#sometimes you are feeling like crap so you make a 'happy' playlist

[zafirosspretty]

Zafiro's guide to stop bedrotting.

- From someone with ADHD.

Ever had a specially bad breakup? You failed a test? Your face just had a horrible break-out?

These are all reasons you might find yourself brainrotting and falling deeper/into in depression. But I can tell you what personally helps me.

HOW CAN I IMMEDIATELY STOP?

Short answer is... You can't. You can't just suddenly stop feeling like crap and get your life together no matter how good you feel but that doesn't mean you have to stay miserable forever. Everything is a journey, a process.

GIVE ME THE STEPS!! NOW!!

FIRST: I need you to stop doom-scrolling, seriously. Scrolling through tik-toks endlessly is not going to make you feel better specially when you just keep finding yourself comparing yourself to the people on your screen. Everyone has bad days sometimes.

SECOND: Now, I know you feel like crap right now so I will not be asking you to make your bed. Instead, go get yourself a snack. When was the last time you ate something?

THIRD: brush your teeth, take a shower, try to empty your thoughts as you feel the water hit against your skin. It's a good cleansing method.

WHILST CLEANSING: Don't try to usher the bad thoughts out right away. Instead linger on them, reflect on them, acknowledge they are bad and give yourself the reason as to why. Slowly let the thoughts leave your mind like raindrops leave a cloud. Take as long as you need on this step.

FOURTH: Go back to your room, play the happiest playlist you have and listen to it. Listening to sad music like mitski will only make you feel worse, so don't. If you don't have a playlist like that at the moment you can simply play the radio, or maybe even blast a 2000's mix. Or maybe just listen to Ayesha erotica, she's one singer that makes me feel cunty.O r maybe something like this:

(STEP FIVE AND SIX ARE ACTUALLY INTERCHANGEABLE, DO WHICHEVER YOU PREFER FIRST)

FIFTH: Do your skincare, facemasks, watch a movie or two. Journal, draw something up, do a hobby. Don't forget you still need to take care of yourself both mentally and physically.

SIXTH: Now, you don't need to go out or whatever. BUT I find that if I dress up as cute as possible I always feel better and get a big shot of ego. So I want you to dress up like you are going to the club and are planning to make everyone's jaws drop. Dress yourself, do your makeup, your hair, everything as if you are about to go out and meet the love of your life. I just want you to dress like what will make you feel like the best version of yourself.

FINALE: With this, it's basically over. Now I want you to get some Vitamin D. With this I mean you can either take vitamins, eat something with it or step outside and get a bit of sun. This will make you feel better in the long run as you now try to go off and do your chores or hobbies.

I hope this is able to help whoever comes across this! Take in mind I'm not a professional or whatever and this is basically just what works for me. Change this method up as much as you need for it to benefit you.

- zp

[iloveyou-writers]

hi hannah. i feel like i can’t write like i used to anymore. like i’ve lost my talent. writing used to come so easy to me, i could write wherever and whenever, and now it feels like it takes too much energy. i miss being able to write the way i used to, i still have ideas and i want to write SO much. i just dont know how to. sorry if this is all too much, i remember you used to give out some advice and i could really use some

Not too much at all ^^ I'm actually happy people are reaching out again. My inbox has been pretty much silent since I attempted to leave tumblr.

But hello! Nice to see you again, friend. I hope you've been well (other than the contents of this ask). :) been a while.

So, I will start this off with a statement I HOPE helps. It is something all of us writers go through at some point in time. It's honestly really mentally/emotionally taxing to write, especially if you write really emotionally taxing topics (which if I remember right, you do?)... so it's totally normal to feel too drained to write.

Honestly, I've been struggling with this for the last year, since leaving my ex-husband, so I'm feeling this ask on a personal level.

That said, I think that taking a step back is a perfectly healthy thing to do. I understand aching to write, wanting to, and feeling like crap for not writing, but sometimes your mind and heart just need a break. Maybe listen to music that makes you think of the ideas you have or watch shows/movies that remind you of it... maybe just brainstorm ideas for it.

One of my mantras as a writer is: "you don't have to put words on a page to be writing."

You can create playlists, worldbuild, create characters for the world, talk about it to someone you trust/think might have an interest, daydream about it... really anything pertaining to the idea and it's still writing.

I love writing too... it's hard to not have the mental energy to be able to sit and do it... but sometimes that's your clue that there's something more pressing for your mind to be doing. And that's okay. You're not a worse writer for needing to step back. You're not a worse writer for not being able to write RIGHT NOW. It's okay to not be producing 24/7. You're not a machine. And even if you were, even machines need a reboot once in a while. So give yourself a break and some love. You've done amazing things. Celebrate what you've done for a while and let yourself relax for a while.

💘 Hope this helps. Welcome back to my inbox and happy breaking (as in taking a break not breaking down).

[culpeppercheckers721]

Hi so in case you couldn’t tell based on the last post, in the spirit of “Abraham Woodhull Appreciation Day” this 7/22 I just re-read THE Abraham Woodhull fic to end all Abraham Woodhull fics, Do Something Revolutionary, so oh my fucking god I need to rant for a second:

I am so emotionally unstable right now IN THE BEST WAY— as I have mentioned I may or may not have made the grave mistake of listening to Twin Sized Mattress, as well as Somewhere Only We Know and This Is Gospel because apparently those can also get me teary-eyed, whilst rereading this fic because sometimes I love music while I read and my Do Something Revolutionary playlist fucking SLAPS OK 🤪

Anyways, oh my god, this fucking riveting fic never fails to make me feel literally every emotion in existence for Abe Woodhull, and I cannot recommend it enough because god, it is something spectacular. As simple as it may seem to the naked eye, it is SO incredibly effective, and it captures Abe’s character wonderfully and gives a much-desired look into what his childhood was like & the dynamic he and the rest of the ring had as friends then, it does a FANTASTIC job exploring his bisexuality which yes, is simply just a headcanon of mine, yet also something I think is way too fitting and intentional to write off but that is a whole other matter—! As said, it hits the childhood friendship dynamic spot-on, to the point where it felt like I was reading fucking Stephen King’s IT again with how strong those vibes were!! 🤡 And, as embarrassed as I usually am to admit it, yes, it makes me feel so many things! It is an all-around inspiring take on our little cabbage, and yes, I’m aware there are many people who often can’t stand Abe, but I swear to god I don’t know how anyone could get through this fic & and it’s beautiful glimpse into Abraham himself and what can be learned from him and not be at least a little appreciative. ❤️

I am aware how ramble-y this is and perhaps one day I will make a better, more coherence recommendation of this fanfiction, but what I am trying to say here is that it is an incredible read full of killer lines, great characterization & emotions, and it utterly shocked me the first time I read it as I was NOT expecting it go so hard!

So yes this was what I had to do on this little Abe appreciation day, once again similarly to Ben to appreciate him in some physical way ahah, but in all seriousness I just have to give this fic so much credit for the EMOTIONS it gets me feeling, and, of course, how absolutely FERAL the Townhull dynamic in it also makes me (because what else is new? ;)) as well as why it is very much worth your time if you’re looking to enjoy a look into Abe, some of the Culper Ring as kids, and that aforementioned side of Townhull.

(And to get back to the music thing, I’d like to note that oh my god, that also fuels the already very strong emotions. I don’t want to say that I’m a stone cold bitch sometimes or anything, but USUALLY it takes quite a lot to get me emotional, and when I tell you that Do Something Revolutionary (especially the ending) accomplished that, it is not praise I take lightly ;))

Anyways, if you actually read this rant holy crap. Thank thank you & apologies for the incoherency, but this fic has utterly captivated me once again, and believe me when I say I am delighted I might be able to make somebody else smile by recommending it.

For now, Happy Abe Appreciation Day once again!!! I’ll see you tomorrow for Townsend Appreciation Day lmao ;)

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, August 29th, 2024.

Will you answer these questions as personally as you can? Yeah, sure, I'll give it a shot.

Why are you happy? I have so many reasons to be happy. All the way from the "big stuff" like having a safe place to live, enough food to eat and clean water to drink, people who love me, a job that gives me a sense of passion and purpose, etc; to things like the fact that it's cloudy today, I'm eating a yummy breakfast as I take this, I don't have a migraine, autumn is soon approaching, and so on and so forth. Sometimes I lose sight of the good because I'm too focused on things that are going wrong or stressing me out, but I try to routinely remind myself of everything that's going right or that does make me happy.

Who’s the last person you hugged? Nan. I mentioned her in a recent survey. She's a volunteer at the shelter who does heaps of our dirty laundry. I don't know where we would be without her…probably suffocating beneath a mountain of stinky blankets and towels. Anyway, I went out to greet her the other day and she was like, "You're always smiling!" and gave me a hug. :')

Would you pay someone to kill the person who hurt you a lot? I would never do something like that. I wouldn't even wish death on any of the people who have hurt me. However, if there was some magical way to guarantee that I would never encounter those people again…I might take it.

Do you like the song ‘Sick Little Games’ by All Time Low? I've never heard it before; lemme go take a listen… It's alright, but it probably wouldn't make it onto my nonexistent playlist.

Last night you felt? Grateful for the day. I went to the Mountain Park with my dad and it was such a relaxing and nostalgic time. You know when the weather has a certain quality to it and it brings up all kinds of memories? Well, it was like that. I was also relieved that I didn't have to go to the shelter the following morning. My last few "weekends" were busy and exhausting and I spent the last one with an on/off headache, so it's just been nice to have two full days of chillin' and feelin' good.

How are you feeling right now? Tired but relaxed. Introspective. Twinges of dread/nervousness about tomorrow, but for no real reason (everything should be fine). Loving this cool and cloudy weather with its promise of fall.

Are you drifting away from someone you were close with? No.

Is there someone you’d like to fix things with? Yeah.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? Ehhh.

What are you listening to? Esther purring. She's curled up behind me on the computer chair.

Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Plenty of times.

What is in your pocket? My pockets are empty.

Have a best friend? I do.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? My best friend lives in California, so they're always doing things without me.

Do you keep any secrets from your best friend? They know most of my biggest secrets.

What were you doing 60 minutes ago? I had just arrived home from grocery shopping, made myself breakfast, and started browsing for a survey to take.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? My dad knows pretty much everything. There are a lot of things I haven't told my mom and probably never will.

What’s something that can always make you feel better? Aside from partaking in my favorite hobbies and doing things I enjoy, it's usually time that does the trick.

What do you want right now? Ugh. I just realized that one of my kitties might have another UTI. She gets them occasionally, so she's going to have to go to the vet later. :'(

What would you name your future son? I don't want children.

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Oatmeal.

How’s your life lately? Busy.

Last person to send you a text? My dad. I texted him on Tuesday to let him know I was on my way home from the shelter and he sent me a brief reply.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Eating breakfast while taking this survey.

Did you have a good birthday this year? Yeah. It was snowy, I spent the morning at the shelter, then went out to lunch with my parents.

Have you done anything embarrassing lately? I'm embarrassed by it, but was it actually embarrassing…? Idk. When I see other people get upset or vent about Diane, I don't think, "Oh my God, how embarrassing." I'm more like, "FVCKING SAMEEE!!!" Talking to Iris (manager) about it was excruciatingly awkward, but it's probably all in my head. As a manager, she's probably used to dealing with issues like that.

