#sometimes it sure is food for thought
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im usually eh about hetbend but then other times i get rly rly into a tgirl headcanon and im like man. what if they were straight.
#or well they would likely end up bisexual but you get me#sometimes it sure is food for thought#←likes to entertain it for tkmm indeed#tthn is also fun to think about....... canon already kinda has that vibe sometimes ←delusional#mar's midnight rambles
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The thing about "Worst Case Scenario" is that Seska rewriting a program to torture and ultimately murder Tuvok for his "betrayal" of the Maquis suggests that she was loyal to the Maquis, and not only because of her feelings for Chakotay. She would've had to booby trap the program before "State of Flux," because she's under intense scrutiny then and there's not really enough time anyway. Which suggests to me that she was fueled by real rage: if Tuvok had reopened the program, and been killed by it, how could she have possibly gotten away with it? She wasn't planning to leave at that point, and (!) she specifically depicts herself as Bajoran, not, in some big gotcha moment, as Cardassian:
When Seska returns in this episode [...] the holographic Seska also slightly differs, in appearance, from how the actual Seska ever looked. "We […] see Seska in an incarnation we had never really seen her in before," Martha Hackett commented. "They changed everything – her hair and costume – because it's her creation in the hologram." (Star Trek Monthly issue 34, p. 40)
(Emphasis mine)
This, coupled with her big speech in "State of Flux," makes me wonder whether she would've ever revealed herself as Cardassian, if she hadn't been caught. She seems still to believe in the superiority of Cardassia ("If this had been a Cardassian ship, we would be home now!"), yet follows up with,
"I did it for you. I did it for this crew. We are alone here, at the mercy of any number of hostile aliens, because of the incomprehensible decision of a Federation captain. A Federation captain who destroyed our only chance to get home. Federation rules. Federation nobility. Federation compassion? Do you understand? [...] We must begin to forge alliances. To survive, we must have powerful friends."
We are alone. We must have powerful friends. I don't know how this has never occurred to me, but textually speaking, with the notable exception of Incomprehensible Federation Captain Janeway, Seska seems deeply invested in the community she is ultimately forced to leave. It's, actually, a kind of reverse Ro Laren situation. What a twist.
#this ramble brought to you by listening to the ep twice in the throes of food poisoning#it's true i don't spend a lot time with seska meta#but still i can't believe i've never thought of this#though i'm sure others have who are paying better attention#i sometimes think this is what happens when you watch the show as a kid and forget to later turn your adult brain on#ANYWAY#seska#star trek voyager#meta
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it. is. CRAZY being like "oh I want to keep my pet healthy, maybe I should look into upgrading to a higher quality food" and you do a bunch of googling abt what percentages of fat/protein/etc a food should be and you find the stuff that's the Most Recommended for dog health or whatever it is, and then you look at the reviews for what is apparently a very reputable brand and it's like DOG DIED DOG HAD BLOODY DIARRHEA DOG IS LOSING FUR I FED MY PUPPY THIS AND HIS KIDNEYS ALMOST SHUT DOWN AT 3MO OLD DOGS VOMITED HAD TO BE ON FLUIDS AT THE VET like. huh... I see <-- doesn't get it at all
#SAY AGAIN DEPUTY???????#man. fuck. what#on second thought maybe Hugo's kibble is expensive enough.#I'm not gonna shop around for new food unless my vet tells me to. tbh#sometimes... things that are expensive.......... are worse#it's so weird too bc the first few ingredients for his food aren't as High Quality sounding as the ones for the poison food#but the bad reviews for HIS food are like. too expensive!! this food should have more Pure ingredients#and I'm like yeah sure I agree with you that it's very pricy and everything but nobody's in here saying their dog's organs shut down#so. eat up boy#sergle.txt
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something in me thinks that if you were dating him, modern!80s!james would call you “honey” when you’re alone together.
