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HAPPY 7 YEARS OF HYPMIC EVERYONE đ°đ„łđ°đ„łđ°đ„ł
to celebrate, iâm just going to list seven moments hypmic irrevocably changed the trajectory of my entire life lmao
1ïžâŁ buying the lives was probably the best worst thing i could have ever done to myself lmao. by the time iâd realised you could buy them, only the 2nd&3rd lives were out on dvd (theyâre bundled together on one set), and though it wasnât the first hypmic purchase i made, it kicked off the lives obsession lol. the 2nd live in particular blew my mind lol it was the first time most of the cast were on stage for hypmic and iâll never forget the happy surprise on kijima-sanâs face when the crowd screamed along to his call and response parts in drb lol. on top of that, kimura beatboxed live on stage confirming it really was ichiro beatboxing, shiraimu and nozu in lieu of souma-sanâs absence gave it their all singing his parts and nozu dropped the sickest freestyle, and the samajuto cigarette kiss was born and so thoroughly rewired everyoneâs brains, it just became part of samatokiâs character lmao
2ïžâŁ this list very easily can be just about the lives lol but i also loved getting to watch them live lol. forever and always đđcorona but getting to sidestep around abemaâs booboo dookie region locks to watch the 5th live set off a precedence for needing to live watch them lmao. itâs probably the snowball that kicked off the avalanche that convinced me to try to go to japan for the first time in ten years, give or take, and batâs 8th live day two was their most special live yet lmao
3ïžâŁ ITS NOT A LIVE ITS A STREAM LOL but the moment the kuukou brainrot roundhouse kicked me in the face was watching kuukouâs spirit possess hayama-san in real time lol i would have saved myself from so much heartbreak if i had stayed a matenhoe but nooooooo kuukou had to manifest in his seiyuu and i haaaaaad to watch it happen live and now iâm kuukouâs btch đ
4ïžâŁ wanna know how i became a matenrou stan lol???? jakuraiâs voice introducing matenrou to the world in drb and hifumi flexing the love his women give to him makes him filthy rich lmao


5ïžâŁ iâve felt a lot of frustration whilst mucking about in hypmic land, but i donât think i have ever experienced as frustrating emotional rollercoaster ride more than the one hypstage has taken me on lmao!!!!! hypmic sneakily changing their description of the franchise from âvoice projectâ to âmultimedia projectâ when it was announced, okay actually showing a fantastic story despite hypmicâs âlackâ of one back in the day, nagosaka getting introduced and giving us simultaneously the best and âworstâ depiction of kuukou, only exclude them in the following tracks lmaooo, creating a really cool concept for mixing division pairs with an oridivi only for it to get cancelled like genuinely đđcovid but rolling up with the greatest comeback in the form of the rep lives where in the middle of the run we were given the best kuukou performance yet, shortly followed by the announcement that everyone was graduating!!!!!!!! but bop 2023 was magical; a fantastic send off to a legendary cast and closure to the pinnacle of stage production and hypmic storytelliâ the stage was rebooted six months later in an absolute betrayal that was quite literally assuaged my love for hypmic, hatred for nelke and getting REAL WOMEN on stage lmao
6ïžâŁ and so like lemme circle back around to batâs 8th live lmao. do you know how crazy that time was lol???? bat stans threw together a really sick flower display at a local flower shop, crowdfunded to make the lights display in this popular mall in nagoya shine purple for them, bars dedicating drinks for bat and welcoming live goers for an after party drink, day two of the live fell on batâs 3rd anniversary and a few days prior they dropped the bright and dark mv for hypstage and the hella awesome banquet mv that bat stans ripped to shreds analysing jp bat fans my BELOVED lmao november is truly a bat month lol but anyway the 8th live was a peak time and i miss it daily!!!!!!!!
7ïžâŁ instead of being really gross and sappy about kuukou or the piece of merch that got me into hypmic lol shoutout to the music like actually lol. dba locked me in the moment i listened to it and i think very fondly of those days going thru the youtube for more lol. gave me a refreshed appreciation for music, esp jp music, got me to listen to more music instead of the couple hundred or so songs iâve been listening to since i was in middle school LOL. so thanks hypmic, for giving me peak dissociation songs (like tigridia), the hypest shit that had me yelling (like moonlight shadow) and songs that had my heart racing at 3 in the morning and thoroughly unable to sleep lol (can you believe kaigen exists in this world and they let that shit drop during bat vs mtr 6th live and bc the bat seiyuuâs stage presence is just top tier they blew it out of the park frame one and she says the brainrot didnât truly settle until live watching hayama-san get possessed but the damage was truly done listening to that calced cacophony of noise and in the ensuing silence as hayama-sanâs âkaigenâ echoed throughout the studio OH IM GOING TO BE SICKâ)
#this is vee speaking#ik i said i was doing a song list but iâll save that for later lol đ#i also intended to have some fanart but i instead prioritised other endeavours instead of drawing *wheeze*#but man lol!!!! 7 years is a long time lol!!!!!#i donât think i expected to be here as long as i have been despite hating fandom hopping in the first place#and thank goodness iâve stuck it out lol like i have made a lot of bad decisions in the name of hypmic lmao#but iâve also gotten to go to japan when i personally never thought i would again lol!!!!! learn new shit!!!!#have a fandom blog thatâs lasted more than a year on my part lmao where people sometimes discuss stuff with me!!!!!!!#itâs fun lol iâve had a lot of fun đđđđđđ#HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN HYPMIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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yall the truth is đ§ââïžđ§ââïžđ§ââïžđ§ââïž
there isn't anything specific that mina said WAAAAHHHH it was just meant to imply that a rumor about you and nerd bakugou getting together was floating around đ„șđ„șđ„ș
#SORRY TO DISAPPOINT#sometimes i like to keep things open đ„ș so you can put your own personal thoughts in there đ„ș#make it a little more fitted to you đ„ș#what do you WANT mina to have said about you and him ?? đ„ș#then that's what she said đïżœïżœâšïž#âż shut up willow
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taking screenshots of absolutely everything wins again đ
#me: having a fragment of a thought that MIGHT be serviced by a specific passage from the jedi apprentice books#but i found itđ me circa 2023 april-sometime has me if no one has me#going through my screenshots also makes me incredibly sad obviously but also đđ#glad that i am Like This
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Cat's outta the bag, I'm a Bruise shipper đ
I'm not a big ship person but they're so cute dude. I didn't want to like them at first but if they can have Jay and Nya together then I don't see why the others can't be together too. Except for Lloyd. He is Not their age I don't give a DAYUMN about the aging tea
{Please reblog my art <3}

I didn't trace it but this was the base I followed
#nya's voice: Jole!!!#in my canon Cole never tried to steal his best friend's gf ok#in my canon she cheated on him but not with any of the ninja. unnamed oc type o thing#in my canon Cole crushed on Jay around the time Zane entered the chat#he didnt totally know what it was until Kai joined#he finally figured it out for real when Nya and Jay went on their first actual date#in my canon Cole is gay. HOWEVER#in my canon Jay is also trans#so in my canon Cole thinks his crush is over when they all find out Jay (frankly) doesnt have pp#but hes SO WRONG#in my canon Cole likes dudes but he later learns that his partner's body doesnt matter as much to him. personality is sexier ;)#hence demisexual flag#in my canon they got together sometime after Tournament of Elements#had a whole dramatic confession during their battle and plot prevented it from being addressed until off screen basically#in my canon they are healthy and happy and in love goddammit#and Nya learns from her mistakes and everyone is on good terms đ mostly#i have so much backstory thought up for Jay i could go on for hours but we're not getting into it rn#(i cant tell if it was fun or a total nightmare to draw the logo on Cole's hoodie#it's merch from his dad's quartet :D#so many tags im so sorry)#my art#digital art#jay walker ninjago#cole brookestone ninjago#ninjago headcanons#lgbtq+ headcanons#bruise ninjago#bruise shipping
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one of my (creative) resolutions for next year is to whinge less about writing being hard. đ itâs not hardâitâs just a fussy process sometimes that also has to compete with me like, doing other things. đ
iâve been feeling a lil disconnected from the community, thanks to a deadly combo of a) just not reading x reader stuff at the moment and b) not having a faster output on my own pieces. đ for better or for worse, tumblr is a ecosystem that relies on constant output, and i am not a sprinter in that regard; i am unforch a long distance ambler. đđđ but this disconnect has meant that iâve kinda lagged behind with an empty waterbottle and am now asking myself what i want my priorities to be: do i keep running the long race or switch over to the sprint track?
ultimately, no matter what fancies i get into my head, my biggest sense of creative satisfaction comes from seeing my ideas through. so beyond whatever momentary sillies you might see me indulge in, here, i think from now on iâm just going to make a concentrated effort to do the best by the WIPs i actively promise. đȘđœâš
anyways. hello and happy sunday. đ letâs go into december ready to take on the new year when it comes. đ€đœ âš
#there was no point to this post except⊠to whinge LMAOOO#alas unforch for us all i am human đ#but iâve been mulling over this as i hesitate over what it is i really want to do with the fics i have planned#and sometimes you just need to write the thoughts out đđ
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Man, talking to people that aren't buried in queer and furry culture like I am is such a good way to keep myself grounded. Like, one of my friends just asked me what a catboy or dogboy was (I made bead bracelets a long time ago saying those) and that gave me the chance to stop and think what I want those terms to mean for myself. Sometimes it's cool to have someone who just knows and understands, but other times it's super cool having folk around me that don't get it first try, no matter how weird that might sound to say.
