#have a fandom blog that’s lasted more than a year on my part lmao where people sometimes discuss stuff with me!!!!!!!

[akkivee]

HAPPY 7 YEARS OF HYPMIC EVERYONE 🎰🥳🎰🥳🎰🥳

to celebrate, i’m just going to list seven moments hypmic irrevocably changed the trajectory of my entire life lmao

1️⃣ buying the lives was probably the best worst thing i could have ever done to myself lmao. by the time i’d realised you could buy them, only the 2nd&3rd lives were out on dvd (they’re bundled together on one set), and though it wasn’t the first hypmic purchase i made, it kicked off the lives obsession lol. the 2nd live in particular blew my mind lol it was the first time most of the cast were on stage for hypmic and i’ll never forget the happy surprise on kijima-san’s face when the crowd screamed along to his call and response parts in drb lol. on top of that, kimura beatboxed live on stage confirming it really was ichiro beatboxing, shiraimu and nozu in lieu of souma-san’s absence gave it their all singing his parts and nozu dropped the sickest freestyle, and the samajuto cigarette kiss was born and so thoroughly rewired everyone’s brains, it just became part of samatoki’s character lmao

2️⃣ this list very easily can be just about the lives lol but i also loved getting to watch them live lol. forever and always 🖕🖕corona but getting to sidestep around abema’s booboo dookie region locks to watch the 5th live set off a precedence for needing to live watch them lmao. it’s probably the snowball that kicked off the avalanche that convinced me to try to go to japan for the first time in ten years, give or take, and bat’s 8th live day two was their most special live yet lmao

3️⃣ ITS NOT A LIVE ITS A STREAM LOL but the moment the kuukou brainrot roundhouse kicked me in the face was watching kuukou’s spirit possess hayama-san in real time lol i would have saved myself from so much heartbreak if i had stayed a matenhoe but nooooooo kuukou had to manifest in his seiyuu and i haaaaaad to watch it happen live and now i’m kuukou’s btch 🙄

4️⃣ wanna know how i became a matenrou stan lol???? jakurai’s voice introducing matenrou to the world in drb and hifumi flexing the love his women give to him makes him filthy rich lmao

5️⃣ i’ve felt a lot of frustration whilst mucking about in hypmic land, but i don’t think i have ever experienced as frustrating emotional rollercoaster ride more than the one hypstage has taken me on lmao!!!!! hypmic sneakily changing their description of the franchise from ‘voice project’ to ‘multimedia project’ when it was announced, okay actually showing a fantastic story despite hypmic’s ‘lack’ of one back in the day, nagosaka getting introduced and giving us simultaneously the best and ‘worst’ depiction of kuukou, only exclude them in the following tracks lmaooo, creating a really cool concept for mixing division pairs with an oridivi only for it to get cancelled like genuinely 🖕🖕covid but rolling up with the greatest comeback in the form of the rep lives where in the middle of the run we were given the best kuukou performance yet, shortly followed by the announcement that everyone was graduating!!!!!!!! but bop 2023 was magical; a fantastic send off to a legendary cast and closure to the pinnacle of stage production and hypmic storytelli— the stage was rebooted six months later in an absolute betrayal that was quite literally assuaged my love for hypmic, hatred for nelke and getting REAL WOMEN on stage lmao

6️⃣ and so like lemme circle back around to bat’s 8th live lmao. do you know how crazy that time was lol???? bat stans threw together a really sick flower display at a local flower shop, crowdfunded to make the lights display in this popular mall in nagoya shine purple for them, bars dedicating drinks for bat and welcoming live goers for an after party drink, day two of the live fell on bat’s 3rd anniversary and a few days prior they dropped the bright and dark mv for hypstage and the hella awesome banquet mv that bat stans ripped to shreds analysing jp bat fans my BELOVED lmao november is truly a bat month lol but anyway the 8th live was a peak time and i miss it daily!!!!!!!!

7️⃣ instead of being really gross and sappy about kuukou or the piece of merch that got me into hypmic lol shoutout to the music like actually lol. dba locked me in the moment i listened to it and i think very fondly of those days going thru the youtube for more lol. gave me a refreshed appreciation for music, esp jp music, got me to listen to more music instead of the couple hundred or so songs i’ve been listening to since i was in middle school LOL. so thanks hypmic, for giving me peak dissociation songs (like tigridia), the hypest shit that had me yelling (like moonlight shadow) and songs that had my heart racing at 3 in the morning and thoroughly unable to sleep lol (can you believe kaigen exists in this world and they let that shit drop during bat vs mtr 6th live and bc the bat seiyuu’s stage presence is just top tier they blew it out of the park frame one and she says the brainrot didn’t truly settle until live watching hayama-san get possessed but the damage was truly done listening to that calced cacophony of noise and in the ensuing silence as hayama-san’s ‘kaigen’ echoed throughout the studio OH IM GOING TO BE SICK—)

[roy-kents]

hiiieeee first and foremost…I love your blog! I just recently found/followed it and I can tell how invested and passionate you are about 9-1-1 and the fandom 🫶🏽 I just wanted to ask about something you answered in regard to your last ask— where you said “bucktommy isn't the intended end-goal” and that that’s pretty widely accepted within the fandom. which I can also see! I see that a lot of the fans are CONVINCED that this all leads to buddie in the end…

I guess I just wanna know…how are you SO confident that all of this is leading to buddie? I’ve read a few answers to asks on other blogs that briefly touch on this, and more than anything I want to believe it wholeheartedly (trust me!) but I feel like…idk part of me can’t help feeling they’re gonna pull the rug from under us and have it NOT lead to buddie. what has you so confident about this (and how can I be this confident lmao bc I really hate the doubt i’m feeling)?

hello!

first of all, i'm not sure if you're new to watching the show alltogether or just the tumblr fandom, but welcome! we're quite tight knit here but i'm sure you'll have a great time! <333

as to your question: there's a lot of reasons i'm confident that this is leading to buddie; honestly, there's been a lot of evidence over the years which tells us what's happening, and it could be an essay in and of itself. i'll try and summarise a few of the key points of evidence that, in my opinion, tell us where things are going (this will contain spoilers for any new fans of the show!!):

in eddie's very first episode (2x01), we see him for the first time on-screen through buck's pov. here, as we see eddie on screen, the son whatta man plays as eddie pulls his shirt on in slow-motion. to a lot of us, this is indicative of instant attraction/interest on buck's part, and gives us a major clue that something is happening here

in buck, actually (2x08), one of the main calls we see on the episode involves a gay couple, thomas and mitchell. when mitchell is pronounced dead, thomas and buck are sat on the ambulance and having a conversation, which goes as follows:

thomas: we only ever wanted to...to go together. that's love. buck: i'm sorry. i really am. i guess i can only hope to find something that good. thomas: you don't find it, son. you make it.

the idea that you don't find your love story, you have to put in the effort and make it becomes a recurring theme between buck and eddie. they manage to construct their own family unit consisting of themselves and chris over the years. the idea that they are a family already feeds into several different plot-lines over the years, perhaps most notably eddie's issues with ana and their eventual break up:

in episode 1 of season 5, eddie has a panic attack over a shop assistant thinking that ana was chris' mom. later, when he's talking to buck about it, he mentions how they became a ready made family...i'm not sure if i'm ready for that. when buck and eddie have been making their family for years now

eddie's entire breakup with ana was very queer-coded. honestly, watch the scene here, but ryan acted his absolute ass off and the entire thing reeks of eddie being a queer man at his core

honestly, one of the biggest bits of evidence we got in the first place was buck being confirmed as bisexual canonically. this allows us to thoroughly go back through and recontextualise a lot of interactions between buck and eddie over the years. two key scenes are the will scene (4x14 survivors) and the well scene (3x15 eddie begins). both of these scenes show buck and eddie in moments of vulnerability with one another, and show that their connection surpasses the connection which they have with anyone else

side note - i watched eddie begins yesterday, and the entire time eddie is drowning at the end of the episode, his life flashes before his eyes. all of this is chris, but a good chunk of the scenes also have buck in them.

again, there's a lot more i could point to, but these are the main things which stick out to me right now! i hope this answers your question!