Do you trust easily? No. But like I've been saying - I don't know how much of that is a "me thing" versus the fact that I spend a lot of time around people I find to be untrustworthy. Maybe I would open up a lot more in a different environment.

Do you like cookies n’ cream ice cream? Yeah.

How often do you raise your hand in class and answer a question? I'm not in school anymore, but in the past, almost never.

Ever been mistaken for someone else, and took it as an insult? No.

Would you get a mega bag of skittles, or three regular ones? I'm not a big fan of Skittles.

What color shirt are you wearing? I've got on a black t-shirt, a sort of slate gray/blue long-sleeve shirt, and a pine green sweater.

Is there a boy that would do absolutely everything for you? Not in a romantic sense, but my dad is always there for me.

Did you ever think you had the Swine flu? Possibly.

Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? I smoke, but aside from myself, I'm not sure.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My dad.

Are you a mean person? No. I can be mean (selfish, thoughtless, etc), but I don't think I exhibit those qualities to the extent that I would be considered a "mean person."

Does anyone hate you? Idk.

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them? I really only feel comfortable expressing anger with my dad and my therapist. When it comes to other people, I tend to stuff it down until I inevitably explode - which was what happened with the Diane situation. It probably took everyone by surprise, including me! It's not like I woke up that day planning to go all scorched earth.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? No one.

Will this weekend be a good one? I hope so.

Have you ever liked someone older than you? Yeah.

Are you mad at someone right now? Ehhh.

[sergeisilence]

@siobhanhawthorne (hi, it's been a while! How is life? Do you still work at the same place?) tagged me, so...

name: pseudo is Sergei, I also use AL these days

pronouns: they/them (iel en français, avec les accords au neutre)

where do you call home: well I live in France, let's go with that. "Home" is... a place yet to come, let's say?

favorite animal: yeah I'm crap at making choices, so have a selection! Wolves whales and snakes, horses and cats and crows

cereal of choice: homemade granola, or when I can find it honey buckwheat cereal (sarrasin soufflé au miel, c'est trop bon les gens). I used to looove a brand cereal when I lived in Canada, I think it was honey nut cheerios or something? But they're apparently not available in france, so.

visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner: I had to look this one up, still not 100% sure what's kinesthetic learning? I learn best by doing and redoing, or by writing down stuff.

first pet: first family pet was a black and white cat called Plume ("feather")

favorite scent: the scent of a forest

do you believe in astrology: not really, but then I don't believe in much in terms of spirituality

how many playlists on spotify/apple music: I don't use any of these (I tend to buy CDs instead), on youtube I have like 15 playlists (and good addblockers)

sharpies or highlighters: neither? sometimes posca, but that's mostly to draw on skin (look it up first please, I have no clue if it's actually skin safe, I've just been doing it on myself for a while is all)

songs that make you cry: Cannelle by Kalune, One more light by Linkin Park, T'es beau by Pauline Croze, La Corde by VII

songs that make you happy: Uh, that's harder. I'll go with Keep Walking by Holokid for the joyful fuck you to transphobes, Permanent holiday by Mike Love for the hopeful light feeling, Run by Hozier because I rarely hear it and I love trying to sing it (it's so hard!), Famous last words by My Chemical Romance for the memories

do you write/draw/create: I craft, mostly. Weaving, basket making, and some sewing/crochet/embroidery.

If you feel like it, @trademarkhubris, @lumeha, @Imaed (why is it that I still can't tag you Belle?)

[darkestrellar]

5 MUSE THEME SONGS

When you get this, list theme songs for your muse and why (i.e. explanation, lyrics). Tagged by @jocundcompany, thank you!

I'm gonna kiiind of cheat since I just did a 5 songs meme yesterday, and listed some of the major Svern vibe songs there. So I'm going to take the chance to talk more about 4 of those and then swap out the last one for something else. Under readmore since it gets a bit long.

"NO ONE LIVES FOREVER" by Oingo Boingo

I once said this is the Svernest song to have songed. Because it is.

The sound? Chaotic and offputting. The tone? Snarky, carefree in a nihilistic way. The lyrics themselves? Svern's code for living, presented in four minutes. There's a reason why I use this song as the title for his blog.

Everything's temporary, and nothing matters half as much as you think it does. You don't know when you're gonna die, either, so you may as well muck around and have fun while you're still alive! Some of the words might seem free, but it never lets you forget that there is an inescapable end (and this isn't something that you can, or should bother trying to flee from).

Plus I want to use these lyrics when I make him a promo one day:

I'm so happy, dancing while the grim reaper cuts, cuts, cuts... But he can't get me! I'm as clever as can be, and I'm very quick But don't forget, we've only got so many tricks... No one lives forever!

"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN" by Set It Off

It's self-explanatory babey!!! This is literally his in-character tag!!!

This song is all about running, being too fast to catch, living on the edge and being unapologetic about it. It's a taunt, too. Other people can't keep up with him and he doesn't care! Go ahead and try to catch him, he's always going to be a step ahead of you. He doesn't give a crap. This one is the fun Svern "main theme" instead of the existential one.

I already posted the chorus lyrics, so...

I pull out every trick, I don't regret a thing, no You're running after me, chasing apologies When you can't get a grip I paved my path somewhere hard to follow Outplayed, outclassed, I said...

(Catch me if you can!)

"BE AFRAID OF WHO YOU ARE" by Euringer

A song about Kids With Issues. Pretty straightforward. (Can you identify which lines I used for tags and blog theme cameos...)

For a while I wasn't totally sold on the aggression in some of the lyrics, but after getting more sure in his character... yeah, it's fine. The general sound is again, kinda edgy and unhinged, which is always a win. There's something not right with you, isn't there? Something that makes you dangerous?

Svern says, yeah, there is. And you better watch out! This is a song for the side of him born from others' treatment of him for being flawed.

Now, off like a prom dress Live in the moment Embrace the darkness

Now, king of the misfits Lines on the mirror Off in the distance

"MISERY LOVES COMPANY" by Emilie Autumn

This is actually pretty new on the list. The original topic of the song isn't really applicable but you know how it is with making character playlists, you need to stretch things sometimes.

The tone is aggressive, unapologetic, and resentful. It sums up Svern's inner feelings toward most people pretty well. He doesn't like them.

He's with others on a regular basis, both because he has to be and because being around them gives him something (fills the void a bit)... but that doesn't mean he feels positively toward them, no, not at all. At all times he maintains a mistrustful, jaded distance inside himself.

Shoutout to these two sections in particular:

You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me You're so easy to read, but the book is boring, boring, boring...

Pray for me if you want to, pray for me if you care Pray for me if you want to, pray for me if you dare

"DREAM STATE" by Son Lux

Finally, the song that I chose to represent Svern's alt verse.

This song is about change. It opens with being impervious and invincible, goes through uncertainty and turbulence, and ends on a similar but different note with reminiscing about how things were in the beginning. Those days are gone; through everything that's happened, you've changed.

In the alternate verse, a catalyst sends Svern off the road he would otherwise, ordinarily, have gone down. He suffers a loss, experiences grief and confusion that he doesn't in his main verse, that he's never dealt with before, something he doesn't know how to handle, and the actions spurred by that change the course of everything else. The song's energy is driven, thoughtful and reaching, mirroring his mental and emotional journey.

And of course, the lyric I chose to use for the verse tag itself...

Out of the dark day, into the brighter night...

Love that light/dark theme. Not only is it aesthetically fitting, it also alludes to things diverging from their original course. It's not without suffering, but he ends up healthier here than if he'd continued on his original road.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://www.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/712178485232304128/hello-bud-i-wanted-to-drop-in-and-say-hi-i?source=share

Of course! Happy to have found you as well and I greatly appreciate our conversations too. It’s so cool to know there are people out there who enjoys the same stuff and music. I felt a bit alone for a long time, and it’s wonderful finding others out there!

Holy crap that Jorja song hits. My mood was Matilda, went home last week and my family set off me but I’m doing better now.

But it's the spring equinox! 💐🌼🌻🌷🌺🌸🌹🪷🐝🌼☀️🌞

I hope the start of spring brings you and everyone on here love and light, wonderful new beginnings, renewal, and growth! 

https://www.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/712247114164551681/mod-i-cant-slip-back-ive-made-too-much-progress?source=share 

I don’t know if this will help but when I get into that space I look at this graphic https://pin.it/7vTy8Ee I found on Pinterest to make me feel better.

I’ll throw this one in here to: https://pin.it/6nQkfoo 

And this is a good pep song: https://youtu.be/1Fv_L3G8PYQ 

I hope you and everyone on here has a wonderful week!! 

🎶

Awww. I feel you. I felt alone too. This blog has brought me some wonderful people. Some I’m friends with offline (well off anon I guess) and some I’d like to be better friends with offline.

Also that song is such a fucking ear worm. It’s looping around my mind all the time. Glad you liked. And Matilda? Bestie. I get family stuff. I’m glad you’re feeling better.

Yes to spring equinox! I need to get my post up. I’m hoping to work on that today.

Also I swear the frog with the mushroom cap I’ve seen on instagram. These are great sentiments. Sometimes I tell myself, look all we can do is try. All we can do is what we can do and it helps me a lot.

That fucking song! Yesssss. Thanks for sharing it. Adding it to my bad bitch playlist.

Hope you’re having a week as lovely as you. Mwah 💋

This is a picture from a night of magic I had recently. I’m sharing it with you and all my anons so we start off Aries season with the right intentions. More stepping into our power, more action, more confidence.

[kpophubb]

Good morning sunshine🧡💛💛💛

How did you sleep?

2:26 📨

Utube dilemma 👹

Lifestyle insp

Memories 🔐

Me if I were

US 🎵

lixie is sending u new pics ~~ 🫧 ; for good mood uuuu 🤘🏻🫵🏻💋 ;

volunteers to take care of you when I'm gone;;; I wanted to attach my piccc but I'm not pretty😭 I know you will argue, because of your angelic nature,

Wishing you as always I lovely day can a way to hear from you ~,hope to talk to you soon ❤️Wait for me❤️

* 🐁 🌙 * hope all the links are workin 🙈

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡..hi my darling!! First to tell you that all the links are working🥺 and I viewed everything and I’m so 💖💖 the felix smiling pics, voice message on bubbles, gyu kisses and gyu volunteer 🥹 how on earth are you soooo cute?? You always know how to make me smile <3

♡..I know many people find felix’s voice super sexy ( and I do too sometimes) but most times, it’s just so soothing and relaxing for me tbh. He’s my comfort person. I see him more as my ball of sunshine and my sweet dose of serotonin so hearing his voice always calms me down and relaxes me. Especially the good night messages and words of consolation. 🥺🤍

♡.. I liked our playlist, my love. I’ll be hearing all the songs soon (even tho some of them I already heard). I am so in love with the emojis you added as titles aww.

♡…my week has been so so¿ I mean at the beginning it was super fun bc I felt so active and healthy, my best friend came over at my place and we spent the whole day together 😍 and then the day after, it was my niece’s 6 months. So we had a home party w some guests and I dressed up and had a lot of fun with her! But then..I fell super sick and now my health and mood is all SO BAD I have been snapping at everything bc I feel like crap 💔

♡..your memories board is so cute..😭🤍 it’s melting my heart. I am so flattered and ngl my eyes feel watery at the amount of love you’re showing me. It feels so heart warming to see you have captured every detail of our conversation and I’m just🥹🥹 and Awwh! Yes 100% I’m real. If you ever wanna see me or hear my voice to confirm, let me know okay?? I don’t mind declaring to you confidently that you’re super precious to me and I’m and will always be here.

