#sometimes i think maybe if it only happened once i'd be okay
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inniave · 7 months ago
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every once in awhile i have a flashback so bad it triggers a seizure & nobody really knows why
#i am so fucking tired#and so fucking done#i would rather die than go in tomorrow but that's not an option anymore so fuck#the flashbacks have been constant for as long as i can remember but it's been awhile since they've been at this intensity for this long#i used to think i didn't have ptsd because i didn't have flashbacks until i learned that always feeling like it's happening again is indeed#a flashback#it's just not so isolated for me#so i'm like??? i should be able to deal with this. i'm used to it. pretty much every second of every day my body feels like i'm being#raped and tortured and beat and literally getting drilled in the bone i should be used to this#but it's so much it's so heavy there's no way out i cant do it#but i have to there's no other option except not get surgery which is not really an option :/#cause the pain from the bone is right where their cocks were 🙃 so that's been it's own special form of hell#and now i have to let someone cut me open there 🙃 and i cant be under general anesthesia 🙃#oh yeah and ITS EXAFTLY FUCKING LIKE THAT DOCTOR THAT ASSAULTED ME WHEN I WAS A FUCKING TODDLER COMING OUT OF SURGERY#fuck dude#sometimes i think maybe if it only happened once i'd be okay#ive lost track but i think we're up in triple digits at this point :/#not including the constant stuff in childhood#fuck no wonder i kept trying to kill myself jesus fucking christ#i'm so fucking scared#i'm so ready for all this to be over#it's been years of pain and this whole last month where it's become much more acute and all this visits and i cant take any more#we are at Capacity#we're splitting like hell already#fucking entire new subsystems fuck#fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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kurokawaia · 4 months ago
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❛ UM, WHAT? ❜
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Yandere! Illumi Zoldyck X Fem!Reader
| YANDERE CONTENT |
WC; 1.5k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW :: in the pre timeskip, i imagine it to be younger illumi there (so when he's around 18-19 and has the short hair), reader is aslo 17-18 before the timeskip. after the timeskip illumi is 26 and you are 25, stalking!!! death
⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) Could you pls write yandere illumi who has been stalking reader for years now, he finally decides to make his move, bumps into you, casually invites you for a date. But as you start talking to him, he's so in love and obsessed he lets creepy things slip during casual conversation eg. Reader: yeah I go to dance classes, though recently I haven't been enjoying them as much because our teacher keeps complaing about his life problems! Can you believe it! And Illumi replies "Yes, that idiot should've left his cheating wife months ago haha" and Reader's like, how did you know that *sweats* Anyway just creepy illumi pls:3 - ANON
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You were just a high school student when you first noticed him, but only just briefly.
It was one of those ordinary days, but if only you had paid more attention to how this man looked, maybe your life would have turned out different. The man you noticed had quite noticeable features: tall, solemn, a young man who watched you across the street with a curious expression you quickly ignored.
He was dressed in a simple jacket and slack pants, though, his eyes were pericing into your back. You were scared, more or less, the way he was observing you.
With just a headshake, you pretty much forgot the man in your mind, manipulating yourself that he isn't looking at me.
Illumi took an interest in you, for what reason, he did not know. You were just some average girl, not an assassin, and more than likely didn't even know how to use Nen. But you caught his eye.
Your simple life and usual happenings were so different to his own so much that his curiosity was piqued. You looked so innocent that he wanted to taint you to something darker. 
It wasn't very long before curiosity did turn darker and into something more obsessive. 
He started following you more often, always remaining out of your field of sight, and never once approaching you directly. He learned your schedule, your favorite spots, and your friends. He watched over one like a ghost through every mundane task, every joyful moment, and every sorrowful sigh.
Years passed, and that addiction only grew bigger and bigger. The feel of watching you, the satisfaction of knowing everything that happened in your life, made him feel good.
You were his secret obsession, his hidden treasure that no one else could touch.
Then, it happened. You walked down that street, busy with your thoughts, when he decided the time was right. Casually, as if he had suddenly bumped into you, he came towards you. His heart racing from the thrill not of the encounter but of just revealing himself a little.
"Pardon me," he said, his tone silky. You looked up with a jerk since his sudden appearance had startled you. There was something unsettling in the way that he stared at you, yet it was cloaked by a polite smile. "I couldn't help but notice you. We've crossed paths before, haven't we?"
You felt a shiver run down your spine, but you made yourself smile. "I don't think so," you said, trying to keep the subject light.
You had this feeling that you had met this man before but couldn't place with who he was and where you had seen him.
"Perhaps not," he replied lightly, shrugging. "I guess I was mistaken. My name is Illumi. I'd like to get to know you better. Would you be interested in going out sometime?"
"Um, sure," you said hesitantly, unable to shake off the feeling that something was deeply wrong but unable to refuse the polite request. "When would you like to. go out?"
"Would now be okay?" he asks with a tilt of his head, his height was towering over you, you noticed.
"Um, sure," you replied, unable to say no.
You both set off toward a small café in town. You arrived a few minutes early, trying to rid yourself of that strange feeling from earlier. Illumi showed up a little afterwards, his presence still had that air of dread hanging about him which made you uncomfortable, but his smile was warm and inviting.
As you guys settled into your corner booth, you tried to focus on the pleasant atmosphere. Illumi made small talk, his voice smooth and nice. You found yourself slowly opening up, talking about your daily life.
"So, what have you been up to lately?" Illumi asked, never his eyes leaving your face.
Not that he knew of, anyway.
"Well, I've been going to dance classes," you said.
He already knew that.
"Though lately, I haven't really been enjoying them as much. Our teacher just keeps bitching about all his life problems. Can you believe it?"
Illumi's eyes gleamed, "Yes, that idiot really ought to have left his cheating wife months ago. It's pathetic how he drags his personal drama into his classes. Haha."
You felt your heart skip a beat and you froze in shock from his response. "How-how did you know about that?" you stuttered. "I've never told anyone."
Illumi's smile picked up. "Oh, I have my ways," he said smoothly. "I pay attention to the details, you know. It's just a shame he's so miserable. I suppose that's why he hasn't been able to focus on teaching properly."
You tried to compose yourself, forcing a nervous laugh. "Well, I guess you're right. It's just frustrating sometimes."
Illumi nodded, still with that unnerving stare. "I understand. Must be hard on you, dealing with his problems besides your own. I'm sure you are doing your best."
You tried to smile, though the unease in your chest was growing. "Thanks. I guess it just feels like everything's piling up lately."
Illumi's eyes flashed, nay flared, with an eerie serious intent. "Is there anything else bothering you? Perhaps something outside of dance class?"
You felt a little cornered by the intensity of his gaze and hesitated before continuing, "Well, there's this guy at work who's been bothering me. He keeps making these inappropriate comments, trying to corner me whenever I'm alone. It's really unsettling."
Illumi's face clouded for a moment, his frown deepening as he registered your words. "I see," he said slowly. "I didn't realize this. nuisance," he grumbled to himself, cursing himself on how he could have missed something like that in your daily life.
He thought you didn't hear what he said, but you did. A chill ran down your spine at the way he said it.
You hastily tried to change the subject with the urge to get away from the intensity in his gaze. "But enough about that. I'm glad we could meet today. It has been nice talking to you."
Illumi's smile picked up once more, but didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yes, it has been. I enjoyed our time together."
You got to your feet, collecting your things and moving to leave. Illumi followed suit, escorting you to the door of the café. Outside, both of you stepped into the cool evening air, you noticed him freeze for a moment, his eyes set on something far off.
Almost as if he was gauging what move to take next.
"Well, it's time to say goodbye for now, I suppose," you said, forcing cheerfulness into your voice.
Illumi smiled reassuringly but there was something beneath that made you scared. "Indeed. I look forward to the next time we meet."
And so you went off in opposite directions, you homeward. You had walked a way when you couldn't rid the feeling that Illumi had looked at you just one beat longer than he needed to.
Later that night, Illumi sat with reflections upon his mind, bothered by the new information about the man that's been bothering you. How could he have missed this-one nuisance? 
He prides himself on how well he watches over you and has always been fully aware of your every move.
This guy slipped under his watchful eye, and that irked him.
Illumi's face darkened as he made his way to the place where you worked. He found the man who had been harassing you. Getting ready to leave for the night, the man didn't notice Illumi approach him.
The man was turning around, startled by the sudden appearance of the tall stranger. Before he could even utter another word, Illumi's hand had closed tightly around his throat. His eyes widened into a fearful expression as Illumi's voice, in low tone.
"You have caused my precious one unnecessary distress," Illumi said softly, his tone chilling. "For which you shall pay the price."
Illumi made sure the man would never utter another word ever again, his movements calculated and cold. 
The threat to you was gone, and your world would never be disrupted by anyone else other than him. 
No one was ever to come between him and the object of his obsession.
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Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.
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laroserie · 5 months ago
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— Various x-men characters, with a queer ! reader
— characters ; Scott Summers. Jean Grey. Logan Howlett. Rogue.
— warning ; Reader is implied to be at the very least multisexual in general BUT it's very vague - reader is just not straight. Can be platonic or romantic depend. Include a 'when you come out to them section' but it's also just general headcanons. I included my personal hc about their sexuality. No one is homophobic or anything !
— note ; i said i'd something for pride and poof, there ( yes ... it's the 29th but better late than never! ), yes i do headcanons most xmen characters as multisexual, i wrote this at 3am so if some part doesn't make sense and all sorry
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– Scott Summers.
Now, Scott is bisexual himself (with a little bit of self internalised homophobia) so he'd be very, chill, of course with you being queer. But he sometimes do say stuff that make your eyebrow raise, he isn't exactly the most informed, but he is still very respectful, just a bit clumsy. If you try to correct him on something he said and - or - 'correct' him, he will listen and keep that in mind.
Scott could be the type to start being more inclusive in his language once he knows, like he will say 'partner' or 'spouse' when asking you about your relationship. Or not ask about them at all ( if you aromantic for example ).
He probably accidentally out-ed you at some point, he doesn't think twice and just say what's he thought. He will very much apologize for that, and after the first time it never happens again.
When you come out to him, he gives you a simple 'okay, that neat' and a thumb-up. If you use a label/term he doesn't know, he may ask you about it but probably later, like a day or two, he'll come up to you and ask you 'hey, by the way, what does [label] means ?'.
– Jean Grey
Jean Grey, like Scott, is very chill about it. Sure, she doesn't know much about the community and she only knows the 'basic' terminology, but she still very much support you.
If you need to vent about issues related to your sexuality, she will be there, her arms are wild open for you and she has always a box of tissues on hand. She may not get everything, but she'll try to help you as much as she can, by simply comforting you or by trying to give you advice ( not necessary about the problem in itself, but about how to cope around it ).
Jean is absolutely the type to accompany you to pride, if you want her to of course, she is kinda like those straight mothers that accompany their kid to pride !
When you come out to her, she is the sweetest, she'll listen to you and assure you that it change's nothing to her.
– Logan Howlett
He doesn't gives a fuck, the man has seen all type of people thru the years, it's normal and he obviously accept anyone no matter their sexuality or genders but he just doesn't care that much ( my personal headcanon is that Logan is pan but let's be honest, he himself doesn't give a fuck about his sexuality ).
Logan probably goes to the pride parade once in while, depending on the city he in currently, and he'll probably accept to go with you to them - if it's your first, he'll try to keep you in sigh but if not and that you can be left alone and be okay, he will 'abandon' you and you'll only see him when it's time to leave.
When you come out to him, he looks at you and just drop a 'ok', he may add a 'thanks for telling me ?' if you are visibly confused by his answer.
– Rogue
She'd be very happy knowing you are queer too ! ( again personal headcanon that she is bisexual ) She thinks it's nice to have a friend whose also part of the community and if you are newer to it and the terminology, she'll try to teach you about them as best as she can.
If anyone is a bigot to you about your sexuality, Rogue will be there to comfort you about it and, maybe, perhaps, try to fight the person.
When you come out to you, she will be very happy that you have enough trust in her to tell her, she'll probably give you a big hug before asking you question about it ( like 'when did you know ??' but not in the intrusive weird way )
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cupidddd-d · 1 year ago
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you waste your time on daft pretty boys
in which spencer reid is so smart, but he's so dumb!
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if you had a quarter for every time you tried flirting with spencer reid and he obliviously rebuffed your attempts, you'd have enough money to buy a yacht.
at first, it started with you innocently brushing his arm when you had to walk past him. you'd make eye contact with him across the room. he thought nothing of it.
and then you purposely wore a pair of shoes that were practically falling apart, all so you could fall into his arms and bat your eyelashes at him as he caught you. he caught you, but he immediately set you back on your feet, almost as if he was afraid to touch you for more than a second.
"you should be more careful," he laughed, somehow still completely clueless to the fact that you were putting the moves on him.
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"i mean, i don't get it! i've been flirting with him all week, and nothing! why isn't he just taking the hint?" you complained to morgan as you slumped down in your cubicle.
spencer being late only ever happened once in a blue moon, but he was late today. and you needed to take full advantage of his absence to pester morgan for advice.
"honestly, you're wasting your time here. if you're not going to be direct with him, he'll never get the hint. the kid's like a robot," morgan shrugged, twirling his pen in the air.
"it's true," prentiss agreed as she walked by, overhearing your conversation. "his iq gets slashed to nothing when it comes to romance. you need to be upfront with him."
"but it's so embarrassing!" you whined, dropping your head on your desk with defeat. "what if he rejects me?"
"the answer's always gonna be no if you never ask," prentiss raised her eyebrows at you knowingly.
you groaned dramatically at her words, weakly slapping your desk a few times to further express your point. "fine, but if he rejects me, i'm changing my name and moving to costa rica. i'll start a new life, and you'll never see me again!" you threaten them both, pointing your index finger at them.
