#I’m sure I’m partially emotional because of like. the devil’s cycle. at least that’s what my mom says. but god this just pisses me off

[rosesradio]

a new reality show concept where a bunch of influencers who disrupt public peace & film without permission are put on an island and then hunted for sport. whoever gets the most kills gets the most ad revenue

[98prilla]

Seeking Oblivion

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AO3

...

It was… unnerving, Janus had to admit, walking through such a dead, quiet imagination. Virgil had taken the lead, eyes scanning the forest, head slightly cocked as he listened for anything approaching.

 Idly, he let his hand trail through the mist, watching it part around his fingers. It didn’t even feel like anything. Nothing did. He was used to the imagination having substance, depth, birds singing, wind blowing, the thousand little details that made it all feel real.

 Even the vines, huge as they were, didn’t seem fully really… real. There was no sound, not even their own footsteps made noise against the ground, no smell, from the earth or the vines or mist, and nothing different to see for miles. The land itself didn’t even have any character to it, it was all one endless flat plain of vines the size of redwoods and the smoky fog that obscured the ground. At least that made it easy terrain to traverse. They were making better time than anyone had anticipated, though now that they were getting deeper, it was getting harder to keep their bearings.

 He let his pace slow just a tad, falling back to walk step in step with Logan. He seemed lost in his own thoughts, and Janus didn’t want to interrupt him. So he simply waited, walking silently until Logan seemed to come back to the present, acknowledging his presence with a small nod.

 “Janus. Is there something you needed?” Logan’s voice was even and calm, and it was an absolute lie. And that was partially Janus’ own fault.

 “No. But I have something long owed you, if you’ll have it. An apology.” He replied softly enough the others wouldn’t hear, but Logan could. This wasn’t their business, but he owed Logan this.

 “For what, exactly?” Logan, not pausing in his stride, though some barely repressed emotion flashed across his face.

“A multitude of things. The most recent of which is pulling you out and replacing you yesterday.” He noticed Logan rub his neck where his cane had hooked him, wincing as he saw a flash of a bruise peeking out from under his collar. “I did not mean to hurt you, physically or otherwise, and I know I did both.” Logan looked hard at him for a moment before sighing, clasping his hands behind his back.

 “What did you hope to accomplish, in impersonating me at that juncture?”

 “I hoped they would listen, that Thomas, at least, would listen, before things went any farther. And they would have never listened to me, as I am, not then.” Logan let out a small, bitter laugh.

 “Clearly you weren’t paying attention to events before you pulled me out. Patton skipped me. I did not agree with his views, so he decided no one needed to hear them. I already minimized my presence as small as it could be without being completely gone, and even that was not enough.” He was shocked at the amount of hurt Logan was displaying now. He’d known the logical side was not alright for quite a bit, but he hadn’t realized how deeply hurt he was.

 “and I’m sorry for that as well, because I am guilty of silencing you when your opinions did not align with mine. I excluded you from the trial because I knew you would be able to much better defend Thomas, yes, but also because I was trying to show Patton, specifically, that his moral code was flawed. Regardless, that doesn’t excuse my actions, or my part in keeping you from being heard. You should be listened to, Logan. You have so much of such import to say.” They walked on in silence for a moment, Logan’s brain clearly turning over everything he’d said.

 “I understand why you took the course of action you pursued. I also understand the frustration of not being listened to or ignored when you have the solution everyone is seeking, if only they’d take you seriously enough to listen. I appreciate the apology, Janus. You… are the only one who has apologized for anything, in regards to my treatment. I… don’t fully forgive you, yet, but… but I think I will, given time.” He nodded, tugging at his gloves, a small smile tugging at his lips.

 “Of course. I look forwards to earning your forgiveness, Logan. And, for the record, I have always found your lectures interesting.” Logan’s eyes were on him again, scrutinizing him. “Also, I know when you lie, about emotions, and the having of them, specifically. If you ever do want to discuss them, not a word of it will leave the threshold of my room.” He responded seriously, making sure Logan could see he means it. “you’re the one who said repression doesn’t work, Logan.” He threw in for good measure, and finally Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses.