#reminds me of when a friend J didn't understand my gender and asked me to explain#first of all I'm always down for a good infodump but that gave me the chance to sit and think what my gender actually means to me#I'm so used to expecting being ignored when folks don't understand that it always throws me off a bit#but I like getting to define terms for myself#(but also sometimes it's wonderful not having to explainâlike one of my friends just came out as genderfluid and so I got to tell them abou#how my gender is technically fluid because I know they understand instead of me getting stuck just explaining how I'm nonbinary)#anywayss cool thoughts#btw just finished moving in and having my first classes this semester - they're super cool and I might totally die of overwork this time LO#love my classes <3 all except my group-based computing classes I still don't know if I hate y'all or not#I just watched a movie for my Spanish class and it almost made me cry right before classes (if you know Roma you know)#but life's been good so far đ#fenn rambles#a glimpse into my real life lol#J friend jumpscare#A friend <3
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have you ever talked about Adam and Belle's wedding ? what they wore, if they ran off/tried to hide from guests, etc, etc, etc ????? please share I love weddings
EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! okay so actually fun fact i made a big master post about much of this stuff a couple years ago. SO GO READ THAT! but then come back because thatâs Mostly about the ceremony which means here i can discuss the reception >:)
actually i also have this tiny one from the ceremony. okay NOW reception time
iâm guessing the reception took place at their palace in paris. i know they have one, because they live there sometimes, so thatâs probably where the reception was. in the ballroom!!!! (and the dining hall for the FEAST!)
i say this in that other post but yeah i mean obviously dancing was the biggest aspect. belle danced with her father and adam danced with mrs. potts and at other points belle danced with lumiere and adam danced with plumette. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY??? adam and belle danced with each other almost Constantly.
they were very often beside each other, holding hands or adamâs hands on her waist. though they would get separated sometimes because so many people wanted to talk to them!!! :-(
this wedding was CRAZY like soooo many people came to it. the ballroom is like 4 times the size of the one at the castle in villeneuve. itâs just this giant hall and itâs full of people and mingling and laughing and dancing
WHICH IS VERY OVERWHELMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i think (and gosh iâd love to write this sometime, but havenât yet) i think at some point belle catches the look on adamâs face and she can just tell heâs way too overstimulated. in general he has a pretty good social mask but gosh itâs just the biggest event heâs been to in a Long Ass Time. so belle quietly takes his hand and leads him away. even the courtyard is full of people, but she knows he needs fresh air, so they go up some stairs and too a secret random room that has a balcony. and the noise change is so dramatic but Necessary. it is Silent now.
anyway they stand on the balcony and adam isnât saying anything at first but he hasnât stopped holding her hand
and belle squeezes it and asks if heâs okay and he eventually smiles at her and says yes. why did we invite so many people? and it makes her laugh. which makes him laugh :)
she hugs him around the waist and they both just breathe and look out at the view of sweet lovely paris. they probably talk more but iâll save that for when the fic is ever created đ©”đ€
anyway after that little break they do eventually rejoin the party and continue dancing the night away. itâs just such a whirlwind of a magical day.
#EEEEE :))#i debated if i should discuss⊠The Wedding Night⊠but you know what? iâll save it for now đ iâll keep my secrets đ#i wanna write the fic of their wedding night so badly and i do have a draft of it but the dialogue changes sometimes#just not saitiafied yet#also i donât wanna right the uh. Ahem. the actual Nightâąïž#just wanna write the lead up because itâs very special!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but has to be done Right. you get it#ANYWAY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL DAY đ©”đ€đ©”đ€đ©”đ€#beloved wedding thoughts#<- thatâs my wedding tag for them lmao#adelle#batb headcanons#batb 2017#thanks bud as always :â3#alex tag#answered
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Know what icks me out Grey's anatomy wise?
There's a line in private practice for Addison says that she's known Amelia said she was 12 and we know Addison and Derek didn't meet until med school and we also know that there's 12 years between merder. That means there's about a 10-year age gap which puts only 2 years older than Meredith. The part that icks me out is the fact that Derek was chasing after Meredith so hard in the early seasons because she's essentially the same age as his kid sister.
The age thing with grey's anatomy is complicated because Meredith is supposed to be older than the rest of her intern class, so she's closer to the 30 than 25 in season one so, like, a 30 yo woman with 40 yo man is not that problematic. Also I'm pretty sure Amelia is supposed to be 5 years older than Meredith in canon (there's the way Amelia is a full-blown neurosurgeon before Meredith is even a general surgeon so she has a head start), so this will make it worse for you but he went after a woman 5 years younger than his baby sister. My thing with merder, even though they have their moments for me, is the way that he's her direct supervisor and he still just gets away with emotionally yoyoing her for a good part of what? 4 seasons? I think if we're gonna go age we need to talk Mark and Lexi and the way Lexi is 24 and Mark is in his 40s since he's the same age as Derek. Honestly, the age thing is not the problem with merder in my opinion, it's the way Derek never stopped thinking he was above Meredith, the way he was too arrogant to let her be all she could be. I think the power imbalance in the relationship makes the age gap worse when you stop to think about it, even Meredith calls him out on it at some point before he dies. But since the actors are really close in age and the way that in 2005 media didn't give a shit, the show ends up putting them as an epic love in a way that if you don't stop to think about it you will actually believe it.
#honestly im 27 if a hot 39 yo neurosurgeon decided he wanted me i might give it a go ngl#but i totally see your point#i have complicated feelings over merder as whole#sometimes im like oh my god they're so cute#because they have their moments#and sometimes im like DIVORCE#i sometimes cant believe they let her marry him after the whole ''you dont get to call me a whore'' speech#and sometimes I'm all they are soulmates and its very complicated#they show pushes the idea that they are meant to be really hard so it clouds our judgment#but yeah 12 years and Meredith is younger than his baby sister#that's definitely a thought i will be ruminating for a while#i know amelia is older but i never clicked for me that that meant derek married someone younger than his baby sister#greys anatomy#i really need a tag for asks#anon đ
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Im often here to see your tags. It makes me cackle! Have a great weekend <3
Top 5 best compliments I've ever gotten. As a life-long tag connoisseur, thank you! đ„čđ«¶đ»
#ive often wondered if i should move more of my thoughts to the posts#cause having basically my entire blog exist in the tags can really get inconvenient sometimes#but at this point its too late lol#ive wallowed here in the sewers so long i can no longer return to walk the streets in the sun#this is my home đ
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brb going insane <3
#BJORK I LOVE YOU#stamping out the regret i sometimes feel for being friends witg someone i genuinely hope to never see again#bc he was the only trans person i knew at the time so of course we were gonna become best friends#and at that point we were both they/them#i learned today that he is now he/him but anyway doesnt rlly matter#its a stream of thoughts that plague me still#i stopped being friends with him like⊠a few months over a year ago#at the end of senior year#and it was Rough but like#i cant truly let myself regret it because he meant so much to me at one point#if i didnt have him in middle school i honestly dont know what wouldâve happened#i have him blocked on tumblr so he will not be seeing this ever đđ#yet again lemme get off my mfing soapbox and just go tf to sleep#rambles#winter stfu
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(Shattered Glass) I read about how Soundwaveâs joints would lock up sometimes because of him being a mix of cybertronian and earth metals and I couldnât stop thinking about it đ I also thought about how Starscream tried to get him to stop working for once in the comics; he really doesnât take care of himself does he đ

(This one I made much longer agoâ) I also think this mightâve happened atleast once


Alas these are also from @knight-says-rollout! I really liked their analysis about Sg Soundwave đ disability in Transformers is really interesting! It also prompted me to think about how (atleast in IDW) Soundwaveâs telepathy strugglesâ at the least to me, and my familiarity with mental disabilities, was reminiscent/like an allegory of a mental disability; ofc he grew to manage and even work with it but at base level he did often talk about how his ability stunted him (especially when he was younger) ; I have a lot more to say about this but thatâs for another time, if anyoneâs interested
#transformers#transformers shattered glass#transformers sg#tf sg#shattered glass#megatron#starscream#soundwave#sg starscream#sg soundwave#sg megatron#transformers art#transformers fanart
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a new reality show concept where a bunch of influencers who disrupt public peace & film without permission are put on an island and then hunted for sport. whoever gets the most kills gets the most ad revenue
#basically what happened was these two guys came into the donut shop today guns blazing with a phone recording#& i thought it might be facetime (because sometimes people do that in the shop when ordering for another person)#& i asked & they said âno weâre recording a food vlogâ#cool. why the fuck didnât you ask permission.#(not only is it common courtesy but the place is technically private property and needs the owners consent)#& i said quietly that i didnât want to be in it and tried to hide myself#& the guy said âdonât worry you wonât beâitâs about me đâ all smug#& i guess Iâll have to take his word for it but Iâm sure they arenât gonna edit me out. so i get no consent i just have to be in it#& i hid in the back & now Iâm crying in my car on break. my other coworkers thought he shouldâve asked but overall it was cool#which. sure a food vlog is cool. still donât want to be in it though#Iâm sure Iâm partially emotional because of like. the devilâs cycle. at least thatâs what my mom says. but god this just pisses me off#itâs so unfair that this is the state of the world#rose.txt
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Observations about how men from each Nakshatra act in dating & relationships đč đ©ââ€ïžâđš đ

Spilling the tea on men through the nakshatras , thank me later ladies đđđ
Disclaimer : Mostly observations of public figures / personal experience/ what Iâve heard from friends. Feel free to add your experience!!
TW: some of these are really honest or 18+
âœâââââââââââââââ„
Ashwini men: very childish no matter how old they are. Can be possessive, kinda psycho with a violent streak.
Bharani men: donât have much notes about them but from what I heard they are extremely possessive// many girls haves told me theyâve been stalked by bharani men. When their love is unrequited they will never let it go. Traditional and takes care of women. Masculine.
Krittika men: goofy and funny personality. Enjoys being babied by their partner.
Rohini men: know how to be the perfect storybook gentlemen. Prince Charming vibes. Very devotional to their partner. Seemingly innocent but are very s3xual individuals. Lowkey perverts. Can be stalkers.
Strives to satisfy their sexual craving within a relationship but will cheat on their partner to do so. Donât put anything past them.
Mrigashira men: very intentional with who they chose to date. Specific criteria that only makes sense to them. The type to have a bunch of exes that all look identical to each other.
Seem like big heauxs but are loverboys on the low. They know how to please women on a fundamental level, theee most romantic and thoughtful gifts ever.
They like dating outside of their race, they tend to like girls who are flawless looking. If a Mrigashira man likes you, just know youâre probably a 10.
They can be misogynistic but are simultaneously obsessed with the opposite sex. They are really cute when theyâre in love. They love playing mind games though.
Tend to be pretty boys, I notice they often have gay allegations on their reputations. They give bisexual vibes even if theyâre straight.
Ardra men: similar to Mrigashira they are lover boys. They are used to dealing with rejection or unrequited love connections. They love hard but have trouble finding the right person for them , causing heartbreak in their love lives.
They are traditional in relationships. They act sad and emotional to get girls to like them. Their sad boy act is authentic sometimes but they are huge fboys too. Emotionally manipulative. Loves doing romantic gestures for their lovers. Very thoughtful gift giver.
Punarvasu men: they are like the ideal husband archetype . Caring, traditional, effectionate, generous. They are naturally feminine and understands what a women needs. However, they are very passive tho and end up being cucks in their relationships.
They attract more assertive women that energetically over power them. Classic Jupiter dominant man trope. Gets played a lot. Often friend zoned a lot too. Has weird fantasies.
