#and thank goodness i’ve stuck it out lol like i have made a lot of bad decisions in the name of hypmic lmao

[ijenoyou]

Ojos lindos.

Joaquín Torres x StarkF!Reader

WARNINGS: none rlly i think it’s just some nice fluff strangers to friends :3

note: helllowwwww it’s been a while since i’ve written sum for marvel lol anywayssss i rlly enjoyed the new cap movie!! and def did enjoy danny ramirez as the new falcon :3 so yeah i hope yall like this ohhh and if i like this storyline enough i’ll probably make it into a series ;) OH also the reader is supposed to be iron heart !!

Since Sam needed a new team for the Avengers the very first person that came to his mind, aside from Joaquín, was you. You definitely had Tony Stark’s brilliant mind and that helped you build your own suit not wanting to use the one your father made you while you were stuck in the Blip.

And Sam needs someone like that, smart, strong and brave. So when you offered to help him rebuild the team he was more than happy that you did. And he even was more happier to the fact that he got to see you. Since the passing of Tony Stark you disappeared leaving him with the wonder of where you went.

But you had to. Thanos had blasted you with the power of all the stones the moment he saw you get ahold of the gauntlet not knowing that the mixture of the power would cause your body to absorbe it.

So you had new powers, one’s that are quite hard to control, so you did what was safe to the people you care for which was disappear.

But now all was good, your powers are more than safe to use now that you know your way around them. And when Sam found out about the things you could do he knew in his heart he should take you under his wing just like he did with Joaquín Torres.

“She told we could have any room we want.” Sam told Joaquín when they arrived to the old Avengers base.

The both of them grabbed their own baggage and began walking inside the building.

Joaquín’s eyes were shining like crazy. He always thought being an Avenger wasn’t something in his path.

“Uncle Sam!” You said as soon as you saw them walking to the area that had all the old rooms the old team used. You arrived earlier since you wanted to clean up the area for the new arrivals.

Sam smiled and left his things on the floor, he then extended his arms signaling for you to hug him. Since you were quite far holding a broom you decided to teleport.

Joaquín hadn’t seen something like that. The pink glow that appeared in front of him when you appeared of the blue was something that surprised him and it made him lift the right corner of his lip, amused to the fact you were clearly too lazy to walk a few steps to greet Sam.

“So, this is my new child, also known as the new Falcon, Joaquín Torres.” Sam said while grabbing Joaquín’s shoulder.

Your eyes traveled towards him and smiled. You looked different from what he was used to. One of your eyes had a pink glow and the other didn’t, he tried not to let his thoughts show on his face after seeing your new appearance.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sam’s been talking a lot about you since we were on our way.” Joaquín said while reaching his hand out for you to shake. “I’m a big fan of your work, I was a volunteer on the charity you created a few months ago.”

Your smile became even bigger at the mention of the charity you created in honor of the fallen Avengers.

“Really? Thank you so much! I thought I recognized your face from somewhere else.” You said with a sweet tone. “People usually tell me about my father’s work and not mine so thank you, really.” You shook his hand.

Warm.

That’s what he felt inside him when he touched you. He noticed how small your hand was compared to his and how soft your skin felt against his calloused palm.

The both of you didn’t notice how Sam walked out the scene and began searching for a specific room. He wanted the one Steve used since he heard amazing stories about the incredible shower head pressure.

“Want help finding a room?” You said while taking one of this bags from the floor.

“Oh don’t worry I’ll take it!” He tried to take the bag from you.

Too late. You had already teleported a few feet away from him with a playful smile.

“Come! I think you might like this room.”

He smiled and nodded.

He walked behind you for a few moments when you stopped in front of a door that had the number 10 on it. You pushed a few numbers on the pad that was next to the door and the door opened by sliding.

“This one used to be one of my favorite rooms. “ You said with a soft tone.

You left Joaquín’s bag on an old chair and turned to him with your hand on your hips.

“You like it? The view here is amazing, my favorite out of all the rooms.”

He couldn’t believe his eyes. This room had a perfect view to the forest that connected to the base, he couldn’t help but notice how big the room is. Way bigger than he ever imagined with huge windows and a balcony that already had some furniture on it.

“I really do.” He left his things on the floor next to the old chair and walked to stand next to you. Admiring the view.

“My father built quite a lot of rooms for everyone.” You said. “He wanted everyone living under the same roof.” You smiled at the memory of the old team fighting to get the nicest rooms over the base.

Joaquín turned to see you.

You not noticing that he much preferred to have you as the increíble view you mentioned instead of the forest.

“Que ojos tan lindos.” He didn’t realized what he said until you turned towards him with a lifted eyebrow and small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

“You think? I’m still getting used to the new color but it’s quite cool.” He didn’t know you understood spanish. A blush began spreading to his face and his right hand scratched the back of his neck with a bashful smile.

“Sorry I just..” He tried to speak but being caught red handed specially by you made him lose control of his words.

“It’s fine!” Your shoulder pushed his. “I don’t mind people looking at my eye, I mean, the staring was bound to happen.” You explained and began walking away from him. “I’ll let you get settled okay? Dinner’s at 8! I’m cooking enchiladas, hope that’s okay.”

Joaquín nodded. “I love enchiladas.” You gave him a thumbs up and walked out the room.

He turned again and stared at the windows for a few seconds until he registered what you said about the staring. He quickly turned on his heel and sprinted to the hall. “For the record I wasn’t staring at your eye! I was just admiring them!” He shouted for you to hear.

A big laugh was all he hear from down the hall. He smiled and turned which caused him to have a mini heart attack at the sight of Sam behind him.

“Dude! Make some noise the next time you stand behind me.” Joaquín said while putting a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat at a fast pace.

Sam made a face at him. That damn look Sam had almost all of the time when he found something cheeky. Like he knew a secret about you.

“You and little Stark became friends really fast uh?” Was all he said while crossing his arms over his chest.

[ ]

A plate of enchiladas appeared in front of Joaquín and Sam’s eyes.

“Here you go!” You said while sitting in front of them at the aisle of the kitchen instead of the big dinning room. You had said it felt way bigger with just the three of you, but Sam reassured you that with time and effort that would soon change.

“So, do you know when Bucky’s coming?” Sam asked while cutting his enchiladas.

You nodded, your hand reaching for a napkin. “Yes! He told me he’s coming next week after he visits the wakandians for a new update on his arm.” You explained after taking a big gulp of your iced coca cola. “He’s been staying up here with me for a while so his room is already set up.”

That caught Joaquín’s full attention and Sam noticed. Sam decided to play a little game with the knowledge he now has. His new child had a crush on little Stark. Oh my, how small the world is.

“Really? And what do you guys do? I’m assuming is just the two of you.” Sam told you with a cheeky sneer.

Your cheeks became flushed and that made Joaquín furrow his eyebrows, just a little.

“Well we just spend time next to one another you know? Sometimes I’ll be reading and he would be sitting next to me while he learns how to share a TikTok.” You explained with your eyes locked on your food.

Sam lifted an eyebrows and began asking more things to get a rise out of Joaquín. “How nice of him, right Joaquín?” Sam elbowed him causing him to cough.

“Oh? Yeah…”

“He doesn’t stay a lot.” You explained sensing the weird tension in the air. “He sometimes comes when I tell him I miss my father.”

The strings of Joaquín’s heart were pulled. He couldn’t imagine what you felt. From what Sam told him, it was just you and Tony Stark. He then met Pepper and became partners but for a while it was just the two of you, against everything.

He knew your father was your rock, he was all you had since your mother died while giving birth, the doctors not noticing she was having an internal bleeding causing her to slip away without too much fuss. The info being shared by Sam.

“But now, you two are here so I won’t be feeling as lonely as before.” Sam nodded as the same time Joaquín did.

After dinner Sam had to take a call from the White House, leaving you with Joaquín to wash all of the dirty dishes you used.

It was nice. Joaquín felt a cozy vibe coming from the moment, soft jazz music playing on the background, you next to him drying the plates with a cloth he would give you after he scrubbed them.

“I totally think he faked that call because he didn’t want to help wash the dishes.” You said playfully.

A laughed erupted from Joaquín’s chest and nodded. “For sure! I mean did you see the look he gave us when he stood up?”

Now it was your time to laugh. “That damn look he has! It’s like he knows something about you, isn’t it?” The both of you exploded of laughter. Making fun of Sam was one of your favorite hobbies now that he was more present in your life.

“Thank you for the compliment by the way.” He heard you say while putting the last plate on its designated place. “Yo también pienso que tienes unos ojos muy lindos.”

He almost choked when he heard those words coming past your lips.

“I didn’t know you spoke spanish.” He explained bashful.

“Tony made me learn quite a handful of languages when I was a kid.” You told him. “Spanish was my favorite by far, I think it’s a very romantic language, don’t you think?”

“It sure is.” Was all he said while turning his body to you.

The both of you didn’t notice how close your bodies were. He could feel the warmth coming from your body, that’s how close he was to you. He could see with clear perfection every lash and every beauty mark on your face. His eyes stopping their path on yours. Joaquín could see the pink glow with perfection and it felt like time stopped.

He wasn’t attracted to your eyes just because of the pink color but because he felt really seen under your gaze. It felt like you were going under every inch and corner of his mind, leaving your mark in it.

And you felt the same thing.

“I-I think it’s quite late, isn’t it?” Your voice brought him back to reality.

He stepped back, instantly missing the warmth of your body. He cleared his throat and sighed.

“Oh right.” He spoke. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

Your lips curled and nodded. “Of course.” Your voice came out almost as a whisper. “I’m off to sleep, if you need anything my room is next to yours actually.”

He bit his bottom lip and smiled. “Okay then, sleep well mini Stark.” That damned nickname Thor gave you years ago made your skin tickle. A funny feeling forming inside your chest.

