#sometimes its just the app im using and other times its the entire phone and i have to force restart

[stfu-im-thinking-abt-blorbo]

Love it when I'm scrolling down my dash and suddenly Tumblr decides to make my phone explode 💥💥💥

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if i cut off someone reaching out for help on tumblr? i am a very anxious person. ive been on tumblr a very long time because most all other social media terrifies me as someone who grew up with the wild west internet a decade past (im in my late 20s) so i feel sometimes with how reckless and spurractic people can be online in chatroom and especially clearly public platforms where any stranger, malicious or otherwise can just archive your digital presence for personal use.

more recently as someone who has been here during the pornban and as an asexual really enjoyed the quiet with no drama farming and a slow pace to talk about more unique political topics in a measured way it is something im strangely nostalgic for and a great example of my sensibilities to people when they insist that i use other platforms like discord or twitter or whatever clone for these services comes out of the old guard introducing feature creep to copy everyone else or any other indi "were the anti corporate version" of the endless scroll apps. i just dont want it. tumblr is special because im desktop only, been here for years, and i have kept track of every single change made so i have manually adjusted the change through hacks to evade every bad decision on here and make my set up look identical to how it was in 2010. so let it be understood that i tend to be a loney person because of this stubbornness. web 3.0 is too dangerous to people with addictive tendencies that my adhd brings out and my need to wear my heart on my sleeve. so i hope i defended my personality type enough to show why someone like me would see a post about some horrible abuses they have fell victim to who also share alot of the marginalized status as me and writing depressive things in the replys of others posts as to attention seek about it.

i directly interact with this person, not only to check if they are real (but wow, modern chat bots make this part horrifying for me. we really cant ever know for sure what is real anymore. trying to find warmth on the internet feels impossible now a days) i have multiple conversations at this point both venting and just casually shooting the shit. but the begging for me to constantly repost their paypal makes me so nervous in a way that i feel so guilty for because it reminds me of all the scams that get associated with this kind of ebegging and the reminder that capitalism takes away all warmth from human interaction to make them purely transnational and conditional. but then it just has been escalating where im so scared that now its not enough that im reposing on my 8 follower, all mutual blog, they are asking me to share it on other socials. accounts i do not have i have a flip phone and a laptop and i am tinkering with a windows 7 tower that will never be connected to the internet so i can always have software sit perfectly in its time capsule for when i need it. i do not have a way to help this person outside of what i learned from collage psyche classes. a part of me is so scared to just abruptly cut them off and just delete my entire account like i tend to do often on tumblr for a multitude of reasons, its a part of what lets people survive being here this long but i worry that would crush them if i did that, i dont want to make them feel more hopeless and unwanted then they already talk about. but i am text on the internet through a screen. i can only do so much. so would i be the asshole if i just deleted my account with a "i hope you hang in there, the world is a harsh place but keep moving" to cut someone so similar to me who is struggling out of my life?

What are these acronyms?

[swemory]

Messy CoD: Ghost's headcannons ::

on the topic of CoD charachters as animals, Merrick strikes me as a bear. dunno ENTIRELY why. i saw this other post montttthhhssss back(more like a year ago) of someone headcannoning that Merrick kind of instinctively starts watching out for the Walker brother's/doting on them more after Elias' death and i REALLY resonate with that.

he takes care of his cubs :) definitely gets protective of the two brothers after his best friends death. (also headcannon that Elias and Merrick were closer buds than we got to see. those two definitely drink beer together.) Merrick seems like the kind of guy to have never seen himself as a father figure, its just an instinctive move after Elias dies since the two boys are still pretty young adults. (dunno if the person said all this in their posts, i have zero way of finding them again 😭😭)

(i was getting stuffed animals from build a bear nd making them themed as CoD charachters and i have a bear one as Merrick because of this[lmk if you want a bear!Merrick reveal because i also have doodles of him with bear ears])

Merrick, Merrick, Merrick..

honestly dont really know what to say about this man. i feel like he's extremely un-tech savvy unless its military technology. definitely does that dad squint with his eyes while reading something/trying to figure out how tf a phone works.

OHHH and on the topic of being horridly bad with tech and internet shi, if Logan and Hesh were to ever show Merrick tiktok for any reason, Merrick would probably find himself an addict of the app and incidentally pick up a shit ton of Gen Z humor but have zero idea what ANY of it means.

catch him throwing around old 2019 jokes or being one of those awkward father's who try to relate to the younger demographic by using outdated slang. thats IF he has the confidence to use any of the humor. if anything, i feel like he'd be awfully self conscious about doing so due to his lack of knowledge on it all.

no idea where im going with these headcannons. it is 12am and i am doing my workout routine as i wrote this while sleep deprived. dw im going strong.

but on the topic of HEADCANNONS,,,

Keegan, i feel like, leaned alot on Elias (probably without realizing it). i just see a kinship between Keegan, Elias and Merrick. Keegan seems to be by Merrick's side ALOT and i feel like HE feels he belongs there. not reliant just.. connected. soul brothers, really.

and if it wasnt Logan and Hesh who were fucked up over Elias' death, it was Keegan and Merrick. Merrick lost a bestfriend, Keegan lost a friend maybe even a father/uncle figure.

mostly Merrick gives me uncle vibes, though. Elias is a father figure, someone to lean on / someone to really show you how to do something and help you through hard times with insanely good advice. and Merrick's just the awkward, un-tech savvy uncle. i refuse to elaborate any further.

my personal headcannon for Logan is that hes semi-mute. i dont, personally, headcannon him as someone with full mutism but i do feel like he doesnt speak 90% of the time and shocks everyone whenever he does speak.

Keegan going about his day, saying a brief good morning to Logan and the Walker boy saying a quiet ''morning'' back to the man. has Keegan freeze on the spot, taking a full minute before looking up at Logan. takes a glance at Hesh and the brother merely shrugs, used to Logan's rare speaking.

out of everyone, Logan mostly speaks to Hesh. whenever Logan does speak, i feel like its aimed, USUALLY, at Hesh and nobody else in the room. keeps ot brief but sometimes has an actual back and forth while Merrick and Keegan are just reeling.

Merrick, wanting to help understand Logan better and show he cares more after Elias' death, put time aside to learn sign language for Logan's 'no talk days'. definitely mixes up a few signs and still has alot to learn but it surprises Logan and the man feels heard. definitely better than Logan having to rely on Hesh fully to communicate what Logan's trying to say / Logan having to fumble and point out different things and use unconventional means to try and get something across.

no hcs for Hesh rn..i THINK. actually i think i do have some but i cant remember and am tired. i spent likr an hour writing this yw im so eepy

gonna make a post strictly for Elias hc's because i have ALOT. (can you tell i have daddy issues)

A/N:: if anyone else has done these hcs tell me, im losing my mind over if ive actually seen anyone else have the same thoughts as me or not.

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

hey zeepie! HIHIHIHII!!!!

ermmm

irl bestie headcannons? why the hell not, happy Valentine's season (or smt) a lot of this is purely imaginative, as im cautious about ppl online. I hope you feel better ❤️

if we were irl besties, I would prolly be afraid to text you a lot. id send u shitty memes and funny shit id find on Pinterest and think you would judge me about it, before seeing you happily text me back.

we would text about things happening, like gen alpha slang, or about our future. lots of intrusive thoughts from my way with frightened commentary from you

while I may be busy often, I try to fit my friends with my schedule, even if they don't match often (they go to public school) so youd be invited to Mexican parties, bday parties, skating hangouts, or even the once-in-a-life-time boy girl party.

and other times, I just want to spend time w/ you. sometimes I would invite you to the park to simply interact, or we would visit each other's house for a self care day. Everytime I see you, I just tackle you in a giant hug, as you struggle to hold me a bit.

id bring all of my favorite masks, along with the best snacks possible. you would prolly have the blankets and towels. imagine me loading up fortnite on my Nintendo as I make you an account for your tv 💀💀💀

like the 'its my first time' adult x 'imma protect you no matter what' 16 yr old trope. you'd call me cringe as I finish setting you up, and invite to my party for 3 rounds of battle royale.

we lost all three 😭.... but! but- we did get at least 9 kills on average per round, that's a win for me 👀 the opps were too strong for us 😞🫴🏾

id steal your remote as i press the tubi app, choosing some trash iteration of the monkey king. you'd laugh so hard about it the whole time, while id be rambling about the quality of CGI and the differences between modern movies.

while we talk I may poke you a bit, you swatting my hands threatening to fight. it's just smt abt tickling that makes a blk person wanna throw hands 🫠 👊🏾💥👊🏾💥other times id sooth through your hair in a spaced out silence, not really minding anything.

you'd ask about my locs sometimes, and my haircare routine. (thinking abt it now, I haven't gotten my hair done in almost a month 💀) so you'd prolly ask why my roots are so fluffy instead of rolled up. a smile would com across your face as I continue to explain, telling you about the palm rolling + clipper process, the dangers of water, and oil buildup. you laugh as I tell you about my dream to dye my roots neon green, keeping my tips pink.