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I'm not sure you need people to announce that they're just here for fun? it's tumblr...surely that can be assumed?

i dunno sometimes it seems like when you say this stuff it's a bit of a straw man argument because I don't really see anyone on here taking this stuff that seriously. we are not larries! no one is claiming Paul's kids are fake or anything lmao. yes people like to look at the history but again it's tumblr, it's just for fun.

maybe there is a whole other delusional side to beatles tumblr that i am not seeing, but i think maybe if people are getting mad when you argue with their dumb little posts it's just cause they think that you, in fact, DO want to spoil the party!

I have been waiting for someone to make this joke ever since I got that url. Have had to make it myself often <3

1. "we are not larries" is an incredibly low bar.

2. the specific contents of theories isn't the only thing that makes them conspiratorial. it's about the way they're argued.

3. Actually, I am thinking of One Specific Event from about a year and a half ago that was treated as people "spoiling the party" when in fact it was an example of good faith engagement with a seriously worded discussion post.* Maybe you missed that, and it's not like it's a super common occurrence. But in hindsight, I don't find it surprising given the climate here.

*I can provide more details on this specific thing in DMs if someone is curious. I don't wanna hash it out on main, especially since I was only peripherally involved.

4. This isn't about whether tumblr is your space to have fandom fun – I do assume that. It's about whether someone is making arguments in jest or if they mean them seriously. Both of these things might be fun to someone (but maybe I could have worded that point better in the original tags).

5. No, no fake kids, and this fandom isn't plagued by a central figure who's to blame for all the "bad stuff". Plus, it's "decentralized", so no singular entity is controlling some super specific narrative. This definitely keeps the space in check. That's part of it though: it's all very sociological, which makes my issue difficult to address because most single posts aren't a problem in of themselves, but there's a tangible vibe to the whole thing. That's also why I want to tread lightly here; I know a lot of it is a joke, but it's hard to tell what isn't. Like, yeah, I've been passive-aggressive lately, but I've also been watching this for a long time. And I regularly see things I perceive as a strawman against my position as well as absolutist rhetoric, which reads just as much as picking a fight as any of my recent posts do. If you talk about there only being "one explanation" for something, what is that, other than putting forward your theory as true? Is it really Not Serious? Every time? Even when the post is presented in a serious way, with sources and evidence? People on this site talk about what they expect Mark Lewisohn to include in his Definitely Trying To Be Serious And Factful biography series. Those demands are never serious? And I don't want to just ruin people's fun for no reason! But I also have a hard time dismissing every single thing that Sounds Kind Of Serious as Probably A Joke (and I do do it, pretty regularly) And I semi-often see people doing things that set off my alarm bells, even when they are not proclaiming Stella McCartney to be a lifelong actress. (reminder that several people on here freaked about the For Paul tapes story being semi-debunked last November; like actively scorned people who were trying to figure out how that story came about and where it originated. That's not normal, sorry to say! And, funnily enough, about a year ago, there was a blog on here pushing a very very very esotheric version of McLennon [and even trying to monetize it] and while most people dismissed them for the kook they were, they splashed onto the tumblr scene in an identical way [saying something that amounted to: "how dare you imply this apocryphal Paul McCartney quote might be fake?"] –––– so my question is: is it not that serious? I Don't Know You Tell Me!)

6. This is @ me mostly, I guess. I just feel like this space has become more and more of a monoculture. Shipping is the default angle with which everything is approached. If John and Paul write songs that are maybe not about each other that's not often seen as worth diving into. (See: Beautiful Boy tinhatting). I actually want to try and change this; get more diverse content on this site, but I guess I assume it's not welcome, which is on me, really. I have slides explaining my specific reading of Double Fantasy (yes, seriously) and there isn't really much stopping me from posting them, outside the fact that most people on here seem to have a very different relationship to the songs from the album than I do, so I assume they won't care. But y'know, I'll try to just Make More Content and see what that does. (For the record I know that sounds whiny. And I do seriously want to do better on that front)

[daniellesimagines]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by (not really): @swiftispunk !!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 5

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 1,607,034

3. what fandoms do you write for? 5sos, all time low, hot chelle rae (yes still lol). venturing more into stranger things and pedro pascal characters tho

4. top five fics by kudos i don't post all my fics separately (even tho i probably should 😅)

5. do you respond to comments? if they're in my inbox yes, but actual replies/reblogs not usually

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? drive you out of my mind or ghost of you

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? the rest of them lmao i hate when there's no happy ending !!

8. do you get hate on fics? i never really have honestly except for one or two like 10 years ago

9. do you write smut? they're in the drafts, will probably never see the light of day tbh

10. craziest crossover? i don't really do that actually, i'm not much of a crossover girlie

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? only two that i know of. they never asked to post it, but they did credit me as being the original writer and the other one ppl were telling me i was crazy for thinking it was stolen even tho it was posted word for word 🙄🙄

12. have you ever had a fic translated? no but that would be so cool i think 🥺

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? yes!!! nowhere to go with the lovely @maxxisbae (idr what their blog is anymore but all the parts we wrote are under my ficrec tag (pls be advised we never finished it tho))

14. all time favourite ship? y/n and character 😇

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have one inspired by the movie apollo 13 that i'm so excited about but i just have not had the motivation to write any more for it :(

16. what are your writing strengths? definitely arguing dialogue. i love nothing more than to argue with (basically) myself

17. what are your writing weaknesses? getting to the part i actually started the fic for lol

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? when writers put the translation in ( ) at the end of that line, my god it's just *chef's kiss*

19. first fandom you wrote in? hot chelle rae :')

20. favourite fic you've written? i'm gonna do top 5 bc i can't pick just one lol 1: broken love (ashton irwin) 2: fix a heart (luke hemmings) 3: moving along (michael clifford) 4: the last dance (marshall traver) (listen ok i loved this series and nOBODY ELSE DID) 5: where you go (eddie munson)

tagging: @snugglyducklingbrewhouse @joelsgreys @pedgito @sonderbucky @bxcketbarnes @icanbeyourjedi @clumsyclifford

[chipthekeeper]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

thanks for the tag @quarantineddreamer!!

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

blame my father tbh. when i was a wee lad upset with the ending of a book he told me "write a different one" and it stuck. i didn't actually do it but 15 years or so later i was suddenly filling in gaps

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

an oddly complicated question. officially, three i guess. star wars, top gun, and one i will not speak of. i have also written for wheel of time but have not finished nor posted. one day.....

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

if we ignore the first time (we will) just four-ish

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

definitely write. as discussed recently, i have this problem where i think my stuff is pure garbage when i read other people's work. or the opposite problem arises and my editor mind makes me mean

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

oh god uhhh......i've tried to get better at figurative language and description and just stuff that doesn't come naturally. idk. i don't think i've been all that successful at improving anything specifically but i know when i read old stuff i cringe more than when i read recent stuff, so something must have happened

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

i can never remember specifically anything weird, i just tend to have stacks of star wars books at hand to make sure i have "facts" correct. although for the top gun fic i was researching like. parts of airplanes? it always feels more weird to research real world things lmao

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i live for 1. play by play of the lines you liked and what you thought about them 2. very long keysmash in caps lock

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

i'm not very fringey. non-toxic lesbians (by my interpretation) i suppose, that doesn't seem to be popular faskldfkasjkdj

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

same as B, smut. i feel like i almost got there lol but it's just.....idk i get very sweaty about it

10. What is the easiest type?

nothing anymore it seems! but my style leans to angst with a happy ending

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

in the shower. or anywhere really but the shower is where anything useful happens. and google docs unfortunately. though things tend to originate in notes app scribbles before getting there

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

kind of anything not ship-centered i think. i just sort of don't really trust myself with characters outside the two that i really focus in on for something. which is stupid but that's just how my brain works

13. What made you choose your username?

originally it was chippingthegoalkeeper, in honor of a world cup goal that changed my life. but since my blog moved away from soccer for the most part i've shortened it. i think the brand is strong though at this point

this was fun! i feel like i'm the last person to do this so no tags from me (unless you wanna do it in which i'll tag you in like it's wrestling)

[pastballads]

mun meme

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍!