♡…I also take inspiration from YouTube videos..tiktok videos and mostly Pinterest! They all inspire me and motivate me for my dream self lol. I have 2 acc on Pinterest , one for kpop+ anime & the other one is my personal acc. It’s here if you’re interested to know more about me personally haha.

♡…I’m very happy to be here for you. I feel so glad I can make you feel safe and accepted cause that’s all I ever wanted to make you feel. 💛 I’m still glad I could be there during your bad times those months, and I could see you getting up. I can’t wait to be here for you through the rest of your growth.

♡..and oh my god anonie!! That’s scam!! Pls go reclaim your money baby. I can understand your feelings lmao, I’m always changing my looks or style bc it feels renewing kinda?! I’m sure you’d look great with perm! <3 I’d love for you to show me too. I’m someone who speaks up if someone infront of me is wronged but weirdly enough..when I’m wronged, I stay quiet? Idk I just let it go when it comes to me. But I’m so glad you have ambitions to portray Justice and stand up for people.

♡….it’s okay if every year you take resolutions or plan something and can’t make it sweetie. It happens. I’ve been trying to be where I am since 2020, but finally at the end of 2022 I achieved my goals. Life has its own pace. I’m sure you can be the boss lady you want. 🫶🏻 and pls don’t feel like you haven’t done enough in life or life is passing away without you having done anything remarkable. Im sure even if your past has been filled w traumas and bad memories and no real progress, in the future great opportunities and memories await you. I believe it, truly. 💗 people are truly truly bad and the world is so warped and cruel I agree, 100% and life isn’t sunshine and roses. But at the end, we just have to see the good in every situation (even tho there’s not always good everywhere) and find joy in the small things no matter how trivial and hard it might seem. Baby steps to get there, remember love? I pray you’re always surrounded by nice people from now on who truly make you believe in the magic that you are. 💙

♡… noo, your thoughts aren’t a mess. I love hearing your mind, it’s fascinating how you have a lot of thoughts about things around you. It’s admirable. It never creeps me out or bothers me, so please rest assured and keep telling me everything you feel like. I’d love to be your human diary! <3

♡…no you aren’t childish!! Using emojis are cute and I feel like they help you understand your emotions better behind the message and words. Or else it’d be easy to misinterpret your words. Like if you say “it’s okay” after someone apologises to you it might seem like they’re still mad at you and upset but if you say “it’s okay☺️💗” the other person might be relieved and believe that you guys are truly on good terms now.

♡..and no I don’t mind you being older !! Omg pls don’t feel uncomfortable and think I’ll ever shut you out. Age is just a number, love. And just bc you’re older doesn’t mean you have to feel pressurised to take care of me or anyone younger than you or be more reserved and act mature. To hell with all those stupid rules and obligations made by society. Who cares? Just be you. I love taking care of people, no matter if they’re older than me. I’ll accept you just the way you are so you don’t have to filter yourself for me. I know it’s easier to open up if you’re keeping some things about you to yourself and being anonymous cause you can’t be judged at all, so you can keep doing that. No pressure hun. Take as much time as you need. I’m not running away and never will.

♡… there was a time I believed in astrology but growing up, I stopped? I don’t know it feels very unreal to me. Do humans really have the ability to deduce the events of the future? Idk I’m quite skeptical. But it’s cool to check horoscopes and be interested in it. The quotes are by ours truly, felix. So here’s one for today. 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘ ♡♡♡

[nikibogwater]

ADHD Survival player here. I would like to preface by saying that you have nothing to prove. Minecraft is the sort of game where it's easy feel like you're doing it "wrong" or "not good enough," especially if you're comparing yourself to others. But there is no wrong way to play. Anything that makes you happy is good enough. A dirt house is just as beautiful as an End Stone mansion if the person who built it is happy with it. Plenty of people play exclusively in Creative Mode. It's not a knock against their gaming skills, that's just where they have the most fun. That being said, if you really do enjoy Survival Mode, here's the stuff that helps me stick with it:

Building on a smaller scale. I can't stick with mega builds that take hundreds of hours to complete, and feeling disappointed in myself for not finishing a project makes the game a miserable experience. So instead I focus on making my small builds as pretty as possible. I get the feeling of accomplishment from completing a project without having to torture myself for it.

Plan all builds in Creative first. Experimenting with colors and shapes is a chore in Survival, and one that you can easily circumvent by testing your ideas in a Creative world first. Once I'm happy with a design, I take screenshots from multiple angles to use as blueprints, then hop into my Survival World and get to gathering/building.

Grinding for resources can be a pain, even when building at a smaller scale, so I have a playlist of upbeat music that I turn on whenever I need to mine a ton of stone or something.

Taking breaks. If I don't feel like working on a particular build, then I go exploring, or tend to my farms, or whatever else I feel like doing at the moment. You don't have to do everything in one fell swoop.

Organizing my crap. Behold my illustrious storage room:

I do not give myself an "overflow" or "to be sorted later" chest because I know if I gave myself that option, it'd be the same as having no organization whatsoever. The signs make unloading my items into their appropriate chests much quicker, and since I keep my builds small, I can keep my storage system compact and efficient. Setting it up isn't the most exciting activity, but it saves me SO much stress in the long-run.

Survival Mode necessitates a certain amount of practical function in certain builds. For example, when I build a house, I have to take into account things like lighting, fire hazard, blast resistance, and floorspace for Enchanting/Crafting setups. I can't just keep my cows in a pit in the ground, they need a cute little corral with a barn and decorative hay bales! Yes I am still butchering them for food and leather, but at least I'm doing it somewhere pretty. Finding that balance between form and function gives me a very specific feeling of satisfaction, and that's where most of my Survival Mode enjoyment comes from.

Treating my Survival worlds as escapist retreats from real life. When I boot up the game, I want to be dropped in an area that helps me relax, helps me feel safe, and distracts me from the monotony of routine with pretty colors and interesting environments. Sometimes I don't even build anything when I log in. I just sort of Exist in the space that I made for myself. And when I do build, it's always with the goal of creating something that I will enjoy coming back to at the end of a stressful day. I love a good adventure in the Deep Dark, or scouring the high seas for Sniffer Eggs, but the best part of any play session is arriving back home in my little corner of this infinitely generated world.

the inherent executive dysfunction of minecraft survival mode

(seriously if any adhd folk Can Function in survival and have tips. please let me know)

[sugarcause]

helloooo!! if it’s not too much trouble, could i request some fluffy crack hcs (like if they hog the blankets when you sleep, cling onto you super tight the entire time, say/do the funniest shit when they’re tired, just basically rlly domestic but funny realistic stuff dksjdjfjw) with beidou, childe, kaeya and hu tao?

- 🍉

fluffy crack hcs with beidou, childe, kaeya, hu tao ✉

includes: beidou, childe kaeya, hu tao precis: it might be a bit annoying sometimes but it's endearing enough so it's fine! take note of: fluff, attempted humor, LOWKEY DK IF THIS IS FLUFF, modern au reader gender: gn <3 voice mail: this was so cute 🍉! enjoy^

❦ beidou

- kitchen food wars. the worst wars are when you're baking. the flour and various powders... have fun cleaning! the outcome is always fun tho and you bet she takes note of how many wins and loses you both have.

- has definitely spilt multiple bottles of wine before. not simultaneously ofc, just in total. she's a very expressive person and can get absorbed in her stories that she doesn't notice that some glass bottle is right next to her moving arm.

- says random crap when tired. says the most OUTLANDISH things, it reaches a fantasy level. she also remembers nothing she says. ''so what happened to the goldfish on the floor yesterday?" "what goldfish?" "the one you were telling me about last night..."

- always uses your charger. either hers is lost or not accessible. she gives the vibes. sometimes you have to fight for custody rights of YOUR OWN charger.

- has a heated blanket that the two of you just lay under. she uses it even on hot days but it's so comfy and domestic you can't complain.

❦ childe

- clings onto you tightly the ENTIRE NIGHT. doesn't care if it's hot, he's clinging onto you like a koala. he just likes holding you close :( if you try to kick him off, he'll whine and immediately grab onto you. if you wake up earlier than him, he'll try his best to keep you in bed.

- he can't sing, but he likes to. bursts into song at random intervals and you can't help but join him. he looks really happy when you two duet together. sofas are you stage and that random comb is your new mic.

- loses stuff a lot. ''hey, where did i put those scissors?" be prepared to be his assistant so often you actually start tracing his steps unconsciously.

- no sense of personal space. walks in on you and is shameless about it. door closed? it's open now! and it will stay open! HE DOES NOT CLOSE DOORS. GRRRRRRR. will walk in randomly to give you a kiss or hug tho!

- midnight snacks. if you wake up during one of his escapades, you have a whole midnight home date with lots of snacks. don't be alarmed if you wake up to find your food missing or dishes in the sink.

- spontaneous living room dances.

(bonus: walks around shirtless a lot)

❦ kaeya

- breaks cups. that's it. i can't explain. he just gives off that energy. drops them, shatters them, knocks them off a surface accidentally. "where's that mug?" "oh the one i broke the other day?"

- probably told you he'd try to make some fancy cocktail. it failed miserably. not that he can't cook, he just isn't a bartender. he either followed a youtube video or website and the 2 of you had a drink taste test together. needless to say there was a lot of room for improvement.

- hogs the blanket. i'm sorry. he just does. he's not even that affected by the cold, he just likes the feeling. he'll give you a big, warm hug the next day though!

- eats your food. 'what's yours is his and vice versa'. if you're not territorial about your food, great! if you are, he's a nightmare. maybe try a lock pad next?

- has tried to wear your clothes. doesn't matter if you're bigger or smaller than him, he's tried to make your clothes fit. does it when and when you are not home. if he executes a 'met gala level' look, be prepared to help him have a whole photoshoot.

- you two have a skin care routine together. that's all i have to say. (you also have a skin care playlist with a bunch of dramatic songs you guys dance to)

(bonus: walks around shirtless a lot pt.2)

❦ hu tao

- befriends the ghosts nearby. oh you didn't know about the nice old lady ghost next door? do you want to meet her? they don't harm you, there may be a few pesky ones but she has it under control!

- also befriends the local animals. it's really cute! stray cats might walk into your residence, but it's still cute! they all have names for sure and she feeds them <3 their names were made in the moment but dw, a few are definitely named after you. "awww look! match stick likes you!" "???"

- plays small pranks on you. probably does those food pranks, or changes your phone settings, or any fun simple prank. she's just in a silly goofy mood!! many of her pranks are spontaneous and they might even involve the animals.

- has an annoying ass alarm and doesn't shut it off. she never wakes up to her alarm, even if it's blasting loudly but YOU do, so ofc, you lay in bed and listen to it ring until you gather the energy to actually get up and turn it off.

- has a never ending supply of funny videos to show you.

- orders food at random. she forgets she ordered too and suddenly when you ask about it, she goes rushing for the payment. but she always gets something that you like <3

I GOT THE FEELS FOR YOU OH OH OH YOU HAVE STOLEN MY HEART OH YEA

[hatchi-matchii]

HEADCANONS BCUZ THE BESTIE @ijustwantaferetnamedcaseyjrjr DID IT AND I LOVED IT <3

Leo loves any and all types of music. He can find at least one song he likes in literally every genre. This sort of goes for country music, but he only really enjoys like one or two classics. (and Hell’s Coming With Me)

Donnie doesn’t sleep much, but when he does, you’d have to have a freight train to wake him.