"yeah, yeah," morgan smirked smugly, interlacing his hands behind his head as he leaned back.
"shut up, baldie!" you retorted, just because you had to get the last word in.
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"so...spencer," you say awkwardly, standing over his cubicle. everyone except hotch had gone home, and you two were the only ones still working in the bullpen.
"yeah?" his smile was so sweet and so welcoming, but it had never intimidated you before the way it does now.
"um, okay. so basically morgan and prentiss were telling me to be upfront with you because i've been flirting with you like, this whole week, and you haven't gotten the hint yet. spencer, i think you're a great guy, and i really like being around you. do you maybe...want to go out sometime? as a date?" you rambled nervously, feeling a hot blush creep up your cheeks.
you watched spencer fumble for words for what seemed like hours. his mouth parted, then it closed again. he just blinked at you, a little squeaking noise coming out of his mouth as he blushed red, from his neck to the tips of his ears.
"y-yeah, i'd like that! l-like, a lot!" he squeaked, turning a lovely shade of fire engine red. "w-we could w-watch um, a movie! does f-friday work? c-cool, okay!"
he dashed off before you could say anything, but friday did work for you, so you just stood there in disbelief.
"yeah, cool, okay..." you echoed, a giddy smile on your face.
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colorquest · 7 days ago
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~☆~
D: Okay so D: Michael. D: What's up with that hat?🔆
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M: My hat...? D: Ah, the act of innocence, the act of ignorance... D: I. Have. Neeeeeeever seen you wear a hat before. D: It's so not your M.O. V: He's wearing a hat? D: Like, seriously. D: A backwards baseball cap? D: Did your mommy tell you it was cute like that or something? V: LOL S: Debbie!
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M: *snort* M: You're too funny sometimes, D... M: But you're right, I almost never wear hats. M: This one just worked for me, you know? M: With the opening in the back and all. D: Can't even wear it properly.......... M: I know u_u. M: But yeah, I got this a couple days back when I went to that concert with my mama. V: So she did tell you it was cute, then? M: Ahhh... yeah, she did. V: hehehhueueh S: I think it looks very nice on you, Michael. M: Haha, you don't gotta tell me again. M: But thank you. D: WAIT. D: ..........That shade of purple............................... D: WAS IT THE DAGGERBREATH CONCERT?????????? M: Yeah it was! D: I thought I saw you putting up a poster earlier too, was that--🔆 M: I got that at the concert too, yeah! D: May I... see it... M: Sure, hold on, I think you'll really like this one actually.
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M: See, they were premiering their new album, with the dragony album art and theme and all. D: WHAT THE HECK! D: LUCKY?! D: THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME. D: THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MEEEEEEEEEEE WHO WENT! M: Remember I did invite you to come with, D. D: YEAH but nobody else wanted to come. D: And as IF I'd be caught hanging out with just you and your mom. D: Like, come on. M: Well uh, you know if you want... M: While I'm a little too attached to the poster to give it up, you could take this hat from me next time we meet up? M: I'm not feeling it too much anyways. S: What? S: Noooo! S: It works so well on you though-- D: "It's a DEAL my liege, I'll TAKE it!" D: That is to say, D: Uh, YEAH? GIMMIE??? M: Ahaha, oh, so you've listened to their new album already then? D: Of course, who do you think I am? D: Some kind of POSER? M: Well, maybe a... "poser with all heart, no soul~" D: "TAKE A SMOKE OR MAYBE TWO AND FEEL THE ASHES TAKE CONTROL!!!!!!!" V: BUH V: You guys and your punk metal. V: Can't you listen to something a little more upbeat, maybe? S: (I don't understand it either Vilmr, but let them have their fun!)
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D: Vilmr, comments like that are exactly why you gotta start breaking away from Maja a little more. D: You're gonna end up sounding just like her if you're not careful. V: Lättare sagt än gjort! V: You try being yourself when you have to listen to THIS nonstop! V: Listen!
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V: Nag nag nag, right?! D: Yeah okay but that doesn't mean you gotta start nagging too -_-. S: Yeesh Vilmr, it's no wonder you get so anxious, I'd die if my parents kept calling me like that all day. V: The caring guardian... V: She eats away at your psyche like no other. D: Okay well stop listening to your cell then. D: Like, put it away for a while, that's what I do. V: I can't just not have it on me Debbie. D: Sure you can! D: Give it to me, get some freaking peace of mind for once. V: Agh! V: ...Only if you promise to give it back when I ask this time. D: Psssh, totally. D: After the eclipse, of course.
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D: Hey what the heck are those lights outside your window? S: Oh wow, look! S: Sky lanterns, how pretty! M: Oh! M: I guess we're not the only ones celebrating the eclipse around here then, huh? M: Haha... D: We're not celebrating the eclipse okay, we're not cultists. D: I mean I'm not at least. D: Michael. M: Wh! D: I just wanna see it happen, it's on my bucket list you know. S: I wonder what the lanterns are really for...? M: Well, I do have a neighbor or two who are a little more on the moony side... M: Maybe that's them? M: What is it about an eclipse that's so special for some people, I wonder? S: It's like, symbolic, right? S: Like the moon represents a god, or... V: Ah, I know this! V: It is not the moon that represents a god, it is the essence they bring. M: Oh? V: Yeah. D: Oh boy, here we go... V: So basically, the reapers of the moon, the "cultists," they believe that this eclipse will um, awaken their god. V: And that god is just like, just a person right now, and nobody knows who it is, but it's someone out there. V: When this eclipse happens, it is supposed to awaken them. V: That person will be ascended to godhood, or so they believe. V: And then that god will release an uncontrollable wave of darkness across Theia.
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D: Yeah so, evil cult shit. V: No, not evil. D: DARKNESS Vilmr. D: Darkness is always the bad side. V: Debbie, maybe it is you who needs to open your mind. D: Oh, what next, are you gonna tell me Varth Dader was a good guy? M: Is it like, the darkness would make us appreciate the light better, or something? M: I'm struggling to understand how that'd be a thing to... celebrate. V: Well according to the reapers, once the darkness sets in, their counter-god of light will also awaken. V: Then that god will release a wave of light around the world. V: And then the world will be in perfect harmony. V: So I think the eclipse is supposed to represent like, the wave of darkness. V: And then after it's done, it gets light again, and that represents the balancing out? V: Maja could probably explain this better than me. S: Wow, that's actually pretty beautiful to think about :o V: Ja, sure. V: But most believers end up drugging themselves to death somewhere down the line. V: Something about their souls becoming part of their god's essence. S: oh M: Jeez, that's intense. V: Yeah, there's a lot more nuance to it but I don't know all the details. M: Wow. M: Uh. M: ...Maja isn't thinking of-- V: Nej nej nej, she's different. V: She sees this all in a different way. V: Though it is hard to not worry about what might happen around the world, as a result of their beliefs...🔆 D: Hey uh sorry not sorry to interrupt this super duper interesting talk but, D: Are you guys seeing the stream?
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D: It's getting so freaking close. S: OvO M: Fifteen more minutes until it starts! S: I'd love to be there in person, that looks so pretty. M: Well we should mark down the date five years from now to see the next one then. V: And hope that it is not happening above forbidden land. M: Oh yeah, that too, haha.
🔆
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somelegobird · 1 month ago
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EVIL ARC
What every Ninjago Character has said they love(d) HATED
Exactly the same as my love list, same rules, same premise (except that it's about hating now). However it has its own doc so as to not clog the other doc. It's only checked up to the same point as the last doc, but it seems like the transcripts are slowly getting updated PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL
Anywa
Arin
Rapton
Cole
Dragons (used to)
Snakes (three times | | | )
To hurt Rocky’s feelings
Telling Master Wu that if they don't get out before Pythor unleashes the Great Devourer, he thinks this will be the end of all their destinies.
Working as a bank security guard
Being a kid
To leave a mark on their past selves
Admitting Kai is onto something
Bringing up the fact that parachutes would’ve come in handy
Heights
Dareth
Admitting that Harumi was right
Garmadon
The First Spinjitzu Master
The ninja
Magic
Iron Baron
Manure
Jay
Samurai (four times | | | | )
Telling Nya that objects in the mirror are closer than they appear
Sunrise exercise
Saying that Cole deserved a little to get hit by Garmadon
Being leader
Losing
Unbeatable creatures
Breaking up the reunion between the replacement ninja
Doing laundry
Rates
Kai
Feeling helpless
Technology
Having to check Skylor’s back for a tattoo
To let anyone down (literally (this was part of a witty quip))
Water
The Sword of Sanctuary
Telling Morro in Lloyd’s body to watch out for the cliff edge
Ninja
Iron Baron
The new Ninja
Saying that he doesn’t feel anything after attempting dragon form
Fireproof monsters
Kapau
Admitting that maybe Chen losing his army wasn’t a bad thing
Krux
Electronic devices
When Acronix makes up sayings
Lloyd
Vegetables
Not having a full team
To sleep
Lou
Kai’s hair
Miss Demeanor
The country(side)
Morro
Waiting
Nya
Getting called “cute”
Feeling left out
Breaking it to Wu that sometimes elemental powers can skip a generation
Dresses 
Not having tunes on the ride
Harumi
Ice
The Never-Realm
Pythor
Being small
Rapton
All of the Ninja
Vania
Spiders, especially huge slobbering ones with fangs
Wu
Thinking about what would happen if Morro got the Realm Crystal
Wyldfyre
Missing jokes
And same as last time, the things ordered by season and copied directly are below
Rise of the Serpentine
(Rise of the Snakes) Lloyd: I hate vegetables! (Starts grunting and falls down.)
(Rise of the Snakes) Cole: If there was anything I hated more than dragons, it was snakes.
(Snakebit) Cole: I hate to hurt Rocky's feelings, but I think he's just been replaced.
(Can of Worms) Cole: That's it. I used to hate Dragons, but now I officially hate snakes.
(Can of Worms) Cole: Ugh, I hate snakes.
(The Snake King) Jay: I'm gonna say it: I hate Samurai.
(The Snake King) Jay: ARGH!! I HATE THAT SAMURAI!!!!
(Tick Tock) Young Garmadon: I hate you.
(Once Bitten, Twice Shy) Jay: Heh. So that Samurai. Oh, man. I hate him, don't you?
(Once Bitten, Twice Shy) Jay: Though I hate the Samurai, where is he when you actually need him?
(The Royal Blacksmiths) Lou: Kai, love the energy, hate the hair.
(All of Nothing) Cole: I hate to break it to you, Sensei, but if we don't get out of here before Pythor unleashes the Great Devourer, I think this will be the end of all our destinies.
(Day of the Great Devourer) Jay: Uh, hate to tell you this, but objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.
Legacy of the Green Ninja
(Darkness Shall Rise) Cole: Eh, that's okay. I hated that job anyway.
(Ninjaball Run) Garmadon: No! I hate those ninja!
(Child’s Play) Cole: I hated being a kid!
(Wrong Place, Wrong Time) Cole: I'd hate to leave a mark.
(The Stone Army) Jay: I hate sunrise exercise.
(The Last Voyage) Kai: Ugh, I hate feeling helpless.
Rebooted
(The Surge) Cole: Guys, hate to admit it, but maybe Kai is onto something.
(Blackout) Jay: I hate to say it, but you deserved that a little.
(Enter the Digiverse) Kai: Aah! I HATE TECHNOLOGY!
(The Titanium Ninja) Cole: I hate to bring this up now, but parachutes would've come in handy.
Tournament of Elements
(Spy for a Spy) Kai: Uh, I hate to do this, but it's your turn. Can I see your back, please?
(The Day of the Dragon) Kapau: I hate to admit it, but maybe Chen losing his army wasn't such a bad thing.
(The Day of the Dragon) Garmadon: I always hated Magic.
(The Greatest Fear of All) Pythor: I really hate being small! 
(The Greatest Fear of All) Kai: I'd hate to let anyone down, but...Fire!
(The Corridor of Elders) Nya: The new girl hates feeling left out.
Possession
(Stiix & Stones) Kai: I'm fine with heights. It's water I hate.
(Stiix & Stones) Nya: I hate to break it to you, but sometimes Elemental Powers can skip a generation.
(Stiix & Stones) Jay: I hate being leader, but I hate losing even more.
(Peak-a-Boo) Cole: I hate heights.
(Kingdom Come) Morro: But I hate waiting!
(Kingdom Come) Kai: I hate that sword.
(Kingdom Come) Kai: Hate to spoil this next, but just 'cause you're in my friend's body, watch out!
(The Crooked Path) Wu: If Morro finds it first and takes the Realm Crystal, I'd hate to think what would happen next.
(Curseworld, Part II) Jay: Oh, I hate unbeatable creatures.
Skybound
(Infamous) Kai: Yeah. You're right. Ninja, ugh, hate 'em.
(Operation Land Ho!) Nya: Ugh! I hate dresses.
(The Way Back) Jay: Ugh, I hate to break up the reunion, but may I remind you we have a wedding to stop?
Hands of Time
(The Hatching) Krux: I hate those infernal devices most of all!
(Scavengers) Nya: I hate not having tunes on the ride, but the USB port is the only way to power you back up.
(Scavengers) Lloyd: I hate not having a full team.
(Lost in Time) Krux: I hate when you make up sayings!
Sons of Garmadon
(The Oni and the Dragon) Jay: Aw, I always hated doing laundry.
(Game of Masks) Nya:Well now I hate her!
Hunted
(Iron & Stone) Kai: His throne. I already hate him.
(How to Build a Dragon) Iron Baron: Manure! I hate manure!
(The Weakest Link) Dareth: I hate to admit it, but she's right.
Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitzu
(And Unlikely Ally) Nya: That's it! I hate ice! And I hate this... this place! And I hate...!
Master of the Mountain
(The Skull Sorcerer) Vania: I hate spiders, especially huge slobbering ones with fangs!
Seabound
(A Big Splash) Miss Demeanor: Ah, I hate the country.
Crystalized
(The Shape of Nya) Kai: I'm starting to hate them.
(Darkness Within) Jay: I hate rats!
(An Issue of Trust) Kai: I hate to say it, but ... I don't feel anything.
Dragons Rising s1
(Writers of Destiny) Kai: I hate fireproof monsters!
(We Are All Dragons) Arin: I hate Rapton too, but let's at least hear him out.
(We Are All Dragons) Rapton: I hate you all too, like, so much. 
Dragons Rising s2
(The Blood Moon) Lloyd: Okay, look... I've been having dreams that are so vivid, so frightening, I hate to sleep.
(Force from the East) Wyldfyre: What's so funny? Was there a joke? Oh, I hate missing jokes!
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tiredandoptimistic · 2 months ago
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As someone who likes a lot of "bad" media, or media that starts out kinda slow but builds into a bigger plot over time, I see so many different opinions on what bits are "okay" to skip in order to get to the good part, and it's just wild to me. Bouncing around between the highlights doesn't actually give you the experience, and filler is so important when it comes to just...creating a vibe and building up the relationships between characters and with the audience.
For instance, Red vs Blue is probably my favorite show (ever, of all time), and while I will admit that the first five seasons are not my favorite, I still think they're essential to the show, because those five years of relatively low stakes adventures set the tone so that it can be upset by the bigger plot points. The impact of a big twist is reduced if you haven't spent the time to get invested in these characters when they're just hanging out and being silly. Most importantly though, even once the plot really gets going in season six and we get into the more serious Freelancer and Chorus arcs, Red vs Blue is still fundamentally about a bunch of idiots standing around and talking. If you have to force yourself to put up with the majority of the show, then you might just not like this show.
I was talking about this with my friend, and they said it's kinda the same thing with Homestuck. Yes, it does get "better" as time goes on, but it's still the same thing it's always been, and if that's not something you enjoy then skipping to the bits you do like won't change what it is.
Or like, I freaking love The Order of the Stick, and last year I reread it from the beginning for the first time in a while, and I half convinced myself that I'd just made up how good it is (because volume one is funny enough but nothing to write home about). However, I hit a certain point where I realized that I wasn't just reading out of a sense of obligation but because I adore these characters and am unspeakably invested in this plot. You can really tell that it's been a story happening over the course of 20+ years, you can see the writing and art improve dramatically as time goes on. I could just recommend that someone start with volume two or three, and summarize the plot up till then so they don't feel lost. However! That would rob them of the experience you get from watching these characters grow. You can't fully appreciate Belkar's arc in volume six if you didn't see what he was like on day one, y'know?
On another note, I love the Shadowhunters Chronicles, and I know that a lot of people will give The Mortal Instruments shit and call it the worst series or whatever, but those people just hate fun. Yeah, there are other series that might have stronger plots and better writing, but there's a reason that TMI's main characters have been iconic for years. Sometimes, things are just silly, and if you don't like that then you're not gonna have a good time here.
I could go on! I also like a lot of episodic shows like MASH, Community, Tangled: the Series, the whole DC animated universe, Supernatural, etc. I could come up with lists of my favorite episodes to try to hook somebody, but all of those episodes lose a lot of their impact when taken out of context. Skipping the filler doesn't give you the ultimate experience of Only The Best, it takes away your chance to fully spend time with these characters in a variety of settings. And sure, lots of shows with multiple writers do have some episodes that are just bad, but that's not what I'm talking about. There's a difference between something being bad and something being low-stakes. Maybe you personally don't enjoy things that are low-stakes, but that might just mean you shouldn't be watching a sitcom.
So yeah, this has been an excuse for me to rant about things I enjoy for a while but I'm sorta out of time and need to eat lunch, so I suppose this post has reached its conclusion. All my favorite media are my favorite for reasons I couldn't articulate in an elevator pitch, and putting together a highlight reel will never substitute for truly being in the trenches. If you're truly having a good time with something then you won't need to skip to the good part, because the whole thing is enjoyable.
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zorrasucia · 1 year ago
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Tumblr media
Teach Me Tonight - Part 2
[Part 1] Part 2: [Part 3] [Deleted Scene] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Deleted Scene] [Part 8]
Reader x Carmy Berzatto (The Bear FX)
Rating: Explicit
Tags: Smut, Set sometime after the opening of The Bear, Porn with a little plot, Virgin!Carmy, Mutual masturbation, P in V sex, Quickie, Oral (F receiving), Both Carmy and Reader have a bit of a praise kink
Summary: Either Carmy was a very good student or you were absolutely crazy about him. Maybe both. 
After that night, something changed in Carmy. He seemed a lot more comfortable touching you - actually, he seemed to crave it. He didn't mind if Sydney or Tina saw him kissing you good night, usually a quick peck at the back door of the restaurant, promising to text him when you got home. Sometimes, however, the day ended with him cornering you against the back alley, kissing you like he was a man starved, and then wishing you good night with his hair ruffled and a satisfied smirk. Your schedules didn't permit much more but what you had was good.
The bell on the front door rang.
You looked up and found Carmy changing the door sign to closed and walking up to you with purpose.
"Hey, you okay?" you asked with concern. 
"Can I steal you for a minute?" he said, out of breath.
"Sure!"
He grabbed your wrist and dragged you into the changing room.
"Carmy, wha-"
He started kissing you, dirty, his tongue eager and his hands everywhere. After the initial shock, you sighed into his embrace, enjoying the feeling of him all around you, tracing the muscle of his arms over his shirt. You hummed into his mouth. 
Pleasure took over and when Carmy started undressing you, you followed suit. You opened you legs to bracket one of his thighs, getting close. He seemed to enjoy it, grinding against you. It was a lot; the feeling of him vibrating out of his skin on your front and the wall on your back...
"Fuck," Carmy breathed hard against your neck as he unbuttoned his trousers and yours. Before you knew it, he had taken your trousers and your underwear off all at once. 
"You brought something?" you asked into his ear, out of breath and needy.
"Yes, I got you, yes," he groaned as he put the condom on. 
You smiled into his shoulder. He was desperate, out of his mind with want, and he still took care of you. That tenderness turned into lust quickly though when his arms lifted you up against the wall so that you had to hold his shoulders with all your strength and cross your legs behind his waist. He started pounding into you hard, a little painful, the sounds he made were feral - it was so so good.
"Jesus, fuck!" he growled on the side of your face. 
You couldn't speak, the only thing you could utter were choked out, wanton moans. 
Your orgasm surprised you. Between one thrust and the other, you started shuddering with pleasure. It was almost silent, but overwhelming all the same. His hair tickled at your cheek and your legs shook around his waist. Carmy kept you upright as he went on, chasing his peak, and you let him, whispering encouragement.
"That was so hot, Carmy, so fucking hot," you mumbled. "I'd let you do that to me every day."
His hips stuttered then. He let out a moan so lewd that it made you curl your toes and hum with pleasure. He lowered you to your feet as gently as he could with his arms and legs trembling.
"Holy shit," he sighed.
"You can say that again," you replied, your fingers carding through his hair. "What happened?"
"Dunno," he was still trying to catch his breath, lingering in your embrace. "I just- couldn't stop thinking about you. What I'd do to you. And then the lunch rush and- I felt like I needed you right now or I would die."
You nodded, your heart beating faster even though you both were still. 
"I haven't stopped thinking about you either, for the record. Ever since, you know..." you blushed.
"I didn't think it would be that good," he confessed, his face hidden in your neck. "I can't stop thinking about it," he caressed your lower back. "I feel like a fucking teenager or, I don't know, Richie."
You both laughed. 
"I think it's sweet," you said after a while. 
He took a step back to look at you, disbelief painted all over his face. But you leaned over and kissed him tenderly to clear up any doubts. 
"Come on," you said. "Let's get dressed before they realize you're missing."
Carmy put his boxers on and then helped you dress, placing kisses in random places as he went. Then, he quickly dressed himself. He was flushed but his hair looked the same as ever. The same couldn't be said about you - the mirror showed the picture of a well-fucked woman, hair messy and clothes wrinkled. 
"This is vintage, you know?" you reprimanded him playfully as you rearranged your top to actually cover your bra.
"1960s?" Carmy guessed.
"1970s, but close enough," you kissed his cheek and sent him off. "Go! I'll see you later."
He went back for another kiss before running out of the shop and into the restaurant, not before turning the door sign back to open.
~
While a quickie in the back of the store was understandably thrilling, you both agreed that everyone at the restaurant would figure out something was off if Carmy kept disappearing for fifteen minutes, then coming back smiling. So, you started to schedule some time together. It forced Carmy to take time off the restaurant, which initially made you feel guilty until you bumped into Richie one day.
"Looking for Carmen?" he asked, a cigarette hanging from his mouth.
"Yeah, I'll wait, don't worry." You were supposed to be walking together to his apartment for a quiet night in. 
"I have to thank you," Richie said all of a sudden. 
"Thank me?"
"You're keeping him sane - Carmy," he took a deep breath. "He was this, you know, fucking control freak, micromanaging nightmare," he cleared his throat. "He's taking time off, leaving on time, because of you."
You played with the strap of your handbag nervously. How do you reply to that? 
"Uh, you're welcome, I guess."
"I mean it," he insisted. "He's actually sleeping and shit. He's intense. I know," he waved the cigarette around. "But he's- family, you know? I want him to be happy."
You smiled. "I want that too," you said softly.
"Good," he replied simply and walked away just as Carmy got out, jacket and hat on. 
"Was that Richie?"
"Yep," you said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. 
"What'd he tell you?" he looked nervous.
"Nothing," you shrugged and then added with a smile: "Only that you are very annoying and that he thanked me for taking you away."
"Fuck off," he chuckled and put an arm around you. "Let's go home."
~
Carmy was on top of you, the mattress was swaying back and forth with the force of his thrusts, and your hands were grabbing his ass, keeping him close. You weren't kissing, not really - your lips touched his, mouths open, moaning against each other. It was messy and beautiful. 
"Holy shit," he groaned, picking up speed. 
You arched your back trying to get the right angle, to have his cock hit that spot inside you, but he kept missing. It was a little frustrating but you held on to him; his skin was warm and soft, and the sounds he made were heavenly. It was all for you, it was everything.
"Carmy," you moaned softly.
"Oh, fuck," his climax hit him like a train; he collapsed on top of you, hips still trembling. You shifted to hold him close to your chest, your hands caressing his curls. The back of his neck was wet with sweat. 
After a little while, he gathered enough strength to roll off from you, his breaths still labored. 
"I love how you sound when you come," you confessed, tracing his jawline with your finger. He hummed, soft smile and closed eyes. 
Suddenly, he opened his eyes. "Wait, you didn't-?"
You shook your head, still touching his face.
"It happens. Remember I told you it wasn't always like that?"
In truth, you had been very lucky that this was the first time you two had this particular problem. Either Carmy was a very good student or you were absolutely crazy about him. Maybe both. 
"What can I do?" a wrinkle between his eyebrows interrupted the bliss on his face and you tried to iron it out with your fingers. 
"I'm a big girl. I can manage," you declared. "You can watch if you want," you said mischievously. 
Carmy gulped. "Okay."
You opened your legs wide, feet on the mattress, and you started fingering yourself. It was slow, you turned your head to see Carmy as you moaned, putting a little bit of a show. He got close, his forehead to yours.
"Can I help? Please, let me help," his voice was hoarse with need. 
You guided his hand down. He had gotten quite good at reading you since that first time together, getting quicker when you gasped, pressing harder when you moaned. 
It startled you when he stopped - you whined a little.
"Sorry," he apologized. "I just want to try something."
You saw him raise the hand that had been touching you up to his face. Without breaking eye contact, he sucked his middle finger dry. You moaned at the sight. 
Slowly, he kissed his way down your body: your neck, your shoulder, your nipple, your belly, your hip... He shifted on the bed until he was lying on his stomach, between your legs.
"I'm gonna need you to guide me here," Carmy said; you could feel his exhale on your navel. 
"Fuck, Carmy," you writhed on the bed. "Hold me," you gestured at the place on your hips that would keep you still, his long fingers anchored there. "Do what you're comfortable with," you said, flushed to the chest with desire, "I'll tell you where it feels good."
You expected him to maybe kiss around your clit shyly, perhaps the gentle touch of his tongue between your folds... You didn't expect him to lick a long stripe from the bottom of your lips to the top, flicking at your clit. You let out a loud moan. He repeated the movement a few times, speeding up as he went, you buried a hand in his curls. 
"Yes, that feels- yes," you mumbled nonsensically. He hummed into you. 
Then, he peppered kisses all over, which felt nice and let you catch your breath, but he wasn't satisfied. He reached your clit and started licking at it. You thanked your stars for Carmy's strong hands, because you could not stay still, writhing in pleasure. 
"That's so fucking good, Carmy," your voice went higher and your fingers tugged at his curls. 
He moved downwards, lapping eagerly at your wetness, his nose hitting your clit as he moved.
"Fucking- oh!" you arched your back and he tightened the grip on your hips, almost bruising and so hot. "Please don't stop," you begged. 
He stayed there, keeping his rhythm steady, tilting his head a little, making you moan.
"You make me feel so good, Carmy," you praised, knowing by now that he liked that. He looked up, his eyes dark with lust, and you extended a hand to hold his, tattooed fingers intertwined with yours. "You are so good to me."
He sped up at that, the slow tilt of his head turned into him shaking it, his beautiful nose hitting your clit mercilessly. His mouth kept sucking and sucking, bringing you closer and closer...