 “That was prudent of me, wasn’t it?” He laughed at the wry dryness of Logan’s voice, not missing the small upturn of Logan’s lips as well. “Perhaps, once this is resolved, I will take you up on that offer to… ‘spill the tea’, as it were.”  

 And that’s where Roman would have laughed. Janus could feel the absence of his booming voice, his bright laugh, in every echo of silence that passed by. He let out a long breath, trying to see anything ahead, but finding nothing new as he continued to follow Virgil’s lead, thankful for his impeccable inner compass as he kept companionable pace with Logan.

 …

 “We should stop.” Everyone looked up from their tired trudging at Virgil’s own tired voice. It was the first thing he’d said since they started walking, who knew how long ago. There didn’t seem to be any sun or day/night cycle, everything was the endless, growing gray.

 “I concur. We need a break to rest. We should try and sleep for a few hours, at least.” Logan added, wincing slightly as he sat, feet sore from more walking than he was used to. “I would advise everyone avoid the thorns. You can experiment later, Remus, when we aren’t already on a quest to rescue a creativity.” Logan added, side eyeing Remus, who was about to lick one of the thorns. Remus huffed but plopped down to the ground, spread out like a starfish as he swung his arms and legs back and forth across the ground.

 “Um… whatcha doin, kiddo?” Patton asked, looking down at Remus, who stopped his furious movement for a moment.

 “Making mist devils.” He replied, sitting up. For a moment, a perfect outline of Remus stayed imprinted in the mist on the ground, before it coalesced once again. Patton’s eyes widened and he giggled.

 “That’s pretty neat! Mind if I join?” Remus’s eyes widened and he smiled, small and hesitant, a real smile, as he nodded. Logan sighed, watching the two of them flail on the ground, devolving into giggles as they tried to make different shapes with their wild movements. It wasn’t rest, but they were relieving tension, and at least they seemed to be getting along.

 Virgil had slumped to the ground as well, knees hugged to his chest, head resting atop them. That pose always meant he was worried. So did the eye shadow he wore, already a shade darker than when they had entered.

 “What if we can’t fix whatever is wrong with Roman?” Virgil blurted suddenly, the thought clearly having been revolving through his head all day.

 Janus sat down beside him, resting a hand on his knee, feeling him just barely shaking.

 “we will.”

 “How can you be so sure? We don’t even know what he’s done to himself! I mean, look at this place! And Remus said he didn’t feel anything, nothing, from Roman! What… what if we’re too late?” He asked, quieter, voice shaking, and Logan moved to sit on Virgil's other side.

 “We have overcome all of Thomas's previous dilemmas, yes?” Virgil nodded. “And, though difficult, we have each worked through our own personal dilemmas together, correct?” once again, Virgil nodded. “and we are all still growing and changing and coming to terms with ourselves and with each other. But we have always gotten through it all by working together. It stands to reason this will be no different.” Logan finished, watching Virgil carefully, feeling a spike of pride as he saw him using the 4,7,8 technique.

 “I know. I… I’m just… I can’t stop thinking, y'know?” Virgil said, running a hand through his hair. “I'm just worried. He went through a lot, yesterday, and I know how that can mess with your head.” He mumbled, not protesting as Janus wrapped an arm around his shoulders, letting his head rest on Janus's chest as his other arms wrapped around him, reminding him of the weight and pressure of his weighted blanket. It felt like home and he nearly cried, burrowing further against him, exhaustion from the trek and the day before and all the stress in general cresting over him now that he felt safe.

 “get some rest, love. You could use it.” Janus murmured, and Virgil could feel a hand massaging his scalp. He nearly purred at the gentle touch, letting his thoughts go as he slipped into sleep.

…

“you’re rather good at that.” Logan commented, rolling his eyes as he looked over to see Remus and Patton had fallen asleep playing with the mist, and were now snuggled on top of each other, both snoring slightly. Janus followed his gaze and chuckled.

 “I had plenty of practice. His Dark Days were something to behold.”

 “Dark days? As in when he lived you as a ‘dark side' as Roman called you all?” Janus shook his head.