âœâââââââââââââââ„
Pushya men: traditional and like taking care of a woman. They love pretty b!tches so if a Pushya guy likes you , youâre top tier. They are heauxs tho.
Ashlesha men: have serious mommy issues that get in the way of their romantic relationships. They are innately feminine and struggle expressing their masculinity in a healthy way. Very draining individuals. Tend to be romantic and generous, they are promiscuous tho.
Magha men: enjoys princess treatment from women, they like to be pursued by women. They are withholding with their energy and resources and usually women who date them leave the relationship with less then they started with. Misogynistic tendencies.
Purva Phalguni men: they tend to have all the qualities that women desire from men in relationships. Romantic , protective, generous , they are good at s3x. They are very devoted and romantic in a monogamous relationship. However they often have scandals in their love life that spoil their relationships and reputation.
They are very sexual and will go to great lengths to satisfy their sexual desires. These men have HIGH body counts. Usually involved in taboo relationships.
Uttara phalguni men: seem innocent and orderly but are s3x freaks. They are womanizers and pretend to treat women well to keep a good reputation but can have a negative side to them in private. Pervert-Chad vibes.
âœâââââââââââââââ„
Hasta men: cheap and feminine. They lie a lot. Havenât heard great things about them.
Chitra men: feminine and tend to be himbos. I donât think I ever met a straight chitra man? If they are straight they like being chased by women. Pretty boys.
Swati men: âPrince Charming takes you on a whirlwind romanceâ they like impressing women and like to be traditional. They have hot and cold vibes tho most women find impossible to deal with. They are eccentric and flighty. Emotionally unstable.
Vishaka men: will fight for the woman they really like. âWarrior/solider who defends the honor of the princess heâs in love withâ. They are thots tho. Have a lot of drama in their love lives.
Anuradha men: falls in love hard. Devotional and romantic, will do grand romantic gestures for their partners. But tend to have addictive personalities and violent tendencies. Can have s3x addiction. Will stalk their love interests. Some have really creepy vibes and weird fantasies. Emotionally turbulent.
Jyeshta men: treat relationships like a game, they like collecting trophies and prizes, so they will date many women at once. They are generous and manly and good at manipulating women. Seemingly enjoy the attention of relationships more than the actual relationship. They like to chase. Lie a lot.
Mula men: traditional and kinda boring. Epitome of âsheâs Barbie and heâs just Kenâ. They are goal oriented, ambitious and logical. They tend to prioritize their career and desire a âtrophy wifeâ to compliment them. Have stoic personalities and are straightforward and blunt.
Purva Ashdha men: traditional gentleman archetype. Very romantic in relationships. Kinda tend be players though. Pretty boys.
Uttara ashdha men: traditional and fatherly. Usually dates Sun nakshatra/ Leo women or women who have solar qualities like them. They like dating the âfemale version of themselvesâ. Doesnât really understand the complexities of women. Typical âheâs just Kenâ vibes.
âœâââââââââââââââ„
Shravana men: not really assertive in relationships. Likes hanging with the bros more than devoting self to a relationship. Not the most committed, but can be, but only if itâs connected to their social status. Usually marries their high school sweetheart. Not much notes for them.
Dhanishta men: complex relationships with women. A âbachelorâ Nakshatra. Some of them hate women or only have a partner bc itâs socially acceptable. Likes the social status that comes with being with a beautiful woman. Doesnât have successful relationships till later in life. Best suited towards âfriends to loversâ relationships. Some are kinda innocent and virginal. Havenât heard great d reports about them.
Shatabhisha men: surprisingly act very fatherly in relationships, enjoys taking care of the partner. Not the most emotional in relationships but tend to handle responsibilities well. Likes hanging w the bros prob more than their girlfriend. This nak in general is like the âghost nakshatraâ they will ghost pretty much anyone , and are hard to connect with. Sneaky & secretive. Tall & handsome.
Purvabhadrapada men: acts like a gentleman. huge heauxs. Although when they find âthe oneâ theyâll move heaven and earth for her. Gomez and Morticia Addams vibes. Nonchalant about most relationships but women tend to go crazy for them. Usually has the hots for one women but will entertain many he doesnât really care about. Makes great fathers.
Uttabhadrapada men: odd personalities in general. Can have trouble connecting with the opposite sex. Donât have much notes about them. Kinda boring.
Revati men: are generous, assertive masculine. If they want you theyâll show it. Tend to like having a mommy figure as a partner. They are heauxs tho and always have a big roster. Very s3xual individuals. Major players. Immature.
#ashwini#Bharani#krittika#Rohini#mrigashira#ardra#punarvasu#pushya#ashlesha#magha#purva phalguni#uttara phalguni#hasta#chitra#swati#vishaka#anuradha#jyeshta#mula#purvashada#uttara ashadha#purva bhadrapada#shatabhisha#Revati#vedic astrology#astrology#astro observations#future spouse#astrology observations#starsandsuch
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hi. i would like to request seungcheol (obviously). all i request is enemies-to-lovers. you may do with this what you wish. i leave it up to you to decide exactly how you will ruin my life đ
tysm for the request my beloved !! he is so enemies to lovers coded i had TEWWW many thoughts (and started three separate wips oops), but here we are. i hope u enjoy this !! can't wait to get the collab fics out of the way so i can torture u further with baseball dk. i picked dodgers hat!cheol just for u. âĄ
â we need to talk
pairing: choi seungcheol x f. reader summary: sometimes the only way to win the game is to not play, but sometimes it's not a game at allâsometimes it's four years of emotional build-up with nowhere left to hide. genre: enemies (kinda) w benefits to lovers; frat/university au; smut, angst?, fluff rating: explicit. minors do not interact with this or any of my work. warnings: frat boys. gendered language and insults. swearing. mentions of drugs & drug use (vernon is literally a drug dealer đ€·đ»ââïž) as well as alcohol. possessive, jealous seungcheol who is extremely down bad and kind of an asshole and would be toxic af irl but is fine in fanfiction probably. this is maybe more "people who used to fuck and started disliking each other along the way bc they can't figure out their feelings" to lovers than enemies. there are very slight, very meaningless mingyu x reader undertones here. jeonghan is a bastard. feelings you think are unrequited but alas! this got softer than i intended oops. smut warnings: seungcheol truly is a man driven to the brink of madness bc of pussy idk what to say. kissing. hair pulling. mentions of masturbation. the dynamics shift in this one a lot, but to be overly cautious i will say dom!cheol and slightly dom!reader undertones that are not implicitly stated or defined. seungcheol uses the term "whore" once, sorry. oral sex (f. receiving). pussy slapping. unprotected sex. if i missed any pls lmk. wordcount: 8k. no i do not know what a drabble is, leave me alone. author's note: title from the song of the same name by waterparks but this was actually brought to you by "i'll never stop" by nsync bc it's their best song and fit the vibes perfectly. anyway, i still do not love writing smut but i am insane over this man so whatever, we persevere. everyone go shower mj in lots of love bc she's the best and deserves it. also everyone say thank u @the-boy-meets-evil for looking over this for me. i did not look at this again after she beta'd it so any mistakes are of my own stupidity. <3
Seungcheol is incensed.
What in the fuck are you thinking, showing up here? Ignoring him, walking by him with nothing more than a brush to the elbow and that sultry, electric gaze? A pair of painted-on jeans and a sheer top?
Who the fuck had invited you?
He looks around the room, gaze heavy under his furrowed brow. Bass thumps in his ears, the music so loud he can feel it in his chest. Still, his feet stay planted on the floor, already sticky with spilled alcohol and god knows what else. He needs to find Vernonâjust needs something to get through this very unexpected (and very unpleasant) surprise, take the edge off.
But he canât see through the sea of people. Theyâre everywhere, occupying every inch of available space in the house, but he just needs a glimpse of that mop of cornflower blue hair. If he could justâ
Instead, he sees a streak of white-blond in his peripheral vision. âSoonyoung!â he calls, grabbing the man by the arm. âHey, have you seen Vernon?â
Soonyoung stares up at him with glassy, bloodshot eyes, his breath already stinking of alcohol as he shrugs and says, âDunno, hyung. Think heâs upstairs.â
Fingers still wrapped around his bicep, Seungcheol heaves a sigh. âGo find Jeonghan. Heâs on babysitting duty and youâre already fucked.â
âIâm fine,â Soonyoung argues, slurred words giving him away immediately.
Seungcheol scoffs. âBro, you can barely stand and you reek of shitty vodka. Go drink some water.â
As he sends Soonyoung away, he can feel eyes boring into him, tension wound tight in the center of his back that refuses to dissipate no matter how many times he rolls his shoulders. He turns slowly, already knowing exactly what heâll find, but knowing does little to stop the hitch of breath as he takes you in.
And he hates it. Fuck, he hates the effect you have on him more than anything.
Hates that heâs still pining after you. Hates that all you have to do is look at him and heâs putty in your hands. Hates that youâre the first person he looks for in a room, the last person on his mind before he falls asleep. Hates you, hates that all of this is unreciprocated, because if Choi Seungcheol is anything, itâs proud. Heâs rich, heâs good-looking, heâs pre-law, and the president of this fraternity, for fuckâs sakeâhe should not be hung up on a girl.
But heâd been doomed from the beginning. Ever since youâd been assigned to him as a challenge to overcome, an impossible task to conquer, heâd been helplessly, pathetically smitten with you.
And fuck if you didnât know it, too.
So, itâs a game now. A lifetimeâs worth of pining for Seungcheol all because his frat was misogynistic and refused to keep up with the times. Theyâd nodded in your direction and laughed at the confusion on his face, the knot between his brows. Seungcheol couldnât figure out why his initiation was to fuck a girl, one his brothers wouldnât even address by name, but when heâd approached you at a party and youâd immediately told him to go fuck himself, heâd figured it out pretty quick.
Call it determination, call it a stubborn streak that refused to quit, but the two of you soon came to a reluctant agreement: you would let Seungcheol lie to his frat, figuring he was attractive enough that people thinking youâd slept together wouldnât be complete social suicide, and heâd owe you a favor youâd keep in your back pocket for as long as it took to cash in.
Which hadnât taken long. The stress of finals that first year had gotten to all of you, and it wasnât long before you were at his door looking for his drug-dealing roommate and a quick fuck.
That was the second time Seungcheol had been doomed to hopeless pining, because once he had you, he knew itâd be impossible to let you go.
Short of outright saying the words, heâd all but told you as much during some alcohol-induced brain shortage junior year. And, in turn, youâd all but laughed in his face.
Right.
Of course.
That was to be expected.