(fun fact: [and this could apply to every hair type, but especially locs] when you leave water in locs w/o drying properly, you could literally grow matted mold. it can become very smelly and strong, because hair in general ESPECIALLY CONJOINED HAIR soaks up water like a fuckin towel. and if you arent careful about the products u use/what products you use, and how often you wash your hair, it can cause oil buildup pretty easily.

im not sure why, but when I add water to my hair, my scalp dries up and it starts to shed 😭😭 I SWEAR I USE OIL-)

and sometimes ill disappear for a month. it won't be on purpose of course! as soon as I get my phone in my hands, I'm racing to send you my entire meme bank, making you cackle during the early hours of the morning.

and when we can't meet up, well just ramble to each other over call, or play shitty Roblox obbies on discord. throw writing ideas, communicate, au's fictional and irl, existential dread, carpet fuzz. anything really!

and we would be really good friends too- like, top tier verbalization, positive affirmations, and happiness all the way ❤️

the only thing I could think of you and me arguing about is the use of my n word tendencies for stupid things. or my procrastination-

but other than that, being your irl bestie would be awesome! id make sure of it ❤️

ohh uhym

just, uh, aha- gimme a second? chippy?- babe– ,,

[scampers away behind a conveniently placed bush, curls down into a squatting ball so only the back of my head is visible] Guueuuueeeeeeeeghehehgehegheeeghhhh,,, gaaaaasp– ghhhhhuuuuuuueeeerrrrrghhhhgehegeheeeeghehhhnngh 😭😭😭

THIS IS!! SO!! 😭😭 THIS!! 💥☝🏾 CHIP. 😫 CHIP. 😭 CHIPPY?? CHIPPYYYYYY 👹

I read this groggily after waking up from my sadness-induced nap and it immediately, IMMEDIATELY !!! ... made me smile. Like, so so big. SO, so BIG!!!

Aaaand I am so, MAD, that we don't know each other irl because?? I need this?? In my life??? I've,,, ALWAYS needed someone like this??????? & to finally have her!! But she is not here IN FRONT OF ME FOR ME TO HAVE AS THE BESTEST BESTIE EVER??? IT SHOULD BE A SIN PUNISHABLE BY INSTANT LIGHTNING STRIKE DEATH FROM GOD HIMSELF JKHHJHJHDJBSHDJHJ 👹😭🤬💔💔 LIKE I AM- FEENING FOR THIS ☝🏾 FRIENDSHIP EXACTLY GRUUURAGAHAGAAAAAAGHHHH

Like why are you not here in front of me rn?? WHy, *chokes* do you not live across from me in my lil ghetto ass neighborhood where the only thing that'd motivate me to go outside is you calling to me from my window?? Like it's not fair it simply isn't fair as a matter of fact, i think it's racist that we aren't irl friends like and ALL OF THIS DURING O U R MONTH likeeee. *sucks teeth* seems sketchy to me bro 😤💔 [I continue to ramble if only to shield the sounds of my heart shattering quite loudly in the background]

THE TUBI PART DID IT FOR ME 😭😭 HOW DO YOU KNOW I'VE SEEN THE CRUDDY REITERATIONS OF THE MONKEY KING??? I'd palette it MUCH more easier if it were you watching it with me instead of my parents :'')) I'm the type to crack up obnoxiously during movies and shows - our chaotic energy would bounce of e/o seamlessly and we'd be our own movie fr 🎬🤣

I ain't no gamer but I'd do it for you bookie. even if the opps did get us in the end. we did our best, trust 😞✊🏾 magic of friendship always prevails, feel me?

And !! Girl !! Black girl hair knowledge 😍💅🏾✨ AAAAAAAAAA!!! FROTHING AT THE MOUTH FOR IT SJDKDJ (/ns btw ksjsjsj just as a forewarning 😭😭💀 you get me girl) PLEASEEE I don't have thoroughly kinky hair, since i'm mixed so i never got the whole concept of it and anytime I'm bein made aware of afro-centric hair care i EAT THAT ISH UPPPPPPP. u're my new knowledge plug. like, this was edumacational. AND HONESTLY I THINK YOU HELPED ME TOO??? 🤣 I get reeeally bad buildup sometimes but I think it's because I air dry my hair, not really much at all!! :')) yes yes i know, cue the screams of horror. 💀 I SWEARRRR I'M LEARNING AND GROWING I JUST NEED TO USE MY BLOWDRYER JKJKS

AAAAAAAA we'd dye our hair together!!! 😍 that's honestly such a cute color combo, wholly underrated !! my tenderheaded self, but I'm a sucker for people stroking my hair/head bcuz it rarely happens nowadays 😭

sitting in comfortable silence? casual healthy platonic affection? posting up when you tryna start somethin with them pokes and tickles?? 😔✊🏾 yes please yes to all of it.

fr tho you can catch this fade if you keep tryin me bbygirl i be screeching like a banshee jsjsjsjss

UGHGHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHH the ✨positive reaffirmations and 🩷verbalization of love🩷✨

Like this a whole dream.

,,,real images of me caught in 8K UHD surround sound 32 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas instruments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower 100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology:

......,,,, SOmeone should hELP her. 🧍👀

[clears throat and composes myself]

Ahhh, my Chippy Choco Chip girl. You are already such bestie material online, I can only imagine how viscerally that translates to in person :'')))

If I can get a little personal here?? Ever since I was young, I wished and prayed and begged, for a friend. Like, a GOOD friend. A best friend. Someone who'd be there for me and actually want to spend time with me; oh you have no idea how much you healed little me typing this out, Chips (´；ω；｀) Tumblr, our moots as a whole have also healed the little Lilo in me and have simultaneously become my Stitch. :'))

This is the bestest thing I could've received for Valentine's (and yes I'm considering it as my valentine's/galentine's gift from u 🤨 problem?? *chkt chkt* ???..... yeah i didn't think so 😌. thank you.) and I am just. BLESSED. 🙏🏾😫

THANK YOU JESUS. JEHOVAH. GOD. ELOHIM. FOR, AT USER ITSYAGIRLCHIP. MY CHIPPY CHOPPY GIRL.

I love you pookie. ❤❤🫶🏾🫶🏾 Thanks for making me smile so hard my face almost stayed permanently that way today.