Raph hates silence. If a room is too quiet, or he’s left alone too long, he gets fidgety and anxious. This collides with donnie- who often LOVES silence.

Going off the last one, donnie loves silence most of the time, but he also doesn’t like a lot of the noises from constructing his tech, so he absolutely blasts either 80s jams or ear-bleeding dubstep. Or lemon demon.

All the brothers can tell what Donnie’s feeling by what music is blasting from his speakers in his lab. He has a playlist for every mood.

Leo has two playlists: one for jamming out and one for being sad. You can never really tell how he feels by his music however, since he’ll sometimes turn on the happy one to get him out of a bad mood.

Leo loves pasta. And rice. And bread. And-

Pretty much he just likes carbs. Help him.

Raph loves soup, but donnie is absolutely disgusted at the thought of all the foods touching and mixing together in the broth. On soup nights donnie makes a grilled cheese without butter. (His favorite non-snack snack)

Mikey used to be a really picky eater, until he discovered that if he cooked it himself, he could make everything just the way he wanted it. This grew into a life-long passion of discovering and learning to cook new things all the time.

As a tot, Leo would just eat random crap. Literally anything that looked remotely tasty.

Leo taught himself to be the medic by using the internet, he felt like he needed to learn to heal his brothers and himself- they were constantly getting injured. C o n s t a n t l y.

Donnie would be a good medic as well, except he can’t stand the sight of any “gross” wounds. He learned the basics from Leo though, not wanting to admit that Leo was more fit for anything.

Leo hates sheets. If it’s not a fuzzy blanket or quilt, he doesn’t want it.

Donnie however, loves sheets. Especially the high-quality ones April bought him, he says they feel like sleeping on clouds if clouds were actually silky.

When sad or upset, mikey seeks out the nearest brother and just curls up next to them.

Raph loves cuddles, but he’s always afraid to scratch someone with his snapper scales and spikes.

As kids, leo and Donnie had one of those little plastic kiddie pools in the lair, they’d go there to submerge themselves and calm down.

Donnie would lie on top of the water with his face submerged, much like a corpse.

This scared the shit out of raph and splinter on multiple occasions, especially with how long Donnie can hold his breath.

I’ve done too many already so I’m gonna stop here for now :) comment if you want some more of these, or suggestions for a theme or something

[empressofdiamonds]

hi, any tips how to level up as a college student? im like broke :(( all these levelling up tips i read needed some cash or something especially if i wanted to improve my appearance etc

I have some tips

BEAUTY&HEALTH

If you don't workout, start by doing that. There's YouTube playlists with whole workouts, from yoga to HIIT. You can do workouts on bare ground, it's gonna be uncomfortable sometimes tho.

Adopt healthy habits while on campus, skip the coffee unless necessary, skip the sugar crap, drink your water, take the stairs instead of the elevator et cetera. Small changes seem meaningless but they compound.

Instead of ramen go for potatoes. Better nutriment content and way less salt, potatoes are very cheap and can be prepped lots of ways. Salt in heavy amounts is gonna make you feel like crap then look like crap.

Focus on REGULARITY in your skincare and beauty routine. No need to buy the expensive 100$ retinols, it can be later, right now focus on doing your moisturizer everyday. And your washing routine as well!

Body massages are free. Do them yourself with your usual body moisturizer or bare hands. Olive oil can do in a pitch but you gotta shower afterwards.

Look at free group ativities your school offers. Can be yoga, Zumba, hikes, etc. Socialization is also gonna be really helpful for wellbeing.

WELLBEING

Therapy is fucking EXPENSIVE and that's understandably not accessible for your average student. Often campuses offer free or low-cost mental health resources, sometimes you gotta search for it.

Just don't do drugs. Not weed, either. You are broke, why wanna make yourself even more broke? They fuck with your academic performance too.

Focus on ROUTINE. Laundry Sundays, Chill Fridays, everyday you tidy up a bit, you fold away clothes while you listen to YouTube lectures, you meal prep good meals. I am not asking you to emulate the "THAT girl" routine but have something that's REGULAR and consistent so you get some structure around your life. It sounds real stupid but us humans LOVE structure and we thrive with it.

If you don't have classes that day, planify some fixed time activity. NEVER have planless days! For the why, see previous point.

For procrastination, see my posts about procrastination. TLDR: Save yourself future anxiety that's gonna handicap you even more, a shitty work is better than no work, the teachers have seen all kinds of crap and yours is probably gonna be better than the worst.

Socialization is like the most easy stupid médecine. If you feel uneasy or in the gutter call someone or text someone. Not necessarily to dump your stresses on them but just to talk about whatever. Distraction + the other person will be happy to know about you. Go talk to friends during breaks instead of scrolling on Tiktok, check out clubs, go to teacher's desk hours to ask questions then add a lil bit of conversation.

Doing the best you legitimately can give at that moment is amazing. It is way better than nothing. So even if you don't feel at your full potential, do your best, that's it. Just that.

Free ebooks. B-ok(dot)cc is totally illegal. Pick books based on what uneases you're feeling. Reading about others experiences is gonna be helpful, making you feel less lonely.

NETWORKING

Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. The best book for women abt network, adresses common mistakes women do. Read it. .

Friendships ARE networking. Some people think that networking is like this intimidating thing but IT IS JUST MAKING FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTACES. Just go to people to just fucking talk about stuff then the networking aspect comes later when you need it. When you approach people with SOLE idea if networking people gonna be put off by you. Just go socialize and have fun and that's it. Jeez.

Social media is a good way to track your network but the work starts in the ground, not online. Go meet people, just small talk, have fun, ask questions, etc. Friend requests on Facebook then radio silence is NOT networking.

For the love of God, go find yourself some clubs! It's gonna be beneficial for your health, it's easy, you make friends, you have fun. Then see previous points.

[lunar-roses-blog]

⚘☽☽☽ 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕔 𝕄𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕔 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟛 ☾☾☾⚘

⚘☽ Divination ☾⚘

One of the things that you can do with music is divination. The most commonly known form involving music is known as shufflemancy. Shufflemancy in this context is divination by use of songs, melodies, etc., in the form of a playlist. It is not a widely used form of divination, and it is also not an ancient form either, as it uses technology. So how do you do shufflemancy? Well first, you will need a playlist - keep in mind that you control this playlist, it is yours and you control what goes in and out of it. Once you get your playlist, you will want to choose a question (best to stay away from yes/no questions). Then you will want to pick a number. This can be a number between 1 and 10, 1 and 100, really any number between 1 and x number. For this scenario let's go with the number 6. Keeping in mind the question you want answered, you shuffle the number of times you picked, in this case I chose 6, so I would shuffle the playlist 6 times. Whatever song it lands on in the last shuffle will be the song that you will need to interpret for your question. Keep in mind that you will most likely want to listen to the entire song for the answer to your question - the title of the song might not be the whole message. Sometimes it’s not the entire song, but certain parts of the lyrics, like the main chorus of a song. It’s not just the song that needs to be interpreted, but also the feelings that the song invokes as well - if it makes you happy, upset, frustrated, etc.

⚘☽ Cleansing & Banishing ☾⚘

Music can be used to cleanse and banish anything unwanted from your space. This can be done in a number of ways, keeping in mind that banishing is a more aggressive side of cleansing. For either one you can use just about any music you wish, the goal is to annoy the unwanted so much it drives them nuts and out of your house. For example, playing a 10 hour long youtube video of baby shark at top volume with your phone hooked to some speakers, or better yet your tv if you're able. You want to play something that the entity won’t like, so if the entity happens to like baby sharks then I guess you’ll want to consider something else. Another thing to maybe try here is bells. Bells are an amazing way of banishing an entity, whether you are just ringing the bell back and forth with no rhyme or reason, or you are playing a song on the bells. No matter the method you use, you want to make it as loud and as obnoxious as possible.

⚘☽ Meditation ☾⚘

Meditation helps with the lowering of blood pressure, heart rate, etc. In order to peacefully meditate, you have to be able to lower your blood pressure and heart rate, and even out your breathing, along with easing your muscles. Music has been proven in studies to help with this! Well, what kind of music is best for mediation? It really depends on the person, but usually you would want something on the calmer side - maybe something instrumental, or with a slower tune in the background to help calm the mind. Keep in mind that your idea of what music is calming is NOT going to be the same as another person's idea of what is calming music. A side note here: When you type in youtube for relaxation music, most of those videos claiming to help sleep, and relax, and meditate are a load of crap - but not all of them are, and there are some really good ones out there! You have to find what is right for you.

⚘☽ Offerings ☾⚘

Music can be used as an offering to Gods or other beings. You can make the music yourself, or pick a song that you feel fits the situation. There are a few popular examples of music as offerings. Priests in Catholic churches often sing their prayers when they can. Anytime a congregation sings a hymn, it can be seen as a form of prayer. In reference to the intro to music, The Hurrian Hymns were made as an offering to the Goddess Nikkal-wa-lb. You can offer music to any God or other being.

⚘☽ Manifestation ☾⚘

This was a particularly fun wormhole to fall down, but according to what I have read so far, music can help with manifesting. This is because music amplifies our feelings and moods, and strengthens our vibrations and energies. This higher energies help to attract things you are wanting to attract. Certain songs can attract different things. For example, affirming songs can manifest positivity, luck, etc.

⚘☽ Mood & Motivation ☾⚘

Many people use music to boost or lower their mood, or motivate themselves. This applies to the youngest children still in the womb to grown adults to elderly people on their deathbed. We see little kids in daycare, singing the “clean up” song to motivate them to clean up the room they are in. We see people using music to motivate themselves out of bad moods, whether it helps them to be more productive at work, or drag themselves out of a depressive episode. We see people playing their loved one’s favorite music before they pass away, as the sense of hearing is many times the last one to go, and it makes the ill patient happy to hear their songs. Music calms the nervous system and lower cortisol levels which helps reduce stress and calm the mind. Listening to music that gives you chills or that you really, really enjoy releases dopamine. Listening to music that is sad can help to elevate mood, but some say it can be counteractive because it can also trigger depressive episodes.

[wayward-dreamer]

Life’s Lessons - Be My Valentine?

AO3 Link: Read here

Square Filled: Squirting

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader

Word count: 8,770 (oops. Sorry).

Rating: Explicit 18+!

Summary: It’s Dean and Y/N’s first Valentine’s Day, and he has a romantic evening planned, with surprises which he can’t wait to share with her.

Warnings: So much fluff. Like, so much. Dean being sweet and romantic (yes, that’s a warning). And then so much smut. Swearing, Dirty talk, D/S elements, Dom!Dean, Sub!Reader, Oral Sex (Female receiving), Vaginal fingering, Squirting, Gags, Brief impact play (belt), Restraints (belt), Brief spanking, Unprotected sex (wrap it up before you tap it, guys), Rough sex. More fluff.

