed by the breakup.

Scholz's speech includes the immediately-legendary line “Zu oft hat er mein Vertrauen gebrochen” (Too often has he broken my trust), which everyone here in Germany is now obsessively quoting.

He declares that he will ask for a vote of confidence in January, and if he fails it (as is expected), he will call for new elections in March, six months earlier than they would otherwise have taken place.

3. Lindner gives a very emotional and self-pitying speech in which he declares “Ich habe gelitten” (I have suffered) – another phrase that becomes an instant classic with those of us watching from the sidelines – and he includes some sharp jabs at Scholz.

4. Showing solidarity with their fellow party member Lindner, all the rest of the FDP members in the coalition resign from the government too… except for Wissing, who instead decides to quit his own political party, the FDP, in order to stay in government and keep his job. He is now a party-less politician!

5. Habeck gives an emotional statement to the press, practically in tears, coming across like a kid whose parents are divorcing and he doesn’t know how to handle it. In a maudlin moment of his speech, he compares the collapse of the coalition to the end of a relationship.

6. At the end of Habeck’s statement, a reporter calls after him: “Is Lindner going to apply for Bürgergeld benefits?”

(Background: There are two tiers of unemployment benefits in Germany. To explain it in a somewhat tasteless way, there’s kind of a class distinction. If you come from a “higher-class” profession, you can typically start by getting ALG I, which is more money. If you are unemployed for the long term or come from a “lower-class” working background, you get Bürgergeld. The stereotype about people on Bürgergeld benefits is that they spend it all on drugs and alcohol and sit on park benches getting drunk all day. Also, Lindner is known for trying to pass legislation to reduce social benefits of all kinds, including unemployment benefits.)

7. Background: After the failed assassination attempt on Trump earlier this year, a popular German comedian called El Hotzo posted a joke online saying basically “too bad he missed” and promptly got fired for saying that. He kept his spirits up and joked about the job loss, saying “Ich bin Deutschlands frechster Arbeitsloser” (I’m Germany’s cheekiest unemployed boy).

Back to the present: At a press conference, a reporter asks Lindner: “How are you handling the statements being made about you online right now, such as ‘This is Germany’s cheekiest unemployed boy’?”

Lindner seems to need a long moment to figure out how to reply to this question.

8. The next day, Habeck coyly soft-launches his candidacy for Chancellor by posting a mysterious video of himself on social media in which he’s wearing a cute beaded friendship bracelet that spells out “Kanzler Era” (Chancellor Era). This is apparently a Taylor Swift reference (?).

In this video, he’s sitting in an atmospherically-lit room, writing at a table. It appears that Lindner had posted a very similar picture of himself in the past, because he now tweets in response to Habeck: “All Democrats welcome here, Robert! You got the setup almost right – the lamp was on the other side. ;)” (and he adds his own pic, which indeed very much resembles Habeck’s video)

9. Angela Merkel muses publicly, “Maybe God only created the FDP in order to test us all.” (ETA: She said this a while ago, not in response to the present situation. But it's still so true :'D)

10. A mainstream German news podcast sassily comments on Friday:

“While Olaf 'Too often has he broken my trust' Scholz is enjoying his party’s admiration for his cowboy moment and Christian 'I have suffered' Lindner is going through his own personal St. Matthew’s Passion […]”

11. Buschmann (one of the FDP party members who resigned), who apparently moonlights as a composer of electronic music under the handle "MBSounds", drops a new self-composed track on SoundCloud about the collapse of the Ampel government. It’s called “To Go Is to Stand”.

The news comments dryly: “Well, at least he doesn’t sing on the track.” (Buschmann's previous biggest hit was simply an angry speech of Lindner’s, set to music.)

Lauterbach (one of the SPD party members still in office) tweets: “No offense, but I don’t think I’ll be listening to that song more than once. But still, it was good working with you, Marco.”