[aaronstveit]

hi! ive been around for awhile now but never said hi to u off anon jdkdmdjd

how are you?

okay question, how do you read so many books? i used to be a bookworm in middle school but then high school and depression happened and i lost the ability to focus. im adhd so its not surprising but none of the tricks people recommend works for my brain. i sit down to read and after two words im like "okay nevermind."

i really like audio books but i miss actually Reading the words myself you know? there is a difference between them for sure and i also notice i remember the new words and phrases better when im actually reading them instead of just hearing them.

you read a lot so i thought maybe any advice you have might help me? its worth a shot to ask jfkdkdjd no pressure tho. <3

omg hi!!🫶🏻 i'm good, how are you? <33

i was exactly the same! couldn't stop reading in elementary & middle school, then high school completely destroyed my love of reading & learning. it's honestly taken me years to get back to being an avid read and to enjoying it </3

i'm lucky to have a lot of free time. i also have a lot of sleeping problems & end up unable to sleep around 2am most nights, so i get a lot of reading done from like 9pm-2am. it's not ideal to my sleeping schedule and i definitely don't recommend it, that's just one of the ways that i end up reading so much.

i think cossette @hollyfhumberstone has a phenomenal post here about tips for reading more that i definitely refer to when i find myself in a reading slump!

for me, it really helps to set a daily goal for reading. i use the finch app and every day i set goals to read at least one chapter of whatever it is that i'm reading. there is no punishment for missing a goal, but there are rewards for accomplishing them, and that helps me! like right now, i'm reading wuthering heights, which i've put off reading forever because it intimidates me. so i set a goal of just reading one chapter a day so i can get through it. sometimes i'll read two chapters a day, especially if they're short, but it's easier to get my brain to do it because i've taken the pressure off myself, if that makes sense! a lot of my reading is really about tricking my brain into letting me do it tbh.

i also let myself take breaks between chapters, even when i'm sitting down to read for a few hours! if i finish a chapter and i want to check social media or play solitaire on my phone for a second or get a snack or something, i just do it. i know some people really try not to look away from their book for certain amounts of time, but that doesn't work for me because then i'll be looking at the words but i'll just be thinking about doing something else the entire time.

one of my favorite things to do is talk about the books i'm reading, so that helps me, too! i talk to my dad and my friends about books, which always hypes me up to read more. if you ever wanna talk about books with me, my DMs and asks are always open! i literally just LOVE talking books, even if i haven't read them yet!

setting reading goals works for me too, but i tend to set running goals instead of definitive goals. like, i'll set my goodreads goal for x number of books each year, but the rest of my goals are not numerical. they're more like "read more diversely," "read more classics," "read more science fiction," "read more fantasy," "read more historical fiction," and "read more nonfiction." (those are my goals for 2024 btw). that way i'm not chasing a number, i'm just broadening my horizons!

what has really helped me the last couple of years was finding genres i enjoyed and getting really into them. i discovered i like mystery, thriller, and horror books a lot more than other genres, so that's most of what i've been reading! i still run into books i don't like, and i still branch out and find some incredible books in other genres, but i'm done forcing myself to read what's popular just for the sake of it.

oooh and another thing i do when i can't get myself interested in a new book is to reread an old favorite. i reread the hunger games pretty much every year when i find myself in a reading slump, because i know that series will keep me interested no matter how many times i've read it. annotating old favorites also works for me! i annotated thg this year, the raven cycle last year, and i think next year i will try annotating lord of the rings!

i hope this helps! i wish i could give you some better advice </3 if you have any other questions, please let me know!! 🫶🏻

[analogwriting]

OUGHHH ITS DONE OHHGBMY IM SERIOSLY GONNA CRY AMBROSE..

)&$$&@first off, the rollercoaster of emotions i went thru during this entire series.. it made me so sad and happy at the same time and now that its done o hi jjgjm i cant even express myself rn..

BUT!! I am glad we got our happy ending, “hold the transponder snail” got me giggling fr. Still seriously. my heart hurts from this entire thing ending 😔 I’ll definitely miss waking up to new chapters

the confession scene was done so beautifully oh my goodness… had me kicking my feet I couldnt even read for 2 sentences straight cuz I would get too giddy and end up switching apps midway 💀💀

AND FUCKING EUSTASS??? bros gotta start minding his own business, theres no way he heard all of that 😭 rlly cant have any privacy when u have siblings

but when killer kissed us after taking the medicine I CALLED IT!!! In my mind before the chapter was released i was like “first kiss is gonna be after he takes the cure ik it”

but god seriously that entire series was beautiful, i’ll read it over and over until I turn blind 🥹 i will be missing killer, but i will stick around for mafia cora too!! Cora grew onto me a while back but theres like no content for him shhddhhd I LOVE HIM FOR THE ANGST THO (and also band killer after mafia cora?? CANT WAIT)

anyways sleep with both pillows cold and ur blankets warm, i’ll give u all the kisses in the world for ur wonderful writing

-long rant anon

VKSKFSORKFK ITS OKAY ILL CRY RIGHT THERE WITH YOU FRFR 😭😭

i almost put hold the phone but I was like nah fam gotta make it historically accurate n shii 💀💀 jkjk I just thought it was funnier

I rewrote the confession eight times and I was still unsure about it so I'm glad you liked it 😭😭🥰🥰 i just overthink frfr. you're just like me fr long rant anon. I get too giddy n I gotta switch the apps to calm down 💀

SIBLINGS NEVER GIVE YOU ANY PRIVACY AND THEY ALWAYS BE INTERRUPTING AT THE WORST TIMES so ofc i had to make eustass do that multiple times cause he's a shithead (love you tho kid I swear)

EHEEHHEHE the kiss after the cure is actually one of the first scenes I came up with actually. circumstances around it and some other things changed but cure then hot kiss was always the plan eheheh i can be predictable sometimes 🤷 I'm a sucker for clichés frfr

it means a lot that y'all enjoyed it so much. I went into this thinking that not many people were gonna be into it but I just HAD to get it out. there wasn't a lot of killer content in general but he seems to be having a boom lately and I am HERE for it 😤😤 but I'm glad I ended up doing this bc seeing y'all's kind words really motivate me forreal 🥰

YOURE SO FUCKIN SWEET AND I HOPE YOU ALWAYS HAVE GOOD TIMES FRFR

(might just do a killer au in between all the other ones. I got plenty of em 💀)

[cold-r-ain-in-june]

so a few weeks ago @steadfast sent me an ask wondering how i manage to gather the pieces of media for my web weavings

unfortunately,  it just happened that when you sent me that ask i was one foot in the grave with a fever and ever since i got better i've been procrastinating writing you a reply since i wanted to give you my best answer

double unfortunately, tumblr decided to delete the post and your ask when i was almost done, so i'll try to write it again even though i'm frustrated over the original getting deleted so bear with me

so to start off, i happen to suffer from the horrible condition called sometimes-i-feel-things-so-strongly-i-want-to-cut-open-my-skin-to-let-them-out. a horrible illness really. things like anger or missing my ex or chronic sadness. sometimes, rarely, it happens to be love, though much less often then i would like.

basically, i bottle things up to the point in which i cant help but see them everything. i see a random poem on my instagram feed, i listen to a song on the bus and one of the lyrics clicks like it never had before, a scene from a movie a watched 3 years ago comes to haunt me at night when i cant sleep.

so i gather them, sometimes, i make new folders for them, other times i am so lazy and messy i just let them get lost and rot with the other 10k of screenshots i have on my phone.

obviously, i also have to outright search for things, but i dont even do it for the sake of creating a web weaving post at first. i just feel one thing so deeply i have to look up proof that people have been also feeling this thing for thousands of years and theyve all dealt with it. i mostly search them here on tumblr and sometimes pinterest. words like "friendship", like "medea", like "toxic siblings", they can all open doors to pieces of media you have never heard of before, but which contain a three line dialogue youd kill for from the first time you read it. this all very tricky, evidently, at times, things simply dont match with the way you actually feel, no matter how much you search for them, but stitching them together can give you this almost perfect thing that mirrors your soul.

i also happen to be the kind of person who screenshots everything they think its relevant. and its good that i have really low standards for relevance. thats how i end up diving in my screenshots pile, when i feel like my web searching is failing, and sometimes i get lucky enough and i find a line i collected 2 years ago that matches exactly how i feel in that moment.