★  NAME:  Luan

★  PRONOUNS: He/Him/Dude/Bro/My guy/etc.

★  BEST EXPERIENCE: I... honestly can't think of any? I've had more bad experiences than good. Maybe I'd say when I finally found my footing with independent OCs with Izren and ended up buddies with Bear and his whole entourage of writing partners. I've joined up on Discord servers with people I write with in the past, but I've never had fun like we do on his server. Plus we play D&D!

★  PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord is my go-to if you wanna reach me. I use Tumblr IMs too, though with how they're about as functional as a Bethesda game, I often ask if we can move over to DMs.

I've got my Discord tab open 24/7 on both my laptops, plus I have the app on my phone. I lurk a lot. But nine times outta ten, I'm more of a reactive replier, almost always messaging back rather than messaging first.

★  MOST ACTIVE MUSE: Kouki, always. Getting into the mood with him is so stupidly easy. Put on any rock music, think about any series, play a video game, whatever- and there's always something that makes me do that Leo pointing meme and think "Hey, that gives me ideas for that white-haired little gremlin!"

★  EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: I've honestly lost track lmao. Ballpark estimate is 11-13 years since I started around 2010 to 2013, with my intro to roleplaying being those ancient Quotev quizzes and the chatroom website Chatzy. If I remember correctly, my first actual RP was either in a Sonic chatroom or a Naruto chatroom. And I've never even watched Naruto- I was going on nothing other than the Fandom Wiki. You could even say that my cringe-worthy OC there was the first iteration of Kouki. Only reason I still remember that chat was one of my writing partners died of some terminal illness. Basically drowned in her own blood.

After that, I moved here to Tumblr. It started with Pokemon blogs... then Steven Universe (where I saw them actively out-toxic the MLP fanbase and drive them out of the fanbase)... then I was the sole Soul Calibur roleplayer... then I made a Skyrim OC based on the Kid Dragonborn mod... then I fell back onto Naruto and joined the fanbase here with more cringy OCs... made my other, still on-going Pokemon blog about eight-ish years ago... joined the JJBA fandom, which was and still is the best fandom I ever joined... then I joined the RWBY fandom... then the BNHA fandom... and now we're here!

★  RP PET PEEVES:

I'm gonna cheat a bit and leave two of Bear's peeves, if only because he completely hits the nail on the head. There's just no better way to put it without rehashing things.

Excessive commentary blogging. Before it was just a lot of dash commentary that had me going 'eh'. But in recent years it's gone past that. I've become disenchanted with blogs that become largely commentary for whatever it is they're doing on Discord. All power to those Discord groups doing what they do! But it reaches a point for me that I don't really see them as indie, and it can feel insurmountable trying to interact with them if you're not entangled with their zig-zagging plotlines.

Blog hoppers. Because for a slow burner and long hauler like myself, they're the most impossible people to write with! Which is a shame, because a lot of the hoppers I come across do seem to have some writing talent to them!

Fandom RP events. When I was younger, I used to love the idea of these big events with their own plotlines and moving parts that anyone could participate in if they wanted to. Galas, holiday parties, festivals- stuff like that.

That lasted until 2018, when I kickstarted Bernadotte's original JJBA blog and brought back my long-running Pokemon blog. In the span of something like 5 months, eight separate RP events happened back-to-back in just the JJBA fandom alone. You can only try to participate and be entirely ignored for so long before it sours your whole outlook.

And I mean entirely. I remember writing twelve different starters that people asked for, responding to numerous open threads and starters, liking many different event starter calls, sending asks- the whole shebang. Not even once did I get anything back. If you enjoy fandom RP events, more power to you. But I've been burned too many times to even want to try.

★   PLOTS OR MEMES: Doesn't matter to me! Either way is great! Back in the day, I relied heavily on memes without any ideas for plot, just sending in whatever sounded like something my muse would say. Basically "Oops! All Memes!" Now? I put more thought into things. Overthink things too.

Receiving memes? I almost always ask if there was a reason or an idea driving my partners to send in that specific thing 'cause you never know, y'know? They usually do. But it really doesn't matter to me if they do or don't. I'm just happy to write with y'all.

★  ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: There's a little bit of me in every one of my muses! An example off the top of my head? Kouki is based on how I was as a kid his age. Corbin was inspired by my high school years, my love for old books and poetry, and my music tastes. My Pokemon OC was straight-up a self-insert when I started that blog. Tino came from my RWBY days and my absolute love for weaponry.

They've all got fragments of me in 'em!

tagged by: @dcviated Thanks bear! tagging: @pluviacuratio, @boomermania, @remunporium, @caestusvulpes, @fctedivided, @monmuses, and anybody else that wants to do it!

[persephoneflouwers]

Angie, I am kinda new in the Larrie fandom. I get this that all the so called gfs are actually stunts and all that promo narrative. But could it be possible that Louis is really the father? Why would he drag a child into a stunt for this long. It's not like he's not had a long term stable relationship on the side. Why the need for this extra coverup? I guess maybe he could be the father afterall. Maybe some surrogacy shit was involved. Could it be possibly?

Hello, angel! Merry Christmas ✨

I am going to take time to answer this, because I don’t want to say things that can be misinterpreted. First thing first: welcome to Larryland! It’s fucking nuts, ngl. Secondly… I get where you are coming from. I get it, really I do. But guys… shit happens all the time. I know we like to believe life is easy and people come with high morality and good at hearts. I know that would be incredible if the world wasn’t indeed populated by greedy men who will find any possible solution to make their plans work. I know, I see why many people like you have the hardest time digesting babygate.

I’m not here to convince you on this, because we are not here to bear the pain of this on our shoulders and you should always find yourself navigating what’s comfortable to you and if this is not a safe topic for you to enter, then don’t do it. At the end of the day, you are a fan of his music not of his gossip agenda am I right? Believe what makes your staying here more enjoyable.

There are plenty of timelines, masterposts and stuff explaining why nothing around it makes sense. Have a read, if you want. What wasn’t real 7 years ago isn’t real now just because they keep doing it. It’s funny how blogs handle the discourse actually, because many times their points of discussion are going nowhere. We know nothing. Let this sink in: we. Know. Nothing. We don’t know who is running it behind the scenes. We don’t know in what extent the people who play pretend are actually involved. We don’t know who thinks what. We don’t know who is gaining what and who is not. I’ve seen people talking about trauma for the kid and what not. But seriously this is dangerous territory and there are so many things to say. But we can’t really, cause we don’t know.

I know it feels gross to have a child involved in this, but how is it worse than coming up with this in the first place?

Mind you. This is not Louis’ fault. You will never see me saying that. Ever. When you are part of the wrong mechanism, in the wrong environment, with wrong people behind your back… it’s so easy to get trapped into a mess like this.

The bigger the bait, the bigger the fish.

And we are common people, their rules don’t apply to us. Try not to use your knowledge of society and common sense for big multimillion dollars companies who will literally sell their souls to the devil to help their business rise. There are fields where there is no ethic for the workers and for the consumers (music being one of them). I know your next question is why they would agree to this, is it worthy? I can’t answer to that, because it’s not my call. It’s not my life, my dream, my job. Based on the person I am, I would never do it in the first place, but I am me.