So, youâd continued your⊠well, whatever this is: quick fucks when both of you were bored or lonely or horny, usually under the influence of something illegal; a mutually tense but beneficial relationship for each of you, because you had been Seungcheolâs initiation and the initiation itself awarded him connections and opportunities. You got a back-up plan. A safe body and warm bed to retreat to when the need aroseâone who clearly wanted it to be something more, but was, all things considered, fine with the current arrangement. Didnât pressure you.
But, as was also to be expected, it was never going to be that simple when feelings got involved. When he started feeling slighted. When he wanted you so bad he ached with it sometimes and it was beneath you to care. Which is why he really, really needs to find Vernon. If heâs going to endure an entire party with you, heâs not going to do it sober.
He takes the steps two at a time, feet stumbling onto the landing as soon as he reaches it. Vernonâs door is the third on the left, and he can hear a separate, distinct bass line from the one booming downstairs that hums louder the closer he gets.
And Vernon knows. Of course he does, because heâs yanking his door open before Seungcheol has even raised a hand to knock, the stench of weed seeping out into the hallway, and all he needs is a quick look at Seungcheol before he pulls the door open wider and says, âLadies and gentlemen, the President of the United States of America,â as if heâs speaking into a microphone. When Seungcheol doesnât react, he awkwardly tacks on, âHi, hyung. Iâm assuming sheâs here.â
Seungcheol nods, dumbly, and stands as awkwardly in the center of the room as someone whoâs about to ask their roommate for drugs tends to be. âYeah.â Shoves his hands in the pockets of his overpriced jeans so Vernon canât see the sheen of sweat.
âYou looking for somethinâ specific?â he asks, rifling through the top drawer of a tall dresser. âLike, is this an Iâm about to fuck her the rest of the night visit or an I need something to help me forget she doesnât actually like me visit?â
The words come like a reflex. âFuck you,â he seethes. Vernonâs not wrong, per se, but he didnât have to go and just⊠say it like that.
Vernon just shrugs, one side of his worn-out collar slipping down his shoulder as he does so, and Seungcheol canât tell if heâs actually dressed for the party or not. âGonna guess itâs the second one, then.â
Seungcheol scoffs. âWell, itâs not,â he insists, knowing damn well he should let it go, that heâs just digging himself a bigger hole, but the truth sits in the pit of his stomach like lead.
And, really, he knows he just needs to accept it. That little strand of hope hasnât brought him anything but more painâallowed him to delude himself into thinking it could be something more, something tangibleâand itâs time to let it go.
You donât want more.
You donât want the label and the relationship.
You donât want him.
He knows this, but it still tastes sour in his mouth. Still tastes like the chill of autumn when youâd first showed up at his door all that time ago. Tastes like all the blunts youâve shared and the liquor from all the parties youâd snuck away in the middle of. Tastes like the sharp notes of your perfume, the ones thatâd coat his tongue when heâd kiss down your neckâthe same notes that stain his bedsheets.
Mostly, itâs the pitying look Vernonâs giving him that hurts the most. Heâs above pity. Doesnât need it, especially not from Vernon Chwe, but it hurts all the same to be on the receiving end of it.
âGive me whatever youâve got.â
Vernonâs face quickly morphs into surprised concern. âUh, Iâm not sure thatâs a good idea. I mean, Iâve got some pretty heavy shit here.â
Heat flares in his belly. The pity was bad enoughânow he wants to be patronizing? âThen give me whatever the fuck you think I need,â he snaps. âI donât care. I donât have time for this shit.â
âWell, you definitely need to chill,â Vernon mumbles. âYou want some dabs?â
âNo. SomethingâŠâ The word feels thick in his mouth. Stronger implies that Seungcheol does heavy drugs, and thatâs not true. âElse,â he finally finishes.
Vernon sighs as he continues rifling through the drawer. âYour dad would fucking kill me if I gave you my real heavy shit, soâŠâ He pauses, eyebrows raising in triumph as he finds what he was looking for: a small baggie filled halfway with some nondescript powder. âYou want a bump?â
Maybe he should be ashamed at how quickly he agrees, at the urgency and greed with which he grabs the baggie from Vernonâs fingers, but he just needs something. Needs the distraction, the brain fog. He shoves it in his back pocket next to his wallet. âHow much do I owe you?â
Vernon wrinkles his nose. âNah. Consider that one a freebie. No offense, but youâre a real piece of shit when youâre like this.â
The implication only pisses him off more. Seungcheol is loadedâhe can afford to pay his drug dealer, thank you very muchâbut heâs not like anything. âIâm sorry?â
True to his nature, Vernon barely shrugs. âIâll put it on your tab, hyung,â he says in a way that implies heâs not at all going to do that and is only saying so to get the fraternity president off his back.
Jeonghan (23:12) Better come get your girl. Kim Mingyuâs dick looks like itâs halfway up her ass by now. Jeonghan (23:12) Uh oh! I think I just saw a testicle
Seungcheol stares down at his phone, hands trembling in anger. Of course itâs Mingyu. That pathetic loser has been taking up residence on the subs bench ever since youâd made out with him months ago in an admittedly successful attempt at payback. Seungcheol had hooked up with some downgrade at a party one time and youâd gone and made out with his friend. It was hardly a fair trade.
Seungcheol (23:14) Good for Mingyu, he can deal with her then Seungcheol (23:14) Iâm busy Jeonghan (23:14) Doing what? Jerking off in the upstairs bathroom again? Jeonghan (23:15) Do you know what size condom he wears btw? Looks like I might need to fetch him one if you donât want to take care of another manâs baby Jeonghan (23:16) Although, to be fair, you might want to sit this one out. He has way better bone structure than you. Might be a blessing in disguise Seungcheol (23:16) Fuck you Jeonghan (23:16) Better be nice to me, Choi Seungcheolie~ that might be the only fuck you get tonight
Seungcheol needs better friends. He needs a lot of things, really, but number one on his to-do list is to never let Jeonghan be on babysitting duty ever again. Somehow heâd forgotten how obnoxious Yoon Jeonghan is when he isnât stoned and half-asleep on a couch somewhere.
For now, he just stomps down the hallway; locks himself in his room and doesnât bother to turn on the light. Heâs not going to be here long. Just enough time to do this line, change his t-shirt, and come up with a game plan, because heâs not going to let Mingyu even entertain the thought of being able to have you but he also canât appear desperate. Not just to you, but to everyone else. Choi Seungcheol is not clingy, especially not over a girl.
Especially especially over a girl who doesnât even want him like that.
But the longer he sits in the dark, the more trouble he has finding his resolve. Canât bring himself to dig that baggie out of his pocket. Canât drag his t-shirt over his head. Canât bring himself to think about anything other than Mingyuâs hands all over you, and fuck, does that image drive him insane.
Does he touch you like Seungcheol does?
Does he coax those same jagged whimpers from your mouth like Seungcheol does?
Does his semi-hard cock feel as good pressed against you?
God, heâs so fucked. Utterly and completely fucked. And he wonders if this would be as bad if heâd just kept his mouth shut, took that secret to his grave instead of fooling himself into thinking it could be more. If it wouldnât have devolved into⊠this. Youâd always told him not to get attached, that sex was just sex and there was no need to ruin a good thing. But Seungcheol is a selfish man, always has been, and what if? is a dangerous question.
Jeonghan (23:36) Wow, youâre a fucking pussy. Stop hiding in your room like a little bitch. Seungcheol (23:36) Fuck off
He canât go down there. Not because heâs a coward, but because heâs barely tethered to his sanity as it is. Something about you brings him out of his mind, makes him toss whatever good judgment he has left to the wind. Seungcheol is far too impulsive when it comes to you, reckless in ways that have all twenty years of his social training weeping in a corner; have alarm bells ringing in his brain. So, no, he canât go downstairs right now because he knows heâll do something stupid. Stick not only his foot but his entire lower body in it. He shouldâve listened, yet here he is, dick pulled halfway out of his jeans because the thought of you alone gets him hard but his pride wonât let him jerk off to the image of anyone touching you thatâs not him.
Forget whatever Jeonghan had called him. Heâs a fucking fool. A moonstruck, delusional fool whoâd tricked himself into thinking he could swim when he can barely tread water.
You (23:41) Something wrong?
Oh, here we fucking go, he thinks. Because this is Seungcheolâs gameâone heâd perfected years ago, the one where heâs coy and chilly, never too eager, never committed. Just a little bit of a tease. Barely enough to keep them on the hook, a little needy; still enough to keep them coming back. But youâd taken one look at him all those years ago and had him pegged immediately. Figured out his game and learned the rules, used them against him. Now you watch him flounder with a smile on your face.
Seungcheol (23:42) Never knew you were so needy baby. First you show up uninvited and now youre missing me?
But just because thereâs now a player two doesnât mean heâs doomed to lose. He knows how you look when youâre on your knees for him. Knows how you sound when youâre begging to cum and stuttering out his name like youâre singing hymns. Knows how you look with your eyes rolled back after heâs fucked you dumb. Kim Mingyu doesnât know shit.
Seungcheol knows heâs the only one fortunate enough to experience you like this.
And god does it kill him.
You (23:44) Donât act stupid
A pleased exhale of laughter, an equally-smug smirk. Yeah, this is still Seungcheolâs game, the crown still sitting atop his head. You can let Mingyu grind his dick against you all you want, but Seungcheol is still the one youâre seeking out, pouting at the fact he hasnât come to find you yet.
You (23:44) Mingyu invited me
Oh, youâre goodâknow just which buttons to press and how much pressure to use. Whatever smug expression Seungcheol had been wearing slides off his face immediately, tongue pressing into his cheek.
Seungcheol (23:46) And yet youre looking for me? You (23:47) Donât have to look for you to know youâre upstairs sulking in your room because Jeonghan tattled on me like a fucking five year old Seungcheol (23:49) Maybe you should come up here then Seungcheol (23:49) Away from prying eyes
You donât reply immediately. Itâs just long enough for Seungcheolâs brain to conjure up something indecentâthe way youâll straddle him, the way his cock will feel pressed against the apex of your thighs; the goosebumps thatâll raise on his arms when you work your tongue along his neck, that spot near his collarbone you know he likes. His cock throbs against the confines of his jeans when he thinks about the devastated look on Mingyuâs face when you make up some excuse to get away from him, to traipse up the stairs and fall into Seungcheolâs bed, when he realizes heâs not going to have you.