Music: Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton (Dean and Y/N street scene)

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist 

Created for @spnkinkbingo

A/N: The first time stamp*! Wooo! I’m so excited for you guys to read it, I really hope you love it, because I sure had a great time writing these two again, all loved up and ready to celebrate Valentine’s Day! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

*This is a time stamp for my series Life’s Lessons so it’ll make more sense if you’ve read that first, but I do think it can enjoyed as a sweet and smutty Valentine’s Day fic! ;)

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics

Dean stood at the kitchen bench and smirked as he stared down at the date on his phone. The coffee brewed in the machine behind him, as sunlight streamed in through the little picture window. It the most important date on the calendar that all couples go through, and he was excited.

It was February 14th. Valentine’s Day. The designated day you show the person you love most how much they mean to you. This time around was going to be the most special this little holiday had ever been for him, because this time around he had a woman who was truly, undoubtedly, his.

Y/N was the woman he had been waiting for and he couldn’t wait to make tonight a great night for both of them.

As he poured himself a cup of coffee and some for her in a travel mug, Y/N walked into the kitchen, dressed in a tight, high-waisted pastel pink skirt and white shirt, with a small white with pink polka dots scarf tied into a bow under the collar of the shirt. Her hair was in a high ponytail and she had her red glasses on. Dean felt his body heat up, knowing how much he enjoyed her fulfilling his teacher fantasy, so much so that whenever she got dressed for work, he always needed to calm himself down.

Y/N smiled at him as she walked over, kissing him softly as he slid a plate across the bench, some toast and a little bacon which he had already made, ready for her.

“Thank you,” she said, kissing him again before digging into her breakfast.

“No problem.” He smiled as he leaned against the bench, facing her. He continued to drink his coffee as she ate, both of them in content silence.

“I’ve got a half day today,” he informed her. “Ready to take you out tonight and tomorrow off, too.”

She smiled, unable to hide how excited she was for their night out. He was being incredibly secretive, and she was dying to know.

She ate quickly, washing up her plate once she was done. As she walked away from the sink, she laughed as Dean took her hand in his, pulling her against him. Whenever they had a few spare moments in the morning, this is how they spent it.

“So… what are you planning?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck as she looked up at him.

He smirked, shaking his head as his hands rested on her hips. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out later.”

She frowned, a small pout forming on her lips. “There’s no such thing as secrets on Valentine’s Day.”

She knew it wasn’t true, but she just wanted him to tell her what he was planning so that she could coordinate her lingerie accordingly.

“Babe, don’t start making crap up just because you’re curious.” He called her out, throwing his head with a boisterous laugh as she stared at him, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open in shock.

“Well, then I guess it’s just going to be you and your hand tonight,” she threw back, feigning upset.

“Hey,” he warned, staring down at her as he pulled her closer. “Do that and you won’t find out what I have planned.”

“Fine,” she sighed, as she rolled her eyes. Looking at him, the frown returned but with a playful glint in her eyes. “You’re really annoying, sometimes.”

“I know,” he shrugged with a grin. “But you love me.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, unable to pretend anymore. “Fortunately.”

“Very fortunately,” he said, leaning down to kiss her softly. He bent down further, kissing her neck which made her groan, sadly.

“I’m going to be late for work,” she said, pushing him away slightly.

He moved back down, attaching his mouth to her neck again. “I was about to give it to ya good and proper, sweetheart,” he mumbled against her skin, between kisses.

She laughed as she lightly pushed him again, kissing him softly on his pout. “You can do that tonight. A good, proper,” she kissed him again, “hard, rough,” another kiss, “fucking of a lifetime.”

He groaned, closing his eyes as he thought about what he had planned for them. She really had no idea what was going on and he was excited for her to find out.

“You’re so on, baby,” he muttered, before pulling her into a searing kiss.

She reluctantly pulled away from him, frowning. “I better go.”

“See you tonight,” he said, smirking at her.

“I can’t wait,” she smiled, leaning in and kissing him again.

Dean watched on as Y/N picked her bag and slung it over her shoulder, grabbing her keys in her hand. She slipped on her nude heels as she picked up her fawn coat, turning and blowing him a kiss before walking out the door. He smirked as he thought about what she just said, and how he could incorporate it into the night he had planned. After she had made his birthday one that he would never forget, he didn’t want to wait for so long until hers to do the same.

Luckily, the most romantic day of the year was upon them, and it was the perfect opportunity to make it a memorable night for both of them. He had never really believed in a day to celebrate love, considering he never had much luck with it in the past, but now he was thankful to whoever decided to profit from February 14th and made it a big deal.

Dean got ready for the day and headed to work. He was happy knowing there wasn’t much to do that day with his half day of work. He was relieved when Y/N had managed to take leave for the next day just like him, knowing that his plan would succeed. After the big restoration job that he had told her about months ago had been paid them in full by the customer, they were doing amazingly well at the garage. It had been a lot of money and there was more than enough to go around. Dean was able to pull out all the stops for the night. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face at work, getting questioning looks from Benny, Garth, some of the other guys and even Ellen. The guys teased him all day, but he paid no attention to it. If they had a woman as wonderful as he did, they’d have a huge smile on their face all day too.

Y/N smoothed down her maroon, velvet, off-shoulder, knee-length dress as she looked at herself in the mirror. She had contemplated the style for a long time in the store a few days ago, wondering if she should go for a brighter red or shorter, but this caught her eye straight away. She just hoped Dean would like it. She also hoped he would like her strapless bra and panties set, of the same dark colour. She kept her eye make-up simple but went with a slightly dark red shade for the lipstick, and gave her hair a slight wave, sweeping it over one shoulder. She gave herself a nod as she smiled at her complete look in the mirror.

Y/N heard the front door opening, signalling that Dean had arrived, even if he was a little early. With one last check in the mirror, she picked up the gift she had for him from her bed and walked out of her room, her black heels clacking on the wooden floors. As soon as she saw him, her heart skipped a beat. He wore black dress pants and loafers, with a maroon sweater. He looked so unbelievably gorgeous that she just had to stand there for a few more seconds to appreciate him. He had his hands behind his back, and she knew it had to be something for Valentine’s Day.

“Who clued you in on maroon?” she laughed as she approached him.

“I… may have snuck a peek in the bag when you brought it home,” he replied, smirking as he took her in. She looked incredible and he was going to have a hard time keeping things PG for the first part of the night. “You look amazing.”

“Not so bad yourself, handsome,” she whispered against his lips as she leaned in and kissed him, softly. “This is very couple-y of us, though” she joked.

He shrugged, laughing. “It’s Valentine’s, baby.”

With that, he brought his arms forward, showing her the bouquet of lilies (she wasn’t a fan of roses; too overrated) and the heart-shaped box, no doubt filled with little chocolates.

“Be my Valentine?” he asked, chuckling.

She shook her head, laughing at his goofiness. “Of course.” She took the items from him and handing him his.

He smiled as he took it, quickly unwrapping the red wrapping around the small box. Opening it, he lifted the coffee mug out, smirking at the design. It was him and Y/N in animated form, with her leaning in to kiss his cheek, a little heart above their heads.

“That’s cute,” he said, smiling at her.

“It’s not too cheesy, is it? We said things that didn’t cost much, and this was relatively inexpensive. All I had to do was give the artist a picture of us, and she did the rest,” she explained, wondering if he really did like it and wasn’t just making her feel better.

“No, it’s not. I love it, really,” he reassured her.

She leaned in, happily letting him cup her face in his hands and pull her into a steamy kiss. It was over quicker than she would’ve liked, but as she looked into his eyes, she noticed a spark that wasn’t there before.

“Okay… put those in water and then pack a bag. Just essentials, clothes for tomorrow, that’s it” he instructed, rubbing his hands together.

She frowned, blinking a few times as she made sure she heard him right. “What?”

“Part of the surprise,” he said, not giving her anything else as he gestured to his watch.

“Okay…” she huffed as she snapped out of her trance, her mind reeling as she tried to figure out where he was taking her.

After putting the lilies in a small vase with water, Y/N went into her room and quickly packed a bag. Just her skincare and clothes for the next day were all she needed. She really had no idea what Dean was doing or where he was taking her, but she was now even more restless to find out.

Walking back into the living area, she saw Dean waiting by the door. He smirked as he reached for her bag, dragging it out for her as she picked up her purse and put on her black coat, locking the door behind her. Dean put her case in the trunk and then proceeded to open the passenger door for her. She snuck a quick kiss before she sat, putting her purse in her lap. Dean was on the driver’s side in a flash, quickly taking his seat and starting the engine.

“So… still no hint?” she asked, smiling through her impatience.

“Nope,” he replied, popping the ‘p’.

“Fine,” she sighed, sitting back in her seat properly as Dean pulled away from the curb.

She decided to stop asking. He always said he wasn’t great with romantic gestures but that he was trying with her, and she really appreciated that about him. He was expanding his comfort zone even though he didn’t have to. He wanted to.

They asked each other about their days as Dean drove towards the city. The anticipation for their night was overwhelming, and he was glad that Y/N kept talking. No doubt distracting herself just as much as him. As they reached their destination, he saw her eyes light up as he parked the car outside the restaurant, their first stop.

“Dean!” she exclaimed as she turned to him. “This is already too much! More than what we agreed on!”

He smirked, knowing that the fancy Italian place was one that she had wanting to go to for a while. It was definitely pricey, but his latest customer was making tonight possible. He really had to find a way to thank the guy.

“Not tonight it’s not.” He winked at her as he opened his door and got out of the car, a squeak coming from the hinges as he shut it.

He walked around the front and to her side, opening the door for her. Y/N couldn’t believe her eyes as she stood up and looked at the building, suddenly launching herself into Dean.

“I’ve told you before; I don’t need all of this to make me happy. You know that, right?” she asked, frowning slightly. She was worried that he may feel like he needed to do this just to make things special.

“Yeah, I do, sweetheart,” he replied, as he pulled back slightly from their embrace to look at her. “But if I can afford it, then why the hell not?”

“And you’re sure you can?” she asked, a frown still etched on her face.

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. “Yes! Y/N, we wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t. We did fucking great because of that big restoration job. Trust me.”

He had to wonder how she would react for the next part of the surprise if she was already shocked by the restaurant. Hopefully once he reassured her it was fine, and that he wasn’t doing this when he couldn’t afford it, she would relax.

“Okay.” A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth before it grew.

Dean smiled wide as he saw her face light up. He held out his hand for her, ready to start their night. “Let’s go.”

Y/N took Dean’s hand instantly, linking their fingers together as they walked to the entrance of the Italian restaurant. As they made their way in and Dean gave them his name, they were immediately led to a table in the back, away from most of the chatter of patrons. Dean helped Y/N with her coat, draping it over the back of her chair, doing the same with his. She smiled as she sat down across from him, causing him to smile back. His eyes wandered up and down as he looked at her, taking in her beauty. She always looked stunning, no matter whether it was casual or a bit dressier.

A waiter brought over the wine list, which Dean discreetly handed over to Y/N considering that wasn’t something he knew anything about. She gave him a wink as she looked over several pages before deciding. Dinner was far more delicious than either of them were expecting, so between the great wine and even better food, Dean was very happy he brought her here.

Once dinner was cleared, and the chocolate cake they ordered to share for dessert arrived (after he lamented that there was no pie), Dean let her dig in first as he folded his arms on the table, watching her. He smirked as she stabbed a piece with the fork and held it out to him. He winked at her as he took the bite, seeing her visibly shiver. He chuckled to himself as he chewed, watching her drop her head and focus on the cake.

“Stop,” she laughed, trying to avoid his intense gaze. He was trying to kill her; she knew he was.

“Can’t,” he said, joining in with her laughter.