12. The media ask Scholz if he’s throwing his hat in the ring to run for Chancellor again. He says yes. They ask, in what ways is he different from Friedrich Merz (the dude who’s currently expected to win)? And he replies “Ich finde mich etwas cooler, wenn es um Staatsangelegenheiten geht” (I think I’m somewhat cooler [than him] when it comes to matters of state).

And now the German media is making up new words like "scholzen" (which I can only presume means "as the leader of a country, to fire other government members you don't get along with"):

[Headline translation: "Who Donald Trump will 'scholz' first"]

[spinnenpfote6]

I just re-read some pages of The Fellowship Of The Ring and I don't get why so many people take issue with around-20-y/o Elijah Wood being cast. While Frodo Baggins is indeed canonically about 50 years old, the book specifically mentions how he looks like someone fresh out of his teens because he kept the One Ring for multiple years, which is known to keep their owner young and fresh (at least at the beginning until they rapidly age after getting rid of it) - not to mention that since hobbits age slower than humans, Frodo would only be in maybe his 30s. On one page we are being told that multiple people gossip and wonder about how young he still looks, including Gandalf. So if anything, you could say that Elijah Wood was too skinny or too attractive (though I do think he looks like Frodo is described), but not too young.

And I actually like that he looks young because it not only does it make him look cute and innocent, but we also get the notion of someone who has had a relatively quiet and happy, sheltered life before (aside from the terrible death of his parents) and of someone who is visibly sensitive and innocent and gets taken care of a lot. The BIGGEST reason I like his young looks however, is the parallel to young soldiers who are ripped out of their homes by outer forces, by older men who are the ones who started the wars. Young soldiers whose lives are practically destroyed before they even really begin, just like Frodo's - even if he's already half a century old. He comes back traumatized and sick/disabled having saved the world but having lost so much. Most likely his innocence too.

[hungwy]

JLPT N3 is comparable to CEFR B1; JLPT N2 is equivalent to CEFR B2, and JLPT N1 basically requires the same skills as CEFR C1. but consider the fact that to get to JLPT N1, the highest level of fluency for the most popular Japanese proficiency test, you need, on average, starting from no knowledge of Japanese at all (including kanji), 3000–4800 hours. to get to CEFR C2 in German, that being the highest level of the most popular framework for measuring European-language proficiency, you should study around 750 hours, maybe more. mind you this is measured with monolingual native English speaker -> target language perspectives in mind, but still, like, what the hell man. look at the requirements:

CEFR C2 (750-900 hours in German): "[understanding] with ease virtually everything heard or read … [and expressing oneself] spontaneously, very fluently and precisely, differentiating finer shades of meaning even in the most complex situations."

JLPT N1 (3000-4800 hours): "able to read [various and profound] writings with [logical/abstract] complexity … [and] comprehend orally presented materials [in a wide variety of settings] … spoken at natural speed … [and] also able to understand the details … such as the relationships among the people involved, the logical structures, and the essential points."

if you study German well for 3 hours a day, every day, nonstop, until you hit the 750 hours of study for CEFR C2, you're more than fluent in 250 days. okay, the US State Department says you need 900 hours, so the time it takes to become fluent changes to... oh... 300 days.

if you study Japanese well for 3 hours a day, every day, nonstop, until you hit the 3000 hours of study for JLPT N1, you're more-or-less fluent (not even definitively!) in 2.7 years. for 4800 hours it takes 4.3 years.

and studying 3 hours a day every day is basically unreasonable for most people! not to mention "real language heads" study for 10 hours a day. a regular person would probably do about an hour or two a day, right? and probably have weekends where studying doesn't happen. so let's say 2 hours a day, monday-friday; 10 hours a week. with 52.14 weeks in a year, you get about 521.4 hours of studying in per year.

with this regimen you achieve considerable German fluency in about a year and a half of study, and are probably on the same level as university students. the same habits will get you high-school-level Japanese fluency in 8 years.