#idk if this makes sense but he def loves acting like a little married couple at the end of the day#he calls you ‘honey’ and feed you little bites of whatever food he’s eating#he’ll let you snuggle up to him while you read a book and he watches tv#sometimes he’ll ask what you’re reading about#and he’ll be tucking your hair behind your ear all gentle#this is completely self indulgent#and incoherent#but someone understands me i’m sure#james hetfield#papa het#modern!80s!james#bub’s thoughts
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it's so crazy to me how many people don't know ocd gives you intrusive thoughts. that's literally the entire disorder. it's The intrusive thoughts disorder that's kinda it's whole thing
#it really shows how stigmatized ocd is though#like no it's not always about making sure everything is clean#sometimes it's making yourself dinner and looking down at your dog who is begging for food and immediately being assaulted with the very#distressing thought of violently stabbing your dog with a knife#and then being scared you'll somehow do it on accident and that you're a horrible person but you have to force yourself to continue making#dinner anyway but now making dinner has an extra step of surviving personally inflicted psychological warfare so it's an awful experience#was that a hyperspecific example? why yes. yes it was
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:((
#cw animal death#i suppose. anyhow#finished my morning plans early and decided to run some errands but ofc saw the pet store and stopped#went to go look at the birds and saw one lying on his back#first thought he was just playing around bc sometimes that species goes on their backs and roll around#common trait for them bc they're silly yk#anyways noticed his food was empty and his chest wasn't raising at all so#had to tell the employees bc they hadn't realized the poor guy was dead#at least it was early in the day so no little kid had to see#still disappointing tho they can't even take care of them or make sure it isn't dead#but all of his food was like tossed from the bowl onto the floor of his cage#under the rack or wtvr u call it so he couldn't reach it#idk man it was interesting ig kinda sad bc i thought he was cute and was thinking of getting him#also a shame that no one else could keep his cuteness#the species lives long too like 20-30 years if i remember correctly and this guy was just a couple months old i think#he looked oddly peaceful tho. maybe bc it wasn't a cause of a fight like the last dead bird i saw#anyways on a nicer note the employee had nice piercings#and she was pretty#okay off to errands again bye
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Dameon and I are going to share some of my of favorite chips!
#viti shoosh#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#viti's plushies#plushie: dameon#I'm sure most people would think ketchup chips are unappetizing. maybe even yucky#but I love em!#I really love ketchup and these remind me of my childhood#growing up sometimes we wouldn't have food. so I'd eat ketchup sandwiches#which is a slice or 2 of bread (or a plain burger bun) with ketchup slathered all over#there was times we'd also just straight up have these chips at bbq's#but for many years I haven't seen these chips#tbh I thought they were entirely discontinued in America#until recently!! the gas station next to my apartment sells them on rare occasions#so I always buy up most of their stock of them in order to have some for later#just in case they don't get a new order of them#and to also show the gas station owner that this flavor does sell so they'll hopefully keep restocking
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Trans sadeas is a hilarious concept for being a guy who did the Super Fucking Transgressive Thing of jumping gender ship in fucking Vorin society (strictly fucking gendered) and then living mostly stealth for 35 years and going Dalinar you’re not a real man because you like killing people slightly less than you used to. With zero self awareness
#luke.txt#LIKE I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES FANON LOOKS AT HIS QUEERCODED DISNEY VILLAIN SWAG AND GOES oh Sadeas plays with gender somewhat doesn’t he#NOPE HE IS 100% VORIN MAN ITS INSANE HOW MASC HE IS IN UNIVERSE#but of course he’s all about perfectly curating himself and I’m sure if he didn’t have like 13 layers of internalized shit going on#he wouldn’t also be. like. stealing food off Ialai’s plate like she steals food off of his. reading brazenly. shit like that#but alas you can’t give dalinar shit for not being hot anymore I mean not being a Proper Man Anymore#without also never doing any of that shit#drunkposting#sadeas you fucking weirdo#although maybe he’s like Dalinar 🥚?#and the thought of Dalinar as a woman makes him feel Bad for gender reasons because he’s staked so much of his dalinarfucking on being#a man fucking a man. so to have that retroactively untrue is uncomfortable to him#to which I say Sadeas that is a real person get over yourself
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oops, got myself thinking again about byan having a little hoard of weird and random trinkets and shiny things hidden away under their bed in the same way that some cats have collections of bottle caps under furniture.