you've also mentioned the question of whenever i memorize book passages, and the answer is somewhere between yes and no. while, when i read i heavily annotate my books, im not a big fan of memorising outright passages (my brain is mush lets be honest, i cant fry it even more with overloading), and i dont write them down or anything, but i do however manage to memorize the overall idea of passages that stick to me. liek i can tell that x book has some quote about y thing even if i dont remember it outright. then i try to look it up, i use goodreads mostly (which is a bitch on mobile but you can work your way around if you search shit on web AND THEN you open it with the app) and google books when it decides to be helpful every once in a while, and if neither of those work, THEN, i open my edition and try to look for it because im lazy like that.

another site i really like, and its obvious in my web weavings is gentle.earth!! which, now that i say it, i actually havent visited it in a while but since i remembered it exists ill probably stalk it for the next few weeks. it's an anymous site on which everyone can confess things that hang heavy on them and some of them get to be displayed on the page after the entires are curated. its a really pretty thing to look through

now that i covered the bases of obtaining the materials for the web weaving, which i think i can boil down to 1. hysterical search mission and 2. hoarding every piece of media you come across, i will also add that at least for me personall, putting them in order for is a pain in the ass (which is also the maine reason i havent made a web weaving in almost a year even though i have the materials ready). i dont know if other people who do this kind of things are as press as i am about the order in which each post go and the way the different shades of the same idea interwine and bullshit bullshit or if im just mental. but yeah its also a really important step for me, its basically the polish of the post ig

also the biggest problem with the hoarding strategy is spending 2 days looking for a source because your past self was too lazy to also screenshot the source. thats also a bitch

anyway, i honestly i have no idea if youll find anything helpful here, or if i just used your ask to moan about my struggles but its 3 am over here and honestly this is the best ive got. thank you for the ask though, i do love getting ask even if it takes me two decades to answer them <3

[nowoyas]

im sorry evernote isnt working for you!!! Is it just personal preference that you dont use google docs or is there a reason??? Google docs is all i can use lmao

oh I HATE google docs. i hate the UI, I hate the way the docs are organized and presented, I hate the company itself, I hate that paragraphs sometimes just Don't Work, I hate that for some reason copy-pasting just doesn't work correctly from the right-click menu, I don't like its spelling and grammar suggestions, and I don't like the app icon on my phone skdjfhdsjkh just about the only thing I like it for is real-time working with other people, but the entire point of what I'm writing on evernote is that it's stuff written with the only caveats that it be fun for me and no one else will ever read it, so the only thing I actually like docs for is the one thing I will never use it for in this case

[kenazraventooth]

I might have to have this out out side of tags cuz its kiiinda long :")

Tried melatonin. i need a lot for it to help, and when i wake up, i dont fully wake up. So its out the window.

Weed helps a little better, but as soon as it wears off, i wake up. It's also kind of expensive, so it's out.

Now it switch between 3 things. Sometimes, i listen to audiobooks because i have been doing that since i was a kid. I just make sure to fully listen before i fall asleep to them. Not that it makes me sleepy. i'll just be a sad bean if i missed something to a new story.

Not so often mostly because i get bored, which means i stay awake, is using the app Sleep Sounds - relaxing sounds by Craftsman Spirit. It is free. Allows you to mix and match most of the sounds they have. Runs forever if need be. I add this because one time mixing this with a podcast wasn't too bad. I just dont want to run a tablet and a phone to sleep, or two apps (if i could) on my phone.

Now for the podcasts.

Listen To Sleep - Quiet Bedtime Stories & Meditations by Erik Ireland

I love this dudes voice, but I had to stop listening to his podcast. His self done ads are much louder than his stories, and it woke me up more and more often. Theres also volume issues in his older epiodes, so whenever he played the background sounds, it was too quiet for me to hear. Waking me up because i always need sounds. Meditations did the same thing. Silence waking me up. For a bit, I had fixed it by just making my own playlist, but it had gotten crushed by the self-made ads. (Small edit because i forgot) there are some guest entires, and there is also really good. im a bit too lazy to find where to play this little nugget.

Again, I love how he reads stories, so i do suggest giving it a try. You might sleep better than I do.

Sound Sleep - Bedtime Stories & Guided Sleep Meditation - Time To Relax, Get Sleepy, & Fall Asleep by Adam Clairmont

I again love the voice this guy uses. I love the voice of other people who got brought in to read stories. Sadly, there are a lot of very long pauses of silence in the end that always woke me up, so again, I had to stop listening. I didn't continue to listen long enough to figure out why there were pauses like that because i was a little frustrated. Just trying to find something new to fall asleep to would work for me.

The one i listen to now (and admittly, i really really love these stories the most) is

Sleep and Sorcery | Folklore & Fantasy-Inspired Sleep Stories by Laurel Hostak

Form what I understand (sooo could be wrong this is why i should listen to explinations while half asleep if i am) these stories are actually written but Laurel herself. There are quotes, refences, and hints of inpirations for stuff like The Last Unicorn. I know there's more, but that's the only title that sticked to my head. She read well, and the meditation doesn't wake me up if i am already asleep for the next episode. My favorite episode from this podcast is The Unicorn's Blessing. I just love unicorns, and I found this to be very well written, sad, but in the end, so so joyful. There are times there is a bit of silence, and sometimes it does wake me but but it is nowhere near as long as what happened in the other two podcasts I listened to. Maybe it's for meditation maybe its not again. I only wake up because of the silence, not before it.

To anyone looking for sleepy podcasts. I hope you find something you like if you haven't already.

[mejomonster]

Some writing resources:

My favorite place to write, you can set timers or word count goals, most importantly though you can only backspace for about 2 words, so you must simply keep writing and it prevents you from stopping and editing. You can either copy/paste text ypu write out of the site, or export a txt document of what you wrote. In my experience it DOES save my writing if I write in a web browser on my phone, keep the tab there, but close the whole web browser app and open again later. However, just in case, I recommend you save or copy text if you intend to close the web browser, and keep the web browser open or mininized until you've exported or copy pasted your text: https://www.justwrite.page/

Another nice place to write, novella also has lots of story structure and scene structure guides, and can play music and a few different sounds if you use the computer version. To keep your text, copy what you write here when you're done and paste it to where you're saving it. https://novellla.web.app/

A place you can share your story, or look at it privately online (outside of google owned google drive), or password lock it to share with specific people. I find this site useful for transferring my writing back and forth to computer and phone without having to use Google Docs. It has basic features, you can write in the site but I prefer to write in more bare bones writing focused tools (like above). It gives word count per chapter and per book, organizes by chapter, and you can export the full book in txt file.

This is a sound for noises. They'll play in the background if you leave the tab and go to another, or minimize the web browser, and there's a huge variety. Beach, coffee shop, rain, white noise, binaural beats, piano, all kinds of sounds to help you focus. I love this site. It has an app version, but the site is free and it's sounds are fully functional on ones's phone as a website. So you can just use the website if you don't want the app:

And the only paid tool on this list, the phone writing app Lite Writer (its icon is a black feather on a white bsckground). I believe it cost around 10 dollars for a one time purchase, then no other cost ever again. It was worth it. (It might even have been totally free, i installed multiple writing apps before picking this one as my favorite). This app is SO GOOD if you use phone or tablet to write. You can organize by book (folders) and chapters (txt files), you can set it to remember the last chapter you wrote in if you'd like to open and return to where you left off, you can upload pictures as covers for the books (i like visually seeing them it helps me quickly find what im working on), it has an AMAZING search function where you can search ALL books, one book, or one chapter, for either an exact match or "containing" those words with other words in between. It makes it very easy to do a find and replace, or figure out what chapter I last mentioned X detail in a story, or to go through ny story notes and outline (which is like 20 pages) to find the part I need to reference or refresh the details of.