now obviously all this assumes a lot: consistent learning ability, consistently paced lessons, not skipping any days, not forgetting anything, etc etc etc. but i think these numbers more or less hold

[please-let-this-work-oh-my-god]

One thing I find very interesting, as a learner of German, is Isolde's usage of du when speaking to Kakania. In German, there are three main second person pronouns: du, ihr and Sie. The first two are mainly used in informal and casual settings or when talking to people you're close with (with du being singular and ihr being plural sorta similar to english's y'all) while Sie is used in more formal situations (or situations which require some form of formality) such as talking to strangers, customer service or when you're talking to a doctor/patient. Kakania abides by this and uses Sie when talking to Isolde (such as in her speech at the end of chapter 6) but interestingly, Isolde doesn't reciprocate this and instead uses du when conversing with Kakania in German.

This is super fascinating to me because it implies different levels of closeness within their relationship. Isolde's usage of du implies a level of closeness and intimacy to Kakania as Isolde herself saw Kakania as a close friend (most likely due to the fact that Kakania was once of the few people in Vienna who actually sympathized with her and saw her as a human being) but Kakania's siezen suggests a certain level of estrangement or distance between her and Isolde. Of course. this could just be her maintaining her professionalism as doctors normally use Sie when talking to patients but with how things turned out after chapters 6 and 7, I'd like to think this goes deeper than just formality standards.

[iamthepulta]

*stares at 30 reblogs of "deep down you want to bite someone with 100% power just once"*

*writes: "m00t is reincarnated crocodile (beloved)" on notepad*

[the-clintster]

No matter how good you drive, trains drive goods.

[buck-up-buck]

i think 7x10 just gave me my new favourite Buck and Tommy scene and I am going FERAL over it.

i-

can it be September please😭

[pinkinsect]

isaness fic where they sit down and explain to each other the specific way they come off through the translation software. mildly ooc content that appeals specifically to Me

[rhuns-zahnseide]

Xio Xio in "Der Mann im Mond - Akt 4"

[leonsliga]

manuelneuer:

Danke für diesen unglaublichen EM-Auftakt, München! 🇩🇪 So haben wir uns den Start gewünscht! 💪 #EURO24

Thank you for this incredible start to the European Championship, Munich! 🇩🇪 This is exactly how we wanted it to start! 💪 #EURO24

[hanzajesthanza]

i was looking up tips for formatting bilingual books (for example, a copy of idk the iliad with ancient greek on one side, english translation on the other), but i didn’t know the word describing this kind of format 🤔

so i was stringing together keywords like “book with two languages” and one of the results was a reddit post with someone trying to find a book that alternates between multiple languages, i.e., there are no translations, it’s it’s one text, but half of the story is in english, then the other half, or interwoven throughout, is in french or whatever

and it took strength to not suggest the hussite trilogy 🥴

[ynneleac]

"If you don't give us the information we want, Mr. Bond, we will be forced to manipulate photos of you to look like a fairy twink and post them online. Do you really want us to be forced to take such drastic measures, Mr. Bond?"

[queerofthedagger]

I've been (mostly) out for years but sometimes there's moments like. over the last two weeks both of my clients, for some reason, just casually asked me if i had a boyfriend or girlfriend, and it's like. of course they would I've literally been to pride with one of them and all that! but also I'm really just out at work and get asked if i have a partner of any gender without the slightest awkwardness and as an early 90s kid that dug their way through an absolute cesspit of biphobia and bi erasure it maybe still makes me want to sob into my pillow a little, every once in a while like. fucking hell. a lot of shit still sucks but a lot of shit also got so so so much better already

[syssyadmin]

gay girls on the internet have convinced me to play signalis unintentionally 👍

[chiara-klara-claire]

2022-2023, tragedies, a bookmark I bought at Utrecht train station, moomin, Swedish and German novels, book about Dutch cities I got at the King’s day Rommelmarkt

[voiceemporium]

Cassandra Pentaghast in Dragon Age Inquisition voiced by Miranda Raison