like, none of it is particularly meaningful and they don't wear any of the jewelry that's under there, but they like to pull it all out once in a while to look at and are always adding more
#there's a lot of jewelry but there's a lot of other shiny things and weirder stuff too#like there's a heart shaped rock they stole from someone in elementary and some pretty feathers they've found on the ground#but then there's also a wrapper from a cute snack they had and a bone from some random animal they found in a park#colourful buttons and cute ribbons and a trading card from a game they've never played#and probably also a pink bottle cap tbh#literally just a random collection of Stuff they like but have no use for#it's a collection they've had to rebuild a few times too#bc staff/caretakers at the group home(s) would find it all sometimes and throw away whatever looked like junk or trash#tbh it's a collection they still have and add to even after they move in w sol and start sharing a bed#and they still keep it under the bed ofc bc it's habit at this point and honestly I'm not so sure they've even told him it's there 🤔#...im rambling bc I'm kinda buzzed but like. idk I love byan and their pile of random shit#I think part of what got them started was want to actually Have Things bc they grew up not having much#and they would ABSOLUTELY get jealous of kids at school who had all kinds of belongings#who could have coherent collections and all the cool toys and shit#so they just started collecting anything that caught their eye#even if it was labels off of bottles or those cheap erasers shaped like animals or food or w/e that don't actually erase anything#and it's a habit that persisted after they started stealing basically anything they wanted/needed#and will continue to persist even once they have a job and money to buy what they want#god I kept rambling even after trying to wrap things up smh#this is the shit I'm talking about when I say I have weirdly specific and detailed thoughts about inane and unimportant aspects of byan#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.
#a sock speaks#local construction#fundamentally I lack the confidence needed to be a writer or a teacher#on the one hand I can't brazen my way out of this by pretending to be confident. I need to actually have the knowledge and skills I claim.#on the other hand I can't just say I'll be confident once I have more knowledge and experience. I have a master's degree!#I want to get more school but more school on its own will not fix this#I've let opportunities pass by because I was depressed. I didn't see how I could be enough for them.#or I was too tired (because I was depressed)#but sometimes it's bc I'm not sure if trying would make things better or worse (that one's on the OCD more than depression)#it makes sense that I lack confidence because of inexperience. but I can only gain experience by going for it. doing things badly is good.#it makes sense that I'm scared to face criticism. I've faced my whole community against me.#I've been stuck at someone's house debating scripture for hours with a migraine and no food. I think that was mildly traumatic for me.#but in most cases I am physically safe and the physical fear is irrational. I can work on this with some gentle exposure therapy.#but I need to bring together the effort to organize my thoughts and the bravado to hold my ground in an argument#and I can only build up this confidence with practice. I need to write. I need to do public speaking.#I'd need a platform for speaking (I'd hate to do a podcast or vlog but it'd be good for me)#but I should write! why am I not writing more? I need to write. writing is the way forward#several years ago I was in such deep despair with life that in order to survive I told myself#that I just had to survive. I didn't have to achieve anything or prove myself in any way as long as I stayed alive#and I went to grad school in Georgia not because I saw a path to a career in biblical studies but because school made me want to be alive#(extremely bizarre case of grad school not being the problem. I know.)#I know I missed a lot of benefits I could've had if I'd been mentally healthy when I went. but it's okay because it kept me going#I can go back to school or not go back. do biblical studies or do something else. I don't have big expectations for myself#but as my mental health improves it occurs to me that I COULD do more if only I believed it was worth the effort#I don't need to fear failure when the alternative was not even attempting it#I need to write. I need to write. I need to write.#I'm thinking I might start a newsletter or blog or something. some Bible stuff and some church/social commentary. just kind of open ended.