**

Que ojos tan lindos - what beautiful eyes

Yo también pienso que tienes unos ojos muy lindos - I also think you have beautiful eyes

[akkivee]

HAPPY 7 YEARS OF HYPMIC EVERYONE 🎰🥳🎰🥳🎰🥳

to celebrate, i’m just going to list seven moments hypmic irrevocably changed the trajectory of my entire life lmao

1️⃣ buying the lives was probably the best worst thing i could have ever done to myself lmao. by the time i’d realised you could buy them, only the 2nd&3rd lives were out on dvd (they’re bundled together on one set), and though it wasn’t the first hypmic purchase i made, it kicked off the lives obsession lol. the 2nd live in particular blew my mind lol it was the first time most of the cast were on stage for hypmic and i’ll never forget the happy surprise on kijima-san’s face when the crowd screamed along to his call and response parts in drb lol. on top of that, kimura beatboxed live on stage confirming it really was ichiro beatboxing, shiraimu and nozu in lieu of souma-san’s absence gave it their all singing his parts and nozu dropped the sickest freestyle, and the samajuto cigarette kiss was born and so thoroughly rewired everyone’s brains, it just became part of samatoki’s character lmao

2️⃣ this list very easily can be just about the lives lol but i also loved getting to watch them live lol. forever and always 🖕🖕corona but getting to sidestep around abema’s booboo dookie region locks to watch the 5th live set off a precedence for needing to live watch them lmao. it’s probably the snowball that kicked off the avalanche that convinced me to try to go to japan for the first time in ten years, give or take, and bat’s 8th live day two was their most special live yet lmao

3️⃣ ITS NOT A LIVE ITS A STREAM LOL but the moment the kuukou brainrot roundhouse kicked me in the face was watching kuukou’s spirit possess hayama-san in real time lol i would have saved myself from so much heartbreak if i had stayed a matenhoe but nooooooo kuukou had to manifest in his seiyuu and i haaaaaad to watch it happen live and now i’m kuukou’s btch 🙄

4️⃣ wanna know how i became a matenrou stan lol???? jakurai’s voice introducing matenrou to the world in drb and hifumi flexing the love his women give to him makes him filthy rich lmao

5️⃣ i’ve felt a lot of frustration whilst mucking about in hypmic land, but i don’t think i have ever experienced as frustrating emotional rollercoaster ride more than the one hypstage has taken me on lmao!!!!! hypmic sneakily changing their description of the franchise from ‘voice project’ to ‘multimedia project’ when it was announced, okay actually showing a fantastic story despite hypmic’s ‘lack’ of one back in the day, nagosaka getting introduced and giving us simultaneously the best and ‘worst’ depiction of kuukou, only exclude them in the following tracks lmaooo, creating a really cool concept for mixing division pairs with an oridivi only for it to get cancelled like genuinely 🖕🖕covid but rolling up with the greatest comeback in the form of the rep lives where in the middle of the run we were given the best kuukou performance yet, shortly followed by the announcement that everyone was graduating!!!!!!!! but bop 2023 was magical; a fantastic send off to a legendary cast and closure to the pinnacle of stage production and hypmic storytelli— the stage was rebooted six months later in an absolute betrayal that was quite literally assuaged my love for hypmic, hatred for nelke and getting REAL WOMEN on stage lmao

6️⃣ and so like lemme circle back around to bat’s 8th live lmao. do you know how crazy that time was lol???? bat stans threw together a really sick flower display at a local flower shop, crowdfunded to make the lights display in this popular mall in nagoya shine purple for them, bars dedicating drinks for bat and welcoming live goers for an after party drink, day two of the live fell on bat’s 3rd anniversary and a few days prior they dropped the bright and dark mv for hypstage and the hella awesome banquet mv that bat stans ripped to shreds analysing jp bat fans my BELOVED lmao november is truly a bat month lol but anyway the 8th live was a peak time and i miss it daily!!!!!!!!

7️⃣ instead of being really gross and sappy about kuukou or the piece of merch that got me into hypmic lol shoutout to the music like actually lol. dba locked me in the moment i listened to it and i think very fondly of those days going thru the youtube for more lol. gave me a refreshed appreciation for music, esp jp music, got me to listen to more music instead of the couple hundred or so songs i’ve been listening to since i was in middle school LOL. so thanks hypmic, for giving me peak dissociation songs (like tigridia), the hypest shit that had me yelling (like moonlight shadow) and songs that had my heart racing at 3 in the morning and thoroughly unable to sleep lol (can you believe kaigen exists in this world and they let that shit drop during bat vs mtr 6th live and bc the bat seiyuu’s stage presence is just top tier they blew it out of the park frame one and she says the brainrot didn’t truly settle until live watching hayama-san get possessed but the damage was truly done listening to that calced cacophony of noise and in the ensuing silence as hayama-san’s ‘kaigen’ echoed throughout the studio OH IM GOING TO BE SICK—)

[bergandysam]

Kim Seokjin Fic Recs

‼️18+ minors DNI, if you choose to anyways, PLEASE be careful. try to heed our warnings, we have them for a reason‼️

More Recs Here

he’s insanely good looking your honour

[not in any particular order] [if any users would like me to remove their post from this list please let me know and i will do so immediately!]

thank you daddy @ktheist 19k

sugar daddy!seokjin, WHEEWWW, small angst, hella smut tho LOLL, 9 YEAR AGE GAP!, they’re both horny fucks,

fast lane @yminie 20.6k

racer!seokjin, enemies2lovers, angst, smut !!!!!short depictions of car accidents!!!!!, jin is a PLAYA, reader really hates his guts LOLL

cherry topper @kth1 17.6k

friends2lovers, longtime pining, college!au, reader works at his family’s candy shop :)) fluff, angst, SMUT, reader is dense as hell LOLL

every year @another-army-spot 15.6k

childhood bff2L, chef!seokjin, a yearly new year’s eve party!!, hard fluff, smutty angst, they both grew up hella rich.

final sleigh @floralseokjin 23.3k

coworkers, e2l, reader very much hates seokjin LOLLL, forced proximity fanfic 🤭🤭 smut, fluff(?), angst in Y/N is petty LMAO, it’s christmas!

stuck with you @taleasnewastime 29.6k

strangers2lovers, reader is grumpy :(, they’re stuck in a city they don’t want to be in, Jin is a raining ball of sunshine, angst, smut, fluff, angst. happy ending :)

MENTIONS OF DEATH!

small tuna fish @floralseokjin 17.1k

college!au, jin is a GOOD nice guy, he’s so jinny, FLUFF x10000, smut too LOL, jin is a cutie, he’s inexperienced, there’s a charity car wash too 🤪

warm this winter @jamaisjoons 51.6k

s2l, this was so cute, jk is such a dumbass, but it’s okay seokjin is here to save the day. fluff, angst, SMUT. it just smacks u in the fuckin face.

lost and found @taleasnewastime 21.2k

s2l, seokjin owns a silly lil shop cuz he’s a silly lil guy, reader was cheated on, fluff, angst, they’re so cute. jimin is there too! oneshot.

you guys don’t understand how fucking much i love this story. i’ve re-read it more times than i can count. i think about this Jin once a week

made up love song @floralseokjin series

dilf!seokjin, teacher!reader, arin is saur cute, angsty :(, but fluffy!!! n very smutty, lots of fluff with arin, seokjins ex >:(

turn back time @raplinesmoon 13.3k

seokjin accidentally fast forwards time, smut, angsty fluff, reader is a doctor, JIN POPS A SEMI 💀💀💀💀

sit. stay. @daechwitatamic 14k

dog owners!!!, they live in the same building, jin just wants to help MC, miscommunication :(, fluff, angst, smut, more fluff. literally. cuz dogs. i love this jinnie sooo much

the ikea test @yoon-bug 9.1k

they’re dating, hoseok was right 💀, reader gets upset with seokjin, jin saves the day!!, and then screws the HELL out of MC, so.. smut, fluff too :)

last november @kithtaehyung 24.7k 😭😭

god. exes2l, angst and um oh more angst, smut, all ends well, they’re on a holiday trip with tha gang.

ryen NEVER misses. masterpiece after masterpiece.

the platonic collection @joheunsaram mini series

FWB2L, MC is kinda… she’s kinda dense LOL, seokjin is a cutie, smut, fluff

off limits @floralseokjin series

brothers best friend!seokjin, they’re hiding :(, FWB2L, angst angst angst, yoongi gets puNCHED, smut, readers brother is overprotective, lil fluff

don’t go baking my heart @candlewaxandp0lar0ids 14.7k

i don’t think u understand i love this seokjin. JK is a cutie, S2L, jinnie owns a bakery and is the master of puns, kinda angsty, fluff, they’re also IDIOTS. lil smut

cupids on holiday @persphonesorchid 17k

cupid!seokjin, fluff, angst :(, smut, E2L?? ily jin. but i HATE U. but ily.

all i don’t want for christmas is you @minisugakoobies 23.7k

coworkers AU!, E2L, crack, fluff, smut, jin has a big… ego.. y’all. Y/N pisses me the hell off, but they’re SO CUTE 😭

glazed and dazed @floralseokjin 30.3k

um. PORNSTAR SEOKJIN. thank you that’s all, jk, seokjin ☹️, obviously smut, but they’re fluffy n cute i promise.

the devil wears armani @floralseokjin 65k series

WHEW this one is a doozy, devil!jin, jimin is there too, very much smut smut smut, angsty, fluffy, seokjin has a soft spot.

like i said at the end of my last fic rec post, if any of you have recommendations for me, please send them through!! my inbox is OPEN and i am always looking for more things to read!!! 🫶🫶

[l3tm31nn0w]

At His Mercy

Mr. Reed (Heretic) x fem reader

You’re a PhD theology student wasting time at religious convention, bored out of your mind until you meet a charismatic older man who shares your interest in religion and blasphemy.

Warnings: p in v sex, religious trauma, age gap (reader is of age, nearly 30), degradation, oral (m and f receiving), overstimulation, wax play, religion used in an erotic way

(I have never written fanfic in my LIFE that’s how down bad I am for this man, forgive me if this is a mess lol)

You walked up to the mediocre coffee station for the third time that morning, preparing to stay awake through another dull lecture. It was day two of the Colorado Theology Conference and you had lost patience halfway through day one. You had hoped for more academic and agnostic speakers, but so far you’d heard nothing but actual Christian pastors and priests rambling on about the state of modern religion. For Christ sakes the keynote speaker was a goddamn prosperity preacher! You had to stay as long as could to please the big wigs at the university, each program had to send a PhD candidate for “professional development” and this was all they could find for religious studies. Lucky you.

As you poured the burnt coffee into your already stained styrofoam cup you glanced around the table trying to spot the little creamer cups to no avail. “Are you fucking kidding me?” You said under your breath, clearly louder than intended. “Well there’s always sugar!” You whipped your head to the direction of the voice, fearing youd get scolded by some pastor for daring to curse. The voice, a posh British accent that felt out of place in this cursed convention center, belonged to a middle aged man. He had a kind smile that reached his blue eyes effortlessly. He produced three small sugar packets and handed them to you. “I wish I could drink it black but I can’t handle the bitterness.” He chuckled as you mixed the packets into your cup. You smiled back at him and squinted to read his name tag, delighted that pastor was missing from his name. “Thank you Mr. Reed, I’m just glad to see a man that’s not a preacher in this room.”

