#sometimes i wonder why do i even bother | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

remapped-soul · 2 years ago

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writing has definitely been a bitch today so im going to go hide under a blanket and come out when spring is here

#luna.rants #sometimes i wonder why do i even bother #i know im being dramatic #it will get better

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fiapple · 6 months ago

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i'm getting towards the end of the skypeia arc, & i'd like to say just how much i adore the way the female strawhats have been treated.

just... every aspect of how the way their characters have been previously contextualized influences the story-line is treated with a masterful amount of consideration. we're given so many layers to both of them that enrich not only their characters specifically, but the arc, and the one piece world as a whole. without nami & robin having their specific skills, and their specific values, without those being built upon, the story would have come to a halt.

you could not have skypeia without nami & robin being who they are as individuals. not just because they never would've gotten there without nami, but also because the way these women think is itself foundational to the machinations of the arc as a whole.

to be totally upfront, if you think any other strawhats were more central to the skypeia arc than nami & robin were you are full-on fucking lying to yourself.

#obligatory disclaimer that i’m aware luffy is the protagonist & a lot of interesting stuff is explored w him. this isn’t abt him though.#part of me wonders if this is an aspect of why people will write off this arc sometimes tbh... like that & the political themes.#but yeah anyway i get why people say that for all there are 100% misogynistic tendencies in oda's writing & character design #it is very very hard to say that he as an individual is an ideological misogynist. like the level of care he puts into his female cast mem #-ers generally speaking & how he approaches what existing as a multi-dimensional individual would look like in their specific contexts is #like... in a lot of ways still something that is unprecedented across all forms of media.#but also not the point but anyone who says nami in particular doesnt get real fights/is unskilled um... no you're wrong read her fight in #alabasta & then all of skypeia.#like in alabasta she takes on arguably a stronger opponent than sanji when considering the structuring of BW. not only that but she does s #with a weapon she has never used before while actively reading the instruction manual. and she WINS. she wins based on sheer intellect &#the ability to utilize skills the audience already knows she has. the pre-existing basic fighting skills she's introduced with are elabora #-ed upon by incorporating her skill w navigation. same with the way her cunning is used in skypeia to cover her lack of sheer brute. &#the best part about it is she's fucking tough in a way that makes sense! she isn't strong/weak just for the sake of positioning her as such #it is thoughtful & it strengthens her as a character rather than just like giving the power-scaler types smth to mindlessly chew on.#like do i wish nami got to fight more & take a more active role in that regard even if i don't think she needs to be a fighter in the same #sense as the monster trio? yes absolutely. i'm guessing this is going to be smth that bothers me potentially even more with robin.#but that does not mean her fights are not masterfully written when she gets them or that she isn't tough as a bag of nails.#respect my darling woman or die.#skypeia #nico robin #nami #grey's one piece tag

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gretagator · 8 months ago

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Hmmm redrew that Saul drawing I did back in november....

#fanart #art #better call saul #bcs #breaking bad #brba #saul goodman #jimmy mcgill #not sure if i can say i improved because i was pretty rusty back then (didn't draw for 9 months)#but it does look better #i really want to get better at drawing but i don't have time and when i do i can't draw.#spending most of my time rotting in bed and doing nothing and it's so annoying #explodes all over you #had to repost this twice on instagram because it wouldn't work and it was so embarrassing ♡#and i lost all the reach i had which is close to none to begin with #sometimes i wonder why i even bother posting art

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sprolden · 8 months ago

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every time i get nervous for my exam i remember the girl who has spent every lecture doing the daily crossword, sudoku, and filippine. no notes taking no attention for the lecture just puzzles. she doesn't know it but she's a real calming entity in my life

#i do kind of wonder why she even bothers showing up sometimes but who am i to judge!#personal

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misiahasahardname · 3 days ago

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well that was a fucking lie

#i got excited when i saw this because i thought my week of basically non-stop drawing FINALLY paid off but like #nope #i know you’re not supposed to value your work based off of attention but like…… i sometimes wonder why i even bother anymore #half of my ‚notes’ that show up nowadays are just ‚there’s a new post in communities! you should go check that out… hehe’#and a lot of my other notes are from posts i reblogged #so uh… yeah #do i sound bitchy rn?#idk i just wish my art would get some more attention #misia has a stupid thought

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orcelito · 2 months ago

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Actually is there any cure to feeling like I'm a failure of a person if I don't keep posting fic regularly. Like I know this is not a job or anything. It's just for fun. But with how most people comment only within a day or two of when something is posted, I end up with weeks and weeks of no comments, even when the hits on my works still go up, so it makes me feel rather forgotten.