 “Not quite. When… when he first formed, he was afraid, so afraid, of everything. He couldn’t stop the panic attacks, he was paranoid that everything and everyone was out to get him. Being in his room for barely a minute was unbearable. It took a long time to build trust with him, longer before he would let me help him. He slowly got better at managing, at recognizing the worst of the irrational thoughts, at not isolating himself quite so much. It was hard, the hardest was getting him to believe he deserved anyone’s kindness, getting him to fight for himself.” He shivered slightly, remembering the creeping fear of Virgil's room, the voices whispering, distant screams, eyes watching him from the corners of the room, shadows moving in the edge of his vision. Virgil’s own growling, echoing voice, tempest tongue tempering every word he said with that dark reverb that somehow only grew louder until it drove you insane.

 “I’m proud of him. I’m proud of you, Janus.” His eyes widened as his gaze shot to Logan. “You’ve come very far as well. I know none of that was easy. Trusting us, wasn’t easy.” Unconsciously, Janus rubbed at his wrist, the ghost of bare skin making him sigh.

 “I suppose not. But it was necessary. If I wanted your trust, I had to give some of my own. It… is terrifying. With the little I’ve given, how easy it would be to break me down. I know that you won’t, but it still doesn’t change the power you all hold over me now.”

 “We haven’t done a very good job of showing you the benefits of trust. Recently, only the downsides have been demonstrated. None of us have been at our best for some time now.” Logan answered, sighing. Janus smiled tiredly, shifting away his extra arms, idly stroking down Virgil’s back as the side’s eyes twitched in his sleep.  

 “We should try and get some sleep. Remus is a font of energy, he’ll be up in a few hours badgering the rest of us until we get moving again.” Janus commented, Logan frowning.

 “unless Roman’s state starts influencing Remus as well. I know they are linked, but I am unsure of the depth of their bond.”

 “I hadn’t thought of that. It’s… unpredictable, how it affects him, sometimes. I’ll keep a closer eye on him just in case, I know his tells better than anyone else.” Logan nodded, smiling a bit fondly as he looked at the pile of Remus and Patton.

 “hopefully we’ll have Roman back with us soon enough we won’t have to worry about it.” Logan answered, settling on his side on the ground, watching Janus do likewise, noticing his slight shiver now that he was closer.

 Without thinking much of it, Logan moved closer, curling around Janus, who had laid down facing away from him, Virgil curled against his chest, still.

 “Is this alright? I noticed you were cold, and with our combined body heat, you should be able to reach a more optimal temperature.” He asked, ready to withdraw, but Janus shook his head after a moment.

  “It’s alright. This… is nice. It is warmer.” Janus replied after a moment of thought, and Logan shifted closer, resting his head in the crook of Janus’s neck, closing his eyes and falling asleep instantly, missing Janus' own small, happy sigh.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 44

Spoilers, obv.

I'm aware that this is either going to be a relatively short one or an epic one. The risk of the latter is that rather than just talking about the issue, for the first time I'm free to talk about the series as a whole, and so talk about some of those other choices. There'll be some of that, but it would warp the nature of the notes, and give some false perspective. I can talk about it being over now, sure, but talking about it all means I'm not talking about this element. Not least because I can't talk about it all – there's still the question of issue 45.

But still. There's a lot to talk about, and a lot of hard things in here to do. We knew where we going, but the devil is in the details. The devil's everywhere.

Jamie/Matt's Cover

Minerva finally gets her head-shot. I was a little worried that people would realise exactly what was happening to Minerva here, but I didn't see anyone realise she's falling, and speculate why. Of course, I knew what it was and couldn't not see it. That's how it works.

It's a striking last image though – this is an especially blank glance, in the middle of all the motion. Matt's pink/white nimbus is really powerful too.

Emma Rios/Miquel Muerto

Emma's one of our favourite artists, and we were so glad that we managed to get her before the end. Emma's always someone who gets this evocative drama of it all – this is obviously a momentous cover, but you don't know the moment until reading. Laura and Lucifer being a core relationship, and the hint of leaving. Miquel does strong, atmospheric things with the colours as well. It's a great cover to end the story on. On - Pretty Deadly is back on the same day as 45, and I can't wait. Gets!