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recently ive been getting really sick of my neighbors i wish that i had a bunch of money so that i could buy up their houses and only let people i live live near me
#neighbors 1 used to be friends but theyre trumpies and also neglect and borderline abuse their dog#i like river hes not a bad dog but hes not trained well and is a very large and powerful dog and really really wants to kill my cats#and they just let him loose wander in the road wander into other peoples yards and hes trapped me and my mom outside because#he tries to force his way into our house if we try to go back inside of our house and i kinda dont want my cats guts splattered everywhere#neighbors 2 have a fenced in yard with a lab and a husky that they leave outside all of the time in their yard#as far as i know they dont have a dog house or even food and water out there and absolutely no toys and the dogs bark constntly#probably because theyre so bored outside in the hot weather usually without shade and no entertainment they bark at each other#or anyone in the yards of the neighboring houses or they bark at the door begging to be let back inside or bark at the windows#and theyre patriots too they got one of those huge skeletons last halloween and theyve kept it up ever since changing out the spotlight#for holidays which initially i really liked i thought it was funny but then for memorialday/july 4th they dressed in patriotically#and i hate america so . i hate them and how they neglect their dogs#neighbors 3 they are related to the one good neighbor BUT. theyre married (?) and they scream at each other arguing all of the time and#because of the geography of where we live it echos right to our house very loudly and it gives me anxiety and they have a kid or kids#who sometimes cry loudly because they scream yell at each other loudly i kinda hope they (not the kids) go to hell#neighbors 4 i . im not sure if theyre newer here but they also have dogs but so far theyve kept them on leashes i think?#except for that one time where their dog just. walked up to me. idk if they let the dog loose on purpose or if it was accidental#but recently me and my mom were outside messing with the garden and They are also a couple and were screaming at each other#also ! i love straight people 😍 please breakup or get a divorce or move away or go to hell youre fucking crazy people go to therapy#and then theres the people on super loud motorcycles or in super loud cars and then theres the other neighbors with the isra hell flag#and the other neighbors that i SUPER SUPER SUPER HATE and have hated for YEARS ecause i went to school with one and hes#racist as fuck i hope he dies or something. and because of them we dont even go down the road that way#they have free roaming animals that would go into the road and they run some ? atv repair or something out of their house and sometimes#completely occupy the whole road loading shit or something. like if you want stereotypical redneck assholes its them#and i hate all of these people so much. mutuals you should live here instead of them. its the blue ridge mountains its higher altitude#its pretty but sometimes it rains and causes something of a 'creek' to flow but were on a mountain so it flows down and away#and well sometimes the sewer smells really bad for some reason idk but like . its fine dont worry about it#and bears might drag your trashcans up the mountain but just dont leave food outside and they wont do that#we have a . shockingly beautiful ?? dumpster on the road too so its okay 👍#dear lird i just scrolled up and thats a lot of words . o well
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🩷
#don't think that i take for granted the fact that i was born into the happiest marriage/family in our entire extended clan#this family (on both sides) is rife with divorce and rebellious children and couples that have lost their spark and always seem sad#and sure my parents bicker on occasion and have teir frustrations like any couple#but they're in love! still! after 28 years!!! they're each other's best friends#and the three of us get along so wonderfully and we're always laughing together there is LOVE in this household#but that's just so vanishingly rare it feels like#none of my friends are this close to their parents#and idk i feel like most of the couples we know (not all but most) don't have the kind of happiness my parents have#so i'm in between having a huge appreciation for where i am in life#and fear that i'll never find something like that myself#like sometimes i just think too deeply about it and it feels so difficult so impossible#“this happens once every few lifetimes”#but then i think i'm just being paranoid and actually we DO know lots of very happy enduring couples#that CAN be me#but in a way it's just all a game of chance isn't it#no doubt someone out there would be a good fit for me but what if i never meet him#what if we just. miss each other#there's such a fine line between finding true love and eternal solitude#it can be anything a messed up coffee order a dinner you get invited to a job offer you accept#but you never know what it'll be!!!! and that's so scary!!!!!!!!!#okay i think i'm just making myself feel worse so i'll stop here and go to bed#but just. yea. food for thought on this night of my parents' anniversary#elly's posts
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trying to buy some pasteurised honey and everything that comes up when you search that is either "here's the difference between raw and pasteurised honey" or "here's why we never pasteurise our honey. our raw honey is so much better than any of that pasteurised stuff" and like yes I know raw honey is amazing and I would love to eat it but our body flips its shit if I have any kind of encounter with pollen so if I could just find some of the pasteurised stuff that'd be great thanks.