His eyes traveled across your body and you almost called him out but he spoke before you could say anything. “I take it you’re not a woman of the cloth yourself, I hate to judge a book by its cover but I doubt many Christian churches would want that on display.” He pointed to the tattoo on your sternum. You giggled and relaxed, realizing he hadn’t been in ogling you, he’d simply been looking at your tattoo. He was the first person this weekend to look at it and smile, most had sneered at you once they realized what it depicted, not that any of them really knew beyond thinking it was a demon. “I know it’s not a good look for an old man like myself to be staring at a young ladies chest, but indulge me” his posh voice lowered with the last words and you felt yourself growing unexpectedly warm. “That fellow there” he said point towards collarbone “is Asmodeus, yes?” You looked up at him, realizing how handsome he really was up close. He had a classic attractiveness to him that no doubt made him popular when he was younger, but there was a bookish innocence to him even at his older age that drew you in. His instant recognition of the demon on your chest must’ve made you visibly light up because he beamed a smile right back at you. “You’re the first person to actually know who he is this entire weekend! I’ve gotten lots of comments but I’m sure you can imagine they were less than kind based on the crowd we have here.” He raised his eyebrows and nodded, enthusiastically agreeing with you about the overly zealous convention goers.

Relieved to have met someone with a more academic background you blurted out “I’m Y/N! Please sit with me during the next lecture? I think I’ll die if I’m stuck sitting between anymore church moms or worship leaders.” He smiled again, making the crows feet surrounding his blue eyes wrinkle up. “Absolutely Y/N, but only if we can sit in the back and whisper nasty jokes about whatever nonsense is being said on stage.” You laughed, a genuine laugh, and began walking towards the ballroom where the next lecture was taking place.

“So what brings you here Mr. Reed? You must be an academic if you’re not a Bible thumper like all these people. Forgive me for judging a book by its cover as well, but you must be a professor?” He certainly looked like one with autumnal colored cardigan, grey slacks and large clear rimmed glasses. “Oh goodness no, you flatter me! I’m just an old man with an interest in religion. I’ve been studying it for decades at this point. I’ve been to quite a few of these things, but usually they’re filled with academics not religious nuts. I think this one was advertised a bit incorrectly. I’m guessing you’re on your way to being a professor though?” He quiered back at you. “Yes, I’m getting my PhD in religious studies. I’ve been into religion as long as I can remember as well, I guess not as long as you. Oh god sorry that was rude!” You blushed a bright red realizing you’d called Mr. Reed old. He simply laughed and said “Darling don’t apologize for having eyes, I’ve clearly got a few decades on you! You must be what? 30 at most?” The blush from early only deepened at the pet name. Attempting to gain composure you coughed and replied “30 in April!” “Trust me, I’m ancient history compared to you.”

The two of you settled into the back row of the ballroom and you nodded toward the speaker, a Baptist minister who looked like he’d been alive during the crucifixion. You lowered your voice to a whisper “well not as ancient as HIM.” Mr. Reed stifled his laughter, a challenge you both attempted and mostly failed as you whispered back and forth for the next hour.

After the lecture the two of you slinked out the back worried you’d get a talking to for being too loud during the lecture. You looked at the paper schedule from your pocket and sighed “the damn keynote is next. I don’t think I can handle that grifter.” Mr. Reed grimaced in agreement. He looked down at his watch and then up at you. “Would you allow me to take you lunch darling?” There was the pet name again and with it came a flush in your cheeks. You chewed your lip, deliberating it. You were supposed to sit through the scheduled lectures and bring back notes for your thesis team, a way to prove the university’s investment in professional development wasn’t wasted even though it most certainly was in this instance. You looked up at Mr. Reed, studying his expression. You wanted to know more about this mysterious religious enthusiast full of dirty jokes who got excited by demons. Surely he had stories that would be more impactful than that prosperity preacher! You lied to yourself saying it was purely academic when in reality the heat pooling in your stomach was getting hard to ignore. You’d always fancied older men, but until now it was always talk. Always a day dream. Here was a handsome older gentleman who had a lot in common with you who was seemingly flirting without being creepy. You couldn’t let this chance pass. “It would be my pleasure! Let’s get out of here.” Your new companion’s face lit up and he guided you out the door of the convention hall. “Don’t laugh at how cliche this is, but there’s a rather good English pub down the road how does that sound?” You tightened your scarf around your face and nodded, a slight giggle escaping at that suggestion coming from the posh accent.

After a couple of blocks you’d reached your destination and settled into a booth at the back of the dark, cozy pub. “Can I ask a personal question that may be slightly uncomfortable?” Mr. Reed posited. You were becoming slightly infatuated and really had nothing to lose at this point. “I’m an open book, ask away!” “What is your reasoning for getting our good friend asmodeus etched upon your lovely collarbone? I know you’re far too smart for the standard answer of “he looks neat.”” You knew this would be coming the second he had recognized the demon on your chest. If you were going here, you wanted to play with him a little. “Well Mr. Reed, I can answer that, but first I need you to tell me what you know about Asmodeus.” Your older companion smiled at you dangerously and began, “Well, he’s present in all the abrahamic religions, usually as a demon king. He’s closely associated with the Angel Raphael. And, forgive me for being so crass, I hope this last reason may have motivated your tattoo: in the late Middle Ages the Malleus Maleficarum posited that he was the demon of lust.” His final word went straight to your core. You were almost dizzy from the rush of endorphins hitting you, sure it was hot that was boldly and blatantly flirting with you, but his knowledge of all the things that interested you the most may have been even sexier to you. You smiled coyly. “It’s your lucky day then Mr. Reed. His association with lust was absolutely the motivating factor.” He grinned at you and gave a look suggesting he wanted you to elaborate. “I was raised Catholic. My parents were all about it, we were constantly volunteering at the church. So at one point in high school me and this friend, Gabe, are put in charge of cleaning out the sensors. One day I walk in and see the parish priest trying to put a move on Gabe and I put myself between them. I tell the creep I’m running straight to the diocese and to my parents to get his ass fired. Well by the time I get home my mother is SCREAMING at me calling me a whore of Babylon, a jezebel. My father won’t look me in the eye. Turns out the creep priest had called my house and told my mom he caught me and Gabe fornicating in the church office and that Gabe told him I let all the other high school altar boys take turns with me. Obviously none of it was true, I was a virgin and Gabe was in the closet, which father creep knew and probably used to get Gabe to fall into line with his story. For the rest of high school I was the Catholic school slut and that came with all the cat calling and groping you can imagine. You’d think that would break my spirits when it came to religion, but it had been with me so long I couldn’t let it go. I didn’t believe the way my family did, but the stories, the imagery it all meant so much to me. So I fuck off at 18 and go to college in a different state for theology. Turns out I’m good at it. I graduate with honors. I get into a top choice masters program. I graduate from that program with honors. I know I’m hot shit and I feel like I’m hot shit and that I’ve come a long long way from being the Catholic school slut so I find the perfect image of Asmodeus and get him smack dab in the middle of my slut chest. Because he’s more than lust, he’s power, he’s danger. It’s a shame though, I spent so much time with my head in a book I never got to live up to my alleged Catholic slut persona.”

The second you finish your story your confidence falters and you feel your cheeks flush. You cannot believe you just shared all that with this man you’ve only known for a few hours. Mr. Reed broke the silence by quietly saying “You’re extraordinary.” You could tell he was being sincere and it made your heart beat faster. If he kept this up your old reputation may come true. “Well now you know my edgy religious trauma backstory, let’s hear yours!” He chuckled. “Well I can’t say I was ever accused of being the town harlot, though I don’t think I’d fit that part visually anyway.” You rolled your eyes at him, sick of his subtle self deprecation. He had to know he was handsome. Sure, he was old enough to be your father, but his age suited his features. The lines around his mouth and eyes came to life when he smiled. His greying hair was touseled in that messily attractive sort of way. The large glasses that sat in his face added to the sexy professor vibe he gave off. “Honestly I’ve got no tragic backstory. I’ve just craved the connection to a higher power since as long as I can remember. I wasn’t raised religious so as soon as I could read I started searching for the one true god. There’s so many religions is exhausting. Each of them have their own special qualities, but there was always something that let me down. I learned literally as much as I could. I’ve collected so many books and artifacts that my house looks like a damned theology museum. Then I found it. After my years and years and years of searching. I found the one true religion, the one true god.” He said those final words very seriously which contrasted greatly with his general quirky demeanor. You let out a little gasp. “So you’re not agnostic or an atheist then? I just assumed the way we were talking with each other you were agnostic like me!” “I was the picture of agnosticism for many many years. I don’t know what my discovery makes me. There’s no way to describe it.” Ok, now you were a little nervous. Was the handsome academic before you secretly a cult freak? He clearly sensed your discomfort and lightened the mood. “Enough of that though, you’re not some religious nut who needs to be convinced. I respect a solid agnostic. It’s good to be open to anything.” You smiled back at him, feeling just a bit more at ease.

You continued to chat about yourselves and various religious facts and oddities as you ate. Eventually you exited the restaurant and realized how long you’d been lost in conversation. The sun had begun to set and you weren’t quite ready to leave your new companion. His assertion of knowing the one true religion wouldn’t leave your mind. An old building across the road caught your eye. You looked over to Mr. Reed, his nose starting to flush pink with the cold. “Humor me?” You said as you stuck your gloved hand out to him. He smiled and placed his much larger hand in yours. You pulled him across the road and into the old stone building, a rundown yet still beautiful Catholic Church.

Despite your distaste for your family and your upbringing, you always felt a warmth and a comfort inside a Catholic Church. This one was small, but still had all the hallmarks of a cathedral: stained glass, wooden carvings of the stations of the cross, a giant crucifix of Christ in all his gory glory dead center of the aisle. You always found that there was a certain blasphemous sensuality in the depictions of Christ. Maybe you weren’t beating the Catholic slut allegations after all.

As you guided Mr. Reed into the church you paused to anoint yourself with holy water, old habits die hard after all. He skipped the water but followed you as you trailed around the church, your eyes on the architecture and decor, his eyes never leaving you. You finally settled into a few towards the front near the donation candles. The two of you were the only occupants and you closed your eyes, savoring the moment. Eyes still closed, you rested your hand on his and whispered “Thank you for seeing me. Nobody has ever seen me the way that you have.” You were met with silence, but his larger hand covered yours. After a continued moment of silence you opened your eyes and turned to him. “Please. What is this one true religion you believe so much in? I have to know. I can’t fathom parting ways and never knowing.” He looked at you very seriously. “Are you sure you want to know?” “Please.” You whispered desperately. “Ok, then close your eyes again.” He said in a hushed tone. You did as you were told and you felt him brush a strand of hair behind your ear. He leaned in close enough that you could feel his lips graze your ear and whispered “Control.”

Your entire body felt as if it was engulfed in flames. You squeezed the hand that still remained in your grasp and your eyes fluttered open. His gaze was hungry. You stared directly at him and said, louder than any of your previous conversation in the church, “Mr. Reed I think I’d like you to take me to see that theology museum you mentioned earlier.” “Of course darling.” In stark contrast to the way you had lazily lead him by his hand into the church, he quickly lead you out with his hand pressed firmly onto the small of your back. The old woman working the volunteer desk shot the two of you a puzzled look, she had no doubt assumed you were father and daughter until she saw the way his hand rested just above your ass.