"I'm gonna-" you gasped for air. "I'm gonna come."
It was white hot, blinding, and loud. You didn't realize you were screaming until you stopped. Carmy soothed the skin on your hips gently, waiting for you to come back. His blue eyes marveled at the sight of you and he ran a hand over his face to clean up a little bit. 
"Carmy," was all you managed to say, out of breath and absolutely fucked out. He climbed up your body and kissed you, smiling against your mouth.
"I love the way you sound too."
[Part 3]
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tothosewholisten · 4 months ago
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Forever Healed | TUA insert
Chapter: 09
<<previous chapter | next chapter>>
Masterlist
I went downstairs to see two of my estranged roommates, Allison and Luther with somber looks on their faces. I was about to speak up but stopped once I saw who they were looking at. It was Grace, who no longer moved or sang or comforted us.
She was dead, and I know robots aren’t alive but this felt like another death I'd have to witness.
“The two guys last night, the ones with the mask, did this to her,” Allison said to Luther. The two didn't look up to see me, both were in their heads at the death of their mother.
Grace was sitting in the painting room chair, the space we kids dubbed as her bedroom because she didn’t sleep or have one of her own. The only thing that was missing from her was her signature smile and her normal pale arm. Instead, her arm was sliced open by what looked like a knife and oozed out wires of all different colors.
I don’t remember the two gunmen carrying knives last night but who knows they could've gotten crafty. But It's sad to think If she was a real person, I would’ve been able to save her.
I made my presence known by stomping my shoe and moving closer to the pair. Allison's eyes slightly lit up once she saw me. “You’re okay!” She sighed happily.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I giggled with my arms open as she ran over to embrace me. Luther did not move from Grace's body though, his face was cold and distant. I didn't want to ask but I started to think, what happened last night?
“Oh god, have you seen Mom yet?” She whispered. “This has to do with Five somehow. I mean they were looking for him..”
I frowned. “I haven't seen him or Klaus in some time now and I'm starting to get nervous.”
Allison reassures me that they'll turn up but she turns back to Luther who has something to say. “I know I was arguing to turn Grace off, but it doesn't make seeing her like this any easier.”
“Poor Diego.” I blurt out. “This is gonna be so hard for him.” I couldn’t see eye to eye with him, like ever. But I did see him a bit differently after yesterday.
“Yeah, it's hard on all of us.” He says while walking out of Grace's room.
“Hey, wait,” I called out to Luther before he left. The giant man turns to look at me, uncertainly. “I know it was you last night, the one who saved me. I just want to say thank you for pulling that guy away from me.”
“You’ve saved me in my lifetime more times than I can count. I can tell something is off about you guys today and I don’t think I was awake to hear it but. I just wanted to say thanks.” I smile at him.
“But anyways you guys should talk. I'm going to go look for Klaus.” I shoot Allison one more goodbye before heading out.
“I'm glad you're okay, Y/n” I hear one of them mutter as I leave.
..
“Klaus?” I yell all around the mansion. By now I've checked all his normal spots. His room, my room, Ben’s room, the kitchen, Reginald’s bar, all the bathrooms and all the random nooks and crannies we'd hide in as children with Ben.
Ben.. to think I've been so preoccupied these past days to think about him. And I think about him all the time. He'd know where Klaus was instantly, he was just that type of person.
I go back upstairs to my room to change before heading outside. To check Klaus's frequent spots around town.
First, the alley where he'd buy drugs and all kinds of things. It was dingy and dark but I'd find him here a lot back when I was younger. I left the mansion but never left him. Even let him crash with me at my ex's house whenever he needed to, which my ex was never happy about. We found happiness in walking the streets and laughing with each other till sunrise.
But it wasn't always good, sometimes I'd catch him in a rough spot due to drugs and he'd push me away. I never stopped trying, I would never give up on him and he wouldn't if i was in his spot.
Next was my actual apartment. I hadn't been back in forever, maybe he got tired of the academy and came here? But my apartment was small and didn't have many places for him to hide, it was clear he wasn't there either.
The last place I could think of was a park we used to go to as kids. There'd be days when Reginald was less diligent about watching us, and after dark all of us kids would escape to come here. And have at least a few hours of solace before returning to hell.
I took a seat against a large tree that blocked the sunlight from shining in the park. He wasn't anywhere I'd known he would be. I thought he wouldn't leave town without telling me, but I'm not even sure. I let out small huffs of frustration as I buried my head in my hands.
Suddenly there were more tears on my head than there were in my eyes. I sniffle while looking up. The once-cloudy sky has turned into pouring rain and I'm outside without an umbrella.
..
14 YEARS AGO
“Are we ready to go?” Asked Klaus.
The three of us, Klaus, Ben and I decided we were leaving for the park. After a particularly hard day and mission, it was clear I needed out. Ben asked everyone if they wanted to go, but they all looked at each other then us and snickered.
They told us we should go just the two of us. We actually were about to leave, but Klaus was the only one stupid enough to join us. Just kidding.
The sky was clear this day but dark, meaning it was a clear indication that it was time. Diego and Allison told us they'd distract Reginald if he asked anything. We knew we couldn't go out the front door, instead we went out my window.
Klaus was the first one to jump down; he insisted that he was the bravest out of all of us. And Ben slowly followed after him.
That left me in the window, looking down at the very tall jump I'd have to land. I shook my head at the two. “Why couldn't we have left down Five's window? There are actual steps there!” I whisper yell.
Klaus chuckles. “We're already here, just jump!”
I know when jumping from a high distance without a cushion landing spot, it would help if you didn't look down. But my eyes were glued to the ground anyway. I would be fine if I jumped, any scars would go away but just the thought of it made me shake.
“Unless you're a chicken! That's okay, me and Benny will go without you.” He yells.
“Keep your voice down,” Ben says, elbowing him in the stomach. “Ow!” Klaus cries. Ben looks up at me. “But he's got the right idea! You'll be okay just jump.” He says stuffing his hands in his black jacket.
“Just go without me! I'll go to bed.” I reply, trying to smile at the pair.
“Y/n, listen to me. You'll be okay, jump and..” I didn't hear the last part of what he said.
“What??!” I yell.
“He said he's gonna catch you!” Klaus snickers. “Shut up Klaus,” Ben whispers back. “I will though, if I have to!”
I sigh not wanting to ruin their fun, I'm the one who wanted to go out anyway. “Okay, I'll jump.”
I take a small running start before leaping out of my large window. The wind in my hair felt great, it made me feel like I was almost flying. Until I looked down at the floor I was about to land on. I closed my eyes as I was about to scream and go head-first into the ground. But as I opened my eyes I saw that the cement never smacked me in the face. Instead, I land on someone else.
Ben tried his best but he is still a boy. He held his arms open but it ended with him knocking into the cement and me gripping onto his black hoodie for dear life. I quickly get off him and pull him to his feet as Klaus hollers in laughter at us.
Once he got up I could tell that Ben's head looked a little bruised as well as his hands. I placed my hands on his and watched as yellow wisps of light reached all of his bruises. "Thanks." He smiled and I nodded back. I stopped holding his hands when I heard Klaus almost falling back in laughter.
"You guys-" I cut him off before he embarrasses me by kicking him in the shins with all my might. "Not another word," I mutter.
He held onto his legs and whimpered in pain, now it was our turn to laugh at him on the way to the park. I did eventually heal him that day but seeing him embarrassed was too funny to see go away. We did this several more times, just the three of us. And honestly, it was probably more fun than the whole group.
..
PRESENT DAY
I laugh underneath the now suddenly wilting tree at the thought, but it slowly turns into sobs. I don't have Ben anymore but I've somewhat come to understand that, but now I lost Klaus too. And Vanya is gone, I'm truly all alone. I sit there for what I think is hours, thinking back. Until the constant pour turns into drizzling and I stand up to go back to the academy. Maybe take a bath.
I slowly made it to a crosswalk so lost in thought that I didn't even see that it said I can go. But I am brought back to reality by the sound of a honking car. Some dick in a van was honking his horn at me?
What I did to piss this guy off I do not know, this was above even a catcall. He was demanding I move. Deciding to ignore the shithead I start to cross the road, until he almost runs me over.
“There's a crosswalk sign, do you see that?” I yell at the van. But the ugly vehicle would not stop honking at me, after being soaked in the rain I'm starting to lose my sanity. So I walked over to the van, thinking I was going to lay into this man and give him all the rage I'd been feeling. And maybe kick his car a few times.
I look at the man's window to see it's not a man at all. It's a boy? I know this shithead. “Five? Why are you honking at me!” I scream at the pubescent boy.
“Get in.” He yells back.
..
The two of us sat in silence for a while. I watched this fake teenager drive around and honk at people who were being stupid like a full-grown adult.
“Why are you here?” I ask, feeling uncomfortable in my wet clothes. “I'm looking for someone, I saw you walking.” He mutters.
“Oh okay..” I pause.
“I was calling your name before I started honking at you. You should really look where you're going.”
“I was fine. Aren't you the one who tried to run me over?”
“...”
“I have a question. Where'd you steal this van?”
“I didn't steal it, I borrowed it from a man in an alley.” he insisted. “Very likely story Five,” I remark back.
“I'm going to give it back. whenever I'm done with it.
“Okay new question, how do you know how to drive?”
“I can do everything.”
I scoff. “Yeah okay.”
“Well, I have a question for you. Why are you walking alone without an umbrella?”
“Just for shits and giggles, I'm looking for Klaus, have you seen him?”
“Can't say that I have. Where do you want me to drop you off?” He says while taking a familiar path that will lead us back to the academy.
I turn to look at him with my eyebrows furrowed. “Can't I stay? Join you on your spy missions?” Five looks at me, clearly not keeping his eyes on the road. Almost in shock about me wanting to stay with him. To break the silence I force a cough. “I mean I don't know what else to do right now. I can leave If I'm cramping your style.”
“Okay” is all he says while turning in the opposite direction from the mansion. “Well, that means we are going to find someone.”
“Who?” I ask.
“You'll see,” Five tells me.
Five parked us in another familiar part of town, where Klaus, him and I were not even a day or two ago. “Oh no, Five we're gonna terrorize these people again?” I said while looking around.
“No, we're just going after the main man. I need more answers.” Five peers out the side window to look at a different busy street.
“You really think he's going to give you more information if you just barge into his office again?”
He turns back to me. “We're not going in, we're going to him.”
“Oh my god..”
Five explains that he plans to corner the man in his own car after he comes back from whatever hobby he does while out of the office. I try to tell him that this plan is going to go wrong but of course he doesn't listen. He reached into his glove compartment and grabbed a small pocket knife, and I'm sure he didn't just grab it to look cool.
“You told me you're going to ask for more information, Five,” I questioned while reaching for the knife.
He grabs the weapon back and holds it higher in the air. “Let's see where the night takes us.”
..
Five blinks him and I next to a tree, like the one I was at earlier. The tree faces a blue car that must've belonged to the guy whose name slipped my mind.
Not long after he walks toward us, with a tiny puppy in hand. He looked almost unrecognizable out of his lab coat, but not in a good way. His clothes reminded me of a jogging outfit they also matched his blue car.
He opens the car and places his puppy into the back seat then he starts to get into the car himself. Before he can sit down Five pulls me with him when he blinks into the car. Sitting me down in the backseat with the puppy who surprisingly is not barking at me yet.
Five blinks into the front seat, but the man doesn't even notice him. Only flinching back when Five lunges at him with his pocket knife.
“Oh, Jesus!” He cries out. Five doesn't even give him another moment to think before going straight into grilling. “One chance. That's all you got. One chance to tell me exactly what's going on in that lab.” He yells, putting the knife up to the man's throat.
So much for the peaceful approach. The man moves his eyes towards me for a split second and then back to the terrifying Five. “I… I manufacture prosthetic devices for fake patients. I bill the insurance companies and then sell them for cash on the black market.” He stutters.
“including eyeballs?” Five asked.
The man gulps. “Yeah, they're my biggest seller. I mean they sell like hotcakes. I--I've got a list, a waiting list, probably twenty buyers.”
“So the serial number, my uh, brother gave you..” He finishes my sentence. “Could've already been bought. Yes, off– off the books.” He says.
Five huffs like he's a chain smoker and starts to get more tense, letting the knife get centimeters away from the man's skin.
“I needed that list, Lance. Names and numbers, and I need it now!” Five screeches.
I take my eyes off them to turn to the dog that's nearing closer to me. At first, I tried to keep my distance but this puppy insisted on getting close. Which shouldn't be a big problem. It's a small dog, but something was off. I'm squeezing myself practically against the door to get away from this dog but he keeps getting closer. I close my eyes and I'm back to that day so many years ago.
I'm not there anymore, it's time for me to move on but I can't. My hands start to shake and my body runs cold. I couldn't help but think that this dog knew what I did to the other, way back when and wanted to take revenge.
While taking deep breaths I turned my head slowly to get a better look at the pup.. this dog wasn't going to hurt me, it didn't know what I did, and I was okay. So why do I feel like this?
“I don't have it. I mean, not on me. The only copy is in my safe at the lab.” Lance's words break my deep breaths and I try once again to focus on their conversation. This is for Five, as well as saving the world. Letting my depressing nature go is what I need to do now.
“Well, you start the car, then.” Five whispers. “Cause we're going on a field trip.” He slowly takes the knife off Lance's throat.
“O-Okay...” Lance tries to put himself back together at least enough to put his seatbelt on.
“Now.”
“Okay..”
..
Lance drives us back to the MeriTech headquarters which is also where Five’s van is. I'm the first to hop out of the car with Five and Lance a few steps behind me.