You (23:56) Itâd be pretty rude to leave my date, donât you think? You (23:57) If you want me so bad, come down here and get me yourself
Seungcheol doesnât play games; doesnât compete because he has no competition. Heâs always been given whatever he wants on a silver platter, no questions asked, so heâs wholly unprepared for this turn of events. What he knows he should do (respond to your text and tell you to fuck off, that you know where he is should you stop being a brat and change your mind) is not what he does (tucks his dick back in his jeans, finally throws on a clean t-shirt, and takes his time descending the stairs so he doesnât look too eager), because logical thought gets tossed out the window entirely wherever youâre concerned.
âAh, if it isnât our resident pissbaby making his grand re-entrance.â
Seungcheol clenches his jaw for the nth time and glares. âFuck off, Jeonghan.â
The man in question laughsâthe annoying raspy one that grates on Seungcheolâs nervesâand hands over a cup of something brown and pungent. âWell, judging from your attitude, and the fact youâre barely hiding that boner youâve got, you clearly didnât spend your time away jerking off. What finally got you down here, the promise of cheap whiskey I nicked off some freshman or the fact that your girlfriendâs about two seconds from getting a public indecency charge courtesy of Kim Mingyu?â
Well. Jeonghan may be an asshole but heâs not wrong. Even through the crowd of people and the haze of whateverâs in his cup and a contact high, Seungcheol spots you immediately. Your back is pressed against Mingyuâs chest, his fingers gripping tight at your waist as you roll your hips in time with his. Whatever manufactured filth heâs whispering to you draws a smile, causes you to reach up and tug sharply at his hair. Fuck, Seungcheol can almost hear Mingyuâs moan from across the room, and his blood quickly heats to a rapid boil.
Another chuckle from the demon beside him. âStop fucking laughing,â Seungcheol snaps, still unable to take his eyes off of you. âFuck this. Iâm going back upstairs. Make sure everyoneâs out of here by three. Iâm not paying for another noise citation.â
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. âIâm absolutely not going to do that.â He shoves a bottle of something in Seungcheolâs hand. âTake this and think of me when youâre crying yourself to sleep because Mingyu stole guaranteed pussy right out of your hands.â
âWhy do you do this?â Seungcheol asks, shoving at Jeonghanâs shoulder roughly. âYou never know when to fucking quit.â
Another streak of white-blond. âHey, no fighting!â Soonyoung slurs, trying his best to push Seungcheol to the other side of the kitchen with his useless, limp arms.
This attracts the attention of Joshua, who struts into the room looking straight out of Fashion Week, much like he always does. He hasnât even broken a sweat. âAw, are Mom and Dad fighting again?â he asks, his lips tugged into a smirk. He ignores Seungcheolâs scowl as he fixes himself a drink. âYou know Mingyu only does it to get a reaction out of you,â Joshua adds, quieter this time, as if heâs telling Seungcheol a secret only meant for the two of them to share.
âWhatâs her excuse, then?â Seungcheol fires back, because even if he doesnât like it, Joshuaâs right. This is exactly the kind of behavior heâd expect from resident campus whore Kim Mingyu, but he never expected you to go along with it.
Joshua cocks an eyebrow. âShe doesnât need an excuse, Cheol. Sheâs not your girl.â
Even though itâs a truth he already knows, it somehow hurts worse being spoken in plaintext, a hushed conversation in a crowded kitchen. Being let down gently. Seungcheol knows he needs to make a decision. He needs to let you go and start moving on with his life; canât be having these quasi-meltdowns during frat parties anymore. Canât be possessive and spiteful. You donât want him. Everyone knows you donât want him, so thatâs all there is to it. Maybe youâll want Mingyu and he can finally wash his hands of this forever, scrape the jealousy off his tongue.
He steels himself. Rolls his shoulders back, cracks his neck. Navigates the crowd in the living room until he reaches you and your so-called date. Grabs you by the elbowâgentle enough that it doesnât hurt but firm enough to send a messageâand says the two of you need to talk. Upstairs. Now. Mingyu just smiles like he knew this was coming and presses a pointless, wasted kiss just below your ear. Seungcheol tells him to fuck off, too, and Mingyu grins wider, tongue darting out to wet his lips.
As he guides you to his room, he doesnât think about the way your hand fits in his. Doesnât think about how this is going to be the last time he has you. Doesnât think about whoâll have you after. Doesnât bother to wonder if youâve finally changed your mind like he had all those other times heâd walked this same familiar path with you in tow. Because itâs the last time. Whatever happens once itâs over is out of his control.
Perhaps thatâs what itâd always been about. Seungcheol has always been spoiled and selfish and so terribly, terribly desperate to prove heâs more than his family name and family money. So, yeah, heâd wanted the control; wanted what was never his for the taking. Youâd always been the oppositeâhis perfect little counterpart. Always so pliant and careless and free: everything Seungcheol tried so hard to be but couldnât, and thatâs where the switch flipped.
Someone like you isnât meant to be controlled.
What he used to want so badly now tastes rancid in his mouth.
The door locks behind you. Seungcheol doesnât meet your eye as he says, âYou got what you wanted. Are you done being a fucking brat?â Itâs not a tone he usually takes. Usually heâs dirty, a little possessive, willing to let you set the pace. He doesnât miss the way your breath hitches. âI asked you a question.â
âSeungcheolââ
He clicks his tongue, stalks closer until youâre nearly in his grasp. Your eyes close instinctively as if youâre expecting his mouth on yours. Instead, he threads his long fingers in your hair and pulls. âWhatâs so hard about answering a simple yes or no question? Did you really want Mingyuâs dick so bad youâve gone dumb all of a sudden?â
You gasp. âNo.â
âNo what?â Seungcheol chides. âNo, youâre not done being a brat? Or no, you werenât just downstairs acting desperate and pathetic for mediocre cock?â He runs his thumb across the seam of your lips, follows their movements as you speak.
âI wasnâtââ
A low, mocking chuckle. âYou were, baby.â Sounds condescending; speaks to you like youâre a stupid child. Heâs so close to you now. Can smell the tang of your skin, the sticky notes of your perfume. Feels your breath fan against his own sweat-slick skin. Still avoids your gaze, because as domineering as he appears, he knows he can unravel just as quickly. âTake your clothes off. This is the last time Iâm gonna fuck you and Iâm not going to ask twice.â
Now you truly look caught off-guard. âWhat?â Still he ignores you, expensive silver rings clinking into a dish on his dresser one by one, expensive watch following. âWhat do you mean the last time?â
Deft fingers play at the buttons on his shirt. Not silk, but just as expensive. âShit. Youâre really testing my patience, you know.â Youâre still standing at the edge of his bed, staring dumbly as if heâs just going to start spilling all his secrets, give you some kind of explanation. âI believe I told you to strip.â
Unlike Seungcheol, your fingers tremble as they work at buttons and zippers and hemlines, push down denim and remove heels. Itâs clear youâre trying to work out what heâs playing atâif this is some punishment for fucking around with Mingyu or if he really means itâbut youâre not going to risk asking. Things between the two of you are already tense as it is. Seungcheol has never been wound this tight, never been so ready to snap.
âThatâs it,â he praises once youâre left in nothing but a skimpy underwear set you know he likes. âLook at you. Fucking gorgeous. I bet thatâs why you think you can get away with embarrassing me, huh?â He grabs your chin, forces you to meet his gaze for the first time since heâd dragged you up here. âGet on your knees. Iâm getting tired of repeating myself.â
Itâs not an unfamiliar sightâas it is, you usually leave Seungcheolâs room with bruised knees on a good nightâbut it settles differently in his gut this time. Because heâd dared a glance at you once and knows he canât do it again, so he watches the top of your head as you fumble with his belt buckle and looks away whenever he thinks you might risk a glance upwards. Finds some point on the wall to focus on. Hisses through his teeth when you pull his cock from his briefs, your hands cold against his flushed skin.
All he wants to do is kiss you. Draw this out. Give you a memorable last time, maybe mark you up a little. He really wants to savor the feeling of your tongue on his cock, but all he can focus on is the fact that heâll never be enveloped in that wet heat again. Heâs never going to feel your mouth working him over, feel you humming around his length because he knows you love the weight of it, you love wrenching away that little bit of control, turning him into a mess.
But heâs not going to dwell. Heâs going to thumb at the hinge of your jaw, force it open just wide enough for his cock to fit inside. Then heâs going to fist your hair into a makeshift ponytail, grip it tight, use it to guide your mouth until thereâs only an inch of space between you. Heâs going to stare down at you, silently revel in how fucked out you look already even though he hasnât touched you. Heâs going to watch the way your fingers dig into your thighs because they canât touch him. Then heâs going to sayâ
âBeg me. Beg me to let you suck my cock.â
Thereâs a flicker of hesitation. Seungcheol doesnât talk to you like this. This is not the kind of dynamic the two of you have, and Seungcheol finds himself wondering if things would be different if it was. If heâd never started going so easy on you. Would you want him then? Or would you have left a long time ago?
Heâs half-expecting you to do that now. You look ready to bolt, to pull your clothes back on and tell him to go fuck himself on the way out. Probably go straight back to Mingyu, let him fuck you hard but routine, the way Seungcheol usually does, the way he knows you like. He expects you to leave, and this is the last time, anyway, so he figures he has nothing left to lose.
âIâm going soft,â he snaps, the admonishment harsh on his tongue. When you look up at him, his jaw is clenched, eyes narrow. âYou have one fucking job and you canât even do that properly? Whoâs going to want a dumb little whore that canât follow simple instructions?â
He watches your eyes squeeze shut involuntarily. Wonders if heâs gone too far before deciding he doesnât care if he has. Itâs the last time, anyway, so itâs not like it matters. Watches the indents in your thighs grow deeper. Watches you inhale and try to steady your breathing.