Like idk. This is probably just feeling worse bc im apparently phenomenally neurotic today. But I wish people commented on older fics more.

#speculation nation #like it's not in my head it's the same thing. everyone experiences it.#theres a spike in new comments for the first day or two. by day 3 id be lucky to get 1 or 2. and beyond that?#well i do get some Sometimes but it's usually the stragglers in reading an update or the rare wonderful person who comments as they read #highlight on the rare. ive only had a handful of these types of people. wonderful when it happens. but it's not the rule.#no after day 4 of posting something new comments drop off into practically nothing. even as hits and kudos still go up.#so it's hard to not feel shitty about it. why do people think it's so bad to interact with older things?#it makes me feel like i Have to keep posting things just to have my writing be recognized.#and logically i know it's not like ppl dont love it anymore. clearly at least a few do.#the people who are supportive on my posts or reach out to me about it. you know.#but overall... idfk. mass majority of readers just dont interact after the first few days. if at all.#and it makes me feel so forgotten. like i have to be a fast fashion poster always and forever to keep ppl's attentions.#i dont want to write under that pressure. im so tired. and im Still grieving.#idk. i just feel so under appreciated. even though i know im one of the lucky ones with how sweet my readers are.#it's just... hard. when the vast majority of my readers dont bother to give back to me. even a little bit.#idk. i should probably stop thinking about it. im just making myself sad.

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starrierknight · 1 year ago

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like/reblog ratio goes crazy. literally what

#hhhhhh okay before i get anyone in my imbox saying im acting entitled and selfish:#i know that I'm not “owed” interaction #i know that!!!! we all know that!!!!#but when you spend hours creating smth and you sit there nervously having just posted it #and the notes slowly trickle in #sometimes you just wonder why you even bother sharing it #now let me just say: i WRITE for MYSELF #i SHARE for OTHERS #i will never stop writing #but jesus fucking christ I'm collecting more reasons to stop sharing #what is it about hitting “reblog” that soany of you are afraid of? that someone will see and give a shit? this is TUMBLR #literally who gives a shit on TUMBLR #are you afraid that someone will (God forbid!) see that you have interests? hobbies? likes?#i don't know #i just can't believe that a large chunk of you really do so very little to support creators you enjoy #it costs zero money to reblog #but not reblogging may cost you that content you so enjoy #im gonna say it: as creators; we are motivated by interaction #that silly little serotonin boost we get from a comment or reblog is what motivates us to share #just wow #[ ❀ ] — reece's rambling #delete later

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freakwiththeknifecollection · 1 year ago

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Yeah, you should only create for yourself, but if I'm putting it out there I would like to know that I'm not just endlessly shouting into the void

#you ever feel like this about your original posts? cause I do #idk like. I would like to DISCUSS my thoughts with someone but it never goes that far #and I realize I don't have the most popular opinions all the time but shit you'd think some people would agree enough to reblog every #once in awhile #idk I'm feeling insecure about myself lately. this is okay to reblog btw I'm just venting my thoughts in the tags #em rambles #idk there was a time I felt like I had a place and served a purpose and provided content for a very small circle of fandom #but now I honestly can't tell who's there anymore #maybe that's why I've been struggling to write. I've always written for myself first but a big motivator for me was getting to share #that with people who would really enjoy it #but now idk #I'll never leave tumblr but sometimes I wonder why I even bother posting original posts anymore lmao

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girlscience · 5 months ago

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Why do I feel so immature compared to literally everyone I interact with. Why does everyone treat me like I am some naive baby that needs to be protected. Why does everyone act like I am incapable of putting myself out there to get things done.