The whole app auto saves so you never have to remember to save (although if you have no internet connection I suggest minimizing the app instead of closing it, close it when you have internet connection). It backs up to your place of choice (my books backup to my google drive so i can recover them if needed), and you can export a chapter or whole book as a txt file at any time. Another great feature: you can import fonts. Why is this nice? Sometimes changing a font to comic sans or cursive you cant read helps push through writers block and give you a fresh perspective. The app also does word counts: word count per chapter, per book, and per entire app (all books), and a chart to show how much you wrote each day and compared to yesterday and last week. If word count motivates you, it can be nice to see that. The books (folders) can have numbered chapters (if you put a number in the title) that they'll organize in order, and can have unnumbered txt files which you can use for story outlines and notes and other scraps.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=core.writer

[clowningaroundmars]

some thoughts on galaxy z flip4 as a lifelong iphone user:

pros

• CUSTOMIZATION. its literally the 1st thing i absolutely love about this phone and androids in general, the FREEEDDOOOOMM!!!! i can really make this phone MINE

• the STORAGE wow. i never had any iphone with more than 64GB of storage and that shit ran out QUICK usually. iphone storage is usually trash and for what? im not downloading themes and shit like i am on my flip4! but here i am downloading shit left n right and my flip4 is handling it all like a champ, only 40GB used out of 128 rn

• my flip4 is so much more efficient and helpful than any of my iphones. reminders actually have me remembering shit thanks to there not being any "dismiss" buttons (my phone actually holds me accountable omg), if im lost and need to find something specific in my phone i can just use the amazing search functions baked into p much every app, and if i mess up and go into the wrong settings theres always a helpful suggestion at the bottom every time :)

• also the edge panel and the fact that you can add so many shortcuts on different parts of ur phone is baller. really saves a lot of time

• the fact that samsung itself encourages customization, has apps specifically designed to help you further tweak your phone to your tastes, AND has a community app right there pre-downloaded to talk to other samsung users and employees blows my entire mind. apple could NEVER

cons

• the battery 😅 i wasnt buying this phone blind, so i read and watched lots of reviews and... yea they werent kidding when they said the battery is a bit lacking. which is fine, this phone's battery is smaller than other phones so thats understandable. the phone has to flip shut and fit a lot in its thin body after all, and samsung made up for this by making the battery charge back up pretty quickly

• the glitches. nothing phone-breaking so far but the themes occasionally glitching out with some updates is a lil bit weird to me. apple is a control freak for sure and doesnt let users do much of anything but things on the iphone are usually... consistent

• the connectivity. i guess im still not used to android but i also heard other flip4 users complain that sometimes the connection was being weird despite being fully connected to stable internet. also sometimes some apps wont connect to wifi but others will? idk bruh its frustrating sometimes

• the ADS :( i know android is owned by google and theyre doing a whole crackdown on adblockers (stupid af) but goddamn. adblocking being more effective on my iphone than my android is smthn i def did not expect 💀 im sure ill eventually find a way around it tho

[selamat-linting]

im not sure anyone would know what im talking about, and there's a good chance posts like this would end up doxxing myself but this is the only place i have online friends so. does anyone else ever use a message board on tv?

i mean a literal message board. a forum. a group chat. but instead of being in some server of an app, its in television.

you see, my hometown used to have a local cable tv provider. it was not an entirely legal business, because instead of buying the license to air international shows, they simply pirate or reroute them from other, legitimate cable tv's. a few years later, they began to expand their market. they made their own broadcast station, and starts making content. its just local news and boring talkshows. and occasionally old horror movies, that are also pirated. but during prime time, they have this music program.

the music program was special. there was no host. the music video is tucked in a small corner on the left, and sometimes the video is replaced by a CCTV footage of the city. under the video box, there are ads and announcements about the tv station and the company as a whole. the bottom banner is news. the right side was the message board.

so here's how it works. you send a text, an sms, or a blackberry message. you'll request music, or just say hi, and your message will appear a few minutes later on tv. so, its like a group chat, but there's a feature to request music and everyone can join in and look into the conversation. the program ran for a couple years, i remember it already existing in 2009. i see quite a lot of people talking and getting to know each other. it was a community. until ofc, things die out eventually when they get more ads and replace the program with actual music videos or movies ripped off from youtube.

it made me so nostalgic. i was too young to have my own phone so i mostly lurk. but i read a lot of those conversations and feel like i also have friends on a screen. i learn how to leetspeak from there. i uSed t0 typ3 simil4r 2 th1s 4 bri3f mom3nt before i get 'not like other girls' complex and type with perfect grammar and punctuation.

now, theoretically, i could find a way to track the people who used to frequent those boards and be friends but look. a few years ago the boss of that channel station was found guilty of piracy. he got six months parole with no prison time despite doing that illegal streaming business for years, becuase indos are cool people who doesnt care about ip law that much. and his company have been expanding on other ventures like wifi or security systems, all the while slowly abandoning his broadcast station. so the program doesnt exist anymore and they might even destroyed the tapes containing that music program, if its even recorded.

also, im not even sure if it exists anywhere else. like, its so hard for me to describe what kind of show it was! i dont even have a photo of that show, it was 2009 and my dad still uses a payphone!!!!! do you think i would have a convenient camera on hand? *sigh* goodbye strange music program. i never knew what i had until its gone :(

[qqueenofhades]

pel!ivan and fedyor went through a lot of ups and some downs from the end of pel and 2021 but they also celebrated 10 years together 🥳 i hope fedyor shoved cake into ivan’s face and also you know, im sure they were mushy like the saps they are

Ivan was supposed to be out of here ten minutes ago – actually, at this point, more like twenty – but the clients are still fucking talking, and if they keep it up much longer, he’s going to add it to the bill for “initial consultation.” Drew has a man-bun and unbearably hip black glasses, and works as a developer for some start-up app that he’s tried to convince Ivan to download at least twelve times. (What does the app actually do? Don’t know don’t care.) Mia is thin, blonde, waifish, smells like essential oils, and has been flitting around with her smartphone the entire time, getting in Ivan’s way as she snaps perfectly filtered pictures of the “developmental process” and posts them nonstop on Instagram. They both have a lot of opinions on how they want the energy of the space to feel, and a preapproved list of ethically sourced suppliers. They have paid some ludicrous price for this converted loft in Prospect Heights and chose the location for its proximity to the best farmer’s markets and hippie coffeehouses. Did Ivan die? Is this hell?

Somewhat ostentatiously, he looks at his watch. “Okay,” he announces. “I think that wraps up. You have work number, so – ”

“Oh, just one more thing!” Drew has recently read one (1) book on home design and thinks he’s an expert, so Ivan is forced to suffer his idiotic opinions about the kind of tile they want to use on the kitchen backsplash. Somehow, he manages not to roll his eyes directly out of his head, for which he should be commended. Ivan has discovered that the secret of successfully dealing with people, especially clients, is to smile and nod at everything they say, while mercilessly mocking them in your head. Amazing, the things you learn as a small-business owner in Brooklyn in the year of our lord 2021. Especially when it comes to renovating overpriced tiny gentrified apartments for insufferable techno-douchebags and their vapid influencer girlfriends. And people think Ivan might want to live like this more often? No fucking thank you.

Finally (it’s another ten minutes after that, this is definitely going on the bill), they more or less wrap up, except for the fact that Mia then wants a picture with the three of them. “It’s just so important to us that we’re supporting the immigrant community,” she explains earnestly. “After all, being open, tolerant, learning from our neighbors, people who are different from us, that’s what life is all about. We just love that you’re foreign. The energy feels so right, you know?”

Ivan wonders whether to inform her that he has lived in this country for eight years and been a full citizen (passport and voting rights and everything) for three, then decides that this would venture into sharing-personal-information territory and he is having none of it. His English has improved to the point where he can handle almost all business transactions by himself, but feigning incomprehension can sometimes get him out of them when they turn really stupid. Unfortunately, that isn’t an option here, and so he diligently leans into the frame, smiling half an inch, while Mia snaps a picture of “us and our adorable Russian contractor!!” Ivan informs her of the correct flag emoji to add to the filter, decides that he’s going to add an extra fifty bucks just for that, and finally, finally, makes his escape.