Watches your eyes snap open, any trace of hesitation long gone. âDid you make that other girl beg for you?â
Seungcheol snorts, amusement showing all over his face. âIs that what this is about? Youâre still mad I hooked up with some other girl so you act like this?â He clicks his tongue at you, fists his cock, slicking it up. âAre you jealous?â
âNo,â you answer simply, âIâm just trying to figure out why you think you can speak to me however the fuck you want.â
Seungcheolâs hand stutters along his length before it stills, your words sharp and immediate against his skin. He shouldâve known. Shouldnât have thought something like this would work on you, that youâd like it, and heâs halfway to soft and throwing his hands up and tucking his dick back into his briefs when you say, âAnswer the question.â
âWhat?â
You tsk. Move your hands from your thighs to his, nails pressing just deep enough to leave crescent moons behind that match your own. Something for someone else to see. âDid you make her beg for you?â
Seungcheolâs brain power decreases the higher your palms go, when your thumbs press into the dimples of his hips. Can barely choke out a hissed yes, yeah, fu-fuck when your hand covers his, fingers wrapping tightly around his own as you guide it back and forth, up and down the length of his cock. âWhat did you make her beg for, Cheol?â
âToâto to-touch me.â
You hum. Tighten your grip on Seungcheolâs hand and laugh as his hips roll involuntarily, seeking the friction. âTouch you how? Like this?â
âYeahâfuck, yes, like this.â
âDid she? Did she listen to you like a good girl?â Your hand leaves Seungcheolâs only to collect the precum at his tip. âDonât get all shy now, Cheolie.â You suck your thumb into your mouth and he whines. âWas she a good girl for you?â
You sit back on your haunches. Watch him jerk himself off. âYeah,â he finally says, word cracking in the middle. âBoring, though. Not likeânot like you.â
âNo one is like me,â you admonish. âI couldâve told you that for free, before you went off and fucked someone else.â
âNot an idiot,â Seungcheol replies, the pace of his hand quickening. Heâs playing a dangerous game; approaching the cliff edge at a dangerous pace. âNo-nothing comes for free with you.â
All you do is smile, lopsided and smug. âMm, thatâs true. Guess your little dom moment earlier can just be chalked up to momentary stupidity, hm?â Seungcheol wants to nod, wants apologies to tumble from his lips until you shut him up, but his palm is so slick against his dick, fist tight enough to white out his vision. âDid you make her beg to suck your cock?â
Truth be told, Seungcheol canât remember much of anything right now. Heâs perilously close to coming, right at that precipice, and each filthy word that slips from your mouth just pushes him further to the edge. He remembers Chan inviting him to a party. He remembers a few drinks, a few hits from a blunt, compliments of Vernon; he remembers a girl making eyes at him from across the roomâeyes that had looked a lot like yours in the haze of his crossfade. He remembers a locked bathroom and the sound of his voice as he told that girl how to touch him so it felt like you. He remembers her doing whatever he told her to, remembers how eager and submissive she was, how she didnât mouth off to him the way you always doâ
Remembers how unsatisfying itâd been when he came.
Youâve ruined him.
Not a revelation. Not even close to one. Seungcheol has known this for a long time, but that doesnât mean annoyance doesnât flare in his belly at the reminder. You donât want him. Being so hung up on you isnât doing him any favors, just means heâll have a longer drop when this is all over. God, what the fuck is he doing?
He wants you so badly heâs aflame with it. He wants you so badly he can barely look at you anymore. He wants you so badly it consumes him, drives him insane, has him all fucked up and seething. He wants you, he wants you, heâ
Loves.
Reality washes over him like a cold wave. Knocks him backwards, drowning, desperately trying to remember how to breathe. In, out; in, outâand none of it changes a goddamn thing.
Four years of this. Four years of touches exchanged in the dark, behind locked doors. Four years of yearning and trying and failing. Four years of everything getting lost in translation, because itâs hitting him now, but shouldnât he have felt it before? Shouldnât all those âdrive me fuckinâ crazy, canât fucking stand youâs he spoke into the crook of your neck rang hollow?
âCheolââ you say, because you asked him something, tried to play along with this whole stupid charade, and he knows heâs frozen, just standing there, hand still wrapped around his cock, and he needs to say something, he needs to fix thisâ
âIâm a liar,â is what he comes up with. Youâre still staring up at him, brows furrowed, pinched in the middle. Move, he wills himself, but nothing happens. âIâm a liar,â he says again, because if he says it enough youâll believe it. âIâm sorry. Iâmââ
âWhat are you talking about?â
He swallows. Iâm in love with you, he wants to say. Feels the weight of the words on his tongue, heavy and pressing, and he thinks you should know. Even if you donât feel the same, he thinks you deserve to know, but the way youâre looking at himâ
He canât bring himself to say it.
But he canââCan I show you instead?â
Slowly, you nod. Seungcheol nods, too, still feeling off-kilter as he cradles your face in his hands, thumbs in the contours of your cheeks. Moves them down your neck, your shoulders, down the length of your arms. You meet him halfway, twining your fingers together, and he helps you stand, careful and considerate. At full height, he places a hand in the small of your back to tug you closer, kisses you like itâs the end of the world. Whines into your mouth at your familiar taste, and if he lets himself be delusional enough, he can pretend thereâs form and substance to those sounds, that their edges are squared-off to form the words he wants to say.
Because it really might be the end of the world. Seungcheol has never known how to play the cards heâs been dealt when it comes to you. Always gets it wrong. Feints one way when heâs meant to go the other, takes the field with two left feet, always playing catch-up. Maybe the mistake was treating it like a game. Maybe the mistake was strategizing, only playing to win, because he lays you gently on his bed, fits his body in the space you create for him between your legs, and realizes he already won a long time ago.
He won the first time your eyes met. He won the first time heâd kissed you, more nerves and teeth than anything else. He won the first time you tucked yourself against his side and stared at his bedroom ceiling, half-smoked joint between your fingers, and made fun of the stupid flag heâd hung up. He won every time you took all the bullshit he threw at you and dished it right back. He won every time he had the privilege of tracing mindless shapes into your soft skin.
Every second of your time you chose to give himâall victories.
He presses in further. Groans when your hands move to his shoulders and grip tight; when your nails dig into the skin of his back. âIâve been so stupid,â he says, punctuating his words with a nip at your ear. Smirks out of the corner of his mouth at your shuddering breath. âHavenât I?â
âYeah,â you answer, rolling your hips upward. He grabs at you desperately, tries to keep you still; hisses when you swat his hands away and redouble your efforts. âYouâve been a fucking asshole for aâfor a while.â
You canât see the way he pouts. Wonders, too, if that would work on you, if itâd earn him one of those rare moments of tenderness. âWell Iâm trying toâshit, babyâtrying to make it up to you, but you seem pretty determined to make me bust right now.â
He can see the way you roll your eyes. See the way the corners crinkle after as you laugh softly, breathlessly, still trying to chase a high Seungcheol refuses to provide. âYou deserve it. You tried to dom me, you dickhead.â
Embarrassment sits obvious on his ruddy cheeks. He hides his face in the crook of your neck so you donât see it, donât have something to poke at him with later, but youâre having none of it. You thread your fingers through his hair and tug gently, forceful enough to have him pliable, and there it is: there are stars in your eyes as you stare up at him, tender and soft just like he hoped youâd look, and he misses the feeling of your nails on your scalp until youâre tugging at the delicate chain around his neck and pulling him closer. âJust kiss me and weâll call it even.â
This is how it feels to get struck by lightning, he thinks. Every part of him is on fire, and heâs content to burn as his lips find yours. He sighs happily into your mouth, hikes your thigh higher around his middle, presses in to lay claim to what little space is left between you. Seungcheol is so close he can feel the rapid pace of your heartbeat, because this is not the way you usually kiss. What used to be dirty and quick, a means to an end, now has intent, purpose. Heâs kissing you like he wants to steal the air from your lungs to replace it with something better.
Trails those same kisses down the length of your body. Open-mouthed at your neck, your collarbones, the space between your breasts. Teasing and slow in the space between each rib, just to watch the way your skin pebbles. Hungry and insistent at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, because if heâs feeling this unhinged, he wants you right there with him. Canât bear the thought of still being in this alone. Not anymore.
âLegs over my shoulders.â You listen immediately, and Seungcheol mutters a quiet fuck at the sight before him. âGod, youâre so wet.â
âNo shitââ
He swats at your clit, delighting in the way your body jolts. âHush. The only thing I wanna hear out of your smart mouth from now on is my fucking name.â And then heâs diving in.
He eats you out like a man starved; like he could do this every day for the rest of his life and he still wouldnât be satisfied. Canât help but rut against the mattress at the way you taste, the way your thighs tighten around his head, the sting as you pull at his hair. Places both hands beneath your ass to lift and drag you closer to his waiting mouthâlicks at you wet and feverish, all of this seemingly more for him than it is for you, and youâll get tired of it soon, just like you always do. Youâll tell himâ
âDo it right, Cheol, pleaseââ
And heâll pull away and tsk, swat at you again. His responding laugh will be cocky and derisive when your body trembles again, frantic with the need for more. âWhat did I say, baby? Do you not trust me to make you come?â You cock an eyebrow, torn between throwing some sarcastic remark at him and following the rules long enough to get what you want. His voice grows serious as he presses a soft kiss to your core. âI will always take care of you.â
The rest is muscle memory.
The rest has a chorus of Cheol, Cheol, Seungcheol spilling from your lips as he suctions his own around your clit. The rest has you grinding your pussy against his face. The rest has him groaning at the way heâs so wholly consumed by you: the taste of you on his tongue, face soaked, two fingers pressed deep into your cunt. The rest has him saying thatâs it, baby, come on my face, I know you can and feeling delirious when he finally pushes you over the edge; when your walls clench around his fingers, breathing fractured, when you grab at him until youâre eye-level and youâre licking into his mouth to taste yourself.
Tastes a lot like I love you.
âWant you to ride me,â he says, gaze half-lidded and pleading. You whine as he moves his thumb back to your clit, tracing slow, slow, slow circles, oversensitive. âWill you do that for me?â
The party seems so far away. Grows even further away when you nod and straddle his lap. Seungcheol sits up, tells you to wrap your legs around him. Canât stand not touching you; needs every inch of his skin to be covered by you like a bruiseâsomething deep thatâll last for days, weeks, months. The mottled colors will change, but itâll still be there.
âNeed you, Cheol,â you whisper, kissing his eyelids. He hadnât realized heâd closed his eyes.
âYou have me,â he answers, but it sounds foreign to his earsâsounds wretched, like the words have been punched out of him. It sounds like forfeit. âAlways have.â
You pull back. Study his face. Run over his plush bottom lip with your thumb. It feels like an eternity of silence before you speak. âNo, I havenât,â you insist, tone insistent but delicate, like youâre trying to convince him of it, too. âNot like this.â
I love you.
You lift your hips just enough to sink down on his cock. Seungcheolâs moan is loud and unabashed, not afraid to let anyone hear the way you make him feel. All he can think is familiar: he knows your blinding white heat; has made countless homes in your tight grip he still holds the keys to; has done this so many goddamn times itâs second nature.
He was an absolute fool to think he could ever walk away.
You roll your hips, taking him deeper like youâve got something to prove, body moving on its own sinuous accord. Seungcheol loves you like this, when you know exactly what you want and arenât afraid to take it. When you press sloppy kisses to his neck, the column of his throat. When he grabs at your hips, tries to move you faster along the length of his cock, and you swat his hands away. When your rhythmic up-and-down turns into a slow grind that has you gasping and breathless, pussy spasming around him.