He whisked you back to the convention hall parking lot and opened his car door for you, ever the gentleman. He had asked if you’d driven to the convention and if you wanted to drive separate, but you had ubered from your modest student housing. The two of you continued to make conversation as you had all evening, Mr. Reed even mentioning specific artifacts he would show you when you arrived at his house. Despite this the sexual tension was thick and heavy in his small sedan. A small part of you was screaming to yourself that this was insane and reckless, going to a second location with a man you just met today. But you had secretly wanted your day to end this way nearly the second you met him. His course whisper of the word control had sent you over the edge. All you do is think and decide and it gets so fucking exhausting. The idea of turning yourself over to him to do with you as he liked was just too good to pass up.

He pulled up to his house and opened up the car door, leading you into his house. You couldn’t help but smile as you walked in. It was adorable. It had the soft welcoming quality of a grandparents house. You wouldn’t dare say this aloud for fear of making him self conscious about his age. “Oh Mr. Reed your house is lovely! It’s so cozy!” You exclaimed. He smiled at you and then noticed you were shivering. “Cup of tea to warm you through?” He asked. You nodded and he disappeared into the kitchen. You settled onto a couch and before long he returned with two cups of tea. As he handed you yours his fingers brushed your hand for an extended moment and it sent shocks through you. Much to your embarrassment he noticed and winked. You drank your tea and continued to talk aimlessly until finally he said “Would you like to see some of my collection?” You nodded enthusiastically. Sure, “seeing his theology museum” was a ploy for him to take you home and fuck you senseless, but you also were dying to see his collection and he knew it.

He grabbed your hand and guided you down a dimly lit hallway into a large office. It was chock full of books, artifacts and paintings. You could’ve lost hours in here. He had things from just about every religion you’d ever heard of, there were probably a ton that you had no clue about. He let you wander around for a moment then retreated into a corner, returning with an intricate crucifix. “I think you’ll love this one, I saw how you looked at the one at the church.” He handed it over to you and you brought it close to your face to inspect the detailed paint job. It was a wooden carving, probably late medieval or early northern renaissance. The paint had faded, but the details of Christ’s wounds still shone a bright red. You rubbed your finger absentmindedly up the naked torso of the figurine and you felt Mr. Reed’s breath on your neck. “I watched you look upon the lord in that church and could tell your thoughts weren’t so holy. Is that your grand rebellion against your upbringing? Fantasizing about fucking Jesus?” You whipped around and faced him, your lips nearly touching. His pale eyes bore into you and for the first time this evening you were genuinely speechless. That serious, almost scathing tone from back at the church had returned. “How many times have you sat up late at night and touched yourself looking at him while you study? Do your droll professors know you’re soaking through your panties when they’re running through their slides?” Your face had to be deep red at this point and he was clearly relishing in your embarrassment. “When was the last time you got fucked y/n?” You looked away from him and that was all the answer he needed. “At what point today did you start imagining me fucking you?” He asked smugly. You thought back, trying to pinpoint the exact moment your thoughts turned to sin. “When you pointed out my tattoo. I thought you were checking me out, but realized you were genuinely curious about the tattoo. You knew what he was.” His eyebrow raised, seemingly pleased and shocked at your answer. “I thought you were handsome from the moment you handed me the sugar packets, I have eyes after all, but your intelligence is what sent a fire through me.”

You felt brave and brought your hands up to his hair, rifling your fingers through his soft greying locks. He closed his eyes and hummed an approval. After you broke the seal by touching him, he finally placed his hands around your waist and pulled you towards him, your chests flushed against each other. Your lips were barely grazing when he whispered

“Behold, you are beautiful, my love;

    behold, you are beautiful;

    your eyes are doves.”

Who was this man? One second he’s degrading you, the next he’s holding you tenderly quoting the Song of Solomon.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he broke the small gap and kissed you. It was a a chaste kiss, perhaps revealing he simply talked a big game and he himself hadn’t had a lover in some time. That was fine by you, there was something alluring about breaking him in. You went in for another kiss, hotter and heavier than his, your hands gripping his scalp, a moan building in the back of your throat. You broke the kiss and began placing kisses across his face and neck, settling in to craft a hickey on his right side. You left his neck with a pop, satisfied by the red mark left behind. You whispered into his ear “and when was the last time you fucked, Mr. Reed?” He brought his hands up to your face, pulling it to look him in the eye. “I must confess darling it’s been quite a minute. Once you reach my age the options slim out. I’m also not one to just stick my cock in whatever makes itself available. You, my dear, are special. And if you’ll let me, I can show you that while it may have been awhile for me, I promise you I’m not out of practice.” You answered him with another kiss. He smiled and released you, causing you to frown at the lack of contact.

“Give me just one second!” He called back to you as he began running around his office. He began putting together what you could only describe as a nest in the middle of the floor laying blankets and pillows around. He grabbed your hand and guided you to the floor. “Now darling, will you let me show you how a man treats a lady? I doubt those piddly little boys you’ve messed around with had a clue how to make your body sing.” His words went straight to your core. The idea of an age gap alone always turned you on, the allure of an experienced, tender older man who knew how to treat a lady. You let him lay you down and said “I’m at your mercy now Mr. Reed.”

He lay next to you and resumed kissing you passionately. As he slipped his tongue into your mouth he began slipping his hand under your sweater. “What a good Catholic slut you are!” He mused, pinching one of your nipples. You rarely ever wore a bra, especially under your thick winter sweaters. You let out a soft moan in response. He massaged your breast further and you stifled another moan. “Darling it’s just us, you can do better than that. “O come, let us sing to the LORD; let us make a joyful noise”” He tweaked your nipple at the end of the quote and you moaned deeply, both at the stimulation and the persevere use of a psalm. He pulled your sweater off leaving your chest bare, the cold air hardening your nipples. He wasted no time taking one into his mouth, licking and sucking while he stimulated the other with his hand. It was all going straight to your core, you needed him to touch you where it mattered.

“Please” you huffed out. He brought his face close to yours and asked “Please what? You’re a big girl use your words.” Your face flushed, suddenly feeling a wave of embarrassment. You were never one to talk dirty or ask for specifics when you had sex, you always worried it would kill the mood. Deep down you knew this was part of the turn on for him though so you managed to sputter out “Please play with my pussy. I need it, I need it so bad it hurts.” He places a kiss on your forehead and replied “what a good girl using her words. How I could I ever deny you.” Despite the slight condescending tone, the use of “good girl” made you moan. He would remember this.

He brought his hand down to your jeans and rubbed through the thick material. It did practically nothing and you knew this was just another ploy for you to beg him using your words. “Mr. Reed please please touch me bare, please I need your fingers.” He smiled and began sliding your jeans off. He chuckled when he got to your underwear. “Listen I didn’t imagine I’d be getting lucky at the religious convention!” You squeaked out hiding your face. You’d absentmindedly thrown on a pair of boy short style underwear patterned with French fries. “Is it too forward to say suddenly I’m craving a McDonald’s?” You playfully kicked his leg and you both chuckled. “I would never allow a poor old man to starve.” You replied faux dramatically.

As he went to pull down your underwear he exclaimed “my god, am I this powerful? These are sopping wet.” It was true, he’d been turning you on for hours at this point and by the time you’d made it back to his little chapel your underwear was so wet it almost felt like you’d had an accident. “Then do something about it!” You huffed. He pulled the garment down your legs and you were finally laid bare before him. You had no clothes on and he had everything still on, down to the grandpa cardigan. Laid out in his office decorated like a church you felt like a sacrifice. That only turned you on more.

He pulled your legs apart as wide as they could go and gazed up your sex. Despite his academic cool guy demeanor, you were really beginning to see just how turned on he was. His face was flushed, his hands trembled slightly as they gripped your thighs. His erection was straining through his trousers, clearly large enough for you to have plenty of fun with later. He moved his hands from your thighs to your vulva and spread you open, sighing lustfully as he did. He took an index finger and rimmed it around your entrance, gathering your juices before bringing his finger in lazy circles around your clit. You moaned, a deep guttural moan. You were too caught up in the ecstasy of finally being touched to see just how much this affected him. He continued to slowly stroke you while he brought his lips back to your nipple, sucking and nibbling. The dual stimulation was heavenly. He brought his lips to your ear and whispered “Darling may I taste you?” You moaned at the thought and then, in a moment of theological clarity, caressed his cheek and replied “My beloved has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies. I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine; he browses among the lilies.” He seemed just as turned on by religious quotation as you, his eyes widened before he slunk back down to your pussy, spreading it wide before feasting upon you.

He took an experimental lick from your entrance to your clit and you cried out. Clearly amused by your reaction, he focused on your clit, alternating between licking and sucking in a painfully slow fashion. You were moaning in a way you would’ve considered deeply embarrassing had you had the clarity to hear yourself: a high pitched whiny squeal that sounded like something out of a porno. This entire scenario, the dashing older man eating out the young bookish girl, was straight out of a porn so perhaps your wailing was fitting.

As you felt your climax build, he cruelly pulled away. “Noooo don’t stop please!” You whined, lightly kicking his arm. He looked up at you and you found that his gaze had shifted back to the confident, predatory one you’d seen at the actual church. He climbed up your body until you were face to face and he held your chin in a strong grasp. “Are you going to be a good girl? Because only good girls get to cum.” You nodded frantically. “You said earlier you were at my mercy, I’m going to put that to the test now. If you disobey me I’ll leave you crying on the floor with no release and no chance at getting my cock.” Your eyes widened, what on earth did he mean with his test? Your mind was too clouded with lust to question anything. You needed him. “Anything Mr. Reed I’ll do anything you want. I’m your good girl please let me show you.” He chuckled at your desperation. “Wait right here then my good girl, I need to grab some things. Something from me and something from you.”

He left you laying on the floor wondering what he could possibly mean by something from you. After what felt like ages he returned. In his hands he held an ornate candlestick with the Virgin Mary carved into the side. A deep red candle was affixed to the top. “This” he said setting the candle on the ground “is from me.” He rifled into his cardigan pocket for something. “And this is from you. I think most people would say good girls don’t carry this in their purse, but I would wager I’m not most people.” He produced a small black rubber ball with a small hole at the top. You stared at in, confused, and then realization set in. It was a vibrator. You had gone out to lunch with your roommate from undergrad a week ago and she had given it to you as a joke, calling it your date for Valentine’s Day. She’d been married with kids for 5 years at this point and constantly nagged at you to settle down so the vibrator was par for the course, a usual humiliation from her. At the time you’d rolled your eyes at her and thrown it in your bag forgetting about it. Your companion must have rifled through your belongings when you got up to use the bathroom at the restaurant. He sat down on the floor and motioned for you to come to him. “Lay against me pet.” He said patting his chest. You backed into him, your ass against his straining erection and your head leaning back onto his shoulder. It was almost too intimate a position for a one night stand. If that’s all this was.