It’s rush hour, and the Q is crammed as Ivan heads into midtown. So much for social distancing and not getting too close to anyone, which is the only thing from the pandemic that he wouldn’t mind keeping. Only about half the crowd is wearing masks, including him, and so he gets off at Times Square, dodges the latest lunatic standing on a soapbox and shouting about how it is all a hoax, and walks several blocks uptown, just to get some space. He finally reaches the restaurant, where he has to flash his vaccination card to get inside (Ivan, who remains Russian to the marrow of his bones, is a little irked that he couldn’t get Sputnik here and had to settle for Pfizer) and climbs up to the open-air rooftop terrace. It is only when he spots his husband, waiting at a table that overlooks the glittering evening lights of the city, when Ivan pulls off his mask and allows himself to properly smile. “Sorry I’m late,” he says. “They are the worst.”

“I figured it was something like that.” Fedyor musters a smile in return, though his eyes look permanently tired these days and Ivan would bet that he’s been scrolling through more depressing emails on his phone. Technically Fedyor is on a two-month sabbatical from work, but he can’t stop himself, and Ivan has had to pry it from his fingers on a number of occasions. “But you’re here now. That’s what matters.”

Ivan nods stoutly, they are furnished with the drinks and appetizers list, and when the waiter asks if there’s any special occasion tonight, tell him that they are celebrating their ten-year anniversary, albeit somewhat late. This was supposed to happen last spring, but obviously, nobody in New York was going out to a restaurant in the early months of 2020, and Ivan himself had barely gotten home from the hospital and still could be knocked over in a strong breeze. They’re celebrating a lot of things tonight, in other words, even if it’s now been eleven years, not ten, since the day Ivan marched into a Red Square coffee shop and engaged in – well, Fedyor has made sure to inform him that the first date didn’t go nearly as well as Ivan always thought it did. But it worked, didn’t it? Here they are, wedding bands on their fingers, a couple of successful American urban professionals who have built a nice life for themselves and are, if anything, even more madly in love than they were when this whole nutty adventure together first began. So really, if you ask Ivan Sakharov Kaminsky, it went just fine after all.

The waiter congratulates them, gives them two drinks for the price of one, and they both relax and start to talk, fully at ease in the way they only are in each other’s company. Ivan does his Mia impression in an extremely convincing falsetto (after all, [NAME REDACTED] has practice at this) and Fedyor almost dies laughing. They hold hands on the table – no need to hold them under the table – and gaze into each other’s eyes all they want, order dinner and dessert, and take a long time about it. They raise several toasts to this, to them, to ten years, may there be many more. Ivan pays the bill, his treat, and they walk slowly back to Times Square, hand-in-hand, Fedyor’s head nestled on Ivan’s shoulder. It’s New York. Nobody cares.

They ride the Q home, in all its smelly, secondhand glory, taking an hour to bang out to Brighton Beach and descending the elevated stairs into the familiar down-at-heel comfort of their Russian-American neighborhood, neon Cyrillic signs glowing in windows and somebody shouting about how if Sergei ever shows his face here again, she is going to cut his dick off. Ivan and Fedyor look at each other and snort, resisting the urge to shout up and ask what exactly Sergei did, and walk a few more minutes to their building. They climb up three flights of stairs to their apartment, unlock the door and the deadbolt, and step inside.

The instant they are home, Rasputin shoots out of nowhere, yowling as if he has been neglected for months, and curls himself around Ivan’s ankles (he is still liable to give Fedyor evil looks when he feels that this interloper has been stealing his human too often). Ivan sighs, trudges to the kitchen, points out to Rasputin that his food bowl is still half full, gets a wounded look in return, and adds an extra scoopful. Once the cat is happily snarfing down, Fedyor pulls Ivan by the hand, into the dim living room with its blowing curtains. “Come here, my love,” he says. “Hold me.”

Ivan does as ordered, because it’s his favorite thing in the world: cuddling Fedyor close, nothing but the two of them in all of time and space, swaying slowly in the blue hour with fingers and arms and hearts entwined. Ivan kisses Fedyor’s temple, and Fedyor nestles even closer, melted into his embrace. “I love you, Vanya,” he mumbles against Ivan’s collarbone. “I love you so much. I love you more than anything in the world. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too, Fedya.” Ivan leans down and kisses him properly, sweet and slow and lingering, as they continue to waltz in stately time to a music that nobody except the two of them can hear. “I’m still not always sure why you married me, but I am very glad you did.”

[a-singleboat]

Virtual Reality

Word Count: 2.4k

Request: hi! if your taking requests, i was wondering if you could write a damien x reader, where they meet through Twitch? add anything else you want i always love everything you write, thanks so much!! - anon

Warning(s): like, one swear

It was a Thursday night when you first met him, or rather, heard of him. You had been streaming for five hours heading into your sixth when you decided it might be time for you to log off for the night. As per usual, you took at least thirty minutes at the end of your stream just to talk with your viewers, usually about how their lives were going in exchange for a story from your own day. 

Tonight, however, there was an influx of people asking if you’d ever heard of a streamer by the name of Damien Haas, which you hadn’t, and if you would do a collaboration with the man anytime soon. Apparently, your content was eerily similar and you were, and I quote, “Practically the female version of him, looks aside.” 

“Damien Haas…” you rolled yourself back closer to your desk, hands settled on your keyboard. You typed his name into the search bar, patiently waiting for Twitch to pull up his account. You clicked into the first one, making an impressed face at the purple checkmark next to his name. You squinted at the screen. “Is this him? In the profile picture with the LEDs in the background?” 

You glanced at your chat, chuckling as the viewers started spamming ‘yes’ and ‘oh my god it’s happening,’ and your personal favorite, ‘mom come pick me up the best crossover of 2020 is happening and im SCARED.’

“He plays a lot of Animal Crossing,” you observed, clicking on one of his videos and dragging the tab onto your main monitor so the stream could see it. You skipped through the beginning part, biting into a pretzel as you watched. 

“He’s kinda cute,” you commented, laughing as your stream freaked out once more. There were a few people commenting what looked like it could be a ship name though you ignored it. “Shame I’d never meet him, though.”

You paused his video, taking note of the time, before rolling out your shoulders. “I think it’s time for me to head out so I’m gonna end this stream with a huge thank you to you all for sticking with me through this entire stream and if you didn’t stay the entire time, I’m glad you decided to join in on the ride even halfway through. I’ll see you guys next time.”

You ended the stream, waving goodbye to your viewers before the light went out and you could relax the smile off your face. Don’t get it twisted, you loved streaming and you loved your viewers but just like any other job, it could get exhausting at times. You shut down your monitors, the screens turning blue before fading to black. You stretched, taking your phone up from its charger and launching yourself into bed, opening your phone and clicking on Twitter. 

Much like staying thirty minutes after you were done streaming to talk to viewers, you usually went on Twitter right after to answer questions and respond to DMs. This time, however, instead of opening the app to see a bunch of post-stream questions, your mentions were filled with the video clip of you saying, “He’s kinda cute,” as well as maybe a million people tagging both you and Damien in them. 

Well, shit. 

Soon enough, that was all that filled your timeline. You couldn’t move in one direction without running into another screencap of you admiring the man. God, you knew the consequences but something in the back of your mind was urging you to reach out to him.

After a few moments of contemplation, the lonely side of you won out, forcing you to message him against your better judgment. Without even thinking about it, you found his Twitter and sent this message:

Hey, I’m sorry about your mentions blowing up because of me tonight. My viewers recommended your Twitch to me and I spoke without thinking about it on Live. 

And with no expectation of his response, you fell asleep right there with your phone on your chest and the DM still open. 

You woke up the next morning with a sore neck and a dead phone, which was a terrible way to start your day. You rolled over, plugging your device into an outlet before crawling out of bed to start your day. When you weren’t streaming, you worked as a freelance editor for different YouTubers, helping their editors with their workload or even staying on as a Temp for different companies. Occasionally you edited the odd commercial here and there, but those gigs were rare. 

Most recently, you had received some material from a group of YouTubers, Smosh. This job was different, however, because if you did well on this you could be looking at a permanent place of employment through their parent company, Mythical Entertainment. 