âGoddamn, I love this pussy,â he chokes out, fingers gripping tightly at the sheets since he canât touch you. Heâs mindless with pleasure, feels himself start babbling nonsense he canât make sense of, and itâs overwhelming, having you like this. Isnât sure how heâs survived this long, but maybe you were right.
Maybe it was never like this before.
Usually heâd take you from behind, quick and dirty, hands digging into the meat of your ass, palm cracking down on it every now and then, imparting white heat of his own. Usually heâd have you beneath him, knees pressed to your chest, all condescension as you told him, eyes rolled back, that he was too deep, that you couldnât take it, and heâd rub at your clit and tell you you could as he dragged another orgasm out of you. Usually heâd be so frenzied and worked up heâd take you against the door, sweats pushed to mid-thigh, forearms straining as they held you up.
So, yeahâthis is different. This is a patient, sensual dance to the finish line. This is Seungcheol in his rawest form: a live wire, vulnerable, anxious. This is the unknown, because something has to come after but he doesnât know what it is.
This is Seungcheol throwing caution to the wind, leaning in close enough to taste the salt on your skin, and saying, âI love you.â
This is Seungcheol planting his feet and fucking up into you, unwilling to hear your response. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, but sometimes bliss is just bliss, and heâll willingly take either.
This is you coming undone on his cock, breathing rapid and ragged, pupils blown wide as you stare at him in awe.
âSay it again.â
Someone slams into the wall just outside Seungcheolâs door, and all at once the real world creeps back in: the thrumming bass line of the music downstairs; laughter, shouting, and yelling; fists banging on shut doorsâbut he hears you loud and clear. Presses each word into your mouth this time and groans when you swallow them. Barely makes a sound as he spills inside of you, feeling like every nerve in his body is aflame.
The two of you are quiet for a time as you try to catch your breath. Seungcheol only moves to grab his duvet and wrap it around your shoulders, smiling fondly at the small thank you you mumble, seemingly still bogged down, well-fucked.
He presses a tender kiss to the corner of your mouth.
âOkay?â
You nod, push at him until he lays back and pulls you with him, lets you use his firm chest as a pillow. That flag youâd made fun of before isnât up there anymore, but Seungcheol feels warm at the memory anyway, almost laughs at the comment he imagines youâd make.
Clears his throat. Tries to find his courage. âI really am sorry,â he tells you again, because it doesnât matter if he loves you if he doesnât know how to be good at it.
âI know, Cheol,â comes your easy reply. Youâre tracing shapes on his stomach that have his muscles contracting. âI know you love me, too.â You sigh, press your lips to his rib cage. âWho knew itâd only take making out with Mingyu to get you to admit it.â
A wild laugh tumbles out of him. âFuck off.â He can feel your grin.
âYou got a fucked up way of showing it, though.â
He hums, holds onto you a little tighter. âGo easy on me, I only figured it out about an hour ago.â
âAn hour?â you faux-gasp, make like youâre about to leave. âIâm outta here. I know my worth. If Iâm going to say it back to someone, they need to be in love with me for at least two.â
He chokes at the implication, heart threatening to beat right out of his chest and into yours. He knows he looks exactly like the moonstruck, loved-up loser he is, and he coughs to cover it. âThatâs what I said,â he lies. âTwo hours. You mustâve heard it wrong.â
No, it was never like this.
#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol smut#scoups x reader#scoups smut#seungcheol imagines#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#seungcheol fanfic#scoups fanfic#jewel writes#fic: wntt
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Companionship | pt. 11
Dr. Michael âRobbyâ Robinavitch x f!reader
Previous | Next
Summary: A first date and a whole lot of sexual tension.
[ Series Masterlist ]
Note: Yâall really know how to make a girl feel special!! Thank you for all the likes, comments and reblogs!! You guys have been real troopers through the whole slowburn portion!! Now we move on to (mostly) better things for these lovebirdsđ
Word Count: 2.8k
Warnings: age gap, jitters, anxiety, mild angst (itâs literally just who I am at this point lol), mild fluff, alcohol, talk of Adamson
not beta read
A complex flurry of emotions whirled around in his chest, thoughts exchanging between this is good and this is very bad. One wrong move and he could destroy it all, or he could actually make something real out of it.
It was equally thrilling and terrifying.
He remembered Danaâs eyes on his back as he left on time, skipping out right after giving report to Abbot, after avoiding her questions for over an hour. The curious eyebrow raise from Langdon as McKay had whispered something to him, or the way Princess hovered while you were still present. The way Jack so clearly looked like he wanted to say something, no doubt hearing something in passing from Dana, or the rumor mill buzzing through the hall.
They only got more obvious as the weekend got closer.
âYouâve been leaving consistently on-time recently, boss. Even Abbot noticed.â Dana said with a quirked brow and a knowing smile, âHave anything to do with that pretty girl in here earlier this week?â
âI have no idea what youâre talking about.â He lied smoothly, âWhat girl?â
Dana laughed. âThe one you rolled right over McKay to help a few weeks ago? A simple stitch job and you took it. Must be special. Even got her back right away to get them taken out.â
Michael hummed, already knowing that Dana was likely seeing right through him. âWasnât Gloria just down here explaining satisfaction scores? You know, making sure each patient is seen and heard.â
âWith just her?â
He tried to temper the blush, âWas it? Canât remember everyone Iâve helped.â He glanced from his computer screen to the opening ambulance doors. âOh, look at that. Gotta go!â
âSaved by the bell!â Dana called after him.
Langdon approached him later, bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands in his pockets. They had just stabilized a patient and were waiting for Garcia to come and consult.
Langdon blew out a puff of air, âSo that woman was totally checking you out the other day.â
Barely sparing him a glance, Michael removed his gloves, âThat so?â
âTotally!â Langdon told him eagerly, before flickering his eyes across his face, âThere was something there.â
Michael hummed indifferently.
McKay piped up from the side, âCalled her a VIP, if I remember right.â
It was hard to miss the way Perlah and Princess exchanged a glance.
âCome get me when Garcia gets here.â He said, departing from the trauma room looking for something to busy his hands â or just keep everyone from asking any more questions. The gossip was never likely to stop, but he hated being the center of it.
It seemed like things never stayed quiet long, since Dana found him sometime later, crossing her arms across her chest.
âVIP, huh?â
Michael let out a long sigh, glancing at the clock and hoping his shift would end already.
â
Michael asked to pick you up, and you accepted easily, pacing around your apartment in heels and the dress you had borrowed from Erin. You half wished you had been able to drive yourself, distract your mind with music or some random radio show, and the lull of Pittsburgh traffic.
He arrived a few minutes early, and knocked on your door, and your heart lurched into your throat. It took a few beats of your heart to steady yourself. It was only Michael.
But now feelings are known and there is no more hiding.
Perhaps that was a good thing.
When you opened the door, he was standing there with a bashful smile and flowers. Lavender, purple hyacinth, and babyâs-breath with green foliage holding it all together. You momentarily forgot to breathe, looking from the flowers in his hands then to his face, face lax with dumb disbelief â a thousand words swirling in your mind immediately going silent.
âYou got me flowers.â You said, more so from shock rather than a statement of fact.
âI got you flowers.â He said, trying to gauge your reaction. âI wanted this to be proper, but I havenât been on a date in foreverââ
âTheyâre beautiful.â You breathed out, ignoring the storm in your chest. âNo oneâs ever gotten me flowers before.â
Surprise crossed his face momentarily. âThatâs a shame. You definitely deserve them.â
A warmth rose to your cheeks, before moving to the side, âCome in. Iâll get a vase.â
Do I own a vase?
He stepped into the apartment, handing the flowers over, watching as the smile lit up your features. You inhaled the scent of them, closing your eyes to savor it. They smelled sweet, with the calming aroma from the lavender, and you sighed in contentment.
âYou look beautiful.â
You stopped, looking at him, ignoring the way your ears grew hot, âThank you. You lookââ
Grey chinos with a light tan cardigan buttoned over a white shirt. His long, dark grey woolen coat was left unbuttoned, looking effortlessly in the area between elegant and casual. A carefree sophistication that even in Erinâs expensive dress you felt out of place. His beard was trimmed neatly, hair combed carefully, with a smile that clouded your thoughts.
ââreally good.â
He blushed.
You moved into the kitchen while Michael stayed in the tiny foyer, hands in his pockets. You grabbed a pitcher to fill with water, unable to quickly find a vase. The water pitcher would do.
On the drive, you had such an urge to grab his hand. The sight of him with one hand on the wheel, the other loosely hanging off the bottom of it, a relaxation seeping from his posture, made your mind lurch into overdrive. You felt rigid beside him, thinking of a hundred thousand things, overthinking anything you could say â should say â that would have been commonplace for any normal first date.
But you already knew those things.
The silence was riddled with tension, thick and unchecked. The way his fingers flexed on the steering wheel, or lingered when he turned the volume up or down, eyes not-so-subtly looking over at you periodically. Each time it felt like he was stoking a fire low in your belly.
He opened his mouth to trade small talk until you arrived at the restaurant, and the low timbre of his voice cooled the anxiety in your chest and fanned the flames in your abdomen. You felt far too hot in your coat, buzzing with anticipation, with nerves, with wanting.
Peregrin was an elevated, classic, modernized eatery, that felt mildly out of place on the street corner â decorated in fairy lights, hues of blue and grey, and sharp, deliberate angles. It had overpriced appetizers and an overhyped atmosphere, but everything you had heard about the food had been good things.
Your table was ready when you walked in, a few minutes early for your reservation, and you absorbed the interior quickly. Refurbished dark wood floors, light cream walls, a brick wall accented on the far wall, copper fixtures and large windows overlooking the Allegheny River.
The waitress eyed you when she arrived to take the drink order, but was discreet in her assessment. The feeling of being criticized hit you like a freight-train. Once upon a time, you would have thought the same, questioned the girl's sanity or the man's intentions â but now you sat knowing both. As big of an age gap as it was should have given you more pause than it did, but you had already danced around the edge of it long enough. You had run far enough, and you were tired of allowing your own feelings coming second place to those around you.
You tuned it all out. You had to. You had to.
You smiled at him, âIâve been looking forward to this.â
Relief flooded his face, looking back at you. âI have too.â
You both knew you were not talking about the food.
âI hope work was not too chaotic this week?â You ventured, opening the menu.