But I stopped in place once I saw dark smoke coming from the building. “Something’s wrong,” I told five. But he never stopped walking, and without a second thought, he rushed over to the fire. “Five wait!” I called out while chasing him down. Leaving Lance to his own devices.
The angry flames weren’t just in one room, it had spread throughout every single room in the building making it impossible to go inside. Five stopped at the entrance of the building when I caught up with him. We both stared at the building on fire.
“Get down!” I screamed over the sound of burning rooms as I tackled him to the ground. The flames rose from not just the building but towards us, causing an explosion of fire that could’ve killed him.
He wailed out at the sudden burst, but safely hit the ground. Me on the other hand, I was covered in marks. But thankfully my clothes were no longer wet, just slowly catching on fire. I dragged him out of the way more towards the street as I heard sirens in the distance.
“We need to move now,” I stress to Five but he doesn’t reply back. His eyes never break from the fire. “I know, I know but let’s go,” I say again hoping he would budge this time. But he didn't, so I grabbed him and pulled him back over to the van.
Once we get to the van without Lance, it is clear that whoever had lit the building on fire knew we were there. And I knew that because the front window was fogged with a message.
It read. “Your brother says hi.. brother? Which one.” I say out loud while thinking. Five finally started to move from his motionless state when I looked over at him. But he wouldn't be any help right now. The look on his face and the dullness in his eyes was a look I've seen on many people's faces before.
But then it hit me. “Klaus.”
Would you wanna be on a taglist for this story? Say taglist in comments
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hexgaywire · 6 months ago
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hello! (◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ノI hope you're having a great day! i wanted to ask if it's okay to make a request (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)
I'd like to request where reader is also a streamer and whenever a collab horror stream with vox and hex and (separately), reader's heart beat always speeds up at the start (the game is not on yet and chat can see since she's already set up her heart beat monitor) like at some point chat notices it's a recurring thing that only happens during horror collabs with vox or hex and the chat kinda outs reader to them, and their reaction to that information.
i dunno if that makes sense exactly 😭🥹 (also please do not mind the request it if you're not up to writing 🥹 it's just me projecting how how my heart beats absolutely fast when i hear these two 😞)
I'm here to deliver Hex and Vox brain rot! One thing about me I will always write for Hex if given the opportunity. To preface I have not watched a Vox stream in a moment so I apologize if he seems a little OOC. Mentally I'm still in his ASMR era. Also shout out to Hex Haywire for currently, as of writing this, unable to go live on YouTube bc he posted horny on main.
»»————- ☾ ————-««
Heart Monitor Shenanigans with Vox and Hex
Rating: SFW
Pairing: Streamer/Vtuber Reader / Vox, Hex (separate)
Warnings: Implied hidden crush. That's it that's the intro.
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"Are you excited chat?" Vox entertains your combined chats as you struggle to set up your heartbeat monitor; horror game menu lopping every couple minutes that ticks by. "I'm so sorry guys, this happens every time. I even tested it out a couple hours before the stream so we would have this issue." You sheepishly say. " That's quite alright, Y/N, your chat is lovely and so are my Kindred. They get a Zatsu, a collab and a heartbeat monitor all in one stream." He chuckles. Finally after restarting the program and refreshing it on OBS your heartbeat monitor springs to life. " Thank God!" You exclaim. "Thanks for your patience everyone!" "We are finally ready? Let's gooooo! No 'Shupport' needed, nice work Y/N!" Vox praises you. Your heart jumps in your chest at the praise.
> Ayo why is Y/N BPM so high lololol
>Y/N!!!! You do this every collab with Vox
> That's kinda high....
You watch in horror as your chat blatantly drags you under the bus. You cough awkwardly and quickly try to divert the conversation. "With the scuff out of the way, why don't we get started?" You glance over at Vox's POV and his chat and man the Kindred's are also throwing you under the bus.
> Y'all are seeing what I'm seeing right?
> Love how the game hasn't even started yet and their heart rate is off they hearts HAHA
> My tsundere oshi and oblivious oshi
Vox, you can tell, is trying his best not to tease you you can tell by the tone in his voice. "Thank you for the Supa, remember to follow rules chat, this is a collab Y/N is a guest." Vox starts the game and also tries to take the attention of you, which makes your heart rate spike again. The chat goes nuts. Both you and Vox continue as normal though and begin the game.
-
"Thank you all for watching and thank you to Vox for the collab! I can't wait for the next one!! Say bye chat!!!" You say enthusiastic as you both prepare to end your streams. Once you end stream Vox immediately starts to haze you. "So are we gunna talk about the high BPM or was it just the anxiety of the monitor not working?" He asks smugly. "It's uh gotta be the anxiety thing..." You mumble. "Yeah, I think Kyle said the same thing last time though, Y/N... " " Vox I-" " I'm teasing you, it's fine. Honestly I find it flattering." You roll your eyes but the heat rises to your cheeks. " Thanks for the collab today, we'll definitely have to do this again soon." " Hey maybe next time we can do an off collab? " Vox suggests. A million thoughts run through your head and before you can respond Vox cuts in. "Think about it. I'd love to do it sometime. Have a good one Y/N! " Vox leaves the call. You sit there staring at your monitor which once again, spikes.... You don't know if your heart can handle an off collab.
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"Chat I think Hex forgot about us." You sigh dramatically. You frantically message him over Discord for the third time asking him if he's awake. Hex wasn't streaming his POV and did warn you he might be a few minutes later but as you sit here, dedicated sicklings and your own chat, anxiously waiting.
"I'm giving him 5 more minutes then we are jumping in without him." You huff. You hear the discord " join" noise and you don't register it until you hear his voice. "You'd really start without me?" His voice as raspy as ever cuts in. Your heart pounds in your chest, partly because you weren't expecting him to join so suddenly. "H.. hex Haywire everyone!"
> Hexy!!!! Welcome
> Hi Hex!
> Woah morning voice TSKR
"Sorry for the wait... I over slept..." He admits. "You're stupid." You giggle. "You leave your collab partner and your chat, alone, unsupervised, we could've been planning to overthrow you." You joke. " You wouldn't do that, you're too sweet." He yawns. " Right chat? Aren't they the sweetest." You can see your heart rate monitor skyrocket.
> They are the sweetest!!! So true Hex
> Sus monitor
> Y/N Did you forget you have a monitor on? Www
Man the sicklings don't let anything slide. "Let's uh... Start the game." You cough awkwardly.
-
"Sicklings please remember to thank y/n for streaming their POV today." Hex hums out. " And thank you to Hex for coming on! Everyone say bye to Hex!!! Thank you all for coming to today's stream and I'll be back tomorrow with some more Stardew Valley! Byee!!" You say as you mute your OBS and change to your ending scene. "You're resting heart rate is concerning Y/N." Hex comments nonchalantly. "I.... pump blood really fast?" You try to avoid this topic like the plague. "Listen thanks again for breaking your sleep schedule for me, next time we'll stream in your time zone." You say. "Next time huh? Already excited for the next one." You can hear the smugness in his voice. "So what." You huff. He chuckles. "Just let me know, you know I love collabing with you. Good night Y/N" Hex hangs up and you're left with a huge grin on your face.
»»————- ☾ ————-««
Psst down here... My requests are open 🗣️
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hunter-sylvester · 4 months ago
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Skullflower is Autistic: A Breakdown.
Buckle the fuck up.
Disclaimer: Don't take any of this too seriously.
Also all of this was written over a year ago with only minor edits. I'm just posting it now cause it's been rotting in my drafts and, like, fuck it.
I've wanted to try and make a comprehensive breakdown like this for a while just because I love these characters and very heavily interpret them all as autistic (with ADHD as well.) But this is just the perspective of one guy. And I probably overstate it but the fact that we can all have our own very personal interpretations about media is what's great about analysis & fandom.
Hunter Sylvester.
Yes I'm doing Hunter first, what do you think I am? Unbiased? Please.
Autistic Perfectionism. Hunter's autistic perfectionism is something I've mentioned before and somewhat struggle to describe satisfactorily. But to me the most obvious example is his inability to deal with the idea of Emily joining Skullfucker as a cellist. Obviously, there's the queer angle to this but I think two reasons can play a role at once. He's in love with Kevin so he doesn't want a girl that Kevin picked to be a part of their band. Additionally, I'd argue that he can't deal with the idea of having a girl cellist as their bass player because it in NO WAY fits the mental image that Hunter has in his mind of what he wanted Skullfucker to be. It doesn't match the perfect idea that he's dreamed of, that he holds onto for dear life, so he can't deal with it.
Hyperfixations. "Hunter's been into a lot of things since I've known him but he's stuck with metal longer than any of them." - Kevin. Need I say more? Well, I will anyway. The guy hyperfixates. I think the closest thing we have to a canon confirmed hyperfixation is Dungeons & Dragons. Because of what in my mind is a combination of Autism and ADHD in Hunter, they don't fully leave him. He still likes and plays D&D, but he's not as obsessed with it as he used to be when he made his dad buy him the most ridiculous game terrain that fucking lights up.
Special Interests. I think one of the easiest claims to make is that metal is a special interest for Hunter. He entrenches his entire life in it and reaches for it when a stressful situation happens to try and make himself feel more okay. (getting his hair cut off by Skip and relating his new look to Jason Newsted) It's clearly something that comforts him, having been obsessed with it ever since his mom left. Which, regardless of the specific circumstances, is a horridly stressful situation for any 12-13 year old.
Struggles with social interaction. He doesn't seem to have a lot of friends. He gets along with Robbie, Kevin (obviously) and the people he plays D&D with but that seems to be it. Especially whenever the situation gets very stressful, Hunter's mind immediately reaches for his comfort interest to try and make it through (or to lash out). He can't easily just be comfortable in a strange social situation. Or a strange situation in general.
Stims. Hunter stims by playing guitar. That's it, that's the whole point. And there's this little move:
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Kevin Schlieb.
Neutrality. The way Kevin just takes Hunter and Emily as they are feels autistic to me.
Struggles with social interaction. And he clearly wants it to be easier for him. He wants to connect to people but he doesn't know how. It's not like he doesn't understand people. He does. He understands Hunter better than Hunter understands himself. "sometimes he's not so nice to people when he's uncomfortable" "You are afraid of everybody" "you treat everybody like shit and you make them hate you" But that understanding of how people think and work doesn't translate to his direct interactions with most of his peers. Maybe because he understands other neurodivergent people but not neurotypicals. The fact he does have a decent read on, at the very least, his best friend could also be indicative of the extra work Kevin has had to put in over the course of his life to try and understand people to begin with.
Directness. A lot of Kevin does feel direct to me. I suppose in a 'what you see is what you get' sort of way. He obviously has the whole protagonist thing going on which tends to end you up with pretty neutral, earnest and open characters.
Stims:
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Emily Spector.
Gets overstimulated. Emily's outbursts could be attributed more to a struggle regulating her emotions. It's not a huge stretch to assume her mystery medication is a mood stabilizer. However, the idea of it being a combination of being overstimulated and then no longer being able to deal with her anger on top of the distress she's already feeling feels apt to me. This is a stretch, but, we only ever see her have outbursts at school. A nightmare environment for the stimuli sensitive. Emily is by far the character out of the main three we spend the least time with, which could easily explain my previous point away. We hardly see her out of school to begin with. But I think there can be merit in taking it as a part of the story, rather than an incidental effect of her being left by the wayside.
Black and white thinking. "So first you tell me that I should hate him, and now you want me to help him?" - Emily. No, he didn't say you should hate him, Emily. "You have every right to be mad- especially at Hunter!" - Kevin.
Directness. I mean she literally calls up Kevin to ask him if he wants to go fuck in a parking lot and more power to her. But it is very direct.
Struggles with social interaction. And apart from Skip & Co. having a particular hate-boner for Hunter, Emily might actually be the most widely ostracized for her lack of social finesse. Which would check out because society is brutally cruel to girls. Kevin is shown to have some positive interaction outside of the other two main characters, so is Hunter. And, yes, so is Emily. But it's only with the janitor of the school, who she is implied to have had previous interactions with. Having your only friend at school be the fucking janitor is not a neurotypical experience. I know I certainly got along easier with a handful of teachers than I did with my peers back when I was at school.
Whatever this is. Fam, I've BEEN there...but it's not neurotypical:
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A 'little' note to end on: I want to state that I love all three of these character very dearly. I don't pretend that I don't have a favorite, but they are all amazing. There's various reasons why Metal Lords is such a comforting movie, but a big one, is that the characters act in a way that feels incredibly familiar. They act like me. They act like my autistic friends. We make weird facial expressions, we understand the world and each other through our interests. The way all of them talk feels so close to home. (The swearing is actually part of that. A lot of real people swear and over-censoring of that tends to bug me but that's kinda beside the point lmao)
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peachhcs · 6 months ago
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Does Will tell any of the guys he's realised his mistake??
Or even just that he slept with someone??
i like to think will calls grace first. she gives the best advice when it comes to any of this and then he calls gabe and ryan to talk to them.
"what's up, will?" grace asked as soon as she answered the phone.
"i hooked up with someone," will said immediately which caught grace off guard.
"what?"
"there was this halloween party last night..i think i was a little drunk and i hooked up with this girl," the boy explained, chewing on the bottom of his lip.
"okay. did something happen?" the older girl grew concerned.
"only that i did it because i thought i'd be able to get over samy and i didn't. i only thought about her the entire time," the hockey player's head fell into his hands as he sat on the end of his bed.
"oh. i see," the older blonde was at a bit of a loss with what to say.
"i think i fucked up, grace. i think i really, really fucked up," will frowned deeply as all the feelings he's tried pushing away for months began resurfacing.
"will..you didn't..fuck up. did you make a bad choice on rash thoughts? yeah. you didn't completely fuck up though," grace tried reassuring her brother even though she couldn't quite back his decisions.