on a slightly funnier note though I now know where I could theoretically buy a 3.5kg bucket of raw wildflower honey if I wanted to
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#food mention#I'm pretty sure most of the stuff at the supermarket is pasteurised but sometimes it's raw and not labelled as raw#there's like one jar of raw honey we've been fine with and it was a single source lavender honey bought at a farmer's market#we still have a little bit left and it's heavenly and I also have no idea where I could get more because it was bought for us as a gift#at this rate I might end up just buying the raw stuff and heating it up to pasteurise it myself when I've got the energy#although if I do that I might just end up making candy with it again#at least I have a confectionary thermometer now for if I do decide to do that
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☆ - happy headcanon
Headcanon asks
When really happy/comfy, Hawu'li might purr a little. It's pretty quiet, but if you are physically really close (say, hugging him) you'll feel the "rumbling" from it.
He's generally very easy to make happy. Spend time doing something with him or offer some tasty food, and he'll be his cheery self for the rest of the day.
He likes to make others happy too, and has surprisingly good memory for what makes them smile. Tell him you like roses? He'll pop up with some if you've been feeling down for a while.
#i've somehow never thought that much about him while he's happy haha#like it's his default state so somehow i always overlooked it#as a fun secret bonus info i'll tell that urianger and y'shtola usually get books and tea as their cheer up gifts#g'raha gets books and lots of kisses all over (cheeks. forehead. ears. hands. shoulders. anything goes)#alisaie gets cool little trinkets + often a sparring session#alphi and tataru get big hugs and homecooked food#estinien is easiest since hawu'li will just hand him some squid haha#oh right and thancred often goes to bar when feeling sad so hawu'li just kinda shows up offers him drink or two#keeps him if he so wishes#and often makes sure thancred gets home safe#(sometimes he just calls urianger to help. thancred is not light enough for a small mage kitty to carry lol)#purple catboy
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Me: hmm I want to try other granolas. Branch out. Get more protein
Me, mid meal: what the fuck this just tastes like fuckin. Oat Puff Cereal. It's squishy. And gross.
Ingredients: whole rolled oats, textured soy prot-
Me, scornfully: what the hell man that's totally what it is. this should feel like eating rocks. In a bad way. This doesn't even hurt my mouth a little bit. smh. And you call yourself a company. So fucking disappointed in you Open Nature™
#personal#the quaker brand is okay but i think love crunch wins out#they sure fuckin do love crunch#consider this a glowing review for people who aren't treating breakfast foods like it should be the emotional equivalent of a#chew toy or perhaps a dog biscuit#my crown is finally in so i can go back to treating my mouth like an enrichment tool like no one intended#food#sometimes i wonder before i publish a personal post if someone is going to read it and be like#'i thought this guy just posted fandom content and animals'#'i thought he liked plushies and hugging trees'#'why am i getting weirdly aggressive food reviews'
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hey uh does anyone remember my theory abt dulcinea and how she was only actually allowed to stay with puss post-show for a short time until she faded away with the rest of the san lorenzo citizens stuck in the broken future, and that her request to sino was NOT to be with puss forever, but WAS to be with him until the absolute last minute?
anyways puss in boots the last wish makes that fit. unfortunately. if you were wondering.
#timeline-wise it seems like the 1st pib movie happens pre-shrek#and tlw happens post-shrek (obviously)#and san lorenzo would be… sometime in between those 2 things (idk when for sure i’m not that smart)#so it stands to reason that the only reason dulcinea wouldn’t be around anymore is bc Something Happened#anyways. food for thought.#puss in boots#pib:tlw#pibtlw#puss in boots the last wish#taopib#the adventures of puss in boots#dulcinea#taopib dulcinea#wade talks#my meta
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