They both continued to devour the cake until there wasn’t even a crumb left, both sitting back as the waiter cleared the plate and glasses.

After paying, Dean took Y/N’s hand in his and left the restaurant. Their walk down the street turned into a relaxed stroll, enjoying the glow of the city lights despite the cold weather of February. As they continued towards the car, a group of street musicians was playing, also not bothered by the chill in the air. As they continued to play, Dean slowly spun Y/N around, causing her to laugh in surprise at his sudden gesture. His hands slipped down to her waist and pulled her close as he began to sway them to the music, looking into her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck, refusing to break her gaze away from him. The slow melody of the familiar song caused them to get lost in each other, blocking out the noise of the street and cars rushing by.

In his arms, Y/N felt safe. She felt as if nothing bad could happen to her, ever again. She felt like Dean would always be there to hold her up and never let her fall. He would never hurt her, knowing her past and making sure she never felt that way ever again. She thanked all forms of a higher power every day for bringing this man into her life.

In her arms, Dean had never felt more loved. With her, he had everything he ever wanted in life. Love, comfort, passion – feeling wanted. Someone who would never make him feel any less than he was. He knew how lucky he was to have her.

Dean leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, the kiss becoming deeper and more passionate as he pulled her a little closer. Y/N’s hands combed into his hair at the back of his head as she kissed him. After a moment, Dean pulled away from her caress, his breathing slightly heavier.

“Come on,” he grinned, moving away from her and taking her hand in his again, leading her down the street.

As he drove, Dean’s mind kept swimming with possibilities of what would happen next. He looked over at Y/N, smiling at her as she gazed up at the city lights from the window, completely oblivious to the thoughts that were going through his head. He watched as she frowned, the destination now right in front of them. She looked up at the sign, gasping loudly. He had brought them to one of the best hotels in the city and her heart began to beat just a little faster.

“Oh my god!” she yelled, looking at him as he pulled into the valet parking of the hotel. He got out and walked over to the trunk, taking out her small suitcase and pulling it for her, as she got out of the car.

Y/N stood in shock as she watched him warn the valet about the car, and then hand over the keys. As the Impala rolled away towards the main parking, she looked at Dean and shook her head as she walked over to him.

“Dean, this is-” she started but he stopped her as he took her hand and tugged on it, softly.

“Save it for upstairs, sweetheart.” He smirked as he brought her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

They walked towards the entrance, a doorman opening the glass door for them.

“Where’s your stuff?” she asked, as she suddenly noticed he lacked an over-night bag.

“I checked us in during the day after work, before I picked you up,” he replied, as he walked them through the huge lobby and towards the elevators.

Y/N marvelled as she looked around. Her stomach flipped as she couldn’t believe she was in such a swanky place.

The elevator arrived; announced by a soft ding as the doors opened. Dean stepped in with Y/N by his side, pressing the button for their floor. Y/N looked over at him, unable to contain her smile as the elevator moved up the floors. Dean leaned over, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her, passionately. She hummed as she grabbed the lapels of his black coat, pulling him closer. They broke away from each other, however, when the elevator stopped, letting in another couple. They were slightly older and both of them grimaced as they witnessed the young couple with their lips locked. It was the clichéd scene you would see in every rom-com or steamy romance, but neither of them cared.

Once they reached their floor, they left the elevator and walked down the hallway. Dean walked a little ahead of Y/N, wheeling her suitcase behind him. He reached their room, taking out the room card and sliding it in, the beep and green light signalling he could open the door. Y/N walked in, as he held it for her and quickly slipped the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign onto the handle, closing the door behind her.

If Y/N was smiling before, then she was practically beaming as she walked further into the room. The big window overlooked the gardens outside, and the room held a chic armchair with Dean’s brown leather duffle sitting on it, a round ottoman in front the armchair, a large bed with crisp white sheets, big pillows and royal blue cushions. Rose petals were scattered over the sheets with a tray that held little chocolates, an ice bucket with a bottle of Champagne and two champagne glasses on it, at the centre of the bed.

Y/N’s felt Dean’s arms wrap around her waist as he stood behind her, pulling her close to his body. She sighed contently, leaning her head against his chest.

“I know you’re not a fan of roses, but this is all they had,” he informed her, softly in her ear.

She shook her head, turning around to face him and instantly wrapping her arms around his neck. “It’s perfect. I love it so much.”

“Yeah?” he asked, a small smile on his face.

“Yes,” she sighed, smiling up at him. “I love you so much, Dean Winchester. Thank you for tonight. Thank you for loving me.”

“Well, you make it real easy, sweetheart,” he said, smirking.

“You make it easy to love you, too,” she whispered against his lips, and kissed him once, twice.

“So… champagne?” he asked, grinning.

“Yes,” she replied, without missing a beat.

Dean moved away from her, shrugging off his coat and draping it over the armchair. Y/N took off her coat and hung it up in the closet, taking a chance to look around the room. She wandered into the bathroom, biting her lip to keep from grinning as she saw the bathtub filled with water and rose petals along the surface. She fully intended to make use of it later. The bathroom also had another ice bucket and champagne with glasses kept near the tub, along with some chocolate covered strawberries, making her shiver at the possibilities of what could happen.

Y/N walked back out to the main part of the room, watching Dean open the wrapping from the top of the champagne bottle. He held the bottle carefully as he twisted the cork, letting out a “son of a bitch!” when it popped loudly. He poured some in each glass and handed her one as he took the other, his other hand slipping into hers. They looked into each other’s eyes as they clinked their glasses together.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N,” he said, smirking.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Dean,” she sighed, her eyes sparkling with love as she looked at him.

As they both took a few sips, it was clear that no matter how great the champagne was, that wasn’t where their focus was at that moment. As Dean looked at Y/N, he knew he couldn’t waste another minute not touching her. In one big gulp, he downed the champagne and placed the glass on the tray. He moved it off the bed and placed it on the ottoman, turning back to her to see she had emptied her glass as well. She walked over to the ottoman slowly, the swing in her hips seductive and teasing him. As she bent down to put the glass on the tray, the curve of her ass looked glorious in her tight dress, leaving him powerless to resist.

Dean walked up behind Y/N, his hands slowly moving over the curve, feeling the soft velvet of her dress. He moved them up to her hips, swiftly pulling them back to meet his. Y/N bit her lip as she pressed her back to his chest, feeling his cock begin to stir through the fabric of his pants.

“You have no idea what I’m gonna do to you,” he whispered in her ear and placed a small kiss behind it.

She shivered as she felt his hands move up her body, lightly grazing over her breasts before moving back down to her hips. She took his hands and moved them up again, cupping her breasts and causing a soft moan to leave her lips. She smiled mischievously as she began to grind her hips back into his, feeling him become more aroused. Dean had instant flashes back to their first date, the night she did exactly the same thing on her front porch.

He suddenly flicked her hands off his and moved them down, grasping her hips and halting them. “You think you can do that again, sweetheart… you’re wrong.”

“Dean,” she whined, her frustration getting the better of her. She squeezed her thighs together, feeling herself getting wet between her legs already.

“Tonight, is all about you,” he told her as his hands moved to the back of her dress. He grasped the zip, pulling it down at a teasing pace. “Tonight… you’re all mine.”

A whimper left her lips as the dress opened in the back, and Dean’s pace suddenly changed. He roughly pulled at the dress, shoving it down her body and letting it fall to pool around her feet.

Turning them around, Dean faced Y/N towards the large mirror on the wall. He admired her dark red, lacy push-up bra, matching lace panties and black thigh-high stockings, as his hands roamed her soft skin. Their eyes met in the mirror, causing Dean to smirk at her and give her a wink. His right hand travelled down her body and over the lace of her panties, his fingers lightly teasing over her skin and the seam of the fabric. Her breath hitched in her throat as her left hand moved forward, trying to reach for his. She gasped as he roughly grabbed it and held it down by her hip, wrapping his fingers around her wrist to keep from moving.

“Only I get to touch you, Y/N,” he said, not breaking eye contact with her in the mirror. His hand moved down between her legs, his fingers rubbing along the lace and feeling her wetness through the material. She moaned, pressing her lips together to keep herself quiet.

“Already so wet for me,” he groaned, continuing to move his fingers in a moderate pace. “But… I want you practically dripping.”

Y/N moaned wantonly as Dean removed his hand and made quick work of taking off her panties, bending down behind her as they slid down to her feet. He helped her step out of each heel and her panties, smirking as an idea came to him once the fabric was in his hand. He quickly slipped them into his pants pocket as he took her hand and guided her towards the bed. Staring into his eyes, she saw them darken even more as he lifted his hands to her shoulders and pushed her, a squeal leaving her as her back hit the bed. The scattered rose petals bounced around, breaking the even pattern, as she moved up slightly on the bed and pushed herself up on her elbows to look at him.

Y/N smiled as she bit her lip, her eyes never leaving him as he lifted up his sweater and pulled his arms through, throwing it on the floor. He did the same with the white t-shirt he wore underneath as he moved closer to the bed. She reached over and hooked her fingers into the top of his pants, desperate to feel him against her. Before she could start working on the belt, he grabbed her hand with a firm grip.

“What did I say about touching, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice rough and authoritative.

A shiver ran down her spine as she looked up at him, unable to speak. His eyes were dark, and his face was unreadable, a commanding air around him. He was dominating in bed but never quite like this, and that had her excited to see what he would do.

Dean’s jaw clenched as he looked down at her, unbuckling his belt and sliding it through the loops. He gathered it in his hand and waved it at her. “One more time and I’ll have to use this.”

She nodded, still too stunned at his demeanour to speak. She breathed heavily as the anticipation got to her, wondering what his next move would be.

Dean placed the belt on the bed, close enough to reach for it when he needed. He quickly rid himself of his shoes and the rest of his clothes, pulling down his pants along with his boxers, dropping them on the edge of the bed. His cock twitched, hard and leaking pre-cum which she desperately wanted a taste of. He knelt on the bed, swiftly picking up both of Y/N’s legs and holding them up. He made quick work of taking off her stockings, rolling them down her legs and pulling them off, before leaning down and kissing her, roughly. She moaned into his mouth as she fisted the sheets in her hands, knowing she couldn’t touch him or herself. Dean continued to roughly kiss her as he reached under her and unclasped her bra, pulling it away from her body and flinging it across the room without looking.

Dean made a rough path of kisses down Y/N’s jaw and neck, reaching her breasts. He took a nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue over the nub and pinched the other between his fingers. She moaned, throwing her head back, incredibly desperate to lift her hands and place them on his head to bring him closer. He continued his path down her body, finally reaching between her legs. She looked down to see him wink at her, his tongue slowly flicking out as it grazed her sex.

“Dean” she whimpered as she tried to move closer to his mouth.

Before she could say anything else, his head dipped down, his mouth covering her folds completely. His hands grabbed her legs and threw them over his shoulders roughly, causing a shocked huff to leave her lips.

“Oh my god,” she gasped loudly, her fingers clenching the sheets. “D-Dean, yes.”

His tongue moved over her clit in tight circles as his fingers dug into the flesh of her thighs, pulling her even closer. He moved his tongue up and down her folds, her juices coating his mouth as he moaned at the taste of her. She choked out a whimper at the vibration that ran through her as she looked down at him, their eyes meeting.

Pulling away slightly, he looked at her as he sucked at her clit. “Taste so fucking good, sweetheart.”