“Here is what’s going to happen. I am going to take this candle, light it, and drip its wax down your delectable body. While I’m doing that I will be holding this vibrator firmly against your clit. Now I know I’m not some big muscle freak, but I am certainly strong enough to hold you down and I will do so. You will not cum until I give you permission. If you agree to this right now I will not listen to any pleas of stop or no, but I know that you won’t dare even utter those words.” Your heart was racing and you felt yourself grow even wetter, something you didn’t think was possible at this point. Earlier when you’d mentally imagined fucking your new friend you’d imagined he would kiss you and fondle your breast a little before fucking you in missionary. You’d never anticipated wax play and edging from an aging British amateur theologian.

“I told you Mr. Reed. I’m at your mercy.” You huffed out, snuggling your head into his neck as if to prove how serious you were about staying. “Atta girl” He said, placing a kiss on your forehead. He started by lighting the candle. Once the wax began dripping down to the candle holder he lifted it off the ground and hovered it above your naked body. “You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” The psalm slipped past his lips as the hot wax hit your breasts. It felt incredible, especially as he held you flush against him. His right arm held you firm in place against him even as his hand, which held the vibrator, snaked closer and closer to your core. Finally you felt the cold silicone divot pressed firmly over your clit. You shuddered at the contact, already sensitive from his fingers and mouth. He hit the button on the side of the device and it whirred to life. Just as the vibration began he poured more wax down your torso. The stimulation was already mind numbing. He began whispering passages from revelation in your ear, the twisted words of angels unleashing chaos on mankind only sending me further into your hedonistic frenzy. The Catholic slut had been fully realized. The vibrator attacked your clit you felt yourself teetering just on the edge of release, somehow holding out simply to please him, to serve him.

Tears began rolling down your cheek, not from the pain of the hot wax, but from the pure ecstasy this man was inflicting upon you. There was nothing left in the world, just you and him. His soft cardigan against your skin, his wispy grey curls tickling your eyes as you hid your face in the crook of this neck, his gentle voice in your ear. Suddenly that voice switched from revelation back to a passage from a psalm: “Deep calls to deep at the noise of your waterfalls. All your waves and your billows have swept over me.” Your entire body erupted into white hot light, your climax racking through your very being. Mr. Reed set down the candle and turned off the vibrator and brought you even closer to him, bringing you fully into his lap with his arms around your waist. You sobbed into his neck, so overwhelmed and overstimulated by what you had just experienced. “Oh my beautiful girl you are more marvelous than I could’ve ever imagined.”

Once you had stopped crying and come down from your orgasm a little, he tapped your side and helped you stand up. He guided you out of his faux church and down the hall into what you assumed must be his bedroom. He laid you down on the bed and left for moment, not without kissing you first. While you waiting for him you took in your surroundings. The walls were covered in a deep red floral wallpaper. The bedding was soft, though a little worn. He had more religious artifacts adorning his walls and shelves. You even spied Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons amongst a stack of books. You would tease him for that later. He returned with a large glass of water and handed it to you. As you sipped the cool water he started undressing, stripping down to a white tshirt and plaid boxers. You set the glass down on his bedside table and held your arms out to him. He climbed in the bed next to you and began kissing you fervently. His hands explored your body and despite the previous orgasm you found yourself growing slick with want yet again.

Now that he was freed from his trousers you reached your hand down and stroked his length through his boxers. He let out a delicious moan in response, his cool demeanor fully melted away and replaced with need. As you kissed him through his moans and continued to palm at him you wondered how long it had been since he’d been this intimate with someone. That’s really what was happening here, this was far more than a one night stand. You wanted to make him feel good, to elicit an orgasm that brought him to tears just like he had done for you.

Breaking the kiss you slid your hand under his shirt and gently guided it over his head. Once you’d removed his shirt you kissed him deeply, leaving his lips and trailing kisses down his chest. When you reached just above his boxers you raised an eyebrow, surprised to see a happy trail leading to your main event. You kissed along the patch of hair and slowly slid his boxers down. His cock sprung forward and you couldn’t help but moan a little at the sight of him. He was a good 7inches and decently thick. Circumsized too, so god must be pleased.

You began stroking his bare length and he shuddered. Leaning forward, you took his entire length into your mouth in one quick motion and he yelled. As you went to work he gripped your hair holding you tight in place. “Oh my sweet girl my good girl you make me feel divine” he sputtered out between moans. You loved how vocal he was and you couldn’t wait to hear him when he was inside you.

Suddenly his grip on your scalp released and he pulled your head off of him. Fearing you’d done something wrong you looked up at him with big doe eyes, waiting for a response. He pulled you up so that you were straddling him and brought your head to rest against his. “And the two shall become one flesh.” He whispered before pulling you into a kiss you could only describe as romantic. Sure you were both naked and your wet cunt was planted firmly on his rock hard cock, but there was something innocent and pure about that kiss. He scooted up against the headboard and pulled you firmly onto his lap, your tits right at eye level. He lifted you onto him and you both groaned in ecstasy as he entered you. Unable to control yourself you began riding him, needing to feel him go deep inside you. The sounds coming from your soaking union were obscene, complimented by your once again pornographic high pitched squeals and his guttural moans. He held you flush against him, your breasts smothering his face. He nipped and sucked at your nipples again, feeling the rush of warm wet slick it caused. “Imagine what your old classmates would think of you now, piercing yourself on an old atheist’s cock.” The dirty talk was back and you knew his voice alone could guide you to a second climax. “If god was real then he designed you just for me, he made your sweet little cunt ripe for my taking. MY perfect little Catholic slut.” He growled out the word “my” emphasizing the feeling you already held near and dear to your heart, you were his. With those words ringing in your ear you came hard and fast around his cock and he followed shortly after. You could feel his warm seed filling you and mixing with your own cum, dripping out of your weeping hole.

You both just held each other, his cock softening inside you. He finally pulled out and the two of you hobbled to his bathroom. He guided you into the shower and you both just enjoyed each other’s silent company as you cleaned off the evidence of your lecherous evening. You stayed under the warm water awhile longer after he left, just soaking in the steam. When you climbed out and began drying yourself off he re-entered the bathroom holding a pair of plaid boxers and a faded old Radiohead t shirt. “I get to stay?” You asked grabbing the clothes from him and pulling him into a kiss. “Darling if I had it my way you’d never leave.” You pulled on his clothes and climbed into his bed with him, falling asleep in his arms as if it was the place you were destined to be.

***

Four months later when you crossed the stage to accept your doctoral diploma, you beamed with pride and relief that for the first time in your academic career they didn’t call out the last name that belonged to your family who had thrown you out so carelessly. No, they announced you as Dr. Reed.

After a whirlwind month of romance and hedonism, Mr. Reed had proposed to you. It was insane, your friends thought, marrying a man old enough to be your father that you’d just met, but when they saw the two of you together the couldn’t argue. It truly seemed that you were two halves of a whole.

You were hired by the university you’d graduated from as a theology professor and you and your husband lived a blissful life. You opened him up more and would bring your friends around for dinner parties and game nights. He would still linger at your side like a puppy dog even as he grew more comfortable around people. The house you shared was always ooh’d and ahh’d at by company. Occasionally you’d be asked “what’s behind those twin doors in the office?” and you’d smile and politely reply “oh it’s just old storage there, nothing fancy to show off. In fact it’s a mess, I’d be embarrassed for you to see!” and your husband would squeeze your arm and smile at you, proud that you’d converted to his one true religion.

[lobo-inu]

saw a post that reminded me of my really bad past experiences with tesblr, and how lucky i am to finally have a tes server that’s like…. actually safe. and full of people who are nothing but genuine. especially now that i’ve healed a lot, too.

i’ve heard SO MANY horror stories about rumors people in this fandom spread - and i’ve also been a victim of them too, lol. been called a scammer (was getting donations for a live saving surgery. thats it), a mysoginist (literally just explaining my mother-based trauma and being scared of adult women lol), and also like. had rumors go around about me apparently letting minors into an 18+ server. even tho i fucking hate interacting with minors online w a passion. i made a past server that was previously 15+ to 18+ and kicked all minors bc they could not fucking behave and respect boundaries.

oh, also pure ableism when it comes to a Very stigmatized diagnosis of mine. :| that was from the same person who called me a mysoginist. people over here making insane headcanons for me, i guess 😭

….so yeah. just awful, out of character shit going around.

i’ve lost a good few people i considered friends who were quick to listen to these rumors instead of just. idk. communicating with me.

this fandom irks me a lot with it’s behavior on a personal level beyond that, though. Skyrim had been one of my most intense hyperfixations since i was in a single digit age. so it sucks having such a hostile and drama-hungry community when all i wanna do is share OCs and shit.

this sounds fucking insane, but past experiences here have caused my anxiety disorder to skyrocket to such a drastically dangerous degree, so its kinda crazy that i’m even back here. typing this out is giving me chest pains lol. like this is probably one of the worst fandoms to get involved with

with that said, thank you @ the people who’ve made my return an enjoyable experience. and thank you to those who stuck around even after i left in 2023, and stuck by me and my honesty vs rumors. yall are the fucking real ones. and also the babygirls server, friends both new and old - i love u guys. thank yall for helping me continue this personal healing journey of mine (yall know what i’m referencing).

if anyone has had any ridiculous experiences here, do feel free to share 😭 cause i know i’m not the only one. also god i love the babygirls server. pls join the babygirls server

[kairoot]

𝑀𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑛’𝑠 𝑆𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝐺𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 ───── 🪽．

insp by sav, xo.

with 2024 now coming to a close, i’d just like to take this time to thank every person that is in my life right now and that continues to love and care for me. as well as my platform here on tumblr, you guys have been so good to me, helping me build this page by supporting me and giving me love when you didn’t even have to. i do wish to continue putting newer and better writings out for the lot of you and i hope that i can continue to earn that love and support that you all give me.

this year has been.. such a rollercoaster for me. but one of my biggest lessons as well. i’ve been through things that i never thought i would go through but i still thank God that i made it through. there was so many times where i wanted to give up and just stop trying but i didn’t. i’ve finally found peace within myself and i’m so very grateful for that. i took the time to learn things about myself that i didn’t know before, as well as having a better mindset that i didn’t have before. this year as a whole has changed me so much with the good and the bad that it brought, but i don’t regret any of it because in the end, it only made me become a better version of myself, and i’m still growing stronger everyday.

even with the things that have occurred here on tumblr, they never made me crumble or crack, but there were times where i had to step back. but once again, i regret nothing.