IFC

In terms of minor things we did which have a big emotional effect, changing the gods' names to their human names was certainly one. It sits there and stings.

Page 1

This issue is particularly tightly wound, so we set the clock on the issue in this one page.

I had a couple of people wonder where the cops came from. I presume it's because the delay in publication – the "we have to go now because of woden's tape has revealed we're almost all complicit" is the only reason why they went for Minerva immediately.

For a page that's so tightly wound, Jamie does some great establishing here. Opening panel with the fire in top of Valhalla, to link to last issue. A shot with all these people in it – a character beat, and three extremely dialogue low panels.

Page 2

Riff on Better The Devil You Know.

The weird rhythm in WicDiv is the arcs-which-take-place-in-a-very-short-time and arcs-which-take-place-over-months.  Faust act, Rising Action, Imperial Phase II, "Okay" are the over-a-short time. Fandemonium, Commercial Suicide, Imperial Phase I and Mothering Invention are the extended ones. The closest to one which does both is Faust Act, which spreads its action over a week or two.

Page 3

Lovely stuff in here with Jamie, in terms of character work – obviously this is Lucifer hamming it up, but seeing individual responses around the room is a hell of a thing. Minerva's a total mess here.

Valentine giving up clever insults at this point is probably a thing.

Page 4-5 "Bothersome" is a very Lucifer word. The expression in panel 2 is also key Lucifer – that eye-roll of it.

Laura's captions also arrive mid way through – key, as they're clearly going to be key. I was thinking of having them at the start of page 3 as well, but we can let us live in the moment.

Laura's performance tentacles is a lovely panel – seeing how Matt works the colours on the space. The blues fading to white, the reds. Honestly, this is making me miss working with Matt already, and seeing how good he and Jamie are together.

Callbacks here to Lucifer in the first arc – the cycle of it all.

"There were two girls in hell" makes me well up. |It's one of my favourite Jamie expressions in the issue.

Page 6-7

When planning the larger structure of WicDiv, I was aware that I made certain calls in hope I would be able to save people. The early "death" of the Heads was actually a way to protect them. I was aware that characters who were in play were far more likely to die, as they had more chances to do so. I knew I could likely save the heads, so by making them heads, I made it more likely.

I originally planned for Dionysus to die, but I couldn't bear it. His hubris was real, but the idea that someone could give so much without anyone really caring or doing something for him was too heart breaking, even for me. I realised during Rising Action that I could actually save him – the pieces were already in play, and I just had to lean into those relationships to lead to Baph's choices. At the start, I wasn't sure where Baphomet ended in year 4 – part of me thought he'd survive, as I didn't have that final beat for him at the start. That I didn't have a hard end for Baphomet always made him open to the story finding another purpose for him – which is an end which I can't imagine any other way now. WicDiv is an awful necessary machine.

That applied to Lucifer too. She was a darling, obviously, but she was always going to be trouble. Part of me was aware that she could come back and almost immediately get killed again. I'd like her to make it out, but it was possible she wouldn't.

So, as I said last time, when I realised she was the final opposition I was pleased – that was perfect to the themes and the structure.

I wrote in my synopsis that Laura uses a performance to touch Lucifer and convince her into renouncing her godhood, and left it at that.

There it sat until I came to script it.

Because, in all honesty, I had no idea how Laura was going to convince Lucifer to give up her godhood. I just trusted that there would be some way Laura could reach her. Or, really, I hoped there was – because I knew if I wrote something that didn't feel convincing to me, I wouldn't do the scene. Lucifer would have died instead.

So, the day came when I was scripting this sequence, and I started writing, and wondered what the performance would be, and I just wrote "Laura descends the Ananke head sequence and drags Luci back."

Then I leaned back, a little shocked, because that was clearly right, and so clearly fit with what the series does – a final deconstruction of one of our core visual icons, giving a new way to look at the sequence and think about it. It was just there. As if it was there all along. Or just the sort of thought that emerges when you've been obsessed over this fucking thing for five years.

I'm aware of the weird resonance as well – Laura's finding a performance to save a friend is me finding a performance to save a character. WicDiv was a weird book.

Jamie and Matt go to town, of course – the melting faces are just painful, and wonderfully done. The fleshy reds, the fires. How Clayton uses the captions across the page to play with pacing...