"i should've talked to her more. i don't..i don't know what i was thinking. i thought i was letting her go for the better, but anytime i see her anywhere i wish i could call her and everything was how it used to be," now will was crying.
"it's not too late to talk. reach out to her. tell her you wanna talk or something."
"i can't. she blocked me on everything so even if i wanted to talk to her, i physically can't," the younger boy frowned deeply.
"do you want me to mention something?" grace offered softly.
"no, that's gonna make me look stupid. she doesn't wanna talk to me and i don't blame her," a long sigh fell from will's lips.
"look, we all do stupid shit when we're 18. she definitely does wanna talk to you. you guys were best friends once upon a time. that kind of bond doesn't disappear that easily. is there any time soon you'll be out near michigan or something?"
"i don't know. days off are random sometimes and unpredictable," will shrugged even though grace couldn't see him.
"maybe talk to gabe and ryan. they could make something happen. i know they're rooting for you two as much as i am to get back together or at least talk," will knew his older sister had a point. he should talk to gabe and ryan, but then they'd just tell him i told you so and harp on him.
"i don't know. i'll see. i should let you go," will mumbled.
"i'm always here to talk, will. it's gonna work out, i promise," the hockey player really wanted to believe his sister's words and he hoped to god it was true.
"wow, look who's calling first," ryan grinned through the screen when the call connected. will rolled his eyes a bit, but smiled when he saw his friends on his computer screen.
"you look like shit," gabe commented upon seeing will's red eyes and puffy cheeks.
"fuck off," the blonde mumbled.
"i'm kidding. it's good to see you. you had a hella game the other night," the dark-haired boy cheered.
"dude, you put those older guys to shame. like you were flying," ryan laughed making will laugh as well.
"thanks, it was pretty cool taking some of the veterans down. they're gonna be after me now."
"yeah, no shit. i think everyone now knows why you decided to sign on so early," gabe grinned.
their compliments had will flushing with pride. he's been working hard to prove himself these last few games and he was glad it was all finally paying off.
"by the way, halloween was so legendary this year. we went to like four different parties," ryan chuckled.
"i bet it's crazy in california," gabe wondered as the topic shifted.
"yeah, it is pretty crazy out here. so crazy i even hooked up with someone.." will began which had gabe and ryan's eyebrows raising.
"wait, you hooked up with someone? who?"
"uh..i don't really know her name, but i think..i think i regret it. i thought it would like..help me realize breaking up with samy was the right choice, but it didn't. i just thought about her the entire time.." will felt almost ashamed admitting this to his friends.
"oh."
"you're gonna tell me i told you so, but i know i fucked up now. i..i shouldn't have broken up with samy. i thought it would be better for both of us, but i just really miss her and i wish i could talk to her or something," the blonde frowned.
"you're saying this now? six months after the fact?" gabe raised his eyebrows.
"oh come on, give me a break. i was stupid, i know. i finally realize that now. i don't know what to do," upon seeing their friend's face, gabe and ryan saw how torn up will was about everything. they knew he really regretted everything that happened.
"i just don't get why you didn't talk to her more about this before you even decided to break up? you know she would've talked with you about whatever you were worried about," ryan said.
"it was a bad decision during very rash thoughts. i was overwhelmed and a mess back in may. i got scared and pushed her away like i do to everything. you guys don't need to tell me how much i fucked up. i know already," will huffed.
the three fell silent for a moment. will pulled a hand through his hair while gabe and ryan spoke with their eyes.
"a few of us are going to michigan over winter break to samy's lake house. if you can find some free time, you should come out. i think samy would like to see you. you two can finally talk maybe," gabe finally said.
"i'll think about it," will nodded. could he actually fly out to michigan and see samy after not speaking to her or seeing her for eight months though? the idea sent will's head spinning and not in a good way.
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inkblot22 · 8 months ago
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What's Worse?
I finally finished this. This unpostable thing. It's done and even if it's bad, I do not care. In the end, it ended up being 4k words and I'm okay with this. Header by @/cafekitsune
Who is this fic for? I tried to keep this one very neutral despite the many references to body parts, so anyone who can handle it is free to read! Keep in mind that pronouns such as you and they are used to refer to the reader. The reader is human and does have hair.
TW for coercion, noncon, dubcon, allusions to a physically and emotionally abusive dynamic, captivity, everyone is at least a little bit untrustworthy in this, mentions of the smell of blood, beastman-specific oddities and anatomy, violent and morbid similes. Just in case, I'd like to say that this is DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT. A lot of the stuff is more so implied than explicitly stated, but it's still there.
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The day he moved up a grade and began his “internship” is the same day he took you with him. Sure, Grim came along, but you’re often so busy, or he’s often so busy, either way. So you haven’t seen your familiar in months, and your life is filled with Leona.
You don’t know why he did this, but the first night you were there, he tapped your uvula with his fingers as he orally serviced you so feverishly that you left teeth indent bruises on his knuckles from biting down so hard as you tried not to be loud. He wore them like jewelry, and you know his brother saw them. Everyone at the table knew what happened, because, according to Leona, no matter how often you shower, the way you smell will always give you away.
That was a little over six months ago. As far as captivity goes, it’s rather cushy. You stay within the confines of the Afterglow Savannah’s palace. Sometimes Leona gets a bit aggressive and you take it, but you’re fed, clothed, and possibly pampered. It could be worse. It could be far worse. You could be in the dungeons. 
You actually don’t know if this place has a dungeon, come to think of it. The last time you asked Leona, he asked you if there was an issue with the room you shared with him. When you tried to explain why you asked, he called you a “dumb herbivore” in a very fond tone of voice, then fell asleep. You didn’t try asking again.
It didn’t stop you from wandering. As it turns out, the Afterglow is mostly populated by beastmen… beastpeople? Aren’t all people beasts? Whatever, the point is, you’re basically the only person in the palace with muted senses. You often think back to Rook, wondering how he trained himself to use his senses so well. You tried to practice once, but Leona caught you hiding a  ball and chucked the thing out the window, telling you to find something better to do with your “skills.” You sure used one of your senses, at least.
Unfortunately, these “muted” senses, despite them being completely sensible for your human state of being, have led to some issues. For instance, when someone approaches you, you don’t notice until they’re within your field of awareness. Beyond that, according to Leona, Farena, Cheka, and Farena’s wife, you also tend to just reek of blood.
You have no idea why, and you’ve never noticed this before. You get out of the shower, having scrubbed hard enough to rid yourself of any dirt but not enough to create micro-abrasions on your skin, and Leona still complains about it. You play fight with Cheka, gentle enough that neither of you gets harmed and he’s giggly, and he pauses his mirth and wrinkles his little nose before asking if you got hurt. Zuri, Farena’s wife, regularly would stop you whenever she saw you, her eyes wide as she asked you if everything was okay. The palace staff didn’t say anything, but they’d constantly be re-filling your first-aid kit, one that was “gifted” to you and one that the staff and Kifaji (despite him being human like you, or maybe just not obviously a beastman) insisted that you carry at all times.
But out of all of them, Farena was the worst. If you were in Cheka’s nursery, even just seconds after the kid fell asleep, Farena would pop out of nowhere. If you lingered a bit too long in the kitchen or hallways, anywhere too far from Leona’s wing, he’d approach with a smile, his arms spread wide. If you came to the dining hall without Leona’ his glowing brown eyes would find you, the intensity akin to a sudden knife wound. His persistence in being around you was all blanketed by his uncomfortable implications when he spoke to you.
Even so, you happened to somehow get lost. The hallways are sort of color-coded, but you’ve passed this same hallway several times, enough for you to be okay with admitting that you’ve been walking in a circle for the past twenty minutes. And, much like the devil, as soon as you thought that if you were there any longer, a certain lion-man would appear, Farena popped up and scooped you into a hearty hug as greeting, your feet coming off the floor.
“Leona’s partner!” He never calls you by name. It’s always just that. You are Leona’s partner, not your own person, you guess, “I knew I’d find you eventually.”
“Yes. Hello, your highness.” You wheezed as he placed you back on the floor.
“Oh, you’re so prickly, just like my baby brother. You two are a perfect match- he does like a bit of bite.”
You rarely knew how to respond to him, so you often didn’t. You just stared at him, like a total moron, but he continued talking like you aren’t giving him the most anserine of looks- a word he has used to describe you before, basically to your face.
“I’ve heard that you forgot your first aid kit. We don’t need you tripping and scratching yourself on Leona’s dresser again, and not with an inability to heal yourself.” He never gave you time to answer, “Of course, I know you aren’t magic, but those of you without it have made some wonderful inventions to make up for that.”
“Oh. Yeah, I just left for, like, two seconds so I could return something to the kitchen.”
He nodded, thoughtful, still smiling, “Well, did you hit your head? You’ve been walking in a circle, and you didn’t even stop to say hi to me.”
“No. I, uh.” You cast your gaze down the hallway closest to you, then looked back at Farena, “I am a bit lost. I guess someone else is usually with me when I’m wandering around.”
Leona is not the only person in his family with a cunning streak. You are marginally aware of this, and when Farena’s eyes narrowed, you sucked in a breath.
“Hmm. You’re right, Leona’s partner. It is rather strange not to see you by my baby brother’s side.”
It struck you multiple times in the past that the amount of times you bumped into Farena couldn’t possibly be a coincidence. He’s a king, so why was he never ruling or whatever kings did all day? It was incredibly strange, and you made the same subtle discomforted motions like clockwork. He usually pretended not to notice whatsoever.
His grin was always too bright. You did prefer Leona’s smirk, “Very well. It looks like I’ll need to escort you back to Leona’s quarters, won’t I?”
“Uh. I mean, if you’re not busy.”
“You’re such a mousy thing. Come,” He offered you his arm.
You took it, and true to his word, he led you back to Leona’s wing, then straight up to the door. He knocked, and you ducked out of his arm to cautiously open the door. Leona strolled out of the bathroom, hair and skin wet, his eyes not even skimming over you before they flashed to his brother, who strolled in as though he owned the place. Maybe he did. Who owns a palace if not the king?
“Ah, Leona! I found your partner, wandering the halls like a lost lamb.”
As soon as the words process in Leona’s mind, his green eyes are sliding to pin you down. Your limbs feel like lead, and you don’t move or emote, lest he strike. He’s like a snake when he’s like this, which is ironic. Perhaps it’s not ironic, and just comedic. Who knows?
Regardless, Farena keeps talking, ��And I missed you at lunch! What a shame. They had your favorite, you know. Meat! And lots of it. Don’t you ever get hungry, being in here all the time?”
If not for everyone talking about the way your skin smells, that comment could have been written off entirely. It didn’t feel great, being indirectly told that you smell like fresh meat, and Leona wasn’t helping much.
“Mmm. No. I don’t like my meat that rare.” Leona grumbles, taking a seat on his bed and waving you over. “Hey, c’mere and braid my hair.”
What was worse? Being told you smell delicious or being told you didn’t smell delicious enough? It was one of those things. You cautiously tied off his braids, capping both of them in beads that Cheka had gifted you. His hair was wet, clinging to his skin as desperately as the water did. You caught yourself watching a drop sliding over Leona’s tattoo and hummed softly. 
Farena was still talking. You didn’t hear the beginning, and you didn’t care about the end, so you completely tuned him out so you could finger detangle the rest of Leona’s wet hair. While you were ignoring Farena, you were pointedly all too aware of Leona’s sounds of pleasure. It took you a while to get used to it. You were a primate, and he was a lion. More lion than ape. He snorted and rumbled, huffed and chuffed, his face twisted in a scowl. 
“Ah, what a shame. I’ll have to speak to you later, Leona. Perhaps you could talk about those plans with Zuri. I’m sure she’d love to listen.” You tuned back in as Farena turned to the door, opening it before remembering himself and waving at you, “Bye bye, Leona’s partner!”
When he was gone, almost as soon as the door was closed, Leona twisted his torso to grab you around the waist and pull you into one of his kisses. You read somewhere that the reason men kiss so… wetly is so they can mark their partner. It makes more sense if they just didn’t want to kiss with dry lips, but you’re no kissing expert. Leona is not an exception to this, you supposed. He always licked his lips before pressing them against yours, slicked with his saliva and often accompanied by a quiet, barely perceptible growl. 
His kisses were dizzying. Possibly because it was difficult to breathe while kissing someone, and possibly because you were usually held in a crushing vice whenever he kissed you. Your poor ribcage had been squeezed many times. 
And just as soon as it started, he dropped you unceremoniously and stood up, walking past your sprawled body on his floor, “We’ve got some big dinner to get to. Get dressed.”
You scrambled to your feet, “Big dinner?”
“Mhm. It’s some official’s birthday. I can’t be bothered to remember who.”
That made enough sense. In the time you’d been here, you’d learned pretty quickly that it wasn’t exactly worth it to go out of your way to be remembered positively by everyone, especially not since you were… with Leona. In all the time you’d been here, you’d never been sure about what the nature of your relationship with him was, either. Asking would get you some kind of snarky or irritated answer, and not asking but thinking about it made it hard to focus on anything else, so you didn’t think about it.
“Oh. You see Grim today?” You asked while getting dressed in your own green and black dashiki, like a couple’s outfit in the matching pattern of Leona’s.
Like he always did, he stared for a moment before making a few small adjustments. It was funny, he couldn’t be bothered to care about his own appearance, and yet, when it came to you…
“Yeah, He’s good. Still working on the mage stuff.”
“Mmm. Okay. Thanks.” You mumbled, lifting your arms so Leona could look you over again, “What?”
“You stink like my brother. If we had time, I’d fix that, but…”
“What does he smell like?”