this year i also hit such a huge milestone that i never thought i could achieve (still can’t believe it!!!!) but i couldn’t have done it without you all. thank you to the people who stuck around to see that ♡︎．

to sav, @ourhees, i just wanna thank you for putting up with me even when i feel like i’m lowkey annoying tf out of you, you continue to talk with me and we have the greatest conversations. you were one of my first moots and we’ve known each other the longest so i just had to give you a special message. you’re someone that has stuck beside me even when i was in the wrong with things, you and the rest of the girls have helped me through it all and I can’t thank you enough for that. you truly have the most beautiful personality ever and you’re so understanding that it heals a part of me lol. there’s so many more things I could say to you sav, but they just wouldn’t be enough. thank you so much for staying with me and thank you for creating this friendship ♡︎.

to guppiez, @bnkiz , @ourhees , @elysianiki , @cupidhoons , @mygnolia , @/eli, i love and miss you all so much that words cannot explainnnn, oh my goodness. thank you to you guys supporting me and keeping me from crashing out lol. seriously, you guys have helped me in so many ways. whether it was with irl things or things here on the internet, we’ve always stuck by each other’s side and i love that for us. even when we’re apart, we still love each other from a distance. you guys have always brightened my day and made me laugh more than i’ve laughed in a while. i know our chat isn’t active at the moment but i still love each and every one of you the same and i hope 2025 brings you nothing but joy.

to moots i want to get closer to, @pshbites , @itsminjify , @regularsuh , @amorsae , @rizzkisworld , and more !!! i want to thank you guys for becoming moots with me though we may not talk much, i really do hope we can become closer in the future ! i enjoy the energy you give off when ever we do interact, always positive and we definitely need more of that on tumblr, specifically enhablr. wishing you all a great 2025 !!!! ♡︎ — anyone that i didn’t mention, don’t worry, i love you just as much :)

─── 𝓁𝑎𝑛𝑖．🌬️

[kobebibebi]

I’ve seen your art around a few times, and it is stunning! How are you able to create such distinctive character designs (I saw the sot ones and they’re beautiful, especially Kenny)?! It’s incredible

Thank you friend :-)

OMGDHDGG#&$&-$&$&#&&$&$ HIIIIIIIII 💖💖💖💖 I LOVE UR MULTIVERSE FIC/AU <33333 UR AWSOME??????#-_?#&!;#&#&

sorry about thar,, anwyay

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! 😭💖💖💖

about my character designs especially for my fantasy au, i wanted to make each of the main 4 shine (and at least basically make each of them equally the main character,, tho i think i failed a bit since its obvious i liked princess kenny more lol)

in context they're all pretty important figures in the story, each leading their own faction so i think it just made sense that i would make them all have their own distinct fashion styles and vibes,

and since they're the first designs i made for this au i wanted to establish a style/vibe for each faction so i can have a guide on other characters belonging to those factions,

-like kyle's design having floral patterns and intricate clothing to show the long standing culture of the elves, i wanted to make him look the most traditional so i opted to give him A LOT of detailed patterns than he did in canon

-or a very simple and practical design for stan to show that unlike the others he (and his faction) focuses more on fighting and combat than being fashionable and presentable to the public, so i gave him simple clothing that isn't really too far from his actual canon design

-for cartman i wanted to emphasize his star motifs more and push more on his individuality as a wizard, in my au kupa keep is a freshly new faction in comparison to the elven kingdom so I really went hard on making his design focus on himself rather than his faction (which is honestly pretty in character now that i realize lol)

- and lastly princess kenny, i wanted to make a design that screams "i will go to war for her" considering her famous reputation for gaining followers simply for her looks and charms, and obviously with a very anime fantasy inspired design

im really glad i could share these 😭, i put a lot of thought, time and effort for these designs so thanks so much for asking this literally !!! i could go on for days on how i designed them 💔

(also sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for 😔 this is the first thing i thought of lol)

but rlly tho tysm im glad to hear that especially from u oh my goodness i actually freaked out and almost screamed in my classroom when i saw this ask 😭😭

and fr tho 😭 I really love your Top 3 reasons to not open a multidimensional time rift: number one will surprise you fic💖💖💖 i genuinely read it everyday and it's also stuck in my head get them out please /j, i love it so much and you're a really amazing writer + artist and i love ur works so this ask is so awesome for me (also we're mutuals now omgg)

[noturlesson]

Sal Fisher x Popular!Reader

So it’s currently 1 am on a school night rn lol and I’ve been seeing so many of these so I decided to write my own. This is like…. My first ever tumblr post and I have absolutely no idea how to use this app so pls be kind!!!

GnAfab!Reader

You didn’t necessarily consider yourself popular, despite what the gang told you. You just thought you were… well known.

Yea that was definitely the best way to describe it

Your unique style and flashy clothing made you stand out amongst your peers, and you garnered a lot of attention for it.

When you first started freshman year, the attention wasn’t really positive, and you were talked about by almost everyone. Rumors flew around at such a rapid pace that it made your head spin.

You had heard it all. From “they a hoe” to “they sacrifice people and worship the devil”. But with Larry and the gang, you managed to make it through that hell and by sophomore year, everyone loved you and the negative opinions of you melted into ones of admiration.

Despite this, you were still sort of unaware of just how many eyes were on you, though. So much so, that you couldn’t even tell that your best friend, Sally Face, was looking at you with more than just platonic admiration.

The way you found out was so odd, though, and everything sort of clicked in your head when you processed it.

You were walking with Sal to your shared Physics class when someone approached you and complimented your outfit and makeup. You gave them a smile and thanked them and when they walked away, Sal made agreed with them.

Surprised you because he never really compliments you unless it’s a special occasion like your birthday or something.

When u guys DO start dating, almost everyone knows about it despite you only telling Ash & Larry

Relentless teasing from your friends, them saying how it was so obvious that you and Sal had googly eyes for each other. It’s sweet, really.

Occasionally, you would see posts about it on the school’s drama page where people would try and start up rumors again, but it never really stuck.

For at least a month, your relationship is the talk of the town. You get a lot more stares whenever you’re with him, but Sal will continue to hold your hand, effectively distracting you from the paparazzi-like gaze.

Sal doesn’t mind all the attention too much as he’s grown accustomed to it from his old school. It can get a bit overwhelming for him though when you constantly have people approaching you in the halls, asking you guys questions or just trying to converse with you both in general

It does kind of catch him off guard though since he’s used to all the eyes being on you rather than himself. You’re always there to stand up for him if need be.

“Omg, I see you in the halls all the time and I just wanted to say I love your style so much! Your outfit and makeup is so cute today!” Another student stopped you and gushed as you were walking to class with Sal. It was sudden, and the compliment made your heart skip a beat. You flashed them a bright smile before you replied.

“Thank you bookie, I really appreciate it.” The person smiled back at you and nodded, waving at you before walking off down the hall.

“You do look really pretty today.” Sal spoke from beside you. You immediately could feel your face heating up and you turned to face him, trying your best to hide the fact that he made your heart skip a beat. Sal never really commented on your looks, so to say you were surprised was an understatement.

A cheeky smile played at your lips. “If I look so good then why don’t you come and kiss me?” You giggled as you watched his ears and neck turn bright pink at your sudden flirtatious comment. Another thing about you is that you were a huge flirt. None of your friends were safe, and Sal was no exception. He quickly turned his face away from you, his blue pigtails following the movement of his head.

“Pssht, whatever.” He mumbled, speeding up to walk in front of you. Another giggle escaped you as he passed you. “Maybe I should.”

It was almost a whisper, you barely caught it through the noise of the halls, but you did. It made your heart flutter as you stared at him with a wide-eyed expression. You hurried behind him, grabbing onto the hem of his black sweatshirt to not lose him in the huge crowd of people blocking up the halls.

Then came your response to him. You leaned down (you’re taller than him in this, sorry not sorry to all my short readers), speaking quietly next to his ear. “I think you totally should.” A giggle followed, and then you dashed into the classroom, quickly seating yourself before he got the chance to reply.

Later, when you’re at home, you get a text from him.

Sally 💙

>did u rlly mean what u said b4 class? Abt the kiss?

You

>Possibly, y? Does Sally Face want to kiss me?

Sally 💙

>No… tf (maybe)

You

>lol ur so silly, ofc I meant it

Sally 💙

>Great omw rn

You

>doors open stinka

When he comes over, he’s a stuttering mess, fumbling over his words and cracking jokes to divert his awkward energy, which only makes you fall in love with him even more. You stop his babbling by pressing a gently kiss to the cheek of his prosthetic, your hands resting on his shoulders. His brain totally fries and all he can do is look at you with wide eyes. You smile, and give him another kiss, this time telling him that you’ve always wanted to do that. He confesses after, and next thing you know, you’re in a giggling fit wrapped up in his arms on your couch with the new title of Sal Fisher’s significant other.

[maul-of-shame]

So I saw you answered someone asking about your writing so I'm taking a shot, if you don't want to answer that's fine though, no pressure!!!

I read many of your fics, drabbles and all and I was wondering if you have some sort of ''fear'' as a writer? To me, your writing is amazing and I know we all have fears and things we dislike about our stuff so I was wondering if you had one/some when it comes to your writing?

Not saying you should have one at all!😭 Anyway I just don't know how to word it, forgive me Bucky 😂😭

Aww, hi there! First off, thank you so much for reading my little fics and drabbles—it means the world that you’d take the time to do that and then ask me this question on top of it. You’re so sweet!🥹

Okay, so apologies for the incoming rambling (you’ve been warned), but let’s dive into the chaos of my brain.

Honestly, I think the biggest “fear” I wrestle with as a writer is… being seen only as a fanfic writer and nothing else.

Like, don’t get me wrong—I LOVE fanfiction. It’s brought me so much joy, growth, and connection with amazing people (like you!). But I have these big dreams of publishing my own original work someday. I want to tell stories that come purely from my own little weird heart, you know? Stories that might sit on someone’s shelf, that might inspire someone the way my favorite books inspired me.

Stories that might make them cry or laugh or throw the book across the room in frustration (which, let’s be real, is the ultimate compliment). I want to be that kind of writer.

That said—because I need to scream this into the void—I’m so endlessly, obnoxiously grateful for the support and feedback I’ve gotten through fanfiction. It’s not just, “Oh, this is fun!” It’s like… “Holy shit, people are actually reading the chaotic nonsense that spills out of my head and even LIKING it??” It blows my mind every time, and I’ll never stop being grateful for the love, the comments, the memes, the everything. I mean this with my whole chest: I wouldn’t be the writer I am without this space and without people like YOU who take the time to say kind things or even just quietly read along.