I originally suggested we do it completely as the WicDiv spread, with Laura crawling across the centre spread and making her way up – that it would be treating what is meant to be two columns as a space was decided to be too much, so instead we went with flipping to a subjective perspective on a space that we've only experienced from a single objective outside viewpoint. That's got magic too.

Page 8

A long time to get to this kiss, right?

We moved the dialogue around a little to nail some moments – we had the magic effect on the final panel so the transition to the next page wasn't too much.

The annoyance of Eleanor in the last panel is just my everything. I described it to Jamie by using a metaphor of me in my early thirties, having split up with an Ex, and torn between various places, including seriously wondering whether, after everything, the simple answer to my sexuality stuff was that I was just gay. How annoyed I would have been, after all those years, if it was that. Just a "Oh, FFS. I'm just gay! Why didn't I get that earlier? Why have I wasted all this time? What a fucking fool I am."

That.

Page 9

Repeat of core WicDivian imagery, turned to a different purpose. After these magificent godly reveals, we do this very normal world.

Yeah. This would have been a happy place to end the series.

Page 10

Laura wants to be better, of course. It's easy to say you want to do better.

A+ Cassandra-ing in the background there.

Page 11

Now, Minerva is dead in a few pages time, and she is a genuine monster, trapped in a system of her own making. But I didn't want to send her into the void thinking she had that horror awaiting her. I can't forgive her, but I can give her a little peace.

Title drop, of course, with a wonderful expression by Jamie. There's a lot here.

Okay, let's do this.

"Okay" is a phrase that's haunted WicDiv. We've come back to it multiple times – it's a fascinating word in the English language, and has caused problems for people translating it, in the mixture of ambivalence and optimism in it is really tricky. Clearly, we use everything inside the word.

It wasn't my Dad's last words, but it's the last exchange I remember with him. Everyone else was out, and I was helping him back to his seat. He says to me.

"Son, I know this is strange, but I can't help but think it's going to be okay."

And I can almost imagine my eyes bulging out of my head, as I wanted to howl at him: no, Dad. It really fucking isn't.

This comes up almost verbatim in the first arc, with the exchange between Laura and Lucifer before she breaks out. The series is about many things, but my Father's death was the core inspiration for it, and that "It's going to be okay" haunted me and it.

I don't think this is what my Dad meant, clearly, but it's how I've ended up metabolising it. I've been signing "It's going to be okay" when I sign Faust Acts, partially as it's the WicDiv phrase, partially as a secret-promise-that-they-won't-all-die-and-there-is-hope and partially because "When death comes, it's okay" is that buried in it. If I had to boil the book down to a sentence, it'd be it. It means different things depending how you look at it. That's all I've got.

Page 12

I talk about Solving The Equation of the third year, and Dio being in play for this section is absolutely part of it.

That first panel. I said that the cast were all people I'd have killed to be at various stages of my life. Umar is someone I try to be now. I don't succeed, but he's a worthy goal. Kind is not soft and all that.

While the silent panel is something you've all seen before, it's worth highlighting how good Jamie is. The favourite gesture of the scene is the eyes upwards of Cassandra – I don’t remember Jamie using this angle before, and it's really striking. I suddenly miss that I won't be working with Jamie again for a while. Have fun, Jamie. You were the best.

And now, this.

Page 13-14-15

"It would take a real monster to kill a kid" is one of those lines that have been sitting in the files since the beginning.

There was a fan artist in the WicDiv community early on who kept on doing these totally charming portraits of Baal and Minerva playing around in a big brother and little sister way. Every time I saw them, I felt both love for the art, and a sadness. "In four years time, you are going to have a terrible day."

That's one of the weirdest things of the last four years – that. Knowing that stuff is out there.

Looking at this at a little distance, I see the elements in – the standing on the edge, the "Please Don't" and all that. I sigh. This is awful and upsetting and that page turn is one of the hardest in the series. I wish Valentine would forgive himself, but he couldn't.

This is the sort of thing I want to write a lot about, and want to write nothing. I think I'll keep it as just the facts, in terms of trying to plot this.