I strongly believe (for now at least) this was their way to buy Louis out of that nightmare of a major label and I bet it wasn’t the only one clausole of the contract (include here no radio support, no huge promo, no media or other kind of important support). But this is just my opinion. I don’t have any proofs or tools to act like I’m right. And as a kind anon said I’m just a “doctor of idiots at best” lmao

I don’t know if this replies to your question, but no, angel, Louis doesn’t happen to just have a baby with a random american girl after he broke up with his fake long lasting girlfriend in the meantime a potentially dangerous rumour about his queerness and gay relationship with his also rumoured to be gay ex bandmate could ruin not only his band career, but their (Harry’s mostly) solo career.

Edit (because I misunderstood the question maybe): A surrogacy was involved for sure. Think of the fertility clinic sonogram we got last year. I just do not think Louis was involved. Why would a 25 years old boybander want to be involved after all? Looking for a baby’s surrogate mother instead of trying to fix his relationship with his gf of 4 years and then start a family with her? Doesn’t make sense not even for a rich person imo

[singwhenyoucantspeak]

Twenty questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @blackdalek! I feel like i maybe have not written enough for these answers to be that interesting but i'm going to do it anyway because fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Three. Although there are two other fics on fanfic.net that I never moved over to AO3. Full disclosure, I don't go by this url on AO3 or ffn because when I started writing fic i was still closeted even to this tumblr blog, which seems insane in retrospect LOL (also I have a lot of IRL friends on this blog now who don't need to go reading my fanfic. I guess that is where i draw the line XD so if u are an IRL maybe ignore the rest of this post. or don't - read on at your own risk lmao)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

47,860 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

OUAT - Swan Queen (although I have not written for them in about 9 years soooo. I should really fix that. but let's be real, I do not write very often in general)

Supergirl - General Danvers

Grey's Anatomy - Meddison

there are other fandoms that I definitely started writing things for and then abandoned before I even posted anything. Oh I did write Rizzoli & Isles fic a lot like 10 years ago but never posted any of it except for a crossover fic that still lives (and will die) on ffn. In retrospect that fic was v problematic due to copganda.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol I only have 3 fics on AO3 so guess they are my top 3.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Although I have not been lately because lately they're all like "I love this fic hope you come back to it" and um I can't really say if I will come back to it or not! I would like to, buuuut it's far more likely that when I start writing again it'll be something new. Who knows though! I am definitely at a better position in life to start writing again now than I have been for the last 2 years.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

well... I think i've only completed two fics ever LOL the first was a pretty fluffy one shot (i think... idk it was ffn era so who remembers). Rooftop Negotiations is pretty angsty in general but it does have a hopeful ending (and I prevented Astra from dying so how angsty could that really be XD)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all of my fics are intended to have happy endings, but they're for the most part unfinished so I couldn't say which would be the happiest ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Hmmmm I cannot remember if I ever have. It depends what you consider hate. I did get a very weird comment on one of my fics by someone who was really aggressively angry that I had abandoned it. So that was weird. I also got some criticism on that crossover fic I previously mentioned and yeah in retrospect that criticism was well founded.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

heh heh not usually but I can think of one scene that I wrote. If I ever continue my multichapter meddison fic I will have to decide if I want to write smut or not. I did rate it M so...

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh the crossover. Look, when I first started writing fic it was just me and my tumblr friend emailing a google doc back and forth, alternating each chapter, writing only for ourselves with no direction planned and no intention of posting it anywhere. And yes, we loved a crossover. Mostly it was Rizzoli & Isles and OUAT crossovers but my co-writer loved to introduce new crossovers without warning so those fics got out of control very quickly. But the first fic I ever posted was a crossover (again Rizzoli & Isles and OUAT). Can anything really be considered a crazy crossover though when OUAT is involved? the show itself is a crazy crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as i know!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that i know of (although I did start writing a fic in another language once. I never posted it though)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

uh the unofficial never posted fics mentioned above LOL

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

probably still Swan Queen tbh. I will never be over them. I feel like I have devoted my whole adult life to them.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Can I go where you go?

I sooo want to finish it. Writing that fic was the most disciplined I have ever been with fic writing and the only reason I stopped was because I moved across the country, started a new job, and got into a new relationship all at the same time and life was chaos for 2 years.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I *think* I am good at dialogue. I can usually hear a conversation between characters in my head and when I write dialogue I'm really just like transcribing what they're saying.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

description kills me. I cannot keep track of character's movements through space, I generally don't care about what their surroundings look like so I forget that the audience might want to know. My ideal fic would just be written like a play where I only have to provide the spoken lines and no other information or direction.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't think I've tried other than the time that I tried writing the entire fanfic in another language. I have read many a SQ fic that sprinkles Spanish dialogue in for Regina and tbh it is so hit or miss as to how well it works that I dunno if I ever would try it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OUAT/Rizzoli & Isles (was a crossover lmao)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

at this point, Rooftop Negotiations because i actually finished it and succeeded at staying within the scope of what I set out to achieve. and for what that was, I think I implemented it all quite well.

[stevebabey]

I'm the first anon, thank you so much for understanding. I have those feelings for months now and I'm going crazy lmao.

I wish I could get into character x character stuff, but unfortunately, my stupid brain loves to consume stuff through self insert, so x reader is my preferred outlet for everything :/ I just feel like I don't belong anywhere in this fandom rn in terms of content creation. I'm not into most x reader stuff and I like to explore more character things, but I also don't really belong in there because I'm not a shipper.

It's just so frustrating to see, and the other anon was right. The tiktokification of media and fandoms in general is insane to watch. Like I saw a tiktok that complained that the Poppy War by Rf Kuang was boring because it had no spice. M'am, this is a book about war? 😭 Or, like everything is described in tropes (that's a problem for books, not fanfic per se) for fast consumption, the plot doesn't matter if certain scenarios are not ticked off. Not to mention AI and things like characterAI where people just get quickly what they want without using really their imagination (plus them not caring that this is stealing from real people).

And yeah, the whole minor part. It's insane to tell 12 year olds, that virgins write the best stuff. I'm reading and writing fics since I was 14, and I'm "lucky" I wasn't really exposed to those things until I was 16. English isn't my first language, so fanfics were a bit limited, I guess (plus having a very nieche interest that didn't reach international fame and fandom). Also, I mostly consumed stuff from friends I know irl and we had a few spicy scenes because we were curious, but we never got exposed to hardcore smut. I'm not saying there should be no smut at all, everyone is free to express themselves. It's a problem if the fandom is only that because it creates a space not everyone has access to or gets messed up. Fandom is community and everyone should feel welcome. If I was a minor and all writer blogs tell me to fuck off because they only write mature things, idk if I would even wanna stay. Which is also another problem because fandoms die out so quickly as it is.

Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this exactly because you already said everything and I agree with you. <33

omg you say you don't know where you're going with this but brought up so many good POINTS

you're not crazy and you're definitely not the only one feeling that way!! i understand completely and it's infuriating that the topic of it is almost tongue in cheek in this fandom and lots of people feel they would be better off biting their tongue than expressing that frustration ://

character x character is something that takes a hot minute to get into i've found, i've honestly only just gotten into it within the last year or so (because i also struggle with like ocs and the like) but i am a long lover of the self insert i can't even lie <3

but there's like a difference between the way you describe this!! i think you're very much like me and it's like a genuine love for a character that drives your desire for writing self-insert- its like i love this dude so much and i want them to be happy and i want to be that source of happiness, i want to be that first kiss or gentle touch they need :D

andddd that's my problem with so much of the smut-leaning fics. where's the soul!?! where's the driving heart of the story? the best fics are the most self indulgent because you can see the best parts of someone in them !!!!

i'm really sorry that you feel like you don't have a place in this fandom but you do definitely belong here honey- fandom is supposed to be a community and there's no prerequisite to existing here at all and the fact there feels like there are certain amounts you have to succeed in to be a writer is so just bleh

tiktok is a goddam brainrotting place lmao and every day im not on it is a great one! the trope shit is SO true, like the idea that if you can check a few boxes (one of those things being smut) its the thing that makes a piece good instead of how it's written and the passion for the story like ugh and don't even get me started on ai 😭 that is a shitshow in itself and anyone who uses that to write fics or complete other peoples fics are absolute garbage people

the minor thing is yeah completely fucked and you raise SUCH a good point about how it limits the spaces that they can occupy which is so fucking stupid cos how many of us started in fandom at young ages??? everyone should feel welcome! and god the thought of someone trying to so hard to avoid nsfw content but just to have it shoved down their throat in every other post and also having so many writers telling them to fuck off ur so right, i wouldn't wanna stay either!

and it's just so so so sad because there are a thousand people who i WISH would write their ideas, write their fics, whether its bad or good first time around because THAT is the point of fandom. love for the source! new ideas! people's new takes on old tropes over and over :D

ah you opened the floodgate in me.... you didn't ask for advice but truly, write the most self indulgent stuff ever and it can't lead you wrong. i hope the culture of fandom changes and every time you ignore the urge to write for what u think people will like and just write what you want, we all get a little bit closer to that change :")

[cattimeswithjellie]

I posted 1,653 times in 2022

That's 1,653 more posts than 2021!

218 posts created (13%)

1,435 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@theminecraftbee

@eyes-inthe-skies

@raisans-art

@made-nondescript

@elytrans

I tagged 1,455 of my posts in 2022

Only 12% of my posts had no tags

#hermitcraft - 117 posts

#goodtimeswithscar - 91 posts

#double life smp - 69 posts

#grian - 66 posts

#double life spoilers - 58 posts

#lmao - 33 posts

#eggies! - 33 posts

#desert duo - 30 posts

#hermitblr - 21 posts

#third life - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#when this is over somebody needs to make a too many cooks style theme song for it where every verse is the genre for that week of the game

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Honestly now that I think about it, the part that's the most striking about the scene where Grian finally tells Scar they're soulmates is the fact that Scar goes along with it at all.

Scar can see the dripstone and he knows what it does. Grian has led him into this exact position before with glib promises of safety on his lips and then killed him. The first thing Grian did to him in the last game was steal a life from him. As far as Scar knows, Grian is his opponent in this game and he has no qualms about killing people with traps long before his red life.

And yet Scar follows Grian willingly onto the target and does not try to get away, apparently content to let Grian hurt him if that's what Grian really wants to do. But of course he looks away at the pivotal moment, focusing instead on something soft and comforting. Who would want to look their best friend in the eye at a moment like that?

2,423 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

#4

Hermitcraft's Season Nine combination of "creeping eldritch horror" and "Looney Tunes shenanigans" actually blends in an oddly pleasing way. Like, yes you could see a rock with a bloody flesh-geode inside, or a machine that eats worlds, or a library build on nothing inside an endless void, but you could also watch a guy splat himself like a bug against a bank vault door for ten minutes or watch someone drop an anvil from the sky onto their rival's sandcastle. What could be next?

2,722 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#3

Can't stop laughing at how smoothly and instantly Scar pivots from "my cookies are all natural and not those nasty processed Giga-Pies" to "my cookies are SO processed you would not even BELIEVE how mechanized and automated these cookies are" as soon as he gauges his audience. What a sales-elf!

3,426 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#2

Being on Twitter long enough to understand concepts like "brutal ratio" probably makes me a worse person overall, but on the other hand this is very funny.

3,885 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Cleo's stream today is very funny, she has pointed out the obvious fact that she and Bdubs have had conversations about Twitter and Tumblr as far back as the trouble she had on Tumblr back in 2020 or so, and that Bdubs is very aware of the existence of internet content beyond what is tagged to his attention. She agreed wholeheartedly that him pretending he doesn't is very funny, though.

Now I've got the image in my head of Bdubs trolling Hermittwt the way a dad plays hide and seek with a little kid. "Oh NO! Is there something hiding BEHIND THE DOOR? Maybe I'll go over there and TAKE A LOOK! Or... is there something IN THE CUPBOARD?" and meanwhile the fandom is standing behind the curtains, making a visible fandom-shaped lump in the fabric and giggling loudly.

4,941 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[taehyungie-ah]

Allow me to (re)introduce myself.

Hello world of Tumblr,

I am kinda sorta possibly using this blog again for the first time in years, so I figured I could give a little update. Lowkey considering just making a whole new blog maybe because some of the memories tied to this one are a bit... cringe. But I also have a massive amount of good, not-so-cringey memories here too, so I don't want to leave it. I might just totally revamp... hmmm...

Uhhh, where to start. Hi, I'm Ana (or SakuraFairy in most other corners of the internet)

This used to be a mostly k-pop blog? But I've really fallen out of that whole fandom for a lot of reasons; however, I still keep up with my old faves occasionally, and I still listen to K-pop every now and then when I'm working or something, but for the most part, I am not a hardcore fan like I used to be lol

I mostly just play (more like obsess over) video games now, a majority of them "cozy" games like Stardew and My Time at Sandrock (my biggest obsessions currently), Minecraft, Sims, those types of games. I've been playing video games since I came outta the womb, but I don't remember if I posted much about that before... Either way, there's probably gonna be a lot of game related stuff here from now lol

I'm also super into art and different forms of creative media, which is the biggest reason I fell back into Tumblr since a lot of artists post on here. I'm not an artist myself, but I could look at someone's art blog for literal hourssss. Any kind of art too - OCs, fanart, classical/historical, pottery, paintings, digital drawings, short comics, poetry-- literally any kind of art at all. So there might be a bit of that here as well.

Speaking of art, I really like manga/anime as well, although I'm mostly into josei and shojo titles. (Fruits Basket, my beloved) Occasionally, I go through a phase where I'm obsessed with Demon Slayer, so don't be alarmed if I suddenly post nothing but Demon Slayer when the new season comes out lmao

Oooh also, I really like cartoons. Like Steven Universe, The Owl House, Avatar the Last Airbender, Bob's Burgers... probably a few other ones I'm missing, but those are like the main ones.

Uhhhm, other than that, I can't think of anything else off the top of my head? So, I guess...

Nice to meet you (again) （＾∀＾）ﾉｼ

[thislittlekumquat]

"majority of the fandom is sebaciel shippers or sebaciel agnostics"

God I wish :/ That might have been true a decade or so ago around the time of S1/S2 when we were very early in the manga, but I think the majority of the fandom (or at least, those active online) is antis these days, honestly. A lot of the previously popular creators for the ship were harassed off of tumblr entirely ages ago, and several that left the fandom entirely rather than continue to suffer harassment. There are a few blogs still around that are (or at least a few years ago, were) extremely rabid antis that regularly sent hate and death threats that are still very popular. TBH the twitter/reddit community looks even more skewed. Kinda unfortunate, since there's tons of other fanwork for this show that I love that isn't Sebaciel, that I'd interact with a lot more if I could. I genuinely don't care if people don't ship it like I do (and honestly, I even love content where they straight up hate each other lmao, enemies to super angsty lovers is my bread and butter so that actually heightens the appeal for me personally?) but I definitely care if they openly call me a pedophile predator for it or interact with people that do. Maybe I've spent too much time in the trenches, so to speak, but I think I have probably half the fandom blocked at this point.