And this isn’t me being a dramatic little shit—okay, maybe a little dramatic, I can’t help myself—but sometimes, chasing the dream of writing original stories feels scary as hell. Like, “Can I do it? Will it matter? What if I’m just forever the fanfic writer who tried and flopped?” But then I remind myself that the fanfic writer me? She’s a badass, too. She’s the reason I even have the guts to dream of shelves and bookstores and signed copies (lol imagine me signing books… I’d probably doodle something embarrassing in the margins).

The scary part is the thought that people might look at me and say, “Oh, she’s good… but only for fanfiction.” Like I’m stuck in this little box. And I get it! Fanfiction and original work are two different beasts. But it’s terrifying to think that I might never be able to break out of that box in people’s minds or that my original stuff won’t measure up.

Writing fic means you’re working with these beloved characters that people already know and love (or passionately hate—hey, no judgment, to each their own). You’re basically playing in this giant, already-established sandbox where you get to build castles, dig holes, and maybe throw some sand in people’s faces for fun. The love for those characters is already baked into the equation, you know?

But original work? That’s like showing up to an empty lot with a dream and a shovel.

You have to build the sandbox from scratch, bring the sand, plant a flag, and then stand there hoping—praying—that someone will wander by, look at what you’ve made, and think, “Huh, maybe I’ll give this a try.” It’s daunting because there’s no safety net of pre-existing love. People aren’t already emotionally invested in your characters—they don’t know their quirks, their heartbreaks, or the way they snort when they laugh. It’s just you, standing there like, “Hi! Please give my little sandcastle a chance? I promise it’s cool!” And let’s be real, most people just stroll past like, “Meh, I’ve seen better sand.”

And I’m not saying this to throw shade at fanfiction (because, uh, I love it), but there’s something so much scarier about creating something entirely from your own brain. Like, in fanfic, you’re remixing these iconic characters and stories, and people already have a reason to care. But with original work? You’re making it all up: the world, the characters, the drama, the everything. You’re basically yelling into the void and hoping someone will listen—and maybe, just maybe, fall in love with your weird little brainchildren.

So yeah, the fear of “what if no one cares” is VERY real.

Also—on the note of fear—there’s the good ol’ “everything I write is bad, and people are just too nice to tell me” spiral. You know, the one where I read something I’ve written and think, “Maybe I peaked five years ago, and I’ve been bluffing ever since”😂 It’s irrational, but it’s there.

Like, I could be sitting here, 200k words deep into that damn fic (stares directly at Gilded), with the most heartbreaking, beautifully tragic romantic quote that I know isn’t half-bad, and a part of me will STILL be like, “Nope, everyone’s just lying to you. They’ve formed a secret club where they all agree to gaslight you into thinking you’re a good writer, but actually, you suck.”

And it’s so stupid because I KNOW people wouldn’t go out of their way to read and comment on something if they hated it. But that little insecure gremlin in the back of my brain? Oh, she is LOUD LMAO.

And listen—don’t let my loud, sassy mouth fool you. Underneath all the sass and sarcasm is a very shy goth girl with weird humor, probably breaking into puns (she is, trust me) every time something hits a little too close to home. She will absolutely deflect with awkward jokes, but if you’re nice to her? She’s tearing up. Like, full-on ugly crying. Compliments hit her right in the feelings, and she doesn’t know how to handle it, so she just sits there like, “Oh my god, thank you—wait, are you sure? Are you okay? Do you need glasses??”

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, I’m an awkward, emotionally fragile nerd masquerading as a confident, loudmouth goth.😂😂 I spiral like the best of them, but I’m also SO thankful for anyone who sticks around, reads my stuff, or says something kind. You’re the reason I don’t throw my laptop into the sun during my bad brain days!!!🖤

That being said, even with all those fears, I’m stubborn as hell. I want to claw my way through those doubts. I want to leave my mark (okay, that sounded so pompous LMAO SORRY-, but you get what I mean). Even if the path to publishing original stories is slow and bumpy and full of “what ifs”, I’m gonna chase it because I love storytelling too much not to.

Anyway, thank you for this question. Seriously. It made me reflect on a lot, and it was kind of nice to ramble about it (sorry for the novel though—classic Bucky move 😂). Also, your kindness gives me fuel to keep writing. I hope this rambling mess of an answer made some sense!!!💙

[mediumgayitalian]

Im writing a ficlet to post here on tumblr and I got inspired by ur writing but everytime I read the mere start it's just a big no no What do i do???

first of all send it my way if you like!! second of all you have a few options:

1. Just Keep Going

remember you can go back and fix things!! if you keep writing you’ll stumble into a flow, and then you can go back and edit the beginning or middle to fit your vision.

2. Fuck Beginnings

the number one obstacle i had with writint when i was first starting out is that i could never think of a damn beginning. even now i struggle with it. best way to handle that: fuck beginnings. wherever you have a scene, start: in the middle of an argument, the middle of a scene, hell, the middle of a damn sentence. wherever the start of your idea is is the start of your story! don’t force something that doesn’t exist. (that 10k will angst fic i just wrote? started w the sherman & will argument scene! i had Nothing beforehand! and you’ll notice a lot of my stuff starts in the middle of a conversation, cause it’s easier!*)

3. Start Over

sometimes i’ll try so hard to make something i’ve already written work, even if i’m stuck, because i’ve already sunk so much time in it that starting again feels like a waste of time. but, dude, trust me — if you’re that stuck, just start over. maybe not the whole damn piece, but you can definitely rewrite a paragraph or chapter. personally, i tend to cut and paste whatever isn’t working into a new doc so i don’t lose it (in case i manage to reuse it elsewhere) and then i begin again, with uncluttered space.

4. Post What You Have

i should really link y’all to the first post i ever made. it was Hot Stinky Garbage. i don’t care. it Helped, you know? it started me out. maybe your thing isnt perfect — post it anyway. maybe nobody cares — post it anyway. (took like two weeks for someone to care about what i was posting on this account, and i posted daily. my first fic had zero notes for eight days.) you might even find that you’re just being too hard on yourself!

5. Dialogue Prompts My Beloved

dialogue is so so easy for me to write. it’s WAY easier for me to script a conversation and then build facial expressions, emotions, actions, and intention behind it, because i never shut up! i have a lot of practice. as you may have noticed i’ve been using the @p0ck3tf0x 100 ways to say i love you list — i’ve put it in a spinner wheel lol. so i spin the wheel and write the prompt, then i don’t have to make a decision. if i don’t like what comes up i spin again.

good luck!! wish you all the best!!

*it is a thousand times easier to build exposition through context. example:

Kayla walked up to her brother, who was sitting morosely on the porch. “Hey, Will. You good?”

Will shrugged. “I’m okay.”

vs.:

“Will. Hey. You good?”

“‘M okay.” He tried for a smile. “Thanks though, Kayla.”

see the difference? in the first, i am outright telling you that 1) kayla is walking over to will 2) he is sitting on the porch 3) he is sad 4) he is answering her question. this are all stated things, either by the narrator or by the dialogue. this is clunky! this is so clunky!

but why?

you know all these things. you know ‘hey’ is a greeting — so obviously kayla is newly approaching will. kayla calls will by name — you know who she’s talking to. will mumbles, and ‘tries for a smile’ — both things that indicate he’s feeling morose. he responds to kayla by name, so you know who he’s responding to. when you over-explain or state too much in your writing, you’re telling your readers twice, which can feel awkward.

[caram3lla]

I just couldnt merge the two series so I made separate ones. To be fair, I haven’t really read 4koa so my opinion may be misguided but whatever (and I also haven’t watched 7ds in a while also, so…) PLEASE hear me out anyway😭🙏

I don’t have much to say about favorite character, I’m literally in love with Howzer and I’ve never loved a character as much as him. for Chion, he’s just an asshole and that’s enough for me. He has a lot of potential as a character and I’m really excited for him in the series, I would not be his friend IRL though because he would literally be the worst person to be around. And you know what, everyone can hate him but I will always appreciate him😚💖Gilthunder, Diane and Donny are runner ups for fav character!

To be honest, I don’t TOTALLY dislike Ban but…idk. I don’t like him very much, but not only for the very obvious Elaine related reasons. Something he did at the beginning of 7ds kinda stuck with me, when he tried to kill Meliodas to get Elaine back. I guess it’s supposed to be, like, heartbreaking that he wants his woman back so bad he’d kill his best friend???? Mid battle???? Like girl this is not about you rn😭 Idk if my friend tried to kill me to get her boyfriend back, I think I’d have to kill her idk that’s just me😭 and I’m really sorry to the Ban fans because I know he’s a good character and I get that he becomes a better friend later, that scene just stuck with me though

I feel like this might not be a super unpopular opinion but I didn’t really like Escanor at first. Ig I just didn’t really care about him. I like his night time self, he’s very sweet and dorky. The thing I like about SUPER confident and cocky characters is them getting taken down a notch, which he was, twice, so it’s fine. For Tristan, I’m so sorry but I really didn’t care for him at all😭 Before I read most of the scenes with him in it, I thought he was SOOOO bland and boring. Like, he was just nice, and loved, and that’s it. He seems like a character that thinks everything is his fault, which isnt a problem with him or his character, I just don’t really like characters like that. I like that he looks more like Elizabeth, I think that’s nice. Anyway I like him now and I think he’s more complex than I thought before!

I dislike Guinevere for the obvious reasons that everyone hates her for so I don’t have much to say😭I guess to cover the least favorite ship category, I don’t like her and Lancelot together and that one scene was super weird. I like her design tbh, she’s super cute, but yeah…

I honestly don’t dislike Veronica, I just like her design more than her herself😭She’s super caring and sweet, and loyal, just very abrasive sometimes. When she interacts with people and her family especially, you can tell that she really cares, even if she’s kinda mean. Anyway I love da bob and her dress, it’s very cute😌 on the flip side, I like Tioreh herself WAY more than her design. I honestly cannot pin down what I don’t like about her design, I just really really don’t like it😭 I’m sorryyyyyy

For the fav ships, I don’t have too much explaining to do (I’m gonna keep saying that and I’m lying every single time). For Gilthunder x Howzer, I just really love the friends to lovers trope. Although a One-sided! Howzer x Gilthunder is probably more realistic. Anyway I love their friendship as it is :) To be honest I never liked rivals to lovers until this Chion x Donny phase I have going on right now, I have no explanation for this I just think they’re cute.

Elizabeth is super sweet, and honestly I don’t mind her voice, she is such a caring friend. Jade is just like, the most normal character I think ever so I would be his friends irl, probably😭

I would NOT be friends with Gowther, I feel like he would expose me so often, and like, one of my biggest fears is that someone is reading my mind, so he’s literally my nightmare, and I don’t wanna know him😭

Anyway I’m done yapping now, thank you for reading this if your at this point lol

[toytle]

Hi! I love your art style it's like. Breathtaking. And your hcs on barry are some of my favourites of all time?