#is it the way I dress? is it because I have different experiences than a lot of other people?#is it my hobbies? is it the way I talk? the way I carry myself?#my mannerisms?#I really hate it whatever it is #sometimes I wonder if it's something I am doing on purpose subconsciously to like protect myself from criticism #but I honestly hate it. I do not enjoy feeling like a baby #I do not enjoy being treated like a baby #this isn't really about anything in particular.. just some things that were said/done tonight and the way I was feeling with some people #and the way I've been feeling in grad school for the past couple weeks and some things that have been said over those weeks #and things people have said and done at my previous job #and things my family has been saying and doing recently but also other things they have done for years before this #and things people at church and camp used to say and do and the way they treated me #and even sometimes the way friends will treat me or talk to me or react to things I say or do #I am just tired of it. why am I infantilized like this. why do I feel it so much in my head too #I am an adult. I want to feel like an adult. I want to be treated as such #I am just frustrated #I am not stupid. I am not incapable. I am not naive. I am working very hard to not be such a pushover and address my anxiety #I am working to be better about self-advocacy and assertiveness and such #but its like all anyone else sees is a quiet helpless stupid child #is this a neurodivergent thing. is this like a 'oh you are so smart but you dont understand anything in the world at all' sort of situation #is it a white christian woman image thing? like a white woman tears thing? do people do this because I am emotionally manipulating them?#do I look like a small wet animal with the saddest eyes imaginable to other people?#I dont know. it bothers me a lot. I think about this so fucking frequently. I wish it would stop

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fionnaskyborn · 11 months ago

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one day when i am not busy dying on the inside and out i will write an honest-to-god essay about how people are, for the lack of a better descriptor but simultaneously for the lack of a more perfect one, too edgy about five.

#like yeah five is an edgy game and the darkest in the series and gloomier than all of its predecessors but. i lack the words for it now but #there are important little moments in five where light shines through the carpet haphazardly thrown over a pile of garbage that oft get #ignored in favor of pushing the agenda that everyone in five is filth down to the core and that's just not true #i just- deeeeeeep sigh. people are so shallow sometimes man #this is how we get those characters that do not resemble the original in the slightest that either take one trait of the given character an #then bloat and exagerrate it until the character is a caricature of themselves OR projections of what the people would like these character #to BE in order to... be able to wrap their heads around them and their motivations more easily‚ i guess??#i don't know it feels to me like people just don't want to bother with the intricacies of complex characters and that's how the wood plank #versions of characters get created and then passed around ad infinitum #sweet grouchy baby boy who never did anything wrong ever. man who is either an innocent little big guy or satan himself. guy who is #objectively one of the most flawed individuals in the series being worshipped as a hero (griffith syndrome). guy who is either depicted as #an obnoxious playboy who only cares about getting laid and having as much skin exposed as possible at all times or the most vile man on #planet earth while being neither. the fucking. masochist cyborg thing. i'm gonna explode #oh and if you point out that there needs to be depth to any analysis of these characters if you are to do them justice you end up with a #gaggle of people saying oh yeah of course everyone in here is awful and they all have pig hearts #and i'm just wondering why this is the default conclusion most come to and not‚ you know‚ the thought that complexity does not inherently #imply rottenness but rather that even in the most horrible of situations you can find something good #i'm not the happiest or the most fortunate of individuals but i still refuse to believe in the idea of inherent evil that's being sold for #cheaper than a copy paper pack these days #but that has nothing to do with this my point is if you're trying to do media analysis you've got to look beyond... i don't have a word for #this... i guess you could call them fanmade stereotypes? no that's not it‚ my point is that people need to open their eyes to how complex #motivations and circumstances and human connection are and face that complexity head on instead of rubbing the story with sandpaper until #it's satisfiable to them #logs

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noirapocalypto · 2 years ago

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We're really in it now, boyos, but we stay silly :3