“Shouldn’t you be asking what I smell like?” He snapped, and you flinched. Sometimes his irritation came with physical indications, but heavier than the physical indications was the energy around him, “Forget it. Stay close to me tonight.”
You usually did. You hated parties here, but more than the parties themselves, you hated the strangers who came up to you and just said whatever. Last time, someone approached you and asked how big Leona’s wallet was for you to stick around. You’re learning to like nobility less, not that you particularly liked them before..
You’re tucked against Leona’s back for the entirety of the evening. He’s like a ward. People see him and walk the opposite direction unless they’re drunk or stupid, and those types are in short supply at the beginning of the night. Unfortunately, by the middle of the night, amongst sips of his drinks and nibbles of various finger foods, you felt exhausted and Leona was straight up pissed.
You wondered why for a bit too long. You barely even realized when you ended up back in his room, outside on his balcony. He was stewing, pouting like a toddler. You unstuck yourself from his side and sat in one of the chairs.
“Mmm.” He grumbled. He often did this, putting a noise to his emotion, but no words to explain himself. You’d wised up and figured out early on that it was best not to approach him for this type of thing, “Hey, runt.”
Uh oh. He tended to use that nickname before he did something foul to you. You squirmed in your chair and flinched as he turned around and yanked his shirt over his head. His pants went next. Leona didn’t bother with underwear.
“C’mere. What are you hidin’ in the corner for?” He mumbles, “We’ve got time now.”
Your uh oh gets multiplied. It’s not that you aren’t attracted to Leona, or that you’re not in the mood. It’s not that you’re terrified of him, not that you’re confused by his awkward libido. It’s that you honestly don’t know what he sees in you, sprinkled with a bit of relationship insecurity. You’re here because of him, you and Grim have a home because of him, but what’s going to happen when he gets bored with you? 
He looks over his shoulder at you sharply, “What the hell are you doin’? I said c’mere.”
You swallowed and took a few steps forward, stripping as you walked. The night air makes your skin tingle with goosebumps, your nipples hardening and a shiver rattling through you. It’s a very strong possibility that these feelings have beset you based only on the fact that someone could look up from Zuri’s garden and see you and Leona, both naked on his balcony.
 When you’re standing in front of him, he just stares, one of his hands ever so gently stroking himself. You think it’s funny, the phrase “playing with yourself,” because that is what it is. His fingers softly paw at his heavy balls, gliding up the base of his shaft to tweak the head of his cock under his foreskin. He doesn’t break his gaze on you to look at himself. The hand that is not busy with himself reaches out to grab your waist, just above the start of your hip, and yank you closer.
He’s not gentle. Not really. You know he has the capacity to be gentle, but he doesn’t really seem to care. In the past, when you’ve pleaded with him to be gentle, he’s told you that he would treat you like glass if he thought you were made of it, but since he’s seen you suffer worse (what is worse?) he doesn’t see the point in bothering. That doesn’t change the fact that his touch often hurts. Now is not an exception, and you make your displeasure clear with a soft noise of discomfort.
“Shhh. You wanna tell me what happened earlier?” Leona mumbles, pressing his face against the skin on your stomach, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh.
You absolutely hate it when he smells you like this, but that’s not important right now, “Wh-what?”
“With Farena. You looked freaked out.” Leona ever so lightly kisses the pit of your bellybutton, “He do anything to you?”
You’re not a fan of Leona acting like this. While it seems like he cares, you know from past experience that he’s typically, if not always, on the brink of a jealous meltdown. His jealous meltdowns almost always end with you sitting alone in the bathroom, tending to your own wounds as he sleeps like a kid who just threw a tantrum. So you decide to give a simple answer before distracting him, at least for a moment.
You scratch the nape of his neck, since he doesn’t like you touching his ears, “He was just his usual off-putting self. Nothing else.”
Leona grunts and looks up at you, so you take your chance. You lean down, sitting on your knees, and press a mock-reverent kiss to Leona’s thigh. He’s surprisingly hairless, for someone who is more lion than ape. You suppose the same could be said for yourself, as someone who is more ape than lion. 
Leona’s unimpressed face slants into a smirk, and his hand that was previously fondling his genitals slides to cup your cheek, fingertips rubbing behind your ear.
Now that it’s right in front of your face, you wish that you hadn’t decided that this was the best option for distraction. You think maybe anything would be better than catching those barbs in the back of your throat. The little softly-curved nubs circling the base of the head of Leona’s cock flare out a bit, resembling one of those Elizabethan ruffs, tattered by the passage of time and reduced to the skeleton. They aren’t sharp, not truly, but they’re uncomfortable, especially when you forget that the more worked up Leona gets, the further they poke out and the harsher they feel. It’s similar to someone’s very carefully blunted fingernail and fingertip rubbing against your cheeks.
You try to suck up your carefully hidden disgust and press a soft kiss to the very tip of Leona’s dick, wetting your lips with his salty pre. Surprisingly, he doesn’t taste bad. You would think that his skin, his cum, would taste bitter and harsh, but it’s not the worst thing you’ve ever tasted. Perhaps that’s a silver lining in this wicked situation.
Regardless, a quiet grumble from him makes you snap back into the reality of where you are, and you figure you may as well get to work. You slide your lips down to his base, wincing as the spongy head of his member punches the back of your throat and his hand slides back to grip your nape.
“You trying to bore me to death, runt? You know I hate this teasing shit.”
That’s right. He absolutely loathes it. You bob your head a little more expeditiously, trying to ignore the slick mixture of drool and pre that is escaping from the corners of your lips and the ever-increasing strength of Leona’s thrusts against your face.
Despite your senses being the most dull in the palace, you can sort of hear the festivities downstairs, and Leona chuckles, standing with your head still cradled in his hand so he can actually start thrusting. It always begins with you trying to set a gentle pace and it always quickly dissolves into chaos. He’s lazy, but if he’s anything more than lazy, it’s a shameless pleasure chaser. You would think that you would have learned by now.
“You can’t hear them. They’re not at all concerned with me, they’re wondering where you went off to. But everyone knows that you belong to me, so they should know that you’re with me.” Leona mumbles. 
You gag, his dickhead wetly popping against the back of your throat as the fluids in your mouth froth with the speed of his motions, gooey trails roping down to cling to your cheeks and collarbones, connecting to Leona’s shifting hips. At least he doesn’t stink today.
A bug lands on your shoulder and flits away as you choke on Leona as he shoves his cock down your throat. Maybe you should feel a bit more grateful that this is happening partially outside, and that way you can have constant reminders that you’re still alive and not in some form of purgatory, serving time for your very minor moments of humanity when you were alive. 
Leona snarls, “You’re just so cute, with those lips wrapped around me. I wonder if my brother would keep flirting with you if he knew that you were like this in private.”
The implications of that statement are absolutely lost on you. You’re aware that Leona knows how you feel about your current life to a degree, but he doesn’t give a damn about your emotions. Whatever he’s talking about is absolutely just him babbling out some sex-addled nonsense. As the barbs scrape against your uvula, you gag and try to push his hips away so you can catch your breath for a second.
He doesn’t let up. Sweat is sliding over his skin, beading into crystal pearls and sliding down to flavor the skin in your mouth with their salt. If you don’t puke from his roughness, you’re going to puke from ingesting so much sodium. His smirk grows and his fingers massage the base of your head as if he isn’t pounding into your throat.
“Aw… too much? Maybe if you were a bit more active, I’d be done a bit sooner.” He coos.
You don’t fully hate Leona. He has given you somewhere to stay, food to eat, clothes to wear, for both you and Grim, but whenever he gets like this, taunting you even though he’s using you like a cheap sleeve, you feel an indescribable, hopeless anger. Regardless, you bring one of your hands up to the copious amounts of drool and pre and sweat that are covering your skin, collecting the goop on your fingers. You cup his ass with your non-gooey hand and spread that cheek, plunging a finger into his asshole and aimlessly crooking your finger.
His hips spasm, his hand fists into your hair and he lets out a low grumble, “Rrr.”
You slowly ease your other gooey finger into his ass and hope that he will cum soon so you can catch your breath. You need a shower, and he’s probably going to just go to bed after this. You’re more tired than he is, and you’re actually beginning to think that you both might be a bit tipsy. You need this to end, and you need it to end soon.
Your prayers are answered. You feel his cock bob in the back of your throat, the glans tapping that soft spot that makes you feel it in the back of your nose, and he yanks your head back, your lips releasing him with a somewhat loud pop.
His cum is hotter than it has any right being. You suppose since he runs hot, it’s not that shocking, but you’re also aware that the whole reason that the balls are not an internal thing is because the human body is way too hot for sperm to live for long periods of time inside of the body. This information is irrelevant, however, because Leona has just made the mess on your skin that much worse. You sigh as he lets go of you, flopping back into his chair and gesturing to his cock again.
“Can you clean me up before you go running off?”
You’d love to tell him no, to ask him to shove it, but you grunt your acquiescence and tongue-clean his messy skin, as if you aren’t covered in more slime than he is. Once done, you stand up and gather your clothes, placing them in the laundry bin in the bathroom and getting in the shower.
You scrub a little harder than usual, but not hard enough to break skin, not even enough to create micro-abrasions. Once out, you throw on one of Leona’s gaudy yellow tees and take a seat on the bed. He’s already curled up under the covers, but the soft tapping of his tail lets you know that he isn’t sleeping. You slide under the covers yourself and Leona rolls over, pulling your back into his chest.
“Hey.” He mumbles into your hair, “You stink like a fresh kill.”
What’s worse? Smelling like blood in a den of predators or being in the den of predators to begin with?
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guiltycorp · 17 days ago
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Okay finished the Haruspex route of Pathologic Classic! I need to play Clara's route to see the whole picture but I'm already fascinated by the differences between P1 and P2 in terms of characterization. I think I like Pathologic 2 even more now considering how they improved on Artemy's route, I am sorry to say I didn't like it at all in classic... This is all just my personal impression after first playthrough ofc. Ramblings about both Artemy and Daniil ↓ I think what bothered me about Haruspex was mostly just his attitude and his messiah plot. Once the first day is out of the way it's all smooth sailing for him, a bit too much so?? The only personal conflict he has is figuring out his father's exact wishes for him and choosing a sacrifice. Killing anyone is treated as fair or something that needed to happen and the Haruspex is always shrugging it off... And either option, Aglaya & the Town or Polyhedron... It just doesn't seem like he is that attached to either? So it doesn't feel like he is sacrificing much personally? Like sure he wants to save the Town because of his messianic qualities, but that's again more about fulfilling his 'role' rather than genuinely wanting to save lives, or at least it read that way to me. I'm sure it's meant to be both and P2 makes this far more apparent, but in P1 it elicited a rather squinty reaction from me. Plus well yeah, getting rid of Polyhedron is pretty much just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, like yep he sure didn't care about that thing lmao so getting rid of it isn't such a difficult choice at all. The suggestion that the Polyhedron could be his Udurgh is kind of useless because the Town and Earth are far better candidates and fit with Kin beliefs better, which in this game Artemy pretty much doesn't doubt at all.  Maybe this is why the Bachelor is so present in his route? Daniil did say he'd commit suicide if he lost, maybe we'd want to think twice about pushing him towards it... But again! Does it seem like this guy cares ahhh haha... The dialogue option that is actually engaging with what Daniil said is pretty much there to make it clear to the player what the Utopian ending is and what it would be like.
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Ngl at first I thought he was meant to be the 'sacrifice' until they said it's a woman. Every time Artemy learned something about the Bachelor's motivations he'd write down in his diary like '...if it matters' since the player can always choose what ending to go with I guess. I also find it curious that he can say that they are friends but still always writing only 'the Bachelor' in his diaries while Daniil switched to 'Artemy' and 'Burakh' during the final stretch. The one-sided yaoi................ 🤔 At least Artemy doesn't get mad at him for ordering to set the mythic bull on fire, I guess their friendship did mean something to him after all at that point. Also when Capella tells him that he should ask the Bachelor for help with getting into the Polyhedron since the Bachelor 'fawns upon you a lot anyway' the Haruspex just goes 'oh yeah! ok' fjdghdjg... Now that I think about it I DID like the Haruspex route for what it did with the Bachelor hahah, his dialogues and letters are just so good sometimes. Like wow, I felt this.
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Very cool, if i was Artemy I'd totally abandon my weird murderous calling for this. Tangentially related... P2 had one moment that I remember from my last replay when Rubin, if kept alive, falls into a deep deserved sleep in his home, and Artemy just starts emotionally monologuing at him.
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Like, P1 Artemy would never, but also it goes to show that he's still very much a repressed man here too, buying into toxic masculinity ideals who can't just talk to his friends about his feelings directly... The same character, but more complex. I want to make it clear that I DO like him and his motivations in P2 actually, and his personal conflict being more about the future of the Kin makes that game much more powerful to me than what his classic route was. I heard that initially he was planned to be far more violent and dark, so maybe he could have been sort of a villain protagonist and this was changed later and this is why it feels a bit bland? Hmm... Idk this is fun to me because meanwhile the Bachelor didn't feel that different to me in both games lmao. A highly stressed educated guy who is just trying to prevent the spread of epidemic the 'right' way and then clinging to the only chance he has left to preserve both his ideals and his life. He is a bit less polite in P2 at first (while still very much helping by warding off Rubin) but then rather quickly becomes more cordial to Artemy and vice versa (and wow it sure is nice when Artemy can actually be polite and friendly..). And the moment when he explains some of his personal deal to Artemy feels rather similar in both iterations mood-wise.