“Dean, please,” she begged, looking into his eyes. “Please, more.”

“Patience, Y/N,” he playfully scolded, smirking at her.

He continued to lap at her folds, the sounds of his moans and her wetness getting to her. She needed to touch him, but if she did, he’d restrain her. She wanted nothing more than to risk it and tug on his hair like she loved doing, but she couldn’t. He smirked against her as he continued his ministrations, lifting his right hand and inserting a finger into her wet canal.

“Shit, yes” she cried loudly, unable to stay quiet despite being in a hotel room.

“You like that, gorgeous?” he asked as he pulled away briefly, inserting another finger. He thrusted them in and out, his pace quick as she became wetter.

“Yes,” she gasped, nodding frantically. “Yes, I-I love it.”

He gave her a cocky chuckle as he took her swollen nub in his mouth again, his eyes never leaving her. He continued to thrust his fingers inside of her, his tongue licking at the bundle of nerves. He watched as her hands left the sheets and cupped over her mouth, her moans muffled under them.

Dean kissed and sucked at her clit, his fingers sliding in and out of her as he moved them along her walls quickly. Y/N’s hands barely covered her mouth, her moans loud as she couldn’t control herself anymore. He reached for his pants and quickly took her panties out of the pocket, knowing that if she got louder, she would need them.

“Open up, sweetheart,” he said as he placed the lace near her lips.

Y/N opened her mouth and let him slowly work the material in.

“Good girl,” he groaned as he looked down at her. His cock throbbed at the sight of her mouth stuffed with her dark red panties. He continued to work his fingers into her, picking up the pace. Her moans came out stifled around the fabric in her mouth, as she urgently grabbed at the sheets again.

Dean worked his fingers into Y/N, his pace getting quicker as they began to hit her g-spot with precision. He lifted her leg onto his shoulder as he sat up on his knees, his fingers never slowing. Y/N got louder despite her panties acting as a gag, her eyes shut tightly as she let out a string of muffled moans. He could feel her getting wetter with every passing second.

“You look so fucking beautiful like this, sweetheart. All spread out for me, desperate to cum,” he grunted as he worked his fingers at a faster speed. “You wanna cum, don’t you?”

She nodded wildly, too scared to open her eyes and look at him. She could feel something building inside of her, the coil in her stomach tighter than it ever had been, as if it was holding something at bay. She could hear how wet she was as he worked the digits inside her at a frantic speed, the squelching noises louder than her moans.

“You’re gonna be a good girl and cum for me, aren’t you?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

She cried out around the fabric in her mouth, the only way she could communicate at that point. Hearing him call her that always drove her crazy. He felt his fingers getting wetter, knowing she was closer than ever.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned; his fingers moving so quickly he could barely see them. “Fuck, cum for me, sweetheart. Fucking soak my fingers.”

Y/N threw her head back, her neck straining as she let out a stifled scream of his name around the material of her panties. One of her hands left the sheets as it latched onto his arm around her leg, needing to hold on. The damn within her broke, Dean pulling his fingers out as jets of liquid spurted out of her, drenching his hand. The vision behind her closed lids turned white, as a wave of the purest release she had ever felt washed over her. Her body shook as he held her, making sure she didn’t hurt herself. Her muffled scream turned into whimpers as she continued to come down from her high. She had never felt this way before as she continued to shake, unable to stop the waves of pleasure coursing through her.

Dean bit his lip, watching as Y/N slowly began to come down from the peak he took her to. That was a surprise, even for him. He didn’t know she was capable of that, but he was a little proud that he was the one to make it happen. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the dim light in the room. She rolled her head to the side, looking up at him as her chest heaved, her breathing erratic. He leaned forward, taking her panties out of her mouth, a harsh sigh leaving her.

“Oh my god,” she exhaled, still trying to catch her breath.

“It’s actually Dean,” he joked, a wide grin on his face.

She lazily lifted her hand and tried to hit him but couldn’t even manage that.

“You…” she trailed off, shaking her head as she still couldn’t believe what just happened. “You made me squirt.”

“Sure did.” He nodded as he looked down at her, the smirk not leaving his face. “That was awesome,” he stated.

“It was.” She hummed as she smiled up him. That was first time anyone had managed to do that, and she was happy that her first experience of that was with someone who loved her so much. Someone who wanted to bring her pleasure before himself. His pleasure came from hers. She had never been with someone who cared like that.

“Shit,” she sighed, closing her eyes. Her whole body felt like it was buzzing. “I’ve never… done that before.”

“That was so fucking hot, sweetheart,” he declared, smirking as he looked down at his lower body and his hand, both wet from her unexpected release.

She stared up at him as she bit her lip. The fact that he found it hot had aroused her even more. The fact that he was so completely turned on by her and her body, gave her a confidence in herself that she never had before.

“You’re definitely trying that again, sometime soon,” she laughed, winking at him.

“Oh, we’re just getting started,” he stated, putting her leg down.

“Really?” she asked, amused by his eagerness.

“Yep,” he replied, popping the ‘p’. “Oh and Y/N…” he trailed off, gesturing to his arm that had been wrapped around her leg.

Y/N looked down and cursed inwardly, seeing her hand wrapped around his wrist. However, a small smile spread across her lips as she looked at him, trying to act innocent. “Oops…”

Before any more words could leave Y/N’s lips, Dean tugged on her hand and flipped her over, pushing her down on her stomach. He groaned as he looked at her ass, running his hand along her skin, grasping it in his hand. He picked up the belt, folded it and held it tight in his hands. Lifting it, he twisted his wrist and flicked the loop lightly across her right cheek, gaging her reaction. She moaned as her head dropped forward onto the bed, her hips wriggling, taunting him. He couldn’t see her face, but he was certain she was wearing the little mischievous smile of hers that he loved so much.

“Harder,” she told him, her voice firm. No hesitation.

That was the only confirmation Dean needed. He lifted his hand again, bringing the belt down on the same area, slightly harder than before.

“Fuck,” she moaned, humming at the slight sting.

Dean leaned down, placing a kiss and small nip on the cheek. “Love this ass.”

Dean held Y/N’s hands together and wrapped the belt around her wrists, making sure it was tight enough so that she couldn’t get out of the binds. He buckled it, tugging on it a couple of times to test it. She whimpered softly as she laid the side of her face on the bed, excitement coursing through her. She felt him grasp her hips and pull her up onto her knees, her bound hands on her back. That feeling of thrill rose within her as she sensed him move behind her.

Dean stroked his cock as he lined himself up to her entrance, Y/N’s hips levelled with his. He entered her swiftly, a strangled moan leaving his lips as he felt how wet she was, his cock easily sliding all the way into her. A choked cry left her as she tried to move her hips back, but he grabbed them in his hands to stop her from moving. He slid out and back in, then quickly began to thrust in and out of her at a fast pace.

“So fucking tight and wet, sweetheart,” he groaned as one hand came up to hold onto her bound hands. “So perfect… like you were made for me.”

With each thrust, she moaned louder and louder. Dean wondered whether he should gag her again, but quickly thought against it. Everyone else in the hotel be damned. He needed to hear his girl.

“How does that feel, Y/N?” he asked, as his hand on her hip grabbed her flesh tight, his thrusts relentless.

“So fucking good,” she moaned loudly, her mind delirious with pleasure. “Your big cock feels so good inside me, Dean.”

“I’m the only one who can make you feel this.” He let out a grunt, feeling her walls clench around his cock with each thrust. “Tell me.”

“Oh fuck” she gasped, unable to think clearly. “Y-You-”

Suddenly, a hard, resounding spank landed on her right cheek causing her to jerk forward as she yelped in surprise.

“Tell me, sweetheart,” he growled, his grip tightening on her bound hands.

She huffed a small laugh, completely overwhelmed by what she was feeling. He was hitting that sweet spot inside her so perfectly with every thrust. His words had her spiralling by the second, and his grip on her, both mentally and physically, had left her completely at his mercy. It was an experience unlike any other; one that she had expressed she wanted just that morning, but she had no idea the delivery would exceed her expectations.

“You’re the only one who can make me feel like this,” she moaned, loud and shameless. If someone else in the hotel was getting railed as thoroughly as she was, they’d be shameless about it too. “The only one who can make me this good… so fucking good, so full.”

She struggled against the belt around her hands, the leather digging into her skin in a delicious sting. Her legs felt weak and limp under her, quivering as she could feel herself quickly losing resolve.

“Fuck, Y/N.” His undulating hips picked up speed, as he grasped hers tightly.

Her walls continued to clench around him, signalling she was close. The only other sounds that could be heard apart from their moans and groans were the smacking of skin as their hips met, and wet, squelching sounds of her sex as he continued to pound into her.

“De… fuck, I-I I’m close,” she cried out, lifting her head to try and look back at him. The same feeling that she had felt before had returned, as if she was holding something back. “I-I think-” she shook her head, unable to speak.

Dean’s hips started to falter, his release fast approaching. “Cum with me, Y/N.”

“I-I-I’m,” she stuttered. She felt lightheaded, overstimulated and overcome by the pleasure coursing through her.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he reassured her, his left hand leaving her hip and moving down between her legs. He rubbed her clit in tight circles, bringing her closer to her release. “Let go for me, sweetheart… soak my cock like you soaked my fingers.”

“Oh god… Fuck! Dean!” she screamed.

All concern for the people in the other rooms went out the window as they both reached the peak of ecstasy.

Y/N’s whole body convulsed as Dean let out a roaring moan, quickly pulling out as her release gushed out of her, drenching his cock as his cum spurted over her folds. Her legs gave out as she fell forward and flattened out on the bed as she tried to catch her breath. His chest heaved as he leaned forward, carefully unbuckling the belt around her hands, releasing her from the restraint. Her arms moved up the bed weakly, one hand cupping over her eyes as she began to chuckle. He looked down at her with a quirked eyebrow, confused as to why she was laughing.

“Y/N?” he called her name, getting no response.

She descended into a fit of laughter, slowly turning onto her back as she cupped both hands over her eyes.

“Sweetheart, what’s going on?” he asked, his mouth lifting up slightly into a smirk. He was amused by her reaction.

“That was… that was amazing,” she said through laughs. “I just… I can’t believe you did that. Not just once but twice!”

Y/N continued to laugh, causing Dean to join in as he leaned down and gave her a kiss. She lifted her shaky hands and cupped his face, kissing him deeply and moaning at the taste of herself that still lingered on his tongue. Pulling away, his legs almost faltered as he got up from the bed, but he held himself steady as he moved towards the bathroom. He wet a washcloth and then walked back out to the bed. He cleaned between her legs, the warm cloth ridding her of his release and her own. As he did, he was relieved to see they hadn’t ruined the sheets from both of their orgasms, his lower body taking the impact of hers. He cleaned himself off and got up again, discarding the cloth under the sink of the bathroom.

As he walked back out, he spotted the ice bucket and quickly swiped a cube out before he laid down next to her, both of them on their sides. Picking up her right hand, he smoothed the ice over the angry, red lines across her wrist. She hissed slightly at the chill on the heat of her skin but sighed as it cooled the sting. He looked at her as he did, smiling softly when her gaze lifted up to meet his.

“I… that wasn’t too much, was it?” he asked, his voice low and calming, but slightly nervous. He hoped that he hadn’t gone overboard.

She smiled, shaking her head. “No. It was perfect.”