I'm so sorry that you've had to watch the fandom wither like that. I have been in a totally different part of fandom for the last decade so I didn't witness it firsthand, but the bummer is that I am not surprised in the slightest to hear that it happened. Like to me it's always made sense that people shipped them - it doesn't capture my interest but it's something I tooootally see how you'd arrive there from the canon. As you say, that antagonism is THERE! And like, people ship all sorts of fucked up shit in other series, and the source material is all sorts of fucked up in a ton of other ways, it's sort of like. THIS is the thing yall are worried about? Really???? Not the fact that Ciel is CANONICALLY DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE? Or that Ciel and Lizzie are cousins? Also like so many of us stan Grell who IS CANONICALLY JACK THE RIPPER, FOR GOD'S SAKE. They're all cartoon characters, who cares!!! Idk my entire point with the post was that I genuinely think the anti attitude is the problem here. And I hope that came across! I very casually block people now for having silly opinions which doesn't bother me EXCEPT as you've pointed out, you realize that it's hard to find other chill folks sometimes 🫠🫠🫠 anyways thanks for sharing your experience, I hope you find a little bit of fandom joy this week for your troubles 🫂

[thanatos-nightshade]

I posted 14,052 times in 2022

That's 5,524 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (0%)

14,039 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@olivegardenmenu

@willworkforcakes

@shpider

@tigerintherain

@seeyouguyslater

I tagged 762 of my posts in 2022

#ohshc - 11 posts

#fashion - 9 posts

#come back to this - 9 posts

#listen - 7 posts

#t-n talks - 6 posts

#art ref - 5 posts

#tbd - 5 posts

#food - 5 posts

#lmao - 5 posts

#screaming - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#a nutshell sorry not sorry also im not bragging about my artistic skills because for realsies i'm just slightly above average on them so li

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I finally did some art.

1 note - Posted March 3, 2022

#4

when you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

I'm fucking adorable. I guess like shallow/narcissistic but more along the lines of generally I like how I look. There are some things that I don't like but they don't perturb me that much. Generally I think I'm adorable/cute and I like that but have the occasional issue with grander adjectives like beautiful/sexy that we won't get into because liking myself is enough.

I like that I'm good at art?? I'm not like fantastic but aaah to make this easier on me this can lead into my next one

I like my jack-of-all-trades thinking in that I don't really try to HONE one craft and instead try to experience things generally. For example, when it comes to art, I'm not that great digitally or traditionally, or musically, theatrically, or other. HOWEVER I have experience in all these areas ranging from oil paints, watercolors, ceramics, theater workshop, drama, choir, dance, sewing, crafts etc does gymnastics count? jk whatever So I like that I have not only had all the opportunities to try these but that I have tried to work on each of them a moderate amount we're working on sewing and crafting it's my lowest art stat rn followed closely by instruments

Let's see, I like my friend choices. I feel like all the friends I've made have been pretty good. Some have stuck around more than others but any friend GROUP that I've stuck with for a period of time like months to years, I always think about fondly. I don't think I've ever had like an insanely toxic friend or like a friend that would back stab me does that make me the toxic friend? Anyways, I feel like a lot of my life is colored by the friends/people I've surrounded myself with and yeah sure not all of my life is great but I made some nice friends and had some good shenanigans wherever I went.

Last but not least, I like my absolutely self indulgent/self insert nature. Listen, there is like no fandom that I have been a part of where I have NOT self inserted myself into in some way or another and god damn it NOBODYS GONNA DO THAT SHIT FOR YOU UNLESS YOU PAY THEM. I CAN PUT MYSELF INTO MY FAVORITE FANDOMS FOR FREE AND BY GOLLY I'M GONNA DO IT CAN'T STOP ME MY BRAIN IS A SELF INDULGENT THIRST MACHINE AND IT IS GOING

Anyways thank you so much for sending me this ask. It took me two days to get to it because I needed to sit down and think through these. I can't wait to send this to some of my followers!

2 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

#3

I'm posting this at night because I want to share this and then bury it in reblogs because this scares me

3 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#2

My birthday is on the 6th so i cant help but think that scara being released then is hoyos bday gift to me (i may or may not cry if i dont pull him)

6 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I need to put diluc and dainsleif on either side of leon from dislyte because i swear to god its all i see

11 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

I. Think I just spent the last two hours deep diving into your blog lmao- Head full many thoughts and headcanons now- I just hyperfixated on all your aus at once, and it's been a while since I've read through so much new content! You are officially my favorite fnaf writer lol!

So, if you don't mind trading headcanons I was curious about why Moon and Sun hate parts and service so much! My personal hc comes from the fact that in game they have really dull, not touched up paint at all- And their room is a mess and looks like a glorified storage closet...So I'm just under the impression that they aren't very well cared for at all. I think the technicians would probably dislike Sun's energy and constant chatter (probably worse rambling when he's nervous) and I can see Sun squirming a lot when strapped down- Just in general I feel like he'd get on their nerves and they might objectively call him things like childish or annoying until he eventually starts to internalize these things with everyone but his brother. Basically a bit of verbal abuse.

Moon obviously would hate that and hate the technicians in turn- But he'd probably get his fair share of beratenment too with being so snarky and snappish compared to his brother. I feel like he'd be treated more like a feral cat than anything, where strapping him down is basically mandatory- At the end of the day I feel like both of them would just have severe anxiety revolving around parts and service and would need to go there together or not at all. Post game (if the pizzaplex doesn't burn down) they'd probably be doubly scared to go alone because Sun thinks the second they take Moon down alone they'll decommission him for all the trouble he caused- Likewise Moon is scared that they'll hurt Sun or decommission him by association.

Sorry that was a lot- I have many thoughts about parts and service! There's a lot of subtle things to pile on for angst! From what I've read your Sun and Moon hate parts and service for slightly different but still similar reasons? Mostly the decommissioning for Moon?

I'm glad someone enjoys indulging in my insanity. I swear, these two dragged me back into the fnaf fandom after years and I could not be happier. Gotta love these scrunkly boys.

Headcanon sharing is definitely fun! My reasoning is a bit similar to yours in some way. The condition of their room, and the general fact that they are probably disliked by the staff probably leads to them not liking the staff either. But it is a bit different for me.

Sun isn't necessarily scared of parts and service as much as he is the area it is located in. It's the one other part of the pizzeria he sees on a daily basis, and it is so drastically different from the daycare that it makes him anxious. It's dark, no bright colors, and feels like a haunted basement. But he gets along with the staff just fine. Sure, he is annoying to them; He moves too much, and sometimes won't stop talking, but considering they could be dealing with one of Monty's fits they are pretty lucky. As annoying as he is, he's very manageable with tricks that could literally be used on children being surprisingly efficent on him. Ask him to play the quiet game, or that if he stays still for his check up he'll get a sticker? Oh fuck yeah, it's on. Sun wants that sticker. So all in all, while he is a bit much personality wise, he also is very easy to appease. Don't flat out insult him, offer him a sticker for being good and deliver on said promise and he will be fine. He isn't hard to please. He trusts that the staff know what's best for him.

Moon on the other hand, doesn't trust them for shit. To even get him down into parts and service for anything more then a check up, they have to tell him exactly what they're going to do or he won't listen. He wants to know everything that's happening, and when they get annoyed he argues with them that it's HIS body and he has the right to want to know what they're doing to him. They found that reward doesn't work with him either, at least not something cheap like a sticker, and not having the patience to figure out how to handle his moodiness they ended up using punishment most of the time to get him to listen. Special restraints were made that could attach to the arms and back of the chair, so that they could do maintenance on him without fuss. If he gets moody, or stubborn, or moves too much, the restraints shock him. They are usually placed around his neck and wrists, and they are fairly good at making him listen; Though they are also what stemmed his fear of parts and service in the first place. The amount of times he got shocked before he grew reluctantly obedient was staggering (it was probably instated during his training period, and as I've mentioned before Moon was wayyy more hyper when he was first made- this probably had a hand in stopping that early on). These restraints aren't used on Sun because they aren't needed for him, they are only needed for Moon.