He chuckled lightly, âEveryoneâs been pestering me about the mysterious girl all week.â
Your face warmed, âOh no, I didnât cause too much of a stir, did I?â
âI think I created it myself,â he said, pulling out his glasses, âwasnât exactly as subtle as I would have liked to be when you came in.â
You paused long enough, staring at him, for Michael to look up over his frames at you. Warmth pooled lower and you took a sip of your ice water to try to snuff it.
âWasnât my intention.â You said tightly, âDidnât know that was the hospital you worked at.â
âIâm glad you did.â His lips dipped momentarily. âNot that you got hurt, butââ
âYeah, me too.â You offered a smile, bringing your wild thoughts to heel.
He smiled, looking back at the menu, âHowâre your classes going?â
âGood, actually. Still busy trying to stay on top of everything, but itâs good.â
He rubbed his hand along his beard, the light catching several of the greys, âYou know, Iâd like to say somethingâŠabout thatâŠwithout being too forward.â
You raised a careful eyebrow, your lungs stalling.
âIâŠstill want to help you.â Michael said, brown eyes watching you intently before caving and looking back to the menu. âWith school, your bills.â
âMichaelââ
âI know, I know.â He said quickly, âNo ulterior motives. You wouldnât owe me anything. Just because I want to. Because I have more than the means to do so.â
You hoped the dim lighting did not give away the way you flustered. âThatâsâI donât thinkâI canât accept that. ItâsâŠnot right. I donât want to use you.â
âYou wouldnât be.â He assured, one side of his lips quirking up. âIâm offering.â
You frowned, âIt just reminds me of what you said; that I wouldnât be here unless you were paying me. Iâthatâs not what I want you to think. Thatâs not how I want to feel.â
Michaelâs tiny smile disappeared, and he just stared at you, gears clearly turning over in his head. He opened his mouth, but the waitress returned to take your order, interrupting him. Scribbling down on her notepad completely unaware â or just unfazed â by the tension now collecting at the table.
When she departed, you were both silent.
You chewed your lip and avoided his eyes.
âIâm sorry I made you feel that way.â He finally said, removing his glasses to rub his eyes. âI donât feel that way about it. I know you would be here without it.â
âAre you sure? I feel like money will just complicate this again.â You met his gaze. âI donât want to burden this with money, or insecurities, while weâre still figuring it out.â
Michael nodded in what you hoped was understanding. âYouâre right, but itâs a standing offer. If you ever need it, itâs there.â
You let out a long breath, âThank you.â
He sipped the white wine he had chosen for you both, glancing out the window at the sunset.
Part of you felt endeared that he still wanted to help out, but the money felt like an unnecessary weight to add to your shoulders. You did not want to hinder the relationship budding between you, or give him any reason to second guess your intentions.
âIâm glad weâre here.â Michael told you, offering a smile.
âI am too.â You grabbed your wine glass and raised it. âTo second chances?â
He clinked his glass with yours and grinned.
â
When the food arrived, you were trading light banter. It felt easy, uncomplicated, despite the warm feelings invading your chest and working their way to your heart. You tried to take a breath, slow it all down, but they thrummed beneath the surface. He was polite, except the occasional way his eyes took you in â eyes lingering over the exposed bit of skin of your chest that the dress made obvious, wandering slowly back up to your eyes.
Those eyes were going to set you on fire.
You laughed, âThat reminds me of when we were all on lockdownââ
Michael grew silent, a faraway look in his eyes, completely unaware of the rest of your sentence, or the way you stopped short.
â...you with me?â You asked softly, running your fingers along his hand until you were holding it. âIâm sorry, I didnât really realize how much the pandemic affected you.â
He blinked rapidly at you, before trying to shrug it off, clearing his throat. âIt usually doesnât.â
âI know it took its toll on the healthcare system, I wasnât trying to make light of it.â You told him earnestly. âDo you want to talk about it?â
âI lost my mentor.â He said quietly, looking down at his food. âIt was the hardest thing Iâve ever had to do. I had to make a choice, and it didnât end up really mattering.â
You squeezed his hand. âIâm really sorry. Adamson? Tell me about him.â
Michael looked up at the sound of the name, momentarily surprised by you remembering it.
âHe was a force. Reliable. Took me under his wing not long after my residency and showed me just about everything I know. He always knew what to say, a trait I wish I had.â
You nodded along.
âGreat doctor, even better man.â
âI can see how much you admired him. How long since he passed?â
âThree years about two months ago.â He said.
âIâve never met him, but I donât think he would want you to carry it with you like this. You said last week that it was for a little girl, and I know she didnât make it either, but Iâm sure he wouldâve wanted you to try. If he was as great a man as you say, I doubt heâd want you to feel guilty over it. If he showed you everything you know, then surely the decision you made would have been the same one he would have.â
The words hung heavy in the air â and Michaelâs eyebrows scrunched together while he digested them. He squeezed your hand tightly and a tear slipped from his eye.
â...thank you.â It was quiet. It was raw. It was unmasked.
You brushed your thumb over his knuckles and smiled softly.
He wiped away the tear quickly and cleared his throat, âSo you said school was almost done. Is this your last semester?â
âYeah, just have to finish out my classes, and then Iâll be graduating in two months.â
âDamn, youâre almost done.â
You moved your hand from his back to your lap, twisting a bit of pasta onto your fork. âI try not to count down the days. But then Iâll have to get my certification, then Iâll finally be a CPA.â
His smile was easy, âCongratulations.â
âI havenât graduated yet.â But your lips moved upwards anyway.
âYouâve put in a lot of hard work, you should be proud of yourself.â
Your cheeks burned, âThank you.â
The check came, and you only tried to glance at it once before you reined the thoughts in. He grabbed your hand when you got up from the table, his touch equally holding you steady and sending your thoughts back into a whirlwind. Heat had your heart racing, thoughts without any pure intention slipping in and making you blush deeper.
You intertwined your fingers instead of saying anything.
In the car, the conversation continued easily, though Michael reached for your hand again and held it throughout the drive. It felt like pieces were slotting into place, and it felt good to not pretend. To allow yourself to feel the feeling coiling around your heart. To accept his attention, his intention, without feeling like there was anything hindering you.
When they arrived at your building, he got out to walk you up. You went to protest, but the warmth was back rolling around in your stomach and you closed her mouth. Instead, an excitement was building.
He spoke first when you reached your door, âI had a really good time tonight.â
âI did too.â You were grinning. âThank you for our first official date.â
He smiled, dark brown eyes flickering to your lips and back to your eyes. Your breathing picked up to keep up with your racing heart, and you glanced at his mouth. When your eyes returned to his, he was already leaning in.
You accepted the kiss eagerly, curling one hand around the front of his coat, the other moving to his hair. He took the invitation, bringing a hand to your cheek and pulling you closer, pressing his other hand to the small of your back.
Something bloomed deep in your chest, and you savored the taste of him while you could. He pulled back before it delved any deeper, though he held you still against him.
âGoodnight,â
âGoodnight, Michael.â
There was a fear of being known, but you were both finally letting the light in.
[ Next ]
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(50 tags have been reached with the combo of all three taglists, so unfortunately The Pitt taglist for this series will be added in a reblog right after this is posted - Iâm sorry if this is an inconvenience!)
most of the heavy angst is over â they still suck at feelings, but theyâre learningđ
as we get closer to smut territory, I get more worried it wonât live up to yâallâs expectations lol (đ)
#the pitt#michael robinavitch#dr robby#michael robinavitch x reader#dr robby x reader#michael robinavitch x female reader#companionship series#asxgard writes
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HQ BOYS AS YOUR S/OâWHAT I IMAGINE THEIR INSTAGRAM WOULD BE LIKE
synopsis. hq! boys using instagram but they're down bad for you
ft. hinata shoyo, tsukishima kei, suna rintarou, kenma kozume
others. character! is aged up, hq timeskip! era
notes. idk i feel like this could be better but I'm too lazy to be bothered. this is just a silly little thought while i was drinking tea đ
[ masterlist ]
HINATA SHOYO would post you a lot. He definitely has you on his profile picture; either it's your solo picture or a picture of you and him. His posts would only consist of four things: you, volleyball, his friend's, and himself (occasionally)âbut there's more pictures of you in it than the three mentioned. His fans teases him and says that his account basically turned into a fan page of you. His bio would be in between something so sweet or so cheesy. He'll probably have a corny quote.
âRomance is icing, but the love is the cakeâ@your_usernameâ
âmy love: @your_usernameâ
âMy sunshine forever & always @your_usernameâ
TSUKISHIMA KEI rarely posts you. It's not that he doesn't want to, it's just that. . . He likes having his privacy with you. but when he does post you, his fans go berserk. It's a rare opportunity for him to post you (I strongly believe he'd post you in special occasions; like anniversaries, special holidays (if you celebrate), or winning his games), so of course, everyone will have a field day about it. And when he posts you it's not just a simple picture, he'd have a full on note for you.
âThank you @your_username for everything you do for meâfor all the support you give me whether it may be coming to my games, cooking me good food, saying the exact words I need to hear, or even simply just your presence by my side. Thank you for being with me through everything. This 3rd year anniversary won't definitely be the last anniversary we'll celebrateâso here's to more love that I'll give you, pipsqueak. I love you always.â
SUNA RINTAROU post you way too much. He'd have at least five highlights about you; one for his favorite pictures of you, one for him and you, one for your unflattering pictures, one for very special occasions that he's with you, and one for videos he took of you. And he doesn't just post you on his stories, he also has tons of pictures of you on his main post. If hinata has three things he post, well, suna only has you on his instagram. People often mistake his account for your account because of how much pictures you have in it.
âCafĂ© hopping with @your_usernameâ
âShe said that I should post this picture of her @your_usernameâ
âIdk who this person is, do you? @your_username?â (*but his post is literally you)
KENMA KOZUME posts (sometimes) whenever he feels like it. he just generally doesn't post a lot. But he posts about you on random occasions. mostly post dumps about you, like what he did in a month with you. Or simply just random pictures of you (some unflattering and some aesthetically pleasing). And he posts with no caption, just you and your @. his fans are basically dehydrated from pictures of the two of you, so they also have a field day whenever he post about you. I'm pretty sure it'd even go trending on twt (x) at least once or twice.
âđ€ @your_usernameâ
âout & about w/ @your_usernameâ
âily @your_usernameâ
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#â§.*· hqÂĄ#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fanfiction#hinata shoyo#hinata shoyo x reader#tsukishima kei#tsukishima kei x reader#suna rintarou#suna rintaro x reader#kozume kenma#kenma kozume#kenma kozume x reader
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