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I liked his route in P1 a lot, surprisingly so, and I now understand why so many people liked him before P2 came out and afterwards too... There's just something very real about how he is the intelligent Capital doctor but with an extraordinary dream to combat death itself, possibly given to him by the Powers That Be due to these children trying to cope with people dying around them. And instead of favoring him for it they hate him! They leave him with nothing but this final chance to fix things, even if that means destroying everything and rebuilding anew. Daniil's desperation feels very real and thus more compelling, plus like... I mean it's pretty much confirmed that it's not just the Polyhedron and that the soil itself is 'rotten' (literally in the meta real world and through blood beneath the earth in the Town itself) and the decease could return again, sooo his ending doesn't look that bad comparatively. I also appreciated how Maria (or uhh was it Nina talking through her here as well?) explained how their Utopia doesn't actually mean a 'perfect' place, more so just an impossible dream.
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The Bachelor doesn't mind this at all, a detail I loved.
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...Hmm that said maybe P1 makes it a little too easy for him to kinda ignore the Kin issue, he is only mad about their circumstances when it comes to Vlad choosing to doom thousands of the Kin workers inside the Termitary (which is just his doctor ethics). I mean it is realistic for him to ignore the implications of representing the imperialist side, he does mention his father was a military man too at some point I think... Still, he is very quick to accept the Kin's unique beliefs as something that has obvious merit, trusting the Haruspex with that side of things in both of their routes, and he doesn't make much of a distinction between them and regular Town people when it comes to patient treatment. If anything it's probably a sign of how the writers weren't thinking that hard about this worldbuilding aspect at the time... even if I appreciated them showing the downsides of the Kin's society, I think those were done better than in P2 purely because it was a bit more realistic (I am talking about sexism mostly, such as selling their own daughters and not respecting their autonomy, plus the mention of Kin politics and different ruling clans rather than the hive mind situation implied in P2). Like, it is more obvious in P1 that wholeheartedly embracing the Kin's return to tradition isn't such a good solution for them either, but one that will likely happen anyway with Artemy and Taya as their new leaders. And it could get trickier in Pathologic 3 I think, especially since most of us really appreciated the portrayal of colonization in P2 and would expect it getting addressed again in future games of other character routes, but we'll see I guess! Either way I look forward to that game a lot now.
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cbrownjc · 5 months ago
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Hi! Hope you don't mind but I wanted to ask your opinion on some stuff we learned in ep 6 and possible repercussions for Daniel's character. So we get the super heavy-handed wink wink nudge nudge "body switch" line from Raglan, which imo definitely implies they are gonna go there at some point - body switching *will* be a thing.
Before this, I was actually pretty hopeful that at some point, Armand was going to turn old man Daniel into a vampire. Not sure yet how and when it would happen, but it felt like they were building towards it (also having not forgotten the super sus levodopa treatment from probably-a-vampire Dr. Fareed). But if they're going to introduce body switching (and it feels significant that this line was said to Daniel so I doubt it will NOT involve him at all), then that no longer makes sense, right? Why bother turning old man Daniel when they're gonna body switch his spirit with what I suspect might be a cloned younger version of him (played by LBF ofc)? I realize I'm making a lot of assumptions here lol but the hints are there, aren't they? Mostly I just really don't want Eric to be written out of the show - I'm so attached to his version of Daniel (though I also want to see more of LBF - I'm so torn lmao).
Where do you think they're going with this?
Hi,
Okay, so. IF older Daniel is turned and IF the body switch is still in play, I feel there are multiple scenarios going on as to where this could be going.
The first thing we have to look at is who we might see turn older Daniel if it happens. (And which I already predicted after last week's Inside the Episode for ep 2x05 gave away that the IWTV book was going to be published I think very likely is going to happen this season.) If it's Armand who does it, then it is 100% Daniel who is being turned. If it's Louis -- or anyone else -- who does it, then it 100% is not Daniel who is being turned IMO, but Raglan James -- no matter if it's Eric that we see getting bitten, drained, and turned by Louis . . . or any other vampire.
Because this show did not go to all the trouble it did in this latest episode (2x06) to specifically discuss how Armand has never once in his whole vampire life made another vampire and then not have him be the one to turn his one-and-only book-canon fledgling.
So if we see anyone other than Armand turning older Daniel at some point? Then that is Daniel's body being turned, but Daniel's actual soul/spirit/consciousness will for sure be somewhere else. Even if we don't actually see the switch happen beforehand.
If this is the case, Daniel's soul/spirit/consciousness will be in some other body -- most likely Justin Kirk's -- and I can see a scenario where Daniel doesn't want his older body back because it's now a vampire. So a new body is made for him -- via clone or whatever -- by Dr. Fareed that is younger, but not super young or something (and played by LBF -- whom I myself have already pointed out is 36 years old right now . . . meaning he could realistically play someone 40 years old IMO).
So this way, Daniel is still human, just in a different body now. And his older body is now a vampire and . . . IDK, goes off to join in on the Great Conversion thing, I'd guess. Or, maybe James just goes off to do what he did in the TotBT book but then, maybe something goes wrong with him in Daniel's older body -- maybe he's not fully anchored to it or something because this is the first time he's ever jumped bodies. Or maybe something else goes wrong (put a pin in this). And so James jumps bodies again, but he now wants to be a vampire again really bad. Which now sets up for him plotting to steal Lestat's body and the whole TotBT storyline.
However, if we see Armand turn older Daniel? I do think they could still be setting up for the body swap but, IMO, it might go more like this if they are:
Older Daniel gets turned and, just like his book counterpart, goes mad sometime very soon after he is. And I think the earlier in the show's run that Daniel gets turned the more likely we are headed toward the book scenario of Daniel losing his mind after he is turned. Because even I have kind of glossed over the fact Daniel being turned by Armand didn't lead to a happy ending for them both -- not right away. Things actually went really bad for them for decades afterward. Daniel went mad, and he and Armand were separated during that time he was, for over 20 years before Daniel finally healed and reunited with Armand again.
And while I don't think Daniel's turning on the show will lead to a +20-year separation -- because Armand and Daniel have already done that on the show -- we are very much not out of the woods on older Daniel going mad once he is turned IMO. I think Daniel going mad after he's turned is not only very much in play but will happen at some point if he is.
And, in the show? Daniel might not just go mad because he's unable to deal with what he now is or he's angry at Armand about, well, a whole lot of things. IMO, the body swap hints might also point to something, even more, being at play here. (Pin!)
This, however, is where my thoughts on these things get a bit more possibly depressing because -- I'm not 100% sure that turning older Daniel would cure his Parkinsons. Because Parkinson's isn't like cancer or being poisoned or dying from being shot or something. Parkinson's is specifically a neurological disease.
And one thing that the books have shown is that The Blood does NOT cure something neurological.
In the books, one of the twins, the vampire Maharet, was blinded before she was turned. And she isn't able to just take some human eyes and put them into her empty eye sockets and have that work permanently. The human eyes just continue to die within her eye sockets and that is because even The Blood can't heal the nerves connecting them.
We also see that The Blood doesn't help with neurological problems with the character of Mekare -- the other twin -- in the book Prince Lestat. Now, I'm only up to Chapter 15 of that book, but I have read past the part in that book where Jesse talks about Dr. Fareed examining Mekare, particularly her brain. Because while Mekare had her tongue cut out before she was turned, something happened to her mind as well. And this is what Jesse says was discovered after Mekare was examined by Fareed (via a CAT scan and other ways):
"They said Mekare was mindless," said Jesse. "They said the brain in her head was atrophied. They said there was so little indication of brain activity that she was like a human in a coma, kept alive by the brain stem alone. Apparently, she'd been entombed for so long, possibly in a cave, no one knew, that even her sight had been affected. The powerful Blood actually hardened the atrophied tissue over time [. . .]"
What this tells me is that there is probably not going to be any reversal wrt Daniel's Parkinson's once he's turned. Daniel's brain, and nerves, might just do like Mekare's did -- harden at the point they are at now. Keeping things forever in the degenerative state they are at whenever he's turned.
The Blood can kill cancer cells, destroy poison within the body, eradicate diseases like TB from the body, and even heal cuts and wounds. But it doesn't seem to be able to do anything for neurological issues, going by the books. It freezes things where they are when you are turned wrt that and does not repair them.
So older Daniel going mad after he's turned? Might not just be because of being unable to fully deal with now being a vampire. It might also be because he was turned while his body had health issues that even The Blood cannot fix. And while he will no longer age or die, Daniel might still have his body's neurological issues that were there when he was turned, just now forever frozen in that state where they were. Just like it remained so for the twins.
The show specifically focused on Daniel's shaking getting worse in episode 2x02 when he was under emotional stress/duress, which is very much a Parkinson's thing. As I know I've said more than once, I took care of my mom for 10 years while she had Parkinson's, and because so I've hyper-noticed these things -- the camera very much sometimes focusing on Daniel's shaking this season. Daniel's shaking was even commented on by Louis just last week.
And if Daniel is turned soon, well . . . imagine having to live with something like that for eternity?
And so just like with Maharet and her eyes, which Dr. Fareed figured out how to give her permanent ones that would never die in her head, (and also knew he could give Mekare a new tongue but, at least as far as I've read that offer hasn't been accepted -- and doing something for her brain was likely out of the question given that she was the Sacred Core at that point meaning her brain was fused with Amel's spirit . . . operating on that would very likely put every vampire in the world in danger), maybe this will have Dr. Fareed coming up with a new, cloned body for Daniel that don't have those neurological issues?
And then maybe that body gets stolen by Raglan James in a later season and we get the TotBT storyline that way? I can see being one way into it.
As it is, I know that making bodies for spirits to occupy does become a thing in the books after Prince Lestat. So their being able to do so is likely going to be established at some point -- and this could be one way they do so.
But, either way, if older Daniel is turned anytime soon, these are the two ways I can see it going afterward, and probably why they are also dropping body swap hints as well along with it. Because I don't think Daniel being turned is going to be simple, or lead to something happy right away. Again, it didn't in the books.
And really, this all just kind of backs up why I wasn't ever really feeling Daniel being turned anytime soon. But I realize now that my wanting the show to wait before they did so was the more happy way I was looking at it to go.
But this is Gothic Horror. And while I don't think Eric will be "written out" right away or something, I don't think whichever scenario I've given for all of this will lead to something happy. Not for a long time. There is just too much already in the source material that points to it not, IMO. And I think the show is very much setting up for that as well with the hints it's clearly dropping wrt all of this.
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hazelira · 6 months ago
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞
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⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆
The sun was setting, casting a warm golden hue over the city. I walked through the familiar streets, my mind wandering back to the countless times I'd been here before. The memories were bittersweet, a mix of happiness and heartache. 
I stopped in front of a café, its warm lights glowing invitingly. This place held so many memories for me, especially with Jake. We always came here, sharing laughs over coffee and pastries and talking about our dreams and fears. But that was before everything changed.
(Flashback)
"Y/N, you're amazing," Jake said, his eyes sparkling with genuine admiration. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
I smiled, my heart swelling with warmth. "Jake, you're the best thing that ever happened to me."
We spent countless evenings together, growing closer with each passing day. I thought we had something special, something that could last forever. But then, like a cruel twist of fate, he met her.
(Present) I pushed open the café door, the familiar scent of coffee and baked goods greeting me. I found a quiet corner and sat down, my thoughts lingering on Jake. He had moved on and found someone else, and I was left behind once again. It wasn't the first time this had happened. I seemed to have a knack for being "the girl before the one." The one who helped them grow and supported them through their most challenging times, only to be left when they found someone else to love.
(Flashback) "Y/N, I need to tell you something," Jake said one evening, hesitating. I looked at him, a sense of dread washing over me. "What is it, Jake?" "I've met someone," he admitted, looking down at his hands. "She's amazing, and... I think I'm falling for her." The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I tried to smile and be happy for him, but it felt like my heart was breaking again.
(Present) I stirred my coffee, the steam rising in gentle curls. I had always been there for him, always willing to put his needs above mine. But now, sitting here alone, I wondered if I would ever find someone who saw me as more than just a stepping stone to their true love. Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice someone approaching until they spoke. "Y/N?" I looked up, my heart skipping a beat. It was Jake. He looked different, more mature somehow, but those same kind of eyes were staring back at me. "Jake," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "It's been a while." He smiled, pulling up a chair to sit across from me. "Yeah, it has. How have you been?" I shrugged, forcing a smile. "I've been okay. You?" "I'm good," he replied, but his eyes showed a hint of sadness. "I miss our talks, you know. You were always there for me." His words stirred something inside me. I had always been there for him; maybe a part of me would always be. But I couldn't keep being the girl who got left behind. "Jake, I need to ask you something," I said, barely above a whisper. "Why was I never enough?" He looked taken aback, his eyes widening slightly. "Y/N, it wasn't about you not being enough. You were amazing. It's just... I wasn't ready for what we had. I was scared." His words hung in the air, and I felt a sense of clarity for the first time. It wasn't about me being inadequate but about timing and circumstances. "Thank you for telling me," I said, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. "I hope you find happiness, Jake. Truly." He reached across the table, taking my hand in his. "I hope you do, too, Y/N. You deserve it more than anyone."
(Months Later) Life went on, and I focused on finding my happiness. I still thought about Jake sometimes, but the pain had dulled, replaced by a sense of acceptance and peace. One evening, as I walked through the park, I noticed a familiar figure sitting on a bench. Jake looked up, his face breaking into a smile when he saw me. "Hey, Y/N," he greeted, standing up to meet me. "How have you been?" "Better," I admitted, smiling back. "A lot better." We sat down together, talking like old times. There was no longer any sadness or longing, just a comfortable companionship. As the sun set, casting a warm glow over everything, I realized I was finally ready to let go of the past. Jake and I had our time, and it had shaped us both. But now, it was time for me to find my path, to be more than just "the girl before the one." And I felt hopeful about the future for the first time in a long time.
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