Sun also doesn't like it because he gets brought down there when he's been bad to be scolded. He gets upset because he was made to make everyone happy, and so he feels a lot of guilt for not doing that. Moon is upset being down there, and argues if he thinks what he's being scolded about is stupid, but is scared not because he feels guilt (though he does, if he did something wrong he will apologize) but more so because he's scared of being shocked for it.

Bringing them both down at the same time is worse, though. Because Moon is protective of Sun and vice versa. So Moon will ask about what they're doing to Sun, just to check to make sure it's safe and end up pestering them during Suns check up. And during Moons check up, Sun would refuse to leave parts and service because "if I leave, you'll shock him again!" (they can't put the shock restraints on Moon with Sun around because he gets irrationally upset). But after the virus, it is definitely at least partly related to them both being scared out of their mind about what will happen to the other. Sun couldn't run the daycare well alone, reflecting badly on his ability to take care of children, and Moon was.. well, Moon.

[yeolmae-s]

a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l (part 2)

CLICK HERE TO READ PART ONE

Writing this was a bit harder in comparison to the first part, because I wanted to organize things into a neat timeline, but I ended up not having enough patience for it lol specially because both of ChanBaek's main archive blogs seem to have deleted their pages documenting each date of EXO's early years. Therefore I apologize in advance if this part is a bit more messy. Also, please don't forget that all of this is my opinion and I don't mean for any of it to be taken as truth!

I kind of want to jump from MAMA era directly into Wolf era, since we don't really have a lot of cover regarding their debut phase besides Chanyeol's overeagerness and Baekhyun's awkwardness towards it, so to sum it up, I felt as if Chanyeol was more confident and consistent on what he thought an idol should act like, while Baekhyun (sweet, innocent Baekhyun who was a trainee for less than a year!) was still unsure on how to act on camera.

On the few early variety shows/interviews EXO appeared on, the members always pointed out how funny Baekhyun was, how good he'd be at variety and at doing imitations, but he never really lived up to all the praise on camera, although off of it, he most likely was as good as his members claimed.

He was a bit stiff on his early days in comparison to what we see today, and that's normal, I guess, since he debuted really quickly, but when you compare him to Chanyeol the contrast is so interesting, because the latter was able to latch on to a persona as soon as the public gave him one, while to me, Baekhyun was still doubtful regarding what to put on display. In the end, deep inside, Baekhyun is a private person, and was even more so when he wasn't confident enough to talk to fans like he does today.

Once again, I’m sorry for not being able to upload the gifs directly into the post, so I’ll just link them like I did on my last one.

This is another one of the moments where Baek appears to tell Chanyeol to just. Hold on for a bit.

There's another one similar to this where Chanyeol does the same thing (try to whisper on Baekhyun's ear) and Baekhyun fake laughs and stares at a fan's camera right after. Then, his expression just goes blank. It's really interesting to watch because you can just see the gears spinning on Chanyeol's brain as he stares at Baekhyun for a second and clearly thinks alright, fanservice time, and leans in to whisper something: it happens so fast you just know it wasn't genuine whispering, just a playful interaction for the fans, and Baekhyun's direct stare to the camera as soon as it happens just confirms this for me. 

1: Chanyeol spots his target.

2: He’s really thinking this through.

3: Baek's in a perfect position for whispering-time, so he leans in and does his thing.

4: Baekhyun laughs.

5: And stares directly at a fan's camera.

6: Immediately regrets his life choices. Chanyeol looks pleased.

It's actually better to watch the whole thing, so I'll leave it here. (starts on 0:28!)

(Random note: on this date EXO perfomed a cover of H.O.T's We Are The Future, and I feel like a lot of new EXO-Ls have not seem it and I adore this performance, so I'll link it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1-z4s3fdgo)

Now let's jump on to Wolf era, shall we?

Wolf era

I can't help but laugh when I think about how wild 2013 was for both EXO and EXO-Ls. They had their first hit song (which was Growl, not Wolf) the fandom grew considerably, shippers where just discovering the cute ISAC moments between "BaekYeol" and "HunHan"... Or at least that's how everyone remembers most of what happened during that year.

Are we forgetting the rumoured ChanBaek fight?

Considering their past interactions on airports, SMTOWN concerts, ISAC and other events, ChanBaek was now widely known to be close to each other. Baekhyun even said Chanyeol was the one who made him open up, and both of them mentioned feeling this "connection" to each other as soon as they met (although jokingly).

After Mama, the fandom was content-less for a considerable period of time, and what most people did was sharing around old performances and repeat overused memes.  I think that in every fandom there is a period where fans establish their main inside jokes and basically just get together to create a collective line of thought for perceiving their idols. That being said, one of the most well established facts in the fandom was that Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close. That was a fact.But then Wolf came, and they suddenly were not. 

This gif is a good example of how awkward their interactions were. Not even my delusional shipping brain in 2013 was able to come up with an explanation for it.

They simply did not acknowledge each other at all, and Chanyeol appeared to be closer to Kyungsoo (I think Baekhyun interacted a lot with Tao, but that may have been during the Growl era, not Wolf. As I said before, I'm a Chanyeol stan guys, sorry lmao).

Point is, these two boys who seemed to be best friends suddenly were clearly distant from one another.

What added fuel to the fire of the rumours was their appearance on Sukira, a radio show, where Sehun cried because the members sometimes had fights. Here's a fanacc:

[130530] EXO at Sukira

Sehun cried because the members sometimes fight.

Sehun: "Let's be loyal to each other, don't fight, and go until the end"

D.O: "We've been under a lot of stress lately because of the comeback, so I wish we won't fight in the future and do our best"

Here's a video cut of this part of their interview. 

I think this ask on lets-talk-baekyeol, a popular ChanBaek analysis blog from back in the day, shows how curious a lot of fans were.

What happened back then?

There's really no answer for that. On my opinion, not even Chanyeol or Baekhyun could give us a concrete answer on it, because I don't think an actual fight happened. For me, it was most likely a personality clash, a disagreement that probably wasn't even voiced out loud, just both of them noticing how uncomfortable things got, if Baekhyun's reactions to Chanyeol's fanservice is any indication. I somehow doubt there was a specific episode that created this distance between them, specially because during Growl, they went back to being friends, although not as touchy on camera as before, as if one of them had established their limits (oh, I wonder who!), but I still have this feeling that all of this was unspoken, because unspoken things seem to be a pattern on ChanBaek's relationship (something I'll touch on later, hopefully).

But it was during Growl era that I noticed something else about Baekhyun.

Wolf era

EXO'S Showtime was a such a gift. I recommend reading lets-talk-baekyeol's blog for this. I don't really agree with everything they say they do present a lot of relevant points. I may repeat them here, since I noticed them myself as well, but credits for them nonetheless.

I remember finding the lack of ChanBaek interactions during the episodes really dissappointing, but considering the Wolf Era drought, this was better than nothing.

My 13 year old self was devastated when Baekhyun appeared so quiet during Chanyeol's birthday episode, and during a recent rewatch of it, I think realized why.

Baekhyun doesn't like superficial things. It's not that Chanyeol is insincere, but he's just better than Baekhyun is at handling people pleasing, even when he doesn't really mean what's he saying/doing. The Chanyeol birthday episode was heavily centered on Chanyeol's random admiration for Kai, which I think we can all agree that it was a little bit scripted or a really spur of the moment thing that they just ran along with and oh man. Baekhyun did not want to be part of it.