#existential crisis night i guess #been feeling like this for a while but tonight feels weird #and its not even sadness at this point #i just don't know why im here #what is the point of all this--for me--as a person #why do i wake up every morning #why do i keep doing it #like i said its not really a sadness #just thinking and reflecting #such a fucking sadsack lmfao sometimes i wonder why people even bother to stick around with my negative ass #sorry guys i really am sorry #i wish i wasn't like this either

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abyssalpriest · 1 year ago

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if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up

#ive already. dealt. with enough fucking propagandising royal family members on my fucking ASS this lifetime to last. the rest of #this universe's incarnation. sometimes its better to not get involved which i KNOW is a big part of why the propaganda is rampant #among people who work with ''demons'' but like. no. no race is more superior than other races. hot take i know sorry #ramblings //#honestly tho. im so sick of dealing with the topics of ascending and (''demon'') racial supremacy and fighting jxdaism under the guise #of ''we hate chrxstians tho and thats good!'' bc ''(JEWISH NAME FOR GOD????) is a horrible person he wiped out half his angels!!!!''#listen i do not care how uncomfortable you are w your species' and peoples' histories you are. leave innocent fucking people and their #concept of the Creator that you dont even understand alone. whats the point in pride in your people if youre only proud of how #your people are Better than another set of people. like. bruh. are you proud of being a (demon) or are you so insecure your only source of #literally describing said propagandising family members lord almighty im gonna stop myself there.#WOW. I DSFJKHDFH. IVE NEVERRRRR SUDDENLY GOTTEN THE URGE TO TALK SHIT ABOUT WAR /AND/ SPILL THINGS PEOPLE #WANT SECRET /AND/ TALK SHIT ABOUT TWISTING KNOWLEDGE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD /AND/ HAD IT DEVOLVE INTO #''even tho im (practically) hindu jxdaism is too fucking important to my family for me to not have OPINIONS about shit'' BEFORE HMM #WEIRD WEIRD unincarnated selves just fucking going AT it. i mean. spilling opinions. cant say they havent gone at it in other #ways too wow no wonder Ardhanarishvara (God as half man half woman) and Shiva and Shakti are super important to me -#NO WONDER THIS CAME AFTER TALKING ABOUT CONSCIOUSNESS AND MIND WHO I SEE AS SHIVA AND SHAKTI #anyway the first post had nothing to do w jxdaism and this topic itself has nothing to do w it i just finally had it click why Certain Peop #calling the things the kings they worship did atrocities of (name) was bothering me SO much. i mean i knew why the rest of it was bothering #me - i mean the NAME bit clicked

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thesmokinpossum · 2 years ago

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while i'm complaining about men, I just got told in a slightly passive-aggressive tone by a man i've known for less than 5 months that "clearly, validating people's feelings is not my strongest suit" because I told him as kindly as I could that while he can call me when he's having panic attack, there's no real guarantee that i'm gonna be available and even less guarantee that i'm gonna be able to comfort him in whatever way in need, especially if he need any type of physical comfort and I'm just sitting there like...You know what my dude, if that's gonna make you get over your annoying ass desire to hug me then feel free to assume that i'm actually even meaner than that, imagine me as the world biggest bitch all you want, i'm fine with it

#dude was clearly already annoyed with me because i didn't agree with whom on two things he was complaining about #not gonna go in details because he deserves some privacy tbh #but i will say that no i'm not gonna pretend to believe that someone is always right just because they have mental health issues #i always try to see someone's point of view in a situation but i'm also very much the friend who will tell you if i think you're wrong #a lot of people claim to want that kind of honesty in their life but when it means being told that they were wrong it's suddently bad #anyway ok bro i have no emotional intelligence i'm cold and distant and i can't be your primary support now can you chill?#that's gonna sound so fucking mean but sometimes i wonder why he even bother with therapy #like if you need that much validation from a random girl you barely know what do you pay this fucker for???#anyway let's hope he got the hint that no i'm not gonna pretend to be his best friend when i barely know him nor his mom nor his gf

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diari0deglierrori · 2 years ago

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Seriously…. And then they ask why I’m mad so often