Occasionally you get to a knot – I knew Valentine had to kill Minerva, that Valentine couldn't bear to live after that was done and that Minerva had to die after Baal gave up his powers. How to you put those three together, without introducing something else.

C asked "Where does it happen? Could it happen somewhere high?" and the rest was there. Falling being the repeating WicDiv image as well.

I think I pictures this actually side on, without the drop. Jamie's choice is better, just because of the eyes.

The three panels is something we're returned too, but choosing the distance was key. You know it's there, but I didn't want to revel in the dead bodies. This is a different kind of death to many of the ones in the book, and has to be treated as such. Any more blood than shows they're dead would be obscene.

I sigh again. I note that Matt does the lights on the guns perfectly, but I want to highlight craft. The shot of eveyrone waiting is a huge thing – Inanna's grief, Dio stepping in, and the crossed arms of Cassandra...

16

I think it was when I was plotting the second year at WicDiv that I realised that I couldn't see a way out of this which didn't involve the majority of the cast ending up in jail for a while. I was okay with that, as it made some sense. It's thematically resonant for a few ways – it's a choice which shows their acceptance of their acts, and their actual humanity as well as an understanding of their power, and lots more.

However, due to all the straight, white characters being dead, it does mean that a all-queer all-PoC-minus-Lucifer cast going to jail, in the current jail system. That said, while far from perfect, the UK is not the US. I don't think I could have written this ending in the US. Even in the UK, I safety-proof it conceptually as much as I can.

They are all queer, and almost all PoC... but they are also superhumans (and mostly rich.) They have a degree of power, and options which are not open to other people... and it is their one chance to try and navigate this space with no-one else (either them or other humans) getting killed. It's their last chance to act in good faith to the rest of the species.

I wouldn't trust the system if they were people without their resources. They're not. And this is the least-worst choice I can see.

I'm sure some of you will disagree with me on that.

17

More safety-proofing – Voluntuaryism is an anarchist idea. "The only true order is voluntary order" basically.

18-19-20

This is a lot of space for a sequence which is relatively minor dramatic weight, but as we segue towards the end, we want it to breathe a little. Plus there's the matter of the page turns – the previous interstitial was about pushing that as well, so both the "surrender" and Laura's final headshot are on a turn.

Matt's lighting in this sequence is wonderful – I said to Jamie that I was thinking of almost suggesting we're changing genre before Laura steps in. It's a "The special forces go after Batman" sort of sequence. I was thinking of the one from Batman: Year Zero, which is some top class special forces entering darkened environments.

Another moment of the weird-colouring-in-a-balloon, and the actually living in the moment.

Taking the guns is more safety-proofing, showing they are not acting in blind faith of the system. That Laura can take the guns also shows that Laura likely could walk out of prison any time she wants, and the rest will be able to do the same too.

(Not that the people in power know they don't presently have access to their big ones, of course.)

We originally has Cass shouting that final line, but had it much more matter of fact. This is kind of past shouting.

21-22

Yeah, this is calling back all manner of stuff. Back to the courtroom.

Jamie asked me a lot about the final expression, as is only right. This is a story where we've used head shots a lot, normally with pose. This is something else.

23

Worth noting that Laura couldn't be sentenced to life imprisonment. She's 18 so would be sentenced for "custody for life". Not that the story actually says what she's been sentenced to that either – we cut before the sentence is given. Don’t expect a firm answer to that in next issue either.

But they all have been sentenced to life, in the obvious metaphorical way. Laura has been depressed and self-destructive to the point of a death wish throughout. At the end, she's decided to try to live.

I count that as bitter sweet, and I count that as a win. I'm proud of her. I'm proud of them all.

I'm in tears now.

24-28

And we were when compiling the letters page. Thanks you lot.

29

Jamie and I both had really intense feelings about the final cover. It's clear why we've kept it secret (it gives away Laura survives) but to see this young woman we've been writing about older was incredibly moving.

Laura was 20 years younger than me at the start of WicDiv, and she's 20 years older than me at the end. Feeling suspended between the two poles, identically. The duality of it, one more time.

I love this cover so much, and I loved these characters, this book, you lot.

Thanks for reading.