During ChanKai's hug, this is what he looked like on the background, and the poor boy even refused to eat cake. He's just in the back, which is weird, because he's such a talkative person and Chanyeol is one of his closest friends. The only moment where he seems to be genuinely comfortable is when Chanyeol blows the candle and it's really cute. To me, it seems that he was kind of embarrassed to witness so much acting from everyone else and was unable to participate because he struggles with things like this, but the moment Chanyeol blows his candles to comemorate his birthday seems sincere enough for him to fondly smile.

This ties in so well with everything from Mama Era. He's just unable to keep acting/people pleasing on the same easy way that Chanyeol does, but this time he's not as nervous about it as he was on his earlier-early days, where he probably felt pressured to actually do stuff. Now he just doesn't do **it, he just doesn't do something that he dislikes doing, and that sadly creates a distance between them on camera and probably on a deeper level in their relationship as well, because both are just realizing how different their perceptions over their jobs is.

There's also this moment that the mods on lets-talk-baekyeol pointed out.

On the Christmas episode, when the members leave the couch to go get their presents, Chanyeol stays seated while Baekhyun gets up to fetch his. This is the sitting arrangement before (almost) everyone got up:

But when Baekhyun comes back, there's free space next to Chanyeol, however he's hesitant to sit by his side. He actually hesitates and doesn't sit down. Jongdae even gives him a little push right after.

Baek just seems hesitant to do things on camera, to interact with Chanyeol in front of an audience. For this moment, I feel like he's afraid to sit next to Chanyeol and end up having to over act. It's not that Chanyeol himself makes him uncomfortable, but the image of the friendship that they ended up creating for fans demands a lot from him.

And when I say hesitant to do things on camera, I really do mean it, because when Baekhyun thinks he is not being recorded/seen, here's what he does:

Here and here.

Their relationship clearly changed, and I think the reason for it is actually simple: both of them were under the impression that they were compatible with each other when they actually were not. Their personalities are extremely different, even if the way they present themselves is sometimes similar. Wolf and Growl era was our way, as fans, of watching them navigate around each other and finding out how their relationship was supposed to work.

And you know what's nice about that? The members watched all of it unfold. Their reactions to some of ChanBaek's interaction is a gold mine when it comes to analyzing them, because they clearly know, just as we do, that their relationship is kind of complicated. But I want to talk about it on the next part.

I am sorry for cutting this off again! I don't know if the next part is going to be the last, because after Growl there's Overdose and we all know what happened on 2014 [coughs] dating scandal [coughs] god help me I don't want to talk about it [coughs] so there's a lot to uncover and I need time to organize stuff.

Thank you for reading!

[curryaboo]

— hiii! i was tagged by @banglatown @bengayli @jentlemahae @chameli aaand @/minteas to do this “get to know me better/20 questions” tag!! thank u so much beauts!! <3<3<3<3<3

🪁 what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

rao is absolutely fine!! <33

🪁 when is your birthday?

oct 13 :) i share it with some,, prominent people in popular culture and politics which aren’t rlly MY personal faves but wtvr it just goes to prove i’m the superior oct 13 baby !

🪁 where do you live?

the uk :<

🪁 three things you’re doing right now?

answering these questions, sorting out some spotify playlists in between answering these questions & casting my eyes between lines of james acaster’s classic scrapes and my phone (sunny @/amarakaran mentioned the book on one of her tag games n very kindly gave me the link to it and i jumped str8 to reading it! u know you’ve watched too many things featuring james acaster when u now read his book in his exact voice :/)

🪁 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

bbc ghosts (ppl have some amazing theories n opinions surrounding it but i would not advise looking up the tag on here and sorting thru recent god bless youse but there are some awful takes there) aaand idk ig a range of kpop groups but i don’t rlly participate in the fandom sides of things anymore (and i’m not consuming a lot of new media or at least keeping up to date with the media that i do to label myself as being interested in being part of the fandom)

🪁 how is the pandemic treating you?

icl now that i’m seeing it in retrospect, it’s been cruel in the sense that it’s taken a lot of important things away from me (my last two years of high school for example i’m rlly bummed abt that) & stunted me in some ways but regardless i’ve learnt a lot about myself and my friends & family and yeah i’ve learnt to cherish myself and my loved ones all the same :)

🪁 song you can’t stop listening to right now?

boy am i glad this question is here bc since yesterday ? maybe i’ve been listening to gal mitthi mitthi endlesslyyy i think my brain chemicals recognise that we haven’t been to a wedding for the past 2 summers so it tries to fill the void by fixating on this one wedding-y song 💔💔

🪁 recommend a movie

PLS if u haven’t already , pls watch assassination nation bc i need someone to begrudgingly revel with in the absolute shit show pisstake of a movie that this is . (as a side note: my soul will not know peace until kennie jd does a video on it) on a more serious side, english vinglish is one of my most favourite films 10000/10 recommend pls go see it if u haven’t it’s an absolute warm hug of a movie <3

🪁 how old are you?

18 :)

🪁 school, university, occupation, other?

gap year babieee my soul is just wondering the place rn

🪁 do you prefer hot or cold?

cold !!

🪁 name one fact others may not know about you.

uhmm i lived in bangladesh for about 9-10 months when i was abt 4 and it was so amazing i miss it very much :’]

🪁 are you shy?

yes quite shy :} but i will always put effort into getting to know someone or initiating a convo !!

🪁 do you have any preferred pronouns?

i was in turmoil over them rlly but she/they is what i’m comfy with rn ! :D

🪁 any pet peeves?

other than some obvious ones, when ppl open things like crisps packets upside down,, that disgusts me truly

🪁 what’s your favourite “dere” type?

i would be a liar if i said i wasn’t biased towards a good bakadere but not too much that it annoys me lmao

🪁 rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

hmm rn it’s maybe a 5?? i’m grateful for so many things but there is def a lot of room for improvement :] (actually i just got on a 3 month free trial for spotify today so that just bumped the 5 up to a 6 😌)

🪁 what’s your main blog?

this one right here jaanoo.tumblr.com !!

🪁 list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

i don’t have any but i’ve been thinking of making one for aesthetics or like future references ??

🪁 is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

uhmm again i am quite shy teehee™️ imo there’s a noticeable difference between when we were yk just friendly towards each other vs when we actually become friends and i’m more comfortable with u . that’s not to say that i was being fake in the earlier instances of u knowing me, i was just a lot more reserved :) i’m also one of those *is online 24/7 but gets virtual interaction burnout every 2 hours so postpones replying to ur message to 3 days later* which sucks skfjdsj but yeah if there was anything that i’d need to know about YOU it’d be if u had any dietary requirements bc i love baking for my friends <333

ok now i’m gonna embarrass myself more than i already have & tag a lot of ppl bc i’m super nosey like that and want to know my mutuals’ answers to these 🥸 ofc u can absolutely ignore this and not want to do it we’re not under any contractual binding here <33 @allenoraaa @okhag @watermlon @gayanese @letteredwingsmain @theropoda @holyself @txtzy @creatures2010 @junqhwans @mistblush @snsdyuri @waterz @derelicthousefootage @killuaology @staycverse @amarakaran @tendermachines @shahrukh-khan @peachysara @firesigns @postmoderncaricatures @horrormanga @iqraars @123dream @sunmisbf @avisachi @bengaligirlfriend @morksuns @czennie-on-top @markvibes @joppin @nyuly @shin-jiyoon @99lover @mithaai @chamelis @thefinalgirlz @nikolailantsovswifey @mehendi @yerification @oneustual @singinginthecar @yejiswife @lovedsoup @mangopickled and uhh tumblr’s not letting me annoy tag anymore ppl so if u wanna do this and ur not on the list (ur in my heart 💕 and in an ideal world where tumblr automatically tags all my mutuals 😑) u can say i tagged u if you’d like!! ^_^