What do you think of "The Ballad of Barry Allen by Jim's Big Ego as an analysis of Barry's character?

are you asking or are you telling me 🤨 lol THANK YOU i put all my headcanon power into him <3

for the ballad, i love their song stress, and this isn’t bad at all as far as fansongs go. but there’s a reason i don’t include it in my barry playlist, and it’s ultimately bc it doesn’t fit my narrative haha

the song was made in 2003 and i haven’t read many comics before then, so idk how well it aligns w barry’s characterization prior to flashpoint, but i’m basing my playlist off post-flashpoint, so that’s where a lot of the differences will lie

for starters, the song only includes one half of barry’s relationship to his superspeed, and it’s important to me that a barry interpretation includes both sides of that coin. instead, it’s playing on the idea of the dark side of the hero fantasy, an inherently optimistic genre. which, fair, being a superhero sounds like a nightmare, but that angle is less novel to me when that’s the extent of the analysis (and i’m a little over the whole “i hate being a superhero” storyline in general, personally). the song is basically abt how much it would suck to have superspeed bc the world slows to a crawl and you’re left behind bc no one else can keep up w you. and it’s true, that is a very real setback! especially for someone like barry who’s already prone to self-isolation and time management issues! but what does the song actually have to say abt him as a character?

the thing is, barry isn’t a “i wish i wasn’t a hero” kind of guy. he’s a “could i be so strong [to give up the flash]? or do i love the thrill of these powers too much?” kind of guy. he’s a “knowing what i know now… if i could go back in time… maybe i would’ve been somewhere else the day lightning struck my lab and electrified those chemicals, ready and willing to forfeit a life of dodging deathtraps and battling villains… who am i kidding? there’s no going back. no do-overs. like everyone else, superheroes can only follow the path destiny has laid out for them, whatever lies ahead.” kind of guy. yes, barry is caged by his superspeed, but it would be misleading to not present it first and foremost as the very thing that frees him. it’s a double-edged sword that gives him purpose, and that freedom in obligation is what motivates him to keep going. as a wise man once said, “all you can do is go forward.” (“thanks.” “superman is pretty smart isn’t he.” “hm.”)

i think the real kicker for me was this lyric: “i’ve got time to think about the past… how my life was so exciting before i got this way.” my sincerest apologies to mr. allen, but he does not feel complete to me without his mother’s death or his father’s false imprisonment. this backstory contextualizes everything for me. his life was NOT exciting before his superspeed, it was lonely and full of escapism, either in his sci-fi/comics or his dedication to finding justice. i am of the belief that barry didn’t truly start living until he got his superspeed, over 2 decades of waiting around before he rly understood freedom and what it meant to live for himself. i get what they’re trying to do here, but this is what i mean when i say it feels like the song characterizes barry around the concept of his speed rather than how barry’s speed defines him as a person

ik i can’t expect a 4min song to include every aspect of a character’s timeline/development/nuance (esp before some of that even existed lol), but my issue isn’t that it doesn’t cover enough ground—it’s not bad that they had a theme and stuck by it, i actually love the lyrics from a speedster perspective. my issue is that i don’t think this is a good framing for barry’s character as a whole. for all his regrets and suffering, barry is optimistic to the point of denial. choosing this to be The theme to represent barry just. doesn’t feel like barry to me. it’s more like barry is the placeholder subject as an excuse to sing abt superspeed

if this was somehow less overtly a “BARRY ALLEN FANSONG” and maybe more metaphorical or even non-fandom, then it would be a dif situation and i might have dif opinions. at the end of the day, this has more to do w my pickiness than the quality of the song, and the fact that it even exists is so exciting for me as a barry allen enjoyer first, human second. but if you’re going to call smth a character study, i Will be getting my hopes up

[spideywhites]

Just came from reading the latest chapter of COS. And after screaming and crying my head out in different directions, all I have to say is... You are an amazing writer and I have faith in you.

Like we got glimpses into Naruto's mentality and disastrous coping mechanisms and the frustrations and hurt simmering between both the twins. This coupled with that horrendous heir contract for Natsume looming in the future has set up a tense stage.

But. Naruto already has grown leaps and bounds compared to how he was in canon at this stage. And I don't mean it solely in terms of skill level. So tbh with the way you are exploring and gutting canon I won't be surprised if he were to grow up even further emotionally as a person.

Cuz let's be honest- the moment Naruto chose to continue to love Konoha, after knowing every fucked up thing they did to Sasuke... I knew his character was being stagnated. To the point I was baffled when Yami Naruto came and Naruto actually got furious at his mom being exported from Uzu to be made into a Jinchuuriki. He is optimistic like Minato (in the sense of knowing how the world is shit but choosing to love it anyways), but mostly because of his horrifically low self esteem and unhealthy coping behaviours (which ok I understand. Cus the choice is between bad and worse). The brainwashing in his academy years and the way the public treated him has just fed into the mindset of rationalising away everything bad and the idea that he is the problem. Vs. Natsu is cynical like Kushina.

Coming back, Naruto's reaction regarding his Mom...makes me think that...when he will learn and understand the full depth of the shit Natsume was put through....he is gonna have a reaction similar to Sasuke (not sure about the I wanna raze Konoha to ground part though lol)

I have a feeling that canon is going to be thoroughly thrown off its rails by the time Shippuden were to arrive (or maybe even before that). Cuz Naruto and Natsume can have their growth arcs, if they are still stuck in the village that is hurting them and leeching off them

This was a brilliant chapter!!

First off, thanks for reading and all your thoughts! I’m glad this chapter was suitably scream-worthy lol. I’ve been trying my best to add in realism outside of the general canon-divergence, because as much as I love the nostalgia of Naruto, it’s lacking a bit when it comes to character depth, a sense of intimacy in relationships (of any kind), and just that good, slow burning build of friendship and maturity.

There’s going to be a lot more divergence ahead! That’s really all I can say tbh! I fear they’ve been trapped in stagnation for too long, it’s time for shit to hit the fan….

[hellbabyfromhell]

What is morning musume

im glad you asked.

i really love a video game series called rhythm heaven and have my whole life! as a teen, when i was nervous i would legitimately have lockstep loaded up on my DS ready to tap away at. i was at senior prom SOBBING bc i got stuck at a house party and the whole time i was crying i was tapping away at lockstep lol.

i wondered suddenly — what else was its creator, tsunku, up to?

turns out it was a LOT! i knew he did music for an idol group but that <- was the extent of my knowledge.

morning musume is the group (along with other groups) that tsunku made/composed all/a lot of the music for and because of this a lot of it sounds fun and rhythm heaven-y or just fucking good. ultimately i am a tsunku fan.

but i like 黄金期, golden era! da best!

their second album is wonderful. a ton of it is wonderful. its insane how much and how good this music is. i listened to “all for one and one for all” and thought oh how rhythm heaven-like! then i listened to love machine and renai revolution and manatsu no kousen i was hooked. do consider giving it a try.

they also were on a lot of variety shows but had their own, and it was extremely fun!!! and they also did like plays and movies and stuff. i’ve become really invested in archiving stuff and making it accessible— im getting stuff off a VHS from 2002 that hasnt been seen in. who knows how long. its nowhere online that i can find! i think preserving these things and sharing them is so important. its kinda become my passion recently, archival/uploading, and has pushed me to actually really try to learn japanese (making good progress!!!)

anyway. thats a little bit about morning musume. thank you.

ピースピース！

[ottiliere]

hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

[moroser]

[incoming long and personal and dark post]

it dawned on me that it’s april and that means it’s been 6 years since i stopped doing drugs. big achievement. i did weed the whole time, thinking i needed it to keep away from the worse stuff, but i stopped that too, almost 2 months ago now. everything i’m about to talk about i did without anyone in my life (offline) noticing and all by myself.

my entire life has been unstable and so difficult. and i mean difficult and sad. i used to drink pretty heavily, but i stopped when i found pills. i was taking pretty much any opioid i could find, i even stole them. i was text book addict with pills. i had every excuse to keep going with it, it made sense to me at the time. i was in so much pain mentally, emotionally, and eventually, physically. taking them was reprieve. 

eventually, i was taking so many a day, quite honestly i should have died. my brain was blank, i lost my creativity and i stopped drawing, which is the one thing i love the most to do. create. even though i did not stop, the fact i felt nothing in that realm anymore was heartbreaking. i’d spent several nights staring at the ceiling practically waiting to die. i had one dream that i can remember while on drugs and it was of me staring at myself opened-eyed and dead on my bed. it shook me.

the drugs affected my ability to think, cry and feel, then one day on my way to work, after taking so many, i got so sick on the side of the road on the freeway several times. eventually i pulled off into a town i didn’t know and passed out in the parking lot of a gas station for who knows how long. i woke up dazed with the taste of puke in my mouth, and totally dehydrated. i missed work, i was embarrassed with myself. i have no idea how long i sat there for before getting out of the car to walk around. eventually i made it home but i felt like i wasn’t the same after that. 

decided to detox (after trying before, and failing), which was the worst events i’ve been through in my life. took days, nearly a week to get over the worst of the symptoms. i don’t think i slept at all. i was so sick, shakes and chills, vomiting, etc. i let spongebob play for the entire time, that sponge grounded me lol. i’d made it through that time. and i stuck too it, using my desire to feel my creativity again and wanting to be better to my body to stay away from relapse. 

2017 i cleared my system of alcohol, pills, energy drinks, pop, and the only thing i’d let myself use was weed because i felt it would stop me from everything else. and technically, it did. it aided me for a long time. but the passed ~3 years i’ve been so ill with stomach issues and nausea and throwing up that i decided to stop that too. 

so now i’ve been completely sober for 1 month and 21 days. for the first time since high school i have nothing in my system that is altering me the way substance abuse has. it’s been a major adjustment. my focus is shit, my sleeping is difficult and my dreams are insanity. it literally feels like i’m sleeping just to wake up somewhere else because my dreams are so vivid and clear. i wake up every four hours having to adjust and remember i actually live here, not in dreamland. i didn’t dream at all while on drugs or weed, so in a way, i welcome the vibrancy of them. 

looking back, none of those things helped me. they only broke and shrouded my spirit with a darkness i don’t want to feel ever again. i want to be healthy and i want to give my body the chances that it deserves. i want to heal properly. i want to live so much. i want to find someone to be with that will understand me and accept me even with my flaws and history. i feel better already, but i know there’s still a long journey ahead and i can only hope it gets better. i deserve better. i know i’m a good person. i know i have so much creative potential in me and it’s what i want to give my energy and soul to.  

thanks for listening, if you read this. i am proud of myself for getting as far as i have but the support from my friends and strangers online has been a colossal sense of communal help i’ve never had offline. sharing my art has been a big help and just people enjoying it means so much to me. thank you.