You knew Mythical Entertainment, it was hard not to, especially since your aunt was one of the producers within the company, but tended to ignore everything the company did. The last you’d heard, they’d onboarded another YouTube group (which you did later find out to be Smosh, the same YouTubers whose video you were hired to edit). 

 After a quick shower and a half-assed attempt at a proper breakfast, you were ready to start your day. You situated yourself behind your monitors, opening the video clips that had been sent to you. The first was a sample video, something that gave you insight on what their editing style was actually like. 

But imagine your surprise when you’re staring down the same man you have called cute the night before, his approximately five-eleven stance taking up one-sixth of the space. He was standing next to a blond, who had been marked as “Shayne Topp.”

Despite there being five other people in frame, your eyes kept moving back to Damien’s figure, watching his mannerisms through the screen and laughing along to his jokes when they fell upon deaf ears. 

Your eyes slid over to your phone, now decently charged after sitting for so long. On your screen were dozens of notifications. There were maybe two from your mom, asking if you’d be coming home for dinner sometime that week but the majority came from Twitter. You picked up the device, unlocking and responding to your mom with a, “yes,” before opening Twitter. 

Nothing much had changed from the night prior. Your mentions were still being flooded with the video from last night but newer content had been ushered in, namely fan edits using footage from your streams and, you assumed, his. 

The only major difference, however, was the fact that Damien had responded to your DM from the night prior. The first message read: 

It’s really no problem! My stream had mentioned your name before, too.

Followed by the second:

P.S. I think you’re cute, too.

You couldn’t believe your eyes. Mr. Damien Haas, the man that you had made a thoughtless comment on stream about, also thought that you were cute. Suddenly, the fact that you had been staring at him for the past hour seemed less stalkerish and more like a blooming crush. You wrote back:

Aw, thanks! Have you seen the newer fan edits? They’re all so talented.

You cringed at yourself. A cute boy started talking to you and you’ve suddenly forgotten how to be suave, not that you really were in the first place. But still, you liked to think you had some tact when talking to people that you found attractive. 

Not even a moment later, there came a response. 

Yes, I have, he responded. And I agree! They are all very talented individuals. 

You looked from the monitor in front of you. You had about a quarter of the footage left to go through before you could start editing but this technically wasn’t due until the following night. Feeling emboldened by the fact that he had actually responded, you replied:

Are you going to TwitchCon on Friday? We should meet up or something. 

Anxiously you awaited his response, taking his silence as an opportunity to watch a bit more of the footage and take down notes according to the sample they’d given you. Roughly thirty minutes later is when the next response came in, reading as an affirmative to both questions. 

You didn’t respond, choosing to leave your social media for after you’d finished editing the video. Your heart still pounded, however. Just the thought that there was a possibility for the two of you to meet was, simply put, insane. You’d just heard of the guy the night before and decided that he was going to be your latest hyperfixation. 

But who could blame you? He was a nice, funny guy that showed the slightest bit of attraction towards you. It didn’t help that you were a sucker for guys that were nice to you. 

Fast forward to the Friday of TwitchCon, also known as the first day of TwitchCon. You and Damien had been talking steadily over Twitter DMs and just last night you had gained his phone number, giving you even more access to the man than you had before. But of course, who were you if you didn’t tease your fans with the prospect of you meeting. 

The night before, at the end of your stream, you’d given your fans the little tidbit of information that you and Damien were, in fact, planning on meeting up sometime during TwitchCon and would be greeting fans together for an hour at your booth. 

That sent Twitter into a frenzy, both of your combined fans getting your ship name to trend within the hour, which confused the hell out of a bunch of locals. 

It was nearing the time you and Damien had set to meet up. The plan was you’d meet around twelve for lunch, take an hour for yourselves, before going back to your booth and meeting with fans for an hour or so as promised. 

You had never been more nervous than you were in that moment. Not only were you about to meet your three-day-old crush but apparently a very popular YouTuber. You tried not to let the thought mess with your head. One of your friends, Wilbur Soot (who you played Minecraft with from time to time) was poking fun at you for being nervous about meeting a popular YouTuber. 

After three years of streaming and gaining a solid following, you’d think you’d be used to meeting other popular content creators. But because it was him, you found yourself unable to think straight. 

“What if I fuck up?” you asked Wilbur anxiously. He’d flown in from London for this event at your insistence and because you’d offered to pay half his airfare to get there and back. He didn’t have his own booth as his arrival was very last minute, but he didn’t mind. He signed the occasional poster though his main purpose was to provide you mental and emotional support. 

“You won’t fuck up,” he comforted, leafing through one of the comics a fan had given you. The entire thing was hand-drawn, which was an insane fact in itself. It looked professional, which was what blew you away when you’d received it. “Well, you won’t fuck up as badly as you did when you first met Schlatt.”

You groaned in embarrassment. “Don’t remind me.”

Long story short, you’d dumped a red in color slushy on the man accidentally after tripping over an unmarked cable. It really wasn’t your fault but the boys hadn’t let you live it down since then. 

Half a moment later, Wilbur was poking your side. “Is that him?” he asked, jabbing his pointer finger into your side while looking in the opposite direction. He was looking at a familiar figure walking down the hallway toward your booth. He stopped for a moment to take a photo with a fan, talking to them about something, before continuing on his way toward you. 

Your eyes locked and you gave him a smile while trying to beat Wilbur into no longer poking you. He stopped when you slapped his arm the first time, sticking his tongue at you before going on his phone. You rolled your eyes at his half-assed attempt of pretending he wasn’t about to start listening in on your conversation. 

“Hey, Y/n, right?” Damien asked as he approached. You nodded, reaching out for a handshake but becoming pleasantly surprised when he instead pulled you in for a hug. 

“You ready for lunch?” you asked glaring slightly at Wilbur as he made kissy faces over Damien’s shoulder. Luckily, Damien hadn’t noticed your moron of a best friend. 

“Yeah, I saw this sushi place on the way in if you wanted to try that?”

“I’d be down,” you agreed, reaching behind your table to grab your bag. Wilbur was set to meet with a few other Minecraft streamers, meaning you didn’t have to worry about him while you had lunch. You looked over your shoulder, making sure everything was set for you to leave before saying goodbye to Wilbur. 

Over the course of lunch, you and Damien had gotten to know each other pretty well. Once the conversation moved away from your fans and, well, work, and more into personal details, you found that you actually weren’t all that similar. For starters, Damien loved watching anime while your guilty pleasure was Gilmore Girls. The one show you both had a love for, however, was Avatar the Last Airbender, which made sense. 

Another thing was that he actually enjoyed being in front of the camera while you tolerated it on most days, really only putting on your face cam for the last thirty minutes on most days. Despite that, he still classified himself as an introvert. 

You returned back to your booth much later than you anticipated, thoroughly shocked at the line that had formed with Wilbur at the front of it, entertaining the fans that had shown up early to meet both you and Damien. 

“Y/n!” one fan called, pointing in your direction. Immediately, the entire line turned and gaped at the sight of you and Damien walking together. You greeted them happily, stopping for pictures and verbally promising that you’d stay until you got to meet everyone personally. 

“You really love your fans,” Damien observed as you put your things back down behind the table. Wilbur had set up shop on your right side, chatting with a few people at the front of the line. 

“I wouldn’t be anywhere without them,” you admitted, pulling a silver sharpie from your bag. You handed a gold one to Damien. “I also wouldn’t have gotten to meet you without them, which I’m still sorry about, by the way. Your feed must have been chaotic.”

“You have no idea,” he chuckled. “But everything happens for a reason.”

You nodded, grinning up at him. “Yes, they do.” 

Permanent

@beautiful-holland @toms-order @starlightfound @grandmascottlang @positiveparker @bippity-boppity-boopa @caswinchester2000 @andreasworlsboring101 @imladylunaticbitch​

[glassartpeasants]

Dead to Me

Neito Monoma x Reader

Warnings: Angst, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, this gets dark so read at your own risk guys

A/N: Like i said this is one of the darker things iv’e wrote on this so blog so far. Not for the faint of heart.