She leaned forward, kissing him deeply. She sighed into the kiss, feeling more content than she ever had in her life. The feeling of being safe with him had been there throughout, and she loved him even more for being able to make her feel that way as he dominated her.

“You sure?” He needed to be certain. “I just gotta-”

She cut him off with another kiss, before pulling back to look at him. “Yes, I’m absolutely sure. It was everything I wanted. A good, proper, hard, rough… fucking of a lifetime.”

He smirked, satisfied with her sincere answer and leaned forward, kissing her once, twice which led to them giving each other small kisses on every bit of skin they got reach. Dean gave her other wrist the same attention, before the cube could melt into his hand.

“Now I can’t wait for you to fulfill another fantasy” she smiled, a naughty glint in her eyes.

“Yeah?” he grinned, wagging his eyebrows at her. “What is it?”

She hummed as she moved forward, pressing her body into his as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Maybe I want a certain mechanic to tell me there are other ways of payment when I can’t afford for him to fix my car.”

He groaned as his eyes shut tightly, feeling his cock begin to stir again. “Fuck, sweetheart. I can’t wait for that either.”

He leaned in, kissing her passionately. His hands smoothed down her back and softly soothed the sting on her ass from the brief belt treatment and spanking she got.

“Bath?” he asked, tenderly as he pulled away from her lips and nuzzled his nose against hers.

She nodded with a small smile on her lips, feeling the mattress dip as he got up first.

Dean offered his hand to Y/N which she took instantly, allowing him to lift her up from the bed. Her legs shook as she stood, still weak from the amazing sex they just had. Suddenly, he leaned down and placed his arm under her legs, the other around her and lifted her up, a little laugh leaving her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. As he walked past the ottoman, she reached down and grabbed the champagne bottle from the ice bucket and the glasses, placing them in her lap and holding the bottle so it didn’t fall. They looked into each other’s eyes as he carried her into the bathroom and over to the tub.

Y/N slowly dipped her toe in, sighing in relief when it wasn’t searing hot. She held the bottle and glasses as Dean slowly placed her in the water, the petals dispersing once she was in. She took out the other bottle of champagne from the ice bucket in the bathroom and put the open one in, after she poured a generous amount into each glass. Leaning forward, she smiled as he got into the tub and rested against it, allowing her to lay back against his chest. Clinking their glasses together, she took a sip and sighed as she made herself comfortable against him.

“I’m half expecting someone to come knocking on the door about the noise,” she told him, laughing.

He shook his head, chuckling. “Nah, no one’s coming up here to warn us on Valentine’s Day.”

“I sure hope so,” she said, taking another sip of champagne.

“I did put the “Do Not Disturb” on the door on the way in, though,” he grinned, leaning down and kissing her cheek. “Just in case.”

“Always prepared,” she joked, turning her head up to look at him.

“You know it, baby.” He smirked as he leaned down, kissing her softly.

“Thank you so much for tonight,” she whispered against his lips as he pulled away from the kiss. “It was perfect.”

“No problem, sweetheart,” he whispered back, pressing his lips to hers again. The kiss deepened, causing a small moan to leave her as she reached up and ran her hand through his hair at the back of head.

She pulled back, slightly out of the breath as she bit her lip, looking into his eyes. “I don’t think I can manage it tonight, but you can expect me to ride you into oblivion tomorrow as a thank you.”

His eyes widened as he nearly choked from the shock of her statement. He shook his head as he looked at her, wondering once again how she could be so innocent one minute and turn into a vixen the next.

“You better not threaten me with a good time and then not deliver, Y/N,” he warned her, a small smirk playing at his lips.

She shook her head, her gaze flicking between his and his lips. “It’s a promise which I absolutely intend to keep.”

“Shit,” he hissed, putting his glass on the ledge behind him. “Thank fuck I got a late check-out.”

He took hers and did the same and then moved his hands under the water, turning her around so that she was facing him and straddling his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her breasts pressed into his chest as she leaned in and kissed him, passionately. She pulled away after a few moments, looking into his eyes.

Y/N reached over to pick up a chocolate covered strawberry on the tray behind Dean and held it to his lips. Smiling at him as his plump lips closed around the fruit and bit into it, the juice ran down his chin as he moved his head back, trying to get the bite completely into his mouth. The fire that burned for him within her, that never extinguished, flickered at the sight of his beautiful, sinful mouth slightly stained by the sweet. She leaned in, kissing and licking the remnants of strawberry and chocolate from his lips. As he looked at her, he felt that feeling of being the luckiest guy on Earth wash over him again.

“I love you,” she whispered, a big smile spreading across her face.

“I love you, too,” he whispered back, his smile as big as hers as he pulled her back into their impassioned embrace.

They stayed that way until the water turned cold, and Dean carried Y/N back to the bed. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, their slumber peaceful as they both knew they were in the arms of the person who loved them unconditionally.

The next morning, Y/N kept her promise. Once they came up for air, they enjoyed a wonderful breakfast at the hotel before they finally made their way back home.

The rest of their day continued the way it began, locked in each other’s loving arms…

With promises made that they absolutely intended to keep.

-x-

Tags: @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @downanddirtydean @jensengirl83 @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @flamencodiva @ellewritesfix05 @roonyxx @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05​ @kyjey​ @halesandy​ @440mxs-wife​ @stoneyggirl​ @deanswaywardgirl​ @redbarn1995​ @marianita195​ @babypink224221​ @deans-baby-momma​ @parinarain​ @thoughts-and-funnies​ @mandalou29​ @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @supraveng​ @supernatural-love14​ @vicmc624​ @prettyboyswow​ @lunarmoon8​ @supernatural-bellawinchester​

[raphaelsrightarm]

Hey. It’s the 7-year anniversary of my Nana’s death as we lost her to bowel cancer. I know this might be a sad request, but, is there any chance you can write scenarios of how each Turtle would react to when their s/o reveals to them that they have cancer and how would they deal with them.

I’m very sorry for your loss, and I’m here if you need to talk. I did a lot of research to make sure I knew enough about the subject, and I hope this can make you feel better!

Leonardo:

- When you tell him he goes quiet, as he begins to process the news 

- He asks a lot of questions about it, basically wanting to know everything your doctor told you

- Leo hates when things are out of his control so he might seem to be on edge for a bit and would probably have to have a talk it out with Splinter to really begin to accept it

- He would obviously support you no matter what you decide to do, but he, like the rest of his brothers, would strongly urge you towards treatment

- He would encourage you to eat foods that were higher in protein to get your strength up before your treatments start like fish or chicken

- Leo would also suggest that you meditate with him, he says it would help you manage your stress and to help with a few of the side effects from your chemo and look into traditional Japanese remedies to help you with your nausea, as well as the other side effects you could experience 

- To your surprise, he would actually pull back on his strict training schedule a bit so he could make sure that if you needed anything he was there to help you; or if you just wanted him around

- He would watch whatever movies you wanted to watch, and would act as a pillow for you when you rested

- There were a few times when you would try to do things for yourself, which would genuinely frustrate him, he would always tell you to take it easy (which would drive you crazy at times)

-Leo would make you a playlist with your favorite songs and a few that he thought you might like for you to listen to during your treatment to help you relax

- Every time you come back from the hospital he reminds you how strong you are and how great you’re doing

- He would also feel better if you were to stay at the lair more than you do your apartment. Just in case you would ever need anything, and he feels like your safer down there with him and his family

- Leo would also not want to tell you a lot about what happens during their patrols or missions, he wouldn’t want to add any worry or stress

- He would never let you feel like a burden

- Reminds you that the two of you are a team, no matter what 

Raphael:

- When he first finds out, he doesn’t handle it very well

- He makes himself scarce, he blames it on training, lifting, or other ninja duties as to why he can’t see you at the moment

- With tears in your eyes, you storm into his room to confront him about it that he himself breaks down into tears

- He tells you how he was worried that he would only make things worse and that he wasn’t sure what to do

- The two of you talk about it though, and in the days afterwards he makes a complete 180

- He is there for whatever you need, no matter what time

- If you ever get angry, he’ll let you yell at him about it, he understands that you’re upset, he can take it and he’ll wait it out until you calm down again

-If you’re scared or sad and just want to be held, he scoops you you up in those huge arms of his and keeps you close until you calm down

- When you start treatment, Raph is completely supportive, he hates that he can’t physically be there for you but he always makes up for it afterwards

- He will convince Donnie to let him pick you up in Vern’s old news van after your treatments

- If you feel too tired or in pain, he will carry you around, he knows how much of a toll chemo can take on your body

- He’s more gentle with you than normal, knowing that you bruise much easier since your treatments start

- I have a headcannon that Raph is one of the best cooks in the family, so he will look into what kinds of foods would be gentle on your stomach so you can eat without feeling nauseous afterwards 

- He would never let anyone say anything about your hair loss, and says if anyone ever does to tell him; because you are his better half and he would never want someone to hurt your feelings

- In the end, he is your rock and would be there for you always

Donnatello:

- Upon telling him he would take a bit to process

- He’s the doctor of his family, and he would feel helpless because he really can’t help you as much as he wishes he could

- But he knows how scary this is for you and would never ask you to comfort him during this time, so he attempts to distract himself from thinking about all the possibilities

- He would do research nonstop on the type of cancer you have and would present it to you, you two would have a long conversation about what kind of treatments you could choose

- He would also look into non-addictive pain relievers for you so on the days when you like crap he can help

- Like Raph, Donnie would insist on picking you up after you receive you chemo, he would also ask that if you need to be driven somewhere that you let April take you

- He would look through blogs from other cancer survivors to see what works best for them to give an idea of would he could try for you

- To occupy and distract you during your treatments, Donnie would make a folder on your computer of all your favorite movies to take with you 

- When you come back afterwards, he’ll take a break from his work and gently lay you in his bed, if you wanted to be held he would cradle you; if you didn’t really want to be touched he would sit down at the foot of the bed with his hand gently rubbing your feet

- Donnie would never want to ignore your feelings of fear or sadness, but he would try to lift you up and make sure you feel more hopeful by the end of the conversation

- Due to his own apprehension, every side effect you had from your chemo, he would look into to make sure that a side effect was all that it was

Michelangelo:

- At first when you tell him, like the rest of his brothers, he’s in disbelief

- Wants to believe you’re just trying to prank him, would awkwardly laugh at first saying things like “good one babe, but you shouldn’t joke about that.”

- When you tell him you aren’t joking, he feels his heart drop to his stomach

- Asks a lot of questions, just trying to get a handle on what’s going on

- He gives you lots of reassurance, telling you how strong you are, and how proud of you he is

- While you are receiving your treatments, he is on the phone with you the entire time, telling you how great you are and how it’ll be over soon and will promise to do whatever you like when you get home

- Absolutely refuses to show you that he’s worried, he wants to make you feel happy or optimistic

- He doesn’t bottle those feelings up though, he will sit and talk with Splinter about it almost everyday. Sometimes maybe Leo, but most of the time Splinter

- He is there for you no matter what; If you’re in pain from treatment he makes you a nest of pillows in his room for the two of you to cuddle on

- If you feel nauseous, he will sit next to you and gently rub your back until it passes

- If you feel self conscious about loosing your hair, he will hype you up all the way. Telling you how much he likes your look

- Making jokes like “Look babe! We match now!” just in an attempt to get a laugh out of you

- Because he is so in love with you and will never stop trying to make you smile, no matter what the circumstances are