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You sat in the cafeteria looking across the head of your fellow classmates to see your boyfriend Monoma sitting with his own class. You tried to catch his attention but it proved to be a failure.

“Well that didnt work...” You saw with a grumpy look on your face.

“Man how did you even end up dating him (y/n)? He’s an asshole to the entire Class of 1A!” Your friend Mina said as she gave you a little pout.

“I dont know he just ended up asking me out and now we’re dating!” You said happily. Even though Monoma could be a bit much sometimes you still loved him with your entire being.

You turn your head again to see to bright baby blue eyes looking at you. You smile and wave at him waiting for him to wave back. You hand slowly went down as you saw him laughing and pointing at you. 

You never head good self esteem so your mind immediately went to thinking that he was making fun of you. Your cheeky smile turning into a small frown as you glanced again to see him still laughing.

‘Maybe he’s just laughing at someone else?’ You thought to yourself, trying to convince your mind that he wouldnt make fun of you. He loved you...

Right?

================================================

A few days after the cafeteria incident you had begun to notice that Monoma was starting to hang out with you less and less. You wanted to ask him about it but you didnt want to be seen as clingy. So you just suffered in silence as you watched him slowly drift away from you. Your head sending you all the signals to ask him, but your heart wanted to believe that there was a good reason to why he was doing it.

You were walking towards the 1A Class when some upperclassman decided it would be funny to pick on you.

“Wow would you look at this little baby! How did someone so usless get into a school such as UA?” Him and his buddies only laughed as you try to stutter out an insult. You turn your head towards the door and see Monoma walking out, you tried to get his attention, which worked this time but instead of helping you he only turned his head and walked towards his classroom. You turn your gaze back to the upperclassman before getting a quick slap to the face by one of them.

“Speak when spoken to bitch.”

================================================

The bullying from the upperclassman had started to really take a toll on your mental health. You would try to do anything in your power to avoid them but they always found you. You wanted to tell the teachers but you were afraid they would believe you. They planted that thought in your brain as you slowly believed them.

You begged Monoma to walk you to class, hoping if he saw the fear in your eyes he would listen. Much to your dismay he didn’t.

You would always come to class with some sort of new bruise on your body. Everyone started to worry about you, they slowly started to think Monoma was abusing you. Which you said wasn’t the case. When asked who did it, you tensed up and froze in fear, worrying that they may be near.

You finally told someone about it when you were hanging out with Jirou. She had asked you what was going and you finally told her what was happening. And everything that has been happening with Monoma. She looked at you and gave you a nice bone crushing hug as she asked you why you didnt tell anyone.

“I was afraid they wouldn’t believe me..”

“Oh (v/n)...were going to report them. Im not standing by and watch as you get hurt!”

================================================

A few weeks have passed since then and things were finally starting to be looking up! The upperclassmen who were bullying you had gotten expelled since, ‘bullying is not what hero’s do’. You were finally able to walk the halls with being in constant fear again. Your mental health still wasnt at its peak but it was slowly getting better!

But only one more thing still wasn’t looking brighter. And that was your relationship with Monoma. He kept on acting the same way, maybe even worse then before! As much as you hated the feeling you had started to grow bitter. Why was he ignoring you? What did you do to make him pissed at you?

You finally swallowed your anxiety and went up to talk to him. Taking a deep breath as you went up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. You were the only one’s in the hallway.

“Hey Monoma..did i..did i do something wrong?” You said trying to sound confident.

“What do you mean?” He asked. You sense a hint of smugness in his voice.

“Like you’ve been ignoring me all this week...what happened i thought we were doing-”

“Ah ah ah ah, im going to stop your right there. You see my dear our little ‘relationship’ was all but a dare.” Your eyes widen as sadness washed over you like a tidal wave. That couldn’t be tu\rue he said that he had loved you..was it all just a lie?

“W-what? B-b-but i thought y-you-”

“Well you thought wrong dear (y/n).” A snicker after his words. Your eyes swelled up with tears before pushing away from Monoma and running back to the dorms. Not caring if you missed class.

================================================

You sat in your dorm, crying your soul out. You had loved him and told him secrets that no one else knew. You thought he truly loved you. The more you thought about it the more it hurt. You felt like your whole world came crashing down. Your tears burning your face as they kept coming.

Ding!

You looked down at your phone to see a text from Kirishima asking why you weren’t in class today. You could see the text message with it counting as reading it. You have to click on the app to do that. You throw your phone to the other side of your bed before laying back down and crying some more.

Once you woke up from your nap, the thoughts came rushing back again. What if they were just like Monoma? What if they were only your friends because of a dare too? 

All those thoughts running through your head at inhumane speeds, until one stayed still.

What if you just ended it?

Your heart stopped at the thought. Why would your brain even think about that? But no matter how hard you tried to forget the said thought more and more voices plowed there way through your head filling it with horrible thoughts. Slowly picking at your insecurities. Feasting on your every flaw. You slowly get up from your tear stained bed. And you look at yourself in the mirror.

Fat

Ugly

Worthless

All but a dare

The last thought hit you like a brick as you fall to the floor with your head in your knees.

Your quirk was called Frost. You pretty much had the power to manipulate Frost. Meaning everything you touched would become covered in an a sheet of ice. That why you had to wear gloves, kinda like Shigaraki you needed to have all five fingers on said target for your power to work.

You just stared at your hand, tracing over every curve and looking at it with deep intensity. Before you could do anything else you put all five fingers on your ankle, causing your ankle begin to have a sheet of ice covering it. The frost started to quickly spread around your body and onto the floor. You head you head in your knees as you felt your body heat lower, the Ice completely claiming your body as one. A single tear slipped down your face before your entire body and room was covered in a layer of ice. Your phone buzzing with texts from worried classmates.

================================================

After class had ended practically the entire class of 1A ran to their dorms to find you. You never missed a class. 

As soon as they entire the dorms they all shivered. It had to be below zero in there. As they hugged themselves tightly they walked up to your room. As the tried to knock and upon the door they had realized the handle had been frozen solid. Bakugo having enough time worrying blasted the door open with his quirk. Everyone gasped as they saw your frozen form on the other side of the wall. They were quick to grab you out of the ice and bring you to Mr. Aizawa.

Once they reached him, he asked what happened. Which they all replied with i dont know. You were quickly taken to the nearest hospital everyone doing their best to thaw you out of your frozen cocoon.

Once at the hospital your body had been completely thawed out and was ready to be put in EC unit. You body temp was so low that they put every heater they had in the room.

The nurse looked at the class and told them that if they were a minute later you would have died from hypothermia.

================================================

Monoma walked into school the next and was met with angry and ugly looks the entire time.

‘They hell did i do?’ He thought to himself. You never once crossed his mind. 

Liar

After he said those things to you the look of betrayal and sadness in your eyes shot a spike of guilt through his chest. Before he could say anything you had run out of the building. 

Now here he was the day after you got put in the hospital reciving ugly looks from everyone.

“Hey Kendo do you know what everyone is talking about?” The blonde boy asked his ginger friend.

“Wait, you didnt hear? (y/n) is in the hospital. Apparently they tried to commit suicide. Sad right?” A wave of guilt, sadness, and disgust completely takes over his body.

 How could he live with himself knowing what he did to you? That he made you take that dark path.

News Flash he couldn’t.

The next day the blonde boy walked up the he hospital you resided at and getting ready to see you.

Once he saw your lifeless form he dashed his way to the bed to slowly stroke your hair. Sitting on a chair to get closer to you before hearing you wake up.

You slowly turn to Monoma, your eyes once filled with happiness was now full of hate and disgust.

“What are you doing here?” You snapped at the boy. Disgust evident in your voice.

“i just came to say-” 

“Leave.”

“What?” Your words shushed him as he looked at you with wide eyes was he tried to grab your cheek to make you look at him.

“You heard me leave. I never want to see you again you understand Neito Monoma?” You looked him right in those blue eyes you use to love so much and said something you could never go back on.

“Your dead to me.”

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same